#(i used to make them for the cv games but girl i was real bad back then smh)

[undefeatablesin]

Me when other people enjoy my hunter gals in any capacity

[newswcanonprompts]

Anakin is sent to negotiate with Gardulla the Hutt bc of the success of the Jabba mission (no one in the Council knows Gardulla used to own him)

editor’s note: there is actually a fic that came from this, by the lovely @primeemeraldheiress! here is the link

this one is SUPER angsty, sorry in advance, i missed the original conversation about this prompt and when i got back online everyone was yelling about it, when i read what they did i was in *shock*. like ow. anyways have fun

After being so helpful in rescuing Jabba the Hutt's son, Anakin, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan end up being sent on a mission to help Gardulla the Hutt because Anakin hasn't told anyone about his history with her

Possible reactions from Gardulla:

"Skywalker? I owned a human like that, her brat always caused trouble. Good riddance!"

What if she decides that since he's back in her territory that means he belongs to her again

.....gardulla hears him try to call obi-wan master and tries to buy anakin from him (Gardulla asking if obi-wan is anakin's master and anakin being in such a messed up mental space that he says yes, trusting that Obi-wan won’t let her buy him)

Obi-Wan wondering why Anakin is being so specifically arsey with this Hutt. "Force you're worse with her than you were with Jabba."

"Oh yeah, she bought me and my mother. I think I have a reason to dislike her."

The council meeting afterwards where obi-wan rails on the council...

Obi-Wan suddenly getting a horrible feeling whenever Anakin calls him master because he's known the contexts were different but now it is real and in his face

Like it's a different thing for Obi-Wan to know his padawan used to be a slave compared to looking his padawan's former master in the eye and seeing her current slaves.

Anakin manages to control himself in the throne room but the whole way there and back he can't help worrying that one of the really old lash scars that curls around his shoulder will be noticed, that his identity as a former slave will be exposed

anakin not being able to call obi-wan master on tatooine like. point blank. he starts addressing him as master and just. flinches.

anakin usually wears his heart on his sleeves right?? always shows his emotions, feelings, all that. Well, the closer they get to gardulla's palace the blanker his face gets

Ahsoka calls Anakin master and Anakin just grits out a "Please don't call me that, not here."

Obi-Wan suddenly realising why Anakin comes across as arrogant as times. He's spent his entire life trying to up his value because there's safety in value.

Anakin telling them not to use the name "Skywalker" while they're in the palace

Anakin's accent shifts so entirely to the point where it almost sounds like Obi-Wan's because he's so determined to not slip into old roles

Anakin having to be physically held back from getting into a physical fight. Not even using his lightsaber, he just wants to fight

Or, alternatively, all the fight just going out of Anakin because he knows, here, it'll just make everything worse. So he's almost.... compliant and it freaks everyone out

Ex. from @youngcreativenerdgoddess: Obi-Wan is terrified. His former padawan is the most resigned he’s ever been. He looks so....defeated. A look one would never expect on the vaunted “Hero with no fear”. All the fight was gone from him, and that scared him more than anything else in this force-damned war had.

Obi-Wan actually being the one about to lose his temper and then Anakin just puts a hand on his shoulder and tells him there's no point.

Consider: instead of anakin being angry he was sent on the mission, being resigned because of course he was, he knew Gardulla bes

Anakin comes across as an almost perfect Jedi for once in his life and in the context it is horrifying

Anakin’s report to the council is so matter of fact because he thought they knowingly sent him on the mission because of his past experience with Gardulla

Obi-Wan finds Anakin writing what he thinks is a CV then he sees the numbers next to it and it is his estimated value--"for the gardulla mission, if she finds out who I am she'll try to rebuy me"

After the mission, from @jasontoddiefor: "Failed you, we have," Yoda said, his voice full of grief, and Obi-Wan watched in horror as Anakin only titled his head, for once looking his age and not the years the war has aged him. 

"What do you mean?" Anakin asked, not understanding.

Examples of bits and pieces from this prompt:

Ex. from jasontodiefor: Anakin in the corner of her palace having a breakdown because he remembers memories he had thought gone, his mother's shouting and the tearful begging and the pain, pain, pain and he hadn't meant to break the vase, it had been an accident, please stop it hurts, Mom-

jasontodiefor: "A game of chance." 

"What?" 

Anakin doesn't look up from his hands, doesn't meet Obi-Wan's eyes. He hadn't since they'd arrived here. "I'd still be here like them if not for a game of chance. I'd be worth more than just a few credits too. Force-sensitive, young, good with mechanics, pretty-"

Ex. from Ro: Obi-Wan has never seen Anakin this silent before. There were nights before, when they were both younger, Obi-Wan himself still trying to heal from Qui-Gon's death and Anakin trying to get used to the temple. And Anakin would get quiet, but he was never this stone cold silent. Never this blank. He's so emotional, Obi-Wan's former padawan (his child), so open with his heart on his sleeve. There is none of that here, none of that bright boy. Anakin doesn't fight it, and that is the thing that worries Obi-Wan the most, because when Anakin doesn't like something he fights, he lashes out with teeth and sticks his heels in. But in this, he is resigned. (Anakin doesn't let Ashoka off the ship. She fights and argues but Anakin doesn't move, doesn't joke. He stands firm with it and Obi-Wan watches.

"Master, I—" 

Anakin flinches, "You're staying on the ship, Ahsoka, that's final." She huffs and leaves, and the only thing Obi-Wan can see is how relieved Anakin looks. There is something wrong here, but Anakin has never liked talking about Tatooine, and Obi-Wan has never pushed.) Obi-Wan has never hated a mission more.

Another ex from jasontodiefor: "But-" 

"You're young," Anakin interrupts her sharply. Ahsoka hates it when he cuts her off. It doesn't happen too often, mostly on the battlefield when he's barking orders at everyone. If anything, he lets her speak out of tune more often than he should or other Masters would, but right now his voice doesn't leave any room for agreement. "Young, underage actually, and female, that's the first 10K. Extra five if they don't sell you as inexperienced, and only stupid slavers would do that, but as a virgin."

Ahsoka pales. Anakin's voice is harsh, but there is an almost easy flow to his words, as if he had recited them in his head over and over again. "Force sensitive, that's next. Another 8K regularly, but you're a Jedi, so that's 20K. A Padawan, mind you, but you're a known face next to mine and Obi-Wan's. Obi-Wan would fetch 40 for his status as a Jedi and councilor alone. And you're a Togruta, you sell better than a human girl. I'd add another 6 for that."

You sell better. Not you would, there's nothing hypothetical about this, Ahsoka realizes. Anakin's narrowing down what would happen to her if somebody just managed to grab her lightsabers, to put a collar around her throat and cut her off from all that she had ever known. "Now, that's just your base value," Anakin continues. "You're also a pretty good mechanic and pilot, though the latter makes your flight risk much higher. Given how dangerous you are, let's say 10K. You're a strong fighter, so you could probably get another 8K in the arena, perhaps a little more depending on what planet you're sold on. Your political value also can't be overlooked. You fight at the front and know much more about the war effort as a whole and that's worth much more, probably another 15." Anakin holds up his fingers like he's counting apples and now how much people would be willing to brand her as theirs. "So we're roughly at 70. That's not bad at all. Not as much as Obi-Wan or I would get, but it's more than enough. You're not coming on this mission. End of discussion."

[moldisgoodforyou]

the pregnancy scare

warning: cursing (always!), mentions of sex, mentions of period/pregnancy

wordcount: 2.5k

it was reckless, and stupid, but after a night out, jj and charlie were both drunk and forgot the condom until he was in her, close to reaching their high. then she paused, tugging his hair to get his attention. “j, baby, we forgot a step.”

“what step?” he asked, confused.

“um...I don’t remember. something’s missing.” charlie shook her head, too focused on her boyfriend and her slightly blurred vision to think. “dunno.” 

after a few more minutes of lazy thrusting and both of them reaching their peak, they realized at the same time. jj pulled out of her, and got up to amble to the restroom like usual. “the condom.” jj mumbled, eyes wide. 

“fuck.” charlie echoed, biting her lip. “no, I’m on the pill, it’ll be fine.”

“you’re sure? we can get you plan b in the morning.” he offered, pulling on his boxers and crawling back into bed with her.

she wrinkled her nose. “no, no, it’s fine. let’s just go to sleep.”

_

unfortunately, her track record with taking the pill on time was on par with jj’s track record of remembering anything after a drunken night out - basically nonexistent. they had completely forgotten about it the next day and woke up around 1pm, limbs tangled around each other. 

jj woke first, nudging her shoulder. “charlie. we gotta get up.” she groaned, burying her face into his chest. “don’t wanna. if I get up, I’ll be hungover.” he laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “and you’re not right now?” she lifted her head and caught his lips in a chaste kiss. “no, because I’m not up.” 

“well I have a half hour to get to my intramural game, and you’re supposed to coach us again. you drew that new route, remember?” he tried persuading her. she groaned and sat up finally, annoyed. “there are twenty guys on the whole team and you’re all useless on the field. it makes no sense.” 

he grinned. “so you won’t get up for me but you’ll get up for my football game?” she nodded, rubbing her eyes with a yawn. “like I said. I’m not dating a shitty athlete.” she squealed as he grabbed her around the waist, pulling her against his chest. “take that back, walker!” he exclaimed, nipping her neck. (they were ten minutes late to the game that day.)

_

the next couple weeks, charlie continued taking her pill in her usual manner - at 8pm one day, 3am the next, two in one day if she forgot the day before. then she passed the placebo week - and realized nothing came. 

her period had been late before, so she ignored it, chalking it up to weird hormones. but...two weeks later, she started to get worried. she confessed to her best friend, grace, what was going on, and grace immediately made her go and buy a pregnancy test. at first they joked about it in the CVS, then charlie’s anxiety set in on the car ride home. 

“grace, what if I’m...” 

grace shook her head, confident. “you’re not. there’s no way.” 

“I can’t handle a child right now. I can barely take care of myself.” charlie confessed. “grace, I had cheerios with grape juice for breakfast because we ran out of milk.” 

grace gave her a look. “look, charlie, first of all, you’re not pregnant. second of all, that’s disgusting. you couldn’t eat cheerios dry?” 

charlie shrugged. “I don’t know! see, I can’t be a parent!” 

grace pulled into their driveway and the two of them went upstairs, straight to their shared bathroom. grace ushered charlie inside, taking a seat outside the door. “let me know when you’re done.” 

a few minutes later, charlie opened the door, the pregnancy test sitting on a carefully folded square of toilet paper on the counter. “it’s gotta be a no, right? like, there’s no way. I’m just going crazy.” 

grace nodded, hopping up to sit on the counter. “you’re fine. you’re totally fine! how much longer?” 

charlie nodded to a timer set on her phone. “three minutes.” 

it was the longest three minutes of her life.

as the timer went off, charlie took a step back. “I can’t look. you do it.” grace paused, reaching for the stick. “you sure?” 

she nodded. “please. tell me the good news.” 

grace hopped off the counter, then hesitated. “um.” 

charlie’s eyes grew wide. “you’re kidding.” grace held it out toward her, shaking her head. “I don’t know. that’s faint, right? like hardly two lines?” charlie took the test, examining it, then felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest. “those are bold, grace. that’s positive.” 

grace winced. “those can be wrong all the time. and you have bad eyesight, I wouldn’t be so sure -” 

“no, that’s definitely fucking positive.” charlie interrupted, staring at the stick. “...what are you gonna do? tell jj?” grace asked, taking it from her to refocus her attention. charlie shook her head, right away. “hell no. I...I’m going to not think about it this week, because I have two tests and a big kinesiology lab and I can’t afford to fuck those up.” 

grace frowned. “okay, we’re scheduling a doctor’s appointment on friday then. after all that.” charlie shook her head. “jj will know something’s up, it’ll have to be saturday. I’ll say I have some kappa thing.” 

“are you sure you shouldn’t tell him? I mean...it’s his dick that got you into this mess.” grace reasoned. charlie rolled her eyes. “one week will be fine. I’m just going to ignore it! it’s fine. I’m fine!” she tried convincing herself, her voice getting higher pitched with stress. grace set her hands on charlie’s shoulders, trying to center her. “hey! it’s fine. secret’s safe with me.” 

_

charlie did exactly that, ignoring the situation all week. she also ignored jj, afraid she would spill at a moment’s notice. jj chalked it up to stress from school, knowing she had a lot to deal with that week. to make matters worse, he was the ideal boyfriend - dropping off food in the library for her, keeping her company as she stayed up to study, walking her home from a late night group project meeting. 

he could sense something was off, the way she didn’t lean into his touch like normal, or how she flinched away when he tried to press a kiss to her temple as she studied. he was a little annoyed, and wanted her attention, but stayed sweet anyway. 

friday night, he walked her home, hand in hand. when she gave him a goodnight kiss at the door, not inviting him in, he was a little hurt. “I thought you wanted to watch that new movie tonight, after all your work was done this week?” he questioned, catching her hand to try and pull her in again. charlie shook her head, pulling away and reaching for the door. “not tonight, I want to get ahead on a paper. night, jj.” he frowned. “love you. goodnight, walker.” she nodded, going inside without another word. 

he got about five minutes home on his walk before he realized she had his keys stuffed in her backpack from earlier, after he had complained about not having pockets. he turned on his heel and walked back, not realizing that charlie was having an existential crisis in the living room over a bowl of ice cream with grace. 

he punched in the code to the keypad, then walked in - at just the wrong moment. 

“and you’re 100% sure two lines is positive?” grace questioned, holding the stick in her hand. 

“what’s positive? do you have a fever or something?” jj asked as he strolled into the living room, mistaking the pregnancy test for a thermometer. 

the two girls froze, glancing at jj then sharing a glance of simultaneous panic. 

“uh...I’m gonna go.” grace quickly excused herself, wrapping the test back up then setting it on the coffee table. she practically ran upstairs, leaving jj utterly confused. 

he knelt down to press his hand to charlie’s forehead, concerned. “are you sick? is that why you’ve been weird all week?” he reached for the pregnancy test and charlie lunged for it, holding it out of his reach. “no! no, I’m not sick. just, uh, busy with studying.” she lied horribly, a telltale blush rising to her cheeks. 

jj frowned. “what is that?” 

charlie swallowed what felt like a lump in her throat. “um. well. you see, it’s a funny story.” 

jj furrowed his brow and took the test from her, charlie not resisting. he looked it over, confused. “this is a weird thermometer.” 

charlie bit her lip. “well, you see, it’s not a thermometer. um. it’s a pregnancy test. and it’s positive.” she rambled. “so. uh. surprise!” 

jj shook his head. “no, that’s not right.” 

charlie raised her eyebrows. “no, it’s right.” 

he shook his head again. “no, you’ve been acting strange, and kind of rude, frankly - no offense - but you’re always like this on your period. so you have it this week. right?” 

charlie frowned, yanking the test away from him. “my period is late, jj. I’m pregnant. two lines means I’m pregnant.” 

that was the first time she had said those words out loud, and they sunk in for both of them in silence for a few seconds. jj sputtered, tugging at his hair. “you’re pregnant? oh my god.” he started pacing around the living room, not looking at her. “oh my god. that’s fine, that’s totally fine. um. good job, char...great...uterus.” 

charlie reached out, smacking him upside the head. “I’m not having your baby, idiot, I’m 21! god damnit, focus!” 

jj yelped, rubbing his head. “careful with the name calling, jesus!” her words finally made it to his brain. “wait, you’re not having the baby?” 

she shook her head. “god, no, that’s not in my ten year plan. I’m going to the doctor tomorrow anyway, then I’ll get a blood test and see for real.” 

jj visibly relaxed, then frowned. “you were going to go without me? when were you going to tell me?” charlie faltered. “I...I don’t know. I was stressed out, and I didn’t want to think about it this week with all my tests and whatever.” she reached out, locking her fingers with his. “but I want you to come. tomorrow.” 

he nodded, pulling her into a tight hug. “okay. it’ll be okay. we got this.” 

_

the next morning, he drove her to the doctor’s office, squeezing the life out of her hand the entire time. they didn’t talk, charlie just stared out the window and jj kept his eyes on the road like his life depended on it. (she didn’t see that he took the less-trafficked route that was a little safer - just in case.) he was uber-protective as they went into the doctor’s office, foot tapping anxiously once they sat in the waiting room. 

her name was called and he stood, ready to follow her in, but she shook her head. “I think I have to go alone, j.” charlie told him apologetically, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be quick.” jj frowned but nodded, giving her a quick kiss back. “you got this. negative blood.” he joked. she offered a weak smile back, clearly nervous as she followed the nurse back into the offices. 

she came out a bit later, holding a couple pamphlets about pregnancy and looking a little pale. jj wasn’t much better, having thought about kids the entire time she was in with the doctor. “how’d it go?” he greeted, looping an arm around her shoulders as they walked out. she shrugged. “they’ll call me in two to three days. probably three, because the lab isn’t open on sunday.” 

“shit.” jj mumbled, gripping her shoulders tighter. she shook her head. “it’ll be fine! we’ll just...go about life like normal, without a baby, because I’m not pregnant. if I say it out loud enough times it’ll happen.” jj sighed. “I don’t think that manifesting shit actually works, charlie -” 

he was met with a glare. “do you want a baby, jj? at 21? while we’re still in college?” 

he shook his head quickly. “no!” 

she nodded, resolute. “right. say it with me. not pregnant.” she repeated herself a couple more times until he joined in. “not pregnant.” they said in tandem. 

that became their manifesto over the next few days, at every opportunity. when she poured herself a glass of wine the second they got home, then they both reconsidered (just in case). he took the glass from her, taking a long gulp. “not pregnant.” 

“not pregnant.” charlie echoed, pouring herself a glass of grape juice instead. 

_ 

charlie got the call three days later, in class. her hands were shaking as she declined the call, unable to do anything during the lecture. the doctor’s office left a voicemail and the second she got out of class, she sprinted the two miles to the beta house, backpack bouncing with every step. she was out of breath as she jogged up the stairs to jj’s room, pushing past a few pledges without as much as a hello. 

she practically kicked in jj’s door and he glanced up from the bed, confused. “what is wrong with you?” she opened her mouth to speak then shook her head, hands on her knees for a second as she caught her breath. “doctor. doctor called.” 

“not pregnant.” jj immediately responded. charlie dropped her backpack to the floor and fished out her phone, then tossed it to him. “you play it. I can’t.” he shook his head. “no, you do it. it’s your phone. it’s your uterus.” 

“jj, if you talk about my uterus one more time, I will rip your fucking head off.” 

“if this is you not pregnant, you’re going to be hell while you’re pregnant.” 

“jj!” 

he raised his hands in surrender. “okay, okay, fine!” he typed in her passcode and she sat on the bed next to him, then grabbed the phone away to turn on the volume. 

“hi charlotte, this is dr. brown from the clinic. I was just calling to tell you about your results from your blood test. we sent them through the lab on Monday -” 

“good god, woman, just tell us.” jj got out through gritted teeth, tense.

“and I wanted to let you know the results are negative. you’re not pregnant. call if you have -”

jj and charlie sat in complete silence for a moment as they processed, then yelled at the exact same time, not hearing the rest of the message. “not pregnant!” charlie exclaimed, grinning for what felt like the first time since the doctor’s. “not pregnant!” jj yelled back, picking her up by the waist and spinning her in a circle. 

charlie giggled as he set her down. she grabbed jj’s face with both her hands, pulling him in for a deep kiss. he grinned into the kiss, then pulled back to rest his forehead on hers. “I thought you didn’t want a baby, charlie.” she stepped back, glaring. “jj maybank, I will hurt you.” he laughed at the empty threat. 

“can we get margs?” she asked, grabbing his car keys. “it’s 1pm. on a tuesday.” jj countered, raising his eyebrows. charlie held up the keys, jingling them. “a celebration. not pregnant.” he laughed, wrapping his arm around her waist and ushering her out the door. “not pregnant.” 

[ussgallifrey]

Change of Plans

✦ Summary: Bucky really wants to give you a good Valentine's day, but sometimes even the best thought plans don't work out the way you thought they would. ✦ Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader ✦ Warnings: Mentions of menstruating and periods ✦ Word Count: 3.3k

There was something about the girl, who made his heart thud with a continuous home home home, that made Bucky desperately want to get this right. 

At the admission that you'd never celebrated the holiday with a partner before, which was said nonchalantly over a shared pizza, he was absolutely determined to change that. Sure, you'd only been together seven months - give or take a few days - but there was just something about you that made all the little signals in his head go off all at once and his tongue would tie up and he felt hopelessly dumbstruck at the sight of your smile like all the time.

He was crazy about you. That's all.

And because of that, he wanted to do something for the 14th. Nothing overly insane, like dinner in Paris with fireworks at the Eiffel Tower. Though, if you asked, he would have no qualms about absconding a quinjet and flying you there on the spot. But that is definitely not your taste - not even close.

But you deserve flowers and chocolates and a card and probably one of those giant pink teddy bears with the heart that says XO-XO that you were cooing and awwing over in CVS last week. And, God help him, he might even attempt to make dinner. 

Yeah, he's got it bad for you.

And waking up in the same bed this morning, with the knowledge that my place or your place? had finally ended at long last and that this was how he got to wake up almost every day. Well, it just about made his heart thump out of his chest and wouldn't that be a messy cleanup?

So, he's pleased as punch with himself when he can hear the happy little aww coming from the bedroom later that morning. He's obviously been up for hours already, attempting to throw together something edible in the kitchen while you slept away unawares.

You're a sight to see, as he leans against the bedroom door frame. Still under the covers, but sitting up enough to smell the vase of fresh flowers on your nightstand.

"You devil," you chide with a tired smile and a beckoning hand.

Bucky's more than happy to thread his fingers through yours as you pull him down next to you.

"When did you do this?"

He wants to kiss you.

"Had some time," he says instead, cupping a hand to your flushed cheek.

You hum happily, eyes fluttering closed as you lean into the simple touch. Warm lips feather-light against his palm.

"Keep it up, mister. See where it gets you."

Bucky chuckles, leaning his weight over you as his lips ghost against your own.

"Mmm, that's the plan," he murmurs before dropping a kiss to your waiting lips as you tug him ever closer.

Bucky likes to think he's pretty flexible. More of a flying by the seat of his pants type of person than a strict schedule follower. That's why he was going to let the day kind of flow on its own natural path. Breakfast in bed, maybe more in bed. Then a shower obviously, and maybe if things were to happen in there then that would be fine because you could still get the box of chocolates and the teddy bear whenever. And lunch and dinner didn't really have to fall on a set time either, so long as there was plenty of time left over for other activities later that night.

But even those simple plans are easily changed.

"Well, this sucks," you announce, emerging from the bathroom with a towel around you, hair damp against your skin.

He's already changed the sheets in hope of sparing you further embarrassment. 

"I'm sorry."

Dropping down onto the edge of the bed, Bucky folds himself around you to massage your warm shoulders.

"No, I'm sorry," you sigh, leaning back into his welcomed touch.

A kiss to your neck, fingers digging into the muscles of your back, "Hush. It's not like you can control it."

You nod slowly, head down and hands folded in your lap. He doesn't like the change one bit. But he lets the silence stretch at your discretion. Focusing all his skill into alleviating any and all pain he can with his impromptu massage.

After a moment, you admit, "It wasn't supposed to happen for three more days."

He gives a little hum of acknowledgment as he works his thumbs along your spine.

"It's bullshit, Buck."

That gets you a kiss to your cheek.

"I know, baby."

Leaving the comfort of the bed for only a moment to pad across the room, in your comfiest clothes and newly gifted heart-eyed taco-patterned socks, you return with an assorted box of chocolate and a small bag that had been hidden in the closet.

His heart, honest to god, wants to burst. He can't even remember the last time someone got him something for Valentine's.

Bucky holds up the covers for you to slip back in next to him, cuddling up against the large purple teddy bear wedged in between you both.

Handing over the red gift bag with silver ribbon tassels, "You're going to love this."

A raised eyebrow and a wary voice responds, "That sounds ominous."

You just smile, watching him untie the ribbon.

"Oh my god," he groans. "Why?"

All you can do is laugh as he pulls out the small Falcon plushie with a disgusted touch, as though the toy is actually burning him.

"I think this actually constitutes as a form of abuse."

You can't stop laughing, but you grab the bag from him while trying to fight back tears and pull out another stuffed animal. 

It's a sloth.

And then he sees the heart and he just shoots you a strange look and it sends you into another round of hysterics.

Snatching it from your hands as you collapse back against the pillow with howls of laughter, Bucky stares at the large red heart that says Damn Shawty You Fine.

As you continue to scroll through your phone, Bucky holds out one of the chocolates for you. Opening your mouth enough to let him slide the cream-filled piece into your mouth.

You were trading off all the coconut and walnut and pecan clusters his way, and in return, he was giving you all your favorites - despite his personal tastes.

"Mmm," you coo around the candy as you eagerly hold up your phone for him to see. "Look at this one - he's so cute."

Bucky stares at the curly-haired poodle wearing a heart headband.

"His name is Cupid. How cute is that?"

"Super cute," he responds with absolutely no disinterest whatsoever as he tries to catch up on the last few Dodgers' games before they were moved to California. The bastards.

You're not even bothered by it as you scroll through the adoption app and show him a tiny dachshund with a Free Kisses bandana.

"His name is Cupcake, Bucky. Cupcake."

He nods, "I can see that, yeah."

"Can you imagine if we got a dog? Oh my god, I haven't had a dog since I was a kid. We should get a dog."

Bucky shoves another piece of chocolate into your mouth as you laugh weakly around it, the protests dying on your lips.

It's absolutely freezing outside, but he insisted on going out to the store instead of using one of those delivery apps you were so crazy about. It was giving you a chance to sleep anyway, so if he was out for a while, then all the better.

- Midol

- Half-baked ice cream

- Gummy bears (not sour)

- A dog

- Rubbing alcohol & medical tape - ur fault

- We're almost out of dish soap too

- ♡

Is what the text reads.

Pulling his hood up and his coat closer, Bucky walks down the recently snowed-over sidewalk towards the store.

And you know what, it was all going just fine. He found everything you ask for - well, almost everything - and was at the register. And it was fine.

But the universe intervened and a pink poster caught his eye for the local animal shelter's Paws and Claws event. And he got a really stupid idea in his head. Because clearly, some higher power was trying to get him to check off everything on your list. 

Which is how he finds himself inside the FurEver Home animal rescue, almost forty minutes away from the apartment. Like an idiot. A lovesick idiot.

There's an older woman behind the counter that a white cat is walking across and dangling red heart banners wrap around the back wall. Small cat condos are in the one corner with a Kitty Haven sign above a room. And on the opposite side, it's not that difficult to miss the distinct sound of several dogs barking.

"Hi, how can I help you today?" she smiles warmly.

And that's when he realizes what he's actually doing. 

"Uhm, yeah, I actually wanted to look at the dogs, if you - "

She's already moving around the counter, "Yeah, of course."

Why did this seem like a good idea again?

"You can put that over here if you want?" she shows him a little shelf, pointing at his shopping bag.

"Oh, uh, yeah."

What the actual fuck was he doing?

"Okay, hands to yourself. If there's one you want to really meet, I'll get them leashed up and everything. Was there a certain one or a breed you were interested in?"

Bucky shakes his head dumbly, "No, just wanted to look around, I guess."

The barking is insanely louder once the soundproofed door is opened. Everything smells of wet dog and he's actually kind of overwhelmed, unsure of where to look as she guides him down the first row of kennels.

"These guys here are some of our newer arrivals," her voice is raised to be heard over the barking.

"Rocco here is a mixed pit, two years old. He's better with a quieter home right now. And Jessie was brought in from the same place. Little skittish, but she's a real sweetie."

He looks down at the large pitbull that's standing up on its hind legs to see him. And the nearly identical female in the kennel next to him. His heart squeezes.

"We have Cookie over here. She's a Collie mix, about five years is what our vet estimates. Domino is our oldest pup, she's ten, but she is so good with kids."

The little graying dog wags her tail when he walks in front of her kennel.

Oh, this was such a bad idea. He wants to take them all. Could he take them all?

They round the corner and another row of kennels. Max, Coco, Puff, Pebbles, Sascha, Twix, and Kit all bark and wag their tails and excitedly hop up as he walks by. And he is hit by the fact that this was a really really stupid idea.

A final row of kennels.

He passes by Margo and Finn, but pauses at last before a Golden Retriever - the only dog actually laying on a bed instead of right at the door.

"This is Lottie - hi, sweetheart."

The dog hops up and walks over to them, nuzzling her nose against the kennel as the woman stops in front of her.

"She's three, very well behaved. Housebroken, knows your basic commands."

The dog isn't even looking his way, just sniffing against the door, trying to get to the woman.

"Her last owners couldn't afford the vet bills; had to give her up. But we got you all taken care of, baby, didn't we?"

It's only then that the dog turns her head and Bucky realizes, "She's blind?"

"Yes. She got SARDS and her previous family couldn't afford the treatment and surgery."

"Is she on medication or…?"

"No, not anymore. Antibiotics post-surgery and some pain relievers, but she's all healed up now."

He stares at the healed-over scars where her eyes used to be and his chest aches.

The woman seems to pause, taking in his expression. 

"Would you like me to grab a leash?"

He nods wordlessly, struck by the dog in front of him, sniffing around the edge of her kennel. 

She opens the door and the dog backs up with an excited little tail wag. With the command, she sits and the woman is able to get the purple leash attached to her collar. And then she hands it to him and oh, hey. This is happening. 

"Free to walk in here or right out on the main sidewalk. When you're done, just bring her back over to me or one of the other volunteers. These guys are microchipped, just so you know."

Oh, darn. Looks like opening all the kennels and stealing the dogs wasn't going to work out then.

"Oh, okay," Bucky says instead.

The woman moves on to the other kennels, before disappearing around the corner, giving him room with the dog. Bucky looks down at her waiting patiently in front of him. Slowly, he kneels down, offering out his hand.

She sniffs it, once, twice, before inching her face a little closer. 

He's awestruck.

Hesitantly, he touches her muzzle with gentle little strokes. She leans right into it.

"Hey, sweetheart. Wow, hey, hey."

Her tail thumps happily against the concrete floor.

"Yeah, you're coming home with me, aren't ya, baby?"

Distantly, he thinks he's being a touch insane. But Bucky just stands up and slowly starts to walk her down the back row. Watching how Lottie stays right along his left side, her head occasionally bumping against him. When they reach the end of the row, he guides her with the leash to turn around and she does it perfectly. 

"Good girl," he rubs a hand between her ears as she pants.

The woman doesn't seem the least bit surprised when he meets her up front only a minute later.

He signs the adoption paper and the license registration. Gets coupons for a pet store and a vet visit. Is given several pamphlets about bringing a new dog home. And one very specific paper about blind dogs which he spends far more time reading over than the other ones.

The volunteer recommends getting a harness or collar that signals her disability to others and something called a Halo? It all just kind of keeps hitting him in waves with that underlying what the hell did I just do?

And then he's standing in the middle of the icy sidewalk with his dog. His Dog.

Ooh, boy. That's a crazy thought, ain't it?

He looks down at Lottie who's just patiently sitting on his left side, panting lightly.

"Come on, girl. Let's get you home."

The apartment is still dark when he walks in. Lottie remains on her leash - he'll have to lead her around the place first. Opening the contents of the shopping bag, he grimaces as he hurries to put the very warm ice cream into the freezer.

And then he hears a tired groan from the bedroom, "That you out there, handsome?"

His breath catches as he looks down at Lottie and back at the bedroom door.

"Uh…" he stalls. "I'm not sure if I'd go that far?"

"I'll be the judge of that," you call back playfully. "You got the goods?"

He nods with a silent laugh, unbagging the last few items as Lottie sits at his feet, sniffing the kitchen counter. Bucky pets her head affectionately. 

"Yeah, I knew a guy. He cut me a deal."

Your laugh brings warmth to his chest, "That's my man. I hope it was a good deal?"

There's a rustle of sheets and then your very distinct footsteps. And then a gasp.

"I think so," Bucky says with a shy smile.

"You didn't," your voice is adorably high pitched as you stare.

"I did."

You continue staring with a gaped mouth.

There's a jolt of nerves that hits him then. The realization that maybe this wasn't actually a good idea. And, hey, maybe you should have been there to pick a dog you actually wanted. And he should have at least told you or hinted at the possibility instead of just running out and literally adopting a dog.

But then you're crossing the room and crouching down next to Lottie.

"Hey there, pupper. Hi - awww!"

She leans right into your waiting arms as you rub down her sides and scratch behind her ears.

"You got a name, sweetie?"

Your eyes are glued right to her, a lovestruck look on your face.

"Lottie," Bucky says. "But we could change it if - "

"No," you stare up at him with admiration. "No, I like Lottie." And then you turn your attention back to the dog, "Yes, I do! Yes, I do. Oh, you are an angel, aren't you? What a pretty girl!"

He loves the way you wrap yourself around the dog, emitting all your affection onto her. Not even bothered by the obvious scars on her face. Seeing a dog in need of love and giving her all you've got.

And then you're standing up and squaring him with a lopsided smile.

"You're an idiot, you know that right?"

Bucky tries to look offended, but he just smiles. "Yeah. But I'm your idiot."

"Ah, ah, ah!" You chastise, a hand reaching down to rest on Lottie's head, "Our idiot."

He can't help but roll his eyes as you lean down and continue petting the dog.

"Yeah, I hope you're ready for the full force of this guy's stupidity, Lottie. He comes home looking like a mess almost weekly. Can't even take off his boots at the door like a normal person."

Bucky coughs loudly, "Anyway, dinner?"

You don't even pay him a bit of attention. "And the smell. Doesn't even take a shower after a long mission. I hope your little doggy nose can handle it or maybe we'll just hose him down."

"Italian?"

Fixing him with a pointed look, "Could you get anymore cliched for Valentine's Day?"

He grumbles, feeling oddly left out now that you've placed all your attention on Lottie.

"Chinese?"

You smile, standing once again to press a kiss to his nose, "A man after my own heart."

Circling his arms around your waist, he tugs you against his chest, "All it took was the promise of takeout?"

"And a dog."

He nods, "And a dog."

You press a kiss to his lips.

"Oh! And taco socks," you wiggle your foot happily.

Another kiss, and then a longer one, and then a peck. He stares into your eyes, cupping your cheek with everything he has about to burst from his chest with love love love.

"I love you."

Your smile is sweeter than candy as you lean into his hand, "Love you too."

Lottie makes a little whining sound and you break away. Bucky ruffles her fur a bit, already planning a list out for all the things he would need to buy her.

Moving around him, you eye the goods on the counter - snatching the Midol up quickly.

 "You got my ice cream?"

He winces, keeping his face focused on Lottie, "Uh… it might have melted?"

You gasp.

"Way to go, Bucky. Just ruin my whole day, why don't you?"

Bucky gaps for a moment, then points at Lottie, "Look, sweetheart! I got you a dog!"

Another gasp of surprise as you move down next to him.

"Well, would you look at that! Guess I'll just have to forgive you then, won't I?"

Lottie thumps her tail against the floor, a smile seemingly on her face as she pants. Bucky pulls you in with one arm and kisses you soundly on the lips.

The day might not have gone as planned, but he thinks everything might have worked out the way it was supposed to after all.

Permanent Tag List: @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ | @diinofayce​ | @juniorhuntersam​ | @lambs-to-the-cosmic-slaughter​ | @majesticavenger​ | @outofmilk​ | @redhairedfeistynerd​ | @s-trawberryv-eins​ | @smilexcaptainx​ | @slowly-drifting-again​ | @weasleyworshipper​ | @ya-lyublu-tebya​

Permanent Bucky Tag List: @livvy-barnes​

Want to be added? Send me an ask ❤

[har-rison-s]

voulez-vous?

request: for the stranger things prompt: y/n is a French exchange student living with the hendersons and she falls for Steve when she’s playing a game with the group at game night and he walks in. Steve loves her accent.

A/N: Oh my goOoooOOooOod I've been aching to write Steve. Y'all, please send requests, I know you ST stans are thirsty now ;))) ANYWAY. Here's the lovely request, written out by me, tried my best :))) This is so cute. Sozzzz, I made the reader just as old as Steve, but hanging out with the gang since she's cool and they like her as well :)) Oh and they're playing Monopoly cause I'm stupid. Just like that. Sorry :D Look, I finished in one evening! Happy reading!

main masterlist

stranger things masterlist

no warnings! Pure fluff.

“You cheated!” 

“I did not! Those are the rules!”

“What? Your made-up ones?”

“It's clearly a cheat, Mike!”

“Lucas! I thought you were on my side!”

“On your side? Dude, we're on our own side. No teams! Just business.”

“Regardless, Mike, you cheated.”

“Y/N, what do you think we should do?”

The girl with dark half-braided hair looks up from her Monopoly cards with dead serious eyes and looks at all the teenage boys in order. She sighs, glances at her cards again and then at Mike Wheeler. 

“I say Michael should go to jail.” She says. Dustin smiles and grrrs. 

“I love the way she says jail.” He says and everyone gives him a death glare, except for Y/N. She smiles at the young boy. “Gail.” Dustin says the 'j' as an 'zh', imitating her french accent that appears in her almost every pronounciation.

“Yes, Dustin, we heard it the first hundred times.” Lucas says. “So Mike goes to jail? Like, Monopoly jail?”

“No, of course, the real jail. Let's call Hopper.” Dustin replies sarcastically in a monotone voice and Lucas sighs. 

“Okay. Mike goes to jail.” Will says and moves Mike's figurine over to the jail plat.

“Hey, dude! That was my thing to do.” Mike exclaims and Y/N sighs. 

“Mike, calm down.” The girl says, her tone calm, as always. Michael turns to her and the french girl grips his hand. 

“Dustin, why is there a hippie in your house?” Mike asks, turning back away from Y/N. 

“Mike, she's an exchange student, and you've already met her. Y/N will be staying with me and mom for a few months.” Dustin says while his hands are occupied with switching cards to money and money to little house figures. He's already told Mike about Y/N staying with them before, but his friend doesn't seem to listen.

“Five months.” Y/N corrects. 

“She says four just like I do!” Dustin cheers and him and Y/N both laugh. 

“I like her here. Keeps the mood a bit better.” Will says.

“Merci, Will.” Y/N thanks him, smiling at the boy. He smiles back.

“Yeah, Mike, Y/N is pretty cool. She told us all about France while you were out with Eleven.” Lucas joins in, mocking the last word he spoke. Mike rolls his eyes. 

“It's love, Lucas.” Y/N says to the boy and they both giggle.

Mike only looks at the two. “I'm not saying you're not cool,” he starts to say and throws his dice after Y/N finished making her move, “You're just different.”

“Eleven is different, too.” Will points out. 

“Yeah, but...” Mike doesn't get to finish.

“She is your girlfriend, I know.” Y/N says. “I do not want to join your party, don't worry, Michael. You guys are very cool and I'm excited to spend the summer with you all, as well. I just... come from a different culture.”

“Her accent's so cool.” Will says and Lucas agrees. 

“So what's the Arcades like in France?” Mike asks, realising maybe the girl's not so bad after all. She may be older than them for four of five years, and hanging out with kids might be lame for someone like her, but she's cool like them. Y/N likes comics and science, and it was a big surprise for the party. She watches movies and reads books, surprisingly doesn't go to parties. At least not that often. So, after evaluating all that, Mike has realised there's no harm in spending time with her.

“Just like yours is.” Y/N drops a potato chip in her mouth. “Only cheaper. Well, actually depends on the city's district, but cheaper, still.”

“What? Like ten pennies?”

“No, 50 cents. Euro cents.”

“Oh.” Mike responds.

“What do they look like?” Will asks.

“I will show you later.” Y/N says and makes her move again. The boys nod and turn back to the game, but then all raise their heads when someone walks through the door. The teens are anxious, having watched too many thrillers and horror movies to think that a friend could be walking in.

“Hey, dipshits.” Steve Harrington says once he's closed the door and everyone's breathed a sigh of relief. Except Y/N. She wasn't scared of a monster coming through the door, but she is certainly now anxious because such a handsome boy walked in, she's almost stopped breathing.

“Magnifiquement...” she whispers to herself. Steve looks down at her. 

“Who's this girl?” There's a smile on his face. 

“Oh, hi Steve.” Dustin says. 

“Don't get him started.” Mike rolls his eyes and Will pokes his shoulder. 

“This is Y/N. She's an exchange student, and she'll be staying with me for—”

“Five months.” Y/N finishes Dustin's sentence. She sticks her hand out for Steve to shake, which he does, after walking over to her. “Y/N.”

“Steve Harrington.” He says, smiling. 

“Is it spelled h-a-i-r-i-n-g-t-o-n?” She asks, looking between his eyes and his enermous mountain of hair on his head. Everyone laughs, and Steve only blushes in slight embarrassment. Y/N smiles. He looks like the boy of her dreams with that crimson blush and little smile. Enchanté.

“Unfortunately, no.” Steve says. “But I can always change it, illegally, of course.” He adds, and Y/N chuckles. 

“What did you want, Steve?” Lucas asks, making a move with his cards. 

“Well, I wanted to say something in French, but I don't know shit in it,” Steve makes a funny face, “but initially I wanted to ask you to write recommendations for me for my CV.”

“Us?” Will asks, laughing.

“Kids, man, we're kids,” Lucas says.

“What would we ever write in there?” Mike squints at him. Steve raises his eyebrows and eyes all four kids, trying to give them eyes for something they should understand. Y/N is silent, not understanding what's happening, and then the boys get it.

“Oh.” They all say in unison, realising what Steve was badly hinting at. “Oh, yeah, sure.” “We'll do it later.” “Sure, man.” “You got yourself a deal.”

Steve nods. “So, uh,” he moves back and forth on his feet, “can I... join you guys?” The adolescent finally asks. 

“Well, we're already playing a game,” Mike starts, a look of 'unlikely' on his face.

“But if you're willing to wait, you can join us in the next game.” Dustin suggests, nodding.

“Voulez-vous...” Y/N looks at Steve, and he looks at her. Oh, God, she's melting already. “Sit next to me?”

“Oh, I know what that means!” Steve exclaims. “It's from that ABBA song. It means - 'would you like to'? 'Or do you want to', right?” He's ecstatic.

Y/N nods. 

“I would gladly sit next to you.” He says. “I'd love to say it in French, but I don't know how to.” He admits. Steve excitedly sits down next to the mysterious french girl.

“Je veux m'asseoir à côté de toi.” Y/N says. “Or something like that.” She adds and smiles. Steve smiles as well. 

“That will take time.” He states, and crosses his legs, tying his hands over his knees and looking at Y/N. He's suddenly eager to talk to her, get to know her. And more so, hear her sexy as hell accent again. 

Permanent taglist: @v0idbella @inlovewithmiddleagedcelebs @works-of-fanfiction @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen @stfxlou @ur-gunna-h8-ths @one-taylor-one-vision@empressdreams @betweenloveandfire @but-legendsneverdie @deardeacy @fvckyeahbenhardy @thewinchesterchronicles @mavieesttriste16 @mrsmazzello @benhardyseyes @langdonzvoid @intrrverted @the-freak-cassie-131 @lundqvistisgod​

[teddystrap]

Drama CD: [幽幻ロマンチカ・破天荒] 第弐の謎 獏 ウタシロ

First post of 2020!!!! Happy New Year, and a special treat for all my lovelies - here is a bonus audio track from Yuugen Romantica's Utashiro (cv. Kimura Ryouhei). Remember, whenever you are feeling sad or down, he is always by your side. Just call out to him in your dream and he will be here...

This time the subtitle is hatenkou, which refers to a major feat that has never been accomplished before. The common theme seems to be that your demon boyfriend goes back in time to rewrite a tragic past event into a happier one using his magical powers and the strength of your love.

Oh wow, looks like I just spoiled the whole story? End of review. Bye bye (*^-^)/

...

(No srsly let's get started.)

This disc starts with three glass explosions [[#VOLUMEWARNING]] to make sure I was listening I guess... #RIPeardrums... ;_;

Anyway, you have a nightmare that you are in a creepy dark room. The ceiling is lined with needles and coming down on you, and Utashiro tells you that you have to escape before the candle burns out. He counts down to zero seconds and the ceiling collapses with a BANG,... but he tells you that the game is not over. It will just infinite-loop back to the beginning, until you are able to escape...

You wake up drenched in sweat, in your own bed/room with U-kun sleeping beside you. He comforts you and figures you must be nervous about the school camping trip tomorrow.

*

Next morning, ya'll head off on the trip. He disguises himself as a student and comes along to protect you, ofc. He's complaining about everything from the choice of location (deep in the woods), to the amount of food+cooking materials ya'll have to carry, blah blah. Better shut him up by sticking my tongue down his throat ;)

Apparently there's the rumours of the Seven Supernaturals nearby. He wonders whether to *make those rumours a reality* and scare the shit out of your classmates. This prompts you to throw food (and utensils?) at him, so he possesses you and touches you in a few non-erotic places, and you totally freeze and blush because apparently you are some kind of virginal Victorian maiden whose momma never told you how babies are made. Orz

At night you go to the bathroom and find him waiting outside for you. Turns out he has been sensing some *demonic energy* in this place. He possesses your body and rushes you back to the bungalow for some sexy fun times.

Back in the room, the girls are excited and stay up chatting late into the night. They ask you what you like most about your boyfriend, and to U-kun's horror, you happily tell them about the time he waited for you at the station with an umbrella when it was raining :3. He's sooo mortally embarrassed that he puts everyone to sleep with his demon powers. #useful #powersIwishIhad

With everyone down, however, you can't sleep because of the nightmare from last night. You tell U-kun about it, but he doesn't sense any 'nightmare vibes' from your dream. He thinks it's either: (1) a premonition, or (2) someone hacking into your dream with their evil plan. Then he changes into chibi form to comfort you, and ya'll fall asleep...

*

...And enter the 'nightmare'. The setting is an old house. There's Japanese dolls rolling around, paper amulets and blood bags lining the walls. U-kun still doesn't feel any 'nightmarish vibes' from it, and he tries to get you both out of there with his demon powers but guess what - IT'S NOT WORKING!! Dozen of lit candles appear, and bloody writing on the wall says: 「ここから出られるかな」 ('Can you get out of here?')

U-kun is all like: 'CHALLENGE ACCEPTED >:)' and yells at the dream-maker to leave you alone. Suddenly, the candles blow out. A timer starts, and you notice that the ceiling - which is gradually lowering - is lined with needles. U-kun tries and fails to blast through the locked door, and, panicking, he finally blows up the ceiling just in time. The two of you narrowly escape, by hiding in a corner where the fallen needles cannot reached.

You wake up in the bungalow, and U-kun notices that your hand has been scraped by the needles from the dream (i.e. if you had died in the dream, you would have died for real). U-kun kisses you wound and apologises for not being able to protect you with his powers. Then he tells you to keep awake for the next few hours, to avoid any bad 'after-effects' of the dream.

*

In the daytime, your class go hiking, and the two of you drop rank and stumble upon an open space in the woods. U-kun *generously* offers his knees for you to lay your head and make up your sleep from last night. Awwww~~~ (dies from kyun).

As you fall asleep, he kisses your lips to taste what kind of dream you are having. Just then, he senses a strong demonic force nearby...

That night, the two of you once again enter the recurrent 'nightmare'. U-kun asks the dream-maker why it's doing this to you, and the bloody writing on the wall appears again: 「ここから出られるかな」 ...Ya'll start running, but find that every room in the house is the exact same. Cloth appears and tie up both your bodies, and U-kun cuts them off with his powers, causing everything to return to peace and quiet.

U-kun immediately possesses your body to comfort you. He remembers back when the entire baku race died before his eyes, and vows to protect his loved ones and never let that happen again. Just then, he senses some uncertainty coming from the dream-maker, as you have remained unafraid despite repeated threats. Insert *inspirational speech* about how you are a fearless #sassygirl and u gonna get to the bottom of dis shit.

...You wake up back in the bungalow. U-kun is wondering if you have successfully escaped, and if your next 'nightmare' will be fatal, when he notices that you are actually holding a f-ing candle from the 'dream'. It's impossible to take objects out of a dream, which means that... OMG that is no f-ing dream!!! The horror house exists in reality. Dun-dun-DUN.

*

*

The two of you trek back to the open space from the previous day. There is an info sign that you missed before, of a hospital that was torn down around 100 years ago. The lingering spirits from this place must be kidnapping people in the dead of night and making it look like a 'nightmare'.

Over a century ago, a natural disaster caused many people to be admitted to this hospital. However, the treatment did not seem to be working, and their moans of pain could be heard every night. After the hospital was demolished, word spread of people living nearby being trapped in nightmares of this hospital: the rumours of the 'Escape Game', one of the Seven Wonders.

So, the mystery is finally revealed. The 'nightmare' is the work of the demon which has been spawned by the pain and anguish of the patients of this hospital. Demons are formed from the strong emotions of people, and this demon takes the shape of the hospital building.

To stop the threat to any more innocent lives, U-kun decides to destroy this demon... by himself. He reveals that he has felt known from the beginning that a love between a baku and a human would experience untraversable obstacles, and he would undertake all the pain to give you happiness.

*Of course* you could never be happy if anything happened to him, so you insist to tag along. He warns that he could be wrong and you might both die. But your reply gives him strength, he thanks you and apologises for trying to be the lone hero. And with that, you are off into the belly of the shark--!!!

*

Once again, you land in the horror house after falling asleep. U-kun announces to the demon that he knows its true form - that the knife attacks were actually surgical knives, the needles were for injection, and the cloths were bandages. His correct predictions send the demon into a state of panic once again. It sends out more surgical knives, which U-kun shields you from.

Turns out, the bloody writing on the wall is not an escape challenge, but rather an honest question: 「ここから出られるかな」 ('Can WE get out of here?'). The demon is not an embodiment of pain and anguish, but rather born out of hope, continually searching for someone who can reassure the patients that they will recover and be discharged from this place.

In the climax, he tells the demon that it can cut the two of you with a gajillion medical instruments, but it will never break your spirits. That the demon can be saved, and that is why you are here: to save it.

...

You are transported back in time to when the hospital was still running: patients lying in their beds, their faces distorted from the frightening dreams they are having every night. U-kun decides to help them by eating all their nightmares - to restore their happiness in the midst of despair, just like you did for him when he thought he had lost it all.

After eating all the patients' nightmares, their fears become soothed, and the dream-demon can be laid to rest eternally. The two of you wake up back in the open space, and it looks exactly the same as before. U-kun asks you if he actually managed to change anything, and you tell him: regardless of whether he did, the most important thing is to have faith.

Soon, it will be dawn. Cherry blossoms fall like snow from the surrounding trees, as if the patients are waving goodbye.

*

[Epilogue] The legend of the 'Escape Room Game' has changed: When the casualties of the disaster were moaning in the hospital at night, a baku came and saved them from their nightmares and soothed their fears. But whether all of them recovered and made it out of the hospital is anyone's guess.

At the end, U-kun thanks you for wishing for his happiness, and he now believes that he can find happiness too - together with you, of course!! *KISS*

[jmeddows2]

You (Roger Taylor x fem!Reader)

This is my Halloqueen gift for @mezzomercury​ Happy belated Halloween! I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it on time,but here it is. I’m really nervous about it ARGHH  @dtfrogertaylor​ Summary: Reader is an opera singer, with a chaotic manager with just the right contacts in the industry  Warnings: only a bit of swearing, else we have Fred and Reader become best friends, fluff Word count: 2k+ Notes: sorry for mistakes, english is not my first language Roger is single and childless in this story! The Duck House really exists and Queen used to stay there quite frequently when recording in Montreux :)

You were supposed to get a real job with a purpose, regarding the field you were actually educated in, but Steve, your manager had quite the reputation. Especially in terms of missing dates and mixing things up, making him the chaotic mess of a man that he naturally was. As an opera singer, that’s just started out, you struggled with auditions. Steve’s lack of time management was rather poor, that sometimes he wouldn’t tell you about the most important auditions in time, or miss most of them, because they just weren’t on his radar. If it wasn’t for all the contacts in the industry Steve apparently had, you would have run for the hills ages ago. One day, when Steve waltzed into the office to your meeting, which of course he was again late to, he was restless, jumping from one foot to the other. "I have it. This is going to be IT for you.” He explained it as a project. To 'expand’ your horizon, to fill your CV with something, that would make your future opportunities skyrocket from 0 to 100. .....to stand in for the band Queen as a background singer (in case of use)...... living, food and drinks provided.... is what the contract read ...should not be opposed to beer and fun. Must be flexible and be available to fly out during the time period of recording from June 1981 - March 1982. Place: Montreux, Switzerland. The few black letters on white seemed to get even more ridiculous throughout the over 100 page contract. But also funny. Mainly ridiculous though. Being crammed up in a recording studio in Montreux, Switzerland as an "option of use” wasn’t exactly your idea of a job. Or at least not what you were aiming for at the moment. The numbers with a 5 digit payment that crested the contracts last page, made you rethink the whole deal though, much to Steve’s joy. So you agreed. Your first encounter with Freddie, Brian, John and Roger was weird. Well, not with Freddie, Brian and John. They were all kind and excited to get to know you better. Roger was another thing. He didn’t even look at you or recognize you when you all gathered in one of the temporary Queen offices, to go over all the details. He was too distracted reading through the schedule for the upcoming months. It felt more like he pretended to be interested in the schedule on his lap, while absentmindedly toying with the pen between his fingers. You later found out, that he was dealing with the aftermaths of a really ugly breakup. Montreux, Switzerland You arrived at Geneva airport on a cold January morning, approximately 7 months after your first encounter with the band. Your personal driver was already awaiting you with a sign that read your name in capital letters. He had a wide grin plastered on his face. The exclusivity didn‘t stop there though. The one hour ride from the airport straight to the recording studio in the black limousine felt more like 10 minutes. A bottle of champagne, a few snacks and the heated leather seats in the car that made you feel oh so comfortable, may have been the reason why time passed so quickly. The nervous feeling crept back into your mind, as soon as the driver dropped you off in front of the casino, in which the recording studio was located.  The recording studio was situated in the basement. As you pushed the door open, there was only a friendly security guard in the foyer, checking your ID.  "Hi love, are you lost?“ It was Roger. His hair was a bit shorter than the last time you‘d seen him. "Oh hi, no actually, I‘m supposed to be here. As a background singer“ The uncertain tone in your voice made it sound more like a question. "uhh, I received a call to come out here. We had a meeting a few months ago“ Roger looked confused, but not bothered by your presence at all. "Well, be my guest then“ he awkwardly shook your hand and gestured for you to make you feel comfortable. "Where are you from uhm?“ "Micaela. Born and raised in New York City“ “A NYC girl?  pretty sure you’ve got some stories to tell” he teased.  “I’m sure not nearly as many as you” You got right back at him. That was something Roger highly valued. The wit, someone who’s not afraid to speak up. He smiled to himself and soon after Fred, Brian and John entered the studio as well. They each greeted you warmly.  Freddie was very excited to have you on board. When he wasn’t busy recording, as a fellow opera enthusiast, him and you always found something to talk about. Or it was rather having Freddie listen to all the stories you had in store, even if it was just a few. It almost felt like telling bed time stories to a child, seeing his dark, beautiful eyes light up, even at the slightest mention of words like ‘stage’, ‘orchestra’, ‘costumes’ or ‘opera’ in general. "I’m going to be honest with you, darling” Freddie said, as he took a seat beside you on the couch, while Roger was banging his drums frustratingly to the already finished guitar and bass backing track of ‘Las Parablas de Amor’ in the recording booth.  "We don’t actually need your beautiful vocals here” Freddie patted your thigh gently.  "You’re kidding, right? Why am I here then?” "I thought you may enjoy a little holiday out here. You know, there’s great spa resorts around town. And you could do some small assistant work, nothing hard or bad, I promise! No, I promise on Montserrat Caballé, so you really know I’m not joking” he swore. Well, you couldn’t say no now.

Out of nowhere there was a loud crash. You turned around to see Roger tossing his drum sticks across the room, nearly hitting John in the head. Roger continued to throw casette tapes around, that were properly lined up on the shelf nearby. “I’m done with this. It sounds like a cheap piece of crap.” he stormed out of the room. The boys only looked at each other, as if they were communicating through their minds on who’s turn it was now to go after Roger. "I’ll go” you volunteered, seeing as no one else made a move and what could you possibly have to lose? Except for a huge amount of payment. Ok, maybe it wasn’t the best idea, but the other boys looked quite relieved when you got up from your seat. You prepared for the worst,  grabbing your coat from the hanger on the door on the way out. It was really cold outside. Roger wasn’t hard to find. He was just outside the building, a cigarette hanging from his lips and rubbing his hands up and down his arms. He certainly wasn’t clever enough to bring a jacket with him, after his dramatic, oscar worthy departure. "Hey” how exactly do you approach an angry person you don’t know, but find really attractive? "Did they send you out here?” a chuckled groan left his lips.   “No, I came out here on my own. Want to talk about it?” you suggested. He offered you a cigarette, but you declined. 

"Talk about what? about the crap we’ve been recording lately? It’s disco.” he grimaced a pained face. “It sounds like the music they play in gay clubs. I mean don’t get me wrong, I support everyone’s sexuallity, but not everyone’s taste in music! I’m just not made for Disco music. It’s a load of bollocks. God, now I’m just venting” he threw the cigarette on the ground, putting it out with his boots. "I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m actually an opera singer. Not really Rock 'N Roll, is it? Yet I’m here in a recording studio with one of the biggest rock bands.” "Ok you have a point. Why did you agree to do this anyway?” he was shivering, while lighting another cigarette. "Sometimes you make sacrifices for the sake of others, but only as long as you’re feeling comfortable in your own skin ”  "God,I hate that you’re right.” he sighed, unable to hold the pout anymore, that was was replaced by a smile forming on his lips. "Now let’s better get back inside before you freeze to death” you gestured for the door. "Just a minute” he grabbed you gently by the arm. "Thank you” Roger hugged you tightly, nuzzling his face into your neck. The feeling of his cold cheeks in contact with your warm skin made you jump a bit.  “ Now let’s go and make some disco music” he laughed, grabbing your hand.  Expecting another fight and argument by Roger, Brian, Freddie and John were surprised to experiece as calm as he ever was. Stil, you decided to put the recording on hold for the day and locate back to the house, in which you all stayed. "Welcome to Duckingham Palace” when entering the house, you quickly noticed why Roger called it like that. There were hundreds of wooden duck statues situated all around the house. They were evrywhere, quite creepy, but as time passed, they became pretty much invisble to you. Believe it or not.

You all had gathered around the living room with a hot drink in hand, when John lit the fireplace, creating a cosy atmosphere. It felt like you’d known Freddie, Brian, John and Roger since forever, as you seemed to pretty much share the same or at least similiar interests and humor. "Ok now Micaela. Tell me. What’s your favorite Queen album?” John asked curiously while pouring a generous amount of rum into his hot chocolate. "Easy” Freddie answered for you. “Has to be A Day At The Races” you nodded in response. "See? we’re besties already, you guys better step your game up” Freddie threw his arm around your shoulders.  Roger couldn’t stop giving you little looks while having a conversation with Brian, who as expected also wasn’t a fan of the new direction in music they were headed at. “ how did you tame the lion, darling?” Freddie chuckled into your ear. " you know..How did you get Roger to calm down so fast? I know how he can get when he’s in a mood” "The cold outside did the job actually” you tried to sound nonchalantly.

"Of course yeah, that’s also why he’s been eyeing you up, ever since we left the studio. Did something happen?” Freddie kept pressing, but in a playful way.  "He never gives in so easily. Usually not even to pretty girls like you when he’s mad” Your only answer was a light blush of cheeks. At 2 am, John was the last one to go to sleep. Roger and you literally had to drag him up to his room. He was so plastered, that he didn’t even recognize his own song on the radio. Roger and you decided to sip on one last ‘good night drink’ to reward yourselves for all the hard work of tucking John into bed like a little baby. There was a silence upon you, but it wasn’t awkward at all, just relaxing. "Thank you again for today” Roger broke the silence. "Nothing worth thanking me for” "It is actually. Y'know I’m glad you’re here. You’re going to make this much more bearable for me" you snorted out with laughter, not realizing how serious he was about the words he said. "I’m being honest, love! I really fancy you and I want to get to know you better.” he was so close to you now, you could feel his warmth. "the seaside promenade is really beautiful, almost as beautiful as you.” Roger brought his hand to your hair, to brush a few strands behind your ear. "So, it’s a date then” you nervously drew a circles with your fingertips on the surface of the wooden kitchen counter, while looking into his ocean eyes. "Yeah it’s a date” he smiled at you. You both took your last swigs of your drinks.    "Good night Roger” you hugged him tightly and gave him little peck on the cheek, before wandering off to bed, thinking of all the beautiful scenarios the following day would have to offer. Roger followed closely behind, entering his own bedroom. The feeling of your kiss on Roger’s cheek lingered with him, until he fell asleep, thinking of his newly found happiness. You.

[renwritesrandomthings]

スタンドマイヒーローズ

Profiles 

I really wanted to make a series of posts for Stand My Heroes. Invested on this game ever since a friend tag me on the Neko-cafe event months ago. 

Anyway, let's begin with the Matori:

Narcotics Control Division (mayakutorishimari-bu or Matori)

The division is fairly small, even nationwide---with only 240 members. Among the Division is the Investigation Planning Division.

" I'll make you work to death starting tomorrow" Aoyama Itsuki CV: Sugita Tomokazu Birthday: September 23 Age: 28 Height: 181 The division's ace. He is reliable with work and a good sempai. He's a perfectionist and little sadistic when it comes to work. His weakness is his kanji writing. Strangely, he keeps his foodie hobby as a secret. Aoyama is somehow connected to an accident that happened to the past, which is related to MC too. Aoyama is strict, but very caring. In the game, he'd cook for MC and give her bento because she's a workoholic who forgets eating.

"I am too dependent? Of course, not."

Natsume Haru CV: Kaji Yuki Birthday: April 19 Age: 26 Height: 178 cm Natsume lives in a hotel. He's the type who doesn't dislike things and would do anything. He's Matori's party planner and everyone's go-to for the latest restaurants and pubs. But, Natsume leaves on time. Always. Is there a reason for this? He's called as the 5:15 PM guy, which is somehow rare in a Japanese workplace.

"For the longest time, I have been searching for you." Yui Kotaro CV: Hanae Natsuki Birthday: June 1 Age: 27 Height: 180 cm He's the division's genius pharmacists, who doesn't filter the things he blurts out. Hence, called as the 'weirdo'. Despite his appearance, he's the most 'manly' among them. HAHAHA~ Yui also has an underground fanclub. Girls in the office who hate him on the surface, but secretly crush him. In his route, when MC and him became a couple, the office girls could not believe it. LOL. He also picked a perfume that is chemically apt for MC's skin, rather than the smell. He often sleeps on his desk or chairs because he is perpetually tired of research.

"Everyone has a secret or two." Imaoji Shun CV: Namikawa Daisuke Birthday: November 4 Age: 29 Height: 182 Imaoji lived abroad and just returned to Japan. He is always heard talking in a very respectful form or Keigo. Due to linguistic nuances, he seems to find himself saying a totally different thing. However, Imaoji is sharp and his expression would show what he really thinks. Matori's Dark Price. HAHA~ And, the real Do-s and shady. He lives in Yokohama and do love the outdoor. He often goes to work with is motorcycle. In Watabe's route, he is MC's English tutor and the only one who knows their relationship besides Seki

"Don't sweat it too much." Seki Daisuke CV: Maeno Tomoaki Birthday: August 18 Age: 33 Height: 182 cm The chief of the division, Seki is a well-loved boss. He doesn't date due to his past. Despite being the perfect boss, he is so bad at waking up. Seki is actually the official recruiter of MC to join Matori. In the original game, he and Aoyama saw MC in a party. Then, talked to her in the parking lot---making her to accuse him of a stalker. LOL. In the SutaMai plaform, he does the same, but back then, MC is still working in a drug store. In the anime, MC is part of the Matori but not officially by Stand. She was suspended for not following orders, but was endoresed by Seki to help in the recruitment of the new members.  Watabe says that Seki is not the type who’ll do things for fame.

" I'm a guy who dislikes ordinary things." Watabe Satoru CV: Toriumi Kousuke Birthday: January 11 Age: 33 Height: 176 cm The Elite Diplomat who works smart. He is Matori's mood maker. Contrary to how he looks, he cannot drink sake. In his route, Watabe does not directly work in Matori, but with them. He is a diplomat specializing on drug-related issues. He's also the go-to of the division for speeches, since he is multilingual. He and MC crossed paths years ago when he was still a newly assigned diplomat and MC was still a student presenting her paper in France. Watabe loves to spoil the Matori Team by bring fancy deserts. HAHA~ he seems low-key, but his father is a Foreign Minister and her mother is a Diplomat. Imaoji used to work for him as an assistant before MC came along. He and Seki seems to be really close friends.

[hardeepcox]

Visa Run #3

 Before I start this, I want to add that during Visa Run#2 my dad, Poomi and I found May at the Foxzee’s bargirl place. Business was dead though because of Chinese New Year and actually it felt pretty awkward. I also want to add May had acquired a laugh that seemed more like a maniacal cackle, true story. Seems hilarious now though oh my god. May and I had been messaging every now and then so we stayed somewhat in touch, but when we met this time the atmosphere just felt really awkward. She told me how less fat I now looked and then invited me to play pool. She destroyed me in the first game. We had a re-match, and the bar boss then told her to let me win (thanks for the intel Poomi [he understands Thai]). Dude I am so bad at pool that I actually sunk the 8 ball too early and managed to lose again. I give up at pool, another awkward beer later, I can hear Poomi’s soul faintly saying “true…. yup….” (this is his catch phrase and also the mantra that I mentally tell myself to be chill). He’s bored, and honestly so am I and my dad. We end up spending that night roaming around and drinking beer in random places, pretty chill.

  Okay the ACTUAL Visa Run #3

This was my third and final visa run thus far. And for some reason I found myself going to Bangkok ALONE.

 The dumbass company that I work for (whose name I won’t say but rhymes with ee em gee) said we had to go to a capital city to get our new visas, we couldn’t go to the Cambodian border and get new visas like literally every other English teacher in the city. This then became my one shot at exploring Bangkok again on my own and getting to know this city better.

 Day 1 The first stupid thing I did.

 I didn’t know that there was a metro train going straight from the Suvarnabhumi airport in Bangkok to my hotel, so I got stuck in multiple cabs during rush hour, got sent to the wrong address, and walked for over an hour while dragging my carry-on luggage. Yeah it sucked but dammit it looked so cool. After walking under and over a sketchy bridge or two, I finally got to my hotel. Damn it actually looked pretty nice, well on the outside at least. I definitely killed a few roaches in my room that night. I only had 2 nights so I planned to make the most of it.

 The second stupid thing I did.

I went to the one place that I had only heard about in legends… Nana Plaza. I was now experienced in the partying ways of Thailand, these guys don’t fuck around. I took a Grab motorbike taxi to the place, and the driver drops me off right outside the beginning of a street full of bars. They seem to be stemming from this big place that looks like an outdoor shopping center at your local suburban neighborhood, except for all of the stores were replaced with strip-clubs. Read that again, and nope I am actually not exaggerating. Imagine an outdoors shopping center where you would expect to see Baby Gap, Auntie Annes, Toys r Us Express, Hallmark, CVS Pharmacy, and a local tae-kwon-do dojo, but they have all been replaced by strip-clubs. Yeah and lots of red colored lights. I took a lap around the bar in the center, and the music was absolutely pumping in every single one of the surrounding rooms. I walked up to the second floor, and it got a bit more intense. I think or at least it seemed to me like this floor was the ladyboy floor. Two ladyboys would stand by the entrance to the bars and hit you with something, like a small whip or something. Not my thing, if you’re into this kind of stuff, well then hey you do you bro. Nana’s Plaza is a bit much for me at the moment so I step out to see some of the smaller local bars. My method of choosing which bar to enter first is to listen for the one that starts playing reggaeton first. A couple beers later I’m kinda tipsy, so I go BACK into Nana’s Plaza. I somehow stumble straight in and a lady tries to pull my arm. “Real girls here in this bar” she says. I reply, “what about that bar straight ahead?” She goes “I don’t know.” My drunk logic says this person is trying to reverse-psychology my ass, I’m going straight into the ‘I don’t know room,’ fuck it. She lady is surprised while I zoom past her into this unknown abyss.

I walk into this room, and I see a stage with a pole with a bunch of girls dancing. I take a seat right in front of them, which I usually refer to as the “splash-zone.” I sit down and order a local beer, probably a Chang, and suddenly all the girls that were dancing began to line-up in a horizontal line in front me and give me the sad puppy eyes. They want me to choose one to sit next to me. I go “hey actually I just wanna drink my beer.” They try to look even sadder and bummed out. I try to ignore them. After a couple awkward sips of my beer I figure well I guess I’m supposed to actually choose one in this place. So I pick the one that I think is the hottest. She’s happy that I chose her and she sits on my left. Immediately she grabs my left hand, puts it over shoulder, under her bra, and suddenly I’m holding her boob. I was like damn that was quick uhh I’ll just keep chillin and sipping on my beer. She tells me she’s a university student, and some point makes a comment that I find confusing. I don’t remember what she said, but my response to that was “wait…. Is this a ladyboy bar?” She says yep and laughs her ass off. I go “wait so all those hot girls on-stage are actually dudes?” She says yep. I go “ohhhh… okay then cheers!” And we have a beer. I look across the room and I notice that the bartenders are also ladyboys, but not the kind that look like supermodels. They are just regular dudes, with guts, who want to be women. At that point I realize that being a ladyboy is not necessarily just about transforming yourself into a supermodel, some dudes just want to be chicks. And hey I can respect that. You do you bro. Anyways, my ladyboy then says, “hey I have milk too.” I say, “shut up no you don’t.” She goes, “wanna see?” I reply, “um fuck YES.” The ladyboy pulls down her bra, squeezes her nipple, and a few drops of white liquid come out. I’m like “duuddeeee that’s fucking awesome!” and I give her a high-five. She asks me, “wanna taste?” I say “dude fuck youuu” and we are hysterically laughing our asses off. Then she decides to take it up a notch and asks me if I wanna take her back to my place for 3000 baht. I say nah sorry I’m not into that. She replys, “oh it’s your first time? Okay then half price.” I say, “nahh sorry I’m not down.” Eventually she gives up and start to go back with the rest of the ladyboys. Before she leaves she says “can I get a tip?” I had already paid for the beers so I was like, “why?” But I just want to leave so I give her a 100 baht so she can go away. She then says, “can I have 200 baht more? I want to buy food.” I say “uh hell no.” She smiles and slithers back into the darkness. And I proceed to get the hell out of that place.

 The third stupid thing I did.

 I was hungry, and I was determined to eat some mozzarella chicken at Family Mart. I walked around Bangkok drunk as hell, through random streets, looking for a Family Mart. I find nothing but back to back 7-elevens and I am so incredibly annoyed. I eventually give up and get some basil rice with chicken at a 7-eleven. After over an hour of roaming around the city and looking for Family Mart, I hail a street taxi and head back to the hotel. Day 1, complete.

 Funny enough… in the morning I walk outside my hotel and there is a fucking Family Mart literally across the street. I scurry my way across the street and go into Family Mart, mozzarella chicken here I come! I then realize, they only serve this dish in Vietnamese Family Mart… not Thai Family Mart… fuck me.

 Damn Bangkok, you always find a way to surprise me you sly bastard.

 *I forgot to mention that earlier during Day 1, I had to stop by the Vietnamese Embassy in Bangkok to get a new Visa. This was the whole reason of me being in Bangkok in the first place. The office which handles Visa applications is literally a hole in the wall, literally dude. And what’s funny is that it’s located in a reallyyyy nice part of town. It honestly felt like Northwest Washington DC, but of course the hole in the wall just felt like an actual hole.*

  Day 2

 I decide to explore the city on foot. As I stroll around, I see my hotel is located on Sukhumvit 71, near a Muslim community on one side and a bargirl community on the other side. Super interesting, I hadn’t seen this often in Asia except for in some streets near Ben Thanh Market in Ho Chi Minh City. I ordered a coffee, I think the lady was a Thai Muslim and she was super nice. But of course… no coffee will ever compare to Vietnamese coffee, the best in the fucking world. I only drink milk-coffee, for some reason it tastes like home. I explore a bit more and I notice the metro station is literally next to my hotel. Jesus I’m an idiot, but okay lesson learned. Anyways I can walk for hours, so I keep going like the energizer bunny. I get some spicy Thai food near a gas station, it was like spicy garlic chicken with rice, veggies, and a fried egg on top. Dope. I crushed it. My mouth was on fire and I was craving caffeine again so I walked to a nearby coffee shop and sipped on some damn good local coffee. I used the coffee shop’s wifi and I called a Grab taxi to take me to Sukhumvit road near the Hilton to reminisce the good old times I had previously had with my dad, Paper, and later on Poomi. I get there and I am walking for hours again, enjoying every second of it. I get lost, and suddenly come across different streets that I have seen before during my previous trips. I am absolutely loving this, downtown Bangkok is becoming more and more familiar. Also keep in mind that I am eating random foods along the way. Damn downtown Bangkok is amazing, I estimate it’s about 20 years ahead of Ho Chi Minh City in regards to development. Sky train, subway, and advanced technology every step of the way. As I continue roaming around I start to feel tired and I think about going back home, also I’m full. SUDDENLY. I find myself resting on a walking bridge in between two shopping malls, and I see a fucking TACO BELL! Dude! My first Taco Bell outside of the US! I rushed in there and ordered a taco combo meal with beef. So full but so worth it. I decided to keep walking so I could burn at least 2% of the calories I had been consuming that day. It starts getting dark out, and I can feel the vibe of the city changing. When the lights go out in this concrete jungle, the night beings come out to chill. I only have this evening left in this trip so I decide to make the most of it, let’s go to Soi Cowboy!

 I start walking towards Soi Cowboy on foot (soi means “side street” in Thai), and now it’s dark. Tons of working girls are sitting on the sidewalks, all trying to get your attention. The streets definitely feel more intense than in the morning and afternoon. I keep walking and walking, and eventually I make it! I start walking towards Soi Cowboy and along the way there is a little bar next to the street playing some rock music that catches my attention. I decide to keep this spot in mind. I walk into Soi Cowboy. This shit feels really intense when you go alone, and the strippers or ladyboys are out on the street pulling people into their bars. I decide that I had enough of this shit last night, I’m going back to that street bar I just walked by. I walk to the street bar, get a chair, and start sipping on a Chang beer. Two older ladies are working there and letting the customers choose the songs. Dude if you let me DJ at a bar you KNOW I’m gonna play reggaeton, 100% chance. One lady has good English so we are chatting, the other lady doesn’t speak much English so she sits behind me and starts massaging my shoulders. This lady massaged my entire upper body while I sat there that night, I never even asked for a massage. These ladies are bar-ladies, so they will ask you to buy them drinks. I figure ah hell why not, it’s my last night and I am actually having a good time! We must have been like 4 or 5 beers in when the massage lady says, “hey choose any bottle and I’ll buy you a shot.” I know what’s going down… these ladies are trying to get me to blackout! I, having much experience in blacking out, have an idea. Most Asian girls that I’ve met don’t know much about the strength of liquor/spirits, whatever you want to call it. I look at the options: vodka, tequila, gin, absinthe, jagermeister, you know… the classics! Somehow, I notice a lonely bottle of Malibu, this is a fruity flavored rum with a relatively low alcohol percentage. These ladies don’t know the difference between Malibu and Jose Cuervo, so I order a bitch shot of coconut Malibu and gulp it down. The ladies then expected me to blackout any minute…. Any minute now….. umm…. Anyyyy minute now?! Nope. I was just tipsy and feeling good! So I decide okay I’ll call it a night, time to call Grab. I get the bill it was about 3000 baht! Ouch, but I had a good time so it’s cool. Then the lady with good English asks me, “would you like to take my friend home?” She was referring to the massage lady, who by the way had already digivolved a couple decades ago. I kindly refused. Then, the massage lady asks me for a tip, she had massaged me over an hour non-stop. By now I was tipsy, but I remembered the ladyboy last night asking me for a tip at Nana’s Plaza twice, and this time I was like aw helll nooo. I didn’t tip the massage lady and she was angry as hell, she wouldn’t even say goodbye to me. I called a Grab bike, and he was out there waiting for me in a crowd full of cabs trying to pick-up other drunk, idiot foreigners. Cab drivers of different ages would stand in my way as I walked to my Grab driver, and me being a drunk asshole was actually shoving them to the side! Haven’t done that ever before or since, but I think I was just drunkenly annoyed at people trying to constantly scam me. I finally find my Grab driver and I hop on.

A slight drizzle begins and I don’t have a raincoat, but damn does it feel amazing. As the motorbike speeds up, the light rain hits my face harder. I open my arms wide like wings and I feel like Leonardo Dicaprio in Titanic. I survived day 2, and the next day I had to catch a flight back to Vietnam with a new Visa. Success!

I was supposed to visit Thailand again in June, but yeah goddamn coronavirus hit so… that’s not gonna happen. Until next time Thailand!

[clearui]

幽幻ロマンチカ 満天花 / Yuugen Romantica Mantenka [Characters]

*DO NOT POST THIS TRANSLATION ELSEWHERE!!*

"I'll show you that I can make you happy with my own hands."

Aggresive Tengu-sama

ヒフミ / Hifumi CV. KENN

The youkai that caused one of The Seven Wonders, "Spirited Old School Building."

Before, he had accepted his fate to disappear, but he chose to keep on living after meeting a certain girl. He has also overcome his fear toward humans and has grown up.

Having graduated with you from the school, he's living among human surroundings, even he has got his own place. Dessert is a must for his meals due to his extreme sweet tooth. When it's just the two of you, he has fun flirting and teasing you.

PROFILE Age: Just turned into 19 years old. (Approximately 589 years old) Height / Weight: 175cm / 60kg Birthday: October 9th Race: Karasu-Tengu Likes: Crepe Dislikes: Mackerel What do you do at home? "Something like feeding her?"

VS Reappearing Shadow in Prefab building

Prefab bulding in the old school building site It seems a wandering shadow can be seen in the middle of the night. It seems anyone encountering will have their existence erased. I know we are going to part ways soon, but how can I accept to lose you this way!?

      "If you keep doing such cute things, I'll curse you, you know?"

メリィ / Merry CV. Toriumi Kousuke

The youkai that caused one of The Seven Wonders, "Merry-san of Broadcasting Room."

He has a frightening appearance since he is covered in black attire, but he is actually a shy young man. He is just a shy youkai who is in love with you. He is not scary at all.

Even living under one roof, he seems to be expressing his love at his own pace. He is very dependable most of times since he is good at handling electronics. Even though he's embarassed, he always makes sure to hug you. His next goal is, "Meal? Bath? or......me?" or so he said.

PROFILE Age: Is it alright to say that I'm 19 years old? (Real age is unknown) Height / Weight: 189cm / 74kg Birthday: July 7th Race: Merry-san Likes: Hamburger, especially the meat. Dislikes: The fact he's embarassed to death to initiate something by himself. What do you do at home? How about watching horror movie together......?

VS You who Forgets

You keep forgetting one thing and another. His smiles, his embarassed expression, his frightened eyes, and this feeling. If you forget everything, I don't think I can handle it. Hey, don't disappear......Senpai.

      "Let's both of us keep on going for the sake of our happiness."

Mean Baku-sama

ウタシロ / Utashiro CV. Kimura Ryohei

The youkai who caused one of The Seven Wonders, "The Thirteenth Step of Nightmare.”

He is the last surviving of dream-eating youkai known as [Baku]. He once wandered in order to search for his surviving clansmen, now he is freeloading in the your house. He decided to live together with you.

He likes frigthening you by showing nightmare, but he would not let anything beside him to be the cause of your lack of sleep. He is actually secretly happy that he got to buy matching pillow with yours for the new house. And of course, those feelings are obvious to you.

PROFILE Age: Let's just say I'm 20 years old (Approximately 811 years old) Height / Weight: 176cm / 59kg Birthday: April 6th Race: Baku Likes: Dreams that are easy to digest Dislikes: Overeating What do you do at home? Reading. Reading together?

VS Presence under the Pillow

Even without sound or signs, that thing is coming. The nightmare that you've been seeing in the middle of the night has become a reality. It begins to erode the city little by little. It becomes stronger by each time you sleep. You won't be able to open your eyes......forever.

      "I won't lie about my feeling toward someone I love."

Yandere Inugami

トネリ　/ Toneri Cv. Hirakawa Daisuke

The youkai who caused one of The Seven Wonders, "Youkai of Gymnasium."

Since he was used as a medium to curse people in the past, he did not understand about affection. However, he has understand the importance of life and love after he met you.

After the graduation, he stays in your house as your lover (even as a guard dog). He also plans to be useful. However, since you are addicted with games and television show, please be careful of being possessed all of a sudden.

PROFILE Age: I'm 19 years old! (Approximately 659) Height / Weight: 172cm / 56kg Birthday: November 11th Race: Inugami Likes: Beef jerky Dislikes: Leek What do you do at home? More importantly, let's go for a walk!

VS Unknown Backstreet

In the usual path, we find ourself turning into an unfamiliar backstreet. There are no people or youkai there, but there are lots of monsters. What to do to escape from this place!? If we get lost, we'll get killed. So, you better not let go of my hand!

     "Please entrust your life to me. As my wife that is."

Shameless Yamata-no-Orochi

イリヤ / Iriya CV. Tachibana Shinnosuke

The youkai who caused one of The Seven Wonders, "Sleep Paralysis in Infirmary."

He once had distorted feeling against human. Since, he has been afraid of hurting someone. However, he has overcome his anxiety from the love he received from you.

He lives in the same house with you, and he's practically making himself at home. Why, he is still a person with twisted personality. He's the type who takes his time catching his prey. In addition, he likes the crying face of his beloved girl. I wonder if you understand.

PROFILE Age: It's not bad to be 20 years old, huh? (Approximately 765 years old) Height / Weight: 180cm / 64kg Birthday: December 8th Race: Yamata-no-Orochi Likes: Cola Dislikes: Heat What do you do at home? I want to touch you.

VS Unreachable Voice

What is happening to you is definitely a curse. Voice was robbed from you, sight was also robbed from you. In this darkness, senses are taken away from you. Is this a punishment from falling in love with a youkai? Hey, can my voice reach him?

      "As expected, I really want to live together with humans."

Haraguro Bakeneko-sama

アラハギ / Arahagi CV. Kaji Yuki

The youkai who caused of The Seven Wonders, "Piano that Plays by Itself in the Music Room."

He is carefree and popular as usual. He had forgotten the kindness he received from human when he was born. He has lived not attached to people, but now that he has spent time with you, he has been enjoying his happiness everyday.

Even he still looks cute and manly, even he starts living together with you, he has the tendency to take care of you no matter what. He cannot resist the magical power of kotatsu. He loves licking you and rolling around together.

PROFILE Age: Seems I've turned 19 years old! (Approximately 475 years old) Height / Weight: 168cm / 54kg Birthday: February 22nd Race: Bake-neko Likes: Strolling aimlessly Dislikes: Rain What do you do at home? Let's roll around together, just both of us~

VS Me that has disappeared from the photo

You found a nostalgic picture you've taken with everyone. However, you are not there in the picture. More and more people around you seem to be unable to recognize you any longer. Why are humans so futile? How about I take you inside forever?

      "Living together and supporting each other. Isn't that what it means of being a couple?"

Tsundere Youko-sama

ザクロ / Zakuro CV. Sakurai Takahiro

The youkai that caused one of The Seven Wonders, “Fireballs in Biology Preparation Room.”

Although he used to detest human before because he was betrayed by humans, he already forgave them once he gave his heart to you. He might be clumsy, but he's naturally dignified and gentlemanly.

It is in the progress, but he is actually planning to have a wedding ceremony with you. He tends to call you out "My wife" without realizing. Even with that tendency, this fox is still shaking even from you holding his hand. He is onset to take care of you as a husband. Relying on him might be trouble, but you can see him grinning.

PROFILE Age: You have problems with me being 20 years old? (Approximately 774 years old) Height / Weight: 182cm / 67kg Birthday: March 6th Race: Youko Likes: Fried tofu Dislikes: Tails What do you do at home? Even I can make my own meals.

VS Snake God

There used to be a land God protecting this land since long time ago. However that whom they call Snake God is no longer. However, there are a strange rumor circulating around. It says that the Snake God is currently looking for a sacrifice. Also, the one it sets its eyes on is......you.

       "I have been in love with you since over hundred years ago."   ※Residence of Toilet

Hanawo of Toilet

ハナヲ / Hanawo CV. Midorikawa Hikaru

He is the youkai who caused one of The Seven Wonders, “Hanawo of Toilet.”

His identity is "Hajimari no Youkai(Youkai of Beginning)." He has been watching humans and youkai together for hundreds years along. However, it seems the loneliness has been brought to a close when he fell in love with you.

He is a friendly big brother that feels satisfied from seeing you smile. When he feels bored, he always wants to pamper you. He likes games and manga, so that explains how often he buys latest works quickly. Excalibur (toilet brush) is his weapon when he's cleaning the toilet.

PROFILE Age: If I'm already 20 years old, then I'm an adult now! (Roughly around 870 years old) Height / Weight: 181cm / 66kg Birthday: August 7th Race: Secret Likes: Expressing love Dislikes: The pain of being forgotten What do you do at home? Let's play game together!

VS Nanagiri Gakuen

Nanagiri Gakuen has been a school shrouded in Seven Wonders since ancient times. The school is rumored that it is possible to meet youkai there. However, when the story about it is distorted, the youkai who lived in the school also get distorted. If you don't restore them, you will disappear. Aah, what a tragedy it is!

        *DO NOT POST THIS TRANSLATION ELSEWHERE!!*

Translated by clearui

[divine-identite]

So March through July has been most interesting lately -

So, in short, we are going to call these Arcs (like story arcs). There are five of them right now. 

Facts to remember about this person; she’s bisexual, into open relationships, looking for fwb, is on the spectrum, had depression and social anxiety - which is why she smokes.

So I met a coworker who I got along with in march. I thought she was really cool and knowledge, however, I had a strange intuition that something was off with her at the same time. So before all that, I tried inviting her out to some events - concerts and stuff. Cause I thought she was legit cool and whatnot.  She says no to this and eventually, in late April she invites me out to see Avengers: endgame; she does so because she works Fridays and Saturdays, and her friends are busy on those holidays. So I pick up, okay, so im just 2nd pick for this event? So I let it go and I buy our tickets and set the date and time. She cant do it because she is a tech and im just PRS. ( i just answer phones).

1st Arc

So on the movie day, I meet her at her place. her place is very lacklustre, she lives in a one-bedroom with no furniture - which is fine. Her roommate lives in the living room with an airbed. It’s all fine to me, I know the struggle is real. She’s nice enough to offer me coffee and scrambled eggs. I take just the coffee. She goes on a smoke break in her room, she's nice enough to close the door for her roommate.  I sit on the roommate's bed and how she gets off it is odd as fuck; she kind casually brushes her hands along her arm and wrist before asking me to stand up, and it takes her a while to get up and go. Because shes trying to decide what coat she wants to wear. So finally go off, get a ride up to the mall centre in german town. She starts talking about her stories and stuff - and about one time post-banging some freshmen on her sophomore year. I was thinking okay that’s good on you lol. Now the worst part is she starts leaning her head on me afterwards through the whole ride. We get to the movies afterwards, and there two seats left because her dumbass wanted to take her time getting here. So one guy pointed us to two seats left in the crowd. The theatre was packed so what she did was cling to my arm and lean to my shoulder- again. So after the movies, we go to chipotle, and then to the beer & spirits which I pay. Because her ID is expired, how the fuck do you let your Id expire? so I have to get it. We order a lyft head back and drink at her place and play some games. We both had a good time but I left once I saw the roommate had teased her about being autistic and etc. The shoulder leaning thing had me confused - she told me im an associate. 

So I bring up the issue with the shoulder leaning issue. So apparent none of that mattered. I got on her about how people can misinterpret that and she said few to interpret that. She gets upset because I bring this issue to mind like a few days. However, she mentioned one time a guy assumed she leads her on. Again she makes it clear we are associates the whole time.

2nd Arc 

Next week May 5th we scheduled to watch the game of thrones at her place. I get off at 10:30 pm on a Sunday, and she doesn't work on a Sunday. I  had to buy beer again - because so she meets me at my job. it was quite odd because her excuse for coming was “she was in town and though to drop by”. Nothing wrong with that but it did lead to some speculation. My coworker Gloria kept up asking questions like “Oh did you say hi to her?” “She usually doesn't wear dresses, Kelvin, what do you think?”, “ She doesn't work today here” so yeah it was hinting she knew something. Now after my shift we went to CVS and she offered to buy me snacks and food. She asks if I was sure? Now on this day, I had a sausage, cheese & egg. So I went to her place we had to go into her room since her roommate was sleeping. So she offered popeyes which I took only a wing. I sat by her bed rather than on it because - it felt weird lol. She said I could join her bed rather than sit by it - we are coworkers bruh. She leaves out too. So after smashing like 8- 9 beers I get on her bed because my knees were killing me on that hardwood floor. She comes back like “ It’s about time” so after a while she starts to lean on me again.  So the beer takes its toll - and I start to nod off. So while watching Game of Thrones she would ask some questions. So around season 5 she stops it there - tells me to get my things. Escorts me out to the door of her complex. The original plan actually to use a spare bed but she apparently didn't want to do that. So she escorts me outside 4:00 am in the morning, it's cold as fuck in may. She couldn't stay out because is only clothed in a skimpy sundress and she's anaemic and plus she left her house keys in her house. So understandable but still no check-in. Which contradicts with her usually thing because she would always see if I got home. I got home around 6 am had like only 4 hours of sleep and had to go to work lol- I had a slight headache but I was good. I texted her to see if she was okay, said she was fine and that I was doing too much. I just added that hey you were right that I should have eaten something. Now this issue sparks something on her end, this literally causes her to snap off and she literally bans me from coming to her house. 

After dropping her shoes off that she sent to my location because she lives in an apartment complex. we go to the gym together because of her social anxiety, now the fun part is after the gym. I found out apparently I had spilt beer on her carpet and pissed over her toilet while drunk, to be fair her bathroom is really dark. The only light is a night light behind you when you use the toilet. She had an emotional connection with that carpet so I sympathized with it and made to right my wrongs. So she asked only for three meals and me to go to the gym with her for a week. I decided a month because I felt bad about the situation. we agreed on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, Friday. Wednesday and Thursday are my days off.

3rd Arc

So off to the gym, some days she goes - some she doesn't - but either way I got continuously. Knowing discipline is necessary for progress. But usually, she is very inconsistent. So one week on Saturday she isn't going-  rather than going I just leave it be. She's being too indecisive about the matter. I tell her to just tell me when she would be going and went home.  So Tuesday comes up and she comes to work. She follows her usual routine; what's for lunch and etc? she comes up to check up on me and etc. But I wait until her shift after 12:30, now after that - my coworker comes up to ask “” Arent you going to the gym”. her reply, however, was “ No, I didn't do any laundry today. So I don't have any clean clothes to go with” That would’ve been news to tell me.  So she leaves without telling me the matter - and leaves me hanging there. Wednesday and Thursday im off, and not once did it cross her mind. To make amends, so I actually have to reach out and confront her on the issues. She owned up to it but said her new meds for her depression. I understood in that second but for that whole three days? I felt that was really considerate tbh. I stopped doing favours because that was massive and just focused on me tbh. That was a huge disrespect to me and my time. So around June, I brought up the issue again to make sure we were clear and realised I had backtracked on it based on her logic on of the issue. 

4th Arc

After a while, I agreed to invite her out to the movies. Went to see spider-man: Far away from home, I bought the tickets. We went over the seats and I set the time. So on the fourth, I reach the train station to meet her around 10:00 am, the movie starts at 12:45.  She literally tells me to meet her at the theatre though we agreed to the train station, because of its fucking raining. Now the forecast said it would rain - but she chose to dress for the heat tbh. So I let it go and get a ride to the theatre and get there. We are early like its 11:45 pm so we decide to go to Starbucks. So she pulls me aside and asks if she can send lingerie and stuff to my house somewhat nervously (think of a typical anime girl who is fidgetting her fingers nervously) - because it's for when she goes to the gym. Still, quite an odd favour but i accept it. So after the movies, it starts to rain, so I got to CVS and buy an umbrella. Because she's wearing a sundress and if she got any wetter it is porn show. So off we go to across town to the Vape shop because the vape she has, has been burning her throat. So at the shop, the lady shows us how it works and after that she needs ID. She doesn't have ID....still so I had to literally use my ID. After a while, we go eat, and meet her roommate at the firework place. She arm links up with him and tries to get me to join - I literally shoot her down like “Nah im good”. So the roommate introduces us to his friends at her house - and off we go to park. Im literally lacking behind and she comes and checks up behind me multiple times. I state that im okay until we get to the park. Now at the park it's fine until it starts to rain, being the only practical person with common sense - hold up a single umbrella for five people. After 20 minutes of holding this damn thing up, I pass it off before she starts asking me if I want to watch Netflix. I say no, and then I went on my phone to text my friend for a while. Again she asks it before not too long she is leaning my whole thigh with the phone on it.  Like you would with a couch armchair. This was no way platonic. After she leaning back on my chest with her back while we watch Netflix and stuff. Im like....you have your roommate there fam why not do this with him lol. After the fireworks, we leave but the large crowds cause her anxiety; she clings to my arm and literally is like “sorry for invading her personal space” ... it's a little too late for all that :T. We head  to safeway , use the bathroom and head home.

5th Arc

We were supposed to go to Otakon together - because she invited me out to the invite. So I told Mike, a coworker of mine, I and she are supposed to be going. The whole week is excited about Otakon and stuff - and Saturday tells me “whenever she gets up she’ll let me know when she goes down to the convention centre”. I’m like.... what kind of rude shit is that? but I let it be it is what it is. So Friday comes up I call mike, he is down there and I meet him there. He tells me to call her to figure where she is - because she told him she’d be here 3-4. I called her and phone rings twice before going to voicemail. So she tells me “Oh im just got sick. Just my luck!” now I know this feels like bullshit really. You were super excited about this event - and Mike told me she looked healthy yesterday - again not making any sense really. So rather than just telling me you aren't going to show up at all. And she scheduled this event the whole time tbh.  

[billvsamerica]

Sin City

We’ve all noticed the lingering stare of a pervert.

On the high street when you’re shopping for Christmas presents or in the cinema when you’re watching the late night showing of Toy Story on your own again. But imagine you’re in a city full of them. Tight polyester trousers with flared bottoms, beer bellys flowing over the top of cheap plastic belts, topped off with a nice scruffy pair of Reeboks from the late 90s. But enough about my dad, this is the story of our latest adventure west.

A savory couple in a far from savory place

I always thought Vegas was a debauched place. That’s where it gets the nickname - Naughty Little Town for Naughty People. Prostitution and weed are both legal, but somehow in a much less savoury way than Amsterdam. With all that being said, we could never have known that the most morally reprehensible act we would witness would take place on the connecting flight from Chicago to Vegas.

Some of the most exciting parts of a holiday go on in the walkway of the airplane. Thoughts flood your mind: ‘Where will we be sitting?’ ‘What are my chances of survival if this thing goes down?’ ‘Who will the “third” person be?’ ‘Hopefully, there isn’t a “third” person!’ ‘Oh God, this things coming down, I’ve had a premonition. I need to warn everybody else on board.’ ‘No, don’t ruin it. It’s fine. You’re being stupid.’ ‘Oh, Jesus Christ! I just signed our death warrant.’ ‘I wonder if they have a TV?!’ etc.

Shelby and I took our spots next to the "third" person in the window seat, who we immediately disliked just for existing in a space near us, and opened our books: Shelby was reading an interesting book about the Appalachian area of America and taking on a challenging Sudoku puzzle. I was reading a different kind of book, still just as challenging though, the instructions on how to work the TV.

After the internal struggle of whether it’s okay to ignore the air stewardesses safety announcements, the passengers settled into the flight. The aircraft was not quite Wright Brothers old, but it was missing the mod cons of a transatlantic flight, like being able to choose an individual movie. However, it did have DirectTV channels. Shelby and I stuck on the Oscar nominated Can You Ever Forgive Me?.

I glanced over at the "third" person's film choice. I couldn't recognise the show, but the vibrant colours and teenage actors led me to believe it was some sort of kid's show. I looked at the man. No, it wasn't a large child traveling alone. It was definitely a man - a man wearing a tight t shirt that accentuated his man breast. I poked Shelby, she grunted her usual response:

"What the fuck do you want, fuckwit?"

She said, in a loving way though.

“What show is that?”

She glanced across at his screen.

"i-Carly"

"No, you Shelby. Now, what show is that?"

"It's called i-Carly. Now will you shut the fuck up?"

Bit weird.  Maybe he just put it on by mistake. Probably not watching it.

Fast forward three hours, I-Carly is still on his TV. And the man is inches from the screen. I looked at him intently. Does he not know we can see him? He's not in some sort of invisible perv’ chamber, although I'm sure those exist somewhere in Vegas.

I looked down to make sure nothing dodgy is...  Unfortunately, the man was definitely touching himself. Now, I'll give him a bit of credit. His hand was outside the trousers, but that only made it slightly better. Suddenly, it dawned on me - Shelby was in the middle. I wasn’t worried about her, per say. He was clearly into much younger people, but she might accidentally be hit with his flailing elbow or something. She looked across at him then up and me and mouthed,

"What do we do?"

For the last thirty minutes I tried my hardest to put the man off. I gazed out the window and loudly said a range of off-putting phrases:

"Wow! Look at that skyline," "Can't believe we're flying in the sky right now!" "Do you know why they stopped serving peanuts on flights? What about the people allergic to pretzels? Nobody ever thought of them!"

If that lot didn’t put him off, nothing would.

As we walked from the airplane into Vegas airport, we discussed what we should do. I was going to confront him, and say what? Don't do that sort of thing, you sick freak. I was going to grab him by the scruff of the neck, shake him and say,

“That's digusting, you sweaty little cretin!”

I was going to be the hero and stop all bad things happening forever everywhere... I... I... I picked up our bags and we got in a cab to Caesar’s Palace.

The taxi from the airport into Vegas took us adjacent to the strip. Huge replica buildings designed to look like other things. It’s all smoke and mirrors, a mirage in the middle of the dessert like the magic shows that run every night of the week. After taking a detour we didn’t ask for and racking up a huge bill, we arrived at Caesar’s Palace.

Anybody fancy a crap? (That’s not my dad, but a man in a shirt)

We walked through the modern building designed to look like the Colosseum - a gaudy Rome rip off - and bumped into our own ancient relics in the form of my parents. We hugged. They were here again, but their bags weren’t.

That night, we had a quick go on the slot machines, or as cool locals call them, ‘the slotties’ (and lost a bit of money). My dad became slightly enamoured with the virtual blackjack game, and then we all headed to bed to recuperate for the next day. The city may never sleep, but we were certainly going to.

The next morning, we looked out through our curtains at the view of the famous Belagio Hotel’s dancing fountain show, the Eiffel Tower, and a giant poster of Donnie Osmond. We had a fat breakfast, then walked down the strip.

Along the way, we ducked into a casino for a cheeky lil dabble. Dad spotted the virtual blackjack, and I saw his eyes light up. He was straight on it. We watched eagerly with anticipation as he turned his $20 into $5 and then into $25 and then into $15 and then he cashed out. With his cashed out voucher, I jumped onto a huge slot machine that I had no idea as to the workings. I hit a few buttons, and it flashed on the screen “Extreme!”. The lights started strobing and the lines span like the slick tires on a Ford Escort. My cash started building along with my adrenalin..  15-20-25... It kept going up and up and stopped, eventually, at $85. I took the money out and left the casino $85 richer because I didn’t give my dad his investment back.

What a start! Maybe I was a natural. Next stop, World Poker Tournament, but first, the off license for a can of beer that I could legally drink on the high street. It was like being back in Worcester on a Tuesday morning, I mean Wednesday afternoon, I mean Saturday evening.

The strip was packed with hen-dos, lad’s holidays, and waddling families who wanted a change from Disney. Me and my dad walked passed a man selling his hip-hop CD. I declined.

“Forget you then in your Bill Cosby sweater,” he said and laughed.

This drove me to grab another beer from a CVS. Inside, the cashier said,

“What a lovely sweater!”

Me and dad-livin’ it large Vegas

As you can imagine, I had very mixed emotions on the jumper and have not worn it since.

Shelby and mom stormed ahead up the strip, leaving me and dad to be awkwardly approached by dancing girls requesting a photo with us. It’s as if we looked like a couple of creepy blokes or something. We walked next to a bar where a man was strapped to a wooden chair and being forced to drink a strange green liquid by a woman in her underwear. Normally, this might be cause for alerting the authorities, but not in Vegas.

A group on a stag do walked passed us and my dad turned to me,

“Did you see that shirt? I need to get one of those!”

I had to tell him that it said “VAGITARIAN” not “VEGETARIAN”.  He didn’t want one anymore.

After walking the equivalent of a half marathon up and down the strip, Shelby wanted us to recuperate at one of the West’s staple restaurants, In and Out Burger - a place known for juicy hamburgers. We’d heard that they also had veggie burgers for the three of us who don’t eat the carcasses of dead animals.

Our number came up and we sat down at a table that had just been vacated. The remnants of ravenous tub tubs lay around and an In and Out employee was kind enough to offer to clean it up for us. She picked up a tray with the remains of a sweaty burger on it. In slow motion, the burger, wrapper, and discarded sauce tumbled off the tray and down, down, down, onto my dad’s cream trousers, the only pair he had as his bag was currently somewhere in Uzbekistan.

Turned a corner in Nevada to see the New York Skyline (and a rollercoaster)

This hilarious event only slightly made up for the fact that the veggie burger was two pieces of lettuce and a tomato between a couple of soggy bits of bun. As the name suggests, we were in and out of there real quick.

The next day we went to Fremont Street, the second most famous street in Vegas after the strip. A biting wind whipped through the dimly lit passageway lined with souvenir stores, Irish bars and strip clubs. Grubby looking men stood along the street staring wildly at the tourists passing by. They held cardboard signs that read quite witty things like “I’ll look after your wife while you gamble” and some less witty - “Horny!”.

A woman danced on a huge stage with barely any clothes on while a bunch of homeless people rocked back and forwards in front of her, totally unaware, it seemed, that she was there. An abandoned car with red flashing lights moaned and groaned as a zombie popped out the top. In fairness, it was advertising a local Walking Dead Exhibit, but I wouldn’t have been that surprised if it was actually happening on this street.

Having survived Fremont Street, I decided another dabble was in order (I was continually having these dabbles the whole time, but I’m only going to tell you about the times I won). I selected my machine, one without a chair that looked very old, and put in my note. The machine started to freak out and I knew I was onto another winner - $160 coughed up this time. I was a genius. A genius I tell you and definitely did not spend all that money very quickly in other machines. Ahem.

Join me next time as I recount the next stage of the adventure, our journey to the grandest canyon of them all and beyond to the red rocks of Sedona, Arizona.

[shikihana]

The Sengoku Warlords in High School

This started out as I was trying to apply popular high school shoujo manga tropes to the guys, but I realized that they already are stereotypical tropes, so I ended up just letting my imagination run wild with them in a Japanese high school.

Nobunaga: Everyone in school knows him. He’s only a second year student but he is already student body president. He skipped becoming class representative and didn’t even campaign. He announced he was running, and everyone else dropped from the race. Not only that, they helped get him elected. It wasn’t like he intimidated them or seduced them or anything, but they all know he would win, and that he is the best guy for the job. Doesn’t have a favorite subject because he’s good at everything. His fans are avid, but they are the type that agree he is strictly for public admiration.

Masamune: Second year student. He would be the wild bad boy type that attracts many girls. So many girls. He enjoys his popularity, but does not exploit it. Except that it helps with his family business, which is a traditional Japanese confectionery store near school. He’s very passionate about food. He is head of the Home Economics club, where there’s one first-year who tries really hard and, though he wouldn’t admit, that kid is definitely his favorite member. Additionally, he is in the Astronomy club and is secretly obsessed with the moon. His favorite subject is Japanese.

Yukimura: Same class as Masamune. Obviously a student athlete. Captain of the football team (Neymar is his idol, and he wouldn’t shut up about that one time he met Hidetoshi Nakata on the street). Pitcher on the baseball team (he talks excitedly about his Koushien dream to anyone who would lend him an ear; “I want to go to Koushien, but it HAS TO be the summer Koushien!”). As a result, his club activities make him not that good at school work. Favorite subject is positively PE. He grew up with Masamune and they are neighbors, so they walk to school together. One in five girls who greet Masamune also blushingly says “hi” to him, to which he grins and greets them back. Masamune often jokes about him stealing members of the One-Eyed Fanclub.

Ieyasu: He’s the typical quiet, serious first year student. He goes to cram school because he wants to attend Tokyo University after high school. He has his whole life mapped out, and he loathes any distraction from that plan. Spends a lot of his time in the library because he does not “enjoy the company of others,” but he finds that the library isn’t always a foolproof way of avoiding annoyances. He joined the student council as secretary because (1) he wanted to be able to learn more from “Oda-senpai,” and (2) it would look good on his CV. His sports club of choice is Archery/Kyudo, and his best subjects are English and Chemistry.

Hideyoshi: Third year student who does not want to graduate because he is. Just. Too. Worried. About his underclassmen. ALL of them. He loves helping the teachers with errands and being there for his fellow schoolmates, so clearly he has to work in student council. At first he didn’t like being subordinate to someone younger than him, but the more he got to know Nobunaga, the more he approved of the kid. He’s in the Kendo club. All the first-years and second-years come up to him, calling him “senpai” and asking for help or advice.  His classmates and those in the same grade also started calling him “Senpai” as a joke, which stuck and became his petname. He loves it.

Kenshin: Third year student. Everyone at school knows his family is yakuza, because in his first year, someone leaked a photo of the nukibori (background-less) tattoo on his back of an ascending dragon. He is avoided out of reputation, rather than something he has actually done. Though his demeanor doesn’t help. Rumor has it that when someone accidentally crashed into Kenshin in the hallway, he grabbed their collar, stared at them so menacingly while muttering a threat and the poor kid started crying on the spot. Naturally, he is a loner. For an unknown reason, he’s never missed a day of school since kindergarten, so he doesn’t qualify as a delinquent. He could be really good at school, but he doesn’t care enough to try. And unsurprisingly, he’s not in any club either.

Mitsunari: First year student. He’s the friendly, air-headed kid with a refreshing smile that everyone loves to dote on. He helps out at the school’s library. He’s good at Social Studies. He joined the Home Economics club, if only because he loves baking, but he is clumsy as hell. For some miraculous reason, his baking results usually end up passably edible (edible is a far cry from palatable and is a whole abyss away from tasty); and he, the proud, innocent child that he is, would go around handing the treats to anyone he sees. No one has the heart to throw them away, except for that kid in the library who either refused the treat or took one bite and spit it out immediately.

Mitsuhide: He’s Hideyoshi classmate. He knows everyone in school: names, birthdates, bloodtypes, etc., the whole shebang. He keeps the information in his database, which he disguised as his electronic dictionary. What is it for, you ask? “If an accident happens to someone, I could provide EMT with necessary information to save their life,” he said, smirking mischievously. It’s probably for blackmailing. He seems to be the only one in school who has somewhat of an actual relationship with Kenshin. From everyone’s standpoint, they are on amicable terms. He frequently skips class but always manages to pass tests with high scores. Teachers can’t stand him, but let it go because chances are: he’s got something on them, too.

Shingen: That popular, young, handsome teacher that all the female students love to hang around and daydream about. He probably smokes, but not around students. When they go on field trips, the girls cannot help but squeal at him in casual clothes. He’d be teaching something like English or Math. He’s an easy grader, and he knows how to get the students engaged, so they all like his class. He is the adviser of the Astronomy club, and enjoys moon viewing on the school’s rooftop with Masamune every now and again.

Sasuke: He is very evidently the nerd of the first year, if not the whole school. He enjoys gaming and manga, but because he is a bit of an animation snob, he isn’t particularly fond of mass produced serialized anime. He keeps his hobbies to himself, not wanting to be labeled an otaku. He takes Arts as an elective and it’s his favorite class, for obvious reasons. It may come as a surprise to some, but Sasuke actually has a lot of friends. Despite not being the most animated or upbeat person, he’s a good conversationalist; because he knows a little bit about almost every topic, he can always join or add to any given discussion. If he does any sports at all, he would practice martial arts, such as Judo or Aikido.

Kennyo: Another one who isn’t a student. He would be the eccentric, strict, frowny faced teacher that the students badmouth and/or try to avoid. He has one Akita, three cats, two chatty budgies, a foul-mouthed cockatiel which he adopted, a baby water dragon (an iguana species, not a real dragon), a tortoise he inherited from his father that’s probably older than him, and a corn snake. His subject would be Chemistry. He’s constantly seen in his lab coat, and maybe goggles on his head, too. The story goes that the scar on his face was caused by an accidental explosion in the lab. He refrains from socializing with the staff and students, but Shingen wouldn’t have any of it and would drag him to have a drink whenever he can.

And these people are only connected because one day they came together and created a High School Host Club. Then a new transfer student accidentally broke an expensive vase and had to join to repay his (her?) debt.

If anyone here isn’t familiar with Japanese school system, high school has three grades, first year is the equivalence of a US high school sophomore, and so on. Also, Kenshin’s tattoo is a hundred percent inspired by Kiryu from Yakuza the game (by SEGA), if you were wondering.

[thatonelucky]

You’re Not Going Crazy

Bit of a dark one here to act more as awareness. I’ve seen too many depictions of emotional abuse in relationships and I wanted to try and get that point across in a fic. I tried not to go into too much detail but if you are triggered by emotional abuse please do not read. Reliving it isn’t worth the heartache

Read on A03

Summary : Betty Cooper was a shy girl with a rocky reputation. Being on the South Side was tough, no male was interested in you unless your shirt was cut low and your jeans were skin tight. Betty preferred pastel skirts and leather jackets to cover herself up. Only making her more victim to the torturous game that North Sider, Chuck Clayton, forced her to play.A few diary enteries of psychological abuse, heartbreak and overcoming the sensation of a downward spiral.

The First Deprecation

               I like to imagine how it would feel; I often sleep on the thought of how life would be if he saw me the way I saw him. To me, he is more than a person but less than a love, He is the midpoint between infatuation and passion that I just can’t get over. He is the light in a bad situation. He is the burning flame atop the candle. He is the pearl shining from the bottom of the ocean.

               But worst of all, he is the migraine that won’t go away. He is the smoke that fills my lungs and leaves me breathless, needing more. He is the sickness plaguing my thoughts. He is the intense swirl of thoughts bombarding my brain and making me dizzy with fear.          

               When I close my eyes my brain runs wild, creating more hope and want in my heart which ends up being deflated by reality. I usually imagine how it would feel to fall asleep next to him and to have him in my arms. But I most like to imagine being able to call him in the middle of the night and talk to him until the early hours of the morning. Or being able to watch movies together and eat ice cream at 4am.

               But when reality does come fighting back I become completely aware that none of this would ever happen. At least, not for us.

               Everyone has someone that they can’t get away from. He is mine but I am not his. He closes his eyes to see a different person and that’s okay. I can’t force someone to love me. I can’t force someone to accept me. Everyone has someone and one day I will have a new someone; so will he. But it is never going to be each other.

               Maybe writing this down and getting most of my feelings down will create an outlet for me to close my eyes and not see him anymore. Maybe it will make my chest ache less when he ignores me for days and comes back like it’s all okay. Maybe I’ll trust him again because he will never get close enough to hurt me again. Maybe I’ll fail and end up in the same position.

               All I can do now is keep my distance and not let him get to me. Because I should never let someone make me unhappy. Especially if it’s something they cannot help. I can’t make him want to be around me or start conversations with me. It’s best if I stay away as much as possible.

The Endless Complaints and Threats

From time to time I still wonder why I’m around you. I’ve spent so long wondering if you even wanted me here and that isn’t right. I should know if you want me or if I get boring; if someone better came along.  I felt like you were all that I had and I sacrificed so much just to be with you. You say that you want to be with me and that I’m still your number 1 but I barely see you anymore and when I do you have to leave to go someplace else with her.

               I’ve spent so long wondering why I was never good enough for you and then I realised, I never will be. Someone else is always going to be better. I shouldn’t feel like me messaging you is hassling you. Everything I do, I do to make you happy. I’ve spent years infatuated with you yet you’ve probably spent years infatuated with someone else. I feel like I’m wasting my time and energy on someone who will never feel the same way I do. I’m always the one who cares more.

               Last night was the first time you’ve threatened physical abuse. I’d never gotten on my knees and begged any faster. I don’t want you to hate me; I love you.

The Refusal of a Rope    

He doesn’t know how to help me because, simply, he doesn’t know me.  I slave myself almost every day in trying to understand how he feels, how he reacts and what makes him tick. But he only analyses when I’m happy or excited. He never bothers in identifying my sadness or my upset. This is because he doesn’t care. However, when it comes to her; the story changes for him because, as if by some cruel act of God, he cares.

I cried to him; he lied to me. As if some cruel chain of events looping infinitely, he just kept lying. Anything and everything wasn’t good enough. I’m too clingy yet I ignore him too often. I invade his personal space yet not hugging him makes him angry. I can’t have other friends but if I don’t speak to anyone I’m trying to steal his friends. I love him and he doesn’t love me.

He will never miss me.

 The First Goodbye of Four

               Now it’s over and I know how much he lied, I despise him. I never want to see him again. I wish I never went back. He was the biggest mistake of my life. I want to get back to the point where I forgot his middle name and the things he used to say.

After the Fourth 2nd Chance

               I’m angry. I’m so angry that it’s getting to the point where explaining how angry I am just doesn’t seem to do it justice. Every time I see his face my blood boils; I get so bitter and full of hatred that it consumes me. I’ve never felt so much hate for one boy in my entire life. He is the worst person I’ve ever met or had interactions with. I’m feeling the sense of not even being able to string together words to express how I feel about him. But I’m trying and although it may be short, I feel like it’ll get a lot off of my chest. One thing I don’t say is that I’m sad.

               I’m sad because I loved him with all of my heart and he left me like I was nothing. I’m sad because I trusted him when he lied and believed every word he said. I’m sad because when he told me that he loved me, I sat back and believed it because for some damn reason I believed that he could ever love. I’m sad because even ever everything that happened he never once thought of how it’d make me feel or how he makes me feel. I’m sad because as soon as I was out of the picture, I got replaced almost instantly. I’m sad because I realised that I wasn’t anything to him, Not anything at all. The saddest part is that a piece of me still loves him because he was so much more to me than love. He was everything to me and knowing he doesn’t care for that just breaks my heart every single time.

               I can’t even look at him or have anyone say his name because I get so sad and angry at the same time and all the good memories flood back in; leaving me choking for air. All I wish is that I could go back to those times and stay there forever but it all has me wondering was it ever real? Did he ever love me? Did he ever even like me?

               To make matters worse, I don’t have closure. I’ve been waiting on the final fight and on the last words but I feel like I’m never going to get it and that haunts me. I don’t miss his lies. I don’t miss his manipulation. I don’t miss his using of me. For some reason, all I seem to be waiting on is for him to bring up one more thing that I’ve done wrong so I can finally fight back.

The Healing

               It’s been two years since you broke my heart. I hated you so much and I still do. The burning desire to show you how much I was hurting. I used to relish nothing more than the thought of you seeing me happy and crawling back. This eventually did happen.

               Jughead Jones walked into my life and waited patiently. He didn’t force his way in and treat it as if I purposely locked the doors. He waited until I could unlock the door myself which was a while. He wanted to wait because he wanted to make me comfortable.

               Having gone from toxicity to floral bouquets and late night calling, I finally found someone who could really love me for me. No ulterior motives or gains in any selfless act he does is a huge difference in comparison to before. It wasn’t easy for me.

               I can look back now and see that I was in a toxic relationship but in the moment you have no idea because they blind you with empty promises and over used phrases. It makes you believe anything that they tell you because you trust that in the end they will still be there loving you even more than before. I couldn’t write enough CV’s or homework’s in the world to make him have even an ounce of compassion for me.

               Juggie is different, he sees me as more than a human encyclopaedia or a slave. He sees me as Betty Cooper. That’s all I’ve ever needed to be seen as by someone.

               I’m still struggling today, for a long while I stopped believing that love could ever be a thing. My whole heart was with someone else so how could even a percentage of it to anyone else? How could that be fair on them? I thought that all boys would want is sex and favours. That all my life I would only get treated badly.

               I was wrong because there are still some guys out there who want to take you for a meal or two before they kiss you and they want to bring you flowers to see your smile. Jughead is one of those guys.

               The only words Jughead spoke after he’d found out about Chuck were “You’re not going crazy.” And oddly, that was the most comforting thing I could’ve heard at that stage in my life. I thought that I was the problem; that I was doing something wrong. Jughead showed me that it wasn’t exactly what Chuck manipulated.

                A large portion of me still feels like everything is going to turn out wrong. I know now that it’s only what has been drilled into my head because yes, things might go wrong sometimes but if we talk it through and communicate we can make anything work. And if it goes wrong and then it goes wrong but at least I got to spend this time and keep these memories with me forever.

               A relationship isn’t lying and manipulation; it’s communication and understanding. The misbelief in this day and age is sickening. I just have to remember that whatever he said to me was wrong. I am not the crazy one.

Remember that if you would like to give me any feedback or prompts please do so! My ask box is always open 

[iluvtv]

Mom Guilt

Since today I will be tackling the taboo topics of both guilt and remorse I may as well start with my own caveat; I apologize.

I'm going to do some mom-splaining here...

Recently I watched the first ten episodes of both I'm Sorry and I Feel Bad. Both shows are Momedies and in case you hadn't noticed I am far more fluent in the more ego-centric brand of SWF Humor. No matter, intrigued by these curiously similar premises and my general obsession with female comedic powerhouses (including the women behind these titles) I assumed I had nothing to lose (ten hours on the sofa aside).

In full disclosure, while Andrea Savage's I'm Sorry wasn't exactly a show I fell for immediately, the stellar cast and the unapologetically hilarious style of Savage's parenting was enough to keep me watching. A clever choice indeed, by the final episode of Season One I felt pure sadness that I had no more episodes to watch and apologetic that I hadn't immediately understood the show's intentions. While my earliest notes state I am impressed by the cast they also indicate confusion towards the uneven tone.  Or to be as authentic as Savage my actual notations read as such:

"So many snappy quips.

Cast is epic...

Hope show gets better.

RN all just parents talking shit"

As I struggled to grasp I'm Sorry I also started dabbling with I Feel Bad. A show I found so problematic that no matter which lens I looked through I just wound up feeling... well, bad.

My ability to embrace the intentions behind I'm Sorry was aided through Savage's interview on Dax Shepard's (wonderful) podcast Armchair Expert. Her voice allowed a clear point of reference, making it much easier to deduce the ambitions behind her creative portrayal of just how humorous motherhood is. 

The feminist credo she passes to her daughter doesn't hurt the show's hilarity either. Savage's offbeat parenting hacks towards inciting female power seemingly misfire, all the while actually breeding a totally self-actualized kid who will proudly push back on the agenda. Amelia patiently explains to her mother "Ariel doesn't need a voice because she is the prettiest."

Savage makes this whole process just so darn relatable.

So, maybe I am just an ignorant audience and I still don't get I Feel Bad. Maybe a few interviews and episodes later I'll be espousing this show as the sleeper hit I knew about all along. But for now, as a woman who very much does not "have it all" I couldn't help but feel insulted by I Feel Bad's beautiful, successful protagonist, Emet. This is a mom who spends each episode lamenting her inability to "do it all" while somehow managing to round off each half hour by achieving whatever seemed implausible earlier in the day. Along the way, her funny, nuclear (though, to be fair racially diverse) family, comedically (and again, to be fair, often judgmentally) applauds her missteps.

Somehow each episode lands like a small punch in the gut. By episode six I was pretty sure I was being Sheryl Sanberg'ed all over again.

Emet's successful gaming illustration job, sweet and loving husband, goofy dad, terribly hands-on mom and mostly self-sufficient children (we hardly ever even see the baby) is all just a little much. This is a working mom that makes leaning in look suspiciously like lying down.

So, is I Feel Bad actually the minority mother's manifesto it was built as or is it just another major female guilt trip?

Admittedly here, Savage's television alter-ego which is practically exclusively based in reality is a wildly talented and beautiful comedienne, married to a successful lawyer with a cute (if sometimes obnoxiously inconvenient) daughter. In spite of this the show somehow just doesn't feel overdone. Instead, her down to earth approach to life and incessant and often deprecating commentary induce both cringing and appreciative nodding. Even I understand her plight and I am a single woman living in a one bedroom apartment writing a blog for free.

Perhaps this can be attributed to the humor. Savage's commitment to every joke intrinsically carries this series.

Once I finished listening to her and Dax chat I was entirely smitten with this woman. She sees the world through satire tinged goggles, she is attracted to banter and surrounds both her work and home life with this ethic.

Realizing the comedians on her show were mostly improvising I embraced the occasional awkwardness in tone for all it was intended to be.

It is this constantly improving unrehearsed dialogue in which, I'm Sorry thrives. The show has a fabulously charming Curb your Enthusiasm feel but I suppose I need to quantify this statement.

I understand charming to mean Judith Light telling Andrea Savage to go fuck herself during a geriatric Zumba class when Savage (the youngest person in the room by some 20-odd years) requests to turn up the A/C. Or charming like when your newly not racist four-year-old daughter runs into the "grown-up" dinner party in blackface  (the very same exclusively invited guests who just discovered you probably peed on your hands to alleviate the "jalapeno burn" you acquired whilst preparing their guacamole) only to announce that she is "Fat Albert!" Charming like when your best friend gleefully squeals, "I'm just so excited to see what you have planned next! First piss guac, then blackface. Its probably going to be something antisemitic!" Charming like 7a at the fertility clinic watching men leave the waiting room one by one to go masturbate in a cup and appreciating the experience as nothing more than amazing content."It's kind of like the reverse walk of shame," Savage announces gaining hearty laughs from the other patients and causing her husband to shrink into his chair, muttering; "please don't engage the room."

This is the kind of parenting I can comprehend.

I'm Sorry features a team already skilled at doing improvisation with one another and while it does take a bit for both viewer and actor to fully grasp the unpredictable tone of a real-life mom, it's bumps and misses are a welcome side effect of both the show and actual motherhood.

This story focus' on the perils a funny mom who writes crass humor for a living might actually have to face. Her writing partner, Kyle (Jason Mantzoukas) wonders how she can go from "blow jobs to kindergarten" and her husband teases: "Moms aren't supposed to be funny. Don't you watch TV? Get more hairy and tired."

All teasing from loved ones aside, this show works because Andrea is not actually perfect. She explains in the first episode that she is "disgusting" and later acknowledges she is on an equal playing field with a woman she once accused of being a "garbage person".  These fallacies lead to a character who is both likable and entirely relatable; I too am struggling through a semi-charmed life with plenty to apologize for.

Most notable perhaps, is the final two scenes of season one when Savage accidentally changes her email signature to her favorite (just for laughs) porn picture of a girl biting a man's dick (this is a pic she utilizes as an ongoing gag in many different facets and even unwittingly exposes her four-year-old daughter to at one point in the season). Without realizing her mistake, she shoots off an email to the elite kindergarten her daughter was just accepted to, informing them how thrilled her family is to join the school next fall. Spoiler alert, the season ends with her begging for redemption.

But that's the thing, we don't know if she'll get it and if the Dean's face is any indication Amelia's future here looks highly doubtful.

And while this is an error perhaps enhanced for the comedic effect her apology does sound genuine. She hadn't quite meant for her humor to hurt her daughter's future, an intent likely all decent mom's can relate to

Far less avant-garde, I Feel Bad follows the mainstream sitcom throughline in which conflict is presented, dealt with and solved all in the matter of one episode. Personally, I have no problem with this tactic, designed of course to give us a fresh start each week. The problem here lies with the premise of the show. How badly can you really feel about an error which only takes 28 minutes with commercials to rectify? But what really grates at me here is that our protagonist hasn't so much as fixed her problem as she's found a grovely way to make it redeeming. If anything, it's more insulting that Emet’s cute creativeness has all but rendered her infallible.

For all the enjoyment of Andrea's apology-prompting endeavors (Amelia sharing the gossip of her mother's stretched out vagina to her pre-school chums. Andrea and her mother commiserating about being stuck in successful marriages all the while knowing they'd be at their very best as sexy widows), Emet’s missteps just prompt angst. She left me wondering if I was somehow failing at life. Why wasn't own annoying TV family rallying around my picturesque existence, rooting for me as I lamented my imperfections?

Case in point: during I Feel Bad's holiday episode Emet allegedly feels bad because her kids don't know about their own culture.

I say allegedly here because in actuality she displays zero remorse for her kids' minimal grasp on both Judaism and Hinduism. What Emet actually seems concerned with (as is true in almost every episode) is not her children's well-being but rather how she comes across to the world. In this particular episode, the person she is most concerned with impressing is her Mother in Law. She does this by hiding her own mother inside a Casino.

In some sort of off-beat coup Emet pays the Indian side of her family to silence through Paula Abdul tickets and a $300 credit card charge at CVS ("just imagine how long that receipt is?!" her husband laments)  and while admittedly this is a good hush approach if you ever are interested in buying my silence it's also kind of a not-so-cute, dare I say asshole move to try to embrace one culture by buying off another (sounds like some kind of ass-backward deal #45 might brag about).

All this is of little concern to Emet and her husband though. Instead, the mezuzah on the door, the brisket on the table and expensive Hannukah decorations in the yard are effective enough, causing one Grandma to swoon while the other returns with a carefully calculated revenge approach aimed at convincing her grandchildren (those kids we allegedly are all so worried about being culturally out of touch) that Diwali is the cooler holiday.

Shenanigans ensue.

The pageantry culminates in a backyard, multi-generational family paint war. Of course, everyone winds up laughing and bonding about Emet’s lies and oddly accept equal blame for her dishonesty, each adult copping to their own inability to raise a future generation to be more woke.

Now everyone is happy, they have created new (and obviously better) traditions and all the while the stereotypical old Jewish couple visiting Emet’s inlaws remain indoors blissfully unaware o the commotion, chatting amongst themselves about what a good brisket "the Indian woman has prepared."

And scene.

Did Emet really ever feel bad that her kids are cultural ignoramus'?

Absolutely not.

Can everyone get behind her scheming, lying and flagrant consumeristic overspending because she said she did? Absolutely.

And her family is colorful and happy. Problem solved, yay!

How bizarre.

I may live 1,000 lives and I will never get away with holiday mischief like this.

I'm Sorry but I can't help but Feel Bad.

And so I suppose now is the time to reflect on the actual difference between the two phrases from which each show hails its title.

Similar, sure but fundamentally, "I feel bad" and "I'm sorry" (not the television shows per se, though it does pertain here)  the actual implications behind these phrases are very, very different. If someone feels bad they crashed your car that somehow has an entirely different ring to it than they're sorry they crashed your car.

Karen R. Koenig a licensed psychotherapist I found online (the best place for psychobabble) explains the phenomenon as such:

“I’m sorry,” usually indicates that people feel regret or remorse for having caused pain: they wish they hadn’t done what they did...This mindset is different from someone feeling guilty. That is, people can feel momentarily badly that they did something wrong, but not regret it. The guilt comes from recognizing that what they did was wrong, but not from actually feeling sorry that it happened. Guilt often arises only because someone gets caught. My take is that most of the time, abusers experience momentary guilt, but little more."

If this doesn't prove I Feel Bad is just the gentle sit-com equivalent of gaslighting I'm not sure what does? I get enough of that noise when I read the news, thank you very much.

[otome-no-uta]

Paradise O’ Whisper Vol.6 {Roux}

パラダイスo’ウィスパー Vol.6 ルゥ Paradise o'Whisper vol 6 

CV: Hirakawa Daisuke

Mune-kyun level: 4/5 (The comeback was great.)

R-18?: Nope

Craziness level: 0/5 (This is just a normal school life drama so.)

Dummy head mic used?: Yes

(Spoilers ahead~ writing this volume first, may write on the rest!!)

-The first track is the depiction of your current relationship with Roux, what happens in the drama CD is a flashback of what went on between you two. Same goes for the rest of the CDs in this series-

Plot Summary: The setting in this entire series is that you joined the current school you are in by mistake. The current school you’re in is one for idols or people who are aiming to enter the entertainment/arts industry. 

Roux spots you carrying a load of books and he goes to you, wanting to help when you slipped and fell into a puddle of water. (Tragic.) Brings you into the special room for the Kami6 (something like the 6 Gods or some shit.) ,aka the title of all the guys in the six, and it is officially revealed that he is a playboy. Starts saying shit like he fell in love with you at first sight and all them crap, (and loads of whispers thus the title.) casually asks if you want to date him but you’re like no and he’s like okay sure I’m not giving up I’ll make you fall for me. He kisses you on the cheek and you run out of the room. His real intentions are kinda revealed, like how he thinks of you as a toy, he’s in search of something that would interest him, impact him, and that how he thought a kiss would make you fall for him. (BROTHER SHIT DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY.) 

You’re kind of being bullied because of the fact that you transferred in by accident and he starts by getting on your good side by defending you, like telling your entire class off. You gradually start falling for him until crunch time came. He brings you to the shower room (Why the hell you even following him to such a place.) and after talking, he finally throws you away, thinking that woman are always like this, just because a guy treats them nicely, they fall for him, just like the woman who threw him away aka his mother. He has a strong mother complex because his mother threw him away and left with another man. He feels disgusted whenever girls fall for him easily and treat it like a game and throw them away once they’ve completely fallen in love, exactly what’s happening to you now. 

He turns on the shower and starts throwing insults at you like how you accepted a kiss from him even though you two aren’t dating, how you would accept any man chasing after you and lastly, when he questions whether you’ve fallen in love with him, he says that he has cleared the game and bids farewell. 

After you have been thrown away, in order to prevent other girls from experiencing the same pain, you chase the girls who are with him away. Of course, he’s annoyed at you interrupting his “game”, says like how you’re doing this because you want to get his attention and basically tells you to act obedient and listen to what he says, and that’s to stop interfering with his game. Says how he turned out was because his mother kept playing around with men, to the extent that he doesn’t know who his dad is and that it’s natural for him to play around because his mother’s blood is flowing in him. (Piss off that’s a pathetic reason.) You still don’t listen, so he locks you inside I’m guessing the equipment room for you to calm yourself down, leaving you for the entire night. 

Next day, you drag him to the Kami6 room to have a small chat with him. You claim that you were completely okay with what happened the day before and that you believe he’s actually a nice guy. You say that he’s just a hurt little boy and he gets ticked off. He attempts to hurt you by sexually harassing you until his mini session was interrupted by a phone call. The police called him to tell him that his house got burnt down and that his grandfather, who’s living with him got stabbed by the culprits and is currently in the hospital. He’s all sad because he’s lonely and doesn’t want to go see his grandfather because it’s probably too late for him. You urge him to go and poor boy screams like a baby and you give him a good slap. (CLAPPING MY HANDS YAS GIRL.) You call him weak and lonely because of what happened to his mother. He gets pissed off and said that you don’t know how it feels to be thrown away, even though you got thrown away by him. You leave the room angrily, and he comments that EVEN YOU THREW HIM AWAY. (BROTHERRRRRRRR WHAT THE FUCK YOU TOLD HER TO GET LOST.) After thinking alone about his situation, he runs to the hospital to go see his grandfather. 

His grandfather survived, and all he has in his mind is the words you said to him, you calling him a weak person, thinking that only you said those things to him. He has been trying to apologise to you but you keep avoiding him, even admits how he’s pathetic for asking you leave him alone and once you do, he gets scared. (Yeah boy take that you piece of shit.)

He finally manages to catch you one day, and he became so pathetic, saying shit like “but you used to love me, you said you did, how can you throw me away like this? Give me a break…” You tackle by saying something around the corner of him asking you to leave him alone first but he’s all like oh I want you to help me with cleaning up my house because I’m bad at it. (BROTHER WHAT THE FUCK AT LEAST THINK OF A BETTER EXCUSE COME ON.) Saying that it has to be you, how he would pay you for cleaning his house and your broke ass agreed. He leaves you with his address and you ran away from him. You’re the on giving the cold shoulder now.

D-day comes, and when you come, he sounds sooo happy (sounds like a dog.) and then he brings you in and asks you to split the rubbish for him. You start your work while he works on another room. He invites you for a break where you refused and he’s all like are you still bothered about what I did to you BECAUSE I WILL APOLOGISE TO YOU FOR IT SO PLEASE. (How about a no you trash.) He tries to pull you with him but you reject him, making him all sad but nope it was because you wanted to show him something. Turns out, his grandfather was keeping the ballet shoes he used to wear when he was younger. He saw ballet as a way to see his mother when he was younger because only during his ballet lessons would his mother go and visit him. She wouldn’t praise him or anything, but just seeing her watching him made me happy. He wants to throw away the shoes now because it would only remind him of his mother and he doesn’t want to. When he leaves the room, you casually took out the shoes from the rubbish bag. 

While you two were having a break, he was just talking about how weak he was because of his mother and he played with girls to try to fill up that empty space in him, how he’s scared to have someone important to him because he doesn’t want to get thrown away by them bla bla bla. Hugs you, tells you that he wants to be with you, how he will not lie to you again, how he doesn’t want other guys to take you, but you don’t believe his words because he has lied to you so many times. He’s so desperate he’s like I’ll do anything to get your approval AND YOU TAKE OUT THE BALLET SHOES, ASKING HIM TO DO IT AGAIN. (God dammit this heroine is hella clever?!) He didn’t like it at first, but later on he’s like okay I’ll do it. He tells you to wait for him because once the time comes (after he has become a better man for you), he would confess to you again.

You help him throughout his journey of getting back to ballet and now ballet is a fun thing to him, he doesn’t relate it to his mother anymore. 

One fine day, You visit him at his ballet lesson as usual and he brings you to the spot where you two first met, the time when he confessed to you with no emotions at all. He now officially confesses to you and you accept his confession. He hugs you, says how happy he is because he finally got what he wanted for so long, he kisses you and the drama ends. The next few secret tracks are just fluffy scenes of what happens after he confesses and how you two are as a couple.

My Thoughts: Gosh this is a loooong review. 

Due to the fact that this was a 2 disc drama CD, there’s 2 hours worth of content and I tried cutting it down as much as I could already.

Alright, back to my thought. I genuinely liked this CD a lot, especially the part when he was trying to get back the heroine’s heart. A lot of the scenes then my heart squeezed so hard my chest was feeling all funny and I really like it when it happens when I’m listening to a CD because it just means that I can really feel the feelings they went through hoho. The pacing was not bad, hirarin the god of drama CDs of course doing a very good job at displaying Roux’s feelings, it really got to me THUMBS UP.

Would I Recommend?: 10/10 

Yes, I really would recommend this CD because I just find it genuinely interesting. Once you enter the second disk aka after heroine gets dumped, it’s just non-stop good quality story plot of the heroine’s fight. You also get to know more about Roux in this disc which adds on to the goodness. 

I did mention earlier that this was similar to Nia’s CD because of the front part where they cleverly lied to the girl and cheated her feelings. Nia’s one is obviously more screwed up than this so this would be more tamed for the weak hearts out there! Also throughout the front part, there were already hints of him just playing around with you so you won’t be as shook as Nia’s CD TRUST ME.

~Kimi~