#(even tho he’s actually the ONLY adult)
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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
#writeblr#this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol#by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations#and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me#& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what????#like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it#''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother#and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!''#yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious#anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it#it's seen as the only important thing#even if ur gay#and it's a nuanced thing idk#and while rn i i.d. as lesbian#like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like .#sexuality is fluid...#don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label#they're like GET in the BOX#if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me.#(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)
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The fact that Leo can go literally anywhere on earth to be alone with his thoughts at a single moment’s notice is something that shakes around in my head all the time. Like, portals and teleportation are amazing and convenient abilities both in and out of battle, but they could also so easily be used to run away as well.
I don’t think Leo ever would, at least not most of the time. He loves his family too much, and is too dependent on their love and attention to cut himself off so suddenly like that, but it’s a very real possibility nonetheless.
It’s a good thing Leo’s overall temper is more on the mild side and he prefers going to his room or something to complete solitude, because it really is dangerous for a kid to have the ability to isolate themselves like that at their fingertips.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#and like#it doesn’t even have to be on purpose either#anything could happen where Leo goes out to travel real quick somewhere and suddenly he can’t get back#sure Donnie has the trackers but trackers only do so much when the one you’re tracking is across the globe#that one short of Leo ending up trapped hanging off the Eiffel Tower all alone when he’s still new to portaling#is actually a bit terrifying when viewed through a more serious adult lens#don’t mind me just doing what I like to do best aka think about Leo and his abilities#I’m still saying tho that his abilities make running away so easily#and he’s quite good at that#even if he’s physically there his MASK lets him run away from truly processing unwanted situations or conversations#imagine Draxum telling the boys about the other hidden cities and Leo takes it upon himself to go scout them out#and he does so going around and letting his bros know of the cities he finds here and there#only to end up in one that cuts off foreign mystic energy#like imagine being suddenly cut off and alone#this ability can be SO USEFUL up until it’s cut off midway and suddenly uh oh it’s horrifying
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alright i finished this so i need to celebrate my accomplishment (???) by sharing it to the world
BETTER versions of my trio designs. because boo boo the other old ones were BORING and TOO SIMPLE and lowhighkey UGLY. i had no idea what i was thinking when i made this but i guess design notes before to see if i can figure out what the fuck these mean 💀
killer🔪:3
he got a GLOW UP!!! when i was figuring him out i was thinking like. this man needs to look combat ready he CANNOT look chill and relaxed he MUST look good to fight. killer can't catch a break 💀 anyways. it's ALSO not revealing (⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎) because i feel he would NOT wear that stuff cmon flirty =/= revealing. his charms are found through his words and actions (stabbing someone through the heart) (speaking of the heart i couldn't be bothered to draw his soul mb)
the gloves/shirt/leggings under his clothes may LOOK seperate. but its actually all one big piece!!! because i thought it would be silly and funny :3 but like on a serious note i like this because it provides an extra layer of protection (both in a fight and not) and like. a sense of anonymity i guess??? like you can't see killer's natural body you cant SEE who he was before because hes changed that much (or i guess HE cant see who he was b4 wtvr)
actually a lot of killer's outfit has meaning behind it. knee pads = unnatural body imitation killer is a whole new being now not monster (also adding 2 the combat look :3) belts = restraint killer needs to stay in line and do as he's ordered (i needed some visual interest 💀) zippers on shoes?? actually no meaning i just thought it would be cute. somehow i managed to find meanings 4 all of the trio's zippers. killer's is jammed in that spot. show like idk he is irreversibly changed to what he is now (a lot of this makes no sense)
horror 🪓 :3
if you remove all the rips in the clothes he'd be the most basic out of all of them. but theyre there so he's NOT the most basic! 4 horror i was thinking like "you can see he's fucked up but you can also see he's desperately trying to keep it together" type feel. i totally didnt steal those under socket lines (thank you mania and paranoia for donating to your og versions :3) to make horror look more 🌀🌀🌀 (cannot describe it)
the cloak was stolen from undyne trust. he wears it as a power move FUCK YOU!!! to her :3 also it looks royal and regal which could kinda show like horror's power and sway over snowdin. he's DEFINITELY not a king but he is a provider and a lot of what he says goes around those parts. a lot of ppl look to him as like world's shittiest leader(ish). also i just wanted him to have something unique!
underneath horror's jacket his shirt is reaaaally torn he should probably replace it. there are some holes from when he was pinned down with spears during the core incident and then the whole lower half is just totally torn off from that one comic 💀 but thats why the jacket is zipped up! however the zipper broke and now the jacket can't unzip! (because horror struggles with the fact that horrortale ISNT gonna be perpetually shitty (everyone say thanks aliza) and would rather nobody see him vulnerable)
dust🧣:3
i didn't change much about him lowkey he's pretty much wearing the same CLOTHES. just that the style and way he's wearing them changed. wanted him to give like,,,,, comfy (because bro did not change out of his sansish clothes) but also like FOCUSED o(≧口≦)o like horror he has the under socket line but thats just to make him look more stressed and tired
i moved around the scarf to NOT be around his neck bc it was sooo annoying drawing the hood and then having to account for the scarf. it kind gave him a baby face vibe which i did NOT like. also i think dust would wear the scarf however. very versatile as long as the scarf remains intact. so it COULD go around waist COULD be around neck COULD be around limbs
i didn't mean to do this but the black thingy around his shoulders (was originally there just to fill in the empty space without the scarf there 💀) could be seen as like mourning wear. again with the silly zipper symbolism but dust's zipper is fine its not broken like horror or killer's are because he chose to go down this path. dust CHOSE to zip it up and now its too late to go back now (so bro MUST power through ‼️‼️ he cant unzip the zipper now!!!!)
overall i like these. usually i like coming up with cool unique character designs its so fun but my trio was hard (im hard). probably bc i didnt wanna make then wear anything too weird Dx BUT NOW AT LEAST THEY ALL LOOK LESS BABY!!!! i think i depicted how i see them though like ughhh cannot explain but now they look like how i want them to sound
#i love love LOVE the cloak i gave horror its so fun and silly#it makes him feel so much more im better than you superior asshole vibes#these were inspired by like some old mtt but girl drawings i made a year ago and never showed anyone#so like. i feel like it shouldve been MORE fem looking than the olds ones but surprisingly not#they look gender neutral now!!!! YES!!!!!! mtt just skeletons could look fem or masc but i dont think they would#so they wear clothing in between!!! besides if i wanted to make them girly i have jk fashion au for that#i said no slutty killer but i feel that way for all of them. they wouldn't go around shirtless or wearing tight clothing#they are covered up i swear. none of these fucks are comfortable enough with themselves and anyone else to wear anything revealing#me when i see killer or horror with no shirt on (PUT ON A SHIRT!!! ESPECIALLY KILLER!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING SHIRTLESS THAT EXPOSES YOUR SOUL#and horror's probably scrawny and his bones are brittle so why would be expose them to the elements even more 😭😭 AND he lives in snowdin#something something dust and horror have more classic similar smiles while killers isnt#i was just bullshitting with the mourning outfit dust thing but from the upper half he lowkey does look like it#like a grief stricken depressed maiden. what a surprise that he feels bad after killing everyone he loves#i drew killer with knives here but what i really wanted to draw were like chained blades. sickles. a sword. other blades than just a knife#i actually was gonna draw my trio with different weapons 😭😭 but then i got sidetracked and just drew them with different clothes#when i was drawing dust i was like OH SHIT HE LOOKS WAAAAY TOO MUCH LIKE CLASSIC SANS.#it was unnerving. this is why i give them all different eye shapes to differentiate them!#now they all look more serious and grown up. even tho theyre all grown adult fucking men and damn horror's like 30#dust and killer look more ready to fight and horror looks more like. authoritative???? idk but its a good look 4 then#i desillyfied them. i /srsed them. i got rid of all the fun and whimsy but its ok i guess. maybe these will be easier to draw at least#UGHHH now i have to memorize these designs. only downside.....#now they all dont look similar or like branches of eachother. idk how to feel about that#prior they were clearly all connected. like a precure team they had differences but the overall vibe was the same#does this mean i have to change the mst's outfits to fit with the mtt's now 😭😭 dont wanna!! i dont wanna redraw the mst!!!#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule art
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It’s actually really funny that Jae-ha (25) considers Hak to be the ‘other adult’ in their group, when Hak is literally 18 years old
#kija is 20! he’s the other adult!#but of course Kija has lived a sheltered life and isn’t interested in what Jae ha considers milestones of maturity#the same for Shin ah who’s also 18 but again- sheltered would be an understatement#(Zeno is an outlier and cannot be counted)#(even tho he’s actually the ONLY adult)#but even in isolation it’s kinda hilarious that this 25 yo man keeps looking at this lovesick high school Senior and going:#‘alright now that the kids are asleep why don’t we go pick up some bitches’#HAK IS 18! he is also a kid!!#(he just hides it better in all matters not related to Yona)#akatsuki no yona#Tribble post
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I think if I'm ever a parent, I'm gonna make my kids play outside for an hour after school instead of doing homework, and if the weather is bad or they don't wanna play outside, then they can either do a craft or free read (or switch from one to the other) bc I feel like building motor skills and reading comprehension are more important than being forced to slog through 2+ hours of bullshit that you already spent all day doing, and if they get marked down for doing homework, I'll explain to them how grades don't actually matter until you get to college (and even then, Cs get degrees) and it's more important to enjoy childhood and learn through reading and play, and homework is bullshit that actually discourages people from learning
#knowledge is more important than grades!! knowledge is more important than grades!!!#literally the two big things keeping me from going back to college classes are: homework. and also#like halfway thru the quarter I'll forget an assignment and immediately feel like I'm back in my parents' room being screamed at by my dad#bc he just checked me grades and now he has to yell at me until I cry for not doing my homework#and it turns out that gives me a lot of anxiety about school as an adult!!! who knew!!#I should clarify that the anxiety is triggered by checking my grades and getting a grade below 80%#it's not immediately when I forget the assignment I just usually realize that when I go to check grades#which I do obsessively bc I Have To See That I'm Doing Good#to be fair. I did immediately go from school to the TV most days bc I needed to get my dopamine hit from watching the show I was obsessed w/#which to my parents read as 'not trying hard enough' bc I was 'such a bright kid!' even tho I was getting lots of Cs and Ds and sometimes Fs#(I knew I was fucked when I had to take home an F on my progress reports 😬)#so like. it was a problem they exclusively tried to solve by yelling#and I wasn't supposed to be upset by that bc they were both actually hit by *their* parents so I was just being 'sulky'#and now that they know I have ADHD my mom is rly apologetic about back then and she rly has changed how she sees that stuff#which I rly appreciate!! and I love my mom and dad and this was p much the only thing they fucked up but like.#I'm gonna tweak their approach a bit. y'know?
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filing these under “lines that make xarrai feel extremely normal” as well.
#this whole conversation is a lot for them. LMAO.#i have actually fully rewritten this one as a dialogue study too bc it’s like. a very important moment for them but#idk man. i wish u could argue with him more in game LOL#this convo makes me and xarrai both batshit insane tho LOL#the inbuilt banite ambition they run from but cannot shake (let him take this power and then take it from him)#vs the love for him they refuse to admit is love (this will ruin him)#they don’t WANT this power and they don’t want him to have it but they can’t shake the part of them that plots out how to get it.#but they have to be better than what made them or none of it was worth it etc etc etc i am rambling. anyway. bye#oc. xarrai#r. hold me like a knife#(for durge!xar they r much more like ‘idk if this is a good idea but i will maybe help u??’)#(canon!xar is (after they get over their knee jerk reaction of Oooh I Want It) is very directly to his face like ‘this is an awful idea.’)#realized these tags r not even about the lines in the screenshots. lol.#the whole ‘what cazador did was only wrong because it happened to *me*’ cuts them like a fucking knife tho LOL#it’s such a flagrant rejection of everything xarrai has said to him by this point. and he doesn’t even recognize it as one LOL#but xar hears that as ‘every bit of genuine emotion you’ve shown me and the trust u put in me with ur past meant nothing :) sowwie’#‘it was only bad bc it happened to me and that means it’s not bad when ppl like cazador do things to ppl like u either :)’#and they Know that’s not what he means. but instead of communicating like an adult they just seethe abt it LOL#okay sorry now i’m done.#lord only knows why i exclusively drop lore in the tags.
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Always and 100% standing by my belief that Brooke had a genuine crush on the genuine Jeremy from the moment she looks up and says ‘huh, I never noticed him before’ forward, increasing when he addressed her first at the mall but already existing prior to that
#Maybe I just ship every possible bmc couple. But. Fuck#Brooke and Jeremy compel me so#Even in canon#She seems to actually like him. The weird guy who goes LOOKIN. PRETTY. SEXY. BROOKE. And sounds like he’s dying#She’s flirting with HIM primarily#the squip is just using the crush she already had to jeremys advantage to use her as a ladder rung#She just wants to be her own individual and feels like jeremy actually sees that and she sees him#But in the end she’s actually just. A secondary choice. As always. FUCK.#brooke lohst#jeremy heere#be more chill#bmc broadway#specifically because a lot of these little additions only exist there#Wait to add to what I just said tho Jeremy is also usually a second choice and in au scenarios.#The idea of two people who have always been stuck playing second fiddle finding each other and supporting each other equally#😭😭😭#the agonies...#watch my slow descent from theatre kid on the backburner to boiling theatre adult#hey tumblr please let me post this???
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I hate that women are made to feel guilty and afraid of being gold diggers for accepting gifts and free dates from men because there is something super sweet about a broke ass middle class motherfucker paying for Your broke ass' lunch 😤
#my bf and i have been trading a 20 back and forth for the past 2 months because we get paid at different times which means#one of us is always broke the week after the other one just got paid. and we both love SNACKIES#literally no way to make me happier than be feeding me its like having a boyfriend = free emergency snack fund#this didnt happen with my last bf ever even tho he made more money than me! he used to ask ME for money when i was unemployed#bc he wanted to buy vapes........... literally wanted to use my Saving accounts for vapes...... i feel like i ''traded up'' a little hahaha#my posts#ok ok i know gold digger and 'broke ass middle class mf' dont belong in the same post together#BUT i know im not the only lady who feels really weird about getting gifts outside of holidays#or not being able to pay for our own food when people take us out but actually#it feels Super nice to be an adult who can eat whenever i want to even when i dont have any money.... thats wicked sexy to me 🤯#and in general its nice to know that money is simultaneously important to your partner and Not As Important as You are#like yea man im the motherfucking queen. bring me money and cheese 💅
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Guess who's broken a new sims record (played the same sims family on TWO separate days)
#the duck quacks#i usually suffer from making new families over and over but now im actually having fun#im on the second gen rn altho the third gen are toddlers!#i started with whats the name. uhh those sims who hate jobs and want to live of the land#i actually..forgot my own sims name but she had that trait + vegan + focused on family. lived in evergreen harbor and ate from the trash#up until she had kids and it became kjnda impractical. especially for toddlers. so she got a fridge#the house was still of the grid tho and she was very green. also she had 6 kids. only one had the happy infant trait. the othrrs had unhappy#i kinda stopped focusing her when the oldest/heir grew up into a kid! her name is robin and she was rll fun to play with!#she maxed out social butterfly and even scouts she was v skilled which was suprising for me when i have short lifespan#as a teen she did get hit by a meteor snd died but i added her ghodt to the fam! i planned to continue as a ghost eith her but she couldnt#age to an adult so i just decided to revive her after a little while#as an adult she moved out. she was still besties with her entire family and honeslyy. that girl helped raise those kids ALOT#all teens judt got appointed to infant duty#good for them that the sims doesnt gave a trauma system bc raising hr siblings after ur mom passed out again is probably.#not good for a teenager. hm . yeah.#anyways robin moved to the city where she still libes today! she is. so fucking talented i LOVE her#she has responsibility emphathy and politeness maxed out she makes instant friends and has lke 20+ at this point#she is on the charity branch of the politica and almost at lvl 10#she completed worlds friends and currently working on the art aspiration! she is at lvl 10 in cha and art#she also married today! i forgor her husbands nsme but hes just a chill clumsy dude who loves to garden and kids#they were v romantic. got toghether on love day. engaged during love festival. married in a 6x3 room in their apartment.#(their wedding was so silly. the apartment is v cramped and full so the routing was SUFFERING)#speaking of routing issues. they got twins! Starling and Sparrow! i lofe them but dear lord is Robin a bad parent#rheir room was small bc apartemenr and the routing was the WORST AND SHE KEPT STARING AT HER BABY WHILE SHE SOBBED ON THE FLOOR EVEN THOUFH#I TOLD HER TO PUT HER INTO THE XRIB 3 FUCKINF HOURS AGO#i gave up soon and aged them up. Sparrow has the unhappy baby trair RIP. honestly before this i thought they would be WAY too doting parents#but ig not.#rn im veru curious to see how the twins grow up bc i alwaus randomize traits n stuff. also! they got a cat and dog! and will get a new rat#when the todds age up. the dog was avtuallt rll impractical bc it cant ride the eleveator alone and pees in the house all the time ..oops#anyways this is the first time in genuinely excited to play again. rip my studies i gotta grind on the hunderd family!!
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Also what’s the difference between them and superbat in which ur not demonizing the brown boy quickly
#like Im sorry if I go into the superson tag it’s like 2 minutes and you’ll find Damian with fangs and on a leash or smth#It’s the same as tim where it’s not all of y’all but y’all definitely made the ‘minority’ of y’all popular so now what#and It’s just. idk I keep saying it’s not Interesting and to me it’s not bc they’re literally carbon copies of their dads but Damian gets#exoticized#like It’s mean aggresive brown kid and all American white kid and it’s so. bland. like It’s everywhere I saw it on Fox News last night#the only thing that hooks me with Jon is the age up sorry#like idk I used to say I hated it but I was glazing new Trinity#giving Jon heavy trauma is the best thing they could do#now or they’d acknowledge it#and u already know how I feel about the regression of Damian’s character with every single new comic#where we have to go over the same fucking points over and over again and make it seem like he’s never had a friend ever#and It’s never to add anything interesting it feels like every time they find a new way to say Damian was born evil or Bruce is the best#white savior ever#and It’s not even regurgitating the actual issues between him and his family members bc it’s difficult to blame a 10 year old for why his#dad won’t fucking talk to him like a human being - not for lack of trying tho#so It’s like moving forward they’re making Damian snarky arrogant super loyal to Bruce and chalking the past up to his own failures and#wrong doings with ZERO mention of the adults in the situation unless it’s to say Bruce can’t communicate but aren’t we glad he saved Damian#from his nasty evil family. he’s so much better with us white folk instead#like Damian is a fave but I don’t like shit written for him bc it’s so skewed from where we should be#but thats like comic book things the point is#u can Tell they’ve only watched supersons on Netflix and read tweets on Damian and Jon#they still say they hate the age up and don’t know the age gap is exactly the damn same#which actually nobody on here is any better for that either
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#wait i knew there were talks abt moving the science center and probs abt closing but i didnt know when#last month is crazy tho😭 i didnt even get to take my cousins there yet!!#and now if it reopens dt it wont be nostalgic bc itll be a new place and setup :(#also dt is a bad fucking spot imo nobody would be able to fucking get to it by car and i dont veen think its a good tourist spot#like its not at all. thats literally a fun science place for kids imo. i went again as an adult i think id know#also the location it was at allowed for a little nature walk which is like. partially the point of that place. nature. among other things.#anyway it was pretty and cool and last time i went a big school of kids were there so i know for a fact kids were having fun#with it waaay after i outgrew it so.this is just sad :c#also my cousins wouldve liked it a lot imo bc ones just. really curious and touches everything. which the.place lets kids do.#omg she's love the kids play area sm and i havent gone back bc i am. not accompanied by a kid. but i couldve seen it again w her sobbss#and the other one is grown but like#science nerd. sort of. he likes space which they.also have#but theyre both v silly and i know itwouldve been a lot of fun aAAAAA why did i hold off so long 😭#actually i only searched it bc ripleys aquarium has a dragons/myth exhibit and like. girl what r u on abt rn#anyway ummmm aquarium kinda expensive and im not paying for 3 but alone is boring and tbh its p expensive even alone😭#like ive been there and its lovely but ummm no thank you 😗#44597
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I have this problem that’s like the opposite of nostalgia or something where some things I remember liking a lot as a child I look back and only remember the bad times.
This is specifically about Animal Crossing, loved that game as a kid, but I have literally no idea why, cuz it was just pure hell for me from what I can remember.
#also blues clues but less severe. I like blues clues. but my only childhood memories are when I was scared of it#YES I WAS SCARED OF BLUES CLUES. I HAD A HUGE FEAR OF MYSTERIES. IDK HOW OR WHY. ALSO MY MEGALOPHOBIA DIDNT LIKE THE CLOSE UP PAWPRINTS#the Halloween episode also scared me on several occasions. yes I was a baby. still kind of am.#but like I still have positive feelings about blues clues but ANIMAL CROSSING. ohhh man.#first of all that megalophobia I mentioned uh yeah not a big fan of seeing those big fish.#I was terrified of the rumor that you could see a GINORMOUS fish in the ocean. and I’ve been hearing it was REAL? worst thing ever.#but like. I couldn’t even take care of my irl self so you KNOW my village was totally trashed.#so I had to play while constantly getting told ‘everyone HATES living in this town’ and trying my best to fix it but it’s out of control and#I can’t bring myself to clean (I did it once. it was the happiest I’d been finally getting told positive things.)#my house always full of roaches too lol foreshadowing my life as an adult#ALSO THOSE FREAKING DANGEROUS BUGS WOULD GET ME ALL THE TIME I was always playing at night and getting terrified#I never had a ‘favorite villager’ in the traditional sense cuz none of them ever stayed long. they hated my town.#my fave was actually stitches but I never saw him. maybe I saw him once and he IMMEDIATELY moved out. that was my life.#I can’t name a single villager I ever had in my village cuz they always moved out. I learned not to form attachments even tho I wanted to.#and don’t even get me STARTED on Resetti. if you are a Resetti lover then WE ARE NOT MEANT TO INTERACT 😭#I’m joking I won’t judge you as a person if you like him but at the same time I genuinely on god hate him#opening up the game was a nightmare cuz I knew without fail every time I would have to see him.#‘just save’? it wasn’t ever ME that was doing it. it was my little siblings. and NO I couldn’t stop them. they were like GODS at stealing#not to mention parents would always side with them and make us share the games. they liked to delete saves and were gods at that too#but anyways so I was always stuck with Resetti cuz my siblings couldn’t leave my game alone and also couldn’t bring themselves to save befor#stopping. so every day it would be Resetti. I dreaded it so much because he is like SUPER reminiscent of my abusive step father at the time.#I often cried while just desperately trying to get thru his lectures. they were SO. LONG. and OH MY GOD the time he made me repeat something#I legitimately don’t know what it was but like I kept failing it. I know I was rlly bad with copying things as a kid#there was a time where I made the painful decision to quit in the middle of his rant. knowing that it would be worse next time but I was#simply unable to take it at that point in time. HOW EFFED UP IS THAT. THAT I JUST WANT TO PLAY A DAMN GAME BUT I CANT CUZ OF THE TRAUMA.#I hate Resetti I hate Resetti I hate him so much ‘oh he’s just a character’ THATS WHY IM FREE TO HATE HIM BABY!!! IT MAKES IT WORSE THAT PPL#DELIBERATELY CREATED A CHARACTER LIKE THAT HONESTLY! WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT TO POOR INNOCENT ME!!!#anyways yeah literally everything about animal crossing is so distressing to me and yet I remember loving it. no idea why.#my memories of it have like a dramatic and eerie vignette#and that newer one that came out and everyone was so excited. I can’t handle it cuz of the FISH AGAIN!!! MEGALOPHOBIA BE LIKE!!!!!!!
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Mourning the loss of what a good writer I could've been if I had stuck with it but noooo all my family just had to tell 9 year old me that being an author was a stupid dream and I HAD to go into science fml
#sumarmz waffles#i feel like turning this emo in the tags tho#sumarmz is emo#anyways emo time#its so frustrating bc like i was so set on it and i full on wrote a 100 page story about my pet birds (i was obsessed with them(#and like everyone knew how set i was on being an author#the only person who like actually supported that tho wss my dad#weird to think about how hes the only one that supports my interests considering how shit he is#but then again#when it comes to parenting hes not horrendous#like he is not a good father and thats a whole different thing#but i mainly hate him bc of things my mums told me about#but then again my mum is a whole different story#idk what to believe anymore#all i know is that i used to get scared when they wrre in the same room#idek why i didnt see them speak once until last year when my mum asked for a divorce#even when i didnt know anything about their relationship it was still tense#bloody hell how did i get here#i was talking about my interests what am i yapping about#anyways#sucks that full grown adults got pissy that a 9 year old had big dreams#and when i decided yk what ill compromise and be a vet bc i like animals but its sciencey#IT STILL WASNT ENOUGH FOR THEM#LET ME DO WHAT I WANT BRO#then my mum was like oh be a biomedist its good pay and u make medicine#she doesnt know what a biomedist is#i did my own research and she has not a single clue of what its about#then i wss like fine i'll be a dermatologist im into skincare#my mum hates that too but whatever#anyways now idk if i actually want to be a dermatologist or if thats just a result of me settling and compromising
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oh the hotel arc is starting it is here
#i had a thought bc of the chapter title#the the opening made me remember that these arcs have wrapped up rather nicely#so we can't end fol on this note#but surprise surprise it is the most open-ended of the bunch#didn't expect to start hotel arc halfway thru the chapter but hey hey hey :)#it makes sense given how fol arc jus ended#this makes me wanna... touch up what happened end of hospice arc#r those 2 jus gonna sit tight or are they headed somewhere#I forgot abt the girls too tho i think now that their mission is done they were gonna lay low#bard on the other hand idk given more... happened tho I'm not sure if those 2 are aware#don't think they were around for the reaper stuff#anyway finny n kids incoming!!! at the very least to the opium den to meet the rest of the gang#their half of the chapter was so funny bc i forgot they were being shot at#then the adults were all like 'yea it was made to be inescapable' n i had to laugh bc..... finny is with them so actually no#super touching that...what's his name i forgor. the one finny saved#that he came around at the end when they surfaced and threw his arms around finny. sweet of him#he didn't even have dialogue this chapter but the emotion was Felt#this actually flew by bc of how little dialogue there was but at least it wasn't 10 pages#ig that was also the anime premiere so yana must've been heckin busy#i forget sometimes how busy not just a mangaka but an artist yana is when I start counting pages#so many responsibilities... how does one person do it all#next time I will get a read tag i prommy. until then hope this is vague enough for ani-onlies#< OOPSIE I do have a tag!!! added#c reads bb
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my parents are very good parents and i love them very much but i think i will die before i lose the chip on my shoulder that i have about the fact that they had me prioritize tennis (a sport i am not good, hated doing, started late at, and immediately stopped the second i was told that i could) over other extracurriculars i was into, to the point of interfering with the latters in service to the former
#personal#the most egregious examples are when they scheduled some tennis camp thing to do with my cousin#that overlapped with the shakespeare camp i was in that summer#and i had to miss a day of shakespeare camp for the stupid tennis#even tho i LOVED shakespeare camp and had such a blast and could spend time with my cousin in other ways#instead of playing a sport i hated#and the worst one: having ME (a profound horse girl since the age of four) full on quit riding and do regular tennis lessons instead#the riding thing is the big sticking point for me but also not really cuz again this is a minor issue#and they're brilliant parents in most other aspects and the parts where they weren't have been ironed out now that we're all adults#but i did not spend the first ten years of my life saying i wanted to be a jockey just to be made to quit against my will#for tennis#i despise tennis! the only reason we did it was because my dad also does tennis and could help us practice#case in point my sister also quit tennis as soon as she was able even tho she stuck with gold#(aka the other sport my dad really wanted us to be able to learn cuz he's also good at it)#(my sister's actually very good at golf she was captain of the golfing team her senior year)
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i was gonna comment smth else on this but YEAH. someone give this man (Oda) other copics/water coloring tips. and maybe some different color direction for the anime at Toei. absolutely, the anime could have kept this coloring consistent all throughout the anime, even when the colors started getting lighter post-timeskip. the early anime had interesting deliberate artistic choices in both direction and for the cast designs, so it's hard to imagine that something like the switch from cels to digital could have influenced the decision so hard. It should technically be easier to keep a wider gamut of choices with digital color, no? With Blackbeard as comparison, it seems especially obvious, that the choice is is there, but they don't use it anymore. The cast would seem more interesting in animation with different skin colors, and nowadays they just seem bland. Watching the older anime as a kid in the early 00s, it just made sense that many characters had tan or varied tones of skin colors. Also, spending a lot of time in the sun, people generally just get a tan, right? (Thinking of characters like Franky and Mr 3) Did the Strawhats spend 2 years under a rock and that's why they're so pale now? On Oda's part, it almost seems like indecision, while on Toei's part... a weirdly deliberate change in a different direction altogether. So yeah, wish the colorism wasn't there, but I guess at least it's very easy to see for people who do actually see it. i know i joked abt giving him more copics/ watercolors but genuinely when u are an artist that long. it's not that hard to figure out!! as a fan i'm ofc curious where the story goes etc. but as an artist i'm disappointed in the anime on this sole aspect. the anime already has a lot of pale-looking characters everywhere so a few strawhats looking a bit darker skinned or having different shades of some tan skintone would probably not hurt the look of the anime.
made a chart of the straw hats' skin tones with the colors being screencapped directly from the episodes, to show how much they've lightened. this is more than just an "artstyle change" or "design evolution" or "just the timeskip" this is blatant racism/colorism. it's fucking ridiculous and i don't understand how toei is continuously getting away with it please reblog btw, i think this is something people should see
#feels weird seeing skintones i personally associate with myself or my family (as an artist)#being relegated to jokes or discourse or villains only(tm)#but i guess we'll see#the anime is still going thru artistic changes so literally things are up in the air for changes#saying also as someone who had darker skin growing up and is now getting paler as an adult#pale also looks different from person-to-person#they even make brook pale in the flashback's even tho he's dead and seeing his flashback self in brown tones would not. it would prob not be#whitewashing#i guess we at least have the liveaction show with it's real cast of real ppl who have different shades of skintone under different lighting#one piece#one of these days we'll get back to the darker coloring but that's just a weird semblance of an idea in my head so idk#anyway nice to see that there are fans actuall discussing/posting abt this#reblog#texty
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