#(holds them in my arms sobbing) i love them and you guys STILL dont even have the lore post

[nejackdaw]

Okay so did I ever write the Celann and Charlotte lore post. No. I didn't even finish the UESP deep dive. However. I am very thinking about Celann and the way he worships Charlotte

[moonydoodlez]

thinking about dad lucifer again (shocking) but IF YOU WANT MORE COMFORT I GOT U <3 but imagine lucifer and the readers kid (im imagining its not charlie) getting hurt like tripping over a rock or something and scrapping their knee nothing big but the kid starts sobbing from the pain and later in the night lucifer is still staying awake from it thinking hes such a terrible father for letting his baby get hurt :(

Fuck that rock

Pairng: Dad!Lucifer x Mom!Reader

Warnings: sad lucifer again sorry guys

Word Count: 1051

A/N: i lowkey kinda hate this but enjoy it if you want or dont i mean thats cool too

You watched Lucifer running through streets with your little girl. He reached out for her, spinning her around in the air before carefully setting her back down. Margot giggled as she chased him around. Her small legs trying to keep up with him, even though he was already running very slowly. You smiled softly, enjoying how sweet he was with her. 

“Look at the princess go” He yells to you as your daughter runs around in her pink dress and converse. 

“My turn to be chased” Margot giggled as Lucifer turned around and speed walked toward her. She laughed hard as she started running. She kept looking back at Lucifer making sure he was still chasing her. 

However all was going a little too well. As she looked back a final time a small rock in the road became her demise. She tripped and landed straight down on her knees. You gasped as you quickly stood up as you ran toward them. Lucifer had already collapsed to the ground pulling Margot into his arms making sure that she was ok. 

“It's ok baby” He cooed as she sobbed in his arms. She leaned her head against him as she began to cry harder. “Look.. there's mommy” He said as she lifted her chin up to look at you standing over her. You smile softly down at her as you watch her tears stream down.

“Let me look at your cut hun” You say, lowering yourself onto your knees. You realized that it was merely a scratch and she wasn't even bleeding. “It's ok baby” You whisper, taking a seat on the cement ground next to Lucifer. You grab her hand to hold as you lean your head against Lucifer's shoulder. He moves her legs onto yours so she's laying across you and Lucifer.

After about ten minutes she finally begins to settle down as she closes her eyes. You watch her sniffle as you let out a breath. Your eyes wandered over to Lucifer who was looking down at her sadly. He shook his head before pulling her closer into his chest laying a kiss on her temple. He was gripping her close, refusing to let go.

“We should probably put her to bed,” You suggest. Lucifer looks at you giving you a small smile before looking back at Margot. You could tell he felt bad and you knew he blamed himself. You could see it in his eyes. 

“Do you wanna put her to sleep?” You asked him knowing that if he felt like a good father it could stop the sadness he was feeling. He nodded, picking her up in his arms and heading inside. 

You picked up the blanket you had laid on the ground and the snacks you put out in case anyone had gotten hungry while you played outside. You cleaned up your room and took a shower as he took his time feeding her and putting her to sleep. 

Sliding on your robe you looked up clutching your chest as you saw Lucifer laying in bed. “God.. I didn't realize you were in here already” You said breathing heavily walking toward the bed and laying down. 

“Sorry my love” He said, planting a kiss on your lips as he moved the covers over your body. 

“You ok?” You ask as he sighed. His eyes met yours again as he nodded, finally getting under the covers. 

You moved your body closer to him. His arms wrapped around your waist slowly before suddenly clutching your body to his. You gasped as he moved your body as close to him as it could possibly be.

“I'm a bad father” He whimpered into your shoulder. 

Your eyes widened as you moved his head from your shoulder. “What on earth are you talking about?” You questioned holding his face in your hands. “What would ever make you say that?

“She fell and could have died and it was all my fault” He replied frantically.

Your shoulders fell and you couldn't stop the giggle that left your lips. His eyes narrowed at you as you shut your mouth.

“Don't laugh at me” He pouted.

“Oh honey I'm not laughing at you.. I just think it's silly. You didn't almost kill her, she tripped over a rock and she wasn’t even bleeding” You said running your hands through his hair. 

He forced his head onto your chest as he sniffled. “Oh baby” You said, realizing he was crying. 

“I screwed up with Charlie and now I'm already screwing up with her” He cried.

You weren't sure where he had ever gotten the idea of being a bad dad. I mean of course when you first met Lucifer he was just starting to talk to his daughter again. He always wanted to be there for Charlie, he just didn't know how to be in her life as a father. However it was obvious Lilith had put some things in Charlie's head. Lucifer would never do anything to hurt her. He had always wanted to be in Charlie's life, Lilith  just didnt let him be in it. 

“Baby, look at me,” You said. He never looked up, keeping his head on your chest. You repeat yourself more forcefully this time. He slowly made eye contact. His eyes were bloodshot as he stared at you.

“You never screwed up with Charlie and you most definitely haven't screwed up with our girl” You said. “All she got was a scratch that will probably be gone by the morning” You continued. 

“I guess,” He murmured.

You sighed knowing that nothing you could say could change his mind. However you loved him with every fiber in your body and would try your hardest to convince him he was an amazing father.

You placed a kiss on his head as you rubbed your hands up and down his back.

“Even if you don’t believe it, you really are an amazing husband and father, there’s no one I'd rather be with” You said as you snuggled into him, closing your eyes. You inhaled his scent as he layed in your arms.

“I love you” You whisper as you close your eyes.

He mumbled an almost incoherent ‘love you too’ as you laid in the complete darkness of your shared room.

Masterlist Lucifer Masterlist

[hsyvers]

IM IN LOVE WITH SPIDER-JEN you dont even understand 🥰😝😻 but im craving some angst... can you write yn getting attacked by one of yunjins enemies and she doesnt get there in time? my heart hurts just by requesting this 🤧

for you, i'd bleed myself dry - spiderwoman!h.yj x reader

WARNING(S); vague descriptions of death

NOTES; 1k. i hate writing angst so so much but when someone requests i'll try my best to deliver so 😭 yk atsv and like the thing abt canon events....and the last gwenter scene in tasm 2....yeah....im kinda denying that it's a pt.2 to my spiderwoman yunjin fic bc im delulu <3

"hey!" yunjin yells, her heart hammering in her chest, "y/n! i need to hear you!"

"i'm okay!" you respond shakily, standing on a tiny ledge that oversaw the whole hollow clocktower, except for a bunch of gears moving. the fall would still be able to kill, "focus on your fight!"

yunjin lets out a relieved sigh, wincing at the action. her ribs hurt the more she breathes, her vision getting blurry the more she evades her enemy's attacks.

how much has technology advanced anyway? with all the guys yunjin has had to deal with, especially the last few months, it felt like every terrible person was trying to be on par with spiderwoman.

that's how you all ended up on top of this fucking clocktower anyway. if it weren't for her insisting to give you a quick kiss, he might have thought you were just a normal civilian.

'fucking idiot,' she thinks to herself, forcing her limbs to move. once she feels her foot connect with his face, she dives down to get you.

"hold on tight," she orders, with you nodding quickly. she webs something sturdy above the both of you, but just as she pulls up, the criminal cuts it off.

all yunjin can hear is your gasp and his sickening laugh.

she grabs you with a web and sends another one to hold her up.

he seems bored of repeating the same action, jumping down to challenge yunjin to take him on again.

you see the white eyes of her mask focusing on you, and at this moment, it hurts to think of how much she loves you.

when he tries to grasp her arm, you shout a warning, and yunjin manages to kick him off again, her arm swinging to throw a punch before she holds herself up again.

then the gears meet, and your web snaps.

it happens so quickly, that, you wonder if you even screamed.

yunjin doesn't either. she just jumps.

lower, and lower, and lower.

a string chases your chest.

you hear a crack, and you feel yunjin's arms envelop you.

and you're grateful that that's the last thing you feel.

"please, please, please, oh fuck," yunjin pulls off her mask, tears streaming down her cheeks when she falls to the floor, cradling you, "please, babe, no. don't do this."

she leans her ear to your chest, and she has the urge to die herself when she hears nothing.

"honey, no, please," she begs softly, her chest wrecking with sobs when she presses a lingering kiss to your temple.

"get up, okay? tell me you're alright. scold me for being late to practice. yell at me for dropping you!"

it aches. it aches how alive you looked and how dead you felt.

"i'm so sorry, i'm so sorry," she chants, holding you closer as she cries, "it's all my fault. i should've-...i..."

"you look so tired," you whisper, one late night.

yunjin had come home around 3 am, and she's sitting tiredly on your bed, nuzzling her face onto your chest as you stood and held her.

"everything...hurts."

you pull her mask off, expression souring when you see a cut on her lip and eyebrow.

"one day, i'll kill the people who hurt you like this," you declare quietly, after patching her up, like you always have, and you always will.

"no need," she whispers, burying her face in your hair when you lay on the bed, "i'll handle them and you handle me, okay?"

you giggle, and nod in approval, taking her hand to press gentle kisses on her battered knuckles, "i'll take care of you."

and yunjin is surprised at how much she yearns. even when you're around. and painfully more so when you're not.

"it's rotten work."

"not to me. not if it's you."

she remembers falling asleep to your voice.

she never regretted touching you, kissing you, telling you how she loved you, every single day. she never forgot your lips on her own, her cheeks, and her scars.

maybe that's why it was so utterly devastating.

because she never felt that strongly about anyone, or anything. she was the city's protector while you were hers.

she crumbles completely, and she sits there for hours.

the police can arrive, blame everything on her, arrest her, she didn't care.

the only reason why she tears herself away from your body, was so you could be buried properly. she feels as though she can't speak, her eyes red and dull when she left you.

she doesn't come out of her room for days. everyone seems to notice spiderwoman's absence. her friends try to get to her, but she refuses to respond.

she finally shows her face at your funeral, and when they ask why she did, she merely says it's all for you.

and also, she thinks, because you saved her. again, even after death. you did have a way with words, after all.

to my soulmate,

i know you warned me before we started dating, about how i might be in as much danger as you are.

if you found this, it's because you were right, and for whatever reason, i can't be with you right now.

i just want to say that i don't regret kissing you that one night after you saved me, and i certainly wouldn't take back all the love i have given you and my experiences of you giving all you have left in you to me.

in fact, i'd do it all over again, and even now, i love you, i love you, i love you.

you got this! you can pull through it. you're the strongest person i know. and don't forget to lean on our friends if you need them. i know you'll be in good hands.

i took care of you for as long as i could, and you protected me to the best of your ability. i know, because i trust you.

so please, continue to smile and laugh for me, i'll be watching from wherever i am, so don't you dare forget it!

yours forever,

the love of your life (your words, not mine, babe)

[mangosrar]

Always, i will be here.

chris sturniolo x reader

a/n: guys this one is lowkey-highkey sad but i love it so much:(

loosely based off always by Daniel Caesar!!!!

My y/n,

I wonder when i first met you, in a way that was more than just physical. I wonder when a line in a song reminded me of you, or the first time i walked past someone who carried a scent so similar to yours, that i questioned if you had just walked past me, or the first time someone made a joke so good i had to relay it to you later and pretended it was my own.

I always thought that heart break was caused by mean words said so harshly they pierce the soul. But in reality, they’re from goodbyes that weren’t told, kisses never shared and hugs never felt. These are the ingredients of a broken heart and they can never be fixed. Broken beyond repair.

The thing is even if you could go back, you wouldnt belong there anymore. I still perform autopsies on conversations we had lives ago. They could hook me up to a polygraph and ask me if i still love you, i would say no, and the line would jump and stutter in the exact pattern of your laugh. It feels better to die at your hands y/n, than to never have felt them at all. The heart has its own memory, and i have forgotern nothing, so dont set me on fire and act like you're the one burning.

I remember once you told me you killed a plant by feeding it too much water, and now you worry love is voilence and i know i always say you hold on to too much and every time you reply; asking me where you should put it down. This is starting to look like a contest of who cares less but i liked it better when you were on my side. Im afraid i will love you for the rest of my life and we will never be in the same room again, and im worried the amount of time we have left together is limited so please lingre near the door or forget your jacket and come back for it later. Please just tell me that im not as forgetable as your absence is making me feel. You only hate the people you love, and i know i could never be someone you dont like.

But surrounded by the churches and the dirt, i fell in love with you here. I had never told you. I wish i was braver. It's okay to not be who you thought you would be. But now summer is almost over, my feelings didnt change, and you aren't coming back. But always, i will be here y/n.

My Chris,

Christopher Owen Sturniolo, you have siezed my spine, took my bones and left me to melt into a sticky pile of mush where my body used to be.

I have spent half of my life loving you, and the other half figuring out my love for you. If i could write a book on all the things i wished you would have said, i would run out of pages. I feel like a kid at christmas whos been hopelessly dreaming about getting a pony,only to be given socks. I pushed you out and now youre so far away i cant even reach for you. I could call you a hundred names and scream and shout about why you were awful. But where would that leave me. I still loved you. I still have to live with that.

Its like youve taken a part of me and left it where i cant find it. I tried to forgive you, so i could move on, but how is that possible when i find you in every song, every tone, every frequency and every static. My brain cannot move an inch without bumping into some part of you. You are just a burning house that i want to live in, so why can't you let me put you out?

I wish you had left me wondering. I think it would have hurt much less if i never knew what made you fall out of love with me. You held me tight as i weeped like a little girl who had just dropped her ice cream, you kissed the top of my head and rocked us back and forth. You muffled my sobs with your lips. You whispered sweet nothings to me as i cried in your arms. You wiped the tears that fell for the heart you broke. You told me there will always be a piece of your heart that belongs to me. You have stained me. Tainted and bruised my soul. You told me that you’ve never had a love like ours and never will. You said that you’re future wife will know about me. Your kids will learn what love is through the stories you tell them about us. And suddenly, im at the kitchen table. Crying. Wondering what went wrong. But always, i will be here chris.

@christinarowie332 @jcwrites-blog @sturnphilia @biimpanicking @sssturniolofart @lividnity

LMK WHAT YALL THINK!!!!

[lillyspeakz]

can i request some wilbur soot angsty stuff

like wilbur dating reader whose a sad person who always thinks people dont like her and doesnt react well to rough criticsm

because im feeling sad and this is what i'm craving☹️

hi dearest! I’m very much feeling this request rn so I hope you enjoy! And I hope you feel better darling <3 This was very self indulgent and half assed bc I’m eepy but! Enjoy!

warnings: reader had a bad day, Wilbur being cute, fluff all around with a hint of angst. It’s like hurt/comfort.

come into (my arms)

“Shh, it’s ok darling. I know, just let it out.” Wilbur whispered to you, holding you in his arms as you let out sobs and cries into his chest.

Today had been a particularly hard day, people harshly telling you what to do when things didn’t seem to be right when you did them. You thought your co-workers disliked you at the beginning, but now you definitely thought they didn’t, which hurt.

You had trouble reading people and how they felt about you but once one harsh comment came out of their mouth about your work or you, that decision was clear. You thought a lot of people didn’t like you, feeling a bit to out of comfort when around new people. Yet your friends and Wil reassured you constantly that they loved and appreciated you.

But today, everything was too much and you finally cracked.

Your tears soaked his shirt, hands wrinkled the fabric, ultimately ruining the once nice shirt. You were mad, and upset, and he knew that. Wil rubbed your head as broken sobs and cries of frustration and despair left your mouth, holding you as close as he could. “You are so strong my love. So proud of you for getting through the day. I love you so much, so so much.”

His words only made you let more sobs out, thankful that he was here with you. This wasn’t the first time this has happened and he knew it wouldn’t be the last. But he’d be there for you every time.

“I-I’m s-sorry.” Ylu stuttered out inbetween sobs, resulting in Wilbur shushing you gently and kissing your hairline.

“Don’t apologize love, you deserve to let it out. You don’t let yourself feel your emotions a lot, so let this be that time.” He told you as you inhaled shakingly, and let out a deep breath, your cries and tears slowly coming to a stop as he continued rubbing your head and humming quietly to you.

Feeling calmer than before, you released his shirt in your hand and rubbed your tear stayed face. Watching this, Wilbur frowned and took your hand in his, gently kissing it and cupping your cheek in his palm. He collected the tears that had fallen and lied on your waterline, cooing at you as you leant into his touch.

“My precious baby. You look so pretty.” Wil whispered to you as he looked at you, really looked at you. Your eyes puffy and glossy from tears, yet your eyes still hold that same beauty. Tear streaks paint your face making him want to kiss every part of your face that the salty water touched. You were absolutely beautiful to him, no matter what. And he could never explain how he felt, always needing to either kiss or hold you.

“Even like this? A hot mess?” You asked as you looked up at him, the question being a genuine one.

“Yes baby, even like that. Always. I love you, so much. And if you want to find a new job, I will help every step of the way. It doesn’t seem like you’re comfortable there anyways darling. You know, you could work for the band. We’d be happy to have you as our manager.” Wil asked, having wanted you to be their manger for longer than usual.

You smiled up at him as you leant up to him and kissed him, soft and sweet. Both of you smiled into it, a kiss not being possible anymore. “I love you. And I’ll think about it, sounds better than having to work with people that scare me sometimes.”

“We don’t scare you?”

“Oh! No you guys do! But I love you guys, and I know you guys love me.” You admitted to Wil, as he smiled brightly down at you, wrapping his arms back around you and kissing all over your face as giggles and squeals left you.

taglist: @horny-p0et @ivvees-blog (if you want to be added, send me an ask or comment)

[elvisslut]

“One last ride”

Warnings- death, crying, children involved.

This is a little rushed mb

“Baby?” You call out for your husband walking into the bedroom to see him on the bed all dressed up. “Where are you going?” You question with a smile.

Elvis knew his time was soon just not how soon..not that he wanted it to be, but he accepted it. “We’re goin’ to go out..one last ride on the bike hows that sound?” He looked to you with a small smile, one that hide the pain he was feeling physically and emotionally.

“Last? Are you selling one?” He chuckles and waves it off, Getting up and going to you. His arms capsulate you against his stomach and chest, nothing could stop you from being happy in this moment..

“Okay..” you softly speak earning a hum in response, he’s going to miss you. “Lets go”

———————

The ride had you ending you two up all the way in Knoxville. Hours away from home, he thought about turning around but you’re arms around him, cuddling your head into the spot right between his shoulder blades.

Eventually he did turn around heading back towards Memphis. Stopping about halfway and going to the river look out at the water flowing.

“I love you..for eternity even after death..” he said softly, you frown to yourself for a moment before smiling. “I love you too baby..” you quip, your obliviousness was adorable to him but also gut wrenching.

“Lets get back home..” he says patting your hand and revving up the back, heading back to Memphis knowing too much, an you knowing too little.

He seemed fine, laughing, cracking jokes, messing with you how he does but then you went to bed not knowing your life would be turned on its axis.

—————

Happy in your arms and you in his he held tight..as he passed against you in his sleep..you woke up that morning with a large smile seeing your husband in bed still. But he was cold. Why was he cold. He was pale and his heart was not thumping against your ear.

“Elvis..” you say tears flood your eyes. “Elvis..elvis elvis please baby.. please wake up..i need you please oh my god..” you rushed out of the room and ran downstairs nearly tripping. “Joe j-joe elvis isn’t breathing he-hes cold” without another word you and joe followed by some of the guys ran up to the bedroom.

Everything stopped. Its slowed down, like it was slow motion. The love of your life, your best friend, your everything was truly gone. You watch in pure agony as the guys rush into things and do things hoping to find something to help.

Your beautiful boy was too far gone. You hear footsteps rushing to the room to see your daughter and your son..staring at their father with horror printed on their faces, your son who was 15 looked to you and ran over wrapping his arms around you, your 5 year old daughter following and doing the same.

“Take your sister to your room dont come out till i tell you okay?” You say holding in sobs as you hug them back, Aaron nods and picks up jessie soothing her worries as he walks away and out to his room.

You follow the emts to the ambulance, crawling in and looking at him as they rush towards the hospital.

Why must god take him from his family. He was your everything and your kids everything. You held his cold stiffing hand rushing in with them to the hospital being pulled away from him as they hit doors you couldn’t walk through.

Finally that was enough you broke down completely, how were you supposed to tell your babies. He pampered them and looked them to no end..as joe came to you helping you up and crying with you he lead you to a private waiting room, where the rest of the guys were, immediately all of them coming to you and wrapping you in a big warm group hug.

He was truly gone..your husband died in your arms..and your children seen their dead father..

One last ride

He knew..he knew and he didn’t tell you.

Even after death..

You let out a sob holding onto one of the guys. Wishing you were the love struck teen that couldn’t tell elvis about her feelings because she didn’t want to lose his friendship.

[lab1rynth]

Hey Pb, I’ve got a request for you. What were to happen if reader was able to escape from Yan! Mortician? How would he react and how soon would he find them if they had help? You can keep reader gn if you like.

Miss 🍯

YAN!MORTICIAN when you escape

It was late at night, you're beloved Mortician had been long asleep by that time. He had been so kind to you recently, moving you guys to a comfy and quaint house, where he let you roam freely and do as you pleased (with a few exceptions).

Though you had one thing in mind, even with all of the niceties, you still couldn't bring it in you to love him, so you decided tonight was the time to leave. You gently climbed out of bed, praying that your movements dont wake him as your feet finally hit the cold hard-wood floor, slightly flinching at the creaks as you set your weight down.

You hadn't planned on taking anything with you, there was nothing here you needed, your Mortician didn't even have any phones, at least not ones you know of. The clothes on your body was all you were going to take as you quietly snuck out of the room, then out of the house all together.

Once you felt the cold chill of the midnight air, you suddenly started sprinting into the deep woods that surrounded the house. You had no clue where you were going, you just sprinted until you couldn't anymore. You were not able to find your way out of the woods, sadly, it seemed as if your Mortician planned on you running away.

You sat yourself down against a tree, huffing as you tried to catch your breath. Leaning your head back against the tree behind you as you eventually felt tears wet your eyes. You were never going to get out of this, were you?

Thats all you could remember until everything went black.

You woke up once again to the sounds of shoes crunching against the earths floor, you frantically got up and started making a run for it but was quickly stopped by an arm tightly wrapped around your waist and another covering your mouth. You struggled against the arms, causing them to grow tighter, "Hush now, Pumpkin," your Mortician spoke, "If you keep struggling Im going to have to hurt you, and I dont think either of us want that."

The threat made you stop, and let out a small sob into his hand, going limp as he then picked you up over his shoulder. At this point you didn't want to fight, you knew it'd all be useless and you'd end up back and that house again. You were wasting your energy trying to run away and he had tried to remind you of that again and again. You finally decided to listen.

The walk wasn't as long as you thought it would be, only around 10 minutes. You thought you ran farther than that but apparently time slows down when you're in fear. The Mortician pushed open the door with his boot, kicking the boots off as he walked inside. He sat you down on a couch and looked you over, checking your body for any bruises or cuts before he sighed.

"Im very cross with you, Pumpkin. Not only did you try to run away from the life we've built but you could of been seriously hurt," He mumbled, before picking you up once again and bringing you to you shared room, locking the bedroom door behind him. He slipped you off of his shoulder into a small cushioned chair as you continued to just sob and go limp. He grabbed a rope from a box below the bed, trying it around your limbs to the chair, "Honey, you're gonna have to stay here until you regain my trust, alright? Im not angry, but you really hurt me with your actions and you need to think about what you've done," He spoke, his fingers holding your chin forcing you to look up at him.

"I love you, and I know deep down you love me. You're just scared, darling, and I can understand that," The Mortician kissed your forehead, moving one of his hands up to wipe away your tears, "I'll make you some of your happy food, alright? You sit here and calm down and I'll be back."

You knew he normally laced the food with anti-depressants, depending on how you've been, he'd lace the food with other medications but you caught him once with the anti-depressants so that you know for sure. There was nothing you could do about it at this point though, nothing but cry.

You were horrified, fuck, you were never gonna get out of here.

[rinrinx2]

Ok so we all know that shinichiro is a big family guy. He loves his family and would love to have kids with his s/o. So I wanted to request a fic where reader and shin are married and are trying for a baby but it hasn’t been successful so they go to a doctor to see what’s wrong. It turns out that reader can’t have kids. Obviously she didn’t know but it’s heartbreaking for them. Reader has been depressed after thinking that shin would leave her. Shin wouldn’t leave her because he loves her and comforts her.

Hope you like it♡

.

6: 45

Shinichiro x reader

Warnings: Kinda angst, Straight up sadness, Fluff at the end.

It must of been some sick joke your mind was playing on you as the words of the doctor played over and over in your mind like some tormenting movie that you were forced to watch.

"I'm sorry Mrs Sano but you're unable to bare a child"

The clear expression of the doctor with her soft saddened smile as she revealed the reason why you were struggling to fall pregnant etched into your memory. The image only causing more tears to spill from your eyes.

Your heart was sucken to the deepest pits within unable to come to terms that you would never have a child. You would never be able to hold a being that you carried for 9 months in your arms, you would never be a mother and to make it worst Shinichiro would never be a father.

You knew how important family was to Shinichiro, and how much he wanted one of his own. So, now with this reality presented infront of you, you knew what would be the outcome causing you to cry even more as you mourned a child you would never know.

'It's only a matter of time' your mind told you.

Your knew that once you would break the news to Shinichiro that soon, he would depart permanent from you. What was the use of being with a woman who couldn't even provide such a basic need and you would be alone child barren and with no hand to hold or shoulder to cry on.

The thought alone causing more tears to fall like a crashing wave on the rough rocks of the shore.

So heartbroken that you hadn't even heard your husband enter what was supposed to be your shared bedroom.

"Hey (Y/N) you see my wrench" he asked looking over at your figure. Your figure that was hunched over, with your hands covering your beautiful face as the most heart breaking sobs emitted from your lips.

Quickly Shinichiro moved to sit beside you, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull your closer, as you peaked through your fingers to see the worried expression on his face causing fresh tears to spill like a waterfall.

"What's wrong (Y/N)" Shinichiro asked softly waiting for your response; but he waited in vain as he was only met with silence and the sound of your tears.

"Are you sad because I ate the last pudding"

"I'm sorry I ate the last pudding I didn't mean to but I was so hungry and work was running late so I just-"

"I'm not sad about the pudding" you sniffled out with a laugh. Even when you were sad he was able to make you laugh, you would miss this quality of his so much, the thought alone drowning out the laughter that had escaped your lips.

"Then what's bothering you (Y/N)?" Shinichiro asked again.

You could hear the worry in his voice as he asked, and it only made your heart break further. How cruel it would be to break the news to him, like snatching away the kne joy he wanted.

"I dont wanna say you'll hate me" you said through tears.

"Come on (Y/N) there's nothing in this world you could do that would make you hate me, okay maybe if you ate the last pudding I'd be upset but I'd never hate you"

And as you heard Shinichiro words your confidence came back slowly, and yet there was still apart of your mind that told you that once you told him he would never be the same, he would never be yours again. Yet you knew it would be selfish to keep him in a world full of delusions only to one day have it ripped from below his feet.

So,with a deep breath and a mind full of doubt, you slowly removed your hands from your face. Your eyes now starring into his his as you spoke yourself into the future that you were terrified to be in.

"I can't have a child" You said hurriedly, forcing the words to come out in one breath.

"You mean you don't want one" Shinichiro said his eyes flickering down, his face painted with disappointment and hurt and you knew now what would be his next words.

'It's going to happen now' your mind said preparing you for the moment he would say he no longer wished to share a bed with you or a life.

"I thought you we agreed that we'd have a child and we'd have our own little family, could you please tell me why you don't want a child anymore?"

"Shinichiro it's not that I don't want one, I physically can't have one. The doctor said I'm unable to bare a child" You said as the repeated words of the doctor reached your ears again now coming from your own voice causing tears to spill once again.

Now both the pain of not being able to have a child and the stark realization that your husband was going to leave you were the reasons for the trail of tears streaming down your cheeks.

"(Y/N) I know this must be a very difficult thing for you to hear, and I want you to know that I'll be here for you, I'll be someone who you can really on for support, a hand to hold and shoulder to cry on when things feel to tough, I'll always be here for (Y/N) ... and as for us, we'll be fine. Just because you can't have a child doesn't mean we can't have one. We can adopt a child and as long as we love and care for it, it doesn't matter if it's not biologically ours or not as long as we have each other that's all that matter" Shinichiro said as his hand grabbed yours as his eyes starred into yours.

"You're not going to leave me?" You quietly asked, the fear of him still leaving you still heavily sitting on your mind.

"I didn't marry you to be a breeding machine, I married you because I wanted you to the the first person I see in the morning and the last at night. I married you because I love you and I don't want to live a life where you're not in it. I don't care about the rest, I just want you (Y/N).

And finally for the first time that day a smile finally appeared on your face at hearing Shinichiro's words.

Slowly your arms wrapped around his shoulders embracing him in a hug. You truly had married the kindest man in the world willing to accept and love you no matter what. No matter the hardships he would be beside you.

"I love you, Shinichiro"

"I love you too, (Y/N) ... besides now I don't need to use a rubber when we do it.

.

.

.

All rights reserved to @rinrinx2

[skazoo]

bloody rose.

↳ huh yunjin x gn!reader

she killed you and it felt like a kiss.

length. 0.9k

genre. dystopian!au, lovers to enemies 🤭🤭, angst🫶🏼

warnings/tags. language, violence, mention of blood and wounds (cuts, scratches, bruises), brain washing :(

networks. @kflixnet

notes. for my beloved girlfriend (yunjin, real) i offer this angsty sad drabble adapted from a very angsty and sad dream i had 🤲🏼 also, i hope it's as pain inducing as i wanted it to be!!! wanna see the tears and hear the cries guys :)

was listening to ultraviolence (yes i'm yet again in my lana period dont talk to me)

i'm desperate for feedback and i love comments with your opinion!

(cross-posted on ao3 only)

navigation

it hurts. 

not the deep cuts in your arms that burn; the cold air lashes at them as you fly through the trees of the dark forest. trees that feel alive, closing on you as soon as you pass them.

not the sprained ankle that pulses under your weight with every hurried step you take.

not the bruises on your ribs, glaring and purple, peeking from the thin layer of your shirt.

what hurts is running away from her. feeling your throat burn as you try to escape her. hearing her inhumanly quick steps thumping on the forest’s ground, chasing after you, not willing to stop before she gets to you. that is what’s causing you so much pain.

you make the mistake of turning your head. a shiver runs up your back when you catch her uncovered eye glaring at you, iris burning a deep red, so different from what you were used to.

before they took her everything was perfect in its imperfection. joining the rebellion together, fighting for what you believed in —for your lives— getting to sleep beside her on the small and uncomfortable cots scattered around the rebel base. in your shackled existence of tyrannies and dystopian dictators, that was the first taste of freedom you were ever graced with and when they took it away from you, ripping it– her from your hands clawing at the body of your friends struggling to keep you from following the metal soldiers holding her unconscious body, that’s when you died for the first time.  

weeks passed and before today you’d only seen her once. her right eye covered by a black eyepatch, her left void of emotion, a metal patch over her heart, her modified body a shell of what your yunjin used to be. 

you’d watched, hidden behind the tall trees that lined the edge of the forest behind you, holding your breath as she’d made her way through the ruins of what you’d called home. the rebellion headquarters reduced to rubble by bombs during the night, mangled bodies scattered around and white dust of debris still settling in the first light of the day.

heeseung had covered your mouth with his hand to muffle the sobs that had threatened to rip from your throat, dragging you away, deep in the coniferous forest, a trembling eunchae following close behind. 

after a week of running, you’d hoped they’d lost your tracks but the metal clinking echoing through the forest waking you up from a restless sleep had told you otherwise.

now you run again, with all your might, towards your uncertain goal. you can’t even see where you’re going, only following heeseung’s breathless pants in the night as he holds eunchae’s hand tightly in his.

it’s their pained screams as they unexpectedly tumble down a steep slope of leaves, fallen branches, and friable rocks, that make you freeze. 

you hear eunchae cry as the older boy tries to get her to move again, tears in his eyes, shushing the girl who's the key to the rebellion's success with a panicked expression.

the forest becomes eerily quiet. the sound of the night swallowed by the ringing of suspense in your ears.

behind you, the metallic steps of yunjin and the soldiers have ceased, and you turn around slowly; your whole body shuddering from the anticipation of what certainly feels like the end. death by her hands.

under the light of the moon —voyeuristic and cold— that tries to penetrate the layers of pine needles, everything loses its outline. lost the right direction and standing in a pool of black the only thing that’s left for you to do is buy your friends some time. you can already hear eunchae’s heartbroken sobs as she adds you to the list of people —friends, family— that sacrificed their lives for her. you can feel heeseung’s hate, his helpless disappointment as you leave him to reach the finish line alone. but there, in the silence, bloody and tired, you smile at the future that they’ll see if your martyr does its job.

a past you’re not getting back, a future that’s not yours to live. is life loss? will death be a victory? a prize?

the question spoken into the universe gets no answer. you open eyes that you didn't realize were closed and you’re met with red.

she stands immobile, immovable. a breath between you. straight back, head high, hands tense by her sides.

“yunjin…”

silent, she stares at you– past you, and your hands can’t help but find her face. they trace her jaw, her cheeks. you don’t know who you’re trying to ground into reality.

“yunjin, please look at me. it’s me, it’s– it’s Y/N. please, i miss you so much.” so close yet so far away.

she doesn’t answer and your trembling mouth reaches for the corner of her mouth, then for the mole on her nose, for the center of her forehead and the tears flowing freely from your eyes fall on her face.  

“i love you, please. i’m sorry.” for what? “come back to me.” words a whispered sob, just for her to hear.

it hurts. the void in her eyes.

"my baby..."

love is blind hope. hope that she’ll wake up and remember herself and the life she had before they took her. hope that your memory is stronger than any mind prison they put her in.

a single bloody tear slowly makes its way down her left cheek. the last thing you see before her metal hand strikes you. 

you drift to darkness. second death.

[stargazer6969]

!Trigger Warnings!:

Fluff, Cussing, and SH

Chapter 3 of Halloween Night

Chapter 3

That same night, I was in bed, sobbing into my pillow. God, this shouldn’t hurt so much but it dose! It’s just a stupid high school crush but for some reason it hurts like hell. I feel stupid for even liking him, I feel stupid for even thinking he liked me, I feel stupid for even going to that party! The more I think about it, the worse I feel. I feel as if there someone suffocating me, because suddenly I can’t breath. My room is filled with my sharp gasps as I hyperventilate, and I quickly stand up from my bed and move to my closet. I pull out a lego box that I still have from when I was younger and desperately dig through it until I finally find it- a sharp piece of broken glass. My hands are shaking, making it hard for me to hold onto it so I tighten my grip until my knuckles turn white and my fingers begin to bleed. I roll up my sleeve and slice the glass through my skin.

Blood seeps from the cuts like raindrops rolling down a window as I slice three more cuts through my skin. Then another. Then another. Then another. I dont stop until my arm is more blood then skin, and until I’m numb- numbness, a feeling I know all to well. I dont crave it, I dont yearn for it, but its better than sadness. And what better way to numb myself than slicing through my own skin? The next day I wore long sleeves.

I see Matt walk up to me, a small smile on his face as if nothing had even fucking happened. “Hey!” He says, his white teeth showing as he greets me with a smile. “Hey,” I respond, burning a fake smile on my face. “So, me, Chris, Nick, and Anna are planning on going to this carnival! You wanna come? Chris is inviting anna right now”

”Sure, what time?”

”This Saturday around noon, so probably 12. You in?”

”Mmmmm, yeah, why not!”

”Great! Ill pick you up at 12!” He says before walking off.

IM PACKING UP EVERYTHING I might need in a small bag when I hear Matt honk his horn right outside my house. I walk down the stairs and out the door as Matt steps out of the car, opening his arms to greet me with a hug. “Hey!” He says, his tone exited. I wrap my arms over his shoulders and I feel my face heat up as his arms wrap around my waist. He lets go and thank god he doesn’t see the pink on my cheeks as we start walking to the car. Chris is sitting in the passenger seat, while Nick, Anna, and I sit in the back. I was anxious at first to go, but we all started talking and things seemed…normal. It hurts but I like it at the same time. Eventually, we get to the carnival, and as I step out of the car I'm hit in the face with the strong aroma of deep fried food. A wide grin creeps across my face at the smell so familiar to me. Carnivals were always nostalgic to me since my dad and I always used to go to them when I was younger.

The first few hours are a blast. We ride rides, we eat tasty snacks and small treats, and the day is filled with laughter. It almost makes me forget about the party, until we're all sitting down on a small picnic table to take a break to eat a real meal instead of snacks. Nick got a hotdog, Chris got a meatball sub with Pepsi, and Matt got a chili dog while me and Anna shared a bucket of cheese-fries since neither of us were that hungry. “Guys, I cannot get over that Halloween party!” Nick says. Me and Anna look at each other and back at Nick as he keeps talking. “God I had, like, the best time! And the host, Samantha, was so nice! I got wasted and she stayed with me while I threw up. She even drove me home! God I love her, she’s such a queen.” He says, not knowing what happened at the party between me and Matt.

Anna, like the amazing friend she is, tries to change the subject. “So guys, I was thinking that after this we could all go back to my house and-” Matt cuts her off “I guess so, but that party was kinda mid if i'm being honest” He says as if Anna wasn’t even talking. “I mean, I got kinda tipsy and made, like, the WORST decision of my life!” He says through laughter as I feel hot tears begin to form in my eyes.

“Yeah? What’d you do?” Nick asks, amusement and curiosity clear in his tone.

“Get this, I kissed Amber!” He says through laughs.

“No fucking way!” Chris exclames

“I know right! When I woke up the next morning and I realized what I did I couldn’t stop cringing! I mean, could you imagine? Me and amber” He says through obnoxious laughs. While he was laughing, I was blinking back tears as my sadness slowly turned into anger.

Without any warning I stand up, my hands balled into fists as I shout “Oh, was it really that bad?!” My knuckles begin to turn white, but I keep my eyes focused on Matt’s icy blue eyes that I once loved, but now despised. “God, Matt, I throw hint after hint after hint in your face in your still oblivious! I like you, matt! Is that so hard to understand?! Or at least I used to before I learned what a piece of shit you really are! I mean, even if I didn’t have feelings for you, who just keeps going on about regretting that they kissed someone! You know what? I’m done, matt. I’m done with you, I'm done with your stupid jokes, I'm done. I’m just done. Do you know how exhausting it is to find someone that you really like, only to watch them degrade you and embarrass you? I’m leaving, and I don't think I ever wanna see you again.” I say as hot tears begin to stream down my face like lava seeping out of a volcano. I turn around and walk away, not even looking back.

[lucstarz]

— ☆ ̇ ̟ 𝕴 𝕷𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝖄𝐨𝐮 𝕾𝐨 : 𝙊𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩



𝓢𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝗜𝗡 𝗪𝗛𝗜��𝗛..

Jay had come to realize he had fallen for Aelia even though she was in love with another.

᭥ ★ The atmosphere was tense to Jay. It wasn’t as joyful as it was earlier as Jay watched Aelia get off her elemental dragon silently with red eyes. You could tell she was crying.

Aelia stood quietly as the others partied about their victory against the cursed realm; civilians praising the ninja, especially Nya for taking down the ghosts.

But despite everyone celebrating Jay knew something was wrong with the girl and the second they locked eyes he knew immediately.

Tears poured down the girls cheeks as her body shivered. Maybe she was cold? It didn’t matter, she had just experienced something she’d never wish to experience. The death of the man she loved.

Jay wanted to comfort her. To reach out to her. To hold her. But wait.. Why was he thinking of these things? He never thought such thoughts before. He was confused. Way too confused.

The male watched helplessly as Irena slowly approached Aelia. The second the girl got close to her Aelia ran into her arms and began sobbing, muttering unidentifiable words that the male couldn’t hear. But Irena heard them very clearly.

Jay wanted to reach out and comfort Aelia. He really did. He wanted to hold her and tell her everything was all right. He knew this feeling was something not to ignore. He knew it was something more than what he expected. But.. How could he express it to Aelia.

Jay knew Aelia was in pain because of Morro, the elemental master of wind. He knew something had happened between the two of them while she was kidnapped. He knew.. she had fallen for him..

But why? He wondered. Maybe it was to forget something.. Or someone. Jay had zero clue but at that current moment he felt like his heart was shattering at the sight of Aelia’s broken heart.

“Aelia.. Hey.. Let’s go inside and talk about this.. Okay..?” Irena soothed the weeping girl as she clung onto her best friends outfit. It was inevitable, she knew this was bound to happen. That’s what happens when you fall in love with a ghost..

Slowly walking past the male, Aelia sniffled quietly as she held her head down. She didn’t want Jay to see her in such a state. But.. Jay wanted to comfort her.. Badly.

“Aelia.. Wait-”

Irena glanced at Jay before shaking her head at the male, signaling that it was not the time. But.. Jay knew there was more to the look that she was giving him.. She was hiding something from him.. Something important that he should know..

Jay helplessly watched as the two girls walked out of his sight. A voice from behind him snapped Jay out of his running thoughts as he looked back to see his best friend, Cole, stare at him with a frown.

“You know.. She was in love with the guy. Anyone could tell…” Cole started as Jay looked down at his feet with a slow nod.

“I know.”

Cole stepped closer as he waved his hand in front of Jay’s face.

“You know.. This is partially your fault…”

Jay looked up at Cole in surprise as he stared in shock.

“Wait.. My fault..?” He slowly questioned as Cole nodded. Cole sighed before shaking his head.

“She loves you.. I’m not sure if she still does but.. Irena says she loves you.. Aelia does.. But you loved.. Nya.”

Cole paused slightly before frowning. It also reminded him of the time he liked Nya. But now he had Irena, but. She wasn’t entirely his. Not yet at least.

“Don’t let her go.. Jay.. Or you’re going to miss the opportunity and regret to.. Like i’m regretting it.”

Jay looked Cole in the eye as Cole looked back at him with a sad smile.

“Cole.. I…”

Cole shook his head again.

“Don’t feel bad for me.. You should worry about comforting Aelia.. She needs someone… She needs you.”

Jay nodded. Cole was right. He shouldn’t be standing here worried when he could be doing something for her.

“Thank you Cole.. And.. Please dont wait until it’s too late for Irena.. We all know how much you like each other…”

Before Cole could respond, Jay ran off towards the direction Irena and Aelia went, leaving the male to stand there before letting out a quiet laugh.

“You dork.. You’re right..”

꒷︶ ̇ ̟ ෆ ‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿ ෆ ̟ ̇ ︶꒷

Jay made his way through the crowd of civilians as he made his way towards the inside of the boat where Aelia and Irena were located. Making his way to the entrance he noticed the two girls.

Irena looked up at the male as she widened her eyes. But the sight of Jay made her smile as she motioned him to stay out for a second.

“Aelia.. I will be back in a minute. Hold still..”

Irena got up quietly from her spot as she made her way towards the entrance before patting Jays back.

“Good luck..” She whispered out to the male before she walked back to the deck of the boat leaving the two alone.

Jay felt his words get caught in his mouth as he slowly walked towards the girl who sat down on the floor with lifeless eyes. He didn’t know what to say. What could he say? The girl he felt connected to looked like a doll. Lifeless.

Bending down next to her, the male sat in Irena’s spot.

“Hey..”

Aelia didn’t move, nor did she look at him. She simply looked gone as she continued to stare down at the ground. Dried up tears were evident on her cheeks and her eyes were swollen.

“Aelia.. Please.. Look at me..” Jay muttered out. Aelia didn’t budge making Jay worry.

Placing his hand under her chin Jay tilted her face to look up at him. Aelia’s red eyes stared back into Jay’s. Her body was cold. Scarily cold. As if she had Zane’s elemental powers.

“Aelia.. I’m… So sorry..”

Aelia continued to stare at the male. Her face never making any changes in expressions as her eyes dart along his face. He was worried.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.. I..”

Aelia blinked owlishly at the sudden revelation. What did Jay mean. She didn’t know.

The girl ran her tongue over her dry lips as she watched Jay’s eyes dart down towards them before immediately glancing back up at her.

“I..”

Aelia shook her head slightly..

“Don’t apologize.. You have.. nothing to be sorry for..” Aelia said hesitantly as he stared back at the male. She knew now what he meant but she wasn’t so sure..

“Everything.. It’s..”

Jay hurriedly placed his hand over her mouth as tears pricked his eyes.

“You’re wrong Aelia. Everything is not going to be okay so don’t say that to me!..”

Jay cupped Aelia’s face in both of his hands as tears began to run down his cheek.

“It’s not okay.. It’s not.. You loved him.. And…”

Jay paused making Aelia curiously glance at the male. His ears were

slightly red as he held her eye.

“It’s.. Its not okay.. You’re not okay..”

Aelia only nodded slowly, agreeing with the male’s words before placing her hands on the underside of Jay’s.

“You’re right.. It’s.. not okay..”

Jay hesitantly placed his forehead against the females as she sucked in a harsh breath.

“J-Jay..?” Aelia muttered out dumbfounded as she felt her face warm.

“Can we just.. Stay like this for a moment.. Please…” Jay begged out quietly making the girl pause before nodding quietly..

“We can..”

Jay felt relief wash over his body as he wrapped the girl in his embrace. He smiled into her hair as he held her close to his chest.

Aelia felt.. Safe.. In the males embrace.. It felt.. Right.. This felt right.. This moment felt right to her..

“Jay..” Aelia quietly muttered out.

Jay pulled away from the girl before he locked eyes with her. A confused glance on his face as she smiled at him.

“Thank you..”

Jay’s eyes sparkled slightly. He pulled Aelia back into his embrace with a smile on his face.

“Anytime.. Aelia...”

‘ . ៸៸ For Saturn <3 (@peachop)

━ © LUCSTARZ ,, 2023

[crystalsnow95z]

Just a quick write because I'm feeling really low in life right now. I'm sorry if it's not any good but I want an outlet for my emotions. Trigger warning: depression.

"Taehyung-ah? It's dinner time." Jimin calls outside the bedroom door, but gets no reply. The boys decided to rent a place so they could have their last night as seven together. Taehyung was feeling tired from his long flight from Mexico and went to lay down.

*is he fall asleep?* Jimin opens the door to check. Taehyung was underneath the blanket curled up. He was about to leave when he hears a shaky breath come from his friend.

"TaeTae are you crying?" Jimin sits on the bed, pulling the blanket away from Taehyung's face. He had his face buried in the pillow, but Jimin still heard the muffled sob.

Jimin pulls the pillow away and pulls Taehyung to him. "Tae, why are you crying?'

Taehyung doesn't answer, he just buries his face into Jimin's chest. Jimin could feel the younger vocalist trembling, his heart pounding hard in his chest.

"Taehyung, you need to breathe.." Jimin tells him softly when he hears him hyperventilating. "I'm here with you now, and whatever is wrong, we can figure it out together. Please don't cry.. You're going to make me cry too." Jimin says, but it was already too late. A tear rolls down his cheek.

Taehyung tries to take some deep breaths to calm himself, but they don't work. They come out as coughs. Jimin strokes his back, pressing his head against Taes.

J-hope walks into the room to see what's taking so long and quickly rushes to the bed.

"Taehyung is crying? Why? Why?" He says loud enough for the others to hear and it only takes a few moments for all seven boys to be in the room.

"I don't know. He's crying too much to tell me." Jimin replies to J-hope.

Jungkook sits on the bed, petting Taehyungs head. "Don't cry hyung.."

"Let him cry. We can talk after he lets it all out." Namjoon tells them. "Just know that we all love you Tae."

Taehyung nods, sitting up from Jimin's chest to wipe his face. Jimin helps him try to dry his eyes. Taehyung takes a deep breath finally finding his voice, it coming out small and shaky. "I'm sorry.."

Jungkook goes on the bed."V-hyung.. you dont have to be sorry..what's making you cry?"

"It's..It's just been a lot of things building up.." Taehyung is hardly understood from his voice shaking so much.

"We can figure it out together whatever it is, okay?" J-hope tells him, hugging him to his chest.

"Seojin-hyung is leaving tomorrow, and it won't be long until the others leave too.. we've been together for so long..I can't imagine not being able to call you whenever I like..just wondering if you guys will be okay..' Taehyung is hardly understood through the tears that started running full force down his cheeks.

"Voo, don't worry I'll be okay, I'll call and message as much as I can, and I'll be as careful as I can be." Seojin tells him, offering his arms out to hug him. Taehyung accepts, holding him close.

The sight of Taehyung crying brought Jungkook to tears as well, and he had similar worries.

"I'll do my best to come back as quick as possible. Please don't cry over me. The time will fly by." Seojin let's go of Taehyung to hug onto Jungkook. "The same goes for you."

"It's been hard to be happy since covid hit..and right when I start to feel happy again..we had to announce our hiatus for our solo projects before we all joined the military and I'm really struggling to be happy with my music.. I know army have been waiting for years.." taehyung let's out his emotions.

"I'm scared about my album too.." jungkook admits. "I was so scared doing dreamers.. I really prefer performing as 7..I want to do my best for army.."

"I don't want to be a solo artist. I want to stay as 7.. but there's so many rumors we're disbanding even after we told them we aren't.." Taehyung voiced his fears.

The members took turns sharing their worries, the older members that already made solo albums giving them advice.

"Just because you make solo music doesn't mean you still aren't BTS." Yoongi tells them."I made solo music, and that didn't change anything."

"We said we would continue to make music together for years to come, remember? As long as we trust in each other and army trusts us, we'll make it." Namjoon tells them.

The boys continue to pour their hearts out to one another until they hear Teahyungs stomach growl. He had hardly eaten that day because he was stressed out, but after talking, he was feeling better.

"Let's go get you some food." Jimin takes his hand. "No matter what we're in this together. I love you Taetae. Don't forget it."

[smolcuriouskitten]

My Guardian Angel

The horrifying bomb will never leave my head. Followed by the sounds of my citizens screaming and running for cover will haunt me forever. Waking up with a start, I ran to check on my girls, since their safety was my priority. Looking at the window in the girls rooms, I see flames and objects raining down like it was the middle of the apocalypse. Rockelle looked up at me with a look of horror and went to grab Renelle who started crying from the noise. "Mommy, whats going on?" She asks, her voice shaking as she soothed Renelle and I felt my heart break right there.

"We can walk and talk, follow me!" I responded, holding her hand with a vice grip, not wanting to let her go, even for a minute. As I rushed to the emergency bunker, I explain what happened. Our enemy planet Derion was at war with us, I explained how they have wanted to drain us of our resources and threatened to harm us for our powers. Witches auras were a commodity worth killing for, the amount of concentrated power could be used to make weapons and hypnosis would be so easy with the help of our auras.

Nekoian had unlimited power sources and teachings to help the witches regulate themselves, which is why I fought so hard with Derion to not go to war with us over it. That promise was broken the moment they threatened my childrens lives. Their older brother was hiding away on Earth to keep himself safe as he is the eldest and most powerful witch and they were not gonna lay a hand on my son. When we reached the emergency space ship, I kiss Rockelle on the forehead, ignoring the citizens pleas for help for the moment. "My darling flower. I need you to be brave okay? Watch after your sister and keep yourselves safe. Im sorry, you guys have to go to Earth without me." I held her face and kissed her forehead, tears running down my face.

Her pleas and questions fell on deaf ears. Her pleas to stay and help and why did she have to go to earth. "Why cant we stay here with you mommy?" Her little voice called after me as I grabbed supply bags making me sob, throwing them in the little space ship. "You cant baby. You will get hurt if you stay. We dont have much time.." I said, grabbing two language potions, turning them into little gummies for them. "Open your mouth my love." I instructed Rockelle and she complied, they both chewed the gummy and made an icky face. "I know it doesnt taste the best but it would help you when you land. You know how to feed Renelle and change her diaper?" Rockelle nods as I instruct her to sit in the ship, buckling a cooing Renelle in the ship seat.

"I love you both. I will see you guys soon okay?" My hand shook as they pressed art the control panel and closed the ships doors. "Bye bye mommy." I look over and see Renelle waving with her little hand as the ship shoots into space. That was her first word. Those were her first words. I want to crumble into a ball and cry, not move an inch and mourn the fact I could possibly never see my daughters again. But there were citizens I had to save and people to help. The castle shook with a vicious boom, I ran outside to see the planet I loved in flames.

The once beautiful and full of life planet I called home was reduced to rubble and flames. Bodies laid at the stairs of the castle and it was all so traumatic to see, rushing to help those I could. Some couldnt be saved and I hated watching them wither away in my arms. The citizens were dropping at a rate I couldnt help them anymore. The fountains for healing were sucked dry and the planet was burning at a rate no one could keep up with. I accepted my fate, I accepted that I would no longer be able to help anyone and I would die alongside my citizens. A just death for a queen who failed to protect them in the first place.

Then a hand roughly grabbed my arm, another bomb narrowly missing me. "RENIA. WE HAVE TO GO!" The voice called with a rushed tone and my ears were still ringing from the blast, the dust and rubble filling my lungs making me cough and hack. I didnt know who grabbed me until I seen those converse and blue suit. The Doctor.

My husband was preparing to fight in the war and my fingers were bleeding from how much I was biting my nails. He just enlisted and it broke my heart knowing it was a death sentence but he insisted. "What kind of husband would I be if I didnt fight for my beautiful wife and children?" He placed his hand on my stomach and kissed my forehead.

Even though it put me at ease for a moment, a chill ran up my spine knowing the truth. "I know my love but if you arent here for Rockelles birth, I will kick your butt." I joke and we both share a laugh as he packs his things to prepare. I slowly make my way downstairs and hear that familiar creaking noise. I rush outside to greet my old friend, happy he came by. I waited outside of the blue box's doors and hugs him tightly once he steps out. "Goodness someone was happy to see me. How are we dear?" He asks and pets my head before hugging me back.

"I am wonderful! Raymond is heading off in a bit for the war but Chris is in school and..." I gently take his hand and press it on my belly. "I am expecting another very soon." I tell him with a bright smile on my face and his eyes light up, a wide grin stretched across his face. "You are huge! Congratulations! And here I thought you wanted to join me in some adventures!" He teases before wrapping me in another hug making me wheeze but I pat his back. Some people would say he was strange or a mad man but I didnt care. He was my friend!

"I would if I wasnt a queen of a planet my love! Too many responsibilities I would miss!" I wheeze out, he releases me and I laugh. "Those responsibilities could be done so much faster if time was not so slow! Being a timelord, I have no patience. So what about this war? What did I miss?" He rambles and I giggle, pointing to a nearby power fountain. "It takes time to learn patience and even if you are a timelord, you cant rush it! But they are fighting us over those." He pauses and looks in the direction she points at.

"A water fountain? Such a strange thing to fight over." I snort and laugh, shaking my head. "No no, not that kind of fountain! Its what our powers come from, they want complete control over our magic! The magic we have is powerful so they want to use it for their own gain. I am going to send Chris to Earth in the name of protection soon, they are wanting his head on a stake for his powers since hes the eldest." I explain, him nodding and humming with every word. "Earth? Why do you want to send him away? Seems like a bad idea if you dont have anyone to look after him." The doctor replied and I shook my head.

"I have my connections. I frequent Earth more often than you think. They cant track him there either so he would be safe." I respond and make a gesture to the castle. "If you like you can come in for a bit! I wanted your opinion on some converse inspired by you." I offer and he hums, tapping his chin. "Have you redecorated since the last time I was here?" He asks and I roll my eyes. "I dont want to hear anything from a man who lives in a telephone box. Come on love, we are burning daylight!" I grab his hand and pull him along, the goofy smile was prominent on his face.

"And I dont wanna hear anything from anyone who has to drink milk. Milk is disgusting, I dont understand how you drink it! Tastes like sadness and slime." He gags and Renia snorts. "Do you want me to make a ginger joke? Or lack there of?" She quips and he gasps, looking offended.

"HEY!"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! MY CITIZENS, DOCTOR PLEASE!" I yelled but he didnt stop running. As much as I wanted to stop and fight, use my magic to put me as a statue, I was too weak to do so. My magic was drained and I needed to recharge. "DOCTOR LISTEN TO ME!" I kept pleading but Im practically pushed into the Tardis, door slammed in my face as I tried to crawl out. He stayed silent as he fiddles with the Tardis and gets us out of there.

I wasnt thinking clearly. All I could focus on was the citizens I failed and how my death would have been justified. To die alongside my people as I lived alongside them, it was the only thing I could do to fix the sin of not being able to save everyone. "You idiot! What did you do?! Why did you have to save me?! WHY?!" I got up and began to fuss, hitting his back and crying.

This is when he grabs my shoulders and looks at me with a look of disappointment. "Why do all of you want to die so bad? I swoop in and help and here I am getting beat up! That isnt fair Renia now is it?" Despite his anger and how tightly he held me, his voice was calm. He was always so calm and in that moment it did nothing but piss me off. "I should have died along side them! I failed them, I failed everyone and my damn daughters are floating somewhere in space and I dont know what right I did at this point I...I.." At this point, my face was red and hot, tears coated my soot dusted face and I couldnt form a sentence. My tears, snot, and saliva was causing me to gargle and mess up my words.

He sighs and just holds me in his arms and I screamed. I screamed and cried, hitting his arms and sides with not a single bit of force because of how weak I was. Despite my flailing and screaming, he kept holding me. He didnt let go. He just held me there and let me release how I felt in that moment. It was the lowest moment of my life and all I could do was scream and cry into his chest.

After who knows how long, I calmed down. It wasnt by much, I was shaking and crying but the screaming subsided. My throat felt rough so I couldnt bring myself to keep doing it. He pulls away to look at me and held my face in both of his hands, not caring about my tears or snot getting on him. "Feel better now?" He asked calmly and I gave a nod in between my stifled cries. "Come on, lets go get you cleaned up. Your face is puffy and dirty and if you rub your eye you may get dirt in it." He comments and leads me to the TARDIS bathroom where I washed my face and he washes his hands.

He leads me to a common room and sits on the couch, patting the seat next to him. I sat next to him, doing those stupid 'aftershock cries' shaking. "Are you ready to talk about it?" He asks and I took a deep breath. "This morning....they attacked. The attacked the entire planet and I had to get my girls out of there. Once they were out in space, I tried to save everyone...I couldnt do it." I began to get choked up and he rubs my shoulder. "I accepted my death. It was...It was fate. I accepted that was the last time I would see my daughters alive and I would die on the planet, never to be seen again." The Doctor held me in his arms again and I couldnt cry, I just felt numb at this point.

"Ya know...Renelle, she said her first word...before she launched. My heart broke into pieces as I seen her little hand wave at me..." I admitted and the Doctor strokes my hair, scratching a bit at the scalp. "Im sorry Renia." He responds shortly and pulls away to look at me. I cover my face and shake my head, embarrassed that he had to see me this way. My eyes were puffy and red and my face was stained with tears. "Oi, I just seen you at your lowest point, no need to be embarrassed. Im just glad you got you and the kiddos out of there safely." He said in a hushed tone, gently pulling my hands away from my face.

"Doctor...How will I know they are okay? My...my aura it can't trace in space and I will be worried sick and I-" I began to ramble, hyperventilating and starting the panic attack all over again until the Doctor takes my hand. "Renia. Now you know that theres a way for me look after them." He explained and I tilt my head. "What are you referring to?" I respond and he leads me back upstairs, to a tablet outstretched for viewing. He pushes a few buttons and sure enough, the little spaceship they had was flying to Earth. My girls were safe.

I looked over at the Doctor and he had a pleasant grin on his face. "Now will you stop your crying? I thought I would have to hold you like a baby for awhile." He teases and I snort, hitting his arm. "You better shut up before I make that converse into your pacifier." I stick my tongue out at him then he chuckles. "Oi!" He fusses back which I promptly laugh.

"Wait...what were you doing on Nekoian? Today seems like a weird day to travel." Renia asks as she sniffles, wiping her nose with some tissue. The Doctor pauses then leans against the controls. His head hung low for a bit then he looks at her. "I was doing a routine visit until I seen the bomb. I thought I was at the wrong planet for a moment until I landed. I only noticed you because you were the only one actively helping people." He admits, my heart breaking at that notion. "W...what?" I could feel my mouth dry as those words left my lips.

"Everyone else was scrambling to grab resources. Running to milk the planet dry for themselves, even in their last moments. I suppose humanity does have a strange way of acting when they know they are going to die." He continued and his gaze returns to mine, which my vision was blurred from tears. "Why did you pull me away then? I could have helped them Doctor I...I could have gotten them to safety!" I pleaded and he gave me a look through a narrowed gaze.

"Does Nekoian have any safety protocols?" He asks and I shake my head. "Not for bombs no." I reply. "How would you have gotten everyone off the planet then? So you could save them? Where would they have gone Renia? Remember, you gave your daughters the last ship off the planet." He reminded me and I could feel the lump in my throat as I cried. "Dont you judge me, we could have raised together and defeated them and rebuilt!" I pleaded then he averts his gaze.

"Renia. There wouldnt have been anything to rebuild. There wouldnt have been enough time, you didnt have enough time. If I didnt come within enough time, your planet would have been reduced to atoms. Im sorry but there was nothing you could have done." He explained and I sobbed. "No...I created everything with my bare hands and those bastards took it away from me!" I stomp, then wipe my eyes, sniffling. I look over at the screen with my girls...They were still safe.

"Listen to me. You may not have been able to save everyone, believe me, you are looking at the captain of losing people, but you kept the two that mattered the most to you safe." He motions toward the screen and I nod, smiling a bit at it. "Even if you dont save everyone, you still do good by keeping the universe safe. Such a big task for one man in a box." I said looking over at him which he shakes his head with a chuckle. "Im supposed to be comforting you, not the other way around." He responds with folded arms and I snort. "Oh hush, we can kill two birds with one stone." I respond and give him a hug. "Even if I am still royally pissed off at you, I will thank you for bringing me the peace of mind that my daughters are safe. I may not thank you today for what you did but I will another time." I admit and he pats my back.

"You are welcome." He responds and presses his head on top of mine then pulls away. "Now, how about we meet your daughters on Earth? Allonsy!" He then hops over to the Tardis controls and laughs as we both are briefly tossed around, the joyous sound filling the air. Despite how angry or sad or depressed I was in that moment, it was good to smile for a moment. It took away the stress and the pain and I looked over at the screen to see my daughters voyage. It brought comfort knowing I had someone this amazing in my circle.

[spatio-rift]

liveblogging i did in my notes app

first 25 minutes are really just nothingburger after nothingburger… no story or anything just 3 songs to introduce each group of characters in the story…

the villain has kind of a gay vibe but i dont like how he sings…. wait actually he talks the exact same way… he just lifts one corner of his mouth it pisses me off

also i dont like his 2014 ass hair

i dont understand whats going on. who is this kid. what is this tournament. im seriously so confused omfg what is going on

wait are the kids already dating . shouldnt they have said something about this first. IM SO CONFUSED

what tf is this "symbol"… why are they building it… I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON what is the point of this song

is it still part of the introductory song compilation… for robin hoods companions or something

40 minutes in i still dont know what kind of story this is supposed to tell

this is a romantic duet but this girl is having a yuri experience with the forest girls at the same time it makes me laugh

the villain is like florent mothes salieri but hes too much of a diva so i dont like it as much

literally what tf is going on

this show is crazy they have songs about the most nothing moments but beats of the story that would be awesome if they progressed through song are completely silent or skipped entirely

i do think the shadows sequence looks really interesting

m pokora get up theyre taking away your son im sorry but you need to leave your wife behind shes only injured the villain is going to straight up kill the kid. hes who youre fighting for remember

m pokora has a crazy look in his eyes its so funny to me

im so pissed off m pokora abandoned his kid. that poor kid… right after he sang this whole number about him too

this diva always has his two shirtless men around so funny

i think this is a notre dame de paris type musical where there is a MINIMAL amount of talked dialogue however at least notre dame de paris has sung dialogue separate from bangers to make the story progress robin des bois is pretty much just 99% radio bangers so i DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON

the villains cunty little boob window and skirt ..

the kid only ever sings about his love but there was no context to that love im so over it

???? random anachronistic daft punk joke??

they skipped an interesting story beat to sing a nothingburger song again

why did they kill the cool black man. honestly thats on me i wasnt paying attention. but also why is the monk singing a homoerotic song about it. im sorry you lost your boyfriend mr tuck

caressing his face and holding his hand and all….. talking about the two of them being invicible and together forever…. sobbing into his chest… i think he just kissed him hello

i really do hate these 2014 haircuts sooo fucking badly

did they kill the bad guy??? when?????

why does the monk have so many songs i dont even know who he is and where he fits into the whole story

nevermind the villainous diva is there and chained up… lowkey sexily

what am i watching i seriously dont know whats going on where are they… is that the king…. are they getting married…. is the diva good now??? why is he being a good father ??? WHAT IS HAPPENING

i know this song i remember it. aujourd'hui on dit qu'il est temps maintenant on fait ce qu'on diitttt le jour qui se rêveeeeeee

i was waiting for the diva to show up for family time can they link arms and sing the last song tgt… no? alright …. whatever….

ok well i watched the whole show… did not understand one thing. i would still put it above 1789 on a tier list because i actually really disliked 1789s story (this one i just didnt understand) and at least robin des bois had a few bangers 1789s music is just whatever

[st4rryskiesc0]

The October-November con chronicles

That last post had me thinking about all the convention moments running around in the little brain of mine, so im posting them all there. MY BLOG MY POSTS!!!

FanX

I met a mumbo jumbo and I remember my big ear wings was in their face in the photo and i felt so bad. At least they had a little pesky bird plush they let me hold!!!

I was exhausted and nervous and saw a quackity cosplayer and so I ran up to them and said "oh my god i love your cosplay it looks so good!!" and they had friends around them and i said "all your lcosplays look so good oh my god its just so good all of you" and i just kept rambling because i was just so tired and didnt know how to human and they looked so awkward and they gave me a little casino coin as a gift and i felt so bad so im sorry if you ever see this quackity cosplayer in the pit :sob:

I met a tango and we stood in the middle of the stands area and he came up and shook my hand and we just kept shaking hands while we talked it was so fun !

THERE WERE SO MANY DREAM SMP COSPLAYERS MY GOD!!! all of them were so good though

I met a skeppy and I was like "oh my god have you found a badboyhalo yet?" THEIR FRIEND WAS BAD SOBBING CRYING THROWING UP I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE THEY WERE THERE!!! we laughed about it and moved on so it was okay :3

i met a double life impulse and Bdubs and i asked them "so ive noticed most people this year that are matching cosplay are partners, are you guys partners or just friends??" because i was trying to get a grasp on the FanX cosplayers economy and norms if that makes sense??? they were going as just friends they both had separate partners i was so embarassed sobbnig crying they understood though it wasnt a big deal

Anime Banzai

As soon as I got there I saw a wilbur soot cosplayer and went up to say hi and THERE WAS A CODFATHER JIMMY THERE!!! They recognized my Etho cosplay as *etho* and not kakashi and we just hung out the entire day it was amazing

When I first got there my spirit halloween kakashi mask was too tight because duh spirit halloween and you could see my entire mouth outline it was HORRIBLE i took back ups just in case but my only picture with codfather jimmy is with my too-tight kakashi mask and it kinda sucks ;w; it's alright though, we had so much fun it doesnt really matter

There was this little girl outside where there was a DJ type thing and she danced and the DJ danced with her and it was so cute. One of the singers from the Idol competition earlier came up and taught her how to do some dances and it was absolutely adorable, I loved it

This little kid also came up to me, codfather, and their friend cosplaying as toadette (? im not sure, i didnt ask what exactly they were all i knew was that it was amazing cosplay) with their little pochita stuffie they got and made gave us a bonk on the head with him and it was incredible and adorable

The idol competition was so cool but the announcer was ABWHEYGUTF it was... strange... between every performance they said "can i get an uwu?" it was horrible SOBBING CRYING it was still so fun though, he was very charming besides for that whole fiasco

during that same cosplay ocmpetition i didnt really know how to cheer???? i dont know, same thing as Fanx where I was exhausted and nervous and i just completely forgot how to person

this older guy came up to me and said "okay whats with the canada??" because for my etho cosplay I had a canada patch on my arm and I had to explain to him "im so sorry im not kakashi its a completely different character" and he walked away so confused and i felt so bad because he was an older lad and i felt like id just blown his mind and it was so awkward

thats it, fanx and anime banzai were so fun and im so glad I went :DD i met so many fun people and everyone was so nice !!

[withonly-sweetheart]

kisses you mwah mwah mwah "go big or go home" <- my standards exactly (and im not talking height... well technically i am just another one-)

The worst part of it all is: you really like him. He makes you feel like you're in high school again despite the fact that he's decades past that point in his life - it's the way your heart flutters in his presence, the way he makes your cheeks heat up when he compliments you. However, this is anything but an innocent crush. You want more than the kiss on the cheek he gives you when he greets you at your doorstep, more than his hand holding yours as he helps you step in and out of the car, more than his arm around your waist as he leads you to the table.

THIS. WHOLE. PARAGRAH. GRAHHHH this perfectly sums up what its like to go on dates when you're not a minor anymore like you know what you want and it still feels like you're a kid? so wanting that is wrong but you want it and you know it should feel right but you're too scared to act on it. which leads me into:

But, at the restaurant, you decide to order a double shot of liquid courage, which is a one-way ticket to going home with Joel.

OK GIRLLLLL I SEE U... baddiessss pose for me (ass fat slim thick no tummy) love the number implications because if u think abt it, its a double shot right which is supposed to be strong and she says one way which means she's not coming back... guys a ONE WAY TICKET MEANS YOU'RE NEVER GOING BACK MEANING SHE WANTS IT TO LAST DID I JUST COOK???

He gets so far as slipping his hand up your dress, but the moment his fingers brush the gusset of your panties, you grab his wrist.  "Joel—" "Yeah?" He's quick to sit up and back off completely — not exactly what you intended but you're grateful that he respects boundaries.

oh my god the respect is so amazing... like personally that would be such a green flag because being able to push away ur own desires to hear out what the s/o wants is just!! peak relationship behavior me wants...

Handjobs, blowjobs, the whole nine yards - well, really, the first three bases in the sports/sex analogy.

STOPPPP I NEVER GOT THAT ANALOGY ESP W SO MANY OF MY GUY FRIENDS PLAYING FOOTBALL AND BASEBALL LIKE I NEVER WAS INTO THAT... bc i love them <3 and also they're dumbshits so if i ever try and explain they start yapping abt innings and shit i dont really care abt <3 love ya ishanth ik ur stalking my rbs

It doesn't fit down your throat, not even close, but Joel's 50, not 20, so he knows that unlike in pornography, most women cannot deepthroat. He doesn't expect you to even attempt such a feat. Just looking into your eyes while you're on your knees for him is enough to get him there.

FUCKKKK I DONT CARE IF IT RIPS MY THROAT I WANT IT- sorry who was that?? anyways love the realisticness bc i feel like 10 inches and smol girl will not equal something very good so love how realistic this feels! always the relatable one, eh liz?

Gradually, it starts to feel better, a lot better. You start to understand why people like this so much.

... but i don't. thats why i read about it, cause the more ya know...

He doesn't know your sobs of pleasure well enough to be sure they're not ones of pain.

chat what... but that line was so smooth like ngl i would fold immediately if someone was that concerned that even during sex they were watching out for me... ermm.... ahriasdlkasdklas tweaks out

And it's not calculated dirty talk, it's just the goddamn truth.

it sure is *tips cowboy hat and gallops away on a brown horse*

"I swear you're gonna kill me with that thing," you say, gesturing to his cock, which looks not nearly as threatening when it's soft. When he lies down beside you and wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer, you think to yourself, "maybe I am dead, and this is heaven." You don’t realize you’ve said it aloud until Joel says, "I'm pretty sure we're still in Texas, baby.” "Same thing.”

the title ref?? gosh ur so smart thats so funny to me tho like imagine having ur thoughts just blurted out loud cause you cant keep them in... but ig you've already revealed yourself to that person if you've had sex with them? also "death by joel's cock; perfect way to go" an essay by jj - would you read it ik i would (im the goat)

liz liz liz... you maniacal pixie dream... you are the tofu to my vegan lovers burger (where tf did that come from tf) ilysm <3. loved this one.. will be thinking abt... for next few days... weeks... erm... hah.

everything's bigger in texas

pairing: joel x reader

tags/cws: size kink, praise kink, p in v, oral f and m receiving, virginity loss

summary: go big or go home on your first time

a/n: reader is a virgin, but is not specified to be a certain age and in my mind is only a bit younger than joel

div creds to @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

wc: 2k

tags: @vaaaaaiolet @faysslut @leonfucker3000 @withonly-sweetheart

It's embarrassing. It's the reason why you'd hesitated to even talk to Joel in the first place, fearing he might like you back, in which case, he might ask you out, and according to Cosmopolitan and the metaphorical grapevine, you would only get three dates at most before you'd have to end it. And you better not order the fucking lobster. Ever.

You get dolled up on the night you plan to bid him adieu. You'd feel horrible for wasting his time regardless, but the fact that he decides to treat you to dinner at a fancy restaurant for your third date, makes you feel even worse.

The worst part of it all is: you really like him. He makes you feel like you're in high school again despite the fact that he's decades past that point in his life - it's the way your heart flutters in his presence, the way he makes your cheeks heat up when he compliments you. However, this is anything but an innocent crush. You want more than the kiss on the cheek he gives you when he greets you at your doorstep, more than his hand holding yours as he helps you step in and out of the car, more than his arm around your waist as he leads you to the table.

You want him to fuck you.

You try to give yourself a pep talk in the mirror before he arrives, and for an extra confidence boost, you wear the singular pair of underwear in your drawer that matches the one bra that actually fits right, hoping it'll make you feel sexy. But what good is sexy if you’re not going to have sex?

But, at the restaurant, you decide to order a double shot of liquid courage, which is a one-way ticket to going home with Joel.

He drives with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on your thigh. He’s so hot that even the smallest things can get you worked up. It’s the first time in a long time that your arousal has been able to override your nerves.

You barely get your coat off before you’re pressed up against the door, and he’s kissing you with a type of hunger you’ve never felt before. You know he'll leave you with a case of stache-rash but you can't bring yourself to care.

You stumble across the room to the couch – you would’ve walked backwards into the coffee table if Joel hadn’t picked you up and carried you. You’re not even that drunk - at least, not on alcohol – just insistent on not breaking the kiss until you’re out of breath and you absolutely have to. 

When his body looms over you, all you're thinking about is the feeling of his lips on yours, his hands playing with your tits, making you gasp when his thumbs brush over your nipples. 

He gets so far as slipping his hand up your dress, but the moment his fingers brush the gusset of your panties, you grab his wrist. 

"Joel—"

"Yeah?" He's quick to sit up and back off completely — not exactly what you intended but you're grateful that he respects boundaries.

"I should just be honest with you. I’ve never done this before, so I’m a little nervous…"

You're more than a little bit nervous, especially when you're so used to guys making up excuses to leave when they notice your hesitance after you reveal the truth, after they find out that they're not guaranteed to have you in bed that night.

Joel doesn't kick you out, not even close, he looks unfazed, and you're at a loss. The script you've planned says: end scene, but the camera is still rolling. You have to ad lib.

“That’s okay. We don’t have to do that. I’m more than satisfied just getting to kiss you. Hell, I’d be happy just to have you sit on the couch with me, not touching or anything.”

You should feel more comfortable - and in a way, it does - but the novelty of the situation still leaves you dumbfounded.

You can see the worry in his eyes gain prominence as you remain silent.

"Hey," he says quietly. "Are you okay? I promise we don't have to do anything like that. We can just hang out, watch a movie or somethin', no touching at all."

"But I want you, Joel. That's the problem. I really want you."

"I want you too, but only when you're ready."

“I am ready, just nervous since this is new to me.”

“Is this your first time doing anything… of that nature?”

"No, I’ve done some things, I just haven’t gone all the way yet."

Handjobs, blowjobs, the whole nine yards - well, really, the first three bases in the sports/sex analogy.

“Would you like to tell me about those things?”

The look in his eyes – sweet and suggestive all at once gives you a spark of confidence. 

"I could tell you, but I’d rather show you," you say with a flirtatious smile. 

"Only if you let me return the favor."

It takes a lot of willpower to keep yourself composed when you're face-to-dick with Joel. You feel a rush of something — lust, nerves, both? All you can think is: there's no way that is ever going to fit inside me.

It doesn't fit down your throat, not even close, but Joel's 50, not 20, so he knows that unlike in pornography, most women cannot deepthroat. He doesn't expect you to even attempt such a feat. Just looking into your eyes while you're on your knees for him is enough to get him there.

Post-orgasm, he's internally beating himself up for not using his good southern manners and pleasing his woman first. The best he can do is double his typical dedication when he goes down on you.

He doesn't need to try that hard. In what feels like mere seconds, Joel's fingers work you open, pulling an orgasm from you when he dips his head between your legs and flicks his tongue over your clit.

When he can tell you're close, he says, "I'm right here, baby. Let go for me." His lips return to your clit and with his reassurance you let yourself fall over the edge.

It's not until your fourth date that you actually make your first attempt to lose your virginity.

He makes you cum twice - once on his fingers, once on his tongue - before he even takes his cock out of his underwear.

You're tired by that time, ready to apologize and see yourself out, but then you look at him, naked and hard in front of you, and despite your exhausted body, your pussy drools (maybe your mouth too). It gives you a jolt of energy, a rush of blood down south.

Joel’s body is positioned perfectly above you, ready to give himself to you, but he waits, looks at you with admiration in his eyes but doesn’t touch you. When he does, it's his right hand on your cheek.

"Are you gonna… put it in?" you say, laughing a little – anything to break the tension.

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay first," he says with a warm smile.

"I'm more than okay," you assure him.

At your confirmation, his kisses move from your cheek to your jaw, they get rougher at your neck, your collarbone. He sucks on your tits until you whine in impatience.

You feel his breath as he huffs out a laugh into your neck between kisses. But you're more focused on the head of his cock prodding at your entrance. When Joel presses himself inside you — one inch first — you both take in a sharp breath. You're audibly wet, but there's still a stretch, a sting.

Joel sees your eyes squeezed shut and feels you tense up.

"You wanna stop?" he asks.

"No," you tell him. "Just… go slow."

He takes your hand, interlocks your fingers, before giving you another inch. For whatever reason, you hadn't expected him to be this sweet during sex, but you have no complaints.

Gradually, it starts to feel better, a lot better. You start to understand why people like this so much.

But then, you accidentally sabotage yourself when your gaze fixates on his cock going in and out of your pussy. A sense of shame falls over you when you realize he's only halfway inside you.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"It's not all the way in," you sigh.

"And that's okay, baby."

"I wanted to be able to take it all… I wanted to be good for you."

"Trust me, baby, it feels fuckin' amazing. You're squeezin' me so damn tight you're gonna make me embarrass myself."

"I can't help it."

"I know," he says, leaning down to whisper beside your ear, "and that's what makes it feel even better."

You whimper quietly - it's a flustered, needy, good noise, but still, Joel cups your cheek and holds infinite comfort within his touch as he shushes you, saying, "you're doing so good for me."

With slight shift of his hips, a change in angle, he hits that special spot inside you and you can feel the pleasure begin to build.

You moan — louder than you intended to — and it almost startles Joel, briefly takes him out of his trace. He doesn't know your sobs of pleasure well enough to be sure they're not ones of pain.

"You okay? You want me to pull out?"

"No, don't pull out. Do that again," you say, frantically grasping at him, horrified at the thought of him no longer being inside you.

"Do what again?" he says with a subtle smirk that lets you know that he knows exactly what. 

"This?” he asks as he hits the same spot again and you can't tell him 'yes' when your mouth is busy with far more obscene noises, so you nod.

"Right there?" he confirms again, as he steadily thrusts in and out of you, not pushing any deeper, only meeting that special spot over and over.

It's rhetorical, and your 'uh-huh' is more than sufficient as an answer.

Pride mixes with lust and he rattles off praises, knowing he'll get your tight, wet heat to clench around him with every single word.

"You're takin' me so well, baby. You look so pretty like this," he says.

You cry out his name like it's the only word you know, over and over again.

"You're gonna make me cum if you keep sayin' my name like that, baby."

And it's not calculated dirty talk, it's just the goddamn truth.

With begging eyes and a mouthful of moans, you nod and hope your wordless gesture will convey the meaning, which is: please.

Your legs wrap around his hips and there is nothing Joel can do to hold himself back from burying himself to the hilt. There's nothing he can do to stop himself from spilling his load inside you immediately.

You swear you can feel him in your stomach, and you can see a bulge in your abdomen, and it would be fascinating if you weren't focused on clutching the sheets for dear life in an effort to save Joel from the wrath of your acrylics as you shudder through your orgasm.

You nearly lose yourself in the bliss of your high, all you know is Joel and the way he feels inside you.

When you come to, you turn to Joel and he says, "I'm proud of you," a phrase that never fails to make you melt.

You want to say "thanks" or "I love you" or any normal response one might give to that statement, but your words are already halfway out of your mouth.

"I swear you're gonna kill me with that thing," you say, gesturing to his cock, which looks not nearly as threatening when it's soft.

When he lies down beside you and wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer, you think to yourself, "maybe I am dead, and this is heaven."

You don’t realize you’ve said it aloud until Joel says, "I'm pretty sure we're still in Texas, baby.”

"Same thing.”