#(i mean after the voice message i sent her crying my heart out idk if she had another option djhfdf)

[28cum]

.

[fakeuwus]

RECKLESS | lee heeseung

now playing ☾⋆⁺₊🎧✩°｡ reckless by madison beer

"how could you be, so reckless with my heart?"

⁺ ⋆˚ genre: idol!hee x nonidol/university student!femreader, pure angst sorry lol, established relationship

⁺ ⋆˚ warnings: cursing, lowercase intended, barely proofread, mention of i-land LOL, lots of dialouge and idk if thats even a warning but had to put it out there, use of nicknames like babe/baby, infidelity

⁺ ⋆˚ word count: ~1k

⁺ ⋆˚ message from nic: wanted to put smth out while working on my jay fic!! got inspired by this show i was watching called "the game" (dont watch it its like highkey misogynistic and a bit racist and just overall so bad 😭) i wanted to rewatch it bc i used to watch it as a kid and now i realize how bad it was skdkd. but basically the bf is a pro football player while the gf is in med school and a certain plotline in the show inspired this 😁 also this is my first writing piece so pls be nice and feedback is appreciated!

heeseung slowly opened the front door to the apartment you and him shared, trying to be as quiet as possible since you were most likely sleeping. once he made it in he tip toe'd his way to your guys' bedroom. "did you have fun tonight hee?" you asked, while sitting on the couch with nothing but the lamp on. heeseung jumps, "holy shit you scared me! baby what are you doing up? come on let's get you to bed."

he walks over and tries to give you a kiss. you turned your head down only allowing him to press it to your forehead. you were pissed. actually, you were beyond that. words could not describe what you were even feeling at the moment.

you get up from the couch and stand before him, "you didn't answer my question. did you have fun tonight hee?" heeseung is perplexed by your tone. you sounded... hurt? angry? annoyed? all of the above? he tried to proceed with caution, racking his brain of all the possibilities of why you could be acting like this.

"uh... yeah babe, i had a lot of fun tonight. sorry i stayed out so late by the way. you really didn't have to wait up for me, you're probably tired." he was hopeful this was the right answer. it's gotta be, right? all you could do was stifle a cold laugh.

why the hell were you laughing? what was so funny? heeseung can feel his heartbeat in his ears and his skin was turning hot. you had never once acted this way in all of the years you guys had been together. it may not seem like a big deal to others, but you had always been so caring and sweet towards him.

even when you guys were arguing, your soft voice never changed. this was new. this was scary. you had a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes now and it seemed like you were staring into his soul.

"yeah heeseung. it's 2 am," you say sounding almost condescending, "but no i'm not mad that you stayed out so late. i mean i WAS, but after someone sent me a little something i realized there are worse things to be mad about." suddenly your phone is shoved into heeseung's hands. his jaw dropped. no. there's no way.

"who sent you this?! wait no it doesn't matter baby you can't believe this can you?" he reaches out for you but you pull away and start walking towards the front door to gather your jacket and bag, "so you're not even going to try to deny it? huh. i guess my friends were right." it makes him sick how you seem so calm on the outside, your words and actions treating this like one big joke while he's freaking out. he'd rather you be a crying, screaming mess than whatever behavior you're exhibiting at the moment.

you turn back around to him, "you think i don’t know who you’re giggling with on the phone while i’m sitting in the room studying for hours? that i’m stupid enough to believe that you’re not making out with her in that video? that i’m blind enough to not see the heart eyes you two make at each other while in the same room?” your words drip with venom and they shoot heeseung straight in the heart.

he feels like the room is spinning and he wants to faint. he wants to go up to you and hold you and tell you that she doesn’t matter, that you’re the only important thing in his life. but that’s not what happens. heeseung is too wrapped up in the moment to admit his wrongs.

frankly, he’s disgusted with himself and at a loss for words right now. he wants to convince not only you but more importantly to himself that he didn’t do anything wrong. and so he does. what comes out of his mouth next are words he’d soon regret. “WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO YN?! i’ve been so lonely lately because you’re so wrapped up in school and she’s THERE FOR ME. she’s been there when you weren’t. i wouldn’t have made out with her if YOU were at the afterparty with ME like i asked you to! we won four fucking awards tonight and i just wanted my girlfriend there to celebrate with me.”

and just like that, you snap. the jacket and bag in your hands are now thrown to the ground and heeseung flinches. “YOU ARE SO FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE! do you hear the words that are coming out of your mouth right now?! i told you i have an exam tomorrow there was no way i was going to that damn party.”

tears are blurring your vision and your breath is becoming uneven. you don’t even recognize the man standing in front of you. “i have a life too heeseung. while you’re out chasing your dreams so am i. do you even acknowledge the sacrifices i have made for you over the past five years? tell me, was she there for you when you first became a trainee? was she crying for you every fucking episode of i-land? was she there every step of the way supporting your career?!"

heeseung doesn’t speak. he doesn’t move an inch yet his brain is moving a million miles per minute. he knows you’re right. he knows that you decline going out with your friends so you can wait for him to come home from practice. that your life only revolves around school and him. and he’s so eternally grateful for you. his heart yearns to express all the love he has for you and that he fucked up so badly. he just wants to fast forward to the part where you guys work through it and everything is okay again.

but that time is never going to come because you walk up to him with a heavy heart, placing the promise ring he gave you all those years ago in his hands.

he stares at the pretty diamond that shines in the moonlight, the only thing illuminating the darkness that’s consumed the space you both once filled with love. “i hope she was worth it,” you say as you open the door and walk out into the cold night. leaving heeseung and all of the memories of your relationship behind.

© fakeuwus 2023 do not repost, translate, or plagiarize

[slytherinshua]

Sorry I meant to reply to your last message (I have a terrible habit of being social and then go radio silent for like a week after ahaha). I listened to a few of Hyunsang's songs and oh my goodness, genuinely is he ok?? They were really good and I loved them, but all the ones I heard were so sad?? Does he need a hug?? Who do I have to beat up?

Your post about people is so true though, it's honestly so hard to make friendships (or even just be nice to some people tbh). Sometimes you just don't vibe with a person, but I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I mean irl, there is someone in my friend group who I just don't vibe with at all, but all of my friends really like him and enjoy hanging out w him. It is quite hard sometimes to be friendly ahaha (it does make me feel like a horrible person tbh, but what can you do? But I think the whole thing of how he got into our friend group is a bit strange. Without context it sounds bad, but I promise it is genuinely kinda weird lol). But definitely if you ever find that our convo is too dry or weird, don't hesitate to tell me!! I think sometimes you have to prioritise your comfort and if the other person is willing to change, then that's probably a good sign!

I hope you are doing well! (I watched another clip from a Lucy concert and got jealous of you again 😡)

lol don’t worry at all!! LMAO STOP IJBOL 😭😭😭 it’s so true whenever i listen to hyunsang im like WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS BOY?? imagine debuting with an ep titled “my poor lonely heart” AND EXPECTING PPL TO THINK UR FINE DIDJKS 😭😭 and if you watch any live performances or his covers HIS EYES LOOK SO SAD WHILE HE SINGS LIKE HE COULD CRY AT ANY MOMENT ☹️☹️☹️ so literally when he smiles I melt so much cause I’m not used to it anyway he’s so cute and I love him and his emo music and pretty voice 🥹🥹

yeah I feel it a lot lately cause I always want to be nice to everyone especially if they talk to me on my blog but if we don’t click after a bit of talking I feel awkward 😭😭😭 and they’ll keep messaging me and then idk what to do cause the conversations are literally like “hi hru” “I’m good wbu” AND THATS IT 💀💀💀 damn that must suck I’m sorry that’s a thing 😭😭 it’s even harder when it’s a friend group situation cause you can’t just stop talking to one person if they still have connections to all your other friends and you also can’t bring it up with your other friends cause they won’t see the problem :( but don’t worry our convos have been anything but dry since you first sent me an ask 🥹🥹 I love talking abt lucy or anything else with you I could do it all day lmao

I’m doing pretty good!! I have my first piano lesson in like 2 days.. I’m really nervous for it because it’s my first one in over a year since I took a break and it’s with a new teacher. I had lessons with her for a bit in 2020 but they were mostly over zoom because of covid. these ones are in person and I haven’t had in person lessons since 2019 🧍‍♀️ I also haven’t practiced piano since last year when I was taking lessons and even then I feel like I didn’t practice at all between lessons cause I was losing motivation.. so realistically I probably haven’t practiced properly and consistently for 2 years fml 😭😭 but hopefully everything will go well. I’m hoping I’ll like this teacher again I don’t really remember having an opinion on her when I had her 4 years ago, but I remember switching back to my old piano teacher who had moved to England since I was doing online lessons anyway. I’ve had her for around 6 years total so I’m very comfortable with her she’s basically made me the pianist I am today lol. but I think in person lessons would be beneficial which is why I’m trying this out instead.

I have nothing to help you about the jealousy but I did get the group photo back recently (kinda sad they didn’t give us 2 cause we did take 2 and I was so nervous when the first pic was taken that I didn’t have a pose and sangyeop was telling me that he was gonna do a flower pose and I didn’t know wtf a flower pose was until a day later when it clicked in my head LKSJSKS) but I am the one w the pink heart and yes I was RIGHT next to sangyeop and wonsang aka my bias and wrecker skdjsksk how did I survive

[rin-itoshi]

mc’s departure | obey me

summary: how the brothers would react to MC returning to the human world after a year in the devildom

contains: fluff , angst , ?!!!!&;@;&:idk

♯ LUCIFER

he’s the one to see you off, reminding you of the many things he had taught you so that you’d never forget.

his pride is much too large to admit that he will miss you to death and that he loves you dearly.

after you’re gone, he’s gone for hours at a time, holed up in his room with as much as work as he can take on.

he overworks himself with the intention of getting rid of the heavy emotion on his heart.

everything reminds you of him, even the paper clip on his desk that you had once found under his bed.

he gets easily irritable, feeling rather empty now that you’ve gone and left him alone in this now quiet house.

barely leaves his room, only works.

never cries but gets quite emotional when he finds a belonging you left behind.

♯ MAMMON

he cried every single night up until your departure but never showed you that side of him once

after you left, he cried non-stop, not caring if he looked like a cry baby in front of his brother’s who watched him with pitiful eyes.

once his eyes dried up, he soon never returned home as he partied all day and night.

he forced himself to attend parties after parties in order to forget about you.

it never works because everything reminds him of you.

sometimes he sits in his car and just stares into space, wondering what you’re doing now that you’re back on earth.

literally cannot stand the mention of you or your name or he may break down.

pretends to be okay but can’t go a day without getting upset about your absence.

money soon becomes pointless when he realizes no amount of cash will bring you back to the house of lamentation.

♯ LEVIATHAN

curled up in his bath tub and cried himself to sleep.

stopped leaving his room in general, continuously playing games all day and night.

couldn’t look at his ruri-chan figures because they somehow reminded him of you and how much you used to admire them with him.

every inch of his room has your touch on it and it makes his heart ache painfully.

struggles to attend online school but manages to make it through the day by zoning out in class.

claims he doesn’t care about a normie like you but genuinely misses you

sends you messages, forgetting you can no longer contact him without your D.D.D

writes about how much he misses you on his blog fully aware you’ll never see it.

♯ SATAN

reading. that’s all he does.

he hides in his room and reads every single book he has stacked up along his room, even rereading them if he finished everything.

uses books to get his mind off of you—or more so the lack of you.

will sometimes get excited about a stray cat he sees but stops himself when he realizes he can’t tell you because you aren’t here.

gets angry. a lot.

the smallest things set him off and he can longer feign a smile when he hears your name or anything related to you.

he misses you so much that he wants to tear out his hair and rip apart all these book page by page.

his room is in shambles and he can’t seem to think straight anymore.

♯ ASMODEUS

loses his interest in everything.

forgets his skin care routine and lets himself go without caring about it.

forces himself to go to parties and tries to sleep with someone to feel better but when it fails, he stops sleeping around in general.

like mammon, he doesn’t come home often to avoid seeing the house he had lived in with you happily.

cannot forget about you no matter what he does, and that frustrates him the most.

wishes he had done something to stop you or at least slept beside you one last time.

neglects himself for a while.

♯ BEELZEBUB

poor bby isn’t hungry for once.

can’t seem to eat now that you’re not sitting beside him, giggling about something he had said.

spends a lot of his time doing weight training and exercising to get his mind off of you.

misses all the meals you used to make on the nights you were in charge of cooking.

sometimes forgets you’re not around whenever he’s about to go downstairs to eat dinner.

clings to belphie in hopes to fill the gap in his heart.

accidentally broke down your room door in an angry fit when your absence finally set in.

♯ BELPHEGOR

either he sleeps even more or somehow gets less sleep.

no matter what, he feels sluggish and blank.

locks himself in the attic, almost as if he was never released in the first place.

even though he hated humans, your absence affected him the most after he had grown to love you as a human.

nearly went demon mode on diavolo when he found out that you were being sent back to the human world.

partially wishes he never met you but cherishes his memories with you too much to ever wish for that wholeheartedly.

sleeps in your bed often to hold onto your lingering scent that was fading quickly.

complains to beel that you were nothing but a stupid human who turns their backs on demons like them, but he never means anything he says.

“Why is it so quiet in here?” Diavolo asks as he opens the front door of the House of Lamentation with Barbatos at his side. The man’s golden eyes scanned the entry hall, noticing how it was so eerily dark and quiet that it almost felt like something out of a horror movie. It felt like no one had lived here in over two thousand years. “Hello?”

Upon receiving message from Diavolo, everyone had exited their rooms for the first time in a while, looking like they were dragged through the mud. The state they were in made Diavolo jump with surprise, shocked to find that even Lucifer looked like he was ill. “What happened to you guys?!”

“What is it that you need, Lord Diavolo?” Lucifer asked as he ran a hand through his hair to compose himself a bit in front of the red haired man. “If is nothing important, may I kindly ask you to leave and return another time?”

Diavolo sighed, shaking his head lightly as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t know what’s up with you guys, but I brought everyone’s favorite person along with me so sing your praises now!”

Mammon huffed, “If ya’ talking about that butler of yours, ain’t nobody care right now! We got bigger things to worry about!”

Barbatos simply smiled, taking no offense to the sly insult thrown his way.

Diavolo cocked a brow in confusion. “What? Of course not! It’s-“

The person stepped out from behind Diavolo, catching the attention of every single male in the room. The seven brother’s choked, staring at the one person they had longed for these past few days.

“[y/n]!” They shouted in unison, practically flying down the stairs to get to you. Mammon was the first to reach you, wrapping his arms around your entire body as he tackled you to the floor. The other brother’s climbed on top of you two, hugging you so tightly that you feared this would be where you’d die. “You’re back!”

Diavolo chuckled boisterously. “This is amusing! You lot are acting like you didn’t know they’d return today!” His laugh came to an abrupt stop when he saw the flat expressions coming from each and every brother. “Oh- Did I not inform you?”

“Obviously you didn’t.” Belphegor scoffed with a roll of the eyes, burying his face in the crook of your neck to inhale your scent. “[y/n]...”

“Ya can’t ever leave again! I’ll seriously get angry at ya if this happens again! Ya either go to the human world with me or ya don’t go at all!” Mammon snapped, cupping your cheeks while getting dangerously close to your face to yell at you.

“I’ll severely punish you if you ever leave this manor without giving me a heads up as to where you’re off to. You’re not just an exchange student anymore. You’re special.” Lucifer explained, a panicked glint in his tired eyes as he reached out to pat your head gently with his gloved hand.

Satan sighed, pressing his forehead against your back. “If you leave again, I don’t know if I’ll be able to control my emotions, so don’t leave.”

The avatar of lust whined loudly, “my beautiful self can’t handle a life without you! Don’t ever go anywhere without me again!” He clutched onto her waist tightly.

“Don’t... Don’t go anywhere.” Leviathan said with a sad frown on his lips as he held your hand, bringing it up to rest against his cheek. “It’s so empty without you.”

“Let’s eat dinner together, [y/n].” Beel suggested, his voice full of emotions as he drooled at the thought of dinner with you.

A million emotions ran through your veins as you sat there, basking in the warmth of their touch. It was overwhelming to receive so much love all at once but it was amazing.

A smile slowly crept onto your lips as you leaned into their touch, enjoying the way they clung to you as if you’d disappear any moment now. “I missed you guys, too.”

“What a lovely reunion!” Diavolo exclaimed happily, snapping a view blurry photos on his D.D.D to send to the group chat later.

After the heartfelt moment, they quickly disappeared upstairs to fix up their appearance before rushing downstairs to the kitchen where you stood. They clung to you like bugs to a light, hounding you about your sudden departure, only to find out that you had gone up there with Diavolo and Barbatos to help the man experience human world activities he had never gotten to try before. Diavolo was sure he had told them that but seeing as they were genuinely distressed, he assumed the message never reached.

Even though they were beyond pissed with Diavolo and his carelessness, they were just glad you were back. Them being here with you really was their idea of a perfect life.

a/n: UH YEA K GOODNIGHT

[apricotgojo]

hello love! I got bored and thought of this. So it’s the readers bday and they like Adrien. Adrien like the reader and marinette hates that he does. So like reader is planning on throwing a party bc it’s their birthday so marinette decided to throw a party on the same day at the same time. And since reader is kinda new, everyone decided to go to Mari’s party. So that happens, but when Adrien gets to readers party, they’ve done gone batshit crazy, like screaming, crying, smashing things, idk just losing their shit. Not like in anger, they’re just really hurt by it. No hawk moth tho😩 hawkdaddy go on vacay or sum🤺🤺 Mk sorry this is long and it’s late and I’m kiiinndaaa drunk and in da feels anyway bye bye

HELLO ANON! SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT BUT HERE IT IS! I never thought that i would have to write about mean marinette but here i am LMAO. i hope you like it bb <33

Pairing: Adrien Agreste X Reader

Warnings: Swearing. 

Tags: angst, Marinette is a bitch in this oops, alexa play pity party by melaine martinez. 

“Love, Adrien.”

“Wow, that’s really cringey Adrien.”

“Shut up plagg, I need to confess to her some way or another.”

Adrien Agreste is sprawled out on his bed and he just finished writing a birthday card for you. Yes, it was quite cheesy but he decided that today was going to be the day he confesses his feelings towards you. He’s had his eye on you ever since your first day of school and you’ve both gotten closer to each other, flirting constantly but never making a move. Needless to say, he was head over heels for you and was too much of a pussy to ever admit it. But tonight was the night.

You invited him over to your house for your birthday party along with your other classmates and he didn’t even think twice to agree – especially since his dad is at a fashion expo in Spain. All he wanted was for you to have the best birthday party you could possibly have. You really meant a lot to him.

  his thoughts disappear when all of a sudden his phone beeps.

 ‘Y/N’S PARTY WILL BE HELD AT MY PLACE SO WE CAN SURPRISE HER, DON’T MENTION ANYTHING TO HER. 7PM ! DON’T BE LATE! ~Marinette’

  ‘Sorry, can’t come tonight.’ You frowned as you stared at your phone, seeing a text from Marinette. You and her weren’t really that close to be honest but you still wished for her to come and have a good time. You sighed and plopped down on your bed. It’s your sweet 16th and you wanted it to be perfect. You hoped that enough people would show up. It was your first birthday here in Paris and although you haven’t been here for a while, you thought that you already made close connections with your classmates, especially a certain blond.

All you wanted was for him to show up mostly, maybe tonight you could make a move. Maybe tonight you could possibly hold his hand, maybe dance with him, maybe give him a kiss on his soft cheek or a small peck on the lips-

Your face heated up at that thought and a grin appeared on your face. You hugged your pillow and quietly squealed. Tonight was the night and nothing could possibly ruin it.

Or so you hoped.

 Everywhere was decorated with fairy lights, balloons and glitter. Music was already playing and there were drinks and snacks for everyone to enjoy. You were wearing the outfit you’ve been planning for ages and you were sitting down, leg bouncing as you wait for people to arrive.

Did you get the time incorrect? you did mention to everyone that you’re meeting up at 7pm. It was 7:15.

Maybe they were running late? But how could it be that all of them were running late?

You furrow your eyebrows and grab your phone. You go on Instagram to see if anyone posted anything about their whereabouts.

Kim was live.

You click on it and see him walking through a crowd of people.

“Marinette, this party is amazing!” you hear him shout.

“Thanks Kim.” You hear her say.

Your jaw drops Anger starts bubbling inside of you.

Kim turns the phone up and shows Nino on the dj stand. He waves to the camera.

“Adrien! say hi to my live.” Adrien appears next to Kim. He was caught off guard. He smiles sheepishly and waves at the camera awkwardly.

Your phone drops out of your grasp and tears start rolling down your cheeks furiously.

 Adrien was looking everywhere for you. it was already 8pm and he was wondering when you’d show up. He held your gift and note close to his chest, he wanted to personally give them to you.

“H-hey Adrien..” The voice of Marinette makes him turn around to face her.

“Marinette! Where’s the birthday girl?” He asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

Marinette stares at him for a moment and nervously chuckles. “oh- well- she uh- she can’t make it!” He shrugs and laughs again. “did you get something to drink? We have pomegranate juice, peach lemonade, spr-“

“what do you mean she can’t make it? Why the hell is the party still going?” Adrien questions, looking around in disbelief.

“Adrien i-“

“Marinette, your plan is totally working, can’t believe everyone fell for- “ Alya stops speaking when she notices that Adrien is in front of her and purses her lips.

Adrien stares at Marinette for a moment, narrowing his eyes and shaking his head. “On her own birthday? Marinette, this is so not like you.” He was disgusted by her actions.

“Adrien wait!” She calls out. “I can explain.”

“I don’t know why you did this, or what the hell is wrong with you but this was really low. I’m out of here.” He glares at her before walking away from her.

 You were out of control. You cried, you screamed, you threw everything you saw in front of your eyes until you fell on your knees, sobbing.

You couldn’t believe Marinette would do this, you couldn’t believe everyone would do this to you, especially Adrien.

You thought you’ve grown close to the people in your class but you were wrong. They didn’t show up to your birthday party, they lied to you. Your heart was broken.

You held your knees close to your chest as the music lowly played behind you. It was mostly drawn out by your sobs and sniffles.

You hear footsteps approaching you and you look up, with red puffy eyes and see a familiar blond through your blurry vision.

It was Adrien. You look away and sob even harder at the thought of him seeing you like this, with everything destroyed around you. Why did he come here? Did he want to taunt you further?

He kneels down next to you and rubs your shoulder, moving you to his chest and causing you to nuzzle your face there.

“I hate this. I hate today, I hate Marinette.” You mumble. Maybe hate was a strong word, but you didn’t care at that moment.

You look up at him. “Why did you come here Adrien? Do you want to make me feel even more embarrassed than I already am?” You croak out.

He shakes his head. “Please, I swear to you Marinette told me that your birthday party was moved to her place, she told everyone that.” He sighs and shows you his phone so you could see the message Marinette sent him.

“Fucking bitch!” You exclaim and hide your face in your hands again.

“Hey, hey. I got here as soon as I found out she was lying. All I wanted was to celebrate your birthday and make you happy” He says quietly.  “I’m so fucking sorry that this happened.” He says and rests his head against yours in a comforting manner.

You look up at him and wipe your eyes, sniffling. “Well, there’s nothing I can do now. It’s ruined.” You mumble and sigh. “I thought Marinette was my friend you know?” You mutter.

“I know.” Adrien nods and looks down. He stares at the card in his hand and bites his lip, his heart racing at the thought of giving this to you.  “Maybe this will make you feel better.” He says, a small smile twitching on his lips as he hands you the envelope.

You widen your eyes and look up at him as if hesitant to open it. You open it though and you begin to read it.

Ever since the first time I saw you, you absolutely took my breath away. Ever since the day I first saw you, I thought to myself that I have to get to know you better. I did. And that may have been one of the best decisions of my life. You have a beautiful mind, a beautiful soul and a beautiful heart. To be honest, I think I keep falling for you every day. Happy birthday Ma belle, i hope you have the best one yet.

Love, Adrien.

Tears start rolling down your cheeks again, but this time it was because of his sweet words. Your heart finally felt whole.

You look up at him with glistening eyes and give him a wobbly smile.

He smiles sheepishly at you. “Will you go on a date with me?” He asks.

You didn’t even answer, you just leaned in and placed your lips on his.

It was small, but you felt fireworks burst inside of you.

You pull away and watch him flutter his eyes at you, his cheeks glowing red.

“Does that answer your question?” You ask.

He chuckles and kisses you again.

Maybe your birthday wasn’t so bad after all.

[hangovercurse]

Missing You

Part ii of the Without You series: Y/N tries to cope with what happened between her and Colson

Colson x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, Colson being a dick (again.. sorry), and sad boi hours ft. my boi Pete

A/N: I’m so sorry. This was only supposed to be one part but it was too long for just one so... here you go. I apologize in advance.

Word Count: 1389

| i | iii | iv | v | vi |

masterlist

You leaned against the wall next to the door, not quite trusting yourself to drive yet. You sniffled as the reality of the situation set in, your mind replaying the events upstairs. You brought your hand to your mouth, trying to muffle the sobs that overtook your body.

The door next to you opened and you prepared yourself for who might come through, knowing full well that Colson would not come chasing you. Luckily, it was Pete, probably the only person on Earth that you could talk to at the moment.

He took one look at your face before pulling you into his arms, holding you as you sobbed. Your body gave out from underneath you, and he held you as the pair of you slid to the patio floor. You curled your knees to your chest, leaning into Pete.

“You don’t have to, but if you want to talk about it, I’ll listen.” Pete whispered. You simply nodded into his shoulder, trying to build up the courage to speak.

When you finally could talk your voice came out in choppy sentences interrupted with occasional sobs. “He- he said that I- that I was the reason Megan left.” You paused, sniffling. “And then he said that I- I mean…” You couldn’t bring yourself to say it, so you just let out a sob.

Pete’s hand was running through your hair, trying to bring you comfort. You slowed your breathing down and got to a point where you weren’t crying as hard. “He said I mean nothing to him.” You finally whispered. Pete almost didn’t hear it, and part of him wished he hadn’t. You sounded so broken and he didn’t know that anyone other than Colson could fix you.

“I don’t think he meant that. He’s just angry and you happened to be in a bad place at a bad time.”

“I think he did. You didn’t see him. It was almost like he was enjoying it. Like the fact that I was in pain made him happy.” You moved your arms to wrap around Pete, seeking comfort from the memories. “And he- he hurt me.” Pete tensed up and you were quick to continue, “he didn’t mean to but, he wouldn’t let go of me. No matter how much I pushed him and told him to get off of me he wouldn’t move and I was so- I was so scared.”  

More tears fell from your eyes as Pete’s grip around you tightened. “Let me take you home Y/N. I don’t think this is a good place for you to be and I don’t think you’re in any state to drive.”

You nodded as he began to stand up, pulling you with him. You wiped your tears on your sleeve, taking a deep breath in. “I’m sorry.” You whispered, looking downwards. “I shouldn’t- Colson’s your friend you should be taking care of him. It wasn’t fair of me to put all that on you. I’m sorry.”

You looked up at Pete, who had a confused expression on his face. “Y/N, you’re my friend too, okay? Colson’s being a dick right now, he doesn’t deserve people taking care of him right now. You do.” You nodded, looking back down, “And just so you know, you’re not a burden. I can see those little wheels turning in your head telling you that you are. You’re not.”

“Thanks Pete.” You mumble into his shoulder as he embraces you in a hug.

 It had been a week since your big fight with Colson and he still hadn’t reached out. No apology, no calls, not even a drunk text.

You’d decided that Colson really had meant what he said.

For the past week, you’d been a mess. You barely left your bed, much less your house. Pete stayed over the first night, afraid you would do something stupid, but you made him leave the next day. Rook and Slim both tried to come by, but you didn’t answer the door.

You hadn’t answered your phone for a week, which made you feel worse because now all your friends were worrying about you. But you couldn’t bring yourself to talk to anyone.

Surprisingly, however, you’d been sober all week. Every substance you could think of felt sacred to him. You couldn’t smoke weed because you used to smoke weed with Colson. You couldn’t drink because you used to drink with Colson. It was like everything in your life was attached to him.

In a way, it was worse than a break-up. It was worse than him rejecting you. Colson had been a part of you for so long, he was attached to every piece of you. You weren’t you without him. But now you had to figure out how to be just that.

After the seventh day, you decided you should answer your phone. At least let Pete know that you’re okay. Scrolling through the messages he’d left you over the past few days made you feel guilty. He had been really worried about you. So, you sent him a text.

I’m alive, don’t worry. Just trying to figure my shit out. Sorry for worrying you.

You sent a similar message to Rook, who had been trying to reach you all week. While you were scrolling through your messages you couldn’t help but open the last message you’d sent to Colson.

He’d had a date with Megan that night and sent you a picture of what he was wearing, asking if he looked weird. You, of course, told him no.

You look fine, loser. Have fun with Megan!

Somehow the message just made you angry. You had tried so hard to be supportive, even when it broke your heart. You were nice to her, friendly even. You would have never tried to sabotage their relationship, you’d never get between them, no matter how you felt for Colson.

You backed out of the message chain. You saw Casie’s picture below his and figured you owed it to her to text.

Hey Case. You doing ok?

The typing symbol appeared, and then her message came through.

Not really. Dad’s been really mad the past couple of days. He’s barely left his room. Where have you been?!?

You sighed, a sad smile on your face at her innocence.

Cols and I got into a fight. I don’t think I’ll be coming around for a little while, sweetheart.

Don’t worry about your dad, he’ll get better soon. Have you talked to him?

Your heart sank at the thought of not seeing Casie. She was like your own daughter, you adored her. And now you might lose her and Colson.

Not really. Idk what to say.

You thought for a moment about how to respond.

Hmm. Maybe ask him if he’s feeling better? Or smth like that.

Casie gave the thumbs up reaction and didn’t respond afterwards, so you assumed the conversation was over.

 Another week passed. You had finally been able to get some work done from home, but you still felt like shit.

Baze and Slim came by to drop off groceries much to your protest, saying they figured you hadn’t left the house and needed food. Though you hated them treating you like you were fragile, you appreciated the sentiment.

Casie never texted you back, so you assumed Colson told her not to text you or she had decided not to on her own accord. Either way the thought made you sick to your stomach.

Work was a welcome distraction from your mind. You could easily throw yourself into small projects and forget about the world for a few hours at a time. And that’s exactly what you were doing. Sitting on the couch, laptop in your lap, typing away.

Today had been a surprisingly good day. You woke up and felt a sliver of motivation, which you were currently running with. You felt like the grey cloud over your head was finally starting to go away.

You heard a sound at your front door, which made you curious and also a bit nervous. Then you heard a key turning in the keyhole, a click following the turn. You were in the middle of wondering “who the hell has a key to my house?” when the door opened, revealing a distraught 6 foot 4 blond man.

“Colson?”

[onewhodiedyoung]

I literally have no idea how tumblr functions so idk if you've ever been asked this before but... What's the first book that comes to mind when someone asks you about a book that had a huge effect on you? Like a book that holds a special place in your heart? A book you'd wish people could read and experience everything you experienced when you first read it, even if that's not 100% possible

hello, anon!! apologies but i could not possibly choose one so here are three books that fulfill your criteria:

a) (and i guess this IS the first one that came to my mind, on top of being my favorite) Fire and Hemlock by Diana Wynne Jones! it's such an underrated book but gosh, i love it to pieces!! it's very intertextual and meta on top of being simply a very heartwarming story (i will give you this wonderful quote: Granny always made Polly think of biscuits. She had a dry, shortbread sort of way to her, with a hidden taste that came out afterwards). I experienced it the way i experienced some of the ghibli movies the first time i watched them, which is ironic since Howl's the DWJ book that got its ghibli movie!

b) The Little Prince!! This one had a huge effect on me, i remember reading it when i was kid and being fascinated by everything in it! The baobabs! The roses! All those lonely planets! There is a thumb-shaped blood smear in my childhood copy someone left there after pricking their finger and i remember it SO vividly. It's also the only book that I collect copies of -- i have one for each language I speak /and/ a comic version! It was very formative for me, too -- if I have anything resembling a life philosophy, it's to be found in The Little Prince <3

c) A Tale of Two Cities... Oh man, A Tale of Two Cities. I actually don't wish that people could experience this book the way I did because my reading experience involved: crying so much I got a headache, getting a fever from Too Many Emotions, insomnia, nightmares about what I knew would come to pass in the novel, and several, increasingly unhinged voice messages sent to my friends. It's just such a flawlessly executed novel, i kinda guessed what would happen very early on, not because it was predictable, but because it was the only thing that made sense, the perfect ending, if you know what i mean, and it was crying my eyes out for 300+ pages from there... It's not even my favorite Dickens but: A dream, all a dream, that ends in nothing, and leaves the sleeper where he lay down, but I wish you to know that you inspired it. (also, my tumblr username is a line one of the characters says!)

Sorry for how long this reply is, but that's just what happens when I start talking books <3

[jamaisvuandyou]

Now or Never

Description: Based on THIS reaction, for Huening Kai. You break up with your ex when he tells you he doesn’t want to have kids, not knowing that you’re already pregnant.

Posted: 01/06/2021

WARNING: idk pregnancy?

Angst: 1,561 words

A/N: Apparently I was on hiatus. Anyway, this happened. so. 

You shook your head and shrugged. “I need time alone. I’ll call you when I’m ready to talk again.” You walked toward the door.

He caught you before you reached it. “Y/n, are you pregnant?”

You sobbed, unable to hold it in or hide it anymore.

“Y/n...tell me you’re not pregnant,” Huening Kai insisted, being far too dense.

You jerked out of his grasp, crying too much to answer.

“Oh my god,” He muttered. “But...how? We were safe. Oh my god. Tell me you didn’t cheat on me?”

The security guard in the room didn’t even move when you slapped Heuning Kai, and his manager winced but didn’t move to intervene.

“How...dare you,” You warbled out. “How dare you.”

He stared at you, wide-eyed.

And you left. You walked out the door and you walked down the street to the subway. And you cried on the subway, being comforted by a sweet halmeoni who didn’t even ask why you were crying, just if you’d be okay.

You cried as you walked to your apartment.

You cried as your phone rang with text messages and missed calls from someone who didn’t even want the child you were carrying.

You didn’t dare look at your phone until after you had showered, and eaten a well-balanced meal, and had a cup of tea that the doctor had said would help with the morning sickness.

There were about a dozen missed calls from Kai, and about thirty texts from him that you didn’t dare open yet.

But there were also two messages and a missed call from his band members.

Soobin had been the one to try and call you, because you and he talked sometimes about baking. But his text message told you that he was just calling to make sure you made it home safely and that he understood.

You quickly sent a reply to him saying you were home safely and thanking him for checking on you.

Yeonjun’s message simply said to let him know if you needed anything.

You dropped the phone when it started ringing, tears filling your eyes when you saw it was Hyuka again.

You skimmed the texts he had sent, but even if he begged you to come back, you knew that he didn’t want a child so what was the point?

But how were you going to do this alone?

Doing it alone had to be better than doing it with someone who hadn’t wanted that life in the first place.

It had to be.

He had asked you why you hadn’t just come right out and told him.

But the reason was obvious.

He didn’t want a child.

He wasn’t ready for a child.

And when you tried to leave, he said the worst thing he could have to you.

And you weren’t raising a child with someone who immediately accused you of cheating on them when they had been the light of your life.

Are you sure you’re okay? Soobin asked via text.

I don’t know that I’ll know what it’s like to be okay for a long time, Soobin. He keeps calling me. Can you get him to stop calling me? Please?

I’ll go talk to him. It might mean telling him you’re okay and that you’re talking to me?

That’s fine, just...I can’t talk to him right now.

ok, brb.

You washed your dishes while you waited, letting the soap wash away your shakiness until what you had left was anger and disappointment. You’d wanted to think it would turn out better than this, but you also knew that even when you first started dating you had known that long-term...Huening Kai just wasn’t going to work. He didn’t want kids.

And that kept you up at night. That and your tears.

Stupid tears that you wished you didn’t feel the need to shed over a guy who didn’t want to be on the same path as you.

Your child needed better.

Yeonjun texted you the next morning, as you were finishing breakfast. Soobin told me to let you know that Kai has his phone, but shouldn’t be able to unlock it because he changed the password before going to talk to him. Kai doesn’t know that I have your number, or that I’ve messaged you.

Ok. Ty for letting me know.

Did he really ask you if you cheated on him?

Yeah.

Jerk move.

You sighed and dropped onto your couch, grabbing one of your blankets and haphazardly covering yourself. You probably wouldn’t keep your breakfast down, but you wanted to rest today since yesterday had been so stressful

You frowned when Yeonjun called you.

“Hello?”

“We didn’t catch him in time, he’s on his way over. Go down to the coffee shop and get a back table, we’ll meet you there. I’m really sorry, y/n.”

“You don’t think he’ll hurt me...do you?”

“I don’t know what he’ll do right now. But you asked for space and we’re going to make sure you get that. Head to the coffee shop. Beomgyu and Taehyun are going after Kai and will try to get him to go home and we’re going to stay with you until he’s gone then maybe put you in a hotel for a few days. Just until we can guarantee he won’t show up on your doorstep.”

You quickly threw on a sweater and your shoes, grabbing your purse and laptop before rushing out the door. “I can’t...I can’t be with someone who does this.”

“I know. Do you want me to stay on the phone?”

“No. I’ll meet you at the shop.” You headed out the door, hanging up and wondering just how long you’d have to deal with this insane version of Kai.

You’d never expected him to react like this. Never.

You wanted to attribute it to shock, or a genuine desire to prove he cared.

But the texts he had sent made you extremely uneasy.

It only took Soobin and Yeonjun fifteen minutes to join you, taking the seats that would block anyone else from seeing you. They both had serious looks on their faces.

“I’m really sorry about this, y/n. About him,” Soobin said quietly after the three of you had sat in silence for a while. “It couldn’t have been easy, making the choice you did. And he’s making it harder. I wish we could make it easier for you.”

“You’re here, aren’t you?” You tried for a smile, but tears were filling your eyes again.

Yeonjun shook his head slightly. “We booked a hotel room for you. Don’t worry about the expense, order whatever room service you want. We’ve got it covered for you. Okay?”

“Thank you, but--”

“You’re welcome,” Soobin purposefully cut you off, then covered one of your hands with his. “We love Kai, but we love you too, and we can’t support his behavior.”

“When did he start getting so...possessive with you?” Yeonjun asked, looking worried, but also sort of stern.

You shook your head. “Today. Today is the first time he’s done anything crazy.”

Yeonjun nodded. “Okay. Do you want anything?” He asked, gesturing toward the counter.

You shook your head. “Orange juice?” You asked as an afterthought.

He nodded and got up, heading to the counter where their manager was waiting.

Soobin watched him walk away. “He still has my phone, but I’ll text you after I get it back. I’ll ask you about a recipe or something.”

You nodded. “I’ll pay attention.”

Both of you froze when the door opened and loud voices filled the shop.

“Kai, you can’t be here!” Beomgyu said loudly, pulling on Huening kai.

Taehyun quickly got between Kai and you. “Just leave it. Respect her wishes.”

“Please, y/n, please talk to me!”

You shook your head. “There’s nothing left to say.”

“Of course there is!”

“You can’t tell me that you want...the same things as me, so there is nothing left to say. Please...just let me go.”

“But...I love you....”

“But you don’t want this,” You argued, stepping behind Soobin. “So let me go.”

Yeonjun stepped between the two of you. “Kai. Go home.”

“Y/n, please?! I’m sorry!”

“You broke my heart and rejected our child, and all you can say is sorry?” You whispered. “It’s not enough.”

“Get him out,” Soobin told the others. “Take him home.”

Yeonjun came back and pulled you toward the back exit. “Come on. Let’s get you out of here. Let’s get you both out of here.”

You let yourself be pulled, barely snatching your laptop bag. 

He went with you back to your apartment, staying by the door while you packed a bag. And he acted as a body guard all the way to the hotel, until both of you were safe behind the door. 

You sat on the bed, everything finally catching up with you. “How did everything get so messed up?”

“I don’t know. But it will all work out.” He crouched in front of you and took your hands. “Okay? It will all work out.”

“How do you know?”

“You’re not alone in this,” He told you. “I promise. You are not alone.”

You breathed in shakily, then leaned forward and into his waiting hug as the tears overwhelmed you once more. 

[spir1tfar3r]

Be Alright

summary: Sugawara was in love with you, and you claimed to have felt the same. But that apparently wasn’t enough because it didn’t stop you from hurting him in the end. (Bye idk what my old summary was </3)

warnings: cheating, my terrible ass writing

words: 1490

sugawara x fem!reader (sorry:(( )

a/n: this is a repost from my old account

I look up from the ground to see your sad and teary eyes

“Hey Y/n! Daichi wanted to know—” Suga began, placing his keys on the counter but paused when he met your gaze. You were quietly sitting at the island inside the kitchen with tears starting to blur your vision. A part of him began to panic, wondering if he had done anything to upset you these past few days. Sure neither of you had spent much time together due to being busy with your schedules but he always made sure to leave you a message saying he loved you and if you ever needed anything to let him know. “Baby are you ok?” He asked as he took a cautious step towards the island.

You looked at your hands, trying to stop yourself from crying again and to compose your thoughts. You owed it to him to tell him what happened. It wasn’t fair to keep it a secret and the guilt was already too extreme for something that happened less than an hour ago. “I made a stupid mistake...” The way your voice shook worried him.

Before you spoke again, his eyes wandered to the couch and saw a very familiar jacket he knew all too well. A bitter laugh left him as he moved away from the island and closer to a counter. “What kind of mistake, Y/n? Because if you’re suggesting what I think you are, that isn’t a ‘mistake’. ” He tried to keep his tone stern. Trying to seem like he isn’t as affected as you both knew he really was.

“I’m sorry....” That was all you could get out, the lump in your throat preventing you from saying anything else. You closed your eyes, putting your head down, letting the tears roll down your cheeks. Suga sighed quietly, walking over and placing a kiss on the top of your head.

“Me too...” He mumbled before he walked out of the shared apartment. Leaving you sitting alone.

And my friend said “I know you love her but it’s over mate. It doesn’t matter put the phone away”

“Sugawara if you don’t put that phone down.” Daichi said, glaring at his best friend. Suga frowned, placing his phone face up on the table the two and Asahi were sitting at. It had only been a few days since the two of you had broken up and damn was it hard for him. Someone who he trusted wholeheartedly had cheated, how could he not be broken from it? The two friends had suggested going out to eat, just to distract him but by how much he was checking his phone; praying you’ll message and say this was some sort of joke, they knew it wasn’t working.

“You’re waiting for her to text you back?” Asahi asked and Daichi lightly kicked him from under the table, not wanting to make Suga talk about what happened until he’s comfortable. He nods, never taking his eyes off his phone. Daichi sighed before gently picking the electric up and turning it over so they could see the phone case that covered the device.

“I know you loved her Suga, but don’t do this to yourself. You deserve better than that.”

‘I know’ is what he thought, though his words betrayed him. “Do I?” Sugawara asked, glancing up at his friend. ‘Yes.’ He subconsciously replied to his own question. He knew he deserved better and he knew he had ever right to be mad at you. So why couldn’t he? He didn’t owe you anything right?

“Yes. You do.” Daichi and Asahi replied in unison. He fought back a smile from appearing on his face, looking away so they wouldn’t see it in case it did happen. The two shared a look, feeling better that they got him to smile, even if it wasn’t much. “Changing the subject before you get all sappy, how’s teaching going?” Daichi asked to get his dear friend’s attention back.

“It’s going well. They can be a little hard to handle at times but they’re good kids.” After his answer, the remainder of their conversations were natural and he forgot about you in that moment. The atmosphere that once felt suffocating before was slowly becoming relaxing.

So I still look back at all the messages you’d sent and I know it wasn’t right, but it was fucking with my head

A very annoyed groan left Suga’s lips as he tossed his phone further from his bed. It felt weird. He still wasn’t used to the feeling of being the only one in the bed that he once shared with you. When you had made your breakup official, deciding it would be better for the both of you, you had moved into another apartment a couple floors down from where he was situated.

He’s yet to see you in the hall. A part of him wanted too just to make sure you were doing ok. He still wanted you in his life but he was too scared to reach out. Would you be ok with still being friends? He would hope so since you had seven (7) years of friendship with him. But it wasn’t fair to force you to keep seeing him with what had happened.

‘Maybe if I give her time, she may talk to me again’ Wrong. It wasn’t going to happen. You had barely been at your apartment, opting to stay at a friends house instead. The one time you were heading home, you saw the familiar grey hair, you felt sick. Advoiding him was probably a dumb idea but you didn’t know what to do. The reason you broke up was over something you could’ve prevented. Suga did nothing to damage the trust you had with him, no no, that was you.

But nothing heals the past like time

About three (3) months after the break up, Suga had felt a bit better. So did you it seemed. You actually lived in your apartment now and always gave him a gentle smile whenever you passed each other in the hall. You two have even spoken a few times and nothing felt awkward. While a part of him was still broken, talking to you again seemed to heal some of the damage that was caused.

“Suga! Are you heading to work?” Your cheerful voice startled the male. Turning toward you, he offered a warm smile as he nodded his head.

“Yeah. I have to grade some extra papers so I figured I head in before I normally do to have more time.” He replied, opening the door and holding it for you. You passed him quickly to make sure he wasn’t holding the door for too long and looked back at him.

“Ah, I was wondering why you were leaving so early.” You admitted. He raised an eyebrow in question, wondering why you were so curious and whenever you caught that, you laughed. “I know you’re not really an early riser. I couldn’t even get you to go on a run with me so I was confused on why I ran into you this early in the morning.”

“I can get up early if I want too! I just didn’t want to go running.” He retaliated and you roll your eyes, walking with him. “Just because I asked for five more minutes doesn’t mean anything.”

“See, that’d help your case if you only asked it once. You made me wake you up two hours after my run with how many ‘five more minutes’ you had wanted.” You said, playfully smacking him on the shoulder with your own. If you two didn’t know better, it was almost like you were still dating. Conversations were so easy between the two of you now and it never really seemed any differently than before. But you both knew the truth. It wasn’t ever going to be like how it used to.

Guilt still found its way into your chest and the way his heart broke more with every time you met his gaze. It was obvious that neither of you were over this yet. Maybe with time you could go back to how things were but that wasn’t anytime soon.

As you two crossed the street next to a park, he knew you were going to head off, recognizing the familiar route you took him on before. “Alright, good luck with work.” You said with a smile and he offered one back, not nearly as forced as it used to be.

“Bye Y/n.” He whispered as you took off. He watches you for a few seconds, missing the way you would run towards him and hug him tightly when you two hadn’t seen each other in days. Missing you was going to be the hardest thing to ever get over, yet he knew that he would be alright.

Let her go, it’ll be alright

[multiyandereimagines]

Spencer Reid x Male! Yandere! Reader

so this has been requested by someone in my direct messages, (idk if you want to be anonymous but i will do that anyways lol)

request: beginning, y/n joins the BAU and falls for Spencer, blah blah blah the normal thing (lol I’m weird) but when girls flirt with him he gets pissed and kills them. Crosses their arms after as a sign of remorse. And while the BAU is looking for him, he points them in the wrong direction

After another kill, Spencer see’s him killing someone and then he starts to cry cus he feels super bad

and Spencer decides to point them in the wrong direction or sumthin and they have to stop investigating

hope you all enjoy this! ❤️

tw: murder, gore

you and spencer are in some pretty deep shit right now.

i mean you did this all for him, the least he could do would be happy that someone could love him so much to the point of murder.

well before we get ahead of ourselves let’s go back to where this all started.

it was your first day in the bau, you felt excited yet nervous, you thought everyone would hate you. especially with your sexual orientation you worry that you probably wouldn’t fit in.

when you entered the round table everyone looked up at you, you smiled at each and everyone one of them and they smiled back. “welcome agent l/n, this is the team.” hotch started introducing everyone and finally you got to learn their names, one stuck out to you though.

spencer reid.

you felt like you could just die right there looking into his eyes, his messy hair and cute button nose, what’s not to like about him?

you shook his hand, wanting to feel him, “oh i don’t do hand shakes.” god even his voice is sexy.

“oh.. my bad.” you looked down shyly as you sat next to rossi.

“alrighty, so three women have been brutally murdered at this bar, they looked like they had been endlessly tortured, no signs of sexual assault and no one saw anything.” the woman with a colorful dress said, you think her name is penelope.

“clearly he’s a sadist but he doesn’t assault his victims.” morgan said swiping through the mutilated bodies on an ipad.

“someone must have wronged him to make him do these kinds of things to women, it’s clear he hates women.” you said inspecting one of the corpse.

“maybe a sister or a past lover.” spencer then went on to rant about how ted bundy killed his victims and how some of the methods of these killings were similar, he then went on to rant about something else, you were intrigued but hotch stopped him, he blushed and looked up at you, you gave him a smile as he smiled back.

he smiled at you...

your heart felt like it was going to explode, you felt like jumping up and down and yelling at the top of your lungs “he smiled at me, he smiled at me!”

you couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the conversation, until it was time to go the jet.

~~~

you and spencer went to the bar where the murders went down, you asked the female bartender if she saw anything that may have been suspicious or felt sorta weird, she just shook her head, spencer ran up to you, “hey y/n i don’t think he killed them in this bar.. it may have been an alleyway.”

“how would you know?”

“there’s blood..”

your eyes slightly widened, “well hello there, handsome.” the female bartender looked at spencer up and down, he just blushed and looked down shyly, something in you just... snapped. you felt your whole world go down when you saw spencer smiling a little, you looked at the bartender, completely ignoring your presence and just smiled at spencer.

you grabbed his hand and walked away quickly, “okay spence show me to the alleyway.” you quickly said, not wanting to look at that bitch’s face. spencer was confused but he didn’t question it, he looked back at the bartender who was waving at him.

“oh gosh your right, there is a shit ton of blood.” you started to smell something a little funky, you walked to where the smell came from and there was another body that was coated with blood, it looked like something out of a horror movie, you tried to keep your cool, not wanting to seem weak, “spence! another body!” he ran up to you and his jaw dropped slightly at the scene.

“i’ll call hotch.”

~~~

once the day was over you sat on the comfy bed of your hotel room, your mind couldn’t stop thinking about how that bitch flirted with YOUR spencer right in front of you. your mind traveled to complete darkness, and before you knew it you walked out of your hotel room with a silver fork in your hand, you let your legs take control and you knew where you were headed.

you barged into the doors of the bar, you quickly searched for the woman and there she was, serving drinks and smiling all innocently, you scoffed, no way in hell is she innocent.

you approached her and she looked at you surprisingly, “oh hey! aren’t you that fbi dude from earlier?” you nodded, keeping a straight face, “where’s your friend?” she smirked, that’s it.

“i need your help with something, about the killer.” she beamed, “yeah anything!” you motioned for her to follow you and she told someone to cover for her, you led her to the alleyway where the same unsub kills his victims, you turned around and she looked scared, “uh, i-is that blood?” she pointed to the ground, “well yes, it might be.”

you pulled out your fork, you don’t know how you’re going to be able to kill her like this but it’s worth a try.

~~~

there she was... dead.

your fork was all crimson red and your hands were shaking, you felt like crying, how could you do something like this?

what would spencer think?

“fuck... what did i do?” you whisper yelled, your shaky hands traveled her arms, you slowly crossed her arms, guilt washed over you completely.

you slowly stood up and looked at her one last time before taking an anxiety written journey to the hotel.

~~~

“there’s been another murder at the same exact alleyway.” hotch announced, you were sweating bullets but kept your cool. “it’s a whole different m.o. it was just multiple stab wounds with a fork, our unsub does things more brutal than that.” rossi inspected the crime scene, “wait y/n that’s the bartender we talked to yesterday..” spencer looked at you in complete shock, your heart beat quickened, you felt like you were going to throw up. “t-that’s crazy...”

spencer nodded in agreement, you took a deep breath, everything is gonna be okay, you told yourself.

you and spencer told the devastating news to the bartenders sister, as you’d expect she was sobbing, “i’m very sorry for your loss.” you told her, you wanted to cry too, you really wanted to. spencer rubbed her shoulder and like that she started to calm down, “thank you, dr. reid.” she smiled at him, “no no, it’s no problem.” he looked at you and you just gave a sad smile, “i-i may need more help to uh... recover. mind if i ask you for your number, doctor?”

wait what.

you and spencer looked at each other, both of you completely taken aback.

“uh i-“

“i know some really good people that can help you out, i will give you their number instead.” you butted in, she just looked at you annoyingly, “uh.. no thanks.” she stood up and walked out. “that was uh... weird.” spencer blushed a little, you nodded, hiding your anger.

oh god.

the anger is coming back.

shit shit shit.

why now, why with a grieving family member?

i mean she did ask for your spencer’s number.

it’s a good enough reason to get rid of her.

you went to a private location and called up garcia, “what’s up, sugar?”

“hey garcia, i need you to send me an address from someone.”

“oh alright, who?”

“well you know the recent victim’s sister, she asked me for help with something and i don’t want to let her down.”

garcia gasped, “wait... does little y/n have a crush...” you almost choked on your spit, “whoa there, no way, not in a million years would i like a victims family member.”

“whatever you say lover boy, i sent you the address!”

“thanks garcia, your the best.”

~~~

here you go again, this time with a knife, you knocked on the door and the sister opened it, “oh hey, is there a problem?” why did she seem totally normal? shouldn’t she be bawling her eyes out? “uh well i wanted to talk about the numbers i told you about.” she looked bored, “oh... come in, i guess.”

you went inside, you turned around and she noticed the knife you were holding, “uh..”

and just like that you stabbed her, you wanted to stop but your mind traveled to where she asked for your lovers number, and all that anger came rushing in again.

you didn’t notice the door opening and spencer would be the one to look at the horror in front of him, “y/n?? stop! stop it!” he pulled you off of her, you turned your head to see a traumatized spencer reid, “what the- spencer? what are you doing here?” “what am i doing here?? what are YOU doing here?”

you both stood there quietly, then soft sobs came out of your lovers mouth, you looked up and saw spencer crying.

oh god, this was not what you wanted at all...

“fuck... spencer..”

you slowly approached him and hugged him, surprisingly he hugged you back, “w-what did you do...” he sobbed out.

“i’m sorry...”

“the others are gonna find out...”

“are you gonna tell them?”

“...no.”

you pulled back and looked right into his eyes, “you sure?”

“yeah i’m sure.” he sniffed, “i’ll make sure of it.”

there was silence again.

until reid spoke up.

“why did you do all this?” he wiped his tears off of his cheeks.

“i... i love you... like a lot and i don’t know if you’d like me back since i’m a guy and... i don’t know.” you buried your face in your hands, you wanted to cry, scream, destroy everything.

“y/n... this is not the way to get someone to like you-“

“I KNOW THAT! i know that.. fuck!” you cursed, a few tears threatening to spill.

“if- if it makes you feel any better... i’m bisexual...”

“fuck this isn’t the right time to come out.”

you couldn’t help but giggle, “it’s alright.”

~~~

the team tried to catch the guy who commited the two murders but no such luck, they arrested the one responsible for the 3 murders though.

you and spencer looked at each other, he smiled at you as you smiled at him back, secretly holding hands.

[imagine-lcorp]

How Could I Have Known (One Shot)

CONTENT WARNING: Death/Dying

Request

Lena and fem! reader are together but reader sees Lena clearly rather enjoys the company of someone else (you can choose who) and the relationship between that someone and Lena is developing into something more romantic. R confronts Lena and Lena admits that she “no longer” loves R anymore so they break up. R suddenly has fallen off the face of planet and as time passes, Lena feels as if this piece of her missing. Fast forward in time, Lena looks for R but finds out R has died (somehow, idk)

A/N: Hello my dear little beans, today we got some angst in this little piece that took me more time than expected. It was also heavly inspired by this song: Keaton Henson- How Could I Have Known, so go check it, u gonna cry!!! I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think! As always, kudos to the dear anon that sent this one, I really hope yu like it and please leave kudos and share!! Love u guys!!! #helpawriter 

Lena Luthor x Ex Fem!R//Word Count: 2,070

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If Lena Luthor had known, when she first met you, just how much she was going to love you, she would have done one of two things. One, she would have done even the impossible to have you by her side for the rest of her days. Or two, she would have ran in the opposite direction, saving you both the disillusion and the heartbreak.

But how was she to know she was going to fall in love with someone else? Or that she was going to miss you as much after you walked away from her life?

She could still remember the night it all happened at once. When she finally admitted she looked at her best friend in another light, when she realized she no longer loved you the way she used to, and when you decided this had gone for too long.

You had taken your glass of wine with yourself, hoping it would help you ease the tension you were feeling from a night full of chit-chat and polite introductions with people you had no interest in actually meeting. But it was one Charity Gala and you had to put on your best clothes and your best smile. Not that you didn't enjoy this kind of parties but having to meet that many people in such short time sometimes took more energy from you. So you walked around for a while looking for a place to relax for a moment.

That, however, was a lie.

You had found a spot in the small garden outside the building, finally finding some sort of break from all the music and dancing and lights and people inside. You were looking at the glass in your hand, observing the lines and the liquid inside of it, feeling the cold night breeze against your face. You were trying to focus on something that could keep you from thinking.

Because if you started to think too seriously, you would start thinking about Lena. Lena, who was still inside the party and around new friends. Lena, who didn't seem to worry anymore if you were there or not. Lena, who was enjoying herself in the company of someone else. Someone, who was trying her best not to keep up appearances and not cross any boundaries. Someone, who wanted to protect and care for Lena in all ways possible. Someone, who was able to make her as happy as you, or even more. Kara was that wonderful.

You took a sip of wine from your glass and then a deep breath. For so long you had wanted to deny what had been going on between you and Lena but tonight it seemed like you couldn't keep pretending anymore. Lena was in love with Kara, and she didn't even seem to realize how much that had changed everything. The way she looked at you, the way she spoke to you, the way she touched you.

You looked at the sky above, searching for a constellation you could identify easily, when you heard a door slide open and her voice calling from behind.

"(Y/N)? What are you doing here?" She closed the door and walked towards you.

"It felt a little crowded over there." You kept looking at the sky, trying not to lose Orion.

"It is." She said. "I didn't think this much people were going to attend this year but Kara sent some mails from her CatCo directory and, well, here we are."

"Of course." You said, still not meeting her eyes. "Always saving the day."

"She has been very supportive." You could imagine the smile forming on her lips. "I don't know how the night would have ended without her help. She sent an invitation to every important connection she had at CatCo, and they are all here. Can you imagine how much attention the charity will receive after this? She's amazing."

You chuckled bitterly once she finished and finally took your eyes from the sky to focus on the glass in your hand. Only then Lena sensed how distant you were acting.

"You like Kara." You said before she could ask if something was wrong.

She frowned in confusion. "Well, yes. I do like her. She's my friend."

"No." You shook your head. "You like Kara." You said, putting more emphasis on that last sentence.

"What do you mean?"

"I think you know." You finally looked at her, sadness pooling in your eyes. "You didn't think I wouldn't notice?"

It took Lena a moment to realize what you were trying to say. The implication of your words was not something she had ever expected, but she was baffled she couldn't deny that simple statement.

"I know you, Lena. I see it. The smile that sets on your face every time you think about your next lunch date and game night, and every time she's in the room. How you talk with her and about her. The lingering looks and little touches."

"(Y/N), that's not-" She found herself at a loss of words. "She's just a friend."

"I was just a friend too, remember?" You took a deep breath trying to contain the lump in your throat and the drumming inside your chest. "I know the way you fall in love, Lena. You fell for me once."

The veil lifted from Lena's eyes and she found the ultimate betrayal in her own mind as it played every moment spent with Kara against every moment spent with you. Her own damn prodigious mind making the comparative, seizing and matching, with the results final and undeniable.

"That's nonsense." She said trying to dismiss her own thoughts but already feeling the weight of her heart in each word.

"Then tell me, Lena. Are you still in love with me?" Now, face to face, you pushed the question, knowing in that instant Lena had finally figured herself out.

"No." The word fell from her lips after a moment along with a single tear. "I don't think I am."

You closed your eyes and took another deep breath. You hadn't imagined how hard hearing those words would be.

"I'm sorry." She said drawing a shaky breath. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Don't...don't apologize." You shook your head and looked down.

You couldn't blame her no matter how much you put your mind to try and do it. You loved Lena and all you wanted for her was a life filled with love and happiness. But coming to understand that the person you loved was not in love with you anymore was hurting you. And it would have hurt you both so much more if you had let it be.

"You deserve someone that loves you as much and if you love her-" Your voice cracked for a moment.

"Well, there's nothing I can say against someone that makes you happy, can I?"

Lena watched as you took another deep breath, gathering all of your strength and will to do what you believed was right.

"And if I'm not that person anymore, then... what the hell am I doing here?" Your words faded in an almost whisper as you looked around with a confused frown.

"(Y/N)-"

"I hope she makes you happy, Lena." Your eyes found hers again. "I really do."

She could only watch as you turned around with your glass on hands and sad smile on your face and left.

Now, it had been months since she had last seen you and although Kara's presence in her life had made her as happy as you had once and helped Lena seal the cracks of her heartbreak, she missed you.

That night she had stayed at the gala while you went home and took all the things that were strictly yours with you. There were, however, so many others that were all yours and Lena's. The pictures on the walls, the little plants you kept around, the furniture and decorations, and the things you had chosen to fill your home. She could find everything but you at every corner.

Having you in her life for so long had made her believe you were indeed going to spend the rest of your lives together. And even when she didn't believe in everlasting love, she believed you were still an important part of her life. You had showed her what the world could be if she opened her eyes and her heart to the light around, that she could break the curse of her last name and that, before anything else, you reminded her she was Lena. A woman trying to make a name of her own.

Then, after not hearing from you for so long, she tried to contact you again. She hoped, maybe, even after the way things had ended between you two, you could still have a friendship. You were so important to her to just let you go, but you seemed to be unreachable.

She had tried calling you again, texting you, sending emails, and even tried using her very private social media apps to send you a message. It all had been useless as you never answered any. So Lena finally went after you.

"Lena?"

She watched as the door opened to a very surprised figure.

"Hello, (Y/F/N)." She said to your best friend, and it took them a moment to answer back.

"Hey, yeah, sorry." They cleared their throat and tried to speak through their astonishment. "H-how are you?"

"Good, thank you." Lena smiled.

"Great, great." They nodded, offering her a little smile.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I need a favor. Do you know by any chance where could I find (Y/N)?"

"You want to talk to (Y/N)?" She saw them frown.

"Yes. I know it's been a while, and I suppose you already know what happened between us but I wanted to talk with her. But she doesn't seem to want to talk with me." She explained.

It wasn't her intention to add insult to the injury by following your friends. She had imagined by this time all of them new about your break up and even some about the reason behind it. So she wanted to make this avoiding the awkwardness of the situation and finding you as soon as possible. She could deal with your friend's cold shoulder later.

"But she's-" They stopped mid-sentence and Lena believed not even Supergirl could change the expression of her face as quickly as they had done it. Lena saw a deep confused frown transform itself into two baffled raised eyebrows and a slight open mouth, to be replaced by a soft concerned frown. "You don't know, do you?"

"What is it?" She asked without fully understanding the meaning of the question but already feeling the undeniable and familiar painful tug in her heart.

"Lena." She could hear the tremble in their voice and Lena's heart finally crumbled once they said their next words. "(Y/N) is dead."

There was a second when Lena seemed frozen in time. The world had stopped and she along with it.

At least, it felt like that to her until her brain was able to process the words they had pronounced. Your name, so dear to her. The verb, which meant presence. The adjective, relative to death. The absence of life that Lena had witnessed so many times and a shadow that hung above her constantly. Something she couldn't link to you.

"No, that's-" Lena's throat closed up with a lump and felt herself fighting tears.

"I sent the info about her funeral to everyone I knew, and I thought you...I thought you couldn't make it or weren't ready to come yet." They sighed. "(Y/N) told me about your break up. She was sorry about how things had ended, and she had been worried she had made a mistake. She really loved you, you know?"

At those words, Lena finally crumbled.

Because if she had known that night you would turn around to never come back, she would have called after you. If the words hadn't got stuck in her mouth, she would have told you how sorry she was her heart had changed. She would have begged you to stay at least for a moment longer, to share one last glass of wine, one last dance, and one last kiss.

Because Lena had known once just how much you loved her.

[heavenlysan]

Cruel Love [6]

Mafialeader!San | Detective!Reader | Soulmates | Choi San x female reader | NSFW!!! | Explicit language | T/W Harassment, Light violence and mentions of blood |

Words: 4,3k

Chapters:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

(Y/N'S POV)

The last ray of dim light disappeared after closing the door I rest against the door holding my chest trying to control the unknown things happening inside of me I look through the peephole and he's still there he stares blankly into space while touching his lips he smiles so big and raises one of his hands in victory he's happy? 

I go to bed thinking about how San is nothing like Irene's report portrayed him or at least he hasn't showed that side yet. He is a caring man who blushes easily. I feel my old phone vibrating under the mattress and I hurry up to see who it is if it's Irene I'm doomed.

"Hello?"

"Hey y/n how is the fake life going?" I sigh relieved after hearing Dylan's voice.

"Are you drunk or dumb? We're not supposed to have contact"

"I know" He laughs loudly "I just don't know if you remember that I'm working on your last case and one of the papers is missing I wanted to know if you still have it or if I have to ask our boss"

"Really? I left everything organised it shouldn't be missing but I probably messed up without realising it probably is in my apartment" I scratch my head trying to remember.

"Can I go to your old apartment to pick it up then?" He asks.

"Sure ask the doorman to open the door for you I'll call to let them know you're passing by" It's completely okay it's not the first time he does it I've known Dylan for two years almost three and it's not the first time he's there without me being present.

"Okay I'll call you after getting them, take care y/n" He ends the call.

I feel so troubled I feel really tired but I have to stay up to write a report that I don't even know where to start. Tonight San didn't show a single sign of him being a criminal we talked about our life and the FBI is surely not interested in his childhood. He did showed signs of his wealth the earrings, his expensive car and renting a whole planetarium just for us. I search around on the Internet to find how much the earrings are and my jaw drops as soon as I see the price 14,995 dollars. He must have a lot of money if he can do that casually buying expensive jewelry like it's candy. Me being an average human getting an average paycheck can't understand how he can spend that much on a woman he just met? My phone rings again, it's Dylan but is just a message this time.

Damn you must have been on a huge rush to leave your apartment like that 😭 since you can't come back for idk how long I'll clean it and tidy this place up for you but you owe me one.

What is he talking about? I call him immediately but he doesn't answer. What is he doing? I try again but it sends me to voicemail his message was sent only seconds ago why can't he pick up? But I try not to worry and just send him a message.

What do you mean? you're so dramatic not all of us are perfectionists and clean as you are I left my apartment as it always is and answer your phone I called you twice!!

I go back to my report and I write the little information I have I know Irene is going to yell at me because she gave me specific instructions of writing an extremely detailed report but the only thing I have is evidence of his wealth besides I'm doing a good job San is opening up and the whole point is gaining his trust Irene said it herself San was hard to find and me getting this close is in fact more than she expected.

I rest my head on the desk just to close my eyes for a little moment the tiredness is a lot but I have to keep on writing.

…

The sun dazzled me and I straighten up in my seat fuck I was supposed to just rest my eyes for a moment but I fell asleep. I stretch my arms and legs and I feel good It's been a long time since I've slept so well. My heart starts beating fast when I hear a knock on the door and I get up so fast to open just to find Irene on the other side.

"You must have had a rough night you look…" She looks at me from head to toes and tries to find non-offensive words or at least that's what she looks like. "Anyways remember my instructions? I'm here to see your report"

I don't really say anything to her I just guide her to my desk and give her the report.

"This is just" She holds the bridge of her nose and laughs then breaks the paper in half and throws it away "You think this is a joke? We don't give a shit about his money we're losing time" She yells at me, she looks furious.

I would usually lower my head and be a good employee but today that's not the case. "Don't you see? This is useful for the case knowing about his wealth we can get an idea of what he's doing find his credit history and see what business he's involved in" I yell back at her and she looks surprised "At least I'm getting things done you along with the rest of the FBI have been trying for too long to reach him but you failed you should be thankful I was able to get this close"

She's about to leave but turns back to look at me "Show me what you recorded"

Fuck not again.

"I wasn't able to get much" I get the earrings and I connect them to her laptop.

She tenses when she sees his face. In the short video I was able to get there he was it only showed when he gave me the flowers and the diamond earrings and before the video ends it shows how he took off my detective earrings.

"Flowers and diamond rings? You had a date with him right after you guys had sex? Seriously? Isn't supposed to be date and then sex" She says with saltiness in her voice.

"Listen, I'm aware that you're my superior and I should show you some respect but if you want that I want respect back if I had or didn't have sex with him that is the point of the investigation get close gain his trust so I don't know what you're getting so mad for but if you're really itching to know no, I didn't have sex with San"

"San? So you’re that close now" She nods and laughs sarcastically "Sure whatever you say I'll be back in a couple of days" She gets up to finally leave and I couldn't be happier about it "And y/n next time make sure to write something actually useful"

I sit on the couch for a moment, letting out a big sigh of frustration and anger why was she so mad about all of this? from the beginning she knew this wasn't going to be easy. My head hurts because all of this and I just lay back on the couch. I stare at the ceiling for too long my mind completely blank the last words she said definitely hit a nerve make sure to write something actually useful it remind me of stuff from my childhood and I get mad again can't she see I'm trying my best?.

I get up again to the kitchen to finally eat something and see if that can stop my headache but my phone starts ringing. It's an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Hi is this y/n?" Says a woman but there's a little bit of noise and I can't recognise her voice.

"Yeah it's me who is this?"

"Hi it's Lucy the tall girl from the bar I'm sorry if I catch you in a bad time but our boss isn't gonna be around for a few days and whenever he isn't around I'm in charge I was wondering if you could come to the bar earlier and help me with some stuff"

I think about it for a moment and I don't really want to go to that bar ever again but it's not like I have any other choice "Sure at what time do you want me there?"

"Around 4pm or earlier if you can, I hate being in charge here so if you can come earlier I'll really appreciate it"

"Okay I'll be there"

"Thank you new girl" She says and I end the call.

This is just fucking perfect the last time I was there, my confidence was left on the floor, I hated the way I had been treated. But I also wonder why the boss isn't gonna be around? He must be sick I guess.

I wonder if San is gonna be there tonight but that I remember he only goes there only once or twice per week so he might not be there tonight.

I take a shower and after that I finally eat something, but there's not much left to eat for the next week and there wasn't much food to begin with so I'm obligated to leave and get the groceries. I put on a hoodie some old jeans and I leave.

There's not many people in this neighbourhood it's nothing like my old one in my old building there was always noise always if it wasn't a couple fighting it was babies crying or if it wasn't that it was the same couple having loud sex in plain daylight. This neighbourhood it's nothing like that I've been walking and so far I've only seen one old lady taking out her trash.

"What are you doing outside gorgeous" Says a man but I don't even bother to turn around and I just keep walking. "Can't you see it's dangerous to be alone a girl with an ass like yours isn't safe anywhere" I feel disgusted and I just rush my steps. "Stop ignoring me dirty slut I've been observing you the other day you left with a short dress that made me so hard are you a whore beautiful? Because I'll gladly pay for your services"

I stop walking and I turn around to face him "Leave me alone or I'll scream"

"That won't do much honey have you seen this place? it's empty as fuck even if you scream for help nobody is gonna come and save you" He tries to get closer to me but I take a step back. "Come on gorgeous I just want a little taste of that pussy of yours you're a whore you want it too you're probably getting wet right now"

I've had enough of this man this time I'm the one that gets closer to him he probably thinks he got me, as soon as he lowers his guard I punch him in the face. He holds his nose and sees the blood in his hand and looks shocked "What did you call me? A whore? I'll show you what a whore can do then" I punch him again.

The man looks pissed but he doesn't stay for too long and runs away. He messed up with a good trained detective after all.

I finally get to the convenience store and get enough stuff for the next week.

"Your total would be" The cashier looks down at my hand "Are you okay!?" I get confused to what he means and I look at my hand and it's turning green and purple and there's some of my own blood I don't remember punching that man that much?.

"I'm okay thank you" I pay and I don't even bother to get my change I get out of there.

I hurry and I run as fast as I can to be safe, if that man appears again with this hand I won't be able to do much to defend myself. I get there and I close the door behind me completely breathless for running so much. I walk to the bathroom to wash and disinfect my hand, with eyes closed and itching pain I put a bandage on my hand. I've hit people before and my hand has never ended like this did I… punch him more than I remember?

I stay in the kitchen trying to rewind the tape but I only remember punching him twice and then he just ran away… But the blood on his face and my hand doesn't match up with my memories.

I glance at the clock 2pm I should start getting ready to head to the bar. I do my make up first a not so heavy smokey eye and red lipstick. I wear a short backless long sleeved black dress I'm gonna be cold at night but the other dresses are just as short and skin revealing as this one so there's no big difference. I eat something quickly before leaving and I just close the door.

With not so much enthusiasm I drive to the bar and I drive as slow as possible I don't want to be there and I don't want to be there this early. My hand still hurts I move the bandage a little and my hand still has a purple greenish color I knew it wasn't going to heal right away but I was hoping for a miracle because it's definitely going to draw attention.

I get there and in my head I definitely had thought that Lucy had called all the girls to help her too but we're all alone and as soon as she spots me Lucy gets so happy.

"y/n thank God you're here I was hoping to see you even earlier but it's okay, we're opening in a few hours and we need to get this place ready"

"You mean like clean and other stuff?" She nods "What happened to everyone doesn't this place already have another employees to get it ready?"

"Yes but I'm a woman and whenever I'm in charge not a single male employee does what I order they only listen to our boss and if he isn't around here they don't even bother to show up till it's time to open"

"Seriously? They sound pathetic" Lucy looks really stressed.

"I know right that's why I called you the other girls usually sleep all day to work all night so I got really glad we you picked up your phone I'll do most of the work inside but if you could wait outside for a delivery"

"Lucy, it's okay just breath for a moment" I hold her shoulders and she takes a deep breath "and relax we can do all the work on our own don't worry"

"Thank you y/n if you ever wanna go shopping or something, give me a call it'll be my treat"

I go outside as she asks me to but she didn't even mention what am I supposed to receive but I didn't want to give her more trouble.

I wait for a long time but there's no sign of any delivery the worst part is that it's a little bit cloudy it might rain in a few hours and I'm starting to get cold.

I sit on the edge of the sidewalk when I see a big truck parking next to the bar. Is that it? A man starts walking towards me and that confirms it.

"We got your boxes of Tequila Ley .925, Henri IV Dudognon Heritage Cognac Grande Champagne, Diva Vodka, Dalmore 62 that's a special one I've heard it's good ma'am and the last one is Penfold Ampoule just sign here please" Those are brand names? Even the names sound ridiculously expensive. I do as he says and he and another man start getting the boxes out of the truck.

"Now I know why Lucy preferred cleaning inside." I'm left with over forty boxes of expensive liquor that I'm supposed to move from the parking lot to the cellar. I take off my heels so I don't fall down the stairs and break the bottles and my ankles. This is definitely more tough that it looks like I keep going up and down till there's no more boxes on the parking lot I'm left exhausted with trembling legs and arms and I already want to go and take a long nap.

I lay on one of the red velvet sofas and Lucy sits in front of me

"Why you didn't call me to help you?" She was already so stressed and I didn't want to be a burden but I don't say anything "Our boss never makes such big orders unless a big event is coming I didn't know you'll be left with so many boxes and I also didn't see your injured hand I'm sorry" She sounds sincere and I just give her a smile.

"Don't worry about it I needed some exercise"

"But we can't stay here we're actually late to open so I need you to get up"

"What time is it? Did I already take that long?"

"It's 7pm we were supposed to open an hour ago but It's not your fault it was actually mine I took to long washing all the wine glasses"

She gets to the door and removes the lock and I just want the sofa to absorb me or something. It doesn't take too long for the other employees and the rest of the girls to finally get here and after around 30 min this place looks exactly like the first time I saw it. Men everywhere drinking and playing either darts or billiards.

I look around to find Lucy and she's already talking with a man.

So far I'm thankful nobody has asked me to have sex the only men who have approached me was just to flirt, invite me a drink and play billiards even if it was just so they could see my butt it's better than have sex with nasty drunk men.

I leave to the bathroom to get some air and stay away from the noise for a few minutes my knuckles hurt more than they did earlier. Carrying boxes all afternoon was obviously a terrible idea.

I go back and I see a familiar face it's San's friend Wooyoung and another man I don't know I try to avoid him seeing me but it's too late when I hear him calling me.

"You're the girl from the other night aren't you? What was your name" He closes his eyes "y/n! Right!" Shouts Wooyoung and I get closer so he doesn't have to be so loud.

"She's y/n? now I understand" Says the man next to Wooyoung even if they're sitting I can tell he is taller than him.

"Mingi don't be annoying" He tries not to laugh it looks like they're already drunk "By the way we couldn't convince San to come tonight but let me give him a quick call and let him know you're here"

"No no you don't have to" I try to stop him but he already has his phone out.

"San guess who's here she wants to see you" He laughs again he is definitely drunk but not a bad type of drunk. "He hung up on me I can't believe this bastard but don't worry y/n he's probably on his way"

A girl walks past Wooyoung and he forgets about my existence I think it's the same girl he was with last time but I can't remember her name. I look around and the other tall man Mingi left too.

Men keep inviting me drinks I definitely feel uncomfortable but again I rather this than sex. And I also start feeling a little dizzy.

"I can't believe San started liking another girl" I hear a deep voice that startles me I turn around to face him and it's Mingi. "After all he went through I thought this whole women thing was over for him but…"

One of the girls approaches me interrupting Mingi "A man paid for you he is waiting in the golden VIP room and please hurry we can't afford losing a client tonight" I look at Mingi and makes a gesture that indicates that it's okay.

I celebrated too early men not paying for me I jinxed it completely what am I gonna do? I don't want to do this. I walk through the green neoned hallway and I slowly open the door of the golden VIP room.

"I heard you wanted to see me"

A sigh of relief leaves my mouth when I see San. He looks so good he's wearing a black coat that makes him look so mysterious and elegant.

"Actually that was your friend Wooyoung" I say resting my back against the door.

"That's what I thought princess but I couldn't pass the opportunity to see you"

"Mr Choi San I don't know if you remember but the other night I got instructions to treat you like a God.”

He gets closer to me and the smell of whiskey fills the air. He wraps me with his arms and lifts me up I wrap my legs around his waist but he just looks at me with lust in his eyes I take the initiative and kiss him softly. And that feeling appears again it's unknown yet familiar and exciting. I remember where we are and if we're gonna do it I don't want it to be here.

"San let's go to another place." I say and San nods but before opening the door he pulls down my dress as it was before. He holds my non-injured hand and guides me outside where the rain takes us by surprise and we hurry to his car.

"Do you want to go to your house or my house" He asks and I smirk at him getting closer.

"Truth is I can't wait any longer" That's the alcohol talking for me. Those are enough words for San. We jump to the back seat and I sit on his lap he probably sees the desperation in my eyes because he tilts my chin up and kisses me. It’s rough but slow, he has his hands around my hips and I start teasing him grinding against his bulge.

"Princess…" He moans and that sounds so good.

It was obvious that both of us were drunk but none of that mattered right now. I desired him and he desired me. He switched positions resting my back on the seat, now he was on top. He takes off his coat he has a white shirt and black suspenders but my hands are faster than his and I unbutton his shirt revealing his abbs. I leave a trail of kisses first his lips and then his neck then his chest going lower and lower till I reach his pants I glance at him one last time he has his hands on my head caressing my hair. Without hesitation I unbuckle his belt and bring down his pants along with his boxers revealing how hard he is I kiss just the tip and he throws his head back I can feel how desperate he's getting.

"San you want me to keep going?" I whisper and he just nods. "What do you want me to do?"

"Princess please keep going I'm begging you" He sounds so desperate but I do as he says and I take it all at once. He moans aggressively and that makes me so wet, I can feel his legs twitching. He starts pushing my head and playing with my hair I go slow to tease him "You feel so good around me princess don't stop" I start going faster and faster I couldn’t get enough of him he felt so good. "Oh fuck" He groans and looks at me with a smile and kisses me right away. I couldn't believe all of this but I didn't want to stop either. He takes off my dress and I feel so exposed that I start blushing "You're beautiful princess" He's on top of me again I feel like my heart is gonna jump out of me anytime now. He kisses me roughly but there's tenderness in the way he does it. His hands go from my neck to my chest I feel like crying I'm desperate I want him inside of me.

"San please"

"I like that, keep doing that say my name princess" I feel the tip in my entrance God I can't do this anymore I want him inside of me now.

"San please fuck me" I wanted him in me, all at once I didn't care. His weight on top of me felt nice I wanted him even closer even deeper. "Hush" he said, and he kissed my eyelids, then my lips. His strong and gentle hands began to stroke me, his hands, his lips, his tongue this felt like heaven. He pushed further inside of me gentle. Knowing what he was doing. I felt my nipples rise, and it startled me, I felt like I was going to break in half. But it was worth it. He moved his hips faster and I was a moaning mess. I looked directly into his eyes and he held down both of my hands while leaving soft kisses on my lips. He was rhythmic, gentle, moving down my body.

San was making me feel yet another unknown feeling it felt strange and new but it felt extremely good. I throw my head back and let out one last moan there was a sharp brief pain It felt like a big explosion inside of me and then a sweet spasm went through me, no more pain just San's sweetness and tenderness.

[purplesurveys]

1114

survey by dishwallafied

WHO was the last person...

you spoke to, in person? I think it was my sister, like earlier at 1 AM. She was the last person apart from me to head upstairs for bed.

you called? I tried calling our internet service provider’s hotline to inquire about our lost connection last weekend, but all I got was a useless automated message saying they’re on top of all concerns and will be addressing ours soon, which did not make any fucking sense because I didn’t get to report my issue anyway. Their social media was virtually useless too, and my dad had to physically go to one of their offices last Monday to settle the issue.

that called you? My phone’s not near me at the moment (omg a rarity) but it was the delivery person for Reggy’s croissants. GPS has always hated our street and has never been able to identify it, so whenever anyone in the family makes a purchase for delivery we’re bound to get a call or two from the rider assigned to our order to ask for directions.

you texted? It was the same delivery guy. He had tried to call me but I was in a meeting that I couldn’t get out of, so I explained to him I could only text. I also gave him a Waze link containing the exact positioning of our house so that he could set it up on his phone.

that sent you a text? I think it was just my mobile services provider sending out some random promotional text. Idk, I never open those.

you kissed? Gabie.

that kissed you? Also her. I don’t plan on kissing anyone new any time soon.

you yelled at? I haven’t recently been in a situation where I’ve had to yell at anyone...I do slightly raise my voice a lot on video call meetings just so I’m sure everybody on the call can hear me. That’s the closest I’ve got.

that yelled at you? My mom, when she was being a real drama queen about MY money a couple of weeks ago.

you watched a movie with? I watched it by myself, but I remember calling my ex for comfort because the movie was a little scary and creepy. I also remember how bothered she sounded that I was calling her, as if I was a huge burden, so...there’s that. Y’all do me a favor and be with someone who gets delighted when you call instead of making you feel like you’re a waste of space okie?? Good

you ate dinner with? My family. My dad laksa for dinner, which was perfect because I had been watching 2 Days 1 Night yesterday and the cast members kept eating ramyeon, which made me develop a serious craving for noodles all day.

you were in a photo with? I think it had been a family selfie. My family and I were about to leave the accommodation we stayed at in Tagaytay, and my mom wanted a final photo in the living room before we stepped out.

you took a photo of? My employer sent out heart-shaped red velvet cakes for all of us for Valentine’s Day, so I took a photo of it with Cooper in the background to share to the work group chat. I definitely did not expect any goodie sendout considering I never viewed Valentine’s as a special day even when I was still in a relationship, so it was a nice surprise to receive. 

you went to a concert with? Oh my Paramore show was a solo date. Gabie did come to the arena with me and I also drove Denise, Erycka, and Leigh, but the three of them settled for a different section somewhere farther out given how they already did VIP seats for Paramore’s previous concert in 2013. It was my turn to have a front-row seat and since I didn’t know anyone who was as big of a fan as I was or was willing to shell out ₱7,000 for a VIP seat, I went by myself.

you lied to? I think it was Bea, my manager? She scheduled a quick call last Tuesday just to do a check-in with me, and she was asking how I was. Of course I had to tell her I was doing fine, which is never completely true for a lot of people, I think. I didn’t want her to ask me to open up anyway, so saying I was fine was the easy way to go.

you invited somewhere? I recently saw a music clip of a certain song that’s played a lot in bars, so I tagged my entire college barkada telling them we should go back to TK soon, at least when the lockdown and the pandemic subside considerably.

you dated? Gabie.

you dumped? It worked the other way around.

you rejected? I mean, I guess I technically rejected the girl Mik told me was interested in me. We never met since Mik refused to tell me her name or show a photo, but I informed him I wasn’t planning on talking with anyone soon so she can stop thinking I’m available.

you held hands with? Angela.

you hugged? Andi, before they got out of my car since we were parting ways for the evening.

you let cry on your shoulder? This hasn’t happened in a very long time. Most likely Gabie, but this would’ve been around at the start of 2020 when we could still see each other regularly.

that let you cry on their shoulder? Figuratively, Angela and Andi.

you bought a gift for? I got a weekend accommodation for my family, but it was really meant for my dad for his 50th birthday.

you wished a happy birthday? Hans.

that disappointed you? I was more annoyed than disappointed, but it was some random Fil-Am who was being ignorant at the Subtle Filipino Traits Facebook group. That community gives me a huge migraine most days because of Fil-Ams who continue to romanticize the ~beauty~ of the country whilst completely ignoring the socio-political trainwreck here, but the group is kind of the place to be for Filipinos so I can’t see myself leaving it either.

that stayed over at your place? They didn’t stay over for the night but Angela and Hans did a surprise visit to my house a few days after Christmas.

that let you crash at their place? Gab. I used to always crash at her place when I’ve had a few drinks.

that made you angry? Idk man, can I give Mark Zuckerberg as an answer? HAHAHA I went on Facebook first thing today and the first thing I saw was a Facebook Memory, and it was a photo of me and Gabie at Athenna’s birthday party four years ago. I got irritated at first until I remembered that we were both tagged in the post, which means it would most likely show up on her feed as a Memory as well. Just to humor my petty ass, I kinda hope the memory would make her sad, wherever she is; but otherwise seeing the Memory pop up didn’t make me sad or bothered anymore so that’s a win for meee.

that complimented you? Leah, my employer’s CEO. She did a check-in call with me recently to get to know me better, so one of the first things she asked was a list of the clients I handle. I happen to be in the team that works with the company’s more big-league clients, so once she heard the brands she told me I must be a good enough worker to be assigned those clients. It meant a lot and it still does.

whom you complimented? Bea. I just let her know how helpful she’s been with me considering I’m a fresh graduate on her first job in a work-from-home setup in the middle of a global pandemic.

you thanked? A supplier I’m currently in contact with, for work.

that thanked you? The said supplier thanked me back.

you saw, in person? My sister.

that bought you something? Dad bought siopaos for us yesterday.

that made you laugh? The cast of 2 Days 1 Night, from when I was watching the show last night.

that you said you loved? I don’t remember. I think it was Kate since she helped me out with a favor.

that said they loved you? Hannah.

you flipped off? I haven’t whipped out the finger in a while, come to think of it.

you made a silly face at? Not a person, but Cooper.

that drove you somewhere? Dad was the driver for our Tagaytay trip.

WHAT was the last thing you...

touched? Aside from my keyboard, my vape pen.

threw? Cooper’s bowling pin squeak toy. He’s gotten a lot better at catching things with his mouth, so I’ve been throwing it a lot at him to continue training him.

ate? A caramel croissant.

drank? Coffee.

found stuck in your teeth? Haven’t had this happen to me in a while.

cooked? I’ve never tried cooking anything.

baked? Idk, maybe cookies 873984732842 years ago.

threw away/tossed out? The packet for the sauce that came with the siopao my dad bought.

bought? I made a purchase for 20 bags for a work thing, but only because I was assigned to do the whole correspondence with the supplier. My manager was the one who sent over the payment when the purchase was confirmed.

sold? I don’t think I’ve ever tried selling anything before.

took a photo of? Cooper hahaha. I had been dancing to a song and he was staring at me.

were frustrated with? Our internet provider when they cut off the connection last weekend.

broke? I’m not sure if I can say I broke it, but the adaptor for my phone charger finally gave up on me the other day. I’ve taken to borrowing my sister’s for now, since she says she “doesn’t use it a lot” anyway.

spilled? Some drops of coffee spilled out of my mug when I dumped several ice cubes in it.

tripped on? Kimi. He follows me evvvvvvverywhere, so I bump into him at least once a day.

kicked? I’m not really sure.

put batteries in? Haven’t had to use batteries in a while, either.

turned on? The Bluetooth on my laptop.

turned off? The electric fan last night since I found it loud.

wrote? Other than my answers to this survey, I’ve also been talking with Angela this morning over Messenger.

wrote on? Other than my phone/laptop, my journal.

cleaned? My glasses.

stuck up your nose??? My finger when a nostril itched recently.

WHERE was the last place you...

dined at? Ramen Nagi.

ordered something to go? I don’t do takeout deliveries, but the last thing I got for delivery was banh mi and iced Vietnamese coffee last week.

bought something? Facebook Marketplace.

cried? In the living room. I came across that viral video of a guy proposing to her girlfriend at a Taylor Swift concert, when he knelt at the exact moment Taylor sang “He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring” from Love Story. It was such a sweet, classy, non-cringey public proposal and I allowed myself to be swept away by the cheesiness of it all, haha.

felt uncomfortable? Dining room table. I was sharing a story to my parents about work involving a guy and my mom asked me if I had a crush on him. My dad kind of snorted and said, “Her? Crush on a guy?” which told me he knew something was up re: my preferences lmao. They’ve never heard anything from me yet, so that made me feel awkward and I most especially didn’t want my mom to catch on to the question and suddenly put me in the hot seat.

drove to? Other than back home, I last drove to UPTC.

had an appointment at? Google Meet, hahaha.

went on vacation? Tagaytay. 

hung out with a friend? Andi and I went to a Korean barbecue place at UPTC (again), but we also drove to UP after just to revisit the good old days of being in campus.

bought clothes? H&M in Feliz.

spent more than you had planned? Ramen Nagi. I had a couple of add-ons in my meal and I didn’t know their service fee was going to be quite high, so my final bill ended up being slightly more than the budget I planned out for that day.

saw a band/singer/musician perform? Late 2019. My ex and I stopped by a jazz bar and there was a live band playing.

WHEN was the last time you...

told someone 'I love you'? Last Friday.

cried? Last night.

laughed? This morning. Cooper was being silly around me and my dad, as always. This time he was unusually behaved when we let him out, and the bizarreness of it all made us so unsettled we ended up laughing.

left your home? Last Sunday. I might go out later, too.

drank a soda/pop? Early last year. There was Coke being served at an org event, and since I felt thirsty and there was no drinking fountain around I just said fuck it and drank the soda.

made your bed? Last night when I left my room to settle in the living room.

visited a doctor? May last year.

went to the emergency room? Other than when 23 years ago when I was born, I’ve never been brought to the emergency room.

kissed someone? September.

hugged someone? Mid-January.

prayed? Six years ago. Or maybe five; I can’t really tell when exactly I made it a point to stop for good.

worked out? Around a week ago. I’m thinking if I should keep at it or if I should just stop, seeing as I’m not willing to give up my favorite foods anyway lmao.

made a phone call? I tried to make a phone call to our internet provider last weekend.

answered a phone? The other evening when the landline rang.

had an argument? Two weeks ago, instigated by my mom as usual.

played a video game? I think 2-3 weeks ago when I got in the mood to play the Switch.

played a card game? Safe to say at least a couple of years ago.

played a board game? November when we suffered a power outage for two days and had nothing to do at home.

rode a bike? LOOOOOOOOL March. The lockdown had just started and I made plans to learn how to ride a bike, but those plans fell through as soon as they began.

fell on your butt? This doesn’t happen often.

took a shower? Last night.

took a bubble bath? I can’t even remember anymore; this is a rare occasion for me.

watched TV? I last watched a TV show in general last night, but I last watched something on an actual television last Sunday when my family watched a Sunday mass livestream.

saw a movie at a theater? December 2019.

ate fast food? I got Bonchon for my family last December, if I remember correctly. My dad had done a huge favor for me and I asked what I can do to repay it, and he said to just buy dinner for the 5 of us for that evening.

ordered a pizza? Last month.

made someone laugh? I’m not sure if I had made her laugh in real life, but Angela and I had a humorous conversation over chat earlier this morning.

sang? Few minutes ago.

played a musical instrument? Absolutely no clue.

read a book? Couple of weeks ago when my employer sent me this book on PR that I was asked to read in preparation for my meeting with Leah.

drove a car? Last Sunday.

went swimming? Think it may have been my Nasugbu trip with Angela, Sofie, and Gabie back in August 2019.

got a sunburn? Idk man, when I was 8? I stopped getting sunburns as I got older.

went to church or temple? The last Sunday in March before the lockdown started.

went shopping? I did my final around of Christmas shopping last month for friends I still had to give presents to.

drank alcohol? Sometime last month after my work shift, following back-to-back meetings with my least favorite client.

smoked a cigarette? Feb last year, I think. I don’t buy cigarettes of my own and I’m also a lot more watchful of my cigarette usage, so I haven’t been able to smoke since I haven’t been around a crowd who does. I mostly vape.

threw up? I last felt like throwing up back in May, but I haven’t actualy thrown up in at least a couple of years now.

had a headache? Just this Thursday.

had a cold? No idea.

had the flu? It wasn’t strictly the flu, but I was last sick in May.

had your hair cut? March last year.

dyed your hair? Never done it.

laughed so hard that you cried? It’s happened in at least the past couple of weeks, I’m sure.

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 55

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA 

(FINAL CHAPTER)

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46 || CHAPTER 47 || CHAPTER 48 || CHAPTER 49 || CHAPTER 50 || CHAPTER 51 || CHAPTER 52 || CHAPTER 53 || CHAPTER 54

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -5.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified the sequel is posted, message me!

- note for this chapter: i mean, this is it. this is the end. not really because you all know theres a sequel but its still super big to me. ive been writing for 22 years and its the very first time i finish a real story. im super proud of this story and it has over 220k words, which is something i’ve obviously never done before. im also super happy to post this last chapter on the same day Niall’s second album comes out. idk why i just think its cool lmao! 

i would appreciate so so soooo so much your comments for this chapter but also what you think will happen in the sequel or what you want to happen in the sequel. also, anything about the characters, the storyline, the ending... honestly, whatever comes to your mind about this story, good or bad, comments or suggestions... please send it to me! thank you!!!

okay so here it is. :D

Chapter 55 : Her FINAL chapter

OLIVIA

I ended up rushing outside and walking as fast as I could. It took me a few seconds to realize it was pouring outside but it didn't really matter. Nothing really mattered. I was crying but I was still walking fast, letting the tears fall down my cheeks and the sobs getting out of my mouth without shame. It was only after about 10 minutes of walk that i realized I didn't even take my car but when that realization came to me, I still didn't give a fuck.

I was mad at Niall for hurting me and mad at myself for making him the center of my universe for so long. I was so lost without him. I didn't know where to go or what to do. I didn't know who I was, who I wanted to be... I didn't know how to breathe or how to live. I was so pissed at myself for giving one person so much power over me and I hated it. Niall could live without me, he could breathe, he knew who he was and what he wanted, and he had proved it only a few minutes ago. And that made me realize that I was completely wrong about love. It isn't to make one with the person you love. Your lover shouldn't be your other half. Even if the thought sounded incredibly romantic, when you took the time to think about it, it was ridiculous. I was someone without Niall, I just didn't know who yet.

That simple concept made my heart jump in my chest and I started running. I ran fast, feeling my backpack hit the bottom of my back with every step. I ran as fast as I could until my throat burned, until my legs hurt. The sound of my feet on the cement as it echoed on the walls of the houses around seemed to go in rhythm with the beatings of my heart and when I'd run in a pool of water, I heard it splash on me until the bottom of my sweatpants were soaked. In fact, when I stopped running, I was completely drenched and totally out of breath. I stopped because the person I was looking for was standing only a few meters away from me. He was panting too, I could see his chest raise up and down quickly as he tried to catch his breath and my eyes roamed on him until I noticed locks of his hair stuck on his forehead because of the rain. He was soaked too and I swallowed hard. Seeing him so vulnerable made me realize that's probably how I looked too. I felt my own hair stick to my face and my shirt to my back.

"Olivia."

He had talked a bit louder than usual, trying to make his voice reach me despite the distance and the noise of the rain hitting the paving of the sidewalk where we were both standing.

"I was... I was going to see you." he explained, still panting. "I just... I needed to talk to you. I was sitting on the couch and I just... I rushed out."

My legs had brought me to him while his were also bringing him to me and that thought made me sob. I brought my hand to my mouth to stop it until I saw him start crying too. He was literally weeping in front of me and I wanted to run to him and take him in my arms but I was motionless, like stuck in quicksand.

"Olivia, I got a girl pregnant." he added even louder in-between sobs.

I kept staring at him and swallowed with difficulty again before my lips parted.

"Niall broke up with me."

I don't know how long we stayed just away from each other, standing in the rain but at some point, I felt a shiver run across my back and after half a second, I was in his arms. He held me close, his arms wrapped around my neck and his forehead leaning on the top of my head. He smelled good, he felt great and when he cried again, I squeezed him tighter against me.

The rain kept falling over us but neither of us cared. We just held onto each other while everything was falling apart around us and we were each other's only hope. He brought me inside after a while and let me borrow some clothes, leaving me alone in his room to get changed. I took my clothes off and used the towel he gave me to dry my body. I quickly put his sweatpants and shirt on and started rubbing the towel in my hair as I walked very slowly around his room.

It was modern and classy, just like him, and I always liked the nice and soft carpet he had picked. I let my feet brush on it as I reached the other side of the bed, suddenly curious. There was a bunch of pictures in his room, pictures of his family and friends but there was one small frame that was turned face down on the bedside table. I took it and stared for a few seconds at the smiling faces of Louis and Eleanor, feeling myself tear up again. Two love stories were now ruined and over and I didn't understand what exactly had happened to us.

I sighed and put the frame back exactly where it was before going to the bathroom and hanging the towels behind the door. I came back to the room and smiled slightly as I pushed a pile of dirty clothes on the side and went back to the living room. Louis had made tea and mine was waiting for me on the coffee table. He was sitting down and I noticed he had changed too. His hair, unlike mine, was almost dry already and when he felt my presence, he turned to me and made a quick head movement to incite me to get closer. I breathed in and joined him on the couch, taking the mug with both hands to warm myself a bit before bringing it to my lips.

"Lady grey." I whispered, the left corner of my lips rising a bit.

"With a cloud of milk and no sugar." he added. "Your favorite."

I turned to him and tilted my head.

"Sugar ruins tea." I pointed out as he answered my smile.

"It does, darlin'."

I loved Louis. Everything was so simple with him, even more than with Harry. Perhaps the fact that Louis and I were only friends helped too. I was never only friends with Harry, and I was never only friends with Niall. There were always some romantic or lust feelings involved. I stared at Louis and blinked a few times before taking a few more sips of my tea. The hot beverage warmed my whole body but couldn't get rid of the persistent ache in my heart, unfortunately.

"Do you think it'll always hurt like that?"

"Yes."

It was not the answer I expected and he probably read it in my face because he moved a bit to sit better and face me. I was desperate for human contact and I just wanted to cuddle him but I waited, the fingers of one of my hands playing nervously with the fabric of the couch.

"He's your soulmate just like El is my soulmate." he explained and I could swear I heard his voice crack. "It'll hurt forever."

I swallowed again but felt a tear run down my cheek without wiping it off.

"What are we gonna do, Louis?"

He looked down at his lap and sighed loud. We were both sad and lost and we had no idea what to do with our pain. I moved a bit closer and grabbed his hand on the back of the couch. Immediately, he squeezed my fingers with his.

"I don't know, Liv." he admitted, shaking his head. "And I don't think we'll find out tonight."

I nodded, keeping his hand in mine, as a bunch of thoughts invaded my mind. Would I see Niall again? Would I even be able to be around him without crying or hurting? That didn't seem likely. How would I react when i'd see him with an other girl? Whether I still kept him in my life or not, i'll know about the girls he dates since it'll be all over the net. Niall is discreet, it's true, but he can't hide forever. Plus, we have a few common friends, including Louis.

"Why didn't you fight?" I heard, taking me out of my thoughts. "That's not you Olivia, you always fight for what you want."

I sent him a sad smile and shrugged, running my thumb on top of his hand as I stared at it.

"I saw his face, Louis. It was not a random decision. It was well-thought. It's something he had in mind for a while. I couldn't have done anything about it."

An other moment of silence and I licked my lips.

"Is it Briana?" I wondered in a low tone, looking up only to see him nod slowly. "Is she gonna keep it?"

"Yes."

My heart jumped in my chest. "When did you find out?"

"A week ago."

I raised my eyebrows up in surprise, a bit hurt that he hadn't told me before but I also knew I was the first person he told and that made me feel special. I shouldn't make this about me, it was selfish of me, but it felt good nonetheless to have someone who trusts me, loves me and wants me in his life.

"What are you gonna do?"

Louis sighed again and moved on his seat without letting go of my hand.

"The best I can." he shook his head, still avoiding my eyes. "I'll be the best father in the world."

His answer made me smile and I tilted my head, staring at him. There was something about Louis, something strong and rough. He was a hard-shell with a soft core and it was probably the only thing we didn't really have in common.

"There's no doubt you'll be the best father on the planet."

His lips curled as he kept staring down and I started thinking about Niall again and that time we had talked about having kids. I felt something stir in my stomach and swallowed again to get rid of the nauseous feeling hitting me. I didn't want a family with anyone else and I closed my eyes, trying to mourn the perfect life I've always wanted.

"I wish I had kissed him one last time." I whispered, feeling more tears coming to my eyes. "I missed that chance. I miss how he tastes, how he smells. I miss him."

"You would always hope for 'one last time', Liv. You'd always want an other 'one last kiss'."

He was right but I didn't tell him, instead, I looked down and sniffed before licking my lips.

"I don't even know why he broke up with me. He just said he was not ready to commit, that he knew we'd last forever and he was not ready for that. To me, it makes no fucking sense. When you love someone, you don't care about the other people you could sleep with, you don't care about your freedom because you are free." I tried to explain, getting a bit worked up. "I didn't stop him from doing anything, did I? Was I a crazy, jealous, controlling girlfriend?"

This time, I looked up when I felt Louis move closer. His eyes found mine and he blinked a few times, letting go of my hand to cup my face. I could feel his breath on my face and my lips parted.

"Some people are ready to do anything to prove to themselves that they're not trapped." he let out slowly and in a low tone. "It's on them. Not on you."

My eyes roamed on his face and my heart skipped a beat. I loved that man so much and he deserved so much better than all this pain. I felt his thumbs brush gently on my skin and nodded slowly. Louis always said what he thought when you asked him for an opinion and he always told you things you didn't want to hear but needed to. That, we had in common, that's why this friendship was so real and raw, and also why we got along so well. We were also not touchy or easily offended, which helped.

He moved back a bit and I felt his fingers brush my face as they slid down.

"I know we'd normally get drunk off our asses, but i'm too tired to get pissed. Tomorrow?" His eyebrows raised up and I just nodded. "You can take my bed, it's more comfortable. I'll take the guest room."

"No Louis, it's fine I can-"

"Shut up, princess." he cut me quickly, frowning even more this time. "You take my bed and that's it."

I felt my lips curl and just nodded. He winked at me and smiled before getting up and I followed him slowly to his room. I watched him grab the covers and gripped his elbow quickly.

"Louis, I'm not disgusted by your sheets, you don't have to change them."

He sighed and looked at me for a few seconds before nodding.

"If you're hungry, you take anything in the kitchen, if you need meds or anything, it's in the bathroom. Basically, take anything you need okay? It's all good with me."

I nodded and he pushed the covers before I sat in bed. It took me a minute or two but I finally lied down and brought the blankets on me, feeling tears coming to my eyes again. I didn't want to be alone, it scared me like hell, and if I was about to cry all night, I didn't want to do it by myself.

"Goodnight, Olivia." he just said, turning the light off as he walked out.

Something jumped in my stomach and I sat up quickly.

"Louis!"

He turned around to look at me and our eyes met. I held my breath and licked my lips, unsure if he could see me in the dark but I could clearly see him because of the lights from the hall, illuminating him.

"Please, stay, okay?"

It seemed like I waited an hour just looking at him, waiting for him to reject me but in the end, he nodded and walked away. He turned the lights off and I watched his shadow walk back into the room. My eyes followed him as he got around the bed and under the covers with me. I turned his way and moved closer without touching him and he did the same as we remained silent. I blinked a few times until I got used to the darkness and finally sighed loud.

"Can we spoon?"

"We can spoon."

I turned around, untwisting my shirt and he waited until I stopped wiggling to wrap his arm around me. I closed my eyes and for a few seconds, I imagined I was in Niall's arms, in his bed, but the fantasy was hard to keep. The truth was, it didn't feel the same because Louis was not Niall. No one was Niall.

"I wish I was with El right now. I wish she was the one pregnant with my child." Louis whispered, probably trying to convince himself that the girl he was spooning was the girl he was in love with and not his best friend.

"I wish I was with Niall, right now. I wish he loved me more than his freedom."

"I don't know how to deal with the pain, Livi." he whispered, his voice cracking despite how low it was. "I don't know how to get back up and move forward."

"I wish I could help you but I don't know either."

"I just want to ease the pain." he let out quickly. "At first, getting drunk and high worked but the more I do it, the less it works. I could beg you, Livi, help me."

My heart started aching and I shut my eyes tight as I swallowed.

"I've always dealt with pain the same way, and it's a very very bad way, Louis." I confessed, shaking my head. "It's toxic."

"Tell me."

I rolled on my back and he stared down at me, his hand now laying on my stomach. I wanted to move it away from me but the way his pinky brushed against the skin of my stomach did something to me, something it really shouldn't do.

"I don't know, Louis."

"Does it work?" he asked, and despite how dark it was, I could see hope in his eyes.

"Mmhm." i just answered, now daring to talk.

"For how long?"

My lips parted and I shrugged. "A few hours, it depends."

"I'll take a few painless hours." he insisted. "Please."

Slowly, I reached for his hands under the covers and slid it up on my stomach. I couldn't believe I was doing that and I knew I risked a lot. I risked the only strong friendship I had left. Whether we did anything or not, it could make things awkward between us and that thought was scary as hell. I had lost Niall, I couldn't bare to lose Louis, too. Right before his hand reached my breasts, I pushed it away and shook my head. I was not ready to risk that.

"Forget it, it's a bad idea." I closed my eyes, trying to get my heartbeats back to a normal pace.

"Fuck no."

My heart skipped an other beat as it jumped in my chest and I felt his hand move back to my stomach. His fingers brushed on my skin and I felt my eyes flutter. I didn't know why, but I wanted this.

"That's how you deal?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "Fuck the pain away?"

"Pretty much, yes."

"You said you slept with nine persons in your life but it wasn't true, right?"

Slowly, his hand traveled my stomach and I just shrugged slightly.

"Only nine that mattered." I explained in a whisper. "The others don't count. It doesn't count if I don't know your name."

"You know my name." he murmured, moving his face a bit closer. "Do you want to make it ten?"

I sent him a smile and chuckled very low. Fuck yes I wanted it, but the fact that he did too was laughable.

"You can close your eyes and pretend i'm someone else." I just let out, licking my lips again. "I won't be mad, I know i'm not your type."

"Who said that?"

I brought my hand to his face and pressed my palm on his stubble.

"I've seen the girls you fancy." I shrugged again. "It doesn't matter, it's just to push the pain away for a while, yea? We'll be best friends again tomorrow, right?"

"And we'll never talk about it again if that's what you want."

I laughed a bit, feeling suddenly nervous, and moved my hand in his hair. I felt my fingers slip in it as I pushed his head my way gently.

"I heard i'm not so bad of a lay so, just leave the lights off and you'll be fine."

This time, he's the one who laughed.

"Are you gonna imagine i'm Niall?" he asked, making me frown.

"No!" I let out a bit too loud. "I want to forget about him for an hour, that would be counterproductive."

"Then why do you think i'd want to imagine someone else?" he asked again. "You think so low of yourself all the fooking time, Olivia."

By then, his hand had reached my breasts and I noticed it was under my shirt. He ran his hand on one and I felt my inner thighs throb so hard I almost whimpered.

"Okay, we can try, and if it doesn't work..."

"It's already working."

My lips parted slightly and my eyes roamed on his face. He moved closer but it's only when his lips pressed on mine that I closed my eyes. Slowly and gently, his lips parted mine and I never thought I needed affection as bad as I did. It had been only a few hours since Niall broke up with me but I felt so lonely and craving this intimacy with someone was not something that should surprise me. Louis was not anyone, anyway, and sharing that with him, although a bit awkward, felt better than I thought, even if I had never really thought about it before that night.

I thought he'd be more the impatient, rough and cheeky kind of guy but his hand traveled so slowly on me it took everything in me not to beg him to go quicker. I felt his fingertips brush against my nipple and my whole body started throbbing. I was desperate to be touched, desperate to be loved, desperate to feel alive.. and Louis was doing just that.

I sucked my stomach in when his hand ran down but spread my legs when he slipped his hand in my sweatpants. My back arched immediately at his touch, his whole hand pressing on my pussy until I felt two of his fingers slip inside me. This time, I held my breath and tensed as his mouth left mine. He brushed his lips down my neck and I slipped my hand in his hair. He smelled good, he tasted good, and I tried to suppress the image of Niall that quickly came to my mind without much success. I started tearing up and swallowed hard but when Louis brought his lips back on mine, I relaxed suddenly.

"I know you like it rough and hard but this is not what we need tonight, is it?" he whispered, his lips brushing against mine as he talked.

I shook my head and brought his closer, crushing his lips against mine. It should have hurt but it made me lust him even more and I let my hand travel to his neck and down his chest until it reached his sweatpants too. I heard him groan low and it made me feel dizzy. I pressed my hand on the front of his pants and felt him grind against it as my lips parted again and I started panting. I was excited and impatient but I didn't know if it was because of what I was about to do with Louis, or if it was because I knew I wouldn't feel pain for a while. Perhaps it was a bit of both.

I felt him move my pants down and helped him, pushing them with my feet at the bottom of the bed. I took my shirt off quickly as he did the same and after I pushed his pants down too, he quickly moved on top of me. I spread my legs and ground up without thinking, feeling his hard cock press on my inner thighs but I held my breath when he started kissing down my neck and chest. He gave a special attention to my tummy and it surprised me a bit but I couldn't seem to relax at all, feeling suddenly insecure. I wanted to tell him he didn't have to do that, that we could just make out and fuck, but his lips pressed on my pussy and I let out a curse word. I thought he'd go fast but he moved his lips and tongue so slowly on me that I felt my eyes roll back. I slid my hand under the blanket and found the back of his head only to press his face more on my pussy. I started seeing spots behind my eyelids and I knew I was getting close. I felt one of my legs start shaking and gripped his hair tight when an orgasm hit me hard.

"Oh my god!"

He didn't stop, he kept moving his tongue on me for a while, even after I relaxed, and I enjoyed the post-orgasm attention. He finally got back out of the covers and kissed me again, his mouth leaving an aftertaste of my orgasm on my own tongue.

"Mm, lay down okay?" I whispered, allowing our mouths to part briefly. "Your turn."

His kisses were getting more passionate and impatient and when he let out a low "No", I frowned.

"No?"

"I can't. Not now." he whispered again, kissing me harder. "You taste fookin' good, you know that?"

That confession made me smile and made my heart jump at the same time. I lost my smile when I felt him push himself slowly inside me and wrapped my arms around his chest as I moved my knees up.

"Oh god, fuck me." I whispered, feeling him smirk against my mouth.

"That's the plan."

I chuckled and he pushed himself completely inside me, making my head move back as I whimpered. I was impatient and I ran my hands on his back as I ground up again to feel him deeper.

"You feel... so fucking good."

He didn't answer, he just kissed me harder his elbows leaning on the mattress on each side of my head , and I brought my hands behind me on the wall to move in motion with him as he started thrusting in and out of me, slowly at first but quicker and harder until I felt close to an other orgasm.

"Oh fuck i'm gonna cum again." I murmured, bringing one of my hands to his hair again.

"Do it princess, cum for me, I want to feel you clench around me."

His words and his voice made me reach my peak immediately and I started shaking beneath him, my lips parted as his reached for my neck. He started biting me, amplifying my orgasm as I felt him reach his. His thrusts became unsteady and rough when he tried to push himself deeper before he just stopped moving. I could feel his body tremble slightly and when he finally relaxed, I kept my eyes closed. I was on the verge of tears and I was not even sure why.

Louis rolled away from me as we both lied down on our backs, watching the ceiling. I was suddenly scared that it had changed something between us, something that meant that we could never go back to that friendship we had.

"It worked. I'm not in pain right now." he admitted as I shut my eyes tight for a few seconds before opening them again.

"I'm okay too."

He found my hand between us on the mattress and squeezed my fingers tight. I didn't know if this was a good idea but it did serve the purpose and for now, that was going to be enough.

"Why didn't you want me to blow you?"

He chuckled and finally turned his head my way. It took me a few seconds but I did the same and when our eyes met, I realized he was smirking and it made me smile.

"You said it only stopped the pain for about an hour, yea?" he asked, making me nod and frown. "I'm keeping it for round two. If you're willing, of course."

I let my eyes roam on his face again and I smiled more, bringing my hand to his cheek.

"I am."

                                         --

Surprisingly, we ended up having sex a few times on that night, in-between a few hours of slumber and cuddling, and when I woke up, I turned around in bed to hide my face from the sun only to realize he was not in bed anymore. I kept my eyes close and my heart started aching again but I breathed in deeply and finally sat up and rubbed my eyes. I was still naked and searched the bed for my clothes before I actually found them on the floor, and quickly put them back on.

I walked to the kitchen with a yawn as I pulled on my hair without much success. Louis turned to me and smiled when our eyes met.

"Nice hair, princess." he chuckled. "That's what your sex hair looks like... Interesting!"

"You're such an arse I swear." I grimaced, amused, as I let myself fall on one of this chairs. "Are you really making breakfast?"

"Bacon, eggs, and toasts." he explained, putting a plate in front of me. "Nothing too fancy."

I let out a laugh when I noticed he made eyes with the eggs and a mouth with the bacon, making him smile more.

"You're an idiot, Tommo." I just said with a chuckle. "But thank you."

"For the breakfast?"

"And for last night."

He stopped moving completely but stared down at his plate and suddenly, I felt extremely guilty. I had ruined things between us just like I was scared I had and I swallowed hard. I couldn't lose Louis, I couldn't handle losing him.

"Shit, you regret it, don't you?"

He looked up and his eyes met mine before he frowned and shook his head a bit.

"Olivia, we had sex five fucking times. You don't regret five fucks that happened on the same night." he pointed out, making me breathe out the air I wasn't even aware I was holding. "I just thought we wouldn't talk about it anymore, I thought that's what you wanted."

It took me a few seconds to answer and I just licked my lips.

"It happened. I don't regret it. And I sure as hell won't forget it." I explained, shrugging a shoulder. "I'm just scared it'll change things between us."

"It won't. You're my best friend. That won't change."

I sent him a small smile and nodded, feeling a bit relieved. I knew I would be sure that nothing had changed between us only after a few days of hanging out like we used to but I trusted Louis and I knew he'd tell me if he thought things were different now.

"What are you gonna do now?"

We had both heard and asked this question a lot in the past 12 hours but I just sighed again, shaking my head.

"I'm just gonna... survive for a while I guess." I explained, taking a sip of my coffee. "And then i'll just... i'll work on myself. There are so many parts of me I noticed when I was with Niall, so many things I felt, so many flaws I have... that I need to work on. I think that's what i'll do. Work on meself."

When I looked up at my best friend, he was smiling. Not smirking the way he usually does, but sincerely smiling and it made me smile too.

"I know I always call you 'princess' but... you just turned into a 'queen' now."

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Why? Because of what we did last night?"

"No, silly!" he chuckled and rolled his eyes too. "But what you just said? That's wise. It's actually inspiring me."

"Then let's both do that." I suggested. "We need to take care of ourselves, do things we like, work on us and... and find out who we really are. Who we are without them, as a whole... as complete human beings."

He tilted his head and his eyes became smaller as he studied me.

"Let's do that, queen." he agreed with a nod, making me grin even more. "Love you."

"Love you too."

[myvelouri]

What I wanna know is why did you torture me that day I needed you so much? That day I really needed you to be my girlfriend. It doesn't happen much, but when I need some support I had hoped my girl would be there for me.

The day I'm talking about is when our work again ganged up on me and shoved me in the meeting office and tore me up and wrote me up for bullshit. It was so degrading and there's a whole HR case built around it all. You knew I had going through this with and you had my back sort of. They have been harassing me and just, it's been unfair and horrible. Especially since I'm a good worker and I do a lot.

Anyway, that very day I told you they called me to the office and railed my ass again and I was extremely upset. I texted you about it. I came over after, and you had this lil box of treats for me. It was cute. I was like, yes! That's the kind of shit I like lol. But... But it wasn't completely real. This night ended horribly... BECAUSE of you. You hurt me more than the managers at work did

So I let you hear the recordings of the managers treating me like shit. You were on my side. It was a lot, you saw my anxiety flair up and everything. Suddenly your phone was blowing the fuck up. It already was, but now it was insane. Suddenly you said it was your best friend R. I tried to look but you hid the phone immediately. Then you said "I have to talk to her... But privately" and I said huh? Why? Show me the screen, like, what did she say, what's wrong. And you wouldn't let me see it. I kept asking and you walked away, and you said you'd send me a screenshot... I said wtf why send a screenshot, just flash me your screen real quick, it's that easy... But you wouldn't... And during this era I was already aware somethin was going on behind my back. So, my anxiety flared the fuck up so so bad. I even told you, babe....you're making my anxiety really fucking bad. And you walked out the door and I said BABE just show me the screen, and you made that face like, it implied how I'M the one who's being gross by not being trusting and by being invasive. But I wasn't. That face you made was a way to manipulate me into making me feel bad or guilty for asking to see your phone, to make me feel ashamed so that I'd not ask anymore. But in reality you were fucking cheating and R wasn't actually R, it was your dumbfuck ex and you changed his name to your girl best friend "R." (I'm not using real names here). And I fucking knew it. But at the time you still hadn't admitted to it. You admitted to this way way way later when I had to persuade you so hardcore. Like, you WERE literally going to go on the rest of our lives without ever telling me. That's scary. That's fucked up. But anyway

That night, you took forever on the phone and then you sent me a screenshot, but you had blotted everything out except for two messages from R. I said this doesn't show shit!

And then I asked you what really was goin on. I even said that that's not R, who is it really

You came back to the room and you had said "oh it was just R, she's out drinking and she's just drunk and being a dumbass, but her brother is there too and I talked to him too and he said he's taking care of her"

I feel like that entire lie was just so that you thought that if I maybe heard you talking to your ex, you knew I'd hear a male voice, but you tried to plant "oh it's R's brother" to try and trick me further. That's so fucking evil bro.

And this whole time, this night was really meant for me, cause I really really needed you. Cause I was seriously hurting from work. And us as well. Cause I knew shit was wrong.

And then I honestly asked you what happened with R. You said you can't tell me and that R wouldn't want you telling anyone about her personal shit. I said no way dude, you were gone a while and you did that whole gesture, you called her in private? Shady. Then you wouldn't show me the screen? Shady. Then you blotted out the screenshot of the texts? Shady. And now you don't want to tell me about ANY of it? SHADY. I already let go of that other time you did this. Which I knew was a lie. You used your grandma's sister's illness as a cover for cheating. Fuck, you FAKE cried and accused me of not being considerate that you don't want to talk about your day with Grandma who was supposedly so sad because of the sickness, and like, yeah, your story was all over the place and I kept asking and I just know you were with him that whole day. Fuck you dude. Idk what's worse. The actual cheating, or lying about it and manipulating me and not having even the slightest ounce of guilt while doing it. The capability you have rather. Holy fucking shit.

But back to this night. How the fuck? So I asked what happened about R. And I kept asking cause my anxiety was high now. Shaking. I was shaking. And you then finally said "okay... So R's dad almost died and so she was texting me saying morbid stuff like 'ha my dad's dead'" and shit like that. I said well... Why wouldn't you tell me that? It's not that bad, she's drunk and upset... We've told each other much deeper things...

I asked her, well, okay, then the texts you just blotted out. If what you're saying is true then why won't you just show me the texts right now? Just show me it, the unedited one... Show me.

You fucking wouldn't show me. And so I hot more anxiety. Cause you were lying. And I knew it. I asked you over and over. And you started crying a bit but saying "I DONT WANT to talk about it!" And you said talking about things makes them real and you don't want to feel. I said I'm your boyfriend and you can't keep hiding R. Cause you'd been hiding everything between you two for the past month+. And I've become fed up with it. I can't do that. I don't fuck with secrets. And so you really put up an act. Started crying. Then after so much, you finally said "ok ok... It's just that me... And... Me and R... Well... We're..." And you sat on my lap as you are crying. I just want the truth. You said finally "me and R aren't going to be friends anymore" and you went into other stories about how y'all were bestfriends and at the other bestfriends wedding you all said you'd be BFF for life and meant it.

At that point I said... Okay. Alright. Well, then can you just show me the texts she sent? Not all of them, just the literal one you edited, just that, there's like 5 tiny messages there. It's not much. I don't want to scroll through, shit just send me the unedited screenshot.

You STILL WOULDN'T

So my anxiety was sky high. I was already shaking uncontrollably when you had left the room to call "R" and you didn't give a shit. You let me suffer with anxiety. I already HAD anxiety from the abuse at work.

So you still wouldn't let me see the messages. At that point I said okay wtf is really the truth, cause you're just telling me things that are unrelated to what is happening in this moment, to what those texts are actually about and it's dead obvious

So then we're in the bed and you say you don't want to talk about it. You say you don't want to tell me. I ask and ask. Finally you say "R says I'm dating an old man, and that I like old dick" and I was shocked to hear that. I had already said I'm prepared to hear whatever it was so I held back my hurt. I said "okay. So R doesn't like me... So is that what the texts said? Is that what she said to you? But that makes no sense, why would she just text you that and you call her and it be such a big thing? This doesn't make sense... So now that you already told me what she said, can I see the actual texts now? I mean why not, you already told me what it said so just show me" and you said no. You wouldn't show me. And I said I don't trust you at all. And you went into your phone and deleted the whole thread between you and R... Which was suspicious. Well, you actually laid there and deleted individual texts one by one and then showed me. I said what the fuck? It doesn't count as you showing me when YOU DELETE SHIT. wow

And I was already shaking. Well it turned out much later in the future, R had indeed said they about me but she said it in a joking way. Yet you used that on me as if to say she was being cruel. You actually used hardcore attacks against me in order to hide the text messages and the actual truth. And what was the truth? That R wasn't R, and that it was in fact your ex. And yeah, I figured that the text was "baby" and it went on.

You actually prolonged it so much

And you continued to see him after. And you cheated even more. Then kept going to him after making shit physical.

I just want to know why you tried to hurt me when I needed you... Why did you keep lying in a row like that... And then you kept seeing him for months after even after seeing that I caught on and even after you saw how much pain you put me through, like, it was physical, you could SEE my pain, I was shaking. You never once thought of me when you were out with him getting drunk, kissing me, letting him call you baby, who knows what else

I hate you so much for just that.

There was so many incidents

Why did you keep lying? Why did you keep breaking the trust when you SAW I was catching on and already caught on

Why did you try to play me when you couldn't get away with it

But besides that... Why did you try to play me when I was your hubbu... I thought you wanted to take care of me babe... I thought I was yours and my heart was in your hands... I trusted you... Why did you do it?? I cry still

[cocos-cocoapuffsarenotforsale]

Bully

MASTERLIST

Pairings: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader, Dad!Tony x Daughter!Reader

Warnings: Bullying, swearing, slight angst, fluff, kinda cheesy, teen!reader, use of the word slut, and idk what else, basically ends with ridiculous fluff

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey Y/n you wanna go see a movie tonight with Ned and Katie?” Your boyfriend Peter asks you. Peter and you had been dating for just over a year much to your father’s dismay at the beginning. Tony Stark, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist and way to overprotective father.

Ned was Peter’s best friend and he was great, he was a super great guy and he had always been nice to you and you knew he was always there for Peter. But Katie on the other hand was horrible. She had been Ned’s “girlfriend” for the past couple months. But you were pretty sure she was just using Ned to get closer to Peter. Everyone knew she had a huge crush on Peter since the news of him being Spider-Man broke last summer. Katie also would use any excuse to get you alone and threaten or bully you. You hadn’t said anything because you weren’t totally sure they would believe you and you definitely couldn’t tell your father because he would go ballistic.

“You know Peter I’m really not feeling that great. Plus I have this huge paper for English to write. So I think I’ll pass.” You lie, god you hated lying to him. Peter was such a great guy but you couldn’t tell him the truth. Either he wouldn’t believe you and think you were a possessive bitch or he would believe you and he would tell Ned and break his heart.

“Are you sure? We haven’t really hung out in awhile outside of the compound.” Peter had moved into the compound last summer after news broke of him being Spider-Man. Your father had set up a small apartment like area for him and his Aunt May.

“Maybe next time. Have fun sweetheart.” You reply pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

“Alright. I love you.” Peter says before shutting the door. You just mumble something unintelligible. Your phone chimes a few minutes later. It’s a text. From Katie.

Fuck. What does she want now? You think to yourself. She had already sent you a text earlier telling you if you came to the movie tonight you wouldn’t wake up tomorrow morning.

I see you’re learning Slutty Stark. Don’t worry about Peter I’ll take good care of him tonight...and every other night. You might as well break up with him now. Save yourself some heartbreak before you dumps you for me. Plus then I’ll get to be there to pick up the pieces for him. Xoxo Bitch, Katie.

You feel tears burn your eyes and before you can stop them the tears are streaming down your face. You can’t just sit here and cry, so you decide to go for a run around the compound. You leave your phone on your bed not wanting to think about that Katie bitch anymore. You pass by your father and Peter and when they try to talk to you you just start running like your life depended on it.

PETER’S POV

“Hey Mr. Stark can I talk to you for a minute?” I ask him after I leave Y/n’s room. She was really starting to worry me lately and this was the final straw. For the first few months everything was great between us but lately she’s been pulling away and I’m worried about her. And I know she’s been pulling away from her father a lot lately too, which was even more troubling.

“What do you want Spidey-boy?” Mr. Stark questions with a bored look on his face.

“Do you know what's going on with Y/n lately?”

“She’s been dating you. She’s with you all the time and ditching out on our projects.” He growls at me.

“That doesn’t make any sense, sir. She barely hangs out with me lately other than at school and even then she’s been avoiding me. She’s always saying she’s got homework or she doesn’t feel well. Sir, is she -oh god um-, sir is she going to break up with me?” I ask, my voice cracking. I feel like I can’t breathe at the thought. I love her so much and she’s the best thing that has happened to me, I can’t lose her. What other girl would put up with my dorkiness and my last minute bailing when there’s an emergency mission?

“She what? Why would she be lying to me? She’s literally never lied to me before. I’m gonna go check on her.” Mr. Stark says with concern lacing his voice. Just then a distraught Y/n runs past us with tears streaming down her face. We both go to stop her but she just runs past us quicker.

“See what I mean?” I motion towards her retreating form.

“Yes I do Spidey-boy. FRIDAY!”

“Yes boss?” The AI responses.

“Send Wanda and Nat to go talk to Y/n please.” He commands.

“Right away boss.” FRIDAY complies immediately.

“You and me are gonna go see if we can figure out what’s going on with my kid.” Mr. Stark demands pointing at me. I nod not sure what else to do and I follow him into her room. Her phone is laying on her bed, which was weird because she normally brings it with her. I look at it and I feel my face drain of color.

I see you’re learning Slutty Stark. Don’t worry about Peter I’ll take good care of him tonight...and every other night. You might as well break up with him now. Save yourself some heartbreak before you dumps you for me. Plus then I’ll get to be there to pick up the pieces for him. Xoxo Bitch, Katie.

“Mr. Stark, I think I know what’s wrong.” I motion him towards me and show him the text message. Scrolling up we find many more threatening messages from Katie.

“That little Satan’s spawn is gonna regret ever even seeing my daughter when I’m through with her.” Mr. Stark growls grabbing the phone from my hand and making phone calls with his own. I decide to let him handle it and go find my girl.

YOUR POV

“Y/n, are you alright?” Natasha asks me moving to sit down beside me on one of the benches outside.

“Would you like to talk about it?” Wanda asks me sitting down on my other side.

“This horrible girl has been sending me nasty texts and threatening me. And now she’s trying to make me break up with him.” You sob not being able to keep your emotions in any longer.

“Sweetie why didn’t you tell us?” Nat says pulling your against her and running her hand down your hair soothing you while you sob.

“Because I didn’t know if Peter would believe me and I didn’t want dad to freak out.” You whimper.

“Why would I not believe you?” Peter asked startling you.

“When did you get out here?” You ask trying to decipher what he heard.

“Since Nat and Wanda sat down by you. Y/n why didn’t you tell me?” Peter begged.

“Why don’t we give you two some privacy,” Nat suggests and she and Wanda walk back towards the compound.

“I didn’t think you would believe me. Plus she kept saying if I said anything it would hurt Ned and you would break up with me for hurting him and then she would swoop in and comfort you and she would have you.” You choke out feeling the lump in your throat grow at the thought of Peter being with anyone else.

“Of course I would believe you. Baby girl I love you and I’m not gonna dump you.” He vows taking my hand in his and pressing a soft kiss to the backs of my hands.

“Promise?” You whimper. He wipes the tears off of your cheeks and presses a soft kiss to your forehead.

“I promise baby girl.” He wraps his arms around you and spins you around in a circle.

“Well I got that girl expelled from your school and the police want to know if you would like to press harassment charges?” Your father asks breaking you and Peter from your daydream.

“Isn’t that overkill dad?” You ask a little overwhelmed by the bomb he just dropped.

“Not at all. Sweetheart she threatened your life multiple times. Your school has a zero tolerance policy and it turns out she had already had two other serious strikes on her records so the school decided she should be expelled. And she was threatening you and harassing you, both of which are crimes. So do you want to press charges? Get a restraining order?” The way your dad says it you can tell the restraining order is already a done deal.

“I take it the restraining order is already done?” You ask knowing from the look on his face that your right.

“Yes. I’m not risking you. I’ve bumped up your security and if you ever receive any messages like this again from her or anyone else you are to tell me immediately.” You nod agreeing with your father’s rules.

“I really don’t want to press charges though dad. She already got expelled and now has a restraining order against her, I just don’t think it’s necessary to press charges.” You respond.

“Fine. I guess. I’ll give you two some privacy but just so you know we will be having a long discussion about this tonight kiddo. You should have told me.” Your dad says before walking back inside.

“He’s right you know. You should have told someone.” Peter whispers to you.

“I know but I didn’t want to be a drama queen. I mean I’m surrounded by superheroes, my boyfriend, my dad, and so on and I can’t even handle a teenage girl.” You reply avoiding his gaze.

Peter grabs your chin gently and forces you to look at him. “Hey, that’s enough. You can tell me anything. Don’t ever feel like you have to handle everything by yourself. I’m your boyfriend, your partner in crime, you can depend on me Y/n.” Peter murmurs before he captures your lips with his.

“Your right, I love you Peter Parker.” You say after the two of you break apart.

“I love you too Y/n Stark.” Peter replies holding you tight against him and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.