#(changing topic) i just wanted to go and say hi

[jinwoosbabyboo]

It's Your Name

How I imagine the lads men react to finding out you use their name in your password A/N: Don’t ask me what ‘Code Cinnamon’ is bro I don’t know I made it up. If you want to use it for something go ahead. [Requested by: Anon]

Zayne

Zayne: I need to send a few emails is it alright if I use your laptop?

MC: Yea go ahead

Zayne: What’s your password?

MC: ….

Zayne: Did you forget?

MC: No it’s uhm….

Zayne stares at you in confusion

MC, mumbling: Zaynesfavorite18….

Zayne: My name is your password?

MC: Wipe that smile off your face

Zayne: I’m flattered my love

MC: Im so embarrassed right now

Zayne: Is there anything else you use my name for?

MC: See now you’re in my business

Rafayel

Rafayel: Can I use your laptop real quick?

MC: Of course

Rafayel: What’s the password?

You’re about to say it when you remember who you’re dating

MC: I’ll type it

Rafayel: No just tell me

You sighed loudly…..

MC: Rafayelsmuse_

Rafayel: You made my name your password cutie?

MC: Don’t start acting up

Rafayel: I’m already acting up

MC: Stop before I change it

Rafayel: You’re so in love with meeeee

MC: Shut up

Rafayel: Should I crown myself as boyfriend of the year?

MC: Im changing my password

Rafayel: Baby no please I'm done

MC: No you're not

Rafayel: ……….Im done for the next hour

Xavier

Your phone dings with a message

MC: Xavier can you check that

Xavier: Of course … what's your passcode?

MC: 9 2 8 4 3 7

Xavier: What's that combination?

MC: What do you mean?

Xavier: That’s not your birthday or mine …. it's not our anniversary

MC: It’s your name in numbers Xav

Xavier locks your phone just to type it in again

Xavier: Oh

Continues to lock and unlock your phone with a smile on his face

MC: Xavier

Xavier: yea?

MC: The message

Xavier: Oh right Lisa said Code Cinnamon and Tara and Simone responded with running emojis

MC: FUCK!

Xavier: What does that mean?

MC: You don’t wanna know

You rush out of the house forgetting your phone leaving Xavier to continue locking and unlocking your phone. You run back in and pluck it from his fingers.

MC: You can play later

Sylus

You pull your laptop out and take a seat at the kitchen island while Sylus comes up behind you and kisses your cheek.

Sylus: Your password is thats_sosylus? All lowercase?

MC: *looking over your shoulder* how in the blue fuck did you figure that out?

Sylus: I can see which keys you’re hitting

MC: I type 90 words per minute how can you track that so easily?

Sylus: I have good eyes but you’re getting off topic sweetie

MC: I plead the fifth

Sylus reaches over you locking your computer and proceeds to unlock it with the same password

Sylus: I must be quite special to you

MC: Don’t get a big head

Sylus: What else do you use my name for? Should I start charging a fee?

MC: You’d make me pay to use your name?!

You turn your head to glare at him and he crashes his lips onto yours making you melt into him. He swipes his tongue across your bottom lip and you allow him in. He seals the kiss off with a bite to your bottom lip and pulls away.

Sylus: Thank you for your payment

MC: You smooth talking bastard

[marvelfanfics1]

Ooo, Rafe calling little!reader who is back at the condo, and asking her to find the pen (feel like adding Sofia in this sinerio would get messy given what happened). She wears his shirts and sleeps on his side of the bed since she’s already clingy in little space, so him being away is really hard

Rafe weaves through the busy streets, scanning the stands for any kind of phone so he could contact you, luckily finding one in a secluded alley.

He quickly types in your number, raising the phone to his ear and continues walking, his eyes darting everywhere as he waits for you to pick up. "C'mon...pick up."

You're at Rafe's house, all comfortable on his side of the bed with various sweets around you while Bluey is playing on the tv when suddenly your phone rings.

You pick it up and answer it without looking who it is, just wanting to get this call over so you can enjoy being little. "Hello?"

"Hey, baby. I-" Rafe starts, smirking when you squeal excitedly at hearing his voice, sitting up on the bed.

"Daddy! You comin' home now?" You quickly ask, already missing him so bad that you wear his shirts every day since he went to Morocco.

"Not yet, I still got business to do here." He answers and you frown at that. "You gotta do me a favor, yeah? So I can wrap this up faster."

You perk up at that, you would do anything so he comes back home faster. "Wha' is it?"

"I just need you to find a pen that Groff gave me. Uh, it should be in the kitchen maybe." He instructs.

You get up from the bed, the crinkling of the candy packages being heard clearly through the phone and Rafe raises a brow.

"You're not eating the whole candy shelf empty, are you?" He asks, stopping to walk for a moment to place his hand on his hip. "Because I remember that I specifically told you not to go near it while I'm gone."

"Uh...nooo, course not daddy..." You murmur while making your way to the kitchen."

Rafe sees right through your lie like he always does. "We'll talk about this when I'm back."

"M'in the kitchen now." You change the topic, looking over the counter surfaces. "You mean like my cwayons?"

He chuckles. "No, no, um, like the ones I use for work, y'know? Look through the drawers, it should be in there." He says and you do, finding a black pen with golden engraving.

"Found it daddy!" You giggle in triumph.

"Good girl." He praises you, making you smile brightly. "Can you try and tell me what's written on it?"

"Oh, um, s'hard but...Riyadh, Mimouna, Essaouria, Maroc. That right?" You mumble, embarrassed if he couldn't understand.

"Okay, yeah, I saw a sign of that. Thank you, baby. You did a good job, proud of ya." He says, making his way to where he saw that sign of the hotel.

"Daddy...I miss you." You admit quietly, fiddling with the hem of his shirt that you're wearing, wishing he was here and cuddling you.

You are a clingy person in the first place and that only increases when you're little, the fact that he's already gone for a while and most likely will be for a bit longer has you feeling lonely and sad.

"I miss you too kid...I promise I'll be back soon, yeah?" He assures you. "I love you."

"Lub you too, daddy. Pwease be careful and don' talk to strangers!" You say, recounting what he often tells you.

Rafe laughs softly at that. "I will. Be good until I'm back."

Then the line goes dead and you sigh, going back to the bedroom to continue your Bluey marathon, snuggling back into Rafe's pillow that still smells like him.

Taglist

For everything:

@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse

@mythixmagic @iris-xoxo-juhu

For Rafe:

@chiaraanatra @chimindity @erikasurfer

[beefcakekinard]

[<-<- part one] [<- part two] ~ ~ ~ [part four ->]

Buck makes it maybe five minutes before he gets the urge to look something up.

"Absolutely not," Tommy says, snatching Buck's phone out of his hands. Buck makes to grab it back, but Tommy pins him with one arm around his waist and holds it out of reach with the other. "You picked the movie, Evan, Google can wait."

"I was going to go on Wikipedia," Buck scoffs, because there's a difference. "Google-"

"Google is useless these days, I know." Tommy slips Buck's phone into the back pocket of his own sweats and rearranges them, spreading out more along the couch and pulling Buck on top of himself. "Enjoy the movie, Evan."

Buck sighs, loudly, pretending to be put-upon, but he really can't complain. It's still a little novel, being able to just spread himself out on top of Tommy like this. He settles more as Tommy starts dragging his fingertips up and down his spine, just like he had been when Buck woke up. It's so comfortable, so familiar, so Tommy. The movie continues on - background noise, almost, with the way Tommy always pulls his focus without even trying.

With a jolt, Buck pulls himself from the edge of consciousness. Tommy squeezes his shoulder and Buck just wishes he'd run his fingers along his back again. Buck opens his mouth to complain, but he stops short with a choked laugh when he notices what's happening on screen.

"Christ," he coughs out. "I wasn't expecting to see my parents in this movie."

Tommy laughs above him. "That WASP-y silence hits too close to home, huh?"

"Hey, you said it, not me." Buck says. He nuzzles at Tommy's belly and watches as the scene changes again. Tommy shifts under him, which for Tommy standards counts as restless. Buck doesn't want to commit the cardinal sin of asking him about it while the movie's still playing, but it turns out he doesn't have to wait.

"I always-" Tommy starts, a few minutes later. He clears his throat. A few too many awkward seconds pass.

"What's that?" Buck asks.

"I always..." Tommy sighs. "I wanted a family like this. They're loud and crazy, but they love each other. They have - in jokes, and they support each other, where it matters." Tommy's hand squeezes Buck's shoulder. "I really... I just always wondered what that was like."

Buck curls his hand around the dip in Tommy's waist, right above his hip. "Me too," he admits. "It - I know the way we grew up is, was different, but uh. Me too."

"Wonder what that says about us," Tommy says, and his tone is too bitter, too unkind, for Buck's liking, so he pulls himself up to sit and grabs one of Tommy's hands in both of his own.

"What that says to me," Buck starts, looking Tommy square in the eye, "is that two lonely kids survived a couple of fucked-up childhoods. And that they found each other, and- and things aren't so lonely, anymore."

Tommy's expression does something complicated, some dance Buck isn't yet privy to, but he knows what it lands on. It lands on that look he gets when he says things like how are you real and what am I gonna do with you. It's an expression that Buck kind of loves, but it also kind of breaks his heart all the same.

[<-<- part one] [<- part two] ~ ~ ~ [part four ->]

[oldsoul007]

taste

nicholas chavez x ex!reader

a/n: no disrespect to either of them or relationship all of this is just fiction!

Nicholas and y/n had a special connection when they dated. Their time together was filled with laughter, shared secrets, and memorable moments. However, as life moved on, they drifted apart, and Nicholas eventually found himself in a new relationship with a girl named Victoria.

Victoria is wonderful—kind, smart, and everything Nicholas could ask for in a girlfriend. Yet, despite his happiness with her, y/n is always in the back of his mind. He often finds himself reminiscing about the times he spent with y/n, the unique bond they shared, and the way she understood him like no one else.

Even though Nicholas tries to focus on his present with Victoria, there are moments when a song, a place, or a random memory brings y/n back to the forefront of his thoughts. He wonders how she's doing, if she thinks about him too, and whether their paths will cross again. This lingering presence of y/n in his mind makes him question if he ever truly moved on, or if a part of him will always belong to her.

Nicholas and Victoria were out for a casual stroll one Saturday afternoon when they unexpectedly ran into y/n. The encounter took Nicholas by surprise, and he felt his heart skip a beat. Y/n looked as beautiful and confident as ever, and seeing her brought a rush of memories flooding back.

"Hey, y/n. It's been a while. How have you been?" Nicholas asked, trying to keep his composure.

"I've been good. Just busy with work and everything. How about you?" Y/n replied with a warm smile.

"I've been alright. This is Victoria, by the way. Victoria, this is y/n," Nicholas introduced them, his voice slightly shaky.

"Nice to meet you, y/n!" Victoria said cheerfully.

"Nice to meet you too, Victoria. So, what have you been up to, Nicholas?" Y/n asked, her eyes lingering on him.

"Oh, you know, just the usual. Work's been keeping me busy. It's really good to see you, though," Nicholas responded, feeling a mix of emotions.

"Yeah, it's good to see you too. You look well," y/n said, her smile softening.

"Thanks. You too," Nicholas managed to say, his mind racing.

Victoria, sensing the tension, chimed in, "We should catch up sometime, all of us. It would be fun."

"Sure, that sounds nice," y/n agreed. "Well, I should get going. It was great running into you both."

"Yeah, take care, y/n," Nicholas said, watching her walk away.

As y/n disappeared into the crowd, Nicholas couldn't help but feel a pang of longing. He realized that his feelings for her were still very much alive, leaving him deep in thought about what to do next.

Victoria and Nicholas had been having a wonderful evening at home when the topic of y/n came up. It started innocently enough, with Nicholas mentioning their recent encounter.

"You know, it was really nice seeing y/n the other day," Nicholas said, trying to keep his tone casual.

Victoria's expression changed slightly. "Yeah, it was. But, Nicholas, I've noticed you talk about her a lot lately."

Nicholas looked puzzled. "What do you mean? She's just an old friend."

"Is she really just an old friend?" Victoria asked, her voice growing more tense. "Because it feels like there's more to it."

Nicholas sighed. "Victoria, you're overthinking this. Y/n and I have history, but that's all in the past. You're the one I'm with now."

Victoria shook her head. "I don't know, Nicholas. It just feels like there's something unresolved between you two. And it bothers me."

Nicholas's frustration began to show. "What do you want me to do, Victoria? I can't erase my past. Y/n is a part of it, but she doesn't have to be a threat to us."

"I just need to know that you're fully committed to us," Victoria said, her eyes pleading.

"I am committed to us," Nicholas said firmly. "But I can't change the fact that y/n was a big part of my life. You have to trust me."

Victoria looked away, tears welling up in her eyes. "It's hard to trust when I see how you look at her."

Nicholas softened, stepping closer to her. "Victoria, I love you. I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel secure. But you have to believe me when I say that Lauren is just a friend now."

Victoria nodded slowly, wiping her tears. "Okay, Nicholas. I believe you. But let's not talk about y/n anymore. Let's focus on us."

"Agreed," Nicholas said, pulling her into a hug. "Let's focus on us."

As they held each other, Nicholas hoped that this would be the end of the tension between them. He knew he had to prove his commitment to Victoria and make sure she felt secure in their relationship.

Nicholas and Victoria were at the local bar when they unexpectedly bumped into y/n again. It was a moment of surprise for all three, but Victoria's reaction was different. As she watched Nicholas and y/n exchange warm smiles and familiar glances, something clicked in her mind. She realized that the connection between Nicholas and y/n was deeper than she had ever imagined. It was in that instant that Victoria understood the true nature of their bond, and a mix of emotions washed over her, leaving her both intrigued and contemplative about what this meant for their future.

Nicholas and Victoria were sitting in their living room when the tension that had been building up finally reached a boiling point. The topic of y/n had come up once again, and it was clear that Victoria was not happy about it.

"Nicholas, I can't believe you're still hung up on her," Victoria said, frustration evident in her voice. "Every time we run into y/n, you act like she's the only person in the room."

Nicholas sighed, rubbing his temples. "Victoria, it's not like that. Y/n and I have a history, yes, but it doesn't mean I'm still in love with her. We're just friends now."

"Friends? Really?" Victoria shot back. "Because it sure doesn't seem that way. You get this look in your eyes whenever she's around, like you're remembering something more than just a friendship."

"That's not fair," Nicholas replied, his voice rising. "I can't control how I feel. But I'm with you now, and that's what matters."

"But is it really?" Victoria asked, her eyes filling with tears. "Because it feels like I'm always competing with her ghost. I need to know that you're fully here with me, not just physically but emotionally too."

Nicholas took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "Victoria, I care about you a lot. I don't want you to feel like you're second to anyone. I'm sorry if I've made you feel that way."

Victoria looked at him, her expression softening slightly. "I just need to know that I can trust you, Nicholas. That you're not going to run back to her the moment things get tough between us."

"I promise you, Victoria," Nicholas said, taking her hand. "I'm committed to us. I'll do whatever it takes to prove that to you."

As they sat there, holding each other's hands, they both realized that this was a turning point in their relationship. They had to work through these issues if they wanted to move forward together.

Nicholas had been feeling increasingly guilty about his relationship with Victoria. He knew deep down that he couldn't continue pretending everything was fine. One evening, he finally mustered the courage to talk to her.

"Victoria, we need to talk," Nicholas began, his voice heavy with emotion. "I can't keep doing this. It's not fair to you or to me. I still have feelings for y/n, and it's not right to lead you on."

Victoria looked at him, her eyes filled with a mix of hurt and understanding. "I knew this was coming, Nicholas. I just hoped things would change."

"I'm so sorry," Nicholas said, his heart breaking at the sight of her tears. "You deserve someone who can give you their whole heart, and I can't do that right now."

After the difficult conversation, Nicholas felt a weight lift off his shoulders, but he was also filled with a sense of loss. He decided to reach out to y/n, needing someone to talk to.

"Y/n, I ended things with Victoria," he confessed over the phone. "I couldn't keep pretending. But now, I feel so lost."

Y/n’s voice was gentle but firm. "Nicholas, I still love you, but we can't be together. Not right now. You need to figure things out for yourself first."

Nicholas sighed, feeling the sting of her words. "I understand, y/n. I just needed to hear your voice."

They both knew that this was a time for healing and self-discovery. Even though they couldn't be together, their connection remained a source of comfort and strength for Nicholas.

[overnightheartbeats]

Perhaps, Laurel spent a little too long watching his lips, caught up in the way he licked them. Oh, she was a goner. “Woah, you are really smart with your class schedule. How do you pick the stories you read?" His words saddened her, thinking of the prospect of someone being used to not having a home. But, the brief optimism was a good note. Surely, he'd find a home eventually, and while they were in school, she'd try to help find that space. "For my sake, I hope you're right about the lack of embarrassing." Her mind was already turning with ideas for Juju and Aaron's upcoming visit. "Hm, I'll need to bribe them too, to behave."

Despite the variety of topics they had covered already, this was what made her cheeks warm up with a pink flush. How he had only known her for this short amount of time, and yet he saw her. The way he spoke, he saw something in her that she hadn't really bothered seeing in herself lately. "That's very kind of you, I really appreciate it. I'll keep my glow on, just for you." The idea of cooking had never really enticed her too much, but now the prospect of jumping into this new adventure with him excited her. "Kitchen heaven, oh that sounds like our place. I'll plan that one, and I'll send you the details when we can take over the kitchen. Maybe, we each bring a recipe we want to try."

"As long as you don't want to be far from me, then I'll be buying all the portable fans. Well, hey I'm not complaining on the idea because it brought you here." The idea didn't seem too logical to her, but how could she judge it when it meant he arrived here with her? That had to be some version of destiny, if she even believed in all that. Laurel was hanging on to each word, a string pulling him toward her. Was he always so charming and romantic? "I..." her words trailed off, completely in a daze. "I'm inclined to believe that, I'm glad the string brought us here. Having us meet halfway, hm guess I'd just be curious why Texas, of all places." The thought of a string pulling him to a place that he didn't like was so interesting, completely grateful that he did listen to that string tugging him here. "The more, the merrier and I'd love to meet them. Maybe, get some of those stories about you." Laurel's smile remained, her curiosity on Colorado growing. He had the ability to make anything sound interesting, even a state she had never given second thought to. "There's more to Brazil than Carnival though, promise I'm not a party animal. I'm intrigued by Colorado now, and Panama, really? That sounds like a fun spot too, probably some really good beaches." Oh, she was completely pleased with herself when he agreed and gave her a look. Lucky for her, they both were not the sharing type. "Good to know, because I really have no intention of sharing you with anyone here. Just a heads up."

She was shaking her head, silently telling him it was not necessary at all. Laurel understood house rules, and really didn't mind just hanging out here, even on the floor. It beat being in her dorm listening to Jenny complain about being ditched earlier. But, Laurel looked at him and knew that there was no chance of saying no. "Okay, but only because you insist." She took the items Eli handed her, and nodded reluctantly. "I believe you," she said with soft laugh. "This is more than enough, don't worry. I'll be right back." With that, she stepped away to change. Changing into the bottoms was quick and easy, the hoodie - well, that had more thought going into it. He did say no outside clothes, her blouse definitely counted under that umbrella, but was it too bold to wear his hoodie with no shirt underneath? Maybe so, but she would follow instructions, so she pulled her blouse and quickly changed into the soft hoodie. Once her outside clothes were folded, she stepped back out and grinned widely. "Ta-da, fits pretty well! Confirming I'm free of outside clothes," she teased as she stuffed her clothes in her backpack for now.

"A lot of mishaps," he laughed, licking his lips after that small make out. The green apple aftertaste leaving traces on his lips. He would have thought she'd be a cherry type of girl but no even with chapstick she managed to surprise him. "M&M I call her that, she loves to be read stories. That's what we do every Friday night. It's why I only have that one class on Friday to make sure I've done my homework when I call her." He shrugged thinking by now he should be used to not having a home. He never had one before the Phillips scooped him up. "It's okay. I'm used to it. Maybe one day I'll find home." Eli's smile widened at the thought of getting stories of her. "I'll take it. Embarrassing? I highly doubt that. Any and all stories about you I'll be glad to hear."

"You're more than dust. You have a glow just some people can't see it. It's on them not on you." He gently squeezed her hand and smiled. "And that's enough. Always will be." Just because her mom didn't see her like that didn't mean she wasn't special. "Good. After all you can't dim your light for others. Not fair to you." Cooking and having a knack to learn seemed like a good combo. "Sounds like we're a match in kitchen heaven."

He couldn't help but smiled amused. "Carry a portable fan with you at all times. That way I don't have to be too far away from you. I know. It wasn't the brightest idea to move here but I also think it lead me to you. I am not sure if I believe in that but also not really a coincidence we met before we actually met. It was like," he thought about it. "A string pulling me toward you. Have you ever felt that?" Nodding his head he didn't think she'd take him up on it so quick but was glad she had. "Winter break coming up. Let's do it. I'm sure my sisters will love to join if you're okay with that. I need to see if they can come or one will be missing. Not sure Isa and hia schedule." He had to think hard on if he did go anywhere he had wanted to. "No. We stayed local or if we felt really adventurous we went to Colorado. But bucket list items for sure. Brazil? That is cool. That reminds me of one I forgot. Panama." He bumped into her and gave her a look. "Neither am I very good at sharing."

Eli turned around and sighed trying to find his sweater he hadn't worn in the week. Once he did he took it out and found bottoms that would fit her. Last time Inez bought him pants they were a little too tight so now they seemed like they'd fit Laurel. "Here, get comfortable. You can't stand or sit on the floor. You're my guest. I insist." His black striped hoodie was the one he gave her and handed her the bottoms. "These should fit you. I have an extra toothbrush in the drawer in the bathroom so feel free to use that. I promise it's brand new." Now he was thankful the Phillips siblings gave him so much in their care package. "If you need anything else let me know."

[kazumist]

EPISODE 28 ✦ PLEASE LOVE ME AT MY WORST

LOVE, MAYBE — A CHILDE SMAU

masterlist / prev ep / next ep / wc: 1265.

fifteen minutes is almost up; am i about to die?

ajax thoughts wander to all sorts of places as he nervously checks and watches the time move on his wristwatch. as to why he agrees so easily to your request to talk to him—he doesn’t know either. it just felt… right to agree. 

he knows it would pain him to say no to you anyway.

perhaps it was just the small part of him that still hopes. that one little speck in him that hopes this “talk” would mend the rift that had formed between the two of you. it was probably stupid to have such expectations when he was pretty sure you were dead set on your answer to him before.

so it confuses him. why did you want to talk? did you want to just slap it in his face once again? no, you weren’t like that. you would never do something that mean. but that just leads him back to square one: why?

the sound of soft footsteps growing louder alerts ajax, and he takes a deep breath because he knows it’s you. yet he takes a glance to check anyway. there you were, standing before him as he gets the familiar feeling of being starstruck surging through him. keep it together, ajax. he warns himself. 

“hi…” you softly said. 

“hey.”

hey? who the hell says hey nowadays, ajax? get a grip! he mentally scolds himself, forcing him to pull out a tight smile to you instead to save him from his embarrassment. meanwhile, you thought otherwise of his reaction. oh god, he probably hates me. he never gives me that smile. it looks so forced. he probably just felt bad and forced himself to meet me out at this hour. your thoughts ran fast inside your mind as you fiddled with your fingers.

“uhm.. i wanted to talk—”

“so why did you want to meet—”

you both paused when you realized you both spoke at the same time. “you go first,” he insisted. but you gestured otherwise and told him, “oh, it’s fine. you can go.”

“i insist. ladies first?”

seeing as this would go nowhere if you just went back and forth like that, you took a deep breath. 

“i love you.”

for the whole day (and the additional fifteen minutes ajax gave you), you thought of many ways on how to approach childe with the topic of what happened before. yet none of those really started with “i love you." the best option you got after thinking so hard actually started with “i’m sorry.” the “i love you” part was supposed to be near the end of the whole monologue you had prepared inside your head.

ajax only stared at you, dumfounded at your words. “shit, sorry, i—that wasn’t how i wanted to start, uhm—” you let out a sigh, a slightly shaky one at that because of your mistake. don’t fuck up this one up and run away again, (name). you mentally took note. but then again, fuck that monologue you prepared beforehand. if you want to do this properly, then it’s better to do this as bare as your emotions could get, right?

taking another deep breath, you decided to speak up again before ajax could. “i’m going to be honest. i actually prepared some long speech that is supposedly transcribed inside my brain right now. but i definitely think i just forgot a good chunk of that speech now that i’m actually with you.” 

“i’m sorry, ajax. i let my fear get the best of me that day. i never wanted to tell you to go away; in fact, i know that i wanted nothing more than for you to hold me at that moment.” you let out a bitter chuckle at that. ajax watches you, listening to every word carefully. he takes in your appearance as well, and the slightly swollen and redness of your eyes were obvious enough for him to know your state as of late.

“i never wanted to push you away. and god, i feel so stupid and guilty for everything that i said that day. because i know none of those were true. well, i guess minus the part where i listed my flaws... because i know those were true in some sense—but i want to—no, nevermind that. i’m trying to change my ways.” you corrected yourself.

“i asked dehya and the others for some advice. and they were right when they said that you had a positive impact on my life and that i’ve never been this happy with someone else other than them. because i swear, you’re just a different case for me, ajax. you make me happy in ways i never thought anyone could bring me joy. when i thought i didn’t have anyone by my side, you were there for me.”

“and i feel so, so, so fucking stupid for shutting you away that day. because deep inside, i knew my heart wanted otherwise. my brain wanted you to leave me alone, but i knew my heart wanted for you to stay. for you to tell me that everything is alright.”

“i guess the main gist of everything that i’m saying is that i love you; i’m sorry. i love you, ajax. and i know i’m probably late, and that you probably hate me right now, and also how you probably just forced yourself outside just so you could meet up with me, but i love you. this whole thing is honestly still scary to me, considering this is the first time i have experienced this in my whole lifespan of eighteen years right now.”

“yet i still love you despite that. i’m sorry that it took me a while. and again, you don’t have to reciprocate it—i just wanted to let this all out. and like i said, you probably hate me—”

“am i allowed to speak now?” ajax.

“i—yeah, go ahead.”

“have i told you that i’m so proud of you?” he asks. you don’t know where he’s going with this. “you might’ve mentioned it once or twice in the past, yeah.” he chuckles at your reply. it feels like your walking on thin ice because you really have no idea if he’s about to drop a bomb right now about him rejecting you.

you don’t think you could handle that anyway.

“thank you, (name). i personally didn’t know what to expect with what you were going to say. but i  don’t hate you. i could never hate you. not now, not ever. hell, i knew that if i said no to your request of having a talk i would definitely regret it. and i’m proud of you that you managed to say all of that. learning how to communicate is a big step already, you know?”

ajax takes a step closer and you didn’t take a step back this time. you let him get close to you this time, fixing the distance that grew after you pushed him away. “and for the record, i love you too” he says, a bit more quietly, as if he really wants only you to hear those words coming from him. “that fact isn’t going to change anytime soon, silly.” 

“i’m sorry again. but i’m ready now. i’m prepared to take a risk in this whole thing they call love. so please love me at my worst, ajax.”

the night ends with ajax walking you home once again—but this time there wasn’t a single residue of the bitterness from before.

this time, it was filled with relief.

extra notes.

yayyyy!!! communication!!!!

i didn't expect for this episode to be so long. i was 700+ words in when i realized that it was going to be a bit lengthy.

taglist (open): @xianyoon @mitsvriii @kizakiss @kissingkzuha @aethion @phtogravi @ell1e2010 @esthelily @b4tm4nn @hcmay @ivvieene @morganadorodo @kaitfae @kentply @scaranthropy @kyon-cherri @kookiibun @kochothehoe @mekiiiii @ibyobi @iuspired @tetsuskei @kunikuzushis-darling @morgyyyyyyy @chluuvr @scaradooche @kissmiere @a1-ic3 @bubblegum-angelquartz @tiredjxnna @levlucs-kiru @angeilix @cerisescherries @saeskiss @a-talkative-corn @briluvspnk @kamisatoyato @bbysatoruuu @viviixoxosblog @bambisz @chemiru @eternal-dokja @bflyprincess @jamieexistss @monocerosei @enjisthings @jangyung @hahalame @cupid-spams @snzhrchy @ukinya @luciledreamz @bisatanica @bananasquash @almond-t0fu @thegalaxyisunfolding @jaguarthecat [1/2]

[morallygreychaoticneutral]

That's what he said!

I was thinking about what my Tav would have said to Astarion after the Halsin proposition. I was sad to know we didn't have the option to tell Astarion we told him no. I feel like that would have been a great trust bonding moment for them. So i wrote it. Or, I attempted..im not an expert writer.

“You wouldn’t believe the conversation I just had with Halsin.” She says to him in a gossiping tone.  

Astarion laughs loud and openly.

“I was wondering when you were going to ask me about this.”

“Did he talk to you about it?” she asks, slightly confused by his reaction.

“I guessed. The man can’t stay quiet about “enjoying the freedom of natures gifts”. Ha ha, I bet he outlaw clothing if he could.”

His pantomime of Halsin calms her nerves.

“Funny you would say that. He did mention something along those lines.”  

An awkward pause hangs in the air.

“Well? Don’t keep me in suspense darling. What was said exactly?”

“Well, He uh,  said that I stirred his heart and he wants more than to just sit by the fire with me.”

The heat was creeping up in her face. It was one thing to have heard it from Halsin, but to repeat it to Astarion had her embarrassed.

He smiles at her.

 “I can’t say I blame him. You are quite unique and alluring, darling. And he’s been eyeing you since the grove if you haven’t noticed.”

She had not. She was so wrapped up in helping everyone with their own plights she didn’t even consider it.   

“So? What was the outcome of this conversation?” He asks, quickly looking at his nails to distract from the anxiety that flashed across his eyes.

She sees it. Her heart hurts with the idea he thinks she might have agreed. He knows me better than that, doesn’t he?

Desperate to erase that look she reaches for her default disarming tool. Humor.

“I told him to stuff it.” she says, crossing her arms and throwing her nose in the air in a haughty manner.

Astarion’s eyes shift to her as he lifts a brow at her sudden change of attitude.

 She smiles wide, nudging him with her elbow. “Get it?! Stuff It. You know, because he’s a bear.”

Astarion rolls his eyes dramatically but smiles despite his attempt to seem annoyed.

“But then...” she says, bringing her index finger to her lips as if deep in thought. “Maybe he thought I wanted him to stuff me…oh no.”

Astarion huffs before leaning in and issuing a warning.

“Best to stay clear of the woods for a bit then.”

Aloria laughs. Pleased to see the anxiety leave his gaze.

“You know I would never do that to you, right?” she asks quietly, throwing every ounce of care into her eyes for him to see.

His face softens at her words for a moment, before darting his eyes past her to check to see if anybody is watching.  

“I know. I was being foolish. But thank you for saying it.”

These types of moments are difficult for him. He loves the adoration she lavishes on him but does not like to share it beyond their own private world. She notices his discomfort and redirects the conversation back to playful banter.  

“I mean, not after all the hard work you put into scent marking me.” she says, closing the distance between them, walking her fingers up his chest and gently tapping the end of his nose.  

His nose scrunches in response.

“What?”

“Halsin said your scent lingers on my skin. He says I smell like you.” She rests her chin on his chest. Her eyes hold his lovingly. 

“I….well..you do tend to steal my shirt to sleep in. It’s hardly my fault.”

Aloria runs the backs of her hands lightly over the fabric of his vest. “Do you know what you smell like?”  

He stares down at her, confused about the odd choice of topic.  “Of course I am aware of what I smell like. I make it myself.”

“No, not your perfume, just you.”  

Astarion’s face scrunches again. “Undead, obviously. What are you getting at?”

Aloria grabs him by the lapels. Quickly lifting on her toes and pulling him forward to bury her nose in his neck and takes an obnoxiously loud snuff of his skin.

Astarion barks out a clipped giggle before clearing his throat and feigning annoyance.

“What are you doing?”

She hums against his throat. “Mmmmm danger, and sweetness and ..wait ..is that a hint of arrogance? Or is that sarcasm?”.

She makes a show of snuffing him again. “Ooo, I think that is definitely sarcasm. Spicy!”

Astarion begins to playfully push her away, but not before she quickly presses her lips close to his ear. Whispering this time so no one nearby can catch what she says.

“You smell like the air after it rains on parched ground. Like the deep earth of a root cellar. Like ancient undiscovered places. Quiet and metallic.  I like it. I like it very much.” Driving the message home by gently running the end of her nose along the edge of his ear.

Astarion’s shoulders drop as he turns his head to catch her eyes as she pulls away. The seriousness of her confession understood under the guise of playfulness. These moments were theirs and theirs alone.

She smiles wide, then smashes her lips against his cheek, kissing him with an audible smack.

He tuts, resuming to push her away and wave her off with a flourish of his hands.

She begins to walk away, but turns, jutting her hip out and running her hand dramatically over her ass and biting her lower lip at him.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, darling.” He says salaciously.

She laughs and walks away to check on the other companions for the night.  

“Hey, what’s burning?!” she shouts loudly watching as Gale scrambles to check the pot that is in fact, not burning.

[taegularities]

some men are textbook villains fr

[centrally-unplanned]

This seems like a made-up critique of Yglesias? The Dem candidates who ran "ahead of Harris", particularly in relevant swing states, were typically running more conservative campaigns! The Dem ballot initiatives that passed weren't on the topics under discussion, how is that relevant?

You can't take the guy saying this:

This was the original point about popularism. There really are popular progressive ideas. If you center those ideas *and do not push other unpopular ideas that crowd them out* you’ll do great and make meaningful progressive change.

And be like "his idea is lurch right on every issue", it is pretty much the opposite; stay left on all the popular ones and give up losing issues.

Additionally, why would moderation lose queer voters? This is turnout trap logic - what, are they gonna vote Republican? Will Republicans try to outflank them by becoming more pro-queer then Dems are? That is technically possible but come on, they won't do that. So in 2028 the community will face the obvious tradeoffs of one party being way better than the other one, even if that party is only 90% as aligned as it used to be. That 10% isn't gonna shift vote share - every time someone proposes this "lose the base" idea it is just always wrong! Swing voters decide elections. The math is merciless on that.

(I also think equating queer people in general with trans-specific issues is a big trap, but w/e)

I have no real stance on the object level issue here - I don't know what the polling says. I see data like this and I go, okay, seems in the middle here. And see polling where shit like inflation is the bigger decider, so right now I think that is the big stuff to focus on. But we are really young on data from the actual election right now, it is all preliminary. And I know what case the "popularist" faction is making is:

Is this true? Maybe, just a few early polls. But if it is true than Dems almost certainly should moderate their rhetoric on these topics. Since not doing that is actively making things worse for trans people. Because it makes Dems lose elections to a party that wants to ban all trans care for youths regardless of patient/parental consent and strip away discrimination protections. You can pick the way-less-impactful topics like athletics and triage in response, like all politics must do. This is not throwing trans people under the bus! If this data is true, you are throwing them under the bus.

Which I don't think you are actually doing ofc, point is just that you really should be overwhelmingly concerned with "what do the American people actually believe" and be trying to win elections with them. The general approach of the "popularist" wing seems very much on the money right now. They are the same guys outlining how sure thermostatic opinion will swing back but also the Senate Map is unfavourable by a ~5 pt margin. You should want to win the senate! That is far, far more important than any specific issue, definitionally so. There just is no actual upside to maximalism here.

Matt Yglesias seems to think the only thing for the Democrats to do is to lurch as far to the right as possible and throw trans people under the bus, but I think this is stupid; MAGA candidates not named Trump ran behind their peers, plenty of Democratic policies passed in the form of ballot initiatives, and many Dem candidates outran Harris by at least a little bit. AFAICT the election was genuinely a backlash against incumbency and not a repudiation of Democratic policy positions generally.

Which sucks! But it also implies you shouldn’t screw over members of your core coalition to try to seize ground already firmly occupied by reactionaries. People with reactionary politics will vote for the brand name version, and you run the risk of alienating people who up til now voted for you. The problems liberals have relate predominantly to messaging in a fragmented media environment and the uniquely troubled circumstances of 2024 than they do to an electorate disgusted by trans women in sports or pandering to people who use the phrase “toxic masculinity.”

[gibbearish]

btw its interesting the way james tries to imply that like. well the videos that have plagiarism are the ones our dumb stupid annoying patrons requested about bad topics that didnt deserve to have the effort put in to covering them well so basically its fine. like obv thats interesting on its own but moreso the fact that he doesnt actually /say/ it, or like. give a list of the videos hes referring to, just says "those videos are very clear on which ones they were" i think as a nod meaning like "yknow the ones everyones talking about". unless what hes meaning is that like they put a note in certain videos saying "this video was requested by a patron, we here at james somertom incorporated do not espouse these views" which seems unlikely to me. idk methinks maybe it's because there is indeed a lot more than people think and with all the buzz he's not sure which ones have been discovered yet or not, so putting down a solid list that missed some would look like he was still hiding things whereas putting down a fully sourced list would be admitting to wayyyy more than anyone's found yet

[iratusmus]

honestly the thing that bugs me the most about the woobification of scourge is like. these people are somehow forgetting like 90% of his entire personality. namely that his greatest ambition is more or less to be the ultimate schoolyard bully who faces 0 repercussions for his actions. like he talks about becoming king of the multiverse or whatever the heck but he never really... theres no actual reason to it. he's got no real longterm goal. he's not interested in remaking the world in his own image, or enacting any sort of real agenda, or even being worshiped like a god. he just wants to be able to kick people while theyre down and face absolutely no consequences for anything he does. scourge is very much the kind of person who would go to a playground to kick children down the slides or push them off the swings or something because he's incredibly petty and immature and frankly a loser

like honestly speaking the "i want to be king of the multiverse!1!!!" crap really just reads like he took his brief knowledge of comic book villains and said "ok . sonic is a good person who wants everybody to be free. and i cant be anything like sonic. so i am going to be a bad person who controls other people" but on the most surface level humanly possible (aka in name only) because the truth is he has absolutely no real interest in becoming a ruler or a conqueror or anything of the sort. he's got nothing he actually wants to do with that outside of other people not being able to tell him he cant do whatever he wants. namely, beating the snot out of people he doesnt like. which is almost everybody to exist. something interesting to be said about him trying so hard to separate himself from being a derivative of prime!sonic that his identity still ends up looping back around to being a derivative of prime!sonic but in a different direction, but thats a discussion for another time. REGARDLESS back to my main point.

like. ok mb25yl!shadow becomes king of mobius to enact his incredibly skewed idea of the peace that maria wanted for earth, eggman wants to conquer mobius to remake it in his own image and also build a themepark, finitevus wants to burn everything to the ground because people were the real virus all along and nature is the only one that has it figured out and everybody on this rock is frankly too stupid to deserve to live, and scourge…. became "king" of moebius (read: beat up a bunch of gang leaders and called himself that) and for… what exactly. absolutely nothing. he has no grand ambitions or goals or anything he just wants to be a schoolyard bully and thats about it. hes just an incredible loser. this is also a key component in why hes so so funny. side note but if your redesign removes the inherent tackiness of his design that is no longer scourge.

tldr every day scourge the hedgehog wakes up and chooses to be an incredibly awful immature little brat/playground bully with an appallingly tacky sense of fashion and this is like 90% of his personality and if you dont like that, might i suggest... making an oc?

[sweetteaandpie]

y'all having friends in your 40s is really fucking hard. either they're busy with their partners and/or kids or they're self-important to the point you can't deal with it or you're tired and dealing with chronic illness or hermiting or you have really specific special interests that they don't share or you outgrow them.

i have chosen to remain single and child-free because i prefer to spend my time and money how i want to spend it. and now my circle of friends has dwindled to a couple of people. and i'm not sad about it. i am a bit worried i'm turning into a cranky bitch, but i'm also not worried because i feel [mostly] content. something wild and wonderful happened when i turned 40. i finally got some fucking boundaries and put myself first after a lifetime of people pleasing (i still do this but i'm deconstructing; making progress, though!).

[allbycharles]

Hello @silmarillisms ! Those are valid points so I will try to respond. Thank you for your response. Let me add more details to explain why I said what I said.

Tolkien did highly probably have ptsd after going through traumatic experiences of the war. We cannot know of course. That it was traumatizing is sure.

What Tolkien and nobody else knew in his times was how to heal PTSD which is what I meant by Tolkien did not know how trauma works.

Having it and getting rid of it is two different things. To get rid of my ptsd i had to use the first available manuals of the usa army that came out ten years ago. Before that there was no solution even though of course the doctors were trying a lot of things.

Your point of elves mental health is of course valid just as me not having any rights to tell how to write. I am not saying people have to write correctly ptsd treatment. Neither that elves work same as people.

Why was it important to state how mental health works and to have elves work same as humans from my perspective which you can happily ignore of course....and why in first place i wrote my first post:

People use art as help and I hear it daily from everyone around that: they think ptsd works like this and that, anxiety works like this and that, depression is cured by this and that.........and all of that circulates through chats, tv, social media and art and all of it is wrong. And gets people hurt very much and deeply. Because they did not get the right info.

And most of population works on examples they see around and big part of it is art.

I had no goal of criticizing anyones writting....I can see I tagged my post wrong so it sounded like "stop this and do what I just said or else I send a balrog" I am really sorry about that, I am going to change it to more informative.

What I meant was if you want to write correctly a person with ptsd then here have a very simplified version of how a ptsd usually works.

And hopefully many people who are victims of abuse or anything else will be on correct path to healing. Does the artist have a job to do this? Not at all. I wrote the post as information for writers not as rules. And I hoped more fanfiction with helpful info might appear.

I dunno who you met and what kind of traumatic experiences they had. And I of course dont talk about everybody. Thats why I tagged it as very simplified version. What I wrote is the usual way it goes for soldiers in dangerous situations which what was the first ops topic.....feeling of safety after years of war.

The manual I used on myself made by the usa army describes ptsd of soldiers going like this and is used on all ptsd soldiers victims which is why I wrote it as highly pissible for Elrond to have it the same.

Lastly mellon....I am really writting all of this to help people and I am sorry it trigered you. I understand when one simplifies things too much they sound like bullshit. Yes each person is different, each trauma is different and I am not a doctor. Thank you for writting your post and pointing out what I fucked up. I am sure I missed like half of it again so please if you feel like it do respond again. I hope sooner or later we all get both therapy and kind words we need to be happy and healthy just like Elrond. Honestly good for him.

I wonder, after the Third Kinslaying, when was the first time Elrond felt truly, actually safe again

I just mean. like. no matter how kindly Maglor treated the twins, ultimately. no matter that there was love, later. from that day on, it's just, Elrond would know, all the way to his core, that he is small and defenseless and people who are bigger and stronger than him can come and tear his life apart and change it at their whim and he can do nothing but go along with it. and then by the time he is old enough to maybe have a shot at fending for himself... by then there's an ongoing war of apocalyptic proportions, that might wipe out even the strongest who still stand if the fortunes change even a bit. and he'd know it. there's nowhere that's really safe and no matter how strong and brave and skilled someone is they can only affect their own happiness and survival a little bit

by the time war of wrath ends it's decades since he last knew true safety, he's known practically all his life that the world is not safe and his life could be shattered to pieces at any moment with very little warning... even when the peace comes you don't just easily shake a lifetime of knowing that all the way to your core

[true-blue-sonic]

What is even the point of Silver living in the future? It’s not his future anymore and he has no friends or family there. There’s nothing for him there. Now that he has precognition he should just live in Sonic’s time and get visions of disasters. 

Seriously there’s no point in his future or time travel. We’ll never see it, Silver only cares about the state of it and he can only go to Sonic’s time anyway.

I find this an interesting question myself. The best answer I can give as to why Silver keeps returning to the future is that him being from the future is "his thing", just like how having PK is "his thing". It's just something very much intertwined with his character; basically every bio he has makes mention of it, for example. But I also agree with the notion that him being from the future opens up some issues. I've seen statements that it is difficult to make Silver relevant if he must travel to the past every time, for example, which I don't disagree with (but for me, the same could then be said about Blaze and the Sol Dimension or Knuckles and the Master Emerald). Adding to that, I do not believe we know for certain if its state is generally 'destroyed' or 'saved' and if Silver grew up in a destroyed world (said in multiple bios) or a good one (I'd argue that is implied in Rivals 1, with Eggman Nega almost certainly having stolen the camera from someone else and Onyx Island being both a paradise and having developed industry on it that I do not believe Angel Island currently has). Furthermore, the Rivals games are also not very consistent to me about if the future has actually gotten rewritten or not (but it tentatively seems to lean that way, since Silver says at the end of Rivals 2 he hopes the new future is a happy one), and we legit just do not know how its alleged destruction goes. Does Silver indeed intervene before something bad can happen, or does the future actively turn bad before his very eyes and he goes back in time to undo that again? I am truly not certain if there's ever been a clear-cut answer from a credible source, though I am pretty sure there's multiple conflicting explanations from non-credible ones... but that really doesn't help make things clear. And lastly, we also do not know what he has in his own era when it comes to friends and family, nor is it ever clearly shown or said how he time-travels in any game other than '06. With all that combined I can see why having him return again and again gets... well, confusing, haha!

In that regard, I also feel there is merit in the idea of him just staying for good in the past. His friends are there, it's consistently where the action happens anyway, and Team Sonic Racing indeed hints at him having a sense of precognition. The Japanese version actually dives into it more, with Silver asking himself at the very end when Eggman's battleship is going down if that is what was causing his bad/nagging feelings. Considering he was necessary there to help carry people and racecars off it to safety, it does imply to me that that scene might have intended to show it as a genuine skill of his. Shame the English version cuts that moment out entirely. So yeah, the point of Silver being in the future is, to the best of my explanations, legit just the fact that's how he has been conceptualised, making it "his thing". But it does cause confusions for me, because of how much there is not clearly explained and all the contradictory information out there from non-game sources. I think having Silver stay in the past for good could make for a nice move on Sega's part, assuming it is within his own decisions (so not forced by A ThingTM that is entirely unexplained to us and removes all his agency, for example). I think it'd be a nice resolution for Silver to see his heart lays in the past, and he can still protect his own world from there too!

[todayisafridaynight]

Arakawa family brain rot: I just had the saddest thought about Masato returning from America, but from Masumi's perspective. He's prolly excited to see his son again despite the relationship tension. He's heard Masato has been doing great. His attitude has improved with his health. Maybe things will get better if he tries hard enough.

Maybe there's a chance to fix things.

And there isn't. Masato's just as vindictive and mean and manipulative as he ever was. And Arakawa finally has to mourn the son he never had. The son he told the world had died.

Do you think he ever regretted letting Masato get away with murder? Regretted that it wasn't Ichiban he still had in his life? I have a hard time with this because he loves Masato so much. I just wish he'd had the son who loved him out in the world with him y'know.

But we all know Masato ain't built for prison.

And I can't imagine like... Seeing Jo. Being relieved to see him again but immediately losing confidence because Jo looks so much more *tired* than he did. Ever together and composed but not really His Jo anymore. Not in the same way. It is never the same after he was gone so long.

I'm sure there are moments or even days where they fall into old patterns but I can't help but feel like (if Jo did in fact go to America w Masato) that that would be a defining shift in the relationship between Jo and Masumi.

Idk what this is really about but I got in my Arakawa feelings (I think be instared too long at the picture you posted). 🫰 Thanks for listening to me ramble byyyye~

EVERY DAY of my life i think of arakawa wondering if what they did regarding masato was 'the right choice'- like OF COURSE it was masato literally wouldnt have made it yet if it was the right choice why does it feel like such the wrong choice yeah...

[dutybcrne]

From a very young age, Kaeya held such a fondness for handholding. Whether it was his father clinging tightly to him to make sure he didn’t get lost, Adelinde’s gentle, grounding hand closed over his to comfort him whenever his nerves got the better of him, Crepus’s rough-palmed, firm yet comforting grip as he brought him back home, or, as it was most often of all, Diluc’s warm, yet at times uncomfortably tight hold as he dragged him anywhere, everywhere, determined to always keep Kaeya close and eagerly show him all there was to see, Kaeya treasured the gesture greatly.

Of course, being as shy as he was, initiating it himself was always the harder part. So much so, he would tend to hold pinkies, rather than outright take a person’s hand in his own. Eventually, it would become his most common way to go about the gesture of affection.