#(chat

[greg-montgomery]

bau groupchat with Jack stealing your phone and answering all the questions about you and hotch (and the fact that you're together rn 🤭)

bonus blurb

[thespineoftherighteous]

i just think that. Aaron starts going to night practices sometimes. not to practice but just to sit with Andrew.

[kjones-fandom]

Neil Josten, Katelyn Mackenzie, and Erik Klose need to be best friends. Someone needs to write a fic where those three go bar hopping while the cousins are busy with something. I wanna see them getting drunk tattoos, singing karaoke, and talking about their SO. Expect they are all in love with their partners so instead of the stereotypical shit talking they are waxing poetics and sharing stories.

[scribsisnotdead]

drew aphmau kitties to feed the demons in my soul

[mischievousmoony]

this most certainly would’ve been my phone background at 14

[ashstillalive]

brb gonna go hyperfixate on criminal minds

[minoment]

Ughhh what about any sub character begging for me to breed them after something turned them on while I’m reviewing and writing reports

u know HOW PPL LOOK SO MUCH GOOOOODDDD IN A SUIT (drools)

and me being the insanely NICE individual I would probably make them wait the entire time maybe cockwarm me??

Then I would probably breed them until they pass out and make them scream so fucking hard that they couldn’t even make noise for a week and walking got threw out the door eons ago

I PROMISE IT’S BECAUSE OF THE SUIT AND DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE I’M SO FUCKING STRESSED AND THEY LOOK SO GOOD BEGGING

The way I instantly thought of Aaron Hotchner

He seems to be the type to grunt and whimper, occasionally groaning; especially if you're jerking him off in his office. Once you get home and you have him to yourself, he's moaning and begging for you.

THE THINGS I WANT TO DO TO THIS MAN HE HAD NO RIGHT LOOKING THIS GOOD IN A SUIT.. I love dilfs so fucking much bro

Warnings: sub aaron, dom reader, true gn reader, very lovey dovey sex, aaron and reader being absolutely WHIPPED for each other, reader can have a dick or a strap, mild begging, implied morning sex, cockwarming, grinding, implied overstimulation

You sat in your home office, reviewing a few case files from the past few weeks. The door opened quietly and then shut, Aaron's gentle footsteps being heard as he walked over to you. He placed his warm hands on your shoulders and you leant back into his touch.

"Hey.." he said quietly, looking down at what you were occupied with. "You want to take a break?"

"I'm sorry baby I can't.." You hummed gently rubbing the back of his hand with your thumb. "I have to review these for Strauss.."

Aaron made a soft noise of disapproval, pulling back your office chair and practically pulling himself into your lap. You were both big, barely fitting in the desk chair as he situated himself over your crotch. You sighed, still seeing him in his work suit.

"What do you need Aaron?" You murmured, cupping his cheek and running your thumb over his lower lip.

"You.." He replied concisely, practically demanding.

"Honey I have to work.." You sighed, pulling him down into a soft kiss.

"Please..." He asked, looking down at you with those eyes of liquid chocolate. It made your heart squeeze and your stomach do flips even though you had been together for years. You sighed.

"Fine.. pants off baby. You can keep me company while I work." You unbuckled your own belt as he removed his lower clothing as fast as he could.

He was already half hard as you slid inside him, the remnants of this mornings lube coming in handy. Aaron moaned softly in your ear, snuggling into your neck as he waited patiently for you to finish your task. Your girth made his muscled thighs shake, and every so often he would grind down onto you as he let out soft 'a-ah's of satisfaction.

Eventually you would finish up, man handling him over your desk after you had cleaned up. Aaron often made a mess and a conversation with Strauss about 'suspicious stains on the report' was not one you were willing to have.

You set a deep, hard pace, your thrusts reaching every spot inside him. He was grasping onto your desk, moaning out low, gravelly strings of 'thank you' and 'I love you so much'.

"I love you too, sweet boy.." you grunted, rutting your hips sharply into him. It was true and you wouldn't stop until he was shooting blanks over your desk and limping to work the next morning.

[thejudeduarte]

Me: *sobbing, crying, ripping my hair out and screaming while having a mental breakdown on the floor*

Them: ...are you...are you okay??

Me: they were *sobs* his BIRTHDAY PRESENTS!!

[exy-conspiracies]

The Minyard's are actually triplets, and the third one does all their class work.

.

[palmettoshitposts]

Neil’s done a lot of unhinged shit in his life, but the first time he gets absolutely shitfaced at Eden’s, he obtains a pigeon.

On the drive home, Andrew allows himself to think “Okay, no big events tonight. All around a successful evening. No one started any fights, nobody died,” but SOMEHOW between Eden’s and the car which is parked right outside, Neil obtains a pigeon.

It turns out Nicky has a deep-seated fear of pigeons. Andrew has to pull over in a random suburban street, mostly because Nicky's already opened the door and is trying to throw himself out of the car. So, they all scramble out onto the sidewalk. Nicky then turns and in a fit of phobia-induced hysteria, tries to fucking drop kick the pigeon. He misses. The pigeon is unperturbed, hopping around them curiously.

Meanwhile, Aaron is waffling about how the pigeon is a government spy and they're being surveyed for mafia-related crimes. This just freaks Nicky out even more.

Neil begins muttering about child abuse and being arrested for kidnap and assault of a minor. He convinces Aaron they're going to jail.

Andrew, watching silently the entire time, is smoking out the driver-side door, and filming on his phone. He may or may not send it to Allison immediately after, accompanied by the words "You owe me."

Meanwhile, Kevin is laying starfished on the tarmac. He tells them he simply does not believe in pigeons and says no more the entire interaction.

[greg-montgomery]

Y/N just gushing about the gifts Hotch got her for Valentine’s Day in the gc 🤭🤭 the team could know they’re together and tease him for being whipped OR they’re just like “??when did you get a bf hello??” bc they don’t know they’re from Aar LMAO

Hope you know you’re very loved by us on this valentine’s day, fay 🤍🤍

the last sentence of your ask has me melting pls i love you so so bad 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

[sinnohelitefourlore]

Sinnoh League Group Chat Shenanigans, Pt 1

[jaspxr]

Hotch yawning in the background 💀

[mischievousmoony]

happy to have found the corner of tumblr where everyone’s just as on their knees for aaron taylor johnson as i am keep up the great work guys

[wickedwitchofthewesninski]

Wymack: *posts super low-quality image to the group chat*

Dan: if I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I would have 15 cents

Wymack: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy myself a new team who wouldn't do this to me

Neil: Actually, I did the math, Dan would have 225 dollars, not 15 cents

Dan: Dude I'm right here...

Neil: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

Nicky: While you're there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Neil: Sorry I only have a dollar

Nicky: :(

Kevin: Hey I just realized Neil was wrong, Dan would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent

Neil: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

Aaron: You can buy anything you want with $22,500

Dan: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice

Aaron: Apply juice to what

Neil: Directly to the forehead

Wymack: Great chat everyone

[adnrewminyard]

i want an fic where neil develops a close relationship with an a_minyard on instagram but he meets aaron first and thinks it's him - meanwhile aaron has NO idea who this guy is and why he's acting so strange - and neil just assumes he's too ashamed to interact with him in public