#(but that's also because the emotional effect it had to me at the mental state i was in and all that so that's kinda unfair lol)

[jewishcissiekj]

am I the only one who doesn't love Amazons Attack (2023)? it's fine and I don't hate it but it's just continuing on the same line Wonder Woman comics have been walking for the past few years to me. plus the art doesn't fit it at all and makes it annoying to read for me (good art, I just personally don't like). like, what's the big deal?

[sundrop-writes]

Trouble Is...

Thomas (The Maze Runner) x Fem!Reader

All that I know is I just can’t say ‘no’ to you,

Funny how things never change.

All that I wanted was just to get over you.

Trouble is - I can’t find a way.

You’re part of me.

Trouble Is - you’re part of me.

Summary:

Now out of The Maze, everyone is enjoying their newfound sense of safety. Everyone except for Thomas.

He can’t enjoy the soft beds or the clean clothes or the food, because he’s too worried about you. You’re quarantined off somewhere else (presumably with other girls), and he hasn't seen you in days.

When he finally sees you, he’s too thankful to question why the two of you are put in a room alone together. Too thankful to question the mysterious smoke that’s pumped into the room. Too thankful to question why the door is locked.

Thomas (TMR) x Fem!Reader. Friends to Lovers. Smut/PWP. Sex Pollen. Set during The Scorch Trials. 

Word Count: 7,900

The Maze Runner Masterlist | AO3 Link

Full list of warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: general warning that any and all TMR fics I write will be based on the movies and not the books, so any lore inaccuracies can be blamed on that; also this is a YA series, but DoB was in his 20s when he played Thomas, so for our purpose, these characters are aged up to at least 19 or 20; often sex pollen comes with a dubcon warning, but I’m not sure that applies here - these characters have a great deal of pre-existing affection for each other (I might even go so far as to say that they are in love), and they would have intensely enthusiastic consent, even without chemical enhancement; the reader does have some mental hesitation when she feels the pollen taking effect, but it’s not because she doesn’t want to have sex with Thomas, it’s because of PTSD from WCKD and feeling suspicious towards them (and when Thomas assures her that he will ‘take care of her’, she enthusiastically consents to having sex); warnings for unethical science because our characters do not know that they are part of a science experiment and have not consented to have these chemicals used on them (but that is just the canon of WCKD); the reader character has a vagina and uses she/her pronouns; this fic DOES USE Y/N; this fic uses the beautiful age old trope that the reader character was the only girl in The Maze; mentions of the mental and emotional effects of isolation - the reader has been isolated from everyone else since leaving The Maze and Thomas is the first of her friends that she sees in days; this is mostly just smut with very little plot; because of the canon, both characters have had their memories erased and theoretically might be virgins or might not be virgins (yes, in the book, they were put into the Maze as ‘children’, but as I said, for my purposes, everyone is aged up) - so I am not explicitly stating if this is their first sexual experience or not, but this is their first sexual experience as a couple/first sexual experience with each other; as mentioned before, the main point of this is sex pollen - in the form of a mysterious sci-fi chemical compound that is injected into a locked room by WCKD as a part of a random experiment; scent kink - Thomas loves the way Reader smells (and has since long before being dosed with sex pollen); orgasm from clit stimulation through clothing; oral sex - reader receiving; hair pulling - Thomas receiving; unprotected penis in vagina sex; there is NO breeding kink here (the characters aren’t motivated or turned on by the idea of having a baby); there is creampie kink - Thomas does not pull out, and the characters are turned on by the idea of him cumming inside of her; Thomas is very possessive in this fic (but it’s almost unconscious, as a need to keep the reader safe, not in a jealous or romantic way); cockwarming - they fall sleeping while Thomas’s cock is still inside of the reader; the ending is slightly bittersweet (it’s implied that the reader is kidnapped/hurt by WCKD, but not explicitly stated). I believe that’s all for this short fic.

A/N: I am genuinely surprised that it took me this long to write and post a sex pollen fic, because it's absolutely one of my favourite tropes ever to read. WCKD is such a perfect backdrop for a sex pollen fic - shady unethical company that does weird science experiments - it's just too fitting. I have a few more sex pollen fics in my drafts that are yet to be finished, but I can definitely see myself writing a lot more of this trope because it was so much damn fun lmao. I will squeeze it into any fic universe that I possibly can. I love tropes that make things hornier than they should be - sex pollen, fuck or die, hate sex. All of it. Anyway - I hope you enjoy the fic, especially those of you who have been waiting for this fic in particular!!

...

Thomas was going insane. 

At least - that’s what it felt like. Sure, escaping The Maze had been a victory. Being rescued by the military and being taken to a (supposedly) safe place was, for all intents and purposes - a victory. 

But there was one detail that Thomas was hung up on that nobody else seemed to care about. While everybody else seemed content to go about their ‘new’ everyday lives - sleeping in the dorms, eating in the cafeteria, going through the barrage of medical tests without question - you were missing. And apparently, Thomas was the only one who seemed to care. 

Perhaps that was an exaggeration, seeing as the other boys from the Glade had known you longer, and they were likely worried about you silently because you were a dear friend to them. But it certainly felt like Thomas was the only one who was anxiously awaiting your return. 

When Thomas had come out of the Box, terrified, clueless, panicked - you had been the first person to be truly kind to him, rather than laughing at his blundering confusion. Every single time there had been an argument, you had stepped between him and Gally, making yourself known as a calm, motherly force that the other boys listened to - more out of habit than fear. 

You were a kind leader in the Glade that everyone respected, because you had earned their respect. Not because you bullied them into following you or even because you wielded some kind of natural seniority over them like Alby had. You were kind and sweet, and all the boys responded to that. 

Thomas had been surprised to learn that you had been one of the first people ever to come out of the Box. The second ever, according to Alby. You had such a strong, long-standing friendship with Alby, such a close bond with him. When Thomas saw the tears that streaked your face when you thought that Minho and Alby weren’t going to make it back before the doors closed was likely the number one thing that motivated Thomas to go dashing inside. He had wanted to rescue your closest friend for you. Some signal, some blaring siren inside him that screamed that he would do anything for you, that he needed to protect you. 

It was the same thing that caused him to hold you tight when you saw Alby slowly dying from the poison of the Griever’s sting, letting you cry on his shoulder. The same thing that drove him back into The Maze, looking for a way out. A deep longing to escape, to find a better home for you. 

And now, he was going more insane with each passing minute that you weren’t in front of his eyes. He was being driven out of his mind with each moment that your hand wasn’t grasped tightly within his own. Each moment that he couldn’t see you, feel you, hear your voice and know for certain that you were okay - it was slowly driving him mad. 

When the group had first arrived at this facility, this supposedly safe place - you had been ushered away from the rest of the group, viciously torn out of Thomas’s arms. His grasp on your hand the whole time had been bordering on melting his flesh into your own, and he was surprised when you had been the one to relax your hand out of that grip and give him that same soothing voice you did when he got into fights with Gally - telling him that it would be okay, that you would ‘catch up with them’ later. 

Thomas had wanted to kick and scream - he had wanted to yell, complain, protest about you being separated from everyone. He wanted to put up a fight about you being separated from him. But Minho clamped a hand on his shoulder and advised him to ‘shut the hell up’, clearly not wanting to upset the fragile peace they had established. Not wanting to disrupt the safety they had so freshly claimed. 

So Thomas kept his mouth shut - for now. It was for the greater good of the group. Everyone was bathed, clothed, fed, sleeping in warm beds. But he couldn’t help but to feel strange that he was the only one worried about you when they hadn’t seen you in days now. 

Minho simply assumed that girls weren’t allowed to co-mingle with guys in this new facility - and maybe he was right about that. But something about the whole thing just felt off to Thomas. It kept him on edge and kept him from sleeping more than an hour or so most nights while the other boys slumbered peacefully around him. 

On this particular day, Thomas was in the middle of picking at his meal, scoping out the area, theorizing if he could sneak past the guards somehow. If he could get past them, he could venture down any number of the hallways that they hadn’t been to before in order to look for you. He had all this romping through his mind at a break-rate pace when someone came up behind him - tapping on his shoulder and breaking him from these thoughts in a way that utterly startled him. 

Thomas whipped his head around to find one of those anonymous masked soldiers standing behind him. 

“Thomas?” 

He nodded in response.  

“Come with me.” 

Thomas wanted to question it, and when he looked back across the table, he saw Minho, Newt, and Fry looking at him with concern - but he gave them a gentle nod and rose from his seat to follow the man. Something in his gut told him that this might finally lead him to you - that his patience would finally pay off. And he wouldn’t risk that by throwing an emotional fit now. 

He followed the man through a door he had never been allowed to touch before, down a long hallway, through another set of doors, and down several more long hallways - Thomas memorized the twists and turns as he had done with The Maze. First left, then right, then another left. It felt like they had been walking for too long, and Thomas had to wonder just how large this building was. 

Just as Thomas was starting to feel truly on edge, the man came to a stop in front of a seemingly random door - one with a number on it. 708. He reached out, turned the handle, and opened the door. Then he nodded toward it. 

“In.” He said, giving Thomas a simple, brute instruction to get inside. 

Thomas was anxious and hesitant, but he pushed back those feelings - and he ended up being so glad that he did. 

When he stepped inside, he was overjoyed to see you. 

You were sitting on the edge of the bed (it was a room that, upon closer inspection was more like a one room prison cell - with a single bed, a single a toilet in the corner, and a small metal desk with a chair in the other corner) - you looked up when you saw movement in the doorway, having no clue what was coming next. 

Your entire face lit up with intense joy when you saw Thomas. 

“Thomas!” You cried out his name with intense relief, emotional tears quickly springing up in the corners of your eyes as you jumped off the bed and rushed to greet him.

“Y/N,” He breathed out your name like a prayer, his arms opening wide for you as they had been many times before. 

You were quick to fall into the hug, tightly wrapping your arms around his strong torso, not wanting to let him go anytime soon. You had just been escorted back from your daily shower and your fresh clothes were still clinging to you with wetness, but he definitely didn’t mind the feeling of your damp skin under his hands. He didn’t care if you were getting his clothes wet because it was you. 

It only truly hit you now how utterly terrifying the past few days had been. Going from your home in the Glade to such a strange new place, being ripped away from everything you had ever known. Alby’s death, Chuck’s death, Gally’s death - your friends dropping like flies. Being brought here and being ripped away from the safety of your friends, ripped away from the last people you knew and being completely isolated from them, not knowing when you would get to see them again. 

Thomas’s tight hold around you - the familiarity of his body surrounding you, making you feel safe, it was something that made you realize how truly alone and scared you had been over the past few days. It made you realize that you had been swallowing down all of your emotions in an effort to protect yourself. It made you realize how much you truly cherished his hugs. How much you truly cherished him. 

“I was so worried about you.” Thomas breathed out, clearly making a heaving effort not to cry himself. 

You let out a gentle sob into his chest and he rubbed your back, trying his best to comfort you. 

“It’s okay.” He assured you. “It’s okay - I’m here now. I’ve got you. I’m not gonna let you go ever again. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, Y/N - I swear.” 

Unconsciously, he was promising these things more to himself. He felt like a failure for letting you out of his sight in the first place. He had no clue what they had done to you that had made you so upset, and he cursed himself for not being with you in order to protect you from it. Even though he didn’t know what ‘it’ was, it was stupid for letting anything bad happen to you. 

If either of you had been paying more attention, less caught up in the heightened emotions of the reunion, then you would have noticed the door sealing shut behind Thomas. You would have noticed the heavy ‘click’ of the lock as both of you became trapped there. But you had each other back now, and you couldn’t exactly care where you were in those moments - as long as you were in each others’ arms. 

“What happened?” Thomas demanded sharply, pulling away from the hug slightly in order to put a hand on your chin, forcing your tear-streaked gaze toward his, hoping to get the truth out of you. “What did they do? What did they do to you?” 

His energy increased in franticness the longer he went without an answer, staring at the sadness in your eyes with a knot forming in his stomach. 

“Nothing.” You quickly replied, feeling as though this was the truth. 

They hadn’t done anything to you. At least not anything that was outwardly malicious. 

They had let you shower, given you fresh clothes, fed you three healthy meals a day. And other than the medical appointments that you didn’t fully understand the point of (some of which were slightly more invasive than you would have liked), none of it was dangerous or painful. You had simply been kept in this room the whole time. You had been scared from being under-informed and lonely from not being allowed to see your friends. 

But none of that seemed like a crime. Especially compared to the treacherous deadly Grievers in The Maze. 

“Please don’t lie to me.” Thomas said quietly, his throat choked off by the intensity of the emotions - the grief he felt for your sadness, the anger he was holding back toward whoever had hurt you. (And towards himself for not better protecting you.) 

“Look, it’s nothing.” 

You assured him, reaching up and grabbing his hand, soothingly petting your fingers over his knuckles in a gesture almost too affectionate for someone you called ‘friend’. 

“Just - I was lonely. And I was scared because they wouldn’t let me see you. I was probably stuck in here, feeling all the same things you felt-” 

Thomas cut off your words by pulling you back into another crushing hug, which you eagerly leaned into, cuddling your cheek into his chest, enjoying the warmth and the safety you felt from having his arms around you again. 

“Yeah.” He easily agreed to this sentiment. And then he wondered: “Where have you been the whole time?” 

“Just here.” You told him honestly. 

You didn’t feel the need to tell him about the doctor’s appointments - even the unpleasant ones. Especially because you assumed that he and the other boys had been through the same, likely with a different doctor. 

This caused another knot in Thomas’s gut. They had been keeping you in the same tiny room, not letting you see any other people? So - Minho’s theory about you being off in some other dorm making friends with a bunch of girls had been completely wrong. 

It wasn’t outright cruel, but it made alarms go off in Thomas’s head. It made his protective instincts toward you act up again. 

“I won’t let that happen to you again.” Thomas said firmly, trying his best to be assuring, even though he knew that he had no real authority over the decision. 

He cradled your head soothingly, petting a hand over your hair in a sweet, protective way. 

“Thomas-” 

You were about to remind him of the fact that he held no power over this when a very strange sound caused your voice to shrink back into your throat as you became distracted. 

You and Thomas both became drawn to the sound, both of your heads whipping up to look at it. Immediately, you saw that some of the tiles lining the ceiling had shrunk back, making way for small metal tubes that protruded out of the walls all around the room, creating a high-pitched hissing noise as they sprayed some kind of white mist into the air. This went on for about twenty seconds before it stopped, and then the tubes retracted back into the walls and the tiles slid back into their usual place. 

… 

“Chemical compound LI69 has been distributed.”

“How long until the subjects feel the effects?” 

“Effects will be immediate. Symptoms should be noticeable in ten to twenty minutes. Desired outcome will be inevitable within twenty four hours.” 

“Good. Keep bi-hourly notes. I want a full report.” 

… 

“What - what the hell was that?” Thomas wondered aloud, frantically looking around the room where the tubes had disappeared into the walls. 

“I don’t know.” You replied honestly. “I mean - that’s never happened before. It - it was probably a disinfectant or something,” You shrugged, trying to rationalize it, trying not to jump to the conclusion that it was something poisonous or harmful. 

Thomas let go of you and whipped around to the door - panic flooded him when he turned the handle and found it locked. 

“Hello?!” He screamed, banging on the door and fruitlessly jiggling the handle. “Hello?! Assholes! You can let us out now!” 

“Thomas,” You scolded him gently - his panic naturally unsettling to you. 

You wanted him to calm down - his nervous energy was making you nervous. And you had spent far too much time over the past few days cramped up inside of this room being nervous. You wanted to simply be able to enjoy the pleasant fact of his presence after missing him for what felt like decades of loneliness. But Thomas wasn’t going to lay down and make that easy on you. 

He rushed to the other end of the room, stepping up onto the desk chair and then the desk, peering into the vent as though he would be able to find a way out through there. 

“Thomas, please - just calm down. I’m sure it was nothing.” You continued, trying to get him to calm down. 

“Nothing?” He scoffed. “It’s never just ‘nothing’ with these people.” 

This was the last thing he said to you before his mind locked in on the task, and he focused on trying to find a way out of the small room. 

He spent a few minutes trying to loosen the bolts on the vent (which wouldn’t have been large enough for either of you to crawl out even if he did get the vent cover off). So all he did was make his fingers sore fighting against the welded metal. And then he moved on to brute force - he picked up the chair and tried to simply beat the doorknob clean off. 

But again, it was something that was very well made, seemingly bulletproof. And by the time he had taken a few good swings, he was heaving with sweat, breathless, and he found it to be way too hot in the small space. 

Surely his body was boiling over from the efforts of swinging the chair around in such a small, closed space. So he placed it down and moved to take off his shirt, surprised by just how damp the fabric was, seeped with sweat already in such a short time. He balled up the fabric and began patting himself down with it, trying to get some relief on his overly heated skin. 

And then, his entire system became utterly distracted by a single, tiny sound. 

A whimper. 

He whipped his head around at lightning speed, realizing that it had been you who had made that sound - it had been your whimper. And suddenly, everything in Thomas’s body, every single one of his senses became utterly overwhelmed by you. 

The sight of you on the bed, sitting patiently, waiting for him to fetter away at whatever plan he came up with next - you looked so stunning, so breath-taking. You were covered in a sheen of sweat, obviously warmer than before - so it wasn’t just Thomas. It wasn’t just because of his exertion in trying to break out of here. 

Were they turning up the temperature in the room? Were they planning to cook the two of you as some kind of punishment? 

Yet - that thought quickly dissolved off into Thomas’s mind as a distant worry the more he looked at you; the more he drank in your slightly parted, bitten lips - so pretty, so kissable. The more he looked at the way stray hairs stuck to your flushed, sticky skin, wanting to gently wipe them out of the way. The more he admired your breasts gently heaving with each breath, your nipples sticking off through your shirt and thin bra. 

He wasn’t sure how he hadn’t noticed it before, but he could even smell you in the air. 

Your natural smell was something so prominent in the air, something so perfect he could suffocate in tight in the small space. Shamefully, that scent was something he knew so damn well, something he had memorized and treasured close when his memories of life had still been so few and his head had still been so empty. 

Hugging you those first few times, he had tucked his nose into your hair and greedily whiffed deep breaths of your scent, absolutely loving how you were sweet, soapy. Even if you were slightly sweaty from a long day of work, your natural scent was so damn perfect to him. 

It was a smell that he loved so dearly - on top of everything else that he loved about you. 

This time that wonderful scent that he knew as yours had something else underlying with it - something needy and pungent that he wouldn’t quite know yet was arousal. Your arousal. But it was bringing back that feeling of anxious insanity that he had been boiling with earlier that day. The feeling that made him practically crawl out of his own skin, feeling like he needed to get to you. Feeling like he needed to save you from some big, unseen danger. 

Here, now, being in this room with you - he still didn’t feel close enough. He wasn’t close enough to you. He still didn’t feel as though that anxious thing inside of him, calling out for you had been answered. Not yet. 

Thomas had the urge to reach out and pull you close, hold you in his arms again, but he had a feeling that he would squeeze you tight and not want to let go - and then he would lose focus on getting you out of this room and to a safe place. And that just wouldn’t do. 

“Thomas - you-your shirt…” You whispered the words on the edge of your breath, as though you were breaking some terrible secret by speaking it aloud. 

He had almost forgotten that he had stripped off his shirt in such a haste. The fabric was now clutched tightly in his shaking fist. Unconsciously, he was directing all of his energy to that point, furiously focusing on his grip to help himself resist the urge to reach out and grab you. 

He hadn’t yet noticed the way you were looking at him. 

Your eyes hungrily raking over his bare torso, scanning over every inch of him. From the muscles that bulged in his biceps while he moved, to the veins protruding in his forearms, to the trail of delicious dark hair down from his belly button that disappeared into his pants. It was a way you had never looked at him before. You had never truly noticed how Thomas - your strong, comforting Thomas - was so utterly, carnally sexy. 

He thought nothing of taking off his shirt in front of you, because it was something he had done plenty of times before. He had done it while working in the gardens with you (as a leader in the Glade, you had rotated jobs a lot, going wherever a spare hand was needed). And you certainly hadn’t looked at him with anything resembling hunger in your eyes back then. 

At least, he thought you hadn’t. 

“Sorry.” He mumbled out, worried that he had made you uncomfortable by stripping so casually in front of you. “I just find it really warm in here, too warm, it’s hot - do you find it hot?” 

He had to ask, hating that nagging heat, almost as if it was crawling under his skin - something so much different from the pleasantly warm sun of the Glade. This was a heat bubbling up from his very core, pin-pricking all over his skin from the inside out. He wondered if this was what a fever felt like. 

Was he getting sick? Was he going to get you sick?

He felt another thick bead of sweat roll down his face and he used his balled up shirt to wipe it off. 

“I guess?” You huffed out, seeming irritated. “Maybe.” 

You squirmed on the spot and let out a pained sound, something that had Thomas on high alert once again. 

“What’s wrong?” Thomas asked, purposefully locking his knees to keep himself from jumping toward you. 

If he was getting sick, then invading your personal space wouldn’t be a good idea. In fact - he made it a point to take a step back, putting distance between himself and you. But he kept his eyes locked on you, keeping a protective watch over you while his back became flush with the metal of the door. It was a pleasantly cooling sensation for a moment before the fever inside of him overpowered it - reminding him just how boiling hot he was. 

“It hurts.” You told him, your voice dissolving into a shaky, pained whine. 

Shamefully, the sound rocked Thomas, and flooded him with something that could have only been described as arousal. 

Fuck. 

The way you looked up at him with glassy-eyes, tears barely edging your waterline, clearly hot and overwhelmed yourself, squirming against the bed - trying to get some friction against your… oh. Oh wow. That realization rocked him like a ton of bricks to the head, and even more heat swelled up inside of his gut. 

You must have been feeling all the same things that he was. 

Dizzy, hot, overwhelmed - having an intense need to hold you and to be held. Brain thumping with nothing but thoughts of you, mind littered with nothing but your smell, nothing but thoughts of your skin. Willing to do anything for you at a moment’s notice. 

Thomas finally let himself flex to those needs, and raced across the room toward you - literally falling on his knees in front of you. 

If you had pain, he would fix it. He would do anything for you. 

“What hurts?” He asked, realizing that the desperation throttling his throat made it sound more like he was begging. But he was too far gone to care. “What hurts? What’s wrong? Come on, tell me. Please.” 

You were almost too incoherent to put the feeling into words so quickly, as quickly as he needed you too. You were too distracted by the sight of his big soft brown eyes staring up at you with utter worship in them - along with his pink cheeks and bits of his dark hair stuck to his face with sweat, that softness contrasted by the broad hardness of his shoulders spread across your lap. 

“Thomas-” You gasped out, cut off by his next action. 

“Y/N, please.” 

He grabbed up both of your hands, clutching them tightly in his own - and that, the first skin-to-skin contact you had felt since becoming this overwhelmed with the heat and the need - it set something off inside of you. It sent sharp shocks up your spine and made your pussy clench around nothing, sending a flood of wetness soaking into your underwear. And it made you feel too weak for your own good in that moment. 

If you lingered there for too long, you would tumble into the abyss. You would simply give into every instinct screaming inside of your body and beg for him to fuck you until you didn’t know your own name. 

And even though that was everything you had ever wanted, all you could remember wanting right then and there, especially from Thomas, the small remaining sense in your brain said that it was a bad idea. 

You let out a sharp gasp, and raced to escape the touch - you knocked your hands out of his and squirmed away from him, jumping up off the bed. Thomas let out a whine of disappointment and crumbled tighter onto his knees, wondering what he could have done to disappoint you. Knowing that he needed to do anything he could to make up for disappointing you. 

But something inside of his skull was chanting: 

She’s in pain. Make it stop. Make her pain go away. 

You know the answer. 

And while you panicked, hoping to fight against what your body wanted, hoping to delay the inevitable, the thing that Thomas already knew he wanted, Thomas picked himself up off the floor. 

All too soon, he crowded into your personal space from behind. You let out another shocked gasp as he pressed his body into yours from behind, the firm, intensely heated muscle like wall of lava engulfing you. 

This time, not letting you get away, he secured you there with a hand around your chest that was oddly comforting, making sure to pull you close and keep you close. He forced you to feel every single inch of his boiling hot body pressed right up against yours. Sweat gently sticking against you through your clothes, his hot breath huffing against your neck, and what must have been the hard bulge of his cock pressing against the roundness of your ass. 

It was all too perfect. And still, something nagged in the back of your mind that you couldn’t have that perfection all to yourself. Something must have been wrong in order for this to be happening to you. 

“Thomas,” You whined out - unsure if you wanted to tell him to get off or wanted to beg him for more. 

Instinctively, you reached up and gripped at his forearm, sinking into the security of his touch. It was soothing, in a sense, and at the same time - it drove your body mad and made the pain in your cunt so much worse. 

Any mental clarity you previously had was quickly fading. 

So much so that neither of you had the mind to piece together that this was happening to you because of the chemicals that had been sprayed into the room earlier. Not that you could do much about it now. 

Thomas leaned over your shoulder, stuffing his nose into your neck, taking in a purposeful, thick whiff of your scent. He drank you in so shamelessly now, so happy to have you in his arms, right where he wanted you - right where he needed you. He held your body so tight to his, almost crushing you in his grip in the most perfect way - as if worried you might escape if he let you move even an inch. 

Between desperate pants, he laid slick, open-mouthed kisses along your forehead, down the side of your face - lavishing you with affection, grateful and greedy now that he had you in his arms, now that he had caught you. Grateful that he had taken you from those bastards who had stolen you from him. Grateful that he had won. 

His actions left you panting wildly into the air as the heat surged within your body - this attention on your skin not being enough, but yet, your mind was too muddled with the overwhelming heat to ask for more. 

He continued kissing your skin, even nosing along your cheek before he finally gathered enough of his mind to speak. 

“I’ll help. I’ll help you, Y/N.” 

He huffed out, heaving more of his dense beautiful breath across your skin, making you whine again in return. 

“I’ll fix it. Just tell me. Just tell me what hurts. Please, tell me. I promise I’ll fix it. I can fix it.” 

His utter dedication to you was sewn into every word, clutching you tighter across the chest in a way that almost crushed your windpipe - something that made you gasp for air and nearly thank him for it, wanting to dissolve back into his hot muscles and live there, somehow still not close enough. 

“I’ll do anything for you, Y/N, I will. I’ll help you. Just tell me, please.” 

You found the fire of that dedication more enlightening than the one slowly boiling you to death from inside, and it was that - that sacred promise that had you finally giving in. It was Thomas’s sacred affection for you that finally made you feel safe to give into your body’s needs. 

You reached out and grabbed Thomas’s hand - the one hovering by his side that wasn’t keeping you trapped tightly against his chest. His fingers locked tightly in a fist without the fabric of his shirt to keep his knuckles from popping under the fury of his own grip this time. You rubbed soothingly on the back of his palm, loosening the muscles there before you guided that hand between your thighs, guiding him to touch you on your still clothed pussy, through your pants. 

“Here, Tommy.” You breathed out, your tongue feeling so fat and useless in your mouth. “It hurts here. Need your help. Need you.” 

Without a moment of hesitation, instantly understanding what you needed, sparked with even more desperation by the nickname on your lips, Thomas sprung into action. 

He began frantically rubbing your pussy through your pants - inadvertently pushing the zipper at the front of your trousers right up against your clit with the heavy weight of his palm. A sensation that made you keen out and arch back into him as though you had been possessed, harsh, amazing tingles zapping through your body from that tiny point. You threw your head back against his shoulder and relied even more on the strength of his body and the will of his grip across your shoulders not to fall down as ravenous pleasure overtook you. 

“I’ll fix it.” He huffed into your ear. 

His voice barely registered to you past the shocking beautiful pleasure he was causing between your thighs as he continued to rub your clothed clit. 

“I’ll make it better. I’ll make it all better.” 

He laid more hot, sloppy kisses against your neck and your cheek, and you could do little more than moan out loudly and squirm against him, becoming utterly lost in the sensations. You accidentally humped your ass against his cock in a way that made him growl and rub your clit even harder, even faster. It made you absolutely alight with pleasure, filling all of your senses with nothing but him. Nothing but the feeling of his strong arm working between your thighs, nothing but the scent of his sweat in the air, nothing but his quiet growls against your ear. 

“Oh, Tommy!” You moaned out. “I’m gonna-” 

Before you knew it, your body had been overtaken by the intense wave of an orgasm, something that had you crying out loudly and shaking in his arms, your body beautifully dizzy in seconds. You reached out to grip his forearm, leaving claw marks in his skin while you let out a stream of incoherent sounds as the sensations rocked you. 

“Hey, shh. I got you. I got you,” He was nothing but a sweet assurance in your ear - his dick still throbbing and utterly needy in his pants, but forgotten in favor of pleasing you. For now. 

After a few moments, he lifted his hand from between your thighs, causing a sharp whine of disappointment from you. He used this touch to force your jaw toward him, twisting your neck awkwardly to meet him in a kiss over your shoulder. It caused an ache in your neck, but you delighted in the feeling of his lips desperately clinging to your own, the chance to steal his breath.

You had thought about kissing Thomas many times before - but you had never imagined that it would be like this. 

When it was over, there was one thing that both of you knew for certain: you both needed more.

“Please, Tommy.” You breathed against his mouth as you pulled away from the kiss. “I need more. Please.” 

Every single instinct inside of him screamed to follow this order - that this was the divine answer to his existence. This was everything his life had been leading up to from the moment he had seen your sweet face after he had been pulled out of that fucking Box. 

“I got you.” He assured you. 

He then guided you back to the bed and - very hesitantly - separated his grip from you in order to make sure that you could comfortably lay down on your back. Within seconds, he was on you again, absorbing your mouth into a hot, desperate kiss while he laid flush on top of you. 

You couldn’t help but to moan into that kiss, fisting your hands into his hair, holding him tightly to you as though he was your only source of oxygen - welcoming it when his tongue forced its way into your mouth. You sucked on it and moaned around him, becoming dizzier with the heat. 

When you felt his hard cock against your thigh, feeling him jutting his hips forward to try and find some relief against you - it caused a deeper pain in your pussy, a distinct feeling of emptiness and you knew that you needed more. You knew exactly what you needed - what that ‘more’ was. 

You pulled back from the kiss to whimper against his lips. 

“More.” You pleaded gently. “Please, Tommy.” 

“Yes.” He huffed back in return. “Anything - anything for you.” 

Naturally, his hands went back between your legs, and you guided him up to the button of your pants, both of you working frantically in tandem to get your pants off this time. That nagging heat only building inside of you, something telling you that you would go insane if you didn’t get your clothes off soon. While Thomas ripped your pants down over your thighs, pulling your underwear with them, you sat up slightly and ditched your shirt, leaving you wearing only the thin cotton bra that had come with this set of new clothes. 

Thomas let out a growl when more of your delicious scent hit him. With your pants around your ankles, it was more pungent now, ripe in the air, smacking him in the face in the most perfect way. And he felt another wave of crippling heat punch him in the gut as it fogged his brain over. It was so pungent that it was ripe on his tongue and he needed more. Something in his brain was chanting at him that he needed to taste it - he needed to devour that delicious scent, the essence of you, right from the fucking source. 

With his tongue lapping at the air like a fucking dog, Thomas let out more thick, heavy breaths while he desperately tried to untangle the fabric from your ankles, trying to free you so that he could have better access to you. After a moment too long of struggle for both of your liking, he was finally able to toss it all carelessly behind him, leaving you almost naked beneath him. 

But he didn’t have a moment to marvel at the beauty of your bare body. A sight that he had imagined so many times before in his mind’s eye, snuck away into the privacy of the woods with a hand tight around his cock thinking about this exact sight - no, he couldn’t sit back and simply drink it in. 

He was a man on a mission - a man living through a years long drought and finally met with the glorious fountain that would eternally quench his thirst. 

He didn’t even question the need to put his mouth on your pussy, didn’t wonder why the thought was so prominently at the forefront of his mind. Instead, he simply pinned your legs open against the bed with his palms flat on your inner thighs and did it, chased the urge that rang through his mind so damn clearly. 

“Oh, Thomas!” 

In seconds, it was the most divine thing he had ever experienced. 

With you moaning above his head, gasping out his name, with your taste so pungent on his tongue, with your heat beating under his mouth - it was too fucking perfect to let go of. 

Thomas moaned into your pussy, pure fuzzy pleasure melting his brain between his ears, making it impossible for him to think of anything but you. His mind filled with nothing but feed me, feed me, keep me alive, you are my life. 

The thick taste of your wetness on his tongue was all he needed, all he needed to live from now on, nothing more. He could feel you squirming and fighting against him; he could feel your thighs jolting and jumping under his hands as your nerves were overstimulated. He could feel your hips bucking up into his face, smearing more of that perfect wetness across his chin and cheeks, smothering him in it - perfect, how perfect. 

He could feel the sting of you tugging on his hair but it only added to the perfect sensation of dumb dizziness that pumped through him, that made him so fucking ravenous for you. It only made him moan into your cunt louder and shove his tongue into you deeper, looking for more. 

“Oh, ugh! Tommy! Tommy!” 

You felt like you were burning alive. 

His tongue against you was horrible and perfect - doing nothing to relieve the ache deep inside of you, one that demanded to be filled. 

His tongue lapping at you so hungrily only added more terrible, sweltering heat, causing more shocks of pleasure stinging up your body with each deep pass of his tongue that he swept over you, trying to devour you whole. 

The more he moaned against you, the more he vibrated your already sore clit, making you cry out, the more he caused your body to be consumed by that deep, uncomfortable he. The more he made it near impossible for you to breathe past the moans fighting out of your lungs. 

You desperately tugged on his hair, but only got his attention when you finally fought hard enough to get words out. 

“Tommy, please!” You begged, tears spilling out of your eyes now. “Please, stop! It hurts!” 

Those words - those painful words shocked Thomas back to reality. 

Had he been selfish, drinking from your essence to satisfy his thirst without considering your own? 

He pulled back from your pussy with a wet smack that made you whimper, taking his hands off your thighs, finally freeing your legs from the tight, stretched out position. Somehow, he looked even better staring you down with those needy, wide eyes while his face was covered in your juices. 

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I-” 

“Please, just - I need you.” You choked out in reply, reaching a shaking hand toward his pants. “I need you inside me, Tommy. I need you to fix it.” 

“Yes, yes, yes.” Thomas replied, chanting to you as though answering a prayer in a place of worship, fully prepared to worship you as the goddess you were to him. “Yes, I’ll fix it.” 

He rushed to get his pants and underwear off with just as much frantic struggle, and soon he was naked on top of you. Meanwhile, you ripped off the stupid bra in order to feel the satisfying press of his bare skin on yours, something impossibly boiling hot. A feeling that had you moaning into his shoulder while you hooked your leg around his hip, urgent to get closer to him. 

Without a second of hesitation, Thomas sunk his cock inside of you. 

His cock was a searing hot rod pressing into your well-slicked entrance, making both of you white-out with the feeling for a few moments while the need and satisfaction rattled through your insides. It was what you had both been waiting for, desperately needing from the moment that mystery chemical had hit your systems. And now that you had it - Thomas’s cock deep inside of you, the perfect satisfaction of being joined, being as close as possible, your body sang with perfect relief. 

But there was still that nagging for something more. 

Neither of you would be satisfied - it wouldn’t fully be out of your systems until you both came from this. 

It was that nagging that had him gripping onto your hips, holding you still so that he could begin hammering into you, desperate to answer that nagging in the back of his skull: fuck her, take her, fill her up - she’s yours. She is yours. 

It was a feeling so utterly perfect that you instantly relaxed against him - all of your muscles melting into the feeling of his cock fucking into you so rapidly, filling you up so well. You gripped tightly at his back, determined to hold him close, just as he had done to you before. You needed to keep him absolutely close, so tight to your body while his cock filled you up so perfectly. 

“Tommy, please. Oh, oh, Tommy!” You moaned into his neck, your pussy fluttering around him as his hips stuttered. 

Overwhelmed and dizzy with the heat, from the tips of his ears to the space where his cock sunk deep into your warm pussy, drowning in wetness, he could only focus on one thing. One single mission rattling between his ears. 

Fill her up. Make her yours. 

“Gonna fill you up.” He growled back, not even entirely realizing that he was speaking these words aloud - a sacred promise to him now, the only driving force of his entire life, the thing that his entire existence hinged on. “Gonna make you so full of me. So perfect, so full of me.” 

Getting lost in your warm pussy, filling you up, making your pain go away, worshiping you. He wasn’t going to lose you again, he was going to keep you safe. He was going to keep you in his arms forever, was going to keep you safe, wrapped around his cock - forever. He fucked his hips forward harder, making a loud, wet smack continually resonate throughout the room as he tried his hardest to deliver on these promises. 

“Gonna make you mine,” He growled, his voice reaching a deep tone that you had only ever heard when he had argued with Gally - ticked off, full of rage. “Gonna keep you safe. Forever.” 

But somehow - this was different. It was a rage that was twinged with passion. 

With love. 

It was a sound that made all the hair on your body stand on end, forced a sharp gasp from your lips as it utterly rocked your body. 

You dug your nails into his back, possessively gripping the flesh, holding him tightly, trying to keep him close. Forcing him to keep his promises. 

“Yours.” You echoed back, your voice half-breath, half pure need. 

“You are mine.” He groaned in return. “Mine, mine, mine, mine-” 

He chanted this as a mantra, fucking into you harder with each utterance of the sacred word before he cut himself off with a harsh gasp, his hips stilling suddenly. 

And then - perfection. 

He pressed into you as deeply as possible, filling you up with perfect warmth, delivering on his promise. Your gut curled with a nearly painful orgasm in response, causing you to bite down tightly on the flesh of his shoulder as you moaned wildly against him. Tears leaked from your eyes as you were nearly blinded with euphoria. 

“Mine.” Thomas hummed again, almost quietly to himself, leaving a small peak on the side of your neck to compliment his point. 

Once again, just as he had done when he first entered the room, he cradled your head so softly, petting your hair soothingly. It was a deep contrast to the near rabid man who had been fucking you only a minute ago. And he gently humped his hips against you, something unconscious telling him to make sure that he fucked his cum deeper into you - nice and deep. 

The two of you stayed tangled like this, instinctively not wanting to pull away from each other, an intense need to stay locked so close. Needing to be close to the person you needed most. In an effort not to crush you with his body weight, Thomas rolled onto his side, with you still holding him tightly, with your leg still hooked over his hip, with his softening cock slightly falling out of your now messy cunt - much to the disappointment of both of you. 

(Thomas surprised himself when he shoved his hips forward, trying to get closer, trying to get back inside of you.) 

But you both felt much more at ease now. And tangled together like that, with your arms wrapped around each other, with Thomas gently kissing over your forehead and your shoulders - you both dozed off into a gentle sleep. 

… 

Thomas woke up cold and alone. 

He dressed frantically, and surprisingly, he found the door unlocked. 

He had too many questions, and had one singular mission on his mind: 

Find you, and kill anybody who had laid their hands on you without his permission.

...

A/N: Please keep in mind, this is a oneshot, and there will not be a continuation or a 'Part 2'. If you liked this fic, please consider showing me that by reblogging or commenting, but if you are going to comment, please comment about the body of work that has been written instead of asking for more. If you want to see more fics from this fandom, I will be posting more in the future, and if you want to see more things that I have already posted, I have over one million words worth of work between my AO3 (linked in my pinned post) and my Masterlist for you to enjoy. Happy reading, and I hope you have a great day!!

[muletia]

I know you said reader is just immortal for the sake fanfic and all. But hear me out on this.

Obsessed!Optimus hasn’t even thought about it. His processor would refuse to let him think about your lifespan. His spark would literally break at the idea of your life ending and leaving him for the rest of eternity.

Except, maybe one day you notice that after a long time, you haven’t gotten any older. Your skin doesn’t have any wrinkles (except those you’ve had before meeting the autobots). Your hair hasn’t gotten grayer. Nothing. So Ratchet scans you or whatever. Opti is internally freaking out. Humans are supposed to age. What’s going on?

The conclusion?

You and had Optimus fucked so much the exposure to his energon literally halted your aging. Like. It just stopped any age related damage happening to your dna/cells/body.

You topped a Prime into immortality. Bravo.

I wouldn’t even know if Opti’s spark could contain his happiness.

you are absolutely heard because I ADORE this concept!! This is exactly what I had in mind when mentioning an immortal reader.

Imagine the raw, unfiltered shock you feel when you find out that your beloved’s cosmic sperm literally turned you into a vampire. You sit there, dumbfounded, while Ratchet yells at both of you for being completely irresponsible. How could you recklessly interface without knowing how energon affects the human body on a molecular level?! Are you both so hopelessly in love that you completely lost your minds? You don’t even need to answer that because one look at Optimus — who is literally shaking with joy —i s more than enough of an answer.

In truth, Optimus’ reaction to the news of your immortality will be deeply tied to yours. If you’re terrified, realizing the countless complications that come with a vastly extended lifespan, Optimus will also react with concern for your mental state. After all, you didn’t consent to this — your immortality is a side effect that slipped into your life unnoticed.

But if you’re happy about eternal youth, Optimus will share in your happiness, even if he doesn’t outwardly show it right away. Inside, he’s overjoyed, but he’ll save the real emotional display for when the two of you are alone. Tears, lots of hugs, maybe even laughter and joy — you’ve never seen him so moved.

So yeah… you can start looking for that countryside cottage and kick off mass production of sparklings, lmao. Now, nothing stands in the way of Optimus’ eternal happiness <3

[overdressedcarp]

Honestly, I love how the plotlines with Tingyun and Wonweek in 2.7 retroactively help explain why the consecration of the Harmony affected Aventurine the way it did in 2.1.

"The consecration has weird side effects as a result of the power of the Harmony" was honestly a fine explanation in and of itself, but it's cool to get a bit more detail about why Aventurine had those encounters with his "past" and "future" selves. The memoria-induced fracturing/dissociation that Sunday describes when talking about himself and Fugue is extremely similar to what we see with Aventurine in 2.1, both in the tangible effects and the factors that make it possible.

Both Wonweek and the convocation of Tingyuns are identified as the result of a special try-not-to-laugh candy that elicits uncontrollable laughter from those who consume it. (Penaconian consumables infused with specific emotions are something the story has leaned into since our excursion with Sparkle-as-Sampo in 2.0, so it doesn't surprise me at all that a product like this would exist.)

Notably, the candy doesn't have the fracturing side effect on everyone: it works as expected for March and the Trailblazer, and presumably most of the other Dreamchasers who participate in the challenge. Sunday identifies two specific factors that caused the atypical effects for him and Fugue: vulnerable/sensitive mental state, and a fragile sense of self.

Tingyun/Fugue fractured into dozens of memory fragments -- including a younger self embodying her childhood innocence and early memories on the Xianzhou, in much the same vein as Kakavasha for Aventurine.

Sunday, meanwhile, describes Wonweek as "another possibility of me": one that embodies traits he dislikes about himself, similar to the manifestation of Aventurine's "future." Wonweek and Future Aventurine are both externalizations of negative self-talk, giving Sunday and Aventurine a sounding board to express (and push back against) their own internalized self-loathing.

It's also interesting to me that Sunday identifies tuning as the solution for such fractures, adding credence to the idea that the Harmony's consecration (which itself appears to be a form of tuning), could disrupt a fragile psyche in much the same way Sunday can use his abilities to bring someone's mind back into alignment.

To be fair, I don't necessarily think Sunday anticipated this particular side effect of the consecration on Aventurine's mind. The events of Double Indemnity highlight the extent to which Sunday misjudged him by Aventurine's own design, falling for the facade that Aventurine fed him.

Aventurine is resilient... but he is also brittle, as evidenced by Acheron's voice line about him:

This lack of a strong inner self is something that Aventurine tries desperately to distract others from seeing, through the shallow and showy outer layers he presents to the world. But Sunday describes tuning as something that actively prevents people from being able to hide their inner self (very fitting for the Harmony, an Aeon that fundamentally blurs the boundaries between the Self and the Other).

To me, this adds another layer of significance to the presence of Kakavasha and Future Aventurine: they're there because Aventurine can't hide from them while under the Harmony's influence. He's so used to lying to himself about his true intentions that his childhood innocence and his nihilism have to physically manifest in front of him in order to be heard.

Tl;dr Aventurine's experiences under the effect of the Harmony in 2.1 make even more sense in hindsight, and I love the retroactive layers that 2.7 gives to his story arc.

[thebroccolination]

IF KRISTSINGTO GO VERS—

I’m becoming more and more convinced that KristSingto’s new series is going to have a definitively vers dynamic between Tamtawan and Pathapi. If it does, I’m going to be very, very proud because it feels like the industry around them is leaning harder into the heteronormative Manly Top/Feminine Bottom angle, so we need some firm vers representation to establish that as an option.

And who better to do it than the Kings of Couples?

One of the fascinating things about KristSingto’s place in BL history is that they don’t visually match the stereotype of Manly Top and Feminine Bottom that BL fans tend to be so drawn to. Krist and Singto are roughly the same height, about the same weight, and have similar muscle mass, so a lot of who fandom assigns the Top™️ role (Singto) and the Bottom™️ role (Krist) seems like it was determined by Vibes.

Like, if you watch older KristSingto videos, Krist leaned haaard into being adorable (because he is), and Singto looked after and “protected” him (I’m mainly thinking of that one time Krist deliberately made trouble with another actor onstage and then ran behind Singto and pretended innocence so Singto would go all Scary Hazer on the other guy—they’re both ridiculous and I love them). However, that role for Singto is interesting to me because while Krist is the middle child of a very loving and supportive family, Singto doesn’t have siblings at all, so Singto had effectively zero experience in taking care of someone younger—apart from his role as head hazer in school. And yet, he’s always treated Krist so much more gently and affectionately than literally everyone else he works with, and Krist visibly adores it. Singto is and always has been someone Krist leans on for support and strength.

Sometimes literally. 👇

Personally, I’ve always had the impression that Singto felt like he was responsible for Krist, in part because he’s older and age hierarchy is a Thing in Buddhist culture, but also because they had an established senior/junior dynamic in university already. Krist is only a year younger, so he wasn’t hazed by Singto’s year, but he was part of the support team directed by Singto, so the two of them started their career together on the experience of Singto leading and Krist following.

But the thing is, since they reunited last year, KristSingto’s dynamic has noticeably shifted from how it used to be. Krist has stepped up emotionally and professionally for Singto in a big way, and the reasons for it—both explicitly stated by them and presumed by me—make me really emotional.

See, Krist and Singto were still friends during the time they were professionally apart, but they didn’t talk about work at all. So Singto didn’t see the changes Krist was going through because they were so gradual. (And honestly, even as a fan: same.) Krist had to grow and mature on his own at work because he didn’t have a partner to rely on and take the slack from him anymore. He found industry seniors to learn from, and he worked hard to develop new skill sets to keep his place. He also had to take on a lot of responsibility in his private life with his family, who he lifted out of debt and financially helps to this day. As a result, Krist is much more responsible and dependable than he used to be, and I think that’s given Singto more freedom to relax and let Krist take the lead sometimes.

We’ve gotten to see Singto leaning on Krist in a way I don’t think we ever did before, and Krist seems perfectly content to take care of him in return. In part because I think he’s always valued Singto as an irreplaceable person in his life and in part because he knows Singto was struggling in his own ways.

They’ve both been very open about their respective mental health issues, and they’ve both been to therapy, which I cannot stress enough is still taboo in many parts of Asia—especially for men. The tattoo on Singto’s arm (“save me from myself”) has deep, personal meaning for him, but Krist thought it was just song lyrics until Singto told him much, much later that it’s rooted in his depression. From how Krist talked about finding out, I think it terrified him that Singto was going through something so harrowing while they were still very much part of each other’s lives. So I think he’s been doing whatever he can to be the person Singto can go to. In his words, “Let [your friends] save you from yourself.”

Krist and Singto have both said that since resuming work together, they’ve made a much, much more concerted effort to communicate with each other than they used to. They’ve said that they never fought in the past (except for that one time), but it wasn’t because they didn’t have issues; they were working around them or ignoring them. Now, they regularly check in with each other so they can catch things in seed form before they grow, and that’s yet another sign that they’ve both matured.

Okay, so back to the vers thing.

Since “The Ex-Morning” is a meta series based on them, I think a vers direction for their characters’ physical relationship would mirror Krist and Singto’s current emotional dynamic. They were always equals in some ways, especially as pioneers of the industry who sometimes only had each other to rely on, but they’ve really, really grown into true equals now. And I think they’ve been having fun showing both dynamics in their side work:

It’s just a guess, but it feels like they’re leaning in the vers direction. And again, I think that’s sorely needed right now with the emphasis on pressuring actors to fit some kind of physical Bottom™️ role when they could just…let some khuujin be explicitly vers.

NECESSARY NOTE: None of the above is about actual sex. Sexual positions between actual people can have complex reasons behind them and you can’t tell who takes the active role just by how much taller or shorter one partner is. Everything above is strictly referring to the BL industry and series dynamics.

[time-to-yar-har]

Interesting fact, its not just your genes and diet that demine your height/growth. Your sex also plays a factor to how much you grow. AFAB people usually stop growing and reach physical maturity somewhere between their mid to late teens. While AMAB people usually stop growing and reach physical maturity somewhere between their late teen to their early 20s. (So if you ever heard the phrase "Girls mature faster than boys", there's some truth to it.)

So yes, its very possible for Luffy to get a growth spurt (or two) within a year or two and possibly get as tall as his father or grandpa.

This also explains how Roger ended up growing taller than Rayleigh. At 19 (when he met Rayleigh) Roger still had some time to grow some more.

Sometimes I think the people in one piece are like lobsters, they just keep growing until they die like how else do you explain fucking 22 feet tall whitebeard

no honest to god why do they just GROW like even the women as well everyone just gets huge 😭😭

[imthepunchlord]

Which one do you like more and why: Miss Ayase or Okarun?

That's hard as I genuinely really like them both.

Momo has a lot of spunk and fire to her, and she can be really funny with her dramatic antics. And while she can be short tempered and difficult, she has a lot of heart and empathy for others. Part of the reason their bond is so strong is because she saw a stranger being picked on, stepped up to protect him, and she's continued to secure his safety and having his back.

As much as she gives him a hard time and butts heads with him, Okarun's safety is always on her mind. Like, you got her taking punches from this huge alien, and she makes sure to get him to safety before she sets this thing on fire.

Okarun in turn is a genuine sweetheart and awkward fella that makes him endearing and so funny. Like, one of my favorite jokes so far is him realizing she is cute, and he's not able to handle it so he won't face her, and she is not letting him escape and so sparks off a chase all because he can't handle she's cute yet.

And between the two, I am more intrigued to see his backstory, working off that we got nothing of his family or parents yet. We just know he didn't have friends growing up until Momo, and was bullied a lot.

And you know, it kinda speaks to me quite a bit that he tolerates a lot of the bullying, but someone does a slight at Momo and it pisses him off.

And the factor that he will fight back and squabble with Momo but he won't do so with his bullies. It really adds to that he has a level of comfort with her that he'll push back.

And I'm curious on the personality change when he transforms.

Turbo Granny herself isn't really a bummed out character. She rivals Momo in temper and sass. So why does her power change him to be bummed out? At least he's not held back by the low self-esteem and slight anxiety that I see, but he trades it out to be gloomy.

Is it more on him and his own emotional/mental state? Or is this just an effect using a yokai's power can have on a human? Is it a mix of personalities and this is the apparent medium? I haven't seen anything of an actual answer to this yet, just more of speculation.

...I guess if I had to pick between them, I probably like Momo a little more, but I also give it that between the two, she's a more defined and solid as a character. We have more on what her stances of things are, she has a more defined background. Okarun we're still waiting for answers for. So at this time, Momo just has more of a lead, but only slightly. Because these two are great, I love their dynamic and how they are as characters.

I actually don't think I've shipped a lead pair so quickly in my life. Especially one I know will be endgame.

[kaylee68]

Part 2: Parentification, Abuse and Exploitation

Wanna start this section off by saying that despite my efforts I am absolutely going to be biased within this analysis. Not this section particularly but probably somewhere in the future.

I don’t hate Kalim or anything, but I do like Jamil a lot, if you couldn’t tell by me writing this whole thing and while I want to do my best to acknowledge his actions in book 4, which despite being understandable were still wrong, I need people reading this to know that I’m not perfect.

I will be criticising Kalim’s actions as well as Jamil’s, and I will also be providing my own theories and opinions on them, and I’ll try to be unbiased but I might still get things wrong.

I said it in the first part but I’ll say it again here that if you disagree with anything I say or if you think I was too harsh with Kalim and too lenient with Jamil then feel free to argue again so long as you’re respectful.

I’m also not a psychologist or anything, but I’m going to be discussing the potential affects of abuse so be warned that what I say might not be entirety accurate as it will be mostly based on what I find online.

I meant to add this in the last part but I forgot, so I thought I’d put it here. Sorry if it ends up sounding repetitive.

Anyway onwards.

Trigger warnings for discussions of abuse, but I think the title made that obvious.

The definition for parentification I found online described it as: When a child is forced to take on the role of a supportive adult within their family.

I think this is an aspect of Jamil’s childhood that is severely overlooked, granted I haven’t been in this fandom for very long, but I hardly see anyone acknowledge it, or how damaging it is.

Of course Kalim and him aren’t family so maybe Adultification would fit the situation better? But I thought the gist was still the same.

From a very young age Jamil was forced into a caretaker role for Kalim. He performed a lot of the practical responsibilities such as cooking and cleaning. And he mentions getting scolded for being too young to use the stove at some point so we know he was performing these tasks at an age where they weren’t appropriate.

He is also expected by his parents to mature a lot faster than he should be. We see this in his backstory, when they tell him to downplay his own skill for Kalim’s sake. Which as a result leads to Jamil repressing his own emotional needs which then ends up heavily affecting his mental state throughout the game.

Parentification has many lasting effects, things like: anxiety, low self esteem, increased likelihood of risky behaviors. It can also lead to struggles with setting boundaries as well as emotional regulation.

All traits that can be applied to Jamil in my opinion.

It is mentioned by several other characters that Jamil is constantly stressed and anxious and we see during the firelit sky event when with Najma that he is extremely sensitive to criticism.

Apparently as a child she called his singing bad and Jamil spent years trying to prove her wrong despite the fact that she had already forgotten about the conversation.

I think increased likelihood of risky behaviour speaks for itself when you consider how bad the consequences could’ve been after book 4 for him and his family if Azul had actually been live streaming.

Parentification itself is a form of emotional abuse. However it is not the only way Jamil is exploited.

Being a servant to Kalim and his family leaves him in a vulnerable position and this is very much taken advantage of by the Asim’s who frequently abuse him, which again I barely ever see talked about.

Maybe because it’s not so overt as most people assume it to be? Abuse of servants in media is often depicted as violent and humiliating, and Jamil’s situation is definitely more mentally damaging over all, but either way it’s still abuse.

He is being intimidated and coerced into working since he mentions how his entire family would suffer where he to disobey Kalim.

Not to mention the Viper family living on the Asim’s property, (which heavily implies Jamil’s family don’t actually own the house) is a massive red flag as their home seems to be something that could be held over their head.

Even if it hasn’t been explicitly threatened in the English translation, I think the original dialogue mentions that Jamil disobeying could put his whole family on the streets which means there is a massive power dynamic between him and Kalim, which causes several issues when it comes to consent and boundaries.

And it’s these issues that lead to Jamil being exploited labour wise throughout the game.

Where I live Jamil’s position violates several child labour laws. Of course this is a fictional world so for all I know everything he’s doing could be perfectly legal, but his workload is still very overwhelming.

He has been forced to keep up with a full time employment alongside a full time education since he was at minimum elementary school age, and potentially even younger.

This leads to his employment often disrupting his education since Jamil is expected to act as Kalim’s full time caretaker.

We see examples of this during one of Treys vignettes where it is mentioned that Jamil had to leave his own lessons because Kalim wanted to take his flying carpet to class and ended up loosing control over it, and again during one of Ace’s vignettes while attempting to complete an assignment he is called over by Kalim and made to leave his own work behind.

There’s also the fact that Kalim regularly hosts parties and gatherings for people that he expects Jamil to plan, decorate, cook for and clean up which leaves Jamil very little free time especially if you factor in having to keep up with schoolwork/studying on top of all this.

As someone who used to act as a caretaker for their younger siblings for extended periods of time I’m telling you this shit takes a toll on your mental health. It’s exhausting.

I mean it’s no wonder that he’s stressed all the time.

Even if on their own these things could be considered small, they are all still examples of work affecting his school life, and the stress/ overwhelm of it all tends to build up over time.

Then there’s the most obvious form of abuse in Jamil being expected to poison test Kalim’s meals.

We know he’s been doing this since before he came to NRC and if you read through the vignettes I think it’s implied that this likely started when he was around 13/14.

I mean I don’t really think I have to elaborate on why having a 13 year old taste test for poison is insane.

This is also why I get so confused when I see people attempt to defend the Asim family, because this alone even without all the other stuff makes them horrible people.

Like Kalim’s dad hopefully isn’t stupid considering he runs a massive trading company. Definitely not dumb enough to think Jamil is in any way willing to do this, unlike Kalim he’s a grown adult who understands that he can leverage the power he has over Jamil’s family to make him do it anyway.

It’s also another thing that makes me question just how much power the Asim’s have over Jamil’s family, because surely if they were paid a liveable wage, and were free, voluntary servants they’d have left by now?

Jamil’s parents don’t seem to like their position too much? Jamil obviously doesn’t want to be there and I personally would rather take the risk of being on the streets than the risk of my child dying.

The fact that despite this the Vipers are still working there makes me think that whatever consequence Jamil and his parents are so scared of is a lot worse than just being kicked out of their home.

Of course there’s always the possibility that his parents are just assholes. I mean they are also abusing Jamil

Though we hear very little about them outside of his backstory the two scenes we do see them in speak volumes to what Jamil’s childhood with them was like.

I’ve already mentioned the parentification, but a lot of that was instigated by his parents who put the heavy burden of their delicate situation on Jamil despite him still being a child, but there’s also the fact that they do just openly hit him and call him stupid.

Both those things happen right in front of Kalim who doesn’t say anything about it and while we already know that Kalim has been very normalised to the abuse Jamil faces I think this along with Jamil’s overall treatment and how his parents act during his backstory could also hint at abuse towards servants in general within the Asim household being pretty normalised to him.

I really don’t know enough about the Vipers or their situation to say for certain why they make the choices they do. Jamil’s parents seem terrified when they scold him and I do think they genuinely love him but although they’re in a situation where they aren’t able to protect him, I feel like there’s so much more they could’ve done instead of basically telling him to just suck it up.

I also think that part of the reason that all of this rarely gets mentioned and is also frequently excused and defended is because the twst fandom in general seems to also adultify Jamil.

I mean it’s not malicious or overt but I think even small things like jokes about him being the mom friend sort of play into this idea that Jamil is more mature than he actually is which is a position that has been thrust on him his entire life.

I mean he’s 17 and he literally does not know a life outside of work. That’s incredibly depressing and also just way too much for a child.

If anything I’d argue the abuse he’s faced in childhood has stunted his development. Especially because some of his actions make him seem a lot less mature than most of the cast all things considered.

Idk this is something I feel passionate about cause it’s something I heavily relate to and I don’t want to go too in depth into this but I wonder if his race also plays a factor in this, because it is him and Leona who I often see people hating on the most. Though then again that could just be because they are my faves.

And the fact that Kalim is very infantilised within the fandom could also be a factor.

But yeah, I think that mostly brings this section to a close? I think I want to go more in depth on how the abuse and conditioning still and honestly always will affect his relationship with Kalim, but this also ended up being really long so I think I’ll leave it here.

I apologise for any spelling mistakes!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

[hellaarknight]

Nothing can change the way I see you

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙

Pairing: Chuuya x femreader Warnings: pet names, mental and physical struggles, being pregnant, a bit oc (a bit more actually) Genre: Fluf/Comfort

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙

Chuuya never thought about seriously having children. Yeah, sure, he did find the idea entertaining, but he could not see himself as a father. Firstly because of his job and the dangers it entails, and secondly because he was afraid of being a shitty father. Probably many other reasons, but these two were enough to engrave in his mind that he would never be a father. And honestly, all was working out when he met you, his now wife, and a person who also did not want kids. So when you presented him with a pregnancy test he was conflicted. Scared. And so were you.

Despite these feelings, he hugged you and reassured you that you would figure it out together. He wiped away your tears when one day you confessed you were afraid his feelings would change with this pregnancy. „Doll... There is no way in hell that my feelings for you will ever change” „But...but... You say that now, but when I will have a belly and stretchmarks and I will be in pain, you will be repulsed by me” His hands cupped your face and he put his forehead onto yours. „Never. There is nothing in this world that could happen to make me lose my feelings. Nothi'g, pretty. You are my everything and despite you not wanting children, you chose to go forward with the pregnancy and gift me a kid. Baby doll, I'm staying by your side every step of this life.”

Unfortunately, no matter how much Chuuya was trying to convince you about his intentions, the story of your work colleagues and some friends did nothing but aggravate a feeling of dread for the pregnancy, birth experience, and whatever would happen afterward. Partners lose interest in their wives, not being attracted by them anymore, being repulsed because they saw the birth of their kids, and not wanting to engage in intimacy anymore, abandoning their spouse to all the chores of the house, minimizing the struggle of a new mom. And these were just some examples of what was told to you and what you read online. But Chuuya... Chuuya wouldn't do something like this, right? Chuuya was unaware of your internal struggles as he worked his but off in the Mafia so he could take more months off to be by your side in this process. It wasn't about the money, he had plenty, but about gaining more time from his life as an executive. Chuuya read a lot about pregnancy, side effects, and everything that had to do with the struggles of becoming a mom. He swore he would try to be as supportive as ever for you and the best dad he could ever be. When the hormones hit you like a brick, having you going from one emotional state to another, he wouldn't get angry once. Instead, he navigated through your mood changes the best he could. Was he going crazy? Yes, absolutely. But never once has he got mad at you. Not once has he raised his voice or made you feel bad about your own outburst, for your tears for your pitiful sight. „Baby, I'm not mad at you.” His voice soft, his hand holding yours while you tried to avoid his gaze. „Yes...hic... you are... I'm a terrible wife... I forgot, I'm sorry, I forgot to pack your lunch and now you're mad”. „No, baby, no, I am not mad, I ate plenty and you are not a terrible wife. You shouldn't even bother to think about doing things for me in this period, ok? You should rest as much as possible. Since the pregnancy is one with risks, you need to focus only on yourself, ok love?”

When you started having morning sickness and emptying your stomach almost every morning, he was there by your side if he was home, holding your hair up and rubbing your back. It pained him to see you vomiting so often, barely eating anything because everything made you nauseous. When in those moments you found yourself disgusting, he found you the most beautiful and amazing woman in the world. You kept pushing through. You kept drinking your prenatal vitamins to have a healthy baby and tried to have a variate diet, even tho you could barely tolerate food. In his eyes, you were shining, glowing, and wiping your mouth after one nauseous episode was the least he could do for you. „Chuu... I'm disgusting, how can you stay here?” Laying with your face near the toilet, tired, as you emptied your stomach for the fourth time today. „Stop talking like this about yourself, honey. It is something natural that happens and there is nothing to be disgusted of. C'me here, let me clean you up and I'll carry you to bed, you should sleep, you're barely getting around. And I'll have something else cooked when you wake up and you'll try again to eat, 'key baby?”

Chuuya was sure, there was nothing in this world, nothing that this pregnancy could bring that would make him look at you with less adoration. His feelings only grew bigger, if possible, he found you more and more charming every day, every day that belly grew and you faced another struggle in the process.

[forest-hashira]

2 Be Loved

this has sat in my drafts for... idk exactly how long, a month at least, because i was trying to decide if i even wanted to post it here. i wrote this for myself when i was Going Through It with my depression. now that i've sat on it a while, and i've generally been doing better, i've decided it's time to go ahead and share this. i hope you all enjoy it, and that it brings you some level of comfort or reassurance if you need it 💜

read on ao3 here | wc: ~2.4k | cw: gender neutral reader, plus size reader, mental health issues (reader is in a depressive episode), emotional hurt/comfort, some fluff at the end, really this is very self ship coded

You’d spent practically the whole day in bed. And the day before that, and the day before that, and probably the day before that, too. You’d lost count, honestly; all the days bleeding together and blurring in the fog of your mind. 

This was far from the first time this had happened, and you knew it would also be far from the last. Your emotional state had been a rollercoaster for most of your life, and had only become more volatile in the last few years. You would be fine, until you suddenly realized you were decidedly not fine, with some realizations being more gentle than others.

Like this time, for example. You hadn’t suddenly buckled under the weight of the world, but instead had woken up one morning and felt paralyzed; even just the idea of getting out of bed, for any reason, felt insurmountable. So you simply… didn’t. You stayed in bed and slept between episodes of your favorite TV show, grasping for anything that might stop you from sinking further into the depths of your depression. 

Satoru had been as patient as ever, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead and whispering a little “I love you,” before he’d left for work. He knew you struggled this way sometimes, and had never been anything but supportive and loving. Suguru had called in “sick”, opting to spend the day taking care of you, which mostly consisted of slipping in and out of sleep all day and occasionally bringing a snack from the kitchen. Satoru had joined you back in bed as soon as he got home from work, effectively squishing you between himself and Suguru, where you were helpless to do anything but let them love you.

It had reduced you to tears, shoulders shaking as ugly, half choked sobs tore themselves from your chest. They had let you cry, not rushing to try and quiet you as they might have done when they were younger; they let you get it out of your system, only stepping in to comfort you when you started to speak. 

“I’m sorry,” you’d cried, eyes shut tight as you tried to avoid their gaze. “I’m sorry I’m…” you’d struggled for words then, losing them between your hiccuping sobs and the darkness that clouded your mind. 

“I’m too much,” you’d come up with eventually. “My emotions are too messy, and my mind doesn’t work right… I feel like all I do is cause problems for both of you. Like all I do is hold you back and drag you down.”

You hadn’t seen the look they’d exchanged, the pain that pinched their features, but you had felt the way they pressed in closer, as if they could crush the depression out of you. 

“You are not too much,” Satoru had murmured, gently tilting your head up to meet his gaze, his cerulean eyes sparkling in the low light from the lamp on your bedside table. “You could never be too much, not to me – to us.” His thumb brushed lightly along your cheekbone, delicately wiping the tears from your skin even as they were replaced with more. “We love you so much, y’know? I love you so much. Taking care of you is not a chore, or a burden.”

You’d shaken your head, unable to believe his words. “You can’t possibly mean that.”

“But we do,” Suguru had been the one to speak that time. “You mean it when you tell me the same thing when I’m depressed, right?”

“Of course I do.” There wasn’t any hesitation as the words left your lips. “Taking care of you is a privilege.”

“Then why can’t you believe we feel the same way about taking care of you?”

His words had left you reeling, so much so that you almost didn’t hear Suguru when he continued. 

“Satoru’s right, angel. I love you. We adore you, and we want to take care of you. Always.”

As Suguru had hugged you tighter with one arm and pressed gentle kisses to your shoulder, he’d placed his other hand on your white haired lover’s hip, keeping him as close as possible. Satoru had been eager to oblige, snuggling into you as much as possible. He’d brushed your hair from your face and pressed a kiss to your forehead, one hand cradling your face while the other reached across you to settle on Suguru’s hip. They had effectively caged you in, both with their bodies and with their love. It had shattered you, reduced you to tears again, but they hadn’t minded; they were there to hold you together, to pick up the pieces when you couldn’t do it alone. 

Through some unspoken agreement, your boys switched places the next day; Suguru had gone into work while Satoru had called out “sick” to take care of you. They did their best not to leave you alone for too long whenever they could help it, but they could only get away with calling out sick when everyone knew the two of them were perfectly healthy; when the higher ups knew that you were the one keeping the two special grades and teachers from fully doing their jobs.

A few days passed with your lovers taking turns staying home with you, until one day they both called out to stay home, though you didn’t realize that at first, since Suguru was quick to return to you in bed, holding you close as you drifted off again, faintly away of the sound of the front door closing and locking before you were fully asleep. 

When you woke up again, the first thing you were aware of was the fact that you were alone in bed. At almost the same moment, though, you heard music coming from what you guessed what the kitchen, though you couldn’t quite tell, since the bedroom door was shut; wherever it was coming from, it was definitely upbeat pop music, so you knew for certain Satoru was the one who had turned it on.

With no small amount of effort, you pushed yourself into a sitting position, rubbing your eyes for a moment and yawning before you crawled off the bed on Satoru’s side. You shuffled over to the dresser then, opening drawers and grabbing clothes pretty much at random. You wound up in a black sweatshirt and a pair of light blue sweatpants, both of which were at least two sizes too big for you, which even your fuzzy brain knew meant they weren’t actually your clothes; they belonged to your two giants of lovers.

Once you were dressed, you turned back to the nightstand, grabbing one of Suguru’s hair ties to pull your hair out of your face with, and, after a deep breath, you decided to brave the kitchen.

Opening the door to the bedroom allowed you to fully hear the music that was playing, and you were a little surprised to realize it was in English, rather than Japanese. Satoru liked to listen to anything that was happy and upbeat enough, but he – understandably – had a bit of a preference for J pop music. 

Still a little surprised by the music choice and a little foggy from sleep, you make your way to the kitchen in a bit of a daze. Both Satoru and Suguru were in the kitchen: Suguru at the counter, mixing something in the stand mixer, while Satoru danced around to the music, occasionally trying to steal a bit of whatever Suguru had in the mixing bowl, and being effectively swatted away every time. You stood in the doorway for a few moments in silence, just watching them in utter adoration.

Eventually, though, Satoru noticed you, and he got a bright grin on his face as he raced over to you. “You got out of bed!” he gushed, wrapping you up in a tight hug and pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I’m so proud of you, mochi,�� he murmured against your scalp, and something about the nickname in combination with the praise made you feel like you were going to melt into a puddle right then and there. 

Just as suddenly as he had engulfed you in a hug, the white haired sorcerer was releasing you, lunging for where he’d left his phone on the counter by the bluetooth speaker he was using for the music. You watched curiously as he opened his playlist, hastily skipping through a handful of songs before he got to the one he was apparently looking for. Seeming pleased with himself, he made sure the song was playing, turned the volume up a little bit, then turned back to you with that sparkling grin of his. 

You blinked in surprise when you heard the singer’s voice, and you looked up at him with a look of complete bafflement. “I didn’t know you listened to Lizzo.”

He sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. “No, baby, you gotta listen to the lyrics!” he insisted, taking your hands and doing a very small little dance with you right there in the doorway. 

Though part of you wanted to argue, you had never been good at resisting your energetic lover, and this time was no exception. Before you even nodded, Satoru already knew you’d given in to him, and he pulled you a bit closer to himself as he started singing along with the lyrics. And not quietly, either: he sang them with all the enthusiasm in his body, and though you hated to admit it, it was contagious, even in your depressed state.

By the end of the first verse, you were smiling, a small laugh escaping you at your lover’s almost puppyish behavior. When the chorus came around, you started singing along as well, and you noticed belatedly that Satoru was singing the lines of the background singers, rather than the main chorus, like you were. 

“Am I ready?”

“You deserve it now.”

“‘Cause I want it!”

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about.”

“Am I ready?”

“You gon’ figure it out.”

“To be loved, to be loved.”

Your singing faltered then, and you stared up at Satoru for a moment, suddenly realizing why he’d picked this song to serenade you with. He stopped singing as well, smiling gently down at you as he watched you fit the puzzle pieces together in your mind.

“We’ve always been ready to love you.”

The sound of Suguru’s voice from behind you caused you to startle a bit, but you looked up at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. 

“Are you ready to let us love you again?” His tone held no resentment, no bitterness, only gentle adoration, and you were certain that if Satoru didn’t still have a solid grip on your hands, you would have sunk to your knees with the overwhelming realization of how much these two men adored you, despite how much your mind sometimes tried to convince you they shouldn’t.

Unable to find your voice, you nodded, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill down your cheeks. You allowed your eyes to flutter shut for a moment as Suguru leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of your head, but just a few seconds later, Satoru was tugging you back into his space, spinning you around so your back was to his chest. The song was still playing and he was apparently still determined to get you to dance with him.

Suguru laughed softly at his lover’s antics, shaking his head slightly at Satoru and offering you a slight shrug when you looked up at him for some sort of explanation.

Now the subject of Satoru’s whims, you allowed him to dance around the kitchen with you in his arms, still singing along with the song, though now his volume was lower, as he sang the words down at you. You smiled, allowing yourself to get lost in the warmth of his love, even if his fingers were cold where they wrapped around your own. 

“He call me Melly, he squeeze my belly.”

Your eyes flew open as Satoru sang the words, his chilly hands coming down to squeeze at the soft flesh of your stomach, the touch pulling a rather undignified squeak from your lips, but he just continued to beam down at you. He wasn’t going along with the lyrics of the song to make fun of you – he’d expressed to you enough times that he adored the soft pudginess of your body for you to know he meant it – but it still surprised every time he made sure to pay special attention to the squishier parts of you.

The sound of your squeak pulled another laugh from Suguru, and though at first you were planning to glare at him, you couldn’t go through with it; not when his expression was full of so much love and relief. He crossed the kitchen to reach you again, whatever was in the mixer long forgotten in favor of you. When he reached out for you, going to him was easier than breathing. He pulled you close, pressing his lips to the crown of your head as he swayed around the kitchen with you. The movement didn’t match the energy of the song at all, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. You were safe and secure in his arms, and Satoru had enough energy for all three of you; it was impossible not to watch him as he danced around the kitchen, white hair and blue eyes shining, and he flashed you that brilliant grin of his every time he caught your gaze. 

Things weren’t suddenly perfect; Lizzo and dancing in the kitchen was not a magical fix-it for the irregularities in your emotional state, but it was certainly a stepping stone back to your normal. And you knew, without any doubt in your mind, that you would have the support and full confidence of your lovers behind you every step of the way. They were your way back to yourself, after all. Suguru was your anchor in stormy seas, tethering you to something real, something sturdy; Satoru was the lighthouse calling you home when the waters calmed enough for you to move again.

i hope you guys have enjoyed seeing some of my other stuff i hadn't yet shared here! though i can't promise when i'll have anything new, know that i am working on things now + am preparing things for my upcoming milestone event!!! take care of yourselves as best you can 💜. divider by cafekitsune

tagging: @kentohours @mitsuristoleme @marinnnnnnnnn @witchbybirth @peachdues

[googledetective]

my thoughts about the new drdt episode...

I want to start off that this episode has not left me in a great mental state and this piece of fiction is starting to effect my reality in a negative way, currently. I do suffer from mental health issues, so please be sympathetic. If something I say seems too emotional or a bit off, that's likely why. My therapist will be hearing about drdt, lol. No hate towards drdt, it's an amazing project, and I'm amazed at how the piece of fiction is able to make me react in such a way.

1. I am not educated on ASPD or anything like that, so if I say something wrong feel free to correct me. I had a feeling that Levi likely had it from his secret, but this is a cool confirmation. I like that this is represented in a really great way, and that the reactions to his confessions are also very realistic. I like Levi a lot, but now I understand him so much more, and it makes me really appreciate him.

2. I find it interesting how Levi is so detached, as Veronika said, to everything. Even if I was not capable of remorse, I would've remembered killing my own father. I wonder what his father did to be so looked down upon.

2.5. OKAY SO HES KINDA JUST LIKE ME FR. like I stated previously I've had some bad mental health issues in the past to the point I've kicked windshields of cars in and attacked people. It is not my proudest moment, but holy shit I can relate to this a lot. It makes me so good to see someone who's done shit like I've done who's trying to change.

3. Ace really did care about Levi and considered him a friend, which warmed and broke my heart at the same time. I really hope Ace finds another friend, because he deserves to feel some comfort and joy. I hope he learns about Levi's ASPD and realizes Levi has no malicious intent towards him. I find it nice that Ace did really trust and look up to Levi though, it proves him capable of friendship and deeper feelings that people usually overlook. Great complex character.

4. I was shocked that Levi sided with David, but honestly I do too. David is a good person, and we see that later in the ep where he doesn't tell Eden what Arei said.

5. J CALLED OUT HU??? UNEXPECTED. called her a stupid argument moderator. Interesting. I love you J, but watch it.

6. Veronika's secret isn't the worst thing she's ever done- interesting. I think it could be the thing she's the most ashamed of, but you never know. It really breaks my heart for Hu, and I hope we get a backstory on her soon.

I'm coming back after point 14 and adding this: these secrets don't seem to be any of the worst things they've ever done, nor relevant to the killing game (besides "Xander's"). These secrets are personal. I think they each have worse secrets but they are too related to the killing game so they couldn't give those out.

7. Excuse you, David. Freaky ass.

8. that is NOT Teruko's secret 😭😭😭

9. This is seriously rich coming from J, as she usually escalates the situation.

10. Eden's monologue broke my heart. I am so glad David lied to her at the end, or I think Eden's heart would've been broken. This just makes me so sad.

11. "That maybe there would be a world in which we would be friends." I'm sure there would be, since your fans have created worlds that you're dating her.

12. Arei needs to genuinely shut up. This is where I get very upset and irrational. I am so fucking mad at Arei for lying to Eden. For the rest of Eden's life she's going to be wondering what she could've done or if her friendship was enough. Why the fuck would you lie and say you believed you could change, only to come back and admit you know you can't. My heart breaks for Arei though, because I believe she could've changed. This especially makes me so upset because as a previously bad person who relates to Arei and tries to change, I feel like I'm going to give up hope to do so too. Obviously I gotta overpower and not let fiction effect my reality, but it really hurts.

13. Arei's worldview that nobody is a good person mirrors David's (though David excludes Xander). Makes me really sad. I can hope, but there's really no hope left.

14. Well we know who attacked Xander (what the actual fuck). I hope we learn how that ties in later. Eden's hidden quote, "you can never go back, no matter how hard you try." maybe it's referring to this incident instead of the situationship with her friends in the past.

15. Love this.

16. WE HAD A JRUKO MOMENT!!! So happy about this!!!

17. Why the actual fuck does Whit know so much about how that hanging mechanism would work. You're making yourself look so suspicious. High and low were highlighted, which was interesting.

18. Whit said this murder would've been hard if Arei wasn't a willing victim. If she was, this just makes this case even more tragic. She may have convinced herself to give up hope and cooperated with the killer, which pains me a lot. I think this was due to David's secret.

19. I love the carousel bit! And the banter between Arturo and Whit. They had banter last trial too, so that's a continuation. Maybe they'll have a confrontation in the future.

20. NICO FUCKED BRO

21. At this point my only logical conclusion of who I think the killer could be is J.

22. Everyone is bringing up Ace's friend- Taylor! It's seriously throwing me for a loop bc that's my name!

ENDING:

To clarify, I think it's sad that Arei believes she can't change and even started doubting Eden.

[pen-and-umbra]

ok but let’s get into the DIRT and break this down like sephiroth dissecting a mako pod. if sephiroth had the sheer will to resist jenova’s “reunion” possession during the robio incident in first soldier ep2,then his little nibelheim meltdown wasn’t some tragic puppet show. bro had agency. he chose to burn it all down after reading some scribbled notes in the mansion library..

“jenova made me” is pure gaslighting—if he could shut her out once, he could’ve done it again. but nah, he vibed with the villain arc

Hard disagree. It is completely inappropriate to compare these two scenarios.

During the Robio mission, Sephiroth has not yet dealt with the years of festering trauma and combat experiences that will contribute to his emotional burden later on. While scarred, he has not endured **years** of being celebrated as a phony hero while powerless to deter ShinRA's shenanigans. His companionships have not yet bloomed and grown, only to deteriorate into vanishing acts and bitterness. As a teenager, he is still in the early stages of that path and has not reached a breaking point.

Moreover, it is crucial to acknowledge the significance of starvation, sleep deprivation, and isolation, as these factors directly impacted Sephiroth's mental and emotional state during THAT mission. Unlike the isolation he experiences in Nibelheim, Sephiroth is surrounded by people in Robio. Angeal, regardless of personal feelings, is a by-the-book leader who prioritizes formal assignments, chain of command and team duty. Meaning that he wouldn't back off just because Sephiroth asked him to. This is fairly different from the circumstances Sephiroth had while staying at Mako reactor and the mansion basement.

Zack and Sephiroth were friendly enough, but their dynamic was more like that of a mentor and a student, with Zack playing an assistant role. Zack still regards Sephiroth as a larger-than-life superman, as I briefly mentioned here. He never considered that Sephiroth might struggle to handle a situation. This is exemplified in the Nibelheim episode, where Sephiroth is isolated in the basement, plagued by intrusive (and quite possibly Jenova-induced) thoughts and accumulated anguish, while Zack remains unaware and enjoys peaceful time at the inn. Zack refrains from checking on him because he cannot fathom Sephiroth's potential inability to process a certain situation/information. Zack's perception of Sephiroth's strength and resilience is so strong that he fails to recognize signs of vulnerability, resulting in missed opportunities for intervention. The disconnect between his admiration and Sephiroth's internal struggles eventually contributes to the unfortunate events that occur later.

Given teen!Sephiroth's resilience and lack of extreme stressors in Robio, it's understandable that he can YET resist Jenova's (?? or whatever power is behind all that woo) attempts at manipulation. In contrast to Nibelheim events, he also does not experience physical and psychological effects of sleep deprivation, hunger, dehydration, or the need to confront personal struggles while avoiding burdening his squadmates. (By contrast, look at him shutting himself down when the topic of family & hometown pops up upon arrival at Nibelheim.)

Bottom line. Sephiroth embodies the dangers of perceived strength. When life presents challenges, you deal with it because you have no choice. However, once you've dealt with it, people expect you to keep doing so. When someone is seen as strong, others typically do not inquire casually about their well-being. Sephiroth's mental fortitude and practiced self-restraint were a mixed blessing; they shielded him from external manipulation (only for so long, of course), but they also isolated him from the support he needed. In other words, his practiced stoicism becomes a liability; no one intervenes because no one **believes** he needs help.

Who knows, if Zack had trusted his instincts about Sephiroth's strange behavior and stayed in the mansion for that fateful week, the outcome might have been different. Essentially Zack’s admiration blinds him to Sephiroth’s vulnerability. He interprets Sephiroth’s isolation as “handling things,” failing to recognize the signs of collapse. This isn’t fault-finding, but a critique of how we fail those who “seem strong.”

In the end, Sephiroth’s seeming resistance in Robio doesn’t negate his collapse in Nibelheim, but highlights how trauma, isolation, and emotional neglect created the perfect conditions for his fall, whether Jenova-driven or not.

[lottepriant]

On My Model(s) of Hypnosis Safety - and Communication and Vulnerability

Essays pop out of my fingers when interesting people talk to me on Discord about hypnosis theory. Basically unedited.

I often say that the dangerous part of hypnosis isn't the hypnosis, it's the people. People are able to coerce others into doing things all the time: in small ways (giving money to a charity collector in the street), medium ways (upselling someone on a car), and huge ways (long-term coercive relationships.) Change is an inherent part of interacting with another person, and to interact with another person is accepting, inherently, that they are going to have - to some degree or another proportional to your willingness to be open and vulnerable, and to the length and depth of that interaction - some ability (consciously done or not) to change you, to introduce you to new ideas, and to modify your emotional and mental state.

That is, basically, what communication is. To speak is to act upon another - this isn't true during just hypnosis, but all the time.

The idea that we shouldn't talk about that, or that we should obfuscate that vulnerability, seems far more dangerous to me than the alternative. Particularly the idea that telling someone that they could be manipulated is a cognitohazard that will make them more vulnerable to it; people who don't know what to look for, people who don't know what's happening to them or how it works, are not capable of identifying dangerous situations or dynamics. I say dynamics because it usually that which is the "problem", because by far the most dangerous thing to do is be in a longer-term relationship with someone. Repeated exposure to someone, being willing to be open and vulnerable with them increasingly as it goes on, is... inherently risking getting hurt. Through malice - in the case of deliberate abuse - or through things that are no fault of anyone's, like relationship breakdowns or even hurting someone's feelings. This is a continuum, really, and builds over time with closeness and exposure.

There's an existential crisis that I, and quite a lot of other hypnosis-and-psychology-y people I know have had - about that first fact. The fact that every time we interact with someone we are acting upon them. "Is it even ethical to talk to anyone? Or have a friendship or relationship with someone?" (Me, 2019, when I first got into hypnosis and my brain was exploding about it.) These days, I'm a very effective communicator: in being a hypnotist, an educator, writer, speaker, and, well, in general. (Not that those things are in any way mutually distinct - hypnosis is on a continuum with the rest of human experience, but I digress.) The kicker to that little crisis was "if I'm learning to talk to people better, does that make it worse? Is it morally worse if I'm more effective?"

Overall, the resolution to this, for me, is:

Being collaborative. Conversation is a give or take, as are all relationships, and building something with the other person.

Respecting agency. Very related to the give or take - letting the other person act and be and take up space within an interaction.

Considering the well-being of the people you interact with. Whether it's a little interaction in the street, a play partner, or a long-term romantic partner - how do your interactions make them feel? Does it further their wellbeing? In the short-term? medium and long-terms?

Be skillful and aware. Understand what it is that you're doing and the impacts they are, and could have.

Own it when you fuck up.

...On the other side, because its not only true that when X interacts with Y, Y is being changed - X is also being changed as well. Which means I try to:

Examine how being around another person makes me feel. Am I actually enjoying talking to someone? Or spending time with them?

Work out whether things seem appropriately reciprocal, or whether it feels like I'm having to do all the work.

Are they working to try and paint me into corners by the situations and contexts they put me in?

Do I feel like I have the ability to say no? Do my choices feel free when e.g. they ask if I want to spend time with them, or play, or buy a car from them?

The latter points are the ones that are about safety in every sort of dynamic, and I think that information is all. I think that making people aware that they are, by virtue of being a person, going to be impacted in a lot of ways, so they can make informed choices with who and how they are vulnerable with people is the most important thing.

[ilsolefiesta]

some self-analytic observations based on my natal chart

1. the 9th house Moon & Saturn + Sagittarius IC conjunction with Chiron always make me think that my true happiness and home are elsewhere but here. I'm always dreaming of moving abroad but Saturn... I've never even travelled abroad. hope I make it someday.

2. also about the 9th house Moon. I can't say for sure if this is the reason... maybe I can also add Pisces DSC here. but all my relationships (there have only been two of them, lol) had some... foreign fleur, I guess? despite the fact that there were no actual cultural or mental differences between us, my first boyfriend still was from a different nationality. as for the second one, he was a Sagittarius with experience of living in different countries. well, when is my turn, huh???

3. some people might consider Libra Venus in the 2nd house to be materialistic... WELL, I can say that this is only partly true. perhaps the restrictions of Virgo's placements don't allow me to go crazy with money issues. but to be honest... both of my ex-partners had a better financial status than me. I swear, I didn't choose them for that reason!!!

4. my Taurus Moon (Moon again...) makes me a true foodie. my mood totally depends on whether or not I've eaten. I've had situations where I get mad at someone simply because I'm hungry. I see delicious food as the main source of happiness in my life. and here goes big BUT. my Moon is squared by Uranus, so guess who has eternal dieting periods and eating disorder?

5. my Sagittarius Pluto is located in my 3rd house and it is also the ruler of this house. my little sister, who is Rising Sagittarius with Scorpio Moon, and I have a really deep relationship, but we ALWAYS seem to have intense and sarcastic arguments. she is extremely emotional and vulnerable (+ Cancer Sun), so she often attacks before someone else can hurt her, like a hedgehog. my cutie.

6. continuing the topic of the Moon and family in general. my Taurus Moon has made my relationship with my mother seem a bit... materially focused? I love her dearly, but for a long time I saw her as someone who just cooked, bought my clothes, earned money and was concerned about my physical well-being. in terms of emotions we were stable and neutral. by contrast, my sister has far more intense feelings - they have many arguments, resentments and mutual claims. it's strange and fun to witness this love-hate dynamic.

7. I also see a connection between the charts of our parents and our charts. my mother is Rising Cancer with Sagittarius Sun. it's vice versa for my sister. despite the fact that she is an exact copy of our father in terms of appearance... my 1st house Sun makes me a real father's daughter. btw, he had Libra Sun with Virgo placements. so, it's again vice versa. my personality is greatly influenced by his, and his upbringing has had a significant impact on me. having Chiron conjunction with IC as a family house... losing him is still one of my most painful wounds.

8. 1° Virgo Mars in the 12th house supported by Capricorn Lilith... I'm still learning how to deal with my anger in a healthy way and the need to control everything. sometimes I feel a truly destructive desire to release my anger, even if it hurts other people. in such cases, I usually go for a walk alone for about 30.000 steps to fix it and calm down.

9. the conjunction of my Jupiter and MC makes me extremely delusional about becoming famous and global. I'm not sure what to do about it. maybe I should see a therapist.

10. the connection (however it's not very accurate in my case, somewhere it is stated to be a conjunction) of Venus and Mercury in Libra is usually said to have some special, magnetic voice features. while I cannot say for sure what is meant by "special features", I've often been told that my voice and way of speaking have a calming effect on people and can even make them feel sleepy if they listen for too long.

11. I guess, it's again about my active 9th house, but I'm good at learning foreign languages and it comes naturally to me.

12. having Rahu in my 11th house... I guess it has an aim to teach me how important friends are. my social circle greatly changed many times over the years.  I've had about 10 "best friends", but we don't communicate anymore. as my 11th house is in Cancer, each time it was very personal and dramatic for me. so, at some point I began to think about friends with "easy come - easy go" philosophy and didn't want to be attached to someone anymore. after that, I met someone who has been my best friend for four years already, and we've been through living together, long-distance communication, shared interests, traveling together, and haven't had any serious arguments yet. I think this is also connected to my Ketu-Lilith conjunction in Capricorn and control issues, something from "previous" karmic experience. after learning to let things go their own way, I have succeeded.

13. having my Saturn in square with my Mars makes me a kinda... renegade? I've always had troubles with authority figures, like teachers and directors. like "why should I listen to and respect you if you're saying nonsense?" however, my Mars is weak, so I tend to just silently complain and endure it, haha.

14. also, there is an interesting connection between Sagittarius IC and Gemini Saturn in the 9th house. my family is strongly religious and I was raised according to Christian beliefs. as the 9th house is also the house of faith, guess whose Gemini Saturn is rationalizing everything and saying: "it has nothing to do with me. I cannot simply believe in something 1) unjust 2) having weak evidence" etc. I guess my family secretly hates me for this when we discuss religion...

15. Libra Venus trine Aquarius Uranus has given me a good aesthetic sense in terms of visual arts. I'm not that bad at digital art (art in general, but that's not the main issue). damn, why it feels like I'm bragging... nevertheless, my friends and family often ask me to take photos of them and do "post-production", as I've been learning Photoshop since I was 11. I'm really a huge perfectionist when it comes to it. I "blame" Uranus specifically because it rules technologies.

16. Mercury is the dominant planet in my chart and it doesn't have any harsh aspects. + it forms a trine with my Uranus. I learned to speak when I was around 1-1.5 years old.

17. I don't know why, but Virgo Sun & Ascendant haven't made me obsessed with cleaning, despite the stereotypes. in fact, my house often gets messy. HOWEVER, when I do start cleaning, it can take up the whole day...

18. Sun and Ascendant in the same sign really make me really obvious to define. people often say that I'm that one pedantic killjoy when it comes to communication. I'm really sorry about this, but I can't help it, haha.

19. Pluto in the 3rd house + Virgo Mars in the 12th house, I guess, is the duo which explains my irrational love to songs with some harsh, disrespectful, and dark lyrics. I mention Virgo Mars here because I feel that it helps me to deal with my internal aggression properly. and also Libra Venus and Mercury in the 2nd house... my guilty pleasure is to listen to rappers' lyrics, when they sing about being broke nonames initially and achieving money, girls, fame and, overall, being on top now.

20. active 5th house with Leo as a ruler of the 12th house... it's tough. I really enjoy imagining myself on stage, receiving attention. I think I have a potential at least to act 'cause my image and appearance can dramatically change if I want them to. a friend of my ex-boyfriend, who saw my Instagram profile once said that he couldn't believe that the same person was in all the photos. my makeup artist also told me that I have the appearance of a chameleon and it's possible to create any image on it. but the reality is cruel and when I actually receive attention, I become scared and shy, not knowing what to do next. is there any way to overcome this..?

21. btw, Virgo ASC and that "you can be anyone" feature. I personally believe that it's hard to identify them by their appearance as this ASC can give a slightly... standardized appearance? especially if a certain person has some strong planets connected to ASC / the 1st house (for example, my 1st house Sun gave me red hair when I was a child), they can easily be mistaken for anyone. I may be biased, but you can identify Virgo Rising by their behavior or style, but not by physical traits.

Thank you for reading!

Maybe there are some mistakes, so I'm sorry.

That's how my first post came to be. I've talked a lot about myself. Damn. But writing about oneself is always the easiest thing to do. Hope someone can find it relatable. I'm opened to discuss your placements if you want to!

Pictures credits: Pinterest

[nanierose]

I don’t think that the team was actually siding with Laudna I think Ashton and Imogen both are more aware of how fragile Laudna’s mental state is and saw that she was physically hurt much more and were acting to one ensure Laudna didn’t feel ganged up on and two to be a physical means of deescalation

It’s a little weird to me that orym the person who probably knows the extent of Delilah’s powers the most and who in general acts to deescalate in the group was prodding spots he knew were sensitive for laudna when she was of sound mind. That’s to say while that sword isnt sentient I think it may be having some sort of effect on orym or we are seeing first hand how bad orym is at handling fresh loss

I can understand that they were trying to de-escalate now that it's been a few days, but I still think her excuse of the sword being cursed was a wild claim and somebody should have said stealing it off Orym was a bad idea and his response made sense.

I don't agree that he understands her powers the most though. Orym has always made it clear that magic is something he doesn't fully get, and aside from when they brought Laudna back to life hasn't actually met Delilah. I would say Imogen is the one who understands best because Laudna has confided in her most about Delilah's influence and she also has magic that is in part because of a corrupting entity.

I also can forgive Orym being angry because he'd just been attacked out of nowhere, is already on high alert as it is, and Laudna's excuses were ridiculous and also implied Otahan wasn't at fault for killing his family or FCG. Of course he's going to question her and be mad at what happened. And yes the sword is an emotive subject for him, as it would be for anyone, but reclaiming it was his way to start making peace. The moment in the rain was a part of his grief and how he's dealing with it. I imagine if Laudna had actually come to him about her concerns he would have discussed it more calmly than he ended up. The fact of the matter is Orym is not responsible for managing Laudna's feelings when he is the victim of an unprovoked attack.

[fadingwinnerpirate]

My Interpretation of what the Sins mean in Limbus Company

Alright so, I've wanted to do this for a while, but it took me a while to come up with a definition for every Sin that was satisfying for me personally. Fortunately, with the end of Canto 7, I've finally put the pieces together!

Also, shout-out to @lu-is-not-ok for inspiring me to do this (also some of my interpretations probably overlap with his). Without further ado, let us begin!

Wrath: in my opinion, Wrath is the Sin of defiance, the sin of not being satisfied with one's condition in life and seeking to change it, even to the point of self-destruction, like a fire that inevitably burns itself out. The best example of a Wrathful character I can think of would be Angela, before the true end of the game, where she was so focused on screwing over A that she literally made herself vulnerable to injury. For a more Limbus-y example, Ishmael is probably the best, considering that the unofficial subtitle for Canto 5 was "Blind Obsession" and her whole "thing" in that Canto was destroying her mental state in order to get at Ahab.

I think all Sins are associated with a certain emotional state, and they're certainly related to the primary status effects. Wrath is related to the emotion of anger and the status of Burn. If you need evidence of Wrath being related to anger, I refer you to the end of 5-35. As for why Wrath is associated with Burn, I personally have two reasons for it, one being, "fuck you, you think I can only hit you on /my/ turn?!" And the other being that Burn is a stand in for the sabotage that often comes with rebellion, where you're able to soften up the enemy without having to directly engage them, which makes overthrowing them easier than it would be.

Lust: Alright, this is the Sin that I had the most trouble with while I was thinking of this on my own, so it might not be the best reasoned part of this analysis. With that being said, Lust is the Sin of emotional fulfillment, to the point of insanity. This might be a hard idea to grasp at first, so I'll explain it with the example that gave me this breakthrough, the Bloodfiends. All of the Bloodfiend IDs we have have a Lust skill, which represents the thirst for blood, but it manifests differently based on their generation. The Third Kindred have a Gluttony skill, which represents the hunger of their disease, but the Second Kindred don't, because they don't feel that hunger as intensely as the Third Kindred.

This means that Lust must represent the emotional dependency that the Bloodfiends have on blood, since that is what is shared between all Kindred, they "need" blood to feel "happiness". This means, in a broader sense, that Lust is the desire to feel happy/content with the work that you've done, even if that means sacrificing your morals or common sense in order to do so. Lust is thus associated with the emotion of happiness and the status of Bleed. I think I've already made my case for Lust being associated with happiness, but why is it associated with Bleed? Honestly, I'm not sure, but my best guess is that it has to do with the concept of "completing one's work". Bleed is essentially that anime trope where someone swings their sword and the other guy explodes ten seconds later, so it isn't unreasonable to associate it with the Sin that's about finding fulfillment in life.

Sloth: This is the Sin of compliance, of not fighting against the flow, even if it would be in your best interest to fight against it (aka the Sin of the US lol). In some ways it is the opposite of Wrath, but that doesn't mean that they can't go together. Such a combination to me suggests the idea of "useless wrath," or fighting a war that you don't think you can win. For a good exploration of this concept, I recommend "Understanding That 'Rat in a Cage' Song" by 12tone on YouTube. For an exploration of Sloth by itself, let's look at Yi Sang. Dude is depressed for real. Ever since the League of Nine disbanded, he physically could not muster the energy to resist other people if he wanted to. Even when he escaped N Corp., it was only because of the instructions that Sang Yi gave him that he even tried to escape. It was not until the very end of Canto 4 that he was able to find his own strength, his "Wings". As a side note before we move on, a lot of this also applies to Gregor, please keep an eye on him, and anyone in your real life who acts like Greg, they need as much support as you can muster.

All of this means that Sloth's emotion is, in fact, the lack of emotion, as Sloth has no internality of its own, only continuing on as it is bidden. Sloth is associated with Tremor, and as Zwei Ishmael has told us, Tremor is essentially knocking your opponent off-balance so you have an easier time defeating them, which tracks with another trend of Sloth based design, which is outlasting the enemy, mostly by being tanky in some way. Since Sloth lacks emotions, it also lacks an emotional investment in conflict, and as any Ruina veteran can tell you, the more emotional a fight is, the more intense the fight is, which means the low intensity nature of Sloth lends itself well to this outlasting type of fighting style that Tremor and tankiness allow.

Bruh, it's midnight how am I only halfway done 😭

Gluttony: Gluttony is the Sin of desire, and for the longest time, I could not find a good way to make it distinct from Lust, or more accurately, make Lust distinct from Gluttony. This is because "desire" is a really broad concept that could theoretically encompass every other Sin except for maybe Sloth. However, since Limbus mostly represents Gluttony through the lens of consumption and hunger, that does narrow it a bit. Specifically, Gluttony is the need to survive or achieve something, and the horrible things that people can be pushed to in order to do so. Sinclair and Gregor are kind of the go-to for examples of Gluttony because they're the most "normal" of the crew, just trying to not die every 20 seconds, however I also want to mention Faust, since she has a surprising amount of Gluttony for someone so aloof, which suggests some kind of desperation she had that we haven't really gotten to see, even in Murder on the Warp Express.

This leads to Gluttony's emotion, which is desperation. That might be a weird thing to call an emotion, but think about it, hasn't every one felt a deep "need" to do something cloying at them deep in their stomach at some point? It might be a bit dramatic to call that "desperation" but I need to call it something, and that's what came first! Gluttony is associated with Rupture, which is probably the easiest connection to make between Sin and Status. Gluttony is all about trying to survive in a very "kill or be killed" kind of way and Rupture lets you deal more damage per attack, thus letting you kill your enemy before they can kill you.

Gloom: Most people think Gloom is the Sin of depression, but from the thinking and research I've done, I think it's more complicated than that. To me, Gloom is the Sin of introspection, of facing your own flaws and moving past them, of sinking into the murky depths of your /own/ mind and dredging up the confidence that is found by staring into that abyss. I mostly came to this conclusion because of how Gloom interacts with not just Sinking, but SP as a mechanic in general.

Identities with Gloom often have a focus on SP outside of using Sinking, like Red Eyes Ryoshu's Penitence status or Butler Outis' ridiculous SP gain. If Gloom were purely depressive, why is there so much focus on stabilizing your own mental state? This leads to Gloom's connection to Sinking. If Gloom is about introspection and, dare I say, Realization, then Sinking is forcing people to look at themselves and confront their flaws, and most people can't handle that without preparation so their morale falters, possibly throwing them into a panic. Emotionally, Gloom is most resonant with sadness, I feel. That might contrast with what I've been saying, but introspection can certainly be painful and the most Gloom based characters we've seen like Sinclair and Ishmael aren't the most upbeat people. This would technically make Gloom the opposite of Lust but they can certainly be combined to create what is known as a "well-rounded person". To better understand this concept I recommend seeing: a therapist.

Pride: To me, Pride is the Sin of going your own way and refining yourself regardless of what others think of your path. The best example of Pride would of course be the Blade Lineage. This Syndicate is a rough collection of swordsmen from S Corp. that were exiled and seek to restore the honor that's been lost in S Corp. Something interesting to note is the abundance of Sin Affinities among the BL IDs, which highlights how the Blade Lineage are unique people with their own talents and stories to tell, united by their common purpose.

Emotionally, Pride resonates with calmness. While not traditionally an emotion, calm is certainly a kind of emotional /state/ that allows you to focus on what you need and want to do with your life. Also, this is not the same thing as Sloth's emotion, if you mistake a lack of emotion for calmness, please refer to the end of the Gloom section. Pride relates to Poise, which is pretty simple, the calmness of Pride allows you to strike deeper than you ordinarily would.

Yeesh, it's 2 am. At least there's only one left.

Envy: Envy is the Sin of comparison, of acting because of what someone else has done. This is distinct from Sloth because Envy is about the response to others' actions, which can often mean fighting against the "flow" that Sloth would follow. It's also distinct from Wrath because Wrath can be self-motivated, without any one event or person to prompt the Wrathful actions, while Envy is defined by that prompt. The best example of Envy, would of course be Heathcliff. Basically everything this guy has ever done is because somebody else fucked with him somehow, be it Cathy giving him a crush, the people of Wuthering Heights beating him up, or even Dante and Cathy making the choice to erase her from the Mirror without his input, prompting him to care about the power of the Golden Bough for the first time since joining Limbus Company.

Envy connects with the emotion of jealousy, a desire for what someone else has that you lack, which is pretty self-explanatory. But how does this have anything to do with Charge of all things? Well, I think that Charge is representative of the "journey" of Envy. You start out normally and don't have the full investment into the fight that you could have, but as the enemy continues to push you to your limits, the intensity increases and you put more and more effort behind your attacks to retaliate and push them back. It might be a bit generic, but that's kinda what Charge is, right?

Welp, that was a long read right, but we're finally done! Thank you for reading through my very indepth thoughts on this all the way through!

Worm regards, everyone!