#never mind sex positivity includes people choosing to abstain from sex for any reason

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Angela Carter, The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories; from ‘The Company of Wolves’

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ASEXUALITY 101

What is an asexual person?

An asexual person is someone who does not experience sexual attraction. Most individuals find there are certain people they are not sexually attracted to. For asexuals, this includes everybody!

Is asexual another word for celibate?

Unlike celibacy, which is a lifestyle choice, asexuality is a sexual orientation – just like homosexuality, bisexuality, and heterosexuality. Celibacy is a conscious decision not to have sex, regardless of sexual desire. Many asexuals do not consider themselves celibate, as they are giving up no more in abstaining from sex than a gay person is by abstaining from sex with someone of a different gender or a straight person is by abstaining from sex with the same gender. Furthermore, some asexual people do choose to have sex, and therefore are certainly not celibate

Are asexuals disgusted by the idea of sex?

Some asexuals may be “repulsed” by sex, meaning they are personally averse to the idea of having sex themselves. Some are “indifferent”, meaning they do not mind having sex, despite experiencing no sexual attraction. The same variation exists in the non-asexual population: some sexual people are quite happy to have sex with someone they are not sexually attracted to, but for others this idea is unthinkable.

Are asexuals against other people having sex?

Asexuality is not anti-sexuality. While it’s true that many asexuals never have sex, this is not the same thing as having a sex-negative attitude. Attitudes towards sex and its role in culture differ from person to person, just like they do outside the asexual community. Few asexuals express negative attitudes towards sex, but sex-negative attitudes are also present among non-asexual people. Most asexuals are open-minded in their attitudes toward sex regardless of their personal feelings towards it. Many asexuals consider themselves sex-positive.

Do asexuals have relationships?

Just like anybody else, some asexual people desire relationships and some do not. An asexual person can find someone visually attractive (aesthetic attraction), be interested in someone romantically (romantic attraction) and fall in love, but these feelings do not have a sexual dimension.

If a relationship is sexless, isn't it just a friendship?

For the majority of people, sex is regarded as what defines a romantic relationship, with love and sex being closely connected. On the whole asexuals don’t connect love and sex, since they don’t experience sexual attraction. Sex is just one way of expressing romantic love. Sex isn’t necessarily what separates love and friendship: some couples choose to be abstinent yet are romantically involved, and there are people who have sex whilst having no romantic connection. Just as sex can exist without love, love can exist without sex. Romantic love is an almost indescribable feeling and is felt and expressed in different ways by different people. No single way is right or more real than another.

Do asexuals have a gender preference in relationships?

Although asexuals do not experience sexual attraction, many do experience what is called romantic attraction in which most asexuals have a gender preference, or a romantic orientation. Some asexuals describe themselves as heteroromantic (romantically attracted to a different gender), homoromantic (romantically attracted to the same gender), or biromantic (romantically attracted to both men and women). Panromantic asexuals have no gender preference when it comes to romantic relationships, whereas aromantic asexuals are not romantically attracted to anyone, or do not wish to engage in romantic relationships.

Why don't asexuals only date other asexuals?

Although it may be easier for asexual people to date each other, people can’t control whom they fall for and, due to the current obscurity of asexuality and the small and scattered nature of our community, it can be very hard for asexuals to find one another, let alone a compatible asexual partner. Therefore, at present, it is more common for asexuals to find themselves in relationships with non-asexuals. “Mixed” relationships can be tough for both partners, but they can work, provided they are based on good communication, mutual respect, and understanding.

If an asexual is not attracted to anyone sexually, why would they have sex?

There are a number of reasons why an asexual person might have sex. Some asexuals are in relationships with people who are not asexual and negotiate sex as part of their relationship. Some asexuals have sex because they enjoy the physical and emotional connections sex can provide. And some asexuals simply enjoy the pleasurable sensation of sex with another person. Sexuality is defined by how a person feels, not by their behavior.

How can you be asexual but have a sex drive? Isn't that impossible?

Sexual orientation and sex drive are two separate things. Asexuals with a libido experience what is sometimes called an “undirected sex drive”. Whereas most people would ideally satisfy their libido through partnered sexual activity, for asexuals with a libido this is usually not the case, as they are not sexually attracted to anyone.

Can asexuals become sexually aroused?

There has only been one scientific study on asexuality and arousal, and it was only with women. The researchers found that asexual women are just as capable of physiological arousal as non-asexual women, and that asexual women were healthily aware of what was going on in their bodies (Brotto and Yule, 2010). Many asexuals experience sexual arousal. Some don’t, but then that’s true for some non-asexual people too. Although people can become aroused by finding someone sexually attractive there are many other factors that can contribute to arousal (for example: touch, or being exposed to sexual stimuli such as erotica).

Is asexuality caused by irregular hormone levels or by a low/non-existent sex drive?

There is little scientific study on asexuality, as yet, and we have no better understanding of what causes it than we do of other sexual orientations. At present, there is no evidence to suggest that asexuality is caused by hormone imbalances or a deficient sex drive. Although the majority of asexuals do not desire sex, this is largely due to the fact that they do not find anyone sexually attractive, rather than other factors such as hormone imbalances or a low/non-existent sex drive. There are asexuals who have an active sex drive but still do not feel compelled to engage in partnered sexual activity.

Is asexuality caused by trauma or mental illness?

The majority of asexuals have not experienced trauma and do not suffer from mental illness. It is important to remember that trauma and mental illness also occur outside of the asexual community, and there is no data to support the existence of a connection between mental illness and a person’s sexual orientation. On the contrary, according to a recent study ((Brotto et al., 2010), “There were not higher rates of psychopathology among asexuals” than among people in the general population.

Could it be that asexuals just haven't met the right person yet?

Some asexuals have tried engaging in sexual relationships, some more than once, whereas others have felt no need to try sex to verify their feelings. Although some asexuals might choose to experiment sexually, the majority of asexuals just know they don’t want sex with anyone.

Many asexuals have heard this question before. It is similar to telling a straight person that they have not met the right person of the same-gender, or telling a gay person they just haven’t met the right person of a different gender.

How can you know you're asexual without having sex first?

Generally, straight people do not need to have sex with someone of a different gender to know they are straight, just as most gay people do not need to have sex with someone of the same gender to know they are gay. Similarly most asexuals are aware of their orientation without having sex first. There are those however who only conclude they are asexual after having sexual relationships. Any sexual orientation, including asexuality, is an individual experience and we all find out who we are in different ways.

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Premature Ejaculation Pills Singapore Awesome Unique Ideas

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Dorms without any Alcohol Or Drugs College housing options may rank near

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Dorms without any Alcohol Or Drugs College housing options may rank near

Dorms without any Alcohol Or Drugs College housing options may rank near the top the list of things that can influence your degree experience. Your memories of dorm, Greek or living that is off-campus stick with you the others of your life and also make for many interesting — and colorful — stories to fairly share together with your young ones and friends because the years go on.

At some colleges, due to dilemmas associated with over-enrollment, residing conditions have started down rather rocky. Some years back, dorm space was so scarce that a number of incoming first-years had to live in a screened-off section of the main student union building at Penn State’s University Park campus. Exactly How strange is that?

The overflow of enrollees one year required a gathering of modular homes (a.k.a at Princeton University. ‘trailers’) for a previous athletic field, causing what appeared to be a little your retirement community for older people. There were some disparaging remarks made about those atypically housed first-years, most of which came from all the other Princetonians who lived into the Gothic splendor of the other vaunted residential universities.

There clearly was one choice, but, that, I would definitely pursue because of its overall qualities and promise: substance-free housing (SFH) if I were headed to college today,. If you’re mixed up in university process at this time or understand someone who is a scholar who lives on campus, you’ve got probably heard about SFH. What exactly is it and exactly what might be some advantages and disadvantages about it?

Think about University Stereotypes

What is perhaps one of the most images that are common comes to mind whenever you picture stereotypes of university life? Fraternity parties? Empty alcohol kegs flying through windows? Staggering pupils? The scent of hops, barley and smoking or marijuana smoke permeating the air? Stereotypes exist for a reason. They are sometimes quite alarmingly accurate. Think Animal House.

Then you may want to explore the SFH options at the colleges to which you’re considering applying or where you decide to enroll this spring if you are turned off by these kinds of behaviors. I did so a search for schools that offer substance-free housing and, as usual, I was overwhelmed with links. One website link that arrived up was that one, which possessed a partial but list that is interesting of. Here is a sampling:

Albright College (researching, Pa.): Single-sex floors, apartments. Honors, first-year, substance-free and break housing

Bucknell University (Lewisburg, Pa.): Substance-free, Judaic studies, Afro-American studies and environmental housing that is cooperative

James Madison University (Harrisonburg, Va.): Theme housing for worldwide, learning and substance-free, and experience that is second-year. Fraternity houses located off campus

ny University (New York, N.Y.): health, theme, substance-free, first-year experience, sophomore experience, residing learning and co-ed housing

Babson College (Babson Park, Mass.): Substance-free, special-interest and discounted housing

Is SFH Effective?

The greater cynical among us might question the effectiveness of SFH. I’ve heard doubters say that some SFH residents live where there are no ‘substances’ but then wander away from their SF dorms and visit parties in some places. Hence, they cite a component of hypocrisy. What do a little media say on how well SFH works?

‘ … it does make a difference., as it turns out,’ states This new York circumstances. ‘No one claims that pupils who reside in substance-free housing abstain from smoking, drinking alcohol or drugs that mla literature review are using. But at least based on one study, they don’t indulge just as much as others. A 2001 research of more than 14,000 students nationwide unearthed that, compared with other pupils, only three-fifths as much residents of substance-free housing reported binge drinking in the last two weeks.

‘There had been other advantages, too. Students in substance-free housing, the research discovered, were less likely to experience alcohol-related issues, like getting behind in schoolwork, damaging property, engaging in difficulty with all the authorities or riding with a drunken motorist.

‘There is, needless to say, a chicken-and-egg element to these findings. Students dreaming about an university experience that bears some relationship to Animal House aren’t likely to opt for substance-free housing. …

‘ … At many campuses, residents of regular dorms, as well as those assigned to housing that is substance-free didn’t request, say they’re glad the option exists.

”I think it’s good that universities have a health option,’ said Beatrice Capestany, a freshman who was assigned to your health corridor of Vassar’s single remaining all-female dorm, although she did not request it. ‘My dorm is really a really good destination to keep coming back home to if I’ve gone away. It smells a lot nicer than some other dorms, too.’ On that same health corridor, Victoria Ramsey and Kathryn Thomas, both freshmen, could not be more happy with their choice.

”I don’t take in or smoke, and our corridor is neat and quiet,’ said Ms. Ramsey.

‘Ms. Thomas included: ‘I desired a quiet destination for studying. Often it is a refuge, for folks who come and remain till they understand the ongoing party on their floor has died down.”

Okay. That’s the positive side associated with the SFH coin. To keep reasonable and balanced, let us take a good look at the flip part, and some points from Andrew Gottlieb’s Why substance free housing is really a bad idea:

‘ I became surprised to learn that substance residents that are free allowed to take in, and buy term paper writing online much more amazed to learn that many do take in. Even despite these shocks, my freshmen experience has led me personally to simply take issue that is serious the notion of substance-free housing. Its simply unneeded, unjust and divisive to designate floors that are entire substance free.

‘ … If someone is firm in his or her choice to not partake in ingesting, he or she could do this irrespective of where he or she lives. She prefers not even to have alcohol in the room, there could be an option to choose a substance free roommate, without designating entire floors as substance free if he or.

‘The substance free designation is unfair because often the choice to survive a substance-free floor is not left in the hands of a pupil. I have met many students whose moms and dads forced them to reside on a sub-free floor, or even worse, I have met students who did not ask to reside on a sub-free flooring but were put on one anyway mainly because Residential lifestyle had a need to fill rooms. University is just a destination where at long final, young adults achieve full freedom. Making a living option that could be better numerous parents but never to their children is a disservice to students as well as an intrusion in the independency that college claims. …

‘ … The fact is that throughout virtually every Wash. U. graduate’s life, they will have to work with and probably live with or near individuals who usually do not accept their personal decisions about liquor and other substances. a crucial possiblity to get ready for this part of life comes in college. The chance to live with, comprehend and respect the various choices of one’s classmates is indispensable. Washington University should recognize this opportunity that is important alter its housing policies, which currently hamper it.’

Gottlieb verifies that some SFH residents do, indeed, imbibe, which notably substantiates the hypocrisy argument, although one has to understand the intent of every university’s SFH rules and also the motives of those who elect to live there (and maybe the outlook of these who’ve been quartered here being a matter of random placement).

Some Schools Have Contracts

If you are into highly quantified thinking about SFH, then you can care to always check the Journal out of Studies on Alcohol, funded by The Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. The Harvard Gazette recommendations that and attests towards the good aspect of SFH when it notes:

Residents of university housing where liquor and cigarette smoking were banned were less likely to be victims of actions by students have been consuming. Findings through the Harvard School of Public wellness College Alcohol research show that substance-free college residence halls are making a visible impact in the work to cut back the harms that hefty drinking produces among university students. It was the first research to have a national glance at the relationship between substance-free dorms and also the ramifications of alcohol on university campuses. …

Do SFH residents need certainly to produce a pledge that they shall follow the rules of these college’s SFH charter? Listed here is a good example of exactly how Davidson College handles the SFH ‘contract’ [see my bold emphasis]:

We provide substance-free housing for the people pupils who want to minimize their exposure in their living environment to alcohol and behavior that is alcohol-related illicit drugs and cigarette smoking materials. Students surviving in these communities accept not utilize liquor or medications on the flooring community nor bring the effects of those substances back in the hall.

A hyperlink to your substance-free housing application are incorporated into a message from Jason Shaffer. Halls and/or floors to be designated as substance-free are going to be determined after applications are gotten.

All pupils selecting a substance free project will be necessary to finish a substance free housing contract. Failure to uphold the expectations will result in relocation likely to a different assignment.

The College Confidential discussion forum users have debated the professionals and cons of SFH. Here are a few responses from this informative thread:

‘Our child ended up being afraid to select sub-free her freshman 12 months because she wasn’t certain just what it intended in terms of the kinds of children that she’d be paired with. It had been too general at her school. a dorm that is”quiet would’ve been one thing she’d have probably picked, but “sub-free” seemed too basic. Even though she actually is not just a partier, she has friends who’re. Within the end, she regretted not selecting it, I do believe. But it surely will depend on the college and the kid.’

‘At both my kids’ big state universities, most of the dorms had been officially called ‘substance free’ but that did not stop young ones from doing what they wished to do. My son knew some guys that got kicked out of the dorms into the very first semester of freshman year one for marijuana usage while the other for drinking …’

‘My child did substance free housing her first two years at a tiny liberal arts university. The children had to signal an understanding they wouldn’t take in or smoke cigarettes in or come back to the dorm beneath the influence (or bring someone else back beneath the impact). There clearly was no stigma, merely a good dorm that is quiet wild events. Like others said, no vomit within the public areas or vandalism damage. Best part had been no body ever pulled the fire security the night’

Therefore, if you are considering your university housing options, it could pay to see exactly how (or if) substance-free housing would squeeze into your plans. All the information you need to come to a decision about that can be acquired on your colleges’ housing web pages. Take a look!