#(i know a sun and a moon would never realistically be that close and without planets but it’s symbolism. shhhh)
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a-literal-toaster-wtf · 2 years ago
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moonlight
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crabsnpersimmons · 1 year ago
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Tally
had this idea for a drabble to share a bit more on Moon’s upgrades in the hairdresser AU, since there was some interest about a certain detail mentioned in my previous post (that "last part")
Word Count: 1,567
Read time: ~8 min
some content warnings:
descriptions of body dysmorphia including descriptions of skin picking, which borderline self harm on a metal robot body—i took a lot of creative liberties to translate the signs and symptoms into a robot experience, so it isn’t meant to be the most realistic depiction of body dysmorphia disorder, but just a head's up just in case
descriptions of memories of past traumatic experiences
just angst overall
that’s all i can think of, but please let me know if there’s anything you’d like me to add!
“Home sweet home~!” Eclipse warbles once Moon opens the door to their small apartment. Without missing a beat, he bends down and slips through the door frame, with his precious cargo still on his back.
“Clip! Put me down first!” Sun cries from his position in their little piggyback. He scrunches himself closer to the taller bot’s back as they pass through the threshold, his sunken in rays only barely missing the top of the door frame.
Moon chuckles as Eclipse makes a bee-line for their box TV. It’s the same every day, but he never got tired of it. After closing up shop for the day, they returned home. Unfortunately Sun’s legacy code prevented him from moving about in the dark. That didn’t stop him from trying each night after closing—marching with his eyes glued to street lamps until he ran out of light. Then Eclipse would carry him the rest of the way to the bus stop, where he’d just stay until they got returned to their apartment. The lights of the hallways would stir Sun back awake, but Eclipse always insisted on carrying him the rest of the way to their door—just as he always had since their days in the daycare.
Different city, different space, different jobs—but Eclipse never seemed to change.
Still carrying Sun with one set of arms, he plops himself down in front of the TV and pulls out his game controller with other set. Once Sun extracts himself, his free hands immediately reach for the other controller.
As the old game system is booting up, Moon moves to make a quiet escape.
“Moon,” but Sun knew him too well. “Bedroom.”
There is a whir of fans before Moon responds, “Aye aye, captain.”
No sooner had Moon entered their bedroom that Sun had joined him. Their room was always small—they could only afford so much with their combined income—but it always felt smaller when the sunshine bot cornered him like this.
Silently, Moon turns around, not looking his counterpart in the eye. Instead, Sun extends his hand into his field of vision, waiting. This is not the first time, but it never gets easier for either of them. After a beat, Moon lifts his own bulky hand and places it in Sun’s slender palm. Sun gives him a gentle squeeze before rolling up his counterpart’s sleeve to reveal his blue arm, marked in fine silver trails.
There is a brief pause before Sun leads Moon to their ensuite bathroom and sits him down on the closed seat of the toilet. He looks away for a brief moment just to take out his amateur tools from the drawer. Just a collection of things he has scavenged for basic upkeep. Of course none of this was in his programming. But just as he resolutely marched under streetlamps, Sun pushed his code to its limits to keep them afloat. He sits down on a nearby stool and gets to work on Moon’s right arm where six thin trails shined against the royal blue.
He gets to work and there is silence between them. Before there used to be angry and desperate cries. When Sun discovered his first scar, he insisted he go to parts and services. But they both knew he wouldn’t go back there. Never.
So they had to improvise—and that is what they have always excelled at. Things got easier in that regard after the PizzaPlex had burned down. They could finally leave those walls, leave their troubled past, carve out lives for themselves, care for themselves. They lucked out finding the Boss when they did and now they can do honest work and get paid and live. Finally live.
But still their troubled past stains their new lives. The PizzaPlex may be a long forgotten memory, but they still bear scars and quirks that run deeper than chipped surface paint or legacy processes. Despite all these years in this body, Moon still bumps into things, miscalculating his size and reach. All it took was a bump against his utility cart this afternoon to make him acutely aware of the arm that is not his. The ball-joint neck that cannot move the way he wants it to. The clunky fingers and the foreign nails. They are not his. They are not his. And he is thrust back into the brightly light cylinder, waking up again to a body that isn't his. Waking up again to a role he never asked for. Waking up with piece of him missing. Wondering if the body he remembers is just a dream and he needed to learn to wake up, wake up, wake up--
“You’ve got to stop doing this.”
Sun’s voice breaks him out of his thoughts—and he knows this. Perhaps that’s why Sun is always nagging him. To fill his head with something useful again.
“Some of these scratches can’t be buffed out, and there’s only so much I can do,” Sun works on a light scratch on his left hand.
“And you won’t see a mechanic,” Sun tuts.
“No.”
“I know,” Sun sighs, letting go of the scratch. It’s barely visible now, the kind of imperfection you would have to know about and intentionally look for. The kind that Moon keeps a tally of. His body is covered with tally marks that only he can see.
“But either you stop or I will take you to the mechanic… or,” Sun’s hands drift down to Moon’s hand, holding his fingers gently. “…I disable your retractable claw function.”
“Ha,” the short laugh spills out of Moon before he can think to stop it. “Not when I’m the only one who can give proper hair washes.”
There is a slight pause before Sun pulls his hands away and lightly knocks Moon’s head. “Well, if your claws are sharp enough to carve metal, I don’t want them anywhere near our customer's heads. Besides, we have Sunshine who can help with that now.”
Moon hums uncommittedly, staring at Sun's handiwork at erasing his. Out of the corner of his eye he notices a sway in Sun’s steps as he puts away his tools. As much as Sun pushes his code to the limits and watches over him, Moon also watched out for him. They were, after all, once one. No one knows them better than they do.
Moon’s hand rises up Sun’s arm. “Bed time?”
“Yeah,” Sun says wearily. Even with the lights on, his battery was running low, after a full day of work, walking under street lamps, and fixing Moon's mistakes. The least Moon can do is play this role—a role he gladly performs.
Moon nods as he reaches out to steady Sun before connecting to their shared internal chat.
M: Clip. Sun and I are going to sleep.
E: K.
S: Don’t stay up too late. Make sure you charge up.
E: K.
With that, Moon helps Sun to their bed. They could only afford a one-bedroom apartment, and even then their landlord definitely wasn't too keen about renting to three large robots, and their lack of credit history. It was only thanks to a referral from Boss that they landed the place. But they couldn't complain. There are robots, the don't really need to sleep in bedrooms, but they had one so they might as well use it.
Moon assists Sun into bed before stepping back to get the lights. He watches as Sun plugs in his charging cable in before lying down on the pillows. His eyes never leave Sun’s as darkness falls on the room.
There is the familiar whirring sound of gears moving as rays retract and metal shifts colour. If Moon closes his eyes, he could almost feel those gears in himself. Grinding away. Putting Sun in his nap. And him waking from his own slumber. Him coming alive. Waking in his own body.
S: Moon.
There he goes, filling his head again. Even when powered down, Sun still watches over him. Moon hums in response and shuffles to the bed. His eyes never leave Sun as the bed dips from the added weight, as he slots himself up next to Sun. One arm slips under the gap between his neck and the bed. The other goes over, holding him in place. His legs find their place behind the bend of Sun’s.
His upper hand rubs circles on the familiar surface. Where these hands had left scratches on blue metal, they now caressed the smaller yellow surface.
Different city, different space, but at least he can still hold his body. Although it is not the same colour, it still feels like he remembers. The slenderness of the forearms. Every fine joint in the long fingers. He pulls Sun closer, if only to be closer, if only to be himself again.
But a hard pressure against his chest stops him every time.
Behind layers of clothes, the inflexible metal underneath always keeps them apart. Never flush together when they are in this position. It will always be there to jab into his chest every time he tries.
A reminder of how far he’s fallen.
thank you for reading!
want something to cheer you up? go and check out the meme art i shared yesterday! Moon is there to hug that sad away!
want more heartbreak? look verrrry closely at moon's arms in that meme art (or if it's hard to see the image description in the ALT mentions it)
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therealvinelle · 4 years ago
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Hi, I was reading a post here in Tumblr about how Edward has two gifts, he can hear thoughts and is super fast, so I wonder what is your opinion about this topic?.
Furthermore, what others power might the Volturi's leaders and guards might have?
Edward has one gift, and it’s telepathy. Being fast isn’t a gift.
Strength, speed and even senses is varied among vampires. Some, like Emmett, are on the extreme end, but that doesn’t make Emmett gifted, nor does it mean that the rest are at an equal level. The Cullens have clear variations between them.
Physique appears to play a dominant role in how these variations play out: Alice, who was malnourished and never made it past 4′10″, is the physically weakest of the coven, while Emmett at 6′5″ and a mountain of muscles is the strongest. This is made very clear during the baseball game:
“Emmett was hovering close to third (base), knowing that Alice didn’t have the muscle to outstrip Rosalie’s fielding." (Midnight Sun, chapter The Game)
There’s also the fact that it’s taken for granted that Emmett would be intimidating to other vampires, and he is dismayed when James is more worried about Jasper, who is lean.
I suspect this disparity exists simply because a large frame means more tissue to have blood in. Newborns, animal, and human-eating vampires all having a difference in terms of strength is proof that blood has the final say in a vampire’s prowess, so Emmett being able to contain more of it than Alice and therefore being stronger makes sense to me.
This isn’t the meta for me to get into that, but I don’t think vampires have muscles in the sense we do. Or rather, we can’t know that they do. Renesmée is proof that Edward retains his human DNA, or she would be a clone of Bella. Nahuel is proof that Joham retains a Y-chromosome. Does this mean that vampires have different cell types? Does a vampire’s stone-like skin still contain human DNA? One would think yes - except, if you rip a vampire apart, you get rubble. The parts are all solid. There’s also Carlisle theorizing that vampires digest blood by absorbing it through porous tissue, which makes me wonder why he dismissed his digestive system (my guess: vivisection fun times with Aro in Volterra. Carlisle couldn’t have done it on his own, and Aro is the only one mad and curious enough to be down for that). I’m getting off-topic - what I’m saying is, we don’t know how vampires work, meaning I can’t build this meta off of the assumption that they have muscles. I simply can’t know for sure that they do.
The important thing is that a vampire’s physique is a deciding factor in how strong they are.
There’s also Laurent’s warning about James, that he has “unparalleled senses”, meaning some vampires are better at sight, hearing, and smell than others. I can believe that, because we have canon examples of vampires being bad at tracking.
There’s Edward in Port Angeles, who couldn’t track Bella’s, his singer, scent to her location, and (I admit this one is conjecture but it’s so probable that I say it goes) Carlisle’s creator, who after taking care of the mob must have realized he’d bitten one of the humans, meaning a newborn would soon be loose in London. This is punishable by death by the Volturi. The fact that he didn’t return to finish Carlisle off means that he was unable to find him. I remind the audience that Carlisle was bleeding and suffering the effects by a venom intended to paralyze the victim. To put it this way, Carlisle wouldn’t have survived James, or anybody with a trace of tracking competence. By comparison, Carlisle was able to locate a dying Rosalie by the smell of her blood, even though there wouldn’t have been a trail for him to follow, as her body had not been moved.
When it comes to these disparities in strength and speed among the Volturi, I imagine Jane and Alec are the physically weakest members of the guard, and among the slowest. They’re prepubescent, meaning no muscle for them, and their height (a humble 4′8″ and 4′10″) implies very short legs. They’re simply not going to get as far as an adult would, not in the same number of steps. Renata at 5′0″ is another tiny vampire lady who likely isn’t very strong or fast.
That’s not to say I think these physically weaker members of the Volturi guard are necessarily useless in hand-to-hand combat, Alec at least is a boy stuck in a playful age, and the males around him are trained warriors. He’s probably picked up a few things over the years.
As for the others, Aro is described as frail-looking, which hints at him being quite thin. I don’t think he’s weak, if he couldn’t win a fight he wouldn’t be around, but I do think he’s probably below average in terms of strength. Caius I picture as a Harrison Ford type, so of course I’m gonna think he’s a bit burly, but this is me headcanoning and not actually hinted at in canon. Marcus is 19, so I imagine he can only be so strong.
Back to Edward’s speed.
He’s a 6′2″ teen, that’s code for “very long legs”, though I’m actually going to go ahead and posit that he’s not actually that fast. Strap in for this next part:
The guy was a teenager who lay dying for an undisclosed amount of time. The fact that Carlisle had the time to get to know his mother points to a few weeks, at least. And Edward was very ill:
Elizabeth worried obsessively over her son. She hurt her own chances of survival trying to nurse him from her sickbed. I expected that he would go first, he was so much worse off than she was. (New Moon, page 21)
Muscles atrophy quickly, never more so than when you’re a teen ravaged by fever, on your deathbed. And as I’ve explained above, I think your physique in life ties directly into your vampiric prowess.
I think Edward is certainly the physically weakest of the male Cullens, quite likely weaker than Rosalie as well, maybe even Esme.
Now, speed is not the same as strength. However, for humans, the two are connected. It’s the muscle fibers in our legs that determine our speed. Basically, type I fibers make an enduring runner, type II fibers make a speed runner. So, assuming that vampires retain their human musculature, one could argue that Edward had a lot of type II in life. However, Carlisle when he was human was able to outrun the mob he was with:
He ran through the streets, and Carlisle — he was twenty-three and very fast — was in the lead of the pursuit. (Twilight, page 158)
Carlisle clearly had a lot of type II fibers, and unlike Edward he was in peak physical condition when he died. He was also an adult who’d had more time to develop musculature, while Edward was a seventeen-year-old. If musculature was a deciding factor, one would think they would at the very least be of equal speed, though realistically Edward should be slower.
So, if it’s not muscles, what is it that makes Edward faster than the others?
It could be a matter of technique. Except, the way Bella describes movement when she wakes up as a vampire, it’s all very automated. Her body knows exactly how to do everything, and executes it without much input from her:
After that first frozen second of shock, my body responded to the unfamiliar touch in a way that shocked me even more.
Air hissed up my throat, spitting through my clenched teeth with a low, menacing sound like a swarm of bees. Before the sound was out, my muscles bunched and arched, twisting away from the unknown. I flipped off my back in a spin so fast it should have turned the room into an incomprehensible blur—but it did not. I saw every dust mote, every splinter in the wood-paneled walls, every loose thread in microscopic detail as my eyes whirled past them.
So by the time I found myself crouched against the wall defensively—about a sixteenth of a second later—I already understood what had startled me, and that I had overreacted. (Breaking Dawn, page 251-252)
Growling, crouching - those are all distinctly vampiric, non-human ways to act. Bella didn’t learn this, her body knew it of its own accord. When she later runs, she explains it as happening the same way - she just does it.
The way Bella experiences it, vampiric movement is like a package she downloaded, and that executes her instinctual commands with no need for her to actually know how to do any of this. Her grace is another example of this - Bella Swan may be in charge of her own consciousness, but the venom is entirely in control of her body.
Given these facts, I don’t think it’s technique that makes Edward a better runner than others. His technique is likely similar to everyone else’s. If it isn’t, if technique is what makes the difference, then who is and isn’t fast is an arbitrary process.
With that, we get to my controversial theory about why Edward is the fastest Cullen: he’s not.
Running and being fast is the only thing about vampirism that Edward enjoys. This is for another meta, but Edward is extremely depressed about every single other bit of it. Every aspect of being a vampire torments him.
Except the running. He enjoys all of it, especially being the fastest, so much. And as a newborn, he would have been faster than Carlisle.
But after that, when his newborn strength faded…
I honestly think that Carlisle decided to just slow down a bit when running with him, let Edward have this. It’s no skin of his back, and it makes Edward happy, so why not.
Esme joins the family, and of course she would be down for this. Nothing is more parental, more maternal, than losing at checkers to make your child happy, after all. Could also be she’s not very fast herself, but even if she were then she would downplay it to make Edward feel like Jesse Owens.
Enter Rosalie, who would think it’s completely ridiculous, yes, but she would also recognize this excellent opportunity to call in a big favor from Carlisle later on. There’s also the fact that I think Carlisle has a gift (yes, yes, meta is coming, people) that makes him very persuasive people. And also that for all that Rose gets a lot of bad rep, she is very generous and loves her family, if being fast makes Edward happy then alright.
Emmett is an easy-going guy, he goes along with things. Alice adores Edward and would go along with it. She also has tiny matchstick legs and couldn’t outrun him if she tried. Jasper could not care less.
Bella does get outrun by Edward after waking up, but she also did zero exercise in life (listing this in case musculature matter), had Renesmée devour her from within rendering her emaciated, and then died like a slasher movie murder victim. There’s not a lot of blood in her, and what little blood there is doesn’t have a lot to work with. She does defeat Emmett at arm wrestling, so I’ll concede that. However, there are enough extenuating circumstances surrounding Bella that I think my “Edward isn’t that fast” theory survives his ability to outrun her.
So, I believe Edward is the fast Cullen because Carlisle told a white lie in 1919, no one ever corrected that, and now it’s too late.
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johnsamericano · 4 years ago
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Can do a fic about dilf doyoung is your Father's friend but u have a secret relationship with him them one day he got you preggo so u moved in with him plsssss also put a lot of smut shshshhshsh pls I hope you read this.
Hi there! My requests are currently closed but I can never resist writing dilf!Doyoung so you’re lucky. There's not THAT much smut in this because I wanted to make it as realistic as possible. Hope you like it!
warnings: dirty talking, sex, language, use of the name daddy, spanking, unexpected pregnancy, age gap.
“What’s the meaning of this invitation, Mr. Kim?” You inquired, walking past the front door with a gym bag hanging from your shoulder. “It's not every day you invite me to a private swimming party.”
“Very funny.” He welcomed you with a hug, his warm, naked chest pressed against your covered one. “Jeno’s out with his friends. He won't come back until tomorrow.”
“Aw, but where's the fun in that? I wanted to be with him.” That response earned you a slap in the ass, hard enough to serve as a warning not to keep testing his patience.
“Get changed. I'll wait for you in the hot tub.”
You locked yourself in the nearest bathroom, quickly yanking off your clothes to replace them with a baby blue bikini. You knew how much he loved the matching set, not as much as taking it off you, of course.
Wanting to make him wait for a while longer, you neatly folded your clothes and placed them over your sleeping wear inside the bag you'd brought with you.
“Took you long enough.” He was sitting inside the water, his arms spread wide as he gave you a less than amused look. “Come here.”
Despite how dominant he might look on the outside, he never managed to fool you. As soon as you were between his arms, your face was guaranteed to be covered with kisses from his soft lips.
“I missed you this past few weeks.” His wet thumb traced figures over your arm, avoiding looking into your eyes. “Why haven't you visited?”
Your fingers played with the small, grey hairs covering the nape of his neck.
“It's getting harder to hide it from Jeno, and I know if he ever found out, our friendship would be over. I don't wanna lose him.”
“He’ll find out, better sooner than later.” The look on your face must've given away your thoughts. “What? Did you think this was just something casual?”
“I mean...” His jaw dropped, arms falling into the water with a splash. “Look, you have to understand me. We started right after your wife left, I thought you were using me to forget her. And I didn't mind-”
“Using you?” Just a few millimeters and his eyebrows would be touching. “Have you always thought so low of me?”
“Doyoung...”
“I want a future with you, y/n. Not just an occasional fuck but an actual relationship, and if you don't feel the same about me, then we might as well end things here.” This was the first time you'd seen him mad, with his whole face red from anger and the warmth of the jacuzzi, he looked as if he were about to explode.
“Of course I do. But it's complicated.” The red shade tinting his cheeks and ears, slowly faded. “No one would accept our relationship, for starters.”
“I couldn't care less about other’s opinions.”
In less than a second, his lips crashed against yours, hard. But there was a hint of sweetness in his wild movements, the way his hands caressed your back while his tongue worked its way inside your mouth aggressively.
“Already so eager?” He asked as your heat rubbed itself against his clothed cock. “Not here.”
“What...?”
The muscles in his legs tensed as he stood up with you still between his arms. He was strong, for a man of his age, of course.
“I’m afraid that I've been fucking you the wrong way, which might have been the reason for you to have the wrong idea about us.” Leaving a trail of water drops behind you, you climbed up the stairs leading to the second floor, where his room was located. “Scratch that. No more fucking, from now on, I'm gonna make love to you.”
“Have you always been this cheesy?” Your feet touched the floor as he removed his hands from below your thighs, slightly pushing you until the back of your knees touched the mattress.
“Don’t make me change my mind and spank that pretty ass.”
“Rude.” You let yourself fall on the fresh comforter, dragging him down with you.
“Take your clothes off for me, won't you?” He busied himself pulling down his swimming trunks while you struggled with the knot keeping your bra in place. “Such a silly, little girl. Can't do anything without her daddy, can her?”
“Please.” Even though you hated being humiliated, your core didn't seem to bother. His degrading words only caused your essence to form an even larger patch on your bikini. “Doyoung...”
“Fine.” His cock was standing proudly, his tip dripping with small beads of precum. “On your knees and turn around.”
He worked through the knots as fast as his trembling fingers allowed him to. His mouth was aching to say the special words he'd been keeping to himself for a while now, but he didn't have enough courage yet.
“Ready.” The straps fell down your arms, tickling the skin as they slid.
You took the last piece of your suit off, finally allowing your body to be consumed by the humidity of the summer evening. Doyoung was quicker to enter you than usual. No teasing, just lovemaking as he’d promised earlier.
“You’re so warm.” His lips were attached to your collarbone, sucking to leave a mark big enough for everyone to see. “Your little cunt takes me so well. No one else could make me feel as good as you do.”
With his hips pistoning your hole, your fingers found their way to the nape of his neck, dancing over the tender skin. The way you were looking at each other, so intimate and full of affection, had the words he'd been wanting to say rushing out of his lips.
“I love you.” His movements faltered as if waiting for you to give him any type of answer.
“What’s with that scared face?” You giggled, every inch of your skin flushed with embarrassment and desire. “I love you too.” He loved how young you made him feel, like a silly teenager confessing to his crush only to find out his feelings were reciprocated.
His thrusts resumed, this time slower, deeper, making sure you felt every single ridge and vein of his cock. His length caressed your walls oh so deliciously, bringing you closer and closer to your high. Until someone had to ruin it.
“Dad, where are you?” In a rush, Doyoung pulled out, not even noticing how his seed spilled out of your hole. Fear had taken over the pleasure.
“Get in the bathroom, he probably just forgot something. Don't worry.”
As he'd said, Jeno was quick to leave. Not even ten minutes later, Doyoung was back in his room, announcing Jeno’s little getaway got extended.
“So that means, you can stay for a while longer. Only if you want of course.” The bathtub was filling with warm water and bubbles he'd added. “Or we can go on our own trip, whatever you want.” You felt at ease between his arms, his heartbeat lulling you to sleep.
Who would've thought you'd be losing your mind a few weeks later because of the same man that had given you so much peace before.
“How could you forget to wear protection?!”
“Don't treat me as if I were the only one responsible for this situation.” You hid your face between the warmth of your palms, supporting the side of your head against the window. “Look at me, baby.”
You shook your head, tears starting to slip between your fingers.
“I’m here for you, darling. Whatever you want to do, I'll fully support you.” His thumb traced the shape of the shell of your ear.
“I don't know what I want to do.”
“We still have time to help you figure things out, okay?” There was a certain sadness to his tone, almost as if his hopes were vanishing.
He didn't want to get rid of it, but being pregnant was a burden that you'd have to carry alone as much as he tried to help. It was your choice and only yours.
“I want to have it, but I don't even have a job or economical support. My parents would kill me if they found out. And Jeno, oh boy, he'd have a heart attack.”
“You have me, y/n. And even though I can't do anything about other people's reactions, I'll always be by your side.”
Doyoung wasn't lying. He walked you through every step, even assumed part of the responsibility when talking to your parents, who didn't react as badly as you'd foreseen.
“Just make sure you're making the right choice.” They'd said.
Jeno was the last person to find out.
“Oh, hey y/n. Were you waiting for me?” He dropped the sports bag right in front of de door.
“We have to tell you something.”
“We?” The look on his face was almost comical as if life had been sucked out of his handsome features.
“Yes, we.” Doyoung laced his fingers with yours, tightly locking your hands together.
His father explained the situation calmly, making sure to use the right words to avoid scaring him away. By the time he was done, Jeno was just staring at you with an emotionless face.
“Jeno?” Your heart dropped at the thought of losing your friend. “Say something, please.”
“You want me to say something?”
There was a small, dramatic pause to add some tension to his words. But the mood lightened as soon as his eyes became crescent moons.
“Bold of you to assume I wasn't aware of your little relationship.” He giggled. “It's okay, guys. You're both adults and I trust you know what you're doing.”
“What the hell is going on?” Your thoughts slipped out of your mouth.
“Thank you, Jeno.” Doyoung mouthed, squeezing your shoulder.
“Man, I always wanted a little brother.” He walked up to you, wrapping his arms around you and his father's neck.
“I rather have a girl this time.”
“Should I call you mom?” Jeno teasingly asked, poking the back of your head.
“Try me.”
(...)
As you folded your clothes and placed them in your new closet, the sun started setting. The light sound of sizzling could be heard from the room, probably Doyoung cooking dinner.
“Y/n!” He shouted from downstairs. “Come help me set the table.”
“Coming!” You set aside the remaining boxes. There were not many clothes left to unpack, so you could finish after eating.
You tiptoed on your way downstairs, accomplishing to scare him with a surprise back hug.
“Stop, you could've burnt yourself.” He scolded, undoing your hug only to quickly pull you by his side moments later.
“Is it me or are you getting a little too overprotective?”
“Am not!” His eyebrows quivered like they did every time he lied.
“Really? Then why haven't we had sex ever since you found out I was pregnant?” Your hand teasingly traced figures on his lower abdomen, a little too close to the stove he was using.
“You’re gonna get burnt.” Once again, he tried to push you away, but your hand remained in the same position. “Baby...”
“Uh-uh, you're not gonna sweet-talk your way out. Why won't you touch me anymore? Have I lost my charm or something?”
“What? No!” He turned off the stove, completely turning to his side to face you. “I just don't wanna hurt the baby.”
“Bullshit. You know it's still safe to do it, you already had one son, for god's sake.” Your arms were crossed over your slightly swollen mounds. “I want the truth.”
“I’m telling you the truth...” There was no nervous quiver from his eyebrows, but his tone was less than convincing.
“The whole truth, Doyoung.”
There was no way out, he had to tell you what he'd been trying to hurry at the back of his head for weeks now.
“I can't stop thinking that the only reason we became official is because of this baby, and I'm afraid if you lose it, I'll lose you as well.” It seemed as if your roles had reversed, as if he was the youngest, the most immature.
“Idiot.” You flicked his forehead with anger, later pulling him into a bear hug. “Get those stupid ideas out of your little head or I'll have to slap them out of you.”
“Rude much.”
“I told you once before we found out about the baby...” Your lips were achingly close to his, ready to kiss those soft, pink pillows. “I love you.”
Your eyes were stuck on his lips, too busy to notice how his eyes started sparkling, the edge of them trying to contain his tears. After a while, you looked up, his nostalgic expression puzzling you.
“I’m sorry, it's the hormones.” He sniffled.
“That's not how pregnancy works, honey.”
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dadsbongos · 4 years ago
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gentle lover
(1)gentle lover (2)burn me to the ground Movie/Game/Show: Loki Dynamic: Loki Laufeyson/Reader Warnings: spoilers for infinity war/1st episode of loki ig, fem pronouns Summary: Loki almost wishes he could've experienced the life he's watching of you and him together. ~~~
There’s something about looking upon the gentle face of a lover and coming to the realization that you’d do anything for them. It isn’t as though you never knew - the knowledge was already there, it just took a few seconds for the thought to become cemented as truth. Loki sees this in himself as he stands before the TVA projection of his life.
He’s paused at a moment on an unnameable planet. He sees himself standing on a balcony in what he assumes to be a late-night, but instead of staring up at the stars, he’s looking upon a woman beside him. She’s looking at him as well. They share the glance with smiles - and that’s what alarms Loki most. The smile he sees is one he hasn’t felt in years. It’s small but it’s more genuine than the leather he was wearing moments ago. It’s a smile he hasn’t felt since before he knew about Laufey. Since before his mother…
He knows that woman. One of Thor’s Midgardian friends. The one assigned to watch and guard him in New York.
He doesn’t know why she’s there with him. He doesn’t know why she looks so content to be on another planet with him. He doesn’t know why he looks so at peace at her mere presence. He doesn’t know why it makes him miss a reality he’s never even known to exist.
He almost wants to be there, just to know what it is about that woman that brings him so much tranquility at that moment.
She’s just another bug, their difference in lifespans is proof enough of that. But Loki knows that look, as much as he hates to admit to his own conscience, he knows that feeling smeared across his own face. It’s caring. Tender. A softness he’s never felt for others is now on full display to a Midgardian.
Loki clenches his jaw and resumes the projection.
He watches the two slide their hands together on a railing, interlocking their fingers.
The Loki onscreen’s eyes flicker between hers and their joined hands. It isn’t even him that speaks first, it’s her.
“When this whole thing is over and Sakaar is ruined and Thor has the throne, where will you go?”
Silence is passed between them, Loki brushes his thumb over her knuckles, tilting his head to the side briefly in thought, “Where will you want me?”
She chuckles and shakes her head, “You wouldn’t want to go to Earth. Unless you’d like the Avengers up your ass.”
They giggle together, ignoring the very real reason why the Avengers would be so onto him in the first place. Loki blinks at the woman, scooting closer to her, “I wouldn’t be fond of that… but for you, my dear, I’d tear the universe apart.”
He kisses her knuckles and she merely jokes back, “That sounds like exactly why they wouldn’t want you. Sorry to say they’re not fond of universe-tearing.”
“I’m charming and romantic and this is how I’m repaid?”
“However,” she stresses with a broad grin, “I can’t say that’s not excellent bargaining to keep you on a leash.”
Loki’s brows furrow and he nearly pulls back, “Like a dog?”
“Well, now,” she bites her lip in thought and looks away at the dystopian city below, but Loki still looks at her.
He looks at her as though she’d sewn the very realms together. As though she’d hung all the moons and suns and stars and planted every sweet flower and harvested every fruit. He looks at her like she’s the beginning of his world - and he knows that it also means that, if she asked right then and there, he’d help her destroy the world too. He looks at her as though she’s the only true love he’s ever known. And for all this Loki, watching himself and this woman be entwined, knows - she probably is. He can feel it through the very projection he’s watching, and so he plays another scene with her in it.
“For a woman who could undoubtedly tear people apart, you master the role of a noblewoman, love.”
“Well, that’s a relief.”
Her response is dripping in lighthearted sarcasm and it manages a laugh from the Loki onscreen as he lays back in a shared bed.
“I am somewhat on the espionage scene, it’d be a little embarrassing if I couldn’t even pull off a little role like this.”
“Even so, I admire you for it.”
“At this point, it’d be rarer to find something you don’t admire me for,” she lightly huffs, a smile tipping at her lips as she finishes tying up her dress, “Not that I’m complaining. It's a huge ego boost.”
“There certainly is much to admire about you,” Loki shows his palms as if to display a sort of surrender.
Before more can be said, the projection is paused once again. Loki closes his eyes and lets his head down in the silence - almost expecting that voice to creep through his mind again. He can hear her now, in his head. He knows that out there, in those other variations of him on the sacred timeline that haven’t yet become Variants, they can probably hear her too. In a more realistic sense, of course. Because if they’re determined to fall in love, there must be one of her fated for every one of them. And he almost pities the fact.
He plays the projection in bits and pieces.
“My mother…”
“Loki, stop, you don’t have to.”
“I wish to, dear.”
“Loki…”
“My mother, I truly feel that she would’ve adored you.”
He takes in their love story as it comes and he struggles down what feels too intimate for even him to watch.
“Do you ever worry about the day when you wake up and I don’t?”
“Yes, of course, I do.”
“What will you do?”
“I prefer to not think on that.”
“You think about everything.”
“Some things… are better left unplanned for. At least for now, when that isn’t a valid worry in my mind.”
He almost wishes he hadn’t touched that tesseract. Just to live a life where he gets to see first-hand how this human woman manages to creep under the walls he so carefully spent years crafting.
“I love you.”
“Poor choice, really.”
“Loki. Seriously. I love you.”
“I love you, too, dear.”
It’s bizarre to see himself love. It’s bizarre to watch as he cares for a being he once would’ve had no qualms ruling over. It’s bizarre to know that this is what could’ve been the happiest times of his life if he hadn’t picked up the tesseract.
“Did you ever imagine yourself here?”
“On a spaceship with a bunch of Asgardians and the gladiators from Sakaar? No, never.”
“I meant with me.”
“I know, I was just messing with you. And… no. To be honest. I thought maybe I’d have to watch you as a guard or something. With the whole trying-to-take-over thing, but never that I’d be your girlfriend.”
“Eh.”
“‘Eh’? The hell does ‘eh’ mean? I am!”
“It sounds so… juvenile. Girlfriend - boyfriend.”
“What? Wife sounds better?”
“In honesty? Yes, it does. I’d much rather call you my wife than my girlfriend.”
“You can’t joke about that! I’ll get my hopes up.”
“Who said anything about joking, dear?”
And as he comes to the end, as he watches himself be lifted by the titan he’s come to fear more than anything, he hears her. Her mourning. Her screaming. Her pleading. Her gut-wrenching cries.
He watches her and Thor crawl to his body and sprawl themselves over it in heaps of hiccupped tears and choked sorrows.
“You were supposed to out-live me… Loki, please. You’ve come back before, Loki, please, come back again. Come back again… I can’t - I can’t live this life without you, Loki… please… please come back again…” she sounds as though her heart itself has been ripped from her chest and torn in two before her very eyes, “You were supposed to out-live me… Loki...”
He looks away from the screen. Decides that now is too much. He can’t watch her lose what she saw as the world. Loki barely knows her and yet he knows himself enough to know if he watches her grief then he’ll want to mend it.
Looking upon her and seeing how deeply and irrevocably she’d cared for him, knowing of his past and forgiving his ways and loving him anyway, he knows he’d want to end her cries. It’s that feeling of realization that makes him feel ridiculous for wanting to do so much for a Midgardian he hasn’t fallen in love with yet.
Yet?
Yet.
It’s a feeling of realization that he’d do anything for that lover of his, when he gets to love her. If he gets to love her.
And it’s that ‘if’ that makes him understand why Mobius was so interested in making him watch his own life. His own future. It makes him realize what he wants but can’t have. His brother, his love, his happiness - it gives him something to want. Lying just out of reach.
So long as he’s compliant with the TVA, he assumes. Otherwise, he’d have to tear the universe in half to even see that Midgardian woman once again.
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msookyspooky · 3 years ago
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Okay so I think I have a good question - Based on your hc, IF you had to choose between Billy and Stu, who do you realistically think you'd be more compatible with romantically?
Lmfao get ready for a rant cause I've thought about this before and every point for why or why not ☠️☠️☠️
Billy. The Rat Faced Mama's Boy. Hands down.
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We both are introverted
We both latched onto horror as an escape
We both have very similar traumatic issues with our family I think we would have a common understanding of each other when it came to that. I'm more healed than he is obviously but maybe that would zape him out of being a fucking nutjob if someone would have listened and said "Yeah me too. Sometimes family sucks. It gets better." I know it would have helped me and saved me a lot of wasting my teens being an angsty whiney Lydia Deetz; that's for sure.
Even more context:
I'm obviously creative and I think that would be appreciated by him, especially my horror themed stories. I was actually writing a book of short scary stories like the ones we grew up with to self publish and never got back to it....I could see him chiming in to add this element to a story or if he liked that particular story after reading it when I told him not to. 😑
Im drawn to darker stuff and heavily into occult and spirituality something I think would interest him as well and draw him in because I'm 'different' than most of the girls in Woodsboro.
Put it this way; I'm a Sag Sun, Aquarius Moon, Capricorn Mercury. So if you know astrology then nuff said you can see my personality. The closest person to my chart is Billie Ellish but I'm even more intense in relationships because she has a Sagittarius venus while mines a fucking Scorpio venus. I am a ride or die when I fall in love and I fucking hate it. I just know we would both be the same level of intense but also understanding in a dynamic together.
I don't dress nearly as alt as I'd like to irl; none of you would recognize me. I'm a plain jane that puts comfort over looks and I think he would be fine with that.
To top it all off he doesn't seem like the type to rush relationships and I'm as demiromantic as it gets. It feels like if he was genuinely interested in me; he would wait. We'd have an angst filled slow burn lmfao ☠️
Now, I'm not saying we wouldn't be toxic for each other!!
because he would definitely try to control me and I would fight him tooth and nail. We both would piss each other off because I'm not an argumentative person but I'm head strong. You tell me not to do something? Okay...Okay, that's fine. *Closes the door and squeals tires up the road going to do the very thing you told me not to* Like our relationship would be fucked up at times WITHOUT the murder... And Billy is a dramatic bitch. Like, I would definitely roll my eyes at him being dramatic about something microscopic and an argument from Hell would ensue.
But once we reach an understanding that he is not controlling me and I have to learn to let him be a bitch about stuff...I actually think we'd be cool with each other. Just minus the murder.
But Stu? No...Not alone.
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Stu is definitely a shallow jackass and I sadly feel like me being overweight and not in a plus sized model way (I gain hardly no boobs or hips when I gain weight and he definitely likes those), a plain jane and not in the in crowd would bother him or even if he himself was cool with it he'd mock me in front of his friend group just to save face something I can't see Billy doing because he doesn't care as much as Stu does about appearances or what others think.
He feels unfaithful I'm just gonna say it...I know Billy did it with Christy while with Sid but I think if he genuinely loved someone he would be as loyal as they come but Stu? That man will always have his eyes wandering, I'm sorry.
He's way too immature for me no matter how charming he is. I would feel like I'm baby sitting him and the conversations would be superficial. We'd be better as friends.
He rushes things and hyperfixates and as a demiromantic there ain't no way. His lovebombing would have me fucking hiding from him.
I HATE being touched if I'm not in the right head space. He would have to let me come to him something I know he wouldn't do.
I don't engage in PDA. He would get his feelings hurt if he tried kissing my neck while I was talking to someone and I shoved him away.
He's insensitive and I would be offended by him ALL the time. Yeah Billy faked the boyfriend thing with Sid but he showed he can be a good boyfriend and probably was before Maureen/Roman happened. If I was upset; Billy would be the most understanding even if he's not affectionate about it while Stu would want a quick fix with a hug and if that didn't work he'd make it worse with an insensitive remark.
He is loud attention seeking manwhore and I just can't see myself being drawn to him
Stu is hot and has his own charm about him that Billy lacks. Billy is boring af but Stu is annoying af. Billy is hot and we match vibes but maybe too well to the point we would go nowhere in a relationship.
Honestly? They work best together. In a relationship they are both such opposites that you get the best of both worlds and they bring both the worst and the best out in each other.
So to answer your question; Billy. But I really can't see myself with him long term either but both of them I could? So the true answer is both or notjing if we're being honest! They just compliment each other and Stu would be go from annoying to endearing with Billy as a reserved emotionally constipated buffer and Billy would be tranquil and understanding compared to Stu being Stu when you need to just chill. They both would keep each other in line...But they'd also tagteam to annoy me and idk how to feel about that other than one of you can take them off my hands for awhile ✋️
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And honestly I think I would have them at a lose at times because I wouldn't engage in their dumbass angst bullshit. I'm very chill to the point I could see them trying to make me jealous and I'd just tell them to go fuck each other and leave me alone. And I'm from the country and I love the outdoors and they feel like two rich uppity Cali boys that would be fine with blood but god forbid they get mud on them 🙃
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goldenroutledge · 4 years ago
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Hey love ur writing! Can I request “The more I look at you, the more I think we need to leave.” with John b?
one last time
pairing: john b. routledge x reader
word count: 0.8k
warning(s): a lil bit of sad angst but i tried to end it soft
a/n: i hope you like it :)
john b. routledge masterlist
© goldenroutledge || do not plagiarize, repost, or translate my work in any way
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Nightfall. You never thought you’d be so happy to watch the rosy and golden hues in the sky vanish into a darkness while the moon and stars began to shine. A time where you and John B could roam free without having to look over your shoulders constantly. Without having to avoid the current circumstances that were your unfortunate reality.
But on a night like tonight, you never thought you’d be so desperate to keep the sun up for just a few hours longer. Or to even stop time altogether. You’d spent many nights lying awake, thinking about what this night would entail. What it would be like if it were to happen at all. If only it was a nightmare instead, though it was inevitable. John B would be going away somewhere on the mainland to live with a foster family.
He wanted to downplay it for your sake, constantly reassuring you that he wouldn’t be going anywhere. But it would take a fool not to see through his act and straight to the root of it all, the nervousness and anger he felt about the situation. He asked if you’d come over to the Chateau one last time. Even if he didn’t say it directly, it was implied. In only a few short hours, your lives would both change.
You swallowed the lump in your throat, the one that couldn’t seem to go away despite the amount of times you had sobbed earlier. Inhaling deeply, you brought your fist to knock a few times. Shortly after, John B came around the corner and into your view through the screen door.
“Hey.” He let out, barely above a whisper as he let you inside. Almost as if you two were being listened to, but there was nobody else around. You wanted to burst into tears again at the sight of some of his bags packed that you were sure he forgot to hide. He never wanted you to worry about it. “I’m glad you came over.”
“Of course. I couldn’t let you leave without saying goodbye, right?” You murmured, looking down at the ground to avoid his eyes.
“Hey.” He lifted your chin with two of his fingers. “This isn’t goodbye, Y/n.”
“It feels like it.” John B didn’t say anything for a while, only kissing your forehead and holding you in his arms. “The least you could do is stop pretending this isn’t happening.”
“It’s easier for me that way.” He muttered into your hair. “I was trying to save the last of our time together.”
“I know.” Your heart pounded in your chest, though you were exhausted and just wanted to crumble. “But now it’s up, John B.” You rasped, letting tears fall freely down your cheeks. He closed his eyes in the embrace so it wouldn’t hurt him to see you crying in his arms as he whispered some sweet nothings. You sniffled, backing away from him even though it hurt to let go. “I’ll miss you.”
Your eyes bore into each other’s, both sets shining with fresh coats of tears as he cupped your face in his hands. “Who says our time has to be up?”
“You have to face it, John B. So you can move on. I want you to be happy. You deserve a family— I can’t rob you of that.”
“You are my family. I don’t want to go. But the more I look at you, the more I think we need to leave.”
“Baby, DCS arrives at 8 tomorrow morning. We can’t outrun this anymore.”
“Please, Y/n.” He begged through clenched teeth, tears threatening to escape his own eyes. “We can try to. Just one last time.” Your eyelids closed shut as you shook your head, moving to sit down on the couch. “Look, I can’t go into foster care, Y/n. And if there’s anyone I wanna run away with, it’s you.”
“Ok. But how would we do that John B? We don’t even have anything. That’s not realistic.”
“We have each other, angel. And I have enough money saved for us until we can find jobs.” He explained, sitting beside you and interlocking your fingers together. “It’ll just be us, baby. We’ll figure it out.”
“Are you sure this is something you’d want?”
“Only if it’s something you would.” His thumb brushed across your hand softly. “What do you say? One last time, Y/n.”
Once your eyes locked with his, you knew you couldn’t say no. You had no clue what the hell you were doing, but you knew that whatever it was, you wanted to do it with John B. Losing him wasn’t something you could bear. Not with the opportunity of a new beginning right in front of you.
“One last time, John B.” You agreed. “I just hope we can get through it.” Your head rested beside his, letting out a long exhale you weren’t aware was trapped in your lungs.
“We will, Y/n. One last time is all we need.”
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a/n: i thought about doing more of a canon version where john b has to leave because the police are after him but i chose to do this instead. hope u guys liked it :)
taglist: @ilovejjmaybank @missevi @nxsmss @cameronsrafe @msgorillagripcoochie @bibliophilewednesday @tovvaa @freddymaybank @annab-nana @babeyglo @sunsetholland @moniamaybank @outerbankspreferences @laneybobeczko-g @jjpouggues @j-j-may-bank @heartdose @maddyclines
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planned-planethood · 4 years ago
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A list of things to be excited about in space exploration
In space science and exploration, things tend to move slowly. That is, until they don't. It is easy to lose perspective on exactly what is possible when the right people are providing the right support for exploration initiatives.
With significant advances in rocket technology, ambitious programs from one administration being continued by the next (THANK YOU, finally!) and funding for NASA at an all time high there are some exciting things coming up not just in our lifetimes, but possibly in the next few years for some of these. Here is a list of things that could actually happen which will make your imagination go wild:
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- The Artemis program: the Artemis program was started in 2017. For years there has been intense debate about whether or not we should be returning to the Moon or sending astronauts to Mars. This debate, it seems, has finally ended. When President Biden determined to continue to support the previous administration's goals to return Americans to the Moon, all remaining opposition evaporated as the space-science community wants to simply conduct human exploration missions again regardless of the destination. Now, with essentially unified support and bipartisan political capital, the Artemis program looks extremely likely to survive.
It's more than just a return to the Moon though. We will be building a new space station called the Lunar Gateway. Gateway will orbit around the Moon and provide NASA with a way station from which SpaceX rocket ships will ferry astronauts to the Lunar surface. At this point, what happens next becomes a little more nebulous. NASA is currently researching the feasibility of founding a permanent colony on the Moon on the South Pole (I also have some things to say about this landing site in the future that I can't talk about right now, but resources could be slightly more plentiful than is known currently).
The target year for human feet to stand on the Moon again is no farther than the year 2024. This timeline can and probably will slip, but it's currently unlikely to slip significantly. Before the year 2030, we're highly likely to be inhabiting the Moon again, this time, with no intention of leaving. The Artemis program will aim to develop a lunar economy as a way of incentivizing both more public and private investing in lunar exploration.
One thing that I'm personally happy about is that with with rockets finally becoming cheaper to use, and spacecraft working autonomously now most of the time, it is predicted that the number of astronauts required to be experimental aircraft pilots from the military will probably go down. Let's send some more geologists to the Moon!
Oh and by the way, since I mentioned way stations earlier...
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- Astronauts on Mars: This has been the holy grail-goal of space exploration since humanity has realized Mars was another planet. NASA's Artemis program is designed to not simply be a lunar program. The goal isn't just to create a lunar economy: the goal of the Artemis program is to create a sustainable lunar presence so that the Moon can be used as a way station for much deeper space exploration. The idea is that with easier access to the lunar surface, NASA will be able to rapidly run tests and develop technologies that we would need to embark on what could be the most treacherous and epic human exploration adventure in history. It would also be fantastic logistical support to a potential permanent or semi-permanent colony on Mars.
... and NASA may not even get there first.
SpaceX, eager to showcase their own Starship, is currently planning a human mission to Mars in 2026. Humans have never trod on another planet before. This event, whether done by SpaceX, NASA, or any other entity, would be one of the greatest accomplishments in human history. It would hopefully mark the dawning of a new era in human civilization, for the betterment of us all.
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- Venus: It's been decades since NASA has sent a mission to Venus. The number of Venus experts has gradually dwindled, and now we are in danger of all of them retiring out of planetary science before their knowledge can actually be passed on. Thankfully, NASA just announced two separate missions to Venus to investigate basically everything you can possibly imagine. DAVINCI+ will send a lander to the surface and VERITAS will orbit the planet and map the surface in high resolution for the first time. We don't really know what sort of surprises this incredible world holds in store for us. It may be that we find a planet full of active volcanism, and evidence that long ago it was habitable for life as we know it.
Astrobiologists have recently begun paying even closer attention to this planet as there have been some interesting signs that, and I say this cautiously, Venus may have biosignatures. Ultimately, it's an entire planet, our neighbor, and we are going to see incredible images, and learn so much about planets, how they form, evolve, and improve our understanding of how easily a terrestrial world can become habitable. Both missions launch this decade.
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- The Search for Life: There's been a veritable revolution in exoplanet hunting over the last decade. Missions like Kepler have provided us with mind-boggling amounts of data to go through, much of which has led to the discovery of so-called exoplanets, planets in other star systems. Right now we are closing in on approximately 5000 confirmed exoplanets.
It's almost impossible to mention exoplanets without immediately breaking into the subject of habitable zones. The fact of the matter is that we're well into the numbers game that one day, will turn up something stunning that will change humanity forever. In my opinion, it's a matter of time. With the rate of exoplanet detections growing rapidly, it seems like a matter of rapidly shrinking time before we come across a truth that, if it is out there, will reveal itself.
Scientists are currently studying a relativistic telescope concept which would make use of the light-bending properties of relativity, combined with the mass of the Sun, to warp light in such a way that it magnifies the image of whatever is in the warped light. Such a telescope could reveal surface details of an exoplanet: if there are oceans, we would be able to resolve them. Same to mountain ranges. City lights.
Whatever the truth is, it may be difficult to hide from the astronomers of Earth for much longer as our sight has officially pierced the interstellar veil and active searches for signs of life outside the Solar System have absolutely begun.
Breakthrough Starshot is a mission concept that would actually send a small spacecraft to our nearest stellar neighbor, Proxima Centauri. Around this star is an exoplanet: Proxima Centauri b. What would a flyby mission see on this mystery planet? Right now, we have no idea. Proxima Centauri b orbits in its star's habitable zone. Unfortunately, if this mission ultimately makes it off the ground, it would take in the range of 30 years to reach its destination and send its photographs back. Fortunately, that's within most of our naturally remaining lifetimes. I think it's worth the wait.
We won't be waiting idly however. Right here in our very Solar System, we are closing in on a number of ways in which the idea of a habitable zone can be played around with. Icy moons around places like Jupiter and Saturn have seriously reopened questions of where life-as-we-know-it could live. Queue the discovery of the ecosystems living around hydrothermal vents at the bottom of the lightless oceans of Earth. Diverse communities of never-before-seen creatures were living entirely without sunlight being involved at any point in their ecosystem.
Scientists now believe hydrothermal vents exist on moons like Europa and Enceladus, inside liquid water oceans, hidden under the ice. In a few years, NASA is launching a mission to fly around Europa. Perhaps it well get a chance to fly through one of the erupting geysers and take a look around. A mission to land on the surface is being designed as we speak to be proposed to NASA.
Never in human history, written and unwritten, have we realistically had to contend with the idea of knowing the Truth (as Mulder puts it). Well, contend away folks. We might not be wondering for a whole lot longer. Things might move slowly, until they don't.
Space exploration has never been boring, but we are without a doubt entering a golden age for space science and exploration.
(Image credit: Steve Jurvetson~NASA~NASA/JPL-Caltech~ESO/M. Kornmesser respectively)
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solarsavoy · 3 years ago
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My World Monday, the solar system
Today, I'm going to talk about the solar system and a bit of how the planet and moons of Thera are set up. I'm a bit of a space nerd and love looking up information about how stars and planets are formed and I've watched the extraterrestrial worlds documentary on Netflix and I just find it all so fascinating. So, I did a little research and really got into how my planet, Thera, was formed.
A lot of stars expel things that eventually form planets. A lot of the metals and rocks collect closer to the star, making the more rocky planets, and then a lot of the gases actually get completely expelled out of the solar system. What sticks around collects and forms what are called the gas giants. Then usually any other objects past the gas giants are collected from things expelled from other solar systems including but not limited to asteroids, comets, blackholes and dead stars.
For Thera's solar system, the stars actually reabsorbed the gas giants because there are two of them. It isn't uncommon for gas giants to fall back into their star. If it weren't for Saturn, the same fate would have befallen Jupiter in our own, but the gravity pulling Jupiter the opposite direction was enough to stabilize our solar system into what it is now. With Jupiter and Saturn together, the other rocky planets have stabilized as well. It's also the reason most asteroids collect in the asteroid belt.
Some gas giants will get really close and develop a super fast orbit if they aren't absorbed. (There's a star out there with a super Jupiter orbiting the sun very closely every six minutes or something insane like that.)
Anyway, the solar system for Thera is a binary star system, which means there are two stars. There are many forms of binary star systems, but most stars have what's called a habitable zone and most binary star systems have habitable zones that overlap and then cross over to the burn zone (where water evaporates) and the cold zone (unofficial term, I'm just calling it that, but it's too cold to live there is the point).
So, how do I make a habitable zone that consistently sustains life (and doesn't constantly phase in and out of the burn and cold zones) in a binary star system? Well, I decided to make the second star similar to a super Jupiter closely orbiting the main star. The smaller star revolves around the bigger one so that its habitable zone never crosses the habitable zone of the bigger one. The small one's fast enough that the heat it gives off adds to the main star and extends the habitable zone a little further out. And there you have it! I made a planet!
So now, why don't Therans have the word planet? (If you read the book, Deshi mentions the word and the people there are just so confused by it.)
Now, I made it so that Thera is habitable with five moons, but how are there no other planets? Well, I modeled this solar system after our own, believe it or not. If you add a second star to our sun, this really messes up the gravity balance and orbits of our solar system. All the gas giants got absorbed by one star or another and all the rocky planets collided and came together, making moons for Thera and Thera becoming a super Earth. (Earth is roughly 40k miles around and Thera is roughly 60k miles. Yes, I thought up the miles because at some point, someone circumnavigates the arctic circle and I needed to know how long it would take to make it realistic.)
If you've heard the story about our moon, it is suspected that Theia, a twin planet of Earth, shared Earth's orbit and later collided into Earth. (Believe it or not, I called my planet Thera before I learned the twin's planet name was Theia. Just more of my muse being a genius without me…) This gave me the idea to have Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, our moon, Mars' moons, and a few of the rocky moons of the gas giants all combined to make Thera and its five moons.
Following how stars that eat their own solar systems like this one, what made it stop is actually the second star. Stars are always expelling energy, most commonly known to most people in the form of different types of rays. There's actually more than just rays, but it's not necessary to get into all of that. With the second star whipping around the main one, it's actually expelling more than normal. This is what keeps Thera where it is.
Okay, so we have the stars, the planet, the moons, and all of it works. Except now, the planet is getting double blasted by radiation and other things.
What protects Earth from radiation isn't just the ozone layer, but also the magnetic field. Now, I didn't feel like getting into physics just to figure out my planet, so I just winged the technicalities on this one, but magnetic fields vary just as much as solar systems do. What makes our magnetic field is the concentration of iron in the planet's mantel. However, I have a problem. Iron is rare on Thera. But, I have a fix for that.
The Hummes moon, while small, has a retrograde (opposite the planet's rotation) orbit because it is fast. It'll orbit Thera roughly 2.5 times in a Theran day. This is because I decided to create the Hummes moon with an extremely high concentration of iron. This also lines up with the lore (see last week's post) about Hummes "seeing treasures and seeking to claim them". Since iron is rare, it is seen as a treasure. They have a knack for tracking down the element. Like I said before, I didn't feel like working out the physics to see if this was possible, but it sounds legit enough to me. The moon is fast moving, creating a sort of magnetic field around Thera, and this protects the planet from enough radiation so that life can thrive, at least in places.
There's a lot more I've researched for the specifics of the planet and I thought this was going to be shorter than it was and continue on into how Thera is set up ground level, but I think I'll save that for next week.
On a sidenote, I'm now completely in love with making planets. If you want help making your own make sense or have questions about it, let me know. It's super fun for me. ^^
Thanks for joining me on My World Monday. See you next week for more specifics on the planet itself. If you have questions about what I have here, let me know. Or if you'd like to hear about something else, send an ask.
Suggestions for future My World Mondays:
How the planet works. (May combine with below.)
The types of biomes featured on the the planet and how Thera itself works.
Weather on the planet.
The great Hummes/Solara conflict.
A bit more about Marka, the kingdom with a perpetual sunset. (I'll do a map and explain how time works on Thera too because they kind of go hand in hand.)
Excluded the previous last option here because I've decided it might have more spoilers than I'd like and only describing two out of the five just seems unfair.
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enhyupn · 4 years ago
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the perfect date! five
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masterlist | previous | next
a series in which enhypen’s 02s competitive side shines through when trying to get your attention. the only solution to end this tiring rivalry? three dates with each of them in the course of three weeks.
paring: 02s x gn!reader
word count: 4.6k
genre: fluff, angst, high school!au, someone’s gonna end up heartbroken
warnings: swearing, violence is mentioned, jealousy, arguments + there might be grammatical and spelling errors in this 😞
ask to be on taglist, updates are irregular
a/n this was a rollercoaster to write but also i tried to think about what i would do in that situation 🤨 i lowkey hate how i wrote tho but!! i tried to tie it in with the next part so
taglist: @dchannie17 @simluvbot @jaeyuni @neocrush @penghoons @min-arya @sunooflowerss @badroseee @cha-raena @ghjasksdk @strawr @jaypen @nanachuu @nikisboxysmile @softkons @kisshoons-main @enha-woodzies @hwngslove
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groggily walking up to multiple missed calls instead of your usual alarm wasn’t what you were exactly expecting on a wednesday morning. you couldn’t even feel your arm moving to pick up your phone on your bed side table, the numbness in your fingers slightly going away as you accepted the call.
you hadn’t even spared a glance at the caller id, not even caring at the point if a scammer was the one spamming your inbox. you wanted to get over with the call as soon as possible. you contemplate for a second, your brain not fully awake asking yourself if you should put the phone on speaker or not. your decision was made with a drowsy tap, the sound of a familiar voice flooded your bedroom (crossing out the scammer possibility).
“i’m outside, i can see your window from here” the oddly cheerful voice took over your senses, snapping your eyes wide open at the volume. you sit up from you bed, confused why he was so energetic at six thirty in the morning. you couldn’t help but crack your back and arm into the mic, the stiffness going away with the cost of jake cringing at the sound. “why did you need to do that at full volume?”.
“it’s therapeutic” you retaliate, your voice still sounding a little rough due to just being woken up. you had to fight the urge to bicker with jake, knowing it wouldn’t end well with your drowsy state of mind. you sigh, one leg out of the bed with the full intention of flipping jake off from your bedroom window. “you know what time it is, right?”.
“you know what time sunghoon wants us there at, right?” you couldn’t help but roll your eyes when opening your flimsy curtains, a self reminder to change them in the later week. “there you are” a smile intertwining with his words. you couldn’t help but dismissively shake your head when your eyes caught a glimpse of jake’s figure waving at you enthusiastically, you could even see his smile brightly shining on you.
“get inside” you ask him with your eyes slightly closed, your hands running through your hair sleepily. “i’m scared that if you stay there for any longer you’ll be reciting romeo and juliet to the whole neighbourhood”.
“rise up, beautiful sun, and kill the jealous moon. the moon is already sick and pale with grief because—” his short lived shakespeare performance was dropped in an instant when you ended the call. with your eyes following him as he made his way to your doorstep, a light giggle escaping absentmindedly. your eyes widened at your action, not expecting it at all.
“what the hell was that” you almost slapped yourself in shock, shaking it off you drop your phone onto your bed (throwing it would be the more realistic word honestly). a loud groan coming out of your mouth when your tiredness finally caught up to you, a reminder than you had woken up just to go to school. “jake sim did not just make me giggle like a school girl” you whispered, embarrassed by yourself as you held up your school uniform in disgust, a wave of shudders falling onto you.
even without the presence of jake in front of you, you knew that he was almost impatiently waiting for you in your living room right underneath you. with one last tug at your obnoxious tie, you take a closer glance at your mirror. your hands fidget around your face, hair and anywhere you thought you needed to fix up on. humming the lyrics of a catchy song stuck in your head, you feel your heart suddenly drop at the memory of the previous night before.
as dramatic as it may look, you were not ready to see jay later in the morning. embarrassing yourself and being potentially confessed to was the first part of your worries, having to face him after doing those was now currently your main problem. you contemplate for a moment, eyes trained your your reflection in the mirror as a way to build your slowly deteriorating confidence. with a deep breath you closed your eyes, the calming air surrounding you finally taking it’s place—
“are you ready?” multiple loud knocks interrupted you abruptly, scaring you to the point of almost screaming. you knew from the ability to comfortably go around your home like it was his own, that this impatience came from jake himself. you roll your eyes as you roughly grab your bag from the corner of your room, your expression not growing any more happier when you swung your door open.
“you’re so annoying, you know that right?” you mentioned as you stomped past him, the boy only chuckling to himself seeing you so agitated. he followed you down to your dining room, his feet feeling light as he bounced around you excitedly.
“we’re also going to be late” he mentions, pausing his words to look down on his oddly expensive watch. you chew on a piece of toast that seemed to be a little stale, your eyes bringing themselves to the shiny object in admiration. you knew that jake was well off but from the looks of it, he was definitely more than just well off. “do you like it?” his words catch you off guard.
“what?” you blink a few times, you feel yourself snapping back into reality watching jake chuckle to himself quite theatrically. you scowl slightly when he shook his hands in the air to dismiss his previous comment, using two of your fingers to try and shove in the rest of the toast.
“you’re gonna choke on that you know?” jake mentions to you as he walked around your living room. you hadn’t even noticed his wandering curiosity until you heard his voice in the background. you shake your head, trying to send the message to him that you’ll be alright. with your eyes trained on your best friend, you couldn’t help but grin softly to yourself at the sweet expression on his face.
you noticed in his hand was a picture of you from your first day of high school (jake nowhere to he seen since you two didn’t start to be aquatinted until later on in the day). his eyes light up in almost delight at your small awkward figure in front of your school, his head turning excitedly towards you with the picture held out in his hand. you laugh at his enthusiasm before making your way to him, not forgetting to gulp the last piece of bread in your mouth.
“you’re so cute in this!” jake’s compliment only brought him a light slap on the shoulder in retaliation, a shy smile on your face hiding from him. he brings the photo closer towards you, you could almost feel how amused he was from just standing beside him. “how have i never seen this before?” he questions, his eyes still glued to the old picture of you.
“because it’s embarrassing” you express, a sigh escaping your mouth as you take the picture from his hands. “i can’t believe you saw me looking like this and was like, let me talk to them!” an energetic snort coming out of your nose. jake only stared at you sheepishly at your words, knowing the full truth behind his introduction to you.
“well actually—”
“it’s almost seven” you exclaim in shock. jake closed his mouth in almost in an instant, his shy attempt to reveal his actions behind the first day of school. “the bus comes on ten minutes” you place a finger onto your chin to think about what your next move should be, run to brush your teeth and inevitably be late for the bus or be on time for the bus but brush your teeth in the gross bathrooms on campus?
“are we gonna go?” jake questions as he fiddled with the strap on his bag. you stare at him for a second, the action creeping out the boy just a little bit due to your trained eyes looking more like a glare than anything. “hey, earth to—”
“jake, i’ll be back in about...” you back up briskly, your feet already guiding you to your bathroom. you could see the boy’s eyes roll, knowing all too well what you were about to do. this hasn’t been the first time you’ve almost caused the two of you to be late for the bus, this time might also just be added to that already long and tiring list. “i’ll be out in four minutes! get you’re feet warmed up we can make the bus in five minutes without stopping!”.
“y/n you can just—”
“jake trust me!” you shouted from your bathroom, slightly muffled from the toothbrush in your mouth. even with your annoying actions, jake didn’t seem to let that shy smile falter on his lips. with his hands running through his hair he only tried to think of the positives in this situation, your timing was always mostly good (a 60% chance you were actually going to make it to the bus on time!).
i’ll trust them jake thought to himself hopefully. when i have i ever doubted them?
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jake wishes that this was the only time he would ever doubt you. as much as he loves you, he knew that standing at the bus stop watching your hourly bus drive off wasn’t something he was going to instantly forgive you for. he takes a glance at you, your apologetic expression taking over your face as you pouted your lip. even with his overbearing crush on you, nothing was able to control his soon to be burst of anger.
“you told me—”
“i only estimated!” you put your hands up in the air defensively. you were now chewing your cheek in dissatisfaction at your timing just being a second off, maybe you should of jumped in front of the bus to force them to let you in or even something along those lines. “hey, maybe we should—”.
“i’m not taking anything from you right now” jake stopped you, you nod admitting your mistake knowing if you were him you wouldn’t trust yourself either. “god” he sighs out in frustration, your guilt creeping in when he started to rub the temples of his forehead in defeat. “you text sunghoon we might be late, if we start walking now we might be able to be there in twenty minutes”.
“huh— oh okay” you spoke timidly, “i’m sorry by the way”. your eyes avoiding his in embarrassment from this whole situation, staring at your moving feet as you made your way down the road to your school. jake’s eyes softened at your awkwardness, even though you messed up he still couldn’t find himself hating you with everything in him (only hating you with some parts of him).
his eyes trained on your hands, rapidly typing out a message to sunghoon in an attempt to redeem yourself for your wildly incorrect timing. his stare traced your ever changing expressions, your lips turning into a flat line at sunghoon’s dissatisfying bland reply before plastering a small smile on your face. jake knew well that it wasn’t the time to get suspicious or jealous, already being mad at you for a short period of time was enough negativity with his feelings surrounding you. nevertheless, he tried to take a peak at your phone, wanting to see what exactly placed a small smile on your face.
his eyes seemed to fail him as all he could get were motion blurs of your screen, the messages and words shaking through his eyes making them unreadable for the most part. he could only catch a small jay on the side of your phone, a small scowl appearing on his face at the sight. yes, the two did previously make some sort of oath to not play the jealous side character but jake couldn’t help but prepare himself for that role. with his tongue poking the inside of his cheek, he looks back at your face, your side profile almost causing him to cough on his spit. blank silence falling right onto him.
why didn’t he know what to say? talking to you was easy but in this moment, the confrontation of asking you what exactly you were with jay scared him so much that it almost rendered him speechless. he kept opening his mouth over and over again, no words appearing as he, at the same time, tried to think of a way to start a conversation with you.
“jay told me something last night” jake silently thanked you for subconsciously reading his mind. he watched as you placed your phone into your pocket, your breathing slightly uneven due to the speed walking. “i want advice because i genuinely don’t know what to think and you’re the only person in my life currently”.
“what did he say?” he couldn’t let his curiosity show that much, sounding a little bit uninterested through his words. “was it something like—”
“i think he confessed to me last night” you exclaimed blankly. jake almost felt himself stop in the middle of the street but, the fact that you two might soon feel the wrath of an annoyed sunghoon was the thing that stopped him from doing so. he stared at your eyes simply blinking with no emotion, like you were trying to figure out how you were supposed to feel yourself in that moment. “i asked when he started and stopped liking me— something like that but, then he said he’s never stopped liking me?”.
“i think that honestly speaks for itself” he forced out a laugh, trying to appear calm compared to the loud screaming in his head with himself. he noticed your head turning to you, a sigh letting out as you aggressively placed your hands into your school blazer in an attempt to express whatever you were feeling.
“i know but— never mind just forget it” you try and begin to ramble, stopping yourself from feeling more exposed than you already were. at one point, through your very quick thought process, you decided that keeping your feelings in wasn’t going to do any good for your relationship with jake. plus, you trust him and you desperately needed advice on something like this. “i’m just confused, how has he liked me for this long? and i didn’t even have a clue that he liked me in any way too”.
“what are you trying to say?” jake shakily asked, the pace of your walking already slightly quickening with each word the two of you were saying. he could feel rocks and sticks under his shoes but it didn’t stop him from stably walking along with you.
“what i’m saying is” you let a sigh out blandly, the exercise not really getting to you just yet. “and without being a bitch about it too, jay has the capabilities to have any person he likes like him back? why me? some loser in his middle school class that helped him and sat beside him a few times?”.
“don’t call yourself a loser” he rolls his eyes in your self deprecation. you chew on your lip in discomfort at his reply, unsure what to say to it. “you have so many qualities that are loveable, if anything you have the capability to have anyone you like, like you back”. jake could feel his ears heat up in embarrassment at his mini praise.
“you’re only saying it because you’re my best friend” you mumbled quietly, not really wanting him to hear you in all honesty. you try and look at the view around you, the embarrassment now seeking in due to your negative feelings. “sorry about this—”
“i’m not saying it as your best friend” jake sternly confessed, taking a gulp at his soon boldness. “i don’t know if you’ve forgotten but, i’m saying it as someone who’s in love with you”. your head automatically turned towards him, like something about his words were magnetic. you’ve heard this all before but, hearing it again with more sincerity only caused your cheeks to heat up uncontrollably. your heart loudly beating in your chest as you tried to steady your feet, unsure if his words were about to trip over at any moment.
“i know more than anyone why someone would like you” he continues, not stopping to even see your expression at all. you feel your feet slow down to a final stop, standing with your eyes staring at his face blankly. yet, even with the plain look on your face, it spoke almost a million words to jake. “you’ve known this since i’ve confessed, i’m not just your best friend y/n”.
you wince in your head to yourself at the mention of your unofficial rejection, your missing reply to his confession stinging you as much as it did to him. you could see his hands slightly shake, the emotions now catching up to the rest of his body. you could feel your eyes almost melt at his awkward yet bold stance, knowing that he was very serious about what he was saying.
“i didn’t know i was this good at keeping things in but this has bothered me ever since i’ve told you i liked you yesterday” you noticed the flutter of cherry blossom leaves fall around him, perfectly contrasting the mess of a scene unfolding right in front of your eyes. if anything, this was a scene made for movies but, upsettingly, you were the one that had to personally make jake feel so vulnerable like this. “please, give me an answer. i don’t care if you can’t return my feelings i just want some sort of reply— please”.
“i— i can’t” you finally had some input into this. with your mouth slightly agape your words disappeared, the shock rendering you speechless. you stood in front of him, with your eyes shaking, unsure what exactly you should do.
you would of never expected this on a morning right before school, before a meeting with another two possible love interests nonetheless. you didn’t know how to reply to him, one part of you wanted to say no, the fear of losing your best friend over something like a relationship not working out scared you to no end. the other part wanted to say yes, but you were unsure where this answer was genuinely coming from. you definitely have, in the past, thought of being romantically involved with jake but soon then quickly threw the thought away in embarrassment.
you only had one answer for him, the genuine yet unacceptable i don’t know. you didn’t know what the future would hold for the two of you in either of the yes or no options. you played with your fingers, avoiding as much eye contact with the boy as you could. in the corner of your eyes you could see his feet shuffling on the spot, a clear sign he was growing more agitated with your silence.
“i get it” he softly stated, you could of sworn you could of even heard a scoff escape his lips too. “i don’t know what i’m saying, jay was right! why am i always pressuring you in these situations? i’m supposed to be someone that comforts you— i’m supposed to—”
“what are you saying jake? you’re always there for me so why am i— why am i the one always hurting you?” you demanded to know, your small tears beginning to well up at your own words. the both of you finding undeniable truth in your sentence, even if it did hurt you to admit that.
“can we just forget this ever happened?” he pleaded, his knees growing weak from the obvious shaking in his joints. you knew even with the conversation only lasting a mere ten minutes, it’s completely drained everything from the two of you. “i shouldn’t of asked... i’m sorry—”
“i want” you began, your eyes closing absentmindedly trying to think harder about your next line. “i want to say yes jake, i desperately want to”. you bit your lip, the action not at all soothing your state of mind.
“then why can’t you?” he began to insist, the previous eagerness reappearing at the sound of hope. “you can say yes—”.
“i’m confused!” you cried out, your hands grabbing the top of your head in distress as you tried to comprehend this situation. “i’m confused about everything! jay, sunghoon— you! everything is happening so fast, nothing is making sense to me; it’s all nonsense. jake i want to say yes, i desperately do, but it’s not that easy for me”.
silence fell on the two of you after your miniature rant, the two of you finally running out of things to say. at once, your eyes were locked on his, the intimacy almost driving you mad yet again. you could see his chest mirror yours, the heavy yet soft breaths escaping his mouth from the excessive conversation. you shove your hands back into your pockets, trying to find comfort in the sudden warmth rushing to your hands.
“can we go back?” jake was the first to declare something, the look of defeat taking over everything in him. “go back to last week, what we were? just best friends that hated world history together?”.
“and forget about all of this?”
“it’s for the best y/n” he sighed, realising how stressful this was for the two of you. “just for my sake? you don’t have to properly answer me until you’re ready”.
“is this what you really want?” your face softens, your feet bringing you closer to the boy. your heart stings when you see him take a step backwards, his feelings well too obvious through his actions.
“of course not” he answered, his fingers rubbing the back of his neck bitterly. “but, i’m not going to be stupid about this. you’re too important to me, if i let you go like this i would beat myself up for the rest of my life”. a sad chuckle escapes his lips, one that spread a frown across your mouth.
“i don’t know—”
“just say yes” he in some way demands, the time for your answer impatiently ticking away. his previous emotional state being replaced with an irritated mood that wanted questions to he answered as quickly as possible. his eyes rolling was the last thing you had expected, causing you to scowl in annoyance.
“fine” you cross your arms defensively. you feel your feet start to make their way down the road, anger now taking over you at his sudden change of mood. you turn your head, getting a look at jake’s standing figure staring at you in confusion. “i thought we were forgetting about this whole thing?” you hadn’t meant to come off as aggressive as you did, the harshness almost making you flinch.
jake just stared at you blankly, watching you toughly turn around before, what it seemed to be, stomping the rest of your way to school. the thought of your festival booth meeting now being a past memory, knowing that the two of you would definitely be late when you finally arrive to the school. he lets a sigh out before taking his first step, the wind making him struggle with not looking like an idiot that just got his heart broken for the second time by the same person.
in the back of him mind he made a reminder to tell sunghoon that the two of you were sorry for missing the meeting, knowing he had a soft spot for you, he wouldn’t be that mad if jake explained exactly what had happened. he lets out a long and deep sigh, the feeling of pure annoyance lacing it. he knew he couldn’t predict what the future was about to hold for the two of you, staring at your obviously irritated stomping in front of him hazily.
scarily enough, the realisation that another person was also observing this mess of a morning hadn’t dawned on him just yet. in fact the same person had watched this whole argument go down.
lee heeseung with wide eyes tried to soak in what had happened, the boy firstly only noticing you two as a coincidence but stayed on purpose when he had noticed your conversation didn’t really go down the road he had originally assumed it would go. when he had noticed that you two finally made a lengthy distance from him, he grabbed his phone out of his pocket in pure surprise, fumbling with it already knowing he was going to talk to.
heeseung: your crush y/n... do they have a best friend named jake?
sunghoon: Yes, why do you ask? Also, why aren’t you at school yet?
sunghoon: Can you see them actually? They are late for the meeting we have, actually they’ve just about missed it. Very unlike Y/N.
heeseung: i think there’s a problem .
sunghoon: I already know about Jake’s crush on Y/N, I doubt there is anything worse than that.
sunghoon: Jay has a crush on them too. Popular person.
heeseung felt guilty when he had finished typing out his reply, he knew how much sunghoon liked you and telling you that you indirectly admitted to jake that you liked him too was probably very problematic to sunghoon’s already fragile feelings. he takes a deep breath in before hitting the send button, scared for his reply.
heeseung: i think y/n likes jake too...
sunghoon: Oh, really?
sunghoon: I can’t say I didn’t expect that. Of course they would like him, they’re perfect for each other.
the boy felt himself frown at his phone, knowing well that behind sunghoon’s reply was an emotional wreck. sunghoon been holding onto that crush on you for almost a year, he had told heeseung his secret the very first moment he had realised it. hours before heeseung received multiple texts from his friend, excitedly telling him about walking with you home and how he had successfully flirted with you. heeseung had known sunghoon for his whole life, being neighbours did honestly help the situation along with their parents being friends. the boy can’t ever recall a time where sunghoon had feelings that were even remotely romantic, only ever being confessed to instead of the one confessing.
heeseung: i’m sorry hoon
sunghoon: No, it’s okay! They’re a good friend anyways so it’s good that I can still talk to them :)
heeseung: sunghoon i promise to you that i will help you
sunghoon: There’s nothing to help with, I’m satisfied with the situation now
heeseung knew very well that sunghoon wasn’t satisfied with the situation, knowing he was probably playing with his sleeves anxiously staring at the classroom door waiting for you to walk in. he tried to quickly rack through his head for some ideas to help his dearest friend in this situation. his eyes lighting up ecstatically when he had finally figured out the perfect plan, one that was sure to work perfectly for sunghoon.
heeseung: go on a date with y/n
heeseung: all three of you go on a date with y/n to be exact
however, his message had more to what it said. he could feel a proud grin growing on his face at his plan finally making sense in his head. to make it more clear, this plan obviously had some sort of advantage for his best friend.
three dates, all with you. what more could you add to a perfect plan like that? all he need to do next was convince you to go on those three dates.
which could be an easy task... hopefully?
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friendofhayley · 4 years ago
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Monthly shout-out to every fanfic creator for all fandoms! Thank you for posting your talent for free and making our fandoms a more creative place. <3 This fic rec includes 12 fics from One Direction, Harry Potter, and Teen Wolf fandoms.
Larry (One Direction)
1. Praise the Mutilated World by @eeveelou, @creamcoffeelou | dystopian AU - A/B/O - on par with Hunger Games for dystopian world/plot - maybe its the feminism but I saw some parallels between governing of vagina-welders and omegas - 106k
It was August when everything changed.
By October, the leaves changed, and so did Louis’ heart.
2. i'll be someone who won't be forgotten by @socialiststyles | oof oof oof this hit close to home (for Sagittariuses) - love confessions - friends to strangers to lovers - angst with a happy ending - 27k
"I’m just—" (Harry hiccups) "there’s a lot here."
And – yeah. There are oceans between them and mountain ranges surrounding them and Louis can feel tectonic plates shifting beneath his unsteady feet, pulling them further and further apart by the heartbeat. There are countries of distance, but there are pages and maps and textbooks of shared histories, moments documented and carefully filed away and Louis can’t remember thinking complete thoughts before he thought of Harry.
3. Send Me Your Pillow (The One That You Dream On) by @lesbianiconharrystyles | this was so soft and lovely - gAyBO - omega/omega - fluff and anxiety - 1k
Harry is embarrassed to realize he's nesting but can't stop stealing Louis' things for his nest.
4. falling, catching by tsuneni | light academia - first time - strangers to lovers - creatives in love - 23k
Harry’s jotting down some more notes when he feels a thud on his right shoulder. He doesn’t flinch, thank God, because when he turns his head to the right his suspicions are confirmed. The boy has fallen asleep on Harry’s shoulder.
When Harry lets out the breath he had been holding, the sleeping boy pushes his nose further into the burgundy fabric of Harry’s sweater, and wraps his arm around Harry’s waist.
This boy is going to be the death of him.
Wolfstar (Harry Potter)
5. I Tried Writing Your Name In The Rain, But It Never Came, So I Used The Sun Instead by @lenscribbles | I loved that Remus was a POC and his Syrian mother is amazing - friends to lovers - mutual pining - and nothing bad happens to them ever in the future :) - 12k
Don’t get Remus wrong. He loves his friends, he does! Loves them to the moon and back in fact. They’re his people, his favorite part of everyday, his found family. He’d do anything for them. But the thing is that doesn’t take away from the very simple fact that his friends are fucking ridiculous. Remus knows this, has known it for five years now. But it doesn’t stop him from startling awake on the morning of his sixteenth birthday surprised by the sound of fireworks exploding in their dormitory and a raucous chorus of “Happy birthday Moony!” being shouted into his ear with jaunty gusto.
“You are wicked, wicked wizards,” Remus moans from where he refuses to get up on his bed, covering his face with his hands, a good call on his end considering that the very next moment he feels a cascade of confetti pouring all over him. “The worst of the worst! You deserve to rot in Azkaban!”
“Oh how you flatter us Moonykins,” Sirius croons, pulling him up while James and Peter begin a frankly awful rendition of For He’s A Jolly Good Fellow.
6. Our Destiny in the Stars by orphan_account | non-magical AU - body insecurity issues - trans Sirius - amputee Remus - 11k
Having no luck in the dating field, and insecure about his body, Remus checks out a dating website which offers the users the opportunity to get to know a person before seeing what they look like. It's during this time he meets Sirius, an enthusiastic teacher--and they immediately click. When they agree to meet, Remus sees a photo of Sirius and immediately panics. He's too good looking to ever be interested in someone like Remus. What the tawny-haired man doesn't know, is Sirius has already checked him out online and has fallen head over heels for the adorable editor.
Drarry (Harry Potter)
7. Old Magic (series) by @mystickitten42 | Drarry runs away together pree-HBP - very realistic getting-together - Narcissa is the GOAT - poor Sirius stuck in the middle - 2+ parts
Harry is undeniably numb. Still reeling from the sudden death of his godfather, he’s back at the Dursleys and everything seems hopeless. One day bleeds into the next. But, as they say, nature abhors a vacuum…
Draco is unimpressed. The Dark Lord and his infernal giant snake have taken over Malfoy Manor and he’s confined to his rooms. He feels like a prisoner and it’s just not right. He’s a Malfoy. Itching for confrontation he decides to go visit Harry Potter.
Things don’t go according to plan.
8. The Importance of Being Draco Malfoy (series) by @upon-poppyhills | this is just great, I love that without memories Draco is without prejudice - Harry goes from suspicious to denial to crushing - brief but wonderful Draco/Justin Finch-Fletchley - I can't wait for everyone to find out about Draco's head - 3+ parts
The answer to the age-old question, "What if instead of a scratch on the arm, Buckbeak had stomped on Draco's head instead and caused tragic memory loss?"
It was a truth universally acknowledged that the path to reforming a Slytherin prince never did run smooth.
9. Dear Cousin, Love Regulus by @xx-thedarklord-xx, @llap115 | I confused this with another fic so I never read it until now and it's THE BEST - Drarry talk like dark academia boys sometimes - I'm so glad Draco had Regulus T.T - when he meets the Regulus portrait!! *screams* - 86k
As the sole Malfoy heir, Draco understood that his path was set long before his birth; who to be, how to act and what his choices should be. What he had not counted on was the power of outside influences. Letters from his deceased cousin caused him to realize that he did have choices, starting with the choice to be someone else, to be who he wanted to be. The road to self-discovery was difficult and navigating that path in the shadow of Harry Potter was its own challenge but maybe, just maybe, his friends would help him along the way. And he would owe it all to Regulus Black.
10. bury the dead where they're found by @rocketdocket | THIS FIC is the ultimate found family fic - sometimes people prefer the closet and that's awesome! - PTSD and suicidal thoughts - queer people are just better than the straights, sorry not sorry - 52k
The war is over. Or at least, that's how it feels for everyone else. But not for Harry. He can't escape the memories and the nightmares of the war, or his guilt about those who died for him. While all he wants is to be alone, finding a family in the most unlikely of places may be just what he needs.
Sterek (Teen Wolf)
11. A Californian Werewolf in New York by @dancinbutterfly, knight_changes | I love that Oz from Buffy is just there - friends to lovers - bottom Derek - misunderstandings - 16k
When Derek finally realizes that there's nothing left for him in Beacon Hills, he goes back to New York, gets a life, falls in love and finds his home.
12. (they say) this should feel something like fire by dallisons | mental and physical trauma - Boyd & Stiles friendship - dream!Erica - rebuilding - 11k
"Turn it off." The pack looked up, stunned into silence by the first words they'd heard from him in weeks.
Stiles stood, trembling - his knees weak. He tried to run and collapsed, his bad leg failing him once again. Derek caught him. "Turn it off," he said, his voice unmistakably a growl.
The water continued leaking from the loose faucet, and all Stiles heard was Erica's blood against the concrete. Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. Drip.
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cosmicloved · 3 years ago
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IT’S TIME FOR MIN’S OFFICIAL INTRO... a mintro, if you will. KIM MINWOO, KNOWN AS MIN; 25 YEAR OLD POPSTAR, MEMBER OF POP DUO SO:DA. this is a muse i made back in march 2019 (for an rp group that never got off the ground, wherein i was a co-admin) and then reworked for my multimuse later the same year. for the past year or two, he hasn’t had a faceclaim so, although i’ve continued to work on this character in my head/outside of tumblr, i haven’t spoken about him much. this post is a rehash of the original intro i posted when i added him to the multi in 2019 but updated to be more accurate in 2022. please click the read more to learn about min!
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FIRST!! I want to be clear that Min is not a K-Pop idol, he’s a popstar. Technically, he started off in the K-Pop industry, is still managed by a Korean company and was trained under that system but to describe him that way is no longer accurate. I don’t remember why I did it this way but that’s how it has been since 2019 and I’m not about to change it now. I know there’s a whole Fictional Idol Community or whatever but Min will be in no way connected to that. I’m happy to write threads set in Korea if need be because he likely travels there a lot but he is based in the US and lives in LA. (i’m also very aware there’s already a k-pop idol called min and i mean no disrespect to her or miss at all. however, idols CAN share names and minwoo is a fictional man anyway.)
BASICS
full name is kim minwoo (김민우 / 金玟雨 / kim min-u) but he goes by MIN, both as a stage name and a nickname. call him either min or minwoo, he doesn’t really care either way. (he’s fed up with people pronouncing the W...it’s silent...) he was born on the 12th June 1996. he’s 25 years old.
min is tomo’s best friend. tomo, having a lifetime of awful hollywood experience on min, was one of the first friends he made after moving to LA and they were both around the same age. they’re very close and i’m very happy to bring min back bc they were supposed to be kind of a package deal for a while.
min isn’t a bad guy and he’s professional. he treats his staff well. basically, he’s not an out-and-out jerk. HOWEVER, there’s definitely...........a glimmer of bastard about him. i actually don’t like writing out a muse’s personality like this bc it feels limiting and i prefer to just let that come out in the writing but i’d probably sum min up as...essentially good but definitely has a bit of an attitude. nobody can tell if he’s a jerk or he just can’t read a room. however, he IS often consciously annoying.
min actually grew up in the UK. born in seoul, moved to a london when he was four and then moved back to seoul when he was thirteen and then to LA when he was nineteen.
he’s the second youngest of four siblings and the only boy. i haven’t named his older sisters but his younger sister is about four years younger than him and her name is nabi (she was the only sibling born in london). his mother is a hairdresser and his father is a teacher.
min is autistic. i, the writer, am also autistic and i wanted to see an annoying popstar boy with autism. this is my wish. i do not want to see any weird ableist bullshit bc i’ve had this issue with autistic muses in the past -_________-  but the idea that all autistic muses have to be sweet and nice and well-behaved is NOT something to which i’d like to subscribe. it’s infantalising and gross. however, i would like to write min as a realistically flawed person without him being painted as a Mean Weirdo.
CAREER
he’s a member of the pop duo, SO:DA. why are they a duo? bc i like duos. moving on. SO:DA debuted in south korea back in 2015 but the company made the decision to move it abroad a year later in an attempt to globalise their output. it’s hard to consider them as a k-pop group as they’ve been based in LA for 5 years now and they release music entirely in english.
the group’s name was originally short for SOL & DAL, taken from the french word for sun (soleil) and the korean word for moon, but they dropped it after the move abroad. min was the member who represented the moon while his partner in the group was the sun. they’ve sort of kept the concept in terms of visuals and all the rest but they mostly don’t speak about it.
he’s a vocalist, maybe an occasional rapper, but his main selling points are his dancing and his looks, the latter being something about which he’s more bitter than he lets on. (he pretends to eat it up but he actually finds it pretty frustrating, a direct contrast to tomo who loves being the designated Pretty Boy so long as it’s not in clean, shiny way; if ur gonna call min pretty a bunch of times, compliment him somewhere else too at least once if u don’t want to end up on his list of enemies. he’s petty.)
i like to thing SO:DA is a group with a good, strong emphasis on dance. i just think dance is cool and interesting so i want my oc to be a good dancer :)  maybe i will make him collab with mio (not a typo, i do mean mio -- i realise her name is close to min’s) someday. for my own amusement.
EXTRA TRIVIA
he’s not great at interviews, despite them being a fairly sizeable part of his job. it’s not that he can’t be funny or charismatic on camera but structured interviews and min don’t really click. he’s become known for giving sort of irrelevant / off-kilter answers to interview questions or for looking at the interviewer / his groupmate instead of the camera / audience. sure, he has kind of an attitude because he likes to act Cool and Famous but he’s also not actually that adept at being a celebrity.
min isn’t allowed to do wild shit in public or else his management will come down on him like a tonne of bricks but he likes the idea of the Bad Boy image so he kinda...mooches off of tomo for the street cred. like they’re genuinely best friends and he’s not using tomo or anything shitty like that but i can’t say that min doesn’t enjoy being seen as trouble by proxy.
he’s not as adventurous as tomo in general but he still likes to tag along with tomo to parties and clubs when he feels like it. there’s never any pressure for him to go if he doesn’t want to, esp because he doesn’t get that much free time, but he likes hanging out with tomo. despite his aloof attitude towards most other people, he also doesn’t mind helping tomo out when he’s drunk because he likes feeling reliable. min’s used to being treated like an irresponsible child or like he’ll smash into pieces if he does something wrong so it’s almost liberating to look out for someone. (that said, it goes both ways -- tomo has definitely punched a guy for bothering min before.)
min got banned from club penguin when he was ten for saying fuck. (more than once bc saying it once only gets you banned for 24hrs.) it was his first experience with resenting authority for enforcing their rules on him 😔  i don’t know why i always include this fact, besides it being one of the first things i ever came up with for min, but i feel like it’s an important reflection of who he is. a deliberate pain in the neck.
he likes to keep this sort of...mysterious, tortured image but his upbringing was actually fairly ordinary. he gets on with his family and loves them a lot. nobody’s dead, there’s no awkward relationships.
he has two siamese cats. they have their own instagram account that’s about 40% run by min and 60% run by his manager when they have nothing better to do (usually after min has spammed them with pictures he’s taken). this has actually resulted in them having to separate their channels of contact by purpose; one messaging service will be used for important stuff, one will be used for casual stuff, one will be used exclusively for social media (cat pics & selfies), so on and so forth.
min’s management is just very controlling and overbearing & he’s totally overworked but hahaha we’re just going to ignore that bc arguing with the people in charge means risking your dream career in music & potentially losing it all, esp bc you skipped out on uni and fucked up a lot of high school just to pursue this job hahaha let’s just internalise that shit and get on with it.
actually drinks too much coca cola. that probably explains the stroppiness, as well as his awful sleeping patterns. i remember early on, i had this whole cherry coke aesthetic for him which is funny because he doesn’t even drink cherry coke. just regular coke. not coke zero. not diet coke. only regular coke. he hates pepsi.
min claims to be a vegetarian. min is not a vegetarian. the backstory there is pretty simple; min’s fussy. he has particular tastes. most kinds of meat, esp red meat, do not fall into his OK Zone. instead of having to suffer through important, fancy meeting dinners with posh steaks and not being allowed to use his fussiness as an excuse, he started claiming he was a vegetarian. people seemed to be more accepting of that. the only trouble is that he’s now widely known as a vegetarian when he doesn’t actually give a shit. the only people who know he’s bullshitting are his friends. he just wants a mcdonald’s double cheeseburger.
min lives on a diet of utter shit. he’s contractually obliged to eat healthily when preparing for promotions so he doesn’t just fuckin collapse on stage from malnutrition. pls eat a vegetable. he doesn’t have any issues with food, just for the record. he would just really prefer to live off snack food because. i don’t know.
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havenoffandoms · 5 years ago
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Geralt of Rivia is, for lack of a better phrase, a complicated man. Jaskier knows as much - he's been at the receiving end of sharp, near cruel comments (the fillingless pie comes to mind), but every so often he gets a glimpse of Geralt's humanity; when the white wolf's frown softens into something nearly comforting when he sees a young widow burst into tears; or when he will refuse coin from a worried father who just wants his daughter to come home to him, safe and unharmed. Under the boorish and cantankerous exterior hides a sensitive man who coos at his horse and always has a kind word for children. Admittedly, Jaskier rarely got to see Geralt's softer side and often the white wolf will bristle when Jaskier pointed out Geralt's kindness. The bard has therefore resigned himself to the fact that Geralt would always remain that sour-faced and emotionally constipated witcher who refuses to let anyone into the fortress he built around his big heart.
Well anyone but Eskel that is, as Jaskier realised the day he met Eskel for the first time.
In a small Temerian village plagued by noonwraiths - yes, noonwraiths plural - Geralt told Jaskier that they were expecting company that evening. The contract was too consequent for only one witcher and the alderman agreed to split the reward between two professionals so long as they took care of the problem. Jaskier couldn't wait to meet this other witcher and find out if they all were as irascible as the famed white wolf.
When Eskel arrived at the inn, shoulders nearly too wide to fit through the door without slightly angling them sideways as he stepped inside, Geralt's face instantly lit up. Jaskier had never seen his friend's face so... well, relaxed. Devoid of his usual frown, Geralt looked about twenty years younger.
"Wolf," the mountain of a witcher greeted Geralt in that same low bartione voice, silk over water as opposed to silk over gravel. The valley of scars on the right side of his face did not take away from his beauty. Honey golden eyes appraised Jaskier warily. "Wolf, and friend."
"Well, hi there, name's Julian Alf-"
Jaskier could not finish his introduction before Geralt rose from his seat and stumbled over into the other witcher's arms so great was his enthusiasm. A warm rumbling chortle tumbled past Eskel's lips as he wound his arms around Geralt.
"Hell, wolf, I missed you too."
Jaskier gaped. Yes, as undignified as this sounds. He gaped, eyes wide and rendered speechless as his broody friend turned into a touch-starved pup in a matter of seconds. All of ten years spent walking the path with Geralt and not as much as a "good to see you, Jaskier" uttered, and now this?
Jaskier could really not be mad at Geralt, though. It was painfully obvious from the start that Eskel was different.
Contract done and dusted, the two witchers and the bard spent some coin on ale and food one evening. There Jaskier got to truly appreciate the bond between Eskel and Geralt. It was the little things Jaskier noticed. The way Geralt's eyes darted across the table where Eskel sat eating his stew quietly, or the soft smile tugging at the corner of Geralt's lips when Eskel told them about his most recent negotiation-gone-wrong with a rich lord near Vizima. Amber eyes so full of fondness they almost glowed, fingers constantly itching to reach out for Eskel across the table, the amused chuckles, the secret smiles when Geralt thought no one was looking. Geralt and Eskel, two drops of water, two bodies sharing a single mind.
Jaskier could never hope to compete with that kind of complicity. And he didn't want to. He had never seen Geralt so happy, so excited, so relaxed around another person. And this Eskel, kind and gentle Eskel, was everything Jaskier could hope for in a mate for his best friend. Two sides of the same coin, two opposing personalities gravitating towards each other. Eskel was friendlier and more outgoing, but Geralt basked in Eskel's warmth. Geralt the realist, the cynic, and Eskel the dreamer, the believer. Without Geralt, Eskel was likely to steer too close to the sun, but without Eskel Geralt would never have left the ground.
There was a ballad in there somewhere, a tale of how the moon fell in love with the sun. Two opposites who complement each other. Much like there was no day without the night, there was no Geralt without Eskel.
That night when they retreated to their respective rooms, Geralt refused to let Eskel pay for another room. "It makes no sense, Eskel, bed in my room's plenty big enough." Indeed, thought Jaskier, it would be a right shame for Eskel to sleep in a separate bed when he was so very clearly inclined to share Geralt's. Eskel, who was probably just on the right side of tipsy, leaned into Geralt's space and nuzzled at his cheek before pressing a sensual kiss on the spot where Geralt's chin met his neck. Geralt snapped at him, though there was a certain playfulness reflected in the seemingly agressive action, and Eskel merely retorted by licking a wet trail along Geralt's strong neck. So lost in each other that the two witchers failed to see Jaskier still standing in the corridor. So carefree. So comfortable around each other. Well, who was Jaskier to deny them that insouciance?
A ballad of a lifetime was in the works. Valdo Marx would never be able to top that.
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maybe-a-fangurl · 4 years ago
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The Moon and the Sun (Zuko x Reader) Part 11
Part 1 Part 10
Masterlist
You were sitting out by the water, feeling the waves come up and softly flow over your feet before retreating back to the sea. It was the push and pull that you were longing for, but this was as close as you would be able to get to feelings it. Once you had reached Chameleon Bay you had automatically come out to the water, it was a habit you had picked up on when you were traveling through the earth kingdom. You would go and sit out by the water after you landed, either to heal yourself or to just feel the water moving. But as you reached the edge of the shore you realized you couldn’t feel the water flowing like you usually could, and that thought was enough to send you to your knees.
Once your knees hit the ground you fell forward, quickly catching yourself with your hands as you looked down at the sand. You felt as if your whole world was caving in, you felt utterly alone and helpless, abandoned. You closed your eyes, not willing any tears to escape as you slowly pushed yourself up so that you were now sitting with your legs crossed. And when you opened your eyes you just sat there, envying the ocean as the waves came on short to barely touch your feet before being pulled back.
Everyone understood that you had lost a lot during that one night, they didn’t know how much you truly had lost but they didn’t want to ask you. They were scared to ask what happened after they lost you in the tunnels, and they were even more scared to ask how you got the new scar on your face. So instead of asking they watched you sit on the shore, bringing you food and trying to start a conversation but after they realized you didn’t want to talk yet, they stopped asking. They were just content that you were still eating and were somewhat taken care of.
But after four days of you sitting out by the water, not leaving other than to go to sleep, Sokka decided it was time to talk to you. You hadn’t talked to anyone since that night, your last words being to Sokka before you started to sob and couldn’t get anything out. He had just pulled you into his chest, silently hoping that you would be okay and stop crying, but he didn’t realize when the tears stopped the you would also stop talking.
Sokka didn’t say anything as he walked to the shore and slowly sat down beside you, glancing to see that your eyes weren’t red and puffy anymore but instead looked lifeless, and he didn’t know which one was worse. In the past few days they just sat your food beside you before walking away, so when he sat down you knew that he wanted to talk.
“You’re being uncharacteristically quiet.” You said after a few moments of silence, and your voice was so quiet that Sokka questioned whether or not he had heard you.  
“I just didn’t want to talk if you weren’t ready to.” He said in a soft and caring tone, it was the same tone that he used when he confronted you about sneaking out in Ba Sing Se, the same tone that he used when comforting Katara, Aang, or Toph. He looked over at you, hesitating for a moment before he decided that he couldn’t wait any longer to know. “What happened once we were separated?”
“Once we were separated I ended up being found, I thought I was going to be able to get away, but I hit my head and when I woke up Azula was there and had already taken over the Dai Lee. I tried to get out a few times, but it never worked. The day Aang came they were taking me to the Fire Nation and I was able to get away from the Dai Lee agents who were escorting me and then I met up with Katara and Aang.” You paused for a moment as you looked down at your hands, which were now covered in scars that resembled lightening. They were small, barely noticeable, but they were all you could see when you looked down at your hands, and you knew that they stretched up your arms and to your back. “Why were they in the Catacombs that day?”
“Iroh came to us for help on finding Zuko, Azula had captured him and he knew that Katara would be wherever he was.” Sokka said and you couldn’t help but feel a sting in your chest when you realized they were there looking for Katara, not for you. Sokka seen the hurt that crossed your face, and he knew what you thought so he was quick to correct himself. “Y/N we did look for you, but we thought that maybe you hadn’t got out and they destroyed the Dai Lee tunnels so we thought that you were dead. But when Iroh came to us he said that Azula mentioned you to them, it was why she got the best of Zuko.”
“Azula has always used him and I against each other, she knows we make each other weak. That’s why she tried to kill me, she knew he would be stronger without me, no weaknesses and no reason to question which side of the war he belonged on. I know you just see her as a lunatic with fire and lightening but she is smart, smart enough to know that I always thought the best of her. I always knew she would hurt me, I have a scar across my back to prove that, but I never thought she would have it in her to kill me.” You said the words slowly, turning away from Sokka as you thought about the next words that were going to leave your mouth. “But that’s the worst part about it is that she didn’t kill me, at least if she killed me I wouldn’t have to live knowing that she tried to, and that he didn’t do anything about it.”
“Y/n you’re scaring me, you sound like you wish you would have died.” He said as he looked over at you in shock, practically praying that your next words would reassure him that you were going to be okay. Realistically he knew that you weren’t okay, that it would take a while for you to be okay again, but he wanted to know that you knew things would get better.
He just sat there looking at you, waiting on you to say something. But when he seen the tear run down your face he knew he wasn’t getting an answer, because you couldn’t give him one that wouldn’t scare him even more. So instead he just moved closer to you and pulled you into a hug, careful not to hurt you and giving you time to pull away if you didn’t want to be that close to anyone right now. But almost as soon as his arms went around you, you buried your face in his chest as you let out a broken sob.
You cried for a while, him just silently rubbing your back to comfort you. He was scared to say anything in the moment, scared he would make things worse, and even after you stopped crying he stayed silent. You had pulled away from him, now sitting beside him and once again looking out at the water.
“I know you feel like you’ve lost everything, but you haven’t. You still have us. Me, Katara, Toph, and Aang.” Sokka said after a while of silence. And as he looked over at you he felt the same protectiveness he felt when he seen Katara upset. “We’re your family, and we aren’t going to leave you, not like they did.”
“Sokka you have to calm down.” You said in a calm tone as you put your hand on his shoulder, trying to stop him from digging at the rocks that had just collapsed.
“You want me to calm down?!” He yelled as he turned around and looked at you, throwing his hands in the air. “How can you even ask me to be calm in a time like this?” “It’s okay, we’ll find them, and we’ll get out of here.” You said with confidence, but truth was you were terrified. You had traveled with Zuko and had been in a few situations that you didn’t know what to do, but at least you knew where you stood with Zuko, you still had no idea where you stood with Sokka. And that was an important thing to know when you were trapped in a cave with no way out.
Aang trusted you because you helped him escape from Zuko and Katara trusted you because of everything that happened at the North. But you still weren’t sure about Sokka, the two of you had had a few conversations but it wasn’t near the level of openness your conversations with Katara had been.
“I can’t listen to anymore music.” He said in a hushed voice to you, and it took everything in you not to roll your eyes at him. You couldn’t help but think of how the comment was something Zuko would have said, except he would have said it loudly for them to hear while Sokka tried to at least spare their feelings.
“It’s not too bad.” You said back to him with a shrug, he stopped and looked at you for a moment in disbelief.
“You were a ‘bad guy’ you shouldn’t be this optimistic.” He said, using air quotes when he called you the bad guy, as if to not offend you.
“A wise man once said that the way you approach a situation has a greater impact on the outcome than how you deal with the situation.” You said, a smile coming to your face as you thought about the number of times you had heard Iroh say those exact words to Zuko. “So, I like to try to have an optimistic approach to things.”
“You really think we can get out of here?” He asked, and when you nodded he let out a small sigh. “Okay, then I guess we should get moving.”
You gave him a smile as you started to walk behind him, trying not to crowd him as he looked over the map. It wasn’t long before you heard music and it once again took everything in you not to roll your eyes at Sokka when you seen the annoyance on his face from the situation. You knew it wasn’t the most ideal, situation but you honestly didn’t think that it could truly be that bad until you once again came to a dead end.
“Oh great, your plans have led us to another dead-end.” Moku said as he gestured to the wall of the cave that now sat in front of you.
“At least I’m thinking of ideas and trying to get us out of here Moku.” Sokka said as he turned around and glared at him and everyone else except you.
“Wait a minute?” You heard Chong say, causing everyone to look over at him. “We’re thinking of ideas? Because I’ve had an idea for about an hour now.”
“Yes! We’re all thinking of ideas.” Sokka said in a loud, and openly annoyed tone, as he moved his arms around the air.
“What’s your idea?” You asked, causing Sokka’s mouth to drop as he looked over at you in disbelief. You just gave him a shrug as you crossed your arms and looked back over at Chong.
“Well listen to this, if love is the key out of here, then all we need to do is play a love song.” Chong said, and you immediately looked over at Sokka to see him hit his forehead with the palm of his hand, hard enough for you to hear the contact. Chong started to play a song and as he started to walk, everyone followed him.
“I give up.” Sokka said as he shrugged and walked in the direction they were heading, you stood there in disbelief for a moment before jogging to catch up with him.  
“So, do you believe love is really the key to getting out of here?” Sokka asked after a while of walking, and you looked over to see that he was already looking at you.
“I don’t even know if I believe in love.” You said as you let out a sigh and looked down at your hands.  
“Well since your boyfriend is an angry boy with a pony tail, I don’t blame you.” Sokka said in a joking tone, and you just shook your head as you kept your eyes on your hands.
“He isn’t my boyfriend, never was.” You said and when Sokka let out a scoff you looked away from your hands and to him to see disbelief clear on his face. “It’s complicated.”
“Well it must be complicated for you to have feelings for someone like him.” He said, and you just let out a sigh as you crossed your arms tightly over your chest.
“He wasn’t always like that, he used to different. But life was never kind to him, so I guess he just decided that he wouldn’t be kind either.” Once the words left your mouth and you seen the look on Sokka’s face you knew he was about to argue with you, so you were quick to cut him off. “I know you think he is a horrible person and I know you probably think I am a horrible person too for staying on his side for so long. But he was all I had and now that I’ve chose this side to fight on, I don’t have anyone.” “That isn’t true.” He said, and you felt yourself tearing up as you seen the comforting look on his face. “You have us now. Me, Katara, and Aang are your family now.”
You remembered the hopefulness you felt when he told you that you were family in the Cave of the two lovers, but you didn’t realize how truthful the statement was until now. He was right, they were your family and they weren’t going to leave you. So instead of continuing to mourn over everything you had lost, you decided it was time to cherish everything you still had.
“Can we go see everyone else?” You asked as you looked away from the water and over to Sokka, watching as a smile came to his face.
“Yeah, we can.” He said as he stood up from the sand, brushing it off of his legs before helping you up. As you stood up you could see two figures standing by the edge of the makeshift base, and you instantly recognized them.
“It’s about time.” Toph said as you and Sokka reached her.
“Toph be nice.” Katara said in her signature mom tone, which caused a smile to come to your face as you pulled the two of them into a hug, Sokka joining in. You all stood there hugging one another until Toph started to complain about how Sokka was pulling her hair, and when you all pulled away you couldn’t help but smile at them, at your family.
@tpwkatsumu @caswinchester2000 @frickin-bats @winchestergirl907 @eridanuswave @the-firebender-girl @myarthetics @royahllty @izzieserra @akariblue  @coldlilheart @thirstyforsometea @cirtruss @lammello @bigbuckyenergy @aangsupremacy @lozzybowe @duh-dobrik @emogril @justab-eautifulmess @whalerus @im-me-and-noone-else @nataliahaslosthershit @oddment-niwit-blubber-tweak @slytherky @shemakesfanvids @sokkas-honour @nomin-rights  @miraculous23456
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sparklingchan · 5 years ago
Text
The Prince and I || Jeong Yunho(Ateez)
Pairing : Reader (fem.) x Yunho.
Word count : 9.2k+
Warnings : Cuss words, minor injuries, Yunho BEING A FLUFFBALL!!
Genre : Fluff, angst, Arranged marriage au, Royal au.
Description : Your marriage to Prince Yunho feels like nothing less than a fairytale - but a fairytale is incomplete without a villain, right?
A/N:  This fic took longer than I thought it would lol  
This is a part of the holiday treats event conducted by kafenetwork.          This fic is for the lovely Anna! I hope you like it and I hope it didn’t disappoint. I’m sorry I cannot tag you here because this site always decides to eat up my posts with tags in it :((
Enjoy!
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"This wedding dress is a little expensive, granny."
The silky cloth slips away from in between your fingers, as quick as sand. You hadn't ever touched a piece of cloth as beautiful and smooth as this one, really. In fact, you'd never ever seen anything like the dress presented before you at the moment. And well, as much as you want to buy it, you knew you couldn't. Not unless you use up all your life's savings.
"I'm sure Ms. Claire here could find us something less...royal." you mutter again when your Grandmother doesn't respond.
Ms. Claire, the owner of the elegant boutique you find yourself standing in this morning, smiles at you sheepishly. "Oh, what nonsense! You will be married into a royal family, y/n. I cannot have you wear a normal wedding dress."
You sigh, turning away from the mannequin that donnes your dream wedding dress and crouching down to speak to your granny, "Granny, we won't have any money left if we buy this."
Your grandmother has been in the wheel chair for as long as you could remember. But she has more energy and life in her than most young people out there, including you. She's like this ball of sunshine who adores you to death. And now that the most important event of your life is slowly coming close with every passing day, you find her enthusiasm increasing likewise. She would wake up every morning and coax you to work out and do your skin care routine every night before bed. Today too, she forced you to allow her to tag along on your last shopping trip before your big day. Though you never say it out loud, your grandmother is nothing short of an angle. And you'd do anything to make her happy.
"I have saved up enough money to buy three such dresses, y/n." Your grandmother says as you lean down , "Miss Claire, pack this one up please."
Miss Claire nods and smiles at your granny, "Surely, madam."
Her assistant takes away the mannequin to get it packed up and billed.
You sit on the small couch present in the room as your eyes roam around the room full of pretty dresses and veils and shoes. It feels surreal all of a sudden, as if you were in a day dream you'd often think about as a teenager.
"What? Do you want anything else? I have enough money for that too." Your grandmother chimes in, rolling the wheelchair a little towards you, "Should we buy one for your mom too?"
Your mom, though equally excited for your wedding as your grandmother, was more on the realistic side. She'd give you a reality check ever so often - about husbands and in-laws and everything surrounding it. You're also not very sure your mom would appreciate spending so much money on dresses in a single day, especially when your wedding stands only four days away.
"No, granny, mom has enough dresses." You run a soothing hand through her grey and thin hair, "Aren't you tired? We've been out for a long time now."
"Do I look tired to you? " she raises an eyebrow, her eyes wrinkling up as she smiles at you sweetly. She's such an adorable little woman that it makes your heart melt everytime she looks at you.
"No," you roll your eyes, "Guess we can go and pick up Maya's dress while we're at it."
"Maya as in your best friend? The annoyingly loud girl from your college?" You snort at your granny's choice of words to describe your best friend.
You hear Miss Claire call you towards the payment counter and before you could move a finger, your granny races you to it.
"Come on, girl, what are you- eighty?" She teases you with a loud chuckle.
And still, you may not say it out loud , but your granny is your whole world. And when you are married off into the royal family of your father's old hometown, the only person you'll miss badly is probably your sweet old grandmother.
Later that evening, after dropping your grandma back home, you decide to walk to your best friend's apartment which is located just a few blocks away from yours. You carry her dress with you but deep down, you know that's not the only reason as to why you wanted to visit her this late at night.
"I need advice. "
"About what?"
"Marriage and life. "
Your best friend's eyes widen at your words. Her lips part as if she wanted to comment something but then stopped herself. "Maya, dude please. I'm terribly scared and I can't talk to anyone else at home." You admit, playing with the hem of your dress. A sudden sense of embarrassment and shyness washes over you but you push all that away before they get the best of you.
Maya puts down her dress on the bed.
"Y/n, I could give you all the advice in the world but believe me, you won't be able to apply it practically. I married a normal man from a normal family. We live in a cozy apartment in a city. But for you, it's different. You'll not marry a common person- you're marrying a prince for God's sake. A Crown Prince on top of that. You'll be living in a castle far away in the mountains. I don't know how my advice would be of any help here, y/n." Maya says, her hand gently patting yours.
You shift in your place, the bed creaking softly beneath you.
Maya is unarguably right - her advice won't be useful in your case. In fact, no one's advice would be useful to you unless they've had a first hand experience with an arranged marriage and a royal life. Yet these facts do little to comfort your growing fear and anxiousness.
"I haven't even met him in person yet. I only saw him over a few stupid video calls and in his pictures. I don't know what to expect." You say.
His Highness Crown Prince Yunho is a pretty busy man it turns out. So busy that he hasn't even been able to take some time out of his duties and come visit his fiancé for a few hours. He's a beautiful man, you have to say. Elegant and stylish and well mannered and everything about him screams Royal. He often texts you in his free time and calls you once in a blue moon. He seems like a nice man indeed, the kind you'd love to marry even without his royal heritage. But being his wife and a Crown Princess is a challenge you'd have to face completely on your own.
"Your granny thinks he's a good man, y/n. Maybe you should trust her judgement. Old people have that in themselves, you know." Maya says with a small smile, "Plus he's a Prince. You'll live a luxurious life, y/n. Don't be so pessimistic! I'm sure things will turn out great."
You give your best friend a tight hug for trying to cheer you up and helping you forget your fears even if it's just for a few hours . That night, as you toss and turn in your bed, trying to keep your mind free from thoughts about your life after marriage, you realise how big of a change this one thing will make.
And you're not very sure if you're ready for that change yet.
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
The weather is quite pleasant today, the sun shining softly through the thin curtain of clouds and the humidity deciding to be a little forgiving today but too bad you're stuck inside your room, folding clothes and making sure all your necessities are packed in the luggage.
"Well, this is not how I expected my last day at home to turn out, " you complain to your mother who sits across from you on the bed, helping you pack your things, "But it is what it is, I guess."
Your mom chuckles, placing your folded clothes into huge black suitcase spread open on the floor. "This isn't bad. You're alone with your family and friend, what more do you need?"
A fancy Bachelorette party with your friends and a few male strippers didn't sound like a very appropriate response so you decide to just shake your head.
"Aren't you angry though? Even just a little bit?" She asks. You scowl at the unexpected, out of context question. You are scared and anxious and nervous but angry? Not at all.
"What do you mean? Why would I be angry?" You reply, crossing your arms in front of your chest, "I'm fine."
She sighs, momentarily pausing her actions to face you. Her eyes are a little moist, you notice, and her lips pressed into a sad line. "Your grandmother betrothed you to Prince Yunho when you guys were just nineteen. It is an arranged marriage, to a person you don't know and a family which holds so much power. She didn't give you freedom to choose your own partner. Aren't you angry about that?" She elaborates.
You feel a soft tug in your heart at her words. You've been so preoccupied with worrying about how you'd handle yourself after marriage that you never really thought about this. Even so, when you really think about it, you can't find it in yourself to be angry at your grandmother.
"Granny and Prince Yunho's grandmother were best friends, mom. They made a promise and I respect that. Plus granny never forced me to say yes. I did that on my own account. " you explain yourself, your hand slowly reaching over to squeeze your mom's shoulder, "Don't worry about me. I'll manage. I always do."
Its rather funny how you were the one needing assurance from Maya a few nights ago and here you are, repeating the same words of encouragement to your mother. A part of you is obviously still terrified of the future, but that's not your mom's problem to deal with. It's entirely yours.
Your mom sniffs, but a tear manages to roll down her cheek, "I'll miss having you around. Why couldn't she have arranged your marriage to a normal person who lived in the same city?"
And then it finally dawns on you. It really is your last day at home. Your last day in the city you so dearly loved, your last day in the house which has seen you grow from a little baby to a beautiful, young woman. It's your last day as y/n y/l/n, your parents' only child and your grandmother's favorite grandchild. Tomorrow, you would be a Princess, a wife, a person of political importance. And your heart breaks a little at the thought of never getting this life back again.
"Mom.." you mutter, your eyes tearing up as well. Words fall short when it comes to describing how much you'll miss everyone and everything here. Starting from your friends to your family to the smallest of decorative items in your room that you've managed to collect over the years. It's like a piece of you would just cease to exist. As the night grows darker and the day crosses over to the next one, you hold your mother close as the both of you let out the quietest of sobs and realise that this might be the last time she'd have you all to herself.
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡   
The journey from your parents' old house to Prince Yunho's ancestral palace is short - not with respect to time but with respect to the fact that amidst tearful eyes and memory flashbacks, the car ride gives you little to no time to settle your hurricane of thoughts.
As your dad's car slowly pulls over in front of a huge black metal gate, you are welcomed with a view that seems right out of a fairytale. The Royal palace is located in the most beautiful locations you've ever been to, a place you never thought could exist in real life. It almost feels like you are in a dream. With the beautiful backdrop of lush green mountains in the back, the Palace stands tall on the foothills of the mountains. The pastel pink walls and the carefully carved window panes look ethereal with contrast to the tall black gates that securely surround the palace. A group of servants are rowed in front of the man main entrance, with warm smiles and trays full of welcome drinks.
But you're far too mesmerized by the place to bother consuming anything at the moment.
This place - this breathtakingly gorgeous palace with the biggest gardens and tallest fountains- would be your home. For a long time, home meant your crammed little apartment which always smelt like cinnamon and bread. It had no big gardens, no servants, no fountains but it was your home. Your safe place. You wonder if this place could ever feel like home.
"Geez, y/n, I'm so jealous." Maya whisper-squeals in your ear as the servants lead you inside, "Do you want to exchange husbands?"
You nudge her gently with your elbow, "Shut up. Or I'll have you thrown out."
You are made to walk through a quiet hallway that has a huge wooden door at the end. On both sides of the hallway, pictures and paintings and vintage weapons are displayed like in museums and the marble floor beneath you shines like water under the sun. Every nook and corner of this place is a treasure waiting to be discovered, you realise.
The servants open the wooden door and lead you inside into what appears to look like a Throne Room. Now, you'd never really been to one before but movies and books have taught you that this is what a Throne room probably looks like - with a Grand Throne placed at the very center and numerous chairs placed on either side of it. The walls in this room are graced with more pictures and paintings of kings and queens and common people and soldiers. You wonder if your picture would ever be up there somewhere in the future.
"Oh, hello lovely people!" A manly voice booms through the hall, "I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long."
A few quick taps of feet on the floor and there stands in front of you a very familiar face - as if you'd almost seen him in a dream.
Black tuxedo, perfectly styled hair, a walkie-talkie in his hand, the man before you looks right out of a James Bond movie. "I'm Choi San, Prince Yunho's personal secretary and the royal family's representative for the day."
He claps his hands together, "Her Highness the Queen Regent, Her Highness the Queen Mother and His Highness Crown Prince Yunho sadly couldn't be here since they have some important charity event to attend. I deeply apologize for that. In their place, allow me to welcome you to the Jeong family's Grand palace!"
"You'll all be taken to your rooms now because you must be tired from the journey. If you need anything, just tell one of these servants."
The servants nod at San and signal you and your family to follow them.
"Uh, lady Y/n. Mind if I have a word with you?" San interrupts.
Although surprised, you nod as you let your family walk off to their rooms.
"Yes?" You ask San.
San's eyes are focused on your frame - every movement, every expression, every word - he's observing you as if to make sure you're the right person for Prince Yunho. You feel self conscious all of a sudden.
"Yunho did say you're a charming person. I just didn't think I'd agree with him before, but now..I definitely do." San giggles, offering you his hand, "I'm Choi San at your service, madam. Your wish is my command."
You bow gently at him, "I'm y/n y/l/n. It's nice to meet you too, sir."
San chuckles, "Please don't call me that, your Highness. I'm your employee. Besides I have something important to talk to you about. "
The last few words form a tight knot in your stomach, fear finding it's way through your veins.
"Y-yeah?"
"You have a coronation ceremony tonight. I hope you know that. We've already hired a stylist who will take care of all you from now on. She'll meet you immediately after lunch." San explains, "And here's my business card. Contact me if anything comes up, okay?"
You gulp as you accept the shining business card from him, "Thanks. I'll do that."
San smiles sympathetically, as if he understood the fears swimming inside you. He offers you a gentle, encouraging pat on the shoulder.
"I know how you feel. A palace is a scary place, I won't deny. But if I can survive here, so can you. Plus you have Yunho. He's the nicest man a person could ever ask for, I'm sure." San says.
Your whole body relaxes a little as a soft breeze of comfort washes over you with the words leaving San's mouth. This is what you'd been wanting to hear for a long time - a reassurance that you'll be safe and okay as a member of the Royal family and that Prince Yunho might be a person you could love. But for now, you focus on keeping your self calm.
"Now, do you mind walking me to my room? I find myself a bit lost." You giggle.
San finds himself chuckling in response, "Of course, your majesty."
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
When San had told you that you'd have your own personal stylist, you did not expect this . Even in your wildest dreams, this is not something you'd catch yourself wanting.
The beautiful blue gown clutches to your upper body at just the right places and then flows down your waist like a beautiful waterfall under the sunlight. A diamond necklace graces your otherwise empty neck complimented with matching earrings. The stylist - Alisa - puts your hair up in a pretty bun and then places a beautiful diamond tiara on your head. And when your eyes finally land on your reflection in the mirror, your mouth hangs open with no words but just air slipping out of it as response.
"Do you like it, your Highness?" Alisa asks with hopeful eyes. Her shy smile giving away the fact that she wants you to like what she's done, her efforts and ideas.
You have to blink hard for a few more seconds before coming to terms with the fact that you look so beautiful right now. A part you is in denial while a part of you is jumping around, doing a victory dance in happiness. You weren't used to seeing yourself look this good. Your heart leaps at the thought of Prince Yunho seeing you like this - almost like a princess who's lived in castles all her life. And then you realize that you would be one ; in only a few minutes.
"I love it, Alisa. You're brilliant!" You exclaim, wrapping your arms tightly around the stylist in happiness. By Lisa's stiff response, you are sure you'd taken her by surprise. Royals do not go around hugging normal stylists yet this hug was a symbol of your thankfulness towards her for putting so much effort into you, to make you feel special. Alisa's proud smile reaches to her eyes as she quickly works on placing the brooch pin in the right place on your dress.
A knock on your room's door attracts your attention and you are quick to fix yourself in case it was someone from the Royal family.
"I'll get that." Alisa jogs quickly towards the door.
When the door creaks opens, you see a familiar face standing there - familiar enough to know it was your fiancé, the most handsome man you'd ever laid eyes on, with the kindest smile and brightest eyes. Your heart stops beating for a dangerous second.
"Oh, hello your Highness. " Alisa greets him, bowing slightly, "Miss y/n is ready to go."
And when Yunho looks at you, your soul as if escapes your body. "H-hi, Prince Yunho."
He walks towards you with warm, red cheeks and perfect black hair and a stylish black tuxedo and offers you his hand, "It's nice to finally meet you, my lady."
How does one ever respond to that? How does one ever behave in front of an actual, real life prince, who also happens to be your fiancé? He presses his lips to your fingers ever so gently.
The butterflies in your stomach go wild.
"Shall we go now? Everyone's waiting for you, my lady." He asks.
You nod, wrapping an arm around his, "Yes."
The short walk towards the throne room is mostly filled with a comfortable sense of silence, except for the times when Prince Yunho points at some random picture on the wall and talks about it. Your eyes seem to be following every movement of his, and everytime your eyes meet, you find yourself melting under his gaze. You are smitten by him and there's no denying in that.
On entering the throne room, all heads turn towards you - ministers, relatives, your family, Yunho's friends, San and all servants present there observe you as Yunho walks you down the flowery aisle leading to the Throne. You could feel everyone's eyes on you, scary yet exciting, they follow your every movement and every word and every expression.
And when they bow down slightly as you stand on the right side on the Throne, you realise these people weren't just bowing at Yunho, there were also bowing down at you. Because you'll be his wife tomorrow, a princess, a figure that should be loved by the people. The only thing keeping you grounded is Yunho's gentle hand softly clutching yours. It's as if he could sense your inner turmoil before even you do it yourself. "Are you nervous?" He whispers in your ear.
"Yes, a little. "
"Don't be. I'm here with you."
The main door to the hall opens and two women walk inside, at least ten soldiers walking in front and behind them, guns at ready and eyes critically scanning all the faces.
The older woman, who you assume to be the Queen Mother and Yunho's grandmother, wears a sweet smile and walks as gracefully as ever even in this senile age. She waves gleefully at the crowd bowing down to her. On her left stands a slightly younger woman, Yunho's aunt and the Queen Regent who has been the ruler of this kingdom after Yunho's parents passed away in a tragic accident ten years ago. Rumor has it that the Queen Regent is a strict, emotionless ruler who has no mercy for criminals and is harsh with all the employees of the palace. You notice her serious gaze fixed in your direction and shudder in fear even though you've barely ever talked to her before.
"May the Queen Mother live long! May the Queen Regent live long!" Someone chants and the others follow suit in the blink of an eye.
You suddenly feel as if you are in some period drama.
The Queen Regent takes her place on the throne while the Queen Mother takes a seat on the left side of the Throne. A single wave of the Queen Regent's hand and the crowd goes completely silent.
"Hello to everyone gathered here today. I am very, very glad to welcome a new member of the family - lady y/n y/l/n. She is to be the wife of my beloved nephew Yunho and the future Queen of this kingdom. Please give her a warm welcome!"
The hall erupts into claps and cheers and your name being repeated as if in a chant. Your grip on Yunho's arm tightens.
"I'm there, my lady." He says again, "Don't be afraid."
San brings out a huge sword and places it in the Queen Regent's hands. This sword is what you assume to be the Jeong family's old, sacred sword used by generations and generations of brave kings and queens to protect themselves as well as the citizens of their beloved country. This sword is a symbol of pride and victories. And a lost history.
"As per ancient traditions, I will now be crowning miss y/n as a princess before her wedding with the prince tomorrow. From now on she will be called her Highness Crown princess Y/n. She is an important member of our family from this day forth."
"Y/n, go on and kneel in front of my aunt." Yunho whispers, nodding at you with a proud smile, "You're doing so great already."
You comply by his words and kneel in front of the throne, your head hanging low and eyes squeezed shut with anxiousness of what is to come.
"Welcome to the family, y/n." You hear the Queen Regent's voice before she gently taps your right shoulder with the tip of the sword and then the left one. You feel a few droplets of water being sprinkled on your face.
"Rise, Crown Princess. Face your people and let them welcome you with open arms."
It is done. You are a princess now. This can never be undone, this name, this title will stick with you till the end of time. You're no longer a normal girl with small dreams and basic requirements, you're a future Queen now.
Rise, Crown Princess.
And you do.
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
Every person has dreamt about their own wedding at least once in their life - whether it is in the peak of their teenage or in the innocent wonders of their childhood or the wildest dreams of their adult years, this thought found itself in everyone's mind.
You had one such dream too.
But your dream had always been very simple. A nice man, your closest friends and family, a cheap and beautiful wedding dress, a small party with limited people - that is all you've ever wanted. You didn't want a gathering of four hundred people who you barely knew, the new reporters shoving their cameras into your face, heavy make up or expensive jewelry, or a husband who you barely knew. But guess that is what the Gods had written in your fate. And you have no option now than to accept things the way they are.
You don't remember much from the wedding ceremony or the huge party that follows, really ; you only remember Yunho's lips pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead when the priest asks the groom to kiss the bride(probably the best part of the day), your grandmother's tears of happiness and Alisa and San winking at the two of you after the ceremony was over. Everything else felt like a blur, as if your head had been underwater all this while.
An hour or so into the party, Prince Yunho asks you to walk with him. Alone. Though reluctant, how could you ever say no to those innocent eyes? The discomfort from being surrounded by hundreds of unknown people slowly disappears as the two of you walk around the garden, your eyes never meeting but a sense of familiarity settling between the two of you.
"I'm not used to this, you know." He says with a shy smile.
The sky is beautiful, decorated with stars and a full moon but nothing compares the glow on Yunho's face when he turns to glance at you.
"Used to what?" You enquire, "Having so many people here?"
He shakes his head, "No. I'm used to having a lot of people here. That's all I've ever seen. What I'm not used to is this. Having a partner or someone else live in my room with me."
"So...?"
"I'm happy about it. I really am. But I know you're new to this royal lifestyle and we barely even know each other that well but I hope you don't regret this marriage. Because I'm sure that I won't. " Yunho sighs, "And if you ever feel like it's not worth your time anymore, you are more than free to leave. Forget about everyone else, do what your heart says. "
The last phrase catches you off guard. It is very, very rare to find people who give you this sort of freedom in any arrangement. The fact that he opens up his thoughts to you makes your heart leap with happiness. And a little sadness too that he'd think you'd leave him so easily.
"Hey," you pat his arm, "I'm not leaving anytime soon. I promise. We made a vow, didn't we?"
Yunho blushes at your words, but under the bright moonlight it goes unnoticed by you.
"Do you mind if I hold your hand?" He suggests after a few seconds of silence.
The butterflies in your stomach are seemingly having the time of their life these past few days.
"I don't." You slide your hand into his and your fingers intertwine almost instantly. His warm palm presses against your cold one, bring a sense of comfort you never thought you'd ever experience. In the midst of a chaotic royal gathering and the paparazzi trying to sneak in through the gates, you and Yunho find a small world for yourselves that no one else can ever have access to.
And for the first time in months, you realise that this marriage might be worth more than what you thought it would be.
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
You've always wondered what the people in royal palaces do. Do they spend all their time greeting the citizens and walking in the gardens? Do they keep dancing in the ballroom all the time? Or do they busy themselves with war conspiracies?
Sadly you realise that royal life sounds very exciting and extravagant only when you're not the one actually living a life like that. And this conclusion dawns on you only after ten days of the wedding.
The first week is packed with activities, alright. Visiting the common people and distant relatives and going to various public events. Your curiosity was at its peak till a few days ago, but now here you are, sitting on the edge of your soft bed, phone in lap and eyes drooping with sleepiness, wondering how to keep yourself occupied.
"Y/n?" The door creaks open as Yunho peeks inside shyly, "Can I come in?"
You nod, "It's your room, Yunho. You don't need my permission to enter."
"Oh, I was just making sure you weren't doing anything you didn't want me to see."
Oh. Your cheeks turn into crimson fruits as his words finally hit you.
"Anyway, I actually came to get my file. But I saw you sitting here. Are you bored?"
Are you? Heck, yes!
"Yes." You reply almost guiltily.
Chuckling, he leans down to press a loving kiss on top of your head, "Come on. I'll show you something."
You took pride in the fact that after only a week of staying here, you knew the palace fairly well. The corridors and paintings and artifacts and the workers weren't as foreign to you anymore. Yet the path Yunho takes you to seems weirdly unfamiliar.
Guess new surprises await everyday.
Soon enough, your steps halt in front of a huge wooden door labeled as ' library '.
Rows and rows of books welcome you the moment you step inside, Yunho leading the way into the most beautiful library you'd ever seen in your life. As always, paintings grace the wooden walls and a huge crystal chandelier hangs from the middle most point of the ceiling.
"Yunho...is this..what heaven looks like?"
The smell of old and new books hit your nostrils as you run a gentle hand over the book kept in the shelves, feeling the various materials of book covers brush past your fingertips.
"Maybe." Yunho responds with a grin.
Yunho's heart feels full with adoration and content at the sight of you dancing around the books shelves, gleefully taking notes of the books you plan to read on the days to come. Your eyes curl up into crescent moons as your toothy smile seems to have taken Yunho's breath away. Beautiful is what you look. Simple and elegant and so innocent.
All his life he's spent among royal people, people with political intentions and lots of money. But you make him feel differently. Being with you feels like a breath of fresh air for Yunho. And who wouldn't like that?
"Earth to Yunho." You click your fingers in front of his face after you catch him staring at you. Not that you didn't like it, but you had to do something before you turn into a mush before his eyes, "What are you thinking?"
"Oh, um..nothing." you. He was thinking about you, "How about I ask the workers to bring my office stuff over here? I can work here while you read. I don't want you to be alone."
A shameless grin plasters over your lips.
"I'd like that, Yunho. I'd like that very much. "
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
"How's the married life treating you?" Your granny asks you this question every damn time she decides to call you. 
And surprisingly somehow, you always answer positively to her query.
"Well, good. I think so at least. " you smile to yourself, remembering the soft kiss Yunho had placed on your head as he left for an official trip this morning. Even in your half asleep state, your cheeks had turned bright red, "Prince Yunho is a nice man. "
"Oh, of course he is! I wouldn't have asked you to marry him otherwise, you idiot." She yells at you although you know she's smiling through the phone, "Anyway, I can't talk for long today. I have a doctor's appointment so I'll need to dress up for that."
That comes as a surprise, "What? Are you sick ?"
"God, no. I'm not a weakling, okay? It's the regular check up. Don't worry." She says, "Bye now. "
The line goes silent.
Sighing, you put your phone down on the night stand. On times like this, when the room is too quiet and you are too lazy to walk out and talk to other people, you start missing home. A lot more than usual. Your house, though only consisting of four people was way too noisy from sunset till sundown and somehow, you'd gotten used to it. The quietness has yet to grow on you.
A slight knock on the door attracts your attention and you immediately allow whoever it is to come inside.
"Oh, Alisa. It's you!" You exclaim as relief washes over you on seeing a familiar face.
"Yes, your Highness. How have you been?" She bows down to you, "Are you able to adjust to this new life?"
"I've been okay, you could say. Still a little overwhelmed whenever I have to face people but I think I'm getting there." You laugh a little.
Alisa gives you an understanding nod, "I totally understand. But I'm glad you're feeling more comfortable. By the way, I came here to ask you if you wanted to visit my boutique in the town nearby. It's a new one and I wanted you to come see it before the inauguration. "
Your heart jumps at the offer. You remember back in your college days, you would often go shopping with Maya, especially on weekends. The two of you would wait for months for a sale or special offers because online shopping sometimes just doesn't do it for you. You smile, nostalgic, "I'd love to go."
"And then maybe we could go and eat in the pizzeria nearby. It serves the best pizza in the world, I swear."
This is just beyond tempting at this point, a literal trap to have you step out of the role of a royal Princess and embracing the careless city girl inside of you and who are you to keep her hidden for too long?
"What are we waiting for then?"
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
Yunho surprises you every now and then.
On the outside, he is a strict man with the sharpest of brains and the most observant eyes. The title of being a crown prince sits heavy on his shoulders and with every passing day, the weight just get heavier.
On the contrary, the Yunho you get to see everyday is very different. Soft and cheerful and smiley, he's the literal embodiment of the sunshine and your heart doesn't seem to rest everytime you see him.
It must have been roughly a month since the wedding when he makes an impromptu plan of visiting your city and your parents' house since it had been a long time you last saw them.
"Heard you were going to your parents house?" You had gotten ready to go before Yunho did, so instead of sitting in your bedroom, you decided take a short walk outside in the gardens. And as you strolled around aimlessly among the flowers and bushes, deep in thoughts, you had come across the Queen Mother sitting by the water fountain.
"Yes, your majesty." You reply, rather intimated by her aura.
It's hard to accept sometimes that this person is best friends with your grandmother, when the both of them are as different from each other as the two poles! Your grandmother is the ever so sweet, smiling, supportive person. You would never see her angry or upset. But on the other hand, the Queen Mother is uptight, very quiet and rarely ever smiles. Just like her daughter, the Queen Regent. Maybe it's a royal thing but you're glad you don't have to see this serious side of Yunho on a daily basis.
"Good. The farther from here, the better." She mumbles.
You are alarmed at her words, "I'm sorry?"
She sighs, her walking sticking tapping the marble wall of the fountain, "Y/n, I adore you. I might not show it but I'm glad my grandson has someone like you to make his life less lonely. But you have to be careful. Not everyone is appreciative of a person of common birth being crowned as a Crown Princess. "
Fear slowly clutches you in its palms. You had gotten very occupied with Yunho and being a crown princess and making new friends, you admit. So occupied that you let your guard down. And the Queen Mother's words sound more like an advice than a threat.
"Should I be worried?" You ask, your skin going cold at the thought of someone actually wanting to hurt you.
"Not yet, no. But be very, very careful. You cannot trust anyone here. Not even me. The only person you can lean on is Yunho. Why? Because he might be as much in danger as you."
Have you ever seen how people start panicking when any sort of alarm goes off? Yeah, thats exactly how you feel at that moment.
"Y/n, let's go!" You hear Yunho call you from the front gate, already taking his seat inside his car.
You bow at the Queen Mother before jogging towards Yunho, your heart no longer into the trip as it were a few minutes ago.
Yet seeing your parents and granny after so long did comfort you.
They had prepared this small barbeque party in your backyard, your dad playing guitar and purposely singing badly to embarrass you while your mother shows Yunho your childhood pictures. And the food, oh, the food! The five star chefs from Yunho's palace could never replace this comfort food you had at your parents house. It might not be well decorated with garnishes or spices or fancy plates but it made you feel like everything will eventually be okay - which is exactly what you needed at the moment.
The entire evening you try hard to talk to Yunho but when your house is full of three excited adults, it is hard to do that. Around one am in the morning, you finally find yourself in your old bedroom, Yunho's fascinated eyes roaming around the room that feels like it were straight out of some teenage romance movie. Where in reality you'd honestly been too lazy to change the room's layout once you outgrew your teenage obsessions and interests.
"You seem to be liking my room a little too much. " you chuckle, scrolling aimlessly through your phone, your face partly squished into your favorite pillow.
The boyband posters, old polaroids from your school functions, romance novels stacked up neatly by the nightstand - all of this is as foreign to him as his palace is to you.
Yunho lies down beside you, still in awe of the room, "Yeah, it literally mirrors your personality. "
"How?"
"I can't explain it, you know," he clicks his tongue, "But everything in this room screams y/n. Like everything here is made only for you."
You raise your eyebrow at his words. He's very observant, that you've noticed, but the fact that he knows you this well in barely a month warms your heart.
"What about our bedroom in the palace? Is it not made for me?"
"Oh, it is. Of course it is. But you're staying there because you have to, right? Because we're married and all that." He replies.
"No, I'm not. I told you Yunho - I'm staying there because I want to." You say, now no longer in a mood to joke around.
Suddenly, the words from The Queen Mother swim back into your mind, as you start seeing her words in a completely different light.
Yunho has somehow always expressed how he is unable to believe your presence around him and how he acts like you're doing a favor by doing that. And you find yourself wondering if Yunho knows what she'd said to you. The danger that looms above both of your heads must not be as much of a secret to him than you thought it would be. So instead of confronting him, you decide to comfort him.
"We'll be fine, Yunho. " you drag your hand towards his, your body relaxing the moment he squeezes it back, "Both of us."
Yunho looks at you with love and desire clear in his eyes, his free hand slowly dragging towards your face. You could see it now- the loneliness from the loss of his parents and the negligence from his aunt and grandmother throughout his childhood still very much exists behind the mask of a happy prince. You do not know the language of royal people or politics but you do know the language of love and more than a stupid gold crown, he needs someone to love him. And thats exactly what you intend to do.
Was it too soon? You didn't care anymore. And you know for a fact that he didn't either.
You lean in close and press your forehead to his, "You're not alone anymore. Okay?"
You see him smile from your hooded gaze, your breath mixing with his in an intoxicating mixture. "Thank you, y/n. You have no idea how much I appreciate it."
And that in itself are a combination of words much more heavier than a simple 'I like you.'
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
"The Queen Regent wishes to see you."
San runs up to you the first thing the next morning, right after breakfast.
"Why?" You ask, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
You had a plan to accompany your granny and the Queen Mother to their small tea party in a nearby Farmhouse but you couldn't obviously say no to meeting the Queen Regent. Because well, she's the Queen.
"I don't know, your Highness. I try to stay away from her as much as possible but whenever our paths do cross, she always assigns some work to me." He whines, "Go on, I'll tell the Queen Mother that you're occupied. I will be heading out with Yunho right now anyway."
Shaking your head in annoyance, you make your way to the Queen Regent's office.
Her office smells like expensive cigars the moment you step inside, and the full ashtray on her table only feeds into your conclusions.
"You asked for me, your majesty?" You ask in a low voice.
When she looks up from writing in her journal, your heart skips a few beats in fear. Her eyes hold no resemblance to Yunho's angelic ones or even The Queen Mother's serious ones. They look like two deep, bottomless black holes that swallow everything and anything in its vicinity. Her long hair is tied in a braid and her lips quiver passively upon seeing you.
"Ah, yes." She replies, "Please have a seat."
You take the chair in front of her desk, uncomfortable at the close proximity between you and the one person who everyone tries to avoid.
"How are you?" She begins, closing her journal and keeping her pen inside the drawer, "How are things going with Yunho?"
"I'm good, thank you for asking. And yes, things are going well with Yunho."
Her question seems odd, but you let it pass.
"Okay. That's really great to hear. Anyway, I met your husband a little while ago. And he asked me to tell you that he intends to see you on the rooftop alone later tonight." She raises an eyebrow, a gentle smile playing on her lips, "Looks like he has a date planned."
Her words seem too far fetched to be true. Too unrealistic. Not the date part though, but the part where he specifically ask her to pass on the message to you. He could have easily asked San or Lisa or even told you in first person, so why would he choose the Queen Regent out of so many people when he you've barely seen him talk to her?
But you're a Crown Princess, and she's the Queen and you cannot question her. "Okay, I'll be there." You get up from your seat and bowing gently, "Thank you for letting me know, your majesty. By the way, did he mention what time I am to go ?"
"Oh um...Around seven in the evening?" She's fumbling on her words, and you're sure she's lying about something.
Still you suppress your doubts and walk back to your room, hoping to find the truth behind her words this evening at seven.
The entire day goes by in the blink of an eye, but to you it feels like an eternity. The curiosity has you sitting at the edge of your bed, ready to make a run for it if any danger ever comes your way.
Yunho, who was out with San for some official work has surprisingly not texted you today at all. And it only adds to your doubts of the Queen Regent being a liar.
And when night finally falls, you find yourself tense up more than you'd done the entire day.
The night is quiet, calm but beautiful and as you step into the terrace and the soft wind kisses your face, you almost believe the Queen Regent's words. Maybe Yunho did really plan a surprise date for you. Because this is everything that Yunho likes. A beautiful night and a company he loves.
The terrace stands high giving you a beautiful view of the entire palace complex, the gardens and everything beyond. And for a moment, your worries diminish as you step near the railing, inhaling the fresh air and you feel safe.
But, you see, that's where you are wrong. This imaginary cloud of safety that you'd thought was around you was never there in the first place. Since the first time you stepped into the palace, all eyes have been on you - on every action, every activity, every word. You'd always been swimming in a dangerous sea. One wrong move, and you realise the shark is right behind you. And just how the Queen Mother had told you, you were only ever safe with Yunho by your side. But he isn't here anymore.
So it doesn't come as a when a pair of rough hands give you a single, harsh push, sending you falling right down five floors.
"You will never be our queen." Is what you hear before your vision dissolves into a black hole.
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
When you were six years old, you fell down your bike once while trying to copy some stupid stunt you'd seen people on television shows do. The excruciating pain that followed the fall was something which you thought you'd never have to experience again. That was the kind of pain which hurts you down to your very bones, sending waves of shock through your body with a single movement of your hands.
And that is exactly how you expect to feel the moment you open your eyes and come face to face with a familiar ceiling. But all you feel is sore, like how you feel the morning after exercising after a long while.
The bandages on your arms and abdomen indicate that your fall wasn't as bad as you thought it'd be but it was, nevertheless, a fall which was very much done on purpose.
"Y/n, honey, are you awake?" You hear Yunho's groggy voice coming from somewhere near the foot of the bed you lie on.
"Y-yeah. What happened?" You manage to sit up even though your body feels heavy with fatigue, "How did I fall?"
Yunho appears by your bed side in the blink of an eye and your heart clenches with relief when he bends down to kiss your head.
It feels like you hadn't seen him in days, years, where as it had only been around two days since you passed out. Yunho had rushed back home the moment he found out about it, leaving all his stupid official work for some other day. Hell, he would happily give up all his responsibilities if it means he could see you and keep you safe. He'd cried for nights and days, never leaving your side even when the nurses would change your clothes or bandage dressing. The mere thought of you never waking up again was too dark for him, especially when he'd found such a happy place in you. You are the owner of his heart and everything else that he could give you. You are, literally, his only family member. His whole world. And if he loses you, he would lose himself with you.
"A-are you okay?" He sits down on the bed, holding your hand so tight as if he was afraid you'd disappear if he let's go, "does it hurt anywhere?"
"Just a little bit, but I'm okay. I feel fine." You say, smiling through your busted lips.
Your smile as if breaks a wall he'd been holding onto for days, and his eyes immediately tear up.
"I'm so so sorry, y/n. I should have been there. I should have been protecting you. I keep forgetting I'm not a stupid guy with a normal life and that people I associate with might get into trouble anytime. I'm so sorry, I should have protected you from my Aunt and Alisa. I'm so fucking sorry."
Aunt? And Alisa? What is he taking about?
"Yunho, what are you -"
"They planned it. The entire thing. They purposely sent me and grandma away so no one would doubt them. Aunt had supposedly promised my hand in marriage to Alisa a long time ago but Grandma got us married instead. They were angry. So angry that they went ahead and tried to k-kill you. " he sobs into his hands, the tip of his nose turning bright red, "Alisa was the one who pushed you. They forgot to remove the CCTV footage."
You freeze for a second, Alisa's betrayal hurting you worse than The Queen Regent's. You almost thought you could find a friend in her, just like Maya. You trusted her. You felt safe around her when in reality, she'd only been a time bomb - waiting to blow up.
"Alisa did?" You mutter, your lips drying with fear, "I-I don't know what to say. Yunho, I- I can't believe Alisa would do this."
"I didn't either. But both of them have admitted to it. The police took them. I'm so sorry, y/n. " Yunho rubs his tears away, "I talked to your granny and parents. They said you could move back in with them. The divorce will take about a year or so to get finalized but you don't have to stay here till then. You can go back home whenever you want."
Your heart crushes in your chest. The fear of abandonment Yunho carries within himself yet he has the guts to let you go is something you would forever admire and hate in him. How could he think this way, especially after you've reassured him countless number of times that you're here to stay.
"I didn't agree to a divorce. What the fuck are you even cooking up in that mind of yours?" You say, stern and angry.
He looks up at you, his guilty eyes making the pain in your chest more painful.
"Y/n, please, you cannot stay with -"
"Shut up. Just shut up. I don't care. I don't care what you think. I am an adult and the crown princess of this kingdom and I will do as I please. " you almost yell, "I am staying here, with you, for better or worse. I told you I wouldn't leave. "
Yunho bursts into tears, wrapping his arms gently around you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck as you gently pat his back, reassuring him that you'd always stay. No matter what.
"Y-you might get hurt again, y/n. I don't want you to stay and get hurt again." But his tight hold on your body tells you otherwise.
"We're both in danger for the rest of our lives. Does that mean we stop living?" You whisper, pulling away from the embrace only to grab his chin, "Does that mean we stop loving?"
He shakes his head as his lips curve down and a shaky sob escapes his mouth, "Nothing will ever happen to you again, I swear. I will keep you safe. You will not have a reason to complain again."
You nod, dabbing his tears away with your thumb, "I know. I believe you. "
You stare into his eyes - his beautiful eyes made of the finest stardust that make your brain go hazy every morning that you wake up and find them right beside you. And that's exactly how you choose to wake up every morning till the end of your days.
"Is this the part where we kiss or what, because I've waited a long time -" he cuts your blabbering off by finally placing his plump, peachy lips on yours ever so tenderly.
He steals all the air from lungs, driving you breathless and crazy with every movement of his lips on yours and the gentle touch of his fingers on your face only adds to the unbounded euphoria you feel at the moment. He's beautiful. Even with your eyes closed, you know that he is beautiful. And not just with his face, he is a beautiful man inside out. He is yours and nothing in this world can ever change that. So when he pulls away, panting and out of breath, and gently kisses your forehead, you say, "I love you, my prince."
These words. These damn words that he'd waited for months to hear, nights he spent dreaming about hearing them. And he has to mentally slap himself to make himself believe this all to be true.
Stealing a quick kiss from your lips again, he whispers, "I love you, too, my princess. "
199 notes · View notes
chocosvt · 5 years ago
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⚬ pairing: mingyu x fem!reader | purge!au ⚬ word count: 15,728. ⚬ warnings: weapons, death, drugs, blood. ⚬ genres: ANGST, spicy/nsfw scenes, fluff to mend the heart, romance, action, and whatever else you could fathom lol.
✧✎ synopsis: the annual purge was a system of purification, alleviation, a supposedly psychological device in which people found a moment to unleash their indignation. you never purged until you met mingyu, a boy whose warmth was just as palpable as his darkness. you begin to fall for him, which means involvement with the evil he’s managed to attract.
✧✎ a/n: longer note at the end of the fic! sorry i’ve kept this in the vault for AGES bc i couldn’t figure out how to write in the ‘twist’ or whatever the fuck. you’ll know when you get there. anyways this is for @mihgyu (sorry it freakin took so long!) and @solgyus​ as they are my Resident Mingyu Stans. i also changed the title bc i thought... yknow... it fits better!
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You had always wondered what life was like for the previous generation, the generation who grew up without acquaintance to the annual purge. It was an alien concept if any concept at all, one so foreign and inexplicably bizarre that the cogs in your mind would start jamming against each other in a struggle of comprehension. The education system had groomed its pupils into believing it was the only plausible way to recover from an economic collapse, feeding into gullible and malleable minds the possibility of clearing rage through bloodshed.
When your parents disappeared at dawn, leaving nothing behind but the sound of a lock clicking shut and a note advising you to stay away from the windows and doors, it could be assumed they’d return at morning with crimson-stained clothing, crusted lacerations, and heavy weaponry sealed taunt to their hands; or maybe they wouldn’t return at all. Yet you were taught to believe that was okay. At least if you didn’t have your family, you had your friends. 
At least if you didn’t have your family, you had Mingyu. 
As much as you despised admitting to yourself, Mingyu meant to you what the moon meant to the tides, what the sun meant to the meadows. He kept you in perpetual motion, allowed you room to recuperate and blossom into a much stronger version of yourself after your father never came home. When he lost his job your family lost its momentum. The last you ever saw of the man was his backside as he slipped through the door frame, a chortling in the evening air, a black revolver clasped to his hand.
He seemed to disappear alongside your mother’s sanity. She isolated herself and pushed everyone away, even you, the only person capable of nurturing her. In school you’d learned that the purge was supposed to bring purification, it was responsible for cleansing humans of the everyday stresses that slowly crushed them flat. Purging allowed them happiness; a twelve hour capsule to unleash what the law prohibited three-hundred-sixty-four days a year.
Yet when you looked to your mother, you didn’t see any traces of happiness or fulfillment, just an empty shell that sat with sunken eyes in her rocking chair, mumbling to herself like a toddler. Before you even had time to find closure after your father’s disappearance, your mother suffered a similar fate, abducted through the windowsill by a maniac who sought vengeance for the crimes committed beneath your father’s hand. He was a stingy businessman who often scammed to make his money, therefore collecting a myriad of enemies.
Notably, you didn’t start purging until you met Mingyu. The first time you’d ever used a gun with malicious intent was when you ran into the man responsible for abducting your mother. The kick-back from the trigger had you stumbling across the watered asphalt, the silver slick rain that caved down from the clouds washing away the minuscule spatters of his blood that blew onto your face. As he slumped down against the red bricks, the animation draining slowly from his eyes, he spluttered,
“S-She’s dead, she payed for your father’s incompetence, his greed.”
In complete lifelessness you lowered the weapon, not realizing how close the  distant gunfire sounded until Mingyu had to drag you away by the wrist. He murmured his condolences to you when the air was tinged with less bloodshed, carefully nuzzling you into his chest when the reality of what you’d just done had come spiraling forth, leaving a slap so brutal across your face the burn seemed more realistic than the raindrops hitting your skin.
You felt disgusting, enclosed in a body that had been consumed by the purest form of hatred, and there was nothing you could do to evade the feeling of that ugly gun pressed into your hand. But within that same moment, hot tears pumping onto Mingyu’s shirt, you understood a certain satiation that tempted so many people to do what you had just done.
“We can’t stay here,” You felt the vibrations from his deep voice against your cheek, coolness stinging the heated flesh of your face when you lifted your head to meet his gentle eyes.
“Gotta keep moving, alright? It’ll be over soon, I promise.”
Mingyu’s composure was definitely an admirable trait. But then again, he’d been exposed to this environment long before you ever questioned purging. At that point you had felt completely numb, allowing him to wind you through the crevices and shadowy tunnels building the foundation of the city, your vision blurred by a mixture of salt and rain water. You felt safe with Mingyu, though it hadn’t always been like that. Before your friendship you were an outsider to the boy, harbouring nothing but a tiny crush toward him and his handsome face.
In fact the first time you’d ever spoken to Mingyu, it was after his fight with Wen Junhui, one of the most infamous, cynical purgers you prayed to never meet.
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Two Years Ago –
“I’ll kill you if you come near her again!”
“Is that supposed to scare me?!”
You’d never seen a fist fight in real life before, and you were positive that was a good thing. A large crowd steadfastly increased around two tall, venom-eyed boys caught up in their alcohol. They were spitting profanities, threats, and whatever else their clouded minds could formulate within the gap of the other’s speech. The party had been rather lackluster before that point anyways, so like the congregation swarming to the centre of the room, you etched into the crowd and managed to stand just inside the inner circle.
“Shit – sorry,” you squeaked as you were suddenly shoved into the girl beside you. Your face became hollow like a crater on the moon when you saw that it was Mingyu’s girlfriend.
“What am I supposed to do?” She mumbled whilst biting her nails, “I didn’t know how to stop it.”
“Stop the fight?”
She continued babbling, “Junhui kept coming on to me and Mingyu saw. They’re both competitive, boggle-brained idiots when they’re drunk. I don’t know what to do.”
Her name was Yang Yeeun, born and raised by parents maintaining such wealth that rumours began circulating their bloodstream was crushed rubies. You could see her pearl earrings flashing behind the straight black locks framing her small face. You don’t think she ever took them off. Her father manufactured security systems for the purge; however, the most recent release had been proven to bore many defects and flaws. She didn’t care, as long as she got a slice of the wealth.
In the beginning, Yeeun and Mingyu’s relationship came as a slap to the wrist. How could two people reaping such difference in personality become so close? Yeeun was frank and staid, with cold, cindered eyes that never displayed an eclipse of emotion. Her complexion was just as pale as the pearls she wore and her heart swam darkly.
Mingyu was her polar opposite. 
Sure he was intimidatingly tall, but any menace he constructed with his height was easily derailed through his bubbly nature. He was what you call, “a gentle giant,” and anyone who contacted him for more than a brief period understood this. The warmth was in his honey-brown gaze, the velvet of his tanned skin, the sepia tones that were shaggy in his hair. When he spoke you could feel the gravel roll beneath your feet, and when he said your name heat would flood your face like steam throughout a hot spring. 
Again, Mingyu and Yeeun made a bizarre couple, yet he loved her so deeply you swore the dark coverings in her heart had peeled back a little.
You kept in mind, a little.
“They’re fighting over you?” You questioned carefully, trying not to exaggerate your words so that it seemed utterly impossible for her to be worth fighting over.
“Yes,” Yeeun gritted, her eyes darting around the crowd, strangers pressing into the circle, allured by drunken shouting, “can’t they wait until purge before they start ripping into each other?”
Wouldn’t it be best if they didn’t rip into each other at all?
“Like you said, they’re drunk and stupid,” you opted for the latter choosing.
Mingyu’s mellow stare had been licked over by enraged flames, the remaining liquor still pumping through his system and warming his blood until it sizzled. His fists were balled tightly, fangs peeking past the taunt snarl on his lips. Junhui appeared calmer, though the bar of composure was quite low to begin with. The unkempt ends of his midnight black hair were shaking, his sharp nose crinkled, and his stare so impossibly intense that you were nauseated a vein on his neck might become engorged and pop. 
As interesting as it would be for you to witness your first fist fight, you knew it wasn’t a wise idea for these two to start swinging at each other.
You set a hand on Yeeun’s shoulder, “maybe you should stop thi—,”
Suddenly, her palms encased her mouth as the last few words of toxicity were spat between Mingyu and Junhui, the crowd erupting in brazen cheering as the two lunged for one another in a flash of blurred colour. Your jaw was permanently unhinged, your body set in stone, attention completely spellbound under the boys who were viciously entangled. The world seemed to spin at a snail’s pace whilst the fight flickered faster than lightning. At one point Mingyu had Junhui shoved up against the wall, one hand nearly ripping through the boy’s black-collared shirt as he tore his free fist back and swiftly launched it forward. The hard ridges of Mingyu’s knuckles connected with Junhui’s eye, his head smashed back into the drywall so that an indentation remained.
“G-Get the fuck off me, Mingyu!”
“You fucking asked for this, dumbass!”
In another fuzzy whirlwind of movement, Junhui managed to push Mingyu backward and onto the snack table, bowls and bottled alcohol spilling across the floor with jade shards of glass scattering in flurries. Junhui drew his fist into Mingyu’s face, the collision splintering against Mingyu’s brow bone. You could see the speckles of blood flying off Junhui’s hand as he curled his fingers into another ball, preparing to throw once more. Panic encompassed you from every angle; it drowned you above your head until the crowd’s bellowing became a muffled choir to your ears. 
You could hardly breathe as your sights shifted to Yeeun, the girl with her hands still clasped to her mouth, doing absolutely nothing.
Was that a smirk hidden behind her hands?
She really did have a dark heart. By the looks of it no one was going to intervene. You were most likely the soberest person in attendance. Even if it downright petrified you, letting those two get their hands so bloodied it would look like they doused their arms in red paint wasn’t a viable option.
“Hey!” You barked, slowly etching your way into the clearing, “what the fuck is wrong with you two?! Get off each other!”
Mingyu and Junhui were still a violent mass now buckled to the floor, anger and alcohol swelling through their bodies like a drug. You felt your knees wobble, as though a tight fist had an ironclad grip on your entrails and was squelching them around slowly. Junhui had Mingyu pressed to the floor, and raised in his arm was a sparkling shard belonging to a smashed bottle. You didn’t know what it was, but something inside compelled you to react. In a mere instant you were ripping the shard from Junhui’s hand and screaming at the top of your lungs, the crowd’s cheering turned to hushed whispers.
“Enough!”
Your chest was heaving, fingers grasping the glass piece tightly enough that thin lines of red began dripping down your hand. Junhui and Mingyu had peeled themselves apart, the deep marring of hatred etched so profoundly into their eyes you’d never be able to forget it. Yeeun suddenly blossomed with emotion after standing on the outskirts smirking into her palm, the girl bounding toward Mingyu and snaking her arms around his neck like she’d been downright sobbing with worry the whole time.
“C’mon, Gyu,” she gritted, “we’re leaving.”
Thanks for the help.
You were tempted to call.
The fight between Mingyu and Junhui might have stopped, but the party continued to thrive. You were wandering through the upstairs hallway as the wooden floorboards jolted beneath you, driven by incessant music that became a furthering echo. Fresh blood had yet to stop streaming down the grooves between your knuckles, pooling from the lacerations of that jagged, glass shard and wetting your warm skin. You continued seeking for a bathroom, any room really that might contain a first aid kit, or at least some water and tissues that would help to clean your hand.
Each room was either occupied or locked. A defeated sigh ghosted from your lips as you stood at the end of the hall, weakly knocking your healthy hand against the last door. Scarlet drops were creating a puddle on the wood whilst you waited, until the brass handle jiggled and you were stepping back in shock that someone had actually acknowledged your presence.
Of course, the person doing the acknowledging had to be Yeeun.
“Oh! It’s… you.” She murmured. Behind her slim frame you could see Mingyu sitting on the sink, holding a cloth to his eyebrow.
“It’s me,” you replied, desperately wanting to skip the small talk and use the first aid kit. Didn’t she say she was leaving?
Yeeun finally noticed the red pathways on your hand and nodded, “I see you need to get yourself bandaged up.”
“Yeah, that’d be nice.” You hummed, trying not to sound impatient but utterly failing.
“Well… I’ll be right back then. Just so you know there’s no gauze left.”
“That’s okay, I don’t think I’ll need an—,”
“I’m going to look for some!” Yeeun called as she squeezed her way past you and began trudging down the corridor, “be back soon!”
Mingyu tossed you a lopsided smile when you entered the bathroom. You kicked the door shut with your foot to drown as much noise as possible. Though the small barrier didn’t do too much in regards to sound, it certainly made the bathroom feel one-hundred times smaller. Or maybe it was solely Mingyu and his gargantuan height. Perhaps it wasn’t any of those factors and you were just feeling nervous to be enclosed in a private space with him. Either way, your face turned into magma and you felt like swallowing sand. Without saying a word you turned on the sink and let the cold water stream between your fingers.
“Hey.” He began.
Oh no. If you initiate conversation with me there’s a ninety-nine percent chance I’m going to fall in love with you.
“Thanks for intervening. You kinda saved my life there.”
You scoffed whilst scrubbing the dry scarlet from your wrist, “I think you could have taken him.”
Mingyu took the wet cloth from his brow and folded it over before reapplying pressure to his own wound, sighing deeply. “Fuck this. I hate getting drunk.”
Fastening your teeth into your lower lip, you remained silent and continued swirling around the bloodied skin until the red currents seemed to all drain away, down the white porcelain. You winced a little because there was indeed a stinging sensation, but it was better than allowing the cuts to get infected. Mingyu’s curious gaze was watching the scene intently, and with his body propped right next to the sink, there was really no easy way to avoid your feelings other than to talk with him.
“How’s your injury?”
“I don’t know, how is it?” He peeled the damp cloth from his brow bone. You could see that directly in the centre the skin had spilt, a little ways above the brow and a little beneath it, bright pink flesh gleaming from between the dark hairs and tanned skin. It would definitely leave a scar.
“I’m no doctor, but you might need stitches.”
“Seriously?” Mingyu grimaced. “That fucking sucks.”
You scoffed. “That’s funny. The same kid who socked Junhui in his eye is afraid of getting a few itty bitty baby stitches.”
Mingyu pouted, his thick brows then slanting downward which made him wince petulantly. You couldn’t suppress your chuckling, turning off the sink with a coy smile playing along your mouth.
“I’m joking.”
“I know.” Mingyu said. “I’m sure everyone’s gonna start saying he’ll rake my eyes out at purge.”
You laughed at that too, though deep down you both knew it wasn’t anything flowery to laugh about. Junhui was the definition of nefarious. Similar to Yeeun his family danced in riches, their security systems were top-notch, and his access to weaponry and blueprints of the city could be in his hands within minutes. People worshiped the ground he walked on, but it wasn’t because they liked him. It was only sensible to play nice to the person capable of taking your life away in a single breath. 
Of course, Junhui’s reputation made him a prime target, yet despite all the people who secretly wanted him dead, it was difficult to even lay a scathe on his amber skin.
In your eyes it was better to avoid the boy altogether. That way you never gave him any reason to seek out your oblivious-self during the annual purge. Mingyu had crossed that line to the fullest extent. He laid more than an innocent scathe on Junhui; the boy had given him an entire fist to his pretty, supposedly untouchable face. Feeling your heartbeat thump widely, you quickly willed to change the subject.
“Do you see any cloths? Or Kleenex? Anything?”
Mingyu frowned. “Sorry, nothing.”
You shook your arm out over the sink to shed some water droplets, yet the blood still continued to bead. Mingyu looked sympathetic. He presumed it was his fault you were even injured in the first place.
“Yeeun’s getting gauze.”
“I think I’ll be okay—,”
“Wait!” Mingyu suddenly piped. “This might be super awkward but—,” the boy’s tongue peaked out between his pink lips as he gripped the end of his white t-shirt and gave it a tear, pulling off a strip of fabric.
Your cheeks began crackling and your palms felt oddly clammy, “M-Mingyu, don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”
“Doesn’t matter,” the boy said, “this shirt’s old and busted anyways. It’s better than walking home, dripping blood everywhere.”
You smiled softly and stared at the floor.
“Here! I’ll even wrap it for you.” He purred, gently reaching for your arm and twining the white material like a roll of bandages around your hand. 
Forgetting about his own spilt brow that began clotting with blood, Mingyu finished his dexterous work with a tender glance that made your stomach flip, his chocolate bangs falling endearingly before his eyes. After shaking the fringe away, he gave you a thumbs-up.
“Now you look like you just got into a fight.”
“Right, because I’m the first person everyone suspects to start a fight. You hit the nail on the head with that one.”
Mingyu chuckled at the heavy sarcasm, blinking his pretty lashes at you with such warmth you keened to melt like an ice cream cone. You supposed after that moment, Mingyu might not be nearly as brutal as his drunken, love-induced mind influenced him to be. For a fleeting moment you even doubted that this was the same boy with his own kill-list. His eyes glimmered like diamonds catching a shaft of light.
“That’s something only time can tell.” He purred
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Two Years Ago –
When Mingyu and Yeeun broke up, it was like the universe took its cue to make everything in life feel unreal. If their romance was nothing more than a mirage, then had romance ever existed in the first place? At least to you, it routinely appeared as though Yeeun’s heart had never been within the same realm as Mingyu’s. There was always an island of separation between them, one little ploy that prevented the couple from truly clicking like puzzle pieces. That ploy was exigent in the form of onyx hair, a sultry voice, and bottomless eyes.
In other words the obstacle was Junhui. Yeeun started dating him no less than a month after the break-up.
Mingyu, he was crushed; taking the point of devastation and expanding it an extra nine yards. In contrast with Yeeun’s heart, his was always wide open, warmer than a summer fire and more embracing than sun rays. You swore she would be the girl he took to meet his mother, the girl whose finger he delicately touched to slide upon a silver loop. A part of you crumbled each time you saw them together, before the break-up, and even more so after the party.
Remembering how his rough fingertips skimmed the wet (and surely burning) skin of your hand as he wrapped the cloth around it did something peculiar to your mind. Reminiscing on the soft timbre of his chuckles made your head spin, and replaying the manner in which his eyes twinkled as he gazed at you through his thick bangs brought forth fluttering in your stomach. It was what you were daydreaming about even after their infamous break-up, fingers clacking against the keys on your laptop whilst you finished an essay in the library. To your dismay, the thoughts were scattered by conversation at the table behind you.
“Think Junhui is gonna gut Mingyu at purge?”
“Probably not, Mingyu would be expecting it. And it’s not like he’s hopeless. Did you hear about how he stabbed someone to death in the tunnel last year?”
“Yeah. But Junhui’s clique practically owns the purge. They’ll tear your fuckin’ house down if they can find it.”
“…True. Those two seriously have some bad fucking blood. Do you remember the rumours about how Junhui sho— ”
Unable to listen any longer without this horrendous churning against the walls of your stomach, you shoved your laptop into its carrying case, swung it over your shoulder and began shuffling between the book shelves. Your stare traced the floor whilst a pummeling sensation thundered into your ribcage. Mingyu didn’t seem like the type to kill, though you didn’t know him personally, and perhaps he had matters of vengeance that crooned for redemption. This tiny hope inside you flickered, prayed that Mingyu was unlike Junhui, the kind that tortured for torture’s sake, the kind that shoved a pistol beneath your jaw because you looked at them funny.
Suddenly, you collided with someone. Blinking upward, you gazed at the body you’d walked into, Mingyu, who was in the midst of pulling out a book.
“Sorry! I wasn’t looking where I was going.” You apologized.
You hadn’t seen him for a while, but he looked healthy, a bit tired perhaps, but mostly healthy. Dressed in comfy clothing, a grey hood drawn with his earbuds plugged in, he popped one of the speakers out and lent a small smile. His eyes were slightly veiled by his earthy bangs, the coarse fronds wavy in front of his forehead. His scent was a concoction of something tropic mixed with cannabis, and when he spoke his voice was lower than usual.
“Were you leaving?” Mingyu asked.
Yes.
“No, no. I wanted to finish my essay somewhere that wasn’t... back there.”
“Oh,” he sighed, “seemed like you were in a rush.”
“I was just thinking.”
Mingyu stuck the book back into its gap and smiled, “about?”
You sniffled. “What?”
“What were you thinking about?”
Obviously you were not going to admit that you just overheard conversation about Mingyu being gutted under Junhui’s hand, about Mingyu supposedly cramming a knife through whoever’s chest during last year’s purge, about Mingyu’s history of participation in the annual mayhem that plagued the country like a sickness each year. Now that the purge was on your mind, a dark worry skulked in the shadowy crevices of your brain, yet it seemed to dissipate just as quickly as it arrived when Mingyu stared at you so gently.
“How much I hate essays.”
He nodded. “That must be it.”
Without thinking, you blurted, “what happened with your eyebrow? Did you get a scar?”
He simply carded back the bangs covering his forehead and poked at the nick with his finger. It would have been courteous to receive a warning that he was going to reveal his forehead. He had no clue how powerful a mechanism it truly was, how badly you wanted to kiss that tiny scar after seeing the slit through his brow. Swallowing the flushed heat that arose in your throat, you grinned with a closed lip.
“Well, it makes you look like a badass if that’s any comfort.”
Mingyu let his hair flop back into place and laughed quietly. “What’s up with your hand? That cut looked so nasty.”
Looking down at your fingers, you probed the faint lines of where the glass had sliced your skin, engraved almost, like a stone carving.
“Kinda. It doesn’t look as cool as your eyebrow slit though. And you’re way less busted than Jun. His eye is still purple.”
For a brief ellipse you simply embraced the opportunity of being alone with Mingyu. That some higher deity had taken pity on your life barren with romance and granted you this precious exchange to add to your vault of daydreams. The more his hoarse voice lapped at your ears, surely roughened yet equally soothing, you felt your chest create a burrow for him, a gap that only he could fill. It baffled you, that Yeeun could break his heart. But it didn’t surprise you. She was built from titanium, similar to Junhui, and together they were hawks that would make prey of everyone.
“Trust me,” Mingyu said, “it wouldn’t make me feel any better if we were matching.” 
His jaw clenched, and his stare slipped to the floor for a transient moment. A nearly imperceptible breeze tickled up the back of your neck, causing you to rub at the fine hairs as Mingyu’s usual aura slowly dissipated into a much darker nuance. You gulped, attempting to laugh something of comfort back into the air.
“There’s a lot we could match in, like... bracelets! Or a necklace! Or one of those couple t-shirts... Not that we’re a couple,” stuttering helplessly, you felt electricity tingle in your cheeks, “I was just thinking about matching stuff and that popped into my hea—”
“It’s fine.” Mingyu responded, the storm clouds cast in his gaze finally ebbing away. He smiled, and a deep chuckle rumbled in his chest.
“You’re pretty cute y’know? I don’t think I’d mind.”
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1 year ago –
You never spoke commonly to Mingyu about the idea of purging until you were thrust into the political nightmare on a whim, a stupid, stupid, moonstruck whim.  The few times the morbid topic arose seriously, neither of you had enlightening stories to exchange. A bitter knot lodged itself into your throat the night you reiterated to Mingyu about the tragedies concerning your parents; the disappearance of your father and the abduction of your mother, a tearful lining glossy in your eyes.
You’d never seen Mingyu express such grief when he returned the storytelling.
He moved out from his parent’s house when he was eighteen years old, his best friend, Minghao, making the journey alongside him. Faintly, you remembered Minghao, more or so from your high school days when you shared the same last period art class. He had always been rather subdue, never really speaking with anyone apart from Mingyu, though there had was a handful of times where you caught him and another boy, Wonwoo, skipping class together. Apparently Wonwoo didn’t have a very good home life. He’d supposedly been forced into purging since middle school, and his psyche never quite recovered. 
You never even saw Wonwoo smile apart from when he was with Minghao. 
However, one day that boy from your art class just disappeared, and the rumours hadn’t stopped swirling since. It was a common fact that Minghao never purged. He didn’t have any bad blood with anyone either.
Not that you were aware of.
In the beginning stages of Mingyu’s purging he used to commonly venture with a group of three friends. Wonwoo happened to be one of them, plus another named Jihoon (who you could recall dawdling around in the background of the party) though Mingyu never named the third. He described it as being pure, inexplicable dread. They were constantly finding themselves in gruesome situations that forced their true colours from camouflage, how they stole burning glimpses of the other when the night came to an end and blood was caked to their clothing. The purge had tainted all of them, some more than others, whether it be with drug addiction, eternal madness, or an unhealthy fascination to mend so seamlessly with the evil that they personified it.
However, genuine fear pitted in the core of your stomach when Mingyus’ fists had clenched in his lap, his features distracted by a look of anguish as he sucked in a breath and spoke in an unsettling, distant tone.
“It was four of us in my car. I was driving, Wonwoo and Jihoon were in the backseat, and he... he took up the passenger seat. It was different... How he reacted to the purge... The rest of us were still somewhat fearful of it but he almost thrived in all the destruction. We were even talking about going purging without him the next year, but...
Mingyu had to clear his throat.
“I guess Minghao was waiting for me to come back to the house. He probably wasn’t even waiting on me specifically, he had this little crush on one of my friends, Wonwoo. They were always messing around together. Minghao probably got excited when he heard us, so he came outside, onto the grass... But then I heard the pop of the gun out the open window... I just... I don’t fucking know if he thought Minghao was a maniac or... If he was on drugs or something... But, God... He just —“
You didn’t allow him to say anymore when his words became warped, when his voice cracked and his eyes split like a sheet of broken glass. Minghao didn’t just disappear - he was killed, and Mingyu knew who was responsible. Instead of pressing him for details, you reached for his hand, rubbed your thumb along his knuckles, made sure he knew that you were there for him. 
And yet you had been thrust into the setting of the same picture during your first purge, the first time you had ever experienced what it was like to harm someone, turning their existence into an irreparable patch in the universe.
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This is your emergency broadcast system, announcing the commencement of the annual purge.
At the siren, all crime, including murder, will be legal for twelve hours.
All emergency services will be suspended.
Your government thanks you for your participation.
“This is going to be your entire fault if I die tonight, Mingyu! I just want you to know that!”
“Relax. You’re going to be fine. We’re going to be fine.”
It was nothing short of chaotic. Pitch blackness shrouded the skylight like a heavy cloth, the distant rattle of gunfire and screams sitting heavy in the air as you raced down the street. The horrendous acts were most commonly centred to the city’s heart, where prime businesses, rich corporations, and notorious killers congregated to create havoc. Still, that didn’t make you any less petrified, your nails sinking into Mingyu’s hand like dog’s teeth. Fights were slowly beginning to litter the sidewalk, a store going up in orange flame and hissing embers now glinting behind you.
“I knew that we weren’t going to make it back to your place on time. I knew it was stupid that we even questioned going out on purge in the first place - Ah!”
You shrieked at an unprecedented decibel as two men came tumbling out of the alleyway only meters away from your feet, your body slamming into Mingyu’s backside when he cemented himself to a halt. The men payed no notice to you, entirely engulfed in their own world of vengeance through bloodied fists and messy punches.
“This way.” Mingyu’s words were like a breeze in the midst of a hurricane.
You hardly registered he’d even said anything until his grip lurched you forward and you were stumbling to the opposite side of the street. Then, your jogging pace skyrocketed into running, the breaths just squeezing from between your lips and the pain in your chest aching so potently you felt like vomiting. Your stamina was breaking faster than glass. You couldn’t afford to run any longer.
“M-Mingyu, can we please stop?”
The boy didn’t seem to have a choice as your fingers began unclasping from his hand, your body collapsing on the concrete staircase belonging to the city bell tower. Mingyu anxiously carded his hair back, his eyes moving hyperactively down the street only to be greeted with more and more violence consuming his vision. Gunshots seemed to thunder from every direction, splintered shouts joining hymn. Large trucks blared down the black pavement with ominous members hunched in the open cap, holding weaponry and wearing masks of painted wood.
The boy squatted down, his palm firmly encasing your cheek and keeping your head up.
“I’ll give you a minute. But then we have to keep going. It’s too dangerous to stay in one spot.”
You stared into Mingyu’s face with a tiresome expression, the bronzed and gleaming hue of his skin reflecting the fire that crackled in the distance. His touch became sterner as he moved in closer, his eyes no less than a few inches from your own.
“Trust me, I know you’re exhausted. We’re gonna be at my place soon though, okay? You just gotta hold tight for a little longer.” He pressed his forehead against yours, and met your gaze head on. “I’m going to keep you safe, I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
An intruding shout echoed a little too closely down the street, engendering you to choke on your own heartbeat. Mingyu growled in irritancy, pivoting his head and glaring at the stranger who stepped from an alleyway. Rather than looking frightened (you were on the verge of sobbing bullets), Mingyu’s forehead crinkled angrily, the tiny scar that cut through his brow beginning to slant.
“Stay put.” Mingyu commanded you.
There was a colder lining to his tone that you’d never heard before, malevolent and icy. As soon as his touch fell from your cheek, you knew his hands were about to tend to a much different matter. Your mind implored for you to look away, yet your heart waned for the exact opposite. The man was scraggly and a bit stockier than Mingyu, a mischievous intent welling in his movement as he seemed to dance back and forth like a hummingbird. He wore a smooth, white mask and a heavy brown coat that bore many unidentified stains, a long, curved blade in his hand.
“You’re just a kid,” the man taunted, “it’s always the younger crowd that get so riled about the concept of murder, think they’re all that, but they drop faster than flies when it comes down to it.”
Mingyu didn’t waver. “You should keep talking if you want that knife poking through the opposite side of your throat.”
You inhaled stiltedly. This was definitely not the same Mingyu who smiled with the power of a burning star, his mannerisms filling your chest with laughter and his golden eyes bathing your face with heat. You thought back to the library, the conversation that drawled behind you. This was the Mingyu they were talking about. You had a feeling that the innocent projections in your head were close to changing.
The man chuckled and pointed his knife, shaking it at Mingyu, “you’ve got the same cockiness as that rich China boy’s little clique. I’m sure you’ve heard about them. They’ll be flocking to the streets any minute now.”
Mingyu spoke gutturally in response, the disgust and repulsion so thick in his voice you almost couldn’t recognize it. “Don’t you fucking dare compare me to him.”
The man chuckled darkly, “hit a nerve, did I?”
You weren’t sure what happened next, mainly because it all happened so fast, a series of swift movements (on Mingyu’s behalf) that resulted in your pulse fizzling like hot oil. Ultimately you were going to be exposed to murder one way or another, though watching it reflect in the glassy curve of your own eyes left behind a deep scarring. The man lurched at Mingyu with his hefty blade slashing for the chest, most likely assuming that because of Mingyu’s height he would be quite slow and lack agility.
However, that was severely not the case, to the man’s dismay more than anyone else’s. Within the span of sixty measly seconds Mingyu had tripped him onto his back, snatched the blade from his grip and wedged the knife directly into the man’s windpipe, exactly as he said he would do.
At that point you couldn’t look away even if you wanted to. Mingyu’s breathing was level as he rose from the man’s waist, a burgundy pool of blood bubbling at the neck where the blade had punctured skin. Mingyu lifted his jacket, pulled the knife out, and attached the weapon through his belt. He spent an extra few moments patting the fresh corpse down until he uncovered a small revolver hidden in the inside pocket on the man’s coat. When Mingyu handed you the revolver in means of protection, you didn’t realize you were shivering.
“Now,” he pronounced, “we’re going home.”
And at the time you believed him. 
Until thirty minutes stretched into an hour, an hour into two hours, three hours, four hours. The chaos that was the purge had encompassed you both. This supposedly psychological device controlled you like a ventriloquist. Violence sneered at every turn and eventually an unspoken conclusion emerged; that it was easier to join chaos than it was to run from it. Later that night everything came full circle. 
You were the one pointing the weapon, aiming the silver barrel into the face of the man who had broken in your home and abducted your mother last year, on account of stupid, petty crimes your father had committed in the past. Seconds before touching the trigger, all you could picture was his face swathed in moonlight, the horror that clawed in your stomach when you ran down from your room that night to see him yanking her out the smashed window. 
And when you felt the release of the bullet, it became emboldened that it truly was a small, cruel world.
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Present –
Squeezing one eye shut, you held the black gun with both hands and aimed the muzzle toward a tree stump that acted as your target, a cheek pressed into the taunt muscle of your shoulder as you inhaled a steadying breath. Delicate winds blew across the meadow, each strand of grass rippling in a hypnotic wave. The horizon lay beyond the tree trunk, a bleeding yellow sun submerging quietly behind the endless terrain, casting a honeyed glow to speckle like rain droplets upon your face.
There was not a single sound apart from the grassy fronds tickling against each other, your concentration solidifying to a mar in the tree bark. Then, your finger ghosted over the trigger, a sharp burst echoing into the pale yellow sky and causing a distant congregation of birds to take flight. The bullet struck the wood, right where you had envisioned the lead entering.
“Look at you,” the tension keyed into your bones drifted away, exiting your body in a shallow exhale once Mingyu’s prideful tone filled the spaces between the winds, “your shot may be even better than mine now.”
After lowering the firearm to face the earth and switching the safety on, a demure smile danced across your lips. Mingyu’s arms were strong and looping carefully around your waist, hauling you back into the broad expanse of his chest. He buried his face into the smooth plane where your shoulder met your neck, his soft locks feathering along your jaw. You giggled the second his lips kissed your shoulder, evening sunlight spilling across the meadow and encouraging heat to caress your skin.
“The student becomes the teacher,” you purred, “I even remembered to turn the safety on this time.”
“You’re damn right you remembered to turn the safety on,” the boy quipped sternly, his palms gliding downward to grip your hips and spin you around, “you almost took my kneecap off the last time.”
Furrowing your brows, you pursed your lip at him petulantly, “can we stop talking about that? It was a mistake you big idiot.”
“I know, I know,” Mingyu cooed, “a very, very, very dangerous mistake.”
You rolled your eyes as he unwound the black firearm from your fingers. He walked toward his jacket that sat on the blanket you’d strewn across the grass, making sure to place it back inside the pocket.
“You still need some more practice, but I think for today we can call it quits. How does that sound?”
The boy then fell back onto the blanket with his head titled to the side, his eyes staring up at you winsomely. With the sun flaring behind you, the vibrant streaks set the grass aflame, making it appear as though Mingyu was sitting in the centre of a fire. His skin twinkled like golden silk and his canines peaked between his lips in a smirk. Shrugging your shoulders impetuously, you stumbled toward the blanket and fell into the boy’s lap, squirming against his broad body until he became pinned beneath your weight. As though he were a glass vase, you gingerly swept your finger along his scarred brow.
“Sounds fine,” you hummed, “since I kinda wanna makeout with you right now.”
“I love how straightforward you are, baby.” Mingyu confessed with his intoxicated gaze drinking in your image, already imploring for a taste of the strawberry balm that defined the pretty arches of your mouth.
Unable to quell how your body yearned for him, you gave your eyes a toss and pressed your lips to his. Mingyu craned his neck forward in immediate desperation to feel more pressure against his mouth; however, he soon gave up his craning and allowed his elbows to give out beneath him. His hands snuck beneath your shirt, to which he placed soft squeezes against your ribcage, fingertips skimming lower and lower until they were running along the back hem of your shorts. You continued to straddle his waist as the kiss drawled further, rhythmically slow and sweet.
You didn’t think it was humanly possible for your chest to be so encompassed with fondness, yet here you were, brushing your digits through Mingyu’s tresses, pressing your forehead to his, encasing his lower lip between your teeth to experimentally tug until the flesh swelled and glistened in garnet. You weren’t really sure how you started dating, it just sort of happened. It was perhaps an escalation of lingering touches, infatuated glances, and hot, fever dreams that kept you both slamming awake at blue midnight.
After your first purge together, the connection between you strengthened, like welding two pieces of molten iron into one. It was an experience that ruined you, stripped you of any innocent fragments still clinging to your bone, and once the night came to an end and you were sitting on Mingyu’s bed with blood spatters sopped into your cloths, you burst into tears. Strangely, you weren’t sobbing out of pain, mortification, you were sobbing because you could. It was the only accurate way to depict the weird melancholic, hopeless lump in your throat.
You squeaked as Mingyu grew impatient of your slow kisses. His want was increasing and he couldn’t bear to hear the quiet mewls that kept slipping from your mouth. His strength effortlessly allowed him to flip you on your back, his mass keeping you slack against the blanket as his lips dotted your jaw, your ear’s cusp, until he craved to taste more of the natural salt on your skin and his kisses ventured further down your throat.
Mingyu began suckling at a sensitive patch near your pulse. The warmth of his tongue combined with his teeth, and you felt him scrape his canines sharply against your skin. It wasn’t until the boy nudged his thigh between your legs that your fingers lurched into his scalp, tugging the earth fronds tightly. You couldn’t help but buck up against him, summoning a growl from his chest that only made him press his fangs into the soft skin with more force; not enough to actually break the petal-thin flesh, but enough to leave deep, possessive indentations. The ecstasy drumming in your veins was insatiable.
And yet, you knew it couldn’t progress.
With a fragile whine you placed your hands against Mingyu’s chest and gave the giant a small push, his mouth regretfully detaching from the beautiful marks he was intent on leaving all over your body. He spoke coarsely, breathlessly, when his rosy face surfaced from your neck, though the glaze in his eyes had quickly softened out of fear he’d made you uncomfortable.
“What’s wrong? I wasn’t being too rough, was I?” He gathered your hand in his and kissed along your knuckles apologetically.
“No, not at all,” You mumbled, still dealing with the blare of crimson running through your veins, “I just… Don’t think we should, do it, in a field.”
The hollow grooves in Mingyu’s features immediately flushed with solace, a large sigh escaping from his chest as he allowed his head to tumble into your shoulder.
“Thank God, I thought I hurt you or something,” he heaved in relief.
Your heart sang wildly, knowing that he truly was a boy gentler than butterfly wings and softer than cotton. It was difficult to imagine him as the same boy who ruthlessly shoved a blade through a man’s windpipe, allowing thick trails of blood to slide from the open wound and create morbid puddles on the hard cement. The evening air seemed to turn cooler, the wind’s peaceful lilting now picking up with more vigor. Mingyu collapsed at your side, one of his long legs still tossed over your waist as you stroked his hair.
With the sun halfway behind the horizon, you gulped whilst watching the yellow sky fade into watered, fierce shades of orange.
“Mingyu?” You hummed.
“Yeah?” His warm breath scattered in a ticklish manner against your neck.
“What’s going to happen with you and Junhui?”
Mingyu stiffened instantly. Nibbling on your lower lip, you watched with sincere eyes as the boy lifted into a sitting position. You joined him, closely monitoring the contours of his face that had surely twisted at the mention of the sinister purger. There was no room to blame Mingyu for harbouring such distaste toward the boy. Junhui did swoop in and steal his ex-girlfriend fresh after the breakup and run purge night like he invented the device himself.
Still, you wondered if there could be something more. If there could be a more profound explanation for why the air was so stale between them.
“Nothing is going to happen,” Mingyu said flatly, “are you scared?”
Caught off guard by his sudden questioning, you stumbled over your syllables for a painful second, his gaze turning back to wrack you curiously.
“N-No, I was- I just- I was only wondering.”
“He’s too obsessed with himself to care about me. Don’t worry, okay? Nothing is going to happen, baby.” Mingyu said in a much lighter tone, his signature, canine smile quirking along his lips. 
Despite his calm protrusions, you could sense that something murky was swimming behind the curve in his eyes. The boy leaned backward and planted his lips against your forehead, leaving a small, adoring kiss. Shaking away the ominous tension that came with simply speaking the purger’s name, you grasped for Mingyu’s hand and smiled.
“Let’s head back into town.”
He set his jacket as well as the blanket in the backseat and climbed to sit at the wheel.
“Don’t forget about that, y’know,” you reminded him whilst gesturing to his jacket, “it’s not like there’s a gun in there or something.”
“A gun with the safety on.” He replied sheepishly, to which you simply huffed and stared out the window.
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You stopped Mingyu when you were no less than a block away from your new apartment building, the tires crunching to a halt beside the common coffee shop.
“I’ll get out here,” you told him, “I’ll be fine to walk back to the complex. I just really want caffeine.”
Mingyu leaned over and pushed the car door open for you, his palm tenderly grazing your thigh as he found your lips. He gave you a quick goodbye kiss, and you felt flowers bloom between the bones of your ribcage.
“Text me when you get home, alright?” He reminded when you slid from the passenger seat.
Scurrying into the coffee shop, you already had an idea of what drink you’d like to get. As you stood off to the side waiting for an employee to call out your coffee, you fell into a slight trance, your eyes casting mistily across the cozy atmosphere whilst the sky began darkening beyond the clean window panes. You thought about Mingyu, how laughable it was that you were dating, and yet you knew you loved him like ink loves to kiss paper.
Hm, you chuckled inwardly, that girl sitting in that booth by the window, she looks like Yeeun, and that guy beside her really resembles Junhui. That’s funny.
That’s funny.
That’s… funny…
“Order 24, half decaf, two sugars one cream.”
To your inexplicable terror, heart-twisting dread, and every other repulsive emotion that could have cloaked you in that moment of realization, the couple sitting at the window booth was indeed Junhui and Yeeun. The employee called out your order again, this time a little louder, drawing customers to look left and right with puzzled glances. The nefarious couple was sitting across from two familiar faces, one with jet black hair brushed away from his forehead, the other disquieting with how vacant his face appeared, a grey beanie pulling back the fronds from his porcelain features, and a lollipop shoved between his lips.
It took you a minute, but you eventually recognized the lollipop boy as Wonwoo. He looked insanely different compared to your outdated, high school memories, where he was just a scrawny, fox-faced boy with the straightest black bangs you’d ever seen, always running around next to Minghao, getting pink in the face when the younger so much as smiled at him. It was evident that purging had completely hardened his face, his aura, to which he developed an almost sinister light. Whoever he was now, he definitely wasn’t the same boy. Jihoon sat next to him, impatiently spinning a stir stick between his fingers.
You didn’t know why you weren’t moving. Mingyu’s words rang in your head.
Are you scared?
Craving nothing more than for a sinkhole to form beneath your feet and swallow you whole, you did the sole thing your body permitted you to do; walk sternly out the coffee shop and pretend you never ordered a single thing.
God - I hope they didn’t see me. That would be the last thing I want, for Junhui and his purging buddies to have anything to do with me.
Jihoon and Wonwoo with Junhui was odd. Had they always been friends? Junhui never attended your high school either, rather he used to be a student at a prestigious private school you couldn’t ever dream of getting into.
Your apartment was close. You could distinguish its height amongst the low-cut buildings lining the sidewalk. If you just walked a little faster, you could be up the cement staircase, swinging open the glass doorway, and be safe within the front lobby. Titling your head back you quickly ogled at the sky. It wasn’t completely black yet, but there were distant tinges of dark, oily colours that pressed down like a heavy thumbprint amongst the grey. The wind picked up behind you, slamming into your backside in menacing howls.
Finally, you’d reached the cement steps—
But it was too late.
His tone was smoother than a crystal ball, lower than baritone, and incredibly seasoned at feigning genuineness. Hearing your name cascade from his mouth that was deceivingly shaped as a heart made your breath flatten. You didn’t want to turn around and face him, but it was too late to pretend you never heard his chant. Unwillingly, your body pivoted like a stone statue, your foot taking that one victorious step back as it left the staircase.
“You walk so fast, you could have been sprinting.”
“Exercise is good.” You nearly wheezed.
For the first time, you realized just how tall Junhui was, his body appearing as a shadowy mass as the wind blew the tails of his trench coat. His brows were slanted, lips quirked, his irises so rounded you could hardly see the white bits. He was handsome in the way that some people found graveyards entrancing. It was the eeriness that allured you.
“You left your coffee.” He stated.
“I realized I had somewhere to be.” You tried to hold his gaze, but it was impossible to evade the nervous eye fluttering.
“As anyone would, it’s getting late.”
The wind whistled between you, dark clouds swirling above your head as though the sky were a witch’s cauldron.
“I think it might rain,” you said meekly, “are you looking to ask me something?”
Junhui took a step forward. He’d never been this close to you before, maybe a few inches away from the tip of your nose. Your gaze tripped to his eye, the eye that Mingyu had driven his clenched fist into that one night, causing Junhui’s head to thrust back against the plaster. You swallowed the salty brick in your throat.
“I heard you like to purge now.” Junhui said with a smile. You swore his caramel gaze glinted with excitement.
Your blood froze. How did he know about that? Junhui saw through you like a translucent piece of plastic. He saw how you inwardly panicked.
“I was surprised,” he cooed, “you don’t seem like the type… But I suppose all that running around with Mingyu changed your morals.”
Your heart was beating at such a frantic pace you feared it may dislodge itself from your chest and land in your mouth.
“I’m so elated you found purpose,” his midnight fronds then fell mischievously before his eyes, keeping the candor of his secrets hidden from you, “the purge is a time of cleansing intended to help people like us find a little alleviation in the world. That one person whose been causing you grief? You won’t have to worry about their disgusting discrepancy that makes you so infuriated. It’s quite healing,” Junhui purred, “if you ask me.”
It felt as though someone just ripped your tongue from between your teeth. You couldn’t speak even if you wanted to. A splash of rain thumped your forehead, and yet you allowed the cold bead to trickle along the side of your nose and run onto your cheek. Junhui’s hand delicately raised, his thumb caressing the droplet away. He stood closer now, eliminating any room in which the wind could whisper through, his bangs tickling your forehead as his onyx pupils bore through your heated face.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, looking toward your lips through his heavy lashes, his fingers pointing your chin upward, “I wouldn’t want you to get hurt just because Mingyu can’t take care of you.”
“I-I trust him,” You managed to squeak, though it required every bone in your body to summon equal modicums of courage.
“C’mon,” Junhui seemed to taunt, “you know who I am, right? I can have any weapon, any blueprint, any ctv footage I want directly in my hands, and all it takes is a single phone call.” He grinned wolfishly. “Besides, Mingyu doesn’t have the most durable history of looking out for others.”
His grip on your chin hardened like steel, heart-shaped lips pressed lightly to your ear’s cusp, “you do know what happened to Minghao, don’t you?”
Your body turned more frigid than ice, the warm blood that pumped beneath your skin running colder with every second that Junhui stood, seeing straight through you and to his old friend he’d hurt so dearly. You instantly grew sick to your stomach. The universe beyond Junhui’s shadow was spinning wildly, darting in nauseating circles like a carousel. The images came in flickers; the truck pulling into the driveway, the window cranking down, the crack of the gun as its bullet pierced a shape in the darkness. No wonder Jihoon and Wonwoo were friends with Junhui. He had been the other person in Mingyu’s car.
You felt lightheaded, like you were going to faint.
“I’ll let you go, but just consider your options. Really, truly consider them.” Junhui murmured. “I’m sure you have some personal contentions kept covert beneath that kind tongue of yours. Given your participation, I know you can upheaval your need to feel purification. If you’re wise, you’ll cleanse with us, with me, as you are entitled to.”
Without a single ripple Junhui broke away, his touch drifting like the edges of a silk blanket from your cheek. Immediately afterward, a disturbing burst of wind whipped between your bodies, inducing a long shiver that crept down your spine and fizzled at your fingertips. Your throat felt like cracked sandpaper and your chest bottomed out with a horrendous, wrenching fear.
Junhui knew that Mingyu didn’t fear him, but he knew that you feared him, and he knew that your fear would grow to consume you now that you’d been introduced to the devastating truth. 
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The radio was on, high-pitched static and monotonous advisement rasping through the car’s sound system. It was clear that in time, there would be a chorus of other harsh noises leaping to fill the sky, any pockets of oxygen, and the spaces that lingered between your hazy breathing. Yet in the dense heat, you could care less.
This is your emergency broadcast system announcing the commencement of The Annual Purge, sanctioned by the government.
It was hot, burning. The air felt like scorching linen that pressed fire into your skin. Mingyu’s teeth scraped along your collarbones, the thin layer of flesh that mapped over them singed with bruises and bites and kisses that still glistened.
Weapons of Class 4 and lower have been authorized for use during the Purge. All other weapons are restricted.
The radio continued to blip. Your fingers tangled through his earth-toned tresses, gripping the thick strands and tugging on them as your throat started to ache. The windows were splotched with oily fingerprints that had been left earlier, when you first climbed onto his lap.
Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity from the Purge and shall not be harmed.
Your legs quivered over his thighs, his hands guiding your hips with such a brute strength that the pain welled into numbness and everything that surrounded you seemed nonexistent, save for where your bodies connected like a jewel to its staff. His forehead fell on your shoulder, groans muffled as they brushed your hot skin. He continued to hit deep, and you knew you couldn’t hold on for much longer, the sparks catching a foreshadowing flame 
Commencing at the siren, any and all crime, including murder, will be legal for 12 continuous hours.
It was then, when your weight came down on his lap for the final time, his hips stuttering upward at the perfect moment, that your head tossed back and you felt the energy rip from your body in a single scream. Mingyu wrapped his arms around your waist, keeping you flush against him, working the pleasure for all its worth. You then buried your face into his neck, a soft sea of your whimpers filling the thick air whilst Mingyu emptied inside you, filling you with warmth.
Police, fire and emergency medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning at 7am, when the Purge concludes.
For a moment, you just needed to close your eyes and breathe in his scent, hear his heartbeat, feel the familiar heat spread throughout your abdomen. He squeezed your hips tight, and his words were barely audible, attempting to drown over the radio’s static as well as the heavy breaths from your lungs. You heard them, even if your ears really had to strain to decipher the syllables whispered at the peak of his sensitivity. Mingyu said he loved you, and he meant it with every ounce of his soul as he felt your body shake in his arms.
Blessed be our New Founding Fathers and a nation, reborn.
And you would have meekly hummed the words in return, if the sudden cacophony of a siren didn’t shred the air like pastry, startling your system that had just come down from the best cloud nine experience you could ever fathom. It would have been wondrous to bask in the afterglow, to trace patterns on his biceps and run your lips over the scar in his brow.  It had all been purloined from you in an instant. Though your centre still ached, you crept off his lap and into the passenger seat, cleaning yourself up as best you could.
“Here,” Mingyu held out his jacket that he’d tossed in the backseat, probably since your training in the fields, “it’ll keep you warm if it actually rains tonight.”
“Thanks.” You murmured whilst slipping the fabric around your body, noting that something a little heavy was inside one of the pockets. You remembered the gun was still inside. Suddenly, Mingyu started the car, the engine purring lowly and musty clouds of exhaust puffing into the empty parking lot.
He tapped the steering wheel with his palm, “where should we head?”
When the sirens faded away, you looked to him and smiled, “wherever you want.”
The red sun seemed anxious to disappear, for its rays cracked across the sky like bloodied, broken ice, hurriedly pushing itself further below the horizon as Mingyu drove into town. The Purge never introduced an easy atmosphere to stomach, yet tonight, you felt the bile in your throat was more acidic than usual. Maybe it was because you knew a huge secret, one that tied Mingyu’s hatred to Junhui’s existence.
You didn’t confess to Mingyu anything. Every word that seeped like a venom from Junhui’s lips was sealed within you, and only you. It was already painful enough for Mingyu to brace through such a traumatic incident. There would come a time when he told you his reasons for hating Junhui, and that time had yet to come.
Even so, the terror was exhausting. The first few nights after your encounter with Junhui, your slumber was plagued by gruesome nightmares, his comfortable laughter, and the black fire that seeped in his eyes as though he were some underworld creature. You’d slam awake in a cold sweat. At times you’d be so drenched that you needed to take a shower before going back to sleep, that is, if your mind allowed you to. Sometimes you would phone Mingyu and lie to him, tell him you needed to hear the brass in his voice as your nighttime spell.
You never told him about the nightmares, the panic, or the anxiety. Now the Purge had returned after its position was quelled in the nation for a year. Your head turned to glance more thoroughly out the window after you flitted past a man holding an axe tool, a painted mask shielding his face.
It didn’t take long for the streets to begin flooding with people of the same stature, and if their eyes of thirst were hidden behind costumes, then it became more than evident in the weaponry that adorned their guises. Mingyu seemed calm as he stared out the dash, his eyes giving away nothing that would hint toward his inner complex. You sighed and let your cheek rest in your palm, your gaze unable to stop tracing each and every person that emerged from the dark crevices.
About forty-five minutes had passed, driving around the quieter outskirts of the city. Looking into the side-mirror, you watched as the occasional killing occurred behind you.
Mingyu smiled. “The night just started and you already look like you’re over it.”
The echo of a gun pierced the air. You cringed slightly.
“I don’t know if I’m over it or not. I guess I’m thinking about how I’ll ever suppress witnessing senseless murder, y’know?”
The boy gently stuck his arm out, across the glove compartment, his thumb stroking your cheek for a fond moment.
“We don’t have to hang around. I can drive up to the field where we’ll be away from the worst of it. What do you want, baby?” He asked.
You scratched at your knuckles and puffed through your nose. “I don’t even know what I want. Am I supposed to feel this way?”
Mingyu raised an eyebrow, “what way?”
“Melancholic, sorta like everything seems pointless. How do you feel?”
Mingyu took a wide turn to avoid a collection of smashed bottles that glinted on the road, increasing the vehicle’s speed steadily as the chaos increased. Like your first Purge, you saw the distant glow of burning buildings appear across the lake, at the other side of the city.
“I don’t even know if I can describe it anymore.” He shrugged.
You turned your head to look at him, deciding to ask something rather abrupt, but a topic you were curious on nonetheless. 
“Why did you start purging?”
The boy’s canines pushed into his bottom lip as he probed his mind.
“Because I was friends with someone who wanted to. Even involving yourself once makes enemies. You can’t hide from it after that.” 
Staring at the side of his face, you felt almost dirty for knowing a pivotal piece belonging to Mingyu’s past.
“Were you friends with Junhui?”
There was a thick silence as you waited for Mingyu’s response.
“At one point, yes.” He admitted, his words sounding distasteful. 
You shifted up in the seat, stretching out your hand to rub Mingyu’s bicep. 
“I don’t care if you were. I know you aren’t the same as him, and that this night changes people. You don’t let it consume you like he does.”
Mingyu took a turn through a wide alleyway to avoid a hostile situation escalating at the far end of the intersection. You didn’t get a good look as the sky was continuing to lose its orange light, but the flash of the group’s masks and weapons was convincing enough to take a different path.
You couldn’t help but note that Mingyu’s eyes had become slightly watered.
“It was never about purification,” he told you, “I never had any specific target, or someone I detested. Neither did Jun. But he comes from a family that relies on purging as their income. His mom designs weapons and his dad works for some underground branch, assigning bounties. He just isn’t the same as us. I was lucky if I could even hold a gun in my hands without trembling. I had to learn how to desensitize myself. For Jun, it was almost natural.”
A familiar sickness made your stomach twirl.
“It’s sad he had to grow up like that.” You sighed, glancing out the window whilst Mingyu remained silent. 
A few minutes later, and you were laughing. “I didn’t mean to make the mood so terrible. I was just wondering.”
“I know,” Mingyu said, his lips curling warmly, “I can’t blame you for being curious, baby. I just don’t think back on my past all that much.”
He then gave you a thoughtful look, and your chest started fluttering embarrassingly fast. “I like focusing on right now, where I have you.”
It was quiet again, to which you let your thoughts roam astray. 
You pictured the night your father disappeared, the night your mother’s life was taken away from her when she wasn’t even capable of defending herself. The feeling of coming down the stairway to broken glass, spilt moonlight, and a dirtied face lugging her away couldn’t be compared to any pain. And daring to unlock that enraged, bitter half of yourself, you thought to applying pressure on the trigger that killed the man responsible for her death.
Those memories influenced your appreciation, your gratitude, toward Mingyu, the boy who you had always admired at a distance, never knowing he could be so tender and benevolent. It was possible that you could have turned out similar to Junhui if you let your indignation take control. Seeing how Mingyu always remained so grounded helped you keep your footing, and you hoped there never came a day when you started looking at the world how Junhui did.
All of sudden, your musing was shattered when a pick-up truck roared from an alleyway and soared into the street, plumes of grey smoke pumping from its pipes as the tires screeched against the asphalt.
”Mingyu, watch out!” You screeched, gripping the steering wheel.
At the same time, Mingyu veered away from the truck, your heart nearly tearing a hole right through your chest as the head of your vehicle rammed into a light post. The collision jolted your body forward, though the seatbelt kept you strapped in and unscathed. Mingyu cursed through his teeth.
“Fuck, are you okay?” He rasped.
“I-I’m fine. Let’s just get the hell out of here.” You replied shakily.
Mingyu’s facial expression relaxed for less than a second. He appeared ready to oblige, though casting another inspection into his features relayed a nauseating truth. Suddenly, Mingyu’s hand gripped the back of your neck and he forced your head down between your legs. You heard it, the crisp echo of a gunshot. Except there was no bullet that punctured the glass and made fragments rain over your body. There was no dent in the metal door either. The barrel was purposely aimed to a different area, and as the second shot fired off, you felt like passing out.
They’re shooting at the tires.
Mingyu whispered to you with a coarse urgency, “this way!”
He’d managed to open his door, your only choice of escape a labyrinth of alleyways that lay beyond the mangled car. The alleys were dark, damp, and most likely rife with impending danger. Your throat closed in when you attempted to swallow. You could see the blade that Mingyu had collected from the console, already tight in his hand. Licking your leathered lips, you squirmed out his side after he’d gone through. He was squatted down, waiting for you.
Just as you joined him, you cast a glance above Mingyu’s head, your blood turning into ice as a slim figure appeared around the back end of the car. It was a man, dressed in a black raincoat, long and glossy. He was wearing a dirtied, white mask, where kohl paint was runny down the large eyes and the mouth was outlined in a red marker. Next to his side was the long barrel of a shotgun, and you felt unimaginably dizzy. Mingyu immediately identified the terror that leaked into your gaze, and with a thick gulp, he dared stare over his shoulder.
“Hey Mingyu,” the stranger mumbled, taking the pointed chin of the mask and tipping it upward, revealing a fox-like face, “long time no see.”
Mingyu wrapped his fingers around your hand and stood up slowly, ensuring your body was sheltered by his size. You breathed as quietly as your vandalized chest would allow, your diaphragm keening to erupt. 
“Wonwoo?” Mingyu echoed, “I haven’t seen you in ages!”
“Didn’t mean to scare you or anything.” The boy said, his voice very deep and smooth. The depth reverberated in your chest and made your skin crawl.
“Are you crazy, dude?” Mingyu growled. “You shot out my fucking tires.”
Wonwoo scratched the nape of his neck. “I was just following orders.”
You had no idea what was happening. The only piece of concrete knowledge that hadn’t been fogged over in tangible fear was that you could still hear incessant firing in the distant, chaotic screaming and rioting. Looking down to the blade that glinted in Mingyu’s palm, you were able to plant a little reassurance in yourself knowing of his skill and ability to stay grounded. Keeping your mouth shut, you held Mingyu’s hand in a vice grip.
“Following orders from who? What are you talking about? Are you wired?”
“It’s understandable you would think that,” Wonwoo sighed, “but I’m not. If I were though, your death might be a little easier.”
“Since when are you supposed to kill me?” Mingyu sounded flat out bewildered.
It was then that it dawned on you: Mingyu really had no idea Wonwoo was still a part of Junhui’s brigade. 
Grinding your teeth together in contemplation, you finally decided to swallow the grain in your throat and break the truth. Getting close to Mingyu’s ear, you whispered to him what you knew, no matter how much of a fable it may be perceived as. Visibly, his body stiffened. His fingers gripped the blade’s handle with an unprecedented rage. 
“What are you doing?” Mingyu implored, candor in his despair. “Even after what he did to Minghao? What the hell is holding you to him?”
“It’s nothing personal, but as you know already, Junhui is filthy rich,” Wonwoo gloomed, cocking the barrel once more, “and he’s promised me some things.”
Mingyu clenched his jaw. “You mean more of those drugs he keeps stealing from his dad’s lab? Wonwoo, what the fuck happened to you? The last time I heard from you, you were getting clean, you were going to start fresh!”
There was an unorthodox twinkle in his black stare, oddly full of emotion, hurt, repressed pain that cut deeper inside than out. 
“I tried,” Wonwoo stated, a slight anger tainting his voice, “I went to three different rehabilitation clinics. I took a vacation to the rural springs and received lessons in guided meditation and bought myself a journal so I could document my success in getting clean. And you know what? I haven’t touched that journal since the day I fucking bought it. Tell me, Mingyu. How the fuck am I supposed to care about staying clean, how the fuck am I supposed to care about anything when I saw the love of my life get fucking shot right in front of me?”
Mingyu shook his head in disbelief, “Wonwoo, I--, I know that was horrible, I know that hurt you and--”
“Just shut up,” the elder interrupted flatly, “maybe today I’ll actually feel something when I put this barrel between your eyes.”
It was impossible to stand by and remain silent. Chewing on your bottom lip, you gathered a modicum of courage and poked your head around Mingyu’s shoulder.
“So you’re going to kill us just because Junhui wants you to? That’s how you’re going to live the rest of your life? Listening to his psychotic fantasies about purification and entitlement?”
Wonwoo narrowed his eyes at you, his jaw taunt.
“I know you loved Minghao, I know your life hasn’t felt the same since. Minghao was Mingyu’s best friend too. You weren’t the only one who lost somebody. Do you think when I came downstairs at fourteen years old and saw my mother get pulled away through the window that I wasn’t upset, angry, confused at the world? Junhui just sees you as a pawn to delegate the matters he doesn’t want to dip his hands into, but you’re a real person. Wake up and act like it!”
For even just a fraction of a second, Wonwoo’s shoulders slumped, his finger that was feathering the gun’s trigger drifted from contact, and the stoic cloud in his eyes fuzzed a little. You were starting to feel confident. Yet just as easily as the feeling came to you, you were caught off guard by an arm that slid around your neck and lurched you backward, against a hard chest.
Mingyu barked immediately, his blade drawn and eyes wildly dilated as he turned to face the person responsible for holding onto you. Biting the inside of your mouth, you squirmed and thrashed and kicked, until something cold pressed into your temple and suddenly the energy evaporated from your body like dew droplets on an August day. 
Mingyu’s voice sounded rusty as he gaped again. “Jihoon?!”
Wonwoo piped up suddenly, and his eyes turned cold once more. “Be careful, dammit. She’s the one we can’t afford to bruise up.”
Jihoon’s arm was now wrapped around your neck, pressing against your windpipe and causing your air supply to falter. You knew it was a gun that was poking sharply into your temple. 
Mingyu’s gaze was wild and rife with fire. He growled between his teeth like a wolf. “Don’t even fucking think about it, Jihoon.”
Wonwoo stepped forward and shook his gun at the boy who was closing off on your breathing. “Junhui wants that one,” he pressed the snout of his weapon into your chin, “alive.”
Jihoon sulked, his voice rumbling in his chest, “So what’s our fun tonight? We kill Mingyu and then pack up?”
You wriggled again in Jihoon’s arms, tempted to gnaw right into his wrist. “Can we not kill anybody?!”
“Calm down,” Wonwoo instructed, “I hate shouting. If any of you shout I’m planting a bullet in your brain.”
“You’re such a bore,” Jihoon whined, pressing into your windpipe with more force, painting speckles of white across your vision. Mingyu was bubbling with rage, like a teapot left on the burner for too long, his teeth clamping down so tightly his whole face was aching.
Wonwoo used the muzzle of the gun to tip your chin toward the moonlight. “A word of advice. Stop struggling and you won’t get hurt.”
“H-He’s hurting me,” you attempted to coherently spit past the pressure concocted against your throat. Jihoon was issuing enough force to make your eyes water and your head spin. Mingyu piped up, but Wonwoo was swifter and beat him to it.
“Lighten your grip.” He told Jihoon.
“I’m not even holding her that tightly!” The boy protested. Wonwoo’s face didn’t crack. He just repeated himself with an underlying menace.
“Lighten. Your. Grip.”
“It’s all pretending! Can’t you see? They’re trying to distract you so Mingyu can shove that blade through your back. Don’t be so fucking soft, Wonwoo. Look! I’m hardly touching—“
Bang.
Wonwoo dug his gun right into Jihoon’s forehead and pulled the trigger, the strict barrier against your throat immediately releasing. A fresh gulp of air hastily entered your lungs as you stumbled, Jihoon’s body folding onto the sidewalk from the corner of you eye. Mingyu quickly caught you, cupped your face in his hands and wiped the beaded sweat at your forehead. He kept whispering to you that you were okay, repeated the words in a soothing, husky mantra, his thumbs stroking your jaw in comforting sweeps. The ringing in your ears was unfathomably painful, it stung and stung and stung.
“Well,” Wonwoo announced with a despondent sigh, setting the gun over his shoulder, “I really do hate yelling.”
Mingyu’s kissed your forehead briefly. Your lips were still dry and they struggled to form a word of thanks to Wonwoo. The boy shrugged.
“He was holding you kind of tightly.”
Mingyu gasped, “no fucking kidding.”
Wonwoo sighed. “I guess I don’t expect to live much longer now that I’ve gone and wasted my companion here with my last few bullets. Not to mention I have  prolonged the existence of your life, Mingyu, which I was strictly ordered not to do. It was nice to meet your little partner in crime too.”
“What are you talking about?” Mingyu questioned whilst gathering you into his side.
“I didn’t follow through on my order. I can’t bring myself to do it. ” Wonwoo mumbled. “We’ll catch up in the afterlife or something. Maybe where you’re going is different than where I’m about to go. You’ll probably be with Minghao while I deservedly rot. One of life’s many mysteries, right?”
There wasn’t much of an opportunity to process the situation, not when a gunshot echoed from down the alleyway and pierced the boy in his temple. The shotgun clamped in his hand clattered against the cold, concrete sidewalk, and his mask clattered off his head. His body joined the likes of Jihoon who’d been staring up at the night sky with dead, glazed eyes, a trail of red leaking down his nose. Your head pivoted and you felt a surge of vomit climb to the back of your mouth, for the person behind the trigger was Yang Yeeun, her pearl earrings flashing against the silver moonlight.
“Horrendous.” Her accent was thick with venom, heels clicking down the alleyway as she stalked in her black trousers and white dress shirt.
Intimidation sweltered against your skin at just her attire. The fact she dressed expensively for the night proved she wasn’t expecting to get in any confrontation that would result in her own blood being spilt.
“I expected Jihoon to cause trouble, but not Wonwoo. He was so promising. I guess he really did need drugs to stay sane.”
She stepped over a corpse you hadn’t noted lying face down in the alley, growling between her teeth.
“Filthy,” Yeeun remarked without a grain of empathy, “nothing but filth.”
Mingyu gripped your wrist and you felt your body stumble behind him. Keeping your arms drawn against his back and softly breathing, you inhaled the musky scents of damp, nighttime air and car exhaust. Though you couldn’t directly see Yeeun, her voice was still audible, lacquered in such a feigned delicacy it reminded you of Junhui. Mingyu hadn’t said a thing. He didn’t have to speak for you to know his heart was decaying.
“There’s my sweet boy.” Yeeun cooed. She was close now, so close you peered between Mingyu’s legs and saw her shiny heels standing in blood spatters. 
She regarded Mingyu like they were still together, like they still reflected the image of romance that was envied by so many people, you included. Her arm extended, pale, numb fingers brushing along his amber cheek. You wanted to scream at her to never touch him again. It was her own mistake to let Mingyu go, when he was positively in love with her and preached their future with honeyed words, like an artist who preaches with paint.
“You know, I miss you,” she hummed, tracing the flint of his jaw, “I’m so terribly sorry you had to witness your old best friends get a bullet to the brain, but, that is what happens when tensions are high, and, you know, we can’t afford to let many errors slip past us. Now, let’s not let that put a damper on the night. It’s still young, and so much has yet to happen. How about you come with me?”
You knew there was a handgun she was keeping pressed to her leg right now, and that if neither of you complied, it would be put to good use. Mingyu hadn’t opened his mouth. His lips were tight and his eyes were concentrated. Maybe he was trying to scheme.
Yeeun stretched out her gun and let the muzzle clink with Mingyu’s knife, trying to push the weapon from his hand.
“Just drop this and follow me, sweetheart. Due to these unforeseen events, there’s been a change and your presence has been urgently requested.”
Quicker than expected, Mingyu complied. He let the blade untwine from his grasp and rattle against the ground. If he did have some sort of plan, you were hoping that giving up his only weapon was part of it.
“She can come too,” Yeeun purred, “Junhui wants to see both of you.”
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Yeeun trudged behind you, her weapon drawn, a manicured nail feathering upon the trigger just in case one of you attempted something of trickery. Tall, grimy buildings surrounded you, leading up to the black sky, where the stars gazed down in lamentation. Mingyu’s fingers were wrapped around your wrist with such steely strength that you felt your circulation dwindle, though the tiny, tingling feeling would never surpass the fear that sat like a pound of tar in your stomach. Similar to your first purge, tears pushed at your ducts, though there was a certain exhaustion shrouding your body that prevented them from falling.
Despite your unstable condition, the possibility of death snickering right in your face, the wavering thought that either Junhui or Yeeun could imbue a torturous fate, you were worried about Mingyu.
Yeeun was playing him expertly. She knew it wasn’t her heart that cracked after their breakup, it was Mingyu that suffered independently.  Only he bit the nail, only he felt the salt mix with his wounds, and only he would welt in self-contemplation over a love that he nurtured, alone. If it came down to it, and your life was on the line, would Mingyu hesitate? Would he be afraid of hurting someone he used to treasure so dearly? You didn’t doubt his affections for you. His heart was strong, but what if Yeeun’s deceit was stronger?
The labyrinth of alleyways had finally led you to a dead end. Your wrist shook in Mingyu’s grasp, for the man nonchalantly leaning against the solid wall was none other than—
“Junhui,” Yeeun cawed, “you won’t believe what the fuck just happened. Wonwoo popped Jihoon. He’s dead, should have brought more crew instead of displacing them like we did.”
She finished her sentence by fitting her gun right snug at the back of your head.
Junhui spat onto the floor before he unstuck himself from leaning against the wall, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his dark trench coat.  
“It doesn’t matter,” he dismissed, “using Wonwoo and Jihoon was a squander anyways. I could have concluded both their lives at a much more efficient pace. I’m guessing you took care of the traitor?”
Yeeun cackled, “right though the side of his head. He fell like a stack of cards.”
“It’s a real disappointment,” Junhui huffed, “since the beginning Wonwoo and Jihoon have shown the utmost loyalty for me and my craft. But, I guess this just demonstrates how purifying this device truly is. We’re ridding the streets of scum, aren’t we?”
Mingyu released your wrist, and you felt like a bomb had just dropped to the soles of your feet. His lips parted and his voice was deep. Hearing him speak allowed your heartbeat to calm, even with Yeeun’s gun taunt into your hair.
“The streets will never be rid of scum until you’re over and done with.”
Junhui cocked his head, his mouth falling open and his eyes twinkling as though a tiny flame had ignited in their inky depths.
“And here is the biggest traitor of them all!” 
Junhui tossed his head back and ludic laughter echoed into the compressing air, “how do you suppose you’ll rid me, Mingyu? Are you going to give me another black eye? Curse at me? Damn me to hell and back because of what happened that night? Damn me behind my back because I took Yeeun away from you? The girl you once loved and valued with your every essence?”
It was then that Junhui shifted his sights on you, his lips pulling wide in a smile.
“I’m not sure if you’re aware Mingyu, but your partner and I exchanged a very compelling conversation a while ago. I guess word never got around to you.”
Junhui’s boots dragged over the crumbs of dirt and asphalt that littered the ground, his presence nearing closer and closer. When you tried to lower your head, Yeeun’s gun pressed with a stricter force into your scalp, filling you with enough fear to keep your gaze straight.
“You’re very fortunate, Mingyu. To have such a pretty thing to call your own.”
Junhui’s hand reached for your chin. His touch was colder than the dark shadows that masked his soul, and it engendered a shiver to slither along your spine. 
“Don’t put your hands anywhere near her!” Mingyu seethed, to which Yeeun instantly switched her gun to point against the back of his skull.
You could see his jaw clench from your peripheral vision. But Junhui didn’t listen, and his thumb pushed down on your bottom lip as though he intended to brand your skin with his insanity. He spoke lowly, smoothly, confidence lathered into his every syllable.
“Do you know why I did it?” Junhui stared into your eyes and asked.
“Dd-did w-what?” You warbled.
“It wasn’t because I was jealous of Wonwoo and Minghao, or because I had some personal contention against the boy. I didn’t even think when I pressed the trigger. I spent the whole night adding so much blood to my hands, that the moment I saw another shadow move, my body just - it just acted for me. Like it was an instinct. I wasn’t sad... But I wasn’t happy. I only knew I was no longer myself... I was someone stronger, someone enhanced, and that is the greatness of this evening!”
Junhui clutched your shoulders and shook them, his eyes alight with a certain derangement that petrified you to your core.
“You’re reborn! Don’t you get it? You’re no longer tied down by the concept of goodness, and your free will is truly free. When will you two realize that--”
Out of nowhere, Mingyu shoved into your side so aggressively you stumbled sideways and collapsed on the sooty ground. The air was knocked from your lungs and your heart pumped like it had been electrocuted. Fuzzy splotches of colour coalesced before your watered vision, projecting nothing but an obnoxious blur. There was shouting, the loud crack of a harmless gunshot, and scuffling that emanated from every direction. Before you could separate the blacks from the blues, something cold wrapped around your wrist and dragged you backward. Then, your entire body was thrust up against the brick, scrapes and bruises already forming on your bare skin.
When your head stopped spinning and the world dulled down from reflecting three versions of the same image, you were shuttering, whimpering, as Junhui held you firmly against the wall.
Across the alleyway you could see that Mingyu had Yeeun pressed to the floor, his palm covering her throat whilst he took advantage of his weight to keep her slim frame still. He fought to unwind the firearm from her fingers, but when he did, the weapon was digging into her forehead. You wanted to scream at him to pull the trigger, to fucking end her already, even if your throat felt like it had been scraped of all moisture and scrubbed with a pad of steel wool. You heard Junhui snicker, his mouth twisted cynically. It was evident what he was thinking, for it was identical to your own thought.
“Like hell you’ll do it!” Junhui screamed.
If it came down to it, and your life was on the line, would Mingyu hesitate?
Love. It was just as much a weapon as it was a comfort. And as Mingyu stared down at Yeeun, silver pearls of water slipping from her brown eyes, the eyes he had fallen for, you felt consumed by terror, that your life may truly end at this exact location. Mingyu proved your doubts were transparent and his finger jammed against the trigger. Except – there was nothing, nothing at all. The gun had no ammunition left. Yeeun sighed heavily.
“Don’t do this,” she mewled, still wriggling beneath him, full-fledged tears pumping down her flushed, scarlet face, “I never meant to hurt you. It’s just – you wouldn’t understand why – he didn’t leave me any choice!”
Mingyu released his ironclad grip over her throat and used his fingers to sweep the stray hairs from her eyes.
“Shut your fucking mouth.” He abruptly snapped. “You lie through your teeth like it’s the only thing you’re good for. You don’t love anyone or anything. I bet you lost that silver spoon you were born with, huh? Daddy’s security systems aren’t as bulletproof as he thought they were? So you had to run to Junhui?”
She gargled slightly on her own saliva, coughing a bit of foam, though she never tried to respond.
Mingyu lifted Yeeun’s head in his hands. Squeezing your eyes shut didn’t make the snapping noise any less gruesome. If anything, it only amplified the sickness building in your gut, it only amplified Junhui’s enraged storm of cursing as his companion’s body went limp, her eyes stained with not even a smidgen of regret. If there was any regret at all, it was that she couldn’t have killed you herself. Hope began trickling back into your body, and, taking advantage of Junhui’s distracted vacancy, you attempted to give him a swift kick.
And yet that thought was a mistake in itself. Junhui lost his composure, his sophistication.
Your struggling only encouraged the anger spilling inside him, prompted him to uncover a blade that was hidden inside his coat, its silver gleam reflecting off your eyes for a millisecond before you felt its sharp edge nuzzle into your skin, somewhere around your stomach. A surge so violent and unbridled soared through your body, forced you to lean over the blade where your eyes soaked up the unholy sight of Junhui’s knuckles pale as snowflakes wrapped around the handle. You spluttered out nothing but air, watched as dark liquid began seeping from the wound and wetting your shirt.
Junhui took it upon himself to slowly, ever so slowly, extract the knife from its crevice, his teeth grinding together as just the point remained in your flesh. Then, he dug the blade back in through its opening, giving the weapon a slight twist. 
When Mingyu had risen from Yeeun’s corpse and tore Junhui away from you, a silent sob wobbled off your lips. At some point that your mind was too fogged to remember, you were sitting, slumped against the wall as thick, grey storm clouds crowded the night sky. When you could no longer find solace amongst the stars, your gaze flitted across the alleyway, to where Junhui and Mingyu were a vicious tangle of limbs that punched and kicked and pulled. It reminded you of the party, the stupid party that had somehow preluded your path to cross with Mingyu’s. They were shouting at one another, at war for Junhui’s knife that kept slipping from their grasps like butter.
Wincing, you stretched an arm to fold over your stomach, attempting to apply even the meekest amount of pressure to your wound. Your brow furrowed when something hard nudged against your arm, a harsh weight that seemed to sit inside your jacket.
Well, it wasn’t your jacket, it was Mingyu’s.
Chewing down on the inside of your mouth, you ignored the pain that cut through your every nerve and fought to wind your hand within the jacket, fingers poking and shuffling around until they brushed the pocket stitched to the inside. Despite your battered condition, you nearly yelped when you gripped the handgun, the same gun that you’d used to practice your aim in the fields. There was not a moment to squander, nor a moment to think. Your whole body screamed as you drew the weapon from its pouch, fingers slippery with blood as you fought to turn the safety off.
Your entire arm shook like a brittle leaf in mid-autumn, yet you still held the gun forth, your head banging, your vision blurred, bile pushing and stinging against your throat. Junhui had Mingyu pinned to the grit, his boot heavy on Mingyu’s wrist. Raised in the air was the knife, stained with red globs of your blood. It was just like the party, except it wasn’t a tiny glass shard sealed between Junhui’s fingers. It was a literal hacking device. There was nothing you could do to stop your arm from shaking. You had no more ammunition apart from the bullet left in the gun.
What if I miss, what if I miss Junhui and hit Mingyu? What if I hit Junhui but it isn’t enough to stop him? I don’t think I can do this. I can’t I can’t I can’t—
“So,” Junhui barked, his vocal chords strained and hoarse, “where’s your little guardian angel now, huh? If it weren’t for your girlfriend fucking getting in the way two years ago, you would have had it, Mingyu. But now there’s no one to save you. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this moment. Finally, I’m entitled to purge how I’ve always wanted.”
The tears finally erupted from their ducts, streaming down your dusted cheeks and dripping at your chin. You felt like a child, a blubbering infant.
But it wasn’t worth it to lose Mingyu.
You weren’t entirely sure what happened when you sucked back the distracting binds of your self-doubt and clamped the trigger down. It didn’t register that the bullet had struck Junhui’s head until his body collapsed off of Mingyu’s lap, lying lax on the pebbles like a sack of flour. It didn’t register that you had saved Mingyu’s life until the first few cold splashes of rain thumped against your forehead, dampened your lashes, and trickled along your scuffed flesh. The gun dropped from your fingers and the whole world went black.
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The next time you awoke, you were faced with a pair of glimmering, penny eyes that rapidly blinked, tiny crinkles mapping along wet, amber skin. An instant pain jolted into your gut when you attempted to fidget, and a whine nearly tore itself from between your cracked lips.
“Don’t try to move,” you heard a rough voice, “stay still as best you can.”
“Mingyu?” You croaked, reaching upward to stroke his cheek. 
His fingers coiled gently around your wrist, bringing the scars that were carved like ancient hieroglyphics to his lips. The second he pressed kisses to the old wounds, you smiled.
“You have no idea how happy I am to see you awake,” he rasped, his eyes soft, gleeful, “you fucking saved me, y’know? It’s because of you I’m still here, still breathing. All because of you.”
Your face scrunched in confusion.
“Wait… So, I’m not… dreaming?” 
Despite Mingyu’s earlier advisement to stay still, you forced your body upward, though you faced immediate repercussions as a jarring bolt struck you in the stomach. Mingyu attempted to make you relax once more, but you refused to listen to his cooing. Distant thunder rolled in the distance, and you could see a pale glow beaming behind the flossy clouds that shielded the sky. Seven o’clock was probably on the brink of arrival. You were still in the alleyway. Casting a glance toward your new wounds, you noticed that Mingyu had wrapped his jacket tightly around your waist.
“Now would be a good time for lots of gauze, right?” You smiled.
Mingyu settled his palm delicately at the back of your neck and pushed your lips together, a smile slowly dancing along his mouth as he felt your fingers thread through his locks. Just like Mingyu had predicted, a misty rainfall was spraying from the early morning sky, infinitesimal droplets of glass sitting upon his skin as though he were a springtime rose. You kissed his lips again, and again, and again, until the pain in your stomach became too much of a distraction and your head was falling to the crook of his neck. Stealing a glance around the alleyway, you couldn’t help but notice that Junhui and Yeeun’s bodies had been laid beside each other.
You thought about what Wonwoo had said.
Maybe where you’re going is different than where I’m about to go. One of life’s many mysteries, right?
Well, at least Junhui and Yeeun would share an eternal fate in the one place they truly belonged, and it wasn’t exactly a mystery where that place was either.
“Mingyu,” you reached for his shirt and gave it a small tug.
He peered down at you through the fanned arch of his lashes.
“Are you still in a lot of pain, baby? I wish I could take it all away from you. I’m sure the medical services will be here soon, I promi—“
“I love you.”
Mingyu stuttered over the humid air. “O-Oh – I, um, I – I love you too… But, I think you already knew that.”
A molten blush crawled up from the column of his neck and flushed throughout his face akin to a raspberry burn. Though it ached to giggle, you couldn’t evade in doing so, your eyes turned to crescent moons as more golden splashes of dawn light ebbed through the clouds. Somewhere in the distance, you no longer heard gunshots, incoherent slurs, riots and the skid of tires creating friction against pavement. You heard the whirr of emergency sirens and helicopter wings, medical services beginning to flood throughout the city like a creek. It was over. Mingyu was still tangible, warm, smiling whilst he pressed kisses against your forehead.
You don’t know how, but you survived the chaos, you survived Wonwoo and his ludic friend, Jihoon. You survived Yeeun and you survived Junhui.
You survived the Purge together.
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✎ a/n: ugh. this is just one of those fics where you become v attached to the characters. i was able to write this quicker than expected (MINUS THE STUPID TWIST THAT STUMPED ME) bc i was truly invested in the plot, and i rly adored every moment of it. actually, this fic was supposed to be posted ages ago, i think last year? but last year was terrible in terms of my health and wellbeing, so i kinda forgot this fic existed as i went on my hiatus. anywho, in my opinion, the first purge film was the best.
i haven’t watched any of the newer purge movies tho, so they could be good! since im a horror/thriller fan, i liked the aspect of vulnerability the purge brought and how it forced ppl to invest in their capacity for violence, especially when the ppl they loved were involved. obviously - only for the fic lmao. bruh, during a real purge i am going to lock myself in the crawl space with a blanket and some cheerios. ALSO!!!! A HAPPY ENDING!!!!!! be proud of me!!!! this was an adventure!!! i hope you can enjoy the story as much as i!! hearing ur thots is appreciated as always!
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