#(for ryn mention lol)

[essektheylyss]

You know, with the fact that Ryn went and got herself petrified within a day of finding out just how willing the Ruby Vanguard are to fuck a wizard up, I do think that, while the bar is very low, Essek (as he is during the course of the campaign) really does deserve some credit for never ending up in such a self-imposed pickle that he needed his allied party to show up and save him from himself. In fact, the only time the Nein directly felt the need to worry about him was when Caleb put him in danger without thinking through certain connections that would be made, and even then, that was more of Caleb feeling guilt-ridden about it than actual worrying.

And to be very clear, Essek absolutely was and still to this day in canon is in a massive, self-imposed pickle, but when it actually comes down to it, the Nein were pretty tangential and superfluous to navigating that, and he's predominantly doing the work himself.

[cryptidcodex]

I'm explaining the name change whether y'all care or not lol

When we first made our Facebook page, we were only just becoming comfortable with expressing our system hood and gender identity. We also had no idea there was a whole community of systems on here and tik tok.

We chose the name Nonbinary Vampire Friend, because left book pages usually go with a really long string of adjectives as their page name. It's sort of a core part of the community over there.

I think the nonbinary part was pretty self explanatory.

Vampire was because my partner at the time had a huge vampire kink, and it had been an inside joke amongst my friends for a long time that I was a vampire, because I was porcelain shade, because I burn easy, because I hate bright light and had a delayed sleep cycle, because I was goth, and because I've never been particularly fond of garlic.

Also, because being the pet pick me meant all the guys projected their fantasies on us, which included a lot of people insisting we had to be dominant because of how confrontational we are. That actually just means I'm a brat, but that's not related to this post lol. We've discussed the relation between being a pick me in high school, our trauma, and our gender crisis as an adult on our page a bit, and I'm happy to talk more about that over here too.

Friend, because while we had agreed to make a gradual transition to polyamory, as we'd agreed on when we first got together, my relationship at the time was still monogamous. And we're Demi. So while a lot of pages in the Facebook community format their name with "gf" or "partner" or something related on the end, I originally made my page just to make more friends.

A lot of the things both inside and out of us have changed since then. Two months after I made my page, my partner outed himself as a transphobe and a one penis policy type, despite me being very clear that was not ok. So we broke up.

We've also become more comfortable with our system hood, and our identity as a whole. We've always been big book wyrms, and had a special interest in fairy tales, folk lore, spirituality, and sociology. Vampire, though still enjoyable for us, is not the only type of cryptid in our system.

Not to mention, I've since attempted to reconnect with some of those friends from high school, and was very much reminded of why I stopped being friends with them. We've been met with the same transphobia, homophobia, ableism, avoiding accountability, and avoidance in general that I had hoped my friends would have grown out of going into adult life. They're on their own journeys, but I think it's time for us to move on.

A lot of the previously dormant systems have re-opened, and no matter who or what comes our way, we're going to continue to be whatever we wanna be, instead of what others tell us to be.

And lastly, why did we wait so long to change it? Like, it's been the same for almost two years now, and we'd even carried it over when we started exploring other platforms.

Honestly this just has a lot to do with the concept of "branding". By the time we first felt we wanted to change it, we'd already reached like 3k on our page I think? We were worried a name change would confuse people and we'd lose followers and have to work to get back. We want our platforms to reach as far as possible to share mutual aid and important info, and build this community, and we can't do that if no one even knows what or who they're looking at.

Honestly this is something that was taught to us by a lot of the programs grooming us to be a politician. "Keep the branding consistent". We recently decided to say fuck that, my page, my rules.

We have spent the last several months agonizing over picking the perfect name in the hopes we don't have to change it again, and hopefully we won't have to lol.

Love y'all ❤️‍🔥

~Ryn

[queen-scribbles]

3, 6 & 15 from the fanfic asks!

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

Pillars of Eternity though I may just be biased bc that's where Rhi(haledamage) and I became besties <3 Wrath of the Righteous and KotOR/SWtOR are both great, too, but my personal best experience and involvement has been with Pillars.

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

hahahah *cracks knuckles* depending on how you define involved...

Trinne Amell/Harvey Cousland (Dragon Age) ∙ Shenko* & Cam/Liam (Mass Effect/ME:A) ∙ Vikkari/Arueshalae(WotR) ∙ Jas/Tristian(PfKm) ∙ Tavi/Aloth(Pillars of Eternity) [Edér/Charity is a close runner up tho] ∙ AJ/Nate(tWC) ∙ can't pick between my SWtOR ships or Andromeda 6 couples∙ Revanasi(KotOR) ∙ Evony/Bao-Dur is canon in my heart(KotOR 2) ∙ Ves/Kurt(Greedfall) ∙ Ryn/Red or Trick/Trouble (ShoH) ∙ Meneldir/survival happiness(LOTRO) ∙honorable mention to Perc'ahlia bc that not from a game I played, but I was/am at least on the fringes of CR fandom and they are GOALS for an OTP

*I have two Shepards I ship equally with Kaidan, thus the generic ship name instead of specifics. xD (any fandoms not listed here were not forgotten, I just don't think I was "involved" enough in the fandom for them to count)

15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?

lol bless you for this one. DA:O era Jowan/Leliana. It only works in Origins bc Leliana goes through enough character evolution by DA:I they wouldn't mesh the same anymore imo, but their character arcs/story involvement have some similar themes(betrayal of trust, redemption, questioning if they're a good person etc) that I think would have been really neat to explore if BioWare hadn't cut recruiting Jowan

Fanfic Asks

[thepeculiarbird]

WIP questionnaire

Thanks @kaylinalexanderbooks

Rules: answer as few or as many as you'd like!

Tag : @raiden-makoto @sarandipitywrites @jaelink @aalinaaaaaa @lyutenw @buffythevampirelover @nettleandthorne @finxi-writes @arwenschepers @corruptedbread @whimsical-blood-fairy @unrepentantcheeseaddict @kidukami @ryns-ramblings @rowenas-my-fave-child @mysticstarlightduck

1. What was the first part of your wip that you created?

I'm not sure how i'm supposed to answer but by the person who tagged me answers, I think mine is the characters but only Madhi and Noe (Dan being a random pilot with no name back in 2019)

3. Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

I obviously love my main characters because I've wrote about them for so long and they're just the best. For the less important mcs, my fav would be Devyn because she's a really interesting character. She's so silly but at the same time she's going to have an important role later in the serie and I'm really excited to write about it.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

It's briefly mentionned once or twice but Dan and Alec have a cat, her name is Cloud because she's white/grey and looks like a cloud!

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

The last chapter of Draft 1, I'm not stuck but I'm currently busy this week and the next one so I won't work on it a lot. Hope I can finish it soon tho!

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

Just cult stuff I guess.

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

Publish it lol.

[captainderyn]

Get To Know Me

Tagged by @tiredassmage, @elveny, and @anchanted-one thank you <3

--

Share Your Wallpaper:

My current laptop background is the art of Ryn I commissioned from @sbeep

And my current phone lock screen is this really cool piece of the Normandy:

I won't share my home screen but its a picture of my partner and one of our cats <3

Last Song Listened To: It was either Bite Me by Avril Lavigne or Tantrum by Charlotte Sands, can't remember lol.

Last Movie: I thiiink it was John Wick 3? We've been watching the John Wick movies after my partner learned I'd never seen them.

Craving: More sleep. I don't need more sleep but I really want more sleep. Also been really wanting some pickles/salty stuff the last few days.

What are you wearing rn? PJs/lounge clothes still! Flannel pj pants, black sweatshirt, and fluffy white blanket.

How tall are you? 5'6!

Piercings: I have my ears pierced, which only happened over the summer lol. I'd love to maybe get another piercing in each ear but don't feel inclined enough to go do it yet.

Tattoos: I have one! It's on my inner left bicep and its Mt Washington/the presidential range of the White Mountains with the Orion constellation above the peak. It's got some personal meaning to it but also just liked the way it looked. In theory I want at least one more tattoo, I want to shards of Narsil somewhere on my body but I can't decide where (Well, it makes most sense in my brain to get it on my inner forearm but I don't know if I want it there).

Glasses/contacts: Neither!

Last Drink: Technically water but I'm going to go make myself some earl grey tea with a splash of coffee (its really good, saw it on MorganDrinksCoffee's youtube channel).

Last Show: Uhh...I think it was an episode of The Circle on Netflix over dinner Sunday night because it was a stressful weekend and we just needed something super chill and ridiculous to watch.

Last thing you ate: I got dinner at Culvers last night because I wanted a salted caramel milkshake lol. And their cheese curds (Thank you midwest/south for introducing me to Culvers)

Favorite Color: Kinda swings around between a deep plum purple and a burgundy color.

Current Obsession: Still teetering on the obsession edge of Cyberpunk 2077, though its not got as much of a choke hold on me as it has the last like...two months. Elden Ring is lurking in the background menacingly.

Unrelated Obsession: The Exiled Fleet series by JS Dewes has taken root once again because her new book Rubicon comes out today. So I've been consuming a lot of recorded interviews/con panels/ect in anticipation.

Any Pets: In this household: one menace tuxedo cat pulled from a dumpster in Texas (Blasto) and my poor cinnamon roll of an orange maine coon mix (Atlas).

Honorary mention is Zeke, the 120lbs golden german shepard mix that was a stray down here last summer and I fell in absolute love with but couldn't feasibly adopt, who now lives with my parents up in New England lol.

Do you have a crush on anyone? My partner :P Also fictional characters/OCs

Favorite Fictional Character: HMM way too many to count tbh. Aragorn is probably the longest running fictional character because hooo boy. Can I say female V from Cyberpunk? I think the voice acting for her was done phenomenally. But if I had to choose from not toeing the OC line, probably Adequin Rake from the Last Watch (Js Dewes).

Last Place Traveled: Not counting the city for work or like...~moving~ out here probably to the other side of Kentucky to visit in-laws before I moved out of state. Or maybe back home to NH over the summer? Depends on technicalities of "travel" lol.

Tagging: @greyias annnd....anyone else who sees this and is inclined to do it!

[100hearteyes]

I loved this last episode of CR, but also have a couple of gripes with it and the overall arc. I can't overstate how epic the episode was and how much I love a BIG LOT of what's been done so far in C3, but I also need to rant about two or three things that have been bothering me lol

(ignore if you don't wanna read mild criticism)

First, Ludinus's plan with Vax relied on too many variables and probably's. Orym or no Orym, he assumed Keyleth would intervene in-person for sure at the end, therefore luring Vax out, which... Yeah, very very likely, but should you really hinge a huge master plan a thousand years in the making on 'very likely'? I wouldn't fuck with that many odds tbh.

Secondly, and this is an issue I've had with this campaign at large since the Ruidus plot really kicked off, I think the fact that Bells Hells were always clearly in over their heads in this was a bit of a turn off for me, or at least took me out of it a bit, because the whole thing felt too big, too soon for the campaign. Like, how do you follow this up? How do you justify another nearly two thirds or over a half of campaign? Because yeah, if C1 and C2 are anything to go by, we haven't even hit the halfway mark for Bells Hells. How do you keep the stakes high enough for people to care when you've had this monumental arc so soon when the characters aren't even level 10 and are so clearly out of their depth? This feels like endgame, but we aren't even halfway through. Mind you, I love this arc (despite the incessant lore dumps, some of which quite boring tbh) and thought 51 was epic. Legit cried when Vax showed up and then got my heart broken. Also wanted a lot more Beau and Caleb, though, and those rolls by Liam and Marisha taking them out so soon felt really unsatisfying tbh, even if they helped flesh out just how strong these villains are. I think that's part of the problem - Lvl20 Keyleth and Vax plus Lvl~18 (?) Caleb and Beau were no match for them, how could the Hells even make a difference besides delay the inevitable? So yeah, I think that's my main gripe: the disproportionate threat level, which also made it glaringly obvious from the beginning that there was no winning there - not completely. Not to mention that it somewhat strips players of their agency imo. Of course there were some bad rolls and bad decisions. The Imogen/Liliana persuasion check, Ashley - who is my favorite player and must be protected at all costs, mind you - was pretty much useless (it seems she thought they had more time, otherwise definitely wouldn't have skipped turn after turn after turn, especially considering Fearne had the potential to do great damage to the bad guys' plan - BIG roleplaying moment from Ashley by not going for the beacon, though. That was SO tempting, but she managed to stay true and not metagame), the Beau and Caleb rolls (Beau's above all, since she had advantage), Orym failing to destroy the backpack when he was THAT CLOSE, Marisha forgetting to check the scry ball sooner early on, their bad rolls which delayed the destruction of the power cores in the chambers (could have got to more of them had they done it faster), FCG breaking Ryn (a mix of bad roll and bad decision), Chetney spending all that time on a vain climb, etc. Like, again, yes, a lot of things could have gone differently, but I really think that the final outcome, whatever the iteration, was pretty much out of the players' hands.

Thirdly, and I promise this is the last one, although I loved loved loved loved loved to see Beau and Caleb and Keyleth and Vax, I think the waters may be starting to murky a bit regarding the utilization of former PCs. Marisha hasn't rolled once for Keyleth (as far as we know) but rolled for Beau, even though Matt plays both. So Iike, what's the rule here? Why do Marisha and Liam's rolls only decide some characters' fates? Is it fair to hinge Beau and Caleb's success on the players' roles even though you're the one playing them now? Like, you could see the added tension to Liam and especially Marisha, knowing they each had not one but TWO characters' lives on their hands and couldn't even make decisions for one of them. I don't know that the added pressure is very fair to the players. And, again, why do it for Beau and Caleb and not every other character they've played that shows up? And is it fair to do it for one set of characters and not the other? We go back to the main question: what is the rule?

Anyway I guess I just needed to verbalize my thoughts about the few things I didn't like 😆

That said, I CAN'T WAIT to see what happens next and I really hope Fearne still gets to meet Beau eventually. My girl Ashley deserves it.

[starlitangels]

More of my mythology brain goin' brr

Hades only mentions Zeus and Poseidon being his siblings, and not his other ( mythological) siblings, being Hera, Hestia, and Demeter.

Probably cus, Zeus was married to Hera, and Persephone was Zeus and Demeter's daughter. It would be a pile of spaghetti that is the mythologically accurate greek gods family tree.

Probably best that they aren't related.

Wait, so does that mean that Hermes, Artemis, Apollo, Athena, Ares, Hephaestus, Dionysius, literally 7% of ancient greece( yes i took that from somewhere) are our cousins?

Welp, late night thoughts with Ryn lol(?)

Yeah. He also says one of them is his sister but doesn't say whether it's Poseidon or Zeus.

Yeah Greek mythology is a mess. So is Norse, tbh

I don't think we're going to have that many cousins XD Whether fortunately or unfortunately is up to you, I suppose. The beauty of GB's storytelling is adding subtle references to the mythologies the names come from, but making his own stories with new frankly quite refreshing twists

[rickie-the-storyteller]

Thanks for the mention, @fire-but-ashes-too!

I'm responding a little late, but better late than never lol.

I can't believe that it's almost the end of 2023… I've only been on here since March this year, and it's already been the most amazing journey. I know that's a super cliche thing for me to say, but it's really true!

I want to thank everybody for being so welcoming and kind <3

I am so grateful to every single one of you…

@exquisitecrow, @urbliscom, @lana36558, @the-art-of-busy-nothings, @saviournelwinter, @rosieerose, @heathersaddict, @waywardwizzard, @jessicawestonauthor, @gummybugg, @beginning-of-wisdom, @thelavenderwriter, @dragonedged-if, @yourlocalcryptidinthewoods, @practicecourts, @winterandwords,

@theunboundwriter, @falesiacats, @jojomills, @author-a-holmes, @talesofsorrowandofruin, @lovely-ashes09, @blackrosesandwhump, @lepotatingshep, @mousedetective, @toribookworm22, @thewardenofwinter, @koka1967, @lyutenw, @autumnalwalker, @scorpiolight, @originaltalecreator,

@ryns-ramblings, @soph1333, @amrago, @mysticstarlightduck,

I feel like that's way too many lol. But what can you do.

2023 is coming to an end so this is my annual I love my online friends so fucking much you wouldn't believe me if I told you post.

[emma-radfemcanu]

I visited my grandparents this weekend which was really nice :) but I always feel sad when I see them now because they look older every time

And of course that's just how time and aging work but I feel like it's been so much more noticeable the last few years. My grandad is 81 and is physically fairly robust tbh, it was my grandma (who is 77) where I really noticed it- she was putting out plates and her hands were so shaky, and also the way she walks although tbf she has had both a hip and knee replacement lol

When my mum was driving us home afterwards she mentioned it and I'm glad it wasn't just me who noticed. But she said about wanting to see them more often because, at the risk of sounding a bit morbid, objectively they are pretty old and you never really know what's around the corner. This is all true and it's not even the first time I've thought this, but for some reason it's upset me a lot more this time

I'll be 24 in a few weeks which is very young still, but to me that is now 'mid 20s' instead of 'early 20s' and it feels like a huge distinction even though it isn't really. And I often get upset on my birthday (and Christmas too) because I get very melancholy about time passing and you feel it more then- my other grandma and one of my aunts died a few years back and knowing that I'll never get another birthday card in almost unreadable writing 😢

So this birthday feels like a bit of a milestone and I think that's why I'm feeling it so much now. All the time I could have spent with them and didn't- or rather wasn't able to (this is a whole story in itself but genuinely is one of the biggest reasons why I'm so resentful of my father), and I can't get any of it back and there might not be much of it left. And I just feel very sad about it

(Alexa play Traveling Song by Ryn Weaver)

[ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2]

hey

Sort of cracks moon theory

When I was watching c2 nd we were initially learning abt Cognouza and were unsure about what it was, I shared Jesters theory of "the eyes of nine city in the astral sea" potentially being that big god killing device

anyways, that wasn't it. We never learned what the God killing weapon of Aeor was.

What if its Ruidus? No one knows what it is after all, and it's unknown when it came into existence.

It also does not play a role with any major religion with exandria, so it's odd to be related to the betrayer gods as well. And it's taken to be a bad omen, and a god destroying weapon is a pretty bad omen.

Also, one more thing. Quoting this from the CR wiki page on Ruidus:

"Some worry that rare double eclipses, where Catha and Ruidus simultaneously overlap the sun, cause the Material Plane and other planes to calamitously intersect."

The wiki page also mentions that Ruidus "sometimes glows or flashes at seemingly random times."

Anyways, where else have we heard about odd planar disturbances with no apparent source? Planerider Ryn, or rather the notes that Jester read when the party took refuge in the Fire Plane

"I continue to find an aberration in my data pertaining to Exandria, a cyclical, months-long, slow surge in low-level magical interference that then recedes just as slowly. Something that tangles my readings and upsets my analysis. It is too faint to identify the arcane nature at source, but I worry if this pertains to to the shifting between the veils. It could be something very interesting. Something very frightening. Very wonderful. More tests are required."

Maybe that something is the moon? Who knows ahshdhdgd

Taking my tinfoil hat off now lol

[starryingenue]

More like poetic and not pathetic! 💕

omg kyra i know this is you and i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for all of you who don’t know, kyra is the love of my life, the light of my life, my wife, my fiancée, my whole world, and most importantly my bro. she’s my best friend and if anything happened to her i would kill everyone in this room and then myself

psssssssst go follow her she’s @flourescent-bubbles

[epersonae]

from @veeagainsttheday in the comments:

1,5,8,15,24

1: Is writing cathartic or stressful for you?

Yes? Slash it depends? I love the framing of these two things as opposites, lol. It does depend a lot on the thing I'm writing and the frame of mind I'm in.

5: Share a snippet that you’re proud of from an upcoming fic/chapter.

Mary says, in their texts, too simple or not that serious or not that much of an artist — never mind about how the sharp lines of the trees feel like the careful distance between Stede and Mary in a photo, or the way that the curves of hills glow in the painting over Mary’s desk. The sketches in their progression of images and ideas, building one to the other, so that she can’t look away. But she doesn’t know Mary well enough, doesn’t have the right words for it. 

(this is one of the bits that benefited greatly from you pushing me about interiority, so thank you)

8: How do you develop your OCs?

Oh you are just coming for me, huh? I would say over the course of my fic writing, I rarely write OCs, but there are a couple of exceptions, and one (two?) of them is a character who has been in my head for almost six months. I was talking about her with some people over the weekend, and ended up with the description "three youtube videos and an architectural digest article in a trenchcoat", also "a vibes-based creature", which is sort of the two poles -- I have influences which I am careful about balancing, and then an overall sense of how I wanted the story to go, and how she fits into that story, and the kind of person who emerges from that combination is who she is. (all of this project has been about combining characters and people and finding a balance of the resulting amalgam, how much is "real" and how much is "fictional", how much is famous people and how much is people I have known and how much is honestly just me?)

my other main OC, from my TAZ days, is the half-orc who Ryn and I referred to as "our son" Kenneth, who was initially a plot device but then he got a character that we developed together, again thinking about what the story needed and the kind of character who was going to provide this pivotal moment. (And also Ryn wrote the most lovely reflective thing from his POV right after I left my ex, and it's one of the most meaningful things I have from that experience.)

15: Which fic that you’ve written relates to you and your personal life the most?

There's a lot of me in a lot of fics I've written. The bit I mentioned with Kenneth is just one of many little things in that fic that are deeply personal about that story. "She's survived the impossible before" and "you're here, so be here" are basically how I've gotten thru the last five years. (The series it's part of also gave me my first tattoo, which Ryn and I both got together in 2019.)

There's a TAZ fic that I wrote about Lucretia briefly erasing her own memory that is uhhhhhhhhh kinda close to the bone, emotionally; likewise there's a lot of Cool Trauma Stuff in the one I wrote about the years between the creation of the Relics and Year 99.

The AU where Izzy gets yeeted before Ed gets back to the Revenge has maybe the tightest description I've written of my immediate grief experience. My post-S1 fic, unfinished, has a lot of that too. And of course the impulse I had to write Hungry for love was the feeling that I knew exactly what was up with Stede as far as how much did he understand his feelings. (None, but also yes, which is a weird thing to try to write, but it's exactly how I was with Ryn until an IRL conversation that is a spooky mirror of Stede and Mary's talk.)

New Project has maybe more of me than I would have realized when I started, and I feel oddly exposed thinking about it lol.

24: Which fic of yours do you wish people would ask about more? Why?

I never know how to answer this question! I'm excited to get asked about anything, so it's always a delightful surprise, both the deep cuts from my old TAZ writing and my WIPs!

Fic ask game

1: Is writing cathartic or stressful for you?

2: Do you focus on attention to detail when you read fics? Are you more or less attention to detail focussed when you write fics?

3: Do you have any upcoming WIPs? How far along are you with them?

4: Tell me about one of your abandoned WIPs. Why did you abandon it?

5: Share a snippet that you’re proud of from an upcoming fic/chapter.

6: What are some topics you will never write about?

7: Were there any ideas you had for [insert fic] that you couldn’t make work? What were they?

8: How do you develop your OCs?

9: Are there any fics you’d love to see but don’t want to write yourself? What are they?

10: Who has been your favourite character to write about in [insert fic]? What do they bring to the fic?

11: Which OC of yours do you think is the most similar to you? Which OC is the most different? Why?

12: Why did you choose to write [insert fic]? How long have you been working on it?

13: Do you prefer writing multi-chapter fics or single-part fics? Do you prefer reading multi-chapter fics or single-part fics?

14: Do you think you would be friends with your OCs in [insert fic]?

15: Which fic that you’ve written relates to you and your personal life the most?

16: Do you stick to canon when you write characters and fics?

17: What has been the proudest moment for you so far since you started writing?

18: Do you feel like your work gets enough recognition? What kind of feedback do you like to receive?

19: 15 words to describe the aesthetic of [insert fic].

20: Which fic have you put the most work into? Which fic have you put the least work into?

21: If you were a character in [insert fic] where would you fit in?

22: Have you used any symbolism in [insert fic]? What does it represent?

23: What’s one piece of advice you would give to anyone who wants to start writing or posting their writing online?

24: Which fic of yours do you wish people would ask about more? Why?

25: If you could remove one character from [insert fic]’s universe, who would it be? Why?

[queen-scribbles]

Extremely 👀👀👀 moment in tLBT: Ryn will use Pan’s nickname but still doggedly insists on Liefred for Red.

I wonder why >:3

[ryndicate]

꘏ Meet the Writer ꘏

I go by Soryn, or Ryn, whichever you prefer! Likes/asks/comments will come from my main @darlingsanzu only mooties may call my Rynnie ;3

Short summary of me

I'm in my mid 20s, I work full time, and I am one of the most infrequently social person you'll ever meet. Despite that I am a very excitable and soft person and I love chatting about anything, but especially anime :3 My ask box is wide open!<3 also it is physically painful for me to not use some kind of smiley face :) I love them :D I want people to know I'm smiling >:) (painfully addicted to emojis and the use of 'lol' cant help myself)

THings you absolutely must note:

If we chat enough for me to give you my discord, you'll find that very often it takes me several days upwards of weeks to respond. i sweAr im not ignoring you---my social battery is just sad and recharging.

IF YOU SEE ME active on discord ((especially for hours at a time) and I'm not responding to messages, I am definitely gaming with my man. We play games together as quality time, and we're never tired of each other.

Other stuff

Watching: TR s2, KnY (Swordsmith village arc)

Watched: I had to make a list it was too long

Reading: Blue Lock, TokRev, Jujutsu Kaisen, Jigokuraku

Read: was gonna make a list but it wasn't long enough for a link. Csm is the only one I'm caught up with, and AoT and Wotakoi are the only manga I've finished lol. I did read TR but i read it too fast and didnt really retain it.

Manhwa/Webtoon: Under the Oak Tree, Isnelda, Let's play, Lore Olympus, Fly Me to the Moon, Moonrise by the Cliff, Finding Camelia (god i cant wait for next season), The Tainted Half, Lady Devil, My Dear Maid & The Losing Streak and so so many more.

Playing: sons of the forest, stardew (again again but this time with mods), project zomboid (yes again)

My Calendar&lt;3

likes: Michael Kaiser, sugar and sweets!, vampires, purple, cats, old libraries, candles, Genma's senbon, writing, baking, pringles, binge reading/watching, thefatrat, 4am, Kakashi, obsessing with the same song for 3 days straight before looking for a new one—cycle repeat, comfort blankets, painting my nails 5 different colors, high fantasy and angst!

dislikes: Michael Kaiser, hot tea (i need my iceee), being in cars, making themes, loud storms & heavy wind, artificial banana, prunes, vanilla scents, yelling, spiders, jump scares, red/orange/yellow, cheese curds, pretzels, dresses, starwars (oop), sore throats, bright neons, repetitive noises

MY FANDOMS AND THEIR BABY GIRLS

Trigun

Vash, Knives, Wolfewood

Tokyo Revengers

Sanzu, Hanma, Chifuyu, Shinichiro, Imaushi, Mikey, Draken, Rindou, Mitsuya, Takemitchi

Soul Eater 

Stein, Akane, Soul Evans

Jujutsu Kaisen

Gojo, Megumi, Sukuna, Choso, Itadori, Yuuta, Inumaki, Nanami

Jigokuraku

Gabimaru, Tenza, Chobei, Shion

My Hero Academia 

Touya, Bakugou, Shinso, Izuku, Kirishima, Mirio, Natsuo, Enji,  Aizawa, Iida

Naruto 

Kakashi, Genma, Itachi, Shisui, Jiraiya, Obito, Yamato, Kisame, Hidan

Hunter x Hunter 

Hisoka, Illumi, Ging, Uvogin, Chrollo, Phinks, Neferpitou, Knuckle

Haikyuu

Iwaizumi, Oikawa, Hanamaki, Matsukawa, Kita, Suna, Aran, Atsumu, Osamu, Tendou

Chainsaw Man 

Kishibe, Aki, Angel Devil, Yoshida, Denji

Blue Lock 

Kaiser, Oliver, Lorenzo, Ness, Noa, Kunigami, Gagamaru, Reo, Nagi, Rin, Sae, Shidou

Bleach 

Daddy Kurosaki, Daddy Ishida, Gin, Ulquiorra, Renji, Kensei, Shunsui

Black Clover

Yami, Fuegoleon, Zara, Nozel

Attack on Titan 

Zeke, Eren, Reiner, Porco, Jean, Conny

Honorable Mentions

Akaza, Tengen, Hantengu Clones, Kogami, Captain Obi, Thorkell, Alucard, Hector, Nishio, Kaneki

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Since I will probably never going around changing the border colors on my oneshots I will leave this little homage here for colors come and gone

October - December 2022

December 2022 - February 2023

Current

[captainderyn]

While I would be most enthusiastic about romancing Raenor, Ryn would be a really close second.

Raenor over here like ^^^ no but VERY good choices if I do say so myself lol 100/10 they would both have GREAT romance paths.

I mean who can say no to a handsome elf lad who wants nothing more than to write melodies and ballads about your love and support you to the very end? How beautiful that someone who has lived for hundreds of years has not become so apathetic to the world that he cannot still find wonder and beauty enough to love.

Not to mention our beloved Ryn, who will give her heart so fully to you that you’ll tell her to at least keep part of it for herself, that she cannot give herself so fully. And who makes it her mission to protect your back every step of the way and who’s unfailing loyalty is now yours so use it well ;—;

[garfinkelstingle]

i chose you | draco malfoy

pairing: draco malfoy x fem!reader (also mentioned past!theodore nott x reader, past!george weasley x reader and past!oc x reader)

warnings: none? at least i don’t think so lol. first time i didn’t use any swear words ha. kinda angst but with a very fluffly ending though!!

word count: 2.1k

summary: inspired by “pierre” by ryn weaver; reader has tried to find someone else to love, someone whom she wasn’t so afraid to lose, but in the end she always kept coming back to draco

a/n: hi!!!! yes!!!! so sorry i havent posted in literal ages but school is a pain and my bio exam is coming up and with all the stress i just havent been able to sit down and actually write :( but i got this idea last night and just had to put it down!!! not my best work but i’m happy with it nonetheless and hope u will be too <3 ALSO OMG WHAT I CANT BELIEVE THERES MORE THAN A HUNDRED PEOPLE FOLLOWING THIS BLOG AND READING MY STUFF ??? that is nothing if not absolutely wild

masterlist

She was currently in her seventh year, which meant that she had somehow managed to break the hearts of a total of three guys in the last three years. That had to be some kind of record.

The funny thing about all of this, though, was that through all of it her heart had remained untouched because the person it belonged to, who had every right to rip it into a million shreds, didn’t.

At first there had been Theodore Nott. It had made sense for the two of them to get together. They were both pureblood Slytherins, knowing each other from when they were children and would attend the same boring events their parents were adamant on throwing and dancing the night away in some hidden corner and laughing at the adults who got too drunk and started making fools of themselves.

It had been exactly the kind of relationship one was to except from two fifteen year old teenagers who had been friends since long before they even knew that there was such a thing as kissing with tongue: Messy and childish, with unnecessary fights breaking out all the time, her screaming at him to just give her space and let her breathe and him being jealous of the time she was spending with Draco Malfoy, time she should be spending with him, her boyfriend, instead.

Every time they fought they would ignore each other for a day or two and then just pretend like nothing happened, with him being just as clingy and her spending just as much time with Draco as she had before.

He had told her he loved her by Christmas and she had broken up with him less then three minutes later.

After that came George Weasley. Things were different with him. He was older than Theodore had been, and she was, too. She could see herself falling in love with him in another life, a life that didn’t have a certain platinum-haired boy in it.

She had wanted to try, had wanted to believe that maybe things could work out. For a while, they did. George made her happy, happier than anyone around her expected.

It was an odd match, truly, with him being goofy and sarcastic, trying to take life as lightly as possible and her being the embodiment of the Slytherin house, cold and hard and as closed off as one could be. But George tried with everything he could to make her laugh, told her the corniest jokes and used the cheesiest pick-up lines on her and for the first time in her life she had felt giddy. Being with him had brought out a side in her that nobody else had before, not even Draco, one where she would giggle when she found something funny, no matter how silly it was, and one where she would snort with laughter whenever her boyfriends twin made a remark about how he truly felt sorry that George had gotten all the ugly genes, not caring how embarrassing it might be.

She had prayed, every night, that she would wake up the next morning and be in love with him, the same way she had prayed that he would wake up and decide not to tell her he was. Because she knew he was, by the way his gaze lingered a little longer on her than usual, his eyes softening and mouth turning into a smile sweeter than honey. All she wanted was to slap that look off his face because she didn’t want this to end, not now, not ever, but she couldn’t lie to him, not like that, not when he didn’t deserve it, when all she wanted to do was love him. Maybe he knows, she thought. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t said it yet. Maybe he never will and we can just pretend forever and this happiness never has to end. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

But like expected, it didn’t last. She had cried that day harder than she ever had before. Not because her heart broke, because of course it didn’t. How could it when it was being held so tightly by someone else, someone who just wasn’t George? But seeing him hurt, watching his heart break, made her feel a sadness she never had before. A part of her had wanted for him to scream at her, to tell her that she was a terrible person and that he hated her, something, anything, to make her think that she had done the right thing, that she hadn’t just thrown away something good and right. Instead he smiled at her the saddest smile she had ever seen and pressed a kiss to her temple and told her “It’s alright” and Merlin did she hate him right now because why did he have to be so good?

She had vowed herself to stop at that, to not ever go through anything like that ever again and to never, ever, put anyone through that, either.

Then Pierre came and it’s like she had forgotten everything that had ever happened.

He was an exchange student from Durmstrang who was supposed to spend the first half of their seventh year with them and for some reason, she believed that he might be the one. Believed that Pierre, with his crooked nose and broken English, might be the one who might actually make her forget Draco, who might manage to take her icy little heart from him and melt it and make it his. A part of her believed that Pierre might actually be the very first person to break it and even though it should’ve, it didn’t scare her.

They had spent every waking moment together, aware that their time together would be short. He had told her that he loved her and held her tight when she told him that she couldn’t say it back, telling her that it was okay, that as long as she was by his side, he had everything he needed. It would’ve made so much sense had it been him.

He was funny and charming, rich and beautiful, kind and caring. And yet every time she looked at him she only noticed all the things that he wasn’t, compared to Draco.

And now here she was at the Astronomy Tower, thinking of no one else but the Slytherin boy, moments after breaking up with Pierre, someone who could’ve been it, someone who had to be it, because no matter how much she wanted it, he just never would be.

It had always been and always would be Draco.

Draco, who had been her closest friend from the moment the pair of them stepped on the Hogwarts Express for the very first time.

Draco, who had been her first kiss and first of everything else, who had taken up all the time before and after and in-between her boyfriends.

Draco, who has always been the person Y/N could run to whenever something or someone was bothering her, who would listen and give advice whenever he knew she needed some, who would rub soothing circles on her back and hold her while she cried.

Draco, who had told her he loved her and whom she loved back.

Draco, who had stayed by her side even after she had told him that she couldn’t be with him, not when it meant that she might lose him.

Draco, who was coming up the stairs now after hearing the news that Pierre, too, was nothing but history.

“It’s never going to work with any of them, you know?”

Of course she did. How could it possibly work when she was never fully in, when her heart would always and forever belong to someone else?

“It doesn’t hurt to try, does it?” she told him, turning her head to the side once he joined her at the railing, looking out at the beautiful night sky. He looked so exhausted and she couldn’t blame him, not when she knew that it was partially her fault. Maybe even mainly.

Exhaling, he carefully cupped her face with both hands, as if she was as delicate as porcelain and he was afraid that he might break her. “Every time I see you with someone, anyone, else, all I can think is how wrong it is because you should be with me. We both know that that’s where you belong, Y/N.” And he was right, really, truly, right.

He was the one and only person she belonged with, the only person she could ever imagine herself belonging with. Because at the end of the day, it didn’t matter how well she fitted with Theodore, or how happy George made her, or how perfect Pierre seemed to be.

None of them would ever be Draco. None of them would ever know the right thing to say when she was upset. None of them would ever know that her favourite Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Bean was, in fact, mint, even though she insisted that it was watermelon, simply because the fresh taste reminded her of him, the way everything else always seemed to.

None of them would ever understand how there was not a single soul more important and valuable to her than Draco, who knew all of her deepest and darkest secrets and still chose to stay by her side, someone who was so irreplaceable that the mere thought of maybe, someday, somehow losing him was just not something she even dared to think of.

That had been the reason why she told him that she couldn’t be with him all those years ago. Not because she didn’t want to, but because she knew herself. She knew she was a screw-up, knew that she would eventually find a way to push him away, to make him see that he could do so much better than her. That had never been something she worried about with anyone else, because she knew that none of it mattered anyways. She could lose every single person around her without giving it a second thought because as long as she had Draco, everything would be alright.

But losing him? That’s not something she would ever be okay with.

Seemingly having read her mind, he lowered his head until their foreheads were touching, still softly cradling her face in his hands, the cool material of his rings on her cheeks sending a small shiver down her spine.

“You’re not going to lose me, Y/N. Not ever.” he reassured her, giving her a quick peck on the lips.

Tears began streaming down her face and she wasn’t even sure why. Was it because she was touched by his words? Or because she so desperately wanted them to be true but knew that they might not be, that that might not be a promise Draco could keep? Or maybe the fact that she broke up with her boyfriend finally caught up with her, even though she was highly suspicious of that being the case.

“You can’t know that for sure.” she whispered, grasping his wrists and holding on for dear life. “What if you realise that you have to? That you can’t stay?”

Wiping the tears off her face, he gave her a sad smile. “Do you know how much it hurt to watch you with them? All of them? Wishing that it would be me, knowing that it should be? I could have left, could have told you that it was too much, that I was done, but I knew, I always knew, that at the end of the day, eventually, you’d choose me because I chose you. I chose you that very first day on the train and I’ve been choosing you every day since.”

Wrapping her arms around his neck she pulled him in for a passionate kiss that was equal parts messy and hungry, the taste of her salty tears mixing with the fresh taste of the breath-mints that were almost as much a part of him as she was.

There would never be a day where she wouldn’t be terrified of losing him, but pulling away she looked him in the eyes and said the one thing she had heard far too many times by far too many people and never had the guts to say back.

“I love you, too.”