#(either physically and/or sexually)
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people will be like “omg body positivity <3 you’re beautiful you would be loved you just the way you are <3” and then criticize individuals who shave their vaginas
#rambles.#i don’t personally shave like that#and like i don’t sexually desire vagina so i don’t exactly have a preference for what other people do#but i feel like some shit i see regarding this goes a little too far#even if some of it is just joking#okay sure you like bush awesome great#but have you considered that making people feel like shit about what they do/how they look is perhaps not the best way to go about it?#i mean you’re kinda going full 360 here. shaming people over shit just like men supporting the bald pussy agenda and whatnot#like yeah okay body hair is natural and shaving isn’t. we shouldn’t feel pressured#but i don’t think anyone should be shamed either way#because you know what also isn’t technically natural? tattoos and piercings and all the other shit we decide to do to our bodies#anyways yeah#reactively going in the opposite direction of something but using similar methods isn’t really making the right progress imo#you’re just going in a circle#this applies to SO many things btw#let’s just be nice. and also evaluate how closely we hold onto things like preferences for physical characteristics#which are not what it’s all about at the end of the day. don’t even get me started#thanks for coming to my talk
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Angela Carter, The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories; from ‘The Company of Wolves’
#this is so cool#people are so weird about virginity#you have either purity culture religious patriarchal weirdos#or you've got a subset of the “sex positive” crowd who think any virgin over 17 is a freak#never mind sex positivity includes people choosing to abstain from sex for any reason#physical emotional psychological etc#simply not feeling ready#or maybe questioning their sexuality or their gender or both and needing space to think#but the idea that a virgin is a closed magic system is so so beautiful#because it's positive about those who have sex and those who have not#the implication is that when you have sex your magic is shared and you become a circuit with another person (or other people) which is neat#but before that you are entirely a system of magic in your own body#a much cooler idea than if you have sex before marriage you are going to hell#or if you have not had sex you are a loser#anyway#i love virginity and keeping it and shedding it#it's a fun concept to me!!! so rich in literary tradition#but often that tradition is sexist#so women framing virginity in a unique way is delicious#smacking my lips#angela carter#the company of wolves
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I read Possession by AS Byatt after people told me "if you liked Gaudy Night you'll like this" and WELL.
Warning- spoilers for both books abound below!
So it sounded great- as a lapsed academic (though not in the field of literature by any means) there's a part of me that loves reading about academia because it's full of such obsessive people, and this book seemed to be exactly that and so I was excited.
Then I read it, and on the one hand, my first thought was "all these people are dull as heck, the only sane modern-day one is Val, and at the end of the day the historical stuff is just two people having an affair, who cares." My second thought was "there's just enough stuff here that makes me think that maybe the author knows that all of this is stupid, like the fact that Val is obviously one of the few sane ones here." But the ending made me doubt even that. Essentially, and I say this even as that lapsed academic, the author could not convince me to care about the important things at stake here, and as a result couldn't get me to care about the people who only seemed to care about those things.
I didn't care about Ash and LaMotte- they came across as two people high on their own supply who had a tawdry affair. (And each of them is the less interesting person, as a person, than their official partner!) As a result of not caring about them, I couldn't POSSIBLY care about Roland, Maud, and the rest of their crew, because their only functions were to be possessed by, and weirdly possessive of, these two entirely unworthy individuals, whose in-universe historical and literary significance Byatt couldn't convince me of, and to use that possession as a mirror for their own very lame romance. Beyond that they're utterly uninteresting, and there isn't even meant to BE much beyond that so it's not that surprising.
Anyway, I didn't like this book much, but it still made me think a lot. And there's a way in which a certain kind of person might say "well if it made you think then that's surely a sign of some positive quality" and... maybe? I don't know. I didn't hate all of it, and some parts were interesting, and I do have a whole separate list of things about the book that bug me including a breakdown of some of the book's (perceived by me) themes that I particularly disliked lol. Perhaps I'll post it another time. So I guess you can say it spurred me to thought, but loads of things that I don't like do that, and the only positive thing that that draws from me is that they're not downright dull.
The thing is, after finishing the book I was immediately struck by that "if you like Gaudy Night..." element, because it has a situation that felt weirdly similar (if for totally different reasons)- a young scholar stealing a letter from a library/archive. The circumstances are different- in Gaudy Night, the scholar does it to hide its existence so as not to contradict his thesis, and in Possession, the scholar does it so as to explore the document further, though still secretly- but there are still some interesting parallels vis a vis class. Possession goes into the class thing more than Gaudy Night does, but neither book goes much into it- the scholar is lower-class and someone who has scraped their way to their position, and is encumbered by a female partner of lower social and academic standing, and in the end they are juxtaposed against scholars who come from an elevated class and who have more money and opportunity. In Gaudy Night, Arthur Robinson is judged by the likes of Lord Peter Wimsey and a college full of women who don't have to do anything but think, teach, write, and grade papers; in Possession, Roland has to convince a bunch of academics of standing and resources to take a chance on him (and while this is more about money than class, he's the main one who's like "maybe it's good if Lady Bailey gets her wheelchair"). Byatt elides over this at the end by having him magically become in demand and on his way to achieving his academic goals, but I think in both books, the class element really could have taken on more significance in the text.
(I'd add as well that Byatt pits the upper-class and moneyed Maud, who of course is doing things for "the right reasons," vs the evil American businessman who clearly... doesn't care about Ash enough? Despite how much he clearly and obviously cares about Ash? The book was way more interesting when he seemed like a valid rival to the British team, who only thought that they deserved the letters more because of their obsession, rather than how it turned out at the end where the American dude is an actual cartoon villain. What made him genuinely less worthy besides having money without class, and of course having the bad taste to be American? What makes one scholar's possession more justified? Sayers was never this unsubtle.)
So that made me think more about Possession vs Gaudy Night, and the thing is, there are actual living people in Gaudy Night! Say what you will about the unworldliness of the academics at Shrewsbury, but you get a very keen view of their personalities by the end, even as they are (by necessity given the rules of their world) subsumed by academia, or subsume themselves in it. And the people who do fall in love are REALLY in love, and you understand why...
And somehow a book from 1935 feels far more interrogative of the possession (or lack thereof) found in love and romance, and just about the place of women in academia and relationships overall, than one from the late 80s. In Gaudy Night, Harriet accepts Peter once she has determined that despite their power differential (brought on by class, money, history, and to a degree gender) he will not threaten her personhood, because he has proven himself to her. In Possession, Maud accepts Roland because she has the power (money, class, position, even height) and so Roland actually cannot threaten her- and yet still that final scene is about her being taken by him, basically to prove some kind of a point. In contrast, in Busman's Honeymoon, the euphemistic sex scenes are about Peter trying to please Harriet.
When I say it's to prove a point, I'm paraphrasing Byatt, incidentally- who said: "And in the case of Maud I had made it very inhibiting. She was a woman inhibited both by beauty (which actually isn't very good for very beautiful women because they feel it isn't really them people love) and she was also inhibited by Feminism, because she had all sorts of theories that perhaps she would be a more noble kind of woman if she was a lesbian. And so she was a bit stuck. And Roland was timid because I am naturally good at timid men. It's the kind of men I happen to like. He's a timid thinking man, so of course it took him the whole book." I mean... yikes, but also that explains a lot. Maud can only bring herself to be with a man who is weak/effeminate (?) enough to justify whatever weird psyche Byatt has imagined up for her, but still she needs to get over her inhibitions and under him because... reasons. I don't know.
(Height is also interesting here as a point of contrast- Byatt makes Maud taller than Roland to make a point about how on the one hand she retains the power but on the other hand there is now even more of her that has to surrender. Peter and Harriet are the same medium height and wear the same size gown.)
I think the thing that most stuns me is how regressive Possession feels when it comes to gender politics on relationships than Gaudy Night does. I'd need a whole other post to talk about this, but the theme of Possession seems to me to be "relationships that produce things (whether art or children) are worth more than ones that don't." Roland is better with Maud than with Val because Val is a second rate scholar who drags him down (while supporting him financially) and Ash is better with LaMotte than with Ellen because LaMotte didn't only inspire his writing (Ellen's contributions are described only in the negative "didn't impede"), she gave him the child that Ellen refused to. Incidentally, in both cases it's the man pursuing a relationship that will give HIM something... But, to paraphrase Peter in Busman's Honeymoon, one wouldn't want to regard relationships in that agricultural light. Gaudy Night is about how two people can produce great things without each other but choose to be with each other for their own, and each other's, happiness. They aren't each less apart, and as I noted in a prior post, they don't need to solve cases together or conjoin their work in order for their relationship to be worth something. It is worth it for them to be together because it encourages some kind of inner balance within them and between them, as people. They enjoy collaborating but that is by no means the basis of their love (and, incidentally, I think that a lot of, if not most, detective series romances fail this basic test of "would they have fallen in love if they were accountants who met on a dating app." Peter and Harriet definitely would have- would, say, Albert Campion and Amanda Fitton have? I do NOT think so).
And here's the thing- another reason why Byatt's quote above is so off-putting is that it makes it clear that not only in the text but on a meta level, the purpose of the relationships is to prove a Point. I found Roland and Maud to have zero chemistry, and honestly I was expecting them to get together 3/4 of the way through and split up at the end when it turned out they had nothing in common- it seemed like that kind of book. I was kind of stunned when they only got together at the end in an "it's meant to be" way because nothing about it seemed meant to be. They were stuck together by that one thing and they each apparently needed the relationship for some kind of self-actualization or historical rhyming or other. (Whatever I say about Ash and LaMotte... at least they seemed to like each other!)
Peter and Harriet... they get together because they love each other. Do they change over the course of Gaudy Night, and over the course of the other books they share together? Of course they do. But if it makes sense, I'll put it this way- Harriet doesn't accept Peter's proposal as proof that she got over her hangups, Harriet gets over her hangups so that she can accept Peter's proposal. Her hangups only matter because they were keeping her from this particular kind of happiness- she was a fully actualized person even with them. She is a person who does things for human reasons so that she can build a mutually happy life with the person she loves, not a little plot mannequin being moved around in order to tell the author's desired Message. People can say what they want about Gaudy Night and its flaws, but despite the intricacies of its construction, nobody can call the characters' actions and motivations anything but brutally human.
Whether within their universes or on a meta level, the books have SUCH different things to say about the value and nature of love, the place of and purpose of sex, the place of art and intellectual accomplishment in relationships, all of the above in the context of femininity… and I can't help but feel that each time, Gaudy Night wins the contest. It's possible I'm missing something major about Possession, and maybe sometime I'll post the rest of my notes about the things I disliked and people can tell me what I'm wrong about- but if nothing else it made me appreciate Gaudy Night even more, so for that I'm grateful.
#possession#as byatt#gaudy night#dorothy l sayers#lord peter wimsey#harriet vane#i'm not tagging all the characters from possession bc i don't actually really remember their full names and i'm too lazy to look them up#I also saw recs for possession for “if you like jonathan strange and mr norrell” and “if you like jfsp s9”#for jonathan strange and mr norrell i actually have several Thoughts#and am happy to share if asked#but i'm perplexed by the jfsp comparison#though a reading of ellen ash as asexual vs uncle newt would be...interesting#i guess it's based on romances contrasted through time?#also- i've seen people claim that possession is satire#to which i say#BS!!!!#the way that book is written either literally every word of it is satire and none of it is meant to be taken seriously#or it's serious as gospel#the only bits where some parts felt like they might be meant to be “satirical” in relation to other parts#came across more as caricature than anything else#cough cough lesbian feminist american professor... i mean jeez#which reminds me#any future writing i do about why i disliked possession#will have to include my take on that thing some women writers do where they're really WEIRD about how they write women#(sexually but in a way that they THINK is clinical to the point of objectivity)#while barely even describing what the men look like#and not having the women be physically attracted to them#another contrast point with sayers actually#who is perfectly prepared to have harriet be physically attracted to peter
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MRA shit exists for the same reason that feminism exists. The heterosexual couple are not happy with their arrangement yet enforce it on others as some kind of sacred truth. They are masochists who want to see their pain projected at every corner. It may seem that feminism is the more "righteous" one but the truth is neither movement serves the sovereign individual and given that the prerequisite of believing in MRA/feminism is believing in the existence of "males" - whether its males needing release from "toxic expectations", or females needing release from males who are "oppressing" them, these movements cannot be valuable to those who believe there is only ONE sex - females and mutated females. Every part of male biology is a mutated part of female biology. There is nothing offensive in stating this, this is the best-kept occult secret in history and it needs to be stated. In both the MRA scenario and the feminist scenario, the pain is self-afflicted and continues via the original sin/sexual reproduction. Females choose to depend on males and birth them and males choose to wear their mask of constant toughness and live a lie. Both parties could choose to be free but both love pain because they are as soulless as could be and recruit their children into their soul-crushing world order, hence why the cycle never breaks. Everybody loves pain and no one cares to know or do any better.
#currently in India and thinking about this#the physical distance between rich and poor is tiny#the rich dont truly value knowledge either they just learned to capitalize on select bits of it to pursue a rigid occupation#the rich and poor both lead double lives#especially when it comes to sexuality#and they use their children as an investment#so much for childfree people being selfish lol
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also riawin timeloop ("canon compliant" (still focusing on character so not canon compliant in that way)) ft. the attempts to make things work but that only goes Winston? more like Win State over giving up on that b/c he's in a situation where no matter what he does the other person chooses to see him as a nonperson (so canon compliant it's barely an au. the role sure exited the iterative loop upon giving up on all that (not possible to Win (the final Lose is others killing him))
#iterative process of [background market events(tm)] + [abuse] like that is the framework in which winston is contained yes#(remembers i already had this idea) (remembers this is like. barely a change from any ideas along the lines of how yeah riawin could#happen in a form & just be [abusive friend sometimes wants to have More Intimacy from abused friend (emotional; physical; sexual; &c)])#timeloops as device to contain Efforts navigating xyz emotional process like sure it could be escape room for a preexisting dynamic#just that the ''right'' way to interact w/someone isn't a relationship development involving any increased closeness lol#the fun part that is pursuing like Relationship Growth & getting seeming ''successes'' now & then but ofc not actually#not Lastingly either. next day being a potential seeming reset whether you're in a loop or no#as per the [would barely change anything from irl] as per the idea of What If Your Day Repeated only being so different if like#the idea is that during that day you did some Big Shift by the end so that the tomorrow would be so [wow; post That]#also just for emphasis like wouldn't even be like loop ends with riawin Breakup. wouldn't necessarily start w/them ''together''#''canon compliant'' had them being a coworker duo & ''friends'' or having just out of frame interactions all the time(?) anyway so like#the breakup / opposite of Successful Getting Together / Relationship Growth getting to be entirely personal#given that the personal sure isn't going to be genuinely interacted with by the person who sees the other as Other / object / nonperson#can't believe the ''person'' i totally liked & was friends with stopped talking to me & w/o explanation (that i would accept) evil wtf#people just don't want to date & get/stay married & have kids & defer to their abusive relatives these days. We used to be a Society :(#they don't even want to go the extra mile & be a team player & no overtime pay & professionalism(tm) & in charge of my ego &
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somebody shoot me with a gun until I am dead before I write the first chapter of that pirate thing for like. Genuinely the eighth or ninth time.
#i have versions i like the vibes of#i have versions i like the pacing of#i have versions i like the writing of#i have not a single one that manages to hit even 2 out of those 3 criteria#Like. I think part of the issue is the setting is dreamy its soft and floaty and things arnt Right#but the first thing that happens is a guy loudly boasting about how much hes going to enjoy sexually assaulting his deuteragonist#hes lying. but Toi'uhla doesn't know that. The people ze is choosing to sacrifice zerself for dont know that.#the child whos experiencing the fear of death for the first time doesn't know hes bluffing either.#and the entire time theyre on a boat thats floating in empty nothing in a universe that has no stars left.#So much of making a tangible Threat like that hit is slowing for a moment and describing the ugly details of like#existing. as a physical person in a physical world. This horrible thing is happening and while it does the wind is messing up your hair#That sort of thing.#But there is no wind. there is no water. or rain. Toi'uhla's sense of smell is almost non existent. so ze cant think about the body oder#of that many people in that close of quarters.#And all while this is happening. i have to set up that these are two alien species with distinct cultures and Very different perspectives#on what is happening. Lordakai Senior is the one who lead the raid that killed Toi'uhla's sire and zer siblings.#But ze only knows the name Lordakai. bc for Zer it is completely reasonable to assume that the two Lordakai's are the same guy#Koita are long lived. Toi'uhla has never had reason to learn how to tell how old they are#Lordakai jr is absolutely riding on his dads name. but he doesn't know his dad was a privateer#So like. Theres a lot of shit happening in a weird setting#With two characters that need to Mesh while both putting up complete fronts.#and it needs to set up the stakes and themes for the rest of the damn story.#qnd its just a lot man. I love this project. i love these characters. but there's so many moving pieces bc theres had to be to make enough#Stuff to fill out the long spaces where they're just. on a pirate ship. being bored.#im probably over thinking this#blehgh
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how to stop thinking any good thing someone says to you (like compliments or being proud of you or other positive expressions such as these) is a lie just to be polite or bc they're biased and thus can't judge you work and your being objectively bc they love you. asking for a friend
#lovebombing won't work on me i will automatically assume there is an ulterior motive there#i may be off on what it is. but i won't trust it either anyway#(joking btw ik i'm not immune to abuse tactics. that's actually part of why i'm vigilant to all that i think)#(but not only)#i think my main issue is i know in my heart these things can't be right. the bigger the compliment the less i believe it#bc i'm below average and so is anything i create. propping it (and me) up as smth unique feels disingenuous#in my heart i do want this like i wanna be told nice things but they usually make me feel worse lol#bc i still think i'm shit and now i feel like i can't trust that person either.#(still. if someone is mean to me or even just harsh instead. i will cry)#also while this is already very deep and digging into my core the next tags are gonna dig into therapy level deepness lol#i think this is actually why i only want ppl to be sexually attracted to me honestly#smth abt it being like. a physical reaction. makes it easier to believe for me#also smth you can express smth you can do to prove it beyond just saying words#(i will sometimes still doubt it when i have a steady partner of any sort lol like i'll ask if they just indulge me or actually want it)#which is why it's fucking me up sm that i'm getting uglier 🥲 i'm already not great - being trans and fat limits a lot of your options - but#things are getting even worse lol 🥲 who knew that was even possible#all this isn't really a very good base to stop hating yourself. so my self loathing is only getting worse every day#thus making any good word harder to believe. and the cycle continues#. yknow when i started typing this post i did not expect to go on for this long#i am on these sleeping pills that make me lose my filter i'm sorry 😔#vent
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Is this allowed? Maybe, but either way, prebby angel boy
#oc#original character#oc art#digital art#I'm not sure if this quite constitutes “sexual themes”#but I definitely don't want to leave it unmarked either#who am I kidding#it totally does#this is Blitz#his wrist halos are supposed to be clipping through his legs#that is on purpose#because they're not really physical
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perhaps im just a little fucked up from the fact that people consistently assume that bc i like traditionally feminine clothing, i must be a gentle and delicate person
and like, a lot of my old hobbies (ballet, flute, drawing, vintage collecting, theater) are very traditionally feminine
but my gender Is Not Feminine and my personality sure as fuck isnt. ive had so many bad reactions over the years to the fact that i love science, love debate, struggle with empathy, and tend to seek leadership positions. like despite what ppl on tumblr seem to think misogyny is alive and well! plenty of men do, in fact, feel threatened when someone wears makeup and feminine clothing but wants to work in STEM and will argue with them.
#☢️.txt#when i was in info sys i got sexually harassed a lot bc i wore mini skirts and high heels but wasnt 'nice' to the men in class#aka when i got assigned as a group leader i actually expected them to pull their fucking weight and didnt play games#they thought since i wore pink i should act like their mother and not. the leader of a coding project#also i abandoned a lot of my hobbies bc either i couldnt conform to femininity enough for them (ballet) or bc#people used them to undermine my desire to pursue a career in physics
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Thinking abt how my ex would make fun of their other trans guy exes’ appearances and things they were sensitive abt and how they would do the same to me while we were together and probably still do say transphobic things abt me but it doesn’t count bc they’re nonbinary. And how they didn’t talk about their cis guy exes the same way and in fact only told positive/sexual stories abt them in ways that made me feel inferior. And how whoever they’re manipulating these days who only knows of my existence thru the stories they tell (bc lord knows they couldn’t stop telling the same few stories abt the aforementioned exes) is probably like “yeah fuck that guy” bc trans men are only real men when it makes us the bad guy
#anyway. saw a trans guy on my dash with a physical trait that my ex relentlessly made fun of their other trans ex for#and was like this dudes hot as fuck actually trans men are hot and u shouldn’t bully us even if u don’t think so#also don’t date people you think are ugly!!! just a thought#also thinking abt how their sexuality was basically ‘men and butches’ which is all well and good#except they wanted me to either be a cis guy or a butch sooo bad#mine#txt#personal
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how physically intimate do us!dabi and keigo get? the press is dying to know 🎤
they are stupidly intimate.
Whether you’re out and about with only one or both of them, you always want to feel tethered to their touch and in turn they want to be anchored to you. Holding hands, hooking your lil pinkies together, leaning on one another, you’re all always in each other’s space. And behind closed doors is no different.
Touya and Keigo like to do all the actions that lead up to sex. It’s hardly ever sprung on out of nowhere. Touches to the small of your back, they like to play with the straps of your dresses/bra and pull them down your shoulder, little pecks that turn to deep kisses, massaging you until you relax, it’s always been better to ease you into it and plus the build up is the best parts to it. To see you get all whiny and sweet with glossy doe eyes and just drunk on the gross amount of affection that you’re always showered in. It’s so ingrained in you at this point that you’ll notice if they don’t touch you. It’s become an insufferable need that makes you whine for them. Which is why if they decide to be mean and bully you, they know to not touch you and make you beg. Keigo is great at teasing and Touya loves to be mean so combined forces together are a guarantee to bring you to tears. But they make promises to fulfill that make it all worth it.
Just hold out baby, okay? Just keep looking pretty and trust us.
It can be frustrating but they’re always right that the reward is worth it. To go through a little bit of pain to reach that peak of pleasure, to keep you suspended in heaven as long as they can, it all circles back to the small little gestures of affection. They pet your head and rub your back, playfully pressing into bruises they gave you and kiss your little whines to silence you. you’re all so grossly in love with one another, it’s sickening.
#if the actual question you meant was ‘how often do they have sex’ i’d say it’s at most once a week for the boys lmao#maybe twice depending but getting to fuck once a week is enough#and if you’re in the mood for more then great!#it doesn’t even have to be penetrative sex every single time for them#lord knows you can only take so much dick from two sexually aggressive guys#lmao sorry nonny at first i thought you were talking about non-sexual physical intimacy but then i reread the question#but either way you meant your question i hope i answered it (´ ∀ ` *)#us series#k.inbox
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Me, browsing Wattpad for Content™ (yes I know but it is a dry, dry desert out there and it's the only place with frequent posting for the fandom, shut up): Hm, a ship list? What the fucking hell; I'm already waist deep in garbage just by being here. What harm could it do? I'm desperate at this point.
The List: *Cyan x Rose is right at the fucking top*
Me: ... ah, perhaps I am misunderstanding? Perhaps they like it in a platonic sense, or like the familial relationship it very much actually is. *clicks on the chapter*
The Chapter: *proceeds with a short paragraph about why they like this ship, insisting that there was plenty of "crumbs" for it in canon that it HAD to be deliberate, basically this is very much NOT seen as platonic or familial AT ALL by this point*
Me: a h. My day is ruined now, thank you.
#Kaitou Joker#Mun Post#tw incest#incest tw#cw incest#incest cw#((the fic author wasn't lying; I really didn't like that ship#didn't even stick around to see the rest of them; don't really need to with such shit takes omfg#then again this same author posted some kind of challenge thing where they right off the bat said that#they found several of the heavily minor-coded leads to be sexy; so like. full of Awesome Takes; this one; clearly#for those not in the know; the characters Cyan and Rose are twin brother and sister; respectively#Cyan behaves very affectionately towards his sister; true; but he hasn't seen her around in a very long time#even worse; for reasons I will not get into due to spoilers; Rose very likely has the mind of a young child#sure you can't much tell the difference between her and the other characters of similar physical age; but she's also not on screen very much#and also the other cast members can be said to be very childish; her older brother included#he's responsible for taking care of her; mostly; most of his actions in his first arc are motivated by her well being in fact#to imply that there's anything romantic/sexual about the nature of their relationship at all is fucking creepy. this is a kids' show dude#don't be fucking nasty!!!#sadly not the first I've seen of content of this nature; or implying it (harder to tell with a language barrier tbf)#probably won't be the last of it; either; sadly))
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I love having a cat that lets me snuggle my face into her fur. My cat loves having a human who lets her groom skin (well, as long as I keep my long hairs pulled back lol) and returns the cheek nuzzles she initiates.
#tonks the tiny terror#i’m pretty…physically affectionate with animals. my no1 impulse control issue when I was a kid XD#so it’s nice to have a cat who appreciates it#(it might be Less Intense if my family were huggers but. well. they’re not. and assume I’m not either)#(despite. y’know. hugging and nuzzling cats as much as they allow. same with dogs but I kinda hate dog tongues. too wet and slimy.#(and smells like squirrel butt from them scavenging all the time. gross.)#(…honestly the only reason why I stopped hugging people was body insecurity with how objectified and sexualized cis girls/women bodies are#hah. the one (1) thing I miss about college. making human piles to watch films. crowding around laptop screens
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