#(even if it might look cool from an external perspective)

[age-of-moonknight]

“8-Ball,” Vengeance of the Moon Knight (Vol. 2/2024), #5.

Writer: Jed MacKay; Penciler and Inker: Alessandro Cappuccio; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit

[lyledebeast]

New Thoughts on Visual Representations of Violence in The Patriot

As I was reading through reviews to plan a lesson on evaluating sources for my students, I kept seeing descriptions of The Patriot's extreme violence (which is wild looking back from 2024!) and of Tavington's excessive cruelty. And it occurred to me that anyone who had not seen the film would probably expect those two things to be connected, and they would be resoundingly incorrect.

The most striking example of Tavington's violence is, of course, the burning of Pembroke Church. The scene is visually arresting, but for very different reasons than we might expect seeing Tavington's superior officer describe his tactics as "brutal" and learning the populace has named him "the butcher." In one a wide shot of the interior, fading sunlight is shining through the windows, illuminating the congregation, all of them in cool tones so that the one bit of color that catches the eye is the back of Tavington's red jacket as he addresses them from his horse. It looks like an 18th century painting. It looks like it could be a shot from Stanley Kubrick's Barry Lydon (1975). The same goes for the wide shot with the church going up in flames as the British dragoons and regulars look on. What is absent from this scene is actual visualization of violence. Once Wilkins lights the church and smoke begins pouring underneath the doors, the interior shots become very tight, focusing on the terrified faces of women and men. We never see them again. The scene inside the church ends before anyone can so much as cough, and John Williams' score rises in the external shots to drown out the screams of those trapped inside. The next visual reference we have to the Pembroke congregation is freshly dug graves with neat little white crosses.

Tavington's other kills are similarly crisp and clean. He kills both Thomas and Gabriel Martin with wounds through the torso, from a shot and saber respectively, and while they do not appear to be in the bloom of health when they die in their father's arms, nor are their deaths remotely messy. For reference, Wade is wounded through the torso in Stephen Spielberg's Saving Private Ryan from two years earlier, and his dying produces buckets of blood. In one scene featured only the extended cut, we are meant to believe Tavington and Bordon have tortured a man to death without either of them getting stained by so much as a drop of blood.

Meanwhile, Benjamin Martin is also evoking a classic of 70s cinema in a scene I will henceforth only describe as The South Carolina Tomahawk Massacre. When I went to Amazon Prime to pick up where I left off on my last viewing, I got to see this scene completely unprepared. And I was reminded that it is visually horrifying, audibly gut-wrenching, and goes on for longer than most kills in slasher movies. Most of the shots in this scene are close-ups of Gibson's blood-splattered face as he grunts with exertion and finally screams, redoubling his efforts. There is a score in this scene, but the thwack of the tomahawk going into the British soldier's back again and again cuts straight through it. There are also some PoV shots from Martin's sons' perspectives, but every time I see this scene I'm grateful that there's no Martin PoV shot. That would show a degree of bodily destruction I could never unsee.

Frankly, I'm at a loss as to why this is. Why is the villain's violence so sanitized it would be at home in one of Disney's darker offerings while the apparent hero takes a literal blood bath half an hour into the run time? Who is this audience that can stomach cannon balls tearing off men's heads and legs but not the charred corpse of a woman or child? Is there something rugged and manly about Martin getting soaked in blood like Carrie at the prom and something effete about Tavington's distaste for excess in his violence?

You tell me! There are more ways to take this than I could write about out or probably even imagine. Reblogs and replies are equally appreciated, as are DMs. I want to read someone else's thoughts for a change!

[howtodisappearcompletelyand]

kicking my legs like the focus of The Metaphor Of All This Is Most Important throughout things & that like nobody's powers are solely "what would be an epic power" rather than "what's the way someone's personality / tendencies / interests / strengths might be made into this Exceptional, Distinctive Thing That They Do that 'serves a purpose'" & like it's so neat the way the idea of Seeing The Future is made to work a certain way such that other characters & the plot can interact with it more readily than it all being inside bruno's head; that (at least in what we see, no issue with having the best of both worlds & hc'ing that he can have visions Only He sees / that occur spontaneously) not only can other people see them if present but the "you're seeing exactly what i am," i.e. he has to Look At It as this external visual phenomenon too & could miss something just by it being outside his field of vision lol....but also the way that of course this means like, Like Mirabel in all those ways they're so so similar & that's entirely relevant, he's also having to Observe & Interpret through his own perspective, from literal vantage point to personal interpretation of the info

(oh & also like emphatically that i interpret that his vision re: mirabel wasn't actually open ended or showing two Possibilities, it was just Different for being That jam packed lol & everything he ever sees Will happen, it was just like yes mirabel will be connected to the house being unbroken, breaking, whole again, yes mirabel will Embrace Her & it's abuela but also, & more immediately, isabela lol, had to be Both)

also it's so fun like The Sands Of Time being made into this way the visions Display for him (and just are very fun & dramatic. bruno's theatricality....his real gift is Acting Aheheh like screamm & that is so Good & what it says that nobody brought it up about him ever like iiii'm) & that even then beyond that there can be this plot point of mirabel able to Find A Vision b/c they Also form into tl;dr tablets made out of the magic affected sand which, in being a tl;dr are all the more Open Ended in Interpretation, which feels entirely relevant to Themes & everything lol....that there's all this Green Glowiness that's "ominous" but it's like nah that's just how it is? whaddaya gonna do? it's just green & glowy? (again relevant to themes like....what's the problem w/things about bruno's being disabled being associated with his Bad Vibes lol. it's just green. that's just how it is) & the design too to have Just His Irises glow is sooo good & cool & excellent it's all such a slay. & that everything Looks Neat while also like allowing for the way bruno's gift works to weave into the plot rather than like, oh he can just have one about whatever you want to see whenever, but the only way they're conveyed is what He Alone can directly see & interpret & tell you about himself....ugh just all super impressive

but actually what i was thinking of here was The Ritual to have visions....like first of all having there be that ritual & the Sand & the need for a Big Open Space helps Getting A Vision be a plot point more involved than "just find him & ask him" as the Sole requirement, without a reason to already bring another family member into it, already venture outside the walls Once (although idk like again the Metaphor of just operating "behind the scenes" in some hidden & unfancy way is more important than the Practical Details but like, i can imagine maybe Temporarily hiding away in the walls was something he even already did before disappearing; that maybe he'd kind of built up having Stuff hidden back there before he did too; that also maybe yeah sometimes he did sneak out of the walls or even out of the house entirely, but Maybe He Didn't, you can really get creative making things work. but also like seems like it'd be difficult to keep candles & matches on hand without sneaking out. But Also i don't think it's that important unless you Want to work that kind of question into a plotline) where was i in all this....The Ritual. it's also neat how Different it is, to have any kind of "extra" process & materials in using his gift. like that the one other similar case is julieta not being able to Heal With Food without the food, which presumably she always has a hand in making....that again the Metaphor matters, & the granular practical details Can matter to a story if you write it to be so lol, not really having to get into it in encanto's canon plot

anyway & it's very Magical in the way it works with the materials & ritual beforehand & like similarly to doing it in a Vision Cave & the hallway of Visuals that seem to include like "instructions" on how to do the ritual? i can remember it seems to show bruno with a flame in one Panel & with the green tablet in another, & there sure is the question of like "if he has to do this ritual to even use this gift, how did he figure out how to do it?" like & i'm inferring that one potential explanation to read into there is "see, the walls told him" like another thing to Observe & Interpret....& then i was really interested like Ah, & that bruno's gift in particular has this "extra" ritual attached to it, not even Just "oh i need sand to see visions" maybe similar to julieta needing ingredients & cooking tools lol, she doesn't seem to have anything Special beyond her involvement then that is like "okay, using my gift Now" or anything, while then of course that bruno has like Patterns / Rituals that he has to do before / in order to do [xyz], like that he apparently couldn't verbally respond to mirabel while doing that particular pattern of rituals / until after he was done with sections of them that allow him to Move Through That Space. & so My Interpretation becomes like, connecting the ritual to use his gift with whatever other rituals he created that could be considered ocd, like well makes a fuckton of sense with him being especially someone with Lack Of Control, his entire gift would make him aware of the inability to Control The Future, once he sees it It's Happening Babey even if there's nonzero self fulfilling aspect (though evidently it's never wholly / exclusively that), plus of course just like. argh. the parallels of people pushing the narrative like "you Can control xyz" when not getting what they want, bruno as the Messenger of undesired futures basically Caused them, bruno as the exister of disabled is Causing that, just do things right and Become As You Ought To Be....the direct & indirect & intended & unintended feedback over [umm this isn't what people like or want or value] making a feedback loop in fact lol of feeling all that pressure in having no control but internalizing that well i guess you Should, try harder, might be a theme in this story across the board but that ofc the noticeably disabled (& potentially queer) family member Family Weirdo ends up especially "the problem" & thus scapegoated, like mirabel

tangents out here....anyway so that's me then thinking about like, the idea like "what if bruno doesn't Need the ritual" like but what if that's considered in the same context as you would "bruno didn't Need to finish holding his breath & knocking before Responding To Mirabel as he moves along the wall hallway" like, what does that "need" mean there. if he'd be stuck / unable to move along that path without debilitating distress if he didn't do these rituals? why not say that then yeah he "needed" to do them. uno reverse like nobody "needs" to make him stop it, even in a "for his own good" sentiment like i wouldn't agree with that but also You wouldn't drop dead either then would you lol. maybe bruno can make spackle without Needing to be jorge but like, in what way is that really meaningful; if being (&/or acting as) hernando helps him secretly be helping fix casita, if having Weird Hobbies & Weird Rat Friends (shoutout to affinity with animals / being good at socializing with them even without that or acting being made your gift lol. more neurodivergerrrr things....) &c &c helps him live alone in mostly survival mode but also trying to thrive / enjoy things how he can, in what way is it important to be like oh he didn't Need to do this. or that even the idea he didn't "need" to leave like, you can Decide that b/c this isn't real lol but that If He Felt That He Did, boom there's enough of a problem right there, what does it matter if anyone else is like "well, surely you didn't" like

anyway so that is to say just applying the same idea to his gift ritual basically like, presumably even if someone else had the sand & big open space & did the ritual & Tried to see the future, they couldn't, only bruno can, with his Individual Idiosyncratic Gift. & it makes sense if like, bruno already being Othered even by 5 yrs old & in this sort of extra chaotic existence to a degree lol (& like what 5 yr old ever is experiencing a world of Being In Control in the first place) could have that tendency to create his own rules & rituals & patterns for Doing Things The Right Way to seek any further measure of control, makes sense if this would Manifest in his personalized gift involving a ritual. like how i imagine his Seeing The Future is tied to who he personally is too, being in a position / having the perspective to just Observe & Interpret & Express certain things in a way others aren't, same as mirabel was even without that being her gift, kind of a reverse on bruno being good with animals without that being his gift but it being antonio's (or arguably his real gift being acting, vs camilo perhaps having the theatrical / acting tendencies put into into his official Gift lol) like. that yeah maybe if the ingredients of sand + space + bruno were there, Theoretically he could deliberately have a vision, but like. that if the ritual is interpreted as like oh it's Just for focus, grounding, &c it's like hmm well could still say he Needs to do it & the vision Can't be done without it b/c it's like, how could Bruno do it if he Needs to be grounded & focused or w/e other mental effect (since ofc we can see other ppl's emotions can affect their gifts, in addition to the entire The Magic Depends On The Family Depends On Their Emotions / Relationships angle) but doesn't have / execute a ritual for that. To Me i am thinking of it in terms of how his other rituals would be framed as Disabling even if it's like, well, if they make him more Able to do [xyz] actually? at all, &/or without suffering or hurting that would be prohibitive going forward & ever doing it again? akin to like "ah bruno didn't Need to hop over cracks to cross that section of floor" like yeah he wouldn't have Instantly Died. yeah Someone Else would've just walked across with no particular method to it. but if Nobody Else is doing these visions, if it's not really very meaningful to be like "what can bruno Live Without while doing this"....if he merely(tm) needs the ritual for Grounding or what have you, & if this is equivalent to his being disabled & how rituals help him move through his life & do whatever other things, then like sure isn't it more relevant to say he Needs it vs "this means he Doesn't Really need it." i'm thinking of it in terms of like, in turn not Needing to whittle down his other rituals even if they're "weird," no Need to be like oh he Needs to give up his rats now / stop treating them like friends simply b/c he doesn't Need them, like, what is this binary lol. not out here in full everything life & death world, is another pertinent point....plus again like "that ritual is Depicted in that hallway" & also that like, does the sand becoming glass Need that fire? does it Need it b/c there Needs to be that ritual b/c this is bruno's gift & b/c bruno has these other rituals? sure.

all not to say like oh don't think anyone could/would/should play around w/the ideas of the parameters & Rules of his gift, or this interpretation, or anything else. just sure immediately thinking of it in terms of Rules & Rituals bruno has in any other aspects of his life & this also being easily seen as "ugh do you Have to do that (the person presumes No)" & that the "ideal" way of doing things would involve being Peak Normal. & the limits of how relevant it is to be like "oh [person] is only this way b/c of their experiences" like yeah many such cases, Zero cases of "wow, this person has had No experiences. thus they are their pure & ideal self", meanwhile like his ass autistic & queer & Theatrical & so on & this isn't going away, being a family Weirdo is just gonna be part of the way that he is. again thank god that yknow even as it's like, needing a bit of turnaround from mirabel being like "i too feel this is totally out of control so all i can do is try to shift this onto the preexisting scapegoat, it's bruno's vision" to being like oh shit it's bruno himself, & finding him bemusing & weird & like yeah don't think isolation (or ramped up survival mode) ever really makes anyone more of what is considered "normal," but doing what you gotta do, Need to do some might say, & to what Harm especially if not doing it would've hurt more? the Harm of "i'm gonna bully the shit out of them for it :(" not an acceptable answer lol

anyway love that afterwards like mirabel can still a whole 5 sec later be like yeah you're weird but obvi you're cool. & antonio not even being fazed by the [you're weird] part like rather than that This Is The Way That He Is. touching on it in the end like Jorge Is Here & everyone is thumbs up & smiling genuinely & going about their business like thank god lol we did not leave off on some kind of promise that bruno is Becoming More Normal / forcing him to in whatever ways, such as exerting pressure or shame or what have you, is underway....bit antithetical to [you see the consequences of how he was treated] if he has to Fix Himself to be accepted now lol versus everyone's Weirdness & Vulnerability Needing to be welcomed & protected rather than pushed away. & the necessary shift for him being like, same as how mirable Needed to meet bruno & talk to him & see what the family had already done to its last scapegoat & have that context to understand like, yeah, i'm doing this For Everyone, not just abuela or the miracle or me, which makes it more doable even (in addition to having this fellow scapegoat's understanding & full support, bruno being so Optimistic about mirabel's involvement) while bruno likewise is like oh i couldn't do this for Just Myself, but if i'm protecting my scapegoat niece i'm sprinting & tackling my mom b/c when it came to just me i was afraid of her rejection but when it came to acting on mirabel's behalf i'm raring to go & Taking It On & what a great little detail too that He didn't feel he Needed abuela's approval then. we've all been there (the scapegoating / Seeing The Worst / blame going so far it goes in the other direction. in my evil bitch era [angrily pressing buttons on the microwave] or being such a wretched sicko you'll tell off your mom & invite her to hate you 5ever so this kid doesn't experience that b/c like what else is new for you? if you'll be hated either way may as well consider other things in your agency, in for a dime in for a dollar, & so on)

just going on & on but like also Many Thoughts bruno is such a character what a gift. that the peak relevance of the crucial role of Scapegoat being the distillation of that "is it successfully a refuge / protection if vulnerability is rejected rather than actually made safer?" matter & being able to See problems others can't, See them ahead of time literally or more figuratively lol, be willing to Say them even when others don't wanna hear it, b/c they feel they're keeping their head above water even if you don't & are liable to thus point things out or rock the boat like Something's Wrong, Something Has To Be Done, Something Has To Change, in all the various ways that can be expressed....that it's like, so clear on Yeah disability (& queerness) means someone's probably all the less adequately supported, meaning they're seen as "a problem" / "a disruption" or w/e else, meaning they're scapegoated &/or ostracized, while ofc what would support them would improve things for everyone, even if also a change to theoretically benefit Just Them would be reason enough, but that's still in theory lol like more access / support / options is more of that For Any/Everyone....again that they don't "assure" us bruno will Become More Normal Now, that this Meeting & Mutual Understanding Of The Scapegoats is this fundamentally crucial turning point for Everything, certainly first & the most for those scapegoats themselves, Needing each other's support & understanding even if it's "ideally" seen as like ohh mirabel &/or bruno should've managed to figure out & resolve things All On Their Own. right back the ritual thing like, did they Need to?? they both Needed those changes / new info & contexts & motivations, & what does it matter to Want to whittle it down, No rituals, No support from others

& i'm just sooo. it's so great that bruno is so important & the movie holds you at gunpoint like no you Do gotta love him lol, you Need to. or that if you don't appreciate him / consider him important then you probably just don't really respond to the movie much lol given the Cruciality & the perspective of [the main character is being scapegoated as well & is very similar to bruno] like augh thinking of how even as mirabel like obviously as mirabel gives bruno a bit of a push & has that perspective & experiences to do so, it's not like "bruno is too much of a PUSSY but mirabel isn't & that's why bruno didn't break & reform the miracle" lol like. that They're The Same & just need each other still; mirabel was removing herself from the Family Goings On & even behind a wall during antonio's ceremony (& afterwards, Going Unnoticed & removing herself from things, before sort of "having a vision" (i'm presuming casita like was kind of putting on a show there just for mirabel to Convey Info to just her)) & couldn't emerge for her own sake, but only b/c antonio needed her while in the same place she was in & knowing she understands; so too can bruno emerge from hiding not for his own sake but uh oh mirabel's in the same position & needs & is asking for his help b/c she knows he understands. that, oh you know, in the end after mirabel's Best Efforts including full honesty direct confrontation failed, she too was like well i guess i gotta leave after only hurting my family....that even together they can only do so much, the family can't operate differently if the other members aren't like "oh shit yeah okay" & operate differently in turn, no real hypothetical Perfect Way To Do Things that will guarantee that others will do things differently either, relevant too to getting basic respect as a disabled person or anyone else Othered / made more vulnerable/unsupported

finally think i'm running a bit out of Writing These Words steam lol, truly my main point was "what does it mean to speculate he doesn't 'need' the ritual in the context of this disabled character & comparing it to his Other rituals" but there's so much to say like waugh what a movie & what a character fr like well also obviously i love him like utterly delighted. what especial addendums did i think of Just Now....oh for one thing like the autistic moment of like a few First Time Reactions having the same "wow rude / why would ou say that" response of bewilderment to "you're very sweaty" like Shut Up i immediately understand. it's not a nonsequitur, it's not an insult, it's matter of fact Relevant Info being shared, he's barely taller than mirabel & subsisting on little food & holding her up with one hand & if she's Very Sweaty, that is a pertinent problem re: holding her up lol, sure it's a bit Spontaneous to share this but so what. sue him. anyway that already watching it myself i was like oh he's autistic Of Course, & could break down some reasons but truly tl;dr b/c one understands them perfectly right off the bat lol / thee recognition....also theee genderrr in his surely personality & experience related Shrounded Style, god i wish that were me, i always wish it were me [not being seen at all], ever since i was a child i knew even if there was a house i theoretically belonged to i would want to move about secret passages undetected (true)

also it's kind of fun how much it's like hmm can't really gauge this super easily like queer Coding? b/c for one thing it's like, what is the supposed normative standard for what would be liably categorized "cishet man"....all around like, being a bit theatrical / emotionally expressive & such is just kind of an Across The Board thing to a degree, though certainly arguably ramped up for bruno. naturally the That's Probably Not Normative is him being unmarried / no kids when forty (& beyond, but like, the living in the walls a Would Be hindrance there. but idk maybe he had secret relationships. cinderellaing it out here, every night i have to leave & return somewhere with my rats) so you know. also like yeah he's queer b/c a) utter relevance to the Themes & his situation & b) he deserves it & c) we deserve it & d) why not. uh oh "bruno doesn't Need to be queer" lmaooo like what if it's just the way that he is. what if you could force people into doing the normative things but you don't Need to actually & it's better for everyone that you don't....

whew waugh & like great character to be able to Point To like tfw scapegoating, tfw outcast from a group such as a family (including if you left it b/c you thought / felt you Had To, perhaps b/c otherwise what unbearable) (what if it was "merely" "unbearable" for bruno to try to operate wholly without his rituals or rules Ever....), tfw the different ways Clearly A Disabled Character manifest, tfw the theatricality, tfw what a Range he has as a character, [withdrawn, avoidant, nervous] while also ["obtrusive," bold, spontaneous] Big Personality vs Big Trauma representation, hang on tfw not just the rats affinity but the coatis that immediately took to him too lol, tfw tfw aaahh just Scream at the like obviously deliberate "being the Weirdo involves this being a disabled family member" like argh & that this person is this Observer & Truth Teller & his experiences with that parallel to mirabel's role & experiences even as she can't literally see What Will Happen, even as bruno also still has to Observe & Interpret too rather than like having the revelation of The Correct Insight or anything. whew just like thank fuck too that the experience of this movie is is so emphatically like yes this is bruno & we will all be killing for him. for the autistic ocd Family Weirdo. where like how much does it matter if you go "bruno Must think of these roles as personas he Acts & not people he is" or "bruno Must be cishet & now that he's accepted he can get more Normal re: gender/sexuality as well as disability"....also the little possible clues ahead of time about True Things about bruno even before meeting him, seeing his silhouette being shorter than julieta & pepa's, probably not 7ft tall, that that family tree in casita has the like Heart design in the branches around the triplets, not like his sisters directly expressed that they Did/Do Not Love Him or anything lol but you know. oh also that there's just so direct an example of "bruno being disabled is completely relevant to how he & his gift are interpreted, though other aspects of him / his gift are relevant to how his being disabled is interpreted too" in that like he didn't do anything to Ruin pepa's wedding save have his intention & meaning not just completely misinterpreted but then the presumption of "b/c we don't understand what he meant it must have been Fucking With Us On Purpose" a la people like "why would anyone say anything like that" about his first dialogue being to inform mirabel she's very sweaty, I Don't Get It, so it must be that he's causing chaos / being insulting out of sicko / otherwise Wrong/Bad motivation. whereas like no i get it he's talking about issues re: him holding her up. Autistic autistic autistic, Decided what you meant & there's no chance to correct this & it's this huge deal & you were trying to do something completely different & like, supportive & considerate & nice & like augh kill me. many such cases of i think about it like ah yes extremely relate....& then it's just like such a surprise like oh what do you mean this funny little guy queer disabled outcast Weirdo is a crucial character who the material clearly utterly sympathizes with (not that it doesn't all the characters. also i like all the characters wheeee) but like You have to sympathize & understand too & everyone loves this little guy yaaaay. so bizarre like oh what do you mean the Relatable Fun Weirdo isn't a peripheral running joke of no importance if not dismissiveness / disdain???

again Whew & reminding myself "you can make other untagged long text posts" in case i even think of other things i want to throw down. many thoughts, never any one true comprehensive post of them all

[homestuckreplay]

Average Rose Lalonde Behavior

(page 862-870)

I’m not saying I like Rose better than John, but Rose definitely has the cooler story right now, so I’m glad to be hanging out with her in this super cool lab which may or may not be part of her house. I thought she picked up Jaspers’ corpse because she wanted to prototype her sprite with him – the ‘dark twisting path to necromancy’ she mentions on p.440. But she doesn’t seem upset when she accidentally throws him onto the transportalizer. ‘Oh well. Ashes to ashes you guess.’ (p.863) is reminiscent of ‘I would describe my feelings toward the animal as lukewarm’ (p.442), but could also be more of a ‘I don’t have time to deal with this on top of the other 413 things I’m dealing with’.

But hey. Where did that cat go?? Is Jade going to go outside and there’s just a transportalizer there with a dead cat? Will there be a twist where it’s Jade who prototypes Jaspers, not Rose? The similar technology makes me suspect their locations are linked, as does the ‘UNESTABLISHED IN’ countdown timer. Jade growing up with this timer would explain how she knows today is ‘the big day’ (p.838).

Rose of course enters the lab 4:13 minutes before Skaianet Laboratory is unestablished, which could mean ‘destroyed’ (by a meteor, perhaps) or could mean ‘shut down, power turned off’ and either way, Rose doesn’t have much time. It feels soon to see this timer and could mean this is a short act, or could mean there will be a lot of cutting back and forth between characters. But either way I think Rose getting into the Medium in three minutes having not even connected with a server player yet is a tall order. She might end up just moving to increasingly strange locations while she waits.

It’s very funny that Rose ‘I think trees are elegant’ Lalonde has been using trees wrong for the entirety of her fetch modus career. ‘Root’ even being an option is like sorting price from high to low, it’s a totally unnecessary function that makes everything worse. I love on page 868 where Rose captchalogues the hub while still holding her laptop, and there’s a cable leading into her sylladex – I am contorting my understanding of 3D space to process this but it’s a cool moment, I really like the reminder that this compression of space is normal for these kids, and it’s a cool visual when the connected cards shuffle around each other.

The hub also has a very pleasing design. It’s green and square and has lights and buttons. Undeniably a piece of science technology.

PM was an absolute beast with that sword and beheaded that giant mailbox eating worm like it was NOTHING. They’re also far more adept with the bunker terminal controls than WV. From a story perspective, it works that the bunker’s countdown and >HOME command were a big deal and a story-expanding moment in act 2, but now those mechanisms are established, it’s all pushed into simpler images in an external page that indicate ‘the same thing happens’. That’s helpful if a story is going to use a lot of patterns and repetition.

Mailboxes are not cans but I think there could be a place for them in Can Town, when WV and PM presumably meet up on Jade’s island. PM’s sword could probably open a can and the two of them can share in BEETS and MAYO. PM will love WV’s trusty knife. And maybe they can look at that mysterious undelivered letter that’s visible in one of PM’s mailboxes….

> Rose: Check out John's work on the GameFAQs.

[pb-dot]

WIP Wednesday: Le Fin Du Monde

A bit of a shorter one this time around, that post-Christmas lethargy has hit me like a bag full of hammers. Anyway, I've noticed I don't really deal with memorable locations much in my writing. It isn't so much that I avoid them as much as my style not really including a lot of description of external stuff. Oh, if you want to know every nook and crevice of the protagonist's soul, I can help you there, but where are they doing their soul-searching? I don't know. A café perhaps?

Well, today I'm going to talk a bit about a location from His Impossible Brushstrokes that buck the trend, in that I feel I have a fairly complete picture of how the place looks and feels. This is Le Fin Du Monde, a café in San Francisco that sells alcohol or a bar with a barista that opens uncommonly early. It's one of those perspective trick puzzles, duck-or-rabbit pictures, but for serving of drinks.

Monde as the place is most frequently called by people too cool to say the whole thing, which is to say most of its customers, is Oscar and Mara's preferred coffee spot. Oscar likes to think he's above day-drinking at the establishment as pregaming for a wild night, but he is lying to the world and himself, and not for the first time either.

As one might expect from an establishment with a foreign name, Monde is tooled towards the art crowd, the black-painted walls and felt sofas and chairs in muted colors seem to be hand-picked to be the kind of dour that'll get an artist thinking along the lines of art or mania. Oscar for his money considers the whole place to be a den of the pretentious and the wannabe, but he hasn't found another place that has unlimited refills and a sufficiently dank interior yet, and so he keeps going to Monde.

Now, keen-eyed readers might remember me writing about the John Carpenter Masters Of Horror episode Cigarette Burns as a source of inspiration. I chose to name this café after the cursed art film the protagonist seeks after in the movie, although I did feel compelled to shorten it a bit. La Absolue Fin Du Monde did feel a bit long for the name of a café, even if a shortened version was available.

As for real-world inspiration, Monde is a bit of a tribute to my former favorite cafe, a nameless thing on the first floor of the Norwegian Film Institute. Back in my film school days, I used to spend many an afternoon there with my friends as we drank ourselves silly on black coffee with free refills, discussing some film project or other that we'd never get around to actually making, or writing screenplays or other coursework with the measured panic of the habitual student. The place is shut down now because apparently, it's a crime to host nice cafés in downtown Oslo, but it will forever live on in my memory, as well as on the pages of Brushstrokes. I've made the fictional place a bit cooler, I will admit, but all is fair in love and war fiction.

[kikizoshi]

An Example of Working Something Out in Real-Time (Thoughts on How Fyodor's Ability Interacts with Him)

I rarely get such good examples of my thought process, and I think this one is really cool (you can see my explanations form and change in real-time), so I'd like to share here. I'll add in some context in brackets (what I was looking at/watching/reading while thinking about a particular point), but mostly, I'll let it speak for itself.

I was trying to see if I could explain how Fyodor's Ability works (referred to as Curse in my notes) from an Orthodox Christian perspective, so here's how that went:

without shedding of blood there is no remission [I was searching for a reason that Fyodor's Ability would cause blood to spray, and all I ended up finding was some stuff about the shedding of blood being necessary for being saved, so I ended up concluding that it was another point of evidence towards Fyodor's Ability being focused on saving people.]

Fyodor's Curse exists to save those who can't save themselves, just like Fyodor himself does [that is, Fyodor himself believes he exists to save people]

Those who wish to be saved, but for some reason cannot [an answer to the question "who can Fyodor's Ability save?"]

So why does that manifest through death?

Because they can't be saved otherwise.

But then, that means that the Curse is saying that some people just can't change. Or that they can't change enough. That they have no hope in this life. I don't like that message. Maybe that's what Fyodor believes though. Maybe he even goes into finding out he's Cursed with this core belief. [Here, I begin to look up hand symbolism in Russian Orthodoxy, and come across these three posts (categorised in order that I read them): 1, 2, 3] Maybe he, himself doesn't know that he has another power in his right hand. In his left hand, he has "punishment", or the "law" (external power), such as written code and principles. In his right hand, then, he has "the influence of blessing and cursing". This "speaking and blessing" are tightly related, they work hand-in-hand. One doesn't exist without the other.

[While working, I'd pasted some significant quotes that stuck out to me from the webpages.]

"The explanation most often given is that Christ’s right represents his merciful side, while his left represents his rigorous side."

“When the soul of a man departs out of the body, a great mystery is there accomplished. If it is under the guilt of sins there come bands of devils, and angels of the left hand, and powers of darkness take over that soul, and hold it fast on their side.”

“Question: Why is the footboard of the Cross of Christ pointed with the right side up, and the left down, and the head of Christ is also inclined to the right? Answer: Christ makes His right foot light and lifts it above the foot board in order to lighten the sins of the ones who believe in Him. And His left foot He lowers on the foot board in order that those who do not believe in Him should be weighed down and descend into hell. His head is inclined to the right, that He might incline all the heathen to believe and to worship Him.”

"[...] it is nonetheless very important as it shows most strongly how Christ in his person unites these two opposites which are born from the very fall of man, which are born from the identification with duality, the knowledge of good and evil. [...] And in the icon of 6th century Sinai we find these aspects of duality brought together beautifully “without mixture” into the person of Christ ."

I kept thinking "If the left hand condemns, then why does Fyodor use it to kill?" But, Fyodor doesn't believe in a fire-and-brimstone Hell. He believes that Hell is made of the suffering brought about by the inability to love. So then, when he says "grant you the great silence", I think he means that he can cleanse someone of their troubles so that, while they don't go to Heaven, they don't suffer in Hell (which is the absolute best he can do for them).

[Here I go to look at Fyodor's "I am Crime, I am Punishment" scene in Dead Apple, which I continue to look at for the rest of the session.]

Fyodor is Crime, and his Curse is Punishment. Crime holds Shibusawa's skull in his left hand, stands on the left side. Punishment hold an apple in his right hand, stands on the right side. Crime appears in white clothes. Punishment appears in Fyodor's normal clothes. The gem is on the back of Punishment's right hand.

Does this mean that Punishment has the correlation with divine? That would mean Crime, who is Fyodor, has the correlation with earthly litigation? Is Fyodor the damned, and his Curse the righteous? And yet, we see Punishment holding an apple in its right hand, mirroring the scull in Crime's left. The apple appears whole, unbitten, but Punishment offers it to the viewer and says to let loose.

The scull represents Shibusawa's death, maybe. His earthly litigation is already over—Crime ended his physical form with the knife. So now, Punishment is finishing it. Yet, while Punishment should oversee the righteous, it seems to instead mirror Satan in the Garden of Eden.

Or perhaps it's framed as Crime and Punishment using Shibusawa to judge the world? It's possible, but I don't like this idea.

Maybe things being so twisted is the point? Just as Raskolnikov twisted facts to believe he was a Napoleon, maybe Fyodor has twisted his own Curse to be a Demon? Since Fyodor believes that he, himself is a demon, perhaps the manifestation of his Curse also follows that. And so, the right and left would both be corrupted.

Right becomes a connection to the unholy—rather than lift up the righteous, Punishment lifts up the damned. Left becomes an releaser of the damned from their burden through spilling their blood and releasing them from the yoke of sin.

Wouldn't it make more sense for Left to condemn the righteous? No, because that doesn't fit with what Fyodor believes.

But I can't get past that the right hand is used to cleanse, not the left [referring to how the right hand is used to cleanse in Orthodox tradition, while Fyodor uses his left hand to "cleanse" Karma]. Unless that's inversed too? So that Left is Right and Right is Left? That would mean that Crime, Left, is assigned to lifting, and Punishment, Right, is assigned to damning. That isn't right though, since Fyodor doesn't un-damn anyone. He just releases them from their sins, so that they won't suffer unduly in Hell. I suppose you could say that Left is helping people from the side of the damned, who, as said, can't help themselves.

So then what is right doing? If this isn't inverse, but just a different take. Right is supposed to lift up the righteous, to deal more with matters of the spiritual. Since Fyodor, a human, can't touch the soul of someone (especially once Crime works on them), how does Punishment interact with people?

Does Punishment guide Fyodor's actions the way that person was saying about the mystics guiding the lawmakers? Is Punishment the voice God speaks to Fyodor through? Is that what he meant by "praying"? [Referring to when Fyodor says something to Dazai like, "I simply sat here and prayed."]

Oh my God, I think that's it. And this voice would have been present for Fyodor's whole life, though for his childhood he thought it was how God spoke to him (and still does, but also understands that it's part of his Curse).

So then, how does this fit thematically? ...Shit. Well, I need to know my interpretation of this. How much of Punishment is Fyodor? They're practically the same person. Practically? Are they not completely? Punishment can't be the voice of God, since it guides him to do this evil. But it can't be the voice of Satan, because my story is based on flaws driving conflict. It's Fyodor's own voice, it always has been.

How does God guide people. Sometimes, he's a voice in their head. Other times, he speaks through the people around you. Maybe Fyodor's arrogance had him assume that God only spoke to him through himself. Maybe Fyodor ignores every other word from God, that didn't come from Punishment. And that makes it so easy for Satan to plant misdirections in Fyodor's mind.

All of this would be allegory for me, since I don't believe in that. [It's important to me here that I don't believe in God because I'm trying to write my story as realistic as possible (other than the whole Ability Users thing), and confirming the existence of God wouldn't be realism, from my worldview's perspective.] Though I suppose Misha [my Bulgakov OC] makes God and Satan canon characters, I don't like the idea of Satan literally interacting with Fyodor outside of Misha. Irl, though, it's always complex. People make mistakes because of their traumas, their flaws, whatever, and it can appear at times as though Satan is guiding them. I'll probably follow a similar concept with Fyodor.

But concretely? 'Crime and Punishment' is the name of Fyodor's Curse, and 'Punishment', or 'Right', is the inner, spiritual manifestation of it. It reflects him because, ultimately, it *is* him. It's not like DID, with a different personality in the same head—this is Fyodor, with his talking to himself a bit more complex than other people. It will, then, reflect what he's going through. Maybe it's a bit like talking to your subconscious. Since it's also him, maybe it can give perspectives at right angles—ones that still come from Fyodor, following a different line of inquiry. Essentially bouncing ideas off yourself, because yourself is capable of looking at the same thing from two different angles at the same time.

So, growing up Fyodor had this voice in his head, which was his own, and which he believed God spoke to him through. Then, at some point in my story, something happens to make Fyodor (and therefore Punishment as well) begin to spiral. I think it's possible for Fyodor and Punishment to enter a viscous spiral. Like when you think yourself into a pit, but far worse, since he can essentially double think himself into a pit. That could explain why he's gone so downhill so quickly. Both Fyodor and Punishment have failed to regulate themselves, and are spiralling.

So in my current story, something similar will happen. Some inciting incident causes something fundamental about Fyodor to shift or crack, and it begins a viscous spiral that somehow culminates in Punishment telling him to use Crime for the first time. Fyodor uses it, it solves the problem beautifully (from his perspective, but ultimately, this event has to culminate in something much worse farther down the line), and Fyodor has that experience to ground his belief that his Curse is for saving people.

[This post has been in my drafts for about while, and I now have come across something that may support my "Fyodor talks to his Ability" idea:

This could actually make a lot of sense. The Devil spoke to Ivan, reflecting Ivan's own thoughts and ideas back at him, but twisting them somehow to make them demonic. I wonder if Fyodor's Ability had a similar effect?]

[sabrinatvband]

The making of a fake ad for my portfolio [comprehensive breakdown]

Here's a breakdown of how I made a fake advertisement for my portfolio.

For the past month or so I've been making some fake advertisements to show potential employers. Before making this manga ad I made a fake advertisement for Vinegar Syndrome's UHD of Freeway. When making these ads I use Blender for most things, but other software is used as well.

The origin of this project started with something completely unrelated; a photo projection recreation of part of my living space. The goal was to create my entire home in 3D for a short film I was conceptualizing. It's something I'll maybe revisit, but in the process I decided to use photogrammetry to create a 3D model of my bookshelf.

Photogrammetry is when you take a bunch of pictures of something and a piece of software, identifying common elements across multiple images, processes depth and other related things to make a 3D model. To create this model of my bookshelf I had to take 106 pictures, which wasn't much of a hassle. I used Regard3D and Meshroom to create different models using the same pictures. Surprisingly, Regard3D gave me a better end result.

The reason I say it's surprising is because Meshroom's website and operation generally seems a lot more professional and funded, while Regard3D's website won't even load for me [which might be because I'm using a VPN but I'm not going to check]. Regardless, almost any photogrammetry model is going to be riddled with weird imperfections, most commonly awkward bumps that don't exist in real life.

It's worth experimenting with both pieces of software; it may have been something about the specific set of images I used that created a less desirable end result with Meshroom. It's worth noting that the materials [basically textures but not] on the Regard3D model were broken when I put it into Blender, and I had to fix the shaders for it to render properly. Meshroom only works with Nvidia graphics cards. Both pieces of software are free. [Also, I used the Meshroom and Regard3D models in the ad. The Meshroom one is only used in the first shot.]

After making the bookshelf model I decided to make another ad. The reason the ad uses a vertical aspect ratio is because I made it after seeing a job listing looking for someone to make ads for tik tok specifically. I realized after basically finishing the demonstration ad that they were looking for an influencer and not someone who makes cool 30-second CGI things . . .

The reason the ad is about manga is because the manga books came out looking very good in the photogrammetry model, because most of the pictures focused on the manga books specifically. Also, it wouldn't have been a good idea to make two fake ads about Blu-Rays in a row.

Making the book models without the bookshelf was very simple; I took photographs of my books, measured their dimensions, and mapped the textures onto cubes in Blender. I used Sand Ripper to get the textures from my photos; Sand Ripper is a simple browser tool that allows someone to take a picture slightly out of perspective and make it "flat". Because it's a browser based tool I had to first scale down all the images in Gimp using a plugin that allowed me to bulk modify images. Because the spines of most of the books were so narrow they got very pixilated by Sand Ripper, I used the UV editor in Blender on the original pictures I took to get better spines.

Blender can basically do the perspective fixing on its own, and so you might be wondering what the point is of using an external tool like Sand Ripper at all. Basically it's just better and less confusing to use fewer images in Blender; only having two seperate materials for a book is better than six, one for each face.

For a few books I cheated and used one "page" texture for all three "page" faces. Also, some manga books have the spine on the left, and others have it on the right; it largely relates to the age of the book, but it's something that's very inconsistent either way.

Creating the shot with all of the manga pages was simple but time consuming, especially since I didn't want anything but the pages to be visible, which sometimes meant setting up an entire page just to cover up a corner in the shot. Turning on the "Import images as planes" add-on in Blender helped a lot; it's essential for any user. For whatever reason Blender's Eevee renderer has a glitch that made pages that were actually behind other pages look like they were infront, and so I used Cycle's render view for basically everything.

I used this Ian Hubert tutorial to give the pages a little bit of texture, and I did a little bit of loop cutting and knife tool stuff to add slight wrinkles to the pages. The video David F. Sandberg made talking about his "homemade" shots in Annabelle Creation was a big inspiration. I cheekily threw a page from Adam Warren's Dirty Pair comic on the bottom left, which is not a manga.

Some of the manga pages I found were a little too low res to use, and so I upscaled them using Waifu2x.

The mirror shot with the books falling took a long time to render but it was a very simple shot to put together. The pool shot was a bit more complicated. If you refer to the photo projection thing from the beginning of this breakdown you'll notice that the tiles in the pool are the tiles from my floor. Setting up most of this shot was very simple, but getting the caustics took a lot of hassle.

If you're not familiar with what caustics are, they're basically the white lights you see on the bottom of a pool, or when light passes through a glass of water. They appear in a lot of contexts but those are two of the most noticable ones.

Blender added "real" caustics to their software for the first time around a year ago, but people had been making do with "fake" caustics for a long time. Even today people still use fake caustics because Blender's real caustics frequently are so underwhelming it's hard to notice when they're turned on.

In the picture above you can see the node based shader editing I had to do to get the caustics to appear. I followed this Polyfjord tutorial, but this other tutorial by Cartesian Caramel also seems good.

I edited the video together in Kdenlive. Kdenlive is a FOSS [free open source software] video editor that's great for making short videos like this. Relative to something like DaVinci Resolve Kdenlive is lacking in features, and it's not suitable for certain kinds of professional work yet. But I find it very fast and intuitive to use. Maybe a few years from now it will become very competitive and feature rich and Avid users will still derisively laugh at it for no justifiable reason, but unfortunately Kdenlive hasn't found its cult yet the way many other open source softwares have.

There are two video files in the ad that have alpha channels. This requires encoding the videos in Blender using Quicktime. The rest of the shots used the AV1 codec; many of the files in this video are less than a megabyte in size using Blender's "perceptually lossless" setting.

For the text in the ad I used the font Shin Go, which I guess is the Japanese equivalent to Helvetica, at least when writing stuff in the Latin alphabet. It's probably most famous to English speakers for its association with the Wii.

The piece of music used in the ad is called Goth Slut (Wet Acid Mixxx). I recorded it a few years ago using a Volca Sampler and Volca Bass. It was recorded to be a soundalike of Aphex Twin's Windowlicker (Acid Edit). I thought it sounded austere in a way that was good for a "cool" advertisement.

I hope this breakdown answered any questions you may have had. I think the real takeaway here should be that it's very easy to create something interesting without a ton of technical know-how using Blender; if you come across something you don't understand, simply pull up a tutorial on your second monitor and follow along [make sure you have a second monitor]. Make sure you have a lot of RAM as well, especially for photogrammetry, or if you plan on using your computer while rendering; since I upgraded to 32 GB I haven't even come close to having a problem.

The other takeaway should be that I did literally all of this using free software. Barely over two decades ago the thought of making an ad filled with CGI imagery for free was inconceivable, but now it's no hassle at all. The other other takeaway should be that it's normal to use a lot of different pieces of software in a project like this. I've already mentioned Regard3D, Meshroom, Waifu2x, Blender, and Kdenlive. DaVinci Resolve has a free version that's very good and feature rich. I used MediBang Paint Pro to create the text PNGs. In many other projects I use Krita, a FOSS raster graphics editing program.

A final piece of software that was indispensable was Stéphane Claudon's Blender Render Queue. As you might expect it allows you to queue up a bunch of different renders so that you don't need to babysit them. It's essential for rendering a bunch of different shots overnight, or during a day you're mostly out of the house. I think it's marginally less resource intensive than using Blender itself, which is great if you're using your computer while stuff is rendering.

Hope you enjoyed the breakdown, and I hope I didn't inspire you so much that you make your own ad instead of hiring me.

[yuttikkele]

Also! C!george being able to see the multiverse through a lil window dreamXD made to show him

What does he see?

CC!george, sapnap and dream watching a football game (cc!george isnt really watching anyhow) (XD explains how everything is pacific and domestic here without wars or dumb monarchies and betrayals they all just live together and chill)

A swapped places AU where c!dream isnt a weirs puppet thing and is actually c!george who is that weird monster (that c!dream stares back and just stares confused until some weird god comes by and XD changes the universe quickly) ("who was that?" '...did i tell you im divorced?' "...loser." '...LOSER???!!')

....flowers from 1970... But its just a room with poems in the walls and the palms marked in them with that specific song playing ("...what happened here?" 'Some dimensions are good and have nice endings and some dont! Thats just how it is' "oh...not my problem anyway") (i alao dont know if you know abt the fanfic its pretty good but also quite old) (no good ending tho)

Manhunt

Mcc

Squid craft 2 (the part where george finds dream just dead as hell) (i dont even know if you even watched the event)

And well if you thought the cc!au was upsetting!

The window opens to the inside of the castle that is decorated with blue and white and c!george sitting in the throne and c!dream is just by the side of the throne with a knight kind of look just talking to him about his day

C!george gets upset and closes the window "this sucks youre an idiot and this is dumb" '...making that window is hard you know?' "I dont care leave me alone i have things to do" 'mean.' "I dont care"

....ALSO

Yess! Draculaura just starts assigning superheroes to her friends (most dont make sense thanks to her lack of knowledge in the topic) then she finds a comic where they did make batman a vampire and she just refuses to think that it isnt the principal story

Clawdeen hates Twilight

She wakes up and posts abt how much she hates it everyday for like 4 months until she finds a good book of werewolves to read

oh my gosh i forgot to answer this i’m so sorry 😭😭 i looked at it and was like “ok i’ll answer that later” and then forgot about it

WINDOW BEDTIME STORIES!!! George gets an au bedtime story POG

weirdthingC!george and actuallynormalC!dream is a cool little swap :000!! AND XD BEING DIVORCED BAHAHAHAHA

i think i remember flowers from 1970? probably? it’s a dnf fanfic right? i think my dreamteam friend told me she was reading it at one point

OK SO. I feel like the external videos, previous smps, and contests are still a part of the dsmp. At least most of them. Like, the characters are an extension of the CC and their YouTube/Twitch journey. The characters join the dsmp, and they come from different places, and those places are the series the CC is currently working on. Like they have a built in backstory.

For instance: Tommy, SMPEarth and Skyblock are canon for him. Philza, hardcore world and SMPEarth. Techno, Hypixel, MCM, SMPEarth, so on and so forth. BadBoyHalo, MunchyMC, videos with Skeppy, and MCM. And Dream, MunchyMC and Manhunts. MCC for all of these too. I gave a lot of examples just to show a lot of the different places they come from. There can ofc be more!

And I KNOW they said it wasn’t canon, but I think the Fundy marriage was canon too. Just to put into perspective how many of these things are considered canon for anyone who might be in doubt, everyone thought the Fundy proposal videos were canon until they said it wasn’t. Which obviously I didn’t listen to.

I will say, I do continue the “characters are an extension of their CC” thing with the QSMP (like the dsmp part of the character is canon in the qsmp), but with the QSMP, they knew they were making characters, so not all things really flow over the same, at least we don’t know if the dsmp is canon yet (some other old smps seem to be though), but I still headcanon that the island tried to wipe the characters memories and make them forget about important things they left behind so they wouldn’t want to leave the island. Thus, the character is still carried on, they probably just don’t know it.

Anyways, carrying on. I actually haven’t watched Squid Craft 2. I did not know that existed :0

And dw I was not saddened by the window. But like I did just sorta explain, George looking at the manhunt would be like George looking at his happy past. The knight thing’s totally an au tho.

“Why’d I get stuck with the janky old broke hobo Dream?” —c!George

Draculaura says that Ghoulia is the Flash, and Ghoulia is upset that Draculaura assigned her as the “off brand Dead Fast.”

and clawdeen WOULD hate twilight. I actually just started reading it, and it was going pretty well until the whole “dude makes girl uncomfortable but it’s ok because she actually secretly likes it!! Haha!!” thing. I feel like clawdeen would hate twilight mostly though because she sees herself in the main character, but the story reacts in such ways that are just unsatisfactory and not at all what actually happen to a girl like Bella, which Clawdeen experiences because she feels she is actually a girl like Bella and she HATES IT. She’s like, “That’s not how it works! Vampires might have all these super awesome powers, but that’s not what makes them likable!!” (as I haven’t read enough of twilight yet, I just have a hunch about this hc, so I will say my main basis for clawdeen relating to Bella is because she also has a crush on a vampire.)

And instead of a werewolf book, she actually finds the dog version of warriors.

[llycaons]

finally reading the last book of tg/cf and maybe it's an unpopular opinion (I'm not really in the fandom) but the way the female characters are written is a complete let down. Like words can't describe how much I find them lacking. Don't even get me started on the racism (Banyue arc was a slugfest and it took me days to suck it up and read it)

hi anon! I can't speak for popular opinion - I'm not really deep in the fandom either and i get the sense most people just care abt hualian (🙄) - but...yeah....famously almost ALL of the female mdzs characters die, and while that doesn't happen in tgcf, they're not the most impressive. it's not something I think of as mxtx's strong point, tho I do love jyl and rain master and ling wen and jian lan. there's things I liked about a lot of them - lets see how they end up *quickly googles tgcf female characters bc it's been so long*

ban yue: part of the famously extremely racist arc and also a VERY very contrived and boring one. nobody enjoys this arc I think. its a real drag to read and it perpetuates horrible stereotypes. how does she end up...not very memorably I think

ling wen: while I really liked the brief exploration of workplace misogyny, the brocade immortal stuff always baffled me from a character perspective. she ends the story just as overworked and unhappy as before. okay!

xuan ji: overly-emotional woman obsessed with getting a man's attention despite him not being interested. I've seen her character being praised as a depiction of 'stalking isn't romantic' but 1. hc's obsession with xl literally IS portrayed as romantic and 2. this entire character concept is rly misogynistic sorry. she ends the story giving up pm and moving on after he basically yells at her iirc, which is nice in the sense that she finds peace, but it's an anticlimactic finale for her after hundreds of pages of strife

sqx: I don't want to give mxtx credit for creating a trans women/genderfluid character here bc she explicitly ties sqx's gender with shapeshifting and then leaves sqx unable to shapeshift at the end of the story and at peace with her fate. so like. idk EYE think it makes sense to read her as genderfluid or a trans woman but I don't think mxtx sees her the same way and I think leaving her unable to take the form she loves so dearly is a bit sad given how strongly tied her gender has been to her shapeshifting, even tho leaving her explicitly disabled as a happy ending did make me feel some kind of way

yushi huang: YUSHI HUANG!!!!!!! I love rain master I truly do think she one of mxtx's best characters. I do think she's a bit more static and less developed/deep than she could be but her cool disinterest in pm and pm's desperate inept floundering posturing machismo is truly SO so funny to me I love her so much and her backstory is really neat. she doesn't undergo much change in the story either tho so while I do love her she's not really a dynamic character

jian lan: I actually really love jian lan and I think her arc is great. like her personality rules, she's funny as hell, she's very independent and self-reliant and refuses what she sees as pity and fx settling in the end even tho she's a working mother and he's a powerful god offering his support to her. and it foils nicely, if simplistically, with xl being like 'no...true love DOES exist...' and it can be a letdown if you were hoping for her and fx to get back together but I never got the sense they felt that way about each other anymore...I was glad for her to get her baby back and return to her life. she might have the most satisfying arc in the story and that's not saying a lot bc even then it was really barely an arc 😭

re: misogyny in tgcf I always get so pissed off when people praise hc for ~looking out for the abused ghosts~ because let's be real he is such a piece of shit to them and any altruism he shows them is externally imposed by his idolism of xl. I know I've made posts about this before but in that gambler's den scene he fully was allowing men to bet THEIR DAUGHTER'S LIVES being like 'yeah people can bet whatever they want it's their choice' THOSE ARE NOT THEIR LIVES THEY'RE BETTING AWAY!!! WOMEN AREN'T PROPERTY!!! and the way he used those female dancers as props/set dressing to to be ignored when xl showed up and the way he literally ignored jian lan when she KNEELED TO HIM in gratitude because he was too cool to acknowledge her I guess he's actually such an asshole and I resent how the fandom hypes him up so much and how in-universe he's so adored for like???? running a city that shelters ghosts ig but on a personal level he's so narrow-minded and such a mean-spirited and petty dick for NO reason.

sorry I started ranting abt hc. h/l have insane chemistry and their scenes are fun but the way hc acts (esp towards women) and is treated by the narrative is like one of my least favorite parts of the story.

but yeah I feel you. the women are not treated as well as they could have been 😔 but at least most of them are alive! I can't even recommend fgep, which does have great female characters, without serious disclaimers that the main character advocates for genocide against her political enemies (central asian peoples). like I read fgep and I did like it but some of the scenes I had to be like. what the fuck am I reading. also it's a political/military/court drama so there's no fantasy elements

my actual recommendation is to watch the double which is about women in a big way but I'm only like 16 episodes in so idk how it ends either 😭 either way, thanks for the ask! and thanks for reading, please take a look at this campaign to raise money for the family of a journalist in Gaza

[birchatthecrossroads]

Lessons from a fish.

9 July 2024

I was once on a road trip with a family I nannied for. The heat wave was record breaking (at the time), there were two little kids in the car, and the drive was long. Everyone was overheated, exhausted, & miserable.

On a whim, we happened to be driving by a pond with a beach. There were no other people around & it looked nice, so we decided to stop and cool off for a bit.

I had just spent two weeks dealing with especially mischievous faeries, communing with fire spirits, and getting actively not murdered by a cult. I needed some alone time. I separated from the group, found a tree-shaded spot, & crouch-waded in the water up to my shoulders. It was really nice.

There were fish all around too. I asked one

"Master Fish, what is it like to be a fish?"

The fish replied "To find out, first move your fins like this"

I start to imitate the movement with my arms

"No no!" the fish said "not your arms, your fins!"

I said "I... I don't have fins."

"Therein" said the fish "Is the lesson; so long as you maintain this physical form, you cannot possibly comprehend what it is to be a fish."

That is a lesson I took with me.

Jump to today, I was pondering a thing.

Good choices come from wisdom, wisdom comes from learning from life experience. The life experience need not be yours. Learning from the experiences of others can provide valuable insights and guidance.

I was wondering if we could truly learn from simple observation of others.

Observing others can offer valuable lessons and perspectives that may shape our own understanding of the world. However, can we truly observe why someone succeeds or fails at something without truly knowing the person?

Observing someone's success or failure might give us clues, but without understanding their mindset, values, and intentions, it's hard to grasp the full picture. It seems that for the same reasons we shouldn't make flash judgments of others, we should also be cautious about learning from their failures. Just as fleeting impressions can mislead us, jumping to conclusions about someone's failures can lead to oversimplification.

Mistakes are lessons paid for in pain. Perhaps it is always necessary to pay part of that fee ourselves if we are to benefit from the knowledge. Painful as they may be, mistakes can indeed be powerful teachers. Experiencing the consequences firsthand often drives home the lesson in a way that mere observation cannot.

When things don't make sense, that means there's something you don't know. So, If at first you don't succeed, find out why. Understanding the "why" behind our struggles can often illuminate the path to success. Keep seeking knowledge and insights to unravel the mysteries that lie ahead.

Now that I think about it, I'm not sure there even is a universally agreed upon definition of success or failure. The subjective nature of success and failure can make it challenging to define. Maybe we should focus on understanding what drives each individual's perception of achievement and setback.

You are the acts you perform. This is influenced by perception as much as intention. Our actions shape our identity, and how they are perceived by others can influence how we see ourselves. Perception and intention play significant roles in defining who we are.

Self perception, as well as how others see us often mix to create our self image going forward, further influencing our actions in a subtle complex recipe. The interplay between self-perception and external perspectives can create a complex tapestry that shapes our self-image and influences our future actions. It's a fascinating dance of internal and external forces making it dubious at best to truly learn from the mistakes of others.

The intricate web of personal experiences, perceptions, and intentions makes it challenging to fully grasp the lessons from others' mistakes. Each individual's journey is unique, and understanding the nuances requires a deep dive into their personal story.

But the trouble there is the lesson I learned from a fish. As long as you are you, you cannot truly comprehend what it is to be them.

[jdgo51]

The Story Under Our Skin

Today's inspiration comes from:

The Gift of Limitations

by Sara Hagerty

John Calvin said, “Our wisdom . . . consists almost entirely of two parts: knowledge of God and of ourselves.”1

"'We can have the same conversation with God, much like we have the same argument with our spouses, over and over and over again. Rewind, repeat. And often we name this “stuck,” as if God isn’t responsive or we’re not creative enough to capture His attention. But what if there is a third way?

Paying attention. I take time to notice myself. I notice the fog, rather than pushing through it. I pause to observe — without evaluation and strategy, but simply to understand what might be happening below the surface so that I can bring that understanding into my conversation with God. Paul says in Ephesians 4:22–24,

Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and... be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and... put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. — ESV

At fifteen, I thought following God and putting off my old self meant drinking soda at parties, not alcohol, and “staying pure.” I stopped cussing and felt guilty when I tried cigarettes to look cool. Behavioral changes. Clearly I missed the full perspective of this verse, but I wonder whether you, like me, sometimes ask yourself what you’re putting off or putting on. Perhaps these verses are an invitation to pause, consider, notice: What is old in me, God, and what is the new You want me to wear?

I often find myself frustrated with the dated parts of my home and my unkempt closets, imagining my friend’s updated floor plan and organizing system. Without a minute or five to consider what’s leading to my grumpiness after we gather in her home and I catch a glimpse of that closet, I’m spending my Saturday cleaning closets and tearing pictures out of the Restoration Hardware catalog for a dream board.

But with those three or five minutes and a quiet space and some practice at looking a little bit deeper, I see that I feel overwhelmed with our chaos and wishful that I could return to days when decorating could be a priority.

I have something to put off. And I have something to put on.

I have something to put off.

And I have something to put on.

But it’s not about setting aside a beer can for sparkling water (or even the Restoration Hardware catalog for my Bible). It’s about what’s on the inside.

Recently I heard a woman described as “impressive.” She could lead a room. She had a quick wit and sharp intelligence. In her young life, she had accomplished much and seemed to continue accomplishing much. She worked late into the night and won the attention of clients and prospective clients because of her willingness to go the extra mile, no matter the cost. More than that, she loved God and prayed with power.

But I’d seen behind the scenes. I’d seen the dark circles under her eyes and her nervous habits. I knew she felt frayed as a mom, not enough as a wife, a failure as a friend. She wasn’t pleased with the work that wowed others.

She had a remarkable exterior life, but her inner life appeared to be headed for burnout. Christians around her applauded her diligence and her fervency in prayer, but they failed to notice the tightness in her gait.

We are often weak observers, of both ourselves and others, measuring the external and not looking beneath the surface. But the more I strengthen the skill of observing myself, the more I can see my neighbor. There are stories underneath our skin.

Most of us are not merely ignorant of them, we’re scared to see them. We’re afraid to look.

Seeing the stories beneath our skin can start as small as building moments into the day when we notice ourselves and our reactions to the world around us. Simple questions draw our attention to our interior lives, which crave God but often don’t know how to access Him. They draw our attention to the stuck parts of ourselves.

How did I feel after that conversation?

What made my heart race today? And what did that heart-racing tell me about myself?

When did the fog set in and I was merely reacting and not present? What happened just before this fog that might have made my brain go offline?

Underneath my mad, was there sad?

At what point did I start to feel bad about myself?

What couldn’t I erase from my mind?

What happened in my body and my thoughts after that conversation?

The pages of the Word tell us that God delights in truth in the inward being and teaches wisdom in the secret heart (Psalm 51:6). God cares about these deeper parts of ourselves that the questions uncover. He made space inside us to implant wisdom in, but when we’re mostly reacting, that secret heart from Psalm 51:6 is buried. Paying attention to what He cares about — the inner workings of our hearts — is a gentle process of excavating.

We can’t know the anxieties and the fears to bring to God unless we first notice them. Our response to our limits is worth our attention. The Word is full of God’s care for the intricacies of the human heart, that heart we often ignore and shame with phrases like “Why can’t I just get over this? I don’t know why it feels so hard.” He understands the intricacies of our hearts, but we have to first notice them before we can ask Him for that understanding. The psalmist said,

But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I discerned their end. — Psalm 73:16–17 ESV

God gives discernment to those who ask for it, but we must pay attention to know how to ask."'

John Calvin, The Institutes of Christian Religion (Peabody, MA: Hendrickson, 2008), 4.

Excerpted with permission from The Gift of Limitations by Sara Hagerty, copyright Sara Hagerty.

[goblinchivalry]

Summary of Oren Cohen’s Neverafter Interview with Brennan Lee Mulligan

The full interview is available on YouTube here! Brennan talks with Oren about just how scary this season is, how the cast and crew stayed genre-savvy and more.

“Fear not. Except in very small moments where we would ask you to fear.” Brennan Lee Mulligan about Dimension 20: Neverafter

This season is still very much seven people telling a story, and it won’t be abandoning comedy for horror. Brennan doesn’t want people to be nervous about that, though the fact people brings him a little bit of villainous delight. Dimension 20 is still first and foremost a comedy show, and this season honors all of the genres in this horror fairy tale mashup.

There’s gonna be a scene Brennan will definitely jump out of your laptop screen at you, The Ring-style and shout “Roll for Initiative!!!”. There will be scary moments, but they will be in the spirit of making entertainment and not trying to antagonize people.

One way Brennan and the players prepared to tell a horror story was by trying to invest in a richness of character that firmly puts them in a certain type of horror, that being one that a ~20 episode series could sustain. This meant going beyond just the external-facing, primal horror of something like a slasher flick and looking towards internal-facing horror such as the horrifying _aspects _of how people react/respond to horror, and relationships to the unsettlingness of this “freaky world”.

“There are some moments of actual “fright” but even more than that, there’s whole beats and thematic chapters of dread.”

This season is 20 episodes, a first! (Other than FHSY) Brennan thinks this might be a new normal for the most part. With a new studio space and investments from Dropout it seems like we can expect more episodes from the longer seasons.

The entire crew popped all the way off this season! You can see some ofit now with the crazy dome lighting in the trailer, and prepare to getblown away by the technical side of this season. They’ve got people working to bridge the art department with the camera department, more projectionists for the dome, and even in-studio sounds that the players can react to. Brennan himself has some control over the dome too for those necessarily time-finessed horror moments.

This is the first Brennan-DM’d season to jump back to physical minis! [The miniature sets on Coffin Run were so cool!!!] The sets allow some of the verisimilitude that A Crown of Candy had in its gritty, challenging combat. The degree of Ominosity evoked in the battle sets is something to look forward to.

The world-building in this season is so important that Brennan says talking too much about it starts to verge on being spoilery :0 “The Neverafter is indeed wrapped within the times of **shadow **and will take its dreadful time in revealing its true nature to our audience.”

What Brennan can tell us about the Players

They’re all classic fairytale characters: Pinnochio, Puss in Boots, Sleeping Beauty, Little Red Riding Hood, Mother Goose, and the Frog Prince

Some strong vocal choices were made and committed to. (Looking at you, Lou Wilson!)

.This season is very driven by the players and the PC’s perspective in terms of accompanying them through the sense of dread in the world is important.

There were some of the funniest moments of side-wracking laughter in this season.

There was enough real-life stress in some episodes that there are some Adventuring Parties of which Brennan says he has never been in a more chaotic interaction space anywhere in his life. Expect the chaos of people cutting loose after 2 hours of creeping dread. Tune into the APs!

Brennan was unceasingly roasted by the players this season. (by the players at the table, but also by some of their mechanical play!)

Fan Questions

How scary is Neverafter? Are there more relaxed moments to breathe each episode? Brennan says there will be moments to breathe. He recommends maybe talking to friends after they watch episode 1 to gauge it. Fundamentally though, it is a comedy show, and it’s still got _fairy tale _elements in it. “More than 50% of it is the Intrepid Heroes having a ball”, and our desires for camaraderie and comfort and laughter and seeing friends hangout will be satisfied. 

“Fear not. Except in very small moments where we would ask you to fear.”

Favorite episode or battle this season? Brennan loves them all and can’t pick a favorite amongst his children.

Can Brennan give us something that we can see and recognize later (if he wants)? “When you start to see the ink.”

What’s the most fun way you established ambience... ? The projections. It made it feel visceral and real; and rather than having the players have static focus on the table and other players, it made them look over their shoulder, and feel a bit smaller than the world in this looming horror season.

How did you check in and support the players after a heavy session AND how can I support my GM after a story ends?

Brennan checks in by saying “Hey, I’m checking in. How are you doing?”. Trust is huge. Having a relationship based around already doing that makes checking-in easier and makes it become regular rather than unusual (”It’s a good habit to have.”)

“Having emotional care be routine is pretty helpful. It’s like hygiene, and brushing your teeth, right? Are you already in the habit of, after a session ends, having a little 3-5 minutes just to babble and be excited and talk about how great it was. Do you have a little ritual around, like, "Hey I want to talk to you sometime this week before next week [...]"

If that’s a lot of work, you can always show your DM that you care ♥

How many NPCs are planned vs. improvised in a campaign like this? Certainly some are always improvised, but of course this season draws from source material, fairy tales! There were many amazing consultants this season with deep folklore knowledge. There was a huge list of fairy tale characters but not so much with written backstories as it was how they had been corrupted/changed by horror (Brennan’s got a good memory). Some were assigned ahead, others were kept up his sleeve.

Was this campaign high lethality, did the players have backup PCs at the ready? Brennan pauses and ponders before answering. He “cannot fault any of our logic in these observations”. That’s all he can say.

Did EXU: Calamity inspire the farther move from comedy? A Starstruck Odyssey was so wild and fun that a change was already on his mind before EXU:C scratched an itch that he wanted to try with the Intrepid Heroes. Of course EXU:C is tragedy, not horror, but the stretch of tonal difference was really engaging and exciting.

What kind of safety tools do you use?

Formally, X-cards, Lines and Veils, the classics. Additionally, if Brennan can anticipate something could be challenging he will hip his players in advance - avoiding spoilers - but as a way to communicate a level of comfort in advance & gauging collaborative enthusiasm for exploring topics that may be challenging. The formal tools are there for a reason (and recommended!), but are not used as a substitute for the main informal route of building trust, checking-in and communicating clearly.

There weren’t too many instances of that this season, most things were hashed out in pre-discussion, pitching the season, world-building, character creation, etc.

Making everyone feel safe and secure, even when exploring the scary topics, was always a priority.

On a scale of 1 to EXU:Calamity, how broken will this leave us? Brennan’s hope is that nobody is broken and that nobody was broken by EXU:C either! ...

“I think if you are broken... by Neverafter, it will be only to come back patchwork, pieced-together, re-glued, fused into something stranger and stronger than you were before.”

How did you balance horror and comedy elements? Creating atmosphere and leaving room to riff?

They go hand in hand! Monotony (being of just one tone) doesn’t really exist in nature and reality. Horror comes in to interrupt other things, and it’s not sustainable for very long. No one tone could persevere for 40 hours. How do you balance them? How do you not? Some people’s responses to fear is shock, and sometimes that means laughter!

[Brennan’s discussed similar things on podcasts he’s appeared on too. I recommend watching this question to see his full answer, it starts here]

How did character creation work for this season? Did the figures come first or did the PCs propose them? Character creation was them picking their characters. Each player brought a few and pitched them, their behaviours and their takes on them.

If you were a player this campaign, which fairy tale character would you like to play? Fearnot. A deep cut (though he appears in Jim Henson’s ‘The Storyteller’), about a little boy who cannot be afraid and went forth to learn what fear was.

[cheesey-rice]

Theory on the Soul in Deltarune. (Warning for spoilers on all routes.)

In case you didn't know already, there are two routes in the new Deltarune chapter. I think each one gives us a different perspective on Kris's motivations and their relationship with the soul that inhabits them.

I think the important thing that underpins my take on the game is assuming that the two other lighters who accompany you in the game, Noelle and Susie, are used to voice perspectives that Kris as a silent protagonist might share but be unable to express. This is a common tool used in silent protagonist RPGs, but if you don't agree with it my take might not hold much water for you.

I'll start out by talking about a fairly regular pacifist playthrough of this part. The main scene I'd like to discuss is the one at the end, where it is discussed that opening a dark fountain could bring about the Roaring.

Because it's pretty obvious that we are to think Kris is the "Knight" sneaking off to create these dark fountains with their knife, some people think that they intend to bring about the Roaring. I think their intentions are far less malicious than such a theory assumes.

Because the main thing is that we know that Kris as a character cares about the people in their life. They have a loving relationship with their family and take care of their friends automatically without us prompting them. When Susie consistently alludes to wanting to stay friends with Kris throughout the pacifist rounds, I assume these feelings are reciprocated. I also assume that most of the feelings Susie expresses about the dark world, that it's cool and fun and easier than the real world, are also feelings felt by Kris.

There's also another layer we can see to Kris's feelings about the dark world that comes from their own reactions. We know that Kris is a weird kid in real life, a lonely kid who looks up to their older brother and doesn't have any trophies on their wall like he does. In the dark world, Kris does get trophies on their wall in the room Ralsei makes for them. In the dark world, Kris is a confident, accomplished leader who can make as many friends as they want to thanks to help and guidance from a goat who is very similar to their older brother who they can't contact because of the internet currently.

It isn't really a ground breaking conclusion to say that Kris probably likes the dark world just as much as Susie does, as she talks only of how she wants to go back and have another adventure. Because Kris is the one making the dark fountains, one can see that the worlds are made for them. Made for their adventure with friends in a world makebelieved out of all their childhood toys and imaginings.

We also know that Kris has the ability to walk around, slash tires, eat pies, and make dark fountains without any input from us at all. They don't need us for that and have the ability to take us out whenever they want.

So if the theory that they resent the soul that controls their actions held true, why would we still be in control? Why would they choose to let us do that?

This is where it's important to consider Noelle in the alternate route, whose inner feelings we are often privy to due to Kris's strong understanding of her from childhood.

The alternate route is activated by forcing Noelle to kill people in the dark world. At one point, Noelle asks herself why she's following Kris's commands when they're asking her to do such awful things. The conclusion that she draws is, "but I keep getting stronger... They're just trying to make me stronger."

If this is the reason Noelle obeys Kris, then perhaps in turn we can extrapolate that this is the reason Kris obeys us.

Because we get results.

No matter which ending you get, Kris had an adventure, became stronger, defeated enemies it would have been impossible to go up against without us.

We also see that in scenes where we don't help Kris, where we aren't in control, they often suffer at the hands of these enemies. How Susie hit then against the locker in the first game, howthe King almost strikes them down after they help Susie, how Spamton would have killed them all alone in the basement if their friends hadn't interceded.

Kris wants to be cool and strong and have a fun adventure. For that reason, they are relying on another, external force to make their choices for them. To make choices that will matter.

In the Pacifist run, Kris gets their wish. A fun adventure with their friends where no one has to get hurt. Kris can just sit back and enjoy as a friendly dark power holds their hand through the whole thing.

In the alternate route, however, we see the start of a darker path. One where the dark power with hold over Kris makes malevolent choices that make them question themselves. Is this really the right thing?

We see this hesitation in how other characters react to Kris in this route. After Kris and Noelle kill Bertly, Susie notes that Kris's expression seems to be off some how. That something seems wrong with them, even offering to heal them because of it. Later on, Noelle notes that she sees some other voice coming out of Kris, something scary that she needs to investigate, foreshadowing a continuation of this plot in later chapters.

Kris experiences some amount of turmoil due to the actions of the player. But they still open the dark fountain and put the soul back into themselves later.

How do they justify that to themselves?

Think about Yoshi. If you talk to Garrison's descendent at his grave, they tell you that Kris drops Yoshi into the pit on purpose to complete a level in the video game. In video games Kris is already the kind of player that can distance themselves from necessary sacrifices.

Maybe they justify it to themselves the same way Noelle does at first. It's in the dark world, things are different there, it doesn't matter, it's not real. I'm still getting stronger. Isn't this what I wanted? Who cares if Berdley is dead, he sucked anyway, let's close our eyes and not even look so toby doesn't have to draw the sprite when we hide his body in the wire closet.

Perhaps the resign themselves to it, acclimate to it, become numb to the traumatic event in order to justify carrying on, like Flower or Chara in Undertale might be assumed to on a genocide run.

Because that's what having the soul allows them to do. It allows them to carry on.

On the notion of Noelle carrying on her investigation, it would be interesting to me if the endgame of deltarune turned out to be a fight where all the friends whose levels you raised by killing turn on you and try to either a) save Kris from you, or b) stop a Kris who is too far gone into apathy. That ending would seem sort of karmic to me so I would enjoy seeing it. I think a battle where you play as Kris but try to make them lose to their friends in a pacifist run ending might be interesting too seeing as they are the "knight" and all and are being set up as the big bad.

So basically my actual theorizing boils down to a) on pacifist run you're like Kris's replacement older sibling cajoling them into making friends on a little video game adventure and they're trying so hard to make you stay, or b) you take the alternate route and are just kind of traumatizing Kris into thinking murder is ok if they get to be cool and have fun adventures.

I also have some things to say about how Ralsei takes on Asriel's place of influencing Kris to experience empathy and when you follow those actions Kris is reminded of their big brother who they love and how the alternate route makes Kris cut themselves off from that empathetic power as part of maintaining their own self justifications but I should just make a different post if I'm gonna talk about that.

TLDR; Kris just wants to have a fun adventure like everyone else, I don't think they resent our control but are instead actively seeking it out to make their life easier.

[castielcommunism]

those posts about dean being better as a deuteragonist are so interesting because there's that thing in fiction where the main character is so boring you wish x was the lead instead, like why cant we just have dessert for breakfast feeling, but in this case fulfilled badly in a cursed monkey's paw kinda way. anyways rambling but do you think that it could still work if there writing was better? or is samantha only that fun because carrie's there as a comparison doing main plot things?

Yeah I think “Dean should be a deuteragonist” is sort of a catchall statement for “the writing should be better” with a bunch of nested arguments for what you think “better” actually means. Like in an alternate universe where Sam remained the lead I’m sure you’d get a lot of people saying they wish Dean was the main character instead (alternate universe me might even be saying that!), because the question of who exactly is the main character doesn’t necessarily determine the quality of the show itself. spn is bad for reasons beyond this character imbalance (which I think most people understand when they’re making this argument anyway).

Like PERSONALLY I think the problem with Dean being the protagonist is that all other characters flow from him. What needs to be removed is that, not necessarily Dean being the main character of the show. I consumed spn by binge watching the entire show in the span of a few months, and it felt like an exercise in watching everyone slowly bend to his whim. All external goals are discarded in favour of following Dean. Cas especially suffers from this (“you just gave up your whole army for one guy” well Cas you didn’t need to do that! That’s pretty unreasonable of Dean to ask you to do that!), but Sam also definitely suffers from it in pretty egregious ways. Him wanting to get out of hunting and be independent is always punished, but it’s almost always done through the mechanism of his brother pulling him back in.

And these things aren’t inherently bad, like it’s fine if your protagonist is an obsessive controlling dick to his friends and family, but the show doesn’t seem to be aware that this is what they’re making Dean out to be. And that’s where I want to seriously tone down these traits in Dean’s character, because they’re SO overblown and dramatic and harsh with virtually no resolution or reflection that I cannot take it seriously. Sam and Dean do horrific shit to each other and the show goes damn that shit was crazy. anyway tune in next week where the brothers make up and never discuss this betrayal of trust and autonomy again!

I feel like I need to add a bajillion qualifiers to any post where I say what I just did in the above paragraph, but like canon Dean IS pretty unpleasant pretty frequently. Like I don’t think that’s really debatable. Carver Era and Dabb Era are especially egregious. I think part of the reason people enjoy Kripke Era is because Dean being an asshole was at a reasonable level with much more sympathetic motivations and reasons behind it, and we also got a more balanced perspective from Sam, the guy who has to deal with his brother’s issues while also dealing with his own. They were both abused and neglected as kids and they’re dealing with it in unhealthy ways as young adults and hurting each other in the process, but not to such a degree where it feels like your soul is being ripped out of your body. Like these are two kids on the very cusp of adulthood who are scared and alone and don’t know how to talk about their feelings or work through the trauma they endured, and a lot of the time they’re just trying to get out of bed every day. I feel like the show lost that when they became adults, not because you can’t show adults the same level of sympathy and patience, but because they’re slowly morphing into gritty edgy action heroes. They have to look cool more than they have to look sympathetic, and any gestures towards vulnerability (Dean’s issues with substance abuse being intermittently brought up, Sam’s desire to be “pure” and “clean”, their various interpersonal issues, their loneliness, etc) are used as set dressing much more often than they’re used as like, actual starting points for character development. These guys are serial killers but they also like puppies and feel sad sometimes, so it’s actually very morally complicated! That kinda shit.

And like again, if you want to make your lead guy a huge asshole then go for it, but you need to take that seriously. But the show doesn’t, so I’m not going to take it seriously either! Like I really can’t take #deantransgressions seriously most of the time because Dean being insane or an asshole is used to make the drama of the week/season spicier. If you want to take it as a commentary on familial trauma or cycles of abuse, the conclusion you will likely come to is “it’s inevitable that abused children will become abusive as adults”, which is horrifically shitty and depressing and I reject that completely. I don’t KNOW if the show is even trying to argue that, but again, I don’t think it’s aware of how murky and complicated these topics are, especially if you don’t treat them with an appropriate amount of care and nuance.

Anyway lol this has drifted way off topic but like, I think a lot of the show’s writing problems (at least re: character development) would be “fixed” by decoupling Dean’s perception of reality with reality itself. Like when he’s wrong, let him be wrong! Let there be consequences. And also let that still be a sympathetic position to be in and not this huge massive fuck-up that you need to be brutally punished to atone for or whatever. The show does this with Cas, it does it with Sam, it does it with all kinds of characters. I want Dean to get pushback on his behaviour and be told to snap out of it, and then watch him work through his bullshit and come out the other side a more self aware and well adjusted guy. I want to be his character development cheerleader! Having figures like Bobby who are fundamentally on Dean’s side but also know he can be an asshole sometimes and have no qualms telling him when he’s being one is sorely needed. If all the side characters on spn are meant to be in service to the mains, then at least have them do interesting things like that instead of all becoming epic cool girlboss hunters who join the brothers on hunts once or twice a season.

So anyway to maybe sort of answer your question, I think that balancing out the cast more events between Sam/Cas/Dean would go a long way, but also changing the way “being wrong” is handled on the show. It’s not a huge moral failing or character flaw to be wrong. Pre-supposing the characters’ humanity and operating from the perspective of “I want to help you get better” would massively improve a lot of the character problems on the show imo. Allow Dean to grow, give him the supportive space to do that in, and write the other two leads as fully fleshed out people who have goals and desires that have nothing to do with Dean, and I think you’d get a much more compelling show with much better character drama. Whether Dean remains the main character then becomes a matter of preference more than anything else

[perpetual-stories]

How To Fight Writers Block

hello, hello. hope everyone is doing well. as you can all tell, this post will be about how to fight writers block.

it’s really annoying to me when I hear people say “oh you don’t have writers block, you’re just lazy.”

first of all, yes, I am naturally lazy. second of all, how dare you. writing isn’t as easy as many think. granted, all you have to do is write down words on paper, but it’s not always easy to find the right words to express what you are feeling, or what you wish to say.

I have had terrible writer’s block for the last few days and it’s horrible! as a business owner or a small writing store, I have to be ready to write and fulfill my clients’ ideas and orders.

it’s not easy. It takes a heavy toll on my imagination, and digs me a deep pit of blockage, drowning in the lack of originality because of the constant writing and repetition or certain phrases and sentences in different projects.

i am making this post in the hopes to remind myself about over coming the dreaded and sometimes skeptically believed writer’s block.

What is writer’s block?

Yeah, I know. We all know what that is, but let me define it.

is the state of being unable to proceed with writing, and/or the inability to start writing something new

some people believe it to be a real problem, others believe it's “all in your head”

What Causes Writer’s Block?

in the 1970s, clinical psychologists Jerome Singer and Michael Barrios decided to find out

they concluded that there are four broad causes of writer's block:

Excessively harsh self-criticism

Fear of comparison to other writers

Lack of external motivation, like attention and praise

Lack of internal motivation, like the desire to tell one's story

How to overcome writer's block: 20 tips

1. Develop a writing routine:

Author and artist Twyla Tharp once wrote: “Creativity is a habit, and the best creativity is a result of good work habits.”

it might seem counterintuitive

if you only write when you “feel creative,” you're bound to get stuck in a tar pit of writer's block

The only way to push through is by disciplining yourself to write on a regular schedule. It might be every day, every other day, or just on weekends — but whatever it is, stick to it!

2. Use "imperfect" words:

A writer can spend hours looking for the perfect word or phrase to illustrate a concept

You can avoid this fruitless endeavor by putting, “In other words…” and simply writing what you’re thinking, whether it’s eloquent or not

You can then come back and refine it later by doing a CTRL+F search for “in other words.”

3. Do non-writing activities:

one of the best ways to climb out of a writing funk is to take yourself out of your own work and into someone else’s

Go to an exhibition, to the cinema, to a play, a gig, eat a delicious meal

immerse yourself in great STUFF and get your synapses crackling in a different way

Snippets of conversations, sounds, colors, sensations will creep into the space that once felt empty

4. Freewrite through it:

free-writing involves writing for a pre-set amount of time without pause — and without regard for grammar, spelling, or topic. You just write.

The goal of freewriting is to write without second-guessing yourself — free from doubt, apathy, or self-consciousness, all of which contribute to writer's block. Here’s how:

Find the right surroundings. Go somewhere you won't be disturbed.

Pick your writing utensils. Will you type at your computer, or write with pen and paper? (Tip: if you're prone to hitting the backspace button, you should freewrite the old-fashioned way!)

Settle on a time-limit. Your first time around, set your timer for just 10 minutes to get the feel for it. You can gradually increase this interval as you grow more comfortable with freewriting.

5. Relax on your first draft:

Many writers suffer form perfectionism, which is especially debilitating during a first draft

“Blocks often occur because writers put a lot of pressure on themselves to sound ‘right’ the first time. A good way to loosen up and have fun again in a draft is to give yourself permission to write imperfectly.” — editor Lauren Hughes

perfect is the enemy of good,” so don't agonize about getting it exactly right! You can always go back and edit, maybe even get a second pair of eyes on the manuscript

6. Don’t start at the beginning:

the most intimidating part of writing is the start, when you have a whole empty book to fill with coherent words

instead of starting with the chronological beginning of whatever it is you’re trying to write, dive into middle, or wherever you feel confident

7. Take a shower:

Have you ever noticed that the best ideas tend to arrive while in the shower, or while doing other “mindless” tasks?

research shows that when you’re doing something monotonous (such as showering, walking, or cleaning), your brain goes on autopilot, leaving your unconscious free to wander without logic-driven restrictions

showering is my favourite thing to do if I may add

8. Balance your inner critic:

successful writers have in common is the ability to hear their inner critic, respectfully acknowledge its points, and move forward

You don't need to completely ignore that critical voice, nor should you cower before it

you must establish a respectful, balanced relationship, so you can address what's necessary and skip over what's insecure and irrelevant

9. Switch up your tool:

a change of scenery can really help with writer's block. However, that scenery doesn't have to be your physical location — changing up your writing tool can be just as big a help!

if you’ve been typing on your word processor of choice, try switching to pen and paper. Or if you're just sick of Google Docs, consider using specialized novel writing software.

10. Change your POV:

great advice from editor Lauren Hughes: “When blocked, try to see your story from another perspective ‘in the room’ to help yourself move beyond the block. How might a minor character narrate the scene if they were witnessing it? A ‘fly on the wall’ or another inanimate object?

11. Exercise your creative muscles:

Any skill requires practice if you want to improve, and writing is no different! So if you’re feeling stuck, perhaps it’s time for a strengthening scribble-session to bolster your abilities

12. Map out your story:

If your story has stopped chugging along, help it pick up steam by taking a more structured approach — specifically, by writing an outline

13. Write something else:

Though it's important to try and push through writer's block with what you're actually working on, sometimes it's simply impossible

feel free to push your current piece to the side for now and write something new

14. Work on your characters:

It follows that if your characters are not clearly defined, you’re more likely to run into writer’s block

15. Stop writing for readers:

write for yourself, not your potential readers

this will help you reclaim the joy of being creative and get you back in touch with what matters: the story.

this is something I really need to do. because of my etsy business i don't write for fun anymore, but instead as a business and a deadline. i'm going to have to pull out my old crappy wattled fanfics or write some new ones.

16. Try a more visual process:

when words fail you, forget them and get visual. Create mind maps, drawings, Lego structures — ideally related to your story, but whatever unblocks your mind!

17. Look for the root of it:

writer’s block often comes from a problem deeper than simple “lack of inspiration.” So let's dig deep: why are you really blocked? Ask yourself the following questions:

Do I feel pressure to succeed and/or competition with other writers?

Have I lost sight of what my story is about, or interest in where it's going?

Do I lack confidence in my own abilities, even if I've written plenty before?

Have I not written for so long that I feel intimidated by the mere act?

Am I simply feeling tired and run-down?

once you identify what's wrong, it'll be so much easier to fix.

18. Quit the Internet:

If willpower isn’t your strong suit and your biggest challenge is staying focused, try a site blocker like Freedom or an app like Cold Turkey

19. Let the words find you:

meditate, go for a walk, take that shower

Word Palette is a great app that features a keyboard of random words, allowing you to simply click your way to your next masterpiece.

You can also try AI auto-completers like Talk to Transformer, where you can enter a phrase and let the app “guess what comes next.”

even though they often produce nonsense, it's a great way to help that writer's block.

20. Write like Hemingway:

And if your biggest block is your own self-doubt about your prose, Hemingway offers suggestions to improve your writing as you go

it's a pretty cool app if you ask me.

it highlights your sentences (if need be) and makes suggestions on how to improve them!

well, there you have it! a lengthy post on how to fight writer's block. now i just hope i can combat my own soon.

like, comment and reblog if you find this useful! feel free to reblog in instagram and tag me perpetualstories

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[reflectionsofneptune]

little things I associate with the Mercury signs.

Little dreamy, abstract things I associate with the Mercury signs in Astrology.

Aries Mercury

Authoritative. When I want something, I make it clear. Crystal clear. No beating around the bush. A forceful way of speaking. Don’t talk about it, be about it. Short sentences. A hint of arrogance. Competitive edge seeping through my words. What can I say, I like to be a winner? At all times. A raspy voice. Adopting a youthful charm when it suits me. Attuned to perceiving danger in my environment. Disliking an over-emphasis of niceties in conversation. Keeping it real. Exercising to clear the mind. Pep - talks. The rev of an engine. Pedal to the metal. Talking to me, I need you to bring your A Game and something new. Conversation needs to be stimulating. 

Taurus Mercury

Savouring. Words need to be savoured. Like beauty, they only get better with age. Listen carefully and hear what I stand for. Slowing down. Something about the handwriting. Cursive. An even tone. Words flow out of my mouth like maple syrup oozes down the height of a stack of fluffy, warm pancakes. Stubbornness. When am I ever wrong? Pictures, or it’s not real. Proof being recognised from what my base senses pick up. Inspiration from nature. A level-head. Choosing to see the beauty in my environment. For better or for worse. Don’t be fooled by my lack of conversation, I peep everything. 

Gemini Mercury

Riddles. I’m not going to tell you the answer but the curve of my lip might reveal itself when you’re getting close. Starting one conversation with one subject. Finishing the conversation with a completely different one. Playfulness. Humour as a tool of deflection. Quick texts. Leading conversations. Making a best friend in the supermarket. Another one, on the bus.  Seeing the duality of things in my environment. Information is like crack. I can’t get enough. Multiple tabs, open. Nervous energy. Fiddling. Mimicking your mannerisms if I like you, verbally ripping you apart if it tickles my fancy. Or not, I get distracted quite easily so you may be let off the hook.

Cancer Mercury

Introspective. Thinking about the past. Sometimes not finding my way back to the present. Emotions filtering through my words. Perceptions are protective. A vintage film, the introduction devoid of colour. An interest in knowing where one comes from, what comforts someone. Needing to cleanse myself of everybody’s emotional baggage. Again. Pathetic fallacy. Finishing your sentences. Promise its not on purpose. Wanting security from my environment. A psychological slant to conversations. A rich inner imagination. A diary, signed, sealed and under my pillow. Withdrawing into the cocoon of my thoughts when I feel threatened. 

Leo Mercury 

Commanding. A leadership position sounds good to me. Confidence in my thoughts. Words that can brighten up your life. Disney movies. Teasing conversations. Class clown. My thoughts are copyrighted. Bluffing. The curve a chest, puffed out to its maximum, makes. Talking loudly so I’m sure you hear me. Describing something in such detail, so you can feel as if you were there. Piping hot tea. Intellect and ego tied together.  Creativity expressed through speech. Seeing my immediate environment as a stage. Conversations in the mirror. The little grooves formed at the corner of the eyes when the smile is genuine. Blowing my own trumpet because if I don’t, who will?

Virgo Mercury

Organised. Seeing flaws in my environment. A to-do list, covered on both sides. Polite but not foolish. The spine of a book, crease free. Stepping back in conversation. The few creases that appear on the skin when a nose is wrinkled. Monotone. Advice given freely. Or withdrawing all help if I see it going through one ear and out the other. Discernment in conversation. Sticky notes. Attuned to see the bullshit in conversation. In life. Helpful suggestions. Take it or leave it. Mind feels like a hamster wheel. How do you turn this thing off?  An upward line of a tick, in red. Not an excuse, but know that the harder I am on you, the harder I am on myself really. 

Libra Mercury

Flirting. Feels as natural as breathing does. A sweet talker. The stem of cherry. A gentle lilt that comes alive in conversation. A fickle mind. Forever weighing up the pro’s and cons. Birdsong, cutting through morning dew. Wanting peace from my environment. Trying to maintain peace in my environment. A white flag fluttering in the wind, atop a hill. Indecision feels paralysing. Waiting for you to finish speaking before I provide an opposing point of view. Feigning innocence. Learning about myself through conversations with others. Sometimes not liking what I see. 3 sides to a story. I am capable of a decision, I just feel better when the internal scales of my thoughts are balanced. 

Scorpio Mercury

Power. Power plays in conversation. Checkmate. Words are comparable to pieces on a chessboard. Not a fan of small talk. Unless it’s for my benefit. Intuition on point. And then some. Probing. Trust issues. Talking to someone for a minute but deducing years of their life from a single meeting. Burner phones in a drawer. The eerie silence that comes around, say 4 AM. Secrets, mine and yours, help me fall asleep at night. Receipts for weeks, days and months. I’ve got it all. Past hurts cut deep in my psyche. Eyebrows pulled together. Pretending to be deaf when convenient. Subject changes. A full stop. Knowledge is power. I am capable of sharing intimate details of myself…..you first though. 

Sagittarius Mercury

YOLO. Sending those kinda texts to the wrong group chat by mistake. Saying what we were all thinking, even if it’s not the ‘right’ time, ‘cos fuck it. Slidin’ in the DM’s. Popping up like it’s nothing. You know me. Is time even real? The underside of a desk, covered with tags, love notes, and condom wrappers. Going off on social media. For a good cause, most of the time. Falling back on spirituality when life gets tough. Thought patterns are expansive and influenced by cultures and theories different than mine. Appreciating the differences in life. In people. Gift of the gab. That person who’s laughing when no one else is. Believing in abundance because that's what my environment reflects back to me. Stretching the fine line between truth and fantasy…….’cos fuck it.

Capricorn Mercury

Blue ticks. Time is of the essence. Thoughts are disciplined. A 3 tier desk organiser, stuffed to the brim with documents. Elocution lessons. Did you know I used to stutter? Deadpan jokes. A raised eyebrow. Judging people. We all do it, it’s innate to us. Keep your friends close. Enemies closer. Voicemail. I don’t need people to like me, but respect me is all I ask. A calculating mind. Always planning ahead. Sudoku puzzles. People give themselves away all the time, you just need to listen. Believing people’s actions over words. Thoughts focused on external recognition became a burden I often didn’t ask for, weighs me down.

Aquarius Mercury

Observant. Seeing the subtle layers that make up human behaviour. People are fascinating. A 360 way of looking at things. Reverb on an electric guitar. Solution-focused. A finger on the pulse of undiscovered knowledge. Static from a radio dial. I’m not afraid to question everything. An outdated statue, tipped. A love and hate relationship with time. Flashes of intuition. Needing time to process thoughts. A cool perspective. Shades of sunglasses, tinted yellow. Including people I’ve never met in my thoughts. In my dreams. My wishes. A Brave New World? I’m still waiting for people to step up and take responsibility.

Pisces Mercury

The red and white swirls of a helter-skelter ride. The path connecting my thoughts and my words is a little beaten. But not many people have bothered to venture this way. Pillow talk during the day. Drifting off in conversation. Overspilling in conversations. Or people, overspilling details of their life onto me. Missing appointments. Two circles merging into one if you stare long enough. Tapped into Source. Weaving you a dream with my words so good, I start to believe it. The afterword in a novel. Doodles in a margin. Sensitivity in conversation. Picking up a million and one signals from my environment. Using music to lose myself and ironically, find myself in the end.

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| little thoughts about venus placements

| little thoughts about the mars placements

| little thoughts about the saturn placements