#(if you have issues: have submitted but don't see your name or want to use a different name; contact me by messages and say so)

[bunnys-kisses]

Hi! Can I have a croissant alongside a banana bread with a side of vodka shot with Toto Wolff please?

bakery menu

want to submit your own order? check out the menu! i write for more than just formula one so hit me with it! thank you to his anon for the lovely order and i hope you love it! this was a pleasure to write!! <3

croissant ("i wonder if your father knows what happens during the off hours. if he knows you're here with me.") + banana bread ("i'm going to fuck that sweet pussy of yours until the only word your little brain can form is my name.") + vodka shot (rough sex) served by toto wolff (formula one)!

cw: smut/pwp, age gap (20s/50s), horner!reader, daddy kink, daddy issues, yacht sex, references to lestappen, clothed male/naked woman

rumors were a dirty thing on the grid. they could hurt people and there were efforts to keep them from spreading too far. this was less of a rumor and more of an open secret that no one really acknowledged.

if they did, that meant having to know that chrisitan horner's daughter was sleeping with toto wolff.

you liked toto, you had for some time. there was something about him that drew you in. those large hands, that smile, how determined he was to his job. he was a dedicated man.

just like he was dedicated to making you feel good in all aspects.

it was summer break for formula one, and while your father was in england for the time being. you were in monaco under the guise of seeing friends. your father was hesitant to let you go away for so long, it was a long time away.

"be safe. not too much partying. i need you to call me or at least text me. and if any of those driver boys try to get too close, do not hesitate to hit, punch or whatever."

you nodded as you held you carry on bag close to your chest, "i know, daddy. don't worry!" it wasn't even like you had any interest in any of those drivers, older than you were like old man and younger than you were like annoying younger brothers.

plus, you were already taken.

not that your father knew that. when you hugged him before getting into the car to the airport, you felt giddy. you were constantly texting toto when you got on the phone. thankfully the plane ride wasn't too long and your loving boyfriend met you at the airport in nice.

you giggled and ran into the man's arms.

it was a beautiful sunny afternoon when toto took you out on the boat. but his eyes were on more than just the water as he got everything ready. the sight of you in a white two-piece swimsuit.

you giggled when he took you by the waist, the boat still at the dock. you curled into him and held onto the front of his white button up.

he said to you as he took you by the chin, "i wonder if your father knows what happens during the off hours. if he knows you're here with me."

you shook your head, "no, no. he thinks i'm with friends. i have to get verstappen to cover for me so my father will be less worried." you got on your tip-toes and kissed him on the lips.

"oh, so you told verstappen. i thought this was supposed to be a secret."

you tapped your lover's nose, "mutual agreement." you giggled, "if he tried to go to the press about us." you smiled brightly, "i have something ten times worse."

toto got closer to in your space and asked, "and what exactly what would that be?" curiosity got the best of him. usually he didn't get into the affairs of drivers, especially if they weren't working for him.

you shrugged, "remember that text message i got from him about that emergency, because he was stuck at that hotel near where we were?"

toto's hands rubbed your shoulders as he said, "yes. i remember that."

"yeah, he was stuck with leclerc." you smiled, "so, we have a mutual agreement to not spill the beans about the other." you leaned in to kiss toto on the lips, "my father may have a meltdown if he knew we were together. he'd burst a blood vessel if charles and max came out." but you said, "i'm happy for them." then kissed toto on the lips again.

the man wrapped his arms around you and held you close to him. he enjoyed the feeling of your lips against him. your body warmed from the sun against him.

you were barely clothed and he was still in a button up and pants. he placed a large hand on your ass and gave it a squeeze. he looked down at you and smiled, "you look very beautiful." he said to you.

"you're not too bad yourself. i thought about wearing that 'tacky' swimsuit i got online that one time just to rile you up." you giggled.

toto's lips were on your neck as he placed both hands on your ass. then gave the cheeks a squeeze, "i told you to not wear that."

it was a two piece swimsuit that was barely held together by strings. but the pattern on the cups and bottoms were of off-brand hot sauce bottles. toto had bought you so many nice swimsuits over your time together, so there was no need to wear it.

"but, why it shows how spicy i am." you winked.

he groaned and shook his head, "schatzi, please." he got you on the couch that was on the deck and had his hands on your hips. he leaned in and kissed you on the lips.

you two were in the semi-public, but it would be hard to see unless someone is right next to the boat. it only made it more erotic to you, the possibility of someone seeing.

you straddled his waist and rubbed your barely clothed pussy up against his lap which made the older man groan. he knew that this shouldn't be happening. it was bad enough he was wrapped around the fingers of a woman young enough to be his daughter, but on top that you were the daughter of one of his bigger rivals.

but the way you melted in his arms and rubbed against his cock made him feel otherwise, in all fairness, you were a legal adult who could make her own choices. even if your father was a little protective.

you kissed him square on the mouth and he took you by the hips. he rubbed his clothed cock up against you. you groaned a little bit and kissed him more.

"you're prettier when you're on top." he chuckled as he massaged your hips, "but you always know that you could end up underneath me at anytime. because you're a good girl, right? my good girl."

you nodded, feeling the heat in your cheeks. you rubbed up a little further and said, "of course, toto."

he reached and tapped your nose, "toto?" he tilted his head to the side, "there's another name you like to call me, no?"

you swallowed, "you're an insatiable old man."

he pressed himself further against you and replied, "i may be, schatzi. but i'm still your daddy."

you blushed further before you took off the swimsuit top and he groped at your breasts with his large hands. he groaned a little bit before he grabbed onto your hips then pushed down the bottoms off of you.

you were naked and working to get toto's cock out of his pants. you swallowed when you caught sight of it. you stroked it softly and he shuddered. all you had to say about his cock was that it was proportionate to his over six foot frame.

"i'm going to fuck that sweet pussy of yours until the only word your little brain can form is my name." he said.

"mmm, please." you whimpered.

he rubbed the back of your head and smiled at you as you gazed at his cock. you two were out in the open, but had a bit of privacy to continue your little affairs. you kissed him deeply as he seated you onto his cock.

his jaw tensed at the feeling of your slick pussy around his cock. you were a dream, he couldn't believe that horner's daughter was the woman of his dreams. but as he groped your soft flesh, that didn't matter. all he wanted was you, he wanted the pretty little thing that bounces on his cock with ease.

you whimpered and dug your fingers into the meat of his shoulders. you rolled your hips up and down his cock. you said, "shit, daddy! ah! please"

he hissed through his teeth when his cock nudged against some of the softest parts of you. he groaned and buried his face into your breasts as he moved against you.

the two of you moved in time with each other. you could feel his teeth against your breasts which only turned you on more. he felt so good, it was like a little addiction.

"daddy, ah!" you whimpered.

"you're so beautiful." he said, "when i saw you on the track, it took everything in my power not to lead you away from your father and fuck the daylights out of you."

you groaned, "c'mon daddy, don't talk about him right now. i need your cock more than anything." you whimpered as you continued to move up and down on his cock.

it felt so snug inside of you and the pace you were using was rough. but it excited you, it made you hot all over. your breasts bounced in front of his face, it was very hot.

"fuck, please. you are so fucking good, daddy. it's not fair. no one else has ever been able to fuck me the way you do." you whined. your sexual history was primarily made up of interactions with toto.

he had to taught you most of what you knew about sex, at least in a pleasurable sense. he was the first person to make you cum. you thought that orgasms were reserved for you and your toys. but toto proved you wrong.

"i need you daddy." you whimpered.

"you have me." he replied as he continued to kiss you. his kisses lingered on your collarbones as you rode him. it felt so good. he was a divine lover.

you kept up your pace and felt the pleasure course through your body. your pretty tits bounced with each movement. you looked so nice naked, he loved the sight of your body.

you fit him like a glove.

his kisses were sloppy as you dug your nails into his shoulders. the pleasure bounced in his head as he moved against you. his cock hitting all the right places.

"please, daddy. i only want you. i never want to fuck anyone else."

he grabbed you by the head and said, "good, because no one else will ever touch you."

you soon climaxed, your voice filled the open air. but toto pulled you into a searing kiss, his grip on you was tight as he bullied his cock into your poor bruised cunt. you'd be feeling it all by morning. he continued his movements against you. you panted wildly and felt the flash of heat through your body. you moaned, "please, daddy."

"i've got you, schatzi." he said then groaned.

you slowed down your pace and rested against your lover's chest. you could feel his quick pulse. you enjoyed the feeling of him inside of you. but it didn't take long before he started to thrust up into you again.

he groaned, "i need you more, schatzi." he gripped onto your hips tightly and moved up into you, "i only have a few weeks with you before you have to go back to your father. and i want to make sure i've touched all over you, and you don't forget my touch."

you moaned, you wouldn't mind going another round. or maybe another three rounds. after all, you needed your daddy. and you wanted to make sure you that you felt every inch of him in return.

when he groped your ass, you squirmed.

"please, daddy. i need you."

-

the end of the summer break spelled the dutch grand prix. hamilton and russell were sitting waiting for their time to get going. russell looked at his teammate and asked, "did you see wolff?"

"what's going on with him?"

russell stretched out on the couch and little, "saw him with horner's daughter during break. i passed by his boat and found her in next to nothing."

"ah, c'mon, now you're just spreading rumors!" hamilton got closer, "but i am curious to know what you apparently saw there, mate." rumors were a dirty thing on the grid, but sometimes the information was just too delicious. <3

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Okay, this is super preliminary, but since we've been talking about zoo accessibility I wanted to launch a project I've been planning for a couple months.

One of the hardest things about visiting zoological facilities when disabled is the lack of knowledge ahead of time, right? Often the information on the zoo's website about accessibility doesn't contain everything folk need to know to plan a visit. I think we can probably help fix that, even if it's with just crowd-sourced knowledge!

This is a google spreadsheet for recording accessibility information for various zoos. It is super unfinished right now, FYI. That's partially because I need to fill in more of it from my own experiences, and partially because there are things I didn't note or experience - which I'd love for y'all to chime in about.

Categories for the spreadsheet so far include rentable assistance options, service dog information, accessible bathroom locations, mobility, vision, auditory and sensory issues (or accommodations), food allergy options, and general notes. I'm also including the information each zoo website provides, and guest assistance phone numbers, so all the information is in one place.

To add to this crowd-sourced zoo accessibility resource:

Send an ask to the blog, or comment on the appropriate cel on the spreadsheet (if the facility you want to comment on is already listed).

Provide the name of the zoo/aquarium/sanctuary and the approximate date you visited.

Tell me your experiences / information, and what categories they belong in.

Feel free to submit photos, if that's useful info! I'm going to see if I can find a way to host them and link in the spreadsheet.

I'll take information as it's submitted and integrate it into the sheet. If the zoo you've visited isn't on the list yet, I still want to add it! This resource is going to stay US-based, however. (I just don't have the capacity to manage an international one).

Obviously, I can't personally verify everything people submit, so this is very much a resource and not a definitive guide. Date stamps are crucial important for keeping track of what's recent and what might have been updated since someone visited.

Let's make zoo, aquarium, and sanctuary visits more accessible for everyone!

[fuckyeahfraxus]

Fraxus Week

                                      is approaching for yet another year!

We haven't forgotten or dropped this event! Due to admins' personal issues, it takes place around a different time this year. Thank you all so much for your patience and your continuous love and support ❣️

Save the dates and please help spreading the word as much as possible. Even if you don't plan on participating, it would be a great help if you share the post 😊. Every reblog helps us to get the information around, so nobody misses the oppourtunity ❣️

As every year we can't wait to see what you guys will come up with for the prompts and thank you for everyone who sent in their suggestions. We made sure to try and mix and match them well!! It's always a highlight of the year and it's so amazing to see that the love and fandom for this incredible ship still very much existent and strong. Newbie or oldie, we welcome you!

The week will being on the 31st of August with the first Bonus day (we call it Fraxus Week Eve) and end on the 8th of September with the second Bonus day, as usual. The rules haven’t changed but please make sure to read them again, especially if this is gonna be your first time participating.

So, the prompts, finally, - here goes!

August 31st/Fraxus Week Eve: (Dancing in the) Rain / Height of Summer

September 1st/Day 1: Learn how to love / Transformation

September 2nd/Day 2: Sports & Competition

September 3rd/Day 3: Hidden moments

September 4th/Day 4: Dusk/Dawn or Moonlight/Shooting Stars

September 5th/Day 5: Solace / Haunted

September 6th/Day 6: Mischief and Debauchery

September 7th/Day 7: Guildmates / Family

September 8th/Bonus day: Mythology AU/Crossover or Videogame/Movie AU/Crossover

RULES:

Everyone is allowed to participate and basically every sort of entry is allowed! Art, a fanfic, edits, headcanons, …everything! Just make sure that it has to do with Fraxus and does not imply something else/negative/other ships/trigger topics like r*pe etc! It also shouldn’t include something n.sfw. Entries bordering on n.sfw or suggestive mentions are alright.

Please put at least one of the tags fraxusweek or fraxus week in the first five tags of your entry! fraxus will suffice, too, if you forget to tag it otherwise but using the first two named tags will just make it easier for us to find the entries for this week! If you have twitter, you can also post your entries there with the tags!

You can also combine prompts, create multiple pieces per prompt or not use the prompts at all. If you’re not inspired by any of them, it’s okay to do your own thing or do something similar to the prompts.

The prompts can take place in the Canon Verse or an Alternate Universe, it's up to you!

Don’t worry about being late/on time! Late entries are always welcome, no matter how late. We know that things can get stressful very easily, so don’t worry about it!

Do not steal other people’s content! That won’t be accepted and that applies not only to this week but in general. Also refrain from reposting somebody's work without permission.

You can also submit your entries to our blog if you want.

If you’ve got any questions, just shoot us a an ask or a private message!

That’s it! We’re super looking forward to the event again. Let’s celebrate our beautiful ship!

The artwork on the banner is drawn by the absolutely lovely @intelligentbiscuit! We used it with their permission and want to give a shoutout for y'all to go and support their artwork! Y'all can find the original artwork post right >here< and they're also currently taking commissions. Thank you again for allowing us to use your artwork for the banner <3 😊

[doodle-zine]

Doodle Zine!

Hi! I'm Stars ( @ilovedthestars ) and I like making zines.

I would like to invite anyone who is interested to participate in a fun and low-stakes collaborative zine project! We can't quite get the scissors-glue-and-photocopier vibe of a classic zine on Tumblr, but I'm hoping to make something that's as close as we can get over the internet.

There's something so fun and personal about doodles. They mostly exist on paper, and are rarely shown off to other people, but they can be so unique and individual. I always loved swapping doodles in friends' notebooks and having a little something from them in the corner of my homework. That's a vibe I'd like to bring to my little corner of the internet.

So! If you're interested, I would love for you to draw some doodles, take a photo, and send them to me via this form! I will compile the submissions into both a digital zine and a printable version (5.5x4.25" pamphlet format), and share them here on Tumblr when they're finished.

(The form requires a gmail sign-in, but I will not be able to see the email you use. If you don't have a gmail account to use, you can DM me on tumblr or discord to submit)

There is no selection process--I will be including every submission that I feasibly can. I would like to emphasize that this is not an art zine, it's a doodle zine! Here are some examples of what I'm talking about when I say "doodles." The point is to have fun together, and I will not be holding you to any sort of artistic standard, so please don't hold yourself to one.

This form will be accepting submissions for at least two weeks (until July 16th).

I will leave the form open longer if submissions come in slowly. If I get too many submissions for one zine, I will simply make more zines and turn it into a series. If I am absolutely overwhelmed with submissions, we'll see how far I get through them, but I will work approximately in order of submission until I run out of energy. I have no solid timeline beyond that--this is a fun summer project for me, and I'm trying not to turn it into homework. But I'm very excited about making this happen!

The (loose) guidelines for submissions are listed in the form, as well as below the cut, for your convenience. Feel free to follow this tumblr for updates, or send in questions via the askbox. Happy doodling!

Guidelines:

Doodle anything, as messy, scribbly, abstract, or silly as you want! This zine is about little moments of connection, not about artistic quality. Treat your page like the margins of your notebook during a long lecture (or doodle in the margins of your notebook during a long lecture and submit it!)

Your page of doodles will be 4.25 inches wide by 5.5 inches tall, or 1/4 of a sheet of letter-sized paper. Either work at this size or be okay with me cropping to fit the dimensions!

Use whatever drawing tools you like, but know that light pencil might not show up well.

Lined paper is fine. So is paper with stuff printed or written on it that you have doodled over/around (as long as there are no identifying/sensitive details, like the name of a school or workplace).

Sign your page somewhere with whatever name or username you're comfortable with! Or indicate below that you chose to submit anonymously.

Take a photo! It doesn't have to be a great photo, but a decent photo will make it easier for me to edit. Try to have brightish light, no direct shadows on the paper, and a mostly straight-on angle. Leave the edges of the paper within the photo, no need to crop. I'll take care of the rest!

If there are any issues with your submission (like a photo I can't use) I will contact you and give you the chance to resubmit, so no worries.

Most importantly, have fun :)

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Welcome! Only Event Requests are Open

I post a lot of polls, all in the name of some good fun. Please stick to the rules. If you made a request I'm getting to it, but I am a full-time college student, so I am very busy.

Propaganda is welcomed. However, please be respectful.

Disclaimer: My rules state characters must be canonically over the age of 15 or assumed high schooler or adult. Now that means minors can and probably will be matched up against each other and against 18+ characters. Please don't come at me about that choice. These characters are fictional. You can't hurt them, and a blog like this isn't going to normalize preying on minors. YES, it's wrong in real life, but anime teenagers are not normal teenagers. I literally just finished an anime about an assassin trying to get back to his wife. He was 16 and had a wife. I swore he was at least 20, but sometimes anime ages don't make sense. Please don't start anything, or I will start blocking. But for those of you who don't want to participate in those polls, I will tag them with #minor poll so you can block all polls that have confirmed 15-17-year-old characters. So if you have a problem with this decision, block the tag and don't participate. Don't start crap I have ways of punishing people even if they cause issues anonymously that's why there is fandom jail.

Now, that does mean please, in your request, mark that there is a 15-17-year-old so I can add the special tag for the sake of everyone that doesn't want to participate in these polls. To clarify, if they started the series at 14 and ended the series at 16, they will still qualify for my polls.

Now if you see a character that is a minor and the poll is not tagged, please let me know. You can politely leave a comment or shoot me an ask and I will add the tag. Some people are not the best at letting me know their poll has a minor in it and needs the tag when they request

Characters, where age verification is complicated due to magic, time travel, other universe shenanigans, or the immortal child trope are accepted on a case-by-case basis and will be tagged with the #schrodingers minor just to be safe

If the ship is incest, whether it be adopted or blood I will have to tag it with #incest ship so So people can filter it out if they don't want to see it. So if you see a poll that needs it. Let me know in the comments. However, this does not include found family. Please do not try to argue that ships like Naruto/Sasuke or Zoro/Sanji or somehow incest. I have seen things on the internet so I have to clarify.

If you have particular photos in mind, you can submit them through the inbox. Now if you send photos please no photo links. They are unreliable. They frequently do not work. And because I try to only use official photos, I do not accept links to Facebook or Pinterest for photos

Polls that contain spoilers relating to any fandom will be marked with the tag #spoiler poll so you can go ahead and block it now Now if you see a poll that contains a spoiler you can leave a comment and I will mark it. People are also terrible at letting me know if things are spoilers.

Not sure if the show counts here. Is it a list of cartoons and anime-like shows and if can they be requested before you ask

Please be aware sometimes people are degenerate and love to respond to things, with unhinged thirst so those posts will be tagged with #spicy or #nsft if you would like to block those tags

Non-Poll Series

These can all be found under their respective title tags

Poll Analysis, where I write down my thoughts about observations I have made about fandom behaviors and trends because some of you guys have interesting behavioral patterns, and I read every tag and comment left on my polls

Nicknames and Funny Tags, where I collect All those creative tags and comments that have been left on my polls for your viewing pleasure. I have posts dedicated to specific fandoms and their creativity, which I update whenever I have time

Fandoms vs Illiteracy, where I publish one of the many essays I receive asking me to ban certain characters or fandoms and due to their problematic nature or other stupid reasons. This can sometimes turn into a fierce debate

Defend Your Blurbo, my bi-weekly series discussing how some people can find (insert Blorbo of the week) attractive. This can be funny. This can be stupid. Sometimes, this involves PHD level dissertations in defense of our favorite 2D characters. You never know what you're going to get. Also, look under the Defend your Blurbo response tag. That's where all my followers send their responses to the original Defend Your Blurbo post. Those can get wild! DyB Masterlist and Series rules and guidelines

The Horny Scale is a series where people ask where particular fandoms fall on the horny scale. I made details here, and the Masterlist

Defend your blurbo, and horny scale entries can be sent at any time

Fandom Jail, aka the Wall of Shame

All fandoms listed below are serving their jail sentence due to bad behavior. Here are the dates of when you can expect to see polls from these fandoms again

The jail is empty. Everyone has been on their best behavior. Let's keep it that way

[cannibaled]

my bf oliver quick headcanons

semi nsfw ☆

hand + thighs man —

both in an erotic sense and a romantic sense. he finds beauty in hands and thighs, and i imagine he likes grabbing your thigh when you're sitting close together.

cigarette sharing —

he doesn't smoke as much as the others. and, you probably don't, either. there's something amusing to him about holding up the cigarette for you to take a drag and watching you cough and your face go red. im sorry but he's weird.

pda —

with oliver, i dont see him really being public about dating you. his true self is complicated. he's possessive over you and doesn't like you getting flirted with, but also doesn't feel the need to air out his business that you're dating. not just possessive, but also obsessive. he'd be the type that's torn over showing you off, or keeping you all to yourself. but then, he'd also think that information being out there that you're his would be too vulnerable. and so, his 'pda' is VERY subtle. thigh grabs under the table, pinning you in darken corners to kiss you, things like that.

music —

okay. hear me out. i feel like he'd listen to the smiths. but not just the smiths. the killers,and she wants revenge. i feel like he'd also enjoy slowdive and like felix, muse. also, the bravery. fav song would be hatefuck lol. likes sharing his earbuds with you when you two are relaxing, and lets you queue songs.

size difference —

okay. so he's not THAT much taller than you, but he is larger in body size. he's ripped. so, rather than wholly using his general size against you, he LOVES using his strength against you. it's fun when you argue and he's able to pin you down, or when you're having sex, do the same or press your face into the pillows. will also sometimes pick you up and throw you over his shoulder. in a softer sense, he likes cuddling by holding you into him or hugging you from behind when you're doing something.

sex life —

hes intense. im just gonna say it. ofc there will be times where hes more gentle than most because he can't just manhandle you all the time, but let me say it now — HES always in the dominant position. he finds it cute when you try to fight his dominance to take over, but he wins every. time. when your relationship progresses though, he'll probably find it more comfortable to submit. likes leaving bruises from impact, bite marks. sloppy kisses because he likes tasting you, and of course, big on giving head. i feel like he'd probably like some blood in there too, probably from making your lips bleed.

pet names —

'doll', 'baby', 'little mouse'. i feel like the last one is more so when just 'putting you in your place'

i love yous —

this is tricky with oliver. i feel like you'd have to get him in a vulnerable position to say 'i love you' — you'd say it first, and he'd be reluctant to return it, even though he loves you back. probably when an argument gets especially bad, and you're on the verge of leaving him is when he says it.

arguments —

i feel like eventually, him not wanting to be public about your relationship would be an issue. or maybe he pisses you off due to his obsessive or possessive behavior, and it causes issues. will always squeeze your cheeks and grab your chin and force eye contact during arguments. he likes seeing you angry, riled up.

hopeless —

i feel like he's also big on sending voice notes. ofc texting too! but his voice is pretty, and it's sort of enjoyable to him. plus, he likes receiving them back.

party life —

we know already that he's more reserved, but that doesn't mean he's a party pooper. he just doesn't party as hard as felix, far, or venetia, but he drinks. he always keeps an eye on you. NEVER looks away. if you're getting flirted with, he'll tell them to get lost. probably ends up getting jealous when you dance with someone else and pulls you off to remind you you're his.

[sunnycanvas]

Baldwin IV x female reader smut

Warning: Misogyny kink and orgasm denial

You had struggled to to argue. Instead you whimpered in shame and embarassment. Your husband was deeply buried inside of you. You could feel each and every inch of his cock inside of you. You were so surprised , your husband who was so gentle was suddenly rough today.

Baldwin iv was frustrated today. Guy of lusignan was so damn frustrating! He was tired of his constant disobedience. On the top of that the issues with baron wasn't helping either. He struggled to unite them. All his other relatives wanted to take his throne weren't good enough for it. He just wanted to retire and spend some time with you but nope even that wasn't possible. He now hears that you had rebelled against baron so they were angry with you.

Initially he came to talk but it somehow ended up in sex. He roughly pounded at you. You were under him bare with your legs spread. Clearly at your husband's mercy.

"Baldwin"

You somehow managed to whisper but he slapped you at your chest Normally he tends to be gentle but today he is going to be exception. He is sick and tired of being swayed by his opinion because of ambitious people

You couldn't get words out anymore because it felt so good but Baldwin iv was having none of it. He slapped you at your chest again.

"You have lost the right to call me by my name"

"From now on you will call me My Lord" he said angrily

After hearing this you wanted to argue but before you you could argue he flipped you over and took you from behind. Now you were laying on your chest with Baldwin iv spooning you from behind and roughly pounding inside you .

"Aren't you at perfect position as my woman, laying under me"

" Submitting to me"

"This is how you should be, submitting to your lord husband"

He said while he slowly crept his hands and grabbed your chest playing with your nipples.He pinched, pulled and rolled them around his fingers. He couldn't help but think of children while playing with your nipples. How wonderful would it be to have a family with you but he knew it wasn't possible because of leprosy. Baldwin iv was distracted by his thoughts when he felt you tightening. He simply wasn't going to let you get pleasure easily so he pulled out

You had tears in your eyes. Begging for release.

"Disobedient woman don't get to have pleasure"

"Must you go against natural authority created by God"

Baldwin iv said while leaving the bed and standing on the floor. You got up on the bed with help of your knees ready to defend yourself

"How dare he"

You opened your mouth to argue but before you could argue. Baldwin iv roughly grabbed you by neck forcing your open mouth to suck his cock. You were now bend down sucking your husband

"You are finnally using your mouth for something you were made for"

Hearing this you still didn't want to give up and Baldwin iv seemed to pleased seeing you on your knees sucking his cock and struggling to speak

"It feels good to know as a woman you are finnally learning your position"

"On your knees in front of man"

"As a obedient wife you should be pleasing your husband not arguing back to him"

Baldwin iv said as he moved you up and down sucking his cock like you were some kind of toy. Soon he realeased inside your mouth.

"You don't get to cum today for being disobedient to your lord husband"

He said as he quickly wore his clothes and left the room being fully aware that you still wanted an orgasm. You remained in the room bare with his cum dripping out of your vagina hole and his cum inside mouth.

Later that night Baldwin iv came into your room . "My love I am so sorry" he said.

" I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't be so rough with you" "I was feeling so embarassed to even talk you but I couldn't go on without apologising to you" "Please forgive me my love"

You gently smiled and hugged and said"All is forgiven my love". Perhaps you should rebel once more with people

[1dcommunityficrecs]

New Category: Trans and Nonbinary Characters!

As of this post, we are currently in the midst of Trans Awareness Week, a period intended to celebrate trans and gender non-conforming individuals, educate people about their experiences (both positive and negative), and work for progress on issues affecting the trans community. This week is followed by the Transgender Day of Remembrance, commemorating those killed by transphobic violence. These events are particularly poignant right now, given the state of discourse and politics in many western countries.

In honour of my trans friends and family, I want this rec list to celebrate fics that feature characters who are trans and/or nonbinary -- submit your favourites here! Any fics with a trans or nonbinary character and with at least one member of One Direction are eligible for submission. The trans/nonbinary character does not have to be a member of One Direction (e.g. it could be a friend, partner, relative, fan, etc.) and they do not have to be a focal or POV character (though ideally they are more than a momentary presence). These stories also don't necessarily have to be about the trans/nonbinary experience (although they certainly can be); they also can be stories about living and loving and finding joy, while also happening to be trans.

For anyone unfamiliar with or wanting a refresher on these terms, transgender individuals are people whose gender identity does not match the gender that was decided for them at birth, based on their chromosomes or physical features. Nonbinary individuals can fall under the trans umbrella, and do not identify as fitting into the traditional gender binary of man and woman. They may identify as a mixture of man and woman, a different gender outside man and woman, or no gender at all (among other possibilities!). Trans and nonbinary people may choose to undergo medical transitions such as hormone replacement therapy, social transitions such changing their clothing or hair, legal transitions such as changing their legal name or ID gender marker -- or they may choose not to. There are also individuals who may present in ways that do not conform to gendered expectations, but without identifying as transgender (e.g. men who enjoy wearing dresses or makeup, but still identify as men, or women wearing short hair or suits).

The trans and nonbinary rec list will post on Sunday, December 1st, and submissions will remain open until it goes live.

And as a reminder to myself and any other cis allies -- standing up for your trans loved ones is more important than ever right now. There are a hundred ways to show that support, from donating to organizations supporting trans folks to calling your government representatives to advocate for trans-supportive policies to helping a friend fundraise for their gender affirming care to voting in every election (including primaries) to speaking out when you see or hear transphobia around you. I implore you to put in the work, and to remember that we are stronger united than divided. Queer people have existed for millennia, and we will continue to exist for millennia to come. They cannot silence us, cannot erase us, cannot destroy us. We will persist.

[zhongrin]

┋ The Steambird Issue No.517

article commissioned by the fontaine steambird magazine and written by ✾ mei/rin ✾

[Breaking News!] Our Fontaine gadget makers did it again, folks!

A collaboration project between Fontaine's best gadget makers and the scholars at Sumeru Akademiya has resulted in a prototype device inspired by the now-obsolete AKASHA system.

Not many details have been revealed, but as the scholars described it, they are aiming to use the concept of AKASHA to create a virtual space, called TeyvaTweets, where people can communicate with one another without seeing each other's faces! Yes - much quite like a communication device, but one that utilizes text instead of the usual verbal methods of communication.

A few selected testers have been invited to try it out, and if you're one of the lucky ones - congratulations! We look forward to seeing how this new technology will help connect people across Teyvat.

——————————⟡⟡⟡ ✉️ ⟡⟡⟡——————————

Dear <USER>,

𝒞ongratulations! You have been selected to help with testing out the fruits of our labor, here at the Sumeru-Fontaine collaboration project. Enclosed is the device containing the application: TeyvaTweets. Have fun perusing it, and we look forward to your feedback.

⧽ [ Turn on the device ]         [ Leave it off ]

ps. user manual and warnings attached on a separate page.

𝚄𝚜𝚎𝚛 𝙼𝚊𝚗𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚟𝟷.𝟶.

you should be able to open it using both phone and pc (it's just a normal website).

clicking on pfp/name/username in a tweet (orange box) will open the profile of that person. clicking the 'x' icon on the popup box's top right side will close the user profile.

clicking the tweet on the main page will open the tweet's replies thread. clicking the back button will bring you back to the main page.

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜.

there are suggestive contents inside, but nothing explicit.

some of you make cameos under other people's tweets too! see if you can spot yourself ;)

there's a lot of images for this one so the page might load slowly for you, especially if your internet isn't fast. i'm also using a free hosting service from GitHub, so yeah.

in order to indulge everyone, please pretend the tweet reply threads that 'overlap' with one another is a separate world on their own (e.g. if multiple people are flirting with a character and they flirt back in the reply thread don't point fingers and say that they're unfaithful / is cheating / ruin someone else's fun in general ;;;)

tested on chrome & safari web browsers on a mac and iphone + google pixel. crossing my fingers that it works on other devices too...

created for 𝓏𝒽𝑜𝓃𝑔𝓇𝒾𝓃'𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭 (submissions are closed)

might make a y/n-ify version of this in the future bc my brain accidentally fleshed out a whole concept of how it would work, but don't count me on that bc it's gonna take a lot more effort than this and honestly idk if it's even worth it-

——————————⟡⟡⟡ ✉️ ⟡⟡⟡——————————

© zhongrin | 2023 ◆ no repost. reblogs much appreciated. feel free to reach out to submit suggestions, feedback, comments, or if you just want to talk!

◇ taglist ◇ @thestarsofenkanomiya | @genshinparty | @abyssmal-skies | @hamdehlesmis | @depressivecomforts | @sophiethewitch1 | @why-am-i-here-someone-save-me | @sunnshineflxwer | @heartonthemoon | @yuutasbabe | @percyval-archives | @carbs-need-more-love | @rebeccka | @queen-belial | @stygianoir | @silentmoths | @niktwazny303 | @dustofthedailylife | @herdrops | @diebischesther | @marina-and-the-memes | @angryhope | @mixed-kester | @shuangxo | @fiannee | @lordbugs | @anonymousficreader | @shizunxie | @ladylofspades | @sup-zfam | @ansy-tea | @irethepotato | @nachotrash | @algrimmammon | @sassy-cat-in-town

[penvisions]

garnish {chapter 7}

Pairing: Chef! Joel Miller x Bartender! Reader

Summary: Reeling from a tense encounter with your professor, your emotions get the best of you. Self-destruction always makes for a good show to coworkers who don't have the whole picture.

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: violence, language, threatening behavior, misogynistic behavior, sexist language, threatening ultimatum, abuse of power, academic stress, academic anxiety, degrading talk from male characters, self-destructive behavior, home invasion, attempted break in, description of injuries, blood, injuries in the kitchen, dangers of sharp knives, intense emotions, readers internal monologue gets apathetic, reader has depressive and isolating thoughts, talk of injuries, self-depreciation, secret relationship, work relationship, power dynamics (due to job rankings), sexual content, allusions to sexual content, allusions to past feelings of inadequacy, reader gets in her head about life path, reader is having a tough time ngl, invasion of personal space, restaurant lingo, triggers associated with the food industry, smoking, cigarettes, use of tobacco, childhood trauma, reader reveals parentage issues, abandonment issues, past trauma, major angst

A/N: been struggling with this chapter for real, y'all. but the remainder of this fic is outlines and i'm beyond excited to get down to the nitty gritty with it. hope this feeds you well and happy holidays ♡

ao3 link || series masterlist || main masterlist || kofi

“Yes, my brother. He’s been keeping a low profile lately, trying to avoid suspicion that could land him in the hands of the authorities. He’s explained to me that you’re under the impression that he came onto you too strongly for your comfort and decided to submit a police report against him with the help of your boss.”

Surprise colored your features, not expecting this to be the reason why you weren’t being considered for something that would further your academic career, help you to establish yourself in your field of study.

“He put his hands on me in two different situations. He didn’t back off when I verbally told him I wasn’t interested. Then he proceeded to put his hands on me, attacked me outside of my place of work.”

“That’s what he said you would play it off as, but seeing the way that you interact with the gruff boss of yours, playing hard is what seems to be your prerogative.”

“If you want the internship, you need to drop the report. Tell them it was a lover’s spat or something, I’m not really too concerned with how you spin it. But drop it, or I will deny your application and tell my colleagues that while you’re a gifted student, you stir up trouble.”

You watched your phone ring for the umpteenth time. The name of the restaurant popping up, Millie’s name, Joel’s name, Mary’s name. A text from each of them in quick succession.

But you were numb, still seated in the chair across from the desk in the classroom. The sun had set already, the warm lights of the lampposts scattered around the campus the only source. The door still resolutely closed after your professor had left after delivering his two choices for you.

Scrambling as if waking up from a dream, you rushed through the campus and made your way to work.

“Use your safety words!” You shouted, disguising the rising of your voice at the sharp sting of the knife blade slicing through your skin in the heated words. You watched as the slice from the knife turned white before the cells caught up and blood began to bead, spilling from it quickly. The cutting board became stained, and blood made a sticky webbed pattern of splatter on the blade.

“I said behind, it’s not my fault you didn’t hear me!” The new guy had the audacity to raise his voice back at you. His face contorting into something ugly as he dropped the façade of keeping his cool.

“I would’ve heard you if you did say it!” You snarled as you whipped around, the towel normally kept tucked at your hip wrapped tight around your hand. Blood blossomed through the fabric almost immediately. You brandished it at the man. “This wouldn’t have happened if you had proper etiquette!” 

“Don’t blame me for not knowing what the hell you’re doing!”

You took a step toward him, good hand about to fly out and grip the front of his shirt. But you were stopped by the sound of the office door opening. Joel Miller filled out the doorway completely, his broad shoulders nearly brushing each side and it would be so easy a reach for him to touch the top of it. He glared around the kitchen, eyes hardening when they landed on the sight of you clutching a towel to a bleeding hand.

You had snuck in the day before, after the stressful interaction with your professor. The restaurant had been too busy to steal away any time with him and you were gone before he had been able to step outside of the kitchen. Overwhelmed and on autopilot for most of the night as the words of your professor echoed in your mind. You had texted him a perfunctory message, saying you had a migraine and would see him the next day and then proceeded to call Nia and vent to her over two bottles of wine that had been too sweet for your empty stomach.

You had snuck in today too, knowing he had to make an order before service started. This was your first time seeing him directly in nearly three days.

“What’s with all the hollerin’?” His eyes were hard, the brown of them dark as he took in the scene, the emotion and tension in the air. The sight of you worked up and a snarl pulling up one corner of your lips.

Before you could even open your mouth, the new guy was speaking in a mocking tone.

“Little miss bartender herself, chef.”

“I wouldn’t have if you had used your fucking safety words.” The words were low, vicious as your patience wore thin. You didn’t need this, especially not today. It had been hard enough to get into the headspace for work, let alone show up, and now you’re injured because some asshole thought he didn’t need to let people know where he was at as he moved around the kitchen space.

The already silent kitchen seemed to grow even more quiet at the harsh words that had fallen from your mouth. Taken aback by the breaking of your normally cool and collected demeanor, in face of the attack all those weeks ago, this was the only instance where you showed your raw emotions. Joel had taken a few steps from the doorway and began to make his way toward your station. His feet stilled when you spoke, the way you did so giving him pause. The manner in which the words had fallen from you stoked real worry deep in his chest. You never raised your voice, let alone spit words out in such a heated way.

Save for that one time you ripped him a new one about his inappropriate behavior when you had first started helping out in his kitchen. You were always polite and professional, cordial and jovial with those you were on closer terms with. This….this was foreign and it had warning bells going off in his head immediately. He hadn’t even seen you slink into the kitchen, the last concrete contact he had with you about maybe being late for work.

He was about to say something, to break up the confrontation when the new guy decided to dig his heels in and make an even bigger mess out of the situation. Joel noticed the way you didn’t step back as the younger man’s features morphed into a cocky grin and he took a step closer to you, getting into your personal space.

“You knew I was behind you, sweetie, you always have an eye on me and push that nice ass out toward me. Don’t play dumb. I know you like what you see. Too bad I don’t waste my time on pathetic, easy girls like you.”

The silence in the kitchen was deafening, the tension thick as everyone stopped what they were working on and watched you two stare each other down. It was no secret he hadn’t made any friends in the three weeks he had been here, too full of himself for people to want to talk to him. From the glares being aimed at him now, the feelings of ire flowing from everyone else in the kitchen. Joel felt the nerve in his jaw jump as he accessed the scene alongside everyone. He wanted to step in, but he felt frozen on the spot, his emotions a whirlwind inside of him and his anger making his mind blank out.

“Fuck this.”

His words stung, as much as you wish they didn’t. The entire week taking its toll on you and culminating  into an overwhelming tidal wave that finally crested and made an impact. You felt angry, hot tears prick at your eyes. You hated that they were visible in the fluorescent lights of the kitchen and that everyone could see the shine of them as you felt your face heat up. That Joel could see them when you frantically glanced around the room, trying to keep them at bay.

A smug grin on the man’s face was the last thing you saw before you turned on your heel and walked out the back door. You let it slam behind you as you walked past the dumpsters and the recycling bins lined up along the back of the building and some of fence that lined the back lot for employee parking.

Digging the keys out from underneath your apron, you unhooked them from your belt loop and unlocked your car. You didn’t look back when you heard the door open, just hopped into the driver’s seat and drove off from the restaurant.

The waiting room was crowded with screaming children and crying babies. An assault on your already overwhelmed senses. At the sight of blood dripping down the length of your arm, a nurse at the front desk hopped up from her chair and tended to you before taking your information and telling you to wait for a room to get stitches. That it would be wait, they were busy. You nodded, taking your injured hand and pride and settled into a vinyl chair with silent tears trailing down your cheeks.

Alone.

Always alone.

Fighting for the smallest things, always fighting, always trying, always pushing yourself.

Seemingly for no reason.

Everyone had someone, waiting with them, waiting for them. But your apartment was empty, your friends at work. No text sent out to let them know what had happened because it would be hours before anyone saw it. Evening, before you would inevitably return to wallow in the confines of your own apartment to nurse your bruised ego and aching heart.

I think I need some space, I’m sorry.

The woosh of the message sending was lost in the sounds of the waiting room. A couple close by, whispering to each other. Looked like the guy had broken his arm, holding it tight to his body. The girl fussing over him in a way you wish someone would pay attention to you. Joel was…he was great. When not at work, when in your own little bubble of connection and creation together. But he was an absent texter, would call and leave messages on your phone during class times, but they were mostly silence followed by a huff before the dial tone.

You weren’t sure what that was about. He had far more going on in his life. A restaurant to run, family in town, family out of town, an old business he kept up with, friends he would see on a semi-regular basis.

But you?

Alone. No family nearby or in general. Nothing but school that seemed to have been a giant mistake to continue. A job field you hadn’t wanted to return to. A man who could only seem to give you half of himself when not at work. Different personal spaces and paces of life, shared moments that always came to an end far too soon only to be swept under the rug when clocked in.

And it hurt, dammit.

He didn’t respond. And you hadn’t expected him to. It was service hours, after all.

It hurt, even as your heart pleaded at you to give him a call and ask him to come sit with you.

You called the manager as you turned into your apartment complex parking lot. The gate squeaking as it closed behind your truck. The hospital had seen you in three hours, the tirage taking a while despite actively bleeding. But you had shiny new stitches that stretched from the top of your left index finger knuckle to the middle of your palm in a painful way, twelve all in all.

You explained to her that you didn’t want to file any complaints or for workers comp but would need the week off to get stitches and let the injury heal a bit before you handled anything confidently. She agreed to pay you for the missed shifts, not taking it out of your PTO as they hadn’t had any issues with your attendance in the year you had worked there. You thanked her and apologized for any inconvenience once again.

You ignored the sound of a car pulling up along the curb outside the gate, used to random people parking around to get to the concert hall a few blocks away or a visitor for one of the other many apartment buildings lining both sides of the street.

“Just…expect to be taken off of prep. Chef doesn’t take lightly to people who bail, you know that.”

“Heard, see ya in a week.”

You were just out of the shower, having tried to keep your injury out of the spray of the hot water. You had asked them not to wrap it up as you got discharged, telling them you were going to shower the second you got home. They sent home the appropriate dressings and instructions on how to keep it all clean and avoid infection.  You were comfy in a large T-shirt with some hiking graphics on the back of it and a pair of boy shorts, just stepping into your slippers when there was a knock on your door.

You sauntered over to it, tired from the day and a little loopy from the cortisone shot they had given you at the hospital. When you pulled the door open you were greeted by the large figure of Joel. The crown of curls around his head lit up from a light post further down by the curb.

“Wh-why are you here?” You let your shock show in the slight parting of your lips, the heavy exhale at the image of the man you were yearning for displayed right in front of you. As if you had summoned him with thoughts alone.

“You got hurt,” He shuffled on his feet, bringing a hand up to rub at the back of his neck as he looked at the visible stitches on your left hand. His other one held a large paper bag, but you were more focused on the nervous energy he was exhibiting. As if he was worried he wasn’t supposed to be here, knew he wasn’t supposed to be here and hadn’t been able to keep away. You had been holding it close to your chest, not wanting to accidently knock it on anything as you walked around. “Wanted to check on ya.”

“I told you I needed some space.” You moved to begin swinging the door shut but his free hand shot out and stopped the motion easily, thick fingers and wide palm spanning the wood.

“I came to check on you.” He said with a little more force, reminiscent of him being in the kitchen as calling for hands or for dishes right that fucking second. When you didn’t move or say anything he cleared his throat and talked on, softer now. “Brought you some food. Your stomach is prolly turning from havin’ nothing in it when they gave you the shots needed for stitches. I know you might not be hungry or able to eat but it’ll be there for you when you want it.”

“How-“ You found yourself stepping back as he advanced into the doorway and then a few paces into the apartment. The front door opened up directly into the living room, the kitchen just beyond it, separated by a breakfast bar and the small doors that kept the washer and dryer hidden. He set a hefty paper bag on the couch underneath the window beside the door. The scent of greasy Chinese food made your stomach gurgle to life and your mouth water.

“Used to be a contractor, seen my fair share of bad injuries. There was a lot of blood left on the cutting board, just figured.” He looked around over the top of your head and took in the colorful but controlled palette of your belongings before his gaze landed back on you. Reading something in the space you couldn’t quite figure out. “Didn’t get a text from you, but if you really want me to, I’ll leave right this second.”

Your eyes softened, seeing how earnest he was. All you could do was shake your head, heart thudding in your chest at the realization that your text hadn’t been sent. A silent thank you to shitty hospital cell service.

The sound of the door shutting and locking behind him was the beginning of a quiet evening curled up on the couch with him and whispered words of comfort against your temple as his moustache tickled against your skin.

The shattering of glass was loud, jolting you from your sleeping position curled up in front of Joel, his arms around you and his legs tangled with your own. He was up on his feet in seconds, telling you to stay in the bedroom while he cautiously peered into the small living room. He shuffled on his feet as Sweet Pea came hurling into the room, puffed up as big as she could get, eyes blown out. She jumped atop the bed and you watched Joel’s back disappear in what little light from the street lamps filtered in through your sheer curtains and thick blinds.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Joel was hollering, the bat you had set aside just outside the bedroom door all those weeks ago still there. He grabbed a hold of it and you could hear him swinging, making contact with something metallic. The crack of the wood was loud, making you jump to your feet and you scrambled to get your phone from where it was buried in the sheets.

There was a yelp, followed by the crunching of glass and harsh breathing. The operator was calmly trying to get your attention, hearing the commotion from the other side of the line as you had put it on speaker. The sounds of heavy thuds on the metal stairs outside rattled the walls and your dizzy head. Joel seemed to have followed them, a second set of steps sounding right behind the first.

“Ma’am, are you safe? What’s going on?”

“B-break in, someone broke into my apartment.”

“Is the person still there?”

The line was silent as she waited for an answer, the heavy footsteps of someone coming back up toward the apartment startled you. Hands flailing to catch Sweet Pea as she jumped into your arms. The phone clattered to the hardwood floor.

“Ma’am? Are you still there? Are you okay?”

“My-my boyfriend is-“ You bent down to pick it up, cuddling the small creature close to your chest as she shook in your arms. Joel walked back into the room then, blood smeared on the bat and sporting a gash to his cheek. “He scared them off.”

“Ma’am, I’m sending a police car, what’s your address?”

Joel took over the situation as they arrived, meeting them down at the gate. He walked them through the event, told them the car he had seen the guy rush to and then sped off in. The glimpses of dirty blonde hair underneath a cap, the sound of his voice reminiscent of the one he had protected you from at a bar all that time ago. Of the open investigations you both had over the encounter at his restaurant.

They seemed to take all the crumbs and piece them together, saying it was most likely a stalking situation and you had dropped the mug of tea you had just made at the word. It had been advised that a car were to patrol the street on a more regular basis, but ultimately that you should stay with someone for a while, until things calmed down and your window was repaired.

Hours later, as the sky began to lighten from the deep blue of nightfall to the pastel oranges of early morning, you and Joel found yourself tucked back into bed and curled up with each other. Shielding each other from the rest of the world.

“You gonna tell me what happened at your meeting?” Joel’s voice was careful as he regarded you across the cab of his own truck. He was driving toward his house just outside the downtown area. A suburb that hadn’t felt the effects of gentrification that had so many others had fallen into. It was quant and cozy, neighbors friendly with each other after living there for so long. A good home for his daughters as he raised one and then adopted the other in their teens, sharing the safe place he had crafted for one daughter with another who had never known such a thing. A kind and caring man, now offering to take care of you in the wake of your personal space feeling tainted.

Sweet pea was in your lap, curled up in your crossed legs, preventing Joel from being able to rest a hand atop your thigh while he drove, both hands firmly on the steering wheel. He had been stealing glances your way since you both loaded up, along with three packed bags. Two for you and one for the small cat, with the promise to get her a little box after dropping her off.

Your demeanor shifted from relaxed and boneless in his passenger seat to rigid, shoulders pulling taught as you sat as straight as you could, lower back aching with the pressure after having sat for so long in cheap, hard waiting room chairs the night before. The hot sensation of embarrassment and shame bubbled up your chest to your throat, preventing words even if you had them.

You shook your head, focused on the world passing by in a blur outside the window.

He seemed to realize it was the wrong moment, to have asked such a thing from you because one of his hands was reaching over and tangling with your own.

“That’s okay, whenever you’re ready, yeah?” He chewed on his bottom lip, coming to a stop at a red light. “Or even not at all, okay, if you don’t want. Whatever you need, baby, I’m gonna try my best, alright?”

You nodded, not able to meet his earnest stare, you both startled when a horn honked behind his truck, urging him to drive through the now green light.

“I’m here for you, you gotta know that. Even if you don’t ask me.” He spoke as he turned into a quiet neighborhood, just outside the bustle of the city. A suburb that reminded you of the one you grew up in, the one you hadn’t been back home to in a decade. Wasn’t welcome back to in wake of family drama and endless fighting.

“Did you know my dad got remarried when I was young?”

“No, darlin’, I didn’t.” He said softly, unaware of why this was what you decided to tell him. But he listened all the same, as he parked in a clear drive and helped you down out of the passenger side of the truck. Making sure that Sweet Pea was cuddled tight to you and safely ushered through the doorway into his home.

“She didn’t like me, the woman my dad had been dating. Said…said I was so smart it was blinding. That I’d never find a man who would want to be with me because I always intimidated people. Too independent, too heavy to attract anyone, too much of all the wrong things.”

You stood in the threshold of the living room, watching as your small cat explored the new space. With a cautious curiosity, as if worried about hidden threats behind every corner. Chirping as she went, looking back at you every few minutes to make sure you hadn’t abandoned her.

“I don’t know who this woman is, but she’s wrong, darlin’. She had no business telling you those things at such a young age.”

“If only she could see me now,” You scoffed as your stitches throbbed underneath thick bandages, pain dulled but breaking through the medicine you needed to take once again. “Got a stalker who won’t leave me alone and a professor who deals in ultimatums.”

The bags he still held dropped to the floor and he was suddenly in front of you, his hands on your shoulders as he gave you all of his attention.

Your eyes met his and the words came tumbling out in a rush.

“I was so stupid to think that she was just spewing bullshit, because she’s right. Smart mouth getting me in trouble, getting me into situations where I’m sleeping with my goddamn boss, barely scraping by for a degree that doesn’t mean anything now. He’s-he’s going to tell the entire board that I’m trouble and they’re both right. I always mess everything up, it’s why I’m alone. Can’t disappoint people who aren’t in your life, right?”

You chuckled wetly, face hot and hands shaking as Joel carefully took them in his own.

“Hey,” Joel’s voice was firm, his eyes focused as he brought you to his chest and held you. “Don’t go saying any of that alright. She’s not right. She don’t know you, what you made of yourself. It doesn’t matter what she thinks, what matters is how you feel.”

“I feel like she’s right, she got my dad to believe her. Haven’t spoken to him since I moved out at eighteen. But not from their house, I had been dumped with my grandparents because she wanted kids of her own and it was either space for me or space for them.

A-and it feels like all the hard work I spent years focusing on is all up to a man who has all the power. The ability to spin this entire situation to his needs and wants, to protect those in his care. Everyone has someone looking out for them, helping them, guiding them. But…but, I don’t…I don’t have anyone…”

Your breathing was slow and deep. Controlled as you calmly spiraled, mania from the past few days winding down into a resolute conclusion of bitter acceptance for the things that have happened and taking the blame for them because there was nowhere else to place it.

“You have me,” Your name was a plea on his lips and all you could do was cling to him as he pulled you into his chest. It was easy to fall into him, but you pulled away just as quickly as you had reached out. For his warmth and reassurance, his kind words that you didn’t deserve. “You have me, okay?”

“You-you’re my boss. And he was right, told me I’m just a messy girl who likes to play hard to get. That’s why he’s going to tell the entire board that I’m unfit for the internship, that I’m trouble to have in class, a risk that shouldn’t be considered. A waste of potential crumbling because I’m too self-righteous and tried to stand up for myself in that bar.”

“Look. No, you look at me and hear me okay.” He grasped your shoulders again and pivoted you from where you had begun to turn your attention away from him, feeling utterly hollowed out and bared for him to see all the ugliness you hid inside the beneath your skin and bones. All laid out for him to pick through like a predator to find the best parts and take take take what he wanted. But it was all rotten, it was all tainted, turned. Bad.

“I will file the appropriate paperwork in both our files, have Mary look it over and sign as a witness, stating that we are in a consensual relationship. That there were no contingencies of promised payment, position, or promotion regarding the development of it. I swear to you, baby, I will do it. To show you that it’s important to me, that you’re important to me. That this isn’t just some fling.”

“I was so close,” Your voice broke, hoarse and tapered off into a sound that didn’t sit right in your ears. It was startling how foreign it sounded. As if the woman speaking was someone else and not yourself, feeling small and childish and helpless as you watched your bags get taken from a car and placed around you by a woman smiling brightly and a man who wouldn’t look directly at you. Spoken words of, ‘this is for the best’.

“I was so close.” The woman repeated, and you felt your knees give as the weight of her words hit you and your vision faded out.

This is for the best.

previous chapter || next chapter

dividers by the lovely @/saradika / saradika-graphics

[dndadspolls]

Hello there ! I'm Aether (it/its) ! You can find me on my main, @justablah56 I just thought it'd be fun to have dndads specific polls, so why not do it myself ?

this post will be constantly updating , so if you want to keep up with what's happening make sure to check in here every once in a while !

all current poll information will be above the cut, and then general rules and mechanics for this blog will be below

the current poll is most iconic duo :]

Current Round : Round 3

Ron and NPC Beth May vs Lark and Sparrow

Francis and his gun vs Ron and Mr. Mustache vs Walter and Paeden

each poll will have 3 days of submissions, then 1 day before the first round starts, and then each round will last a day . after the poll finishes I'll reblog with the winner , then the next day there'll be another poll to pick the next competition and so on and so forth :3

in general , I try to have the polls start around 3pm MST , and submissions always end at midnight , also MST .

poll submissions are always open , so if at any time you have a poll you'd think would be fun feel free to send it in !

any poll we've done previously is fair game , there are quite literally no limits for what polls you can submit , so send in your ideas !

current poll submissions :

aroallo

ace

best Lincoln fact

best Taylor fact

best Jodie fact

favorite s2 episode

favorite catch phrase

favorite s1 episode

best ship name

autism swag (rerun)

most iconic duo

most functional marriage

favorite nationality/decent headcanon

favorite disability headcanon

favorite intro

best peachyville character

trans swag (rerun)

favorite non-poly niche/unpopular ship

kiddads’ favourite bands/artists

s2 teens’ favourite bands/artists

s1 dads’ favourite bands/artists

favorite character

best Henry Fact (rerun)

favorite ship (rerun)

favorite mental illness headcanon

#1 death

favorite s1 quote

favorite s2 quote

favorite s3 quote

bisexual swag

who's Normal's dad ???

trans swag (rerun)

worst shipname

favorite headcanon (Tony's dads version)

if any poll submission gets less than 5 votes in the poll to pick our next competition , it will get moved to the bottom of the list :]

we've also got a small list of mini polls! these polls for the most part will just be a single round with no more than 7 competitors. depending on the poll there may or may not be a day for submissions.

who's Normal's dad?

favorite Mat pc

favorite Will pc

favorite Freddy pc

favorite Beth pc

propaganda is 100% welcome ! feel free to send an ask or bribe via art requests, and if you make a post just tag me and I'll reblog it here tagged with " *poll* propaganda" if your propaganda is in a reblog , make sure you write it on the post rather than the tags if you want it reblogged here !

I don't just post polls on this acc ! I also reblog fanart , fandom events , and other polls including dndads characters! for fanart I use the tags "not a poll" and "fanart" , for events I use "fandom events" , and for other polls I use the tag "not my polls" , so if either of those are things you don't want to see , feel free to block those tags :]

Previous polls (as of our come back in February ! )

best Normal Fact : ep29 - he is the most published author in the teen high fanfiction tag on ao3

favorite headcanon : Taylors sword cane is his mobility aid for his balance issues that come and go

best Glenn fact : Glenn still considers himself married to Morgan even though she's dead

best npc : Terry Jr Stampler

best non-song intro: ep27 - Glenn and Ron on shark tank for the elevator button

funniest npc name : Sexcallibur Horsepower

favorite character headcanon: Taylor's sword cane is a mobility aid

best s1 arc : going through Ron's memories/Ron's anchor

favorite niche/unpopular ship : polywagon (Normal x Taylor x Lincoln x Scary)

biggest saddest eyes : Dood

best Daryl fact : ep16 - his favorite part of being a father is when babies wake up confused until they see you and smile (this is also Matt’s favorite part of being a father)

favorite gender/sexuality headcanon : closeted gay Tony Collete

best Scary fact : ep??? - she once punched a hole in the wall and blamed it on Terry's plant

favorite song intro : s2 ep37 - the all star parody

favorite poly ship : Lincoln x Hermie x Normal x Scary x Taylor (polywagon)

coolest npc name : Sexcalibur Horsepower

funniest guess for Will's middle name : William [beep noise] Campos

favorite quote : "Goblin on DEEZ NUTS!!!" - Glenn Close

funniest potential s3 Freddy pc : tie between really old Fanny Mothman and Jimmy Wong

favorite crackship : NPC Beth May x David Boreanaz

biggest third wheel : Jodie Foster

most functional marriage : Ron and Samantha

if you want to know who won what before the hiatus , you can find those here !

if you have any questions about the blog in general or anything else , feel free to send in an ask and I'll do my best to answer it !

[prod-ddeonu]

TIGHTY WHITIES | p.js

episode 4: tick, tick, boom.

pairing: college! Jay x fem! reader

CW/TW: enemies to lovers, smau, angst, fluff, smut, horrible comedy, slice of life, jay gets exposed BAD, kys jokes, assault, drinking, mentions of bullying and anger issues, arguing, they're both pretty bad in this one but Jay def took the cake

synopsis: You and Park Jongseong have been enemies for years. Heck, the two of you grew up picking fights with each other. A hateful war of tricks and deceit turns from bad to worse, however, when you finally trump him. Nobody can come back from having a photo of themself in tighty whities sent to the entire school, right?

status: ongoing!

taglist: open! (fill out the google form to be added! your user should be tagged on the masterlist and the next chapter after you submit!)

word count: 1.08k

You were simply sitting down and enjoying a nice relaxing moment in the quad, watching the water spill from the fountain. Sure, the world may have been on fire behind you, but you just wanted to watch the water droplets soar downwards.

A harsh set of footsteps land beside you. You already knew who it was by the way his feet stomped down. He cleared his throat once, loudly.

You twisted your neck to look at him, your eyes meeting his. The cockiness in your stare may have only served to boil his blood, you thought, but anyone in your position would have their ego boosted.

You'd just won a war that had gone on for fifteen long years. Since the day you were six and truly felt that hatred tear through your tiny heart for the first time, the two of you had been in a constant game of cat and mouse.

Jay was going to a sold-out movie with his friends? You used a burner email to tell him his purchase hadn't gone through, and that his card was frozen due to fraudulent activity.

Jay was going to a restaurant with his friends? You called the owner, posing as another restaurant owner, to kindly inform him of a man named Jay that would send back countless meals till he had hundreds of dollars worth of food for free.

These methods may have been on the more cruel side, but Jay never took a blow silently. No, Jay would strike back with even more force, it seems.

Jay had once catfished a very popular BELIFT University student athelete as you and proceeded to make the entire baseball team hate you.

Jay had also posted your phone number on numerous social media platforms, telling the world to call the number for ridiculously cheap resale tickets to a concert.

Although everyone watching this game considered it a prank war, you knew it was so much more. Everyone else looking from the outside in only saw your plans blow up in Jay's face, or vice versa.

Only you could see the hatred in Jay's eyes when he looked at you. You'd catch him glaring at you during the day, his once dark brown eyes glowing with the fire burning behind his pupils. You could see the scowl he'd bite back when you passed him on campus, almost as if it pained him to just be near you.

Likewise, only Jay was able to interpret the evil behind your burning stares. Only Jay was able to feel the goosebumps forming on his arms from the slick of your slimy, fake, forced smiles. The only time he'd ever seen you genuinely smile since first grade was when he ate shit, and you knew that.

Jay's shadow loomed over your body. "Y/N, can we talk?"

You smiled at him. "Sure, Jay, what's up?" You cheerily harped.

He took one look at you before rolling his eyes, tongue pushing against his cheek. "Don't give me that happy-go-lucky shit," Jay scoffed and shook his head. His hand raked through his dark hair. "I know you're hiding your cocky ass smirk behind that smile."

"Oh, but, Jay," You slightly dropped your smile, "I'm extremely happy at the moment. I feel as though I've accomplished a life goal, y'know?"

His stare turned from angry to furious.

Jay was now standing in front of you, his phone shoved into your face. "Explain what the fuck this is," he growled. Before you was the exact photo you'd stolen from his mom's old Facebook, and your ultimate trump card.

"Jay!" You feigned bashfulness. "I didn't think we knew each other well enough for you to expose yourself to me like this! Oh, my eyes!"

He grew increasingly frustrated with your sarcasm, you could see it. The only thing that gave you close to the same dopamine effect as ruining his day was lighting the very short fuse attached to his time-bomb temper.

Tick.

"Fucking hell, Y/N, can you be goddamn serious for once? This is too fucking far!" Jay shouted, turning the heads of bystanders.

You cocked a brow, mirroring his own habit. "Your own mom posted that photo, Jay. Anyone could already see it. I just brought it to the crowd you knew," you shrugged.

He looked up to the sky and let out a dark, gutteral laugh. "My God. My fucking God," he mumbled. "You're so insufferable, fuck! You do this shit all the time, and for what? To make my day worse? Do you get off to making everyone else miserable?"

"I don't make everyone else miserable. Just you."

Tick.

By now, numerous people had gathered with their phones in their hands. Most were recording, you figured.

"No, Y/N! You make everyone's lives suck. You and this petty bullshit you pull daily, nobody fucking likes it. Nobody likes you, Y/N," Jay pointed at her with his index finger, his phone long forgotten in the other hand.

You stood up, closing the distance further between the two of you. Your noses could almost touch if you leaned in.

You scoffed at him this time. "Oh, please, Jay. You're so obsessed with me, it's like you're in love with me or something"

Boom.

Jay looked at you with a glare that could melt metal. If looks could kill, the entire country would have become an entire crater that that instant.

"I wish your old friends would've bullied you worse, maybe then you wouldn't have become the aggravating piece of shit you are now."

You were physically taken aback. Your breath caught in your throat as your eyes lost their iron-hot touch. You brought your hand to your mouth in shock.

The crowd around you murmered. "Did he really just say that?" One girl whispered behind you.

Jay's own look shifted from anger to guilt as the weight of his own words hit him.

"I didn't mean that," he quickly said. "I am so sorry, I didn't-"

You smiled back at him. "No, Jay, I get it. I really do," you backed away. "I started it. I- I crossed the line first, I get it."

Jay went to apologize again, but you walked away before he could. Jay could only look at the ground in a mixture of shock and shame as you walked away, swallowing your nausea and pain back down into the depths of your body.

notes: yea jay and y/n def said some stuff they can't take back 😭

BACK | MASTERLIST | NEXT

tags: @deobitifull @eladandan @rikakhairana-blog @igotkkaebsonged

[nsfwitchy2]

Your point about a lot of people being terminated for being bullies is so legit though. I see so many posta about people being "wrongfully" terminated and I immediately recognize them as users who launch harassment campaigns, make callout posts, and constantly suicide bait people. A lot of them explicitly say that people should be sexually assaulted, bombed, murdered, etc.

And I'm sure a lot of them were terminated for other reasons, because harassment goes pretty unchecked on this site, but there's also a good number who were probably terminated for their genuinely terrible behavior. Then I see their followers losing their minds over staff's supposedly being biased and I just don't get why their fave Big Name Blogger™ is the exception to tumblr's behavior policies.

I….. am gonna be super careful about how I word this tbh because I don’t disagree but I don’t wanna fully agree either, since I’m sort of caught between a rock and a hard place here with this comment.

Like…. Ok. I tend to stick to my own little corner here, and I curate my corner VERY heavily. So I don’t see a lot of that, and therefore I cannot comment on if the majority of the people who have been terminated deserved it or not.

I CAN say, that there are at least 2-3 users I know of who have been terminated repeatedly who frame/have had their terminations framed as being transphobic - when I have personally seen them bullying other users, inciting harassment, picking fights, etc. In which case, yeah, I think maybe your termination was justified.

But I also know that…. I do not know most of the people who have been terminated. So if other people are saying “this person was terminated for no reason” - I don’t have evidence to the contrary, and I will believe that that person probably did not break TOS and was most likely a victim of a mass reporting campaign.

I WILL say though, and I think this is the most glaring issue personally, that there are still a lot of like. Open bigots and bullies on tumblr who still incite harassment and violence and spread misinformation - who still have their blogs. Yes if you’re using your blog to be a bully and incite harassment and violence, your blog should be taken away, regardless of gender. If you can’t play nicely with your toys, don’t be surprised when you can’t play with them at all anymore. HOWEVER, it is NOT a good fucking look that it’s still predominately transfems being terminated.

Which is why, like I said, I think a lot of these bigots have just found like. The easiest to exploit loophole ever to get what they want. That’s why their blogs are still up. Because they’re better at organizing than we are, hate is a uniter after all, so they can make mass report attacks way easier. Whereas most of their blogs probably get like… one, two reports probably. Not nearly as many as the ones they’re submitting. So staff has to, essentially, choose between - what to them looks like a small kitchen fire vs a burning forest.

[noxale]

Why people like "Ascension" from a psychological point of view.

\N: A message from me, the post itself starts with the word "START". Hi, It's not my post and it's not my words. But I think it would be helpful to understand it. I can see how the situation already seems better (?) maybe I just don't go on reddit. But I feel like this post just still needs to be. From myself I want to say thank you to all neutral, calm players and just those who have fun. Thank you Ascension scares\dont like a lot of people, but people aren't picking it because they want dom-sex (not the only reason for sure) and haven't understood anything "character theme" with their head. Things are different, complicated and there can't be just one theme. Everyone has their own emotions and life experiences. Stephen Rooney didn't dictate the character's theme like in class. Also, the BG3 game is positioned "...or make chaos in the world, you decide", "Great paths of evil". Hi's neutral Author to both endings. Evil and Good - you play hero or villain. Here's how I understand it.

layered and complex. For example: Poetic justice for neutral evil, in an evil way it is evil, and still complex (not black and white). Power (just any power) corrupts, ambition as Jupiter - dangerously. Freedom is nice, permissiveness - not so much (but this game is all nice).

But that's not what we're talking about. Here's a little essay, (a little emotional, but emotions are like that) why people do "Ascension" from a psychological point of view. START\\\

You know what, i wrote this "little" essay and decided to leave in some treads on Asc Astarion, because I got triggered and annoyed by this drama enough to feel like i need to share some thoughts about toxic vampire love thing in name of education for everyone. If you like it, feel free to repost it anywhere you want. (\\\N: which I do)

So, what this dark romance fantasy is about for me personally, (even though i prefer spawn romance, i absolutely understand the appeal of asc Astarion because honestly, i was all about this kind of romance during my childhood and teenage years, hardocore the Phantom of the Opera girl is here, inside your head) and why it's also healing route for some players, and no, it's not about kinky vampiric banging.

1) A lot of people feel extremely worthless and insecure, lonely, like no one really cares for them at all. It's a very deep wound that hurts and it's difficult to overcome even in perfectly loving, healthy and supportive relationship with a good partner, and even with therapy. So fantasy about a vampire, being obsessed with you so much that he is ready to do absolutely anything just to be with you for forever is really comforting. Also, you don't have to think too much about your imperfections, because for him you like a center of his vampire heart. Besides, you sympathise with him - it's like a selfcomfort mirror, i love this monster despite everything, so in a way, i accept myself despite any flaws i see in me. 2) Safety. When the world around you feel like a wilderness, full of monsters, it feels like only the most terrifying loving monster can protect you from it. He is powerful and protective, and i am so precious to him, that he will set the world on fire just so i would be safe. 3) Responsibility. As you may see, this kind of relationship have daddy issues vibes and codependency, and in real life, you can't just fully submit safely to anyone, I don't think i have to explain why it's a dangerous idea to seek this kind of relationships in real life. You have to stay a grown up independent person and seek safety for yourself without expecting someone to come and heal all your wounds. But this is fantasy, so finally you can use this as a comfort fantasy with no fear about being taking advantage of, without shame to be called childish and etc. 4) Independence. Spawn ending is very terrifying for anyone who has issues with feeling safe and independent, because some of us prefer violent power fantasies over "we have each other and that's all that matters", second of all, this ending also has some shady co-dependency undertone to it that can be triggering for some people. I love Spawn Astarion a little bit more more than Asc and yet my heart stayed absolutely broken after running away from the sun scene, and i hate that he is so dependent on Tav. Larian owes me some emotional refund after this.

5) SA trauma: it wasn't even seen as possibility for healing way by writer, but it is for some. Asc Astarion feels like he is the most powerful creature in the world, and he is fully controlling everything that happens between him and Tav, so finally, it's a kind of situation where there is no chance of him being abused again. It's one of the reasons why some people become Doms in BDSM-dynamic relationships: finally, full control of the process and a partner, who trusts then enough to fully submit, trust issues is also big deal in Astarion story of healing. I find idea that that only Subs can enjoy Asc Astarion a little bit naive. Because, well, some news for you: Doms like it too because they understand why he is so eager to be a top :D Unrealistic, not the healthiest way? Probably! But this man and this love is not real anyway. Yes, i think many of us, especially folks who went through therapy and a lot of self-reflecting are already aware that it's basically romanticized version of narcissistic obsession and in real life this is creepy, but it's not real, it's a fantasy. People use BDSM to heal, romance books and all other forms of art to deal with their inner demons and it's absolutely normal. Even if someone is blind to see what is wrong with Asc Astarion, I highly doubt that toxic bucket of shame and aggression are able to help see anyone problematic side of things. Do you know who is usually up to romanticize toxic dynamic in romance? Victims of abuse. In real life, if you just scream and yell at any poor girl/boy/whatever about how stupid they are for believing that their abusive partner really loves them, people will either break down and cry or tell you to f!ck off and they will have every right to do so, but they won't see what's wrong with their partner,in whom quite often victims of abuse see their only source of love and safety in life. Hells, I am so sick and tired from this "white cloak knight saviour from cycle of abuse" toxic flood in this fandom. If you really want to educate people - do it with extreme care and compassion. Real life healing is not working like it's with Astarion in the game,few right dialogs and boom, dude is on the right path. It takes enormous amount of patience and love, be kind to one another, and stay safe, darlings. Being toxic on Asc fans you are not helping anyone, you just hitting your superiority complex button in your ---. To heal others with their lethal dose of poison, it's hilarious /Sorry for the wall of text, sorry for grammar, English is not my first language/

\N: That's it. I hope this essay makes someone realize that those who choose Asc also have deep feelings, thoughts, and personal experiences in life. They have the right to think differently deep than most about video game, history, and any art. And discussing the canon to in different ways. It's Dark Fantasy, complex topics. So especially The Canon. I am enjoy learning new, different opinions. Also I hope this helps anyone who has felt uncomfortable with the toxic wave. I'm going to try very hard not to look at the responses to this post for my personal calmness. All the Best\

[cafeleningrad]

If it's not to late for the ask game:💚💖💔 for Revolutionary girl Utena. (And if you want ofc)

This show is a never ending opportunity to talk about so the asks will be perfectly on time any time. Thank you a lot for the questions! (/≧▽≦)/ 💚 What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character? That would Tokiko. The fandom barely talks about her, if they acknowledge their existence at all - which is in itself perfectly ironic for the Black Rose Arc finale. I've got many, so many thoughts on the limited yet incredibly revealing screen time of Tokiko, Nemuro before he became Mikage Souji, and the Chida Mamiya. But I will keep it brief at their actual, very human story being essential for explaining what psychological issues are determining the logic of Ohtori, and Akio as it's center of gravity. Tokiko appearing, and being the only person Akio can not intimidate or impress is my favourite moment about accepting past pain, and a life outside of Ohtori.

(And I guess for other two favourites Wakaba and Nanami, I think the fandom is pretty spot on about them (also high five to every Wakaba fan out her, love my onion girl 🧅🤎)) (And yeah, maybe some fans are a bit too kind on Saionji. This boy is physically mistreating others for his compensation. On the other hand, I'm a big Theon Greyjoy fan. For both characters the deeply complicated childhood friendship, patheticness-to-likeability-ratio, and gender-struggle make them overcomepnsate in the most dickhead ways parallels are just too close for me to overlook them....)

As usual, writing about this show got way too long, so the rest is under the cut. ;)

💖 What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series? two things 1. This show thrives on accepting ambiguity and plurality all at once. The itself perfectly blends all it's aspects and inspirations together. Analysis of the text is a beautiful kaleidoscope. I do think a bit more of interest for the Japanese, especially the time and Japanese popculture context helps understanding why certain characters are the way they are could be useful. (By example: Juri's distant yet poised demeanour in a male environment reflect the tough position for women trying to survive in a male dominated field, or Nanami's and Kozue's incestuous tendencies corresponding to a prominent shoujo trope of the time, or what it means for Akio to take on his fiancée's last name, or Jur/iori's ashamed perception of lesbian love and desire as impure is combating questionable Class-S tropes). Still, I think different readings of gender, queerness, but also depression, maturity, childism, machismo in facism, Greek theater, colour theory, literary analysis of fairy tales, German literary influences, theater, power dynamics and also personal thoughts of escj viwer don't exclude other. Instead they link to each other, help understand one aspect a bit better, maybe are in conflict, or support each other. Even if I might not agree a 100% with every reading or interpretation, the thoughts of many other fans have helped me seeing different aspects in different lights.

2. Lesbianism didn't save anyone. I know most "gay gals winning"-claims are jokes. However it does irritate me a bit because the show works really hard against gender essentialism. It understands really well how love, and mature, good relationships works - even within same sex couples. There is a lot to untangle here but in order to not jump to 99 tangents at once: Princehood is not only misogyny. It's an entire mindset of egocentrism, and a power hierarchy needing over people to submit so a single person can climb on their backs. Such renders every relationship to a disproportionate exchange of values - not loving the actual person. At the pinnacle of it nothing matters more than an individual being uncritically revered, untouchable, unconditionally be loved without having to risk anything. If homsexuality was such an easy cure Touga, Saionji, Shiori and Juri... wouldn't be like that. They might even quit the show the moment Shiori said sorry, or Saionji returned at Ohtori. Them being all stuck in princehood mentality means seeing relationships as exhange of value, domination and submission as only possible form of intimacy, yet honest feelings and hurt are incredibly dangerous to reveal. They've a bleak outlook into the future, and mostly care about themselves before they actually care about the other. (Even though from all people Saionji might be the most caring for Touga... this boy is such a trainwreck...) This is why it takes Anthy and Utena 39 episodes and movie to flirt and finally kiss each other because they needed to mature and overcome the fears into which they were conditioned. Their vulnerability of loving has hurt them before: Anthy gave her all to Dios just to have her most intimate spheres in every sense getting violated. Utena lost the unconditional love of her parents, and her trust and intimacy got badly betrayed by Akio. However, they dare risk experiencing such pain again for the other. Opening up, daring to believe in something better, believing in the kindness and connection Ohtori so vehemently denies... there might be the chance of an miracle, actually.

(Don't get me wrong, it is a very queer show so it also tears down the pitfalls of heteronormativity. A prince needs a princess to showcase prowess and simultaneously own someone they can rob of power, relationships are just functions. Unlearning patriarchy means learning anew what personhood and what love is. Love is also the preservation and respect for the personhood of another person. i.e. it's basically Erich Fromm but without his fraud understanding of gender...) Again, SKU is incomplete with only one partial reading.

I don't mean it as "love that transcends gender", and "it doesn't need a label" way. No, Anthy is suffering under very real abuse whereas also bearing a heavily symbolic if not allegorical role. Meaning, reconciling with Anthy, Utena does reconcile with her struggles about being a woman. Utena is by design queer as it already is her starting point that whatever is considered "normal" not making intrinsic sense to her.

💔 If you had to remove one major character from the series, who would you choose? Ooof that's a tough one. The entire cast represent different arguments and issues of the Ohtori system, even side characters like Keiko and Tsuwabuki become relevant. Let alone main characters... (And I'm of the very strong opinion that a good story utilizes every character perfectly. Without even a terrible character there would be no plot. Which is to say we have to keep Akio if we want a plot... ) Even when dead, Touga is a necessary foil as self-aware ideal of princehood... I know Nanami only appears once in the manga but what would the story be without one of the best characters ever created for TV?

Alright, I've to choose: Evne though Miki and Kozue are my Rosetta stones to Akio's and Anthy's fraud relationship, I think removing Kozue would make for an experiment in deciphering Miki. How quickly would we pick on his deal if her was a prince without princess. After all, Juri and Shiori are the next step in isolation and dehumanisation, and Saionji has actually as many princesses as Wakaba has princes... hmmm... To say, Kozue is my starting point in understanding the arbitrary of gender roles and misleading concepts of innocence. Without her Miki could mislead the audience much more easily...

[asyncmeow]

how shinigami eyes works

first - the short version:

shinigami eyes is a browser extension that uses a fancy list called a bloom filter to identify people who can be considered transphobic or trans-supportive. a bloom filter is a kind of list that lets you check if someone is in the list, without being able to actually know the contents of the list. i go below into how it works, but the short version is Math™️, with a side effect of having false positives - thinking an item is in the list when it really isn't. whenever a social media username is detected (the exact method how depends on the website), it checks the username against that list, and applies some CSS to change the color of the text depending on what list the username is in.

the long version

shinigami eyes can be split into a few parts:

bloom filters

submissions

name highlighting

bloom filters

i'll start with the most complex part - bloom filters. the most common misconception about Shinigami Eyes is this: the filters are not updated in real-time. they are shipped with the extension which had last been updated since november 2022, according to the FF extension site. in other words: nothing marked since then can be seen by anyone other than who marked it. you can see that in the code here, where it loads the bloom filters from a data/[something].dat file included in the extension (but not in the github repo).

the following information about bloom filters is my summarized version of this page.

bloom filters are, in a slightly longer explanation than before, a way to know if an item is *not* in a list with 100% certainty, but there's a false positive rate that grows as more names are added to the list. a bloom filter of a single size is able to handle any number of items in the list, though. there's also the issue that you can't *delete* stuff from a bloom filter - you would need to regenerate it from scratch to do that.

now that the medum-sized explanation of what they are is done, let's go into how they work. a bloom filter is a set of n bits, initially all set to zero. to add items into the filter, you need a few hash functions, in this example i'll use h1, h2, and h3, with n=10. if I wanted to add the text asyncmeow to the list, i would do this: h1("asyncmeow") % n // n = 10, h1(...) % 10 = 9 h2("asyncmeow") % n // n = 10, h2(...) % 10 = 5 h3("asyncmeow") % n // n = 10, h3(...) % 10 = 8

after that, i have a list that looks like this (keep in mind that the list is zero-indexed):

[0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 1, 0, 0, 1, 1]

you can then check if something is in the filter by running the same hashing functions and checking if the result bits are set in the filter. you can access the bloom filters used for shinigami eyes by going to about:debugging#/runtime/this-firefox in Firefox and clicking "Inspect" on Shinigami Eyes, then running bloomFilters in the console. as this could possibly change in an update, i don't want to go into how they are set up, and i haven't dug enough into how their bloom filter code works well enough to say anyways.

submissions

submissions on shinigami eyes are encrypted (as in - encryption separate from HTTPS), then posted to https://shini-api.xyz/submit-vote. you can see the code for this here. when you right click someone to mark them, their name is stored in the local data of your browser in an overrides property.

name highlighting

name highlighting is done by checking them against the bloom filters and your local overrides. if a user is present in either bloom filter, or present in your local overrides, they are marked accordingly. not much to it from there.

that's really it, i think? feel free to ask if you have any questions! nya :3