#(cannot recommend her highly enough)
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defira85 · 3 months ago
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More than a thousand innocents were killed as a result of the Absolute plot which was conceived of and executed by you, the voice said. You are of your Father's flesh, and you have consumed your Father's flesh. And finally, you have sworn a geas against your Father's worship, and in sitting upon the Throne of the Gods, have reached a point wherein you can bring about his downfall as you have pledged.
Speak it thus, and it will be done. Do you, Kassara Bhaal, claim your Father's domain for your own?
Should you succeed, you will become the Lord of Murder. Should you fail, you will be stripped of all divine powers that you have accumulated to date, never to challenge the balance of existence again.
If you become the Lord of Murder, you will be a god. You will be bound to the cosmic order of checks and balances, and your humanity will eventually be subsumed in service to your role. You will simply be Murder.
Keep Telling Me To Breath, Chapter 10
I had the distinct pleasure several months ago of commissioning @lokorum to draw Kass in her darkest timeline. It was my birthday present to me, and although my birthday is still two weeks away, I wanted to post it in time for the Patch 7 Evil Endings. I've genuinely cried over it, it's so extraordinary. Presenting Kassara Bhaal, the new God of Murder
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fialine · 3 months ago
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i had the pleasure of commissioning @kalidels again, this time to paint my dark urge, fialine ! ♄
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teeto-peteto · 11 months ago
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im still not over them.
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potter-inthe-tardis · 2 years ago
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My Top 10 Songs of 2022
If you're curious about my top 10 k-pop songs of 2022 check them out here!!!
Cypress By Sarah Kinsley
That's Our Lamp By Mitski
In Flight By Sunflower Bean
Happiness By The 1975
Love, Try Not To Let Go By Julia Jacklin
Tonight By Phoenix Featuring Ezra Koenig
Mr. Schwartz By Arctic Monkeys
Angelica By Wet Leg
Sidelines By Phoebe Bridgers
Bad Habit By Steve Lacy
I'm tagging: @pieces-of-silverwing @heichoumama @imaginationofacrazyfangirl @a-rhinestone-cowboy @vauqita @peter-kirkland @roseamiginger @thesetwoinone @american-virtues @littlemisssweetdreams and anyone who happens to see this im also tagging you! And as always you dont have to do this but it would be fun if you did!!!
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queen-eevee · 2 years ago
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hiiiiii hiroto + 31?
I would be lying if I didn’t say this poem was Heavily inspired by Jane Hirshfield's "It Was Like This: You Were Happy."
—
31: Volunteer by Bitter Ruin
At the end of the day, it went like this:
You raised your hand. You were picked. You signed the paperwork before the ashes settled because your team had a season to finish. You were not suited for the role; you were the only volunteer. You became the captain.
You lost teammates. You gained new ones. You lost friends, and there were no replacements. You dug holes in the outfield—left field, right field—past the grass line, under the stands, around the dugout. You cleaned the dirt off your jersey, your cleats, your gloves. You washed your face after games. You wore your hair shorter. You held your head higher. You took your laughter's loudness and pushed it into your pitches. You ate pomegranates and ripe currants, peeled clementines for waiting hands. You rinsed blood from your scalp and pressed wet washcloths to bloodied faces. You didn't win any championships. You stopped losing teammates. You penned postcards to the girl you were afraid to love and you threw bottles into the River's pallid tide. You grew to hate the smell of char. You learned to hate the tang of blood. You pitched until you fit the accolade of "best" and moved the expectations to "perfect." You watched a god die. You cursed two more for good measure. You swallowed fire and didn't burn. You called yourself happy and meant it. You forgave the girl who put you here. You prayed to the gods you loved. You dug more holes. You took naps on your teammates' couches. Sometimes, they would say something to make you laugh out of sleep, and the dreams behind your eyes would burst into color.
—
Send me a number and a character and I'll write a poem inspired by my Spotify Wrapped!
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daughterofsarenrae · 4 months ago
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You guys I'm starting to think Sparrow doesnt like to be locked up safely at night
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vegan-peppermint · 13 days ago
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Your Boyfriend's Bed
Pairing: Hoodie x Masky'sGF!Reader
Fandom: Marble Hornets
Genre: Smut MDNI
Word count: 1.7k
Warnings: Cheating, creampie, rough sx, P in V
Summary: Your boyfriend is a B, but his best friend's there to take your side.
Author's Note: After a three-year hiatus, I finally found the inspiration to write again—thanks to this incredible fanfiction. It sparked something in me. I can’t recommend it enough, so please show the creator some love. Their work is the reason I’m writing again after all this time. This fic is inspired by their masterpiece, so I highly encourage you to check it out first!
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More often than not, you were a collateral victim in your boyfriend and his friend’s fights. Tim and Brian were too close for your liking, they had a great co-dependency going on way before you came in the picture. If Brain was in a bad mood, so was Tim. If you got in a fight with Tim, Brian was giving you the silent treatment as well as taking sides without hesitation.
It was more than you bargained for, not realising getting Tim as a boyfriend meant taking responsibility for his grown-ass best friend as well. But you managed. With each month that passed in your relationship it was getting easier for you, to the point it was almost natural to consider them both in every action you took. 
Weirdly enough, you so much preferred for them to be mad at you instead of at each other. Whenever their balance wavered they started acting batshit crazy. Tim confessed some details about their ‘alternative’ life after- what, a year in you relationship? 
You didn’t fully grasp what he meant by their “alter egos” or their nighttime escapades, but you quickly realized you didn’t want to. You had your suspicions, of course. You weren’t blind. But as long as they didn’t outright spell it out for you, you could continue living in blissful ignorance. It was easier that way, and you convinced yourself that you were okay with it.
But today—today was different. Today, things had escalated to an entirely new level.
Tim was screaming at Brian, who was cloaked in that damned creepy hood that made him look so unsettling. Tim's anger seemed to grow by the second, and when “Hoodie” (as you suppose you should call him now) refused to react, it only fueled Tim’s rage.
You tried to calm him down, talk to him or something- anything.
A strained, guttural laugh escaped Tim, trembling with anger. He started explining to you how you do not even begin to understand what has happened, how you should just shut up and not get involved- his voice full with disdain, every sentence designed to belittle and assert his supposed superiority. 
Now you are not the one to get angry easily, but this time- this time something in you snapped. You were done being talked down to, done being made feel small or pathetic for just wanting some peace.
“No wonder he would not bother to have your back when you act like such a prick.”
“Oh, just shut up you bit-,” his words faltered as he caught himself mid-sentence, swallowing the insult faster than a politician trying to cover his tracks.
You cannot recreate what was spoken after that word for word, just that all hell broke loose. It was no longer a fight between Tim and Brian- no, it wasn’t just them anymore. It was you and Hoodie against Tim. You were screaming and throwing your every angry complaint you had been holding in for far too long. And Hoodie- Hoodie of all people- was backing your every word, every statement. However, Hoodie’s remark is what really sealed and shipped Tim’s whole spirit.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a girl so frustrated with her boyfriend in my life, Masky. Can only imagine you’re lacking in some aspects.”
The words hit harder than anything you had said. They were cold, calculated, and aimed straight at the core of Tim’s pride. The room seemed to hold its breath, and for a moment, Tim stood there, trembling with the weight of the accusation. His face twisted in disbelief, but the damage had already been done.
What followed between the two of them was pure madness. Shouting, shoving, items flying off shelves—everything seemed to spin out of control. Pushing, pulling, voices rising higher and higher, until the tension reached a breaking point. Tim’s eyes flickered with something darker, something unstable, before he turned to grab his mask and stormed out of the room, slamming the door so hard it shook the walls.
Well, this has happened this morning. You realise you could’ve done things differently, not taking sides or waiting for their fight to end before starting your own. That was your mistake. But leaving you hurt and angry with only Hoodie to comfort you was his.
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You were on all fours on your boyfriends bed, face buried in his pillows. Hoodie’s gloved hand pushed down on your back arching it more- your ass rising higher. 
Your clothes were littering the floor from the doorway to the edge of the bed, the cold air tickling your bare skin. Your eyes landed on the wardrobe’s mirror showing your helpless reflection with Hoodie’s tall frame behind you. He was completely dressed from his boots to the black mask that covered his face- he was glacial. 
His left hand- formerly on your back-  grabbed your hip harshly. He dragged the other painfully slow across your side- from ass, to waist and finally around your breast. You whimpered at the harsh feeling of his gloves palming your tits. 
“So sensitive
” he sighed. The nub was hardening against his touch making it easier for him to pinch or gently twist your nipple. 
You inhaled sharply trying to steady yourself but being met with Tim’s smell wasn’t helping. “H-Hodie...” you whined. 
His hands left your body and you heard his pants zipper opening. You tried to push yourself on your forearms, an instinct to turn around and see what you were dealing with, but before you could make a move a firm grip grabbed at the back of your neck. The sharp tug sent shivers down your spine as Hoodie yanked your head back. With a swift flick of his wrist, he let go of your nape only to have his fingers dart into your hair. His grip was certain and precise. “You’re way to eager to get on another man’s cock.” Your face was shoved once again back into the mattress. 
He was watching you excitedly as he brushed his tip across your folds- a groan escaping his lips when he felt how wet you already were. There was something primal about knowing you belonged to someone else yet he got to claim you as his right now. 
“Be quiet now,” he instructed sliding his cock inside you. You tried your best, you swore you did but he was so- big. Your eyes rolled upwards and your fingers gripped tightly at the sheets as you tried your best not to scream. His cock pressed deeper and deeper inside your cunt, stretching you in ways you did not even imagine possible. “You moan like a whore,” he growled with a final push. You felt your face blushing in shame- he talked to you in ways you would've never allowed your boyfriend, but on his lips those words felt so natural; almost like praises.
“Shh, shh,” he murmured, the sound gentle but insistent. You were already panting and crying just by the size of him. He gave you a moment to adjust to him being balls deep inside your aching cunt but your whines wouldn’t stop. He leaned over you, the rough material of his clothes scratching your soft skin. His hand reached to the side of your face, you thought he wanted to wipe away the tears that were sliding down your cheeks. He chuckled, his hand covering your mouth instead. “I’m gonna fuck you senseless, sweetheart.” 
________________________________
“Fuck, fuck- fuck! Feels so- Agh!~” 
You were screaming so fucking loudly. Your head was bumping to the ruthless rhythm of Hoodie’s thrusts. His fingers left red marks all over your ass, your hips- he was tugging at your body merciless, squeezing and scratching every inch of skin he could find. 
With trembling hands you tried your best to hold onto the bed frame as Hoodie was rutting into you from behind. His balls were hitting your swollen clit so hard- again and again and- “Am so close- so close, so close!”  Jaw was hanging open, you were gasping for air. 
“Fucking whore,” Hoodie sighed grabbing your neck with one hand, the other searching for your open mouth. “Bet he never fucked you this good, eh?” He gave a sinister chuckle as he shoved his fingers down your throat. You followed his cruel pull falling back on his torso. He was squeezing at the sides of you neck reminding you how little and vulnerable you are right now, “You only breath right now- scream and cry- you only feel this good because I allow you to.”
You whine taking him even deeper, his cock slaming your walls faster. His fingers explored your mouth pressing down your tongue, his grip thightend. 
“I could snap your neck right now, you know?”
You cry out loud in desperation, surrenedring control to him completely. Your eyes shut in anticipation, every muscle in you tightens-
“Say who you really belong to, who fucks you like a bitch in heat,” he snarls. “Say my name.”
And you do. Over and over again you do as your gummy walls squeeze around his length unbearably thight, waves of pleasure wash all over you. Hoodie’s hands allow you to gasp for air just for a second as they move under your arms grabbing you by the shoulders. His sudden body weight pushed you on your belly, fucking you deeper into the matress. His thrusts grow sloppy and desparate with no regard towards you- he was fucking you like a fleshlight.
“I’ll pump you so full of cum, MY cum-” Muffled sounds rose from deep in his chest, you were able to hear his clenched teeth through the sharp breaths he took. “Breed you so good you’ll be ruined- Fuck-” he whimpered. “Ruined for Tim,” his thrusts are brutal and harsh and- so goddamn overwhelming. 
His cum shots in hot strings, his member twitching inside your ruined cunt. His hands pull you closer and hips push further trying to get as deep as possible- deeper than Tim at least. 
You felt bad for comparing but the way he feels on top of you, in you- he fucked you in ways your boyfriend never could. When you tried to shift he grabbed a fistful of your hair forcing your head back. With lazy motions he started fucking his cum deeper.
“I didn’t tell you you could fucking move yet.”
//
This is my first fic since, what- 2021? Wow. Crazy.
I'll keep on writing my usual content as well, but creepypastas and gore-y stuff has always been something I wanted to write but never felt confident enough before. Anyways, feel free to request or send me any message, I came back from my hiatus! Never thought I'd say that lol.
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celestie0 · 9 months ago
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MASSIVE gojo x reader fanfic rec (no spoilers)
ok i know a lot of my followers are gojo girlies and i just need to put yall onto this fucking fanfiction because i just read the latest release for it and i’m genuinely tweaking rnđŸ§đŸ»â€â™€ïž
@lostfracturess ‘s amazing work called “symptoms & causes” - a medical au
[image pulled from her masterlist]
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let me just
let me just try to even gather the reasons why you need to add this to your tbr lists (weekend is comin up too so perfect time)
characterization of gojo satoru.
gojo in this fic is characterized so fucking well, from chapter one. there are so many distinctive ways miss lostfractures goes about building his aura (word of mouth/reputation, dialogue, expository, primary interactions, secondary interactions, etc.) it reminds me of the show where gojo just has this energy to him that you can't tear yourself away from i picture him in this fic to be unrelenting, unforgiving, morally grey, with an undertone of softness yet still feral through it all,, basically gojo during shibuya arc LOL. i looove reading cute silly boy gojo fics sm (he’s so baby) but THIS fic explores the borderline wicked side of him that is so thrilling, unique, and rare to find i think in this fandom’s collection of works. it’s just so fucking good.
forbidden romance.
UGGHH i love stories w forbidden romance. in this one, it’s med student reader x professor gojo (additional power dynamics in that he’s a senior surgeon in her field and also a research mentor in her study of interest
TRIPLE THREAT DAMN). i love how miss lostfractures doesn’t shy away from reminding the reader that it’s wrong, and that they shouldn’t be doing this. that’s my fave part of forbidden romances like yesss remind me again why this is all so wrong but let’s still do it anyways LOL <333
reader’s voice.
i’ve LOVED reader since the beginning, so relatable, emotionally mature, all her flaws are so believable & her strengths are shown seamlessly. it’s just so much fun to read because i’ll literally have a thought like “hmm
that (something a character said/did) doesn’t sound very convincing” and then the next line will be something like “he didn’t sound very convincing” like!!! me and s&c reader?? we’re locked in like this frđŸ€žđŸŒ like gojo’s domain expansion fingers
escapism.
everything in this story feels so damn real it’s insane. the pacing is stunning, love the utilization of stacks of scenes that are sort of short but so concise, enough to be a smooth read but still descriptive enough to entirely transport you into the world that’s being built. cannot praise the writing in this story enough. also the variety of ways that scenarios are made that pull characters closer to one another?? so creative. as someone who works in a research lab, studied bio in college (some of the fkn biochem stuff that comes up in this fic gives me heart attacks lmfaooo pls im traumatized), and has worked in clinics/hospitals it just itches my brain so damn good. you’ll be convinced you’re a brilliant med student while you read this fic.
writing.
the writing is just. so. good. it’s so good. better than most PUBLISHED works i’ve read. i really can't say much other than that, you just have to go see for yourself.
—
if any of these reasons speak to you, i highly recommend you check the fic out. just a note tho it does have some dark themes but you can find all the tags/warnings on her page!
OK BYE
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star2fishmeg · 2 months ago
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can you share some of your Luke recs?
Of course! I may have gone a bit overboard but I just love love love all these fics and their authors so so much. I highly recommend all these writers and their blogs, from the nsfw to the sfw, I couldn't stress how highly I respect and recommend them enough:
≡ᮍᮇɱ's ʟ᎜ᎋᎇ ÊœáŽœÉąÊœáŽ‡s ғÉȘᮄ ʀᎇᎄs
—SMUT
♄ again by @hhughes (you can find her on @bedsyandco now I think) ➄ I frequently find myself going back to this one, the way Cami has written it is just so addicting and it's so hot.
♄ the mortifying ordeal of being a 20 year old virgin by @theemporium ➄ This series is hard as hell, literally love it. Each chapter is just divine and I love Luke and reader's dynamic, it's so juicy and with every new chapter, I think I literally heel click and do a jig.
♄ escape from la by @eyesthatroll ➄ Another one I go back to often, still think about it to this day actually, I just picture it vividly and it gives me butterflies every time.
♄ locker room by @lucijawriteswords ➄ Words cannot describe how much of a chokehold this one has on me. Angry Luke is so hot and I can't stop thinking about the imagery and I want this so bad.
♄ those sleepless nights - @wineauntie ➄ I present to you; my bedtime story. Sleepy smut is just so yummy, you know? And I just wanted Luke wrapped around me after I read this, I now go back to it when it's some silly hour of the morning.
♄ stress reduction by @goldfades ➄ Bro I cannot begin to explain how many times I've read this one. Short and sweet and so sensual, I want it. You'll literally read it and feel something.
♄ risquĂ© reflections by @sweetestdesire ➄ This is the place for filth and I'm a loyal customer. This fic had me doing deep breaths and GOD it's so yummy. Read it once and then went back because the buzz it gave me.
♄ the green eyed monster by @puck-luck ➄ Jealousy has never looked hotter on a man. I remember reading this one morning before uni and yeah let's say I wasn't thinking about my class that day. Andy went all in with this and Jesus it was hot as fuck.
—FLUFF
♄ he's been a bit of a jerk by @quinnylouhughesx43 ➄ I've never liked the winter more, I need Luke to come find my lonely ass and kiss me too. This was too cute honestly and the second part is just as good. Recommend reading them back-to-back.
♄ too tall by @toasttt11 ➄ Anything to do with height differences has me in shambles and this was so cute. I just love the image of Luke standing in the kitchen at 12am like a deer in headlights.
♄ uh oh by @be4chywritez ➄ The Curtis-Luke rivalry will always make me giggle and even funnier with the sneaking around trope, I adored this and the locker room scene. The whole thing is so cute and lighthearted.
♄ jelly on a plate by @wineauntie ➄ I dislike the process of flying so this was a really comforting read and I love it so much. It's adorable and reassuring at the same time and if you're not a fan of flying, I really recommend having Luke with you in spirit.
♄ my princess by @lvrhughes ➄ No because this one's fun and fresh and adorable. Something about drunken nights will always get me, especially when it's one looking after the other. Filled my heart with warmth.
♄ caught by @ifimdreaming ➄ Love this one a lot, it's funny and cute. It perfectly portrays siblings having an argument and Trevor making an appearance will always be funny. Luke is just too cute and love me protective Luke.
♄ kiss her you fool by @withwritersblock ➄ Tooth rotting fluff, friends to lovers and just pining and that's my cup of tea. Loverboy Luke has you aching for him to be honest and you'll wish you were y/n and so much touching that has you tingling.
♄ "are you awake yet?" blurb by @bedsyandco @hhughes ➄ I wish I had this in my life, honestly. Read this and you wish you did too. It's so sweet it makes me kick my feet and twirl my hair, run laps around my room, go through my Luke Pinterest board. I love the way Cami writes Luke.
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so-i-did-this-thing · 29 days ago
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I cannot recommend having little old lady friends highly enough. Just last night in latchhook class, one of them was telling us how her sister smuggled her MiL's ashes in her bra to scatter at Walt Disney World.
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luxcuriousao3 · 1 month ago
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Dove: A Zombie Ghost Story (Chapter One)
Summary: The loneliness was killing him. He was already dead and somehow it was killing him. For every day that passed with only the other undead for company, Simon’s voice grew more and more quiet. He was desperate. Desperate for an anchor to the humanity that kept slipping through his cold, stiff fingers. Word Count: 3200 Warnings: no smut this chapter (this fic is the slowest of burns y'all, strap in for a looooong ride), briefly referenced (non-graphic) SA in the OC's backstory, semi-graphic violence, POV switches denoted by line breaks (it starts off from the OC's POV but switches to Ghost's pretty quickly) Notes: It's finally here. My contribution to the Zombie!Ghost community. You can think the creators of his Alone skin to converting me into a monsterfucker (after all the years I managed to avoid collecting that kink, smdh) and @xoxunhinged for making me utterly obsessed with poor, sweet, undead Simon. Their fic sick <3 is absolutely amazing and was definitely a huge inspiration for Dove. They are just a fantastic writer, I literally cannot gush over their stories enough. I highly, highly recommend that y'all go binge read their stuff, and Unhinged, if you're reading this, I'm your biggest fan <3 (also please don't read this cuz it sucks in comparison to yours and I'll die of embarrassment if you do /hj). AO3, Masterlist
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Lelia had just turned twenty when she was married off by her father. He was a politician, and her hand in marriage to some rich and powerful CEO’s son had been traded for monetary support of his campaign. Lelia’s husband was not kind, and the end of the world hadn’t changed that, when it happened three months later.
They had been evacuated to a military safe zone early on, early enough that Lelia had avoided seeing the complete and utter carnage the virus wrought upon the world. That had been why, after finding herself whored out by her husband to the soldiers in charge for better rations and amenities, Lelia decided she would be better off on her own. She’d run away, escaped the base and disappeared into the woods.
She lasted less than a day.
After hours of running, fueled by pure adrenaline and an overwhelming need to finally be free of Andrew’s casual cruelty, Lelia found herself alone in the woods, surrounded by the ravenous, snarling zombies she’d only heard of in other survivors’ stories. She’d never actually seen one of the undead, at least not while they were still alive
 for some sense of the word.
Out of options, Lelia scrambled up a tree—and how she’d managed that, as unathletic as she was, she once again chalked up to adrenaline and some recently unearthed instinct to survive—perching on a thick, sturdy branch as high up as she could get. A clawed hand grabbing her foot nearly spelled her demise, but with a frantic kick, she shook the moldering limb off and hoisted herself up.
She stared down at the mass of walking corpses beneath her, and then briefly closed her eyes, letting out a shaky breath. There were at least a dozen, though it was difficult to count them in the darkness when they kept moving around. For all she knew, there were more. Either way, she was done for. She wouldn't have been able to fight back against even a single one. She was foolish to think she could survive out here, on her own. But she found that she didn’t regret leaving—at the very least, she got to taste freedom before her inevitable demise. The only thing she regretted was the painful, gruesome way in which she would go, once she ended up on the ground. And she would end up on the ground, she knew. Whether she simply tipped over after passing out from exhaustion, or lost her grip on the tree trunk
 well. If Lelia was lucky, the fall would kill her instantly. She desperately hoped that God would grant her that one mercy, after all she had been through.
She knew there was no point in delaying her death. That she was only prolonging her own fear and suffering. And yet, she couldn't bring herself to let go. Her hands stayed stubbornly locked together as her arms hugged the tree, the toes of her shoes—ballet flats, since she owned no trainers or hiking boots, even months into the apocalypse—planted firmly on two slightly lower branches to help keep her balance. She stayed like that for hours, until her limbs locked up and her muscles burned. She pushed her body to the limit, eyes dry and irritated from refusing to fall asleep, knowing exactly what would happen if she did. It was an exercise in fruitlessness, in needless agony, and yet Lelia bore it as stoically as she could, the only sign of her terror the silent tears dripping from her eyes. Because despite it all, despite knowing it would change nothing, Lelia didn’t want to die.
“Please,” she whispered, the first words she’d spoken since escaping the base. Her voice was hoarse from disuse and thick from her tears, and the small sniffle that followed it sounded clogged. She didn’t know who she was talking to—God, maybe, or perhaps a figment of her imagination, just so she didn’t feel so alone—but she knew no one would hear her. No one ever heard her. No one ever listened. “Somebody please help me
 I want to live.”
***
Ghost tilted his head to the side as he examined the woman in the tree. He had been drawn by the loud snapping and snarling that had plagued the forest for hours now, signaling a gathering of the undead. The only thing that brought so many to the same place was the promise of a meal. And so, after waiting a while to avoid having to actually do the killing of innocents—something that bothered the vestiges of humanity that rattled around in his infected brain—he’d headed in the direction of the noise, hoping to find some leftover scraps.
Instead, he found her. A tiny slip of a girl, trembling in a tree and looking for all the world like a fragile little bird, too weak to fly away to safety but not yet resigned to her gruesome fate. Ghost found himself unusually curious, and he studied her for what could have been minutes or hours. He wasn’t sure—time had lost all meaning not long after he turned. Sometimes, weeks would go by without him noticing, the only indication that any time had passed at all being the changing colors of the leaves. The small part of him that was still able to feel emotions worried about how he would be able to mark the passage of time when it was no longer autumn. He tried not to think about it, in the rare moments that he could form semi-coherent thoughts. He preferred to spend that time reminiscing on happier days, trying to recall the names and faces of family and friends from before. He had already forgotten most of them. Only a few memories lingered—bright blue eyes, a deep Scottish burr, the scent of clean soap, and, much fainter, whiskey.
When Ghost came back to himself, he realized he had drifted closer to the girl in the tree, now standing right at the base of it, staring up at her like all the other infected. The only difference was that he wasn’t scratching at the bark and growling like some rabid animal. He was still, milky white eyes trained on her face. Round cheeks, big brown doe eyes, pretty pink lips, and a small, upturned nose, framed by loose, auburn curls that went down to her waist. She was beautiful, the part of him that was still human noticed. The part of him that was driven by an unceasing instinct to rend and consume flesh, on the other hand, was drawn in by her scent. Light and floral, with a hint of something sugary, she smelled like she would taste incredible. Saliva pooled in his mouth and dribbled out, his broken jaw hanging uselessly.
“Please. Somebody please help me. I want to live.”
Her voice was angelic, despite the fear in it, and Ghost perked up at the sound. It was as small as her and as sweet as she smelled. Everything about her screamed of an innocence he’d long thought purged from the world, from her voice to her scent to the tear tracks on her face that glistened silver in the moonlight, her pale skin nearly glowing. She reminded him of a dove—small and frail and pure. Easy to break and easy to kill.
Don’t let her die, Simon’s voice said in his head, like a distant echo. She doesn’t deserve to die, not now, not like this.
Ghost, who had not heard Simon’s voice in a long while, shifted uneasily. He had helped the living often, in the beginning, when he'd realized he still held some measure of sentience, of control over his new, cannibalistic instincts. In return, he had been shot at, stabbed, slashed, skewered, and otherwise attacked. The human part of him had understood, and the first few times it happened, he’d simply retreated, despite his growing desire for companionship to chase away the terrible loneliness of his cursed existence. Most people had been confused by the zombie not trying to eat them, but far too relieved to try and chase him down to finish him off. They had simply accepted their strange good fortune and ran the other way while they still had the chance.
The last human he had tried to save had not been so smart.
After scaring away the horde of undead chasing the man, he’d remained, still and silent so as not to seem like a threat. He had known then how foolish it was, had known he should have left right away, that his decaying body would only be damaged further by a vicious hack from the man’s gore-covered machete—but the loneliness was killing him. He was already dead and somehow it was killing him. For every day that passed with only the other undead for company, Simon’s voice grew more and more quiet. He was desperate. Desperate for an anchor to the humanity that kept slipping through his cold, stiff fingers.
The man had charged at him, nearly taking Ghost’s arm off, and dejected, he had turned to leave. But this man was different from the others, stupider—or perhaps a little mad. He had pursued Ghost brutally, intent on ending his miserable existence. Part of Ghost had wanted to let him, but another part refused. This was not much of a life, not a life at all, really, but it was his and he wouldn’t let anyone take it away from him.
And so, after the dozenth swing, he’d snapped.
The man had been no match for his strength, wouldn't have been even before the virus had enhanced it. Ghost had batted the machete away like it was nothing but a toy, and then sunk his claws into the vulnerable flesh of the man's exposed throat, ripping it out. Hot blood had sprayed across his face, blood that was still there to his day, as Ghost had devoured a human for the first time, stuffing clumps of flesh into his mouth, manually moving his broken jaw up and down in order to chew. The process had been long and repetitive, but every second of it had been utter bliss.
Ghost had methodically stripped every inch of flesh from every piece of bone on the man’s torso, gorging himself on the delicious meal. He’d eaten the organs with vigor, surprised to find that each had tasted a little different. His favorite had been the liver.
Simon’s voice had stopped insisting he helped people, after that day. Though whether that was because he was afraid of snapping again, or because feasting on a person had degraded his humanity that much more, Ghost was unsure. And sometimes, when he had those brief moments of clarity, it unnerved him that he didn't particularly care either way.
But there was something different about this little dove. Simon had spoken up again, for her, for some reason that should have been unknowable to Ghost and yet wasn’t. He didn’t want to see her torn to shreds by the other undead, either—though in truth, he couldn’t fully tell if that was because he wanted to protect her, or if it was because he wanted to eat her himself. She smelled so sweet, after all, he just knew biting into her flesh would be the closest he ever got to seeing heaven.
No, Simon snapped, and Ghost grunted, shaking his head as he tamped down on his beastly urges. Then, he turned around, facing away from the little dove in the tree, and snarled viciously at the other undead. A little more than half fled immediately, but those that remained crowded closer, snarling back. Ghost swiped a massive, gloved hand at them, knocking two of them over, and screeched, the sound blood curdling. All but one backed down, shambling away with a chorus of agitated hisses.
The only one left, a zombie that had once been a man only slightly larger than Ghost, roared a challenge and flung itself at him. He caught it easily and slammed it into the ground, its bigger size no match for his greater strength.
The thing that used to be a man growled and groaned as it tried to get back to its rotting feet, but Ghost didn’t give it a chance, stomping down hard on its skull. It gave easily with a slight squishing sound, brain matter splattering over his black, grime-covered combat boots. Ghost snarled once more in victory, then looked back up, towards the girl he had done all this for.
She stared down at him in pure terror.
Ghost felt an unexpected pang of hurt at that. For a second, he wondered if he should leave her before she pulled out a hidden knife and hurled it at his head, but the thought was quickly discarded. He didn’t want to leave the little dove. She would never survive on her own.
So instead, he backed up several steps, giving her plenty of space to climb down without getting close to him.
She didn't move.
Ghost could be patient, though, vaguely recalling long hours spent silent and still, peering down the scope of a rifle. So he remained standing there, quiet and unmoving, for as long as it took.
It turned out that that was a very, very long time.
Half an hour passed—and the fact that he was aware enough to know just how long had gone by was quite unusual—before the little dove moved. It was her legs, finally giving out on her as her feet slipped off the branches below her. She wobbled slightly, and Ghost rushed forward with a growl that almost sounded concerned, ready to catch her. He heard her let out a frightened whimper when he moved, and he tried to coo at her to let her know he wouldn’t hurt her, but it just came out sounding like a small, off putting gurgle. He quickly went quiet, knowing the disgusting sound was the opposite of reassuring. He cursed his past self for breaking his jaw after he’d been bit—a last, desperate attempt to stop himself from biting and infecting anyone. He didn’t know if he would be able to talk, even if it was intact, but he’d at least have been able to try.
“Please,” the girl whispered, forehead leaned against the rough bark of the tree as she shook like a leaf in a windstorm. “Please go away.”
Ghost swallowed, hesitating. He didn’t want to leave her. She would die if he left her. And that was rapidly becoming an intolerable outcome for him. He didn’t understand why. It just was.
But she could also die if she fell from the tree and Ghost’s ruin of a body failed to catch her in time. And she would fall, if she didn't come down soon. He could see that all the strength had left her frail body, and that she was only holding on through sheer willpower. Or maybe fear.
Ghost let out a soft groan that he hoped she would somehow understand was an agreement. Then, he turned around and walked stiffly back into the forest, until he was hidden in the darkness. He could still smell her, though, tantalizingly sweet, and if he squinted, he could see her silhouette. The pale pink, ankle length skirt and matching jacket she wore—Ghost groaned quietly in frustration at the impracticality of it, wondering where she had come from to be so clean and still wearing such fancy clothes—was practically a beacon as it reflected the light of the full moon.
Several more minutes passed before the little dove finally began to fly down from her nest. Ghost was tense the entire time, relearning the feeling of fear as he watched her climb down, half expecting her to fall and break her neck. And she did fall—but only after she'd made it most of the way, only a couple feet left between her and the ground. He could hear the small, startled oof she let out as her bum hit the dirt, and he twitched, ready to run back to her—but she stood up on shaky legs a few seconds later, dusting off her skirt and quickly glancing around before seemingly picking a direction at random and beginning to walk in it. Her movements were almost as stiff as his, and he hissed a little in displeasure at the thought of her being in pain. This was why she should have come down when he was there. He would have carried her somewhere safe, and she wouldn't have to limp around aimlessly in the dark, tired and hurting.
For such a large man, Ghost could be incredibly quiet. And he was, as he tailed her for another two hours, never any more than ten steps behind her. She didn’t even look over her shoulder once. She may have been a little dove, but she had the survival instincts of a newborn kitten.
She finally collapsed from pain and exhaustion, crawling into a hollowed out tree trunk that only someone as small as her could have fit into. She was out in seconds, he could tell from the way her breathing changed from panicked to steady, though still labored from exertion. It wasn’t a horrible spot to hole up in, but she was far too exposed for his liking.
He approached her with silent footsteps, careful not to wake her. As he did, he scanned the area with his senses, since she had neglected to. There were a few infected shambling through the brush about twenty or so meters away. If they got any closer, they were bound to smell her. But that was alright, because Ghost had no intention of leaving her alone while she was so vulnerable.
He gazed down at her, milky white eyes taking in her shadowed features. She looked young, painfully so, at least compared to his forty years of age. Or was it forty-one, now? He was sure his birthday had passed, it was at the end of summer, but he didn’t know if it counted as getting older, since he was no longer alive.
He pushed the thought away, focusing on the girl again. She couldn’t be more than twenty, that much was certain. And he was watching her sleep like some nasty old perv.
The thought had him turning around, placing his back a mere foot away from the opening in the tree trunk. He didn’t want to make her feel trapped if she woke up, but he wasn't willing to leave enough space for something to slip in and attack her, either. He would keep her safe tonight. And maybe, just maybe, if she saw that he was useful and wouldn't hurt her, she wouldn’t shoo him away like a stray dog in the morning. Though he knew that even if she did, he wouldn’t leave entirely. He would be her shadow, her Ghost, a benevolent specter haunting her every step, and tearing apart any that dared to threaten his little dove.
Your little dove? A voice asked in his head. He didn’t know if it was Simon’s or his own or someone else’s. But it was his that answered.
Mine.
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joydemorra · 8 months ago
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Do you ever start something as a joke and lose complete control over your life?
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In a world of dwindling hope, love has never mattered more... [read the full blurb here]
What is Hunger Pangs?
Hunger Pangs, often shortened to “Phangs” by the self-proclaimed phangdom, is my debut romance novel, published in Nov 2020, featuring a deaf, disabled werewolf, a neurodivergent, mad scientist vampire, and an all-powerful enchantress who is the last of her kind.
It is the first book in a slow-burn, polyamorous gaslamp fantasy romance series focusing on the relationship(s) and antics of the three main characters, Nathan Northland, Vlad Blutstein, and Lady Ursula, as they work to save the world they love from imminent magical and ecological disaster.
The first book primarily focuses on the relationship between Nathan and Vlad, with Ursula heavily alluded to in the next book (Pride and Folly) via some shameless flirting and stolen, impulsive kisses.
No love triangles here. Just three highly competent, world-saving bisexuals sharing the same brain cell the closer they get to each other.
There are two editions of the novel. The Flirting with Fangs edition depicts on-page sexual acts, and the Fluff and Fangs edition which uses alternative scenes/fade-to-black scenes for those who prefer not to read depictions of sex. You can read more about why I decided to do this here.
How Did Phangs come to be?
Like most things on my blog, the original concept began as a joke. My friend and enabler, @jeneelestrange, and I were talking about our least favorite tropes in romance/erotica, including but not limited to toxic “alpha” werewolves, brooding stalker vampire boyfriends, and the absolute profound bullshit that is the Conflicted Love Triangle and Bury Your Gays.
Eventually, it culminated in this post:
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(source)
It was meant to be a joke. I really cannot emphasize this enough. It was meant to be a shitpost between friends.
A throwaway ADHD impulse.
Tumblr, however, wanted more of these posts, and like a swarming mass of drift-compatible rats in a trench coat, grabbed hold of my lack of impulse control and Ratatouille'd me into becoming an international bestselling author, and, well, here we are.
I also started writing the series while dying, which I highly do not recommend as a functional creative process.
Absolutely do not start a 500k five-part novel series about love and hope while dying from an undiagnosed genetic disorder. Or if you do, make sure you actually die so you don't have to edit the damn thing. (I am mostly kidding.)
What are the themes/tropes/character dynamics of the book?
In the simplest of terms, Phangs is a queer-polyamorous-paranormal-satirical-romance series featuring vampires, werewolves, and all other manner of creatures that go bump in the night.
It is set in a pseudo-regency meets fake-Victorian Gaslamp Fantasy world, complete with gothic castles, enchanted forests, and just a smidge of industrial coal dust.
Style-wise, Phangs has been described by readers as "like reading the queer, goth love child of Terry Pratchett meets Jane Austen," and I've never been more proud of anything in my life.
If Game of Thrones ascribes to the idea that the night is dark and full of terrors, Phangs is the monster-fucker politely sidling up to them at the bar and asking if they can buy them a drink.
It is also primarily a love letter to fandom, which has led some people to believe it’s fanfiction with the serial labels filed off. But as the person who spent five years agonizing over the world-building, I can assure you this is all very much the product of my weird little ADHD brain picking up tropes, shaking them upside down, and running off with whatever fun and interesting things shake loose.
As already stated, the first book, True Love Bites, focuses primarily on the relationship between Captain Nathaniel J. Northland and Viscount Vlad Blutstein.
The first part of the book primarily focuses on Nathan coming home injured from war and trying to find his place in the world as newly deaf and disabled -- something which alienates him from his werewolf family, who don't know what to do with an injury that can't be mended by a full moon.
While working on the island of Eyrie, he encounters Viscount Blutstein -- Vlad-- a neurodivergent, mad scientist dandy vampire with an enthusiasm for demonic botany and a streak of unfailing kindness as broad and expansive as the sky.
It's not so much love at first sight for the pair as instantaneous lust hampered by the restrictions of polite 1880 society and old ingrained prejudices that make them think the other couldn't possibly be interested in them that way. They're just misreading all those heartfelt stares and sexually charged chess games.
(The love is requited, your honor, they're just idiots.)
Both characters are explicitly queer/mspec, as is Ursula, who drops into their world like a magical atom bomb going off, but not before she spends her own parts of the book desperately trying to figure out what manner of dark entity is killing the magical shrines around the world that keep the world alive.
Thematically, the series touches on many things, but the book’s overriding theme is love. Romantically, of course, and love between families, both found or otherwise. But also love as an act of courage. As a choice. An act of defiance in dark and troubling times, and what it means to be loved and belong even though you’re different.
Especially when you’re different.
And I really fucking hope you enjoy it.
To read the full synopsis and check out the heat ratings, buy links and content tags, go to www.joydemorra.com
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bethanydelleman · 2 years ago
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Why you should read Northanger Abbey
Northanger Abbey frequently scores second on polls of least liked Austen novel, but I honestly don’t know why because it's awesome. So let me try to convince you to read it...
Northanger Abbey: Everything you could wish for in a novel!
The Most Attractive Leading Man in Austen: I know you think you want Darcy, but do you really want a man who can’t take a joke? How about instead of insulting you at the assembly, he dances with you and makes you laugh! Surveys reveal that “makes me laugh” is a consistently attractive trait in a future spouse. Besides being extraordinarily funny, he also will willingly take you dress shopping, loves his sister, and reads novels. Shall we agree that he is the perfect man?
Most Relatable Leading Lady: Despite having a good education, are you sometimes a little lost in a conversation? Are you reasonably good looking, passably intelligent, and only somewhat accomplished? Catherine Morland is just a normal, everyday girl who stands up against peer pressure and falls head-over-heels in love with a cute guy. If she could be born to be a heroine, than all of us can be!
Villains So Well Drawn You Will Swear you Met Them Yesterday: Have you met a guy who constantly brags about his vehicle, talks without actually saying anything, and who assumes that girls will go for him even though he has nothing to recommend him? I have, and so has Jane Austen, its John Thorpe! Isabella is a classic drama queen who is dating a really sweet nerd but angling for the football star. You knew her in high school, I guarantee it.
Highly quotable one liners:
“I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible.”
“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
“His departure gave Catherine the first experimental conviction that a loss may be sometimes a gain.”
Great life lessons: 
“No man is offended by another man’s admiration of the woman he loves; it is the woman only who can make it a torment.”
“Beware how you give your heart.”
“Our pleasures in this world are always to be paid for.”
and best of all, a passionate defence of reading novels from the Narrator, who continues to be sarcastic and hilarious throughout the novel.
Northanger Abbey, honestly, what’s not to love?
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imogenkol · 2 months ago
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— IF I HAD A HEART
I had the pleasure of commissioning @seancefemme to do this magnificent piece as a birthday gift to myself and I am absolutely blown away!!! In my growing insanity while waiting for s2, I’ve been obsessing over these two as a proper rebel battle couple and this came out better than I could have imagined! The colors and the lighting are just brilliant and their expressions are ready for anything together. I cannot thank you enough! If you get the chance, I highly recommend commissioning her!
tag list (ask to be added or removed!): @adelaidedrubman @socially-awkward-skeleton @neonshrike @inafieldofdaisies @voidika @florbelles @simonxriley @tommyarashikage @buggknife @aceghosts @carlosoliveiraa @risingsh0t @unholymilf @thedeadthree @cassietrn @jackiesarch @d-esmond @loriane-elmuerto @shellibisshe @katsigian @captastra @simplegenius042 @theelderhazelnut @g0dspeeed @strangefable @statichvm @kanos @cptcassian @leviiackrman @greenecreek @euryalex @auricfog @e-the-village-cryptid
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fresh-orange-whispers · 3 months ago
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HEADCANON AND THOUGHTS
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Reposted because I want to add this drawing - yeah I forgot to add it yesterday 😌
After an awesome discussion with one of my friends here, I finally set how my OC and Plo Koon would be.
ONLY MISSING HER NAME! LOL
Although Plo is a Jedi and cannot have attachments strictly according to Jedi teaching, the brotherhood between him and his troopers and the father-daughter relationship with Ahsoka are all evidence of attachment, and he has done nothing detrimental to them or to the overall situation because of these attachments. He only offers positive emotions, unlike those that are destructive and self-consuming.
So here we go.
Choosing between an army doctor and a medical droid researcher/technician is hard and I went with the latter. In the SW universe, most medical tasks are performed by droids. Technicians and researchers seem to contribute much more than real doctors.
So, during a rescue mission, she met Plo Koon and kept in touch with him. The two discussed and shared various issues/opinions related to life, technology, law and humanities. She wasn't force sensitive.
One day, she was invited to Dorin for a seminar. Dorin was a planet that placed great importance on technological development and the rule of law, and her talents were highly valued. Behind all this, it was Plo Koon who recommended her. On Dorin, she saw Plo without his mask for the first time, meditating with the Sages. He took her around the planet and told her all sorts of strange and interesting things there.
During that unforgettable journey, she learnt that Plo was a Jedi - not only a Jedi, but also a member of the Jedi Council, deeply loved and respected. But soon, her worst fear came true: she was won over by his charm and gentle character, so that she fell more and more in love with him. When she asked him how he felt about her, he had to tell her everything about being a Jedi, their mission, what they protected and how their relationship would evolve. He gave her enough patience and time to think about it and let her make the best decision. They chose not to see each other for the time being until she figured out how to handle this matter, and he would accept any decision she made, and no decision would change his feelings for her. During this time, she was not happy for a single day. She eventually came back to him and told him that after much thought, she still wanted to be with him, even if they had to keep their relationship a secret.
Love wasn't supposed to be selfish, she understood that very well since she worked in the medical field, long hours and with dedication, much like the Jedi did. She wouldn't worry about his missions and his absence, nor would he be jealous of her sacrifice to her work, droids and patients. It turned out that it was much easier for two responsible adults to maintain good communication and balance everything in their lives. Plo also started to strengthen his power, knowledge and ability thanks to the positive aspects brought by such precious attachment.
Their secret marriage was later held on Dorin.
Eventually, the CW broke out and Plo Koon left her as a Jedi General for the battlefield. She temporarily gave up her job in the production, repair, and research of medical droids and handed it over to someone she trusted. She resolutely chose to follow the army, first so she could see him, and second so she could provide aid to the wounded on a voluntary basis - her love for life and clones was no less than his. They were supposed to keep their meetings a secret during their free time in the army, but in fact, the 104th Battalion knew of her existence - Wolffe and the others even saw Plo as their father and she, their mother. They just laughed at this idea.
As the war drew to a close, Plo Koon was thinking of retiring and starting a future with her. The day before he left for Cato Neimoidia, he had given himself over to love, to intimacy, to sex - he had given himself over to that with her before, but not to this extent. Days later, Plo crashed and died under fire from his own soldiers during Order 66 massacre. After learning his death and who shot him down, she was heartbroken by the betrayal and left the army.
She later gave birth to the posthumous child of Plo, a force sensitive human-Kel Dor hybrid daughter with the same hair as hers, Kel dorian sensory organs, human facial features, Kel dorian skin color and pattern. As the child grew older, she was ready to tell her of her father's deeds, but the daughter told her: A blue man appeared in my room yesterday and said he was my father. Is this true?
Of course Plo became a force spirit, always guarding her and their daughter. In the end, her daughter became a Jedi and joined the Rebel Alliance.
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wordstome · 1 year ago
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now that we don't talk
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I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost And what it cost Now that we don't talk
alpha colonel König x beta ex-lover reader
2nd person, no y/n, she/her pronouns, reader's callsign is Eden, reader speaks French, omegaverse, exes to lovers, fraternization
2.2k words
tw: none
I swear to God one day I'll write something that doesn't involve that big hooded freak. But today is not that day.
Shoutout to loganlermanstanaccount here on Tumblr, who I won't tag. The bullet point headcanons with written parts interspersed format is from their excellent college roommate Miguel O'Hara post, which became their fic Rigor Mortis. I highly recommend both!
Also, excuse the absolutely butchered military content. I'm sure none of this is how it works in real life, but alas, this is fanfiction, not a research paper. Reader serves a Laswell-like role, but I refrained from labeling her as CIA even though I do call her a station chief. For the purposes of this fic, she's the voice in the operatives' ear during ops. We're playing a bit fast and loose with the terminology here.
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You’re a highly skilled intelligence agent and operative handler.
You’ve spent most of your life dedicated to your career: moving through the ranks, proving yourself, refusing to let anything stand in the way of your ambitions.
You’ve done some things you aren’t proud of, but always for the right reason. Or the reason that made the most cold, logical sense. Even when your heart tells you otherwise. Nobody in this line of work has clean hands, after all.
You’ve always done what needs to be done. For everyone’s best interest.
Today marks the first day of your collaboration with a PMC called KorTac. You’re hunting down a homegrown cult turned out-of-control terrorist cell.
You haven’t had much experience working with mercenaries, but in terms of hardened war criminals, KorTac’s people are quite well mannered.
Not that you had expected them to be rude and discourteous, but, well. You are an outsider. They haven’t necessarily embraced you, but their reception was nice enough.
You’ve got a meeting with their commander, but you can’t quite find the room you’re supposed to be meeting in. Not a great first impression to make, but luckily, someone takes pity on you.
He introduces himself. Korean. Callsign Horangi.
“You’ll get used to the layout of the base,” he says as you follow him through winding hallways.
“I hope so,” you reply. “I’ll be here for a while." You study the walls, the signs and numbers on the doors, trying your best to memorize everything.
"Do you know your commander well?" you ask. You're not the world's biggest fan of small talk, but you may as well know what you're walking into.
"König? Yeah, we've been close ever since he joined up." Horangi says, leading you into a long hallway. "He's a good guy. A little intense, but don't let that get to you. He's just getting the job done."
"We'll get along if he's competent." You can respect a man who forgoes pleasantries for making sure the shit gets shoveled.
"You don't have to worry about that." Horangi stops and holds the door open for you. "After you."
You study him for just a moment before entering the room. He's curt and to the point. Not bad-looking, either. Hopefully you'll get more chances to—
Your heart nearly stops.
KorTac's commander is facing away from the doorway, shuffling through some papers by the looks of it. But you would know him from any angle. The set of his shoulders, the way his stance is at ease but never truly relaxed, the way his hair curls at the nape of his neck.
You have to force yourself to step into the room. And when you do, he turns around.
You're vaguely aware of Horangi stepping around you to get into the room, but that's happening somewhere far away from the headspace you occupy right now. By the way König's eyes widen as they meet yours, he's in the same place too.
He hasn't aged so much as he's gotten more tired. He never did sleep enough, but now he looks like he hasn't gotten a sound night's rest in a long time. He's put-together, but there's a haggardness to him that probably wouldn't be noticeable to anybody but you. Someone who knew him when he was younger, and in the prime of his life. Someone who used to know every scar on his body, every crease of his brow, and now hasn't seen him in more than a decade.
The man who broke your heart stands on the other end of the room, staring at you as if he's seen a ghost.
The two of you stand there for a while before Horangi's voice shakes you back to reality. "Brought the station chief, sir."
"I...see." König—you suppose that's what he calls himself nowadays, the arrogant prick—clears his throat. "Thank you, Hong-jin."
"No problem." Horangi takes a seat. "The others will be in soon."
Horangi seems like a perceptive enough guy. Can he tell that the room feels several degrees colder? You pull a chair out, the furthest one from König's position possible, and ignore the hurt that briefly flashes across his face as you sit down.
The meeting goes well. It's just an opportunity for you to formally introduce yourself to the KorTac operators you'll primarily be working with for the next few months.
You can tell they're a close knit group by the easy way they interact with each other: they've worked together for a while.
König, too, is part of them, which must be how they pick up on the chilly dynamic between the two of you. Some of them are just puzzled. For most of them, it raises their hackles.
It doesn't matter to you. You can barely focus on getting through the meeting without feeling like you're going to faint.
It's absurd. You're not some delicate Regency-era lady. You're a hardened military officer. But it makes no difference.
It doesn't matter how long it's been, it seems. He's still the only one who can make you feel like this.
You can't get out of there fast enough after the meeting has concluded. Not only are the others shooting you suspicious looks, but you've spent too long in his presence. Any longer, and you don't know how you're going to keep your composure.
But you can't escape him. Of course not. Why did you ever think otherwise? You hear him call for you, and you walk faster. But it's futile.
This hallway is smaller, narrower, less open. Nobody's around to watch when he slams you against the wall to stop your hasty retreat. Nobody's around to see the way you sway in his hold, overwhelmed by the smell of him all around you. You're bathed in it, the overpowering presence of him.
"We need to talk." he demands.
"We just did. Meeting's over," you shoot back, making a paltry attempt to wriggle out of his grasp. He loosens his hold on you, but you're still trapped between him and the wall. No exit.
"I didn't plan this, in case you're wondering."
"That much was obvious." He's let his hair grow out longer, you notice at the most inopportune time possible. It suits him, you think.
He sighs in frustration. "If we're going to work together, we have to be civil."
"Don't worry. I wouldn't expose how much of a scoundrel you are in front of your precious squad," you bite.
You feel a twinge of smug satisfaction as regret settles into his expression. Too little, too late.
"I don't want it to be like this, either," he murmurs. "Ignoring and avoiding each other."
"You don't get to tell me how to act."
"You're right. But it's been a long time. Can't we try to get along? Not for my sake, but...yours."
"Well that's not condescending at all."
"That's not what I meant. I know my team. If you're walking around resenting me openly like that, they won't trust you. And they need to, if you're working with us."
He's right, and you know it. But there's that deep instinct inside you, older than your bloodline, waking up after a long slumber. It wants him, snapping at the bit to give into him and do whatever he asks of you. The urge will consume you if you don't fight it every step of the way.
You glare up at him, hoping you come off as brimming with resentment instead of desire. "As long as you and your team stay professional, I can too."
He's not satisfied with that answer, but it's all you're going to give him.
"Fine." He steps away from you, and you pour all your willpower into commanding your body to stay still. To not chase after his closeness. You sway on the spot, dizzy with his scent after having gone so long without it.
"This hallway is a dead end, by the way."
You try, you really do. But it's hard to be around him without feeling the urge to touch him, to press yourself against him and inhale him like the most destructive drug possible.
Your only recourse is to stay as physically far away from him as possible.
You do your best to ingratiate yourself with the other operators. You and Calisto are fast friends: she's got a breezy confidence to her that's quite refreshing. It also doesn't hurt that you speak French, as well. There's a bit of kinship felt whenever the two of you are holding a conversation none of the others can understand.
Horangi's a different story, though. The initial courtesy he showed you is a bit more clipped, now that it's clear something is up between you and König.
You can't believe you missed it the first time, the way König's smell is all over him. It really has been too long.
The two of them must be pretty close. You give up trying not to fixate on the idea.
You didn't mean to eavesdrop on them, but you were curious. Even more curious when you hear your name mentioned.
"It's pretty clear you and Eden know each other. None of us are stupid."
You freeze in your tracks. The door is closed, but you can hear Horangi's voice, loud and clear in the room behind it.
"It's not relevant. She's just here to do a job."
"I think it's pretty relevant that she gets up and leaves whenever you enter a room, regardless of what she's doing. She can't get away from you fast enough."
You give a surreptitious look at your surroundings, then lean down slightly, pressing your ear to the door.
"You're not going to give this up, are you?"
"Hell fucking no."
You hear König sigh. "Fine. We knew each other before I joined KorTac. Back when I was in the Jagdkommando."
Do you want to hear this? Your painful history, relayed to a near stranger? Horangi's not a stranger to him, that's for sure.
"And?"
"We were...involved."
"You and a beta? Never took you for the type."
"Well, neither did I. But she was...special. Smart, pretty, deadeye with a knife. Wouldn't give me the time of day, of course. I was obsessed with her."
"Naturally."
"Give me a fucking break, okay?"
"Can't wait to hear how this ended."
"Not...great. I was a total dick."
You can say that again, you think.
"I was young. Real dumbass who thought he was hot shit."
"You still aren't."
"Shut the fuck up." Something twinges inside you at the hearty laughter the two of them share. You missed that laugh.
"Despite everything, it was the most stable relationship I've ever been in. We looked out for each other. She knew me better than some of my family does."
"How did you fuck that up, then?"
"I got too comfortable. Started thinking I could do better. God, what a fucking idiot I was. I loved her like crazy, but I didn't realize how good I had it until it was gone."
"She left you?"
"No. I was the one who ended things. In the worst way possible, too. I told her the relationship wasn't going to go anywhere, that we were never going to be a serious thing."
"Ouch. Why not?"
You squeeze your eyes shut. You remember that night, like a shard of glass buried in your chest. As hard as you tried to forget, you'll never forget the way you felt. Like the world was ending.
You'll never forget the decision you had to make.
"I told her I couldn't see myself with a beta long-term."
"...that's fucked up."
"I know. I know. I was too caught up in that shitty macho alpha mindset. I was fucking ravenous back then, and I thought only an omega could give me what I needed."
"I get it now. If I were her, I would have quit on the spot seeing you in that meeting room."
"Yeah. She's a better person than I can ever imagine being."
Well. It's nice to know he regrets it, you think. Not that it does you much good now. Quiet as a mouse, you make a quick exit before you can get caught.
You make it back to the the room you've been assigned to. They were nice enough to give you your own private quarters, something you deeply appreciate when you need to be alone with your own thoughts. Like right now.
It's a strange feeling, to sort of get closure like this. Not at the end, but at the beginning of something new. You still have to see each other. Does it help that you know how he feels? Maybe, but it doesn't ease your own guilt. In fact, it makes it worse.
You're not mad at him for telling Horangi. You're glad he did, actually. There are some secrets that cause more harm to keep than not.
You open a drawer and pull out the pill bottle, hidden underneath your other possessions, and stare at the label.
WARNING - SUPPRESSANTS. NOT TO BE USED BY ALPHAS. ONLY CONSUME UNDER PHYSICIAN SUPERVISION.
You would know.
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BOOM! There you have it. (In case it wasn't clear, the suppressants are for omegas.)
@sprout-fics's omegaverse 141 headcanons series inspired me to write something based off the idea of an omega disguising themselves as a beta in the military. Please check out her series, it's great.
I was really into exploring how omegaverse dynamics can make complicated relationships even messier. I did consider writing this story without the omegaverse, but I think now it's kind of an essential element. (I also just. Want them to have crazy nasty omegaverse sex. Sue me) I can't picture König ever breaking up with someone he deeply loved and was obsessed with, unless he had a reason like that. Still not a great reason, but a little bit understandable. Eden being a disguised omega also adds a bit of spice to the exes-to-lovers arc, too: she could have just come out and told him she's not actually a beta, but she chose not to for the sake of her career. Oof. Ruthless judgement calls were made on both sides.
I put this out because this idea had me in a STRANGLEHOLD, and I just had to get it out before I burst. Hopefully my writing's still up to par 😅 As for Kingdom Come, part iii may take a little while longer because a lot is going to happen in it, so I hope this can tide you guys over until then.
As usual, comments and feedback are always appreciated! I would love to talk about this au more. And again, if you'd like to be tagged, drop a reply. And if you're in the taglist and would like to be removed/only tagged for Kingdom Come, please let me know!
@crowbird @poohkie90 @cumikering @iytatsworld @papaver-decervicatus @anxietyrain @riotakire @ax0lotly @cookiepie111 @kacchasu @no1runawaymilkdad @chthonian-spectre @backwards-readings @yxllowtxpe @garbau @hexqueensupreme @queenthorin1 @violetstyless @her-majesty-theking @vegan-peppermint @peonytarian @ghostslittlegf @euuuuuuun @e1x03 @kokonoiwife @deaddainish @dragonfang @teehee-47 @catluvwr @keiva1000 @waves-against-a-cliff @channelsoph @cutiecusp @itsagrimm @dins-riduur-anthe @mantishymns @lexuria
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