#(bc we share an office) so i teared up

[patrice-bergerons]

idk all you can ask from people is that they do their best but some days the energy it takes to deal with earnest efforts that fall short of the mark is prohibitively high.

[daisies-daydreams]

…I know I just submitted one..BUT Miguel O’Hara and his busy busy self 😇🙏 so he’s at his desk being all grumpy and stuff totally focused and we are at home all bored and sad cause Miguel hasn’t came home so we get frisky and put on his white button up and send some scandalous pictures. We get left on DELIVERED. NOT EVEN SEEN. So we get a bit angry and sad so we get dressed and drag our asses to his office (with the bracelet we suddenly obtained..that he knows nothing about..) BUT WE COME BEARING GIFTS. Comida. And love. And lust. We go to him and nuzzle him and he’s still being a grumpy shit so we sit on his lap and grip his cheeks. We force feed the shit outta him bc he’s our baby and WE GOTTA FEED HIM. HES OUR BIG BOY. So we feed him and he’s grateful but bc he’s a tease he says how we shouldn’t disrupt him. We scratch his head soothingly and tell him we love him. Then like we stay like that for a while and he grabs his phone. He sees the raunchy photos and smut ensues. He claims that we are sluts and that we should’ve waited for him. degradation and praise. Also Miguel saying how we really ruined his work just for a quick fuck and how pathetic that is. And just for comedic relief..Lyla sees the aftermath and Miguel gets flustered.

Distraction (Miguel O’Hara x F!Plus-Sized!Reader)

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x F!Plus-Sized!Reader Category: Fluff/Smut w/ Angst Throughout (18+) Warnings: Sexting, Swearing, Praise/Degradation Kink (Use of 'Slut', 'Cocksleeve', 'Fuck Toy'), Vaginal Fingering, Unprotected P in V Sex (you know the drill), Full Nelson, Multiple Orgasms, Creampie, Miguel Being a Meanie Word Count: 4.9k+

A/N: Hello hello! I'm so glad to get another Miguel O'Hara request (I personally loved working on this spicy fic 🥴). I hope you enjoy!

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI

Tonight was supposed to be different.

Miguel was supposed to walk through the door, exhausted yet relieved to finally be home. The two of you were supposed to sit down and have some home-cooked food, discussing the ins and outs of your respective days. You were supposed to do the dishes together, maybe dance a little in the kitchen, before making your way to the bedroom. And to top it off, the two of you were supposed to make sweet, tender love for hours before falling asleep in each other’s arms. 

...That’s how it was supposed to go. 

Instead, you reluctantly ate dinner by yourself after waiting for him for over an hour. Your body felt unbearably heavy as you put the rest of the food away and tucked the dishes into the dishwasher. You sighed when you stepped into the bedroom and flopped down onto your cold bed. Your eyes stung as you gripped the comforter, your jaw hurting from how tightly you clenched it. 

It wasn’t fair. 

Miguel promised you he’d be here tonight on time. He even texted you earlier that he had “one more thing” before he left work. It's felt like forever since the two of you had a nice night to yourselves. You sniffed as tears poured down your puffy cheeks and soaked the blanket. The room was filled with your quiet, muffled cries for a while before your phone buzzed. You pulled your head up and snatched your phone, a small glimmer of hope shining through before you looked at your screen. You scowled as you glanced at the notification for your email. 

“Why am I not surprised?” you muttered bitterly as you tossed your phone across the bed. You sighed as you fell back down on your back, eyes set on your shared closet. You huffed as you skimmed over the organized rows of Miguel’s shirts and jackets. Your scowl melted a little at the memory of you strutting around your apartment wearing nothing but one of his massive t-shirts. 

You laughed softly as you remembered his red, flustered face when you bent down to pick up your phone after you “accidentally” dropped it. Needless to say, the two of you almost had to buy a new sofa after he...

Wait a second. 

You slowly sat up again as an idea crossed your mind. You smiled deviously and bit your lip. You grabbed your phone and slipped your feet onto the cold, hardwood floor. Maybe Miguel needed a little more…convincing for him to finally come home. You hummed and swayed your hips as you flicked on the light switch to the closet. Your heart skipped a beat as filed through several of his shirts. Your eyes lit up when you grabbed a crisp, white button-up.

“Just you wait, Miguel O’Hara,” you chuckled as you pulled it from the hanger. You quickly padded over to the full-length mirror in the corner of your room and stripped yourself of your t-shirt and sweats, kicking them to the side along with your panties and bra. You bit your lip as you slipped your arms through the sleeves of Miguel’s button-up. You tugged at the bottom of the shirt and swayed side to side, wondering what your first pose should be. 

A smirk eventually crossed your face as you opened your phone. You turned around and showed off your curvaceous bum. You glanced over your shoulder with a shy, half-lidded gaze as you arched your spine. You nearly squealed excitedly after taking the picture when you thought of another pose. 

You turned around to face the mirror again, this time pushing the sides of the button-up away to reveal your breasts. Your nipples hardened against the cool air as you puffed out your chest. You squeezed your thighs together before looking up, your eyes just barely peeking past the top of your phone as you snapped the picture. 

You giggled as you looked at the photos before one last pose came to mind. You shifted your thighs together while turning towards the bed. You grunted as you adjusted yourself on the edge of the mattress, gazing at your naked reflection in the mirror. The sheets rustled as you spread your legs apart and dug your heels against the edge of the bed. You bit your lip as you spread your puffy labia apart, revealing your tight, juicy hole. You exhaled quietly as you took the last picture, a ripple of pleasure and excitement coursing down your spine. 

You nearly fell as you scrambled to the bathroom to quickly wash your hands. Your cheeks were growing warmer by the second as you grabbed your phone and quickly typed a message: 

I feel so alone, bebé. Won’t you come home and give me some company? 🥺😘

You sighed and fell back onto the mattress after you hit “send”. Thoughts of him seeing the photos crossed your mind. You wiggled a bit when you imagined him stroking his thick cock as he stared at your exposed, slick cunt. Your excitement dulled with every minute that passed without his reply.

You nearly fell asleep before a sudden crack of thunder shook the apartment building. You jumped up and looked around wildly, hands bracing against your comforter. You sighed as heavy raindrops pounded against the windows, the neon lights of the city blurred behind your holographic curtains. You yawned and rubbed your eyes as you reached for your phone. You instantly gritted your teeth when you opened your messages. 

Delivered 7:04 PM 

It was almost 8:30 PM. You shucked off his shirt with a short huff before stomping back over to the closet. You rapidly tossed aside several of your clothes before your eyes landed on a short, black cocktail dress. The corners of your mouth turned up as you bit your lip. 

If only Miguel knew what you had in store for him…

•••

Your black heels clacked against the polished floors of the Spider Society’s HQ as you swayed your hips side to side. A few Spider-People brushed past you, some turning their heads as you continued your determined stroll towards Miguel's lair. You hummed to yourself as you held a bag in the crook of your elbow, the smell of empanadas lingering everywhere you walked. You nearly jumped back when a small, yellow hologram of a young woman jumped in front of you.

“I wouldn’t go in there if I were you. He’s in a mood tonight,” Lyla explained while pointing down the dark hall with her thumb. You bit the inside of your cheek.

“When is he not in a mood?" you replied. She pursed her lips. "Besides-I just wanted to bring him some food,” you said as you pulled out the plastic container full of empanadas. Lyla leaned forward stroked her chin contemplatively.

“Well…he hasn’t eaten in a while,” she reasoned aloud. You raised a brow at the AI. “Alright! Just don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Lyla said while holding her hands up. You smiled as she dissipated, turning your attention back to the long, dark hallway in front of you. Your heart skipped as beat as you stepped forward, the low humming of the electronics around you sending a shiver down your spine. It took a few minutes to trek down the hall, but eventually you walked through the wide opening to his lair.

You gasped when you gazed at the wide expanse of room, several different machines whirring and shifting around in unison. You slowly craned your neck up, sighing and shaking your head as you watched Miguel mechanically scroll through various holographic monitors.

“How did you get in here?” he huffed as he flicked two of his fingers across the largest screen and enlarged the video. You frowned as you rested your free hand on your hip.

“That’s for me to know and for you to find out,” you clicked your tongue. Your lover paused before pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You took the spare I had in my nightstand, didn’t you?” Miguel droned.

“Maybe,” you replied with a straight face. The large man grumbled.

“I don’t have time for your games. What do you want?” he grunted while waving his hand. You rolled your eyes at his abrasive tone.

“I just wanted to give my cariño some homemade empanadas,” you sang as you held up the bag. Miguel paused and turned his head.

“Empanadas?” he asked with a curious tone.

“Mhm,” you said as you took a step closer. The large man floating on the platform above you clenched and unclenched his fists as he turned around. You frowned when you saw his face: the bags under his eyes were dark and vibrant, his cheek bones protruding out more than usual.

“Fine,” he muttered as he slapped a button. You smiled triumphantly as the platform began to lower…centimeter by centimeter.

“Can you make it go any-“

“No. It only has one mode,” he replied bluntly. You raised a brow.

“You have the ability to create a trans-dimensional watch…and yet you made a platform with just one mode?” you piqued. Miguel narrowed his dark, crimson eyes.

“Do you want me to come down or not?” he asked. You sighed and tapped your foot as you waited. The platform eventually eased its way down before resting on the floor with a tired sigh. You sashayed over to him, your ass nearly spilling out of your tight dress as you stepped onto the platform. You frowned as Miguel went back to shifting through the various monitors, his bloodshot eyes locked on the giant screens in front of him.

“You can just leave the food on the desk. I'll be home after finishing this,” he grunted. You shook your head as you gently slid your hand over his wrist. Miguel blinked before drawing his gaze to your bright, half-lidded eyes.

“I have a better idea,” you murmured as you leaned closer. He tensed as you suddenly climbed onto his lap, spreading your thick thighs over his while smoothing your hand over his wide chest.

“(Y/N),” he said in a warning tone, his cheeks filling with a deep, rosy pink.

“Miguel,” you mimicked before tossing the bag to the floor. You quickly pulled the lid off the container, the savory aroma of the turnovers wafting through the air. You smirked as Miguel’s pupils slightly enlarged as steam rose up from the delicious, fried food. You cooed when you heard his stomach gurgle.

“You poor thing. You must be so hungry after working for so long,” you frowned. Miguel swallowed thickly as he tightened his lips. “C’mon hermoso-déjame alimentarte,” you whispered as you pinched his cheek [handsome; let me feed you]. He frowned as you pulled out one of the empanadas and traced it against his pouty lips.

“I know you want it,” you teased as you fully sank down onto his lap, grinding your ass against the top of his thighs. Miguel’s eye twitched as you continued to draw the corner of the empanada along his lips.

“(Y/N),” he grunted. You frowned and rubbed your other hand up and down his chest.

“Please Migs? I made them just for you,” you pouted and fluttered your lashes. Your lover sighed.

“Hijo de...alright. Fine,” he said with annoyed defeat. You smiled and lightly pinched his cheek again, making his frown deepen even more.

“Open wide,” you sang. Miguel scoffed.

“Ay coño. I’m not a baby, (Y/N),” he scowled. His eyes widened as you slowly pushed a bit of the golden, crispy empanada into his mouth. He moaned a little as you let the savory food linger on his tastebuds.

"There you go," you cooed. You wiped some crumbs from his mouth as he chewed, his cheeks flushing with pink at your simple touch. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he finally swallowed.

“So?” you asked. Miguel poked his tongue against his cheek.

“Good,” he replied bluntly.

“Just good?” you hummed as you brought the empanada back to his mouth. Miguel grunted he took another bite.

“What do you want me to say? Everything you make is excellent,” he said with a small smile. Your smile softened as you blushed.

“Gracias, mi amor,” you breathed as you wiped away some more crumbs [Thank you, my love]. You continued to feed him, his muscles relaxing with every bite he took. You heard his stomach growl again just as he finished swallowing his last bite.

“You want some more?” you asked as you already grabbed another empanada.

“Yeah,” he grumbled. You smiled and pressed the second empanada to his mouth. Miguel parted his lips as you fed him, your other hand stroking up and down his chest all the while. He sighed when you threaded your fingers through his dark, messy hair and lightly scratched his scalp.

His hands slowly came down to rest on your waist as he hummed in satisfaction with his final bite. You smiled and rested your head in the crook of his neck, relishing in the warmth of his chiseled body.

"Thank you for the meal, hermosa," he muttered [beautiful]. You nodded and traced your fingers a through his thick hair. “You know, I should’ve come home when I said I would,” Miguel sighed heavily. You tilted your head up and met his solemn gaze. “Maybe...maybe I've been working a bit too much,” he mumbled. His eyes softened as you cupped his cheek.

“I'm worried about you, Miguel,” you confessed.

“Cariño, I’ll be fine,” he assured you [Honey]. He frowned as tears welled in your eyes. “Hey…” Miguel said as he brushed his thumb across your cheek.

“Y-You haven’t taken care of yourself for the past few months. You never really come back to the apartment, and when you do you’re always so exhausted,” your voice shook. Miguel watched you silently as he kept his hand on your hips. “I love you, Miguel, and it breaks my heart to see you like this,” you sniffed as you gripped his suit. You stiffened when he suddenly pulled your chest flush against his as he buried his face into your neck.

“I’m sorry, cariño. I had no idea you felt this way,” Miguel said while wrapping his sturdy arms around your smaller frame. You nodded and squeezed him tighter. “But you understand why I have to be away so much, right?” he asked softly. Your bottom lip quivered as your heart sank.

“I-I do,” you said in a broken whisper. You took a deep breath as you pulled back, making sure to lock eyes with your lover. “Miguel…please promise me that you’ll at least try to take better care of yourself. For me…please…” you breathed as your puffy eyes glossed over. Miguel frowned as he wiped a loose tear trickling down your cheek.

“I’ll try,” he said with a gentle smile. You sniffed and nodded. He kissed the crown of your head as he rubbed your lower back.

“Gracias, bebé,” you murmured, your lips brushing over his collarbone. The two of you continued to hold each other for what felt like hours, your warm bodies pressed against each other in a quiet bliss. Your eyes snapped open when you eventually felt something hard brush against your crotch. A small squeak left you as Miguel squeezed your love handles.

“You know…you have been pulling me away from my work for quite some time,” he murmured playfully before squeezing your waist again, his lips dancing over your ear. You bit your lip and gripped his broad shoulders as you felt his cock twitch beneath you. “You've been quite the distraction, conejita,” he clicked his tongue as he slid his hand down your upper thigh. You gave a cheeky smile before wrapping your hands around the back of his neck.

“I can think of a few more ways to distract you,” you whispered as you arched your back. A low rumble came from his chest as he inhaled sharply, his crimson eyes lit with a burning desire.

"That's very tempting, but-" he was cut off when his phone started to vibrate. Your eyes widened as he reached over. Miguel sighed. "Sorry-my phone's been on Do Not Disturb for a while. I just need to check it for a second,” your lover said.

“O-Oh” you squeaked. Miguel smirked as he picked up his phone.

“Why are being so shy all of the sudden, hm?” he mused while opening his messages. You ducked your head into his massive shoulder just as his breath hitched.

“¿Qué es esto?" he piqued as he squeezed your leg [What is this?]. Your face swelled with heat as you remained stiff in his hold. You squeaked as he cupped your ass and tenderly squeezed one of your cheeks. "These are some very naughty pictures, princessa,” Miguel murmured as he kneaded your asscheek in his rough, calloused hand [princess]. “‘I feel so alone, bebé. Won’t you come home and give me some company?’” he read with a raised brow. You blushed as you felt his lips brush against the shell of your ear.

“¿Oh conejita...qué voy a hacer contigo?” he sighed as he bunched up the skirt of your dress [Oh bunny...what am I going to do with you?]. You shivered as the cool air fell over your exposed skin, your thong barely covering your dripping, puffy folds. Your legs shook as he dipped his fingers past the soaked fabric of your panties and teasingly rubbed at your labia.

“Puta. You should've waited for me,” he chastised [Slut]. You mewled as he scissored your folds apart with his thick fingers. You swallowed while gently bucking against his hand.

"L-Lo siento, Papi," you whined while humping his hand like a dog in heat [I'm sorry, Daddy]. Miguel rumbled as he slowly pushed two of his massive digits past the rim of your entrance.

"’Sorry’ won't do you any good now, muñeca," he husked into your ear [doll]. You choked as he spread your tight hole, shallowing pumping the pads of his fingers in and out with short, languid strokes. He licked lips. "That's what you are, right? Why else would you come in here wearing your shiny heels and tight, slutty dress?" Miguel whispered before pushing his fingers all the down to his knuckles. You gasped and clawed at his suit as he filled you to the brim.

"Mi lindo juguete para follar," Miguel grunted [My cute fuck toy].

“Papi," you whined as he curled his digits against your spongey g-spot, a spark of pleasure bursting through your dripping sex. Your walls tightened around his thick fingers as he pressed his soft lips to your temple. He continued to thrust his fingers in and out of your gummy walls. You panted and moaned as you rubbed your raw clit against the bottom of his hand, smearing your slick all over his palm. You gasped when you felt his other hand snatch the zipper of your dress.

"Did you really want to come take care of me, or were you just this desperate for my cock?" Miguel groaned against your neck as he peeled the zipper down.

"I-I wanted to take care of you-promise!" you keened. You moaned and rocked your hips in time with the pumping of his digits as the top of your dress fell down, revealing your skimpy bra. His eyes lit up when he saw your breasts jiggle with each shaky breath you took.

Miguel smirked before pressing a soft peck to the top of your cleavage. You moaned as he messily kissed down the space between your two tits, his fingers rubbing your walls even faster. He met your gaze just as your warm pussy began to flutter around his digits. You whined when he pulled his fingers out, leaving your hole a stretched out, drooling mess.

“Turn around, bebé,” he rasped before spanking your ass. Your legs trembled as you slowly turned around and steadied yourself on his lap, your dress shifting down your plush rolls. He kept your legs spread wide for him before he steadied his hands on your hips.

You gasped when you saw a quick flash of light before his massive length sprang free from his suit. Your core fluttered when his burning shaft slapped against your pussy, his flush tip smearing pre-cum over your sensitive clit. Your mind reeled as he slowly rocked your hips forward, glazing the top of his meaty cock with your juices. Miguel shoved his face against your neck and inhaled deeply and spread your pussy lips apart with his thick, veiny cock. You whined and curled your toes.

“Please Papi,” you cried as your pussy slobbered all over his dick. His deep chuckling made your walls clench.

“‘Please’ what, (Y/N)?” Miguel purred. You swallowed and gritted your teeth as his member throbbed against your sex.

“Please…I-I need your cock inside me, por fa,” you gulped [please]. You hissed when he paused, his meaty length resting against your needy cunt.

“Is that all?” he teased. You flared your nostrils.

“Please fuck me hard with your thick cock, Miguel!” you begged and desperately ground your aching pussy against his length. You gasped when he wrapped his burly arms beneath your knees and pushed your legs up. “M-Miguel!” you squealed as your giant lover made your back become flush against his front.

“Arms behind my neck, mi amor,” he instructed. Your heart nearly leapt out of your chest as you did as you were told, making sure to lock your fingers together. Your eyes widened as he stood up, the head of his cock teasing your tight entrance as he steadied his feet.

“If you’re going to come in here dressing and acting like a slut…” all breath was punched out of your lungs as he sank you down on his girthy member in one swift motion. Your body had little time to adjust before he raised you up again. “…then I might as well fuck you like one,” Miguel finished as he slammed you back down. You couldn’t hold back your moans as began to snap his hips up at a brutal pace. Your body bounced and jiggled as he spread your tight hole wide open with quick, sloppy thrusts.

“M-Miguel, fuck,” you moaned as you felt his dick massage every inch of your tight, gummy walls. You dug your nails into the back of his thick neck as he panted wildly, his hot breath fanning over your pulse.

“Mierda-you wrap around my dick so perfectly,” he moaned while squeezing the back of your knees. [Shit]. You whimpered in reply, your mind becoming too drunk on the pleasure that throbbed from your stretched cunt to give a proper response. You squealed as Miguel wrapped his lips over your neck and sucked over your pulse. You mewled as your hard nipples rubbed against the inside of your bra with every thrust.

“Mmm, love how you drench my cock,” he groaned against your fresh, wet hickey. You knitted your brows as your puffy clit throbbed and walls clenched. He grunted as your pussy gripped his veiny length.

“Yes, that’s it-make sure you keep hugging me just like that,” Miguel rasped. Hot tears of bliss seeped from your eyes as he sank you down effortlessly. “My sweet little cocksleeve-all for me to use and fuck and fill with my cum,” he moaned as he wildly thrusted into you.

“Fuck,” you sobbed as you felt the muscles in the pit of your belly start to tighten. Miguel grunted as your pussy gripped his girth.

“You’re going to cum already?” he laughed. Your face burned as you bit your lip. “We’ve only been going for a few minutes-surely you can last a little longer,” Miguel hummed. Your chest burned at the fact that he had so much control while you were quickly becoming a drooling, fuck-out mess in his arms. You panted and squeezed your eyes shut as you desperately tried to stave off your orgasm.

“I-I can’t help it! Feels too good, Papi!” you whined. Your eyes grew wide when you felt something cold press against your clit. You gasped when you saw a long, hard-light appendage start to rub tight circles around your sensitive bundle of nerves. Miguel smirked against your neck as he continued to use you as his personal flesh-light.

“Never thought I’d use my suit upgrade for this,” he confessed with an amused grin. You rolled your head back against his chest as it continued to massage your clit while his cock mercilessly dragged along your gummy walls. You squeaked when he spread your legs further apart, your muscles burning in a painfully delicious way.

“Tell me princessa: who does this pretty pussy belong to?” Miguel snarled. You sobbed and thrashed your head around as you found yourself rushing towards the edge of your release.

“Y-You!” you screamed. Your lover clicked his tongue as he slowed down his movements, drawing a high-pitched whine from you.

“Come now: you know better,” he rumbled. You blinked away hot tears as your chest quickly rose and fell.

“P-Papi owns this pussy!” you gasped. Your jaw went slack as he pounded into you again, your inhibitions thrown out the window as you screamed his name.

“Good girl-good fucking girl,” Miguel panted as he raked his teeth over your neck. Your entire body stiffened as you threw your head against his shoulder.

“P-Papi!” you cried out as you arched your back. Stars flooded your vision as your body trembled with pure, unforgiving bliss. Your walls contracted around Miguel’s cock as he kept pumping into your slick, tight pussy.

“Mierda,” he sucked in a sharp breath as you gripped his neck for dear life while your orgasm tore you apart. You babbled as a ring of cream gushed from between your two sexes and seeped down his shaft.

“Miguel,” you murmured as a string of drool fell past the corner of your lips, your high leaving only static humming through your brain. You moaned softly as your pussy convulsed for the last time, sending shockwaves of ecstasy through your nervous system. Miguel panted as he kept you flush against his large, chiseled body.

“Estoy aquí, bebé,” he breathed before pecking along your neck [I’m here, baby]. Your mind reeled at the sound of drenched “plaps” each time he brought his hips up. “You’ve made quite the mess on my cock, conejita,” he teased. You blushed and lowered your head. Miguel clicked his tongue.

“Ah, ah-I want you to keep your head up for me while I stuff you full of my cum,” he demanded. You shivered as his cock pistoned into your oversensitive sex, each stroke making your walls flutter and thighs clench. You gulped as you tilted your head up, the appendage still working on massaging and gripping your puffy clit with rapid strokes. Miguel sighed.

“You know, you really ruined my work flow-coming in here for a quick fuck,” he huffed. You whined at his words. “I can't think of anything more pathetic,” Miguel scoffed with a wide smirk. The tips of your ears burned as your pussy fluttered around his shaft, arousal coursing through your veins. Miguel sighed. “However...I also can’t help but want nothing more than for you to cum on my cock again before I fill you up,” he grunted. You arched your back as the appendage was nearly vibrating as it circled your clit.

“Fuck, Papi!” you mewled loudly as you felt the muscles in your lower tummy start to tighten all over again. Miguel grunted as he felt your cunt start to squeeze him in a vice grip.

"Say my name when you cum," he growled. You nearly choked on your own spit as your jaw went slack, the band deep inside you quickly snapping in two.

"Miguel!" you screamed as your walls convulsed around his massive girth, your vision clouded with white. Miguel growled as your cunt sucked him all the way against your bruised cervix, your walls eagerly gripping to his twitching length.

"Sí Sí Sí," he rasped as his thrusts began to stutter. You grew limp in Miguel's grasp as he heaved.

"Shit, I'm close. F-Fuck, (Y/N)!” he roared as he sank you down on his cock for the last time. Your eyes rolled back as he filled you, soaking the inside of your pretty cunt with his thick, milky white cum. Both of you moaned each other’s names as his cock throbbed and swelled inside your tight cunt. You gasped as hot ropes of his spend flooded your swollen walls.

“T-Take it. Take all of me,” Miguel panted as he rolled his hips, your pussy squelching as he continued to stuff you. Your greedy cunt milked him dry as his balls twitched beneath your puffy lower lips. Both of you panted as you caught your breaths, bodies swimming in the afterglow of your highs.

“You took me so well, cariño,” he purred before pecking the crown of your head. You gasped as he rolled his hips forward. "However, I'm afraid our night isn't over yet," Miguel husked. A sudden flicker of light grabbed your attention as Lyla appeared. The AI crossed her arms as she wore a cat-like grin.

“Damn, Miguel. You really put that porno you watched earlier to good use!” she mused while lowering her sunglasses. Your jaw immediately dropped as Miguel’s eyes widened. He gritted his teeth and furrowed his thick, dark brows as she faded away with a mischievous cackle.

“LYLA!” he bellowed.

————

Thank you for reading! ���

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[drxmxss]

do yall remember a week or two ago when taeyong liked that cute video of that couple staying up with their baby on reels…and everyone was like aww he wants to be a dad so bad how sweet…(or also that he wants to be pregnant but that’s neither here nor there)

edit: heres the link btw!

https://x.com/taeyongpictures/status/1739896348520980920?s=46

well! imagine you and him have been married over a year now and you start to notice he’s been having a bad case of baby fever.. always tagging you and sending you videos of cute little funny baby videos on tiktok and mommy vlogs saying “wouldn’t you look cute doing this?” and dragging you around the store to look at baby clothes bc how are hats that small!! just gushing and cooing at the itty bitty pink socks with bows and you swear you see a tear in his eye.

obviously you aren’t oblivious to this. you knew having a family was one of his goals, and it was yours too!! but both of you worked and even though he made enough to support the both of you and more, you’d assumed he would wait a while after marrying you, but after he had literally squealed in the middle of the store over a tiny pair of overalls you decided it was time to have the conversation with him again.

“honey…do you want to have a baby?” you ask softly one evening in bed, your arms are wrapped around his waist as you both start to fall asleep. taeyong almost breaks your arms flipping over so fast to look at you with bright wide eyes.

“why? do you? what brought this up? are you thinking about it?” he asks you quickly, hands on your shoulders. you smile softly at him, thinking how cute he looks when he’s so excited about this.

“well anyone would be stupid not to see how badly you do..you almost burst into tears looking at baby clothes and my entire fyp is just babies babies babies from everything you send me. you obviously do.” you say. taeyong frowns now, looking a little guilty “well yeah but..i don’t wanna pressure you if you aren’t ready..”

“Of course I’m ready my love..I just wanted to make sure you were.” you reply, hugging him close.

hearing that made taeyong snap almost instantly. that night he’d made it his mission to cum in you at least 3 times, saying “I don’t care if your birth control doesn’t wear off yet this is practice baby we gotta get ready for the real thing.” right after he makes a calendar marking the days of when you would be ovulating next.

“the real thing” turned into a big event for the two of you. you thought his baby fever would settle a but after telling him you were ready to start a family, but if anything it made it crazier. everyday he made sure to bend you over anywhere and everywhere to take him raw, at the blink of an eye he was ready and it always made you feel so special that he was that excited to breed you :(( he’d love how compliant you are and loves to just fill you up all day everyday. the thought of you round with his babies just sets something feral off in him.

and now instead of just looking at the baby clothes he was buying them by the rack not even bothering to care about the gender. “maybe we’ll get lucky and you’ll have twins.” he’d tell you. everyday a package came with a new pair of booties. “im not even pregnant yet taeyong!” you say, opening another box to reveal another pair of footie pajamas the perfect size for a newborn.

“i know but isn’t it the cutest thing baby?” taeyong coos, folding the pajamas neatly and storing them in the already too full closet in your shared bedroom.

one night, while he’s scrubbing your skin softly in the bath after yet another attempt he whispers “i think this time worked darling..i feel it..”and the thought alone makes you beam, his fever starting to rub off on you more and more. “i think so too my love..” you mumble back, admiring the way the water and his arms feel around you.

a few weeks later, you start to feel a bit ill and decide to take taeyong with you to the doctors office, a positive pregnancy result makes the both of you giddy, all smiles and kisses in the little observation room.

“by the way” the doctor says, flipping a few pages on the chart, “it looks like it’s twins!congratulations!”

you have to catch taeyong before he falls to the floor, but the excitement doesn’t falter still.

[jeonqkooks]

isn't it romantic? | myg (01)

ENTRY ONE: Me Before You

⟶ SERIES MASTERPOST

Many things in life have a polar opposite: left and right, night and day, yin and yang, you and Min Yoongi... Hopeless romantic meets gloomy cynic. The only thing you seem to share is a magazine column but even then, you still can’t seem to understand how Yoongi can be called ‘The Love Doctor’ when he is the antithesis of everything love represents.

pairing: yoongi x f!reader; side/past taehyung x f!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni)

genre/warnings: coworkers to lovers, magazine writers au, fluff, angst, eventual smut; central themes of cheating (not between yoongi and oc), swearing (a staple in this household 😗), one bit is a lilllll suggestive?, mentions of drinking, i think that's it hmmm, barely edited bc u know how we do

word count: 5.1k

note: this is the yoongi brainrot speaking !!! the banner for this entry is one of my all time favorite pics of him and i will find a way to use it in everything !!! but erhm yeah iir is officially starting and i'm very curious to see what y'all think about it 😗 please like it haha jk no i'm serious please like it it's my baby

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

I waste my breath on a prayer, you don't care, I was never a part of your plan, You can't make a God of somebody, Who's not even half of a half-decent man.

I Burned LA Down - Noah Cyrus

Half your life, you hated blue.

You often associated it with so many bad things - loss, betrayal, loneliness. The great big storm. The end of life.

Most of the pigtails-wearing girls in your class disliked it because it was often a boy’s color. You hated it because of a stranger on a beach.

Then you discovered Blue Side (as ironic as the name was), the magazine that everybody and their mother was reading. There was this column - the Love Maze (as corny as it sounded) - that had your 15-year-old self hooked from the first article you read, “Flirty Pickup Lines to Text Your Crush”. It gave you a nice little distraction from the reality of your fucked up family.

You’d get home from school and dive right into it. You could count on the maze for a new article every day, covering all kinds of things - cute little quizzes, daily love horoscopes, relationship tidbits…

You started reading it religiously because it was stupid, and fun, but it was more than that too. They covered real-life stories of actual people, which you’d never really thought about. For the most part, it was tedious. Rekindling with an old flame whilst grocery shopping, accidentally spilling coffee on a stranger who then asked you out on the spot, etc. Things like that. You found them so… unremarkable. 

But then it went beyond that, when they told their stories looking back on years and years after that first happenstance. How there was love in the mundane. How there was love every single day, even on the bad ones. How there was a spark that two people cared for and nurtured into a warm fire that never burnt out.

How there was love.

How there was always love.

To you, that was magical. It was something you’d only ever heard about in fairytales when you were a kid.

You still remember the exact moment when it all changed for you.

You met Kim Taehyung during your third week at Blue Side, where you were a wide-eyed assistant editor who somehow wiggled her way into a position there, and he was an effortlessly charming graphic designer.

Admittedly, the first time that you two had ever talked, wasn’t under ideal circumstances. You were tucked away behind the office building, nails digging into your palms at 3PM on a sunny but freezing afternoon, willing your tears to stay where they belonged. You’d felt severely underqualified, like you were only flailing about, trying to keep your head above water but something kept pulling at your feet, not stopping until you were at the very bottom. People always talked about how your early 20s were the most beautiful and freeing years, when you could truly live and feel your youth blossom all around you. But that just wasn’t true. Those were the loneliest years of your life.

Taehyung had found you then, while he was out for a quick smoke break. He could’ve made a lame excuse and left, or simply pretended to not notice you were even there, but he stayed. He approached you and asked what was wrong. He offered you words of reassurance and encouragement even though you were nothing but a stranger to him.

You were touched by his simple act of kindness and his endearing smile. Maybe it’s because you’d never been offered much kindness throughout your life that his small gesture seemed like everything. In a way, it was everything. He looked like the kind of fairytale love that you’d only seen in movies, only read about in Love Maze. To this day, a part of you still thinks that you fell in love with him the very second he asked, “Are you okay?”

The timing felt right.

Taehyung felt right.

He, too, was like the sun in the middle of a cold and isolating winter.

You remember the color of his sweater, and it was then that you realized blue didn’t have to be so bad after all.

[15:39] You: what r u doing tonight?

[15:45] Tae ♡: probably just head home after the gym. play a couple matches with Jungkook. hope i don’t die boiling water for ramen and hit the hay early

[15:46] Tae ♡: miss you :(

[15:49] You: thanks

[15:52] Tae ♡: mean

[15:53] You: lol 😇

[15:54] You: i miss you too <3

[15:56] Tae ♡: can’t you come back earlier?

[15:58] You: there’s only a week left. you’re a big boy, u can handle it :)

That was a lie. You were already on the train when you sent him that text, bouncing your leg all the way back to the city at the mere thought of surprising him with your early return. You’d taken a leave from work to visit your family, spent some time somewhere quieter, away from the hustle and bustle of the big city.

You watch as the scenery passes by, fast-paced like you’re in a montage. The rest of forever is right around the corner. You wish you could skip to your happily ever after and not have to rewind the tape ever again.

When the diamond on your ring finger catches the sunlight coming from outside the window, you allow yourself a blissful sigh as you gaze at the jewelry adorning your hand. But if you’re being honest, it doesn’t fit anymore, at least that’s what you’ve noticed over the past month. It’s a little loose now, not quite noticeable but you can still make out the slight difference if you concentrate hard enough. You should get it resized soon, maybe later this week now that your schedule has cleared up earlier than expected.

Three weeks is a lot of time to spend around only your family, you realize. You thought you could do it - seeing that you hadn’t been back in a while - but the second you stepped foot into your childhood home, you remembered what a dysfunctional household you had.

It was nice while it lasted, which wasn’t very long. You did all you could, bit your tongue and tried to suppress that unresolved anger until it eventually became too much to handle. Your mom has always been a complainer. Nobody likes talking about it, but she’d bring up the same old shit almost every day even though you all know what happened. Your dad would just sit there and listen as she berates him in front of you and your sister, and you suppose he keeps quiet because there’s really nothing to be said in his defense. It was his crime, and this is his punishment.

Sometimes, you wonder why dad still stays. Sometimes, you wonder why mom still lets him.

You just wanted to go, even though this was supposed to be home. You want to leave every time you visit, and it’s a haunting feeling that keeps following you around your whole life. Why is home always a place you want to leave?

When you arrived back in the city, the first place you went to was Taehyung’s apartment. You lounged about, enjoying the much needed silence after two whole weeks with your family, killing time as you waited for your fiance to return from work.

You thought about you and Taehyung, and how your wedding was only months away but this was still his place. You wondered why you hadn’t moved in yet, though it wasn’t for a lack of trying on his part. Even though you spent most days of the week at Taehyung’s, you still had your own place.

Twenty minutes before he was usually supposed to come home, you ordered from his favorite restaurant, so he would have a proper meal once he was back, instead of half-assing his dinner with flavorless ramen like he’d planned. 

But Taehyung didn’t come back, and the food has been cold for hours now.

You glance at your phone again.

11:02 PM.

No new notifications.

The last message you sent him was around 8:30 - just a simple Whatcha doing? - but he hasn’t replied. 

There’s a small part of you that goes into a dark place, and you physically have to shake off the thoughts. Taehyung has never given you a reason not to trust him, but still, the wandering thoughts can’t help themselves. Is it insecurity, or paranoia? Or have you been programmed to be skeptical after everything that’s happened?

Maybe he’s just caught up with work. Maybe the guys at the office had last minute plans. Maybe Jungkook showed up unannounced and dragged Taehyung into one of his shenanigans again. There’s a lot of reasons to explain why he isn’t home when he said he would be.

You wait for him. Sometimes, waiting is all you can do.

You don’t get any indication of life until some time after midnight, when the door opens and you hear him stumble into the hallway. The first thing that escapes you is a sigh of relief - relieved that he’s home, safe and sound, and not out there somewhere doing things you would really not even let yourself imagine. You sit there on the couch, shrouded by darkness, now even more committed to making him squeal out of his skin after (unintentionally) making you wait for hours like that.

You carefully listen to the sounds coming from down the hall, trying to time when you’ll jump up and shock him.

There’s his shoes dropping to the floor carelessly. There’s some shuffling as he moves about, navigating his way through the dark. There’s a light thud, the sound of something hitting the wall softly.

A sharp intake of breath. His familiar groan, muffled. A whimper, feminine.

Your mind instantly blanks, and that nervous breath from before has suddenly found its way back into your lungs, growing in size until you stand up and say, “Tae?”

Somebody shrieks, and it’s neither you nor Taehyung.

When he switches on the lights, you don’t know what to focus on first - your fiance with his shirt unbuttoned, red lipstick smudged around the corners of his mouth; or the woman next to him with her back against the wall, hair disheveled, one strap of her pretty blue dress pulled down.

Huh.

If this was what you wanted, then you suppose you succeeded.

Taehyung stares at you, eyes blown wide, mouth opening and closing dumbly as he searches for words. “Y/N, I-” he stutters, “w-what are you doing here?”

You’ve seen this exact moment in movies, read it in books and online posts on the Blue Side forum from people seeking advice. You witnessed your own mother go through it when you had just learned how to read. 

Your nails dig into the palm of your hands as you steady yourself. You’re not sure what your face is showing, if it’s even showing anything at all. You’re being pulled apart in every direction. Things that you felt as a child are things you never wanted to feel as an adult. It’s not until now that you finally understand why mom hasn’t gotten over it, even though it’s been decades. This is the kind of hurt that chases you wherever you go, never relenting until it makes sure it has a home deep within your bones.

You inhale a shaky breath, and take a step back when Taehyung starts approaching you. “Y/N, I’m so sorry,” he says, his voice cracking on the apology. 

You don’t want to hear any of it. You don’t want to be here anymore. For the second time today, you’re leaving home. For the second time in your life, home is being taken away again.

Somewhere in the back of your head, a tiny voice echoes, There it is.

You run out of there, feeling like the ceiling is going to collapse on you. You hear him call out your name, but his voice drifts further and further away as you move. Taehyung isn’t even following you. The faint scent of whiskey on his breath follows you out, but not him.

You keep moving until you’re out on the street, until you can’t even see the building anymore. You shiver from the chilly air, and the influx of emotions that threatens to make you burst. Lightning cuts across the night sky, flashing bright for a split second before everything dulls into darkness again. The forecast said it was going to rain tonight, you recall. Your phone in your bag vibrates the whole time, but still, no one follows you.

Your feet slow to a halt when the first drop of rain hits the ground. You’re not even sure how long you were walking, but now that you’ve stopped, you notice the shiver is gone. You’re standing completely still, and that those seismic waves in the center of your chest from earlier are nowhere to be found.

Oh. You’re doing it again.

Heavier drops start to dampen the earth.

You don’t know where else to go.

Not your own apartment. Not now. No, it’s too empty there.

Maybe it’s a sign from the universe, that you’re just undeserving of a place to belong.

You open your phone to find his name on your screen, next to the words (7) missed calls. You ring up the only person you can, and when she finally picks up, you say, “Can I come over?”

Even when your voice cracks, you don’t cry. The earthquake never comes.

Sohee takes you in like the good friend she is. You’re grateful that she was someone you could count on to always have your back at work, who then turned into one of your best friends outside of the office too.

She gives you some clothes to change into, and doesn’t question anything when you ask if you could spend the night. Though, you have a feeling that she knows who this is about. She leaves you alone to get some rest, but it’s probably because she has work in the morning too, and it was already 1:30AM when you interrupted her peace and quiet with the call.

You don’t sleep a wink that night.

Instead, you think about your mom, and how she must have felt when she found out about your dad’s infidelity, time and time again. It’s true what they say, children really don’t know a lot about their parents. 

How did she feel when she first found out? You can’t imagine what it must have been like, going through all of that while having two kids to think about too.

You feel bad that just yesterday, you’d been so annoyed with her that you cut your trip short.

Outside Sohee’s windows, the sky cries, like it’s grieving in place of you, its tears drowning the earth in waves of sorrow. For a moment, you consider stepping out there, to feel the rain on your face and in your hair. But in the end, you stay inside, where you’re sheltered and dry.

You don’t realize that the sun has risen until Sohee knocks on your - well, her - door. 

She cracks it open gently. “Babe?” she asks, tentative like you’re a cornered animal, ready to bolt at any given moment. “Are you up?”

You lie in her bed, feeling so foreign in your own skin. You reckon your eyes must be bloodshot from the lack of sleep. You haven’t even cried once.

“I’m alive,” you tell her, as you stare up at the ceiling. There are no stars here, just plain cream-colored paint.

“Okay,” you hear her say, then she pauses for a moment, clearly not knowing how to proceed. 

Sohee approaches you, sits on the bed, and gives you a smile. She pats your hair, and it reminds you of your sister. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong? I have some time before I meet Namjoon for breakfast.”

You sit up, reaching for your phone on the bedside table. It’s been switched off since you got here, and when you turn it back on, a flurry of texts light up the device until the screen lags. Messages from Taehyung, asking where you were, begging you to tell him if you were safe.

You open the texts to show him that you’ve read them. That should be enough of an answer.

You test the words in your mouth for a moment. “Taehyung cheated on me,” you say, thinking that if you verbalize it, it would be real and you would finally feel bad. That it was just a delayed reaction, that you were just too in shock to process anything. You want to feel bad, but it doesn’t work.

Sohee’s eyes widen almost comically. “Are you fucking serious?” she asks in disbelief, half because of the nature of the news itself, and half because of how calm you are.

“He cheated on me,” you repeat and still, nothing surfaces. If anything, it backfires. You can physically feel yourself doing it again - shutting down. “I caught him last night.”

You’re not sure what’s wrong with you. This isn’t a normal person’s reaction after they found out their fiance was cheating on them.

But.

It is a you reaction. 

You keep doing this, even when you don’t mean to. You ran away last night, and you’re running away now. Your body shuts out every negative emotion until you feel nothing at all. It’s stupid that you do this, and it’s stupid that you don’t know how to stop doing it.

Fight or flight, and you choose flight every time. Every single fucking time.

You wish you could give Sohee something, anything would do. Scream, cry, go back to your apartment to set fire to all of Taehyung’s belongings. Anything would be better than this complete lack of emotions you’re showing. 

You watch her face as it happens, things that you should be feeling but aren’t. She’s mostly shocked, angry, but not hurt. How could she? She wasn’t the one being played for a fool. You wish you could ask her to give you some of that anger, even if it’s only a fraction.

You don’t see Taehyung again until two days later, when he shows up at your door. Even when he’s standing in front of you, words spilling from his lips like prayers instead of apologies, you just feel… empty.

You let him inside, and the second that the door closes behind him, you fill up with unease. All your walls are up again, your system on high alert. Everything in your body is telling you that there’s an intruder in your space. Your feet are ready to bolt, just itching to get out of there Go, your head says, you’re not safe here.

Taehyung approaches you, tries to hold your hand, but you just shrug him off. The man in front of you visibly deflates, and despite the way his face falls, you don’t soften. 

The first thing he asks you is, “Why didn’t you cry?”

“What?”

“You don’t look like you’ve been crying,” he points out. “Did you cry?”

Reluctantly, you admit, “No.”

Then he just stares at you. When his judgmental gaze holds yours, you feel guilty. Guilty that you’re not mourning the death of this relationship. Guilty that you’re just letting it go, but the truth is you don’t have any fight in you. You don’t see the point in trying to salvage what’s no longer alive.

“Do you even love me?” His voice is hard when he asks this, like he’s trying to keep his anger at bay.

“Of course I love you,” you say, but it lacks conviction. You both know it. The words sound so flaccid coming out of your mouth.

But you love him.

You do.

Did?

“Then why didn’t you cry?”

How do you tell him that you can’t? That you don’t know how?

How do you tell him that if you could, you would reach inside and claw out your feelings like digging for water in a desert. 

What the hell is wrong with you? This isn’t a high school crush, or a casual summer fling.

You two were supposed to get married, for fuck’s sake. You were supposed to spend the rest of your life with him. If there’s anything that could make you break through those godforsaken defense mechanisms to let the hurt in, it should be this.

“Did you kiss someone else just to see if I would cry?” you ask. Your voice is even, and you can see that it makes Taehyung more frustrated than he already is.

He grits his teeth, exhaling. You notice his blue sweater, and you stop him before he can say anything else. Obviously, it looks a lot more worn than it did back then, but over the years you’ve always found it endearing. It’s the first memory that you have of him. It was always something you could cherish.

Now, you can’t even bear to look at it.

It’s then that you realize it doesn’t matter what answer he gives you. Yes? No? It genuinely doesn’t matter. There is nothing that can make you see him the same way ever again.

You run your thumb over the ring on your finger, twisting it for a moment to memorize the feel of it. It’s the last thing that ties you to him. “You can have this back,” you say, handing the piece of jewelry back to him.

When a relationship ends, especially for a reason like this, people tend to think it’ll go down in a kdrama-esque fashion - crying, slapping, throwing water in the other person’s face. But that’s not what this is. It’s not cathartic; sometimes the end of a relationship is just a fizzle, doesn’t even make it to a fullburn. It might be unsatisfying, but it happens every day. It’s not always a pivotal point; sometimes it’s just a point.

Taehyung stares at the object in his palm. “That’s it?” he asks in disbelief. “We’re breaking up?”

“What else is there to do?”

“You’re not even gonna ask me anything? Who she was, how it started, how long it’s been going on?”

The other morning, Sohee had asked you to elaborate after you told her what happened, but there was just not that much to tell. You were there. He brought someone else home. End of story.

It was enough for Sohee to call him every name in the book and curse his entire bloodline though.

You suppose that’s a reasonable reaction. Taehyung cheated. You never thought he was a person capable of doing that. Three years of your life, down the drain. There’s nothing left to save.

“Okay,” you shrug tiredly, like you’re just having a casual and dull conversation about the weather. “Who was she? How did it start? How long has it been going on?”

Your name comes out of his mouth, sounding like a scoff. “Ask it like you mean it.”

“But I don’t mean it,” you say. “What difference does it make? Knowing doesn’t change the fact that you still cheated on me. You know what I’ve been through and you still fucked it up. You did the worst thing you could ever do to me.”

“Fuck, I know that!” he groans, throwing his hands up. “I messed up badly, and I’m sorry. Y/N, I’m so fucking sorry. I will never deny that what I did wasn’t wrong. But have you ever stopped to think that maybe you’re to blame for this too? You never want to admit that it could be your fault too.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You tell me. I keep having to put up with your baggage.” Then he shuts right up, barely even makes it through the last syllable before he’s squeezing his eyes shut for a second, clearly realizing that out of all the things he could’ve said, that was grossly out of line. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean th-”

And now you’re getting angry for the wrong reasons.

“You cheated but somehow it’s my fault, right?” you snap. “Boohoo. Sorry that you’ve had to put up with me all these years. I’m such a burden, right? Fuck you, Taehyung.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“I think you should leave.”

You think it’s the steel in your voice as you say this that makes him stop arguing. 

He holds your gaze for a moment longer. You’re someone who tears up when you see stray dogs, who cries alongside the fictional characters in your favorite show. And yet, as you watch your own fiance leave…

The door clicks shut as he exits your life, but everything he said stays behind, clings to your walls and festers like mold.

The second you step onto the floor, everyone grows quiet. Lively chatter turns into hushed whispers. People go back to making their morning coffee, side-eyeing each other in a way that’s not meant to be very subtle.

You quietly make your way to your desk, all the while feeling the nosy pairs of eyes on you as you walk. You don’t know how word got out, but you were sure that everyone would know eventually. You just didn’t expect it’d be this soon. Sohee would never do that to you, and you highly doubt that Taehyung would go around broadcasting his infidelity. 

As you set your stuff down, you make eye contact with the new intern who sits a few spots away from you. You haven’t had the chance to talk to her much, but she’s a nice girl. She gives you a small smile in greeting, and even though you know she doesn’t mean to pity you, you can still see it in her eyes.

A minute later, Sohee comes up to you. “Hey, babe,” she says, leaning on your desk with two plastic cups in her hands. One iced latte and one mango smoothie. She puts the yellow-colored beverage down and nudges it toward you, a little lackluster and unlike her usual playful self.

“Thanks,” you say, taking the smoothie with a smile, commenting, “Interesting morning so far. Never thought I’d ever be the subject of office gossip.”

“Yeah, about that. Do you know who was Taehyung’s… uhm… y’know?”

It’s okay. She can say it. You can handle it.

You already feel nothing, and there’s nothing you can even do to rectify it. Might as well lean into it, right?

Or maybe you should just go to therapy.

“No,” you tell her. “I didn’t want to know.”

“Well, uhm, now that the whole office knows, I think you should hear this from me first…” Sohee bites her bottom lip as she gauges your reaction. When you only sigh and give her the go-ahead, she continues, “It was Yura from Marketing.”

“What?”

“Yura from Marketing. You know the one. Brought muffins for the whole office on her first day? A little too bubbly for my taste. But yeah, she was at work the other day and suddenly burst into tears at, like, 10AM, and that’s how everybody found out.”

Of course. Even though people here are surrounded by celebrity gossip on the daily, nothing beats the good old-fashioned office affair. Why bother with celebrity gossip when you have front row seats to live drama unfolding ten feet away?

You take a sip of your smoothie, swallowing down the inkling of irritation that tickles the back of your throat. “Well,” you say, “I’m glad the downfall of my relationship is like a circus animal for them to gawk at. Can’t wait until they move onto the next big thing.”

“Honestly, it might blow over sooner than you think. The Love Doctor is back today.”

“What?” Your ears perk up at the mention of his name, glancing up at her in surprise as you put your drink down. “Doesn’t he work at the Paris office?”

“He used to work here. We joined around the same time. Then he transferred to Paris a few years ago. Nobody even knows why. One day he just upped and left.”

“Why didn’t you tell me he’d be here? I didn’t have time t-”

“Calm down, sweetcheeks, I only just found out,” Sohee chuckles, holding a finger against your mouth to shush you. “We all know you used to have a major lady boner for him.”

“I do not.” You don’t even know what he looks like, just his name when it appears in the byline of an article. “I admire him.”

Which is true, you do admire him. He’s your own version of a freaking rockstar. Though, you have to admit that Love Doctor is a huge cliche of a nickname, and significantly reduces the scope of his brilliance. The way that man writes makes it seem like he’s experienced lifetimes and is now here to pass on his wisdom. 

He doesn’t feel like a mere magazine writer like yourself. There’s something in his words that turns you inside out, makes you experience things that you’ve never even gone through. He flows like poetry, and leaves you stunned every time.

Okay, maybe you do have a lady boner, but for his brain.

Which… is probably something you should never say out loud.

Someone walks in then, a man you’ve never seen before. He looks around your age, if not a couple of years older. He bypasses all of the other desks without saying anything, not a single Hi or Good morning. He doesn’t look like the type to speak if not spoken to.

Then he walks over to where you and Sohee sit, and sets his bag on the empty desk next to yours.

You look at Sohee, and she just shrugs.

It can’t be him. Surely, it’s not…?

“Min Yoongi,” she says in greeting.

Oh, it is.

He spares her a nod before he looks away again. “Sohee.”

Is that the Parisian way? Is that how people normally greet someone they haven’t seen in years? Sohee and him were only colleagues, but still, the least you could do is pretend.

You’re not one to judge a book by its cover, but c’mon, seriously? Were you wrong for expecting the person who writes about love in its most raw and beautiful form to look… not like Grumpy Cat personified? It makes you even more fucking intimidated. And he’s going to be sitting next to you? The fuck?

As he sits down, you blink, still a bit dazed, not sure how to process this. Sohee gently pushes you forward, which makes you nearly stumble right into him. You turn to her with a glare, but she just motions to him, mouthing ‘Go on.’

You clear your throat, wiping your hand on your pants before you hold it out. “Hi, I’m Y/N. It’s so nice to finally meet you,” you say, trying to sound as professional as you can. “I’m really looking forward to working with you.”

He glances at you, and reaches out to meet your outstretched hand in a barely-there handshake. “Yoongi.”

��� all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 07.05.2023]

[moonlightspencie]

Help Me Hold on to You

Description: Ted and the reader struggle with balancing mental health and everyday life. (Based on The Archer by Taylor Swift)

Pairing: Ted Lasso x fem!Reader

Warnings: depictions of anxiety and panic

Word Count: 8.9k

A/N: one of my all time favs that i’ve written (and, not to sound conceited, one of my favs in general bc it was super self-indulgent hehe). originally posted on tumblr. then dropped onto ao3. now it’s back on tumblr.

“Hey, Y/N. Whatcha up to?” Ted burst into your shared office, a wide-eyed look on his face.

You shook your head with a smirk, “Just going over the last game, trying to figure out what we can do better next time.”

You paused the video on your laptop, shutting it and looking up to him expectantly. He pulled a chair up next to you, suddenly looking a little nervous.

“I know that look, Ted. What’s wrong?”

He shook his head, plastering on a smile. “Nothing.”

“You wouldn’t have come interrupting me unless you had something you wanted to talk about.”

His face dropped, nodding slowly. “I’m getting kind of sick of you reading me like a book, sweetheart.”

“No, you’re not.”

He chuckled, looking back at you. “Okay, guilty. Uh, I’m not sure how to address this, so I guess I better just come out and say it, huh?”

You nodded back at him, silent, but with a reassuring smile.

He clapped once. “So, uh, nobody really knows about this, but I’ve been dealing with some anxiety lately. I, uh— I don’t really want anyone knowing about it, so if you could…”

“I’ll be quiet as a mouse in a trap.”

He raised a brow. “Morbid.”

“My colloquialisms can’t be as silly and polished as yours, friend.”

He smiled. “Guess not. Don’t really have room in my head for ‘em right now, though.”

You shrugged. “That’s okay. I like you whether or not you’re acting like a landscaper’s favorite machine.”

He paused for a moment, trying to put the pieces together. Then, his face lit up.

“Chipper?”

You simply pointed at him with a wink.

“Nice,” he said with a smile. He looked back down to his hands, smile melting. “So, um, I guess I just wanted you to know. That was the reason I had to leave the game, actually. It wasn’t food poisoning, but it just seems easier to let people believe that, you know? But, anyway. You seem to be good with these kinds of things, and I just… I don’t know.”

“Sometimes it’s nice just to tell someone, yeah?”

He nodded with a small grin. “Rebecca’s seen it happen once, but I think that’s about it. I made an appointment to speak with the doc, but I just couldn’t.”

“Why not?”

He shrugged, head shaking. “It’s bull.”

“Ted, you remember what you told me when I talked to you about my issues with trust?”

He raised a brow. “I told you nobody good would hurt you like…”

“You told me that all people are different people. You’ve said it a few times around me, I know you’ve told other people the same. And you know what?”

“What?” His brows sat raised.

“You need to start taking your own advice.”

“I don’t like when you do that.”

“Do what?” You laughed.

He chuckled with you. “When you’re right. I’m not supposed to be a quitter, either.”

“Not for the good things, anyway, huh?”

He nodded. “Thank you.”

He started standing, but you stood with him before he could go anywhere.

“Hey, there’s something I want you to know, too.”

“Shoot,” he said, gesturing for you to continue.

“I deal with anxiety, too. A lot, actually.”

He furrowed his brow. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t want you to worry.”

“Well, now I am.”

“Don’t. I can cope, I just— I want you to know you’re not alone in this, okay? I get panic attacks, anxiety attacks, I deal with more minor symptoms pretty much every day. And you know what? It doesn’t make me any less of a person. Doesn’t make you, either.”

You saw the tears that began to prick his eyes, but decided to leave that situation alone. Instead, you pulled him in for a hug. He hugged back hard, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You heard him take a few shaky breaths before he pulled back, wiping at his eyes.

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t ever apologize for vulnerability. Least not to me, cause I know exactly how you’re feeling and it’s okay. I promise,” you reached for his hand, giving it a squeeze.

He smiled at you, trying to hold back from letting any more tears fall.

“Thank you.”

“It’s nothing, Ted. I do want you to try going back to doctor Sharon, though. She’s a good woman.”

He nodded, glancing at where your hand still held his own. He squeezed it again, then left you to get back to your work. You sat for a while, unable to focus on anything but what he’d told you. You hoped like hell he had really listened to you.

It wasn’t until the next day that you’d found he’d both listened to and simultaneously completely ignored you. You were walking down the hall from the office when you saw him.

“Hey,” you called out to him, both hands on his chest to stop him from moving when you got close enough. “Your appointment is supposed to be right now. What happened to—”

“I can’t do it.”

He grabbed one of your wrists, trying to move you. You refused to budge.

“No. Uh-uh. Why did you leave?”

“I’m not talking to someone who’s only there cause she’s paid.”

You raised a brow. “Excuse me, Lasso. Are you not getting paid to do your job?”

He huffed out a sigh.

“Don’t you get attitude with me,” you dropped your hands, but didn’t move from where you stood. “I gotta go, but you’re trying again tomorrow, you hear me?”

“Y/N—”

“You’re going. Non-negotiable.”

He dropped his shoulders. “Fine. I’ll try.”

You nodded once, a smile of victory on your face. “And by the way, I think Keeley’s smoking in the boot room. Might wanna see what that’s about, yeah?”

He tilted his head, a chuckle leaving him. You patted him on the shoulder as you passed to leave the building.

Your day from then on was a long one. You were running around with Beard for part of it, trying to work on strategy for the upcoming game against Man City. The whole Richmond team was on edge, and you were beginning to worry that the nervousness alone might end up being the end-all to the game. You were a firm believer that winning had as much to do with the power of the mind as the power of the body. If they were going in thinking they were going to lose— lose they would.

“That’s a little dramatic,” Beard said over his beer.

You rolled your eyes, sipping at your drink.

“It’s not. Same line of thinking as Ted’s ‘Believe’ sign. I’m just being a little more explicit about what I mean when I say it.”

He chuckled. “You two are more alike than I think you even realize, you know?”

“I think I realize.”

“Do you?”

You shrugged, nodding slightly.

“Both crazy about this team, and even more crazy about you,” you teased, flicking at the brim of his hat.

He hid a smile behind his glass. “Your never-ending optimism and knack for flattery is also pretty similar.”

You hummed in agreement. “Can’t argue with ya, there.”

“So, what do you think we should do, then?”

You shrugged. “Find some way to cheer up the team. Get them excited for the game rather than scared of losing.”

He nodded, brows raised. “Any way of implementing that?”

“I’ll figure it out, I’m sure.” You leaned back. “Remember that game against Kansas State? Our boys were so freaked about it all, then Ted did his thing and got them so excited to play…”

“Beat their asses.”

“Yeah, we did.”

You both went in for a quick high five before continuing.

“Remember how he did it?”

“Told ‘em they needed to loosen up. We had a dance party and ordered pizza.”

You smiled. “Yep. What do you say we make something like that happen again? Day before we travel, let’s do it.”

He smirked, a brow raised. “Sounds perfect. You gonna tell Ted?”

You shrugged. “I think he could use the surprise just as much as the players.”

He narrowed his eyes at you.

You put your hands up. “What’s that look about?”

He just shook his head silently.

“I’m not treating him any different.”

He raised a brow, sipping at his drink again.

“Ted’s been going through it lately, I just think he needs a little cheer up. Nothing else.”

He set down his drink, then sat up straight, eyes still trained on you.

“Quit lecturing me, Beard,” you chuckled. “I know you always think I have some thing for him, but why can’t it just be that I care about people, huh?”

“I see through it.”

You paused for a moment. “I hate that.”

He smirked, and you both finished eating.

You went home yourself, denying a walk-back from Beard. You appreciated the gesture, but the air was beginning to feel thick and suffocating. The last thing you wanted was for him to see you like that.

As much as you tried pretending like the state of the team wasn’t affecting you, you knew that trying to be the fixer for this situation was weighing on you. More than you thought it would.

You tried swallowing, feeling your throat pretending to swell just to spite you. You rushed even faster towards your flat, feeling that the oncoming attack wasn’t going to be so routine.

As soon as you were in your door, your knees hit the floor, head between your arms on the carpet. You tried to control your breathing, but it was no use. Tears fell, though you’d hardly noticed as you’d refused to open your eyes. The bleariness you were bound to find if you opened them would only make the situation worse. You began to worry about passing out if you couldn’t control your breathing, and decided to roll yourself onto your side, whole body pushing through tremors you hadn’t felt in a few months, at least.

The ringing of your phone didn’t aid your situation. You desperately hoped it wasn’t an emergency, because there was no way you’d be able to make it over to where you’d dropped your purse. But, it kept ringing. Four separate calls over the span of probably half an hour.

It was another good half an hour after the calls had stopped before you were composed enough to open your eyes, and pull yourself into a sitting position on the ground. Though, you wouldn’t have known. Time never seemed to make any sense in those situations.

You worked on breathing in and out slowly, wiping away at any remaining tears. The shaking hadn’t yet ceased, but at least that was manageable. Right as you started trying to stand, you heard the loud buzzing of someone asking to be let in. You made it over, asking who was there.

“It’s me. Are you okay?” Ted’s voice came through.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Hang on,” you said, letting him in.

It wasn’t long before a knock was at the door, and you wished he wasn’t so quick. No amount of post-panic-primping in a fifteen-second slot could make you look presentable enough to get past him. You opened the door, putting on a smile and hoping he would be too preoccupied with something else to look directly at you for too long.

His face dropped the second he saw you, of course.

“What’s wrong?”

You shook your head. “I’m okay.”

He walked in, leaving you to close the door and follow him.

“No way, McConaughey. You can’t hide tears from me, I got eagle eyes for that sort of thing.”

You crossed your arms. “I’ve just had a long night.”

He watched you for a moment, picking up on the fact that you wouldn’t be sharing any time soon. He nodded slowly.

“Okay, that’s fine. If you don’t want to talk right now, that’s okay,” he smiled softly, then wrapped you in a tight hug.

You welcomed it, arms wrapping around his middle, head buried in his chest.

“You were honest with me,” you started after a moment, “so, I guess I should be with you. I just came down from a pretty bad panic attack. I couldn’t breathe, hardly made it home… I just—”

“It’s okay,” he said, rubbing your back as he spoke. “We don’t have to talk about details. Thank you for telling me.”

You nodded. “Thank you for coming.”

“You always answer when I call. I knew something had to be up.”

“What if I was just in the shower?”

“You still always call me back right away. I had over an hour of radio silence from you.”

You chuckled. “I didn’t know you had it down to such a science.”

He laughed back, pulling away from you just enough to see your face.

“There she is,” he said, a smile on his face.

“And she is a mess.”

“We all get a little messy sometimes, though, don’t we?”

You nodded. “Gotta agree with that.”

He looked at you for a moment or two with a soft smile on his face, and as much as you didn’t want to admit it, especially since Beard was also on your ass about it, that was the moment you knew. You felt your heart rate pick up, and didn’t know what to do but escape. You stepped back, leaving him looking a little confused.

“I think I need some sleep, Ted.”

His eyes were wide, looking at you. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I’ll be fine. I just need time alone, now. I need rest.”

“Okay, yeah,” he nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Uh, alright, well I will see you tomorrow bright and early, right?”

You nodded, giving him a quick smile.

“Anything else I can do for you?”

You shook your head. “No. I’m okay.”

He nodded again, watching you with those big, worried eyes. You wished he would stop with that. He waved a quick goodbye, leaving you alone.

You settled into bed, though you were unable to sleep. You couldn’t stop thinking about the team. Or Ted. Or the fact that you couldn’t help but self-sabotage any chance you got. You wiped away a few stray tears, and closed your eyes, hoping sleep would take over soon.

You woke up from a couple hours of sleep to a text. Of course, from Ted.

- Excited to see you today for coaches meeting :) I’m proud of you

You sighed, setting your phone down next to you. The guy didn’t seem to have a single mean bone in his body, and here you were wallowing in the fact that you couldn’t help but feel like you brought down everyone around you. As much as you tried to remain positive in every situation, you knew your mood affected the people around you whenever you were a little down in the dumps. You got up, hoping you could at least try to disguise it as well as possible for the day. At least for the morning.

You stopped to get coffee on the way in, delivering each drink with a smile. You sat next to Ted to watch the tapes, giving him the most convincing smile you could.

“You seem better today,” he said quietly, a smile on his face.

You nodded. “Yeah.”

The next few days you were preoccupied with setting up the party for the team, and luckily it kept you busy enough to not fall back into the hole you’d had to crawl out of. If there was one thing you were proud of, it was your ability to pull yourself out of the hardest places. Maybe it wasn’t always through the best methods, but you figured that doing what you needed to was working just fine. If it ain’t broke, after all.

“Howdy, howdy!” Ted chimed, walking in.

You shut your laptop quickly, still taking pride in the fact that you were successfully keeping the event from him.

He quirked a brow, nodding towards your laptop. “What’s that about?”

“Nothing you need to worry about right now. What’s up?”

He rubbed his hands together, leaning against your desk with a cheesy grin.

“Guess.”

“You got another jar of barbecue sauce?”

He laughed. “Yes, actually, but that’s not what this is all about, buttercup. It’s about you.”

You furrowed your brow. “What?”

“Well, kinda,” he said with a light chuckle. “I’ve been seeing the doc a lot more frequently, now.”

You lit up. “Oh, I’m so proud of you!”

“You’ll be even more proud in a second. Get this, she actually said that she’s glad me and you are friends.”

You crinkled your nose, laughing. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I told her about all of your help over the past few sessions, and she told me to tell you, little lady, that I am lucky to have you.”

He nudged your shoulder as he ended the sentence, and you hoped he wouldn’t notice how you tried hiding a smile.

You felt heat rise to your cheeks as he finished out by saying, “I gotta say, I agree with her.”

“In that case, you’re welcome.”

He smiled again, hopping up to sit on your desk. “So, what are you up to?”

“You’ll find out later. Later today, actually.”

He raised his brows. “Oh yeah?”

You nodded, “Mhm. I really think you’re gonna love it, too.”

He gasped, “Did you get me those funky shoes from Gucci I showed you the other day?”

“What?” You scrunched up your face. “No, of course not. Those things were horrible.”

He paused, as if to say something, before raising his brows and nodding in agreement.

“Okay, so what is it?”

“Wouldn’t be much of a surprise if I told you, would it?”

He dropped his shoulders. “Aw, come on. Telling me you have a surprise and not saying what it is… That’s worse than telling your dog you’re going on a walk then leaving him home.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“You’re right, that’s just evil. But you know I like to know things.”

You reached over, patting his knee. “I know, but I think you can survive til after practice.”

“Training,” he corrected.

“Ted, we’re both American. You don’t need to adjust your language with me.”

“See, that’s why I love talking to you,” he laughed, poking at your shoulder.

You shook your head, “Okay, now get out of here so I can finish up.”

“I’ll see you at practice, huh?” He raised an eyebrow, looking a little too pleased with himself for switching up his terminology.

You laughed. “See you there, coach.”

Beard walked in a while later, looking at you expectantly.

“Yes, I’m almost ready. Pizza will be here about ten minutes before we’re done, so I’ll excuse myself a little early, and I’ve got Keeley and Higgins doing some decorating in the locker room while we’re out.”

“You know my favorite thing about you?” He asked as he sat down in his seat.

“Fact that you don’t have to actually say anything to talk to me?”

He smirked, nodding. “Exactly.”

You both laughed, then sat back and waited for the boys to make it to the locker room. Ted came in, a big smile on his face as he did.

“Hey, there are two of my favorite people on this whole planet!”

“Still not telling you,” you said, giving a glance at Beard.

He only shook his head, going back to his book.

“Hey!” Ted exclaimed, pointing to Beard. “You know, too?”

“Know what?” Nate asked as he walked in.

You kept talking, “Keeley and Higgins, too. Oh, and Rebecca, actually, but she can’t be a part of it today.”

Ted glared at you as he went to his desk chair, Roy coming in behind him as he did.

“You talking about what Keeley told me she can’t tell me about?”

“Yep,” you responded, leaning back in your seat.

He grunted in response, arms crossing over his chest. You all worked on the game plan for ‘training’, then headed out with the team to get started on the last home practice before the big game. You knew nerves were high the whole time, and were all the more focused on making sure your little pizza party was a relief for everyone. You excused yourself to bring in the pizzas with your two accomplices, and then waited outside the door until the team came barging in. You heard shouts of approval from them all as they saw the decor and food, smiling as the work you’d done was starting to prove to be a good idea. Beard and Ted wandered in a moment after the last boy was in the locker room, a smile on Ted’s face as he heard them all.

“This the surprise?” He asked as he approached you.

You smiled, nodding. Beard moved past you to enter.

“Remember Kansas State?”

He raised his brows, smile only growing. “You didn’t.”

You nodded once more. “I did.”

He scooped you up in a hug, spinning you around.

“You are the best,” he said, setting you back down with a kiss to your cheek. Luckily, the smile on your face could easily be chalked up to the surprise paying off rather than the show of intimacy from your friend. “Well, come on, let’s shake a leg so I can shake some booty.”

You laughed at that, following behind him into the chaos.

“Hey!” He called out to everyone. “Y’all say thank you to Y/N for all this.”

A chorus of ‘thank you’s erupted, and you laughed as Ted pulled you into his side.

“Couldn’t have done it without Keeley and Higgins, y’all. They did all the decorating, I just recycled an old idea of coach, here.”

The team chuckled, then went back to celebrating as the music started.

He looked to you, eyes narrowed. “You’re being way too modest. This happened cause you put your heart and soul into this team.”

“I learned from the best, Lasso.”

He looked at you quietly, a small smile on his face, then shook his head. He pulled you into the small crowd, and you all spent the next couple hours letting loose before you had to check in with reality again.

The party seemed to have helped. Morale was up as you prepared for the game, and at minimum you knew that even if you still lost, they likely wouldn’t take it quite as hard. That helped your conscience, if anything.

One more thing that took a weight off of your shoulders was what happened before the game even started. Ted told the other coaches about his struggles with anxiety before the game. He came clean about it all, and you knew he felt good about finally letting it go to them. As the others started walking out, you held him back, making sure he knew just how proud of him you were.

“I wish I had your confidence.”

He patted your back. “But, you also love your privacy. That’s okay, you know? You also do a much better job holding it down than I do when it comes to this type of thing.”

You swallowed. “I’m not so sure about that. I know how to cope the best way I can, but I think it’s much more brave that you decided to open up to them about this.”

“Hey, don’t be hard on yourself about this,” he said, a hand on your shoulder. “Besides, I’m only doing okay right now cause I’m seeing the doc so often.”

“You saying I need to see someone about this?”

He shook his head. “No. You helped me realize that, for me, going to see her was what I needed. I hope in some way I can help you realize that you should do whatever is best for you. We’re all different people with different experiences, right?”

“Right. Thanks, Ted.”

You sighed. Leaning into his side for a moment, then broke away, clapping once.

“Okay, now let’s go win this.”

The game was lost, but everyone moved past it. You knew most of that was because of Ted and his affection for the goldfish attitude, though he tried like anything to convince you they wouldn’t be feeling so okay if it wasn’t for the little morale boost you’d given everyone before it all started.

He’d also inadvertently managed to convince you to see Dr. Fieldstone.

You knocked on her door, and she looked up from her seat to see you staring at her with a smile from the doorway.

“Come on in, coach,” she said, gesturing at the chair in front of her.

You nodded, looking around the room as you sat. You noted the little bird next to you, tapping it just enough to get it going.

“I like your decorations,” you said with a smile, then looked back at her. “Also, please call me Y/N. I hardly let the boys get away with calling me coach outside of games.”

She smiled. “I see.”

“So, uh, it’s good to finally talk with you. I know we’ve seen one another in passing a few times, but I’ve been exceptionally busy lately or else I would have come and given a proper hello. I really appreciate all of the work you’ve been doing with the team. You seem like a very kind, compassionate woman. I’m happy to have you here, honestly.”

She just watched as you talked, a light grin on her face as you did, though most of the humor rested in her eyes.

You paused for just a moment, though when she didn’t speak up, you took it as an invitation to keep going.

“Uh, so, I’m not really sure how this goes. I’ve only been to see a therapist once before and it didn’t go great. Though, I promise I won’t hold it against you. I’ve just learned how to cope on my own after that experience, but Ted kind of convinced me to try to find what would work best for me moving forward, and I thought—”

“I see why you two are so close,” she chuckled. “I feel as though I know you already.”

Your brows raised. “Really? How so?”

“Well, between how talkative you’ve become now that you’re nervous, and the fact that I’ve heard quite a lot about you in general, I’d say I have an idea of who you are.”

You let out a quick laugh. “Gosh, I’m sorry. I get kind of chatterbox-y when I talk to someone new.”

“Or when you get nervous, yeah?”

You nodded slowly, looking down for a moment. “Yeah. That, too. Guess it kinda goes hand-in-hand with some of my anxiety business, huh?”

She shrugged, though gave you a look that implied she’d agreed with your statement. You smirked, as did she.

“You said you’ve seen a therapist once before?”

You nodded. “Yes, but it didn’t seem to help. They hardly listened to me, and then told me that maybe exercising and breathing exercises would help. Gave me that advice four sessions in a row without really ever caring to know why I was dealing with panic and anxiety and everything else.”

She raised a brow. “I’m sorry you had to experience that. Now, I know you might not be able to trust me—”

“Oh, no. I totally trust you, Doc. I’ve seen how great you’ve been with the team, and I learned from a good friend a long time ago that everyone has a different story. You don’t deserve to be compared like that.”

Her brows really shot up with that being said. She nodded slowly, writing something down as she did.

“Well, thank you for that. That was kind of you to say.”

You smiled at her. “I appreciate you. Really.”

“This need to reassure the people around you, do you think that might have anything to do with what you’re struggling with?”

Your eyes widened, almost shocked at the statement. You understood now how she’d made so much progress with Ted. You continued talking about what you needed to, but the session was coming to a close quickly.

“Uh, one more thing, doc?”

“Yes, Y/N?”

“Thanks for what you said about me to Ted.”

She quirked a brow. “And what was that?”

“You told him I was good for him.”

“You are,” she said, nodding. “I think the both of you need to be reminded that you don’t always have to turn on the personality for someone to love you. I think you do that well. Both of you.”

You chuckled. “You… Are one wise woman, Dr. Sharon.”

She laughed. “I am pretty great at my job.”

“Well, thank you again,” you said, starting to walk towards the door.

“Y/N,” she called out, and you turned. “Try to remember that the whole world isn’t on your shoulders, yeah? You believe everyone deserves to know love and comfort, but you are one of those people, too.”

You nodded, taking in a deep breath, then said your goodbyes. You pulled out your phone as you left her office. Being the last appointment for the day, you knew most people had already gone home, but you felt like getting some food. You dialed Ted’s number and waited expectantly, heading towards the door.

He answered, but didn’t speak.

You furrowed your brow, exiting the building.

“Ted?” You asked, waiting for a reply.

His voice came through, shaky and nervous-sounding. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Whoa, hold on, what’s up with you?”

“I— I’m kind of…” he trailed off, taking in a hard breath.

“Are you at home?”

You started walking more quickly, heading towards his flat.

“Yeah.”

“I’m coming to you, okay?”

You heard a sniffle on the other end, and a weak ‘okay’ in response. You hung up, and practically ran the rest of the way there. He buzzed you in, and you were up the stairs, bursting into his apartment in no time. He was sitting on his couch in his undershirt and khakis, clearly having been in the middle of undressing when he got hit with whatever ailed him.

You rushed over to the couch, standing next to him. He looked up at you, still crying.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You asked softly, reaching over to touch his arm.

He shook his head. “Not yet.”

“Can I hug you?”

He nodded quickly, standing up and clinging to you like a child. You held him, hands rubbing up and down his back as he cried, head shaking every so often, disagreeing with the thoughts in his own head.

“I can’t even…” he trailed, mumbling against your shoulder.

“What is it, hun?” You asked, still trying to calm him as much as possible.

“Am I a shitty dad? I don’t—”

“No, no. Of course you aren’t.”

“I can’t even pick up my son from a sleepover. He had a nightmare and wanted to go home and I couldn’t be there for him,” he turned his head, cheek against your shoulder now.

You reached up to run your nails through his hair. “You’re like the best dad I could think of. Even thousands of miles apart, you spend more time talking to your kid than I ever got with my dad in the same house. He knows you love him.”

“I quit on his mom. I’m not supposed to be a quitter.”

“You didn’t quit. You didn’t forfeit. Game time was up, the match was over. Nothing you could do at that point, Ted.”

He sniffled, then nodded. “You really think so?”

“You were both fighting so long for something that only hurt the both of you. It was coming to an end naturally. You just finally had the strength to let it end, even though it was hard.”

He nodded again, and fell silent for a few minutes, still holding on to you for dear life.

“Ted?” You asked.

He hummed in question.

“Can I get you some water? I don’t want you to get dehydrated.”

“Yeah,” he said, then let you go, sitting back on the couch.

You filled up a glass from the tap, handing it to him and kneeling in front of him. He drank some, then handed the glass back to you to set down on the coffee table.

“Good, thank you for drinking some,” you smiled.

He laughed humorlessly. “I’m a child.”

“You just need to be cared for a little bit right now. I know stuff like this is all new to you still, I don’t think being comforted and coddled a little is gonna hurt all that much.”

He smirked. “I guess not. Thank you. For coming here.”

You stood, going to sit next to him.

“It’s nothing. You’d do the same for me. Heck, you kind of have already, you just didn’t have to witness the crying part.”

He chuckled. “That’s… Embarrassing. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not embarrassing at all,” you said, then leaned back into the cushions. “You feel like food?”

“I don’t know if going out right now—”

“I was going to order in. Thought we could watch tv or a movie or something and hang out for a while.”

He looked to you with a soft smile, nodding.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

The next day, you woke up feeling better than you had in a while. You felt well rested, and even went to pick up coffee for everyone despite it not being a film-watching day. You made your way to the office, though you found it much more somber than you were expecting.

“Whoa,” you started as everyone watched you walk in with the tray of drinks. “Who died?”

Apparently that was a poorly timed question.

You showed up at the funeral, heading right to Rebecca for a hug.

“Hi, love,” you said, squeezing her a little tighter than normal. “You okay?”

She nodded. “I’m alright.”

You pulled back, giving her a smile. “For what it’s worth, you look hot.”

She laughed, “Charming as always, my friend.”

“It’s what I do best.”

You heard the squeal of Keeley before you saw her.

“You look gorgeous!” She said as she hugged you.

“Babe, it’s a funeral.”

“Still look hot,” she said with a grin before moving on to Rebecca.

You gave a quick hello to Roy.

“She’s… Weird about funerals.”

You nodded. “Right. Well, I’ll be back. Ted was supposed to be here before me and isn’t picking up his phone now.”

Roy furrowed his brow. “Really? I’m shocked you didn’t come together.”

You tilted your head. “Why would we?”

“You realize how fuckin’ obvious you are?”

Your face dropped. “Nothing’s happening, Roy.”

He grunted with a shake of his head, and you headed off away from people to try giving Ted another call.

Still no answer.

When it hit his answering machine, you decided to leave it and send a text instead.

- hey, are you okay? i’m at the funeral now. if you show up, i’ll be in the back row waiting for you. if not, i’m coming to you as soon as we’re out of here

You shoved your phone back into your purse, making sure to leave it on vibrate in case he called back. Getting through the day was already hard, and you knew your anxiety was likely going to be more of a when-than-if kind of situation. It only built with the fact that Ted wasn’t getting back to you. You felt like everything was dragging on forever, and it wasn’t until Rebecca was struggling to find the right words in her eulogy that he came in. He sat next to you, squeezing your knee lightly to reassure you as he did, and you gave him a soft smile. Something was off, but even then he had the ability to comfort Rebecca all the way from the back row, continuing to sing the song she’d begun. And, of course, everyone else couldn’t help but join in.

You walked with him to the repast, and took that as an opportunity to ask him about what was going on.

“Ted?”

“Yeah?”

You fell quiet for a moment, unsure of where to start. He started for you.

“If you’re wondering, it was anxiety again. I’m sorry I didn’t respond…”

“Did you at least reach out to Dr. Sharon?”

“Yes.”

You smiled at him. “Okay, I’m glad. Proud of you.”

He smirked, then looked around the neighborhood for a moment.

“Uh, we talked about my dad.”

Your eyes widened. He’d hardly ever talked to you about what happened because he could never get through without crying.

“Wow. Are you okay? I know that’s always really hard for you…”

“She helped me see the good in him again, you know? I was always so angry with him for leaving us, but he did more than leave us. He was…” He trailed off with a shaky breath. You reached over, taking his hand, and he held onto yours firmly. “He was a great dad. She helped me remember that.”

“I’m happy you could talk to her about it, Ted. Seriously.”

He nodded, one hand going up to wipe at his eyes. “I guess it just hit me thinking about today…”

“I know. I’ve been pretty on edge today, too.”

“Are you okay?” He rushed out, looking at you.

You nodded with a smile, “Much better now that I know you are.”

He squeezed your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. You tried to stave off the sick feeling in your stomach telling you to run the other way. You wished you could just enjoy a nice moment with him, but you couldn’t help but feel guilty somehow. He was too good for most people, and you considered yourself one of the ones he was too good for. You let it happen for a few seconds longer before you pulled away, pretending like you needed to check your phone in your purse.

“Get a message?” He asked after a moment.

“Uh, I thought I felt it vibrate. Guess not,” you chuckled a little.

He nodded quietly, shoving hands back in his coat pockets. You walked silently side by side until you reached the house, walking inside and beginning to mingle with some of the other guests there. You felt anxiety building, but tried putting it off. You couldn’t tell why it was getting worse and worse, but it was. Your pulse kept speeding no matter how easy you tried taking it.

But, you knew it was about to get way worse when you were suddenly being pulled away from Ted by Beard as a woman approached him. He watched after you with eyes wide for a moment before he turned to her, and you furrowed your brow at Beard when he deposited you in a different room.

“The hell was that about?” You snapped.

Immediately, you knew you needed to get away. It was hard enough feeling anxious, but the last thing you wanted was for your feelings to manifest as anger. But, manifest they did.

“You said you didn’t feel anything for him like that,” he said, testing you.

You scoffed. “Now is not the time, Beard. Who was that, anyways?”

“Remember the name, ‘Sassy’?”

Your stomach dropped, and you could swear the air had just gotten thinner.

“Seriously?”

He shrugged, a little smug. You let out a hard breath, beginning to walk away.

“You said—”

You whipped around. “Cut the shit, Beard. It’s none of your business.”

Eyes fell on you, and the barely contained attack was coming into swing. You started walking towards the back door and into the fresh air, hoping you could contain it all until you could get out of there and go home.

The door opened only a moment later, and you turned to find Beard staring at you.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped like that, I just—”

“You have feelings for him. I know you do.” He shrugged, coming to stand next to you. “What I don’t know is what’s wrong besides that.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re shaking.”

You looked down to see your hands shaking hard as you grasped your arms.

“I—,” you felt tears prick your eyes, and looked away. “I can’t fucking tell him. I’ve known him for years, do you have any clue how shitty it’d be to drop something like that on him? Besides, clearly he’s having fun with…”

You stopped, unable to even say another person’s name.

“The doc told me I self-sabotage, but I don’t think this is that. Is it wrong to want him to be happy? I don’t think I’m the bad guy for that.”

“Nobody said you were.”

“Nobody needs to. I’m a fucking mess. I have no right being upset that he’s happy. I’m a piece of shit,” you whispered at the end, closing your eyes. “I— I need to get out of here. I gotta go, I’m sorry.”

You felt your chest heave, trying to get in air through the invisible smoke that surrounded your head. There was no escaping it, now.

Beard reached out for you, but you already started leaving. He called your name, but you couldn’t handle facing him.

“If anyone asks, please just say I got sick,” you said, back still turned to him.

He sighed, watching as you walked away, holding onto yourself as if you might crumble otherwise. He was worried you actually would, but knew you’d only get more pissed if he tried following you now.

You stumbled along the street, not really sure where you planned on ending up. The closest location was on Nelson Road, so that’s where you found yourself after it all, sinking onto the floor of the office and letting all hell break loose. It was bad enough with how you’d been feeling today, but coupling it all with how ridiculous you felt over being angry that someone else had his attention… That was the thing that nearly pushed you over the edge. Crying and shaking led to dry heaving, dry heaving led to darn near passing out, and that all led to sitting on the ground for who knows how long. You’d always been able to pull yourself out eventually, but you weren’t sure you’d be able to this time.

If people really believed that hope kills, you wished they never had to know what being completely hopeless felt like.

Pretending like you weren’t ever affected by the things that hurt you could only get you so far, and now you were feeling the hard edge of realization that being hit by the things that pained you all at once was so much worse than dealing with it little by little.

Now, a room full of people had seen you crack, too. They all saw through it. The jig was up in a small way that felt huge. Your cover-up act was all you had sometimes, and you couldn’t afford to lose it all because you couldn’t handle seeing Ted with another person, or deal with your emotions before they blew up in your face.

You sobbed, unsure of how you were still awake with how much air escaped you and how little you were taking in. You almost wished you would just pass out for a few hours. Just to escape for a moment.

You heard footsteps fall heavy and quickly down the ball, and it only worsened your panic. The last thing you wanted was for anyone to see you like this, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move. You were cemented to the ground, a crying, shaky mess.

“Oh, thank goodness,” you heard a voice that sounded far away, then felt a pair of arms scoop you up and hold you tightly against them. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

You couldn’t stop yourself this time, and just let yourself cry. Ted tried moving your hands away from your face, but you refused to budge.

“Sweetpea, I need to know you’re okay. Can you breathe with me?”

His voice was more clear now, and you heard a tone in it you almost never did.

“Please,” he whispered, and now you knew why he sounded different.

Tears fell against your bare legs, and they weren’t your own.

“Breathe with me, come on,” he coaxed, and you tried your hardest to obey his request.

Once your breathing calmed, you were able to move your hands, though you refused to look up. He pulled you into his lap from where he sat next to you, hands holding you tighter than they ever had before.

“You really scared me,” he said, quiet.

You took in another breath, face against his neck.

“I’m sorry, you shouldn’t be here.”

“What?” He asked, hands gripping you a little tighter. “What do you mean?”

You shook your head. “I’m a mess. You’re supposed to be out having fun.”

He was quiet for a moment before he spoke.

“Why did you…” He huffed out a breath. “I ran to your apartment. Then all your favorite restaurants. I went down all the streets I thought you might have taken, and finally I ended up here. I didn’t know where else to look.”

“Why were you looking?”

“I asked Beard where you were and he said you got sick. You were already not doing so hot, and I knew that was a lie”

“You have better things to be doing right now, Ted.”

“Nothing is more important than being here right now. Nothing. Do you understand me?”

He was taking a harsher tone with you than you were used to. You took a chance and looked up at him to find him in disarray. His tie and jacket were discarded, and his hair was kind of a mess.

“Don’t ever do that again. Please. At least tell someone where you’re going.”

You nodded, taking in the deep worry lines in his face.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Don’t apologize for that, I just— I was scared.”

You swallowed. “I’m— I’ll be fine. Why don’t you go see your lady friend now.”

He furrowed his brow. “What?”

“I know Beard pulled us away from you two for a reason, Ted. You deserve to be happy. Please don’t let me get in the way of that.”

He raised his brows. “You’re not in the way of anything.”

“Yes, I am.”

“No. You’re not,” he shook his head. “Do you want to know something?”

You sniffed. “What?”

He stroked your cheek with his thumb, then smiled. “She’s kinda pissed at me anyway.”

“Why?”

He took a moment to lean back against the wall, readjusting you in his lap and wrapping his arms around you so that you wouldn’t be able to scoot away. He chewed at his lip for a moment, then looked at you. You stared back, eyes wide, and mascara running all down your face. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight.

Hard as you tried not to, you laughed with him.

“What?”

“Your makeup ran harder than anyone on the team.”

You tried wiping away at it, but he grabbed your hand.

“Quit that.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “It’s kinda cute.”

“Me having a panic attack is cute?”

His eyes nearly bugged out of his head, but stopped when you laughed.

“I’m kidding. Sorry, I couldn’t help it.”

He let out a breath. “Man, I haven’t been that scared since my mom looked in the shoebox under my bed when I was seventeen.”

You smiled, shaking your head. “You didn’t answer me.”

“What?”

“I asked why she was mad at you.”

He nodded slowly, chewing at his bottom lip.

“Uh, well, when I asked Beard where you were and he said you were sick, she was in the middle of trying to get me to go to her hotel room.”

You felt your stomach sink again, looking away in hopes he wouldn’t catch the shift in your demeanor.

He continued, “I told her I had something more important to do. She didn’t like that a whole lot.”

“You did?”

“Yep.”

You swallowed hard. “So, it is my fault.”

He huffed out a sigh. “Can you quit that? I turned down sex to come sit on the ground with you, and you know what? In any case I would always rather be here with you. Panic attack or not. You could literally just ask me to sit on the ground with you and I would always say yes.”

“Well, that’s just dumb.”

He pulled your head towards his chest, resting his chin on the top of your head.

“You always see right through me like I’m a dang department store window. Now, of all times, is when you decide to just… Not get it.”

You played with the buttons of his dress shirt and quirked a brow.

“What the heck are you talking about?”

“You know, I thought you might get it all the times I asked you to come get dinner or coffee with me. Or maybe every time I come bother you and stick around way longer than I normally would with anyone else— and that’s saying something. I was really hoping you’d get it when we were holding hands on our walk today, but of course not.”

He laughed, pressing a quick kiss to the top of your head before he pulled back to look at you. You watched him with wide eyes, questioning his intentions and hoping you weren’t somehow still misreading this.

“You gonna make me say it?” He asked with a smile.

“I’d prefer if you did.”

He laughed, shaking his head. He then looked up at the ceiling, trying to search for the right words to say. They must have come to him, because he looked back to you, and simply stared for a minute before he finally started talking.

“You’re one of the kindest people I know. Like, Mr. Rogers reincarnated. You always know how to cheer me up. You always know how to help me, and everyone else in your life, somehow. I think you’re incredible. I think you are so funny and so talented and crazy smart. I even think you’re stupidly gorgeous when you’ve got makeup running all over your cheeks,” he said with a laugh, then continued when he got reassurance from your smiling face. “I’ve been scared to get close to anyone since… Since the divorce. You made it so easy, though. I’ve known you forever, but now— I guess I just realized a few months ago that nobody’s ever been there for me like you. You never tell me I’m too much. You never expect me to be… I don’t know. You don’t ever expect me to be on all the time. I can just be me, good or bad, and you still treat me the same.”

You watched him with a rapidly beating heart. Though, this time, it wasn’t telling you to run. It wanted nothing more than for you to stay right where you were.

“That’s something the Doc told me. That we’re good for each other because of that,” you said quietly.

He nodded. “I know, and she’s right. She helped me realize I had feelings for you. Real feelings.”

You bit your lip, then grinned. “Are you gonna crack a joke any time soon? Because all of this serious from you is becoming a little scary.”

His face lit up, and he laughed. You smiled with him, leaning into him for a hug. He held you close, taking in several deep breaths and enjoying the moment, then kissed your cheek as he pulled back again.

“Uh, so… Is this just gonna be me confessing and you get to sit there and tell me to do a crap ton of Hail Mary’s?”

You smiled. “There’s my Ted.”

His brows raised. “Your Ted, huh?”

You laughed, wiggling out of his grip. He let you, and you stood up, reaching for him. He stood with you, not letting go of your hands.

“You’re not going to let go of my hand to check a nonexistent message again, right?”

You smiled, looking down. “You caught that?”

“I can read you almost as well as you can read me. I knew something was up.”

You shook your head, walking into him and wrapping him in a hug again.

“I see things are a little better now,” Beard said, leaning against the doorframe of the office.

You let go of Ted, turning towards Beard.

“Hey. I’m sorry about—”

He held up a hand. “Don’t be. I was kind of being an ass anyways.”

You gave him a tight lipped smile, nodding a little.

“You two figure out… All that business?” He asked, pointing between the two of you.

Ted smiled, “Yeah, we did.”

“Good.”

He waved and left with that, the two of you alone once more.

Ted grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers with yours.

“Let’s go home and maybe… Clean up. We kind of look crazy,” he smiled.

“Can we head to mine first? I want to get out of this dress.”

“Why don’t we just go to mine?”

He raised his brows in question, and you couldn’t help but smile. Now at least you didn’t have to pretend you didn’t think he was adorable.

“I need clothes.”

He quirked a brow. “I think you’d look awfully cute in my clothes.”

You laughed, “Okay, fair enough.”

“Ready to go home, then, sweetpea?”

“Of course.”

[babyjakes]

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

event | jan ‘23 blurb night

summary | you will learn to take cock; it's the doctor's orders.

pairing | mean!dark!doctor!ransom drysdale x lloyd's little!reader

warnings | ddlg (daddy!lloyd's little!reader), doctor!ransom is mean, dark, cruel, sick, and we love him for it <33, dub/noncon, medfet elements: exam table, restraints, gloves, vaginal dilators, stretching (reader is initially very tight), pain kink, crying, mocking/degradation, humiliation, praise, one forced orgasm, implied forced p in v sex :^), formatting looks silly bc went over the character count

word count | 1,488

requested by anon | Hey hey, what about a mean!doctor ransom with those vaginal dilators? He has a couple that gradually get larger in both length and thickness. Since he knows reader has such a small hole, he works those dilators one at a time to get her stretched and used to the size so he can pound into her later or at a later date. He’s a sadistic little shit too, enjoying whenever reader is moaning or whimpering in pain, telling him to ease up or take it out. Yet, he responds with something like “Awww, but we got to get you nice and stretched for my cock. You can take it, can’t you? Cmon…Be a good little fuck toy.” Maybe after a bit of begging, he shows the reader some mercy by rubbing her clit as he works the next size into her. Once he gets her through the size closest to his *coughs* hard as fuck cock *coughs*, he’d probably fuck her right then and there. Who knows….. I feel like he’d definitely take pleasure in watching her grow anxious though as he fastens the straps tightly, puts his gloves on, lays out the dilators and anything else he needs or wants, cuts off her clothes/underwear with a knife, that jazz. I wonder if he would explain what he would be doing to her or would he rather choose not to inform reader what torture procedure they’re gonna be enduring. Just a thought :)

an | oooh thanks for this wonderful idea friend! i hope it's okay that i took it and tweaked it a little bit!! i just love the idea of ran doing this to lloyd's baby, those two assholes work so perfectly together in my mind <3

dr. hugh ransom drysdale is such a fucking menace.

and that's precisely what lloyd loves so much about him. he's nearly as sadistic and cruel as the mustached maniac himself, which makes him the naturally perfect fit when lloyd's girl ends up having a little problem... down there.

he drops you off at the younger man's office, wide-eyed and trembling as you sign in at the receptionist's desk. no one accompanies you back to your room, and it takes everything in you not to turn and run when dr. drysdale himself appears in the doorway, pumping sanitizer onto his hands as he closes the door behind him. no nurse accompanying him, it's just the two of you in the claustrophobic exam room. "ms. y/n," he greets, rubbing the foam between his hands as he takes a seat on his stool, motioning for you to get up on the table.

your eyes never leave him as you climb up, trying to use the pathetic patient's gown as best you can to cover yourself as you sit at the edge of the table. ransom chuckles at your bashfulness, rolling over and yanking off the flimsy garment before you can even think to stop him. "we won't be needing that, sweetheart. now be a good girl and lie back for me."

he's rough when handling you to guide you further toward the edge of the padded surface. when he reaches for your legs to put them up in the stirrups, your first tears begin to fall. "aw, poor thing. look at you- such big, frightened eyes. don't cry, baby. 'm i gonna have to strap you down?" his voice is so mocking in tone, you pass a small glare his way. "lloyd said you can get pretty defiant when trying to fit things up there, let's see..." he finds the right set of restrains in one of the drawers below the table, beginning to secure you in place as your soft protests start.

your poor heart rate's elevated as you lie tied and spread in such a vulnerable manner; staring up at the ceiling, you try to get your breathing under control. "now sweetheart, did your daddy tell you what we'd be doing today? he go over the procedures i'll need to perform?"

cheeks burning in humiliation, you look over at the grinning doctor as he starts to pull on a pair of black exam gloves. "it's okay, little girl. no need to be embarrassed. your daddy brought you here because he can't fuck you, right? he can't fit his cock up your tight little pussy?" you wince at his profanities, but he doesn't mind. "well," his voice trails off as he snaps on his second glove, tightening them both before focusing on the unopened box waiting for him on his instrument tray, "lucky for you, i know exactly how to help poor little girls who can't fit anything up their tiny little fuckholes."

from your spot, you strain to see what he removes from the packaging. when you realize it's a set of black rubber cylinders with rounded ends, ranging in size from just an inch wide and a few inches long to... god knows how long or wide, completely massive, your breath hitches in your throat. seeing your panic, ransom chuckles. "don't worry, baby. we'll start small. gotta work you up to the bigger ones, get you nice and ready for your daddy's big dick."

as you cry and tremble silently to yourself, he positions himself between your spread legs, grabbing a small bottle of lubricant and spreading some over the tip of one of the smaller instruments. "know you're not warmed up yet, sweetheart. bet you're still dry and scared- that's okay. this should help." once he has enough of the clear goo applied to the rubber, he turns to the intimate spot between your legs. "poor little girl," he repeats as he brings a thumb up to run over your folds, his sick mind of course finding great pleasure in the sight of you jerking away from his touch.

he brings the tip of the dilator up to rub over your hole a few times before slowly pushing it in, surprised at how tight you actually are. "jesus," he breathes, "he wasn't kidding when he said you can't even take a finger, hmm?"

"p-please," you beg as your head twists and turns desperately, "t-too big, hurts- please!"

"shhh, you can take it," ransom fights you, working the tool back and forth gradually until he has the entire thing fit inside your sore cunt. tears prickle in your eyes at the stretch. "see? that wasn't so bad," he croons, pumping the length of it in and out for a few minutes before removing it. he knows he should probably just work up one size at a time, but part of him wants it to hurt for you, so he decides to skip a few sizes. at the sight of his next choice, you cry harder.

"aww, poor little baby. but we have to get you all ready for your daddy's cock, remember? this next one isn't even close, we still have so far to go." once he's lubed up the toy, he starts to push it in again. he can't help but smile and laugh at you as you struggle against your restraints, letting out such sweet little cries of pain. "c'mon, gotta be a big girl for me. can you do that, sweetheart?" he asks, already knowing your answer.

"no, please!" you sob, "please! can't take it, h-hurts so bad- please!"

"i know it hurts baby, but we gotta get you nice and stretched out. you can take it, pretty girl. c'mon, almost there..." he has to fight to get the damn thing all the way in, but once he does and starts working it in and out, fucking you at a gradual pace with it, you're finally easing up a little bit, your cries of pain transitioning into little whimpers and moans. "there," he grins, getting a little rougher with his ministrations. "that's a good little slut, see? doesn't that feel good? so full, taking it so far up in you? look at you, you dirty girl; are you starting to get wet for me?"

you're panting, droopy-eyed, disoriented; you don't understand why it's starting to feel good. he removes the second size and you're given a moment to catch your breath, but when you see the next one the doctor's selected, you just about fall apart all over again. "oh come on, don't cry again," ransom groans, resisting the urge to shove the thing into you dry. "you're getting so close, sweetheart. here," once it's properly lubed, he begins pressing in again, and when you clench your teeth and begin to sob as predicted, he decides to have a little mercy on you, bringing his free hand up to rub your clit lightly with his thumb. your cries lessen as he masturbates you, though it's still an unbearable stretch. "i know, so big, isn't it baby? think after this one we'll be able to try one the size of your daddy's dick- won't he be so proud?"

it's a struggle to get it in, taking lots of pushing and help from ransom's thumb on your clit, but eventually you're able to take the toy in its entirety. "good, that's a good little fucktoy. look at you, getting so fucking needy- you're dripping all over the table, naughty girl." though it wasn't in his original plan, he's loving the sight of you writhing and mewling under his touch. growing a little more forceful with his thrusts, he speeds up his thumb over your clit. "you gonna cum for me baby? feels that good, huh? just can't help yourself."

you have no desire to orgasm, but at this point it seems like you won't have a choice. "no, wait- please-" you start to protest, but your resistance only eggs the doctor on more.

his voice is low, dark as he cuts you off. "no, don't fight me, little girl. you're gonna cum for me, now." tears well up in your eyes once more as you're brought to the edge of a terrifying climax; ransom lets out a vicious laugh as your orgasm rips through you. "fuck, just like that. filthy little bitch, getting off on the pain."

as you float down from your high, you're too dazed to notice the object being removed from you, and the doctor's hands pulling away. but when you come back to your senses to see dr. drysdale's massive, rock-hard cock has sprung free from his trousers, you're back to a terrified, frantic state as he grins devilishly at you. "what?" he mocks confusion as he reaches a hand down to pump his length a few times with a low grunt. “this way we can ensure you’ll be ready for your daddy.”

[whore-era]

little orange bottle

☁︎ modern!ellie williams x fem!reader, fluff/comfort ☁︎ themes/TW: depression/depressive episode, prescription medication use, mental health, crying, appetite issues, etc, established relationship, girlfriend!ellie, use of fem nicknames ☁︎ summary: in which your girlfriend always reminds you to take your meds and supports you through your mental health journey. ☁︎ a/n: this is a little bit self insertion bc i may or may not have been late on taking meds (take your MEDS!!) n this is a comfort fic for us babies who do take meds for mental health purposes or whatever reason. experiences described in this fic is solely based on mine :) ☁︎ word count: 1,809 - not proofread

"make sure you take them, as directed, and on time. sound good?"

you nod, biting your lip, rotating the small, orange bottle in your hand. god, who could even pronounce a name like that? the name of the medication sounded so....chemical.

"that's also a 30 day supply, alright? when you run out, make sure you contact me or the pharmacy, and we can get you a fresh batch," the doctor spoke. but you could barely respond, overwhelmed with emotion. you couldn't help the tears watering in your eyes.

"hey. depression is a manageable condition. you will be able to live life, as long as you know how to manage it in a way that works for you," the doctor puts her hands on top of yours, "sometimes its medication, sometimes its self care, sometimes its journaling or going for walks.."

you sniffle and wipe your eyes with your sleeve, "thank you, means a lot."

"of course. you can do this. i believe in you." i can do this.

as you make the walk from the doctors office to ellie's car, a bundle of nerves bubbled in your stomach. you weren't sure how this new medication would affect you and ellie's relationship. surely, there was nothing to worry about, as ellie had been extremely supportive of you during this turbulent time. she was the one who suggested to get help in the first place, an idea you'd forever be grateful for.

"please, ellie, i just want to be alone," you murmur.

she just came home from work and was shocked to see you still in bed, with the curtains drawn and all the lights closed, laying in the dark.

"baby...what's been goin' on?" ellie whispers softly, sitting on the edge of the bed, her fingers slowly stroking the bare skin on your shoulder.

"jus' don't feel like doing anything anymore, called out of work for this week," you mutter, burying your head back in the deep fluff of the pillow.

ellie's brows drew together in worry. she was starting to feel concerned for you. at first, she thought it was just sadness that you were feeling as you sulked around the house in your pajamas with your messy bun, shoveling your favorite ice cream in your mouth.

but as the weeks progressed, ellie would soon observe that what you were going through was much more than simply 'feeling sad'.

when you would come home from work, you would just lock yourself in your shared bedroom, reeling in sleep instead. when you were off, you wouldn't want to do anything but stay cooped up under the covers of your blanket — as if you lost interest in all the hobbies that gave you joy. ellie noticed that you barely ate or drank water, only coming out of the bedroom to use the toilet. it wasn't until she noticed that you weren't even changing your clothes or showering, than she comprehended the gravity of the situation.

"come here, sweet girl. tell me what's been on your mind," ellie laid on the mattress, pressing her body against yours and wrapping her arm tightly around your waist.

"i don't know what's been going on with me, els," you mumble, a slight crack in your voice, "i jus' have no motivation to do anything. i don't look forward to doing anything— i'm just tired all the time and—” tears begin to fall down your cheeks, "i don't know what to do anymore."

it pained ellie to see you like this — hopeless. she knew she had to do something, to be there for you.

ellie kissed the skin behind your neck, blinking away her own tears, "alright, baby, i hear you," she whispered against your hair, "i think you need to get some help, professional help. you have to talk to someone."

"i think so too, els."

ellie lifted herself off the mattress with her elbows, hovering over your body, "we'll worry about that in the morning. tonight, we'll take a nice, warm shower, get some hot food in your belly, and watch a funny movie. sound nice, pretty girl?"

after thinking for awhile, you nod, and ellie plants a soft kiss upon your lips, and helps you get up to the bathroom.

she peeled off your clothes, and you both got in the hot, steamy shower. ellie was careful and steady in handling you. she massaged your scalp with your favorite shampoo, lathering it in suds, and making sure to moisturize the ends of your hair with a hair mask after rinsing off all the shampoo (a step she knew you would've cussed at her for if she forgot). her hands squeezed body wash onto the shower cloth, gently massaging the frothy fabric all over your skin, covering it in a layer of fragrant, bubbles.

after cleaning both of you up, ellie helped you dress in some comfy clothes (her clothes), and cooked one of your favorite meals, filling up your belly with some much needed delicious comfort and turning on a funny film as you both dug in.

opening the passenger seat door of her car, you plopped in the seat.

"how was it?"

"was okay. cried in front of the doctor, but besides that, she was really nice about it," your hands opened the paper bag, taking out the little orange bottle, "she prescribed me this.

ellie took the bottle from your hands, giving it a gentle shake, and reading the label, "holy shit, sounds like a fuckin' harry potter spell or something."

you shrug, "doctor says i have to take it everyday, same time."

"good thing you have a very loving and annoying girlfriend to help with that."

-

you were sitting on the couch, cuddled up against ellie, watching reruns of your favorite show and snacking on your favorite chips. her phone began going off, playing that annoying default 'radar' alarm. she took her phone from her pocket, and smiled.

"time to take your meds, baby!" she enthused, showing you her phone, the screen reading 'medication time 😎'.

you groaned, not wanting to move from your comfortable position, "uuugggghhh, ellie, i'm comfy right here. i don' wanna get up."

"then i'll go," ellie says, standing up, leaving you to plant face first on the cushions of the sofa.

what a sweet girlfriend you had.

-

ellie had been wanting to try this new brunch place that just opened, and just by the luck of the draw, you had secured a reservation for sunday morning.

perusing through the menu, you settled on the idea of having the strawberries and cream french toast with eggs and sausage. your mouth was already watering at the thought of the sustenance hitting your taste buds.

"what are you getting?" you prod, looking up at your girlfriend.

she appeared to be deep in thought, like she was contemplating a life-altering decision, "i have no idea. i'm stuck between the nashville hot chicken and waffles or the kitchen sink omelette. fuck, didn't think this was gonna be so hard."

you giggled, "if your appetite allows it, maybe get both?"

as ellie was about to respond, that dang alarm went off again. she opened her phone and showed you her screen, 'medication time 😎'.

you rolled your eyes, and unzipped your bag, rummaging through its contents. biting your lip, the realization settled into you.

"i didn't bring it with me, i think i forgot it, els," you mention, worry in your tone, "ugh, i'm so dumb. i think i left it on the kitchen counter? i dunno— maybe if i leave right now i can—"

"babe." ellie snaps you out of your thoughts, taking out the little orange bottle and placing it on the table.

your heart swelled in your chest. she remembered to bring it?

"you...brought it?" you questioned.

"of course, had to make sure you took it. gotta take care of my girl."

-

the side effects of the medication took you by surprise — especially heightened emotions.

all it took was watching one tiktok video of a very fluffy australian sheperd celebrating her 12th birthday, and you were a goner.

"ellie! she's an old lady!!" you babbled like a baby, and all ellie could do was hold you and stroke the spine of your back as you cried into her sweatshirt.

"yeah, baby, i know, i know," she cooed in your ear, rocking you back and forth.

"she's all gray and old— and, and— she moves so slow, ellie. w-why—" you used a tissue to blow your nose, "—w-why do d-dogs have to get o-old?"

"because, sweet girl, they age like humans too," ellie grabs your face and kisses your wet cheeks, "but hey, think of it like this, she spent her very long, long life being loved by her family. love is all shes ever known."

you look up at her with big glossy eyes, calming down from your little breakdown, "y-yeah, i guess you're right."

"besides, she's still alive, baby. don't worry. she's not gone, yet." oops, ellie shouldn't have said that, knowing too well you were a ticking time bomb.

you exploded into a ball of tears, sobbing louder than ever before, "ELLIE!!! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!!"

ellie scrambled around, trying to calm your nerves, and also hoping that mrs. chu, the little old lady in the apartment next door, couldn't hear you through the thin walls.

-

after a difficult day at work, you unlocked the door to your apartment.

luckily it was friday, and you were off for the weekend.

the doctor said on days like these, self care is important.

you treated yourself to a lovely bubble bath with a glass of wine, and then you ordered take-out from you and ellie's favorite mom and pop shop.

as you waited for ellie to come home, you opened your journal and wrote down some affirmations.

i am confident.

i am strong.

i am beautiful.

i am loved.

i am protected.

i love myself unconditionally.

"hey, pretty thing, what'cha doin'?" ellie greets you with a kiss on your cheek, plopping down on the sofa next to you.

"just had a hard day at work today— needed to remind myself of some things," you say, closing your journal and placing it down on the coffee table.

"yeah? any way i can help, babe?"

you shake your head, "nope, just you being here is enough for me," you chide as you lean over to press your lips against hers.

"i can definitely do that," ellie says, smiling as she pulls away, "just remember, healing is never linear, okay? there will be easy days and some will be harder than others. as long as you take care of yourself and surround yourself with support, it'll be okay. and if everything isn't okay, that's fine too. just as long as you move forward."

if u deal w a mental health condition or something of the sort, remember ur not alone and help is always there when u need it! u are very loved and appreciated <3 and if u take meds, remember to take them!! ily bestie

xoxo frankie <3

[v3nusxsky]

Can you do a, Wandanat X Agere fem reader?

Maybe reader djdnt want to regress, due to the amount of missions they were getting, and she accidently messes up in a mission and Fury yells at her for it, and she regressed in her room later that night, and Wanda and Natasha find her? And reader has thus toy dog she loses snd they have to find it to calm her down?? Fluff after that.

Agere, fluff, hurt, and comfort. I believe that's what you requested.

If not, no problem, I love all your writing!!!

Sorry if it's really specific, I'm nervous when it comes to requesting

Sun,moon and stars

*Authors note~ long time no see guys! I've missed posting. Been a little scared to start back up bc of the hate and my accident really threw me for a while but here we go. Thanks to the support of my friends and my lovely girlfriend @just-your-casual-nerd I’m going to be starting with Agere for the pure reason it's less taxing on my body and brain. Smut angst etc will come when I'm a little better*

Trigger warnings~ regression little r mama and momma wandanat loss of comfort item angry fury? Sight angry Nat?

Prompt~see ask^^^^^

The past few weeks had really been insane for you, you were either on missions or filling out the paperwork from your previous missions. You'd hardly seen your girlfriends due to this, which meant the idea of allowing yourself to regress was definitely out the window. You couldn't afford to mess up the missions, exposing your secret to the team. A lot of the time it was truly hard to admit you coped this way, but Wanda and Nat seemed to love helping you through it. Not everyone is accepting of it though, you learnt that very early on in your life. Perhaps that's why you felt the need to hide.

After a recent mission with Steve, Tony and Peter you were all on the way back to the compound when Steve told you. Fury wanted to see you immediately upon landing. You instantly knew why, your gaze flickering over to Peter who was cradling his arm. It was an accident really, you didn't mean to. Your brain blanking at the wrong time allowing one of the Hydra guards to twist Peters arm painfully. His cries of pain clearing the fog that littered your brain when you needed to slip. You'd apologised time and time again to Peter and he reassured you he wasn't mad. But no matter how much he said it you knew you'd messed up. The reason he would be taken to med bay was because you weren't strong enough to stay big. Guilt eating away at you, you weren't sure how much worse Fury could make you feel.

Apparently it could get worse, the guilt eating away at you as Fury laid into you about how reckless you were, your behaviour resulting in Peters injuries meant you were suspended from the field. His exact wording was something like "till we can figure out how to fix you!" You did your best to stay silent and remain strong, crying was not something you wished to do in front of him. You don't need fixing just a break really but you knew better than to respond like that, instead opting to flee his office and head to the safety of your shared room before breaking down.

You'd missed dinner, that was why Wanda and Natasha began searching for you. They knew the mission didn't go as well as wanted so they figured you'd want space to process like normal, but you never missed dinner. You love wanda's cooking too much for that. After checking your usual spots, they headed to your room. There you were curled up with dried tear strains on your cheeks, the room around you trashed to high hell. Clearly, you were looking for something but what would you be looking for badly enough to do this? "Nat, she's" Wanda trailed off as your thoughts were loud, "Little." Now everything made so much sense. You were looking for Pup Pup.

You must have regressed alone and being unable to find your beloved pup pup, you'd cried yourself to sleep. It was truly heartbreaking to see, as your caregivers, you hadn't found one of them and were alone in such a vulnerable mind set. Your whimpers as tears began to fall again worried Wanda enough to check on your dream. Only where she would witness you reliving how Fury shouted at you, saying you needed to be fixed. Your whole body shook with the second hand fear from the dream. Both girls knew you didn't like being shouted at or anything that was loud.

"Nat, Fury, he ripped into her about Peter" Wanda whispered before going to kneel next to your body. Her hand finding your cheeks as she brushed your tears away mumbling words of comfort, "it's okay dekta (baby) momma is here." The red head assassin gave Wanda a quick nod before exiting to find Fury. She wasn't having you being treated like this when they'd been overworking you and in general ignoring your own well-being. This wouldn't ever happen again because Natasha would make sure of it.

"Momma?" You sleepily sobbed before throwing yourself into her awaiting arms, "founds me!" You cried causing her heart to shatter slightly. "That's right my darling. I have you now. Why are we sad love bug?" It was adorable how your brows joined and you scrunched your nose up in thought, "Pup Pup gones!" You gasped as if you'd only just realised that Pup Pup was missing now. You appeared to be regressed a lot smaller than you normally would. The girls were use to you regressing to about five years old, but based of this interaction Wanda guessed you were about two to three years old. "We will find your Pup Pup bug."

"Mama!" You pouted noticing her absence. "Shh love bug mana is just finishing up with work and she'll be here, how bout you and momma go on a hunt for Pup Pup?" Wandas soothing tone and her redirection to your beloved Pup Pup. Hand in hand you and Wanda set out to find the ragged looking stuffie that you'd had since you were found by Hydra. The only thing they'd let you keep at a price and you cherished it. It didn't take long for your little brain to become overwhelmed and frustrated at your inability to find the stuffie.

"Momma! No finds! Gones! Want mama! I sorry I be good give Pup Pup me now?" You sobbed clumsily clinging to her as you cried for you two lost loves. "You are good my love bug, so so good. We are gonna find your Pup Pup I promise." She hushed you as the bedroom door opened and a very satisfied Natasha came into the room. "моя маленькая принцесса (my little princess) look who mama found малыш (baby)" her sing song voice caught your attention as you knew it was only for you. "Pup Pup!!" You cried happily coming to hold the stuffie, "frank you mama!"

"You're so welcome дорогой (darling), shall we all go get a snack baby?" You nodded enthusiastically until you remembered Fury's words, "Nahuh mama" you mumbled sadly, "I'm bad, no eat when bad." This time both women came to your side and showered you with reassurance and love that you were not bad. And Peter wasn't mad at you. Fury was in the wrong to go off at you like that and you were safe with them. They wouldn't let any harm come yo you. In fact you could eat in the bedroom cuddled up together. They just wanted to care for you, so you eventually relented, your little brain not holding much room to fight so you happily settled into bed snuggling up to Natasha's chest while you waited for Wanda to return with food. Before Wanda could even return you'd passed out on Nat, Natasha looking at you with such a loving gaze Wanda felt truly too blessed to be witnessing it. Truly you deserved the sun, moon and the stars, and both women wanted to give you all that and more.

Word count~ 1354

[ragnarokhound]

hiii im working through all your jaytim week stuff bc i had to be in a wedding that week and i missed it 😭 i WILL leave an annoying amount of comments on ao3 but for now i just wanna say that i love the baseball au fic so bad. i don’t know a single thing about sports but i worked a summer job at the ballpark for a couple years and now whenever the weather gets hot i miss the vibes so bad and i CANNOT stop thinking about Them. do you have any more thoughts or rants or really just any crumbs from this au bc it’s delicious ty

AAHHH OMG I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE WEDDING and you have said the magic words because BOY DO I

I love baseball au!! I am actually very pleased with and proud of baseball au!! In my heart, baseball au has a massive rivals-to-lovers slow burn plot that I simply did not have the time to write OTL so instead for jaytim week, we got the scene that I would have reread over and over again if it had been a book I read in high school lmao

My notes this is a fucking outline how did that happen on baseball au:

Jason was the ace pitcher for the Gotham Knights for a few years running, taking over that mantle from Dick Grayson after he traded to the Bludhaven team. Jason was much more aggressive compared to Dick, and he was a two-way player - he could hit well enough to not need a designated hitter when it was his turn to go to bat, and that versatility made him unpredictable and a threat.

Unfortunately, after a big argument with Bruce about the game, he was hit with a hard injury during the playoffs one year. Everyone said it would be career ending. Bruce said to prepare himself for the worst. Jason takes a year off to recover and doesn't speak to Bruce the whole fucking time.

Enter Tim Drake.

Drake is a rookie, a nobody no one's ever heard of, but he's an excellent pitcher. He's got a million tricks and keeps a cool head. He can read the other team to filth and is ready to change tactics at the drop of a hat.

Word is that he bullied his way into the GM's office and demanded a tryout; Bruce was gonna throw him out. But then he saw him pitch. He was hired on the spot.

They started Drake as a relief pitcher, but it quickly became apparent that he was wasted there. He's switched to starter. They don't make it all the way to the Series that year, but it was pretty fucking close and in large part due to Drake. Not bad for a rookie.

Jason hates him on principle.

Apparently, Jason still has a spot on the team. But they've bumped him down from starter to relief. He knows it's necessary, that his injury still needs babying, but he's still not happy with Bruce. He hates it-- and the games he's relieving for Drake? He hates them most of all. He can't stand the guy.

(He's better than Jason.)

(And he won't quit staring.)

Drake doesn't actively antagonize Jason when training starts. Actually, for the most part, he tries to stay out of Jason's way, watching him quietly from the sidelines while Jason tests his frustrating new limits. But Jason's not about to let Bruce's new golden boy off that easy.

(He's almost surprised by the bite hiding behind those bangs. How fast those watching eyes can narrow in acidic consideration before he tears Jason a new one. He takes vicious satisfaction in seeing Drake sink down to Jason's level. And Drake needs a fucking haircut, but far be it from Jason to give this asshole tips.)

Their synergy is garbage in the first half of the season. Jason prides himself in his game, but when they're sharing the pitch, it throws everything out of whack. They butt heads over everything, and they get hyper competitive; half the time, they're not playing against the other team, they're playing against each other.

By the third game its plain they can't be paired together. Either Drake or Jason fuck up on the mound because one of them was doing something (For Jason, Drake's creepy, unblinking stare is enough to piss Jason off; for Drake, Jason's discovered he can get a rise out of him just by raising an eyebrow at the right time, as if to say really? That's what you're going with?) and the coaches (Babs) have just about had it with them.

They're switched to play on different days when possible, and given stern looks and reminders not to fuck up on the days they have to play together. It grinds Jason's gears, but he sucks it up because he's a fucking adult and his career is on the line. Maybe Drake can do the same.

Things start to change, though Jason can never quite remember when. Maybe they needed the space or whatever, maybe Jason needed to go drinking with Roy and just dump about Drake and Bruce and all of it and hear Roy's drunken two cents, maybe the game against Bludhaven meant seeing Dick and being forced to hear his two cents; maybe he needed to run into Drake at the coffeeshop a block away from the stadium one morning and see him bleary-eyed and clearly hungover. Maybe seeing him outside of the job, his gaze wandering out the window and not fixed on Jason for once, willing to shit-talk Bruce (and to a lesser degree, Dick), shifted something in Jason's brain a little to the left. Maybe it made Drake into a different person, and maybe Tim is someone Jason doesn't actually know that much about. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

They start to improve. They have to play more games together when one of their alts wrecks his ankle, but Jason is still pretty fresh compared to everyone else after being babied all season, and his injury hardly bothers him these days. Tim still flusters Jason at the mound sometimes, but it's not for the same reason. He doesn't know what the reason is yet, but he knows it's not the same. The prickle on the back of his neck that says Tim is watching isn't a precursor to anger, or spite. It's something else.

(And so what if Jason finds himself sticking around after practice days? So what if Tim catches him once, working on his swing, and he offers to pitch for him? So what if Jason suddenly knows he wants to find out how that crooked smile tastes, and threatens to break his bat on it instead? So what if Tim laughs at him like he was joking, because they joke now, and it makes Jason's stomach churn, makes him sick with wanting? So fucking what?)

Bruce even talks to him after a game, all fatherly concern and judgment, wanting to know if it's going to be a problem for him and Tim to be playing together. If he can trust Jason not to jeopardize the game over personal disagreements. Jason doesn't know how to explain it to him and he also doesn't fucking want to. He tells him no, it won't be a fucking problem.

It freaks him out. He backslides, hard. Tim had been warming up to him, but he's obviously surprised about getting the cold shoulder. Surprised and pissed.

He corners Jason in the locker room after a game Jason nearly lost them, a loss that would have shut them out of the Series this year for good. Jason's been closing every game he plays, but Tim had to be sent back in to clean up after his piss-poor showing. He lays into Jason. He reads him to filth. He correctly diagnoses the source of Jason's insecurities and his beef with Bruce that's older than basically any of his other problems, and basically tells him to quit yanking the team-- and Tim-- around. He storms out with the last word, and Jason fumes with his head in his hands.

(Apparently, Tim looked up to Jason, once upon a time. Apparently, Tim was a fan before he was a colleague, a rival; a friend. Apparently he'd been nervous but excited at first to meet Jason in person, to get to talk to one of his heroes. Jason feels like a heel.)

They don't talk after that except to play the game. Tim is professionally distant, doesn't stare at Jason the way he used to, the way he was starting to. The roles reverse-- one week later, he's the one who stares at Tim, watches him take the mound during the game that will decide their fate, decide if they'll go to the Series this year or not, with an awful, burning need bubbling in his chest for Tim to look back at him just once.

When Jason takes the mound for him, Tim glances at him. It's brief, but he nods at Jason, a dare in his eyes that Jason wants to take. It loosens his lungs and lets him breathe for the rest of the game. He plays the best he has all season. And Jason knows the reason.

They win the Series. Bruce offers to put Jason back as a starter next year, but Jason declines and does one more year as a relief pitcher. He's done taking stupid risks with his body, with his career, and he knows if he goes back now he risks a flare up. If he's gonna show Tim up, he's gotta give himself his best chance.

Cue the fic. (They absolutely fuck in the dugout btw. Tim asks with his hands already on Jason's skin-- "Can I touch you?" Tim asks with his mouth already on Jason-- "Can I--")

So i hit the character limit but TAH DAH thats bb au <3

[emonydeborah]

snw episodes rated by Una

in which Una is my unit of measurement, not that this is what she would think of the events

All from memory bc who has time

SPOILERS FOR EVERYTHING

1x01: she’s literally the catalyst for getting Chris off his butt and the whole episode. Barely in it but she did all the detective work for everybody. “Somehow I knew you would” with the little smile and “La’an!” in the softest voice immediately established both relationships and my abiding love for her. She’s literally driving the plot but still not there much; 6/10.

1x02: she shares some LooksTM with Chris. Chris was slightly subdued at one (1) dinner party and Una went something is deeply wrong. Chris is sad and Una tells him to live his gosh darn life. Pretty sure she flies the ship a bit. She’s here. Can’t complain. 6/10.

1x03: OOOOHOHO here we go. Whatever camera angle it is that shoots from the floor to watch people walk away and makes them look tall was excellently utilized. Girl was STRIDING everywhere. Hauled a grown man over her shoulder and was greeted with the shock and awe she deserved. Told her biggest secret (!!!!) to help the crew!!! bc she would sacrifice herself for them!!!!! also she googled her glowworm episode like it had not happened her whole life (which I will accept as a writer thing. but she really looked at a picture of someone glowing bc of an infection and went 😮). Girlie managed a whole ship of sedated/crazy people and did not let anyone jump into the sun/warp core. Had a deep talk with La’an and revealed more of their shared history. Stunning. 10/10.

1x04 another case of I can’t complain. As my favorite character I want her to be happy, but I will take some internal bleeding and other catastrophic injuries. As a treat. The sheer power of ordering the medical staff to give away her blood transfusion and then knocking herself out before they could argue. Unparalleled. Had no impact on the main plot but what she did do in her sphere of influence was important and exemplary. I’ll take it. 7/10.

1x05: back at it again with the b-plot but I AM HERE FOR IT. GIVE ME LA’AN AND UNA BEING GOOFY. Loved the death glare at Joseph so he would confess and how she pretended not to be huffy about her nickname. La’an went can we… play a game… and Una went YEs sounds educational. For science. The look of absolute shock and betrayal when La’an shot her and her little “ow.” “People are idiots. You’re fun.” La’an went lol my childhood was a bleak horror scape and Una went absolutely NOT I’m going to commit crimes to rectify this. I like people having wacky misadventures while the plot is plotting somewhere. 8/10.

1x06 Chris forgot her name. She had to leave so she wouldn’t verbally tear him to shreds in front of his crew. Most likely explanation. Where was she I miss her. 4/10.

1x07: she locked the pirates out of the ship!!! We love a competent first officer shooting people on her bridge. She shook her head half an inch and Spock went absolutely whatever you say. Chris was thrown to the floor in front of her and she crossed her arms and watched him get up. “We’re starting a mutiny.” "Someone's breaking the rules today." Legitimately appreciated her teamwork with Chris in planting the mutiny idea. Would love to see it again sometime. 7/10.

1x08: bow and arrow. She checked on Joseph after and I appreciated that they carried that through from her finding out about Rukiya before. Una was here but she wasn't Una. Also. If we're real she wasn't really there. I liked the eye shadow though. 5/10.

1x09: "you should really try the omelet." The breakfast scene is my favorite and in fact the only scene. Nothing else happened with Hemmer or Spock or anyone. Really short episode. I would have liked to have seen her face when Chris snapped the tongs. She tried to follow the shuttle to the surface with scans and Chris went nah babe we're fine. Let her do her job Chris. Breakfast scene 10/10. Episode 5/10.

1x10: notable by her absence. She checked on Chris and once again told him to live his life. She's not there in the future but I won't take points for that because Chris immediately went where is my bestie. I cannot function without my work wife where is she. Her arrest kick-started the series and for our cliffhanger she was arrested again. I'm sensing a theme. What will they incarcerate her for next and how will Chris break her out this time. I will always appreciate Chris going absolutely feral for his first officer/life partner. 9/10.

2x01: prison. She tells Chris not to be stupid and he goes don't tell me what to do *cough* I love you *cough* Not a strong start for our girl but I trust her to overcome. Once again Chris is going off on a mission to save her. Lost points for the brevity of her appearance and the weird black jumpsuit. 4/10.

2x02: Girl sat in a chair and watched her friends say nice things about her for days. I would shrivel up and die. Una looks teary. Her lawyer put some heat on a guy who said he would NEVER hire Una if he knew her real race and Una said that was too mean leave him alone. La'an confessed her feelings in public. Spock gave the whole courtroom a heart attack to make Una smile. Chris hugged her looking panicky. please don't go away again. Una looked at Chris like she wanted to kiss him or perhaps sip one milkshake through two straws. The whole episode is about how great she is. 15/10.

2x03: unfortunately for most of this episode she did not exist. Liked the professional and sassy attitude towards Pelia but I must reduce points for Una not existing. 2/10.

2x04: Una succumbed to a disease she should canonically be immune to. Fridged almost immediately. Chris said I need some good fighters and took his doctor instead of his super strong first officer who was familiar with the terrain. Una called Chris out on relationship nonsense like the og she is but this cannot repair the damage. Drove me to writing fix-it fic. -10/10.

2x05: Una is canonically one of the girls. She hangs out with some very specific junior officers including her emotionally constipated son and her traumatized daughter. She laughs very loudly and I like to think the writers are purposefully making her more open now that people know her genetics secret. Tells Mr. Spock how to be a Vulcan. Part of a lineup to talk to Spock and is a head taller than the rest of the line. All in all a great time. 9/10.

2x06: she yells at her former professor who is also thousands of years old. I would simply perish. "yoU HaVe CruMBs oN yOuR uNifOrM" Starfleet said we need someone to get this defunct and thus far unmanageable station up and running. Send Una. "Oh good, I was afraid I'd miss the speech." Rebecca Romijn note- she is nine inches taller than Carol Kane, but she manages to look/act a lot younger and smaller than normal. Pelia takes about 14 seconds to get Una teary eyed. "My final paper was METICULOUSLY researched." 8/10.

2x07: "That's ridiculous, we can't just 'Not Look.'" "Like... a p i n - u p p o s t e r?" Girl is constantly baffled the whole time. One (1) young man was unnerved by her and she went he knows how I die. She then winked at him and he almost had a stroke. We see a picture of her as she is idolized in the future. Excellent. Different flavor than 2x06 but still 8/10.

2x08: lots of Significant Eye Contact with Chris. She said if you don't get this ship where it's going asap I will revoke your command and drive us there myself. "Everyone is on their own journey." I feel like she knows Joseph murdered a man in sickbay but we don't know for sure. She's out here being a competent first officer and telling the captain how the crew is feeling. I like the reminder of her priorities. Chris is here to explore and it's Una's job to make sure he has a functional crew to do so. 6/10.

2x09: Una Chin-Riley, musical theater nerd, had the absolute time of her life and I am so happy for her. Girl JUMPED into that first song with much soulful pushing of buttons. "A surprisingly beautiful baritone." Chris asked Uhura the singer how musicals work and Una answered. Is feeling her feelings so much these days she started singing about her job. Waltzed through the halls with James T Kirk. La'an went I would like to not do this please and Una said feel your feelings. Fly away with me. Accept yourself. Love yourself. "You came in here hot. On fire. It's making me sweat." The whole ship is singing and La'an is making friends. This was the best day of Una's life. 1000/10.

2x10: Una volunteered for a dangerous forbidden mission to save her husband's gf and spent the whole time stalking around the bridge like a tiger or a mom looking for sales at Target and giving hopeful speeches. She did tell Spock his gf might be dead but if you want to look for her go for it champ. "ORDERS CAPTAIN" Chris is hanging on by a thread. Una is the thread. Not a great end if I'm honest but she did look fantastic walking around murderously. 5/10.

[theloveinc]

that would be such a wild meet ugly w bkg, like you're crying in the bathroom like you said n the groom barges in n you both start fighting loudly again n bkg tells him to leave you alone n tells his groomsmen to take him away then he tells everyone to go home bc the wedding is over n everyone is like wtf is going on?? n your bridesmaids are like "should we stay n help" n bkg is like "no i'll take care of it" n suddenly it ends with you in your mascara tear stained face, wedding dress all a mess n so dirty at mcdonald's with a pro hero sitting in front of you just staring n making sure ur okay n everyone wondering what went on lollll

RIGHT?!?!

And It's sooooo not Bakugo's bag but for some reason he feels so... not exactly obligated but... that it's the right thing to do to stay, buy you food, and help you pick up all the pieces.

He even helps you out of your dress, lets you wrap up in his spare coat and some pajama pants a bridesmaid left in your get-ready room. You cry when you see the empty venue and all the wilting flowers, but he helps you through that, too, holding you like he's known you for years, mumbling about how "you're never gonna get over it unless you do the work yourself."

He even picks out one of the nicest remaining flowers of your bouquet to send home with you that night, not to remember the day by, but to remember the good that came out of it: you were spared from marrying a "fuckin' loser extra," and you met him, and that can't be all bad, right?

(I think it's a little cliche to say you fall in love that exact night and he leaves you with his number... but you see him again, for sure, maybe dropping off some of your, now unneeded, wedding favors as a thank you gift for him to share with his staff at his agency (which was NOT hard to find, nor to gain entrance to)...

And there you are walking into his office only to be met by a whole handful of little sidekicks, going, "look, guys! It's the bride! It's Dynamight's bride!" as they're all so excited to finally meet the person in the pictures that were taken for the paper, of you and Bakugo sitting in that McDonald's, crying.)

[lonelychicago]

seven sentences sunday! 🪐

tagged by the lovelies @transbuck @transboybuckley @hippolotamus @cowboy-buddie @prince-buck-diaz @honestlydarkprincess @spotsandsocks @alyxmastershipper @wildlife4life @911onabc 💗💗

it's still sunday for me so... here's a snippet from buddie at dispatch <33

Eddie is useless, still like a doll and letting Bobby do all the work as the man carefully and delicately cleans his hands, holding them above the sink. Eddie watches as the water turns red and gray and his vision blurries with more tears.  "Has Buck ever told you about the time we went to a concert together?"  Eddie's gaze jumps up.  "N-no?"  Bobby sighs, finishing cleaning Eddie's hands and looks at him with a sad smile.  "It was back when he was a probie. He once barged into my office and listened to me blast 'Backstreets' on my phone while I was filling out some incident reports." Bobby chuckles. "He didn't have a clue who I was listening to but he liked it and then he just… sat there and listened to the song with me. The next day he came into work knowing Bruce's whole life and every single song."  "That sounds like Buck." Eddie nods and smiles fondly at the image forming in his brain.  "So, the next weekend I took him to a Springsteen concert. And then we went to see Coldplay and it just kinda became a thing from there, you know?"  "Why are you telling me this?" Eddie asks and it comes out harsher than intended. He swallows hard and shakes his head, guilty and ashamed. "Sorry, Bobby, I didn't mean—" "I'm telling you this because… I don't know, Eddie. When I went to that concert with Buck, I remember thinking 'maybe I've lost my family but I can make a new one for myself. I can choose to live and let people in." He shrugs. "Buck gave me no other choice, you know? The kid made me love him and— He's family to me. And I know he's family to you, right?"  "Yeah, of course."  "So that makes you my family too. And I just want you to know, you're not alone. I'm worried sick right now, just the same as you.You don't have to go through this alone, okay?"  "I'm scared."  "I know." Bobby sighs. "Me too. But we'll be scared together."  Eddie lets out a stuttering breath and his shoulders relax, no longer feeling as heavy as they did a few minutes ago. "Thanks, Bobby." 

tagging no one bc it is kinda late but if anyone wants to share something, consider this your tag! 💗

[majegfgkj]

Okay this is every text I sent one of my friends while listening to the first two eps of the Magnus protocol

Tmp

Two eps!!! And oh my god it’s 40 mins long

Alex insulting ppl who have listened to every ep lmao

The intro music oh my god

Oh my god is that Jon (it’s not)

Omg I think it’s Gertrude

Nvm her name is Alice

There’s so many characters help

OIAR (what is that??) office of incident assessment and response

The beep is not a tape recorder i’m going to cry (my life is ruined)

Oh my god this is being recorded on a computer how does it come around everywhere

The statements are emails??

Dolls comma watching or dolls comma human skin lmaoooo (we love the Eye and the Stranger)

Omg it’s set like today

Oh my god Alex I can hear Alex oh my god MARTIN ITS THE ACTOR OF MARTIN

I have to listen again

IT REALLY IS

So it’s reading out the real statements

Naming the voices Norris, Chester, and Augustus I can’t

Okay my guess is Norris - Martin

Augustus is 100% Jon

Who tf is chester (like who could it be??)

Oh maybe Chester is Jon which Augustus is so pretentious it’s probably Elias (could it be?)

Oh my god are they trapped in a computer

Okay so the Stranger? Yeah I think

Yes god it’s definitely the Stranger

‘Arthur is that you?’ ‘Some of it’ LMAO

Yeah that was pretty tame

I like Gwen

Oh my god if they’re in the computer they could be in all technology right bc this has to be a different computer

STATIC ‘no one is forcing you to stay here.’ Mhm. Totally

THAT WAS SO DEFINITELY FORCED OUT OF HER

Is this boss related to Elias (no, Gwen is)

I really like Gwen

Help this beep is really annoying I want the ‘click’ of the tape recorders

We’re in the cameras rn aren’t we

I like Sam

This sounds like blinking there’s so much Eye

I feel like the Night Shift would be such a vibe

JON

JON JON JON JON

I HAVE TEARS

MAGNUS INSTITUTE

JON

MAGNUS INSTITUE

2022

JONNNNN

‘Magnus institute ruins’ is throwing me off

Wow it’s weird what a fucking surprise

Wow you’re paranoid what a fucking surprise

Foot went through the floor (worms?)

All the papers taken out, all of the statements???

CREEPY MUSIC PICKING UP

Symbols? Like eyes? Suspicious stains? Like worms?

The photos are disappearing. Interesting

Distortion. It literally said the word Distortion.

Red canary isn’t going to reply are they

‘Canaries should stay above ground’ what a fucking surprise guess who’s definitely dead

I WAS RIGHT ITS EYES

Poor Sam I don’t want him to become an Archivist

What sam has history with the Magnus institute

Okay so who is the most pretentious - Elias

Argh all these beeps idk if I like this

*me trying to work out if she’s joking when she’s says ‘looking for my next victim’*

Sam no what’s happened I like him

He’s ill?

Are we at a supermarket??

Okay who tf is this guy

SKSHDKJD THE MUSICCCCC

THE MAGNUS PROTOCOL IS A PODCAST OH MY GOD

Distributed by rusty quill and licensed under a Creative Commons attribution non commercial share alike 4.0 international license >>>>>

Bro this music is so good holy shit

Okay ep 2

Not as long :(

Who are Christian and coco?

Oh my god Alex’s intro holY SHIT

the music is so good

Computer whirring yay (not tape recorder *cries*)

Sam don’t do that don’t decode it

Gwen and the other guy that’s not Sam are giving tim and Sasha

lowriii

She plays Melanie’s therapist right. So… she’s still a therapist

Okay so the Stranger?

Maybe the Flesh

Wasps?? Corruption?

Mm not Corruption

STRANGER ITS STRANGER

Noooo Flesh its Flesh.

God this sounds like the old statements it makes me so happy, classic tma horror

Lmaooo bosses can’t be respected in this universe

What specific choice made us only able to hear one side of the convo. Who is the other person? Is it like georgie? say hi to ‘smth’ for me. Oh it’s a guy okay idk

Sam no don’t research

GWEN BOUCHARD???? WHERE IS ELIAS

Oh my god do I have to wait a week now that’s horrible

[nicistrying]

Weds 16th October

Tues Weds office days this week. Flu vaccine clinic yesterday so went down with a couple of the girls on my team and got vaccinated. And got a sticker and a lollipop for it 😎

It's one of my colleagues' 30th birthday this weekend and I stupidly took charge of organising his gifts so rushed to get some giant balloons after work and came home and made up a hamper for him.

Up early this morning to make sure I had everything ready. It was team meeting day today so it was all a bit hectic but coworker was happy with his gifts and seemed to really appreciate them. He gave me a little cuddle to thank me for organising it all so I'm really glad I did okay.

As the day has gone on I've been feeling a little yucky and my armpit is killing me! So I think it's just the flu jab kicking in. "Rested" this evening bc I felt gross and exhausted when I got home and by resting I mean I spent 2 hours browsing cars bc we are in desperate need of a second one. Sharing ours is just not sustainable. I had hoped I could lease one from work but the cheapest cars are fully electric (great but I would have to then pay more to install a charger) and fuckung huge (not great because I am very fucking small and I currently drive a very small car I am not ready to upgrade to an SUV lmao) so we're back to looking at second hand from a local dealer and tbf there are a lot of good deals around, we just need to make the time to go and test drive a couple and get it sorted bc from November Matt's schedule is getting busier and I would really like to have the new car by then if we can. So I spent most of my night babbling out loud about the pros and cons of hire purchase bc that seems to be the way we could get the newest car with the lowest mileage. If we buy outright it would be an older car that's done more miles and had more wear and tear that we will need to pay to repair. But I can already hear his parents complaining about us paying for one large investment on finance. But like who can afford to buy a car outright these days lmao

[just-a-creep-babe]

https://www.tumblr.com/just-a-creep-babe/746325322948067328/okay-first-that-criminal-investigator-reader?source=share

AHHH, I would totally read your books!! I am also actually working on a book too! (got three chapters done!!) here is the first couple of paragraphs and chapter 1 bc I think you'll like it!!! <3👀

-🎥

. . . . . . . . . . . .

It’s her first day; we all look at her when the gym’s large doors open, our heads tilted. The New Coach.

She has tanned skin, chestnut brown hair, tall but still looks like a pigeon-toed dancer. She holds her head up, proud, as she makes her way to the middle of the gym.

All of us are slouching, afraid of giving her anything but eyes glazed. Our heads slung down, making our shoes appear more interesting than anything. 

I hear mumbling from Collen Otis and Carmen Hodek. 

“How old do you think?”

“Can’t be more than thirty, maybe? She looks like she just graduated college.”

With her back straight like a drill officer and wielding a rough gaze, her eyes scanning the staggered line, she’s judging us. She’s judging each and every one. trying to find a weak link.

Hands behind her back, the whistle dangles between her fingers. “Hello,” she says in a firm voice.

 No need to raise it, of course, she already proved to be a force to be reckoned with. 

“I’m Coach Maybank.”

Before she can even continue, she spots the JV Freshmen, Stacy Hitch, on her phone. In a flash, Coach is right there, grabbing Stacy’s phone and throwing it. The phone skitters across the floor, spinning madly before stopping right when it hits the entrance doors. 

I can see Stacy’s jaw shaking.

Coach doesn’t look angry exactly, it looks more of a look of boredom. No, It’s a dismissal.

“You girls, twirling your hair, on your phones with your sad little texts.” She shakes her head. “Ten, twelve years ago, it was still folding notes, passing them in class. This is just as fucking sad. No, this is sadder.”

After her semi introduction, she drills us. Hard. We run tumbles and keep our claps tight and our roundoffs smooth. The bleacher springs are the worst. Almost punishing. I can feel my whole body shuddering, almost like I might die from the pain of it but I don’t stop, I keep going.  

When she decides we have had enough, she lines us up again. She goes down the line, looking at all of us before stopping at Aria Jennings. 

Coach’s suddenly reaches for the spot on Aria’s stomach and plucks the baby fat. “Fix it,” Coach says, “we don’t do this.”

Aria sobs in the locker room after as she is keening over the toilet bowl. Jodes Perks and I rolled our eyes at the sight.

“She can’t say things like that, can she?” Aria stutters through tears. 

Surely Coach can’t tell a girl, a sensitive, body-conscious, barely out of her teen, girl, to get rid of a little baby fat can she?

Oh, but she can. She does. She did. Coach can say anything.

After minutes of Aria wheezing, I give her stomach one hard kick with my right foot. 

“Got no gag reflex,” I say, coldly.

Jodes nudges me, grinning. “That’s not what her boyfriend says.”

HOLY that coach and I would have MAD beef irl frfr 💪😤

And the headcanons are so cute! I feel like they’d be such a chill friend group uwu

[nobodieshero-main]

okay. aaaa. idk how to put things into words!!! *frustrated writer noises*

okay, so, mordred. destined to die, and knows it. how? nobody tells him, because 1. nobody knows his destiny and 2. it's incredibly taboo to share someones destiny with them. you're not meant to know it. but mordred does, because the knowledge appeared in his head one day.

like, he literally just blinked and the fact that he's going to die was in his brain like it had always been there. and i've been going back and forth and twisting myself in knots trying to figure out when and how that happened, because i know it's a result of ahuru's death, but him knowing the moment she dies feels too small a window.

like, what, he realises he's supposed to die in 2 days and then doesn't? NO. and then i decided that ahuru literally took mordred's place, that she died at the same time on the same date in a similar manner that he was meant for. so then it wouldn't work bc then mordred's moment of realisation would be so different. it wouldn't be this big dramatic 'willing sacrificial lamb' that i accidentally created for him, it would be a young noble pausing in the street, unable to tear his eyes away from a specific spot and feeling a shiver run down his spine. which, like, it kind of cool but it's not who mordred is now lmao.

and then i was like "okay what if he was born like that? born to die, and born to know it." which did start leading me on a tasty little crumb trail where mordred is meant to die on his birthday - i've mentioned before somewhere that ahuru's death does Huge Things, that it basically sends a shockwave through the cosmos that rewrites the story, and we end up with nobodies hero. well who said the universe is linear?? time is WHACK, it's MADE UP, and this is a fantasy so i can do what i want actually so i was thinking that some of those ripples just skipped over linear time completely and thats how mordred finds out.

it's just a ripple.

anyway, i was thinking about it more and mordred dying on his birthday would really be one fun little full-circle moment for him so i think i do want to keep that - i could even include moments where atlas mentions his little brothers birthday coming up, and how he's glad he sent a letter in the last town with a post office because it should arrive in time or smth. - but instead of it being something he's known since birth it's going to happen a little bit later in life.

like still when he's a kid, but i want to give him time to accept and embrace that this is his fate and he can't escape it. and then it's ripped from him and he's forced to live.