#(first of all hi hello i'm so glad you're back on my dash!)

[softersinned]

@sheswoven / starter call (accepting).

She thinks it worth saying that she finds this entire production foolish. Utterly, impossibly, unforgivably foolish. That Matthew has found a mate doesn't trouble her; she is hardly opposed to new members of the family, and besides, anything that keeps Matthew occupied generally means fewer messes for her and Baldwin to clean up. That Matthew has found a mate in a witch is mildly concerning, but she can learn to live with it. That neither Matthew nor his witch—Diana, she reminds herself, she will need to remember this one's name—are willing to do what should be done and allow her to be turned utterly exhausts her.

And she understands not wanting to lose one's magic. She understands it all too well. But, well, marriage is compromise, isn't it? And there's a great deal to be said for immortality and near-invincibility.

A few rooms over Baldwin and Matthew seem to be having that exact conversation, or something along those lines with a great deal more animosity, and so Astoria sits comfortably across from Diana and offers her a tired smile as she settles in. Her posture speaks to her ease in Sept-Tours, though the set of her jaw suggests otherwise; she would infinitely prefer to be home, away from all of this. She misses the days when the family's worst problems were whatever new war Matthew had started out of boredom.

"I would say they're not always like that, but they really are," she says with a yawn, and she delicately covers her mouth as she nods towards the sound of Baldwin's and Matthew's shouts. "Every de Clermont I've ever met is. You didn't choose a particularly simple family to marry into, I'm afraid." She tucks her feet under the cushion beside her on the couch and looks Diana over with equal parts curiosity and amusement, though even that softens after a beat.

(She remembers torture at the hands of another witch. It's no easy thing to forget, even four hundred years after the fact.)

The words that follow come entirely without her permission. Far be it from Astoria to be all that concerned about anyone else, but she finds it happening on its own. "How bad is the pain?" she asks finally. "How are you?"

[lady-phasma]

Hello!

I've been a follower for a while, love your HotD stuff, but just wanted to say I am DELIGHTED that you're starting to write for IWtV! There is a devastating shortage of lestat x reader imo lol, I'm buzzing to read the one you posted a snippet of! We all need some Lestat-flavoured hedonism in our lives. I love thinking how he'd be with an equally hedonistic partner who encourages him and delights in it as much as he does. All that to say, welcome welcome welcome we are so blessed to have you writing for this fandom!!❤️❤️❤️ your work is always wonderful and I'm always glad to see you on my dash!

-floof x

Oh wow! Thank you so much! 💕 Seriously, that is so incredibly kind of you to say. I'm thrilled that I could come into this fandom after my Tumblr hiatus. The timing was great.

Interview was my first fandom and my first fanfiction. Around 1994/95 (before I saw the film) I read as many of the books as I could get my hands on and then my pre-teen mind overheated with the possibilities. Not smut then, obviously, but pages and pages of notebook paper filled with romance and drama between Louis and Lestat then Lestat and Armand. Lestat has been and always will be my first love. Armand became my second in 1998 when his book came out.

There is a devastating shortage of lestat x reader imo lol, I'm buzzing to read the one you posted a snippet of! We all need some Lestat-flavoured hedonism in our lives. I love thinking how he'd be with an equally hedonistic partner who encourages him and delights in it as much as he does.

You are so sweet! Thank you again. But also, I agree 1000% with you about the hedonism! Here's what's in my head at the moment: the snippet (I can't find the post to link it here for other people because Tumblr search sucks) is from a Dom!Lestat x fem!reader that might be along the lines of what you're talking about with that lovely brand of hedonism, we'll see. I was also inspired to write a Lestat x fem!reader after the finale. I'm going to go with whichever has momentum. I also really really want to write a gn!reader for him as well at some point.

Alas, I can't write full time, so I'll do what I can. I try to honor these characters as much as possible and treat them with the utmost respect to how they are in the series (and books) because they are all very dear to my heart. I am so glad I could come back to this fandom as an adult and actually be part of a fandom. I didn't even have the internet when I start writing for them all those years ago!!

(Also, those who might be interested I have two Armand x gn!reader fics on my masterlist.)

[newkatzkafe2023]

@lara-legomonkiekid

Hello👋, I think this is the first time sending you an ask, I really like your blog and I have a question about something.

And if Y/N were a monkey like SWK's/Monkey King's, how would they react?

I imagine Y/N to be a very pretty white monkey with green or blue eyes (^w^).

I also wanted to know what their reaction would be like if they purred with Y/N or if Y/N started to purr🤔.

Do it if you want!☺️

Aww Thank you i'm glad you like it This makes me feel better about my whole blog🥰🥰 I will gladly answer your question.

You are (Y/N) a Monkey with white fur and Piercing blue eyes. You're pretty Well known for making Food that can heal diseases And fix injuries. Many would come to the very top of your mountain home to ask for your help, But the thing is, you are anti social and you don't like humanity or the demons. We were taking a nap 1 day when suddenly when a Something smacked into The tree you were sleeping in and you Wake up to see another monkey???

(LMK Wukong) He was stunned 😲 he has never seen anything like you. Your snow White fur and your navy blue eyes stared into his very soul. He was also quite perplexed, the only celestial monkeys,He knows of his himself and Macaque So imagine his shock to find us another one in fact a female one. You know exactly who this guy is The monkey king the great sage equal to heaven and all that bull crap, he already sounds annoying So without any word you quickly Kick them off your mountain. Unfortunately that didn't stop him from coming back. Over the years, he wore you down So you finally throw him a bone. And now you two have been married for god knows how long. Their was never a time where you and Wukong purred together as you Cuddle and you kissing him.

(Nezha Reborn wukong) This Guy harasses you something fierce it's been like this for years. With a beautiful Creature that stares at him like dirt on your boots He always comes by flirt and try to court you. Every time you kick him off your mountain he just bounces right back, he just couldn't take a hint. You're kind of glad he Didn't, Because your Marriage wouldn't be what it is today He loves head and chin Scratches because his purrs would be heard from all over the room Along with yours when you're Relaxing with him.

(Monkey Reborn Wukong) You to meet this A**hole when the monk Tang comes to you asking for your assistance for the journey. He's perplexed to find a female Celestial monkey, He'll never admit it but he thought your fur and eyes were kinda pretty. You of course rejected his Master's request and immediately told them to get off your mountain. Wukong didn't like that and demanded that you do what his master saids. Yeah, it did not take long for the exchange To get heated and you both throw hands And the most hilarious part is that He absolutely lost. that was the beginning to a very violent rivalry There was never a time where you were Both weren't yelling, exchanging insults or just full out fighting. Soon a violent fight led to a rather intense make out session before he froze and Dashed away from you something changed from there and soon enough you both got togethersure their was still fight but not violent like before. He'll tease you for purring but shuts up Immediately if he purred Too.

(Hero is back wukong) He may not show it but he was interested in you Appearance, he's never seen anything like you. Not only are you a female celestial monkey, but one with snow white Fur and sharp blue eyes. And it seems like you remind him of himself in a way. You don't socialize at all. He takes his time getting pass your walls and you two become friends and years later get married. I imagine his purrs are deep and that usually tell you that he's either relaxed or Sleeping

(Netflix Wukong) you never got along with the monkey Elders especially with how the ostracized a new monkey who Simply wants to fit in with them. That's right your the only one who befriend Wukong and stayed with him. Sure he was a handful but that's because he was literally brand new. He always like playing with your snow White fur and your eye always head comfort rather then Judgment you purr Quietly While He is also purrs rather loudly but that because you're always petting him

There you Go Feel Free to Reblog😇👍

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.153 Another one

It's 3 a.m., and I'm jolted out of that good good sleep because Desiree is screaming like she's trying to raise the dead or something. I jolt up, disoriented and dazed, and dash to the nursery to see what she needs, but when I get there, I see that she is flat out pissed. Of course, I don't like that she is unhappy, but her little down-turned eyebrows and poked out lip make me laugh. She looks like I owe her money or something, heh. Infant life is so hard. Your caretakers are asleep when you're awake, you can't do anything for yourself, and to top it off, there's no one to hold you at night. That's what she's really mad about because as soon as I pick her up, everything is peachy. She's getting so smart and figured out how to game the system and bend it to her will. When she screams, I come running and pick her up. Fortunately for her, I love holding her. At some point, however, she's going to have to learn she can't be in our arms 24/7.

She's so beautiful and looks more and more like Sophia every day. And she's strong too. I think it's time to get her mobile, or at least sitting up on her own. Then we can feed her in the highchair and start exploring different foods. As fun as that adventure sounds, I also kinda want her to stop growing for a little while. Tami, Dub's daughter, is a toddler already, and it feels like she was just born a few days ago. They grow up too fast, and before we know it, they'll be in high school making googly eyes at boys.

I tried to put her back in the crib a few times, but she had a fit at every attempt. It was just after dawn when she was sleepy enough to accept I know best. I need a nap too, but there's no use in trying to go back to sleep now. The sun is rising, so I grab Rosie and go for a jog. Fresh air and an increased heart rate will wake me right up. It's been a minute since we've done this, and she is stoked. My knees, on the other hand, are not. (sigh)

When I get to Dad's house, I want to stop in and say hello even though I know he's not there. It's so weird seeing it there, waiting for me to do something with it. I know grief is a process, and eventually I'll get to a place where seeing it brings back happy memories instead of reminders that he is no longer with us, but I want to be there now.

It's funny how being a parent changes how I look at the world. Things I've ignored for years suddenly become relevant. Like, I just realized there's a park behind his house. I probably saw it many times and forgot about it because it had nothing to do with me. But today, I feel like I'm seeing it for the first time and am glad Desi won't have to go too far to meet other kids and stretch her imaginative wings. At least I hope there are other children in this neighborhood. All the ones I knew are all grown up now. Regardless, there are plenty of places in this city where we can take her to socialize.

Just as I headed back home, Mama called to tell me Dwayne had passed away. I give her my condolences and tell her we'll be around as soon as Sophia wakes up. This is just not our family's week. Mama lost both her loves pretty much at the same time, and despite my feelings about that situation, it can't be easy for her to deal with, and I feel for her. But what alarms me the most is knowing her time is even shorter than I thought, and I don't know how to reconcile that.

[jayflrt]

HELLO!

I like your work a lot like it's genuinely Hilarious so I thought you would be the best person to ask for this.

I want to make a writing tumblr for enhypen but I'm a little lost because I've never used tumblr (as a creator) before LOL just used twitter and AO3 to write/socmed for fictional fandoms (tbh this is my first time like being a proper fan of a kpop group as to occasionally liking a song or two).

Anyways! What I've gathered from my experience on twitter and the writers I've followed here is obviously your blog should have an intro about you (inc. what you're comfy with, what you write, etc.) and a master list of your works BUT some of Tumblr's mechanics are Confusing.

Like,

1) should I create specific tags for my asks?

2) on twt, usually you create a tweet like "Hi! New to #___twt, looking for moots blah blah" to get an initial burst of likewise new people to bond and communicate with, does it work similarly here and if so/not please elaborate TT

3) is the etiquette to reblog every work you like, or is that spammy and you should just like them?

4) is there any other advice you have for navigating tumblr (like odd quirks)

5) ALSO this is a small dumb question but in the fandoms I've been in until now we usually used socmed au instead of smau do you have any idea why that's different (low-key smau is smarter tho bcus it's a shorter abbreviation)

I think that's all. I tried going through your rules and intro again, but I didn't see anything on whether an ask like this was alright or not, but I hope it is! I didn't want to Like intrude, but I felt most comfortable asking you because you're also desi ❤️❤️.

Anyways!! If this is something you don't want to/don't feel comfortable answering or it's like annoying genuinely just ignore this, I don't want to be make anyone uncomfortable!

omg thank you so much ml, i'm so glad you enjoyed my works!! 🥹 welcome to the kpop community first of all!! did you recently become an engene? :') and welcome to the tumblr ff community too! honestly i feel like if you can navigate ao3 just fine then tumblr shouldn't be too difficult after a while but i'm sure it's confusing at first 😵‍💫

as for your questions i'll answer them in the same order you asked them:

1. honestly i'm not 100% sure if there's any real purpose behind specific tags for your asks other than organization personally LOL but it's pretty helpful if you want to go back to look through your asks for something instead of scrolling past all the posts on your blog !!

2. omg yes i love the twt intros 💗 honestly for tumblr i think i just started posting content right away whenever i made a blog 🤧 i think intros are usually just in your navigation anyways but if you want to talk to different authors then it doesn't hurt to send an ask!! usually people communicate with different authors via the ask box 🥰

3. all sorts of interaction is great but i think reblogs are preferred!! i typically use likes as my bookmarks and then reblogs to comment on work or share it to a wider audience. the algorithm for tumblr works so that your likes don't show for others (unless you make it public on your profile) but your reblogs are on the dashes of people who follow you

4. ooh i'd say make use of the tagging system!! using tags like #enhypen fluff or #enhypen x reader on your fics will make it easier for people to find your work 💘

5. HAHAH I USED TO CALL IT SOCMED AU TOO BEFORE I JOINED TUMBLR 😭 i still use social media au as a tag but i think smau is more widely used here!! not exactly sure why but im guessing its just easier to tag 🙂‍↕️ i get you tho bc i experienced the same culture shock

dont worry you're most welcome to send asks !! 🥰💘 and thank you for reading my rules and intro!! i definitely don't turn away anyone who's looking for advice <33 also omg fellow desi 🫶 welcome to enhablr !

[cosmicjoke]

Hi, Hello, I'm just popping over here cause I wanted to say, when I first got online again--I've been on hiatus for, like, 3 ish years--wanting to get back into my Levi fic writing, I stumbled across and just started en mass reading a bunch of your analysis posts as I found them because I found them really intriguing and thought provoking, and agreed with a lot of it. I'm just a bit of a shy/silent reader, though, usually, at least with analytical posts, cause I find it hard to or at least sometimes frustrating to try and properly articulate what I want/mean in more analytical/technical/evidentiary writings, otherwise I'd engage with them and the discussion more. <3 But I wanted to pop in here and say even though I'm more of the silent/shy reader with those kinds of posts, I really do enjoy reading them and they helped me shake off the rust and work on getting back into Levi's characterization after so long away from writing him, really helped with the deep character thinking required to get back in the swing of things, and I really appreciate it and love reading your takes when they come across my dash! Okay, that's all, I'm gonna go hide in a nest of blankets again now, byyyeeeeeee!!!! <3

Hi there,

Thank you so much! That means so much to me, truly, especially knowing I've helped you get back into your Levi fandom and being able to write for him again. And no worries at all about joining in or contributing to my posts. I totally understand the difficulty. I really only write my analysis posts to help me work out my own thoughts, to try and better articulate what I'm thinking. It can be incredibly difficult putting into words what you're thinking, whether it be fiction or analytical writing. I struggle big time, which is why my posts often get overly long and rambling, haha.

Anyway, again, I'm very glad to hear I've been able to help you get back into the swing of things with your own writing, and I hope you continue to find something worth your while in my posts. And if you ever have anything to say or add, don't be afraid to interact! I'm always happy to talk about Levi with anyone, whether it's deeper conversation, or just talking about how much you love him, for whatever reason. Thanks again!

[incomingalbatross]

Hello, I hope you're doing well.

I really love your content, especially the Catholic BatFamily stuff, because being a Catholic myself, I was always really interested in the parallels between Christian Catholic beliefs and Batman's morals.

So, could we get more Catholic BatFamily content? There's so much more I want to know, like how would Jason and Bruce reconcile, does Bruce bring Steph into the faith after a few years, whether would Duke become Catholic or whether would he be Episcopalian (because his parents seemed to have taught him good morals growing up), does Bruce bond with Helena B. (Huntress) a bit more because of their faith, how is Selina in the middle of all of this, and more. Please, I need answers!! (if you want to, of course).

Oooh, also, I think St Joan of Arc is perfect for Cassandra (or Maria Faustina, or Jude Thaddeus)

Again, love what you do, keep doing it, and have a good one!!

Hi! I'm doing well. Hope you are too.

Thank you! I'm glad you like it. It's just...there's so much virtue in this mythos, and so much suffering. In Bruce's life particularly. And the heroism and the iconography and... YEAH. I might have run out of words today. :P But Catholic Batfamily holds a lot of meaning for me.

Unfortunately, I haven't been really actively into Batfamily stuff recently, so the ideas aren't flowing! "How do Jason and Bruce reconcile" is a question that has SO many potential narratives in its answer, of course, and I think I go back and forth on whether Jason would reconcile with the Church or with Bruce first. One would lead to the other, I think, but which first? I don't know. I AM a big fan of Jason having wanted to be a priest as a teenager and eventually fulfilling his vocation, though. Father Jason Todd is good.

...I also think Jason ought to go to Lourdes. I'm honestly unclear if Pit Madness is canon or purely fanon, but either way the waters of Lourdes as spiritual healing for the Lazarus Pit boy just sounds right.

I don't know about Steph either! I'm inclined to say she's more likely to go to church with Tim or Barbara, or walk into her campus ministry one day and go from there, but I don't know where she's at.

—and okay, I am remembering that SOMEONE on my dash or very close to it was doing a whole series of Batfam members paired with corporal works of mercy?? I can't FIND it but the one I'm remembering has Stephanie and a soup kitchen and it's very good. Augh.

Anyway! I like Helena Wayne Huntresses more than Helena B. Huntresses, so my own universe would probably be more like "And this is Huntress, who is not-coincidentally also Catholic, because she's Bruce's daughter from an alternate Earth." :P But if you have thoughts on Bruce and Helena B., go for it!!

Joan of Arc does sound like someone who would resonate with Cass. The valiance, the purity, the determination to Do Her Duty no matter the obstacles... yeah. Or the others! I shamefully know St. Maria Faustina less than half as well as I should, but yes. And honestly, I think St. Jude might be the patron saint of Gotham. :P

Thank you very much, again! I'm happy to hear you enjoyed my thoughts.

[dynamitekansai]

Hi! Please feel free to ignore, but I love your blog and it's been making me want to take a more active interest in wrestling, after years of just enjoying the occassional gif/picture on my dash. If it's not too much trouble: do you have any tips on where to start? What to watch? What to avoid? Again, please feel free to ignore, you just seem very knowledgeable and I am a bit out of my depth.

Hello! I'm really glad you've been sparked with an interest to actually check out wrestling further!

I wouldn't say I'm knowledgeable on shit lmao. I am always, in all aspects of life, just fucking winging it. So let me start off by saying I don't even know how I'm expected to answer this. (But I'll make an attempt.)

I guess it depends. What has grabbed your interest most? Any specific promotion or particular wrestler? A style? The more soap opera storytelling type of wrestling or joshis just dropkicking the actual shit out of each other?

Idk, when I first got into wrestling it was old school joshi and the original g.l.o.w. so I just used to binge watch whatever I could find on YouTube and whenever I latch onto a wrestler I like finding whatever more matches of theirs are on online and going from there.

That's how I mostly go, I follow whatever wrestlers that grab my interest. I fell in love with Iyo when she was Stardom's Io and when she went to WWE I begrudgingly followed lmao. I was still half-assed about wanting to until I saw Naomi and I was like shit, well now I really gotta. I became a fan of Solo Sikoa in WWE but I like going back and finding his old pre-WWE Sefa Fatu matches and watching those.

Or if you just see a match that looks interesting and you know nothing about the build up to it or if you wanna watch follow up matches or whatever, that's fine, just check it out anyway. It may seem overwhelming, like jumping into a feud that's been ongoing long before you came in, but don't mind it much. There will be recaps and callbacks and so on. It's not that intimidating once you get into it.

There are YouTube channels where you can watch things uploaded by the promotions like GatohMove/ChocoPro, SETUP, Stardom, TJPW, GCW, DPW, MLW, Prestige, TNA (also their site), EVE, BAKA GAIJIN, DEFY, etc. Sukeban for some ungodly reason, the creative innovators they are, also have a TikTok account. They have streamed free live shows from TikTok. To which it varies but they upload anything from show highlights, free matches, preview clips of matches, or free livestreams. ChocoPro for example is a no-paywall promotion. They're all about free livestreaming shows so wrestling can be accessible for everyone. And no commitment, can just casually browse and see what you're into. Even AEW and WWE will post matches and such on their channels. RIP YouTube Dark and Elevation. (You can still go back and watch old Dark and Elevation shows on their channel.)

I'm a big fan of non-paywall wrestling because of how accessible it is and easy it makes for people new to wrestling to actually get into it.

And if you sniff around a bit there are streams of varying legality. If you already have access to streaming sites like Hulu where things like AEW or WWE are available on, just look up their regular air times and make it a routine. I only got into wrestling myself around 2016ish? ~ 2017 so I promise however I come across I'm no expert at all, it's just my one very overly invested interest. 💃✨

[dynmghts]

wait are we gushing abt cameron ?? THE cameron ???? im jumping the bandwagon two months later as the bestie. firstly, you're amazing, ya know that right? my bestie of eleven years officially now. you've been with me through thick and thin, hell and highwater, and you still have always made me laugh when i'm feeling the worst. you're my best friend. my first real friend irl and here on tumblr. speaking of tumblr:

i've seen you through your entire tumblr career and you've always chosen the most angry mfers known to man. but the DEPTH HELLO ??? you give them such depth and bring to light other issues and themes others wouldn't have thought of. exbhihit a: achilles and patroclus as izuku and Akatsuki with them interchanging between the two ancient heroes. i've gotten all the ramblings but the relationship between these dorks is something you've always been passionate about since day one of the katsuki bakugo obsession. it's amazing to see you deep dive into him and his character, listening to you discuss him and answering any questions or thoughts i have regarding his character or mha in general. hell you dragged me into this fandom not once, not twice, but three fucking times now.

more gushing. your writing? hello? i've always always loved it. reading the passages on my dash is so nice and lovely, its my daily newspaper. regardless of the blog, i'm here DEVOURING everything i see. every bit of cute, angst, general energy. and of course our dynamics. no matter what universe we're in: our muses have some sort of bond. fucker u got me writing MITSUKI of all people!! AND TENYA IIDA ??? only you could get me doing that. bastard

also did you know i love you? my silly lil guy, my brother. my funky lil dude. that's YOU. the taurus to my gemini. the fact you saw me dressed as a vampire and went "i want that one" says a lot about us.

i love you, bestie. even when u annoy or anger me which is so fucking rare i love you. now back to anime goodbye

ps. i know you're either gonna make a noise or look at me. im literally in the room rn with u watching mha and talking abt iida. >:)

guys the fact she sent me this while we were busy being sad over the shie hassaikai arc oh my god .....................

aleera i adore you to pieces and i am so so glad to have u as my best friend and as my longest-lasting friendship. i would not trade it for a single damn thing. u are amazing and talented and u listen to every stupid ramble i ever go on, which is a lot because u get me so damn talkative + animated sometimes, and ?? words cannot describe just how thankful i am to have you in my corner

now hurry tf up (affectionate) we got a school festival arc to watch

[crownedhopelesss]

hello! long-time follower, just wanted to ask a question based on being returned, welcome back, first of all!! always happy to see you on my dash. secondly, i'd love to write with you again, however, i'm curious if you have an updated muse list, or is your muse list correct? i thought you had lots of canon muses you wrote, or did you separate blogs for them? thx.

hi! thank you so much for the welcoming! i'm glad to be back. my plan is to make sideblogs for each fandom on this blog to keep it more organized and because i don't want the attention to be taken away from my ocs by my canons. but until i do make those sideblogs (i have one so far for my ats characters which the url is weareheroes!), i'm so okay with playing my canons on here! once i do finally make those, i'll move those threads to the respective blogs. but if you're wanting to play with one of my canons, here is the link to all of them! and then here's a mobile friendly page of my ocs and canons i plan to keep on this blog. i'd love to write so feel free to hop into my ims!

[pan-but-meh]

Listen.... Listen, ok? I have angst, and I know it isn't my usual genre and it might not be good, but I'mma write it, ok? Because I know we all have these kinds of thoughts! And they, are about... Gavin. 😈

(also, please do not kill me for how I write Cam, I literally haven't listened to any of their audios except for the first one in Ivan's playlist, I skipped the others, apologies) Gavin will use he/they pronouns, while Cam just has they/them (because they are gender)

~~~~~~~~~~

Gavin sighs, rubbing the back of his head. He had finished that stupid video, D.U.M.P. is taking care of the two humans, and Vega is out of the picture. He could finally return to their Diviant.

"Gavin."

Ok, maybe not. He let's out another sigh and turns to see Camelopardalis, the friend he was talking about when he sent Vega away. "Cam. Pleasure seeing your familiar face." Gavin gives a tight smile with a teasing glint in his eyes. Said demon rolls their eyes good heartedly as the two shake and bro hug. "

"Glad to see you too Gav. Thanks for the present, would've preferred it not half dead." They quirk an eyebrow, but they radiate tiredness and pity. Gavin simply shrugs, smirk becoming more innocent. "Sorry not sorry." They chuckle and Cam let's out an amused huff.

"So," Gavin says, "what did you need? Because I am trying to get back to a, hopefully not too aggravated, Freelancer, and soon." Cam's face slightly drops at that as they sigh, making Gavin shoot them a confused look.

They rub the back of their neck as they say, "Actually Gavin, I wanted to talk to you about just that." Gavin doesn't say anything, but rolls his hand for them to continue. "I know you and Caelum put a claim on them. And I'm glad you have someone, but..." they take in a deep breath and glances around, trying to avoid eye contact, before continuing, staring in their eyes. "You know they can't live forever."

Gavin's face immediately drops, and they cross their arms. "Yeah, I know, Cam. Can you get to the point any slower?"

They sigh at hearing his aggravated voice and says, "What I mean is, I know you're catching feeling for them." Before he could even open his mouth, they continue, holding their hand up. "Don't, try to deny it, I know you. You're falling in love with them, and I could not be more happy for you. But... Like I said, they can't live forever. And you're not a vampire, you can't just turn them so they can live with you forever. At some point in their life, their going to become older than you physically, they'll become old, they'll become frail, and they'll die. I'm sorry that it's harsh, but it's true. And I don't want you to be upset or depressed when that does happen. I'm... I'm just, looking out for you." They finish with a tired sigh as Gavin simply stares at them.

He continues not to say anything, before they sigh and hang their head. "You think I don't know that, Cam? I've thought about that from the moment I met them. I don't know what you expect from me, but I know what I'm gonna do." He looks at them with a determined look in his eyes. "I am going to saviour every moment I have with them while I can, because I'll be damned if I waste this chance because of fear." He goes face to face with Cam as he continues, voice and gaze softer. "So please, just don't say that, ever, again."

They two just stare at each other before Cam sighs and hangs his head, dryly chuckling. "Fine. Consider the matter forgotten." They give him a smile that he returns, and they shake hands again.

As he turns to rift away, Cam says, "Hey, I'll see you around, ok?" He turns his head to look at them over his shoulder as he nods, then leaves.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hello darkness my old friend~ I've come to talk to you again~ I hope you enjoyed the story! Inbox is open and you are free to ask or request any of the ones listed in my dash! Enjoy the moment! 🥰

[joytraveler]

11. Last Of Them All

This game once again features a well-drawn title screen, showing a house at night with warmly glowing windows, a treehouse in the front yard and a tricycle underneath it. The only instructions are "Press Start".

When Bea does so, a JRPG begins! The graphics are reminiscent of the original Dragon Quest, and the opening cinematic shows a family waking up. First there's a boy with red hair, who jumps out of bed and runs down the stairs. He's followed by a much smaller girl with pony tails, then two more boys. The last one to emerge from the bedroom is the character Bea controls.

"Hello! Hey! Hi! Hi! He- oh its me, good morninnng! Is this gonna be like.. Chrono Bound? Earth Trigger"

"First things first, I have to eat video game breakfast"

Glockroach: Bea speaking as someone with four siblings your life is gonna be hell now HNV: oh shit Bea you need to play Earthbound Beginnings after this

When you trot downstairs, the kids are all playing, tossing dolls around and making a mess of things. The red-haired boy-- apparently the eldest-- says, "Go get Mom and Dad for breakfast, I'll go get the paper."

Going back upstairs, the doorway to Mom and Dad's room is now open. Mom's sprite looks familiar, she has the same red hair as your big brother.

"Hi mo- MOM YOUR HEAD'S ON FIRE!"

Llord_Kuruku: Was mom up all night keeping bedbugs out of my bed? Love you mom! Baconnaise: That's all they do when we're asleep and now we know what ungrateful wretches we were

Once you wake up Mom, she goes down the stairs. Father stays in bed and mumbles "Go ask your mother", when you address him

He does, however, tell you your name-- apparently you're Zoku. "Shouldn't I be a big green soldier robot- oh Zoku, never mind!"

aroseahorseboy: yeah, you're a desktop popsicle maker, congrats.

"Okay I get all your breakfast then!" Bea holds down the "B" button and finds she can dash, neat! "GAH, NYOOM.. forgot I had my Nikes on, right?"

"And you can move in every direction, i don't feel like i'm on a grid like most of these"

As soon as Zoku hits the edge of the screen where the stairs lead from upstairs to downstairs, though, the screen goes black. There's a loud banging sound effect-- and a digitized woman's scream.

"DON'T-!!! What for!? Why??"

Glockroach: You tripped you clumsy idiot berd_snurglar: oh man i was worried they'd be dead when we found them but i'm glad we could be there

"Nobody's dead- are they?? Damn you game, are you LOADING on me?!" "How...dare you"

Finally, after that long black screen, the lower floor loads-- but different. The house is dark, it's night. The house has been even more torn apart than by five children; furniture smashed and scattered, windows broken, moonlight coming through.

Zoku is different too. Bea is now controlling an armored, gun-toting soldier in helmet and goggles, who is accompanied by two more. One of them gestures for him to follow, and he pauses and says, "I knew this looked familiar," before handing control back to Bea.

Baconnaise: So Earthbound grew up and it turned out all bad :( berd_snurglar: i really wish i hadn't voted for the pig kid on retrospect

"I assume we'll figure out more as we get further in, but hang in there guys, this could still be fun! Look, one guy is a robot! Or maybe he just has a cool helmet. I'd say this is like Metal Max but nobody knows what that is"

she tries walking around the area- the ruins of a town. she hasn't encountered any enemies yet, but there's nothing to find either.. it really does feel lonely.

When Bea reaches the rendezvous point, the soldiers rejoin Zoku for another briefing.

["You all know a save point when you see one. They're the cornerstone of what's left of our civilization. I need to tell you now: BEWARE. Some of the ones you'll be seeing up ahead are booby traps."]

Baconnaise: Heehee, booby

"Maybe this is just the kids playing in the backyard and its all in their imagination.. Hey let's play dystopian crapscape in the backyard, that's always a blast"

Glockroach: They're all Fallout nerds Llord_Kuruku: I like how save points aren't just something imaginary, they're a literal presence in the game

"He did say that.." The first one she sees makes her pause. Can she trust this old standby in this game? She goes for it.

[SAVE COMPLETE! YOU WILL RETURN FROM THIS SPACE.]

aroseahorseboy: bea that was a huge gamble you just took there

"All right, we're just gonna have to try to get as far as we can and save as little as possible, then. Looks like that's the name of the game!"

The journey through the town commences, with shattered buildings and rubble to navigate your way through-- and surprisingly frequent save points. What isn't frequent is enemies, or anything at all to fight; nothing appears on the screen but your fellow soldiers, and there don't seem to be random encounters.

"First I was excited.. then I was worried, then I was excited again and now I'm just booored" she finally groans. "It would have been nice to have game to go with this opening scene we just had, huh"

The only thing that seems to change is the number of save points-- at first we were seeing them every few screens, but now there's two and three per screen. Soon the screen starts to become a maze of save points to avoid!

Baconnaise: This IS the game bea, you're in save point hell

"Ugh, forge ahead, or quit this one, guys? I really think they just didn't finish this one because otherwise- No Bacon come on, nobody's that cruel.."

HNV: See if you can find one that's booby-trapped, I want to see what happens!

"Good idea, let's see what thats all about!" she steers her party right into the next column of save points she comes to!

[SAVE COMPLETE! YOU WILL RETURN FROM THIS SPACE.]

The whole row keeps saving her place... until the last one. This one causes Zoku to pixelate and disappear!

The black Continue/End screen appears.

"Well that was.. underwhelming?" she reflects on the game a moment. "Heh, the last one. I guess so. Weird."

aroseahorseboy: Bea these are weird but i honestly can't get enough of them Baconnaise: Me neither, keep doing them Don't question it just keep going til you get to the men

"Well, we're finishing this page anyway, it's been a pretty crazy session! I mean I knew it would but, wow. It's been great doing it with you guys though, I'm so happy I dont have to make the journey alone!"

Klickitat_Street: At least there'd be plenty of save points for you if you did! aroseahorseboy: we love you too now PLAY, ho ho ho

[zoeykallus]

Hi hello there!

First of all I'd like to thank you for the content you provide us with! I sincerely can't get enough of your headcanons, they're so well thought out!

And if it's not much, can I drop a request? How do you think the Batchers (+ Rex maybe?) would react to being welcomed back home with a tackle hug? They've been away for too long and reader simply cannot wait for them to get up the ramp before jumping her man (bonus if they end up on the floor and reader attacks his face/helmet with kisses 🥺)

Please remember to drink water and take regular breaks for stretching :D

Aloha!

Thank you so much! I'm very happy to read this! 💗

Oh yes, I really like this idea, so sweet!

The Bad Batch / Rex x Reader HCs - Hug Attack

Fluffy

____________

Hunter

He's back from a mission and enters your apartment with the spare key you gave him.

"Hey Cyare, I'm back! Are you there?"

He hears you and takes notice before you come racing up. Honestly, he expects an attack, inwardly already prepared for you to be held hostage and for him to fend off attackers. The stunned look on his face as he turns in your direction, and you jump straight at him instead of an attacker, is priceless.

He's so perplexed that he lets you sweep him off his feet.

"Ughff-"

Lying on the ground, you half on top of him, he takes a brief moment to collect himself. Finally, he laughs and wraps his arms around you.

"I'm glad to see you too, Mesh'la. I guess you really missed me."

Echo

You dashed at him. Your hugging attack has startled him. Echo almost loses his balance, but can just hold himself upright.

"Woah!" he exclaims in surprise, "Careful, you'll hurt yourself on my armor!"

Echo really doesn't miss an opportunity to worry about your well-being.

You have your arms wrapped around him and grin at him. Echo has been out for a long time, and you've really missed him a lot, you're so happy to see him that you feel like you're glowing and beaming.

A smirk appears on his lips as he finally, very warmly, returns the hug and hugs you tightly.

"Oh I missed you my love," he says softly, "I couldn't wait to get back."

Wrecker

It's not that easy to throw him off balance. You take a running jump at him like a spider monkey, arms and legs wrapped around him. You know he can hold you, with ease, or you wouldn't have tried this stunt in the first place.

Wrecker is surprised, but it doesn't take him long to catch himself. He laughs heartily and wraps his strong arms around you, whirling you around until you scream with laughter and ask him to stop.

Wrecker chuckles, "Did you miss me?"

"So much!"

He grins lovingly at you and kisses your forehead.

"I've missed you a lot, too, all this time."

He puts his bag down and kisses you softly on your lips, before saying, "I brought you souvenirs from my trip."

Tech

Tech looks up, startled, and his first reaction is automatic: he avoids you. As a result, you almost collide with your hallway dresser. You're a little startled, just barely able to slow down.

Your eyes meet and you look at each other silently for a brief moment, then his cheeks turn red.

"Sorry, Mesh'la"

Tech hastily moves closer and puts his long arms around you.

"I startled you, didn't I?" you ask, giggling as you wrap your arms around him as well.

Tech reluctantly admits it, but he nods.

"Yeah, unfortunately."

You giggle and squeeze him warmly.

"It's so good to have you back".

Tech places a kiss on the top of your head and says dreamily, "It's good to be with you again."

Crosshair

When you hug him so tumultuously, he almost loses his balance. The toothpick falls out of his mouth, and he makes a grumbling sound.

With your arms around him, you look up at him, beaming. Crosshair rolls his eyes, sighing softly, but then he smirks and puts his arms around you as well.

"I guess that means you missed me, Kitten," he says, amused.

You nod eagerly.

"Very much so."

One of his hands strokes your cheek.

"I'm glad to be back, too."

"Did you miss me?" you ask, grinning.

"Couldn't think of anything but you" he coos, gently lifting your chin and kissing you.

Rex

His reaction to your stormy greeting, startles you both. He grabs you from your run and throws himself around with you. At the last moment, he realizes that you are not a danger and turns around so that you land on him and not on the hard ground.

With your hands resting on the breastplate of his armor, you look at him, startled.

"What the hell was that?" you ask, perplexed.

Rex smiles apologetically and kisses your chin before saying, "Mesh'la, I just got back from a mission, I guess I haven't quite put down combat mode yet. Sorry darling."

You laugh and shake your head.

"Okay, good to know, no more stormy hugs when you get back from a mission".

He straightens up and helps you to your feet. You beam at each other, incredibly happy to finally see each other again.

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaws

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@starwarsnerd111

[vinnybox]

Hi,,,, I really like your art honestly it's so cute and cool and well,,,, Talons! Dick hair.... How soft is his messy hair is? Because I wanna touch it,,, would he like it being touched? Oooo does he like head pats or hugs? Uh sorry if I'm bothering ya I love your talon au

Hello there!! :D I see you around in tags and sometimes Tumblr rec your posts on my dash! Glad seeing you here! Dont worry you're not bothering at all! :3 <3

Talon!Dick's hair is pretty soft once he's back with the batfam cause of more proper care!

Back with the court, he didn't have time to really do much other than keep himself clean, so he didn't have like, hair conditioner or anything like that other than some shampoo to wash his hair and all the other necessary stuff like soap/body wash etc, but we'll leave it at that since we're gonna do hair talk and some fluff! >:Dc

If you wanna touch his hair, depending on which time period you're thinking of, I'll list down a little progression so we get all the reactions! Hope this is fun to read!

Reactions to headpats:

Dick still with the Court of Owls - While here, the court is very sparse with physical affection, if there's any at all. At most, they only tell him "Good work," with a hand on his shoulder if he did something they deem as a job well done. Attempting to pat his head during this time, usually makes him tense and pull back a bit, mostly because a lot of time, physical contact had been unpleasant. When someone does pat his head, he's, at first, confused, and maybe a little cautious since he's unsure if there's any other intent behind the physical contact. He's like "...??" After confirmation that he's not going to get hurt, he'll eventually let himself relax into the touch and tries to enjoy it for as long as he can. He thinks it's nice and would love to get more even if he's pretty sure requesting this is out of the question. The court would not tolerate insignificant requests.

Back with Batfam - After months of recovery, Dick went from being very tense to physical contact to being able to completely fall asleep to someone petting his head or gently running their fingers through his hair. He'll probably ask for them himself too! Either through body language like scooting closer to someone with his head lowered, or being vocal about what he wants. He very much enjoys hugs too once he has adjusted back to life with the batfam and he's more than happy to return the hug!

Bonus! Imagine Cass playing with Dick's hair and leaving him with cute hair clips. Maybe It even become a little tradition where they trade hair clips every time they hang out! Or each of the batfam sometimes has leftover feathers from Dick hugging them with his wings.

IN SHORT: I think after some readjusting back into a more normal life, he's happy to receive and give hugs and head pats! For the Court era, he's a little reluctant to both, but he'll warm up!

Sorry for rambling haha, I like brain storming possible scenarios for this AU (*￣U￣)╭ Here's little treat for you. I'll leave this ambiguous to who's petting his head. Can be you, a member of the batfam, or Wally 👀 maybe even a memory or a dream Dick is having of his parents. Let your imagination decide! Mediocre writing drabble ahead o(-( BUT I did have fun tho hehe!

Upon seeing a shift in their hand, Talon finds himself balling his fists, feathers bristling, and head lowering automatically for what usually came next, only for him to feel fingers carding through his hair gently. He blinks, once, twice, then gathers enough courage to look up and face the owner of the hand currently playing with his messy hair. This... is new...? He's pretty sure he's getting his head petted right now, and he's not sure what to do other than stand awkwardly and try not to fidget. The court almost never did this, and when they do, it usually came with some kind of degrading words. Should he do or say something? Maybe the latter isn't a good idea. Then there's a gentle voice coaxing him to relax, so with some reluctance and silent debate, Talon allows his shoulders to relax along with his body, wings shifting to a more comfortable position. The feathers smooth themselves as he's no longer on high alert for potential incoming attacks that... were never there in the first place. More reassuring words lull him under a blanket of calm, and he couldn't help but lean his head into the touch a little more with a sigh he had been unknowingly holding. If this is happening, might as well enjoy it while he can. It's... nice. Much more than anything he's ever felt. Talon's eyes drift shut to the slow strokes of the hand on his head, and he finds that he's not as tense as he was earlier. For once, he wasn't a weapon or an assassin armed to the teeth with knives and daggers while on a mission. Maybe he's home.

[nyxicnymph]

Uhhh okay you know i dont know much about genshin but but... classic fanfic trope of cafe au for xiaother maybe? i dunno i like cafe/coffee shop aus they're cute-

lkgfkjkjfjksfdjk yes a cafe au mwah mwah!

Liyue Lattes:

Xiao masked his irritation with, well, a mask. Despite mask restrictions lifting, he still chose to wear his, especially while working. No one on staff had given him flak for it, though he didn't know if that was because they were scared of him, or of Zhongli.

No matter. He had a job to do now.

He unlocked the door to the shop, and settled in behind the register, where he was assigned for now. He hated the customer service part of it, which was exactly why Zhongli assigned him there so much.

Zhongli could be a pain sometimes.

Almost as soon as he'd turned around to face the door, there was someone entering. His eyes widened, but he forced his breath not to hitch.

Golden eyes and golden hair, both glinting in the early morning sun. The stranger's hair fell in a braid down his back, and he wore a cropped shirt, mid waist baggy pants, and a dark jacket. Xiao breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth.

Just a customer. Just a customer, just a customer, just a-

"Hi!"

Xiao was so fucked.

He cleared his throat and tugged his mask higher. "Hello, welcome to Liyue Lattes. What will your order be for today?" He recited the spiel from memory and routine, his eyes desperately trying to stay glued to this stranger's face.

The stranger screwed up his face as he looked up at the board. "Do you have anything that's good for all day energy? I have my first dance class tonight but I don't want to get something right before then, and I-" He caught a glimpse of Xiao's face. "I'm rambling, sorry!"

Xiao coughed gently. "No, no, it's fine. Just... You're a dancer?"

He nodded exuberantly. "Mostly self-trained, but I was recommended to a nearby dance school, and... And the first day nerves are getting to me," he trailed nervously.

"I know the feeling. I dance, too. And, well, there's only one dance school in the area, so..." Xiao felt his ears burning. "Anyway! I'm told that this-" he tapped on the menu on the counter, "-is the best drink for long term energy."

"Okay, then I'll order that!"

Xiao nodded, glad they moved on to the normal customer service stuff. "What name should I use for you?"

The stranger was quiet for a minute, before quietly saying, "Xiao."

"That's my name, you can't have it yet," Xiao deadpanned.

The stranger panicked. "No, no, I was reading it off your tag! I didn't- I- My name is Aether!" He was a blushing mess as he handed over his debit card. As he took it back from Xiao, he paused again. "Did you say 'yet'?"

It was Xiao's turn to be a flustered mess. "I will be right back with your drink!" he announced loudly before dashing to the back.

"It's my job to make the drinks today," Ganyu whispered to him as soon as he'd stepped in the back.

"Not anymore," Xiao grumbled, making Aether's drink on double speed mode.

Hu Tao peeked around the corner. "Did you embarrass yourself in front of someone cute? I've been there, it'll go away eventually."

Xiao felt his ears burn. "No gossiping!" He said as he returned to the front with the warm drink. He gently cleared his throat, and called out, "Aether?"

Technically, this was pointless, as he was the only person in the shop at the moment, but Xiao was a stickler for protocol.

Actaully, maybe he just wanted to say Aether's name.

Regardless, Aether stood up, and once again, Xiao had to force himself to not lose his breath as he walked up, looking like the personification of the very sun. He handed over the cup.

"Have a nice day," he said, another phrase learned by rote, but for once... he says it with sincerity.

"You, too! And maybe we'll see each other at the dance school later!"

Xiao felt his ears burning again. "Yeah, maybe," he said cautiously. "We'll see."

Aether left the shop with a grin and a wave, and Xiao released a huge sigh. He pulled his mask down for half a moment to air his very warm cheeks, and that's when something on the counter caught his eye.

One of the shop napkins had made it's way to the counter. Xiao picked it up to throw it away, but a few scribbles on the flip side stopped him. He gave the napkin a closer look.

A small chibi figure was holding a sign that read, "Text me?" followed by a series of numbers.

Xiao choked on nothing, and buried his face in his hands.

He was a goner.

Ganyu took over the counter for the rest of the shift after that.

[dear-ao3]

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks!

Youguys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey

sticks,dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All

right,here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no!

You'redating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be

lunch formy iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former

queenshere in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see

how,by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but

thereare other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your

smokinggun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out

likethis. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But

isn'the your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see

anickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

- bee movie anon