#(but I guess she wasn't really in a position to notice much the last time I was)

[goodnightmoonvale]

Also. I know this is the "I'm never having kids" website. But if you DO get pregnant and go through pregnancy, PMDD puts you at a higher risk for post partum depression and anxiety.

Pre-menstrual depression is always depicted as like "He He! I had a box of icecream bars and cried while watching the Titanic!" But in reality, it's more like, "I'm standing the edge of an abyss. There is nothing good inside of me, I'm filled with rage and desperation."

It's crazy that being told how to deal with that is never a part of anyone's menstrual sex education.

[bunnys-kisses]

aperol spritz

captain john price

cw: summer fic, rich!price, pwp/smut, bulky!price, cowgirl position, seduction tactics, retired!price, age gap (reader is in her 20s), afab!reader, nipple/breast play, in birth control we trust, mid/plus sized!reader, italian summers here we come,

bunny says: here comes the sunshine! happy summer everyone <3 written while listening to "italian vintage summer"

you met him at last call in a party that you and your friend snuck into. it was in a terrace in a decently sized town in southern italy. you weren't looking to meet anyone that night, let alone anyone during your entire trip. it was your last vacation before you finished your university diploma. you were more interested in sight seeing than wealthy british men who offered to buy you a drink.

"you look a little lonely." he remarked.

you chuckled, "my friend is chatting up a local." the drink was placed in front of you. you took a sip of it, the coolness of it compared to the heat of summer felt good.

you looked over at the man who was trying to chat you up. he was taller than you, short brown hair, blue eyes, interesting facial hair choices. his skin looked tanned from too much time in the sun, the sight of his larger arms was enticing. he noticed you staring.

"the name is john, john price."

you reached over to shake his hand, "you sound like a bond character with that name."

he shook it gently, calloused hands touched your own, "maybe i am. maybe i'm on a secret mission to find the most beautiful woman in all of italy... to of course save the world."

you gave him a look and playfully nudged his shoulder, "alright sweet talker. i guess you haven't found her yet?"

he shook his head, "actually ma'am. i have." he placed his hand over yours, a bold move. he leaned in a little closer, "she's standin' right in front of me."

-

in hindsight, maybe ending up in bed with a british man on a breezy italian night wasn't the brightest idea. but the way he looked at you, the draw of his voice.

"well, don't ya look lovely." he said as he sat on the edge of the bed and started to untuck his white button up out of the waistband on his slacks.

you stood there, close to the doorway to the bedroom. you were in nothing but a matching pair of white bra and panties. it wasn't the most existing garments ever, but the way that price's eyes raked across your semi-naked body made your pulse jump.

he unbutton his shirt and kept his eyes on you. the faint breeze off the water came through the window. you leaned a little further against the door way, your thighs pressed together and your arms crossed.

"c'mere." he said in that thick accent of his, "i want to see if this is real or my imagination after too many rum and cokes." he laughed as he took the shirt off his body, leaving him in a white undershirt.

you swallowed at the sight of him with less clothing on, you got a good look at the strength in his arms and chest. you licked your lips to compose yourself before you got closer to him, "so." you stood in front of him, staring down at him, "why are you in italy?"

"didn't you already guess? i'm a secret agent."

you chuckled, "right, right." your eyes scanned across his body, "i guess it's all top secret."

he stood up and suddenly loomed over you. he undid his belt and dropped it to the floor, followed by his pants coming off. he then placed both his hands on your shoulders and said, "well, i guess i can let you in on a little secret."

you placed your hand on the front of his undershirt, "i love a good secret."

"former british army, captain and all." he chuckled. he leaned in and kissed you on the lips gently, "now that i've told ya." he picked you up by the middle and lifted you off your feet. he beamed at you, "i have to kill ya." then placed you on the bed.

you burst into laughter, "no one has ever really picked me up that easily." you covered your face to hide your embarrassment as your laughed.

he took off the undershirt and said, "well, you haven't meet people like me." which was followed by his underwear, "picking you up was like holding an expensive bottle of wine." he caught you in his arms as the two of you softly kissed.

"a big, strong, handsome britishman? i think i've seen a few of those." you joked and were met by another round of kisses that made you melt.

you two kissed on top of the white sheets, that felt nice against your heated skin. he held you by the back of the head as he deepened the kiss. he was a lover in a lot of ways. to be flirted with by someone so handsome was something that made you warm all over.

he took his time getting your undergarments off, he peeled your bra off of you like you were a fine treat that he needed to unwrap. once your chest was bared to him, he kissed at your breasts. his large hands fondled them as he licked across your left nipple.

"beautiful." he said softly, his blue eyes gazed up at you, "so perfect." his smile grew, as did yours. you combed your fingers through his hair as he worshiped and played with your breasts.

your legs mingled with his as he kissed and sucked at your breasts. your felt jitters pool in your gut from the feeling that raced in your body. he felt like a dream, your mouth went dry when he dragged his tongue lazily from the top of your breast all the way to your nipple.

"ah, john."

"you sounds perfect saying my name." he purred in response. his motions continued until you were soaked, he brushed his knee against your slick folds and made a soft sound against your breasts. he then looked up at you with those daring blue eyes, "are ya ready, love?"

you cupped his face and looked at him. you noticed the lines in his face and the grey in his hair. your heart leapt, despite the probably drastic age difference. he was undeniably handsome. you craned your neck to kiss him before you said, "c'mon captain price, show me what all that service can do."

he chuckled and rose up against you. his strong arms wrapped around you once more, you felt the muscles move against your torso, "call me captain again, love. and you'll be in a world of trouble."

you fought the urge to call him that again. instead you rolled yourself on top of him and prayed to the birth control gods that your daily pill worked like it should.

he gazed at you like you were a marble statue there for his worship. his strong, rough hands grasped onto your hips. feeling the fat on them. he said softly, "i understand why they craved statues of women with curves." he chuckled at his comment before he met your gaze, "because they are more beautiful than any other art created."

you covered your face once more, "oh my god."

he laughed, "see, i like that. i know you're hot all over. i can feel it." his cock was so close to slipping inside of you, "i want to know if that cunt is as warm as the rest of you."

you pulled your hands away from your face and positioned yourself on top of him. he held onto you and you held onto him as you sank down on his impressive size. you almost felt your stomach in your throat as you fully seated yourself onto him.

"that's it, love. just like that." his words were encouraging as the two of you moved to establish a pace. it was like your bodies knew exactly what you both wanted, if not needed. the connection was strong and the hum of pleasure in the back of your mind kept you going as you thrusted.

"ah. john." you whimpered as you rolled your hips. you held onto his chest, the hair between your fingers as you moved up and down on his cock.

the breeze cooled your heated back and your nipples remained hard. his chest hair and over all strength felt good against your body. it was a feeling of being fully protected. he engulfed your like a comforting flame as you re-positioned yourself to get the best angle with your movements.

"that's my girl." he purred, "my darlin' girl. you look so good. i wish i found ya earlier in my trip. we could've had a lotta fun on the coast." he beamed at you.

his hands dug further into the meat of your hips as he met your thrust with the same lust hat you carried. the metal frame of the bed squeaked under your movements and the headboard rocked against the pink painted wall.

you fucked with all the windows to the hotel room were open. you moaned like the sounds didn't make it street level. but you didn't care. the rush that went through you as you moved up and down onto his cock.

your cheeks felt swarmed with warmth as you felt his hands move up and down you sides, getting a feel for the angel on top of him. you traced your nails down his chest, feeling the muscle.

"yeah, that's it." he said softly, the heat in his face went all the way down his neck, "you feel so good, love." he chuckled then his jaw tensed as pleasure rolled through him.

you reached for his face and held it to face you, your eyes met and you pulled him in for another searing kiss. your heart thumped in your chest as the kisses became sloppy and the two of you edged closer to your orgasms.

his facial hair brushed against your cheeks, you felt so warm on the inside. it was like gooey caramel had melted in the pit of your stomach. you pulled away to catch your breath and placed both hands on his chest once more.

the pleasure filled the room, the heat that clung to your skin and the sweat at your temples. price's words were filthy with how much he thought you were so beautiful. you had never been buttered up like this before.

his grip grew harder and he took a bit more control of the pace. his cock hit against your most sensitive parts as the bed continued to creak. it wasn't long before you were panting.

your toes curled and light bulbs flashed behind your eyes. pleasure washed down like heavy rainfall and the air left your lungs. you managed to squeak out, "holy shit." before you relaxed and found comfort on your lover's chest.

price continued to hit your sweet spots with his cock. but the weight of you on top of him only made pleasure seep through his bloodstream. his head felt heavy with lust as he gave it a felt more strokes before he finished inside of you. for a moment, he realized that he never asked about protection. but he was in too much of a state of bliss to let his mouth ask the questions.

you both laid there, enjoying each other's company. he moved your head and kissed you once more on the lips. the kiss was sloppy and eventually led to a second round in bed.

the a third, followed by a speedy fourth. by the end of it you were both bone tired and you knew you wouldn't be walking right once you got up.

"that's my girl." he drew before he fell asleep on his back and his hand across his bulky abdomen.

when price was well and asleep, you slipped out of bed. you collected your clothing without making too much noise. you redressed in the hallway of the room before you walked out with your heels in hand.

that was quite the story to tell your friends back home. your face stung with a blush by the thought of it as you walked down empty streets before sunrise.

-

a month later you got a text message while you were back at home enjoying your new semester in school. you almost choked on your drink when you saw who it was from.

'hi, love. it's john price. we met in italy a while back. i was wondering if you wanted to go back, expect you don't leave in the middle of the night.'

it didn't take long before there was money being deposited into your paypal with the note 'for our little vacation'. maybe it wasn't the brightest idea to end up back in bed with a man like price. after all, you never gave him your phone number or paypal information.

but you thought about those arms, his kisses and the strength of his fucking. so it didn't take long before john price nabbed himself a pretty young thing.

xoxo, bunny

[monimccoythings]

How the other X-Men (97') would react to Logan's crush

I need more X-Men 97's Logan. Mostly Pre-established relationship. Just some rambles about some of the other X-men reacting to your mutual crushes because they are all a big family of busybodies lol.

tag: gender neutral reader (mostly)

You didn't have the best first meeting. You had accidentally drank the last of Logan's beers, and the burning anger in his eyes would take time to forget. You had felt so guilty afterwards that the next day he found a crate of imported beer in his bedroom.

When he first started developing a crush on you, Morph liked to tease him changing into you in different forms of suggestive positions wearing all kind of revealing lingerie, which made him blush. Hard. He tried to act all though pulling his claws out threateningly, but it was difficult to take him seriously when he was as red as a tomato.

He wasn't sure what started that crush, he guessed he started developing it without noticing. Maybe it was your good looks, your kind nature, your bright smile; who knew, but something about you drove him to you like a moth to a flame.

Ar first, Logan would be a bit conflicted due to his deeply rooted feelings for Jean. He felt like he was betraying her in some way, despite Jean being married to Scott. Unbeknowst to him, Jean, is one of the main supporters of his relationship with you and is always hijacking with Storm some way for you two to be together. Once, she got tired of your antics and practically psychically shoved you against him.

Storm is the chillest about it, unlike the overly enthusiastic Jean. She is very patient, she knows you'll end up together one way or another. She just has to wait. She still joins Jeans shenanigans because it's really fun.

Scott is more protective of you in a big brother way. He initially doesn't like that Logan has taken an interest in someone he had always seen as a little sibling. He knows how Logan can get, and how much he had pinned after Jean. He doesn't want him to hurt you, it would take a real genuine proof of his love for you to convince him. And something small wouldn't do, it has to be this big grand selfless gesture for him to actually believe it.

Charles, unlike Scott, thinks that you and Logan are a great match. You seem to bring the best out of each other. You calm Logan's never ending rage and Logan encourages you to be more bold and come out of your shell. You are like two puzzle pieces, you fit perfectly together.

Rogue is constantly teasing you about Logan. She has noticed how he gets more awkward when you're around, how he doesn't snark at you as much as he usually does to the others. If she didn't know better, she'd say he was being shy.

Remy is the one usually trying to give Logan advice on how to properly woo you, which usually goes ignored because of Logan's own pride and refusal to admit he has it deep for you.

Jubilee is a die-hard shipper. She gave you the most ridiculous ship name. Logan hates it. She, Storm, Remy, Rogue and Jean, usually meet up to discuss about you two like a bunch of teens. This is literally them on each meeting:

When you finally stop dancing around each other and start dating, he finds he's unable to keep his hands to himself. Watching you make breakfast, humming to yourself in an oversized T-Shirt and booty shorts that perfectly clinged to every delicious curve of your juicy ass like a second skin, put all of Logan's already thin self-control to test. Missions surveys get really awkward if he's seated next to you, his hand always finds its way to your thigh. Hank joked that he should give him 'the talk', which he took it as well as expected.

Roberto is the one who thinks 'what the hell do they see in him??'. He doesn't get how someone as cultured and kind as yourself would ever get interested in a caveman like Logan. But he keeps his thoughts to himself because he'd rather keep his head on his shoulders.

Logan may not know what started his crush, but he sure as hell knows when he realised he loved you. It wasn't a great sacrifice or something epic as anybody would expect. He just saw you doing the most mundane thing in the world, be it painting your nails, taking care of the garden, or getting to the best part of a book you've been reading. The second he saw that glint in your eyes and that joyful expression, he just knew.

[whispereons]

Oracle!Reader Part 5

Masterlist - Part 1, Part 4, Part 6

Warning, I guess? Like I said last part, my AU has death and voilence. This one also has frisky(?) moment, no full NSFW

You aren't quite sure how long you have been sitting on this bench. The cats you were watching have already grown tired and were lazing around. The smoke smell was still faintly in the air and the sky was the same blue as before.

Couldn't have been more than 10 minutes then.

You should get up and leave. But to go back to the main area is to back into the fray. And you really didn't want to do that. With a heavy heart, you got up and stretched.

A loud crash and bang from around the corner startled you. You peer curiously in the direction and a pained groan is all you can hear. You walk over and see opened crates on the floor with fireworks rolling out of them.

Carefully you step around the fireworks to get to the heart of the problem. Yoimiya was on the floor with crates scattered around and a bell near her. The usually peppy blonde was clutching her head with a pained expression.

"Did you just get hit by that bell?" You say with a smile. You struggle not to laugh as you hold your hand out to her.

"Unfortunately, I did. Ugh, that really hurts." She takes your hand and slightly jolts from the electricity that your skin brings. You notice her action but don't put much thought into it, you pull her up.

"If we don't pick up all your fireworks fast, we'll probably lose some." Yoimiya smiles brightly completely forgetting her lost battle with the bell.

"You would help me? That's great to hear, I'd be looking all over Inazuma City for them without you!"

You start picking them up with her as you leisurely talked with her. Truthfully you offered more for yourself, as selfish as it sounds you just wanted a distraction.

The nearly mind-numbing or annoying task, depending on how far they rolled was easier with the chatty woman. Yoimiya knew how to talk to people, truly an extrovert with great social skills.

"That should be all of the fireworks. At least none of the boxes broke." You close the last crate and wipe the sweat from your brow.

"All thanks to you. I wasn't expecting anyone to be around since the ritual was in session. It should be finishing up though." She has an excited smile as she speaks and picks on two crates at a time.

Eager to change the subject you grab the last box and are about to pick it up. "No wonder you dropped it, carrying three crates would be too much-ugh. Damn, how much do these things weigh?"

You hurriedly position the crate in your arms to a more comfortable position as your grip tightens. You weren't weak but these things were absurdly heavy. You glance at her holding two of these monsters. She's not fazed in the slightest by the weight.

"The weight isn't too much of a problem, but the size was my oversight. I couldn't see while holding all 3 boxes and hit that bell. Thank you for carrying that one. Just follow me, we aren't too far from the drop-off location."

You inwardly sigh at now being stuck with the weight. But... You glance at the Yae Publishing House. Better than being stuck with Yae. You follow Yoimiya as you get closer and closer to the main area.

"Have you heard the rumors?"

"What rumors?"

"About there being an oracle! Really, it's only spread among the kids. They keep telling me that an oni, his name is Itto, keeps telling them about how he met the creator's oracle."

So, it's already starting. At least it's staying between the children right now, by the time Yae hears about it and connects the dots you'll be gone.

"Maybe it's true. You'll need to meet that oracle for yourself to be sure." You shrug and bump her shoulder. Playfully she bumps you back.

"I would love to meet them! Believing in fantastical things is a lot of fun. And if it turns out that they're a fake then I'll light them ablaze." You were suddenly reminded of Itto by how she spoke such vicious words with a bright smile.

"What if they prove that they are an oracle? What would you do then?"

"Ask if there is anything I can do to be awakened! I traveled to Sumeru with the traveler, and it was the closest thing to being awakened. Awakened acolytes can see all sorts of sights and stories."

The sparkle in her eyes was full of joy, no doubt imagining what it would be like for her wish to come true. The thought of your very low primogem count made you want to cry. 'Sorry Yoimiya, I don't think anyone is getting pulled at this time.'

Arriving back at the ritual area you can see the dead bodies being moved away and the blood being cleaned. You doubt they'd be able to clean up all the ashes today.

"Such a shame I missed out on it. But I would rather supply my fireworks for the finale festival than watch in a sweaty crowd."

To think that everyone here has grown numb to sight... Do people become less than cattle once they are dubbed a sacrifice? You follow Yoimiya around the slowly dispersing crowd to the back.

Ayaka is giving orders until she spots you both. Quickly she comes over with a smile.

"I'm relieved to see that you were with Yoimiya. Thank you for watching over the oracle in our absence."

"Wait-What?! They're the oracle?" Yoimiya comically looks between you and Ayaka's smiling faces.

"You just let me talk about the oracle while not telling me you're the oracle?" You finally laugh at that. Setting the crate down, you sigh in relief and speak.

"It was entertaining, I promise I was planning to tell you before we split paths."

"I'm torn between being embarrassed and happy. At least you know my wish now." She deflates as she holds the crates with a pout. It's gone as quick as it came and she's back with a sunny smile.

"Well, then Ayaka please lead the way for me to put these fireworks away. I can't wait for the final ritual to see them light up the sky."

"You just saw them last week, you're insatiable for fireworks. Y/N, I'll meet up with Ayato, Thoma, and you in a little bit."

Ayaka smiles softly and beckons Yoimiya to follow her. Yoimiya smiles cheerfully and waves enthusicastically before hauling all 3 boxes. Does archery really make your arms that strong?

"Y/N!" A shout of your name and hard armor meets your back as you're hugged from behind. It was just a quick hug before you spin around.

"Gorou, all done with that soldier?" He smiles widely showing off his fangs. He's holding your arms with his gloved hands as his tail wags.

"Yeah, sorry about having to leave so suddenly. Are you feeling better now? You don't look as bad as before."

"I'm feeling a lot better now. I didn't worry you too much right?"

"I mean, I can't deny that I was worried but you're all better now so that's all that matters. Remember if you need to talk about it, you can always come to me. I'd prefer it that way."

His whisper is low, and you strain to catch it. But he smiles with a blush and it's enough to dissuade you. He's helped you a lot, you didn't want to be too nosy. He's also one of the few that hasn't used you for information about the creator too. It doesn't bother you but it's nice feeling like he hangs out with you because he finds your company nice.

"It's been some time since I've seen General Gorou this happy. Are you a friend of his?"

Motherfucker- How in the world did you manage to run into Kokomi fucking Sangonomiya!?

You hadn't accounted for her appearance since she's usually on Watatsumi Island. She's way too good, like facing a kinder, fishier Yae. Hell, she managed to beat Yae in TCG and find the card snatcher in that event. This wasn't Ei but meeting Yae and Kokomi on the same day has got to be bullshit.

While you were internally dying Gorou took the initiative to introduce you to Kokomi with a happy grin.

"This is Y/N, they're an oracle for the creator. They even have the Kamisato Clan's approval."

"That is quite impressive, allow me to introduce myself first. My name is Sangonomiya Kokomi, I'm the divine priestess of Watatsumi Island."

"It's an honor to meet you Sangononomiya? Sanganonomiya? Sanganomiya?" Your voice gradually lowers as you butcher her name. Honestly, you were just hoping she would dislike you and leave. You did not want to have another Yae-level battle.

Purple glossy eyes watch you struggle with her name in amusement. You even managed to confuse yourself on how to pronounce her name. She can't help but laugh bringing a gloved hand to her mouth.

"You must not be a native Inazuman. You can just call me Kokomi, as an oracle and Gorou's friend I can trust that you're a good person."

Gorou beams at his superior's approval and his expectant stare on you makes you feel even more trapped. So much for getting her to dislike you.

"Thank you for your generosity, Kokomi. I've heard here and there how good of a leader you are. Both in and outside of combat. Your citizens seem to adore you a lot."

At least you don't have to pronounce Sangonomiya anymore. She takes a step closer and peers at you. She's good but not impossible.

"Thank you but I believe you aren't that different from me."

What the fuck is that supposed to mean. Gorou holds your hand with a confused face. Was he always this touchy-feely in the game? You can't remember well with Kokomi staring dead into your eyes.

"I'm the divine priestess for Orobaxi, a god that Watatsumi Island worships despite being deceased. And you are an oracle for the creator. All living beings in Teyvat worship the creator, our jobs may have more similarities than you think."

"Are you saying this because as an oracle I am a communicator between the creator and the people? While as divine priestess you carry out the will of Orobaxi to protect your people?"

She smiles knowingly making her eyes squint a bit. "Precisely. Wouldn't you benefit more from staying on Watatsumi Island? Maybe not permanently but you could learn a lot from staying with us."

Wait what? Does she think that you came here to help Narukami Island? Not a bad guess since you do have the Kamisato's approval. Is she trying to poach you?

"This isn't well known but I'm on a mission for the creator. I can't share all the details, but it involves me moving around Teyvat a lot. I already have transportation to Liyue all prepared. Thank you for the offer but I'll have to decline."

Gorou and Kokomi both have disappointed expressions with Gorou's being far more dramatic. Or maybe that was his dropping ears and tail exaggerating his look.

"I understand, the creator must come first. If the tides ever lead you back to Inazuma, please come and visit Watatsumi Island."

As adapting as water, she moves past her rejection and smiles softly holding out her hand. You grab it and shake her hand until you feel a familiar feeling. The feeling of eyes watching you and ears listening to you strikes you.

You release her hand and Gorou speaks to her about something. You can't focus on what they are saying as the feeling leaves you chills.

It must be Yae.

Now that you think about it, isn't it weird how Gorou and Kokomi are in plain sight with no Yae? Her rival, punching bag, and an easy victim are all in one group, surely, she would not hesitate to come over. Unless she's with Ei.

Jumping to conclusions, you are definitely jumping to conclusions. Forcing yourself to breathe easily, you smile casually as you can finally hear what Kokomi and Gorou are saying.

"Your Excellency, I've already moved that emergency shipment to the boat. We can wait for you to finish meeting with the Electro Archon."

"You should go on ahead without me. Whatever she has called me for doesn't sound like a minor problem."

"Even so, leaving you in enem-" Kokomi's look makes Gorou shut his mouth and backtrack.

"Right, right. Sorry, force of habit. But I would still feel more comfortable waiting till you are done, your Excellency."

"Okay, I understand your concern. Please wait in Inazuma City until I'm done." Gorou smiles at Kokomi's acceptance.

"So, you'll be staying a while longer? It's a shame you didn't come a day earlier. I'm leaving for Liyue today after all." You join in when you get a chance. The last thing you want is for Yae to notice how aware you are of her presence.

Kokomo opens her mouth to speak when yells of your name can be heard across the plaza. You all turn to see Thoma waving to grab your attention while Ayaka and Ayato calmly stand and stare at you. Or are they staring at Gorou and Kokomi?

You give a wave back to let them know you saw them. Turning back with a small and slightly sad smile you hide your joy at a perfect escape option.

"And that is my transportation calling me. It's been lovely meeting you Kokomi despite the short amount of time we spent together. And Gorou, you were the highlight of this festival, I'll be sure to seek you out next time I come."

Gorou seems to swoon at your words while Kokomi smiles at your words and holds both your hands. Her stare is unnervingly deep into your eyes. Fisheyes in the game and in real life are much different up close.

"You are quite the fascinating person. Whenever you do come back, Watatsumi Island is more than happy to greet you with open arms."

Your smile is gentle matching hers despite how you're secretly sweating bullets. She releases your hands, and you see Gorou smiling at Thoma who is clearly glaring at him.

Unlike humans, animals bare their teeth to threaten. That little tidbit of information comes to mind when you see that Gorou's grin is a little ferocious. It all goes away once he sees you looking at him.

"Y/N, whenever you come back, make sure to visit Watatsumi Island twice as much time as you spent here. I can show you even more stuff than what I showed you here."

"I will Gorou." You promise before petting his head. You weren't sure when you would get to pet someone like this again so you wanted to take advantage of it while you still can. Gorou seems to like it as much as you do. His eyes close and his tail wags a little as he angles himself deeper into your touch.

When you pull your hand off, he pouts a bit but waves to you as you walk to the Kamisato's. You carefully peek back to see Kokomi say something teasing to Gorou that makes him embarrassed.

Yae conveniently turns the corner at that exact moment and scares Gorou. Seems like you dodged a bullet at poor Gorou's expense. But it also raises a question. Did Yae intentionally wait for you to leave to join the group? If so, is it because she feels bad or because she doesn't want you hearing what she has to say?

Deciding to leave it be you turn back to the Kamisato's as you approach them. Once you're in reach Thoma sweeps you into his arms and hugs you.

"What a warm welcome. Missed me that much Thoma?" You say with a smile as Thoma sets you down.

"Well, I have to! You're leaving today, I have to make the most of it." He smiles a little embarrassed as he avoids your eyes.

"Totally not because I pet Gorou?"

"Totally."

Ayato covers his mouth with his sleeve and coughs with a not very subtle "Liar" in between. Ayaka swats his arm with her fan and Thoma playfully glares at Ayato.

You snicker at the familiar sight of them fighting and almost trip over a firework stick. Your near tumble makes them all pay instant attention to you. Ayato and Thoma are quick to put a hand on your shoulders to steady you as Ayaka picks it up.

"It's a few are still missing. I'll have to send a servant to put it with the others later."

"Damn, sorry Ayaka I thought Yoimiya and I got them all. Will you have enough for the final ritual this month?"

"Oh yes more than enough. We always order extra just in case something like this happens. It's a shame you won't be here to see the final ritual." She looks to the ground sadly as she finishes.

"Ayaka is right, it truly is a shame. The final ritual is the cumulative of everyone's efforts and the fireworks look beautiful at night. I mean you could always stay until then. The Kamisato Estate is always open to you."

Ayato speaks with a purposefully convincing tone. What is up with people trying to convince you to stay? First Kokomi and now Ayato? Without thinking too deeply you reply.

"The journey from Liyue to Inazuma is pretty long and unpredictable. And there's no way I can freeload on you guys for some fireworks. Next time I come over I'll stay longer to attend it. Besides I can use the teleport waypoints."

The second you say that is the moment you regret it. Great going, now you'll be forced back to Inazuma in less than a month!

Too busy insulting yourself for your own stupidity you don't see how Ayaka and Thoma light up. Eagerly she writes down the date and time of the final ritual before placing it in your palm.

"Oh, that's perfect Y/N! Now you can continue being an oracle the way you wished and make it in time for the festival."

Ayato seems far too calm and smug for this whole thing to just be your own mistake. There's no doubt Ayato was waiting for you to mention teleporting yourself. Probably in case there was some prerequisite. Which you definitely would have made up if he mentioned it first. No one else to blame except yourself.

"Thanks, Ayaka, I'll do my best to attend." You slip the paper into your bag and smile warmly. You can't out right reject it now but maybe later on you can make some sort of excuse to avoid attending. Either way you have time and if you do have to attend...

Then your luck and lies going your way will let you have a firm standing as an oracle that won't allow Ei to suspect you that easily.

Maybe you're better off faking your death and living with the Aranaras. As the creator you should have some sort of influence on creatures. Hopefully...

"So, since the ritual is done and the festival is coming to an end, I should be on my way to Ritou. What boat am I taking?"

"That eager to leave Y/N? I would have thought you would at least let me bring up the topic seeing as we housed you all this time." Ayato's eyes are narrowed as he looks at you. His hand is covering his face and his voice sounds annoyed.

"I would never want to overstay my welcome in your estate. How could I take advantage of your kindness anymore then I already have? Besides wouldn't kind hosts like yourself avoid making your guests unwelcome by bringing up the topic of leaving. I'm simply doing you a favor."

You speak with a mocking kind voice and bring out the fan he gave you to cover your mouth. His annoyed voice melts away as he laughs softly at your actions. You crack a smile too until he tips your fan forward to reveal your face.

"This fan will be your ticket to the boat. As promised, I selected the best boat, the Crux will treat you kindly when you board the Alcor. Captain Beidou is said to be one of the best captains and a crew member by the name Kaedehara Kazuha was once a loyal subordinate of the Kamisato's."

That was actually pretty cool. Beidou is said to have defeated a hydra in her character entry. Plus, Kazuha was a really popular character. You were fond of them both and thinking of meeting them with no worry of dying sounded amazing.

At least until you remembered how the Crux was known for 'daring' adventures meaning batshit dangerous sailing. They could all survive it because they either have a vision or training. But you? You weren't a fighter, nor did you have any powers. It's that stupid dilemma about what to do when you inventible encounter enemies again!

"Thanks Ayato, the creator seems to trust them both a lot too. To get to Ritou I'll need to pass Byakko Plain and Konda village. And that little shore area with loads of monsters."

Ayato pauses when you mention monsters. He didn't forget that you can't fight right? You look to Ayaka and she's avoiding your gaze. You turn a little more urgently to Thoma just for him to smile nervously.

"You all forgot that I don't have any guards, fighting skills and powers, didn't you?"

"It's not that we forgot when we were making preparations Y/N. Originally, I was going to accompany you but the Shogun suddenly announced a meeting this morning that will be starting in an hour. Ayato and I will be forced to attend leaving Thoma the only one to take care of the estate in our absence."

You feel a bit more frantic. Maybe if it was daylight, you'd just take the risk but nighttime? You have no intention of dying to a hilichurl or any other monsters, humans included.

"Can't a guard come with me then?"

"It seems that's our only choice. The guards are necessary for the festival due to the large number of people. And the amount only heightens at night but it's a risk we'll have to take. Your safety is priority, you'll need two guards at least"

You feel a bit guilty knowing that you'll be putting the public in danger. But the chance of someone dying without two guards is much lower than the chance of you dying without a guard. It's not a bad thing to have survival instincts, you tell yourself to ease the guilt.

"Wouldn't a better idea be for me to accompany them instead?" Someone butts into the conversation (rude) with a horrifically familiar voice.

Clips of the scene "Traveler, you're so dreamy~" echo throughout your mind as you remember his first birthday art posted on Reddit during a crisis that only caused more chaos.

Heizou walks with confidence to your group smiling innocently. Like he wasn't just eavesdropping on everything. You want to scream.

Who fucking cursed you?! You managed to run into everybody you wanted to avoid! Except Ei but you were starting to doubt that you'll be able to avoid her too.

Thoma throws Heizou a suspicious glance before standing next to you protectively. You wish Thoma was able to protect you from whatever Heizou's intuition is telling him about you. There's a large chance he heard you be referred to as an oracle.

Ayato and Ayaka keep their composure as Heizou stops in front of them who are standing in front of you. Seems like they all don't want him close to you. Is it because he's part of the Tenryou Commission?

"My, what's the caution about? I'm an upstanding member of the Tenryou Commission. With a vision too! I prefer not to fight but I am good at it." His voice was even more melodious in person. If only it wasn't hiding the absolute trap, you know he has behind his back.

"Considering that you were eavesdropping on our conversation for a while, I truly doubt your words. You always abandon or delegate your work to other people too. Can I really trust that with Y/N's safety?"

Ayato's words are as sharp as his stare. His eyes are similar to the depths of the ocean waiting to pull their victims into the freezing water. It really reminded you of when you first met him. Your relationship with him has improved in bounds and leaps.

"Now, now no need to be so hostile. I'm under Madam Kujou Sara this time. She was worried about the oracle and asked me to check up on them. I am the only other vision holder that's awakened in the Tenryou Commission. I can promise you that they'll make it to Ritou, they'll probably be boarding the Crux, correct?"

Heizou, to his credit, is good under Ayato's pressure. Probably from dealing with Sara all the time. Thoma clearly doesn't trust Heizou, Ayaka is seemingly neutral on the matter and Ayato is weirdly against Heizou.

"Were you not listening early enough to be sure what boat Y/N is going on?"

How didn't you notice Heizou listening? You were able to spot Yae right away, yet you missed him?

"The oracle is clearly an important person as they are directly connected to the creator. Only the Crux could provide a level of safety fit for them."

You saw Yae first, so you were always on guard for her. Did you unknowingly relax around the Kamisato's therefore preventing you from noticing Heizou?

"All it took was a quick deduction. I'm a detective for a reason." Heizou ends with a smile. Ayato though less tense hasn't let up his stare. The tension is killing you, but you can't afford to stay any longer.

Heizou only offered to figure out the mystery behind you and his intuition probably had a hand in it too. Going with him does mean dealing with whatever questions he throws at you, but it seems to be your only choice. You can't risk staying any longer and running into Ei.

You move away from Thoma's side and place a hand on Ayato's shoulder. You smile trying to lessen Ayato's suspicion.

"He doesn't seem to be a bad choice at all. Going with him means I'll be safe and so will everyone else. Like he said, he's an awakened acolyte with a vision. Sara wouldn't send him unless she was truly okay with it. She's very cautious concerning these things after all."

Ayato looks down at you with a vague feeling of dissatisfaction. If it was up to him, he would accompany you himself. Better yet he would keep you in Inazuma. He knows Ayaka and Thoma would be more than happy with that too.

But the longer he looks at you the more he knows that what he wants just isn't going to happen or work. The nervous smile you send him makes his heart flutter. With a sigh he nods.

"If that's what you wish Y/N then Shikanoin can escort you to the boat." And if his subordinate that is already stationed there reports back that you never boarded the boat then he knows exactly who to blame.

You smile feeling relieved that you won't have to worry about dying on the journey. Looking to Heizou you feel that relief turn to exhaustion as you imagine what the conversation during the journey will be like.

"You're Shikanoin Heizou correct? I'm Y/N, an oracle for the creator. Although I don't appreciate you eavesdropping, I am thankful that you'll be escorting me."

You walk forward and hold out your hand to shake his. Heizou looks at the two Kamisato's and honorary Kamisato behind you who are giving him varying levels of glares. Flashing a smug smile to them he shakes your hand.

"Don't mention it Y/N. You can just call me Heizou, we'll be spending a lot of time together on this trip after all."

You can tell he's saying that more to rile up the Kamisatos, but you tactfully ignore it and release his hand. Time to play damage control! Fun.

You turn around to face them with a grin. You were honestly going to miss them, a lot more than you originally thought.

"I can't thank you three enough for helping me out like this. Whenever I visit Inazuma again, the first stop will be the estate. Probably when the final ritual is occurring. If there's anything I can do for you, let me know, okay?"

They all gave you their own version of goodbye.

"I'll be eagerly awaiting your next visit." A sad but happy face hiding behind a fan.

"Come whenever, I'll make you more good food!" An excited and slightly melancholic expression.

"Don't sound so sappy, you make it sound like you'll die." A gentle look that alludes to the longing hiding behind it.

You can't help but feel a sense of dread rise up. As if the next time you see them won't be as happy as you think it'll be.

But that's the future. The future can always be changed. You shouldn't get so hung up and worried about something that is so far away.

To ease your worries and the sorrow you feel at having to leave, you wave to them with a bright smile. You follow Heizou who already began walking to Inazuma City's exit.

He isn't speaking, just quietly leading you through the city. You don't bother trying to break the quiet like you did with Ayato. You don't need Heizou's attention anymore then you probably have.

Your eyes trail over Heizou as you follow him. You try not to stare at his exposed sides but judging by the smile he gives you... He definitely noticed. Slu-

"Are all oracles supposed to be as perverted as you?"

"What do you mean by perverted? If you take my glances at you as perversion, then you're the perverted one. Aren't you cold?"

"It's not that bad. I'm sure you're at least a little warmer with that mask on." Here comes the questions.

"It's broken, any heat I could retained is lost through the cracks."

"Then why wear it? Surely the Kamisato's would gladly fund you more masks. So, what's so special about that mask? Why even wear it?"

Unlike Yae who was only interested in toying with you, Heizou is looking to solve the mystery. Plus, you had him which means he must feel the pull you give off as the creator. What's the point of being the creator if it only leads you to more problems?

Like it or not you're stuck in this situation and his intuition is like an otherworldly sense. Staying silent might lead him to arrest you, you can't risk missing the boat. So, you'll need to lead him around, a plan that just might work due to his own pride.

"Well why can't I? My mask isn't hurting anyone. Is your instinct as a detective telling you that my mask is important?"

"My intuition you mean. You're smart enough to get the Kamisato's trust and Madam Kujou Sara's trust. And I have a hunch that, that mask is connected to your oracle status."

"Doubting me huh? Well, you can't arrest me for wearing a mask or just looking shady so let's make this journey fun." You say with a smile as you both pass farms and the huge tree at the edge of the city.

"What are you proposing?"

"I guess you could call it a game. Your intuition seems sharp enough to pick up on any bullshit I spew. Ask me any questions and I'll give you cryptic answers. Maybe I'm lying, telling the truth, deflecting or a mix of them all. A test of both of our skills. If you can figure out why I'm hiding my face, then I'll tell you everything."

You actually mean it. Mostly because Heizou wouldn't believe you if you aren't being honest. If he can actually wait and listen to everything, then maybe he won't immediately attack you.

You know it's a stupid chance, but you can't risk being here any longer. You want to stop feeling scared of thunderous skies and lighting chasing your every move.

Heizou is quiet as he watches you while thinking. Should he accept this? His intuition won't stop nagging him to find the truth behind you. What does he really have to lose playing with you like this? With a smile he finally responds.

"Alright, let's see if you can keep the truth hidden as well as you think you can. Is that mask special?"

"Not really, I only took it because it was broken."

"Why would you take a broken mask?"

"The price of course, well the lack of price I mean." You only fibbed a little there. You have to test how well he can pick up on lies.

He hums in acknowledgement. It's clear he doesn't fully believe it. The game was right to dub him as a prodigy detective.

"That mask has the trademark of Mr. Sanden. He's a bit of a perfectionist, he doesn't sell any masks he isn't happy with. So how did you manage to get him to sell it to you?"

He's got home advantage too. But remembering Heizou's past made you recall his hatred for sin. You can't help but worry that he'll react violently if you admit your theft. That's what selective wording is good for!

"You got me. Sanden didn't want to sell it to me, but he eventually did let me leave with it. I'm thankful since the mask has served me well."

"Are you wearing that mask to deter certain people?" That little bait was a good deflection.

"Well, you could say so. Maybe I committed a crime that would be revealed with my mask off. Or I'm hiding an ugly scar behind it that I don't want people to see. It could be that I'm living a double life and this mask is the only difference between my lives."

You shrug and pass by the spot where you met the Arrataki Gang. Not for the first time you missed them. Sara included, at least you didn't need to think hard and fast on how to fool her.

"What do you think is the truth? Are they all true to a degree? Or are they all lies?"

Heizou hums and holds his chin looking like a true detective. You look a little closer to examine the moles beneath his eyes. It was pretty cool how he had matching ones. He snaps his fingers and points at you with mirth.

"Sounds more like two lies and a truth. Or maybe half-truth would be a better description. That double life choice seems to be on the right track."

He wasn't wrong, but the answer was much farther than a double life. You spot the teleport waypoint that you activated after defeating those treasure hoarders and nobushi. Are the materials you collected from them still bloody?

"Believe what you will. I don't necessarily need to confirm whether you got the correct answer."

"Getting a little defensive aren't you. Seems like I should ask you a little more about this topic. Where were you born?"

"I actually don't know." It's true, you had no clue what hospital or city you were born in.

"Then where did you arrive in Inazuma? Watatsumi or Ritou?"

"Neither I simply woke up on Seirai Island." You know he'll probably dig around for more information about this topic once you leave but you're okay with that. How will he tell which story on your appearance is true or false?

"I find it hard to believe that you don't remember anything beyond that."

"I don't have many memories before becoming the oracle. Realizing what I have to do ordered by the creator makes me believe that my past-"

Your rambling is cut off by the scoff he lets out.

"Man alive, no need to start preaching about the creator that I've personally experienced. I don't believe your words about the creator at all. And we got quite off topic, didn't we? Tell me, did the creator order you to wear that mask?"

What a question. Perfect time to test deflection.

"Would you stop asking me questions if I say that the creator did order me to wear it? Would you even believe me if I said that they did?"

"No."

"So, you're just asking to fuck with me?"

"Not necessarily, all these questions are just steppingstones to the truth."

"Fancy way to say that you'll ask me anything and everything."

"Glad to hear that you've already accepted your fate." This little shit.

You slow down your pace while passing by the temple. You feel a bit tempted to enter it to admire the murals. Heizou stops to watch you stare up at it in amazement. For an 'oracle' you seem mesmerized by the temple.

You jump a little as Heizou slings a arm around your shoulder and pulls you along the path again. Konda village is in sight and his breath is fanning over your ear.

"So, tell me Y/N, do you at least remember what region you were born in? Or at least lived in before becoming an oracle? Y/N isn't a very common name, in fact you're the first person I've met with that name."

"Well, I'm quite sure I wasn't born in Inazuma. I wouldn't call Seirai Island a home either." You nearly whisper as you stare straight into his eyes. You refused to be psyched out, not after all the other authorities you tricked on Earth.

He lets go of you and walks a little ahead of you. Frowning in confusion you speed up to match his pace. You barely catch the way his smile wavers a little and his hand toys with the baton on his hip. Was the previous proximity affecting Heizou too?

"What's wrong Heizou? For someone who I pegged as the teasing type you sure can't handle your own consequences."

Heizou smiles a littler wider contradicting how his eyebrows furrow. There's a large chance you're a criminal, something like that shouldn't have affected him so strongly. So why did you? Why did the heat of your body and smell of something sweet on you make him fumble like that?

"Speak for yourself, your heart was beating out of your chest."

"Even noticed my heartbeat huh? Sounds like you've got some sort of crush."

"You wish now stop trying to distract me. In fact, what about those writings on the temple walls made you so distracted."

"They were writing?" You questioned instinctively and immediately regretted it. The smile Heizou wears is victorious.

"Yes, it was. Do you know how to read?"

"No. Or at least not that well."

"Heh so that's a yes, just not in this language."

"Basically."

"Interesting and very believable. That writing was very old, but it was written in the universal language with Inazuma dialect. Meaning you should be able to at least recognize it as writing, but you didn't."

You're nervous but you calmly cross the stone bridge into Konda village. Heizou seems to want to ask something but the yells from parents interrupt him.

"Takeru! Takeru, you little rascal it's bedtime! Where are you?! Oh, where is he?" An older woman is calling out for Takeru who seems to be a child judging by the bedtime.

"Futaba! It's nighttime, it's not safe to be out this late! Futaba!" A much older woman with white hair is calling out too. You and Heizou pass by them a little concerned.

The sky is darkening but it's not pitch black just yet. Those children should probably still be out playing or something. Heizou hums and sweeps his eyes across the village.

"After I drop you off, I'll come back to make sure those kids came back fine."

"Is it normal for children to play without supervision?" The thought of kids playing outside when there are literal monsters around sounds unbelievable.

"It's quite common especially around villages like this where only elderly and children live. This is a farming village too so they're likely playing on the farm."

You nod and follow Heizou to leave the village by going under the flimsy looking gate. The sickle you picked up and put in your bag on whim still makes you uneasy. Your gut feeling made you pick it up and you aren't quite sure what to do with it now.

"I haven't forgotten about your slip up. So, either you lied about knowing how to read or you know how to read in a different language that has no roots in the universal language."

This guys just does not miss a beat. As you get closer to the beach area that leads to Ritou, you see a teleport waypoint. You couldn't activate the one in Inazuma City due to the crowd and Yae but this one could be used to your advantage.

You stop at the waypoint making Heizou look at you in confusion. You place a hand on the waypoint and relish in the new gold color it turns. Smugly you look to see Heizou staring at the waypoint with a shocked expression.

"Man alive, how did you-?"

He's cut off by a scream. It sounds like a young boy and you both look at each other in alert. Immediately Heizou turns and runs down the steps onto the shore with you following him.

The scream is joined by another scream sounding like a girl. You and Heizou follow it to the right and run past the waterfall and follow the dirt path. Blindly passing by a hilichurl camp you see a Fatui Hydrogunner and an Electrohammer.

You freeze up in fear as you watch a boy be slung over the Hydrogunner's shoulder and a girl try to crawl away from the Electrohammer. Heizou wastes no time to deliver an anemo infused punch to the Electrohammer giving the girl a chance to stand up.

You take a deep breath and move closer to hold the girl. She clings onto you in fear as she weeps loudly. You watch in a daze as Heizou continues dealing blows to the Electrohammer. At least until the Hydrogunner makes his move.

"Freeze or the boy drowns."

All three of you freeze as the Hydrogunner points to his gun to the boy's head. The Electrohammer hits Heizou straight in the chest with the war hammer knocking him back.

"Heizou!" You yell as you watch him hit the ground harshly. You yelp in pain when you're suddenly lifted up harshly by your neck. Struggling in his grasp uselessly until he squeezes your neck and throws you over his shoulder. The girl cowers and cries as she's yanked onto the other side.

Heizou stands up but stays in place as the Hydrogunner keeps the gun to the boy's head. You're about to wrap your hands around the Electrohammer's neck when he speaks.

"I wouldn't do that unless you want the boy to get blown to pieces."

You freeze before hanging limply over his shoulder. Everything is quiet save for the children's sobs. The Electrohammer starts walking farther from the city and the Hydrogunner does the same but slower.

You can only watch as Heizou's furious face gets smaller and smaller. They bring you and the kids to a camp close to Araumi. You land roughly on the floor with rope tied around you. A Anemoboxer who was waiting at their camp ties up the kids and drops them next to you. You give one last scathing glare before they close the tent flap.

Tense, you wait a few moments until you hear the muffled sounds of them talking. You turn back to look at the scared kids next to you.

"Hey, hey it's okay. We're going to get out of this, okay? Did you see that guy with me? He's a friend and he's really strong too. He's gonna get us out of here."

Their sobs slow down at your words and they look up at you. They have little scratches and scraps from trying to escape the Fatui.

"I want to go home, I wanna see Granny." "Are they going to take us?"

You shush them quietly to stop them from working themselves up into a crying fit.

"Me and my friend are going to make sure you get home safe. Why don't you both tell me your names? Mine is Y/N and my friend is called Heizou."

"I'm Takeru and she's Futaba." Takeru speaks with a waver as Futaba nods tearfully. They're still scared and the conversation between the Fatui is slowly turning into an argument.

"It's nice to meet you both, now I need you both to be brave and stay quiet for me." They both nod and you smile trying to offer some comfort. You couldn't let them take you and the kids' hostage again.

The ropes are tight around your torso and wrists, but they underestimated you. There is a pole in the middle of the tent with a wheel but it's the gear behind it that matters.

Carefully you move your legs until they are bent underneath you. You stand up and stumble a little to the gear. You can feel the sharp edges around the gear and smile.

At first you try to cut the large rope around your torso, but the rope is too thick and strong. You move your back higher against the pole so that the rope around your wrists is the one being cut.

Takeru and Futaba watch you in a mixture of fear and hope. You smile when you feel the rope give away and fall to the ground. With your hands free, you struggle a little to shimmy your bound arms to your front.

It's like wearing a really tight shirt with your arms still in it. Uncomfortable but not super painful. Once it's done you move to your bag that was thrown on the ground. Carefully you kneel and open it.

The game screen is deeper in the bag, and you shove your hand in to select the sickle you took from Konda village. When you pull your hand out it's weakly holding the sickle.

The kids smile as hope becomes clearer. The argument outside is getting louder. Yells of "this wasn't the plan!" and "we have to do it!" are making you increasingly worried.

Carefully you maneuver the sickle to cut the ropes without cutting your own shirt. The ropes break and you stretch your arms to get the blood flowing.

"Alright, I'm gonna get you both free but you have to stay quiet and listen to me or we'll get caught again."

They nod eagerly and you move behind them. You cut off the ropes and they stand up in a flash. But the loud sound of a punch cuts your victory short. Takeru and Futaba huddle closer to you in fear.

You smile kindly and hold out your free hand to them.

"Hold onto me, be prepared to make a run." They nod and grasp your arm as the sound of fighting gets louder. You walk closer to the tent flap and lift it to see the outside.

Heizou is fighting them all with a few wounds. The hit he took earlier must still be affecting him. This was not a good match up. Although the elemental shields aren't up yet, it wasn't an easy fight.

The Anemoboxer and the Hydrogunner are both healing and the Electrohammer is giving heavy electro blows. Not even mentioning the swirl that's happening. Once those shields come up, Heizou will have even more work to do.

The minute they have one of you hostage is when the fight is over. You can't let that happen. You can dodge but the kids can't. You eye the path and turn back to the kids.

"Listen carefully, you saw that dirt path they took us on? You need to follow it back to where me and Heizou found you. Just stay there and wait, okay? If anyone that you don't recognize starts coming. just hide."

You would rather them go straight back to Konda village, but you didn't want them at the mercy of the hilichurls either. They tremble but nod at your words.

You look out the flap sneakily and suck in a breath as the Anemoboxer starts heading towards the tent you all are at. Quickly you throw it open and drag the kids out with you.

The fighting freezes for a moment as the flap hits the Anemoboxer in the face and you push the kids in front of you. The Electrohammer and Hydrogunner look at you in surprise.

"Run!"

This springs the kids into action and Heizou delivers a charged up anemo punch to the Hydrogunner. Rain starts to fall, and the elemental shields were thrown up. The Anemoboxer has just doubled in your dangerous rating. The Anemoboxer reaches out for you making you jump back.

You just need to keep the Anemoboxer away from Heizou who's dealing with the other two Fatui Skirmishers. You keep dodging and running circles around him. You were mostly afraid of him using anemo to pull you in.

The fights weren't like watching it in the game. These guys bleed even while encased in the war machines. You hear the groan of the Hydrogunner passing out and smile crookedly. Was this fight finally going to be over soon?

The Anemoboxer leaves you to fight Heizou and you finally take a breather. Heizou doesn't stick to the Genshin game rules either. His catalyst follows him as he mixes up his normal attack pattern. Horrible timing but it's really cool watching him use anemo in creative ways that the game never showed.

The enemies seem to be in a rougher state. There's a three way stand off as they all stop to catch their breath. You see movement behind Heizou and feel your blood run cold.

"Heizou behind you!"

Heizou follows your words and just barely dodges the water blast from the Hydrogunner that was slowly getting back up. With one last fully charged kick to the head, the Hydrogunner falls down. The loud crack lets you know that he may never get up again.

The other two Fatui don't let the opportunity slip. With the Anemoboxer dragging Heizou closer, the Electrohammer slams the hammer down onto Heizou. You clench the sickle in your hand tighter as you can only watch in horror.

You stayed out of the fight for a reason, you couldn't fight you would only be in the way. But that's not an option anymore. Hearing his pained groans as he's punched by the Anemoboxer swirling the electro and rain spurs you into action.

While the Anemoboxer's back is turned you sneak up and raise the sickle. The spot in his back with no armor covering it seems to call to you. You slam the tip of the blade straight into it making him cry out.

You pull it out in a hurry and jump back as the wound bleeds more. The Electrohammer looks at you in surprise giving Heizou a long enough breather to get back up.

The Electrohammer and Heizou go straight back to combat as the Anemoboxer faces you. His huge gauntlets swing around trying to hit you as he coughs up blood. The ground is slippery, and it makes your dodging a little harder.

You jump closer to the boxer making him throw up his shield in reflex. Using the rain, you slide around him and slash his thigh to limit his speed.

The sickle's weight was clumsy at first but the more you traded blows using it, the more you came to master it. Gritting your teeth, you quickly stand back up after slipping from the wet ground.

Silently you urge Heizou to hurry up, you weren't sure how much more you could take. Your mask was starting to crumble but you pushed it to the back of your mind.

The boxer runs up to you in a flash not letting you back away fast enough. Reflexes are what save you from a punch to the face as you crouch and roll away. He's still bringing his fist back to defend himself giving you an opening.

You can tell something is different as you swing your sickle. Something about you is different that makes you wonder if you'll be able to finish the boxer once and for all.

Electro crackles around the sickle as you puncture his chest. The electro-charged reaction and wound seem to do the trick. The boxer stumbles and gasps for air.

You watch in horror and relief as the boxer falls onto the floor. You really killed again, and you used elemental to do so. You don't have a moment to stew on that though as you hurriedly dodge the now furious Electrohammer. The war hammer slams onto the ground and Heizou is quick to kick a projectile anemo shot to his face.

It knocks him to the ground, and you watch with unknown feelings as the mask he wears breaks. The fight is over, you and Heizou won. There's no time to wallow in self-pity, not as Heizou stumbles with a dazed expression.

You're quick to support him and he lays his bleeding head on you. You gently move his arm to wrap around you and do the same for him. His wounds aren't life threatening or serious, but he's been bleeding for a while. You need to stop the bleeding first.

Helping him gently you move him to lean against a small boulder. In a rush you go back to the tent and open your bag. You take out some of the leftover medical supplies you kept (stole) from the Kamisato Estate.

Slinging the bag back on you hurry to Heizou. The rain seems to be letting up as you examine him. His head is bleeding from a cut, so you bandage it first. His shirt is dyed red, and you lift it up and wince at the sight.

Multiple bruises and cuts cover his stomach and chest. That's gonna be a bitch to bandage, especially considering how much damage his back too.

"Sorry Heizou, this'll hurt." Heizou only weakly groans with his eyes screwed shut in pain.

Pushing the shirt as high as you can, you start wrapping it around him. Not the best solution but it's your only one with so little supplies. Heizou's consciousness seems to come and go as you finish and fix his shirt.

The thought of Heizou closing his eyes and falling asleep in such a state worries you. What if he passes out from blood loss and dies? Thoughts like that rise up and you grasp for anything to keep him awake.

"Hey Heizou, if you can respond to me in words. I'll tell you a big hint to my secret."

His eyes focus on you a little more. That's a good sign, nothing like baiting a detective like him with leads.

"Well, *cough* what hint are you *cough* going to give me?" His raspy voice and coughs worry you, but they seem to make him more awake.

"You were really close on me having a second life."

"That's it? That's a *cough* crappy hint."

You laugh at his remark trying to hide your relief. The fear of holding another cold body of someone you cared about still plagues you.

"If you want a better hint then you better drag it out of me as I drag you back to Konda village."

You support him as he chuckles at your words. He does his best to not lay too much weight on you but that's hard when his head is fuzzy.

The walk is quiet and with him so close you relish in the sound of his harsh breathing. It lets you know that he's still breathing, that you didn't fail.

You don't want to think about the person you just killed. So, your mind analyzes about the electro you wielded through the sickle instead. It makes a lot of sense that you can use the elements through a weapon as a medium. How could you have not realized that possibility?

If you continued training with it, could you eventually use electro without a weapon? Probably not but the idea of shooting electro is cool, nonetheless.

Takeru and Futaba are waiting nervously in the spot you instructed. You smile at the sight and wait till you are closer to call out.

"Futaba, Takeru! Over here!"

They smile at the sight of you both and run to meet you. Futaba frowns in worry at the sight of Heizou and you injured. Takeru tries to help by supporting his other side.

Heizou buries his head in the crook of your neck to hide the grimace of pain as Takeru touches the wounded area.

"Takeru, Futaba can you guys guide us to Konda village? It's an important job since we don't want to get ambushed by enemies."

Eyes wide they nod and walk a little ahead. They survey the surroundings seriously and nod at you firmly to show that it's safe.

Heizou keeps his head on your shoulder and mumbles. "Thanks, guess you're as perceptive as I thought."

You huff in amusement and continue supporting him until you all get to Konda village. The two women that were looking for the kids earlier spot you all and rush over.

They both hug their respective family members with tears in their eyes. It's clear that the kids aren't over the dangerous encounter.

"Thank you so much for saving Takeru and Futaba. You both seem very injured, please come to my house. I have some supplies that can help you both."

The village chief approaches you and Heizou with concern. You nod gratefully and help Heizou into the house. There's a small cot on the floor and Heizou lays down on it slowly.

Konda Densuke, the village chief comes back with a fully stocked medical kit. It's more primitive than the ones you are used to in Earth, but it'll work well enough.

"I'll leave you to it, once you're done, please come outside. I'll have something that can help that young man."

Quietly you thank the old man and turn back to Heizou as the door closes.

"I'm about to get pretty personal with your body, that's not a problem, right?"

"Why are you asking as if you weren't doing that earlier? Of course, it's fine, just don't be so obvious with your staring."

"If you weren't injured, I would hit you myself."

He chuckles and removes his cracked arm guards. You focus on taking out the bandages and ointment out of the kit. You leave briefly to wet a rag with water and come back to see Heizou shirtless sitting on the cot.

He smiles up at you seemingly more aware and alert. His bandages around his torso are stained red. Smaller cuts and scrapes cover his arms and legs. The bandage on his forehead is bleeding a lot less than before.

You kneel beside him and carefully remove the bandage on his head. Heizou bears the pain of you wiping away the dirt and applying the ointment well. The new patch is put on his head and your hands move lower to the bandages around his torso.

After unraveling it, you feel relieved that nothing has become inflamed or infected yet. The bruises on his back and front are tended to before you clean the cuts. You firmly wrap the new bandage around his torso. He only tenses up as you finish.

"This is only a temporary solution. Once we get to Ritou you should see a doctor."

"I will, I promise but I must say. This is some pretty good work, like you have experience doing this kind of thing. Care to tell me who you've helped before?"

He really is a nuisance. He was almost killed in a bad match up with three Fatui Skirmishers and his first instinct after properly waking up is to question you?

"Seriously? Not even a thank you? And my expertise comes from taking care of myself if you must know." Scowling with no real annoyance you put away the remaining supplies back into the med kit.

Heizou laughs at your reaction before placing a hand on your shoulder. He rests his head on the opposite shoulder and speaks softly. What is with this guy and leaning on you?

"You're right, thank you Y/N. Even with my suspicions, I'm still thankful that you helped me and those kids. I'm hoping that whatever secret you're hiding isn't one I'll ever have to arrest you for."

HIs bare bandaged chest against your back makes you embarrassed.

"Aren't you a bit too up close and personal with someone you're suspecting?" You say stiffly as he proceeds to melt even further into you.

"Getting shy?" He whispers teasingly. His face is dangerously close to your neck making you tense up further. You already knew that he was a flirt but isn't he moving too fast?!

Your face gets redder as his breath grazes your neck. People have tried to trick you in numerous ways before. That includes pretending to have fallen in love with you for information. Seduction never worked on you due to how untrusting you are.

But in Teyvat? Where the characters you found comfort in and loved? It was hard not to be affected or overthink things like this. While you were avoiding looking at him, Heizou took his time admiring you.

The flustered look on your face, your fingers drumming on your thigh. It was adorable how nervous you were. For a split second he remembered how comfortable you were around the Kamisato, how brightly you smiled. Did you get all flustered around them like this too?

A flash of jealousy engulfs him, and his body seems out of his control. His teeth lightly nip your neck making you stand up in a flash. Your voice is steady, but your heart is beating out of control.

"I'm going to see what the village chief had for you. Just stay here."

Watching you leave in a hurry makes him realize what he just did. Man alive, what the hell made him act like that? Despite the slight guilt from overstepping a boundary, he honestly didn't regret it. If he had a chance, he'd probably do it again.

When you come back in with two plates and a cup. Your face was back to normal, and your posture was relaxed.

"They were nice enough to make us some food and a drink to help with your blood loss. It's some citrus juice so make sure to drink it all."

Sitting down next to him, you pass him the cup and a plate. You eat the food and Heizou follows your lead. It's fine if you don't want to touch on what happened. Frankly he's still unsure why he's become so enamored by you as well. But at least he has a better grasp on you and your secret.

After eating everything you both return the dishes and thank the chief. The elderly women, Takeru, and Futaba all come out despite the dark sky. They thank you and Heizou asking if you need anything.

"Don't worry, I'm just glad no one got seriously hurt." Heizou tries to elbow you with playful intent, but you move out the way with a smile.

"Why don't you both stay the night? Those injuries must still be bothering you. We have extra room."

You only had some minor bruising compared to Heizou. The cuts and scrapes were no more than an itch to you. These kinds of injuries were normal to you on Earth. And you really couldn't afford to waste any more time.

"Thanks for the offer but we have to get to Ritou before the stars come out. Please stay safe."

You wave to them one last time before arriving back at the shore area.

"Seems like there's no more children being kidnapped, let's get across this area fast."

Heizou on the other hand seems content to just stroll along. Well, that wouldn't work for you, you could not miss the Crux. You stop letting Heizou walk a little ahead of you. He notices your absence and stops to look back at you in confusion.

You run past him and grab something from his side. You slow your sprint a little to face him as you raise your prize.

"If you want your jitte back then you'll have to catch me!" Spinning around you face Ritou's direction and continue running. You can hear Heizou kick sand as he chases after you.

He honestly could care less about his jitte. It's the sight of you smiling brightly as he tries to grab you that makes him continue chasing you. The wounds and injuries from the fight still ache but it's worth the pain. You're worth the pain.

You'll be leaving soon. You might be a fraud. Logic says that being so fixated on you so soon is dangerous and stupid. Yet his smile never leaves his face as he finally snatches his jitte out of your hand.

His intuition screams at him that you're so much more. That whatever you're hiding will bring him happiness of a lifetime. That you will bring him that happiness.

You stumble onto the stone pavement in Ritou as Heizou keeps his hand on your shoulder. You're both calming down from laughing at him nearly falling face first into the sand.

"How didn't you see that pile of crabs? Too distracted by me to focus?"

"What if I was? You can't tell since you nearly passed out from laughing at me."

"You can't blame me for that! I would pay good money to have seen you actually fall face first."

You walk past Ritou's town square as the docks and inspection tent get into view.

"Money huh? Is that the currency in your old world?"

You continue walking casually but there's no denying how you almost froze up.

"Is that the conclusion you've come to after all the questions?"

"My intuition tells me that I've barely scrapped the surface but I'm all out of leads. For now, my suspicion is that you come from another world similar to the traveler. Although I'm not sure if the creator ordered you to keep your identity secret. You do seem to be an oracle for them."

Psychology really was amazing. By getting Heizou so worked up about your mask, you managed to have him believe you to be an oracle. The minor fact of you not being from this world makes him feel accomplished in a sense. You let him figure out one secret to hide a bigger one.

"You really are a great detective. No one else has realized I'm not from this world but you. But that didn't answer my original question in the game. It seems like you lost Heizou, no secrets for you."

Stopping at the end of the stairs Heizou looks at you seriously.

"I really hate leaving mysteries unsolved."

"Then you'll just have to handle me being the mystery left unsolved."

"What if I just took your mask off right now? We both know I'd catch you even if you tried to run. Or better yet I could arrest you for any stupid reason just to take it off."

You can't stop the laughter that bubbles up inside you. You wipe the moisture from your eyes as your laughter turns to giggles. The main reason you were okay with traveling with Heizou despite his intense need to solve mysteries is because...

"That would utterly destroy your pride. I know that you dislike fighting, that the moment you're forced into combat while solving a mystery is when you feel like you lost. You take so much pride in becoming a detective that having to resort to force would be a low you'd never stoop down to reach."

He turns away with a relaxed stance. His head angled to the ground with a nostalgic smile.

"Guess you must have found out some of my private information through the creator. But you're right, I would never do that."

It's quiet as you two resume walking to the inspection tent. Ah crap, does the fan work as an ID for you too?

There's no line due to how late it is but there is a familiar person.

"Sara?"

She turns away from the inspector and looks at you with some confusion. The sight of Heizou next to you, so close to you, makes her frown.

"Y/N, a pleasure to see you again. I can only assume that you are leaving under the creator's orders but what are you doing with Shikanoin?"

"But didn't you ask him to check up on me?"

...That little shit.

Sara glares at Heizou as you mentally put the pieces together. Sara sees Heizou as someone irresponsible. There's a very low chance of her entrusting someone connected to the 'creator' like you to him. She would rather do it herself.

Ayato was right when he said that Heizou tends to skip or delegate regular Doushin duties to others. And that's because he has no interest in those jobs. Sara probably knows that full well and would rather avoid that outcome. Plus, Heizou even asked where you arrived on Inazuma even though you already told Sara that you woke up on Ritou.

"Shikanoin, that is not acceptable behavior for a Doushin. What explanation do you have for yourself?"

Sara's stern voice bounces off Heizou who is far too used to it. You didn't bother stepping in. Not only were you curious how he got to know all your previous information, but the sneaky bastard deserved it.

"Madam you really can't blame me for investigating on my own accord. Not only have there been some subtle rumors about a mysterious oracle, but you kept glancing at Y/N during the festival. As Y/N already knows, I listened in on their conversation with the Kamisato Clan for a bit before introducing myself."

"Even still, you know the proper procedures to investigate something. Now that you've already interrogated them, you should leave them be- What are those wounds?"

Sara's exasperated voice turns cold when she looks closer at you and notices the minor cuts on you.

"Were you attacked on the way here? Not only did the oracle get injured but you also investigated them in this state?"

Maybe you should step in now, Sara seems on the verge of throwing him in jail.

"It's fine Sara, some Fatui were trying to kidnap two children from Konda village, so we stepped in. Honestly Heizou did most of the fighting and is the real wounded one."

You smile and finish with an almost proud laugh. "It was impressive how Heizou had me fooled this entire time. I'm not mad at all so don't worry Sara. But thank you for being so worried."

You softly hold Sara's hands and give a grateful squeeze before pulling away. You step past her to talk to the inspector. This was gonna be a nightmare. You don't see the competitive glare Heizou and Sara give each other.

As you are denied exit permission due to your lack of identification, Sara and Heizou step in to help you at the same time. After a few minutes of Sara and Heizou vouching for you as third-party authorizers, you hand over the fan.

That seemed to be enough proof for them to hand you a stack of papers to fill out. You moved the monstrous number of papers to a crate. Paperwork that you had to touch to read before filling out, what a joy.

"I'll be leaving first. The Shogun requires my presence for an important meeting. Shikanoin, I expect you to be at headquarters to finish all the new paperwork you earned after pulling the stunt you did. And Y/N please stay safe on your journey, may the creator guide you."

"Thank you, Sara, good luck at the meeting! Oh, and please tell the Arrataki Gang goodbye for me too!"

Serious as always, she nods her head before leaving. Heizou moves to stand beside you as you start tracing the words to become readable.

"Why are you touching the letters? You didn't recognize or read the words on the temple so how does touching it help?"

"To put it simply I can read the words easier after I touch them. But shouldn't you be on your way too? Don't think I've forgotten how beat up you are. Go see a professional before every medical building closes!"

"Man alive, are you trying to get rid of me so soon? Why I thought we bonded so well over our time together."

You know he's just playing and teasing but the answer you give is sincere.

"I did, I had a lot of fun. Despite how annoying you were at times, I really enjoyed playing around with all the questions and answers. But I would rather suffer through all this paperwork alone then let you stay with me as hurt as you are. So do us both a favor and see a doctor."

His eyes widen for a split second before settling into something calmer and sweeter. Have you truly bonded with him enough for him to let such a pure expression show?

"Since you were so honest with me, I'll go now."

You smile gratefully and are about to voice your goodbye before he pulls you close to him. You stand in a stupor as his chest presses against yours. His whisper is low and earnest.

"It was a pleasure to meet you Y/N. I eagerly await your next visit to Inazuma."

He releases you before walking away smoothly. Robotically you go back to the paperwork and fill it out. It's probably best to not take his words as anything deeper than friendly. Heizou has always been a flirty character, you were nothing special to him… right?

The stars are out by the time the paperwork is handed in and you have permission to leave. Not wanting to look at the identification card they gave you, you stuff it into your bag for later use.

The Alcor is huge, there is only one crew member awake on the deck and you climb the ramp to speak to him.

"Hello, my name is Y/N, this is the Alcor correct? Here is the fan I was told to show as my ticket." You give the fan to him as he stares at it tiredly.

"I never really expected someone to actually bring it at one point. You must be Lord Kamisato's guest of choice. Come in and enter the doors on the right. The voyage itself is 15 hours but taking into account other things, the trip will take a whole day. Go get some rest."

He gives you back the fan, and you nod in thanks. As you walk past him to the right side, a voice calls out to you from the docks. Curiously you go the railing and look down to see Yae there.

You frown in confusion at her appearance. She must have arrived after you put in the paperwork. Surely, she overhears what Heizou said. Even so, the sight of the sly kitsune makes you automatically stressed.

"Catch." Is your only warning before a small box is thrown towards you. Catching it swiftly, you open it to see a mask inside it. It's a gold accented fox mask specifically designed to only cover the top of your face. The shine and lack of marks make it clear how new and expensive it is.

"An apology for bringing up an uncomfortable subject to you in our conversation. The war has affected many people but it's those in your position that suffered in ways others have not. I hope that whenever you come back to Inazuma, you'll have a lighter heart."

You close the box and smile at her with gratitude. It's a perfect mask for that creeping feeling of dread. This is now the second mask you've obtained from stealing. This mask could have been something different for someone who actually suffered due to the war.

Silently you wave at Yae before she leaves without any other words. You watch her form disappear around a corner as whispers asking, "Where is Captain Beidou?" and "Did she drag Kazuha to drink with her again?" roll off you. You can deal with that later.

The walk to an empty room below the deck is a blur. Your few belongings are on the table as you lay on the bed. The Anemoboxer that you killed rises up in your mind like a tide.

They were kidnapping children, that should be enough justification for their death. You don't feel like arguing that point. You also don't feel like thinking on how you'll deal with any future Fatui members either.

Instead, you ponder about the sickle you used that was encased in electro. If you activate other Statues of the Seven, could you unlock other elements?

Those were the only thoughts you allowed yourself to think about as you gradually fell asleep.

Well this took a while. If anything I blame the fight scene and Heizou being flirty. I did use my decently built Heizou and fought that exact squad of Fatui. He defeated two before dying (it was raining) meaning the outcome of that fight isn't off. I'm experimenting with different yandere types and how the interact. I'm sure most people would write Thoma and Gorou acting nice and trying to one up each other by being kinder while keeping their rivarly secrect. But I thought it was funnier if they were outright hostile and were very bad at hiding it. In case anyone is wondering, I will not be writing full on smut. I'm not sure how far I'll take it in terms of stuff like making out but it'll probably never get past a kiss or two. Maybe I'll change my mind but never smut. I'm far too embarrassed for that.

I never realized just how many characters I had to write until I put the tags. I don't want to know how many words it is but it's 13k. Which is honestly pretty good, I was expecting like 15-16k. I'm very glad that I split the chapter. With Fontaine coming close and the trailer out, I'll probably spend more time playing to make up the primogems needed. Maybe more readers will join with the new hype or players will read less due to the new updates idk.

Taglist: @vvyeislazzy, @nikqi, @the-dumber-scaramouche, @etherisy, @yourlocalstranger123, @ra404, @iruiji, @goldenglow149, @haru-tofuu, @lsleepysimpl, @bebobeboben, @yuyuzi-ling, @amidst-the-tempest, @resident-cryptid, @mxd1zzy, @mochicurls21, @nervouseaglelover, @thedevioussmirk, @yumuramma, @kwqsla, @undecidingfate, @ehjane, @game-savvy, @akiramirae, @sielt, @fluffy-koalala, @formacoon, @sxftiebee, @khxii-i, @ursinaw, @chuuya-brainrot, @sweetbills, @kazuchaos, @snowfoxnix, @bluebelony, @conspicuous-mayonnaise, @pencil-of-ashes, @ghostlyintervention, @taiformaifo, @sielt

[kesujo]

Other Plans - Part 1 of 3

Continuation of 'The Ifs and Buts of a Relationship'. If you don't want their innocent image to be destroyed, I would recommend steering clear ;D

I woke up to the feeling of the warm sun beating down on my eyelids. Something soft was resting on my cheek. My pillow?

Unwilling to wake up, I tried to lift my arm to block the sunlight, but found it was trapped by Jessi's arm.

I opened my eyes to see the white ceiling, blocked by strands of caramel-brown hair. This made me realize that during the night, she had crawled on top of me.

The hair blocking my vision also made me realize that the soft thing resting on my cheek wasn't my pillow, but her hair. How could her hair be so soft, even after not showering yesterday?

I lifted my head as much as I could to look at the clock. But when I noticed how the clock was different than the one I had at home, I suddenly remembered: we went to a karaoke place to celebrate my birthday yesterday, and had fallen asleep in a bed they provided for us.

However, the displayed time of 10:34 drained away all sleepiness I had. Oh no, I already wasted so much time just sleeping. Where's my laptop..? and then a sinking feeling in my stomach told me that I left it at home. Great, I thought and audibly groaned.

Since my arms and legs were trapped by Jessi's bear hug, I pondered what I could do to try and wake her up. Then, the realization hit me; we fell asleep around 1:30 yesterday, which means she only has slept for about 9 hours. I cringed at what her reaction might be when she wakes up, but started coming up with ideas anyway.

After debating with myself for a couple of minutes, I finally settling on one, I turned over to her face and pecked her cheek. "Jessi~" I cooed softly.

She didn't budge. I tried again, except this time planting a kiss right next to her eye. "Jessi~" I called to her once again. She stirred and made some kind of a noise, but otherwise, fell back asleep.

I sighed, thinking for sure that doing that would work. I really didn't want to go to my final resort; but I was willing and prepared to deal with anything, as long as I could get home quickly.

I lifted my head a little and planted a kiss right behind her ear. "Mph," Jessi groaned, turning us over so that I was on top of her now. I tried to escape, but her grip remained as hard as steel. I can't believe I'm actually doing this again, I thought as I lowered my head a little and planted another kiss right behind her ear, following it up by nibbling on her earlobe lightly "Mm," her groan turned into a soft moan.

I had learned of her magic spot while we were still a couple in high school. Don't ask me how I learned it, I just did.

"You haven't done that in forever," I heard Jessi's husky morning voice tell me.

I was a bit surprised Jessi didn't just hit me and fall back asleep again, like she usually did. Then again, I had never used this technique to wake her up before. I rolled off her, but this only caused us to switch our positions again. "Well, I really need to get back home so--"

She pecked me, cutting my words short. Why was she suddenly kissing me so much? Yesterday too, at the restaurant ...

"I had already planned something for today, but it's not until around 12," she informed me.

I whined. "I can't just ditch my research now, I--" but was cut off as she captured my lips again, making it last longer than last time.

When she pulled back, I looked at her with a confused expression. "Why are you kissing me so much recently?"

She pouted, which made my heart melt, despite her messy hair and her tired eyes. "Why can't I?"

"Well, because--" I tried to explain, but couldn't actually find a reason. "Because ... most best friends don't kiss each other?"

She gave me a gentle smile. "Well, we aren't 'most people', are we?"

I sighed, anticipating this response. "Yeah, I guess," I admitted in defeat.

"Plus, I'm practicing for something," she continued. I cocked my eyebrows.

"For what? Did you audition for a play recently that I wasn't aware of?"

She shook her head. "I signed us up for a recording of a porno," she told me calmly.

I almost gagged on the air I was breathing in. "Wh-What?" I asked, brain spinning with shock. Did Jessi seriously just say "porno"? And she signed us up for it? And how could she be so calm about it?

"So since there obviously will be a lot of kissing involved, I want us to get used to each other again," she continued, still calm. Before I could barrage her with questions, she opened her mouth again. "Oh yeah, and we're filming it with someone experienced, so there's no need to worry about her."

My brain was still spinning. Did she honestly expect me to have sex with her and her friend in front of a camera, where the producers would most likely post the video on some website and ruin my reputation? I know it seems selfish, especially if Jessi really wanted to do this and was just good at hiding her love for me or something, but the information I just received clouded my mind.

I half expected her to say "gotcha!" or something, but after a moment of silence, I realized she wasn't going to. I opened my mouth to speak, brain throwing around a million questions to ask her. "So you're going to get used to kissing me, but not actually having sex with me?"

I mentally facepalmed. Why did I have to ask that? Of all the things--

"Oh, that's a good point," she said, releasing her grip on me to place a finger on her lips in a thinking fashion. Although most people did this for the purpose of being cute, Jessi actually naturally did this, which made it all the cuter. "We should practice, shouldn't we?"

As she was reaching for the hem of her shirt, I scooted back. "No no no, I didn't mean--" but I was cut off as she reached a hand for my pants. Somehow, she managed to strip off her shirt and pants in the time I had said six words. "Wait," I said, grabbing her wrist. "We aren't honestly going to do this, are we?"

She looked at me. "Well, you don't want to be underprepared when we arrive, do you?"

"I mean, we aren't honestly going to be going to this recording of a porno, right?"

She looked at me in a sort of disbelieving fashion. "Why would I lie? I never lie," she pouted.

It was true; she never did lie. To me, at any rate.

"But--" I stammered, confused beyond belief. Why would Jessi do this? Did she honestly fall in love with me? She could have just told me instead of signing us up for something like this.

She took advantage of my confusion and grabbed a hold of the rim of my pajama pants and pulled down, leaving me only in my boxers, and her in her underwear. "Hey--" but once again was cut off when she climbed on top of me. It's not like I haven't seen Jessi in only her underwear, or that we have never been together without much clothing; heck, we sometimes took baths and showers together. But something in her eyes made me shudder: a glimmering hint of mischievousness.

"Jessi," I whined, causing her to smile. Just like her aegyo always made me smile, mine always made her smile. But otherwise, I hated using it with other people. It just made me feel awkward.

"Yes?"

"Why did you sign us up for a recording of a porno again?" I finally managed to ask the question bugging me.

She sat on the space right below my groin. "Well, I found this website a week ago. On this website, you could share stories and read other people's stories," she explained. So this is why, in the past week, I sometimes found her focusing so hard on her computer screen sometimes. "And after reading some stories, I came across this story that contained a chapter of the characters having sex with each other." My face paled. I could see where this was going, but that's not why my face paled. The thought that came into my mind was so disturbing, I began praying to God that the one night where Jessi actually slept by herself wasn't because what I think it was. "So after reading that, I got really turned on and started searching for other smuts." Noticing my confused expression, she went on to explain. "Smuts are like stories or one-shots, which are basically short stories that last no more than one or two chapters, that contain sex." A mixture of an understanding and an even more disturbed expression came across my face.

Seeing my expression, Jessi giggled. "Your face is so cute right now," she cooed, completely breaking out of her serious explaining tone to rub her cheek on mine. I had flinched when she was lowering her face, thinking that she was going to kiss me again. Not that I didn't like her kisses, its just that right now, my innocent and pure image of Jessi was being destroyed right before my eyes. Or ears, I guess.

"Ok, so anyway," she went on, changing her tone in an instant. "So you know the one night a few days ago where I decided that I would sleep alone?" I nodded with eyes opened wide. Please, don't tell me she -- "I had done all my planning that night, including the sushi restaurant yesterday for dinner, karaoke yesterday night, and now the recording today. I figured you have been a virgin for too long, so I thought 'why not?' and signed us up," she said. I sighed a breath of relief. It wasn't what I thought it was, thank god.

She caught this and looked at me curiously. "What, did you think I was doing something else?"

I shook my head frantically, but still, she grinned. My stomach sank. "Did you think I was masturbating?"

I covered my face with my hands. I was unwilling to show my embarrassed face to her.

"Well, actually," she continued, causing my stomach to sink even further. Oh no ... she really did masturbate? "I did a little that night," she said, as if suddenly recalling. Seeing my pale face, she continued. "It was only so today wouldn't be my first time, because from the stories I read, the first time always hurt, and I didn't want to worry you with that."

Despite my completely destroyed image of her, I couldn't help but smile a bit. Even in a situation like that, she didn't stop thinking about others.

The moment was broken when she reached behind her back and undid her bra strap. "So are you ready?"

"No," I said, suddenly panicking as she threw her bra somewhere in the room and moved to removed her panties. Were we really going to have sex now? My best friend, whom I have known for about 20 years, and I were honestly going to do this right now?

"Why are you panicking so much?" she asked, looking down at me curiously after throwing her panties to join her bra.

"Well," I said, voice shaking. "I'm sorta about to get raped by my best friend--"

"Your hot best friend," she interrupted me, grinning. I felt something grab my arms, but I ignored it; I had to get an answer from her.

"Sure, hot best friend, someone I've known for the majority of my life. I mean, we aren't even a couple, and suddenly, we're about to have sex today. Who wouldn't be panicking?"

She rested her lower body on mine, supporting her upper body and her head with the arms, which were right next to my bare shoulders. "Me?"

The simple question suddenly created a question. "If you aren't in love with me, then how could she be so casual about this, as if this were normal?" I asked, accidentally speaking my mind.

Before I could hit myself for being so reckless, she answered. "Well, honestly, the smuts I have been reading made me realize how hot you actually are, and what it would be like to--"

"Ok, thanks," I cut her off, not wanting her to finish that sentence.

She grinned at me. "Aw, are you still shy about having sex with me?" she cooed, which was extremely strange because her cute voice saying the word "sex" completely threw off everything. "Well, its ok," she continued. "I'll make sure I get you horny enough," she said, once again smirking her mischievous smirk.

My eyes grew wide. Oh god, what was she going to do?

The whole conversation distracted me as I suddenly felt something cold attach itself to both my wrists. I looked up and was shocked to find that she had handcuffed my hands to the bedposts of the bed we were on.

She lowered herself onto me, pressing her breasts into my bare chest. I groaned, trying to wriggle out from under her, but to no avail. "And also," she breathed into my ear. "How do you know that I'm not in love with you?"

She didn't give me a chance to respond as she placed her mouth on my jaw, right under my left ear. The kiss sent electricity flying from that spot, causing my breath to quicken; it was my most sensitive spot, one that Jessi had discovered recently and always used to abuse me.

She nibbled the skin lightly, causing the electricity to intensify. "Jessi," I groaned, trying to bring my hands down to pull her off me. This did nothing except make a shackling sound, telling me that escaping from it was futile. I tried anyway, despite the small amount of pain I was beginning to feel from it.

"Jinnie, don't do that," she said in a worried tone, suddenly stopping and reaching her arms out to touch my wrists. However, this caused her body to stretch, causing her breasts to push more into me. I bit back another groan.

Her touch pacified my attempts of escape. When the shackling sound stopped, she looked back at me. "And by the way, this is your fault," she told me, moving her mouth right above mine.

"Wh--"

"You nibbling my ear this morning really turned me on," she whispered. Frick, really? "And you're the one who suggested this," she whispered, attaching her mouth to my jaw again.

"Jessi," I groaned. "Stop..." I said softly, straining to escape my handcuffs again, but only filling the room with the sound of shackles shaking.

She ignored me and let her hands explore my body, running her hand across my pecs and my chiseled abs. The sexy aura she was giving off, from both her actions and the general atmosphere caused me to shiver; needless to say, her plan was working out quite well.

"Hmm," she hummed, moving her mouth off my jaw and onto my lips again. As she ran her hands down my sides sensually, her tongue licked at my lips, begging for entrance, which I denied. I was still trying to get over the fact that Jessi was doing this in the first place. And even more that I didn't mind, and that I might even like it.

Realizing I wasn't going to give her entrance, she started to attack my lips, trying to force her tongue inside. Concentrating all my attention on keeping her out, I didn't even realize she was pulling off my boxers until her bare skin made contact with mine.

"Mph!" I said in surprise, diverting my attention a bit, which was all Jessi needed to plunge her tongue into my mouth. Since when did she learn to be such a good multitasker? I wondered as she battled me for access to my mouth while grinding my hips with hers, creating extremely pleasurable friction. I closed my eyes, overwhelmed by this feeling.

"Mmm," we both moaned into each other's mouths. My attempt to escape the handcuffs became more frantic. Despite doing two things at once, Jessi managed to win the fight and was now deepening the kiss, only to have to separate for air after a few seconds.

I looked up at her wearily as she propped herself with her arms, this time resting on my chest. She smiled down at me. "Turned on yet?"

I raised my eyebrows. Was she honestly asking me that? Before I could answer, she dove down once again, this time aiming for my neck. "Hey--" but I was cut off as Jessi nipped at the skin on my neck. "What--" I started again, but once again was cut off as she grabbed more of my skin with her lips and brushed her teeth on it. Then, she bit down.

"Mm!" I mumbled in surprise, pain pinching my skin. "What--"

"I learned that people usually do that in the smuts I read," she informed me after coming back up.

I rolled my eyes. "Because everything you read online is true, right?" She pouted. I grinned at her. "I'm just teasing. But won't it leave a mark?" Her only answer was a nod, followed by a teasing smile. I frowned, which only caused her smile to trickle down to her mouth, showing off her perfectly straight, blindingly white teeth.

She bent down slightly and started to grind me again, placing kisses all across my chest. I squirmed, having already stopped trying to escape the handcuffs as I realized it was pointless. "Jess, what are you doing?" I asked while struggling under her.

"Shh," she told me, bringing her hand to my chest and tracing my abs. I shivered at her touch. Something in my lower region started to hurt a little, but I was distracted as she brought her mouth down to it and replace her finger with her tongue, using it to trace my abs instead. My breathing started to quicken again. Suddenly, Jessi stopped and laughed lightly. "Your little friend is trying to greet my thigh," she told me, giggling.

"What--?" then I realized what she meant by 'little friend' as I realized what the pain in my lower region was. I tried to hide my blush, but my hands were cuffed to the bedposts.

She noticed this and lit up right away. "Awww, your blushing!" she cooed, completely breaking out of the sexy character.

"Shut up," I told her softly, trying to hide my face.

"It's so cute!" she told me, smiling brightly and kissed my cheeks.

"Mmm," I groaned, trying to avoid her lips, but to no avail.

After she was finally done, she got back up to look at me. "Ok, so I was thinking we could cover two things at once," she told me, turning her body around so her legs her facing me. "So you know what to do, right?" she asked, scooting down and parting her legs as she got closer to my face.

"Um...?" I tried to look at her but was blocked by the sight of a pink muscle that seemed to part away from a slit, the muscle glistening from something. It was producing so much heat that I could feel it, even though I was about six inches away from it.

She stopped moving. "Wait, you don't?" she asked like it was the strangest thing in the world.

"Should I?" I asked back.

"69?" she tried to hint to me. The number rang a bell: my friends in high school and college would always use the number whenever possible. So one time, confused, I asked them what it meant. Then, I remembered: it was a sex position which involved both partners facing opposite directions, stimulating each other simultaneously. So that meant that I had to-- "I guess I'll tell you what to do," Jessi said, taking my silence as confusion, scooting down so the pink muscle was barely an inch away from my lips. "Ok, so first, kiss it," she told me.

Tentatively, I closed the gap and placed my lips on the glistening pink muscle in front of me. "Ng!" she moaned, bucking her hips into my face, causing the glistening thing to cover my face, which I discovered was sticky and somewhat sweet. Surprised by this action, I tried to back away, but her legs had already trapped my head.

"Mph!" I exclaimed in surprise as she pushed my face into her with her legs, causing my face to meet the sticky liquid once again, my nose brushing a stub.

"Ng!" she moaned again, pushing my face into the pink muscle again.

"Jessi!" I yelled, or tried to as my voice was slightly muffled, as my lips tasted the sweet liquid again. However, this seemed to catch her attention.

"O-Oh, sorry," she panted, releasing her grip on my head. All the moaning had intensified the pain, which I hoped to God Jessi didn't notice. "O-Ok, and I also have to practice giving you blowjobs," she told me.

Wait--! I thought as I felt something warm and wet wrap around my dick. "Unf," I groaned as she began taking more and more of my shaft into her mouth.

"Heh, ru habe tu du shumhing tu," she said, mouth still full. Realizing what she just said was incomprehensible, she released her grip on my dick with an audible pop! before speaking again. "You have to do something too," she told me, using her legs to push my head towards her vagina.

I reluctantly met the muscle with my lips, causing her to shiver as she took my member into her mouth again. The pleasure from the suction Jessi was providing was extremely distracting though, which left me doing nothing except making a sort of making out motion with it, licking the slit and the semi-sweet liquid coating it. However, she seemed to be enjoying it as her moans constantly vibrated down my shaft, in turn causing me to moan.

She began to take more of my shaft, moving down a little, and then moving back up, all they while licking it continuously. I held back a moan, releasing the sudden burst of pleasure by randomly inserting my tongue into her slit.

She didn't hold back as she let out a throaty moan, using her legs to push my tongue in more, desperate for more contact. I complied and pressed my mouth as far as I could against her labia and stuck my tongue as far as I could. "Nng!" she moaned, thrusting into my tongue. I tried to follow her thrust, but my tongue felt trapped in between some kind of walls inside. So instead of thrusting, I started to move it side to side, exploring anything I could. "Nnn..." she moaned once again before taking the whole of my shaft into her mouth. I was glad I had shaved my pubic hair, as she also took my balls into her mouth. I heard her gag a bit, but I was too distracted to what I was doing pay much attention to that, other than the fact that the immense amount of pleasure I was receiving from it occasionally caused me to send vibrations down into Jessi, causing her to squirm a bit more.

Before long, I started to feel pleasurable pressure build up near my stomach area that continued to build up as Jessi continued her menstruations. Feeling a rush of something, I increased my pace, desperate for the pressure to build up. We had both begun to sweat, the salty-ness of the sweat mixing in with the sweetness of Jessi's liquid. As I continued though, the muscles surrounding my tongue tightened even more, but this proved no problem to the rush of adrenaline/hormones I was experiencing right now.

The pressure started to become overwhelming, so overwhelming that I started to fight against the handcuffs again in a desire to push Jessi's head deeper onto my dick. Instead, I bucked up into her face, forcing her to gag a little. "Jessi..." I moaned again, once again sending vibrations inside Jessi. She squirmed even more, once again thrusting into my face, which was already sticky with the liquid pouring out of her slit.

"Nnngg, Jiinnnniiieee" she let out a drawn out moan, sending vibrations down my shaft. In response to the pleasure, I thrusted upwards into her mouth, desperate for more. The pace of her moving on my shaft also quickened, tongue frantically licking, flicking, and wrapping itself around my dick.

I continued to thrust, the pressure clouding all judgment, including the concern that I might be hurting her. "Hnn," I moaned again, not able to speak much as my brain had basically shut down at this point. "Hnn..." the pressure was reaching a climax. "HNnn ..." I felt the pressure become overwhelming. "HN ... "HN!" I thrusted one final time before releasing all the pressure that had built up in my stomach.

The release caused me to suddenly feel tired, which slowed down my thrusting into Jessi, but she took care of that as I could feel her coming to the same climax from her growingly louder and constant moans and quicker and harder thrusts. "Jinnie..." she moaned, mouth already off my dick. "Jin--Jin--JINNIE!" she screamed her high-pitched dolphin scream as a huge rush of the sticky liquid. Since my mouth was already situated at only exit, the liquid squirted into my mouth, some dribbling off my lips as I attempted to swallow it.

As I licked the last drops off my face, she turned herself around to face me again before resting her head on my chest. "Are we ready yet?" I asked her, exhausted.

"No, one more thing," she told me. "I just want to rest for now."

I remained passive at this news; I had initially thought that having sex with her would lead to awkwardness between us, but that clearly didn't happen.

After a minute or so, she reached for the cabinet next to the bed and reached for the top drawer, pulling out a key. She once again stretched against my body to reach the handcuffs, drawing a soft moan out of me.

Unfortunately, she heard this and stopped. "I should make sure you won't just run away huh," she said, almost to herself as she retreated her hand. Frick. Stupid mouth, I cursed my mouth as she placed the key on top of the cabinet.

"And how are you going to--Unf!" I was cut off as she had wrapped her silky legs around mine and started to hump me. "Jess," I moaned, starting to feel my breath quicken yet again. She placed her lips on my jawline again and started to nip at every inch of skin she could find. "Mmm," I hummed with pleasure, allowing my head to fully rest on the pillow as I closed my eyes. Before long, my little friend began to poke Jessi again.

She stopped when she felt it and reached for the key, but not before giving a sly grin to me. I groaned and facepalmed with the pillow. How could she still be so playful?

"Ok, aand," she said, straining against my body once again as she fumbled with the key and the handcuff. I bit my lips, holding back a moan. "Darn it," I heard her mumble as I heard the keys being dropped. She stretched even more to reach it, pressing her breasts more into my bare chest. I bit down harder, drawing a little bit of blood from my lips. "Ok, I got it," she mumbled to herself, raising herself again. But as soon as she grabbed the bedpost, her hand slipped, causing her to fall back down on the bed.

"Ng..." I moaned, unable to hold it back. "Jess, you're doing this on purpose," I accused her.

"No, why would I do that on purpose?" she asked innocently, but her shaking body said something else. Usually, when Jessi was suppressing his laugh, it usually was transferred into her body.

"Yah, you did that on purpose!" I told her, but was silenced when she humped me again, since her legs where still interlocked with mine.

"I won't unlock the handcuffs if you keep on complaining," she told me. I had already heard the key go in, but she had yet to turn it.

"What?" I whined, pulling against the handcuffs again, but was humped yet again by Jessi.

"I said shh," she told me, turning the key. As soon as she let my hands free, she caught them with her hands and pinned me to the bed. Then, she turned to look at me. "Now, are you going to do what I tell you to?" she asked me. I looked at her wearily, but after a few seconds of silence, I yelped as she humped me again.

"Ok ok," I said, submitting. I was the guy; why did she have so much power over me? I easily answered myself: I was extremely sensitive to this type of stimulation, which Jessi always abused to get what she wanted.

She smiled, releasing her grip on my hands and flipping us around, so I was on top now. "Ok, so I'm going to explain everything first, and then you do it, ok?" I nodded. "Ok, so first you place your mouth on my breast, doesn't matter which one, and start licking slash nipping slash whatever. Meanwhile, you use your finger to insert it into my pussy," she explained, still using a calm voice, despite the harsh language. Which I found amazing, to be honest.

I started to move down, but was stopped when Jessi touched my head lightly. "Oh yeah, and you don't want to be too quick about putting your finger into my pussy," she explained. "It makes it more exciting for me or something, I think," she told me.

Keeping the strange bit of info in mind, I moved down until I was level with her chest. I moved my right hand down and lowered my head, taking her right breast into my mouth. "Hn" she moaned when my lips touched her skin. I started to lick the smooth skin, running over a stub of some kind.

Apparently, this was a sensitive spot, as when I did, she moaned loudly and bucked her chest up. Unprepared for this, more of her breast entered my mouth, causing the nub, probably her nipple, to brush my tongue again. "Nn," she moaned, pushing my head down onto her breast, desperate for more. I had no choice but to accept it, breathing only from a small opening from my nose.

Meanwhile, my hands were occupied on Jessi's legs. I had remembered what she had said, and placed my hand on the inside of her thighs, a few inches away from her pussy. I had forgotten about it until she had pushed my head into her breast; realizing just putting it there wasn't achieving anything, I moved it a bit closer. I heard her gasp softly. I grinned in satisfaction and began to rub the spot where my hand stopped.

"Ung, Jinnie," she moaned, trying to maneuver herself down onto my fingers. I had already anticipated this and used my left hand and right leg to trap her hips, making sure she wouldn't be able to move. I moved my finger a little closer, continuing to rub her skin. "Hng," she moaned again, trying once again to buck into my fingers, but failing.

I flicked her nipple with my tongue a few times, earning a few more moans and another push downwards. Afterwards, I found a suitable pattern: lick, lick, swirl, lick, swirl, swirl, suck, swirl. I heard her breathing starting to quicken yet again.

I slowly inched my hand upward, starting to trace small circles inside her thigh along the way. As I got further up, I started to encounter more and more of the sticky liquid.

I stopped right before I reached her pussy lips. When I got here, I drew a line right outside the edge of the pink muscle. "Ng! Jinnie!" she moaned, bucking downwards again, but failing again. "Fuck..." she moaned, trying to close her legs, but was blocked by my own legs. "W-Why did I t-tell you to do this..." she said in short, ragged breaths. I responded by giving her nipple a light bite. "Un!" she screamed in pleasure, both bucking up and pushing my head down.

Deciding I had teased her enough, I put two of my fingers on her pussy lips, tracing the outline of the sopping wet muscle. She moaned, once again bucking, but once again being held in place. I switched breasts, placing my mouth on her left one.

While I was tracing the slit, I had brushed a nub, causing her to violently buck into my fingers, this time achieving what she had been trying to achieve for the last few minutes. "Hng," she moaned as I pushed my fingers into her, leaving only my knuckles outside of her.

Figuring I might as well continue, I started to push my fingers in and pull them back out. As I continued to pump, I felt the tight walls accommodate for the space my two fingers took. My thumb found itself resting on the nub, while my ring finger, being pressed into the outside of her pussy, almost accidently slipped in. The two events simultaneously happening caused her to let out a loud moan, bucking fiercely into my fingers, allowing my ring finger to easily go in, despite how tight she was.

While lightly biting her nipple yet again, I started to draw circles around the nub. "JINNIE!" she screamed, shaking as a torrent of sticky fluid rushing past my fingers and onto my hand, staining the bed a little.

When she finally calmed down, I released her breast and traveled down, licking up the fluid, and then pulling my fingers out, eliciting a groan from Jessi, licking the cum off my digits. When I was done, I crawled up and plopped myself next to her. "Are you sure you haven't done this before?" she asked in between breaths.

I looked at her. "Yeah, why?"

She turned her head to me, but started giggling when she saw me. I cocked my head to the side, curious as to what she was laughing to. "You have something on your lips," she explained, leaning forward and capturing them, licking my lips a little before pulling away. "There we go," she said happily.

I looked at the clock: 11:01. We had been doing this for about half an hour? "How long does it take to get there?"

"About 15 minutes from here by car," she said. Before I could tell her we didn't have a car, she said, "And about an hour minutes walking."

"Well if we want to be in time, we probably should go now."

She looked at the clock, then got up quickly. "Yeah, we should," she said hurriedly, putting on her clothes, including the dress she wore here.

I put on my clothes and waited by the door while she checked herself in the mirror, making sure her bed hair wasn't too crazy. "Ok, let's go," she said, grabbing my hand and leading me out the door. I had noticed she was carrying her heels in her other hand. Before I could ask, Jessi noticed this and explained, "Oh, this is so we can walk without the risk of me falling or something. I mean, you know how bad I am with walking in heels," she said.

I smiled and nodded; yesterday, just on the ten minute walk here, she almost fell about eleven times. I remember her panicking because there was a sudden lack of support, but luckily, each time, she was able to recover by holding onto me.

So after about an hour of walking and running, and me giving Jessi a piggyback while she relieved her sore feet, we had arrived at a rather ordinary looking building. It looked like just any other building: tall, lined with windows following a specific pattern all the way up to at least 20 floors, made of brown brick, and had a single door. The door lead to a flight of stairs, hallways on the right and left leading to more rooms. "Third floor, 3004" she told me. We sprinted up the stairs, Jessi not on my back anymore, turned left when we arrived at the floor, and arrived at the door labeled, with a golden plate above it, "3004".

Jessi stepped forward and knocked on the door.

Part 2 here.

[tvmkavlitzbby]

"All for me"

TW: nsfw, AFAB reader, she/her pronouns, switch reader, switch Bill p in v, unprotected sex, blowjob, rough sex, breeding kink, dirty talk, hickeys, alcohol, aftercare, reader is in the band

Word count: 1.4k

synopsis: You and Bill had always been best friends, the fear of ruining your relationship always making you deny your feelings for each other, but seeing him dance with a girl at a party made you want to get him jealous.

You and Bill had been best friends since forever, you two meet at kindergarten and since then you've been inseparable.

You were there every time he argued with his brother, You were there when he participated in the music show and comforted him when he didn't win, you were there when he asked you to join "Black Question Mark", which then became "Devilish" to finally become "Tokio Hotel", he was firm on his decision, telling you how important you were in the band and how it wasn’t complete without your singing.

You two had always been a crucial part of each other's life, and you couldn't imagine being apart.

And maybe that's what caused you two to completely shut down every little romantic feeling you had for the other, afraid it would put at risk your relationship.

Tonight you had a big party after the concert, it was the last date of your tour and a lot of people were invited, mostly friends and some lucky fans, the place was surely overcrowded with drunk people who danced all over each other, and it wasn't any different for you, you didn't even remember how many drinks you had, and you were just happily dancing with Georg until your eyes laid on Bill, who was now dancing with a girl who was throwing herself all over him.

As much as you wanted to shake away the feeling, you couldn't help but feel a wave of anger and jealousy wash all over you as you saw his hands on her hips.

"Georg, come here!" you shouted over the music, pulling the boy close to you, putting your hands on his chest and continuing dancing, ignoring his confused look that then became a playful one as he noticed who you were looking at.

"Trying to get him jealous y/n?" he asked, pointing to Bill.

"No! Why would I?" you asked with a bit of uncertainty, not resisting the urge to look at Bill, who was now looking at you two.

"Yeah, yeah, sure, whatever you say" Georg responded while he kept dancing with you.

Just some seconds had passed until you felt someone grab you by your shoulder and pulling you away, recognizing Bill.

"Y/n we have to go, someone wants to… uhm... talk to us… yeah" 

I ignored the way Georg lifted his eyebrow, nodding at Bill.

"Guess you have to go then, have fun and use protection" Georg screamed, to which I responded with a middle finger while being dragged away by my wrist by Bill.

"Bill, where are we going? Who wants to talk to-"

You stopped talking as you felt lips on yours as soon as you two got out from the building, widening your eyes as you realized that Bill was kissing you.

You couldn't really process what was happening, but you felt the need to kiss him too, so after the initial shock, you started to kiss him, convincing yourself to blame it on the alcohol.

The kiss soon became heated, Bill placed his hands on your waist, and you put yours between his spiky hair, while your tongues danced together.

When Bill detached from the kiss, he started to kiss your neck slowly, pressing his body against yours.

"Fuck… y/n..." he whispered

"Bill, we're in public..." you whispered, head thrown to the side to let him kiss you.

You heard him sigh and grab your wrist again, dragging you to his car.

Once you two were in he reclined the passenger seat, positioning himself in it and patted his thigh gently.

As soon as you climbed on top of him, you felt his lips on your neck, kissing it and biting it, leaving marks behind.

It was a strange sensation being on his lap like this, you've always been best friends, and you never thought something like this would happen, but now the desire was too strong to stop.

"You were trying to make me jealous with Georg, uh?" he whispered in your ear.

What a nerve you thought.

"Me? You had that girl all over you" you then a hand through his hair, tugging them a bit to make him look at you.

You kissed him passionately, your intentions to keep your relationship as friends long forgotten, because deep down you knew that that's what you always wanted, to know what his lips felt like, to have him all for yourself.

You felt his hand travel to your back, unzipping your dress, that he impatiently slipped down and removed completely, leaving you in only your underwear.

"Look at you... not even wearing a bra" he whispered, lips pressing on your left breast while he cupped the right one with his hand, massaging it slightly.

You soon grew tired of the teasing, needing more from him, so you slipped from his grasp, crawling in the space in front of the seat, between his legs, and started to undo his belt.

Once the pants and the boxer were off, you grabbed his cock with your hand to then give kitten lips to the tip, watching how Bill closed his eyes to savor the moment.

"Look at me, bill" you said firmly, waiting for him to open his eyes to continue.

Once he did, you took his length in your mouth, slowly bobbing your head on it, helping yourself with your hand to the part you couldn't reach and tracing the veins with your tongue, never breaking eye contact.

"Fuck..." he moaned slightly, his whispers making you fasten your pace.

"I want to fuck you, y/n, right now... please..." he whispered, almost as a plea, how could you not give it to him when he sounded so damn desperate?

He took off his shirt, and you positioned yourself back on his lap, after taking off your panties, you then positioned his cock to your entrance and slowly lowered yourself on it, both of you moaning loudly.

"Fuck Billy, you're so big..." you leaned closer to his ear, biting it slightly while you started to move on top of him.

You began to ride him slowly to tease him, ignoring his pleas to go faster, to give him more.

The last thing you expected was for Bill to grab your hips firmly, and starting to pound in you fiercely, making you grip his shoulders for support.

"I'm tired of your teasing" he said with his teeth closed, listening to you moaning his name.

"Bill, fuck... right there!" you almost screamed as he hit your cervix, your nails scratching his back.

You didn't know if someone could see you, but you didn't care, too lost in the feeling, too lost in his touch.

You felt your orgasm close, clenching around him, which made him moan and place a finger on your clit, massaging it.

"Are you going to cum for me, baby? Cum on your best friends' dick?" he continued to push in you, without slowing the pace, you nodded and managed to talk between your moans.

"Yes, yes I'm going to cum on your-oh fuck" but you couldn't finish the phrase because a wave of pleasure washed all over your body, making you cum and tremble.

It wasn’t long before Bill also came in you with a long moan, while you tried to come back from your orgasm.

"Y/n, are you ok?" you heard, his hand brushing your hair out of your face softly, as you nodded tiredly.

"Yes... fuck Billy..." you wrapped your arms around him, hugging him close to you and placing your head on his shoulder.

"That was... amazing" he replied, leaving a sweet kiss on your head.

"Let's go home, shall we?"

You just nodded at his question and let him help you to clean up and dress back up, just enough to get home.

Once you were home, he brought you inside and you two decided to take a bath together.

"Wait here, I'll get everything ready" after that he disappeared in the bathroom, returning a while later, taking your hand and leading you to the bathroom in which you stripped and got in the bathtub with him, placing yourself between his legs, chest to back.

A comfortable silence fell between you two as you enjoyed the warm water and each other touch.

It was interrupted a while later, when Bill whispered in your ear.

"Be mine y/n, please" you couldn't help but smile, turning to face him and placing your hands on his cheeks.

"I'm already yours Bill, I've always had"

[repulsive-manwhore]

THE 10 BEST VIOLENT JAMES DEEN PORN SCENES (in my opinion)

when it comes to male porn actors, there's none i look up to or attempt to mimic more in the bedroom than James Deen. he is simply porn's "golden boy." the way he talks, acts, carries himself, and (of course) fucks in every rough scene he stars in is what i aspire to be. picking only 10 of his craziest documented sexual endeavors was difficult, but i think i've got a good list here. so without further ado, here it is, the 10 best JD scenes, in my humble opinion. go on, google is free, have some fun while you read. ❤️

Whore Wife (Cherry Torn, Kink™) - classic gangbang scene which is conveniently also where my header image is from.

Extreme Anal Queen (Adriana Chechik, ANALIZED.COM™) - rough bathroom anal scene. doggy over the sink is my favorite part. there's also a toilet involved. nasty stuff.

Pornoromance (Lia Lor, James Deen Productions™) - this scene has it all. any scene fully produced/released by the man himself is a good choice, this one is a cut above though.

Pornstar Punishment (Ashli Orion, Brazzers™) - schoolgirl scene. you'll notice there's a "fuckpig" element in most or all of these but this one especially, so much at times that some versions cut out some of the facial play/humiliation. i guess Brazzers wasn't rocking with it lol. if you can find one with the full footage, save that shit for real, cuz i ain't giving you it lmao.

Ravished By The Wrong Man (Lia Lor, Kink™) - second entry in this list with Lia Lor, this time with bondage. if that's your thing, then just like the last one, this too has it all. ropes, ball gags, i think a taser gets pulled out at some point? yeah.

BANG! Casting (Yhivi, BANG!™) - god, where do i even begin? the best chemistry on this list. Yhivi is absolutely adorable and she's having the time of her life in this scene getting used like a ragdoll. just violence, a couch and smiles. my personal fav.

Casey Calvert: Show Me Rough (ANALIZED.COM) - shifting over to the reality aspect now, from staged scenes and radical angles to camcorder vlogs and single recording positions. still hot as fuck. starts out with a great convo, then goes 0 to 100 seemingly almost out of nowhere.

James Deen's 7 Sins: WRATH (Carmen Caliente, Carmen Callaway, Dani Daniels, Delilah Davis, Janice Griffith, Jessica Ryan, Sadie Santana, Shay Ryan, Trinity St. Clair, Vyxen Steel) - i mean, i think the title and the cast list explains enough.

The Slutmother (Kelly Divine, Brazzers™) - another classic scene from the days of old. Deen really laid the hammer down with the face slapping in this one, which is funny bc it's a Godfather parody. don't know why he went so hard for something so comedic, but i love it.

BANG! Casting (Abella Danger, BANG!™) - struggled with this last slot but had to throw in another casting couch banger. this one is a doozy. i like the Yhivi one more because she's much more submissive/less aggressive than Abella is here but i mean jesus, this bitch gets trashed and thrashed in this one. there's a part where he chucks her into the wall and i laughed the first time i watched it. nasty, just nasty.

HOPE Y'ALL GET A KICK OUT OF THIS ONE YOU SICK FUCKS. ENJOY.

[chaostudee]

prologue. the things you do for the ones you love

summary : when you were asked to be your sisters maid of honour you never expected to fall in love with the best man. warnings : nothing ig? words : 1.5k a/n : this is my first series on here and i'm really excited to share it with you guys!!

it was just as you had left it. the blue shutters on the windows registered their bright brilliant hue and the unchanged silk curtains billowed in the soft morning breeze. the same abstract ornament sat on the steps leading to the front door and even now you were uncertain of its name let alone what it represented. your parents still owned the very much identical vehicles to the one you had as a child.

that thought was comforting. that nothing had changed. although when you were brought back to reality of it all everything was going to change. and it was inviteable.

"y/n!" called a voice that you had missed. your sister emily descended the steps with a fast pace that you were in fear of her falling.

"hi" you say letting out an exhale as you speak. emily smiles at your newfound presence in the drive of your childhood home.

there was an awkward moment when both of you were unsure of what to say or do next but then you felt her arms pull you close into an embrace. your arms snaked up her back to the same position where she held hers on your own. taking a deep breath in you notice something, that scent, the identical one that she used to wear all throughout high school.

you could've stayed like that forever but in remembering why you were here you pulled back and dragged her left arm forward to meet your gaze.

it shone and sparkled in the sun and just by that you knew that your future brother in law would be bringing some prosperity into the family.

"i mean....wow. it's gorgeous". emily shies away and pulls back her hand to her own control.

"you think so? i don't know maybe it's a bit flashy but you know a girl can't be picky". she admires the ring for a moment as though she has never seen it until now and this action makes you chuckle. sarcasm was something that emily had acquired from a young age right after she had begun to watch friends. your mother, throughout her teenage years had to witness the endless puns and jokes although after a long day her words were sometimes mood lifting.

"i missed that laugh"emily admits and this makes your heart warm.

"i missed you". and it was true, you had missed her. at first you were reluctant in coming back because your last visit had been over a year ago and even then it wasn't a joyous occasion with your father's degrading comments. your father hadn't always been so supportive when you had informed of your aspiration to study fashion. you guessed that was another reason that your sister desired your presence, or that you hoped.

"so....how's life? well i mean besides getting engaged and all. how is everyone?". emily nods as she takes a look down at her stained converse, whist tucking a strand of her brunette hair behind her ear.

"i mean mum is good. me and daniel have been staying here for the past weeks and yeah i mean she seems to be doing fine but i think she misses dad.".

you don't try to hide your annoyance with this. you noticeably roll your eyes remembering the countless work trips he would take that would leave your mother to her lonesome. those times you would aspire to be on your best behavior because you could see the bags under your mother's eyes from just a few hours spent with her daughters. it hurt you that your father was still pulling the same old stunts.

"he's still working?"you ask because most people at his age would be either sitting in a retirement home or perhaps on the golf course without a care in the world. your father had never been most people.

work had always come first for him. and you couldn't even understand why. maybe someday you would understand but you would never put your occupation before family.

"i ask myself the same question all the time."

"tell me about daniel".

you hadn't heard much about your sister's apparent "love of her life" according to your mother. the way you mum spoke of him made you wonder if it was possible that she loved him more than emily.

"he's great, perfect. i think he would be just your type" emily says with a straight face.

a rush of nostalgia hits you having heard those words countless times when there was a new prospect of a boyfriend. although they never seemed to last, for you anyways. emily always set you up with guys she knew or a friend of a friend and maybe if you had tried you wouldn't be single at 30 but here we are.

"are you seriously setting me up with your fiance?"

"now who said anything about setting you up?" emily gives a tight lipped smile, "just a suggestion".

"yeah but in all seriousness, he is a great guy and i'm lucky to have him". she looks down at her converse once again as she speaks and with her hair covering her face you can't tell whether her cheeks are flushed but you presumed so.

"who knew you were all soppy?".

at this emily raises her head and silently gasps and then remains with her mouth agape as if she was going to answer back.

with a blunt "shut up" she rolled her eyes but you could tell that you were right. you had always been the hopeless romantic but it looked like you had swapped. you now were not too keen on a serious relationship, not anytime soon anyway. in your opinion relationships just added to the weight that you had to carry around everyday, the worries.

"so where is daniel now?".

"him and mum are out shopping. those two are attached to the hip most of the time. weird right?"

"haha yeah weird"

"you'll meet him tonight."

"tonight?"

"yeah...tonight, you know?". jazz hands. "tooonight".

"what's tonight?

"my engagement party"

"oh shit yeah sorry. oh congratulations by the way".

"who knew you were funny?"

"i did"

"c'mon let's go inside i want to show you what i did to your room."

"about tonight....i didn't really bring-"

"i have a dress"

:::

your room was just how you had left it. the same vanity with pictures of your friends from highschool, clothes strewn across the floor and your posters on the walls. it was like you had never left.

you smile as you lift up a picture of you and emily at the beach a few years back. your smiles were wide and you both had your arms around one another. back then you didn't have a care in the world, but now you couldn't say the same.

emily comes bursting into your room with a bundle of dresses in her arms. once she sets them down on the bed she comes over and tuts when she spots the photo in your hand.

"i remember that day, we were so happy, dad had just got promoted and him and mum were over the moon-"

"we had never seen them so happy" you say interrupting her.

grabbing the picture from your grasp emily pulls you from your past.

taking you by the shoulders she says "no getting sad".

you nod giving her a small smile. she gives her own nod of approval before gesturing to the dresses she brought in.

"take your pick".

you raise your eyebrows when you pick up a dress that could hardly count as a dress.

"really?"

"what?! it's all the rage in paris right now".

you poke her in the ribs which makes her squeal.

"girl we gotta get you a man" emily states as she starts looking through the clothes herself.

"and this is the way to do it?".

"sure!".

you scoff but before you begin to throw another comment you spot something that catches your eye. the material is sparkly and glittery just like a disco ball.

"this one" you confirm.

emily turns around and gasps when she sees what you have chosen.

"perfect, who knew you had taste y/n?".

"um clearly not you"

"haha. anyways back to the boy thing".

you groan at the subject. dating had been a tough subject for you as of late. it had been less than a year since you had broken off with your toxic ex. you still held trauma from him and your sister knew this but she took this as a reason to get out more.

"i bet soms of daniels friends are single" she says, pondering as she tries to recall.

"oh actually he said that one of his friends was recently divorced.....".

"ems im not going to date a 40 year old".

she laughs at my comment. like really laughs.

"he's our age silly".

"oh".

"daniel says he hasn't been with anyone since the breakup.....just like you".

"your point?"

"you'd be a good match".

"ugh whatever."

there's a silence.

"wait what's his name?"

"oh um bu- barnes or something i dont know?".

your eyes widen. it couldn't be could it? your eyes falter to one of the pictures on the wall. you in the middle beside you neil, marrissa and....james. james barnes.

[evieismol]

Big Bend - Chapter Six - Bonfire

Cw: cursing, discussion/mention of guns/nuclear bombs, mention of effects of radiation poisoning (non graphic)

Word count: ~2200

Previous

.

.

.

It felt like it had been a ridiculously long day. Or more, two days, at least on Earth. Yesterday had been my official “introduction” to the public. It had gone mostly smoothly. There'd been a few awkward questions, but John had been quick to jump in to diffuse them. That was until Joy had shown up again. I had hoped after my first run in with her that future meetings would be scarce. 

So much for that. 

Tonight, meanwhile, there was an employee bonfire. While it was hosted by the park service, invitations had extended to hospitality employees as well. 

I wonder if Zoey will be there. 

I'd only spoken to the human twice so far, and yet I had found my mind wandering back to her on more than one occasion. I wasn't entirely sure why. 

It was probably just that she was one of the few humans, aside from John, who didn't seem outwardly anxious around me from the get go, I reasoned. That was all. I pushed the thought from my mind at the same time I pushed myself up into a sitting position from my bed. It was almost six, which meant I'd have time to dinner a quick dinner before John would want to head to the bonfire at seven. 

I stood up, and set about preparing a simple pasta dish. I was almost finished with it when I heard a door softly open. I looked over my shoulder. John stood on a platform across the room, in front of a door. The door and platform were both parts of his apartment, a small - by my standards - set up that was built into the back wall of my trailer. Both had been built in Aphiria and transported here, though the inner workings of the apartment had been fine tuned by humans, given their much smaller size. 

“Hey. Just coming to see if you were going to be ready for the bonfire in a bit,” John said. 

“Yeah! I was just going to make some food-though, uh, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not really hungry right now. I guess I can save it for later.” That was a lie. I looked back at the pasta wistfully. 

John hesitated for a moment before replying. “You sure?” 

I nodded quickly. “Yep.” 

I hoped he hadn't noticed my tendency to not eat around humans. Given that pretty much the last thing I wanted to do was scare them - more than I already generally was - watching them catch a glimpse of the fangs I had been trying so hard to keep out of sight, or realize that a single bite I was taking was larger than them, putting off eating was by far the preferable choice. John seemed to be unperturbed by my size, so far, but I didn't want to see just how far that extended. I didn't want to meet his gaze to see fear shining back at me. Fear of me. 

“Yep,” I repeated. Before he could protest, I set about putting the pasta in the fridge, asking about how he thought the press conference had gone while I was at it. 

“As we expected,” John replied. “You did a great job, by the way. I can see why you were recommended by Aphiria.” 

Nepotism? I thought. 

“Thanks,” I said. “I was pretty nervous.” That was both true, and probably an understatement. My heart had felt like it was racing a million miles an hour before, during, and after the press conference. 

“You didn't seem it,” John said. We chatted about how things had been going for a few more minutes, before John glanced at his watch. 

“Well, we should probably get going.” 

I lowered my hand to the table. “Ready whenever you are.” 

John climbed on it. His weight was light on my palm, a strange sensation. Especially knowing it was the weight of an entire person. I raised my hand up, feeling like I could never be quite careful enough while holding humans. 

Another action I felt like I could never be quite careful enough with was sitting down, something I was shortly reminded of when we reached the location of the bonfire. Even after checking the ground half a dozen times, I still felt a flare of panic that I would accidentally crush something - or god forbid, someone - as I sat down. Of course, that didn't happen. I settled in a more comfortable position before leaning forward to set John down. A few people had already arrived, including Gus, an older park ranger with a bushy white beard. He was the first to approach us and begin making small talk. I was thankful for that - even being the center of attention in recent days, I could shake off my perpetual feelings of awkwardness. More people slowly arrived as the sun dipped lower behind the horizon. I kept my eyes open for one person in particular, trying to ignore the growing feelings of disappointment when I didn't see her. When it was almost dark, the bonfire was lit. As I continued to talk with people - mostly about how I was adjusting to earth - I found myself scanning the small crowd for any sign of Zoey. 

Still no sign of her. 

I probably shouldn't have been expecting her to be there - while hospitality employees were invited, it wasn't mandatory. For all I knew, she was working at the moment. Or it was her day off and she wasn't even in the park. Hell, she could have been visiting family on the other side of the country. I didn't really know anything about her life, after all. 

Just when I'd pretty much resigned myself to her not coming to the bonfire, movement back by the employee dorms caught my attention. It didn't take long to recognize the four figures. Zoey, Dave, Angie, and Penelope were making their way towards the bonfire.

I had to force myself to not break into a smile. Penelope gave a big wave as she walked up. I returned the greeting, albeit less dramatically. While she walked right up to me and Annie, one of the hospitality supervisors that I had been talking to, Dave, Angie, and Zoey lingered further back. 

“Hi Easton! My mom loved the photo!” Penelope said. 

“I'm glad!” I said. My gaze wandered over to where Zoey was standing, and I once again found myself wondering why I couldn’t get the small, dark haired human off my mind. She looked over from her conversation with Angie and Dave abruptly, meeting my eyes. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, you're staring. Don't stare. It's too late. Should I smile? Would that be weird? I'm already being weird. Fuck, I'm always being weird. Is it too late to get a brain transplant? 

Yeah, I was never good at the whole cool and collected thing. 

I landed on abruptly looking down, which was thankfully, towards Penelope. She followed my gaze back to the others. 

“Oh, yeah, I don't know why they're not coming over, when we all arrived together. I mean, the point of the bonfire is basically to get to know you. Hold on. Dave! Angie! Zoey!” 

I was fairly certain of why at least one of them wasn't coming over. The tension between Dave and I had not dissipated over the shift we worked together, and he had still seemed ready to run for the hills at the drop of the hat the couple times I'd seen him since. Not that I could fault him for that - if anything, I just felt guilty. Both about the fact that my presence was scaring him to start with and that I hadn't been successful in putting him more at ease. 

Angie and Zoey, most likely, then, were just supporting their friend. 

“Really, it's fine. They look like they're busy-” I said. 

“Guys! Come say hi!” Penelope cut me off.  

The trio was already walking over. Dave trailed a few steps behind Zoey and Angie. 

I'm sorry, I thought, wishing I could somehow project my thoughts to him.  

“Y'know, Zoey used to work with a giant, but like, a smaller one,” Penelope said as the three stopped next to her. 

Is she doing this on purpose? 

No. Of course not - I mean, why would she? 

“Yeah. Um, she was a tyastron. So, like, not nearly as tall as you,” Zoey said. “But still one of the species us humans call giants. I guess that's really a matter of perspective, though, cus you're probably not giant to other Aphirials, and we're the tiny ones to you guys.” 

I let out a short laugh. “Yeah, you're right. And I'm actually pretty short on Aphiria.” 

“Ironic,” Angie mused. She paused. “You were a park ranger in Aphiria too, right? What was that like?” 

“Somehow really similar and totally different,” I said. “I was in a pretty similar role, kind of our version of an interpretive ranger. Specializing in botany. I don't think I'd really been cut out for law enforcement.” I realized I was rambling a bit, but it was pretty much impossible not too when my mind felt like it was racing a million miles an hour. One group of thoughts kept continuously showing up: 

Don't say anything stupid in front of Zoey. In fact, say the opposite of something stupid. Something interesting. And cool. 

“Why not?” Penelope asked. 

“Oh-uh, well, I'm scared of confrontations, I'm terrible at quick thinking, and I'm like 99% sure I couldn't pass the pysch eval,” I said. I had intended the last part of a self deprecating joke- specifically about struggling with anxiety and depression. It wasn't until I saw Dave shift uncomfortably that I realized that they didn't know that, and had probably heard something more like ‘I'm a building sized giant and also clinically insane’. 

Fuck. What happened to not saying anything stupid? 

As I wracked my brain for what to say, trying to find the right ones to hopefully backtrack on that, Zoey laughed. 

“Mood,” she said. “I think I'd start crying, like, day one.” 

“Oh my god, same,” Penelope said. “Plus, I'm lowkey scared of guns. Wait, does Aphiria have guns?” 

I shook my head. “We don't really need them.” 

“Well, that's a perk, at least,” Penelope said. “Ooh, do you guys have nuclear bombs?” 

I raised an eyebrow. “...nuclear bombs?” 

“Big explosion, radiation kills everything, potential doomsday war, all that?” Zoey chimed in. 

I shook my head. “I'm not sure if we have differing kinds of radiation, but the kinds we have are not particularly harmful to Aphirials. I guess a big enough bomb would be, but we mostly just use those for demolition and stuff.”

“No way? You guys are radiation proof?” Zoey asked. “That's so cool! Y'know, in fourth grade I was super scared there was going to be a nuclear apocalypse and I'd survive the initial bombing and then get radiation poisoning and all my hair would fall out. I even had nightmares about it.” 

“I used to have nightmares about falling into a bottomless pit,” I offered. “I guess I'm pretty glad radiation isn't much of any issue if it makes your hair fall out.” 

“Yeah. And your teeth. And your skin.” Penelope said. 

“Oh my god?” I internally recoiled at that description. “And you build these to use in wars here?” 

“We've only really used two,” Zoey said. “Now all the major militaries just build them so they can say they have them and threaten each other with mutually assured destruction.” 

“...huh.” I said. It felt like there was a lot to unpack there; it also felt like this probably wasn't the time to do so. 

“So you guys don't have guns. And you don't really use bombs in war - what do you use?” Penelope asked. 

I paused, considering how to answer. 

“‘War’ isn't common on Aphiria in general. At least not how it's defined on Earth - most conflicts tend to stay on a smaller scale, with the people directly involved being the ones to do anything fighting. And most fighting is done without additional weapons, because we have fangs and claws and all, so they're not really needed?” 

“Yeah, humans don't have either of those. Lame of ya'll,” Penelope said jokingly. She looked down at her hands. 

“Though I guess us vampires don't really have claws either.” She looked up at me, or more specifically, my hands. 

“I trimmed them,” I said, following her questioning gaze. “Seemed like more of a hindrance than help here.” 

“That's so cool,” Zoey said. “It's really fascinating hearing about what things are like on a different planet.” 

“It's also really cool getting to be here, on a different planet,” I said.

“John mentioned hunting was like a big thing on Aphiria, I'm guessing you guys just use claws and fangs for that too, then?” Penelope asked. I saw Dave shift, and once again hesitated before replying. I tried to pick my words carefully. 

“Aphirials who go hunting, yes. I’m a vegetarian though, so, that’s not really my thing.” 

“That’s how us vampires used to catch deer and stuff. I think most of us just buy blood nowadays though. Which is good, because I totally sucked - no pun intended - at it.” She laughed. 

“Yeah, same,” I said. That seemed to at least not make Dave more nervous, so I decided to ignore that my response was a lie. 

I wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or disappointed when John interrupted just then, announcing that hot dogs were ready. Relieved, because at least I’d succeeded at not entirely terrifying Dave. Disappointed, because I’d found myself hoping I’d get to talk to Zoey more. 

Why does everything always have to be so complicated? 

[ouroboros-hideout]

WIP WHENEVER, WHEREVER

(we are meant to be together shakira shakira)

@olath124 tagged me for this, thanks friend!

Still rather low on content or WIPs I can show but it's something

ART

Don't know if I would call it art actually but I am currently making myself some Discord emojis of Aon aka Knife Queen aka Blorbo Girl.

That's the first one I got done. Because smirking is very important 👆 will do 3 or 4 more I guess. Laughing, something sad, angery and what ever inspiration brings along the way.

VP

The Dogtown Noir pics where fun to do but I noticed real quick that I need a lot of focus to get some good shots. And I don't have that most of the time. I heard there is actually a city outside of Dogtown KEK maybe I will go there next and do some photos 💫

WRITING

Putting this last so no one is forced to read the wall of txt. I still have a lot of unfinished ramblings but nothing that would make sense to show. I started to write some small bits for my own amusement and positive vibes based upon a soft OTP promt list (or what ever it was called). It's only stupid conversations and I think it's nothing for AO3, so probably just throw it here whenever I finished one.

Write about your ship getting dressed up in fancy outfits together:

"Oh my god I hate this so much..."

Aon pulled on his black bolero jacket and looked at herself in the mirror next to the large closet in Kurt's apartment on the top floor of the Sapphire with an unimpressed expression.

"You don't like what I've chosen for you?" Kurt asked, still beeing busy in the bathroom.

"No... yes. I mean. No, I don't like all of this." She grimaced a little more and turned around to look at the elegant suit trousers and expensive shoes she would be wearing tonight.

"Fancy clothes, putting up with brainless snobs at glamorous parties. Pretending to care about what they do and who they are. I really don't know why you like that so much."

"You'll have fun, I'm sure of it." Kurt came back to the main room and took his leather harness, which was still lying on the bed, and put it around his shoulders. He chose a more elegant garment than usual for tonight aswell, as Alyona had demanded, but he wasn't going to abandon all of his military habits.

"I'll have fun at the bar. I know that for sure."

She was still tugging at the jacket, as if she was trying to minimize the revealing neckline of the top.

"And you had to pick something so provocative, didn't you? Well, at least it's not a glittery cocktail dress. You could have worn that yourself."

Kurt laughed heartily at the last comment, took a few steps over to her and fastened the last buttons on the collar of his black shirt.

"You look fantastic."

That didn't really convince her.

"Oh, shut the fuck up. I feel like I'm playing dress-up."

Kurt was now standing behind her, looking in the mirror with her, still smiling.

"Well, in a way, we do, don't we? If you want to get close to your prey, you have to wrap yourself in it´s fur."

Aon let out an amused snort. "You're such a poet Kurt, it's almost unbelievable," she replied sarcastically.

"Still, I'm glad you decided to come along. I don't think it will do you any harm to see something other than the workshop." He put his hands on her hips and leaned forward a little. At least he liked the sight of the two of them in the mirror.

"Hmmm, what I wouldn't give to spend all night fixing that Chimera-Junk gathering dust in your warehouse...", she replied with a playfully dreamy tone.

"You enjoyed the evening at the Totentanz. You can't deny that."

"You're seriously comparing your fancy-pants party to the thing at the Totentanz?"

"It was a party, you didn't want to go and you ended up enjoying it."

"Maybe because even the smallest circute in Maelstrom is a more interesting conversation partner than everyone you've invited today."

Kurt leaned a little closer to her.

"If you decide to stay here after all, I want you to come to every party. Not because I like to see you suffer, but because then I would finally have something to look forward to in the evening. Pleasant company and someone I can rely on."

"Don't get too excited. I might already have a plan to ruin everything."

"That doesn't matter. It would definitely still be a night to remember because you were with me."

Her face twisted into a grimace.

"Damn, you're such a suck-up. No wonder you've got all these snobs eating out of your hand."

"But the difference is that I mean my compliments to you seriously."

Kurt couldn't help but laugh again when he noticed Aon blushing and quickly turning away from the mirror so he wouldn't notice.

"Okay, let's get going. The sooner we get there, the sooner I can say I've tried long enough."

She hastily disengaged from his embrace and walked straight towards the door.

He followerd her right away.

"You stay until the end. I'll tell the bartender to keep you 'entertained'."

Think most of the ppl I would tag have already shown their awesome stuff lately so I will skip this time. See you next time!

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Ikemen Sengoku - Kicho

These translations are not intended as a replacement for the game. Please support Cybird by buying their stories. Expect grammatical errors.

Not Proofread

On a quiet night, with faint moonlight shining through一

After taking a bath, I returned to the front of my room and suddenly stopped.

(Is Kicho still awake?)

(I'm worried, I haven't seen him sleeping much lately.)

My heart tightened as I recalled Kicho's demeanor over the past few days.

(I should at least get him some tea before he goes to bed.)

Still contemplating what I could do to help, I tried to open the door, but一

Click!

Mai: "Eh? Kyaah!"

The door suddenly opened from the inside, and someone pulled me in.

Kicho: "You came back late. What were you doing?"

Mai: "Kicho..."

I couldn't help but gulp at his low voice and questioning eyes as he pushed me back against the wall and blocked my way out with his hands.

Mai: "Nothing. I was just lost in thought for a moment."

Mai: "I was just thinking of giving you some tea."

Kicho: "I see."

Looking convinced, he relaxed his expression and hugged me gently.

(This might be the first time I've seen him so vulnerable.)

(Why did things end up like this?)

It all started about a week ago.

------------Flashback------------

Mai: "A threat?"

Kicho: "Yeah. Also, he said he’d target the maids working in the trading post."

Mai: "Maybe it's just a prank."

Kicho: "No. His motive is still unclear, but there's no doubt that he's serious."

Kicho: "The warning letter was tied to the body of the murdered guard."

Mai: "Oh no!"

The clear intent to kill made my fingertips feel cold all at once.

Kicho: "Given that you're also involved with the trading post, there's a possibility that you could be targeted as well."

Mai: "I guess so."

(Several people know that I used to work as a maid.)

(I still help him sometimes, so it's no surprise that people think I'm still one.)

As my hand almost trembled with anxiety, Kicho gently squeezed my hand.

Kicho: "I won't let any harm come to you."

Kicho: "But..."

(Ah...)

I quickly realized the meaning of his downcast eyes.

(As the head of the trading post, he carries the responsibility for the lives of the maids.)

(If he tries to protect only me, it will lead to distrust among the workers.)

Mai: "I'm fine! Please treat me just like the other maids."

Kicho: "Mai."

---------Flashback Ends---------

(He's torn between wanting to protect his lover and being in a position where he has to be fair.)

(There's been no progress on the notice, so naturally, he's exhausted too.)

Kicho: "Did you notice anything unusual before coming here?"

Mai: "No."

I tilted my head in confusion at his worried eyes.

Mai: "Um, is something wrong?"

Kicho: "..........."

Kicho: "Last night, a maid out on an errand in town had her hair cut off."

Mai: "What!?"

Kicho: "She couldn't see the killer's face since it was in a dimly lit alley, but after passing by him, he identified her as the maid at the trading post."

Mai: "Then..."

Kicho: "Yeah. I'm pretty sure he's the one who made the threat."

(There was an actual victim.)

(And I was in town during the day for a meeting with a client.)

A shiver ran down my spine as I felt the danger approaching me.

Kicho: "By the time the maid turned around in a panic, realizing her hair had been cut, the murderer had disappeared."

Kicho: "There was nothing left on the ground except a new note, which stated, This is only the beginning."

Mai: "Beginning? That means it's not yet over."

Kicho nodded quietly and hugged me.

As I settled into his arms, I realized my body was shaking.

Kicho: "I'm sorry."

Mai: "Huh?"

Kicho: "It's no surprise that I'm making you worry, but more than that, I'm ashamed of myself for feeling relieved to hear that the victim wasn't you."

Mai: "Kicho..."

Wanting to soften his expression, shaded by conflict and guilt, I hugged him back.

Kicho: "Is it alright if I confirm with my eyes that nothing really happened?"

Mai: "Ah."

With a gentle yet irresistible force, he pushed me down onto the bed.

Kicho: "I want to make sure I can protect you."

Mai: "F-Feel free to confirm as much as you want."

(If it brings him even a little peace of mind, I'll do anything.)

Kicho: "Thank you."

Mai: "Mn..."

His fingers carefully trailed through my hair and skin to check for wounds.

As I endured the tickling sensation, he lightly kissed the corner of my eye.

Kicho: "You were probably out in town during the day. Considering what happened, you should refrain from going out alone."

Mai: "You're right. There's also the risk that the murderer could pose as my client."

(I want to work, but my safety comes first.)

(Though if possible, I'd like to assist him.)

Mai: "Since I'm taking a break from work, I have a favor to ask you."

Kicho: "A favor?"

Mai: "Let me help you with your work."

Kicho: "Okay. Let's make the arrangements starting tomorrow."

Mai: "Thank you!"

He covered me again and started sucking on my lips.

Mai: "Nn...ah..."

He held me, embracing my slightly trembling body, and whispered sadly.

Kicho: "Somewhere deep in my heart, I wish I could keep you safe, out of anyone's reach."

(Kicho...)

Mai: "I don't mind that at all, but if possible, I want to be by your side, no matter what happens, for as long as possible."

Kicho: "I see."

Smiling faintly, he took my lips, and we intertwined our bodies.

The next morning一

Kicho: "There's a slight change to today's schedule. Make sure you don't miss anything."

I firmly listened to his voice as he spoke to the gathered subordinates and maids.

As everyone headed to work, his lovely voice called out to me.

Kicho: "Mai. I have a special job for you."

Mai: "What kind of job?"

Kicho: "I'll explain later. Follow me."

(H-Huh?)

Upon returning to the room, Kicho started explaining the details of the tasks.

Kicho: "That's all. Due to the sensitive nature of the information, you won't be allowed to leave the room unnecessarily."

Mai: "H-Hold on!"

The only work he entrusted me with was organizing documents and doing secretarial work that I could do without leaving my room.

(Some maids have to go out to town for their tasks!)

Mai: "I'm the only one assigned to work in a safe place一Nnn..."

I tried to appeal to him, but he shut my lips with a kiss.

I looked up at the dark circles under his eyes, and words failed to come out at that moment.

Kicho: "Mai, don't leave your room, okay?"

Mai: "Kicho!"

Leaving behind a voice that sounded more like a plea than an order, he left the room.

(He usually wouldn't do something this forceful, but he's been so tense that his physical and mental state may be nearing its limit.)

(Is there anything I can do?)

I couldn't even slip out of the room, given the possibility that he would notice me and become even more controlling.

I had no choice but to get on with my work.

Then time passed by.

*Thump*

Mai: "Hm?"

I suddenly turned around at the unexpected sound, but there didn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary.

(I must have misheard it.)

*Clonk*

(I'm not mishearing it. It's coming from outside the window!)

Realizing that the sound was coming from outside, I opened the window and looked down at the garden.

Masamune: "What's the matter? You don't look happy, Mai."

Part 2 ┆ Premium End ┆ Epilogue

[magixfairyix]

Snow, Shadow, and Storm Moment

One of my favourite scenes that takes place the night after Iorda told the Winx she was becoming a witch, and after she woke up from the coma (courtesy of the Shaman Witch) where she relived all her most painful moments.

SSS taking place after season 8.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Icy

I opened my eyes from my drowsy but not quite asleep state when I heard someone talking in the middle of the night—not like it was loud, I just wasn’t sleeping as well as I normally did due to the entire stit show that day and the rest of this week had been—and glanced at where Bloom’s bed was. The fairy was fast asleep.

If I was being honest, I was surprised at how quickly she was able to sleep. She was one of the most worried out of the Winx yesterday, trying to keep the peace but her eyes were always teary until Iorda woke up from the coma. I understood though. I would have also been like that if Stormy or Darcy were in the same position. 

But there was one person in particular that was the most likely to be awake.

Sighing, I pulled the covers off myself and stepped out of the bed. I didn’t want to get up, but then again, I wanted to sleep and yet my body wasn’t complying. It hadn’t been and for the past few days I had been lucky to fall asleep before midnight, and it was only 10:39pm.

Carefully to not wake Bloom, I ignored the exhaustion and walked out of the room and into the main dorm area, the place that led to the balcony that the very quiet noise was coming from. When I saw that the door to Stormy’s, Flora’s, and Iorda’s room was not completely closed I had no doubts who was awake.

I paused for a moment.

After all, it wasn't the best idea to go see if she was alright.

She relieved all her memories the day before, many of them involving my sisters and i. But a part of me wanted to reassure myself that she was fine after the no doubt mentally scarring events that was that day. Also to apologize for… everything, for how I hadn’t spoken to her pretty much at all this entire time since the Shaman Witch appeared.

... I just wanted to make sure she was alive.

I sighed before I made my way to the balcony door, noticing immediately that the door was slightly open. The curtains covering the glass inside the border of the doors were pushed to the side enough for me to see a silhouette, resting their hands against the railing.

Fuck it.

I slowly opened the door further—making sure to have it be obvious that I was walking out onto the balcony, because the last thing I wanted was to startle her knowing what happened today—and Iorda froze for a moment before relaxing, turning back to looking at the sky.

“Hey…” Iorda said tiredly.

“Hey,” I greeted, looking up at the sky—pitch black except for the expanse of stars across it, the sky so clear that if you looked hard enough you could see a bright orange star that was actually one of Andros’ moons—and praying to something out there to make this exchange go at least fine.

I walked up to the railing, keeping enough distance between Iorda and I, and rested my arms on it as the two of us kept our gazes on the forest outside Alfea’s courtyard. “I’m guessing you couldn’t sleep.”

“No, not really,” Iorda sighed before her eyes widened slightly, looking at me. “Are… you doing okay, by the way? Just because of the… memory thing.”

I paused in disbelief before glancing at her, wondering how she could ask me about that when she almost died. But I wasn’t surprised, just concerned. “I mean, it obviously wasn’t pleasant, but… I’m more worried about, well, you.”

“Because I almost died,” Iorda stated, breathing in slowly as she looked back up at the sky.

My hand gripped the railing tightly as I looked away from her. This was the first time actually having a meaningful conversation with one of the Winx besides the very brief conversation with Bloom about Diamond. It was uncomfortable.

“That, and…” I started plainly, shrugging. I was horrible at this. Even Stormy would be better at this; giving reassurance and being vulnerable. By some miracle, Iorda was less tense than I was. “Telling the Winx about changing classes went well. From what I saw.”

“It did,” Iorda agreed, voice full of exhaustion, resting her chin on the back of her hand. “I think that’s why the panic about… what happened left. It’s like my body just wants to—to forget it happened.” She breathed out shakily. “I shouldn’t be able to forget that I just died. That's not something I should just be able to ignore..."

That was something I could give advice on. Darcy would be better at talking about the almost dying trauma, but even if my half-hazard reassurance wasn’t the best. “... did your body want to forget about… dying the first time? Well… the second time.”

The first time, if I was remembering correctly, she fell into a pit and woke up with her memories temporarily taken away. That wouldn't be the best reference point if what was happening was what I thought it was. I buried the guilt at remembering the second time, when I stabbed her just after the sixth year.

“It didn’t…” Iorda answered, and what she said made me sure of what I said next.

“That’s witch magic for you,” I said plainly. Iorda glanced to her side at me with confusion and interest, so I bit down my guilt and continued. “You, deep down, want to use that experience to fuel your magic.”

Iorda shook her head to herself, turning around and leaning her back against the railing. “Last time it happened I just buried it.” She breathed out shakily. “Everything I just buried.”

“Did you ever think that’s why things never stopped weighing down on you?” I questioned matter-of-factly, looking at the trees outside of the Alfea courtyard rustling against each other. “Because you never used all those emotions for your magic that were meant to be used?”

The two of us were silent for a moment and I could tell that Iorda was thinking deeply about what I said. She probably knew about how witch magic worked considering she was at Cloud Tower for her first year—also, she was not an idiot—but it was clear from her silence and stillness that things were mentally clicking into place.

“I…” Iorda started, looking at me as she slowly breathed in and out. “Do you… think now that my witch magic is more prominent I used all those emotions without thinking? I mean, did I just absorb them automatically?”

“Probably,” I shrugged, crossing my arms calmly in front of me. “Especially if you used magic afterwards, then your magic probably decided to use those emotions as fuel without letting you bury the experience. It's natural for witches."

Iorda paused before speaking. “I attacked the Shaman Witch.”

“In your mind?” I asked, and Iorda nodded. “Then your magic would have used whatever emotion was available, and... all the other buried ones that were already there.”

“Vengeance…” Iorda said, eyes fixed at the doors back to the dorm rooms. “Towards her, the world, and myself.”

I stilled for a moment, curious. “Main emotion?”

Iorda sighed before nodding. “I… used it in the beginning. Before I started using positive emotions and ignored that it existed.”

“To be honest, that fits you,” I said without thinking. 

This conversation felt less awkward than it was when I first walked onto the balcony a few minutes ago. Iorda seemed startled at this sudden—or not so sudden—change and yet ready to accept it at the same time, and I was reminded of some of the earlier fights in year one and two when she still fought ruthlessly. 

But now that I thought about it, that never really stopped.

Iorda laughed shortly, breathing out a sigh of relief. “Thank you, and… I think it does. Using that is easier than everything else that I've forced myself to use.”

“Well, you’re a force to be reckoned with,” I said with a shrug. “I’m not surprised your emotion is something like that.”

“Thanks. Well, again,” Iorda said calmly, paying before looking back at the sky. “And… Thanks for this conversation. It helped to figure… some things out and all.”

“Anytime,” I said plainly, pushing away from the railing and starting to walk back to the door. With getting this conversation over with I could see any future ones, although they might be hesitatingly initiated, might be easier. 

“If you need any help with…” I gestured aimlessly, talking more quietly as I opened the door. “This, and all, you do have three witches in your vicinity half held here against their will. Might as well ask before this situation is over.”

“I might take you up on that,” Iorda said with a nod, smiling slightly. “I… do appreciate it.”

My hand paused on the edge of the door as I walked through the doorway, turning around one last time. There was something else I wanted to thank her for, otherwise most likely I would forget about it until dragon knows when, or things would be too urgent for a conversation.

“And I… appreciate how you helped Darcy out in Oscurita,” I said slowly, and before she could answer I gave a brief wave. “Goodnight, Iorda.”

I saw her give a small wave of her own before I turned and walked into the main dorm room, softly closing the door behind me. Through the glass I saw her silhouette turn back to the railing, looking back at the sky again. 

I shook my head to myself before beginning to walk back to mine and Bloom’s room, hoping that tomorrow would be at least better than the day before. But knowing how our luck had been so far I entirely doubted it.

[lakesparkles]

LiS True Colors fanfic (prologue)

Terrible title, I know lmao, but it doesn't have an actual title yet. I'm finally ready to start sharing my fanfics, this being the first one here.

The main idea was "what if Alex had Max's powers too?" because I wanted to write a time travel story, basically. It starts after the ending of the game, but not an official one, I guess? I kinda mixed two of them. The beggining of the fic will be more Alex/Steph but there are a lot of mentions of Alex/Ryan in this prologue too.

Last thing is that English is not my main language so sorry for any mistake! Here's something I drew for it:

You can read it on this google doc or under the cut: (1424 words)

Prologue

.

.

.

Alex doesn't understand how doing exactly what she wanted can be so scary

Or

What if Alex had Max's powers?

---

  The bus gave a sudden lurch, and Alex had to catch herself from falling off the seat. For that measly second, her mind returned to the real world, looking around. Beside her, Steph was going through the same thing, cursing under her breath as she returned to her previous position.

  Then it ended.

  Her attention immediately returned to the window, her cheek resting on her hand. Outside, the trees and mountains were farther apart. Different. Quite different from Haven Springs. The realization of that knocked her over again, making Alex swallow hard as she began to think about how her own decision hadn't made her as satisfied as she'd hoped.

  Maybe it was because she didn't think it would happen so soon. I mean, Alex was never an optimistic person. Far from that. Because optimism never made her life easier. However, part of her had found small hopes just a few weeks ago, when she'd been on a bus much like this one: seeing Gabe again could be weird, but could also be good. She could find connections, comfort, and everything else she'd lacked before. She could make Haven Springs her home.

  She would be lying if she said that things didn't turn out the way her more unrealistic self imagined.

  And again, even that hadn't gotten her anywhere. For there she was, heading towards the opposite side of the country, just as she had started.

  Alex sighed, burying her face in her hand.

  "Look," Steph's voice made her reluctantly focus on something that was not her thoughts, "you might be the one among us who reads minds... Buuuuut something tells me you'd have a blue stain around you right now ... It's blue, right?

  A second sigh came out of Alex's throat, but this time, she too turned her head and smiled slightly. A sad smile:

  "I am really sorry. I think I'm kind of tired."

  "But already?" Steph didn't seem convinced, "It's the first hours of our incredible journey! When we're in Pennsylvania you won't even be able to stand up then!"

  There was a certain good humor in her voice, which Alex appreciated. She was already tired of all the disguised judgments she had received in the last few days in that city.

  "You're really used to traveling, huh!?"

  "I prefer to believe that I wasn't born for only one city!" Steph closed her eyes in a dramatic pose, pointing at herself.

  It was lovely. Alex's smile rose a few inches, until she noticed the blue stain start to appear around the other one. It was small and lasted a few seconds. Alex even tried to avoid reading Steph's thoughts, but it was almost involuntary: as none so far made me feel like I should.

  "I'm with you on this one!" Alex laughed awkwardly.

  She knew her thoughts would take over again. So she didn't even turn her face to the window. Instead, she slowly laid down on Steph's shoulder, giving the other woman enough time to stop her if she wanted to. But of course Steph didn't move a muscle, just resting her head on Alex's.

  The contact was still awkward. Something she knew she would need more time to get used to. It was just one of the many consequences of growing up with little affection. She now avoided and begged for it in equal measure. It was like that when she hugged Gabe for the first time after meeting him again: awkward, out of place and strangely nice.

  She felt her brother's affection in unusual ways, being when she discovered that he had bought a guitar as a gift, days before she arrived; or when everyone in town spoke to her with a certain familiarity during her first week there. "Gabe couldn't stop talking about you!", Ryan confessed one afternoon that he spent at her apartment, "He guaranteed that everyone would love you! He said that you could form a band with Steph. That you wouldn't even complain about watching the boring documentaries I liked. Scary how right he was... And now I understand why he thought that...".

  Every time she talked about Gabe with Ryan, she felt a warm feeling in her chest, in a way she knew she wouldn't feel with anyone else. The two understood each other and expressed their love for Gabe through each other as well. It made that anything but real, as if they were just two old friends reminiscing about stories and would soon see Gabe again.

  Affection for Alex often took that form: being able to pretend everything was fine with someone else.

  At that very moment, Alex had her legs on top of Ryan's. He gently placed his hand on her knee, lightly caressing the area. Something so small and ordinary and…weird. She didn't know if she liked it, and it made her uneasy.

  She wanted something real and different from the feelings she'd stolen from someone else. And she knew reality was always a little scary, so she seemed to be on the right path.

  It intensified when she handed him the rose at the festival, her heart beating a mile a second. Even worse when she kissed him for the first time, the gold and purple mingled in him as well as her. She was close enough to feel everything that went through his mind. It was always a mixed bag, just like it was with Alex. Confused. Scary. New. Comfortable.

  Maybe all that fear wasn't so bad after all.

  Purple certainly followed her through the rest of that short relationship.

  She saw how Ryan was paralyzed as she confronted his father. Or when he himself yelled at her, telling her to stop it.

  Ryan didn't believe her.

  It wasn't the anger she was so used to that washed over him as he refused her touch, almost as if he was disgusted with her. Or when he started avoiding her for the next few days, his guilt prevented him from even getting close.

  No. It wasn't anger. Or sadness.

  It was fear.

  Now Alex couldn't help but think of everything from the start. At all the other times that emotion was present.

  Maybe it wasn't as normal as she wanted to believe it was.

  "It's like this in the beginning!" Steph's voice again brought her back to the real world.

  Alex needed a few seconds to even understand what was said:

  "Huh?"

  "This weird bus adrenaline! It's always kind of sad, at least it was like that for me too" She said while practically rubbing her face against Alex's, "But let me tell you a secret: Salem will never be the best part! We have many places to visit even before there!"

  "Is that talk about 'the true treasure are the friends you made along the way?"

  Steph lightly punched her arm, even though she was laughing:

  "I'm serious, okay? The good part is that we'll never know if Salem will really be our final stop. Maybe we'll walk into a hotel in the middle of nowhere in Ohio and decide that's where we belong."

  "Is that what happened when you stopped in Haven Springs?"

  "No..." She admitted, "But that hope always wanted to get me out of there."

  Alex still appreciated how much the other tried to cheer her up, so she decided to shrug her shoulders, giving up:

  "Who knows, right? We might not even stop anywhere! Let's just keep traveling. We just need to get temporary jobs to buy a van."

  "Then we can make a short list: ‘places to visit before death'! We will travel the country!"

  "And then we'll go down to Latin America. Somewhere has to be our place."

  "Or no place will ever be our place!"

  "You make it look like a good thing." She chuckled.

  "You understand me, Alex."

  That simple sentence cut the conversation short. Alex lifted her head from her shoulder, then made eye contact with Steph. She had said the last sentence simply, as if she was joking. However, the way she was looking at Alex now, it was as if she had confessed to something much bigger, which she had been keeping inside for a long time.

  The color purple washed over Steph.

  Alex smiled.

  Maybe she wasn't so wrong about affection and love.

[dancegender]

Heyyy, I wrote a one-shot for N x Thad that I'm posting. Prompt was 'playing video games' by @astronic-fr but there's honestly more setup than actual video games. Not a great writer, but I hope you guys like it anyway.

Storming Outside, But We're Safe In Here

Thad sighed, pausing his video game and standing up. After maybe an hour of walking and fruitless search, he finally managed to locate the dungeon he was looking for. Deciding to take a break before he went in, he propped himself against his wall to listen to the howling of the blizzard outside. He didn't really care for storms so much, but the wind was a pretty good source of background noise.

Right as he caught himself zoning out, Thad was startled back into sentience by a rather loud knock on the front door. He heard his mom call out, followed by a bit of shuffling and some footsteps. It wasn't until the door opened that he heard screaming and jumped to his feet, bolting towards the living room.

"Mom! What's going-" Thad started to speak but cut himself off, taking in the sight in front of him. His mother, still screaming, stood in the front doorway. Shoe in hand, she was swinging at a poor drone who was desperately trying to get a sentence out.

"Ma'am, please, I'm- ow! Not trying to- ouch! Hurt anyone- ow!"

Moving closer, Thad could see that is wasn't just a random drone at the door. It was N, Thad's newest friend, his body almost completely crusted over with ice. With some effort, Thad managed to position himself in front of N.

"Mom, mom, calm down! N's cool, he's not hurting anything."

Thad's mom paused mid-strike, staring blankly at her son. "THAT'S the N you were talking about?" She turned to face N. "I am so sorry! I've heard plenty of good things about you, but I never heard you were a disassembly drone."

"Oh, it's no big deal, don't worry about it," N's voice was a little hoarse when he spoke, like he was still waiting for his vocal cords to thaw out. He looked a mess, too, with his hair stuck up frozen in places and the small chunks of ice that hung from his visor; he was lucky drones couldn't get frostbite. This didn't seem like the charming, sweet, happy-go-lucky N that Thad was accustomed to.

"Come inside, N, you look like you could use some warming up." Thad was brought back to the present by his mom's voice. N simply shook his head.

"Oh no, It's fine. I just wanted to drop off this," N dug around in his pocket before pulling out a puzzle cube, holding it out to Thad. "You forgot it last time you stopped by the spire. Thought I'd return it and pop back home."

Thad accepted the cube, narrowing his eyes. "You flew all the way out here, through a blizzard, to return my puzzle cube. And now you want to leave, flying back through the blizzard again."

"Yes...?" N fidgeted, suddenly appearing to notice that the workers were staring at him like he'd lost his mind.

"Yeah, no, Uzi'd kill me if I let you do that," Thad grabbed N's hand, wincing at how cold it was, and dragged him through the door. "You're staying here, at least until the storm lets up."

It took maybe 10 minutes of negotiation, a few fuzzy blankets, and one very intense mom stare to convince N to wait out the blizzard. After warming up, N thankfully started to resemble himself again. Thad led him down the hall to his bedroom, picking up his controller and flopping down on the bed.

"Your mom's nice," N remarked, sitting down gently on the bed next to him. "Kinda thought you'd have your own place, though."

"Eh, not really," Thad sat up, gesturing vaguely over his shoulder. "There's only so much living space in an underground bunker, and it's a long process to add more. It's pretty normal to not move out for a while, just 'cause there's not a whole lot of places to move to."

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense..." N noticed the screen mounted on the wall. "Ooh, whatcha playing?"

"Skyrim," Thad unpaused his game, walking up the grand dungeon's steps. "I was just about to raid this dungeon. You wanna try?" He held the controller out to N, who took it carefully.

"Sure!" N opened the dungeon door, barging right into the bandits gathered at the entrance. They began attacking, which prompted N to run in circles helplessly. "Thad, they're stabbing me."

Thad wasn't much help, though. He was laughing rather loudly, resting on N's shoulder to keep himself upright. "Yeah, they tend to do that," he managed in between breaths. "You've gotta hit 'em back. Press X and use the triggers."

N obeyed, watching Thad's weapons come into view. In the right hand, he held a shimmering, pale green dagger. In the left, a swirling mass of deep red. N pressed the right trigger, affectively slashing the bandit in front of him, who promptly burst into flames.

"Woah!" N laughed, whirling around to strike another bandit. Thad closed his eyes briefly, taking in the sound of N's laughter. They'd really only ever met under serious circumstances, so the casual cheer in his friend's voice was a welcome change of pace. N turned around, activating the reddish aura sitting in his left hand.

"That's a spell attack," Thad explained. He pushed himself off of N, remaining close enough for their shoulders to still be touching. "Don't use it too much, though, it drains your Magicka."

They managed to get through the dungeon rather quickly, easily killing the bandit chief. Now, all that was left to do was to collect the bounty money.

"Hey Thad, how do I-" N turned towards his friend, starting to ask a question, but cut himself off abruptly. Thad hadn't noticed himself leaning into N during their quest. He only realized just how close they were when N's cheek came into contact with his own, a thin stream of electricity sparking between their faces.

They stayed frozen like that for a while, neither entirely sure of what to do. A steady blush fizzled to life in the corners of both their visors to accompany their wide eyes. Their weird trance was finally broken by the sounds of snarling coming from the game.

"Shit, we're dying!" Thad shook N slightly, motioning to the wolves of the screen. Snapping back to reality, N strengthened his grip on the controller.

"Biscuits!" N readied his weapons, swiftly taking out the wolf pack. Turning back to Thad, his usually animated expression was nearly unreadable.

"You good?" Thad asked quietly, hesitantly raising a hand to rest on N's back. N grabbed his wrist, quickly moving Thad's hand to his face instead. He kept his own hand on the back of Thad's, relaxing slightly into the touch.

"Yeah, I... I think I'm good," N's voice was uncharacteristically quiet. Thad offered a small smile, using his free hand to brush some of the hair out of N's eyes.

"Well, that's good," Thad brought his hand briefly to the other side of N's face before grasping his jacket and yanking him forwards, causing them to both fall back on the bed. N yelped, dropping the controller.

"Really, dude?" He said, propping himself up on his elbows. Thad barked out a laugh in place of a real response, and N laughed too, loud and bright and wonderful. Thad sat back up, grabbing the discarded controller and accessing the world map. N followed suit, snaking his arms around Thad's torso and resting his chin on Thad's shoulder.

In all his life, Thad never thought that he would be grateful for a blizzard. Now, though, he wondered if he'd ever be this grateful for a blizzard again.

[spinelli-gemelli]

A Degrassi Essay Series About Rick Murray

(Part 5)

In the last post we looked at those students who antagonized Rick in their interactions with him. Let's now focus on those who served as his allies in what was otherwise a miserable school environment for him. This will be a fun post to write considering all of the following characters have different reasons for why they're interacting with Rick, yet they all seemed to have left a strong, positive impact on him.

Darcy

I'm starting with little Miss Edwards because she is the most neutral towards Rick out of everyone on the list. She agreed to kiss Rick for five dollars, Toby being the one to pay her. Because she's a freshman, or as they say in Canada, in Grade 9, she is unaware of who Rick is and why everyone at Degrassi hates his guts. It's her inquiry about Rick's reputation that earns her the five dollars to begin with. We watch this minor scene unfold in "Islands in the Stream" (4x06) as this ninth grader gets Rick's attention while he's walking past her in a hurry and compliments his glasses, causing him to pause and face her. For someone so young, Darcy was very smooth in her delivery. It helps when you don't care about the guy you're being paid to kiss. This prompts Rick to tell Darcy about the "game" he and Toby are playing. Darcy, armed with meta knowledge of the game already, asks what she can do to help him win, and that's when Rick replies with, "A kiss." He tells her he doesn't need a lips or a cheek kiss, but before he can finish his sentence, Darcy stretches up and smooches him on the cheek, and we cut to see Rick grinning from ear to ear afterward. Hell, his face is even a soft shade of pink. After all, he was losing this game in a humiliating (and honestly hilarious) defeat, so that kiss must have felt like heaven to him. It kind of shows us as the audience that Rick wasn't all there since he had the audacity to believe that women would be a fan of his after what he did to Terri and after the ribbon campaign that was launched against him just a few weeks ago. I mean c'mon, dude. I guess he assumed that just because the head organizer of the campaign softened her defenses against him, he believed that every other girl would too. Think again!

Here's a fun fact behind this scene. The actress who auditioned for Darcy (Shenae Grimes) read her Darcy lines while a woman in the audition room, who I'm assuming was Linda Schuyler, read lines for Rick. Grimes' audition was an extension of Darcy's scene with Rick. As Darcy is walking away after having kissed Rick, "Rick" (played by Schuyler) asks for Darcy's name, which she has no problem telling him. When Darcy then asks for his name in return, Rick is awkward and can only respond in verbal pauses. "Uhhh...d-uhhh...". It's as if Rick didn't want her to know who he really was for fear of her hating him too. Darcy closes out the scene with the line. "Guys are so weird." No, Darcy. It's just that guy who's weird. The rest of them are simply stupid (lol, just kidding).

Jimmy

Jimmy started off much like Spinner: he was understandably hostile towards Rick in the beginning, then began using every opportunity he could to meddle Rick at school after the protesting died down. We get the famous foreshadowing scene in "Anywhere I Lay My Head" (4x05) where Rick shows up to the Spirit Squad car wash in his mother's black Volkswagen. Jimmy walks up to the driver's window after he notices Rick talking to his girlfriend, Hazel, and threatens to shoot him with the water hose, telling him to "bounce." As Rick is driving away, Jimmy sprays the water gun at the back of Rick's car. Jimmy is also the one who is with Spinner as they both throw him in the dumpster in "Time Stands Still" (4x07).

Something happens though. By fate, Jimmy is Heather Sinclair's replacement on the Whack-Your-Brain team after she falls ill with mononucleosis. Now that they are forced to work together, Jimmy realizes that Rick isn't the worst person on the planet. Rick even gives Jimmy a compliment, as awkward as his speech mannerisms are. "Futility perfected." Rick says to Jimmy during practice drills the day before the finals. Now that Jimmy notices that Rick these days is just minding his nerdy business, he sticks up for Rick in front of Spinner, Jay and Alex.

What a shame that Rick assumed that Jimmy was the culprit behind the paint and feathers prank based on what Spinner and Jay told him. The scene in which Rick approaches Jimmy in the hallway with every intention of shooting him regardless of what Jimmy said is a mixture of frustration and dread. Jimmy, being the bigger person, decided to set aside his differences with Rick and move forward with the seemingly not bad person he was during the time of "Time Stands Still". He was the biggest supporter to Rick on stage as he answered all of the trivia questions correctly on stage. Maybe they wouldn't have been buddies in an alternate future, but similar to the crew that was featured in "The Breakfast Club Episode" of Degrassi (3x16), they would behave civilly towards each other. They would come to an understanding. Jimmy would defend Rick against the bullies in the halls as he promised to Rick before he decided to shoot him. "...and if those guys give you anymore problems, I got your back." Jimmy Brooks being the classic good guy. Sadly it cost him his legs, though none of it was the cause of his own doing. Rick was quick to believe the lie he had been told since Jimmy did resort to plain old bullying like Spinner and Jay after the protesting died down, and that was the Jimmy Rick had in mind as he approached him slowly, blinded by his incorrectly perceived injustice and rage. To Rick, in that moment, he was a fool to believe that Jimmy would really want to be his friend. He should have known it was too good to be true, and in his mind, it was. Jimmy betrayed him.

Emma

Yes, we're talking about Emma again. After she leads the charge against Rick, puts an end to it, sets the record straight about how she feels about him, Rick and Emma tolerate each other as classmates. After all, they seem to share at least three classes together as both of them are in grade ten. Then something happens in "Islands in the Stream" that changes the tone of their relationship. In a bet where Rick and Toby each try to get a kiss from Emma in order to win, she winds up kissing both of them. There's just a bit of...inconsistency in her behavior here. If you're a girl who learns from the upperclassmen about how Rick Murray beat his ex-girlfriend, organized a campaign to get rid of him with said upperclassmen, would you not be disgusted at the thought of kissing him? Being a woman beater is a major turn off. It's one thing if you buy into Rick's repentance and believe that he is different from last year. It's another if you just put up with the fact that he's around, like Emma originally did.

"Things got out of hand, and I stopped it." Emma tells Rick at the end of episode 4x04. "It doesn't mean I like you, and it doesn't mean we're friends." Then, two episodes later, she has no problem pecking him on the cheek? Maybe this was the moment Rick believed that Emma was into him. If you take away this scene in his character arc, then yes it seems like Rick developed this delusion of Emma flirting with him out of thin air, but the fact that she decides to kiss him suggests at the very least she can't dislike the guy the way she implied at the end of "Mercy Street". To Emma, perhaps her motivation to do so was that she didn't want Toby to believe that she was into him, which is why she discretely kissed him on the cheek. Isaacs then went and blabbed about it to his new friend, so Emma, being annoyed that Toby didn't follow her lead, evens the score by kissing Rick. "This is so you're not lonely." She says to Rick before she leans in to make her move. Her attempt to not show any favor towards either boy had the opposite effect on Rick. He seems to think that the fact that Emma kissed him does mean she likes him. She did make it clear two episodes ago that she wasn't his fan. Maybe he's making the implication in his mind after she pecked his cheek--and we're talking a smooch so light and so fast that if you blink, you'd miss it.

Ironically, he doesn't respond to Darcy's kiss the same way he responds to Emma's. In NotaVampyre's video essay, the uploader points out a small detail at the end of episode 4x06. Toby and Rick are plot B of that episode, and in it they have a little competition to see who can get the most girls to kiss them by the end of the day. We learn that Toby wins, managing to get eleven kisses that day, but Rick only had one, which was Darcy, and even that was only because she was paid to do so. In Rick and Toby's final scene, Rick says that Darcy's kiss has given him all of the confidence he needs before strutting down the hall with his supposed new confidence. When Toby asks "To what?", we see Rick's "confidence" is short-lived as Jay looms over him, successfully intimidating Rick to turn the other direction. Rick never goes into an explanation about what he meant, but NotaVampyre suggests that the confidence he's speaking of was meant for asking Emma to be his girlfriend. This suggests that Emma's affectionate gesture towards Rick meant more to him than it did to her. This explains why Rick thought that Emma being more pleasant towards him during episode 4x07 meant that she returned the same feelings he had for her. It wasn't just that she was being nice to him in this episode, but also because of the kiss she gave him in the previous episode. As I write about this, it sounds as if I'm creating a mountain out of a molehill, but from Rick's perspective, this is exactly the point. Any minute, friendly gesture that Rick receives from the opposite sex is inflated in his mind. Hell, the same is true with members of his same sex as we saw in his interactions with Jimmy.

I think the event that began Rick's crush on Emma was that in the beginning, she was the only person who rushed to his aid as the protesting got out of hand. It is suggested that Rick is into blondes after we see his list of his "Top Twenty" crushes at the school (episode 4x06), with Emma and Ms. Hatzilakos both being in his top three. This puts Emma in an uncomfortable and frustrating situation. She's trying to do the right thing and help support Rick on the Whack-Your-Brain team, but because she's smiling at him and being nice to him, Rick assumes that she's now into him, which encourages him to make the moves on her...if you want to call it that. Most of the viewers watching Rick find his tactics to be cringe, awkward, creepy, and uncomfortable. After Rick is humiliated on stage, Emma famously goes after him in the hallway to console him, but unfortunately, Rick misreads her actions yet again. He decides that this is the time to make his big move--he grabs her face and kisses her on the mouth, which causes Emma to pull away from him, shocked, repulsed, and upset. Rick says to her, "I thought you loved me." It's this simple line that lets us know as the audience that Rick doesn't have it all together upstairs. Emma scoffs at him, telling him to get a clue, that she only felt sorry for him.

Before Rick winds up resenting Emma for not reciprocating his love for her, Emma seems to come full circle in her interactions with Rick. This seemed to be very healthy for him until, of course, he was humiliated on stage, and his delusions of Emma flirting with him were shattered when he was forced to face reality. It makes me wonder what would have happened if Rick hadn't been pranked on stage and was still rejected by Emma. Would it have hurt as much if he got to win the tournament and receive positive feedback from all of his pupils? I'm inclined to believe that while, sure, he would have been hurt, he wouldn't have resorted to a gun. Emma's rejection was simply the straw that broke the camel's back, the icing on the cake of despair.

Toby

Toby's character becomes something of a glorified extra in season three all the way to season seven where he actually becomes a recurring guest role in season six. Sadly in t.v. shows that feature a large ensemble cast, some members get thrust into the shadows. The writers don't do this intentionally; however, it is hard to give equal screen time to multiple characters, especially when you're restricted by a tight budget and twenty-two minutes of showtime. That isn't to say that they don't have any significance. In this case, I'm referring to Toby's friendship with Rick. Toby is also the only character in the whole show who Rick remained friends with all the way to his tragic end. I don't believe Rick ever meant to hurt Toby. He was just unfortunate in being caught with one of Rick's targets: Emma.

I see some people say online that one of Toby's worst offenses was befriending Rick: a known abuser. I disagree. Throughout Toby's time at Degrassi, he and his closest friend, J.T., have been growing apart since the beginning of season 3. It is even mentioned in Google's episode description of "Gangsta Gangsta" (3x06), which reads "...while J.T. leaves Toby behind by spending more time with Paige and the popular kids". In season 4 you see the pair of them, along with Manny and Liberty, hanging out in Liberty's hot tub in her backyard, but it is still suggested that J.T. prefers to spend his leisure time with Danny Van Zandt over Toby, and since the cool kids reject Toby, he sees something of himself in Rick. It has nothing to do with the fact that he put Terri in a coma. Some fans say that Toby should have condemned Rick for what he did to Terri rather than form an allegiance with him, which I think is absurd. He's a teenage boy, for one, and adolescent boys don't make for very good activists of any kind. Again, Isaacs related to Rick being a loner, not an abuser, and Rick has since acknowledged how terribly he treated Terri in the past. They were both nerdy outcasts with shared interests in role playing dice and computers. Toby certainly doesn't condone what Rick did last year, but rather accepts who Rick is in the present day as good enough of a friend as he can get at this time. I think that Toby knew that something was off about him after he visited Rick's house the day of the Whack-Your-Brain finals and heard him inflate the truth about their relationship with Jimmy and Emma. Still: it isn't his duty to be an activist. He's a kid who just needs a friend.

I've seen another voice online saying that people underestimate the impact that Toby's friendship had on Rick, a statement that I agree with. While it was certainly a tragedy what Rick did, who knows how much worse it could have been, how much further he could have spiraled, how many more lives he could have devastated, if not for the presence of Toby. It would be unthinkable to bear the brunt of being bullied completely alone with nothing but your private thoughts to console you. There was a moment in episode 4x06 where Jay slams Rick into a locker, and shortly after he does, Toby is right there to offer Rick a hand. Something as simple as helping someone off of the floor after they've been knocked down can make a huge difference to a bullied victim.

It also tells you something about Toby’s character, someone who is boastful about his victories, that he goes out of his way to make sure Rick isn't humiliated at his own game. In this case, Rick deserved to lose in such a mortifying way. A guy with an abusive history needs to keep his ego in check. Still, Toby has a heart and wants Rick to get some satisfaction out of participating in their silly bet, so he pays Darcy to kiss his friend. He even lets Rick believe that the kiss happened organically as Rick is reminiscing about it the next day. Since Jay is around to witness this ordeal, he decides to punish Toby for it by shoving him into a locker. Fun fact: we get another bit of foreshadowing in this scene. Right before Jay pushes Toby into his own locker, he explains to Jay why he did what he did. "Look. Rick’s my friend. I was just trying to save him from humiliation." How sneaky of the writers to tell us what was going to happen to Rick in the next episode! Sadly, Toby wasn't able to save Rick from humiliation when it counted the most.

Rick has also stood up for Toby. We see this in part one of "Time Stands Still." Jimmy has just joined Whack-Your-Brain and is still at odds with Rick at this time. Jay and Spinner come after Toby in an attempt to find Rick. When Toby refuses to give away his friend's whereabouts, Jay punishes him by slamming his face into the water fountain he is drinking out of. When Toby meets up with Rick, Emma, and Jimmy in the gym, he has a bloodied lip. Both Rick and Jimmy know Toby had been attacked, and Jimmy tries to pry information from Toby. Instead, it is Rick who responds to Jimmy, challenging him to see the error of not only his ways but also the ways of his friends. The most poignant part of the dialogue is when Rick says, "Toby doesn't deserve this. Nobody does." This tells the viewers a couple of things. One, it shows that Spinner, Jay, and Alex are actually bullies at this point in the story since they've reared their aggression towards Toby, a kid who, unlike Rick, has done nothing wrong. Secondly, it shows that Rick is thinking of more than just his own suffering, as he is visibly upset at the fact that his bullies came after his friend. I point this out because people tend to say that Rick's return to Degrassi in search of forgiveness is only for the sake of his ego, arguing that he doesn't take into account anything else except his own problems and his own suffering. This scene with Jimmy proves that he is capable of feeling sorry for more than just himself. Abuser or not, Rick’s display of sympathy for Toby proves that he's not the "psycho" that everyone has branded him. Notice that Rick doesn't say "I don't deserve this," which takes the focus away from himself, but rather says that no one deserves to be tortured by other humans, and he is right. Granted, he does say right before how he has "...been suffering for weeks," which suggests that the viewers should garner empathy for Rick's situation, but nonetheless, Rick has the moral high ground for the first time in the series.

While this essay was dedicated to those who showed kindness towards Rick that most would argue he didn't deserve, it's a tragic irony that two of the people on this list are the ones he targeted at the end of his character arc. I remember watching the "Time Stands Still" two-parter and feeling a mix of emotions from indignation, to anxiety, to sadness. Toby could only watch helplessly as his friend was determined to kill his other friend since seventh grade. Before Rick pulled a gun, Toby tried to convince Rick to stay home after the prank, but Rick insisted that that was the one time he wanted to be at school. Toby tries to talk Rick out of it, but Rick isn't hearing any of it. The cold, malicious glare he gives Emma the entire time Sean tries to deescalate the situation is so unnerving. It's like he doesn't even see Toby standing in the halls with them, or doesn't care. Although Rick felt like he was betrayed by Jimmy, Toby was truly betrayed by Rick. I can't imagine being the person associated with a dead school shooter because I was friends with him. Rick might not have aimed a gun at Toby's face, and Toby might not have wrestled for the gun the way Sean did, but he was just as impacted by the shooting as Emma and Sean.

[cluelessweeb]

Dog died on friday – a vent

I was taking care of him the whole morning. He suddenly declined really sharply on Thursday and hadnt eaten for a few days by then.

I moved him and his bed into my room so I could keep an eye on him. He never so much as changed position. The only indication that he was awake was that he was blinking. He vomited a couple times even though he had nothing in his stomach. That paired with him shitting blood because he hadnt been taking his pancreatitis meds made it smell like rot before he even died.

I didn't feel comfortable touching him and I feel bad. So boney, i dont think he had any strength left. All he did move was his head. That and the stink. The weather was cooler than the rest of the week so I opened my windows. I hope the fresh air and the sound of cicadas was nice for him.

Then around 1:00 he had trouble breathing. I tried changing his position to make it easier and it helped a little but not by much. 1:16 he stopped breathing. I was on my bed, not by his side. The sounds of his labored breaths were gone. I looked up and hesitated. I don't know why. I must have been processing what it means. I got up and patted him trying to see if he'd react, I put my ear to his ribs to listen for a heartbeat or shallow breaths. I wasn't sure what I heard.

Then a bit later he snapped, like he was biting something. It happened a few times. He wasn't breathing still, I was confused. Is this a thing corpses do? Was he fighting death? Final attempts to gasp for air? It didn't seem like the last one.

It was relieving, honestly. He's been losing himself the past year. But in that final moment, I saw his feisty, stubborn personality. I mentioned it to mom during our car ride, but she didn't say anything. She has a habit of not listening. I guess I'll keep that moment to myself.

1:17 I tried to call mom but she didn't answer the phone. I texted her the news, he was still snapping but less often. Honestly the snapping went on for 15 seconds maximum.

After that I wasn't sure what to do. I couldn't leave him laying there. I brought my cat lupin in to see him since he liked him, he'd groom pippin in the past even though pippin didn't like cats. Then I looked for a box to put him in. The first was too small. The second I felt wrong about putting him in. He fit in it diagonally but... it was cramped. But I didn't feel like looking more. I felt bad closing the flaps but I couldn't stand the smell.

I don't know, mom never answered my text or called me back. She just came home around 1:40 saying she gave up on waiting for the patient that she was supposed to see. It felt awkward seeing her hold his body and cry. I understood why she reacted like that, but the whole not responding to me thing sat in my mind. She acted surprised that he was gone even though I told her already.

Then she made me call places for cremation to ask about prices. I'm so tired of having to do everything.

We brought him in the box to the vet since they could send him off for cremation. Mom took a while looking at the packages. An elderly couple came in with a very whiney black cat. He didn't like being there either. Then an old lady came in with her big dog who stopped to sniff our box on tbe way to the scale. When mom finally paid for the service a vet tech came to take him. She peeked in the box and I could tell she hated the smell too. She pinched her nose a little but tried not to make any expression. She was wearing tie die blue and white crocs. I couldn't help but feel self conscious. Mom had called earlier about euthanasia so they knew he was alive earlier in the day, but the smell. I felt horrible. I didn't realize he was layinf in his own blood shit until after he died when I picked him up. Even then I couldn't have put him in the shower if I noticed before.

Even before he died I'd been feeling more fragile than usual and I'm already a fragile person. I haven't bothered talking to that discord server much since then. I cried when I thought my friend fell asleep before we could watch link click together. I've been too dependent on that person. They impact my mood so heavily it's unhealthy but I'm too ashamed to say that directly in therapy. I've been considering putting some distance between us. Hell I was put in my current bad mood because they haven't responded to my messages for four hours. Some people have lives, Cathy. Sometimes they have other friends too. Get over it.

That paragraph deviated whoopsy daisy. But I'm done. I originally meant to write down my feelings for my therapist but this might be too long. I'll give her the tldr ig.