#(i live in fear of someone one day deciphering my platonic tags-)

[frozenhi-chews]

I should draw Pancake and Ceroba together at some point. They were friends before Pancake met Starlo.

They're a more laid-back and chill friend couple. Making tea and gossiping about things that happened in the Underground. Or walking around different spots like Waterfall or the MTT plaza while chatting.

These two don't go on many high-adrenaline adventures often. They have enough of those via Starlo and the Feisty Four. Sometimes it's just better to sit on a porch, drinking tea, and talking about that one spider one of them found while staying at their grandma's

[inevitably-johnlocked]

((my account is @mymiddlenameslove tumblr is still being weird lol)) do you have any fics where john and sherlock hold hands for the first time? i just love the build up/panic that leads to some good fluff thank you (*´∇｀*)

Hi Lovely!!!

Bah, sorry about Tumblr being dumb!!!!

What a fun fic req!! I know for SURE I’ve missed a lot, so these are either fics I remember have hand-holding, are tagged with it, or I’ve just re-read and found it in there :D Hope you Enjoy!!

HAND HOLDING / for COMFORT

The Four Incidents by TheGirlWithRedHair22 (K+, 1,064 w., 1 Ch. || S1 Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, John Whump, Accident, John POV, Hand Holding, Worried Sherlock, Sherlock’s Self Esteem) – The first time John was present when someone insulted Sherlock, he brushed it off as a strange coincidence.

Peacock by ClassyGirlsWearPearls (T, 1,189 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Cranky Sherlock, Soft John, Hand Holding, Soft Sherlock) – A study in Sherlock and John.

Here to Stay by MockJayPhoenix12 (K, 1,574 w., 1 Ch. || Post Reunion, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Headache, Bed Sharing, Care Taker Sherlock, Hand Holding, Fluff) – On Sherlock's first day home, John wakes with a migraine.

Random Numbers by songlin (T, 1,671 w., 1 Ch. || Ace Sherlock / Straight John, Cuddling / Snuggling, Massage, Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Post-TRF, Slice of Life) – A collection of moments in the relationship of asexual!Sherlock and straight!John.

Giveaway Fic #9 - Angsty Sick Fic/Sherlock is Sick by ConsultingPurplePants (T, 1,734 w., 1 Ch. || Sick Fic, Hypothermia) – The next time he awakens is even more chaotic. Two doctors are shouting at each other in the corner, and John is holding his hand so tightly Sherlock is worried he’ll break it. Part 9 of 1000 Tumblr Followers Giveaway Fics

Once is Enough by Jominerva (T, 3,030 w., 1 Ch. || Love Confessions, Domestic Fluff, Whump) – Just as the earth rises to meet the sun at every mountain crest, John reaches out for Sherlock and takes his hand in his own."Tell me it won't end like this," he says, blue eyes holding grey while he laces their fingers together. Sherlock lets out a shaky laugh and shakes his head. "I wish I could."

holding steady by darcylindbergh (E, 12,724 w., 4 Ch. || Post S4, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Growing Old, Gone Fishing, Mood without Plot, Soft Sherlock, Caring Sherlock, POV John Third Person, Anxious Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Touching, Feeling Old, Sherlock Worship, Crying Sherlock, Cuddles, Comforting, Introspection, Retirement, Hand Holding, Forehead Kisses, Caring John, Bed Sharing, Emotional Love Making) – Sitting on a thick wool blanket at the end of a rickety dock side-by-side, legs dangling over the edge, a styrofoam container of wet, dark dirt between them, they’re fishing. John knows what this is about. This is about finally figuring it out.

A Gossamer Dream by CarmillaCarmine (E, 15,985 w., 4 Ch. || Writer/Teacher AU || First Meetings, Friends to Lovers, Writer John / Teacher Sherlock, Fluff, London, Holding Hands, Online Friendship / Romance, Phone Sex, Anal Sex, Happy Ending, Alternating POV, Scottish John, Online Relationship, Internalized Homophobia, Hand Holding, Forehead Touching, First Kiss/Time, Texting/Sexting, Rimming, Toplock, Sherlock Speaks French) – Sherlock had never realised one could care so much about someone they'd never met in person. Now he is about to meet the friend with whom he's been chatting online for months and his anticipation is reaching a crescendo.

How To Unfold a Heart by elwinglyre (E, 25,477 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It, BAMF John, Mentioned Eurus, POV First Person Sherlock, Case Fic, Fluff, Slow Burn Topping from the Bottom, 3 Yr Old Rosie, Introspection, Sexual Fantasies, John Worship, Ogling, Hand Holding, Kidnapping, Domesticity, Sherlock Whump, First Kiss/Time, Doctor John, Caring John, Soft Sherlock, Sensuality, Touching, Crying, Love Confessions, Anxious Sherlock, Rimming, Toplock, Fingering, Bossy Bottom John) – To Sherlock’s dismay, John’s return to Baker Street with Rosie is only temporary. Sherlock’s daily visits to Regent Park with John and Rosie illuminate his lost childhood memories and missed opportunities. But with each trip to the park, Sherlock also feels a growing sense of hope. That is until the past horrors return unexpectedly in a cryptic note folded in the shape of a heart. To decipher the message, Sherlock must uncover the nature of the hearts around him, including his own.

Insanity in the Middle by DotyTakeThisDown (E, 28,010 w., 8 Ch. || Equestrian Sports AU || Alternate First Meeting, POV John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Clueless Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Passionate Kisses, Hand Holding, Caught Making Out, Bed Sharing, Spooning, Blow Job) – John is a world-class eventing rider with a gold medal and several four-star wins to his credit, but he's never won at Rolex. Sherlock is an up-and-coming rider taking the sport by storm.

Lucifer's Gardens by ampersand_ch (E, 32,679 w., 12 Ch. || GERMAN VERSION || Romance, Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Murder, Poison / Drugging, Mystery, John Undercover, Academic Club, Therapy, Rituals, Jungian Archetypes, Doctors & Physicians, Grief/Mourning, Esotericism, Hospitals, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, John Falls In Love With Another Man, Jealous Sherlock, Crying, Doctor John, Hand Holding, First Kiss/Time, Mysticism, Hugging, Touching) – John goes undercover for an investigation as a favour to Lestrade in a village in Suffolk. The events surrounding the case awaken deep-seated fears in Sherlock. While John begins to come to a realisation of what he needs in Lucifer's Gardens, Sherlock tries to find a way to reach John – in more ways than one.

A Promise Made to Be Broken by PlantsAreNeat (E, 37,018 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Pining, Slow Burn, RST, Eventual Relationship, POV Sherlock) – A young John makes an ‘if we’re still single at 40, we’ll get together’ pledge to a woman who ends up all wrong for him. She keeps reminding him of the promise, and won’t let go of it. John asks Sherlock to pose as his boyfriend at a family wedding, so as to dash her hopes permanently. Sherlock, who has at last acknowledged his feelings for John, reluctantly agrees despite knowing how painful it will be to ‘have’ John, but not keep him.

A Love with No Name Series by aceofhearts61 (G to M, 49,955 w. across 20 stories || Asexual Sherlock / Straight John, Est. Rel, Queerplatonic Relationship, Romance, Cuddling, Fluff, Platonic Romance, Domestics, Rape/Non-Con) – In which Asexual!Sherlock and Straight!John are platonically in love life partners.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

The Lost Special: Family Matters (As Do Relationships) by ShirleyCarlton  (M, 144,688 w., 40 Ch. || S4 Fix It Fic / Meta Fic, Unreliable Narrator, John’s Mind Bungalow, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Demisexual Sherlock, Holmes Family, John Whump, Gay Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Drug Addiction, Parenting, TFP is a Nightmare, Virgin Sherlock, Slow Burn, Minor Character Death, Switchlock, John’s Past, Sherlock’s Past, Eurus, Love Confessions) – Sherrinford is not really the name of some high security prison. That was just a figment of John’s frantic coma dream. And Eurus is not actually Sherlock’s sister. That’s just something random she said to John before shooting him. Sherlock and John were never actually estranged. That was just their act to cover up what really happened to Mary – or Rosamund Moran, as her real name has turned out to be. Sherlock does have a secret sibling, though, and his name is Sherrinford. After finally eliminating Moran – though in a rather dramatically different way than they had envisioned – and exposing the truth about Eurus, John encourages Sherlock to delve into his past and to find out whether the reasons to keep Sherrinford away from Sherlock were the right ones, and to discover what really happened in 1981. Along the way, Sherlock and John gradually, finally, stop keeping each other at a distance, and eventually become a proper family of their own.

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

Unkissed Series by 221b_hound (T to E, 184,100 w. across 45 works || Established Relationship, Ace Sherlock) – Sherlock returned from the dead a year ago. John returned to Baker Street six months ago. They've been in a couple since then. or at least, not NOT a couple. For two smart men, they sure can be dumb. Luckily, an art thief tries to drown Sherlock, Sherlock has a fever dream and things are about to change.

[sofiaaaaaaaa03]

Teaching Din Earth Music

Pairing: Din djarin x earthling!gn!teen reader (platonic)

Word count: 1,151

Rating: G

Scenario: You try to teach Din about earth music during one of your trips.

Authors Note: Hey lovelies, I hope you're having an amazing day. Please remember to drink water and eat something. I hope you guys enjoy this, sorry it's a bit tiny :)

Ever since Din caught you listening to earth music you’d grown more comfortable playing it while he was on board. On particularly long trips you made it a habit to put on some music to make the ride more entertaining. It was really only used when the two of you were too exhausted from chores or missions to bother making conversation. You enjoyed it, really. It reminded you of your home and your time on Earth. Now more than ever, wherever you go you notice the absence of music in the strange, hostile planets Din takes you compared to where it always seemed to follow you on Earth, playing in the air of cafes, stores, restaurants, and oh the car rides you and your friends used to share.

A tight lipped smile spread across your features. You wondered how they were doing. It’s not everyday your friend mysteriously disappears, let alone getting stranded in space in your case. But you consider yourself lucky. You glanced towards the Mandalorian beside you, piloting the ship. He’s shown you kindness in many ways, and took you in while you try to find Earth. It was a planet Din was unfamiliar with, even going as far as to say that it was considered a myth across many cultures in the galaxy. It would have been a waste of time for him to go out of his way to follow a silly fantasy. However, you could only assume something about you reminded him about himself when he was young, because despite this, he trusted your word, and genuinely wanted to help you return home.

In some weird trade off, you taught Din things about your home planet that were foreign and honestly strange in his opinion. A world where a majority of its denizens remain on-planet the entire time? He couldn’t believe it. He simply refused the concept of social media and antagonized the habits of posting oneself on vacation. Something about exposing your location. You didn’t mind it all too much to be honest.

Your favorite thing to teach him was earth music. It was so much more distinctive to the music you heard around the galaxy, where saloons played Jizz like there was no tomorrow. It was good music, you’ll admit, but nothing was like the variety of the music back home.

The data pad Din lent you laid on the ship’s mainframe, “Okay okay. You’re probably not going to like this since you have the mentality of a 40 year old man, but hear these out. A lot of people my age enjoy these songs back at home.”

It was natural to begin with songs that were trending the last time you were on earth. Din enjoyed some of the more upbeat songs, like Tongue Tied by a group called Grouplove.

“This is what we consider a coming of age song.”

Din gave you a questioning look and you continued. “On Earth we pass our time watching movies, stories acted out by humans that are recorded on a camera.”

“Your planet has too much time on their hands…”

“C’mon Din it’s not like everyone does it!” You defended, “People do it for a job, and only qualified people can. Anyways, that’s not the point. Some movies I grew up with have a point where the main character suddenly grows up, not age wise but mentally. Usually it's through conquering a fear or obstacle in the movie, and when that happens we-”

“Put a song like this in the movie?”

You made a little scoff, “Yeah, in the movie.”

“I suppose… it does evoke emotions like it wants you to. Put on another song, maybe one adults listen to.”

You paused for a moment to recollect the songs your parents would play back at home. They had a variety of artists that they listened to, but you smiled and tapped the data pad to play a song you think Din may like.

It seemed that The Chain by Fleetwood Mac intrigued Din, who tilted his head as the melody began. You waited until the chorus ended to ask Din of his opinion. He gave a nonchalant shrug and claimed that it was interesting before asking you to put on another song.

“Is this really what people my age listen to?”

“Honestly most men I’ve met your age listen to hard rock, but it’s their taste!”

“Earthlings listen to a rock?” Din turned to you in surprise and shook his head. He took the data pad from its place and looked through the playlist you were making. “No wonder you haven’t been off-planet yet.”

You took the data pad back from him and stuck your tongue at him, “I’ll have you know that 553 of us humans have been to space, thank you.”

You tried a couple of Journey songs, some that Din asked you to write down for him to listen to later, and showed some Queen classics. You noticed that Din wasn’t much of a fan for songs that were fan favorites like We Will Rock You or Bohemian Rhapsody (You genuinely thought you’d get him for the last one. All of your schoolmates would go nuts for that song) , but he did enjoy other classics like Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy, Fat-Bottomed Girls, and Radio Ga Ga.

“What were some songs you heard growing up?”

“Hm… to be honest I don’t remember all of them. The music all seems like a blur to be honest, guess that’s what happens when you grow up, things become a blur. Anyways,” You listed off some songs, making small talk about it but caught Din’s look of confusion and decided to play some off for him.

The razor crest was filled with a large assortment of music, ranging from ABBA to Harry Styles. Some songs, Din could get the concept very easily by listening to the lyrics while in others he asked you about its meaning. Songs about love, you’d noticed, were the hardest for him to decipher, even if the lyrics were plain as day.

After some time, you decided to ask him about it while Dancing Queen was on.

“I don’t understand,” You turned your attention to Din when he spoke, “If they want to dance with someone they should just go find someone. What’s the point of singing about it?”

You “They’re not singing about dancing with just anybody. They want to dance with someone who will be with them for the rest of their lives. Their special somebody. Y’know?”

“Hm.” He didn’t make another comment. There was nothing to fill the void aside from the occasional beeping of machinery. You wondered what was on his mind as you stared at the helmet that obscured his face. Come to think of it, you don’t know what he’s thinking even when he has his helmet off.

You broke the silence.

“Din?”

“Hm?”

“Have you ever found your special somebody?”

...

Tag List:

@sagedgeek @kiara-is-gay @jupitersmooneuropa

[cloudykaii]

Care

pairing: bts x eighth member!reader [platonic]

summary:  omg i just real some of your eight member scenarios and eveerything was so good!! i wasnt into eight member things before but now.. im super in! 😭 can you do a scenario about compilation of the members little caring act on stage, backstage, when theres camera or not, something like that to the eight members?? if you make it then i would be so delighted. than you !!

warnings: none, it’s just really fluff :( some of it might not make sense, but i really love this

A lot of things could be said about your brothers. Each and every one of them had their moments and mistakes, just like you did. Some people would call them rude, or selfish amongst other things, but the one thing they could never say, is that they didn’t care about you. ARMY pointed it out all the time; they even had compilations of moments the eight of you cared for each other, but your favorite were the ones titled things like: “six minutes of proof that bts’ world revolves around y/n.”

Jin jumped as your head fell against his bicep. You were at an afterparty for an awards show the eight of you had been asked to present at. The music wasn’t too loud- you used to joke that it was because everyone knew rich people liked to brag. You had no idea where the rest of your brothers were but you and Jin had been perched on the oddly comfortable sofa as he socialized. He could feel your hairpins digging into his shoulder. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” You didn’t answer and he moved slightly so that he could reach across and tap your arm, but you moved with him. He felt your even breathing and sighed. You still had around two hours left before they could leave. 

One of the girls he had been talking to chuckled as you gave a tiny shiver in your sleep. “She must be tired.”

He smiled at her before slipping off his blazer to cover you with it. “She works hard, sometimes I think she works harder than the rest of us,” he chuckled, pulling you closer so that he could make sure she was comfortable. 

No one knows how a fan account had that video trending on twitter under the hashtag #BabyY/N three days later. 

✦✧✦✧

One bad thing about being the only girl in an idol group, is that sometimes you get the least amount of consideration. Not because they didn’t respect you or anything like that, it’s just that after styling for seven boys, you think sometimes the staff tends to forget you are not a guy, or maybe they had never seen a girl in real life.

Or at least that’s what the short dress you were wearing had you feeling like. It’s not like it wasn’t pretty, a black skirt and connected by a thin, white lacy strip that wrapped around your abdomen. It was gorgeous, and the silky ribbon of a choker around your neck made it look even better, but it was just.. so short. 

You powered through like a trooper, despite the fear in the back of your mind that you were flashing the entire audience while you danced. The minute the song stopped and everyone moved to get a drink of water, Yoongi was taking his jacket off and tying it around your waist. 

Not speaking into the mic, you let him do as he wanted but asked, “Are you even allowed to do that? Won’t the stylist say something about how you ruined her outfit?”

Tightening the knot of material, he rolled his eyes. “Honestly, I don’t give a fuck what the stylist has to say right now. Not only is your outfit not okay, but it’s obviously making you uncomfortable. You can wear this until the next outfit change.”

“Thank you,” you hugged him briefly, glad he had your back. 

✦✧✦✧

There was a time where you guys were recording a live during a long break while at practice. Fans talked about it for ages afterwards. Taehyung sat against one of the mirrors, holding his phone, while Jimin was in the picture beside him. 

“Basically, that’s it. We haven’t really-”

“Y/N, stop running around, you’re going to hurt yourself!” Jimin’s voice cut in, making the other man look over. 

“What is she doing?”

Jimin huffed, “I have no idea, but she’s going to- Y/N, at least t- no actually come here, I’ll do it for you.”

And when you bounced into the view of the camera, only for all the fans to see Jimin pulling your foot to him so he could tie your shoe. “Be careful this time, even if you’re playing tag.”

✦✧✦✧ 

Jeongguk laughed at the camera, the comments being ridiculous. He was doing a live, answering questions about the embarrassing moments he chose to talk about. “No, it was funny! He fell, but then he tried to play it off by doing pushups, but he feel while trying to do that, so-”

He heard the door open in the background, and the camera saw him turn to the side just before he let out an “oomf.” The side profile of your face was visible to the viewers as you moved to curl against him on the bed. You rubbed your eyes sleepily, and he frowned. “It’s really late, you’re supposed to be asleep.”

You mumbled, “I was, but then I got scared and woke up. I didn’t want to be alone.” He pouted at that. You tended to have nightmares whenever you were stressed, and since he was the one who found out about them first, he was usually the person you ran to. 

“Do you wanna sleep in here?” He asked softly. Everyone tuned in could hear everything, but your brother barely remembered that he was even recording as he fussed over you. You nodded, already drifting off on his shoulder. He smiled down at you before turning back to the camera. He read the many comments of everyone cooing over you. “Yeah, she’s alright. I’ll tell her to tell you guys herself tomorrow. Anyways..” 

✦✧✦✧

Of course, there were incidents that were more serious. 

The sun was setting, which made the perfect picture for the shoot you guys were about to do. The rooftop everyone was on was beautiful and stone, the kind of background you saw in movies. The sun seemed to glitter, and the wind made everything sway until the lake’s seemingly glittering waves caught your eye. “Whoa,” you gasped, moving closer to get a look.

“Y/N-”

You waved off Taehyung’s warning. “I’ll be careful! I just want to get a closer look!” You walked back over to the edge, admiring the way the sun sparkled on the water. You subconsciously leaned closer, moving your body a little too far against the thin railing, but before you could topple over, a hand grabbed the back of your jacket with a tight grip, yanking you back until you were a good distance away from the railing. 

Your back hit someone else’s and you recognized Taehyung as you turned to see him. He stared down at you. “I said be careful!” 

“I’m sorry,” you said a little shakily. Taehyung sighed before pulling you back into a hug. “Having a little sister is so hard, you’re not leaving my sight for the rest of the day.”

✦✧✦✧

Another moment fans loved to talk about actually happened at a fansign. You smiled brightly as the next fan came up to you, following the line. “Hello!” you greeted happily. 

Something about this girl threw you off though, and the look in her eyes had you unintentionally leaning away from her. You couldn’t decipher it, but when nothing happened, you told yourself you were just overthinking it. She was probably just excited to meet what could have been her favorite artist group, right? 

You stood by Hoseok as the fansign ended, moving to follow him out of then venue. He chuckled as he looked at you. “You have that look.”

You wrinkled your nose. “What look?” 

“The one that says you’re hungry,” he teased, poking you in the stomach, making you whine. “Well, maybe-”

“Y/N!” You turned around, cutting yourself off mid sentence, to see the fan from earlier. “I found you.” Her smile was a little too bright as she reached for you, only for Hoseok to push you behind him as you stuttered out, “I’m sorry, we really have to go.” 

You moved to attempt to leave after that, but her demeanor quickly changed. Her face changed from too happy and delighted, to dark and angry. Her eyes narrowed, and she reached for you more aggressively this time. “Don’t be son ungrateful,” she squeezed your wrist painfully and you cried out as security finally made their way over. 

Hoseok immediately pulled you to him, looking at the rapidly forming bruise on your wrist. Even though at the moment, it was just a large red mark, his face still tightened. “This never should have happened,” he cursed when he noticed tears in your eyes. 

He pulled you into a hug as he waited for the rest of your brothers to show up. “It won’t happen again,” he promised you. 

✦✧✦✧

The moment that was probably the most talked about, was when a talk show host felt the need to ask you how it felt. Namjoon shared a glance with you. 

“Excuse me?” you asked timidly, straightening up. 

The interviewer turned to you. “Oh, you speak English! I was just asking how it felt to be so similar to a child all the time.” The man’s tone of voice didn’t even change, but the idea that he had expected Namjoon to translate this to you, and now casually asked you as if there was nothing wrong with the question. “You know, they’re always taking care of you, it makes it seem like you can’t do anything by yourself. Does it ever irritate you?”

You tried laughing it off, the chuckle leaving your lips as you ticked a strand of hair behind your ear awkwardly. “Not really. They’re not doing anything to be condescending, and I know that.”

“Do you feel like that is because you need their help?”

“That’s enough,” Namjoon cut in, his jaw clenched as he slid forward a little in his seat as if to help get his point across. “Y/N is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. We pitch in to check on her because we love and care about her, and she does the same for us. She is not a child but a grown woman who we love and care about enough to make sure she’s okay and gets the nice treatment she deserves. With all due respect, if you insult our sister again, we will be forced to cut this short.”

You looked over to him, offering a silent thank you as the interviewer coughed, trying to recover. The bad news was that this interview was live, so he really couldn’t do anything but sit there and realized he had just embarrassed himself. 

Honestly, what else is there to say? You loved and cared about your brothers, and they loved and cherished you. 

[jbbarnesnnoble]

Where the Moonlight Shines (Part Four)

Summary:  You’re a junior deputy in Hope County, Montana when things go to hell in a handbasket with the local cult. It’s months before help arrives in the form of the Avengers, taking you down a road you never expected.

Chapter Summary: In the aftermath of the battle, you learn what comes next for you and your friends and what happened to Faith. 

Features: Mentions of canon typical violence, torture, and brainwashing

Pairing: Platonic!Natasha/Reader; Platonic!Wanda/Reader; eventual Platonic!Bucky/Reader

Series Warnings: Canon typical violence; depictions/mentions of torture; depictions/mentions of brainwashing; will add more as they become relevant

Notes: As always, listen to the warnings. I have two outtakes planned at the moment, including one that is an offshoot from this chapter

This is a crossover between Far Cry 5 and the MCU

Word Count: 2256

The sky was streaked with pink and orange as the sun began to rise above the horizon. You sat in a rocking chair on the front porch of the Rye home, baby Carmina sleeping in your arms. Kim was getting some much needed rest and Nick was still helping with the emergency response in the form of getting people set up in the abandoned houses that now dotted the county, starting in Holland Valley. Your rag-tag team was helping in any way they could. Mary May and Jerome were putting together a list of names of people who were unaccounted for. Grace had taken Boomer with her when she went to help see if there were any holdouts from the cult hiding out in bunkers. 

You, Staci, and Joey were the only ones who were being forced to sit on the sidelines. You did your best to soothe him. You wished your powers could heal the mind, if only to help him. He had been your first love, when you were younger and held so much optimism. You heard Natasha before she sat down beside you, a cup of coffee in hand. Wanda had arrived with Bucky not long after Natasha had brought you back to the Rye’s. You had had a difficult night sleeping, plagued by nightmares and the fear that victory was only a dream. 

“How do you feel about New York?” Natasha asked, before taking a sip of her cup of coffee. You glanced at her.

“I’ve been a few times,” you said.

“How would you feel about living there, at least temporarily?” she asked. You frowned. You took one of Carmina’s tiny hands in yours, smiling as the sleeping infant grasped one of your fingers. You needed the distraction. You had a feeling you knew where Natasha was going with her line of questioning.

“This is my home,” you told her. The other woman let out a sigh, remaining silent for a moment as she thought about her next words. 

“You’re enhanced. The therapy you’re going to be going through...it's intense,” she told you. You looked at her, your expression neutral.

“You think I’ll hurt someone,” you said. 

“We can’t rule out the possibility. If you were a normal civilian, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Most of those affected by Jacob’s brainwashing will be treated here in Montana. You’re the only one we know of who is enhanced,” she said. 

“This is my home. They need me,” you said, before standing up to head inside as Carmina began to fuss. 

As you moved about your day, you found yourself lost in thought. Joey and Staci were heading to Missoula in the afternoon. It was amazing how quickly Stark’s money could get something set up. You supposed the Avengers had a plan for these kinds of things after Sokovia. You remembered hearing about the response team on the news, in what felt like a lifetime ago. You didn’t want to leave your home. You knew Staci would be taken care of, but you worried. You worried about Hudson, about Staci, about everyone. No part of the county had been untouched by the madness. 

You had moved to Hope County to stay off the Avengers radar, only to end up on it anyway. Avengers had been in and out of the Rye home, which had become a base of operations for them and for the Resistance. You had spent part of your day writing down locations where you knew bodies were buried, because you had buried them. Your Aunt Rae-Rae. Your cousin Ryan. Eli. A list of the dead on your side, the ones you knew of. You wrote down what had happened to the group that had come through looking for a man’s sister. 

Staci stood, a shell of himself, with Joey’s arm around him. They were by the car the would be taking them to Missoula.

“Stay safe Rook. Stay in touch,” Joey said. You nodded.

“You have my number. My e-mail. I’ll get you my address too,” you said softly. 

“I’m going to go check in with Captain Rogers. Agent Barton is driving us up with that Spiderkid,” she said. You nodded, pulling her into a hug. You knew what she was doing. You watched as she walked toward where the Captain stood before you turned your attention to Staci. He had wrapped his arms around himself. 

“It’s going to be okay, Pratt. I promise,” you whispered as you pulled him into a hug.

“You don’t know that,” he said.

“It’s over. We won. We’re safe. Jacob can’t hurt us anymore. These people are here to help us. The world’s top specialists are here to help us, Staci. The Seeds will never hurt us again, I promise you,” you said. You felt his shoulders shake as he let out a sob that rocked his too thin frame. You held him tight, a few tears of your own falling. You were trying to stay strong. For Staci. For Joey. For everyone around you. You were their leader. 

Goodbyes were hard. Part of you was afraid you wouldn’t see either of your friends again. Security had been hard to come by in the months since the Seeds had taken over. Security in food. Security in knowing things would be okay. As the car disappeared from view, you went for a walk on the property. You had a tree you liked to sit under. It had enough cover around it that you wouldn’t be seen by any Peggie patrols in the area, something that you didn’t have to worry about anymore. 

You found yourself thinking of Burke. The damned fool who had set into motion the series of events that led to this all. Part of you wondered if Cameron Burke had never set foot in Hope County things wouldn’t have gone south the way they had. You knew in your heart that it would have happened, with or without him. The cult had become more brazen in the days leading up to the attempted arrest. Three bodies had turned up in the span of a week and getting a warrant for the Seed properties had been a struggle with how many connections John Seed had made in the county. They had been taunting the Sheriff’s Department. 

You stood up sometime later, brushing the dirt from your pants. You needed to walk. You needed a distraction from the thoughts that raced around in your head. You knew someone had been watching you from a distance. Someone was always watching you. You understood why. But that didn’t mean you liked it. 

While you needed to escape your thoughts, you needed to talk too. You needed someone to reassure you. Someone to tell you that you’d be okay, that no matter what happened next, you’d be able to return home in the end. You spotted Wanda Maximoff not far from you, keeping a polite distance while keeping you in her line of vision. 

“Wanda?” you called. She looked at you, and you took a breath before continuing as she moved toward you. You felt at ease with her. From the moment you’d met before everything came to a head, you’d felt safe with her. 

“Wanda...will I be...will I be allowed to leave? After I’m fixed...if I’m ever fixed?” you asked. She looked surprised at your question. You hadn’t brought up the topic of your conversation with Natasha with anyone. You knew when you’d be leaving, but that was the extent. 

“You aren’t a prisoner,” she said. You looked at her with a look she couldn’t decipher. Your thoughts were a jumbled mess, like a puzzle that was difficult to put together. 

“I sure feel like one with a babysitter every time I want to take a moment to myself,” you said. She sighed. 

“It’s for your safety and that of others. We’ve tracked down each person who...who completed the trials and survived the fight. They’ve been secured. We’re going to get them help, get you help. We have experience with this,” she said.

“Why aren’t they coming too? Why am I the only one going to New York?” you asked. 

“I thought you and Natasha talked about this,” she said, confusion evident in her expression. You nodded.

“We did. I understand why I’m going to New York. I don’t understand why I’m the only one,” you said. 

“You’ve got powers. You pose far more danger to civilian doctors than the others. It won’t be just civilian doctors, but it’s safer for you to be treated under the supervision of the Avengers. We have the facilities to handle anything that happens during your recovery. These people, their lives are here. Families are here. Some are from out of state, yes, but it will be easier in the long term to have them in one location to monitor progress. You’re an exception,” she said. You sighed. As much as you wanted to argue, you knew people far more qualified than you were making the decisions. You had another pressing question, one you weren’t sure you wanted the answer to. 

“I have another question. Did Faith survive?” you asked. She looked surprised at the question.

“I’m sorry,” she said. You nodded. Rachel Jessop had been one of your best friends in the county before she got caught up with the cult. You wanted to cry, but your tears had long since dried. You had all been pawns in Joseph’s twisted game. 

“We were friends...when we were kids I mean. Before all this. I tried to convince her to leave once, in person. Jacob had brought me with him to a meeting. I had only just finished the trials. I was told to help Faith with something and I tried to talk her into leaving, into taking me with her. She slapped me and told me I should stop thinking like that, and that eventually I’d see that Joseph was right. She didn’t tell Jacob. A small act of mercy. I’d tried it when she had me in Bliss a couple times, but she was always able to redirect me then,” you said. 

“You would have been punished?” she asked. You let out a small laugh. It held not emotion, only the resignation that came with the reality you had faced. 

“I’d be lucky if I survived. You don’t...you didn’t leave the Project alive. The times I was back with the Resistance...it was because Jacob allowed it. It was a cat and mouse game. He’d catch me, chip away more at conditioning me, and let me go back until he called me back again,” you said. 

The two of you continued to walk in silence after that. You felt more at ease around her. You knew of her powers, she had been upfront about it when she introduced herself to you. You wondered how she was coping with this all. It couldn’t have been easy for her to be around all of the suffering, around the pain caused by the Seed family. But you didn’t feel like it was your place to ask her about it. As the sun started sinking below the horizon, you felt at peace for the first time since everything started. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The journey to the Avengers compound the next morning  was quiet. You had been in contact with family, letting them know you were alive. You weren’t okay. You were far from it. You found yourself humming as you went through messages and emails on your phone. It was a new one Stark had given you. You pulled up a news article about what had happened in Hope County. 

‘What Happened in Hope County? More Questions than Answers as Press Conference Planned’ 

‘Who Were the Resistance? A Look at Hope County’s Heroes’ 

‘Terror in Montana: Religious Terrorism in the US’ 

‘Who is Rook?’

‘Stark Declines Comment on Hope County’

‘Feds REFUSED to Help Hope County’

‘President Set to Hold Conference Call with Survivors Amid Controversy Over Decision to Postpone Visit to the Region’ 

“You shouldn’t read that,” Natasha said from beside you as she glanced at your screen. Someone had spoken about you to the media. Said you were Jacob’s trained attack dog, a cold-blooded killer, that you should be locked up instead of with the Avengers. Your shoulders slumped. 

“They aren’t wrong. The things I did,” you said.

“It wasn’t you. The only people to blame are the Seeds,” she said. You shook your head.

“I could have fought harder. I could have done more,” you said.

“Even the strongest can fall victim to people like that. What matters is they’re gone. We’re going to help you. I can’t promise you’ll go back to how things were, but I can promise you that you’ll have support,” she said. Natasha glanced at Bucky as she spoke. You couldn’t imagine what it was like for him once they’d learned what Jacob had been doing. You knew enough about his background to know that he’d been brainwashed and controlled by Hydra. 

When the jet landed, you were escorted to medical. There, you met Dr. Cho, along with Princess Shuri of Wakanda. Shuri, you were told, was responsible for the recovery of Sergeant Barnes. It appeared she was the only person the Avengers trusted to help you recover, given the circumstances. 

“It won’t be easy, but you will recover, I promise you,” Shuri said to you. You nodded. There was only one path you could take, and it was forward.

[galaxysedginess]

Bonds of Choice

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Rey & Ben Solo, Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey

Characters: Rey (Star Wars), Ben Solo, Finn (Star Wars), Poe Dameron

Additional Tags: Spoilers, Sad with a Happy Ending, Somber Feelings All Around, Restarting the Jedi Yet Again, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Friendship/Love, Maybe Romance Maybe Platonic, Force Bond (Star Wars), There Are More Important Things Than Blood and Force Bonds, pre-ending, Sort of Mid-Canon

Ao3 Link

She'd always felt alone and in that loneliness, she'd assumed that made her no one. There had never been any other sense of belonging except for the vestiges of home she'd made from the bonds of denial. Each portion of that denial was marked with a little white line on the interior of her scrap metal sleeping quarters. Where one saw scrap metal, another saw a relic of war, and while one saw war, she saw the closest thing she'd ever had to home.

But there'd always been a sense of purpose saddled with that loneliness. She believed it was the sureness that her parents would return, despite not remembering enough to give any merit to that belief. Still, she clung to it when the days were blistering and the nights got cold. When no one came, she did not let it harden her, because regardless of the gnawing desolation that crept up on her, she instead pushed through with the iron will of someone that was meant to belong somewhere... To someone. She just had to earn it.

In her death, Rey did not feel alone nor did she feel the blackness that she saw on the island. A white light encapsulated her with quiet warmth that flooded through her senses. She could taste the happiness of those that came before her, smell the sweet fragrance of victory, feel the sparks of alignment with the force, hear the calm fluidity of passing breaths, and see the grandeur of belonging in those that welcomed her. They stood next to each other- the only one who she knew was Luke Skywalker, but each still felt like family with mirth in their eyes at seeing her.

It was Luke who spoke and while she could not hear the words, she could read his lips, "Not yet."

And before she could decipher what that meant, she more or less saw the air rush into her lungs before she actually felt it. Gone were the smiling faces and the sense of fluidity. Where there was once light, there was Ben.

In a sense, thanks to the efforts of a mother's love and his own nagging perseverance, he was a rekindled light. A flood of emotions overcame her before she could stop them- alleviation, humility, euphoria, pride, gratitude- and could not settle on what to say, but just that she needed to share them. And who better than the person that saved her life?

In an act of sheer relief, she kissed him, because they'd done it. It was a kiss of pure celebration for the perseverance of light, a mother's love, and a rebellion's resolve. A smile tugged on their lips during the whole duration, giddy in the war they'd just won- both internally and externally. The air was still and their surroundings still cold and infused with a darkness that lingered in the air, but they deliberately ignored that.

It was also a kiss for goodbyes, one of which, she did not realize, would be the person who saved her life.

Despite the tragedy that lie in the conundrum that was Ben Solo's life and ultimate sacrifice, she could not bring herself to feel sad. With the sense that Leia had also disappeared into the force alongside him, she knew he was still not alone in death. She was unsure if she could say the same for herself.

Where fear once took residence, only was there longing. Longing to be home.

Upon her return to base, she took a moment and released a heavy sigh. She did not realize how terribly she needed to see Finn and Poe until she spotted them through an array of celebratory embraces. Time seemed to stop as she met Finn's eyes and he smiled at her through tears of his own and without thinking, she was moving towards them in tandem. Before she could stop them the tears were already there and both men had her enveloped in a hug that felt closer to home than any scrap of metal ever had.

"I told him you'd make it back in one piece." Out of the three of them, this had been Poe's fight the longest and had been inherited from his parents. Her heart sang at the thought of none of that being in vain. He squeezed her hand before disentangling himself from the hug. He clamped Finn on the back and smiled through tear-stained eyes before joining Zorii and Connix, who'd managed to find a bottle of champagne somewhere in reserves.

She was relieved to relish in the truth that they’d all made it with her dearest friend. He tightened his hold on her, but it didn’t hurt. Bred to be a killer for a collective evil as he may be, Finn had the touch of a gentle poet. She didn’t know how he did it, but he had this way of easing her nerves without truly being able to understand them.

There was a flutter in her stomach- not entirely foreign by nature but startling her from their bubble all the same. He needed to hear her assurance as much as feel it.

Rey, in spite of herself, still did not have the words to describe what had happened to her. She knew she'd eventually tell them everything in a tumble of excitement or nerves from the fight to Ben's redemption to the voices of the Jedi to Ben's sacrifice. She wanted them to know not only because they deserved the truth, but because it was just as much their story as it was hers or Ben's.

Luckily, Finn spoke instead. "Is Ren dead?"

She pulled back to look at him through glassy eyes. "In more ways than one."

He tilted his head curiously, unsure of how to respond to that, though she knew he ultimately understood what she was alluding to. "And Palpatine?"

"Dead... In just the literal way."

He breathed out a shaky laugh that she returned.

She felt her heart clench. Nerves. It had to begin somewhere. "His bloodline, however... Lives on."

He furrowed his brow intently before raising them in realization. "You don’t mean... You're...?"

She winced as she let go of him and averted her gaze to their muddy shoes. She could bear many judgements, but she was not sure if she could handle Finn’s. Two firm hands gripped her shoulders and steadied her.

"If we found out tomorrow that my birth family was actually a bunch of crimelords that specialized in something unfathomable like trafficking children, would you look at me any differently?"

She frowned, "Of course not!"

"Then why should I think of you as anything other than the same caring, loyal, bad-freaking-ass Jedi who chased me down with a stick?"

The bubble of hot emotion popped in her throat and she laughed, "Because I have evolved to lightsabers, thank you."

"So, if I were to go through your quarters I wouldn't find your big staff?"

She rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't dare."

"You're right. You're stronger with the force than me."

Rey immediately snapped out of her reverie and took a moment to drink in just what he was hinting at. His composure had flipped somewhere in the midst of their banter to something akin to nervousness.

"At first, I thought it was just intuition, you know?" He shrugged, "But there are just some things that have to be more than luck, right? Like... I knew in my heart that you were alive before you actually came back here. You weren't for a second there, though... Were you?"

Off her expression, he continued. "And I felt that too. That's what I've been trying to tell you all along. I want to help you... Build up the Jedi and preserve everything Luke and Leia started. If you'll teach me."

And as he extended his hand out to her, she did not hesitate in taking it. He squeezed it in return with abundant kindness in his eyes that overwhelmed her. With her hand in his, it felt like the force itself was singing over the rightness of it all.

“We’ll learn together.” She said softly.

He gently raised her hand to his lips to place a soft kiss on her battered knuckles before splaying her hand carefully over his heart.

“Together.” He agreed.

She smiled at him through freshly stained tears. He was never meant to make it through the prologue of a story and she was never meant to even make it to the book at all. In some tales, they’d be nothing more than background collateral, but here they were, standing in the wake of the battle- bound not by blood or creed or force… But by something larger than that. Choice.

She’s never been alone. And she never would be.

“We ought to get you a lightsaber then.” She said.

[hoopdiddies]

I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 4)

A/N: I was on vacay for a while and I had a hard time thinking the plot through but this could work. If you want to be tagged, just ask me uwu

Summary (for the entire series Ofc) : You had always loved Ben ever since you two met in university and became the best of friends. That feeling went out like a candle flame when the two of you parted ways until he re-entered your life...but this time with someone who has already occupied his heart.

Word count: 2148

Tags: None

Warnings: Mentions of drinking. And some angst, yet again *sigh*

Part 3

Part 2

Part 1

Parallel to the nature of the grimace present on your face shrouded by the umbra of the umbrella, the thunderclouds become bleaker and unwelcoming, complimenting the harsh pour of the rain on the city. In your mind, it could just get worse.

You tighten your grasp on the stem of your umbrella, the pressure of your grip making the veins in your wrist visible. To think you were enthused to spill the news to him, only to end up feigning the real one because you couldn't bring yourself to accept what must be.

You know he loves you, he loves you so much. He tells you 24/7. But that love is purely limited to hugs, small arguments, spontaneous fits of laughter, gentle pats on the back and forehead kisses. Compared to the almost spiritual connection he has with his fiancee. You've known and been around him longer than you could remember and yet, you're always several steps behind.

Well how else does platonic love compare to something romantic and sexual?

You stop in your tracks just half way through the wet sidewalk and stare at your reflection on a puddle beneath you. The tears dripping from your cheeks making bigger ripples on the puddle in contrast to the ones made by the rain. You sniffle, wiping your eyes quickly with your sleeve.

You hear a faint ring from your pocket and pull out your phone, seeing Lucy's name flash on the screen. You swipe the answer button and go on walking along the moist pavements.

"Hey Luce!" You blurt to hide the cracks in your voice.

"Y/N! Where are you right now? I just got back from a photoshoot and I want to hang out with you!" She giggles through the line and you keep your eyes ahead.

"Well I'm walking back home-"

"In the rain? You could get sick!"

"Lucy, relax. I'm covered up."

She sighs in relief, chuckling at her little mistake. "Sorry there. But mind if I stop by at your place?"

You don't think twice before answering, feeling the need to have some company. "Of course. Hurry up, I'm almost home." You aren't though, you're a dozen blocks away from your destination but you kind of want her to be there just in time for you to...vent.

You hear an audible slam echo from the line, almost coming off as a car door slammed close. "I'm on the road, I'll see you, Y/N!" You hum in response, your mouth curving slightly to the side. "You too, Lucy. Drive safely."

She bids you adieu for the meantime and you pick up your pace along the streets, careful not to glide recklessly over moist surfaces. The rain is not going to lighten very soon, you're sure of it.

As soon as you step foot into your living room after drying off, you are welcomed by a laid-back version of Lucy seated on the couch with a can of Mountain Dew in hand. You chuckle softly at how mellow she's positioned during such a weather, even more so at her choice of beverage.

"You're late." She shakes her head at you, pretending to be upset.

You shrug out of your coat and drape it over your shoulder, trudging to her and crouching down to hug her. "I am so sorry I left almost too quickly last night though."

She pats your back, letting a 'tsk' slip past her lips. "You are lucky Gwilym was there to accompany me."

"Hmm, he's not mad at Joe and me, is he? " Pulling away, you joke a little to cheer yourself up.

"No," she takes a sip of her can and puts it on the table, "in fact he's furious." This could be a little enlightening, a chat with Lucy to shed a beam of light on your mood. You take a seat next to her and begin your conversation. It's not much except that it's full of what happened at her photoshoot, the promotions she is required to attend, a few people she's had a little beef with and apparently her planned getaway with Rami to France. The topic is almost unilateral but you always take genuine interest in everything she says. Notwithstanding the fact that she constantly groans at the mention of the situations she underwent, you both still take a laugh out of it.

It's Lucy, she's a fascinating person with a fascinating life. You sometimes even wish you had her glam and eye for fashion.

She moves a lock of her blonde hair away from her forehead and looks at you curiosly. "Okay enough about me, what went on with you this week?"

You shrug, in an attempt to recall anything at all. "Not much. New Year's was a blast and last night's party was another thing," you turn your glance to your shoes, a frail smirk ghosting on your lips, eventually turning into a hopeful beam as your acceptance into the medical school flashes in your mind, "and... I got accepted into the medical school I applied for."

Lucy's eyes snap wide open at the news. "Shut up," she grabs you by the shoulders and gapes at you with eyes sparkling like they just found a heap of treasure, "you applied for medical school?" The slight disbelief and utter amazement can never be any clearer in her voice.

You nod happily and without warning, Lucy pulls you in for a tight hug, squealing at your success. "Oh my god, that's amazing! When did you get the letter? Have you told anyone?"

"I was sent an email from the institution this morning and told my parents and Joe about it soon after."

Lucy shifts on the couch, sliding her hands over her lap. "Which medical school though?"

"It's outside the country."

"Have you told Ben? "

With her question still hanging in thin air, you pause for a while before turning your head to her, shaking it slowly.

"Why?"

You stand up and head for the kitchen to grab a glass of water, your action confusing Lucy. "Y/N, are you okay?" She asks and you return on cue with your glass in hand. You let out a soft exhale and descend onto the couch. "I just...dont want to make him worry."

"Worry and Ben aren't exactly two words that mingle well. Solely in the context of a great news such as your acceptance."

"Of course, but I don't know how long I'll be gone." You notice your voice dwindle down to a whisper with the cast of your gaze to the side. The look on your face is deciphered by Lucy who's somehow adept at reading expressions, the blank that is your face making it easier for her.

And she suddenly knows what those furrowed brows mean. "There's something you're not telling me, Y/N. Just say it. I mean...even if you don't say it, I already hinted at it." She slides a hand over yours and you slowly turn to her, your expression becoming mildly stark. Of course she'd have a guess and it's only fair that she knows, she could help you get over it.

Your lips part but quiver as you try to find the right words. "I love him."

Lucy's gentle hold turns into a light squeeze, an indication of her comforting you. Her lips curve into a tender yet sad smile as she draws you in close again.

No matter how hard you're trying to let the tears fall, it just doesn't. It hurts but your tears aren't present to highlight that churning burn. Against all the odds to have them resurface in your eyes, you dip your head onto her shoulder and just squeeze your eyes shut. You mumble languidly on how it was an impulse to lie about your acceptance to Ben after he had broken the news about his engagement to you and soon after you had the thought that he would slowly forget about you once he and Rosy marry, and that your friendship wouldn't matter in the long run. As the decision that it'd be best if you go without him knowing, thinking it would make it easier for you to move on.

Lucy clears your face of your hair strands, staring at this once hidden,broken side of you. "I'm so sorry. I know this might not change a thing but you must tell him. He would never forget you, you're like the first person on his mind when he needs someone to talk to."

"Rosy's his life-"

"Y/N, don't demote yourself to a third party. You're more than what she is in his life," a brief pause from Lucy followed by a heartwarming emphasis, "you're his soulmate."

That word always meant something different to you. It involved a deep,romantic relationship but with how Lucy uttered it, it now means something entirely new. But you can't bring yourself to believe it. It's not a concept that can suture the gaping cut left in you.

With the little emotional strength left in you, you smile, launching at her with another hug as a requital to her presence during a time as this.

"I know it hurts...but- bloody, that's what love does to everyone."

--- (Apparent time skip 👀)

Amidst the hectic schedule your job has burdened you with throughout another week, never once have you faltered in between. You've gotten tons of invites to get-togethers during your weekend from friends yet out of the fear of losing all concentration on your duties, you turned them down politely. The second week of a new year means a new batch of spine-cracking, workload for everyone with jobs.

You're doing all this to save up for med school and it's something you tend to prioritize first and foremost. And regarding med school, you are to leave a month before enrollment to ensure your documents are in tacked and get served first. Since a few days before first semester arrives, enrollees would be lining up from different backgrounds and classes would be heavily filled. You have weeks left before your departure...and still, you haven't told Ben the truth...or talked to him in days, at least. For all you know, he could be on a tour, at a conference, an awards ceremony that you don't know of- certainly not the Oscars since you've been told that it's scheduled on February. He's probably busy enough to have other things in mind.

You discard the distraction and go about your business in your work area, with the intention of letting it purposefully distract you.

Minutes close to your dismissal, one of your co-workers strut in to invite you to have a drink with them. You could do no more than turn her down politely but with regards to the strain you've put yourself in with work, she insists and demands that you don't hesitate.

"But-" You try to protest, only to fail as she cuts you off. "I beg of you. Just for tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Yes."

You lightly clap your hands on the desk, springing from your chair with your head lightly tilted to one side. You turn your head to the wall clock on your far left and bob your head. "Do we leave now?"

"Most certainly. Come on!"

You haven't sped out of the building that fast with your colleagues before, not that it's not the first time but it certainly feels like it with how relieved you feel to go out. You needed a distraction from your personal ordeal and you got it, in the form of a night out for a drink.

You hit the pub that's just right across the street for the sake of convenience, half expecting your night to turn out eventful. A light buzz from your pocket stops you halfway into the entrance and slightly indisposed, you fish your phone out from your pocket, holding up your index finger at one of your colleagues to take the message you've received. They stride in ahead of you as you read the message, a little surprised to know Joe's back in London in the favor of Lucy who had asked him to come back. He's asked you out for a dinner with his friend but you tell him you're out for a drink with your colleagues, to which he replies with, "Mind if we join you then?"

And of course, you invite him over. Traipsing through the near rayless place to find your friends, hilariously realizing you're walking to the beat of the music coming from the speakers, you do a double-take at the table to your near left, quickly covering your face and speeding away to continue your search as the sight of Ben with his mates and Rosy ruins the first half of your evening.

What a distraction from a distraction.