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violetsiren90 · 1 year ago

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All I Haven't Said | Namjoon/Reader

💜 Chapter 3: Part 1 💜

Table of Contents: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 (part 1), Chapter 3 (part 2)

Pairing: idol!Namjoon/f!Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU; idol AU; chapter fic; strangers to lovers; a bit of idiots to lovers, tbh; slow burn; eventual romance; eventual smut; angst (life is messy & hearts are complex); OT7 featured

Summary: You found your soulmate - or rather, he found you. Turns out he's an idol of much acclaim who needs you for very real and unglamorous reasons. What could become of two hearts so used to giving of themselves when they are confronted with needing each other?

Chapter Word Count: ~6k

Chapter Warnings: This fic is 18+, as is all my work and my page as a whole; Talk and depictions of cancer, its treatment, and the symptoms of both; implication of some disregard for personal agency by entertainment industry; character experience and description of disassociation; flashbacks of a distressing situation; soulmate skinship; cursing; conversations surrounding soulmates and sex; character experiences an emotional breakdown; light embarrassment; CONFLICT (you knew it was coming, right?), there is plenty of fluffy stuff too I PROMISE 😂😅

Author's Note: Wow. It's been a minute. If you're still reading this story, thank you for sticking with me, and I apologize for the stretch of time between updates. For the longest time, I just couldn't get this part right...and then it was far too long, so I split it up, and I'm still editing the second, and (potentially) third parts. I got several messages from readers who were worried I might have abandoned this fic, and let me assure you, far from it! I am not a speedy writer, and struggle with doubting if what I'm putting on the page is good enough, so sometimes it takes me a minute to update, but let me assure you, these characters are so special to me and so alive in me, and I ask thank you for your patience as I work to tell their story! Thank you for your lovely words of encouragement and feedback on the story - I appreciate each and every one of them!!

P.S. If you want to join the tag list, drop me a comment or ask!

P.P.S. If no one has told you yet today, you're loved and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜

"I needed the light of your energy, I looked around, devouring hope."

~Pablo Neruda

Chapter 3: My Windows Ache

"FUCKING FINALLY."

"Hey, Di."

"How dare you ghost me for the forty-eight most interesting hours of your life?!"

"Well, I was low-key occupied..."

"TELL ME EVERYTHING."

You sighed, settling down on a shaded bench in the garden grounds of the hospital to which you had escaped for a little privacy and an important phone call or two.

"Uh oh. That was your 'things are complicated' sigh," Diana prodded.

Your eyes tracked a swallowtail as it flitted from azalea to azalea.

"Well, things certainly aren't conventional or straight-forward, that's for sure. But where's the fun in understanding the basic parameters of what you're getting yourself into on a life-altering scale, right?"

"Ummmm...what does that mean? You met him, right?"

You could barely hear your sister's question over the crinkle of plastic in the background.

"Yeah, I did. We bonded too."

"Oh mah gah!!" Diana choked out amidst sounds of crunchy chewing. "So what's he like?"

You thought for a moment.

"He's kind and intelligent. Obviously extremely resilient. His presence is impressive, but he has something about him that's very disarming. He's kind of clumsy and at moments almost...shy? Like, I don't know what I expected, but there's this sweetness to him that you wouldn't anticipate from someone in his position."

"As a cancer patient?"

"As an idol."

You sighed again.

"I don't know...he's..."

Diana let out a strangled sound and uttered an enthusiastic string of words you couldn't make out.

"I have no idea what you just said. Could you please decide whether you want to talk to me or consume an entire bag of Doritos?"

"Hey, it's dinner time here!" she whined, "And I said," her voice quickly changed to take on a smug sing-song tone, "That last sigh was your smitten-kitten one..."

"It was not!" you cut her off sharply. "And get every single idea of Namjoon and I as a couple out of that scheming head of yours because he's very much taken. I'm meeting his fiancée for lunch today."

"What? He's engaged?"

Diana let out an exasperated huff.

"Why didn't they tell you about this right off the bat? You're going to be the soulmate of a married man? What does that even mean? This is bullshit."

You had a hard time disagreeing with her there. It was, in fact, bullshit that Namjoon's team had kept his relationship status a secret. Would it have changed your decision? Probably not. This had been about saving Namjoon's life, not some bizarre attempt at matchmaking. But having a third person to consider, and so intimately, as part of the equation for the rest of your earthly life felt like something you should have been made more immediately aware of. Navigating your boundaries with your soulmate had already been complex enough without introducing the prospect of being a fixture in his married life. When Namjoon had breached the prospect of meeting her, he had been taken aback at your surprise - he, like you, had assumed that Hybe's representation had disclosed everything of significance.

"So it's a good thing I came here as a lifeline, not a mail-order bride," you reminded your sister, "And that seems to be working, by the way. His vitals are already stable. They stabilized overnight, in fact. And his white blood cell count was way up this morning, which is good because I guess he was experiencing immunosuppression from the chemo."

"Oh, nice," Diana murmured.

You had to remind yourself that she was young and excitable, and not to be annoyed at the disappointment that he crept into her tone. However, never one to be down for long, her voice brought its usual bright mischief through the speaker as she posed her following question.

"By the way...how was bonding?"

She had said it with an inescapably salacious undertone, which is why, you told yourself, heat had begun to creep up the base of your neck. You stammered, switching the phone from one ear to the other as you bought yourself time to reassemble your decorum.

"Ah...I mean...it was...intense?"

"Ooooohhhh," Diana trilled, only making you more uncomfortable as the heat spread from your neck to your cheeks, "Intense, huh? Like in a good way?"

You squirmed uncomfortably where you sat, thoughts of Namjoon's pleasure-stricken face and the strength of his hand and how his skin felt against your own hitting your hippocampus like a flash flood.

"Y/n?"

"It was fine, okay? And it worked - so that's what's important."

"....Okaaay..." Diana drawled skeptically.

You scrambled for another talking point.

"That kid visited. The one who came to the States - Jungkook. And another one of the members too - Jim...Jimin? I'm still trying to get their names straight. Some of them don't go by their actual names on stage - Namjoon is RM...but you knew that. Anyway, I digress. Both the boys were really sweet. Seems like they're all very close. I'm supposed to meet the rest of the members at some point next week at dinner. They wanted to have a sort of 'last supper' for us since we're probably going to start rejecting food soon."

"That's cool, you get to meet the whole team! Oh my gosh, you're just going to casually have dinner with BTS...this is still so unreal!"

"Yep," you affirmed, a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth.

Namjoon had hit you with a couple of whoppers last night, but this was one you were actually looking forward to. You told Diana all about your first two days in Seoul - about the impressive hospital and its kind staff. About meeting Namjoon, and his condition. About how everything was still so fresh and new. About how so many things were still unsettled, so many questions unanswered.

"So are you nervous?"

"About what?"

"Meeting his girlfriend."

You had been so wrapped up in filling Diana in on it all that you had actually forgotten about the impending lunch date. As you pulled the phone away from your ear to check the time, your stomach lurched.

"Shit, I better get going. It's almost eleven-thirty." You sprang up and started quickly back toward the building.

"That wasn't an answer," Diana scoffed, "But, hey, sis?"

"Yeah?" You pressed the "up" button on the elevator.

"Don't be."

You smiled.

"Love you, Di."

"Love you too. And so does anyone worth a damn."

After deciding that you smelled like outside, you showered quickly then slipped into caramel-colored corduroys and an off-white tee. You rummaged around the small suitcase Matt had brought from the hotel for you in search of a sweater. After several exasperating minutes of unsuccessful digging, you heaved the bag of laundered clothes that had been returned to you by the hospital staff this morning, having gone through much of the what the Hybe staff had initially pilfered from your luggage in the last two days.

You grumbled in relief as you pulled out your dark green cardigan and slipped it over your shoulders, wondering what the hell the hospital laundry services had done to stretch it out so badly. But, you didn't have time to fuss - so you bunched up the sleeves and headed to the opposite end of the hospital's outdoor grounds where you suspected Namjoon and his guest were already waiting.

The hospital grounds were extensive and beautiful, sporting a garden that extended from the western wing, and a lawn punctuated by traditional pavilions to the east. He had pointed out the one he had reserved to you last night - tucked away in the shade of the large gingko trees flanking the little man-made stream that delineated the border of the grounds.

As you made your way toward the shady spot you chided yourself for being so uneasy - everyone surrounding your soulmate had been as lovely and warm and welcoming as he had been, and the woman he loved would likely be no exception. After Namjoon had disclosed that she was a musician like he was, you had done a bit of online recon before going to bed that night.

Her given name was Kim Hyung-seo, but her stage name, by which she was well-known, was Bibi. She was four years Namjoon's junior, but seemed nearly as ambitious. From what you could tell, she seemed to share a similar drive for artistry and honesty in her musical process as her future husband, and though her tendency for loose-canon candidness had landed her in hot water more than once, her earnest sincerity had engendered her to the hearts of her peers and fans alike. In an industry that seemed to often censor and restrict women, Hyung-seo didn't seem to give much credence to the rules. You liked that. You were actually kind of excited to get to know her a bit and ask her about her art - you had always been a woman's woman, and being in the company of strong feminine energy was something you found deeply empowering and grounding. You anticipated that your soulmate's girlfriend was someone you could respect, and you allowed yourself to venture to hope that feeling would be mutual.

You trotted up the steps of the pavilion and took in its contents. The center had been fitted with a low, round table bearing a colorful and mouthwatering spread of gogi, bibim guksu, gimbap, and banchan. Cushions had been placed on the floor for seating, but none bore the lunch companions you had been anxious not to keep waiting. You were about to take your place at the table when a figure moving near the creek caught your eye.

You moved to the far side of the structure, to see your soulmate deeply engaged in conversation...with a duck.

He was standing near the edge of the water, his tall figure clad in silky modern navy blue hanbok. The top was untied and hung loosely over a white tee - the only contrast to the deep muted tone apart from his cognac loafers. He wore a dark beanie pulled low on his head, which was bowed in affectionate greeting to a juvenile Gadwall who had paddled away from his family to sample the little bits of starchy fluff that the stranger had sprinkled onto the water.

You pressed your palms against the painted wood, taking him in with a smile as he crouched down, extending a bit of bread between his fingers slowly toward the curious little water foul.

This man, you were learning - this erstwhile underground rapper, this leader of men, this brilliant intellectual and genius artist - this great, powerful, impressive man could be called out of his poise in an instant by the sweet and tiny things of the world.

You watched as he waited patiently, the little duck swimming in to-and-fro circuits and drawing closer and closer to Namjoon with each pass, until finally it was close enough to snatch its prize from him and scuttle off quickly to rejoin its mother and siblings. Namjoon chuckled, smiling fondly as he watched the duck make his way back down the creek.

This man, you thought to yourself, could not possibly be real.

"So you're a Kpop idol and a Disney princess, huh?" you called, causing Namjoon to startle and rock back on his heels, landing on his posterior in the damp grass.

You slapped a hand over your mouth to repress the laughter that threatened to bubble up at the site of his large well-dressed figure tipped back haphazardly on the creekside. He huffed a sheepish laugh as he stood, swiping at the back of his pants.

"Give a person a little warning?" he chided lightly, approaching you where you leaned on the railing.

"Sorry," you chuckled, "I didn't want to scare your little friend."

"So you settled for scaring your soulmate? I see how it is."

You smiled and ducked your head.

"Sorry," you murmured, flicking your gaze back to his.

He looked up at you, fixing you with his warm brown eyes and bringing his hands to grip the railing on either side of yours. Suddenly, you felt shy. You shook yourself.

"Hey, hang out with the ducks and you'll end up with a wet tail," you teased.

Namjoon's eyebrows drew together in mock disgust.

"Yikes, you're almost as bad as Seokjin hyung," he remarked disparagingly.

You shrugged, smirking.

"I have no idea what that means, but whoever Seokjin is, he must have a superior sense of humor."

Namjoon was opening his mouth to respond, but was cut short, as the tiny motion of your shoulders had slid one of your hands just a centimeter down the railing and barely flush with his own. The slight contact was enough to send sudden little tingles of comfort shooting up your arm and across your chest. In a millisecond you felt yourself relax where you hadn't realized you were tense. You could have imagined it, but you thought you felt Namjoon press his hand just a fraction more into yours as he swallowed and heaved a deep sigh.

You reminded yourself for the hundredth time since you arrived that this was biological. Clinical. The means to an end. Damn, he felt good though.

You found yourself snatching your hands away to push up your cardigan sleeves and then stuff them into your pants pockets where they would stop confusing you. You distracted yourself from Namjoon's subtle look of disappointment with an apology.

"Sorry about your pants," you rocked back on your heels as you looked out over the little ribbon of water rippling over its stony bed behind him.

He glanced over his shoulder and brushed himself off again before waving a hand in dismissal. Your eyes focused back on the blue silk.

"I didn't realize this was a fancy lunch. I feel under-dressed."

"You look nice," Namjoon rebutted, as he glanced over your attire. Then his brow pinched as his eyes halted on your torso, flitting over your arms and shoulders. "But isn't that -"

"Joon?"

A voice behind you caused you to turn.

Standing at the top of the steps was the woman it belonged to. She was tall and beautifully slender - her svelte figure draped in a slinky chrome dress with a triangular cutout that displayed the smooth skin of her upper abdomen. Her glossy raven tresses were styled away from her face in a high ponytail, drawing sharp attention to her sultry features. Her smoky eyes glanced over your form with a lazy intensity, lids half-raised over dark irises, and her pouted lips pursed in appraisal. You wondered just exactly how many ridiculously beautiful people traveled in Namjoon's circle.

She stepped toward you, her chunky pink heels marking her confident strides on the floorboards, before bowing and extending a small hand with sharp white acrylics and icy sliver rings.

"I'm the girlfriend!" she hummed, her deep, velvety voice matching her features.

You bowed in return before shaking her hand politely.

"So nice to meet you," you smiled, "I'm -

"The soulmate," she cut you off, glancing over your shoulder at Namjoon, who still stood outside the pavilion, "of that weirdo." '

Namjoon circled around to the entrance of the pavilion before joining you with a wry smile. He introduced the two of you formally, before being the first to take a seat at the table. Hyung-seo joined him, shimmying her cushion closer to Namjoon's as she used a pair of chopsticks to load her plate with selections from the spread.

"Oh my god, I'm STARVING," she gushed, staring at Namjoon impatiently as he took a bit of kimchi fried rice and a few slices of samgyeobsal.

"My stomach feels like it could take some real food for the first time in a while," he said with eager enthusiasm, glancing up at you with a smile of gratitude.

Hyung-seo tapped her chopsticks against her plate as she watched you survey the dishes before you. You took some kimchi fried rice and carefully ladled out a small bowl of doenjang-jjigae. You pulled your hands into your lap and watched the steam rise from the fragrant broth.

"Ah, unnie..." Hyung-seo began before Namjoon shushed her and lightly tapped her knee.

You glanced between them in confusion. Namjoon merely smiled at you, and you smiled back, glancing down from his warm gaze to your plate.

"Oh for the love of god, would you take a bite?"

You looked up rather startled at Hyung-seo, who was leaned forward, her desperate eyes tracking your movements, and the chopsticks clutched in her right hand hovering over a plump, sweating mandu.

You blinked, fumbling for your chopsticks as your soulmate admonished the woman next to him. You took a heap of fried rice onto your chopsticks and brought it to your lips, looking questioningly between the two across from you. Hyung-seo groaned in impatience, her head lolling back.

"In Korea, the eldest eats first," Namjoon offered in soft explanation, his features trained in apology.

As realization washed over you, you all but shoved the rice into your mouth, hoping to swallow your embarrassment with it, followed quickly by Hyung-seo, who popped two mandu into her mouth consecutively. Her eyes rolled back as she let out a groan of appreciation. You watched Namjoon carefully savor a piece of samgyeobsal. He smiled a dimpled smile. You smiled to yourself as you tucked into your fried rice. Namjoon's fiancée watched you both. Her cheeks were full, but she wasn't smiling.

Your little trio ate in contented silence until your visitor, having satisfied her belly, fixed her eyes on you with a different sort of eagerness. The time for questions had come, you realized. You set down your chopsticks, taking a drink of water.

"I'm sure there is so much we'd like to know about each other," you offered with a smile.

She pulled her lips into a brief grin, sipping from her own glass as her eyes trailed over you. You cleared your throat.

"So, I read that y-"

"How does it feel?" she interrupted, starring at you raptly. You blinked.

"I'm sorry?"

"When he touches you." She licked her lips. "I heard it's like cumming. I heard it's better."

Namjoon slid a large hand over her thigh. You saw it squeeze.

"Jagiya..." he murmured.

You glanced at him and gave him a reassuring grin which he returned, though not as readily as before. Not the start to the conversation you had hoped for, but she was living up to her brusque reputation. You let yourself laugh a little at the question, and saw Hyung-seo's mouth curl up a bit at the corners, though it didn't reach her eyes.

"It's nothing like sex, actually," you mused, trying to be as forthcoming as possible without abandoning politeness. "Strange, I guess, because it is all about physical exchange and contact. But...it's more like...nourishment? I don't know...I haven't had long enough to think about it."

You had had quite long enough to know that it was ineffable, but in the most intoxicating, magnificent way - and a hell of a lot better than most of the sex you'd had. This, however, wasn't the time and place for descriptions of the bond that could be ripped from the pages of drugstore romance novels.

You found yourself turning to Namjoon with a questioning gaze, as if to ask if he had anything to add. He nodded in response, not meeting your eyes.

"Yeah, it's different," he murmured succinctly.

Hyung-seo hummed in assent, chewing on her lip, her gaze still roving over you. You decided to try again.

"So how did you m-"

"How do you do it?"

You stifled a small sigh that threatened to escape your lips.

"Do what?"

"Use the bond. Like, do you hold hands, or...or what?"

You looked to Namjoon who murmured something in Korean that sounded like a warning. This wasn't going as you'd hoped. Her questions were natural ones, but not the first you thought you'd be asked, and not so pointedly. In fact, they were ones she should probably have put to her partner. Had they not spoken since you arrived?

"The bond works with any physical contact. When I first got here, I had so many questions myself. The hospital personnel were very informative while helping us navigate our questions. I still know very little, but as someone whose partner is bonded, I'm sure they would have someone who could better answer these types of questions than I can," you offered.

It was the opposite of forthcoming, but you were absolutely not prepared to launch into a conversation about you and her fiancé spooning in your undergarments. The trajectory of the exchange had to go elsewhere, so you resolved to take the wheel.

"Is there anything you'd like to know about me? Maybe I could tell you a little about myself. My job in the states wasn't glamorous, but I loved it. I was -"

"A social worker, I know," she murmured with a sigh, and Namjoon's head snapped toward her.

You could feel your confusion pulling into a frown. In your beat of silence, the woman in front of you gave into another impulse as she placidly launched into an answer of your unasked question.

"You're a social worker from the West coast, oldest of three kids. Your father died when you were ten. You graduated summa cum laude, and chose a career in women's services. You support your mother's living - you have been, long-term. Your brother is an engineer and your sister is in nursing school. You've never committed any crimes, but you were arrested once in college at some political protest about immigrant rights. Your blood type is O positive. You don't seem very good with your money, but you've never asked for financial assistance. You've never been married."

Silence.

Your ears were ringing.

You blinked as you tried to focus, grappling for something on which to stabilize your composure. This isn't how this was supposed to go. You felt your control slipping as the words pierced you in echoes that knocked you back down each time you reached out to steady your mind.

"Your father died when you were young..."

"...You support your mother's living..."

"...You don't seem very good with your money"

Your mind whirred as the silence closed in, and for a moment you were suspended.

Diana and Henry weren't pillars, you thought - they were tiny little babies as your mother clutched them on either side of her prone, shaking form as shovels of dirt were shifted back into the gaping hole that held a pine box covered in flowers. You looked down at the flag in your hands, and then up at the white flowers, still fresh and blooming, being caked and sodden with damp soil. You felt something rising up in your chest - something that never reached the surface. You turned from the wound in the earth as Dianna reached out and tugged at your arm. The babies looked afraid. You couldn't see your mother's face from where it was buried in her skirts. You tucked the flag reverently under your arm and took the little hands.

Somewhere outside the amniotic sack of your mind, you saw Namjoon's figure stand. You heard his garbled voice speak to the woman beside him. He was angry, his voice pitched low. Hers in response was sharp and high.

You took a deep breath and exhaled. Your chest was beginning to labor and your inhaler was on the fifth floor of a building on the other side of the property.

You willed yourself back into this world you had chosen. This place which, like the others you had inhabited, would discover its new tenant didn't take long to adapt. She was built to withstand.

"Namjoon," you called softly, as you looked up at your soulmate. His eyes snapped to yours, his face showing subtle but unmistakable signs of distress - eyes reflecting remorsefully and jaw flexing.

You smiled at him gently, reassuringly.

"It's alright," you insisted, your eyes not leaving his.

You saw his shoulders sag, and his head bow. His hand came up to scrub over his face. You realized then that she was looking at you. Hyung-seo's expression was apprehensive, her eyes scouring your face.

"This must be an extremely difficult thing for you, whatever the reason," you offered earnestly.

She regarded you in silence, her eyes flickering like the flame of a candle.

"I would say, 'I understand', but I don't. I have no idea how hard it must be to fall in love with someone only to watch them suffer at the hands of disease, and to suffer so greatly and to come so close to losing them that you turn to finding a person who can save them, and who - if they are saved by - they will need and desire for the rest of their natural life. A person who isn't you."

Her eyes quivered as they held you in their gaze.

"I know I'm supposed to be a saving grace," you continued, having gained your ground, "But I know I could also look a lot like a threat. Trust me when I say that you can be open and honest with me about how you feel. This is a difficult situation where we're going to feel burdened by things we shouldn't. Namjoon and I discussed this."

You smiled again at your soulmate, who was watching you with relief and something else in his features. You wanted to call it admiration, but you had only known him for two whole days.

"Whatever fears you're carrying that make you feel like a burden in this moment, could I ask you to set them aside? For a chance to get to know me in the real way that you deserve? This isn't a trap. Or a cage. We've all chosen to be here."

You regarded Hyung-seo in the silence that followed. Her eyes had fallen from your face - they glanced over toward where Namjoon stood, barely raising toward his figure, when she suddenly dropped her face into her hands and began shaking with sobs.

You let out a sigh of relief too soft to be heard by the others.

"Fuck...." Hyung-seo choked out against her palms, "I'm such a piece of shit..."

Namjoon moved to place a hand over her back and assure her she wasn't. You wondered what she felt when he touched her. Your heart ached with pity for her. Namjoon drew her into his chest and held her as she cried her makeup off. He stroked her hair as her regarded her with weary, worried eyes. You couldn't help but feel that you were encroaching on a private moment...expect that you were a part of this as much as they were. Was there a lifetime of this feeling to be endured? You sighed again.

"I'm gonna give you guys a minute," you whispered as you clambered to your feet.

Namjoon nodded silently over the woman in his arms.

You watched scattered leaves from the boughs overhanging the far side of the stream spin as the were swept away. Your eyes tracked one in particular, twirling as it sailed around a protruding rock and under an arching root, only to be stopped as it was doubled at the middle by a thin, swaying reed. You found your feet moving to where the water rushed around it as it billowed helplessly on both sides of its obstruction like a flag of surrender. You slipped off your shoes and rolled up your pants. You waded into the cool, clear water and, reaching out, tugged the little leaf free. You watched as it sailed on, disappearing around a bend in the waterway. You glanced back up at the pavilion. If you could have been sure it was the right move, you would have left altogether, but you wouldn't want your sudden departure to be taken the wrong way.

You sighed. You pulled your phone out of your back pocket as you waded back out of the stream. Dead. You were bad about keeping it charged, and your conversation with Diana had drained its aged battery. You wished you had a book. Glancing about, your eyes caught a fairly large patch of clover flowers a few yards down the bank, and crossing the soft grass, you sank down in its center.

You smiled weakly to yourself as you plucked one of the little white buds near the base of its stem. You and your siblings would spend hours at the park under the shade turning sprawling patches of the puffy blooms into garlands, crowns, bracelets, and rings. You picked another flower and tied its supple stem into a knot just under the other flower's head.

By the time Namjoon came to join you, sinking down across from you in little clover patch you had fashioned yourself a crown and a necklace, and were working on a garland to send to Diana. You set down your handiwork to look up at him. He was regarding you with soft, somber eyes and a little smile that looked like one he didn't have the energy for but couldn't help besides. He picked a flower and twirled it between his fingers.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured, "If I would have thought that things would go that way, I wouldn't have insisted on her meeting you before she left. She's going on tour and I thought...well, I thought if she just met you her anxieties would be eased."

You nodded thoughtfully.

"Thank you for your patience and kindness. She was out of line saying those things to you like that...you were...that was everything she needed to hear, I think."

You cast your eyes down as you tied off another knot in the garland.

"Is she okay?" you asked quietly.

Namjoon sighed.

"She's...embarrassed. Ashamed of herself. She wasn't in any condition to finish that conversation, so I suggested she go home."

"Understandable," you assented, nodding again.

Silence hung between you for a moment before you raised your eyes to his again.

"Namjoon...there are some things I think we should discuss."

He nodded earnestly, his eyes falling, brow creasing and tongue pressing into his cheek.

"I know we haven't had much time," you continued, "And we have literally the rest of our lives...but, I think we should be on the same page about what we've been told about each other. I think it will make this whole process easier? I don't know. There are some things you assume you'll have to tell someone at a certain point in knowing them - some things that are...deeply personal..."

"Aren't things between us already that way? Deeply personal?"

You looked up and those half-lidded brown eyes were looking right at you in a way you weren't prepared for, in a way that flooded your veins. Soulmate. You wanted to touch him. You wanted to feel him and what he brought to you. You wanted him to feel it too. But you didn't know him, and he didn't know you, and he needed healing, which is why you were here. He loved someone who loved him whose lives you were disrupting. This feeling was basal, you knew - came with the territory...but you were going to need some strong boundaries if this was going to function. You were going to need honesty, for a start.

"They are," you relented slowly, "But I have questions that I need answers to. Your trust in me is clear, and I appreciate that...but...I need time to get my footing here."

Namjoon nodded in assent.

"I get that. So, what do you want to know, specifically? I'll answer any question you have."

You nodded gratefully.

"Thank you. Do you think I could take a little time to think about what I want to ask? I'm kind of still processing everything that just happened."

"Of course," he was quick to answer, "Whenever you want to talk, just let me know. Did I say how sorry I am?" he asked smiling weakly as he looked up from where he struggled to knot the stem of one flower around another, suddenly looking down again when its stem snapped between his fingers.

You huffed out a little laugh.

"Yes, you did," you did, you answered, offering him a rueful grin.

He picked another flower only to realize he had cut its stem too short for his purposes. He tossed the little blossoms back into the grass.

"Can you make me one?" he asked pathetically, pouting at the garland in your hands.

You chuckled as you tied off the one in your lap and leaned forward to slip it over his head. He adjusted it around his neck, looking down at it with a pleased expression.

"You know...if you can believe it, we actually got lucky in there," he smirked, his forehead creasing as he raised his brow.

You gave him a look of confusion. His eyes trailed over your torso again before flitting back up to yours.

"She didn't notice that you're wearing my sweater."

You froze. Then you blinked down at the giant green cardigan that had, in fact, slipped down off of one shoulder. Then you gaped at him.

He snickered.

You scrambled to yank the sweater over your head, even as he laughed and protested, you blustered apology after expletive after apology.

"Shit, it was in my laundry bag!" You whined in explanation as you shook it out and began to fold it in your lap.

"Stop, just keep it on," Namjoon insisted, still clearly amused at your state of panic.

"I have one just like this. Like, identical but obviously smaller. I just assumed it had stretched out in the wash..." You extended the sweater toward him.

He shook his head.

"Just give it back later, you'll be cold." He looked up at your exasperated expression and started laughing again.

"Stooop..." you whined in embarrassment, and when he only laughed harder, you tossed the sweater in his face. As he balled it up with a smile where it fell down into his lap, his smart watch trilled. He glanced down at it.

"I've got labs scheduled now," he sighed.

"Hopefully they'll bring more good news," you offered, at which he nodded. "I seem to be getting the job done, if I do say so myself," you teased, leaning back on your hands and offering him a smug look.

He nodded, tongue in his cheek, then pushed to stand - with effort, you noticed - and extended a hand down to you. You didn't realize what the little smile on his mouth was for until you accepted his hand with your own, by habit, and were nearly knocked back off your feet as the bond surged through you like a wave of mind-numbing euphoria that left you unable to process information outside of what was sent coursing through your every cell from where he touched you.

You blinked up at him as you got your wits about you, and he was looking down at you through little slits in his barely-open eyes, head tilted back and mouth hanging open - little smirk still tugging at its corner. You pursed your lips, trying not to grin back.

"You did that on purpose," you chided, trying and failing to train your features in a scowl.

His smirk deepened.

"What? I was just being courteous..."

You rolled your eyes.

"I'm feeling a little weak, I think it would be best if you helped me back to the room," he muttered slyly, turning to head back toward the building.

The smile that was dimpling his cheek and creasing the corners of his eyes did something to your stomach that had you yanking your hand out of his grasp.

"Yeah, right," you huffed, forging a few steps ahead of him, "You're putting a lot by your poorly reputed coordination to think you could walk while I was touching you."

He let out a laugh behind you. It was loud and bright and had you biting back a smile to match it.

"What happened to getting the job done, sweater thief?" he called after you teasingly.

Shit. Yeah. Boundaries. You were going to need them.

_________________________________________________

Well, they met! Next part to follow soon.

Thank you for sticking with me here!

Tag list: @butterymin @little-dark-empress @aretha170 @kamilamb @jlee97 @thephotoend @callmenoona25 @felicityroth @softforyoongles @berlianv @honneypies @deadrose287 @n0pesir

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inevitably-johnlocked · 1 year ago

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Hi Steph! 💕

Any chance you’d want to pick the first fic I read for the Good Omens fandom??

I'm usually in Johnlock hell but I figured I'd give Good Omens a go. I’m really glad I did, bc these dorks are adorable 😭 Aziraphale’s little giggly SMILES hhhhh kill me

Any fic rating is fine, preferably aziracow (is that the ship name?) slash, preferably a pre-season 2 fic (simply bc I haven't watched season 2 yet. I've seen all the spoilers already tho…)

Anyway, thanks Steph! Ilysm 💕

- @sherlockwatsons / @aziraphales-duck (heh, my shiny new GO blog)

PS- I wasn’t sure if your good omens blog was a fic rec blog so I asked the question here… but I can *not* ask here (or anywhere) in the future if you don’t rec good omens stuff normally 🫂

Hi Lovely!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHH I'd be HONOURED to suggest a few fics for you to start in the GO fandom!! First off, I do have a few lists you can check out, all done with fics written pre-S2:

Good Omens / Ineffable Husbands

Good Omens MFL Recs

Sherlock x Good Omens Crossovers (Updated Apr 2023)

Secondly, here are five of my fave GO fics so far, and are great starts into reading GO fics!

The Picnic; or, the Drawbacks of Loving an Angel by sorrowfulcheese (G, 3,776 w., 1 Ch. || Post-Apocalypse/Canon, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Misunderstandings, Moving On, Picnicking, Idiots in Love, Crowley POV, Cranky Crowley, Mutual Pining, Light Angst with Happy Ending) – Aziraphale lures Crowley out for a picnic. It doesn't go remarkably well.

Your Reward Ye Shall Have by sussexbound (T, 3,146 w., 1 Ch. || Angelic Love, Wings, Emotional Intimacy, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Pining Crowley, Soft Crowley, Emotional Connection, Emotional Porn, Groping, Bums, POV Aziraphale) – It is not the first time Aziraphale has considered giving in. Crowley mumbles something in his sleep, unfurls his long limbs for a moment, before tucking them back in, curling tight, arms wrapped around his knees. He shudders and then settles again with a sigh, and Aziraphale loves him.

toss you for edinburgh (and other promises) by leaveanote (E, 10,611 w., 1 Ch || Aziraphale POV, Passage of Time, Slow Burn, Heavy Mutual Pining, Porn With Feelings, Romance, Anal, Rimming, Angst with Happy Ending, Pet Names, The Arrangement, Love Confessions, Passionate Love Making, Friends With Benefits But it Hurts, Inside Jokes, Proposal) – Crowley hadn't meant anything by it, Aziraphale knows that (it's very obvious when he's actually flirting). But he still can't stop thinking about it. They have been together twice before, and each time, Aziraphale swore it could not happen again. This time, he tells himself, as he seeks Crowley out after Hamlet, it will be enough. It has to be.

A Brief History of Touch by chamyl (E, 11,849 w., 1 Ch. || Moments in Time, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Mutual Pining, Romance, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Masturbation, Almost Kiss, Touch-Starved Crowley, Angst With Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Blow Jobs, Emotional Love Making, Friends to Lovers, Body Worship, Promise of Forever With a Ring) – Six thousand years of pining, stolen glances, almost-touches, plummeting towards the inevitable end.

The Nice and Accurate Love Story of A. J. Crowley and A. Z. Fell by SealandRocks (E, 16,353 w., 1 Ch. || Pining Crowley, Implied Mutual Pining, Emotional Love Making, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, POV Crowley, Jealous Crowley, Crowley’s Plants, Kissing as Healing, Moments in Time, The Arrangement, Love Confessions, Bottom Crowley, Gentle Aziraphale, Slow Burn, Falling in Love, Crowley is Bad at Feelings, First Kiss/Time, Anal Sex / Fingering, Wings / Wing Kink, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Kissing in the Rain, Symbolism, Historical References) – Crowley and Aziraphale have been dancing around each other since the beginning. From Eden to London, it eventually becomes very hard to avoid the only other immortal around. And after so many centuries, having a physically body becomes a bit uncomfortable. Crowley is left to wonder what it is about Aziraphale that helps ease the ache in his soul. It would only take him 6000 years to figure out that it was rooted in something deeper all along. Part 1 of Love Stories for the Oblivious

------

Secondly, I think the ship name is Aziracrow, A/C, or the Ineffable Husbands :) I'm SO happy you loved Good Omens, I love it SO much!!! I haven't read any post S2 fics yet, but might check them out soon! :)

And finally, you can ask me anything on either blog! :D Asks like this get crossposted to either-or blog since I've bigger audience here, but a separate GO blog for my Lovelies who still like me but don't want the Sherlock or multifandom content, hahah!

Hope you enjoy these, and if you guys have some fave fics for GO that are great for beginners, please add them here!! <3

#steph replies #good omens fic recs #go fic recs #ineffable husbands fic recs #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #my fic recs #fave fics #chatting with lovelies

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ceridwyn2 · 1 year ago

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Favourite WLW Love Stories, wherein:

a) both characters are 40+ and/or 50+ (I am including Hospital Central’s Maca & Esther here, because even though they were in their 30s when the relationship started, they were in their 40s when the series finished and they were together)

b) love stories are successful (even if the series ended but they were still together when it did). Honourable mentions available for ones that were almost fully successful, but soaps…so stuff doesn’t last forever.

c) can be from any country (list the country, and directions to YT clips if you can)

d) drama / romance / comedy / police procedural / hospital drama / soap, etc.

Some of my favourites include:

Hospital Central - Maca/Esther (Spain)

Holby City - Bernie/Serena (United Kingdom)

Hotel Mondial - Eva/Uli (Germany) - new favourite

Star Trek Picard - Seven of Nine/Raffi (United States)

Guiding Light - Olivia/Natalia (United States)

Eastenders - Eve/Suki (United Kingdom)

Emmerdale -Charity/Vanessa (United Kingdom) - only because I’m holding out hope that Mack leaves/dies and Charity & Vanessa eventually make their way back together

Last Tango in Halifax - Caroline/Gillian (honestly even SW has said they’re soulmates, so I’m counting it)

Doctor Who [Big Finish Audio] - Liv/Helen - it counts.

——————

Add your input into comments or tags, please

#WLW Stories #Maca/Esther #Bernie/Serena #Eva/Uli #Seven/Raffi #Olivia/Natalia #Eve/Suki #Caroline/Gillian #Liv/Helen #Charity/Vanessa

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kiragecko · 5 months ago

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20 Questions for Fic Writers Tag Game

@zahri-melitor didn't tag me, but did leave it open to followers.

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

17. There's still a few on ffnet I haven't moved over, but they're ROUGH.

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

27,088. Fifteen hundred words per fic seems about right - I generally like 'em to have 2 scenes.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

X-Men and Batfamily.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Shirt Off Your Back - aka, the one where all the stuff I'm really proud of showed up by accident while I was trying to find a way to end it. I did good, it deserves the kudos.

Ives Adapts - love this weird little fic. It's obvious that it's a Tumblr thing - as much a list as it is a story. Which is what I love about it! And I thought 'the world needs more Ives' and then DID something about it! Good job, me.

Kon Is Loyal - hehe! This one is silly and fun. I don't do silly and fun that much. I'm glad I did.

Terms of Use - this is the far too personal one where I'm working through multiple things at once. The fic on this list I'm the most proud of.

Presents - not quite the same fic as Shirt of Your Back, but they're of a pair. I enjoy how clever Damian thinks he's being. Yes, yes, Damian, you're so smart!

(Also known as 5/6 of my Batfamiliy fic, and all the fic I've written in the last 5 years.)

5. do you respond to comments?

Yeah. I missed one, didn't notice it until 2 years later, and it STILL annoys me. Maybe I'll eventually thank them for their emoji a decade after they sent it, or something. I LIKE talking about my fic!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's called Fighting Fire with Kindling, and it's Not Good. Probably won't move it to AO3, even when ffnet dies. Trying to figure out why romance made me feel the way it did led to some weird fic.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Is It Really True? - which is a Rumpelstiltskin retelling is pretty straightforwardly happy at the end?

Most of my fic are more HOPEFUL than happy.

8. do you get hate on fics?

No. Well, maybe? I think I remember deleting something, once. It didn't leave a lasting mark. I've gotten hate on COMMENTS before, though.

9. do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No. Back in 2005 I was writing a lot about infidelity and unhealthy relationships, but ... actual sex scenes??? It took me a decade just to build up a tolerance for READING (or skimming) them!

10. do you write crossovers?

No. It's all about the relationships. Crossovers make it harder to focus on the relationships I'm in the fandom for.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

No. I wouldn't notice.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. I am NOT popular.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Closest I've gotten is beta-ing. Team projects were the hardest part of school.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Probably Wolverine/Mariko Yashida/Jean Grey but not poly? Like, it WAS Wolverine/Jean Grey, and then she died, and then it was Wolverine/Mariko, but now Jean is back and Wolverine still loves her and they're all trying to co-parent their kid(s) but none of them are poly and it's complicated.

I cared about this one a LOT when I was 20. Almost entirely for the angst, but I'm taking what I can get. I'm way to aroace for most shipping to register.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

This Tim Recovers in Smallville fic. Possibly with some fake dating that stays very very fake? Like, I don't want to write it, but I REALLY want it to exist.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Outsider perspectives. Respecting abnormal thought processes and perspectives. Controlling pacing and indicating voice through sentence structure.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I started my fandom experience in barely-post-90s X-Men. Phonetic accents and illogically inserted random words from foreign languages are charming to me. Reading 80s/90s Wolverine as a Canadian makes me giggle.

It's also usually classist and often xenophobic. Always othering. In any fandom other than X-Men, phonetic accents and inserted foreign words bother me.

Have yet to see a form of other-language dialogue with translation that both flows smoothly and works with screen-readers.

Untranslated foreign-language dialogue works if I'm supposed to feel like an outsider, or like I'm missing something.

I prefer it translated into English, with narration telling me what language it is ... okay, that is a lie. I prefer every language to get their own special quote marks. I think that's REALLY fun. Especially if we can get some telepathy in there as well. I was reading X-fic in the early 2000s, I can't be expected to have good taste!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

As stated, X-Men. Learned a lot, then took a decade long break for my mental health. Now I can write without worsening my depression!

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Either Terms of Use (which is actually good) or Sometimes It's Hard to Think. I wrote the second one when I was a baby fan, and it was fun! I also love my self-insert character. She is SO different from who I am now. Everyone should write self-inserts - it's fascinating to go back and see insight into your past self-image.

If you want to (mostly so you can remind me of fic to reread 😉): @whetstonefires, @galaxystew, @alarajrogers, @incogneat-oh, @angel-gidget, @tabithian

#memes #I guess I should call these tag games #but it's too late now #I'm set in my ways

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goodtweetbadtweet · 10 months ago

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19, 22, 24 and 32! ❤️

Oh thanks for asking 💜 I’m gonna put my rambling under a cut.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I have been reading fanfic since I was about twelve, starting with LotR, but the earliest thing I really remember writing were these stories about this group of online-turned-offline friends that I had when I was fifteen. We all wrote a different ‘alternate universe’ versions of our little group going on some adventure. In hindsight, the stories were relatively cringey and obviously full of inside jokes, but to put it in cliche terms, it ignited a spark. Around that same time I read a really popular HP/marauders fanfic that actually inspired me to read the HP books and then I was brave enough/inspired to write my first fanfics. At first I wrote something that I thought people would want to read (in my own language) so I tried writing stuff like Sirius/Remus, and I was so used to constant praise for my writing (because my readers were all my friends) that it started to feel fake almost. Eventually I just wanted to write something that nobody I knew would ever see, so I chose a username nobody would think to connect to me, started writing in English and wrote something I actually wanted to write which was a self-indulgent, practically self-insert OC romance fic. Cringe, maybe. But so much fun.

So I’ve been writing on and off for nearly 18 years, mostly off, and you don’t even need all your fingers and toes to count the things I’ve finished. I’m not the most productive. It’s the same as with any hobby; I get really into it for a while and then eventually it fizzles out. I take breaks that last months, years even. I am at a point where I don’t know if I’ll ever call myself a good writer, but there are certain parts of my writing that I actually really love. For the first time I’m also writing with intent and not just making stuff up as I go along and I want to challenge myself a little more, exploring some darker themes etc.

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

Not very. I am generally an organized person, but when I write I put the whole story and everything related to that into one Google Doc. I can’t stand having to switch between documents or having anything separate.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

Honestly? Not enough probably. When I have an idea for a story, it can be anything from one scene that evolves into something entirely different or a whole story arc that just appears out of thin air. Like, Kendall/Avery literally started off as ‘Kendall meets a girl in rehab and has sex with her’ and was meant to be a one shot. And Lukas/Gia came to me sort of fully formed late at night. My plans are usually very short, just a quick list of things that happen in each chapter. Since I write exclusively romance/smut/relationships, I start writing from the point where the characters meet because that’s usually very clear in my mind, and then I write a bunch of unrelated scenes that I have already imagined taking place. Eventually I backtrack to the actual beginning and try to write chronologically, but it’s a lot of back and forth and connecting these scattered scenes with each other. But there is always a plan, even if it is constantly evolving it doesn’t fundamentally change, and I always know what I’m writing towards. So basically, no, I don’t do a lot of prep work, but while I’m writing I’m working on the entire story at once. I also don’t like prep work, but it is helpful and it keeps me in check.

Back when I did zero planning, I started writing and posting a Bucky Barnes/OC story chapter by chapter and it went off the rails a little bit and eventually turned into a Tony Stark/OC story which… made sense and it was kind of like the characters had a life of their own, but obviously that wasn’t what my readers had signed up for. If I had a plan, maybe that wouldn’t have happened or I would’ve realized it was inevitable while planning. Idk. That story was/is 130k words and technically I never finished or wanted it to end where it did, but I lost interest and a few years later I came back to it to see that it had run its course and the ending actually kind of worked as ‘the finale.’ Sometimes I have a hard time ending things; a plan helps with that.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

“You all know, don’t you, that if people are frightened very often, they sometimes become invisible.”

From the short story The Invisible Child by Tove Jansson. And I don’t know if it’s this line specifically, but off the top of my head this is a story that comes to mind as something that has held meaning for me since I was young and now again as a parent. It’s about Ninny, who has literally turned invisible due to living with her child-hating, abusive aunt. In a nutshell: she comes to live with the Moomin family, finds respect and love and learns to speak for herself. In many ways I relate to Ninny a lot and I think somewhere along the way I overcorrected and instead of being invisible, people pleasing and afraid I became almost confrontational and too tough. Inside I will always be Ninny, though.

Ninny in the Moomin anime

#ask game

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perspicaciouslynameless · 2 years ago

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Books I Read in 2022

Similar to last year, this will start with the overall visual summaries, followed by a full list of the books I read.

Overall statistics by genre

In a shocking turn of events, romance and sci-fi/fantasy remain the top. Surprising number of young adult books though.

Rating and count of book by genre

Overall higher ratings across the board, even though I had one- and two-star ratings this year, but none last year, and that's because...

Ratings and page count over time

Almost no three-star ratings this year! Did I read better books or was I more generous?

Content

Similar to last year. Funniest thing remains the number of books I happen to read that are set in space, though I think the majority of that is actually rereads, so the continuation of the trend is not actually surprising.

Gantt Charts

Longest was definitely Guards! Guards!, which was due to me reading it slowly and not finishing it before I had to return it to the library (twice) and then eventually buying it.

Overall thoughts

Some of this year's favourites are:

All the Jackie Lau ones - she's a very straightforward author.

A Pho Love Story - this was lovely. Vietnamese authors are killing it. I don't think I've ever read another young adult book that really drove home how busy teenagers are with school, extracurriculars, and home stuff, which made this potentially the most relatable teen book ever to me. I promise it's not boring, though.

The Taming of Mei Lin - short stories can be really perfect sometimes. This got to the point and was funny and sexy while doing it.

He Mele a Hilo - Ryka Aoki is an author whose voice and perspective I really, really like after having read two books by her, and I would love to read more.

All the Kate Clayborn ones - I was disappointed to realize that she actually has not written a lot of books! If anyone has recs of books like Kate Clayborn's, please please please tell me.

Charming as a Verb - I really enjoyed how conscious this book was of the main character's place in society and what the potential consequences of his actions are, especially when it came to the big conflict at the end.

The Death of Vivek Oji - very queer, very focused on community, very ouch.

Into the Riverlands - can I read a Nghi Vo book without being completely in love with it? (No.)

My goals last year were:

To be more deliberate in my book choices - I think we can just give up on this one, tbh.

To put a dent in all the books I own that I haven’t read yet - no comment :|

Full list of books read

Aristotle and Dante Dive into the Waters of the World, by Benjamin Alire Saenz

A Match Made for Thanksgiving, by Jackie Lau

A Second Chance Road Trip for Christmas, by Jackie Lau

A Fake Girlfriend for Chinese New Year, by Jackie Lau

A Big Surprise for Valentine's Day, by Jackie Lau

Iron Widow, by Xiran Jay Zhao

Life, the Universe and Everything, by Douglas Adams

The Taming of Mei Lin, by Jeannie Lin

A Pho Love Story, by Loan Le

Butterfly Swords, by Jeannie Lin

First Love, Take Two, by Sajni Patel

Through the Storm, by Beverly Jenkins

Donut Fall in Love, by Jackie Lau

So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish, by Douglas Adams

Just Business, by Anna Zabo

The Jasmine Throne, by Tasha Suri

Satisfaction Guaranteed, by Karelia Stetz-Waters

Ties that Bind, by Katee Robert

Animal Attraction, by Katee Robert

He Mele a Hilo, by Ryka Aoki

Mostly Harmless, by Douglas Adams

Delilah Green Doesn't Care, by Ashley Herring Blake

All Systems Red, by Martha Wells

Beginner's Luck, by Kate Clayborn

Luck of the Draw, by Kate Clayborn

Best of Luck, by Kate Clayborn

Missing Christmas, by Kate Clayborn

Artificial Condition, by Martha Wells

Charming as a Verb, by Ben Philippe

Rogue Protocol, by Martha Wells

Not My Father's Son, by Alan Cumming

Exit Strategy, by Martha Wells

You Had Me at Hola, by Alexis Daria

A Lot Like Adios, by Alexis Daria

Iron & Velvet, by Alexis Hall

The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins

The Death of Vivek Oji, by Akwaeke Emezi

From Bad to Cursed, by Lana Harper

The Girls I've Been, by Tess Sharpe

Catching Fire, by Suzanne Collins

Gideon the Ninth, by Tamsyn Muir

Mockingjay, by Suzanne Collins

Slippery Creatures, by K.J. Charles

A Billionaire Between the Sheets, by Katie Lane

Waking Up With a Billionaire, by Katie Lane

Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett

The Billionaire's Wake-Up-Call Girl, by Annika Martin

Into the Riverlands, by Nghi Vo

The Sugared Game, by K.J. Charles

Subtle Blood, by K.J. Charles

Her Big City Neighbor, by Jackie Lau

The Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle, by Stuart Turton

Harrow the Ninth, by Tamsyn Muir

Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail, by Ashley Herring Blake

Paris Daillencourt is About to Crumble, by Alexis Hall

A Lady for a Duke, by Alexis Hall

Partners in Crime, by Alisha Rai

#books #year end review #let's pretend this isn't a day late :)

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britesparc · 5 months ago

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Weekend Top Ten #644

Top Ten Taylor Swift Songs

Taylor Swift is quite a big presence round our house. Basically, you can tell which daughter has put the music on; if it’s the Hamilton soundtrack, then it’s Daughter #1. If it’s Taylor Alison Swift? Daughter #2, our nascent Swiftie.

I didn’t really “follow” Swift, because I don’t really “follow” any popular music, because in this modern age of streaming playlists I’m able to constantly curate my own bespoke station cultivated exactly to my whims and foibles, comprised almost entirely of 1980s soft rock, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, and songs featured in Quentin Tarantino movies. So I never really encountered a Taylor Swift song in the wild all that much, until we had kids, and the phrase “Alexa, play kid-friendly pop” became a relatively common utterance. It’s quite funny actually, because in those earlier days of the sprogs listening to stuff, it turned out that I did hear a few of her older bangers – Love Story, You Belong With Me, that sort of thing – without realising it.

The critical mass of her superstardom mean that eventually it would bleed into other aspects of my life (sooner or later she got to something I do care about, possibly when she was in an Actual Film, even if that film tuned out to be Cats). This sort-of coincided with Daughter #2 getting really into her because people talked about her at school/on YouTube, and also happened to take place just before the fabled Eras tour kicked off. As such, the last two years have been very Swift-y, really. And it’s allowed me to really consider her musical oeuvre.

Because – and this should come as little surprise – it turns out she’s very good at this sort of thing. She really got my interest when she did the whole “Taylor’s Version” thing, because that is – as they say – a flex. Re-recording all your old songs and asking stations to play the new recordings so as to utterly devalue the original recording that a dickhead refuses to sell back to you? One hell of a power move, lady. The fact that her songs were floating around our personal ether meant that I could analyse the lyrics and melodies a bit more, get under the skin. And Swift is one of those artists who almost demands a biographical approach to her work: you don’t need to know who she’s dating or who she currently has a beef with, but most of her best work is so concerned with being Taylor Swift that you do end up thinking about the real-world references in her words.

This phenomenal amount of waffle is really just a preamble to me, a fortysomething dad, listing my favourite Taylor Swift songs. Obviously what interests me is going to be different to what interests your average nine-year-old; just as what interests any of us is going to be unique to our own circumstances. What more is there to say, really? I guess I’m just trying to fill all this blank space, hehehehehehehehe.

Blank Space (2014): I’m not good at articulating why the music of these songs is great, so let’s stick with words and imagery. This tale of a troubled serial monogamist features fantastic use of both, as it links the jaunty teen vibe of Swift’s early work with the darker introspection she’s now know for, with an almost cynical unravelling of its protagonist, and some terrific lines: “it’ll leave you breathless or with a nasty scar”. Beautifully dark, twisted, and sort-of romantic.

Anti-Hero (2022): eschewing the romance altogether and just focusing on a sort of quasi-autobiographical examination of “Taylor Swift”, this song’s inherent bleakness contrasts beautifully with its rather upbeat tone. The tale of a self-defeating woman with – clearly – some proper issues, we get Swift comparing herself to a kaiju and plotting bitter revenge against imaginary children. Bitterly hilarious.

Is It Over Now? (2023): a song that, apparently, was written a while ago but only released recently, it fits in well with her work from a decade ago in terms of its overall tone and treatment (another tale of a love gone sour), but it’s got a maturity and, well, bit of grit to it. Raking over the coals of a relationship in which it appears both parties deserved some blame, it’s another one with great lyrics; the refrain of “three hundred takeout coffees later” is neat.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived (2024): The Tortured Poets Department was the first time I actually ended up listening, unbroken, to an entire Taylor Swift album, so a lot of these songs hit harder for me. There are a few bangers, but this incredibly bitter revenge anthem – a furiously hilarious diss track – is the highlight. It’s so fabulously mean-spiriting, skewering so many aspects of the titular bloke, from his try-hard on-stage antics to the insipid paranoia he invoked. Plus, of course, you don’t call a man “small” without it having more than one meaning.

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart (2024): another song that’s so blackly comic it could be a Coen Brothers movie, this incredibly jaunty, upbeat bop is all about how unutterably shit it is to be Taylor Swift. Telling the story of a consummate entertainer who is always joyous and smiling and perfectly performing whilst hiding her sorrow, there’s nothing much to say beyond “incredibly depressing” and “consistently hilarious”. Lights, camera, bitch, smile indeed.

You Belong With Me (2009): Swift’s earlier, more country-flavoured songs skew to a certain template; basically musical versions of She’s All That. Swift is a smart enough performer to put a little bit of quirk or edge onto things though; this is a relatively straightforward story about a homely girl in love with her friend, but in both the wordplay (“she wears short skirts, I wear sneakers/she’s cheer captain and I’m in the bleachers”) and the amount of sheer heart Swift puts into it, makes it very effective.

Look What You Made Me Do (2017): the almost staccato electric beat of this one feels a bit different; a bit more urgent, a little bit darker. It’s another one unpicking the seams of “it’s hard being a megastar” and “my boyfriends all suck”, but the unravelling of the Taylor Swift persona is amusingly done. It’s the musicality of it that, well, sing; the chorus – repeating the title in different intonations – is a thing of trippy beauty. Also, whilst I’m really just analysing the songs themselves, shout out to the incredible video.

Love Story (2008): Daughter #2’s favourite, apparently (she’s very annoyed that I only have it at number eight), and that kinda makes sense; it’s so perfectly calibrated to the mode of “benign teen romance”. Yes, it’s just a tale of boy and girl and how – despite obstacles – they eventually get together. But the lyrics are great, evoking everything from Shakespeare to The Scarlet Letter, with some nice wordplay. One of Swift’s earliest, and defining, hits; not as interesting as her later work but still a great example of what she’s capable of.

Maroon (2022): a melancholy examination of a failed romance, holding a magnifying glass to the highlights of a relationship but finding the roots of its dissolution. Musically it’s nice, and has some great lyrics – love the intonation of “your roommate’s cheap-ass screw-top rosé” – but the clever-clever bit is the repeated imagery of, well, red stuff; “Maroon” indeed, from wine to blood to, well, a hickey. Also: first time I heard Swift drop an F-bomb in a song. Shocked I was. Shocked to my core.

Karma (2023): most of these songs have had a bit of darkness to them, apart from the ones that are just the aural equivalent of an early noughties Lindsey Lohan movie. This song, though, isn’t particularly dark, but it is very funny, Swift singing about, well, karma, and how it’ll come back to bitecha. It’s the use of imagery, of how karma is a beautiful thing that benefits her, where the funny lies; karma, it turns out, is a lot of things, most of them amusing.

#top ten #taylor swift #music #songs #eras tour #daughter

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literary-illuminati · 2 years ago

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Books I Read In August

38. When the Tiger Came Down The Mountain by Nghi Vo

I’m an increasingly big fan of Vo’s work. The Empress of Salt and Fortune was good, but honestly didn’t really stick with me nearly as much as this did.

Part of that is just the increased centrality of the framing device, honestly. I mean first of all I don’t really tend to have much patience for wish-fulfillment characters, but very hard to overstate how much Chih is just living the dream life (and my university indoctrination was thorough enough that the association of the study/preservation/gathering of history and sacredness seems very right and fitting to me.

Also, I just absolutely adore when the story makes a thing of unreliable narrators. Like, when someone’s telling a story and as the scene’s ending someone else interrupts and goes “You’re telling it all wrong!” and gives a completely different version that’s at least as biased in another direction? Poetry.

The actual myth with the lesbian romance and the were-tiger warlord and stuff was also a lot of fun don’t get me wrong, but like, would have been a bit forgettable without the framing device stuff around it.

Anyway, give Chih a tv show. Or at least a half dozen more novellas like this.

39. Deaf Republic by Ilya Kaminsky

This is the first actual full book of poetry I’ve read….I mean ever, probably, if we’re taking cover to cover. Certainly since I finished high school. So there’s some Culture achieved.

I was…not especially impressed, if I’m being entirely honest? Or, properly - “We Lived Happily During The War '' and “In A Time of Peace '' were both really affecting, but also I had already read both (posted here on tumblr, actually). They’re what sold me on the book. Everything between them did, well, not really live up to it?

I mean, I’m sure that there’s all manner of genius in craft and stuff that flew right over my head, but it just seemed so focused on being clever with line breaks that it failed to do much else. Like, most of the books on the list have plenty of lines that are more poetic by my (doubtlessly irredeemably philistine) definition than any of the poems that made up the middle of the book.

40. The Yiddish Policemen’s Union by Michael Chabon

I honestly forget where I first heard about this book, but it’s been very vaguely sitting on my mental tbr list for the last few years,and the library happened to have it in, so.

Anyway, the conceit (an alternate history where WW2 went slightly differently, and also Israel lost in 1947, and through a bunch of political compromises there ended up being an autonomous federal district carved out in Alaska as a temporary national home for the Jewish people - ‘temporary’ meaning expiring on the near year as the novel takes place) is just fascinating, and Chabon had a lot of fun with little offhand references to how different the rest of the world has gotten, too. The fact that everyone speaks Yiddish but with occasional catch phrases and curses called out as being said in American was cute, too.

The story itself was just incredibly, almost painfully noir - genius of a police detective with a ruined marriage, crippling alcoholism, and no future is woken up in the middle of the night because a heroin addict who boards in the same hotel as him was found dead by gunshot, discovers that the victim was the firstborn son of a prominent underworld/religious authority, disowned and ostracized for being gay, through this he stumbles into a sinister conspiracy involving the CIA and the death of his sister. He can’t stop the conspiracy but he might just be able to get justice for the murder, etc, etc. The commitment to the genre is fun,but the late night diners and descriptions of hangovers do begin to get old eventually.

It was also kind of dated, in an interesting way? Like, the Federal government spooks being clean cut bible college boys, all polite and well mannered and sincere Christian Zionists trying to get America into a war to help bring about the End Times, really feels like the sort of thing that only gets written during the Bush Administration. (The single tragic too-good-for-the-world dead heroine addict gay guy and the constant jokes about every less-than-perfectly-feminine woman being mistaken for a lesbian, also somewhat dated).

Anyway, think my vocabulary of random Yiddish words about doubled from reading this, and also many themes about Judaism that I am not even slightly qualified to comment on.

41: Rogue Protocol by Martha Wells

This books are so fun. And just about perfectly bite-sized, too.

Or tv episode sized, really - each has about the perfect amount of plot for an hour long episode of network tv, I think. Pity they’re basically unadaptable.

Anyway, not too much to say about this, really, except that Murderbot’s complete inability to understand their own emotions would probably be annoying by now if it wasn’t so funny, and reading it really left a grin on my face.

Or well, also, I do really enjoy all the little hints that the ‘corporate rim’ is actually kind of a galactic shithole, and Murderbot just treats it like the hegemonic default because its all they know. Certainly nowhere else seems to be nearly as bad about synthetic life (nowhere’s exactly good either, mind, but).

42. Radiance by Catherynne Valente

Oh I adored this book.

I mean in large part because I’m a big fan of Valente’s prose when she gets all grandiloquent, and also the basic aesthetic of the setting (High Victorian Space Age by way of the Golden Age of Hollywood on the moon) is just utter catnip to me. But the whole epistolary pretension, telling the story through interviews after the fact and remaining scraps of documentary footage and different drafts of a dramatization made a decade latter that are each completely different genres and occasional clips of Severin’s previous films?

It’s all just showing off to an incredible degree and I’m sure if I didn’t love the book I’d find it unbearably pretentious, but I do, so it’s absolutely great.

The amateur historian in me was kind of irked by the sort of political stasis - it does the fallout thing where the fin de siecle kind of just continues uninterrupted for another fifty years bit with stranger and more wondrous tech, the apocalypse of the Great War put off by all the virgin lands to colonize and everything just kind of continuing as it was (except for the development of the film industry). But that’s kind of a theme. (Much more minorly, the world only seems to have gotten weird in the late 19th century, except that there are sovereign and internationally significant Seneca and Iroquois nations that get mentioned several times, which kind of require a fundamental change to the nature of the American state significantly before then.)

The ending also didn’t really land for me - anything about infinite multiverses honestly makes it difficult for me to stay invested, and anything where the fictional setting tries to encompass/include the ‘real world’ almost always loses me instantly (qualified exception for actual portal fantasy, if it’s good. But introducing the real world in the third act has basically only ever worked for me exactly once).

Which is a pity, because aside from those bits the ending could have been designed to appeal to me in a lab. Was so close to perfection.

43. How to Invent Everything by Ryan North

I took a three week break in the middle, so this technically took me a full calendar month to read. Library was getting pretty angry.

Anyway, I think I said it before but I stand by it - this book would be a significant improvement over the majority of currently existing middle/high school science curriculums. (In the same way that Magic School Bus and Bill Nye taught me more than science class ever did until high school (and even then)).

Anyway, did pick up a lot of interesting trivia, and the author is apparently the dinosaur comics guy(?), which really shows through in the writing (not ALL the jokes come anywhere close to landing, but the ones that don’t are mostly dad-joke like enough that it’s kind of endearing).

Also learned the exact limits of my understanding in (in decreasing order of) mechanical engineering, electricity, and computers. (I really do need someone to gently take me by the hand at some point and explain how basic logic gates doing addition and subtraction ends up with, well, tumblr, or triple A video games, or any of it. Like on a mechanical level.)

Anyway, I should take up sewing. And write the half-essay floating around my head about how horrible mines are and how morally uncomfortable that is.

44. Stiff: The Curious Life of Human Cadavers, by Mary Roach

Okay I forget who on here recommended this to me, but thanks! Was a ton of fun, great light morbid summer read.

Roach has a great sort of chatty style, and she does the thing I normally rather dislike working personal anecdotes and descriptions of people she interviewed into everything, but she honestly actually makes it work.

It came out in the early 2000s and was endearingly dated at times, and vaguely racist in a ‘the strange and exotic Orient!’ way at others, but like generally mostly holds up, I think?

It’s not nearly as difficult a read as you’d expect given the subject matter (‘the human corpse, how it decays, and things we do to it’, essentially). Or, well,that might me a be mostly a me thing, but I found it a trove of fun trivia, anyway.

(The one exception being the section on the history of the pursuit of the human head transplant, and specifically the animal experiments done on the subject. That made me more queasy than anything I can remember reading recently, which is I suppose a useful thing to know about myself.)

#monthly tally #book review #analysis/review #when the tiger came down the mountain #nghi vo #Deaf Republic #ilya kaminsky #The Yiddish Policemen's Union #michael chabon #rogue protocol #Murderbot #Martha Wells #Radiance #Catherynne Valente #How to Invent Everything #Ryan North #Stiff #Mary Roach

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maggins · 3 years ago

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Maggie, my beloved, please share with us your inukag fic recs….

oH ANON MY BELOVED prepare yourself because i have sO MANY RECS and i'm still discovering new fics to read every day it's become overwhelming aaaAAA

anyway, gonna start off with one author in particular: @artistefish!! i've read through maybe 90% of her inuyasha fics, all ranging from one shots to full fledged multichapter stories, and i tell you i will NOT stop singing my praises about how imaginative and creative and charming her stories and AU's are! she's also a GREAT artist and very often the fics in this list have great art to go along with them, so be sure to check out her blog for art as well!! 🥰🥰🥰 here are some of my favorites:

Freak Attraction (AO3) and its sequel, Freak Attraction: Seven Man Circus (AO3) : an AU set in the Meiji era where Inuyasha has been paraded as a freak in a demon circus and Kagome is a schoolgirl who takes it upon herself to set him free. i think this was the first fic/AU 've read from this author and i'm in LOVE with every aspect of it, from the setting to the plot itself to the sweet, sweet developing romance scenes ;;v;; (i'd also recommend checking AF's tags for FA and SMC in her blog for some great art!! i also have a tag specifically for in in my blog lmao)

Miroku Private Eye (AO3) and its prequel Dizzy Defense for an Underdog (AO3) : a magNIFICENT 30's AU that i'm still working on reading through; but i tell you i've already read Dizzy Defense and i'm in absolute love w/ Inuyasha and Kagome in this universe ;;v;; (some side stories!! | AF's tags in her blog: #dizzy defense, #30s au, #mpe | her sideblog @bloodhoundandkitten that i HIGHLY recommend you check out, i'm so in love with it ;;v;; | my tag for this au #iy 30's au

Abnormalities (AO3) : DID SOMEONE ORDER ANGST?? WE GOT SOME ANGST OVER HERE!!! :''')))) okay okay, this is an AU in which instead of staying in the feudal era, Inuyasha and Kagome got stranded in the present era post-series, but it didn't bode well for them once some scientists got wind of their strange powers and abducted them. this one broke me, i tell you 😭 (AF's tag #abnormalities | my tag #fic: abnormalities)

The Last Dog Demon : a The Last Unicorn AU featuring dog demon!Inuyasha and samurai!Kagome (and Miroku and Sango as Schmendrik and Molly Grue respectively which is honestly perfect). i gotta say, i saw that movie for the first time specifically so i could get some insight into what this AU was all about, bc when i saw the art and concepts for it i fell in love with it!! it's still p early in the story, but if you check AF's tag for it you can get some GREAT stuff ;v;

Ghost Hunt AU : oooOOOHHH BOY lemme tell you, ghost au’s are the WORST bc many of them involve the characters not being in the same physical plane, and therefore there being many variations of not being able to see, hear, or touch each other no matter how much they want to, and that kind of pining KILLS ME!!!! yet i still flock toward that shit and have no one to blame but mysELF ASDASFAgAS...... ahem anyway. it’s a ghost au. Inuboy is a 500+(?) year old ghost who’s bound to a decrepit old mansion. Kagome’s a sceptic yet well meaning sister who accompanies her little bro in his ghost hunts. tragic hijinks ensue. please check these tags. i also keep track of it. cry. enjoy. :’)))

honorable mention to the Mummy AU : it has no fic but it has some fantastic art; and honestly, Inu and Kagome as O’Connell and Evelyn fits them sO WELL it’s almost uncanny ashfashg (plu Moroha as Alex?? Miroku as Johnathan?! SANGO AS ARDETH???!! sign me the fuck up)

also wanna mention some of her fics i haven’t gotten to yet but i’m very much planning to: An Epic, Tragic Love Story; The Delinquent Boyfriend; A Memory of Red Flame; and Do Your Own Stunts. i’ll get to them eventually ahsgdasghd

still with artistefish, a collection of one-shots and miscellaneous fics that i really enjoyed:

First Born Sons (ngl this one utterly DESTROYED ME and put me back together by the end 🥺😭😭😭)

He Just Wouldn't Stop

Delayed Reactions

More than a little Distracting

Pros and Cons of Puppy Ears

By Their Fruits

A Mother's Request

Only One Way To Know (honestly i just love the concept of the well being open post-series even if that’s not quite what happened in canon okay Kagome’s family deserves to be part of her life 🥺)

Smell

White Dogs on Blue Cotton

All of your Flaws and All of my Flaws (i’ll be absolutely honest: this one made me cry. a lot. just.... the concept of other people accepting you, flaws and all really hit home with me 🥺)

Her Favorite Present (another trope i wish i could see more of?? Kagome’s friends getting along with Inuyasha and helping him do sweet things for Kagome!! also them being Kagome’s pillars of support during the 3 year gap bc honestly, Kagome HAD to have told them the truth after the whole the-well-disappeared-and-kagome’s-bf’s-disembodied-voice-was-yelling-from-the-ground situation)

The Pilfered Bride

There She Goes (an absolute GEM of a high school AU!!)

AND NOW that that’s out of the way; other recs from other authors! (these are in no particular order btw)

Light Me A Lantern by @inuyashasforest

Never Was Easier by @nerdythangs

Under the Starlight by @fawn-eyed-girl

The Monster Under My Bed by @neutronstarchild

My Heart in Your Hands by @loveyou-x3000

Forever Changed by @lostinfantasyworlds

My Home, Your Heart by @fawn-eyed-girl

Eight Scars by @fawn-eyed-girl

Home

The Most Solemn of Vows by @fawn-eyed-girl

Can Inuyasha Come Out and Play? by @neutronstarchild

Your Name by @clearwillow

Loving Him was Red by @born-for-eachother

Caged Blood by @fawn-eyed-girl

I Don't Deserve Happiness by @fawn-eyed-girl

Hanyou

Warmth

these are honestly just the ones i HAVE checked out or am in the process of checking out (LMaL is so long but sO GOOD i wanna take my sweet sweet time with it lol), but WELP here you go i guess!! i just noticed a few of these aren’t outright inukag like you asked (i just can’t resist fics about Inu’s relationship with Izayoi and with Kagome’s mother asdgasfd) but oH WELL

please be sure to check out all the authors’s other works as well!! i actually just noticed many of my recs are from the same authors and honestly that’s as good an incentive as any to keep up with their work~ so.... much.... to read...!!!

EDIT: i forgot to mention this before but @inukag-archive has a TON of recs and you can ask them for some as well, so it’s a blog worth checking out~

#fic recs #inukag #inuyasha #iy fic #THIS TOOK A WHILE WELP #took even longer to read them all asjhfgasjhfgsa #bUT I HOPE THIS LIST PLEASES YOU #and i more than welcome anyone to drop their recs in the replies 👀👀👀

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skzflix · 3 years ago

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passstt can you do your best to explain the ‘universe’ in depth or at least so it’s understandable bc my ass is clueless 🙃

so, this is my dumb brain linking stuff so please please take this all as what it is — my stupid brain's stupid thinking. this is also the first time i've linked it all out in order. so bear with me. this is loooong. in this universe, we have like three parts: mixtape: on track — b me — mixtape: oh. and it deals with tangled romance and the consequences it has on friendships.

MIXTAPE: ON TRACK

so in mixtape: on track, the universe sets off with the boys in high school, final year, i think. minho and hyunjin are the leads in our whole universe. jeongin is like hyunjin's best friend in this au. they are film and art majors (?) and have this project i presume to make a short film (?). chan deals with the sound, jisung with the lights, changbin with the props, hyunjin with the videography, felix is directing and seungmin is the writer. minho is the main lead in this film and jeongin is a side character in this film.

insert female lead. female lead is close friends with both hyunjin and minho. it's pretty evident that minho and hyunjin likes her and hyunjin constantly does feel bad over minho and her getting closer, because well, he likes her. this feeling turns into a distaste soon enough (as seen in how hyunjin feels pathetic after the girl takes both the drinks from them + how minho shoots the goal while playing soccer and like hyunjin and minho have this weird cold gaze exchange. in both these situations, jeongin is around to help hyunjin. i'll get to this soon.) so like our boy minho and her clearly have sparks and hyunjin dislikes it. high school jealousy, if anything.

that's when hyunjin decides to take action and while shooting, when minho has to grab the female lead's hand, he butts in and holds her hand. all because he likes her and he's done being the second lead in this story. the mv ends here.

now, about jeongin, he did mention in one of his vlive that he was like a guardian angel and i do think he's like a friend that really really cares for hyunjin and doesn't ever want him to get hurt. so the whole mv wraps up in this plot of how hyunjin takes action right when minho and the female lead are slowly getting things going for them.

UNVEIL: B ME

and then we get the unveil track of b me, (how i wish they dropped the mv for this rather!). i'll make a list of stuff that happens in b me first and then tell you how my brain linked it up.

felix with the video camera + tape

jeongin distressed with bruised face

the members reminiscing what they once had before chaos struck.

a script that has even a fool knows (alternative title to on track) written (this was my cue to link them both?)

seungmin, chan and technically the whole cast looking distressed

jisung burning the film competition form (?)

changbin in the court sad and playing alone

biker!minho + biker!hyunjin (THIS ISN'T A POINT BUT THEY ARE SO HOT IN THIS AU SHUT UP RUE!!!)

minho meets with an accident + jisung rushes to his side

angry giving up skz moments

ot8 basketball happy memories

i'm going to sit here and draft this out so again, bear with me, soooo,

i presume the hyunjin grabbing the girl's hand, ofc, did not sit right with minho because technically, minho and her were a thing almost. and that ruined the friendship. this also caused the whole film shooting to turn chaotic, i presume because hyunjin's gaze in the on track mv seemed determined so i think he wasn't ready to back off either. the filming team clearly breaks apart because of this. the tension between minho and hyunjin is still very high. the team is frustrated. jisung burns the film competition form because what's the use of joining when there's no team? changbin is sad and angry and has emotions he is frustrated over (just like the other members!!) because they aren't together as a friend circle distinctly because of the feud between hyunjin and minho. they used to play basketball together (the whole of the ending part!) but not anymore.

now, we see how minho meets with an accident. i'm a bit confused with this part (this is why we need the mv for b me, jyp!!!!) but i'll state out everything i think.

a) jisung is to minho as to what jeongin is to hyunjin.

b) the accident could be solely accidental? maybe minho ran off in a fit after an argument with jeongin and hence why jeongin has the bruises and maybe in that heat, minho could have had the accident.

c) i presume jisung rushes to help him because human guardian angel of sorts of a friendship.

anyhow, i think the small clip of video tape that felix pulls out in the beginning is what they watch together. i do not think this has any correlation to the intense story besides adding the fact that they were reaaaaaaally close because they all look super happy in that shot, omg!!

MIXTAPE: OH

and now here we are, mixtape: oh. (watching and pausing the mv to go as detailed as i can with my storytelling.) this, since it was a mv, we get a story as solid as the first one (thank you, jyp. i hate you generally but thank you for this.)

so we have all the members in the drama club room. the same room we saw in the first mv i think. everyone's gathered back there, picking up their stuff because they have graduated, except for changbin and hyunjin who haven't come. jeongin searches and hopes expectantly for hyunjin to come. the blue certificate kinda thingy (I have no idea what it is. i don't read korean either and my google translate couldn't pick that up :((() is something of hyunjin's and i think minho did want hyunjin to come to this sort of reunion because he gets angry and picks up the blue thingy. he's either mad at that, or he is still mad at what happened in the past. i'm not sure. either ways, jisung is worried too as to what minho is going to do and over what he is feeling. oh, also, minho is in a cast, which means it does go exactly in the order i mentioned !!!

we then see hyunjin (shit, i cried again!) and he's painting an eye (is this a relation with some other skz song i will never know) and i think he took up art after dropping from film club so like he could distance himself from the rest of them, because well, he was 1/2 of the reason why this all happened.

we have the members reminiscing again, thinking about the good times and bad ones too. jeongin is in a tunnel (the boy is always in a tunnel. is this again a link to other mvs i do not know) and changbin goes to the drama club room all alone after everyone leaves and like i think he removed the sign of the drama club room and in my head, it's a symbolism for how everything has finally ended. all the memories they have had had finally ended with their graduation, of sorts, in that moment for him. jeongin, who is in the tunnel calls for hyunjin, like a last thread of hope he clings on to, expecting for him to finally meet them and come back to them. hyunjin doesn't pick up the call.

minho is still packing things up and as he looks through stuff he sees a calender with their anniversary date marked and he remembers of the team together once again. everyone really badly misses the old days. we see jeongin who goes to buy that drink again that he stole from hyunjin in the on track mv and he remembers felix in that moment.

felix who is in the library is with a cake. so i presume it is his birthday because he lights the candle on the cake up eventually. i think he did want to celebrate it with the team as a whole but because of the fall he can't. he opens a book and see the quote, "dreams come true to those who really want them," (we see this on the jisung bus stand shot too btw!!) and he goes on to make a wish on his cake and ie think he wished for them all to be together once again, living the happy memories again. hence the beautiful shots in the end I AM IN LOVE.

so i had this sorta ex lmao who told me this beautiful metaphor once when we broke up about how i left him on the bus of our memories and it was only i who got down and that our timings didn't match. and i think my brain instantly correlated those two, oops. so like the bus is a train of thoughts, a passageway for them to remember the happy memories. changbin remembers the happy memories he had as he looks through hsi phone with the basketball in his hand. jisung also enters the bus and remembers the moments they shared. oh, also changbin leaves when jisung enters. the timings don't match.

TIMESKIP. because this is based off kdramas for sure and what are kdramas without timeskips lmao.

minho's arm is healed. (he's also wearing such a pretty fit i want to steal!) minho goes and tried to meet hyunjin at his art studio because he wants to give it a try, this whole friendship again, i think, but hyunjin isn't there. so he leaves him a note and the certificate (??) blue thingy (?? what is it someone help me!) hyunjin comes back to see them both. this is what happens in the mv, in correlation with the other mvs.

they could clearly make another part of them actually getting together. but personally, i think they do and like felix's wish comes true because the directing is such that they end it with felix opening his eyes. (i also don't want to think of a sad alternative where felix opens his eyes only to remember reality is still the same and the feud still exists. i refuse. in my head, the next part has them coming together just like that in the snow!)

but yes, if you've reached till here, thank you for reading my incoherent mess of thoughts. ily and i hope you have a good day! 💕

#✉️:asks #skz theory #stray kids #skz #this is not proofread and is just a mess BUT HERE THANK YOU 💕

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elysian-phoenix-05 · 3 years ago

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WATTPAD FAN-FICTIONS THAT ARE ACTUALLY GREAT! [BTS edition]

Okay, so, today we will be discussing [or you can say that I will be recommending] some Wattpad fanfictions that I've come across that are shockingly great.

Usually, when we talk about fanfictions,, we generally associate them with cliched, almost devastatingly horrible plot lines, paired with cringy writing, but I'll show you some stories that managed to escape those stereotypes and did a wonderful job in convincing me of the need to own an actual printed version of the work.

I would not provide a self-written synopsis since I suck at that and am notorious for accidentally spoiling stuff, so, I'll provide the name of the book along with the cover page and the author's name, I would also list both the genre and ships that you can expect from the book. [The books would also be rated on a scale of 5 stars, 6 when it is reallllly great.] So, without further ado, let's get it!

Somewhat of a disclaimer:- expect an array of ships in the books I'm recommending, as I don't mind any ships as long as the story is great. And, of course, all the books are a work of fiction, and I hope you treat the story as such. Of course, some of these would handle mature topics, from occasional smut to depression, suicidal tendencies, etc.

1. THE SURVIVORS

The survivors, written by @kxmtae__

THE INTRODUCTION

It was a normal day at school. The long morning classes followed by lunch and eventually dismissal. But dismissal never arrived that fateful day. Instead, something else did entirely.

GENRE

Zombie apocalypse

SHIPS

Namjoon x female

Jin x female

Yoongi x Jimin

Hoseok x female

Jungkook x Taehyung

MY RATING

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ [M U S T R E A D ! !]

2. THE SOLUTION [The sequel to The suriviours]

The solution, written by @kxmtae__

THE INTRODUCTION

After a series of unfortunate events, the squad finds themselves at a loss. Efforts seem to be for nothing, but what happens after Taehyung discovers a newly found piece of information he completely overlooked from the beginning? The journey begins, The journey to save humanity.

GENRE

Zombie apocalypse

SHIPS

Namjoon x female

Jin x female

Yoongi x Jimin

Hoseok x female

Jungkook x Taehyung

MY RATING

⭐⭐⭐⭐ [Kinda, felt that the last section of the book could be better, but, the story is still really good.]

3. BROKEN DOLLIES

Broken dollies, written by @Masquerade16

THE INTRODUCTION

Jimin was the ideal pure teen; innocent, study like his life depends on it, no social life, raised by overly religious parents. Oblivious of the world Jungkook is your ideal popular boy; vain, popular, handsome, has done everything lustful in his life. Both boys stuck in their world, with intense suicidal thoughts for their wasted years. That is until one night Jungkook finds Jimin attempting to take his own life by throwing himself off a bridge

GENRE

Romance, trauma, depression, etc

SHIPS

Jimin x Jungkook

[the rest is yours to figure out]

RATINGS

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ [No amount of words can describe how beautiful this book is! Go and read it!!!]

4. KILLER IN THE MIRROR

Killer in the mirror, written by @IMSugaWonho

THE INTRODUCTION

A newly wedded couple buys a mirror from an antique shop for their new home unaware of the true horror hiding in the mirror. 10 years later, a group of students moves into the house after hearing about the cheap rent not caring for the rundown state the house is in. Slowly they start to realize that there is evil hidden in the house when things start going missing, people disappear, or are found dead. They agree to call a medium to cleanse the house but she reveals that the house isn't the problem. It's something else.

GENRE

Horror, mystery

SHIPS

Taehyung x female

RATINGS

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ [Read it, cowards!]

5. WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS?

Whose idea was this, written by @imhyungry

THE INTRODUCTION

In which Jimin starts a group chat, with a bunch of people he knows, hoping for them all to become good friends despite several of them being confused and unwilling. [aka Jimin becomes the reason for his friends finding the love of their lives, and himself, too.]

GENRE

Top-notch humor, romance

SHIPS

Jimin x Yoongi

Namjoon x Jin

Taehyung x Jungkook

Hoseok x Yugyeom

RATINGS

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐[I've re-read this book more than four times, and is my go-to read whenever I feel down] Okay, imma stop, for now, otherwise, the list will be looooonng.

Should I do a list 2 for this? [I will, probably, do a list two, but I would appreciate it if I did get feedback on doing it or not]

Okay, so that's it for today! Have a nice day, everyone! Go and read these books, and do give me your reviews/opinions regarding the book.

FIND ALL THE PARTS HERE!

PART 1/ PART 2/ PART 3/ PART 4/PART 5

Until then take care!

[sends lots of hugs, love, and support!]

💜💜💜

77 notes · View notes

razorblade180 · 4 years ago

Text

Interdimensional Moms pt3

Part 2 right here! <-

Team RWBY continue their interesting chat about their respective worlds. After the emotional roller coaster that was Weiss’s, a bit of light hearted stories would be welcomed.

Yang:Okay, does anyone have some real feel good things to talk about for their world? Just run of the mill pleasant life?

Ruby:Guess I’m going last....

Yang:Oh no!

Weiss:We’ll circle back to you then. Blake, I guess you’re up.

Blake:Wouldn’t you want calmer stuff at the end?

Yang:Blake, I would very much like to go at least ten minutes without wanting to cry.

Blake:Hmmmm I can guarantee you like...six I think.

Yang:I’ll take it! Blake Belladonna, tell me about a world where you and Jaune Arc are happily married. How did such stars align?

Blake:You make it sound crazy?

Weiss:Blake, there’s list of people I could see you with. Now I’m not saying Jaune couldn’t be one of them, but he’d have to fight his way up that list.

Blake:You...that’s kinda fair. It’s a bit hard to explain really. It happened back at Beacon initially, or our bonding did. Some days his team was busy and I didn’t tag along for the crazy antics you three wanted to do all the time, so we occasionally bumped into each by circumstances. He’d go to the library for a book, I’d do training and he was there, or sometimes he’d knock on our door and not realize I was the only one around.

Weiss:Was he trying to sing to me?

Blake:That plan did show up at our a few times, yes. One of those times I asked him out of nowhere to sing the song anyways because I just had to know if it was any good. Hehe, it wasn’t sonically pleasing at times, but you could tell it was genuine. Eventually though...he just sort of gave up on you. It was actually a little sad to see, even you thought so. It was strange. Jaune was definitely stumbling through his flirting and it came off as childish, yet the day he gave up, it was easy to see his heart was breaking a bit. Like all his insecurities ate even the faux confidence away.

Yang:Ma’am, it has barely been three minutes and I’m getting sad about thinking of Jaune being sad.

Weiss:Yeah don’t tell me I broke his heart!

Blake:Whoops, sorry. It’s important though. Jaune kinda kept to himself a little more after that. He still chatted pretty regularly but it was easy to tell he dived more in studies as a way to keep his head clear, which lead to us being on a project together. I was the only person in our friend group that wouldn’t actively try to make him open up about how he feeling. At first I thought it was a bit rude when he told me that, but I didn’t room to talk when it comes to socializing.

Yang:One more time for the people in the back.

Ruby:I’m the back.

Blake:*smirks* I was very against socializing about my feelings at Beacon.

Ruby:Yeah you were.

Weiss:I couldn’t even ask if you slept well without a lukewarm answer sometimes.

Blake:I’m better now. That’s all that matters. Romance and feeling love is a personal thing and talking about it is uncomfortable. I think we both recognized that in each other during our project. Trouble is, there’s only so many conversation starters and small talk subjects. Talking only about the project was dry and eventually all the facts a person could say about themselves ran out. Favorite food, color, hobbies, etc. We eventually had to dig a little deeper into those topics. To our surprise, we actually more in common than we thought when it came to how we felt about certain pieces of literature and music.

Ruby:Awwww, bonding over smut.

Blake:*red* It wasn’t all adult literature! Some were poems and stuff. Even when the project ended, we began being less formal around each other and hanging out. We went to the bookstores we mentioned and he even got us tickets to bands I liked. It...it was nice. I never really got to have just a normal teenage experience before without it being political. He always felt bad about being average compared to everyone but average was so foreign to me that I welcomed it. I liked having a normal time out. It was a thing we all took for granted. Especially when Beacon fell.

Yang:Yeah, that probably put a real bind on your relationship.

Blake:Actually....we technically never officially started to date.

Ruby:What? You courted each other all of Beacon.

Weiss:Ruby, who the heck says courted? I’m a Schnee and even I have never used the word courted.

Ruby:Hush, I read a lot of bed time stories to a five year old.

Blake:We were a bit shaky on labels. Me for obvious reasons. As for Jaune, it’s really true about what they say about guys when they get heart broken.

Yang: “Never again.”

Blake:Hehehe, it’s funny to look back at it but he’ll tell you it’s a bit cringy. He was so on gaurd. I could tell all the time when he was mentally telling himself to not be excited whenever we hung out or I complimented him.

Ruby:Hey it takes guts to shift feelings to a teammate of your first crush. That could blow up in your face.

Blake:Yeah...about that. *looks at Yang* you...were another reason why nothing was official. You uhhh, we actually had some jumbled up emotions.

Weiss:*sarcastic gasp* You and Yang, liking each other? Who could’ve seen that coming?

Yang:Was it mutual or...

Blake:Very mutual. Also...intimate at times.

Yang:*red* Oh....yeah. Yeah that tracks.

Blake:That jumbled mess was only more confusing after you got hurt trying to rescue me from Adam. Meeting up with-

Ruby:Question, so was Sun just not on your radar?

Blake:Sun? We’re just friends. He’s cute and I’m glad he was there for me when I needed help but things between us were always pretty calm. I think he noticed how confused I was with other people in my life and chose to not add to it.

Ruby:Bless him. Please continue.

Blake:Learning about Salem and reconnecting with you all was a lot. I’d really been out of the loop and my Yang and I were on....shaky ground.

Yang:That’s what happens when you leave someone who’s been left their entire life.

Blake:Sigh...yeah. It was a trying time, but not with JNPR. It’s funny, Oscar and I also hit it off quite well from the jump. I think we were both glad to have each other learn on the craziness at once. Even with readjusting, Jaune and I fell back into a groove naturally. Instead of doing average things we day dreamed of the things we did. Once again we become this little slice of simple life in this crazy adventure. Still didn’t date.

Weiss:What is this, a slow burn!?

Yang:Weiss, you literally didn’t date your Jaune until Atlas.

Weiss:There’s a difference. I didn’t make any heart eyes at him until around Atlas. I say I may have been a little quick. These two were “courting” for over a year at this point.

Ruby:Stop making fun of me!

Blake:Well anyways, I wouldn’t say much was too eventful in terms of romance with world destroying things happening. Salem, she was way too much to deal with. Every move age did was calculated and unrelenting. Keeping our head above water wasn’t easy. In fact, it was boarder line impossible. Yang and I barely beat Adam after all.

Yang:How’d you two feel about that?

Blake:Relieved. Huge weight off my mind, and yet...a piece of me still wishes things never got so dire. At least now I know that in another world, things aren’t.

Ruby:Sounds like your world was put through their paces? You survived though.

Blake:Not conventionally. I gotta say, hearing the ages and how you beat Salem so far makes me feel more than a little embarrassed. To be frank, we didn’t have this grand battle that involved the entire world making a final stand. We had Atlas, and then we had Haven. With their might and a plan to gain more time, we managed to seal Salem in a vault.

Yang:*chokes on water* Y- cough what!?

Ruby:You put her in a vault!?

Weiss:Thah sounds harder than a last stand honestly.

Blake:No matter what way we looked at things, we just weren’t ready for her, so we locked her away until we were. Two years on constant defense from her followers and grimm until Ruby had trained enough to use her silver eyes and we were all strong enough.

Ruby:Two years!? How old was I then?

Blake:Twenty I believe.

Weiss:Hey, you beat mine by a year.

Yang:Not mine, I think we either tied or just narrowly beat yours by like a year. Honestly it hard to keep track of birthdays and stuff.

Ruby:Wow. No offense to myself, but that’s a little disappointing. I guess being the same person really doesn’t mean we were all at the same level.

Blake:Hey, my Ruby put everything she had into saving the world. There wasn’t a second she wasn’t trying her best to defend it!

Ruby:My point exactly. If that was her at her absolute best then by all accounts, she doesn’t hold a candle to me; at least back then anyways. But I have no reason to believe she would be at my level now.

Yang:Okay little miss prideful, care to tell us when you saved the-

Ruby:Seventeen.

The reaper took a long swig of coffee while the others processed that information. It took a her a couple of seconds to realize she may be acting just a tad bit arrogant.

Ruby:Uhh, sorry. I think I was tooting my own horn a bit there.

Weiss:Seventeen....why so soon?

Yang:Why? Don’t you mean how?

Blake:That’s....almost unbelievable.

Ruby:Really? I don’t think so. I’ll dive into it when it’s my turn but for now all I really gotta say is people needed help, and I was going to answer those cries. I bet your Ruby had a similar urgency in her, but for some reason or another just had different limitations. I got hurt a lot as a kid. Maybe an injury did more damage in one universe than another? Who can say?

Blake:I...wouldn’t know. Odd, I know if my Ruby heard this, then she’d probably be more than a little upset. Saving lives is still what she’s all about. I know when she put everything she had into fighting Salem when the day came. All that training paid off. Her skills were polished and her silver eyes eradicated the grimm essence in Salem.

Ruby:Wait, she’s not dead?

Blake:No. Salem roams Remnant with Oz keeping an eye on her until one day she can finally grasp the lesson the gods wanted her to have.

Yang:That uhhh sounds risky.

Weiss:Yet oddly okay?

Blake:Funny, my Weiss said that too. Those two get checked on in secret. Can’t be too careful. With Salem beaten though, Remnant entered a state of...let’s call it average chaos. All in all, it’s way more peaceful but you know, people will be people. Downside about a secret war is you don’t get the unity of the masses. Atlas and Haven working together was still a great step in the right direction though.

Yang:Woah, I’m a little jealous. My world felt like a race against the clock. The pressure either broke you or made you harder than diamond, with most people crushing under it.

Weiss:Yeah. The tension and meet of extremes I had on the frontlines was beyond imagination. The unity was great, but to feel it on the battlefield against the odds was feeling with way too much adrenaline and stress. Can’t say I enjoyed it. I simply lived through it.

Blake:Well it isn’t like I had a walk in the park. But I guess in comparison, my experience was a tad more mellow. Still, people were lost and hurt. Oscar isn’t himself anymore, don’t have Penny, former classmates and a few enemies turned allies fell in battle. Family.... it took a bunch to get the plan of containing, then it took a lot more to do it. In a way though, the two years of training is time I can’t regret. It tested bonds, strengthening and reestablishing others.

Ruby:I take it since love couldn’t bloom on the battlefield, it bloomed in the training yards?

Blake:*red* You can say that. That’s when Jaune and I got serious. *frowning* But.....

Yang:We fell apart?

Blake:Yeah. I didn’t learn my lesson well enough the first time about the potential problems of dating a partner. Only difference this time was I felt like I was the one being cruel. We had gotten into arguments and apologized more than once. Your fear of being left and my own insecurities just kept butting heads. I’d cry, you’d cry, our friends would be concerned. Then the day came where you put it all on the line. You confessed genuinely how much you loved me and how you felt a bit jealous when it came to Jaune. I had never seen you look so vulnerable; letting your gaurd completely down. And though a piece of me loved you and wanted you in my life for ever....this sense of genuine comfort Jaune gave was something I want-needed for so long. So I did the one thing I didn’t want to do. I broke your heart. I hurt you again.

Yang:Sigh....*leans back in chair* Okay, let’s see how well I know myself. My eyes went red automatically, followed by tears. I lashed out at you angrily out of pain and embarrassment until I was probably blue in the face. But to take make things worse, somebody probably overheard. No matter who it was, I yelled at them too for trying to calm me down and then I eventually run off leaving everyone unhappy. A good old meltdown. Sound about right?

Blake:To the letter. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so distraught.

Yang:Of course not, I’ve never been in love before meeting you. I....did a similar thing with my Blake over the stupid Adam shit. *covers face* of all the things to be similar, it had to be my temper. Please tell me our team didn’t suffer too harshly?

Blake:The good thing about two years of training was it didn’t have to be together all the time. Team RWBY didn’t fall apart, but it didn’t feel comfortable either. Outside of missions, the four of us didn’t hang out as much. It was three at the most. Nobody pinned blame on me or Yang for it but it was obvious.

Ruby:I mean how can you blame someone for feeling sad or not in love with someone? Pointing fingers doesn’t do anything. However, I bet missions were rough.

Blake:Bumblebee was shelved. We did any other team up we could. When push came to shove, Yang and I did put feelings aside. Neither of us wanted our feelings to get anyone killed. That’s probably what kept us connected for awhile, especially with Salem. I don’t think we questioned each other when it came to watching one another’s back. Slowly, our relationship got a bit better. Until....we stopped speaking to each other altogether about a couple years later.

Yang:Wait, why!?

Blake:I got pregnant.

The three listeners’ faces scrunched up and they let in a sharp breath like they just got cut. No one had considered that bombshell.

Blake:Marriage was rough enough. Having Jaune’s kid and starting a family just...cut deep I guess. You didn’t make a scene or anything if that’s what you’re worried about. One day you told me “I just can’t do this” and exited my life. I wanted to keep you close to me, but you wanted to be closer. That was a thing I couldn’t do. Hehe, I can’t tell you how weird it is talking to you like this again.

Yang:So that’s it!? We just don’t see each other at all!?

Blake:Certain events and celebrations have us in the same room, but that’s all. Ruby is the only thing that regularly links us, but she’s busy living life too.

Ruby:Is it a good life?

Blake:The best. You’re the huntress you always wanted to be and a hero to many.

Ruby:*smiles* Really? That’s good. May she ride that high for as long as she can. Though I bet she wished she had a special someone to share that with.

Blake:Huh? Oh, you married Weiss.

Weiss:*red* What!?

Ruby:Aye, nice.

Weiss:Weren’t you upset about thinking of other people with Jaune besides you!?

Ruby:Yeah, but I won’t deny if I am going to be with someone that isn’t him, I’m very happy it’s the other special person in my life. I mean come on, the only reason we don’t get weird in your universe is because I married your brother and you already invited my sister.

Weiss:I mean...it’s mainly the brother portion. The second part...

Ruby:Weiss, that’s weird.

Yang:Eh...

Ruby:IT’S WEIRD! YOU CANNOT TELL ME OTHERWISE!

Yang:*sips coffee* Eh.

Blake:Anyways, Weiss, you’re running your company. The Schnee Dust Company was scrubbed top to bottom to remove as much corruption as possible. No department was overlooked. In times of money, there’s a notable decrease in how much the company used to make.

Weiss:Gee, I wonder if that’s because the other me is doing oh let me guess, paying all their workers and not cutting corners in safety?

Blake:The SDC people approval has gone up considerably, just so you know that too. Turns out people like it when the company they buy from have good morals.

Weiss:Am I happy though? I make time for my social life and hu- I mean wife?

Blake:Yea, you’re happy. In a way I think we’re all happy, but....

Yang:We’d be happier if we were all happy together? Yeah, that’s how it works. You’re only as happy as the most miserable person in a family or group; if you all care about each other that is. Ugh, I wanna punch the other me. I get how she feels but it’s fucking immature to just ignore years of teamwork and family. At the end of the day, team RWBY is a family! Can’t believe I’d runaway from it instead of figuring out...I don’t know! Something!

Blake:*small smile* Well if you feel that way then there’s no reason to believe she doesn’t. My Yang just struggles with it more I guess, but I hope she can come around one day. Not really for my sake, but for her own peace of mind. As well as Lucas’s.

Ruby:Lucas? Your son I take it?

Blake:Mmhmm. My strong and lazy young man. He got his father’s hair but my eyes and ears. I can’t think of a person who warms my heart quite like him. He acts uninterested in a lot of things, but his heart is so big.

Weiss:Ah, so he’s just you?

Blake:More or less hehe. Though I’d say I was passionate about things all my life. Lucas will sleep all day if he could and doesn’t like going out without a reason.

Weiss:Still sounds like you if I’m being honest. Teenager?

Blake:Seventeen, almost eighteen.

Yang:You said he’s need peace of mind too? I’m not...hostile towards him am I?

Blake:No, not by a long shot. On the occasions you two have meant, you were polite. It’s just he knows why you don’t visit or talk to me. That’s rough, knowing your parent’s closest friend stopped being apart of their life because you were born. I think sometimes he believes it’s actually his fault.

Yang:I really, really want to meet this other me and have a few words. She needs to know she isn’t trying hard enough. I’m proof.

Ruby:Yeah, but you’re only well off because the person that helped you get over Blake, was Jaune. Yeah she still can find love, but who that person will be would be uncharted territory for everyone.

Blake:Also I’m not entirely sure exactly if my Yang is even bi like you.

Yang:Sigh....

Weiss:Love.

Blake:Huh?

Weiss:As long as a person shows your Yang genuine love and a place in their heart where she’ll remain forever, Yang would fall for them. They just have to make it a point to make her feel like they’ll stay. Yangs are softies like that.

Yang:Wow, you an expert on me and all the versions of me now?

Weiss:No, you’re just a bleeding heart that’s super emotional. Let me guess, you fell for Jaune the moment you realized just how relaxed and vulnerable you could allow yourself to be around him.

Yang:*red*.......he holds me when I’m overwhelmed.

RWB:Awwww

Yang:Shut up! Blake, take the heat off me.

Blake:Not too much more. Lucas is a smart kid who generally stays out of trouble. Unfortunately, trouble finds him. Mainly because of his semblance.

Ruby:Don’t tell me...

Blake:No no, it’s not bad luck like your uncle, but Lucas can’t always control it so their similar in that regard. Premonitions, that’s his semblance.

Weiss:Like...the future? You child can see the future?!

Blake:Yeah. *sips drink* it’s terrible.

Ruby:What? That sounds so handy! Man, if I could someone fighting me before it happened, I’d be a monster on the battlefield.

Blake:Lucas isn’t a fighter. Well, he’s not aspiring to fight. He can fight, pretty dang well in fact.; but randomly seeing the future is not a gift. Imagine picking up a book and you suddenly know the ending, or watching a movie and you start seeing the middle of it right after you press play?

Yang:Ahhh, that’s why he’s lazy and unmotivated. His semblance is massive spoiler alert. Half the fun of new things is not knowing what will happen.

Ruby:Oof, you have a point. I’d be paranoid to no end.

Blake:To a point, he was. Ever since he was ten. Disasters happen at the drop of a hat. Lucas isn’t the kind of person to watch bad things unfold, so whenever it was possible or even if it was risky, he’d do whatever he could to prevent said disaster. But.....there’s only so much anyone person can do. There’s only so much information he sees. The constant strain and guilt that came from failing ate him up. The. There’s the incidents he’s seen that didn’t show him how it began or how it will end. *rubbing her hands* It’s bad...

Weiss:Hey, I...I’ve noticed your hands and frankly even your face are a bit....slim. Your skin isn’t as colorful as I’m used to either. Almost like it’s regaining color.

Blake:Hehehe.......I guess you were bound to notice of all people.

Weiss:Of course. I may not run a a company in my world but I keep tabs on my brother and have had my fair share of visits to a doctor. Why wouldn’t I notice.

Yang:So can we talk as if there are people who have no clue what’s going on?

Weiss:Blake has had one of two things happen to her. She’s either worked way too hard to the point she’s not taking care of her health, or she’s fallen very ill and her body is still recovering.

Blake:Yeah, it’s more of the second one, but probably because of the first one as well. Forwarding equality, I was overzealous with it. One day Lucas just started shaking and crying when he was twelve and I couldn’t understand why. Turns out he kept seeing me bedridden and unconscious without a reason. Day in and day out he simply cried and tried his best to get another premonition to learn more, but couldn’t. A week later I started feeling a little dizzy, and then blacked out after vomiting. At first I thought maybe I had the flu or something. Nope, a tumor.

Weiss:What?

Ruby:Blake!?

Yang:Oh shit, are you-

Blake:Perfectly fine! *smiles* I’m fine. Liver cancer, but it was caught early. No more tumor what so ever, but the meds and the entire process was really draining. Got sicker a couple of times. Not once did I feel like I was dying necessarily, more like...slipping? I felt myself getting drained. The whole time Lucas was so scared; blaming himself for not preventing this or knowing how to fix it. Though simply knowing he saw me like was a warning most people wish they got. I know I said seeing the future is terrible, but the scariest part through all of this was not knowing how it ended. Choosing medicine, doctors, surgery possibilities, it made me crack under pressure a little. I think he noticed that. I wasn’t sure if I picking an option that lead me dying or getting better. The stress alone may have killed me. Ever since then Lucas hasn’t been so outgoing.

Ruby:....

Weiss:....

Yang....It was already said, but there was no way this wasn’t going to get sad was there?

Blake:Take it from me, there’s joy in pain. So many people came to visit me when I was recovering. Even Yang dropped by for a bit. After I got out, I don’t think Lucas ever hugged me so hard. Jaune tried to stay calm through the whole ordeal but it was rough for him too. He was all but spent emotionally when I came home.

Weiss:I’m surprised Lucas didn’t become an older brother.

Blake:The last thing a recovering patient needs is a pregnancy, but as far as missing me goes...

Ruby:You can stop right there with that tangent.

Yang:We’ll talk about that in private. I wouldn’t mind that story.

Blake:*playfully rolls eyes* These days I try not to over do things. I’ve only officially been deemed completely cured for about a year. I can feel that I’m still not entirely up to strength. It’s fine though. It gives me an excuse for Lucas to dote on me a little. He’s a mama’s boy at heart. My biggest worries these days is peeling him out of this shell his semblance had put him in. At the very least I want him to smile like he used to and find away to live in moment when possible. His entire life is ahead of him. Hopefully he doesn’t see all of it.

Ruby:I guess too much of anything really is bad. Knowledge included. I hope things work out.

Yang:Me too. A happy life is something you definitely earned.

Blake:Thanks. That seriously means a lot, which is why I made sure to not end this on a sour note.

The happy faunus pulled out her scroll to scroll through pictures and her friends eyes lit up. The first one was a beach photo. This Jaune was different from what they were used to. He let his hair grow a little bit longer and the back went down his neck, but it was definitely still him. This jaune was pretty toned and went for a lean look than bulky like Weiss’s, but a tad slimmer. On his shoulders was an adorable toddler with wide amber eyes and big blonde cat ears. Both men were enjoying the sunset on the waves.

The next photo was more recent with Blake right in the middle of hopping into Lucas’s arms. Weiss noticed the girl still had on the hospital bracelet. She must’ve just gotten cleared. Lucas had grown like a weed. He was now roughly Jaune’s height. His hair was messy and looked like Jaune’s in his younger years. Also like his father, Lucas was jacked! His sleeveless purple shirt should off his biceps as they wrapped around Blake’s torso for a hug. His baggy purple shorts had black and gold trim through the seams and the shorts stopped right below his knees; but showed of his well defined calves. A smile of pure joy and what could’ve been a few tears were visible as he looked lovingly at his mother. It warmed all of the ladies hearts. Still, the girls also could tell under his eyes were a little dark. Lucas must’ve been very tired.

The final picture had to be the most recent. It was Blake and Lucas sparring. Both looked at each other with excitement and ease as their wooden blades clashed. Their clothes mirrored one another by being black and white kimonos. They even wore the traditional shoes and everything.

Weiss:Yeah, that’s your kid.

Blake:Damn right. Unfortunately that makes him a little too stubborn. But I guess that’s okay. Without a doubt, someone’s gonna break through that shell of his.

Yang:Oh? It sounds like you already know who?

Blake:Well....I have a hunch.

xxxxx

RING! RING! RING! Lucas’s scroll chirped, in the middle of the night. The boy let out a long, agitated groan of sleepiness as he rolled over in bed; reaching for his scroll on the nightstand to answer.

Lucas:Hello?

???:Did you know you are mathematically more likely to choke on a hotdog than get attacked by a shark?

Lucas:....Serenity, who gave you my number?

Serenity:Your parents, and it’s Serendipity!

Lucas:Too many syllables. Also a bit ironic given who you are. With the way you act though, my name for you is better.

Serenity:Ooooo so we’re moving on to pet names? How forward of you.

Lucas:Five seconds before I hang up. Three...two-

Serenity:You’re late! You promised to guide me around the beach at twelve. That’s now.

Lucas:.....P.M. Twelve P.M. Serenity. Why in the world would I mean midnight!?

Serenity:It’s romantic and personal. Nobody else is around. I thought you were trying to use that Belladonna magic on me by acting all cool and aloof in the moonlight.

Lucas:.....

Lucas:Please delete my number.

Serenity:Not on your life, my whiskered bodyguard!

Lucas:Don’t have whiskers-

Serenity:If you don’t wanna move that butt of yours to hang out with a pretty girl in a floppy hat and sundress with a bikini underneath, that’s your loss. I’m still going for a dip.

Lucas:Do not go in the water when nobody is around.

Serenity:Pfft, I’m a strong swimmer.

Lucas:Sharks.

Serenity:It’s more dangerous to eat a hotdog.

Lucas:Sharks feed at night.

Serenity:Are you trying to tell me the statistics aren’t as reliable just because it’s nighttime.

Lucas:That’s exactly what I’m saying.

Serenity:Then you better move your butt just in case. Either you get a snack or the sharks do. Either way, I get attention.

Lucas:Difference is one wants to eat you.

Serenity:My goodness Lucas, oh brazen of you.

Lucas:......

Lucas:Tell the sharks I said hi.

Serenity:Okay! Byyyyyyeeeee! *hangs up*

Lucas:(She’ll be fine.)

..........

Lucas:*putting on shoes* This is bullshit. Who thinks midnight!? *walking down stairs* Can’t have a peaceful day or night....

Jaune:*watching tv* Hey Lucas, going some-

Lucas:I’m giving out your phone number to a homeless man the first chance I get! *walks out door*

Jaune:.....(Whatever gets you outside more.)

It took about fifteen minutes of aggressive walking for Lucas to wrap around to the back of his house towards their section of the beach. Where Serenity walked around humming and collecting seashells without a care in the world.

Lucas:The next shell you grab will have a crab in it.

Serenity:Huh? Oh hey you’re finally-ahhhh! Ow ow ow ow ow ow!

Lucas:Should’ve listened.

Serenity:Have a better warning!!!! It won’t let go!

Lucas:Pull it off.

Serenity:That’s hurt!!! Lucas, help!

Lucas:Fine, if you delete my number.

Serenity:*sniffling* Stop being mean!!! This really hurts, it’s breaking the skin. Isn’t a young and pretty girl’s tears payment enough!? I thought you were getting paid to-

Lucas:Oh my goodness! Okay, just shush. I’m too sleepy for this.

Serenity:You’re mean when you’re sleepy. At least your waking up voice sounds handsome though.

Lucas:Please....stop. Stop everything. *removing crab* Happy?

Serenity:No, you’re not happy. Also my finger is bleeding.

Lucas:Yep, looks like you can’t go swimming now for real.

Serenity:Eh, I lied anyways. I’m not getting in that water. There are sharks in that watery grave.

Lucas:So. Why. Did. You. Wake. Me. Up?

Serenity:....*red* I...don’t really, have friends here. Besides you. Umm *points to pail and shovels* sandcastles?

Lucas:*inhales*......I’ll get the water.

Serenity:*smiles* Yes! I’ll delete your number later.

Lucas:*red* You....can keep it of you really want.

Serenity:....Kek, okay Mr. Tsundere

Lucas:You can remove the next crab alone.

Serenity:Don’t joke like that! That was a joke, right?

Lucas:Welp that pail isn’t gonna fill itself. *leaves*

Serenity:What!? Lucas!!! You were joking right!? Right!? *looking around the sand* you’re a lousy bodyguard!

Lucas:Good, fire me.

Serenity:I...you....ugh!

Lucas:Cheer up, I’m happy now after all. *smiles*

Serenity:*pouting* This is why I’m a dog person.

#rwby #the void #jaune arc #ruby rose #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #rwby knightshade #lucas belladonna #rwby ships #rwby premonition

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saphirered · 3 years ago

Text

The Wizard and the Warrior

Boy it’s been busy. Double shifts whenever I’ve been free and uni starting again have really been a hassle but I managed to get in some writing so I hope you enjoy this final instalment of the Eldritch Knight series! Was going to split this one in two parts but didn’t work out so sorry for that. Hope you like it! 😘

You didn’t know what to expect when you were pulled through the world away from the homey Xhorhaus but you definitely didn’t expect the sound of waves in the distance and seagulls, the subtile smell of salt water and sand and an ocean breeze to hit you when you reappeared. Upon your vision taking in the new surroundings you find yourself standing under one of the opal archways looking out over a covered market selling all sorts of goods from street foods and drinks to knickknacks and jewellery, merchants calling for the attention of the people strolling about, negotiating prices or shouting their latest discount to pull in new customers. You’re in Nicodranas.

Essek knew he made the right decision when he sees the joy and excitement on your face. His feet tap the ground and he walks instead of floating, not wanting to draw any more attention that necessary and instead just enjoy these moments with you without the possibility of people finding out who you really are. Today you’d just be normal people without the weight of the world balanced on your shoulders. Today you got to be ordinary tourists exploring a city you otherwise never could. Nobody knows you’d be here.

You stroll about the market arm in arm moving from shop to shop and stand to stand inspecting wares, admiring them and listening to the stories the merchants tried to sell you. Both of you knew better and were able to easily distinguish truth from lies but that didn’t mean you didn’t like playing along every so often.

When you reached near the end of the market square the canopies started leaving gaps and eventually disappeared. Essek did his best to hide his winces whenever the sunlight was particularly bright. The sun was setting but it would still be another hour or so until it was fully set and he might have underestimated the brightness of the light. He didn’t let it bother him and pulled through. The slight discomfort is one-hundred percent worth looking upon your face as you bartered with another merchant.

Essek was partially blinded from where he stood while you browsed the wares of a man selling all sorts of curiosities but he couldn’t really move elsewhere without leaving your side or stepping into the path of walking people so he stuck and stayed relying on his hearing instead. You were bartering with the man as he put prices to the things you showed interest in and you tried to get a better price because you were fully aware you could get something similar if not the same for much cheaper. Essek couldn’t do anything but admire your skill and careful navigation of this encounter showing you had not left your wits with your armour back in Rosohna.

Once you got a good deal you bought your findings; a wide sheer shawl more like a thin blanket to wrap around your shoulders as you knew upon nightfall the breeze could bring a chill, a decorated silver bracelet with an inset purple gem that showed silver specks like stars whenever it caught the light just right and something else… Once done you pulled Essek aside into the full cover of one of the canopies and Essek was thankful for the break.

You’d expected Essek to have broken or admitted to his discomfort before when you noticed him wince every time the canopy lifted upon the wind and allowed the sun to bleed through right where he stood. You knew drow senses are attuned to darker spaces and in turn therefor experience a sensitivity to daylight.

“Will you stop being stubborn and just admit when something bothers you?” You say sternly as Essek rubs his eyes to get rid of the dark spots clouding his vision. When he sees the look you give him he bites his lip in shame. Apparently he hadn’t done such a good job of hiding it after all.

“I may not be able to do anything about the sunlight but I can do this.” You take out a parasol of a dark grey almost black colour with ornate lace designs added to it. It does enough to shield those under from the light and should prevent Essek from experiencing downsides of his drow heritage. Before he can protest you link your arm with his again holding the parasol above the two of you and shield yourselves from the light.

“Don’t worry. You can thank me by providing your company over a meal with me until the sun sets and we can go outside again without you burning off your retinas. I know just the place.” You smile as you begin leading Essek away to a different part of the city. You may not be the most familiar with Nicodranas but you know how to get to most places you’ve been before. You know your way from this market square to the Lavish Chateau so you begin leading Essek in that direction.

“There’s a great fish and chips shop on the way near Tidepeak I don’t think that kind of street food is really your style.” You say as the Tidepeak comes into view.

—————

Meanwhile the Nein and Verin stumble out into the teleportation circle room at the Tidepeak. They cracked the code and figured it out based on the list of places Verin had found among Essek’s notes. They knew exactly where Essek was going so it wouldn’t be much effort to find you two right? What harm has a little spying ever done to anyone? Maybe don’t answer that question. They had come for their own reasons be that to watch an epic romance unravel, dig up some dirt to tease or blackmail either of you with, or simply to keep the others in check.

“Shit. Should we have send a message?” Jester panics looking around for the goblin that usually helps them on their way and informs Yussa of their arrival.

“Not again.” Beau exclaims in exasperation. Yes again. And again they explain to Wensforth this is a matter of the utmost importance and expediency and they couldn’t have sent a message beforehand or lost too much time. Wensforth luckily for them didn’t have it within him to question their strange reasonings as he escorted them out of the tower and left the to their business.

—————

Within the Lavish Chateau you found out Essek had made a reservation and the guards and servers seemed to be extremely welcoming and attentive to the both of you for some reason you raised an eyebrow when a top shelf bottle of wine was brought out and left at your table once your glasses were poured and you awaited your food.

“Do I want to ask how you did all this?” You swirl your finger around gesturing to your surroundings. “Because last I was here, not even the daughter of the Ruby of the Sea and her friends get this kind of attendance.”

“Then perhaps it’s best you don’t ask.” Essek smiles proudly.

“How many of the Nicodranian nobility have cleared their debt with the Dynasty or reminded of their indiscretions then?” You ask giving him a look over your glass as you take a sip of delicious wine. Top shelf really is worth it.

“I thought you weren’t going to ask.” You hook your ankle around his from under the table and pull your leg back, Essek briefly loses balance but not enough to throw him off and fall from his seat. He gives you a disapproving and teasing look as you laugh. Food is served and just like everything, it’s perfect. Essek really put in the work to make this all happen and if the sunlight hadn’t thrown you off his schedule you can’t even fantom what else he had planed for your date. Though, he didn’t seem to mind the change of plans a single bit.

Pleasant conversation about everything and nothing all the same, asking questions so trivial you didn’t think Essek would ever even have been capable of being so relaxed and free of responsibility. When it falls silent for a second and Essek catches you staring at him in thought he studies you closer.

“What?” Essek asks as you hum.

“Just thinking?”

“A copper for your thoughts then?” Essek puts his glass down. He doesn’t want to pry or ask out of turn but he is curious as of what got that dreamy expression on your face when you retreated within your own mind for that moment.

“All of them?” You grin.

“If you are willing to reveal them.” Essek returns to your surprise, fully aware of the meaning behind your words and yet he still plays along. These kind of moments are rare with Essek unless you are completely alone so you’ll revel in the fact that he lets go like he does right now and hope you’d be able to see this side more often.

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want you to get all flustered upon my voicing certain thoughts.” You tease, mischievous look in his eyes as he leans in on his elbows on the table and tilts his head amused.

“Then perhaps keep it limited to your most recent ones? For now at least.” You snort and almost choke on the sip of wine you took bur recover quickly. You definitely didn’t see that one coming.

“Oh so he does play the game in public without shame. You are full of surprises today, aren’t you?” You drop the teasing and turn to your observation. “I was just thinking I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so carefree. I’d love to see this side of you more often if you’ll let me.” The teasing drops from Essek’s face and his expression turns into one of genuine affection.

“I’d love nothing more.” Your glasses are refilled as the crowd begins gathering for the performance of the Ruby of the Sea.

—————

The Mighty Nein and Verin follow Jester leading them from place to place on the list but no matter how much they search they can’t find you. Last they heard you were seen buying some stuff from a merchant and then nothing so they had resorted to going down the list until they’d found you but still nothing. Over an hour had passed and the sun long since set, lanterns lit to lead the ways.

They search high and low following the list Verin had found but don’t find you and Essek anywhere. Nicordanas is a big city and turns out finding a buff pretty person and a hot boi drow are a lot harder to find than they initially thought. So, having given up the search they instead turn to a place to drink and wallow in self pity for not spying on the date. Jester knows just the place… No better place than the Lavish Chateau. Maybe her mom will even perform tonight!

When they reach the Lavish Chateau the crowd’s already gathering but with sheer determination and the threatening of some they make it through and find a table, their drinks served as Jester goes off to say hi to her mom before the performance. Then of course Verin and Beau ask about a couple, describing you and Essek having come through here. Instead they’re pointed to a private table out of the direct sight of the entrance but in full view of what is to be the Ruby’s performance space, and if Beau knows anything, a really really expensive bottle of wine shared between the two of you as you sit around laughing and engaging in happy conversation.

As they watch, Essek and you suddenly being the most interesting thing in the entire room they notice a blush creeping up your face as you twirl one of the flowers in your hair returning an equally daring comment of your own, your fingers dancing over the back of Essek’s hand outstretched towards you until he closes his hand and grasps them. You gasp and giggle as he intwines your fingers with his and you making a comment that sends a deep purple crawling up the wizard’s cheeks. The Nein watch, some swooning at the cuteness, the others in surprise and a hint of disgust akin to that of watching your sibling be sugary sweet romantic with their partner you do not want to witness, and the rest like encouraging friends glad their friends have found happiness within each other.

The performance is about to begin and you spot a blue tiefling running down the stairs as quick as she can darting to one of the tables. You already had the feeling you were being watched for the past fifteen minutes but thought nothing of it as since no action was taken yet and the crowd grew, if it were assassins or the likes again, they’d have come for you before as to not make a scene. Getting confirmation your friends had tracked you to Nicodranas and found you here. You’re not surprised but rather impressed and the addition of what clearly looks like a drow soldier of some repute with features similar to Essek lead you to believe this must be his infamous brother he’d been complaining about plenty of times. You move your chair as if to get a better view of the performance to come and sit right next to Essek. You weren’t the only one who noticed them.

“Do you think they know we know they’re here.” Essek leans into your shoulder as he speaks.

“No. Not this time but if you weren’t so caught up in admiring me you’d have noticed them first.” You lean in closer, whispering into his ear as you speak.

“You are quite distracting.” Essek defends with a laugh.

“I’ve seen Beau and your brother gag and complain twice now. Is this the point where we return the favour and give them a show to remember?” You suggest with a glint of mischief within your eyes.

“How could I refuse?” Essek’s word are enough for you to further provoke the Nein and take it up a notch, or several.

“Tell me if something makes you uncomfortable and I’ll stop.” You halt your teasing and allow your tone to turn more serious. Essek does the same when you do.

“Only if you promise to do the same.” Essek doesn’t know if it’s the wine or your shared desire to make them suffer for interrupting your date like they did. Probably the latter. Most definitely the latter. Let them squirm.

The Ruby comes down the stairs singing and everyone hangs onto her every word, her entire being like she’s a siren from the depths ready to lure in hopeless sailors. As her performance continues you move yourself closer to Essek until your sides are pressed together. Essek’s arm wraps around you pulling you close into his side and to your surprise, onto his lap. You lean your head against his shoulder and whisper sweet nothings, as you play with the fingers of his free hand lovingly. You pay attention to the performance, little attention needed for this display of affection as it comes surprisingly natural and unrestrained to the both of you.

You lift your head and lean towards Essek, but an inch away from his lips, making eye contact as you whisper something to him but the Nein can’t hear over the singing and you’re too far away to lip read for anyone. It’s so frustrating but holy hells, they never knew Essek had a romantic bone in his body, let alone the guts to drop his composed and emotionally constipated side completely around you. They definitely didn’t see this coming and even Beau could relate to Jester’s possible ideas of turning this into some kind of smutty romance novel because that’s what it looked like.

When you leaned back, always teasing and never close enough to actually kiss, you watched the performance more. Both you and Essek admired the show the Ruby was putting on. Her song as beautiful as she is but you might have connected with her a little more than anyone else in the room because when she passed your table and saw you and Essek she gave you a knowing smile. A knowing smile that showed she knew exactly when a performance was being put on, the courtesan’s ability to read people shining through once more when she winked at you before she turned around and found her way to the table of the Nein, distracting them from you and pulling the attention to herself.

Essek was surprised and didn’t really know what to make of what just happened but next he knows he’s being pulled away from his seat by you and dragged to a side exit, abandoning the table mid performance. Out in the street you take off running and then it hits him; a moment of privacy. You played everyone, even him in the end when you appeared to have your attention fully on the Ruby of the Sea but instead you had a nonverbal agreement with the woman. Regardless of his thoughts you kept running towards the eastern edge of the city, through the gates and to the beach. Freedom.

The moon and stars and city lights within the walls as your light source you pulled Essek along to the shoreline, laughing your asses off. You’ll have to remember to give Marion a big thanks next time you see her. Once safely away from the city sure you’re far enough away from the city you slow your pace and walk side by side along the beach.

“As clever as ever.” Essek compliments as you bump your shoulder into his with a grin. You offer Essek a hand as you climb over some rocks blocking your path. Essek takes it but instead of climbing he just hoovers over without any difficulty.

“While, I’d gladly take credit I think you deserve at least half. Did you see the looks on their faces?” Your laughter rings like chimes in reminisce of your friends. It’s music to Essek’s ears.

“I could never forget.” You stop and lower yourself onto the sand, gently pulling Essek’s arm inviting him to join. He does and sits down next to you as stare at him.

“Today was a good day. We should do this more often.” You sigh in content. There’s just something about the drow and the starry night sky behind him that makes him look so ethereal, you could look at him for ages and never get bored.

“Being run out of a city by our friends for a moment of privacy?” Essek deadpans and you playfully shove him.

“While it was certainly eventful I think I could do without uninvited company next time.” In comfortable silence you both watch the view. Moon reflecting on the ocean, sound of gentle push and pull of the water against the shore and the thousands of stars scattered throughout the sky giving the both of you a sense of warmth and comfort.

“You certainly found your courage tonight. I never thought you capable of such intimate displays of affection.” You comment and Essek turns his gaze to you. Despite the low light you notice the slight darkening of his cheeks a he takes in a breath.

“I partially blame the determination to push my brother’s buttons.” You snort.

“And the other part?” Essek decides to humour you with and answer even though you hadn’t expected one.

“You, as my partner in crime as some might say, made it easy to put on such a display. Though, I will admit to not being so open and frivolous in my affection with an audience, I did enjoy them nonetheless.”

“Well then, I’m glad my frivolous affection brings you joy.” You say and Essek is about to correct himself for his words but stops when he notices you holding back your smile. You know exactly what he meant and when Essek notices it’s his turn to gently shove you. You gasp even though you’re physically unmoved.

“Aren’y you all courage tonight? Careful now or I’ll toss you into the ocean.” You jest.

“It seems both of us have not been lacking any courage this night.” Essek comments and he’s right. With the antics of the day, and your grand escape, you might never have had it been any other situation. You really did enjoy it and wouldn’t change a single thing. Well, maybe add something but there’s no time like the present so maybe you’ll just ask.

“Then, in a bout of courage, I will ask you this. May I kiss you?” Essek does a double take in case he heard your words wrong but the expression written all over you confirms he has in fact heard you loud and clear. Still he doesn’t miss a beat in his answer. He’s already made up his min.

“You certainly may.” With that you close your eyes and lean in placing your lips onto Essek’s in a gentle kiss. No pretend, no faked lust or intimacy but honest, clear and unrestrained emotion. When you pull away you’re both smiling like fools.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” You whisper as Essek leans in carefully to kiss you this time, lips moving together in a slightly deeper kiss. His hand finds your cheek holding your face lightly caressing a thumb over your cheekbone.

“I could say the same.” Essek speaks when you pull apart for a moment, foreheads leaning against each other. Many more kisses follow, varying from gentle and sweet to passionate and deep, whatever suits your needs. You have no intention of getting off this beach near Nicodranas any time soon nor do you have anywhere to be so here you’ll stay enjoying each other’s company until the sun rises.

From behind the rocks not too far away, eight people watch the wizard and the warrior finally do what some of them had hoped they would in the months they’ve gotten closer. Others are turning away while maybe peaking through at times, solely to see their friends happy with each other despite the chaos of the world but not without going right back to quieting their gagging noises of ‘not wanting to see the people who they consider their family making out’.

“Oh my god! This is going to be so good, you guys. They’re so cute!” Jester whispers already taking notes and working out the story in her head. It’s going to be an epic love tale of two star-crossed lovers for sure. Maybe she can question you on the more spicier details later, get this book to sell at the Chastity's Nook some day?

“Ugh. Let’s go. I can’t watch this any longer. Drinks?” Verin doesn’t resist and follows Beau, Yasha and Fjord back to Nicodranas. Caduceus has a bit more difficult of a time to drag the cleric and rogue away as the latter enabling her actions instead of giving you some much deserved privacy. He succeeds eventually leaving you and Essek behind to enjoy the rest of your night with a smile. Nothing better than people finding their own happiness.

#critical role x reader #critrole x reader #mighty nein x reader #essek x reader #essek thelyss x reader

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