#(if the readmore is broken for anyone im so so sorry)

[plague-of-insomnia]

what kind of accents do you think the cast has? im a dub main for various reasons (one of my friends had a reading/memory disability so i ended up watching dub w them) so im kinda used to everyones dub accents.

but bards defo got an american accent right? (not in the dub, but im thinking manga terms?)

and ik soma & agni have barely a trace of an accent but does that mean they sound basically british?

and does finny have a german accent? sieglinde? diedrich?

idk food for thought?

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

(Sorry it’s been a rough couple days and I didn’t realize I hadn’t published this yet.)

Hey anon… so I’m a bit confused as to if you’re asking about the Japanese accents in the various anime, the English dub accents (or some other dub), or just my thoughts on what their various accents would be like based on the manga and independent of the anime.

Now I have only watched Kuro in English bc that’s the only thing that was available/that’s available on what I have at the moment (though I’m finally getting the blu rays for BoM and BoA so I’m hoping they’ll have the Japanese to try that out for once), so I can’t make judgements based on that. (And I’m not a good one to ask about Japanese accents anyway, lol.)

I also favor dubs bc of my disability. I love hearing the Japanese but it can be hard for me to follow sometimes, and even english alone without captions I can struggle with (please fix this, CR!!! Grr), so I feel you there.

Also not sure which characters you had in mind with this ask (other than the ones you specifically mentioned). Since kuro has so many, I guess I’ll just focus on a few. I want to make clear I am American and Latine, so I am not an expert on British regional accents by any stretch, or the historical accents of the Victorian period, so I’ll just do my best. Some may be partly inspired by how the characters are written in Japanese, since there’s a bit more… complexity to the Japanese language in regards to things like formality, rudeness, etc, that may not convert into English when translated in writing.

This is a long post so I’ll use a readmore to keep it a bit less chaotic. Below the break I’ve broken down my hypotheses on how some of the major players might talk:

Sebastian

As a high-ranking servant who regularly interacts with the nobility, Sebastian would have a high-class accent, and it is reflected in how his Japanese (and even his English) is written. It is a fairly neutral, polite manner of speaking. I’m sure the Victorians probably had a term for this accent (a high-class servant accent), but if they did, I don’t know it lol.

Ciel

Most nobles like him would be educated in a public school like Weston, like his father was, and those schools taught a standard accent that often varied slightly from school to school. So everyone who went to Weston would have a similar manner of speech. Ciel has been “home schooled” his entire life, aside from a short time at Weston for the investigation, so his accent might have been slightly different than his father’s. Nevertheless, especially under Sebastian’s tutelage, he would have learned how to speak properly (if he didn’t already). Still, unless Sebastian intentionally had him learn the Weston/public school accent, anyone who speaks to him would know he did not go to school, but was taught by tutors/governesses instead.

Bard

Yes, Bard is American despite his dub accent. We don’t know where he’s from exactly, but we can assume it was probably somewhere west of the Mississippi (that’s about 1/3 of the way west if you’re looking at the US map, going east to West, if you’re not familiar with our Geography).

I say that bc the river was the first real demarcation of the frontier. It’s likely he was living somewhere like Texas or Oklahoma. Ofc where he’s from would affect his accent, but I imagine it as a kind of cross between a more neutral southern midwestern accent (“no accent”) and a subtle Texas or OK one. Which that’s hard to explain unless you really know regional US accents, bc most of Texas doesn’t sound like most people think it does. The accents really change depending on what part of the state you’re in, since it’s such a big place. But basically not too heavy an accent but a bit lazy, definitely coarse and brutish since he was a soldier and a farmer. Lots of slang and not big on politeness. (Which he definitely is in Japanese.)

Mey Rin

She’s interesting because she’s one of the few characters who has a couple different ways of speaking. She has her “maid” voice and her “assassin” voice. The first one stutters a lot and uses imperfect grammar, as reflected in the English translation when she repeats things, like “I’m not one to talk badly about my betters, I am.” The second does not have this quirk. Not sure if the first is meant as an affectation as part of her idea of what a maid is, or if she just has such a divide he her personality/personas that she speaks differently when she’s wielding a gun. Since that wasn’t really mentioned in her subarc, I doubt we’ll get an explanation. We do know she was likely a child of immigrants from China, but not whether she was born there or in England before she was orphaned. But it is unlikely she has any hint of a Chinese accent since she was orphaned so young. She definitely has more of a working class accent, especially when compared to someone like Sebastian.

Finny

I had momentarily forgotten that Finny didn’t speak English when he first came to the manor. It’s likely that he would have had some kind of German accent, but I expect that Sebastian would have drilled it out of him, considering how strict he was with Sieglinde and Wolf, and Ciel didn’t blink an eye.

Finny’s accent in English never struck me as particularly high class, either in the manga or anime, but in one of the recent chapters, Theo makes a point to compliment his “upper-class accent.” It does seem highly probable that Sebastian played a hand in how he speaks, since he probably was the one who taught him English.

However, the fact that it came up in this sub arc could indicate his way of speaking is significant, somehow tying into what’s going on with Undertaker and the orphanage. Either way, his accent is apparently closer to Ciel than Mey.

Snake

Snake is tricky, because he almost never speaks as himself (I’m still not 100% sure what pronoun he would use for himself in Japanese, and even he doesn’t seem sure lol). He speaks via his snakes, and they all have different ways of speaking (which I think the dub does a decent job of, personally). So I can’t really say, but for the most part I would probably say his accent(s) would be closer to working-class, but he might have gotten some lessons on speaking from Sebastian, since, as a footman, he would have been expected to speak at a higher-class level than other, below-stairs servants would.

Undertaker

Like Mey, UT has two manners of speaking. He has his “humble old undertaker” accent, which is Cockney-esque (I don’t wanna do a disservice by saying it IS that), definitely a lower class accent. Then he has his “revealed” voice, or how he speaks after he reveals himself on the Campania. I have not read this arc in Japanese so I cannot base this judgement on how this shift is portrayed by Yana, only based on the translation. But it definitely seems to be a higher-class accent than the other one. It’s likely that it’s his “real” accent, while the other is part of his cover persona. However, we don’t know anything about him or his background from when he was alive, or even how old he is. For all we know, that accent could be an affectation too.

Agni & Soma

I know their dub accents annoy a lot of people, since Yana specifically mentions how they don’t have an Indian accent. I expect both of them would speak with a British accent, probably something close to how Ciel speaks, most likely, since Soma would have been educated by tutors and Agni probably was as well, since he came from a very high-caste family. I would expect that if their dub accents has been closer to Yana’s intent, they would sound more like Hakim in the dub of the anime Emma. That’s how I imagine them, anyway.

Sieglinde & Wolfram

I expect both would have German accents when they speak English, especially Wolf. Sieglinde might do a better job of working to improve and lose it, but I don’t think Wolf would, partly because of his animosity toward Sebastian. I like to imagine he sounds like Hans in the English dub of the anime Emma, and I really hope we eventually get the Green Witch Arc animated and dubbed so we can get a hot German English accent 🥺.

Diedrich

Dee, on the other hand, I think would not have a German accent in English, especially not in the present. I think he probably was educated in English before he went to Weston, likely by a private tutor, probably someone British, and then when he went there would have acclimated to the public school assent there. So probably he would sound like Vincent did, but I expect he’d throw in some German every now and then, especially when he gets irritated, lol.

Lau

Lau is originally from China, and his accent (as far as I know?) has never been remarked upon in the manga. We also know nothing about his background except that he rose quickly and at a young age to be head of Quin-Bang. I would assume that he speaks English very well, and the only hint at his origin that I’m aware of in the Japanese is the kanji (character) for the pronoun “I” he uses, though he doesn’t pronounce it as it’s normally done in Japanese nor does he with a Chinese pronunciation. I would take this to mean he probably has little if any hint of a Chinese accent when he speaks English, and since he keeps company with nobles and was able to pass as a doctor, he likely speaks in a high-class accent.

I hope that satisfied, anon. This was a fun and different ask. I apologize I didn’t publish it sooner.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

do you think we should forgive people who havw hurt us? even if they aren't sorry or even aware of the hurt theyve caused? you dont hava to respond to this if you dont want to , but i am just thinking, is it actually wise to let specific people exist in my life , (a parent) when they are delusionally unaware of the lifelong damage theyve caused me (and will never understand), or anyone really. Is there a point in.. getting angry, when they oncr again show that they really dont know or care. Still, i enjoy talking to them. So im thinking that maybe forgiving would be better . but i feel like that way i might be gaslighting myself. Have you ever read anything on this?

there is a good book on this anon, "adult children of emotionally immature parents", u can read it online for free if u google the PDF. it is monumentally eye opening. other than that, i can speak from my own experience w/ my parents. i'll put it under readmore cus im bout to get a lil personal;

so, basically, i have one parent, my mom, because my dad has been dead for over 15 years. my parents were alcoholics who worked full time dead end jobs and we never had a close relationship, but i was closer to my dad. when he died, my mom absolutely lost her mind, like, maybe this is dramatic but i do pretty much consider myself an orphan because in 2006 i lost both of them. my mom chose booze, despite the fact that it made her act completely volatile and disturbed, she chose the liquor over me n my sister. my sister is an extrovert and she started spending All her time at other ppl's houses so i was constantly alone with my mom. the emotional abuse she dealt me after my dad's death i think are the wounds within me that truly can never be healed. worse than having to watch him die. my mother would berate me for everything i did, my appearance, the fact i was flunking school, my friends, and most of all, she would always remind me that i am a bad daughter who doesn't love her enough. once i started w the suicide attempts her abuse and guilt trips only got worse. i made a lot of reckless decisions just trying to get away from her. i still feel immeasuable guilt that she is my only living parent but i can't be her daughter. i havent seen her in 3 years..

now that the context is out of the way, here's how i feel about forgiveness: you HAVE to forgive. you have to. for your own sake. to free yourself. for me, when im so so belligerently angry at my mom, i imagine her as a child. i think of her childhood where she was born to a 16 y/o polish ww2 orphan girl and a 17 y/o fatherless boy who had already been thru several detention camps + was forced to join the navy to avoid jail time. i think of the stories she'd tell me from her childhood where she constantly moved from trailer park to trailer park, the caretaker of her 3 younger sisters while her parents worked, her dad often disappearing for months at a time w no explanation, her mother in and out of psych wards. she's always casually bringing up how her parents would beat her if the trailer wasn't spotless when they got home. she was mercilessly bullied at school for being poor so she's never had many friends. she never got any education and has worked retail/cashier positions her whole life. she had to watch her husband slowly waste away, then go right back to work so we could just barely afford to eat. i think of all these factors and it's so so easy to forgive her, despite it all. like if i could reach into her chest and grab her heart and pour all of the forgiveness inside of me into her body just so she could feel happy and light for one single day, i would do it. we are all so broken and forgiveness is the only way we can ever put things back together.

that being said anon...i still have an immensely hard time talking to her. every time we talk on the phone she immediately just starts dumping all of her problems onto me, like how she used to do when i was a kid and she was drunk. she refuses to acknowledge she could ever possibly benefit from therapy. she can't even begin to acknowlege the ways she hurt and abused me. she is deeply, deeply emotionally immature. when i talk to her it rly feels like im talking to a severely damaged child. our conversations are short. i dont tell her anything about my life, i never have. we'll never be close, i've accepted it. sometimes i have days where i'm so angry at her that im ready to send myself to the psych ward over it. but the damage is done, it cant be taken back, only moving forward. and at the end of the day, i forgive her. and i want her to be ok.

i'm not sure what's happened to you with your parent anon, but just know, you can forgive from afar, you don't have to keep engaging with them if they continuously harm you. i really really reccomend reading adult children of emotionally immature parents. its only like 200 pages and you'll fly through it. like i said, available for free as a pdf online. i wish you the best anon and im sorry you have to go thru this but you're not alone. #<333

[boypussydilf]

im free from my fe trance and can think like a normal person tell me about dororo for th character ask game with ummm 8, 21, 27 <3

the joy of numbered ask games is doing an ask game but the agony of them is getting an ask and then you have to go back and fucking check what corresponds to which number and remember which numbers they said and shit

8. Your favorite outfit of them

Perfect question to ask about any sgt frog character let me just *cracks open wiki gallery page* my real favorites might be his little sailor outfit and his pink ranger outfit but the wiki doesn’t have a good picture of the pink ranger outfit and doesn’t have any picture of his sailor outfit and i dont know which episodes theyre in so instead look at his keroro rpg outfit and dororous outfit

^ fuck man i want an aviator cap with goggles and a scarf id look cool as hell. Anyway the dororou outfit ^ kills me bc the weird shit that happens with his hat is confirmed to just be a side effect of getting possessed that happens to anyone (long story that is not relevant to the topic of fun outfits) but like the clothes. Arent. He had to… do that himself. I guess. “Hang on if im going to go insane i should at least be sure i have the right outfit for it. Leather(?) pants, check. Entire fucking cape, check. Shirt that looks like it came from the girl’s section of a Walmart, check.” Does he just HAVE this stuff? This is one of those things where it’s so SPECIFIC that it feels like, well it’s probably just a reference to something that I don’t understand, but i also rarely feel like there’s a non-zero chance that it ISNT a reference to anything and they just like……… Did. that.

21. When do you think they were at their happiest?

I WOULD GUESS PROBABLY THE ONE MONTH TO ONE AND A HALF YEARS (depending on which continuity you’re looking at) IN THE NINJA VILLAGE W KOYUKI. absolutely fascinated by how beautiful it is. apparently almost completely distracted from the fact that none of his team has been looking for him or responded to any of the fucking letters he sent them. has friends maybe? there’s koyuki and in the anime there’s zeroyasha too. everyone in shinobino village knew him which is like … weird and funny to think about …. theres like a hundred or however many people out there in the world who just knew this Little Guy for a while ….. but we don’t know the details of any other relationships like if he was Actually Friends with mukuro or anyone else or whatever. Anyway yeah it was probably that time he was literally like “this place is so beautiful i never want to leave, ever” Sorry dude the village is going to get broken up and then flooded <3 byeeeeee!!!!

27. If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet?

ok the first person i think of is zhaan from farscape. bc like. blue aliens. nature. the sane ones. pacifists but HAVE killed. but in the grand scheme of things shes like low on the list i think.

I vaguely imagined a p5/keroro crossover once. you know how it is. theres a certain level of sworn duty to go “hm i like this thing. what other things that I’ve liked can i smash into it full speed to create a new thing that is an abomination against nature and god.” I didn’t think about it very hard, it’s kind of difficult to think about, what with the two DRASTICALLY different tones of media, but I do think dororo is the one with the best chance of like… actually Getting Along. with any of the phantom thieves. The thieves would probably struggle to trust any of the other frogs, on account of the untrustworthiness. but dororo can be more normal. He and Haru 100% should hang out. God willing. They would have a great time and she wouldn’t even forget about him.

*squints* this post might be long i dont know. you can’t really gauge how long a post is gonna be in post editor on mobile. but it’s probably big. Too bad! No readmore for you suckers! Just be glad i didn’t make it even bigger by going and getting screencaps of the manga chapter that flashes back to dororo & koyukis meeting and has him saying he never wants to leave and stuff like i considered doing! A dororo is an animal that can crawling on the ground. He’s always wanted to fight a tiger. He fought a tiger. One time. The tiger named its child after him. Thanks

[skepsys]

I'd love to know more about your new boy! Does he have any hobbies? What're you're ideas for his backstory? Any scars / tattoos? What's something he likes?

(I apologize if this is too many questions I just like hearing about your ocs and your comics for them ^^)

its okay!!!! sorry for the kinda late response i was just sorta thinking on it... igarin's still vry much a wip so some of this is kinda... handwave-y or vague :')

put under a readmore bc i can never be succinct about ocs zzzzz

hobbies is kind of a funny one bc i ALWAYS struggle with this no matter which ocs it is... i get so wrapped up in making them into a big cool thing and giving them backstory and stuff that i forget about like. the smaller, more 'human' things i guess. that said even before this big turning point thing that happened in his backstory hes always been like...a very logical, science and math-minded kind of person so he probably enjoyed anything that could keep his mind engaged and make him think... various types of puzzles? maybe building/collecting models of various things?

his backstory is so....its still pretty piecemeal at this point but the idea is that he was a scientist, or i guess maybe more specifically an astronomer (and/or physicist?) that was a part of a team researching deep space (as in, dark space where there's little to no galaxies or otherwise recognizable signs of. anything). at the risk of going on a tangent the idea is that in this universe where all my oc stuff takes place, general laws of physics and things are the same as they would be in reality--there's magic, of course, and that has an effect on everything but, y'know. it's Fairly Normal within reasonable parameters.

deep space is, scientifically speaking, Fucked Up and its very well accepted that you just don't stray away from known safe lanes of space travel because in space things get Weird. i've yet to get down the hard specifics, let alone how in-universe researchers might go about categorizing the types of things that have recorded and observed in researching deep space but really Anything can happen, all sort of anomalies and phenomenons and strange creatures and beings that, while they (sentient or not) may not be Malevolent that operate on just a completely different set of rules than 'normal' reality.

(small tangent but just as an example i had another story thread ive never done anything with about a solo space explorer who gets trapped in a similar anomaly and they're stranded because their ship won't start again--not because it's broken but because the laws of physics are fundamentally different in that specific area and the engine physically Could Not work anymore)

anyways oh my god. so igarin and the rest of the group find an Anomaly that theyre trying to study and one thing comes to another and they decide to physically approach it in a ship. there's no way to figure what may or may not happen so theyre all very aware of the risks and that they might not be able to come back...

what winds up happening is the ship seems to vanish off any sorts of sensors or communications or Anything for like. 15 minutes. and then it comes back. there's nothing telling anyone at the team that stayed back that anything went wrong so they send a second group to go and get them, only to find the first ship looks like. completely trashed, and as if it's been a wreck for decades, not a few minutes.

this is kind of the part where it gets a little vague bc im just soo indecisive on what i want to be the root of what happened!!! i know that it's like, this second team makes it onto the first ship and its just. grisly. slimy fleshy infectious looking growths and spores and nasty shit yesss god... the entire crew is dead, subsumed into this writhing mess Except igarin who seems to. more or less coherent and in possession of his mind (if not his wits, having been there for what seemed to him to be more like decades instead of minutes) despite how almost half his body is Also overrun with this strange parasitic thing, though a lot less aggressive and more like. symbiotic than consuming him...?

idk what it is though....! some kind of strange alien fungi, parasite, is it all one singular being, is it sentient or was it just doing what it did as a natural thing that would make sense for it back where it came from...?

they wind up getting him out of there and back home before anything else happens.. his left arm winds up getting amputated and a bunch of his body and internal organs get replaced trying to essentially cut out what is initially seen as some kind of sickness they can get rid of but it just never seems to go away no matter how they treat it; but it also never seems to be causing him problems either, not in pain, physically moving about fine, etc

i guess that kind leads into if he has scars because umm... well after a fashion i suppose he does LOL

i think over time he gets treated less like a friend/solleague that the others are trying to save and more of a research subject which, being a scientist himself he's fine with but over time it gets a lot worse and impersonal, its kinda obvious hes more of a Weird Thing so they wind up uhhh. having a Disagreement and he winds up breaking himself out of there

at this point igarin is like. Dubiously human. visually he looks normal, it's a setting where it's very normal for people to have not only cybernetics but 'unnatural' features so at a glance i dont think most people would look twice at him. this parasite thing though is kinda inextricable from him, not only even his body but like worming into the cybernetics and able to influence those too (idk how to describe this without a drawing and im too tired to do that rn...)

im not sure where hes going from here tbh. there's not really anyone for him to go to about whats happening to him nevermind if there's even anything to possibly do about it. maybe he tries to go back to the place it happens and see if he can figure smth out...? much to think about but this is far too long as it is LOL

if any1 read this far. sweet jesus. sorry but also thanks LMAO

[stygiuscantus]

(This is late but) i ask about ur demon ocs!!

anon i owe u my fucking life

These OCs of mine are part of a story called “The Drift,” with the eponymous hotel as its main location. The Drift exists in the in-between of the demon world and the human world, called the ‘Rift’ by the demons who frequent it. It’s easy to get from the demon world to the human world, but much harder to get from the human world to the demon world. Thus, The Drift exists as a place of refuge for the lost and the weary, for the familiar and unfamiliar, for those with a destination and those without. There are times and places in the human world where the barrier is weaker, and The Drift is (magically) connected to these places, so anyone who enters them will be guaranteed to end up in the lobby. No one is required to stay, nor do the staff pressure anyone do to so. Anyone can come and go as they please, or take a seat for a moment to catch their breathe before going on their way.

Demons exist as long as humans believe that they do. Many demons are created as the manifestation of human concepts; some can be as specific as ‘nature’ or ‘cold,’ or as specific as ‘a skeletal ghost that only appears in the mists in the woods beyond the lake.’ Others demons are created from the spirits of humans who died while near one of the weak spots between worlds, where demonic energy fused with their soul and turned them into a demon.

i’m putting actual charcaters under the cut bc i have Images and they are big so

So let’s start with Althea, the owner and founder of the hotel. She is a spider demon who often works the front counter, because she wants to be very hands-on with working with patrons. She has garnered a reputation of being warm and welcoming and friendly, though she is very secretive with her past and appears to not let people too close to her.

Always at her side is Fennel, head of house cleaning/room service. (Yes, those are their hands.) They are always twisting around like a tornado, always carrying things in their hands as they’re rushing from once place to another. They can be somewhat scatterbrained when it comes to anything except cleaning, as their brain is not as equipped to juggle as much as their hands. Still, their actions always come from a place of good.

In the garden is Ricky, a nature demon based off of the flower of a castor oil plant. She loves and adores her plants, and she has a wide variety of plants and flowers growing in the garden. She also grows all of the hotel’s herbs and dries them herself before giving them to the kitchen. (Needless to say, she overworks herself quite a bit.) She also specializes in the handling and care of poisonous plants, which somehow, patrons get into, despite the clear sign of “POISONOUS: DO NOT TOUCH” (much to Ricky’s endless frustration).

And frequent stay at the hotel is Acayo, a contract demon who is always on the move. Contract demons are the demons that humans can summon, and Acayo is often called up to the surface to make deals with humans. (He’s also based off of the Rhizostoma luteum jellyfish!) Valuing loyalty above all else, he can be a bit stubborn and hard-nosed (to which he’d reply that he doesn’t even have a nose), but is caring and patient to those he cares about.

[sharktoraptor]

Linkeduniverse Daemon AU

So uhh I posted it on the Discord and thought I may as well share here too. I put a lot of work into this one, beware that there’s a LOT of text beneath the cut!

If you’re unfamiliar with daemon AUs (referring to daemons from the His Dark Materials series), the basic concept is that your soul lives outside your body in the form of an animal that represents your personality. There’s a whole lot of character exploration involved in making a daemon AU!

If you’re unfamiliar with Linkeduniverse, it’s a Legend of Zelda AU where all the different incarnations of the hero meet and are on a quest. This daemon AU should be understandable with just a basic working knowledge of what the Legend of Zelda franchise is, this is all character/daemon stuff and no plot!

Again, a whole lot of text incoming. You might want to get comfortable. Enjoy!

Time: Wolf (white/gold)- Faekuri [fay-KYU-ree] (Kuri)

From Farore, fairy, Deku, and Kokiri.

Hyrule: Wolf (brown)- Fernwai [FURHN-why] (Fern, or just Fernwai)

From ‘fernweh’ (German for wanderlust) and fairy.

Twilight: Wolf (dark grey)- Aiyvona [eye-VOE-nuh] (Vona)

From ‘ayna’ (Turkish for mirror), Navi, Fai (Fi), and Ordona.

Warriors: Wolf (light grey)- Audelfi [awe-DEHL-fee]

From ‘audax’ (Latin for bold/reckless), ‘bellum’ (Latin for war), and Fi.

Wild: Field Mouse- Firielore [FEE-ree-uh-lore] (Firi)

From Farore, Fi, and Ciela.

Four: Field Mouse- Emper [EHM-purr] (no nickname, sometimes Em)

From temper, as in to temper a sword.

Sky: Blessed Butterfly- Lydivia [lih-DIH-vee-uh] (Lydi)

From Hylia and ‘divum’ (Latin for heaven/sky/open air).

Legend: Hare- Faistina [FY-stih-nuh] (Fais, rhyms with ‘vice’)

From Farore, ‘aisling’ (Irish for dream), and ‘obstino’ (Latin for persist).

Wind: Seagull- Marumi [mah-ROO-mee] (no nickname, sometimes Umi or Rumi)

From ‘mar/mare’ (Latin for sea), Ruto, and ‘umi’ (Japanese for sea).

The heroes traditionally settle when they first are draw/touch the Master Sword. This is true for Time, Legend, Wild, Warriors, Wind, and Sky (when the sword was completed). It doesn’t matter how old they are when they get the sword- Wild and Wind were both quite young, and Time technically settled when he was 9 years old, just before going into his seven year sleep. The exceptions are:

Twilight- Was already settled when his adventure began, he and his daemon merged upon entering the Twilight realm to create their wolf form.

Hyrule- Settled upon receiving the Triforce of Courage. Of the Links, Hyrule settled the latest in his journey.

Four- Officially settled upon restoring the Four Sword; however his daemon was already close to settling and was a mouse for the vast majority of his first adventure.

~Form Explanations~

A lot of the forms here aren’t necessarily exemplative of the Link’s personalities like a real daemon is, rather more of a symbolic representation of the character.

...Or something I thought would be cute because my city now.

The Wolf Pack (Time, Twilight, Hyrule, and Warriors)

All of these together, because the forms are the same. Because “Link” is the spirit/soul of the hero reborn again and again, it makes sense that there would be some overlap with forms. Each Link is their own person, but having legends of the hero with the wolf daemon as one of the most common depictions of the hero sounds cool and makes sense lore-wise. Right off the bat we have Time as the Heros Shade as the Golden Wolf, and Twilight following him with Wolf Link, the divine beast of the Twili.

Analysis/personality-wise, the form doesn’t fit all four of them as well as I’d like it to, but aspects of it do and like I said, we’re going more Pullman form/lore/symbolic here (not Pullman’s ‘wolves = evil’ though, that sucks). Wolves are hierarchical (Warriors), cooperative (all), social (Twilight, Warriors, the others to lesser extents), hard working and loyal (all), etc. All traits that would fit most of the Links well enough, but I like it for these four especially.

Important note, though: though all of their daemons share the same form, they’re still incredibly different. The differences in color is the first thing they all noticed, but their personalities are their own- not just the “soul of the hero.” That goes for all of them, of course, but it’s especially important for these four.

Mouse Friends (Four and Wild)

My reasons for picking mice for Wild and Four are so, so superficial. The analytic form actually fits both of them somewhat (again in different ways)- some of the core traits are things like independent, adaptable, observant/aware, defensive (physically and emotionally), but here are the real reasons.

Picture this okay. Four shrinks down to the size of a Minish, but his daemon doesn’t (or maybe she does but just a little bit). Now they’re like the same size. He can ride on his daemon and it’s adorable what’s not to like?

I made a big post about my botw daemon AU already here (disregard stuff about the other Links, I made this post before I’d really gotten into LU or any of the other games). Part of it that I don’t think I mentioned is logistics of the way Wild gets around, climbing and paragliding and swimming and stuff. He needs a daemon that is small enough to cling to him and stay safe when he’s doing stunts and shit.

Pink Bunny (Legend)

The Dark World in ALttP picked Legend’s daemon for me… I can’t give him a literal pink bunny though, so I took liberties. He’s much more of a hare personality than a rabbit, with hares being bigger and wilder, more independent, and having coats that change in the winter (get it? Oracle of Seasons, get it?). Not much else to say here, again more so picking a form to match the existing lore rather than doing an in-depth character study for it.

Butterfly in the Sky (Sky)

Alrighty, Sky was kind of hard because of his setting. What I chose eventually for him is the (fictional) Blessed Butterfly from SS, for a few reasons. It makes sense to me that daemons of people in Skyloft have to fit a couple of criteria: 1) small or fast enough at flying to ride a loftwing and 2) only take forms native to the sky, because it’s all they know about. Blessed Butterflies are one of the only animals in the game (according to the wiki- I’ve never played it myself) that are found on the ground and in the sky, so it works symbolically for his character.

I used the Monarch butterfly analysis as reference to make sure it wasn't totally off base, and it works for Sky surprisingly well from what I know about him. They're adaptable and adventurous (as a migrating species), and value group cohesion and teamwork (again because of the migration swarms). Lots of liberties being taken here, but the Blessed Butterflies in game apparently appear mostly in groups, so I'm willing to roll with it.

*Inhale* (Wind)

Wind has a seagull daemon because look. Have you seen Wind. Have you seen a seagull. Yes.

In all seriousness, there are some obvious reasons. Most of Wind’s adventure(s) take place on the ocean, so he needs a form that’s either adapted for that or small enough to fit on a boat, or both. You can literally take control of a seagull in WW.  Plus she can nest on his head like the doves do in Spirit Tracks!

Personality-wise, I’m going to just copy from the ring-billed gull analysis because this one probably fits the best of all the Link’s, analytically. The form is listed as chaotic neutral (I’d say Wind is probably chaotic good but it’s the chaotic here that counts). Seagull souls value social interaction, cooperation, courage, confidence, and duty, and are stressed by lack of control, boredom, lack of purpose, and dishonesty.

~Individual Links and their Daes~

Time and Faekuri

Faekuri settled when Time drew the master sword as a child. He settled the youngest of all the heroes at 9 years old, and she was still settled even when they traveled back in time. Time is bitter about that; another aspect of the childhood he never had, stolen from him.

Before settling, Kuri mostly took forms traditional of the Kokiri ( small woodland creatures and fairies, though fairies are still separate entities). When they set out on their first adventure her repertoire expanded and she took bigger forms, but never left her forest shapes for long. Settling as a wolf was unexpected and jarring for both of them, especially the experience of waking up in an unfamiliar, war torn world in shapes that neither of them knew how to deal with. Going back in time to be a child again didn’t help- Kuri never changed again, and Time had to live with that.

Kuri isn’t quiet, exactly, but she’s not generally conversational. She’s fairly blunt with scolding or encouragement if it’s needed, but if something is important enough for her to talk about, the others listen. However, she’s the most physically affectionate of all the wolf daemons, often nosing at, walking alongside, or even playing/rubbing up against the other wolves. She and Time are usually touching during downtime, but not as openly cuddly with one another as some of the others. With age comes a deep understanding of one another, and that’s enough for them.

Hyrule and Fernwai

Hyrule, by contrast, has one of the oldest settling ages of the Links at around 16. Fernwai’s settled form (which she took when they received the Triforce of Courage) was somewhat of a surprise to them both, but not as shockingly out of left field as it was for Time. It was a form they had taken before, just infrequently. They settled towards the end of their adventures as the Hero, and because they didn’t have to navigate their journey in unfamiliar skin, it feels wholly right and natural to them now. Before she settled, Fernwai preferred bird forms over landbound ones. They knew that the Hero of Time had a wolf form, so they’d tried it before, just in case, but the Hero of Legend didn’t, so maybe it was a one time thing…

Fernwai is a little more pragmatic and cautious than Hyrule, but aside from that, they’re basically the same. She doesn’t often initiate conversation with the others, but is very chatty to Hyrule.  She’s less touchy with the other wolf daemons, though she’s become the most popular perch for the smaller ones while traveling, but she and Hyrule are the most openly affectionate with one another. It’s common to see them sleeping on top of each other, not just next to or touching like most of the others do. Their tight bond comes in part from the lucky timing of their settling; they had time to work through it without much distraction after, while most of the others weren’t so lucky.

Twilight and Aiyvona

Twilight was the only Hero to be settled at the start of his adventure, which he’s sometimes hyperaware of. Aiyvona settled when he turned 15, about a year and a half before meeting Midna. People in Ordon village joked about his being the ‘lone wolf’ of the village, but he was a member of a pack then (the village and the children), and he’s a member of a pack now. It’s always suited them, and it had the bonus of being a good, mobile form for herding.

The Twili don’t have daemons, and the spirit people in the twilight realm don’t either, which is horrifying from Twilight’s perspective. But that’s why when they were taken into the twilight realm, Twilight and Vona’s forms merged into Wolf Link, a combination of both of them. Both of their minds are in Wolf Link and they can both control the form, but they’ve only ever fought for control once, when Vona tried to stop Zelda from sacrificing herself for Midna and Twilight won out, holding her back.

Despite the obvious similarities between Vona and “Wolfie,” the Links that don’t know about their secret haven’t figure it out. It’s a pretty big leap of logic- besides, Wolfie has all those strange markings, and a shackle around their paw. Wolfie doesn’t mind if the others touch them, even if Vona is in there too- it’s a magical form unique to them both, and it’s neither of theirs completely. Vona is as mature as Kuri is, but more talkative with the others, less touchy, and far more willing to tease and rile the younger daemons up. She doesn’t actually talk to Kuri much- the two wolves recognized each other as soon as they met, and they have an unspoken understanding. She talks to Twilight the regular amount, but they don’t need physical contact as much as the others do- they can share a body whenever they want, and nothing feels as close anymore.

Warriors and Audelfi

Audelfi settled when Warriors drew the Master Sword, but she’d been taking a wolf form on and off for some time before that. It was a noble form to take and common among the unsettled soldiers; the legendary form of the Hero. They were both quite happy with the form, though settling in the middle of a conflict is never easy.

Despite her name, Delfi is absolutely Warriors’ voice of reason and caution. It’s not a mostly even split like it is with Hyrule and Fernwai, she got just about all of it and he got almost none. She’s the one to talk him down from his most reckless decisions, or to sit by exasperatedly when she can’t. It’s sometimes caused noticeable friction between them; every rare once in a while it gets so bad that they flat out won’t speak to one another, and Delfi has actually pulled at their bond to try and drag him away from a dangerous situation before. They (obviously) always apologize and make up, but it’s a cycle that keeps repeating.

Delfi sees herself partly as her Hylian’s protector (she’s not entirely wrong), so it took her a while to relax around the other daemons and interact with them instead of Warriors, who was the exact opposite and warmed up to the other Links very quickly. She’s the only daemon that will talk to the other Hylians uninvited, which they don’t mind, exactly, but find a little bit… forward. Her ego is definitely smaller than Warriors, but Delfi was the Greek center of the world, after all.

Wild and Firielore

Wild settled young,  drawing the Master Sword when he was 13. Firi settled as a field mouse, which was a cause for concern at first. Scholars quickly reassured the King that everything was fine; the Hero’s daemon was most often a wolf, yes, but there was at least one other in the ancient texts that took the shape of a mouse.

Wild and Firi have the longest bond distance of all of the Links, because of the painful pulling that they frequently put themselves through as a knight and as Zelda’s guard. Every once in a while she’ll climb a rock or something and Wild will go carefully still, automatically pretending not to be fazed- old habits die hard. Everyone has noticed, but no one brings it up. It’s none of their business, even when any one of them would be doubled over with the pain of the distance while Wild stands outwardly unaffected. Twilight tried talking to him about it once, and Wild didn’t respond but ignored him for the rest of the day, Firi like a statue of a mouse on his shoulder.

Firi is and always has been a quiet daemon, but she got even quieter as the weight of her and Wild’s responsibilities settled over them Pre-Calamity. She never speaks except to Wild, and even then, only softly and occasionally. She’s opened up considerably since their awakening in the Shrine of Resurrection in that she’ll leave Wild’s shoulder and interact with the other daemons for longer and longer periods of time, often riding with Emper on Fernwai’s back during long days of uneventful travel. The others have only heard her voice once or twice, and she always pretends that they haven’t in case they make it a big deal.

(More on Firi pre-LU here)

Four and Emper

Emper settled when Four drew the completed Four Sword during his first journey, but she was taking the mouse form long before that. It was just always who she had been, and it was really a relief to settle, because they’d been wondering why they hadn’t already. Four loves her form for a multitude of reasons- he’s small, and she’s small. She can’t really help in the forge, but she can fit into lots of places that he can’t (when he’s big). She can ride on his shoulder, and when he’s the size of a Minish, he can ride on her back. They’re perfect for one another!

Emper doesn’t shrink when Four does, but she does change when he splits. It’s kind of complicated. There’s not four Empers the same way there’s four Fours, but they each have an aspect of her the same way they do of him. What form that takes I’m unsure of- there aren’t four mouse daemons, though.

Emper is one of the calmer social daemons, just like her Hylian. She's very friendly with all the other daemons, and she was a big part of helping Firi to feel at home in the group (meeting Four and having their form validated was actually very important for her and Wild). It's hard to be super cuddly with a mouse, but she and Four manage. They prefer to communicate silently rather than openly, but they have a healthy combination of both.

Sky and Lydivia

Sky and Lydivia settled later in their journey as well, when Hylia’s blessing completed the transformation of the Master Sword. The people of Skyloft didn’t have as much form variance as they would as the people of Hyrule, because of how deeply ingrained the loftwings were to their culture. Daemons only took shapes that were small enough to ride on a loftwing, be carried, or fly quickly enough to keep up with one; though only the the Goddesses themselves (and by extension all Zeldas) could settle as one of the sacred birds. Lydi always favored the butterfly form, and it was fitting that she settled as something found both in the Sky and on the land beneath the clouds.

Lydi is quiet, because even though her wingspan makes her larger than Firi and Emper, it’s hard for a butterfly to be loud. She does speak sometimes, just very softly, and mostly lets Sky voice her thoughts if she needs him to. It’s not uncommon to see her settled on one of the other’s daemons, either listening to them talk or just being near them for comfort or camaraderie. She’s content to just be, listening to the other Hylians and daemons (who learn what the different movements of her wings mean and include her in conversations when they can) and talking silently to Sky.

Legend and Faistina

Faistina settled when Legend drew the Master Sword, like most of the others, but they already sort of knew. The Dark World reveals your true self, and they had been a rabbit- he feels unspeakably lucky they didn’t settle that way, though he’d never admit it out loud. A hare is a better form, faster, bigger, and more capable. He is not a defenseless rabbit.

When they’re forced into the rabbit form in the Dark World, it’s sort of the same experience that Twilight and Vona have when becoming Wolf Link, except that it’s a weakening and incomplete merging and not an advantage. It’s more like Fais- all of Fais, not just the parts that they always share- is forced into Legend’s mind all at once, and he takes on her base physical traits, but softened; the ears, the fur, the face… it sucks for both of them. He’s so glad they didn’t settle as a rabbit.

Like Hyrule and Fernwai, Legend and Fais have similar base personalities- they just don’t get along as well as they maybe should. It’s not like Warriors, where he and his daemon have spats and then reconcile, more like they have some unresolved things they probably should have talked about long ago but most likely never will. Her form still makes him uncomfortable and self doubtful, and she knows it, though she’s long accepted it herself. Fais interacts with the other daemons in the same way that Legend interacts with the other Links; a little bit needling at times, kind of aloof, but able to see when she’s needed to be serious or kind. Despite their differences she and Legend do love each other, of course they do, but they don’t show their affection as outwardly, instead verbally sparring with one another or sharing exasperated looks at someone else’s expense.

Wind and Marumi

Wind settled when he drew the Master Sword at age 12, young even for a Hero. He’s never had any issue with Marumi’s form; seagull daemons are pretty common on the Great Sea, and he’s happy to represent that. It’s a good form for a sailor and a pirate, as long as she’s perched when the King of Red Lions goes fast, and she can even glide from traincar to traincar to check on passengers and cargo if they’re careful about it. They aren’t upset at how early they were forced to settle, either, except maybe for the fact that Marumi didn’t get to play with forms as much as most kids. Time is bitter about it on Wind’s behalf.

Wind and Marumi are young and have an innocent, open daemon-Hylian bond despite their mature experiences. They’re used to silent communication, because she’s in the air whenever possible and it’s hard for her voice to carry over the roar of the sea and the wind. Marumi helps to serve as the group’s navigator if they’re lost and she and Wind can get up high enough to not stretch their bond too badly (they have a larger than average bond distance, which is helpful for avian forms, but it’s natural and not forced like Wild’s is). She has a good sense of direction and the flight power that Lydi lacks to get a good view of their surroundings.

Marumi loves to talk to the other daemons, and she and Wind have reacclimated fairly well to talking to each other verbally. Sometimes Wind will still yell out non sequiturs to her, though, because they’re used to the one way communicating. She’s not flying that high, and he does not need to yell so loud and startle all eight of his fully armed travel companions, thank you very much. Marumi stays in the air most of the time during the day, but nests in Wind’s lap or hair at night.

~Other Stuff~

- All of the daemons call their Link ‘Link,’ and all the other Links by their title. It’s not as confusing as one would think. Everyone learns the other daemons’ voices very quickly, so that if one shouts out in the heat of battle they can identify who needs help.

- Listening to the daemons talk about their Hylians can be confusing. Not for the daemons themselves, though.

- Most of them know on some level that Legend is unhappy with Fais’ form, they just don’t know why. Sky, Wind, Four, and Wild have tried pep talking him about not having a wolf form, thinking maybe that’s the problem. It’s not.

- They all worry about the extremes to which Wild and Firi push their bond, and how often they do it.

- If they need to split up, the wolf daemons communicate long distance with an agreed upon system of howls. Most of the group is impressed with how quickly Wolfie picks it up too.

[blackwaxidol]

if i delete or kill myself it will be unnoticed this is inarguable fact this is inarguable inarguable you have no means of contradicting it fact i am the lonheliest creature alive right now and i keep asking myself if i am overreacting but i dont even remember the last time i talked to someone or if i did did not represnit

im scared paranoid or angry out of my mind i cant tell. i have ruined everything i have annoyed everyone or at least ifyou are going to berate me about my language at least listen it FEELS this way i feel so so so so lonely it makes me cry i cant react in conversations slike a normal human being incant be atraightforward i cant be not-straightforward because thej nobody listens and he gets mad about it and i hate him and we argue over it and i dont want to live like this. i dont want to live like this! i have nothing or at least i feel that way and i dont know i am strangled at trying to say anything else because he keeps interjecting with such vitriol saying 'dont repeat yourself youve already said it if anyone cared'. why is he so fucking awful. i dont want this. i dont want to sit here crying my fucking eyesnout either. i know i will just have an episode feel fucking stupid and wake up feeling worse and start cryingnagain. i dont know whats wrong with me. please if you feel this way go to therapy before you end up like this just tell a doctor whats wrong. this is so miserable and humiliating and im so fucking embarrassed to be alive.

i have these moments of clarity like maybe right now slightly where i feel normal for a second and i feel rational and like actually it's not awful it's not the end of the world and i can resolve this so i feel normal and happy but it never lasts long enough for me to put into motion writing it all out and fixing it and then i just have these broken pieces of dialogue i don't know what to do with and sometimes i try to resolve it when i'm not able to think clearly and that's the worst thing i can ever do because it all gets worse like it is now i just feel like an idiot.

im sorry. this post is everywhere and nowhere its all over the place with emotion and legibility and how collected i am i just feel better writing it out in one as i feel it and then forgetting it ever happened. i feel better saying it now but it dont think it will last because it never lasts. i dont even remember what or who i was at the start of this post and i dont know if its more disingenuous to try clarifying hat at the start or not. whatever. its my blog and you chose to click readmore. sorry for all of this. im just not very well again and i dont even know how to remove myself from whatever is triggering this right now. i had a hopeful thought of fixing this but i forgot it immediately. im just tired and fear grimacing.

[lavellander]

so back when i had approx zero followers on this blog i made a post comparing solas and atlas (as in the titan) and i wanna bring it up again

BUT also the original layout of the post was ugly and all my extra thoughts are v long so its going in a readmore!! abandon hope all ye who enter here<3

i wanna preface this by saying IF ANYONE WITH A CLASSICS DEGREE WANTS TO STEP IN AND HELP OR CORRECT ME lmao please do!! my degrees are in english not ancient shit!! also i figured someone had already broken down this connection but i couldnt find a post abt it?? google didnt give me anything but if someone's already done this pls link me to it!!

anyway the obvious connection my little gremlin brain made was because atlas was charged with holding up the sky �� not the world! common misconception – and solas's stronghold is literally called skyhold because it's where he held up the sky

(quick thank you to what the water gave me by florence + the machine for planting this little seed of brain rot within me)

and so i was like. im gonna look more up about atlas, maybe theres a specific myth or epic poem or smth that gives me more info idk. and since i wasnt about to buy any new books my results are limited but i found some shit that Fucked Me Up Real Good

GODS, REBELLION, + PUNISHMENT

(here are some of the sources btw these screenshots are months old so idr which goes to what im so sorry)

[ID: A screenshot reading "Atlas and his brother Menoetius sided with the Titans against the Olympians and when the Titans were eventually defeated many of them were confined to Tartarus (a deep abyss used as a dungeon) including Atlas's brother. However, Atlas had a different fate, and Zeus condemned Atlas to stand at the Western edge of Gaia (the Earth) and hold the heavens on his shoulders to prevent the two from resuming their" – the screenshot cuts off here.]

[ID: A screenshot reading "He (Atlas) was the leader of the Titan rebellion against Zeus, and he got a fitting punishment after" – the screenshot cuts off here.]

[ID: A screenshot reading "Atlas and his brother Menoetius sided with the Titans. In time, Atlas even managed to become the leader of the rebellion, but that didn't end up too well for him in the long run, since it got him the most severe punishment after the defeat of the Titans."]

SO. atlas led a rebellion against a pantheon of gods!! HOW INTERESTING :^) wonder who that sounds like. haha!!

[ID: A screenshot reading "The Archivist in the Sundered Hall of the Shattered Library stores the following memory: 'After he held back the sky to imprison the gods, the Dread Wolf disappeared.' Thus Skyhold is the place where the" – the screenshot cuts off here.]

[ID: A screenshot reading "Known as Tarasyl'an Te'las ('the place where the sky is kept' or, more specifically, 'the place where the sky was held back') in ancient elvish, Skyhold is a fortress located in a stretch of the Frostback Mountains near the Dales," – the screenshot cuts off here.]

there are obvious differences here, mainly being that atlas & co lost their fight against the olympians and holding up the sky was atlas's punishment, whereas solas technically won by "holding up" the sky aka creating the veil

this might be my own personal perception of solas and his whole thing but i do feel like the concept of punishment (in various forms) can be seen threading through his character and story. i'm still trying to work this part out in a way that doesn't make it seem like i'm conflating punishment, consequence, and burdensome responsibility lol so putting a pin in it for now!

i'm also interested in any similarities bw tartarus and where the evanuris are kept !!!! they are both called the abyss and are home to fucked up demons and shit!!! but i'll need to do more reading for that

PRIDE / HUBRIS

also, as most bitches who fell victim to this wily bastard, i'm obsessed with the name solas meaning pride?? especially since we know solas is a name he chose for himself at one point?? (i cant find the source rn but if someone has it i would love to include it here!)

i know he says "solas came first," but i'm taking that to mean he as a person came before his role/identity as the dread wolf, not that literally the name solas itself came first. i would LOVE to know when exactly he started calling himself solas, and more importantly the precise reason he decided on that name. like not to be raised catholic on main but one doesn't name themselves after a fucking cardinal sin just because it sounds cool !!!! the man has fucking BAGGAGE

side note – i'm aware that in elvish solas can also mean "to stand tall," but given that...

every single other use of the word or root 'solas' has been translated to mean 'pride'

solas describes himself as prideful on more than one occasion

the fact that his personal quest centers around a fucking pride demon, and

for reasons i'm about to go into

....i think we can assume it's the negative connotation, not the 'standing tall' one.

so, given that i'm already hell deep in greek myth because of the atlas stuff, i'm like yeah let's see what those guys had to say about pride

[ID: A screenshot reading "HYBRIS was the goddess of personified spirit (daimona) of insolence, hubris, violence, reckless pride, arrogance, and outrageous behavior in general. Her Roman name" – the screenshot cuts off.]

[ID: A screenshot reading "In ancient Greek, hubris referred to 'outrage': actions that violated natural order, or which" – the screenshot cuts off.]

[ID: A screenshot reading "like Hesiod and Aeschylus used the word 'hubris' to describe transgressions against the gods."]

LMAO UM? i can't stop thinking about "actions that violated the natural order" and "transgressions against the gods" !!! because solas's WHOLE DEAL is that he did both of those things !!!!!

and while i don't think his core reasons for challenging the evanuris were based in pride, i do think there is also a subtle nuance between pride and hubris? (once again i am not a classical scholar so that may just be me and my misconceptions!)

at any rate, solas DOES see the world he created as a violation of the natural order; the veil itself is a violation of the natural order, which is why he's hellbent on tearing it down. his "transgressions" against the gods – which here i mean to be an 'offense' or 'disobedience,' rather than breaking the law or whatever – are what led to the act that literally altered the fabric of reality. hubris (in its definitions listed here, not just to mean pridefulness) all the way through, start to finish !!

of course much has already been said about solas's association with pride demons. to name a few, the fact that your first boss battle in inquisition is a pride demon, that his friend in his personal quest is corrupted into a pride demon, and this fucking banter between solas and vivienne:

SOLAS: Tell me, Enchanter. Do you even bother to explore the Fade in your dreams? VIVIENNE: I prefer to explore the world I actually live in. SOLAS: Pity. You could be much more powerful if you ventured outside your narrow preconceptions. VIVIENNE: Ah, the temptation to leave the path. You sound like a pride demon. SOLAS: Enchanter, any pride demon you met would just walk away, shaking its head and laughing uncontrollably. VIVIENNE: Oh darling, more than one already has.

also this post by felassan has good points that make me want to yell a lot:

[ID: A screenshot reading "'Solas' means 'pride' in elvish. Solas is wise and friends with spirits of Wisdom. Corrupted spirits of Wisdom are Pride demons. Pride demons have multiple eyes. The black wolf Solas is depicted with on his Tower card has multiple eyes. I don't think these things are coincidences"]

HOWEVER this post is not abt pride demons it is about ATLAS so im going to stop there. the point of bringing up hubris at all was the whole 'violation of natural order' and especially 'transgressions against the gods' so im getting real sidetracked here. moving on

MOUNTAINS + SKYHOLD

this one is more of like a fun little addition rather than anything super in depth BUT in my original googlings i found several sources that mentioned that some myths/interpretations see atlas as a mountain or a mountain range because he was turned to stone after seeing a gorgon head??

mountains!!! as the place/thing that holds back the sky!!!! this is fine!!

but also to quote my original tags:

#thinking of mountains as holding up the heavens is obv not revolutionary lmfao #and certainly not restricted to greek myth or This Fucking Video Game #but! #(shane madej voice) ive connected the dots #let me have this<3

IDK WHAT TO DO W THIS LOL

as with most of my long bullshit posts: i have no idea what to do with this information :~)

like what is The Point™ of having such similar stories!! a god leads a rebellion against a pantheon of other gods and, at the end of it, has to hold up/back the sky???? that can describe either one of them!! even where they differ, i still see similarities – the titans lose and are sentenced away to tartarus, which is described as AN ABYSS!! compared to the evanuris losing and being locked away.......in the abyss................hello. here lies the abyss, the well of all souls, from these emerald waters doth life begin anew??? bye.

anyway the reason i wanted to revive this idea is to see what other ppl had to say about it!! either adding new info or correcting anything i have here or just theorizing!!! would love to hear yalls thots<3

[slashiest-slasher]

😈 poly Billy and Brahms part THREE?? Dat shiz is DELICIOUS.

Sorry this took so long, but heres fucking nearly 4k of mostly porn ( ◜◡＾)っ╰⋃╯(me @ all of you) has some solo brahms, some brahms x billy bj’s, and brahms crying while he fucks you! wow!

readmore cause it’s fucking 4k im not subjecting people to that

In a strange sort of happenstance, things seemingly balancedout in life for you and your boys. Brahms, the brat he is, of course demandedmore and more attention, but what else could you expect from him? And Billy,despite swinging wildly between manic states and lulls of stability, had verylittle to complain about. Or at least you thought he did, it was hard to tellat times.

You could no longer follow the Heelshire’s strict routinethat they had set up. You had already broken quite a few rules, but it reallyhit you in the face when you had to adjust Brahms’ nighttime routine.

Everyone, expectedly, demanded to sleep in your bed,although the bed that Brahms had been slepping in before would be much morefitting. Before Brahms threw a fit and ran away, he would sleep in the masterbedroom and there was little you could do from Billy slipping into your bedafter he had been tucked in.

He tends to cause a ruckus, make unsettling noises, and rubhimself against you in a crude attempt to get you aroused. He moans loudly,jerks himself off regardless of if you join him or not, and spills filth fromhis mouth as he worked his cock over your body. If you let him, he lathes yourbody in kisses, or sucked and moaned around your fingers.

But he never touches you, never crosses the barrier ofpleasuring you until you gave him that look, and say in that low, sultry voiceof your, “C'mere Billy. I want you to be a naughty boy.” And he leaps on thechance to give you what he promised, even though he is usually too shy to do/everything/ he wants.

Throwing Brahms into the mix complicated and simplifiedthings.

Once the three of you become an item (or a situation, as youprefer), Brahms of course moves right into your bed. He demands to be tuckedinto bed and given his goodnight kiss, even if he always ends up kicking offthe covers and wrapping around you the moment you settled yourself in bed. Youhave Brahms on one side, rubbing his face to yours and running his hands alongyour body, and Billy on the others, arms around your waist and face pressedinto your stomach like he didn’t need to breath.

Billy tries to be more courteous at night, taking care ofhimself in the bathroom. But there are nights he crawls into bed and discreetlyworks himself pressed up tight to your body and stuffs his fingers into hismouth to muffle his cries and whines. Brahms huffs and tosses himself to hisother side and presses his hands tight to his ears.

It’s not like you can exactly blame Billy. It isn’t apleasant thing to have such an active and high sex drive and developing suchdeep rooted need to get off before he could even think about sleeping is evenworse. You are working to fix that, but thing are progressing at a snail'space.

Brahms just sees it as more attention Billy is taking awayfrom him.

He thinks he's being so coy when he strips and starts toplay with himself when he knows you will be coming any minute to get him readyfor bed. His nude body is on display for you to view, and he makes sure thathis cock is front and center.

You are focused on the alarm clock in your hands when youwalk in, and don’t immediately see him sprawled on his old bed. “Brahmsy, timefor...” you jerk back when you finally look and see him looking at you withblown eyes, slowly working his cock. His breathing is loud and shaky underneathhis mask. “...bed.”

He says your name, low and grumbling in his chest, watching youintently as you make your way to the side of the bed. Your fingers are hesitantand light when you run them down the side of his masked face, along his jaw,and down his neck. Brahms shakes like a leaf under your touch, pushing up intoyour hand when you let it rest on the crook of his neck.

He says your name again, this time in a desperate whine, andhis strokes become more erratic, smearing his pre-cum that was beading on thetip.

“Brahmsy,” you say, keeping your voice steady. “Go to bed.”You lovingly pet his hair, but you can see the beginnings of irritation on hisface. Before he can growl out your name, you cut him off. “I want you to get up- don’t put your clothes back on. Get up, then go lay down in my bed, and waitfor me until I’m done getting ready. If you’re a good boy, I’ll give you whatyou want."

His breathing had picked up as he listened raptly to eachword coming from your mouth. He almost starts hyperventilating when you leandown and let your lips graze against his ear lobe. "And if you play nicewith Billy, I’ll give you a very special treat.”

You let a hand run down his furry chest before stepping backand running your eyes down his form. When he doesn’t immediately leave, it onlytakes a nod of your head to the door to send him scampering.

Billy’s already in bed, eyes foggy but drowsy. He perks upwhen he sees Brahms come in, but sits up when he sees the state he’s in. Theway oversized t-shirt he wears does absolutely nothing to hide his record-timeerection.

Billy shoves the fingertips of one hand into his mouth,chewing and slobbering on them while Brahms walks up and towers over him. “Wantme to su-suck your f-ffucking juicy cock, pretty Brahmsy?” he says around hisfingers, staring up at him with those big, awful eyes. “I’m going to wrapmuh-my lips around you, a-an-and drink your pretty pink dick up. Let you fuckmy th-throat.” He settles his free hand on Brahms hip, grinning and gigglingaround his fingers.

Brahms doesn’t say anything, but he pushes Billy back ontothe bed and crawls over him, hands on either side of his head. He decides thatBilly isn’t all that bad looking.

He has soft, honey brown hair, pale green eyes, and thispale body hair that barely stands out from his skin. He is bone thin, but youhad been feeding him up and exercising him properly, like you had with Brahmswhen he first came out of the walls. The muscles in his body are becoming moretoned, but covered by a thin layer of fat.

And as much as he loathes to admit it, Billy made him pop uncomfortableboners more often than he would like. Sometimes it makes sense to him, likewhen he would tear off his clothes in a manic fit, or jerking himself off inthe middle of the house.

But there were moments that confuses him, like when Billybashfully let Brahms tie the apron behind him, or when he brushed his hairbehind his ear when handing something to you, or when he was splayed across thebed early in the morning, having finally worn himself out, and the sun stripedhim with golden rays.

He knows not to react or say anything when you walk in,wearing /Brahms'/ pajamas, and sit yourself squarely in an armchair, one legthrown over the armrest.

Billy goes to squeal something, but Brahms reacts quickly byhiking up his shirt, running his hands firmly up his sides. He lets out a high,breathy moan when Brahms circles his nipples with his thumbs. In response,Billy jerks his hips, rubbing his dick along the V of Brahms’ groin.

In a show of surprising strength, Billy wraps his armsaround Brahms’ torso and hold his close, rutting against him. He places aseries of messy kisses to the lips of Brahms’ mask, making the porcelainglisten in the lamp light.

"Fuck me! Fuck me!" Billy yells, jarring andcoarse. His body is a trembling mess, letting out a long, sharp whine."Split me in half with your big fucking cock!"

Brahms jerks back, and hold Billy down the mattress by hiswrists. "You're being naughty," he slips into his childish voice,staring down at Billy's writhing body. "Naughty boys don't get toplay."

"Filthy Billy, filthy nasty Billy," suddenly, hisvoice goes shrill. "Billy! What are you doing to the baby!" His chestis heaving, and he thrashes violently from side to side, trying to loosen hiswrists.

You tense up, and go to jump up. It was oh, so easy forBilly to get too excited, too overwhelmed. Set off by any little thing. "Shhh,you're naughty, not filthy. You're pretty Billy, a very pretty boy."

Billy freezes and looks up with wide, unbelieving eyes."P-pretty?" he asks, voice quiet and soft. "Pretty Brahmsy,th-thinks Billy's pretty?"

"Very. Can I kiss you?" Brahms asks, letting hiswrists go.

Billy nods rapidly, his splaying around his head like ahalo. "K-kiss me, please."

Brahms looks over to you, where you relax down in your seat,before staring back at Billy. He reaches up and removes his mask hesitantly,letting it fall to the carpeted floor. It feels raw and strange, and Brahmswants to duck his head away.

But Billy grabs his cheeks reverently, and drinks in everydetail of Brahms's face before pulling him down.

Brahms tries to keep their kiss deep and slow and burninghot, but Billy can't help but cling tight and make it sloppy, wet, and tooerotic for you to watch.

You're practically swimming in his clothes, so it takes verylittle effort to slide them off.

Brahms hears the click of a lid bottle, and when he glancesover to you out of the corner of his eyes. His breath catches in his throat. Henearly pulls away when he catches your fingers slicked with lubricant, andslipping into yourself. Your face barely changes when they breach your hole,but your eyes are hooded as you watch Brahms and Billy.

Brahms lets his kisses drift away from Billy's mouth. Downhis neck and chest. The laughs Billy makes when his beard brushes against thatsoftened, but still concave, stomach makes his head feel light. Brahms slipsdown between his legs, hoisting them over his shoulders, and kisses the insideof Billy's thighs while he figures out how to tackle the daunting task in frontof him.

It's not like he's ever sucked a dick before. Or had sexwith anyone. Of course, he's jerks himself off, and there was the instance whenhe ran way. You had started holding and touching him in more romantic ways, butnothing ever ventured past over the clothes petting and heady kisses.

His knowledge on straight sex were outdated, but plentifulin the old novels mummy tried hiding from him. But when it came to a man beingwith another man... There was an incident where Malcom had been strong armedinto being a temporary nanny when daddy broke his arm, and he and mummy had tostay in the hospital for a few days.

From the years and years of being the grocery boy, he knewhow to handle things around the house, and Brahms doesn't entirely hatehim. He had made a decent nanny, even if he wasn't warm and loving to the doll.

Brahms had, naturally, riffled through the duffle bag thatwas brought, only taking a pair of dirty boxers and hidden magazine.

A naughty magazine with images of men wrapped aroundeach other, doing such dirty things to each other.

The thought of two men together... It was nothing Brahmsever imagined before and opened up so many doors when he partook in his ownpleasure. He was tempted to trap Malcom, keep him as his own to experimentwith, but he would never do as a proper nanny. Malcom was best as someone whodelivered groceries and took away the trash.

There were some nights, before you, when Brahms was cold andlonely, curled up on himself, that he wished he did so he could have someone tohold against himself. To tell him he was a good boy, and was handsome, and wasloved.

In the particular magazine that he saw a man sucking anotherman's dick. Brahms considered it a plus that unlike you, germs didn't botherhim all too much.

He pokes his tongue out, and gave a tentative lick to theunderside of Billy's dick (which despite his insistence was "big and fat",was an average length and a little on the leaner side).

It is enough to cause Billy to jolt and clasp a hand overhis mouth. It didn't do very much to hide to long, keening shout from rippingout of his throat. It devolved into moans when Brahms closes his lips aroundthe head, pulling Billy's cock into his hot, wet mouth.

Billy's thighs shake and jerk under his hands, while hishands wind tightly in his own hair. He tugs and musses up his already untidyhair while Brahms slowly works his cock. So so so so warm, and Brahms doesn'topen his mouth up wide enough, so whenever his molars graze Billy's sensitiveshaft, his hips jump, and he can't stop the litany of breathless moans fromspilling from his lips.

"Oh, oh, oh oh! Please, please pretty Brahmsy," heonly pauses to take in sharp, gasping breaths, and thrusting hard enough tosend the tip of his dick slipping down Brahm's throat, who gags and groans atthe intrusion. It only eggs Billy on, to fist Brahms' hair and fucking hismouth, his free hand gripping the sheet tightly.

And Brahms, well it stung and made tears well in the cornerof his eyes when Billy uses him like this, too caught up in his own pleasureinduced mania to recognize or care for Brahms' discomfort. But he can see you,three fingers deep, muffling yourself, face flushed, and watching them withsuch focused intent.

And all of that will be his if he can put up with Billybeing a bit rough. Of course, his erection hasn't flagged, and he's smearingpre-cum on the duvet. He doesn't know if it's his favorite, but he consoleshimself that at least he can take some please out of being used. Maybe morethan he is willing to admit.

If Billy was any bigger, it would hurt more, but it's onlythe head of Billy's dick that's forcing its way into his throat.

Well, forcing is a bit too harsh of a word. Brahms had triedhis best to keep his mouth and throat slack when Billy had taken control. Heneeds to be a very, very good boy for you. He needs to stop himself fromthrowing Billy off, not that he wanted to as much anymore, and hold back thetears that threaten to spill down his cheeks from arousing discomfort.

Mummy always disapproved whenever he would cry, no matterthe reason. If he had been scolded, or daddy had spanked him for being naughty,or he had slipped and fallen inside the walls and now his arm was bent at aweird angle. And you had already rolled your eyes and huffed when he would crywhen you were upset with him.

So if you saw him crying now, certainly you would see him asbeing bad, and you would change your mind.

Billy suddenly thrusts up hard, until Brahms’ nose isburrowed into the soft thatch of pubes at the base of his dick. His mouth isopen in a silent scream, but nothing but small, choked sounds come out. Ropeystrands of cum pulse out of his dick and directly down Brahms' throat like whenmummy would force-feed him when he was sick.

And as much as he wants to gag up the warm cum that wasstruggling to settle in his stomach, he wasn't a bad boy. Brahms wants you,badly, and he will do anything for that. Billy sags down and almost melts intothe plush covers and mattress. His eyes flutter shut, but not all the way. Thehand that's in his hair relaxes, and Billy instead uses it to pet the wild messof curls. "You have a wonderful mouth, so, so pink and hot," hegiggled softly and let his hand fall away.

Brahms immediately gets up, and loomed over you. "Iwas good, I played nice. Can I have my reward now?" Even at his fullheight and how demanding he sounds, anxiety crawls through his veins like ants.

"Oh Brahmsy," you gasp when you remove yourfingers. "You were so, so good. A very good boy, and you were so beautifulwith Billy."

A wide grin spreads on his lips when he hears you, and hebounces on his feet, holding his hands behind his back.

"Now go sit down on the edge of the bed for me, andI'll give you your special treat, alright?"

Brahms had never moved faster in his life then he did then,perched and back straight. But it isn't like you were in much of a hurry.

You strut over, wrap your hands around his shoulder, andhold tight when you crawl onto his lap. You can feel his burning member twitchagainst your ass as you slowly grind down on it, relishing in his whimpers andthe desperate look grimacing on his face.

His hands fly to your waist, and pull you down harderagainst him. "Please, I want you so bad," he whines, tuckinghis face next yours. He can't let you see how badly he needs this, although youalready knew as much.

You grab his dick, making his hands squeeze a little bittighter, and line it up with your entrance. "Shhh, don't worry. I'll takecare of your Brahms," you assure in a low voice, slowly sinking down onhim. You had seen his dick dozens of times, you knew how big it was, and yet itstill took you by surprise.

Brahms thrusting up to the hilt as soon as he is in doesn't helpat much. And you want to scold him, but it is such a dizzying rush when hefucks into you like a starving man. He wraps his arms around you, and holds youso close that it is a struggle to pull away to get face to face with him as hefucks you good and deep.

"You're so beautiful," you whisper in awe,ghosting your lips over his. That's also not much of a shocker, but much likehis dick, it also takes you by surprise. Instead of him thrusting too suddenlyhelping, it is his wet eyes and the way he looks at you like he is never goingto see you again.

Brahms lets out a pained sound, and those tears spills downhis face. He goes to hide against your neck, but you cup his cheeks in yourhands. You kiss him, slowly and pouring your heart into it, and Brahms kissedback just as, if not more, intensely.

Though his trusting has stuttered, he still continues on.When you pull away, you stare at him with the sweetest smile he had ever seen."You make me and Billy so, so happy Brahms. I love you so much."

Brahms sobs, loudly, and clutches you tightly against him.He thrusts in a few more time, hard and frantic, letting out little moans frombetween his crying, before going still and filling you with his cum as hebabbles incoherently against your lip. And God, if that doesn't finish you off,you don't know what would have.

Both of you fall back in bed, over a quite content Billy’slegs. Brahms is still holding you and crying, though quieter, and presseskisses to your lips.

You prop yourself up on an elbow, gazing down at him withnothing but love in your eyes, and it only makes the tears come out harder. Youbrush away the tears on the burned side of his face with your thumb. "Ohsweetie, if this was too much for you, you should have told me. We could'vestopped whenever you wanted."

He shakes his head, holding your hand against his cheek, butturns to look away. "I-I-I /wanted/ this, more than anything," hesays quietly, but in his adult voice. "But I don't like it when you lie tome."

"What do you mean?" you ask.

"Loving me. You don't, I know you don't. Not fully. Ifyou love Billy too, how can you love me completely?"

Billy, who had been floating in a state somewhere betweenrest and consciousness, shoots up. "But I love you too, pretty Brahmsy!Both of us loving you makes up for it!"

He cringes when you laugh, but calms down just fine enoughwhen you lean down for a long kiss. "Brahmsy, even though they weren't thebest parents, you still loved both your mom and dad, right? You didn't love oneof the less just because you love the other, right?" When he nods, yougive him another kiss. "It's the same with you and Billy. I love both ofyou, very, very deeply. My love isn't a finite resource."

"Thennn, you have double the love, because I love youtoo," Billy assures, in a higher tone but still his own voice. ThoughBrahms tries to squirm away, Brahms lets him give a kiss. "Because you'reso pretty, and you understand, and I like it when you hold me when I'm being anasty." He rubs his nose against Brahms'.

You smile as you watch them, and get yourself up fromBrahms. You his cum trickles out of you, and as much as that turns you on, youdon't think you could take anymore. "I'm going to go get cleaned up,"leaning over to pick up Brahms' pajamas that you discarded, you can feel himcum leaking out of you and running down your leg.

You clench up and bite your bottom lip at the sensation.Christ, Brahms came /a lot/, more than any other guy you had seen. You swap hispajamas for the tissue he was using to wipe his dick on. "Go get comfy,sweetie."

When you leave, Billy squirms to take up his favoriteposition in the middle of the bed, pulling his shirt down to cover himself.Brahms doesn't bother buttoning up his shirt, instead slips under the coversnext to Billy. He tosses around an idea in his mind for a few moments, beforewrapping himself around Billy like a body pillow.

Billy only freezes up briefly, before aggressively worminghis way closer to Brahms. He lets out a delighted giggle, and slips his handsunder Brahms' shirt and rubs his back. "Warm..." he mutters over andover again, nosing Brahms' furry chest. A large rushing sigh comes out from hismouth as he stops his seemingly unstoppable shivers and sinks into Brahms.

"Kiss?" Brahms asks, struggle not to slip into hischildish voice.

Billy leans his head up, eyes clear and focused and warm ina way Brahms had never seem. He gives Brahms a slow, chaste kiss, beforeburrowing back into his chest again.

He's already lightly snoring by the time you make it back.

You slide in on the opposite side of Billy, but everyone isso close together, Brahms can get his arms around you as well, and press yourforeheads together. You tilt your head slightly to give him another quick kiss."Goodnight Brahmsy," you whisper.

Brahms doesn't say anything, but he squeezes your hand tightly. 

[ogseitai]

im so sorry for being all 2013 anf posting a readmore but i just really need to get some things off my chest and my blogs mostly dead nowadays anyways so hopefully no one even seees it i just need to say it so it stops being in my head

the past 2 years ive just been abused so much by people who were supposed to love me and im just sitting here crying thinking about how i dont want to be friends with anyone ever again because ive been hurt so fucking badly over and over again. i dont want to trust people and i dont want to be vulnerable and i dont want to let anyone get close enough to hurt me ever again and it hurts so bad. it hurts so bad to be alone but i dont feel like i have any other choice anymore. and part of the abuse was being told that i was crazy and sick for thinking id been abused in the first place and being gaslit. ive tried to be so strong for 2+ years now but i think im finally broken for good and i dont know how the fuck i am ever going to heal from this. im not okay anymore and i constantly have to keep my mind occupied so it doesnt go to dark places and all i do anymore is work and sleep so i dont have to think about anything thats happened to me. i dont know how im ever going to be okay again 

[soflsms]

   ( sorry  I'm  late  to  the  party  im  in  pst  so  i  was  at  work  til  now  sdkfjl )  ANYWHO  hi  pals  what  the  h*ck  is  up  !!  im  chloe  ,  im  21  ,  i  use  she / her  pronouns  &  im  a  broke  a$$  geography  major  !!   i  am  SO  excited  to  be  her  &  get  to  rp  with  all  y’all  bc  judging  by  your  apps  skdflj  i  fuck  with  u  all  .  anywho  ill  stop  my  rambling  ,  below  the  readmore  is  stuff  about  sofie  &  some  wcs !!  

trigger  warning  !!  sex  work  ,  deportation  ,  neglect  ,  bad  writing  ,  alcoholism  &  substance  abuse

HAILEY BALDWIN  /  SHE/HER  /  TWENTY TWO  /  BILLIE EILISH VC

welcome to los angeles , sofie almeda ! the glitterati has been watching you . rumour has it you made your first mark in the industry two years ago & that your net worth currently stands at  8m . it seems as though you’re enjoying being a  singer since relocating from  harlem , new york city . some might say you’d be a good fit for the glitterati due to your hollywood ranking being a solid  #3, & it helps that fans speak so highly of your  individualistic & assiduous ways . unfortunately , our sources cite that those closest to you aren’t particularly impressed with your  self-destructive & choleric tendencies .

stats

name  :   sofie sydney almeda

nicknames  :   sof

age  :  twenty - two  .

birthday  :  december  eleventh  .

zodiac  :  sagittarius  .

gender  :  cisfemale  (  though  doesn’t  vibe  with  the  idea  of  being  STRICTLY  a  WoMaN  ,  she  finds  labels  restrictive  )  .

pronouns  :  she    &    her  .

height  :  5 ′ 6 ″  .

hometown  :    recife  ,  brazil  &  harlem  ,  new  york  city  .

nationality  :  american  ,  brazilian  .

ethnicity  :  english  ,  portuguese   .

label(s)  :  the  venereal  ,  the  bellwether  ,  the  opulent  ,   the  anaxiphile   .

occupation  :  singer  (  vc  billie  eilish  )  .  

quirks  :  fidgeting  ,  allergic  to  shellfish  ,  walks  quickly  ,  cracks  knuckles  ,  always  wears  her  lucky  ‘  st  christopher  ’  necklace  from  her  grandmother  ,  has  a  weird  ability  to  talk  herself  out  of  trouble  ,  can  tie  a  cherry  stem  in  her  mouth  ,  messy  emotionally  but  on - point  physically  ,  vvv  bad  driver  ,  loves  a  good  theme  party  ,  can’t  get  through  the  day  without  multiple  cups  of  coffee  ,  refuses  to  wear  glasses  in  public  even  though  she’s  quite  far - sighted  ,  always  carries  hand  sanitizer ,  prefers  rain  over  sunshine  .

background

         her  mother  ,  marcia  almeda  ,  was  a  recent  graduate  from  secondary  school  who  packed  a  backpack  and  went  traveling !! before  long  tho  she  ended  up  knocked  up  by  another  backpacker  ,  this  one  american  ,  while  they  were  having  a  fling  in  sydney  (  hence  sofie’s  middle  name  lmao  @  her  mom’s  humor  )  .  she  flew  back  home  when  she  found  out  &  never  told  sofie’s  father  oops !! so  marcia  had  sofie  at  home  in  recife  just  before  her  nineteenth  birthday  ,  and  marcia  was  enthralled  w  little  sofie  .  ofc  she  inherited  her  mother’s  beauty  (  i  hc  marcia  looks  like  alessandra  ambrosio  bc  hello !  )  &  little  sofie  lived  a  happy  early  childhood  life  in  her  grandparents’  home  in  recife.

         brazil  isn’t  the  safest  of  countries  &  marcia  didn’t  want  the  same  dangers  she  experienced  growing  up  for  her  young  daughter  ,  so  around  sofie’s  eighth  birthday  ,  her  &  her  mother  packed  up  and  went  on  a  ‘ trip  ’  to  new  york  city  .  joke’s  on  sofie  ,  though  -  it  wasn’t  actually  a  trip  ,  but  rly  they  were  trying  to  move  there  to  find  sofie’s  father  to  confirm  his  paternity  and  get  sofie  american  citizenship  .  it  was  proving  more  difficult  than  she  thought  ,  &  marcia  was  quickly  running  out  of  money  .  with  a  face  like  hers  ,  though  ,  making  money  wasn’t  too  difficult  ,  but  it  was  time  consuming  .  marcia  found  herself  escorting  older  men  in  order  to  pay  the  bills  ,  all  the  while  leaving  little  sofie  to  fend  for  herself  .  some  of  her  earliest  memories  are  of  strange  men  in  their  tiny  apartment  &  sofie  trying  to  block  out  their  conversations  with  her  lil  cassette  player  hiding  in  the  corner  of  her  room  .  eventually  ,  marcia  was  able  to  contact  the  father  &  they  set  up  a  meeting  .  sofie  had  gotten  her  hopes  up  that  she  would  finally  have  a  dad  (  she  got  dressed  up  in  her  sunday  best  &  everything  bc  reuniting  her  dad  was  a  BIG  deal  ) ,  but  the  meeting  ended  up  being  a  quick  exchange  of  words  ,  a  mouth  swab  and  a  couple  signatures  .  sofie  never  even  learned  his  name  ,  & this  queued  up  a  lifetime  of  daddy  issues  &  distrust  of  men  !!

        while  marcia  was  able  to  stay  in  america  much  longer  than  she  was  legally  supposed  to  ,  eventually  she  was  facing  deportation  ,  which  meant  lil  sofie  ,  with  her  citizenship  finally  confirmed  ,  was  put  into  the  hands  of  her  father  who  sent  off  to  an  american  boarding  school  in  new  york  without  even  contacting  her  .  she  would  spend  the  summers  in  brazil  with  her  mother  or  ,  as  she  got  older  ,  couch - surfing  with  different  friends  throughout  the  months  .  she  started  growing  apart  from  her  mother  as  she  aged  since  she  wasn’t  going  home  every  summer  since  she  didn’t  rly  feel  any  connection  to  brazil  .  her  grandfather  had  passed  away  &  she  only  has  faint  memories  grandmother  ,  plus  the  city  wasn’t  at  all  familiar  to  her  &  she  wasn’t  practicing  her  portuguese  after  her  mother  returned  to  brazil  .

         through  it  all  ,  music  was  proving  to  be  the  one  constant  in  her  life  she  could  use  to  escape  from  reality  .  she  had  never  done  any  training  or  classes  ,  but  she  just  liked  singing  along  to  whatever  was  on  the  radio  & practicing  on  her  own  .  she  also  found  a  passion ��for  writing  poetry  which  she  later  would  realize  was  compatible  with  music  .  she  would  spend  HOURS  in  the  school  library  working  on  garage  band  lmfao  bc  she  couldn’t  afford  her  own  laptop  to  produce  music  &  her  dad  sent  just  enough  money  as  he  was  legally  supposed  to  .  but  she  worked  her  lil  tushy  off  &  applied  to  a  music  academy  in  nyc  &  was  rejected  the  first  year  (  DEVASTATING  when  mixed  with  her  impostor  syndrome  &  daddy  issues ) but  she  practiced  more  &  more  &  edned  up  getting  accepted  the  next  year  .  here  ,  she  worked  on  her  vocal  skills  &  music  production  ,  &  started  accumulating  her  own  music  &  selling  songs  to  music  producers  on  the  side  for  some  ca$h  money  .  

          by  the  time  she  was  16  the  state  decided  she  was  old  /  mature  enough  to  live  on  her  own  so  she  got  a  TINY  lil  studio  apartment  in  harlem  where  she’d  grown  up  with  her  mum  &  she  had  friends  who  she’d  grown  up  with  .  while  it  wasn’t  the  safest  neighbourhood  statistically  sofie  felt  safe  &  just  like  one  of  the  neighbourhood  kids  .  it  was  the  first  time  she  genuinely  felt  like  she  belonged .

        she  was  accepted  on  full  scholarship  to  nyu  & majored  in  music  composition  &  vocal  performance  where  she  started  finally  feeling  secure  in  herself  &  released  her  own  music  on  soundcloud  ,  quickly  amassing  a  following  &  becoming  an  ‘ up  &  coming ‘  artist  !!  she  was  contacted  by  a  scooter  braun  type  guy  who  was  interested  in  taking  her  on  under  his  management  so  she  dropped  out  of  uni  in  her  2nd  year  (  bc  tbh  her  grades  in  anything  other  than  her  music  classes  were  v  subpar  )  .  soon  enough  producers  wanted  to  work  with  her  &  she  was  making  enough  that  she  didn’t  have  to  sell  her  songs  which  she  hated  doing  but  had  to  pay  the  bills  u  know  .  oh  &  her  vc  is  billie  eilish  bc  ofc  shes  my  queen  go  stream  when  we  all  fall  asleep  where  do  we  go  on  spotify  u  won’t  be  disappointed  

        she  also  started  getting  into  the  partying  scene  here  yikes  !! it  was  a  method  for  her  to  numb  all  her  pain  from  her  past  &  impostor  syndrome  &  drown  all  that  out  in  pills  or  tequila  .  it  rly  wasn’t  healthy  bc  of  how  she  would  binge  for  a  weekend  then  try  to  stay  sober  throughout  the  week  but  failing  by  about  wednesday when  she  started  to  feel  hollow  .  she  wasn’t  gonna  be  a  one  hit  wonder  &  her  mom  sure   as  hell  didn’t  go  through  all  that  trouble  just  for  sofie  to  be  a  nobody  addict  !! so  she  kept  it  together  enough  to  start  making big  bucks  & well  …….  here  she  is  :~)

personality

        sofie  blames  it  on  her  brazilian  heritage  but  this  bitch  loves  a  party  !!  like  shes  the  one  who  gets  happy drunk  at  the  pre  then  is  the  first  on  the  dance  floor  then  later  falls  out  of  the  club  &  into  some  rando’s  bed !!  in  the  back  of  her  mind  she  knows  her  drug  &  alcohol  use  is  self - destructive  but  she  figures  shes  allowed  to  let  loose  sometimes (  even  if  that  ends  up  being  most  nights  )  ;  rly  she’s  just  in  denial  bc  she  doesn’t  want  to  change  her  ways  &  lose  her  identity  !!

        doesn’t  put  labels  on  her  gender  identity  or  sexual orientation  .  she  finds  them  restrictive  &  useless  for  herself  ,  labels  would  only  be  to  satisfy  others  .  she  doesn’t  see  herself  as  110%  female  either  like  she’s  all about  gender  being  a  social  construct  /  a  spectrum  ;  some  days  she’ll  get  dolled  up  &  wear  heavy  makeup  &  six  inch  heels  ,  some  days  she’ll  walk  around  in  a  bun  &  tracksuit  &  trainers  .  anyone  who  asks  abt  it  will  swiftly  get  2  middle  fingers  in  their  face  !! shes  uncontrollable  i  swear

         puts  up  a  tough  bad - ass  front  like  billie  does aksjdh  like  nah  nothing  can  hurt  me  im  bulletproof  !!  but  is  rly  just  kinda  broken  underneath  .  she  doesn’t  even  let  her  closest  friends  know  how  hurting  she  is  bc  she  doesn’t  wanna  burden  them  .  she  rly  uses  mmusic  as  an  outlet  tho  so  she’ll  act  totally  tough  then   go  to  the  studio  &  record  all  about  her  heartache  .  will  NEVER  let  someone  see  her  cry  no  matter  how  close  she  is  with  them  .  she  rly  sees  it  as  a  sign  of  weakness  &  shes  in  a  much  better  place  than  she  was  5  years  ago  so  she  figures  she’s  not  ALLOWED  to  feel  anything  but  grateful  .  

         this  bitch  overthinks  everything  !! half  the  time  she  isn’t  rly  listenning  to  whoever  bc  she’s  thinking  about  what  they  just  said  &  if  they’re  mad  with  her  .  she’s  that  friend  who  will  ask  u  to  come  over  to  formulate  the  perfect  text  response  &   fuss  over  it  for  hours  .  that  being  said  ,  if  someone  talks  shit  abt  anyone  shes  tight  with  ,  they’re  gonna  get  it  the  next  time   she  sees  them  .  she  isn’t  about  violence  &  would  never  get  into  a  physical  fight  ,  but  she’d  work  behind  the  scenes  to  ruin  their  life  .  but  then  she  pretends  like  she  rly  doesn’t  care  though  its  obvious  to  those  close  to  her  that  she  cares  way  too  much

has  a  very  hard  time  expressing  love  bc  she  didn’t  have  much  practice  w  it  growing  up  .  she  was  on  her  own  most  of  her  young  life  so  even  if  her  mom  would  tell  her   te  amo  she  would  be  like  uh  huh  gtg  bye !!  

tldr ;  poor  bitch  w  abandonment  issues  who  was  able  to  get  out  of  it  by  channeling  her  energy  into  music  &  numbing  the  stress  with  pills  or  alcohol  which  she  def  still overuses  but  she  doesn’t  think its  a  problem  !! yikeroony  !!  loves  partying  & having  a  good  time  ,  puts  up  a  tough  front  but  is  rly  soft  underneath  .

wanted (* = mw)

friends  from  high  school  !! -  people  sof  stayed  with  in  the  summer  bc  she  wasn’t  going  home  to  brazil  .  

friends  from  music  school  !!  -  she  def  felt  like  an  outsider  among  the  music  prodigies  at  this  school  ,  &  maybe  this  person  was  one  of  the  ppl  she  actually  connected  with  . 

come  out  &  play  !!  this  person  acts  as  a  good  influence  to  sofie  .  they’re  level - headed  &  very  grounding  ,  &  sofie  doesn’t  let  it  show  but  they’re  really  important  to  her  .  this  is  the  Softest  billie  song  (  prob  bc  it  was  for  an  ad skdj )  &  they  inspired  it  bc  it’s  how  she  feels  when  shes with  them  .  they  encourage  her  to  be  all  that  she  can  be  &  they  believe  in  her  ,  &  they’re  prob  the  one  person  sofie  trusts  the  most  which  is  SAYING  something  !!

*exes  on  bad  terms  !!  -   ok  this  would  basically  be  based  on  all  the  songs  billie  has  about  a  failed  relationship  /  heartbreak  !! shes  got  a  bunch  .  im  thnking  maybe  she  was  actually  rly  into  them  but  had  a  hard  time  expressing  it  bc  she’s never  been  good  with  emotional  expression  ,  &  it  led  to  the  relationship  feeling ?? unfaithful  /  disconnected  ??  idk  but  she  rly  loved  them  &  is  still  nursing  that  heartbreak  .  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

the  paris  to  her  nicole  !!  -  ok  i  f*cking  hate  that  i  said  this  but  she’s  nicole  richie  its  true  !! she  needs  a  messy  gal  pal  exactly  like  how  paris  &  nicole  are  i  stan  them  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

roommate  !!  -  bc  of  her  abandonment  issues  she  rly  doesn’t  like  living  alone  so  prob  is  the  roomie  who  will  sleep  in  their  bed  from  time  to  time  bc  she  doesn’t  like  being  totally  alone  .  

*when  the  party’s  over  !!  - these  two have  been  hooking  up  for  a  while  no  strings  attached  but  recently  feelings  have  been  caught  !! &  now  they  still  hook  up  quite  often  but  sofie’s  kinda  harboring  feelings &  pretending  all  is  well  but  she  rly  hopes  they’ll  just  stay  the  night  from  time  to  time  ,  &  gets  secretly  heartbroken  when  she  sees  them  flirting  or  leaving  with  someone  else  . they  can  also  have  feelings  if  u  want  that  angst :~)

fwb  !!  -  sofie  is  pretty  transparent  when  it  comes  to  what  she  wants  &  she’s  got  a  bad  habit  of  replacing  dealing  with  problems  with  getting  laid  !! like  u  know  in  movies  when  the  man  opens  his  wallet  and  a  row  of  like  20  pictures  of  different  women  fall  out  ??  that’s  sof’s  aesthetic  .  she’s  got  a  bunch  of  fwb  of  all  genders  so  bring  me  some  pls

***mutual  dislike  /  copycat  !!  self - explanatory  ,  sofie  thinks  this  person  is  copying  her  in  everything  she  does  &  thinks  its  annoying  af  so  she  wrote  a  song  abt  it  &  hopes  they  indirectly  get  the  message  even  if  she  drops  not  so  subtle  hints  .  skfldjh  itd  be  messy  pls !!

party  buddies  !!  -  someone  who  encourages  sofies  wild  ways  .  when  the  two  get  together  its  usually  to  get  drunk  or  high  &  thats  the  way  they  like  it  .  sofie  doesn’t  feel  judged  by  them  as  she  does  by  others  who  don’t  get  obliterated  at  every  social  event  (  what  an  idea  !!  )  so  she  rly  values  them  ,  even  if  she  doesn’t  express  it

 ** 8 !! - someone  who  kinda  reluctantly  got  into  a  relationship  with  sofie  out  of  maybe  a  desire  to  save  her  from  herself  ??  like  u  know  that  good  girl  bad  boy  trope  where  the  girl  tries  to  save  the  boy  from  whatever  he’s  struggling  with  ?  that’s  them  but  the  roles  are  just  reversed  -  good  guy  ,  bad  girl  .  it  was  kinda  just  filled  w  her  being  self - destructive  &  confiding  in  him  but  not  rly  reciprocating  the  care  so  he  became  kinda  distant  bc  of  it  .  tbh  she  prob  knew  he  was  too  good  for  her  but  had  a sliver  of  hope  he  wouldn’t  leave  her  even  tho  eventually  she  became  too  much  for  him  .  (  lyrics : you said, "don't treat me badly", but you said it so sadly, so I did the best I could, not thinkin' you would have left me gladly. i know you're not sorry, why should you be? 'cause who am I to be in love, when your love never is for me?” )

good influence  !! this  person  can  tell  that  her  beahvior  is  unhealthy  &  are  trying  to  gently  nudge  her  abt  it  .  she  can  tell  what  they’re  doing  but  her  addict  brain  is  telling  her  its  invasive  &  threatening  so  shes  not  the  fondest  of  this  person  ,  but  deep  down  she  really  appreciates  them

music buddies !! these  two  are  both  in  the  music  industry  &  rather  than  it  being  competitive  ,  they’ve  developed  a  friendship  from  it  & enjoy  working  together  .  

* someone  sofie  ghostwrites  for  !! for  whatever  reason  ,  this  muse  doesn’t  write  their  own  songs  & instead  pays  sofie  to  write  them  for  them  .  she  doesn’t  love  it  but  its  a  way  to  make  money  &  give  away  songs  she  doesn’t  feel  attached  to  but  are  worth  something  .  maybe  its  tense  bc  they  claim  the  songs  as  their  own  &  sofie  doesn’t  like  it  ,  this  could  be  ~escandolo~  later  !!

*** my boy ( high school bf ) !! - ok  tea  this  song  is  the  one  that  broke  her  into  the  industry  .  she  produced  it  all  herself  &  just  relased  it  to  her  soundcloud  thinking  it  wouldn’t  rly  go  anyway  but  !!  joke’s  on  yung sofie  .  essentially  he  thought  the  relationship  was  going  well  ,  she’d  met  his  family  &  they  rly  liked  her  but  !! sof  was  feeling  kinda  smothered  &  told  herself  he  was  lying &  cheating  on  her  n  shit  so  she  wrote  a  song  about  it  !! &  once  it  was  starting  to  get  attention  he  was  like  ….. uhhh  what  the  fuck  & she  was  like  haha  sorry  !! so  they  broke  up  &  ever  since  its  been  animosity ,  but  she  realizes  she  fucked  up  but  it  launched  her  career  so  she  doesn’t  know  whether  to  keep  up  the  idgaf  i  hurt  you  or  apologize  .  

* ex - friends  !!  ok  pls  i  have  this  hc  where  sofie  got  way  too  high  one  night  &  slept  with  this  person’s  dad  or  sibling  or  smth !!  u  know  that  line  in  ‘ bad guy ’  where  she  goes  ‘ might  seduce  your  dad  type  ? ’  ya  that’s  got  sofie  written  ALL  over  it  !!   &  now  they’re  not  friends  bc  sofie  can’t  keep  it  in  her  pants  but  both  sides  kinda  misses  the  other  but  are  too  stubborn  to  say  anything  :~(

exes from college / high school  !!  - ok honestly i just love all the exes plots . gimme someone who like maybe they were hooking up & decided to give it a shot dating & it worked for a while but ultimately fell apart bc of sof’s inability to open up. maybe theres still tension or maybe theyre friends now !!

* lovely  !!  -  i  need  a  male  voice  for  khalid’s  part  in  lovely  bc  i  need  this  song  in  my  life  bc  its  a  whole  ass   sofie  mood  ok  .  

i’ve  also  got  a  wanted  connections  tag  linked  HERE  dksfj there's  not  much  in  it  yet  but  feel  free  to  check  it  out  .  ok  i  love  y'all  

[catboycafe]

im sorry i cant do readmore on mpbile anymore! im going to vent now

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i feel frustrated with how im being spoken to again. the people around me have been consistently talking to me like im an idiot or incompetent or like im a broken toy. im none of these things. im someone who tries my best and loves to make stuff and who wants to get better! im not anywhere near perfect but im better than i was a week ago, a few months, even a year ago. and i dont need anyone else to validate that because i know it and im internalizing it. so fuck off!!! talk to me like a normal person and stop treating me like a pet or whatever!!! choke!!

[pepprs]

im not feelin 2 Happy rn for a lot of diff reasons and i wanna vent abt it But i feel like a headass venting on finsta so im gonna do it here sorry this is gross and bad but im tired and feeling bad abt myself and need 2 yell abt it publicly for some reason lmao!

i invited a friend from school to stay over for thanksgiving bc she’s an exchange student and didn’t have anywhere 2 go for the holiday and i love her and love spending time with her but im so tired and drained from it and im so awkward and mad @ myself bc i can’t relax and stuff and my mom keeps makin digs @ me abt bein awkward in front of her and i BFNFBSBFBG D bbbdbf it’s not good??? i mean i thik shes having a good time but im so worn out bc we Never have had a friend sleep over before?? and she’s staying an extra night tonight which was……. unexpected and it’s Fine but Fuck i am Mentally Tired and our upstairs toilet is broken rn but i can’t use the one downstairs bc it’s Her Bathroom and djfjsjtkksjektkr fuck i have to pee and idk what to DO im distressed! also i have to be on mega polite mode until we drop her off tmrrrw morning and my introverted ass just wants to lay down and die!!!! this is why i can’t maintain any friendships i just get so tired and people probably hate me for it i hate myself i hate being antisocial and reclusive and withdrawn and Terrible So so so much!!!!!! Fuck!!!

i didn’t do any sort of thanksgiving post or anything or even like. Tell Anyone I Am Grateful For Them and i feel like shit abt it. and honestly? thanksgiving didn’t even really feel like thanksgiving this year. bc we normally watch the Macy’s parade and then go have thanksgiving @ the fire station and this year i slept through the parade and then we got my friend and went to someone else’s house and we didn’t even say what we were thankful for and it didn’t feel like thanksgiving at all and im sad about ita like it was Good but it wasn’t…. thanksgiving. and nothing is the same anymore bc we’re in college now and all the magic is gone and im real sad abt it and i can’t stop thinking abt it

also i haven’t checked social media for like 2 days bc of my friend staying over and i checked it for the first time tonight andn everyone is posting all over Facebook and Instagram abt who and what they’re thankful for and i didn’t do that and now i feel really guilty and also Bad bc everyone looks like they had a great thanksgiving and mine was just stressful bc we had 2 prepare for my friend and i just jfdnsndkfbsbfnbsbfng? also i I have like 43 unanswered emails and 39588284847284 text messages and im SO!!!! STRESSED!!! OUT!!!! and i have an essay i have to work on this weekend and we didn’t even get a break bc my friend came over and dnnsbdjfkskrjtkdjf idk im so exhausted and mad @ myself rn fuck!

this kid i went 2 high school with unadded me on snap a few weeks ago for some reason (after i wished him a happy bday and he replied thank u??? and hen i saw he had unadded me and i was ?????) and today e posted smth on his story like “if i unadded u on snap i did it for a reason 😛” BUT IDK WHAT I DID AND MY HEADASS FEELINGS ARE HURT FJSJJFJFKSKF!!!!!! imI a Baby also he and my twin sis had a streak @ some point and he broke it but they were good friends or smth and apparently he told her he didn’t like me or smth last year and i???? Didn’t know This until she told me abt it just today and idk. I mean I don’t care abt him or what he thinks of me rly but im sad and tired and Numb and im scared i did something offensive and he has a reason 2 hate me or smth fnfebtkrjidk!!

we saw coco today (IT WAS SO GOOD) and i was sitting next 2 my friend and i teared up a few times but i didn’t let myself cry next 2 her and im ashamed of myself bc i wanted to but i held back and then felt like a stone hearted Idiot bc everyone else was crying lol!!

pocket camp has slowed down a lot for me which is Really frustrating like i can’t do anything c im out of crafting materials and it’s kinda systematic rna Nd imSO SAD bc i was so excited for it and now everything seems the same and i fucking knew it wouldn’t last im so upset an angry with myself for playing all day on the first day bc now im so far ahead hat i can’t do anything until i get more materials and i just feel like an idiot i was so excited and. Now I Am Stuck and i just gnsnfnsndj.

also ok i haven’t told anyone this and i don’t wanna jinx anything by typing it but ive been having…. i guess u could callit an intrusive thought but it’s more like i can’t stop thinking abt this thing that im afraid of happening???? and the thought keeps coming back @ the worst times and normally i can rationalize w myself to get myself 2 stop being scared but lately ive been really anxious abt it and rationalizing is Not Working and it’s nagging @ me (esp when we drive bc That’s Where It Comes From) and ive been rly on edge abt it lately and idk. Idk abt anything i just am not feelin good rn and idk what’s wrong with me but im tired and stressed and i have to PEE and i just snfndnbdjdjjfjdhjeejr god im so sick of myself lmao. anyways sorry for venting i always feel self conscious abt doing it bc ppl will judge me for it and als o i can’t do a readmore or anything on mobile so this is all Right Here but yeah. fuck

[meanderfall]

Don't worry about taking some time to respond, the fact that you reply at all (and always with so much!) always makes my day! I didn't mean to imply that Caboose was an adult because he's dangerous, sorry about that! Ask boxes are just so small and I try not to flood you with too many, but it makes me lose some nuance. By pointing out that he was dangerous I was also trying to say he was competent, and was referring back to how the BCG tend to treat Caboose like he's harmless and helpless. [1/5]

[2/5] I'm a little sensitive to infantilization because a lot of people do it to me when they find out I'm autistic, so I'll admit it might just be me reading too deep into the little things, like how all the motivational speeches leave Caboose out ("And Caboose... er, it's good to see you?"). And how in Chorus he's given a toy gun because they think he has no impulse control, and no one ever expects him to have good ideas or be competent at anything despite doing/being both on a regular basis.

[3/5] But mostly what I meant when I said they don't treat him like an adult is that they treat him like he's an 'emotional timebomb' when he's not. It definitely comes from a place of caring, but they don't trust him to be able to handle hard truths. It's fine that they try to spare him some grief, but they don't give anyone else the same courtesy which implies that they think he - the one commonly described by fans and writers as innocent and childlike or as a "manchild" - needs to be coddled.

[4/5] And for sure a lot of Temple/Alpha treating Caboose like they do everyone comes from being assholes! Temple absolutely said it because Grif tried to defend Caboose when the implications of the recording failed to hurt him like it did the rest of them. But he's also not wrong that people tend to treat Caboose like he's fragile when he's probably the most emotionally resilient of the BGC. Which wouldn't be a problem narratively if Caboose wasn't also the only one with obvious brain trauma...   

[5/5] Also, the Director says in that flashback that they're the only team who's remained at a stalemate and that everything should be recorded so that they can recreate it (I can't tell if he wanted that composition for all future sim teams or just on an as needed basis though). I took this to mean that when he later decided to place Alpha somewhere safe he specifically chose people similar to the BvRs so that there would be another stalemate and therefore little chance of him being harmed.

You’re back!!! ^v^ Sorry, I immediately put all the asks under a readmore because I feel bad about clogging up dashes, but I also feel like they should be here in case anyone else wants to read these and understand what’s going on.

And omg don’t ever feel bad about sending me entire essays!!! I absolutely adore it!!! It makes me so happy, honestly, send in as many asks as you want, send in so many that you need several days to get it all in because you hit ask limit, it seriously makes my day

And, yeah, ask boxes are way too small, nuances get lost so easily when you’re trying to shove in all the necessary information in them :/ I sort of figured that you might have meant it in the sense that Caboose is actually competent in a fight and doesn’t need coddling, but the phrasing just immediately sent up red flags, so I wanted to address that point just in case. I’m sorry if that made you feel bad! I meant no offense.

I think you have some serious good points (to the point I’m not even sure I can add anything??? I’m mostly sitting here, like “yup, that’s true, they do do that don’t they”) and tbh I don’t think you’re being oversensitive to it or reading too much into it. And even if you were, it’s not a bad thing. Lord knows we all have something, a sore spot, a behaviour or cliche or situation that when it happens in media it hits something seriously personal or traumatic and just affects how you see things and feel when you watch it. (Tbh, I’ve recently encountered that sort of thing while playing a video game (which isnt fun bc i now dislike a character that everyone adores) and then again in the season 2 finale of Camp Camp.) So, like. I get you. 

(I don’t remember the specific circumstance with the toy gun in Chorus and then the eventual implantation of Freckles in the gun, but I kind of read it as them doing it to prevent team kills??? Or is that part of the problem, that it’s running gag that he kills people when trying to help them?)

You know, I laughed during the emotional time bomb scene, specifically Wash’s ‘jesus christ’ afterwards, but taking a step back to think about it, you’re right. Caboose is probably the farthest one from being an emotional time bomb. Pretty sure Wash in s6-s8, Carolina in s9-10, and Tucker in s15 have the dubious honour of being titled with such a moniker. 

Caboose is easily the healthiest one when it comes to emotions, because he actually lets himself feel them and express them properly. And he tries sharing what he’s feeling. Tbh, imo, he’s probably one of the strongest person emotionally, and I admire him so much for it?? Like his guide to making friends, when he finishes it with ‘but you can always make more. And that’s pretty neat’, I’m personally blown away that he’s able to keep such a positive outlook, like lmao im sitting here getting absolutely run-down and exhausted from making and losing friends all the time and not wanting to bother anymore, and Caboose is there like “my heart got broken, but that’s okay! Spending time with you helps me fix it up again, I’m really happy we’re friends.” How even??? Caboose, can I be you???

They coddle him. And he doesn’t need to be. He’s pretty smart and competent, and he’s handled so many emotional ups and downs like a champ. Maybe not always in the healthiest ways, but he eventually got better.

(Random thought, but do you remember that scene where Wash picks him up in s6 for his team, and the Captain like takes Caboose aside to tell him to never come back and Caboose is like “Never walk backwards”? Wouldn’t it be hilarious if Caboose actually did understand completely what he said, and all the other times in other explanations like that, but said something completely off the wall just to fuck with them? Or maybe not. Idk)

Isn’t it common fanon that Caboose’s brain trauma occurred when Omega, Tex and Alpha, three AIs, went inside his head and fucked around in there? It’s always kind of interesting to look back to s1 and see how much they’ve changed. Pretty sure Caboose and Donut suffered the most from flanderization...

This discussion is really great tbh, because now I’m honestly getting upset at how people treat Caboose in universe. I love it when my point of view and opinions of characters get changed.

Oh, really that happened with the Director? I must’ve missed it. I always assumed that the Director didn’t have much if any input with what happened with Alpha, mainly because he was either being put on tribunal and needed plausible deniability or, way more likely, he was on the run already. Admittedly, the timeline is confusing?? Is the Director and the Counselor still active throughout s1-s6? They are right? Is the Director actually keeping an eye on Alpha then?? But then how come he let the other AI fragments and Tex, all of which were on the run from PFL, go into Blood Gulch and interact with Alpha? The RvB timeline is awful and filled with so many questions and I hate that so much, but I also love it because that means we can have fun with headcanons and stuff.

I have no idea about if he recreated it on purpose then. Because, with the episodes on s14, I thought Florida was just purposely finding the laziest and most incompetent people he could to prevent Alpha from being harmed, I thought that’s all there was to it. Do you think Florida could’ve been made aware of the Blues and Reds?? Or maybe the Counselor told him. Also, I kind of assumed that the sim bases were supposed to have all kinds of different situations and circumstances so that the Freelancers could be challenged with different scenarios.

(An aside, isn’t the whole sim thing kind of fucked up for the Freelancers though? Because, I’m like 99% sure that being sent into such scenarios where everyone else around them is considered incompetent by the average soldier, never mind Freelancers, probably 1) encourages them to think of themselves as better, upping their arrogance 2) makes them think that they really might be the best if not the only ones who can win the war, adding a shit-ton of pressure and 3) makes them think more fondly of their team, the Freelancers, tightening their bonds, and then the Director purposefully broke those bonds, and instead of it just being a team not meshing well, it becomes betrayal, and heartbreak, and trauma. and that’s not even going into how the sim troopers feel, a bunch of people who either volunteered to help, or signed up to try and better themselves, or who were drafted, all being used in the sick games of a man with a sick mind, and being essentially useless for the war effort. Nice going, Director) (lmao talking about him makes me want to finally make that gifset idea i have for him)

(also???? you like hearing me ramble about things??? what is this, is this reality, what is going??? thank you, that really makes me so happy you have no idea

[dangkinronpa]

positivity for trans saihara

its under the readmore

im going to preface this by saying i dont think you mentioned whether youre ftm or mtf, so ill include things for both!! 

dysphoria, first of all, is an absolute nightmare -- im so sorry if thats what youre going through right now. and sometimes its an ongoing struggle!! an incessant hum in the back of your mind that somethings just not quite right. 

and i can assure you now, it is. everythings okay.

your body may not look or feel the way you want it to, your voice may not sound ideal, your clothes, hair, or name may not match up as youd like, but that doesnt mean youre not you. you know who you are, saihara!! no matter what, you know your gender and you know your identity, so plant some roots and stick yourself there!! and if youre actually not sure of you are, thats okay too. it takes time -- and you never have to slap a label on yourself to know who you are, anyway. whether you know or not, youre valid, youre you, and nothing can change that, whether you “pass” or not.

ps: “passing” is just an obstruction to determine the validity of anothers gender, when thats not how anything works at all!! again, you are valid no matter how you look, sound, or function!! 

aa speaking of, maybe youre facing transphobia?? hearing gross things, whether directed at you specifically or not, is terrible. im so so sorry. you dont deserve that. maybe you came out to your family/friends and theyre not supportive, or youre out at school/work/etc and its less than accepting. you deserve better, and i wish we lived in a world where none of this happened; well be there someday, but people like you and me have to pave the path for the people to come. so stay strong, okay?? youre doing so well -- keep at it. 

you cant change anyones mind, cant magically have them understand and accept you, and thats one of the hardest parts of coming out. its waiting and hoping theyll come around, or knowing they never will and distancing yourself. ive had to break off relationships because the other was so closed-minded and it was destroying my confidence and sense of self: if youre facing something like this and you have the chance to break away, please do. your health and safety are top priority, regardless of how close you are, how long youve known each other, or how youre related. its okay. youre okay. youll find people who love and accept you for you.

things may not be perfect now, but there are things to help!! ive listed a few resources below for common ftm and mtf struggles!! aaa i dont personally know what being mtf is like, so if thats you and its not helpful i sincerely apologize!! here it is:

ftm:

if youre feeling dysphoric about your voice, here are some exercises to make it deeper

if youre feeling dysphoric about your genitalia, you can try packing!! heres a tutorial for making your own packer. there are also strap ons, and some you can even use the restroom through!! tho i recommend doing your own research to find what works for you.

if youre feeling dysphoric about your chest, here are some of the best binders ever; i highly recommend their binders over anyone elses, both for reputation, price, and safety.

mtf

if youre feeling dysphoric about your voice, here are some exercises to make it higher

heres a tutorial on tucking for hiding your genitalia!!

and if you want to wear it, heres a general overview of make up, brushes, and terminology. its a lot of fun and can really feminize your face if youre worried about that!! 

and this is a mastlerist with a long of things for both!! some of the links are broken tho aa

and if you need anything else, theres this!! its the inbox to my main hehe☆ youre never alone, saihara, so feel free to hmu at any time. got your back, and hope it gets easier soon!! your aesthetic will be up as soon as this posts.

-mod ko♥

[sulky-mayor]

tagged

SO YEAH town maintenance is still happening before i upload more screenshots but i looked in my likes nd saw a tag from @mayor-hunni from MOOOONTHS ago so imma do it now under a readmore! sorry for the text posts spam ;__;

A- Age: 18 B- Biggest Fear: being hated and/or dying. thats kinda deep im also spooked by zombies u__u C- Current Time: 2:00am D- Drink You Last Had: pepsi i am the pinnacle of unhealthy eating E- Everyday Starts With: opening my 500 mobage apps and crying over how beautiful my favs are F- Favourite Song- https://a.tumblr.com/tumblr_o7am370v2V1tb0hhho1.mp3#_=_ listen to it or else G- Ghosts, Are They Real? : im the type to believe things only if i see em with my own eyes? maybe maybe not... H- Hometown: London I- In Love With?: KANADE HAYAMI J- Jealous Of?: anyone who has a full lipps ssr team limited or permanent on deresute 1v1 me irl tulip master+ syuko shiomi normal only no healers K- Killed Someone? never have and never will L- Last Time You Cried? 2 days ago kanade came home M- Middle Name: the N- Number Of Siblings: 2 O- One Wish: true happiness P- Person You Last Texted: my mother to show her the gilgamesh figure i wanted (and soon went on to order) Q- Questions You’re Always Asked: “are you okay”... idk i always have a face that looks pissed off or sad and i always get asked it irl even if im fine R- Reasons To Smile: people arent as bad as i think! i am surrounded with lots of friends who love me and im sure ill get better one day! also kanade is beautiful and i got 3 ssrs last cinfes S- Song Last Sang: TOKIMEKI DOKOMADE MO ESCALATOOO  T- Time You Woke Up: 6pm we die like men U- Underwear Colour: grey V- Vacation Destination: i want to go to honokas house. let me go there.  W- Worst Habit: saying “i want to die” at every minor inconvinence X- X-Rays You’ve Had: cant remember how many but ive broken my arm/hand/wrist multiple times Y- Your Favourite Food: i love donuts and cake and everything sweet Z- Zodiac Sign- Aquarius!!!

ive been away for so long idk whos active anymore SO i wont tag anyone for now;;;;