#(does this count as blender lore)

[your-fave-is-being-blended]

helium

Helium from Real Life is being blended!!

You cannot save it.

Umm...

[pocketramblr]

Ask game, please! Dracula AU where Jonathan is a werewolf. It doesn’t end well (well, even sooner) for the count.

Ok love this also we're throwing werewolf lore in a blender to make this work and kinda fit the original novel. Kinda.

1- ok so Bram Stoker was Irish so our dear friend Jonathan is a descendent of Laignech Fáelad and the werewolves of Ossory, though one who's family has been in England for at least several generations now. Also, these are the "astral projection of spirit in the form of wolves" type of werewolves described in Nennius of Bangor's Historia Britonum, similar to the ones Augustine of Hippo say are possible through God to fight evil because uh whatever Christianity thing is going on in Dracula.

2- So when Jonny boy shows up to Transylvania and all the locals are freaked out about something, he looks in his Romanian to English dictionary and sees they're using a word that means either vampire or werewolf. And then he wonders if the Count is a werewolf too, and is curious about how that works here- the only other werewolves he ever knew were his mother and grandfather, but they are tragically long dead since he's an orphan who sees his boss as a parental figure. So when he hears wolves in the woods, he's not too concerned yet. When a woman presses a rosary into his hand, he awkwardly takes it and wonders if she'd be superstitious of him too, if she knew- but he really wants to meet the Count!

3- but then he meets the Count. And the Count does have the ability to somewhat control wolves... But he really also sets them off. They don't like him. And Jonathan? His inner wolf does not like this guy, it's unnatural, it's bad, he wants to bite but!! He can't do that, he's a real lawyer now and Mina would be so disappointed if he used his first customer as a chew toy. So he grins and bears it, wondering if it's just a territory thing, and wondering if the castle is so empty because the rest of the Count's family is out in wolf form. But... Where are the servants or anyone else?

4- Eerily, Jon goes to sleep, and his human body is left behind in his bed while his spirit pops out in wolf form. He can't smell anyone. Just the Count, and three faint scents, but they don't smell human. They don't even smell like real wolves. They smell like long dead corpses. Still nervous, Jon curls up in the corner and tries to get some rest as a wolf.

But then the Count comes in while he's "sleeping", getting close to the bed and frowning at the rosary. Jonathan's spirit werewolf has had enough and just jumps up, lunging on instinct to protect his human form.

A wolf battle commences, but Dracula hasn't had to put up an actual fight in so long, and Jonathan has the power of God and anime on his side so he wins- and the lady vampires drop dead from their connection to the Count. Freaking out about the murder, Jonny returns to his human body and runs.

5- when he returns to the town a day later, ragged and panicked, when the town hears about all four vampires being dead... They throw a party of a "funeral", everyone swears up and down that the Count and his family tragically died of a wolf attack the day before Jonathan got in and he found their bodies when the coach took him to the castle, and he's sent home bewildered but his boss is like "wow that really sucks, I'm sorry you had such a horribly unlucky first case, let's keep you close to home from now on. Also is your hair white now?"

No vampires travel into England, Jonathan is worried that his wolf form now being stark white is a bad omen, but Mina just pets him behind his ears and says she thinks it's cute, oh, also, Lucy wrote her about one Doctor Van Helsing that a friend of hers knows, he heard about the strange wolf attacks in Romania and blamed it on vampires, can you believe?

[skekheck]

30 Days of the Dark Crystal Challenge

Decided to do poultry-blocks Dark Crystal challenge because it looks like a lot of fun to do. However I’m cheating and I wrote all of this within a couple of days. Warning: fairly large post with pictures and fan ramblings. 

EDIT: I FORGOT TO INCLUDE DAY 16 WHOOP. It’s in there now. 

Day 1. Your favorite skeksis

Idiot, feral, wildman who stole my heart. How? Why? Who knows. *chef kisses* Beautiful stinky bastard.

Day 2: Your favorite gelfling

Bless her and her skeksis cosplay. What a queen.

Day 3: A character that you love that everyone seems to hate.

The tides are changing for her it seems. I think people are appreciating her more, but she still faces her fair share of controversies. Not that I don’t think it warrants discussion nor am I excusing her actions. But she’s way more complex than what a lot of people are making her out to be.

Day 4: A character that you hate that everyone seems to love. 

Hate is a strong word as I don’t hate him, but I don’t really care for Amri. He feels like a bootleg Deet mixed with a little bit of Kylan and Gurjin. Wasted potential and honestly shouldn’t have been the POV for Tides of the Dark Crystal. Seems I’m alone in this opinion, though. Maybe the book warrants rereading?

Day 5: Movie or TV Show? Why?

TV Show by miles! I think the series accomplishes way more than the movie does, like establishing lore,  better written characters, and a more engaging story. I actually cared about the gelfling and it really fleshed out the skeksis in an interesting way outside of “oh they do evil things because they’re evil!”. Doesn’t mean it does everything right, but I’ll get into that later.  

Day 6: Something you wish that happened in the series but didn’t.

Just a few things. I miss the gelfling intermingling with the mystics, particularly urVa. I love everything that happens with urGoh and skekGra, but some of the bonding moments Naia had with urVa are precious and I wish we had more of that. I also wished the gelfling got the message out to the other clans like they did in the book where Kylan dreametched their message onto the Santuary Tree’s blossoms and scattered them all throughout Thra. I also wished Tavra and Onica were an established couple, but maybe it’s not too late for that.

Day 7: Favorite gelfling clan

The Sifa! It was the Dousan at first, but the more I learned about the Sifa the more I grew to love the clan. If I were a gelfling I would probably be a sifa myself LOL. 

Day 8: You opinion on Aughra

She’s a fun and fascinating character! Aughra puts a unique spin on the whole beautiful, wise earth goddess trope by making her ugly, old, and cranky. She’s also a character with her own flaws, even having a mini arc about neglecting to take care of her planet and doing whatever she can to make amends. Not to mention she’s wildly entertaining. Much love for Aughra!

Day 9: Skeksis or Gelfling?

Both!

Day 10: Your opinion on podlings?

They’re just funky little potato people who just want to have fun, dance, and drink all day and I respect them for that. They’re great. Also Hup exists and he’s just an amazing character so there’s that.

Day 11: Your The Dark Crystal unpopular opinion

I think it’s okay to sympathize with the skeksis as long as one is not excusing their actions. I see a lot of people say you shouldn’t because they’re evil and they commit atrocities. Which, yes, it’s true, but I think both can co-exist. I mean, skekTek’s whole cycle of abuse is written very sympathetically yet the show doesn’t coddle him. It shows the ugliness of his character and what happens when someone isn’t capable of cutting off from said cycle. Also the writers consider the skeksis as tragic characters due to their broken nature so I don’t think it’s wrong to be a little sympathetic. But once again with great emphasis, sympathy is fine as long as their actions are judged. They are awful bastards and no amount of sympathy will change that. 

Day 12: Something you dislike about the series

I think the stuff I don’t like about the show is a result of its pacing and cluttered cast. There are so many stories going on and while I liked how they handled it for the most part, you can also see how the show rushes to get through all of them. A lot of important moments where a character should reflect or something that should simmer more is pushed aside for the next thing. Maybe if the show was given more episodes and time to breath it would have been better off. 

Day 13: Most disappointing thing about the series

SkekMal and urVa didn’t have enough screen time and we were honestly ROBBED. 

Day 14: Your OTP

Speaking of which... . Its a crack ship, but I’m all about that allegory for self love (and I just want these two to be alive). Day 15: Favorite quote

Listed plenty of my favorite quotes before, but I’ll pick this one:

“ Life is my paint. Death is my canvas”

Day 16: Rate the skeksis from least favorite to favorite OR rate the gelfling from lest favorite to favorite [or both!]

And if you want my gelfling hot takes, here’s this list (just backwards in context to this post)

Day 17: Opinion on Raunip?

Raunip is a fantastic character. I loved him in Creation Myths and I can’t wait to see what role he’d play in the resistance. And I absolutely love the parallels between him and the urskeks it’s great. 

Day 18: A character that is most similar to you.

I too am a dark-dwelling gremlin who constantly forgets where I put things and crack a few dark jokes at my expense. 

Day 19: Which character do you strongly dislike, why?

This is entirely based on the books, but I find Mera to be awful.  I think it’s because she’s so fake and condescending? When Naia arrived in Sami Thicket, she was acting nice and polite but when the Drenchen asked her why the skeksis never visited Sog Mera responded  “It’s only worth counting what’s valuable”. She continuously disrespects her by calling her pet names even when Naia became maudra. It doesn’t come off as cute, it’s gross. I don’t recall Mera ever apologizing for any of the shit she did to Naia... or Kylan for that matter. She was a pretty neglectful step-mother to him. She doesn’t have an excuse being busy with Maudra stuff because Laesid was a kickass mom to her kids. So in conclusion, fuck this bitch.

Day 20: What do you like so much about the Dark Crystal?

The better question what’s not to love about the Dark Crystal? It has amazing creature design, an expansive world that feels real and alien from our own, having complex and interesting characters as well as villains, the fact that it relies heavily on practical effects a.k.a puppetry... . There’s nothing like it and that’s what makes it so wonderful and unique. It needs to be appreciated more. 

Day 21: Favorite music piece from the soundtrack?

Can’t beat that opening theme. 

Day 22: Your opinion on the sequel comics [Power/Beneath the Dark Crystal]

They have cool concepts and ideas, but they’re not written well. Power is just the movie if it was put into a blender and shredded and ignoring a large portion of established lore for the sake of plot. And Beneath is just a generic fantasy story with the Dark Crystal logo slapped on it. 

Day 23: Which character from the YA novels/comics do you wish we would see more of?

There are plenty of characters that are a given to appear in the series at some point (skekSa, skekLi, urSan, etc). And of course I want to see them, but I really hope Periss shows up (and his brother too). He is one of my favorite characters from the book series and we could use some more Dousan rep!

Day 24: Your opinion on the Age of Resistance comic?

I have yet to read the comics. I’m waiting on them to be part of a collection so I don’t have to buy all of the volumes at once (I prefer owning physical copies). I’ve heard good things about them, especially the story with Hup and the current Mayrin arc. I’m excited to get my hands on them. 

Day 25: The best moment/scene in the series?

There are a lot of great moments, but Rian and Ordon’s fight with skekMal is still my favorite in the entire series. The "Speak For the Dead” scene is a close second.

Day 26: The death of a character that hurt you the most?

He did not deserve this. Fuck you, skekMal. 

Day 27: Your favorite episode from the series?

It’s got to be 4. Not just because a number of my favorite characters debut in this episode, but it’s an important one for the plot. Stakes are being raised, we’re seeing set ups to major story elements and character arcs, and events that impact the rest of the series. It also has a handful of my favorite character moments and interactions. 

Day 28: Your favorite non-skeksis and non-gelfling character? Why?

I’ve come to realize the reasons why I love urVa are the same as why I love skekMal (incredibly appropriate I might say). There’s enough information about him that we get a good understanding on who he is as a character, but still mysterious enough that there’s interest in wanting to know more. Much like his skeksis, he’s unique from the other mystics and thus giving him unique experiences that are fun to speculate. However, the YA novels are responsible for my current fondness of him. 

Day 29: Do you like the urru and skeksis apart or like them as urSkeks together?

A main theme of the Dark Crystal is unity and balance. The main conflict of the franchise are the skeksis, the broken fragments of their urskek self who, according to the writers, “...[have] a dire need for the qualities they lack”. Their only salvation is to become urskeks again and unfortunately many of the pairs never achieve this.  They’re basically a giant allegory for the self and self-love. While we don’t really know what they were like when they were an urskek (aside from SilSol perhaps), we can get some understanding when we look at their pairs and see what traits they share. Speculation is also fun! So as much as I love the skeksis and mystics as individuals, I prefer them to be whole again.

Day 30: What are your wishes for a possible season 2?

A whole bunch of things. I want to see them explore more about the mystics and their lifestyle, having Raunip play a big part in the plot, seeing more of skekSa’s fall from grace from her perspective, the beginning of the Garthim Wars, and more. 

[sporddreki]

"ive wrote an essay months ago about how sasoris puppets work but ive decided not to finish it does anyone want that" Ugh, I am so new to Tumblr, I was trying to figure out how to leave a comment just to say, yes, I would be interested in this.

alright here you go B) i havent touched it ever since so no promises

Guess what - I finally start writing down all the trivia I know about Sasori, because it’s been some kind of strange fixation a while ago and I will regret never having written all of this down, so… this time it’s about Sasori’s specialty: the Hitogugutsu or the Human Puppets. But only from the “mechanical” side rather than the psychological (that comes later). Some warnings: This will be dealing with gore and other pretty gross stuff, so be careful, also English isn’t my first language so excuse any possible mistakes. Without further ado, let’s jump straight into the rabbit hole!

So first things first, what are the Hitogugutsu? If you’ve read or watched Naruto Shippuden and you paid attention to what Sasori is all about, you’ll immediately be confronted by his obscure obsession with puppets that stems from his childhood. As the story went on Sasori has made his first puppet out of a human being, his best friend Komushi to be exact, and then went on with indulging in this gorey procedure for the rest of his life, leaving him with a total of 298 human puppets in his possession. In this analysis we’re going to look at the what rather than the why, how they’re created, how they’re used in battle and what distinguishes them from normal puppets.

As you heard, Hitogugutsu are made from human bodies, preserved and equipped with a bunch of puppet mechanics. His most famous Hitogugutsu, the Third Kazekage puppet, which he has built out of his former village leader, is a great example for what his creations have to be like to adequately perform their jobs - Hitogugutsu are mainly used as a weapon in battle and are a form of “eternal art” in Sasori’s eyes. Means the human puppet has to be 1) effective in physical fights and 2) match Sasori’s ideal picture of what he considers art. These are the two most important points and will become significant throughout the analysis.

Let’s talk about the battle efficiency first. The key part of Hitogugutsu is that they can contain the chakra and the kekkai genkai the “material” (the person the puppet has been made out of) used to have, which can be used by Sasori in battle. Throughout Naruto Shippuden this attribute has only been showed once by the Third Kazekage and his magnetic iron sand ability. We are left to speculate about the other 297 Hitogugutsu and whether they have kept their chakra/kekkai genkai or not - but counting on Sasori’s words, they did. Other than that they’re barely able to distinguish from normal puppets, at least fighting-wise. Keeping that in the back of our heads, the construction of Hitogugutsu will give us the following problems:

1) Easiest first - a bunch of mechanics, weapons and special attacks have to fit in them to be useful in battle. Hence the general puppet structure, which is the best way for Sasori to manipulate them as he pleases.

2) They have to be well preserved to not decay and be robust enough to not immediately break in battle. Proper preservation and a stable foundation is the key here. Additionally, they have to be immune to Sasori’s poison.

3) An intelligent ten-year-old needs to be able to make at least a simplified version of them. Sasori was only a child when he made his first one out of his friend Komushi and it looked authentic.

4) The chakra needs to not just be stored inside the body, but to be able to flow, to be released through physical attacks and to be regenerated. This is essentially the biggest problem of human puppets, since they lack the (functional) organs needed to create chakra in their own, personal chakra nature.

5) Another important detail is his “ultimate” Performance of a Hundred Puppets where he controls all of them individually with a chakra string coming from his chest, which means the mechanics of a puppet must be adjusted in a way to be able for Sasori to do that.

Sounds like a bunch of obstacles Sasori has to overcome, and we with him since that’s part of the analysis - but it’s possible, especially when calculating Naruto logic into it. Before the question comes up, I’m purposely not trying to be as exact to the canon as possible nor do I think all of this was Kishimoto’s masterplan, but i will try to find the most efficient way for Sasori to achieve all of this and stay reasonable at the same time.

*** Now heres the thing: As mentioned above, the main problem seems to be the whole chakra story and we have to question how chakra works and then how Sasori used it for his techniques. We are walking on eggshells here because nearly everything is speculation. Considering the Hitogugutsu kept their chakra inside of them and are able to release it (e.g. the Third Kazekage), they have to have some sort of modified chakra system inside of them. The problem is that this chakra is a consumable, means it’s not an infinite resource and since the bodies are dead there is no way for them to regenerate their chakra. However, Sasori is using it anyway and has pride in stating that he preserves people’s chakra in puppets eternally, so what’s going on here? Here’s the problem - the Naruto logic is completely broke here. I’ve spent days rummaging the Naruto Wiki but there’s no canon way for Sasori to do that, but we know he does it, so he somehow has found a way. If he made some kind of apperature or jutsu that can convert his own chakra to the human puppet’s nature, everything would make sense, but the canon has forsaken me here. However, there were some cases where that actually happened through some kekkai genkai or a ~fortunate coincidence~ so stuff like that is possible in the Naruto universe, for Sasori too, but sadly I can’t describe it here until now. For real, hit me up if you guys have an idea, otherwise I have no choice but to accept that as indescribable Naruto logic and get my own theories and speculation going. ***

Of course we won’t let that stop us - its just time to get our minds going and make some own theses. I’ve got two for you: One that prioritizes the battle efficiency and one Sasori’s view of art.

1) The Chakra conversion theory

The only “renewable chakra source” we have is Sasori himself. Means, if Sasori found a way to convert his own chakra to have the nature of the puppet’s chakra, it would pretty much be solved. This would require some sort of gadget or jutsu, but I won’t be understimating Sasori’s genius - **********

Assuming Sasori has built in a convertor of some sort into the puppet, it gets a little easier. To use chakra in the first place, Sasori has to store it inside of the puppet. Nothing as easy as that coming from a family that predominantly uses Fūinjutsu (or Sealing Techniques) - we’re gonna dig into the lore to make it possible that also a young Sasori could’ve used this technique with a certain effort.

May i present you: The Puppet Brigade of Sunagakure, with Chiyo as its head and a mighty forbidden jutsu in her hands - the One’s Own Life Reincarnation. You may have heard of that when Chiyo revived Gaara, but it was initially for a way different cause, and that is to give life to puppets. It works as following: The user takes their own life energy to revive a dead person, but dies by themselves in return. The brigade wanted to use it to “breathe life” into puppets for more efficiency in battle, but it was banned by Sunagakure for being unethical. You heard it - puppets, so it is possible to transfer life energy into a puppet to bring it to life, somehow. Fortunate for teen Sasori of course, who just began with his cruel passion of making Hitogugutsu. Let’s take a look at how the jutsu works:

Simple. Here comes the interesting part - Sasori could’ve modified this jutsu to store the living person’s chakra inside of the puppet, and even had access to the technique by being involved in the puppet brigade himself. He just needed to rummage through the forbidden files in there. Once you think about it it seems pretty plausible, right? Now let me explain how a modified jutsu would work:

The sealing technique stays the same, but with an extra step, which uses Sasori as its “medium”. He prepares the body as the shell and later seals the person’s chakra into it. The scroll is just a placeholder by the way, Sasori puts the energy in whatever aperture its later kept in and builds it into the puppet. It never got shown in the canon, but maybe it looks similar to his core. I believe the step of sealing the chakra away before preparing the body is important; otherwise the person would die and lose their chakra before Sasori is finished. So that’s how the chakra gets preserved inside of the puppet.

Next step, what happens to the chakra? Since Sasori was fond of collecting rare kekkai genkai users as his material, his puppets need to use their abilities in battle somehow. Not just that, here’s an extremely efficient option of navigating puppets and we can connect that to the Performance of a Hundred Puppets problem.

Each of the Hitogugutsu has an internal chakra “skeleton” (similar to those that you use for Blender models + it’s probably more complicated), which Sasori is able to manipulate using his own chakra. If the convertor idea is correct, he has the ability to let his chakra flow into the puppet to start a circulation inside and trigger the conversion.

How’s that related to the Performance of a Hundred Puppets? When we see Sasori opening his chest lid, a hunded chakra strings pop out at once and every single of them gets connected to one of his puppets. The key part is that Sasori needs only one string to control a puppet with its full range of mobility. And an efficient way to achieve that is by giving them a chakra skeleton he can manipulate, which only needs one point of connection to get the flow going.

Another thing that bugged me was the fact that he only used taijutsu when fighting with all of his puppets at once. If his puppets had their own chakra preserved infinitely and eternally inside of them somehow, he could’ve just bombarded Sakura and Chiyo with all of their jutsus at once but instead he focuses on hand-to-hand combat and weapons. The chakra conversion theory simply explains this with Sasori not having enough chakra to pour into his puppets, since he was at the very end of his battle.

This theory prioritizes the “eternal art” point, since the Hitogugutsu do stay eternally functional and usable. So tldr; the human puppets have an internal chakra skeleton that can be manipulated by Sasori letting his own chakra flow through a theoretical convertor (which might as well be the seal he revamped from Chiyo’s old reanimation jutsu), which turns it into the puppet’s chakra nature and can then be used in battle.

2) The disposable puppet theory

Now, personally, I’m not very fond of this theory since it pretty much dumps the whole “eternal art” point into the garbage, as much as the psychological aspect - but it’s way too legit and rational to ignore. The main idea is that the puppets Sasori used for his technique were “empty” Hitogugutsu with their chakra already consumed which had no choice but to fight without ninjutsu. Meaning once Sasori has preserved their chakra it cannot be regenerated and the puppet is left behind as an empty shell. The reason why I’m still going with this theory is because the Third has a special gadget in his chest that makes him special and that got me thinking - the magnetic apperatus he uses for his Iron Sand abilities.

First of all some information about the Third Kazekage - he’s known for his kekkai genkai that is the Magnet Release, which he inherited through his bloodline. The Iron Sand technique is an adaptation of Shukaku’s (the One-Tails) abilities, which he created himself. When Sasori transformed him into a puppet he kept his abilities, but noticably weakened. Sasori has been using him as his “favorite weapon” ever since he was a young man and he has shown no sign of missing chakra. At the same time he has the (so far) unique apperatus that lets him use his magnetic abilities. So why isn’t the Third emptying out?

Now here’s the thing: The chakra we’re seeing in this picture isn’t the Thirds - its Sasori’s. The puppet has an unique appeatus that artificially creates the Thirds abilities, thus making them weaker than they originally were. Since the Third is both the only puppet we’ve seen keeping all of his abilities and the only one having the apperatus, he’s basically the only actual “eternal” puppet owned by Sasori. His inner chakra system just needs to get flowing by Sasori’s input and activates the magnetism, so it works similar to electricity.

Carrying on, we can see Sasori having holders attached to his back, four in total with the first one already being used in the picture (to shoot fire out of his palms). The second one is for the Performance of a Hundred Puppets, the fourth one is for shooting water out of his hands and well… the third one? No one knows. If we follow the theory of empty and full puppets, the third scroll can be used for puppets that still contain their chakra, while the second holds the empty ones, of course. This could explain Sasori’s reckless fighting style, the empty Hitogugutsu are pretty much “waste” and serve no purpose other than overwhelming the enemy by numbers - not just in the battle against Sakura and Chiyo, but also in the attack of the Land of This. So theoretically Sasori still had an ace up his sleeve but didn’t decide to use it.

As I’ve mentioned above, this theory is logically reasonable but at the same time signs Sasori off as, well, pretty much a liar when it comes to his view of eternal art. After the chakra of one of his puppets is worn off, their special abilities become unusable and the effort of making Hitogugutsu in the first place seems over-the-top to me personally. While their bodies stay “eternal”, their abilities get lost by usage, and later recklessly destroyed by a Performance of a Hundred puppets attack. So tl;dr - chakra regeneration in human puppets is impossible, their abilities can be used once or twice before their chakra runs out, Sasori later only uses them for taijutsu and contradicts his own view of art.

[cherry3point14]

I am Sam, Sam I am

Pairing: Sam x Reader, Sam!Dean x Reader (brief) Warnings:Crack, crack, crackity crack. Also kinda sweet in the beginning. Imagine dipping your crack in sugar? Word Count:2,773. Prompt/Summary:You and Sam are secretly dating behind Dean's back. And that’s all fine until one day you see who you think is Sam, alone. (Prompted by @hoeofnjadaka on Ao3 - I mean I’m just assuming your username is the same here. If not, sorry friend!) A/N: ANOTHER BODY SWAP?!? Yeah, yeah. I know. Played out much? Get off my case guys it’s Sam x Reader this time and also kinda different. Don’t look at me like that, just appreciate this pure, uncut crack for what it is. 

Ao3 if you prefer

You’d just finished killing a pack of werewolves. It’s never an easy task and even with the three of you, it had been an evening full of close calls. You’re surprised none of you are injured beyond some minor cuts and grazes. But since no one is injured Dean goes into town to pick up some food, read: a woman, and that leaves you and Sam alone. The lights are low and the beers are cold. His arm is wrapped around your shoulders and you’re curled into his body, only a little. It’s just comfortable, that’s all. He’s so long anyway, perfect for you to hide away inside his tall frame while you watch movies. Friends definitely do that. Friends sit this close and breathe deeply enough to taste the smell of him in the back of your throat. Being attracted to him had been an accident. You’d just always been close, a leaning post for each other. When he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, talk to Dean you were there. And when you had trouble opening up, or were afraid of losing another friend, he was patient. Over weeks, months and years you’d kind of become each other’s everything. Or at least, he’d become yours. There’s nothing remarkable about tonight. There’s no big conversation or argument that sparks action. It's not a straw that breaks the camel's back. It’s the normal quiet you have during movies. Comfortable and calm. The Zodiac Killer, the film from the seventies, is playing on some late night horror channel and Dean isn’t around to tease Sam about his 'serial killer thing'. So, Sam is safe to lean in and tell you facts about the real case. Parts that the movie got wrong and parts that he’s surprised they got right. Every time he does you’re watching his lips, how carefully they sound out his words. He always speaks precisely when he cares about a topic, never wastes a syllable. “Sam?” He stops mid-sentence and turns to you more fully. Where before he’d been whispering facts while still looking at the screen now he’s looking right at you. Even in the dark, you can see the intensity of his eyes as the light from the TV continues to flicker in them. He has no idea what you’re going to say, you have no idea what you’re going to say, and yet he’s looking at you with the same concentration he does an important book. As if whatever you might say is gospel. “Yeah Y/N?” You don’t know what pushes you except you’re wondering if he’ll kiss you as carefully as he speaks. It’s not the first time you’ve thought it but it is the first time the question has consumed you so completely. It’s a risk. It could ruin your friendship. It could ruin your entire life. That’s if he rejects you and things become awkward. For some reason tonight confidence outweighs doubt. Maybe he’ll kiss you back is louder in your head than you’re just his friend. You slide an arm around his neck, pulling him into you and once you make contact with his skin everything speeds up because there’s no going back now, even if you saw disgust on his face you’d have to go through with it. How would you write this off as anything but trying to smash your face to his? Then your lips touch and that’s the call to action Sam apparently needed. In the blink of an eye, he’s kissing you back with a depth you hadn’t expected. There’s nothing slow or patient about this kiss. It’s fast and dirty. It’s bruising and when his tongue swipes over your lips you imagine it’s as much to soothe them as it is to ask for entry. He rolls you both as his tongue slides into your mouth, he has a hand on your hip and he’s leaning on his other arm, the perfect amount of Sam weight pressing you into the bed. You’re not sure if you kiss him for a second or a lifetime but eventually, he pulls back, keeping his forehead on yours, both of you panting and this smile on his face. It’s wide and happy and utterly heartstopping. You quickly accept that you’ll do anything for this smile as if you wouldn’t have done anything for Sam already. “So, um, you agree?” You ask with your own grin that you’re sure is breaking your face. He laughs down at you, “completely.” And then he’s on you again, kissing the little air you managed to capture straight back out of your lungs. There’s a scream as the zodiac killer begins to kill a woman. It’s a stark enough contrast against the muddling, quiet dialogue of the film that you break apart like it’s a case. Laughing some more when you realize it isn’t and ultimately breaking apart completely when you hear a key in the door. Dean had to have been drunk. It’s the only explanation for why he doesn’t see how red and swollen your lips are, or how tousled and messy your hair is. He confirms his state when he falls messily onto the other bed. You’re somewhat frozen in shock, luckily Sam doesn’t miss a beat. “Dude, where’s the food?” Sam’s voice is convincing enough that even you believe he’s hungry. Dean waves a hand in the air like he’s batting a fly, “her name was Gina.” “Considerate of you,” you finally catch up enough to chastise him. Not that it makes a lick of difference considering quiet snores that start coming from the Dean shaped mass on the bed.

Four Weeks Later  

There’s something nice about having the place to yourself, although you’ll never admit that to Sam and Dean. You may just break their little hearts. There’s a peace in it though. You can cook whatever you want without Dean barking at you to make sure you clean up properly this time. You can read any of the books in the library without Sam reminding you to put it back in the right place. Wait, were you a nightmare to live with? Whatever. The boys are gone and life is good. You know Dean is going to find some mess when he gets back, there was an incident with the blender that you’d rather not talk about and you know he’ll sniff out a stray drop you’ve missed like the bloodhound that he is. So, you’ve preemptively baked him an apology pie. It’s only Pillsbury pie crust, you’re not that good a baker, but you made a pretty great apple filling all by yourself, which should earn you some pretty sweet brownie points. And Sam? Well, he may or may not find some books missing from his room and you may or may not have lost his place in every single one. Although you had some very different ideas on how to make that up to him. Ideas that may require sending Dean away somewhere. Especially since he doesn’t know what you do with his brother at night. Gun to your head, you probably couldn’t coherently explain why you’re still keeping it a secret. That first night everything had happened so quickly and then Dean came back before you could really talk to each other. The day after you’d both gone on a food run first thing in the morning if only to share a lot of sheepish smiles and blushing cheeks. It was all ten tons of adorable considering all you had to do was close your eyes to be reminded of his weight on top of you. At first, you agreed to the secrecy because he’s your best friend and if whatever you were doing didn’t work out it would surely be easier to recover in private. At least that sounded reasonable. Now it’s fairly obvious that you have something. Maybe not wedding bells and Christmas cards but it’s lasting at least. It’s just, well, now the secret thing is freaking hot. We’re not just talking a quick roleplay and move on with your lives hot. It’s all you can do not to jump him at breakfast. It’s every forbidden relationship you’ve never had rolled into one. And it’s not even forbidden. You’re fairly sure Dean would be happy for you both, you hope anyway. But now the longer you keep it a secret the more wrong it feels. The time apart has only made it worse. They’ve only been gone two days. Two days! You’ve taken longer naps. And yet here you are sitting at the map table on your laptop and looking up an excuse for you to leave with Sam immediately upon their return. Turns out, you needn’t have bothered. The door to the bunker is heavy and booming so even if you hadn’t have been right there you’d have heard it pretty quickly. However, you are there with a perfect view of the entryway, just as Sam ducks down to come in. The problem occurs when he doesn’t duck his head quite enough and slams his forehead into the thick metal door frame. “Son of a bitch!” He shouts with a strange inflection at the end. It’s familiar just, not from Sam. You're distracted by his injury and you jump up from your seat to meet him at the bottom of the stairs, “show me, you big baby.” Not once does it occur to you that Sam has walked through that door a thousand times without injury. Not when he leans down to show you his slightly red forehead and you ghost your fingers over it, gently feeling for a lump and at the same time running your fingers through his hair. “You’ll live. Where’s Dean?” “Dean? He jumps back from your touch and creases his brow, apparently shocked and offended by your innocent line of questioning. “He’s, erm, at the library! Yeah, I- I just dropped him off.” You have a library. It’s quite literally right behind you and has more lore books than the local one. That’s not taking into account that Dean is the one at the library and not Sam. None of that matters because that’s not what you decide to focus on, “um, are telling me that he’s not here?” “That’s what I said.” “We have the place to ourselves?” “That’s what Dean is at the library means.” Your voice drops into something akin to the verbal equivalent of velvet and you lean into him, looking up through your lashes. “Then why am I not already naked?”

Before he can react you slide your arms around his neck and bring him crashing you meet your lips. The kiss is different, softer, for all of the second it lasts before Sam has his hands on your shoulders pushing you back. He keeps you at arm's length as he splutters, “Y/N, what the hell?” “Oh come on, you said yourself you just dropped him off which means we have some time.” You slip past his hands, fingers nimbly unbuttoning his shirt and lips pressing kisses against the taut skin of his chest as it’s revealed. “Wanna see how many times you can make me...?” “Woah, woah, woah!” He pushes you back again, shirt half unbuttoned and your ego significantly more bruised than his forehead. “Are you and Sam…?” He raises his brows questioningly and makes a hand motion involving one finger sliding into a circle made with his other hand. You don’t know what's worse, the rejection or the anxiety suddenly eating at your stomach. “Sam, what’s going on?” His face pales of color and he scratches the back of his neck while he avoids looking directly into your eyes, “see, funny thing about that. I’m kinda not Sam.” “What?” The sickly feeling is climbing from your belly to your throat but you still need to hear more words. “Well, me and Sam kind of switched bodies. Accidently and it was no ones fault so let’s not go pointing fingers at anyone, and he is really at the library, my body anyway…” “Dean!?” The guilty look on his face is all the confirmation you need. “Oh my god!” You take a step back with a scandalized look on your face as you clutch your shirt to your chest as if it’s your buttons that are half undone. “Don’t give me that! You’re the one who’s- who’s…” he wags a finger through the air between you and him, or Sam’s body anyway. “You’re the one who jumped me like a damn spider monkey. And since when are you and Sam? You know!” It’s as clear as day now that this is, very much, not your Sam. In fact, it’s so obviously Dean that you almost want to slap yourself for being so blind. You’re far more tempted to slap Sam though. Or Dean anyway. “That is frankly none of your business. Why the hell didn’t you say something sooner? You’re the one who said you dropped Dean off!” “Technically I did. He’s got my good looks and my ID anyway, that makes him Dean Winchester!” An epiphany hits you sideways and you finally ask the most obvious question, not knowing it answers everything else, “wait a second, how did you get like this? You weren’t even hunting a witch or anything.” Suddenly he’s defensive. You’ve finally asked the right question, “we may have been doing a spell to track the pair of vetala and I might have, maybe, got some of the wording wrong. And two of the ingredients. And we might not know exactly how to put ourselves back.” You rub your forehead in frustration and let out the angriest sigh you can muster. “I guess I better start doing some research.” You turn on your heel an stomp into the library. Dean calling after you with Sam’s voice, “don’t think we’re not gonna talk about the fact that I can still taste your tongue down my throat!” “It’s Sam’s throat genius!”

Sam, in Dean’s body, sits down next to you with a large book in his hands. “I heard someone isn’t talking to Dean.” “He’s an idiot.” You grumble, not taking your eyes off the page. “Yeah, but we should probably cut him some slack since we didn’t tell him about us for, like a month.” Your shoulders roll back involuntarily but still tense. It doesn’t make him any less right, “I get that. But I kissed him! And I tried to- let’s just say I was happy to see you.” He opens his book not really looking at the page and for the first time, you turn your head to look at him. It’s Sam and you know it is. Not just because he told you so but his facial expressions are still his and he shakes his head like he’s expecting to have more hair. Hell, when you saw him walk over out the corner of your eye he walked across the room like he’s four inches taller. “You technically kissed me you know.” This time he’s pretending to read and not looking at you. “It’s unbelievably weird to hear Dean say that you know?” “Yeah,” he chuckles and it’s a little too Dean, “it’s weird for me too. Did you know he’s got this backache that just doesn’t go away?” You let out a laugh at that since you know how sensitive Dean is about his age. “Ok, noted. I’m so saving that information for when you two are back in the right bodies.” “Glad I could help make you smile again,” except as he says it he reaches out for your hand. It’s not unusual since he would sometimes squeeze your hand under the table or when you’re out sight. But now it’s Dean and even though you know it’s Sam you still recoil from his touch, “no offense but that’s super weird.” He's in Dean's body and yet he retained those damn puppy dog eyes in the switch. “Dean gets to kiss my girl and she won’t even hold my hand?” You sigh. He’s right, obviously. It’s a fairly innocuous thing and it’s not like Dean is repulsive, it’s just weird. It’s weird and messy and an extra slice of more weird. “First of all, I didn't know it was Dean when I... anyway how about this? Instead of holding your hand there’s a pie in the kitchen that we can tease him with?” He allows you to distract him and his face falls with a sudden horrific realization. If you didn’t know any better you might think it was another apocalypse, “do not let him near pie while he's in my body!”

5eva tags: @divadinag @darthdeziewok @fluentinfiction @witch-of-letters  @supernatural-teamfreewillpage @magnitude101999 @alexwinchester23

[see-arcane]

First, A+++ link, lots of good info 👀

Second, I had picked up on that bit about Bramward cherry-picking ‘Dracula’ simply because it was a cool title to work with and only sprinkling in some Vlad the Impaler hints for extra cool points. As to official history, I always assumed Stoker was likely fudging more than referencing genuine reality and lore, throwing things in the blender to make a patchwork that suited the book. But even without the mass conclusion-jumping made by pop culture and cockeyed novel fans and historians deciding for everyone that Stoker’s Dracula was GUARANTEED Vlad the Impaler-Dracula--despite the conundrum of the Count referring to himself as part of a Hungarian demographic among other inconsistencies, etc--I think that very murkiness plays into Book Dracula’s whole deal.

I wouldn’t put it past this character to have been present at multiple wars through history in that territory and engaged in bloodshed (battle) and bloodshed (dinner). In addition to being just as misleading in his presentation as in everything else he does. Was he a noble while alive? In keeping with what the linked essay shows, I’d put good money on it. But which noble? What level in nobility? What country? Possibly Hungarian, as he mentioned. Unless that was a lie. Unless it wasn’t. Maybe? I wouldn’t put it past him to impersonate multiple parts of his status for personal gain. Hell, how much do his hired human lackeys even know about him? Or think they know? This guy’s full of shit on his best day (night), so even in-canon I wouldn’t know what to think.

Even taking Van Helsing’s* (*Stoker’s) ramble about his probable origins, Scholomance training included, into account, everything needs to be taken with a grain of salt because whether Bramothy meant it or not, his whole novel is brimming with loose ends and contradictory info and general incongruities important to the plot. 

(Lucy needs a prayer session and a big ritual as a mere newborn vampire VS the Brides and 400+ year old Mega Vampire Dracula who just need a stab in the heart and a chopped head? What?? And of course there’s the nitpicking about Lucy’s hair color and Abe’s completely scientifically inaccurate rambling to Jack when he was in his pre-vampire reveal pep talk, and so on. Much as I love this book, there’s no ignoring how much this thing is rough around the edges editing/fact-checking/consistency/bias-wise.)

Which is all a longwinded way of saying, whatever *official* Dracula Stoker had in mind is just a Frankensteined pile of Cool Creepy Stuff he harvested from his biased texts and travelogues. He isn’t Vlad the Impaler any more than he’s any of the other people through history who wore a Dracula title. But by centering it on Vlad Tepes III (a guy who was known for the occasional bit of cunning misdirection, with one account of his death claiming he was slain by his own men while dressed as the enemy for spying purposes) as the most likely Dracula to be Count Dracula, no matter how extraordinary his acts were or weren’t according to legends and history books, it lends the most weight to Book Dracula’s own gravitas...

...Which, Book Dracula would absolutely love. No matter how true it was or wasn’t. Dude loves a good lie when it suits him/his ego. Ask Jonathan. (And, with how absolutely inundated Vlad Tepes III is with so much overlap of truth versus propaganda headaches, it would certainly vibe with the Count’s love of being a great big enigma with a scary reputation. Isn’t that right, Count DeVille? (Nerd.)

Whoever the Count was before he was the Count, whatever nationality he is (or says he is), it feels thematically right to let him have the ~Famous Dracula~ as his backstory, if only because it fits better than just keeping him as Schrodinger's Dracula with no solid background. 

...Though it’d be delicious to see an adaptation that reveals he’s a completely unrelated Dracula who never saw a battle in his life except to mosey around drinking the leftovers. (Poser nerd.)

However! All this justification aside, I was very much not aware of the revisionist lens put on the strigoi vampire myth itself. That while Romania does have monsters called strigoi, and they do sometimes drink blood, and are sometimes ex-dead, they are not vampires! Romania did not/does not have any genuine vampiric folklore, and Stoker was working off stories hailing from Hungary. Romania’s closest thing to a vampire is more like a weird evil wizard scenario (which fits with Dracula’s dark magic and all, but he got that at the underground Devil School, so). Also, it probably doesn’t help that when you Google ‘strigoi vampire history’ you get a whole wall of links saying YUP, THOSE ARE ROMANIAN VAMPIRES RIGHT THERE, PAL, LOOK AT ALL THESE WEBSITES THAT SAY SO!*

*Frankly, this all scratches a particular itch I have about folklore with named creatures/monsters/gods as a whole when it comes to Confirmed Tales and Myths and Methodology for Dealing With Them, et cetera. And that is that humanity has only ever guessed at the things we cannot understand, giving them names and hoping/assuming our methods for protection will guard us from all we pretend to understand.

Not everything that drinks blood is a vampire. Not all vampires go as mist, not all vampires lack reflections, not all vampires cringe from the holy. 

Werewolves appear at the full moon because it’s the brightest time to hunt--every night is a night that werewolves exist. Who benefits most when you waste your good silver on bullets for them? Who started that myth when there has not been a single werewolf pelt ever collected, a single body found with a silver bullet in it? (They pick the metal out like fleas from their sturdy hides and go home richer.)

Fairies who lived before Christ was even a thought and love the sound of gonging church bells. Fairies who enjoy salt and lick up the circles you sprinkle. Fairies playing horseshoes because the iron allergy is only as common as humans with no tolerance to peanuts. 

Just...the idea of so many places having bogeymen and otherworldly entities that have a few traits that match others’, and then people making assumptions that these must all be The Same Creature and must surely quail before The Exact Same Protective Measures, only to find themselves dangerously wrong? I love that shit in a supernatural story. 

(What’s the difference between a golden retriever and a wolf? Between a black bear and a grizzly? If you assumed there was none because they share a relation or a silhouette, you’d be dead inside a minute.)

But, all that juicy narrative stuff isn’t the point here. Pointing out the revisionist BS is. So, shoutout to @atundratoadstool for the handy educational essay in the link, and double shoutout to you, @virovac​ --I love me some good history bits and scores of lore. Especially when it points out things I’d never caught onto in the first place. Thank you!

One of the reasons why I dislike Dracula interpretations that try to humanize vampires in general and Count in particular is that it makes this part meaningless: "I shall be glad as long as I live that even in that moment of final dissolution, there was in the face a look of peace, such as I never could have imagined might have rested there." Even the vicious Count, who is not symphatetic in this book in slightest, has that look of peace! Even he seems happy to be able to rest in peace!

I see that, absolutely. At least for the Brides' sake. In Dracula's case, I still think it's a little more skewed.

If Dracula really was Vlad the Impaler, he was an absolute bastard alive and undead. He was always destined for Hell, period. That being said, Vlad Tepes III had tons of legends and propaganda surrounding him--most of it heinous, but some heroic. One of those heroic legends?

Old Vlad wasn't just adamant about dealing out death and torture to enemies and/or unpatriotic subjects, but, get this--the strigoi. Romanian vampires. Granted, this is just as likely a tall tale as a historical record; a lot of the exact details surrounding Vlad's exact deeds (and even his death) are murky. But assuming the guy really was as zealous about his hatred and grisly destruction of vampires as his living targets, that suggests his own vampirism wasn't something he wanted.

If Van Helsing's tale about him attending the Scholomance was true, I could even picture Vlad getting suckered by his Devilish tutor in classic Faustian fashion--He wants power? He wants strength? He wants to be feared by his enemies and to outlast them all? Sure, buddy. No problem.

Cue Old Scratch whacking him with a case of that loathed vampiritis. (Always watch that fine print, Vlad.)

So yes, I could see him being relieved at the end of his stint as Count Dracula. He was always happy to be a monster; just not this one.

[tipsycad147]

Aloe

General Information

Scientific Name: A. Vera Barbadensis

Other Names: Barbados, Cape, Curaiao, Socotrine, Zanzibar aloe, aloe vera, burn plant, medicine plant

Although there are 240+ species of aloe in Europe, Asia, Africa and the Americas, only four have been identified as having medicinal value to humans. Of these four, Aloe Vera Barbadensis is the one you’re most likely to run into.

Although it belongs to the lily family, this succulent plant more closely resembles a cactus in appearance and habit. Its fleshy leaves, somewhat spiky at the edges and arranged in basal rosettes, can be mottled. Under ideal circumstances, the plant produces yellow, tubular flowers in the summer.

History and Folklore

Common lore tells us that if you grow an aloe plant in your house, it will help prevent household accidents, particularly burns. In Africa, aloe plants are hung over doors to bring luck and drive away evil.

Aloe originated in Africa but has spread throughout the world. The first written record of the use of aloe vera dates back to 2200 B.C.E. and a clay tablet from Sumeria.

The Greek physician Dioscorides (41 C.E.- 68 C.E.) travelled with the armies of Rome and sang aloe’s praises in his famous herbal. He said the juices of the plant had the power of ‘binding’ and ‘inducing sleep’ and that it ‘loosens the belly, cleansing the stomach’. Dioscorides stated also that the sap was a treatment for boils, haemorrhoids, bruises and mouth irritation and was good medicine for the eyes. He used the pulverised leaf to stop the bleeding of wounds.

The Egyptians referred to aloe as the plant of immortality and included it in funerary offerings. They also considered aloe the plant of eternal youth, and Queen Cleopatra purportedly used it as a daily beauty product.

There is a reference in the Bible about the apostles applying aloe to the wounds of Jesus.

It is sacred among Egyptian followers of Mohamed who hang aloe above the doorway when they visit his shrine.

Some people in the Congo region of Africa, use aloe as part of hunting rituals, coating the body with the juice to obscure the scent of the hunter.

Propagation

Those who live in the south may grow aloe outdoors. It can withstand freezing temperatures as long as the ground does not freeze, but the plant may still lose vital nutrients if the leaves face exposure to temperatures below 40 degrees Fahrenheit.

Luckily, aloe thrives as an attractive houseplant.

Grow your aloe in clay pots in the sunniest window in your house. Mix a little sand with your potting soil for the plant. Allow the soil to dry between waterings and don’t overwater. The leaves of a healthy aloe plant should be plump and fleshy. If they shrivel, it’s not getting enough water, and if it turns yellow, it’s not getting enough sun or it’s getting too much water. If it turns red and gets shrivel-y, it might be getting too much sun.

Harvesting & Storage

Harvest and use it as needed. Cut a leaf from the plant a peel away the hard skin to get to the gel inside. The plant will seal up the cut and heal itself.

Magical Attributes

Aloe is associated with feminine energy, the element of water, the moon, and the astrological sign of cancer. It is sacred to Venus/Aphrodite.

Aloe is used as an amulet against accidents and misfortunes, especially around the home. It is also used for love and beauty and all spells related to lunar energies.

Household Use

Aloe is a wonderful addition to facial cleansers and moisturisers. It speeds the healing of acne and reduces scarring.

Apply aloe vera gel to the hair before styling to keep your hair smooth, shiny and manageable and to reduce frizz and dandruff and prevent hair loss. Add some rosemary essential oil to strengthen hair and further prevent damage and hair loss.

Aloe vera can also be used as a personal lubricant.

Healing Attributes

Aloe very gel is antibacterial, anesthetic, anti-inflammatory, and antifungal and increases blood flow to the skin where applied, stimulating healing. This makes it useful for burns, sunburn, rashes, poison Oak, Poison Ivy, diaper rash, ringworm, frostbite, acne, any minor cut or abrasion, and just about any skin problem you might have. Just peel away the skin of a leaf and apply the gel to your skin. For a large area, you can place some peeled leaves in the blender and add the goo to your bath for a good soak.

Aloe is also a gentle soother of sore nipples for breastfeeding mothers. It tastes terrible though and can cause tummy aches, so you’ll want to wipe off well before nursing.

Internally, aloe has been used for constipation and intestinal blockages. However, its use can cause some serious intestinal and abdominal cramping, so use it with caution. It should not be used by anyone with a chronic intestinal condition.

Studies have shown that aloe can strengthen the immune system and help reduce blood sugar. It has been the subject of serious studies related to the treatment of HIV and cancer.

Aloe vera is also used to increase both male and female fertility. Some livestock breeding facilities use aloe vera to coat and protect stored sperm. Some research indicates that aloe vera extract taken internally may increase sperm count in male mice whose sperm counts were lowered through exposure to radiation, and may also provide some protection against sperm abnormalities. Aloe douches are also used to increase the fertility of female livestock.

Culinary Use

Some health food stores sell aloe juice, but the risks of diarrhoea, cramping, and female problems are greater than the benefits of drinking this juice on a regular basis.

Additional Notes

Some people are very allergic to aloe, so use with caution.

Aloe juice is often sold in health food stores. Pregnant women and those who are menstruating should never drink this as it can cause cramping, haemorrhage, and miscarriage.

Aloe is a wonderful houseplant but the outside of the leaf is very irritating to delicate inner tissues. Keep it out of the reach of pets and small children.

https://witchipedia.com/book-of-shadows/herblore/aloe/

[greatdrams]

Does age really matter in whisky? Some more thoughts on the age-less bottle debate…

Every whisky writer, blogger, producer, drinker, consultant, marketeer and sales person has an opinion on whether whisky is better with or without an age statement on the bottle.

Now, last year I wrote about this and asked various questions around the subject and explained that my viewpoint is that by removing the shackles of having to design and formulate whisky to certain age statements, you actually unleash the creativity of a Master Blender or Master Distiller to create great liquids that could be a mix of young and old.

I wrote about this a couple of years ago here, if you're interested. 

But why do people get so hung up on age statements?What is it about whisky that means older Whiskies are better and younger ones are worse?Why is there such disdain in the whisky blogging community when a new limited edition NAS is released and priced above £50?

For me it is a bit of a shame that whisky producers are instantly given a load of grief when a bottle such as Laphroaig's Lore at £75 or Ardbeg's Dark Cove at £96 are released, to a chorus of '... Not another overpriced NAS...' and '... It's alright for the price, one of the better NAS releases this year...'.

Surely it should not be about the NAS-ness is the main response to a new release?

Recently I was fortunate enough to speak at length with Richard Pattersen on the subject whilst at The Dalmore distillery, and he made a superb point:

“None of my counterparts would ever release anything unless it was up to a very high standard, it just won’t happen, their reputation is always on the line. It takes time to bring whisky together in loving union but age is not the most important thing"

On a recent vineyard visit I started thinking about the NAS debate and how in wine it is perfectly acceptable to blend young and old to create interesting expressions without compromising on quality and without being labelled 'alright... for an NAS wine'.

When speaking with a winemaker in Carcassone, southern France, he explained that young vines and old vines create a healthy mix of flavours, leading to a solid product.

Specifically, the younger vines gave him more spritely, uninhibited flavour profiles, where the old were used for fruitier notes in the end product, and that was the established way of doing things; to blend wines together to create perfect favours.

Another analogy we could use here is that both winemakers and Master Blenders / Distillers are like painters - the person has all the colours on their board to mix together and create different hues and colour depths and whatnot then choose the best ones to create a perfect picture.

Mixing, matching, choosing high notes, low notes, but all with the vision in their mind about what they want the end image to be, showcasing the dexterity of their talent and, in whisky's case, the distillery's character; not creating something that meets the requirements to stamp a number on it.

When speaking with Richard Paterson on this subject, he passionately answered my question thus:

"All my counterparts would never release anything unless it was up to a very high standard, it just won’t happen, their reputation is always on the line. It takes time to bring whisky together in loving union but age is not the most important thing."

For example; The Dalmore's 25 Year Old single malt, a divine whisky, has only 1% 25 Year Old whisky in there, the rest is made up of much more aged liquids. You don't get to know the full composition unless you ask a few questions and have access to certain people but it is interesting once you know that the age is clearly important for this release as it is one of their marquee expressions but that the number is effectively second vs. the liquid quality itself.

This debate will roll on, and several brand teams I’ve spoken to don’t understand the negativity.

Interestingly, new-to-market whisky consumers will be decreasingly reliant on age statements on bottles to navigate the whisky category.

What are your thoughts on the debate?

[divider]Here are some of your questions on the subject answered...[/divider]

[toggler title="Is the Scottish Whisky industry running out of real Whisky?" ]

It’s common sense; waiting for every malt’s coming of age party before it can be bottled puts limitations on proceedings. There are only so many times 21 years come to pass, usually once every couple of decades or so.

It’s not really that we’re running out, more that we have to be willing to be patient, because no one could have predicted this level of demand 20 years ago. But yes, there is a lack of mature stock, and that has prompted the NAS trend.

Of course there are some cases, such as the Rosebank Distillery in the Scottish Lowlands, where production has closed down and we’re feasting on the last of the nectar as it comes to maturation. But there are also new distilleries hoping to begin production, such as Shetland’s Blackwood Distillery in Scotland.

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In addition to the lack of mature stock and closing distilleries, NAS has arguably come to pass in an attempt to make Whisky production more creative and shift the ‘focus’ from age to other aspects.

However, there are financial motives, because this is planet Earth. Every year that stock matures, 2% of the liquid a year evaporates, known as the angel’s share. Sharing with the angels is expensive, and the younger the Whisky, the more we can ensure the angel’s don’t take their milkshake from our yard.

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If you don’t spot an age on the label, you’ve spotted an NAS Whisky. Hey presto, if only bringing yourself to drink one and escaping the stigma was that easy.

The spirits are usually given a clever, distracting name in place of their age. Classic offenders include things such as ‘Traditional Cask’ (it’s age-old tradition, the same, nothing to see here), ‘Four Wood’ (who cares about years when you can count trees?) or something flash and Gaelic like ‘Cairdeas’ (which could, in some fictitious realms, mean ‘really old’).

In NAS’ defence, their names generally denote their focus. So once you’re over the fact that you’re having an affair with a spring chicken, which generally people manage to do in life, you can enjoy finding out about this malt’s alternative forte.

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