#(i am not saying that this is exclusive to ace people but it sure does happen lol)

[nat-20s]

Comics Jughead Jones truly one of the long-time queer-coded turned canonically queer characters of all time

[rosabell14]

The hunters of Artemis, Reyna, and Asexuality in Riordan's writing

I kinda started thinking about this since Reyna became a hunter. I could never articulate why I hated this Choice. I was asexual after all. Shouldn't I be happy about this rep? We Ace people barely get any after all. Then I realized that it's because I just didn't like the hunters as ace representation. And I didn't need to be grateful for mediocrity.

You want to know why the hunters of Artemis suck in general? And as Ace rep specifically? Because Riordan did not write them with that mindset.

Like people are so busy hailing this man as the king of representation in literature(blegh) that they forgot how heteronormative and white(sometimes racist) the original series was. Y'all really think this man was thinking about writing asexuals in the year 2007? Get real. What Riordan was doing was a white man trying to write feminism and failing (there's a reason most of his female characterization of female characters boils down to tough "not like other girls" characters who are dicks to the boys around them yet also to the girls around them if they're jealous)

Now onto the hunters.

The hunters when first presented in TTC are not a group of asexuals but rather religious celibates. Fantasy Pegan nuns if you may. The first problem arises when their ages are brought up.

"Then the archers came from the woods. They were girls, about a dozen of them. The youngest was maybe ten. The oldest, about fourteen..."

Remember, before ToA gave us Emmie and Jo, the hunters WERE all young girls. Now why in the world are they so young? Especially when in the actual myths, the hunters could come from any age whatsoever? Well the reason is a doozy.

"Are you surprised by my age?" she asked.

"Uh… a little."

"I could appear as a grown woman, or a blazing fire, or anything else I want, but this is what I prefer. This is the average age of my Hunters, and all young maidens for whom I am patron, before they go astray."

"Go astray?" I asked.

"Grow up. Become smitten with boys. Become silly, preoccupied, insecure. Forget themselves."

Hooo boy. What a way to phrase it. Going astray. Losing themselves. This kinda confirms that the reason why Artemis goes after young girls specifically is because she only wants girls who have yet to finish puberty. Girls have yet to discover their own sexuality. Now I'm not a representative of Asexuals everywhere, but I'm pretty sure most of us don't discover our sexuality at the age of ten. Let alone have the maturity to decide to become celibates about it. And let me reiterate: celibacy is not sexuality. Sure asexual people CAN choose to be celibates but it's not the same thing at all. In fact Zoe and Thalia are big cases for this. Both of them had liked men before(herakles and luke) but joined for their own reasons. Thalia to escape the prophecy and Zoe out of heartbreak. Hell, Bianca herself is mostly swayed by the idea of having no responsibility and a new family.

Now Rick does another thing that goes against the myths. The exclusion of make hunters. Artemis frequently hung around or taught male hunters who respected her. Daphnis, Scamandrius, freaking Hippolytus whom Artemis greatly cared about. Oh but we need to come up with bullshit reasons why Nico can't just join the hunt with his sisters so the hunters of Artemis are all: Ewww men. Also note how at no point does Riordan mention people who fall in love with women.

Now the next point is the oath itself. Artemis says this:

"What oath?" I said.

"To forswear romantic love forever," Artemis said. "To never grow up, never get married. To be a maiden eternally."

When I tell you that Emmy and Joe were retcons . Rick was freaking INSISTENT on the hunters being kids. Also note the three points: to never fall in love, to never get married, to stay a maiden.

I mean I think I don't need to explain why obsessing over the virginity of young girls is creepy. Does Riordan think girls older than fourteen can't keep it in their pants? And let me be adamant here Riordan only cares about the virginity Clause here. He mentions falling in love and marriage because he sees them inherently intertwined with sex.

Now onto the wording of the oath itself:

'I pledge myself to the goddess Artemis. I turn my back on the company of men, accept eternal maidenhood, and join the Hunt.'

I mean you might be able to interpret men here as mankind and therefore excluding women as well. But I have many reasons to believe that Riordan didn't even CONSIDER women as a possibility(someone inform this man that lesbians existed smh 😞). Also note that falling in love is not mentioned in the actual oath but maidenhood is.

Now onto the next big issue. Percy Jackson's Greek gods and its chapter on Artemis. It basically confirms all of my problems.

"IT’S NOT THAT ARTEMIS HATED ALL MEN, just most of them. From the moment she was born, she knew one critical fact: Guys are kinda gross."

No mention of girls. In this chapter Percy(Rick) brings up Artemis' disdain for dudes over and over again.

“Let me be a maiden forever, Father,” Artemis said, twirling her finger in Zeus’s beard. “I never want to get married.---- But you can grant me a bunch of followers: ocean nymphs, river nymphs, wood nymphs—what the heck, how about mortal girls, too? Any girls who want to join me can become my followers, as long as they remain maidens like me. They should probably make the decision when they’re about nine years old, before they get interested in boys, because after that, they’ll be all distracted and of no use to me.”

Yikes yikes yikes. Ladies and gentlemen the age has been lowered to 9. Freaking 9. Also I guess girls older than that don't need Artemis' protection then? (the real problem is that older/married girls should be out of Artemis's jurisdiction and under the protection of other gods like Hera, Hestia, and Ares. But Hestia is barely there. Hera is terrible and the Amazons also suck)

Now when I tell you that Artemis' big point was about virginity, I mean it. This actually has mythological evidence.

The myths actually DO mention what happens when female hunters fall in love. Rhodopis and Euthynicus were two hunters who offended Aphrodite by choosing a chaste life so she had Eros make them fall in love. However note that they weren't booted out of the hunters for falling in love, but rather after having sex in a cave. THAT was what Artemis took offense to.

Another myth is the story of Aura. A huntress who offended Artemis by comparing their breasts(Greek mythology am I right?). Saying that her breast were better than Artemis' because they were smaller and hey maybe that means that Artemis isn't actually a maiden. Artemis punishes her by making her lose her VIRGINITY. She goes to nemesis for revenge. Nemesis goes to Eros who makes Dionysus fall in love with Aura and when Aura refuses his advances he ties her up and... Yeah you can guess where I'm going with this.

But hey! Those myths aren't in the Greek gods book. You know which myth is? The myth of C(K)allisto. And this one angers me so much I want to chew on the drywall.

The way Riordan writes it. Zeus turns himself into Artemis, brings Kallisto's guards down with the disguise, gets close to her and then when Kallisto REJECTS Artemis' supposed advances, forces himself on her. I need to say this again. Kallisto does not fall in love, she isn't seduced, she does not break her oath. But we still need a reason for her to be yeeted out of the hunters so her lack of maidenhood it is

“You were my favorite,” Artemis said. “If you had come to me immediately, I could have helped you. I would have found you a rich, handsome husband and let you settle into a new life in the city of your choice. I would have allowed you to retire from the Hunt with honor. You could have gone in peace. Zeus’s assault was not your fault.”

Kallisto sobbed. “But I didn’t want to lose you! I wanted to stay!”

Artemis felt like her heart was breaking, but she couldn’t show it. She had rules about her followers. She couldn’t allow those rules to be broken, not even by her best friend. “Kallisto, your crime was keeping the secret from me. You dishonored me, and your sisters of the Hunt, by not being honest. You defiled our company of maidens when you were not a maiden yourself. That I cannot forgive.”

I want to slap this man so hard he flies to the opposite side of the universe. We are not here to blame victims of assault guys! Except we are! But with extra steps. If you get attacked, it's not your fault, but If you are too scared to admit the truth then you deserve to lose your only safe space and turn into a bear. Oh nooooo Kallisto DEFILED Artemis' company by being an icky non virgin. The moment you lose your virginity even if it's not your fault you get punished. But not because I'm gross but because YOU lied. How terrible! And he expects us to feel for ARTEMIS???

But rosabell! This is how things go in the myths. What was uncle Rick (bleghhhh) supposed to do? I don't know... Choose a different version of the story? There are versions were Zeus/Hera are the ones who transform Kallisto into a bear. There are versions where Kallisto actively CHOOSES to sleep with Artemis. Granted it's still assault because she's being lied to but at least then, she'd have a degree of autonomy in the events. At least Artemis could rightfully accuse her of breaking her oath. But noooo, Riordan doesn't know lesbians exist. He actively makes Zeus into a canonical Ra*ist. Why is he on the throne again?

(the fact that this book came out AFTER HoH y'all 😭)

Once again, Riordan sees maidenhood(virginity)/love/marriage as intertwined. This is NOT what being on the aroace spectrum means. You can fall in love but not have sex. You can have sex but not fall in love. You can have sex AND still be an asexual. You can be married and still be a "maiden". Riordan doesn't get to claim to be such a progressive ally for retconning the hunters in 2017, TEN years after he first introduced the hunters because he suddenly remembered that lesbians exist.

Or more like because he doesn't know what to do with his female characters. The hunters more than anything are Riordan's heroine dumping ground. If you don't want it put them in relationships, either kill them(Bianca whose main purpose is to die) or make them eternal virgins(the hunters, Rachel). The fact that some people genuinely think that Calypso should have joined the hunters astound me. Girl suffered for years because of the gods and you all think that the best thing outside of Leo for her(not that I like Caleo) is to become a servant to the gods? Because you can't perceive a female character doing anything else if she's not in a relationship. Like with Thalia, this at least made sense on a strategic level because she didn't want to reach sixteen. Oh but we also don't know what else to do with her so she needs to want to be a hunter after the war is over so we give her a half-assed argument with Luke and now she can be all: wah wah Zoe you were totally right about boys. And the cherry on the cake is that she doesn't even get to be in the final confrontation with Luke or say goodbye to him because of a freaking STATUE. And after pjo her personality becomes Zoe 2.0 and her and Jason get ONE measly meeting.

When I first spoke of not liking Renya joining the hunters this is what I mean. Riordan had so many options with Reyna. Why did she have to leave her esteemed position which she worked so hard for? Two boys rejected her? Why couldn't she go reconnect with her sister more then? She could have joined the Amazons. But nooo Riordan was so allergic to the fans asking him wether she could be Bi or a lesbian. For the stupidest reasons too? Oh Reyna being a lesbian would come off as stereotypical because she got rejected by two guys beforehand! My dude, do you think people don't say the same thing about us who are on the aroace spectrum? That we say we are aro/ace because we got rejected before? Come up with a better excuse next time.

My brother in Christ couldn't even allow Reyna to talk about her sexuality and whatnot. It couldn't even be fully about her. No. He had to turn Reyna into his own mouthpiece admonishing the EVILLLL fans who may have shipped Thalia and Renya. He literally had her say the word "shipping". How cringe can you get? And then he had the audacity to admonish the fans by saying: Why does a strong friendship always have to progress to romance?

It's a sentiment I agree with but coming from this man, it's extremely hypocritical? I don't know Richard maybe because YOU are obsessed with shipping? No character can escape your shipping hands unless they're eternal virgins or dead. You literally turned the Argo2 into Noah's ark2. So much attention focused on shipping that the seven barely felt like friends.

Why does Reyna need to join the hunters? She can choose to not relationship without having to become a servant to female Peter pan.

This is actually a really adequate metaphor when you consider that Emmie and Jo say that they have not met Artemis in YEARS and Apollo mentions that the two of them were lucky she let them LIVE. god can you imagine joining Artemis when you are 9? At an age when you have still not finished maturimg cognitively and therefore shouldn't be trusted on taking a freaking celibacy vow(were you even given the talk yet that age) and after 70 years you decide you want to leave? If you're lucky Artemis will part with you on good terms but SIKES every person you probably knew before joining is now dead. Where is THAT angsty Bianca fic?

Speaking of Bianca. How she was handled also angers me. In another post, I've already talked about how the hunters barely gave her adequate information before letting her join.

How Zoe was the main reason for her death. Zoe KNEW that at least 2 people might die in the quest she was given and yet she decided to bring the least experienced girl to the quest and couldn't even watch her properly.

But you know what else pisses me off? The fact that THEY should have been the one to tell Nico about his sister's death. I've always hated how Chiron made Percy the CHILD tell Nico the other CHILD about his sister dying. But more than anyone, it should have been the hunters' responsibility. Bianca was THEIR responsibility. She died in a quest to save Artemis. The least they could do was tell her remaining family of her fate. The Doylist reason of course is that we need to kickstart Nico and Percy's complicated relationship and have Percy discover that Nico is a son of Hades. But in universe, the fact that they immediately fuck off from the camp upon regrouping makes them come off as extremely selfish. We don't even know if Bianca was given a funeral by them or not. We see Artemis being upset about Zoe but we never see her react to the news of losing Bianca.

[inuxi]

that ask was rude of me, i should've just blocked you instead of telling you about it, i'm sorry. i'm aroace and sex+romance repulsed, and i guess i thought alastor was gonna be something i could enjoy for once like everyone else gets to without feeling like i'm intruding on a conversation i have no right to be part of. i'm on ios so i can't use browser extensions to actually get rid of all the alastor ship posts like i want, and i'm not sure my problem even has a solution short of just giving up trying, because so far i have found exactly zero blogs that are 1.) still active at all, 2.) still post about Hazbin, 3.) aren't actually 12 years old, and 4.) don't post about fucking Alastor ships. i got so excited seeing such good, recent art i haven't nuked yet considering how old every other post i can still see is, and i'm not kidding when i say i sent that ask through tears. it was rude and unacceptable either way, and i'm sorry.

i've blocked over 200 different people and i'm not exaggerating that number even a little bit. i would rather put a gun to my head and pull the trigger myself than see them so much as breathe next to each other ever again. i am so. so so so so so sick of searching and searching and searching and finding nothing.

the thing i've learned from alastor's aroace representation is that not only is the world as a whole not made to accommodate me, fandom space isn't either. i am an alien on a planet i was never made to fit into, and i don't even get to escape that through fiction like everyone else does. no amount of filtering and blocking and searching will bring into existence a community for me that simply does not exist, and it is futile for me to try. that's what this fandom has taught me.

i think the chances of me sticking around in this fandom are slim, so at least it won't be an issue for anyone else anymore. i think being excluded from conversations about an aroace character sting a lot more than just not being represented at all to be honest.

Okay, listen.

First of all, Alastor is officially an Ace, NOT an aroace. That means he can still be interested in any romantic things or finding a couple. No one is stopping you from seeing him exclusively as an aroace. But shaming people who don't share your point of view is a bad idea.

Secondly, I am an aroace artist myself. Romantic and sexual themes are virtually non-existent in my art. I can joke about it, but almost all of my drawings explore completely different things. And you come to me and try to talk about how hard it is to feel socially comfortable being an aroace? I understand your worries, but, again, trying to shame other people because they don't share your point of view is NOT a healthy coping mechanism.

Third, I have done THREE drawings in all my time that include a romanticized Alastor. Two of them were collabs, and the third was asked to be drawn by people. And these three drawings made you give up on my art, which you said you really liked?

The community is too heavily oriented towards romantic and sexual themes, it's true. People like us are often uncomfortable in that environment, that's also true. But aroace people can't just come in and ban others from having fun just because we don't find that fun or interesting.

Man, I'm not even Alastor's artist! What the kind of Alastor shipper am I? And you picked me out of a thousand people to block? Oh my God, that's as funny as it is sad.

In case you haven't looked at my art, I am a Lucifer artist. I very rarely draw Alastor, simply because I don't find him interesting enough. And because of that, I find it so funny to be labeled an “Alastor shipper”

[kyu-piddy]

Messy love triangles….

Leona x reader x riddle mayhaps⁉️

Ranking a singular twst love triangle on how messy it is

An: The more I write for Leona the more I find this man hilarious. Who knew petty men were this funny to write about?

Gn reader x Riddle, Leona

Trigger warnings: Swearing

900 words

Riddle vs Leona

There’s people that you wonder how they have beef. They’re not opposites, they’re not too similar, but there’s something that doesn’t quite click with them.

In the case of Riddle and Leona, their beef is over you.

Riddle is a fool I tell you. He might be a great student, he might be Mr perfect in anything and everything pertaining to stuff your parents would be proud of, but he is indeed a fool.

He will, very loudly and stupidly, call you his good friend to the Heartslabyul dorm while blushing up a storm as soon as you’re less than 10 feet away from him.

You were commenting in passing to Ace and Deuce how the history of magic assignment is really hard? There comes Riddle in the next morning carrying back breaking books on the topic, with sticky notes color coded to how important he thought that information was.

Did you complain about not being able to sleep properly? Riddle has brewed you a potion that is said to help sleep and prepared a brochure with every habit of yours that is making sleep evade you.

And yet he is not using the evidence to reach a sound verdict. He is instead looking pretty stupid and/or overbearing to everyone around him.

Trey and Cater are laughing their asses off at the interactions between you both.

If it was someone else it could be heavily considered that they were faking it, but it’s Riddle after all.

Mr. Lionman is, like always, emotionally constipated as hell.

Leona might be lazy as balls, but he is no idiot. He’s actually rather brilliant and also not blind, so the moment he sees Riddle interact with you, it’s on sight.

Verbally that is. Leona isn’t that trigger happy with people that he could snap like a twig.

He probably already suspected Riddle's crush on you just by hearing you talk, which he did in fact make an effort to stay awake for, but actually seeing the red short stack turn into a human prawn would piss him off sooooo bad.

This man is incredibly petty. He has never once actually tried in his classes, but seeing as that would make Riddle mad, he’s showing up at 8:00 am on the dot to every class and scoring 100 after 100 in every test he can.

Meanwhile Riddle’s jaw is glued to the floor.

He doesn’t really understand why Leona is rubbing his successes in his face, which does piss him off, but what pisses him off the most is how Leona is showing it off to you too??? How dare he!

Riddle should be the one that comes to you with his perfect tests, offering help all gentleman style.

Treys sweets are another weapon in Riddle's arsenal, but Leona is indeed a cheeky bastard that practices the age old “all is fair in love and war”.

Ruggie is going to be very busy making sure those sweets taste awful, and also trying to feed you with stuff “Leona” made.

Speaking of Trey, he’s going to have to make a decorated cake saying “You like ____” for his housewarden. Otherwise man will stay in the dark.

It is shocking news to Riddle once he figures it out, while everyone else sort of just… nods their heads and pretend it is such riveting new information.

“Trey, I have delved deep into my psyche and have reached the conclusion that my feelings for ___ aren’t exclusively platonic.”

“Oh, really now, Riddle?”

oH reALly NoW RiDdLe

Leona is also a contender for the most obvious crush on campus to those that know him.

Ruggie and Jack probably have a bet going on when Leona will confess. (Jack thinks it will be when the sun explodes. Ruggie is more akin to the hypothesis of the heat death of the universe coming first.)

Riddle is the one most likely to confess.

He believes in doing things the proper way so confessing is the way to go.

Man is redder than his hair and holding a script he wrote.

It’s really sweet actually. Riddle isn't some romantic bard of legend, but he writes down his feelings in the best way he can: with legal jargon.

Leona’s sixth sense is activating and he is running to match his rival.

Once again, metaphorically. He can’t be bothered to actually run.

He is putting his head on your shoulder, whispering into your ear…

“I know you like me, herbivore.”

Hell no! This man did not spend the time he did around you and planning how to get your attention to turn back around and say it’s you who is in love with him! Step on his tail or knee him on the groin cuz he deserves it.

For a Leona love triangle, this one isn’t that bad. I’d give it an A.

Any love triangle with two overblot boys tends to be really messed up, even after said overblot, but Leona and Riddle don’t have that much prior beef that turns the love triangle into a biohazard.

Leona will have his good ol inferiority complex to keep him company if rejected, but he doesn’t feel like he is in that much direct competition with Riddle, which spares him some of the heartache that a love triangle with Vil or Malleus would give.

Riddle will be haunted by his perfectionism and romantic stupidity if rejected, but he’s one of the more stable post overblot boys, so you don’t have much to fear. Probably.

[schizosamwincester]

Happy wincest Wednesday! Do you prefer romance in your wincest or is it something else entirely? I’ve recently gotten really interested in aromantic Dean Winchester.

-@schizo-sam-winchester

Okay I assume you're sending the same question to everyone because if you don't already know that I am a big fan of aro Dean then I am not talking about it enough and I need to fix that.

I am aromantic and allosexual. I know what an aromantic allosexual looks like. An aroallo person looks like Dean Winchester. I mean not exclusively, obviously, some people who are alloaro actually do care about things that aren't sex (not me, but some) and some even have low libidos or don't like people or whatever and don't have sex at all, but like. I am alloaro and I know my people and my people is Dean Winchester.

Dean Winchester has no clue that romantic attraction is even real. Dean died thinking that romance is just when you have a friend who you also have sex with. And you know what's better than a friend? A brother. And you know who he also has sex with? His brother. So if you ask him, yeah, sure, he and Sam are dating or an item or whatever. They're a couple. They're romantic. Of course they are. They love each other, and they are together all the time, and they live together, and they have sex. Those are the requirements.

Sam, having been in actual romantic relationships, obviously knows better. He also knows Dean well enough to know that he does not do that and is simply incapable of thinking that way. In the event that he comes across aromanticism in his travels online and it isn't framed as just an offshoot of asexuality, he's going to immediately go "oh there's a word for that! Good. Good to know there are other people like Dean." He absolutely would not tell Dean about this, though. Dean barely admits to being bi. He's not going to want Sam to give him a whole other word.

(If the source in question did treat aromanticism as just being for asexuals, though? Well Sam knows damn well how his brother feels about sex, and how sexually attractive Dean finds him in particular. And queer labels and all that are decidedly not his area of interest, so if a thing says it's only for aces, he's not going to question that. The prospect of it applying to Dean just won't occur to him at all)

I do think Sam has romantic feelings for Dean, although I imagine they're a little different than what he'd feel for a partner who felt romantically back just because that lack of reciprocation does make the whole thing different. Still, I don't think they're unromantic per se? I think it's complicated. Dean is definitely aro, but I do think there are some elements of romance there. And I think Sam is down bad for Dean in every way, romantic and sexual.

But yeah, for me Dean being aro is a fundamental fact. I will occasionally bend that for my interpretations of Deanjohn, because there I can definitely see some elements of pining and that's fun, but I don't get that from wincest. Sam has always been there. He is part of Dean. How can Dean be romantically attracted to the other half of his own soul?

If I saw wincest as traditionally romantic, I would not give a shit about it. I wouldn't be here. I simply do not care about romance. There's a reason I don't ship destiel, and it's not because there's nothing there. It's objectively a very good set up for a ship. It's just that what's there is the potential for very good romance, and the second things get romantic my brain turns off.

Wincest is pure electric sexual attraction and tension, and sex? Yeah I understand sex. I like sex. My brain is about 90% sex at any given moment. I'm kind of impressed that I have so many ace friends, actually, given the amount I'm incapable of shutting up about sex.

... Like I said. I know Dean Winchester is aro because his view of sex and romance is pretty much identical to mine.

(To be fair, it is very helpful that I think all this because I am almost incapable of writing romance even if I do see things as romantic. It turns out that doesn't actually matter. If you write sexual feelings and just make the context romantic and don't say it's a purely sexual relationship, people will see the romance there anyway. You don't have to actually understand romantic feelings and how to write them. People will just project them in. Which definitely says some things about amatonormativity that aren't great, but hey, it's convenient for me.)

[mia-martian]

I wanna bring to the Death Note and Lawlight community a take that I have and rarely ever hear about.

A lot of people seem to look at or even just remember L as an unfeeling apathetic weirdo- and this is coming from people who haven't seen the anime in years or just see a couple scenes of him. And that's a fair enough assessment to make- dude is detached in his own way.

But it's really ironic when he's put next to Light Yagami, a character who I believe literally doesn't know how to love.

Not in the aro/ace way- dude doesn't even know how to love anyone platonically. He doesn't love his family, he doesn't love his friends or his romantic partners, he doesn't love anyone. If he shows any small signs of it, I am not inclined to believe it.

When his father died and he cried, it looked like the most half-assed performance to me. As if he used it to framework and test how he would act for L's death. (Edit: Apparently Soichiro's death was after L's i think? I remembered that incorrectly. But at the same time, I think he copy-pasted his fake reaction to L's death and reused it for his dad. Point is, I don't believe he even grieves sincerely.)

And I don't think the Death Note itself exclusively did this to him. Sure, it influenced him a LOT. When you find yourself in a place of power, your brain chemistry LITERALLY changes. Of course the ability to kill with almost no consequence would influence him.

But even in the Yostuba amnesia arc, even when he's doe-eyed and defending the innocent and fighting with L about the people who died for the Kira case, I am not convinced that it's the truth. I am not convinced that he isn't just saying what he was taught to say and believe by his father. I am not convinced he fully believes his own words, even subconsciously. At least in the context of the anime and manga, he is the most insincere character I have ever seen. It's nothing but bullshit coming out of his mouth.

I'd argue the Death Note only gave him a feeling of authority that caused the mask to slip off. I'd argue that he was always this lost and was just waiting for an excuse to cut to the chase on 'justice'. To build his guillotine and finally start collecting the heads he wants to put on his mantle. He is the unfeeling, apathetic and cold freak that I've seen people assume L is. All the Death Note did was foster it.

Because while L tries to be a character for the necessary evil and gray area (i.e. Lind L. Tailor), Light is just evil. He is blindly writing names and filling pages the moment he realizes that the notebook works. He is placing a bomb in his house without thinking of the risks he'd place on his kid sister or his well-meaning parents. He is manipulating women and using them like tools. I simply cannot imagine a reality in canon where Light Yagami can love.

And obviously my point isn't to say "Lawlight wouldn't work in canon !! You can't ship them !!" The canon of a story isn't some kind of divine set of rules, literally have all the fun you want. Canon isn't real. This story isn't real. Literally make it all up and turn Light Yagami into a pining, simping mess. If anything, that's justice.

But it's interesting to think about. I used to ship Lawlight so intensely. But then years later, when I rewatched the anime, my feelings changed drastically.

Now I can't fucking stand Light Yagami, and I wish the same fate he places on all his victims. As ironic as that is.

If he was a real human being, and I had the notebook in my hands, his name would be one of the first that I would write. Call that a sign of my bias.

Now I can't imagine a single scenario where Light loves L.

I mean, I think L definitely would have feelings for Light. L has shown that he has the capability to care, despite how the writers tact on things like in the How to Read manga where his line about Light being his first ever friend could've been a 'coldly thought-out strategy.' (Eye roll)

Even in the scenario that L doesn't truly consider Light a friend, he shows that he cares for people even a little bit. When a member of the task force decides to quit and leave, L says he appreciates him and makes sure he and his family are well paid and protected. When he witnesses a member die, he's shaking in fear. He is capable of being vulnerable and caring for others. He just doesn't do it often. It's half a choice to protect himself, and half his unmasked autism. (And bro IS autistic i don't gotta defend that point)

L is capable of loving Light if L allowed himself to. If that "you're my first friend" line is sincere, he's opened his heart up to a monster. And the unfortunate thing is that there is no possible way Light is reciprocating. Light is the unfeeling, lying monster, uncapable of even concieving what love feels like. Light doesn't care for other people. His motives might be driven by a sense of justice, but that is just the flavor. That's just the color that his true intentions are thinly painted over. The true intention of power. The only thing that brings him joy is the authority he believes he has over humanity.

[communistkenobi]

i know next to nothing about queer theory, but i did exist online during (what felt like) huge exclusionary periods (ace discourse, bi/pan discourse, and transmedicalism were the big ones i remember)

i wonder if the first drive for sexuality being something unchangeable and intrinsic to you had something to do with those things, that queerness was fixed and definable, which meant that there were strict lines to be drawn about who was and wasn't gay/lesbian/bi which was only made worse by trans and nonbinary people who didn't exactly fit the previous molds

ill be doubly honest and say i only interacted w/ the community online at the time bc living in a homophobic country doesnt give you a lot of opportunities to meet up in person which means my view of the whole thing is skewed. im not sure if this makes any sense

What I’m about to say isn’t a diagnosis of the causes behind those discourses (partly because i don’t think there is a single reason animating those arguments), but like I guess in general a very baseline authority people fall back on is biology. Dominant reactionary discourses describe being gay trans etc as a lifestyle choice, as an active decision to participate in sexual and gendered degeneracy, and so a very appealing counter-claim to make is to point to biology - we are born this way, we can’t help who we are just as cishet people cannot help who they are, so you should accept us because we can’t change our identity. That rhetorical strategy requires/assumes a stable sexual and gendered ontology, a primary authority of the body that can’t be altered. While I believe this argument is fundamentally flawed, I think this is a straightforwardly easy argument to make re: sexual orientation. With trans and non-binary people this is more difficult because the foundational claim to our existence is that gender is mutable, is alterable, is subject to change (and also “I’ve felt this way since I was a child” is a pathological model of gender dysphoria that is enforced through medical and psychiatric institutions, not a reflection of lived reality for many, many trans and non-binary people). That doesn’t necessarily mean being transgender is a “choice” (although if someone said they woke up one day and chose to be transgender then that is a perfectly authentic justification), especially because “choice” in these discussions is often framed as individualised, private, detached from the social world - we are all just free agents making rational autonomous decisions in a field of equally rational choices, etc. which I think is a very impoverished way to understand choice and agency. Gender is an institution, it is a set of behaviours and performances that we choose to engage in in many different ways, and my use of the word ‘choice’ there does not imply these choices are free from coercion, violence, or harm. I chose to transition, I chose to engage in performances and behaviours that signal to the social world that I am a man - where that desire to make those choices arises from is another matter, and honestly not one I’m super interested in figuring out. Like if I discovered the ‘origin’ of my transness it wouldn’t make any difference to me. Similarly, how I choose to signal masculinity is very obviously bound up in dominant gendered assumptions. Trans people get accused of upholding gendered norms a lot, but that’s only because we aren’t taken seriously unless we do so! It is a survival mechanism that allows us to better navigate incredible amounts of violence and social exclusion, and arguing that our desire to do gender with our bodies comes from some grade-school assumption that dress = woman and pants = man or whatever is pure projection on the part of cis people. cis men think if they drink pink wine they’ll become gay - trans people are not the ones enforcing these norms here.

Getting a bit far afield here, so to loop back around - I think a stable state of sexual and gendered subjectivity or “being” is very appealing to a lot of people because it’s a way to dismiss reactionary fears and to justify to yourself that your oppression is entirely out of your control (which is true obviously!). Again I think these arguments are flawed because they buy into cisgendered and heteronormative ideas about gender and sexuality, that it is a biological burden imposed on us, that deviance is not a choice, that gender is done to us as opposed to being gendered agents, that we are similarly trapped in a sexual prison and should be accepted on those grounds, etc, but they have massive rhetorical power.  

As I’ve said before I’m a pretty staunch believer in Butler’s assertion that it is social all the way down, that gender is not discoverable in the body but rather the body is the medium through which gender is done in the world. Cis people choose to do gender just as much as trans people do! The only difference is that institutional architecture is set up to facilitate and make invisible (in very misogynistic and racist ways) those gendered practices. I think the stronger counter argument to make is that cis- and het-normativities are deeply violent and miserable status quos that need to be dismantled and discarded, that true choice can only emerge vis a vis gender and sexuality once those institutions are abolished, and that choice is actually a desirable end-goal - I want people to be able to participate in gender and sexuality as free agents, as non-coercive practices that are sites of great joy and wonder and pleasure. And this world is only possible if we accept that there is no gendered or sexual ontology, that it is all smoke and mirrors, that this current system’s primary function is to reproduce the nuclear family, to maintain the hereditary nature of class and wealth and race, to provide a standardised system of labour division, to maintain a distinction between the public and private labour realms, and so on.

So again like, is this what animates discourses about who gets to be counted as lgbtq/queer/whichever label you want to use? I don’t know. Probably some of it has to do with that. Queerness is in party a pathological category that is used to describe a failure to meaningfully reproduce cishet norms and practices, it is a set of relationships you have to legal and political and medical and administrative institutions (which is especially true for trans/non binary people). I like this definition because built into it is the possibility of change - I do not want trans people to be assimilated into cishet society, I want society to become transgender, thereby making transgender an irrelevant medical and legal category of person. Much like communism aims to abolish class by universalising the proletariat, I want to abolish gender by universalising the legal and political and medical mechanisms of transition. Only then will cisgenderism be abolished.

One thing I have been thinking a lot about is something a friend said to me, which is that human rights to do not begin with a definition of human - in the same way, I think trans rights do not require a definition of transgenderism. Just universalise and de-pathologise the mechanisms through which transition is expressed. Make it easy to change your name, remove all barriers to hormones and surgery, make everyone economically secure enough that they can change their wardrobe however they please,  desegregate all gendered spaces, de-gender clothing, remove gender markers from all documents, and so on and so on. Doing so would make both cisgender and transgender an irrelevant legal and political category and, again, allow choice to emerge as a meaningful mechanism of gender expression. 

This isn’t a comprehensive policy platform, there are many things I’m sure I haven’t thought through and a large portion of this discussion has to contend with the colonial and white supremacist nature of the western binary gender (bringing us into discussions of decolonial efforts, socialist efforts, and so on), but this is already getting long and I feel like I’m rambling. But like fundamentally I believe in a radical political imaginary that argues that all of this is subject to change and therefore any arguments about an essential gendered or sexual being is, at the end of the day, a reactionary description of gender and sexuality 

[barschter000]

barok and 2, 9, and 25 for the character ask game :3

Yippie, I get to yap! Thank you :D!!

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

I love how self-sacrificial Barok is. It's tragic and terrible and I can't stop thinking about it because it says so much about how he sees himself. A vessel for "justice", for his brother, a tool protecting people who despise him and a scapegoat unworthy of justice for himself. He sees himself as so empty and devoid of value but is actually full of concern and care for others who won't (the people of London) or cannot (Klint) return his sentiment. He is so horrible to himself and he drives me so insane. Händel's He was despised is now playing in my head.

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Ough, tough question... The problem is that 1) I have this weird thing where I am ashamed to face my favorite characters after I've become obsessed with them (one of the reasons why I haven't replayed TGAA yet and why I didn't replay Danganronpa for instance in my DR phase), so unless Barok was Just Some Guy at my uni and not Barok van Zieks from hit game The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles In Real Life, I would not be able to, and 2) I am not the greatest fan of People in My House... I already struggle sometimes with sharing the kitchen with the other students who live on my floor in my dorm, so I don't think I could share a whole apartment with someone whom I'm not very close to. But that's not exclusive to Barok. Ideally, if I had to be roommates with him, we'd barely talk to other and leave each other alone but still had a sort of mutual understanding where we'd go, "Hey man, I'm going to the opera, wanna come along?" "Oh sure," and nothing else.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

I am very sorry to disappoint but I literally do not remember lmao. I played the game right after release in July 2021 during a time where Covid among other things had really fucked me up and I cannot remember much of that year in general. I didn't like him at first but I think (and hope) that's everyone's first impression of Barok because he does suck and is supposed to suck at the start. I got immediately attached to him after 2-3 though because I very easily fall for the "bad guy with a heart of gold" kinda trope. I needed some time to fully Get him consistently but I think now I have a pretty complete picture of him in my head (<- read: I have made up incredibly unnecessary details about him, my picture is more than complete.)

[lewisshipsthings]

Dungeon Meshi Sexuality Headcanons

Pre-warnings:

—SPOILERS FOR THE MANGA. I’ve finished reading the whole thing, and I’m not gonna worry about censoring. Read at your own peril!

—I multiship sometimes, and in a similar vein, I have multiple sexuality headcanons. These are the just the main vibes they give me currently.

THIS IS BY NO MEANS meant to be an objective thing. I am *totally* fine with people having different headcanons. The series ended with no sexualities confirmed, and there’s room for different headcanons even IF there were confirmed sexualities. Stories are not meant to be exclusive.

—I’m using the term pansexual to mean interest in all genders, with gender not really making a difference; and bisexual to mean interest in all genders, but gender does make a difference. I have heard this as a definition, but I’m sure not everyone uses it this way. I’m sorry if I got something wrong.

—I’m queer myself, but that doesn’t prevent me from making mistakes, so I’m really sorry if I worded something weirdly. I’m very open to corrections.

Laios: aroace spectrum, straight

I see him as mostly totally aro, and still on the ace spectrum but just a bit higher (or is it lower?). Partly this is based on the succubus scene. Partly this is just vibes.

I can see him deciding as a king that marrying and having heirs is important, and so marrying a woman who is independent enough that she would be ok with a mostly platonic relationship. He’d probably really enjoy infrequent sex with her, and they’d be best friends who each had their own stuff going on.

I’m not entirely sure why he seems on the straight side to me, but he does.

(I recently read someone on Reddit talking about how Laios marrying the orc woman would be cool, and I now have a new rarepair. I know the orc woman wasn’t into it, but maybe if she could maintain her independence, she’d enjoy it.)

Falin: gay

Partly based on her resolute rejection of Shuro, who is quite a handsome fellow. (Obviously rejecting a handsome man doesn’t make you gay. It’s just one of the things that gives her a gay vibe to me.) Partly it’s her attitude towards Marcille. Although she isn’t my favourite character, I do see a fair bit of myself in Falin, so her being queer makes sense to me.

Chilchuck: straight

I quite like the Chilchuck/Senshi ship as well, so sometimes I like to headcanon him as bi. But honestly, most of the time he seems like an ordinary straight dude to me, especially in the succubus scene with the never ending stream of hot blondes.

Marcille: bisexual

There’s her succubus (a man) and her attitude towards Falin (a woman). I actually kind of think she leans straight, but if the right woman comes along (*cough* Falin), she’d fall deeply.

Senshi: demisexual, pansexual

He’s a tough one for me. I feel like he has the potential for a deep, slow relationship with the right person, but he’d mostly be ok without that. The pansexual part is mostly coming from some Lord of the Rings fanfics I read cantering around dwarves, where gender expression is pretty identical between male and female dwarves, and gender doesn’t seem to matter for most of them. I know this isn’t the world of Dungeon Meshi, but some of that seems to have crept into my imagination, because it influenced my headcanon of Senshi. Partly because of this, and partly because of the boob touching scene, I sometimes have a trans headcanon for him as well.

Izutsumi: aroace (with a straight cat side)

Her succubus scene seemed to say that her cat side had sexual attraction and her human side didn’t. But I think she’s too human to actually want to be with a total cat, and I think even another half beast person would be utterly uninteresting for her human side.

But for some reason, the cat that the succubus disguised itself as seemed male to me (did it actually specify? I don’t remember), so there’s like, the tiniest hint of straightness in her.

Kabru: bisexual

I see him charming the pants off both men and women and enjoying both equally. I don’t think he would go at it the same way with different genders though, and don’t see him as pan. I think he has a great capacity for friendship too, though. I mean, all the characters do. It’s a really important part of the manga. But there’s something about Kabru that I can’t quite articulate, in how I see romance, sex, and friendship interacting for him. (Maybe one day I’ll figure out how to articulate it and edit this post.)

Mithrun: past bisexual, current demisexual and pansexual

He’s an interesting case. I believe that when he lost his desires, he lost his general desires for sex and romance, just like he lost his general desire for food/sleep/etc. However, just like it’s inferred he can grow new desires for specific foods like noodles, I believe he could grow specific desires for specific people now. But he’d never be attracted to someone right off the bat, without getting attached to them slowly. Basically the textbook definition of demi. And pansexual just in the sense that he lost any gender-specific desires. Some of that could grow a bit, though, if he fell for someone.

I have no reason for thinking past Mithrun was bi, it’s just vibes, and I like the headcanon.

Minor characters:

—Shuro: straight

Because of his interest in Falin, and he just seems straight to me. I enjoy shipping him with Laios sometimes, though. Every character has potential for hidden bisexuality, for me. :)

—Namari: gay

I think she’s cool and I’d like her to be gay, plus I like the ship with her and Kiki.

—Lycion: bi

He seems jealous of Kabru with Mithrun, and calls Mithrun handsome. I could see just gay as well. But I like the ship with him and Fleki, and bi would fit well. I also feel like the body dysmorphia stuff he has going on would fit well with being trans.

—Cithis: gay

No good reason. Just selfish. She’s super hot and I want her to be gay. I don’t think she’d have an aversion to sex with men, though. It just wouldn’t be her preference.

If anyone wants to share their headcanons, feel free to reblog with them! I’d love to hear other perspectives!!

[dollypopup]

So, I wasn't gonna post anything about this, honestly, but because I was directly asked, here's my 2 cents!

First, I want to thank you for saying you trust me with this! I'm also on the ace-spectrum, and I'm a queer, bisexual woman, so I do have a lot of empathy with you and everyone else who was down for queer rep.

(Also, I do not have Anon turned on for my asks. I absolutely respect your privacy, but I've been harassed before, and if people want to come at me, they can do it with their whole chest. Similarly, if people want to come TO me, I'd love to be friends!) I want to start off with the fact that whilst I understand that you believe the article, I don't. Call it the skeptic in me, or my media literacy classes during my grad program or denial or what have you, but we live in a huge era of misinformation. A tabloid is not likely to be any kind of reliable source, and a random reddit user even less so. It's like making a balloon full of pudding and having a clown say it's helium. We're not going to know until the needle pops it. Surely, no one would ever lie on the internet.

That being said, as much as I yearned and wanted for Demi Colin to be confirmed, it's not set in stone, and so it couldn't have been taken away from us. Honestly, even being ace-spec, a lot of the HC of Demi!Colin started putting a bad taste in my mouth when I realized that a lot of this predominately cishet fandomw as doing it as a means of keeping Colin 'pure' for Penelope, and that struck me as incredibly acephobic. Sure, they were HCing him as one of us. . .but not because it fit with his character or provided a rich and interesting arc for him to explore, but more so that his identity was an extension of their hopes and wants for Penelope. It wasn't for him as a character, but for him as a prize. And that made me so very sad, so my dream of Demi!Colin died when I saw that happening so frequently. Us Demi and Ace folks deserved better than that, and we continue to.

Either way, I think you are absolutely allowed to feel your disappointment! This is a frustration safe zone! There was a lot of potential this season, especially for Colin, that I feel has been dropped. But even IF that article contains some truth (big, heavy IF). . .idk, I see it through the lens that lot of us Demi folks have had sex. Even no strings attached sex. I know I have. Was I disassociated from it for a lot of the time? Yeah. Was it satisfying? No. But did it happen? It did. I chose to take part in it, and they were experiences that helped me grow. And I am no less Demi for it! IF this article is true, instead of us freaking. . .I feel like it could tell us a lot about Colin's character.

He is a man who has had, largely, no good role models in his life. Not in this regard. Who does he have to guide him? Anthony? Literally said he should have taken Colin to brothels. Benedict? Hell, he had a threesome himself. Why wouldn't Colin be out here thinking 'This is what Men do, this is what my brothers do, why not?' Colin is young. He's 23 still trying to find himself. And the entire idea of 'oh, he's a nerd! no way he's had threesomes' lol, like nerds aren't kinky? Come on, I'm a nerd and I've done way more than people would assume I have. He was traveling for months, and I think this really isn't as huge a deal as we're making it out to be. I ship Polin exclusively, and I love the idea of them having their firsts together, but I'm also not angry otherwise. In my mind, he's still demi. Just like he'll always be ND, even if it isn't confirmed.

Sidenote, o want to touch on something that is somewhat unrelated to your post, but something I'm seeing a lot is the whole 'it's dehumanizing for him to watch two women!' or 'it's lesbian fetishization!'

from the very bottom of my heart, as a gay woman, people saying that can eat me. These are the same people who didn't care about any of our representation, before. They didn't care about having lesbian characters, didn't bring them up. Now that it affects their (largely) het pairing, and specifically Colin as a perfect prize in a pairing he has largely been denied a narrative within, we're talking pieces and pawns for their discontent? No, I refuse. There are legitimate criticisms that can and should take place about Bridgerton's lack of care toward wlw, and especially that our only representation may actually just be a lesbian performance for the sake of a threesome, but this is not a criticism on COLIN. It is a criticism on the PRODUCTION. Because if we had queer women in the series before, it wouldn't be an issue. However, I refuse to have my sexuality used as a 'ewwww gross! look what they're doing! isn't that soooo wrong?' gotcha moment by people who just don't like his character. If we're gonna have a conversation about it, we should have a conversation about it based purely on our actual desire to protect and care for queer women. Not using us as stepping stone soap boxes to prop up an argument.

Queer people are really done dirty in the Polin fandom, and this is proof of it. Demi!Colin is important to me, and he continues living on in my heart and my fics, and even if it turns out that he's fucked up and down the Amalfi coastline and watched live porn, that won't make him less demi to me, personally. Ace spec people's experience with sex is all unique, and honestly, watching seems very in line with Colin's character. I don't agree with peeps who call it weird or gross that he watches porn.

This is an incredibly puritanical fandom, and I find it more and more evident as I spend time in it. The entire 'suffering' 'penance' 'deserve her' 'grovel' train was already very clear in that regard, and then people only wanting Colin to be a virgin so he remained 'pure' and 'untarnished' (legit takes I had to read with my own eyeballs) for Penelope was so Catholic on main that it made me feel insane.

Us ace-spec peeps deserve to be and should have the space to be upset at any developments taking place! We also deserve to be free from people doing pseudo pearl clutching and hiding behind feminist and queer-friendly language to disguise that they're just upset that Colin is getting anything at all in his storyline that centers around him and his own discovery outside of Penelope. Even if he isn't a virgin, he can absolutely still be Demi, Anon! And I hope that brings you some comfort.

Am I a fan of the threesomes foursomes moresomes and live porn speculation? No, not particularly. Am I livid furious throwing up about it? Also no. This series has betrayed me and disappointed me in so many ways, but so has the fandom. I guess I'm accustomed to it, now. But I want to reiterate that we should not believe everything that is posted. Some rando on a reddit forum confirming a tabloid article does not investigative journalism and peer review and confirmed sources make.

But in the event that the season does disappoint and gives us some baffling storylines: this is where fanfic can be such a comfort. It's how a story lives on in perpetuity. I've written trans!Colin and queer!Colin and demi!Colin and virgin!Colin and bdsm!Colin and all sorts! We can give we everything we want. It's our playground and it's meant to be fun.

But over my dead body will I believe a Sun UK article lol

[mommyclaws]

look as a lesbian I don’t get why it’s so awful to just want lesbian spaces?? We as queer people all have different experiences and we can have smaller spaces while still embracing the whole community.

Lesbians go through different experiences than bi non-men do. That DOES NOT mean “we suffer more” or whatever because I hate the whole oppression olympics shit. We are not attracted to men neither sexually nor romantically, and that’s what makes us oppressed in this heteronormative world. We go through harassment, corrective rape, violence, and conversion “therapy” because we are homosexual. If my dad ever found out I was exclusively attracted to women I would get kicked out. Why is it suddenly so awful and “gatekeepy” to ask us to have our own spaces? We still have sapphic spaces! We even have bi spaces and pan spaces! Heck, I see gay non-women are allowed to have their own spaces!

It’s harmful to be treated as a monolith. I’m not attracted to men, and saying im an “exclusionist” for this is lesbophobic. I’m not evil for being exclusively attracted to non-men. I’m not evil for saying we should have our own spaces while we’d still have sapphic spaces!

Words have meanings, and the lesbian label is important to me, for all of its history and all of my struggles. I’m tired of us all being seen as “big mean lesbians who hate men” so so much. It reeks of misogyny to me.

I am heavily disappointed, and I ask everyone to please understand why bi lesbians are harmful.

I'm disappointed you've missed the point of my post. I was talking about the history of different lesbians and sapphics being excluded and hated in our community through generations. The conversation wasn't about bi lesbians specifically, it was about the butches, transfemmes, Pan/Bi, Aro/Ace, nonbinary, and countless other identities that were or ARE still considered not "valid" members of our community at point or another. I was pointing out how this "Bi Lesbian exclusion" is just a repeat of past mistakes and in the retrospective it is rooted in radfem/terf ideology that claims sapphics have to present and feel a certain way to be accepted. I didn’t say anywhere that being attracted to non-men is evil, I didn’t call anyone a “big mean lesbian”. You’re putting words into my mouth. That entire post was about defending sapphic’s right to attraction and expression.

Lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, non cis women and etc can all be oppressed, harassed, hate crimed, rejected by friends/family and other terrible things for their non heteronormative attraction.

Some people are failing to realize these exclusively “one identity spaces" they feel are being threatened don't actually exist in real life. Sure someone can have like, a "nonbinaries only" discord server or a meet up with friends who are all the the same identity. But a majority of queer spaces in real life? They don't have those rules because theres no way to separate queer identities neatly like that- There isn't a need to. You're going to find bisexuals and pansexuals and nonbinaries and trans people and all sorts of other identities at the same lesbian bar, the same sapphic support group, the same circle of friends.

So what exactly are these "spaces" that every other identity has and lesbians supposedly don't? Maybe ask why bisexuals, pansexuals, etc also being in a sapphic space feels so threatening to some in the first place? They have a right to be there as well. We are a community.

A label can be used and defined as whatever the owner of the label is comfortable with! "Lesbian" has always been an umbrella term. It can be a singular identity or it can describe any sapphic experience or it can do lots of things, labels have always been flexible in this way. Someone using the label differently than another person isn't harmful. It's expression.

[lothli]

About Tumblr, My Writing, and Finding Home

This is a personal post unrelated to news about my writings, and as such, is quite possibly dreary and uninteresting. I do apologize. As a courtesy, I've included a Keep Reading.

I spent around a month on Tumblr, from the end of September to the start of October, and I've observed many interesting posts from many people. I've also learned new things, such as what a whump is and other such writblr-exclusive terms.

But in a way, the more I learn, the more I understand the differences between myself and the wider community.

Most of the time, I do not write romance, especially regarding shipping of existing characters. I understand that this is quite an important part of the Tumblr community, what with the "antis" and the "pro-shippers" all running amok. For the record, I still consider myself a pro-shipper; what other writers wish to write is none of my business. It's just something I find little interest in doing.

I am a queer writer, but I feel like my work is not "queer" in the same way as many other very talented queer writers have. This kind of leans into the lack of romance; for my original characters, you'll never know if they're gay or ace or bi or het, simply because it's just not something I ever have them think about.

I find myself lost, unable to find a real home for my original works. Tumblr and Ao3 are suitable places for An Unmaking to live, and I am glad that the folks here seem to enjoy them somewhat. However, long posts don't seem to be in vogue on Tumblr, which makes some sense. This is a blogging site, not a writing site.

My one-shots fit in alright, but I also have short stories that simply don't fit here. Serialization is something I find great difficulty with on Tumblr; it's why I've given up posting An Unmaking here.

Ao3 and FF.net are both fan-fiction-dominated pages. Sure, I could probably post original works on both, but it doesn't feel quite right. It's not a home.

I've looked into other websites, but Wattpad seems unappealing in general, and I've never heard anyone say good things about the site outside of nostalgia.

RoyalRoad makes sense, but the demographics feel strange as well. I am not a LitRPG or Portal Fantasy writer, and the works feel pretty skewed toward a straight male-leaning audience. This isn't criticism; it's simply that I am not straight or male. In the same way that I do not fit in Tumblr's shipping and romance, I do not fit in RoyalRoad's power fantasies.

I'm not someone who chases stats or engagement. I simply want a place where my original works feel at home, where it feels like my work is something that belongs, instead of a strange hanger-off that does not quite fit in with the rest.

For my Secret History readers, an analogy: A creature of Winter and Sky is looking to settle. But the first is a place that is too full of yearning, too dappled for it to truly rest. The next is warm and comforting but also sharp in a way it is not. From place to place, it flits, looking for somewhere to make its home but never truly finding it.

If you've read this far, thank you for indulging in a painfully conspicuous and inexperienced outsider in her ramblings. If you have any suggestions for where my works may roost, please let me know in all the myriad of ways that Tumblr lets you interact with me. Frankly, I've probably missed some. Maybe there's some tag that fits me that I'm unaware of, too.

None of this will affect An Unmaking, not that I've been consistent with its upload schedule. Thank you for reading.

-- Lothli

[theantarwitch]

Hi! I am not that weell-informed about these things but what does Aro stand for? Although English is my sec mother language, with the new sleng terms I am not that familiar with. For me, it was a heck of a Hell to figure out bisexuality can be a thing to describe this aspect of myself. I'd be glad if you could explain this to me, even in a DM if you find it more comfy. Also I am curious of what does nonbinary stand for and is it any level similar to bi? o.0 I gettiing more confused over these things as eeveryone deines these so differently. Some words doesn't even have a translation in my Hungarian language.

Hi there! Sure, is not a problem, as someone with English as a second language, I understand the struggle, some of these words have not a direct translation on Spanish neither. I will explain all my labels in case it can help you to understand all in general.

Aro stand for Aromantic, it means that I don't experience romantic attraction, or at least not in the same way and intensity as Alloromantic people (these are, as a way to put it, the "normal" people who fall in love, the typical ones, in a way). Pretty much a "I don't fall in love almost never".

I'm also Ace (Asexual), which is pretty similar to Aromantic (They are in the same category) but it means that I don't experience sexual attraction as the normal people do. So, I don't have sex because I don't like it.

Pan is Pan-sexual (and Pan-romantic in my case). This is, IF I feel sexual and romantic attraction, is to any multiple genders. I use this label because in some communities, they say that Bisexuals focus only on mans and womans, but they exclude anyone who don't identify themselves exclusively as man or woman. In other Bi communities, they DO include people from other sexualities. Then, I use Pan as a way to say "bisexual but including all sexualities".

Nonbinary is a gender, to anyone who doesn't exclusively fall into the binary gender of only man or woman. Some say that are in the transgender umbrella, some don't. Is not like Bisexuals since Bisexuality is to who you are attracted to. Nonbinary is a gender, in my case, a "I'm not a woman, neither a man. I'm a little of both".

Sapio is sapio-sexual/ sapio-romantic, which means that feel attraction for intellectual characteristics, more than in physical characteristics. Pretty much a "I like big brains, not big dicks".

I know it can be confusing as hell because this days there are new labels all the time, I don't even know a lot of the new ones to be honest XD

Also, this is a very amply and simple explanation because I don't want to fill you with details that will end maybe confusing you. If you have more questions just ask!

You can also check the "LGTBQIA+ Wiki" which have pretty much all this labels better explained: https://lgbtqia.fandom.com/wiki/LGBTQIA%2B_Wiki

[idyllic-affections]

i, for one, would love to hear your queer harbinger hcs! my personal favourite is transmasc wanderer (its practically canon to me)

side note, im not sure if ill be sending alot of asks, but can i be 🐌 anon?

YAY omg... okay i will gladly share my queer harbinger hcs because i have a hard time believing that any of those people are both cis and het! and yes of course... hello 🐌 anon <3 also @zeldadou, i know you were also interested in seeing my hcs!

this doesn't include all the harbingers. as of right now, these are just my major and more detailed lgbt+ headcanons. slight nsfw but not really? just brief discussions of sexual attraction and how it relates to the harbingers' identities.

dottore never paid any thought to his identity, since it didn't benefit or affect him at all (especially back in his akademiya days), but he is very very much attracted exclusively to men in my brain. yeah he went on a date with a girl, but... you know. he also murdered her. so. yeah... also he's demisexual; he just does not feel any sexual desire unless it is directed towards someone he deeply cares about and has a strong bond with. he and pantalone are married, trust me fr /j /lh

columbina is genderless (she/it pronoun user) and lesbian. her angel motifs make me feel like it has no gender at all. after all... angels are eldritch. demons are reflections of human sin, but angels? they were never human. that is how i, as a writer, see the differences between angels and demons. so columbina, in my silly little brain, is genderless. or agender. or voidgender/gendervoid. who knows? but it has not a single ounce of gender in her body.

arlecchino is non-binary & lesbian. she likes women. who can blame her tbh.... she also has no pronoun preference and just presents in a more masc way to her underlings & her orphans (hence why they call her father, and why her underlings call her lord rather than lady if i recall correctly. also yes i am a short hair arlecchino enthusiast).

scara is transmasc & asexual. i know, i'm bold for saying that he's ace LMAO but fr, as of right now, i see him as asexual. i don't know why. i don't have a real reason for this one. however, i can explain him being trans--ei modeled him after herself, so... yeah. you guys see where i'm going with that one? yeahh he's transmasc i just know it 💥💥💥

pantalone is transmasc, demisexual, & demiromantic. why is he transmasc? i don't know. i don't have a real reason. i just feel it in my heart! his gender presentation is very androgynous and can be either masc or fem leaning--he's just secure in his identity like that yknow.... but i can explain why he is demi. being the richest man in teyvat, he obviously has to worry about being used for his mora. his attraction to people he doesn't have a very deep conmection with has generally faded since he's gotten to where he is in life.

childe is bisexual, but he doesn't 100% realize it yet! he's still in the closet. all his coworkers can tell, though. they know.

[aroaceconfessions]

So I have come to the conclusion that I am probably both somewhere on both the aro spectrum and the ace spectrum, but I am not quite sure where I fall with the microlabels, because I know I don’t fit the standard “no attraction at all” take either.

When it comes to romance, I am not sure if I am greyromantic, demiromantic, or cupioromantic. I know I want the dedicated, exclusive emotional connection that romantic relationships entail, and I do like the idea of some of the fluffier parts of a romantic relationship (especially cuddling and going out to eat together) but I only become open to the idea of it with someone after I consider them a friend (not sure if that counts as the “close emotional connection” though. I only consider like 5 people friends, so maybe it does.) I am much more open to expressing romantic interest in fictional characters, and have only considered 1 irl person for this, but they are taken so I don’t entertain it.

Sexual attraction is similar for me. I am not sure if I am demi or greysexual. I can’t bring myself to even consider sex with someone unless I consider them a close friend, and most the time that boils down to an “if they offered I wouldn’t say no” because the physical sensation is enjoyable and it’s a way to bond more. However I do feel like there is an exception for that person I mentioned previously as being willing to have a romantic relationship with. With them, if I didn’t know they were already taken, I might be willing to see if they were interested as well.

Submitted February 7, 2023

[paradoxcase]

Chapter 11 of Gideon the Ninth

Gideon really does not know how to say no to attractive women, does she? I'm still on the fence about whether or not Corona is going to turn out to be evil too, but Muir did almost literally name her "Cain", so I guess that settles that

There's actually something interesting here (to me, anyway), because although Gideon just cannot shut up about Corona being hot the entire chapter, except during the swordfight, there's something different about how this is portrayed here, that I don't really see much, or maybe at all? Forgive me, I've just been thinking a lot lately about attraction, and how you write it, because it's a day that ends in y and I have a story that's trying to be written and I keep going back to my Homestuck-fanfic-writing experience, and yeah

Normally when I see stuff like this, it's more explicitly sexual, or more explicitly romantic, there are references to things like people's bodies, to physiological reactions like butterflies, or being warm, or what have you, and I can't relate, depending on where exactly it falls on the sexual/romantic spectrum I come away with something in the range between "that sounds like an interesting experience, let me try to imagine it" and "rolling my eyes real hard right now" and "people like stuff like that? how curious, I must take notes", but this here, and also with Dulcinea in the last chapter, doesn't seem to fall into this category at all, it's all very aesthetic, about the general picture/vibes the person gives off, about the sound of their voice, about smiles and laughter, and so I can say, yes, I feel you, I get this experience you're having. I don't think it's a male gaze thing, because I see the same stuff happening in the female-dominated fanfiction world (most of the time there, actually, although certainly not exclusively), and I also really don't think it's intended to be an ace thing, because I'm pretty sure that no one in this book is intended to be ace, least of all Gideon. I don't know, though, maybe this will change later and it will become the same old same old. I noticed this today, because immediately after I finished reading the chapter, I checked my email and there was an AO3 notification for a fanfic I'm following, and I went and read the latest chapter, and the difference was stark

Anyway

I note now that Corona initially said she had organized matches for all the cavaliers, but having reached the end of the chapter, I see that we are missing the Sixth, Seventh, and Eighth cavaliers, but Corona did not go off in search of them. Of those we've so far only met Protesilaus, and the Sixth and the Eighth have not yet appeared as named characters, although by process of elimination we can conclude that one of them must be the guy with the missing middle finger who appeared with knife-face earlier

I do feel for Jeannemary, she's only just arrived at Lyctor Camp and already her (not) dad is going around telling everyone embarrassing stories about things she did as a toddler, if this is the kind of thing Harrow was afraid of, I guess I can see why

Please, Gideon, do not write down Magnus's dad jokes for later use, you're so much funnier than that

Yeah, no comment

Naberius seems very unpleasant, but I can see why he's upset if the match was supposed to end when he disarmed Gideon. A little strange that Corona didn't call it at that point, tbh

I have like, less than zero understanding of what this means. Gideon seems to know what it means, but she is not telling

Magnus's comments about Jeannemary's last name seem to indicate that last names are hereditary, but this is clearly not the case given that Harrow's last name does not match either of her parents', and also the pronunciation guide seems to be saying that they aren't hereditary. I am confuse

I wonder what Harrow is up to? I guess this room is going to turn out to be Important