#(i will have vinegar on hot chips but only the kind from a fish & chip shop)

[thevioletcaptain]

[samethyst01]

Through The Window

Chapter One

‘None shall find joy in this false grain of hope, and to concede upon which their mind may fill with chaos.’

That was the final line of my father’s book. As you might be able to tell, he was a rather eccentric man, one who found fanciful intrigue in the works of Lovecraft and Poe rather than sports stars and craft beers. He was a private, distant man. Time spent in his office was rather more akin to all of his time, hunched over his desk and either typing or scribbling away some mad ramblings.

I might be exaggerating, but he really was a very strange man. Whenever we spoke, which wasn’t often, he never knew exactly how to relate to me. It was almost as if he never wanted me, like my existence was a complete inconvenience to him. He was never abusive or toxic, but that doesn’t mean he loved me. He merely understood that I was his son, and I lived in his house, and he was one half of the union that sired me.

He would often catch me looking through his things, especially the papers in his office. He never scolded me for it, simply told me in his hushed voice that it was not for me to see yet. In one of the only moments of intimacy between us that I can remember, he sat me on his knee and told me his plan. I was far too young to understand what he meant in his words – I was only about five or six – but I was just happy to hear him finally speak to me.

What I remember of this conversation was the word ‘small’. He told me how small we were. Not just us as in himself and my mother and me, but the whole human race. He told me there was something out there that was far bigger than us, far more important, and that we were all just waiting for it to come down from space. He looked me in the eyes and told me one day, one beautiful day, all of humanity would become one with this vast something and be happy forever.

As I grew older, I wondered if maybe he was part of some obscure offshoot of Christianity, and this ‘beautiful expanse’ was just a word for God or Heaven. I was disabused of this notion on the day I finally read his stories, which also happened to be the day he died. I learned very suddenly that my father was not a man of God, nor of Satan or any conventional deity.

But before I speak of that, I must tell you how I came to see him dead.

If you’re the type of person to fall deep into intensity in your life, you might have something akin to a ‘happy place’. Whatever it is, whoever you are, it’s either a physical location or some abstract feeling or concept that fills you with comfort. It is, for some, a kind of immortal liminal space that they may regress into and find deep reassurance in. This is especially true if one has been traumatised.

My happy place was a seaside town which I visited with my parents once every three years. It’s still there, in a quiet corner of the world, tiny and unassuming and home to a great many secrets. We first travelled there when I was a baby, far too young to remember the details. As my mother would later tell me, it was the town my father lived in when he was younger. He was born and raised in that place, and only left in order to pursue a career in theatre, which he promptly abandoned after some unknown event.

It wasn’t until I was six that I have a clear enough memory of that town. It was truly miniscule – a cluster of buildings nestled against the sea with a quayside that led upwards along a raised path towards the beach – and the waters beyond. I remember being fixated on the town when we first arrived, obsessed with every small store and business, from the arcades to the strange shop that sold dreamcatchers and totems, and from there to the acrid smell of vinegar from the fish and chip place that wafted all the way down towards the caravan park at the end of the path, set in a forested area that overlooked the sea.

On the colder days, my mother and I would visit the Highstreet shops, from the ones that sold wetsuits and coats to the other that offered hot sauce and quiches, among other things. It was like a dream to my younger self, this place so isolated from the rest of the world and so content in its own sense of progress and serenity. I wanted to be like it. I tasted every morsel on offer, from crab meat to haddock to cod to battered sausage, and I fell in love.

We drove a few miles down and came upon a restaurant that overlooked the swampy marshes, and we ate lunch in the quiet sunshine. I tasted lobster for the first time, and squid, and I saw my father smile. The expression was so rare and unexpected that it felt like an event, a moment I would savour in my mind for years. When he smiled, my mother returned it twice as widely and I laughed with a kind of innocent joy I’m sure I shall never recreate.

I spent time swimming in the sea on the hottest days, when the tide was as far in as it could go and the water stretched on into the horizon. That beach was massive, so wide that you’d get lost if you walked for only a few minutes. I saw seals flop onto the sand and bob up and down in the waters, and once even saw a galloping horse ride in from somewhere far away, majestic and stark black against the pale shine of the sand.

I wondered what lay out there in the ocean, far beyond my reach. I remember seeing the tiny speck of wind turbines in the distance and wondering if they were people who were stuck out there and could never come back to land. Once, and only once, I saw the shadow of something moving slowly beneath the surface, gliding away from the shore and deeper into the depths. I hoped it was a dinosaur.

One night, my parents and I visited the local cinema to watch a film. It was Toy Story, my favourite at the time, and when I learned it was the movie we’d be watching I was overjoyed. In a rare act of kindness, my father bought me the biggest bucket of popcorn they had on offer. My mother gave him a look that bordered between disapproval and joy, one she could not properly express. My father said nothing and simply winked at me.

When the film was over, I remember an older couple approaching us. They must’ve been in their late fifties, maybe early sixties, and they regarded my father with familiarity. My mother was uncomfortable but polite, and the couple spoke with a great degree of intensity. They looked from my father to me and I remember their smiles were almost frightening in their enthusiasm. I felt very disquieted by them.

That night, as a storm lashed at our cottage – we couldn’t stay in my father’s old home, as it had long since been destroyed – I felt an overwhelming urge to go to the beach. I waited for my parents to fall asleep before I dressed quickly and braved the weather, stumbling down the quayside towards the path. It was so dark that I could barely see a matter of feet ahead of me, the rain and the night combining into a complete, incomprehensible abyss.

I was able to walk the path instinctually. I still don’t know how or why I was compelled, but I was far too young and naïve to ignore the feeling. So I walked, and I walked until I arrived at the beach. The water was further out and the tide had ebbed, leaving me with much ground to cover before I could reach the sea itself. A distant, quiet whisper filled my ears and I strode onwards, ignoring the rain pelting my coat and the mushy sand filling my boots.

And then, like it could’ve been simply a dream, a bolt of lightning arced across the sky and illuminated a figure far out on the sand.

My eyes widened at the sight and dread filled my stomach. I felt control of my body returning, and I suddenly wanted no part of this midnight stroll. I wanted to go home, to run back to the path and pretend I was having a nightmare, but something about the figure intrigued me. Their dark form, set in shadow against the storm, swelled this horrible curiosity inside me that I couldn’t understand. I thought I was going to die.

Before it was too late, I felt something grab me from behind. It was my mother, my father at her side. They hugged me tightly and my mother screamed with fright over the sound of the storm, tears streaking down her face. I began to cry at the sheer ferocity of her emotion, but only because I was scared she was angry with me. I couldn’t begin to understand how worried she must’ve been. She probably thought I was dead.

I was too upset to articulate what had happened, and sensing this, my mother wrapped me up in her coat, kissed my forehead and began leading me away from the beach. My father’s gaze was fixed on the horizon, and I wondered if perhaps he’d seen the figure too. My mother gently took his hand and her touch snapped him out of his daze. We returned home and over a hot cup of cocoa, I pondered what had happened to me. Fruitless guessing was what it ended up being, in the end.

We returned to the town every three years, with almost the exact same routine each time. The only difference as the years went by was me, as I became older and more independent. I would wander off a lot more, exploring the hidden corners of the town more frequently. Our cottage had a basement that I managed to find the keys to, and I hoped it contained something dark or scandalous. It was just old swimming gear and firewood. There was, however, a hidden door within it that had no key.

That couple always managed to find us, too. I found out that they were Howard and Diane Lorely, residents of the town who knew my father through his father. I never spoke much to them but I also never shook the feeling of unease when I did. Their faces always had this uncanny stretch to them, like if they kept at it, one day they’d freeze up and never be able to move the muscles again. They always addressed me as ‘the special one’, a label I came to find patronising the older I got. Maybe it was just teenage arrogance, or maybe there was truly something insidious about it.

The last time we visited the town, I was eighteen. I was the typical angsty teenage boy, but despite my bloated sense of self-importance I still regarded the place as one I held dear. At this point in time, my father had become so distant that even my mother had stopped trying to engage him. She was fatigued with him and his coldness, and I could tell that their relationship was on the brink of collapse. As for the man himself, he only spoke a few scant words to me across the entirety of the visit, and only once looked me in the eyes.

The Loreleys were still as intrusive and unrelenting as ever, and upon our last meet, their demeanour caused my mother to snap and demand they stay away from us. I have never seen such malice and hatred since, when I saw it in their eyes in that moment. They looked at my father with palpable disappointment, and in his expression I saw a deep sadness and regret. It disgusted me to think he held these crones’ opinions higher than the welfare of his family, and my already existing distaste for him only grew.

On the last night of our trip, I decided to venture out onto the beach one final time. I knew I’d find nothing, but a tiny part of my still inquisitive mind hoped I might get some closure. In the dead of night, when I was sure I would be walking alone, I headed down to the sand and stood before the still-ebbing tide. Moonlight reflected off the waves and the gentle sound of sloshing water filled me with calm. I thought, in that moment, that I was truly at peace.

Someone stepped onto the sand beside me and let out a long, heavy sigh. It was my father. I looked away from him, having nothing to say. I didn’t need to speak, however, as it seemed he had come there to set things right with me.

He told me he was sorry for the way he treated me. He told me he never wanted children, that his relationship with my mother was always intended to be a brief one, fit for naught but sex and drug use. He told me there was much about himself I would never know, and it was a gift he had given me; the gift of ignorance. He turned to me, and I felt compelled to do the same, and for the first time in quite literally years, his gaze met mine. His hooded eyes locked upon my own and he whispered a phrase I had never heard before or since.

“I love you, son.”

To this day, I still have no idea if he was telling the truth, but in that one moment, I didn’t care. That was all I had ever wanted from him, all my private desires and holiday wishes, all of it had been for that moment. I just wanted him to acknowledge me, and he did. I didn’t say anything, and without another word, he placed a hand on my shoulder, smiled softly, and walked away. It was like a dream.

I stayed on the beach for a little while longer, hoping to catch a glimpse of something drifting in the water or standing ahead of me on the beach. I didn’t, however, and I resigned myself to returning to our cottage. We left the town the day after and my father and I never spoke of it. I doubt my mother even knew we had exchanged such an intimate moment.

Exactly one year later, on the eve of my father’s forty-sixth birthday, I resolved to understand him. While he and my mother were out at an art gallery – a vain attempt on their part to rekindle their love – I stole the key to his private office and looked through his writings. The contents of his personal laptop were mainly dark poetry, which I rather enjoyed, but the physical notebooks contained that which I now believe have led me to where I am today.

I dare not describe them in detail, not yet, but the concepts and confessions they presented left me haunted. I was suddenly and totally learning just what kind of a man my father was, and the truth was not merciful or in any way kind. The very moment I heard my father’s return, I tidied his office in a panic and pretended I never even knew the location of its key. My mother was fooled – she always did see the best in me – but he knew as soon as he looked at me.

Just twelve hours later, I would watch my father’s heartbeat slow and disappear on the ECG as he slipped into death. It was deemed a sudden and tragic heart attack. The horror of its timing was not lost on me, nor my mother when I told her what I’d done. Something had killed my father, and it had done so to express a point. Nothing he had ever created was meant for my eyes, nor for the eyes of any but those it deemed worthy of its secrets.

I know that must sound like madness, but there are things I have learned that will not leave me. Things not just about my father, but about my mother and that town and worst of all – about myself. This journal or table of confessions or whatever it is serves as my way of keeping a kind of routine in my life. Things are getting hard to process. I apologise for the way in which I write – my language, syntax and tone – but it’s a style I rather think I’ve adopted from my father. He was a flowery writer.

As for what I will tell you of: the cottage my family and I stayed in has just recently come up on the market. I’ve reserved it for two weeks. Whatever I find in that place, I’ll be sure to record it here. If you doubt my sanity at any point, I congratulate you. That is the sign of a sound and steady mind.

I don’t think I can be sure of my own mind anymore. I’m not sure I can trust it.

[goodduckingomens]

Pelican AU or as long as we’re together

Aziraphale and Crowley were sitting on the jetty. They had been sitting on the jetty for quite a while, Aziraphale under a parasol and Crowley gently roasting himself, and they had been drinking for most of it, simply because they could. Cold white wine just paired so nicely with hot summer sun.

Aziraphale was currently caught up in a thrilling tale of espionage, treason and love (Trashy romance novel, call it what it is, angel.) and thus he hadn’t really noticed how quiet Crowley had been for quite a while. But he had, still. And it was bothering him. Crowley wasn’t quiet, except when he was up to no good.

A sneaky look at the demon at his side revealed that the current devilry was apparently staring very intently at a pelican that was bobbing on the water.

Aziraphale closed his book and cleared his throat. Then he cleared his throat louder. Then he cleared his throat louder once more and made himself cough. Crowley blindly reached for the wine bottle, refilling Aziraphale’s glass. Aziraphale took a sip.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Crowley jerked hard enough to almost topple off the jetty.

“Gee, angel, warn a demon.”

“I refuse that categorically. Only retired ones.”

Crowley finally looked over at him with a lopsided smile.

“So, my dear, what were you so deep in thought about?”

“Oh, you know, just the usual. Bit of quantum science, human theories, stuff like that.”

“Oh?”

“Everett's Many-Worlds Theory. You know, he proposed there should be other universes that coexist and diverge from our own.”

“Yes, I do read, Crowley.”

Crowley looked at him weird for a second.

“Ah, science fiction. Right.”

“Did you just forget the entire genre of science fiction and think I read books about quantum physics for a minute, dear?” Aziraphale asked, amused.

“No,” Crowley mumbled and looked back at the pelican.

Aziraphale put his book away and moved closer to Crowley.

“So, what was it you were thinking about?” He asked, voice gentle.

One could never know what kind of thoughts came up in Crowley’s head when he was pondering. Aziraphale had learned to be tactful. Gentle.

“I thought that for sure there would be another universe in which you are a pelican.”

Aziraphale blinked.

“I beg your pardon?”

Crowley swirled the wine in his glass and grinned.

“Think about it. The glutton of sea birds. And they can be right bastards too.”

“Why I never-”

Crowley cackled and Aziraphale bristled even further.

“Well, then you would be a seagull.”

“Ak- I- wha- a seagull? The most annoying creature to have ever been in the sky?”

Aziraphale grinned smugly.

“If you say so, my dear. A most unexpected level of self-awareness. But yes, that and you would have a blast stealing things from people. Making them run after you in their silly flippy-floppies.”

Crowley gaped at him. Then he laughed.

“Point taken.”

He raised his glass and Aziraphale clinked them together, both of them drinking and falling silent again, looking out at the sea. After a while Crowley leaned against Aziraphale’s side, a comforting weight. Aziraphale carefully arranged the parasol to only shade him.

“I would steal sushi for you, you know. And fish and chips. With extra vinegar,” Crowley murmured.

Aziraphale twisted slightly so he could drop a kiss into Crowley’s hair.

“I know you would.”

“Wouldn’t be too bad, being birds. As long as we’re together.”

Aziraphale hummed.

“Yes, dear. As long as we’re together.”

He paused.

“Then again, we wouldn’t be able to open wine bottles.”

Read the rest of the prompts HERE.

[16ruedelaverrerie]

I have a question. How do you come up with ideas for dishes for Les Mignardises? Especially Gavin's ones? I can't get that fish from last chapter out of my head! I enjoy this fic a lot, you are a great writer.

What an actual goddamn DREAM of a question, I’m so happy to discuss this that I wonder if I hypnotized myself and sent in an anon ask just so that I could go on about it. But NO! I am very sad but I am not quite that sad in quite that way. And I am sorry for insinuating that you are a figment of my imagination, anon! That’s how much I appreciate this ask, thank you so much! HERE IS A REALLY LONG ANSWER THAT TUMBLR HAS KINDLY PLACED BEHIND A DASHBOARD CUT.

The salmon and steak tartare from the pop-up flashback has to pull a significant amount of weight since it’s what undergirds Nines’s relationship with Gavin -- the curiosity (what made me chase you) and the tenderness (what made me stay) both -- so it was very much a thing I had to think about a lot. In terms of the triaxial way that I like to conceptualize fics, it’s a dish that has to not only imbue the story with flavor, but address its core. Which means that the foremost consideration I have to keep in mind is:

This dish needs to echo its role in the narrative.

Here, the dish is what alerts Nines to the possibility that the things which most seem out of place may be able to contribute great value and beauty nonetheless; so this has to be a dish that chafes, in what it is and does. It has to sit uneasily with the occasion, the genteel safety of a pop-up showcase for chefs who don’t yet have the status or clout to be public contrarians.

Something that a lot of people still find distasteful is being confronted with where animal protein comes from. Because reminders of this often hinge around the use of odds-and-ends parts -- head, foot, organs -- at this stage, I’m pretty sure that the dish needs to include some part of some animal that a lot of (American, at least) diners would find to be aggressively visceral. Head, I decide, because the drama of it delights me.

This dish includes an animal head.

A pig’s head, maybe? A sheep’s head? At the same time, the dish is also Gavin’s general middle finger to the way that things are done, and an expression of how he sits uneasily within the tradition of fine dining. I want the dish to be angry at certain conventions within restaurant culture that Gavin might disagree with.

In its most conservative incarnations, “surf and turf” is a disgusting bourgeois display of food as symbol of wealth, as opposed to its myriad other potential purposes such as nourishment, community cohesion, artistic innovation, or cultural expression. You take two grossly overrated and overpriced cuts -- filet mignon and lobster tail -- and you plop them down on a plate next to each other because WHY? They don’t do anything FOR each other! It’s just a PLATTER OF TRASH FOR BANKERS TO IMPRESS EACH OTHER WITH. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Anyway, I figure that this kind of surf and turf might infuriate a chef whose M.O. is to make the most out of the least, to leave nothing behind. Also that was a little unfair to lobster tail, which is a fine piece of protein, if overhyped at the expense of the rest of the lobster. But filet mignon as steak can go fuck itself.

This dish is a fuck-you to classic surf and turf.

Now I need to decide on an animal head that might belong in a hot take on surf and turf! Another factor at play in the pop-up flashback is that it’s being hosted by a Japanese chef at a Japanese restaurant, where Gavin has been working and learning for a while now. Is that because a huge part of what I know and enjoy about food is East Asian? YES! LET ME LIVE!

The benefit of going with salmon head for the surf portion of the dish -- as opposed to using a head for the turf -- is that salmon head is easier and cheaper to source (even though ones as huge as described in the story can only really come from some kinds of salmon). It’s also an ingredient that Zabuton is likely to use on a regular basis, since it’s an established part of Japanese cuisine, giving Gavin familiarity with it and a starting point for building his dish. Also also, it’s really fatty, and since Gavin in this story is the kind of chef who gravitates towards blisteringly high heat, I like the thought of what burning the shit out of that head would do.

This dish includes salmon head.

What do I do about the turf? If the surf element and the turf element of the dish are to interact with each other in mutually beneficial ways, the turf can’t be too assertive; it shouldn’t overpower the salmon. Like, grilled flank steak? Great, yes, please, but maybe not the right choice for this.

Fortunately, steak tartare simultaneously tastes subtle enough and looks brutal enough to be a good counterpoint. In a lot of ways, it’s a productive mirror image of the salmon; it’s raw whereas the salmon is charred, it’s lean whereas the salmon is fatty. Nice!

This dish includes steak tartare.

I also do know -- again, from East Asian cooking -- that raw beef works well with salmon roe. Ikura echoes the salmon head that’s in the dish already, so in it goes. Some egg yolk to bind the tartare might not go amiss, especially since I want it to be a scoop-and-eat party-platter dish.

There’s brininess in the ikura and salt throughout, but because it’s essentially an ANIMAL PROTEIN BOMB dish, it needs something sharp to cut all the richness. In addition, everything so far has also been pretty soft; let’s add some elements of acidity and textural interest. Tartare loves a little mustard! Toss in the crackle of a puffed grain (why not millet, rice feels too fragile), the fiber of the chives, and the crunch of rakkyo (doing double duty with its vinegar).

This dish includes ikura, egg yolk, pickled mustard seed, puffed millet, chives, and rakkyo.

For a while I thought that the scoop on the side would be shrimp senbei, because that’s what “chips, but Zabuton” made me think. But I didn’t really love how delicate the senbei would be in this particular dish. It felt like the tartare and salmon would turn the senbei into, like, a thick paste in your mouth?? I was looking for something thinner, a lateral move from a potato chip-- so I tried to think of other ingredients on the root-tuber-rhizome continuum. What can be sliced thin and baked brittle?

I liked lotus root as a choice because it has the right snap, it’s light -- visually as well, with all its perforations! -- and it has more of a pronounced earthy flavor than potatoes, which seemed like a fun way to mix in some plant quality to offset all the animal. Lotus root it is!

This dish includes lotus root chips.

THE END, STEAK TARTARE ON A BED OF CHARGRILLED SALMON HEAD, GARNISHED WITH EGGS TWO WAYS, SERVED WITH LOTUS ROOT CHIPS ON THE SIDE

lmao WHAT A SELF-INDULGENT POST THIS IS, thank you anon for allowing me to talk shop, you are too sweet and I hope you regret what you have done. Additional thanks to tumblr for read-more cuts. Anon I love you! I can’t believe I’ve rambled on at this length about THE PROCESS OF COMING UP WITH A FAKE DISH FOR A FIC but also, I mean, I can believe it, in the sense that it is something I would jump at the chance to do. Thanks for giving me the chance to do it anon! May the wind be ever at your back and the sun shine upon your path!

[light-and-heartful]

Pajama Sam 3 - A Logjam of French Fries

everytime I see this scene from it reminds me of the idea I had for a restaurant that’s basically Chuck E Cheese but replace the pizza with french fries (since I’m a huge fan of french fries and I’d usually get them as my only meal when I go to restaurants)

it's called "Planet F.R.Y." (I was going to call it "Lord of the Fries", but there's already a restaurant like that so... yeah), it would have these kinds of french fries:

Shoestring

Seasoned

Restaurant Style (like the ones from Chili's)

Battered 

Crinkle Cut

Curly

Waffle 

Golden (like the ones you get at a fair)

Steak Fries

Sweet Potato

Potato Wedges

Home Fries 

we'll even have Tater Tots, Fried Pickles, and different kinds of fried onions [including Spicy & Crispy Onion Rings, Panko Onion Rings, Golden Fried Onion Rings (like the ones from Long John Silver) Texas Toothpicks, & Onion String]

you can get them as a side with a Burger, Fried Fish Sandwitch Hot Dog, Corn Dog, an order of Chicken Strips, or even a Grilled Cheese Sandwich

or get it as a basket, and you can go to the toppings bar and add as much toppings as you want, including:

Chili

Melted Cheese

Jalapenos

Lettuce

Chopped Tomatoes

Chopped Onions 

Tortilla Chip

Crouton

Relish

Salsa

Sour Cream

Guacamole

and there will also be a sauce bar called the Great Condiment Tree which is a tree statue with a big hole in it, inside that hole is a rotating platform in it with different sauce pumps on it, and you can add as much sauce as you want, and these are the sauces::

Ketchup

Mustard

Mayonnaise

Vinegar

Ranch Dressing

Soy Sauce

Teriyaki Sauce

Hot Sauce

Honey Mustard

Spicy Mustard

Barbecue Sauce

Horseradish 

also, you know those conveyor belt sushi restaurants where a big conveyor belt is around the tables where the customers sit (kind of like a bar but with an conveyor belt up front), and the chefs being in the center cooking everything, and would serve plates of food onto the conveyor belt, where the customers can get what comes their way as the plates move along the path, and if you don't see what you want you'd ask the chefs, and they'd determine how much you pay by counting the amount of empty plates stacked in a pile from what you've eaten, you know that kind of restuarant, well I would do the same thing for my idea for this place just replace the sushi with french fries, with one side being the conveyor belt and tables and the other being the arcade, and we’d have the best arcade games around

top it off with a setting that’s a mix of nature and Sci-Fi B-Movie (so kind of like what’s going on here in Pajama Sam 3) & I’ve got a good place here

do you think that would be a good idea?

[knickknacksnack]

I do not understand British snack foods

* Going back to the vaults and the time I raided a UK import store for intriguing British snacks. This was when I was still living on the North Shore, so I’m pretty sure it was one of West Vancouver’s many many many UK-themed shops because ex-pats & their descendents have more Britishy Britishness than the original print. (First place for Britishesquity in Canada surely goes to VIctoria, which is basically Britain, but with government workers and totem poles.)

SMITHS FRAZZLES CRISPY BACON FLAVOUR CORN SNACKS

I definitely smell bacon flavour when I open the package - emphasis on bacon flavour. And coffee for some reason, but perhaps that's a phantom association. The pieces look more cornish than bacony, although I see how they went out of their way to artificially colour, in barely visible strips, the cornish pieces so that they faintly resemble bacon. (Maybe peameal bacon that’s extremely heavy on the peameal?) They do taste like bacon . . . very, very salty bacon. I had to drink two cups of water and eat an apple to cleanse my palate afterwards to stave off hypertension. The ingredient list and nutritional information isn't horrible, but it isn't good either. (Saved again by decent sized packaging!) And this bacon snack is suitable for vegetarians! Hooray?

SKIPS TINGLY PRAWN COCKTAIL

There are several reasons why I picked this up, the primary one being the curious absence of a qualifying noun: tingly prawn cocktail . . . . what, exactly? The byline reads “flavour” but “Tingly Prawn Cocktail Flavour” isn’t much help. I'm pretty sure it's not JUST prawn cocktail inside this bag. No such elucidation on the back of the package** - just a playful font announcing that "Skips are the fizzy, light and melty tongue tingly snack. Experience the tingle, balance a Skip on your tongue and let it melt in your mouth!" So that's the second reason why I picked this up: all the "tingly" claims. If this is basically prawn Pop Rocks, then Skips gets +100 points for sheer WTF gusto.

When I open the bag, a familiar scent wafts upwards. It smells . . . . like fish. Fried fish, to be more specific. It smells like a fish & chip kitchen. How they even managed to scent these with seafood AND grease is impressive, though probably not what they were looking for.

Looking at the chips, they look very much like a shrimp cracker. They are totally a shrimp cracker, and the tingliness is merely the dry cracker sucking all the moisture off one's tongue as it dissolves into a very, very, very faint shrimp cocktail-flavoured wad of goo in your mouth. One day, ONE DAY, snack bags are going to live up to their hype. I hold on to hope as I scrape off my tongue.

**Afterwards, in very teeny tiny font, I find my answer: "prawn cocktail flavour tapioca snack". Okay. Well. I see why they left that off the front.

SMITHS SCAMPI FLAVOUR FRIES

"Cereal snack with a delicious scampi and lemon taste," announces the bag. I have no idea what scampi is, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t belong in cereal. I do know it’s an inherently funny word Monty Python used a lot, so I couldn’t resist giving these a try. It tastes of lemon and fish, with a small hint of spice. Surprisingly, they’re quite good. I don’t know how wheat flour and soybean oil can be made to taste like fried fish, but that’s human progress, I suppose. "Scampi" is nowhere in the list of ingredients, but I can ignore my inklings of worry and just enjoy them. At least it’s not tapioca goo.

WALKERS FAMOUSLY WORCESTER SAUCE CHIPS/CRISPS

Fun fact: Britons, in ongoing efforts not to pronounce half the letters in any given place name, have erroneously identified “Worcestershire sauce” as “Worcester sauce”. I can already feel the anger rising and angry comments about to rain down on my ignorant Canadian butt, so I shall direct you the Worcestershireshricesterians themselves. CHECKMATE, BRIT-CHES!

WorcesterSHIRE sauce smells like dirty socks at the bottom of a gym bag, tastes like I don't know because recipes only call for small amounts of it and I'm not sure that I've ever tasted anything else distinctively Worcestershire . . . ian? I suspect this is a sexy sounding flavour to put on a chip/crisp package, but an easy flavour to manufacture in that it's not too far removed from salt & pepper or paprika or roast ox or the like. Expectations: not high. Do they smell like Worcestershire sauce? Thank the heavens, no. They almost smell ketchup chip-y. The taste: it's a lot more complex than I thought it would be. It has a bit of a tang and it's not too salty, It tastes like 3 - 4 different somethings: kind of peppery, kind of vinegary, kind of tomato-y, spicy but not spicy hot. I'd definitely eat these again. Looking at the ingredients, I see these are not flavoured with Worcestershire sauce but with "Worcester(shire) sauce seasoning" which includes: "flavouring" (biggest ingredient . . . and shouldn't that be an adjective and not a noun?), salt, sugar, barley malt vinegar, citric acid, dried onion, dried garlic, fructose, cardamom, ground black pepper, ginger, clove & cocoa powder. Wait. What? These chips could be a half brother to gingersnap cookies.

CALBEE EUROPEAN TASTE BRITISH FISH TARTARE SAUCE FLAVOURED POTATO CHIPS

(IMAGE NOT FOUND)

So. I have notes for these, but no photos. I cannot, for the life of me and after a full day searching on Google, find evidence of their existence (although Calbee DID come out with a line of European Taste chips, some of which I’ve reviewed on this very blog, and I recall being distinctly sad that I didn’t get my hands on the lobster bisque chips). I don’t remember eating these at all and yet, I have notes. Probability that this could have been a hunger-inspired fever dream: 63% These are the notes, verbatim: “I don't know if they're going for the whole fish & chip meal flavour or just "tartare" (tartare or tartar?) flavour. Wait, if this is "fish tartare" isn't that basically sushi? If it's “fish tartar” then I expect a salt & vinegar with a slight mayo-ny flavour. I am hopeful . . . I do like a good tartar sauce, but it's kind of unfeasible to eat it straight out of the jar/bottle with no accompaniment. (Well, I suppose it is, but my life hasn’t become that desperate. Yet.)

There's no tart to the tartar sauce, which is disappointing but not surprising given Calbee's tendency towards timid flavours. They don't taste fishy, even though "fish products" is part of the ingredient list (I’m a little concerned about "fish products"). They do mostly taste like tartar sauce in a roundabout way. Another ingredient is "flavour enhancer" and these chips need more of that -  unless "flavour enhancer" is something that makes tumors far more likely to occur if ingested in large quantities.”

* I feel compelled to note something that I’m sure only I care about. My last entry was full of verb tense flip-flopping and it’s driving me crazy (though not crazy enough to compel me to edit the entry). This is a result of having six-year-old notes written in the present tense (because I wrote them while eating the snacks and not after the fact). I’m picking one tense and sticking with it, and yes, it’s weird to write about something in the past as if it’s happening right the heck now but . . . . no. I don’t have an excuse. You’ll just have to live with it.

[redeyedryu]

Cross Dimensional Problems

Chapter 3 - Uh... | [Ao3]  | 1 | « | x | » |

Have some more of whatever this is, I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Summary: Mmm, popato chisps~!

Popato chisps, as it turns out to your complete and utter disappointment, do not taste all that different from regular potato chips. The weird fizzy, pop-rock like sensation and the way they kind of just… disappear when you swallow is pretty neat, though. A monster food thing, no doubt. Still, talk about a letdown. Doesn't mean you're gonna stop eating them though, as you proceed to stuff yet another into your mouth. They even crunch like a regular potato chip.

“YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THIS? THAT THIS… THIS HUMAN IS FROM SOME PLANE OF EXISTENCE WHERE THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE ME IS NOTHING MORE THAN FICTION? SOMETHING CREATED BY SUCH A WEAK AND FEEBLE RACE?!”

You talk around the chisp you just shoved into your mouth and bring a hand to your chest, a mockery of being flattered. “Aw, love you too, boss,” you say in an overly sweet voice and as the very tall, very loud, very edgy skeleton proceeds to sputter and cough and choke at your words, you simply shove another two chisps into your mouth. He’s shouting, boots stomping against the linoleum of the kitchen floor, but you’re already toning him out.

Sans and the Underswap Papyrus had shuffled you up the basement stairs and into the kitchen, talking amongst themselves about needing to call a house meeting. As it just so happened, your additional company had already been present, apparently preparing some meal or another. It didn't smell like burnt rubber or vinegar so you’re hoping this is one of those takes where the Papyruses and Swap Sans aren't absolutely terrible when it comes to cooking, that they've had enough time to improve and learn that no, glitter is not a key ingredient.

Underfell Papyrus, Swapfell Sans, and regular ol’ Papyrus had been the lucky ones to welcome the newest party crasher (that's you, by the way) to the house. Papyrus had given a rather enthusiastic welcome, complete with bone-crushing (heh) hug. The Fell variants, being not so touchy feely, had merely scowled at you and turned up their skulls in that pretentious manner they’re often presented as being.

Goodness, it was all just so surreal.

You had to tell yourself not to stare because that's rude. Play it off, act as cool as the coolest cucumber. And so you had walked over to the nearby table sat in the middle of the large kitchen and plopped into a seat. Breezily, yet politely because you're no mannerless heathen, you had asked for a bag of popato chisps and Papyrus had all but gasped, affronted that you would choose to eat something so unhealthy—and so soon before dinner! But Sans had shot him some kind of look and the skeleton had ultimately acquiesced. He hadn't done so happily, of course, as he had none too quietly muttered this and that about poor eating habits as he fished a bag from the pantry.

You thanked him when he begrudgingly handed the snack bag to you and had proceeded to munch away while Sans and the Swap Papyrus set about explaining just why exactly a human had trudged up from their basement—and in such lazy attire, no less!

So that leads us back to the present. Underfell Papyrus appears to be taking the news the worst so far, you think. You're not sure, though, he's a hard one to read. Too tsun, too soon.

“SO, HUMAN,” another voice speaks up just as you toss the last popato chisp into your mouth. Judging by the deep, rough rumble not unlike Underfell Sans’s, loud though it may be, you guess it's the only other Sans in the kitchen that is addressing you. When you direct your attention to the source, you are proud to say your deductive skills aren't complete crap.

The Swapfell Sans variant has taken to standing at the table across from you, arms folded over his chest. His sockets are squinted and he's taking advantage of the fact you are sitting down, giving him the height advantage to sneer down at you. Pretentious prick.

Stop being so hot.

“Yes, skeleton,” you reply. His face scrunches up like he smelled something bad and you just smile. 

“WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ON THIS MATTER?” You're not sure how to interpret his tone, nor that question. It sounds like an accusation? Almost as if you're being scolded.

“Uh… Not exactly sure what you mean by that, but uhm… hmm.” You fuss with the popato chisps bag, neatly folding it in on itself--in half, a quarter, an eighth, a sixteenth. “Whether or not you believe me, it's the truth. Where I'm from y’all’re nothing more than fiction and fantasy.” You’re not avoiding meeting their eyes, you're just very interested in this folded up popato chisps bag. It's just so cool. Yup.

The skeleton clicks his tongue and you think you hear the sound of boots tapping out an impatient rhythm.

“PROVE IT,” he says.

That succeeds in drawing your attention.

“Uh…?”

“UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU ARE LYING?” Ah, there's that smug, condescending leer again. You squint at him.

“I'm not lying.”

He waves a hand at you, a signal to, “GO ON, THEN. PROVE IT.”

Your face creases in a rather extreme pout, a breathy exhale forced through your nose. Fine, be that way you pretentious, sexy piece of shit.

You cross your arms and lean back in your chair.

“Well. That’s… there is… there are so many different takes on the AUs that there’s no guarantee anything I say will necessarily add up.” You cast a glance towards Sans, noting he and the rest of the ensemble have paused in whatever bickering they had been involved with with Underfell Papyrus, to listen to you speak. You take that as your cue. “I guess I'll start with the source material. Though bear in mind it's been at least a year or so since I've last played…”

You close your eyes and take a slow, deep breath. You exhale just as slowly, attention once more returned to the folded up popato chisps bag as your fingers itch for something to keep busy with.

Whelp. Here goes.

“Undertale is a pixel RPG style game. Its premise being that you don't have to fight. It's a game where your choices matter, and you can choose whether to fight and kill monsters or show them nothing but mercy.” From your peripheral, you don't miss the way Swapfell Sans’s face tightens, nor the way Sans’s posture seems to tense. “You play as a kid whose name you set in the beginning but eventually learn to be named Frisk, who is their own person separate from you, the player. They essentially act as your vessel.

“They fell into the Unground and start in the Ruins, in a bed of golden flowers. You proceed a room over and are introduced to Flowey. In Swapped universes it's often a toss-up between it still being Flowey, a Temmie, or even Monster Kid. Just depends on who’s writing the story.

“So anyway, you proceed through the Ruins. You meet Toriel, who bakes you a butterscotch cinnamon pie in most routes. When you try to leave she tells you about Asgore and how he’ll kill you if you go through the doors leading to the rest of the Underground. He's done so to all those that preceded you, afterall. So you fight Toriel and then trek towards Snowdin from there.” You pointedly don't look at Sans when you say, “You meet Sans just before a bridge and the whole thing is built up to unsettle you. You cross a stick in the middle of the path that winds up cracking behind you, you hear footsteps in the snow but no one’s there, and when you get to the bridge he’s all,” and here you do a poor imitation of Sans’s deep voice, “ ‘H u m a n. Don't you know how to greet a new pal? Turn around and shake my hand.’ It's a cutscene so your character does that and then a rather long, drawn out whoopie cushion fart sound clip plays.” You hear a couple chuckles off to the side. “Things happen, you hide behind a conveniently shaped lamp, you meet Papyrus, you go through Snowdin. You fight Papyrus, get locked in a shed, then proceed through Waterfall and are dogged by Undyne the entire time… you fight her then you go on to Hotland and all its conveyor belts, steam vents, and lasers. Talk to Alphys and fight Mettaton on his ridiculous show… several times. Then it's what… onto the CORE? The soundtrack there’s really neat. So you make your way through the CORE and you wind up fighting Mettaton Ex and the fight's broadcast throughout the entire Underground? So you beat him and then you're in New Home and you wind up getting the tragic backstory for the King and Queen’s kids. Then you fight Asgore… and after that you fight Flowey. And once that's done you've beaten the game. The ending varies depending on what route you're on and the choices you made.” You decide not to say it also depends on which monsters are still left alive.

You’re bending and twisting the piece of garbage in your hands, a bit nervous for whatever reason to meet anyone’s eyes. Honestly, what are you afraid of?

The room is utterly silent--so quiet, in fact, that you would undoubtedly be able to hear the proverbial pin drop. You take a hesitant peek up at your company and your cheeks heat up and there’s a tingling sensation that crawls down your back as you catch the voided stare of the skeletons around you.

You don't know why but you feel compelled to rush out that, “I only ever managed to do neutral pacifist and true pacifist runs…” before quickly averting your gaze back to the mutilated snack bag. Heck. Why aren't they saying anything? They're the ones who asked! And it's not like you did anything! You didn't bring yourself here, didn't put yourself into this impossible scenario!

Someone say something already!

There's a loud clap and you're ashamed to admit that you very nearly jump out of your seat at the abrupt noise.

“WELL!” Papyrus speaks up, drawing your attention. “I BELIEVE THE HUMAN! THEIR STORY CERTAINLY DOES ADD UP WITH WHAT TRANSPIRED HERE, WITH OUR HUMAN FRIEND. DOESN’T IT, BROTHER?”

Oh bless your beautiful, sweet bones, Papyrus!

All eyes turn to Sans and oh boy. He's doing that blank eye socket thing and he’s sweating.

“y-yeah,” he eventually manages as he brings a bony palm to scrape across the top of his skull. “yeah, paps is right, it checks out.”

Your shoulders slump as tension leaves you. Man, you're going to wind up with all kinds of knots at this rate. The errant thought of whether or not skeletons would be good at giving massages crosses your mind but you stuff it down. Now’s not the time. Maybe later. …maybe.

“WELL. BE THAT AS IT MAY,” Swapfell Sans begins, “THAT DOES NOT EXPLAIN HER APPEARANCE HERE, NOR WHAT SHALL BE DONE WITH HER.”

A cold chill rushes down your spine and your stomach flips. They're not going to throw you out, are they?

Op. There's that tension again.

You shift your gaze to Papyrus, eyes pleading.

“WELL OF COURSE SHE WILL STAY HERE, WITH US!”

Oh sweet baby Jesus, Papyrus you are a saint. That's it, he is absolutely your new favorite.

Underfell Papyrus, on the other hand… he sputters. “I SHOULD THINK NOT!” he protests, gloved hands slamming onto the table. You don't jolt at that, you don't. “WE DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS HUMAN AND YOU WOULD SUGGEST WE KEEP IT HERE? WHERE WE ARE MOST VULNERABLE? PREPOSTEROUS!”

Your brows furrow.

“What?” It's not like you're going to try and dust them in their sleep or anything, what the heck, man.

“OH YOU HEARD ME, HUMAN. I AM WELL AWARE OF YOUR KIND, HOW CONNIVING YOU CAN BE.”

You mouth a silent, “what?” Because… what?

“Uh… I mean. Not that I'm… not uh… flattered? That you’re apparently so intimidated by me but… I wouldn't… I uh… I'm not an asshole.”

Oh dang. Are his cheeks turning red?

… 

Holy shit???

They are!

“I AM NOT INTIMIDATED BY SOMEONE AS WEAK AND PATHETIC AS YOU!” he denies, booted foot slamming against the linoleum as he stands straight, arms crossing over his chest. “I AM MERELY BEING CAUTIONS, WHICH IS MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR THESE GULLIBLE, IDIOTIC CREAMPUFFS!” 

There’s a chuckle, low and deep and sexy. Your eyes flit to Swapfell Sans. There’s an amused air about him, his sharp-toothed grin more relaxed than before.

“I AM NOT AGAINST THE HUMAN STAYING HERE. OF COURSE WE WOULD NEED THE REST OF THE HOUSE TO WEIGH IN ON THE DECISION, BUT SHE IS CLEARLY NO THREAT. SHOULD SHE TRY ANYTHING, SHE WOULD BE EASY ENOUGH TO DISPATCH.”

“Uh… thanks? …I think??” You're a bit on the fence with that reasoning. Also isn't that kind of a threat?

“TCH. SUIT YOURSELVES,” Underfell Papyrus sneers. “BUT DO NOT COME CRYING TO ME WHEN IT ATTEMPTS TO DUST YOU IN YOUR SLEEP.” And much like his brother had in the basement, the edgy skeleton makes an abrupt exit.

Funny how he had voiced your thought, though.

“Should… I be worried about him?” you ask the room.

You're a bit surprised when Underswap Papyrus speaks up, as he had been rather quiet since coming up from the basement. “nah, he’s just a worrywart.”

“I… if you say so…” You're not entirely convinced but, well. Your options are kind of limited.

You're about to ask something else when a rather shrill BEEEEEP cuts through the kitchen.

“AH. THAT WOULD BE DINNER.” Swapfell Sans announces. He turns away from the table and all of you grouped there, to attend to the oven.

And it's only after he says something that you finally register the rather pleasant scent wafting through the air. It entices your hunger, your mouth watering as your stomach grumbles quietly. Popato chisps aren't very filling, after all.

[the-coconut-asado]

Crazy for Kiwi Crickets

When it comes to eating out in Fiji, you are only as good as your last success.

 Consistently get it right and the punters will flock. Anything less than excellent and it’s ‘Maaan that place has gone downhill – but the duck soup at Harbour Centre is the Bomb!’ You can’t actually get duck soup at Harbour Centre, but anything with duck in Suva is a sure-fire winner as they are in constant short supply.

 Fiji is always in pursuit of the New Big Thing. That duck soup place I mentioned was actually the New Big Thing once, so was The Guava Café (doorstep griddled toast and Land of the Giant-sized portions); Singh’s burn-your-ring curry house and the Chinese restaurant at Samabula where you got a decent takeaway and a ringside seat at a sailors’ punch up.

 There are some classics that never go out of fashion. The cream buns at Hot Bread Kitchen – the ‘cream�� is actually buttercream and they sell them in sets of six like monkey bread so yeah, good luck with just eating one; Cardo’s Steakhouse in Denarau – they claim their cattle are descendants of Argentine castaways from the 19th century (kind of yarn that could spark a punch up in that Samabula Chinese restaurant, but the steaks ARE consistently good); Friday seafood lunch at Suva Bowling Club (you may not recognise half the seafood on your plate, and that’s a good thing); And, sadly closed now, The Cottage – tucked behind the main drag in Suva, serving the best local Fiji food and only open at lunchtime. And didn’t we all wail when the owner retired and shut up shop after decades of top-quality chow.

Anyway, it’s quite something when the New Big Thing is your sister-in-law’s café. Weta (Coffee) Fiji, the fifth child of Mue and her husband Darran, opened its doors in March this year. 

The café gets its name from a gerbil-sized cricket native to New Zealand. A quick google search and you can watch a film of a weta fighting a foraging pig, so maybe not exotic pet material. 

While the lion’s share of daily sales will always be the coffee (and we returned with bags of beans to London, it’s that good), it’s the food at Weta that’s getting the lion’s share of hype. World Health Organisation apparatchiks would probably advise not have more than one Honey Butter Waffle a month, yet people are spectacularly carb-loading these Weta signature goodies daily on their way to work. Take a look at the picture below and you could so easily join them.

Aside from the waffle-fest, Mue and cousin Cherie (whose aunt founded that other Fiji café classic Bulaccino) have entered into a kind of foodie face-off with each other, competing to see who can come up with the most mouth-watering innovations. The Honey Butter Waffles already give 1-0 to Mue; but ever thought of combining crispy nuggets of bacon with a rich mayonnaise, slathering it on a chicken schnitzel and sandwiching it all in a toasted mini baguette? Then check out their Chicken Baconnaise Panini and Cherie evens the score. How about a teal-green smoothie that tastes fruity and delicious but you don’t know why? Place your order for their Ugly Green Juice  - a joint invention so let’s call it a draw. I assiduously worked my way through most of their menu over two weeks and couldn’t find much that was less than evil genius.

Because this is a family concern, and Mue does a lot of her experimenting in her own kitchen, I got caught up in the whole entrepreneurial swirl when we were there this summer. Watching while Mue, with apparent carelessness cloaking a keen cook’s eye, tossed ingredients for her Marsala Chai muffins into the food processor at 5 in the morning while simultaneously whipping up a vegan version of her waffle mix. Slavishly watching her EPOS app to see if the sales dial had moved to kerching! levels – in short, generally starting to catch the fever of the hospitality business owner. Is Suva ready for Kava Hot Chocolate? (Kava is the ceremonial drink of Fiji with delicate overtones of mud). Apparently yes, and at least 10 people on the first day of sales had a dreamless sleep that night. Another invention marked up to Mue and another profit stream.

Having eaten our body weight in tropical breakfast patisserie, we left Suva for a few days to head to our own New Big Thing on Fiji’s Other Big Island.   

Savusavu is a picturesque town with a bay big enough to host a fistful of yachts and a marina to moor them. Even though it’s popular, the road to Savusavu – which nestled on the South coast of Vanua Levu - is one less travelled compared to the resort islands of Western Viti Levu. It has a reputation as a millionaire’s playground and we were told ‘be careful, you won’t want to come back’ (do people wrongly assume that we are at home in the company of dicks with yachts?). Anyway, they weren’t wrong about the beauty of the place, and I can now tell them a few tales about some unexpected food epiphanies.

The first was thanks to Sarah, the owner of the Gecko Guesthouse. It said in our Airbnb blurb that she would throw in a cooking lesson if we asked nicely. Which we did, and she obliged, if a little reluctantly at first. We spent one chilled-out evening learning her techniques for snake bean and bitter gourd curries (be sparing rather than slavish with your spices), a-ma-zing fish madras (although we can’t get fresh walu in the West, swordfish would be a decent substitute) and clever hack for cooking rice (err, use an electric rice maker).

However, the piece de resistance of Savusavu is a ‘dive’ (my friend Ije’s word when he saw the Insta post) called Arun’s Hidden Taste of Paradise. 

The name felt a bit at odds with its appearance, which is a little grubby and dishevelled, but don’t be fooled. The clue is in the word ‘hidden’ because if you make it through their mesh-covered door you will taste cassava chips which are meltingly creamy on the inside and quadruple-cooked crispy on the outside and, hands down, the best butter chicken I have eaten in my life. The eponymous Arun, both owner and cook, seemed frankly scared when I asked for a photo, so I didn’t push on asking for the recipe – but kept the flavour profile running around in my head for the rest of the trip.

Obsessed as I was, I hunted down ingredients lists for butter chicken on my bookshelves and I think I have found a pretty good match in Vivek Singh, who based his Cinnamon Club classic on a 1950’s recipe from the Moti Mahal in Old Delhi. But then I saw a recipe for a curry pie in last month’s Delicious Magazine and had the brainwave to make this pie with the butter chicken. And while you might have to make the trip to Suva to get Mue’s original and best Honey Butter Waffles TM, I have slightly adapted her Chai Latte and Choc Chip Muffins  and Ugly Green juice here.

So raise your Ugly-Green juice-filled glass to New Big Things. And watch out for the next one - the launch of Mue and Darran’s Writers Lodge guesthouse with Kava Bar and Weta Café later this Autumn.

You can follow them on @wetafiji. 

 Butter Chicken Pie

You can just make this butter chicken straight with pilau rice and all the trimmings, but turning it into a pie takes it to the next level. This pastry is super short and crispy, thanks to a mix of butter and lard. Don’t be put off by the long list of ingredients or the processes. It’s dead easy over a lazy Sunday and the flavours are so worth it. Serves 4.

 Ingredients:

For the butter chicken:

800g boneless, skinless chicken thighs, cut into bite-sized pieces

One red chilli and some coriander leaves

1 large red pepper, seeded and cut into strips

For the marinade: 

120g Greek yoghurt

5 garlic cloves, grated or crushed

1 inch piece  of ginger, peeled and grated

1 tbsp sunflower oil

Juice of 1 large lemon

Kosher salt and pepper to taste

3 tsp chilli powder

1 tsp ground cumin

½ tsp garam masala

½ tsp turmeric

For the sauce:

8-10 tomatoes

1 in piece of ginger, half grated and half chopped finely

4 garlic cloves, grated or crushed

4 green cardamom pods, 2 cloves, 1 bay leaf

2 tsp chilli powder

80g salted butter, diced

2 green chillies, split lengthwise but still joined at the stem

80ml single cream

A few dried fenugreek leaves

1tsp garam masala

1 tbsp. sugar

For the spiced butter:

1 Tbsp. ghee

1 tsp black mustard seeds

1 tsp. crushed chillies

For the pastry:

230g plain flour

1 tsp kosher salt

65g salted butter, and 50g lard, both chilled and cubed

4tsp. soured cream

1 tbsp. apple cider vinegar( or use white wine vinegar as a substitute)

4 tsp. water

1 egg., beaten

3 tbsp. lime pickle (I like Pataks)

2 tbsp. sugar

How to make:

First marinate the chicken. Mix all marinade ingredients, stir in the chicken, cover and pop in the fridge for at least 2 hours, or preferably overnight.

 Heat the oven to 220C/ Gas 9. Spread the chicken pieces out in one layer on a large baking tray, leaving a margin on the side to say out the strips of red pepper, tossed in a tsp. olive oil. Cook for 15-20 mins, turning the pieces halfway through so that they cook evenly. Remove from the oven and set aside while you make the sauce.

 Slice the tomatoes in half and put in a large saute pan with 125 ml water, grated ginger, garlic, cardamom, cloves and bay leaf. Simmer, covered for about 25 mins until the tomatoes are mushy (the aroma from this simmer will already be driving you wild with desire). Remove the whole spices, add the chilli powder and simmer for a further 10 mins (Vivek likes to push the tomatoes through a sieve and just use the resultant puree, but I prefer my sauce to be a bit more rugged, a little less refined).

 Add the chicken pieces and the red pepper slices and all their juices and give it a good stir. Slowly stir in the butter, a couple of cubes at a time, and simmer for about 8 minutes until the chicken is cooked through. Add the chopped ginger, chillies and cream and simmer for a minute or two longer. Stir in 1 tsp.kosher salt, crumble in the fenugreek leaves and the garam masala. Adjust the seasoning if necessary then add the sugar.

 In a separate small pan, warm up all the ingredients for the spiced butter until the seeds start to pop. At this stage you can serve the Butter Chicken with the spiced butter spooned over the top, but if progressing with the pie (which I urge you to do) , then set both the chicken and the spiced butter to one side.

Now make the pastry (you can also make this ahead and chill, just bring back to room temperature before rolling out). Combine the flour , salt and a generous grind of black pepper in a food processor. Add the butter and lard and blitz until it has the texture of fine breadcrumbs. In a separate bowl, mix the soured cream, vinegar and water then add to the flour and butter mix and just blitz until the mixture starts to come together (don’t overwork it). Turn out onto a floured surface and bring together into a smooth ball. Wrap in cling film then chill for at least 30 mins.

Heat the oven to 200C/ Gas 6. Brush the rim of your pie dish with the beaten egg, then fill the dish with the butter chicken and drizzle the spiced butter all over the surface. Roll out the pastry in a circle big enough to cover the pie dish, then lay over the top of the dish, crimping the edges to seal and trim off any surplus pastry to neaten the edges. Cut a small cross in the middle to let the steam out during cooking and make some pastry leaves with any pastry offcuts.

Brush all over with the rest of the egg glaze then pop in the fridge for 10 minutes.During that 10 minutes, make the lime pickle glaze by mixing the pickle with 2 tbsp. boiling water and the sugar. Set aside.

Bake the pie for 40 mins then brush all over with the lime pickle glaze and bake for 15 mins more. Serve garnished with the chilli (dipped in a little oil to make it glisten) and a few coriander leaves.

 Mue’s Chai Latte Choc Chip Muffins (and some variations)

When I asked Mue for the recipe she had to quantify her instincts on ingredients, (and thanks for leaving out the eggs first time round missus) but the results were judged by those who ate them as ‘the best they have ever had’. I have slightly adjusted the recipe, using chai latte mix instead of masala chai and used my favourite buttermilk instead of sour cream. (makes 12 generous muffins)

Ingredients:

3.5 cups flour (about 350g) plain flour

3 tbsp. baking powder

1 tbsp chai latte powder

Pinch kosher salt

125g butter, melted

200g sugar

2 tbsp. Coconut oil, melted

2 tsp vanilla

2 cups buttermilk and maybe a tbsp of milk

2 eggs

1 50g packet of chocolate chips plus a few extra for serving

For the streusel topping: 

20g plain flour

10g sugar

10g butter

1 tsp. Chai latte powder

How to make

Heat the oven to 220C/ Gas 7-8. Line a 12 cup muffin tin with muffin holders (I like the tulip-shaped ones in the photo). 

In a large bowl, mix the flour, baking powder, sugar, chai latte powder and salt. In separate bowl mix the melted, cooled butter and coconut oil with the beaten eggs, Buttermilk, splash of milk (1 tbsp) and the vanilla paste. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and mix with a wooden spoon until a thick, gloopy consistency. Add a little more milk if the mix is too stiff. You want it not quite falling off your spoon. Then fold in the chocolate chips. 

In a third bowl, rub the butter into the flour until you have fine breadcrumbs then mix in the sugar and chai latte. 

Fill the muffin cups evenly (about 2 tbsp. Mix per cup), then top with the streusel and pop in the oven, turning the heat down immediately to 180C/ Gas 5. Bake for 30 mins until a skewer comes out clean from the centre, then remove from the oven and dot each muffin with a few more chocolate chips cool and serve. 

Variations

For Blueberry muffins, omit the chai latte powder and choc chips and stir in 3 oz fresh blueberries into the muffin mix. Bake as before. 

For Apple, Pecan and Golden Syrup muffins. Melt 2 tbsp golden syrup with the butter and coconut oil, then add all the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients as before. Fold in 1 grated apple and 50g coarsely chopped pecans into the muffin mix then bake as before. Dot each muffin with a few more chopped pecans when out of the oven and before they cool. 

Mue and Cherie’s Ugly Green Juice

This is the colour of verdigris but tastes delightful. Just shut your eyes and drink (or colour match with your nail polish, like here). 

Ingredients: 

½ cup frozen strawberries

2 tsp acai berry powder or lingonberry powder

2 tsp Splenda or Stevia sweetener

4 tsp. Spirulina

1-2 Cups nut milk (try to get a nice think consistency, so start with 1 cup and add more to taste

How to Make

Put all your ingredients into a blender, blitz till smooth and serve. 

It’s that simple.

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What’s the most iconic food around the world? Let’s find out!

“Cooking is all about people. Food is maybe the only universal thing that really has the power to bring everyone together. No matter what culture, everywhere around the world, people eat together.”

– GUY FIERI –

What is the most iconic food around the world? The world is a gastronomic paradise; it harbours diverse culinary uniqueness in each corner. How many cuisines contribute to describing a particular destination and what would a local suggest to taste or where to find it?

If you look a little closer, you’ll soon learn that the best dishes in the world can be an up-close lens on the destination’s history and culture. Despite their ancient origins, the dishes have been modernised for the palates of today’s world.

Different food from around the world

Every foodie enjoys tasting their way around the world by indulging in traditional cuisines, by trying a new flavour for the first time or getting to enjoy an iconic dish they’ve heard about. We learn about different cuisines by tasting the most popular signature dishes and staple ingredients of each country.

A culinary journey across the globe is the best way to discover its culture and cuisine. This makes it the pure delight of culinary travel.

What’s even better than eating the best food in the world? You get to have a new food experience and enjoy another new dish. So, let’s take a look at the most iconic food from around the world. These are 10 different nations with their famous and traditional dishes, starting in the UK!

Warning: This list of food from around the world will make you hungry!

British Cuisine

Yes, one can’t really talk about Britain without mentioning one of the most well-known and distinct cultures on Earth: the British culture. With its own dialects, customs, art, literature and history; it is easy to see why many consider it to be one of the richest cultures in existence.

Britain has a wide variety of cuisine and holds an excellent culinary reputation. In fact, these dishes are some of the best food from around the world. However, culinary expertise in the UK is not new. Moreover, Influenced by the Romans, Anglo-Saxons, French and even other parts of Europe: In essence, a hodgepodge of diverse styles and traditions.

Fish and Chips – Fish and Chips are presumably the most popular British food known across the globe.

English Breakfast – English breakfast is served with bacon, sausages, egg, baked beans, black pudding, fried toast, hash browns, mushrooms, and egg. Best enjoyed with a cuppa or fruit juice.

Roast Dinner – A traditional roast dinner consists of different roasted meats like chicken breast, turkey, pork, and beef. This is accompanied by seasonal vegetables, roasts, potatoes, and gravy.

Bangers and Mash – A famous British pub food. A dish comprising sausages, mash potatoes, and onion gravy.

Trifle – A strawberry flavoured classic British dessert made up of layers of cake rolls, custard, jelly, cream, and fruit toppings.

Italian Cuisine

My personal favourite, Italian cuisine, is one of the oldest, most beloved cuisines and considered some of the best food from around the world. With extraordinary diversity of flavours, richness and depth, offering something for everyone’s taste buds.

Italian food varies from region to region and associates with various kinds of pasta and pizza. In reality, Italian food is ever-changing, from endless combinations and new adaptations. What makes Italian food one of the best food from around the world is not just its flavours but also its diversity and also an Italian meal can be expected to be structured as follows: Antipasto (appetiser), primo (rice or pasta), second (meat), and dolce (dessert).

Pizza – Pizza is a flat dough topped with tomato sauce, mozzarella, and basil. (More toppings are added to create different variants of pizza)

Risotto – An Italian version of creamy rice cooked in vegetable or meat stock, cheese and wine after frying it in sautéed onions.

Lasagna  – Lasagna is traditional Italian comfort food made in pasta sheets, meat, sauce, and cheese.

Ossobuco alla Milanese – Ossobuco is slow-cooked veal in white wine, meat broth, and vegetables seasoned with lemon zest, garlic, and parsley.

Gelato – Gelato is a rich variant of ice cream in terms of density, texture and is more intense in flavour.

French Cuisine

Like Italian food, French cuisine was also one of the world’s first cuisines and has taken its flavours around the globe. Admittedly, French cuisine is an art, so rich in regional variations. The French take great pride in their traditions of cooking. The modern way of cooking takes a lot from roots in France, and for decades, French food has been an elegant cuisine. This ranges from sylvan, robust, and healthy to the finest meals. A typical French meal would consist of bread, cheese, and wine.

Boeuf Bourguignon – Boeuf Bourguignon, a classic French beef stew made with red wine, pearl onions, mushrooms and bacon.

Croque Monsieur – A sandwich is taken to the next level! Grilled ham and velvety béchamel cheese sauce sandwich.

Croissants – Croissants are crescent-shaped buttery, flaky pastries perfectly crisp on the outside, tender and moist on the inside.

Coq Au Vin – A version of red wine chicken stew, cooked on a low heat to perfection.

Cherry Clafoutis – A popular cherry dessert in France! Juicy, sweet cherries wrapped in a rich batter and baked into a mixture of a cake and custard.

Chinese Cuisine

Some of the best food in the world, Chinese cuisine has taken over many parts of the world by storm! I mean, I’m sure you’ve had a Chinese take-away meal at least once in your life. This particular cuisine classifies its regional diversity into different styles: Cantonese, Szechuan, Hunan, Zhejiang, Shandong, Anhui, and Fujian. Each food tradition is formed by the regions’ history, climate, geography, and lifestyle.

Sichuan Pork – Sichuan Pork is spicy poached slices of pork coated with egg-white and starch to preserve its freshness and tenderness.

Dumplings – Dumplings comprise a filling of minced meat and chopped vegetables wrapped in a thin dough skin.

Peking Roasted Duck – Peking duck is a duck roast savoured for its thin and crispy skin, a world-famous dish from Beijing.

Chow Mein – Chow mein is a stir-fried noodles dish consists of meat (chicken, beef, shrimp, or pork), onions, and celery.

Kung Pao Chicken – Kung Pao Chicken is a famous Sichuan-style dish made with diced chicken, dried chilli, and fried peanuts.

American Cuisine

The best way to explain American cuisine is that it is a blend of different cuisines. In other words, it is a mongrel, where different ethnic groups contributed to the nation’s food traditions. American cuisine has drastically changed over the years, as have American lifestyles.  Some of these dishes were contributed by Native Americans, Colonial Americans, and Modern Americans. These were adapted, changed, and invented, becoming all-American dishes. Similarly, many dishes are regionalised, such as soul food in the south, Tex-Mex cooking in Texas, etc.

Hot dogs – There is no need for a special introduction for the “All-American” hotdog, a hotdog (sausage) wedged between a bun.

Philly cheesesteak – A Philly cheesesteak is a sandwich made by grilling chopped beef, onions, and cheese then laid into a long Amoroso bun.

Grits – Grits is a creamy porridge-like dish made with whole dried white corn kernels that can go plain, savoury, or sweet.

Mexican flat enchiladas – Mexican or Tex-Mex style enchiladas smothered in red chilli sauce or green topped with an optional fried egg.

Apple pie – Apple pie is a sweet dish that features a sweet apple filling and a flaky butter crust with a shimmering lattice pie crust.

Indian Cuisine

It’s hard to put Indian cuisine in a nutshell because of the country’s regional diversity and vast history. The early Indian cuisine relied heavily on a class system which dictated what people were able to eat. However, in more recent times, the cuisine has been a combination of traditional dishes and many international influences. The most common misinterpretation about Indian food is that many of us think it’s all curries. But in reality, it isn’t. An essential factor of Indian cuisine is that the blends of spices are designed to bring out the ultimate flavour.

Murgh Makhani (Butter Chicken) – Murgh Makhani is by far one of the deliciously best dishes in the world. This hot dish made with chicken tastes great with flatbreads.

Rogan Josh (Red Lamb) – A delectable spicy dish, Rogan Josh, is a red lamb stew prepared with a long list of spices, red chillies, and coconut cream.

Palak Paneer (Spinach and Cottage Cheese) – A popular Indian dish Palak paneer, a mildly flavoured dish made with spinach and cottage cheese with Indian spices.

Naan (Indian Flatbread) – Naan, a flatbread traditionally cooked in a tandoor oven, goes with anything, including curries and stews.

Gulab Jamun – An Indian sweet delight, a festive favourite made with milk solids, fried until golden and doused in saffron induced sugar syrup.

Japanese Cuisine

Food in Japan is plausibly one of the unique cuisines. The reason being that many ingredients used in their cooking can very rarely be found in other cuisines. It’s not all about sushi and tofu. The art of Japanese cuisine is prepared meticulously based on the proper seasoning and fresh ingredients.

Sushi – Sushi is some of the best food from around the world. This traditional Japanese dish consists of vinegar-flavoured rice rolls served with vegetables and raw seafood.

Sashimi – Sashimi is similar to sushi, but raw fish is sliced into small bite-sized pieces without the rice.

Tempura – Tempura is a dish prepared with seafood, meat, and vegetables covered in flour and egg batter then deep-fried in oil.

Soba and Udon – Soba or buckwheat noodles and Udon or wheat noodles are made by immersing the noodles into broth enjoyed hot or cold.

Wagashi – Wagashi are traditional Japanese sweets made using mochi rice cakes, Anko paste, agar, chestnuts, and sugar.

Lebanese Cuisine

Cuisine in Lebanon food includes many fresh ingredients like vegetables, fruits, seafood, and little animal protein. These ingredients are meticulously prepared in a fusion of Mediterranean and Arabic influences. The most significant feature of this fantastic food is the mezze, a selection of salads, vegetable dips, pickles, and Arabic bread. In recent years, people have come to celebrate the extraordinary flavours of Lebanese food.

Baba Ghanoush – Baba Ghanoush is a hummus-like dip made from eggplant served with pita bread and drizzled with olive oil.

Manakeesh – The Lebanese version of pizza, Manakeesh, is made with meat, cheese, zaatar. Manakeesh is served with tomatoes, cucumbers, fresh mint leaves, and olives.

Falafel – Falafel is made from deep-fried crushed chickpeas, served in a pita pocket with vegetables and tahini sauce.

Fattoush – Fattoush is a traditional Lebanese salad.

Baklava – Baklava is a golden flakey pastry made of filo dough, honey, and assorted nuts.

South African Cuisine

South African cuisine is extensive, culturally diverse, nourishing, and hearty, very much like the locals. Traditional South African cuisine is downright authentic, with influences induced by each culture. With the freshest ingredients from farm to table, the food here is amazingly delectable, making it one of the best foods from around the world!

Chakalaka – Chakalaka is a spicy vegetarian dish of tomato, beans, peppers, onions, and curry. This can be enjoyed with anything — rice, meat, bread, or other veggies.

Bunny chow – Bunny chow is a world-renowned dish made up of a hollowed-out loaf of bread filled with a chicken, pork curry, or a lentil and bean combo.

Bobotie – Bobotie, made up of minced meat, is cooked in curry, herbs & spices, and dried fruit, topped with a milky-eggy custard, and baked until golden brown.

Potjiekos – A dish of potjiekos features meat, potatoes, biltong, and vegetables slowed cooked over an outdoor fire.

Malva Pudding – Malva Pudding is a sweet, spongy cake made with apricot jam and a cream sauce poured on top.

Caribbean Cuisine

Food from the Caribbean is a delicious mix of French cuisine, African cooking, and local foods! Caribbean food is delightfully spicy, warming, and eloquent. Food staples include peppers, sweet potato, coconut, plantain, mutton, tropical fruits, and leafy green vegetables, all prepared into a heady concoction.

Jerk chicken – Chicken marinated with hot Jerk spice and served with rice and peas. Jerk chicken is one of the most traditional food in Jamaica.

Ackee and saltfish – Ackee and saltfish, Jamaica’s national dish, is prepared with ackee fruit and salted codfish, suitable for mealtime.  

Macaroni pie – Macaroni pie is comfort food in the Caribbean; a cheesy baked pasta dish is delicious with stewed or barbecued chicken.

Lambi – Lambi’s main ingredient is Conch. The dish is prepared with a combination of Conch, curry powder, coriander, thyme, and marinating with other spices.

Jamaican Rum Cake – A Bundt cake with a moist and tender crumb smothered in sweet butter and rum syrup.

Oh boy! That’s a long list of the best food from around the world! So, if you would like to go on a culinary adventure and taste your way around the globe, give Travel Center UK a call or drop us a line, and we’ll be glad to assist you in planning your next trip.

Read More:- What’s the most iconic food around the world? Let’s find out!

This Article, Information & Images Source (copyright):- Travel Center UK Blog

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How to Stock Your Pantry for the Semi-Apocalypse*

It’s been a rough couple of weeks for many of my friends in the United States, what with the pestilence, the lack of leadership, the hoarding in the supermarkets, and it’s not even the post-Apocalyptic dystopian future we were promised.

However, what’s been slowly creeping into my Facebook feed of late are the first hints of food boredom.

Even those who can afford to order in their favorite Chinese or Mexican, those menus are getting a bit long in the tooth. What once was an “every couple of weeks” guilty pleasure of General Tsao’s chicken, “special” fried rice and a bottle of your favorite twist-off cap Shiraz has lost its charm.

Anyone who follows my Instagram account knows that nothing comes between me, food and cocktails. I’m the guy who when answering the questionnaire at a new doctor’s office warily counters the “how many alcoholic drinks do you have a week” inquiry with a defensive, “Why do you need to know?”

“I hear you like to cook?” I’m often asked when being introduced to new friends and colleagues and my go-to answer is, “Yes, but I prefer to eat.”

And that’s why I cook. I wish I could say I find cooking to be this relaxing past-time, where I spend anywhere from 15-minutes to several hours whipping up a quick pasta sauce or creating a complex Indian curry, listening to Adelle or Carly Simon—a glass of Muscadet in hand. But, no. Cooking, for me, is an ordeal and a means to an end.

Homemade beef pho broth.

But that’s doesn’t mean it can’t be somewhat enjoyable; your food doesn’t have to be predictable or monotonous. And, if you’re going to be confined to your home for three to four weeks, this is where you have to improvise, to grab the whisk by the handle and make the magic happen.

The Basics

First, if you’re entering week three of isolation and it’s time to hit the markets, let’s think smart and make sure your fridge and pantry are stocked with the vitals. If you have food allergies or adopted a lifestyle that has dietary restrictions, please, swap out as needed.

Some of you have been furloughed or lost your jobs, so this is a reasonably priced list offering staples that will last a long time and give days, if not weeks, and in some cases, months of value. Buy what you feel is necessary. As Stephen Casuto, host and creator of one of my favorite cooking shows, Not Another Cooking Show, says, “You, do you.”

“Table salt is disgusting and should only be used for rubbing into the wounds of your enemies.”

The Carbs:

Pasta — enough for at least six meals for two people with leftovers, or three meals for four people (spaghetti/linguini and some kind of tube or macaroni—rotini, fusilli. etc.)

Rice — My old standby is Jasmine rice. Prepared properly it can be used in all kinds of dishes—plain, Mexican, Spanish, Asian, Indian, Italian.

The Vegetables:

Potatoes—Technically, a carb, but, hey. Both waxy (Yuko Golds, Red Bliss or similar) and floury (Idaho, Russet or similar). Keep in a cool, dry drawer, these can last for weeks if stored properly.

Preparing the base for a Pasta Fagioli soup.

Carrots—Large ones with their greens preferred, but if the hoarders have bought all those, then freakish manicured baby carrots.

Tomatoes—firm, preferably on the vine and not quite ripe yet. Only get about four to six so you will use them and they won’t rot and go to waste. Great for sandwiches, avocado toast, chopped into an omelet.

Onions—Yellow and Red (Yellow for most of the sauteeing and cooking you’re going to do, and red for fresh salads, sandwiches, and salsas)

Garlic—Two to three decent-sized bulbs, stored with the onions and potatoes. (Remember: Warm and humid makes your garlic and onions grow into stinky house plants.)

The easy and delicious weekday sauce.

Peppers—Depending on what you love or what you can tolerate, get at least two bell peppers or Italian green peppers, maybe a handful of hot red birdseye chillis, or some habaneros. These will add color and sparkle to everything from a salad to some scrambled eggs.

Celery—I’m of two minds when it comes to celery. First, it’s a vital part of mirepoix, that magical combination of onions, carrots, and celery that’s the basis of most Western soups and stews. But, unless you’re on a rabbit diet, people tend to buy it, use less than half a bunch in one minestrone soup then end up chucking the rest away. But, hey, you’re the cook.

Herbs—Get the dried kind out of desperation: bay leaves, oregano, thyme, rosemary. But, always get fresh parsley and basil.

Dried Goods:

Flour—White, all-purpose flour and Cornmeal (making cornbread for breakfast is a simple warm treat. Everyone should be able to cook this from scratch).

Thickeners—Corn starch, potato starch; I recently discovered xanthan gum and if you’re one of those folks taken by “molecular gastronomy” or food as a science project, this is one of the weirder thickening agents on the market.

Cornbread can be made in less than an hour.

Leavening Agents—Baking soda and baking powder. (Unless you’ve decided you really love baking artisanal bread, you really don’t need yeast).

Salt—Preferably sea salt, or kosher salt. Remember different salts have different salinities, so a “pinch” of pink Himalayan salt is less salty than a similar size “pinch” of Morton’s Table Salt, which, by the way, is disgusting and should only be used for rubbing into the wounds of your enemies. So, get a salt that fits your budget, your health needs, and your personal flavor profile. I prefer sea salts, they have a richness I like and I feel I can control seasoning better.

Pepper—Black peppercorns, of course, but nothing beats having a box or container of white pepper. It’s got a completely different flavor profile than black pepper and adds a wonderful heat to everything from mashed potatoes to cream soups.

Eggs and Dairy

Milk—If you’re lactose intolerant or vegan/vegetarian you can substitute soy milk or your favorite substitute here, but not almond milk because that shit is a ripoff and is killing the planet.

Cream—You will want this for mashed potatoes and to thicken some sauces.

Butter—Always buy Kerrygold Irish Butter, salted and unsalted. It’s the best butter out there. Fight me.

Making a chicken curry from scratch

Plain Yogurt—I prefer Greek yogurt myself. It’s handy to have around and a great way to add richness to a baked item if you only have low-fat milk or to make a quick fresh fruit breakfast.

Cheese—If you must, get a bag of shredded cheddar and a bag of “parmesan”. Cheeses are personal taste, I love fatty, creamy, stinky cheeses, but, honestly, they don’t last long and they are an extravagance for many people at this time. So, get what you like, but make sure you at least have a nice chunk of quality cheddar or similar cheese around.

Eggs—A dozen, big ones. Free-range if you feel guilty.

This Singapore-style laksa is easy and quick.

A Bit of the Sweet

Sugar—Processed sugar is evil. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, always have some handy. It’s great to throw a tablespoon into a tomato-based sauce to offset the acidity. And there is nothing like a lovely stack of homemade pancakes covered in melted butter, a sprinkling of sugar and a squeeze of fresh lemon juice.

Brown Sugar—Less sweet, a little smokey and great for Asian broths that ask for processed sugar. And, it’s “good” for you because, you know, it’s not processed.

Maple Syrup—For pancakes and French Toast.

Condiments:

Ketchup—Whatever you like. Though raised on American Heinz ketchup, I prefer the British brands that tend to use a little more vinegar, but that is an acquired taste.

Mayonaise—The magical base for so many different dressings and sauces. Yes, I will sit down with a plate of french fries or steak-cut chips and a cup of mayo and just go to town on that. Also, dipping cold, boiled chicken that’s torn into strips and wrapped in chilled, crisp iceberg lettuce into mayo while drinking a dry white wine on a hot summer’s day is one of God’s little miracles.

Fried halloumi cheese on a run of the mill avocado toast makes it better.

Mustard—Go ahead, buy French’s American Mustard in a squeeze jar. I don’t judge. But, please get some good Dijon Mustard, and some English Mustard, wet or the powder, is really handy to have for extra punch.

Vinegar—Plain old white vinegar if you're on a budget, but red wine, is also good. Italian balsamic if you want to live large, but I find a bottle of Japanese rice wine vinegar is the perfect all-rounder.

Hot sauce—Tobasco and Siraccha are my go-to faves, but you know what you like.

Olive Oil—Get Extra-Virgin and plain. the EVOO is great for both cooking and for finishing dishes and for cold dressings and sauces. Plain olive oil is great for adding flavor to simple fried sauces and dishes.

Vegetable Oil—A good neutral oil is Canola. It won’t kill you.

Prepared Foods

Canned Goods—at least one can of each: chickpeas, black beans, and kidney beans. Also, a can of mushrooms and a couple of cans of diced green chillis. Two to three 24-ounce cans of Italian tomatoes, with our without basil.

Frozen vegetables—A package of corn and a package of peas. One package of mixed vegetables for making quick healthy soups.

Broths and stocks—Beef, chicken, and vegetable. Fish stock for the more adventurous. (If you haven’t had sliced potatoes slow-cooked in fish stock, I totally recommend it, simple and delicious.) I always buy low-sodium because my body is, like, you know, a temple. 🙄

Actually, always try to purchase low sodium processed foods, that gives you, the cook, more power over the seasoning of your meals.

Thai beef soup with beef balls.

Now, you’re thinking, why is this guy torturing us with pictures of beautiful, exotic home-cooked meals? Why are so many of the “basics” not as exciting as the final products?

That’s because now is the time to get what I’ll call…

The New Basics

You’ve hit the local Vons, or Trader Joe’s, Publix or Wegman’s; you’ve emptied your wallet at Whole Foods and Kroeger, now let’s get some real food. Head down to your local Asian supermarket, or your local South American/Mexican supermarket, because this is where it gets interesting.

The Carbs:

Noodles—From Japanese soba, udon and Hokkaido (ramen) noodles to the long, translucent Vietnamese and Thai rice noodles to the tightly wound, sometimes flavored Chinese noodle nests, most of these keep a long time in a dry cool place and they cook quickly offering alternative tastes and textures.

The Vegetables:

Fresh Ginger Root—it’s ugly and essential, but it can change the flavor of everything from a simple broth to a quick scrambled egg into a culinary adventure. No, don’t peel it with a spoon, that’s silly. Just use a sharp knife on the extraneous knobbly bits and then use a vegetable peeler like a normal person. Honestly, I see the YouTube chefs wrestling with a chunk of ginger and a tablespoon and I just shake my head.

Choy Sum and/or Bak Choy—Definitely hunt these down at the Asian grocer. They stay fresh longer in a good vegetable crisper in your fridge; they’re easy to clean and prepare and cook very quickly.

Chayote—A green, waxy squash that is like a more flavorful cucumber, with a great texture. Add it to all your veggie soups, or saute it with some garlic. Just handy. And keeps in the fridge for a long time.

Condiments:

Soy sauce—Get both kinds, dark soy sauce and light soy sauce. The difference isn’t the color, it’s the viscosity and the flavor. Dark soy sauce is actually somewhat sweet, unctuous and thick and adds deep rich flavors to stews, soups, and sauces. Soy sauce is a nice alternative to just seasoning with salt. Get low sodium, if dietary restrictions are in place, but you don’t really need to use too much, so, I always go with regular.

Chili Oils/Pastes—Much like the fresh peppers, this is all about personal taste. I love spicy food, but I’m not a fan of heat for heat’s sake. So, no a jalapeno margarita where I can’t taste anything or feel my lips is not a great culinary experience. Still, always have these little miracle jars handy, you control the heat by how much or how little you add to the dish you’re preparing. My three faves are traditional Chinese chili garlic sauce, Chiu Chow chili oil, and Calabrian chili oil.

Vinegar — Plain old white vinegar if you’re on a budget, but red wine, is also good. Italian balsamic if you want to live large, but I find a bottle of Japanese rice wine vinegar is the perfect all-rounder.

Fish sauce—Don’t let the name and smell deter you, a spoonful of this elixir in a soup or dressing adds a lovely saltiness and brightness.

Sesame Oil—Plain or toasted. This is for flavor only, really. You can add it to dressings, or add it to vegetable oil when sauteeing, but you can’t cook with it because it burns very quickly; that said, it gives a great depth of flavor to any dish you add it to.

Frozen Foods:

Dumplings—Either factory-made or handmade, Asian dumplings are inexpensive, delicious and easy to prepare. Beef, pork, shrimp, and vegetable or a combination of two or more fillings are always available. Korean dumplings tend to be larger. Wontons are light and mostly shrimp or shrimp and pork. If you’re lucky to have a vibrant Asian community, find the “Mom and Pop” store that makes both noodles and dumplings. Fresh dumplings are usually packed with a light dusting of corn or potato starch so they can be easily frozen.

Asian-style meatballs—OK, now these have a texture that takes a little getting used to, but they are packed with protein and flavor and cook up in seconds in a frying pan or in a soup. Pork, beef, and shrimp are the most popular. I love them and find they really make a noodle soup a quick, but truly satisfying meal.

Canned Goods:

Coconut Milk—From Indian to Thai to Malaysian cuisine, this is mother’s milk. Get a couple of cans.

Peppers—Canned chipotles. Smoked in a flavorful sauce, a little goes a long way here. But you can add these to soups and basic stews to create great depths of heat and flavor.

Okay, now this is by no means a definitive list, but it’s enough I think to give you as many options as you can once you return home and prepare for the next few weeks of personal time.

As you’ve seen, I’ve included links to some of my favorite recipes with the pictures, it’s from these recipes that I reevaluated and changed how I stock my fridge and pantry.

It’s also helped inform my cooking. Bored with cereal and toast, and fried eggs, or scrambled eggs or an omelet with bacon, one morning I created what is now my favorite, flavorful, high protein, yet not too filling breakfast; scrambled eggs and dumplings. It’s my recipe, inspired by other more traditional recipes and the food I had available at the time. It’s what Chef John from the delightful Food Wishes refers to as “that’s just you, cooking.”

The First Recipe

Ingredients:

Three eggs, room temperature, well beaten, preferably in a metal bowl with a whisk

One to two scallions or a half/third of a small yellow onion, finely chopped

One chili pepper (in this case, a Thai green chili), finely chopped.

Four to six frozen Asian dumplings depending on what type

2 Tablespoons — Vegetable oil

1 Tablespoon — Sesame oil

Chiu Chow chili oil or Sriracha

Soy Sauce

Salt

In a small saucepan bring water to a boil. In a small frying pan add your vegetable oil, the onions, and chilis and some salt and turn on the heat.

You want the onions and chilis to cook slowly and sweat, not burn or brown so keep an eye on them and keep stirring.

Now once the vegetables are cooked and the kitchen smells delicious, add a tablespoon of sesame oil into vegetables and lower the heat.

Now, the water should be at a rolling boil. Add the dumplings. I used Korean pork dumplings this morning. They only take three to five minutes to cook. You will know they are done when they float and spin freely in the water.

Now, turn up the heat of the frying pan and add in the eggs, keep stirring and cook the eggs as you like them. Take the eggs off the heat, the residual heat should finish the cooking.

Meanwhile, the dumplings should be cooked. Strain them and place them in the bottom of a bowl. Then scoop over the eggs, finish with a tablespoon or two of soy sauce and the chili sauce of your choosing.

This is a 15-minute breakfast, tops. I hope this was helpful. It’s a trying time for everyone and many of us are fortunate enough to have a roof over our heads that we can cower under. This is an opportunity for reflection, but also to make the most of your family or companions. For those of you living alone, treat yourself to a culinary feast once in a while.

I say cooking is an ordeal, but it’s also a celebration. A chance to be creative and offer comfort, if not for yourself, for the people you live with and love.

Go break an egg.

*This article is the inspiration for this blog and was previously published on Medium.

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

17 - Robert to Aaron.

Thanks for the prompt :), I hope this is what you wanted. I strangely enjoyed writing it...please don’t hate me!

Warning for possible/definite breakup ahead.

“Robert come on, we can talk about this!” He tries to shrug off the hand that’s clinging to his sleeve, knows if he doesn’t get out of here this second he’s going to break down and he can’t, won’t, not in front of Aaron, not now.

“No, Aaron. It’s too late.”

“You don’t have to leave, we can get past this, forget it ever happened.”

“Forget?” Robert scoffed, finally shaking off Aaron’s grip. “You cheated on me! What am I supposed to do? Smile and forgive you? You know, I thought it would be me, that I’d screw it up. Guess I was wrong, huh.” He can’t look at him, it hurts too much. “I’ll be back for the rest of my stuff.”

“Robert, please!”

“Bye Aaron.” As he closes the door behind him, he’s pretty sure he can hear his heart breaking.

Five weeks since he walked in on Aaron and him.

Five weeks since he’d left Aaron.

Five weeks since he’d left Emmerdale.

Five weeks since he had a clue what to do.

He’d just got into the car at first, sat there eyes burning with tears that he wouldn’t shed. Aaron hadn’t come after him, he was glad about that at least. It had taken everything to walk out the door, to leave him, even after everything. Like he’d said, he’d always thought that he would be the one to mess them up, do something that would break them. He never in a million years thought it would be Aaron. It still felt like a dream, or a nightmare.

Aaron had been calling and texting, almost non-stop for two weeks. He hadn’t answered, didn’t have anything to say, there was nothing to say. He hadn’t spoken to anybody, had texted Vic once a week to tell her he was alive, he was safe. Everyone else had been ignored. Even Liv. He was glad she wasn’t around, was staying with her Mum in Dublin for the summer. He’d have to go back, one day, face everybody. He knew that, but not yet.

Right now he was sitting on a beach, on the North Norfolk coast looking out to sea. When he’d started driving he’d had no idea where he was heading. Anywhere away from the village, from the inevitable stares and pointing fingers. No doubt some would blame him, no matter what the reality. He’d ended up here, this run down quaint little town where no one knew him. He’d found a hotel and here he’d stayed, taking long walks along the beach during the day, drinking long into the night. He knew he was running away from the problem, it couldn’t last forever.

It had taken four weeks give or take for him to even think about being ready to talk to Aaron, days more to actually text him and ask him to come here. Robert didn’t want to talk in the village, surrounded by well meaning, interfering family members. He didn’t even know what he was going to say, what he wanted.

He loved Aaron, that hadn’t changed, but was that enough? Could he get past this? Perhaps it was some kind of weird karma, his past coming back to bite him. All he knew was he was tired, didn’t feel like he’d slept since he left and he couldn’t run away forever. He’d tried that before.

He looked at his watch, Aaron should be here soon. It’s evening, the place winding down for the day. He quite liked it here, it reminded him of the few holidays his family had taken when he was a boy, when it was just him and his Mum and Dad. They’d had fish and chips and ice cream. He always wanted candy floss but his Dad always said no, said he wasn’t paying for a bag of air that would rot his teeth. Just to spite him, Robert had bought himself a bag on his second day here. It didn’t taste like he thought it should, was a bit of a letdown.

He can still smell the vinegar in the air from people walking past enjoying their fish and chips treat as they head home. He doesn’t watch them, doesn’t want to see the happy families walking past, so he keeps looking out to sea, the tide is in the lapping of the waves just a few feet from him is calming.

He feels him sit beside him on the concrete steps that are starting to crumble, and if that isn’t a metaphor for his life he doesn’t know what is, everything always crumbling away in the end no matter how strong it is. He pulls his jacket around him a bit tighter, the wind coming off the sea is cold despite how hot it’s been all day. He doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know where to start, can’t even turn his head to look at Aaron.

“Why here?”

“Sorry?”

“Why did you come here?”

“As good a place as any. Why did you do it Aaron? I mean, we were happy, weren’t we? Did I miss something, did something change? Or was it going on so long that there was nothing to notice. Me, I could understand, I screw up everything I touch, but you…I never thought you’d do this.”

“Robert, don’t…”

“Just explain it to me.” He turns to look at him, finally. The shadows under his eyes are almost as bad as his own and his bottom lip is pulled between his teeth. Normally he’d reach out, gently pull it free but this isn’t normal. “Explain to me, after everything, how you could do this.”

“I can’t.”

“No, that’s not…that’s not good enough Aaron! All the times you’ve doubted me, and you do this? Was he that good?” He’s shouting, has no idea if there are people behind them watching this mess play out in front of them like some weird grown up Punch and Judy show, he doesn’t care.

“What? No! I don’t know, alright. It just happened. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t good enough, not now. I’ve done a lot of thinking while I’ve been here, going over it all in my mind. Had I done something, had I not been there for you. I mean it must be me, right? I must have done something to cause this.”

“No!” Aaron gets up, stands right in front of him feet sinking into the sand. “None of it is your fault. You didn’t do anything. I don’t have a reason, I don’t know why I did it. I’ve been thinking too, trying to figure out why I didn’t turn him down, why I let him flirt with me, let him…and the only answer I have is, I don’t know.” Robert wants to throw up, wants to every time he thinks about it. He can’t wipe the images from his mind, no matter how hard he tries, how much alcohol he drinks to rid himself of it.

“Would you have told me? If I hadn’t come back, if I hadn’t forgotten that folder, would you have said anything?” Aaron doesn’t answer, he just fidgets. “That’s what I thought. Sorry I ruined your fun.”

“It was a mistake, I told you. You’ve made plenty of them.”

“Not like this.” He feels empty, he doesn’t know what else to do, what else to say. “Just answer me one more thing. Was it worth it? Was it worth throwing everything away for?”

“No…I haven’t. We can get past this, I’ll do anything, Robert. Just tell me what to do.”

“I wish I could. Do you know what I see every time I close my eyes? You, and him, over and over. So I can’t tell you what to do. I feel empty Aaron, there’s nothing.”

“I love you, Robert, you know that. Please!” He’s crying now and normally Robert would hold him, make it better. Maybe this time there is no making it better.

“I thought I did. I don’t know what you want me to say, Aaron.”

“I want you to say we can get past this, that I can make it better. You called me here for a reason.” He crouches in front of him, takes his hands, clutches on tightly, desperately.

“I thought, maybe if I saw you, if it didn’t hurt so much then I’d know what to do, know how to fix it, but it hurts, Aaron, to know you’d even…” He shakes his head, this isn’t getting them anywhere. “You should go.”

“No! I’m not leaving. We can fix it, I’ll do anything. It won’t happen again, I promise.”

“See that’s the thing Aaron. I never believed it could happen in the first place. Why should I believe you now. I want to, God do I want to.” He does, can’t imagine his life without Aaron in it, can’t imagine him not being there every day, bad habits at all.

“Then let’s try. I know I can’t expect you to trust me, not now, maybe not again but please don’t just give up on us without trying. Let me prove to you that it’s you I want, that I don’t want anyone else.” He leans closer, presses his forehead to Robert’s, breath hitching through his tears. “Please Robert, don’t give up on us.”

[theexploringegg]

Day 62: Cebu to Coron.

The day started with the sound of our 7.15am alarm. As our bags were already packed, we quickly got ready and headed downstairs where I made us some Vietnamese coffee (with less condensed milk) to get us going. Tita was all set for a day in the clinic (she has her own dental practice) and her patients were missing her as she had been away for a few days on break with us. The little Honda Jazz was loaded up, and we joined the crazy Cebu morning traffic to head for some local breakfast before we hit the airport. I had received a tip from a loved one to try "all the silogs" when I got to the Philippines and had no idea what this meant until we got to Sinigag Station, our breakfast stop. For those that aren't aware, "silog" is a typical breakfast dish of fried rice and egg, which normally comes with meat such as cured pork or sausage, but can also come with fish. The little cafe we went to (Sinangag Station) was by the side of the busy road, congested with traffic; the food cheap but tasty. I ordered a hot calamansi juice (a small lime, very bitter but cleansing) along with my bangsilog (boneless milkfish). It came with a little side of pickled papaya, and chopped onions and chilli to which I added soy sauce and vinegar. This helped cut through the oily-ness of the dish, and altogether made it super tasty. Definitely a good meal to start the weekend. Cebu airport is not big (they are currently building a new site adjacent to the current one) so we were able to make it from entrance to gate are in only about 15 minutes with no bags to check in. At our gate, we met a lovely American/Filipino couple called Bruce and Grace who started talking to us after hearing my accent and our conversation. They lived in Virginia but had come to Cebu to visit Grace's mum for her 90th birthday (from the photos, we looked incredible- good genes!) By the end of 10 minutes, I had given them my home address and an invite to visit Northern Ireland. Our Cebu Pacific airplane was tiny and only about 1/3 full. I was surprised when the staff announced we were going to play a game of "guess the song"- the staff read song lyrics and in order to win a prize, you had to sing it back to them (I guess Filipinos love to sing). I heard the lyrics of "Shape of You" being read and couldn't control by hand shooting up... before I knew it, the hostess was by my side and I had to sing it back to her, receiving a pencil case which I will treasure forever. Hah. Mel got the next one (Yellow, Coldplay) and so we were both pleased with ourselves. The views from the plane were stunning- there were green islands dotted everywhere, white sandy strips of beach visible against the clear, vibrant blue seas. I knew we were in for a treat. Nearing landing time, the views of Palawan island were of green, tree-covered hills all around us. We were descending lower and lower but still, I could not see an airport or even a landing strip. Now only feet from the ground, we swayed in the wind and smashed down with a massive BUMP before lifting up and crashing down again. The air hostess smiled and watched us as we laughed and squeezed hands across the isle. Disembarking the aircraft, my first thoughts were...HEAT...SUN...and WHERE'S THE AIRPORT? It seemed we had landed in the middle of jungle. There was one airstrip and another one or two planes alongside ours. And there is was, Francisco B. Reyes airport- a small humble building with the sign proudly displayed at the top. We walked through the arrivals door, out the other side where we met our driver holding a name card and straight into the van within about 5 minutes. Easy. The roads to the town were bumpy, but with a lot of improvement since Melissa had last been here 5 years before (no cement then...). In less than an hour, we reached the prettiest accommodation I have ever seen- a very cute little guesthouse with a balcony lining all the upper rooms that had tables outside for the inhabitants to eat breakfast in the morning sun. The front reception area of The Bay Area had a little sofa and colourful cushions, plants and sweet inspo signs, and our host put a coloured beaded necklace on us both as a welcome. As we were walked to our room along the well-kept garden towards the back, the view of the sea, palms and boats came into view. Each room had a sign outside such as "I hike", "I explore", "I chill" and then came ours..."I party". So us. As we slid back the glass door, inside was such a sweet, clean and cosy room that even had signs on the wall saying "Good Friends" and "Good Food"- this was perfect for us! It was about 2pm when we slumped on the bed but our first priority was lunch. Breakfast had been a while ago. We followed a suggestion from our receptionist and stopped at Sinugba Sa Balay which was an informal style place set inside a bamboo house with a mud floor. Their speciality was grilled seafood so we had a big grilled fish, eggplant salad (ensalada talong), rice and fruit slushees. Filled up, we went back to the room to chill for a bit, then out in search of halo halo (a Filipino iced dessert), before meeting our guide Ivy who was going to take us to Mount Tapyas. It was only a stone-throw away, and has a stepped pathway all the way to the top where a huge Hollywood-style "Coron" sign is placed alongside a white cross. Mel stayed to rest her ankle while Ivy and I walked all the way to the top, pausing, breathless, to admire the view of the setting sun over the town. After walking around to the other side to get a glimpse of the "giant mountain"- it looked like a big sleeping giant and rolling hills- we came back to get Mel before climbing on board the common transport here: the tricycle. Powered by motorbike with a sidecar attached, sometimes pimped out with lights and club music, they are a cheap way to get around. Our evening destination was Maquinit saltwater hot springs: one of the few saltwater springs in the world. We were prepared with a picnic of barbecued pork belly sticks, pancit, bread and potato chips which Ivy had cleverly picked up along the way. Getting a little table with a view of the springs, the dusk turned to night and we could see lots of bodies bobbing in the steaming water as we feasted on our snacks, beer and water; a stray cat scrounging for any bits we might drop. I went for a dip first- the water was a very pleasant 38-41 degrees C. The level was up to my chest but I found it more comfortable to sit on the ledge and people watch, as it was so hot to stay right under. The other two bathed after me, and our kind motor driver waited on us the whole time, until we were ready to leave 1.5 hours later. The way back was very dark- the bumpy road was lit with a few sparse street lamps and I got stared and waved at a lot. Mel told me after that she didn't like walking with me alone because of this. The village we passed through was very poor- a contrast to the life we had been living in our boutique guesthouse in the town centre. Arriving back home, we felt sleepy after the hot bath and so, anticipating our island-hopping tour the next day, prepped with some beauty sleep (hah). I was enjoying taking everyday as it comes, not really knowing what to expect: a fail-safe plan to avoid disappointment and be surprised.

[healthbolt-blog]

New Post has been published on Health bolt

New Post has been published on http://www.healthbolt.net/cooking/healthy-no-cook-desserts/

Healthy No Cook Desserts

Contents

Ultimate kebab side dish

Jane chatted hap

Healthy lifestyle movement

Chicken breast recipes boneless

Health drive open

Pervasive healthy eating myths

The holidays tend to set us back when it comes to healthy eating. We indulge in all our favorite desserts like homemade … a…

Healthy Cooking Ideas With Chicken This chicken version is just as good. It’s a little lighter than the original, but still super flavorful and extremely comfor… Cooking with hot air sure … but not necessarily healthy. You *can* make healthy nosh in the air fryer, however; the trick i… Keep clicking through for 25 easy meal ideas that’ll take any fuss out of cooking … A healthy dinner idea; perfect for any … Baking, sauteing and grilling are among the three healthiest ways to cook chicken breasts … though it may be difficult to restrain yourself with these three healthy chicken ideas. Balsamic vinegar i… 61 Healthy Chicken Recipes That Taste Amazing. This is the kind of healthy eating we can get down with. By Sienna Fantozzi. … Easy Ideas for Cooking Chicken in a Crockpot; Healthy Ways To Cook Cauliflower Your hack for prepping a restaurant-worthy spread without leaving the office early (or caving and ordering less-than-healthy … Cauliflower rice stands in for arborio in this recipe that’s not only lower in carbs than traditional risotto, it’s also way faster and easier to make! In just 20 minutes you’ll have a flavorful and healthy vegetable side to go with dinner. How To Cook Asparagus Healthy Pheasant can be challenging to cook, with a tendency to dry out and cook fast. Preparing the pheasant for this recipe by simmering the meat in … and debone the meat and cut it into cubes. 2. Wash as… The next day, when you’re ready to meal prep, start with the chickpea recipe below … cauliflower, asparagus, brussels sprou… The 67 Most Delish Things To Do With Asparagus. It’s official: We’re straight-up stalking asparagus. Once you see these easy recipes, you’ll know why. Healthy Ways To Cook Broccoli And Cauliflower 35 best cauliflower recipes. Easy ways to cook cauliflower; cauliflower cheese, cauliflower steak recipes, roasted cauliflower, cauliflower curry, cauliflower pizza … roast it or blast it in a microwave for a quick and healthy alternative to carbohydrates. … Chargrilled broccoli and cauliflower with harissa. ultimate kebab side dish, just … (WTNH) – It’s the new year and News 8 and healthy lifestyle expert caryn Sullivan are teaming up to help you make simple chan… As we slowly ease ourselves into healthy … to make this seemingly simple meal at home, and it’s never quite the same. The b… How To Cook Healthy Eggs Breakfast In some boutique fitness circles, choosing to take a "double," aka two back-to-back workout classes in one day, is something to aspire to. It sounds Healthy Way To Cook Yams Kettle Cooked Chips Healthy healthy people infected with Salmonella experience fever … Jalapeño Flavored Lay’s Kettle Cooked potato chips Jalapeño Flavored Miss Vickie’s Kettle Cooked potato chips All of the following multipac… 25 Healthy Chips to Snack on Guilt-Free. … If you like the extra crunch of kettle-cooked chips, these are a smart pick. They’re organic and only have 1g of saturated fat per serving. healthy cooked breakfast ideas cooking healthy chicken breast cooking Style Jane Fonda Cooking For Healthy Living Fonda … as living tissue. And sitting on the console was, wonder of wonders, a mobile phone! It was black and boxy and as big and solid looking as a construction worker’s lunch box. jane chatted hap… Product Description. Moving from the gym to the kitchen, Fonda presents a low-fat, high-nutrition collection of recipes developed by Robin Vitetta. Cooking for Healthy Living From Publishers Weekly Moving from the gym to the kitchen, Fonda presents a low-fat, high-nutrition collection of recipes developed by Robin Vitetta. (CNN) — In the 1980s, Jane Fonda was the face of fitness for millions of … But I try to eat less of the very fattening food and more of the really healthy food. Q: What do you think is the secret to … Healthy Cooking Classes Bay Area One of the most rewarding cooking classes that chef and … 6 p.m. at the UC Cooperative Extension. The class, which started Feb. 19, runs for six weeks. 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Healthy cooking shopping list Cheap and healthy recipes. stress relief. bodyweight workouts. … The Ultimate Healthy Grocery List When You’re Cooking for One. … Grocery Shopping Healthy Living Tips Eat. Is Cooking With Wine Healthy Why am I just now hearing about natural wines? The natural wine craze is an extension of the healthy lifestyle movement, the winemakers said. “The broad public desire to know where their food comes fr… Cooking with wine can enhance flavor and cut down on the amount of fat needed (in some recipes, you can substitute wine for all or part of the specified quantity of oil). However, because you lose between 60 and 95 percent of the alcohol content of wine used in cooking, few – if any – of the direct alcohol-related health benefits remain. The diet focuses on healthy fats, vegetables, fruits … Many of those who follow the Mediterranean Diet will include a glass … Cooking Style BBQ & Grilling … It looks both pretty and impressive, and the orange flavor is more subtle than you’d How To Cook Asparagus Healthy Pheasant can be challenging to cook, with a tendency to dry out and cook fast. Preparing the pheasant for this recipe by simmering the meat in … and debone the meat and cut it into cubes. 2. Wash as… The next day, when you’re ready to meal prep, start with the chickpea recipe below … cauliflower, asparagus, brussels sprou… The 67 Most Delish Things To Do With Asparagus. It’s official: We’re straight-up stalking asparagus. Once you see these easy recipes, you’ll know why. Healthy Ways To Cook Broccoli And Cauliflower 35 best cauliflower recipes. 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It sounds Healthy Way To Cook Yams Kettle Cooked Chips Healthy Healthy people infected with Salmonella experience fever … Jalapeño Flavored Lay’s Kettle Cooked potato chips Jalapeño Flavored Miss Vickie’s Kettle Cooked potato chips All of the following multipac… 25 Healthy Chips to Snack on Guilt-Free. … If you like the extra crunch of kettle-cooked chips, these are a smart pick. They’re organic and only have 1g of saturated fat per serving. healthy cooked breakfast ideas cooking healthy chicken breast Cooking Style BBQ & Grilling Quick & Easy … Healthy chicken breast recipes boneless, skinless, and tasty! These baked, grilled, and even pan-fried recipes are loved by home cooks everywhere. … Chunks of boneless chicken breast simmer with sweet potatoes, garbanzo beans, tomatoes, and North African-inspired spices for this hearty stew. Which Oil Is Most Healthy For Cooking Dec 06, 2018  · Safflower oil also has a high content of Vitamin E, which may consider very healthy. Most experts recommend using peanut oil for high temperature cooking, canola oil or olive oil for medium temperature cooking, and a variety of polyunsaturated oils for baked goods. A Healthy Oil for Cooking Coconut oil was demonized in the past because it is high in saturated fat. But new studies actually suggest that it has several health benefits, and… Other proven benefits of flaxseed oil include lowering cholesterol, boosting digestive health … One of the most attractive … The countertop appliance uses convection heat, super-hot air, and a little bit of oil to give foods a taste and texture that’ … Packed with protein, vitamins, and omega-3 fatty acids, halibut is one of the healthiest fish you can eat … juicy tomatoes … Olive oil Nutrition and Healthy Cooking Oil For Baking Healthy Cooking Classes Bay Area One of the most rewarding cooking classes that chef and … 6 p.m. at the UC Cooperative Extension. The class, which started Feb. 19, runs for six weeks. The class is paid for by Fresh Approach, the B… The gardens also give students an opportunity to learn about agriculture in what UC Berkeley’s Haas Institute calls an area t… COOS COUNTY — When you’re homeless, cooking healthy meals isn’t always … out the kinks in the program before bringing the classes back next year. “We applied for a hospital grant through Bay Area Ho… If you like to cook and you live in the Green Bay area, you might have heard of him. Of course, it doesn’t hurt to have a name like ace champion. champion, who lives in De Pere, is an independent cook… Cooking Class Deals: 50 to 90% off deals in Cooking Classes near you. Get daily deals and local insights near you today! Five-Course Italian Cooking Class for One or Two at Luigi’s Italian Eatery (Up to 69% Off). Six-Hour Barbecue-Grilling and Smoking Class for One or Two at Seattle BBQ and Grilling School (Up to 50% Off). Healthy Cooking Shopping List Cheap and healthy recipes. stress relief. bodyweight workouts. … The Ultimate Healthy Grocery List When You’re Cooking for One. … Grocery Shopping Healthy Living Tips Eat. Is Cooking With Wine Healthy Why am I just now hearing about natural wines? The natural wine craze is an extension of the healthy lifestyle movement, the winemakers said. “The broad public desire to know where their food comes fr… Cooking with wine can enhance flavor and cut down on the amount of fat needed (in some recipes, you can substitute wine for all or part of the specified quantity of oil). However, because you lose between 60 and 95 percent of the alcohol content of wine used in cooking, few – if any – of the direct alcohol-related health benefits remain. The diet focuses on healthy fats, vegetables, fruits … Many of those who follow the Mediterranean Diet will include a glass … Cooking Style BBQ & Grilling … It looks both pretty and impressive, and the orange flavor is more subtle than you’d expect. This is a healthy and elegant meal (not to mention delicious) when served with a leafy salad, brown rice, and asparagus. … Pork tenderloin simmers in onion soup and red wine that’s flavored with garlic and soy sauce … Healthy Cooking Class Singapore SINGAPORE – A health drive open to everyone who works on Orchard Road … are offering free health screenings, exercise sessions, cooking classes and wellness workshops for a year to create a healthie… Healthy Way To Cook Yams Kettle Cooked Chips Healthy healthy people infected with Salmonella experience fever … Jalapeño Flavored Lay’s Kettle Cooked potato chips Jalapeño Flavored Miss Vickie’s Kettle Cooked potato chips All of the following multipac… 25 Healthy Chips to Snack on Guilt-Free. … If you like the extra crunch Healthy Ways To Cook Cauliflower Your hack for prepping a restaurant-worthy spread without leaving the office early (or caving and ordering less-than-healthy … Cauliflower rice stands in for arborio in this recipe that’s not only lower in carbs than traditional risotto, it’s also way faster and easier to make! In just 20 minutes you’ll have a flavorful and healthy vegetable side to go with dinner. How To Cook Asparagus Healthy Pheasant can be challenging to cook, with a tendency to dry out and cook fast. Preparing the pheasant for this recipe by simmering the meat in … and debone the meat and cut it into cubes. 2. Wash as… The next day, when you’re ready to meal prep, start with the chickpea recipe below … cauliflower, asparagus, brussels sprou… The 67 Most Delish Things To Do With Asparagus. It’s official: We’re straight-up stalking asparagus. Once you see these easy recipes, you’ll know why. Healthy Ways To Cook Broccoli And Cauliflower 35 best cauliflower recipes. Easy ways to cook cauliflower; cauliflower cheese, cauliflower steak recipes, roasted cauliflower, cauliflower curry, cauliflower pizza … roast it or blast it in a microwave for a quick and healthy alternative to carbohydrates. … Chargrilled broccoli and cauliflower with harissa. Ultimate kebab side dish, just … (WTNH) – It’s the new year and News 8 and healthy lifestyle expert caryn Sullivan are teaming up to help you make simple chan… As we slowly ease ourselves into healthy … to make this seemingly simple meal at home, and it’s never quite the same. The b… How To Cook Healthy Eggs Breakfast In some boutique fitness circles, choosing to take a "double," aka two back-to-back workout classes in one day, is something to aspire to. It sounds Healthy Way To Cook Yams Kettle Cooked Chips Healthy healthy people infected with Salmonella experience fever … Jalapeño Flavored Lay’s Kettle Cooked potato chips Jalapeño Flavored Miss Vickie’s Kettle Cooked potato chips All of the following multipac… 25 Healthy Chips to Snack on Guilt-Free. … If you like the extra crunch of kettle-cooked chips, these are a smart pick. They’re organic and only have 1g of saturated fat per serving. healthy cooked breakfast ideas cooking healthy chicken breast cooking Style BBQ & Grilling Quick & Easy … Healthy Chicken breast recipes boneless, skinless, and tasty! These baked, grilled, and even pan-fried recipes are loved by home cooks everywhere. … Chunks of boneless chicken breast simmer with sweet potatoes, garbanzo beans, tomatoes, and North African-inspired spices for this hearty stew. Which Oil Is Most Healthy For Cooking Dec 06, 2018  · Safflower oil also has a high content of Vitamin E, which may consider very healthy. Most experts recommend using peanut oil for high temperature cooking, canola oil or olive oil for medium temperature cooking, and a variety of polyunsaturated oils for baked goods. A Healthy Oil for Cooking Coconut oil was demonized in the past because it is high in saturated fat. But new studies actually suggest that it has several health benefits, and… Other proven benefits

Feb 19, 2016  · Step away from the oven. We’ve compiled our favorite no-bake desserts for you to enjoy. With just a little time on the stove top or in the fridge, our no-bake dessert recipes — including frozen treats and layered bars — offer a healthy dessert …

Consumer Reports has no financial relationship with advertisers on this site. One of the most pervasive healthy eating myths is that having dessert is off limits … about an inch apart on cookie shee…

Healthy No-Bake Peanut Butter Cheesecake Bars The best part of these creamy, sweet-and-salty bars is the crust: Melted chocolate and just a little bit of butter make it crunchy without baking.

Jun 17, 2018  · Baking can feel like such a chore. That’s where no-bake desserts come in; they easily satisfy a sweet tooth, no oven required. And because there’s no baking …

If you asked 25-year-old me to predict what my 40s would look like, I would have used just one word to describe them: fat. Fa…

Usually, it takes no more than … Namely, low carb desserts are what the name says. They are deserts that have little quanti…

Reminiscent of Funfetti birthday cake, this healthy popcorn recipe is a fun twist on a favorite sweet treat. Melted white chocolate and rainbow sprinkles coat microwave popcorn for an easy 10-minute dessert or snack.

[bomberqueen17]

deputychairman

answered your question

“Tonight’s question, over dinner, was brother-in-law wondering what...”

You're right about the UK that sauce might be on the table in a cafe/restaurant, but not at home where it's just salt and pepper.

I mean. Maybe if someone was a huge enthusiast. Maybe. But I don’t think I ever saw the stuff during the year I lived in the UK, except among the caddies of unfamiliar condiments on the tables in pubs.

danceswchopstck [replies probably don’t work because answers are enabled] No condiments live on my table. Supplements and piles of mail live there. ☺

Oh there’s all kinds of crap and detritus that live on my table, I won’t lie.

seramarias Salt and pepper mill, ketchup (my husband), balsamic vinegar most of the summer.

oh balsamic vinegar’s a good one!

awisekraken In our apartment it would usually be an empty teapot from that morning. :) Husband hates Tabasco, probably because of MREs, and much prefers Cholula now. It's a little difficult to find outside of SoCal, but possible.

You can get Cholula in NY State! I first encountered it when I was at university in Rochester, on the tables in bars, actually! but now it’s in grocery stores, but just the big ones. I think it’s okay but not really different from tabasco? A little lighter maybe, less sour.

On the farm there often is a thermos of coffee sitting on the table all day. They don’t have a coffee pot! My sister is the type of person who hand-grinds the beans in a little hand-grinder, and makes the coffee in a French press and then pours it into a thermos to stay hot all day, which is quaint but labor-intensive. It was a big innovation for her to start buying pre-ground coffee for the slaughter day crews instead of hand-grinding half a pound of coffee on the night before chicken processing days. (There’s an industrial two-pot Bunn-O-Matic out in the barn that I salvaged from work, because I’m not making fifteen fucking French Press pots of coffee at six in the morning while they’re loading chickens into crates.)

tolrais reblogged your post and added:

At home, ketchup and bbq sauce, but if mayonnaise is an option I will put that on my chips especially garlic mayo. My dad uses salad cream or French mustard vinaigrette stuff cause he’s a weirdo. Brown sauce only tends to be used in bacon/sausage butties but I know a guy who puts it on chips and got Judged for it by half the table. Salt and pepper are usually fairly standard and then vinegar for fish and chips. Although my boyfriend put vinegar and salt on chicken nuggets the other day and I was low key disgusted. (By chips I mean fries of course) 

(this was tagged northern England formerly Yorkshire! that is my favorite accent by the way! at my ex-girlfriend’s wedding I was sat across from a lovely woman whose father was from Yorkshire and she did great impressions of him the whole evening. His advice for her before her first job interview was, for some reason, “Doon’t meention gays!”, and in her impersonation the word “gays” was about fifteen seconds long and the vowel was kind of a weird narrow e sound, it was hilarious. I guess he was worried that her liberal viewpoints would not get her hired.)

And I had someone privately message me, but wanting to leave it anonymous, that their preferred condiment was something Bulgarian that’s called Sharena Sol (Colorful Salt) that sounds fucking amazing. (Guess the Bulgarian community online is small, so it’d be pretty personally-identifiable to discuss it with name attached. I am astonished and enchanted by the concept of getting doxxed by cuisine.) But it sounds like the stuff’s not widely available, which is a shame because it sound fucking awesome. 

I dunno, I just wanted a conversation about something fascinating, and this has done the trick. Thanks for playing, y’all, and I’d love to hear more if anyone else wants to chime in with what condiments live on their table in their part of the world. 

[wheremyscalesslither]

How to Create an Appropriate Ball Python Tank

“Aquariums are for fish!” is a common sentiment within ball python keeping and breeding. It is a widely held idea that keeping ball pythons in tanks is detrimental to their health. While tanks may be trickier to manage for an animal that requires fairly specific husbandry, it is not impossible to keep them healthy in a tank. Tanks can be wonderful displays for keepers with one to few ball pythons. This guide will give you some tips on how to create and maintain a healthy tank environment for your ball python.

To begin, I would like to state-I do not recommend tank displays if you are a first time reptile owner. Ball pythons can be finicky and stop eating if they do not have consistent correct husbandry, and tanks are usually not the best option for that. Tubs and PVC enclosures can provide you with a stable environment to start, until you have the hang of consistently monitoring and adjusting your husbandry.

*Remember: ball pythons thrive best with a hotspot of 89-92 degrees (F), warm ambient of about 85, and a cool side of 78-80. Temps should never drop below 75. Humidity should be a minimum of 55%, although 60% is ideal. To learn the difference between hot spot and ambient temperatures, please look here.

First, begin by choosing your tank size. Contrary to popular belief, it is not a large enclosure that causes stress to the ball python, but instead inappropriately furnished enclosures. Ball pythons are shy, nocturnal, ambush predators. They prefer spaces that are well hidden from view. The majority of people repeating that small enclosure sizes are necessary are those that either didn’t provide an adequate enclosure or are parroting what they have heard from the large scale breeders. I personally recommend an enclosure that is large enough for the snake to stretch out along one side. A larger enclosure will also allow for more opportunities to provide enrichment. Vertical space is also a plus for this species, despite what you may have heard. There is some evidence that male ball pythons have a semi-arboreal lifestyle, however, even terrestrial animals will be able to navigate over vertical spaces around 2 feet or so. The size of most tanks will not reach this height anyway.

Here is a helpful link to aquarium dimension sizes: http://www.alysta.com/books/fishtank.htm Hatchlings do well in a 20 gallon, but grow quickly. If you have a ball python under a year old, I instead suggest raising it in a tub. Then, you would be able to increase sizes as needed as the snake grows and not have to shell out serious money. The other reason I would not place a hatchling in a large tank is to allow the snake easy to find temperatures, instead of wandering. In the case of younger ball pythons, a slightly smaller enclosure would benefit them and keep them consistently eating. Small adult ball pythons could thrive in a 40 gallon breeder tank, but a 40 long would be better. A 40 long would be fine for larger adult ball pythons, but they may require more space.

When your tank is home, be sure to sanitize it, especially if you bought it from a place that sells snakes or if it was a craigslist pickup. F10 is a veterinary grade cleaner which is probably the best option for cleaning a newly purchased tank. Chlorhexidine is another useful cleaner and is also cheap and lasts a very long time. One bottle, after dilution, easily lasts a year. If you’re in a hurry, then a bleach dilution will do. If the tank has hard water stains, white vinegar will help remove it (along with a razor blade, if severe)

Next provide a cover for 3 of 4 glass panels. For extra insulation, which will be extremely useful and highly recommended, you can use Styrofoam or foam poster board. Construction paper, wrapping paper, newspaper, decorative paper, are all other options. There are also terrarium backgrounds available for purchase (and I think it usually only covers the back panel).

Most terrariums will come with a mesh lid that latches into place. For most keepers, the open top will present the challenge of maintaining temperatures and humidity. If you live in a place where your humidity is consistently over 60%, you may not need this step. However, if you live in a drier location or are using supplemental heating, it will be in your animal’s best interest to cover ¾ of the opening to prevent heat and humidity from escaping. Cling wrap, foil, and damp towels are common ways to do this, although more solid covers like plexiglass are better for this purpose. If you don’t need a ceramic heat emitter (aka the good kind of heat “lamp”), then placing the cover over the middle, with two openings on the left and right will help ventilate the cage: 

If you have a ceramic heat emitter, then you can place it off center to allow the CHE to fit on the screen. Please remember to never use tape on the inside of an enclosure. Reptile skin is fragile, and getting stuck to the tape may tear it.

Picking substrate is the next step. Humidity holding substrate that readily absorbs liquid should be used. Avoid dry wood shavings or types that will allow the moisture to sit on top, instead of infiltrate. I use a 1:1 ratio of organic soil and coco chips. ReptiBARK, cypress mulch, newspaper, and cedar are not recommended for various reasons.

I usually place a paper towel over the glass on the hot spot and make a little bowl for the snake with the main substrate. I carefully monitor the surface temperature to ensure the spot doesn’t get too hot.

Humidity holding substrate should be moist, but not wet. If you squeeze it, only a few drops should come out, not a stream of water.

Now, add your hides and water bowl. Tank need a minimum of two hides- one on the cool end, and one on the hotspot. Hides help the animal to feel secure, and because glass is so exposing, it’s best to provide secure hides that enclose them on all sides. The half logs that are popular in pet shops are great additional hides, but should not be used as the primary hides because they are very open on two sides.

My water bowl doubles as a hide.

Then, add your climbing features. Branches, dowels, climbing rods, platforms, and such will all work. In addition to providing enrichment, they will also help you to create some visual barriers in the next step too.

Finally, to finish crowding the tank, you will want to create visual, permeable barriers. These barriers take up a lot of space, but allow the snake to move throughout the habitat while hidden. Fake vines and plants, leaf litter, and tunnels are examples of such.

Now it is ready for you and your snake to enjoy!

[suzie81blog]

On Thursday night I was invited to a special ‘Meet Marco’ event at the Marco Pierre White Steakhouse and Grill on Level 25 of The Cube in the Mailbox, Birmingham.

I have been to the restaurant a number of times. This, however, was slightly different: Marco himself would be there, meeting guests and signing copies of his book. I was asked if I would like the opportunity not only to try new dishes from the menu, but to sit and talk with the great chef himself.

Along with Lauren Foster from What’s On Birmingham (check out the interview in their June edition) and a small media crew filming us, what was supposed to be a short interview became an informative and, quite frankly, rather hilarious chat that lasted well over half-an-hour. He’s an incredibly charismatic and charming character and while my nerves were obvious, it was easy to relax into conversation and enjoy his company.

Marco explained his inspiration for the new items on the menu, with an emphasis on seasonal ingredients and dishes in rotation while being conscious of vegetarians and vegan options. He revealed his own experiences with veganism, adopting a pure vegan diet and stopping all carbs, drinking and smoking for nine months which resulted in a massive five-stone weight loss. The philosophy? Understanding and talking about vegetarian and vegan food can only be done if you’ve practised it yourself. He told us about his visit to Sri Lanka and how the spices and seasonings in Asian and indeed, Italian foods were perfectly suited to vegan and vegetarian lifestyles and the importance of a balanced diet.

I asked him about the foods that he really dislikes.

The only thing that I’ve really struggled to eat in my life is chicken’s feet… it doesn’t do it for me. I’m really into strange food, don’t get me wrong. I like eating, eating is one of my great passions in life… I go to this restaurant in Singapore… (he explains about the chef bringing a dish out to him and the fact they are fascinated that he likes tendons) and I said, “What is it?”. “It’s a surprise.”

Cue giggles from myself and a long pause while we wait in anticipation for the answer.

Cow throat. Not for me… Can you imagine eating windpipe? I said, it’s not for me, but please apologise to the chef.

Interviewing Marco

As an honorary Brummie and former teacher, I was particularly interested in the advice he would offer a working-class Brummie who wants to become a respected chef.

Firstly, the advice I would give is that when you go for a job, keep your fingers crossed and hope that you get it, and by not asking by how many hours and how much you’re going to get paid, your chances of getting the job have increased enormously… you’ll soon find out how you’re being paid, you’ll soon find out how many hours you’re going to work, and what I’ve learnt in my life is that knowledge is your passport to freedom. It really is, and my father gave me that advice as a young man. He also told me never to call in sick. You turn up for work if you’re ill, and the chef will see that you’re not well… So, I think the advice I would give, is conduct your interviews correctly, and that’s not just for chefs, that’s for everything. And what’s really important is always be punctual…

And I used to go for interviews and I would sit there with my fingers crossed and pray I get the job. I remember I went for an interview with Pierre Koffman who – we’re great friends, Pierre and I, and we have a business together… and he said “I have no position in my kitchen” and it was the first time I’d ever been turned down, and the only time. So I said (even though I could afford it) “I’ll work for nothing.” I worked for three weeks for zero money, I was really on the breadline… he called me in (Marco then explained that Koffman then employed him). Prove yourself…

I wanted to know his thoughts on the incredible food scene in Birmingham.

Well, it’s all of those cultures isn’t it? It’s a beautiful jigsaw, it’s a melting pot, and also because it’s the second city it’s brought all these businesses in which brings money, which allows people to pay… so Birmingham is one of those great gastronomic cities of Britain in my opinion.

Above all, my burning question was one that would hopefully solve the continuing argument that has raged between my friends and I for quite some time…

The big scone debate: cream or jam first? (Incidentally, he pronounced it to rhyme with ‘gone.’)

Well, you’ve got to look at logic. Logic must always dictate… the reality is that it looks prettier with the cream on first and then the jam, it looks way prettier, but you try spreading jam on cream… it’s not about etiquette for me. At the end of the day I take a scone, put my jam on and then put my cream on top.

And then, there was the big northern divide: Lancashire versus Yorkshire. As a proud Boltonian, and with Marco hailing from Leeds, the northern banter began as soon as I told him where I was from. We discussed Peter Kay (he’s got a kind face) and the fact that I haven’t been able to order garlic bread in public since Peter Kay became famous, Bolton Wanderers and ‘Big Sam’ and my Yorkshireman husband. I jokingly informing him that he was from the wrong side of the Pennines, he explained that Lancastrians are referred to as ‘long necks’ (I’d never heard of it, but it was because we’re always stretching our necks over the hills to find out what’s going on – we’re nosy, apparently) and that he always tells his sons to buy white roses instead of red because of the House of York. I took advantage of this to remind him that – *cough* – we won, referring to the War of the Roses. He laughed and joked with us throughout, seemingly enjoying the chat, and openly admitted that he likes interviewing the interviewers.

My hair was in his face…

The book signing area

The whole experience went by so quickly – thirty minutes felt like more like five. Marco signed a copy of his book for us, inscribing ours as ‘Suzie and the Yorkshire Lad,’ and in one for our gastronomic friend (we were graciously given a book each), in which he signed it as being from ‘The Bird from Bolton.’ We took selfies and I added to my awkwardness by positioning myself so that I accidentally covered half of his face with my hair. I said goodbye, thanked him and shook his hand, and he told us to come and say goodbye to him after we had eaten.

We were then shown to our table, which was seated right next to the window with a a panoramic view of the city.

The menu for the evening focused solely on new dishes, with four options to choose from for each course.

The Starter options were:

Calamari

Classic French Onion Soup À La Normandie with croutons, gruyère cheese and cider.

Poached Pear, Alex James Cheese Salad with candied walnuts and merlot vinegar (Vegetarian)

Wheeler’s Crispy Calamari with tartare sauce and fresh lemon.

Mr White’s Scotch Egg with Colonel Mustard’s Sauce.

The Bloke and I both ordered the Calamari – we both love seafood but often avoid ordering squid at restaurants as it is often a dish that can easily be overcooked and rubbery. This, however, was beautiful. Fried in a thin coating of very light and crispy batter, the calamari were piping hot and perfectly tender, and the punchy tartare sauce complimented them perfectly. I also loved the fact that the accompanying lemon was wrapped in a thin muslin to allow the juice to be squeezed without the pips falling onto the plate. It was a small touch, but the attention to detail made me smile.

For the Main courses our options were:

8oz Rib Eye Steak

Honey Roast Bacon Chop with boxtree red cabbage, pommes fondant, Marco Polo glaze and honey roasting juices.

Creamy Polenta with Italian hard cheese, leaf spinach, Fricasée of woodland mushrooms and extra virgin olive oil. (Vegetarian)

8oz Rib Eye Steak with roasted vine tomatoes, triple cooked chips and béarnaise sauce.

Wheeler’s Salmon Fishcake with buttered leaf spinach, soft boiled hens egg and tartare sauce.

I ordered the steak – medium – and The Bloke had the fishcake. I often avoid ordering steak when dining out, finding the quantity of red meat a little too much for one sitting, but it seemed ridiculous not to try the dish that the restaurant is famous for. It was perfectly cooked – seared, full of flavour, juicy and beautifully pink and served with a classic Béarnaise sauce. The Bloke equally enjoyed his fish cakes – made from freshly cooked salmon and coated in a fine breadcrumb. The only slight disappointment was that I would have preferred the chips to be slightly warmer, but our main courses overall personified Marco’s notion that simplicity in cooking can produce exquisite results.

By the time dessert arrived we had experienced a beautiful sunset and the ambience of the restaurant had been enhanced by blue/purple mood lighting, in lovely contrast with the view of the lights from the buildings in the city outside.

For Dessert the options were:

70% Bitter Chocolate Mousse with hazelnut nougatine.

Mr White’s Rice Pudding with apricots and vanilla.

The Boxtree Mess.

Baked New York Cheesecake with blueberry compote.

(It’s worth noting that all of the dessert dishes were suitable for vegetarians).

I opted for the chocolate mousse (of course) and The Bloke ordered the cheesecake. I’ve commented during previous visits on the fact that the mousse was the best I have ever eaten and this was no exception. Rich and incredibly smooth, the mousse was complimented by the texture of the crunchy hazelnut nougatine and the sweet whipped cream piped on top, and was just the right amount to finish the meal before it became sickly or too filling. Click on the images for the full size…

The Chocolate Mousse

New York Cheesecake

What an evening! The Bloke seemed to enjoy himself as much as I did. As we were leaving, Marco was still signing books and I didn’t want to disturb him or interrupt another guest’s experience so I didn’t say another goodbye. However, this ‘Bird from Bolton’ thinks the Lad from Leeds well deserves his reputation as a fabulous chef – and also proved to be a lovely person…

Disclaimer: I was invited to meet Marco Pierre White and review the new menu items free-of-charge, but was given no instructions or questions to ask and was under no obligation to provide a positive review. The interview was filmed with our permission.

An Interview with Marco Pierre White On Thursday night I was invited to a special ‘Meet Marco’ event at the Marco Pierre White Steakhouse and Grill on Level 25 of The Cube in the Mailbox, Birmingham.