#(flower language means absolutely nothing to me either if you were asking)

[greypetrel]

(resisting the urge to not say "i'm not calling you a liar" for Raina LOL)

Maybe "This is as good a place to fall as any" for anyone who fits for Radha, or anyone else who fits? c:

Hello Laya!

Thank you for asking and LOL that song for Raina would have been so funny. x°D

This got me thinking. As previously said, I’m all for Solavellan when it’s platonic, not much when it’s romantic. But, Bedroom Hymns was undeniably romantic, and I couldn’t find one way to decline it as platonic (I TRIED). Thinking and rethinking about how to make myself like Solas as a romance enough to write something convincing unlocked me, tho!  I tried, let me see how it went, it was out of my comfort zone, but I hope it’s convincing enough.

And for the record, this is the book I followed. Some names are adapted to Dragon Age of course (Arbor Vitae sounded so similar to Arbor Blessing that I just put that. And “Virginian Spiderwort”… I put the name of a random city in the Free Marches. Also, Tevinter Plum is Indian Plum, with a VERY rough assignation.)

Tis the prompt list

Floriography

[ “This is as good a place to fall as any” ]

This is his body This is his love Such selfish prayers And I can't get enough Bedroom Hymns - Florence + the Machine

Radha observed Josephine with the air of a person that firmly believed she was being made a fool out of.

“Oh, come on.” The ambassador laughed. “Don’t make that face, it’s just a coded language like any other Leliana taught you!”

“Except assigning meanings to flowers makes no sense. Why should a Pansy mean thought?”

“It means I think of you. And I don’t know, maybe because it’s such a pretty flower?”

Radha watched Josephine fix the bouquet in front of her with care, a smile she couldn’t contain on her lips and in her eyes. She looked happy, and even if Radha knew who sent those flowers and was burning to tell her that Blackwall was hiding something, and to watch out… Whatever made her smile like that couldn’t be all that bad, she considered. She could attach meaning to those flowers, if she wanted, it really hurt no one, as much as a nonsensical way of communicating that was.

“If you say so.” She shrugged in the end, not convinced.

“I think it’s sweet.” Josie kept on, and turned her smile to her  in a way Radha didn’t like. “Wouldn’t you like for Solas to gift you flowers as well, and know he meant something with each one he chose?”

The elf groaned in all answer, rolling her eyes to the ceiling of the office. It was far too silly for her, and as Josephine laughed at the display, she smiled back at the woman and wove a goodbye, turning back and leaving her to attach whatever set of words she wanted to the plants she received.

She crossed the Great Hall, headed to the library, and the thought still stuck, picking at her curiosity all the more because she couldn’t really understand the purpose of it.

She was there when Ydun filled the aravel she and Aisling shared with field flowers, once her sister complained the other never did anything spontaneous. She was there to help Aisling  and her girlfriend clean the damn flowers out of the cart, which took the three of them hours of work, and a big question on what to do with all those flowers.

It had been silly and uncomfortable, and even Aisling had agreed that maybe picking flowers wasn’t that nice. That they were nicer growing in fields, instead of dead just for a fleeting moment of beauty.

That had settled the flower matter, for Radha, and she told Solas right away that if he really wanted to court her, beside not entering her dreams uninvited ever again, not to gift her flowers. And he had listened on both things.

But now, working with Leliana on how to circle the Templar blockade in the Emprise du Lion, reviewing reports and trying to concoct a safe way around the main pathway that could lead an armed group into Sahrnia off track, without having them trapped in the snow… The thought kept bugging her most annoyingly.

So annoyingly than when they were finished for the day, after she checked that Aisling and Dorian weren’t planning on setting themselves on fire or make something else explode that afternoon, she started shuffling the bookshelves until she found… ah.

Floriography.

There was a whole book about it, and it was fairly thick. Surprisingly thick.

Shuffling through pages, she discovered it contained pages upon pages with pictures of every single flower and plant, with instructions on how to recognise the wanted variety precisely, curiosities and other uses. Beside a dictionary of associations, ordered one by flower, one by meaning.

Radha wondered why it wasn’t just a book of botany and nothing more.

But, curious as she always was when meeting something new to learn, she placed herself on her spot on the couch in the rotunda, and started to read. With a grudge, and fully intending to disprove that silly method and silly book.

“I thought you weren’t the type for flowers.”

A known, dear voice chuckles over her, coming to sit beside her some minutes after.

She huffed, settling better to get in contact with him, allowing Solas to hug her shoulders and peek on the page she had opened on her bent thighs, as she kept on reading.

“This language is stupid.”

“Is it? I think it’s a clever way to communicate in an environment where being open is socially frowned upon.”

“Bah.”

She scoffed, not convinced, and turned the page.

“A rose changes its meaning according to the colour. It makes no sense.”

“A letter can stand for two different sounds as well, making equally little sense.”

Radha huffed through the nose, shaking her head. Not convinced at all. Solas chuckled some more, and bent to press a kiss on the side of her head.

“Would you like to try?”

She turned to him, raising one eyebrow in a silent and very disappointed question that, apparently, just amused him more.

“Just to see if it makes sense in the end, or if it’s fun.”

“Crittography is fun and doesn’t require the death of a plant.”

“It’s far less beautiful, tho.” He countered. “The brief time a flower is allowed to bloom adds to its meaning. Even if its life is brief, it’s not less precious. All the more so for it. And the sentiment attached keeps on even if the petals wilts. I find it quite poetic.”

Radha shrugged, seeing the point of his words but not fully agreeing with it. She settled herself more comfortably against his side. If he was in a mood for explanations and reading and not for painting, it was fine with her. Aisling had rubbed off her too much for Radha to not have picked up that love was in touch.

 A slender arm clutched her closer, another kiss made her lips curve up in a smile, and she turned another page, deciding she may as well indulge him. If not just to prove it wrong. It didn’t work for Cullen and Aisling, she didn’t see why it should work for her. But if he wanted to try…

“As you wish.”

“I will think of something.”

She shrugged it off, and went on reading, trying to figure out if the whole thing had some sense upon it. But no matter how much she read, she just couldn’t figure out how one person could look at a bush of lavender and think of Distrust.

---

Radha found the first flower three days later, early in the morning when she walked out from her room.

On the ledge of the half wall, just in front of her door, he left her the Floriography book. In its pages he firmed the stalk of the first flower, shining white against the dark of the stone, tiny flowerets gently moving in the breeze that swept the Keep. She conceded herself half a smile, just for the care he took to leave her the guide as well. Shuffling through the pages, it was easy to find the flower she needed. It was a fairly common bloom and she of course knew its name well.

Lily of the Valley: Return of Happiness.

She rolled her eyes to the sky, but kept smiling, as she gently smelled the flower.

Silly and sappy.

She needed to find just the right answer. She was early anyway, she could spend ten minutes finding for something on the damn book.

Facing Aisling and asking her if she could please summon a very specific flower she had but a picture of in a book was another story. She hated to ask, and she knew that of her siblings, the one truly skilled with Creation magic was, without a hint of a doubt, Pavyn. But, she didn’t really trust other mages on such a personal matter, their brother was miles and miles away, and Aisling would have had to do. Even if she smirked with a horribly knowing smile at her. Saying nothing, and at the same time saying everything.

Radha groaned at it, Aisling laughed, and she gave her the flower she had asked anyway, telling her to come anytime for the next. This looked like an important mission, and had the priority, surely.

The flower was left on his desk right after, during lunch.

Ostwick Spiderwort: Momentary Happiness.

Because she was playing the game, but she was playing to prove it silly.

They went on for days, leaving flowers to each other back and forth, in places each one knew the other would have found it and know whom it was from.

When they met, they never spoke about them, of course: the fun was in the secrecy of it, and talking about the flowers would have broken the game.

Solas left her a White Periwinkle: Pleasures of Memory.

Radha shook her head and oomphed, found just the right flower, and pushed Aisling to create it anyway even if she disagreed with her choice of proving a point.

“Can I at least tell him I disagree with-”

“No, Shrimp.”

“Oomph.”

Tevinter Plum, for Privation.

He didn’t say anything, but looked at her funny that evening, raising just one eyebrow as he saw her, in a silent question. She rose one of her own, challenging him to say something. He smiled under his breath and spoke of something else.

The next morning, there was a jonquil in a small glass jar on her spot at Leliana’s table. Leliana smirked knowingly, but all she had to say at the third time she looked at the plant – just to check the jar wasn’t staining the map it rested upon, of course- was:

“It means ‘I desire a return of affection’.”

Radha groaned and urged everyone -who was horribly giggling at her, to get back to work, they had no time to lose in silliness and flowers.

She wasn’t ready to give in so early, so her choice was, and at that Aisling giggled in mirth. Not that Radha minded.

A Lady’s slipper: Win me and wear me.

To which the answer was quick:

Saffron Crocus: Mirth.

Radha smiled at it, and mirth was what she felt. Before the cook saw her with that particular flower in her hand and yelped, asking her where did she found it and if there were others, if there were enough they could have saffron for free and-

Flowers were dangerous, Radha decided, running for her -and mostly for Solas’ life from an overeager cook that would have demanded the mage to grow her a field of crocuses daily, if she had caught her and coaxed a name out of her.

The next flower, she found it herself in the garden, growing spontaneously in the meadows. A fitting answer, she thought, returning to the rotunda just to slip it behind his ear, with a briskness that masked some shyness out of inexperience. He turned, and she was out of the opposite door with just a glance of pink cheeks.

Wild Daisy: I will think of it.

When she finished with her training, patting dust away from her trousers after the Iron Bull threw her to the ground the fifth times as she was distracted by parrying Krem’s sword, his answer was in the scabbard of one of her daggers. For all she blamed this stupid flower thing for being silly and pointless -and it was silly and pointless and a waste of magic- the small twig with red lantern-like fruits brought a smile to her face, and made her forget that her back was sore and she fell badly on her shoulder.

Gooseberry: Anticipation

The game continued in the next days, and keeping a straight face when they were together became more difficult.

Radha thought she had a good control over herself: she wasn’t emotional in the way Aisling was, bursting into tears and smiling wide so everyone could partake in her emotions as well. She felt hers, but always kept them private. This new thing, tho, the expectation of seeing the hint of a coloured petal or of a leaf every way she turned, made her silly.

Her lips curled up in a smile almost automatically when she caught a glimpse of Solas, in a way she found silly and blamed herself for it. It happened to others, it happened to Aisling and Pavyn and Vyrina: it didn’t happen to her. It never did, and she wasn’t interested in having it happen. She was happy as she was.

And yet, seeing him smile back, something melting in his face, posture relaxing ever so slightly, took some of the disappointment away from her.

She left him a sprig of mezereon: Desire to please.

He answered with a white mignonette: Your qualities surpass your charme.

She was happy that he left it in her room, so nobody could see her blush. He wasn’t scarce in compliments, but she wasn’t really good at receiving them. Less of all in replying it: it felt… Too much, too soon, and she didn’t know what she should do.

After hours and hours of mulling it over, thinking if she was ready to be more direct and give a compliment back -he knew she admired him, what more could he want? Courtship was stupid. She decided that maybe not. She also decided that asking Aisling would have been a terrible idea if she didn’t want her sister to arrange with Leliana and Josephine a way to close them both in the same room with candles and rose petals and a chocolate cake so big no couple of living beings could ever dream of eating on their own… she may as well just offer him some sincerity back.

That would have worked better than Aisling setting them up, surely.

Amaryllis: Timidity.

She stayed the whole morning on pins and needles, uneasiness settling in the depth of her stomach in a way that was familiar of every time someone had requested something physical or emotional from her, and she just… Hadn’t it in her, and was made to feel in defect because in the field of love she wasn’t interested… Or in this case, when she surprisingly found herself interested, she needed to proceed slow.

He didn’t make her wait, tho: his answer was waiting for her in the war room, where she was expected for a recollection of the official plan to gather an entrance in the Emprise and Leliana had requested her presence.

A ceramic glass, stained with paint on the border -one of those he used for water when he painted, she knew- with clean water and a sprig of Evergreen Thorn, heavy with firey red berries.

Solace in adversity.

A consolation, and an acceptance. Aisling and Josephine looked at her, seeing the twig. Josie was worried, knowing probably the meaning of it, and asked her if everything was all right.

“Yes.” She answered. “Yes, it is.”

And she was fully sincere in her words.

The answer was fairly easy to find: it was Aisling’s favourite after forget-me-not, and it felt like a witty remark.

A tiger-lily on the top of his scaffolding, in the same glass: For once may pride befriend me.

She was up in the first story of the library, in the corner beside Aisling and Dorian to see his reaction. He turned the flower in his long fingers, and he heard him chuckle, as she had intended him to. He turned towards the nook with a sly smile, caught her eyes.

She felt the shiver of magic and the smell of ozone, and the next thing was something velvety and delicate caressing her right cheek. She startled to the side, thinking of something evil, for to her right there was just stone wall.

It was no demon what met her, but a single flower growing between two stones, and what velvety touched her was its leaf, spiky and sharp beneath delicate rosy and purple flowers.

“Can you go elsewhere before I puke with all this sappiness, please?” Dorian complained, groaning aloud.

“Hush, you!” Aisling giggled, swatting his arm aloud. “They’re cute, leave them be.”

“They’re getting sappier than you and Cullen, and I’m getting diabetes. Too much straight energy for me.” He groaned aloud, as if he was in pain, and let his bust fall heavily back, a wrist on his forehead for added dramatics. “I think I may die.”

Aisling hoomphed under his weight, collapsing back a little in surprise. A pile of books fell down under their combined weight, but they went on bickering about Radha one moment, their experiment the next. In the meanwhile, Radha had found which flower it was, and what did it mean. She snorted a laugh.

Oak leaved geranium: True friendship.

“See? Sappier by the minute, I swear!”

“Leave her be!”

It was, all in all, a nice afternoon full of laughter. And in all sincerity, all Radha could answer was but one flower.

Saffron Crocus: mirth.

It went on for some days more, and Radha slowly and carefully had to admit, if only to herself, that it was indeed amusing to go back and forth that way. No words, no grand declarations nor speech. Just colourful messages, well thought for their synthesis, to the point.

A bellflower in her glass, at breakfast: Gratitude.

Corn straw, deftly braided, between his quills: Agreement.

And then, after a day, when Radha was thinking he had stopped, they got through with it and had their fun but there was only so much they could tell each other through flowers -not thinking that she spent the day looking this way and that expecting a petal, a splash of colour in her field of vision… Another one that left her unsettled.

He had asked her if he could leave a couple of books he had meant to lend her directly in her room, instead of leaving them in the rookery where she was, and let her bring them back herself. She paid it little mind and told him yes, and in the evening, when she returned, there wasn’t just the four volumes of history on her desk. No.

There was a flower on her pillow, bright and colourful on the white of the sheets.

Ranunculus: You are radiant with charms.

Radha felt her breath grow short, the blow stronger this second time around, and she wondered if it was normal. She didn’t like this romance thing, she always felt like she was dancing without knowing the steps nor what he expected from her. This compliment thing… It left her uneasy and terribly, horribly seen.

Was it so bad, this insistence and being seen? Yes. But maybe… She didn’t mind being seen by Aisling, but Aisling had ways that were more delicate, and didn’t put a mirror in her face. This… A rational part in her calmly acknowledged that it was courtship, every animal did it. Birds flaunting coloured feathers to attract the female, hallas fighting for the same reason. Bonding gifts served the same purpose. Reproduction as the end goal. But this wasn’t that. She’s been clear that she wasn’t interested in that, she didn’t want children of her own, and she didn’t know if she would have ever been willing to try more intimacy than kisses. She never had the urge before, after all. He had been understanding and told her he didn’t mind it, he was happy with just whatever she had to give, and wouldn’t have asked for more.

It was the companionship, what she didn’t expect. It was the gratuitous appreciation of what she was, not what she could do, her qualities and skills. The way he listened to her and asked her opinion after long, long explanations, and seemed to value each and every of her words, remembered what she told and interpreted her ways for what they were, appreciated them. It was the smile he had just for her and the tender way his eyes would melt.

It was how her heart beat fast and how her mind could, if she tried, figure out the exact way he would have said “You are radiant with charms”, and how it made her horribly dizzy.

She prayed Aisling was in her room and was alone -she couldn’t face Cullen on this. Creators, asking one person was a lot.

Luckily, she was there and she was alone -made a weird face when Radha confessed she didn’t expect her to be, but was quick in changing the topic. In a way that told her that she didn’t want to talk about it, but still. They sat together on her bad, legs crossed, with all the curtains of the canopy drawn, it almost felt like an aravel: Radha spoke and Aisling listened with attention.

“It’s scary, isn’t it?” She asked in the end, an understanding smile on her face as she cupped her face to look at her in the eyes.

“What?”

“Falling.”

Radha glomped down. Was that it? Was it? All the fuss, all the chasing and sighing, all the novels and poetry, for this? For feeling dizzy and unsure? She didn’t like it. She didn’t like it at all, but something clicked true in her.

She nodded, feeling herself blushing madly.

“Yeah, I know, it’s shitty. Truly horrible.” Aisling agreed, moving forward and dragging her bust down to hug her shoulder, collecting the rogue against her frame. “It’s ok, tho. You can cut the game any time, there’s no obligation to answer. You already told him that you were shy, it’s ok. He won’t insist if you don’t want him to.”

Radha hummed, knowing she was right. It wasn’t anything serious, this game of theirs, anyway. The experiment had proven its point, she could call it out whenever she wanted.

And yet, that ranunculus…

“And- What if I wanted to?” She squeezed her eyes shut and drowned her face in the crook of Aisling’s neck.

Fingers started to thread in her hair, caressing and soothing, a kiss pressed on her cheek.

“Well, then. If you wanted to… You can be sincere about why you don’t want to reply. What about it?” Aisling asked. “Is there another flower for shyness?”

There was, they discovered after running all the way down to Radha’s room and the book. And checking also what Dandelion meant now because Aisling decided she may as well try it too, and “Cullen is definitely a dandelion”. She was very disappointed when she discovered that Dandelions meant “Rustic oracle” (“What does that even mean?? It makes no sense!” and Radha couldn’t but agree). But they found one for her as well, and it was with a sigh to get some courage, that she left it on his desk, very early in the morning.

Peony: Bashfulness, shame.

As embarrassing as it was, that was what she felt.

Waiting for an answer, after all, was still better than dreading answering in the first place. She had work to distract herself with and… Was that Cullen with a crown of dandelions on his head the one Varric and Sera were whistling at?

She had work to distract herself with.

The answer came soon enough, thankfully, and it calmed her down considerably.

A twig with leaves of white poplar: Time.

She smiled at it, relieved in her anxieties. The perfect answer, really, and she felt silly, now, for doubting him so. He gave her time, and time was what she needed. With a fuller heart and a calmer mind, and more faith in the future, she gently pressed one of the leaves in her notebook, as a keepsake, and went on with her day.

Her answer was a columbine: Foolishness.

She felt a little foolish for worrying so, truth to be told, and if sincerity paid off… Why not keeping up? Maybe it would have brought something else of good, while she tried to unwind the ball of yarn her feelings and thoughts got wound up into.

She had time, yes.

The next one was another leaf. One she knew fairly well, and which spoke thankfully more of him than on her.

Arbor Blessing: Unchanging friendship. Live for me.

Radha knew, turning the trail in her hand and rubbing the leaves between two fingers to release the balsamic perfume of them. Surely he meant just the first meaning of it. He was the first one to say she should pursue other interests and friendships that weren’t him. With a dedication she didn’t really understand.

That little slip tho… That little inattention, finding something with a meaning so contrary to whatever he ever told her.

Maybe he was equally bashful about this whole endeavour. Thinking of it, he always spoke of her and her qualities, what he saw in her. Never of what he himself was feeling more deeply than expressing friendship. Before this one. This one little slip that…

Maybe she was reading too much into it. But he was always so precise and careful, measuring his words with such attention, that Radha found hard to believe that he just read half the definition.

Weirdly enough, that little slip made her heart beat, but not with the anxiety of those days before. No. This time it was tenderness, and recognition.

If he was bashful too… Maybe she really had nothing to fear.

Maybe she already had fallen, and she didn’t realise she already landed.

Beside, her mother didn’t raise a quitter.

So, she marched to Aisling and asked her one last flower. This time, knowing perfectly well what she wanted.

The next morning, Solas found a thin vase on his desk, in a corner as if it had been always been there.

Inside, sprouting tall and proud, one single purple lily.

First emotion of love.

Radha, that evening, got back into her room to find not one flower, but a full bouquet. It was just one bloom, and it filled the room with a pleasant, sweet perfume.

Lily of the valley: Return of happiness.

She smiled wide, didn’t mind he entered her room without asking, and let her treacherous heart keep her awake for long, that evening.

Enjoying the sweet smell of lily of the valleys for the brief and precious moment while it lasted, and maybe understanding a little better why people gifted flowers.

Why Lavender meant Distrust, tho, she never understood.

[yuulettte]

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝, 𝐁𝐨𝐝𝐲, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥

[𝐘𝐮𝐭𝐚 𝐎𝐤𝐤𝐨𝐭𝐬𝐮 𝐗 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫] [𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐃𝐚𝐲]

"In a world where I could lose you at any moment, I want to make tonight count. So please, give all of yourself to me. For I love you purely. My mind, my body, my soul. All of it belongs to you."

✰Rating: NSFW 18+ MDNI

✰Summary: It's Valentines Day, and your long term boyfriend Yuta Okkotsu would like to take you out on the best date of your life. Just what sort of surprises could he have in store for you?

✰W/C: 5.2k

✰C/W: Oral(Fem! Receiving), Hotel Sex, Teasing, Flower Language, Marriage Proposal, Mostly fluff with a small bit of smut + hurt/comfort at the end

✰A/N: Happy Valentines Day!!! Yuta is aged up to be in his early to mid 20's, sometime after High School. Now do enjoy Yuta being an absolute love sick fool of a boyfriend. Read the 'extra notes' at the end for flower meanings.

"That was so good~" you sighed, sinking into the passenger seat of the car your boyfriend had rented for the night.

In pure honesty, you didn't even know he could drive until earlier that evening. When he'd covered your eyes with both of his hands, your ears tingling at the sounds of his tiny giggles as he led you outside your shared apartment.

"Happy Valentine's Day, my love."

The phrase was said in the same gentle voice that you'd fallen for all those years ago when you were still a teenager. That same soft tone.

Your now unobstructed gaze fell onto him holding a bouquet of Red Tulips laced with Baby's Breath, a keychain dangling from his fingers. He handed the flowers to you sheepishly. Even after all this time of being together, Yuta's humble attitude never seemed to wane. He could buy you the world and still make a face that pleads, 'You deserve more'.

"I thought these would be more to your liking than red roses," he started to speak, reaching a delicate finger to trace along the petals of one of the vibrant flowers. "They have a similar meaning though." Tired eyes closed as a smile came to his features. Cheeks still dusted pink, he went to cup yours in his free hand. He'd done his research early into your relationship. What you liked, what you loved; even learning flower language for occasions like this. He spared no expense when it came to gifting you.

"They're perfect" came your response in the form of a hum, head tilting down to breathe in the pleasing aroma of the flowers. Only when you raised your face did you see the car parked behind him.

You had mentioned it about six months ago, how you'd love to go on long drives with him instead of using public transport.

"Sure, it's convenient enough.." You mumbled while you washed that night's dishes. "But imagine all the fun we could have if one of us owned a car! We could go out whenever we want, wherever we want. Like to the ocean!"

It was well known amongst all of your peers that you were rather spontaneous. Always groaning at the fact you had to ask permission before leaving campus. Even now that you were far more mature and grown, you still had that streak in you. Yuta, of course, adored it. Something that had intimidated him during your friendship had become refreshing as the years rolled by. Nothing was ever boring with you.

He followed the trail of your eyes behind him to the fancy looking vehicle. His hand went to the back of his neck as you squealed.

"You remembered!!!" Tears welled up in the corners of your eyes. Possibly from how wide you were smiling, or maybe it was excitement. But either way, your reaction was all the man needed to know he'd done his job.

"It's rented, but I figured it'd be fun?" He cocked his head to the side and you stood on your tippy toes to kiss his cheek. "It will be so. Fun." You emphasized your words with an exaggerated pause, and like the gentleman that he is, Yuta opened the passenger door for you to slide into the car.

The ride to your favorite restaurant was relaxing. Your fingers tapped at your phone screen to connect to the car’s bluetooth. Familiar music filled the small space as Yuta drove smoothly, causing you to smirk.

“How long have you even had your license for?” The question was playful but your boyfriend took it seriously, blinking a few times to think before replying.

“I got it right after my 18th birthday, Gojo said it would be useful in case I have more missions overseas.” He said while tapping his index finger on the steering wheel to the beat of one of the both of your favorite songs. “He actually gifted me a car that year too, but I returned it. How was I supposed to accept a present like that?”

The two of you laughed together at your teacher’s shenanigans. Though at times you wished Yuta to be a bit more selfish, you couldn’t deny this part of him was charming. You could vividly imagine him panicking at such an expensive gift, waving his hands and stuttering just like he would when you’d first met. The memory made warmth fill your chest as you watched him from your spot in the passenger seat.

During your first few months of knowing Yuta, the last thing you would’ve expected was for him to end up as your boyfriend of 5 years. He was timid and jumpy, but showed so much will to survive that it made you feel a bit overwhelmed. Maybe it’d started back then. The feeling in your stomach that slowly grew with time and eventually made its way to your heart. It was difficult to pinpoint when you’d fallen in love with him, but he spoke of it like it was the most grand realization.

“I woke up after Ieiri-san healed me from a difficult mission, and you were asleep sitting up, face down on the clinic bed by my legs.” He’d explained after confessing to you.

“I knew the moment you opened your eyes that I was in love with you.” He spoke that sentence without a single stutter. “I’ve.. probably felt this way for a long time before that though.” He smiled oh so gently, and then you knew you were a goner. Instantaneously, you felt yourself melt, and since that moment you’ve been his. In mind, body, and soul you became Yuta’s. Even the slightest touch now lingered, every breath he took became precious, and whatever words left his lips gained meaning. That sort of unbreakable connection; the bond that kept you up at night with both worry and excitement, made even the most hellish of missions bearable.

Because he’d be waiting for you afterwards.

The sound of his voice brought you back from your reminiscing, a smooth and clear chime you’d never grow tired of.

“We’re here, leave the flowers in the back and I’ll help you out.” With a click he pulled the keys from the ignition and got up from the front seat to open your door again for you. Hooking your arm in his, you laid your head on his shoulder for a moment. The familiar scent of his cologne on his shirt’s collar caused your skin to tingle as you walked arm in arm into the restaurant.

Once the two of you were seated you ran your hand across the velvety surface of the table cloth. Taking a moment to look down at the promise ring that decorated your left ring finger. Yuta’s gaze followed and a small smile came to his lips.

“I’ll give you an even better one someday soon, promise.” He mused before bringing your hand to his mouth to place a kiss upon your fingers.

“Womanizer~” You chided, earning a pout from him until you both started to giggle.

Your dinner was spent chatting about mundane things, mixed in with laughter and gazes that stuck for a bit too long. Yuta’s eyes always looked a tad tired. Even if you’d make him go to bed early, or bribe him into taking a nap with you, the dark circles that lined his lower lashes never diminished. Dark blue irises that occasionally almost showed black peered up at you while you ate your dish. Taking note of every tiny reaction with a sense of gratitude. How lucky he was to share moments like these with you. How blessed he was to be the man who had the honor of pampering you.

Teasing your boyfriend has been one of your favorite pastimes since high school. While thoughts of adoration and admiration filled his mind, yours was clouded with ideas on how to get him going during your dinner date. It was only fair. After all, your love was mutual. If he made your heart beat so fast with one upwards glance, then it was only right for you to give him the same treatment.

As the hour passed it was now time for dessert. Yuta wasn’t picky with food as long as it had a pleasing texture. Only learning to cook after the two of you moved in together so he could make your favorite meals. However you’d gotten him to take a liking to sweets by baking for him so often. He swears he’d have gained weight if it wasn’t for how physically demanding his work is.

So when the chocolate cake you ordered arrived, there were two slices instead of the usual one. Your eyes light up, because this was your shot. Full karmic payback.

Once the plates were set in front of the both of you, and Yuta had lifted his fork to take his first bite, you suddenly pulled the dish away with an innocent smile.

“I let you plan today completely on your own, so it’s my turn to spoil you a little in return.” You said sweetly, knowing there was no way he’d refuse. Yuta merely looked around the restaurant with a flushed face.

“Do you mean-” Cutting off his words, you lifted a forkful of cake up in front of his face and gestured for him to open his mouth.

“Just once? Please please please?” You dragged your words out to plead to him, his shoulders straightening at the sound of your voice before he let out a long sigh.

“Fine.. Just once” As he opened his mouth, you rejoiced in silent victory. His eyes closed, not having the gall to look at you during such an embarrassing exchange. It’d have been fine if you asked him to feed you, but this was.. Something he was not used to.

Sliding the dessert into his mouth you pulled the fork from his lips, watching intently as he chewed awkwardly. Satisfied with your payback, you licked the rest of the frosting from the back of the fork. The unintentionally erotic action earning an audible gulp from Yuta before you handed the utensil back to him.

He coughs a few times and reaches for his napkin, wiping the corners of his lips to get rid of the leftover chocolate. “Wasn’t so bad was it?” You said with a tilt of your head and a close eyed smile.

Now back in the car with your arms stretched upwards after humming your praise to the chef, you looked over to Yuta who adjusted his seatbelt a few times before checking yours as well.

“You don’t have to check me, you know” You sighed as he tugged at the belt, giving a satisfied hum after ensuring your safety. “I heard Utahime-Sensei say that improper car etiquette is just as dangerous as curses once though.” He mumbled through knitted brows. “I’m sure she just made that up..” And with that you began your drive home, or so you assumed.

After going past your apartment complex, you raised your eyebrows.

“Yuta, you missed our turn,” You began to say before he turned his head. Deep sea colored eyes that threatened to sink you met your own as he gave you a smile. “I know, just trust me” He spoke softly, reaching his right hand to grip your knee reassuringly.

And with a nod, you did. Watching as the city lights faded into the background of stars, Yuta rolled the windows down to let in the fresh nighttime air. You breathed in deeply and a familiar scent tickled your nose.

“The ocean..!” Your voice rose from the comfortable silence, eyes wide as you turned to stick your head out the window. And there it was, moonlight dancing off the top of the waves. “You seriously..” Swinging your head back around to look at him smiling stupidly, all you could do was laugh as you fully realized just how much this man loves you.

Your toes sunk into the cold sand after you tossed your dress shoes off to the side, your legs moving quickly to carry you to where the water kissed the land. Yuta followed after you, throwing his jacket onto the hood of the car to join you in dipping your toes into the cold winter water.

“It’s freezing!” You shivered and he laughed in response. “Of course it is, it’s February.”

Taking your hand in his, he walked with you along the shoreline. Thanking whatever God that’s out there for the weather being clear. The sea breeze blew his usually well kept raven hair to the side, offering a view you often only saw in the mornings. He was stunning.

Your body couldn’t seem to contain your affection, twisting to suddenly throw your arms over his shoulders and press your face into the side of his neck. “Thank you..” You mumbled the tiny phrase against his skin as he brought his hand to the small of your back.

“Anything for you.. If it was possible I’d find a way to gift you the sea” He spoke into your hair, breathing you in before reluctantly setting you down. “But there is something else I want to give you.”

He moved behind you, turning you to brush your hair away from your face, gently taking a swathe from both sides of your head. “I have more for you at home but I wanted to give this to you here..” Yuta clipped the two strands of your hair behind your head with a white bow, the sheer fabric decorated with pearls and lace.

“It fits you perfectly,” He hummed, pulling the dainty ribbon up by the end so you could see it from the corner of your eye. You weren’t able to speak. The red on your face must’ve been visible even in the moonlit lighting, because Yuta let out a chuckle while he ran his fingers through your hair.

The sound of his laughter sent electricity through you, forcing you to spin on your heel to face him. Your fists balled and you took a large breath in before shouting.

“Marry me!”

Shoulders raised to their highest point, gaze pinned directly onto him, you repeated your question that came out more as a demand.

“I don’t have a ring yet, and I know I’m not the one who is supposed to ask but..” Your eyes started to overflow, mimicking the movement of the seawater. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Yuta, please marry me!”

All he could do was open and close his mouth a few times. Eyes wide and watery just like yours. And then he reached into his pocket to pull out a small box.

“You beat me to it..” He laughed out through his tears. Opening the tiny box in his hand to reveal an elegant engagement ring. Slowly, he sunk down onto one knee and lifted it to you.

��I was so nervous.. I wanted to find the perfect timing but of course..” He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, his words stuttering. “Of course you’d ask before me”

“It’s only fair,” You sobbed out between giggles and sniffles. Reaching your hand down towards him so he could place his promise upon your finger, sliding the other ring you'd worn for the better of 4 years into his pocket. “You always go above and beyond.. I want to give it all back to you in return”

Your words weren’t helping his tears, his other knee giving out below him to fully kneel in front of you. “You don’t have to do anything, just stay by my side. I’ll give my everything to you.” Yuta pressed your knuckles to his lips to plant a kiss on each one. “My body, my mind, and my soul are yours. So I accept, let’s get married.”

With his declaration he stood, cupping both of your cheeks in shivering hands. He leaned down to kiss the side of your face, the corner of your eyes, the tip of your nose, and then finally your lips. It was soft, gentle, and passionate. It was Yuta.

“I’ll make tonight the best of your life, I swear to it” he muttered against your lips, his eyes looking at you with a sense of determination you’d only seen a couple of times.

The first was during the night parade of a hundred demons. The second was when you wished him luck before he left to train with Miguel. And the third was your first time. You felt your heartbeat quicken at record speed as he began to pull you back towards the car. Your pace lagged behind his, Yuta’s usual gentleness replaced with overwhelming desire as he swung you over his shoulder.

“W-Wait, Yuta!?” You squirmed around a bit to no avail, tilting down his back as he bent to pick up your shoes and his jacket that’d blown to the sand from the breeze. “Where are we going?? Don’t we have to go home?”

“I rented a hotel, it’s taken care of. Maki will get the mail for us in the morning” He spoke like he’d recited this conversation a million times in his own head. Placing you in your seat and buckling you in nicely. “Trust me.”

It was the same thing he’d told you before taking you here, but this time it was spoken with such an underlying tone of lust that it made you feel dizzy. The entire drive to the hotel was spent with your hand covering your mouth to stifle any noises while Yuta drew tight circles with his finger against your thigh.

“It’s beautiful..” You whispered, taking in the hotel room your now fiance had booked for the two of you. He put the flowers he’d bought you into a vase before setting down a bag he’d secretly packed and stowed in the back of the car.

“You really did plan everything out to perfection didn’t you?” He raised his head at your comment, giving you a shy smile. “This room was actually my second choice, the other one was fully booked” He sighed, unpacking a few items that you couldn’t see over the broadness of his shoulders.

“Hmm.. I’ll take a bath” Deciding it would be best to clean up while he was occupied, you began to walk towards the bathroom until you felt a pair of arms wrap around you from behind. “Wait..” His voice sounded small. “Let’s bathe together..”

There were moments when Yuta acted like his younger self, shy and unsure. The majority of those instances being with you. If you were upset with him, if he had to leave for a particularly long mission, if you were to take control in the bedroom. Or when he had a very specific want that he wasn’t 100% sure you’d like to fulfill. This time, it was bathing together.

“Ehhh? But shouldn’t we both get completely clean first?” You replied, trying to ignore the heat that began to pool between your thighs.

“I won’t try anything yet, I promise. I just don’t want to be apart from you” Yuta rested his chin on your shoulder, his words sincere enough to make you give in. You gave him the go ahead to run a warm bath, your hands going to start the long process that would be undressing yourself.

“Let me help with that too!” He called from the bathroom over the sound of running water, making you stifle a laugh. “Fine~”

You made your way to the tub, stopping beside Yuta who was kneeling in front of it to check the water temperature. “There, now stand still okay?” He told you with a smile, making away quickly with the distance between you.

Standing behind you, he slowly unzipped the back of your dress. The sound of the zipper making the tips of your ears turn red. One of his favorite parts about being intimate with you was the build up. You knew this very well. He’d take hours undressing you if you were patient enough. But he knew now wasn’t the time for that.

Letting you step out of the fabric that now pooled onto the bathroom tile, he reached his hand to undo the back of your bra in one swift motion. An impressive talent he’d acquired after years of experience with you. He placed the garment on the counter before moving on to the bow in your hair.

This was a new sensation, his fingers raking through your locks as he undid the bowl. You could hear his breath hitch, and immediately you knew it was going to be hard to hold back before getting out of the bath. A tiny giggle exited your lips, your hair now free from the confines of his gift.

“Ahh, it’s not fair..” Yuta groaned, tossing the ribbon to the side as he slid his hands down your body to find your panties. “Why do you have to be so..” Fingers hooking around the elastic of the waistband, he pulled them down your legs. “Enticing..?”

Now it was your turn to tremble. His words never failed to make a fire like pleasure burn deep within your core. A throbbing that only he could bring to your surface, as if he knew exactly what he was doing to you. It was possible that he did. He fought every urge within him to get back on the floor and worship your right then and there. Taking in a deep breath from between his teeth, he pulled his hands from your body and began to undress himself while you started to wet your hair.

You sat on the tiny stool in front of the shower head, humming the tune you’d listened to together earlier that night in the car.

“Stuck in your head?” He asked you, pulling up another seat from behind you as he started to aid in washing your hair. Nimble fingers massaging your scalp gently to lather you in suds before rinsing. “Mhm, it’s a good song after all”

Your voice shook at the end of your sentence, Yuta’s fingertips grazing along your spine and then back up to the nape of your neck. “Keep your word, Okkotsu” It was a stern warning. He let out a sigh in response, picking up a sponge to wash your back. “Thought I’d try my luck anyways”

It wasn’t long before the both of you were properly washed and submerged in the warmth of the bath water. Your head leaning back against his chest as you sat between his legs. The both of you were pressed quite tightly together, causing Yuta to let out a small whine at any movement. “I’m sorry..” He muttered when you shot him a look when he couldn’t help but grind into you. “It’s just.. A tight squeeze..”

“That’s why I told you to wait” You flicked his forehead softly which made him flinch. A tiny ping of guilt caused you to press a kiss to the spot, your hand running through his damp hair. “Shall we get out now?”

You swear to God you’ve never seen Yuta Okkotsu move faster in the entirety of the 6 years you’ve known him.

One of the benefits to dating someone as powerful as Yuta was his ability to learn and adapt quickly. He could easily memorize every movement, sound, and reaction he could elicit from you. The way you liked to be kissed, the places you enjoyed to be touched, and the manner of which you wanted him to please you all had their own separate dedicated category in his mind.

And it seemed he was using every last bit of it tonight as he pressed his naked form against yours. Hands gripping the sides of your hips while he moved his lips on your own. Tiny whimpers of his name leaving your mouth in between breaths, the feeling of complete and utter need within you was so strong that it made your eyes water.

“Please..” You breathed out against his kiss-swollen lips, “Touch me..”

“I’ve been wanting to since you pulled off that erotic stunt at dinner.” He groaned into your jaw before he kissed his way down your neck. The mention of your ‘revenge’ scheme caused you to flush from chest to ears, squirming as he planted his lips to your heartbeat.

Yuta’s hands came up from your hips to cup both of your breasts, gripping them firmly before rolling them in his palm. “I seriously can’t ever get enough of this” He sighed, taking his left hand away to replace it with his mouth. His tongue rolled against your freshly cleaned skin almost desperately. Flicking against your now hardened nipple with practiced expertise. He squeezed the other between his middle and forefinger to earn a high pitched moan from you. Your thighs pressed and rubbed together underneath him, head tilting back to serenade him in more of your praise.

“Ahhh.. Yuta.. Don’t stop, please? I love you.. I love you” You repeated those three words until your mind couldn’t string them together anymore. Hips rolling up to meet his abdomen with needy whines. His self restraint was crumbling with every mention of his name, gaze clouded over with an innate need to please you.

“I’m going to make you feel really good now, okay?” He raised his head to ask you for permission to go further, in which you quickly nodded. A smirk played across his lips as he kissed further down until you could feel his still slightly damp hair tickling your thighs.

“Fuck.. You’re so so beautiful, my love..” It was not often that Yuta cursed. The soothing tone of his voice mixed with the eroticism of his words made your hips twitch. “Every part of you.” He traced his finger up and down your damp slit, whining at the way you dripped and shivered under his touch.

Finally letting go of his last bit of self control, he dipped his head between your thighs to take a long lick from the bottom to the top of your pussy. Your all too familiar taste causing him to involuntarily moan against you. Immediately your hand reached down to curl your fingers in his dark hair, your hips moving to feel more of him.

He could tell that you weren’t in the mood to be teased tonight. And he wasn’t either. Here, and now, with your bare body and soul laid out before him, he wanted to bring you to the best peak you’d have yet to experience. Yuta pressed his face against you like a man who’d been starved, his nose bumping your clit as he slid his tongue to lap up and down your folds.

You wondered which one of you was making more noise. Your loud moaning or his lewd sounds of slurping mixed in with soft words of praise between moans? It was impossible to fully understand what he was saying verbally, but you could feel every bit of it. His fingers going to hold you open, wet muscle flicking softly against your clit before he took the sensitive pearl between his lips to gently suck on it.

“A-Ahh-! Wait, Yuta!” You squealed out, hips lifting off the bed to grind against his face while he rubbed his tongue against your most sensitive spot. The coil of pleasure in your lower stomach only seemed to tighten further as he looked up at you with half lidded eyes, groaning against your skin as if begging you to use him.

“Why are you, ahh~ so good at that?” You questioned with no reply, instead feeling the vibration of a chuckle on your cunt before he resumed his task of messily tonguing your pussy. Your eyes squeeze shut as you steadily felt yourself grow closer and closer to finish. Yuta swirled his tongue around inside of you before flicking it back out again to repeat the same motion on your clit. The action caused your thighs to shake, your head falling back on the pillow again as your hands tightened further in his hair.

“Here..?” He mumbled to himself, tilting his jaw to press the flat of his tongue against your clit to press down on it before giving you more soft kitten licks. Of course, all of his assumptions were proved correct. Your thighs pressed tightly to his cheeks, the sticky sounds from you juices coating his chin only getting louder as you whined and whimpered.

He took his hands to wrap around your thighs, holding you tightly against his tongue. “Look at me,” he said your name at the end of his command. Your head snapping forward instinctively. “Let it out, it’s okay” You almost finished right then and there, cursing him silently as you were unable to form any coherent words at the moment. To say such a thing, while doing such a thing, and holding eye contact. No one had guts like him.

“Make a mess of me, I’m yours.” And with that final sentence, and a hard suck to your clit you came undone under Yuta like you never had before. You felt your entire body tense before relaxing all at once as you spilled into his mouth and down his chin. Your thighs shook violently, the only sounds you could make were of his name mixed with breathy moans. Throbbing between his lips, he suckled on you gently to coax you through your orgasm, his hips moving into the bed in time with your movements. He swears he’s covered in pre.

Finally Yuta lets go of you with a pop from his lips, lapping up the remainder of your juices from your thighs in an attempt to clean you. He raises his head from between your legs to give you his classic shy smile, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and then proceeding to lick his fingers clean. “Was that okay?” He asked sheepishly, and all you could do was whimper in response.

“I swear to God, I’m going to get back at you for that tomorrow morning..” You mumbled out with your head laying on his chest, both of your body’s much too exhausted to continue any further for tonight. “You make it sound as though I did something wrong” He laughed, running his hand up and down your back in a soothing motion.

“You’ve grown so much.” A sudden wave of sentimentality washed over you as you brushed his hair away from his face with your fingers. “You’re speaking as if I’m a child” Yuta closed his eyes to lean into your touch, turning his head to place a kiss on your palm. “But you have too. We both have.”

The two of you laid in the soft comfort of the hotel bed, speaking of the future in a way you were both too timid to approach before. Words of a new home, a possible switch in professions, new pets, a happy life. “I really never imagined a day where I’d have this.” He said quietly, staring up at the ceiling with an expression of deep thought.

“I’m actually going to get married..” The sentence left his lips before his eyes went to a ring that didn’t belong to either of you, sitting on the living space table. “She’d be happy for you.”

Your voice came to him with words he needed more than oxygen itself.

“You’re right.” He whispered, a smile coming to his face as a few tears dripped down his cheek. “She would.”

Extra Notes: The meaning of the flowers written about are;

Red Tulips: Passion, love, and lust (yes, he was intentionally slick with this LMAO)

Baby's Breath: Sincerity, hope, and new beginnings (It is often used in wedding bouquets!)

[starsinthesky5]

you belong with me III || joe burrow x reader

description: when date night ends with something more than just a goodnight kiss ;)

a/n: first off, can we talk about how delicious joe looks when he wears this specific jersey. it’s literally causing me to spiral. i can't. he’s so fine

anyway, welcome to part 3! yall have shown this little mini series so much love and it’s given me some great inspo to write a little more! i really love writing these fics <3 this turned out to be a lot longer then what I thought off which might explain why i struggled to finish it lol 

warnings: language, smut

word count: 11.6 k

part 1 part 2

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December

You and Joe have been dating for a few weeks now, and things couldn’t be going more perfectly for you both. Ever since your confession on Joe’s birthday, you both had been more attached at the hip than usual, but neither of you was complaining. Nothing really changed in the way you were acting around each other, everything pretty much stayed the same--other than the constant kissing & extra flirty conversations--which was another indication that you were already acting like a couple long before you made it official.

“Joeeee, come back over here I’m cold,” you whined as you looked up from the couch, watching Joe as he warmed up a bowl of popcorn.

“Just a sec, Baby,” he said as he pulled out two cans of Sprite from your fridge. 

Baby. You blushed at the pet name, which was becoming increasingly common for you two. If you had told your freshman year Ohio State self that her best friend, Joe Burrow, would be in her apartment warming up a bowl of popcorn for them to watch the latest episode of ‘Love Island’ together, and was calling her Baby, she would for sure punch you in the face for lying. But the sweetest part was, you wouldn’t be lying because it was reality. 

A few moments later, he walked over with the snacks, placing them on your coffee table and plopping down on the couch next to you. 

“I can’t believe you have me watching trashy reality TV,” he laughs as he wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his chest. 

“Honestly, me either,” you giggle, kissing his neck. “But I love hearing your commentary,”.

He lets out a chuckle and says, “Thanks, but I mean, these people are wildin’. If you’re actually looking for love, you would never go on a dating show because that shit will never end right,”.

“Oh for sure,” you nod, grabbing some popcorn.

“Like what happened to being a genuine friend? These girls just steal each other’s man like it’s nothing and the guys are absolute airheads and go along with it,” Joe expresses, taking it a little too seriously. 

“Calm down, Joe,” you giggle. “Remember, we watch for the entertainment value not for the ethics,” you say as you rub his arm.

He lets out a sigh and then grabs a handful of popcorn, stuffing his face with the buttery snack. “I just think these people really don’t know real love when they see it,”.

“Luckily, we aren’t them,” you smile, grabbing his hand and pressing a soft kiss to the back of his palm. 

“Ohhh yeah,” he says, moving his other arm around your leg, gently sliding his hand up and down your calf. “I have real love and I am never letting go of it,”.

“You better not,” you tease, moving your head up and pressing a few kisses to his lips, tasting the buttery popcorn on them. 

“We still good for tomorrow night?” he asks, referring to the little date night he had planned at his house. 

“Mhm, I can’t wait to see what you have planned,” you say as you grab some more popcorn. 

“I think you’ll love it,” he smirks, pressing soft kisses all over your forehead. He had decorated his backyard with fairy lights, making sure to hang them all around his patio set up so that there was no darkness in sight. He had bought your favorite flowers and decorated his backyard with them, got his chef to prepare all your favorite foods, and even got you a little gift. 

He had his jeweler custom make you a ring that had your birthstones in an alternating pattern all around the ring with diamonds in between each stone. The ring was kind of like a promise ring, but mostly something that he got for you to show that you were it for him. Even though it was way too early to think about that, Joe could envision spending the rest of his life with you. So it was kind of like a mini engagement ring, just without the whole marriage detail, for now. 

“What should I wear? Something laid back orrrr..” you ask.

“Wear what you want to wear,” he smirks. “You look Sexy and Beautiful in everything,”. 

A blush rises on your cheeks and you feel your belly filling with butterflies again. It was amazing to hear him say those things about you. He already made you feel like the most beautiful girl in the world, but his endless compliments just made everything better. 

“God, it feels so great to finally be able to say that to you,” he adds, throwing his head back against the pillow. 

“You’re so cute,” you laugh, moving your legs so that you are now sitting in his lap, pressing kisses all over his face. His hands run across your thighs, then eventually move up to your waist. His fingers softly scratch against the fabric of your shirt, and then make their way inside so that you can feel them against your bare skin. 

“But seriously, what should I wear?” you ask.

“Hmm, maybe that lacy black dress you wore to your sister’s engagement party,” he sighs, his hands now sliding higher up your body.

“Why that particular dress?” you smirk, knowing exactly why he wanted you to wear that dress. You took him to her engagement party as your plus 1 and his reaction when he saw you in the dress for the first time should have been a dead giveaway about how he felt about you.

“Because,” he says, his fingers teasing the band of your bra, increasing the tension around you. “The first time I saw you in that dress is still burned into my mind and I would love a repeat of it,”. You feel his fingers slide into the cup of your bra, giving your breast a soft squeeze. 

“Oh really?” you smirk, moving both your hands to each of his shoulders. “What did you think when you first saw me in the dress?”.

“Other than that you looked heavenly,” he starts off, causing you to blush again. “Like I wanted to kiss my way up your arm,” he says, removing his hands from underneath your shirt, then moving his lips to your arm and doing what he was saying. You closed your eyes and let out a few short breaths as you felt him pressing wet kisses along your arm. 

“Then, I wanted to leave a few pretty purple marks around your neck so that people could see you were mine,” he says, moving to your neck and sucking on the soft skin.

“Joe,” you breathe out, a warm feeling now replacing the butterflies in your belly. You move your hand into his hair, pulling at the strands and relishing his touch. 

“And then, I wanted to rip the dress off your perfect body and show you how much I loved you,” he says, moving up from your neck and meeting your eyes. 

“Damn, I didn’t think you felt so..” you trail off, trying to find the right word.

“Horny?” he says, causing a laugh to leave your lips.

“I was gonna say passionate but horny works too,” you finish. “Who knew Joey B could have such impure thoughts about his so-called bestie,” you tease. 

“That’s just 1 occasion out of a million others in which I felt like ripping your clothes off,” he whispered in your ear, sending shivers down your body.

You felt like you were about to pass out from the heat rising up your body because of your boyfriend’s alluring words & thoughts. Who knew that Joe could ever be capable of thinking that way about you? And who knew he was capable of making you feel like this? You wanted nothing more than to rip off his clothes right now and have your way with him.

“I could list even more occasions in which I wanted to rip that Jersey off your body and take you for a spin after every game,” you wink.

“Oh yeah?” he smirks. “Why didn’t you do anything about it then?” he says while rubbing your ass.

“Hmm, maybe because you were spoken for at the time and I didn’t want to be the other woman,” you joke, moving his bangs out of his eyes. 

“Please, if you gave me ‘fuck me’ eyes for even a second, I wouldn’t have hesitated to make you the woman,” he said. 

“I feel like I’m committing a crime saying all these things to you,” you blink, feeling like you were doing something forbidden by acting like this with Joe. 

“Oh me too. If our Ohio State selves walked in through the door right now, they would probably be traumatized for the rest of their lives,” Joe chuckles, your eyes wandering to his perfectly soft pink lips that you had been obsessed with for the past few weeks. With Joe, you were acting like you were a teenage girl who had just gotten her first boyfriend, all of the childish yet insatiable feelings were rising to the surface. 

“Then they would for sure be missing out,” you mumble as you push yourself closer to his body, capturing his lips in a messy kiss, taking him by surprise. His hands grip your waist as he pulls you even closer, your crotch right on top of his, and a feeling of hardness underneath you that makes you pull away from the kiss. 

You meet his eyes which are now dark with lust, “Joe I-,”.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he soothes as he rubs your thigh to comfort you. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to,”.

 “I know it’s a lot even though we’re like, adults now” he laughs, softening the air around you. 

“Could you be any more perfect,” you whisper out loud. 

“Hm?” he questions.

“You didn’t even know what I was going to say,” you mumble as you start pressing kisses on his jaw, trailing down to his neck as you can feel him move around underneath you, trying to find pleasure in just sitting there. You pull your head back up and meet his eyes again, “I was going to say that I need you,”. 

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Absolutely,” you say as you kiss his right cheek. “Positively,” you say as you kiss his left cheek. “Sure,” you say as you press a big kiss on his lips, hearing Joe let out a soft groan into the kiss and feeling him melt into you as you suck on his bottom lip. 

Your kisses became more urgent and needy as Joe’s hands wandered down to your ass and then back up to your waist. His grip on you tightens, prompting you to moan into the kiss. He gets up from the couch, still holding you while you were attacking his lips, and walks you both over to your bedroom. 

He kicks your door shut as you pull away from the kiss to look at him for a few seconds. You press your forehead against his and whisper, “I love you,” with the biggest smile on your face. 

“I love you even more,” he replies, softly placing you down on your bed before climbing on top of you; you open up your legs to accommodate his large body before going back to kissing him.

He moves down to your neck, kissing and sucking on the skin as you start to realize what was happening. Yeah, you were insinuating that you wanted to go there but that was purely coming from your heart. Now, your brain was awake. 

You were about to have sex with Joe. 

Yes, you had been dating for a few weeks now and this was bound to happen considering how you two couldn’t keep your hands off of each other, but it was actually happening for real this time and you were freaking out. But it wasn’t like you were afraid; you knew he would be the most gentle and considerate person ever. You were feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. What if he didn’t like it? What if it wasn’t as good as what he might have been used to with other girls?

Other girls. The thought of other girls being in this position with your boyfriend made you want to rip your eyelashes out. Was he feeling the same way about you though? The same feeling of bitterness at the thought of you being like this with other guys?

Oh, the things you would do to just get your brain to turn off for a few hours. You were pulled out of your trance, letting out a moan as Joe had seemingly just found your sweet spot.

“There it is,” he smiled as he continued to nip and suck at the skin, surely leaving a purple spot there like he wanted to. His left hand gripped your jaw, pushing your head to the side to expose the skin of your neck a little more. 

“Fuck,” you whimpered at the increased pressure on your neck and the gush of wetness pooling your core. 

He began to slip his fingers into your sweatpants, but before he could get too far, a blaring & piercing sound filled your bedroom. You looked down and saw the noise was coming from Joe’s pocket, probably from his phone. Then you looked over to the clock on your nightstand, the time reading 7:30, which made you let out an internal sigh of relief. 

But why were you relieved? You wanted this to happen.

“Joe,” you say, trying to get his attention but he was still spending time on your neck. “It’s time to go, Baby,”.

“Mmm, I can be late by an hour,” he mumbles, kissing up your neck and to your jaw. 

“Uhhh,” you say as you place your hands around his head and move it back up to your view. “You have practice tomorrow morning and we both know how cranky you get when you don’t get enough sleep during the season. And it’s December football so you cannot miss a single practice,”. 

“But–,” he starts to say.

“I know, I know,” you giggle. “But I’ll make it up to you soon, I swear,” you say, sealing your promise with a kiss.

He stares into your eyes for a few seconds before sighing, “Fine,”.

“But I expect to be compensated for this sooner rather than later,” he says as he moves off of you, reaching out to help you off the bed.

“Trust me, you will,” you say as you move your messy hair out of your face. You walk over to your vanity to grab a hairclip while Joe fixes his clothes and some other things. You look into the mirror, a shriek leaving your lips as you examine your neck. 

Joe flips his head around to you, “What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Joseph Lee!” you yell. “My neck!”.

He walks over and leans his head to look at your neck, laughing at what you were screaming about. “I told you. Pretty purple marks to show people you’re mine,” he winks before opening up your bedroom door, leaving you speechless at your mirror. Seeing this side of Joe for the first time was so weird for you since for years the relationship between you two had just barely grazed over the zone you were in now, so all this was unexplored. 

Even though it was strange and new, you loved every single part of it. He was making you feel things that no other guy could make you feel; feelings that had yet to be brought out, but now were because of him. 

A few minutes later, you help Joe gather his things before walking him to your apartment door. His hands wrap around your waist as yours loop around his neck, holding each other in a hug for a few moments. 

“I don’t want to go,” he mumbles against your head. 

“Hey, I’ll see you tomorrow night at least,” you say, rubbing the nape of his neck. 

“Mmm, I just wish we could always be near each other. 9 years of waiting plus not being able to wake up to your pretty face and kiss you goodnight every day is killing me,” he sighs. 

“I told you that my lease is up in 2 months,” you say, meeting his eyes. 

“2 months is so long,” he pouts. Joe had casually asked you a week ago what your thoughts were about living together at his house. He said that you both had already gotten comfy around each other since you have known each other for so long, so living together wouldn’t be so bad, but he also didn’t want to move things along too fast if you weren’t ready. You quickly shut down that thought and told him that you’d been waiting for nearly a decade, so you were definitely not rushing into anything. So naturally, you said yes. The thought of living with him felt like a dream, and now you were a step away from it being a reality. 

“They’ll pass by faster than you think,” you smile, pressing a kiss to his lips to make him feel better. 

“They better,” he says, returning your kiss with two more kisses. His lips were always so soft and felt like clouds against yours. There were so many times you didn’t want to stop kissing him because it felt like heaven and as if you were floating.  

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Okay?” You say, pressing your head against his chest and going back to the hug.

“Yes, Ma’am,” he replied, pressing another kiss to your head. 

“I love you,” you say, moving your head up to press a kiss to his chin.

“Babe, I’m not gonna leave if you keep kissing me,” he laughed.

You move your head out from his chest again and say, “If you don’t leave, we’re going to be doing a lot more than just kissing and I do not feel like having the entire team on my ass for making you skip practice,”. 

“Fair enough,” he sighs as he lets go of you. “I love you,” he says back, pressing a final kiss to your lips before opening up the door and exiting your apartment.

“Good night,” he says softly as his eyes twinkle in the light of the hallway. 

“Night, Joey,” you smile back, slowly closing the door as the smile on your face stays. You turn around and press your back to the door as that feeling of giddiness, caused by Joe, remains in your body. 

The Next Day

You finish applying the last bit of your lipgloss before grabbing your car keys and heading for your door. You took one final glance in the entryway mirror, making sure that everything was perfect. 

You were wearing the dress Joe had wanted you to wear which hugged your body in all the right places, especially around your breasts. You had the tennis bracelet he gave you on your left wrist and a small diamond chain around your neck, which still had purple marks around it that you didn’t bother to hide. You also grabbed a black cardigan to wear on top of the dress since it was pretty chilly out tonight. The red lipgloss you had put on pulled the whole look together, and you looked hot. You smiled at your appearance and sent Joe a text telling him you were on your way before grabbing your purse and heading out the door. 

Meanwhile, Joe was out in his backyard making sure that everything was perfect for his little date night. 

He had started a fire at the fire pit, hoping the warmth would find its way over the dining table a few feet away. Pots of flowers he had gotten--pink and white carnations--were scattered around the corners of the deck and his chef had prepared a delicious dinner for you both. Joe had requested that he make chicken potstickers, kung pao chicken with fried rice, spicy garlic noodles, and red velvet cupcakes for dessert. Everything was your favorite, and he made sure that it was flawless. The ring he had gotten made for you was sitting in his pocket, and he couldn’t wait to give it to you. 

The fairy lights he hung up a few days ago were still going strong and the entire backyard was now covered by a warm glow, no darkness in sight, just like he had wanted. That’s how Joe felt with you in his life. You were the fairy lights. You filled his world with light, getting rid of all the darkness and emptiness that was there before. 

“Shit, need music,” Joe mumbled under his breath as he realized he was forgetting something. He walked back inside the house and grabbed his speaker from the living room, hooking his phone up to it and bringing it back outside. He decided to put on your playlist, smiling as he scrolled through the songs and saw all the new ones you two had added over the last few weeks. Joe had added “Fooled Around And Fell In Love” by Elvin Bishop, “Head Over Heels” by Tears for Fears, and “Heavenly” by Cigarettes After Sex. You had added “My Love Mine All Mine” by Mitski, “Margaret” by Lana Del Rey, and “Dress” by Taylor Swift. 

Although Joe wasn’t the biggest fan of Taylor Swift’s music--because it wasn’t his particular taste--he had grown fond of her love songs, particularly “Dress”. The song lyrics were just a little too relatable for both of you. 

The sound of his doorbell snapped him out of his daze, looking at his messages and realizing you were here. He tapped shuffle, threw his phone onto the couch outside, and ran over to the main door to let you in.

While you were waiting at the door, you pulled out your phone to get another look at yourself, making sure that everything was perfect. Your eyes moved to your cardigan that was covering the dress, the dress that Joe had specially asked you to wear. 

You put your phone away and shrugged off the cardigan as it was ruining the vibe you were going for. You looked hot, and the cardigan did not emphasize that. “A little cold didn’t hurt anyone,” you muttered as you heard the door lock click and open. 

Joe opened the door, his heart skipping a beat as he laid his eyes on you. You looked absolutely desirable and angelic, and he was definitely feeling a repeat of how he felt when he first saw you in this dress. The same feeling of attraction and need.

“Hey,” you smiled as you straightened out your dress.

“Hey,” he smiled back. “Come in, it’s cold out there,” he says as he stretches his hand out to lead you inside the house. 

You place your hand in his as he leads you inside, and then you put your stuff on the kitchen island before turning around to face him again. You watch as his eyes move from your feet to your bare legs, to your hips, to your chest which was covered by black lace from the dress, to your neck that still has purple marks from yesterday, and up to your beautiful face. Although the dress you had on was made for you, it was making him want to rip it off right now. He wanted to skip dinner and get straight to dessert, and he was not talking about the red velvet cupcakes. 

“Like what you see?” you giggle as you pull him closer.

“You look fucking incredible, Y/N,” he whispers, his hands sliding across the silk fabric of your dress. 

“All for you,” you say before you press a kiss to his lips, but quickly pull away as you smell something delicious. 

“What is that?” you say as your eyes light up.

He lets out a soft laugh before grabbing your hand and leading you out to the backyard, “Our Date,”.

“Our date’s outside?” you wonder as he pulls you out the patio door, stopping you at the bottom of the steps. Your mouth falls open as your eyes move up to the lights hanging all around the deck, brightening his usually dark backyard. 

“Holy shit,” you whisper as you let go of his hand and walk further onto the deck. Your eyes move to the corners of the deck, noticing pots of your favorite flowers all around. Your eyes then navigate to the lit fire pit and the dining table a few feet away, which had all of your favorite foods on it. 

You flip around to face Joe, who is standing on the steps with his hands in his pockets and a grin on his face. “Joe, did you do all this?” you asked him.

“Maaayyybee,” he blushes as he looks at the sky and bounces back and forth on his feet. 

You run back over to him and leap into his arms, pulling him in for a big hug as you press kisses on his cheek. “I love you so so so much. This is so perfect,” you beam. 

“I’m so glad you like it,” he says as he sways you back and forth. His hand sliding down to your ass, giving it a soft squeeze, sending electricity throughout your body. 

“Nobody’s ever done this much for me for a date,” you say as you pull away from the hug, cupping his face with your hands and rubbing his soft skin. 

“Well, like I said before. I’m setting the standards in the boyfriend department,” he smiles as he moves his hand around your back and leads you over to the dining table. 

“Please, you are the standard,” you laugh as he pulls out your chair for you. Joe helps you settle in your chair before walking over and dragging his chair closer to yours and then sitting in it. 

“This food looks beyond amazing,” you say as you look at all the delicious foods as Joe starts to fill your plate.

“You have good taste,” he smiles.

“Oh, I know,” you wink as you take the plate from him. Joe grabs his water, taking a sip to hopefully calm down the impure thoughts he was feeling at the sight of you. “Not just in food though,” you add as you give Joe a loaded look, making him almost choke on his water.  

“Oh really? What else do you have good taste in?” he teases as he places his water back down.

“Hmmm, I think I have pretty good taste in NFL Quarterbacks too,” you wink. 

“Quarterbacks plural?” he says as he raises his eyebrow.

“Yeah, I think that guy from Kansas is pretty cute too,” you lie as you take a bite of the spicy noodles. 

Joe’s face drops as if he just saw a ghost and he feels his heart stop for a second, making you burst out laughing. “Oh my god, you should see your face,” you laugh as you put down your fork and throw your head back, your entire body shaking from his reaction.

“That is not funny,” he says with a straight face. 

“Aww, poor baby got a little jelly?” you giggle as you come back forward and grab his hand. 

“You don’t have to worry. The only Quarterback I have my eyes on is 6’3, has dirty blonde hair, is from Ohio, plays for the superior Ohio football team, and can plan a killer date night for his girlfriend,” you say as you lean over to kiss his cheek. 

“Good, because I heard that QB only has eyes for 1 girl as well,” he smiles.

“Hm, I wonder who she is?” you say as you bat your eyelashes.

“Well from what I heard, she’s suuuper funny, gorgeous, loves trashy reality TV, is a big football girl, and knows exactly how to make a guy fall head over heels in love with her,” he says before taking a bite of the kung pao chicken. 

“Did you say that last part because of the song that’s playing right now?” you laugh as you hear the melody of “Head over Heels” in the background. 

“Now that’s just a beautiful coincidence because I meant that for real,”.

“Well, I have a good feeling that the girl feels the same way about the Quarterback,” you say as you move your foot to touch his.

“Perfect, I know he’ll be happy to hear that,” he smiles. 

A little later, you both are digging into the yummy dinner as you talk about upcoming games, your schedules, and your sister’s wedding.

“So, you’re good to go with me to Kaylee’s wedding in a couple weeks right?” you ask as you shove another spoonful of rice into your mouth. 

“Mhm,” Joe nods as he finishes chewing the chicken. “I think I have a few suits I can pick from that can match your dress,”.

“Great, I’ll text her tomorrow,” you say as you finish up the last bit of food on your plate. “They’ll be so excited to see you and you know Kaylee will be on our asses for finally making a move on each other,”.

“Oh I am well aware,” he says as he takes one final bite before grabbing your plates and stacking them up to take inside. “I can only imagine how many people we’ll get bombarded by at the wedding,”.

“Bring some edibles or something. I don’t think I’ll be able to sit through the reception without something to take off the edge,” you say as you reach down to unstrap your heels. 

“You got it,” he smiles. “It’s getting pretty cold so why don’t you move over to the day bed by the fire pit and I’ll bring the cupcakes out over there. I’m sure it’s warmer there anyways,” he says as he gets up and starts to clean up the table.

“You don’t want any help?” you ask as you get up from your chair. 

“I’m good,” he smiles. “You just sit over there and look pretty like you always do,”. 

“I love you,” you yell as make grabby hands towards him and you walk backward to the day bed.

“I love you more,” he echoes as he walks inside. 

You hop onto the daybed, feeling the warmth of the fire pit gravitate toward you which was the best feeling since you were pretty cold now, especially since your dress wasn't really helping.  You leaned back against the pillows as you looked up at the fairy lights, humming along to the music playing in the background; a smile appeared on your face as you realized the song that was playing. 

“Say my name and everything just stops, I don’t want you like a best friend,” you mumble, reciting the song lyrics. “Only bought this dress so you could take it off, take it off–”. 

“Oh, I will be,” Joe winks, snapping you out of your daze. 

You look back straight and see Joe standing in front of you, holding a plate with 2 red velvet cupcakes. 

“Hello, again,” you say as you sit up straight and scooch over to make room for Joe. 

“You warm enough?” Joe asks as he settles in next to you, his body warmth making you even more warmer.

“Now that you’re here, absolutely,” you say as you press a kiss on his cheek while you grab a cupcake from the plate. You take a bite of the cupcake, Joe, attentively watching you as you close your eyes and let out a groan because of how good it is. 

“Mmmm, that’s the best thing I’ve ever had,” you open your eyes as you wipe your lips with the back of your hand. You look at Joe, who seems to still be staring at you, not saying a single word. He was thinking about how this was his life. How you were his life and he still hadn’t processed that this was real yet. He felt like he was dreaming and he was 1 moment away from waking up and all this being over. 

“Hey, you okay?” you ask as you put the cupcake back down on the plate.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he says while running his fingers through his hair.

“You were staring,” you say as you tilt your head to the side, the purple marks on your neck now fully visible because of the light shining on you from above.

“Just thinking,” he says, giving you a reassuring smile.

“Care to let me in?” you ask as you sit on your knees. “Just because we’re a couple doesn’t mean we still can’t talk about how we’re feeling,”.

He lets out a soft laugh before placing his hand on your knee, “It’s nothing bad. Just thinking about us,” he says. 

“Oh?” you say as you look up at him. 

“Again, nothing bad. I just can’t believe that this is real life and I know that sounds dumb, but it’s true. Having you with me was already the best part of doing what I’m doing, but now having you with me as my girlfriend, as my partner, just feels–,”.

“Unreal?” you interrupt, letting out a laugh when you see Joe shaking his head with a grin on his face. 

“Very Unreal,” he says, reaching for something in his pocket. 

“I feel the same way. I know it's only been a few weeks, but I already know this is everything I’ve been waiting for,” you grin. 

“We’re always on the same page about everything aren’t we?” he says as he pulls out a little box from his pocket.

“My favorite thing about us,” you say as you look down at the box. Before you could ask him what that was, he said something else.

“I just want you to know that you are the most important person in the world to me, and I love you more than words can describe. Everything about you just works for me, it always has and it always will. You light up my life, just like how these lights are lighting up the backyard,” he says as he opens the box. “You’re it for me, Y/N. My best friend, my twin flame, my girlfriend, and the person that I want with me for as long as we’re on this planet. Or any other planet if we end up going to Mars or something in the future,”. 

You feel like you’re slowly melting away at his words and then you look down at what was in the box, now feeling tears pool in your eyes. “Sooo, to show you that, I got you a little something,” he says as he takes the ring out of the box. 

“Joe, I- I,” you barely say before the tears fall from your eyes. He looks up and notices the tears falling from your eyes, puts the ring down, and starts to wipe your cheeks. 

“Hey, why are you crying?” he softly asks.

“Because,” you laugh through the tears. “You’re perfect. Everything about you is fucking perfect,” you say as you stuff your face into his neck. 

He wraps his arm around your waist and moves your hair to the side, “I hope that’s a good thing?” he asks.

“It’s a great thing” you giggle before pulling your face out from his neck. “Can I see it?” you ask as you wipe your eyes and nose.

“Duhh,” he smiles as he picks up the ring again. “Both of our birthstones in an alternating pattern, 9 diamonds to represent the 9 years we’ve known each other, and the date we met plus the date we became an official couple engraved on the inside,”. 

“How do you think of these things?” you ask as you feel fireworks setting off in your heart at how much detail he put into designing the ring. The ring was gorgeous, and it was definitely a pretty penny. “But this was probably really expensive,” you say.

“We’re not doing that again. You said the same thing when I got you this bracelet,” he says as he touches the tennis bracelet on your wrist. “And what did I say?”.

“In case you forgot, I am a millionaire now, and you never wanna upset a millionaire,” you say, recalling his words from a few years ago. 

“Exactly,” he says as he eyes your hands, trying to decide which finger to put it on. 

You watch as his eyes dart from one hand to the other, then eventually setting on your right hand, slipping the ring onto your 4th finger. 

“Why that finger specifically?” you ask.

“It’s your right hand’s ring finger,” he shrugs.

“Soooo,” you say, expecting more for the reasoning behind it.

“Your left hand’s ring finger is being saved for another ring that I’ll give you later on, so this was the next best thing,” he says so casually. He was talking about your ring finger, the ring finger. He wanted to put that ring on it. 

You lean forward and pull him in for a kiss, not needing to say anything else to him because he already knows how you feel. You feel his hands travel down to your waist, gently picking you up and placing you in his lap. His hands travel up and down your sides, and then you feel him pull away from the kiss which makes you let out a little groan. 

“Have I told you how Sexy you look tonight?” he says, his lips all glossy from yours. 

“Ohh yeah," you nod. "Have I told you how great of a Boyfriend you are?” you ask him as you slide your hands up and down his chest.

“Yeah, a couple of times,” he teases. “But seriously, you look hot. Like incomprehensibly hot,”.

“You still thinking those same thoughts you felt when you first saw me in this dress?” you ask as you move your face closer to his, pressing feather-light kisses on his jaw. 

His hands move down to cup your ass and his head shifts so that his mouth was right by your ear, “Those thoughts plus maybe a few more. Why don’t I show you in my room?” he whispers, setting off that warm feeling in your stomach again. 

“Sounds perfect,” you say as you kiss around his neck, hoping to leave a purple spot there just like he did for you yesterday. 

He holds your waist tightly as he slides off the daybed, your legs wrapping around his as his hands slide to your ass again. You hide your face in his neck as he quickly closes the fire pit and unplugs all the lights before walking back inside. 

Once you’re back inside his warm house, you move your head out of his neck and go back to kissing him. You were so lost in his lips that you didn’t even realize you had made it up to his room until you heard him close the door. Your eyes looked to your left towards his bed, stopping at his bookshelf and at the photo of you two that Joe said was his favorite a few weeks ago. You smiled at the thought of how things had changed from then to now, still not quite believing that this was real. 

He places you down on his bed before crawling on top of you, the same position as yesterday before you got interrupted by his alarm. You feel his lips travel from your jaw down to your neck again, slightly sucking on the already bruised spots, making you let out a whimper. 

“Joe,” you blubbered at the slight sting you felt. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll leave your neck alone,” he chuckles as he moves down to your chest. Your chest was lined with the lacy part of the dress, and Joe felt like a kid in a candy store. He started to press kisses along your soft skin, moving one hand to the strap of the dress and pulling it down slowly. You closed your eyes, feeling desire building inside your body with every touch and kiss from Joe. He pulls down the straps of the dress, his eyes widening at the fact that you weren’t wearing a bra and this was his first time seeing you naked. 

“No Bra?” he asks as he looks up. 

You feel shy all of a sudden and open your eyes, remembering you didn’t put one on since the dress held them pretty well. You move your hands to cover your chest, but Joe stops them before you can. 

“You are beautiful, Y/N. No need to hide,” he says as he presses a kiss to your chest again, getting rid of all your shy thoughts. “Absolutely gorgeous,”. 

“But, no bra makes it seem like you came over with an agenda tonight,” he laughs as he kisses down to your nipple.

“I told you that you’d be compensated sooner rather than–,” you smile before you feel Joe wrap his lips around your nipple and swirl his tongue around the bud. “Oh my god,” you moan at the contact. His tongue continues to work its magic around your sensitive bud, prompting a few gasps and whimpers to leave your lips as you play with his hair. 

“Joe,” you moan as you squirm underneath him, feeling him move from your chest and down your body. He moves down your body, pressing wet open-mouthed kisses along the way as he pulls the dress down with him.

“God, you’re so pretty,” he mumbles as he kisses your stomach. “And your skin is so soft,”.

You smile as you hear him continue to praise you while pleasuring you, making sure that you feel good about yourself in every way possible, physically & internally. 

He moves to your arm, “Absolutely stunning,” he says as he presses a kiss to your forearm. He then moves back to your stomach, “Drop dead gorgeous,” he says as he presses a kiss to your hips. “Hottest girl I’ve ever come across,” he says as he presses a kiss to your belly button. “And all mine,” he says as his lips graze over the sensitive spot on your belly close to your heat, feeling a gush of wetness pool at your core. 

“Shit,” you moan and pull on his hair as you feel him kiss that spot on your stomach, feeling butterflies flying through your stomach. He was so sweet, even in the most heated moments, and that was another thing you adored about Joe. 

“Found another sweet spot I guess,” he chuckles as he presses another kiss to it before moving down to your core. He pulls your dress all the way down your body, now leaving you in nothing but your panties. He looks at you for a few moments, seeing you in your most natural form in front of him, and it makes him feel like he is on cloud 9. The fact that you were so comfortable around him, especially like this, was another reason why he is absolutely obsessed with you. You felt comfortable with him emotionally & physically, and he felt the same with you. 

“You good?” He asks before going further.

“I’m great,” you smile as you make grabby hands towards him.

“Tell me if you want to stop,” he says.

“That’ll never happen, but okay,” you smile. 

He comes back over you, pushing his lips against yours in a messy kiss that has you both gasping for air and feeling more needy than before. You feel his hand travel down to your thigh, his fingers massaging the plush skin before he pulls away and goes back down to your core. 

You feel your brain click, just like it did last night, as you realize what was going to happen. You feel his hands teasing the band of your panties before you feel his lips on your inner thigh. You feel him suck and nip at the skin, definitely leaving another mark.

“You love marking me up don’t you?” You laugh.

“People gotta know that you’re mine,” he says as he sucks on the skin of your inner thigh. The words coming out of his mouth were still new to you. The thought of Joe, your Joe, doing this to you and saying these words to you was something you never thought would be possible. 

Before you could say something else, you feel him ghost his fingers over your slit, feeling your wetness seeping out of your panties. “So wet for me,” he chuckles before he pulls down your panties and throws them to the side. 

You start to feel those nerves again, so you close your eyes, hoping rid of those thoughts. The cool air of the room hits your core at the same time as you feel Joe’s mouth lick a long stripe from your folds to your clit, sending the first waves of pleasure throughout your body. “Mmm,” you whimper as you throw your head to the side, your fingers twirling the strands of his hair as his mouth starts to go unhinged on your core.

Wet slurping sounds fill the room along with your breaths that are coming out in short gasps. Joe’s mouth was magic, pure magic, and you were mad at yourself for missing out on this for all those years you stayed away. 

“Joey, fuck don’t stop,” you shamelessly moan as you push his head closer to your core, feeling him groan into you as he continues to lap at your folds. You could feel his soft scruff rubbing against your lower half, the real feeling of it better than what you had imagined it felt like. 

“You taste like heaven,” he says as he presses kisses around your skin before attaching his lips to your sensitive clit, sending intense shocks of pleasure throughout your body.

“Fuck, Joe,” you moan as you start to arch your back, but he gently pushes you back down before moving his hand to cup your breast, his thumb sliding across your nipple while his mouth continues to send you to heaven. “God, you’re so good,” you whined. You were melting under his touch, letting him do whatever he wanted to you, and it felt so right. The way his mouth was worshipping you was sending you into overdrive, his soft lips caressing every part and making you lose all control, but you were trying to keep it together. 

He looked up for a few seconds, watching you struggle to hold it together as the sounds coming from your mouth were absolutely unhinged, a juxtaposition to your facial expression. He watched as your free hand was gripping the sheets, your knuckles losing color at the tight grip you had on them. Every time you moaned his name, it felt like everything would just stop, and he loved it. 

His hand slides down from your breast to your thigh, gripping the back of it to throw your leg over his shoulder, opening you up even more. You feel his tongue thrust into your core, just as you start to feel your pleasure building up while his thumb was rubbing circles around your clit. 

“I’m so close,” you whisper as you open up your eyes and look down at him, feeling incredibly dazed at the sight of him doing what he is doing right now. He moves his lips from your core up to your clit, rhythmically sucking and swirling the bud before you let out another moan. 

“Oh my god,” you whine as you feel your pleasure begging to be released. You let go of the sheets, stuffing both your hands into Joe’s hair and grinding against his mouth. The combination of his tongue and your movements push you towards your orgasm as you feel the band in your belly snap hard, seeing stars for the first time in a long time; almost feeling like you had just fallen into a cloud of pink dust and the room had just gotten 10 times brighter, and it was all because of the man in front of you. 

“Joe,” you whimper as you throw your head to the side and smile into the pillow, waves of pleasure crashing over you as he continues to lap at your folds, softly rubbing your shaking thighs and milking every last drop of your orgasm. He continued to lap at your folds, a little more delicately than before. Then he moved back up to your face, he watched as you continued to grin into the pillow, soft moans and whimpers still leaving your lips as you came down from your high. A few moments later, you open up your eyes, panting from the aftermath of your orgasm, seeing Joe’s face just inches from yours. 

His lips and chin were coated with your wetness, his cheeks were flushed, and his hair was all messy. He wiped his chin with his hand before bringing it to his mouth to clean your wetness off of him. 

“How was it?” he pants, praying that you enjoyed it and felt good. He wanted nothing more than to make you, the love of his life, feel good. It’s all he has ever wanted. 

“You’re really fucking good at that,” you breathe out before you pull him closer and kiss him again. You could taste yourself on his lips and that made the kiss even more sweeter. Your tongues tangled in each other's mouths as you moved your hands to his back, stuffing them underneath his shirt and tracing his torso with your freshly manicured nails. You pulled his shirt higher, signaling that you wanted it off. He pulled away from your lips for a few seconds and took his shirt off before going back to you, his lips sucking on your top lip, almost biting it at the feeling of your hands finding themselves inside his pants.

Before you got lost in his lips again, you pulled away, leaving him a little breathless and very needy. “Mm, come back,” he whispered as he moved to kiss you again.

“I think you forgot to take something else off too,” you say as hold his face just inches from your mouth while you look down at his pants.

“Damn, straight to it?” He laughed as he got off of you and started to take his pants off.

“We’ve been waiting for way too long for us to not get straight to it,” you say as you watch him take them off. The nerves only get stronger as your brain starts to fully wake up, and the thoughts of last night come right back. You were about to see him fully naked and have sex, and there was a very real possibility that he wouldn’t enjoy it. But at the same time, why wouldn’t he? He loves you, and he made it very clear that you were the one for him; you both wanted this to happen, and you even said it to each other’s faces many times. 

“No, No No. Stop it Y/N. He loves you,” you think to yourself, trying to get out of your head again. You watch as he is just left in his boxers, expecting him to pull them down any second, but he just stands there with a straight face. 

“Everything alright?” you ask him.

“I don’t have any condoms,” he says as he rubs the back of his neck. 

You stay silent for a few seconds, “I’m on the pill,” you tell him, feeling even more nervous at the thought of him fucking you without any barriers. 

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna force you into doing something if you don’t feel comfortable,” he asks.

“Joe, I promise you that it’s fine,” you say as you give him a sincere smile. 

He nods his head before he pulls down his boxers, your breath hitching as you look down and see him fully bare for the first time. You felt like you were back in high school and hooking up with a guy for the first time since you were feeling all of the same feelings again; excitement, hesitation, desire, and tension. 

“Are you still good?” He asks as he moves onto the bed, pumping his cock as he gets in between your legs.

“You’re just so-,”.

“I know,” he laughs. “But I promise, you can handle it,”.

“Oh really? What makes you so sure?” You tease.

“Because I know you and you never back down from a challenge,” he winks. 

You let out a soft laugh as you looked down again. Your smile faltered as the thoughts in your head only got louder and now your face was showing it, and he was noticing. 

“Hey, you okay?” he asked as he stopped and cupped your face.

“I’m fine,” you sigh.

“Talk to me, Y/N. I know you’re not fine,”.

You let out another sigh, knowing you could never lie to him, “Just nervous I guess,”.

“Am I making you nervous?” He asks as he moves a few strands of hair out of your face.

“No, no. God no. It’s just that I keep thinking you won’t like it, and then I think about the other girls that have been in this position before,” you confess.

He stares deeply into your eyes for a few seconds, his heart dropping at the thought of you feeling like this because you were thinking about other girls.

“You’re crazy if you think I won’t like this. And stop thinking about other girls,” he says. “Look around. You’re the only girl in my bed, you’re the only girl that will be in my bed, and you’re the only girl that gets to have me like this,” he reassures you. 

It felt as if your brain had just gotten a soft blanket and pillow, preparing itself to take a nap and finally turn off for the night, and it was because of Joe. He always got you out of your head when you were too far gone and this was just another example of it. 

“I love you,” you say as you look into his baby blue eyes, filled with desire for you. 

“I love you more than anything in the world. Will you finally let me show you?” He asks as he presses a kiss to your nose. 

“Of course,” you say as you press a deep and passion-filled kiss onto his lips.

He pulls away and says, “Let me know if you want to stop, let me know if it hurts, and let me know if it’s too much,”.

“Joe,” you blink.

“What?” he asks.

“I’ve had sex before,” you laugh.

“Okay, but you haven’t had sex with me before,” he says as he raises his brow.

“Fair point,” You giggle.

“Just know that I'm here and that you’re safe,” he says before you start to feel pressure down below, his cock slowly sliding through your drenched folds.

“Okay,” you whimper as you throw your head to the side, feeling a slight sting at the sensation of him stretching you out. A few gasps leave your lips at the fullness you felt, and then a whine when you feel him stop. “Don’t stop,” you said 

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groans as he slides in all the way, feeling your cushiony walls wrap around him for the first time. 

“Joe,” you whisper, moving your face so that you are looking into each other's eyes. He starts to thrust into you, setting a slow pace so that you can get used to the feeling. The slow rhythmic pace he set made your toes curl, the feeling of him inside of you was unlike anything you’d ever felt before and you loved it. The way he held you close to him, the sounds leaving his lips, and the feeling of being fucked by him was all too much for you. 

Faint sounds of skin hitting skin filled the room as he moved deeper inside of you with each well-placed thrust. He grabbed your leg, cupping the back of your knee and placing it around his waist, opening you up even more for him to go deeper. 

“Yeah,” you moan as you feel him moving closer to your G-spot. The new angle allows him to move deeper into you, reaching new territory each time he pushes into you. 

“Does it feel good?” He pants as he presses kisses around your jaw.

“Feels fucking amazing,” you say as you open your eyes and move your other leg around his waist. You move your hand into his hair again and push his face closer to yours, soft moans leaving your mouth against his lips before he moves closer and captures your lips in a gentle kiss. 

A few seconds later, a well-placed thrust causes you to pull away, his cock grazing your G-spot.  “Joe, holy fuck,” you moan as you throw your head back against the pillow. You had him so close to you, but you wanted him closer. His pace was fulfilling, but you wanted more. “Joe,” you moan again as you open your eyes. 

“What, Baby?” he breathes out as he continues to thrust into your slick core.

“Fuck me,” you moan. “Fuck me harder, please,”.

He looked into your eyes for a few seconds, smiling at the sight of you begging for more and feeling like this because of him. You felt comfortable with him, and that’s all he wanted. You were the only girl that he wanted like this, and now that he had you, he felt like he was on top of the world. 

“I never thought I’d hear you say that, fuck, that’s hot,” he pants as he begins to thrust into you harder. He picked up the pace of his thrusts, the feeling of him pounding into your core with no barriers was too good and neither of you could get enough of it. 

“You feel so good,” he moaned at the feeling of his cock pumping into your core. You started to buck your hips against him, matching the pace of his rough thrusts and pushing you both into another realm of satisfaction. The sound of skin hitting skin only got louder, just like the sounds escaping both your mouths. One of his hands traveled to your chest, cupping your breast and teasing your nipple with his thumb. 

Hearing Joe like this was sending chills down your body, again thinking about how quickly things changed from innocent to whatever the hell this was between you two. It was pure passion, love, and desire that had built up between you both for years, and it was finally coming out in the best way possible. 

“Yeah,” you groan as you move further up the bed, his cock slamming into your cervix with each snap of his hips. You moved your hands to cup his back, helping him move against you as every stroke hit your pleasure point. 

“J- Joe,” you struggle to moan, his lips move down to your neck again, but this time nestled against the spot by your ear.

“You. Are. Un. Fucking. Real,” he whispers into your ear, punctuating each word with a rough thrust before dropping his head into the crook of your neck. He felt himself getting lost in your touch, the way you felt around him was unlike anything he had ever felt before with any other girl. The sounds escaping your lips, the smile on your face, the softness of your touch, it was all unreal. 

Joe continued to fuck you senseless, your pleasure building inside of you with every thrust. “Right there,” you smile as you feel him find another pleasure point inside of you, your breath coming out in short gasps again as you feel him slam into you harder, making sure he hits that spot just right. 

“Fuck, Y/N,” he moaned as he felt your walls start to clench his cock. 

“Mmph, I’m close,” you whimper as you press a kiss to his forehead, prompting him to come out of your neck.

“Fuck,” he pants as his thrusts start to become more erratic. He could never get enough of you, the feeling of being balls deep inside of you was something he needed to feel all the time. He’d never felt this good with another girl before, you were something special. 

You felt your legs start to burn and a thin layer of sweat formed on your body. He moves one hand to grip your waist, his lips find their way to your mouth again, and his other hand starts to navigate down to your clit. The way he was touching you sent electricity through your veins. 

He starts to toy with your clit as his mouth crashes against yours, and a few rough thrusts later, you were clamping down on his cock. “I- I’m cumming,” you moan as you break away from the kiss, digging your head into the pillow again, feeling the band in your stomach tighten.

“I’ve got you,” he says as he presses a kiss to your cheek. Your arms wrapped around his back, drawing him closer to you as you felt the world stop.

“Joe!” you screamed as you felt your orgasm wash over you, your walls clenching his cock in a rhythmic manner making him groan. It felt like a rush of dopamine, a breath of fresh air, and like you were going down a big drop on a rollercoaster. All of which created a feeling of euphoria.

You whimpered and moaned at the feeling of your high; it was a feeling of raw satisfaction. You’d never felt like this with another guy before. Those thoughts and doubts you had were long gone as all you could focus on was the pleasure you were feeling at the man who made it happen. He managed to make you feel like the most extraordinary girl in the world earlier with everything he said to you, and now he just showed you that he meant everything he said. 

He was still moving, but not as strongly as he was before. You didn’t feel him reach his high yet, which made you a little nervous, so you were determined to get him there. You opened your eyes, seeing a content smile on his face as he slowly pumped into you.

“Don’t stop,” you said, maybe for the 50th time, your voice raspy from how fucked out you were. 

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna push you too much,” he said as he pressed a kiss on your nose. 

“Keep going, it’s perfect,” you whispered as you closed your eyes and let go of all your thoughts and feelings, letting him do whatever he wanted. You felt his pace pick back up, feeling him move closer and closer to his release. 

“Shit, I’m close,” he moaned as his thrusts became rougher. The soreness down below was setting in, but you didn’t care. All that mattered was that you wanted him to feel good, just like how he made you feel good. A few seconds later, you felt him still inside you and hot spurts of his release coating your walls, just as he gently pressed down onto your body, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he felt his high. The feeling of him inside you was magical, and something you could never get enough of.

“You’re so good, Y/N. Fuck, I love you,” he whispered into your ear, causing you to grin. You both lay there for a few moments, basking in the afterglow of what had just happened, your breaths steadying out. You thought about how exciting this was, getting to finally do this with Joe. Finally getting to be his girlfriend, finally being able to do what couples did. It was all you had ever wanted. 

He moved his face back to your view, seeing your flushed cheeks and messy hair along with the grin on your face. “H- How was it?” he asked as he slowly slid out of you, a hiss leaving your lips at the sensation. 

“I don’t think I can even begin to express how much I loved that,” you said as you pulled his face back down to yours, pressing a big kiss to his lips. “Wait, did you like it?” You asked him as you suddenly pulled away. 

“Does this answer your question?” He laughs as he moves back down and kisses you like he has never kissed you before in his life. “That was the best. You are amazing,” he said against your lips. 

He gets off of you a few moments later, walking into the bathroom to grab a washcloth to clean you up. Then, he walks into his closet and finds a t-shirt for you to slip on, as well as some fresh clothes for him. 

“Here,” he says, handing you one of his Bengals t-shirts. 

“I hope you know that you’re not getting this back,” you giggle as you sit up and slip the shirt on.

“Fine by me,” he shrugged as he put on shorts and clean boxers before sliding back into the bed.

“I should probably change these sheets,” he realized, starting to get back up but feeling your hand wrap around his arm, pulling him back down.

You toss your leg over him, holding him down to the bed. “Later,” you say as you move closer to his chest, his arm wrapping around your waist. 

“Someone’s feeling clingy,” he teased as he kissed your forehead. 

“Clingy, glowy, infatuated, in love. Whatever you want to call it,” you smile up at him. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked you as he rubbed your belly.

“Like I’ve just had the best sex of my life with the love of my life. I can’t believe I’ve been missing out on that,” you shake your head. 

“I feel the same way,” he chuckles. 

“Thank you for tonight,” you say as you press a kiss to his bare chest. “This was really special,”.

“Don’t thank me,” he says. “You deserve this. Only the best treatment for the girl of my dreams,” he smiles.

“I love you so much that it literally hurts,” you giggle as you hide your face in his chest.

His hand slides up and down your back, his heart bursting at the thought of you both together in this moment. “I loved you then, I love you now, and I’ll love you forever,” he whispered into your ear, making your cheeks turn another shade of crimson. You slide your hand up his chest, softly grazing your fingers over his muscular body and admiring the ring on your finger, having a moment of realization. 

“Hey, I just noticed something,” you say as you bring your hand to your face, admiring your ring. 

“What?” Joe asks as he looks down at you.

“I know you said there’s 9 diamonds for the 9 years we’ve known each other, but you know what else is 9?” you say as you look up at him, your words laced with love.

“What?” Joe asks, not catching on to what you were saying.

“You, silly,” you say as you pat his chest. “You’re number 9 and the ring has 9 diamonds. I’ll always have you with me even if we’re not always in the same place,” you giggle. 

“That’s actually really sweet and wasn’t even on purpose,” he cheeses. “But trust me, we’ll always be in the same place,”.

“Hmm, what about when you have to go to the team hotel the night before games? Or away games since I wouldn’t see you until after the game?”

“I’ll sneak you in. Show up in the mascot’s uniform, and just the uniform,” he winks. “I'm sure you’ll make it up to our floor if you make a good excuse,”

“Oh, I’ll make it up to your floor, I have spy-like reflexes, but I think they’ll realize that there’s a girl in your room once they hear us going at it,” you laugh into his chest. 

“Hey, they should appreciate that I’m letting my built-up tension and nerves out in a healthy way,” he shrugged. “Having your star QB all tensed and nervous before a game is a recipe for disaster,”. 

“You’re too much,” you blush.

“But you still love me,” he laughed, looking down at you.

You crane your head to his face, meeting his ocean-blue eyes that never fail to send butterflies into your body. “That I do,” you say as you shift your body so that you're on top of him, feeling a wet spot on the bed as you were doing so.

He watches as your face scrunches up, looking a little uncomfortable. “You good?” He asked.

“Hit a wet spot,” you laughed. “There’s a lot of body fluids on me and this bed right now,”.

“Do you want to shower?” He asked as the pads of his fingers massaged the plush skin of your thighs. 

“As long as we get to repeat this,” you mumble as you move your face closer to his.

“Already?” He asks as he raises his brow, stunned at your stamina.

“9 years Joey. 9 fucking years,” you laughed.

“Fair enough,” he says as he presses his lips against yours, sliding off the bed with your legs wrapped around his. 

“You might need some Advil after this,” he says as he opens the bathroom door. “I have a lot of energy,” he winks.

“I’d be mad if you didn’t,” you smiled against his shoulder, your entire body sizzling with anticipation. This was going to become a regular thing for you both, and that made your heart soar. He was perfect, your relationship was perfect, everything was perfect.

--The End--

[fryktheciller]

Cooler

charlie dalton x gn!reader

summary: a summer evening at dalton's place

notes: hi!! this is the first ff i actually finished writing and im dying inside at the thought of posting it. english isnt my first language and im posting this at 2 am, after a poor revision, idk what to say expect spelling mistakes and sentences that dont make sense and raskolnikov-like blurb cause im him hes me and ok i really need to close this paragraph.

Days fly by with Dalton. His parents, two goddamn toffs, sure had great taste, both in furniture and especially in friends. God bless that day his parents decided to become best friends with yours.

Can't say the same about their son, Charlie, a professional dickhead, from the day you knew each other until the day he'd close his eyes and become cold. Sure, he's hot and pretty and oh so charming; sometimes he can also be kind and gentle, but he's got something that’s scary magnetic, and addictive, or at least you think so. That something’s everywhere: in the way he moves his hands while he's explaining the last shitplan he’s come up with while smoking on the balcony; the way he rolls up his shirt, thinking it will help doing a math test, knowing damn well he's going to pass by a stroke of pure luck; or the way he plays the most outrageous melody on his sax, still making it somehow so good and passionate. Also (did I mention it?) he's quite literally the definition of gorgeous—the definition of kalokagathia, except it’s all looks and no agathia. The whole thing’s like: I could love him. And you, oh so desperately!, do. 

The sun’s setting, it’s humid, and the air’s filled with the scent of flowers and the smoke of Charlie’s cigarette. 

–Want one?- He hands you his torn-out red Marlboro packet and his lighter.

You take one and light it up, sitting on the balcony’s hot tiles. 

–Got no dates this summer?

He shrugs, smiling and blowing smoke into your face.

–Got asked out a couple of times before school was over. It's that I'm not interested, don't really know why.

You drag from your cigarette and blow the smoke out, then lightly tap it to get rid of excess ash. 

–Milord, if you may forgive the vulgar language I’m about to use, us peasants call it being in love, or having an interest in someone. Again, sorry for using such vulgar and disgraceful language.

He laughs, and you laugh along with him.

He puts out the cigarette on the tiles, and shrugs again. 

–I don't know.

–It’s not that you don't know; you'd like not to know. Falling in love with someone must be such a sin in the Charlie Dalton religion.

He laughs mechanically, somehow. He hesitates, smiles, and, once again, shrugs. 

–Generally I try to avoid these statements, but now I can't help but embrace them. I've given up.

You laugh, and he follows you—heartily, even. 

–But you?

–Me?

He gestures vaguely with his hand, and you find yourself staring at it with lust, almost. 

–Laid those pretty eyes on someone?

You shrug.

–Nothing much.

–What does that even mean? It's either yes or no. You said it. 

–Didn’t say it. I implied it

–Smartass.

–You’re just jealous of my linguistic capacities.

–Sure I am. Now is it some new incestuos-alien-being who doesn’t even know what a woman is, or is it someone worthy of your admiration?

 –He’s…definitely worth my attention. I think. But I have no hopes. I count on nothing. The thing is: do you really have such low consideration for my romantic interests?

You raise an eyebrow at him, almost mischievously. 

–Not at all. I remember all of those creatures you swore to your mother you loved. And, oh god!, you might expect to find someone pretty on a list that's basically a decade long, but no! Each and one of them is outrageous-looking and with absolutely no social skills. Sometimes, I’ll be honest, I really wondered if you were joking, and for some time I even believed that. But what a realization it was when I understood you found those things pretty.

You both laugh again, and you visualize and remember all those “people” you liked and that you now look at with disgust and apathy.

You’re folded over your stomach, tears of laughter streaming down your face, your tummy hurts, and you can't breathe; he's no different, lying down on the floor, arms wrapped around his stomach, wet lines at the corners of his face, and misty eyes; almost like he was thinking about the same thing as you.

As soon as you thought it was over, anything like a weird look was enough to get you both to start laughing.

–Good god,– you whisper, wiping off the tears with your fingers.

–I think I have never laughed so much at something I said. 

A smile is enough as a response; anything else would kill you.

–By the way, he’s really pretty.

He raises an eyebrow, almost trying to contradict you. 

You smile at him, as if trying to get him started on a debate.

–Description?– he asks, understanding your intentions.

–No, for god’s sake. 

–Not even a hint? A tiny little hint?

–Nothing, absolutely nothing. 

How would you describe this person anyway? “A brunette and dark-eyed boy who plays the saxophone and is a dickhead for a living”? It’s ridiculously explicit. 

–How ‘bout you? It's not that I care, but, you know...

He laughs in response.

–No, you’d tell them.

–Why would I do that? I most likely have no clue who that is.

He shakes his head. 

–Do I know them, at least?

He shrugs and hesitates.

 –Pretty much, yes.

Your head hurts; your stomach is practically in your throat; and you spat your heart long ago. You hope to God that he doesn't come up with a “it’s you” thing because you would faint on the spot. 

–Oh, but it’s your turn now,– he says, nudging you with his elbow.

–Do you know him? ...uhh yes, I suppose so. 

–Great.

–Yeah.

Silence falls between you. You tilt your head and look at the sky, intense, dark, and somehow transparent and clear, like it is only in summer; the air is now fresher, and a soft breeze rises, contrasting with the boiling heat of the tiles. Everything’s humid, full of the scent of flowers, from both florid and almost empty plants, frogs croaking, and fireflies, opposing the equally intense beaming, but perhaps less faint, of the stars. 

Your head still hurts; you can see but you can't really see; you still have the laughter from before in your tummy, and thinking about it still makes you chuckle. 

He seems to ignore you. He lit up another cigarette. “What’s he thinking about?” you think, looking at the sun-colored and bustling flame from the lighter, then at the less intense and steadier one on the tobacco. 

“Must be so unhealthy for him to smoke like this,” you think, and you find yourself pitying him, "ridiculous," is your comment. It is indeed ridiculous to pity someone who rejects deeply and obstinately the concept of that feeling. 

You want to hold him against your chest or on your shoulder, smell the scent of his skin, and keep him close, even if that means dying from the heat. You stare at his profile—that huge yet so perfect nose; that big hand, well-kept like only a musician can do; then the cigarette, already half-burnt; and his lips, chapped and dry. You look at them with lust once again, but not lust lust, something more tender and sweeter, rather than sinful, even though the sin part doesn't really bother you. 

“Tell him, c'mon, tell him,” a little voice in your head was screaming. Of course you’re not going to tell him, or maybe yes? What would happen if you did? You'd lose a friendship that's scary long; that’s what would happen. And what would you do without him? Could you make it? Of course not. You don't remember what it feels like not to have him by your side. Plus, he wouldn't forget: who the hell would forget the love confession from their best friend anyway?

“C'mon, tell him, tell him!” You swear you hear that tiny voice screaming at the top of its lungs.

No, you won't tell him; you'll bring your feelings to the grave with you. 

He put out the cigarette, still in silence. 

“C'mon!! Carpe diem, for fuck’s sake!” What does that even mean? Can I kill a man because I thought “carpe diem" ? That doesn't make any fucking sense. And when did you really start to love him? Months ago? Days ago? Years ago? It could have been yesterday; you’d swear you’ve been loving him for years. 

You start to embrace the idea of telling him. “How would I even put up the whole sentence?” You can't do anything but tell him. Let's be honest; it feels like lying to him, and would you want someone else to tell him rather than you?

–Char

He turns at you with a questioning gaze on his face. Your heart's beating so fast that you feel your arteries are going to explode.

–Can’t beat around the bush much longer, you know. That person…

You pale, feeling the blood pump hard in your temples, and you start to wonder if those were really your last words.

–Cool.

He doesn't feel the same way; it's clear. 

–It's even cooler because I really like you too.

You smile and start to chuckle; it feels like fresh air after holding your breath for too long. He responds with a soft laugh, heartily, then wraps an arm around your shoulders and brings your figure next to hiss, kissing your forehead with those chapped and dry lips that feel like a fresh towel you washed without fabric softener. 

–Were you going to confess your sins eventually?– You joke, still smiling.

–Perhaps, yes. Seems like we’re going to be busy earlier than I expected, though. 

He smirks, a flashing Charlie Dalton smirk. You groan, annoyed, in response.

–Fucking disgusting, Charlie.

–Sure, sure. 

–It's too hot to have sex, Charlie. Don't tell me you don't think so.

–You just told me you liked me, and you have already started to protest?

He shakes his head in mock disapproval.

–You’re not going anywhere, like this.

You chuckle.

–Kiss me, and I'll stop whining.

–Could have told me earlier, maybe we could have actually got to have sex,– he laughs, leaning in. 

His lips are on yours; they're soft, gente, and warm, but still rough and dry. 

God, this boy needs chapstick so badly.

[obsessedwithspiderman2099]

Wisteria

Part two

Pairing: fem!reader x Miguel O’Hara

Word count : 1,209

Synopsis: Someone joins you in your walk home.

“Who are you…”

the words stumble out of your mouth as if they were legs that couldn’t walk. Though you were both terrified and confused by what just happened, you manage to stand tall before the almost Spider-Man that’s just a few feet away.

“That’s...classified.” He responds, his voice both deep and rough. It seemed forced, like he was trying to cover up his natural one or something.

“What do you mean classified? Cause you look like a weird cosplay of Spider-Man, not to mention you just beat up that….. whatever that was, like it was nothing!” The words fall right out of your mouth, the shock taking away your filter. He mutters something under his breath in Spanish, and now you wish you chose that over French as your language to take in high school. A simple Bonjour can’t help you right now.

“Look-“ He begins,pinching the bridge of his nose for a second. “It’s dangerous out here Ma’am, you shouldn’t be out in the streets.” He takes a step closer, to which you take a step back. Noticing the action, he stops.

“I wasn’t even in any trouble, I was just getting home before that…thing came over!” You say. “You walk home alone?” “….yeah.”

The spider man dupe mutters something else under his breath. “Do you even have a taser? Pepper spray?” He says, concerned. “I take self defense classes (You took two in high school) I’m fine.” Although you definitely weren’t, at least the delusion was there.

“Let me walk you then.”

You scoff, “and let you know where I live? Absolutely not.”

You clutch your bag a little tighter, looking up at him. The height difference is comical. Usually meeting a man this tall would send butterflies to your stomach, but that’s in different circumstances.

“I can’t let you walk by yourself here.” “I’ve done it before. Why are you concerned about me? You don’t even know me.” To be honest, he didn’t know. You were a stranger to him. Just another citizen in a different universe. Normally he would just take the anomaly and leave, but there was something about you….

“Look, I’m not asking for you to trust me or anything else, I just want to make sure you end home up safe.”

You stare at him, debating whether or not to let this man walk you. If he wanted to hurt you or worse, he would have done it already. You sigh, “fine. But just a block away from it.” He nods, “Alright. You lead the way.”

The walk was normally just ten minutes, but it felt like thirty with the extra company.

The two of you walked with silence. Not awkward or uncomfortable, but not exactly comforting either. You could not help but almost stare at him, taking notes on his appearance. Although you couldn’t see his face, the suit doesn’t really leave anything else to imagination.. The dark blues and reds were completely different then what your Spider-Man wore. His whole message was saving the people and the environment, something you agreed with.

On the sidewalk, you spotted a small patch of purple. One tiny purple flower was trying to grow. Something it’s ancestors thrived at. Mind completely focused on the flower, you don’t notice the small step on the concrete, something you always avoid. You trip on it, and almost faceplant when, of course, ‘Spider-Man’ catches you.

“Thank you…” You say, already cringing in embarrassment of what just happened. You always notice that step! Why did you have to forget about it when you have eyes on you??? “Of course.” He replies, and a deep hue of red covers your cheeks as you suddenly remember you're still in his hold. Awkwardly stepping out of it, you two continue on your walk.

You still can’t help but wonder who he is, and why would he ever want to help you in the first place? If he’s really like Spider-Man, then of course he’d defeat whatever kind of reptile monster was back there. But take the time to actually walk you home? That was new. The question lingers in your mind, but you shrug it off when you look back at him and notice something that catches your attention.

“What kind of watch is that?” You say, gesturing to the confusing piece of tech on his wrist. He looks down at you. “It’s nothing.”

You scoff, “Doesn’t look like nothing to me.. Is it a thingy to help with your webs? I saw you use them.”

“What? No- it’s… it’s to..help me with my steps.” He says. Coming up with lies was usually so easy for him, especially in his line of work. Why did it feel so hard to do in front of you?

“Oh…ok, well we’re here.” You say, stopping in front of a dark blue door with some gold numbers on the top of it. You turn to him.

“Thank you for…. Well, for a lot. You didn’t have to walk me.” Although you couldn’t see his actual face, or eyes, you tried to make eye contact. Staying polite was always something you tried to be.

“Of course, it was no problem.” A small smile appeared on your face at that. He saw it, and immediately he felt like his stomach was doing small flips. He tried changing the subject, more as to give a distraction to his current stomach issue.

“Do you always walk home?” “Yeah, that’s my routine.” “Then I’ll be here tomorrow .”

Another wave of blush hit your face at the kind action, “Really? No no you don’t have to do that-“ “ I insist.”

You sigh, the smile still remaining intact as you look down to grab your keys to open the door. Why would you want to say no to that?

“Ok then, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Good night.” He said.

Looking up to say it back, you were met with nothing but the cold Brooklyn air.

Confusion struck.

How did he do that?? And how so fast??? You knew he wasn’t your Spider-Man, but he wasn’t exactly just human either.

Getting inside to your apartment, you set your bag down on the counter and was immediately greeted by a puff of fur. Your cat was always happy to see you. Gently pushing her tail away from your face, you pick her up like a baby (She is one to you ) and pet her little white head.

“I’m sorry for leaving you for a whole six hours Zinnia. Hope you can forgive me.” Giving a small kiss on her head, you then started your night routine.

While putting on more comfy clothes, brushing your teeth, and feeding Zinny, the whole time you couldn’t help but think of one thing.

Him.

Something about the way he was just couldn’t stop running around your head. Why were you thinking about him? He was just a stranger.. someone who just did a good deed and helped someone out.

Oh who were you kidding, he literally beat up a villain like it was just a high five. Not to mention he acted so nonchalantly about it. Like it was just another Tuesday. That’s definitely not normal. And the things you were thinking about him definitely weren’t either.

So why couldn’t you stop?

A/N: AAAA!! Thank you so much for reading! I had no idea whether or not this would be a good plot or idea to post, but I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know if I should make a third part!

[the-roo-too]

minji fluff alphabet pls

candy -> kim minji ver

aka the fluff alphabet

admiration (what does she absolutely adore about you)- you’re the only person on this planet who laughs along when she calls everyone ‘bro’ and she says that’s true love 🫢🥶

body (what’s her favourite body part of yours)- minji the typa girl to love wrapping her arms around your waist and just back hugging you, i don’t make the rules 💪

cuddling (how she likes to cuddle)- you’re a mess ima be honest, when cuddling you’re not sure if you’re laying on her arm on her leg 🦈

dates (what’s her ideal date)- hear me out, taking minji to a lego shop and getting each other’s customised mini figure….. me thinks yes!!!!!:!,!,!.!! 👀

emotions (how does she express her emotions around you)- idk if you can call that ‘expressing emotions’, but you know something’s up when she stops calling you ‘bro’

family (does she want one)- maybe? it’s a yes but also a meh 🦧 minji does want some type of family with you but children are sooo annoying………..

holding hands (does she like to hold hands)- she LOVES to hold hands, especially in her dorm like 🤭🤭 hanni automatically fake gags every time she sees you with minji 🥶

injuries (what would she do if you got hurt)- my girl bends down, picks you up and usain bolt’s to the nearest hospital 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

jokes (does she like to joke around)- i mean… let’s not forget the fact that she calls you ‘bro’ on daily basis…. minji is secretly a part time comedian, although she takes 80% of her jokes seriously

kisses (how does she like to kiss you)- hear me out, minji loves to give you forehead kisses! they’re so soft too :((

love (what’s her love language)- minji strikes me as a person who’d enjoy building legos sooo 🤭 (not the flowers, the flowers are lame) YALL CAN DEFFO BUILD THE BONSAI TREE TOGETHER

memory (what’s her favourite memory together)- when you first came to the newjeans dorm and you beat hanni at mario kart because she was whining about how clingy the two of you were 👁️ (to this day hanni holds a grudge because of that)

nighttime (how does sleeping with her look like)- if you snore minji will wake you up for the first two weeks sleeping together and go “bro…….. thats not kewl….” and go back to sleep 😭 if you don’t snore, she just cuddles you, arm wrapped around your waits and all that stuff 🫶

oddity (what’s a quirky thing about her)- calling your s/o ‘bro’ (with affection) is quirky by itself, minji wins this round 100% thank you for coming to my ted talk

pet names (what does she like to call you)- try as you might, you won’t convince me miss kim minji doesn’t call you princess, end of the discussion (she goes bro mode on you too)

quality time (how does she like to spend time with you)- either building legos (y’all are making a whole city 🫡) or playing minecraft 🤡 alternatively, you can build lego minecraft…..

rush (does she rush into things)- i mean… first thing she did asking you out was placing her minecraft bed next to yours, i’d say that’s moving fast…

secrets (how open is she with you)- she tells you NOTHING about comebacks, but overall, she’s pretty open? i feel like minji wouldn’t share everything from the begging of your relationship, but she willingly talks about things if you ask her about them

time (how long did it take for her to confess)- how long does creating a new server in minecraft, forcing you there with her, building you two a cute lil home and finishing it by dramatically placing her bed next to yours take? because that’s how she confessed 🫡

upset (what’s her reaction when you’re upset)- she’s a bit confused, why are you sad? if she’s the cause, my girl goes out of her way to earn your forgiveness :(( she ain’t the cause? minji will beat up the actual cause of your sadness (yes, even if it’s a jar you couldn’t open)

visibility (is she afraid of the public opinion)- kinda? minji wouldn’t be the one to propose coming out to public, but if you really wanted that, she would make sure you’re protected and stay away from all the potential hate the two of you could be getting

warrior (how often do you fight)- actually, small fights with minji happen a couple times a month. it’s usually nothing big, just about how she didn’t wake you up before she left for practice etc. most of those banters get resolved with a kiss mwah 🫢

x-ray (is she able to read you)- y e s; she squints her eyes as if she needed glasses, uses her magical superpower (she makes you laugh by looking silly with her eyes squinted) and checks if something is wrong 🫦

yes (how would she propose to you)- now very important, i think minji doesn’t really like change. for now, it’s cool as it is! maybe in the future one of you could propose, but for now? minji’d rather stay as girlfriends

zen (what makes her feel calm)- just quietly enjoying each other’s presence, like sitting side by side and scrolling through y’all’s phones, showing the other some funny stuff

part of [the fluff series]

[gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot]

im so sorry for being downright annoying but im confined to my apartment since it's 40 degrees where i live and i have nothing to do :((

could you pls do like a headcannon post for your interpretations of the 141? like you said, soap plays drums, ghost prefers solitude to being mean and aggressive, gaz doesnt get caught doing the kind of shit soap gets caught for, etc. i just find your hc so damn interesting and good. AND believable!!

here's some flowers for your kindness!! ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘

Ok! I want to make clear first that these are just my own interpretations/headcanons, for what I'm writing (although I'll try not to mention Riot much), so if someone feels I'm going off-canon, or I don't write them as they should be (whatever that means) just... meh

Ok, so... Gaz, Price, Soap, Ghost and Nikolai because certain someoneeee asked and I can't deny them anything (and he's going to appear in my fic anyway)

Under the cut because it's going to be long. Edited to add after I finished: God it's horribly long

He gives me elder brother vibes, as in, responsible, overachiever, trying to do the right thing, being the one making way so his younger sibling(s) have it easier

He is nice and respectful to everyone, specially his elders and/or superior officers, but finds it difficult to tolerate shit or incompetence. Still, he is diplomatic enough to hide it (mostly), and will make a good officer in the future, in both Price and Ghost's opinion

He loves cooking and baking, and thrives learning other culture's cuisine. Doesn't mind spicy food, and absolutely gets a laugh out of sneaking some spice in what he cooks to make his friends sweat

Both him and Soap became fast friends. Not only they're close in age, they're both nerds (Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Dungeons and Dragons...) and gamers, and play together fighting games like King of Fighters in an old playstation that Price allowed them to have in the common room.

Friends as they are, they absolutely cheat and piss each other off while playing, to the point of swearing to not ever talk to the other again.

They also absolutely prank each other. Salt in their coffee, googly eyes glued to their bedside lamp (Soap had the fright of his life), toothpaste inside the pockets...

He once covered Soap's side of the office in post-its. Took almost the whole night, but Gaz is a dedicated individual

Everyone thinks he is the serious and responsible, but he is just too good to be caught doing shit. But seriously, the worst ideas come from him

(aaah look at my baby)

PRANKSTER. In capitals.

Younger brother vibes. Like, with three elder sisters. I hc that he has a quite big age gap with his sisters and, although they love each other, they were almost teens when he was a wee boy

Loyal to the bone, will get a bullet for you. Will give you shit if you get it instead covering for him

Friendly with everyone, his love language is touch, patting your back or shoulder, or if it's with a close one, a plain old bear hug. If you're certain someone who he sees as another sister, the bear hug involves swaying and lifting you up

Can't be subtle to safe his life. Can't lie either. You'll know when he's lying because he'll grin so wide that you'll see all his teeth

Learned to play the drums in his teens as a way to channel his energy. In boot camp organized a music group with other privates, Riot included, as a way of bonding and letting out steam. He likes about anything music related, but rock, pop and folk music specially

Looks awesome in a kilt and learned to play the bagpipes when he was a wee lad, but hasn't played one in years

He is way more intelligent that he himself gives credit, and can calculate in seconds the apropriate amount of explosives needed to just demolish what he wants and not a single brick more

That said, he's obsessed with blowing things up. Only things! But if they happen to have ASSHOLES inside, so be it

He is a family man, and tries to speak with his ma as often as he can, but his ma is tiring, man... Always asking when he's getting off the military, when he's settling down, when he's growing out his hair... That mohawk, my son... that's why you're single

Flirt. Like, for fun. Just because. It works either way, because if you feel flattered, he already has you reeled in. If you get angry, he knows how to push your buttons and persuade you in the correct direction. Correct for him, of course.

He can get anything you want/need. It's his specialty after all. What was that, zólotse? You need [insert whatever you imagine]?. Don't you worry, sólnyshko. You'll have it. What does he want in exchange? Only your smile

Of course, if down the line he happens to need something of you, just a little tiny thing, not really important... you'd be a dear and help him out, right?

He not only is a fixer, but he is a trader. He trades anything, information, documents, intel, weapons, vehicles, favours. He doesn't need notebooks, he has it all in his head. All the debts, paid or unpaid, all the people that owe him something, all the people he owes something, people he can convince to 'help' other people so he can kill two birds with one stone, etc etc

He has that ability that can't be learned, of being able to sway anyone his way just with his words. One look at you and he knows what he needs to say to get you on his side, or to make his bidding. Do you need praise? Threats? A pitiful plea? He sure can act the way you need him to, even if you don't know that you need it

If you are friends though, his help comes with no strings attached. Well, maybe a tiny one. Or two. But completely easy things to do. Promise

(that's like my favourite gif of Price, he's so damn hot)

He seemingly has endless patience, but only with his subordinates. He has no patience nor tolerance for idiots in the higher ranks, and has no problem speaking up against them

Everyone knows/thinks Gaz is his favourite, but in reality all of the core 141 is his favourite, he chose them after all. He trusts each and any of them with his life, and would die for them without second guesses

He knew Ghost before he was Ghost, and seeing what he became destroys him. He was the one to recommend Simon Riley for the Special team that went after Manuel Roba, so he feels responsible of everything. Simon knows and has assured him many times that he shouldn't feel bad, he couldn't have known.

If he shares a cigar it's because shit's about to go down and there's no way out or against all odds you got out and needs to be celebrated. No in between, you won't get a whiff of them ever unless he's smoking them. Except if you're Simon, he's the only one with whom he shares, and it's not unusual for them to go for drinks alone or just share a drink and a cigar in Price's office from time to time. Sometimes they don't even speak.

Acts way older than he is, he's always been an old soul. That said, the shit he has to go through every day keeping those muppets in line makes him feel like he's three hundred at least

But if someone dares to raise their voice at HIS muppets, that someone better prepare for hell to rain upon them. No one gives shit to his kids except him

He smells bullshit when he's faced with it. Nobody knows how, but he knows.

Protective, obsessive, bossy and gruff, but loyal to his last drop of blood

That's why he's 'dad' to his kids, even if they don't call him that. But all of them go to him when they have doubts, Gaz and Soap even go to him to ask for advice about this or that, or how to...? Even Simon does ask him things from time to time, and it's not unusual for them to just drop by his office for no real reason, just needing dad

Stern, taciturn, solitary, stoic. Seemingly cold, but he is only guarded. He finds it difficult to trust, even before Roba, due to his childhood.

Stiff upper lip: displays fortitude and stoicism in the face of adversity, or exercises great self-restraint in the expression of emotion

He can be aggressive and mean, it's part of the job, but he takes it with an attitude more like 'Does this need to be done? It needs to be done', and Simon mentally checks out and Ghost takes the wheel, that way he can preserve his sanity and try not to feel like the ones who made him like this... both his father and Roba

He is slow to trust, but if you manage to get through his walls, his loyalty is unwavering. For example, he'd follow Price to hell, only asking 'when are we leaving' if his Captain would ask him to.

He has a soft spot for Gaz and Soap although he doesn't show it, physically or verbally, but with little things. His love language for others, if he even knows what that is or even remembers what it was, is acts of service. Little things like buying them snacks when they run out and haven't had time to go to the store, or taking over their watch turn when he sees them nodding off.

The love language you would have to use with him would have to be maybe quality time at first, even without touching, just spending time together. Having a smoke at midnight behind the mess hall, doing paperwork together in his office or yours, watching films together in the common room. After things progress, it'll evolve into a mix of physical touch (he's so touch starved it's not even funny, and once the dam is broken you won't get rid of him easily) and words of affirmation, but mostly touch.

[ecargmura]

A Sign Of Affection Episode 12 Review + Final Thoughts - Their Expanding World

This is one of the best romance anime I’ve watched! It’s sweet, cute and satisfying to watch. I would totally buy the manga just to see what happens next. Did the ending satisfy me? Mostly, but there are some gripes, but very minor.

The finale is mainly Yuki and Itsuomi going on a date and I think it’s the prettiest thing ever. They go to a botanical garden and admire the flowers there. All the flowers looked so pretty! The animation studio went all out with making them look so gorgeous! I legit spent ten minutes taking snapshots of the flowers because, like Yuki, I really like taking pictures of flowers! I felt like my eyes were cleansed.

I really liked Yuki finally learning why Itsuomi likes to travel. When Itsuomi was a boy, he moved to Germany and couldn’t adjust. When he saw a German boy with a soccer ball, the first thing he said was that he wanted to play soccer with him, to which the boy asked for him to come over to play, which started their friendship. This caused Itsuomi to love languages. He loves how people communicate with words. This is why he travels to different places so that he can teach kids about his culture and communicate with them. I think language is a beautiful thing too! Being able to communicate with someone in different language is an amazing feeling. I speak Korean to my parents and a few family friends while I speak English to my brother and anyone outside of my family. I think it’s amazing how language flows into your mind and allows you to process it and then you make it come out in whatever language option you scroll to in your brain. I think the most successful thing about communication and language is getting a response. It means someone understands you. It means you did a great job working so hard to learning the language. I get that feeling! I also understand why Itsuomi likes Yuki so much because she cannot hear words, so she ‘speaks’ by using her hands but still manages to convey herself. I think sign language is amazing and I see why Itsuomi is so fascinated by it.

I do like that the ending shows good resolutions for mostly everyone. Kyouya and Rin are officially dating with the former giving the latter a cute red ring as a present. Emma finally gives Shin a chance and the two start dating to test the waters. Oushi is still pining for Yuki, so there’s really no ‘good resolution’ for him romance-wise. Izumi does seem like she still has a thing for Oushi, but whether they will get together is unknown. Yuki finally gets her passport and she also is reunited with Madoka after a while at her workplace. Madoka’s just as energetic as her aunt and it’s cute. Overall, the finale ends happily. Nothing too tragic or confusing happens. Everyone is happy.

Final Thoughts

Like I said, A Sign of Affection is one of the best romance animes I’ve seen in a while. I do like that animes are giving cute romances a chance and it’s really working well. I really enjoyed My Love Story with Yamada at Lv. 999 and My Happy Marriage, and I’m glad that this anime helped me keep the momentum of me enjoying romance animes going.

What I like most is that the anime does revolve around young adults either college-aged or working adults (in Kyouya’s case), so all of the issues and conflicts are handled and resolved maturely. There’s no frustrating misunderstand that could be resolved by talking it out or aggravating love triangles. It’s a pure, simple and sweet love story about people in love.

The characters are great! While there’s nothing absolutely fantastic about them, I do love how they all have layered personalities that help them avoid the usual shoujo romance cliches. Yuki is reserved, shy and deaf. However, her reservedness and shyness does not interfere with her wanting what she wants and liking what she likes. She has so much personality and even gives sass to Oushi when he’s being too much. People usually think that being shy or reserved makes one a bland character, but Yuki’s nothing like that at all. She’s reserved, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t think she’s not worthy of Itsuomi. Instead, she sprints towards acknowledging her feelings as love and keeps racing on. Also, she is deaf but she doesn’t make that her entire character. She’s not seen as pitiful for being unable to hear and will stand her ground when things get tough for her due to her disability. Everyone who meets her likes her as a person, showing that she has good character above all else and that is what makes people like you.

tsuomi is tall, handsome, and easygoing. He likes to travel and can speak three languages. I think that his main “flaw” is that he can get a bit too intrusive on personal space, but that’s just how he is. I do like that even though he learns that Yuki is deaf, he never once pities her or sees her as lesser. He treats her like he would any other person and even wants to learn sign language out of curiosity. Because he likes to communicate, he’s always trying to communicate with Yuki and everyone else whenever he can. Like, when he and Yuki started dating, he kept her updated with texts and photos and not ghost her. He even wanted to get to know Oushi better; the whole segment with him and Oushi in episode 10 was cute. I think the only other instance of him showing “negative” emotions was when he was frustrating with Emma’s clinginess towards him.

The supporting cast was great too. Rin was a good friend to Yuki and always saw her as an equal despite being her underclassmen. Kyouya was cool as being the only non-college aged adult of the group. He’s kind towards Rin and never gives her false hope about her being a potential romantic partner. He’s nice towards Itsuomi like he’s his little brother and even treats his friends civilly too. Shin and Emma were interesting to learn about as they were Itsuomi’s friends since high school. Oushi was annoying, but he does seem like he mellowed a bit towards the last three episodes. My only gripe is that not much is known about Izumi. Even other minor characters like Tsujimura or Madoka have some substance; with Tsujimura, he had interest in Rin and was trying to pursue her and with Madoka, she was Yuki’s friend who is also deaf. All I know about Izumi is that she has a dog and likes to read. Who is she to Oushi? Who is she to Yuki? I’d like to know more about her.

At first glance, the animation could be a bit jarring due to Itsuomi’s lip size, but as you keep watching, that little issue bugs you less and less. The animation is really pretty in my eyes. I love how the snow falls and the way nature is colored. I really liked the camping trip episode. I think what surprised me the most was that Costco was animated, as shown in episode 4. Whoever animated the Costco needs to get a raise because they drew the interior near identical to its signature look. Why I say it’s near identical is because I don’t know what Costco actually looks like in Japan, but it does look similar to American Costcos interior-wise. I was legit surprised they even drew the Costco pizza box accurately. I’m sorry that I ramble about Costco too much because it’s legit the first time I’ve seen it in anime.

The music is great! The soundtrack fits the vibe of the anime and the opening and ending songs suit it too! I really like the opening song the most; there’s something so soothing about the singer’s voice.

The voice acting is great! Sumire Morohoshi as Yuki was a surprise since I’ve never heard her in shoujo anime and she should be in more shoujo anime because her voice suits the genre so well. She did a great job with Yuki from voicing her thoughts to sassing Oushi with the “hmmph” and such. Yu Miyazaki is a rather new name I’ve heard as he mainly had minor roles and is also Atsumi Tanezaki’s husband, but his voice suits Itsuomi so well. It’s also nice to listen too! He speaks English well too! It’s good enough that I can understand what he is saying and be amazed by it. I hope that he gets more roles because it’d be a waste to not get more roles with that kind of voice and language talent. The side characters are voiced by rather prolific voice actors and actresses. I think this is the first time I heard Nao Toyama and Kaede Hondo voicing young adults and they did a great job not making them sound too childish. Ryota Osaka as Kyouya was great as he always has a soothing voice. I think the voice actor who surprised me the most was Tasuku Hatanaka as Shin because I never heard him use such a gentler tone on a character. I mainly heard his gravely voice and usually associate him with it that him using a softer voice never crossed my mind. It’s safe to say that I really want to hear Hatanaka voice a shoujo male lead someday. He has the chops for it.

I rarely update my favorite shoujo animes of all time, but A Sign of Affection has made it on that list. It’ll be one I’d be thinking about for a long time. Yes, I’ll buy the manga too. Yes, I’ll recommend it to anyone who wants to watch a cute romance show. Yes, you should definitely watch it. What are your thoughts on the show as a whole?

[minhosimthings]

Hold Me Without Hurting Me

Chapter 3: Wattles and Wills

A/N: In which an old friend fills your life with flowers again, along a bumpy sided road.

Pairings: Ceo!Jay × Ceo!fem!reader, includes rest of Enhypen and certain other groups

Warnings: angst-fluff, hurt/comfort, friends to enemies to fake dating to enemies to lovers, Mentions of food and alcohol, swearing, nothing much but it's a bumpy story.

Story prompt: If I had a flower for every time I fell in love with you, I would walk in my garden forever. (This story is based on the language of flowers.)

A/N: YAAS QUEEN MONA SLAY FOR WRITING ANOTHER CHAPTER WOOHOO. yes I know it's really short but I'm telling you I want this shit to move as slow as it can. And I ain't kidding. Like it's gonna be slower than me on the treadmill.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Life just feels hazy sometimes. And for different people, there are equally unique methods to get over it. Some smoke cigarettes to get over the pain and some sew and pierce their fingers in order to understand what pain is. Sometimes time just feels like it goes too fast. And unfortunately for you, it was doing just that, as you slept on your bed, still thinking that you were a sixteen year old girl in highschool working at the flower shop after school with a messy haired boy, arranging the prettiest bouquets for nervous husbands, and reassuring them about the meaning of each flower. And yet, life's gotta move on, and you had to pull yourself back to the reality that you were independent now, a girlboss as the Instagram people said, a woman in total control of her life, who ate quinoa and blueberries everyday and balanced every single aspect of her life properly. But as you stared at the carmellias in your room, you questioned whether that was all that was to life. Work, money and putting food on your own plate, being compassionate to other, helping other people constantly without ever thinking about yourself. Was that all your life ever was to be? To be an obsessive people pleaser and eventually reach the grim reaper that way?

"Jungwon-" you straightened your skirt and called to your assistant who immediately looked to you, "-remember what I told you. When Mr Park asks for private moments you shall immediately go, either with his assistant or on your own alright?" You patted his arm and sighed, "God knows if I'll survive this shit."

You made your way down to the hall, counting each of your steps as you conquered them. It never really occured to you how tiny the way from your room to the main hall was, until now, when you were about to meet the absolute bane of your existence. "Ma'am are you quite sure you're alright?" Jungwon's crystal voice rang through your ear. "Because If you are uncomfortable, it's alright with just cancelling." You shook your head at his suggestion, although you felt proud of him for saying that. "No Jungwon." You sighed, "It's always better to just get it over with isn't it?" You smiled in a pathetic attempt to calm yourself down, and spotted Jay sitting calmly on a red couch, immersed in staring at a vase filled with asters. "Ahem." You cleared your throat as you approached him, to which he looked up at you slowly and smirked. His eyes flicked towards Jungwon, who turned into a beetroot again and fumbled with his fingers. "Your assistant-" Jay leaned back against the couch, "-can go take a tour of the city along with mine." You sat on the chair opposite to him and raised your eyebrows. "And may I ask who your assistant is since I cannot trust mine with any random person." You tried to make your voice as steady as possible when In reality you were trying not to stare at Jay's arms in the tight green shirt he was wearing. "She's right there in the corner." He pointed towards a girl standing at the check in counter. She looked good enough, you thought. "Jungwon you can go." You said to Jungwon, who bowed to you and Jay and quickly scrambled off towards the girl, but not before giving you a look which clearly said 'try to survive through it."

“You really are a fucking asshole aren’t you?” you spat at Jay, who couldn't have looked more unbothered. “Yes, i believe that’s what’s on my resume.” he shot back calmly. "And anyways we don't have time for that right now. What I want to know, is whether or not you've agreed to the thing I told you last night?" You rolled your eyes and crossed your legs, leaning back against the squishy maroon cushion. "Don't really have a choice do I?" You scoffed, "so just tell me what I need to do and we can et this shit over with."

Jay smirked up at you, and pulled out a blue file from his bag, handing it to you. "Take a look." You took the file with hesitation and opened it up to find a letter addressed to Jay. Not a buisness one, it was handwritten, with a handwriting you recognised. "Is this-" "My dad's handwriting? Yeah. Just read."

You rolled your eyes at his tone, and dropped your eyes to the letter. You recognised the format immediately. A make shift will. With the words "Love, dad" at the end alongside a beautiful signature. The writing was weird. The words were even weirder, with strange macabre singles halting each word, like a secret society's code.

"Jay I don't get it." You said, handing him the letter back, which he stuffed back into his bag. He sighed and stopped for a moment before starting. "So you know I inherited my dad's company right? I mean you wouldn't know that but still." You rolled your eyes again, keeping the words, 'i haven't known anything for eight years' to yourself. "My father was hellbent on getting me married. Of course-" he gave a short laugh, "Classic asian parents. So he made a deal at death, a way to force me to get married. According to his will, I was only to get two thirds of his company, the other part was to be left secret. And as the storyline goes, the other part is the most important one, containing all the secrets to old passwords and whatnot. Of course-" he smirked a bit, "-I've built the company up as much as I can, but I need those passwords direly and my dad's lawyer will only give it to me once I get married or show him that I have a significant other." "And I assume you want me to masquerade as your girlfriend so you can get your stupid passwords and then break up with me so we can lead our own different lives again?" You snorted, "Jay you should get your head checked out by a therapist because that is the most bat shit crazy plan I've ever heard." Jay chuckled softly. "Yeah knew you'd say that, but-" he leaned forward, "remember our little plan? With Lee Heeseung?" Your smile dropped at the mention of Heeseung's name and frowned. "Jay-" "Y/N do this one thing for me and I swear to God, I'll be out of your life forever." Jay looked at you with soft eyes, quite unlike those that he had been using with you. You looked outside the big stained windows of the hall and saw a big bush of golden wattle flowers. You had always admired the wattle plants, having being known for their dual meaning. When given in small quantities, they would mean stupid conditional love, but when given in huge 200$ bunches, they would mean marriage.

"I'll do it." You stared into Jay's eyes which spoke nothing but relief. "Great." He leaned back, spreading his legs a bit further. "Shall we go on our first date then?"

[zh-lele]

My last season called 'you'

▪︎Summary: You saw him for the first time the first day of spring. He had started to feel like home to you and then, all of a sudden, he was gone. No one could contact him. A promise to a Cherry Blossom tree and now it feels like seasons have stopped since Yuta left your side.

▪︎Pairing: Yuta Nakamoto x reader

▪︎Genres: angst, fluff but it's angsty

▪︎Word count: 2.1k

▪︎Warnings: barely suggestive (I swear nothing explicit.) Please let me know if there's more!

Playlist: Magic Carpet Ride (NCT 127), White Ferrari (Frank Ocean), Movie (Tom Misch), Pansy (Taemin), The Language of Flowers (ZICO)

Hi I'm posting again 👀 This idea has been on my drafts since the very beginning of March so it's good to finally have it out. BIGGEST!!! thanks to fei @doiefy for helping me with this one 💗🌸

1. Mourning bride: Unfortunate attachment - I have lost all

The day spring returns, the morning still feels too cold for your liking. The Sun doesn't shine enough to melt the thin layer of ice covering the streets, the biker outside the coffee shop and the door handle.

It's been two hundred and seventy-four days since you last saw him. Yet your eyes still hope to find him again, right across the street opening the little flower shop in front of your workplace. It's all dark inside, except for the subtle cabinet lights keeping the plants and different flowers warm. No one comes to open early in the morning anymore, since Yuta left.

Everything in this life is part of a great predetermined cycle and makes perfect sense. Flowers are temporary organisms—that is, they develop periodically. After fertilization, some parts of the flower become a fruit, enveloping the seed; others die and fall instead, going back to where they came from. He told you once, that everything was meant to be and end. But you never imagined it would end that soon. So this is a story that only lasts one spring.

A year ago, you saw him for the first time opening his shop as the daylight was barely illuminating the old city buildings. Absolutely no one buys flowers so early in the morning, but you were grateful for the boy across the street silently keeping you company. While you arranged the tables outside and waited for the first regular customers to pick up their coffee orders, he accommodated and watered the plants outside his own shop, before the sun rays would start to hit too strong.

You dream of suddenly lifting your head and catching a glimpse of his healing smile once again, the same one you caught daily every time you accidentally exchanged looks across the frosted street. But he's not there. You asked everyone who worked in the flower shop if they knew anything about him after he left, starting to worry when a week without seeing him passed. They only said he had to gone back to his hometown, that they didn't know where he lived. And no, he didn't have a phone and they didn't know a house phone number either.

2. Pansy (Heart's ease): You occupy my thoughts

Your sketchbook remains the same since he left. The first study that you did together was the flowers of the bouquet you bought for your mother one afternoon after closing the café. You were going to visit your mother and honor her with her favorite flowers, but the truth is, you had been working up the courage for weeks to finally go up and talk to the flower boy.

Yellow tulips were in their glorious springtime display. Hopeless love, he made you write under the sketch he made for you. Yuta told you about the meaning behind your mother's favorites that he learned from a really old book his father gave him. He knew a lot and he loved his job.

The task was not easy, as you need to be extra careful with plants, but he carried it out calmly, choosing each flower carefully and putting them together in a beautiful bouquet. It made sure the selection was unique to each person. His eyes would light up every time he admired his finished work and handed out the flowers to the customers, a warm feeling flooding his chest. You were sure it was his smile that made every plant in the shop bloom.

"Victorians believed yellow tulips literally meant 'there’s sunshine in your smile'," you heard him from behind the big bouquet he was still arranging for your beloved mother. Only his brown hair and his big shiny eyes picked out as he skillfully worked on it. "So there's a brighter meaning behind yellow tulips nowadays."

Seeing the final product in your hands, you knew your mother would've loved Yuta. She grew a big garden in the backyard of your house since you were little, which now you take charge of. It isn't as pretty as you remembered it when she was still with you, but you still put the biggest effort in it as a way to keep her close to you.

She knew tons about plants and their meanings and ways to take care of them. She was as bright as tulips and delicate as a rose. She had the biggest heart and smile, even when she was about to give up forever.

Yuta reminded you of her a lot. The boy radiated an indescribable warmth. He had a potential of significance that was expressed in every word, every kind smile, every subtle touch. Coffee even took on a new meaning when Yuta started waiting for you every night at the café counter, hot cup in hand until you finished your shift and closed the shop together. When you were so tired it showed in your demeanor, he was there, silently cheering on you. His sun-beamed eyes and smile would say it all.

He left numerous empty tea bags with little works of art on them. Yuta painted on any surface that allowed for it and you scolded him for wasting the tea herbs in such a way.  Now you can only look at the small framed bags on the wall of the café and miss his chaotic presence. His memory lives on every time someone admires the work and asks who came up with the idea of painting flowers on tea bags. An old dear friend of mine.

"What do you think?"

"I think the Victorians were right," you looked at the tulips in your hands and then at him. "There's sunshine in your smile."

3. Blue Periwinkle: Pleasures of memory

Yuta and you were quick to fill your sketchbook with studies, as the days passed and you only grew closer to each other. Your mother's garden was blooming and shining all over again when he started helping taking care of it on the weekends. Hearty meals and deep naps under the pear tree during spring days would never be the same without Yuta accompanying you.

Comfort, he told you to write under the pear tree drawing on your sketchbook. You were jealous of the warm breeze that unabashedly ruffled his hair. Jealous of the light that filtered through the leaves of the tree and caressed his honeyed skin. You couldn't wait to just touch his lips with yours; become one with him and experience the true calm and comfort you have been longing for so long.

Soon, his expression made you understand. A smile reassuring you the time would come. 

"Wait for me," he asked in a whisper. His hand fixed a strand of hair behind your ear and his gentle touch moved to your cheek. 

You feared the moment would dissipate if you opened your eyes and looked at him. So you only reached for his hand and took it into yours, giving a heartening grip and a kiss to the back of his palm.

"I will always wait for you."

You waited for him until the end of this first day of spring, too. The last page of your book displays a sketch that you wish you never got to do. Fifteen red roses. You didn't think much about it the night Yuta came knocking on your door with the flowers in hand, since you were tasting his lips for the first time. You can still feel the spark of electricity that he left with each kiss and touch on your skin.

The bed feels too cold even after a year without Yuta. You think you should have gotten used to it at this point. But that last night you swore a promise to the Cherry Blossom that was peeking through your window. As yours and his body were becoming one and your soul was intertwined with his, you promised you didn't want to feel spring ever again if it wasn't with Yuta. The Moon was shining bright and you begged for her to let you love him eternally.

"Cherry Blossoms have a very short lifespan. After their beauty peaks around two weeks, the blossoms start to fall," Yuta carefully explained to you as you copied the image of the tree in your backyard. The flowers were, indeed, starting to fall.

"I wish they lived all year," you sighed, finishing the sketch and writing down its meaning.

You felt his arms wrap you from behind; his naked skin hot in contrast with yours, which remained cool from drawing by the open window. You never wanted the day to come.

"I wish this night could last forever."

His comment aroused a strange and restrictive feeling in your chest. A kind of pain that remains with you until this day and won't let you smell the fragrance of flowers like you used to do so freely. You looked at him through glazed eyes and found nothing but calm and a tender sense of love. And you kissed him as if you knew you were never going to hold him in your arms again.

Now you think, maybe it was meant for you to never see him again. Nonetheless, you still waited for him to reappear, like he did that first day of spring a year ago.

Fifteen red roses.

He once told you people often used roses to communicate things; if you knew the meaning behind the number of flowers, you could decipher the message. You only realized it a few weeks after you saw him for the last time, after he left without explanation besides what his coworkers told you. Leaving you with nothing but his memories in each drawing, in your mother's plants which he took such good care of for ninety-one days, in his cologne that remained on your sheets until you were forced to wash them, and in his blatant apology.

I am so sorry, I beg for your forgiveness.

It was worse than breaking up through a letter.

4. Forget-me-not: This connection can’t be broken or shaken by anything

It's the last day of spring once again and you are closing the coffee shop late into the evening. The shifts are getting busier as the days get longer and warmer. But it's good since you get a little more income and finally get to enjoy the summer breeze and the scent of wet soil, since it must be raining somewhere near your little old city.

You quickly get ready before the rain comes so you can be safe at home, but as you messily get on your bike you feel something fall off your bag, realizing you've left it open and your old sketchbook is now in the street, some of its pages scattered all over the place.

You don't know why you have kept it with you for so long since you never drew on it anymore and Yuta doesn’t seem to be ever coming back either. But still you decide to pick it up from the ground the moment you feel the smallest drop of rain touch your skin, fearing that it might damage it further and ruin some of your most precious memories of him you can still have with you.

One last page remains on the ground, the wettest from the raindrops, and you rush to pick it up when you notice that it's one you have never seen before. By looking at it closely, you confirm that it is not a drawing that you made, but that Yuta did. Delicate flowers that you remember he planted a long time ago in your garden, appearing in frothy blue clouds that resemble the sight of the sky. You ask yourself why you never took note of this flower, let alone why you never did with Yuta the very moment he planted it there.

But it seems like he did without you knowing. Tears of frustration roll down your cheeks and water the page in your hands. You haven’t thought of him all day until this moment. And you believed you were finally getting over it.

Forget-me-nots symbolize true love and respect. When you give someone these tiny blooms, it represents a promise that you will always remember them and will keep them in your thoughts.

His letter reads at the bottom of the page:

Promise me you will never forget me.

So this is a story that only lasts one spring, and you miss him every other season, especially the ones when the Cherry Blossom outside the window of your cold room won't bloom. He made sure to leave his memory printed in every corner of your life and many promises in the air. And you still wait for him every other spring, for the slightest manifestation that he can be back with you one day.

[one-sad-human]

•Worth It• Duff Mckagan

Pairing: Velvet Revolver era! Duff Mckagan x Younger! Reader

Requested? Nope!

Theme: Little bit of everything/???

Warnings: Language, panic attacks, anxiety references, drug references

Word Count: 3k

A/N: Fic 2 of 2! This is the longest fic yet! Took a different approach to writing this one, hopefully it payed off. Let me know if you guys liked it or if I wasted my time with this one lol.

     You had met Duff in a coffee shop in LA. It was crowded and you were lucky enough to snag a chair before the lunch rush. Duff wasn't, and asked you if he could sit at your table.

     You grew up with Guns n Roses, bought his solo album the day it came out when you were just 15, and now listened to Velvet Revolver faithfully. To see your idol, your celebrity crush stand right in front of you holding a cup of coffee and a scone sent you for a loop.

     "Of course," you had said, starry eyed. You were only hoping he was as kind as the interviews made him out to be. Maybe have a conversation with you and be polite for a while before leaving and never seeing each you again. That would be good enough.

     It didn't end with a coffee, it had just begun. He asked for your number, and you stared at him for a moment thinking you had imagined it. That was until he tilted his head a little and looked at you with a nervous expression. He backtracked and you immediately stopped him.

     "No! I mean— yes! Yes, you can absolutely have my number." You scrambled for a pen and paper and ended up scratching your number on a receipt from the record store. You shook so hard you could barely get the numbers down.

     Out of all the record store receipts you've stuffed into your bag, the one you gave Duff Mckagan had to be the one for when you bought Velvet Revolver's 'Contraband.' He didn't say anything, just smiled and promised to call.

     You honestly didn't think he would've. You played it off as just him trying to be nice. It didn't stop you from answering every call you got for the next three days, however, even if you recognized the number as the tax collector you'd normally never answer.

     But then he called.

     "I tried calling sooner, but I kept calling the wrong number. You don't have the most eligible handwriting," he had told you. You laughed but really, you were in shock.

     You set up a date at the fancy restaurant downtown that always intimidated you. You didn't say anything though, even though you knew you wouldn't want any of the overpriced food and you'd end up eating something you couldn't pronounce and was two portions too small. Maybe even hit up a fast food joint afterwards.

     When the day finally came, you couldn't even figure out what to wear. You couldn't tell if you looked underdressed or like you were trying too hard. Did the clothes even fit the right way? What would Duff think? Would he even care?

     All questions were answered when you left your house. Duff was leaning against his slick car parked in your driveway, a button up that was barely buttoned and dress pants with boots. He stared at you and you wanted a hole in the ground to shallow you up until he smiles.

     "You look gorgeous," he said. You blushed and grinned, thanking him before saying that he looked great too. He drove you to the restaurant and on the way, you talked about music.

     You shared some of your favorites, he adored how well rounded you were. You liked pretty much everything from punk rock to the mellowest of mellow. Duff mentioned some of his favorites, some you made sure to remember the names of so you can check them out.

     When the ride was over and you finally got to the restaurant, your previous fears came back. Duff reassured you looked better than 90% of the people there and you knew it wasn't true but it made you feel better anyway.

     Your eyes widened to the size of saucers when you saw the prices of the food. You knew it'd be pricey but you thought there'd be more options that stayed within two digit numbers.

     Duff saw your panicked expression and said not to worry, he'd pay. It didn't settle your nerves enough and when the waiter came, you ordered the cheapest and simplest thing you could find.

     "Chicken noodle soup?" He teased. You shyly looked down and shrugged. "This isn't your scene, is it?"

     "Not exactly, no."

     "Want me to be completely honest with you?" You nodded. "It's not mine either."

     That's all it took for you and Duff to scramble sheepishly out of the restaurant. You both shared a laugh in the car and went to Burger King. It was much more your speed and, as you'd find out that night, Duff's too. You suppose all the money he's had since such a young age didn't completely change his ways. He was like a kid trapped in a 40 year old man's body.

     You'd thought at first the age gap would feel strange, after all, you were 15 years younger than him. But after that night, it was barely noticeable. Funny looks from strangers every once in a while was nothing.

     By the second date, Duff was already aware fancy spots weren't your forte. He told you it was a surprise and to wear something cozy, as LA nights got chilly.

     He packed a picnic basket and drove you out to the most beautiful flower field you had ever seen at sunset. It was secluded and high up, giving a perfect view of the city skyline. After gawking and taking in the sights for a few moments, you regained your ability to speak.

     "It's gorgeous. Pretty far from the city, did you take me here to kill me?" You joked. He laughed and rolled his eyes. His lighthearted laugh sent sparks straight to your heart, and you decided that it was your favorite sound.

     You unfolded the blanket Duff brought and you both sat down. You ate the sandwiches and sliced fruit Duff packed and talked. You talked about everything, from your family to fears and insecurities.

You told him how you suffer from nightmares. Flashbacks from your broken childhood coming back to bite you in your sleep. Duff shared how he's suffered from panic attacks since he was a teenager. You felt you knew each other for years.

Neither of you felt weird for sharing and neither made the other insecure. You were completely open and honest with each other. It was strange, you've never connected to quickly and effortlessly with someone before. Sure, you've had men in your life, but never had you clicked with someone so fast, never had you fit with someone so perfectly.

Hours passed and it felt like minutes. Only did you realize how late and how exhausted you were when you saw most of the city buildings light have gone off for the night. The city that didn't sleep was dark.

"I should get you home," Duff said to you.

"Will you stay the night?" You felt a little silly for asking. Were things going too fast? Would he even want to stay over?

He agreed, and that's how your first night together went. You both stayed up even later and had more lighthearted conversations, unlike the ones that partook at the field. Like how one of Duff's first jobs was at a bakery and could bake a mean cake and how you can't cook to save your life.

You ended up waking up without remembering falling asleep. You're head was placed comfortably on Duff's lap while his head was lolled back against the couch cushion. He looked so serene and peaceful you couldn't help but smile at the sight.

You made toast and somewhat successfully cooked some eggs and bacon. It might have been the first breakfast in years that didn't end with the smoke alarm going off.

Duff eventually wandered into the kitchen and you both ate. By the time he left, another date was already set up. He was like a drug an you were already hooked.

Months later and the addiction still wasn't kicked. You didn't want to, and Duff didn't seem to want you to quit either. You both soaked each other up like the sun on a warm day.

You had almost weekly dates and you stayed over each other's houses almost every other day. Duff did have his kids some days, though, so some days dates were cut short or Grace and Mae slept over his house and you wouldn't see each other.

You were always understanding, his kids came first and you'd never blame or get upset about it. It's something Duff admires about you, your never ending understanding and empathy for him.

One of those days where Duff stayed over at your house started normal. He cooked dinner and you washed the dishes, and then you put on an old Ramones concert you had on DVD.

You were laying on his chest, his fingers running through your hair when all of a sudden, he tensed up. He quickly stood and excused himself to the bathroom. You frowned but before you could think much of it, you heard a loud bang and something clatter to the ground.

You jumped up and rushed to the bathroom. You swung open the door because you were perfectly aware the lock hasn't worked since you moved in.

Duff was sitting on the floor, a pill bottle laying on its side not far from him. You quickly spot the name of the medication and identified it as your anti-anxiety pills. You shoved them aside and sat next to Duff.

He was sweating bullets and his skin felt cold and clammy, his breaths were labored and heartbeat was loud and pounding erratically. You coax him gently to take deep breaths, holding onto his hand tightly and talking quietly.

"I'm sorry, they come on randomly sometimes," he apologized after he'd called down, but you quickly shushed him. You reminded him of just how many nightmares he'd comforted you for and he stops feeling so bad about it.

     It was always a true partnership with Duff. Never had you felt you gave or took too much, it was always equal. Always a two way street, with everything.

That wasn't the last panic attack you had to help him come down from. Later down the line you've gotten better at calming him down and learning his triggers, even though sometimes they really do come on suddenly without reason.

A year into the relationship was when you met Grace and Mae. They were young and didn't completely understand why their parents weren't together anymore, so it took them a while to warm up to you. Luckily, they eventually came around.

Duff and Susan met up regularly to discuss their kids and co-parent properly. And while you had all the reason to be jealous of your boyfriend with his ex wife, you never did. You had complete confidence in him, he was honest and loyal and you doubted he'd ever hurt you purposely.

That's why it destroyed you when he left you. Tears were shed from both parties as he gave his reasons for breaking up with you. His insecurities he tried his best to bury had come to light and nothing could change his mind.

You thought you were completely honest with each other, but you suppose his doubt in his relationship with you was the one thing he kept secret. He had somehow convinced himself you'd be better without him, between the constant touring and the baggage that came with him and his kids, he finally buckled under the weight and stress.

You had tried to convince him that he was worth it, but if Duff is one thing it's stubborn. The best relationship you'd ever have and the best year of your life went down the drain within the matter of one conversation.

You were down in the dumps for days. You barely left your bed and didn't ever leave your house. You were in a depression and couldn't get out. A few of your friends eventually found out what had happened and broke into your house and shoved you into the shower before taking you to your favorite Chinese restaurant.

You felt like a disaster. Your hair was ratted despite the shower and you refused to put real clothes on, instead wearing sweatpants and a shirt Duff had left behind. You were a mess.

The hole in the wall restaurant was never busy but always had the best food. You were almost happy your friends dragged you out of your home until you saw Duff sitting at a table, eating egg rolls and lo mein.

You've came here together all the time. The high sodium in the food always made him sick to his stomach and you'd always end up giving him nausea remedies and tea. He never changed his order though.

You locked eyes with him for a while. Dark bags were under his eyes and he looked more pale than usual. He looked as terrible as you felt. You weren't sure if you were spitefully glad he felt awful or if the despair on his face just made your heart break further.

When you couldn't take his intense jade stare anymore, you looked up at the menu. The next time you looked back he was gone, you weren't sure if he was really there at all or if you were finally losing your mind for good.

     Another week crawled by. You got better enough to continue working. You had to pick up extra time for calling out for a few days after the breakup. You wouldn't say things were going well, but you weren't crying in bed every day all day anymore.

     You had constant dreams about him. Some were nice, ones where he didn't leave and you were together, holding each other tightly. Most were nightmares, flashbacks of when he left. You didn't have him to comfort you anymore when you woke up soaked in sweat and tears, and that might've been the worst.

     Another week went by, and you were starting to get back into the swing of things. You still thought about him, even silly little things reminded you of him. Like when you would catch a sniff of freshly baked sweets like he'd bake you or certain songs playing on the radio. It also didn't help that you ran into people wearing Guns n Roses shirts on the daily.

     You also refused to get rid of anything he'd left behind. Tee shirts, guitar picks he left from when he'd play for you, or CDs from bands he introduced you to. Reminders of what you lost were scattered around your home but you couldn't bring yourself to do anything about it.

     Suddenly, it's been a month. You weren't over him, but you had a feeling you'd never be completely. He was something special, you can't forget things as special as your relationship with Duff.

     His items still weren't thrown out or returned, instead all packed in a box sitting in your closet. But you'd be lying if you said you would never reach into the box to grab a shirt to sleep in or a CD to listen to when you needed a reminder of the good times. You were making progress though.

     You decided to leave your house one evening. You were feeling especially terrible and wanted to take a walk to clear your head. You went to the coffee shop you had first met Duff in. Maybe it was a mistake to go and get a flood of memories but you couldn't stop yourself.

     You sat in a seat near the window and people watched, taking occasional sips of your drink. It was quiet except from the talk of the workers and the hum of the overhead speakers.

     There was a sudden squeak of a chair of hardwood floors and it broke you out of your daze. You snapped your gaze up to meet the very familiar green eyes you've been trying to forget.

     "Can we talk?" He asked, and you couldn't say 'no.' Duff sat across from you and started off by apologizing.

     He said he wanted to talk to you sooner, but was too afraid you wouldn't want anything to do with him. You rolled your eyes at that, if only he knew just how much you missed him.

     He then started from the beginning and explained why he made the decision to leave you. As it turns out, it was mostly because of stress. His bandmate Scott was having problems with drugs and the flashbacks from his GnR days frightened him. He was worried he would end up relapsing and he didn't want to drag you down with him.

     Combine that with all the troubles that came with dating a single father, and he couldn't take it anymore. He felt too guilty.

     It all seemed like ridiculous reasons to you. Even if he had made the mistake of falling off the wagon, you still would've stuck with him. And you didn't mind his kids at all, after nearly a year of knowing them and you were very close to them.

     "I love you, Duff. I wouldn't have left you over that, I'd help you through anything. And I love Grace and Mae, too," you told him.

     "I know, but I didn't want you to have to deal with all that baggage." You frowned at that. You reached your hand across the table and grasped his, squeezing it tenderly.

     "You're worth it."

     After that day, you and Duff started seeing each other again. It wasn't the same as before, but maybe even better.

     You were more transparent with each other. If one had a worry or problem, you'd go to the other. You talked everything through with him and he did the same. Even if it seemed insignificant, talking everything through never failed to make it better.

    You were happier and healthier than ever before. Sure, there were a roadblock or two, but they only made the relationship even stronger, and you wouldn't have changed a thing about it.

[dreamwritesimagines]

Burn The Witch 6 - The First Date [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s a surprise chapter to celebrate TFATWS starting, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.

Summary: First dates can end in strange ways.

Series Masterlist

Every agent in your division knew the Winter Soldier, the unstoppable assassin, the infamous ghost story, the man who had been fighting for over 80 years. He was a legend, and meeting him was something you were all taught to avoid ever since the espionage world had found out about his existence.

The last time, a whole team of heavily armed soldiers were sent to take him down and he had managed to disarm every single one of them without even needing a weapon. So theoretically if you were to send an agent to meet him, you would probably make sure that agent carried about a thousand weapons and preferably went there in a bulletproof vehicle.

Instead, you were told to wear a cute dress for the first date.

Lovely.

“How come I can’t wear any of my clothes?” you asked, pressing the phone to your ear as you took a look at all the dresses lying on your bed.

“Not that your sniper outfits aren’t hot, but wearing them to your first date with the Winter Soldier might not be the brightest idea.”

You heaved a sigh, “I still can’t believe you changed my whole wardrobe when I was outside, Chloe. What was wrong with my usual clothes?”

“They’re not what your cover would wear.”

“Uh huh.”

“Pick the one with those small flowers on it,” Chloe said, “Mini dress, chiffon. Cream colored.”

You hummed and grabbed the hanger, then held it over your body.

“Are we sure?”

“Trust me. Perfect for the first date.”

“Did mini dresses exist back in his time?” Keith’s voice reached you, making you frown, “Or was he born in those times with those giant dresses?”

“Excuse me, why am I on speaker?” you asked, “Also Keith, what are you doing in the headquarters? I need you and the team ready to interfere anytime.”

“I’m not in the headquarters, I was grabbing coffee and Chloe wanted to come with me. No worries though, we’re around your area.”

“Are you insane?” you snapped, “You brought her to the field?”

“We’re just getting coffee—“

“Chloe, get back to the headquarters,” you insisted, “Now.”

“No! You have a date, Keith gets to relax at this new café, and three of us can barely spend time together nowadays!” Chloe said, “It’s always you guys who have the fun.”

“Honey I’m on a date with the Winter Soldier so that I can gather intel, Keith is going to be at that café because he and the team needs to be nearby in case my cover is blown,” you said patiently, getting into the dress,  “It’s not like we’re hanging out without you.”

“Detail.”

“It’s not just a detail-“

“No I mean the security detail is ready.” Chloe cut you off, “I got my laptop with me, I hacked into the café’s wifi.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, “You did what?”

“Yeah I figured I could use a change of scenery and Keith said yes.”

“Keith, I need you to listen to me carefully,” you said, “I’m going to kill you.”

“Y/N!”

“You can’t kill me.”

“Can’t I though?”

“Yeah you have a date, remember?”

You checked your wristwatch and cussed under your breath, rushing to put your shoes on.

“I put a small gadget into your wristwatch,” Chloe said, “I figured he’d recognize the ring if he saw it again. If you press the button there, the team will be called to your location shortly.”

“And if things get exciting, make sure to take the watch off,” Keith let out a laugh, “You don’t want us to interrupt your fun over an accident.”

“It’s just the first date, idiot.”

“Yeah and I’m—I’m sure there’s a rule against killing on the first date.” Chloe said, “Right?”

“Nah I killed a target on the first date before,” you mumbled, “But I wasn’t told to get into a relationship back then so… It’ll be different this time.”

“Try not to give the guy whiplash though, will you?” Keith said and you frowned.

“What does that mean?”

“It means dating etiquette changed since 1940s.”

“Oh don’t worry, I got that covered,” you said but your head shot up when you heard the doorbell ring. “I have to go.”

“Okay, but—“

“No time Keith,” you murmured, walking to the door. Your heart was pacing against your chest for some reason as if it was a real first date, and you swung the door open to reveal Bucky waiting for you at your doorstep. He put his hands into his leather jacket, taking in your appearance.

“You know what to do if you get in trouble.” Keith said and you hung up quickly to push your phone into your purse, smiling wide at Bucky.

“Hi!” you said, “Shall we?”

                                                         ***

Now to think of it,  the last time you had been on a date without carrying any weapons had to be ten years ago if not more. But you had clear orders for this one, your superiors were convinced that carrying any kind of gun or a dagger would alert him, even if you thought it was invisible to outsider eye.

After all, he was an assassin and looking for weapons on a person from miles away was second nature for assassins.

You would know.

“So you moved here a month ago and you just know one place?” he asked as you waited for the barista to prepare your coffee, “A coffee shop? That’s it?”

“I know a milkshake shop too.”

He tilted his head, “You mean where you work?”

“That still counts,” you defended yourself “But if you insist, I might let you show me around next time.”

“Please do,” he said, “Just a heads up though, there’s a huge possibility that most of the places I know has been closed down years ago.”

“Oh that’s okay,” you told him as the barista put your coffees in front of you. “We can explore the new sights together then.”

A smile graced his lips while he led you to the table furthest from the window facing the door and you had to suppress your grin.

You weren’t the only one who was scanning the cafe for possible emergency exits and safest spots after all. Sitting by the window was a civilian mistake because in case of a shooting, you’d be in the clear sight for the shooter.

You had a feeling not many people considered that possibility on a first date.

“That sounds good,” he pulled your chair for you and you paused only for a moment before taking your seat.

Right. Born in a different era.

He took off his leather jacket and your gaze wandered off to his vibranium arm before snapping back to his eyes. He was watching you with his brows slightly raised, as if waiting to see your reaction.

“Sorry!” You said quickly, “I���m sorry, I just…”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Bucky—“

“Really,” he assured you, “Don’t worry.”

You took a deep breath, pushing your behind your ear.

“So, it’s good to meet in a place that looks like it belongs to 21st century isn’t it?”

He hissed in a breath, a mischievous light glimmering in his blue eyes “Do you want me to be honest?”

“Brutally honest.”

“I would be lying if I said I don’t miss the uniform.”

Your jaw dropped before a smile spread over your lips, “Look at that,” you said, “Told you you weren’t rusty.”

He chuckled, “I’d hope not.”

“And hey, if you miss how it was back then, some things aren’t that different than 40s,” you said, cradling the warm cup in your hands. He tilted his head.

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

“Like what?”

“You know, I’m glad you asked because I actually did research in case it came up.”

He lowered his cup, “You did what?”

“Um… do you promise not to be intimidated if I am brutally honest?”

He leaned in, eyes locked to yours, “Cross my heart.”

“I did research,” you nodded, making him let out a small laugh. “No wait, listen— I just… I didn’t google you or stalk you over Instagram so I had to prepare myself in a different way.”

“I know some of those words,” he pointed out and you took a deep breath.

“It means I didn’t look you up.” you said, “When I was sixteen, I promised myself I wouldn’t look anyone up before the first date but that rule doesn’t extend to doing general research.”

“You didn’t look me up?” he asked and you shook your head.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I like getting to know people on my own,” you said, “I’m not really interested in people’s pasts, does that make sense?”

He stared at you for a couple of seconds, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Maybe not,” you admitted, “But I’ll do it anyway. Trusting people is kind of my thing, past or not. I’d rather be mistaken than prejudiced.”

A silence fell upon him as if he was astounded and you rested your chin on your fist, keeping your eyes on him.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he said after a beat, “Nothing at all.”

“So—anyways, some things aren’t that different,” you said, leaning back, “Some details, that is. People still— we still go to movie theatres, that was a big thing back then too right?”

“Oh absolutely,” he said, “For first dates too.”

“We still wear hats sometimes,” you counted with your fingers, “Some people still prefer to call their partners daddy—in a different context, don’t google that— and we still have jello.”

“I heard about that,” he mused, a playful smile on his lips, “The jello, that is.”  

You grinned, scrunching up your nose.

“So yeah. There’s your crash course.”

“I appreciate it,” he said with a chuckle, “And hey, if it makes you feel any better I didn’t google you either.”

“Because you don’t know how?”

“Because I don’t know how,” he admitted, “I should probably start making a list, I keep asking Sam about some pretty common information.”

“Really?”

“Yeah I mean—for example, I don’t know if it’s still acceptable to bring a gal-a girl,” he corrected himself and cleared his throat, “Flowers for the first date.”

“You were going to bring me flowers?”

“Yeah! Yeah . I was going to actually, then Sam said it was old fashioned. Sharon said it was a good idea, but…”

You furrowed your brows, “Okay let me get this straight, you listened to your friend who’s a guy and not your other friend who’s a girl. About what girls like on the first date.”

A look of realization dawned on his face, “That might not have been the brightest idea now that you mentioned it.”

“No disrespect to Captain America but he might need to work on his romance skills,” you pointed out and took a sip of your coffee.

“How about you?” he asked, “What’s your story?”

I was recruited at the age of 16, just last year I took down a whole team of bad guys all by myself, I could probably kill someone in 5 different ways using this coffee cup and spoon alone.

Or not.

You had been over this. You had a full file back at home filled with details of your new identity, designed to look unsuspicious.

“There’s not much to tell I’m afraid,” you muttered, “I grew up in a small town. Everyone knew each other, and I thought it was nice, until my grandmother passed away. Then there were way too many people asking me if I was okay. In the grocery store, on my way to work… I just wanted to get away.”

“I know the feeling,” he said softly and you nodded.

Of course he did. This whole identity was fabricated for him after all.

“So I figured I could move away,” you said, “There was nothing to keep me there after all. I lost my parents when I was little, that was the reason why my grandmother took me in.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Oh don’t be,” you said quickly, “Really. They just….”

My mom died in a car crash when I was 5, and one day I came home from school and my father was nowhere to be found.

Neither was his suitcase.

You had to give it to him, he had bothered to write you a note. If you could call that a note.

The infamous genius scientist had nothing to say other than he was sorry. You had burned that note that night, along with every picture in the family album.

“There was a car accident,” you tried to smile, ignoring the bitter taste at the back of your throat, “Drunk driver, came out of nowhere. They both died on impact, that’s what everyone says. I don’t remember them much.”

A silence fell upon you for a moment and you took a deep breath.

“Anyways,” you managed to say, “Enough about me. What about you?”

He paused before turning the cup between his hands, “That’s kind of a long story,” he said, making you arch a brow to shoot him a look.

“Well as it happens, my milkshake making schedule just cleared out.” you stated, making him smile, “We have unlimited coffee and time. Bring it on.”

                                               ***

Well, you didn’t know what you had expected but it wasn’t this. Considering he was under the impression that you were a civilian, of course he didn’t tell you any gory or top secret details but he didn’t try to make himself look innocent either, or any different than he was.

He was as sincere as an ex-assassin could be.

Cover or not, this was probably the best date you had ever been. In fact, after the first half an hour you almost forgot that it was fake, that you were supposed to dig for information instead of enjoying yourself.

You were still playing your part but it didn’t exactly feel like work.

“So no to motorcycles?” Bucky asked as you turned around to look at him better while you walked backwards.

“No to motorcycles!” you exclaimed, “Those things are deathtraps.”

“So when you said you couldn’t get on it because of your dress….”

“It wasn’t a complete lie,” you motioned at your dress, “Half because of the dress, half because I don’t want to die.”

“Do you seriously believe I’d let that happen?”

“Maybe.”

“Mmm and what was it you said earlier?” he taunted you, “About trusting people?”

“I trust people,” you insisted, “I don’t trust death machines, there’s a difference.”

Well, he didn’t need to know you had a motorcycle in Chloe’s garage.

“Here we are,” you pointed at the building standing a couple of feet away from you, “My apartment. See, I told you it was close. No reason for putting our lives in danger when we can just walk.”

“Does that mean I can’t show you around the city the next time?”

“On a motorcycle?”

“Mm hm.”

“I don’t—that’s a terrible….” You heaved a dramatic sigh, “Hypothetically speaking, what would I get in return?”

His smile was calm, almost amused, “What do you want to get in return?”

You crossed your arms, looking up at the sky as if you were deep in thought, completely aware of his gaze on you.

“Flowers,” you said after a beat, “I didn’t even know they were an option but now that I know, I want flowers.”

“Is that it?” he asked, “It’s ‘a death machine’, but flowers are enough to convince you?”

“Depends,” you mused silkily, a complete opposite of the wide-eyed look in your eyes as you batted your lashes, “What else do you want me to want?”

A shadow moved behind his gaze only for a moment before it disappeared again but it was more than enough time for you to see it, and that was when you realized that there was a reason why Chloe had sent you that file.

Bucky Barnes wasn’t completely a stammering love-struck puppy when it came to flirting. While it was true that he could be a little rusty –you didn’t know how he was back in the 40s-, he also knew when to stop talking to see how far you would go in this game.

He was letting you play and think you were in control before making his move.

Patience of a sniper.

“Um- thank- thank you for tonight,” you said, averting your glances as if you were embarrassed under his gaze, playing it coy, “I had so much fun.”

“Me too,” he said, “The next one will include flowers, I promise.”

You let out a nervous giggle and stepped closer to him before you stood on your tiptoes and pressed a kiss on his cheek. He inhaled your scent deeply, probably not even aware of what he was doing but you tried to hide your smile.

It was on the file Chloe had prepared about him. Bucky Barnes liked the scent of vanilla.

“Be careful riding that death machine,” you told him, biting on your lip before you made your way to the building. You hopped on the stairs to push the exterior door to get into the building, and pressed a hand on your chest, closing your eyes.

Why were you so giddy all of a sudden?

You threw your shoulders back and got into the elevator to press on the button to your floor. As soon as the elevator started to move, your reflection in the mirror caught your attention and you tilted your head.

Chloe had a point, it was a nice dress.

The elevator made a small noise and the doors slid open for you to pass, but when you entered the hall you stopped dead on your tracks. There were four agents waiting on your doorstep and before you could question what was happening, one of the doors in the hallways opened and Keith stepped out.

“Be careful riding that death machine?” he asked, “I could tell you the same thing but you didn’t invite him up here.”

“I wasn’t wearing a wire, how did you-?”

“We had a car around the corner just in case,” he said “You’d be surprised how far we can hear with these new gadgets.”

“I told everyone we can’t—“ you stopped yourself, taking a deep breath. “What are you doing here and why are there agents at my doorstep?”

He grinned at you, “How do you feel about being neighbors?”

“I feel fuck no about it, and why are there agents—“

“General is waiting for you in your apartment.”

Your heart dropped to your stomach, “What?” you asked as you walked past him and opened the door to your apartment, then stepped in.

“General?” you rasped out as you walked into the living room to find him there, sitting by himself.

“Shrike,” he greeted you, “Good evening.”

You tried to smile, “Good evening sir.”

“I wanted to see how the mission was going,” he said, “Your team says it’s been very successful so far.”

“It’s going according to plan sir, yes.”

“This was what, your first date?”

You licked your dry lips, commanding yourself to be calm. “Yes.”

He hummed and stood up, running a hand over his gray beard, his eyes darting around the room.

“Y/N,” he murmured, making your head shot up at hearing your name instead of your alias. “It’s possible that the last time we talked face to face about your mission, I came across a little…uncaring. I want you to know that it’s not easy for me either.”

You stared at him, completely dumbfounded.

“You’re like a daughter to me,” he said, “For me, putting you on this mission was no different than sending Chloe into Barnes’s bed. Granted you have an edge and proper training for field missions like these unlike her, but…”

Right. Manipulation of Enemy.

A.k.a the seduction class.

Your superior had almost failed you in that class.

“But all your superiors in the division is aware of your success so far,” he said, “There has been no hiccups, nothing to alert him which is a surprise. You’re playing your role well, and we will keep that in mind after this mission is over. You’re at the top of our list for possible handlers.”

For the first time in your life, that didn’t make you fill with excitement for some reason. You frowned at yourself and plastered a smile on your face.

“Thank you sir.”

“Anything you would like to report so far?”

“I’m going slowly in order to make sure I gain his trust,” you said, “But sir, there’s a reason why I didn’t even wear my earpiece tonight. Barnes is a pro, anything could make him suspicious and putting agents in cars to listen to us… That could go wrong.”

“You want to be completely alone on this mission?”

“I still want to have my team, but I want them to be completely invisible. I already have a tracker and an emergency signal on my wristwatch, but unless I specifically call for them, they need to be away. I can’t risk anyone compromising my cover, even if it’s unintentional by my team.”

He thought for a moment, “I see,” he said, “You make a good point. I’ll make the necessary adjustments.”

“Thank you General.”

He squeezed your upper arm as if trying to assure you and walked to the door, then turned around.

“Shrike?”

“Yes sir?”

“You’ve heard what happened to Marco, right?” he asked, “He was one of our best agents but got too involved in his seduction mission.”

You swallowed thickly, “I heard he’s missing.”

A small smile pulled at his lips, “That’s right. He was removed from his mission, then went missing.”

Killed.

He was killed by the agency when he fell for his target and both of you knew that.

“That’s unfortunate,” you managed to say and he nodded.

“It is,” he said, “Don’t make the same mistake. Actions have consequences.”

With that, he left your apartment and you let out a breath as you fell back to sit on the couch, your hands shaking.

“Yeah,” you muttered to yourself, “Yeah they do.”

Chapter 7 

[spencersmagic]

greet me with goodbye - part 7 of 505.

masterlist // 505 series // taglist

summary: the last minutes in their relationship were always going to hurt. they just didn’t know it would hurt this much

couple: fem reader x spencer reid

category: pure angst.

warnings: no happy ending YET. i will be posting the second part, where there will be a happy ending, but for now its sad. mentions of insecurity and self-doubt, relationships falling apart, love deteriorating in a way that you could only describe in detail if you've seen two divorces in your lifetime and have had plenty of time to question whether love is rotten because its love or if it rots because of carelessness. i, as a self-preserving genius, choose nº2.

words: 2.1k

time to read: 12 minutes.

this fic describes love deteriorating in a way that you could only describe in detail if you've seen two divorces in your lifetime and have had plenty of time to question whether love is rotten because its love or if it rots because of carelessness. i, as a self-preserving genius, choose nº2.

i do want to say, though, that any type of feelings or thoughts are best when expressed. tell him that what he did to you was wrong. tell her that her behaviour hurt you. tell them you've fallen for them. subtext gets us nowhere.

***

Their relationship had become clumsy.

But not in the sweet way. The way they spoke to each other didn’t resemble the first steps a foal takes. Their arms weren’t learning their way around their world anymore. They weren’t studying how each other’s heartbeat sounded at their touch, their words, in the form of a whisper that promised the world. They weren’t clumsily hugging each other, turning into a tight embrace once their arms found their place.

It was more of a carelessness. The feeling that they were constantly avoiding a conversation, that dark matter between their hearts that only seemed to grow. Like two magnets similarly charged, they would always leave a sacred space between each other, only coming into close proximity of each other when absolutely necessary. Still, she still noticed him pulling away.

Or at least that’s what Y/N felt.

Her heart had always been filled with fear: fear of the unknown, of being too loud, of being too present, too absent, too much. And when she felt him pulling away, she felt her heart being pulled apart. But, what else could she do? She’d given him everything. She’d given so much of herself to him, in hopes of being enough. The idea that Spencer was pulling away because of something she’d done, made Y/N sick to the stomach.

Because, day after day, night after night, she would wake up and he would be gone. And he would be asleep by the time she came back from work, not to mention the avoidance she was shown by the resident genius in the bullpen.

Y/N wasn’t going to be the type of person that forces herself onto someone that doesn’t want anything to do with her. She is a lot of things; strong, caring, independent, intelligent and, above all, observing. If he wants to greet her with goodbye, if he wants to show her disregard in the form of over-the-shoulder, rushed, tiny hello’s and dismissive gestures, she’s not going to act any other way.

He treated her like she was poison. She had given him nothing but honey and kindness, but he treated her like all she had to offer him was ulcers and dry mouth.

**

Sleepless nights holding each other slowly became restless nights hugging themselves in hopes of finding comfort in their own embrace.

He started staying up on the couch. She acted like it was a mistake, like she knew he didn’t mean to fall asleep so far away from her. He was grateful for this.

Because every time their hands would brush up against each other, she would feel the same spark she’s been feeling for the past two years. And he would feel anxiety creep up from his toes, spreading all over his limbs and heart.

He didn’t like the feeling. He especially didn’t like where it came from.

So, he minimized the amount of physical proximity they had together, until it escalated to taking turns on the couch, pairing up with anybody else during cases, and handing information that was pertinent to the case through Penelope.

It’s better this way, he reminded himself through every breathing moment, it’s better this way.

**

Spencer had made the following calculations.

If he distances himself from her enough to be convincing, The Woman would either think that Spencer loves her, thus leaving the love of his life alone, to live in peace. Perhaps she would find someone who wouldn’t put her in danger as much as Spencer did. Perhaps he would make her smile in the way he hadn’t been able to in the past three weeks. No matter how heartbreaking the thought was, he knew for a fact that his heart would be crushed forever if Y/N spent the last moments of her life at the unfortunate end of the barrel of a shaking gun in the hands of The Woman, as she had introduced herself.

The first option, though more appealing, is still not enough to keep her safe. He needed to make sure that, at the end of the day, she would be able to come home, and he wouldn’t have the aching feeling inside of his chest where something like that could happen again.

**

Y/N was known to sleep through anything. She’d slept through 76% of their flights, making her the highest ranked among the team, as Spencer had calculated once after having one too many drinks. She had fallen asleep in bars when their friends had dragged them out for drinks. She had fallen asleep in bullpens, cars and helicopters.

It wasn’t a surprise that she could sleep through a call between Spencer and The Woman, as she had a sniper pointer aimed at her chest through the window.

The call, which he didn’t even want to think about, had started everything. It had started his sleepless nights; it had started his paranoia and fear of being seen with her. It had created a distance between the two of them that could only be mended once The Woman was apprehended, or dead.

Spencer preferred the last.

He had never felt such anger. Spencer wasn’t the type to hate, but when she saw the way The Woman had been smirking at him, hands firm but careless, as she grasped her weapon from the house balcony diagonal to them, he could only think the darkest thoughts. Terrible ideas came to mind, of torture and endless pain, where she was at the other end.

She had asked him how she looked. She had even posed for him as he sobbed quietly. He could only dream of exactly how good she’d look surrounded by the prettiest flowers, in a casket.

He wanted to hurt her. In ways he’d never dreamt of hurting anybody before.

**

From that moment on, he had been texted from an unknown caller. She had been making requests. Spencer, won’t you buy me a beautiful dress? Spencer, it’s our anniversary, I expect a gift. And the latest. Spencer, buy me flowers, won’t you? I’ve had a terrible day.

So he had gone out. Done all these things she wanted, out of pure fear. Because every time he closed his eyes, he would see the red dot around Y/N’s chest. He would see the way her soft breath made her chest rise and fall as she slept a dreamless sleep. And it paralyzed him.

Spencer had been feeling observed for the past three weeks. Every time she called, her language always indicated that she was somewhere close, watching: a comment about how handsome he looked, how sad Y/N looked traveling alone in the metro, how much his shirt complimented his eyes. So, how could he even think about talking to Hotch, or Prentiss, or anybody else about what was going on? She seemed to creep up in every corner he would turn, every store he would walk into. Every breathing minute had her voice stamped on it.

Spencer walked into their apartment. It felt like a chill rushing onto him, like a ghost walking through him. Perhaps he had, once again, forgotten to call their HVAC repairman. He had been doing that for a while now, as Y/N would note: forgotten to make an effort for her, to fight for her.

Maybe, just maybe, it was the change in scenery. The warmth that usually rushed onto both of them, in the form of hugs and physical care, the smell of freshly baked cookies, or candles, or incense, or anything that said I care about this space, and I care about you.

But that was long gone. Forgotten.

He had expected Y/N to be sleeping. Or at least, pretending to sleep. But as he walked in, he saw her cooking. She was cooking Rossi’s pasta, a dish they had all been taught one day when Rossi invited them for “family bonding time”.

Only she wasn’t cooking. Upon further inspection Spencer realized that she was leaning over the sink. Hyperventilating.

He wanted to rush to her side. To hug her and tell her that everything would be alright. That soon, he would give her everything. He would be there next to her every night, loving her, showing her just how much she’s worth in his eyes. But he can’t do such thing. Not when She could be close, watching.

“Y/N? What is wrong?” he kept his voice as monotonous as possible, and it broke her heart further. It destroyed the last hope it held. Selfishly, naïvely, even, she thought that he would rush to her side, to hug her, tell her he’s sorry for what he’s done. Hell, even to explain just why he was treating her like she was nothing but an inconvenience.

“I can’t do this anymore, Spencer. You know I can’t. It’s not who I am” she whispered between soft sobs.

All he wanted to do was tell her how much he loved her. That he never wanted to hurt her. He wanted to explain the situation at hand, that he’s cooking up a plan and that, once The Woman disappears, they can go back to normal. But he stood there, emotionless. Like he was looking right past her.

She grabbed her coat, put on her boots and rushed out. Not another word was wasted in the rotten relationship that they had wanted to let flourish in that apartment.

He watched her leave before everything settled. Like dust - like tiny particles that had accumulated due to the carelessness, lack of trying.

**

When they started their relationship, Spencer had gone out of his way to make her feel loved.

He knew how much she had worked to get to where she is in terms of self-confidence and love. He knew just how hard it had been for her, because Spencer had been there every step of the way. He had loved her through every moment where she couldn’t love herself. He had introduced her to the world of affirmations, and how important it is for her to remind herself every single morning that she’s worthy of love, that she is allowed to take up space and that she’s beautiful.

After their first fight, which was instigated by the feeling she constantly had of not feeling enough, resulting in some harmful words said and some feelings left unexpressed, he made sure she knew just how much he loved her. He told her my love, I will love you until my heart stops beating. And, if, for any reason, I change my mind, which I know wont happen, I will immediately tell you. Until then, I will love you as much as you need. But you need to remind yourself, too.

As she walked out of the doorway, she affirmed once again.

Spencer is my boyfriend, he loves me, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me. She added, he’s right behind me. He’s following me out because he cares about us, and wants to fight for what we have.

But as she turned around, he was gone.

And she was left only with the constant reminder that the embrace of the coat she had picked out could never replace the feeling of his arms around her, soothing her.

**

After what felt like forever, but was probably sometime around two hours, she decided to walk back to their shared apartment.

She had cried, called Penelope to tell her what happened, lied down on the grass looking up at the stars in that park they went on a picnic to during one of their first dates. She had screamed in anger, and kicked the ground, and cried over an ant she had stepped on accidentally.

She had made decisions. Decisions to go back, to leave him, make a bag with all of her belonging, the things that she had picked out to nourish an environment and relationship that was bound to fail. And she would leave.

But, as Y/N walked back, she found the front door open, the apartment trashed in a way that screamed threat, and a promise in the form of a note.

I know where you are. If you come looking for him, I will kill you both.

ºººººººººº

if you liked it, please consider liking and reblogging, or sending me an message.

super cool kid taglist: @lady-anon-x @username2002 @eoupe @galaxydefenderjulia @spencerreid-mgg @spenxerslut @urie-bowie-mercury @onyourfingertips @big-galaxy-chaos @fiftyshadesofspencerreid @tbuhgs @jswessie187

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i love you all. stay happy, healthy and safe. 🤍🫂

[mrskurono]

title: ｆｅｒｔｉｌｉｔｙ　；| Rintarou Suna x Fem!Reader a/n: here I go again, comfort writing with Suna. And bc my notes have taken a dip and no one likes to reblog stuff anymore I’ll probably never open requests again and just write for myself  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ word count: 1.4k tags: timeskip (duh). real life situations, established relationship (your married), language, fertility issues (either Suna has low sperm count or reader has PCOS reader’s choice I didn’t specificy), medical terminology/situations, angsty, fluffy, IUI, vent writing ish, nothing bad happens just trying to get pregnant unconventionally, unedited character(s): Rintarou Suna (hq)

“As soon as you quit trying it’ll happen!”

“We didn’t even have to think about it and wow three kids later!”

“Your young don’t stress about it!”

“But you don’t look like it’s hard.”

You stare up at a mostly white wall. Textured fine and certainly not as renovated as the lobby. It still feels oddly like home even with the disposable blanket draped over your naked lower half. Perhaps what made it really feel like home was Rintarou’s hand on your thigh.

Staring long gone as your eyes drop onto the dark haired man who’s stare was directed at the closed door. He’s quiet. As always but you’re unsure to attribute it to the fact it was before nine A.M, or because the nurse practitioner said they were going to get the specimen. 

“Third times the charm you know,” Rintarou’s voice surprises you. Even though you were staring right at him. When he spoke facing away you couldn’t help but jump. His hand squeezing your thigh tight.

You’re quiet for a second. Third time was supposedly the charm. For a second you wonder how many friends, family and acquittances might have had the same thought.

A sigh leaves you and like the other attempts before you finally relax back into the exam chair, “We were in this room the first time right?”

Rintarou looks at the tapestry on the wall directly behind the two of you. Dark brows pinching a little he thinks for a second, “...I thought the first room had the quilt thing with kids hand paints on it?”

“There’s the flower one I think.” You mention the other piece of art you can vividly recall.

“Was it these or was it that flower one that looks like a vagina that was the first room.”

“Rintarou those were labias.”

“Yeah, and the other one looked like balls.”

“Oh but you remember the pussy looking one?”

“You mean labias.”

You squint your eyes at him and wordlessly mouth a mockery towards him. Forgetting for a second how nervous you were. He doesn’t forget how nervous you are though. Rintarou takes the mocking tease in stride when he bends down and presses a kiss to your scrunched forehead. Timing impeccable as always for the middle blocker as the nurse comes back in just as he stands back up.

Just like the three times before, the nurse stands with awfully ugly blue gloves on, the thickest looking catheter you ever swore you saw and papers clasped in their other hand. And just like the other times there was always a spiel to go with it all.

“Are we ready?” They looked at both you and your husband. Rintarou remained quiet but with a deep breath you nodded, “Good. Well- As always-” They hand the sealed and capped syringe to Rintarou, “You know the drill, body temp so if you don’t mind holding onto this.”

He nods. An otherworldly feeling to be holding onto what was basically the essence of his semen. But the tight grip the EJP middle blocker held it with was far more tight than any volleyball he’d ever held. 

“Here’s the papers as always,” The nurse wheeled over to your side of the exam chair in the small room, “Mobility looked great today. A 3.7 for them. Um- Unthawed at 6:34 this morning after the call, everyone looked lively in there and all there’s left to do is send them on their way! Are you ready?”

You take a deep breath. Looking at your nurse. Then looking to Rintarou. The hand on your thigh no longer there. Instead he’d taken your hand in his the second he was handed the sperm. You nod and squeeze his hand before looking at the nurse, “Third times the charm.”

There’s a faint smile on your husband’s face. Something you hadn’t seen once at these appointments. The way it tugs on the corner of his lips and Rintarou looks down at you even as someone gets between your legs, you can’t help but laugh to yourself. You’d be fucking him right now for that smile if there wasn’t KY jelly being smeared on your vaginal opening in preparation for a speculum to being inserted.

“Any plans for the rest of the day?” Utter casualness as someone only a little more than an acquaintance pulls your labias back right in front of your husband.

“Breakfast probably.” You look up at Rintarou who nods, “And then absolutely nothing.”

“Oh no practice today then?” Your overly friendly nurse glances up to Rintarou as the metal dipped down into you. 

It’s uncomfortable. Certainly not something you’d ever want to add to your bedroom antics. Each touch of their glove around your bits and pieces is something your not sure you can get use to but as they crank it to latch and your left knowing your cervix is exposed as Rintarou hands them the syringe, there’s something so strange. Your not sure you have an emotion for it actually.

“I just take them off normally,” Rintarou answers the person who’s now readying a thin catheter full of your husband’s separated and washed sperm to be inserted into your uterus on a Thursday morning. And Rintarou is talking to him like he does Motoya at the end of practice like its nothing.

“A couple this morning said they were going to try the new bakery down town,” Their hand goes to your thigh to let them know they’re going to touch you, “Alright deep breath, just a little discomfort and cramp.”

This is always the time you fall silent. Eyes fixated up on the ceiling even as you death grip Rintarou’s hand. It’s not a poke. Not like a needle. It’s cramp worthy but at the same time it’s so foreign that by the time it’s all said and done. They’re tossing the empty contain into the hazard bin and taking off their gloves.

“We have a shop we really like,” Rintarou replies calmly even though you’re sure your crushing his hand, “But I think I heard of the place.”

“Well-” The nurse smiled with their fingers crossed, “Here’s to hoping I can tell you about the bakery in two weeks.” 

They of course remind you of the drill. No checking before two weeks. False positives are rampant then. You get handed the papers. Which Rintarou always takes for you as you lay there on the exam table. Told to take your time for the ten minute wait period and then feel free to get dressed and head out. And like always you thank the person who just shot your husband’s sperm directly into your cervix.

Ten minutes. Then you could leave. 

Ten minutes you might as well sit in silence.

“...third times the charm you know,” Rintarou reminds you, as well as himself, after the nurse left. Big hand still clasped over yours as you lay there on the exam table.

“...I can feel lube stuck all over me,” You grimace at the coolness. It certainly is the same lube you use at home. An attempt to make this all more light hearted at best but it quickly falls flat.

You think for a second. All that advice you’ve gotten as you both try for your first. Don’t use lube. Use lube. Don’t do it on a Tuesday. Do it on a Tuesday. Don’t eat spicy. Ok maybe eat spicy. It all filters into your mind as you lay holding your husband’s hand in the stillness of the clinic room.

Rintarou snaps you out of it when he leans over. All 6′3 of him bent in half as he rests his ear against your chest and looks up at you.  Giant ass head in the middle of your chest and looking up at you. God he looks uncomfortable like that. But doesn’t budge an inch. Instead bringing your hand up to his lips and kissing your knuckles gently.

“Boy or girl?” You ask him the same question as the two times before.

He shakes his head. Lifting himself up to lean down and kiss your lips softly, “Doesn’t matter to me as long as it’s a baby.”

His assurance makes you sigh. Undoubtedly he was nervous too. At least here he kept it together. Though you were sure the staff probably thought your husband was a mute for the most part. You knew different. 

Reaching up you cup his face and bring him down for one more kiss, “...Here’s to the third time.”

[mochegato]

I Can’t Fight This Feeling

Chapter 3

Chapter 1     Chapter 2

He just came here for a fucking break.  Somewhere none of the people he normally works with would be caught dead.  Which is the only reason he was in an art museum right now.  Because Black Mask aside, none of Gotham’s rogues or henchmen had the slightest interest in art and Black Mask would never deign to be in the presence of Gotham’s unwashed masses.

So here, this place, it was a safe haven.  A relaxing place.  A place where he could let his mind wander and his guard down, as much as you could anywhere in Gotham.  It had absolutely nothing to do with the painting of a dark haired, blue eyed woman glancing hopefully into the distance that he had been staring at for the last hour, the same painting he ended up in front of every time he visited.

But his peaceful reprieve was being intruded upon.  He couldn’t see the person, but he could feel their eyes boring into him.  They’ve been on him for at least the last ten minutes.  That meant it was more than just someone who wanted to hit on him. They would have made their move already. He would give them five more minutes to move on before he acted, but he could feel his rage rising with each passing second.  

After another five minutes, he rounded on them, ready to threaten them until they regretted even breathing in the same building as him.  “What are you fucking…” he hissed out, but his anger dissipated when he was met with the same blue eyes that had consumed his mind for the last hour. Or rather, if he were being honest, for the last three years.  “…looking… at.”

“Oh, sorry,” her eyes widened in surprise before she looked away awkwardly. “That must have seemed so creepy. It’s just… you look so familiar?  I could swear I know you from somewhere.” Her eyes returned to his, searching them for familiarity.

He stared at her wide eyed.  She couldn’t be here.  Why would she be here… in Gotham.  She didn’t belong in Gotham.  She was supposed to stay in Paris where it was safe, now that Hawkmoth was gone and the League couldn’t track her, where she could stay innocent.  “Marinette,” he breathed out.  

She gave him a brilliant smile and let out a relieved breath.  “Oh good.  You do know me.”  She laughed nervously.  “I’ve never remembered anyone from that time before.  And it has to be from that time, right?  Otherwise I’d remember how I know you.”

“What are you doing here?”  He continued to stare at her still in a haze.  She had somehow gotten even more beautiful in the last few years, her eyes brighter.  God, they had always been mesmerizing, but now they were positively hypnotic.  Maybe that had more to do with getting away from the Hawkmoth situation, being free again, not bogged down by the responsibility of protecting millions of people as a child, being in a whole new time in her life.  He was so lost in thought, it took a second for her words to register.  “What do you mean ‘that time’?”

“I was looking for a little design inspiration.”  Her voice was unsteady, slightly shaking.  She tapped her fingers together nervously.  “I have, um… a commission I need to figure out and homework and I have no idea what to do for the homework.  The direction was so vague or maybe it wasn’t and it’s just me.  It’s just not something that registers with me, you know.”  Her voice became stronger as she babbled.  “Like, I can design a thousand dresses based on a flower, or the rain, or a building, but design based on a heart?  I can’t do it.  Ask for something based on a star?  I got it. A circle?  Hundreds of designs.  A square?  Got that too. Even a triangle would be fun.  But a heart?  So cliché.”

“I meant,” he interrupted harsher than he intended to.  He let his voice soften.  “What are you doing in Gotham?”

“Oh!” Her eyes widened in surprise and embarrassment.  “I go to school here.  My best friend and I moved here last year for school.  I go for design.  He wants to be a teacher.”

“In Gotham?” he asked incredulously.  “Of all the places you could have gone, why Gotham?”

She tilted her head to the side in consideration, weighing her words carefully. It was the first time since they started talking that her body seemed to relax.  He studied her body language a bit more.  No, not relax, slump.  Her shoulders slumped as she thought of the reason that brought her here.  “Because Gotham doesn’t judge,” she answered quietly. “Because you can just disappear in Gotham.  No matter your past, as long as you aren’t actively trying to hurt them, nobody cares. There’s no hostile looks, no glares, no thinly veiled insults or completely unveiled insults.  You can just be.”

Jason’s heart clenched and his anger started to build.  He took a step closer to her.  “Why was that important to you?  Who was looking at you like that?”  He kept his voice even and calm, but he was sure his eyes were starting to show hues of green edging in.

She shook her head and looked down.  “Not me.  My best friend.  He tried moving to London and New York, but it just… seemed to follow him everywhere he went.  I mean he still had all his friends but… they started getting into trouble too because they were getting into fights defending him and… yeah.  So we applied to transfer here and both got accepted to our different schools.”

He nodded in understanding.  That seemed like something she would do; uproot her entire life for a friend.  “Gotham is good like that.  They let you rebuild yourself.  We’ve seen too much pain to judge too much.”  He looked away for a few seconds before he realized something.  “You never answered the second question.  What did you mean ‘that time’?”

“Oh… um…” she looked away awkwardly again and shuffled her feet a few times. “I have amnesia?  I lost a few years of my life a few years ago.”

“Amnesia?”

“Yeah, it was super weird.  I wasn’t even in an accident.  No physical injuries.  Just memory loss.”  She was rubbing the back of her neck and looking up at him sideways as she spoke.

He stared at her for a few more seconds.  That made no sense.  Why would she lose her memories like that?  The League could have done something, he supposed.  But if the League had been involved, she’d be dead. So it must be something else, something related to the miraculous was most likely.  A few years ago would put it right around when Hawkmoth was caught and Ladybug and the other miraculous heroes disappeared.

His eyes flicked to her ears.  She wasn’t wearing earrings.  She wasn’t wearing her miraculous.  He reached up toward her ears where they should be, but realized a few centimeters from her what he was doing and pulled back his hand like he’d been stung.  She lost being a hero.  Could the miraculous really do that?  Remove any parts of a memory that related to the miraculous?

“Um, speaking of losing things.  I don’t remember your name,” she prodded shyly.

“Jason.  Jason Todd,” he answered, still somewhat in a daze, still focused on her ears.  

She smiled at the answer, but her lips quickly turned down into a slight frown. The shift caused his hear to stutter. Why was she frowning?  Did his name bring back who he was?  No, that couldn’t be it.  She never knew his name.  So why the frown?  Did she… had she heard of him?  Was she disappointed in him?  Was she scared of him?  Was she aghast at the approach he took to cleaning up Gotham?

The thought pressed against his chest like a vice.  Every decision he’d made since he left her in that park had been touched by her.  Would she approve?  Would she understand?  It didn’t change how he acted… usually.  He still did what he needed to do, what needed to be done.  But the thought was still there.  Would she think he was the evil villain he tried so hard to be?  He knew she would be disappointed, but seeing it reflected on her face was something else.  He steeled himself and rolled his shoulders in false nonchalance. He gave her a forcefully charming smile. “What’s the matter, don’t like the name?”

She quirked her head to the side as she watched him.  Jason braced himself for whatever her next words were going to be. They had to be how disappointed she was in him, right?  Disappointed in what he became.  “I’m sorry. I guess I’m just disappointed.”  

Jason drew in a breath.  There it was. The reaction he was expecting. Even though he knew it was coming it still hurt more than he thought it would.  Why was he letting this person he didn’t even know affect him, damn it! She didn’t even know him.  She had no right!  He tried to meet her eyes so he could deliver a devastating glare, but she was staring ahead blankly.  His eyes softened involuntarily.  That’s why it hurt.  Because she was the best person he’d met, the most forgiving, and if even she thought he was disappointing, he must really be.

“I don’t remember your name,” she continued, oblivious to his reaction.  She looked back up at him with an adorable pout on her soft, pink lips.  “I was so excited that seeing you sparked something.  I guess I was hoping your name might help recover more memories. But my head, you know?”  She tapped her head with her knuckles gently.

Jason gaped at her.  She was disappointed in herself?  Not him? “No!” he cried louder than he meant to, he just couldn’t let her think this was her fault when it had to be some kind of magic.  “You never… you didn’t know my name.  And, I’ve known lots of people with amnesia.  Living in Gotham, people get their heads rattled or hit frequently. Memories are hard.  They don’t come back the way you would think they do. Sometimes they don’t ever come back at all.”

She scrunched her face in confusion.  Her lips turned down sadly.  “But… you knew my name.  And I remember you.”

Jason opened his mouth to try some kind of explanation.  He snapped his mouth shut.  What could he say?  How was he supposed to explain how he knew her?  This is where his years of training in bullshit and condescension would come in handy.  Except he didn’t want to be condescending with her, so just bullshit then.  He sighed heavily.  But he didn’t want to lie to her either, not to her.  She was the one good thing he’d done since the Pits. Helping her was his one saving grace.  “We… we weren’t friends.  We weren’t close.  I honestly have no idea why you would remember me.  I wasn’t a good person.  You knew that.”

She stared at him in surprise.  Her brows furrowed in thought, but she stayed quiet as if waiting for him to elaborate. He opened his mouth again, but snapped it shut again quickly when the sound of gunfire echoed through the museum. Jason’s head immediately snapped to the sound and he moved before he realized it to put himself between Marinette and the doorway.

Marinette sighed at the shots.  Jason whipped around to look at her.  A sigh is definitely not the response he was expecting.  It was not the normal response.  That was much closer to an emotionally damaged response, a tired of life response, a response he had tried to save her from having.  Granted his reaction wasn’t normal either, but he knew why he reacted the way he did.

She shrugged.  “The Walker Emerald,” she explained.  “It’s in the Ancient Art exhibit.”  When he still looked confused, she continued.  “It’s an Incan artifact.  They used emeralds in some of their works.  The Walker Emerald is the largest emerald they’ve found in excavations.  It’s held in place by a solid gold setting.  It’s huge.  They named it for the archaeologist that discovered it.  What bullshit is that?” she grumbled, seeming more upset by that than the gunfire.  “I stayed away from here for weeks after they opened the exhibit because I figured this would happen.  But I thought it would have happened earlier. Guess they were waiting for people to put their guard down and it worked.  I did.”

Jason moved to the doorway and peeked around the corner.  “But why now?  Why during the day when there would be people here?”

“Because security at night is a lot worse for it,” Marinette said as she peeked out next to him.  He grabbed her and pulled her back into the room behind him.  “Just my luck they would do it when I finally visited again.”  She tried to move to the doorway again but Jason pulled her back again with a scowl, moving them further from the door.  She really had no self-preservation instincts.  She rolled her eyes, but didn’t fight him, instead slumping into his side to wait for everything to blow over.  “If you remember me, then you probably already know how bad my luck is.”

He barked out a laugh at the irony.  He stopped immediately when they heard more gunfire and someone behind them call out. Marinette peeked past him again.  She cursed quietly and took off running.  Jason cursed loudly and ran to the doorway just in time to see Marinette slide into the feet of one of the goons, knocking him off his feet and into the goon next to him, knocking him down as well. Before the second guy landed, she’d jumped back up and swept a little boy who had been in their path off his feet. Fuck!  She was still acting like a hero, but without the suit or magic to help her.  

He groaned to himself.  Bad luck his ass.  That was either extreme skill or luck… or both.  But considering she hadn’t thought to follow it up by making sure they couldn’t follow her, if it was skill, it was subconscious remnants of her time as a hero, not something she could pull on at will.  And she probably hadn’t intentionally trained to be able to defend herself, because she didn’t remember being a hero, so why would she.  Which meant she had no self-preservation skills.  She was acting purely on her emotions.  She was going to get herself killed with her good heart. Where was her friend who came here with her?  Why weren’t they protecting her?  Somebody had to, since she clearly wasn’t going to do it herself.

He moved before he thought too hard about it.  The goons were already standing up, guns out and cocked, and had their eyes trained on the statue’s pedestal she was hiding behind.  He punched one in the temple, knocking him out immediately, and grabbed the gun from his hand as he fell.  He pointed the gun at the goon and was about to pull the trigger when he heard the gasp behind him.  He heard Marinette quickly fussing over the kid and telling him not to look. He groaned silently and tightened his grip on the gun.  He couldn’t kill him in front of the kid… or Marinette.  

He motioned to the gun in the goon’s hand and held his hand out.  “You know who I am, yeah?”  The goon nodded slowly.  “Give me your gun and get the fuck out of here and I won’t come after you.”  The goon dropped his gun and backed away, never turning his back on Jason until he was out of the room and rapid footfalls could be heard.

Jason took a breath and slowly let it out to calm himself before moving to Marinette’s truly terrible hiding spot.  He silently reached out for her hand to help her stand and escorted her and the kid back into the room they had been in.  The kid immediately perked up and reached out for a woman in the corner with two other kids.  She thanked Marinette and him with tears running down her face, clutching to the boy like a lifeline before bringing him back to the other two kids and holding them all the same way.

Jason yanked Marinette into his chest and wrapped his arms around her.  He watched the door for any indication they were going to send more goons after them.  After a few seconds he pulled away just enough to look at her.  “Stop doing that!” he whisper yelled.  He pulled them into the corner where they were at least partially hidden by marble statues.  “Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

“You ran after me,” she pointed out with a roll of her eyes.  “Were you trying to get yourself killed?”

“I… you…” he scowled at her.  He opened his mouth to lecture her more articulately, but snapped it shut again. “Let’s get you somewhere safer,” he gritted out.

She shook her head.  “I’m not leaving them and I already feel safe.  I feel safe with you.  I trust you.”  Jason scoffed at her.  How was she still alive?  Why was her friend not watching her at all times if she was this trusting and bad at judging people?  “I remember you.  You’re the only thing I’ve remembered.  That must mean you were important to me.  You wouldn’t have been important unless you did something I thought was significant. So that means I thought I could trust you.  And I trust myself that I can trust you.”  She smiled confidently at him.

Jason groaned and motioned to himself.  “Do I look like someone you can trust?” he exclaimed as loudly as he felt he could safely.  He may not be in his Red Hood suit right then, but he was definitely dressed in mob boss chic, designed to emanate a powerful asshole vibe and cultivate fear and respect.  

She kept her eyes focused entirely on his, not bothering to take in his carefully crafted vibe. Just staring at his eyes, staring into his soul, and seeking out that part of him that he thought had died years ago. That part the League had trained out of him.  The part the Joker had beaten out of him.  “Yes,” she said immediately and confidently.

He stared at her blankly.  Why would she trust him?  He was untrustworthy.  He was a killer.  He was brutal.  He had cultivated that reputation.  It was well deserved.  Hell, he’d attacked her.  And yet here she was, looking up at him with those big, bright, trusting, blue eyes.  “Okay.” He swallowed hard.  Those blue eyes were more deadly than half the rogues in Gotham.  Those blue eyes could get him to do things nobody else had ever been able to.  

It only took half an hour for the police to clear the museum and let them back out on the street, likely because some of them had been in on the heist in the first place.  It felt strange and unsettling to wait for the police instead of acting.  His skin itched to act in a way other than decking the officer that had been staring at him with distain since he came to tell them they could leave.

He escorted Marinette and the small family to the sidewalk outside and stuck next to them to make sure the police didn’t harass them.  He was determinedly not looking at Marinette, but he could feel her staring at him again.  When he finally looked over at her, he lost his breath for a second.  She was staring at him with such adoration and respect, his lungs couldn’t function correctly.  Jason frowned.  “You've got to stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I'm a hero,” he groused.  “I don’t deserve it.  I haven’t earned it.  I’m not a hero.”

Marinette blinked at him a few times and cocked her head to the side curiously.  She smiled sweetly at him.  It seemed vastly out of place considering the situation they were in and yet perfectly in place on her lips.  “You’re that kid’s hero.  And that mom’s… and mine.”

Jason stared back at her breathlessly.  “Look… you don’t remember me.  If you did…  I’m… It’s dangerous to be around me.  I’m dangerous to be around.  You shouldn't be seen with me. It's dangerous for you to even talk to me.”  She smiled softly at him.  “And why are you smiling?  I just told you to go away.”

Her smile got brighter his indignation.  “Because if you were as evil as you seem so intent on convincing me you are, you wouldn't care.  But you do, so you're not.  So I was right.”

“Pixie, you have no idea how hard I worked on my reputation, what I’ve done to deserve it.”

Marinette nodded in faux seriousness.  “Right.  Terrible person that almost died protecting a kid he never met and would do it again in a heartbeat and stayed with us to make sure we were safe.”

“Who intimidated the henchmen out of harming us, because they knew what I could do, because they knew I’m not a good guy.”

Marinette laughed.  She had the audacity to laugh at him.  He was one of the leading crime bosses in the city.  “Oh yeah, okay, Wreck it Ralph.  Whatever you say.  I bet you jaywalk and everything.”

“I do!” he exclaimed throwing his arms out in exasperation.  “I’m going to do it again when I leave here.”  She laughed harder at him.  He stopped and thought about what he just said.  “No.  I mean…”

“Truly terrifying,” she agreed, cutting off his objections, still mocking his seriousness.

Jason hung his head in defeat.  His head snapped up when he heard the batmobile arrive. “And you are safe now.  But, I have to go.”  His eyes stayed on the batmobile, analyzing the threat to him.

“Now?”

He looked back at her with a wry smile.  “Batman and I don’t get along so well.  That should tell you something.”

“It tells me even heroes make mistakes,” she said defiantly.

Jason let out a long suffering sigh, but nodded. “Stay safe, Marinette.”

“Will I see you again?”  Her eyes were brimming with hope, but her voice was fragile.  She tucked a piece of her hair that had come undone while they were escaping behind her ear. Jason’s eyes traced her hand as it moved.  

He hated to kill that in her, but he couldn’t allow her to be in his life.  He couldn’t bring her down like that.  He couldn’t see her again and he couldn’t lie to her.  He opened his mouth to answer her, but got a reprieve. “Marinette!”  She hadn’t bothered to look at the source of the call, keeping her eyes on Jason.  But, the eye contact was broken when she was tackled by a blonde man.  “I came as soon as I saw!  Are you okay?”

Jason disappeared into the crowd before she recovered from the onslaught.  No matter what she believed, he wasn’t good and he wouldn’t be good for her.  He vowed to himself that he wouldn’t look for her. He wouldn’t follow her.  He wouldn’t give any rogues or henchmen in Gotham any indication that she was special to him.  He would protect her in any way that didn’t make her a target.  He gave one last look over his shoulder just catching a last glimpse of her searching the crowd.  He turned away and continued forward.

Chapter 4

Tags:

@jasonette-july-event @jayjayspixiepop @aespades @how-to-function-properly @pawsitivelymiraculous @maribatserver

[rowanaelinn]

Fire on Fire - Chapter Eight

Chapter seven // Chapter nine

Warnings: suicidal thoughts.

It’s kinda rushed but it kinda fits with today’s prompt for rowaelin month! next chapter is going to be way longer :)

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Rowan took a piece of towel and used it to remove the foam from his client's leg, revealing a tattoo he had been working on for four long hours.

It was a large bouquet of flowers, each one a different color to represent a member of the client's family, with writing in the Old Language with their names.

“Here it is,” He told her, holding a mirror above her leg so she could see all the details. Her smile grew as she took in her tattoo. It was one of his favorite parts of his job, the emotion on their face. He loved to be able to bring such feelings to the people he worked on.

“I love it.” She said and Rowan only nodded, a hint of a smile on his lips. He put away his equipment, throwing away the little pots of ink that he hadn't quite finished while his client left, thanking him, before going to sign the last papers at the counter. When he finished, Rowan joined her and gave the invoice to Remelle, their assistant.

He left to clean up his workroom before entering the break room, heading straight to the fridge to take out his food. He had spent an hour yesterday cooking pasta, chicken and cutting up his favorite vegetables to make a salad. Cooking had always helped him to keep his mind busy and these last days it was more than necessary.

A few minutes after Rowan settled down at the round table in the middle of the room, fork in hand and his dominant hand busy holding an Apple Pencil while he multi-tasked eating and drawing for his appointments, Gavriel entered the room.

Rowan tried not to stare at him, exactly as he had done all week. But today it was more complicated as Gavriel sat down next to him, getting his full attention. He tried with all his might to concentrate on the drawing in front of him, but the temptation was too strong. "How's..." He cleared his throat, the words hard to come out. "How's Aelin?"

He avoided any eye contact, his eyes fixed on the tablet even if his drawing hadn’t progressed in the last ten minutes. He hated the feeling of worry in his chest. Rationally, he knew she was physically okay or Gavriel and Aedion would be by her side now. But she had been good at hiding her emotions, so good that her family didn’t see anything worrying. Apparently, he was the only one who saw anything, and it did nothing to help his worry about how she was right now.

After long seconds without a response, Rowan dared to look up at Gavriel. His head was turned toward Rowan, fork a few inches from his opened mouth. His entire face was frozen. Rowan just raised his eyebrows, waiting for anything to come out of his mouth. His boss shook his head, seeming to come back to reality. “Yeah. She is, why?” He could see the confusion on Gavriel’s face but Rowan wouldn’t answer that question so he just shrugged.

Rowan managed to stay quiet a few more minutes, even if he could feel the awkwardness in their air, but another question was burning his throat. “Have you ever met Arobynn Hamel?”

This time he looked up to see Gavriel look at him as if he was an alien, but thank the Gods, he didn’t comment on his interest. “Once or twice, but very briefly. Generally, that was just when he was picking Aelin up.” Rowan nodded, still trying to understand what Aelin had meant by The furthest they are from Arobynn, the safest they are. She hadn’t said anything else, leaving him more confused than anything.

“How did she met him?” He tried to appear casual as he asked that, taking another fork of food in his mouth. The food tasted sour as Gavriel kept watching him suspiciously. He couldn’t ask these questions to Aedion, knowing his friend he would be too defensive of his cousin, especially if Rowan was the one asking the questions. Gavriel knew about Aelin and Rowan’s disdain for each other but he knew less than Aedion, he hadn’t seen the two of them yell at each other or hadn’t witnessed them doing absolutely everything to ruin the other’s day.

He didn’t dare to ask Lysandra either, he was sure the woman would stab him with her hells if he even dared to pronounce Aelin’s name.

So Gavriel was the safest choice.

He seemed to think about who to tell him before opening his mouth. “At a party, when she was sixteen or fifteen, I think.” He took a bite of his food. “Arobynn’s an old friend of her father, both went together to college and were best of friends there, but they lost contact and met again at a gala. They talked about Aelin and found out she wanted to work in the same industry as Arobynn. He’s been her mentor ever since.”

Fifteen? Maybe Rowan’s mind was just fucked up to think it was weird, maybe he was just influenced by what Aelin said the other night. He might not have found it weird if she hadn’t said anything. He was just thinking too hard, trying too hard to find an explanation for what’s happening to her.

“You think he’s good to her?” Gavriel was a wise man, he was trying so hard to be part of his son’s life and it included taking care of Aedion’s cousin. Surely, he didn’t notice the little things Rowan did, but maybe he noticed something else. Rowan’s boss only shrugged.

“He found her a place at her university, made her TA, and gives her a job every summer. So, yeah. I guess so.” And he was paying for her education, a fact Aelin hid from her family. Why would she? It was what didn’t make sense, what was weird with all that. “I’m even sure he’s the first person she went to see when she left her parents in Terassen.”

What?

“What do you mean, ‘left’?” He asked, his brows furrowed. It wasn’t the only thing that didn’t make sense, he knew for a fact Aelin came to the house first. He hadn’t talked to her that day, he and the boys were sent to their room as if they were teenagers the moment a crying Aelin knocked at the door. He had lingered longer than necessary in the staircase, long enough to see her in a dress, shoes in hands, and cheeks filled with black makeup that had run down her cheeks.

Next thing he knew, Aedion spent a week at his father, trying to get Aelin better. Rowan had thought about this night for too long, Rowan always thought Aelin had partied too hard (because from her outfit, it was quite clear she had partied) and it was the straw that broke the camel's back for her parents. Even without wanting to, it had been impossible not to know about Aelin Ashryver Galathynius.

Pictures and videos of her in more than indecent dresses for her age were on page one of every magazine, when pictures of her sniffing coke had leaked it had even been made to National News. She had been sixteen at the time, and it had only been one of many times she had been caught doing what she shouldn’t have.

Before Gavriel could answer, the door opened to let Aelin appear in the doorway. She was holding flowers in her left hand, a smile on her face as she saw her uncle. Unfortunately, her face froze when she saw Rowan. Rowan’s entire body stilled, eyes roaming all over her body. She seemed okay, not skinnier than the last time he saw her, not hurt.

“Oh,” she said, opening and closing her mouth multiple times. She swallowed before clearing her throat. Only a blind person wouldn’t see her anxiety. “I didn’t think you ate there.”

He usually didn’t, having enough time to go back home. It was more comfortable to eat there, but he had been burying himself under work since he woke up in her empty bed. “You thought wrong.”

She was uncomfortable, and he both wanted to make her feel that way for hours and wanted to comfort her at the same time.

Sensing both of their unease, Gavriel stood up and went to leave the room. “I brought you those, your favorites,” Aelin said, giving her uncle the flowers. “I went to your favorite flower shop.”

Gavriel smiled and kissed Aelin’s cheek, earning a smile out of her. “Thanks.” He looked back at Rowan, he knew it was a warning glare but he didn’t care. He needed to speak with her. Gavriel left, pretending to have something else to do but it was all an excuse to let them speak.

“So, you’re alive.”

Aelin snorted. “I don’t know if you look relieved or sad.”

He fought his lips from rising. “Anything to say?”

Aelin looked at him, her bottom lip between her lips and her hands fidgeting. “Your shirt is ugly.”

It was his turn to snort. Of course, she wouldn’t go straight to the point. He arched a brow, waiting for a real answer. Even though he was the one sitting, he held more power than her now.

“What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t want you to say anything,” he said as he closed his tablet, letting his fork down on the plate to have his hands free. “I just want you to act like the adult you are, and it doesn’t include running away in the middle of the night after telling someone you want to die.” His voice was hard, it made Aelin flinch.

“I never said I wanted to die.”

“You said you didn’t have the strength to live, Aelin.”

“Yeah, never said I wanted to die.”

“But do you?” He had to ask, because if she did… He would do what was necessary, he couldn’t let her die. She was already killing herself slowly, between the sex and the alcohol… She told everyone she was sober from drugs but she had been lying for so long to everyone he had a hard time believing it.

Rowan got his answer when she avoided his gaze, focusing on the floor. His heart broke, he needed to help her and he doubted sending her to a psychiatric hospital would help.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, voice heavy with emotions. With his head, he made her sign to sit next to him, and to his surprise, he complied. She turned her chair to face him, their knees brushing. He could see the dark circles around her eyes from that close, her lips dryer than usual and dotted with small wounds that he knew were due to her teeth.

“I’m coming back home.” He told him, finally looking at him. “I was around, I finished school yesterday and had to sign some things at Arobynn’s office. So I bought Gavriel’s favorite flowers to thank him, I didn’t know you would be here.”

“You hoped I wouldn’t.” He stated and she only nodded. She looked broken as if she knew she could let her guard down after what happened between them Monday. He was happy she knew he would be here for her.

“I was ready to call the cops when I woke up alone, Aelin,” Rowan confessed. He needed her to understand people suffered from her actions. “I was going to until I heard Aedion complain to Lysandra about you leaving him for his father.” He exhaled a loud breath, trying to forget everything he felt that morning. “Aelin, I thought you were dead somewhere.”

Her hand gripped his, he couldn’t hide the surprise from his face. She kept her hand in his, her small fingers enveloping his. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from it, they had never touched like that. “I’m sorry,” her weak voice said. “I panicked. I didn’t think…” He looked back at her, letting her time formulate her thoughts. It was hard enough, she didn’t need to be pressed. “I didn’t think you’d care, to be honest. Nobody ever did, you said it yourself. Aedion was annoyed I was at Gavriel’s, not that I was gone. It’s always been this way, I’ve always been… free.”

It wasn’t freedom, it was negligence. But she didn’t need to hear this now, so he kept his mouth shut, just nodding in understanding. He linked their fingers together, delighted to see the surprise on Aelin’s face, at least they were even now. He squeezed her hand, accepting her apology. Two weeks ago he would have thought Aelin did it on purpose to have attention, but he began to realize he was wrong about her.

“It’s your birthday tomorrow.” He said, changing the subject. He had to get back to work soon, and he didn’t have the time to unpack everything he wanted right now. Aelin still looked at their hands, feeling too hard to describe on her face. She nodded.

“Lysandra and Dorian spent the week throwing a huge party for you,” It wasn’t exactly a surprise, Aelin knew there would be a party but probably thought it would just be her and her close friends. Lysandra and Dorian had another idea in mind. “If it’s too much, we can ditch. We’ll find an excuse.”

Finally, her eyes looked back at his face. She had a small smile on her face, Rowan’s heartbeat eased at that. “No.” She shook her head. “A party is what I need right now.”

Rowan wanted to disagree on that, but she was an adult. She knew what was best for her. “Then let’s party.”

Her eyes widened. “You usually don’t come to my birthday.” She was right, he had avoided these parties full of teenagers as much as he could, but he wanted to stay with her.

“I thought were an English major,” he teased her, pulling at her arm slightly making her smile. “What part of ‘you don’t have to be alone anymore’ don’t you understand?”

At that, she smiled so brightly Rowan could have sworn it lighted up the entire room.

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