#(don’t get me started on being perceived as a woman okay)

[chaosnojutsu]

[sodacowboy]

watched the new jordan theresa video and it got me thinking about how people perceive me in public

[velvetvexations]

I’m. So baffled by that one dude saying that trans men being able to pretend to be women is a privilege, because in his tags he says that it’s a thing specific to transmascs. Does he mean pretending to be cis as a means of safety is a transmasc specific thing?? Because uh, I’m… pretty sure that’s something that can be done regardless of a trans person’s gender? There are transfems and nonbinary people who can also pretend to be cis [whatever their agab was], too?

Its also not a privilege. Having to hide what you are out of fear isn’t a fucking privilege lmao

strangely people understand that when it's about trans women

just saw a post on my dash saying "'infighting' is a dogwhistle which frames transfems as aggressors". i really hope the tide is turning like you said, bc this shit is getting exhausting and im still seeing it from random people i follow who otherwise gave no indication that they drank the koolaid.

they make me out to be the aggressor all the time!

Nazi imagery anon here

These are the pics I was referring to.

As you can see it’s posted on the verified border security account and you can see two different nazi symbols on him :(

yeah it looks like standards for what they allow soldiers to adorn themselves with are low and the person taking and posting the pics aren't paying good enough attention because that guy also straight up has a naked anime bitch on his knife sheath

as I said this is an individual thing and they need to start knocking their heads together like the Three Stooges and sending them into trenches first

You know who saying that th**fab is actually a storied term that trans fems have been using to identify transmisogonists is fucking insane like girl that's such obvious lie give us nothing

they aren't even trying

It’s crazy how almost every other day on this site I see a new post with like 50k notes talking about how absolutely NOBODY deserves to be harassed, sent death threats or be put on blast yet once again I’m seeing people trying to justify the harassment of another transmasc teenager. Honestly people should just start openly admitting Tumblr is becoming increasingly hostile towards trans masculine individuals, I don’t see clownery on this level on any other platform-

Tumblr...is really bad.

I think the reason why this whole headcanons discourse bothers me so much is that is really is just fuelled by petty spite. Like all these characters are cisgender in canon. We make headcanons because it’s FUN to expand on characters in ways that reflect our different life experiences in whatever form that may take. Intentionally going after transmascs, especially young transmascs, for doing this with characters like they like and accusing them of all these different things genuinely does just feel like bigotry. Who cares if a head canon may not make the most amount of sense? It’s a cisgender fictional character we’re playing around with! Why does it have to be some grand act of activism to say blorbo number 3 is transmasc? We have much bigger fish to fry here.

exactly it's such dedication to not letting anyone else have anything

So sick of people acting like trans men are the same as cis men under the patriarchy and moreso im really sick of the "you're privileged to not be surrounded by men". Like, for lack of better phrasing, saying that about a group of people that is generally perceived as "failure women" pre transition (and sometimes during and post) is a little tone deaf. All about acknowledging how women and people perceived as women are harmed by misogyny until the ones perceived are men. Gender essentialism is ugly and tasteless and nonsensical. Please feel free to delete this im just rambling without a point

rambling is okay anon <3

„wow ur so privileged to not fear men”

i fear the fucking everyone asshole, i just realized that isnt everyone elses fault so i should still treat them with respect !!!!!

that woman called me a "self-hating doll" and I hate the second part a lot more than the first

[neighbourscat]

౨౿ nicholas chavez who visits his black!girlfriend at abbott elementary — he’s startled by the documentary crew, almost dropping the box of rainbow-sprinkled donuts and container of chocolate-chip cookies he’d brought for your kindergarten students; today was move-up day and you asked him if he could use a few hours of his day-off and drop off their treats to congratulate. after he’s given an ‘abbott elementary visitors badge’, he’s dragged through the bustling hallways — walls decorated in brilliant hand-made drawings and banners, the noisy chatter of students, and the hustle of teachers — and into an empty classroom for a confessional; “wha .. what am i suppose to say here?” nicholas asked, adjusting the box of donuts and container of cookies . .. . he blinked into the camera lens, the grin on his face crooked, sheepish, and the look in his eyes that of a scared child.

౨౿ nicholas chavez who spots your classroom, room 220, and hurried toward it — the camera crew and principal ava coleman, heels clicking loudly, behind him — the sound of young laughter, meaningless conversations, and chairs scraping the floor growing louder. the door was slightly ajar, and through the small opening, he could see you — ms. y/l/n to the young humans — standing at the front of room, talking animatedly to your class of kindergartners. your smile lit up the space, and your long, knotless braids swung as you gestured toward the main entrance and exit.

nicholas smiled to himself, watching you in your element. this was the side of you he admired so much — the way you commanded the room full of children, the warmth you exuded when you taught or played around. he gripped the doorknob and- “me personally . .. . i would’ve just walked with me to the gymnasium.” his brown eyes found the camera lens again, letting the crew capture his frustrated expression. “look, there’s still time before those goblins actually start lining up -“ ava pleaded, “i’m telling you - you and i leave now, we can still make brunch at reno’s.”

nicholas stared at the crew again, begging them to do ‘something’, and then down at ava. “who watches these .. things?” he asked the principal, releasing the doorknob — he turned his body to face her fully, showing her that she had his attention .. ava smirked, proud and knowing, flipping back the cascade of jet-black hair that fell effortlessly around her shoulders. “all of america. why? scared to be seen with a woman this attractive?” she finished with a cheeky giggle, brows wiggling while looking into the camera — the confusion on his face has yet to fade. ava: “if you’re worried about being wrongfully perceived, don’t. your face is pretty, your body is tight - if your personality is bleep, the ladies at home won’t care. that’s how it is.” her hands gripped her hips, “you can be the bleep bleep person on the planet, but guess what? if you’re hot, you get screentime.”

just in time, your classroom door swung open — nicholas, relieved, nearly jumped out of his skin. at the sight of jabrieah, your line-leader, peeking out of the door, ava quickly turned on her heels and rushed down the hall and turned the corner in a hurry — the camera angling in on her as she descended.

your kindergartners’ were in their graduation gowns; a vibrant shade of blue, charming and whimsical, and designed to celebrate the joyous milestone of young learners. their gowns were adorned with cheerful motifs, such as stars, balloons, and playful animals, which represented the joy and wonder of early education —

— “donuts! cookies!” malachi; the second in line, cheered, alerting you and the other children. gio; the teacher-helper and aiden; the caboose ripped themselves from your hands and pushed through most of the line to reach nicholas first. and when your boyfriend met your disappointed glare .. his shoulders dropped and he seemed to shrink into himself.

﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ

“okay, so, i asked nicholas - my boyfriend - if he could pick up my special order from lulu’s; the best pastry spot in philly, and swing by after the graduation. two nights ago, nic and i thought it would be cute to - to give them something else to look forward to after their ceremony,” you spoke into the camera, warm and bubbly — emphasis on ‘after’. “he’s just an hour early,” you continued, smile slowly falling, “which .. which isn’t so bad, necessarily, but .. y’know .. i had a surprise set in place for my kids. so . .. .” you blinked away and then back at the camera, tongue poking the inside of your cheek.

౨౿ nicholas chavez who helps mr. johnson, gregory eddie, janine teagues, and jacob hill stack the parent chairs away and against the gymnasium walls — making room for the fun festivities. the main camera was zoned in on ava; fixing her patterned blouse ( revealing more of her cleavage ) and watching the muscles in nicholas’ large arms flex and spasm. “that young man is spoken for ava.” barbara howard came into view. “this is your sixth reminder ..” the camera shifted up at barbara and then back to ava as she asked, without hesitation or much care; “be honest. completely. who looks better? me or y/n?”

barbara sighed deeply and gave her a gentle tap on the forearm. “come. come,” she urged kindly. “this way. come help me and melissa with the cotton candy machine.”

౨౿ nicholas chavez who watches tariq temple — like he’s headlining coachella, tariq’s wearing a gold chain that probably has a cartoon character on it, sunglasses indoors, and a loud glittering jacket with “kiddie class of swag” embroidered on the back — abbott elementary’s very own rapper, perform and jump around the gymnasium stage .. with an unsure look on his face. he wasn’t sure if he should move his body or remain still, for the message tariq had been spewing into the microphone was .. highly inappropriate for elementary school students; so wrong, yet undoubtedly catchy.

you, on the other-hand, had been loving it — rocking side to side with the thumping beat. the just-graduated children were dancing with their friends, the big-kids, and parents, tariq’s raps going into one ear and right out of the other.

“y’all, for real — remember when y’all couldn’t even color in the lines? look at you now! first grade's ‘bouta be a breeze .. except maybe the bleep math! yo, don’t let ‘em trip you up with that new bleep-bleep math. trust me, that bleep is’a damn scam!”

the camera zoomed in on you and nicholas; eyes widening in the crowd as you both winced — then, the crew quickly switched the attention to barbara and melissa schemmenti, who were in absolute disbelief, mouths opened and brows raised so high, seemingly stitched to their hairlines.

“nah yo! real talk, first grade ain’t no bleep joke. i heard they got y’all doin’ homework?! don’t be out here messin' with them trapper keepers!” janine stopped the sway of her hips, fully focused on tariq and his nonsense piece — jacob lost his smile, he and gregory too stunned, but ava .. unbothered.

﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ

“ayo, congrats to all the lil’ homies!” the camera crew had met with tariq backstage after his massive performance. “i can’t believe they graduated, like . ..” tariq clutched a hand over his still-racing heart, “they grown now, like for real. been around this school so damn long, i feel like they mine . .. . y’all feel’me?” no response from the crew. “do good bleep, homies!” tariq flashed his signature grin, showing off the gold-tooth plate and giving the camera a wink before strutting out of camera-view, arms lifted like he’d just performed at a sold-out stadium.

[catboymoments]

I believe I asked this before, and it may have gotten swallowed up, but you've talked about how you think of Nagito's cancer and how he lives with that in present day, but I'm curious what you think about Nagito's frontotemporal dementia? I've read a fanfic series called like "10 years in the future" or something and in one of the chapters Nagito wakes up having like an episode or smth and calls Hajime Kamakura and I would love your take on it in your universe cause I love your art and writing so so so so much

OKAY SO. In franverse (my mind palace headcanons and such) he does wind up getting treated for his cancer via a bone marrow transplant, but that’s not until a few years later when what’s left of Future Foundation starts building up Newdawn and they find a doctor that can help (the doctor in question is the father of one of hayatos future classmates :) he’s from South Korea!)

However on the front of FTD. I don’t think Nagito was lying when he said he had it but I don’t think he actually has FTD. I think he was misdiagnosed by an incompetent doctor, leading to a perceived new cycle of bad luck which made his compulsions worse and his behavior more erratic. While Danganronpa is low scifi and we can fudge some realism, the age range and symptoms of FTD with Nagito’s dynamic and the fact that he’s lived into his early 20’s just… doesn’t make sense with his demographic when you look at the evidence. So I think it was a horrendous misdiagnosis given to a boy suffering from ocd and cptsd.

On one hand, the good luck when he finds out he doesn’t have FTD it’s a relief, but on the other hand the bad luck of it is “I wasted so much of my life and my feelings on a lie and I never got help for what I actually have.”

I’ve seen some people argue that headcanoning him being misdiagnosed is ableist somehow or erasing his disability, but he’s still. An amputee with mental health issues. And as a person with chronic issues who is afab (and perceived as a woman,) saying that we should “just trust doctors diagnosises as they’re never wrong” makes me more upset LOL. I can relate to the medical conundrum of having smth wrong with you and needing help to be told “oh it’s this” and it being wrong and it being worse later, or even “it’s all in your head.” That shit SUCKS.

[zorobraun]

sexual tension with ghost that leads to sex (but he’s kinda toxic)

“yo, y/n, go tell lieutenant ghost that we’re leaving without him if he doesn’t show up in this motherfucking room right now.” soap says to you with some kind of ironic humour. you look at him as if you don’t really know if he’s being serious about it or not. “i’m not fucking around. you go, girl. i’m not stepping into his bedroom. or office. or whatever the fuck that is.” he sighs, making you want to disappear. really, why you, out of everyone else?

“listen, i know i should take orders from you and shit, but i’m not going in there. you’re his friend, you should be the one to bother him.” you finally stand up for yourself, feeling a little bit insecure about your arguments, since you’re new on the team and you don’t really know how you should act around them. the problem is ghost, truly. if your lieutenant wasn’t him, you wouldn’t be afraid to look at him, talk to him… god, even breathe near him.

“we’re going out without the two of you, then.” alejandro points at you and ghost’s closed door. well, you could say that you don’t really care about going out with these men, but… “fine, i’ll go! fuck, y’all are annoying.” you don’t want to be perceived as the most boring woman of all times. you swallow hard, your footsteps are so shallow that you might disappear in the air. your hands are sweaty and you dry them on your jeans, clearing your throat before knocking on his door.

“soap, i already told you. i’m not fucking going this time.” you hear his annoyed and deep voice echoing through the door. you shiver, closing your eyes. “l-lieutenant, hey, it’s y/n. i’m sorry to bother you, soap told me to come get y…” the door opens abruptly, you almost fall behind you. ghost is so much taller now that you’re standing in front of him. he looks at you in silence, making you feel small. you take a deep discrete breath, but he notices. “what makes you think you could’ve convinced me to go?” ghost chuckles and you want to pinch yourself. is he laughing? you never saw him do it.

“i don’t, i was just following orders.” you say, smiling half heartedly. silence again. he’s analyzing you with his intimidating eyes and you just want to run away. “hm, i see. so obedient, y/n.” he’s mocking you, although he sounds good doing it. you raise an eyebrow at him. asshole. “but you can go now. i’m busy, if you didn’t realize it yet.” rude, as always. you sigh, licking your lips, a bad habit of yours that he can’t help but notice. you’re starting to hate him, the team and this place in general. maybe you should just quit, he makes you feel miserable.

“absolutely. sorry to bother you.” you say with no emotions at all. he almost feels bad for you — the way you’re still standing there, in front of him, quietly hoping that he’ll change his mind. but he never does, so you nod your head and walk away.

(…)

a few days later, you were called to his room in the morning. to show some self respect, you said you had an important task to do, so you could only meet him at night, if that was okay. ghost obviously said yes, since he’ll always prioritize work above anything else. much for your unliking, the night came by really quickly — that’s why you’re standing like an idiot in his doorstep again. “come in.” your hear his voice. you open the door, just to close it behind you when you finally enter his room.

well, when you decide to look around… he’s shirtless. he has his back turned to you, but still. you gulp, panicking. you immediately face the door again, as a way to show respect for his privacy. “um, i should come back tomorrow morning.” you say in a very anxious tone and he laughs. “you can turn around now.” you do it slowly, suspiciously, even. you breathe in relief when you see a dressed ghost.

“i’d say sorry but that’s what you get when you decide to come meet me at night.” ghost says in a playful tone, but he’s serious. he was probably getting ready to sleep because he was shirtless at first and he’s wearing grey sweatpants, alongside with his balaclava. “i’m sorry about that, i should’ve known better.” you glance at him, standing still like a fucking mummy. he walks towards you and you hold your breath for some reason.

“you should’ve.” he agrees with you, making you feel dumb. you sigh, crossing your arms against your chest; as if you’re trapping the urge to tell him to fuck off. “anyways, i just wanted to apologize for being rude to you that night. i was pissed with some work stuff, that’s all.” ghost shrugs, very nonchalant. you just can’t believe how fake he sounds, it makes you let out a dry but low laugh. he looks confused and almost annoyed by your behavior, so you close your eyes for a second before opening the door.

“thank you so much for your sincere apologies, lieutenant.” you look at him with a fake smile, wanting to complete your sentence with ‘i can’t wait for you to be rude again tomorrow and apologize three days later with a very fake affection.’ you walk out of his room, don’t even bothering to close the door because he’ll do it anyway. except he didn’t, since you feel his strong grip on your arm. you stop walking just because you physically can’t, he’s way stronger than you.

“let me go.” you look at him, his face uncomfortably close to yours. “i won’t say it again.” you swallow hard, his fresh but masculine cologne weakening your body. “or what?” ghost challenges you and you hate that he sounds like he’s smirking. “i will…” your breathing is erratic. his eyes are hunting yours, making them his forever. you breathe again. “you will what? you sound so dumb right now, y/n.” he chuckles lowly and you look at him with shame, your cheeks burning hot.

he gently pushes you against the wall, trapping your body with his. ghost’s hand goes to your waist, pulling you shamelessly closer to him. you can even feel the print of his cock against your core, making you hold back a moan. “if you weren’t such a sensible bitch i’d fuck you in this corridor, against the wall, make you really ashamed of how loud you’d be screaming my name.” he says next to your ear and you close your eyes to the devilish sound of his turned on voice.

you accidentally (or not) put one of your legs around his waist so you can feel him better. he grabs your leg and you grind on him discretely; you’re acting like a bitch in heat and it pisses you off. “but you’re tender. you’re a sweetheart, isn’t that right? you act like a princess but look at you now. such a whore, i’m amused.” he keeps degrading you, making you squirm in both pleasure and shame.

“can i kiss you? please.” you beg with your watercolor eyes, making him harder. he takes his balaclava off completely and the world stops. you’re so fucking confused — if he doesn’t trust you yet, why show you his true identity? you don’t seem to care enough about the answer when you finally look at his entire face, admiring every detail of it. how come he’s the prettiest man to ever exist? you don’t say it out loud, though. ghost chuckles before kissing you.

his tongue immediately gets into a fight with yours and you keep struggling to breathe through your nose, due to the adrenaline that makes your whole body feel uneasy. his free hand is placed on your neck and you’re starting to believe that it was made to be there forever. he groans into your mouth so quietly that you’re certain he didn’t expect you to notice it, but you do.

you stop kissing him when you come back to your senses, staring at his honey eyes. “i didn’t expect you to be such a good kisser.” you tease him, stroking the back of his neck. “don’t push it, rookie.” he sounds almost out of breath and it turns you on even more. you kiss him again, until you’re both on his bed, panting and fucking like two dogs. deep down, you always knew that he was a fucker, not a lover. “can you go again, baby? i know you can, be good for me, okay? i’m so fucking close, love. i’m gonna cum inside you, can i cum inside you? yeah? fuck, what a good girl. my obedient gorgeous girl, do i need to remind you that from now on, you only take orders from me and me only? no? good, ‘cause if you ever take orders from soap again, you’ll fucking regret it. i’ll make sure to fuck you so hard that you won’t be able to walk around and do your silly little tasks the next day. i want it so bad, baby. do you want it too? will you break our rule so i can fuck you like that?”

(…)

on the next day, you can’t even think straight without the thought of his cum dripping down your thighs and ghost’s fingers pushing it back inside. you can’t finish your tasks without the urge to run to his room so he can take you down again. last but not least, you really can’t walk properly without feeling a strong ache between your legs.

and you didn’t even break the rule.

[nolongernyny]

1:23 a.m, oh lord this is my brain turning off.

As an Alutegra shipper, I am annoyed with how people treat us like fucking weirdos or sort of pedophiles and lesbophobic and also transphobic for some reason I won’t even try to understand.

I mean, I get it if your principal headcanon on Integra is that she’s a beautiful gnc butch lesbian, I might even like it to certain point, but , you gotta understand that doesn’t make you have the right to shit on people for different headcanons.

I do not see Integra as a lesbian, but if you do, that’s very great! I love seeing people relate to characters and also make them part of important representation (in this case, gnc lesbian woc). However, don’t try to call me or any other alutegra shipper a lesbophobic scum for something YOU took as canon.

As a lesbian myself, I truly cannot comprehend what is it that make you perceive Integra Hellsing so much as a lesbian to the point you gotta try and hate anyone who disagrees with you.

“Oh but the finger scene with Seras..” oh, please, lord. Did we forgot what fan service is? I could even take this for granted if Alutegra wasn’t so HEAVILY implied in all Hellsing.

Personally, I dont care about Serastegra, the fanarts are cute ofc !! But it’s just me who sees them rather than grumpy mom who deep inside is depressed and needs helps recovering but is too stubborn to admit it x sunshine daughter who is completely aware of her mom’s mental health and tries her best to make her laugh.

The curious thing is, people who hate alutegra also sees Alu and Tegra’s dynamic like some sort of father figure x daughter. And.. you know, as much as I respect it, I don’t really like it and think you should get checked if you believe Alucard and Integra are the first thing that comes to mind when you think of a father-daughter relationship.

Allow me to elaborate. Many people argue that watching Integra grow into an adult makes Alucard the man who raised her—which is funny because it seems you guys are blind towards the existence of Walter— and how him being a blood sucking bastard doesn’t mean he can’t be a good dad —kinda agree with this, keep it in mind for a minute!— but, aren’t we missing something?

Please, please, please. Just remember what Alucard did say to Integra after she confronted him about killing his uncle’s guards “I feel such a rage swelling between my legs” , first this is such an inappropriate thing to say to a teenage girl but again, this isn’t some sparkling vampire, this is Alucard, a morally grey character, not only that but also how the thing about vampires is them being very.. yeah, morally grey and inhuman, their reasoning is outside of human ethics and morals even if they were one on some point. And second of all, how could you.. call Alucard Integra’s father figure after that ? Do you really think that’s the man that raised her ? And not the human butler that probably changed her diapers ? Lord have mercy.

So, okay. Let’s give you the benefit of the doubt and think “That’s because they were just meeting” alright, alright. Let’s see.

Do you think that, do you honestly think that this man who is getting all giggly when this woman yells at him that he needs to kill —which she knows is something that gets his blood boiling, mind you—after hearing how his servant literally begged her for her orders, specifically her command to search and destroy everything just to satisfy her need of justice? And, why not, his thirst for violence as well? Come on, you can’t hear Sir Integra panting and Alucard asking her if she’s getting wet by all the atrocities that’s happening and say “mm, yes, completely father figure behavior.”

Oh? Not enough? What about her softening her voice when Vladcard appears on screen, calling him “My count” on the sweetest tone possible, while he kneels down to her and addresses her as “My countess”?

God don’t get me started on Hellsing Ultimate end, it might be the solid proof of Alutegra being basically canon.

Oh, and yes, do you remember what I told you to keep in mind? That Alucard regardless of being a monster can be a good dad? Well, I agree with it. Just not with Integra, allow me to introduce you to Seras Victoria.

Alucard might not be Integra’s father figure, but do you know who is seeing him as that? Seras. All the time they spend together, it’s as heavily implied as Alutegra.

Alucard trained her, showed her everything about being a vampire when she had no guidance, allowed her to have a second opportunity to “live”, and was there to show how proud he was of her upon seeing Seras after consuming Pip’s soul, addressing her by her name for the first time. And also patting her head.

That scene was so adorable.

Yes, here ends my rant. Might write an essay on this topic when I get to university lmao, but yes, here I am, entering into shipping discourse like tiktok mfs.

And no, this doesn’t mean I hate Aluseras or serastegra shippers.. I just hate how some of them imply so many ugly things about us Alutegra shippers. Also, might be off topic, but I really feel uncomfortable around AluSeras shippers.. am I the only one?

Anyways, enjoy your year, enjoy your life, and let others enjoy it too!

[intervalart]

Hey, it‘s that same anon again! *is gripped by you* oh wow okay haha 😅 do you…do you also wanna talk about Mad’s headcanons? I have ONE about him, that he’s from San Francisco (and i guess also that he’s Spanish 😅) you can talk about these guys as much as you want. They’re in my head too 😁

SORRY ANON, I HAVE BEEN FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE IRL, YOU DON’T EVEN WANNA KNOW HOW DUMB ITS BEEN.

But here I am! It’s now! So here’s some Mad Dog Headcanons!

I also hc that he’s from San Francisco actually! But I Go a bout it slightly different. xD For one thing, I hc that he’s at least half Chinese (possibly half so that he’s at least Passing so he doesn’t get slurs heaved upon him immediately upon entering a room), so he knows Some Cantonese™, but his family wanted him to speak English whenever possible, so he's kinda rusty on it. (He probably knows some Spanish too, but isn’t as fluent as Sundown)

But let’s start from the top;

(Some stupid pictures of the stupid dummy to break up the cut)

His mom used to be… well, a prostitute. If you called her that to his face he’d probably kill you though. (She wasn’t the nicest or gentlest lady since she’d had a hard life, but she still instilled “respect women” into him since she’d seen all kinds of shit in her old job.) Because of this, Mad Dog never knew his dad, lived with his mom, aunt, and probably an uncle (a large family overall), and had to live down jeers from other kids about his mom being a “woman of the night”.

He was driven to prove himself though, cuz he couldn't stand to inherit the fish shop or be around his stifling family, he wanted to do more with his life and make it his own. So he basically worked his ass off to be anything but blue collar. Refined, educated, wealthy, etc. (if anything to distance himself from his past as much as possible)

Eventually, he got himself a gig in the theater, sometimes acting on stage with his troupe members, other times working backstage with all the fly system. (Which is why he’s both a total fruit cake [theater kid], and why he’s good at traps and technical stuff when helping set the traps). He was basically living out his dreams… until the theater was foreclosed and shut down. (I want to write a comic about this someday, but drawing backgrounds gives me agita)

He hit the booze, coping from the perceived failure of his career, but he was too proud to go back to his family’s fish shop (cuz remember, he's the most stubborn guy ever, and I don’t think his relationship with the family is Great™), so in an act of desperation (despite protests from his theater pals), he picked himself up by the bootstraps and started bounty hunting to pay the bills.

He was crafty with it, so it worked in his favor for a while… But there’s a distinct point in time where he hasn't had to kill a man yet, and a tiny part of him wonders if he can. Like… he’s acted it out on stage, and he’s stood up for himself multiple times in fights, but he’s never been directly responsible for killing anyone. (yet)

This goes out the window pretty quick though, cuz quickly proves he can kill a man when it's in self defense. (his trip to the bounty board in Texas was not uneventful, and his dandy-ass is painting a target on himself with how he dresses lmaoooo)

After that, he quickly builds his reputation and, it kinda goes from there lol. So now time for bullet points.

Mad Dog wants you to think he got his name because of his stubborn personality and unwillingness to let go of his target (It is, partly), but he actually got his name because in one of his first bar fights in Texas, he absolutely 100% bit a guy. (He doesn’t talk about that part as much.)

He’s is a pretty good cook! Since the family had a fish shop, he learned how to cook them, but he expanded on his own culinary vocabulary himself.

However, he’s not very good at sewing. His mom or his aunt would usually fix his clothes for him, the theater had a seamstress/costumer, and he always paid for tailors to make his suits for him. He just never had a reason to learn.

Also, his taste in food can make him a bit of a food snob. He always insists that he do the cooking, cuz he is… Not impressed by Sundown’s cooking.

He is also a good dancer, but instead of from dodging bullets like Sundown regularly does, it’s for fun and fancy purposes (see also Texas Jitterbug).

I have actually previously discussed this, but I actually think that Mad Dog miiiiiight not be the most accurate shooter on his own, so he relies on the longer barrel of the Buntline Special to improve his accuracy. (Even though trying to use it for quickdraw is really REALLY stupid, but that’s another post).

Tying into stupid things…. ugh. -holding my head-. He’s clever. He’s crafty. He’s tactical. He can come up with some of the smartest and ingenuitive things you’ve ever seen. And he is the stupidest motherfucker on the planet. Bro ABSOLUTELY has high INT and low WIS. He wears a BLACK SUIT IN THE DESERT FOR FUCK’S SAKE. AND EYELINER. IN THE DESERT.

Anyways, that’s all I’ve got for now, and again, this is not tying into AU iterations, where things will be slightly different (especially in BBFF and Roleswap… And Duende AU, but that requires knowing OC lore)

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk, now I’m gonna go throw MD in the wood chipper, bye.

[toldbytendo]

𝐴𝑛 𝐼𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑙 𝑇𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑑 𝑇𝑜 𝑆𝑙𝑢𝑡 𝑆𝘩𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑀𝑒…🤣

***DISCLAIMER: mentions of religion, sexuality, a lil preachy and 'testimony'-ish, *forgive me guys* lmao. ***

Before I even get into it, let me be ABSOLUTELY clear—I have NEVER and will NEVER believe that a woman’s sexuality makes her more or less worthy of God’s love. I don't measure or believe in ‘body count’. A woman's choices, or the way she expresses herself as a sexual being are completely her own. I fully support a woman’s rights to own her body, her pleasure, her autonomy, her experiences—even religious women. (I mean…they *we* gotta nut too right? 👀🫣 Being a woman of faith doesn’t mean you have to suppress your desires or feel guilt for them.

It doesn’t mean your body is dirty or shameful.

This is just about ME! ‼️

The lover girl in me has always felt a deep disconnect when intimacy isn’t built on an emotional connection. It’s not about society’s judgment, not about how I’ll be perceived—it’s just who I am. I feel more pleasure, more safety, more fulfillment when I’m not just sharing my body, but my mind, my emotions, my trust. When intimacy is rooted in something deeper than just attraction. As I’m writing this, I can totally acknowledge that those belief systems that I hold close are absolutely motivated and formulated by society and what they tell us about how we should want to navigate sexual experiences but it truly does align with my spirit—regrettably. That’s where the 'guilt' I speak of comes from—from feeling like I was betraying my own values, not simply from outside judgment or fear of being slut shamed.

And that’s why the conversation that inspired, more accurately *triggered* this slightly incoherent post hit so hard.

A so called "Man of God" yep. I'll wait...tried to slut shame me into oblivion today and...we're gonna talk about it.

He sat there, self-righteous and arrogant, telling me I ‘needed to change my ways.’ Asking me how many men I’d been with. Telling me what was *too much* (anything over 5 apparently 🙄😑 okay virgin mary). And when I told him how judgmental, dehumanising and degrading that was, when I told him exactly how he made me feel—he doubled down. "I didn’t mean to offend you, I’m just trying to help."

Help with what, exactly?

Because I already know my struggles. I already know the parts of me I’m trying to heal, the parts I feel a sense of shame about, the patterns I’m trying to break. I’ve spent so much time trying to unlearn the idea that my worth is tied to how desirable or untouched I am. I think a lot of women do, it’s hard not in a society that consistently slut-shames and punishes us for presenting ourselves as sexual beings in spite of being sexualised all the time?

It was like watching the Madonna-Whore complex come to life in real time. Watching how, in some men at least, a woman’s spirituality, her character, her worth will always be reduced to how much or how little she has been desired by men and acted according to her own autonomy. Freud was definitely onto something when he concocted that dichotomy. That's all imma say.

And don’t get it twisted—this wasn’t some divine moment of correction or guidance. This was misogynistic, patriarchal arrogance disguised as spirituality and faith, and I reject it.

I haven’t been radicalised.

I still fully believe that incels exist.

God knows they do.

I haven’t suddenly started believing that men like this don’t walk around with unchecked egos, weaponising God to justify their fragile masculinity and need to control women. I haven’t lost sight of the fact that

MEN. WILL. ALWAYS MEN.

What I did do, though, was choose to use this experience to get closer to God—when my instinct, my initial reaction, was to assume that maybe God was speaking His shame into me through this clown 🤡.

And I just refuse to believe that God would come to me through shame.

I don’t know what to call this feeling, but I know it wasn’t Him. I don’t know if this was a test, a lesson, or just a random moment of life reminding me how people (incels) move, but I know that the God I’m choosing to know, the God I accept in my heart, would never come to me in this manner.

So no, I don’t believe this was some divine intervention, some sign of God’s disappointment in me. I don’t believe He sent someone to make me feel ‘disgusting’, to pull me back into the same shame I’ve been trying to heal from. I don’t believe this was His voice.

Because the God I am getting to know? The God I am slowly learning to run to?

He is love.

He is grace.

He is kindness.

This wasn’t that. This wasn’t Him.

I don’t know what it was. I just know that it tried to drag me backwards. I know that it made me want to sit in guilt I have no business feeling to spiral, to run to bad habits, to look for comfort in places that have never really given me peace.

And for a second, I almost did. I almost let this moment convince me that I wasn’t worthy of God’s love. I almost let it make me feel too dirty, too far gone, too undeserving.

But I didn’t.

Instead, I did something I’ve never done before— I took a breath, and I ran to God instead (and blocked, if you learn nothing else about me from this, know that my trigger fingers will ALWAYS block). 🚫

I don’t know what this moment was supposed to teach me, but maybe it’s this:

That the past will always try to come back.

That POINTLESS shame will always try to find a way in.

That some people will always think they have the right to determine my worth. I think the fuck not.

But I get to choose. I get to decide who I listen to. I get to fight for the version of me that I am trying to become, whether she's a sexual being who owns her body and autonomy completely or someone much more sexually reserved, that's my choice and mine alone. ❤️

And today, I chose to fight the bullshit. I choose to break the cycle. I choose to believe that my Father—my girl dad—does not play about me. 🙏🏾

So no, I will not let this conversation define me. I will not let misogynistic losers win. I will not let silly guilt formed by patriarchy and the weight of my past pull me away from the future I am building and the woman I want to be.

Because I know who I am. And more importantly, I know whose I am.

Also, let’s not forget—I’m a hot girl who gets men and I refuse to let some lanky incel—Mr. Gets No Bitches, Looks Like He Snuck Onto Earth—CLOWN slut-shame me under the guise of faith and Godliness. 😂🤭🤭

Anyway, if you made it this far, thanks for reading. I don’t usually post about this kind of stuff, but I think I needed to write this out—for me, just to get the feelings out.

And for anyone else who might be going through something similar—you’re not alone. This journey of faith, spirituality or even just *growth* is hard, confusing, and full of setbacks. But moments like this?

They strengthen your conviction.

I’m not here to preach, I’m not here to tell anyone what to do or 'spread the word' (notice the lack of scripture?) If my transparency confronts you, challenges you, or even just reminds you of your worth, then I hope it helps in some way. Even if it doesn’t lead you to God, because it’s literally not by force, this is for those who DO believe.

And if you do? Just know this—God does not measure your worth the way men do (as if they even have the right). And, He never will. ❤️

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

okay but i really appreciate you for keeping your pronouns secret because i also don’t want to share mine online and it makes me feel less weird about it

part of it is just how weird people get about you when they associate you with one gender or another. If they associate me with women I’ll get misogynists being misogynists. If they associate me with a man they’ll start insisting I’m only hating people like JKR for misogynist reasons. If they associate me with non-binary genders, especially neopronouns, I’ll get a billion “ackshually snowflake there’s TWO genders” asks in my inbox daily.

Not to mention having to deal with TERFs intentionally misgendering me because I’ve already stated I’m trans.

There is also that it makes me more identifiable imho, but part of it is just how annoying people are. The weirdos who insisted that they “knew” I was a trans man and thus hated trans women (??) because I said I don’t like infighting in the queer community or trying to compare severity of oppression from one identity to another. I can promise you it would have been so much more of a pain if they knew any hint of what my actual gender identity was. If I’m a trans woman they’d accuse me of lying/faking. If I’m a trans man they’d make the same bizarre claims they were already making but more confidently. If I’m any brand of non-binary I can 1000% promise you I would get transmed weirdos during that and EVERY queer related discourse.

It’s just really not worth it. You heathens don’t get to perceive me, invent an idea of me to perceive instead.

Headcanon my gender.

[darcytaylor]

I’m sorry but I really don’t get the L/A and N/J comparison. Let’s just start with the fact that, as anon said, only one couple is a couple so why would people be mad about a thing that doesn’t exist? And besides that, I always thought that people weren’t happy with Luke not because of A’s age but because he SPECIFICALLY was looking for a young woman who was a dancer for at least three months when finally at the end he set his eyes on Antonia and was satisfied. I understand that he can do whatever he wants but he was specifically looking at 22 years old girls (and with at least 6 of them he was flirting/liking posts on his PUBLIC account) so how is that comparable to someone having a connection with a younger person out of the blue (and I repeat this is mere speculation)? I really don’t like these weird comparisons because the two situations are completely different.

Okay, let me clarify this further. If this explanation still doesn’t make sense, I will understand. Cognitive dissonance can be a complex concept to grasp fully. But this will be the last post that I bring it up and answer asks about it!

Some people might be open to the idea of Nicola and Jake being in a relationship with an age gap, even if it’s speculative. At the same time, those same people might express discomfort or disapproval about Luke and Antonia’s relationship solely because of their age difference. This inconsistency in how age gaps are perceived is an example of cognitive dissonance.

Cognitive dissonance occurs when a person holds conflicting beliefs or attitudes about similar situations, which creates discomfort. In this case, the dissonance arises because there’s an acceptance of an age gap in one scenario but criticism of a similar situation in another. This conflict highlights how people might struggle to reconcile their views when faced with similar issues.

It’s important to note that the specific people involved or whether a relationship actually exists isn’t the main point. The core issue is the inconsistency in how age gaps are judged. If someone has different standards for different situations, that’s cognitive dissonance. Ideally, the same standards should apply consistently across all situations, regardless of the specifics, regardless of speculations.

Additionally, there are various reasons why people might have strong opinions about Luke’s relationship with Antonia, and it’s not a straightforward issue. It’s not just one reason - it’s complex and multifaceted. Everyone has different perspectives and reasons for their views.

However, when discussing cognitive dissonance in this scenario, the other reasons for why people might be upset about Luke and Antonia aren’t relevant. And the reason's for people to be okay with Nicola and Jake aren't relevant. The focus is on the inconsistency in how age gaps are perceived, not on the specific details or motivations behind those opinions or the people directly involved.

I hope this helps.

[auschizm]

Hello! I would like to vent about something that’s been causing me a lot of stress/paranoia for the past 2-3 years.

I had to get my phone fixed after it fell down my apartment steps. I set up an appointment, and my sister said that she could take it in for me. Everything was fine until they asked her/me for my PIN code + then factory reset my phone - something that really wasn’t necessary in my opinion, but my sister told me that they said it needed to be done. It really bothered me at the time, but I was just happy to get my phone back.

It’s only for the past couple of months that it’s been causing me to be extremely paranoid. And I kind of know where it stems from:

1) My mom going through my things as a kid-teen,

2) Men suddenly starting to perceive me (#ew), and

3) paranoia of being watched/on camera unknowingly.

I know this is all interconnected, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling noxiously paranoid everyday. I can’t go 2 hours without thinking about it - and I’ve tried telling myself how unreasonable it is; reverse-image searching pictures and videos of myself online, looking at reviews for the business, saying that even if videos/pictures of me are out there, there’s nothing I can do now - and if they are out there, not everyone I interact with has seen them.

But none of it helps. No matter how reasonable I get, the paranoia mutates and I just start thinking about it again.

(I don’t understand why men are paying attention to me; I wish no one ever looked at me. I’m thinking it has to be because a video of me got out.)

——————————————————————————

Also, I was fired from my first “real” job last year - small business with manipulative, idiot boss that only hired me because he was firing someone that was more capable and that he couldn’t afford to pay anymore. He went to my mom’s church and only hired me because - in his words - “I was slow”.

Not too slow to realize that he wasn’t paying me enough, that he wasn’t paying vendors, and that his business model was literally ordering things online and pricing it up 100%. I only took the job because I desperately needed some experience, but he spent the whole time treating me as if he got one over on me: looking at me like a toddler/dog whenever I successfully completed a task, ogling me when he thought I didn’t notice - or possibly because he didn’t think I noticed - and telling everyone he knew that I was his “goddaughter” (I hate forced proximity like this; you don’t know me).

Anyway, when I confronted him about not paying me enough I knew he was probably just going to fire me, but I didn’t really care at that point. And that did happen a month later. But he (and his wife, who kinda operated the business) said that they had fired me because ‘I was going to college’, and also, they ‘saw something on camera’.”

Now, as far as I know, there was only one camera in the entire store. But considering how paranoid and manipulative he was, I wouldn’t put it past him to put a camera somewhere else - no matter how cheap he was. I’m thinking he just said that so I couldn’t sue/get unemployment, but if he wanted to fire me why not just give an actual reason - of which there were a few. But it’s still making me incredibly paranoid, because although he is a piece of shit, he knows more people than I do. If he wanted to ruin my reputation by being a petty liar, he could (something he did to the woman that he fired - who I’m pretty sure was autistic as well; we got along pretty well.)

(I also feel disgustingly guilty for taking the woman who was fired’s job. But I really needed to work at the time, and the job was offered to me as if we would be working together, not that I would be replacing her. It literally makes me feel so sick. We talked a bit after she left, and she didn’t seem to mind, and was still very nice. But still, like, would you tell somebody you hated their guts to their face?)

——————————————————————————

Okay, that’s all. I didn’t mean for this to get so long, but if I’m paranoid about one, I’m usually paranoid about the other.

Thank you for reading! I hope you’re doing well <3<3<3<3

I can't tell you how to effectively work through your paranoia, but I can say that it makes sense to be paranoid about these things if you besides having a tendency towards paranoia have a history with surveillance and mistreatment. So you really shouldn't beat yourself up for struggling with all of this.

[iamabigbox]

Okay I’ve suddenly gotten The Secret History brain rot and have to let it out so here’s what I think about some of the characters ability to cope after the murder of the farmer and Bunny.

Of course we have Henry, the orchestrator of both murders, who coped the best. Him being the character in control the majority of the time (even with his own death) he thus has the strongest desire to lose it (the bacchanal) and seemingly has no negative repercussions (other than stress from trying to not get them all caught) or moral qualms.

We then have Camilla, who I recall handling it well. She strikes me as a controlled character, with her never rlly losing her cool. Being the only girl in the group, she probably did have to put on a front, though her character has always seemed like a mystery to me ,as we only see her through Richards incredibly romanticised view.

Francis, another one who most likely had to have a control over how he was perceived due to being gay in the 80s, though I don’t think he was ever made a huge deal of hiding it (with it being common knowledge in the group and Richard being able to assume before he even met the guy) thus not being the most controlled and leading to his attempt at the end, though whether this being due to the murder or the loss of his friends or marrying a woman is up for debate (most likely the accumulation of all of the above)

We then have Charles and Bunny the two who take it the worst and also the two who (I believe) were much more authentic then the others, with them both being the most friendly to Richard at the start at not having much to die in the first place. Especially with Bunny who said or did whatever he wants, thus taking it the worst even though he didn’t even kill the farmer or was present when he died.

Honestly I don’t rlly know what to say about Richard, partly due to his unreliableness and partly me not remembering the later parts of the book. He does take ur quite well and even sort of help plan the mushroom idea. He is quite a controlled character I’d say with him hiding what he’s thinking and his affine for lying.

In summery, what I’m trying to say is that the whole control and letting go thing runs throughout the book with Henry, the most controlled, thriving and Bunny the least controlled, being ridden with paranoia.

(Again, Sorry for any inaccuracies in this I really haven’t read it in so long Iol just thought I might’ve been on to something.)

[garbageforyou]

~Mrs. Han~

A little fanfic about (fem) MC and Jumin going dress shopping.

Warnings: None!

Word Count: 2143

MC brushes her fingers against the fabric of the dress laid out on Jumin’s bed. The itchiness is already calling out to her. It was an…interesting design, to say the least. Particularly not her style, no, definitely not her style. Yet her beloved is staring at her, leaning against the doorframe, waiting to hear her praise at the sight of his surprise gift. He was making it so hard for her to politely decline, but if not an honest woman she was, then what would Jumin be proud of?

“I thought you could wear it to the party.” He began. “It’s tailored to fit your frame perfectly, accentuate your bodice, and these are the latest colors in style, and they would highlight-”

“Ju-ju.” She interrupted. He was always so uniform when he spoke, judging things on how they should be perceived, and not how they actually are. Yes, maybe this shape would fit her frame, but it wouldn’t make her confident, nonetheless, feel anything resembling pretty. She began walking towards him, placing her hands on his chest. She looked up at him, pursing her lips, her eyes cast away from his gaze. 

“What is it?” He asked, gently bringing her face to look at him. 

“It’s not that…” she paused, “I love the gesture, I do. It is so nice, however,” she remembered what Jumin responded best to, and beating around the bush wasn’t anywhere close to that. She finally said, “it’s just not me.”

His eyebrows furrowed, “Alright.” He exhaled, “Explain to me what exactly isn’t ‘you’ about it?”

“The color is just so bright.” She says through a forced smile, squinting her eyes, trying to find anything nice to say but as she walks back over to the dress. She sighs, “the high collar is very old school, not to mention this ruffle of fabric at the waist is unflattering. Don’t get me started on these spur of the moment buttons, tarnished looking. And-” she stops, her eyes catch his.

He smirks, his hands in his pockets as he walks over to her, “Is that all?” 

“I’m sorry, I just can’t wear that to the party.” She sits on the bed, her face in her hands, muttering “Oh god, I sound so snobby and ungrateful.”

Jumin sits next to her on the bed, his hand on her thigh as he leans to grab her attention, “You know what you want and you're honest about it, there is nothing shameful about that. It's what I admire most about you.”

“Being honest is hard when you’re a people pleaser.” She looks up at him, smiling as she moves her hair out of her face. “How do you do it so easily?”

He sighs, relaxing back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, she follows suit. “The only person I aim to please is you.” He turns to her and seeing her face meet him in that moment makes him realize something.

He stares back up at the ceiling, running a hand through his hair as he ponders, listening to the creak of the mattress as MC twists and turns on the bed, holding herself up on her elbow, her other hand grabbing onto his hand draped over his abdomen. 

“I need to learn more about your likes,” he says. “Perhaps a shopping trip would help atone for my mistake?”

“Oh, Jumin, it wasn’t your mistake. I’m just-” she is stopped by him grabbing her face, he squeezes her gently and she breathes deeply. 

“Let me take you out. Can I at least do that?” He asks, his gray eyes locking onto her.

“Okay.” She agrees, because how could she no when he was looking up at her like that?

~~~

MC watches as Jumin picks out the most conservative designs, dresses that cover head to toe, no skin exposed, designs that could easily date all the way to the 1800s. She politely declines them, telling Jumin to trust her judgment and she’ll seek his approval when the time comes. Jumin wore the same thing everyday, refusing to change, although every once in a while he might sport a dashing cashmere vest, maybe even venture into some sweatpants just for her. When it came to what she wanted, she sat his cute little tush in a chair while she continued looking, and he was content with just that, so long as he could call this “being a good boyfriend.” 

Jumin is sat down outside the fitting rooms, checking emails on his phone, when all of a sudden he hears the shutting of one of the doors. 

“MC?” He calls out, straightening up in his seat, putting down his phone. He tilts his head to the side, noticing familiar feet peeking through the bottom opening of a door.

“It’s a surprise!” She calls out. He hears the shuffling of fabric and the unzipping of clothes. The ones she once wore now fell to the floor with a slight thump. The sleek black heels of Ms. Jeanne, the fitting room attendant, alongside her, clacking a constant movement as she moseyed around MC. Jumin’s face caught heat as he averted his eyes to what he could only think was: MC is undressing.

Such a boyish thought, he berated himself. He was a proper gentleman, he would not think improper thoughts at the most innocent act of getting changed. He leaned back in his chair, pulling out his phone again, set on his mind refusing to wander as he studied the most recent report Assistant Kang forwarded. 

Suddenly, the click of the hinges, and the squeak of the door. He peered up as MC sheepishly walked out in an elegant, black gown that touched the floor. Gold shimmered alongside the pattern, the dress cinched to fit her frame with clips in the back, a note to be altered in tailoring later. However, the sweetheart curves of the top that hugged her breasts and the chiffon sleeves that draped, altogether was a vision to be seen. Enough to be alluring but not enough to be promiscuous for eyes other than him to behold of such radiance. She was a sight, one that words could not follow, leaving him, mouth agape as he ogled. 

Ms. Jeanne clasped her hands together, clearing her throat, “I must step out for a moment, please excuse me. Spin around dear, make sure you really like it and I’ll be back for the measurements” She exited the room, leaving Jumin silently observing MC as she did a half twirl in the elongated mirror. 

“Do you like it?” She asked him, turning around to face him. A sudden wave of self consciousness washed over her as she began to doubt her choice, crossing her arms over her chest, his silence was deafening. 

Jumin stood from his chair, his hands reached out to unwrap her arms, placing them back by her side. He intermingled with the features of her delicate hands, interlocking with them once he met her eyes. 

“You’ve rendered me speechless, yet again. You’re beautiful.” His voice was hush, huskier as it lowered. When he called her beautiful, it never grew old, simply kept her youthful as butterflies waved in the pit of her stomach. 

“Yeah?” She breathed, biting her lip, a gleeful expression sauntered her lips.

“Yeah.” He repeated, assured. His lips parting as he leaned closer, his eyes drifting close as did hers. 

“Oh my!” A female voice sputtered, immediately altering the moment as Jumin and MC tensed, jolting from one another to regain their composure. “I am so sorry. I did not intend to intrude on your privacy.”

“It’s alright, Ms. Jeanne.” Jumin chuckled, this had become a new occurrence for them, redhanded everywhere they went. One that left him giddy like a schoolboy being caught in the same predicament. 

He clears his throat, “I believe this is the dress, unless,” he looks to MC, “I am mistaken?”

“Uh, no, yes, this is…” she smooths out the crinkles in the dress, “This is the dress.” 

“Wonderful! Now let’s see…” Ms. Jeanne rushes over, pulling out a measuring tape, scribbling down MC’s measurements on a scrawny notepad. She clicks her pen as a sign of completion. “We’ll get to work right away, Mrs. Han.” The clicking of her heels stay fast paced as she exits.

MC’s eyes widen, “Huh.” 

Jumin looks at her, “Huh?”

She smiles widely, a blush creeping on her cheeks, “Mrs. Han.” She repeats, shrugging her shoulders. “You know, me, Mrs. Han.” She bats her hand.

“Does that bother you? I will see to it that it won’t happen again if it does.” Jumin asks, concern frames his face, unbeknown to MC’s antics. 

“Can you remove these clips and unzip me?” She asks, ignoring his concern. She turns her back toward him, feeling his hands slowly tug at the fabric. “No one’s ever called me Mrs. Han before.”

“If it bothers you, my love, I will correct-” Jumin starts.

“No, no. I like it.” She says, her head turned over her shoulder to catch a glimpse at him. Silence followed and Jumin’s hands stopped, slowly retracting from her. Her dress felt looser, a chill running along her exposed back. She turned around to face Jumin, the silence eating away at her. She didn’t realize how close he was, it startled her, grabbing onto his shoulders to keep her balance. At a closer look at him, she could tell he was thinking, calculating, analyzing, she knew those threads could get tangled easily. It was her job to untangle them, not create more messes. 

“Jumin, I didn’t mean anything serious about it. I was just playing around.” She spoke, but that was a lie. She didn’t necessarily mean ‘drop down on your knees with a ring’ kind of serious, but she did mean she wanted it someday, to have his name, to be the “Mrs's”, to be the wife he would rush home to see, to be his wife. Those cloudy eyes stayed out of focus, lost somewhere else. She brushed her hand on his face, his eyes fluttered to her, a soft smile forming on his lips.

 “What are you thinking about?” She asked softly.

“Those tiny towels that say Mr. and Mrs. at the front of the store.” He started and she let out a chuckle.

“Wha-why are you-what made you think of that?” She asked, humorously. “Because of…”

“I like the sound of it. Only when it comes to you, Mrs. Han.” He smiles, his nose brushing against her. “There have been many women who foolishly refer to themselves as that because of my father, but hearing you referred to as Mrs. Han…It fills me with excitement at the thought that one day, with your permission, it should be a normal occurrence.” He says, his hand trailing along the exposed skin on her back, sending tingles down her spine. 

MC slowly back away from him, a playful smile on her face, “Well, Mr. Han, when do you see this becoming a ‘normal occurrence’?” She asks, raising an eyebrow, slowly backing against the fitting room door.

“Well, Mrs. Han…” he starts, his eyes narrowing as he slowly moves towards her. He places his hand on the door behind her, leaning into her. “Just say the word, you know I’ll give it to you.” 

Her eyes widen at his choice of wording, her face beaming red, unable to handle the sensual position that has taken place with the beautiful Jumin Han leaning over her. 

“Um…um…I don’t really know, it’s up to you…” she’s stuttering as she admires him, and yet he’s calm, cool and collected. 

“Maybe you need to hear the name a couple more times, just to be sure.” He says, leaning down to kiss her. She eagerly awaits the feeling of his lips on her but he comes across her cheek, softly breathing, “Mrs. Han.” He kisses along her jawline, whispering again, “Mrs. Han.”

“I knew it! You were paying attention to Pride and Prejudice yesterday.” MC says, smugly.

“Am I doing it right?” He asks, softly.

“Oh, Mr. Han, you’re doing everything right.” She replies, earning an earnest smile from her Mr. Han. He leans down, finally kissing her lips,  a delightful little chirp from her escapes. She grabs at his tie, tugging on it, opening the door behind her as she pulls him inside with her.

“Mrs. Han, did you need any assistance in there? With the dress, I mean?” Ms. Jeanne’s voice calls from outside the fitting room. MC and Jumin giggling, shushing each other.

“No ma’am… Mr. Han’s got it all under control in here…with the dress, of course! He’s helping me with the dress!” MC shouts, trying to hold in her laughter. “I’ll be out in a minute!”

Jumin places his hands on her waist, pulling her closer, “Where were we again, Mrs. Han?” 

[cancerian-woman]

oooh so i feel like i can guess the answer, BUT how would you rank all of bonnie’s ships *solely* from what we got in canon vs how would you rank them based on fanon/general potential!

Oooh okay, I’ll start with canon ones then go to fanon.

Beremy: It was cute, puppy love at first but in the end Bonnie was doing all the work & his unassigned but assigned babysitter. 3/10

Bonenzo: in theory he did make Bonnie happy she deserved that. Enzo is very much “one size fits all” type of character if yk. They did get together under Stockholm Syndrome purposes and it was just done lazily? I think they would’ve been more well perceived if they started building them up in s5 or something. Killing him last minute to “trigger” Bonnie’s psychic powers or magic again was just another way to aid in her suffering. 5/10

Bamon: chemistry is great. Damon abandoning Bonnie after she needed him after bonding in the prison world’s was a good moment for Bonnie’s feelings to be shown. Knowing she has issues with abandonment. But, Bamon falls into the same category as Delena. Woman is complicit to all of Damon’s bs and a lot of that happened with Bamon. The writers said ok Elena is gone Bonnie can now agree or side with him the most. There’s Anti-Bamons, then there’s people who genuinely like Bamon and then people who ship Bamon just to free Elena of that burden of Damon lol. I do think they work best if Elena isn’t around. 7.5/10

Stefonnie: you can’t pry Stefan’s protectiveness and kindness to Bonnie in 1-2 out of my hands. He actually tried to make friends with Baroline unlike Damon. Stefan’s history with Bennett’s was another good push there too. And it’s sooo underrated that Stefan was the first vampire Bonnie ever trusted. Plus she had a lil crush on him before Elena got him. I do think they could’ve been something really good in those later seasons. Both tend to play a “hero” role to someone else. Stefan promised he would’ve fixed what he did to Bonnie and idk we needed to see that. It would’ve been nice if we could’ve gotten Damon/Stefan discussing that Bonnie’s forgiveness isn’t so easy to earn. 8/10

Bonora: good chemistry but extremely underrated. They remind me a bit of the wlw Bonkai. Would’ve been a perfect time to introduce bi!Bonnie. I liked that Bonnie encouraged Nora to do something outside of Mary. We never really got those “Bonnie’s beautiful!” By other characters but the way Nora said it continously and wanted to engage with Bonnie. It was so good. Long term and fanon-wise I think they both could’ve learned to grow out of those toxic ties to people with each other. We didn’t get Bonnie with other witches a lot and it was nice to see her with one. 8/10

Bonkai: Chris was Kat’s best on-screen partner imo. Kai brings out a darker side to Bonnie that she tries ignore often. While I think Bonnie brings out emotions Kai hasn’t felt in ages. He’s so fascinated with her in an obsessive but good for tvdu type of way. She’s the only way he sees. Bonnie isn’t a pushover either with Kai. She fights him back, she calls him out and tbh she’s even goofier with him. He pushed her more into her agency than Damon ever did. Bonkai would’ve been great for seasons 6-8. Idk if i would “redeem” him per se bc redemptions aren’t real in tvd but being good to Bonnie and Bonnie only is enough for me. Canon-fanon-9/10.

Bonlena & Baroline: I’ll just do these together. Bonlena had the stronger chemisty 1-2 era of them perfect. You can feel how close they are and need each other. Despite the negative tones with Petrova & Bennett lines repeating you can say they could be drawn to each other naturally. But, Elena does end up ignoring Bonnie so…7/10. Baroline is all about fun but they do support each other and can be protective. Caroline does try to get Bonnie out of doing magic all the time. 7/10

Bonlijah: interesting because Elijah like Stefan and Damon have harmed or betrayed Bonnie. Elijah’s done it twice. We don’t get a lot of them. Bonnie would’ve made him work for her forgiveness. Elijah likes acting on his own needs first but needs to be forced to see his wrongings in a situation and Bonnie certainly wouldn’t let up and make him focus on their errors before continuing. He did have to thing positively of her to face his brother alone. 7/10

Klonnie: based on canon I’d say season 3-4 are would be their best moments. Klaus does like witches. Bonnie had more onscreen time with Tyler!Klaus than his actual body. But Tyler!Klaus did sort of hint he admired she defied the spirits. There’s the power dynamics that comes into play here. Bonnie isn’t afraid of Klaus no matter how much power he wants to enforce over her. I can see them fanon wise strategizing together and Bonnie agreeing to help him if it means her friends are good. Canon wise though if nothing comes between them from 2-4 then they’d have to remeet afterwards. Same applies for all the Mikaelson’s. 9/10

Kennett: they could’ve bonded over magic and they do have more scenes than most BennettxMikaelson ships. Kol called out Bonnie’s death too. He saw potential in her and wanted to work with her….that being said they caused that lady to go crazy on Twitter over a 10 second scene LMAO so despite how i feel about that 10 10 10 across the board. Fanon wise i do think other fandoms taking over Kennett has deterred my liking for them. Dollar general Kennett has nothing on them. But Bonnie unlike Davina would want to see Kol for who he is. No rose tinted glasses.

Monnie/Tonnie: we don’t have a lot of Tonnie but they’re always watching each other / protective gazes when they are allowed to share a scene. This is a ship I can see working through college or when they both left Mystic Falls. For the both of them that isn’t their home longterm. 8/10. Now, onto Matt absolutely not. 5/10. Not just because Matt’s useless, but he doesn’t like the supernatural world for himself. He’s accepting of his friends and for others but it’s not something he’s really into. Bonnie already had to deal with this from Rudy. No need in dating a human or anything longterm who doesn’t like that side of her.

Honorable mention: Batherine could’ve played a frenemies with benefits role. Idk if it was the intention to “fix” Elena’s relationships but placing Katherine in these random moments but it was interesting when it did happen.

This was long and it took me a minute but i hope i answered it the way you thought of!! Thank you for the ask!

[f0point5]

I think the inherent idea of body positivity was good, but it just took a weird turn.

Like yes, you don’t know anyone’s story, so don’t be a fucking asshole and comment on anyone’s body. (Should be common sense)

Yes, you don’t have to starve yourself and look like a Victoria’s Secret super model.

But then it just turned toxic in all directions. People who were into fitness suddenly got called fat-phobic. And serious health issues regarding being overweight just got dismissed by body positivity.

A few years ago I got sick, eating was hard for a long time, and since I’ve always been skinny, I quickly got underweight. Then I got prescribed different medications with the side effect of weight gain. Went down almost ten kilos in the beginning, and up almost 30 kilos in the end.

Is it better than dying? Absolutely. But once the underlying issue was solved, weighing more than you should just isn’t fun. And no one can tell me it is.

And people around you are absolutely lying about it to you. Once I started losing weight when I was done with my treatment, everyone and their mother told me how great it is to see the kilos disappear and how great I look.

I guess what annoyed me about it was that the beauty standards never really changed…but we were just pressured into not acknowledging that? Like sorry to say it but what is considered “beautiful” and “attractive” never changed. Men didn’t suddenly start find thicc girls hot, they always did, hourglass was always the preferred body shape out in the real world. Heroin chic was a fashion industry trend. There was no seismic shift, as someone who dared during this period and knows people who did…the standard never changed.

It’s just suddenly it became illegal to acknowledge that your body does play a role in how you are perceived in the world, and that there are body types that are considered less desirable by society at large. And should that be the case? Maybe not. But it never stopped being the case, we just stopped being allowed to say it. Everyone got bullied into toeing the party line and it was so disingenuous. We all just had to start lying to each other (and some people to themselves) about what we actually thought about our bodies.

Sooo many “body positive” people took ozempic the first chance they had. And no hate for that, but you were lying when you said you adored your body, weren’t you? It’s okay to be uncomfortable in your skin - I don’t know a single woman who isn’t - but to be like “I like being size X” and then take the first option out of there is like…mkay.

If you love your body, whether thin or not, you should be able to say that. Thin people should be allowed to like the way they look and enjoy being the beauty standard the same way people should be allowed to enjoy their money. And I say this as someone who isn’t thin. I’m not built to be thin, and I don’t want to do the work to get toned. But I don’t begrudge people born with the body I wish I had, or the people who work for it.

And yeah everyone is lying about it. I mean I don’t know about literally everyone but I lost a noticeable amount of weight and everyone who always told me I was gorgeous was falling over themselves to tell me how good I looked. And everyone was finally comfortable enough to make fun of overweight people around me because they didn’t have to worry I’d get offended. And I get to be included in the “well we have self control because we abstain from food” conversations now. And the whole time everyone kept their comments to themselves but clearly there was this whole part of their thoughts I wasn’t privy to because I wasn’t “in”. And that’s just people I knew personally.

I just think, 100% we shouldn’t be commenting on random people’s bodies negatively. If you have nothing to say, stay quiet, it’s free. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with acknowledging what we find attractive/beautiful and the fact that not everyone fits into that very narrow mould. That’s not everyone’s path in life. Some people are at the pointy end of the bell curve, and we seem to be moving towards a world where it’s not okay to admit that and I hate it (it’s happening with intelligence too).