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icarus-suraki · 1 year ago
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To non-horror fans, the 80% that Saw X has on Rotten Tomatoes probably means it’s mid.
To horror fans/Saw fans, that 80% might as well be the rare 100% Rotten Tomatoes score that appears once in a blue moon.
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maximura · 1 year ago
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lefaystrent · 6 months ago
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Friendly Neighborhood Criminals
Fandom: Sanders Sides
Pairings: platonic Patton/Dark Sides
Summary: Sweet, adorable, mild-tempered Patton who's just beginning to come out of his shell and learn that the world maybe does not in fact hate him for being born... has now been taken under the wings of some well-meaning criminals.
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Patton can't quite figure out how he ended up here.
Well, he knows he's in his apartment. He had saved up for months just to afford the deposit. And the landlord had been so sweet to take a chance on him with his credit, or lack thereof. Now he has a space of his own, a one bedroom with hardwood floors he can slip and slide on socked feet. He can go to the fridge when he wants and not be yelled at for eating the food or drinking the water.
And sometimes! Sometimes a black and white kitty cat roams the front steps. Patton's fairly certain it belongs to one of the neighbors, and she wears a collar. He's not supposed to pet cats because of his allergies, but he likes to let her rub her sides against his pants leg while he talks to her. It's nice because she doesn't tell him to shut up or tell him he's stupid or call him ungrateful.
This apartment is his new chance at life. A slice of freedom. And he's proud of it.
But then one night, three men break into his apartment. They probably think he isn't there because there is no vehicle parked in his one assigned spot. Owning a car seems light-years away in terms of money. It's not like he really needs one either! He has a bus pass and two legs to walk on!
Regardless, the three men break into his apartment, picking the locked front door, and they come in uninvited to see his apartment that he is very proud of.
His apartment that has no furniture.
"What the fuck?" Patton hears one of them say. As soon as he heard them picking the lock, he panicked and cowered behind the bedroom door. He huddles now on the other side, peeking out the crack and scared that closing it will make too much noise.
"Is this one empty?" another asks. They walk into the center of the small living area. It's an open space that melds into the kitchen, separated only by a short island counter.
"No, I've seen a guy coming in and out. Someone's been living here."
"Maybe they just moved out?"
"No, I just saw him earlier today. There haven't been any moving vans."
"Uh, bedroom then?"
"Oh God," Patton shudders in fright. He knows he's not supposed to think the worst in people, but these guys came in without permission with clearly bad intentions. What if they are looking for him? What if they want to hurt him? Or kidnap him? They had obviously been watching him for some time.
"Maybe. Let's check it out."
Terror slams into him. He throws himself away from the door and spins in the middle of the bedroom, searching for any place to hide. But there isn't one. There are no curtains, no bed to crawl under. There is a blanket on the floor with a pillow. He's been saving up for an air mattress as his next goal. He's been looking forward to sleeping on something somewhat soft.
The tiny closet has no room to hold him, and the window jams up nine times out of ten. They'll hear him if he attempts pushing the pane up and–
The door creaks as it sways open. Three men stare at a scattered-brain mess.
"Oh shit, he's here!"
"I thought you said he left!"
"I thought he did!"
Patton can't take it anymore. He throws up his hands and screams, "Please don't kill me! I can give you my wallet. There's not much in there, I'm sorry. Just please don't kill me!"
"Dude, is that where you sleep?" one of them gestures to the blanket pile on the floor.
Sniffling back tears, Patton responds, "Do you want my blankets? You can have them."
"Do you seriously live here, or are you squatting?" another says. He's wearing a hat. It's a very nice hat and Patton would tell him so if he wasn't about to pee his pants.
"I live here....it's my apartment."
"There's no shame if you're squatting. We won't tell anyone. Do what you gotta do."
A hysterical giggle tumbles out his lips. Patton shakes his head hard enough to give himself whiplash. "No, it's my place, I pay for it, I swear."
"You mean you live like this?" This one wears a dark hooded jacket, hood up.
"Y-yeah?" Patton stammers. He can't understand why they're so hung up on where he lives.
"This is..." the third one strokes his mustache, "Yeah, I can't even make fun of this. This is just sad."
"Do you have food in your fridge?" the hat guy demands. "Please tell me you at least have food in your fridge."
"Uh....uh... yes? Are you hungry?"
In answer, the hat guy strides with angry purpose into the kitchen. Patton can't see him from this angle anymore, but he hears the fridge open.
"There's literally only spaghetti in here!"
"It's...it's cheap to make." Patton doesn't know why he's explaining himself. Had he known that three men were going to break into his apartment, should he have prepared better meals for them?
"Can I have some?" the guy with the mustache asks, only to be cuffed by the hoodie guy.
"Dude, not the issue here."
"Why is there only pasta?!! Why don't you have any tables or TVs or a fucking bed?!!!"
The hat guy had gone past the boiling point. He hollers and slams cabinet doors like no tomorrow. Patton flinches and remembers too vividly of the atmosphere before the apartment. Before he was safe.
"I'm sorry," Patton defaults to how he's supposed to respond. He has been bad and he has to make amends. The tears overflow now and he can't get his shaking hands to wipe the wet streaks away. "I'm so sorry!"
"Oh shit, he's breaking. Virge, do something?"
"What the hell am I supposed to do?! I am not mentally equipped for this!"
"Janny!!"
The hat guy comes whirling back with all the fury of a storm. His shoulders heave. A gloved finger points straight at Patton.
"You!" he roars. Well, it's more like a hiss, but it sounds like a roar to Patton's sensitive ears.
"I'm sorry!"
"You have nothing to apologize for! Obviously, society has let you down. This is unforgivable. Deplorable! You deserve better than this."
"I do?" Patton questions, glasses askew and eyes wide.
"Yes. Come boys, we're leaving."
"Wait, why? Where?" Virge exclaims, waving his hands back and forth at everything and nothing at all. "What are we doing? This isn't the plan."
"New plan! Operation Do-It-Ourselves commences now."
And that is how Patton finds himself standing outside his apartment the next morning watching the three theives from last night moving furniture into his apartment.
He doesn't question if the furniture is stolen. He doesn't ask why they're going through so much trouble. He doesn't ever call the police.
He watches them bicker as they wedge a sofa through the door. He mumbles an answer when they politely ask him which wall he wants it pushed against. He eats the breakfast sandwiches that they brought him, and he feels like he's having an out of body experience.
Janus, the hat guy, directs the other two with confident authority. Virgil, the hoodie-clad one, fills up the fridge with groceries. Remus, the man with the mustache, shoves a mattress into the bedroom.
"What's happening?" Patton mutters to himself later. He thinks he's being quiet enough, but Remus hears him and throws an arm over his shoulder.
"Janus has adopted you. This is how it starts. It's best to just go with it."
Sweet, adorable, mild-tempered Patton who's just beginning to come out of his shell and learn that the world maybe does not in fact hate him for being born... has now been taken under the wings of some well-meaning criminals.
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judasgot-it · 25 days ago
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You ever read a fic and it just conjures up an image like this?
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kaijuno · 2 years ago
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look at my bigass HONCE
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that-one-cat-meow · 4 months ago
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GUYS GUYS GUYS
FOR ALL THE DANDY'S WORLD PLAYERS
LOOK WHAT MY FRIEND SEND ME FROM DISCORD
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DANDY'S WORLD IS FREEEEEEE
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aricoatl · 5 months ago
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Walkin
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classycookiexo · 1 year ago
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Same, I just wanna see the hype and if each woman feels different to them
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aizenat · 6 months ago
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So Donald Trump is trying to get Netanyahu to not go forward with a ceasefire because he doesn’t want Kamala getting good press from it, and these kids are protesting outside the dnc. This man is actively trying to get more Palestinians killed but sure rally against the candidate trying to at least stop the ongoing violence and killings over there. She’s so evil and genocidal.
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constanzel · 2 years ago
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Meme found on Our Flag Means Omens
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As someone who’s never consumed any One Piece media, this is legit all I knew about the characters going into the Netflix show:
Luffy is going to be king of the pirates and he’s made of rubber since he ate the gum-gum fruit.
Zoro is just like a samurai
Nami is a lady and she’s not shy
Usopp is a marksman
Sanji cooks
Chopper doctors
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maximura · 1 year ago
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skysgalaxy · 1 year ago
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Padme Amidala wasn't Anakin's downfall she was his savor
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charcubed · 1 year ago
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I love thinking about how the amc iwtv fandom is filled with sickos but also, more importantly, how amc iwtv is being made by sickos and I get so excited for season 2 I start vibrating
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