#(holds them in my arms sobbing) i love them and you guys STILL dont even have the lore post

[nejackdaw]

Okay so did I ever write the Celann and Charlotte lore post. No. I didn't even finish the UESP deep dive. However. I am very thinking about Celann and the way he worships Charlotte

[moonydoodlez]

thinking about dad lucifer again (shocking) but IF YOU WANT MORE COMFORT I GOT U <3 but imagine lucifer and the readers kid (im imagining its not charlie) getting hurt like tripping over a rock or something and scrapping their knee nothing big but the kid starts sobbing from the pain and later in the night lucifer is still staying awake from it thinking hes such a terrible father for letting his baby get hurt :(

Fuck that rock

Pairng: Dad!Lucifer x Mom!Reader

Warnings: sad lucifer again sorry guys

Word Count: 1051

A/N: i lowkey kinda hate this but enjoy it if you want or dont i mean thats cool too

You watched Lucifer running through streets with your little girl. He reached out for her, spinning her around in the air before carefully setting her back down. Margot giggled as she chased him around. Her small legs trying to keep up with him, even though he was already running very slowly. You smiled softly, enjoying how sweet he was with her. 

“Look at the princess go” He yells to you as your daughter runs around in her pink dress and converse. 

“My turn to be chased” Margot giggled as Lucifer turned around and speed walked toward her. She laughed hard as she started running. She kept looking back at Lucifer making sure he was still chasing her. 

However all was going a little too well. As she looked back a final time a small rock in the road became her demise. She tripped and landed straight down on her knees. You gasped as you quickly stood up as you ran toward them. Lucifer had already collapsed to the ground pulling Margot into his arms making sure that she was ok. 

“It's ok baby” He cooed as she sobbed in his arms. She leaned her head against him as she began to cry harder. “Look.. there's mommy” He said as she lifted her chin up to look at you standing over her. You smile softly down at her as you watch her tears stream down.

“Let me look at your cut hun” You say, lowering yourself onto your knees. You realized that it was merely a scratch and she wasn't even bleeding. “It's ok baby” You whisper, taking a seat on the cement ground next to Lucifer. You grab her hand to hold as you lean your head against Lucifer's shoulder. He moves her legs onto yours so she's laying across you and Lucifer.

After about ten minutes she finally begins to settle down as she closes her eyes. You watch her sniffle as you let out a breath. Your eyes wandered over to Lucifer who was looking down at her sadly. He shook his head before pulling her closer into his chest laying a kiss on her temple. He was gripping her close, refusing to let go.

“We should probably put her to bed,” You suggest. Lucifer looks at you giving you a small smile before looking back at Margot. You could tell he felt bad and you knew he blamed himself. You could see it in his eyes. 

“Do you wanna put her to sleep?” You asked him knowing that if he felt like a good father it could stop the sadness he was feeling. He nodded, picking her up in his arms and heading inside. 

You picked up the blanket you had laid on the ground and the snacks you put out in case anyone had gotten hungry while you played outside. You cleaned up your room and took a shower as he took his time feeding her and putting her to sleep. 

Sliding on your robe you looked up clutching your chest as you saw Lucifer laying in bed. “God.. I didn't realize you were in here already” You said breathing heavily walking toward the bed and laying down. 

“Sorry my love” He said, planting a kiss on your lips as he moved the covers over your body. 

“You ok?” You ask as he sighed. His eyes met yours again as he nodded, finally getting under the covers. 

You moved your body closer to him. His arms wrapped around your waist slowly before suddenly clutching your body to his. You gasped as he moved your body as close to him as it could possibly be.

“I'm a bad father” He whimpered into your shoulder. 

Your eyes widened as you moved his head from your shoulder. “What on earth are you talking about?” You questioned holding his face in your hands. “What would ever make you say that?

“She fell and could have died and it was all my fault” He replied frantically.

Your shoulders fell and you couldn't stop the giggle that left your lips. His eyes narrowed at you as you shut your mouth.

“Don't laugh at me” He pouted.

“Oh honey I'm not laughing at you.. I just think it's silly. You didn't almost kill her, she tripped over a rock and she wasn’t even bleeding” You said running your hands through his hair. 

He forced his head onto your chest as he sniffled. “Oh baby” You said, realizing he was crying. 

“I screwed up with Charlie and now I'm already screwing up with her” He cried.

You weren't sure where he had ever gotten the idea of being a bad dad. I mean of course when you first met Lucifer he was just starting to talk to his daughter again. He always wanted to be there for Charlie, he just didn't know how to be in her life as a father. However it was obvious Lilith had put some things in Charlie's head. Lucifer would never do anything to hurt her. He had always wanted to be in Charlie's life, Lilith  just didnt let him be in it. 

“Baby, look at me,” You said. He never looked up, keeping his head on your chest. You repeat yourself more forcefully this time. He slowly made eye contact. His eyes were bloodshot as he stared at you.

“You never screwed up with Charlie and you most definitely haven't screwed up with our girl” You said. “All she got was a scratch that will probably be gone by the morning” You continued. 

“I guess,” He murmured.

You sighed knowing that nothing you could say could change his mind. However you loved him with every fiber in your body and would try your hardest to convince him he was an amazing father.

You placed a kiss on his head as you rubbed your hands up and down his back.

“Even if you don’t believe it, you really are an amazing husband and father, there’s no one I'd rather be with” You said as you snuggled into him, closing your eyes. You inhaled his scent as he layed in your arms.

“I love you” You whisper as you close your eyes.

He mumbled an almost incoherent ‘love you too’ as you laid in the complete darkness of your shared room.

Masterlist Lucifer Masterlist

[hsyvers]

IM IN LOVE WITH SPIDER-JEN you dont even understand 🥰😝😻 but im craving some angst... can you write yn getting attacked by one of yunjins enemies and she doesnt get there in time? my heart hurts just by requesting this 🤧

for you, i'd bleed myself dry - spiderwoman!h.yj x reader

WARNING(S); vague descriptions of death

NOTES; 1k. i hate writing angst so so much but when someone requests i'll try my best to deliver so 😭 yk atsv and like the thing abt canon events....and the last gwenter scene in tasm 2....yeah....im kinda denying that it's a pt.2 to my spiderwoman yunjin fic bc im delulu <3

"hey!" yunjin yells, her heart hammering in her chest, "y/n! i need to hear you!"

"i'm okay!" you respond shakily, standing on a tiny ledge that oversaw the whole hollow clocktower, except for a bunch of gears moving. the fall would still be able to kill, "focus on your fight!"

yunjin lets out a relieved sigh, wincing at the action. her ribs hurt the more she breathes, her vision getting blurry the more she evades her enemy's attacks.

how much has technology advanced anyway? with all the guys yunjin has had to deal with, especially the last few months, it felt like every terrible person was trying to be on par with spiderwoman.

that's how you all ended up on top of this fucking clocktower anyway. if it weren't for her insisting to give you a quick kiss, he might have thought you were just a normal civilian.

'fucking idiot,' she thinks to herself, forcing her limbs to move. once she feels her foot connect with his face, she dives down to get you.

"hold on tight," she orders, with you nodding quickly. she webs something sturdy above the both of you, but just as she pulls up, the criminal cuts it off.

all yunjin can hear is your gasp and his sickening laugh.

she grabs you with a web and sends another one to hold her up.

he seems bored of repeating the same action, jumping down to challenge yunjin to take him on again.

you see the white eyes of her mask focusing on you, and at this moment, it hurts to think of how much she loves you.

when he tries to grasp her arm, you shout a warning, and yunjin manages to kick him off again, her arm swinging to throw a punch before she holds herself up again.

then the gears meet, and your web snaps.

it happens so quickly, that, you wonder if you even screamed.

yunjin doesn't either. she just jumps.

lower, and lower, and lower.

a string chases your chest.

you hear a crack, and you feel yunjin's arms envelop you.

and you're grateful that that's the last thing you feel.

"please, please, please, oh fuck," yunjin pulls off her mask, tears streaming down her cheeks when she falls to the floor, cradling you, "please, babe, no. don't do this."

she leans her ear to your chest, and she has the urge to die herself when she hears nothing.

"honey, no, please," she begs softly, her chest wrecking with sobs when she presses a lingering kiss to your temple.

"get up, okay? tell me you're alright. scold me for being late to practice. yell at me for dropping you!"

it aches. it aches how alive you looked and how dead you felt.

"i'm so sorry, i'm so sorry," she chants, holding you closer as she cries, "it's all my fault. i should've-...i..."

"you look so tired," you whisper, one late night.

yunjin had come home around 3 am, and she's sitting tiredly on your bed, nuzzling her face onto your chest as you stood and held her.

"everything...hurts."

you pull her mask off, expression souring when you see a cut on her lip and eyebrow.

"one day, i'll kill the people who hurt you like this," you declare quietly, after patching her up, like you always have, and you always will.

"no need," she whispers, burying her face in your hair when you lay on the bed, "i'll handle them and you handle me, okay?"

you giggle, and nod in approval, taking her hand to press gentle kisses on her battered knuckles, "i'll take care of you."

and yunjin is surprised at how much she yearns. even when you're around. and painfully more so when you're not.

"it's rotten work."

"not to me. not if it's you."

she remembers falling asleep to your voice.

she never regretted touching you, kissing you, telling you how she loved you, every single day. she never forgot your lips on her own, her cheeks, and her scars.

maybe that's why it was so utterly devastating.

because she never felt that strongly about anyone, or anything. she was the city's protector while you were hers.

she crumbles completely, and she sits there for hours.

the police can arrive, blame everything on her, arrest her, she didn't care.

the only reason why she tears herself away from your body, was so you could be buried properly. she feels as though she can't speak, her eyes red and dull when she left you.

she doesn't come out of her room for days. everyone seems to notice spiderwoman's absence. her friends try to get to her, but she refuses to respond.

she finally shows her face at your funeral, and when they ask why she did, she merely says it's all for you.

and also, she thinks, because you saved her. again, even after death. you did have a way with words, after all.

to my soulmate,

i know you warned me before we started dating, about how i might be in as much danger as you are.

if you found this, it's because you were right, and for whatever reason, i can't be with you right now.

i just want to say that i don't regret kissing you that one night after you saved me, and i certainly wouldn't take back all the love i have given you and my experiences of you giving all you have left in you to me.

in fact, i'd do it all over again, and even now, i love you, i love you, i love you.

you got this! you can pull through it. you're the strongest person i know. and don't forget to lean on our friends if you need them. i know you'll be in good hands.

i took care of you for as long as i could, and you protected me to the best of your ability. i know, because i trust you.

so please, continue to smile and laugh for me, i'll be watching from wherever i am, so don't you dare forget it!

yours forever,

the love of your life (your words, not mine, babe)

[mangosrar]

Always, i will be here.

chris sturniolo x reader

a/n: guys this one is lowkey-highkey sad but i love it so much:(

loosely based off always by Daniel Caesar!!!!

My y/n,

I wonder when i first met you, in a way that was more than just physical. I wonder when a line in a song reminded me of you, or the first time i walked past someone who carried a scent so similar to yours, that i questioned if you had just walked past me, or the first time someone made a joke so good i had to relay it to you later and pretended it was my own.

I always thought that heart break was caused by mean words said so harshly they pierce the soul. But in reality, they’re from goodbyes that weren’t told, kisses never shared and hugs never felt. These are the ingredients of a broken heart and they can never be fixed. Broken beyond repair.

The thing is even if you could go back, you wouldnt belong there anymore. I still perform autopsies on conversations we had lives ago. They could hook me up to a polygraph and ask me if i still love you, i would say no, and the line would jump and stutter in the exact pattern of your laugh. It feels better to die at your hands y/n, than to never have felt them at all. The heart has its own memory, and i have forgotern nothing, so dont set me on fire and act like you're the one burning.

I remember once you told me you killed a plant by feeding it too much water, and now you worry love is voilence and i know i always say you hold on to too much and every time you reply; asking me where you should put it down. This is starting to look like a contest of who cares less but i liked it better when you were on my side. Im afraid i will love you for the rest of my life and we will never be in the same room again, and im worried the amount of time we have left together is limited so please lingre near the door or forget your jacket and come back for it later. Please just tell me that im not as forgetable as your absence is making me feel. You only hate the people you love, and i know i could never be someone you dont like.

But surrounded by the churches and the dirt, i fell in love with you here. I had never told you. I wish i was braver. It's okay to not be who you thought you would be. But now summer is almost over, my feelings didnt change, and you aren't coming back. But always, i will be here y/n.

My Chris,

Christopher Owen Sturniolo, you have siezed my spine, took my bones and left me to melt into a sticky pile of mush where my body used to be.

I have spent half of my life loving you, and the other half figuring out my love for you. If i could write a book on all the things i wished you would have said, i would run out of pages. I feel like a kid at christmas whos been hopelessly dreaming about getting a pony,only to be given socks. I pushed you out and now youre so far away i cant even reach for you. I could call you a hundred names and scream and shout about why you were awful. But where would that leave me. I still loved you. I still have to live with that.

Its like youve taken a part of me and left it where i cant find it. I tried to forgive you, so i could move on, but how is that possible when i find you in every song, every tone, every frequency and every static. My brain cannot move an inch without bumping into some part of you. You are just a burning house that i want to live in, so why can't you let me put you out?

I wish you had left me wondering. I think it would have hurt much less if i never knew what made you fall out of love with me. You held me tight as i weeped like a little girl who had just dropped her ice cream, you kissed the top of my head and rocked us back and forth. You muffled my sobs with your lips. You whispered sweet nothings to me as i cried in your arms. You wiped the tears that fell for the heart you broke. You told me there will always be a piece of your heart that belongs to me. You have stained me. Tainted and bruised my soul. You told me that you’ve never had a love like ours and never will. You said that you’re future wife will know about me. Your kids will learn what love is through the stories you tell them about us. And suddenly, im at the kitchen table. Crying. Wondering what went wrong. But always, i will be here chris.

@christinarowie332 @jcwrites-blog @sturnphilia @biimpanicking @sssturniolofart @lividnity

LMK WHAT YALL THINK!!!!

[lillyspeakz]

can i request some wilbur soot angsty stuff

like wilbur dating reader whose a sad person who always thinks people dont like her and doesnt react well to rough criticsm

because im feeling sad and this is what i'm craving☹️

hi dearest! I’m very much feeling this request rn so I hope you enjoy! And I hope you feel better darling <3 This was very self indulgent and half assed bc I’m eepy but! Enjoy!

warnings: reader had a bad day, Wilbur being cute, fluff all around with a hint of angst. It’s like hurt/comfort.

come into (my arms)

“Shh, it’s ok darling. I know, just let it out.” Wilbur whispered to you, holding you in his arms as you let out sobs and cries into his chest.

Today had been a particularly hard day, people harshly telling you what to do when things didn’t seem to be right when you did them. You thought your co-workers disliked you at the beginning, but now you definitely thought they didn’t, which hurt.

You had trouble reading people and how they felt about you but once one harsh comment came out of their mouth about your work or you, that decision was clear. You thought a lot of people didn’t like you, feeling a bit to out of comfort when around new people. Yet your friends and Wil reassured you constantly that they loved and appreciated you.

But today, everything was too much and you finally cracked.

Your tears soaked his shirt, hands wrinkled the fabric, ultimately ruining the once nice shirt. You were mad, and upset, and he knew that. Wil rubbed your head as broken sobs and cries of frustration and despair left your mouth, holding you as close as he could. “You are so strong my love. So proud of you for getting through the day. I love you so much, so so much.”

His words only made you let more sobs out, thankful that he was here with you. This wasn’t the first time this has happened and he knew it wouldn’t be the last. But he’d be there for you every time.

“I-I’m s-sorry.” Ylu stuttered out inbetween sobs, resulting in Wilbur shushing you gently and kissing your hairline.

“Don’t apologize love, you deserve to let it out. You don’t let yourself feel your emotions a lot, so let this be that time.” He told you as you inhaled shakingly, and let out a deep breath, your cries and tears slowly coming to a stop as he continued rubbing your head and humming quietly to you.

Feeling calmer than before, you released his shirt in your hand and rubbed your tear stayed face. Watching this, Wilbur frowned and took your hand in his, gently kissing it and cupping your cheek in his palm. He collected the tears that had fallen and lied on your waterline, cooing at you as you leant into his touch.

“My precious baby. You look so pretty.” Wil whispered to you as he looked at you, really looked at you. Your eyes puffy and glossy from tears, yet your eyes still hold that same beauty. Tear streaks paint your face making him want to kiss every part of your face that the salty water touched. You were absolutely beautiful to him, no matter what. And he could never explain how he felt, always needing to either kiss or hold you.

“Even like this? A hot mess?” You asked as you looked up at him, the question being a genuine one.

“Yes baby, even like that. Always. I love you, so much. And if you want to find a new job, I will help every step of the way. It doesn’t seem like you’re comfortable there anyways darling. You know, you could work for the band. We’d be happy to have you as our manager.” Wil asked, having wanted you to be their manger for longer than usual.

You smiled up at him as you leant up to him and kissed him, soft and sweet. Both of you smiled into it, a kiss not being possible anymore. “I love you. And I’ll think about it, sounds better than having to work with people that scare me sometimes.”

“We don’t scare you?”

“Oh! No you guys do! But I love you guys, and I know you guys love me.” You admitted to Wil, as he smiled brightly down at you, wrapping his arms back around you and kissing all over your face as giggles and squeals left you.

taglist: @horny-p0et @ivvees-blog (if you want to be added, send me an ask or comment)

[elvisslut]

“One last ride”

Warnings- death, crying, children involved.

This is a little rushed mb

“Baby?” You call out for your husband walking into the bedroom to see him on the bed all dressed up. “Where are you going?” You question with a smile.

Elvis knew his time was soon just not how soon..not that he wanted it to be, but he accepted it. “We’re goin’ to go out..one last ride on the bike hows that sound?” He looked to you with a small smile, one that hide the pain he was feeling physically and emotionally.

“Last? Are you selling one?” He chuckles and waves it off, Getting up and going to you. His arms capsulate you against his stomach and chest, nothing could stop you from being happy in this moment..

“Okay..” you softly speak earning a hum in response, he’s going to miss you. “Lets go”

———————

The ride had you ending you two up all the way in Knoxville. Hours away from home, he thought about turning around but you’re arms around him, cuddling your head into the spot right between his shoulder blades.

Eventually he did turn around heading back towards Memphis. Stopping about halfway and going to the river look out at the water flowing.

“I love you..for eternity even after death..” he said softly, you frown to yourself for a moment before smiling. “I love you too baby..” you quip, your obliviousness was adorable to him but also gut wrenching.

“Lets get back home..” he says patting your hand and revving up the back, heading back to Memphis knowing too much, an you knowing too little.

He seemed fine, laughing, cracking jokes, messing with you how he does but then you went to bed not knowing your life would be turned on its axis.

—————

Happy in your arms and you in his he held tight..as he passed against you in his sleep..you woke up that morning with a large smile seeing your husband in bed still. But he was cold. Why was he cold. He was pale and his heart was not thumping against your ear.

“Elvis..” you say tears flood your eyes. “Elvis..elvis elvis please baby.. please wake up..i need you please oh my god..” you rushed out of the room and ran downstairs nearly tripping. “Joe j-joe elvis isn’t breathing he-hes cold” without another word you and joe followed by some of the guys ran up to the bedroom.

Everything stopped. Its slowed down, like it was slow motion. The love of your life, your best friend, your everything was truly gone. You watch in pure agony as the guys rush into things and do things hoping to find something to help.

Your beautiful boy was too far gone. You hear footsteps rushing to the room to see your daughter and your son..staring at their father with horror printed on their faces, your son who was 15 looked to you and ran over wrapping his arms around you, your 5 year old daughter following and doing the same.

“Take your sister to your room dont come out till i tell you okay?” You say holding in sobs as you hug them back, Aaron nods and picks up jessie soothing her worries as he walks away and out to his room.

You follow the emts to the ambulance, crawling in and looking at him as they rush towards the hospital.

Why must god take him from his family. He was your everything and your kids everything. You held his cold stiffing hand rushing in with them to the hospital being pulled away from him as they hit doors you couldn’t walk through.

Finally that was enough you broke down completely, how were you supposed to tell your babies. He pampered them and looked them to no end..as joe came to you helping you up and crying with you he lead you to a private waiting room, where the rest of the guys were, immediately all of them coming to you and wrapping you in a big warm group hug.

He was truly gone..your husband died in your arms..and your children seen their dead father..

One last ride

He knew..he knew and he didn’t tell you.

Even after death..

You let out a sob holding onto one of the guys. Wishing you were the love struck teen that couldn’t tell elvis about her feelings because she didn’t want to lose his friendship.

[stargazer6969]

!Trigger Warnings!:

Fluff, Cussing, and SH

Chapter 3 of Halloween Night

Chapter 3

That same night, I was in bed, sobbing into my pillow. God, this shouldn’t hurt so much but it dose! It’s just a stupid high school crush but for some reason it hurts like hell. I feel stupid for even liking him, I feel stupid for even thinking he liked me, I feel stupid for even going to that party! The more I think about it, the worse I feel. I feel as if there someone suffocating me, because suddenly I can’t breath. My room is filled with my sharp gasps as I hyperventilate, and I quickly stand up from my bed and move to my closet. I pull out a lego box that I still have from when I was younger and desperately dig through it until I finally find it- a sharp piece of broken glass. My hands are shaking, making it hard for me to hold onto it so I tighten my grip until my knuckles turn white and my fingers begin to bleed. I roll up my sleeve and slice the glass through my skin.

Blood seeps from the cuts like raindrops rolling down a window as I slice three more cuts through my skin. Then another. Then another. Then another. I dont stop until my arm is more blood then skin, and until I’m numb- numbness, a feeling I know all to well. I dont crave it, I dont yearn for it, but its better than sadness. And what better way to numb myself than slicing through my own skin? The next day I wore long sleeves.

I see Matt walk up to me, a small smile on his face as if nothing had even fucking happened. “Hey!” He says, his white teeth showing as he greets me with a smile. “Hey,” I respond, burning a fake smile on my face. “So, me, Chris, Nick, and Anna are planning on going to this carnival! You wanna come? Chris is inviting anna right now”

”Sure, what time?”

”This Saturday around noon, so probably 12. You in?”

”Mmmmm, yeah, why not!”

”Great! Ill pick you up at 12!” He says before walking off.

IM PACKING UP EVERYTHING I might need in a small bag when I hear Matt honk his horn right outside my house. I walk down the stairs and out the door as Matt steps out of the car, opening his arms to greet me with a hug. “Hey!” He says, his tone exited. I wrap my arms over his shoulders and I feel my face heat up as his arms wrap around my waist. He lets go and thank god he doesn’t see the pink on my cheeks as we start walking to the car. Chris is sitting in the passenger seat, while Nick, Anna, and I sit in the back. I was anxious at first to go, but we all started talking and things seemed…normal. It hurts but I like it at the same time. Eventually, we get to the carnival, and as I step out of the car I'm hit in the face with the strong aroma of deep fried food. A wide grin creeps across my face at the smell so familiar to me. Carnivals were always nostalgic to me since my dad and I always used to go to them when I was younger.

The first few hours are a blast. We ride rides, we eat tasty snacks and small treats, and the day is filled with laughter. It almost makes me forget about the party, until we're all sitting down on a small picnic table to take a break to eat a real meal instead of snacks. Nick got a hotdog, Chris got a meatball sub with Pepsi, and Matt got a chili dog while me and Anna shared a bucket of cheese-fries since neither of us were that hungry. “Guys, I cannot get over that Halloween party!” Nick says. Me and Anna look at each other and back at Nick as he keeps talking. “God I had, like, the best time! And the host, Samantha, was so nice! I got wasted and she stayed with me while I threw up. She even drove me home! God I love her, she’s such a queen.” He says, not knowing what happened at the party between me and Matt.

Anna, like the amazing friend she is, tries to change the subject. “So guys, I was thinking that after this we could all go back to my house and-” Matt cuts her off “I guess so, but that party was kinda mid if i'm being honest” He says as if Anna wasn’t even talking. “I mean, I got kinda tipsy and made, like, the WORST decision of my life!” He says through laughter as I feel hot tears begin to form in my eyes.

“Yeah? What’d you do?” Nick asks, amusement and curiosity clear in his tone.

“Get this, I kissed Amber!” He says through laughs.

“No fucking way!” Chris exclames

“I know right! When I woke up the next morning and I realized what I did I couldn’t stop cringing! I mean, could you imagine? Me and amber” He says through obnoxious laughs. While he was laughing, I was blinking back tears as my sadness slowly turned into anger.

Without any warning I stand up, my hands balled into fists as I shout “Oh, was it really that bad?!” My knuckles begin to turn white, but I keep my eyes focused on Matt’s icy blue eyes that I once loved, but now despised. “God, Matt, I throw hint after hint after hint in your face in your still oblivious! I like you, matt! Is that so hard to understand?! Or at least I used to before I learned what a piece of shit you really are! I mean, even if I didn’t have feelings for you, who just keeps going on about regretting that they kissed someone! You know what? I’m done, matt. I’m done with you, I'm done with your stupid jokes, I'm done. I’m just done. Do you know how exhausting it is to find someone that you really like, only to watch them degrade you and embarrass you? I’m leaving, and I don't think I ever wanna see you again.” I say as hot tears begin to stream down my face like lava seeping out of a volcano. I turn around and walk away, not even looking back.

[lucstarz]

— ☆ ̇ ̟ 𝕴 𝕷𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝖄𝐨𝐮 𝕾𝐨 : 𝙊𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩



𝓢𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝗜𝗡 𝗪𝗛𝗜𝗖𝗛..

Jay had come to realize he had fallen for Aelia even though she was in love with another.

᭥ ★ The atmosphere was tense to Jay. It wasn’t as joyful as it was earlier as Jay watched Aelia get off her elemental dragon silently with red eyes. You could tell she was crying.

Aelia stood quietly as the others partied about their victory against the cursed realm; civilians praising the ninja, especially Nya for taking down the ghosts.

But despite everyone celebrating Jay knew something was wrong with the girl and the second they locked eyes he knew immediately.

Tears poured down the girls cheeks as her body shivered. Maybe she was cold? It didn’t matter, she had just experienced something she’d never wish to experience. The death of the man she loved.

Jay wanted to comfort her. To reach out to her. To hold her. But wait.. Why was he thinking of these things? He never thought such thoughts before. He was confused. Way too confused.

The male watched helplessly as Irena slowly approached Aelia. The second the girl got close to her Aelia ran into her arms and began sobbing, muttering unidentifiable words that the male couldn’t hear. But Irena heard them very clearly.

Jay wanted to reach out and comfort Aelia. He really did. He wanted to hold her and tell her everything was all right. He knew this feeling was something not to ignore. He knew it was something more than what he expected. But.. How could he express it to Aelia.

Jay knew Aelia was in pain because of Morro, the elemental master of wind. He knew something had happened between the two of them while she was kidnapped. He knew.. she had fallen for him..

But why? He wondered. Maybe it was to forget something.. Or someone. Jay had zero clue but at that current moment he felt like his heart was shattering at the sight of Aelia’s broken heart.

“Aelia.. Hey.. Let’s go inside and talk about this.. Okay..?” Irena soothed the weeping girl as she clung onto her best friends outfit. It was inevitable, she knew this was bound to happen. That’s what happens when you fall in love with a ghost..

Slowly walking past the male, Aelia sniffled quietly as she held her head down. She didn’t want Jay to see her in such a state. But.. Jay wanted to comfort her.. Badly.

“Aelia.. Wait-”

Irena glanced at Jay before shaking her head at the male, signaling that it was not the time. But.. Jay knew there was more to the look that she was giving him.. She was hiding something from him.. Something important that he should know..

Jay helplessly watched as the two girls walked out of his sight. A voice from behind him snapped Jay out of his running thoughts as he looked back to see his best friend, Cole, stare at him with a frown.

“You know.. She was in love with the guy. Anyone could tell…” Cole started as Jay looked down at his feet with a slow nod.

“I know.”

Cole stepped closer as he waved his hand in front of Jay’s face.

“You know.. This is partially your fault…”

Jay looked up at Cole in surprise as he stared in shock.

“Wait.. My fault..?” He slowly questioned as Cole nodded. Cole sighed before shaking his head.

“She loves you.. I’m not sure if she still does but.. Irena says she loves you.. Aelia does.. But you loved.. Nya.”

Cole paused slightly before frowning. It also reminded him of the time he liked Nya. But now he had Irena, but. She wasn’t entirely his. Not yet at least.

“Don’t let her go.. Jay.. Or you’re going to miss the opportunity and regret to.. Like i’m regretting it.”

Jay looked Cole in the eye as Cole looked back at him with a sad smile.

“Cole.. I…”

Cole shook his head again.

“Don’t feel bad for me.. You should worry about comforting Aelia.. She needs someone… She needs you.”

Jay nodded. Cole was right. He shouldn’t be standing here worried when he could be doing something for her.

“Thank you Cole.. And.. Please dont wait until it’s too late for Irena.. We all know how much you like each other…”

Before Cole could respond, Jay ran off towards the direction Irena and Aelia went, leaving the male to stand there before letting out a quiet laugh.

“You dork.. You’re right..”

꒷︶ ̇ ̟ ෆ ‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿ ෆ ̟ ̇ ︶꒷

Jay made his way through the crowd of civilians as he made his way towards the inside of the boat where Aelia and Irena were located. Making his way to the entrance he noticed the two girls.

Irena looked up at the male as she widened her eyes. But the sight of Jay made her smile as she motioned him to stay out for a second.

“Aelia.. I will be back in a minute. Hold still..”

Irena got up quietly from her spot as she made her way towards the entrance before patting Jays back.

“Good luck..” She whispered out to the male before she walked back to the deck of the boat leaving the two alone.

Jay felt his words get caught in his mouth as he slowly walked towards the girl who sat down on the floor with lifeless eyes. He didn’t know what to say. What could he say? The girl he felt connected to looked like a doll. Lifeless.

Bending down next to her, the male sat in Irena’s spot.

“Hey..”

Aelia didn’t move, nor did she look at him. She simply looked gone as she continued to stare down at the ground. Dried up tears were evident on her cheeks and her eyes were swollen.

“Aelia.. Please.. Look at me..” Jay muttered out. Aelia didn’t budge making Jay worry.

Placing his hand under her chin Jay tilted her face to look up at him. Aelia’s red eyes stared back into Jay’s. Her body was cold. Scarily cold. As if she had Zane’s elemental powers.

“Aelia.. I’m… So sorry..”

Aelia continued to stare at the male. Her face never making any changes in expressions as her eyes dart along his face. He was worried.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.. I..”

Aelia blinked owlishly at the sudden revelation. What did Jay mean. She didn’t know.

The girl ran her tongue over her dry lips as she watched Jay’s eyes dart down towards them before immediately glancing back up at her.

“I..”

Aelia shook her head slightly..

“Don’t apologize.. You have.. nothing to be sorry for..” Aelia said hesitantly as he stared back at the male. She knew now what he meant but she wasn’t so sure..

“Everything.. It’s..”

Jay hurriedly placed his hand over her mouth as tears pricked his eyes.

“You’re wrong Aelia. Everything is not going to be okay so don’t say that to me!..”

Jay cupped Aelia’s face in both of his hands as tears began to run down his cheek.

“It’s not okay.. It’s not.. You loved him.. And…”

Jay paused making Aelia curiously glance at the male. His ears were

slightly red as he held her eye.

“It’s.. Its not okay.. You’re not okay..”

Aelia only nodded slowly, agreeing with the male’s words before placing her hands on the underside of Jay’s.

“You’re right.. It’s.. not okay..”

Jay hesitantly placed his forehead against the females as she sucked in a harsh breath.

“J-Jay..?” Aelia muttered out dumbfounded as she felt her face warm.

“Can we just.. Stay like this for a moment.. Please…” Jay begged out quietly making the girl pause before nodding quietly..

“We can..”

Jay felt relief wash over his body as he wrapped the girl in his embrace. He smiled into her hair as he held her close to his chest.

Aelia felt.. Safe.. In the males embrace.. It felt.. Right.. This felt right.. This moment felt right to her..

“Jay..” Aelia quietly muttered out.

Jay pulled away from the girl before he locked eyes with her. A confused glance on his face as she smiled at him.

“Thank you..”

Jay’s eyes sparkled slightly. He pulled Aelia back into his embrace with a smile on his face.

“Anytime.. Aelia...”

‘ . ៸៸ For Saturn <3 (@peachop)

━ © LUCSTARZ ,, 2023

[smolcuriouskitten]

My Guardian Angel

The horrifying bomb will never leave my head. Followed by the sounds of my citizens screaming and running for cover will haunt me forever. Waking up with a start, I ran to check on my girls, since their safety was my priority. Looking at the window in the girls rooms, I see flames and objects raining down like it was the middle of the apocalypse. Rockelle looked up at me with a look of horror and went to grab Renelle who started crying from the noise. "Mommy, whats going on?" She asks, her voice shaking as she soothed Renelle and I felt my heart break right there.

"We can walk and talk, follow me!" I responded, holding her hand with a vice grip, not wanting to let her go, even for a minute. As I rushed to the emergency bunker, I explain what happened. Our enemy planet Derion was at war with us, I explained how they have wanted to drain us of our resources and threatened to harm us for our powers. Witches auras were a commodity worth killing for, the amount of concentrated power could be used to make weapons and hypnosis would be so easy with the help of our auras.

Nekoian had unlimited power sources and teachings to help the witches regulate themselves, which is why I fought so hard with Derion to not go to war with us over it. That promise was broken the moment they threatened my childrens lives. Their older brother was hiding away on Earth to keep himself safe as he is the eldest and most powerful witch and they were not gonna lay a hand on my son. When we reached the emergency space ship, I kiss Rockelle on the forehead, ignoring the citizens pleas for help for the moment. "My darling flower. I need you to be brave okay? Watch after your sister and keep yourselves safe. Im sorry, you guys have to go to Earth without me." I held her face and kissed her forehead, tears running down my face.

Her pleas and questions fell on deaf ears. Her pleas to stay and help and why did she have to go to earth. "Why cant we stay here with you mommy?" Her little voice called after me as I grabbed supply bags making me sob, throwing them in the little space ship. "You cant baby. You will get hurt if you stay. We dont have much time.." I said, grabbing two language potions, turning them into little gummies for them. "Open your mouth my love." I instructed Rockelle and she complied, they both chewed the gummy and made an icky face. "I know it doesnt taste the best but it would help you when you land. You know how to feed Renelle and change her diaper?" Rockelle nods as I instruct her to sit in the ship, buckling a cooing Renelle in the ship seat.

"I love you both. I will see you guys soon okay?" My hand shook as they pressed art the control panel and closed the ships doors. "Bye bye mommy." I look over and see Renelle waving with her little hand as the ship shoots into space. That was her first word. Those were her first words. I want to crumble into a ball and cry, not move an inch and mourn the fact I could possibly never see my daughters again. But there were citizens I had to save and people to help. The castle shook with a vicious boom, I ran outside to see the planet I loved in flames.

The once beautiful and full of life planet I called home was reduced to rubble and flames. Bodies laid at the stairs of the castle and it was all so traumatic to see, rushing to help those I could. Some couldnt be saved and I hated watching them wither away in my arms. The citizens were dropping at a rate I couldnt help them anymore. The fountains for healing were sucked dry and the planet was burning at a rate no one could keep up with. I accepted my fate, I accepted that I would no longer be able to help anyone and I would die alongside my citizens. A just death for a queen who failed to protect them in the first place.

Then a hand roughly grabbed my arm, another bomb narrowly missing me. "RENIA. WE HAVE TO GO!" The voice called with a rushed tone and my ears were still ringing from the blast, the dust and rubble filling my lungs making me cough and hack. I didnt know who grabbed me until I seen those converse and blue suit. The Doctor.

My husband was preparing to fight in the war and my fingers were bleeding from how much I was biting my nails. He just enlisted and it broke my heart knowing it was a death sentence but he insisted. "What kind of husband would I be if I didnt fight for my beautiful wife and children?" He placed his hand on my stomach and kissed my forehead.

Even though it put me at ease for a moment, a chill ran up my spine knowing the truth. "I know my love but if you arent here for Rockelles birth, I will kick your butt." I joke and we both share a laugh as he packs his things to prepare. I slowly make my way downstairs and hear that familiar creaking noise. I rush outside to greet my old friend, happy he came by. I waited outside of the blue box's doors and hugs him tightly once he steps out. "Goodness someone was happy to see me. How are we dear?" He asks and pets my head before hugging me back.

"I am wonderful! Raymond is heading off in a bit for the war but Chris is in school and..." I gently take his hand and press it on my belly. "I am expecting another very soon." I tell him with a bright smile on my face and his eyes light up, a wide grin stretched across his face. "You are huge! Congratulations! And here I thought you wanted to join me in some adventures!" He teases before wrapping me in another hug making me wheeze but I pat his back. Some people would say he was strange or a mad man but I didnt care. He was my friend!

"I would if I wasnt a queen of a planet my love! Too many responsibilities I would miss!" I wheeze out, he releases me and I laugh. "Those responsibilities could be done so much faster if time was not so slow! Being a timelord, I have no patience. So what about this war? What did I miss?" He rambles and I giggle, pointing to a nearby power fountain. "It takes time to learn patience and even if you are a timelord, you cant rush it! But they are fighting us over those." He pauses and looks in the direction she points at.

"A water fountain? Such a strange thing to fight over." I snort and laugh, shaking my head. "No no, not that kind of fountain! Its what our powers come from, they want complete control over our magic! The magic we have is powerful so they want to use it for their own gain. I am going to send Chris to Earth in the name of protection soon, they are wanting his head on a stake for his powers since hes the eldest." I explain, him nodding and humming with every word. "Earth? Why do you want to send him away? Seems like a bad idea if you dont have anyone to look after him." The doctor replied and I shook my head.

"I have my connections. I frequent Earth more often than you think. They cant track him there either so he would be safe." I respond and make a gesture to the castle. "If you like you can come in for a bit! I wanted your opinion on some converse inspired by you." I offer and he hums, tapping his chin. "Have you redecorated since the last time I was here?" He asks and I roll my eyes. "I dont want to hear anything from a man who lives in a telephone box. Come on love, we are burning daylight!" I grab his hand and pull him along, the goofy smile was prominent on his face.

"And I dont wanna hear anything from anyone who has to drink milk. Milk is disgusting, I dont understand how you drink it! Tastes like sadness and slime." He gags and Renia snorts. "Do you want me to make a ginger joke? Or lack there of?" She quips and he gasps, looking offended.

"HEY!"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! MY CITIZENS, DOCTOR PLEASE!" I yelled but he didnt stop running. As much as I wanted to stop and fight, use my magic to put me as a statue, I was too weak to do so. My magic was drained and I needed to recharge. "DOCTOR LISTEN TO ME!" I kept pleading but Im practically pushed into the Tardis, door slammed in my face as I tried to crawl out. He stayed silent as he fiddles with the Tardis and gets us out of there.

I wasnt thinking clearly. All I could focus on was the citizens I failed and how my death would have been justified. To die alongside my people as I lived alongside them, it was the only thing I could do to fix the sin of not being able to save everyone. "You idiot! What did you do?! Why did you have to save me?! WHY?!" I got up and began to fuss, hitting his back and crying.

This is when he grabs my shoulders and looks at me with a look of disappointment. "Why do all of you want to die so bad? I swoop in and help and here I am getting beat up! That isnt fair Renia now is it?" Despite his anger and how tightly he held me, his voice was calm. He was always so calm and in that moment it did nothing but piss me off. "I should have died along side them! I failed them, I failed everyone and my damn daughters are floating somewhere in space and I dont know what right I did at this point I...I.." At this point, my face was red and hot, tears coated my soot dusted face and I couldnt form a sentence. My tears, snot, and saliva was causing me to gargle and mess up my words.

He sighs and just holds me in his arms and I screamed. I screamed and cried, hitting his arms and sides with not a single bit of force because of how weak I was. Despite my flailing and screaming, he kept holding me. He didnt let go. He just held me there and let me release how I felt in that moment. It was the lowest moment of my life and all I could do was scream and cry into his chest.

After who knows how long, I calmed down. It wasnt by much, I was shaking and crying but the screaming subsided. My throat felt rough so I couldnt bring myself to keep doing it. He pulls away to look at me and held my face in both of his hands, not caring about my tears or snot getting on him. "Feel better now?" He asked calmly and I gave a nod in between my stifled cries. "Come on, lets go get you cleaned up. Your face is puffy and dirty and if you rub your eye you may get dirt in it." He comments and leads me to the TARDIS bathroom where I washed my face and he washes his hands.

He leads me to a common room and sits on the couch, patting the seat next to him. I sat next to him, doing those stupid 'aftershock cries' shaking. "Are you ready to talk about it?" He asks and I took a deep breath. "This morning....they attacked. The attacked the entire planet and I had to get my girls out of there. Once they were out in space, I tried to save everyone...I couldnt do it." I began to get choked up and he rubs my shoulder. "I accepted my death. It was...It was fate. I accepted that was the last time I would see my daughters alive and I would die on the planet, never to be seen again." The Doctor held me in his arms again and I couldnt cry, I just felt numb at this point.

"Ya know...Renelle, she said her first word...before she launched. My heart broke into pieces as I seen her little hand wave at me..." I admitted and the Doctor strokes my hair, scratching a bit at the scalp. "Im sorry Renia." He responds shortly and pulls away to look at me. I cover my face and shake my head, embarrassed that he had to see me this way. My eyes were puffy and red and my face was stained with tears. "Oi, I just seen you at your lowest point, no need to be embarrassed. Im just glad you got you and the kiddos out of there safely." He said in a hushed tone, gently pulling my hands away from my face.

"Doctor...How will I know they are okay? My...my aura it can't trace in space and I will be worried sick and I-" I began to ramble, hyperventilating and starting the panic attack all over again until the Doctor takes my hand. "Renia. Now you know that theres a way for me look after them." He explained and I tilt my head. "What are you referring to?" I respond and he leads me back upstairs, to a tablet outstretched for viewing. He pushes a few buttons and sure enough, the little spaceship they had was flying to Earth. My girls were safe.

I looked over at the Doctor and he had a pleasant grin on his face. "Now will you stop your crying? I thought I would have to hold you like a baby for awhile." He teases and I snort, hitting his arm. "You better shut up before I make that converse into your pacifier." I stick my tongue out at him then he chuckles. "Oi!" He fusses back which I promptly laugh.

"Wait...what were you doing on Nekoian? Today seems like a weird day to travel." Renia asks as she sniffles, wiping her nose with some tissue. The Doctor pauses then leans against the controls. His head hung low for a bit then he looks at her. "I was doing a routine visit until I seen the bomb. I thought I was at the wrong planet for a moment until I landed. I only noticed you because you were the only one actively helping people." He admits, my heart breaking at that notion. "W...what?" I could feel my mouth dry as those words left my lips.

"Everyone else was scrambling to grab resources. Running to milk the planet dry for themselves, even in their last moments. I suppose humanity does have a strange way of acting when they know they are going to die." He continued and his gaze returns to mine, which my vision was blurred from tears. "Why did you pull me away then? I could have helped them Doctor I...I could have gotten them to safety!" I pleaded and he gave me a look through a narrowed gaze.

"Does Nekoian have any safety protocols?" He asks and I shake my head. "Not for bombs no." I reply. "How would you have gotten everyone off the planet then? So you could save them? Where would they have gone Renia? Remember, you gave your daughters the last ship off the planet." He reminded me and I could feel the lump in my throat as I cried. "Dont you judge me, we could have raised together and defeated them and rebuilt!" I pleaded then he averts his gaze.

"Renia. There wouldnt have been anything to rebuild. There wouldnt have been enough time, you didnt have enough time. If I didnt come within enough time, your planet would have been reduced to atoms. Im sorry but there was nothing you could have done." He explained and I sobbed. "No...I created everything with my bare hands and those bastards took it away from me!" I stomp, then wipe my eyes, sniffling. I look over at the screen with my girls...They were still safe.

"Listen to me. You may not have been able to save everyone, believe me, you are looking at the captain of losing people, but you kept the two that mattered the most to you safe." He motions toward the screen and I nod, smiling a bit at it. "Even if you dont save everyone, you still do good by keeping the universe safe. Such a big task for one man in a box." I said looking over at him which he shakes his head with a chuckle. "Im supposed to be comforting you, not the other way around." He responds with folded arms and I snort. "Oh hush, we can kill two birds with one stone." I respond and give him a hug. "Even if I am still royally pissed off at you, I will thank you for bringing me the peace of mind that my daughters are safe. I may not thank you today for what you did but I will another time." I admit and he pats my back.

"You are welcome." He responds and presses his head on top of mine then pulls away. "Now, how about we meet your daughters on Earth? Allonsy!" He then hops over to the Tardis controls and laughs as we both are briefly tossed around, the joyous sound filling the air. Despite how angry or sad or depressed I was in that moment, it was good to smile for a moment. It took away the stress and the pain and I looked over at the screen to see my daughters voyage. It brought comfort knowing I had someone this amazing in my circle.

[spatio-rift]

liveblogging i did in my notes app

first 25 minutes are really just nothingburger after nothingburger… no story or anything just 3 songs to introduce each group of characters in the story…

the villain has kind of a gay vibe but i dont like how he sings…. wait actually he talks the exact same way… he just lifts one corner of his mouth it pisses me off

also i dont like his 2014 ass hair

i dont understand whats going on. who is this kid. what is this tournament. im seriously so confused omfg what is going on

wait are the kids already dating . shouldnt they have said something about this first. IM SO CONFUSED

what tf is this "symbol"… why are they building it… I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON what is the point of this song

is it still part of the introductory song compilation… for robin hoods companions or something

40 minutes in i still dont know what kind of story this is supposed to tell

this is a romantic duet but this girl is having a yuri experience with the forest girls at the same time it makes me laugh

the villain is like florent mothes salieri but hes too much of a diva so i dont like it as much

literally what tf is going on

this show is crazy they have songs about the most nothing moments but beats of the story that would be awesome if they progressed through song are completely silent or skipped entirely

i do think the shadows sequence looks really interesting

m pokora get up theyre taking away your son im sorry but you need to leave your wife behind shes only injured the villain is going to straight up kill the kid. hes who youre fighting for remember

m pokora has a crazy look in his eyes its so funny to me

im so pissed off m pokora abandoned his kid. that poor kid… right after he sang this whole number about him too

this diva always has his two shirtless men around so funny

i think this is a notre dame de paris type musical where there is a MINIMAL amount of talked dialogue however at least notre dame de paris has sung dialogue separate from bangers to make the story progress robin des bois is pretty much just 99% radio bangers so i DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON

the villains cunty little boob window and skirt ..

the kid only ever sings about his love but there was no context to that love im so over it

???? random anachronistic daft punk joke??

they skipped an interesting story beat to sing a nothingburger song again

why did they kill the cool black man. honestly thats on me i wasnt paying attention. but also why is the monk singing a homoerotic song about it. im sorry you lost your boyfriend mr tuck

caressing his face and holding his hand and all….. talking about the two of them being invicible and together forever…. sobbing into his chest… i think he just kissed him hello

i really do hate these 2014 haircuts sooo fucking badly

did they kill the bad guy??? when?????

why does the monk have so many songs i dont even know who he is and where he fits into the whole story

nevermind the villainous diva is there and chained up… lowkey sexily

what am i watching i seriously dont know whats going on where are they… is that the king…. are they getting married…. is the diva good now??? why is he being a good father ??? WHAT IS HAPPENING

i know this song i remember it. aujourd'hui on dit qu'il est temps maintenant on fait ce qu'on diitttt le jour qui se rêveeeeeee

i was waiting for the diva to show up for family time can they link arms and sing the last song tgt… no? alright …. whatever….

ok well i watched the whole show… did not understand one thing. i would still put it above 1789 on a tier list because i actually really disliked 1789s story (this one i just didnt understand) and at least robin des bois had a few bangers 1789s music is just whatever

[st4rryskiesc0]

The October-November con chronicles

That last post had me thinking about all the convention moments running around in the little brain of mine, so im posting them all there. MY BLOG MY POSTS!!!

FanX

I met a mumbo jumbo and I remember my big ear wings was in their face in the photo and i felt so bad. At least they had a little pesky bird plush they let me hold!!!

I was exhausted and nervous and saw a quackity cosplayer and so I ran up to them and said "oh my god i love your cosplay it looks so good!!" and they had friends around them and i said "all your lcosplays look so good oh my god its just so good all of you" and i just kept rambling because i was just so tired and didnt know how to human and they looked so awkward and they gave me a little casino coin as a gift and i felt so bad so im sorry if you ever see this quackity cosplayer in the pit :sob:

I met a tango and we stood in the middle of the stands area and he came up and shook my hand and we just kept shaking hands while we talked it was so fun !

THERE WERE SO MANY DREAM SMP COSPLAYERS MY GOD!!! all of them were so good though

I met a skeppy and I was like "oh my god have you found a badboyhalo yet?" THEIR FRIEND WAS BAD SOBBING CRYING THROWING UP I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE THEY WERE THERE!!! we laughed about it and moved on so it was okay :3

i met a double life impulse and Bdubs and i asked them "so ive noticed most people this year that are matching cosplay are partners, are you guys partners or just friends??" because i was trying to get a grasp on the FanX cosplayers economy and norms if that makes sense??? they were going as just friends they both had separate partners i was so embarassed sobbnig crying they understood though it wasnt a big deal

Anime Banzai

As soon as I got there I saw a wilbur soot cosplayer and went up to say hi and THERE WAS A CODFATHER JIMMY THERE!!! They recognized my Etho cosplay as *etho* and not kakashi and we just hung out the entire day it was amazing

When I first got there my spirit halloween kakashi mask was too tight because duh spirit halloween and you could see my entire mouth outline it was HORRIBLE i took back ups just in case but my only picture with codfather jimmy is with my too-tight kakashi mask and it kinda sucks ;w; it's alright though, we had so much fun it doesnt really matter

There was this little girl outside where there was a DJ type thing and she danced and the DJ danced with her and it was so cute. One of the singers from the Idol competition earlier came up and taught her how to do some dances and it was absolutely adorable, I loved it

This little kid also came up to me, codfather, and their friend cosplaying as toadette (? im not sure, i didnt ask what exactly they were all i knew was that it was amazing cosplay) with their little pochita stuffie they got and made gave us a bonk on the head with him and it was incredible and adorable

The idol competition was so cool but the announcer was ABWHEYGUTF it was... strange... between every performance they said "can i get an uwu?" it was horrible SOBBING CRYING it was still so fun though, he was very charming besides for that whole fiasco

during that same cosplay ocmpetition i didnt really know how to cheer???? i dont know, same thing as Fanx where I was exhausted and nervous and i just completely forgot how to person

this older guy came up to me and said "okay whats with the canada??" because for my etho cosplay I had a canada patch on my arm and I had to explain to him "im so sorry im not kakashi its a completely different character" and he walked away so confused and i felt so bad because he was an older lad and i felt like id just blown his mind and it was so awkward

thats it, fanx and anime banzai were so fun and im so glad I went :DD i met so many fun people and everyone was so nice !!

[shuichi1-1]

How would the agents react to you actually dying on a mission.

This is not proofread!

Characters: Fade, Harbor and Sova

Warnings: Death, mentions of injuries and grieving.

Sova

He locks himself away in his bedroom, only ever goes out if its nessecary.

Way more quiet if he is out on missions and more strict while training.

If anybody mentions your name, he gets pissed off and tells the person to not say your name.

He will overwork himself tracking down the mirror agent who killed you

He doesnt understand why Sage cant revive you and blamed it on her, but she understands.

When he visits his grandmother, all he does is cry in here embrace like a little kid.

He knew this job meant risks but he didnt expect you to take such a huge one and dont make it.

He keeps a picture of you on his nightstand and when he is lonely, he talks to the dark sky while holding the framed photo.

He would have bittersweet conversitations with Brimstone, as he was like a father to you, about the things you liked to do and your silly habits.

I imagined him as an animal lover, even though he is a hunter, he cares about animals and has a snow white bunny. He believes that the little being misses you too, wondering where youve been gone.

He would panick and blame himself for forgetting your voice, if it wasnt for the picture he has, would he forget your face too...?

He doesnt have the courage to pick up his bow for a while, thinking of you anytime he uses it.

He wont ever be in love again.

He thinks of everytime he had scolded you in training, every little or big argument you had, and blames himself that he couldve been more of a man and be kinder.

"I would give anything to be with her once again and hold her in my arms... Why did it have to be her?" He chokes out between his sobs as his grandmother softly strokes his hair. Shes trying to calm him down but it doesnt seem to work, so she lets Sova cry it out. In all honesty he imagined you several times, married, with kids possibly two, hes a family guy. He dreamed of teaching his son, or daughter the tricks of hunting in the cold motherland.

He will never really get over you.

Fade

She was preparing a gift for you as she heard a knock on her dorms door, expecting you to stand there with a smile on your face and kissing her, not Sage with a depressed face and torn clothes.

She goes silent and all emotions disappear from her face, a dark aura sorrounded her and poor Sage had terrible nightmares after.

She was always a woman of a few words but after your death she doesnt speak a thing, only snaps at someone who is annoying her.

The whole team has nightmares for months but none of them are brave enough to talk to her about it.

Sage delivered her the matching evil eye ring that she gave you on your first anniversary and she keeps it in a box together with hers.

She goes crazy on the mission after, destroying the battlefields.

She often thinks at the times you did Henna together, the way you smiled when she gave you matching items.

She has several pictures above the bed but she cant look at them for too long because she gets emotional.

She thinks its silly but herself and even the cats she owns, doesnt lay on the side of the bed you used to.

When she grievs, her cats all look behind her shoulder and she feels a strange sensation there, she likes to think that youre still looking out for her and the felines can see you.

"Seni öldürenin ölmesinden başka dileğim yok aşkım/I wish nothing but death upon the one who killed you, my love.. Ill revenge you and torture them a hundred times more painfull." She says while a single tear fell down her face. She stands in a dark room, filled with cameras and the mirror Cypher sitting anxiously on a chair in the middle. She rips his mask off and all followed was painfull screams and so on. None of the agents had the courage to ask, and the mirrors didnt show up for a while.

She spends her life grieving for you.

Harbor(couldnt find a gif)

He most likely experienced loss of loved ones but yours was a surprise, seeing you were an agent and could handle yourself.

It had been 2 years since he joined the protocol and your one year anniversary, that day you and him were out on a mission on Split and he left you alone while rotating to the other side.

He didnt notice you not catching up, after a while he heard a scream and smoke coming from A site heaven.

He rushed there with his wall up and gun out, but all he saw was you trying to breathe through the coughs.

Only emotion on his face is a sickly worried one, hes panicking and calling for Skye to heal you.

Back up didnt arrive on time and Skye was too injured to heal you.

He felt your heartbeat stop and you died with a smile on your face, in his arms.

He shouted your name several times and screamed, that scream made everyone want to cry, it waa full of sadness and loss.

He never seemed to have a real smile after, he tried to keep his golden retriever energy but it never seemed to be the same

He just couldnt accept that you were dead, he hoped you were just away and will come in through the door one day and smile at him once more.

But that didnt ever happen.

"Riptide, i know you are just joking. Please come home now, its not funny anymore. I utterly miss you, come back to me finally.. Its my fault, isnt it?.."

He laughed while clutching the clothing on his chest and tears pouring down his face, his hair was a mess and he was holding onto the plush you always slept with. He cant look at phoenix without seeing that smug smile while the mirror him left the fire lit place you died at.

You were the fire girl to his water boy, now hes alone again.

I apologize if Harbor and Fade is ooc but ive never written for them, im sorry ;;

[urpersonalprettyboy]

Hey Pb, I’ve got a request for you. What were to happen if reader was able to escape from Yan! Mortician? How would he react and how soon would he find them if they had help? You can keep reader gn if you like.

Miss 🍯

YAN!MORTICIAN when you escape

It was late at night, you're beloved Mortician had been long asleep by that time. He had been so kind to you recently, moving you guys to a comfy and quaint house, where he let you roam freely and do as you pleased (with a few exceptions).

Though you had one thing in mind, even with all of the niceties, you still couldn't bring it in you to love him, so you decided tonight was the time to leave. You gently climbed out of bed, praying that your movements dont wake him as your feet finally hit the cold hard-wood floor, slightly flinching at the creaks as you set your weight down.

You hadn't planned on taking anything with you, there was nothing here you needed, your Mortician didn't even have any phones, at least not ones you know of. The clothes on your body was all you were going to take as you quietly snuck out of the room, then out of the house all together.

Once you felt the cold chill of the midnight air, you suddenly started sprinting into the deep woods that surrounded the house. You had no clue where you were going, you just sprinted until you couldn't anymore. You were not able to find your way out of the woods, sadly, it seemed as if your Mortician planned on you running away.

You sat yourself down against a tree, huffing as you tried to catch your breath. Leaning your head back against the tree behind you as you eventually felt tears wet your eyes. You were never going to get out of this, were you?

Thats all you could remember until everything went black.

You woke up once again to the sounds of shoes crunching against the earths floor, you frantically got up and started making a run for it but was quickly stopped by an arm tightly wrapped around your waist and another covering your mouth. You struggled against the arms, causing them to grow tighter, "Hush now, Pumpkin," your Mortician spoke, "If you keep struggling Im going to have to hurt you, and I dont think either of us want that."

The threat made you stop, and let out a small sob into his hand, going limp as he then picked you up over his shoulder. At this point you didn't want to fight, you knew it'd all be useless and you'd end up back and that house again. You were wasting your energy trying to run away and he had tried to remind you of that again and again. You finally decided to listen.

The walk wasn't as long as you thought it would be, only around 10 minutes. You thought you ran farther than that but apparently time slows down when you're in fear. The Mortician pushed open the door with his boot, kicking the boots off as he walked inside. He sat you down on a couch and looked you over, checking your body for any bruises or cuts before he sighed.

"Im very cross with you, Pumpkin. Not only did you try to run away from the life we've built but you could of been seriously hurt," He mumbled, before picking you up once again and bringing you to you shared room, locking the bedroom door behind him. He slipped you off of his shoulder into a small cushioned chair as you continued to just sob and go limp. He grabbed a rope from a box below the bed, trying it around your limbs to the chair, "Honey, you're gonna have to stay here until you regain my trust, alright? Im not angry, but you really hurt me with your actions and you need to think about what you've done," He spoke, his fingers holding your chin forcing you to look up at him.

"I love you, and I know deep down you love me. You're just scared, darling, and I can understand that," The Mortician kissed your forehead, moving one of his hands up to wipe away your tears, "I'll make you some of your happy food, alright? You sit here and calm down and I'll be back."

You knew he normally laced the food with anti-depressants, depending on how you've been, he'd lace the food with other medications but you caught him once with the anti-depressants so that you know for sure. There was nothing you could do about it at this point though, nothing but cry.

You were horrified, fuck, you were never gonna get out of here.

[rinrinx2]

Ok so we all know that shinichiro is a big family guy. He loves his family and would love to have kids with his s/o. So I wanted to request a fic where reader and shin are married and are trying for a baby but it hasn’t been successful so they go to a doctor to see what’s wrong. It turns out that reader can’t have kids. Obviously she didn’t know but it’s heartbreaking for them. Reader has been depressed after thinking that shin would leave her. Shin wouldn’t leave her because he loves her and comforts her.

Hope you like it♡

.

6: 45

Shinichiro x reader

Warnings: Kinda angst, Straight up sadness, Fluff at the end.

It must of been some sick joke your mind was playing on you as the words of the doctor played over and over in your mind like some tormenting movie that you were forced to watch.

"I'm sorry Mrs Sano but you're unable to bare a child"

The clear expression of the doctor with her soft saddened smile as she revealed the reason why you were struggling to fall pregnant etched into your memory. The image only causing more tears to spill from your eyes.

Your heart was sucken to the deepest pits within unable to come to terms that you would never have a child. You would never be able to hold a being that you carried for 9 months in your arms, you would never be a mother and to make it worst Shinichiro would never be a father.

You knew how important family was to Shinichiro, and how much he wanted one of his own. So, now with this reality presented infront of you, you knew what would be the outcome causing you to cry even more as you mourned a child you would never know.

'It's only a matter of time' your mind told you.

Your knew that once you would break the news to Shinichiro that soon, he would depart permanent from you. What was the use of being with a woman who couldn't even provide such a basic need and you would be alone child barren and with no hand to hold or shoulder to cry on.

The thought alone causing more tears to fall like a crashing wave on the rough rocks of the shore.

So heartbroken that you hadn't even heard your husband enter what was supposed to be your shared bedroom.

"Hey (Y/N) you see my wrench" he asked looking over at your figure. Your figure that was hunched over, with your hands covering your beautiful face as the most heart breaking sobs emitted from your lips.

Quickly Shinichiro moved to sit beside you, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull your closer, as you peaked through your fingers to see the worried expression on his face causing fresh tears to spill like a waterfall.

"What's wrong (Y/N)" Shinichiro asked softly waiting for your response; but he waited in vain as he was only met with silence and the sound of your tears.

"Are you sad because I ate the last pudding"

"I'm sorry I ate the last pudding I didn't mean to but I was so hungry and work was running late so I just-"

"I'm not sad about the pudding" you sniffled out with a laugh. Even when you were sad he was able to make you laugh, you would miss this quality of his so much, the thought alone drowning out the laughter that had escaped your lips.

"Then what's bothering you (Y/N)?" Shinichiro asked again.

You could hear the worry in his voice as he asked, and it only made your heart break further. How cruel it would be to break the news to him, like snatching away the kne joy he wanted.

"I dont wanna say you'll hate me" you said through tears.

"Come on (Y/N) there's nothing in this world you could do that would make you hate me, okay maybe if you ate the last pudding I'd be upset but I'd never hate you"

And as you heard Shinichiro words your confidence came back slowly, and yet there was still apart of your mind that told you that once you told him he would never be the same, he would never be yours again. Yet you knew it would be selfish to keep him in a world full of delusions only to one day have it ripped from below his feet.

So,with a deep breath and a mind full of doubt, you slowly removed your hands from your face. Your eyes now starring into his his as you spoke yourself into the future that you were terrified to be in.

"I can't have a child" You said hurriedly, forcing the words to come out in one breath.

"You mean you don't want one" Shinichiro said his eyes flickering down, his face painted with disappointment and hurt and you knew now what would be his next words.

'It's going to happen now' your mind said preparing you for the moment he would say he no longer wished to share a bed with you or a life.

"I thought you we agreed that we'd have a child and we'd have our own little family, could you please tell me why you don't want a child anymore?"

"Shinichiro it's not that I don't want one, I physically can't have one. The doctor said I'm unable to bare a child" You said as the repeated words of the doctor reached your ears again now coming from your own voice causing tears to spill once again.

Now both the pain of not being able to have a child and the stark realization that your husband was going to leave you were the reasons for the trail of tears streaming down your cheeks.

"(Y/N) I know this must be a very difficult thing for you to hear, and I want you to know that I'll be here for you, I'll be someone who you can really on for support, a hand to hold and shoulder to cry on when things feel to tough, I'll always be here for (Y/N) ... and as for us, we'll be fine. Just because you can't have a child doesn't mean we can't have one. We can adopt a child and as long as we love and care for it, it doesn't matter if it's not biologically ours or not as long as we have each other that's all that matter" Shinichiro said as his hand grabbed yours as his eyes starred into yours.

"You're not going to leave me?" You quietly asked, the fear of him still leaving you still heavily sitting on your mind.

"I didn't marry you to be a breeding machine, I married you because I wanted you to the the first person I see in the morning and the last at night. I married you because I love you and I don't want to live a life where you're not in it. I don't care about the rest, I just want you (Y/N).

And finally for the first time that day a smile finally appeared on your face at hearing Shinichiro's words.

Slowly your arms wrapped around his shoulders embracing him in a hug. You truly had married the kindest man in the world willing to accept and love you no matter what. No matter the hardships he would be beside you.

"I love you, Shinichiro"

"I love you too, (Y/N) ... besides now I don't need to use a rubber when we do it.

.

.

.

All rights reserved to @rinrinx2

[skazoo]

bloody rose.

↳ huh yunjin x gn!reader

she killed you and it felt like a kiss.

length. 0.9k

genre. dystopian!au, lovers to enemies 🤭🤭, angst🫶🏼

warnings/tags. language, violence, mention of blood and wounds (cuts, scratches, bruises), brain washing :(

networks. @kflixnet

notes. for my beloved girlfriend (yunjin, real) i offer this angsty sad drabble adapted from a very angsty and sad dream i had 🤲🏼 also, i hope it's as pain inducing as i wanted it to be!!! wanna see the tears and hear the cries guys :)

was listening to ultraviolence (yes i'm yet again in my lana period dont talk to me)

i'm desperate for feedback and i love comments with your opinion!

(cross-posted on ao3 only)

navigation

it hurts. 

not the deep cuts in your arms that burn; the cold air lashes at them as you fly through the trees of the dark forest. trees that feel alive, closing on you as soon as you pass them.

not the sprained ankle that pulses under your weight with every hurried step you take.

not the bruises on your ribs, glaring and purple, peeking from the thin layer of your shirt.

what hurts is running away from her. feeling your throat burn as you try to escape her. hearing her inhumanly quick steps thumping on the forest’s ground, chasing after you, not willing to stop before she gets to you. that is what’s causing you so much pain.

you make the mistake of turning your head. a shiver runs up your back when you catch her uncovered eye glaring at you, iris burning a deep red, so different from what you were used to.

before they took her everything was perfect in its imperfection. joining the rebellion together, fighting for what you believed in —for your lives— getting to sleep beside her on the small and uncomfortable cots scattered around the rebel base. in your shackled existence of tyrannies and dystopian dictators, that was the first taste of freedom you were ever graced with and when they took it away from you, ripping it– her from your hands clawing at the body of your friends struggling to keep you from following the metal soldiers holding her unconscious body, that’s when you died for the first time.  

weeks passed and before today you’d only seen her once. her right eye covered by a black eyepatch, her left void of emotion, a metal patch over her heart, her modified body a shell of what your yunjin used to be. 

you’d watched, hidden behind the tall trees that lined the edge of the forest behind you, holding your breath as she’d made her way through the ruins of what you’d called home. the rebellion headquarters reduced to rubble by bombs during the night, mangled bodies scattered around and white dust of debris still settling in the first light of the day.

heeseung had covered your mouth with his hand to muffle the sobs that had threatened to rip from your throat, dragging you away, deep in the coniferous forest, a trembling eunchae following close behind. 

after a week of running, you’d hoped they’d lost your tracks but the metal clinking echoing through the forest waking you up from a restless sleep had told you otherwise.

now you run again, with all your might, towards your uncertain goal. you can’t even see where you’re going, only following heeseung’s breathless pants in the night as he holds eunchae’s hand tightly in his.

it’s their pained screams as they unexpectedly tumble down a steep slope of leaves, fallen branches, and friable rocks, that make you freeze. 

you hear eunchae cry as the older boy tries to get her to move again, tears in his eyes, shushing the girl who's the key to the rebellion's success with a panicked expression.

the forest becomes eerily quiet. the sound of the night swallowed by the ringing of suspense in your ears.

behind you, the metallic steps of yunjin and the soldiers have ceased, and you turn around slowly; your whole body shuddering from the anticipation of what certainly feels like the end. death by her hands.

under the light of the moon —voyeuristic and cold— that tries to penetrate the layers of pine needles, everything loses its outline. lost the right direction and standing in a pool of black the only thing that’s left for you to do is buy your friends some time. you can already hear eunchae’s heartbroken sobs as she adds you to the list of people —friends, family— that sacrificed their lives for her. you can feel heeseung’s hate, his helpless disappointment as you leave him to reach the finish line alone. but there, in the silence, bloody and tired, you smile at the future that they’ll see if your martyr does its job.

a past you’re not getting back, a future that’s not yours to live. is life loss? will death be a victory? a prize?

the question spoken into the universe gets no answer. you open eyes that you didn't realize were closed and you’re met with red.

she stands immobile, immovable. a breath between you. straight back, head high, hands tense by her sides.

“yunjin…”

silent, she stares at you– past you, and your hands can’t help but find her face. they trace her jaw, her cheeks. you don’t know who you’re trying to ground into reality.

“yunjin, please look at me. it’s me, it’s– it’s Y/N. please, i miss you so much.” so close yet so far away.

she doesn’t answer and your trembling mouth reaches for the corner of her mouth, then for the mole on her nose, for the center of her forehead and the tears flowing freely from your eyes fall on her face.  

“i love you, please. i’m sorry.” for what? “come back to me.” words a whispered sob, just for her to hear.

it hurts. the void in her eyes.

"my baby..."

love is blind hope. hope that she’ll wake up and remember herself and the life she had before they took her. hope that your memory is stronger than any mind prison they put her in.

a single bloody tear slowly makes its way down her left cheek. the last thing you see before her metal hand strikes you. 

you drift to darkness. second death.

[soft4gguk]

"boyfriend of my dreams" pt. 3

Pairing: jungkook x reader

Genre: college au. pwp. smut. strangers to lovers (or are they?)

Word count: 8.6k

Warnings: . angst, angst, angst :(, oc mean agenda (pls dont give up on her yet!!!), jungkook truly best boy, oral (m. receiving), fingering, lil dry humping, protected sex!, multiple orgasms, aftercare *sobs* want him so bad y'all.

Author’s note: I loved writing this. I got so immersed in it and I couldn't stop. I love this jungkook and I love their dynamic, even if it literally pains me to write it sometimes. I listened to my ultimate sad Taylor swift songs playlist whilst writing this. and 'this love' played on loop more times than I'll admit - but you'd have to read to know just how much. thank u for being here, I appreciate it more than I'll ever be able to say. I love u guys sm. <3333 xx & loads of o's.

This is a work of fiction. Please respect the members and their privacy. x

pt. 3

Jungkook’s head spins – he can quite literally feel the heaviness that comes with it, and it engulfs his entire body in that hazy feeling. His head hits the wall, eyes closing as his chest heaves, running a hand through his hair. You don’t waste any time, too desperate to feel his skin on yours, fingers skimming up his thighs. Your bottom lip gets caught between your teeth as they inch closer to the waistband of his grey sweatpants. You haven’t touched him yet, so it’s unclear to you if he’s hard, but the outline of his cock through the thin material makes your mouth water. It’s when you hook your fingers inside the elastic that Jungkook’s eyes snap open, looking down at you. You’re looking at him, a darkened gaze adorning your pretty eyes and even with the slight touch of your knuckles at his hipbone, you’re driving him crazy enough to almost not question this whole thing.

Almost. 

“Wait, wait…” his voice is gentle, soft.

“What?”

He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know why he stopped you, or what he wants to say. All he knows is that there’s a franticness about your actions that doesn’t feel quite right to him. Like you’re running from something that would be too uncomfortable to walk on. 

“Are you- is everything okay?” Is all he can muster instead.

“I was just about to give you head, and you stopped me to small talk. I think I should be asking you that.”

You get up from your kneeling position on the floor, ego clearly bruised as you cross your arms in front of your chest – an act that seems childish to Jungkook and it’s then he’s glad he stopped you. 

“I’m sorry. I- fuck. I want you to- do that. Very much so. It’s just… I don’t get you, ___.”

“What do you want to get? What is there to get?” You grow exasperated, eyes avoiding his. 

“I don’t know, that’s the thing. Do you want to come in?”

“No.”

“Okay,” he says, sounding apologetic. His voice holds a world of patience that you could never hold, or have received, in your life. “We can talk here.”

“I don’t want to talk, to be honest. So, in that case, I better get going.” You turn around, still fighting yourself so as not to look at him. So as not to meet his eyes. it’s a combination of embarrassment and that same lingering feeling that you can’t quite put words on. That feeling you don’t intend on putting words on.

“You’re gorgeous. And funny. Even if it makes you a little mean sometimes. I’ve wanted you since the first time I laid eyes on you-”

You interrupt him, your piercing gaze landing on his tender one. “When? When I was trying to fuck your best buddy?”

“No. I, uh, first saw you at a party. At Yoongi’s I’m pretty sure.”

“So, what was it?”

“What do you mean?”

“What did they say to make you want me?”

“I- it wasn’t like that.”

You’re not getting anywhere with this conversation. At least nowhere that you find useful anyways. You didn’t come here to talk about feelings, much less the root of them. You sigh, rolling your eyes and feigning defeat. 

Your strategy changes.

“Listen, I came here because I owe you one.” There’s a hint of a smile playing at your lips.

“It doesn’t work like that,” he says.

“Okay, then. It’s just simple generosity. I want to fuck you. I can’t get it out of my head, so might as well get it out of my system.”

His eyes widen – it shocks him to hear you say it so bluntly like that. 

“I-”

You take a step closer to him. “Jungkook?”

“Yeah?”

“I changed my mind. I do want to come in,” your voice is sultry and he knows you’re playing. He knows you don’t want to ‘come in’ to talk, like he propositioned the first time. He’s also aware that he should do better, stand his ground. Be smarter than this. But, 

He nods. 

Your lips are on his and you kiss him exactly the way he wants you to. Slow and deep, coaxing him into it before your tongue is grazing his bottom lip as he parts his mouth, granting you entrance as your tongues meet. 

“This is all I could think about,” you say, lips never parting from his. Your tone is sensual and it buzzes electricity all through his body. “Ever since you left my car, all I could think about was kissing you.”

He doesn’t know if you’re being genuine. More so, he doesn’t know if it’s your heart or your body speaking. With the way your chest flushes to his, a little moan escaping your mouth at the feel of his taut muscles grazing your nipples, he figures it’s probably the latter. 

“Yeah?” he says, brain too foggy with lust.

“Yeah- I want you so bad.” It’s a whisper.

“Fuck.”

He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you to him. You give a little jump, wrapping your legs around his waist, holding tightly to him, wanting to feel him everywhere. He walks backwards, his free hand squeezing your ass from underneath your skirt. It’s so short, granting him easy access as he kneads the flesh. You’re soft and plump all over and now he’s the one moaning into your mouth. 

The back of his knees hit the couch and he lowers his body, sitting down with you still on top of him, straddling his lap. You let out a giggle, giddy and excited. Pleased from getting exactly what you wanted. You grind your hips tentatively against his, emitting a hiss that passes through his reddened lips. They’re so red and pretty from your kisses and bites; you let yourself stare at him, basking in the way his eyes fight to stay open. He lets you stare – he lets you look at him, cheeks flushing at your intense gaze but suddenly confident, so different like this. You circle your hips and a raspy moan leaves him, fingers digging into your hips, head hitting the back of the couch and eyes shutting close. It feels so good, even through the layers, and the mere idea of being inside you drives him wild. 

“Jungkookie,” you say, voice low. 

“Hm,” he says, eyes back to you. 

“I’m gonna blow you now.”

“Shit,” he hisses through gritted teeth. “Yeah- yes. Please.”

You palm the center of his chest, pushing him back with enough force to snap him into the moment. You make your way down, kneeling before him, sitting pretty between his legs, thighs thick and strong on your fingers and you feel your mouth water at the anticipation. Not wanting to waste any more time, your fingers hook inside the waistband of his sweatpants, pulling down. He’s not wearing anything under and you have to fight the urge not to roll your eyes – this time from pleasure, not annoyance. 

His palms push into the couch, fighting his pleasure to keep his eyes open so he can take you in – take you in through every step of the way. The moment his sweatpants come past his hips, your eyes zero in on his cock. He’s big and you don’t fight it when your eyes widen at the sight of him. But beyond that, he’s hard and pretty. Probably the prettiest in your book, a vein running from base to tip, leaking a bead of precum. He hisses the moment you wrap your hand around him, so overwhelmed from the feeling it almost feels like he’s running away from you, sinking into the couch further. He feels hot and heavy in your hold and you give a tentative stroke, gaze locked on his as you let out a little scoff. 

“You know, Jungkook…,” you start. “You don’t necessarily carry yourself in relation to your attributes.”

You’re using big words on him and he’d be lying if he said he was following. All he can think of is how warm and soft your hand feels wrapped around his cock, the way your lips move as you speak – red and plump, and he burns in anticipation thinking about how they’re going to look wrapped around him. 

“W-what do you mean?”

You don’t answer his question right away, taking him by surprise as you lower your head and wrap your pretty lips around his tip, tongue coming out to tease his slit before circling his head, eyes never leaving him. His eyes widen for a second before his lust wins the race, tightly shutting them close as he throws his head back in pleasure with a throaty moan. You take him all the way in, a quick motion that has him hitting the back of your throat and it feels so fucking good, Jungkook swears he’ll never feel this way again. His hand wraps around your neck, looking up at you with hazy eyes. 

“Fuck,” he whispers, his teeth releasing the plumpness of his bottom lip.  

You smile, pleased with yourself as you grant him pleasure, mouthful of him still as you say, “your cock is so big.”

It’s filthy. Your words, the fact that you still have him in your mouth, drool dripping down your chin and eyes watery. Your words vibrate against him and it makes his cock throb, a whine passing his lips. 

“Thanks,” is all he can manage.

“You’re welcome,” you say – another lusty smile his way. You’re so pretty like this. Scratch that, you’re so pretty always, but the image before him ticks all the boxes of the most epic wet dream he’d ever had. Fuck, it’s so good he doesn’t even think his imagination ever ran this wild. 

You resume, tongue traveling upwards as it follows that vein, it pulses for you, encouraging you to go lower, your throat closing around the head of his cock. His hand travels to your cheek as he moans, caressing softly – a little impatiently, like he’s trying to ground himself. Your name leaves his lips in a whisper as you continue your obliterating pace, the noises filling the space lewdly. 

His head draws back and his teeth sink into the pink flesh just as your tongue licks tentatively at his frenulum, the overpowering sensations making him hiss, balls feeling heavy at the wake of his pleasure. Your eyes never leave him, catching every single face he makes, every single noise you pull out of him with ease. It’s turning you on, how receptive he is – easy and malleable in your hands. Your mouth releases him with a pop, your fist tight around his shaft as you jerk him. Your lips travel to his balls, his big round eyes widening even further as you suck one into your mouth, carefully rolling it with your tongue. He groans, hips involuntarily fucking into your hand, seeking speed. You grant it, hand going faster, your thumb teasing his slit on the upstroke. 

Your tongue hits sweet spots he’d never imagine would illicit such reaction from him, let alone strip him of all inhibitions. You suck between his balls, your mouth gentle but firm as your tongue sneaks out to lick a thick stripe all the way up his shaft before you’re enclosing your lips around him once again. His balls feel tight, tummy sinking at the feeling as his legs begin to shake. You encourage this reaction by sinking your nails in his thighs, leaving a trail of red marks on his skin. 

“F-fuck. Slow- slow down,” he hisses, bottom lip trembling to the rhythm of his fingers on your cheek. 

“Why?” You tease, eyes feigning innocence. 

“I’m gonna cum if you keep going like that- fuck,” his words drag with the way your tongue circles his tip, his gaze locked on the sensuality of the action, the way you make sure he’s watching. You look a mess, so fucked out already and he catches a tear that falls from your eyes, his thumb gentle on your skin. 

“And what’s so wrong with that, Jungkookie? Hm?”

“I want to fuck you.” Not an ounce of hesitation in his voice as he keeps scanning your face, gaze dancing from your eyes to your lips, indecisive on where to look. 

It makes your pussy throb, to hear him talk like that. You smirk, holding onto his thighs as you push yourself off from your kneeling position on the floor, landing right back into his lap as you straddle him once again. 

“Yeah,” you sigh dreamily, searching for his lips, nails running down his scalp. “Yeah, I want you to fuck me.” Your words get lost in the kiss, but the way he touches you lets you know you’ve made yourself clear.  His hands snake under the thin fabric of your top, holding onto your waist; his touch is firm yet doesn’t lack that tenderness he often holds, almost timidly making its way up. Your skin is soft under his fingers and he feels the way you shiver, goosebumps forming on your skin. His kiss only deepens, big hands gripping your waist tight, bringing you closer to him before his big hands are cupping your tits. He moans as he feels the plump flesh and the sweet sound makes you buck your hips into his.

Jungkook sighs, feeling bold enough to discard of your top, mouth dropping to your nipple. His wet tongue circling around it once before he sucks, your back arching to give him better access as your grip tightens in his hair, pulling a little, letting him know he’s making you feel good. So good.

“Get me ready,” you pant, but he seems to be too lost in his ministrations. “Get me ready for your fat cock.”

He looks back up at you, kissing you fervently, groaning against your lips as his hand travels down and under that pleated skirt that’s been driving him wild for weeks now. Maybe even months. He feels how wet you are through your panties and he doesn’t hesitate when he sneaks two of his fingers in, coating them in your slick. He teases you a little, putting pressure on your clit before he’s fucking his fingers into you. You get even tighter as you clench around them, moaning into his mouth at the stretch. It feels electric already and he hasn’t even moved. He scissors his fingers inside of you, coaxing your snug walls, getting you ready as you requested. 

Your hand travels down, holding onto his wrist, stalling his move inside of you for a moment. He looks confused, gaze on yours waiting on your next move. You begin to circle your hips, small and sloppy movements over his fingers, fucking yourself on them. You sigh, closing your eyes when you feel the way he hooks his digits inside of you, immediately reaching your sweet spot. 

“Fuck, that’s so hot.” Jungkook’s cock jerks at the sight and you can feel it against your knuckles, hot and heavy – ready for you. 

“I’m so wet, I’m making a mess.” You look down at his hand, glossy and covered in your juices the more you move around. You’re crass with your words, but he can’t help sensing a little bit of suppleness in your tone, like you’re suddenly shy even though your actions scream far from. 

“Don’t care. Want you to make a mess, so fucking bad.” He groans, kissing you again – needier this time. Harsh, hungry. 

“I’m gonna cum.”

He hums against your lips, his free hand coming to hold your hip, stilling your movements as he takes over once more. Fingers pushing where he knows it makes you shudder and whine into his kiss, thumb circling your clit to finish throwing you over the edge. You shake in his hold, soft moans passing your lips, your grip on his wrist tightening, nails digging on his shoulder as you come down. 

“You’re so pretty.” And he wants to leave it at that, because it’s the simple truth. But he adds to the compliment, “when you cum. You’re so fucking pretty when you cum.”

You give him a little smile, it’s lazy and fucked out, your eyes glassy when you finally open them. You don’t answer, opting for kneeling over his lap, his fingers sliding out of you reluctantly, but he recovers quickly when he sees the way you take your panties off on wobbly legs, one after the other. 

“Want me to keep this on?” You ask, toying with the hem of your skirt.

He sighs dreamily, boyish smile on his face as he nods. “Yeah.”

You chuckle, rolling your eyes, feigning annoyance when in reality, you’re loving it. Not just this little filthy exchange, but everything. The noises he makes, his touch on your skin, the words that fall from his lips as he peaks pleasure. It’s doing more to you than just getting it out of your system, and before you can dwell on that thought long enough for it to scare you, you reach for his cock. 

He reaches for the brown bag he managed to throw next to him on the couch, grabbing the box of condoms you brought. It’s hard to focus on opening it with one shaky hand as you jerk him, biting your lip in anticipation. Once he finally manages, he retrieves one of the foil packages, bringing it between his teeth to rip it open. He looks down, mesmerized by the way your small hand barely wraps around him. He hisses when he feels the loss of it and you lean on his thighs to give him space, watching as he rolls the condom on. 

“Come here.”

You oblige, hands landing on his shoulders as you line yourself over him, the tip of his cock accidentally nudging your clit a little, making you whine. He smiles, nudging it again, purposely this time and teasing you with it until you’re squirming and pouting, clenching around nothing. You’re wet, more than ever, but he’s big and you should’ve probably bought lube, too. Then again, you had no idea he was hiding that in his pants, it would’ve been bold of you to assume. Almost like he’s reading your mind, he lets a string of saliva drop to his fingers, bringing it down to your entrance and then coating his cock with the same two fingers and both your juices combined. 

The first stretch burns, sharp and uncomfortably as his swollen tip passes through the tight ring of muscle. You both gasp, consumed in the feeling right away, almost as if the pain wasn’t there because you want more. And so, you brave it, sinking into his cock, inch by inch, mewling at the feeling, tears pricking your eyes. He can see you’re in discomfort, gently holding onto your waist so he can still you, biting his lip so hard when he feels the way you clench around him. Pushing his desire away for a second, he brings you closer to him. He cups your face with his hand, rubbing at your cheek, pecking your lips. He kisses the corner of your mouth, littering the affection all over until his lips are traveling from your jaw all the way to your neck. He kisses on that tender spot that makes you shiver; makes you feel so good and oddly comforted until all you can feel is his wet kisses on your skin. 

You start to move, slowly at first as you bounce on his cock, the whimpers that pass his lips encouraging you until the pain morphs into pleasure and your body instinctively ups the pace. It’s quick, the way your desperation grows. Hands reaching out for him, sinking into his hair, his jaw, the nape of his neck. Your teeth bite into his bottom lip, strong enough to illicit a sharp hiss from him. 

“Fuck, baby,” he pouts, eyes struggling to stay open. He keeps his gaze on you and it’s his dark eyes and a particular sway of your hips that has you whining in pleasure, eyes closing and mouth opening as the feeling takes over you. “Yeah, fuck. So pretty when I make you feel good.” 

“It feels so good, Jungkook.” You find your words, though your head feels foggy, dizzy with the way you can feel your tummy tighten when his hands grab at your ass, squeezing some before he begins to help you move on him. 

He can tell you’re close to tipping, reading your body – the way he’s literally fucking you speechless, which seems to be very contradictory to the way you usually carry yourself. Your cunt has a tight grip around his cock, and he can feel the way it pulses when you sink yourself on him to the brim. You stay there, feeling so full, head dropping to his shoulder as your hand palms your lower tummy and you swear you can feel him there. 

You’ve been riding him slowly, wanting to savour him like this, but your legs feel the burn nonetheless. Not to mention the fact that you’re so overwhelmed, body on high alert, his touch leaving a trail of static behind it. And he knows – he knows because quicker than you can register his movements, he’s flipping you onto your back on the couch. His cock slips out of you and your legs close at the loss of him, making him let out a cocky chuckle. You’d retaliate, but you lose focus when he starts to remove his white oversized shirt, ogling him unapologetically. Your legs fall to your sides, opening yourself for him once again, making him grin. You’d wipe it off his face, bring your hand to your heat and make him falter, muster up a cocky remark – but your own colors fail you, and you smile at him. It’s sweet and Jungkook doesn’t miss it and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t make his heart skip inside his heaving chest. You remove your skirt and he follows its path until it hits the floor, eyes then focused on what he wants the most – right in-between your thighs. 

His warm hands run over your thighs slowly and you plea, “don’t tease.”

 “Would never.”

But he does. Grabbing the base of his cock, giving a shallow thrust, wetting the head of his cock before he’s playing with your clit for a moment, making you squirm until he’s fucking into you once again. He repeats this a couple of times, eyes glued to where he teases you, traveling up to see your face break in pleasure. The angle is perfect and every time he sinks into you, he hits that spot, if only for a second before he has you mewling again by circling his tip on your clit. Your head sinks into the couch, fingers playing with your nipples lazily as you focus on what he does to you. 

“I could cum like this if you do it for long enough.” Your tone is airy and he can hear the smile in your voice. 

“Yeah?” His finger travels down, joining his cock as he pushes his digit inside the snug space of your walls for a second, collecting your slick before coating your bundle of nerves with it. You bite on your lip, nodding at him. “You wanna?”

You shake your head, holding onto his hips. “No. I want you to fuck my brains out now. Wanna feel you even after you’re done with me.”

And fuck if that isn’t enough encouragement for him to fall onto you, making you laugh a little as his forearms land on either side of your head, promptly finding his lips and kissing him deep. He moans into the kiss in sheer anticipation, your legs circling around his waist, heels sinking into his ass as you motion for him to move. 

He fucks you deep at first, testing the waters before he’s going faster – a bit harder, too, the more you moan into his ear, bury your nails down his back hard enough for him to wince in pain, pleasure, excitement even. He kisses you where he can, the crook of your neck as he breathes into it, your collarbones when desire wins and he redirects his gaze to where your bodies meet. You search for his lips and he gives them to you, sloppy and messy and wet when your tongues play with one another’s. 

“Fuck- right there, right there. Please don’t stop.”

His hips are angled just right and your legs close around his waist, feeling so close to the edge you sob a little. His face comes up, missing the warmth of your neck already but it’s all worth it when his eyes meet yours, your fucked out face twisted in pleasure. You look so naughty, not an ounce of shame in the way your face depicts a perfect picture in how good he’s fucking you. In how he’s about to make you cum so hard it’s already blinding you. He wants to kiss you but he doesn’t, too enthralled to look away. 

“Fuck, please cum for me. Cum all over my cock, baby. Hm?”

You can only nod, already so close and only pushed further by his words. Another sharp determined thrust and a whine hitches in your throat, tight coil exploding inside of you until your eyes are widening in pleasure, staring right into his as you come undone around him, under him, encased by him. He’s everywhere. Your body jerks in his hold, eyes finally closing as you sink deeper into the bliss, the way he moans with you as he feels you clench around him so tight sounds like music to your ears. 

His own release is not far from yours, mind and movements hazy with lust as he fucks you faster, focused on chasing his high as you whisper filthy praises in his ear. You tell him how good he just made you feel, how hard his cock feels inside of you, his name leaving your lips in the most paradoxical of ways. Sounding too sweet for what follows. 

“Nngh- shit, I’m cumming.” He groans, so close to your ear, sending goosebumps down your spine as you feel the way he throbs inside of you, releasing a second after. 

You let him come down, wait for his breathing to get back to normal, giving yourself a moment to steady yours as well. You don’t notice the way your nails are softly caressing his back, drawing lazy patters on his flushed skin, until he shudders, a soft laugh escaping him as he says, “it tickles.”

That’s when it hits you. Your plan to touch and go crumbling to pieces the moment you realize he’s too close – that he’s been too close this whole time. Not in a physical way, but in a you’re touching more than hands can reach type of way. The kind of sex that fucks with your brain too, not just your body. 

You grunt in discomfort, shoving your shoulders into his own a little. Luckily, he gets the hint. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he says, coming up to a stand, stretching his neck in the process. He shoots you a smile, asking you if you’re thirsty. You nod, still entranced in your own thoughts and he disappears from your line of vision.

You don’t know why, but you just lay there. You want nothing more than to pick yourself up from his couch, dress yourself and get going. You even had an exit line rehearsed that you came up with on the drive here. 

“You’re welcome for those, by the way. Put them to good use.” Referring to the condoms you’d brought along with you. Fortune. It was simple, cheeky and playful. And most importantly, got the point across – this was not going to happen again. A one-time thing, something you had to get out of your system before you could go back to having normal fuck buddies, flirty relationships with your friends that escalated only when need be. Friendly sex, if you will. Jungkook is not your friend. This thought makes you wince. 

When he comes back, he’s wearing sweatpants that hang too low on his hips and it takes you a while to acknowledge the fact that he’s offering you a glass of water. When you frown at the gesture, his face falls.

“I have juice if you want?”

“What? No. Water’s fine. Thank you.” 

He sits down next to you, watching the way you gulp down the water in a matter of seconds. He smiles, unable to stop himself when his fingers card through your hair that’s fallen victim to your activities. He’s gentle when he unknots the mess at the back of your head. You side eye him, and though his smile drops a little, his fingers don’t. 

You panic, and he can see it in your eyes, frantically searching for something around the room. You notice how tidy his place is, nicely and minimally decorated with neutral colors. It suits him in ways you can’t explain, realizing you don’t know him enough to. 

“Uh, have you seen my shirt?” You ask.

He looks around for a second, shaking his head before he offers, “here, wear mine.”

You only accept because your body’s falling back into its normal temperature, the heat of the moment starting to disappear. It’s big and cozy and it smells like him and very faintly of you. 

“Are you okay?”

His question throws you off, piercing eyes looking at him all of a sudden as you raise a brow. “Me? Why wouldn’t I be?” 

He shrugs. “I don’t know. You seem… distant. I mean, in comparison to-”

“Well, yeah. We were fucking. Now we’re not.”

He laughs softly, even though you didn’t mean for anything you said to sound funny. “Well, yeah. I know but- we can just… ease out of it, you know? It doesn’t have to be so abrupt…”

His hand rests on your thigh, squeezing the flesh a little as he moves closer to you. “Can I kiss you?”

You’re about to quite literally shove your hand in his face and wipe that hazy grin from his face to abruptly jank him out of that post-coital glow he seems to be sporting but you’re hesitant. And it’s in that hesitation that you decide to challenge yourself. If you can kiss Jungkook without this foreign feeling forming inside your chest then perhaps it’d go away permanently. Perhaps all you needed was to indulge in the casualty of the action – to feel pleasure as just that, nothing more. 

And so, you kiss him. A pleasant surprise to say the least, making him smile lazily into the kiss. He’s not quite expecting it when you do, so the little force you put into it sends him falling back into the couch, you following after him. You let your body mold into his, the same way your lips do. You both sigh as your mouths part, his tongue licking at your bottom lip. It’s pleasurable. It feels good – kissing Jungkook feels good and there’s no ulterior motive to it. He’s just a good kisser.  

But then his hand cups your face, traveling down your neck until he’s gently running his fingers through your hair, pushing it back so he can kiss down your shoulder. Soft, tender, relaxing you to the point of incoherency because you let him, smiling and giggling into it when his lips tickle your skin.

“Fuck, that was so good,” he says, throwing his head back into the soft cushion. “I don’t know if it made me sleepy or hungry, or both…” he ponders.

You smile, kissing his jaw, your tongue following your lips as they travel down his neck – mimicking his previous actions. He hums out in pleasure, looking down at you, “are you hungry?”

You look up at him, suddenly lost in his eyes, in your thoughts, in your own pleasure. A pleasure different from the way your body feels pleasure. A pleasure you can’t quite put your finger on. 

“Uh…- I’m kinda… sleepy,” you confess. 

He nods, huffing in agreement before he’s wrapping his arms around you, moving his body to the side a little until you’re entrapped between his embrace and the couch. Your body’s too tired to fight it, ignoring the way your brain short-circuits and it doesn’t take long for his breathing to lull you into a deep sleep. 

When Jungkook wakes up, it’s dark outside. His shirt rests on top of his coffee table, neatly folded. And you’re nowhere to be found. 

~

You’ve kept busy, inevitably so. 

School work suddenly picking up, the urge to start revising for finals swarming your thoughts enough until you’re pulling all-nighters in the private study rooms at the library – isolated and focused. Even more now that it’s become dangerously easy for your thoughts to stray away from your tasks at hand and any situation you find yourself in. They stray far enough to land on him, every single time. On what you did, on how it ended. 

And it’s the latter that swarms your thoughts the most, especially during the night – in bed, trying to shut your brain enough so that you’re able to fall asleep. You think of him, of the way his arms felt wrapped around yours, his chest on yours and how you counted each breath of his until they synced with yours. You think of the way your eyes fluttered open even though your body still felt tired, not quite done with sleep yet, looking up at him, a peaceful look to his face as he snored softly. You almost fought it then, too, but his snores lulled you back to sleep. An unconventional lullaby – one that often annoyed you when and if you ever found yourself sleeping next to someone. His didn’t, and on particular nights you’d confess that you wished it was that same sound that was putting you to sleep, not your fifth ASMR video. 

When you woke up and the heaviness of the night surrounded your bodies, it felt like it settled inside your chest, too. You panicked, staring at him even though you couldn’t make much of his face in the darkness. You attempted to go back to sleep, unsure of the time, giving up on putting up a fight – at least in that very moment. You nuzzled your face on his chest, relishing in his warmth and he sighed, unconsciously pulling you closer. It felt so innocent, so uncorrupted – he looked for you in the deepest of sleeps and it was that notion that did it for you. 

The boy was a heavy sleeper, that was for sure. He flinched at the loss of you, arms stretching around him for a brief second before falling back into deep sleep – uninterrupted. 

Your phone buzzes in your hand, making you wince and taking you out of your head – out of the memories that plague it. Sydney’s calling you and when you pick up the phone, she greets you with a cheery, 

“Hello, stranger of a best friend!” 

You roll your eyes, but give in a moment later, offering a playful laugh. You’ll admit that being so inside your head and focusing on your responsibilities and your responsibilities only has made you quite irritable lately, and distant. 

“Hey, Syd.” 

“Where are you? Come hang – I’ve got snacks, buy me coffee and we’ll watch The Great British Bake-off.”

You ponder on her offer for a minute, already so used to neglecting yourself of the simple pleasures of just… hanging out with your friends. It’s only been a week of this, but the consequences are rough. 

“Iced vanilla latte with caramel, extra sweet?” 

“Ugh, be mine.”

You smile. “I’ll be there in fifteen.”

“I’ll be waiting,” she sing-songs. 

You decide to treat her real nice, passing by the packed Starbucks on campus (that’s overrated, in your opinion) and heading towards the cute little food trucks that your university brings out during the warmer months of the year. They’re slightly overpriced but worth every penny, if solely for the aesthetics. Though you will admit, the food is great. The little colourful trucks all align one next to the other – your favorite coffee place, a taco shop, ramen place and the ice cream truck last. Colorful tables scattered all across the green space, good music always playing, chill or upbeat depending on the time of day, making it all seem too good to be located in campus grounds. 

You head straight for the coffee truck, the usual barista shooting you a dazzling smile the moment he spots you. You return it.

“Hey, Kian.” 

“Hey, you. Long-time, no see…” He’s cute in that, ‘and he knows it’ type of way. A true charmer. He’s tried it a couple of times, with you, and Sydney… and Sumi. You respect his boldness if anything. 

“Ugh, I know. I’ve been living in the library, busy bee me.”

“Been cheating on me by getting your caffeine fix from Starbucks?” He cocks a brow playfully.

“Why do you ask if the truth will hurt?” 

He laughs, a little obnoxiously but he pulls it well. “The usual?”

“Yep. Iced Americano and an iced vanilla latte with a pump of caramel, make it extra-”

“Sweet, for sweet Sydney.” He winks and you nod, winking back. 

You watch him work his magic, brewing the coffee as the aroma fills the air, foaming the oat milk until it’s cloudy. He makes one hell of a good coffee; you’ll give him that much. You feel giddy all of a sudden, the fresh spring air doing wonders for you already, surprised over how something so mundane as a cup of coffee and a harmless conversation with the cute barista can switch your mood for the better. You smile and Kian catches it, smiling at you for a second before he’s back to excellent coffee making. 

“You’re making me nervous, ___.” He says, half playfully and half sincerely when he sees the way you eye him. 

You raise your hands in defeat, laughing and turning around. “Okay, okay. I’ll just… stare at the-”

Your gaze doesn’t linger, snapping your face back at Kian faster than you can register what you just saw. He just thinks you’re being funny, laughing at the abruptness of your actions. But that doesn’t last either, temptation too strong to beat it, that curiosity that keeps landing you in trouble.

Jungkook.

He sits in one of the tables in front of the ice cream truck, sweet treat in hand that very well goes with the sweet smile he holds, nodding and cocking his head sweetly at the girl that sits right in front of him in the same bench. Their legs are at either side of it and their knees touch. You can’t see her face, but she’s holding a cone, two scoops of pistachio ice cream in it. You know because it’s your favorite. And because you’re a cone person, too. He isn’t, from the looks of it. He also likes mint choco, adding insult to injury. 

The wind blows all of a sudden, in heavy contrast to the heat of the season that was in full bloom only a couple of seconds ago. His hair falls right in front of his eyes, mid ice cream bite, making him shake his head to attempt (and fail) to clear his vision. You see the way she shakes her shoulders, laughing, before her fingers gently push away the fallen strands on his forehead. He smiles through his spoon, big and toothy and sweet. It’s sweet. She’s sweet, and so is he. They’re sweet. 

Your gaze must be piercing because in a matter of seconds his eyes are on yours. You divert your eyes quickly, but you can see the way his eyes go back to her, following the conversation as he nods in acknowledgement. 

“Whatever,” you mumble to yourself, mostly. 

Curiosity wins yet again and when you turn his way, for a brief second, he’s telling her something before both their eyes are on you. She nods at him and right on cue, he’s standing up, making his way towards you. 

Kian places the two coffee cups in front of you, in perfect timing. Will you run? Absolutely. Is it childish? Absolutely. But you don’t owe him anything, really. Let alone explanations. Why even acknowledge your presence? In the middle of a date, too. How rude of him! You also know this is a lie – knowing him, he was even polite about that. 

“Thank you, Ki-”

“Hey, listen… I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while,” Kian begins, his words sluggish, making you anxious as you bounce in your step. “I’m in a band.”

“Oh?” You press.

“Yeah… we’re like, indie. Pretty chill. But one day… oh, man. One day we will be huge!”

“Don’t have a doubt! Godspeed, Kian.” 

You’re about to turn around and, well, run. But God, and Kian, has other plans. Laughing, he says, “I’ve been meaning to invite you girls to come watch us play and stuff. That’d be dope. We have a show this Saturday and I’d really like for you to come; I’ll even sing one for you and everything.” 

You’re perplexed for some reason, but agreeing is quicker than making up some lame excuse so you nod your head, “Sur-”

“Hey, ___.” 

~

Lola called; she didn’t text. She sounded nervous and a bit on edge, stuttering a little on her words, engaging him in small talk before she managed to gather enough courage to ask him out. For ice cream, as she’d promised. 

“I’m free today,” but she immediately regretted it, afraid she’d sounded too pushy. “But we can do it whenever! It doesn’t have to be today. It can be tomorrow-” pushy, again, she thought. “Or next wee-”

“Actually, today sounds nice. Been studying all day, could really use a break… you up for it?” He said, even though she’d clearly just stated she was. It made her relax and he could hear it in her voice. 

“I’d love that, Jungkook.”

He knew this was going to be good for him, fresh air and a potentially nice conversation with a nice girl. She was sweet, had been texting him random sweet messages ever since their conversation in the library weeks ago. Made sure to ask about his day and got excited when he asked about hers. 

They’d met outside of the library and she’d greeted him with a hug and already, it felt nice. He was glad with his decision. He’d hibernated and isolated himself, skipping Tuesday game night and only interacting with his friends during practice and in the hallways, always in a rush getting from one class to the other. He knew why, but he couldn’t quite explain it. He only knew it had a name – your name, to be more precise. But how could he explain that? How could he explain you? 

You hadn’t broken Jungkook’s heart, but you sure had it confused. Lost and quite stubborn, wanting answers and refusing to let go until he got them. It wasn’t in his shy nature to insist, to seek out answers that could very well hurt him, or even tempt discomfort… but nonetheless, he wanted to know. He wanted to know why you just… left. He wanted to know why you even came in the first place. You’d been quite adamant in the soccer field, owning the place and stepping on his spirits, telling him not only would your previous exchange had to be secret but also that it wouldn’t be repeated. Then, mere days later, it wasn’t only repeated but intensified. Just adding layers to the enigma he’d build around you. 

But was it him? Was it all in his head? Was he simply idealizing your actions, justifying them, even if they went strongly against your words? Was he in the wrong for second guessing when that’s all you’d left for him to do? 

So, he spent his days going to class, to practice, late nights at the gym before heading for even later nights at the library. He couldn’t talk to anyone about it so he just let it eat at him from the inside out, distracting himself with whatever he could. 

Lola wasn’t a distraction. She deserved better than that, so he made sure to let himself go of… the thought of you, even if for a brief ice cream run. And truth be told, it was presenting itself to be easier than he originally thought, to just enjoy and be in the moment. With her. Just her, in front of him and in his head. 

“Listen, I have nothing against mint choco…,” she says, words in-between giggles as he playfully narrowed his eyes at her.

“But…?” 

“But it’s more of a, ‘in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s whilst you cry your eyes out watching The Notebook even though you can’t quite relate because you’re not heartbroken enough but oh is it good to indulge’ type of way. You know?” 

This makes Jungkook smile, the two of them breaking out in laughter at her rather personal confession. “Oddly enough, I know what you mean… a little.”

“Only a little?”

“Yeah, can’t speak from experience but, it sounds like it makes sense.”

“Maybe that can be our next ice cream date…” she’s shy around her words, breaking eye contact, gaze traveling down to fixate elsewhere.

“Yeah,” he says, making her look up, a smile that reaches her green eyes. “I’ll put your theory to the test…”

A gust of wind flies directly at them, her hair blowing all over the place and his bangs landing on top of his face, making her giggle at his confused expression, looking a little dumbstruck with a spoonful of ice cream sitting between his teeth. Lola thinks he’s cute – everything about him. Her fingers are a little shaky but she manages, pushing his bangs away from his forehead, big eyes coming to view once again. The tip of her finger gently grazes against his forehead and he blinks slowly. Butterflies swarm her tummy, wanting him to kiss her so bad and hopeful he just might. 

His eyes seem a little lost for a second before he’s smiling at her once again. Her spirits deflate a little but she smiles back.

“Hey, uh… I see my friend,” he says, pointing at your direction. He doesn’t want to lie to her but he doesn’t let much of the truth to come out either. She turns around, eyes catching yours for a brief second before you turn around. You’re pretty and she has a feeling she’s seen you before. 

“Oh…”

“Haven’t been able to reach her and there’s something I have to tell her,” that’s a lie, Jungkook doesn’t even have your number. He sees the way Lola’s face falls a little. He lies, and he hates it. “It’s no biggie, just passing a message. We’ve got friends in common. It’ll be a minute, yeah?”

She smiles again, feeling a little relieved. “Yeah, sure. Don’t worry about it.” 

He smiles and she feels hopeful. 

~

“Hey.” It’s all you say, a tight-lipped smile his way before you’re turning back to Kian, with all the intention of fleeting the scene, coffees in hand. 

“So, you’ll come?” Kian asks, making Jungkook curious, even though he knows he shouldn’t be. He has no right, anyways.

“Sure. Text me the address!”

“But I don’t have your number,” he says, pouting a little obnoxiously.

“DM me on insta!” 

He thinks for a second. “I don’t have that either…”

“It’s just my name!” 

The second he nods, you turn around, casually walking away from the mess you found yourself in. 

Jungkook speed walks a little after you, and you can feel his presence behind you. 

“Hey,” he reaches for your arm, making you turn around, a scowl to your face that makes him wince a little. He takes a step back, not wanting to invade your personal space. “Uh… can we- can we talk? Please?”

You decide to play it cool. “Sure. Talk.” The smile on your face doesn’t quite meet your eyes.

And the truth is, Jungkook doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know what to talk to you about. Since you left him that day, he’s thought about close to a million things he’d want to tell you, ask you, have you tell him, but now that you’re in front of him, kind of willing… he’s out of ideas. 

So, he just opts for the easiest one. “Why did you leave… that day we- yeah.”

“Why would I have stayed?” You ask him, like it’s obvious. A little rhetorical even.

“You didn’t- I mean, if you wanted to leave, of course. You just didn’t say goodbye or anything…” his voice is calm, and this makes you even more anxious. Something that feels awfully like guilt settling right in your chest.

“You were sleeping.”

He gives you a knowing look, like both you and him know that’s not really the reason why you left, let alone the answer to his question.

“Listen, that conversation we had in the soccer field that one time… it still stands, okay? Nothing has changed.” You say.

“Only it has? You came to me. And we had sex. So… yeah, something has changed. If only the facts, but… something.”

You roll your eyes at him, crude and exasperated at this point. “Fine. We fucked. I was curious, had to burn out that curiosity. That’s all. Factual. Nothing has changed, in theory.”

“You were curious?” He says, in slight disbelief. 

“Yeah.”

“I get that but,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, looking for the right words. “But I’m not just…- something that you can use to, appease your curiosity… I guess.” He’s unsure of his own words, knowing he sounds hurt and so very out of your left field because that’s what you’re used to. Bodies, not people. To appease instant gratification. And he wishes he could be just that if only to not have you look at him the way you are now, slightly regretful and shocked at his words. 

“I apologize, won’t happen again – trust me.”

“No,” he reaches out for you once again when you turn to leave. “That’s not what I meant.” 

“But that’s all I wanted. Considered it done on my part. I wanted to know and now I do. And I’ve closed chapter – you should, too. It meant nothing, Jungkook.”

He can only stare at you, trying to process your words – making mental fucking laps around it as if to keep it from reaching his heart. As if to try to pretend your words don’t hurt.

You sigh. “Listen, I’m sorry. I mistook the situation, you’re not… that type of guy, and I guess I am that type of girl. If I sent mixed signals then, I hope this makes it clear. It was a mistake, so… sorry, I guess.”

When he says nothing, just gives you a weak nod, you give him another one of your characteristic smiles. Those that he often gets when he finds himself in these situations with you, this one by the far the hardest. It’s so different from the smiles you’d given him the last time it was just the two of you, alone. Fulfilling your curiosities. 

But your curiosities have a name and explanation: lust. No last name, no need to elaborate.

He watches you leave, feeling like he’s just been punched in the gut. 

Or the heart.

What the hell does he know, really. 

~

I'd give jungkook one million hugs. pls :((((. im sorry kookie. I hope u guys enjoyed this!!! do let me know if u did, let's talk - I miss u a ton. love u. xxxxx <3333

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