#(get yourself a weekend job where you're the only person in the building it leads to the worst work habits imaginable) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wlwmarvelenthusiast · 4 years ago

Text

More Than A Friend

Summary: A weekend trip with Carol leads you to realize you might like her a little more than you'd thought.

Pairing: Carol Danvers x Reader

Warnings: language

Word Count: 6,194

You crept into the bar. It was a rowdy place, even this early in the evening. Your eyes scanned the crowd, taking in all the different people that were scattered throughout the room. The football game was playing on the TV, but unfortunately, it wasn't really your sport. Finally, your eyes landed on a blonde sitting at the bar. You moved toward her, a smirk on your face. You didn't even bother to slide into the seat next to her.

Your hand touched her hip and your lips were right next to her ear when you spoke. "What's a beautiful thing like you doing all alone here?"

She startled a little, whipping to face you. When she saw you, though, she smacked you away, an unamused expression taking over the surprised look she'd had a minute ago. You slid onto the stool next to her, eyes watching as the bartender held up a single finger to indicate he'd be over to you in a moment. You only nodded in acknowledgment before turning back to the girl beside you, the smirk still on your lips.

"You're an idiot, you know that?" She rolled her eyes.

"Come off it, Care-bear, you love me."

"Christ, I hate when you call me that."

"I apologize, oh Captain, my captain."

The bartender arrived and prevented her from retaliating. You didn't even bother looking back at her as you ordered your drink of choice, glancing up at the football game that you didn't care about in order to not look at Carol. She finally snorted and bumped her shoulder against yours. It made you look back at her, unable to keep a smile from forming on your face when she gave you a hearty wink. She laughed.

"How was work?"

You shrugged. "People are idiots."

When you were sixteen, you'd worked a retail job where you'd learned just how stupid people really were. You'd learned that fully-grown adults had nothing better in their lives to do than yell at teenaged, minimum wage workers during their spare time for nothing more than a minor inconvenience. When you'd become an Avenger, you thought that would stop. You were incorrect. You might not have been a teenaged retail worker anymore, but people found a reason to lose their temper anyway- even right after you'd saved their life.

"That good, huh?" She chuckled.

"Are people nicer on other planets, Care-bear? Take me with you?"

"They're not, no," Carol huffed, sipping from her glass. "And the drinks don't taste as good."

You wondered what she was drinking that she seemed to be enjoying so much. It was colourful, and had, at this point, piqued your interest. You reached out and snatched from where it sat in front of her on the bar. You sniffed it first. It was something fruity, that was all you could figure. Finally, you dared raise the glass to your lips. The second the liquid touched your tongue you felt like you might overdose on sugar and sweetness.

"Oh, my God, Carol!" You exclaimed, setting the drink back down on the bar top and sliding it to her. "What the hell is that?"

"She got it extra sweet," the bartender said as he walked by. "Your friend's got a sugar addiction."

It didn't seem to bother her at all. While you felt you could puke from the sugar content alone, she was sipping it happily. You rolled your eyes at her, reaching for your own drink, much preferring the taste of it. Carol turned to you suddenly, the straw still between her lips. You watched as she lowered it back down, using the same straw to stir the drink around, the ice clinking off the side of the glass as she did. She sipped it again.

"What's our weekend plans, then?" Carol asked finally.

"Who says I have plans with you?"

"Oh, please. You practically begged me to come stay on Earth for a weekend."

"I did absolutely no such thing."

You absolutely did do that. Carol was away from Earth more often than not and you missed her. It wasn't like it was a crime to. So, you'd phoned her up and asked her over and over to come spend just one weekend on Earth with you. She'd finally agreed on the eighth ask, and now here you sat; on the right of the girl you'd missed so dearly, teasing her relentlessly about whatever that abomination was swirling around in her glass.

"We're taking my new car on a little road trip," you finally gave, sipping your drink. "Music, fast-food, and deep talks on the interstate."

"Snacks?"

"Snacks too," you promised with a chuckle. "And we can get a nice motel room or pitch a tent at night. Whichever you please."

You had to laugh at the smile that had crept over her face. The way she giggled in excitement, you had to wonder if it'd just been too long since her last day off or if the alcohol had gotten to her already. She waved the bartender lever as she finished hers. He placed a new one in front of her, and she thanked him quickly, bringing it close and immediately bringing the straw between her lips. You wondered whether the sugar or alcohol content would hospitalize her quicker.

"So, when do we leave?" She chirped.

"In the morning. Don't drink too much. You'll get hungover and I want to actually have fun."

She stuck her tongue out at you. You rolled your eyes in response, finishing your own drink and then declining another. You didn't want to be hungover when you were the one driving the two of you around. The bartender brought you a pop instead. You sipped on it, watching a bar-goer stumbled over with a drunk grin on his face and tapped Carol on the shoulder. He said something you didn't quite hear, but you saw Carol nod. He took her hands and dragged her onto the dance floor. You brought her drink toward you.

Carol was a flirt. She always had been. She was a flirt with you, your teammates, and strangers. She was also gay. This dance with this guy didn't mean much to her. You weren't sure if it even meant much to him. You couldn't be sure that he'd even remember this dance. He was absolutely wasted, and it wasn't even midnight. Regardless, he seemed to be enjoying it. His eyes travelled up and down Carol's body and you squeezed the glass in your hand a little tighter. You were protective of her, despite knowing she could absolutely hold her own.

When the song finished, she winked at him, retreating back to your spot at the bar. She finished up her drink and then insisted the two of you head back to your place and that you were right: she didn't want to be nursing a hangover while you were supposed to be having a good time. You paid the bartender and then linked your arm with hers, leading her out the door and onto the streets. She glanced up at the tall buildings around her. A smile had formed on her face.

"You don't appreciate how beautiful this place is."

You glanced up at the glowing buildings that towered above you and marvelled, for a moment, at the soft light that radiated off them. Your gaze was tugged downward, though, at a rustling noise. You were snapped back into the reality of your city as you watched a rat scurry along the curb of the sidewalk in the direction opposite you. You chuckled at that, motioning to it as you looked up to catch Carol's bright gaze.

"Surely some of those planets are far more beautiful than this."

She shrugged. "Some, maybe. Some are worse. Some are kind of alike to this. This has always been my favourite, though."

You might have understood that if Carol had taken the time to visit the actual beautiful parts of the Earth. But she was always in the city. She'd never gone to stare in amazement at a waterfall or glance at towering mountains. She had never seen the true beauties of this Earth, and you promised in that moment to change that fact. If she thought New York City was beautiful, she would be blown off her feet by the things you showed her.

"One day, Carol, I'll show you the actual beautiful things on this Earth."

"You're pretty beautiful yourself."

You smacked her. That was her flirty side coming out once again. It didn't mean anything. It never had. So, you wondered what that strange flutter in your chest was when she said the words. You ignored it, passing it off as a longing for a meaningful relationship. You hadn't had one of those in a while now. You probably just wanted someone to say those words to you and mean it. You made a mental note to sign up for an online dating site after the weekend had passed. It was too hard to meet people in your line of work without them.

"Yeah, I know," was all you gave in response.

When you glanced over at her, she had a grin on her face.

It wasn't long until you'd reached your apartment building. You smiled at the front desk as you entered the lobby and immediately made for the elevator. You pressed the button to the seventh floor and waited patiently for the doors. You knew Carol was suppressing a squeal of glee when they arrived. She usually just flew everywhere. Using simple inventions like this one had always gotten her more excited than the average person. To anyone else, an elevator was just a boring elevator.

"Can I do it?" She asked as you pulled out your key.

Carol really was just like a child, in a sense. Everything was so advanced out in space that these were the things she enjoyed doing. You pointed out the bronze key and watched her run ahead. She practically skipped the distance to your apartment door. She pushed the key into the lock and turned it, glancing back at you and smiling widely when the door pushed open. You smiled affectionately as you took the key back from her.

She may not have visited Earth overly often, but every time she did, she visited your apartment. Resultantly, she knew her way around. She knew, as well, that you didn't mind in the slightest if she made herself at home. She slid her shoes off and jumped onto the couch, pulling the blanket down over top of her and snuggling into it. You actually took a photo of the sight before you moved into the room behind her, lifting her legs, sitting on the couch, and then dropping them back over your lap.

"Can we watch a movie?" Carol asked, pleading gaze turning to you.

You showed her the remote you'd been reaching for. "Already on it, Captain Danvers."

"I take it back," she giggled, tossing her head back so that it hit the armrest. "That's worse. You can call me-"

"Aw, my Care-Bear!" You laughed, shifting your position so you could throw your arms around her shoulders.

Carol grunted at the impact against her torso. Once you settled, though, she breathed a little easier. You were both squished against one side of the couch, now, but the closeness was nothing new to you. You still had the remote in hand, and aimed it at the TV, managing to get it to Netflix. You flicked on a random horror movie, setting the remote back down on the coffee table in front of you. You nestled back into the cushions.

It had always amused you how jumpy Carol got when she watched horror movies. She was a literal superhero that fought literal aliens all the night and day and yet a ghost jumping out of a darkened corridor had her cringing away from the TV screen and pulling the blanket further up her body as if in an attempt to protect her. She would always adamantly deny it if you ever brought it up later. You would never show her the picture you had of her, fuzzy blue blanket pulled all the way up to her nose, eyes wide, as she watched The Conjuring. She would delete it off your phone as you slept.

Today, though, her nerves seemed to be calmed somewhat by the cup of tea she had clasped between her hands. She looked entirely content, sitting cross-legged on the couch with that same fuzzy blanket draped over her lap and a grey, ceramic mug warming her palms. The alcohol had clearly gotten to her a little, you realized, as you watched her eyelids droop every once in a while. The corner of your mouth tilted upward ever so slightly. She was wide awake a moment later.

It was a sudden jump scare. Even being half asleep, Carol was still paying attention. So, when the TV boomed and there was a flash and a scream, she jumped. The tea that she'd been holding in her lap sloshed over the edges, a large amount of liquid soaking into the couch cushions. You were out of your seat in an instant, reaching for the remote to pause. Carol was apologizing profusely, jumping to her feet and following you to the kitchen.

"It's okay, Carol. It's fine," you chuckled, wetting a dish towel and grabbing some paper towels. "Hey, it's fine. Really. Chill out."

Carol seemed hesitant to do that. When you lightheartedly flicked the wet towel at her, though, she finally smiled taking the paper towel out of your hand and heading back to the living room, pressing the paper towel into the couch and absorbing as much of the liquid as she could. When she'd finished, you used the wet rag to clean the beverage out. As you tossed the paper towel away and threw the dishrag into the kitchen sink, you stood back and took a look at the large wet spot on the couch.

"Guess we're moving to my room, then. Let's go, Care-Bear."

Carol nodded. She trod behind you into the bedroom, where you flopped onto the bed. She was lagging behind and you waved her onward to hurry her up. She finally jumped onto the bed and sat next to you, sliding her legs underneath the covers. You turned on the small TV in your room and resumed the movie you'd been watching. In the soft comfort of the bed, though, it seemed the tug for sleep was greater. Carol's eyes finally fluttered shut and she lay down against the pillows. You chuckled, turning off the movie.

You, unlike your friend, hadn't fallen asleep involuntary. You were able to head to the bathroom and brush your teeth before yawning tiredly and deciding to join. You padded back into the room, climbed under the covers, shut off the lights, and lay your head onto your own pillow. You smiled once at Carol's sleeping figure before you shut your eyes, letting sleep take you.

As hard as you tried to convince her, you weren't able to get Carol to stick her head back inside the sunroof. You weren't sure how to breeze was so exhilarating to her. The superhuman could fly faster than your car was going right now. The wind in her hair had to be a familiar feeling at this point. Plus, there were no laws against flying above the interstate to feel the wind in your hair. There were, however, laws about standing with your entire torso stuck out the roof of the car.

You'd given up a while ago. If she fell out, she'd be just fine. If she got you a ticket? Oh, there would be serious hell to pay. She'd agreed to that already. You'd honestly be surprised, though, if she did get ticketed. It'd be quite a sight to see: a measly police officer ticketing the Human-Kree Hybrid superhero. That sight alone might actually be worth the fine you would have to pay. By the time she'd pulled her head back in, though, blonde hair windblown and a smile plastered to her face, you'd yet to see a single cop.

"Have fun?" You asked, doing up the sunroof.

"Absolutely. You should try."

"Do you know how to drive?" You scoffed.

"I can fly a ship."

"Yeah, I'm sure UFO controls are much different than cars so I'm gonna have to politely ask you to stay the hell away from my car."

Carol only stuck her tongue out at you. She still didn't do her seatbelt up yet. She twisted her body so that she could reach into the back seat. You turned back to the road, but when you shot a second glance at her a few seconds later, she was popping open a can of Pringles with a large grin on her face. She bit down onto a chip with a giggle before turning the can to you. You reached into it with one hand and took a small handful of them, setting them down on the centre console for easier access.

"Where are we staying tonight?" Carol asked through a mouthful of chips.

"A campground up in a small town in Ontario," you hummed. "It's still a good few hours away. I'd ask if you wanted to stop for food, but I'd guess you've filled up on snacks."

She dug through her backpack. "Do I need this?"

She held up the passport you'd made her get last time the two of you had headed up to Toronto. Despite the fact that she really wasn't a citizen of the United States... or even of Earth, you'd managed to get S.H.I.E.L.D. to make you an exception for Carol. It was the perks of being an Avenger, and a close friend of Nick Fury, you supposed. To answer her question, you simply nodded your head as you reached for the Gatorade in your cup holder. She stuck the papers back into her bag.

"So, are you seeing anyone?"

The question almost made you spit the red beverage onto the steering wheel. It wasn't that you and Carol had never talked about it. She was one of your closest friends, after all. She was the first one you'd called when you'd realized your feelings for your last girlfriend, and she was the first one you'd called when you'd broken up. Carol wasn't someone you didn't talk about your love life with. It was just that it was completely and entirely out of the blue. It didn't help that the answer was still no, even after the long period of time since she'd last asked it.

You'd tried to assure yourself that you were just busy with work. It wasn't a lie. You'd been busy as hell ever since Loki's sceptre had inexplicably gone missing after the Battle in New York. But it wasn't just that, you knew full well. Something seemed to be wrong with your brain, or maybe your heart. Maybe it was just that your standards were practically in the clouds, but no one seemed attractive to you anymore. Not even the girl Natasha had tried to set you up with (and you were well convinced that Natasha only knew attractive people).

"Not at the moment, no," you finally admitted. "You?"

"On-and-off," she shrugged. "Just a girl from a planet called Xandar."

A pang of jealousy struck your chest. You were carving something- anything. You would've given anything even for something on-and-off just about now. Had it really been that long? You could hardly believe you were jealous of her. It wasn't like you to be jealous of something someone else had. You were supposed to be happy for her, not sulking over your own lack of a love life... or sex life. You forced a smile at her, wishing it could be real.

"Oh, yeah? Tell me about her."

"Not too much to tell," Carol said, biting down on a potato chip. "She's cute, funny, sweet. A little younger than me, but most people are," she chuckled as she glanced over at you. You plastered a phone smile back onto your lips and forced a laugh from your chest. "Her name's Alya."

You almost grumbled, but managed to bite your tongue on time. You resorted to ripping open a packet of gummy bears in order to keep your mouth full and therefore unable to make any snarky comments. Carol didn't seem to notice that, only reaching over and grabbing a green bear out of the bag. Though you might have been a little frustrated, you let her. It wasn't her fault that you were touch-starved and desperate.

"You know, we could spend this trip trying to find you a girlfriend," Carol grinned, tossing a candy into the air and catching it in her mouth.

"No," you denied immediately. You didn't need for her to see how weird your head was being right now. You were certain there was no one she could find that would be able to snap you out of this strange state of no one being attractive to you, yet craving someone. "I'm not looking for a girlfriend in Ontario."

"What's wrong with girls from Ontario?" Carol teased.

She'd been to Ontario once before. She'd pointed out that, though they may have dressed a little different and talked a little different, the girls from Ontario were just as attractive as the girls from New York. You'd had to point out that, at the time, she'd had a girlfriend. With Carol's ogling at girls on Earth, clearly, she and the girlfriend hadn't been working out well. They'd broken up two weeks later, leaving them both a little hurt, but not beyond repair. Even still, they saw each other for lunch or for a drink, but just as friends. It was admirable; the respect they had retained for one another.

"Nothing is wrong with girls from Ontario," you huffed. "I'm just not in the mood. This is supposed to be our weekend."

"What if I want to spend our weekend finding you a girl?"

"I don't. Drop it," you finally snapped.

Immediately guilt rushed to settle in the pit of your stomach. You readjusted your grip on the steering wheel as your gaze refused to leave the road in front of you. You didn't want to glance over at the frown that had surely taken the place of that infectious smile you loved so dearly. You definitely didn't want to look at it knowing that you were the cause of it. Carol was so incredibly joyful all the time and that was one of the things you loved about her. To be the one who had taken that joy from her, even momentarily, broke your heart.

"I'm sorry," you muttered.

She didn't answer that.

You attempted to swallow the lump in your throat as you tried to focus on driving instead of picturing the frown that was probably tugging at each of Carol's features. You wished you could actually physically kick yourself for what you'd done. She didn't deserve you snapping at her like that. She hadn't done anything wrong. You were just being pissy for reasons you weren't sure even you quite understood. You finally turned to her, but she was looking out the window.

"Look, Carol-"

"Hey, don't worry. Sorry I pushed."

You didn't deserve Carol Susan Jane Danvers one single bit. She deserved more than the world and you swore right then you'd work every moment to give that to her. Despite how you'd treated her for reasons she couldn't possibly have understood, when she turned to you, she was still smiling. As always, her smile put a smile on your face too. You turned away from those soft brown eyes to glance back at the road in front of you.

"It's okay. I'm sorry I snapped. I just... it's a long story, Care-Bear."

"We've got a long ride ahead of us," she tried.

"I don't know that I'm feeling like talking about it right this second," you admitted.

She seemed to accept that. You felt her touch your arm with her hand. Warmth seemed to rush from her touch, up your arms, and into your chest. How one person could instill such comfort into you amazed you. She said a few soft words to you that you didn't quite hear, but you felt you might not need to. You knew they were words of comfort. Just that knowledge was enough to put a smile onto your face. Your eyes flickered from her to the road.

"No problem," Carol chimed. Then, without missing a single beat, she changed the subject. "Hey, which bag did you put the Fuzzy Peaches in?"

"The green backpack."

Just like that, it was easy again. Carol didn't let you linger on just how upset you were for more than a second. She practically dived into the back seat for the backpack, reappearing with the orange package in her hand. She plopped back down into her seat, still refused to put her seatbelt on, and ripped the package open. She reached out and turned up the music when one of your favourite songs came on. You wondered if she knew that.

"No! That piece goes over here!" You insisted.

Carol frowned and handed you the long pole.

Pitching a tent with an alien who hadn't even known was a tent was, up until five minutes ago, was not easy. She'd practically rolled herself up like a burrito in the rain fly right after nearly putting the stakes directly through the floor to pin the tent down. You'd been guiding her, preventing any damage from coming to it. She was listening intently, making sure she did everything exactly how you said. She stuck the peg through the guy line and looked at you.

"Like that?"

"Yeah. Perfect. I think we're just about done, Care-Bear."

At that, she unzipped the door, diving through it into the empty tent. You reached into the trunk of your car, throwing the many pillows, blankets, and sleeping bags through behind her, not caring much where they landed. When you finally shut the door and ducked into the tent, Carol was beneath the large pile, peering out from where only the top half of her face was visible. You had to chuckle, grabbing one of the blankets and pulling it over her face.

Carol insisted she set up. She had you sit aside by the door, munching happily on a small bowl of popcorn as you watched. She carefully unzipped the sleeping bags and lay them down on the floor, putting the pillows atop them, and then the two comforters stacked on top of each other on top of that. When she finally finished, she gestured proudly to her completed setup. You raised an eyebrow.

"We both sleeping there?"

She nodded. "It's cold."

You had to give her that. You were practically shivering just from waiting for her to finish. The sun had dipped beyond the horizon at this point, the darkness of night did nothing to heat up the air around you. You clambered under the blankets, careful not to drop any of the popcorn you still held. You placed it next to you, letting Carol reach over and grab some as she, too, climbed into the makeshift bed. She popped a piece into her mouth.

"Up to talking about it yet?"

It was a genuine question. Carol wasn't pushy. That was something you could tell by her tone. She had waited patiently and was continuing to wait for you to be ready to talk about what you needed to talk about. She didn't want you bottling it up, but she didn't want to pressure you. She was able to do that. You glanced down at the red blanket that covered your legs, pondering her question for a moment. Then you nodded your head yes.

"I just haven't felt myself recently," you shrugged. "I would like to get out there and find someone, no doubt. Recently, though, it's like my standards are unmeetable. No one seems even remotely appealing to me."

"No one at all?"

"Nat tried to set me up with her Russian model friend," you said, turning to Carol with a grin finally on your lips.

"Nothing?" Carol said, an exaggerated amount of shock on her face. "You must be broken."

You shoved her. She chuckled; the offensive action having done nothing. She was inhumanly strong. If you'd decided to punch her, you likely would've broken your hand against her. She shoved you back, only lightly, so you moved a few inches away from her. She stuck her hand back into the popcorn bowl as you shuffled back into your place beside her. She was chewing thoughtfully, and you didn't dare interrupt her with the very focused expression on her face.

"Do you already like someone? That usually takes away the appeal of anyone else."

You stopped to think about that. You knew that could be the case. In eleventh grade when you'd had a crush on Adelaide Artenbaker, you'd suddenly failed to find anyone else attractive at all. Of course, Adelaide had eventually rejected you on account that she was straight as an arrow. It wasn't malicious. She'd actually given you a kiss on the cheek and assured you that, if she discovered wasn't, she'd let you know. It had made you laugh.

Now, you had to wonder if there was anyone that was making your stomach flip and making you dismiss anyone else. It wasn't the Avengers. You'd been in the changing room with Natasha, the Black fucking Widow, two days ago, and she'd strutted up to you in nothing but her bra and underwear. You hadn't even bat an eyelash as she'd asked you if you wanted to get some Chinese food after the mission (but you had said yes, of course).

"Yeah. Maybe."

Her words had knocked some serious sense into you. You definitely had a crush on someone, and it had definitely been impairing your ability to get out on a date. That someone was around so little, though, that you hadn't realized right away just how you felt for them. Maybe if she visited Earth a little more often, you'd have realized why you blushed so deeply when she'd crawled into bed with you last night or right now.

"Who is it, then?"

Carol had a girlfriend. It may have been on-again-off-again, but she had a girlfriend. You were not now, nor ever, someone who would come between that. You were going to let her be happy with someone who was making her happy and you were going to be happy for her. You plastered a smile onto your face and reached into the bowl of popcorn that sat on your lap, letting the snack cloud the feelings of jealousy that you knew now weren't jealousy of a relationship, but if Carol.

"Nat."

Carol didn't miss a single beat. "Liar."

You glared at her. "The fuck do you mean? Telling me who I do and do not like?"

"I know who has your heart right now. It isn't Nat."

This time when she reached for the popcorn, she leaned over. To support her weight, her hand came to rest on your upper thigh. You had to refrain from reacting. You sucked the inside of your cheek between your teeth, biting hard on it to suppress any sort of reaction that Carol would have noticed. It seemed to have worked. She grabbed a small handful and then backed away, the pressure of her hand disappearing from your limb.

"Yeah? Who is it, then?"

"Someone that likes you back."

"And who says Nat doesn't?"

You might have actually been offended if it weren't Carol you were talking to. You were good enough for Natasha, right? She was practically a goddess in respect to her looks, but you were something, too. Not that you liked Natasha in that way. She was a friend. Carol was the one that you cared about. Something about that sweet smile and that confidence mixed with an innocence she had after being away from Earth for so long warmed your heart every time.

"Fair," Carol admitted. "But you know, you're pretty oblivious. With all the hints I've been dropping, you'd think you'd have realized your feelings are reciprocated."

"What?"

"I like you, dumbass. More than a friend likes a friend."

Your jaw might have dropped. You coughed, choking on the popcorn that you'd been eating as you whirled to face the blonde. She had a twinkle in her eyes, and a giggle escaped her lips when she saw the expression on your face. She tossed a piece of popcorn into the air, catching it in her mouth. She chewed on it as she waited, arms crossed, for you to collect yourself. Finally, after a long drink of water, you calmed.

"Pardon?"

"You're an idiot," she mumbled.

Then she grabbed the front of your shirt and pulled you closer. You didn't fail to notice, as your lips moved against hers, that she moved the popcorn bowl so that it wouldn't spill. It seemed completely unimportant, though. You felt everything starting to melt away into Carol Danvers. Her lips were talented and kissing her felt like an intricate sport and suddenly you needed to breathe. When you pushed away, you realized what you'd done wrong.

Her feelings to you didn't matter. She had a girlfriend. Unless that fact changed, she and you didn't get to be more than your friend. You pushed her even further away. You knew she had the ability to, but she didn't resist. You backed off a little further so that your bodies were completely separated. Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion, but she didn't push. She even waited for you to speak first. Your eyes wouldn't meet hers.

"You have a girlfriend."

"I just said that to make you jealous," she scoffed.

You immediately got defensive. "I was not jealous."

"You were so!"

"Shut up."

She did. You suspected the only reason she had shut up was because she was kissing you again. It didn't matter. You were on cloud nine. You felt right again. You felt more right now than you ever had. Carol was exactly what you had needed for longer than you could figure out right then. She was clouding your thoughts and, honestly, you couldn't have cared less. You didn't want to think about anything besides how good her lips felt on yours right then.

You couldn't even find it in yourself to be mad at her for the little stunt she had pulled. You could only be glad that this so-called girlfriend wasn't actually real, and was just a part of her stupid plan. Without the girlfriend, you were free to kiss her as much as she would let you. Judging by how she was kissing you now, she wasn't going to stop you anytime soon. Her teeth grazed your bottom lip as she pulled away, not moving more than an inch from your lips, though.

The hand that clasped your shirt uncurled. She pressed her hand flat against the centre of your chest, pushing you onto your back. You had to chuckle as her knees pressed into the ground on either side of your waist. She kissed your nose once, scowling at the laughs that were beginning to bubble from your chest. You leaned up and kissed her lips for a brief moment, before using a hand to caress her cheek and tuck her hair behind her ear.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing. You were right," you stated. "I'm kinda glad you were right."

"You're kind of glad? Can you imagine how stupid I'd have looked if I were wrong?" Carol laughed.

"Quite," you agreed with a nod.

You pulled her down next to you, wrapping your arms around her and feeling hers do the same to you. You pressed your forehead against hers, taking the time to admire her smiling face. She giggled a little, pecking your lips quickly. She didn't linger, though, having been preoccupied in reaching over your shoulder into the bowl of popcorn once more. She shoved a few pieces into her mouth and chewed happily.

"Care-Bear, what's more important: me or snacks?"

"You are a snack."

You gaped. "How the hell did you learn that term?"

She shrugged. "I hear things."

You rolled your eyes, pushing her away from you. She let you, reaching for her water bottle to wash down some of the salty flavour that had come off the popcorn. She offered you some water, which you accepted. When you finished and handed the bottle back to her, she pulled you close to her. Your body moved until it was flush against hers. Her torso was so warm you could've fallen asleep right then and there.

"You're more important."

Being more important than snacks, in the opinion of Carol Danvers, was just about the highest compliment you could have received.

#carol danvers #captain marvel #carol danvers fanfiction #carol danvers x reader #mcu #marvel #wlw #lesbian

307 notes · View notes

strayen-fx · 4 years ago

Text

Doubtless

》 Lee Minho x Reader

》 Angst, Fluffy end

》 Pangs of jealousy could still hit an established relationship, or where Minho is a choreographer and Y/N can't help but feel jealous because of a certain idol Minho is teaching.

》 Wordcount: 2.5k

》 Warnings: mention of overwork, insecurity

》 a/n: I'm back, hi! hihi

°°°

Being in a relationship with Minho hasn't been the easiest thing, but for you, it has been the bestest decision you have ever made.

You were college sweethearts, both of you meeting at an audition for the school's official dance group. After graduating, Minho decided to join a famous dance studio as one of its choreographers while you chose to focus on your professional field.

Adulting didn't come easy, as the two of you were bombarded with busy schedules for almost every week on end. It hasn't been the easiest thing, but after some time, the both of you have learned to adjust and manage your time. You have also decided to move in together, because 1.) you wanted to spend as much of your free time with each other as possible, and 2.) let's be honest, rent is expensive af.

Despite that, it was still difficult for you to spend quality time together because of Minho's hectic and jam-packed sched. Even in weekends, he would be busy coming up with dance moves for the kpop groups assigned to him. Hence, you usually make up to this by visiting him in the studio and bringing him your homecooked meals. You would bring a portion for you as well so you could eat with him. This is something that he adored so much, it eventually became a regular routine for weekends.

That Saturday was no exception. Wearing your favorite casual clothes plus Minho's purple hoodie, you drove to the dance studio with packed lunch for the both of you. You greeted the other dancers you met in the building, and there you met Momo, another buddy in your college dance group.

"Y/nnieeee!!!" Momo said, approaching you into a tight hug. "I've missed you!"

You returned the hug and giggled. "We only met like last week though?"

"That is forever ago. You should just work with us here so I could always hang out with you," Momo complained.

"Once I get fired in my current job, I'll be sure to send you my resume."

"Should I use my connections to get you fired, then?"

You talked with Momo for a while, until she remembered that she left her students unsupervised and she was only supposed to get some water.

"Minho is in Studio E," Momo said. "He's assigned to teach a rookie girl group, my forte, while I'm assigned to a dorky and loud boy group. Where's justice in that?" She sighed deeply. "Anyway. I'll get going. Let's grab coffee some time!"

You waved and watched as Momo begrudgingly trudged towards Studio A. You laughed a bit to yourself before heading to the opposite direction.

When you peered through the door of Studio E, you noticed at least six ladies sitting on the floor, talking and fanning themselves. You knocked twice before opening the door. Few of the girls looked up and bowed awkwardly. They probably thought you were just a staff bringing Minho some food.

The man in question, however, failed to notice you. He was busy giving a one-on-one lesson to another girl, them being the only ones standing. It probably shouldn't have irked you so much, seeing that Minho is a choreographer and it is, indeed, his job to teach idols their choreography. However, being a dancer yourself and watching them there for a solid minute, you know that the girl was just goofing around and pretending not to understand the moves. She even laughed and slapped Minho's chest jokingly as if they were close friends. You couldn't see your boyfriend's reaction from where you stood, but what you witnessed was enough to dampen your mood.

You fake-coughed, causing Minho to finally notice you. His eyes lit up, and that was almost enough to rebrighten your mood. Almost, for you could still see the girl he was teaching earlier, with her eyebrows shot up like she was annoyed for the interference.

Minho jogged to where you stood and you gave him a quick peck on the lips. This took him by surprise--you weren't usually the type of person to show skinship when there are strangers around. This made Minho smile, though, thinking that you just missed him too much.

"Lunch break, everyone," Minho told the girls. He then took your hand and led you out of the room towards the staff's pantry.

When you got there, Minho excitedly opened the lunch you prepared, asking you about your day as he did so. You tried to act normal--afterall, you have no reason to be jealous, right? Plus, this is Minho you're talking about. You've known each other for years, he's not gonna dump you for an idol he just met.

Right?

"Baby?"

Your head shot up, realizing that Minho was talking to you. "Yeah?"

He chuckled. "What's wrong? Stunned by my visuals yet again?"

You rolled your eyes, used to his teasing antics. "Just tired, I guess. Eat your meal before it gets cold."

His gaze softened. He reached for your hand, squeezing it a bit. "I told you, you could take some rest during weekends. You don't have to force yourself to drive all the way here to bring me lunch. You took overtime last night, I'm sure you've been busy in the office."

You smiled at him, reaching out to squish his cheeks. "And I told you, bringing you lunch would never be tiring for me if it means that I could spend time with this lovely face."

Minho grinned. "I'm irresistible, I know."

You playfully pinched his cheek. "Just eat, you handsome creature."

You watch Minho as he ate, admiring how he looked food-deprived by the way he gobbled his meal. For the nth time in your long relationship, you wondered how you got so lucky to have someone like him. At the same time, you wondered how long you would be this lucky--wondered how long you would be able to watch him up close like this. You wondered: did you really deserve him? And what will happen if he realizes that, no, he doesn't want you after all?

"Uhh.. Min?"

"Ggnnmm?" he grumbled in a mouthful of food.

You stifled your laughter, finding the moment too cute to be destroyed by your depressing thoughts. "Have I ever told you that you look like a cat when you eat like that?"

°°°

It has been days since you visited Minho's studio. He was still teaching the girls you saw last weekend, due to the fact that "the choreo was too complicated" and a certain someone named Ahra was "finding certain parts difficult and needed to be trained personally by a professional choreographer." So of course, Minho can't say no. You visited once during the week, dropping off a change of clothes Minho forgot to bring, and you saw the girl again laughing and talking with Minho comfortably. Minho didn't seem annoyed. If anything, you felt like he was enjoying her company.

It was Friday when Minho came home and told you that he had to come with the girls to Gwangju where they would hold the music fest the following week.

"But why, though?" you asked Minho, genuinely confused. "You are a choreographer, not a manager."

"I know," Minho said. He looked tired, and part of you was feeling bad for questioning him like this. But you just can't help yourself--not after seeing that Ahra's body language towards your boyfriend. "But baby, their company pleaded for me to come with them to guide the group. They're rookies. They need as much help as they can."

A part of you understood. You wanted this relationship to be rational and matured. You promised to understand each other's line of work. So you just nodded, trying your best not to show your sadness... disappointment? Jealousy? All of the above?

°°°

Weekend came. You told Minho you were going to hangout with Momo for lunch. It was one reason, but the other main reason was that you didn't want to see Ahra flirting with your man right in front of you.

Momo chose a Japanese restaurant for your weekend hangout, saying she missed the dishes she had back home. Right after you've placed your order, your friend made a show of placing her elbows on the table with her chin on her fingers, looking straight into your eyes. "Now spill the tea."

You chuckled. "What?"

"While I know that you value our friendship more than most of everything else, I know that you won't ditch Minho for a simple lunch opportunity. Now spill."

"Uhh... maybe I'm making time with you because you're gonna be away for three days in Gwangju?"

"Oh, that music fest? I'm not coming with them though," she said, casually sipping water. "I have whipped my group into magnificent perfection, they don't need me to tag along. Plus, what would I do there? Chaperone their asses on the bus? Teach them the choreo while they're sightseeing? Please."

You sighed. Yeah, it doesn't make sense for an outsourced choreographer to tag along an idol group. They have their own trainors. And the trip was for three days to allow the idols some time for broadcasted sightseeing. They won't have time for heavy dance practices.

"But Minho is coming with the group assigned to him," you mentioned.

Momo almost choked on her mineral water. "What? Why? And why haven't I heard of this?"

Oh.

You shrugged. "Maybe my boyfriend is onto something--someone--else."

Momo's gaze softened. "Y/n..."

"I mean, the way that Ahra flirted with him? I wouldn't be surprised."

"C'mon y/nnie, do you really think Min would cheat on you? After, what, your five-year relationship?"

"When faced with a beautiful idol, why not?" Your eyes were starting to get watery. You weren't much of an emotional person, but right at that moment, you just wanted to bawl your eyes out. "I mean, Ahra is beautiful, right? You've seen her. Tall, flawless, gorgeous. And talented, too. I've searched about her group, and turns out she's the main vocal." You pointed at yourself. "And what do we have here?"

"YA! Don't you ever look down on yourself like that!" Momo said, slapping the table. "Have you forgotten that you're the main dancer of our dance group? That you were scouted by the leading agencies and you turned them all down? That if you decided not to focus on your academics, you would have been one of the leading dancers in the whole country? Y/N!"

"But--"

"I'M NOT YET DONE. And even without considering those, do you really think Minho is only looking at a person's outward appearance? Do you really think that, y/n?"

"No..." you whispered. "Momo, I understand now, please tone your voice down a little."

Momo discreetly looked around and noticed a few people staring. She sighed, composed herself, and spoke in a calmer voice, "Do you remember when Minho courted you? He was so shy, he can't even look you in the eyes without turning beet red. Literally the entire dance group had to help him express his feelings for you."

You smiled at the memory, remembering a slightly younger Minho flushing red while holding out a bunch of flowers.

"And even months prior to that. He was so dense, his hyungs in the group literally had to smack his head for him to realize that he likes you, even when the entire campus could already notice his heart-shaped eyes whenever he's with you." Momo sighed. "My point is, do you really think a guy like Minho could cheat on you?"

You reminisced about all those years you have been together. Minho is a sweet, understanding person. He sees beauty in everything around him. He sees beauty in you even when you yourself couldn't see it. He was there through the happy and ugly times, and he never once let go of your hand. He has been patient with you through everything. He is the best man you have ever met.

Momo sighed again for the umpteenth time that day. "The biggest flaw on him though is that he's way, waaaay too dense. Remember that one time before you got together, a girl was obviously making a move on him and he didn't even know until the girl walked out calling him a jerk."

You laughed at that. "He's flirty at times but he's too numb when he's on the receiving end."

The two of you laughed at that.

°°°

Later that day, Momo texted you. She checked in with the studio staff and apparently, Minho tagging along to the music fest was a special request by the higher ups of the girls' agencies, and it was a sort of rushed request. You thanked her for the information, mentally punching yourself for ever doubting Minho like that.

The following day was Minho's trip to Gwangju. You couldn't drive him to the station due to an urgent meeting, so you just gave him a hasty farewell kiss on the lips while he was preparing his breakfast. He just smiled up at you without saying a word. That small gesture made your heart clench, feeling guilty for doubting him and not spending time with him the day prior. You made a mental note to welcome him properly upon his return.

But for now, you have to survive those three incoming days alone in your apartment.

The whole day, you couldn't concentrate at work. You kept on worrying if Minho had arrived safely in his destination, if he had eaten enough, if he was warm and hydrated enough. When you asked him all these through text, he only replied with a short "don't worry too much 💝" You didn't know what to feel about it. He certainly felt that something was off, you thought. He was probably mad at me.

When you got home, a plastic of takeout on one hand and a heavy burden on your chest, you were prepared to be welcomed by the saddening darkness and silence of the night. But instead, what welcomed you was a candle-lit dining table filled with all your favorite food, complete with wine plus smooth music.

Minho stepped out from your shared room, a bouquet of roses in hand, smiling shyly while scratching his neck.

"This isn't really my thing..." he whispered.

Meanwhile you stood there, frozen in place, your jaw slack. "W-why... Min... but you're supposed to be...?"

Minho laughed. "I asked Felix to take my place. He gladly accepted." He walked closer to you, handing you the roses. "Did you really think I wouldn't notice if my one and only jealous baby has been acting weirdly?"

Your eyes widened. You dropped your gaze to the floor, embarrassed. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Minho stepped closer, caging you in a hug. "I'm the one who should be sorry for making you feel like that. I should never allow you to feel like you're lacking in any way. I should never give you a reason to doubt my love for you."

"But there was no reason. I was just reaching when I assumed you--"

"Sshh." Minho tightened the hug and kissed the top of your head. The two of you stayed like that for a while, swaying gently with the soft music.

"I love you, y/n. Longer than forever, I'm yours."

"I love you, too, Minho. I will love you longer than forever."

°°°

284 notes · View notes

wholesomemendes · 5 years ago

Note

I have an idea for a request. I was hoping you're still taking requests. I saw something where I thought you are but i'm not sure. If you ever heard a song called "Take your sweet time" By Jesse McCartney, i was hoping you could write a drabble thing based on that song.

Take Your Sweet Time

Summary: You’ve loved Shawn with all you’ve had for the past 2 years, but now you have to take a step away from him and learn to love yourself too.

Author’s Note: Hi this is my first request so thank you so much! I’m sorry it took so long but I hope you’re as happy with it as I am! This also turned out wayyyyy longer than I expected (over 4.6k words wow) but I’m really proud with how it turned out. As always please tell me what you think and my requests are always open!

You knew what you were getting into when you started dating Shawn. The long periods of time apart, hate messages from fans, and having to accept that millions of girls that you thought were much more beautiful than you were trying to steal him away from you was only the tip of the iceberg. But you loved Shawn through it all. Even the times when he was having a panic attack on the bathroom floor or you were dwindling in self doubt while he was halfway across the world, you loved him and stayed by his side every single day, giving everything you had to him. You were fully committed to your relationship, so much so that you failed to realize just how much of a strain it was putting on yourself. That was the thing about loving Shawn, it consumed every part of your senses until you didn’t know where Shawn ended and you began. It felt like your every movement had to revolve around him and if it didn’t, then you were failing the relationship.

It had been over 2 years since Shawn had made his way into your life, inadvertently flipping it completely upside down. Shawn was currently in LA for some promo work on his newest single, which you had expressed your proud feelings for on multiple occasions, and was set to return this weekend after being away two whole weeks. Although the two of you had gone longer apart, you could never help the feeling of being stabbed in the heart every time he left, no matter how many times you told yourself he was coming back to you soon. It took everything in you to not call him every chance you had, not wanting to annoy him or seem clingy, so you resorted to missing him in silence, your feelings building up inside of you like wires trying to strangle your heart. It hurt. Loving Shawn hurt. But day after day you loved him with all that you could give while those strings slowly pulled on your open heart.

___________________

After dating Shawn for so long, you thought you were prepared for everything his abnormal life could throw at you, but you never thought you would have to be prepared for him ignoring your existence. The night he came home was just like every other time, you had picked him up at the airport where he greeted you with a bone crushing hug and a gentle kiss to your forehead, knowing you didn’t like much PDA, and then he got into the shower, meeting you in bed for an endless night of cuddles. However it was the days that followed that were completely out of the ordinary for the two of you and threw you into a spiral of self doubt. You understood completely when he spent the first couple days meeting with his friends and family, you weren’t the only one missing him while he was gone, but typically the first couple days home were full of clingy Shawn, meaning he would invite you to go with him wherever he went. This time around he didn’t even invite you to dinner with his family, even though you later learned that Karen had specifically told Shawn you were invited, to which he had responded that you were working overtime at your job. You weren’t. You were sitting in your shared condo eating takeout from the Chinese place down the street instead of Karen’s famous lasagna. That definitely hit hard in your heart for Shawn always wanted you to feel comfortable around his family, constantly reminding you that his family was your family, so you couldn’t help but feel that he was trying to push you away. You knew you were probably overreacting, even if Shawn had taken a 180 degree personality change in the past couple days, causing those strings on your heart to tighten to the point of suffocation. It hurt even more when the moments he was home consisted of him locked away in his studio without even a mumbled good morning your way. You brought him coffee, tea, food, anything you could think of that he could possibly need, placing it down in front of him without a single peep so that you wouldn’t distract him, earning either the smallest of thank yous or most commonly, complete and utter silence. He came to bed at ungodly hours, no longer cuddling up to your body in the dark. You knew he always assumed you were asleep, but you physically couldn’t calm your mind without having him next, instead leading your thoughts down a spiral of depressive words. The worst part? You couldn’t remember the last time he had said I love you to you since he came home. Before, Shawn couldn’t go a few hours without reminding you of his love for you, but now you didn’t even know if the man you would die for in a heartbeat felt the same way.

You didn’t know why this was happening, hell you didn’t even know what could have happened in the 8 hour period when the two of you were asleep that first night back that could have caused this changed. But every night as you laid in bed waiting for the man you loved to enter the room, your mind always came to one conclusion on what the issue was at hand. You. You were the issue. You weren’t enough for him, you weren’t doing enough for him, you weren’t loving him enough. And after the 11th night, you realized that you were the issue, but not in the way you previously had thought. You were enough for him, you were doing more than enough for him, and you were loving him far more than you should be. You loved Shawn more than you loved yourself, and on that 11th night, you fell asleep before he came to bed, knowing that when you awoke alone the next day, things were going to change.

___________________

The morning sun woke you up from your slumber and you kept your eyes shut, not wanting to open them and face the reality of what today would bring. Begrudgingly you willed yourself to sit up, taking in the view from the bedroom window one last time and feeling the way the soft silk sheets felt on your body. What you didn’t want to remember was the coldness that could be felt on Shawn’s side of the bed, a telltale sign that he had left it without a second thought hours before. But in a strange way you did want to remember it, wanted it be a reminder as to why the decision you were making was the correct one when you would be inevitably regretting it once you stepped foot out of the condo. You began your morning routine as if it was a normal day, but instead of leaving your toothbrush next to Shawn’s, it was placed inside of your travel bag along with the rest of your toiletries. Clearing the bathroom of your belongings, you moved towards the rest of the bedroom, your heart clenching when you looked at the empty space in the closet. You forced yourself to leave behind all of the pictures and memories of him, knowing it would just cause you more pain in the long run, but your hands moved to grab your favorite shirt of his to wear to bed before your brain could resist it. His scent still lingered on the fabric and even though you knew it was a bad decision, you put it into your suitcase without a second glance.

It was past noon once you were finally satisfied with your packing and even though you had left almost all of your shared belongings to Shawn along with every picture and memory of your relationship, the condo still felt a little bare without your added presence along it walls. After taking all of your boxes and bags down to your car, your stomach rumbled from your lack of food, but you refused to stay in the condo for longer than needed, telling yourself that you would stop by Tim Horton’s on your way to your friend’s house where she was graciously letting you stay until you found somewhere else to live. If someone had told you last year when you sold your apartment in favor of living with Shawn that you would regret it, you would have laughed and called them crazy, but now you wanted nothing more than to have be at a place you could call your own. Though when you thought about it, you didn’t know if you would be able to live in a place that had held so many great memories of the two of you.

You rolled your last suitcase out of your shared bedroom that now only belonged to Shawn and you began the short trip down the hallway that felt like it held a century of memories. You replayed all of the events that happened in the place that used to feel like home, but now only felt like a shell of something that was hurting you from the inside out.

Passing by Shawn’s studio, you could hear the faint strumming of his guitar through the walls and your heart ached more than you ever thought it could. You never imagined you would be leaving the love of your life and knowing that this could possibly be the last time you would ever hear him made a tear slip out of your eye. Leaning against the door, you listened carefully to the unknown melody that was being played only feet away from you, coming to your senses once he stopped to do what you could only assume was writing something down. Knocking quietly on the door, you held your breath, afraid of what his reaction to you “interrupting” his writing process would be. “What!” he barked from the other side and your heart ached a little more, that tiny sliver of hope inside you that wanted him to beg you to stay diminished to nothing. Cautiously you opened the door and peered your head inside, seeing him still crouched over his guitar not even sparing a glance at you, “Um...Shawn?”

“What do you want?”

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m leaving,” you whispered, suddenly feeling extremely small in his presence.

“Ok, bye,” he told you shortly, still not lifting his gaze from his guitar.

Your breath hitched in your throat and you willed yourself to keep your tears at bay, not wanting him to see the effect he had on you, “I’m going to be gone a while.”

“Ok.”

At this point you were growing more frustrated than sad at how the man that supposedly loved you wasn’t even sparing a second glance at you, “I’m not coming back Shawn. I’m breaking up with you.”

His head snapped up at your words, the guitar suddenly losing his interest as his wide eyes met yours, “What do you mean you’re breaking up with me?”

“I’m leaving and I’m not coming back,” you told him, straightening your back to stand your ground and hide the way your emotions were breaking down on the inside.

“No, you’re not leaving,” he shook his head frantically, standing up from his seat and making his way towards you in frantic strides, “We’re gonna talk about this and fix whatever’s going on inside your head because you’re not leaving me.”

“Yes I am, Shawn, my mind is already made up.”

“No it’s not, you’re gonna talk to me and we’re gonna fix this.”

He was standing in front of you now, but his presence didn’t feel as comforting as it usually did, now a suffocating feeling surrounding you and making you want to back away. You could tell his breathing was becoming heavy and you wanted to sit him down to help calm him down, but you stood your ground. “I’ve given a lot of thought into this and I’m not changing my mind.”

“Baby,” he cooed, taking your face in his large palms and you allowed yourself to bathe in the feeling of him touching your skin one last time as tears prickled from the sides of his eyes, “Don’t do this, I love you, you know that. We said we were going to love each other forever. We promised.”

“I know, Shawn, I know, I love you more than words can explain, but that is why I have to let you go.”

“What? No, we love each other and we’re gonna stay together and...” his voice began to crack and tears began to falling profusely down his face, the hurt behind his eyes becoming too much for you to look into.

“Shawn...”

“No, no, no I’m bubs, or baby or...”

“Shawn, stop.” You grabbed his wrists in your hands, making him pause and focus on your words, “I’m not doing this because I don’t feel like we love each other enough. I mean, god knows I’m loving you with everything that I have. And I’ll be honest, lately I’ve been feeling like you don’t love me anymore. I can’t even remember the last time you’ve said I love you since you came home that first night, and it’s been almost two weeks since then. Yes, I know I deserve better than that but that can be fixed with time and I know that as well.”

“Exactly, baby, we can fix this and...”

“I’m talking now, Shawn and I want you to listen. I’ve been thinking a lot lately and what’s hurt me the most in these past two weeks isn’t how you’ve been treating me, it’s how I’ve been treating myself. I can’t keep living this life where I love you more than myself because it hurts and its degrading and I physically can’t keep going like this. And I know it sounds selfish, and it probably is, but I’ve been unselfishly giving you every inch of love I’ve had in myself for the past 2 years and it’s time that I take some of it for myself. This isn’t goodbye forever, I just need a break. I need to learn to love myself before I can love you fully again.”

Tears were streaming down both of your faces as Shawn pulled you into a bone crushing hug, rocking the two of you slowly with his face buried into your shoulder, “I love you, I love you so much. I don’t want to let you go.”

“If you love me you’ll let me go. I need time Shawn. I don’t want to believe this is the end of us, I just need a break.”

“Just a break,” he mumbled to himself and you pulled away gingerly, grabbing your suitcase from behind you. Shawn felt his heart break even more at the sight of your bag, realizing just how hard you had thought about this, “You already packed your things?”

“Yeah, everything’s in my car.”

“Where are you going?”

You sighed, “I think it’s best that I don’t tell you right now.”

He nodded his head sadly, looking down at the ground in front of him, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“And I want you to know that I will be here when you change your mind. When you want to come back to me I’ll be waiting. I don’t care how long, I’ll be here.”

“Thank you,” you breathed out, not trusting your voice from cracking if you spoke any louder. Shawn brought you back in for another hug, holding you tight to his body to keep you with him forever.

“Take your sweet, sweet time, baby. I’ll still be waiting for you with all of my love.” He felt you pulling away and reluctantly released his grasp on you, “Please tell me when you get to wherever you’re going though, I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

“Of course, Shawn,” and with that you placed one last kiss on his cheek, tasting his salty tears on your lips before you walked towards the door, shutting it and all of the memories behind you. Shawn’s heart collapsed inside of himself and after staring at the place where you left, he forced himself to go into your shared bedroom for any last remains of you. His breathing stopped when he saw all of your things gone, but all of the memories of the two of you remaining, realizing that you really wanted this behind you. He stumbled towards the picture of the two of you smiling at the Eiffel Tower that was placed on your nightstand, holding it close to his chest as he rocked himself through his tears on the edge of your side of the bed. When his eyes opened and focused on the item sitting behind the frame, he felt his heart break more than he ever felt possible. You had promised him when he gave it to you that you would never take it off but there it was, time standing still around it. Your promise ring.

___________________

Ring. Ring. The sound of your phone ringing startled you from where you were hands deep in meat, rolling meatballs for tonight’s dinner while your friend was still at work. You quickly washed your hands off, grabbing your phone without looking at the contact as you leaned back against the counter with the phone against your ear, “Hello?”

“Y/n! How are you?”

“Karen?” you gasped, standing up straight, “H-hi, um I’m good thank you, how are you?”

“I’m great, thank you! I think I can speak for all of us, though, when I say we’ve missed you at family dinners!”

“Oh, yeah um, I’ve missed you guys a lot too,” you told her, biting at your nail in nervousness, your heart rate picking up.

“But don’t stress, I’m not saying that to make you feel bad. Shawn’s told us about how busy you are at work, how’s that going by the way?”

Your heart dropped. Shawn’s told them you’ve just been busy at work? Do they know... “It’s going well, thank you. It’s been a bit crazy lately with all the changes, but it’s good.”

“That’s good to hear,” she replied cheerily, “Listen, I’ve called to tell you that we’re organizing a going away dinner-party thing for Shawn next week before he leaves for tour. I know how hard it is with him leaving, Manny, Aaliyah, and I have gotten so used to him around I know it’s gonna be hard. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now.”

“Ye-yeah, I almost forgot he was leaving next week.” You would have been lying if you said you hadn’t still been keeping up with him on social media, therefore hearing about the upcoming tour through his feed. You even still had his leaving date in your phone calendar, not having the heart to remove any of the special dates in there even though it had been over 2 months since you had walked out the door.

“I get it, I don’t want to be reminded about it either,” his mother sighed, oblivious to the panicked girl on the other side of the phone, “But we’ve decided that we’re going to have a bunch of his friends and family over for dinner as a surprise for him! I was wondering if you could just keep him home with you and tell him you’re taking him out for a dinner date or something and then maybe blindfold him to drive him to our place! If you have a better idea that’s good too, I just thought it’d be a cute idea!”

“Take him on a...on a date?” you stuttered, breathing becoming heavily as tears threatened to spill from your eyes, the memories you’ve been trying to hide fighting their way back into your brain.

“Yeah, you know, just something that won’t make him suspicious because the two of you obviously get dinner together all the time.”

“Um yeah...yeah, Karen I’m really sorry, but I have to go,” swallowing the pain held in your throat. If you didn’t end the phone call now, you knew you wouldn’t be able to hide your tears from her anymore.

“Of course, sweetie! I’m sorry if I caught you at a bad time. I’ll just text you the details ok?”

“That’s great, yeah.”

“Ok, bye Y/n.”

“Bye Karen,” ending the phone call you collapsed against the kitchen counter, tears streaming out of your eyes and chest heavy. You had cried almost every day since you had left, your best friend trying to comfort you the best she could. You wanted to stay strong as much as you possible, but leaving behind the one thing you loved more than yourself proved to leave a gaping hole in your heart that only Shawn could fill. This week had been the first week you hadn’t cried yourself to sleep every night, only for all of your progress to be ruined with a simple phone call. Karen made it clear that she was completely oblivious to your breakup and it made you wonder why she hasn’t been told yet. Shawn and his family were so close, he told them everything, so it made you wonder if he was so unaffected by the breakup that he didn’t feel the need to tell them. Was he not hurting the way you were? Was he lying when he told you he’d wait for you? When he told you to take as much time as you needed? Did he already find another lover, someone else to give his love to? He hadn’t reached out at all since you walked out the door and although you acknowledged that it was probably for the best in order to forget him, a little part of you wanted him to be calling you, begging for you to come back to him. But nothing happened, only silence from his end leaving you broken hearted and alone.

An hour later and your tears are dried, heart aching for the one person you can’t have. More importantly, you want answers and you were going to get them. Setting out with a determined look on your face, you clean up your plan for dinner and grab your keys, heading out the door towards your car. Placing the keys in the ignition, you wondered if you were stupid for putting yourself in such a vulnerable situation, but you ignored the sinking feeling in your stomach and drove towards the place you used to call home.

It felt almost foreign walking up to his condo, the walls of the elevator mocking you for showing up. You stared at yourself in the reflective panel as you went up, seeing the face of a broken girl staring back at you. Lifting your chin up and pulling your shoulders back, you took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself in anyway as the doors of the elevator finally opened. The trek down the hallway felt as though it was a mile long and your heart beat increased with every step you took. This is so stupid, you thought, he’s probably not home. Or what if he has people over. What if he has another girl over?! Your heart clenched with jealousy at the thought of someone else being over, even if you weren’t together anymore and he was therefore allowed to be seeing someone else. Though you couldn’t help but feel hurt over the idea that he had moved on so quickly when he was begging you not to leave in the first place. You realized your feet had moved you to the door before your brain could process it and you quickly knocked on the door to prevent you from backing out.

Minutes passed and you debated turning around to make your escape, but just as you were about to leave, you heard the lock jiggle, the white door in front of you opening wide, “Y/n?”

“Hey,” your throat suddenly felt drier than before and you swallowed thickly in hopes of being able to speak. Shawn moved closer to you, seemingly wanting to give you a hug, but when you took a step back, he took it as a hint to stay in the door frame.

Clearing his throat, he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, “Um...uh what are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk to you, your mom called me today,” you told him, trying to fake your confidence by looking at his eyes.

“Oh that’s nice, she’s said she misses you....”

“Why didn’t you tell her we broke up?”

Shawn’s eyes widened as if this was new information to him and all of your belongings weren’t missing from his place, “Because we’re didn’t?”

“What are you talking about? Shawn, we haven’t talked in two months.”

“I know, I told you to take however long you needed because I would be here when you change your mind. So I gave you your space for the break you wanted.”

“No, I-” you sighed in annoyance, looking down at your feet as your confident facade faded.

Shawn peered his head out to look down the hallway, “Why don’t we talk about this inside, I don’t really want all of my neighbors hearing about this.” Following him inside, you couldn’t help but notice that he hadn’t moved anything since you had left. All of your pictures were still up, and the empty spaces for your belongings were still bare. “So, what do you think?”

“Hm?” you turned your head around from where you were staring at the living room to meet his eyes as he leaned comfortably against the wall.

“I’ve given you space and time away from all of this. Have you learned to love yourself the way I love you?”

“Shawn...”

“No,” he told you sternly, walking over to where you were standing rigid, “I want you to listen to me this time. I’ve taken this time to reflect on myself and our relationship as well, and trust me, I regret everything about how I was acting before you left. I know it wasn’t right and I want to fix this, ok? I am still just as in love with you as the day you left and I want this again if you do.”

“I love you too, so so much and I do want this again, but...” you were caught off by his soft lips being pressed feverishly against yours, holding onto your waist as you grabbed his biceps to steady you from the dizzying feeling of his kiss after so long. You relaxed into his touch, pressing his body closer to yours in fear that he would disappear once you opened your eyes.

“Shut up,” he mumbled onto your lips, and his arm wrapped around your back to pull you impossibly closer. Pulling back, he let his forehead rest against yours, placing soft pecks to your lips every so often. “I love you baby, just stay with me.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Shawn, I love you too much for that.” With your lips reattached to his, you realized that maybe taking a little time away made his arms feel much more like home.

205 notes · View notes

getitinbusan · 5 years ago

Text

Jungkook's first love. Angst and smut, inspired by the song California.

It was a rare rainy August day in California. The heavy drops created a sad melody on the window as you put the dishes away. Tired and lonely, the feeling in your gut kept nagging at you, maybe it was time to give up.

It was the second month of not making rent and it was only a matter of time before your roommates would stop exchanging house cleaning duties for money.

Standing in the kitchen feeling stupid, It had taken you way longer than it should have to realize in LA you were nothing. Not pretty enough, rich enough, skinny enough or talented enough.

The top had already been torn, the letter having been read, was cradled back safely inside. Addressed to your roommate a frown crept onto your face, why wouldn’t he write to you?

It was a ridiculously hopeful notion but you widened the envelope and inhaled trying to find his fragrance, something, anything to trigger a happy memory. How many times had you borrowed his sweater just to have his smell on your skin? Cool California nights were the best excuse to wrap yourself in his scent.

You missed him, it had been a year and a half since he’d last come around.

It was too tempting to resist, your fingers pinched the paper inside of the envelope and pulled it free.

I’m feeling low, I don’t know who I am, only who I’m supposed to be.

What would life be like if I had stayed in California? We could all be roommates, hanging out and having fun, going to the beach on weekends.

Does she even think about me?

It sounds greedy that with how much I have right now, it’s not enough. I would give anything to wake up in bed beside her everyday. I want more than anything to be able to talk to her about these things but I can’t. I've made the mistake of trading her for fame and now I’m destined to keep her at an arm’s length so she’ll never know the price I paid.

How does she even see me now? Just an Idol? Has she forgotten the days we spent together?

I’ve been wrestling with myself, whoever that is. I wish I could be the teenage boy from that long ago summer again. I wrote this song thinking about it…

~When I see you smile in the screen

You’re good at everything

You’re just perfect

Feels like I've never been you

Do you even see me?

Do you know who I am?

Or how do I look now?

You don’t like me like that

I want to be your decalcomania~

I’m afraid I may not get back for a while, please write. Your friendship and thoughts of Y/N are the only things that are keeping me tethered to some semblance of reality.

Clutching the letter to your chest, your mind took you back to that day.

“Decalcomania, the art or process of transferring pictures and designs. Making a copy of the original on a different medium"

You’d both laughed at the strange name, reading the description of the art on the museum wall during your visit so long ago.

California had lured you into its promise when you turned 14. Having been accepted to an intensive dance program at The Movement Lifestyle Studio you packed up and headed West for the summer.

It was July and it was hot, the dancers stepping off the bus one at a time took their places in the studio.

Looking around there were so many older kids, you were probably one of the youngest. Calling out names they put you into groups, it appeared to be by age so you made your way to the tiny gathering of four.

Shy introductions were made as one more member was ushered over to where you had congregated. "This is Jungkook.”

He had the cutest smile and barely spoke english but his eyes twinkled like the constellations. Immediately drawn to each other you became fast friends.

Absolutely exhausted at the end of the first few days he’d knocked at your door.

He was homesick and lonely, used to being surrounded by his six members, he couldn’t sleep well without someone beside him. You let him crawl into bed with you, you were 14 and it was innocent.

Inseparable, days and nights were spent side by side, the others began referring to you as the twins. It was the best summer of your life but like every boy meets girl summer story, it had to come to a close. Promising through tears to keep in touch and stay friends you went your separate ways.

Jungkook would send silly videos of his practice sessions, goofing around with the other members. He’d facetime and text but he always loved to send handwritten letters.

They lived in a box under your bed and contained stories of how hard he was working to become an idol. He always signed off with, "I miss you" and a few lines of lyrics he’d written.

You didn’t know then how important they would become, the only tangible piece of him you could still hold on to.

Whenever he came back to America you did everything you could to see him. You went to the small tour stops when they came through in 2015, KCon in 2016, but 2017 was different.

Facetiming you with the news that they were bringing the Wings tour to NY, Chicago and Anaheim, he asked if you’d be part of the dance crew. How could you turn down two weeks with Jungkook? They were getting bigger, more popular and their lives were changing rapidly.

Jungkook would sneak you into his hotel room so you could spend your nights catching up. He had strict rules. Girls were not allowed and even though it was just friendship, it could be easily misconstrued by the fans. Everything had to be done in secret. The boys would bring in food and cover for him while you both stayed locked away out of sight.

While happy to be with him, you could tell there was an underlying sadness he was holding on to.

“I wish I could go and explore the city with you like we used to,” his voice trailed off.

You were laying in each other’s arms cuddling on his bed. Leaning over he kissed the top of your head.

“All I really want is to take you on a proper date."

Your head moved on his chest as he inhaled deeply.

"I’ve been waiting so long to become someone, to become a man worthy of your affection. Now I’m stuck, I have everything and I’m not allowed to share it with you.”

His arms gripped you tighter, “I’m sorry, this is a terrible confession. I don’t expect you to love me back, not under these circumstances, I just need you to know, you’re the only girl I’ve ever loved and there won’t be anybody else, ever."

You remembered every word of his confession, every moment of that last night in the hotel room. The words of a 19 year old boy whose life had become bigger than the feelings of two people.

He left in the morning without knowing. You were too afraid to tell him, you loved him too.

LA became home right after the they left Anaheim. Focused on dancing, if you became good enough maybe you could join the tour with him.

A letter with a big bouquet of flowers arrived a few weeks later.

"Congratulations on your new house in LA!

I hope that all of you are getting along as roommates, it’s hard living with others sometimes.

Last night I dreamt that I was there with you and all our friends, we were having a party on the beach and we sat together and watched the sunset.

Remember after practice we would skateboard as fast as we could to the ocean so we wouldn’t miss the colors?

Maybe one day my toes can feel the sand there again.

I miss you, I miss me… the me I am when I get to be with you.

We are coming back in November for a few days and I’m hoping I can see you, I’m lonely already.

Jeongguk

~Won’t you please stay in dreams

I can hear the sea from far away

Across the dream, over the bush

Go there where it becomes clear

Take my hands now

You are the cause of my euphoria

When I’m with you, I’m in utopia~

When The AMAs came, all of your friends in LA were involved with the production. Your roommates helped organize the coup to steal Jungkook away so you could take him on a real date.

Having enlisted Namjoon to help, the boys would cover for his whereabouts. The day before the awards they were only scheduled for styling, as long as he wasn’t late for the press rounds the next afternoon your plan could work.

It was Namjoon’s job to get him out of the building. Telling him to follow his lead, Joon convinced the managers that Jungkook must have eaten something bad for lunch. Claiming to not feel well, he was whisked away to meet you at the hotel's back receiving door.

Sitting in the shiny red rented convertible you tossed him a pair of sunglasses. What you wouldn’t give now to see that smile again.

Barely giving him time to get in you’d sped away heading straight for In And Out Burger.

"Kookie, I hope you're ready for the best day of your life! We’re going to eat until we explode, drink and party at the beach and then, instead of returning you to your fancy 5 star hotel you’re staying the night in my crappy little house with a tiny uncomfortable bed!!”

He laughed, so pure and happy, thinking about it now made you sad. Was that the last time he got to be his true self, Jeongguk the man not Jungkook the personna?

Knowing you only had one day to give him everything, one day to show him you loved him, you tried to make the best of it.

Picking up the food Jungkook held onto the red and white bags in the passenger seat, sneaking his hand in to steal fries when he thought you weren’t looking. If you weren’t sure you were in love with him before you you certainly were now.

Pulling up beside the tree on the beach he was stunned, “Ahhh Jagi, I can’t believe you brought me here.”

Happy that it meant as much to him as it did to you, you both sat on the branch and ate. Two blocks from the old studio this used to be your escape. Every break you’d make your way to the tree for time alone, together.

With the burgers done he turned to you and smiled. It felt like he wanted to say something, cutting him short you pulled him up and back towards the car.

Making your way to the Movement studio the students were starstruck when he walked in. After insisting that he teach some choreography, he reluctantly led the class.

Your eyes were glued to him as he moved in front of the mirrors, no longer that awkward teenager but a full grown man mesmerizing you with every move.

Getting back to the car he stopped you before you reached for the handle. Putting his arms around you he pulled you in close, “You stink Jungkook, I think our next stop is the ocean.”

You remember pulling away, how stupid you were, you should have held on to him longer. Reaching into the back seat you revealed a pair of swim shorts and a towel. He looked disappointed that you kept interrupting his attempts at intimacy, but you had a plan and limited time to execute it.

The Ocean was cold but the wind was warm, he came out of the change room with the shorts on but was still wearing his shirt.

“Kookie, this isn’t Korea, you don’t have to be so modest here. Plus, you should grab some sun, you may not believe it but when your skin is sunkissed… you look really good.”

He raised his eyebrows and quickly removed the shirt at your request.

Running into the water you splashed and played and he took great pleasure in picking you up and throwing you as far as he could.

The sun was getting ready to set and you wanted to dry off before the cooler air set in.

Leading him out of the water you both laid down on the towel. He put his arm around you under your neck and you cuddled into his side.

“My god Guk, look at your abs!”

He blushed like crazy as you traced the muscles on his stomach.

“Stop, it tickles,” he giggled.

But you didn’t, you kept tickling him until he held you so tight you couldn’t move. He had you pinned, flipping you on your back he shook his wet hair flinging water droplets all over you. Pleased with himself he leaned in closer to you, his eyes asking for permission to kiss you. As the gap between you got narrower you could hear his name being shouted and footsteps running closer. He flopped onto his back and sighed as your roommates and friends piled on top of him.

Eating, drinking and catching up with everyone you watched each other from across the bonfire. Moving from person to person he slowly made his way back to your side.

“Welcome back,” running your hand through the back of his hair, it was now or never.

Pulling him closer your lips finally met in the way they were destined, soft, slow and full of love. His hands instinctively moved to cup your face as the world stopped around you.

“I love you,” you whispered.

Nose to nose he smiled at you and it was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen.

It didn’t last long, his phone started going off incessantly. The managers knew, you'd been careless, photos and videos of him from the studio had been posted online.

“I’m so sorry Jungkook, I didn’t mean for you to get in trouble.”

His eyes turned hungry as he grabbed your hand.

“Let’s get out of here, you promised I wouldn’t be going back to my hotel tonight.”

If he was going to get in trouble anyway, why stop now?

The drive back to your place was quiet, adrenaline and hormones flowing like electricity through you both. The time for smiling was over as the seriousness of the situation hung in the air.

It wasn’t just being in trouble or being caught, but the fact that you both knew what was going to happen when you stepped into your bedroom. One act that would change everything between you, holding the power to change the dynamic of your relationship forever.

Leading him to your room you closed the door and stood staring at him as he sat on your bed. He raked his fingers through his hair before he spoke, “I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than to be able to make love to you. BUT I also know that when I leave I’m not going to get to see you again for a very long time. Management is going to do everything to keep us apart and that won’t be fair to you. I think that maybe we should just let our happy memories of today be enough, I don’t want you to get hurt."

Walking closer you stood between his legs and he wrapped his arms around your waist.

"The only way I can be hurt is if I never get to experience all of you. I can’t live not knowing how it feels to be totally yours if only for the night.”

He rested his head against your chest, “You’ll always be mine.”

His hands traveled to the hem of your shirt and his fingers ran over the soft skin of your stomach. Undoing the button of your jeans he slowly slid them down your legs and you stepped out of them.

Standing up he lifted the thin fabric of your shirt over your head and you stood before him waiting as he took his off too. Unclasping your bra he sighed as he looked at you taking in your shape, his fingertips hovering over your hard nipples.

“I’ve never done this before,” he confessed.

“Me either,” you whispered, “So, I guess the bar's pretty low.”

His giggles cut the tension before he pulled you on top of him onto the bed. More relaxed he let his mouth start exploring your body. You were goosebumps and shivers beneath him as his tongue found it’s home between your legs.

He was soft and careful, placing his lips over your clit sucking it in delicately until your moans couldn’t be contained any longer. You could feel his eyes burning into you as he watched in awe as his finger slid inside you.

“It feels good Kookie, please…”

He sighed as his mouth picked up speed and another finger slid in. Moving your hips to meet his mouth you were unravelling quickly.

“The way you taste is better than anything I had imagined.”

Devouring your clit in sessions between his words you came hard on his tongue.

“I made you so wet,” he said, impressed with himself.

Moving up to where your head lay on the pillow he pushed the dampened hair off your face, “Are you ok? Do you need anything?”

He placed his forehead against yours.

“Just you Kookie, I love you so much… I want you so badly.”

Moving slowly he lined himself up with your wet entrance.

“Tell me if you need me to stop okay?”

He pushed slowly and you could feel yourself stretching around him. He watched your face and froze when he saw the tear roll out of the corner of your eye.

“I’m so sorry, let’s stop, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

He thumbed away the tear.

“No, baby… I’m okay… I’m just so happy, so overwhelmed with how much I’m feeling right now.”

He smiled down at you, pressing his body closer as he gave another push until he was fully inside. Your bodies fell into a beautifully choreographed rhythm until Jungkook was so lost in pleasure he began to move at his own pace. Quicker and deeper he moved until he finally spilled into the condom.

You kissed, and kissed, and kissed until you fell asleep wrapped around each other.

Every few hours he’d wake you up, checking to make sure it wasn’t a dream, you'd made love each time, everytime better than the last.

It was 9 am when he caressed you awake once more.

“I have to leave soon. I don’t want to,” he spoke nestled into your neck just under your ear, “Please tell me to stay.”

Your heart broke at his words, “If I ask you to stay, I’m selfish, you’ll always wonder if you made the right decision. If I tell you to go, your dreams come true… ” your voice trailed off...

“And I’ll always wonder if I made the right decision,” he finished.

Your phone started ringing and you knew time was up.

It was Joon, “I’m outside, sorry, I held them off as long as I could. I told them I’d come get him so you could at least have time to say goodbye.”

Your tears fell out in heavy ugly sobs, “Okay, five minutes… and Joon… thanks, I know you’re probably in trouble too.”

Hanging up you turned back, Jungkook was already out of bed with his clothes thrown on. He stood with open arms waiting,

"Thank you for yesterday.“

Laying your head against his chest you took a moment to listen to his heartbeat. You could hear him sniffle, and knew he was crying.

You flashed back remembering that night long ago when he came to you homesick, holding you so he could sleep while he tried to hide his tears. There was a knock at the door and Namjoon’s voice broke through the moment.

"We’ve got to go Jungkook.”

Stepping away you’d left his shirt soaked in tears, handing him his sweater he pushed it back towards you, “You keep it.”

He kissed you one last time and turned the handle opening it to reveal Namjoon. His Hyung put his arm around his shoulder and led him to the car.

Turning one more time his eyes were filled with tears and he gave a small wave before getting in the back of the big black sedan.

For months you pretended that management was the only thing keeping you apart.

You held onto your silly notions until May when they were coming for the Billboard awards. For weeks leading up you waited for a message, a secret meeting arrangement, but you got nothing. His image was all over the TV and his voice echoed through you empty heart and then he was gone again.

Now, here you stood in your kitchen, his letter bringing him to the forefront of your mind, opening old wounds.

He was just as sad as you but what could you do? Picking up a pen you began writing…

I shouldn’t have done it but I read it in your letter

You said to a friend that you wish you were doing better

I wanted to reach out but I never said a thing

You don’t ever have to be stronger than you really are

And honey, you don’t ever have to act cooler than you think you should

You’re brighter than the brightest stars

You’re scared to win, scared to lose

I’ve heard the war was over if you really choose

The one in and around you

You hate the heat, you got the blues

You’re changing like the weather, oh, that’s so like you

I’ll pick you up

I’ll catch you on the flipside

If you come back to California

We’ll do whatever you want, travel wherever, how far

We’ll hit up all the old places

We’ll have a party, we can dance till dawn…

Y/N

October came and a chill was in the air, the smell of winter hit your nose and you stopped to take it in.

Bundled in Jungkook’s hoodie you threw your bag over your shoulder and began your walk to work. Movement had hired you on for a new intensive program and today you were going to meet your students.

So many memories flooded your mind as you made your way through the familiar neighborhood. It still hurt but things were beginning to feel happy again. Writing the letter had given you closure, he knew how you felt and beyond that there was nothing else you could do.

Opening the heavy door to the studio you caught a familiar reflection moving in the mirror writing something on the glass, It couldn’t be?

Hearing the door click back into place he turned to face you,

“Hi.”

He walked towards you slowly, unsure of what your reaction would be, he approached with caution.

“Hi.”

You were breathless, in the months of not seeing him he’d grown more handsome.

“I can’t change what happened… and for the rest of my life I’ll be sorry for all of the time we missed.”

He was getting closer.

“But I can’t take another day not knowing if I can fix this… somehow…”

He reached for your hand but you pulled it away. His head fell in disappointment.

“Jungkook, I can’t listen to this… look at me.”

Reaching for his chin you pulled his head up until he was facing you again.

“I refuse to listen to you apologize for something that was out of your control. Your life was decided before you met me and I can only be grateful that I got to appear in some part of your story.”

He tilted his head and pressed a small kiss into the hand that was still holding his chin.

“God I’ve missed you” he said as he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist.

“How long are you here? I’ve got to teach class.. It’s my first day but I’d love it if we could catch up?”

He laughed at you and your knees buckled at the sound of his happiness.

Taking his chance he pressed his lips to yours and you could feel the smile forming on his face.

“I’m your private lesson Jagi, I’ve booked you for the next two weeks”

Taking a step back you had to ask, “How Jungkook? What will you be giving up?”

Pulling you back to his embrace he began to dance with you.

“There is no more giving up… on anything. Our contracts were over and I only had one thing I wouldn’t negotiate on…that’s you."

Holding you tightly he moved you to look at the mirror.

"I wrote you something”

Please call my name one more time

I’m standing under the frozen light,

but I’ll walk step by step towards you

Still with you

“Y/N, I promise I’ll never let you go again"

#jungkook #jungkook smut #kookie #guk #bts

44 notes · View notes

thesagedahlia · 6 years ago

Text

Pick A Card: Weekend Edition

Which is your story, this weekend?

*for entertainment purposes only, energy is fluid not linear, roles are interchangeable*

Group 1 🦸🏾‍♀️

Theme: be bold & make the first move

•take charge of your destiny

•be bold & follow your heart & your emotions

•avoid recklessness or moving too fast

•come into your power, the time for action is now

I'm getting that a past influence, or experience with a past person has undergone ultimate change, & has possibly reached completion. There are war-making tendencies that is rooted in immaturity (this can be coming from the male energy). Someone has to be the more mature & reflective of the situation, & it's looking like it would be the feminine energy. A downfall or weird experience of some kind that is low vibrational may be approaching & may impact your weekend & cause some discontinuance of efforts.Things will progress in this situation after a period of withdrawal & regression. Caution may be needed as conflicting influences will arise over the weekend. You will reach a resolution to the problem or it will reach it's conclusion, as long as there is a mature person who can take charge & defuse any difficulties, you will reach or maintain a certain level of peace, or the problem can be solved all together. Being stubborn in the situation will result in partial loss, or more extremely, an incomplete union with a partner or friend. This turmoil brought confusion to a what was once in a perfect state. Things happen quickly & suddenly, after a lot of rest after strife & you may be in need of replenishment from a bitter experience. With the war & opposition, there is happiness & devotion. What you don't see coming leaves a feeling of despair. The opportunity with this person, (who is a compassionate, kind, & reliable person) is in a neutral state, & is can lead to prosperity & the start of meaningful experience, but too much force & the odds become more overwhelming, could lead to complete & sudden change (the downfall). A separation may occur where it will be a difficult transition, & there is a need to overcome the sadness & be the maturity this situation calls for.

Group 2 😒

Theme: It's time to release negativity

•emote, it's all better out than in

•it's time to move from living fearfully to living joyfully

•you're right to have your suspicions

•grudges are toxic-let something go

•the end of an argument

There is a chance to get justice & clarity in a situation this weekend, & cutting out negativity may be a theme this weekend. You may have been holding out for progress in this situation, but you may need to just quit trying. You may be feeling trapped by this person & it brings great sadness. There may be a slow moving development in an apology to bring harmony back to the situation, because there is devotion here, but the stability is diminishing. One may be readily in the mood to start a family with the other, but it's a back & forth choice. A tower has happened (if not yet, it may this weekend), & it caused an unexpected change that could result in transformation of the situation & its dynamic. Whether you were aware of this escalation or not, there is a call for strength & courage in the face of adversity. A withdrawal altogether may be initiated where the cycle will be closed out. This feels like a commitment & something someone is sympathetic in building in this situation, but the bad influences still seem to show up. This seem to involve petty communication with them that really brings judgment to their character. Anxiety still creeps in around this person & there may be a stubborn energy around the despair. This may reach a stalemate around taking further action, but there will be an opportunity to negotiate what will be done about things, but moving forward with this person may either bring more burdens & oppression, or problems may still be resolved though it will be like trying to maintain a level of peace.

Group 3 🤐

Theme: Work through your fears

•👀🍆 feeling sexy maybe?

•time to let go if a grudge you're holding

•move on from jealousy

•stop being obsessive

•could it be you're being paranoid?

•make an investment

You may be receiving recognition or attainment, or have the opportunity to (may relate to work), & it may be resulting from greater self knowledge & strength through persistence (possibly over-ambition). There may be contradictory issues involving your abilities to attain material gain & actually are just able to take the necessary actions to achieve enough, but it isn't stabilizing. But there is a wise visionary that helps you see wisdom & inspiration from above or within. This person also brings vulnerability & goodness our of you, & for a lot of you could be seeking mercy & forgiveness from them. There could be a lot of inner conflict you're going through where there is a need to balance dark & light energies, for things may be fluctuating for you. There is a need to release this energy in the proper way, as there may be distance rn. You need to be courageous enough to overcome the challenges to come regarding reconciliation with this person, & the odds may seem outwardly against you, whether they actually are or not. You will need the strength of personal integrity when arriving to them, as you may want to propose something to them. Success & honors may come at a price, & you may be fulfilling obligations while oppressed by their weight. The mystery of the situation may bring some fear or a negative attitude, but you feel your loyalty was misplaced in favor of a potentially damaging habit or desire & there was limited rational thinking in the decision making. This may have even caused you anxiety over them, & you may even fear that they are done with you. You're blaming yourself & probably contradicted how you wanted to be with this person, or contradicted yourself in general through your actions. But this weekend's theme could be considering escaping from the imprisonment which is your life without them, & you could be undergoing a change of heart that you want use your determination for the right purpose. You're paying attention to the fact that there is a need to start over. There may be feelings of restlessness or boredom, or general dissatisfaction with the current lot, & regret is strong here. You may be lacking love & that bitterness could be spoiling the good things for you, but a possible new start is under manifestation & evolve through progression is noted. Unexpected events may push forward the union with your person.

Group 4 🧘🏾‍♀️

Themes: Meditate & contemplate

•use your feelings to guide your way (logic won't work rn)

•face your fears-they may be holding you back

•this situation is being healed

•time to surrender to the Divine

•avoid being deceptive or wiling deceived

There may be an opportunity (possibly for a job or prosperity), but it could be a win for losing situation (or you feel it that way), or you may just get a kick out of being petty. There is a need to transform yourself by being a little more of a calm & healing energy to actually be in an embodiment of feminine power. Some unfulfilled desires may be having you feel confused or imprisoned, but you are determined to end these mental cycles & you will have forward progression in that. Some romance may be incoming for you & this person (or you) think about you/them a lot. Subconscious work is at play here, & there may be dreams or visions you (or they) whether realized or not. This may be hidden for you at this time, but things may be revealed to you soon, & you may be subconsciously aware of it. This person is commit to coming toward you & is looking back on what they've once know, which where mostly toxic & low vibrational energy. They may be in deep concentration regarding you & are trying to manifest their direction but this may be a challenge for them, as they be taking a stand, or mounting a defense. You're attracting & manifesting this person back into your life to bring forth new creation & a fresh start in a relationship that still has a mutual interest or its possible that this is a first love. Your inner journey & guidance is has to do with this person, but you have been having anxiety & mental harrassment over new love because there is a transcendence & need to have forgiveness needs to happen, but you may be confused by this or restricted from doing so. There is an advantage you have & a choice to make regarding this connection since it brings truth & balance to you. You have the spiritual knowledge needed for this journey, & you are called to have strength & willpower against untrustworthy forces. This love is a spiritual one & a re/union is in the works for you. You're headed on a new path, but you may need to let go of the past, that caused the unexpected change to your connection. There is a chance for regeneration & this was nearly a missed opportunity because of disruption or lack of engagement or focus, isolation & blocked communication. There is still a slow moving offer coming forward, but the block is caused by maintaining stability.

#tarot #tarot community #witchblr #divination #witchcraft #tarot conversations #tarot readings #pick a card #pick a card reading #weekend edition

30 notes · View notes

getitinbusan · 5 years ago

Text

Jungkook friends to lovers, angst and smut. Inspired by Lana Del Rey's California. Please leave feedback if you'd like more.

It was a rare rainy August day in California, the heavy drops creating a melody on the window as you put the dishes away. You were tired, lonely and the feeling you had in your gut kept nagging at you, maybe it was time to give up. Well into the second month of not making rent, it was only a matter of time before your roommates would stop exchanging house cleaning duties for money. Standing in the kitchen feeling stupid, It had taken way longer than it should have to come to the realization that in LA you were nothing, not pretty enough, rich enough, skinny enough or talented enough.

Gathering up the mail that was strewn across the countertop, you shuffled through to sort priority. Junk mail, bills, personal… one standing out in particular. The penmanship was nice, black ink, unassuming envelope, but it was the stamp that caught your attention, it was sent from Korea. The top had already been torn, the letter having been read, was cradled back safely inside. Addressed to your roommate a frown crept onto your face, why wouldn't he write you? It was a ridiculously hopeful notion but you widened the envelope and inhaled trying to find his fragrance, something to trigger a happy memory. How many times had you borrowed his sweater just to have his smell on your skin? Cool California nights were the best excuse to wrap yourself in his scent. You missed him, it had been a year and a half since he'd last come around.

It was too tempting to resist, your fingers pinched the paper inside of the envelope and pulled it free.

"I'm feeling low, I don't know who I am, only who I'm supposed to be. What would life be like if I had stayed in California? We could all be roomates, hanging out and having fun, going to the beach on weekends. Does she even think about me? It sounds greedy that with how much I have right now, it's not enough, I would give anything to wake up everyday in bed beside her. I want more than anything to be able to talk to her about these things but I can't, I made the mistake of trading her for fame and now I'm destined to keep her at an arm's length so she'll never know the price I paid. How does she even see me now? Just an Idol? Has she forgotten the days we spent together? I've been wrestling with myself, whoever that is. I wish I could be the teenage boy from that long ago summer again. I wrote this song thinking about it…"

~When I see you smile in the screen

You're good at everything

You're just perfect

Feels like I've never been you

Do you even see me?

Do you know who I am?

Or how do I look now?

You don't like me like that

I want to be your decalcomania~

"I'm afraid I may not get back for a while, please write. Your friendship and thoughts of Y/N are the only things that are keeping me tethered to some semblance of reality."

Clutching the letter to your chest your mind took you back to that day. "Decalcomania, the art or process of transferring pictures and designs. Making a copy of the original on a different medium" You'd both laughed at the strange name, reading the description of the art on the museum wall during your visit so long ago.

California had lured you into its promise when you'd just turned 14. Having been accepted to The Movement Lifestyle Studios intensive dance program in LA you left all your friends for the summer. You were going to be discovered! It was July and it was hot, the dancers stepping off the bus one at a time to take their places in the studio. Looking around there were so many older kids, you were probably one of the youngest. They called out names and put you into groups, it appeared to be by age and you made your way to the tiny gathering of four. Shy introductions were made as one more member was ushered over to where you had congregated, "This is Jungkook." He had the cutest smile and barely spoke english but his eyes twinkled like the constellations.

Immediately drawn to each other you became fast friends. Absolutely exhausted at the end of the first few days he'd knocked at your door. He was homesick and lonely, used to being surrounded by his six members and he couldn't sleep well without someone beside him. You let him crawl into bed with you, you were 14 and it was innocent. Inseparable, days were spent side by side and the others referred to you as the twins. It was the best summer of your life. Promising through tears to keep in touch and stay friends you went your separate ways.

Jungkook would send silly videos of his practice sessions, goofing around with the other members. He'd facetime and text but he always loved to send handwritten letters. They lived in a box under your bed and contained stories of how hard he was working to become an idol. He always signed off with an I miss you and a few lines of lyrics he'd written. You didn't know then how important they would become, the only tangible piece of him you could still hold on to.

Whenever he came back to America you did everything you could to see him. You went to the small tour stops when they came through in 2015, KCon in 2016, but 2017 was different. Facetiming you with the news that they were bringing the Wings tour to NY, Chicago and Anaheim, he asked if you'd be part of the dance crew. How could you turn down two weeks with Jungkook? They were getting bigger, more popular and their lives were changing.

Jungkook would sneak you into his hotel room so you could spend the nights catching up. He had rules, the fans came first and girls were

not allowed. Even though it was just friendship it could be easily misconstrued, everything had to be done in secret. The boys would bring in food and cover for him while you both stayed locked away out of sight. While you were happy to be with him, you could tell there was an underlying sadness he was holding on to. "I wish I could go and explore the city with you, like we used to," his voice trailed off. You were laying in each other's arms cuddling on his bed. Leaning over he kissed the top of your head, "All I wanted was to take you on a proper date. I've been waiting so long to become someone, to become a man worthy of your affection. Now I'm stuck, I have everything and I'm not allowed to share it with you." His arms gripped you tighter, "I'm sorry, this is a terrible confession. I don't expect you to love me back, not under these circumstances, I just need you to know, you're the only girl I've ever loved and there won't be anybody else, ever."

You remembered every word of his confession, every moment of that last night in the hotel room. The words of a 19 year old boy whose life had become bigger than the feelings of two people. He left in the morning without knowing, too afraid to tell him, you loved him too.

LA became home right after the tour left Anaheim. Focused on dancing, if you became good enough maybe you could tour with him. A letter with a big bouquet of flowers arrived a few weeks later.

"Congratulations on your new house in LA! I hope that all of you are getting along as roommates, it's hard living with others sometimes. Last night I dreamt that I was there with you and all our friends, we were having a party on the beach and we sat together and watched the sunset. Remember after practice we would skateboard as fast as we could to the ocean so we wouldn't miss the colors? Maybe one day my toes can feel the sand there again. I miss you, I miss me… the me I am when I get to be with you. We are coming back in November for a few days and I'm hoping I can see you, I'm lonely already.

Jungkookie

~Won't you please stay in dreams

I can hear the sea from far away

Across the dream, over the bush

Go there where it becomes clear

Take my hands now

You are the cause of my euphoria

When I'm with you, I'm in utopia~

When The AMAs came, all of your friends in LA were involved with the awards production. Your roommates helped organize the coup to steal Jungkook away so you could take him on a real date. Having enlisted Namjoon to help, the boys would cover for his whereabouts. The day before the awards they were only scheduled for styling, as long as he wasn't late for the press rounds the next afternoon your plan could work. It was Namjoon's job to get Jungkook out of the building. Telling him to follow his lead, Joon convinced the managers that Kook must have eaten something bad for lunch and wasn't feeling well, he was whisked away to meet you at the hotels back receiving door. Sitting in the shiny red rented convertible you tossed him a pair of sunglasses, what you wouldn't give now to see that smile again. Barely giving him time to get in you'd sped away heading straight for In And Out Burger. "Jungkookie, I hope your ready for the best day of your life! We're going to eat until we explode, drink and party at the beach and then instead of returning you to your 5 star fancy hotel you're staying the night in my crappy little house with a tiny uncomfortable bed!!" He laughed, so pure and happy, thinking about it now made you sad. Was that the last time he got to be his true self, Jeong-guk the man not Jungkook the personna?

Knowing you only had one day to give him everything, one day to show him you loved him, you tried to make the best of it. Picking up the food Jungkook held onto the red and white bags in the passenger seat, sneaking his hand in to steal fries when he thought you weren't looking. If you weren't sure you were in love with him before you you certainly were now.

Pulling up beside the tree on the beach he was stunned, "Ahhh Jagi, I can't believe you brought me here." Happy that it meant as much to him as it did to you, you both sat on the branch and ate. Two blocks from the old studio it used to be your escape, every break you'd make your way to the tree for a time alone, together.

With the burgers done he turned to you and smiled, it felt like he wanted to say something, cutting him short you pulled him up and back towards the car. Making your way to the Movement studio the students were starstruck when he walked in. After insisting that he teach some choreography, he reluctantly led the class. Your eyes were glued to him as he moved in front of the mirrors, no longer that awkward teenager but a full grown man mesmerizing you with every move. You were careless, It didn't take long for the photos to hit social media. Getting back to the car he stopped you before you reached for the handle. Putting his arms around you he pulled you in close, "You stink Jungkook, I think our next stop is the ocean" You remember pulling away, how stupid you were, you should have held on to him longer. Reaching into the back seat you revealed a pair of swim shorts and a towel. He looked disappointed that you kept interrupting his attempts at intimacy, but you had a plan and limited time to execute it.

The Ocean was perfect, and the wind was warm, he came out of the change room with the shorts on but was still wearing his shirt. "Kookie, this isn't Korea, you don't have to be so modest here AND you may not believe it but when your skin is sunkissed… you look like a god." He raised his eyebrows and quickly removed the shirt at your request. Running into the water you splashed and played and he took great pleasure in picking you up and throwing you as far as he could. The sun was getting ready to set and you wanted to dry off before the cooler air set in. Leading him out of the water you both laid down on the towel. He put his arm around you under your neck and you cuddled into his side. "My god Jungkookie, look at your abs!" He blushed like crazy as you traced the muscles on his stomach. "Stop, it tickles." he giggled. But you didn't, you kept tickling him until he held you so tight you couldn't move. He had you pinned and flipping you on your back he shook his wet hair flinging water droplets all over you. Pleased with himself he leaned in closer to you, his eyes asking for permission to kiss you. As the gap between you got narrower you could hear his name being shouted and footsteps running closer. He flopped onto his back and sighed as your roommates and friends piled on top of him. Eating, drinking and catching up with everyone you watched each other from across the bonfire. Moving from person to person he slowly made his way back to your side. "Welcome back, Kookie," running your hand through the back of his hair it was now or never. Pulling him closer your lips finally met in the way they were destined, soft, slow and full of love. His hands instinctively moved to cup your face as the world stopped around you. "I love you," you whispered, nose to nose he smiled and it was the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen. It didn't last long, his phone started going off incessantly. The managers knew, the photos and videos from the studio had been discovered online. "I'm so sorry Kook, I didn't mean for you to get in trouble." His eyes turned hungry as he grabbed your hand. "Let's get out of here, you promised I wouldn't be going back to my hotel tonight." If he was going to get in trouble anyway, why stop now?

The drive back to your place was quiet, adrenaline and hormones flowing like electricity through you both. The time for smiling was over as the seriousness of the situation hung in the air. It wasn't just being in trouble or being caught, but the fact that you both knew what was going to happen when you stepped into your bedroom. One act that would change everything between you, holding the power to change the dynamic of your relationship forever. Leading him to your room you closed the door and stood staring at him as he sat on your bed. He raked his fingers through his hair before he spoke, "I've never wanted anything more in my life than to be able to make love to you. BUT I also know that when I leave I'm not going to get to see you again for a very long time. Management is going to do everything to keep us apart and that won't be fair to you. I think that maybe we should just let our happy memories of today be enough, I don't want you to get hurt."

Walking closer you stood between his legs and he wrapped his arms around your waist. "The only way I can be hurt is if I never get to experience all of you. I can't live not knowing how it feels to be totally yours if only for the night." He rested his head against your chest, "You'll always be mine," his hands traveled to the hem of you shirt and his fingers ran over the soft skin of your stomach. Undoing the button of your jeans he slowly slid them down your legs and you stepped out of them. Standing up he lifted the thin fabric of your shirt over your head and you stood before him waiting as he took his off too. Unclasping your bra he sighed as he looked at you taking in your shape, his fingertips hovering over your hard nipples. "I've never done this before," he confessed. "Me either," you whispered, "So, I guess the bars pretty low." His giggles cut the tension before he pulled you on top of him onto the bed. More relaxed he let his mouth start exploring your body. You were goosebumps and shivers beneath him as his tongue found it's home between your legs. He was soft and careful placing his lips over over your clit, sucking it in delicately until your moans couldn't be contained any longer. You could feel his eyes burning into you as he watched in awe as his finger slide inside you. "It's good Kookie, please…i can take more." He sighed as his mouth picked up speed and another finger slid in slowly. Moving your hips to meet his mouth you were unravelling quickly, "The way you taste is better than anything I had imagined." Circling your clit between his words you came hard on his tongue. "I made you so wet," he said, impressed with himself. "I need to feel myself inside you." Moving up to where your head lay on the pillow he pushed your damp hair off you face, "are you ok? do you need anything?" he placed his forehead against yours. "Just you Kookie, I love you so much, please… I want you so badly." Moving slowly he lined himself up with your wet entrance. "Tell me if you need me to stop okay?" He pushed slowly and you could feel yourself stretching around him. He watched your face and froze when he saw the tear roll out of the corner of your eye. "I'm so sorry, let's stop, I didn't mean to hurt you." He thumbed away the tear, "No, baby… I'm okay… I'm just so happy, so overwhelmed with how much I'm feeling right now" he smiled down at you, pressing his body closer as he gave another push until he was fully inside you. Your bodies fell into a beautifully choreographed rhythm until Jungkook was so lost in pleasure he began to move at his own pace. Quicker and deeper he moved until he finally spilled into the condom.

You kissed, and kissed, and kissed until you fell asleep wrapped around each other. Every few hours he'd wake you up, checking to make sure it wasn't a dream, making love each time, harder and faster. It was 9 am when he caressed you awake once more. "I have to leave soon, I don't want to," he spoke nestled into your neck just under your ear, "Please tell me to stay." Your heart broke at his words, "If I ask you to stay, I'm selfish, you'll always wonder if you made the right decision. If I tell you to go, your dreams come true… " your voice trailed off, "and I'll always wonder if I made the right decision," he finished.

Your phone started ringing and you knew time was up. It was Joon, "I'm outside, sorry, I held them off as long as I could. I told them I'd come get him so you could at least have time to say goodbye." Your tears fell out in heavy ugly sobs, "Okay, five minutes… and Joon… thanks, I know you're probably in trouble too." Hanging up you turned back, Jungkook was already out of bed with his clothes thrown on. He stood with open arms waiting,

"Thank you for yesterday." Laying your head against his chest you took a moment to listen to his heartbeat. You could hear him sniffle, and knew he was crying. You flashed back remembering that night long ago when he came to you homesick, holding you so he could sleep while he tried to hide his tears. There was a knock at the door and

Namjoon's voice broke through the moment "We've got to go Jungkook." Stepping away you'd left his shirt soaked in tears, handing him his sweater he pushed it back towards you, "keep it." He kissed you one last time and turned the handle opening it to reveal Namjoon. His Hyung put his arm around his shoulder and led him to the car.

Turning one more time he eyes were filled with tears and he gave a small wave before getting in the back of the big black sedan.

For months you pretended that management was the only thing keeping you apart. You held onto your silly notions until May, they were coming for the Billboard awards. For weeks leading up to them you waited for a message, a secret meeting arrangement, but you got nothing. His image was all over the TV and his voice echoed through you empty heart and then he was gone again.

Now, here you stood in your kitchen, his letter bringing him to the forefront of your mind, opening old wounds. He was just as sad as you but what could you do? Picking up a pen you began writing…

I shouldn't have done it but I read it in your letter

You said to a friend that you wish you were doing better

I wanted to reach out but I never said a thing

You don't ever have to be stronger than you really are

And honey, you don't ever have to act cooler than you think you should

You're brighter than the brightest stars

You're scared to win, scared to lose

I've heard the war was over if you really choose

The one in and around you

You hate the heat, you got the blues

You're changing like the weather, oh, that's so like you

I'll pick you up

I'll catch you on the flipside

If you come back to California

We'll do whatever you want, travel wherever, how far

We'll hit up all the old places

We'll have a party, we can dance till dawn…

October came and a chill was in the air, the smell of winter hit your nose and you stopped to take it in. Bundled in Jungkook's hoodie you threw your bag over your shoulder and began your walk to work. Movement had hired you on for a new intensive program and today you were going to meet your students. So many memories flooded your mind as you made your way through the familiar neighborhood. It still hurt but things were beginning to feel happy again. Writing the letter had given you closure, he knew how you felt and beyond that there was nothing else you could do. Opening the heavy door to the studio you caught a familiar reflection moving in the mirror writing something on the glass, It couldn't be? Hearing the door click back into place he turned to face you, "Hi." he walked towards you slowly, unsure of what your reaction would be, he approached with caution. "Hi," you were breathless, in the months of not seeing him he'd grown more handsome. "I can't change what happened… and for the rest of my life I'll be sorry for all of the time we missed." He was getting closer, "But I can't take another day not knowing if I can fix this… somehow…" he reached for your hand. Pulling it back away his head fell in disappointment, "Jungkook, I can't listen to this… look at me," reaching for his chin you pulled his head up until he was facing you again. "I refuse to listen to you apologize for something that was out of your control. Your life was decided before you met me and I can only be grateful that I got to appear in some part of your story" he tilted his head and pressed a small kiss into the hand that was still holding his chin. "God I've missed you" he said as he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist. "How long are you here? I've got to teach class.. It's my first day but I'd love it if we could catch up?" He laughed at you and your knees buckled at the sound of his happiness. Taking his chance he pressed his lips to yours and you could feel the smile forming on his face. "I'm your private lesson Jagi, I've booked you for the next two weeks" Taking a step back you had to ask, "How Jungkook? What will you be giving up?" Pulling you back to his embrace he began to dance with you, "There is no more giving up… on anything. Our contracts were over and I only had one thing I wouldn't negotiate on…that's you."

Holding you tightly he moved you to look at the mirror, 'I wrote you something"

The only thing I can do

In the garden

In this world

Is to bloom a pretty flower that resembles you

And to breathe as the me that you know

But I still want you

I still want you

"Y/N I promise I'll never let you go again"

#Jungkook #jungkook scenario #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x oc #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #Jungkook smut #Nochu #Kookie #bts kookie #kookie imagine #jeon jungguk #Bts #boyfriend bts #btsdance #bts fic

104 notes · View notes