#(i'll be honest i cheated a little i'd already done this one so I just went and grabbed it lol)

[silvery-bluish]

tagged by @astarien! Thank u for the tag!! here they are!! a very tired looking Arsinoe. they've apparently let someone even out their hair and we're making do with tea instead of coffee but the eyes and nose are on POINT with this one!!

I'm gonna tag @rosaindomitus, @cigarettesandinevitablebetrayal, @m3k-fhr, and @wonda-fhr if you guys are interested! No pressure, and anyone else who wants to do this picrew should because it's Great and i want to see y'all's OCs.

Link to the picrew here!

[moonfromearth]

On Repeat - an oc tag by @elderwisp

"rules are pretty simple, pick as many (or as little) oc's as you'd like and find a song that you relate to them the most! feel free to mention why too! o and tag some more ppl too! that would be cool!"

I may have gone a little overboard 😅 To be honest this tag came around at just the right time! I'd just gotten a new song association and have been working on schoolwork so much that I really needed to do something creative 😆

Originally these were all going to be in similar editing styles (more like Corey's) but somewhere along the way that stopped because I had different ideas that I really wanted to do. Also I cheated a little and a few got more than one song... 🤫

I'm really proud with all of these in the end, and if you want to read more about the stories behind them you can check below the cut! ❤️

I know I'm pretty late to the party now buuut I'll tag: @igglemouse @swiftviolets @stargazer-sims @auspexsims and @seniorpollinationtechnician. Feel free to ignore though if you've already done it/don't want to! 😁

[deep dive under cut!]

COREY ALTMAN

"Holiday" - Green Day:

This song being here is random song association at its finest. The trail pretty much goes "Holiday" by Green Day > Surf's Up > Beach Vibes > Sulani > Globetrotter Challenge > Corey Song. If that makes sense... 😂 Pretty much, you can blame the Sulani round of the Globetrotter Challenge for it, plus the fact that I feel like it's the type of song/genre Corey would use in his own music.

"Catch Me If You Can" - Set It Off:

Now, it would be a crime to talk about songs and Corey without a song by Set It Off. Corey was created when I was listening to their songs a lot, and it definitely rubbed off on him. From his aesthetic to the songs I imagine him playing, a lot of it came from Set It Off. Even his name was derived from the band's lead singer (although changed from Cody to Corey because that's the route my mind took with it idk). So, this song in particular specifically reminds me of Corey for... Honestly probably obvious reasons 😆 "Catch Me If You Can" was pretty much the theme of his Globetrotter Challenge, where he was constantly moving on the run from the law. A line I really like though for him is the part that says, "I only feel at home when I'm on the run," because I feel like that leads into the deeper aspects of Corey. He really isn't at home anywhere, he's always on the move, even when he's not evading capture anymore. There's a certain non-permanence to everything he does. Something funny about the image itself is that it originally wasn't going to be edited to look like the back cover of a CD. When I took the picture of Corey with the guitar I kind of thought "this looks like the back cover of a CD" and when editing I just needed a way to fill the space at the bottom and it turned into a CD back cover edit 🤣 It actually kind of fits though since both of these songs are the sound I associate with Corey's own music so it worked out in the end.

LIZZY ALTMAN

"Unopened Windows" - Set It Off:

So this one is the context behind this post lol. It's been like two years since I started working on this plotline I have to finish it eventually 😆 Anyway, Lizzy's been teased in many tag games so far, but without a name or much information (note: and this name's not final I'm not sure yet). Here you can probably guess based on the song choice how her story goes 😅 Going back to the epilogue of the Globetrotter Challenge, we see that something is going on, and it leads to Lizzy and her dad being separated. So, the entire song lyrically I really felt spoke to them and their situation (more in a future gameplay 😉). Bonus points for it being a Set It Off song, who I associate with Corey, and thought music could have been something that they bonded over and enjoyed together. I have a few things to say about the image itself because it was a struggle but I looooove how it turned out! It turned out essentially how I imagined it with Lizzy playing guitar in the foreground with a sort of memory of her time with her dad in the background. I probably had about five or six different poses that I put in the background because I couldn't decide which one I liked the best 😆 This was the last image I had to work on out of the four, and I was having trouble with how I wanted the song title to look. While I was browsing for overlays and stuff I came across a lot of cutout style poems and ended up adding in some of the lyrics because I thought it would help explain the concept behind the image. In the end this one is one of my favorites which is unbelievable considering how much I thought it was not going to turn out like I imagined 🥰

*UNNAMED*

(Sorry I don't have a name for her yet and don't want to commit to a temporary one 😭)

"Little Chaos" - Orla Gartland:

In a wonderfully serendipitous coincidence, this was the song association I was very into when getting tagged, and was already planning what became this edit! I rarely have song associations for sims/sims stories (despite how many ended up coming together here) so that's why I'll never get over how well timed this all was (thanks again elderwisp!!) On to the song, it has to do with my upcoming gameplay story centered around the For Rent game pack, and starring the pictured sim (who doesn't have a name yet sorry! 😅). She's going through a bit of a tough time where she's very lost and I thought the lines, "And it's a good day for a meltdown. All my thoughts getting too loud," fit really where she's at, especially at the start. Plus, the vibes are perfect. The image itself was inspired by the song's MV and one part in particular, but it looks a lot different now (I was limited by the poses I could find because I refuse to sit down and learn to make my own yet). I liked this idea of the torn pages framing the image, especially because it plays into the plot, which sees the main character do a lot of journaling throughout the story. So, the lined paper had to do with that, and it doubled as being good for making the letters stand out, which I wanted to be big and misaligned to be more "chaotic," though I think that could have been done more/better. Aaaaand the background is a picture of Tomarang, where the story takes place. To be honest this will probably be the cover image once I finalize a name and get started on playing it 😉

GHOST COWBOY

(no he also doesn't have a name yet same as above 😆)

"Ferryman" - Schafer James and Will Wood:

I've actually been having a lot of fun with this character since initially creating him back before the Horse Ranch pack came out (more on him coming out in a few days for the outlaw challenge 😉). So this song.... The entire concept of our ghost cowboy is that he, being somewhat half dead and half alive, winds up being a good source of convincing "unwilling souls" to cross over, and works with the character Death to do so in exchange for finding out why he's not entirely dead. I'll explain it better another time, but I also really love this song and just thought that the concept of the ferryman and the ghost cowboy as ferriers of the dead.

"Toss A Coin To Your Witcher (Epic Version)" - Samuel Kim and Black Gryph0n:

Liiiiisten... My family made me watch three seasons of The Witcher I had to get something out of it 😆 I joke a lot that this character gives off Geralt vibes but honestly they are definitely super similar just based on their overall aesthetic and horse companions. I wanted to be special though and chose this epic cover instead of the original... Just for fun 😁 There were some cool piano covers too that almost made the cut. This is probably a good place to talk about the actual image (yay!). I hope the visibility on it isn't too bad because it ended up waaaay more cluttered than I originally intended, plus the mist effect definitely makes it harder to see the characters. I made his (also unnamed) horse a little more transparent to try and give off this ghostly see through effect so I hope that comes through. The font isn't the kind of "wild west wanted sign" font that I wanted, but I think it's close enough lol.

Credits:

Image by rawpixel.com on Freepik

[gege-wondering-around]

Hello cariad! I really liked this question and I'm so curious to know your answer!

What's something you're very passionate about? 🩵

And how did you discover this passion?

hi darling @dontcallpanic! sorry it took me so long to answer! hope I'll be able to do justice to the ask and your answer was extremely heart warming and you're such an amazing person for doing that🫂🩵

something I'm very passionate about is:

meritocracy/'getting what you deserve'

I've seen the world being unfair since I was very young, I've seen it first hand in second grade and it got stuck with me.

(little back story moment: a classmate of mine wanted to cheat from me and I tried not to let her but she kept insisting, the teacher noticed and scolded me and put my desk against the wall)

ever since, I've never let anyone cheat off of me, I've tried my hardest to never cheated myself (unless it was necessary, like last year with chemistry because the teacher was the worst and next year we dont have that subject anymore, so the whole class just opted for the best way out, and I honestly don't regret it. but other that this one time, cheating is not for me).

anytime cheating was brought up by one of my friends, I'd be the one going against their methods (sneaking 2 phones so they'd keep one during the exam, hear bugs to listen to audios, long ass cheating sheets under the chair and such) cause the one who did this, were those who could simply study and get a very good grade.

and it was such a common thing to do, to cheat every single time, that they'd brag about it like it was the success of the century. and they never got what they actually deserved and it makes me sick. cause i know people who bust their asses to keep their grades up and have little to no recognition for their efforts, while these other people who cheats just get away with it.

and they don't just cheat on exam... one cheated on her gf as well, one is planning on cheating the driver theory test, and so on.

(another back story moment: math exam, i studid days for it and a friend of mine kept asking me for help. at home, i did an exercise we both struggled on and got the right answer but i knew the method was wrong but found no other way to get to the answer. i send it to my friend, don't remember what she said but i remember she told me it was done wrong and i knew. next day, the day of the exam, 10 minutes before it she went to our math teacher to ask him how it was supposed to be done and showed him the pic with my work, and he obviously told her it was done wrong (and i knew the whole time it was) and she came back fiercely saying 'i told you it was wrong' but i let her me. during the exam, she had photomath doing her exam while the teacher was 1 meter away from her. and he told her nothing.)

but apart from school, I've seen this in my parents' work environment too, cause they are both the most hard workers and they get less than most and have to do everything for others cause, for example my father, is the only one who can this particular machine (which is falling apart) and he had to 'study' the whole thing to understand how to make it work, while others, whenever its their time to work on it, they just give up the second the machine decided to break and those people don't work for the rest of the day.

anyway! (you can already cleary tell my passione about this...)

to make it short, it makes me sick that busting your ass gets you nothing and cheating gives you everything. and I discover it (if you can say you can discover this) because everything is unfair and I want to be fair. I wanna play fairly and get what i deserve, whatever it might be.

it's one of my strongest moral, not to cheat, and it shows not only on test but friendships and relationships too cause I'm extremely loyal and honest and genuine (to the point others take advantage of it) but I'm proud of it regardless. i get what i get and im satisfied by my results cause i know the efforts behind it. but seeing nothing more than the wolrd being unfair takes away from me the enjoyment of being able to do the things i do... yet, I try my hardest to make sure people get treated fairly, i want people to know their efforts aren't wasted on their interests or success (such as grades and others).

but moving on cause i could rant about meritocracy forever...

psychology

ever since i was little it mesmerized me. the human mind, behavior, response based upon past experiences and how one person can be molded by society and the wolrd.

i knew a few things about psychology and it helped me (along with helping me helping others too) to go on with my life and get over certain moments when i was at my lowest.

i wanna understand people deeply (and i can even without psychology, I have a lot of empathy for others) and this helped me a lot to understand their behavior and feelings cause even subtle hints can tell you so much about someone.

i feel that, knowing psychology even a little bit, gives me the ability to make a web of someone mind (even if it'd be so little and insignificant) which is amazing to me. to be able to put something to abstract and complex as someone's identity on paper, to understand them to the point you get the ALMOST completely (in that little aspect, for example why i care so much about meritocracy. psychology can only tell you that much about my passiont towards it) because love makes the understanding complete.

i don't believe that you can understand someone simply based upon psychology because you make them nothing more than a rat lab. i believe you need love to fully get someone's way of being, you need to understand their feelings and reasons and psychology can do only so much about it.

in short. to understand people, i discovered psychology cause i needed to understand myself, why i was depressed and such, and it helped me come to the realization i couldn't help myself until i started loving who i was.

which brings me to...

love

i have a tremendous lack of love in my life and my friends ease that pain without even knowing it. my kindness comes from love, everything i do is based upon love.

someone once told me i can't live a life based upon love, seeing love everywhere, but i don't care. for me love can be anywhere, it can be in a little hobby i picked up simply to do one thing and ended up being useful further on, it can be in putting a can os sode in the fridge knowing you won't be the one drinking it. (and its your fav soda as well). it can be sharing something with those you love, even i simply 'hey i dreamt this tonight...' and have a good laught together.

love is everywhere, i can see it everywhere. it can be anywhere.

i want love to be one of my motivations, to be one of those things i carry with me anywhere i go, something i can share cause everyone can use some love regardless of everything.

i discovered love in a strange way. not through a relationship or my family. but through internet and not by having a relationship online.

it came out of no where, this manga i saw and read without knowing anything about it and it made me sick to my stomach cause it was claimed to be about love but there was no love in it. it all felt forced and that's when i started developing my thought about love, of any kind, and when i understood what love might be for me.

after that, love drove me through my lowest moments, helped me back up again and it showed me my passions. even if they changed with time, everything i did or picked up as an hobby was made with the intention to love.

and this brings me to the last one (at least for this post)...

writing

i write of love and i love writing.

it literally saved since when i was down really bad, i could only write. and i wrote endlessly, i still have some of the things i wrote years ago, the sorrow and pain and agony in those sheets of paper reminds me who i was and how far I've come. and all thanks to writing.

now i write fanfics about love, i pour as much love as i can in my pieces and i try my hardest to leave a lesson in my works (despite the fact i haven't post a single one yet). i started writing fanfics when i wanted love to be tangible in my own way, i started being a fanfic writer when i was touched so deeply by some characters' love (without even being canon) that i couldn't comprehend the cruelty behind taking away something so beautiful from the narration. (or life, if you want).

the day i started writing was when i set down my goal in life: to show love is possible. whether it might be through fanfics, poems, letters, messages, quotes or book dedications (cause the fic I'm working on rn is dedicated to someone really meaningful to me).

and it all started when i was around 7 or 8 and ever since then, I've been writing for a decade now and I'm still going strong on it. it's my way of being, of showing love and understanding, it's my way of be alive despite everything, is my way of fighting.

and anytime someone close to me mention how they'd like to start to write, i cheer them up as much as possible, and when they have doubts and maybe we are having lunch somewhere and they ask me 'hey how do you do it without stressing yourself?' or something similiar i pour my heart out to tell them writing is always about writing for yourself.

i discovered writing paragraphs and poems because i was becoming mute (not like medically speaking, i just never talked) and i needed to get it out and talking with my voice about it only made me feel less and less, like i was tearing away pieces from myself simply because people could be aware of me if i spoke about myself. I didn’t want people to know me, i wanted them to ignore me.

so i wrote.

i kept writing. from my thoughts to little stories, to poems and messages, and finally to fanfics. i kept writing everything down, i write myself down so I'm tangible in a way that doesn't tear anything away from me.

i became tangible in a way where it doesn't matter if I'm a male or a female, if I'm old or young, if I'm this or that.

i made myself tangible and memorable, something you can comprehend and live, something you can notice and not ignore.

I hated and still hate being tangible in the way of a woman. I'm tangible because people can touch me and i hate it, so i wrote. and that's my way of being tangible, without letting people take away anything from, without having them touching me.

and this is all in my writings, in my poems and my fanfics this things always come up somehow, maybe subtly or maybe not but they are always there cause i write for myself. i write to have something to leave behing in this life. i write to be tangible even in the future. i write so maybe someone else will write too and be tangible just the same way. i write to inspire and teach, to myself and others.

i write to be. i write about love.

so...

yeah this is pretty much it, i hope i made justice to the ask somehow and i hope the part about meritocracy wasn't too boring or like a rant (cause i swear it gets animated whenever its brought up and my bestie keeps me shut before i scream at teachers to fo their job, anyway!)

hope it was of your liking and im glad i have a chance to answer this as well. wish you an amazing day and hope your writing journey is lovely and filled with passion! and remember, before anyone else, always write for your own enjoyment and according to your tastes and likings!🫂🩵

[razieltwelve]

Easy Mark (Final Rose)

Note: Set in the Yang x Averia x Elsa AU... which also appears to be the Ruby x Weiss x Jahne AU.

X X X

Ruby stared at the cards in disbelief. "Again? How do you keep winning?" She glared as menacingly as she could at Jahne. it had zero effect on the blonde. "You said you wouldn't use your Semblance!"

"I can promise you that I am not using my Semblance." Jahne's lips curled. "Now, Ruby, you know what you have to do."

The dark-haired woman looked about nervously. "Do I have to?"

Jahne's gaze softened. "If it truly makes you uncomfortable, then you don't have to. However... I am most certainly looking forward to the view."

Ruby swallowed thickly. "I... okay." Slowly, she removed her shirt. Jahne's gaze was molten as she took in the newly revealed expanses of toned, pale skin. "Uh..."

"Lovely." Jahne smirked. "Absolutely lovely. What do you think, Weiss?"

Weiss swallowed thickly. "Very much so."

Like Ruby, Weiss was already down several items of clothing whereas Jahne was almost fully dressed. The fourth player in their little game of strip poker was Diana. Like Jahne, she had hardly removed any clothing at all.

As per the rules, none of them were allowed to use their Semblances.

"I can't wait to win again," Jahne murmured. "That would be your bra, right?"

Ruby squeaked. "Maybe?"

"Jahne," Diana pointed out. "Ruby still has her stockings on." The dark-haired woman sniggered. "I wonder why she chose to leave those on while removing her shirt."

Ruby's eyes widened. "I forgot about my stockings!"

Weiss stared at the aforementioned socks. "I don't mind her leaving them on."

Jahne rolled her eyes. "You've always had a thing for stockings. And thigh-highs? You're practically drooling."

"Oh shut up," Weiss hissed. "I've seen you staring too."

"Yes, but I'm honest about it." Jahne leered at Ruby. "See?"

"You sure you need me here?" Diana asked. "Because as much as I like you all, I'm not into you that way. If you three want to just call it a game, I'd be happy to go enjoy my winnings while you three enjoy each other."

"We can hardly call it a proper poker game if we only have three people."

"Are we playing poker? Because this seems more like an excuse to -" Diana stopped. "Ah. We might have to stop here."

"Oh?" Jahne raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"

"My sister is on her way here." Diana paused. "She's currently on stealth mode, but I always know where she is. She should be getting here right about... now."

The door opened, and Averia's gaze flicked around the room. She took careful note of the lack of clothing Ruby and Weiss had, as well as the all but fully dressed state Jahne and Diana were in.

"Jahne, are you scamming Ruby and Weiss?" Averia sighed. "And are you helping her, Diana?"

Diana shrugged. "What are friends for?"

"Wait..." Ruby blinked. "Scamming us? What do you mean? We made everybody promise not to use their Semblances."

"..." Averia stared at Ruby in disbelief. "And you don't think that Jahne has a hundred other ways to cheat?"

"Oh." Ruby's mouth opened and closed. "Then... then...!"

"I'm afraid that I've been using my evil poker cheating powers to get you and Weiss naked," Jahne drawled. "Alas, my glorious leader interrupted before my plans could come to fruition."

Averia sighed. "Jahne..."

"What?" Jahne smirked unrepentantly. "Ruby and Weiss are so cute when they think they've got a chance. And there's a certain... anticipation to removing pieces of clothing one by one..."

Averia turned on her heel. "Do as you like. I'm only here because Yang insisted I go check up on Ruby. I think she was more worried about Ruby losing all her cookies for the next year than she was about you getting her clothes off."

Ruby smiled sunnily. "I'll have you know that no cookies were involved in tonight's betting!"

Diana sniggered. "I'm not sure that's something to be proud of." She got up. "Anyway, it looks like my work here is done. Have fun you three!"

Averia elbowed Diana in the gut. "Stop being obnoxious."

[kpostedsum]

daddy issues; D.M

summary: you and draco bond over issues in 6th year

word count: 2.4k

warnings: err angst, comfort, illusions to sex

song: daddy issues (the remix) - the neighbourhood

a/n: i tried not to make it stereotypical bc i didn’t wanna make it seem all “i like older men lol”, probably my fav fic i’ve written, also arent these anime gifs so cute

masterlist | taglist

Take you like a drug

I taste you on my tongue

Tongues battling for dominance, bodies rubbing against each other searching for a feeling. It’s become routine now, a different person in your dorm swallowing a new pill, entangling limbs with someone just to feel something.

You ask me what I'm thinking about

I tell you that I'm thinking about

Whatever you're thinking about

Tell me something that I'll forget

And you might have to tell me again

It's crazy what you'll do for a friend

It was a constant cycle, putting yourself out there seeking the male attention you crave, seeking validation, constant reassurance and trusting too easily. That’s how you ended up with a different guy who always in the end leaves. You trusted too easily and people took advantage of how trusting and naive you are just for a quick shag.

You wished it wasn’t like this but that’s all you knew, wanting to be the best version of yourself for someone just to feel needed, no matter if the person was good or bad for you. You didn’t care, you wanted love from anyone you could get it from even if it just hurt you more.

You’re familiar with the absence, something stable made you feel a bit wary. It wasn’t something you were used to. Your father wasn’t the most present in your life, and even though he's there, he's never really there.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

You always wondered where you went wrong, he preferred your siblings over you and doesn't pay you a piece of his mind. Constantly going out of your way to get his attention whether it was academically or acting a certain way just to get some sort of reaction. But he was too preoccupied with his other children, even if they were from your mom or his affairs.

That’s how you found yourself right now sitting in the astronomy tower past curfew watching the rain fall, trying to clear your head while humming softly to yourself to keep yourself distracted.

You hear distant chattering from below and quickly get up from where you were sitting and make your way to your dorm unnoticed by anyone.

Except one person, Draco Malfoy.

I tried to write your name in the rain

But the rain never came

So I made with the sun

The shade

Always comes at the worst time

He’s seen you before, you’re known around Hogwarts for how you put yourself out there and how ‘desperate’ you are for some affection. He almost feels bad for you, but he’s in no place to judge. With his dad in Azkaban Draco had so much more to worry about, like his task and how he can succeed. But there was something about you that intrigued him that he couldn't ignore.

He saw you again in transfiguration the next day and noticed a few hickeys littering your neck that you had tried to cover but it didn’t work. He wondered why you gave yourself up to so many people, but once again he was in no place to judge. He noticed the way your tongue would stick out when you focused extra hard, the way your hands would tighten around your quill when you got a question wrong and your face.

The same face that many boys including the older years would fawn over, the face that entranced and attracted many, the face of someone who would do anything for someone for some affection and the face of someone who seeked out all the wrong things.

You ask me what I'm thinking about

I tell you that I'm thinking about

Whatever you're thinking about

Tell me something that I'll forget

And you might have to tell me again

It's crazy what you'll do for a friend

You walk out of transfiguration on your way to the owlery to send a letter to your parents and feel eyes watching you everywhere. You like it, the attention, it’s something that you thrived in, but you couldn’t help but feel a new set of eyes on you.

Once you reached the owlery you realized you weren't the only one there, Draco Malfoy was also there sending a letter to who you assumed was his mother.

“y/n, right?” he asked, trying to spark a conversation.

“Yea, listen i’m sorry about what happened with your father i know you really looked up--”

“Dont worry about it, he wasn’t as good an influence as I made him out to be,” he sighed, looking away.

“My dad isn’t the best either if i’m being honest, i guess we’re in the same boat” you let out a light chuckle.

And that’s how you found yourself hanging out with draco malfoy bonding over your shared issues.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues

It’s been weeks since you two started hanging out since the interaction in the owlery and have been getting closer ever since. You both sat down together in the astronomy tower, backed against the wall as the cool wind blew against your faces. The aura between you two was calm, a comfortable silence.

“So tell me about your dad, how is it with him in Azkaban?” you asked, tilting your head towards him.

“Mother’s not taking it well” he frowned. “I can’t even say potter’s wrong for getting him locked up because he deserves it. All my life he praised the dark lord and taught me to be selfish and always defend my blood, but he was never there for me when I needed him. I would have done everything just to hear ‘i’m proud of you’ but it never came. It’s worse now because mother’s all alone. I wish I could have stayed with her” he sighed looking out the tower watching the stars twinkle.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been much quieter this year as well, you stopped making fun of people. It’s not that nice on the receiving end huh?” you said with a teasing look on your face.

He shook his head at you scooting closer to you, it’s like the demeanor between you two have changed over the past few weeks. You found yourself pining over him rather than being in someone's bed. But this is how the cycle always goes, you get attached and they leave, you couldn’t help but hope this wasn’t the situation this time.

“Tell me about your father”

Daddy stuck around but he wasn't present

Cheated on your mom but she never left him

First I didn't get it, now I understand

He broke her heart, left money in her hand

So everything got paid for

She made sure you and your brother had way more

Than she ever had growing up

And when you told me the whole story I felt like throwing up

“ I don't know if i’d even call him my father at this point, he doesn't want me.” you sighed. “He's been cheating on my mum for years now and she still won't leave him because she thinks they can work it out. He’s had affairs with different pureblood women and has children with them. But what hurts the most is how he treats them as his own children and treats me as if I don't exist” you said, looking down as tears pooled your eyes.

Draco moved closer to you and brought his arm around your shoulders for a sense of comfort and waited for you to catch your breath so you can continue.

“I just want him to love me” you cried. “I go out my way to try and get his attention with my school work but it never works. That's why I get along with so many guys. I seek the validation, the comfort and the reassurance that I can get from him from others and I am so tired of it. I just want him to want me draco.” tears slipping out your eyes as you looked up at him, you’ve never confessed this to anyone before.

“Everyone always leaves, please don't leave me” you cried

“I’m not going anywhere” he turned his face towards you, leaning forward cautiously as if you were made of glass.

You leaned forward, wanting the exact same thing. Both very hesitant he gently pressed his soft lips against yours and they moved together in sequence, only taking a break to go back to his dorm and to breathe, limbs tangled together for the rest of the night until the sun rose.

I can see it on your face it was rough left a bad taste on your tongue

And she didn't even take any drug

She would rain all day

Couldn't wait for her son to shine

And you made it shine

There when she cried, you saved her life

It's been a week since that night in the astronomy tower and draco had already been avoiding you. It’s humiliating, but you should have known. You thought the ‘bond’ you had with him would last, it felt so genuine this time. So real.

You’d see him around the halls snogging pansy on your way back to the ravenclaw tower, lowering your head down so he wouldn’t be able to see you so you could get by quickly and unnoticed.

But he saw you.

He stared you right down in your teary eyes as he made out with pansy. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of betrayal, for someone who promised he wouldn’t leave you like everyone else, he did the exact same.

You did the only thing you knew of, you ran.

I keep on trying to let you go

I'm dying to let you know

How I'm getting on

I didn't cry when you left at first

But now that you're dead it hurts

This time I gotta know

Where did my daddy go?

I'm not entirely here

Half of me has disappeared

Draco followed you to the girls lavatory, hearing your shallow cries coming from one of the stalls. He approached the stall you were in trying not to make too much noise so he doesn't startle you.

He felt awful.

He promised he would never leave you, after you both poured your hearts out to each other but he still left. He had too, he was putting you in danger just by being with him. If Voldemort ever found out about you and hurt you he wouldn't be able to live with himself, that's why he took it upon himself to hurt you first.

“y/n are you in here?” he called out even though he knew the answer.

You recognized that familiar voice anywhere. “What do you want draco?” you said, trying to make it seem as if you weren’t just crying.

“I want to talk to you, please”

“No,” you said getting up and pushing yourself out of the stall. “You don't get to just throw me away after I told you everything and just come back into my life like nothing ever happened. Just go away, that's all you guys are good for” you spat.

“Just listen to me, it was to keep you safe. I didn;t want to but i couldn't bear seeing you hurt” he tried to explain.

“Safe?” you laughed. “ and what exactly do i need saving from, malfoy.”

“From me” he said as he pulled up his sleeve revealing his dark mark to you. Your body instantly tensed, you knew he was having problems and his family was involved with the dark lord but you never knew it was like this.

“Draco i-” you tried to say something but the words were stuck in your throat. He stood there looking at you desperately like he was waiting for you to tell him everything was okay, you wanted to be there for him but you didn’t know what to do. You trusted him with everything but he couldn't trust you with this? You thought the bond you had made would have made him trust you in the slightest, but clearly it's always you who’s more trusting.

“Why didn't you tell me?” you managed to say, your voice hoarse.

“I thought you’d leave me, you were the only good thing i had. Please don't leave me” he begged, salty tears escaping his eyes and running down his cheeks as he looked at you with desperation.

“So you thought pushing me away by snogging pansy was better?” you yelled, as he continued to look at you slightly taken aback by your lashing out.

“You know what, go ahead and cry little boy. You know that your daddy did too, you know what your mama went through. You gotta let it out soon, just let it out” you taunted walking closer to him looking straight into his teary eyes.

“This time I'll be the one that leaves.” and with that you were gone.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

It’s been months since that night in the girls lavatory, and you missed him. You wanted to visit him in the hospital wing once you heard what happened with Harry Potter, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. He left you, and you were tired of always going back to people who just hurt you.

Now here you were at the battle of Hogwarts, standing with everyone while Voldemort and his death eaters stood across from you all.

“Draco, draco come here” you heard narcissa call from across the scene. He looked hesitant, as if he was waiting for someone to stop him but no one did. So he started walking over to his parents.

But you grabbed his hand.

“Stay please” you whispered looking up into his eyes.

He looked back at his parents and back at you like he was contemplating his answer.

“I’ll stay”

If you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

—————-

tagging fun ppl nd ppl who interacted (so srry if u don’t wanna be tagged)

@hellohellook @astoria-malfcy @justfangirlthingies @sfdlm @falling-loki @notvasi @gwlvr @malfoytookmyheart

[kindofwriter]

Just that bit of 177, but as a TV show script, because I have Ideas and no animation skills.

ID (unfortunately) under the cut, bc it’s literally thousands of words long.

ZOLF: Wilde, just talk to me honestly. Why are you... why...

WILDE: (ANGRY NOW) I'll tell you what: I'll talk to you honestly when you talk to me honestly

.WILDE snatches his hand out of ZOLF's.

.WILDE snatches his hand out of ZOLF's.

.WILDE snatches his hand out of ZOLF's.

ZOLF: (HESITANT) I am-

WILDE: (INTERRUPTING) Just say- Just say the words! 'Wilde, we need you to fix it again. Wilde, it's gone wrong, help! Wilde, solve this problem! Wilde; won't take long!'

With each sentence spoken WILDE's appearance changes: we watch him grow older. First we see him as ZOLF first met him: older, but still colourful and fresh-faced. Then we recognise his shorn hair and gaunt features from Damascus. Then, a flash of the man ZOLF has known for the past year: hair at an awkward, choppy length, practical clothes, tired eyes. And finally: thin and exhausted, with a jagged scar splitting across his face. He remains this way as he continues to speak.

WILDE: (ANGER BLURRING INTO UPSET) Just give me one of them! Just talk to me honestly, for the first time! Just, what is it? What- What needs fixing? What's gone wrong? What's on fire? 

WILDE gestures, almost absent-mindedley, out of the window.

CUT TO WIDE SHOT OF ZOLF

ZOLF is silhouetted in front of the window, which no longer shows an idyllic Paris day, but is instead reminiscent of the riots and looting that ensued after Mr Ceiling. A plume of smoke curls up out of Eiffel's folly.

CUT BACK TO WILDE

WILDE: Who died? What do I actually need to fix here? Because right now, this is the first chance I've had in I don't know how long. I've got finals coming up-

Suddenly WILDE is young and irritated again.

WILDE: I've got all of the interviews that are lined up on top, and everything's piling up, and all I've got are people asking me to fix things, and I keep doing it, and I keep fixing everything, brilliant. So, tell me, Zolf, I thought we were friends, but no. What do I need to fix?

ZOLF takes one hesitant, shuffled step towards WILDE.

ZOLF: (GENTLY )You don't have any-

WILDE: (INTERRUPTING )Do you want to cheat off me? Is that it? It's fine. Cheat off me, like everyone else does. It's. Fine.

WILDE drops his gaze, turning towards the garden.

ZOLF: (ANNOYED NOW) You don't have uni! You don't have exams! You don't have interviews! You. Are. Dead!

WILDE turns slightly back towards ZOLF and strokes a finger along his face, where his scar used to be.

ZOLF: You have no responsibility anymore. And you don't need to have any responsibility anymore. That's okay. (SOFTER) But I'm giving you a simple choice: you come back with me, or you don't. That's it. There is no other motive.

ZOLF pauses as if he wants to stop, looking upset and annoyed, then forces himself to press on.

ZOLF: Yes, things are broken. And things need to be fixed, and things need to be sorted out, but that doesn't have to be on you. And it shouldn't be just on you.

ZOLF extends a hand again. WILDE doesn't take it, but he's taken his attention away from the garden.

ZOLF: We're all responsible, for everything. And you died, in pursuit of a fix. And it would not be fair for me to tell you that you have to come back.

ZOLF lowers his hand.

WILDE: So why are you here? What, what, what's your actual point?

ZOLF: (INTERRUPTING) To ask you-

WILDE: (INTERRUPTING) Why don't you just let it lie?

ZOLF: (SOFT AND GENUINE) To ask you if you want to come back. You didn't choose to die, but you can, right now, choose to stay dead. 

WILDE takes a moment to compose himself. He suddenly remembers the drink still clutched in his other hand and finishes it, setting his glass on a table by the door. A breeze from the park ruffles his hair.

ZOLF: I know, better than a lot of people, that death ain't the end. Y'know, I'm a cleric for goodness sake. 

ZOLF touches the space on his chest were his dolphin once hung, then quickly drops his hand again, as if he was burned.

ZOLF: So, there is a, a natural order to things. And people die, and they move on, and that's just how it works.

WILDE: I'm just tired, Zolf. 

WILDE hangs his head, allowing his hair to cover his face in the same way he would do when hiding his scar.

WILDE: That's all. I'm sorry, I'm just- I'm just-

WILDE sighs. ZOLF takes another step closer to him.

ZOLF: I know, Wilde, I am tired too.

WILDE and ZOLF share a glance, one they've probably shared on countless late nights in countless safehouses. WILDE is the first to look away.

WILDE: Everyone thinks that they're carrying this, but they're not. 'Cause you know what happens if they drop the ball? I pick it up, and I pass it to someone else, and if no one else is there to take it I carry the ball myself. That-that's just how this works, and I'm just- I'm just tired. I'm just so tired, Zolf. I'm just. So. Tired.

ZOLF takes one final step; he's now right next to WILDE.

ZOLF: Do you really think you're the only person who feels like that? Everyone feels like that, all the time. Everyone's tired. And everyone has work to do. And-

WILDE: So, what? We just go back and carry on until eventually we can't? That's not-

WILDE sighs heavily, trailing off. ZOLF clenches a fist in frustration, but doesn't let it show on his face.

ZOLF: (WITH AN UPSET TINGE TO HIS VOICE, BUT KINDLY) Not necessarily. Not if you don't want to. I told you, when I first came here, I will turn around and I will go back on my own, and that is fine. 

ZOLF grits his teeth a little as he says this: is is clearly not fine.

ZOLF: That is your choice. But I want you to understand the options.

WILDE takes a deep breath, then looks directly at ZOLF.

WILDE: Just give me a reason, other than because there's something that needs doing. That's all I need. Just one reason, other than 'there is another job for you, Wilde.' That's all I need.

ZOLF seems flustered under WILDE's intense gaze, and for the first time since arriving looks directly away from him.

ZOLF: Do you want there to be another reason?

WILDE: What did I just say? Obviously I do! Yes! 

The tension is broken; ZOLF looks back to WILDE. His brow is furrowed slightly, and he looks like he's trying to hold back what he's about to say next.

ZOLF: (EXTREMELY SOFTLY) Fine. (FORCING THE WORDS OUT, BUT REALLY MEANING THEM) Because I need you, Wilde.

ZOLF reaches out a hand, but doesn't wait for WILDE to take it this time; he just grabs WILDE's hand in his own. A small smile twitches at the corner's of WILDE's lips.

WILDE: (SLIGHT SMILE BLOSSOMING INTO A GRIN) And there we go. An honest answer from Zolf Smith. I never thought I'd hear it.

ZOLF: (WITH RELIEF AND ANGER, BOTH MOCK AND REAL)You were just angling for that?!

ZOLF drops WILDE's hand in an over-dramatised manner. WILDE is chuckling slightly.

ZOLF: (GRINNING) You bastard.

WILDE: No, I wasn't just angling for that, but it's nice to know.

WILDE tucks his hair behind his ear.

ZOLF: Well, I didn't wanna say, because it wouldn't be fair.

WILDE: Oh, nothing's fair.

WILDE gazes over ZOLF's shoulder at something for a moment. The window reflects in his eyes, and there appears to be a figure stood on the balcony, dressed all in black, looking out over the city. ZOLF whips round to see what he's looking at, but there's no one there, save for the toe of a boot disappearing upwards, as if someone's climbing up to the roof. All this takes less than a moment. 

WILDE: Look at it.

They're both looking out the window now - from a distance - watching Paris burn. ZOLF turns back to WILDE.

ZOLF: D- uh. D'you want to come back, or don't you? Like, yeah, uh, I-I've said it, I know. But it's still your choice.

WILDE: Here's the plan. We're gonna finish up these drinks, we go out there-

WILDE gestures to the doorway behind him, but as he does the already darkened park fades completely to black.

WILDE: We'll figure it out. We always do. It's fine. It's just useful to know I'm not just beating my head against the wall for no reason, Zolf, y'know?

WILDE smiles fondly down at ZOLF, allowing the backs of their hands to brush together.

ZOLF: Look-

ZOLF pulls his hand away, and for a moment WILDE looks hurt, until ZOLF grabs hold of his lapels and yanks him down to ZOLF's height. Their noses are almost touching. WILDE smirks coyly and ZOLF looks stoic, but both of their cheeks flush slightly from the proximity.

ZOLF: When this is all done we'll go on holiday or something.

A huge, Cheshire-cat-grin spreads across WILDE's face.

WILDE: Where?

ZOLF: (EXHASPERATED AND FOND) Oh, I don't know! I don't know where's gonna be left after all this is done. But somewhere nice. 

WILDE: (WITH MOCK SINCERITY) Zolf, I won't come back with you until you tell me where we're going on holiday together.

ZOLF: Such a dick.

ZOLF lets go of WILDE, allowing him to straighten up, but as soon as he does ZOLF grabs his hand again.

ZOLF: Come on.

With one final shared smile, WILDE pulls ZOLF after him into the darkness.

END ID].

[darlingpwease]

Oh cool!! Do they do it for any specific kind of frog? Or is it just any frog in general that will do the mutual relationship with them??? Either way, that's actually hella cute of them <333

Ofc!! I totally agree with you.

that persons who control and are aware of this are very good and hot.

YES YESS I feel like it multiplies too if it's mutual

Have you ever caught a crab from great depth?? Im glad you have fun with it tho :DD

I don't really have a favorite breed, I think they're all sweet. The job field I'm looking at will have me out of the house for some hours, so I think a pet that will be good alone would be nice. Tho, in all honesty, I'd probably get two because I don't want them to be alone :'))

But I think I'll properly think about it once I've graduated, yk?? Gotta get my footing first

Oh god, pikes seem to be biters, huh? Have you ever gotten bit by one before??

how experienced you are, dear <3

You too, Dove!! <33 I love hearing ur stories, they're so interesting to listen to!!

Parents are supposed to be there for their child, and I genuinely believe that if someone isn't ready for a child, don't have one. And sadly, some people also just aren't fit to be a parent either. It would be wonderful if all kids could have great parents /gen

BY THE WAY, MALEWIFE YUUTA??? Amazing, glorious, so good omgomg, tha anon who brought it up deserves great things because omg

-panna cotta

cw spider's photos (/hj)

tarantulas most often form such relationships with poisonous narrow-mouthed frogs, while other frogs are eaten <3

WITH DOTTED HUMMING FROG

however, there is a case when tarantula (aphonopelma) cheated on narrow-mouthed frogs with ditch frogs </3

even if panna cotta agrees with me, it means that I am telling the pure truth <333

I've only seen it happen <3 to be honest, when a cage full of crabs is pulled out in front of you, it leaves a deep impression,,,,,

I have never caught them at great depth, and although I know that something like this can be done with scuba diving, I have neither the opportunity nor, frankly, the desire — it sounds very dreary and problematic.

even if the crab becomes a big enough problem for the survival of the fish, since it has no natural enemies (except giant octopuses, but they are found only in the pacific ocean) and eats small fish and caviar, its population is not monitored, therefore it is difficult to get a quota for capture — the authorities have too little knowledge and fear that it will be exterminated, although it will rather exterminate everything </3

to be honest, I don't envy crabbers — catching crabs only to kill them, since only humans can regulate their numbers and not destroy the ecosystem, but it is impossible to sell them, since crab is considered a delicacy and an excess of supply will create price dumping.

ahhhh, thank you, precious honeybun <3333 almost everything that deals with hunting fascinates me.

except, perhaps, hunting ground creatures like rabbits or ducks — they are fun to catch, but it seems repulsive to kill. probably, this is our pacifist upbringing. were you brought up with the idea that animals are like people, dear? like, at the same level of self-awareness and "you need to handle them carefully".

even if I have already grown up, the thought of killing them for some reason either repels me or does not affect me in any way; I don't know if I will ever be able to understand the delight of chasing them. It's so easy to catch and cook fish, but I can't bring myself to do anything with a rabbit other than pet it. too soft-hearted </3333 /neg /hj

of course!

I also thought to afford something alive only when I get a stable job. even if having something that depends on me makes me more motivated and ambitious, it's kind of restless to have a pet </3 too much responsibility for me, I can't even look after myself </333

awwww, sweetest, nothing too serious has ever happened;;; I am too anxious and restless, and at the risk that I will be bitten, I prefer to reset than to play. If I didn't get the adrenaline.

if I get adrenaline, I usually get something else unpleasant, but this is not the most interesting stories /hj

I mean, I think even the most cautious person has a history where they succumb to more unreasonable feelings, and I have that too </333

they're so wonderful, aren't they? I am so lucky that sometimes they visit me <3333

haaaa, whenever I hear praise about some pie, I feel very proud; thank you <3

(I'm not sure which one you're talking about, but I can't pass it by, because 90% of all malewife content was created thanks to him, and we thank him for such a contribution.)

right? children are no longer a category "for everyone", they require much more resources, including mental and emotional, than society is trying to convince.

parents have become a much more important role now, when life expectancy is higher and childhood is getting longer, and they are connected with their children much longer than before, when they gave birth to twenty, so that at least three survived.

parenting and taking care of children has become an even more important concern, but some seem to ignore it, and it's sad. It is impossible to raise a completely healthy child, but it is possible to give them a good childhood and safety, knowing that they can always turn to their parent/parents </3

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Body |Peter's Turn

Part 2 of 2 (Part 1 -> here)

Masterlist

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: none (suspicions of cheating but no actual cheating lol just a lotta funny miscommunication)

Anon requested- can I get a one shot where the reader does the body positivity trend with the new megan thee stallion song and the reader is insecure about how ppl will react to it?? Most importantly how peter will react to it?? K thanks

A/N- Part 2 cuz I immediately knew what I wanted to do with this the second I got the ask. (Peter's turn)

---------------------------------------

When Peter heard that you'd been nervous about showing him your video, he freaked.

He thought he'd done something wrong. That maybe he gave off weird vibes or that he'd said something before that made you think he wouldn't have liked it. Which definitely wasn't true. He liked everything you did.

Well, except that one time you got bangs. He didn't really like the bangs.

Anyway, Peter felt like he needed to show you that he was okay with it all. That he was down with anything you wanted to do or show him.

He looked in the mirror early that morning and decided.

Peter wanted to show what he had to offer.

He looked down at your TikTok "body" video on his phone. He could do something like that, right? He was completely clueless, but he could at least try his best.

He pulled out his phone and texted the one guy he knew could help him out.

~~

PeterParkour🤟: i need u to teach me the lip bitey thingy

PrinceHarry👑: bro what

PrinceHarry👑: ???

PrinceHarry👑: what is that

PeterParkour🤟: like when u make yourself look all cool when u bite your lip

PrinceHarry👑: ...

PrinceHarry👑: oh

PrinceHarry👑: OH

PrinceHarry👑: 😂

PrinceHarry👑: lmao why do u wanna do that???

PeterParkour🤟: im trying to make a video for y/n

PrinceHarry👑: what kind of video 👀

PeterParkour🤟: NOT LIKE THAT

PeterParkour🤟: well actually

PeterParkour🤟: kinda like that

PrinceHarry👑: PETER WHATTTTT

PeterParkour🤟: ill explain later which penthouse are u at tonight?

PrinceHarry👑: the one closest to ur apartment

PeterParkour🤟: ok ill come over

~~

Now, on your end, school was kicking your ass.

You weren't failing, but the amount of make-up work you had was so far through the roof that you might as well be. And the teachers were hellbent on making it the hardest they could.

To put it short, you needed a break.

And the second MJ heard your tired, irritated voice over the phone, she was on her way over with chips, dip, popcorn, and movies. If there was anything to calm you down, it'd be a nice movie.

MJ had gone to your kitchen to make the popcorn and you were laying on your bed finishing up some homework, when you got a phone call from Harry. "Hello?"

"I didn't know you and Pete were sending nudes."

You paused. "What?"

He carried on in a nonchalant tone. "I mean, I never took you guys as the types to do that, but damn, you two really surprised me. Dude's really over here asking for tips and everything-"

You sat up in your bed, alert and highly confused. "Okay," you said, taking a deep breath" ....what, again, the fuck?" Harry continued to ramble but one sharp scolding tone stopped him. "Harry, shut up."

He paused on the other side of the phone and then suddenly his voice came back, extremely hesitant. "...wait, was I not supposed to say anything? Did I just fuck up?" He sighed. "Oops.."

"No, Harry tell me what the hell you're-" BEEP. You looked down and saw that he hung up.

Just then, MJ opened the door, hands full with freshly popped popcorn. "Okay, ready to get the movie started?" She walked to the bed when she noticed that you were practically frozen in your spot. "Um, [Y/N]?"

You looked up with glossy eyes and she immediately knew that something was wrong. "Dude, what happened?"

You frantically shrugged a bit, and then let out a shrill laugh, half confused and half preparing for the worst. "Peter's- um... apparently... sending nudes to...me....Harry... someone?"

"What?"

-

Peter had finally made it to Harry's penthouse.

"So, nudes?," Harry chirped, very amused as he opened his door.

"What nudes?," Peter asked as he stepped into the living room. "What are you talking about?"

Harry paused. "Wait, what were you talking about?"

Peter only stared back in confusion, leaving Harry to pick through his own confusion fragments of information. He quizzically looked at him. "But-..the texts?"

"Oh!," Peter laughed, moving to sit on the couch. "No, I wanna make one of those thirst trap TikToks for [Y/N], that's all," he explained with a shrug and a bashful smile. "She made one for me, now I wanna repay the favor."

"Dude!," Harry hissed out. "You should've just said that!"

"Well, how about you just need to stop making assumptions," Peter said with a slight frown, not understanding why his friend was so wound up.

"Well, I had to since you kept being so vague!"

Peter rolled his eyes and started towards the refrigerator, if not to actually get something to drink, getting away from a crazed Harry for two seconds would be enough.

When he sat back down, Harry started to speak again. "So, what did you need me for?"

"Oh," Peter mumbled, shifting in his seat. "Well, you know how to do that sort of... stuff, right?"

"You mean looking like a fuckboy?," Harry snickered. "Yeah I'd say that's well within my reservoir."

Peter gave his typical bashful look. "So... teach me your fuckboy ways?"

Harry grinned. "Peter. You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear you say that."

-

You held your phone in your handle, looking at Peter's contact number hesitantly.

"Just text him," MJ said with an eyeroll.

"But what if it's nothing?! I don't wanna be the crazy girlfriend!"

"But what if it's something?," MJ added. "Cuz if you put it off now, and it actually ends up being something, you'll be even more miserable than you would be if you just found out now."

You took a long breath and nodded. "Okay then I'll text him."

"But if it is nothing, you'll look pretty stupid jumping to conclusions like that."

You sighed. "So, no?"

"But then if it's something-" she continued, getting deeper underneath your skin with each word. "-you'll look even more stupid because you could've found out sooner and you didn't."

Finally quieting down from her rambling, MJ noticed you glaring at her. You sighed.

"So...do I or do I not text him?"

"Oh nah, dude. I mean, I wouldn't. After all, I'm not saying that I think it's something," she said with a shrug. "I'm just saying on the off-chance that it is, you'd be in bad shape."

"Okay can we please stop playing devil's advocate with my life?!"

"You know I love watching you squirm [Y/N]." "Anyway, I'm sure Peter's not cheating. The boys were probably just doing something dumb and Harry just explained horribly."

You bit your lip. "You sure?"

She shrugged. "Pretty sure."

-

"Okay, now lower the camera just a little," Harry instructed. "You gotta show the v-line, but still leave enough for imagination."

Peter dropped his arm and his posture and shot Harry an incredulous glare. "Harry, if you focused this much in school I wouldn't have to tutor you."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Just keep going."

This was the third picture taken and though it was out of his element, Peter strangely felt very confident with what he was doing. He never saw himself as ugly, but he certainly never saw himself as hot either. Not like Harry. But looking at himself now, with Harry's corny chain necklaces on and his hair scruffed up in a way he's not used to, he knew one thing for certain.

He looked good.

"Okay," Harry said. "Now the last one, actually needs to be some dumb picture someone took of you in your gallery."

Peter frowned. "Huh? But I'm on a roll here."

"Yeah but the whole point is that all of these pictures weren't supposed to be taken directly beforehand," he pointed out. "Since you're breaking that rule, you gotta throw in a cute dumb one to throw off your scent." He smirked. "Also, you gotta show the ladies and gents that you have a softer, funnier side."

Peter stared for a moment. "..why do you have this down to a science?"

"Says the science geek?," Harry retorted.

-

Peter spent the night at Harry's and they drove to school early in the morning. He was glad that it was Tuesday because your schedules made it so that you'd both have lunch together every other day.

"You sure she'll like it?," he asked Harry as they walked down the halls before lunch.

Harry rolled his eyes with a laugh. "You know, she asked me the exact same thing for you when she made her video?"

Peter nodded quietly, still feeling a bit down about you feeling bad about showing him that video. "Yeah, I know."

"Jesus," Harry laughed. "You insecure little dweebs are made for each other!"

"I'm gonna take that as a compliment..."

"As you should," Harry said with a shrug, as nonchalant as ever.

The two boys walked into the lunchroom and to the table they knew best. You and MJ were already there.

Peter could tell just by the look on your face that something was wrong. "Hey," he greeted cautiously. "Is everything okay?"

MJ glared at him and he looked to Harry, whose clueless face was not helping.

Finally, you looked up and sighed. "Pete, be honest. Are you cheating on me?"

What.

"What?!"

You examined the utter shock and terror in his face. It didn't look fake. He looked saddened and scared as he began to ramble. "No no! I would never! What even made you think-!"

His eyes caught yours as you looked over towards Harry sittting next to him. Peter turned toward Harry and then looked back to you in confusion. "Wait, you think I cheated on you with HARRY?"

MJ bursts out laughing next you. "Jesus..."

Harry scoffed. "Well don't sound so excited Peter, jeez."

You let out a small chuckle but kept your eyes on Peter. "It's just... Harry called me and...said something about nudes and-"

Peter's face grew even more contorted with bafflement. "Nudes?!"

Harry hit his forehead, finally understanding what was happening. "Ooooooooh, me and my big mouth..."

All eyes turned towards him. "What, Harry?"

He sighed. "This is all just a big mix-up." Harry nudged Peter. "Just show her the thing dude."

"What thing?," MJ asked.

Peter fished through his pockets. "Okay," he mumbled, a bit shaken up by what happened. He took his phone out and handed it to you. "Here."

You looked up and saw Peter looking down at you, waiting for your reaction.

"So, this is what you were doing yesterday?"

He nodded.

You blew out a long breath of relief. "You're not cheating."

"God no, babe, I'd never cheat on you," he cooed, stepping over towards your seat. "I know you were really nervous when you showed me yours, and so... I thought I should repay the favor."

He didn't even have time to breathe before you were on him, wasting no time in bringing your lips to his. He kissed you back, mildly aware of the people in the lunchroom around the two of you, but he still didn't care.

Peter pulled away with a smitten smile until he noticed blood on his lip. He wiped it away with his hand and frowned when he realized it was not his own.

You almost asked what was wrong when you noticed him looking at you strangely, but MJ beat you to the punch.

"Dude, you have a bloody nose!"

You gasped, picking up a napkin from the table.

Harry laughed. "Did you really just get a horny nosebleed?"

"Horny nosebleed?," MJ snickered.

"That's not a thing," you scoffed. "...is it?"

"It actually is," Peter corrected, blushing profusely and rubbing his neck. "Just glad to know you thought the video was hot."

"It was really hot," you gushed.

Peter grinned and pulled you close. "Aww babe."

MJ rolled her eyes. "Okay lovebirds, get a room."

-------------------------------------------------------

Lol I know this was pretty trash but I was just trying to get to sleep while I was finishing this

Tagging: @allegra-writes, @allegra-soleil, @yumings , @hey-its-grey , @spideyyeet , @sunkissedspidey , @tommyunderoos , @chaoticpete , @sovereignparker , @thesherlockianavenger , @bubblebucky , @eridanuswave , @ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr , @kidney9-9 , @gwenvrse, @the-weird-bisexual, @kelieah

[the-fiction-witch]

Blind Date p1

REAL LIFE

COUPLE TBS X READER

RATING ADORABLE AF

I sat with my friend luke as we had some coffee outside of a local london cafe. 

"How's things with you and arthur?' I asked before having a sip of my tea

"Great got the ticket confirmations for our trip to south korea" he smiled

"Awesome" I laughed

"You have got to get back on the dating game"

"Eh, I like dating I just don't like the apps and stuff you know, tinder is just people looking for sex I want something more then two shags and another blocked number" I sighed 

"You know I had this exact conversation with someone earlier" he laughs 

"Luke I am not going out with Mikey so his parents think he's straight we've been over this" 

"Not Mikey,"

"Who then?"

"A mate of mine, little older then you, into motorbikes, fits your aesthetic-"

"I don't need a boyfriend who fits my aesthetic"

"Don't you?"

"Shut up"

"And I was having this exact conversation with him this morning, he hates the Apps and wants to meet some nice girly for more then a fling"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, trust me dudes a boarded line technophobe" he says "I had to go over and show him why he kept getting instagram notifications"

Which made me giggle 

"You see, how about I see what he's doing and arrange you two a little blind date?"

"I guess so Luke" I shrug 

I sat at my vanity in my tights, bra and underwear, slowly taking my hair out each curler and brushing it down a little so the curls where not quiet so intense doing my make up nothing too heavy as it is first date and a blind date at that. Once I was done I got up and forced my heels onto my feet already hating it when my phone went off 

Luke: hey hun, your date just left and is on his way to the restaurant have fun you too ;) 

I slipped my dress on and packed my handbag slipping my Jacket over my shoulder, 

Y/n: okay tell him I'm on my way, how will I know him?

I locked up my house and headed down the driveway as my phone went off again 

Luke : he says he's waiting outside with a cigarette and a present for you

I was worried but I kept walking down the dark, half broken London streets, all I had to light my way was the street lamps and my phone as I followed the maps to the restaurant, the clicking of my heels against the pavement, the sounds of cars and buses rushing by, why did I wear these shoes? I hate these shoes. Why did I walk? Why didn't I just get a taxi? Ughh I am so having a large red wine when I get there. I saw I was just down the street from the place so I put my phone away and checked my make up and reflection in the window of a closed shop. I was all good so I took a breath a walked up to the restaurant initial I panicked as I didn't see anyone, but I saw a little down the street where some chairs and tables sat for the restaurant during the day, it had a black metal fence to seperate it from the rest of the pavement, a man stood there.

He was taller then me, if I had to guess from here he wasn't six feet but high fives atleast but I think the shoes helped. He had black dress shoes, a black pair of suit pants with something in his pocket, a tight leather belt a black button down tucked into the pants with a slight patten I wasn't sure what of in it, he had a black slightly trench coat like jacket over him a ciggertte in his hand, watch on his wrist, he looked nervous in his face even if he still looked attractive, his hair fixed to one side alot clearly still a little wet from where he had washed it. He was the only one around so I went closer catching his attention away from the ciggertte in his fingers, his eyes glanced to me looking me up and down quickly taking in alot of me much like I did to him moments ago. He put the ciggertte out on the metal fence and smiled 

"Y/n? By any chance?"

"Yeah" I nodded 

"Ahh great, I was getting worried" he says 

"Yeah I uhh I walked" I smiled "sorry luke didn't"

"Oh, Thomas" he smiled offering his hand 

"Lovely to meet you" I smiled taking it he gave my hand a gentle kiss 

"Lovely to meet you too, he uh he didn't say you'd be so beautiful" 

"Ohh well thank you very much" I blushed "he didn't say how handsome you where"

"Your sweet, ohh uhh I got you something" he smiled moving his hands to his pocket "I wanted get you a real one but all the shops where closed so I thought then you can keep it longer" he smiled heading me a silk rose 

"Ohh thank you, it's beautiful" I smiled happily taking it "shall we go?"

"Well if you'd like to have dinner with me?"

"I'd love to" I smiled offering my arm, he happily linked arms with me and lead me inside he delt with the hostess and we where lead to a table that overlooked the outside garden space of the restaurant closed up at the moment for the night I went to get my chair but he stopped me 

"No, no let me" he says pulling my chair out for me

"Ohh why thank you" I giggled letting him tuck it under me and then take his own seat across the table "your very sweet" 

"First impressions you know" he smiled fiddling with his hair 

"Can I get you two started with some drinks?" The waiter asked bringing some meal menus I hadn't even looked at the drinks one on the table already but I knew what I wanted 

"I'll have a large glass of red wine please" I smiled 

"Very good madam, and for you sir?"

"Uhh I'll take a large cola, I'm driving" he answered

"Aww don't make me drink all by myself" I laughed

"Ughh alright, white wine but make it a spritzer" 

"Very good," he says before heading off 

"Sorry I shouldn't" I began

"It's okay, your right. One drink with you isn't going to hurt" he says 

"So you drive here?"

"Yeah, it was pretty far so I just drove" he shrugs "you said you walked?"

"Yeah, I thought I'd have a wine and I didn't want a taxi"

"Perhaps if we… go out again I'll have to come by and pick you up" 

"If?"

"If" he smiled "you ever been here before?" He asked as we both glanced over the food menus it was all so impressive and I had no concept what half of it even was 

"No never, have you?"

"Once but they have… changed things since I was here last"

"What sort of things?"

"The thing I liked has disappeared from the menu"

"Aww that's disappointing"

"Yeah, but hopefully that will be my only disappointment this evening" he says gently moving his hand across the table so his fingers grazed mine not looking up from the menu as he did.��

"Let's hope" I smiled gently moving my fingers against his own the waiter returned and we out in our order and he dropped off our drinks "so? How do you know luke?" I asked 

"Uh, not all that well actually." He says "I went to school with arthur"

"Ohh, yeah I like arthur"

"I kinda think it's impossible to not like arthur he's a bundle of joy and enthusiasm" 

"He is," I laughed

"How do you know luke and arthur?"

"Luke and I where neighbors growing up, he's probably my best friend" I smiled "he said you uhh don't so all apps and all"

"Ohh no not really, I keep forgetting my phone does more then just… be a phone. I'm not good at all the twitter, facebook, and that sort of thing"

"Yeah me neither" I smiled just then our food arrived "so uhh… how long have you been single? If you don't mind me asking"

"Ohh uhh," 

"It's okay, I shouldn't have asked" I said playing with my food a little

"No, not it's alright, I understand if your curious" he says "about six, seven months now. So… not to long,"

"Six months isn't that long" I said more to myself 

"Yeah I know, it was uhh a quick seperation you could say" he says "do you uhh mind if I ask?"

"A year" I answered trying to smile 

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked"

"It's okay, he ran off. Cheated on me got another girl pregnant" I said 

"Y/n. I'm so sorry" he says taking my hand 

"It's okay, I'm good" I answered smiling at him 

"I feel like I have to tell you now since you told me" he laughs

"You uhh don't have to"

"No it's okay, moved to the other end of the world, missed her family and all, and then just broke it off said she found someone down there so" he says "very much done and over"

"I'm sorry"

"It's alright, if she hadn't then I wouldn't be on this nice date with you" 

"Smooth" I laughed having some wine

"I try" he smiled "sorry I haven't even asked you what you do or anything"

I explained my job to him as simply as I could and he did likewise explaining it in that wash where you never completely say what your job title is but give and overview of what you do, the conversation moved to family and such, and we ended up just chatting about everything and nothing for a good while until we had finished eating, our plates taken away just nursing our drinks 

"I uhh I have to be honest y/n." He spoke up

Yay, here it comes the this was really fun but I'm not feeling any connection or anything

"I uhh I really like you,"

I stopped short almost choking on my drink 

"Sorry I know it sounds a little strange when we have literally been on one date but, I really like you. And I would really like a second date if… you wanted to go out with me again?"

"Yeah I'd liked that" I blushed "I'd love to go out with you again Thomas"

"Great uhh when are you next free?" He asks 

"Well I have nothing going on tomorrow night"

"Yeah me either," he says moving his hand to ghost mine a little "anywhere you wanted to go?"

"I've been dying to see that new movie everyone's been talking about" I said moving my hand closer too "but since it a horror, you'll have to promise to hold my hand if I get too scared" 

"I'll happily hold your hand, weather your scared or not" he smiled taking my hand intertwining our fingers "shall we get the bill?"

"Yeah its a long walk home" I said 

"I'll drop you off home don't worry about it" he says as he got the waiter to bring the bill 

"You sure? I don't want to be any trouble"

"I'm sure it's no trouble at all. And I'll pick you up tomorrow for the movie" he says "ooh I should probably give you my number so we don't have to talk though Luke'

"Ahh yeah good point" I said as I got my phone and we traded numbers just then the bill came so I reached for my purse

"No, no I'll get it" he says getting his wallet from his pocket

"No I can't let you pay it's not fair"

"I'm more then happy to y/n, its a date put your purse away it's on me" he says putting his card on the table 

"We split it. I insist" I said putting mine with his 

"Alright, but I'm paying for the tickets tomorrow" 

"And I'll pay for the popcorn" 

"Alright love" he smiled

[retphienix]

It's been 6 years :)

On March 30th, 2015 I decided I wanted a gaming side blog. (so we're early, but shush, it's the month for me)

I didn't know what I'd use it for exactly, but I had ideas- something I always have even if most of them only get as far as daydreamin' or writing out before closing them :P

For proof on the lack of direction the blog initially had- the March 30th date is the anniversary of my first post, an in-depth and lengthy review of Dragon Warrior Monsters for the GBC.

If you know the blog then you know "Extremely long and in-depth reviews" aren't the norm around here. As a matter of fact, that first post is the ONLY one I've done!

The closest I've come to ever repeating that would be the (word of the day) Directionless video I put out on Hades to get a grip on the concept of making videos, but that wasn't nearly as much of a 'review' as that first post is.

Tangent, definitely planning on trying my hand at videos some more for the foreseeable future. Probably not gonna use the tagline Full Impressions that I tossed as a whim for the Hades video but yeah- I'm excited to try my hand at a few videos :) tangent over.

It didn't take me long to come up with what I'd like to do for the blog though :)

A few months later I liveblogged a challenge run of FFT where I used only Ramza- a solo run. - Which maybe only happened because I tried a nuzlocke run a year prior on my main account-

(Nuzlocke | FFT challenge run)

Thanks to that haphazard liveblog experiment I started to realize a couple things which became the primary motivators behind this blog.

1) I LOVE sharing experiences. No brainer, I'm sure, but being able to share my experiences, and compare them with others' experiences, and just that mutual sharing is uplifting and feels good to do.

2) Liveblogging is an EXCEPTIONAL motivator to buckle down and play all those games I said I'd play (cue everyone laughing because I'm still way behind and have an immeasurable backlog).

But I mean that, on both respects. I have plenty of motivators toward the blog today, but if I were to be concise it's pretty much "It's easier to beat games if I liveblog them- otherwise I get distracted and play other games" and "I love sharing experiences and thoughts with people about my favorite thing- games."

Since 2015 I've tackled around 70 games as full playthroughs, and an untold ton as one offs or just to ramble about for a bit.

I've had a lot of highlights over the years, and I don't talk much about it as an overall experience so I thought for the anniversary I'd try to do just that. Not everything- I can't say I have photographic memory that would bring all of it up without prompting after all :P But whatever comes to mind as I browse some of my old stuff- as well as some thoughts on what I'd like to see in the future.

It's gonna be a bit self-centric I assume as I type this preamble to it, so let me say outright that this blog wouldn't be half of what it is without all the people who've given it the time of day over the years.

From recommending games they love or appreciate, to comparing thoughts, to offering kind words for analysis I've done over the years, to pointing out when I'm dumb and misread a situation :P- to, yes, even the people who decided "Fuck this guy's ramble" and deleted my captions before reblogging my gifs way back during Hamtaro (Of COURSE I remember that! It's amusing lol).

This is better because of others, because of the interactions and the people I've gotten the chance to chat with or befriend. It's just a liveblog more or less, my own little bit of fun I toss out for myself if for anyone- so seeing others enjoy this or that from the work I put into sharing my experiences or thoughts is always a joy in itself :)

Anyway, onto selfishly rambling about some tidbits of the past :)

Also sorry but no, opted to not shove a ton of photos in, it does have a handful of links to old posts though :P

This'll be disorganized as heck as I'll add to it over time before I feel it's worth posting (or the tumblr post editor becomes a hassle and more or less forces me to).

First~

FFT Solo Ramza Challenge: Considering it was roughly the first thing this blog has done, it's also something that's stuck in my head a lot more clearly than most of the other stuff I've done to be honest lol.

In truth, this is partially because FFT is my favorite game, bar none. But it's also because the whole experience was pretty new to me. Prior to it I had really only done one self-imposed-challenge that wasn't requested by the game in some manner and that was a nuzlocke run of Blue version.

So adding a challenge to my favorite game was a fantastic experience!

Notes I just wanted to say today about that run: If anyone enjoys FFT I honestly recommend giving it a shot for the unique story it lends itself to. I do recommend skipping the rules until after the second battle but that's up to YOU to decide.

My first post on the subject is me complaining about spending 4 hours grinding out the second fight and, despite hyperbole being my natural state, that was NOT hyperbole.

It DID take 60~ restarts to beat. It DID take 4 hours. The reason is that that 2nd battle is RNG as HECK, you HAVE to have Delita do some meaningful actions, you HAVE to have the enemies miss and make poor plays, you damn near HAVE to crit a few instances to save yourself from taking too much damage.

It's a numbers game to the extreme, so I wouldn't fault anyone for 'cheating' and skipping the 2nd fight for the ruleset lol.

The memory that stands out the most for that run is actually isolated in a post in which Ramza (Purrick in this run) talks like a total badass as just ONE DUDE running into a room full of enemies. I just think on that as a great encapsulated view of what it was like. The run started off face grindingly difficult, but because FFT is a game that offers so much freedom to the player it was extremely easy to 'break' the game into making Purrick overpowered as hell.

That's something I love about some tactical RPGs, I love having the ability to play smart so that I can play stupid later on, and breaking the game into making him one shot god is certainly a good payoff for playing smart early on :P

RetQuick: I miss RetQuick, it was primarily a short experiment I did in 2015 where I'd play a game for a short span of time (REALLY short, like 10-20 minutes) and record that for the purpose of making gifs and saying a short piece on what I thought.

It's one of those formats where the purpose was pretty shallow- but had a reason. I wanted to try making some gifs with some tools that existed online, so I made an excuse to do just that.

I also wanted to play a TON of games, usually through emulation on my sister's PSP, and this let me do that.

These two minor goals came together and so I spent a while making RetQuicks which were honestly more fun to make than they had any right to be. I mean the gifs were tedious but the playing? The thought sharing? The end product ocassionally having more appeal than just a photoset? It was fun.

I'm thinking whenever I have trouble picking a game for the blog I'll revisit the format... sorta.

I already reused it for a short stint to show clips I had no plan on expanding into a playthrough, but that died as well as it was too similar to Tidbits posts (another tag I no longer really use).

My thought is to rebrand retquick as something of a tryout for what game comes next. Play a handful of my backlog games for an hour or so each and say some thoughts before saying which one I'll continue as the main game for that period of time.

Old Tag Stuff: One of those things that only sticks to me since I made the decisions but it's always funny for me to look back on my old posts because I was apprehensive as hell toward making my posts visible. The reason my early playthroughs on the My-Tags page are variants of Ret instead of just "The name of the game so people can find this post" is because I felt like a liveblog would just spam the tag to hell-

Something I don't remotely feel bad for doing anymore.

So I avoided getting any sort of spotlight for quite a while on the blog for little reason.

Why Retphienix?: This is just a dumb thought I wanted to share and I'm sure I've said before.

It stands for retro!

Yeah!

Ain't that dumb and also not a real shorthand? lol

I think I have some sort of deer in headlights anxiety towards naming things, I mean do you think I think Full Impressions is a good summation for a video? I don't. But perhaps that's overshadowed by the other inexperiences and anxiety driven decisions that had- doesn't matter.

Retphienix is Retphienix because I sat there in 2015 and thought "Well... what do I name an alt account?"

My main is Redphienix, which yes, is ALSO a terrible name AND is misspelled. But it's that because of sentimental reasons. As a kid I misspelled Redphoenix when making my gamertag (I knew how to spell Phoenix back then as well, I was too excited about xbox live and misspelled it) and it's become something of a sentimental misspelling.

So I wanted to make a mix on that for my game blog, but I had no idea what. In the end I thought "RetroPhienix? I don't know. Retphienix is closer to Redphienix. I'll do that" and so it was done.

And just like how Redphienix is both bad and misspelled but exists because of sentimental reasons- Retphienix has acquired the same 'flavor' in my eye lol.

Aspirations for the blog: I have no immediate ramp up plans or road map or whatever, and in truth I'll be happy if the blog stays just as it is forever- up until tumblr ends- I cry over lost posts- and I reopen it on another platform.

But I do have blurry half-considered daydreams that I'd like to see happen for the blog through some hard work or shifts on my part.

One is something I'm already doing kinda, hence my embarrassing means of bringing it up a lot lately. Videos- I want those. I wanna make some looks back on series people don't talk about that I enjoy, I want to make videos sharing my thoughts on games I beat for the blog (like what full impressions kinda was, but I don't think they'll have a unified name from here on out). Maybe retrospectives, but mostly when I think of making a video tied to retphienix or me in general it's me looking at a game that said something to me, and saying it louder with my own interpretations on it.

You know the kind, videos where they talk about a video game but not the whole thing- just a singular message they really heard loud and clear from it intentionally or not. I dig those and I know I end a lot of games having plenty to say that could be directed into such a format.

We'll see.

And I'm along for the ride on that one as well- currently I'm keeping my eyes on whatever is directly next, which happens to be "I plan on playing Omori, if it clicks as something to talk about I would like to take a shot at that in a video too!"

The other is that I'd like to build a small community. Wouldn't know the first thing on doing that in a modern sense, but just a little online friend group to chat with and play games together. Something that could open up multiplayer and coop experiences being better shared on the blog and would just in general expand my gaming to what it used to be back on the 360 when I had a large group to play with.

Since the 360 era ended I've pretty much closed off- stopped playing competitive games due to lack of interest- and slowed down to playing all games either solo, with randoms (and no mic usually), or with my cousin. It's a rare instance when I play with some good people like @gamesception or another friend of mine, John.

When I diverted from playing competitive games nonstop toward other genres I didn't intend to also cut out all my online gaming buds, it just kinda happened, and I never really put any effort into rectifying that.

So more or less I'd like to one day sit down and work on a discord server, and then buck up and put the leg work in to make some gamin' buds again, but that's such a vague concept anymore.

Sounds all sad and what not but it's more ambivalent, I made decisions that

changed how gaming worked for me after the 360 and this is just where it landed for better and worse- I'd just like to see if I can make it a little better :P

General things I think when I think retphienix: Honestly? I think of how much fun I've had over the years and how thankful I am to have had an outlet that encouraged me to explore more of the medium.

I REALLY love games. I went to college for games, I've written LEAGUES about games, I've played countless games, my childhood was games, my adult life is games- games games games yada yada yada.

So when I think of retphienix I think of how without it I probably wouldn't have explored a lot of the corners of gaming that I have.

I genuinely, and I mean this, might not have sat down and beaten FF7 for myself and would have considered the amount I played as a kid to be enough.

I might not have played Chrono Trigger yet, and I KNOW I wouldn't have played Chrono Cross, and I'm happy as hell to have played both of those. CT was a mind blowing moment for me that showed me just how good an RPG can be, and CC gave me miles to think of in terms of innovating an RPG and how beholden to the narrative a sequel should be (I don't feel CC should have been chrono at all lol).

I DEFINITELY wouldn't have given New Vegas another chance. And I know I'm a sourpuss on NV, I've been that way since I maxed my achievements on the 360 for it, but replaying it really did reveal to me how exceedingly negative I was being.

My memories had become "It's brown and a boring location >:(" and "The factions all suck and it doesn't do anything with the idea of bad factions >:(" and became "It's... a little brown guys, not a big fan of the area" and "They didn't do enough with exploring the gray factions" while adding "Wait. This is pretty damn fun. And 90% of the additions are stellar. And I forgot about Dead Money, my favorite dlc in any game ever with a story that tears at my heart every time I think of it, NV good actually?"

Faxanadu would have remained a cool game I saw on SSFF and not a game I played to the end and fell in love with the aesthetic feel it has!

Also that's a game I cheated like crazy on lol, I would do it again! Save state scumming games meant to be rudely difficult is only fair :P

I probably would have never sat down to play through Windwaker which was such a positive and uplifting experience that I now get the most relaxed and warm feeling in my heart when I see those blue waves.

There's so many experiences I would have left on the table in favor of like... putting more hours into a live service title or something.

Maybe, and no offense to my cousin or anyone else playing it, but maybe I'd be no-lifing World of Warcraft nonstop just stagnating my interest toward the skinner box mechanics of an MMO?

Some offense, actually but lightheartedly lol.

But beyond the entire games I've played for the blog, when I think retphienix I picture all the time making gifs, all those games I played on the PSP for short stints, buying a retron 5 to add to what I could explore and being stoked when they shipped a freebie box of old controllers to go with it, getting angry at the retron for being a Piece Of Shit lol, crying at the end of damn near every game with an emotional story because I'm a big emotional mess of a person who finds investing and crying at a story way too easy thanks to empathy pulls, oh!-

Getting excited whenever I found that I had a "*controversial*" opinion that no one would care about lol. Like the one that comes to mind is that I thoroughly believe that Dragon Ball Z II: Gekishin Freeza!! for the NES is WAY better than the fandom recognized and appreciated sequel/remake Dragon Ball Z: Legend of the Super Saiyan!

How many people do you hear talking about either game, let alone saying the NES game that is roughly half of the SNES remake is the better one :P But I stand by that! The SNES one is a remake of DBZ1 and 2 for the NES but it loses all the charm and some of the fun of the NES ones by being a lackluster SNES game!

lol

I admitted wholeheartedly that this post would be a lit-

little directionless (gotta love the new tumblr poster making me break sentences like that), but to sum things up.

It's been 6 years. It's been an untold amount of work to be honest- liveblogging a game, at least for me, hasn't been the easiest thing. It's a lot of thinking out my thoughts (heh), it's a lot of learning tools to make the capturing process possible, it's a lot of experimenting, it's a lot of writing and editing, and, well, sometimes it's just tough.

I mean I went to school for coding, not video editing, not writing, not image processing, not this or that- but this hobby has introduced a lot of things even if only at a VERY base level (I admit fully to using online alternatives to make gifs for instance).

I learned a lot about, well, a lot of things in order to use this blog to learn more about games- and all that work has become part of why I've loved all 6 years of this blog.

6 years of gaming, work, and you all- and it's been worth the investment :) Here's to many more and all of you whether you stumble upon this post or not- literally anyone who's interacted in these 6 years, thank you, and anyone who hasn't I offer you well wishes as well.

<3

[engagedtobefree]

I talked to Scott on the phone again last night, and now I'm worried. We talked for about 50 minutes and it was normal like our other phone conversations, except for a few things.

Scott told me I seemed kind of shy on Saturday, that I wasn't as talkative as I used to be. I can see what he meant; I had trouble making eye contact and I was really nervous. So I tell Scott I was just nervous and he said, "Oh, aight." I also wasn't flirty like I used to be, but only because I don't want to feed into any possible bad intentions. It's not how it was before when I felt more confidence about Scott's feelings toward me (though that certainly waxed and waned) and I was protected by being at work. Flirting now at my place could potentially lead somewhere.

Then I yawned, and I guess it sounded a little different cuz Scott asked me why I moaned. I tell him it was a yawn and then he said what sounded like, "idk, Dana." "What?" Then, to my surprise he responds with an, "Oh, Dana", making the "oh" sound moany. I instantly feel turned on. I almost respond with "are you the one moaning now?" but I stop myself and don't say anything back to him. I want to hear Scott's moans and sex noises, but I don't want to feed into this if all he is looking for is sex.

A few minutes later he mentions me in my "tight ass jeans and boots." I respond best I can, saying I do miss dressing up, and he says if he can make it over tomorrow (today, now) that maybe I could dress up for him. I tell him I can. Truthfully, most of my old jeans are too tight now since I gained weight and I haven't been able to lose anything yet. I have a pair I can probably wear though.

All of this makes me worried though. What if Scott really is just looking to have sex with me? What if that's all he wants? I can't tell because I notice things that could point to that or could point to him wanting something more. What if he doesn't only want sex and he just...can't help himself saying these things?

I'm terrified, not of Scott but of getting hurt. And if Scott were to hurt me in such a big way while I am pretty emotionally vulnerable and raw, idk how I'd handle it. I am still working on healing from past trauma with men and if another man were to hurt me right now, especially one I have my heart so invested in and am choosing to trust, idk what it would do to me.

I'm worried that I've waited all this time and hoped for a miracle just for Scott to come back only looking for one thing. This isn't what I waited for. I don't want to be called hot. Yeah, it's nice, but only sometimes; it just feels hollow hearing it over and over. I want Scott to also think I'm pretty. I want to date Scott. I've always wanted to date Scott. And while I want him in my bed, that's not how I want to start out. I know we already have an established relationship with each other, but I'd still like something more first.

Idk if I should bring it up to Scott if I see him tonight. Do I just come out and ask him what he wants and what his intentions are? I want to know, but at the same time I'm terrified of what the truth might be. What if he makes a move? That's going to be so hard for me because on one hand I'm going to really want it, and on the other hand it's not going to be how I want it. And if he makes a move, do I stop him and tell him I can't and tell him I don't want to get hurt, that I know we both are looking for different things? I can't just assume Scott only wants sex, but I need to protect myself. I'm also just at the tail end of my period, so I could always use that as an excuse, though he most likely won't care and I'd rather be honest than find an excuse.

I want to see Scott and I want him to come over, but now I'm also fearful of it. I will be away next weekend, so if I can't see him tonight I'm going to keep worrying about this for several more weeks. And that's just assuming I do get some sort of answer tonight. But how can I hide my nervousness? Normally, I can fake things fairly well when I want to, so unless someone really knows me and my energy, I could get away with faking being okay. I don't think that's gonna work with Scott though. He knows me and he can tell when something is off. It doesn't hurt to try, but I'm not confident at all that he won't be able to see right through it.

But then there's the other side of things.

I keep thinking about Scott saying, "Yeah, me too." when I said I want to consciously choose someone who I truly want to be with. Does Scott really want a relationship? How long has it been since he consciously made a decision to be with someone he wants? How long has it been since he followed his heart and went after what he wanted instead of what he thought was the right thing to do? Am I what he wants? When he stops to listen to his heart, does it tell him to make his way back to me? I have many questions about his response to me.

I also have doubts about my doubts. If Scott only wanted one thing then why would he talk on the phone with me every weekend and for long periods of time? Why compliment me in other ways and show his interest in what I have to say? Why open up to me about things when naturally he's very guarded? Why say that he missed me? Granted, that could all be a ploy to reel me in, but I don't think Scott is that deceptive, especially because he knows I'm into him so he wouldn't have to make all of these efforts. Also, why apologize for being a dick and hurting me, only to turn around and act that way and do it again? I mean, I have had men do that same thing to me on two different occasions, but I can't judge Scott by what other men have done. That wouldn't be fair. And Scott also asked me if I'm currently seeing someone or have a boyfriend. Why ask that if he just wants sex? Why should he care whether I cheat or not if I was with someone if he just wanted sex from me?

I also wonder why Scott was so surprised when he found out I haven't dated because of my feelings for him. Does he not think someone could have such strong feelings for him or that he's not worth waiting for? Does he really think I dated during the time we've known each other? Or maybe thought I did after he left?

I feel so lonely with all of these thoughts. I had my therapy session on Tuesday and I went over a few things, but since my conversation with Scott last night, more has come up. Who else can I go to? I wouldn't go to any close or casual friends with this, and if I told my best friends, I know they wouldn't be very happy that I even let Scott through my door. Even if I did ask for someone's advice, they can't tell me what the right thing to do would be. I am completely alone with this.

I hope this isn't a losing game. I want to be treated right, as it's been such a very, very long time since I have been, and even then, it didn't last forever. I don't think it's too much to ask for.

Also, the sun right now is inconjunt/quincunx my natal Saturn -__- like why did this have to happen right now, on the weekend?

Also, I follow YouTube and Instagram tarot accounts and they're always super accurate for me, but I figured I'll post one just this time on here since it's so related to this. I watched this video after I wrote all of the above stuff. I usually only choose one deck with the YouTube readings, but occasionally two decks will have equal energy, which occurred this time.

Group #2 - go with the flow and blend in to catch people in off-guard moments to see who they truly are. Observe them and listen more (as a Libra, I can very much get quiet and simply observe, which I have been doing with Scott). You are too tired to be in the spotlight and need time for privacy with your love life, not telling friends or family about it. You don't want to put yourself out there and invest in someone to realize this person was with you for the wrong reasons. You are not over-sharing at this time. You value yourself and don't want to get hurt, so you're guarding your heart. You're still open, but just getting to know someone. You know how far to go and when to protect yourself. You don't want to make the same mistakes like you did in the past. You want clarity and guidance. Someone may behave in a stupid manner and may try to play you, thinking they're smarter. However there is an opportunity with a dark male, whatever that means for you. This is more about energy than physical appearance, and could just be someone with a lot of masculine energy. You are highly desirable so this man wants to be closer to you. This person wants longevity with you, not a whirlwind affair. You need to let your wall down a little bit to let them know you're into them as they may question it and get insecure. Only do this when you're sure of who they are and their intentions. They are adventurous and spontaneous, and they may try to show off how cool they are. They may get clumsy and nervous though. You might have commitment-phobia and might want to run or self-sabotage. Avoid this. Someone will be offering genuine love and interest, so do not worry. Surround yourself with love and spend quality time with others in your life where you can let your guard down.

Group #3 - an earth sign (Scott is a Capricorn) is here as a romantic connection. It's only a matter of time before you connect and sparks fly and you know you're for one another (I'd like to stay sober now to really feel out his energy and the energy of our connection). They are very promising. Do not pre-judge this person and give them a fair chance. Don't jump to conclusions. Allow them the chance to prove they're trustworthy and worthy of being a part of your life in a romantic sense. Stick to making progress with other areas of your life. Someone you know is not dependable and sincere, so don't trust in confiding with someone else about this situation. They might be jealous (I can see this being my mom, as she gets very jealous whenever I am with other people). You may feel like something is lacking in your life, maybe caused by someone else. Someone may leave your life as this new person enters. You will be happy this person leaves. Be aware of any future problems, there will be signs from the universe. Zesty energy, emotion, and passion is coming. Your guides are trying to protect you from yourself. Don't let your anger take over or you'll be sorry. Try not to be triggered by others. You're being called to take yourself on a date and spend money on yourself. Remember to practice self-love. You can only feel fulfilled in your love life if you feel fulfilled in yourself first. Others may set their own expectations for your love life. Don't seek others approval. Remind yourself we are not separate from each other. We are all energy. Don't be judgmental just as you don't want to be judged. Your love life will be full of generosity and spending time together. Your dreams can become your reality, but you need to make the effort. (I feel like maybe I need to focus on my healing more often than I am). Put yourself out there. (ugh. Scary). Someone is feeling like it's time to let go of holding on too deeply and may not think you'll ever end up together. Could be someone you friend-zoned and they will finally give up on you and see you moving on. (I've friend-zoned quite a few people, so it's possible).

So yeah, I guess July has a lot of potential, and both readings were scary-accurate for how I'm currently feeling and perceiving things. So either Scott is out to deceive me or he has really good intentions. Guess I'll find out soon.

[ma-gic-gay]

For some reason, Michael had been a lot more controlled lately.

He was hiding what he felt, never really showing emotion unless it was anxiety about Brook Lynn or happiness around Willow. Sometimes, of course, he'd show emotion but not normally.

The gym was the only place he really let out all his anger, as always, but lately he'd been punching the bag harder, working out more intensely. Maybe it was because he was trying to get into shape, but Michael was already in great shape. So maybe it had something to do with the fact him and Willow were getting an annulment and he hadn't done anything to try and stop it from happening. For God's sakes, he'd suggested it, thinking Willow needed to hear she had an option.

Dante was right. He is an idiot. Suggesting that him and his wife - the woman he's in love with - get an annulment may have been the stupidest thing he's ever done, and he killed someone, kept a kid away from his dad, and did a lot of other morally questionable things in his life.

Willow knew all of this and still spoke his praises. She still told him he was a good person, that he's different than he was when he kept his little sister from his dad, or killed Claudia. She thought he was amazing for changing his life around, told him she was a different person back then too. People evolve and grow, she said, and so whatever you've done in the past, it doesn't reflect on who you are now.

They met, and then he fell. It was slow, him falling for Willow. At first, it was just a friendly face at their support group. Eventually, though, it became more than just friendship. It became a marriage, a marriage built upon love for their son and keeping him safe, a marriage built upon truth and honesty in the face of dishonesty and lies that Sasha and Chase had told them. When they got married, that was their promise. No lies, never. Lies complicate everything too much, make it easier to fall into what Chase and Sasha did.

She was way, way out of his league and he knew it too. Willow was a genuinely good person, who had always been honest and kind. Not to mention, drop dead gorgeous. So that probably had something to do with the fact Michael was skirting around the one rule of their marriage and not telling her he loved her. But she hadn't asked, so technically he wasn't lying to her, just holding back the truth.

Thinking about he suggested the annulment, Michael punches the punching bag harder. All of his anger starts to leave as he punches harder and harder.

And then Chase and Sasha walk in the gym for their workouts, talking about something. The punches hit an abrupt stop when he notices them, but the anger that just left comes back tenfold. Sasha smiles at him, but there's something off about her in general. It's probably just the breakup.

"I just realized, I forgot my phone at the Metro Court. I'm gonna go back there," Sasha says, backing away.

When she leaves, Chase is still there. "It's been a while," he breaks the silence.

"Yeah, it has been," Michael agrees, frowning at him.

"If you want, I can come back later, or we can work out together," Chase offers.

Michael ponders the offer for a minute. He either gets a workout partner or ends up keeping someone from the gym. "Yeah, sure, we can workout together."

A few minutes into their workout, Chase brings up Willow. Before that, the conversation had been all about sports and stuff like that, easy conversation. "For whatever it's worth, Michael, Sasha and I never meant to hurt you or Willow."

"Well, you did. Regardless of intent, you both cheated on people you supposedly loved," Michael says, punching the mitts harder.

"I do love her, Michael, you've got to believe me on that," Chase tells him. "That's why Sasha and I didn't want to tell either of you, we didn't want to break your hearts."

"You don't love her if you can break her heart, Chase! If you could cheat on her, if you could want another woman, you don't love or deserve Willow. She loved you with every fiber of her being, and you broke that. You broke something precious," Michael says to him, feeling a sense of relief as the words leave his mouth. "And I know that will never happen again."

Chase looks confused. "Michael, I love her so much. It kills me to see that she's not with me, to know that I broke her heart and that she's moving on with you, who I considered to be my best friend."

Huh? They've only kissed once, and Michael doesn't think Chase knows about that. "What happens with Willow and I hasn't been your business for a long time and it still isn't, but I want you to elaborate."

"You- maybe it's her that's in love with you, I don't know, but I can tell one of you is in love with each other, at least," Chase says as his phone rings. He steps away to answer it.

It's possible Willow's in love with him too? Michael had been in his head so much, maybe he didn't see what was right in front of him.

"Look, I hate to put a stop to our workout, but I've got a work thing. I'll see you later maybe," Chase leaves the gym.

Jason walks in, confused by what's going on with his nephew. "Why do you have that look on your face, Michael? What happened? Is Willow alright, Wiley? Your mom?"

"Jason, everyone's fine. It's just something Chase said about Willow and I, that's all," Michael reassures him.

"You only get that look on your face when you noticed something great or terrible happened, so what great thing happened to you?" Jason asks.

Michael smiles, "Chase said that apparently Willow's in love with me."

Confused further, Jason asks, "Are him and Willow close enough where they talk about who they're in love with now? Because the last I knew, Chase was in love with Willow and she was in love with him and you two were getting an annulment and you were in love with Sasha."

"I can't believe I forgot to tell you! Sasha, she was great, but I'm not in love with her anymore. The longer I spend thinking about Sasha and I, we weren't going to last long term. As much as I loved her, and I did, I don't feel that anymore."

Smiling at his nephew, the assassin asks, "But you and Willow?"

"We're married. I'm married to a woman who is incredibly out of my league and adopting my son. I-I love my wife, Jason. I love Willow," Michael smiles.

Jason pulls him in for a hug, saying, "I think you two make a lovely pair, especially if she makes you this happy. You're smiling wider than you have since you won custody of Wiley. Do you want my advice?"

"I'd be dead if I didn't take your advice," Michael truthfully tells his uncle. "So yes, I'll take it."

"Tell her how you feel before the annulment, Michael, please. You do this thing, I do it too, where you wait to say what you feel or you don't say it because you're afraid of what you could do if you actually said what you feel. Let down your guard and tell Willow the entire truth, nothing left unsaid between you two," Jason advises his nephew.

"When do you think I should tell her? Should I set something up like a date thing or-" Michael starts, anxiety creeping up into his voice.

"I think you need to breathe deeply for a few minutes and be calm," Jason emphasizes his breathing, "but I also think you should just tell her. Don't stress out so much or overthink it, because overthinking messes things up. If you tell her, honestly, how you feel, let her respond, you'll be okay."

"And if she doesn't love me back?" Michael asks anxiously, starting to stutter.

"I doubt she doesn't love you, Michael," Jason tries to assure him, "but if she doesn't, we'll cross that bridge when we reach it, and you're getting an annulment anyways."

Michael breathes, letting his anxiety leave. "Alright. I'm gonna go get cleaned up, I'll tell her when I get home."

"I'll leave you to it," Jason says, leaving the gym as Michael showers.

Arriving at the Quartermaine mansion, Michael can tell something's up. Opening the door, he sees Chase. In his home. Talking to Willow, who Michael can tell isn't in the mood but is also intrigued.

Chase leans in to kiss her, their lips connecting briefly as the door closes behind Michael and he doesn't, turning his head abruptly. "Hi again," Chase says awkwardly.

Calming himself, Michael asks, "Why are you in my home kissing my wife?"

Willow walks over to her husband, glancing at Chase fleetingly. "I can explain," Chase stands, eyes following Willow.

"Then please explain what inspired you to come into my house, which is very out of your way, and kiss my wife. I'm sure it'll be enlightening," Michael responds.

"I was just talking to her and realized that she loves me as much as I love her so I kissed her," Chase smiles, getting a pair of glares in return from the married couple, who don't seem to agree with what he said, especially Willow.

Michael looks at Willow, who looks visibly upset and anxious, as he says, "You tell me an hour ago you think she loves me, then you come to my house and kiss my wife, who you cheated on, by the way, and somehow think you're justified? Chase, you're playing mind games is all you're doing."

"When I said she loves you, I was wrong. I know, in my heart, that Willow and I will be together," Chase smiles again. "So I kissed her."

Anger takes over Michael as he fights for controlling it, suppressing it until he can get to the gym but he can't hold back anymore as he shouts, "Do you think, truly, that if she loved you she wouldn't tell you? You broke her heart, and yet you're justified in kissing her because you can rationalize anything, can't you, Detective?"

Willow looks at Michael, confused, as she's never seen him like this before. However, his rant continues. "When we found out you two had cheated on us, I told you that I wasn't going to let someone treat her like that ever again, and I'm still not. Everything I said to you that day was completely true, so leave my house before I do something you'll regret."

"What did I do here to make you so angry?" Chase asks calmly as Dante walks downstairs.

"You think this is just you kissing her, Chase? You broke everyone's heart, even your own, and now you're trying to escape taking any responsibility whatsoever for your actions by kissing my wife, because you can't move on!"

Dante tries to intervene, standing between the two as Michael still yells, "I can't believe you act like this now but an hour ago you were convinced that she loved me. Chase, I love Willow, and I'm her husband, so it's my job to make you realize that you need to get out of my house before I do something we'll both regret!"

Willow looks at Michael, pulling him out of his anger and into a soft face he makes around her. "You love me?" She asks, a small smile playing on her lips.

"This isn't how I intended to tell you, but yes, I love you, Willow. I had a speech to go with that too, but life doesn't always work out how it's planned," Michael says, smiling at her. "But if you don't feel that way back, then of course we'll just forge-"

She cuts off his anxious ramblings by kissing him, the pair melting into the kiss that felt perfectly right. When they pull apart, she smiles widely at him. "I love you back," as they kiss again.

"What the hell, Michael?" Chase asks, ruining the sweet moment for the two. "You're supposed to be my best friend."

"And you were supposed to leave my house," Michael's voice is at an icy level, one that could explode at any second if tempted to. "So leave before I have a guard throw you out."

Dante smiles at his little brother as he addresses Chase, "Leave dude. It's clear you're not getting her back."

"I can't believe this. Willow, you know that he's just your rebound. You don't love him, you're going to come back to me," Chase says.

Michael, unable to deal with this anymore, serves a strong right hook to Chase's head area. Jason taught him how to punch and how to take a punch when he was in high school, Michael's pretty good at it by now. "That was on purpose and assaulting a police officer!" Chase shouts at him. "You're under arrest for assaulting a police officer. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be provided for you."

"Chase, stop! Don't arrest him because you're mad at me," Willow pleads, looking upset. "Please."

Looking at Willow, Chase takes Michael and handcuffs him. "No."

The ride to the police station is absolutely silent, Michael angry and happy at the same time about Willow loving him back but him being arrested for punching Chase.

When he's being processed, Michael's allowed to make his two phone calls they allow and calls Willow. "Michael? Are you okay, did Chase hurt you? Have they detained you yet, or processed you fully?" She anxiously asks, sounding just like any wife would when her husband gets arrested. Michael can't help but chuckle quietly. "Why are you laughing?"

"Willow, I'm fine. I need to be bailed out, but I'm absolutely fine. No one hurt me and I'm being processed again but I'm not injured except for my ego. You sound so much like my mom everytime my dad or Jason gets arrested right now, it's funny."

"It's stressful having your husband in jail for punching a cop!" Willow laughs back. "How much is bail?"

"Bail is $1,000. I wanted to let you know I'm okay, but I'm gonna call Jason for bail money. He's been through this before and won't be as much of a stressed out mess as you," Michael tells her, smiling.

"I can handle bailing you out, but you're right, I'd be too stressed. I'll meet you at the station, though, and hopefully you'll be out as I'm there," Willow chuckles with her husband. "Alright, well I'm not gonna keep you any longer. Go call Jason."

"I love you," Michael smiles as a way to end the call.

"I love you too," Willow says as she hangs up the phone and he swears, he can hear her smile through the phone as he dials Jason.

"Jason Morgan," he answers the call.

"It's Michael. I'm at the station and need $1,000 for bail money because I punched Chase. Can you bail me out and not tell my mother?" Michael asks.

"Why the hell did you punch Chase?" Jason asks him.

"He kissed Willow and started saying she was in love with him, even after she said she's in love with me and we kissed again, twice," Michael smiles again, thinking about the kisses.

Jason sighs. "I'll be there in twenty minutes. Should I be expecting to see your wife there, pacing?"

"Probably not. She's going to be here, but I don't think she'll be here for a few minutes after I get bailed out. Are you telling my mother about this?" Michael asks again.

"I'm not dealing with Carly finding out you got arrested. You can."

"Thanks, Jason. I'll see you soon."

The twenty minutes pass and Chase continues booking him in, taking pleasure in it. It's sad how what was once a beautiful friendship is now so pathetic that he's booking him into a jail cell.

Bail is given, and Michael gets out roughly fourth minutes later, being uncuffed and getting his cell phone and wallet back. Willow isn't there yet, but Jason is and looks like he's trying not to laugh as he hugs his nephew. "Michael, your parents and I have always told you to follow the law. A part of the law is not punching police officers," he says in a fake stern voice. "You're so lucky that they didn't have to call Carly or she would've been down here raising hell and you'd be either let go free of all charges or she'd be in jail too by now."

"I know. Mom's not exactly silent about her beliefs," Michael smiles as their hug ends.

Willow runs into the station, clearly stressed but holding it together as she runs to him. "You're okay? Nothing happened? Did Chase drop the charges?"

Michael hugs his wife, glancing at Jason in his happy moment. "Willow, look at me. I'm fine. Nothing happened to me and Chase agreed to drop the charges because it's a first offense. All that's been injured is my ego."

Smiling at the sight in front of him, Jason says, "I think that it's safe to say this is a sign you're really married now, she's worried you got hurt in your short jail stay."

"Hey, we've been married for months!" Willow objects, chuckling as Dante walks in casually with Wiley in a stroller.

Dante greets the staff he knows and says to Wiley, "See Daddy? He did a bad thing to Chase and now he had to get bailed out. But it looks like him and Mommy are finally admitting they love each other, so something good happened."

"Uncle Dante is a little bit too excited to see me bailed out, isn't he, Wiley?" Michael asks, pulling apart from his hug with Willow to take his son from Dante.

"Yes, I am, little brother. If you weren't an idiot, we wouldn't be in this situation," Dante cheekily responds. "As cute as this moment is, I'm going to leave you two to it and go do something else. Jason, Carly needs us for something. I will be telling her that you got arrested, Michael."

Michael glares at his brother while he leaves the station. "Great, now my mother's going to be mad at me too."

"I'm not mad at you," Willow tells him, smiling. "I think he deserved it and abused his power. And I think Mr. Wiley agrees with me."

"I think Wiley would have to agree with me as well that he's got the greatest mommy in the entire universe," Michael smiles at her.

"Greatest parents," Willow corrects him, kissing him again. "You don't give yourself enough credit."

Their family leaves the station together, laughing.

aH

[briannafrostgirl]

Paper

An original story by BriannaFrostgirl

The prison cart shook violently with every bump of the road, which were numerous on the clay roads of Lemoyne. With each bump, the shackles that were wearing into Brianna Murphy's wrists and ankles rattled like an angry ghost. She'd long since given up on trying to pick the lock. Her fingers never had been well suited for such fine work and as such her skills were more than a little rusty. Her charm on the other hand...

The bounty hunter was a woman and a beautiful one at that. And well, Brianna had always had a way with the ladies...

The hunter was dressed smartly in shades of grey and black, with a red tie around her neck providing a splash of color and a gold pocket watch tucked into her best pocket. Her curly brown hair was tied up in a simple ponytail, her posture was impeccable, and she had just the right amount of sweat on her brow. She already looked plenty formidable but it was her eyes that told the full story. Deep brown and full of loss and sorrow and determination. The eyes of a woman not lightly crossed. She was focused on the road but Brianna had no doubt that she was more than ready to use the Lancaster repeater on her lap at a second's notice. She was taciturn but the smallest smile played at the corner of her lips, giving the Irishwoman the confidence to try.

"That's a fine gun," she said cheerily in a thick Galway accent. "Looks like it's got a custom frame and grip, if I'm not mistaken."

"You are not," the hunter replied with a little smile, brandishing the gun like a proud mother. "She's my pride and joy, so I keep her well maintained. Only the best for my baby, right? You like her?"

"Oh aye, she's a masterfull piece of work alright," Brianna replied with a grin. "As is the woman holding her."

The other two prisoners - a couple of Lemoyne Raiders who didn't know about bathing or laundry from the smell of them - both groaned but the hunter let out a little chuckle.

"You comin' onto me, miss?" She asked

"Depends. Is it working?" Brianna replied with a smirk.

"Only a little," the hunter laughed. "Not enough to let you out of that cage of that's what you're wondering."

"Would it help if I said I was framed?" Brianna asked playfully, batting her eyelashes coquetishly.

"Well, I got a paper here says you killed three men in Valentine" the hunter replied, brandishing the paper in question. "That true?"

"Well, you're missing some crucial context there..."

"Which is...?"

"They took my hat," Brianna shrugged. "And they cheated at cards. They were assholes, no one will miss em."

"Well that clearly ain't true since someone put a price on your head, Miss Murphy," the hunter chuckled to herself.

Brianna sighed and slumped back down in her seat.

"Looks like you done struck out," one of her traveling companions said with a gleeful smile that showed off his three remaining teeth. "I always heard you Brits was queer but Lord knows I didn't know how right that was."

"Shut your mouth or I'll have to be hanged for four murders instead of three," she replied sulkily.

"Save your threats, Irish," Toothless chuckled. "We'll be out of this cage soon enough. The Lord provides. Or in this case, my brother."

Brianna looked up from her shackles, her eyes narrowed. "Your what?"

BOOM!! The cart was thrown to the side of the road in an explosion of dirt and fire. Brianna could hear the horses bolt, could feel the blood slick on the back of her head. And she could see the other two prisoners gleefully slip out the back, cheering and hollering like wild dogs. With a groan, Brianna rolled out of her seat and followed them.

The side of the road had been torn apart by dynamite, leaving a deep rut that would no doubt annoy travelers for years to come. Toothless' compatriot had his shackles around the hunter's throat, a revolver to her head. Another man in confederate wear, the brother, she supposed, was busy breaking the lock on Toothless' handcuffs.

"What did I tell you, Irish?" He chuckled gleefully. "The Lord provides..."

His chains broken, the talkative bastard bent down and scooped up a revolver from the dirt, tossing it into Brianna's outstretched hands.

"We gotta get outta here, Clem," his brother said, his eyes flitting every which way - a walking, talking bundle of nerves. "No way the sheriff in Rhodes didn't hear that blast."

"In a minute," Toothless replied, rolling his eyes. "Jesus, Joe, you worry too goddamn much. We gotta deal with our captor first..."

He chuckled gleefully, picking up her repeater and reloading it.

"Jesus, Clem..." Joe groaned. "Just put a bullet in her head and let's go."

Brianna winced in spite of herself. "Isn't that a little excessive? Why don't we just tie her up and be on our merry way."

Toothless let out a nasty gaffaw. "You going soft, Irish? You caught feelings for this bounty huntin’ piece of trash."

He approached the hunter, getting his face within inches of hers. "Don't you want to get even with this bitch? She was gonna hang you..."

Brianna rolled her eyes.

"I think I'm gonna make it slow..." Toothless added, his voice getting even nastier if that was possible. "A drop of blood for every one my brothers she's seen hanged."

The hunter gave Brianna a determined stare. "You really sure these folks are the kind you wanna associate with, Miss Murphy?"

Brianna looked at her feet. "It's better than dyin'."

"Is it?" The hunter's gaze remained fixed on Brianna, ignoring her captors entirely. "I don't know about you, but I'd rather die with my honor intact than throw in with these inbred bastards." 

"Shut the hell up," Toothless growled, jamming the gun butt into her head. "Maybe I should just put a bullet in you right now."

Despite the blow, the hunter's gaze remained fixed on Brianna.

She sighed and cocked her gun. "Fuck it."

And with the speed and ease of a practiced marksman, she spun her revolver up and put a round into Toothless' skull.

"What the hell???"

Both Joe and the man who was holding the hunter turned their guns on Brianna, their faces full of shock as their compatriot's lifeless body slumped to the dirt. Quick as lightning, the hunter jammed her knee into her captor's groin, causing him to double over in pain and drop his revolver into her waiting hand. She spun it with grace and put two shots into Joe's chest. Before he even hit the ground, she had put a round into the third man's head and easily extricated herself from his grip.

Brianna stared at her, dumbfounded. "You... You didn't need my help at all, did you?"

The hunter winked at her. "Not really. But I wanted to see what you'd do."

Brianna's cheeks flushed. "I guess we’ve got a stop to make in Rhodes, huh?"

"I guess that depends on you..." The hunter smirked.

She pulled a piece of paper from her vest pocket and wrapped it around her revolver, tossing it to Brianna. She unfurled the paper, her jaw dropping at its contents.

"A bounty hunting license?"

"It pays the bills and it's good honest work," the hunter replied. "And as long as you're doing good, honest work, you and I don't have a problem."

She held up Brianna's wanted poster and tore it in two. "Just try not to shoot anybody else over cards, okay?"

Brianna grinned as she pulled off Joe's gun belt and slipped her two new revolvers into it. "No promises, but I will try."

"Fair enough," the hunter laughed.

She glanced around at the carnage around them, her hands on her hips.

"Well if you wanted to start on your new line of work early, I got three bodies to take into the sheriff in Rhodes and no wagon to transport them," she said with a smile.

Brianna shrugged and hoisted Toothless' corpse up onto her shoulder. "Well I got nowhere better to be, so..."

As the two women headed off down the road, hauling the three confederates along with them, Brianna glanced at her new traveling companion.

"So, uh... About earlier. I didn't have a shot with you, did I?"

The hunter gave her a playful grin. "Well, buy me a drink once we hit Rhodes and we'll see..."

[80s-roger]

EX - Roger Taylor {pt 6}

click here for the previous chapters!

word count 2,3k

your opinion really matters to me!

new chapter soon!

on with the story!

studio 6:34 pm

"So she agreed?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, she had no other choice." Roger nodded while setting the drums up.

"Well, fingers crossed he won't do anything until the conference. It's the day after tomorrow." Brian said while taking a sip of his tea.

"I know right Brian. If he does though? He will definitely say that Y/N cheated on me. This is how it will be presented at the press. He will definitely hide himself, won't he? All he wants to do, is embarrass her." Roger said in despair.

"He will hide himself. He's not that stupid to expose himself. But he's the one who will sell the tape. Suspicions will go to him anyways..." Brian thought.

"I bet he knows some guys there. Or else he'd be already exposed." Roger grabbed the drums sticks, playing with them nervously.

Suddenly, Deaky came inside the lounge. He was carrying some papers. New song.

"Are you talking about y/n or the new single?"  He asked.

"Y/N's issue is more interesting than the upcoming album. You know we hate disco." Brian explained.

"I understand that y/n's and Roger's life will be at risk for sometime but it will be forgotten. However, according to the new album, it's a new vibe Freddie and I wanted to invest in. It's fifty fifty so disco gets in and you have no other choice but play." Deaky smiled and gave them the score and the lyrics of Backchat.

"What the hell is this, are you dissing me?" Brian asked after reading the lyrics.

"That's your idea." Roger mocked him while smoking and Brian looked at both of them annoyed.

"John come on, you don't really mean all this, do you?" Brian asked confused. Deaky raised his eyebrow. "Damn you John. I'm forced to play your diss track about me? And I have a guitar solo?" He acted insanely.

"I'm sorry Brian, we are a band. We should start playing it." Deaky smiled.

"Fine, I won't use my red special. Neither at the future music video." The three of them stood up. "But where's Freddie?" He asked.

"He is outside, talking on the phone." Deaky said pointing at the exit.

"I'll go tell him we're starting." Roger said and exited the lounge room.

Accidentally Roger, misheard Freddie's conversation with a press guy. Possibly, a photographer. Roger had to eavesdrop. The issue seemed familiar with his personal life.

"He sold an uncensored video? To whom?" He asked shocked. Roger knew it was over. "At your company? Today?" Freddie sounded upset. "Fuck..." He groaned. "How am I supposed to tell him? Did he give any personal details of him?" Roger had to step in. He wanted to know.

"Freddie who are you talking to?" He asked furious. Freddie made him the hang on a minute gesture.

"Do we have much time left? Until the day after tomorrow?" He asked. "Hmm... I see. I have a recording now. We'll talk again, darling. Thanks for letting me know." Freddie hang up the phone, facing Roger.

"Who was it?" Roger asked. "I'm not playing games Freddie." He turned red.

"Wow darling, relax. It was a friend of mine, who works at the press magazines. There was Derek at his office a quarter ago, giving a tape and saying that there's Roger Taylor's girlfriend in there." Freddie had to say the truth, what he was exactly been told.

"Fucking fuck..." Roger moaned, pulling his hair.

"My friend unfortunately wasn't alone at the time he received it, but with a paparazzi, editing the photos for tomorrow's issue. Which means..." He moved his head disappointed.

"They saw the video oh my god. My baby's out there getting watched. I can't stand the idea of her-" Roger covered his head and Freddie pulled him closer.

"Hey darling it's okay, it's okay... He'll try to delay it. The good thing is, he didn't give personal informations. Which means you can invade, saying it was you." He tried to calmed him down but it wouldn't help.

"How much?" Roger asked furious. "How much did he sell it?" He was afraid.

"He sold the tape a hundred thousand, saying it will be the scandal of the year. The drummer's girlfriend with a guy." Freddie said.

"My future fiance doesn't deserve to be sold like a whore around the world." Roger tightened his fists.

"Fiance?" Fred asked eager.

"I want to marry her in the near future. But I want to be engaged at first. I kind of mentioned it during our morning fight but the words flew like the wind. She probably doesn't want to get married." Roger stared at the ground.

"Rog, are you serious? She is dying for it. You have no idea how many times she's told me that." Freddie eagerly said, waiting to walk the church's stairs soon.

"Fine. I'll find a way to propose to her. I hope we won't fight again. We literally didn't see each other yesterday for an entire day. She was mad at me, nonetheless, you know.. I was at her place by midnight and she wasn't mad at me anymore. You get it?" Roger giggled.

"That girl has such a fierce temperament. Tell me it happened the way she likes it at least. Make my pal satisfied." Freddie jokes and Roger wanted to be honest with him.

"What has she told you? She never really told me how she likes it." Roger tried to recall if you ever told him about it.

"Oh darling she looks so innocent at the outside but she's so wild at the bedroom. Hasn't she told you she likes it rough?" Freddie whispered.

"Jesus Fred, we're talking about my girl."Roger's eyes got wide. "Yeah it was rough." He coughed, trying to hide the clear sentence.

"Guys what are you doing so long? It's been ages! We have the diss track ready!" John yelled from the studio.

"On our way!" Freddie yelled back and they both walked towards the studio room. "That's my favourite couple, working hard. But I can't accept the fact you fought again this morning." He teased Roger and everyone was finally at their position.

Time passed fast until the recording was done for today and the boys were about to leave the studio.

"Wanna catch up at the pub two blocks from here?" Brian asked. "I can't believe I played for a diss track about me. I need to forget it." He added and everyone in the room laughed.

"Sure, let's do this." John agreed.

"Yes darlings, count me in." Fred said too. "Roger?" He asked. The blonde, was thinking it for a long before answering.

"Not this time... I have to go over y/n's, it's hard now. I will join you another time." He eventually refused but the boys could show compassion.

Roger drove over your apartment. He saw the lights turned off, which caused him wonder if you left. He used the elevator to reach the forth floor and finally he was standing in front of your door, knocking it patiently. You opened the door a minute later, with your eyes almost closed. However, you knew it would be Roger because that's the usual time he comes home. Home. You don't live together yet, but he's always at your place. It was 11 pm, you were so tired to stay awake and wait for him.

"Hey, come in..." You said while yawning.

"I'm sorry I had to wake you up. My keys for your home are at mine's." He apologised and closed the door for you. He didn't forget to kiss you.

He followed you to your bedroom, you instantly laid yourself back in your bed, waiting for your man to lay too. He removed his clothes, staying at his boxer.

"I missed you." He said when he made himself comfortable at your bed.

"Missed you too..." You said while trying to get your sleep back.

"What time did you fall asleep?" He asked and placed his one hand behind his head, staring at the ceiling.

"An hour ago. It was exhausting today. He got me running like a fool outside the company. I believe he did that on purpose." You were saying without being easily understood, since your mouth was placed at the pillow. However, he could clearly hear you because he was focusing on your voice.

"If he fires you, I'll take care of you. I want to get engaged with you." He suddenly said and your head popped up from the pillows like a pop corn.

"Are you serious?" You asked losing your sleep. "A- are you doing it on purpose?" You asked.

"Of course not. I just don't want to call you a girlfriend anymore. I want you to be my fiance. And later my wife." He smiled at you, you felt the butterflies in your stomach making a huge party.

"Oh my God baby, I love you so much... That's wonderful of you to say!" You teared a bit and he hugged you.

"I love you too and everything we're going through is just temporary. Focus on our future happiness love." He kissed you and both got the spoon position, as usual, you were the little spoon. "I bloody love you. I don't even know what I'd do without you." He confessed to your ear.

"Probably sleeping with chicks, like I would do too." You cynically said.

"Ay babe, you don't want to start this, do you?" He teased you.

"No I don't, because I'm sleepy..." you yawned and he kissed your neck gently.

"It's dark and I can still see some marks from last night. Better cover them for tomorrow." he said while looking at your neck.

"I've been knew Roger. They were there since last night. Goodnight..." You covered yourself with the mattress, dreaming the day he'd propose you.

the next day

You woke up by the sound of your phone ringing at the living room. It wasn't even eight yet... You were scared or tried to stay calm thinking it would be Freddie asking for Roger, who was sleeping next to you with his leg crossing yours and his hand wrapped around your chest. You had to move him without giving any shit if he'd be awaken.

"Shit Roger, I have to pick it up." You made fast moves and he woke up. You looked at him, staring at you with terror, like he knew what the phone call was about. He got out of the bed, following you outside. "Yeah, don't follow me around like I'm a poodle." You told him when he stood behind you.

"Well I need to know who's on your phone." he frantically said, totally awakened by now.

"Don't get paranoid, Rog..." you said. "It must be Fred, asking for you." you tried to joke yourself too.

"Fine, just pick it up!" He said annoyed and you finally did it.

"Hello?" You answered. "Good morning Freddie. You want Roger?" You asked Fred while looking at your boyfriend.

"Y/N the sex tape is leaked. The press knows everything but the guy. Derek couldn't say it was him or anybody else. Just... Just calm down okay?" His voice was trembling and so were your legs. You locked eyes with Roger who was staring at you with his eyes wide opened.

"Oh my fucking God..." You murmured and you covered your mouth with your hands. Roger came closer to you, knowing exactly what the phone call was for.

"Y/N it will be over, our conference is tomorrow, we'll cover it!" Freddie tried to reassured you.

"How the hell can you cover a video which is out to the public right now? My life is fucking ruined right now! I won't go at my work today! You know why? Because I'm fucking fired! They warned me, no more photos of me at the magazines or I am fired! Now not only are there pictures of me out there but a video of a drunk y/n, getting fucked!" You screamed at the mic, in which Fred could excellently hear you crying. Roger grabbed the phone from your hands.

"Fred I will be late today or not even come there. Okay? Bye." Roger hang up and held you in his arms while the tears were streaming down your face. You both sat at the floor, he was holding you so tight, trying to take away a little of your sadness. "Just let it out baby... Cry..." He caressed your cheeks and moving hair tufts behind your ears.

"This is all so fucked up Roger..." You said while crying your heart out.

"I know it is, just cry as long as you want... I understand and I won't leave you today if you want to." he said with his rhaspy and gentle voice, while holding you inside his arms, with no any gap between you. "I love you." He whispered in your ear and you shivered.

"I won't leave this house until it's over..." you looked at him and he whipped your tears.

"No, you can leave the house, paps will meet you out there and I'll be more than satisfied if you raise them a middle finger." He encouraged you, trying to make you laugh a bit.

"I already ruined your public figure, what are you talking about?" You said insecure.

"I want a cutie pie between family and friends, a savage out there and a bad girl with me." he teased you and you finally smiled. "Fucking ignore them Y/N please... I promise you it will be forgotten." he promised to you and you really wanted to believe him.

"What about tomorrow?" You asked.

"They'll prefer making questions about the tape instead of our upcoming album trust me. I'll take care of it." you both nodded your heads and just stayed there for like an hour, hugging, waiting for you to calm down.

taglist: @rogxtaylor @bohemiansweede @queendrumah

[dekudynamight]

Title: Worth Waiting For part 6

Rating: E

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Jon Kortajarena, Sebastian Stan x Chris Evans

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: Sebastian makes his confession to Jon, and it doesn't go as expected.

A/N: Aaaahhhhh thank you guys so much for the amazing response to this fic thus far! You're all amazing and I love all of you and I hope you like this 😃I'm excited for the next chapter after this one and have it started already so stay tuned! 💙

For the next three days, Sebastian went through the motions of life under the weight of his crushing guilt, and he kept it all to himself. He talked to Jon daily as usual and did his best to hide it, doing a damn good job and blaming what little Jon did notice on being tired. He wasn't a great liar but all he was trying to do was hide it until he could confess in person. There was no way he was going to just move on with life like his kiss with Chris had never happened - it would eat him up inside until he couldn't take it anymore.

So he sucked it up and carried on, boarding his plane to London at the end of those three days and spending the entire flight rehearsing his planned speech in his head. He agonized over it, hoping to God that Jon would at least listen and let him say everything that he needed to, but if he threw him out and sent him back to New York Seb wouldn't blame him. He was prepared for all possibilities, but he hoped it wouldn't prove as terrible as he feared.

When he arrived Jon was there to greet him, having just wrapped up a day on set of a movie he'd landed a small but compelling role in. He pulled Sebastian into a hug and kiss and Sebastian suspected a few people snapped pics of their reunion but he didn't care. He put on a brave face and smiled as Jon led him and his luggage to a car that drove them just a few minutes across town to Jon's hotel, and Sebastian was relieved that they'd be alone soon. If he didn't get what he'd done off his chest soon, he was sure that he'd simply just explode.

They had just gotten inside Jon's room and had the door shut behind them when Jon took his luggage from Seb and set it aside, wasting no time in invading his space with a sweet, warm smile and reaching to cup his face with a lowly whispered, "I've missed you, mi vida."

Then he kissed Sebastian with all the pent up love and passion he'd been reining in for three weeks, and Sebastian could feel it in his very soul. It broke his heart and made him feel whole again all at once, a barrage of confusing and overwhelming emotions making him forget about the confession he'd been so eager to give. He melted against Jon and fell into the kiss, having missed the man so much that it was easier than breathing to be pulled back in by him so quickly.

Sebastian didn't snap out of it until Jon started tugging his jacket off, their kisses turning hungry and scorched until Sebastian broke away with a heavy breath. Hands on Jon's chest putting some distance between them he whispered, "Wait, wait."

"Why?" Jon murmured, trailing his lips to Sebastian's neck and making his eyes roll shut.

"Jon, please, I mean it," Sebastian forced out, and Jon pulled away in an instant.

"What's wrong?" Jon asked, surprise and concern etched on his features as he looked Sebastian over.

Sebastian took a deep breath and felt his stomach drop, dread and fear filling him now that the moment had arrived at last and he'd rejected his only way out of it. He clenched his jaw and dropped his eyes, trying to remember the speech he'd planned but now that the time had come... it was all gone. Suddenly nothing felt like the right thing to say and he wished that he could just disappear.

"Sebastian," Jon said quietly, reaching up and touching his cheek. "Are you all right?"

"No," Sebastian admitted, taking his hand and pulling it away. He forced himself to look Jon in the eye and muttered, "I... I don't know how to say it. I fucked up."

Jon furrowed his brows slightly. "What do you mean?"

Sebastian took another breath, feeling ill and terrified but giving himself no choice but to come out with it. "Couple nights ago, um... Chris, he... he showed up drunk at my door. It was late and I was stupid and I let him in and I know that I shouldn't have, but I did and..."

Sebastian trailed off and watched as his words sunk in. Jon's expression shifted from confusion to understanding and then... he wasn't sure. Disappointment, maybe, but not the anger that he would have expected. "You... did you sleep with him?"

"No," Sebastian replied immediately, a little too adamantly. "He kissed me. And I didn't... I didn't stop him. I kissed him back and then when I realized what I'd done I pushed him away and freaked out and made him go, but... I did it."

Jon looked him in the eye until he was finished, and then he dropped his eyes and took a long, deep breath. Then, as Sebastian watched with bated breath and a chest full of anxiety, Jon nodded and seemed to be inwardly debating something. Sebastian watched and waited until he couldn't take it anymore, blurting, "If you want me to go I'll go. I just... I wanted to tell you in person. I'm so sorry. I'm a piece of shit and I fucking hate myself and -"

Jon, aghast at Sebastian's words, shook his head and shocked the other man by pulling him into a hug that was far more comforting than Sebastian felt he deserved. "No, no, Sebastian," Jon murmured. "Don't say that."

Sebastian buried his face in Jon's shoulder, hot tears springing to his eyes. "But it's true," he muttered. "You've been so damn good to me and you deserve so much fuckin' better."

But all Jon did was shush him gently and then lead him to the king sized bed in the suite, sitting him down on the side of it and sitting next to him, keeping his arm around him and placing his other hand on Sebastian's face. "I'm not angry, Sebastian."

Sebastian blinked and sniffed back his tears. "What?"

"I'm not angry," he repeated gently.

"... How? I fuckin'... I cheated, Jon. And with him."

Jon shook his head. "You love him," he stated gently. "I can't change that."

"But I love you," Sebastian insisted. "I swear I do."

"I know you do," Jon assured him. "And you love him, too. It's okay."

"No it's not," Sebastian argued softly. "I hate it. I hate what he does to me and how the second he shows up I just fuckin' lose it. I'm a piece of -"

"Sebastian," Jon interrupted gently, "It's okay to love more than one person. And you are so... sweet and full of love and have so much to give. I would never want to change that about you - it made me fall in love with you."

Sebastian's heart throbbed with pain, his guilt growing immeasurably worse thanks to Jon's seemingly utter lack of anger. He wasn't happy about it but he wasn't mad or particularly frustrated either, and the lack of a conventional response left Sebastian completely unsure as to what the hell to do with himself and his feelings.

"Why don't you hate me?" Sebastian asked quietly, and Jon winced as if the question physically hurt him.

"I've told you before, mi vida - I could never hate you."

Sebastian couldn't help but cry even more at those words. Jon pulled him into another hug, whispering comforting words into his ear and running soothing fingers through his hair. Within a few moments they ended up laying in bed together, shoes and jackets off and Sebastian curled up in the safety and warmth of Jon's arms. His head was on Jon's chest and Jon comforted him until the tears finally stopped coming and his breathing evened out.

Sebastian was exhausted from not only his flight but also from the outpouring of emotion that he was still grappling with. It was surreal in a way, Jon being so sweet and understanding despite what Sebastian had done, and Seb just... could hardly comprehend it.

"Are you sure you're not mad?" Sebastian asked quietly, peeking up at Jon.

"At you, no," Jon replied. "But Chris... he plays with your heart. What he does to you is cruel."

"He doesn't mean to be," Sebastian said, his knee jerk reaction to defend Chris at all costs still very much alive and well. "He just..."

"You make excuses for him and always have. You shouldn't."

Sebastian let out a breath and lowered his eyes, closing them as he snuggled deeper into Jon's chest. "I know. I'm an idiot."

"He is the idiot," Jon chuckled.

"Yeah." Sebastian paused. "But I love him."

Jon kissed his forehead. "But you love him."

Sebastian looked up at him, eyes earnest and honest. "I love you, too."

"And I love you," Jon replied softly, leaning down and placing a soft kiss on his lips.

".... What do we do?" Sebastian asked Jon in a whisper, at a loss for where to go from here.

"Whatever makes us happy," Jon shrugged. "And you make me happy."

"You do, too," Sebastian insisted, meaning it with everything he had in him.

"Then we will figure it out," Jon assured him, kissing him one more time, and somehow despite his guilt, shame, confusion and inner turmoil... Sebastian believed him.

He might never fully believe that he was worthy of Jon's love and forgiveness, but he was grateful more than words could ever begin to say. He wished that his love for Jon would just push his love for Chris out of his heart and into the past, but instead they coexisted for better or worse. He loved them both so damn much and he couldn't imagine that ever changing.

What the hell were they gonna do?

----

The next morning Sebastian awoke to soft, tender kisses on his neck and gentle hands roaming his body, Jon coaxing him into what proved to be the best makeup sex Seb had ever had. A part of him still felt like he wasn't worthy of such pleasure but Jon went to great lengths to convince him otherwise, and Sebastian loved him all the more for it.

The rest of his trip passed by pleasantly and all too quickly, the two men enjoying each other's comforting company and making a few public strolls together. They both had to deal with a lot more paparazzi since coming out but it was a part of life and it rarely bothered them. What did bother Sebastian, however, was the nagging little voice in the back of his head wondering how Chris was doing and if he was seeing the pictures as they hit the Internet. Sebastian wanted to reach out and make sure that he was okay, that he wasn't hurting after what happened, but silence had lapsed between them again and he just didn't know how to proceed.

Sebastian flew home at the end of his trip conflicted and worried but relieved that he and Jon were still together despite his lapse in judgement. Soon after he jetted off to LA for a new film and, for the time being at least, left his problems on the back burner in favor of work. It was a bandaid really but he was used to it.

Three weeks into filming, Jon's project wrapped up and he had a week free to visit Sebastian in LA. He packed up and flew his way, stopping for a layover at JFK that left him waiting for an hour and a half before his next flight began boarding. He grabbed lunch and coffee at one of the restaurants and sat at a table towards the back as he made a few phone calls and texted Seb to keep him updated as to his ETA.

Everything was going perfectly smoothly until he finished his food and happened to glance up at the right moment and noticed a particular patron at the counter waiting on his order. Jon wasn't sure at first until the man turned his head a certain way, better displaying a bearded jaw that a NASA hat and sunglasses couldn't hide, and then Jon knew beyond a doubt who the man was. He took a deep breath and looked away, wondering what kind of ridiculous sense of humor the universe had to cross their particular paths on that particular day.

Then again, maybe the universe had a good reason for it.

He got up and headed to the front of the restaurant, quietly disposing of his now-empty coffee cup and walking the short distance to where Chris stood. He took a deep breath and hesitated only for a few seconds before reaching out and gently tapping his upper arm. Chris immediately swiveled around and, upon making eye contact with Jon, immediately performed his best impression of a deer in headlights.

".... Hi," Chris blurted, eyes wide and mouth hanging slightly open. Jon, not as much of a saint as he seemed to be at times, couldn't deny the little bit of satisfaction he got from Chris' clearly panicked reaction.

"Heading home?" Jon asked quietly, glancing around them to ensure that nobody was watching them or paying them any mind. They weren't.

"No, Atlanta," Chris replied, visibly perplexed by the casual line of questioning. He seemed to just go with it, however, asking next, "You?"

"Back to LA. Sebastian's waiting for me."

Chris stared at him, anxiety sealing up his mouth for once and leaving him speechless. Jon watched him squirm for only a few seconds before letting out a breath and throwing him a bone.

"I know what happened. He told me weeks ago," Jon told Chris, whose brows quirked in surprise. "We don't keep secrets."

"Listen," Chris muttered after swallowing nervously, tone as quiet as possible, "I never meant to -"

Jon held up a hand to silence him. "I don't know what you mean to do. You are always playing with him and coming and going as you please, and he deserves better than that."

"I know," Chris replied, visibly and audibly pained. "And I'm sorry. To both of you. I had no right to do what I did. It won't happen again."

"I think it will," Jon shrugged slightly. "He loves you too much to ever say no to you. And you - I don't know what you want from him but I don't trust you."

".... I wouldn't trust me either," Chris muttered, clearly ashamed. It was all in his blue eyes, plain as day for anyone to see. "I don't wanna fuck you guys up anymore than I already have. I'll leave him alone."

"That's not what I want," Jon shook his head. "I want him to be happy."

Now Chris was really confused. He gave a small shake of his head and furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"

"He needs you, I think. I can't change that. But unless you stop being a coward and using him whenever you feel like it, you'll never deserve him or his time."

"I'm not trying to take him from you," Chris blinked, unsure of how to take Jon's words. "I just..." he paused and trailed off, eyes averting aimlessly. "I miss him."

"Maybe you should stop missing him and start earning his love," Jon suggested. "Stop breaking his heart."

".... Don't you hate me?" Chris asked, bewildered. "I don't understand."

"I don't hate anybody," Jon shrugged. "Not even you."

A pause of silence passed between them, and then with all the sincerity in the world Chris finally murmured, "I'm sorry."

Before Jon could accept the apology, Chris' order was called out from the counter. He glanced over his shoulder and then back to Jon, who simply moved his hands into his pockets and said, "Have a safe flight, Chris."

"You too," Chris replied, eyes still bewildered as he watched Jon walk away and out of the restaurant.

Nerves now shot, Jon felt the nagging need for a cigarette start to grow as he began heading towards his gate. He hoped that Chris would listen and put an end to this nonsense for Sebastian's sake, whatever that ultimately meant for him and Jon. Whatever came of them in the end, so long as Sebastian was happy and had what he wanted, that was enough for Jon. That was how love was supposed to be - selfless, unconditional.

And maybe not always limited to one person and one person alone.

Taglist: @captainrogerrsbeard @take-me-tom-hiddleston @onehotgreasymechanic @stanclub @time-travel-bouqet @supersmuttyqueernerd @its-a-pretty-interesting-wall @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @lisamott9 @ravensonata @buckmesideways22 @loki7ms @weareallteamcap @laughingatthevoid @nade2308 @wintersoldier1989 @steve-bucky-stucky @loricameback @imagininggirl

[mads-hatter]

Healing her

Sixteen

"Sweetheart, it's safe to tell an adult," I murmured. "What he did wasn't right. There are resources available to help you, strong women who have been through this to guide you, and you don't have to face this alone."

"I know, but I don't want to deal with any legal implications or backlash at school," she whispered. "Besides, I don't have any proof, and it's his word against mine."

"Okay, I won't push you," I soothed. "But talk to someone, please. Don't bottle this up. Don't hide it away."

"I can't tell anyone," she said. "I'm worried it'll tarnish his reputation. He'll get kicked off the football team and lose a scholarship. I'll just deal with it without making any waves."

"Suit yourself," I sighed. "But there's a storm coming later in life. You'll make waves, and you'll have to learn to surf them to survive."

_______________

Nineteen

"You don't have to agree to that," I said. "You've already got so much on your plate this semester. There's no need to take that on, too."

"But if I don't who will? I know how it should be done, and I'll do it correctly," she thought aloud. "Besides, this will look great on my resume. I don't want them to be disappointed in me either."

"I know you will," I replied. "You always do such a good job, but you are already anxious and overwhelmed by the task. You're not the only capable person. It will get done. You need to prioritize your mental health right now. I'm proud of you."

_______________

Twenty

"That's not the answer," I whispered, pushing the tear-soaked strands of hair out of her face.

"I just want it to stop hurting," she cried, voice shaking. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't stop crying. I'm sick at my stomach all the time. This is a hurt I can't even explain. It would be better to just end it here."

"No, sweetie, you're wrong. Take your foot off the gas. Slow it down. Just ease over to the side of the road. That's it. Press softly on the brakes. Just put it in park now; that's it," I said, voice barely breaking above a whisper.

"We can try some medication," I added. "There's no shame in that. If you can't produce enough of your own balancing chemicals, store-bought is just fine."

"Okay, I'll try it," she conceded, wiping the last of the tears from her face.

_______________

Twenty-three

"I know he's lying," she sobbed into my chest. "I know it. There's not one committed, married man on this planet who has a 75-day snap streak with the girl he swears he's not cheating with."

"What other evidence do you have that he's cheating?" I asked.

"MY GUT," she wailed. "If he's hanging out with her all the time, hiding that part of his life from me, treating me with such disdain, and gaslighting me, he's got to be."

"Your gut, huh?" I asked.

"Well, maybe I am losing it a little. I mean, he's always been truthful before. I've never had a reason to worry, and maybe I'm just being overly-sensitive like he said," she sniffed.

"Please don't second-guess yourself," I implored. "Don't discount that primal reaction. It's valid. Don't silence that leading part of you. I promise, you'll see what I mean."

___________________

Twenty-six

"I was right," she stated.

"Yes, dear, you were," I said.

"They got married today, not even two years after the ink on our divorce papers dried. I was right," she sighed. "That's one thing I wish I'd never been right about."

"Now you know why it's so important to trust your gut, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, after all the lies, the gaslighting, the sneaking around...He should have just been honest," she sighed.