#(but i figured the text in this one would be easy enough to get rid of since it was all in the sky)

[robo-dino-puppy]

plains patrol

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires - Part 14

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.

Words: 696

Masterlist

My Joe is kind of like Netflix!Joe and also like Book!Joe, who kills people and then goes "So anyway..."

I thought you'd notice how distracted I am, considering the amount of time we've been spending together.

But no, you are fighting with your grandparents and your mother isn't answering your calls and you don't want to talk about it so I am giving you your space. It's that easy.

You are thankful. You promise you'll make it up to me later.

You don't have to make anything up to me, (Y/n). You are giving me the time I need to rid the world of a pest.

It's surprisingly easy to get Jasper alone. His polygamous relationship is unfulfilling (shocking), so he spends most of his free time running around New York with his ‘friends’, who probably wouldn't notice if I walked up and stabbed him right in front of them. His evenings consist of getting drunk at shady bars and buying drugs from shady people. It only costs me three days to figure out his entire pattern.

How this man manages to be so put-together at work every day is one of life's great mysteries.

On day four, I spend the early afternoon at a thrift shop. I buy a tracksuit that looks sufficiently used and a baseball cap that looks sufficiently new. At the end of the work day, I wait around outside your office (making sure you don't see me when you leave) for Jasper to come out.

And then I follow him.

Jasper doesn't drive. He's the kind of asshole who takes the train because he thinks it makes him look down to earth. Good thing for me, because it makes it so much easier to stay on his tail.

First, he goes home, but he only stays there for an hour. Just long enough to appease his wife. Then, he leaves again.

Tonight's shady bar is actually near your apartment, but I don't think Jasper knows that. All he knows is this is the wrong kind of neighborhood, which means it's the right kind of neighborhood for his purposes.

I really need to get you to keep your windows closed.

Jasper meets three guys outside and they all shout-greet each other and slap each other's shoulders the way these types often do, and then they go inside.

You know how you can tell that I love you, (Y/n)? I spend nearly six hours waiting inside the disgusting alley, leaning against the wall with one leg bent, foot against the brick, like drug dealers in movies do. I've got my cap pulled low over my eyes and I pretend I'm texting frantically. When the wrong people approach me, I glare at them until they walk away.

It's after midnight when Jasper stumbles outside. He is alone. He is either so drunk or so uninterested that he doesn't realize he knows me. He wants cocaine and I tell him I have some.

There's a woman smoking at the mouth of the alley, but her back is to us and it is so easy to lead Jasper around the corner to where there's a dead-end and knock him out. There are no cameras here, no doors. There is a dumpster, but nobody's going to come out and throw anything away until two am, when the bar closes.

Jasper should be grateful. He dies without anyone noticing - including himself. It's easy. Painless.

When they find his body, it will be a drug deal gone wrong and everyone will pretend they never thought something like that would happen to him even though they really did think it would. They were waiting for it. People like Jasper always end up like this in the end.

Nobody will ever think to connect either of us to his death. Why would they? You would never come to a place like this and me? I barely know the guy.

As I leave, I check my phone for texts from you. There are none because you don't know what I just did for you, so you don't know to thank me. But when you find out about Jasper's death, you will pretend to be sad and secretly thank whoever is responsible, which means you will be thanking me anyway.

[nomorethoughts]

impdubs or mumbo/bdubs (mumdubs? i think?)

pretty please my beloved pal o7

so you know how most of these drabbles have been like 250-400 words? yeah this one is nearly 700 i got carried away LMFAO-

thanks for voting mumscott and enjoy some second year college au mumbo/bdubs <3 <3

★

“So how have midterms been treating you?” Mumbo asked. He shifted a bit awkwardly across from Bdubs, drumming his fingers idly against the side of his paper coffee cup.

“It’s been crazy!” said Bdubs. “I don’t even understand how my classes picked up this fast, I mean with 17 credits and space club, I can barely stay on top of everything. It’s kind of the worst!” He added, with a little laugh. 

“That bad?” Mumbo asked, cracking a bit of a smile. 

“That bad,” Bdubs confirmed. “What? Don’t tell me it’s easy for you.” 

“Oh no,” Mumbo said, shaking his head. “Not in the slightest. I’ve got three exams on Thursday. Three. In one day.” ‘

“That’s crazy… Shouldn’t you be studying then?” He teased. 

“You sound like you’re trying to get rid of me,” Mumbo said, making a move to stand up. 

Bdubs scoffed. “No way! Sit back down, I haven’t seen you in a month.” 

Mumbo laughed, settling back down more comfortably this time. This kind of back and forth reminded him of last semester. He could recall their frequent coffee outings together, their late nights “studying” in the library for their shared engineering class, and waking up on the floor of Bdubs’ dorm, half-sprawled on top of each other and definitely late for class. 

Not for the first time, Mumbo wondered what had happened to all of that. Fall semester of his second year just didn’t have that same spark. 

“It really has been a while,” Mumbo agreed. 

“Are you only now just figuring that out?” Bdubs asked. “I’ve barely seen you at all this semester!” 

“Oh believe me, I’ve realized,” Mumbo said. “I guess I never exactly realized just how terribly our schedules clashed. And exactly how little I’ve seen of you.”

“Even now, you’ve only got, what, an hour until class?” Bdubs asked, checking his watch for emphasis. 

Mumbo checked the time on his phone. “Less, technically.” 

“Skip class. Hang out with me instead.”

“I can’t do that!” Mumbo laughed. “Look, I bet I could guess why we lost touch so terribly, and I’ll tell you that I’m not the one who moved all the way across campus.” 

“Oh come on!” Bdubs laughed. “That again? It’s nothing personal, the dorms on East Side are way nicer. It can’t be the only reason I’ve barely seen you!”

“Fair. But you could’ve texted.” 

“So could you! Or you could’ve come to visit.” 

“Is that an invitation?” 

Bdubs grinned. “Isn’t it always? You spent enough nights at my place last semester, why would this semester be any different?”

Mumbo sipped his coffee. “It has felt different though, right?” He asked. “I mean, that much isn’t just me?” 

Bdubs hummed thoughtfully. “It has felt different,” he decided, “I don’t know why though.” 

“Me neither.” 

There was quiet between them for a few minutes, before Bdubs spoke up again. 

“We’re idiots,” he decided. 

Mumbo laughed. “What?” 

“We’re idiots!” Bdubs repeated. “We had no reason to fall out of touch, we both just made assumptions about how the other person was feeling, and neither of us reached out!” 

“...Oh my God, we might be idiots.” 

Bdubs laughed. “I know!” 

The laughter they shared felt familiar in the way they were both evidently craving, and for a moment, it was like no time had passed at all. 

“We wasted half a semester, didn’t we?” Mumbo finally admitted with a sigh. 

Bdubs shrugged. “Sorta, but we’re here now. And we’ve got the rest of the year to turn it around.” 

Mumbo hummed, slowly nodding in agreement. 

“Come over tonight,” Bdubs said finally. “Like old times! Bring whatever homework you have to do and we’ll spend too much money on takeout and crash on my floor.” 

“I actually really like the sound of that,” Mumbo agreed. 

“Seven, can you be over at seven?” 

“I can be over at seven.” For the first time since spring, Mumbo felt that familiar inability to stop smiling. Maybe Bdubs was right, maybe nothing had changed. Maybe they were just idiots. And maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t too late to pick up where they left off after all.

@scottsmajorshipbracket

[https-harlow]

Fight The Feeling Prologue- Part 11 Breakups and Fights

Summary- Urban tells you that Jack is cheating on you, and you and Jack break up, but not for the reason you were expecting.

About a week after you found out Jack was cheating on you, Urban stayed home one day while Jack went to set. Urban knew Jack was cheating, and ever since he found out a couple days after it started, he felt guilty about keeping it from you. Every time Urban asked Jack about it, Jack would tell him that he was going to tell you soon.

After Urban found out about another girl Jack cheated on you with, though just once, not multiple times like he had with Alexa, Urban had enough. Urban wasn’t sure why Jack continued to cheat on you when he still claimed he loved you. Jack did feel bad about continuing to cheat on you, but he did it because he didn’t want your forgiveness. Jack knew you were a very forgiving person, but he knew that he hurt you and that you shouldn’t forgive him. 

Jack also needed to know for himself that once he told you, that you weren’t going to forgive him. Jack didn’t want to sit and wonder months later if he could have gotten your forgiveness. In a way, continuing to cheat and hurt you would lead to closure in your relationship for Jack, even if that meant that he had to live with the guilt of hurting the best person he had ever met, and probably would ever meet. 

Urban waited a little bit after Jack left to sit you down and tell you about Jack. 

“Look, Y/N, I don’t want to be the one to tell you this. I shouldn’t be the one to tell you this, but as your friend I can’t let this keep happening. Jack’s uh, he’s.” You could tell what Urban was going to say, and that he didn’t want to, so you said it for him.

“Cheating on me?” You asked and Urban nodded slightly. “I know.” You admitted. It felt weird to say out loud, it made it seem real as you admitted it for the first time. 

“Wait, how do you know?” Urban asked, confused.

“I, I saw some texts, that I wasn’t supposed to, from Alexa.” You told him.

“Why are you still with him then?” Urban asked. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re still here, but I wouldn’t blame you if you left.” Urban clarified.

“I still love him.” You admitted, your eyes tearing up. “I just want Jack to be honest with me, I mean there has to be a reason he cheated. Was it something I did? Does he suddenly not love me anymore because I thought everything was fine. I just want an explanation because I feel like we could work things out.” You said, letting your tears fall for the first time. “I know that sounds so fucking stupid, but I love him and it’s hard for those feelings to just go away overnight.”

You had thought about the situation you were in with Jack, but this was the first time you had talked about it to someone. Urban sighed softly, pulling you in for a hug. 

“You don’t sound stupid. Jack owes you an explanation, but I don’t think you did anything for him to cheat on you, but that’s a conversation you’ll have to have with Jack.” Urban said, rubbing your back to try and comfort you.

“I know I’m just hurting myself more by staying, and I know I should leave, but I just need to hear him out, and if that ends in us working things out, or if it ends in a breakup, then that’s okay. I’ll deal with it if I have to.” You said. 

“You know, no matter what, I’ll always be here for you. I know I’ve known Jack longer, but you’ve become just as much my friend as he is, you’re not getting rid of me that easy.” Urban said.

“Oh, I literally just moved to Kentucky, so you’re not getting rid of me at least until my lease is up.” You told Urban and he laughed softly. “Thank you for telling me though. I really do apricate it.”

“Of course. You don’t deserve to be cheated on, and I know you don’t want to leave him, and I get that, but I think you two at least need time apart. Jack needs to figure his shit out, you can always forgive him in, like, a year but I don’t think you should forgive him right away.” Urban said and you nodded.

“I just don’t want to be the one to bring it up. I am pissed at him, obviously, but it would be nice for him to at least be honest with me. I thought I would spend the rest of my life with him. I never thought that we would be in the position where that might not be, and probably won’t be the case.” You said, Urban sighed softly.

“I thought you two would spend the rest of your lives together too.” Urban admitted.

“You did?” You asked.

“Yeah, I truly did think you two were perfect for each other.” Urban said, not telling you about the fact that Jack had boughten an engagement ring. “I still think you could be if Jack gets his shit together, but you can’t make it easy on him to make it up to you.” Urban told you.

“Do you think he’ll try?” You asked, playing with the charm on your necklace.

“I don’t know. I hope he does. I don’t want to speak for him, but he does still say he loves you.”

“Do you know why he cheated?”

“That’s something you need to talk to him about.” Urban told you and you nodded slightly. 

Urban spent the rest of the day trying to distract you from your situation with Jack, watching movies and making random snacks, which didn’t really work, but you appreciated the effort. You also appreciated that Urban told you that Jack was cheating on you. You didn’t expect him to, assuming he wouldn’t, if he even knew. It was nice having someone to be able to talk to about the situation, and over the next week you talked to Urban about Jack often. Urban was able to ‘convince’ you that you and Jack did need time apart. You knew he was right before he even said it, you just needed someone to talk about it with.

A week later, you and Jack were at the house alone, Urban went out for the night. Jack decided this was his best opportunity to finally tell you what he had been doing. Ever since the first time Jack cheated on you, he had felt horrible about it, even though he had continued to do it. 

“Y/N?” Jack asked, sitting down on the bed next to you.

“Yeah?” You asked, looking up from your phone.

“Can we talk?” He asked and you nodded, sitting up.

“Yeah, sure, about what?” You asked, you knew what he was going to say. Even though you knew, you were nervous. Over the last two weeks, you had thought about this conversation several times, going over what was going to be said thousands of times, but that didn’t make it any more pleasant of a conversation to have. You knew by the end of this conversation you and Jack were going to be broken up, and it was a weird feeling.

“I-I don’t know how to tell you this.” Jack sighed, running his hands through his curls. 

“Hey.” You said, grabbing his hands, holding them in yours. “You can tell me anything.” You told Jack, comforting him even though you weren’t sure why.

“I think we need to take a break. Focus on our careers for a little while.” Jack sighed. “I don’t want to, but I think it’s what best for both of us right now. I’m about to go out on tour, and as much as I want you to come with me, it’s just not possible with both of our careers. I don’t know the next time we’ll be able to see each other after this until after tour, and I don’t want you to have to wait around for me.” Jack lied to you.

Out of every situation you thought of for this conversation, you didn’t see it going like this. You were expecting Jack to be honest with you and tell you he cheated. 

Jack had every intention to be honest with you when he sat down, but something at the last second stopped him. Jack didn’t want to completely break your heart, and even though his explanation made no sense, you two were together for his previous tour, he thought it was better than telling you he had cheated. 

“What?” You asked, your eyes immediately starting to tear up as you dropped his hands. 

“I’m sorry.” Jack whispered and you stood up from the bed. 

“No. You don’t get to be fucking sorry.” You yelled at him. In the moment, you weren’t focused on the cheating. “What happened to us going public with our relationship after you’re done filming?”

“I don’t think it’s the right time for that. I just, I don’t know. I thought about it a lot and I still love you, but I just think we need to focus on our careers for a little bit.”

“So, you’re just going to make that decision for both of us?” You asked, tears streaming down your face. Jack tried to say something, but you cut him off before he could. “I can’t fucking believe you Jack. I loved you and you’re just giving up on us?” You wanted to confront Jack on the cheating, but you couldn’t bring yourself to bring it up, you were thrown off, so you didn’t even have time to process anything other than what Jack was telling you.

While you were yelling at Jack, you had gotten your suitcase out and were throwing your stuff into it.

“I love you too. I’m not giving up on us, I just think it would be easier for both of us if we took a break.” Jack argued.

“Well taking a break sure sounds a lot like giving up to me.” You said, Jack sighed. 

“Don’t leave, it’s late. Let’s talk about everything and then if you want to leave, you can leave in the morning.” Jack suggested. “I don’t want you leaving by yourself this late.”

“You think after you telling me that you want to put your career above our relationship that I’m going to stay? Fuck you. I can’t believe I ever thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with you.” You said, throwing more stuff into your bag, not caring if it was folded perfectly like you normally did. “Can I ask you something?” You asked, suddenly stopping what you were doing and looking at Jack.

“Anything.”

“Did you actually love me, or was I just some girl you drug around with you so you could sleep with her? Was our whole relationship a lie to you?” You asked.

“Of course, I fucking loved you. I still do. Nothing I did was just so I could have sex with you. Everything I did was because I love you. We’re both young, and at the heights of our careers. We’d be stupid not to try to focus on that while we can.”

“No, that’s where you’re wrong. We’d be stupid not to fight for the person we loved. We’ve made our relationship work, for over a year, but now you’re just so willing to give up, I would have never given up on you this easily.” You told Jack.

“I’m sorry.” Jack said again, reaching out to touch your arm but you pulled it away instantly. “Please, just stay tonight. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“I’m not fucking staying. If I can’t get a flight tonight, I’ll just get a hotel.”

“Y/N please.” Jack begged as you continued to walk around the house, grabbing your stuff. You were certain you were missing stuff and had probably grabbed some of Jack’s clothes in the process, but you would deal with that later. You just wanted to be out of the house. You heard Urban walk back into the house, he was a little thrown off coming home to the two of you yelling at each other, but he also didn’t question it or want to interrupt.

“Jack, you don’t care about me. Stop pretending you do.” You said, finally closing your suitcase and zipping it up.

“I do care about you. If you don’t think I do, Urban does. I don’t want you in an uber alone at fucking one in the morning.” Jack said as you pulled your suitcase out into the living room. Seeing Urban sitting on the couch. Urban looked at Jack, then looked at you, and he knew exactly what had happened while he was gone. Urban smiled at you sadly.

“Urban, can you take me to the airport.” You asked, looking at him. Jack looked at Urban, shaking his head. 

“Just stay here, think about things, and then you can leave in the morning.” Jack told you.

“I would have never done this to you Jack. I wouldn’t have given up on us like this because I loved you. You just had to go and ruin things between us.” You said. “There isn’t anything for me to think about.” You told Jack before looking at Urban again. “Please?” You asked and Urban nodded slightly.

“Yeah, I’ll take you.” Urban told you.

“Thank you, let me go grab my phone.” You said and Urban nodded. You walked back into the bedroom and Jack tried to follow you.

“Y/N, please, don’t leave. I’m sorry, I really am.” Jack said.

“No Jack, you’re right, we do need a break because one of us is clearly more committed to this relationship then the other one. I’m done. We’re done.” You said, grabbing your phone before walking back out into the living room, grabbing your bag, Urban stood there awkwardly as Jack tried to follow you again but just got the door slammed in his face.

“Uh, I take it you told her?” Urban asked, trying to break the silence. 

“Yeah, something like that.” Jack sighed, running his hands through his hair.

“I’ll be back.” Urban told Jack before following you out the front door and to the rental car.

On the drive to the airport, you contacted your manager Claire, telling her to send a private jet as soon as possible, and the car was silent other than your quiet sobs. You knew your breakup with Jack was going to hurt, but you at least expected the truth out of him. 

“I’m sorry.” Urban sighed softly, reaching over to put his hand on your arm, trying to comfort you the best he could while also driving.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault.” You said, leaning your head back against the seat. It was silent again until Urban pulled up to the airport. 

“Do you have a flight?” Urban asked you, parking the car before looking over at you. 

“Yeah, the plane will be here in a couple hours, but I’d rather be here than in a house with Jack right now.” You said and Urban nodded in understanding.

“Do you want to get a hotel room?” Urban asked and you shook your head.

“It won’t be that long, I’ll be fine.” You told him and he nodded. “If you’re missing any clothes, let me know, because quite honestly, I have no idea what I packed.” You said, trying to joke and Urban laughed softly.

“It’s okay, I get it.” 

“Promise me you’ll come see me the second you get back home? I’m serious, I don’t want to lose you as a friend just because of everything that happened between Jack and I.” You said, wiping your tears, before getting out of the car, Urban getting out of the car also so he could help you with your bag.

“Promise. As long as you promise to text me when you leave and when you land.” Urban said and you nodded.

“Promise.” You told Urban before he pulled you into a hug. 

“I’m sorry, I really am.” Urban rubbed your back slightly as you started to cry again.

“Like I said, it’s not your fault, but thank you.” You said, sighing as you pulled away from the hug. You wiped your tears again.

“Text me if you change your mind and want to get a hotel room, or even just want company.” Urban told you and you nodded.

“I will, but I think I just need a little time to myself right now.”

“That’s fine, I just don’t want you to feel like you have to be alone.” Urban said. “Is someone picking you up when you land?”

“Yeah, Madison is going to pick me up.” You said. “Now go back home and get some sleep. I know you have to be up early tomorrow. Thank you for driving me.” You said.

“Of course. I’ll see you in a couple weeks.” 

You and Urban finished saying goodbye, and he waited until you were let into the private flight waiting area before he left. In a few hours you would be back in Kentucky, somewhere that reminded you of Jack, except this time, he wouldn’t be with you. 

Tag list @jackharloww @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @hoodharlow @itsyagirljaz @heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @awhore4moree @harlowslefttoe @twerkforambrose @jackmans-poison @ilovenudy @taniapri @killatravtramp @easternparkway @macey234 @toocriticalharlow @lightsoutstyles @rachxc13 @iknowdatsrightbih

@idktbh101

[nowoyas]

Koi no Yokan Outtake 2: Stop Being Weird (nishinoya yuu/reader)

First - Prev - Next - M.list - Ao3

A/N: happy koiny day! this is just a fun little outtake I wrote after having some fun replying to comments lmao. unlike the previous outtake this one is NOT meant to be read as a standalone, but can still be skipped at no loss to the plot. takes place during the previous chapter.

Summary: In which we see the livetexting of the wake-up scene through new eyes.

Warnings and Tags: none!

Words: ~700

In Yamamoto Taketora's boldest move to date, he took one of the closest possible seats to the managers' table in the cafeteria at dinner. It's not that he meant to stare or meant to eavesdrop, and truly, eavesdropping takes effort with somewhere between fifty and a hundred guys all crammed into the room for dinner at the same time.

It's because of this—and the staring habit he's failing to get rid of—that he's close enough to notice when Noya marches right up to the girls and starts talking. Definitely close enough to notice him leave with Eri from Ubugawa, a tray of food in his hand.

The conclusion's easy enough to draw—Noya had mentioned your concussion, and you were notably absent from dinner, so he figures Noya's probably going with Eri to bring you food, wherever you're currently holed up. The explanation does little for the pang of jealousy—lucky bastard, going to bring food to one beautiful woman while accompanied by the adorable Miyanoshita Eri, pigtails and smile and all—but at least he can try to explain it away as all innocent.

Anyway, there's still five beautiful women to try not to stare too openly at, so Tora's a little busy with other concerns right now. Yukie, from Fukurodani, is trying to get away with stealing food off Kaori's plate by pretending to be focused on her phone.

Part of Tora thinks he should be normal and stop staring, but then he's watching Yukie show her phone to Kaori and say something to the rest of the girls, and then Mako's reaching for her own phone and so is Kaori, and Tora realizes that the girls must have a group chat.

What he wouldn't give to know what they use it for.

Mako is passing her phone across the table to two of the three most recent additions to the manager squad, and then Yukie is gasping loudly, sparkles in the air above her at something on her phone. A smattering of giggles from the other girls follows.

He's heard of this. They're gossiping.

Mako's getting her phone back as Kiyoko says something too quiet to hear, but Tora hardly needs to strain to hear the aghast response from the three non-Karasuno managers.

"What?" Mako says. "No, there's no way. You've gotta be messing with us."

Kiyoko shakes her head, and Hitoka raises a hand, adding something at an equal volume to Kiyoko. In other words, inaudible to him, in spite of his best efforts.

Hitoka and Kiyoko are now producing their own cell phones. He's now watching five beautiful women stare at their phones, three of five tittering and giggling at some update or another. He desperately wants to know what it is they're so focused on, but—it's not like he can ask. He's not strong enough for that.

Some other text must have come in to the mythic girls' group chat, because all five of them jolt in surprise at something on their phones at the same time.

"Okay, so they're dating, then," Kaori says confidently. "That's dating behavior."

"Trust me," says Kiyoko, "everyone in Japan would know if he'd gotten a girlfriend."

Correction: they're not just gossiping.

They're gossiping about boys.

He downs the rest of his drink and tunes in until he's getting roughly elbowed by Yaku. "Stop being weird."

"Right," he says. "Sorry."

~

Yachi to Fukurodani Group Managers!!! at 22:13

Yachi: don't forget to add [name]-chan! I've got her number

Yachi: [attachment: 1 new contact, labeled "[full name]"]

Kaori: we definitely need to. We need her to answer for whatever is making her NOT date cute concerned libero boy

Mako has added [name] to the group Fukurodani Group Managers!!!

[name]: …

[name]: did you guys know that I can read the chat history?

Eri: oh cool! I didn't!!

[name]: stop being weird. senpai's just my best friend, that's all

Shimizu: the BEST friend upgrade is new

Eri: ok thanks for the clarification. you know it’s a good idea to marry your best friend?

[name]: I actually hate it here

Tags: @deeplightgarden @idonthaveanameideayet @dusstory @kazunish

[pink-tonic]

Prologue🔪

Previous

Next

All Chapters

Warnings: Death, graphic depictions of violence, blood

There are a few text messages so:

Bold text = Ayato

Red text = Info-Chan

Green text = (Y/N)

It's the first day back after the incident with the boy.

I have never liked school all that much ever since I was little. The condition I was born with prevented me from having meaningful friendships with others. In turn, I got made fun for it. Labeled as a monster for something I couldn't completely control.

Except for one. My childhood friend, (Y/N) (L/N). I still don't know why he decided to be my friend, but I guess it wasn't too bad to have him around. Others started to view him differently since he associated with me, but those comments didn't stop him from being my friend.

As time passed by, we both started to drift apart, but that didn't matter all too much to me. I found someone else.

His name is Taro Yamada, and he is the younger brother of Taeko Yamada.

Taeko Yamada is the girl who made my world brighter.

I first met her at Taro's house, and I fell in love with her. My world gained color, and everything became so much brighter. For the first time, I felt emotion.

I could feel love starting to bubble up inside of me, and it scared me, but I couldn't help but embrace it. And it all started with a smile and a wave from her as she walked down the stairs.

I later found out that she also goes to Akadimi. How have I never noticed her?

With Taro being her brother, I had to use his connection with her to my advantage.

I told him one day that I caught feelings for Taeko. He seemed...unsure about what I said. It was as if he didn't want to believe my word, almost like he was scared.

It didn't matter what he thought, I knew it would be easy to get him on my side, but it was clear that the progress I wished for was not being made.

With time, I found someone else who could help me. Her name is Info-chan. I was skeptical about her, but I later found out she was valuable to have around.

One day, I got a massage from her.

I think you might want to know something

What is it?

The object of your affection, Taeko Yamada, also has other people after her.

Who is it?

It's a first year, I found out he is planning on confessing this Friday under the cherry tree.

What should I do?

That's all up to you.

I tried texting her, but she didn't respond, so I decided to take things into my own hands.

A day before he confessed, I made him follow me. It was quite easy to make him follow me. I was his upperclassmen, so he practically looked up to me.

I lead him into the boys' locker room. He started to ask questions, but I told him I needed something for practice, and it wouldn't take long to get it.

He waited patiently near the entrance. I walked towards my locker and took out a knife I had hidden within it.

I slowly walked towards him and pulled out the knife. With a quick motion, I sloppily sliced open his throat. I covered his mouth, and I could feel his nails claw at my clothed arm. I held him tightly, and my eyes traveled towards his struggling figure. I could clearly see his life drain out his eyes. He twitched a bit more before he laid limp in my arms. I then dropped his body, and a loud thud could be heard echoing throughout the locker room.

When I dropped him, a pool of blood started slowly trickling out of his throat and surround him. It was after school, and I made sure none of the sports club members were inside, and they wouldn't be coming back inside to change until an hour later. I had enough time to clean everything up.

First, I took off my clothes and went towards the showers. I rinsed off all the blood and then put on my gym uniform. I then grabbed my blood-stained clothes and knife, and headed out.

I headed to the incinerator, but I was met with a surprise. The gate was closed and there was a lock. This meant I couldn't get rid of thd knife, clothes or body.

I felt my nails dig into the fabric of my uniform. How could this happen?

I now had to look for an alternative way to get rid of the evidence. I decided to go to the home economic room and throw my clothes into the washer. While for my knife, I cleaned it at one of the drinking fountains.

Now, I had to get rid of the body.

I went back to the boys' locker room and still saw the student surrounded by his own blood. I first dragged his body closer to me and away from his blood. I also made sure to watch my step, I didn't want my shoes to get any blood on them.

When I got his body away from the pool of blood, I bent down and carried his body.

I started to run to the back of the cherry tree. I made sure none of the sports club members were around and made a dash towards the back of the hill.

I dropped his body harshly and rushed back to the school. I went to the restroom and got the cleaning supplies. I filled the blue bucket with water, dumped some bleach into it, and grabbed the matching blue mop.

I rushed back to the room. I placed the bucket down as some of the water spilled down. I dipped the mop into the bucket and started to clean up the blood.

Sweep

Dip

Sweep

Dip

I repeated these actions until the blood was all cleaned up. I picked up the blue bucket which now had bloody water in it, and I ran to the bathrooms. I dumped the bloody water into the sink, and I then cleaned the sink. I then headed back to get the mop. I cleaned the mop in the bathroom and then sat it back where I found it. As if nothing was moved.

I then ran to the home economic room. I took my uniform and rushed out of the school.

My first attempt was sloppy, but even if they found the body, it didn't matter. I'm still a free man, after all, and I'm planning to keep it that way.

They didn't find the body when I left, but the next day a teacher found it in the morning.

I still remember that day. I wasn't nervous or scared. I felt confident that I would get away with it, and I did.

They questioned me, but I answered with lies. Eventually, they didn't suspect me anymore and let me go. I was just seen as another innocent student like everyone else.

When I was free to go home, I headed home and got ready to relax. I turned on the television and saw news about what happened at the school.

I listened to the television but it was the same information I had already heard, so I switched off the TV.

I started to get ready for bed, and before I laid down, I noticed a notification. It was a text message from (Y/N). The message was sent over an hour ago. I decided I would respond.

Did you hear that they're closing the school for a few months?

Is it because of the killing?

Yes, the police want to do a bigger investigation, so they don't want students to be walking around

I smirked at the message. Knowing that the police wouldn't find anything besides the body.

That's understansable.

It kind of sucks but it's an understandable decision

Thanks for letting me know.

I cut the conversation off early and went to bed.

Now, all of that is in the past, and the first day back is today. I got ready and left my house. I went to Taro's house and I saw him waiting outside for me. I hoped to see Teako, and maybe she would even join us on our walk to school, but she had already left.

As Taro joined me, he started up a conversation.

"Ayato, did you hear that there is going to be a small assembly to honor the victim," he told me.

"No."

"Oh, really? I thought you might have already known about it," he said to me,"Well, we should head straight to the gymnasium since I don't think we will have any time to spare today."

I nod at what Taro told me. I don't care about the assembly, but maybe I will be able to see Taeko there?

[sunriseverse]

For the ask game for fic writers: 2, 8, 10, 20, 27, 37, 45, 52, 55, 75, 88, 99

ah, sass, thank you! i love talking about writing :) this is going below the cut because it got long.

2. talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

hm...................i was going to say that i don't usually have this problem and usually just run into the issue of my own mind refusing to write something that doesn't take into account the societal and cultural context i'm writing the characters in, but then i remembered the time i was writing god knows i can never get rid of habits and i was about halfway through, sleep deprived as fuck, and texted my friend in an exasperated, defeated tone, quote, "the show has repeatedly made me say “ugh fuck there’s a blowjob in my future isn’t there” which sounds wild out of context but the context is i think i can’t avoid writing them fucking in this fic". sometimes i cannot control the characters sometimes they really just want to have sex and i have to deal with this.

8. what’s your relationship with constructive criticism and feedback like? do you seek it out? how well do you take it?

if you try and give me "concrit" on my fanfic then i rip you to shreds in dms with my friends. i write to excise the spirit of creativity from where it's possessing my physical form, not to have people try and tell me how to "better" my writing. i'm aware my writing tends to have a lot of things people don't usually enjoy (heavily descriptive, emotion-focused, present tense, a more realistic approach to tropes or themes, etc) and i, frankly, don't care. my writing is for me; everyone else is just getting to enjoy it because i'm egotistical enough to post it. (that said, for my original writing i welcome concrit, because i actually have the intent of having them published. i just haven't managed to get around to finishing many original projects, historically.)

10. at what point in the process do you come up with titles, and how easy or hard is that for you?

i do not come up with titles until the moment i have to post to ao3. i hate coming up with titles and am very grateful when i figure out a lyric from a song or a line from a poem fits it. well..........usually, anyway. all my sunrise fics have had pre-planned titles—but, then again, sunrise is very much an outlier, so.

20. what is your favorite trope to write?

i don't think i've really had a defined trope across my writing the last few years? i guess if i had to choose one, probably the 5+1 format or derivations of it.

27. do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished? 28. And who do you share them with?

for people to read my rough drafts i would have to have rough drafts. i genuinely don't give a fuck about "perfecting" a piece, whatever gets written the first time is what gets posted. could my writing be "better"? probably! do i care? no. i wouldn't say my writing is the best ever, but i personally like it and that's what matters. that said, i do send screenshots of sections i really like to my friends as i write, because i like making them yell at me.

37. when creating characters, what comes first: appearance, backstory, motivation, personality, something else?

this i guess only really applies to ocs; in that case, i usually come up with a character archetype, an archetype i'm trying to subvert, or an overarching narrative from which i can extrapolate characters. after that, i come up with names based on that, and then appearances are what i come up with last, usually.

45. name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

only three???? no. absolutely not. @lungache @butchybats @lucientelrunya @owengrose @lunarriviera @lunanoc and probably more whose urls i am forgetting.

52. how many unfinished ideas/stories are you working on at the same time?

oh god......................i have so many unfinished fics T^T i have ones that are unfinished but actively being worked on, unfinished but not actively being worked on but which i think about regularly, unfinished and i wish i could finish them but i just never have the time, unfinished because they were a joint project with a friend and then we never finished them and now we're both too busy and not in those fandoms anymore, and unfinished and rotting forever in the cabinet of abandoned wips.

55. do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

uhhhhh okay so. i have. a megop fic (transfomers aligned continuity, pre canon), another megop fic (also aligned continuity), a dc fic, and a gotham fic. the transformers fics would probably be most likely to be completed because i actually have detailed notes for them, the dc fic is dead in the water, and the gotham fic i would have to rewatch the show and i don't need to hurt myself like that again.

75. do you know how your story ends before you start writing?

yeah i need to know at least the basic narrative beats before i start writing. often this means me rambling at my friends in our dms to work out my ideas and the approach i want to take, but i can't start something without knowing how it ends because otherwise it'll never be finished.

88. if you could have another author write your wip for you (bc we all dream of this occasionally), who would it be?

hmmmmm i think i would make @xueyang write my mdzs fics because i think they could make them funny. and good. and also emotionally devastating. (hi mar i'm going to write that fic for you i Swear.)

99. was being a writer a dream of yours when you were little? or did it spring up when your older? or is it just a hobby? 

actually i never expected to become a writer, despite having been writing since i was a young child. i actually thought i wanted to be a fashion designer. which to be fair i guess kind of happened since i can't stop drawing outfit/character designs. but yeah i didn't expect to become a Writer the way that i am now. it's easily one of the foundational aspects of my life and daily routines, and i could not have expected that the first time i started writing.

[flythesail]

Last summer, I decided to get rid of an old wallet when my parents had a garage sale. It was pink with a cat and sequins. I don't remember ever using it as a real wallet, just something to play with as a kid.

But the wallet interests someone, and she checks the pockets before she buys it for a quarter. I must have missed a pocket because inside was a library receipt from 2011. The text is so faded I can barely read it, but the title at the top is easy enough to make out: The Secret of the Old Clock.

Now, I don't remember reading Nancy Drew as a kid. So did I ever read that book or just check it out? There's no way to know. But even if i didn't, it's funny to think about that receipt going forgotten for over a decade, only to be found when Nancy Drew has come to mean so much to me.

Believe it or not... In 2019, I watched Nancy Drew for the first time and decided I didn't like it. It's not what I expected it to be, and I didn't like other CW shows, so why bother.

Right...?

Okay, I did bother and continued to give it a classic "half paying attention" watch anyway.

For as much as I claimed to not care, I googled "Does Ace die in Nancy Drew" after 1x07. I fell in love with the Drew Crew when they showed up and surrounded Nancy in her living room, although she didn’t ask. I saw Nick carve his name under one of the tables at the Claw, and listened to Nancy and Ace read emails out loud in the library. I saw Bess and George become truer versions of themselves.

There's something beautiful about stories that are given the room to grow. That last long enough that you can change your mind and grow right along with them.

Sometimes, life sucks. Yet Nancy Drew became one thing I could count on when I needed good in my life. When college was hard or when a global pandemic made it nearly impossible to make new friends at a time I was also losing some from high school - the Drew Crew were there for me with their mystery solving, own struggles, and general shenanigans.

Over the next years, I'd go from watching new episodes days after they premiered to watching them live. I'd write over 100k of fic and realize through it that writing is all I want to do with my life. I'd spend so much time in these characters' heads that they would begin to feel like my own.

Nancy Drew is about finding your people and your place in the world. It hits that early adulthood period that maybe isn't talked about as much as it should be and it makes you feel a little less alone when you see the way you feel in your own life reflected on screen.

We've seen Nancy start at the Claw, find her family, fall in love, build strong relationships with her fathers, and bring her mothers with her. Nancy Drew is a show that says it's okay to not have it all figured out - or maybe even to never - because who you become along the way is just as important. Nancy Drew is a show that says things do get better, and sometimes that's exactly what you need to be told.

So here's to a show that means a lot to me, and to all the wonderful people I've met along the way. Here's to every rewatch to come. That's the best part about stories. Even when you reach the end, you can always go back to the beginning. You can feel the way they made you feel all over again.

[leatherbookmark]

another thing is that like. s1 wasn't the most brilliant thing in the whole universe but it did have a slowly progressing community plot. in the first episode, the crew's plotting to kill stede off, in episode 3 jim says he's the worst captain ever, but by episode 9 they've all grown to like him at least a bit, and so they confirm that he absolutely is a real pirate, eligible to use the act of grace, and they even do the talk it through as a crew thing. very cute!

and then s2 just... kindasorta... does... nothing... with that? sure, the crews get separated, they earned some trauma, but it's a comedy series and surely they can get over it and be one crew together again, right? look, half of the crew stays with stede even though they could have just left him -- he has nothing to offer them, after all -- the other half misses the life on the old revenge, then everyone's working with stede to take the revenge back, they're coming back home! they unionize (lol) against stede in ep4 to banish ed because he makes them feel unsafe, then in ep5 to make stede get rid of that awful cursed suit! in ep6, they have a big fun party!

eeeeexcept the swede just leaves without a second thought, and after he's gone no one misses him. buttons gets roach going "did he really turn into a bird or did you kill him", but that's it, no one misses him either and no one really notices they've lost two crew members in a couple of days. when a character is absent because their actor is absent, no one really goes "hey, where's X?", no one really notices that, so we have not one but two annoying examples of "wow, i was doing X and i missed all this stuff!" (lucius+pete and fang). olu, jim and archie are totally up for leaving stede's crew to join zheng yi sao for... no reason whatsoever. i've seen meta that it's because they don't feel comfortable on the ship or don't trust ed anymore, or have enough of stede's 15 minutes of fame, but like, is it text that this is the reason why they're leaving, or just something you as a fan figured out because you actively tried to find an explanation? sure, the crew wasn't a big fan of ed's apology, but did anyone protest very much, aside from lucius? not really. no one tried to get him to leave, no one avoided him during the party, the animosity, if it was there, just wasn't shown.

and now, in episode 8, well. everyone knows what happened in episode 8.

i'm kinda laughing bitterly here, because i made a post about how what izzy's done to the crew wasn't that much worse than what the crew do to each other, and does it mean they're not a good crew and don't care about each other?, no!, it means we're in a workplace comedy and everyone's a bit of an asshole! except. except i was kind of right, because the crew just goes and falls apart and it's barely noticeable, like they weren't a crew in the first place. it's not even sad, it doesn't have a reason, they just scatter around -- whether it's an actor wanting out, or scheduling conflicts, or money issues, i don't know, or the writers needing something that would piss stede off enough to challenge zheng yi sao to a stupid duel. the reviews and reactions to ep 6 were all wow, so moving, so euphoric, a love letter to the queer community, and it's like, a what to what. where. i don't see anything.

i've no idea, maybe djenks really looked at this episode and thought oh yeah, this is a good save point before s3, if we get renewed we can work from here, if we don't it's still a nice ending, but it's literally not in both cases. if it's an ending, it sucks. if it's a middle point, i don't actually want a s3 because the community is not a thing, my favourite little guy was killed off in the stupidest way possible, and the mains got the ending that i thought would never happen since s1, because it's too easy, too utopian, and besides it was obvious that the inn thing was only ed's escapist fantasy and he needs to find himself and what he really wants just like stede. ha. haha. ha.

i don't really care about this show anymore in the form it is now is the thing.

[fayesdiary]

Faye's Fòdlan Journey: Season 1 - Chapter 1: Welcome to Fòdlan

Introduction

<-Previous Masterpost Next->

After two posts' worth of introductions and preambling, we can finally start playing the actual game.

The objective is simple: Defeat the bandits' leader before they burn down the village. Easy enough.

Weapon Durability returns in this game, contrary to Fates, Echoes and Engage. Personally I feel pretty neutral towards the mechanic as a whole, but it's a nice way to balance Combat Arts, returning from Echoes and consuming durability instead of HP this time.

Here when a weapon breaks, instead of disappearing altogether or turning into a worthless 30 weight 0 might weapon you have to repair or get rid off, it gets a penalty in Might, Hit and Attack Speed, which could be a more elegant solution depending on how severe it is.

Bows also seem to work like they did in Echoes, with an added penalty on hit the further you attack from. Which is, you know, pretty fair. Wonder if Hunter's Volley is just as busted here.

After having a pleasant chat with the three completely ordinary kids, they along with Byleth begin clearing out the bandits, while Jeralt sits in the back doing fuck all and yelling random advice.

Thanks, dad. Really cool.

Good thing Edelgard's there to pick up his slack with the first crit of the game.

Also the proportions between the characters and the village is really funny. My main Edelgard headcanon is that she's a huge kaiju fangirl, so it's nice to see she's fulfilling her dreams. All she needs now is learn how to fire a laser from her mouth.

After killing a few bandits, their leader shows up to pick a fight with Byleth.

They kill him pretty easily.

Except Kostas must have smuggled a Revival Stone from Elyos, since he gets back up like it's nothing.

He charges at Edelgard, but Byleth puts themselves in the way.

But just when the bandit is about to strike...

The world stops.

And Byleth finds themselves in front of Sothis once more, who is pretty peeved they were about to throw away their life so recklessly, since that would also kill her.

She finally introduces herself: Her name is Sothis, also known as "The Beginning". Though she wouldn't be able to tell you why is that, given that lo and behold, she has amnesia, the favorite plot point of modern Fire Emblem.

Someone had to have it, and since Byleth seems to have all of their memories, she lost her privilege to hers. Honestly, I think she'd get along with Alear.

One thing's for sure, though: Her first impression of Byleth is... less then stellar. While she lives and breathes sass and metaphors and moves and emotes a lot for someone with the eepy disease, Byleth is overly blunt, barely emotes and tells morbid jokes with such a straight face everyone thinks they're serious.

Or at least, I'm having them be that way. I love the idea of Byleth being selectively mute and socially inept.

(Also apparently support points can go down? I doubt you'd be able to get the characters to dislike you so it probably just hinders your progress to get their convos)

Apparently Sothis stopped time, something she herself didn't remember she could do. Well, that's convenient.

Luckily for both of them, she figures out she can reverse time too.

Not thanks to Byleth, who joked they could just sit here and wait to die.

Sothis turns back time just enough for Byleth to react to the bandit's attack, bids them farewell with some cryptic nonsense and- wait, is that readable text?

Upon further inspection, it is, even if the only phrase I recognise is at the top, "The goddess always lives in heaven and Fòdlan" and "It is watching over us. The mother[???]".

That's neat! Didn't expect to see readable text in actual English. Usually this stuff is hidden with a special alphabet.

Anyway, this time instead of just putting themselves in front of Edelgard Byleth actually strikes back at the bandit leader, finally putting him down for good.

Wait is he aware Byleth turned back time? How!?

Byleth earns the MVP, which in this game looks like one of those photos you'd get for Employee of the Month. Which I suppose makes sense.

A face shows late to the party. It's Alois, of the Knights of Seiros.

He's really happy to see Jeralt after 20 years, who apparently was the former captain.

Jeralt is way less thrilled to see him, though.

Jeralt and Byleth are "invited" to return to the Garreg Mach Monastery with Alois and the Three House Leaders. I say "invited" becuse Jeralt clearly does not want to go there but feels he has no choice, and I suspect Byleth would just go wherever their father goes.

Before heading out, Byleth has a chat with Edelgard, Dimitri and Claude, who all seem... oddly interested in them.

Huh. Jeralt would have done wonders in Elyos with a name like that.

Claude makes it clear once again that our presence at the monastery is, in fact, mandatory. So for all of those who hoped there was a secret fifth route where Byleth just retreats to the woods and lives a long, peaceful life, I'm sorry to crush your dreams.

They finally mention they're students at the Officers Academy of the Monastery. And through a quarrel they immediately start with each other, we learn they're the heirs of their respective nations.

Whoah. Shocker, I know.

And already not only they're fighting each other (seriously guys it's only the prologue, fucking chill), they are all strangely in awe of Byleth despite them having just killed a few bandits (with their help no less) and are already fighting each other to have them join their side. Boy, this does not bode well for the future.

WAIT I ALREADY HAVE TO CHOOSE WHAT

I know I'm going to choose Dimitri regardless given this is Azure Moon, but GEEZ this is way too soon to force a choice like this onto the player! You just met these people and already you have to declare your allegiance to one of them!

With that choice way too important for just the prologue of the whole game being done, we finally head back to the monastery.

But not before Byleth ponders a bit about the three of them.

They think Claude has an easy smile that is striking as well as fake, that Edelgard is constantly judging them and that Dimitri seems honest but with a lot of darkness to hide. What that means, we still don't know.

All in all, a decent Prologue. There isn't a lot here to chew on, but it shows the basic mechanics fine enough. The lightning is great and I LOVE Fòdlan Winds as a track.

Fòdlan as a whole has a particularly distinct sound, I think. Though I wouldn't be able to tell you why.

I am still baffled they have you choose a route this soon, though, and while the house leaders bickering with each other already is just worrying in-universe for the storm that will one day come, the fact they already seem to be throwing themselves at Byleth's feet for just killing a few bandits is mainly concerning for the narrative.

While I don't think power fantasies are inherently a bad thing, I fear it wouldn't gel at all with what Fòdlan seems to be going for. But I guess we'll see.

Lastly before closing off, a few notes about the characters we met until now.

Seiros: Local goddess is fucking pissed. I guess we'll see the aftermath of what happened in the intro soon enough. Also I still swear her design is Greek-inspired.

Nemesis: Wonder what caused the war between him and Seiros to begin with?

My guess is likely the creation of the legendary weapons given that, you know, they seem to be made out of Seiros' family and that is enough reason for her to want him dead. But if that's the case, we still don't know why he did that. Is it just for power, or something else?

Byleth: Not gonna lie, getting a few red flags from the way they're handled. No customization options, a mostly silent protagonist, their dialogue choices may very well have barely any effect. Not to mention they already seem to sloowly gravitate the plot around them.

Jeralt:

Jokes aside, he seems fine as a parent. Save for him not doing anything during a bandit attack.

The question is always not if he's gonna kick the bucket, but when. I even somewhat know the how.

Hey, he's a Fire Emblem parent, is that really a spoiler?

By the way, I'm suprised he's a Paladin. Always thought he was, you know, a Mercenary, but maybe that's just because I kept comparing him to Greil given they're both mercenary dads.

Sothis:

BEST GIRL BEST GIRL BEST GI-

*ahem*

I freaking love her.

She's the perfect combination between refined and a sassy chaotic gremlin, and she has one of my favorite tropes which is living inside another character's body. I am SO excited she can talk to Byleth whenever (and apparently read their thoughts?) and can't wait to see what they do with her!

Alois: Very little to say since we barely met him, but he seems a jolly fellow.

Claude: You know, maybe this is a 4D chess move I don't understand, but isn't the whole point of a schemer and deciever to NOT come across as sketchy? I feel constantly talking about how sus you are kinda undermines that but, what do I know.

Edelgard: Ah, the one who just mentioning her name starts a flame war. Not much to say about her yet, although she seems the type to sleep light with a few knives on her person, given how openly mistrusting of others she is.

Also she is a massive kaiju fangirl. I don't care how little sense that makes, you will have to take that headcnon from my dead body.

Dimitri: Honestly right now I'm just waiting to see what that "darkness" is about. I just know it will lead to him becoming VERY murdery in the timeskip so boy, can't wait to see him snap.

Introduction

<-Previous Masterpost Next->

[issi-loves-dannyric]

Here- Embry Call fanfic

I'm trying to figure out where this is going, so this is where I'm at. Please give me some advice

"What's going on with you?" This is the first text I see from embry. When I get into the house, laying on my bed, I shove my face into my pillow, sighing. It was a bad idea to do it, but honestly, it felt good. Rolling over, I grab my phone to respond:

"He brought it, and we thought it would be a good idea to do it at the beach. It felt amazing; it helped get rid of test anxiety." I type out before hitting send. Knowing him, he will at least get upset at the fact "he made me do it." If I didn't want to do it, then I wouldn't think of it, and it's simple. Im probably getting upset mainly because embry doesn't trust me and thinks I'm incapable of taking care of myself. Shoving the thought aside, I take my time getting ready since I no longer have tests. Walking up to my laptop, I look through my emails and look at colleges in Washington. Looking at Seattle University, I scheduled a tour; my grades have been good, so it would be pretty easy for me to get scholarships. As well as the fact I'm living with my single dad. 

picking up my phone from the bed, I open my messages from Christian,

-Morning, my love; going to work today but will text you on my breaks

smiling, I reply, "Morning, baby; when are you off next? I'm planning to visit a college in Seattle and want you to come." Hit send; I look around my room. The clothes I had washed are now sitting in a basket waiting for me to put them away, and the floor is dirt from not being mopped well enough. Tossing my phone back into the bed, I grab my basket folding every piece I pick up until I reach the end, shoving each part into its respective place. Stepping down the stairs, Bella comes in with papers looking up at me, "Looks like we're graduating together in two weeks." She says, making me smile widely, taking the form from her and going upstairs. Putting on my shoes, I make my way back down the stairs, taking the keys from the table to rub them in the pack's faces while some still have to be in school. 

~

Getting to Emily's, I shut the truck door, making my way to the house with the paper still in hand. I did not bother to knock, knowing no one did, when they came in, looking at the table where Jared, Jake, and Seth sat, looking at me crazy. "Fuck you bitches; I'm graduating." I declare while shoving it in Jake's face, who rolls his eyes and takes it from me. 

"What's going on?" I hear Sam ask from behind me. Looking over my shoulder, I see embry following behind him. 

"Im officially graduating early," I reply with a grin before embry latches his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug. 

"So you have an idea what you will do next?" Sam asks when we pull apart

"Kind of," I pause while leaning against Jake now, "I plan to visit a college in Seattle with Christian soon. Hopefully, they will give me scholarships with my grades and having a single parent." I explain, causing everyone to look up, slowly realizing I brought Christian up and leaving Forks. "My fault," I say, wincing when embry trembles slightly. Feeling a vibration in my pocket, I pull out my phone to see a text from Christian, perfect timing. Reading it, he's asking if I will officially graduate with Bella and if he could do it this Saturday. 

'Yeah, I'm officially graduating, so you must wear a suit and have the whole day off.' I quickly reply before looking at the group again, who seems to be back into their conversations except for embry, who I guess left while I was texting. "I got to head out; ill see you guys at my graduation, right?" I question everyone currently in the room, earning nods.

"I'll see you guys later," I state while hugging Seth's head to me since he was the closest, and I know he doesn't have a problem with me hugging him. 

~

The rest of the night, I spent on the phone with Christian, cleaning my room, and spending the next two days with Christian, going to the rez to hang out with the pack while they played soccer, and figuring out what I wanted to do with myself. Thankfully, today's Saturday means I get to go on the college tour with my love. Putting on a hoodie Christian gave me, I grabbed the bag he bought on our first date. Instead of taking the truck, I go in his car since it is more comfortable. 

I'm not writing it because I'm lazy and don't want to. I would if I had energy-

"You thinking about a major?" I hear Christian question, still focusing on the road before us.

"I am thinking astronomy for now," I reply, leaning my head against the side, slightly tired from walking all day. I suddenly felt a warm hand on my thigh, putting mine over his, barely holding it, letting myself drift in and out of sleep. 

Suddenly Christian is forced to make a hard stop, my eyes shooting, seeing us fishtailing into some guy in the middle of the road...fuck, this isn't a human.

A/N, lemme know if you want me to keep Christian or if you like where it's going so far. This is on wattpad

[adelle-ein]

CSP 2.0 features test and rant

I bought my copy of CSP in 2022 due to a variety of Wacom-caused convoluted circumstances, meaning I get the "upgrade" to version 2.0 for free. So, because I enjoy talking about (and shittalking) digital art programs....my thoughts on the "upgrade." To summarize, this update is basically the same as various pre-2022 CSP updates, adding a handful of useful and some godly-sounding features. It doesn't change anything fundamental about the program, really, although allegedly background saves are faster and more reliable now (massive dick move to lock that behind a paywall!) On this PC, I really only get lag on background saves with huge files or if I haven't saved at all for hours, so I haven't really tested that aspect. Other features are: a new brush setting that allows for allegedly more realistic color mixing, a few new 3d model options, an AI auto-shading program, and ~*~align tools ~*~ which really should have been implemented like...five years ago minimum but hey. But, hey, are these features actually as ~life changing~ as Celsys makes them sound? Traditionally no but let's find out

Upon installation I was immediately greeted by said align tools. They were just...there.

Fantastic UI decision I love it. Anyway I couldn't get this stupid window to be part of a sidebar, or treated as a tool, or anything except for a floating window. God knows why it has to be its own "palette" instead of being just a regular tool like liquify etc, but I ended up getting rid of it. figure I'll put it back whenever I need it. It seems to work fine, though in usual CSP fashion it is excessively complicated if reasonably easy to figure out.

And now the new brush color mixing setting (new brushes on the right/bottom). This was the only feature I was personally really excited for. It's something of an improvement and feels a little closer to Krita's infinitely superior painting engines. There are replacements for nearly all of the "thick paint" default brushes, some pastels, and a few assorted others. The "wet wash" brush still lags horrifically at every size even on blank canvases, just fyi.

The updated brushes have the "ver 2.0" tag. And I'm not sure if this was added in a recent update or my own faulty memory, but you can add multiple default brushes from the "add defaults" window now, thank god. I remember having to reopen the damn thing and add them one by one.

I painted this Celica entirely using the new defaults (plus design pencil for the lineart and a custom watercolor for the background, but the painting is all the defaults.) It's definitely a step up, again it feels more like Krita which is my favorite program for painting. Is it worth the upgrade price, though? For me personally, not really.

The head model seems to work well enough, it has settings to let you adjust the features and seems nicer than the various user-made options on the asset store. That being said, using and manipulating the 3d assets is as obtuse and frustrating as ever, and I personally think they make my art look incredibly stiff and robotic, so idk if I'll be using this much.

Just to illustrate how little I use the models, apparently I didn't even have them installed. I had to redownload the entire default asset set to get my hands on them so I could test out the "hand pose" thing. Basically, CSP claims that you can take a picture of your hand and have the model instantly recreate that hand pose. It doesn't look like you can just...use an existing picture. Because that would be too useful. Get posing and upload yourself to the CSP AI instead.

No pictures, because I couldn't get a shot on my shitty webcam without my face in it, but it was unimpressive. The poses were...vaguely similar to the pictures, I guess, but not exactly the pinnacle of accuracy.

This was a straight-fingered peace sign, for example. It's in the general realm of correct, but...not what I was aiming for.

I never use the text tool, for the record - I don't really do comics, and also I hate it. Even with the update, it is still not...good. Better than Krita's, maybe? At least by a bit. But still quite awful. And that's bizarre to me, because this is what was originally *manga studio*, used and promoted primarily by manga and comic artists. But its text tools suck, as well as its general graphic design capabilities.

Trying out the new fog settings...it just looks like a gradient, honestly. I'm not sure why this would ever be helpful. School-live vibes from my little experiment here (i've never watched school-live lol)

Multilayer liquify actually works decently. There's a jolt of lag when you start it and at the end when your changes register, but the actual action of moving your cursor is fairly smooth, unexpectedly. I did it with a huge stack of layers and was pleasantly surprised by the results. That being said, liquify in CSP is really finicky, and even that little bit of lag might prevent it from being a consistently usable tool in my workflow. Not sure yet.

As for the AI shading assist....

I tried a bunch of old .csp drawings and the only one I could even get it to run on was the Eunie above. And it still looked like absolute shit no matter how I messed with the settings. I could have tried to do every layer individually but I just didn't have the patience for a feature I frankly don't want, AND that's not what it was advertised for so I don't see that as a valid test anyway. I just couldn't get this one working, it looks hideous, and I have no desire to have something be shaded for me automatically. Flatting, lineart cleanup, sure! Not the lighting and creativity and stuff that's actually fun! Hard pass.

There's also a fish-eye ruler. I don't see this ever being useful for me because I honestly don't like fish-eye perspective much. Meh.

So...yeah. That's all. That's the upgrade. It's not an impressive upgrade by any means, and clearly just a handful of assorted desirable features Celsys deliberately left out of the last year or so of updates in order to try and bill them as "2.0" now. No significant improvement to the base program, just assorted bells and whistles. And of course, even if you pony up for the flat upgrade fee, you do not get access to any new features going forward. Even if they finally drop a decent selection of filters or make the text tool workable, we plebians will have to pay if we want the goods. And get any features we don't continually pay for revoked.

Wait, how does that work? Yeah, Celsys has been incredibly bad at explaining their bizarre new plans. People have no idea what's going on -- they think CSP is sub-only now, that their copies of 1.0 will be revoked, that everyone's getting 2.0 for free, that they can pay for individual updates they want...nope. TLDR: You can pay a flat price to get version 2.0 now, either as a base program or an upgrade to 1.0. Users who bought 1.0 recently (roughly mid-2022 to 2023, I believe), like me, get that upgrade for free. Alternately, you can pay a yearly or monthly fee to get not only 2.0 but any other continuous upgrades Celsys rolls out between 2.0 and 3.0 (if, say, they add better filtering options or an automatic flatting tool, you must pay for the subscription to get them.) If you at any time end that subscription, ALL updates are revoked and you return to 2.0. 3.0 will be available eventually under the same system. Mmmm microtransaction art program (except worse, you can't even keep your microtransactions and this program ALREADY HAD microtransactions through premium assets to begin with! aaaaaaa why does ibispaint have a bad reputation and not this?)

Also, bear in mind that if you upgrade your 1.0 license to 2.0, you lose your 1.0 license immediately and permanently. 1.0 licenses are for two computers and 2.0 licenses are for one. Reddit confirms that you will be forced to uninstall from one computer if you upgrade the license. So if you have CSP installed on two computers, absolutely do not upgrade, you're essentially throwing away one copy of the program to add a small handful of mediocre features to your other copy. This might be one of the most disgusting parts of the whole deal, actually, because BOY they do not make this clear up front and their little stans are defending it tooth and nail.

So, what's the pricing plan for all this? Um...honestly, I'm not sure. I'm navigating the website right now trying to figure it out and I am totally, utterly lost. The plan is distributed across several pages, and I suspect Celsys is relying heavily on machine translation, so things are...slightly incoherent. I believe it's only $10/year for the PRO (not EX, which is $30) upgrade pass, which isn't unreasonable on the surface, but the "revoke features if you don't keep paying" bit sure is. Not to mention how many user-made assets will be inaccessible to those without the same versions as the creators, or how people's 2.1+ files may break if that person stops paying for their subscription...like, they don't deserve even $1 for pulling this shit and I'm really disappointed by the huge number of users I see not only buying into but defending this awful shit.

Celsys is clearly trying to be the next Adobe, gently easing their users into being forced to go fully subscription-only. We'll see how that works out for them, but I think they are drastically overestimating the loyalty of their userbase, the lack of alternatives, and their rate of use in the professional industry (unlike Adobe, nobody is mandating CSP in graphic design college courses....) They're slowly boiling the frog as we speak -- we'll see how long the userbase can stand it. Personally, I would suggest just waiting for 3.0 - nothing in this upgrade is exceptional, and I wouldn't assume anything else the devs put out for the next couple years is.

TLDR: mediocre update is mediocre, fuck celsys

[aslcved]

Nick's Team

[ don't mind me again as i compiled previous interaction with Nick's teammate, just so i remember ]

The ride passed without any distinguishing event, and less than 45 minutes later Nick stood before the empty house, one of the many in the neighborhood where the occupants were away for the holidays. Went for a cruise to warmer islands across the globe probably. The farther the better, the boy thought. He took out his phone and typed in.

[to: Greenlight] I’m here [to: Greenlight] Entry ready? 

The reply chimed in almost immediately. 

[from: Greenlight] front doors a hecka its bs [from: Greenlight] gimme 3 [from: Greenlight] right side done

[to: Greenlight] Taking right

The boy deleted all conversation and put his phone back in his jeans pocket. He shouldered his backpack then and started toward the house, sticking to the shadows.

--- XXX ---

Nick was on the second floor when he heard noises coming from downstairs. A lock he was working on went a quiet click then he hastily secured the delicate tools back into his backpack, taking out a taser gun–right hand–and slipping on a stun ring–left hand.

The thief crept down the stairs, then flattened himself against the wall as he saw figures approaching from the living room. Nick raised his taser, ready to strike.

“Boo!” Then a light, quiet feminine laughter.

Nick lowered his weapon. “For fuck’s sake,” he grumbled, “you wouldn’t be laughing if I accidentally charged you 50,000 volts.” 

A girl stepped out of the shadows, followed with a serious-looking young man. “Aw nah, we know you’re better than that,” she said with a grin. The guy behind her raised a hand in greeting, “Nick.”

“Hey, man,” Nick returned. “I gotta get back upstairs. You guys got this covered?”

“Aspen got it covered,” the girl chirped, then quickly trailed Nick close. “I need to check specifics on the second floor.”

“Last minutes again?”

“Last seconds, more like,” she corrected him.

“More of those lately,” Aspen said, already with his torchlight on and toolbox out, his voice deep and calm, yet both other thieves had learned to read what was implied in the quiet man’s words. They exchanged glances, but knew this wasn’t the time to dawdle, and without wasting another second went on their way.

Aspen set about the space, checking drawers and cupboards first, lingering on ornaments displayed in the open, weighing the possible money it would get.

A sound of footstep. Close.

He turned around, expecting either of his partners, but found himself face-to-face with an unfamiliar man. Is that a bow? What in hell?

The young man placed his fingers under the tip of his tongue and whistled, high and clear. Then he moved, diving in behind the kitchen island, and grabbing his toolbox.

--- XXX ---

Perhaps if he had not listened to Green, he would’ve finished the job by now. Forty five minutes should have been more than enough time to sneak inside, snatch the prize, and stroll back out again. But as headstrong as he was, Nicholas trusted his friends, and among the few of them, Green was definitely one. So here he was, almost one hour since he had arrived, lying low, quite literally, among the thick laurel shrubs across the mansion. Something crawled on his forearm under the long sleeve, and he smacked at it impatiently. That must be the seventh or eighth ant corpse he was harboring on his clothes. The night air was cool, yet he wiped at his brows, ridding the thin layer of sweat. His phone buzzed finally, and he tapped on the screen to find a new text from Green.

[ from: Greenlight ] u ready?

     Nick was ready to kick Green from his short list of friends, alright. He typed hastily instead.

[ to: Greenlight ] You know I’m right here waiting for your cue [ to: Greenlight ] Are you in?

[ from: Greenlight ] um yea… [ from: Greenlight ] have been for a bit but

[ to: Greenlight ] DUDE WTF

[ from: Greenlight ] no listen [ from: Greenlight ] something’s not right [ from: Greenlight ] it’s too easy, man [ from: Greenlight ] totally below expectation [ from: Greenlight ] they should’ve stellar security [ from: Greenlight ] but it doesn’t look like it

     He frowned reading the texts, knowing it couldn’t be good.

[ to: Greenlight ] Can you figure out what’s wrong?

[ from: Greenlight ] yea maybe but I’m gonna need some time

[ to: Greenlight ] Don’t worry I’m having fun being a mosquito feeder here [ to: Greenlight ] How long?

[ from: Greenlight ] some time like some hours [ from: Greenlight ] like u really should go home now [ from: Greenlight ] n come back tomorrow [ from: Greenlight ] or the day after

     Even when he knew nobody could hear him–or because of that–Nick cursed out loud. There was a deadline for the job, and he wouldn’t risk failing to finish it. Part of it was not willing to trifle with the Guild, and the other part was the status he had earned and meant to keep.

[ to: Greenlight ] Yeah not happening [ to: Greenlight ] I’m going in [ to: Greenlight ] Eye in the sky?

     There was an uncharacteristically pending answer from Green, and Nick could imagine the boy trying to piece his words together, stringing them to dissuade him from the idea. But it seemed like he knew Nick better than expected, as the texts finally arrived, relented.

[ from: Greenlight ] sure man [ from: Greenlight ] just [ from: Greenlight ] be very very careful [ from: Greenlight ] bad vibes tbh

     Nick didn’t bother with a reply. He had to get going before his confidence deserted him, after all.

--- XXX ---

[brehaaorgana]

Honestly I think you leapt to a lot of conclusions that made things more daunting and frustrating for you. Or you...didn't understand or fully read what was even said at some points?

What's the rationale for putting your daily toiletries in a bin?

Well the text clearly says "a bin on the counter" and explains the bin is easily moveable so you can quickly wipe down the counter when cleaning and then put everything back. It's not put out of sight where you would forget, it's contained in a bin so it's all in one spot. The bin is so you can clean the counter by only moving one thing instead of everything individually.

You say you can barely fit in your bathroom so adding a hamper inside of it wouldn't work, but then don't seem to understand why many many people don't have the room for a second, separate work/project table in their home that isn't also the dining room table?? Like. That's why people use the dining room table. Because they don't have enough space for a second large flat surface in their home. Just like you feel you don't have space for a hamper in your bathroom?? (They do make smaller over the door cloth hampers, but also you can just put a hamper wherever it is going to work for you. Until my new roommate moved mine without asking, I kept one outside the bathroom which was also next to the washing machine.)

The bookshelf acting as an end table won't fill up with junk if you use small open sorting baskets on the shelves to catch stuff, and keep the trash can there, like suggested. If finding the remote and tissue box is most important then you should put it on the top, because that presumably isn't where you're putting your keys. The solution to an ADHD teenager putting her coat over the back of a chair was a suggested coat rack or wall hook for her coat, and if that doesn't work for you, that's fine.

I really only took some pictures of my book so this isn't everything.

For example, the book also illustrates easy access containers for organizing "stuff" on shelving. This is the "away." It doesn't make dozens of tasks, it's "put in bin. Label later, if that helps."

Or like:

First rule of organizing "inventory must conform to storage." If you constantly have piles of stuff with no away, it might be that you need to purge some items in addition to containerizing them. Hell, I *know* I have too much stuff. Sometimes the problem is I have too many things and the real solution is "get rid of some of my stuff."

"how do I figure out where something ought to be stored/where its home is?"

And so on.

Ultimately every piece of advice I've shared from this book is a) a fraction of the overall book's advice taken from larger context b) explicitly not meant to apply to everyone with ADHD in exactly the same ways in every home and c) adaptable to your differing needs.

The mindset of assuming everything that isn't exactly written to help you specifically seems to have really hindered you though, which probably makes everything feel even more overwhelming. Tbh it may be *more* useful for you to find a professional organizer who works with folks with ADHD and hire them for a session or two so that you can have a precisely tailored experience that can help break through the initial assumed alienation and defeatism. They'll probably also be able to help you more easily translate advice you didn't think could or would apply because it didn't describe the exact thing you experience or concern you have. An outsiders perspective will apply a great deal of flexibility to proposed solutions that would tailor things to your needs & space for you.

From the book Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD:

Putting a coat on the back of a chair by the door is fine, but if you prefer, use coat hooks and a large catch-all basket for dropping keys, hats, gloves.

Small bookcase end-table next to the couch to store craft projects, books, and other things being worked on for easy access.

Add a storage unit near the dining room table to transition between eating and working there.

Daily toiletry items should be stored in a basket that you can move easily

Extra toiletries and medicine cabinet items go in open shelf/basket storage so they can be seen and used easily. If items no longer fit, purge the excess. Don't obscure the view!

If you disrobe in the bathroom, place a tall hamper in there.

Keep a set of cleaning supplies in each bathroom

[ambivalence-and-torpor]

[More messages to Aitreo]

GG: Yaawwn~

GG: I -s>aid what I-s>aid.

GG: If you can't put piece-s> together without me having to -s>toop down to your level and -s>ound it out. then let-s> have the game-s> begin!

GG: You're not a-s> fun a-s> Ketana'-s> text-s> made you out to be!

GG: Then again. You hang around him and the heir. -S>o it -s>ay-s> everything needed.

GG: I'll leave you dead in a ditch if you keep di-s>tracting vital people from their work. Don't play -s>tupid. I don't enjoy having to.. get rid of people who are all so buddy buddy cwozy with the heir-s>.

GG: But exception-s> have to be made for repeat offender-s>.

GG: -S>hame! That'll be more than once! T-s>k T-s>k you people are like roache-s>

Oh this troll is going to be a problem. And Aitreo's already making plans to dispose of that exact problem...

That and of course, figuring out what exactly this shit is about. So far he knew this was about Lammek and Ketana... but who was the third person? Nakaou? Literally all of his quads? Was that it?

He doubted it was that easy. Plus, that would be one heck of a coincidence... chances are this was connected to Oyabun somehow... the connection to Lammek would make sense. Wasn't quite sure how Ketana fit into that just yet, but hey, he'd know soon enough.

TA: Sx ya want me tx nxt die? TA: Well isn't that just sx fucking generxus xf yxu?

TA: What made ya decide tx try and help me? TA: I mean, ya cxuld have just wanted me end up dead in a ditch anyway, nx?

TA: What are yxu getting xut xf this?

[alexandraswords]

Sponsor Suggestion

I've been to therapists, treatment centers, detox centers, rehab, myofascial release therapists, readers, doctors, psychiatrists, psychics and hypnosis specialists. Not only am I an alcoholic, but for the past 17 years have also been lucky enough to have been battling a losing war with a massive Eating Disorder. I started out starving and was anorexic for the first two years of the ED career, then it transitioned into bulimia. Similar to AA when they say "One drink is too many and 1,000 is never enough.", well, with bulimia "One bite is too many and all the food in the world is never enough.

Anyway, I started going to AA reluctantly, but pleasantly surprised. Eventually I got a Sponsor. I knew I wanted her as my sponsor as soon as I met her. When I first asked her she said I needed a few more meetings, we exchanged numbers and I would get a daily text from her and reply immediately. She reminds me of a female version of Sam Elliot, a total independent bad-ass who happens to be a recovered addict/alcoholic of 33 years. I wanted whatever she had. About a week after texting and going to her Thursday women's group after our A Club 5:30 meeting, One morning I got a call from her asking if I was going to the noon meeting that day and if I drove. I said I sure am, but nope... no driving for me. She informed me she was gonna pick me up and we were gonna have a chat... Fuck. What did I do?

She picked me up after the meeting and we talked. And talked, and talked. She wanted to get to know me. Know my story. "What I used to be like, what happened, and what I'm like now." I got to know a bit about her and felt so much relief. She was a bible thumping, jesus juice toting praise god Recovered Alcoholic. She was exactly what I needed.

That day she gave me my first suggestion, one that her sponsor gave to her. Every day write "Drinking Dumb Idea." 25 times, along with "Binging Dumb Idea." and "Purging Dumb Idea" 25 times each as well.

It sounded monotonous and time consuming (a whole 12 minutes -_-) but I figured why not, I've tried everything else.

Prior to this suggestion I can't even remember the last time I went a day without binging and purging. Quitting alcohol was easy in comparison to letting go of my initial and longest lasting and strongest vice. I felt like a liar in the meetings claiming I went another day without drinking but knowing I could go home and binge and purge, use another substance in a way. I felt like I was cheating. I was still using something to ignore what actually was going on, to avoid the discomfort. I was exhausted. My face was so swollen all the time, my throat was raw and blistered, and even with a broken back, that didnt keep me from being hunched over in discomfort in the bathroom to rid myself of "my badness". So, I tried her suggestion.

That was 25 days ago. I haven't binged or purged in 25 fucking days. My mind was blown, the first two days I was terrified beyond belief. But for some reason reminding myself of how fucking stupid I was being, how miserable I had been trying to fight this thing off by myself and not trying anything new, admitting this worked was self defeating, but also extremely relieving. I felt hope, pride, and joy for the first time in a long time.

I finally realized, along with trying something new to change my drinking, I had to do the same with my eating disorder even though it was absolutely terrifying. What could it hurt? A few days of discomfort? Like, come on. More than half of my life has been daily fucking discomfort, misery and apathetic.

I'm grateful for being open to taking suggestions now, even though initially apprehensively and inevitably me finally caving into the suggestion because in the back of my mind I know how desperate I am to try anything to be better.

So if you're trying to tackle any of your super fun or super fucked up character defects. Maybe try the 25x list. I think My next one to start might be "smoking dumb idea" or "Fear Dumb Idea", or maybe "Resentment Dumb idea" or "Plotting my exes and enemis demise, dumb idea"... kidding, sort of. But anything your trying to let the fuck go of, beat the shit out of a notebook with these nasty little gremlins driving you to fucking insanity by telling yourself and them that they're dumb fucking ideas, 25 time a day, at a time... and hell sometimes I even need to remind myself morning, noon, and night. Lets just say my hand is getting some serious PT and a boot-camp course in penmanship.