#(edit: sorry not speaking for everybody but in my experience)
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Hi! I wanted to ask a question and I wasn’t sure if it was too personal or not so just ignore this is you’d rather not answer, but I was wondering if you went to art school or got a degree in it? I really want to start learning and maybe one day start a career in animation and wasn’t sure whether I should spend time and resources getting a degree. I know it’s going to be different for everybody and nothings a guarantee for this field but since I love your style and technical skill I was curious whether you had done that and what were your thoughts on it or if you are self-taught.
Hey anon! No worries it's all good!
Ig I should quickly go through my art journey so you can have an overall look of why I went to art school lol.
So I'm from Vietnam. I think back in 2013 I went to a small art school in Singapore (they were the only one that gave me a scholarship). My major was 3D modeling actually, but during my final year, I realized I only wanted to draw characters for animation. I could already draw decently, so I just read The Silver Way book and built a character design portfolio on my own during this time. I was lucky I got a job as a concept artist at a small animation studio there so I learned a lot from the job. I also did a lot of self-learning and took Woulter Tulp's Expressive Character class on Schoolism.
Then after 3-ish years of working, I got sick of the tiny and dying animation industry in Singapore. I wanna do sth more than just preschool shows and I was severely underpaid lmao. So I quit my job and took the MA VisDev program at AAU. It's a little more affordable cuz u can do 1 year online and the second year on-site. The reason I went to this school even tho i could just take a VisDev class online was cuz i need the visa so i can try to break into the industry in the US.
Now back to your question. Is art school a must? No. Should you still take it? Maybe, depends on your situation. If you can afford it then hell yeah by all means. Art school is great cuz you have professors and peers to help guide you along the way so you won't get lost while trying to figure out your shit. And to have a few years just experimenting and focusing on art is a great experience. Plus you can make a lot of meaningful connections in school and it will help you a long way after you grad. But if you have to go into debt to go to art school, then don't. There are places like Schoolism, CGMA, and Warrior Art Camp where you can pick what class and from whom you wanna learn. If you are not from the US and wanna break into the industry here like me however, then yeah getting a degree is a better bet cuz you can use the student visa and OPT to hopefully get a job here (it's still very very hard tho ngl im struggling rn as we speak lmao). Also, you need a BA to work overseas so there's that too. The hard truth is studios prefer to hire locally than some rando from somewhere else and have to wait for them to relocate and shit, (unless you are exceptionally good and they'd do anything to have you, but that is super rare lol).
Even though I did go to art school, I have to say most of my skills are from self-study. It requires a lot of self-discipline but I'm pretty much obsessed with drawing and I draw everyday so it's not a problem for me. But my friend is not good at that, so she found art school/classes helped her better cuz there are deadlines and instructors to help guide her to reach her goal. So it depends on your learning style tbh.
There is this chart that can help you consider your options. Im sorry it's a very long answer, cuz yes everyone's experience is different. Feel free to drop me another ask if you still have anymore questions tho ^^
Edit: I must also add, though there are online classes and ways to self-learn animation,I do think it only truly benefit you if you know exactly what you wanna do in this industry (for example I already knew i wanna become a character designer for 2d/3D animation specifically so any books/classes i took I tailored it to fit my goal). If you are unsure what you wanna do, then maybe even a cheap animation course will do better, and then you can take extra online classes on the side.

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any manga recommendations?
yessss oh my gosh always, gladly. so honored you would ask little ol me about such a thing... i haven't been reading much lately so here's just a little list of things ive picked up in the past few months or things i've liked for a long time..... all of them are on mangadex so just look em up... Im editing this to put them under the cut sorry i didn't do it before ive been on the clock for like 4 hours and im tired Lights cigarette
fool night yasuda kasumi !!! it's currently ongoing and i recently got caught up... if i had to describe it in two words.. "post-chainsawman." it's very similar in a lot of ways, but has very different priorities.. what i really like about it is that it has kind of a tighter focus on the "poverty and capitalism" angle that chainsawman definitely covers but doesn't really devote its full attention to. in a world where the sun no longer shines, plants can't grow, so humans are constantly at a deficit of oxygen... to combat this, government facilities offer a payout to desperate people who can't afford to live if they allow themselves to be "transflorated" -- basically fed on by a magical spiritual plant that will eventually kill them and release oxygen in their stead. one such desperate person undergoes the procedure only to find he has the special ability to communicate with transflorated bodies after theyve passed... and then he becomes a Plants Detective and shenanigans ensue. Super good it made me cry... art is beautiful..... definitely worth a read if youre looking to pick up something ongoing

babel no toshokan by tsubana - stumbled upon this after reading the artist's other work "wakusei closet" on a whim... this shorter story is much preferred and has engraved itself deeply on my heart. a girl with a strange set of beliefs about reality enters a strange relationship with a boy who can read everything that's ever been written just by touching an identical sheath of paper..... seriously so good. give it a go if you want something short and sweet

planet laika & scorched earth of love by mayuri yoshida, this is a short manga and one shot bundled with it that has been one of my favorites for like FOUR YEARS NOW!!! mayuri yoshida's sickly cute animal people + loving intricate lineart combine to create a really unique visual aesthetic. its about the titular laika , as in, the dog launched into space, who has since become the ruler of a planet of dogs, and her plot to take revenge on humanity. also she has a lesbian wife. the one shot is so good too SO DONT MISS IT!!!

anyone who has heard me talk about comics for the past year or so probably knows i've been trying to get Just yknow everybody on earth to read dead dead demon's dedededestruction by inio asano. nothing i could ever possibly say about it could do it justice it's seriously my favorite manga of all time. it's about being in love with your best friend and the end of the world and aliens and politics and the internet and stuff. asano's art is truly breathtaking and unlike anything else on earth, the characters are all infectiously lovable, and it's just like... endlessly life affirming and heals my heart in a way i have a hard time articulating.

and last one... not strictly manga but i have really enjoyed keeping up with wanan's webcomic no home recently... its a long one, but i read about 275 chapters of it in like 3 days, because it's that hard to put down, LOL... extremely inspiring character writing and also just insanely fun, eunyung became an all time favorite character of mine on impact and it has one of those casts where you can't help but have fun watching them be together in literally any situation. it's about a bunch of kids with shitty family situations trying to figure out to learn to live with eachother. its an extremely good example of mundane character drama being written so compellingly that it will make you start slamming your head on walls at work. Speaking from experience.

miscellany... everyone tells you to read witch hat atelier, do it its good... everyone tells you to read dungeon meshi do that its good... Chainsaw man part 2 is getting crazy right now ...... uhhh... i have a billion more so if none of those interest you let me know and i'll share more. thank yew so much for your interest in my opinions and i hope there's something here you can appreciate!!!~~
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decided to make some mtq incorrect quotes and thought that I'd put them here (sorry if they're out of character- incorrect quotes tend to do that sometimes no matter how much you shuffle the names to get the right characters ToT)(also I censored the swears in the quotes just in case)
Gendaen: Operation no more distractions is a go! not even 10 seconds later Gendaen: Oh, look! A butterfly! -
Gendaen: Ocàyuu, you risked your life to save me! Ocàyuu: And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.
alternatively:
Gendaen: Mysta, you risked your life to save me! Mysta: And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.
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Eth: May Destiny (and this picture of Gendaen eating shredded cheese at 3 in the morning) be with you.
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(they probably won't interact in canon BUT)
Gendaen: gets a text Oh! It’s Malvox. Zaïl, excitedly: Did it get me the stuff? Gendaen: Yeah, it says it got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood. Zaïl: Wow! Where did it find 12 gallons of fake blood? Gendaen: You wanted fake blood? Zaïl: Gendaen: I’ll go call Malvox.
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(okay but this one might be canon /half joking)
Malvox: I am literally evil incarnate. Malvox: I’m not actually, I just enjoy being evil. Malvox: Which I think actually makes it even more evil because I’m making a conscious effort.
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(he's thinking about his newest building project Eth, let the man think /lighthearted)
Eth: Are you listening to me? Gendaen: nods Eth: What did I just say? Gendaen: nods Eth: …
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Malvox quotes are really fun because it is just so mean to everybody and there's a surprisingly large amount of quotes in the generator that are like that
Malvox: Let’s write Eth a friendly note, shall we? Dear… Incompetent… Dumb*ss…
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based on that one post of Eth (you know which one)
Mysta: Question, how difficult would it be to bowl in a bee suit? Gendaen: Not that hard, I don't think, as long as you can move. Eth: I'd assume as hard as it is to bowl in a maid outfit. Eth: Wouldn't be any harder, but you'd get some WEIRD looks. Mysta: Are. Are you speaking from experience. Eth: No! Eth: Eth: ….Maybe.
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Gendaen: Malvox, please calm down. Malvox: I asked for two large fries! Malvox: dumps fries onto table Malvox: But all they did was give me a MILLION F*CKING LITTLE ONES!
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Zaïl, texting Yele: I’m a theif. Yele: Thief. Zaïl: Theif. Yele: I before E except after C. Zaïl: Thceif. Yele: No.
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(the reunion, silly edition)
Eth: You gave me up, you let me down, you turned around, and deserted me. Gendaen: But did I make you cry? Eth: cries on the spot Gendaen: …Sh*t.
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Zaïl: I’m a fool, not an idiot.
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Eth: We always used to do the Wordle rather than take notes in class. Eth: To stop us the teacher would always threaten to tell us the answer if we didn’t pay attention.
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(to be honest I have no idea what this quote is saying I got lost halfway through-)
Eth: I’m taking a look at your numbers, and it doesn’t look good. You have a lot of measurements. Quite a few variables. Mysta: Is that… bad? Eth: Variables are the #1 risk factor for outcomes. The past is a big contributor to the future. Mysta: Isn’t that just causality? Eth: Causality is the leading cause of death in this country. Mysta: So what are my odds? Eth: Do you have a family history? Mysta: Of what? Eth: Just, in general. Mysta: …Yes? Eth: Oh no.
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Yele: Zaïl! I thought you were dead! Zaïl: No, just in deep cover. Yele: …But it was an open casket. Zaïl: It was very deep.
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Mysta: I have an idea. Zaïl: A good idea? Mysta: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
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Zaïl: An apple a day keeps the doctor away! Malvox: An apple a day can keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough.
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Everyone is giving advice to Mysta Eth: It's okay to ask for help. Gendaen: You're not a burden. Malvox: Murder is okay. Yele: Your feelings matter.
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Zaïl, over radio: Testing. Testing. Yele, can you hear me? Yele, standing next to Zaïl: I’m standing right here. Zaïl: You’re coming through good and loud. Yele: ‘Cause I’m standing right here.
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Malvox: Regular soda is too sweet! Ocàyuu: Diet soda has a weird aftertaste! Malvox: No! Ugh, oh my goodness. Diet soda is THE BEST! It doesn't have sugar! It's SPICY! Ocàyuu: It has other weird stuff in it! I'll take REGULAR sugar in my REGULAR soda! Malvox: It's SO SWEET like it's a dessert though! Diet feels more like a drink! Ocàyuu: I'm going to physically attack you. Malvox: Which is better, Gendaen? Gendaen: Oh, I usually drink water! Ocàyuu: Wha- NO! Malvox: DISGUSTING!
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Eth: I think I need a hug… Gendaen: Good thing I'm hug shaped! 45 minutes later Eth: You… you can let go now. Gendaen: No, I absolutely cannot.
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I feel like if anybody were to be the therapist friend it would be Ocàyuu. She seemed pretty chill from what we've seen of her
Ocàyuu, looking at the squad: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.
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Zaïl: Dang it, the printer broke while printing out Gendaen's birthday invitations. Eth: Well, what are they supposed to say? Zaïl: "Gendaen's birthday". Eth: So, what do they say instead? Zaïl: "Gendaen’s bi". Eth: Eth: Works out either way.
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I hope that everybody teams up someday it would be SO fun to watch-
Zaïl: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl…. Yele: …. Gendaen: ….. Eth: …… Mysta: ..Who? Zaïl: That's the thing we don't- Everyone stares at Mysta
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would Zaïl play video games
Zaïl: You… you said I could trust you!! Zaïl: You said you were a GAMER!!! Malvox: Zaïl… I only play mobile games. Zaïl: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
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why do I feel like Gendaen was a bit of a chaos gremlin on top of all the paragon hero stuff
Gendaen: Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset? Eth: No, I said "Gendaen, don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset.
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during the Nelun Soma'o fight
Eth: …I'm pretty sure that shield is fire-proof, or something. Mysta, eyeing the boxes of explosives: Alright, but is it explosion-proof?
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wise words, Zaïl
Zaïl: Fruits that do not live up to their names; passionfruit, grapefruit, honeydew and dragonfruit. Zaïl: Fruits that do live up to their names? Zaïl: Orange.
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Gendaen: I think I did fairly well on my anatomy quiz! :) Mysta: I forgot I was doing a test. Gendaen: Mysta. Mysta: I said the vertebrae was the back stick because I thought it was funny…. Eth: Mysta.
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Gendaen: Three of the four elements are represented as types of hockey. Air hockey, ice hockey, and field hockey. Fire hockey needs to be a thing. Eth: Fire hockey absolutely does NOT need to be a thing. Mysta: Do you care NOTHING for the balance of the four elements?!
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to be fair she is a giant hivemind brain thing
Gendaen: I'm very scary. Ocàyuu: You're about as scary as a wet kitten. Gendaen: Wet kittens are cute, at least I've got that going for me. Ocàyuu: And small. Gendaen: Gendaen: …Yeah, yeah. I guess.
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Mysta: Okay. Hypothetically speaking, how mad would you be if I burned a hot pocket so badly it could probably fall off a ten-story building and be completely fine? Yele: Mysta, what did you do? Mysta: Take a guess.
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Malvox: I’ve been described as a ‘heartless villain’ and a 'little sh*t’, but I prefer… 'has alternative ways of having fun’.
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Eth: Um. What kind of tea is this? Mysta: I boiled gatorade.
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Yele: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes? Mysta: For the dogs. Yele: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs? Mysta: They don't know how.
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Mysta: Let's all agree that going up the stairs on all fours is actually the best experience on earth. Gendaen: Conversely, going down the stairs on all fours is actually the most terrifying experience on earth.
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Gendaen: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner. Eth: Gendaen, It’s 1:15 am, what the f*ck. Gendaen: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not. Eth: Well, I mean yeah. Gendaen: So come downstairs while they’re still hot. Eth: Wait, you just made them? Gendaen: Yeah, I wasn’t tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets. Eth: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time Gendaen.
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I can never figure out what the possessive for the it pronouns are *faceplants* (/lighthearted)
Ocàyuu, about Malvox: Its covered in blood again. Why is it that its always covered in blood? Gendaen: Well, it looks like it's its own blood this time.
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Mysta: on the phone Hey Eth, do you know my blood type? Eth: Of course, it's B-. Mysta: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!
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for some reason some of those quotes are giving Legend of Maxx energy. I can absolutely imagine Maxx saying "slunchy"
Gendaen: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked. Zaïl: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right? Eth: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time. Mysta: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy! Yele: …put it away.
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Zaïl in these quotes is kind of giving cool cousin energy
Yele: It’s Pride Month, you know what that means! Mysta: I get to eat as many Skittles as I want? Eth: What? No! What has Zaïl been telling you? Zaïl, walking in, pouring Skittles into their mouth: Taste the rainbow, b*tch.
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I mean they do canonically have a gun
Zaïl, holding a gun: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true WHOEVERS CONTROLLING MY SIM I JUST WANNA TALK.
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Malvox: I refuse to apologize for being weird or off-putting or slightly evil (or more than slightly evil). That’s actually your problem. I’m having a fantastic time!
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Eth: We need a plan to beat them. Mysta: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food. Eth: Mysta: Judge me all you want, I get results.
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what kind of conversations do you think they'd have
Malvox: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes… Malvox: …And violently jerk their head until it snaps. Gendaen: …That took an unexpected turn. Ocàyuu: So did their neck.
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Eth: What do you three have to say for yourself? Zaïl: Gendaen: Mysta: Oops?
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Gendaen, to the Squad: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go. Mysta: But how- Gendaen, ignoring her: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “no thanks”.
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Gendaen: Don't quote me on this, but I believe murder is illegal!
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if Gendaen somehow convinced Eth to wear a cat maid outfit then I think this isn't entirely out of the realm of possibility either
While planning to break in somewhere Gendaen: Hey, let's do "Get Help!" Eth: What? Gendaen: "Get Help." Eth: No. Gendaen: C'mon, you love it! Eth: I hate it. Gendaen: It's great! It works every time! Eth: It's humiliating. Gendaen: Do you have a better plan? Eth: No. Gendaen: We're doing it! Eth: We are not doing "Get Help!" A Minute Later Gendaen, carrying Eth: Get help! Please! He's dying! Help him! throws Eth at guards, knocking them out Gendaen: Ahh, classic! Eth: gets up I still hate it. It's humiliating. Gendaen, laughing: Not for me, it's not.
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aaand that's it for now I will be back with more
maybe
byeeeeeeeeeeee- *disappears in a puff of smoke*
Certified Canon ✔
#obviously not everything here is in character per se but honestly most of it is surprisingly accurate#even the gendaen ones and he's barely said anything all comic#i also really appreciate the malvox ones. i think you get why it's my favourite character to write dialogue for#and wow you actually typed the diaeresis in Zaïl's name every time. good work#really appreciate this!#ask#ask dk
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Disliking Your Creation
One of my top ten moves is Better Off Dead. The 1985 film was written and directed by Savage Steve Holland and starred a young John Cusack. Many viewers would consider this a brat-pack, teeny-bopper, and typical 80s film, but I found it well-written, perfectly acted, and some of the best movie lines ever. And the soundtrack? It is in my top five. (The Breakfast Club, Beverly Hills Cop, Lost Boys, and Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure make up the other four.)
All the gushing aside, there is a big problem. John Cusack hated the movie. He felt Savage Steve humiliated him, and the movie could have been much better. In an interview with costar Dan Schneider, he said:
“The next morning, he basically walked up to me and was like, ‘You know, you tricked me. Better Off Dead was the worst thing I have ever seen. I will never trust you as a director ever again, so don’t speak to me.’”
“It made me not care about movies anymore. And I didn’t even want to do One Crazy Summer at that point. I was just gone. It was sort of like the break-up that I made Better Off Dead about. It was so out of left field that it just floored me.”
I watched the movie for about the twentieth time last night and began thinking about John Cusack’s opinion. We have all done things we are not proud of, but it is unusual when others cherish those things we created. Typically, we do the opposite by convincing everybody that our awful creation is not that bad.
This kind of reaction has only happened once in my life. I developed a testing device that had many flaws. My company made 50 for production and field workers, but I felt the flaws could easily be corrected, so I built a better version. Clearly, the workers would throw away my abomination and lovingly take my new design into their hearts.
Of course, everybody liked the first design and refused to touch the improved one. I had to look away whenever I saw them using the first version. When I left the company, I asked if I could have one of the second versions, and it is now in a box in my attic. Yet, that is not the same. The equivalent would be writing a book I hated but everybody loved.
My reaction to this possibility is, “Well if I hated it so much, I would not have published it, stopped selling it, or released a second edition to correct the flaws.” John Cusack did not have that option, so this kind of situation is not the same. But let’s drive this train wreck a little further down the track.
Let’s say my books took off, and I signed with a mega-publisher. (Yes, it is more likely that Madona will knock on my door and offer to clean my house for free while humming Material Girl.) The publisher takes an early version of my next book, radically alters it, and makes it an instant hit. Because of the contract, I am powerless to stop them.
That is the closest life situation I can imagine that mirrors what John Cusack faced. So, how would I feel about it? I would be angry and tell all my fans not to read the book. Yet… I certainly would cash those fat checks. And there is the double-edged knife. Would I tell my fans not to buy my book? Are my morals that rock-solid? After all, they would be enjoying my words. And a fat check is a fat check. So, yeah, I can see myself brooding about the incident instead of making a sizeable public deal.
What would I say to a fan who wanted to discuss my book? “Sorry, it wasn’t my best?” But what would listening to endless compliments feel like? “Wow, your book is so fantastic.” Man, that double-edged knife digs in deep.
This thought experiment made me want to interview John Cusack, yet I understand that this topic upsets him. He is a creative person who takes pride in his accomplishments. Seeing that movie or hearing a comment probably feels like a bee sting. I certainly do not want that feeling. Yet, I loved the film.
So, what does that make me? It makes me confused. I want to respect John Cusack and enjoy the film simultaneously. It isn’t easy to merge the two feelings. When thinking about this, I saw two options. I can continue to praise the movie while knowing John is getting paid, or I can eliminate the film from my heart, knowing this secretly makes John happier. Yeah… Did I mention how much I enjoy the soundtrack?
You’re the best -Bill
April 09, 2025
Hey, book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:
Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.
Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.
Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.
Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.
These books are available in softcover on Amazon and in eBook format everywhere.
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God are the American Christians pain in a butt. via /r/atheism
God, are the American Christians pain in a butt. I mean, don't get me wrong, we have some characters here too. Grandma won't speak to you, Christmas with family is hell, priest is the village boss for some reason etc. but the kind and numbers of stories we hear from US is mind-blowing. And the fact that some of you are completely alienated by your whole community is just unimaginable for me. My parents brought us up catholic, but let's be honest, everybody was catholic back then, so... I went to mass every Sunday with friends (my parents never wen't but threw us First Communion parties), sang in choir which was fun and argued with the sister teaching religion. Snuck from church to drink with classmates and visit churches on school trips. Grandma took us every time we visited over the weekend - she's the only one that cares, but she kinda accepted we're all on another page, I think she believes in God's eyes it doesn't metter. Now most of my friends identify as atheists of some sort, some are catholic, but I wouldn't be able to remember who exactly. I live in the countryside and everybody around probably goes to church, but nobody holds that against us. Obviously. Most people I know have similar experiences, maybe with some angry old folk or pissy parents mixed in, some have it worse - I'm lucky, but I just don't hear many horror stories. If any, they are in relation to JW. It's a sect, and sects are everywhere. But the most we hear about are in the US. Holy f*ck, I can't believe those stories. Monsters everywhere o_o And the readiness of people to argue, or even impose or assume... it just seem so alien to me. I'm deeply sorry if you ever had to deal with this sh*t, even more so if you're in the midst of it. [edit: spelling. Sorry for any bad English] Submitted September 14, 2023 at 11:20PM by Buraku_returns (From Reddit https://ift.tt/K8NW1Vm)
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The Will to Change as a whole is also very explicitly not just a dialogue for men who are positioned below white men? I'm very unsure how someone can come to that conclusion unless they just haven't read the book.
The quote about "creating loving males" is an early quote that essentially functions as one of the thesis statements of the book. The quote is on page 11 of the First Washington Square Press trade paperback edition, published January 2005 - I'm literally holding my heavily read, highlighted copy in my hands right now.
hooks goes on to spend a bit of time speaking on Black experiences with manhood and masculinity but The Will to Change is very much not a book explicitly about Black gender relations, but is instead about the broader Patriarchal suppression of men as a whole and how we as a society, as men, as women, as Feminists, can change that. It's a very wide breakdown of the Patriarchy and how it impacts men of many positions of power in society (granted, while many things within it still hold true, it is now somewhat dated - especially given some of the things she says about gay men).
But I digress. I'm sorry OP, but you are actually the one stripping the quote of its context and recontextualizing it here.
It's also very interesting to say hooks' dialogue is only for specific groups of people when one of her main talking points as an activist when she was still with us was that feminism is for everybody and how feminist action/theory should be collaborative and build upon itself. That's kind of why she wrote the book, Feminism is for Everybody.
white transandrophobia proponents cannottt get enough of that bell hooks quote about loving males as if they didn't cherry pick that quote from a completely different context and apply it to their own ends. wielding a token black feminist to further oppress women is making me fucking sick
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🦷.
#i was at the dentist earlier and got my metal cages removed but somehow it made me think of ppl who i’ve known in hs#the ones who you knew before and after they got braces on and shit like i knew someone who had braces since before we met#so i’ve known them only as bracefaces and now theyre off and im like :o#and one thought led to the other abt knowing ppl across points in ur life like not close close but acquaintances#and how you always somehow find comfort in faces you used to know from a younger time than complete strangers in ur older years#(edit: sorry not speaking for everybody but in my experience)#somehow that led to me thinking abt chuuya 🙁🔨 i swear the brainrot is so bad and while i was literally gagging from#the retainer mold i was thinking abt how chuuya would be like if i knew him since his childhood days and now i want to write a headcanon#i think i *think* of him enough to come up with smth to a) satisfy my needs and b) feed my delusions#might write it later actually#block of text again 😭 sorry !!!#🎩#toff.txt
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𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐁*𝐓𝐂𝐇 ; 𝐆𝐔𝐍-𝐖𝐎𝐎 𝐗 𝐅𝐄𝐌!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑
𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒, 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐉𝐎𝐁𝐒, 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.
summary: y/n tries to blend into the group, meanwhile it’s harder then she thought. on the other hand, memories are getting back to her.
wordcount: 3.328k
tw: swearing, y/n is a little bit bitchy (again but not that pick-me style), finally some action, flashbacks about parents (i won’t tell you what’s my purpose with this hahahahah), crime. some heartwarming fluff (i won’t spoiler, read it girlie)
author's note: it’s half 1am, edited this on phone. sorry for not writing, i had a job interview, yaaay!!
part 1 part 2 playlist!!
“so, what do you think about hyeon-ju and the plan?” woo-jin asked as they sat at the table.
“she seems cool. but a little bit antsy. i’m not familiar with personal questions at job interviews.”
“why, what were your interview questions?” woo-jin asked, as gun-woo handled the meat.
y/n snickered.
“my boss just looked at my cv, i had enough experience. i’m working at a bar, i’m a so-called little boss. nevertheless, my wage does not show this” y/n huffed a little, getting a message. looking at it, she chuckled. “oh, speak of the devil, it's him! asshole.” she murmured as she put away the phone.
“won’t you gonna answer it?” gun-woo asked. y/n shook her head.
“no, he probably bothered me with some easy-peasy tasks. i swear if i wouldn’t be there, he couldn't even sign or read a paper about procurements!”
“at a bar? what is the name?” woo-jin asked.
“pink panda. close to the station, but not too close for drunk people to get home.” y/n replied. gun-woo’s chest tightened a little bit; if woo-jin and y/n get to talk about this, he’s gonna feel… like an outsider.
“i know that place! me and my friends got to drink there a lot, but i never saw you.”
“probably you were just too drunk.”
at y/n’s words, the three laughed. “working in a bar is cool, even if we close at 10pm because of covid. a lot of people came and went from where i work because the management didn’t have the money to pay them. only mine and some co-workers’ salaries haven't been shortened; everybody else's has varied through time.”
��that’s shit… i used to teach gym classes to kindergartners at my friend’s school, a gym teacher of some sort. but since then it was shut, i’ve been a bit of a bind.”
“well, don’t worry about it,” said y/n, as she chewed on the meat that gun-woo served them. “that probably didn't suit you anyway.”
“you think so too?” gun-woo laughed. y/n smiled and nodded.
“you two can go and damn yourselves, kids fucking love me!” woo-jin protested. “but i suppose, with drunk people it’s a little bit more difficult.”
“don’t even begin, please,” y/n shrugged, “i can handle them. lot of people try to suffocate their depression and unsuccessfulness into alcohol, but only the bartenders see how broken they are. probably, you wouldn’t sober in a bar, especially at night, that’s why you don’t care about other people, but workers, like me can see everything. i have had to gain a lot of nerves ever since i started working at pink panda. with covid, happy parties and celebrations started to decrease, and more and more working, depressed men and women had come to us. i couldn’t think that i’d have a sore heart anytime when it comes to closing time. shit, some people’s state is seriously a cause of concern.”
“that’s really depressing. see, now you made a bad vibe! how can i happily eat this meat if you say these kinds of things? aish, y/n, i just wanted to ask if you can make some good drinks, and now we are here, like in some death row.” woo-jin tsked, y/n furrowed her eyebrows.
“oh, well, then sorry to tell you that! i can’t recommend these people to go to a psychiatrist anyway.” she murmured.
“why not?” gun-woo asked, and then y/n looked at him through the fog of the frying pan.
“because i have to work somewhere too, and i’m too dumb for a major in psychology.”
the three laughed.
“true, true. now then y/n, what kind of drinks can you make?” woo-jin asked, tucking some kim-chi in his mouth.
“anything you want. why, you want to get drunk?”
“no, i’m just saying that if our mission goes well, maybe you could practice with us. i like cocktails with whiskey, and tequila!” woo-jin suggested.
“whiskey? you seem like a vodka-type of guy.” y/n responded. gun-woo listened to the two, and somehow felt ashamed for not drinking as his best friend.
“and what do you think, what do gun-woo drinks?” woo-jin asked, nudging gun-woo with his shoulder. y/n tilted her head, like she was guessing. gun-woo hoped the blush didn’t creep up to his cheeks, like he felt the embarrassment filled his veins.
“i don’t know… maybe he doesn't drink? he doesn’t have sunken eyes like you.”
“sunken eyes? i do not have sunken eyes!” woo-jin huffed. “and what do you drink, y/n?”
“maybe it’s gonna surprise you, but i don’t drink that often. i have to say that i only drink on special occasions. but, a good gin or some fine cocktails are always a prize for my liver. seeing other people’s misery everyday, somehow takes away the mood from alcohol.”
gun-woo tried not to let the flashbacks kick in, as he thought about his dad. he imagined, what if y/n still serves his father in pink panda but she doesn’t know that it’s his father.
“if i could make a decent cocktail, i’d make drinks everyday. everytime! when i was in the marine, me and my comrades had to drink shit soju or whiskey, or rum with cola. it was terrible!” woo-jin shivered, probably from the memory of the taste of it.
“cola and rum could be cuba libre, but judging by the marine, i would say that yeah, it was really just some shitty alcohol-juice. talking about marine, gun-woo, are you an ex-marine too?”
woo-jin grinned, clinging to gun-woo. “believe it or not, but gun-woo was the best part of the marine! he was elite! scouts! cool, huh?”
y/n smiled, looking at gun-woo.
“didn’t know you were this cool.”
if gun-woo’s heart wasn't already beating fast in his chest, y/n’s words and the confident smile on her lips guaranteed to cause him an almost-tachycardia. how could she be so cool and so cute at the same time?
“i… i don’t like to boast about it. being a marine gave me such good things as patience, tolerance, and stamina. maybe that’s how i could begin boxing, without these things, i could have maybe given up.” gun-woo said shyly, y/n clinked her chopsticks with his.
“if you have nothing else, you can say these things with confidence, you know? my father was also a scout at the marine, and he wa… is the best man i’ve ever knew. look at me, i don’t even have any experience from the military, i’m only a girl who works in a shitty bar with shitty people.”
“but you can mix cool drinks! cocktails!” woo-jin protested, making y/n shrug her shoulders.
“and you can fight in many martial arts!” gun-woo added. “can is ask… something personal?”
y/n leaned back, furrowing her eyebrows in a funny way, but her expression was calm and absentminded.
“we aren’t at the interview now. and you two seem to peel every skin off of me. so, go on! ask me.”
gun-woo curled his fingers a little bit.
“why do you know this much about martial arts? i don’t want to insult you, but girls your age… aren’t so interested in these. did something happen… or…” he didn’t know how to continue it. y/n nodded, pushing away the plate from herself a little bit, like if she needed some place.
“it’s a family tradition. before yeongsan, we also lived in the outskirts of seoul. some places are really dangerous, we lived in a building estate, but crime like rape and theft was common everyday. my father knew that if i don’t learn how to look out for myself, i can be a victim easily. in the beginning, i hated training and boxing, and that my father beat me up with the sons of his friends. i hated running in the morning, i hated doing push-ups and practicing the movements… but after that, when i was like eight or nine, i don’t remember, my mother got harassed when was coming home at night. seeing her sad, crying and sitting with her at the police station… broke something in me. “y/n snuggled in her seat, looking down at the plate. “i hated the place we were living at, i hated every person on the street, i saw everyone of them as the attacker of my mother. i used that hate to gain my strength, everyday. i ran everyday to get away from the men who wanted to harass me, i fought the guys in my father’s gym to beat the guys who picked on me at school. and i… i made a promise every day.”
“promise of what?” woo-jin’s voice was like an axe that broke the ice. y/n looked up at him.
“that nobody can beat me. that i’ll fight, cut or run out from every dangerous situation. and everybody that hurts my family or my loved ones, that means that they hurt me.” y/n answered.
“you are so brave”, gun-woo said, from instinct. it didn't matter if the girl’s mother, sister, friend or whoever got hurt… it mattered that they had the same cause to get strong. to protect. and those people who train and fight for other people’s protection, that meant that they never used it for bad.
“what? i’m not!” the girl shook her head. “i’m just strong. it’s really bad to say, but if mother doesn’t get harassed… maybe i never learn that there’s actual danger in the world. or i learn, but too late, when i can't do anything about it.” y/n protested.
“you are cool, y/n. i mean, you dont look like you could beat a guy. or, in other meaning, any guy.” woo-jin added, getting her huffing.
“just because i don’t have big muscles like you, that doesn’t mean i can’t beat others! okay, people who are built like mountains are the exception, but i still can run.”
gun-woo thought about in-beom, and how the man beat him, even if gun-woo was really strong. he imagined that what if y/n was in front of in-beom… only thinking about made his stomach churn. he’ll never let y/n meet in-beom, and never will let him hurt her.
“did you run from situations?”
“sure. i don’t fight if it’s already hopeless. but it was only two or three times, when i was little. it’s also important to measure your chances and possibilities if you don’t want to die.”
“wise words. but now, let’s eat!” woo-jin ended the conversation by getting a bite from the meat.
after lunch, the three were getting back to the bookstore. gun-woo walked beside y/n.
“you were right, when you said that thing about chances, and possibilities. maybe… i should have run too, or gotten myself and my mother safe.”
“i think if you ran from smile capital, they could have found you again, and again. i don’t know if you did the right thing, but let’s say that you didn't have any other choice. and if someone's life is at stake, then… you feel that you gotta give in everything, if their life matters to you.” y/n replied.
“did you… find your mother’s aggressors?” gun-woo asked. y/n looked at him, nodding.
“yeah. i… i wanted to kill them. my own desire to kill scared me too, i was only twelve! but in the end, i thought i couldn't bear the weight of killing three people. i rather beat them up, and called the police that they tried to assault me. i told the policemen that it was self-defense, when it came to their wounds. i guess they’re still in prison, but i’m not sure if i could recognize them again.”
“did you hurt other people too? for vengeance?” gun-woo asked, the girl shook her head.
“not that hard. just frightened away some boys who disturbed me in school. after school, i never wanted to go to university. i don't have instagram or any social platform, i don’t want other people to see my face on the internet. even that’s a miracle that you found me.”
“you father is sir choi’s friend. i think that sir choi thought about you. did something happen to your father?” at gun-woo’s question, y/n shook her head, stopped walking.
“can you… just please, don’t fuss about my father? i know that you don’t ask me because you want to tease me, but…” y/n stepped closer to gun-woo, looking into his eyes. gun-woo didn't see tears, but something much more frightening: sadness, the type of sadness that washes over any other feeling. suffering from memories, from something that you can’t change. her lips tightened, like she tried to keep something inside, eyebrows furrowing, but in the painful way. “...it’s more horrible than you can imagine. everytime i want to talk about it, it’s… like i see everything in front of myself again.”
gun-woo nodded, his expression hardened.
“did the president of smile capital do that?”
for a couple of seconds, y/n’s face was still. she wasn’t even blinking, but then, a nod, soft as a breath came from her. gun-woo patted her shoulder, looked into y/n’s eyes again. they were shining from something he couldn't name. she focused on every word that came out from his mouth.
“we’ll catch yang jae-myeong tonight. you don’t have to worry about those memories anymore.”
[ 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐏 ]
the sky was dark as hyeon-ju’s car rode through the empty streets of seoul. they followed the car that supposedly drove yang jae-myeong and his gang to steal IDs in the dark of the night. y/n tried to follow the car with her eyes, but hyeon-ju then threw a cap to her to cover her hair, the mask was already covering the lower side of her face. woo-jin and gun-woo sat in the back, y/n on the passenger's seat beside hyeon-ju.
“so you know the plan, right?” hyeon-ju asked, as y/n tried to tuck all her hair under the cap. it was impossible, she had longer hair and the cap would slide off with every slight movement.
“do i really need to wear this shit?” she whimpered as she looked constantly in the little picture of the rear-view mirror. hyeon-ju didn’t even look at her as she kept driving.
“you have unusual hair, y/n. what do you think, would it be ten or fifteen minutes to find you on the streets? smile capital has people everywhere!”
“okay, chill. geez…” the other girl murmured, in the little mirror, she saw gun-woo’s eyes. y/n made an ‘is hyeon-ju seriously this crazy and antsy?’-look. gun-woo snickered, his eyes crinkled and y/n knew he wanted to laugh.
hyeon-ju suddenly stopped; woo-jin almost knocked his head into the seat in front of him.
“ow! are we here?” he asked, hyeon-ju turned back.
“get out. and don’t fuck up the plan, remember?”
“yes!” the three answered in a choir, climbing out from the car. y/n pulled her jacket over her body tighter, in the middle of the night, it was colder than a couple hours earlier. but it was january, so she didn’t complain. in the outskirts of the city where she lived before she had to move on, winters were more cruel. her mother always filled the heating pad she used for menstrual cramps, took it under the blankets so y/n didn’t freeze at night –but several times, when her father didn’t come home, only at sunrise, she slept with her mother. although the cold was almost breaking her bones, she found a calmness that she couldn’t find anywhere else. not in the warmest room, not when she was sitting in her bathtub on her own rent.
“there he is” woo-jin muttered, shaking y/n out of her memories. it’s no time for reverie, it’s time for action. they sneaked down on the stairs where the gang was going down, as quiet as they could. gun-woo looked at y/n, nodding reassuringly. y/n nodded back, trying to hear what they said, but they were too far to get to know anything.
“we need to go closer” y/n whispered to gun-woo, who nodded.
“i know.” he answered. “maybe we…” but then, woo-jin ran forward, hiding behind another pillar under the arcades. gun-woo tried to sing to him, but the other was singing constantly, “stop singing to me! we’re gonna get caught!”. woo-jin accidentally knocked down a box. the thud was so silent, and yet so loud. y/n didn't have to see that yang jae-myeong and his gang suspected something.
“oi, is there someone?” the air froze. y/n’s heartbeat began to overcome her breath, she looked at gun-woo. they communicated with their eyes.
we're gonna get caught. we fucked up!
don’t worry.
they heard footsteps. y/n closed her eyes, the leap seconds seemed to be hours, and the footsteps were like ticking bombs. she tried to disappear just thinking about it, but opened her eyes when she felt something… something with her hand. it was warm, and had a little grip on it, but so gentle that only the warmness was constant. y/n slowly looked down.
gun-woo held her hand in his. y/n barely held hands with anyone she knew, but with him, it was so natural. like he always used to touch her. she didn’t try to shake it down, maybe it was from the adrenaline, but more because of the comfort. it somehow calmed her down, but only for a second, when she heard footsteps again. she didn’t knew how far the bad guys were, and it confused and frightened her. he didn’t see yang jae-myeong ever, was he a mountain? or the best fighter in the town? he surely had a knife, she could handle it, but his gang… were they not enough for them? all these questions got the worst out from her. that’s it, we’re fucked.
no, we’re not.
gun-woo slowly lifted up his other arm, putting his pointing finger in front of his mouth, be quiet. y/n nodded, but when the footsteps were like the closest, she waited for that yang jae-myeong guy to pop up beside gun-woo’s head. now she was the one who held a tight grip on gun-woo’s hand. she didn’t dare to close her eyes. she could almost hear gun-woo’s breath and heartbeat.
“come on man, there’s nobody! you’re just drunk, fucker.” another guy said. y/n tried not to breathe out so loudly. the footsteps faded, y/n tried to count it. by ten footsteps, maybe they were distant enough and had turned down in the arcades. woo.jin looked at them, y/n bend over gun-woo, giving him a ‘i’ll blind you with your own fingers’-look. gun-woo, slower than a sloth, began to peek out. he turned back as fast as lightning, giving y/n a little heart attack again. he nodded. it’s clear.
y/n nodded back. then, go!
sneaking on the only possible way down, they heard as yang jae-myeong began to bewitch his next victim. he got the homeless man, got his ID. y/n’s anger boiled, but he couldn’t do anything. they sacrificed the smaller bad on the altair of the bigger good. it reminded her of when her mother played ‘what do you see? i see a…’ game with her, to get her away from thieves and homeless people.
yang jae-myeong wasn’t that lucky with the second one. as much as y/n could hear, he stole the ID from him. idiot, how could he not remember? he only had one job! y/n rolled her eyes, but when gun-woo shook her shoulder, she looked there. they were beating the guy.
“what the fuck?” she whispered to woo-jin, who catched gun-woo’s arms.
“gun-woo, you can’t be involved!” he tried to stop him. with every thumping and clanking sound, bones and body parts were clashing to the ground, gun-woo looked at y/n. please, stand by my side. please reassure me that it’s okay to fuck up a plan and saving a man from dying. please, let me do the right thing.
y/n huffed.
“we don’t have time to negotiate on this. i don’t give a crap about this plan if we let an innocent person die.” she said, didn’t even finish the sentence and gun-woo began to attack. he easily knocked down the two of them, leaving only yang jae-myeong standing.
“who the fuck are you?” the guy yelled, y/n looked at him. he didn’t even look like a criminal; he seemed like a normal guy. or an asshole. okay, more like an asshole. gun-woo hesitated, this was yang jae-meong’s moment to attack as he flipped out his butterfly knife. the moment of shine didn’t come though; as y/n saw the sharp object directed at her friend, she kicked out from his hand. “and who the fuck are you?”
y/n didn’t say anything, only standing undo a fight position; she didn’t even know if it was krav maga, systema or muay thai —it was her instinct.
seeing the overpower, yang jae-myeong decided to run away without his gang. loser; they’re just doing this together for money. y/n was proud of herself; how fast did she make deductions! surely it was the adrenaline.
as the bad guys ran away, gun-woo crouched down to the man, touching its head —it was swimming in blood. if he wasn’t dead already… he could be just in ten minutes.
“call the ambulance” y/n said. woo-jin was freaking out at the time.
“hyeon-ju is going to kill us” he said, with his phone in his hand. the girl stepped in front of him.
“no, she won’t. call her, tell this, otherwise she’s gonna find it out and she or we all gonna get in trouble later.”
“but—“
“no buts! it’s our only choice.” y/n didn’t know why, but she added a “if she’s yelling really loud, give it to me.”
“why? you are freaked out too! you wanted to kill me!”
“you knocked down a damn box, geez! just call her! tell her what we did. and try to calm her.”
“thanks for the impossible task” he murmured, as he searched for the girl’s contact.
tooking off her cap and mask, y/n felt a little bit relieved as she could breath fresh air after the stale one under her mask. crouching down to look at the men, checking his pulse, she looked at the neon signs. her chest felt sore, and this whole situation was so screwed.
looking at gun-woo as he talked to the ambulance on the phone, for a couple of moments she just stared in front of her.
according to the minutes when yang jae-my ring was just assuming that someone was following them…
…now they were truly fucked.
𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐄𝐃.
author's note: m tired )): but we reached more than 140 notes on the first part, u are all so awesome!! i love y’all 🥺🥺🎀🍵🩷��🩰 that’s why it’s worth it to stay up late at night and finish this <3
taglist: @fairyhani @castleninja @littlebaby-bunbun
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#bloodhounds kdrama#bloodhounds netflix#bloodhounds imagines#bloodhounds x reader#bloodhounds#gun woo x reader#gun woo imagines#woo jin x reader
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BPP, have you hated a song at first listen before but then tried to listen to it again and you ended up liking it?
Cuz that’s what happened to me with PTD. I remember listening to it when it dropped with a kind of grimace? on my face and refusing to listen to it again right after. My brain didn’t like how it sounded at all. But when the members performed it live, I really loved it, especially when they first did it at PTD concerts. I really grew to appreciate how happy it makes you feel. And the concert variation has so many interesting elements to it compared to the recorded version too. It sounds so fresh and peppy. I think I just didn’t like the autotune? and how it made them sound so flat to me. Now I’m going through it with Dreamer too but I don’t think it’s cuz of autotune since I think Jungkook sounds okay in it. I didn’t like it at first listen but I’ll give it a chance with the live performance once twitter ARMYs clips it.
Ask 2: i have a lovehate relationship with your blog. i thought you were full of yourself and a bit annoying when you didn't reply to my ask on jk performing at the world cup.. i felt like you told me to shut up and be quiet by not replying me even when i explained everything the whole controversy you just said everybody should do what they want like you didn't care about jk. sorry for saying that i now see your point.
**
Hi Anon(s),
Anon 1, your experience with PTD is almost exactly like mine. I also found PTD too sweet, too sugary in an artificial way, the first time I heard it. But I really liked the song played live in concert. You sent this ask to me a long while ago Anon, so I wonder if Dreamers did in fact grow on you.
Personally, Dreamers just isn't a song that can grow on me. The potential of that happening is already maxed out and I'm still indifferent. My mom is a huge fan of the song though, and obsessed with one particular tiktok edit of JK singing the song lol. Apparently, he's her bias now.
...
This is a bit of a personal tidbit, but my mom usually does not care for k-pop or anything related to BTS. But for the last few weeks she's expressed strong pride in her heritage and always mentioned BTS in the same sentence. To see Jungkook singing the opening song at the World Cup, to seeing Korea's team advance into the tournament... I'm not sure if my followers are keeping up with news out of Korea but a lot of fucked up shit is happening right now. Korea's participation and profile at the World Cup unexpectedly turned out to be one of the few bright spots lately. I personally did not have a strong opinion one way or the other about Jungkook performing at the World Cup, and I still don't. Like I guessed, many of the people up in arms about him performing there still watched the world cup and hyped it in one way or other, or they did nothing actually towards the cause they appeared so passionate about. And while that's not necessarily wrong, it's lame. My opinion on the underlying issues is that many of those issues are rampant in Korea, and we can all compartmentalize for this, but somehow never for brown cultures, generally speaking. And again that's not wrong per se, but it's inconsistent. And lame.
As the boys mature and get into other ventures, it's very possible they'll do things and/or collaborate with people we disagree with for whatever reason. And each time the fandom will react the way it has always done: each individual will do what they want. Just as they did during this World Cup. So Anon 2, I just thought to cut the bullshit and get to the crux of it for all the panicky asks I was getting about JK performing at the World Cup. I felt that outside a handful of people who truly care, most of the anxiety around JK performing was performative, and that eventually people will do what they actually want to, which is get on with whatever is happening which at the time will be watching the World Cup. And that's what happened.
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do you have any thoughts on bree tanner?
On Bree Tanner herself, not so much. I did read her book, and from my recollection (I lent it to a friend who never gave it back. And I’m pretty sure she didn’t even read it(!)) Bree is pretty much what she’s presented as.
She’s not stupid, but she’s not particularly intelligent either, she’s nice, but not a saint. She has been a vampire for only a few months, but she has already lost her empathy for humans. She’s an introvert who cares deeply for her friend Fred and crush Diego. She was never inclined to fight anybody, and spent the newborn battle just sort of mingling in quiet terror.
She’s a sweet person I’m sure would have made a pleasant addition to the Cullen coven, but ultimately she’s not remarkable.
When it comes to Diego, her supposed mate... hm. For those who didn’t read the book, Riley told the newborns they had to stay in the shadows or they’d burn in the sun. Bree gets a huge crush on one of the other newborns, and they find out vampires actually sparkle. This changes everything! Diego goes to tell Riley about the sparkling. Diego goes to live on a farm after that. No, really, that’s pretty much what Riley tells everybody. Diego is fine, he’s on a very special assignment, next question. Bree eventually figures out that Diego is dead, and her grief combined with a lot of other factors lead to her concluding life is miserable. She dies thinking “Oh well, guess I had a good run.”
Not unsurprisingly, I not only don’t believe in mates, but I also don’t think Diego was anything close to it for Bree either. They were close friends, Bree found out he was dead, and had no time to process it. More, vampires feel very strongly, and this was the only truly emotional event to befall Bree. It knocked her out completely. So, that she then decides she doesn’t mind dying because there’s no point living in a world without Diego seems to me to be a reaction born of her being young (both for a vampire and a human), emotionally inexperienced, and having been hit by this news less than an hour earlier. Had she lived, she would have been just fine.
So, those are my thoughts on Bree Tanner as a person.
Bree Tanner's impact is a different matter.
I think her death was one of the catalysts for the plot of Breaking Dawn.
The vampires in Seattle all died, Victoria included. There were no one left who knew Bree, and her life would have been a moment lost in time, like tears in the rain (Sorry, couldn’t resist).
But there were the Cullens. More specifically, Carlisle.
Carlisle had spent his formative years in Volterra, and parted with Aro in friendly terms. He remained fond of Aro, and continued to think highly of him. He and Aro would have spoken of the Volturi, of the Volturi mission, of how such a law is enforced, and it is prudent to also assume that Carlisle would have witnessed at least a few trials. He came away from all that thinking of the Volturi as strict, but fair rulers.
Jasper, by comparison (I’m bringing him in because I think he’s more representative of how your average vampire who hasn’t been Aro’s boytoy for decades would view the Volturi), shivers in fright at the mere thought of the Volturi. To him they were executioners. But, again, fair. You break the law, and the Volturi descend upon you like God of the Old Testament.
Then cut to Eclipse, Victoria’s got a newborn army wreaking havoc in Seattle, attracting a lot of attention in a developed country in a time of globalized news. They’re on CNN daily. They might as well write “Fuck the Volturi” in the sky.
And the Volturi do nothing.
Now why, Carlisle and his family wonders, would they do such a thing?
Edward has all the answers, of course - that Aro is choosing not to intervene because he doesn’t like how large and powerful Carlisle’s coven has gotten, and Victoria’s newborn army will take care of that for him. Edward also goes on about how Aro desperately wants him and Alice by his side, which does prompt an “... you sure about that?” from Carlisle, but ultimately Aro’s inaction on the subject speaks for itself and Carlisle can’t make any excuses for it.
Regardless of Aro’s motives, that the Volturi would not be coming to enforce their own law became very clear. As a result of their inaction, Carlisle was forced to betray several of his own principles. He had to ask Jasper to teach the family how to kill others, he had to accept the aid of teenagers who could very well get themselves killed, he had to put his beloved family at risk, and he had to kill other vampires.
Aro’s inaction put him through hell and could have gotten his family killed. Would have, if it weren’t for the wolves.
Jane then decides to make her entrance right after the battle ended, while the fire is still going. The timing could not be more clear: the Volturi were waiting it out, letting the Cullens be culled.
We then get to Bree, who was an innocent in all the ways that counted, and not at risk of repeat offenses. Jane executes her anyway. Not just that, she makes sure to torture Bree, twice, entirely gratuitously:
“She’ll tell you anything you want to know,” Edward said through his teeth. “You don’t have to do that.”
Jane looked up, sudden humor in her usually dead eyes. “Oh, I know,” she said to Edward, grinning at him before she turned back to the young vampire, Bree. (Eclipse, page 333)
Even if the execution can be justified, the torture cannot. Jane abuses her power because she can, and there’s nothing the Cullens can do about it.
Then you have the fact that Bree had overheard a conversation between Jane and Victoria in which Jane gave Victoria explicit permission to take out the Cullens on the Volturi’s behalf. Bree replays this for Edward to hear before she dies, validating every paranoia he ever had about the Volturi. Just because he didn’t tell Bella, doesn’t mean he didn’t tell his family. He certainly would have told Carlisle and Alice.
Over the course of Eclipse, Carlisle sees the Volturi neglect to enforce their own law because culling his coven is a higher priority to them, torture and execute a mostly innocent vampire, and then he finds out that they made a deal with Victoria.
Not only would he be massively disillusioned by the Volturi, but by Aro himself. The man he met in Volterra was a lover of the arts and the academics and spoke of justice among vampires, and then Carlisle gets to experience first hand just what kind of justice this is. Aro was not the person he thought he was, and their old friendship doesn’t count for much either.
Look then to Breaking Dawn, where Carlisle has a vampiric child, but not an immortal one. Like Bree, he is innocent in all the ways that counted. This did not help Bree, and given the events of Eclipse (and remember only six months have passed), it won’t help him either. The Volturi have made it clear that they want to take out his coven, and whether or not the Cullens are actually innocent won’t matter.
The only way he can hope to slow them down, to force some kind accountability upon the Volturi (an accountability that might have preserved Bree’s life: she died because Jane had none), is to have there be witnesses to their trial.
And we get the clusterfuck called Breaking Dawn (or as I like to call it, Aro and Carlisle Break Up).
Relevant meta.
Edit 16th of April: Aro’s side of things
#you asked for bree and I gave you part one of several rants#how Carlisle and Aro broke up#believe me there will be more#in fact i'll just tag this one#aro/carlisle#because i'm fooling nobody#that's right people ask me anything and i'll go#... anyway here's how i'm bringing my ship into it-#carlisle cullen#bree tanner#jane#edward cullen#diego#aro#volturi#twilight#twilight meta#twilight renaissance#long post#Anonymous#ask#the eclipse debacle
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Which memphis mafia members do you consider reliable sources when it comes to Elvis?
this is a tricky question because i know opinions vary and accounts have notable discrepancies...it's difficult with everything surrounding elvis because it often feels like, to one degree or another, everybody was looking for a way to exploit their connections to him (not necessarily in a malicious way, though some definitely have done that, but just insofar as everybody relying on him and their stories and experiences with him financially and for other assorted reasons, as comments in this thread mention), and did so especially once he died and had no say in any of it. i have a lot of qualms with the total lack of hesitation in sharing intimate details about his life with the general public that go a bit far beyond explaining his character and experiences, and yet at the same time of course there's an insatiable curiosity and market for it because people want to know about him. it makes me think of the preface shared from june's book: “There have been lots of books written about Elvis Presley, of course, with probably as many personal memoirs among them as have attached to any other cultural figure or entertainer in history. Some have been spurious, a number seem to have been written out of little more than personal rancor, motivation has ranged from love to money to self-adumbration..."
i'm rambling, but sometimes it's difficult to sift out the people still looking after e and his personhood versus those using him for their gain. jerry i would count easily as one of the former, perhaps the most obvious choice there. maybe george klein and billy smith? perspectives range all over the place on charlie hodge, joe esposito, marty lacker, lamar fike, the stanleys, and even larry geller (despite elvis often being open and vulnerable/trusting with him in particular), to the point where i feel like we have to take everything with a grain of salt and be circumspect about individual subjectivity and agendas. red and sonny i struggle with for *multiple* reasons, and given what they did to him (and whoever the third one was involved with that book. god el i'm sorry sometimes i cannot keep track of all of your people...), i think it cut him to the core, from which he did not recover (and he didn't have time). but i also respect elvis' inherent generosity and kindness and forgiving qualities that he extended to the people he loved, even when he was hurt.
tl;dr ugh sorry this is not a particularly helpful answer because it involves so many factors and complicated people. tbh i'm probably not the best person to ask this because my little introvert self that cares more about elvis' humanity and artistry than some of the noise and chaos around him is way less informed about each of those guys as individuals. i do think they all loved him in their own ways, to one degree or another, but their usefulness and incentives in sticking by him could be mercurial. and e was far from perfect himself and i'm sure many aspects of being in that group were not easy, he was responsible for many of his choices, but he also had a retinue of people clinging to his lifestyle. it can be painful to observe how he had this mix of enablers and dependents around him as constant companions and everything still unraveled the way that it did.
edit: i went to the sub to see if i could find you a better/more comprehensive response quickly and still turned up a lot of dispute, but this comment speaks to some of it (also funny how some of the comments here use similar language to what i'd already written, i appreciate seeing those thoughts from others): Each has told their version of their story and of course each person is the hero of their own story, and many paint themselves as Elvis's One True Best Friend. Some, as you mention, had proper jobs, others were really, truly sycophantic hangers-on, some were true blue friends and brothers, and some would barely qualify as part of the "Memphis Mafia" at all - they just happened to be in the right place at the right time and latched on to what little time they had in his periphery. For most who care, I think it comes down to an individual by individual basis...Personally, I think more attention should really be placed on the artists, songwriters and creatives whose influence impacted Elvis's actual creative and commercial achievements and legacy. But people like hearing celebrity gossip, and Elvis fans have always been voracious to consume anything and everything they can about him. People also like picking sides and being in opposing tribes, even over the most petty shit. In our collective cultural grief over the loss of Elvis, trying to grasp onto anything and everything left that we could, we gave them all attention to hear them say nice things, and the media happily gave a platform to those who were willing to help tear Elvis down off the pedestal his fans put him on, too. I think, at the end of the day, people are looking for understanding about what happened. Many would like to take their sides and lay moral judgment on all of them and everything they've said or did, as though talking about who was or wasn't at fault for what happened would change things or help us understand what happened any better. But we weren't there, and never can go back and be there. Some were good, some were bad, some just happened to kinda be there because Elvis wanted or needed them for whatever reason. The only sure truth is that Elvis died regardless of all of them - which is a tragedy. And they're all just background characters who've taken up too much time on center stage. And now that most of them have left, I think it's about time to bring the curtain down.
#this is a bad response i apologize#idk the way he relied on that group because of the loneliness and isolation and yet still dealt with such loneliness and isolation... :(#sometimes i want to punch a lot of them in the face which. well. doesn't help either haha#anonymous#letterbox#elvis presley
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I’m really fixated on romance right now for some reason, so here we are with a soulmate reading. I’m of the belief that we don’t just have romantic soulmates but platonic and familial ones as well. However, for this reading, I am choosing to focus solely on romance.
I’m experimenting with a new format. I linked each of the readings to a google doc, this is mostly because they ended up being way longer than I’d anticipated (story of my life). I also thought that it might be more organized to do it this way. I’d appreciate feedback on whether or not I should keep doing it.

Piles to choose from:
Pile 1 - Cobra
Pile 2 - Fish
Pile 3 - Cheetah
Pile 4 - Zebra
Pile 5 - Hawk
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[Decks Used: Modern Witch Tarot, Wild Unknown Tarot, Wild Unknown Animal Spirit oracle, Tarot Cats, standard playing cards, and a homemade oracle deck]
This took me 10-11 hours to do, spread out across 3 days. So, if you can support my shop or donate I’d be grateful. Also, please excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes and small incoherencies, by the time I got around to editing the readings I was kind of over it.
My Shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/UrsaMinorTarot
CashApp: @UrsaMinorTarot
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Pile 1: Cobra
Who They Are:
Queen of Wands, 9 of Wands, 8 of Pentacles, King of Clubs
10 of Cups, 7 of Cups r, Justice r, 5 of Hearts
7 of Cups r, 9 of Pentacles r, 6 of Wands, 9 of Diamonds
Death r, 7 of Wands r, 8 of Wands r, Ace of Spades
The High Priestess, The Fool, The Hanged Man r, Ace of Hearts
Mother of Cups r
Winter+New Love
I’m getting some self-made energy here, they are likely a very hard worker who puts in a lot of time and energy. Their success, while appreciated, makes them feel very alone. There’s a lot of wands energy here, so they are generous with their money and it’s possible that other people take advantage of that. The Mother of Cups reversed reinforces this idea as she brings the message: “you give too much of yourself to others”.
The High Priestess, Fool, and Hanged Man being pulled together makes me think they function in two very different ways. Either, they overthink literally everything to the point of never making a decision, or they just do things very impulsively without a second thought.
They want a big, happy family, whatever that means to them. It could involve having children or just having a lot of pets. However, due to past relationships, they no longer feel as though they could trust anyone enough to live out that dream.
They feel disillusioned with love, which gives them a lot of conflicting emotions. Because, again, there’s a lot of wands energy, so they’re a very passionate person. Their current belief that love isn’t real is a direct contradiction to who they are at their core. Winter and new love could be taken literally, like you’ll meet and fall in love with them in the winter. Or, if you wanted to look deeper at it, it could mean that you help them get out of this place of being unable to consider love.
How You Can Recognize Them:
8 of Cups r, Son of Wands, 7 of Wands r, King of Diamonds
5 of Pentacles, Father of Cups, 3 of Swords, Jack of Hearts
The Devil r, The Fool, The Devil, 2 of Spades
10 of Pentacles, The High Priestess r, Queen of Hearts
The Hermit, 7 of Pentacles r, 10 of Cups r, 7 of Diamonds
Hanged man, 4 of Cups r, 10 of Diamonds r
“You’re having trouble getting in touch with your emotions”
“You’re not seeing clearly”
Ex
This person has an unmistakable light about them. Being with them is like sitting outside on a nice day soaking up the sun. However, they are still holding on to the past, and this is to their detriment. When you meet them, if you haven’t already, they will be extremely hung up on their ex. They are going to be obsessing over what went wrong and whether or not they can fix it. I can’t tell if they want to fix it to get back together with their ex, because they think it will give them closure, or because they think it will help them avoid making the same mistakes in their next relationship. But, they also don’t actually want to fix anything because that would mean confronting their emotions and they would really rather not. They will likely seem to be existing outside of reality, they are going to be so distracted by this internal conflict that they aren’t going to notice the world around them.
In all honesty, they will be very difficult for you to recognize. You’ll probably notice them because of their light, but you won’t (and shouldn’t) consider them a potential partner - at least not until they’ve dealt with their issues and moved on. I want to stress that while they are so focused on their past relationship(s), that’s not all they have going on. They are a 3 dimensional human being like the rest of us, but this is just the information I was able to get.
I also want to mention that their family is very important to them, they’re the type of person to call or text each member of their immediate family every day. I also get the impression that you two will be friends for a while before getting into a relationship.
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Pile 2: Fish
Who They Are:
Queen of Swords, 9 of Wands, 9 of Cups r, The Tower r, Jack of Spades
King of Swords, Daughter of Wands, 3 of Pentacles, 8 of Diamonds
Judgment r, 2 of Cups r, Daughter of Swords r, The Chariot r, 3 of Spades
5 of Pentacles, Temperance, 7 of Wands, Jack of Hearts
The Emperor, 8 of Pentacles, The Magician r, Ace of Wands, 4 of Spades
“I’m sorry”
Best friends
Between the Emperor and having all of the court cards of the Swords suit, this person has a very powerful presence. They’re almost the kind of person that makes people stop and stare, I say almost because they’re intimidating and people don’t want to be caught staring. Not intimidating in a scary way, they just - and I can’t stress this enough - exude power. They are also very ambitious and highly intelligent. So when they put their mind to something, they will execute it perfectly. Or, at least, they want people to think it was done perfectly. They have a very “everything’s under control” look to them, but they’re barely hanging on by a thread. I feel like one bad day would send them into an existential spiral, because they don’t know who they are if they’re not perfect.
Nothing’s ever come easily to them and they’ve had to fight their whole life to get the things that they have now. They’ve never had the option of giving up. If they gave up, they were worthless, they were nothing - that’s how they’ve always seen it. I imagine there’s a lot of parental pressure at play here. It’s turned them into a workaholic, there’s no work-life balance to be found. I’m getting the impression that the “I’m sorry” card has to do with this aspect of their life.
The “best friends” card speaks for itself. With the Jack of Hearts and Daughter of Wands, there’s a playful energy to them. But these are the only cards pointing this out, which tells me that they restrain this part of themself. I think that you being their friend, as well as their partner, will show them that they don’t need to be so serious all the time. This is something buried so deep it’ll need some time and energy to be coaxed out of them.
This is pretty obvious, but this person’s biggest fear is failure.
How You Can Recognize Them:
Knight of Wands r, 4 of Wands r, 8 of Cups, 9 of Swords
King of Pentacles, The Moon r, 7 of Swords r, Queen of Spades
5 of Pentacles, Mother of Swords, Queen of Wands, 4 of Hearts
Queen of Cups, Daughter of Swords r, Knight of Wands
7 of Cups r, Son of Swords, 4 of Pentacle, 5 of Diamonds
The World r, 9 of Wands r, 8 of Hearts r
You feel as if you aren’t getting the recognition you deserve
Seperation
We’re definitely seeing their more sensitive, playful aspects. However, these are still vastly overpowered by their Swords energy as, once again, all the court cards are out - the Queen’s out twice. Seriously, this person has such powerful energy that it’s the first thing you notice.
I feel like you’ll meet either at work or at school, somewhere where you’re working on a group project together. The people you’re working with aren’t going to take your contributions seriously. But, once they realize you’re right, they’ll claim they were their ideas all along. The Swords family is very fair-minded, so I think this person’s going to have a problem with that.
They have this very detached, uninterested persona and once you’ve spent time around your soulmate, you’re going to pick up on the fact that they are deeper than they want people to think they are. When they’re more comfortable with you, which will take some time, you might catch glimpses of them being competitive/hot-headed or they’ll start making jokes around you. If you’re patient enough, they’ll eventually be vulnerable with you.
They have a fear of the unknown and love is foreign to them, so this is definitely a slow-burn.
In both of these readings I got a wave of pretty interesting energy. It wasn’t anxiety or dizziness, but felt similar to both. I felt like I lost my balance, that’s probably how you'll make this person feel. They have a lot of plans for life and you’re not one of them, so they’ll be thrown for a loop.
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Pile 3: Cheetah:
Who They Are:
Page of Swords r, Son of Cups, The Hierophant, 9 of Clubs
Page of Wands, Mother of Wands r, Page of Cups r, 4 of Hearts
9 of Cups, The Tower, 2 of Swords, 2 of Cups, Ace of Clubs
Queen of Wands r, The Chariot r, Queen of Pentacles, 4 of Spades
Knight of Pentacles, Ace of Wands, Emperor r, 6 of Clubs
8 of Cups, King of Wands
You can’t help everyone
Over-investment in work
Aries
The first thing that I’m seeing is that this person will probably have some self-esteem issues. It seems to be tied to their abilities more so than appearance.
They have a lot of ideas for projects that they want to work on, but they never seem to start anything, let alone finish. I think this is because they try to be everything to everyone and don’t prioritize themself. They find contentment in the idea that everybody likes them, but this can make them a people pleaser. This can lead to them taking on long hours at work to make their boss happy. It’s also unrealistic because there’s not a person on Earth that’s universally liked. I think this is something they’ll come to realize in their own time.
They may come across as indecisive at times, they aren’t. They always know exactly what they want, but can have a hard time asserting themself.
There’s a fire that burns bright here, this person has a lot of drive and ambition. This is where that aries energy comes in, they don’t have to have aries placements so please don’t get fixated on that. But, like I said before, they hold themself back by prioritizing other people and neglecting their own needs. They have the potential to be really successful, however they need to start putting themself first.
This seems like a very sensitive individual, just the thought of doing something under-handed stresses them out. Which is a good thing for other people, because your soulmate’s very charming and could probably talk themself out of anything.
For some reason I get the impression that they have a bit of a sweet tooth.
How You Can Recognize Them:
2 of Swords r, The Empress, Queen of Cups, 3 of Hearts
9 of Pentacles r, Judgment r, The Moon, 10 of Spades
The Fool, Mother of Wands r, Hierophant r, Jack of Diamonds
The Chariot r, The Hermit, 4 of Wands, Joker B&W r
3 of Pentacles, 4 of Wands r, Knight of Wands, 4 of Spades
King of Cups r, The Magician r
You’re having trouble getting in touch with your emotions
September
Think before you speak
Let’s start with the reinforcements of their self-esteem issues, as well as their people pleasing tendencies. It’s exhausting for them, emotionally and physically. They are well and truly holding themself back, and I think that by the time you meet them they’ll be starting to examine these aspects of themself. This will be something they struggle with for a while and there may be a period of time where they withdraw to think things through.
The joker in black and white in standard decks is my fool reversed card, but it’s reversed so its the fool reversed reversed. The fool upright, I feel like there could have been a simpler way for my cards to get that message to me. But I also feel like it represents the way your person talks to themself, they make everything just a little bit more complicated than it needs to be. They think in circles, eventually getting to the point but it may take them a while. This may be a contributing factor to their perceived indecisiveness.
They want to make a home with you. I get the impression that when talking about it with you, they’ll appear to be cool and collected. Like it’s not a big deal to them. But then they’ll turn around and shout it from the rooftops. It won’t be possible for people to not know you’re together, they’ll just be so loud about it.
Outside of the need to make everybody like them, they’re a pretty care-free individual. It will be important to them that you have fun together. I think this playfulness is their most defining feature and probably the first thing people notice about them.
In the first two piles, it looked like they’d be friends for a while before getting into a relationship with their person. That’s not the case here, like I said before, when this person knows, they know. They’re not going to waste time with you.
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Pile 4: Zebra
Who They Are:
The Fool, The Hanged Man, Queen of Swords, Ace of Clubs
6 of Swords r, 2 of Wands, The Hanged Man, Ace of Hearts
Ace of Cups, Mother of Pentacles r, 4 of Wands, Jack of Spades,
3 of Swords r, The Magician, 10 of Pentacles, Queen of Cups r, Jack of Diamonds
3 of Cups, The High Priestess, Strength, The Fool r, King of Spades
Soulmate
Hostile
May
The first thing I’m picking up on is that your soulmate is someone who is very carefree. They also have a lot of romantic energy to them, so they are definitely a hopeless romantic.
The amount of Major Arcana here tells me that this person is likely very spiritually gifted, they might not be consciously aware of this.
This person is kind of a go-getter. Once they decide they want something, nothing’s getting in their way.
There are some conflicting energies here because as happy and carefree as they are, there’s an equal amount of pain and hardship. This is someone who’s faced a lot of hostility, so at first will be fairly guarded. They love the idea of being in love, but have difficulties opening themself up to the reality of love. It’s not all bad, they are making an active effort to heal and not let past heartbreak hold them back.
With the Magician and High Priestess facing each other, this is someone who is likely very in touch with their spirituality. Not only are they able to trust their intuition, but they also have everything that they need to follow it. Once they have a gut feeling about something, whatever it is, they will trust it more than they’ll trust you, and be right 90% of the time.
They are very compassionate and probably are used to giving more than they take, which gets them taken advantage of. Part of their growth is going to be finding a balance in this aspect of their life.
This is someone who values family and most likely wants some kind of family unit, whether that be having children or pets.
The month of May might be important, it could be when you meet or one of you could be a Taurus or a Gemini.
How You Can Recognize Them:
Ace of Cups, 3 of Pentacles r, 8 of Wands, 2 of Swords
Page of Cups, Justice r, 5 of Cups, 7 of Clubs
King of Pentacles, 10 of Cups, Strength r, 2 of Diamonds
2 of Pentacles r, 9 of Cups r, Queen of Wands, King of Diamonds
Death, The Hierophant, Page of Wands, 9 of Spades
Sensitive
Peaceful
There’s still time to change your mind.
One of their prominent characteristics is their sensitivity. This doesn’t mean that they’re crybabies, they are just very mindful of everybody's feelings. This paired with what we learned about the painful parts of their past probably makes them a little insecure. This insecurity is only a problem when it comes to relationships. They may come across as very confident and flirty, but as soon as it moves past that they start clamming up and getting nervous. It could be bad enough that they have a hard time believing that you actually want to be with them.
They invest a lot of time into their projects, whether work related or personal. It’s likely that they struggle with finding a work-life balance. This is someone who needs to feel productive at every moment of the day. They keep themself busy so that they don’t need to be alone with their thoughts. This isn’t someone that knows peace. It is something they’d like to experience, but they don’t know how to. They have too many thoughts and can’t quiet their mind, their inner-demons get the best of them at times. This isn’t something they express outwardly though, everyone around them probably sees them as someone who, while busy, is fairly laid back. They need a lot of guidance here so if you’re someone who meditates, this could be something you help them with.
It’ll be easiest for you to recognize them based on their sensitivity and active lifestyle. They will be extremely helpful to their friends and family, and would drop everything to be there if needed. They are also, surprisingly down-to-earth.
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Pile 5: Hawk
Who They Are:
5 of Cups, Judgment, Queen of Wands, Queen of Spades
Knight of Wands r, 10 of Wands r, 5 of Pentacles r, 3 of Diamonds
7 of Cups r, The Fool r, 10 of Pentacles, King of Spades
2 of Swords r, 9 of Cups, 3 of Cups r, 3 of Spades
The High Priestess r, 3 of Pentacles, Magician r, 9 of Diamonds
“You’re my everything.”
You need to hold yourself to more reasonable standards.
This is someone with a lot of pain, they are overwhelmed and feel defeated. I’m getting the impression that it has to do primarily with work/co-workers. It could be that they put a lot of themself into their work and seem to always get passed up for promotions, or they could have even been recently laid off. They’re very ambitious and intelligent, so if they did get laid off, it would be a big hit to their ego. Alternatively, they could have almost reached a long-standing dream, only for it to fall apart at the last second.
Your soulmate has a lot of fiery passion that they don’t always know what to do with, so they turn everything into a competition. The thing is, they’re only competing with themself. They’re always trying to be better than they were yesterday, even when it’s unrealistic.
As passionate as they are, they can be very patient when it comes to getting what they want. They know that not everything can be rushed, even if that’s frustrating to them. They try to avoid making reckless mistakes, but sometimes this can lead to them not making decisions in a timely manner.
They value family and friends greatly, this could be the most important part of their life to them. They’ll test you to see if you can gain the approval of their loved ones. If you don’t, they may begin to have second thoughts. This is a soulmate though, so you’ll likely be very compatible and win everyone over with relative ease.
How You Can Recognize Them:
5 of Pentacles, The Moon, 4 of Swords, 5 of Clubs
King of Pentacles, Judgment, 5 of Swords r, King of Wands r, 7 of Diamonds
2 of Swords r, Daughter of Pentacles, 5 of Pentacles r, 3 of Clubs
Temperance r, Son of Wands r, High Priestess r, 7 of Swords r, Jack of Clubs
6 of Swords r, The Tower r, Page of Pentacles r, 5 of Hearts
You are not seeing clearly
Hesitant
When You meet this person, they will be coming out of a very rough period of their life. They are going to be at the start of their healing journey and they won’t have a lot of time or energy for romance. They’re likely very hard on themself, they don’t want to be seen as weak so they don’t express negative emotions. This is something they have to confront in order to heal.
They are going to be in a complicated headspace, there’s going to be difficulty separating the past from the present, and there’s not a lot of balance between their spiritual and physical lives. They either reject the spiritual to embrace the material world, or neglect their physical well-being and focus solely on their spiritual self.
You know how some people use their trauma as an excuse to inflict pain on others? This person’s the opposite of that, everything they’ve gone through has made them a patient, compassionate person. This will probably be one of the first things you notice about them, how kind they are. They are also very dependable, they’ve experienced going through hard times alone and don’t want anyone else to feel like they have to.
Overall, they come across as a very good human being, but there’s an underlying tiredness to them. They might be dealing with a little bit of brain fog, so at times they’re slow to process the world around them.
#tarot#tarot reader#tarot reading#tarot pick a card#tarot decks#tarot cards#tarotblr#oracle decks#oracle cards
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Your reblog speaking of perfect first drafts made me go into breakdown mode! How about people that do write almost perfect first drafts? Fic writers I follow and say they wrote 10k words in a day and then polished it in 2 hours and they’re ready to POST something ??? For people to read ??? And it turns out pretty great ??!? How do they do that??? It literally depresses me, maybe because English is not my first language (or I let myself believe that’s the reason), but it takes WEEKS for me, working on a 5k words draft almost every day, and I still think it’s flawed and keep editing after I posted... I love writing, it’s the only time I feel like I’m accomplishing something in life, which is stupid but whatever... I don’t know if I’m really slow or a weird perfectionist, sorry for venting like this ohmygod. Anyway I so understand Shizuku crying after pouring her heart out on that draft she wrote, I believe we do have gems inside of us but I also wish it were easier, or that I didn’t feel like it’s easier for everybody else except for me.
IF YOU FIND OUT LET ME KNOW LOL!! I’ve been really struggling with that “it’s easier for everyone but me” feeling too so unfortunately I can’t tell you for sure how to beat it, but I can tell you you’re far from stupid or weird 💜↓
Writing, at least in the way I view it, is already translation! You're taking thoughts and feelings and images and trying to pin them down with just the right words so other people can see and understand it — it’s a lot like drawing that way. That already feels restrictive in your first language (I always feel like I'm "settling" by using words to express myself), so writing in English is naturally going to contribute to a longer drafting time — you're translating twice!
Now as someone who only writes in her first language and ALSO takes forever (note how long it took me to respond to this lol), I can tell you that the importance you’re placing on your work is also contributing. You see your writing as an extension of yourself. No shame in that, that makes you a writer! But it also makes imperfection and criticism more devastating. Because writing has the potential to be perfect until it’s written and published, you go back and edit and edit hoping to get closer to it. The fact you can identify areas of improvement after posting shows that you’re learning and growing and becoming an even better writer, so don’t chastise yourself for feeling the urge to edit. BUT ALSO (and this is very much a “do as I say, not as I do” recommendation ;)) if you want to be a faster writer, you have to apply what you’ve learned from your past mistakes to your future work instead of endlessly picking at your current work.
You know that Uncle Iroh quote? “Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame.” Changed my life, genuinely. I always thought being extra critical of my work made me humble. But really, it’s more akin to shame. Like you, I feel like writing is the key to really accomplishing something, and expecting myself to always put out perfect work is pretty prideful isn’t it? I don’t hold other people to that same standard, and I suspect you don’t either, which may be why you see others’ day-long work as great while feeling your weeks-long work is unpolished. When we let go of the expectation that our work will be 100% every time, it’s easier to put our work out there as it is and move on to other projects.
Now this is all from my personal reflection and experience, but I hope you can take something away from it 💜 Writing is hard! And regardless of how long it’s taking you, you should be proud of yourself for doing it!
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This last anon you answered got me thinking about why so many of us keep going back to twitter, even when we openly admit to feeling better after taking long breaks, or call it toxic or are affected by w/e the drama of the week (day?) happens to be. I'm sorry if this seems out of place, but since this is neither the first nor second time you bring up these issues, I figured I might as well share my thoughts here with you.
I can only speak from my own experience, so I'm sure what I'm about to say doesn't apply to everyone. I'm sure a lot of people manage to find great friends over there and enjoy the best that twitter has to offer. In fact, most days I feel like I do a decent job at filtering what I pay attention to over there. But still, there are days, those really bad, depressing, 'the world sucks and I just wanna escape it for a bit' days, when I feel myself being pulled into whatever bad spiral is going on at the moment. Yesterday was one of those, tbh, and I had to stop and ask myself why? Why do I still feel the need to keep going back to a site that more often than not leaves me feeling anxious and upset?
The answer isn't very flattering, tbh, and I might regret sharing this here, but I realized it's not the tweets or the likes or the mentions I'm craving. It's just, you know, somewhere to share my love for these characters/shows with other ppl like me. And that's where y'all tumblr ppl come in and say "why, join us over here where it's calmer and friendlier and slower." I believe you, Leah, because your blog is the perfect example of that. It's such a pure, honest representation of the very best sides of fandom, and you know it's true, since you're always drowning in asks lol. But, damn, it's not quite for me... Maybe it's bc I'm not much of a visual person, so gifs and pictures don't really grab my attention for long? Or, more likely, it's bc it takes time and dedication to shape a blog, and the sheer anxiety I feel every time I decide to put anything out into the wild west that is the internet makes it much easier to do so in short bursts of 280 characters or less. Idk...
Whatever the case may be for other twitter users who, like me, keep using twitter even when it makes them anxious, I have to believe that at least a few of them share my desire for connection. And it sucks that I've been there for months, and the 'friendships' I made are superficial at best. But from the little I gathered from observing other users, many many people feel alienated or left out while 'everyone else is friends with each other'. Some people really are, probably, but it's really hard to tell when we're all 'besties' forever reacting to the latest piece of news that just dropped, be it real or fabricated, don't ya think?
I'm sorry for this rant and for how long it ran... I guess I just wanted somewhere to go a bit more in depth about the seemingly neverending chaos, what with the way it often ends up making it's way to your asks, regardless of your advice to just. not. go. there.
---
This is a submission from @unusualcliches
First I want to thank you for sharing this with me friend. I'm really glad you felt comfortable enough to come here and talk bc it's important that we have places where we can say what's on our mind.
And I wanna apologize, bc I was sort of flippant with my comment about staying off Twitter. I wanna make it very clear I don't hold anything against the people who prefer to use it and I'm not actually recommending that no one go there. Everybody is looking for different things and has different ways of engaging and of course people are gonna have preferences, and those preferences are gonna vary from mine, and that's ok!!
We all want community and Twitter does offer that more easily. I said this in a moment that got edited out of the podcast but I can't imagine trying to get started on Tumblr now. I have made some profound, life changing relationships here, but that took work, and time. I've been shaping my blog for over a decade. Starting from scratch now feels like a herculean task and I totally understand why this platform wouldn't suit everybody's needs.
I am not gonna advocate for people continuing to use social media if it's negatively impacting them, if it's generating feelings of anxiety or isolation, but I am also not gonna judge you or anyone for continuing to do so bc we all do things we maybe shouldn't, or that aren't good for us, big or small, all the time. It's human. It's understandable. We see something that we want, that maybe could be good for us, and we keep coming back in the hope that even if it wasn't good to us the last time, it will work out now. I'm not gonna fault you for that.
Twitter has the ability to connect people quickly, easily, openly; it is much, much easier to find people there. But bc it moves so fast, it's hard to make those connections last. There are people there who post these pictures and share these stories and have clearly found their in-group and that's wonderful! But it's rare. It's rare here, too, rare anywhere; it's a needle in a haystack, really, finding the person or persons out of such a big group who will be your people. You send a lot of DMs that don't go anywhere before you find the one that sticks. But bc Twitter is so public, I think we see more of those connections than you see here on Tumblr. On Twitter it's so visible, you see "oh it's possible to find your people here, look they did it" but you don't see all the times it didn't work out. Like Instagram; you're seeing the shiniest parts of people's lives and not the work it took to get there.
All this to say, it's completely understandable that you feel this way, and I won't blame you for going back even if it's burned you before. It's an act of hope, really. I make the choice not to spend a lot of time there, but that's my choice for myself, and it's not up to me to make that choice for anyone else. I hope you do get something good out of it.
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I’ve recently taken up fallout 4 based photography after getting inspired by your blog.
However, I’ve noticed that my photos experience a notice dip in sharpness and quality if I edit them (such as to make more centred). I suspect it’s probably a compression issue but wondering if you’ve encountered similar problems
Hey, thanks for the ask! I'm absolutely delighted to hear that someone was inspired by my work, and I would love to see it sometime if you'd ever like to send it my way.
Unfortunately, just about any time you alter or save an image in a JPEG format (the default for Steam screenshots), there will be some compression. Most websites such as facebook, instagram, and tumblr also tend to compress their images upon upload as well, which can be pretty frustrating at times.
If you're doing any heavy editing or screenarchery, here are some of my personal recommendations:
Avoid saving or altering the same image multiple times - instead make each save a new file, such as "screenshot-2, screenshot-3", ect. This will also allow you to compare different versions, or revert back to an older version if necessary.
Saving the image as a PNG, rather than a JPEG - this will result in less compression. However, the downside is that the file size will be pretty big, so it will take longer to upload, and can sometimes take longer to load on slower computers.
If you are doing anything to alter the original size of the image such as zooming or cropping: I highly recommend trying to keep the image the same aspect ratio. Or at least try to stick to one of the more common aspect ratios (such as 16:9, 4:3, ect). This seems to reduce some of the quality issues when uploading to a website.
If you still want to use JPEG, I recommend using Photoshop (which is fairly easy to acquire a legitimate copy of, recommend using a VPN just in case) and choosing the "High" quality option when prompted. I personally use around 8, and haven't seen any noticeable drops in quality.
Bumping up the in-game shadow/lighting quality or using an ENB can also be useful, as it can help "soften" some of the sharper edges, and reduce pixellation.
I also rely on a lot on in-game mods such as iHUD, which will allow you to hide or toggle menu elements such as the compass when not in use, and reduce the need to crop or edit many images almost entirely.
As stated previously however, any kind of alteration will still affect the image quality in some way. For that reason, recently I have been trying to avoid zooming or cropping my images almost entirely, and have mostly been relying on Photoshop to remove any unnecessary or distracting elements. But I know that's not an option for everybody.
Anyway, sorry for the text wall, but I hope this helps! Note that I am only speaking from personal experience, and am hardly a professional. So if there's anyone out there who knows more about photography than me, feel free to correct me or add to this post.
#i apologize for the super late response#apparently tumblr decided not to notify me of this message#faq#anon asks#asks#2021#wasteland-photography#film workshop
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Audio
Playlist Feels
*SHORT SERIES
Part 1: Church
Part 2: Do It For Me
Member: i’ve typed this name so many times in the last two weeks but i’m not tired of it: LEE JUYEON
Genre: SMUT AGAIN BEC WHY NOT
A/N: i really need to consider drinking holy water and bathing myself in it after i’m done with this series i feel like i’ve sinned more writing this than ANYTHING else i’ve ever written
“no mercy”
“am i expecting to be running into you in some random hallway in new york?” lee juyeon calls out to you just as you get into a cab at the airport.
the sun was shining but the wind was cold, the airport already slightly desolate because everybody who was on your flight was already long gone. you had just been stuck in the building making phone calls to your agent who was supposed to pick you up, but didn’t.
you turn and let his eyes roam up and down your body with a look you don’t recognise. they looked like they yearned for you, but in a different way.
but your relationship with this man was purely sexual.
you didn’t even know his name until he announced it over the PA in the plane.
“i’m afraid you’re not going to, captain,” you give him a weak smile, the effort needed to speak to him drained you in that instant. “i’m staying here for awhile.”
the cab driver loads your luggage into the boot, the sudden, loud ‘bang’ startling you a little. your attention returns to the pilot, who looked a little less than satisfied with your answer.
“it was fun while it lasted,” you pull open the car door and throw your bag in. “thank you for beating me at my own game, and making me want to make sure nobody else does.”
you give him one last smile of mischief, one that he probably found familiar, before getting into the car. the door shuts on your pull, and you give the driver the address to your hotel.
you shoot the pilot one last glance just as the vehicle moves off, and that was the last time you saw him.
~~~~~~~~~ ONE YEAR LATER ~~~~~~~~~
“there’s no way in hell that’s her,” sunwoo leans into hyunjun, arms crossed tightly across his chest, eyes fixed on you. “are you sure you didn’t pick up the wrong person at the airport?”
hyunjun winces in disgust at his false statement. “i picked up the wrong person? you were literally standing right next to me when she walked out of the arrival hall.”
“maybe we swapped her out for someone else.”
“well, i mean...” hyunjun looks at you and rubs the back of his neck in hesitation. “at least now we know she can take more vodka before she passes out.”
you down your nth shot of vodka, but it doesn’t faze you at all. despite the loud, annoying music, you hear every single word that sunwoo and hyunjun just said. though your chest and throat were on absolute fire, anybody could give you a script or document and you’d still be able to edit it like you spent your entire year in new york doing.
“and on top of that,” you finish your glass of water to reduce the burning in your throat. “you don’t have to worry about me throwing up.”
you raise a shot at them and lift an arrogant brow. sunwoo purses his lips and looks on as if he was watching a violent movie, leaning back into hyunjun while you down the shot like it was nothing.
working in new york was so satisfying, both career-wise and personally. you were doing nothing but what you loved the entire year and you came back at least two positions higher than what you were when you left. not to mention the experience and the connections you’ve made at it; it was one that was unrivaled.
all those meetings and bonding with your colleagues and people of similar career backgrounds came drinking. you drank so much in new york, you were worried you’ll never be able to get drunk here, and it seemed like the case.
there was only one thing that stuck in the back of your head like an annoying tick, and that was your complete withdrawal from your sex life.
the reason?
you were afraid you were going to be disappointed with anybody you slept with after lee juyeon.
the man who beat you at your own game.
so much for making sure nobody else beats me at my own game.
“even if you don’t get drunk, the amount of alcohol you’re ingesting is going to kill you,” sunwoo’s eyes were half-hooded, but his face says nothing less than worried.
“i’m not going to get killed by alcohol, what a shitty way to go,” you snort and take another shot, shifting yourself out of the seat to drag your friends to the dance floor.
your arms were already stretched out in a bid to grab onto sunwoo, but someone walks straight into you from the side.
the weight pushes you off balance and you stumble a little, but you recover quickly only to realise that half your shirt was soaked in what looked like... cocktail?
“shit! i’m sorry--”
“no, it’s fine! no problem... dude.”
your eyes lock with your assailant, and something similar to nostalgia rushes through you.
“juyeon.”
the name rolls off your tongue the moment you process those eyes.
those eyes that kept you away from hooking up with anybody the entire year you were in new york.
he was just as shocked and surprised as you were, if not more. there was a glimmer in his eyes, and you could almost sense that he already knew you weren’t the same person you were when you slept with him. he started trying to read you, and you couldn’t believe that fate decided the two of you should meet again.
“i--”
“is there anything i can get you, sweetie?”
your eyes dart to look at the bar girl who’s come up with a rag. she gets on the floor and starts wiping, and her boobs looked like they were going to fall out of her tiny tube top. juyeon opens his mouth agape and grabs onto her shoulders, pulling her up from the floor and telling her it’s fine.
you watch with confusion as a flirtatious look overcomes the bar girl once she notices juyeon’s face. you suck your lips in between your teeth, eyes trailing juyeon’s arms as they grab onto the bar girl and continues convincing her that he didn’t need her to get on her knees. you notice sunwoo and hyunjun’s eyes glued to the situation like they were watching television.
the moment drags longer than you’d expect, and given the way he was looking at her now, you were almost on the verge of breaking out into scoffs.
is he trying to make me jealous by flirting with her?
you wipe the tiny smile off your face and turn to the booth, sliding yourself in and completely ignoring the flirt session happening outside.
“sunwoo,” you down another shot. he tears his eyes away from juyeon and the bar girl, and gives you his attention. “do me a favour and make out with me.”
he immediately frowns, obviously refusing to comply. “what? no.”
“it’s not gonna hurt,” you turn and grab a fist full of sunwoo’s shirt in your hand. the bold movement causes sunwoo’s eyes to shoot wide open, and you could feel juyeon’s eyes on your back as you leaned into your friend.
“you’ve lost your fucking mind--” you don’t bother with his words, and you shove your lips onto his, deliberately letting out low moans while sunwoo tries his best to keep up with your aggressive kissing. you open one eye, completely unfazed that you were eating sunwoo’s face, and you see hyunjun trying his best not to laugh at sunwoo’s demise.
releasing the cotton of his shirt, and you lift your arms in attempt to wrap around his neck, only to be abruptly, almost violently, torn away from sunwoo by your waist. a familiar hand wraps around your arms and pulls you out of the booth.
juyeon comes between you and the booth, his eyes now dark and filled with anger. you smirk and wipe the corner of your mouth with your thumb, looking past him and at sunwoo, who had your lipstick smudged all over his face.
“what was that for?” he nearly growls, and his tone pokes a funny bone in you. it felt great to be in complete control, knowing that you weren’t drunk and you no longer had to live with a double personality.
“for fun,” you lick your lips and glare up into his eyes. you swore you heard something snap, and within a flash, he gives you a smile you haven’t seen in a long, long time.
“you want fun?” he turns around and points to your handbag, cuing hyunjun to awkwardly hand it over to him. juyeon fumbles in some pocket and pulls out a name card, leaving it on the table behind him. you could never forget his grip on your skin, so when the skin of his hands wrap around your wrists, you struggle to stifle a low chuckle.
“i’ll show you fun.”
juyeon drags you away from the booth, and you watch with arrogant glee when sunwoo and hyunjun nearly snatch for the name card. their eyes widen in disbelief, and from afar, you could see the airline company logo on it.
the end-of-winter iciness in the air sent chills down your spine, the only thing balancing the shivers out was the warm hold he was providing to your wrists over your long-sleeved top.
he pulls the door of the passengers’ seat for you, but an idea pops up into your head. so before he could get it completely open, you slam it shut, and you raise a cocky brow at him.
anxiety fills your veins when you remember it’s been a year you’ve slept with someone, and it just so happened that he was the last person you slept with. without reading his expression, you pull him over to the drivers seat and pull open the door, hands finding his shoulders to push him in.
you could tell he was a little confused, but he quickly grasps onto the situation when you crawl on top of him and close the door. the impact shakes the entire car, and your legs somehow find enough space to straddle his lap.
you look down, hands already on his shoulders, and you let yourself digest the sight of his jeans hugging his thighs and his already-growing crotch.
“missed me?” you smile widely at him, feeling somewhat strange knowing that it wasn’t your drunk self talking. he blinks in pleasant surprise, his hot palms dragging themselves from your knees to your thighs and over your black leggings.
if you knew you would be seeing him today, you wouldn’t have been in this fit. white long-sleeved top, maroon skirt and stockings. it only made everything harder.
“i can’t tell if you’re drunk or you’ve changed,” his hands travel under your skirt and harshly squeeze the flesh of your ass. your chin angles itself upwards to the roof of the car, and you lick your lips from the sudden movement, returning your attention back to him.
“oh, i’m not drunk,” you press your left hand flat against the back of his neck, slowly leaning forward. “but that makes it all the more fun.”
the small space forces the two of you to be pressed against each other like you were trapped in a shrinking box, and you could already feel the heat between the two of you while your tongues were already fighting each other.
his hands were so hungry that they wandered up and down your back, occasionally caressing your waist, then squeezing your ass, before dragging it back up to play with the hook of your bra over your shirt.
his tongue was already trying to force itself between your lips, and you struggle a little to find some kind of memory of how to win this game, but you fail. he shoves his wet muscle into yours, pushing your tongue back in your own mouth.
you could already feel the air seeping out of your lungs in the midst of the aggressive making out, and you couldn’t even begin to anchor the sensation of his growing manhood you were sitting on.
he senses your lack of breath and pulls away, a string of saliva dragging itself between your tongues before it finally snaps.
“you are different,” he huffs, dragging out movements under your skirt and tugging on your stockings so he was sure you were well aware of what he was doing. “but you’re not any better.”
his words strike a major chord in you, and you gasp in genuine shock when he rips your stockings. the sound of the cloth tearing apart brings that demonic smile to his lips.
the cold air kisses the skin of your ass and your inner thighs, and you glare at him when you realise the tear was pretty fucking extensive.
“good,” he slips a finger under your underwear from the back and finds your wet entrance. “you’re annoyed.”
you grit your teeth in a bid to hide the hiss that was about to escape your mouth when he shoves a finger into you. the sensation naturally pushes you to lift yourself off him by your knees, but he only shoves you back down onto his finger by digging his nails into your hips.
you lean forward, feeling your own neediness pool around his finger and you rest your forehead into his collarbone. your nails find his shoulders, and you choose to zero-in your attention on his neck.
he pushes a second finger into you, and you mask your moan by sucking on his neck. a growl rumbles in the back of his throat, and he picks up the pace in return.
you pull away from his neck, admiring the little spot you’ve made on him in revenge for tearing your clothes. but he captures your lips with his, his fingers still pumping in and out of your south.
he abruptly breaks away and shoves your juices into his own mouth, the sight sending you over some crazy edge you forgot even existed. his dry fingers find your chin and pull you back towards him again, and he invites you to start another power fight between your lips. your palms were pressed flat against his chest, and you could feel his arms fumbling around his own waist, and the sound of a belt coming undone was like music to your ears.
you’ve long lost the fight in your mouth and he explores your taste for the second time now while his hands anchors around your hips. you feel his fingers push your underwear aside again, and not a second passes before you feel his wet, throbbing muscle under you.
“is this your definition of fun?” you huff between harsh kisses, the sounds of your lips detaching and attaching again filling the car.
“oh, no,” he smirks and slowly pushes you down on him. soft whines of pleasure escape your throat despite the consistent kissing, and you feel him stretching your walls again for the first time in one year. “this is just the appetizer.”
the feeling of him completely filling you was so overwhelming, you couldn’t stop yourself from breaking the kiss and looking down. you press your forehead into his shoulder, allowing yourself some time to get used to his size.
not because he was monstrously large or anything, but because it’s been a year.
you could feel him throbbing inside you, and despite the lack of movement, you were already going crazy in your gut.
not only did you miss the feeling of sex, you missed the thrill of having him inside you.
his hands find the back of your thighs and lift you up slowly, before pushing you back down into his lap. it sends intense drills of shock and bliss throughout your entire body, and you start to whine and mewl when his hands start to roll up your top.
he pulls you closer to him and the pushed-up material of your shirt covers your view of him, but he doesn’t let you rest. his hands manage to unhook your bra to loosen the cups around your breasts, and the feeling of his tongue swirling around your hardening tips throws your head back.
his hand harshly grips on your ass again, commanding you to move.
you couldn’t help but to feel like the biggest loser alive when you start to move your hips according to his request, and he starts sucking on your breast like a newborn baby.
the entire car was jerking along with your little bounces and grinding, and you could feel the vibrations of his moans and groans from his throat and into your chest. it drives you insane and you throw your head back in complete ecstacy when you start to smell nothing but sex.
you start to feel the glass rod forming in your core, and it felt so unrealistically nostalgic for you. your whines and mewls become sharper and more desperate, and he notices your pace was slowing down because you were much more closer to your high.
his fingers dig into the flesh of your waist to hold you down, and you can’t help but to continuously grind your hips around his manhood. he pulls away from your breast and returns his attention to your lips, lewd noises leaving his throat and into your mouth when your grinding only gets messier and out of rhythm.
the glass rod shatters, and you bite on his lip by accident when your orgasm hits, the unfamiliar, but blissful sensation spreading through you. after a few thrusts in a bid to help you ride out your high, he hugs your waist and pulls you off his lap, the emptiness finishing with a soft ‘pop’ when his soaked shaft springs out of you.
he holds you close to himself, your knees propping you up while you hug his head to your chest.
you hear his strained moans and grunts, so you assume he lifted you up because he didn’t want to come inside you.
his chest rises and sinks against your stomach, and you could feel your own wetness slowly trickling down the inside of your thighs, soaking the ripped edges of your torn stockings.
his arms were still wrapped around your waist, and you rest your chin on the crown of his head, trying to catch your own breath.
after you calmed down, you lean back against his firm hold and he was careful not to let you sit on him again. your eyes lock with his, and you were stunned to note that he didn’t look like he just had car sex.
his eyes were wide open, and they looked even clearer than before.
“what kind of a fucking demon are you?” you tiredly scoff, dragging your thumb across his lower lip.
he flashes his demonic smile at you again, eyes digging into your soul with no tinge of mercy.
“the kind that isn’t done with you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 4: Heaven
A/N: after this series i’m packing up and leaving
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