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youaremysamshine · 4 years ago

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So I wrote a thing! A whole thing! If you want to read some mostly-angst about Sam’s feelings directly post-Gadreel, then maybe think about reading this? I’ve posted it below and on AO3.

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Sam is reeling after he has kicked Gadreel out. He never wants to lose time again - unfortunately, his body needs sleep.

Post 9.10 "Road Trip"

----- The first night is easy. Tired as Sam is, the fear and pain and disorientation far outweigh any exhaustion, and despite promising Cas he’ll try to get some rest, he never considers actually going to sleep. The idea is absurd. So yes, on the first night it’s almost effortless to avoid sleep.

The next day isn’t extremely hard, either - in terms of staying awake, that is. It’s plenty hard in other ways, of course, but a staple of Sam’s life has been the sleep deprivation, and he is well practiced in functioning on precious little. He can act awake well, and any slips are easily chalked up to his recovery from the events of the past… however long.

But Cas has now spent time being human, and so notices - where previously he might not have - that Sam needs sleep. And after his prompts have been shrugged off several times by Sam - “It’s only 10, it’s not that late...”, ��Yes, Cas, after I finish this chapter…”, “Yeah, I’ll just have a bite to eat first…” - Cas all but leads Sam to his bedroom and tells him to sleep. Now.

Sam acquiesces to this command, knowing Cas won’t let it rest if he does not, but again, he still has no intention of falling into unconsciousness. The idea of sleep is terrifying. He can’t. He’s well aware his body wants to - his eyes are sore and he has been frequently yawning for the past hour - but he will not give in. Not today.

He picks up another book from his own shelves - the one he had been reading in the library had been left behind when Cas had shepherded him to his room - and settles down in his chair to read. Okay, he might be needing to reread each sentence to take in the meaning, and yes, he did just spend several minutes wondering if queue was really a word, but no, he won’t yield, this is still far better than-

He startles, jerking forward, bashing his abdomen against the desk. The book has fallen out of his hands, the noise waking him up from his split-second nap.

Alright, he concedes. I’ll just take a short break.

He sets his phone timer for fifteen minutes. Then ten. Then five. Then ten again. He lies down and shuts his eyes, but immediately gets up again, pacing the room. He cannot do this. He sits down at the desk again, not bothering to pick up the book this time, tapping his fingers anxiously against the wood. He can barely think, he’s so tired.

Go back to bed, set your timer. Lie down, just stay there. Wait. It’s only ten minutes. It’s fine, Sam. Just ten minutes. The timer goes off, quicker than he had expected, and he resets it. This will work, this might actually work. He had changed into his pyjamas earlier to placate Cas, and is pleased with the comfort that they afford him now. His eyes close, his body relaxes, finally getting the rest it deserves.

BEEP. A brief moment of panic checking where he is, that the time is right, but relief soon follows. He resets the timer. He falls back to sleep.

BEEP. Frustration at being woken up. Relief that he has woken up. Resetting the alarm.

Sleep. BEEP. Repeat. Sleep. BEEP. Repeat. Unconventional, but effective. Sam sleeps. He sleeps well.

And then suddenly Kevin is there, looking at him trustingly until his eyes burn out and he no longer can and Sam is painfully wrenched back into wakefulness, the name of the boy falling from his lips as his eyes fly open. He scrambles for his phone.

4:32

It’s 4:32. It should be 2:15. He is certain he’d last restarted his alarm at 2:05. He had been checking each time, paying close attention because he needs to know.

Oh God, 4:32. That’s two whole hours. Fuck. Anything could have happened in two hours. He can’t -- He needs --

Cas. Shit.

In a blind panic he races for the door, turning into the corridor at high speed, his hunter reflexes being the only thing that stops him from hurtling straight into the man he wanted to find.

“Sam?” Cas’ voice is laced with concern, his eyebrows furrowed as he looks at Sam. But, importantly, he’s still here, still alive, nothing has happened to him.

“I just…” Sam trails off. Now that he knows Cas is alright, the need to see him has completely changed into a desire to get away, be anywhere else. Cas’s penetrating gaze and worry is not what Sam wants right now. “Toilet,” he finishes lamely, and sidesteps Cas to head to the bunker’s restrooms.

“Sam, I know you aren’t okay.” Castiel’s deep voice follows Sam down the corridor as surely as the angel does himself. Sam ducks into a cubicle and locks the door, hoping Cas will get the hint.

“Sam?”

A deep breath. Closed eyes. He pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I’m fine.”

He can almost feel Cas’s skepticism about that statement. “I highly doubt that, Sam. Let me help.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Sam, I sensed you distress from-” “I don’t WANT you here, Cas!” Even as he says it, he hates himself a little bit more. Cas is just being kind, far more of a good friend than Sam deserves, but right now Sam just can’t stand it. “Let me shit in peace, please,” he adds for good measure.

Footsteps, and Cas’s presence disappears. When Sam makes his way back to his room, he does not see Cas. He’ll apologize tomorrow.

4:44. Three fours. Huh, Good job it isn’t three sixes right? But you can’t get three sixes on a clock, Sam. Unless you count in military.. miltry.. mil-i-ta-ry time? No, don’t be stupid. That only goes up to twenty-two - no, wait, twenty-four? But does it ever reach twenty-four… Oh, crap, I really, really need to sleep.

4:45. Only one more hour until. Until what? He was going to say until he can get up, or at least, pretend to get up, and go about yet another normal day, no longer needing to feign sleep. But it hits him now that he’s still going to be bone-tired.

He wonders at how he has missed this great, big, obvious fact. He’s been so caught up in avoiding sleep right here, right now, every single minute, that he’s lost the bigger picture. How long can he carry this on for? The rest of tomorrow? Until Wednesday? But he’ll have to stop at some point.

This is too big, too awful, for him to contemplate right now. No, right now he does not need to sleep. And he can continue doing that. Saying no. He’s good at saying no. He just needs to keep on, just keep on, Sam.

The next hour goes as slowly as the last two had gone quickly. Eventually he judges it a suitable time to leave for the kitchen to get coffee. He’s thought of how to apologize to Cas, reworded it several times, a good distraction from anything else in his head.

The kitchen is empty. He still stops every yawn, stifles every urge to rub his eyes. Cas will not get a chance to send him back to bed. The coffee helps, a little, and the second one even more. Cas walks in as he is sipping his third. Sam can’t read his expression. He instinctively lowers his eyes, looks away from Cas, then realises this could be seen as rude, and looks up again. He doesn’t want to hurt Cas more.

“Hey, Cas.”

“Good morning Sam. Did you sleep?”

Sam notices that Cas missed off the “well” that usually accompanies the end of that question. Cas really knows him.

“Yeah, thanks.” It isn’t exactly a lie. Sam is fairly certain he had fallen asleep for those two hours, and that has to count for something, right? He quickly plunges on, needing to put the apology out there as soon as possible, and ends up stumbling over his words in his haste.

“Look, Cas, erm- I’m really sorry about pushing you off last night. I’m not really sure why I acted like that but yeah, it was- I shouldn’t have.”

“Thank you, Sam,” Cas replies simply. “I was worried - and I was wondering if this morning you might be wanting me to leave properly, to give you your space.”

“What? No!” Sam stands up, needing to ensure Cas does not think that necessary. “No, that’s not at all what I… Well, I mean,” he bites his tongue and thinks about his words. “If you want to go, of course, I don’t want to be the thing that stops you, but no. I was just tired and, well, like you said, not okay last night. I want you to stay here, of course I do - that is, if you want to stay here?” He’s looking at Cas cautiously, hopefully, but is suddenly convinced that of course Cas will leave, everybody leaves.

“My wish is to stay here with you,” Cas says. Sam lets out an involuntary sigh of relief.

“You look surprised,” Cas comments. Sam is taken aback at how easily Cas can read him.

“Yeah, no - I… You don’t need to, like, look after me, or anything. And I was horrible to you last night.”

Cas frowns. “But I want to look after you, Sam Winchester. You’ve suffered a great deal and that needs to be put to rights. I am your friend. As for last night - I understand that you were tired; you have now apologised, and it is forgotten.”

Sam stares and nods his head, a little unsure how to react to Cas’s words. “Thank you,” he manages to say, quietly, and Cas’s gentle smile suggests that he might be aware of everything else Sam means beyond the two words.

Cas walks slowly towards Sam, raising his arms somewhat awkwardly. “If you would like,” he says, “the hug we shared yesterday was rather comforting, and I would like to give you that again.”

Unbidden, Sam’s mind snaps back to their first meeting. “The boy with the demon blood,” Cas had called him, then. He marvels at how far Cas has fallen, to be here, now, with him, but selfishly he closes the gap, and allows himself to be hugged. It’s the best he’s felt in a long while.

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A second part may happen but probably not. Subscribe over on AO3 if you’re feeling lucky :P

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lauramkaye · 4 years ago

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Invisible Writing: or, I’m Still Here!

So recently someone wrote me a really sweet and much appreciated feedback email. It really made my day, but one line of it kind of took me aback - they said something like “since you aren’t very active anymore” (or it might have been “since you aren’t posting much anymore” or something like that.)

And I was like... what? what are you talking about, I’m writing all the time? I mean, there were a few months when I didn’t do anything but work OT because of COVID but other than that??

And then I thought some more about what I’ve been working on recently and I realized what’s happened: I’ve been writing a ton, I just haven’t FINISHED much in a while, because all my stuff in progress is long.

I haven’t posted anything yet in 2020. I posted four things in 2019:

A Little World Made Cunningly (just under 50,000 words, posted in chapters from November 2018 to February 2019)

Love Vaster than Empires, Chapter 1 (just under 10,000 words, posted April 2019)

My Heart In Hiding, Chapter 13 (just under 25,000 words, posted September 2019)

Love of a Particular Kind (just under 60,000 words, posted in chapters from August 2019 to October 2019.)

So, I can see where it looks like I haven’t done anything for nearly a year! But that’s because most of what I’ve been writing is on novel or novella-length stories.

A brief digression about my personal philosophy of works in progress: in general, I don’t start posting a work until the first draft is finished. Then I post it either after beta and revisions are done (one-shots), or chapter by chapter as I finish beta and revisions for each chapter (multi-chaptered works.) The only exceptions to this are My Heart In Hiding and Love Vaster Than Empires. My Heart In Hiding is plotted and outlined at a high level but it’s so long I’m posting it as a serialized novel; fine points in the story and in the outline change as I actually write the chapters and see how the high-level ideas work out in practice. Love Vaster Than Empires, like All Our Strength and All Our Sweetness before it, is more of a short story anthology than a single work, and I chose to publish those as chaptered works instead of single ones mostly for convenience. Pretty much anything else I write, I don’t start posting it until I know I have a complete draft done, because that way I know I’m more likely to be able to post chapters relatively regularly, since editing is generally a more predictable process for me than drafting.

Anyway, if you’ve been wondering if I’ve stopped writing fic or whatever (or just when I might post again), here is a list of the stuff I have going (this is only stuff that is both at least partially written and that I’m more or less actively working on currently. There’s more in various stages of planning.)

At the Turning of the Tide: Clint is a vampire. Phil doesn’t know. They are stupid in love and pining. Will they work something out? (I mean, I’m writing it, so duh, of course they will.) About 20K. First draft complete, currently in beta. Will probably be the first in a series because I have prequel and sequel ideas already. This will likely be the next thing I post.

Bonus snippet: He thought of it sometimes, of saying sure, I was an English longbowman and I died at Agincourt, but then I woke up again and a French swordsman kept me in thrall until I put an arrow through his heart and ran away. Or yeah, you guessed it, we’re pretty sure Nat’s immortal, there was this thing with Rasputin one time, my blood was involved, it was a whole big thing.

Love Vaster Than Empires, Chapter 2: Phil gets Clint a Valentine’s Day surprise. (It is a surprise that Phil wears. Yes, a sexy surprise.) 10K and counting, currently being drafted. Probably next in the queue after the vamp story posts. Maybe 3/4 done.

Bonus snippet: “I’d honestly thought I had to choose,” he said. “That I was being greedy, hoping to find someone who could… fit, with all the different parts of my life. Did I really think that I could find a partner who could put up with the job and be compatible with my personality and who would also have complimentary sexual needs? I might as well wish for Captain America to rise from the bottom of the ocean and tell me he’s always dreamed of dating an older man with a ridiculous schedule and a closet full of sex toys.”

Rise the Same and Prove Mysterious: This is the modern fantasy AU novel where Phil is a dragon and Clint is a sorcerer, and they are charged with undergoing a year of magical rituals to form a permanent bond that will enable them to anchor a casting circle for SHIELD. Currently just under 30k, being drafted. I’m probably about 25% done with this one at most so it’ll be a while.

Bonus snippet: “Wow,” he said. “You’re really pretty as a dragon.” Then he realized what he’d just said. “I mean, um. Handsome? Um, deadly? Sorry, I didn’t mean to be insulting or anything.” Phil really was pretty, though, all sharp and gleam and sinuous grace, his scales a thousand subtle shades of black and gray and midnight blue, with an iridescent sheen on his wings like spilled oil. Clint kind of wanted to pet him.

Another one, from Phil’s POV: “I caught you a fish,” Phil blurted, holding it out. It didn’t seem like much, all of a sudden, not in the face of the cozy little nest—damn it, lair—that Clint had made while he was gone. He should have caught him a bighorn sheep, or a deer. Maybe a moose. Would Clint like a moose? He could go get one. Moose was a little tough, though. Better braised, and they didn’t really have any way to do that. “I mean, I can get you something else. If you don’t like it.”

And Still The Sun: this is actually the third story in the series that started with All Our Strength and All Our Sweetness. Unlike the first two, this is one long chaptered story, and it is the post-Avengers fix-it story for this universe, where instead of using Kree blood, Fury asks Tony to consult and they wind up saving Phil using Extremis. Currently around 25k, but it’s going to be novel-length when it’s done because I have Ideas about how a Clint and Phil who were in a long-established, thriving kinky relationship would recover after the whole Loki/TAHITI thing. Also featuring lots of Fury, Natasha, and Tony friendship stuff and SO MANY PHEELS.

Bonus Snippet: Clint stroked Phil’s torso through the thin cotton gown, feeling electrodes and wires and the bumps of his ribs. His throat ached at the evidence of how thin Phil had gotten, and his eyes stung. He turned his face into Phil’s side and breathed deep, because Phil smelled like… well, like someone who had been more or less killed and then cryogenically frozen for over a month and then nearly exploded from experimental nanobots, actually, but Clint knew what death smelled like, and Phil didn’t smell like death. Clint would take any amount of mad-science-hospital-char-stink over that.

#fanfic writing #Fic writer's problems #PHLINT

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cosmiclatte28 · 4 years ago

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Fate and Destiny (Kai x you, soulmate au!)

Short fic of KAI X YOU!

soulmate AU!

-- enjoy --

Ever since your seventeenth birthday, you notice something wrong with your body. Now it was not pimple, nor wrinkles, and not any other puberty stuffs. You wake up to random bruises and scratches on your skin. You’re pretty sure you never have a bruise on your knee when you go to bed last night, but oh well you almost broke your cup of cocoa this morning when you saw your reflection on the mirror. You’re not a clumsy person who might stub their knee upon going to bed, nor falling off a stair. That being the reason why you’re always creeped up when you found yet another fresh bruise on your skins.

You decided to shrug it off since there was no pain or bothering sensation there. It’s only annoying to see a fresh new bruise. You shake your head and head to change your clothes to get ready for a class.

The scorching heat in summer makes it impossible for you to wear a training pants just to cover the bruise, no you’ll need a pair of shorts for the sake of your sanity. You prepare your heart as you head out your small rented apartment room, today will be a long day.

Sure enough five minutes into the building, your friends are all questioning you where did you get your bruise.

“Did you fall from the stairs? Again?”

“You must be kidding, that is a nasty bruise… you probably fell when you sleepwalk … you sure you’re okay?”

“Oh admit it.. do you have a rough night with someone?” one of your friend winked

You roll your eyes, you live alone. There was no way someone caused this.

“I live alone okay, and I do not have any abusive boyfriend… let alone a boyfriend. You know I’m single.” You said while taking your favorite seat.

Lecture went well and so is life.

It was not until your 20th birthday when you finally found the answer to your surprising bruises and scars. You discover the truth after meeting a specialist who told you “That is a special sign from your soulmate! Different people have different signs for finding their soulmates. It will begin from your 17th birthday until the day you meet your soulmate!”

You don’t want to believe her at first, thinking this $200 session was a scam, you decided to surf the internet and look for people who have the same symptoms as yours.

Turns out there were many people like you out there who’s looking for their soulmates too. One thing for sure caught your attention that there is a website for you to look for your soulmate. Because he or she might be on the other side of the hemisphere. And that significant others of yours, might have different signs to find you.

You chose to make a move and signed up for an account. Every day you post the pictures of the bruises and scars, with some glint of hope a random clumsy person will finally find you and maybe the two of you can work it out and you’re finally free from the random bruises.

For one and a half year you posted pictures and went to meet several people who thought you’re their soulmates. But until today, you still wake up to more random bruises. Gosh just how abusive is this significant others of yours living with?!

You bare with the situation until one day, you’re attending a concert. A SuperM concert in LA.

You were going through the concert like any other fans and right as you queue yourself to leave the venue, someone actually tapped your shoulder and asked you politely to follow them.

You’re confused but you decided to follow him and he brings you to a room. Feeling nervous, you fiddle with the small tattoo you’ve also had since born! Yeah you also struggle with that small rose tattoo on your inner wrist. Your teachers always thought your parents were crazy in letting their child have a tattoo before her legal age. But truth is you’re born with it. You used to hide it with bandages, watches, bracelets, and long sleeves. However, as you age, you can finally show it to the world like it is a tattoo done in an expensive professional parlor. Why? Because damn those thin lines engraving rose on your skin are very exquisite. A lot of people asked you where did you get such a beautiful job done.

You wait in the room nervously, did they caught you for don’t know maybe you unknowingly threw a glance to the members and they feel violated… or maybe someone reported you of something.

“Sorry to take your time,” A breath-taking man stood in front of you. You shoot your head from your palm to the man across you. He still has his make ups and stage hair on, only that his clothes are changed to a comfortable tee shirt.

“You probably have tons of questions in your head, but please let me just make this quick.” He goes forward to you and suddenly takes your left hand, he softly turns your hand to face up and a big smile appears on his face.

“This!” He wiped his thumb over the glowing tattoo, hey since when did it glow?

Your eyes widen as your brain tries to process the situation.

“No way,” you gasp and you glance one more time to his wrist and yours. There located on the same exact position, the same glowing tattoo.

“Kai?!” you exclaimed in surprise. Is Kai your soulmate!!!!

“You… gosh now that explains all of the bruises!” you raise your hand to make a “mind blown” action with your hands.

Kai giggles, “What did I do to you?”

“You make it hard for me to wake up with random bruises on my body! I almost thought my soulmate lives with someone abusive! Turns out it was you and your hard work…” you giggled.

“Whoop I’m sorry, yes I have a lot of bruises and scars from the dance practices… but I’m glad I finally found you! You did not know how hard was it for me to hide this tattoo when I go to school and the fans! Gosh they all knew about this and made a matching one!” kai frustratedly speaks his heart out.

“Well are you sure I’m the one?” you ask after hearing his reasoning.

Kai smiles softly and reaches for your hands, “Because I’ve met lots of girls who tried to fake the tattoo and whenever I saw that mark during fan signs, I knew it’s different. No one can make this perfect mark! Plus I’ve never seen any unusual thing until tonight. Amidst the darkness and the crowds, when you raise your light stick and I happen to pass by you. That’s when I saw your rose glows and quickly I checked mine,” he turns his wrist over and mine too.

“See, when I meet the true owner the rose will glow. Then there’s this I don’t know tingling sensation … don’t you?” Kai cocks his head

A crisp laugh erupts between you two, “Kai I’m going here to attend a concert of my favorite band … of course I’m nervous and excited. The butterflies in my stomach is crazy right now, moreover you came here and told me I am your soul mate.”

“You know… I’ve traveled around the world, meet different people and finally! Finally I found you!” Kai holds your hands tighter

“So, would you like to know me more or am I going to leave like nothing happened?” You tease him.

“Not so fast miss, Tell me how does wine and cheese sounds to you?” Kai smirks

“That’s an okay from me,” You smile politely

“Great! Wait for me here, what’s your name?” he asked before leaving the door to change his attire.

You raise your head to face him, “(y/n)… nice to finally meet you mr bruises and scars.” You taunt at him

He laughs, knowing he will love you, “Great miss rose. Let me grab my things and I’ll come back here.”

You sit down when the door closes and you let our a small squeal. Your soul mate happens to be Kai… you don’t know you’re this lucky.

After all, fate and destiny did bring the two of you together. He traveled around the world, saw a lot of girls with that artificial rose, but amidst all of that he did find you, the real owner of the rose mark. And you, you’ll finally live in peace without worrying any more bruises!

Life is great and love is magical.

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katieskarlette · 4 years ago

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I try to keep this blog a positive place, but this is a rant post.

Apparently hitting 60 turns fire mages into cotton candy. Look at us wrong and we collapse.

While leveling I’d been able to handle two or three mobs at once fairly well, especially if one was able to be polymorphed. Now I’m struggling to take down one, and two is pretty much a death sentence if there aren’t other people around to help kill them.

It got so frustrating that after I dinged 60 I took the next day off from the game completely, thinking I was just burned out from three days of leveling marathons. Then yesterday I logged back in with what I thought was the right attitude: “Okay, I have to play more conservatively until I upgrade my gear. Don’t overpull, use cooldowns, make sure I’m fully buffed, be careful. I’ll die sometimes but it’s all right.” I died so many times. I had rez timers of over a minute. My gear didn’t break because I repaired with my yak after every two or three deaths, but it was not fun at all. I’m supposed to be this big damn hero, and I die to a single giant bug? Seriously?

It’s not like I don’t know how to play a glass cannon. I’ve played a mage since vanilla. But this isn’t a matter of strategy or adjusting playstyle. This is a case of simply not having the damage and survivability to kill a mob or two before my HP reaches zero unless I use all my cooldowns (except Time Warp.) It reminds me of early WoD, when I was so squishy I was afraid to leave my garrison.

Yesterday I had a few small intro quests in the Maw, and died several times--losing some of the stygia I needed to collect each time. And I was right on top of an herb, fighting multiple mobs that eventually killed me, when a player riding a druid dashed up and they both harvested the herb right under me. By the time I died and ran back it had despawned. What a dick move. Seriously. Fuck you, random druid and passenger.

I got in a raid group for a rare elite in far western Ardenweald, some kind of Drust monster using the yeti/gorilla skeleton...can’t remember the name. Anyway, I died twice during the boss fight, and he didn’t drop the mount so it was a waste of time in more ways than one.

Then I got to a world quest in Bastion. It’s the one where you get timeshifted back to the battle against the Void, and you have to close void portals. Well, it was bugged so some of the portals ended up with a huge crowd of voidwalkers clustered around them. They were so packed in there I couldn’t even count them all, but it was way more than the three that are supposed to be there. So I tried to work around those, but the mobs are so densely packed in that area that you have to fight for every yard of movement. Then you get to a non-bugged portal and of course there’s competition, and nobody else seemed to care about helping or cooperating. Several times I died trying to click the damn portal before someone else did and it despawned. I had died seven times by the time I got credit for a single portal closed.

I exploded. It’s the most upset I’ve been with WoW in a long time. I loudly swore a blue streak, ripped my headphones off, and paced around the house with eyes full of tears for awhile. Granted, PMS made my reaction more extreme than it would have been otherwise, but the frustration was very real.

When I calmed down a bit and went back to rez yet again I found a hunter nearby who was friendly, and by picking up the kyrian weapons on the ground and using them simultaneously we managed to clear out one of the bugged portals. We worked together to finish the quest, and out of gratitude I stuck around to help him get the last portal he needed, too. I “only” died once with him around, but without Cauterize and Ice Block it would have been twice.

I could have given up, but the quest reward was a juicy, ilvl 148 trinket with +33 crit that I really, really needed.

After that I took a shower, had a snack, watched my fish, and then logged onto my death knight to work on her class hall quests from Legion. I’d never progressed past the point where they started asking for dungeon runs, because I generally don’t do non-timewalking dungeons on my alts out of shyness and insecurity about my ability to play “properly.” I wasn’t sure with the level squish how it would go, but Vallkyrie easily soloed normal Neltharion’s Lair and Darkheart Thicket. I recruited Whitemane for the Horsemen, too. That was fun!

Then I went back to Skarlette but took her to Mechagon for only the second or third time ever to chip away at Rustbolt rep, since that’s the only thing keeping me from flying in BFA. I died twice in five minutes. At level 60. To mostly level 50 mobs, although for some reason one scaled to 60. And the 50s did include at least one elite. But still. WTF.

So yeah. I’ll probably have to sit and fish in Ardenweald and chain-queue dungeons until I get geared enough to handle open world content. I haven’t set foot in any of the dungeons yet, partly because I was just swept along with the story while leveling, and partly because of aforementioned anxiety.

Hopefully I’ll start having fun again when I get better gear. My ilvl is 142, but it would be higher if I could find another crit trinket. I have much higher ilvl trinkets than the 108 one I have equipped, but none of them have crit on them. I might have to bite the bullet and give up the crit in favor of more stamina, though. My repair bills have been painful.

P.S. I’m not ready to make a negativity tag for Shadowlands yet. I had #faillords of draenor and #bummer for azeroth, but I never needed a negativity tag for Legion, and I’m hoping despite this rant I don’t need one for Shadowlands. We’ll see.

#rambling about wow #negativity ahoy #skarlette in shadowlands

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padfootagain · 5 years ago

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More Than Coffee

Part 1: Wrong Cup

And here we go again! One more series, as if I didn't have enough of those already. But in my defence, I have none for Richard so…

This is pure, absolute cuteness. You are warned. It's just gonna be so bloody hella cute. I hope you all like this!!!!

Also, this is my first series for Richard, and before that I only wrote a hc, which is quite different from writing a full-on fic, so please, tell me if I do good with this and if you like it or not :)

Gif not mine

Word Count : 2679

It was raining hard in Glasgow and you were completely drenched. It had been the same weather for an entire week. You promised yourself that one day, you would move to a warmer country.

Spain? Italy? Australia? As long as there was a warm sun above your head it was perfect for you.

But at that moment, you were stuck in this shitty weather.

You hurried towards the Starbucks you went to every morning, partly because you were seeking shelter from the rain, partly because you were almost late for work. Luckily for you, you worked in the world of research, which meant that your boss was not strict and wouldn’t tell you anything if you were ten minutes late. As long as the job was done, no one gave a damn about when you arrived or left. It was an advantage to everyone, really. If you overslept one morning, you would not fear to be fired. If you worked till 9 pm at the lab, you would not be paid more than if you had come home at a decent hour. Research was that kind of world that was both fair and quite unfair too. But still, you hated to be late anywhere.

There weren’t too many people in the coffeeshop, and you expertly evaluated how long you would have to wait. No more than ten minutes at the most. Perfect. You would be at work right on time.

You joined the queue and patiently waited to pass your order. You took the same every day, actually, and you didn’t doubt that the lovely Mary on the other side of the counter would not even need you to speak the words to start preparing your favourite coffee.

At least now, you were not under the frozen rain, it was warm and smelled the nice and soothing fragrance of coffee, chocolate and sugar that was so recognizable to Starbucks coffeeshops. You guiltily eyed at the chocolate muffins on display, even if you weren’t hungry. You shook a little bit of rain off your coat, the wooden ground already covered by a thin layer of water anyway.

You got distracted by your phone for the rest of your waiting, failing to acknowledge anything around you for a few minutes, until you finally reached the counter and Mary announced your order before you could even say hello, as usual. What was less usual though, was that Mary leaned above the wooden surface to whisper to you.

"Be discreet, but the guy right behind you just can't keep his eyes off of you."

You rolled your eyes in response.

"You're being ridiculous."

"I'm not. He's been staring. And he's hot. Do you hear me? Like real hot!"

"Mary…"

"I'm not kidding! And you're single! It would be a sin to not try something!"

"Could you just make me a coffee, please? I'm very late."

"Fine… as you wish."

She seemed to drop the subject, and you didn't know if it was because she was saving it for later, or because she couldn't keep so many people behind you waiting. Indeed, the coffeeshop had grown much fuller in the span of the last ten minutes or so. And as you turned around to evaluate how crowded the place had become, your eyes passed over the stranger Mary was referring to. You intentionally didn't rest your gaze on him though, as you merely wanted to assess the truth in your friend's statements. And you were ready to admit that she was probably right on two points:

a) he was probably staring at you,

b) he was hot.

Dark brown hair that in the light of the shop wore shy ginger hints and that even if cut quite short seemed curly, a stubble to colour his cheeks, two blue eyes that seemed to be piercing your soul and you guessed a very square jaw despite how fast your eyes travelled across his features. His face felt familiar, for some reason. You guessed that you might have come across him before in the coffeeshop.

You paid for the coffee while he passed his order. You noticed his long dark coat and the nice navy-blue shirt under it.

You pushed the thought away though. First because Mary was most likely to have been inventing things. Then because you didn't need to get your hopes high for a man who, by the look him, seemed out of your league. And finally, because your life was complicated enough with your work, and having to deal with any part of a romance was probably the last thing you needed at the moment. A thought of all the work that awaited you today crossed your mind and you shivered at the very thought…

Two experiments to plan and carry on, one sample to characterize under electron spectroscopy and conductivity measurements, and you still had this presentation to finish for your team meeting for the next day… which meant some data to take care of too.

You heaved a tired sigh. But at least, you had found a second post-doc after your PhD. This contract was to carry your research at the University of Glasgow for two full years, you even had a little bit of teaching to do, which was always good to put on a CV. And it also brought food on the table for two full years. What would you do after that? Look for another post-doc, you guessed. You doubted that you would find a job as a researcher with only two post-docs. More and more experience was required these days…

Your name being called broke your train of thoughts, and as you advanced to get your cup, you didn't notice Mary whispering in her colleague's ear, nor the fact that the handsome stranger was waiting for his own order right next to you.

You checked the time on your watch. You needed to hurry or you wouldn't leave work before diner time again.

You grabbed the cup that was handed to you with a hopefully joyful 'thank you, have a nice day' and without much thought, you took a sip at the hot beverage…

But it was definitely not your usual Caramel Macchiato.

You frowned down at your cup, and turned back, colliding with… the handsome stranger as he was making his way to the door as well.

Brilliant…

By some miracle, you didn't spill any coffee on him and he didn't drop his entire cup onto you either.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You alright?" he asked with a suave Scottish accent oozing from not only his voice but every fibre of his being now that you took a closer look at him.

You had been right about the jaw too, you noticed. You had been right that he was most definitely your type. And he was without a doubt out of your league.

"Yeah… hmm… sorry. My bad. I stopped quite abruptly," you answered with a shrug and a rather nervous chuckle.

He kept on staring at you for a while, a smile slowly forming on his lips, until he caught himself gazing dreamily at you and shook himself, blush creeping up his cheeks.

You finally detached your eyes from his -as you had been staring too… - and you both exchanged an uncomfortable chuckle as he ran a hand through his wet hair, little droplets of water caught at the tip of the white curl that partly fell before his eyes.

You looked away in a hurry. Because you noticing this kind of tiny details was not good at all. Not at all…

You looked for something to rest your eyes upon, anything, anything at all… Ha! His cup was perfect.

And that was how you noticed that the name written on the cup he was holding was actually… yours…

You couldn't stop your jaw from clenching. Of course, Mary was hilarious, changing the cups… or more precisely, asking her colleague to do so.

"I think you have my coffee, actually," you said with a more relaxed smile. "I was about to go back to tell them they had done the wrong order, but it looks like they just handed me the wrong cup."

He looked at the name written in black on the white cardboard and smiled, raising up an eyebrow.

"You're right. Here you go then, Y/N."

He insisted on your name in an almost humorous tone, but the way he spoke it sounded too deep and sweet to feel humorous to you. Maybe it was because of the accent…

You checked the name on the cup you still held in your hand.

Richard was written in a hurried but clear handwriting.

"Thank you, Richard," you answered with a smile that you hoped would look cool, but knowing you, it was most probably just a little nervous.

You exchanged your beverages with a smile still lingering on your lips, and as he closed his hand around the cup, his fingers brushed against yours, and for some reason, you felt a warm, electrifying feeling coursing through your limb. Was it simply because to you time had slowed down a little at the contact, or had he rested his fingers against yours just a little too long for the gesture to be meaningless?

His blue eyes had captured your gaze again, and you required an awful lot of efforts to break eye-contact. You could feel heat spreading through your neck and face.

"Well, have a nice day then," you gave him a polite nod, and stormed out of the shop before he could even answer.

He remained frozen on the spot for a moment, before letting words pass his lips in a breath.

"Yeah, have a nice day too… Y/N."

-------------------------------------------

Evening had brought a new energy to the streets of Glasgow. Something a little brighter despite the shadows growing in the sky, something a little more alive. The pubs were full and in the restaurants chefs struggled to keep up the fast pace of orders rushing in. The streets looked more like busy hives then, people laughing and walking in and out of bars despite the rain. The lamppposts shed a whitish glimmer on the crowds, the moon and stars hidden behind clouds. But if the rain had not faltered since the morning, more was required to discourage people from enjoying their evening.

The pub was rather crowded, but Richard and his friends had found a little table in one of the corners. On the TV screen near the bar, a rugby match was retransmitted, Scotland against Wales that would eventually end in a victory for the red team. A rock song was on, filling up silences through the room, but the tune was rather unfamiliar.

Richard however was paying no attention whatsoever to the rugby match played on the TV screen, nor to the foreign song, not even to the on-going conversation between his two friends from childhood. His mind had drifted back to the morning again, and to this woman he seemed to be unable to forget.

"And we’ve lost him again. I wonder why we keep on trying to involve him in the conversation at this point." Jerry laughed, drinking a big gulp of beer.

"Sorry, I’m listening," Richard mumbled, the alcohol in his bloodstream already kicking in and making his accent stronger as he abandoned more and more consonants sounds.

"Are you finally gonna tell us what’s happened today that has you so lost in thought now? Or do we have to blackmail you for it?"

"Blackmail?"

"How many embarrassing stories could we tell the press about the talented and handsome Richard Madden…"

But their friend merely laughed.

"If you’re to threaten me, then please, at least make it sound convincing."

"Come on, we deserve to know why our friend is not listening to anything we say tonight."

"Maybe you’re just boring…"

The teasing tone made all three friends explode with laughter.

"Spit it out!" Michael insisted, and Richard knew perfectly that he had no chance to escape the question anyway.

"It’s nothing, really… and I’d rather not have you two mocking me," he tried one last trick, but as expected, his friends didn’t give up.

"Oh we sure will. What kind of friends would we be if we didn't laugh at you? Come on!"

He drank a bit more of alcohol, as though to gather his courage. When he finally answered, Richard’s voice was uncertain and he struggled to find the right words.

"I just… I can’t… I went to get a coffee this morning and I met this… woman… and I… I can’t get her out of my head."

He was expecting some stupid cat calling and mocking stares and laughter. He was not disappointed.

"Who is she? What happened?" Jerry asked as he finally stopped his mocking ‘hoooo’s.

"I just… bumped into her on my way out. We got the wrong orders, she had my cup, I had hers so we exchanged and… that’s all. That’s all there is. See? Nothing important."

"You didn’t talk to her at all?"

"Well… nothing besides 'sorry I almost burned you with my boiling beverage ma'am, yes, they seem to have messed up with our cups, here's yours, have a nice day."

"Yeah… not the discussion of the century we have here…"

"Do you at least know her name?" Michael interrupted.

"It was written on the cup."

"And…"

"Y/N."

"Did you ask for her number?" Jerry asked, and Richard merely looked at him as if he were a mad man.

"Did you listen to anything I've just said? I've said like… two sentences to her. Of course, I didn't ask for her number."

"You should have!"

"I don't know anything about her. We didn't even have a little conversation or anything, I'm not a total creep."

"You are a total creep," Michael mocked. "Besides, you did talk to her."

"Three sentences do not make a conversation," Richard argued.

"You should have asked for her number," Michael and Jerry both agreed.

"I don't do that. I don't ask for someone's number when I have no idea who this person is whatsoever."

"You should. We wouldn't be having this conversation if you had."

"Never mind," Richard sighed.

Jerry rolled his eyes. His friend was being the ridiculous idiot he sometimes was, and there was no way out of this.

"Is there any way to find her again?"

"No… I mean I don't know anything about her except that she's…"

Richard stopped mid-sentence, his eyes lighting up as a thought crossed his mind and hoped illuminated his smile.

"When she took her coffee, the barista already knew what she would order. Which means…"

"… that she goes there often!" Michael exclaimed.

"Perfect! You only have to keep on going to this same Starbucks every single day in an attempt to see her again! And you thought that asking for her number was creepy…"

Richard opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, looking for some clever remark to fire back, but his mind was pretty empty… it was quite true…

"I… didn't even think about asking for her number or anything to be honest," he admitted with a touch of red colouring his unshaven cheeks. "I just… I couldn't think straight at all, and then she just… left. And maybe it's a little creepy, but I don’t have to behave like a stalker or anything. I can just go back there once in a while and if I don't see her, then that's just gonna be it. Nothing weird."

"The whole thing is weird," Jerry shook his head, but Michael nudged him.

"You should do that. And next time, do ask for her number," Michael instructed.

"Yeah… alright… I will. If I even see her again."

He hid his thought behind a smile. Sometimes, being an actor came in handy. It was easier to hide the emotions he wanted to keep for himself thanks to his job, like the way his heart broke a little at the idea of never seeing your face again.

********************************

Tag list : @ponycake27 @horsesreign @xinyourdreamsx @jbluevelvet @notkeppeki @daynigt-dreamer-stuff @fudgeflyss @stuckupstucky @snek-shit @suchatinyinfinity @i-padfootblack-things @buckybsarmy @heyohheyitsgabi

#richard madden #richard madden x reader #richard madden fanfiction #richard madden imagine #imagine #fanfic #fanfiction

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alleiradayne · 5 years ago

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Unconventional A J2 x Reader RPF Series

After a rousing evening of Friday Night Karaoke at the Supernatural convention, you’re tired and about to go to bed. But then a distinctly familiar laugh echoes through the hallway outside your hotel room door, and sleep is the last thing on your mind.

Part IV - Traditional

Summary: Saturday Night Special and afterparty Warnings/Tags: Floofs Characters/Pairings: Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Female Reader, Briana Buckmaster, Kim Rhods, Rob Benedict, Mike Borja, Steve Norton, Rich Speight, Jr., Ruthie Connell, and Matt Cohen Word Count: 1,567 A/N: For the love of everything good in this world, assume everyone involved is single or polyamorous. No. Wife. Hate. Allowed. This series as a whole will fulfill my Polyamory square for @spnkinkbingo but not until closer to the end. Beta’d by @atc74 because she’s awesome and managed to read this hella long buncha nonsense.

Hope. An eager sort of anxious anticipation shuddered in your fingers as you gripped the barricade railing. The hall buzzed with an energy so palpable, the fine hair on the backs of your arms stood on end. Fellow fans pressed in all around, their own little space of floor carved out for their spot amidst the tiny sea of bodies. As the house lights dimmed, the stage lights illuminated in their vast array of colors and shapes, and a crescendo of hundreds of voices filled the hall. Louden Swain took the stage as they always did and kicked off their set with Present Time.

They played favorite tunes and lesser known tracks, as well as their covers with other actors. Briana belted out a tune that showcased her vocals with her classic aplomb. Kim rocked the house, as usual. Matt, of course, couldn’t stand in a single spot his entire song. Ruthie in all her five-foot-three glory, danced as beautifully as she sang. And then there was Richard. Oh, Richard. With his big acoustic guitar and that gorgeous Tennessee twang, he could melt a heart with just one note.

You did your best to live in the moment, but with each song, that fervent expectation of what came next crawled up your spine and settled at the base of your neck. Part of it, you thought, had to do with your proximity to the stage—within arms’ reach of Rob and the rest. But the other part, the larger part, kept you on your toes the entire evening.

“We have a very special guest singing a couple songs with us tonight,” Rob started.

Your hope, it seemed, was about to pay off.

Rich leaned into his microphone and spoke. “Oh, we’re gonna let him out of his cage?”

“Something like that,” Rob replied. “Please welcome to the stage, the one, the only, Jensen Ackles.”

Louden Swain always earned a tidal wave of applause when they performed. But the roar, the deafening wall of sound that exploded from behind you put that to shame. Jensen crept out from behind a curtain on the stage, with his leather jacket and wide-brimmed hat, his perfectly tight jeans and shit-kickin’ boots.

“Thanks,” he mumbled into the mic. “Ready?”

Another burst of sound from the crowd blocked out the first set of elevens of Whipping Post. But when the cheers faded, that unique rhythm caught your hips in its steady rock beat, swayed from side to side. And Jensen’s baritone drowned out any other sound you might have heard, for his voice was the stuff of gods. He thumbed a boot in time with that smooth set of elevens—bless Gregg Allman for gracing the rock world with the 11/4 time signature—and damn it all to hell if you didn’t ogle Jensen’s bow legs.

S.O.B. followed, hot on the heels of Whipping Post. Those words in Jensen’s growl left you wanting more, bolstering your hope again for more of it later that evening. Amidst that hope, the whirlwind of music passed in such a rapid blur that Rob had cued the closer before you noticed. But with a quick sweep of the crowd, Jensen found you front and center, and as discreetly as possible, pointed stage right and mouthed, “Go, now.”

Through the throng you shouldered past your fellow fans, your space filled as soon as you vacated. To your left you pushed, side-steps bearing you slowly to the far end of the platform until you broke free of the mass of crowded bodies. There a Creation staff member stood and as you approached, smiled and asked for you name. When you gave it, she asked for an ID, and, after you flipped open your wallet, ushered you around the corner to the hallway behind the riser.

“I’m Sara,” she started as she held out her hand. When you took it, she said, “How long have you known Jensen?” she asked over her shoulder.

A quick lie took shape and you shrugged as you said, “Several years, now. Damn near a decade, actually.”

Face unreadable, Sara simply smiled as she led you around a corner. “Here we are,” she started as she unlocked a door and pushed it aside. “Welcome to the green room.”

She held the door aside as you stepped over the threshold. Though empty, the signs of life lay scattered about the room. Bottles of water at various levels of consumption littered every surface, as well as plastic cups, some empty, some containing hints of liquor. On the far wall, a table stood laden with beverages, liquor, beer, soda, and water, and a melting bucket of ice perspired on the end beside the cups.

“Folks will be back in a bit. Get comfy, help yourself to a drink.” She pointed at the table on the far side of the room laden with options. “Have fun!” she added with a bright smile as she slipped back through the door, a soft click following her.

What then? A drink? Maybe one or two would calm the creeping sensation beneath your skin. You headed for the table and snatched a cup from the stack, dropped in a single ice cube, and poured over it a generous amount of whiskey. The first sip warmed your tongue, slid down your throat, and settled in your belly as the door to the room burst open. You turned to find Rob leading his bandmates into the room, followed by the cast that had sang that night. Briana and Kim chatted excitedly while Matt and Ruthie continued singing the closer. Rich brought up the rear, face buried in his phone until Rob spoke.

“Hey,” he started as he crossed the room. “You’re Y/N?” he asked.

“I am,” you replied as you held out your hand, “I guess Jensen warned you?”

A bewildered shake of his head preceded Rob’s curious smile as he looked over his shoulder. Briana held back a laugh when Kim raised a brow at her. When Rob checked in with the others, they all shrugged. He turned back to you and said, “No, Sara only mentioned a gal with a backstage pass, although I didn’t know we did that here. So, you know Jensen?”

Your casual lie faltered, far too thin to work on Jensen’s actual friends. “Not… really.”

“Jared, then?” he continued as he reached for a bottle of water.

You struggled to find a response to that after memories of the previous night flooded your mind. “Yeah, we’re sort of acquaintances,” you said with a shrug.

“Oh, cool, for how long?” Rob continued.

“About…” you paused as you checked your phone, “36 hours.”

He laughed through his water, nearly spitting it out. “Are you—”

The door opened once more, and Jensen stepped through with Jared in tow. “Oh, awesome, they’re already picking on her,” he said over his shoulder. “Give it a rest, Rob.”

“What?!” Rob shrieked, “I wasn’t doing anything!”

“Uh huh, sure,” Jensen retorted as he neared you and wrapped an arm around your shoulder. “Alright, only time we’re gonna do this. This is Y/N, she’s a friend of ours. Cool?”

The others shrugged their agreement, and without another word, the afterparty started.

Long conversations led to stories about longer friendships, and as the minutes ticked by, the group eased in around you. They each took their time to talk with you, learning a little bit about you and eager to regale you with their favorite moments as a part of the family. Most common of all, though, was that each one of them shared a memory of Jared and Jensen being their incredibly kind and giving selves. And it was during those stories that you realized how damn lucky you were.

An hour had slipped by as you finished your drink, and Jensen took a queue from Jared. He stood from his chair and headed for the table, grabbing three bottles of water, and returned to the group as he spoke. “We’re off.”

“Boooo.” Rob’s hands cupped around his mouth and amplified his voice. Jared, much to your delight, flipped his middle finger at him for a laugh.

When you stood and followed Jensen to the door, Jared fell in behind you. The conversation picked back up and you thought yourself clear of any further teasing as you stepped over the threshold. That was until a catcall of a whistle pierced the din of the room. Jared did his best to push you onward, but as you turned over your shoulder, you caught a glimpse of Briana winking and Kim’s two thumbs up.

The door closed with a click and Jensen pressed into at your side. “I'm beat. What about you?”

“Exhausted,” you said. “Probably gonna pass out when I get back to my room.”

Jared's giggle from behind you drew your attention over your shoulder. His wicked grin and wandering eyes betrayed his indifferent shrug. His hands grasped your shoulders as he leaned into your ear and whispered, “I think Jen has other plans for the two of you.”

As you rounded the corner, Jensen slipped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer. You wanted to say something, anything, but dumbfounded excitement seized your tongue as you approached Clif at the end of the hallway.

“Hotel?”

Jensen nodded as he looked to you with a wicked grin. “Yeah. We're exhausted. Right, Y/N?”

“Yeah… exhausted.”

Reblogs and feedback are awesome. If you want in on the tags, send me an ask or a DM!

UNCONVENTIONAL MASTER LIST

ALLEIRADAYNE’S SPN KINK BINGO MASTER LIST

ALLEIRADAYNE’S SPN MASTER LIST

The Whole Thang:

@atc74 @hannahindie @bevans87 @meganwinchester1999 @plaided-ani-on-hiatus @oneshoeshort @jonogueira @andkatiethings @elfinmox@wonderfulworldofwinchester @princessofthefandomrealm @just-another-busyfangirl @jmekitchens @81mysteriouslyme @dolphincliffs @seenashwrite @canadianspnhunter @meowmeow-motherfucker @depressed-moose-78 @staycejo1 @hobby27 @pretty-fortune @mypopculturediva @fanfictionjunkie1112 @sandlee44 @4llmywr1tings @claitynroberts @maddiepants @scarletluvscas @donnaintx @blackeyedangel9805 @rainflowermoon @winchesterprincessbride @lazinessisalliknow @the-is13 @waywardafgrandma @keymology

Dean’s Dames (Jensen):

@supernatural-jackles @jerkbitchidjitassbutt

Unconventional:

@wayward-and-worn @evansrogerskitten @squirrelnotsam @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @pink1031 @kutie-stans @aomi-nabi @wilde-abandon @samwichesterssexyface @heavensheadbitch @amandamdiehl @thatonecurlygirl

#jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles fanfic #rpf fanfic #spn fanfic #alleiradayne writes

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natsspammityspamspamham · 5 years ago

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1. Who’s your celebrity crush?

I don’t have celebrity crushes most of the time. I have people who I think are pretty and people that I admire, but I don’t have any of them that I crush on. Alongside my favourite voice actors (seiyuu), Emma Watson would definitely be up there. There’s something about intelligence that makes a person far more appealing.

2. Are you single or taken?

As single as they come! I haven’t even been in a relationship, and I don’t really have any interests in getting into one!

3. Rant. Just do it.

I’m nervous. I’m doubting. I hate this feeling in me. I feel so out of place, so uncomfortable, and it’s eating me on the inside. I wish I had friends in real life. I really wish I did, but it feels like I’m growing apart from everyone, and I’m pushing them all away because I can’t stand being reminded of my past, and I feel like every step I take is just a desperate attempt to get myself back on track, and I’m trying to be proud of myself. I really am. But I have a hard time acknowledging anything that I do. I never feel like I’m enough. I feel insufficient. I feel like I’m just a statistic. I feel inferior yet superior at the same time. My self-image is warped. I feel like I’m lying to myself and to others. It hurts. It hurts a lot, and I don’t want people to know but I do at the same time. It’s a pain unlike any other, and as much as I can say that I don’t feel lonely, I feel like there should be people in my life that I can call my friends, and I want someone that I can mutually call my best friend without them saying that they are just my “good friend”. I want to know that I mean the upmost to a person without feeling I’m burdening them. I want to be No. 1 at something.

I dream about chasing dreams like becoming a medical professional, but I continue to realize and face my shortcomings that would prove that I’m not really fit for it. I want to do it, but quite frankly, I’m too stupid.

I can’t even articulate what’s truly paining my mind. It’s difficult. I don’t know why my body and mind wants to destroy itself.

But sometimes, I think I fix myself better.

4. Do you think it's okay to separate the artist from the art?

Personally, I’m one of those people who usually say no to this question. Now, if you have weird kinks or like pineapple on pizza, that’s none of my business. I won’t hold it against you. However, I find it hard to separate when things are illegal or morally wrong.

Examples:

Net-juu no Susume was a really heartwarming anime, and it was one of my favourite anime that depicted a wholesome adult romance that unveiled many truths about the real world despite spending its time online, but I would’ve never watched the anime if I would have known that the director was a Holocaust-denier. The rest of the staff? I don’t know, but I felt extremely uncomfortable even reblogging content after I found out.

I was planning on watching Rurouni Kenshin, and to this day, I believe I’m missing out, but I cannot support or condone or even watch a series that has a creator as wretched as Nobuhiro Watsuki. If you don’t know, he was charged in February of 2017 for child pornography. He was fined 200,000 yen. It was a slap on the wrist. Even though Rurouni Kenshin wasn’t a reflection on his person according to fans, I don’t feel keen on watching a show created by such a man.

In regards to actors, this goes for them too. If they are not supportive of the LGBTQ community, if they are racist, if they have committed acts that are cannot be condoned, I wouldn’t want to watch them or anything. Again, I have a hard time keeping track of who’s actually clean in this world, and in Japan, there is a lot of covering up. It was recently revealed that a lot of Madhouse anime that people love were probably made at the expense of animators who are human beings.

5. How many accounts do you have?

I have a few.

@nsisbest385 - my main where I stockpile my music @natsspammityspamspamham - This one where I am really open and reblog everything that I want to reblog (no exceptions; if I don’t even think about it, I just reblog) @natsthinkitythinkthinkthonk - used to be for inspirational stuff/writing, but now it’s mostly seiyuu stuff. I post things for their birthdays. I should’ve made a separate account. @semitranslatedseiyuublog - Where I semi-translate stuff but mostly transfer seiyuu content from Reddit. @awkwardbsd - This account has more followers than all my other accounts combined. It’s for awkward screenshots, memes, and other stuff surrounding the Bungou Stray Dogs universe. @dragontypepropaganda - I didn’t tell anyone this existed until now. I’m generally not on it. I just queue and leave.

6. How many pairs of shoes do you have?

Let’s see... uh... 1 for outside, 1 for exercise, 1 for my house slippers, 3 for orchestra that I never use, 2 dress shoes that I really never use, and I’m supposed to get 1 pair of slippers for outside.

7. Opinion on…

I don’t think I can answer this.

8. How many accounts do you follow?

9. Favourite brand of clothing?

I’ve been wearing more Uniqlo lately, but my wardrobe has a lot of hand-me-downs despite being so sensitive tactile-wise.

10. Name a dog

Atticus (boy) and Haruko (girl)

11. What unusual talent do you have?

I can whistle. I haven’t tried in a while, but I can put my feet behind my head.

12. What’s the most interesting school's gossip you’ve ever heard?

Keep in mind, I was only in school until grade 9-10. One of my PE teachers Ms. Snow had really scary eyes. When she got mad at me (which is pretty frequent considering she didn’t know who I was and kept calling me by other Asian people’s names because “we look the same”), I swear her eyeballs would extend from her sockets a little. They looked like they were about to pop out of her head. My sister said that urban legend states that she once fell down the stairs and both eyeballs popped out. She put them back in and carried on.

13. Ever prank called a store?

I think I almost tried once until I got a scolding or something (wasn’t even my parents).

14. What’s your coffee order?

Don’t have one. I don’t like coffee. I’m generally open to tea.

15. What’s a question do you constantly get asked?

“How are you?” I usually choose the easy route to answer to this question. I just say “good thanks”. You want the truth? I lie to myself.

“Why did you leave school?” It was a living hell. I didn’t feel safe. I was breaking down years ago. School nearly broke me, and if I stayed there any longer, I would’ve died (not an exaggeration).

“What are your hobbies?” I usually just say music and watching cartoons* (anime). They usually ask what else, and I just stare blankly.

16. If you had to get a tattoo right now, what would you get and where?

I wouldn’t want one.

17. Google the top song from the year you were born

Apparently, it’s How You Remind Me by *gasp* Nickelback.

18. Rant about your favourite musician

I seriously wish I was able to go to Sara Bareille’s version of the Waitress. I wish I was able to see it on Broadway. She’s such a talented individual, and she deserves all the attention she gets.

19. What’s your favorite teacher you’ve ever had?

All of my best teachers have been outside of school. I would say that my favourite teachers are my current bass teacher and my taekwondo master who has taught me for over a decade.

20. Describe your blog in 3-5 words

Fando(o)m, ranting, anime, seiyuu, random

21. What’s a conspiracy you believe in?

I believe aliens exist. I don’t think it would be logical to assume that Earth is the only planet that has “intelligent” (I say that very loosely) lifeforms.

“But they don’t have water or oxygen” Bold of you to assume that said aliens would need such a thing. I would think they can adapt like humans and all that. I just think it’s dumb to close ourselves off to believing that there are people other than ourselves that exist in this wide and expanding universe.

22. If you could see any concert tonight what would you choose?

I would really want to see the Waitress. If that doesn’t count, I would want to see some seiyuu singing live. It would depend. Hosoya doesn’t sing much anymore, Maaya Sakamoto has a waitlist longer than my lifespan (I have no luck with lotteries), and Saori Hayami has the same issue. I would want to see Sphere live too, but I don’t know all of their songs.

23. If you could break one of your bad habits which would you choose?

My depression... or my anxiety. Actually, those aren’t habits. I guess the closest I will get is doubting myself and beating myself up.

24. Can you dance? Sing?

A strong no to both.

25. What’s something you can’t stop buying?

Uh… I don’t go out and buy anything. I don’t make money so I don’t buy. However, if I did, I would really want to treat myself to good food and anime stuff.

26. Crowds or small groups?

Small groups... obviously.

27. How long before a trip do you pack?

Depends on where. When it comes to the Philippines, weeks for the Balikbayan boxes and less than a week for my actual clothes (usually pack a ton of clothes because I sweat a lot and “we’re not doing laundry!”)

28. What celebrity would you rate a PERFECT 10?

I feel like I don’t have a good grasp of the culture so I actually can’t say anything about my favourite seiyuu. We don’t even know if that’s their true personality. However, I feel like my perfect 10s are Emma Watson and Robin Williams. They might not be my “crushes”, but they are perfect 10s.

29. What quote or inspirational setting do you think is bs?

“When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up!” Nah man, you just don’t know what rock bottom looks like. It’s gonna get worse.

“Don’t fix what isn’t broken!” All because you can’t see what’s wrong with it doesn’t mean it isn’t broken. Yeah, I’m talking about the school system.

“Pain makes you who you are. It makes you stronger.” I can say that my trauma gives me anxiety.

30. If you had to dye your hair an unnatural colour right now, what would you choose?

I go by “Purple Dino” online so I’d have to say dark purple.

31. You can change one thing about your life right now. what are you changing?

I wish I could breathe properly. My allergies make it so hard for me to exist. It affects my breathing, sleep, dental care, and so much more. I think that’s the one physical thing I would change.

32. How old do you get mistaken for?

Apparently, I look like I’m in middle school even though I’m almost a legal adult.

33. What do you think about a lot?

Anime, seiyuu, my own shortcomings.

34. Do you like your Hogwarts house or do you wish you were a different one?

I like Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. I haven’t done my test in a while.

35. What does home mean to you?

Home is where you live. It’s where the heart lives. It’s where you feel safe, and it’s where you can take off the mask that you live in during the day. It’s the place where I don’t have to lie through my teeth. I can cry, I can laugh, I can scream, and I can finally be me.

36. What do you think you’d be arrested for?

I feel like I would be caught for pirating anime even if I don’t profit off it.

37. Have you ever been called down to the principal's office?

I’ve been there, but I haven’t been called down there because I really wasn’t important in school.

38. Post a picture of the outfit you would choose if you could have any outfit you wanted

Probably a dark coloured hoodie with sweatpants. That’s my default during the winter anyway.

39. Describe your aesthetic

Tired dead eyes with existential dread and depression. That’s how I see myself.

40. Answer with one of your ‘school memes’ (inside jokes you have with your class/grade) with no explanation

I’m not sure how to say this, but I was really not in the “right crowd” at school, and I was never let into any of these things. I can’t answer this, and it pains me just to read this because I’m missing out on so much of my youth and “high school life”.

I’m tagging @caratheillustrious who reblogged the questions!

#ask

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pretty-little-howtown · 6 years ago

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I’m Gonna Keep This Forever

Summary: The life of a makeup artist isn’t easy and it’s so much harder when you have a crush on one of the actors.

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1,944

Another day, another movie and another couple months of work. You walked into your trailer and started taking out and sorting all your make up supplies. Over your run as Marvel's main make up artist you've had everyone in the chair. From the stunning Scarlett Johansen to the charismatic Chris Hemsworth. Even the newest edition to the Marvel roster: Tom Holland.

Ever since he sat in your makeup chair for the first time you were practically the best of friends. If he had a problem he'd sit down and ask you for advice. You always wondered why you and he would always reply with 'you just have the best advice'. The two of you became so close that whenever he was going somewhere after the day was wrapped up he'd always invite you to hangout with him and his friends.

Your life was a dream come true. Everyone had sat in your chair, Tom more than others, other makeup artists would come and go depending on when they were needed but you were the constant. But your perfect lifestyle was in peril. It was in danger from your self. You had fallen hard for Tom. You didn't want to risk over stepping any lines, whether they already be drawn or not. Makeup artists are supposed to always be there but in the shadows not in the spot light. Over stepping those lines would put you in the spotlight and that's not what was supposed to happen.

Suddenly, Tom threw open the door to your trailer and pranced in elated, gripping his phone firmly in his hand.

"Y/N! Hey, I was wondering if you'd let me live stream you doing my make up for the shoot today. I just wanna show everyone part of the process ya know." He beamed with the hope that you'll let him live stream you doing his make up.

"Let me double check what you have to start off with today and then we'll see. We don't want any spoilers getting out. Do we Tom?" You asked with a raised eyebrow to which he blushed a little and awkwardly laughed. "Alright, you're in the clear. Set up anything you need and I'll go get the supplies." Tom fit pumped the air has he unlocked his phone, placed it against the wall mirror and started up the stream.

From the other side of the trailer you heard him mutter some words about what the two of you discussed earlier. You retuned with some basics. Foundation, concealer and the like.

"Right, this is Y/N the main Marvel make up artist," he explained as you waved to his phone, "today she's gonna do some basic make up for today's shoot."

He sat in the chair and you turned him sideways so that you could work but still have his audience see him. As you were putting on the foundation he asked you to read a few of the comments to him so he could reply and keep the stream as interesting as it can get. You found endearing when he went off on a tangent about something and his eyes just lit up talking about it.

"How did you get to where you are today?" You told him applying some concealer, waiting for him to reply.

"Well, it took a long time but I finished my GCSEs and then went to a preforming arts academy and did a course there for two years." You were concentrating on applying the highlighter while he talked you tuned him out. Until he looked directly at you with eyes full of curiosity with a hint of love and asked, "what about you?"

"Uh, me? I uh, I finished my GCSEs and my A levels. Did pretty well in both. Then I went off to uni and specialised in cosmetics. So a did four year course and got my bachelor's in cosmetics." You didn't say much as you weren't used to being the one answering the questions. To pressed on saying that he wanted to find out more about you. You said only a little more before asking about him.

He retold you his whole life story. His family life friend life even past girlfriends before asking you wether you were single. You answered with the truth. Yes. Although you did blush a little. In your book asking if someone was single was sign one of the asker being interested in the, aforementioned, someone.

You finished his make up and waved to Tom's audience as he ended the stream. He then put his phone into his pocket and swooped you into a hug. He even lifted you off the floor and spun your around. He thanked you once more and existed the trailer. A smile was still lingering on your face when Chris Evans walked in with a knowing look on his face.

"What?" You asked.

"Did I just hear Tom ask you if you were single?" Being the father figure he was, he answered a question with a question. Followed closely by yet another question, "and am I delusional but did you reply with yes?"

You just smiled asking him to sit in the chair and then looking outside at the large queue that had formed. It was back to the grind.

The next day you woke up with a small headache and a small memory gap that at first didn't appear to be a problem.

You went through your normal routine. Eat, brush teeth, get dressed brush hair, leave. You settled down in your car; looking at your watch on decided you still had time until you had to leave. Yawning with your thermos of tea in hand you opened your phone and saw it blow up with messages.

Tom invited you with Harrison Jacob and Zendaya to celebrate the end of filming. You went to Z's favourite bar and ordered a couple rounds. For most of the night you refused to drink anything stronger than whiskey, until Tom 'convinced' you to take a shot with him. He then had the brilliant idea to take a phot with all of you. He asked someone passing by to take the photo. You were in the middle with Tom's hands wrapped snugly around your waist and his chin atop your head. Zendaya and Jacob were on wait her side with Harrison on his side at your feet. After the photo was taken you honestly couldn't believe that his phone wasn't taken away. Tom then sent it to everyone so that you could all share this moment. The five of you then exited the bar and walked each other home. First Jacob then Z and then you. Tom wanted to spend as much time holding you as he could. When you got to your apartment he practically wouldn't let you go. He wanted to savour the moment because he knew full well that when the liquid courage wore off, he wouldn't be a ale to do it every again. Before he let you go however, he had another bright idea. This time to post the picture on Instagram tagging all of you in the photo.

You looked at the caption. 'Crazy last day of filming love you guys!' Under the post you read some of that comments that have been blowing up your phone.

'Omg who's that Tom's holding?! Are they dating?!'

'OMG OMG OMG @y/n IS SO CUTE WITH TOM SHIP!!!'

"AHHH IM NOT ON THAT PICTURE FUCK" you laughed at the last one. It sounded a lot like something you would say. Most of the rest of the comments were alternations between 'are they an item?' and 'I ship them so much.' Blushing you started your car and drove back to set. You had to clean up the makeup kits you left after Tom dragged you to celebrations.

When you got there however you weren't expecting Tom. He had no reason to be here, he was part of the cast his day was done. Yet he was still here.

"Hey Tom." You greeted, "what are you doing here?"

"Well uh I thought I'd- I'd hell you clean up. Yeah. Help clean up." He replied blushing. His was gonna do it. This was the day he was gonna say it. He wasn't gonna back out or more accurately Haz wasn't gonna let him back out. No more hiding. No more pretending. Today was the day.

You smiled, "okay well if you could bather up all the brushes that would be great." He did as you asked. The time was spent in stony silence. While Tom was hyping him self up to tell you by figuring out how he wanted to say it to you; you were were getting ready to give up. You were so focused on packing up that you got startled and fell backward when Tom tapped you on your shoulder. Tom's reflexes kicked in but instead of firmly holding you in his arms you fell on top of Tom. Your back to his front. You head a now from underneath you and saw Tom. Panicking you started standing up and apologising

"Guess I'm not as strong as I thought huh?" He laughed, "you don't need to apologise it was an accident." You nodded you head and went back to work still embarrassed by the previous situation.

You spent what felt like an eternity but was actually more like two seconds before Tom spoke again.

"Hey, I actually came here to tel you something. It's pretty big and I get if you don't wanna accept or anything but I'd still like to be friends after this. If you want to that is and if everything falls to shit like I feel it might." He started fiddling with the bristles of a foundation brush, suddenly finding them the most interesting thing in the world. "You see. There's not subtle or easy was for me to do this. When I told you I wanted the moment to be perfect but after last night I couldn't take not telling you any longer. I like you, a lot. Hell I think I love you. But like I said, I get it if you don't want anything to do with me or if you feel the same way." You stood there shocked. Tom stood there shocked. Why haven't you said anything yet. Are you gonna walk out and leave him? Is that gonna be it?

"Tom," he was dreading the answer but there was still a small glimmer of hope that you might like him back, "I like you too. I didn't think you'd like me back so I just kept it to my self hopped it'd go away. I was honestly just about ready to give up." Tom swooped you up in a hug the same kind of hug he gave you yesterday as a thank you. You heart swelled with joy. You got the guy.

"Can I kiss you now?" Tom asked waiting impatiently and almost immediately you replied. Yes. His lips captured yours in a passionate dance comparable to a tango. Tom traced your bottom lip with his tongue asking for entrance. Before he went in he nipped it sending a shock right through you. The shock coming out as an audible moan. He explored your mouth and you pulled away, lovingly looking into each other's eyes. Then you saw a flash. Turning towards it you saw a Haz shaped figure emerging from the bushes.

"Two posts in the span of a couple hours. The fans'll go crazy." He smirked and handed Tom back his phone. Tom showed the the picture.

"I'm gonna keep this forever"

#tom holland x makupartist!reader #dating tom holland #tom holland x oc #tom x you #tom holland imagines #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x reader

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calleo-bricriu · 6 years ago

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I hate the word “mun” and will not use it to describe myself, but this is that ‘how the blog is run’ thing going around.

Speed:

I'm usually pretty fast; I tend to slow down if work is busy or if I'm not at home as mobile doesn't have xkit and it makes it harder to neatly trim replies.

Usually, if I don't reply within a few hours, it's within a day or two.

Rarely, I draft something then forget I drafted it, then realize it like 2 weeks later when the other person asks if I saw their reply.

Honestly, if I don’t reply to something for over a week and you see that I’m otherwise active, that’s probably what I did and you can absolutely feel free to poke me about it.

Replies:

They can be reblogs, conversation in comments, etc...doesn't bother me either way and I don't usually care about ask reblogs though if it starts to get long I'll usually split it off into its own new thread.

Not picky about length as long as you give me something my character can realistically respond to and that can range from a couple of lines to several paragraphs depending on what's going on.

I don't care if you use icons or text formatting, but I don't and the closest to formatting I get is bold, italic, heading, strikethrough, and sometimes colors. My eyesight is terrible, so weird curly fonts that are also small are almost impossible for me to read, even with my glasses on.

Waiting for replies is no big thing; with several people I write with regularly, it’s 2+ weeks between replies, sometimes longer.

Hell, once, @absintheabsence went on like an almost 3 year hiatus and we picked back up about where it had left off. So, yeah, unless you specifically tell me you want to drop a thread, I’ll wait until you either reply or deactivate and disappear.

If I have a bunch of them I’ll queue or schedule them but, otherwise, they get posted as I finish them.

Starters:

I think all of them I've written have been plotted or split off from asks.

Don't really do open starters because--I don't know, I just never do. I have some starter things tagged that other people can send if they want to.

I also don't mind if someone tags me in a starter they want to do with or without asking me about it first; if something is too off the wall I might ask them to change something but that's pretty much never happened.

Inbox:

Pretty much open for anyone, mutual or not, but it is an IC askbox unless I've specifically posted an OOC meme.

If not, anything sent in will typically be answered IC.

If you want to chat with me OOC about something, use the Tumblr IM thing or Discord.

I do not do M!A/Magic Anons.

Selectivity:

Eh. I'm not that picky, I'll generally give anyone a chance to see if our characters or writing styles click, that includes duplicates of characters.

Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't; either option is okay and I'm not going to be offended or upset if we don't end up clicking and a thread gets dropped or we do one thread then never speak again.

The only things I'm not super into are crossovers who don't have a specific Harry Potter verse that includes NOT carrying over large chunks of another fandom that don’t necessarily really fit into the HP universe into the character. It's just not a thing I'm personally into.

I also tend to be weirdly picky about OCs, at least for following them back.

That said, I'm not mutuals only and I usually only unfollow if we both never interact and I'm not super interested in just reading along.

I also tend to unfollow if you post a lot of untagged or uncut NSFW as I do often idly browse and do replies at work and if you don't tag, Tumblr's tag filter system doesn't, y'know, work.

Constant meme spam and begging for people to send stuff in is also kind of a turn off after awhile as it just comes off as kind of creepy and desperate and past experience OOC with people who do that has never been pleasant because they'd always end up leaping on me demanding to know why I 'never sent anything in' if I didn't send in something from literally every meme they reblogged but if I happened to point out they never sent anything to me and rarely answered any things they specifically asked me to send in, I'm being "aggressive".

So, yeah, constant meme spam + begging people for replies/asks/memes is probably going to make me quietly unfollow.

Still fine writing with you unless you’re also complaining that I don’t send you ‘enough’ memes or complain to me about how everyone ignores you while you’re--kind of ignoring me, but probably won't follow back because I don’t like my dash being choked up with rapid fire desperate meme reblogging.

Wishlist:

It's here.

But, if you'd rather not click:

Things I would absolutely love to do more of RP wise:

RP with more adult characters/adult versions of characters.

RP that doesn’t necessarily involve shipping or push toward shipping. I don’t mind shipping at all, but it’s not my main focus.

RP that involves philosophical or theoretical magical discussion/experimentation.

Slice of life type RP.

Marauders Era/First War RP; I do actually like playing the younger version of this character, though I prefer playing from 5th year on.

Casual, back and forth conversation type RP either as short reblogs or in the comments on a single post. It’s relaxing and often branches into the larger threads or plots as it’s a good way to get some easy rapport going.

#ooc #about the blog #hp rp #long post

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nooneelsecomesclose17 · 7 years ago

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Until you’re resting here with me (Love Actually AU) - Part 1

I’m incapable of keeping anything on my hard drive without posting...Hopefully I will have it all posted before Christmas :)

He couldn’t believe he was back here. It had been just over ten years, years where he’d been able to push it from his mind and now he was back, partly, no mostly against his will. He had a vague memory of some annoying kid from his brother’s wedding but nothing more than that. It had to be some kind of cosmic joke that he’s ended up getting engaged to Robert’s best friend and the party was being held back in Emmerdale. From what he could see as he pulled the car to a stop, nothing had changed.

He’d changed though. Back then he was a mechanic, sleeping with his brother’s fiance, not much else going for him. Now, he was reasonably successful, even if selling agricultural machinery wasn’t the most glamorous job in the world it paid the bills...and he was in love with his best friend’s fiance. Ok, so maybe not everything had changed.

He wasn’t going to do anything about it, he had grown up that much. If it was anyone else, he might have, but he wouldn’t do that to Luke. He’d been there for him for years. He’d met him not long after he left the village, letting him kip on his sofa for a while until he got himself sorted. He owed him everything, which is really the only reason he was here. If it had been anyone else he would have made an excuse, got out of it somehow but not Luke. Taking a deep breath he gets out of the car, convinces himself it’ll be fine, and heads inside.

The first thing he notices is that the pub has changed. He’d heard of course about the siege a few years before, he’d even called his sister to check on everyone. He wasn’t that heartless. He sees her first, heading through the back, arms full of food platters. She’s grown up, of course, reminds him so much of their Mum. He misses her. They’ve been closer since that phone call, chatting every couple of weeks, texting a lot even if this was the first time they’d seen each other in person for years.

“Alright mate, you made it!” He cringes slightly, had wanted to see the lie of the land before drawing any kind of attention to himself. Then again that’s just impossible with Luke, he’s loud and annoying especially when you don’t want him to be. “Wasn’t sure you’d turn up.”

“Anyone but you, and I wouldn’t, you know that. So, where’s Aaron?”

“He’s here somewhere, hijacked by his family. Listen, about that, would you, in your position as my almost definitely best man, do me a favour?”

“Almost definitely? Well that’s a compliment and a half.”

“Yeah, yeah. There’s probably gonna be speeches and one of Aaron’s lot is meant to be filming it but they’ve been at the bar since it opened so could you, you know be a backup? You know, posterity and that?” Robert can’t help laughing, can only guess how many drinks he’s already had, but he nods, patting him on the back as he spies Vic making her way back into the bar.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to get it all. I’m, er, gonna go talk to Vic.” She’s already seen him, is heading over to him at speed.

It feels good hugging her, he’s missed her. Whatever reasons there were for leaving he’s always regretted leaving her. There’s no peace for a proper chat and he has to promise her that he’ll hang around the following day for it before she’ll let him go. He’s booked into the B&B anyway, against his better judgement, and he promises her breakfast at least. After that he’ll see.

The party is fun, considering, and he watches as Luke and Aaron make their way round the pub, all smiles. He’s not used to seeing Aaron like this, dressed in a smart blue suit, shirt collar open, and he’s having a hard time taking his eyes off him. He has to keep forcing himself to tear his gaze away in case anyone notices. In the end he busies himself filming and taking photos on his phone trying to do as he’d been asked and capture the evening.

He finds himself watching Aaron again, he’s all smiles, laughing and joking with his family and their obvious good natured teasing. He’s not normally like that. There’s more likely to be a frown than a smile. He can’t really pinpoint when he knew he was attracted to him. Luke had introduced them on a night out and for a reason he can’t remember Aaron was in a mood. The first impression hadn’t been great but even then there had been an attraction.

“They seem happy. Aaron’s been smiling a lot more when he’s come back to visit.” He jumps as Vic sits beside him and the phone has to refocus itself.

“You know him?” He knew Aaron’s family lived here but he himself lived in Leeds, it hadn’t occurred to him that his sister would know him well.

“Yeah, we were good mates until he moved to Leeds, still are I suppose. I hear from him more than you anyway!”

“Alright, I know I’m a terrible brother, no need to rub it in.” She’s joking he knows, at least partly. He could be better of course. She was forever asking him to come back, telling him that Leeds wasn’t far, disappointed to know he had been that close all those years and hadn’t been in touch. He had a lot to make up for, still.

He glances back at the screen of his phone, still videoing. He can tell she’s looking, can see what he’s recording but he can’t make himself stop. He hates himself for it, it’s his best friend for God’s sake but he just can’t help how he feels. “Which one?”

“Hmm?”

“Which one of them is it that you like? I’m not stupid, Robert. You haven’t taken your eyes off them.” She knows he’s bisexual, had for a year or so, had seen a picture on his facebook that he’d been tagged in, kissing some guy from way back and asked him outright. Vic had never been one for subtlety after all. He was glad she knew though, it felt good, even if she did still stick her nose in a bit too much for his tastes.

“What? No! Luke asked me to video the speeches and that.”

“Hmm, well they’re all done and dusted and you’re still filming. So come on...I’m going with Aaron because you’ve known Luke long enough that you’d be over it by now or at least done something about it.” He just shook his head in disbelief. “Robert! What are you doing?”

“Nothing. I’m doing nothing, alright. So just forget about it.” He looks at her until she nods. “They look happy, don’t they?”

He’d hoped maybe stupidly, that seeing them together again so happy, he’d start to feel less, that somehow his brain would compute that there was no chance for them. If anything it was the opposite, the more he saw him the stronger it was and he had no idea what to do.

*****

“How long?”

“How long what?” He stops, piece of cake halfway to his mouth. Breakfast had ended up being lunch and now they were in the cafe and he’d barely even sat down before she started in on him. He’d hardly slept, too busy thinking about Aaron, wondering what to do.

“You know what. How long have you liked Aaron?” He can’t help the nervous glance around, checking no one is within earshot before he answers her.

“Will you keep your voice down? It’s nothing to do with you.”

“Got a queue of people you can talk to then have you?” He sighs, she’s got this thing about him only having the one really close friend. It doesn’t bother him, if anything he prefers it that way. “You know nothing’s going to happen don’t you?”

“Expert now huh?”

“Aaron’s my mate, like I said, so yes...I am. I don’t want to see you get hurt Rob, or him.”

“I told you, I’m not going to do anything. It’s a stupid...crush if you like, I’ll get over it. I just need to keep my distance until I do.” It’s all he’d thought about, laying awake all night. If he just stayed out of their way, avoided their usual weekly drink then surely this ‘thing’ would fizzle out. The downside to all that was his friendship with Luke might end up damaged by the time he was over it. Then again it’d be destroyed if he did anything else. “Let’s change the subject, yeah?”

*****

He doesn’t see either of them for a few weeks, he’s busy at work and trying to avoid them, the guilt of how he’s feeling beginning to overwhelm him. Then they’re off on holiday, a pre-wedding honeymoon of all things because they want to stay at home for Christmas. It gives him some space, time to think, even if he doesn’t come to any kind of conclusion. He needs to work something out or he’ll lose the best friend he’s probably ever had.

They’re away for two weeks and the pictures on Instagram keep him more updated than he really wants but he can’t bring himself to stop checking, replaying every video of Aaron willing himself to not feel like this anymore, but nothing works. He shoves it to the back of his mind as best he can until his phone rings at work one day.

“Rob, it’s me.”

“You’re back then?” He leans back in his chair, keeping an eye out to make sure his boss was nowhere in sight. The man had been on the warpath recently and Robert wasn’t about the get on the wrong side of him, not even for his friend. “How was the pre-wedding honeymoon thing?”

“Brilliant. Listen, we wanted to have you over for dinner next week, to say thanks. You free Saturday?” He sighed internally, that was the last thing he wanted, spending the whole evening with Aaron, at least not until he got over whatever this was. Not that he’s going to say no, he never has so far, isn’t going to start now, knows it’ll look suspicious.

“Yeah, should be. Haven’t you got better things to be doing than inviting your sad single friend round?” Please say you have, he thought over and over. He didn’t know how he’d get through it.

“Nah, not really.” Comes the teasing reply. “Listen I’ve got Aaron on the other line, he wants to talk to you. Be nice, yeah?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Just be less you, yeah?”

“I’m hurt! Go on, I’ve got a couple of minutes before getting back to the exciting world of tractors.” He doodles absently on the diary in front of him while he waits, the two of them obviously having a conversation.

“Robert?”

“Finally. What’s up?” He can’t help sounding fed up, he’s trying so hard to get over himself and having to see and hear from Aaron isn’t helping in the slightest.

“I, er, I’ve got to go and buy my suit, for the wedding. Well, I’m not one for suits and none of my mates are either. Luke suggested I ask you. You might be a big headed prat but even I can tell you’ve got some taste.” He’s panicking because he can think of nothing worse, spending the whole day with Aaron should be a dream come true but not like this, not buying his wedding suit.

“I’m pretty busy, work, you know...is there no one else?”

“If there was do you think I’d be asking you?” He sounds so put out that Robert wants to laugh. “Look, will you help me out or not?” Well he had no choice really did he? It’d look suspicious if he didn’t.

“Fine. It’ll have to be Friday though, only day I’m free.” That gave him three days to think of a way to get out of it because there was no way this wasn’t ending in disaster.

“Don’t sound too enthusiastic will ya. Friday then. I’ll pick you up at your place at 10.”

He agrees and Aaron’s hung up within seconds, leaving Robert just staring at the phone, pretty much regretting getting out of bed.

#robron fanfic #love actually au #indulge me it's christmas

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accio-ambition · 7 years ago

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I am posting this from the great beyond. And by that I mean my internet is down today, so this is actually being posted in queue and I hope tumblr doesn’t mess that up. That being said, the story on FFnet and AO3 won’t be updated until I get my internet back on Saturday, so you can either wait or continue or come up with a third option. It’s up to you. I will tell you that Flustered Emma and Eloquent Killian show up in this chapter. And also boats - ships.

As always, a humongous thank you to @sotheylived, @shipsxahoy, @queen-icicle-fandom, and @captainswanbigbang for supporting and getting this project through at some point in time in the past…god, seven months? Is that right? Math is not my strong suit.

Summary: Bouncing around with her son for the majority of her life, Emma Swan has told herself she’s happy in the city. It’s where the most camera operating jobs are, and that’s how she makes her money. But when an old friend calls her and asks for her help on a new project in small town Maine, Emma finds herself in a place she’s never been with people she doesn’t know filming a profession she knows nothing about. But when the captain of the ship she’s filming begins taking a keen interest in her and her life, she finds herself wondering whether she might just catch something other than fish. Deadliest Catch AU Rating: M Content warning: Character death, some violent situations

FFnet/Ao3/Cover/Snapshots/Gifset

Chapter Ten

The first time the cold, cold water sloshes over her, it’s bracing to say the least. She thought she’d pulled the strings of her boots tight enough and had enough layers on to at least stall the water’s path to her skin, but she was dead wrong. From the moment the first drop hit her cheek bone, it stole the breath from her lungs.

They’ve been lucky enough to avoid any inclement weather since filming started. But not today. No, the local meteorologists were predicting one of the most forceful storms of the season and they weren’t kidding. She’s only calm because everyone else is. If something were wrong, Robin would be on his phone texting Regina or Whale would be drinking the schnapps he hides in the kitchen.

(She won’t lie to herself, she’s impressed she knows anybody well enough to know their panicked tells. She knows that Jones wouldn’t be humming like she can hear him doing through Scarlet’s radio and she knows that Scarlet would be cursing a storm bigger than the one knocking them around right now.

Almost like they’re her friends.)

But they go about business as usual, and she follows their lead. It’s a little more slippery and the lighting is a bitch to deal with, but the footage she’s capturing is actually pretty good. It’ll make for a good episode. She’ll just need to talk with Jeff about the right angle, how to fit it into the bigger season picture.

A wave crashes over the side of the ship again, drenching Emma and the camera once more, and she can’t suppress the shiver that wracked her body.

“Go talk to Jones, Emma!” Robin shouts. “Warm up and dry off a bit, then come back out!”

Right now in her mind, she’s never met a smarter man than Robin Locksley. Anywhere out of this wet and cold weather sounds better. “Don’t do anything interesting while I’m gone!” she yells back.

“If we do, we’ll be sure to face the camera, eh?” he says with a smile.

She carefully heads up to the captain’s roost, gripping tightly to the railing and shaking her head as she goes. Killian’s got a single window open next to him when she walks in to better hear if any emergency arises on deck, rain spitting through the opening and onto his arm.

“Well, well, well, Swan,” he greets her, sliding the window closed a bit to lessen the noise between them. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I’m wet,” she says simply, shaking her arms and letting the raindrops fling off her sleeves and on to the equipment around her.

“Jumping right into the action, then,” Jones chuckles boastfully. “I’m always agreeable.”

She rolls eyes. “The waves have been targeting me specifically.”

“Don’t feel bad, love,” he tells her, focusing back on the sea before them. “Everybody stumbles during their first time.”

“I’ve been doing this for weeks now. You know that.”

“Who said I was referring to being on my ship?” he says with an eyebrow wiggle.

She scoffs. “God, Killian, the innuendos need to wind down.”

He jumps a little bit, then looks her over. “Do they make you uncomfortable?” he asks, his voice gentle and so quiet, it takes Emma a moment to actually comprehend what he’s said over the sound of crashing waves coming in from the open window.

“A little bit,” she admits. “It’s more the frequency than anything else.”

He pauses to think about it, all the while pressing this button or shifting the wheel that way to keep them on course. “Then I’ll endeavor to make them less frequent.”

Raising her brow, Emma lets out a surprised, “Really?”

He surprises her further by holding up a single finger and a smirk. “On one condition.”

She sighs. “Of course there’s a condition.”

“It’s nothing to arduous,” he assures her, glancing her direction and licking the corner of his lip.

“What is it?”

A swell builds in front of them, taking his attention away from her to safely navigating them deeper into the water. A heated tension sizzles between them as Emma waits for his request.

When Jones is finally satisfied with their course, he looks her straight in the eye. “Call me by my name a little more.”

“Huh?” Honestly, the words that keep coming out of his mouth keep leaving her more and more speechless. “What, have I been calling you a pirate to your face? A scoundrel? A nincompoop?”

He laughs heartily, his hand smacking up against his chest. “Not aloud, but it’s nice to know what you truly think of me, Swan,” he says once he calms down. “I only mean my name. My given name.”

This time, both of Emma’s brows shoot up to her hairline. Slowly, she gets as close as she can to him without interfering with her camera equipment or his captaining. “You mean to tell me that if I call you Killian more, you’ll tone the innuendoes down?” she repeats skeptically.

“Not tone them down, necessarily,” Jones amends, “but I’ll make them less.”

“Seems like a fair deal.” She sticks out her hand to shake on it. He takes her hand, raises it to his lips, and presses them to the knuckles of her fingers.

“An accord, then,” Jones - Killian - murmurs against her skin.

Emma blushes but ducks her face in an attempt to hide it, glancing out the front window. “I wish you’d keep both hands on the wheel,” she says, effectively changing the subject and calming the rise of red on her cheeks. “We are in the middle of a storm.”

“Ah, but it’s clearing up.” He points out the front window, toward a sliver of bright sky in the distance. “We’re moving out of it. By the time we turn back, it’ll have dissipated.”

Shaking her head, Emma readjusts the camera so the frame flatters Jones better before asking, “You seem to really know the ocean’s ways. How come?”

He glances at her, spots the camera’s lens pointed at him, and gives her a slight look to condemn her for using their casual conversation to facilitate filming. But he sighs and answers anyways. “When you’ve been around the sea as often and as long as I have, she becomes her own person,” he explains, staring forward as the waves begin to calm, just as he predicted. “Much like I can tell when Liam hasn’t slept well or when Victor drank too much the night before, there are signs. In the sky, in the crashing waves, sometimes even the grass beneath my window. The sea has her own personality. Now, for instance,” Killian says, gesturing out the side window, “I can feel the swells getting smaller, see the sunlight ahead, the wind’s less fierce.” He sighs reluctantly. “She was angry earlier, but now she’s vented her feelings and she’s calming back down.”

With the small space now quiet - Jones is nothing if not eloquent - Emma takes a moment to admire his profile as he gazes out at the ocean. Strong lines, light scruff, masculine and somehow still giving off a bit of a boyish fear.

(Like she’s hit a nerve or something.)

“Is that good enough for you, lass?” His question breaks her concentration.

“Me? Yeah, no, that was great.” Somehow, his words have touched her. It’s a different side of him, one she’s only seen one other time. When he was showing her and Henry around the Jolly Roger that afternoon, he had the same sort of – reverence, is the word she comes up with, but isn’t at all sure that’s what she means.

“Good.” Her feelings must show on her face and Emma quickly tries to quell them, for he asks, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I just.” She scrunches her nose and bites at her bottom lip. “Nothing,” she answers. After another moment of looking at him, trying in vain to figure out what’s going on in her brain, she jerks her head back to the deck below. “I should get back out there.”

He nods in understanding. “We’ll be back to shore shortly, Swan. No need to worry about orphaning your lad today.”

Emma groans, already halfway out of the captain’s roost. “I wasn’t worrying about ever orphaning Henry, but now that you’ve put that thought in my mind, it’s the only thing I can think about.” She glares at him and his shit-eating grin over her shoulder. “Dick.”

“What a way to talk to your captain,” Jones laughs.

0000

The weeks continue to fly by and before Emma knows it, Henry’s back in school and the weather is turning cold. Trawling season extends until late December in some parts of the state - and even later in some states - but the Jones brothers decide to call it quits shortly after Halloween. Between what they caught in those couple of months and the commission they’ll get from channel executives, Liam, Killian, and everyone in their employ will be safely set until next year.

As the end of October rolls about, Emma spends her birthday quietly, finishing up the last edits of B roll to send to HQ. Henry surprises her with a cake he and Mary Margaret made the night before, and Ruby gifts her with free coffee and a box of bearclaws Granny made especially for her. It’s not much, but it’s certainly better than birthdays she’s had in the past.

She’s also – secretly, of course – checking for new jobs. Without the guarantee of a second season, Emma’s got to be able to make money somehow. She’s looking locally because she loves this house, now that it’s had time to be lived in and gather the typical Swan clutter and mess, and she likes this town and the people in it. But when nothing shows up within reasonable driving distance, she’s forced to look in Boston and Portland and points further away from home.

(Because that’s what Storybrooke is now. Home. The first one she’s actually felt that way about in a long, long time.)

In mid-November, after what’s probably the third snow of the year, Jefferson texts them all with a premiere date – a Tuesday in mid-January, not a bad slot, but not a good one either. It’s honestly what she expected for such a new show’s first season – and information for a belated wrap party.

“Are these wraps normal?” Killian asks her one evening during a crew dinner. He’s seated between her and Graham, a deckhand on the Jewel, and across from Regina, who’s cutting Roland’s piece of lasagna into smaller squares. She’s got a bit of a belly now, the news of her pregnancy official shared with both ships’ crews at the beginning of dinner. Seeing this woman – her friend, or so Emma considers them – in the middle of her pregnancy takes Emma back to the time when she was pregnant with Henry. The situations were nearly opposite ends of the spectrum, but there were times when Emma was so excited and happy to welcome her son into her life.

Responding to Killian’s question, Emma shrugs and shoves a bite of salad into her mouth. “It really depends,” she says around lettuce, then swallows. “I think it’s bigger for scripted shows and movies. But Jeff promised me open bar, so I’m not gonna say no to a night of free booze.”

Killian guffaws, his laughter frightening people at the other end of tonight’s table. “A woman after my own heart, Swan.”

(She tries to ignore the blush that rises on her cheeks at his words, but at the look Liam gives her from further down the table, she knows she doesn’t exactly get away unnoticed.)

Emma shrugs again and says, “It’s all I asked for for my birthday, free booze. But Henry’s not exactly allowed to buy it and he’s the only one I told anyways.”

Wiping his mouth with a napkin – who the fuck is this guy, she thinks, using an actual napkin to dab at his mouth like he’s a fucking earl – Killian asks, “I’ll be happy to oblige. When’s the day?”

“October 28th.” His response is a dropped jaw. Emma’s eyes widen and she looks up and down the table, then back to Jones. “What?”

“That was three weeks ago,” he says simply. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

For the third time, Emma shrugs. “We were all focused on ending the season on a good note. Besides, my birthday’s never been an event. Even when I was a kid.” She looks back at her plate, still half full, but she realizes she’s lost her appetite with this conversation. Setting her fork down, Emma adds, “It’s not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal?” If it’s possible, Killian’s jaw drops further. He shakes his head and then stands up, surprising both her and Graham on his other side. Clinking his knife against his glass, he calls for everyone’s attention. Everyone quiets down, focusing on the Jolly Roger’s captain.

“While I’m overjoyed to have everyone together for yet another crew dinner, there has been an oversight on every one of our’s part,” he announces. Glancing down at Emma, he sends her a wink. “Three weeks ago, on October 28th, we missed the annual celebration of our own Emma Swan’s birth. And so, to reconcile ourselves, I propose we give Swan a proper Storybrooke birthday, even if it’s a fortnight late.”

Robin stands up, his glass in hand and his lips wide in a smile. “Seconded,” he declares. To her, he says, “Best protect your ears, Emma. Don’t want them bleeding all over your sheets.”

And with that, every single person at the table starts their most horrible, most off-key rendition of happy birthday. Arthur, another deckhand on the Jewel, is going falsetto; August, the Jewel’s engineer, is singing in a different language altogether; and Mulan, Liam’s second-in-command, is singing the song backwards. By the end, Henry’s at her side, hugging her tight, and Emma’s in tears from laughter and trying to get oxygen back into her lungs.

Killian conducts the whole thing and brings it to a close after a prolonged final note before thanking everyone and taking his seat again. Emma leans her forehead to his shoulder, more for support in trying to get her breath than anything else.

“I know it wasn’t on the day itself, but it’s the best we could do at the current time,” he tells her.

“No, it’s perfect,” she says, still laughing. “Thank you, Killian. It’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten.”

He rests his head atop hers. “You’re more than welcome, Swan,” he murmurs. “Happy birthday.”

#csbb #captain swan big bang #captain swan #ouat #cs ff #my words #ditlot #storytime #I promise we're getting to the good parts of the story #and also I really love how killian just wants to hear emma says his name #that ego of his #can someone have a name kink?#is that a thing?#becuase i think this killian has one

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autistic-science-cryptid · 7 years ago

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Comment Exchange about a Manipulative Autism Mom

As I promised, here is the comment exchange, which I did on the Patheos blog Roll to Disbelieve, which discusses the behavior of a particularly manipulative Autism Mom™. To sum up: The owner of that blog, Captain Cassidy, once worked in a call center, and the Autism Mom™ in this case grabbed up the fanciest TV package she could find, one she could not afford, and played the autism card (complete with the whole array of humiliating details that so any Autism Parents show without the child’s consent) to get her bills forgiven indefinitely so she could basically et these services for free. I responded talking about how this is a well-known phenomenon within the autistic community, one we really do not like, and she and I ended up in an exchange talking about how this behavior affects the kids and how annoyingly manipulative it is. This is what led me to the conclusion that this type of manipulation, while it may not be always against companies, may be driving a lot of the vocal refusal to accept the sort of advice we have to give. After all, they want to hear a pat answer that makes their child convenient - they don’t want to hear that they may need to try multiple things, accept messy parts of life, and various other things we suggest that are likely to work, but are not something you can just implement and forget.

Exchange under the cut - note that a few other people on that blog, allistic people, do agree with the sentiment that people who claim autism as their identity when they themselves are not autistic, while simultaneously denying this identity to actually autistic people, is really a disgusting thing to do. All users except Captain Cassidy and me are designated with initials:

Captain Cassidy (blog mod, also calls herself Wielder of the Banhammer) Perpetual victims tend to leave nothing to chance when it comes to fucking up their lives. It's just amazing how they manage to cover every single potential base with epic failure so that there's only one possible avenue of help--which is guaranteed to be someone who'll be hugely put out by rescuing them. It's like watching the human version of a slow-motion train wreck. Then when nobody leaps forward to save them from their own poor choices, they'll whine that "so-and-so doesn't want to work with me." Yeah, been there and done that with call center work. You could always immediately tell who those people were: they'd have tons of little credits and line-item deletions on their accounts, a balance that hadn't been current since their account started (and a fairly recent activation date at that), a constant wave of promotions and specials they probably shouldn't have gotten, and--the tip-off--a pattern of forgiven late fees, disconnection fees, and bounced check fees, each noted with some new disaster the customer had suffered that had prevented them from paying their bill on time and in full that month. They always had some ideal solution in mind, and it seemed like they would refuse every option and possibility we offered if it wasn't that solution in their head. Usually the solution involved total absolution of all fees and balances, but barring that they'd happily take a very large discretionary credit "for being such good customers" and as "compensation" for the hassle caused to them by the disconnection or whatever. If a frontline agent refused to "work with them" that time, they'd escalate as high as they could to try to get their bill credited. I was one of the people in that escalation chain, but had the good fortune to be working for a company that was cracking down HARD on those kinds of credits so I could refuse knowing upper management wouldn't give in either. These idiots would ride the carousel as long as a company would let them, then fuck off and go right along to the next provider of that service. I remember telling one that sooner or later they'd go through all the providers in their rural area and it might be a good idea to talk to someone about learning how to budget and all that because she'd hit the limit on what we could do to save her from herself. It didn't go over well with her. (She had an autistic son, she said, and she'd gotten that company's largest entertainment package on a new customer promotion about 18 months previously. The son had gotten used to watching a channel that only came with that package and would, she assured us, beat his head against a wall until he landed in the hospital if he couldn't have that channel on all the time. She hadn't actually paid a bill at all in about 16 months and now owed the company somewhere around $2000. Normally that was an impossible balance to accrue, but we'd inadvertently taught her a very dirty trick we could do in cases of extreme need: When she got disconnected every month, she'd call up and pity-party someone into taking pity on her and reactivating it, even if that meant re-aging her account to get it back online, with the assurance--never fulfilled--that she'd totally pay in full "soon." The company's fraud team had flagged her account and made it impossible for ANYBODY not on their team to reactivate her without payment in full plus three months in advance. She was used to escalating a few times, since only people at a fairly high level could re-age accounts. I was one of them, but I sure wasn't gonna do it for her. Re-aging meant to take her full balance, credit that amount to the account to bring it current, then charge it all back again. In effect, she would still owe the full balance, but now it showed as a current balance instead of a past due one. This is a TERRIBLE thing to do and it completely freaks out fraud investigators. So she escalated on me, and I sent her to a manager, who "wouldn't work with her" either, and then she landed in the fraud team's queue and I didn't hear anything past that. I didn't believe her excuse story, but it hardly mattered if I did or didn't; the only solution at that point was for her to pay what was being demanded, and that wasn't the solution she wanted to hear.)

Me You know, that woman who claimed she had an autistic son? I wouldn't be shocked if she was one of those parents that the autistic community HATES. The ones who are always pity-partying their kid's autism, talking about how their kids DESERVE an autism cure (which most autistics, including me, don't want), acting as if autism is doom-and-gloom all the time, often supporting the crap "charity" Autism Speaks, which repeats those same pity lines, videoing their child's meltdowns and posting them on the internet without their consent along with giving graphic details of hygiene and bathroom habits of their kids, also without the child's consent (including feces-smearing, which is something an autistic person I know did as a baby and grew out of, and they transitioned to making mud pies by the creek as a kid), and calling themselves "autism parents" while telling us autistic people "no, no, sweetie, you are a person with autism". Ugh, there's a lot of nerve in that last one, taking our identity for themselves while expecting us to separate ourselves from it. And then it seems possible that one of these so-called "autism parents" (who inevitably are never autistic themselves, because autistic people who are parents call themselves "autistic parents") has the gall to scam your company, to boot.    S  I just think it's obnoxious they make it all about them.   C  "Autism parent" sounds awful. It's like she thinks she's mothering the autism itself, rather than her kid.  

  Captain Cassidy, Wielder of the Banhammer  Oh yeah, that was completely this awful lady. That's exactly what she talked like. She presented herself as one step holier than the Virgin Mary and it just outraged her that my company wasn't just donating services to her because SHE was an AUTISM MOM and didn't we KNOW what she was GOING through every day... And yes, I got treated to some astonishing personal details about her son that seemed engineered to evoke the most pity and disgust in listeners. I almost told her hey gal, I've been emotionally manipulated by the best. And you ain't anywhere close to that level.   

Me  I wish more people responded to "autism mom" laments the way you do. That type of manipulation allows parents to get away with literal murder of their autistic offspring, such that if you google "parent kills kid who has autism" or something, practically every article talking about such a murder has comments sections full of people saying things about how you'd understand why those poor parents would want to murder their autistic kid if you were in their shoes, and how the lack of services makes them worry so much they had to kill their kid.  No, I'm sorry, lack of services means that you should be willing to advocate for those services, not use that an excuse to treat your kid like a rabid beast who has to be put down. And besides, if you autism parents can pull heartstrings the way so many of you do engendering sympathy for murder and waltzing right into communities of actual autistic people to shit on them and silence them, I'm sure you can use those emotional manipulation skills to aid you in advocacy work. (Not you personally, I mean those shitheads who do things ranging from what that mom did to you all the way up to actual murder). You even get things like the parents in this article (http://autistext.com/2017/03/04/autpocalypse-then-autpocalypse-now/ ) talking about how if their son's autism didn't go away, they might have to kill him, at which point the son's autism went away and the parents blamed the autism on a "cerebral milk allergy" which, as we all know here, is a bullshit disease and that of course if you discuss the possibility of killing a kid for being visibly autistic, that kid is likely to hide his autistic behaviors because his life depends on it. Duh. But of course, a little thing like reality isn't going to stop them from selling alternative medicine to treat something that, in actuality, was visibly and abusively "treated" by putting the kid in fear for his life. And it is clear from the quotes of those parents in that article that those are not the words of parents at their wit's end (which, of course, is the impression "autism parents" who murder their kids often successfully give to a lot of people when they talk about how people need to "walk in their shoes"). Those words are far too cold and calculating for that, and are simply abuser words.  

Me  So, she was most likely telling the truth about having an autistic son, and she treated him like shit. Go figure. Just like every other "autism mom" out there. They do have a habit of presenting themselves as holy figures. Really, I feel sorry for that kid.  

Captain Cassidy Wielder of the Banhammer  I'm glad to take your word on it--though sad for the son. Probably would have been a way better idea for her to contact the company in writing and just ask for the donation before signing up for anything. They might even have granted it then, who knows... But signing a contract and accepting a huge entertainment package like that, then unilaterally deciding not to pay because she felt she'd earned enough Autism Sympathy Points? Not a good plan. And offering a child a channel on a package she knows for 100% certain she can't afford to pay for monthly doesn't sound like she was thinking with portals at all.  

Me  No, she wasn't. though I bet her taking an expensive package and working it into that kid's routine would win her massive sympathy points when her kid inevitably gets upset because his routine is disrupted due to the fact he can no longer see that show. So then she can use that as yet another example of how autism ruined her life (and yes, she would say it was her life that was ruined even though her kid is the autistic one). Seriously, though. Don't incorporate shows you can't afford to keep into an autistic kid's daily routine - it's a real pain in the ass to have a routine disrupted without warning. I know that from personal experience. If your kid really likes that particular show, it would be more responsible to get DVDs of it if available, or else have it be something that you specially plan - do the latter if you can't get the DVD because that way the show falls under the category "special treat" and isn't incorporated into a daily routine. But I guess advice like that is not going to go over well with people who use their kid's autism as a way to fish for sympathy. God for-fucking-bid they do anything that will genuinely reduce their kid's difficulty rather than win them sympathy points, especially since they are also doing things that make it harder for autistic people and those parents of autistic kids who actually want to make it easier for their kids and are willing to fight on their kid's behalf rather than using autism as a vehicle to fish for sympathy.  

Captain Cassidy Wielder of the Banhammer  It definitely gave her something to keep her days busy. I got the feeling she'd done this to a lot of other companies for a lot of other services and goodies and did a lot of phone errands to keep the gravy train and sympathy brigade moving.  

Me  And strung her son along in the process with repeated, unnecessary, and jarring interruptions to his routine, rather than finding things within his interest area that he liked and that she could consistently provide (i.e. a one-time or few-time DVD purchase in lieu of scamming expensive TV packages). Seems that she cared more about getting the goodies for herself and exploiting her son's plight in order to do so, while making it worse for him, rather than making sure that both she and her son were able to have nice things she didn't need to scam people to get. And she probably saddled her son with a huge burden of guilt for getting attached to those goodies that weren't really his in the process, although it was in no way his fault that his mom brought in those things and let them be incorporated into his routine knowing damn well she might not be able to give her son consistent access to them (again, a disaster for a lot of autistic kids) rather than making them "special treats" as she should have done, while giving him things he could consistently use for his routine (like the aforementioned DVDs). Getting goodies for oneself is okay (yes, I know that parents have a lot of reason to be stressed), just get goodies you can reasonably afford, for you and your kids, and don't use your kid to bilk people out of goodies like that woman did.   

Captain Cassidy Wielder of the Banhammer  Jeez, yeah, 100% this. I'm glad you brought that up because I guess I hadn't even realized that the son might feel guilty about any attachments he formed to the TV channel in question. I see why parents like that are looked down on. That's a lot to saddle a child with, and none of it's his fault at all.  

Me  I figured the son might feel guilty about this because I have felt guilty about similar things outside my control (like feeling so guilty about benefitting from the use of fossil fuels that I once went through a phase of basically denying climate change and hanging on to the hope of a magical solution so that the guilt wouldn't drive me nuts, especially since I couldn't realistically check out of use of technology, and this was before renewable energy sources looked as feasible as they do today)

Exchange over.

Bet I’m not the only autistic who would feel guilty about getting attached to something that people have gotten through ill-gotten gains. I mean, sometimes we do need to apply this in a socially aware way (like when talking about white privilege) but this isn’t one of those things. And even when it is a good idea to acknowledge this, it does not mean people should have to be ashamed of getting attached to something. Recognizing problematic elements and being ashamed of getting attached to something are not the same thing. But in this case, if the son did feel guilty, his mom would probably encourage it - heck, the tricks she used to manipulate Captain Cassidy, mentioned in the first comment, are exactly the sort of thing that would feed guilt and shame in a totally destructive way - his mom is portraying the situation in a way that would make the son feel like it is all his fault he gets deeply attached to things.

Seriously, how else are you supposed to feel when your mean mom is on the phone to a company desperately saying about how you will knock your head against the wall so hard you end up in the hospital if you can’t have the show you’ve grown deeply attached to? Of course you would feel guilty and absolutely sick with yourself - you don’t leap to thinking it’s your mom’s fault and that she could have skipped the fancy package and/or gotten DVDs of the shows or a TiVo to record your shows instead if she wanted you to have the shows - both options would be 100% cleaner, and a lot more likely to be able to continue, than scamming a company out of the fanciest packages the companies offer (which companies will likely cut you off from when they find out anyway, and in this particular case it would not be a dirty trick on the part of the company to do so since the company is not breaking any promises in that case). Especially since yes, companies are unethical a lot of the time, and yes, there are a lot of things companies should not deny, but that does not mean that people should be using children to scam said company. And they shouldn’t be humiliating their kids in public like that either. Period.

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thewhimsicalfairy · 5 years ago

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DAY 0 - a chronological documentation of this non-relationship

right from the start, i told myself, i told everyone who would listen/knew that i was just not gonna take this too seriously...

as with all online dates, they have a tendency to drop off or i have a tendency to lose interest very quickly but somehow you stuck around, yet i still refused to entertain the idea that there might be something...

2 May: we connected on CMB, you were very open about your history which i listened with an open mind and appreciated you for being open and honest about it...

we traded numbers since the chat was closing and then continued chatting from there...

22 May: met up ftf for the first time at Oasia Hotel's Marmalade Pantry, someone was in grey tee (knitted i believe) and camou pants haha the convo flowed and all but still it was just like any other first dates i've been on, always keeping my expectations in check... you surprised me with sandwich choices though, promising to bring me a jar of the infamous peanut butter from Amsterdam (from your upcoming work trip) and proceeding to hand me a box of 2 nicely wrapped sandwiches, one creamy and one non-creamy version, both with the crusts off. it showed me you were meticulous and caring...just noting your good qualities... before we parted ways you asked if we could be in touch...i said sure being the cool girl that i am...

1 June: we continued texting non-stop, rapid-fire style, playing 20 questions...asking all the right and wrong questions...we’d already escalated to sexting by then...and then you left for Amsterdam. truth be told i had this crazy urge to run to your office area to bid you farewell prior to you leaving for your trip...like give you a hug or something...but i reined in that crazy bitch. we continued texting all the way till you boarded your plane and then you asked me to send you my picture. i've received such crazy requests before and i was kinda wary but i took some anyhow (ok more like a lot) and then proceeded to ponder whether to send or not for the next 50min or so...as well as ask the Internet gods 'what does it mean when he asks for a photo' (to varying degrees of responses) you even noticed my absence when i was busy taking photos but i sent 1 in the end after i confirmed that u were not gonna be doing anything funny to it (not sure if i’m supposed to be flattered if anyone wanks off to my photo but anyway)

and then you sent me yours just like that (and it is still my favourite photo of you to date haha)...and promised to text the moment you land and all...you were very responsible with your words then...

1-7 June: you were in Amsterdam for work but it was as if i was just right beside you on this same trip cos the texting never let up despite the time difference. you would send me pictures of everything that you were doing, eating, ootds, everything and there was no stopping the conversations... and still you reeled me in...

13 June: we met up for a 2nd time, this time at Pagi Sore (100am) and depsite constant texting, it felt a little awks nonetheless to be meeting ftf after so long so everyone was still kinda on our best behaviour haha (but i'm always well behaved) and you presented me with the gifts you got for me at Amsterdam (the peanut butter as promised) and fancy chocolates that you picked up at the airport. confirmed mentally that gift giving was defo one of your top love language. and still you reeled me in...

and we texted some more, non-stop, impromptu lunches in between and i'd happily skip out of office just to hang out ditching the girls (resulting in the girls just saying how about i let them know when i would be next joining them for lunch =x)

20 June: dinner and drinks at Westin's Cook & Brew...this was kinda like the night you will provide a tell-all on your past relationships - and tell you did (a terribly colourful dating history if i may add) and the night went on... we continued on with more drinks at the outdoor bar area...normally it would've been a good idea but that night it was terribly windy and i was kinda chilly despite the alcohol warming me up so i was glad to have my jacket with me (the same one i wore to our first date you noted). and then it started to rain and we had to move back indoors but we didn't attempt to leave even though i was already feeling buzzed... not before long the bar had to close so i had to down my wine in a quick shot and we left...and took a roundabout walk to around the area on a bench and talked some more we both agreed the night would have carried on if not for the fact that tomorrow was still a working day... the question of what we were looking for came up (i asked this question first) and you said you were just looking around... we got home on separate taxis and i made a mental note of your response and that you hadn't made a move on me yet so i was relatively clear on where i stood on this (meh's advice, especially after watching 'He's Just Not That Into You') - you were basically not interested hah so i managed my expectations and thought well a least it has been interesting...when we got home...you did text to say you did notice my choice of outfit (my all time favourite slip dress really)...pity you didn’t manage to take a good look at the cowl back...

29 June: you finally asked me out on a weekend...actually i did casually mention to you that my mom was wondering why this guy i was seeing never asks me out on weekends...and if he’s got a family and all that’s why weekends are off-limits...(a mother’s intuition can be so spot-on but clearly it’s way more complicated than that...anyhow...) and i was ecstatic to say the least even if it was a date that was made that same day...tbh i was inclined to decline cos i don’t really do impromptu dates in general...(like please respect a girl’s time even if i don’t actually have solid plans...vegging at home and netflixing is kinda like a plan ok...)but i okayed it and just had to check what was the general plan cos a girl’s gotta dress for it you know...you brought me to the Ford Musuem having known that i am a sucker for museums covering the history of the war...even though you actually only went recently but you still accompanied me through it...it was also then you realised that i don’t carry my IC with me cos entry was free for SGreans...truth be told i have been to the Ford Musuem...but that was a few years back and i didn’t quite mind rehashing the place again (FOC why not right) they might have updated the exhibits and the experience would have been different with you...and rightly so cos there was so many times when you had your back towards me i wanted to give you a back hug...that you liked receiving them came up several times while we texting...but i never acted on it haha cos i didn’t want to seem i was throwing myself at you...a girl’s gotta to keep her pride in check you know...

after Ford you drove us to Punggol area just to show me the nice relaxing eating space...but we didn’t actually have dinner there lol...we moved on to Punggol Settlement to dine at White Restaurant...the only place you will eat bee hoon cos that placed is famous for it and with good reason cos the food is genuinely good...we had quite the spread, other than the bee hoon we had prawn paste chicken and sambal kang kong :))) happy camper that night cos i appreciate a good meal...i paid for dinner since you were so sweet to drive us around that was least i could do...back in the car you asked if i needed to head home...but i was up for anything...so you suggested a drive and asked if i had been to Jewel since it opened and i hadn’t so we ended up there...

and we continued texting...

1 July: we met for lunch at the Nasi Lemak place opposite Realty Centre (which has since died) and post-lunch i was saying how i was concerned that my hair would smell and all (cos indoor seating with the food cooking inside doesn't make for a great combination) and you reached out and smelt my hair...that was the single most intimate move that i'd ever received and then before we parted you pulled me into a hug and i just went for it... like i didn't do the a-hug or half hug kind of bullshit but a full on body to body contact hug...and it felt nice...i think my mind kinda stopped processing whilst we were hugging but yeah i really really liked the smell of your cologne since then another fact: i was so turned on from that hug my panties were basically soaked; i had to wear my dress the wrong way round so that it wouldn't look like i stained myself... you had that kind of an effect on me...and i think my walls came tumbling down...

4 July: dinner at a Suntec's Unagi place (your choice since we didn't want to deal with the queue at Man Man) and apparently you took off early that night to pick up your car... someone wanted to drive us to some place nice after... i saw that there was 1-for-1 happy hour on the highball and you okayed it even though you were driving

you drove us Marina Barrage and there you said that you liked me and wrapped me in your arms when you said it and i was in a complete daze i mean i was aware that there was something brewing but i wasn't sure of the signs and i've been very wary about 自作多情 so i just maintained whatever it was we had and then this confession...you said i clearly liked you otherwise i wouldn't be hanging out with you which was true and then you asked what was it that i liked about you as you wrapped me in your arms again and i was genuinely at a loss for words...i've received confessions before but never one where it was clearly mutual and in such an intimate setting...the wordsmith basically decided to quit on me and i struggled to find the right words i settled for ‘you make me feel safe’ and that was the absolute truth...i never doubted your intentions before as you were always so honest and forthcoming with the situation back at home and even when you said you couldn’t make this official not until your divorce is finalised in Dec...when in reality not many people around you know about us i accepted it...i trusted you completely... and you took your hand in mine and it was the interlocking kind...and my heart felt all kinds of things it has never felt before... another fact: again super turned on by the hug we shared, panties were soaking wet again but thank god for panty liners otherwise it'll be a different walk of shame for me... i really liked it when you placed your hand on my bum (it felt good somehow), and i definitely felt a boner somewhere...

5 July: dinner and movie (...) i was kinda sad when the night ended, i didn't want it to end cos i always enjoyed our time together, there wasn't enough time anyhow and i gave you a peck on the cheek cos that was all i could muster at that point before we parted...

(...to be continued...)

basically once the touch barrier was broken, i wanted to touch you so badly all the time. literally ALL.THE.TIME. even if it was just stolen moments at Donki i gave you backhugs and random kisses and hand holding...i couldn't get enough... i confirmed one of my top love languages was touch and i wanted to communicate that thoroughly...you meant that much to me...

x x x

and as much as you are wont to admit it, i was defo a rebound, all the signs pointed to it and and it still tears me up inside i basically became collateral damage as you tried to seek solace from the pain... the Heartbreak Spotify Playlist is definitely not helping my case but it’s like beating a dead horse right...you just keep going at it until you’re numb i suppose...but i had no idea how i could relate so much to these songs till now it’s pretty crazy...some favourite tracks that can set me off right now are: Camila Cabelo’s Consequences X Ambassadors’ Unsteady Birdy’s Skinny Love

#post break up #heartache #행복한 시간

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furederiko · 7 years ago

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September 1st!!! And it's the first (of hopefully more) Random-News-Digest of the month...

Quick update before I start! Nope, my situation hasn't really improved since last time. Things are still going haywire and uncertain on my part. Which means I'm still not too sure if I will be able to post more frequently this month as well. But this is a NEW month, and I always want to start anything with a fresh and optimistic mind. So at the very least, I'm going to TRY to post more. Here's hoping... Also, expect this R-N-D to be more... 'Digest' than usual. After all, I actually decided to do this on a whimsy when I woke up this morning. You can expect things to be more shorter and compact this time around. So without further ado, let's start!!!

DC Films

The news in this category has been quite a shocker lately. Martin Scorsese wants to make a stand-alone "Joker" origin story without Jared Leto? And then there's that Leto and Margot Robbie's "Joker and Harley Quinn" movie, that is being fast-tracked to come following "Suicide Squad 2"? It's a new title that was first rumored to replace David Ayer's "Gotham City Sirens", though recent report suggests that all-female movie is STILL in development as well. To complicate matters, "Suicide Squad 2" already lost a potential director, and with Will Smith's busy schedule, it won't start production until late next year. Ouch!

Oh yeah, eventhough the movie won't arrive until April 5th, 2019, director David F. Sandberg teased that the most lighthearted DC Film movie "Shazam" will start production very soon. Yet we don't even know who's going to play Billy Batson, nor his grown-up version. While Matt Reeves is going back and forth his version of "The Batman", saying it's not part of the DCEU, and then it IS. Please make up your mind! Jon Spaihts was rumored to be re-writing "Justice League Dark", though said rumor has been cleared out by The Wrap. The irony in that, is because he was among the writer of "Doctor Strange" for Marvel Studios!!! First Joss Whedon took over Zack Snyder for "Justice League", and has officially been given a writer credit (his involvement is 33% of the movie!!!). And don't forget how Patty Jenkins used to be attached to the first Thor sequel. So Spaihts's name being thrown into the rumor zone didn't feel as 'strange'. What I'm trying to say is, I won't be surprised if more people related to Marvel Studios will end up doing DC movies for Warner Bros in the future.

Clearly, this proves that WB STILL doesn't have a plan nor idea of what they are going to do with their DC Films. A concerning truth, but is definitely far from being a surprise nowadays. I guess since the current DCEU doesn't really have a clear future (despite the success of "Wonder Woman"), WB is already thinking about creating another Universe to complement it. Perhaps, if this one works better, then they can simply erase the one that Snyder started. That's the point of "Flashpoint", right? We'll see. Yes, we'll see...

X-Men Universe

Can't believe it took this long for some people to realize that... as long as Simon Kinberg is still in charge (in ANY capacity), fans probably won't be getting the 'true' X-Men movie they have always wanted. People seems to forget that he was the writer of the disappointing "X-Men: The Last Stand", and supervised the dreaded "Fant4stic Four". Now his upcoming directorial debut, "X-Men: Dark Phoenix", which he also wrote... is already put into a giant question mark, thanks to Kinberg's recent comment.

I admit, I've grown to DESPISE the term 'grounded' in recent years, because it is (ab)used as an excuse to make shitty underwhelming products. But seriously, what good will a "Dark Phoenix" storyline get by making it... grounded? That arc is meant to be a galactic interstellar adventure, involving alien entities and otherworldly stuffs. "X3" was already its grounded version, and it did NOT work. So why bother going the same route? Is this movie 'doomed to fail' then? It's unclear. But I certainly won't be surprised if that turns out to be the case. Just remember how that grounded take on "X-Men: Apocalypse" performed...

Marvel Studios

Marvel is celebrating the late Jack Kirby's 100th birthday this week. Studio's president Kevin Feige revealed on Twitter that the upcoming "Thor: Ragnarok" is produced as a love-letter to Kirby's work. Not unlike last year's "Doctor Strange", that served as a clear tribute to Steve Ditko. Actress Evangeline Lilly also celebrated the occassion, by sharing the first official image of her character Hope van Dyne, wearing the updated Wasp suit from "Ant-Man and the Wasp".

About that last one... I totally DIG her hair-style, because Lilly always looks much better with a long hairdo instead of the one she had in the first "Ant-Man". The suit on the other hand? I'm a bit mixed. I don't know why. Perhaps because I was expecting more... yellow/gold in the color scheme? Then again, Peyton Reed and Marvel Studios might be going with Wasp's red-black scheme once again, because it's the one designed by Kirby. Especially with Janet van Dyne being in the movie (played by Michelle Pfeiffer), and the report that Michael Douglas' Hank Pym will be suiting up himself in the classic white-red costume.

The writers of "Spider-Man: Homecoming" are set to be back for the sequel! Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers are also involved in "Ant-Man and the Wasp", so there's a possibility they might end up becoming the next Markus-McFeely of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Assuming all the stars are aligned, they will reunite with director Jon Watts (who was already in talks to return) to work on the first Marvel Studios after "Avengers 4" ends the current Phase 3. Here's hoping this team will keep deliver something better, without losing that irresistible youthful and innocent charm that the first movie exuded.

Marvel TV

When this post goes up, Marvel's "The Inhumans" should be arriving in IMAX theatres everywhere. Not sure if it will be available in my country, but it's surely a definite for the US region, because ABC will begin broadcasting the series on Friday, September 29th, 2017.

According to recent report, the response to its premiere was... much positive. In fact, it's a far cry to the supposed 'disaster' that occured at the Television Critics Association Panel. Is this surprising? Well... not quite. I mean, one man's trash can end up becoming another's treasure, right? So I predict that the overall review, when it officially hits, will be mixed at best. Remember, this is still Jeph Loeb's and Scott Buck's work. Each or both have ruined a show (or two, if we count that much-anticipated crossover that came out last month... or more if we put into account their past forays) before, so there's no assurance that they won't strike again. But I'm honestly glad to hear some people actually enjoying it. Hey, there's one for everyone, right?

As for me, as I said before, I personally won't be seeing this on the theatres. Based on the lackluster trailers and underwhelming clips released so far, I'll have to give it a hard pass. Beside, considering my current financial issue, wasting money for uncertain things can be considered 'suicide' anyway. I'll probably going to hold back on watching the series as well, until the reviews for all episodes are out. Thanks to my doozy experience with the recent Netflix 'crossover mini-series', I'm going to be extra cautious with Marvel TV now. Because really, spending 8 hours for a boring and/or disappointing show felt like a tremendous waste of time. Doing so isn't going to do me any good.

QUICK UPDATE: Embargo for the full reviews hasn't been lifted when I wrote and upped this essay into queue. Those reviews have been made available NOW on various sites, and well... turns out it's as BAD as many initially said. Since I'm too lazy to modify the entire category (although it's only 3 short paragraphs LOL), this note will do just fine as a follow up. My original writing sounded more 'positive' anyways. LOL.

Meanwhile, things are looking A LOT better for Marvel's "Runaways". It seems response for the first episodes was more than great. It is currently being praised as very faithful to the source material, despite its various 'tweaks' (for example, one character was a mutant in the comic, but the copyrights prevent that to exist in live action adaptation). Not that it should be a surprise anyway. When the writer of the comic is directly in charge as consultant, we know that at least things are going to be close to the comics. Might this be the Marvel show to wait for this year? Probably, but I digress. I'm still going to be approaching this one with extra caution. If recent Marvel TV shows are any indications, then we can't really expect it to be... evenly balanced. Some of them had okay to good run in the first half, only to falter into a massive dud in the later half. Yes, even "LEGION", and the 4th season of Marvel's "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.". They started out strong, but ended rather... disappointingly. Considering the same people behind them are also supervising this, said similar treatment can also apply to "Runaways"...

Netflix

It's already September, and I haven't finished Marvel's "The Defenders" yet. How come? The mini-series surprisingly BORED the hell out of me! A full review for it was meant to go up as my first post of September (yes, this R-N-D is its last minute replacement). That's the initial plan anyway, because I still haven't seen the last two episodes. Seriously though, when you've already lost any single urge to do it, there's nothing else you can do right?

Thanks to that, the internet had already spoiled me about what's going to happen to Simone Missick's Misty Knight. I don't even need to READ the whole article to figure out what will become of her... right hand. Yes, the headline already gave it away, and my minor knowledge of the character in the comics was more than enough to lead me to said conclusion. And then the image spreading on social media solidified it. Mind you, I still don't know how or what caused her to lose that body part. My quick and easy guess? Likely by Bakuto, considering up to episode 6, Misty had only spoken with one particular supporting character from the other series: Jessica Henwick's Colleen Wing. And it's also about her... KATANA, as if it's not obvious enough. Expect Misty to be armed with a prosthetic arm in the 3rd Season Marvel's "Luke Cage".

Yep, if you're like me, hoping for a "Heroes for Hire" show that includes the Daughters of Dragon... then we might as well swallow that wishful thinking. Why? It probably won't happen until the 2nd Season of Marvel's "Iron Fist" is out. Going by math alone, that means we have to wait another 26 episodes, and at least another two years. New season for "Luke Cage" will likely arrive in 2018, while the one for "Iron Fist" might probably land in 2019. Yeah, two years indeed. This is why you can't really expect much when it comes to Marvel TV... *sigh*

"Stranger Things" released a set of character posters for its 2nd Season. They cover the returning cast, as well as the new additions. What's interesting about these posters, is the strong nod to Steven Spielberg! And being a series set in the 80s, that folded-magazine style is also pretty neat. I hope this 2nd season will be as great as the 1st, and unlike most other Netflix shows.

One more thing! It's a rather old news, but worth bringing up. Netflix is currently collaborating with TOEI Animation, to remake the popular shounen-series "Saint Seiya". Titled "Knights of the Zodiac: Saint Seiya", the new series will be created in full CG style. If you're curious on how that might look, think of it like several parts of TOEI's "Precure Dream Star!" movie that was done completely in CG, or their recent "Sekaisuru KADO" series. The latter in particular, already has a character design that's looking VERY Saint Seiya-ish (could it be intended as the warm-up to this one, then? probably). First season will be 12 episodes of 30 minutes, and will cover the "Galaxy War" to the "Silver Saint" Arcs. Yoshiharu Ashino is directing the new series, Eugene Son is the story editor and head writer, Terumi Nishii will be handling the character design, while Takashi Okazaki is doing the armors.

This news is intriguing, because it can end up heading towards into two different territory: actually good, or downright Bad. The latest "Sailor Moon" reboot that immediately divide old and new fans, is a great example of said situation. "Saint Seiya" is among the beloved titles to those growing up in the late 80s, so you can imagine their negative reactions if this remake doesn't suit their taste. The series doesn't have a fixed release date for now, but I believe we can expect it to arrive on Spring 2018. My only hope is that it retains Shingo Araki's anime style compared to Masami Kurumada's manga ones, because it has been pretty much the 'signature' of the series for the fans.

Disney XD Series

I saw the one-hour premiere of the "DuckTales" reboot not long after it aired, and great goodness... I'm LOVING it. I used to have a minor issue with the voices of the nephews before, but that concern quickly faded away when the story started rolling. It's just so engaging and fun to watch! My only complaint, is that it takes too long for the next episodes to start airing. But we're now in September, so September 23rd is just around 20 days away. Shall we start counting down for more Scrooge McDuck's adventure, then? I wonder if Disney XD will debut the first episode of "Big Hero 6 the Series" in advance too? Hmmm....

Pocket Monsters

"Pokemon GO" has been greeted by Legendary Birds Articuno, Moltres, Zapdos, and Lugia last month. Starting yesterday, August 31st, 2017, Niantic has continued the streak with the Legendary Dogs Entei, Raikou, and Suicine. Unlike the Birds, these ones are going to show up as region-based for a particular duration. Entei will be in the Europe and Africa region, Raikou in the America, and Suicine in Asia-Pacific. They will then switch places on September 30th, 2017.

This is great news, right? NOT exactly. While I DID feel overjoyed when the Legendaries were first announced, what came next was nothing more than disappointments. The fact that Niantic is focusing too much on Raid Battles to debut these special Pokemon, had caused inconveniences to some (if not MANY) of its players. Sad to say, yours truly is included in this cluster.

Here's the deal. In order to capture ONE Legendary, it first needs to be defeated in a Raid Battle. Unlike normal Raids, it's a group effort that requires around 15-20 players to be on the spot at the same time, working together to take one down. So what happens when you're a player... living in an area, that does NOT have the privilege of having at least the minimum number of players? You can only bite your nails while grunting and sighing with disappointments, because there's really NOTHING you can do. I've lost count how many 'futile attempts' I've done, singlehandedly (seriously, because there's NOBODY around) trying to defeat one. I've now arrived to the point where I simply couldn't care less about any of them anymore. Which is sad, because I was sort of hoping "Pokemon GO" would be there to help me go through my current situation. I mean, when that role has been surprisingly taken over by a repetitive, kid-oriented game called "Magikarp, Jump!"... That's saying much, right?

Of course, this shouldn't be an issue if "Pokemon GO" is still enjoyable as a single-player experience. Players who can't capture a Legendary, could still focus on doing anything else. Problem is, there's NOTHING much to do beside that. Niantic is too focused on the multiplayer 'Team Gameplay' aspect of this game, that it neglects those who play individually (whether by choice, or who are simply forced by circumstances... like yours truly). The new 'Gym System' was nice, but lately I've noticed a concerning trend: the turnaround has gradually becoming very slow. Many Gyms in my area, have Pokemon with ZERO motivations. Worse, they are stranded there for days (I can personally attest to this, because mine are among them!). That means many players no longer visit the Gyms. To put it simply, this game is just not... FUN anymore for everyone. Only for the 'privileged'.

Niantic can actually fix this, by start releasing Generation III as soon as possible. Adding a horde of new Pokemon, even if not all of them (honestly, releasing 10 new species per month would be a fun options), will give these 'unfortunate players' a renewed 'purpose' to go out and play the game. Otherwise, it's really a dry boring-ish land. IMHO, Niantic could and should've tried another method with the Legendary Dogs by... I don't know... letting them in the wild, like what happened in the core "Pokemon Gold, Silver & Crystal" games. Then again, it's probably too much to ask for. I mean, Niantic doesn't even allow something as simple as having these Legendaries added as silhouettes to the Pokedex after encountering them. And that's the only thing I've been hoping for... *sigh*. For now, unless Niantic shakes things up big time, my days with the App is numbered. And I'm going to be just another entry to the long list of players who have already walked out due to disappointments...

One more thing for "Pokemon". A quick detour to the TV side! Kanto Gym Leaders and Satoshi's former travel companions Kasumi and Takeshi (or Misty and Brock in the US version)... are coming to Alola this month!!! Many fans are obviously pleased to hear this! After they have been unceremoniously snubbed in the 20th Anniversary movie "Eiga Pocket Monster, Kimi ni Kimeta!", they are set to show up in the series instead. Takeshi in particular, is the character I've been waiting for. After all, his VA Yuuji Ueda is still a crucial part in the series as the voice of Sonansu/Wobbuffet, so he could actually show up a lot more! This pair will be making their Alolan guest appearances on the September 14th and 21st episodes. Which got me thinking: How awesome will it be if Satoshi's other travel friends show up at the same time too, right?

Street Fighter

"Street Fighter V" has welcomed its 5th DLC character for Season 2. As speculated and rumored before, it's indeed Menat, the Eyes of the Future. She is also confirmed to be the apprentice of Rose, by the way. This makes her the first completely NEW character to the franchise, because Kolin, Ed, and Abigail have all showed up before in other games. Judging from her quick and... arguably pointless appearance in Ed's Story Mode, Menat has a fantastic Egyptian-themed design. The mummy queen alternate costume however? Yeeesh. You can check out her reveal trailer online, or you can just get her right away because she's already available since early this week.

Menat's arrival after Abigail, pretty much confirms the identity of the 6th and final DLC character: Guy's teacher, Zeku. His name was already leaked before by Event Hubs' Flowtron, and his report has been proven to be on point until now. So I guess all we need to wait is CAPCOM's official announcement, right? Seeing the release pattern (Ed on May 30th, Abigail on July 25th, Menat on August 29th), we can probably expect this last Season 2 character to arrive later this month, if not late October. So tell me, are you excited about Zeku?

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