#(at least in basic terms of him asking for food and not you know. Also for him to report to Lewis if his tent is destroyed or something) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

antheshewro · 6 months ago

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A few random headcanons about Attack on Titan characters that make sense in my mind (even if some are truly random idk):

Levi – In terms of his personal appearance and grooming, we can say that he is canonically very attentive to it. I picture him being very meticulous when it comes to his nails and especially shaving his face. In his free time, he still visits the Underground and brings basic necessities to children and families. On the Surface, he always helps, if he can, homeless people. After the war and once he became a retired veteran, he began to smoke even though it repulsed him. It was, however, a great way to calm his nerves.

Erwin — There were stray cats wandering around the backyard of the headquarters and he fed them regularly, to the point they started to settle there and became a feline colony. Hange, Moblit and Miche may have or have not helped him. A man that every single woman wanted to marry, or would have wanted as a son-in-law. He was tempted to let his facial hair grow, when he let it grow after he lost an arm, but at the end decided against it.

Moblit — He always reminded me of Armin, and just like him, he would probably spend hours inside the library to read while drinking tea. A very calm and quiet guy, well liked by the ladies as well, though he never felt like they would be interested in him. A morning guy who would like bread with butter and cherry jam for breakfast.

Hange — Has read "The Metamorphosis" by Kafka and asked themselves for weeks if the protagonist was a big roach or a small roach. Sleep talks, learned how to fix things by themselves even though it would end up with them having at least one small cut. Likes spicy food but regrets eating it every single time.

Miche — Very much into trekking, walking in the countryside, camping and all that stuff. Cooking meat on a fire in the middle of a forest, fishing with bare hands, hunting but only to feed himself. I can see that he's one who would build a birdhouse and replenish it with food periodically.

Nanaba — At least two Scouts told her that she was the perfect combination of Erwin (she's blonde with blue eyes) and Levi (her haircut and features). A big flirt with women, if a man is annoying a lady at the tavern she would step up no matter if the said guy is twice her size.

Oluo — His haircut is clearly an attempt to copy Levi's own. He said, to himself, "Nanaba has a similar one, I can do it" and ended up with... that. He also tried to hold teacups like Levi does, but they slipped from his fingers. He broke three of them in the span of a few weeks.

Petra — Massive dog lover, especially those small chihuahuas with big ears and a fluffy body. If Birkenstock were a thing in Paradis, she would've owned a green pair.

Pyxis — As a young man, he had tons of women around him. A flirt but not to the point he would cheat on his wife (since he's canonically married). And when he still had hair on his head, he was clearly blonde.

Keith Shadis — A massive Jägerbomb and Jägermeister drinker. He smoked cigars to unwind as he took breaks from his paperwork, and since he didn't want his subordinates to know that he smoked, he blamed that it was someone else smoking near him. Also–stay with me on this, he gives me massive Egyptian vibes. If he was from outside the walls, that is.

Nile Dok — He has the aura of someone who despite living in Karanes, he faked a posh accent at some point so people wouldn't say that he was from that part of Wall Rose. Having a wife and daughters, he understood women pretty well but would say "Yeah, and I have a bi-cycle" when Marie would get her period. You got that? Marie had her cycle and Nile had a bi-cycle... dad jokes would be his thing

Dhalis Zachary — Remember that chair of his? He probably would enjoy splatter horror movies. The human centipede

Theo Magath — A guy who has a sweet tooth. Likes dark chocolate and butter biscuits with his black coffee. People at the Warriors Headquarters–Porco–bothered him to kill the cockroaches that entered the bathroom when summertime arrived.

General Calvi — An Italian surname, which makes me headcanon him as Italian. Picture him as "Saverio Giovanni Calvi" (I went with old Italian male names), and for his political party, he was a Marleyan who hated Eldians. I don't think I have to add anything else to this.

Niccolò — If we have to keep in mind that he was from Marley and hated Paradisians and Eldians, he reminds me of a person from Northern Italy that hates the South and calls them terroni uncultured and unmannered. In Paradis, after the war and after he realized he was no better than the islanders, taught himself how to cook the typical dishes, especially the venison that Sasha's father would hunt for his restaurant. Likes old Italian movies and he isn't fond of cooking dessert.

Reiner — Likes to water plans at the Warriors Headquarters and helps the staff members to clean up if he can. Takes sleeping drops and wanted to learn to play guitar, at some point. Despite the fact that people think he is in love with Historia, I think he loves her like gays love Lady Gaga.

Bring me the horizon Bertholdt — Tried to eat sand as a kid to see if it tasted like breadcrumbs. It didn't. He spent hours building a sandcastle until Porco destroyed it, along with his brother Marcel. Reiner helped him build it back, along with Pieck and an older Zeke. Likes to eat ice cream alone, at the park, and was a good student.

Annie — Liked to hit little boys as a kid, especially when they would tug on Pieck's hair and call her names. One day, she slapped a boy so hard, his glasses flew away. No, that wasn't Zeke.

Pieck — Massive caffeine addict, but she's now numb to it and can sleep even if she drinks four cups a day and gives her the shits. Likes nightgowns and always has well manicured fingernails.

Porco — One of those guys that act like big shots but a "your mama" joke is enough to shut them up. And whenever he teases someone and that person has a better comeback, he grumbles and leaves.

Zeke — If he has time, he helps the local animal shelters in Liberio. Has books about dinosaurs, and he was obsessed with them as a kid. Also a child who went to the supermarket and he put the products back in their place if other customers grabbed them and left in another spot–the label HAS to face him.

Sasha — As a Southern girlie, she knew every single folk dance and song, and she invited her friends at least once to the village festivals in Dauper.

Jean — When in season 4 we see him with facial hair and longer hair, it took him forever to grow them out. At some point, Connie teased him saying that he must've glued a rat on his head, and Jean slapped the back of his neck.

Connie — Sneaks out of his room to have a midnight snack but he's so loud, he wakes the entire headquarters up. Hange doesn't have the guts to send him back to bed, but Levi surely does. His real name? Constantine.

Armin — A guy that claims to love nature but the moment an insect lands on his shirt, he would pass out. Cockroaches, dragonflies, crickets, grasshoppers. You name it. But he likes bunnies–the reason why he never ate rabbit meat, if served. Politely declining and saying that it upsets his stomach. After the war, he embraced veganism or vegetarianism.

Mikasa — We know that she liked ice cream once she tried it in Marley, and I would say she likes black cherry one, lemon, vanilla and peach, but her weakness would be berries. Likes to take walks, alone, and if she goes to the cemetery to bring flowers to Sasha and she finds a tomb without flowers, she personally plucks a few and offers them to these poor souls.

Eren — He likes to go for walks by the sea, and he always carries bread with him to offer to the seagulls. When they pooped on his shirt, he got annoyed and stopped for a while. Also tried to throw stones and seashells at them to take revenge of that.

Historia — As a Queen, she tends to sleeps late. She doesn't care and she sleeps in, if she could. Still visits the orphanages, and once her daughter was old enough, she brought her to play with those kids to teach her inclusivity and equality.

Ymir — During her time as a Scout, she would be having massive fights with Oluo. She couldn't help it. She hated his ass, and if it wasn't for Historia, she would've beat him up. But she would find Nanaba to be bearable, and even Petra—as harmless as she was.

Yelena — Let me hold your hand when I say: her deep voice with a Russian accent. A woman who doesn't like to shave, a big and massive lesbian. If she didn't enlist in the Marleyan troops, she would've been a Marine.

Onyankopon — A true gentleman, ladies loved him in Marley. He's religious, but after the Rumbling, I feel like he lost his faith for a lot of reasons. Though, before the war, he was usually going to church every now and then and he did volunteer work.

Gabi — Have you seen the scene where she basically suplexed Falco? If she kicked or punched a few Marleyan soldiers that were calling her "midget", it wouldn't surprise me.

Falco — A good kid at school, always polite and respectful. The one who prevented Gabi from talking back to teachers, and even to Magath.

Onyankopon — Has an entire journal filled with labels of the teas he tries—but also herbal teas. He loves collecting and started as a child with coins and bottle caps. If he doesn't know what to say during a conversation, he would chuckle and go, "It's cold/hot today, isn't it?" even though it isn't. Plus, he gives me massive Englishman vibes—can't decide if he's a Londoner or from the North.

Willy Tybur — Has five kids, loves his wife but he slept around. 100%. Due to the influence he had in Marley and the fact that no one could go against him, if he left his illegitimate children, the women couldn't say anything about it.

Grisha Jaeger — Kept a journal where he scribbled his memories from Marley, so he wouldn't forget them. Also, bad at cooking. He tried once and almost burned the kitchen down.

Carla Jaeger — When she was a waitress, she always had the attention of both men and women. And since she wore lipstick, I can see that she would always be very fond of makeup. Complimenting the other women for their appearances–to flirt or not, that was up to one's interpretation.

Kenny Ackerman — If classic rock was a thing, he would've been a diehard fan of rock bands. He was a chain-smoker, liked to drink intense liquors and never got tipsy right away. Has a Southern accent, never been religious, but a fervid supporter of "the end justifies the means". When he became the legal guardian of Levi and he would soil the bed, he would walk out of the house to calm himself down and not yell at him.

Kuchel Ackerman — A woman that was very refined and elegant. I can see her having books about romance, with fantasy settings. She's the one who taught Levi how to properly handle his personal hygiene, a reason why his clients liked her–she was very well kept. She secretly smoked.

Furlan — A guy that attracted his fair share of ladies in the Underground. Always have a part of his food to Isabel, liked to brush her hair and retrieve knick-knacks she would like, and that she ended up losing.

Isabel — Another cat fan. She went around the Underground to feed the stray cats, and she had brought one back home, to the place she shared with Levi and Furlan. It didn't last much, due to Levi not liking cat hair around the place, but she secretly kept it in her room. They knew due to the smell of cat and the tiny mewls at night.

Hitch — One of the most liked girls in her branch of the Military Police. She had at least one date each week, dated a few guys. She also had a flirt with a girl, and she had to admit that it was something she couldn't ignore. Blunt and straightforward enough to be men's worst nightmare.

Floch — No surprise when we say that he would be a big misogynist. Preaching about women finding fulfillment if they got married and had kids. A guy who would laugh if your pet dies because "it's just a dog/cat/whatever it is", but he's a pathetic yearner if he falls in love. The thing is, more than half of the women he was interested in didn't give a damn about him.

Sorry if it's a bit too long and if I missed any character but I was bored and here's the result of that ★

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zakumipink · 3 months ago

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I'm back, thanks to those who ask. Here are the previous questions.

• Can vampires eat meat?

If you ask, it's about cannibalism, since it's a form of punishment by judgment, it's not that vampires devour another, but rather they all bite and scratch them, mutilate them, and drink their blood. You could say they eat meat because in their moments of lust they tear off pieces of meat, but it's not that they eat it out of hunger. Now, if you ask for meat, like a restaurant dish, then yes. They can pretend to eat a few bites, but they'll ask for it in blue or red... it's when the beef is still bleeding. Of course vampires don't taste food, those who were once human have a memory of it. It's the same with animal blood, they can drink it out of thirst but it doesn't give them pleasure or knowledge.

• What is the relationship between Law and Kid? Were they a couple?

Kid and Killer come to the Akagami clan, years later than Law, so they know each other quite well, at least as far as the clan and the hunts are concerned.

There is no denying the fact that Kid was interested in Law, but it was not reciprocal Nor was it a game of seduction or an effervescent love affair. It was just a desire and a whim that quickly went away... Kid is the type of man (vampire) who does not look for complications or waste effort or time with detours. Kid does what he has to do does what he has to do to achieve his goals. He's impatient and quite impulsive, but he keeps his word, which is why he doesn't usually give it away, appreciates his friends.

For Kid, the pretty but apathetic Law was just something he wanted to have and couldn't, so he changed his goal and they continued relating as friends, a term that neither of them uses with the other, I guess no one recognizes it.

For Law, the redhead is a loud-mouthed idiot who should learn not to bother him... but, who he appreciates, even though most of the time they are both arguing.

• It makes me laugh that Sabo is bothered by fangs. Do you use it for humor?

Yes, although it's also logical. Many complain that Sabo was too stubborn at first and should have been quicker to accept his change... But in the context of his story, Sabo just woke up in the bed of a stranger, who was too handsome, and when he tries to remember he can't even think of his own name. I would get scared and want to run away. It also doesn't help that Law gets so angry when something doesn't go as he planned. So imagine how uncomfortable it is to have your fangs and nails grow, without you wanting them to, when you smell blood. Usually, converted vampires become accustomed by the third night. And it is easier for them to learn everything they need to be a hunter in less than a week when their creator educates them.Even so, mastering thoughts and reading others takes the longest, which is why neophytes spend about fifteen nights alone with their creator to learn the clan rules, basic skills, or see if you have any special abilities.

• Sabo's family never looked for him?

Yes, I don't know which chapter you're in, but I think I said they looked for him. Of course, it was useless, and Stelly took his place at the wedding.

• Sabo met his fiancee?

When they were children. She's a person trapped in her privilege, so she sees others as toys, even as an adult. Stelly is the same. Sarie Nantokanette and Stelly are a couple who get along well, both are cruel, but it's because of their privilege. I can't say much.

• Does Stelly hate Sabo? Does Sabo hate his parents?

I won't call it hatred. It was jealousy, at least at first. When Stelly was adopted, he wanted to belong to the family, and if that meant belittling, humiliating, and hurting Sabo, he'd do it. Sabo doesn't hate his parents or Stelly, not because he can't and not because he wants to be good. Sabo doesn't hate them because he doesn't want to hate them. It happens that our reactions and defense methods are different in each one of us, some need to hate, others forget, others forgive, and some of us just stay in limbo trying decide whether to hate, forgive or forget. Others want revenge...

• Shanks and Mihawk were boyfriends?

No. But it's not that it can't be done. Mihawk is a widower, Shanks has two wives: Makino and Uta's mother, so you have two children, and also has a lover. I don't think I've gotten around to writing about it yet pero Buggy is a vampire. Of course, Shanks is a free soul lol Mihawk sees relationships as pointless, he only married under family order and to have his own clan. He was in love with his Damnatus, but he will never admit it. I guess if you fall in love with someone, it's very difficult for you to understand.

• Don't you feel like you should go into more detail about what happened to Sabo? I feel like it would add more darkness to the fanfic.

I appreciate you reading, but I'm not interested in adding sexual scenes of adults raping children.It's not that I can't write it, but I don't think it would contribute to my fic, which is meant to be a cliché story with silly love and vampires who look like they're newlyweds. I'm sorry.I'm really bored of writing about sex, rape, abuse, and group orgies.I know I've written a lot of fics with problematic themes before, I know what I did. Now I just want to be a dumb author.

• Perona says Law is above average for vampires, but he's not that handsome... Really? To me, he's more handsome than Shanks.

All vampires are beautiful to humans; their beauty is part of their predatory prowess. But among vampires, can distinguish its beauty. So, although all vampires are beautiful to humans, except for the primitive-looking ones, they don't need to attract their prey with beauty because they do not usually live among humans.

A vampire is based on their genetics, whether pureblood or turned, so they are as beautiful as possible. Its attractiveness, in addition to genetics and "transformation enhancement", that is, how beautiful the human becomes upon awakening, which you already know depends on genetics.

When you are reborn as a vampire, your body improves everything you already have to its peak, for example your hair grows healthy, your teeth align and sun marks are erased, scars and removes unnecessary hair, or even produces beards in men, to give them the best appearance that allows them to be a predator. It also depends on its aroma.

That brings me to the question about the "scent of vampires".

Vampires have a special scent, which is a result of the pure blood of the ancestor. Does it confuse you a little? Let's say that ancient vampires, having developed from primitive times, just like humans and mammals, they had a keen sense of smell, they needed to recognize each other and differentiate themselves as well. Of the three ancients, there is a particular aroma that accompanies their "children" and that, in turn, mixed with humans.

By scent, pure-blood vampires recognize their "siblings" and those who are not, as well as the servants, companions, and "pets" of others. Damnatus (Law) have a scent similar to a pureblood, with common variations such as some flower or spice. The rest of the vampires smell like something "stimulating" to humans or other vampires. Purebloods tend to only be interested in unusual ones like Sabo or Kid.

Humans can't smell vampires, but animals can, so Law says that even though he finds the animals cute, he can't touch them because they're afraid of him. That's why he likes minks, because that race of anthropomorphic animals aren't afraid of vampires.

The scent also serves to demarcate territory, not only to attract victims or differentiate oneself from other vampires. Beyond clan and geographic divisions, every vampire has a territorial instinct and therefore an "aura," which they convey or give off through their presence or their saliva/blood/scent.

An example of this is when Perona meets Sabo and from the moment she comes down the stairs, she makes her "presence" known, which distresses Sabo. At this same point, we see that Law also makes a territorial claim, but Sabo is not scared, because Sabo is marked as Law's property.

Vampires don't stay in their "territory" all the time; they only do so when they want to stake out an approach or abode, often during fights or hunts.

And that's all for today, thanks for reading my fic ♡

#my fanfic ideas #my fics #sabolaw #law x sabo #CFYO

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pit-and-the-pen · 1 year ago

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I'll Crawl Home to Her- Chapter 2

Sorry this update took a little longer, I had some personal stuff going on and my work schedule was pretty packed this week.

Also, this is a fix-it fic. It'll be following the events of the whole series so buckle in y'all. Also also, I shit on Tamlin a lot in these next chapters but it has a purpose I promise!

Chapter warnings: Warnings: Mention of abuse/ trauma, one comment about weight in terms of said said abuse , minor blood

WC: 9.6K

Read the previous parts here

[prologue] [chapter 1]

Next Part [here]

“Rhys is the most handsome High Lord.” I read line after line of similar words. I rolled my eyes at my brother's antics.

“He’s sure laying it on thick.” I say as I sat down next to Feyre. She looks up from her writing and gives me a guarded laugh.

“At least I’m entertaining.” She huffs out.

“I can help you too, if you want. Give you a break from him.” She raises her eyebrow at me, studying me with a look that made me want to sink in on myself.

“Why?” She asks sharply

I willed my temper down. “Because despite what Tamlin might tell you, we’re not evil,” I spit out at her, she doesn’t flinch even slightly at the venom in my voice. “And you’re going to be here once a month for the foreseeable future. I’d like us to at least tolerate each other. Plus, it would piss off my brother.” Her eyes shone with mischief.

“You should have started with that.” And that was that. I pushed Rhys’ papers to the side and picked out a few books that had been my favorite. The plots are interesting enough to make up for the basic words used. Feyre caught on fairly easily. She could recognize almost all of the basic words but struggled to read them out loud. Not fully understanding how the sounds mashed together. We sat and read, and then when that got to be too much for her we just started talking. It was nothing deep, not really gossip either. Just casual words thrown back and forth until she asks out of the blue. “What’s the deal with Tamlin and Rhys?” I froze into stillness only fae possessed. Sensing my discomfort she backtracked. “You don’t have to tell me. I shouldn’t have asked.” Her voice held a little edge of fear. I forced my shoulders to relax.

“No, you have every right to ask. It’s…complicated. You’re walking into centuries old distrust and unfortunately, are caught in the middle.” It wasn’t fair to her to be caught in all of this old shit. That was our baggage and I could see it was affecting her but she pressed on.

“But why do they hate each other so much?”

“I’m not the best person to ask.” She narrowed her eyes at my non-answer. I sighed. “We’ve both done some terrible things to each other's courts, the wounds run deep and that’s all I’ll tell you.”

“Why?” She would not let up.

“Because you love Tamlin. And I don’t want you to think I’m trying to ruin whatever picture you have of him.” That really seemed to pique her curiosity.

“You had a different experience with him?” It felt like she had punched me in the stomach. No. That’s the problem, I had the exact same experience with him and I ended up just as broken as I can see you’re becoming.

“That’s not a story for today.” I tried to keep the shake out of my voice and maybe it was that, or the fear I know I couldn’t keep off of my face that made her drop the subject with a small, “okay”.

It was lunch time before we decided to take a break. “Do you want to eat here or go out with the others?”

“Rhys will just pull me out if I don’t.”

“My brother can fuck off. What do you want to do?” I saw a ghost of a smile twitch across her face. So we ate in the library. I left only long enough to stack up two plates full of food. Rhys took in the amount of food I was grabbing,

“Hungry today?” I only stuck my tongue out at him and walked back out of the room.

Rhys joined us a little after lunch. If he was surprised to still see me in here, he didn’t let it show. I didn’t leave until Feyre told me she was okay with me doing so.

It was probably overkill to be so protective of her, Rhys was the last person who would ever try to hurt her or anything like that but she was still uneasy around him. She hid it well with the sheer disdain she showed him but I could tell from the rigidness of her shoulders and that slight edge in her voice. But there was also something else there that I couldn’t put my finger on.

Feyre had stayed in the library long after their meeting. I found her hunched over another book, finger slowly tracing over the words. She hardly looked up as I placed another plate of food in front of her and went to walk out of the room. She didn’t call after me and I was okay with that. Scared she might start another round of questions.

I didn’t see much of her after that. So I traveled back and forth between Velaris. Spending half my time at the manor and the other half actually doing my job as researcher. I really didn’t have to work but it gave me something to fill up my days. Before Amarantha I spent most of my time helping Cassian manage the Illyrians, from the background of course. Being the High Lords sister did not save me from their views on females. So I only showed up when necessary, Azriel and Cassian always following behind me. They learned fast enough to keep their tongues in check if they wanted to keep them in their mouths.

Currently I was looking at old maps of Prythian. Combining through records for landscapes and t river patterns. Where the boundaries have shifted over time. And then came the daunting task of trying to pick out recountings of the old war. Figuring out who does best with what court. Prepping for the outcome we were all dreading, another war with Hybern.

“I don’t understand what you’re trying to get from these books.” Cassian said, absently flipping through the large leather bound book I had just placed to the side.

“Anything. Weakness, strengths, strategies, gods, anything.” I said leaning back. I knew I had to take a break, when I closed my eyes I could still see the words swirling in the blackness behind my eyelids. I took a deep breath and went to look at the giant map I had covered my desk with. Pins and markers to recount every movement during the last war.

“Do you really think that it’s going to help?” I know he wasn’t trying to be rude. His voice was soft when he asked and my shoulders sunk in slightly.

“I don’t know. But if it does…” He nodded in understanding. Azriel knocked lightly on the door, making both Cas and I jump. He had learned to knock now after he had to dodge out of the way of the book I had launched at him last week. I still haven't reaccustomed myself to how quiet his footsteps could be. A skill I had once prided myself on, I had even been able to pick up on those silent footsteps and find him before he wanted to be seen.

“Just wanted to remind you two to eat.” He looked at the books strewn across the table, taking note of the one Cassian was still flipping through, playing with truly. “I know how you can get when you’re focused. Time for food.” He smiled at the shy look I gave him from being called out. Many times he had to drag me out of my office when I really got into something. His smile made me think he was remembering those times too.

“If we go, will you two stop making eyes at each other?” Cassian spoke up, making me break away from Azriel’s stare.

“We were not.” I responded, trying to tame the blush in my cheeks. Get it together. I told myself as I forced myself to turn to Cas. His eye roll was the only answer I got. Azriel had already started walking down the hall and I slapped Cassian on the arm.

“You’re so annoying sometimes Cas.”

“And you love me for it.” He gave me a loud, wet peck on the cheek and gave a full head-thrown-back laugh when I made a big show of wiping it off.

I didn't return to the other house that night. Opting to stay with my friends. One of whom, Cassian, had gone into the wine cellar and returned with his arms almost full of the expensive bottles. I just laughed as he shot me a wink. I blew him a kiss back as I settled down on the couch besides Mor.

We didn’t bother getting glasses, passing the bottles around while we talked about absolutely nothing, acting like we had during our teenage years. It was later in the night before Rhys appeared in the living room. He took one look at all of us and rolled his eyes before he swiped the bottle out of my hand and brought it to his lips.

Mor and I were fully supporting each other's weight on the couch, I couldn’t tell who was leaning against who more but our giggles started to get louder and more frequent. She whispered to me so quietly I had to strain to hear her. “Stop staring at him.” And we fell into another fit of giggles.

She was right though, everytime Azriel talked I could feel how my eyes stayed locked on him. Reminding myself to breathe when he pulled the bottle to his lips. I pushed off of Mor and went to stand up, wobbling slightly as my feet touched the ground. Azriel made a move like he was going to catch me if I took a face first dive on the carpet but when I steadied myself, he moved back. It happened so fast I wonder if I imagined it.

“I think it’s bedtime.” I said, mouth feeling mushy as the words came out. Mor laughed again and I turned to face her and gave her a rude gesture. I offered that same hand to pull her up to her feet and she pouted before taking it. Everyone seemed to get the hint that it was late so all of us in our various drunken states started the climb up the stairs to our rooms. Good nights thrown through the hallways, Cassian all but screaming it to make sure Mor and I heard him. The sound made us flinch before laughing again as I closed the door to my room.

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Before I knew it Feyre’s week was officially up. She had demanded to be brought back home and I fought down the biting comments I wanted to make as Rhys agreed. I stepped besides the pair and she looked over to me for a brief second before pretending that neither of us existed.

“You don’t have to come with me. Rhys spoke into my mind and replied with a shake of my head. I could do this for Feyre. Despite every part of my body screaming at me for bringing her back to the Spring court, if she could be brave then so could I. He sighed at my stubbornness but knew that there was no changing my mind.

We weren’t going far. Simply dropping her at the border of spring and summer and making sure she got into the manor. I could manage that. Yet as we were getting ready to winnow in, I felt my hands go clammy. I remember me saying I’ll never go back there willingly.

The smell was the first thing that hit me. The overwhelming floral scent. I could smell the roses from the outside of the manor this far away, their sheer number coating the air with a smell that threatened to suffocate me on the spot.

“Goodbye, Feyre.” She had already started walking before he finished speaking, not sparing so much as a glance back to us. So we stood and watched her retreating figure until those wooden doors closed behind her. That was that.

We didn’t return to Hewn city, instead winnowing outside the townhome.

Rhys didn’t stay to greet our friends. Instead, he all but ran up the stairs to either go to his study or his room. Everyone gave me a tentative look before I shrugged and sprawled out on the couch besides Azriel.

He didn’t try to pull away from me. Instead, he lifted his hands from their spot on his lap. His way of telling me I could place my legs up so I didn’t have to sit awkwardly to avoid his wings. I did and I ignored how happy that little gesture made me. Over the last few weeks he seemed to be able to handle being around me again.

Cassian started rapid firing questions at me. What is she like? She threw what at Rhys? Anything for scraps of what their brother's mate was actually like. Sure they had gotten the story of her trials but this was different, getting to know who she actually was. Cassian seemed pleased to know she was still just as head strong. “Maybe someone will finally humble him a little.” He chuckled

Rhys spoke up as he entered the room. “Who’s humbling who?” He picked at an invisible piece of lint on his shoulder. The only sign of how upset sending Feyre back had made him.

Cassian didn’t answer but instead asked “Did she really throw a shoe at you?” He laughed when Rhys shot me a dirty look. Answering the question for him. “I want to meet her.” Cassian said and I swore he was almost pouting.

Rhys sighed, “And have you scare her off.” Cassian looked hurt so Rhys added, “Let her get more adjusted to me before we add all of this into the mix. Besides, she cannot see Velaris. Not when…” not when she came back to Tamlin. Not when she could still spill every little secret of ours to one of our biggest enemies.

Cas looked like he wanted to argue but only said “Princess gets to see her.”

“Because I have a winning personality.” I smiled at him and he launched one of the small pillows from his chair at me. I managed to deflect it but as it bounced off my arm it hit Azriel square in the face. I bit down my laughter at his faux outraged face. He threw it back and before I knew it, they were yelling at each other, well Cas was yelling and Azriel was trying his hardest not to laugh.Sensing a fight was emanate, I pushed off of Azriel and spoke loudly over the two Illyrian males.

“Outside if you’re going to fight.” Even Armen, who had stalked into the room around as Rhys laughed at that.

Cassian turned to me, his temper still flaring. “We’re not dogs.”

“Last time you both fought in the house, I was cleaning up glass for a week.” I raised an eyebrow at him, challenging him to say otherwise.

Azriel spared Cassian from having to respond. “C’mon.” He said, pulling Cassian to what I could only assume was the training ring.

“I forgot how much you look like Rhys when you get bossy.” Cassian said as he was pulled from the room. And my responding gesture made the rest of the room go up in laughs. Rhys followed them out. Probably needing to get rid of his own tension and Armen had snuck back into the research room.

I didn’t have it in me to just stare at maps all day long, regardless of knowing how much I needed to. So I just stayed in the living room, a random book from the shelf pulled onto my lap.

Rhys came back first, hair only slightly disheveled, wings out proudly. “Once I get out of the bath, it’s time for your training.” I huffed and he could sense I was about to argue with him. “Cassian and Azriel told me you can’t use your powers.” Traitors. “So we’re going to figure out what the hel is wrong.”

Less than an hour later I was sitting in Rhys’ study. A small candle flickering in front of me, taunting me to snuff it out. I pulled and pulled for any of the small dark tendrils to do so but found nothing. Sweat was beginning to form on my brow with how hard I was concentrating.

Rhys huffed in frustration at my lack of progress. “It was easier teaching Feyre to read.”

“Then by all means, go back to that. I’d love to see her throw another shoe at you.” I bit back at him and he just rolled his eyes.

“Try again.” He went right back to business, ignoring my statement. I really did try. I Have been trying. That rich darkness that normally lingered under my skin seemed like it was hidden behind a wall. Just out of my grasp, so close I could almost taste it, almost touch it. I yelped as I reached out towards it. Pain flickering through my body as if it had burned me. Rhys’ hand on my shoulder snapped me out of whatever had happened. Sweat broke across my skin and I flinched as I felt my magic fight against the wall inside my head.

“What’s happening?” I spoke to my brother. He just stared at me before I felt a phantom knock at my mental shields. I forced them open and almost screamed at the pain that flooded through me. I knew the moment he found it. Felt that sickening thread of magic that never released when the spell broke for the other high lords. Rhys’ presence in my head retreated and we could only look at each other. No words to be found between us.

“Fuck.” The first word he uttered and I somehow found it in myself to laugh.

“That bad?”

“Good news is there’s not a physical block. No magic stopping you.” So why did he still look like death froze over? “Bad news, you’re the block.”

“Go on?”

“I don’t fully know but it looks like your magic is being tied up by your own magic.”

“So, you’re saying. I’m the problem?”

“I’ve been saying that your whole life but yes, especially in this case.” He teased, trying to lighten the new tension in the air. I bite

“Well then that simply means you’re going to be stuck with me a lot more. That or I go to Helion.” He rolled his eyes at the mention of the other high lord, one who has been trying for the last few centuries to get me into his bed.

“Maybe.” shit. It must be serious if he’s actually willing to let Helion help. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come down to that.” He says solemnly and points back to the candle. I stare at him for a moment before sighing and trying to cover the light again.

We sit as I try again and again and again. Nothing besides a small puff of black smoke to let us know that I’m even trying. Right as I’m about to say something I see Rhys flinch and his eyes flare with anger. Only not at me, his eyes look far away as that anger homes in on whatever must have made his shoulders tense.

I see his eyes come back into focus and I don’t even have to ask before he’s spilling. “He hurt her.” I don’t need him to say who. “I can tell it’s nothing serious but I got nothing but pure fear from her.” Rhys had already explained that the bargain amplified the usual effects of the mating bond. That he could sometimes get whiffs of any strong emotion from Feyre. Fear, anger, mostly fear but as her nightmares have started to fade I haven't heard much about it. My stomach curls and I try to will my hands to not shake as my mind drifts to the endless possibilities of what could have happened.

“It’ll be okay. She’s strong.” The words felt wrong in my mouth and Rhys said the very thing I had been thinking.

“You were strong.”

��Well you can’t very well march in there and get her.” I saw the look on his face. “You can’t, we can’t. And she still doesn’t want us. Unless it feels like that first time…” He shook his head. So not as bad. Still bad, still awful enough for her to send fear down the bond but not bad enough that Rhys could only hear her screaming for someone to get her out of there. So we both let it go, ignored the thoughts that told every part of us to go help this girl from whatever Tamlin was inflicting. But even I knew that Tamlin’s anger comes from his love. That anger so wrapped in fear that something will happen that he almost wills those incidents into existence.

We spend hours trying to break whatever block is in my head until I’m grumpy and all but biting his head off at every little comment he makes. He bites right back at me and I know there's no point in this anymore, both of us too on edge to do anything productive. Throwing his hands up in surrender he doesn’t stop me as I storm out of his study. I run head first into Azriel on my way to my room, his hands resting on my arms so I don’t topple over.

“Training went that well.” He says with a small chuckle. The noise sends a low growl from my throat and he takes his hands off of me. “We’ll figure this out.” He says and I continue my path to my room, not staying long enough to see the concern in his eyes.

I was still grumpy by the time that dinner rolled around but I managed to pull myself out of bed. My head is pounding from the strain and whatever Rhys did inside my mind. I throw on the first thing I find, still in my thin nightgown I pulled on after my bath, and head down to dinner. I don’t say much and not even Cassian tries to cheer me up, all he does is remind me that I’m joining them for training in the morning. I don’t respond with anything other than stabbing the chicken on my plate with extra force.

---------------------

I struck the center of the dummy and looked over for Cassian for any semblance of approval. He gave me a bored look and I stomped over to the stupid thing and pulled all three of the daggers out of it. Cas wanted me to get back up to snuff with long range before he put a sword in my hand again. I had never needed the sword that I kept strapped to my back on the missions I would accompany Azriel on, always having my powers to stop anyone from getting that close in the first place. Between Azriel shadows and my blanket of darkness, very rarely did we ever need anything more than truth teller.

I grunted in frustration as the sharp metal flew through my fingers time after time, all of them hitting the center of the target.

“Fuck this Cas, I did the warm ups, I did the exercises. Let me fight.” I needed to do something more than this. If I couldn’t use my powers, if they never came back, I needed to be useful. In no world would I just sit around and let my friends risk death while I sat around playing with my maps. Cassian must have heard the desperation in my voice because he agreed.

We circled each other and I got a rare glimpse of Cassian with no restraint. This was the war general that scared people just by being on the battlefield. I tried not to let the frision of fear show as he surveyed every inch of me, seemingly reading my body language like I was screaming my next moves at him. I didn’t stand a chance. His fist made contact with my nose before I could turn out of the way and I fell to the ground. My hand went up and when I pulled it back, my fingers were sticky with my blood. Cassian was instantly in front of me, mumbling out apologies. I held up my hand to stop him from talking.

“Cassian.” A stern voice called out as I ran my hand along my nose again, feeling for any breaks. “What did you do to her?” Azriel’s voice was full of concern as he knelt besides Cassian.

“Alright bat brains. I’m not dying,” I started to stand up and they both reached out their hands to help me up, I swatted them away and brushed off the dust on my pants. “It’s not the first time I’ve been too slow before, and it’s not going to be the last.” They both stared at me and I rolled my eyes. “C’mon. I still have to beat you Cas.” He shook his head laughing and Azriel shot him a glare.

Cassian, never one to back down from a challenge, and never one to miss an opportunity to piss off Azriel, agreed to go back into the ring with me. He coached me through it this time, slowing down his punches to explain how to predict them and block them. All things that I knew but just needed more practice. By the end of the hour I was covered in sweat but I was able to block him without his guidance. Azriel didn’t leave either, hanging back to watch, adding his own little tips and tricks to help me get some advantage over Cassian but I still couldn’t get him to budge an inch.

“Do you want to get in with her then?” Cassian shouted to Azriel as he continued to assist me from the side lines. I made a motion for Cassian to stop as I tried to catch my breath. Placing my hands on my knees and sucking in screaming breaths.

“I think I’m done.” I panted out.

“If you wanted me to make you breathless princess, all you had to do was ask.” He winked and tossed a canteen full of water over to me. I drank half of it in one long gulp and forced myself to stand up straight. My muscles were already crying out in protest. Tomorrow was going to suck for sure.

The three of us walked back up to the house, laughing and joking and I felt proud of the progress I was making. Even if the dried blood still on my hands might have suggested otherwise.

---------------------

A month went by so fast, I had to tick off the days to make sure I was right.I woke up to Rhys preparing to collect Feyre from the spring court again. Rhys didn’t ask me to go with him this time, after that last flood of emotions he knew he would have a hard time containing himself let alone both of us.

I was already waiting at the house for when they got back, ready to play mediator if need be. They had barely materialized before my brother was fussing over Feyre. The two bickered back and forth but from the way she looked over herself, I knew even she could hear the worry in his voice. She had lost more weight since the last time she had been here. The shadows under her eyes creeped back onto her pale skin. “Eat breakfast with me.” He said and I shifted from my place in the living room. Mor was somewhere in the house after her visit to the Court of Nightmares yesterday. Probably still decompressing with the bottle of wine she took with her to bed.

I gave Feyre a small smile and she didn’t return it, but she didn’t glare at me either. It’s a step at least. The female in front of me gave a heavy sigh after weighing Rhys offer. The growl I heard come from her stomach seemed to make the decision for her. I didn’t follow them, if she had wanted me to I would have been able to tell. So I stayed close enough that I could swoop in and save her from my brother's overprotectiveness if need be. The glimpses of their conversation I caught weren’t the best but I stilled completely as I caught,

“I was tortured, beaten and fucked until only I could tell myself who I was, what I was protecting. Please- help me keep that from happening again. To Prythian.” My heart ached at the words. He had had it so much worse than I did, regardless of what people might believe. I could see it on his face during some of his bad days, the scars of what Amarantha did to him. I didn’t listen to her response as I walked to my room.

I found Feyre the next day as I had the last time, hunched over the table with more lines from Rhys to read. She was copying them in better handwriting than she had before. When I approached she didn’t so much as look up at me. I called her name gently and still nothing. So I took that as my sign to let her be. Rhys had gotten called to the war camps later that day.

“Just look after her please. I know she’s fine but let me know if either of you need anything.” He blabbered as I all but pushed him out the door.

“We’ll be fine, you overprotective mother hen.” His face fell slightly and I couldn’t stand that look on his face. “I’ll let you know if she needs anything, okay? Now go be a High Lord.” I saw a hint of a smile as he winnowed out of the house.

I tried to stay out of her way. Whatever bit of goodwill she had allowed me last time seemingly disappeared. So I kept bringing her books when she ran out of the ones Rhys had given her, brought her food and left her to her own devices. Today, she didn’t give me a glare as I sat down in the armchair on her left. I opened my own book without giving her a second glance. The small hmph she made was the only indication she had even noticed my presence. She didn’t want to talk and quite frankly, neither did I, perfectly content with getting lost in our own books.

It was around midday and the sun was just starting to peek through the heavy curtains of the library when I felt Rhys appear in the room. In his hands were trays of food which he presented to Feyre. A small thank you left her lips and I wanted to smack that smug look on Rhys face as he teased her. But then I saw his face get serious and I suddenly felt very much like I was intruding on a private moment. “Tell me how I can help you.” His voice was scratchy and I knew he was trying to hold back tears, to keep the conversation casual enough that she wouldn’t shut him out again. I truly did try to tune them out but these were the same things I had been wanting to say to her all week but couldn’t find the strength.

“If you fall apart then the bitch wins. All of that is for nothing and she wins.” Rhys said plainly and Feyre flinched before going back to her book. I could tell that she was talking to him in her mind. My eyes grew wide when I saw that slight layer of frost cover the book cover. Rhys barely had time to dodge said book as it was thrown right at his head. It bounced harmlessly to the floor and I stifled a laugh. The laugh died in my throat when I saw the flicker of flames in her palms and I tried to reach my mind out to Rhys, he all but threw me out.

Feyre and Rhys left later that day. I didn’t offer to come with, didn’t want to come with. Just like last time when Rhys returned to Velaris, he stalked to his office and hid out for the rest of the evening. I only got close enough to the door to leave a plate of food outside before retreating back to my side of the house. His emotions pouring through the door were enough to give me a headache, the way it felt like I was walking into a brick wall. I didn’t try to talk to him for the rest of the day. Instead choosing to pull my attention back to the map in my study.

I had been neglecting it to focus on Feyre and Rhys but I knew it’s just because I wasn’t getting anywhere. No matter how many books I read, I couldn’t think of anything that would help us win this war. Not without all seven courts working together and I knew Hel would freeze over before that ever happened.

So I read until my eyes became blurry and heavy. My head had gotten so heavy like the words were getting stuck and wouldn’t leave. When I felt my eyes starting to close and knocking on the door jostled me awake. I saw the shadows before I saw him, too tired to notice that they had time to take in my current state and report back to Az.

“You should take a break.” He said as he went to pull up a chair at the table I was sitting at.

“I can’t take a break when I haven’t found anything yet.” I whined at him. “I’m supposed to be good at this, I am good at this. Or at least I was.” I slumped in my chair and I saw that familiar look of concern flash through his warm amber eyes. He sat there, I could almost see the gears in his brain turning, his shadows starting to swirl around the floor like soothing waves. I stared at them and felt my mind calm slightly. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, wings flapping behind him.

We just sat there in silence for a few moments and then he stood up suddenly. My eyes tracked the movement, following his arm as he extended a hand to me. It was like my brain short circuited at the gesture. He had to clear his throat before I snapped out of it and I timidly placed my hand in his. He led me out of my office and I felt his shadows on my heels. “Where are we going?” I laughed at how ridiculous this must look, one of the fiercest Illyrian warriors towing someone behind him like an excited kid.

“Just be quiet. You’ll know when we get there.” His own voice full of an almost giddy excitement. So I let him pull me along. All the way outside until it clicked. There was a little patch of grass beside the Sidra that I loved to sit by when the weather was just starting to turn warm. Our little group used to spend free days out on that field, just soaking in the warmth. He gave me a proud smirk when we finally reached that stretch of grass. “Now, you’re going to sit and just enjoy being out here.”

“Is that an order?” I teased and he didn’t miss a beat.

“If that means you’ll actually do it, then yes.” I sat and looked out over the river. The lights and sounds of the city walk could just trickle in, becoming a lovely hum in the back of my mind. I patted the spot next to me and Azriel sat beside me. I curled my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on top of them. Just looking at the city I loved so much. We didn’t talk, Azriel was always good for that. He knew when I needed the quiet. The sound of the small waves helped clear my head and after a while I felt my shoulders sink down, the tension lightening. It was still there of course but became more manageable as I could smell the water and Azriel’s pine and fresh air scent. It wrapped its way around me and held me like my favorite blanket.

“Thank you.” I said, breaking the comfortable silence. We didn’t look at each other, still staring out at the city just ahead.

“Of course. Anything for you,” He cleared his throat, “For one of my friends.” I bit down the string at that little word. I fought the urge to put some distance between us at the feeling that flooded me. The cruel reminder of just exactly how he saw me. So I just pulled my legs in tighter and ignored all the thoughts of him that began to take over.

We didn’t head back to the house until sundown. The pair of us walked under the flickering faelights that lined the streets. It still blows my mind how much the city changed while I was gone. I told him that much. And he shrugged off the tiny complement.

“Rhys and I will never be able to thank you enough for how much you all did while we were…gone.” My voice felt tight as I finished, “You kept our home safe when we couldn’t.” He turned to look at me and went to say something but stopped himself. His face looked slightly pained, in that concerned way he always managed. He shook his head slightly.

“You did more than we ever could. You and Rhys gave us a chance to have something to protect in the first place.” In his words, I was pulled back to that night when it had all gone to shit. How Cassian and Azriel were out dealing with the camps and how I couldn’t convince Rhys not to go so I insisted that I come along. I had to beg him to let me come with him and he still wasn’t happy about it. We walked right into a trap and before most of his power had been ripped away from him he wiped the memory of Velaris from everyone who was under the mountain and let our friends know what was happening, how they couldn’t come after us without leaving Velaris unguarded.

Azriel’s small nudge to my shoulder pulled me back to the present and his eyes asked the question before he needed to.

“I’m okay.” But I felt how my arms had wrapped around myself but he didn’t say anything about it, letting me have my space. We reached the house again and I could hear Cassian and Mor’s voices floating down the hallway. The sound alone plastered a smile on my face. Azriel followed behind me as I rounded the corner and Cassian all but cheered when he saw me. “There you are princess, we went to pull you out of your study but it seems someone beat us to it.” He gave me a small wink and I laughed at the joke behind it. I shook my head as I sat down next to Mor who was already pouring me a glass of wine.

Rhys spoke to me across the table, “I peaked in and saw the map, tomorrow if you’re up for it I want all of us to go over it.” I nodded and he smiled at me. And we all ate and joked and I left the love I felt for the people in the room washed over me like the waves in the Sidra.

---------------------

“So if it comes down to war. Who do we have?” Rhys turned to Cassian and myself. We were all sitting around the map I had been working on, face grim as I explained the various markings.

“The Illyrians don’t have a choice. The court of nightmares should. We kept up pretty well with Dawn and Day. Winter…” His voice trailed off. I still remember Kallias’ face as the news broke of the attack on Winter. The thousands of babes dead by Amarantha’s hand. The pure loathing his face held as he looked at Rhys.

“I can talk to them.” I had always liked Kallias. And from the little bit I’ve heard since our return home, he finally married Viviane after being friends since childhood. Viviane was sweet and her, Mor and I had been known to get ourselves in trouble when together. If she would listen, Winter would come around.

“Autumn and Spring are lost causes.” Cassian sighed beside me, slumping down in his chair.

“Tamlin is delusional enough to think it would keep him safe.” And keep Feyre safe. But I didn’t say that outloud. “Beron is…well Beron. Unless we think we can pursue one of the brothers to take him out of the equation, I think it’s better to not plan for them.”

“Summer?” Rhys asked pointedly ignoring Cas’ words on the other seasonal courts.

“Tarquin is new and young. He’ll side with the majority. But I think I could talk to him and at least see where his loyalties lie.” I had only talked to the new high lord a few times during our time under the mountain. He seemed nice enough, one of the few people who was even willing to talk to me at all. No fear of the role I had been forced into and hoped he would side with us. Hoped his newness wouldn’t scare him into the easy choice.”

“I don’t like the idea of having two courts fighting against us.” Azriel finally spoke up. I had almost forgotten he was in the room but his shadow currently sitting at my feet should have been reminder enough. “Hybern has the armies he needs and if he has the cauldron….”

“So what do you suggest?” My brother asked, head in his hands.

“We talk to them. Let them know that we won’t win this if we’re not unified. Remind them that we fought a war once to avoid this very thing and some courts were on the wrong side of history then and would be now.” I spoke plainly, it was the only answer. If it had been anyone else the idea would have been shot down. But Rhys just let out a heavy breath and nodded.

“We’ll wait until we’re sure. Some courts will refuse to believe there will be a war until it’s staring them in the face.” The tone in Rhys’ voice letting us know this meeting was over. We all stayed in the room, the same exhausted look sat on our faces. “Good work.” Rhys said to me as he studied the map again. “You got all of this from books?” I had been too young to remember most of the war, let alone fight in it. But at least someone had thought it smart to recount all of it in very exact detail, I just managed to translate to current day Prythian. Rhys was silently nodding to himself as he really studied the map. The others slowly filter out of the room, leaving Rhys and I alone studying the map.

“And these?” He pointed to the orange marks I had drawn all over.

“Trade agreement routes, the thicker the line, the more movement there is through that path. They would be the most vulnerable areas since people know them so well. They’re also normally the quickest way between courts.” I pointed out more of the lines and pins. I had so much marked off, down to what ways the rivers flowed and where their currents changed. Rhys just drank in all the information I threw at him, only nodding along to the explanations. I was about to start on another part of the map before I saw his face freeze.

Rhys had completely stilled besides me. That all-too-familiar far-away look on his. When I raised my eyebrow at him, “What is it? Is it…” He didn’t wait for me to finish, instead he let me into his mind and I almost flinched at whatever feeling Feyre was sending him. The crushing agony and pure terror. It was a feeling I knew all too well. These weren't the few stray glimpses Feyre had sent him while they were separated. This was the very thing all of us were holding our breath for, hoping it never happened.

“Rhys we can’t just ignore it this time.” I spoke, already leaving the table. His hand wrapped around my wrist, making me pause.

“If you storm in there, Tamlin has every right to declare a war.”

“And we’ll have every right to kill his sorry ass. Something that we could have done decades ago.” I spit back at my brother.

“Please.” His voice shook with fear. Scared for Feyre and maybe for me. I put my hands up in surrender. I couldn’t argue against the tone in his voice.

“So how do you want to do this then?” I asked him and we started planning.

In less than 10 minutes Mor had winnowed right on the border of spring and summer. Rhys had insisted that she come along to help. Her status would help blanket us from any repercussions. Plus her powers would come in handy if any of the guards found us. So her and I snuck into that manor I had sworn I would never see again. Do it for Feyre. Be brave for her. I said to myself as my own terror rose to a fever pitch.

I could see the darkness already pouring out of the house. My anger quickly turned into fear. What did he do to her? The voice in my head screamed. Rhys had already broken the wards and whatever was locking her inside the house. Mor knocked out the guards before they could spot us. When we finally entered the house my blood ran cold. Sitting in a ball of inky darkness was Feyre. Her screams pierced something deep inside of me. I looked around and locked eyes with Alis. Her eyes wide as she took in my face.

“He locked her in the house. I tried to…Please just keep her safe.” Was all the older fae had said to me.

My heart warmed at the concern in her voice. The same concern she had once shown me. I nodded and walked towards Feyre. Whatever darkness she was wielding seemed to only be for her and as I shook her shoulder, gently saying her name they retreated slightly. I looked over to Mor who only gave me a small nod. Taking her cue, I picked up the shaking female and was startled by how light she felt. Mor spoke up from beside me. “Your guards are going to have a hell of a headache when they wake up.”

Alis nodded in understanding and I added. “Don’t tell him where we took her. Please.” And for a second I felt just as broken as the female in my arms. I knew she would tell him, and would have to tell him but a small part of me wished she wouldn’t. But that was unfair to expect of her. It reminded me too much of the same hope I had when I left. Face sunken in and heart broken as I begged her to not tell Tamlin I was leaving. No one was there to help me and I’ll be damned if Feyre ever felt that pain. I didn’t say another word as Mor winnowed us right in front of the border. It felt like I could finally breathe again as the scent shifted to ripe fruit and salt water that marked us as safe. Marked us in summer. Feyre shifted in my arms and mumbled something softly.

Mor soothed a hand through her hair. “You’re free.”

Rhys quickly scoped Feyre from my arms without so much as a word. He looked at Mor and I

“We did everything by the book.” Rhys nodded before I felt the air whoosh around my ears and I knew we had made it home. Rhys deftly climbed the stairs to take Feyre to her room and I just stood staring at my brother back. I blocked out the memories that began to rise to the surface. The scar on my arm prickled and when my other hand raised to scratch at the angry white lines that trailed down my forearm, Mors hand wrapped against mine. Grounding me in the present.

“She’s free.” She repeated to me.

“Thank the mother.” I responded as I started to climb the stairs suddenly bone tired.

Feyre didn’t emerge from her room that night or the next morning. More than once I found myself standing outside her door, hand held up to knock but some part of my brain told me not to. Rhys hasn't left her side the whole time she was asleep. Whatever magic she had used in the house had exhausted her and I felt my heart pang for her. How alone she must have felt, how scared she must have been to be locked in that house. I remember my simple panic the first time I went to the basement of the townhouse. How it transported me back to under the mountain, I couldn’t imagine how it felt to be locked away again.

When I finally did see her, she seemed to have gotten a little color back. Enough so that she was able to argue with Rhys again. I didn’t linger this time to hear the fight, letting them duke it out in private. But as Rhys turned the corner, I knew something that happened. Something important.

”We’re going home.”

If someone had told me two months ago that Feyre would be standing in the living room of our home in Velaris I would have probably keeled over laughing. But here we were, Feyre’s eyes flickering from spot to spot in the house. I couldn’t get a read on her face but before I could even process that, I heard a pounding on the door. Cassian’s voice filtering through the wood, already complaining. Rhys shot me a look that said deal with them please. He tried to hide it but I could tell he was waiting for Feyre’s reaction to her surroundings. A hint of anything to gauge how she was feeling. He needed her to like this place like he needed to breathe. So I excused myself from the room and slipped out the front door.

”Are you serious Cas?”

”I want to meet her. She’s right there, my brothers m-” I cut him off, blocking both him and Azriel from trying to peek into the house. They could easily push right past me but stayed a healthy distance.

”Do not finish that sentence. Do you want all of Velaris to know?” I whispered screamed at him and he rolled his eyes.

”I promise you drama queen, no one’s up this early. I don’t want to be up this early.”

After a few minutes of us bickering back and forth, Rhys opened the door and said to us, “Are you all just going to stand there?”

Cassian all but trampled me trying to get in the house. I laughed when I saw his crestfallen face as he noticed Feyre was no longer in the room. “She was here right?” He spoke to the room.

”Maybe she’s scared of your good looks Cas, can’t have her falling in love with the wrong Illyrian bastard now can we?” I shot Rhys a wink and he growled lightly.

”She’ll meet you when she’s ready.” Was all he said before he rangled all of us into the dining room.

Feyre slept for the rest of the morning. She came down the stairs dressed in Night Court clothes and I felt my breath catch in my throat. The way they seemed to compliment her well enough and I had to bite my tongue to prevent me from pointing that out. Rhys met her at the door and shot me a vulgar gesture at my sugary sweet, “Be safe kids.” That I called out from my spot on the couch. I sat on the couch until the sun started to set. I had just got to the good part and debated even going to the dinner at all but I was dying to see how Feyre would handle our crazy family. If she had any chance at surviving here, she needed to like them or they would drive her crazy. Although from Cassian’s earlier words that might be the case either way. So I groaned and pulled myself off the couch, pulling on the first thing that I saw and winnowed with Mor to the front steps of the house.

Azriel and Cassian were waiting to fly us up. Cassian wrapped his arm around Mor’s waist and Azriel did the same to me. I hardly felt my feet leave the ground before he was already placing me down in front of the door. I had not had the heart to come here since I’ve been home. Too many memories for me to want to come alone and Mor grabbed my hand as she pulled me through the threshold. We had just settled in before I heard the faint trails of Rhys and Feyre voices outside the door. I couldn’t stop the two males from bounding to the door, they flung it open to reveal a very annoyed looking Rhys. I held my breath as she stood in the doorway, eyes searching for something and she landed on me. She squared her shoulders but Cassian was already speaking.

”I promise we won't bite.”

Last I heard, Cassian, no one has taken you up on that offer.” And I laughed as Feyre’s face blanched. I didn’t miss the way the female's eyes raked over the Illyrians as they stepped into the light. I tried not the bristle as her eyes lingered on Azriel just a fraction longer than I would have liked. Rhys introduced the two and it was Feyres response to one of his questions that made me feel a frision of pride.

”How the hell did you manage to survive this long without anyone killing you?” She would fit right in and Cassian’s booming laugh told me that very same thing. Armen had appeared almost out of thin air as we all made our way to the table.

Feyre was slowly filled in about how the three brothers had met. Her eyes flickered to me during the story.

”Where do you fit into all of this, besides being his sister.” She quickly added. Everyone seemed to be waiting for me to answer.

”I mean there's not much else to it besides that. He got stuck with them so I did too. I nearly knocked Cassian's teeth in the first time I met him and I’ve been stuck with them ever since.” I stuck my tongue out at Cassian who rolled his eyes.

”You mean you broke your fist trying to, princess. I had to nurse you back to health and you were helpless but to fall for my charm.” Now it was my turn to roll my eyes and I fought the urge to throw my bread across the table at him. If it wasn't for Feyre I would have. The rest of the stories and tales flowed out and, much to Feyre’s credit, she didn’t falter in the slightest. She interjected at the perfect moments, making jokes that had everyone roaring with laughter. Then the tables were turned onto her and Cassian was asking her about her life. After she had finished she turned to Rhys.

’I accept your offer- to work with you.” And I wanted to scream and cheer. I felt no such joy from Rhys as he started.

”Good because we start tomorrow. Hybern is starting this war and he’s going to bring back Jurian to help him.” I felt a shiver run down my back. Rhys had neglected to tell me that part. In an instant the lighthearted conversation was thrown to the side and Cassian launched into full general mode.

I tried my best to keep up with this new bit of information, how it would throw a wrench into any attempts of a plan. I missed the conversation that followed, mind already trying to figure out the adjustments I would need to make to the map in my office. Armen managed to snap me out of my thinking.

”The Bone Carver might indeed be willing to talk to her.” She pointed a finger at Feyre and I went to argue against the ancient female. Rhy had beaten me to it.

”Your choice, always your choice, Feyre.” and I tried to keep the fear off my face as she answered.

”How bad could it be.” Cassians’ answer had her face pale as a ghost and it was clear dinner was over at that moment. The others reduced to arguing over the semantics and who would be doing what in preparation for their journey to the prison. My eyes suddenly felt very heavy at the sounds of their voices. Azriel’s gentle hand on my shoulder was the sign that the arguing had stopped at all. I didn’t need to be asked a second time and as he flew me back down to the ground below Velaris, I wondered if all of us would make it through the war a second time.

Next Chapter: Here

Taglist: @durgenyx @tothestarsandwhateverend @quinzzelx

#acomaf #acosf #acotar #acotar fanfiction #acowar #azriel acotar #azriel x reader #a court of thorns and roses #azriel x oc #azriel fanfic #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #inner circle #rhys acotar #rhysand acotar #rhysand #feysand #rhys!sister

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meiguicha · 7 months ago

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AITA for complimenting my colleague - Update 1

Blade x Fem!Reader - Reddit exists AU

hrghgerghgh

Original Post - Final Update

r/AmItheAsshole ~ 4 day. ago

easternskiesonamoonlitnight

My (???F) colleague (???M) hasn't killed me yet. But I'm pretty sure I only have about three system hours before he actually does.

Before I get started with the update, I just wanna address some of the comments as well as add some relevant information.

I am physically very affectionate with my other colleagues and since most of us are female, casual affection is very common between us. As such, I had, in the heat of the moment and I fully understand it was uncalled for, done the same for Dao.

Our job however involves some dubious content at times, so it's really important that we do trust one another, and I guess calling my colleagues that is kinda misleading but eh.

No, I cannot say exactly what I do for work, but just know it involves a lot of travelling. And also quitting is really not an option, lowkey think even if I did, he'd still come find me.

Lastly, Dao is not some ruthless violent meathead. He's very gentle with my other colleagues and I guess me at times. I have no idea what that commenter was going on about but one of my other colleagues has since informed me about 'ass comprehension' so yeah.

Anyways, Dao is still doing all the things he did in my previous post but now he's a little more touchier.

I don't know. We've had one other very short task right after our first one, and at one point he herded me like sheep into an alleyway when a crowd had started to form. It was kinda scary but at the same time I think my attraction to him worsened.

Dao is a pretty big guy so it was like a lightbulb moment in my head. Being so close to him really puts into perspective how easily he could just snap my spine in half like a twig, not to mention he's physically way stronger than me.

Like, he's really big and when he put his hand on my back, I think I could feel blood rush everywhere but my head.

Recently one of my more senior colleagues, I'll call her Franz (???F), also has started dropping some really cryptic hints regarding Dao and at first, I just thought she was being her usual self. Then when my other colleague, Grey Dog (???F) also started being weird, i.e, asking me about flowers and my favourite foods, I realised maybe something was wrong.

I guess the final nail in my coffin was when my closest colleague, Glow worm (???F), had comforted me on something about "emotions being hard to come to terms to, and change is scary but sometimes we need to just accept what is coming.".

Even if you ignore all that, not even the aeons could possibly plan whatever bullshit just happened.

Dao went on a solo task earlier in the week, and I was working on some last minute repairs on my equipment when I felt something on my shoulders. I thought Grey Dog was being stupid again and absentmindedly petted the person on the head.

I looked and regretted it immediately. He came back early and was covered in blood.

It wasn't his.

I panicked and kinda dropped everything to clean him up, and he said nothing to me the whole time, just let me fuss over him. After that, I went back to doing my work and I could feel him just staring. He stayed the entire time and I guess I passed out at one point because when I woke up, he left his still bloodied coat on me.

Important part is that I got a really cryptic note on my door today and Dao basically told me to get ready.

Am I going to die? Did my colleagues know what he's going to do to me and were just trying to comfort me in my last moments?

I'm just hoping that he'll at least be quick with it OTL. If I don't update, please assume that he definitely killed me.

GalacticBaseballer069 ~ 3 system hr. ago ~ don't die, please. do you guys take job offers.... pleek.....

RealName_Online ~ 12 system hr. ago ~ The misunderstanding is actually insane, lol TileGamer4ever ~ 9 system hr. ago ~ Maybe OP and Dao really are perfect for each other.

Code_Action! ~ 2 day. ago ~ what is up with these goofy ahh names

QuietonDeck ~ 17 system hr. ago ~ How is it possible for someone to be so dumb? Genuinely, you see all these warning signs and yet have the audacity to post things like this acting all oblivious as if you're blind. It's like your brain is rotting from your one-sided attraction to him that you can find things like how big he is and how easily he could kill you attractive. If this keeps up, I wouldn't be surprised if you pop up in the news dea... Read more Theyearspasson ~ 16 system hr. ago ~ you wanna kiss OP so bad it makes you look stupid.

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #blade hsr #hsr blade #blade x reader

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jade-bright · 7 months ago

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Got really into Spy x Family recently...my mind's been working.

Hear is my take on Sterek Spy x Family au:

Option A: Spy Stiles x Assassin Derek

"Stiles Jankowski", code name: Void, the FBI's (or some other organization's) best spy/agent, always gets his missions done and has never been caught. Man of many faces/disguises, a silent and deadly enemy to his assigned targets (for the purpose of being able to disguise him scent and hide his heartbeat, Stiles is at least a little magic in all of these). Stiles has lots of experience with dealing with the supernatural, like were's, darach's and many others . Nothing and no one has ever gotten the jump on him, until…

Derek Hale, code name: The Wolf, a born werewolf that later became trained as an assassin in order to take care of his little sister after their family died. If any of his targets were ever found, they'd be found with claw marks and more often than not, their throats ripped out, but...his victims are never found. Derek was never interested in romantic relationships, but Cora keeps telling him to "get a life," and he does, when he suddenly crosses paths with Stiles...

Option B: Assassin Stiles x Spy Derek

Derek Hale, code name: Alpha, born wolf whose whole family was murdered and then later on he became a spy. Because of his training and werewolf abilities, Derek's the best spy the organization has got. He's always able to find and get the jump on his targets once he's locked in on their scent/heartbeat, it's game over for them. The same reason, no one's able to get the jump on him, until there's one person he doesn't immediately catch a scent or heartbeat...

Mieczyslaw Stiles Stilinski, code name: Little Red, took up the career path of an assassin as a way to inadvertently help his Sheriff father with the bad guys that get away. In his training, he learned how to hide his scent and heartbeat in case any of his targets were shifters, and sometimes he forgets to turn off his "ilusion." Despite how much his boss nags at him, to quit "playing with his food" he's never gotten caught, scratched and bruised sure, but it's worth it in order to cause his victims a little mischief. Everyone in his life is bothering him about finding someone, and he firmly believes he'll never find someone. That is until he runs into one Derek Hale, who promptly asks him to marry him...

Option C: My thoughts - Spy Stiles w/Yor's personality x Assassin Derek w/Loid's personality

If you watched the anime, you might agree with me. Yor's personality as a civilian fits Stiles', meanwhile Loid's fits Derek more. However, in their jobs, I think Stiles would be better suited for what Loid does for his job as a spy, especially with how it seems his spy identity as "Twilight" is kinda treated the same way as how some fics I've read treat "Void" as being another identity Stiles can take. It's hard to try to think of how Derek works better as an assassin rather than a spy, seeing as, in either job, he'd be offing people, but also, the acrobatics, feats of incredible strengths AND reflexes that Yor does as a civilian and assassin are definitely things I could see Derek doing, probably because that's how he was in the show.

Now I have like basic ideas for how Eli would be included in any of these options, in terms of how Sterek come across him and go into choosing him. But, remembering the "OG" purpose of Anya having been adopted, (infiltrating the school to get closer to a target), that's where my brain hasn't worked much ideas and plot for him. But if yall want to know how I think Eli is introduced in any of the options, let me know.

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cripplecharacters · 4 months ago

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Hi, Im writing two autistic characters and I would like some advice for their backstory. I myself am autistic and Im using them to project my own experiences, but Id like to ask for some outside opinions as well. The two characters are twins, the sister was always better at masking than the brother, who also had really bad sensory issues. In the future they ended up having a falling out when their friend group all goes out to a concert, and the brother can’t enjoy it because the noise hurts his ears. Afterwards they go to a restaurant and they have an arguement because the brother can’t eat the food due to his sensory issues (keep in mind neither of them are diagnosed) and they’ve been on not the best terms since and low contact. The main reason why its such a big deal is because it was meant to celebrate one of their friends (brother’s best friend) getting into their dream college.

Their story basically tackles the brother learning that he isn’t a burden on the people around him, while the sister also tackles her own internalized ableism.

Hi asker,

So their backstory seems to me, based on the information I have from this ask, that the sister is generally being at least somewhat ableist towards her brother. And since they are both undiagnosed, there's also an element of not understanding sensory needs (especially the brother's) because they aren't necessarily attributing it to being a disability trait. Since the sister masks more than the brother, perhaps she is seeing his sensory issues as something he should be able to control or something of the sort. And the event you describe is kind of the tipping point for their relationship.

Please correct me if I'm wrong there, by the way.

So, I'm not sure on advice on what specifically you want regarding the backstory, but it does seem like a pretty realistic situation, especially in regards to the way you want the story to go. It seems like it's open for character development for both the characters, and probably the friends too.

As a note to your story, not the backstory, internalized ableism is mostly about being ableist to yourself. Disabled people can be ableist to other disabled people, sometimes as a result of internalized ableism and sometimes it's just entirely externalized ableism. The sister does I bet have internalized ableism about herself, and can be ableist towards her brother and his needs. If you want her to address her internalized ableism, she should probably address ableist behavior she's had towards her brother, too.

Some general questions I have that you might want to ask yourself are:

what exactly bothers the sister so much about this? yes, it's about their friend getting into their dream college so i can get that she's mad they didn't celebrate 'accordingly,' but is there anything else?

what does the brother say or do when he gets invited to things like the concert or the restaurant where he can't eat anything? did he know he wouldn't be able to enjoy them? was he hoping to anyway? did he not know and is just finding out how hard that was going to be for him?

what does the brother feel about how his sister has acted? likewise, what does the sister feel about how her brother acted?

do either of them ever figure out they're autistic?

what do the friends feel like about the falling out? they were there. and the way the friends feel and react likely affects how Brother and Sister feel and react as well -- friends can take sides, try to stay out of it, etc.

you say the sister is better at masking than the brother. how does she feel about that? how does she feel about masking? what exactly does she have to mask?

how does the brother feel about his own masking ability? about his sister's ability to do the same?

also, do either of them understand this as masking or is it more of a "i'm sure everyone's doing this all the time. whatever" type of situation?

By the way, I put these questions not because I think you haven't posed any of these questions to yourself already. You probably have asked yourself at least some of them, and know probably many of the answers even if you haven't specifically asked yourself the question.

Mostly I'm putting them out there because answering them and/or knowing you already have the answer can help you like, feel comfortable in how you are telling the story and characterizing these characters.

You currently seem to have a pretty reasonable starting point that makes sense within the story you want to tell. This feels like something that, yeah, that could just happen in real life, and probably has. I think that's likely what you were going for, from what I can gather, so, that would work out!

Hope this helps,

mod sparrow

#autism representation #anonymous #mod sparrow #internalized ableism

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fires-of-ninjago · 8 months ago

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Ninjago Headcannons - Holiday Edition!

Wow, it's really been a while since I've done one of these, hasn't it?

Since we're heading into the end of the year (and the bulk of the holidays), I thought it might be fun to go through what everyone does during this time of year!

KAI: - Kai has a tendency to go a bit over-board when it comes to the holidays; especially the really big ones (Trying to make sure your little sister has the chase to celebrate and enjoy the holidays that you did will do that to you). - He keeps appropriate decorations everywhere they stay (even every version of the Bounty has a special "Holiday Storage Locker" aboard). - Kai might be able to cook some basic dishes and general comfort foods, but even Zane knows better than to interrupt Kai or offer help if he hasn't explicitly asked for it. - He also doesn't mess around whenever it comes to festivals and making sure that everyone

COLE: - Cole loves helping decorate with the others, and it's totally not because he can carry all of the supplies in one go mainly because he's one of the only ones who can keep Kai in check from trying do anything dumb. - He absolutely ADORES the warmth and food that just permeates the monastery during the holidays, though he typically has to put his stealth-skills into action if he doesn't want to get caught making off with a tray of goodies while Kai and Zane's backs are turned/fighting over ingredients. - The one thing that he can't stand though, is how often his dad seems to pick the absolute worst time to call him to tell him about the latest gig his group is playing (When? Tonight in about an hour of course! Kai already bought everyone tickets and has the Bounty fueled up. See you soon!)

JAY: - He's a lot like Kai in terms of celebrating the holidays (though he's more about enjoying the simplest setups rather than going all-out). - Jay can tell when Nya's about to go into all-out decorating mode, so he makes sure to distract her before Kai can get into the full swing of things... - He always makes a point to bring at least Nya with him to see his parents (and totally not because they can and will hunt them down bring the holidays to them (and also totally NOT because Kai will trade baby stories about Nya in exchange for Jay's with them).

ZANE: - When he first struck out on his own after his father's first death, Zane approached the holidays with an inquisitive detachment. Since he really didn't have any attachment to anything, he really didn't feel anything at experiencing the festivities, except for the how familiar the food seemed. - It wasn't until he met Kai and Nya that he really started to understand the whole point of what the holidays were about. Now he looks forward to them, though he makes it a point to keep Kai and Nya in check. - After he came back from the Never Realm, something in him changed: Now instead of simply looking forward to them, he's started going all-out in planning the celebrations. - Him and Kai have ended up pulling knives on each other in the kitchen more than once while cooking. In their individual defenses: They completely ruined each other's special holiday dishes...

NYA: - She's a lot like her brother when it comes to holidays. Kai might go all out, but she's (a little) more chill about it. - She can cook, and she'll sometimes help out her brother, and disarm him when anyone tries messing with his cooking before it's absolutely ready though she'll normally take care of setting up the atmosphere and making sure that all of the boxes get put away mostly so that won't kill himself trying to do everything himself. - The one thing that Nya really loves about the holidays, is how everyone makes a point to strike out and spend time with their extended families outside of the Monastery.

LLOYD: - He used to love to sit back and watch the others do their things and would just soak up the fruits of everyone's festivities. - While everyone was distracted with their preparations, he would sneak in with Cole to grab a few trays from the cooling racks. - Once he aged up though, he would start volunteering to help Nya keep Kai and Zane from going too far in the kitchen (He's take Zane while Nya would grab Kai). - While everyone else is off visiting their families, Lloyd will usually stick around with Kai and Nya, or Cole or even Zane (mostly because Wu is busy meditating, and his mother's usually off on another dig).

#Ninjago #Ninjago Headcannons #Ninjago Kai #Ninjago Cole #Ninjago Jay #Ninjago Zane #Ninjago Nya #Ninjago Lloyd #This was fun #So I'll probably do a Part 2!

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euphemiaamillais · 1 year ago

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meadow song — sejanus plinth

cw: 18+//loss of virginity//blowjobs//handjobs (the whole nine yards basically)//semi-public sex//exhibitionism (coryo is watching)//jealous!coryo//reader is a slut for peacekeepers ;)//creampie//mentions of prev. relationship with coryo

when private coriolanus snow, an ex-lover of yours, enlists you to take the virginity of his best friend, sejanus plinth, you take him up on the offer, wanting to give him a birthday present he’ll remember

when you’d been propositioned by private snow, the more daring and at times flirtatious of the two boys, you’d returned his offer with a look of surprise. to take his fellow peacekeeper’s virginity? you weren’t even sure that his friend had wanted that, but private snow assured you—private plinth was going to be nineteen soon, and it was a gift from his ‘best friend’.

you had slept with private snow once or twice—in fact you’d been the one to pop his cherry—and were in good terms with him. sometimes he’d sneak you some of sejanus’ ma’s food, he seemed to enjoy your company, and because you liked him so much, you’d agreed to be the one to take sejanus’ virginity.

he was a sweet boy, you two had frequently enjoyed conversation at the hob, but part of you was nervous with how to approach him. private snow had invited you to join them in the meadow on their free sunday, and you decided that nothing harmful could come from it.

it was a balmy day, so you were dressed in nothing but a white sundress which scraped just past your knees, and donned a wide-brimmed sun hat that reminded you of what your grandmother used to wear, before the war. you lived in the seam, so the meadow was not too far of a walk, and there was a cool enough breeze that it didn’t feel like heatstroke would strike you down as you made your way to the meadow.

when you arrived, the boys were nestled under the shade of the tree, eating an array of sejanus’ ma’s sweets. you saw there was also a plastic bag—full of ice, coryo’s treat—and a bottle of white liquor. you supposed they’d gotten it the night before at the hob, because half of it had already been downed and the laughter of the two of them indicated they were somewhat inebriated.

‘i hope you two aren’t drunk,’ you greeted them, settling down against one of the rocks.

coriolanus grinned at you, but sejanus could hardly meet your eyes. clearly he was shy about what coryo had planned for him—at least, you assumed that he had been informed about his birthday present.

‘do you want some of ma’s cookies?’ coryo offered you the box, and you took one with a grateful smile.

your stomach had been grumbling since last night—you’d not had enough money to eat today, and were thankful for the delicious sweet treats that ma plinth often baked.

‘thank you, coryo,’ you swallowed it down in one bite, and took another one hungrily.

there was silence for a while, nothing but the sound of jabberjays whistling permeated the balmy air. you were parched, and reached for the bag of ice without asking—you hoped it was a given—piercing the side and letting the cool liquid trickle down your throat.

when you finished drinking and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, you noticed sejanus’ dark eyes were on you. you returned his gaze, and his cheeks suddenly pinked before coryo broke the silence.

‘sej, you don’t need to be embarrassed. she’s only here to help,’ coryo said with a laugh, and sejanus cast a gentle nod.

‘if it helps, i really like you sej,’ you moved to settle down next to him, taking his hand in your own.

‘i don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything,’ he begun, bottom lip trembling.

for such a broad and stocky boy, his temperament was overly-tender. something you wouldn’t have expected, had you not know him, but the way the skin around his eyes softened, and how his cheeks crinkled each time he smiled, told a different story.

‘sejanus…’ your lips curved into a smile. ‘i want to.’

‘she knows what she’s doing, sej,’ coryo remarked with a knowing grin.

‘hey, don’t brag, coriolanus,’ you stretched out the syllables of his name teasingly.

you nestled closer against sejanus, feeling the heat radiating between your bodies. he shyly wrapped an arm around your shoulders, while coryo cast a slightly jealous look at the two of you. sejanus couldn't see that though, he only flushed some more, while you pondered upon how you'd walk him through the motions.

he'd probably kissed a few girls before—you figured they knew games like spin the bottle and truth or dare in the capitol—but in every other aspect, according to coriolanus, his friend was completely virginal. you blushed a little, even though you were a well-versed lover, because taking someone's innocence always resulted in a few awkward moments—usually on the boy's behalf. you wanted it to happen as perfectly as it could, particularly because he wasn't just interested in chasing his pleasure like coryo had been.

‘you can kiss me, if you want,’ you murmured softly to sejanus, who took you up on the offer.

though it was hot, you were too determined to give up on your endeavours. you shut your eyes, and felt sejanus press his lips against yours. he was soft, at first, hand moving to clasp your neck, before he deepened the kiss. his mouth was hot, and his tongue slid between your plump lips which were equally as willing.

you could feel coryo’s eyes burning into the two of you—somehow it caused your thighs to tingle a little at the thought of him watching you, and the jealousy that must’ve been raging through his veins. sejanus let out a soft moan as you moved one hand to grip at the nape of his neck, your touch surprisingly cool. your mouths danced as you kissed for a while longer, uncaring that your foreheads were bumping as you began to embrace one another with fervour.

your forehead glistened with sweat as you pulled away, seeing sejanus’ dark eyes deepen with a look of satisfaction. perhaps he wasn’t as shy as you’d thought—he was certainly a very good kisser. the first time coryo had kissed you it had been like he was suffocating and you were his air. sejanus on the other hand, was softer, more delicate and yet at the same time brought a sense of passion to your embrace.

coryo’s gaze was searing as you met his icy eyes. he fiddled with a stick, seemingly carving it with a touch of envy as you moved to sit by either side of sejanus’ thighs. the feeling of your bare legs brushing against his fatigues made his heart thump a little faster, the blood beginning to pool deep in his belly, threatening to rush to his cock.

you moved your hand to creep up his leg, watching his chest heave slightly as you brushed your palm over the growing bulge in his pants. he stifled a groan, but you could see the way his lips curved into a satisfied grin, and continued to tease your hand against his clothed cock.

‘please, don’t tease me,’ sejanus begged, a look of exasperation drawn upon his features.

you cast a brief nod, seeing how riled up he already was. you were inclined to be kinder with him; you'd forgotten that unlike coryo, most men hated the teasing—whereas coryo saw it as a challenge for himself.

sejanus' cock seemed properly hard when you unzipped his pants, and when you slid your hand past the waistband of his boxers, you could feel how he throbbed. a slight whimper left his lips, but he attempted to keep quiet because being reduced to a whining mess in front of his best friend would have led to lifelong mortification. coryo would never let that go.

you began to stroke him gently, and when you pulled his cock fully out of his underwear your eyes widened. while he wasn't as long as coryo, he had more than double the girth. his tip was leaking a little with precum, and the veins that danced down his cock were angrily pulsating.

'you're really a virgin?' you whispered, one brow cocked in surprise. how could a girl say no to him? he was sweet—too sweet at times—handsome, and his cock... well, you counted yourself lucky to be the one to take his virginity. it was almost an honour.

'yeah...' he admitted, cheeks burning a little.

coryo's ears perked up, as he attempted to surmise what you two were discussing, but you kept your voice low, understanding that sejanus wanted to keep this private.

'well, i never would've been able to tell,' you smiled softly, and sejanus' lips flickered into a pleased, almost proud, grin.

'girls back in the capitol... they didn't like how i was from the districts,' he sighed, eyes filling with a look of forlorn.

'well you don't have to worry about that with me,' you pressed a kiss to his cheek, before moving down to work at his achingly hard cock.

you stroked it gently for a minute or two, thumbing the tip and smearing the precum over his thick shaft. sejanus groaned, tossing his head back as your hands worked deftly at him. you decided to go all out—it was his birthday present, after all.

you moved to kneel in the grass, settling yourself between his knees. he looked down at you with anticipatory want, mouth watering at the sight of you before him. eyes wide, tongue darting out as you bent to lick his cock. coryo couldn't see what was going on—and you preferred to keep it that way. if he was jealous it was his own fault; he'd recruited you to take sejanus' virginity. any claim he'd had over you had obviously been ceded with this request.

sejanus groaned as your tongue laved at his sensitive tip, more precum dribbling out. you smiled up at him as you wrapped your lips around his cock, letting your tongue move down the underside of his shaft, brushing against a particularly sensitive vein. one of his hands gently rooted itself in your hair—he'd seen coryo do that enough times—gently playing with it as you began to bob your head up and down.

your lips were stretched around his girthy cock, and you took him as far down as you could, gagging as his tip hit the back of your throat. his breathing was ragged as your tongue danced around his shaft, sticky saliva coating every inch of him. while his girth made it harder to take him, once you hollowed out your cheeks you managed to fill your throat, unlike coryo who made you tear up when he forced himself as far as he could go.

he bucked his hips gently, but when you made a soft gagging sound in response he murmured out an apology. you shook your head—he was so sweet and gentle, such a contrast to the other men you'd had before. it almost made you want to cry.

a little embarrassed at how close he felt, sejanus began to worry that he'd finish in your mouth. you felt him twitching, and removed your mouth, leaning back against your heels. he sighed at the loss of feeling, but was secretly glad that you'd sensed he was getting closer to his release.

on slightly shaky feet, you stood up and moved your legs either side of sejanus. his hands daringly crept up under the hem of your dress, and when his fingers caressed your inner thigh a soft moan escaped your lips. he felt so good—his touch was warm, and in spite of the heat in the meadow that made your head spin, you leaned into his ministrations. one of his fingers brushed across your core unknowingly, and you let out a loud sigh.

coryo's eyes met yours and your face reddened in embarrassment. he'd heard you make that sound half-a-dozen times with him, and now his best friend—his virgin best friend—was eliciting those same content sighs from your lips.

'seems like you know what you're doing, sej,' you remarked, an impish grin painted upon your face.

sejanus laughed, shaking his head. 'no, not really.'

his cock still throbbed pathetically, and his hips rutted a little in an attempt to ease his wanton need. your thighs tingled as he continued to grasp at them, hands managing to lace themselves into the waistband of your panties. sejanus tugged them down with a look of proud surprise, letting them fall to your ankles.

'sejanus,' you said breathily, lowering yourself down against him.

his eyes widened as you sank down on him, your cunt achingly wet as you felt the fat head of his cock stretch you out. your lips stretched around a lustful moan, which was mottled with the sound of his own groan of pleasure.

'fuck...' he cursed, a heavy breath escaping his lips.

you felt so good—so, so good. he didn't know if he could last any longer. shame painted his features as he began to worry about coming in you—imagine that. coryo would never let him live it down.

you let your cunt sink fully around him, feeling his tip poking against your cervix as he filled you to the hilt. he cursed himself for not having done this sooner—he hadn't expected it to feel so amazing, the way you clenched around him, how wet you were. you began to slide up and down, your cunt so slick with want that the sound of it squelching against his cock could be heard even by coryo.

the two of you were panting by this point, sweat clinging to your foreheads, your tendrils of hair sticking to the back of your perspiring neck. you didn't care though, he felt so deliciously good, you were pleasantly full. the veins brushed slightly against your walls, causing your head to loll back a little at the sensation.

'so big,' you panted as sejanus gave his hips an experimental thrust.

when he saw how your eyes rolled back, he moved again, this time with more vigour. your clit was throbbing, but as sejanus continued to buck into you, you lost the want to rub slow circles around it, instead feeling his girthy cock hitting that sensitive spot inside of you.

'i-' sejanus struggled through his words, eyes fluttering shut in exasperation. 'so fucking good, don't know if i can-'

you silenced him with your lips, pressing a hot kiss against his mouth and letting your tongue slide between his wet lips. he moaned into your mouth as you clenched around him again, feeling the beginnings of your own release begin to pool in your cunt.

the pit of your stomach was a tight coil, hot and slowly beginning to unravel with every rut of his hips. you'd never orgasmed before from penetration alone, and certainly never with a virgin. you were slightly shocked at how good his cock was filling you out, the girth more than making up for his average length.

'oh god, sejanus!' you cried out, watching coryo grunt with disbelief. to him, it looked as if you were putting on a show. both you and sejanus knew that it was far from the truth—your legs were trembling as you came closer and closer to your peak.

sejanus felt a rush of confidence mixed with adrenaline and pressed kisses against your neck, lips trailing down to your jugular. he sucked hotly at the skin, teeth dragging along them. you moaned at the tension, and soon enough felt yourself come undone.

wetness gushed from your cunt, coating his cock in a delicious slick that only drove him further over the edge. the way you were clenching was maddening, he looked down for a second to see a milky ring at the base of him, your own want clear on his shaft. he could hardly believe that he'd made you come on his first attempt. perhaps coryo wasn't as good as he thought.

'sej,' you huffed, continuing to ride his cock, edging him towards his own pleasure.

sejanus groaned, hands wrapping around your waist as he thrust his hips into your tight, wet cunt. your head swum from the heat and your body began to tingle from overstimulation, but you continued to let his cock press at your cervix, enjoying how well he was doing. he'd certainly performed better than coriolanus, who finished in thirty seconds when you'd taken his virginity.

'gonna...' he caught his breath, balls tightening for release. 'gonna cum.'

he rose his brows in askance, and you gave a heady nod, delighting at the thought of him filling you up. he was sent over the edge when you clenched around him for a final time, groaning as hot cum spurted into your cunt. it was so sticky, and you continued to sink up and down on his shaft, watching as his own cum trickled back down over his cock.

it was messy, shamefully so, but you couldn't help but giggle at the sensation of his cum slipping out of your cunt. sejanus was in overdrive, and a few whimpers escaped his lips, causing you to grin impishly.

'i hope you liked your present, sejanus,' you murmured against his lips, sliding gently off his cock.

he nodded dumbly, cock beginning to go flacid. there was so much mess on his uniform, but you couldn't help but smirk—everybody would know that he'd finally gotten some play.

'and coryo,' you called out him—he was glowering at you with jealousy as you cleaned yourself up. 'sejanus is better than you ever were.'

237 notes · View notes

syoish-aot · 8 months ago

Text

"I Found You (too)" - EREN/READER - REINCARNATION AU (chapter 6)

eren/reader

Rating: M

2020s reincarnation of marleyan nurse reader & undercover eren

4k words

also on Ao3

<- chapter 5

*A Warm Living Room*

Jean resented the word “babysitting”.

Connie said: “I mean that’s basically what it is though, right?”

And Sasha- well… actually Sasha didn’t really say much of anything. Her face was too full of french fries when Eren asked them to do it.

Regardless of their feelings on the matter, after Eren called them to cash in a favor they all end up there:

Alone. In your apartment. With only you because Eren was running out of excuses to give his boss and he was going to get his ass fired if he called in sick one more time.

“Don’t stress too much about it,” Armin had told him on the phone the night before. “If anything, getting back into your old routine might help her remember things.”

“Yeah but… I still feel weird leaving her alone. What if something happens?”

There was a muffled sound from the other side of the phone before Armin was back: “Jean said he could come over and keep an eye on her.”

Eren could barely make out Jean’s defiant: “I DID NOT!” from the other end of the phone.

“Oh, and he just told me Connie and Sasha could help too!” Armin added.

Jean awkwardly rubbed the back of his head. “I feel like a phone call would have worked fine…” he mumbled. Jean knew you were his friend, a version of you anyway, but that version was tucked away in your subconscious with the current version leaving a lot to be desired.

Especially with how you were staring at him.

“What?” Jean’s glare caused you to jump before looking back to your lap.

‘Good riddance,’ he thought as a proud smirk spread across his face.

“Play nice,” Sasha ordered, slapping him on the back of the head as she crawled over the back of the couch to join the two of you in the living room. “Soooooo…” she started.“What do you like to do for fun?”

“I like to read,” you answered.

Connie snorted. “Fuckin’ nerd,” he mumbled.

Your head tilted curiously to the side as you looked at him. Obvious confusion was plastered across your face.

Connie was only half paying attention to what was going on, slumped in the loveseat and more absorbed in his phone game than anything. At least, until he realized what he had said and his eyebrows rose. He immediately sat up straight, his phone falling to his lap. “Sorry! Normally you’d- uh call me a dumbass back or- um-...”

Your eyebrows tightened together. “Mr. Kruger said we were friends.”

“We are friends.”

“But… I’m mean to you?”

“That’s-... oh boy…” Connie sighed. “You really are different.”

You scowled into your lap. “...everyone keeps saying that…”

“ ‘s not a bad thing that you’re normally different,” Jean mumbled. “The old you seems kinda...” he vaguely waved his hand as if you were supposed to know what he was saying.

And you supposed you did: “Marleyan?” you finished for him.

“Woah there!” Sasha quickly jumped in. “You being Marleyan doesn’t have anything to do with it! My fiancé is Marleyan and I’m Eldian or at least- we used to be. Technically Marley and Eldia don’t really exist here but-”

“You’re engaged to a Marleyan!?” you exclaimed, eyes widening in surprise.

“Uh-... yeah,” Sasha answered, “have been for a while. We’re doing that whole ‘long-term engagement’ thing.”

“And you tell people that?”

“I mean I do,” Sasha said. “Nico’s kinda embarrassed about the fact that the economy is in shambles and it’ll be a while before we can afford a wed-”

“No not about that!” you interrupted, “about… about you being in love!”

“Huh?” Sasha seemed confused. “Oh- yeah! Yeah, we tell everyone.”

“It’s kinda gross, actually,” Connie said.

“You’re just jealous,” Sasha stuck out her tongue.

“Ew gross! If anything I feel sorry for Niccolo having to kiss your burger breath all the time.”

“Hmm… bold of you to assume he doesn’t have a food kink.”

Connie threw his head back with a loud laugh. “Oh my god he totally has a food kink!” he clutched his stomach through his laughter, almost falling out of his chair as he did so. “Sash, you're nasty! Is he into that feeder thing too!?”

“Even if he was I-”

“Guys please shut up,” Jean cut them off. “You’re traumatizing her.”

Connie and Sasha looked over at you. You’d gotten quiet (which would have been weird under normal circumstances, but they were starting to realize that silence was pretty typical for your old self).

“No I-” you stuttered, “sorry. I was just… thinking.”

“Thinking about what?” Sasha asked.

“I-” your cheeks flushed pink. “Wh- Where I’m from an Eldian and Marlyan can’t-... a-and even if they did they would… well…”

“We know,” Jean told you. For the first time, there was an undertone of concern in his voice. Like a part of him cared about you. Or at least some version of you.

Of course, that concern was quickly washed away as your eyes met his and he went back to scowling.

You looked back at Sasha and Connie (they were a lot nicer). “Well if you know that then maybe you also know that I-... I um…” Your cheeks turned a darker shade of pink. “I’ve never said it out loud before but-...”

You squirmed against your seat, suddenly unsure if you should keep your hands in your lap. No, the armrests! No wait next to you! No, that looked awkward!!

“I think she’s gonna hurt herself,” Connie whispered to Sasha.

“Yeah, she looks like she’s about to have an aneurism,” Sasha mumbled back just in time for you to blurt it out:

“I-I’m in love with Mr. Kruger!!”

Your cheeks burned deep crimson as you clenched your hands in your lap, tightly gripping your skirt while your shoulders trembled.

You couldn’t believe you had just admitted it! You’d said it, out loud, to someone that wasn’t him!! This place was so amazing, if you were allowed to admit that then you really, truly never wanted to leave!

Jean sighed. “Yeah everyone fucking knows that.”

Your heart leapt into your throat. “E-Even Mr. Kruger!?”

“Oh my god...” Jean rubbed his hands over his face with a loud groan. “Yes. Mr. Kruger,” he said in a mocking tone, “is very very aware that you’re hot for him.”

“A-And… how does he um-... how does he feel about… me?”

Jean groaned again as he leaned back in his chair.

You turned your attention to Sasha and Connie instead, eyes begging them for reassurance.

Instead of offering you any, they both held back their laughter:

“...this is so fucking priceless...” Connie snickered.

“...wish I had this on camera…” Sasha agreed.

You scowled as you crossed your arms over your chest. “I don’t get what’s so funny about someone having feelings for another person! No one was laughing at you when you were talking about your- your- your feeder kink fiancé!!!”

Whatever that meant (and honestly you had no idea) it must have been pretty funny because Connie started laughing so hard that he fell out of his chair. Sasha clutched her stomach yelling “My abs! My abs stop! They hurt!!” Even Jean, who seemed to hate your guts, let out a loud bark of a laugh.

You still weren’t sure what you said, but you knew their reactions.

Part of you did, anyway.

And that same part encouraged you to join in on their, strangely familiar, laughter.

So you did.

You laughed with them. You laughed with your friends over a joke you didn’t really understand.

You’d never laughed like that before.

*An Office Downtown*

Eren was pulled from his computer screen daze as Armin placed a coffee on his desk.

“You’ve been glaring at your computer all day,” his best friend pointed out.

“Sorry,” Eren sighed as he leaned back in his chair. “Just catching up on emails. Buncha bullshit piled up.”

“Then how about you actually take your lunch today and give yourself a break?” Armin asked. Eren was notorious for getting sucked into something and forgetting to eat, which is why he’d spent the entire morning in complete silence glued to his computer. Thankfully, working at the same company as his best friend meant that he normally had someone looking out for him.

Eren glanced back at his monitor and a half-written email stared back at him. Then he looked down at the coffee Armin had brought over.

He reached for it. “A break sounds good.”

They ended up circling the small park next to their office building, enjoying the sunshine while it lasted before sitting down by the fountain in the middle of the park where they usually ate lunch together (on the days Eren remembered to do so, of course).

It didn’t take Armin long to get to the elephant in the room:

“Still no luck getting her to remember?” he asked.

Eren sighed, knowing that this question was coming. “Nothing,” he answered, immediately running his fingers through his hair. “It’s been a week and she hasn’t remembered a single thing. What if she never does? What do we do if she’s just stuck like this and-”

“Eren, don’t worry about it,” Armin cut him off, “sometimes it takes a little longer.”

“But a full week?”

“Yeah. That’s not unheard of,” Armin shrugged.

Eren let out a short sigh as he picked at the lid of his empty coffee cup. The past week had been… rough, to say the least.

He’d kept trying to maintain an air of normalcy, but that was growing increasingly more difficult every time you looked up at him in wide-eyed amazement over something in the modern world, or smiled at him like he’d hung the fucking moon, or every single time you called him Mr. Kruger.

It was never Eren.

Always Mr. Kruger.

And every time you said it, it felt like a punch in the gut.

“Eren?” Armin asked, sensing his best friend’s apprehension.

“I just-” Eren dropped his hands with a sign. “I just miss her so fucking much,” he said, “she’s right next to me but it’s not her and I-...” he drifted off, unsure how to finish the sentence.

“I know, Eren. We all get it. It’s hard waiting for things to go back to the way they were.”

Eren scoffed. “It’s not going to though.”

“Of course it will.”

Eren didn’t reply. Instead, he stared down at his coffee cup and ran his thumb against the light brown stain on the white lid.

“This is how it always happens,” Armin said. “Every time someone wakes up it’s hard for a few days, but once their minds catch up with them things have a way of working out.”

“‘Working out’ and going ‘back to the way it was’ are two different things,” Eren pointed out.

“I-- yeah,” Armin sighed, “you’re right, but sometimes ‘working out’ is better. Don’t you think?”

Eren’s hold on his cup tightened, causing the thin paper to crinkle as the lid almost popped off.

Armin continued: “Remembering everything that happened back then made all of us cherish this life so much more. All the bad stuff from the past doesn’t-”

“Don’t you dare tell me it doesn’t matter, Armin!” Eren exclaimed as the lid to his coffee popped off and fell to the pavement below them.

Armin remained silent at his friend’s outburst.

“I’m sorry but it just-- it can’t not matter,” Eren said. “Just because we’ve been given a chance to try again doesn’t mean that what we did before doesn’t count for anything!”

A silence hung over them again.

Eren stared down at his empty cup. He noted how light it felt, the way it crinkled against his hold. The way it felt to dig his nails into the white paper.

A paper cup with coffee stains.

A paper cup with three pills.The green one discreetly slipped into a pocket before anyone could notice.

Armin captured Eren’s attention with the soft calling of his name:

“Eren?”

Eren was scared to look up, so he didn't.

“Who was she?” Armin asked.

It was the question Eren had been avoiding. The same question he couldn’t answer. Not to the rest of his friends. Not to Armin.

Not to you.

“Whatever happened to the two of you in your first lives,” Armin told him, “no matter how- no matter how terrible it was, this is our chance to try again. Everyone who’s woken up understands that.” Armin reached out to place his hand on Eren’s, giving it a soft squeeze. “...and she will too.”

Eren pulled away. He tossed the coffee cup into the trash can and shoved his hands into his pockets.

He didn't want Armin to feel the way they trembled.

The way they shook.

The way his fingers twitched with nervous hesitation as Armin’s words repeated in his head.

But more importantly, he didn't want to look at them for himself.

At his hands.

Eren wanted to cut them clean off, even now that he couldn’t regenerate. Especially now that he couldn’t regenerate.

He wanted to cut them off and make them pay for their crimes.

*A Warm Living Room*

Pandemonium had broken out in the time Eren had been gone, and that fact became immediately obvious as he stepped back into his apartment.

“Connie if you don't fucking back me up here I'm going to chop your balls off in your sleep!!!”

“Fuck you, Jean! What do you want me to do!? It's completely chance!”

“It is not chance!! It depends on when you push the button!”

“NO IT DOES FUCKING NOT!!”

“Okay then push it now! Push it right fucking now I dare you! You won't do it because it's not completely cha-”

“Oh look I won!” The third voice wasn't Connie, Jean, or even Sasha.

The third voice was you.

Everyone burst out into excited screams:

“HOLY SHIT!!! HOW DID THAT JUST HAPPEN!!” Sasha exclaimed.

“IT'S NOT CHANCE I TOLD YOU IT'S NOT FUCKING CHANCE!!!” Jean shouted, immediately followed by Connie’s loud:

“FUCK MY ASS OFF DUDE HOW ARE YOU STILL THE MARIO PARTY CHAMPION!?!?”

Eren tucked his shoes into the closet and Bitcoin stumbled out of the living room. He hobbled over to his dad and rubbed against Eren's leg before he began loudly meowing for his dinner. Eren leaned down to pick him up and walked into the living room, towards the commotion.

“Guys we have neighbours you know,” he sighed, “can you please keep it down?”

Everyone looked over at him as he entered the room.

Jean and Sasha were on the couch as Connie took up the loveseat. Despite how there was more than enough room for you to sit on the couch too, you were in front of the coffee table, much too close to the TV for it to be doing anything good to your eyes.

You clutched your GameCube controller in one hand as you smiled at him. “Look Mr. Kruger, I won!” You told him, pointing at the TV where Princess Daisy stood in front of the flashing lights and banner that declared:

You are the DREAM STAR!!

Apparently god given Mario Party 5 skills trumped even reincarnation.

Who knew?

Eren chuckled with a smile. “Good job ba-” he stopped himself before the pet name came out. “Good uh-” he cleared his throat, “good job.”

You smiled.

His stomach flipped, just like it always did.

*A Cozy Bedroom*

“Connie and Sasha told me something,” you told Mr. Kruger that night as you crawled into bed.

Mr. Kruger always came to make sure you were all set before falling asleep. He’d turn the lights off for you, check that the cats were comfortable (although the old brown one was the only one that would actually stay in the bedroom overnight) and then he’d tell you goodnight before leaving.

It was the exact opposite of the real world, but given the way everything else in this somewhere nice was the opposite, you figured it made sense.

“What did they tell you?” Mr. Kruger asked, placing a glass of water on your bedside table, just like he did every night.

“They said um-...” You looked down at your hands, curling the blanket in your lap against your fingers. “They said that Eldians and Marleyans didn’t really exist here.”

“They don’t,” Mr. Kruger confirmed as he sat down on the end of the bed.

“Sasha also told me that she has a fiancé who’s Marleyan.”

“She does.”

Eren watched you stare down at your lap as you avoided his eyes. He noticed your cheeks turn pink in a way he’d never seen on this version of you.

The old you.

The old you had two modes, and he’d gotten familiar with them after the months he spent with you in Liberio. You were either spaced out, completely gone as your body moved in robot mode to complete whatever task needed to be done, or you were fake.

Smiling.

Cheery.

Putting up a performance that, in the past, made his blood boil to watch.

Right now though- with your slightly flushed cheeks, the subtle smile that slowly spread across your face, and the way you eventually looked up at him- right now you looked like the version he was used to.

The version he met here. The version he fell in love with without any memory of what had happened in the past.

Who he’d been in the past.

“Is that allowed here then?” you asked, making Eren’s heart feel like it might beat right out of his chest.

Eren cleared his throat. “I--Is what allowed here?”

Your reply came out after a moment of hesitation. Softly, as if you were nervous about how he would answer: “Are an Eldian and Marleyan allowed to be together…?”

Suddenly, the two of you were in dangerous territory.

Suddenly the same feeling of impending doom washed over Eren, just like it had when Armin asked: ‘who was she?’

It was all he could see. It was all he could feel-

The grinding of stone. Fire. Screaming. The roar of his titan. The zipping of lines. And a body lifeless against the battered streets.

At some point, he’d sat down on the bed.

At some point, you’d leaned closer.

At some point, you’d looked back down at your lap. Down at your hands before you took a short breath.

Before your hand slid across the covers and hesitated, just a fraction of a centimetre from his.

It was all so familiar but so different at the same time.

The way you paused. The way the bed dipped between the two of you. The way Eren could feel the warmth radiating from your fingers, even though they weren’t touching his.

But the sheets below you were dark green, not white, and the walls were covered in framed photos, not completely bare.

So it was different, and he tried so hard to focus on how it was different but---

But it all felt so familiar.

So familiar that he got lost in it for a moment. So familiar that when your hand finally moved closer to his, brushing so gently against his pinky finger- Eren jumped.

“Is…” you whispered, “...is this allowed?”

Your finger brushed against his, just your finger, so hesitantly that you could easily have pretended it hadn't happened if you wanted to.

But Eren didn’t want to pretend it hadn’t happened. The moment you touched him finally actually touched him, lit a fire in the pit of his stomach as his heart pounded.

“It’s-- It’s allowed…” he slowly answered, so softly that if there had been any other noise in the room at all you might have missed it.

His finger hooked against yours, body moving completely on its own as if it was instinct.

And it was.

At this point, it was instinct.

Eren could hear his heart beating in his ears at the simple sensation of your finger pressed against his. He’d touched you so many times (you’d been dating for six years, so obviously he had) but it had never felt like this.

It had never felt so intense…

He didn't know at what point your fingers had curled together.

He had no idea how long it took until he looked over at you.

And he surely couldn't recall when you'd looked back at him, but all of a sudden you had.

All of a sudden the two of you were sitting there in that bed with that wall and your hand in his.

And it was just like Liberio.

“Don't go tonight,” he'd said as his fingers curled, for the first time, around yours. You were touching him. Not to change a bandage, or give him his medicine, or check his heart rate. You were touching him all on your own for the first time.

“Why wouldn't I go to the festival?” You laughed with a smile. A smile so wide and genuine that Eren wanted to bottle it up and keep it forever. “It sounds fun.”

“Please,” Eren begged. Before he could stop himself, he'd lifted his hand to cup your cheek.

He was touching you. He was touching you and not because you were changing his shirt, or passing him a tart, or helping him hobble across his hospital room. He was touching you all on his own.

His thumb brushed against your cheek. Your warm cheek, as the image of your bloody body, discarded against the cobblestone, flashed through his mind.

No. No no no no no please no.

“Mr. Kruger I-”

You were just as close right now as you had been then. Looking up at him with the same eyes, the warmth of your palm against him in the same way.

Except it wasn't the same, right? It was different now.

He was different now. He was Eren, not Mr. Kruger.

In a different life under different circumstances with a different path in front of him.

You were safe here, finally, where there wasn’t fire or rubble or cobblestone. Here, where nothing bad could happen to you.

Eren's hand cupped your cheek and the two of you moved closer. It was warmer here. It was better.

He was better. He was Eren, not Mr. Kruger.

“Is… Is this allowed...” your breath ghosted across his lips as you asked it again.

Eren's eyes slid closed as he nodded. He leaned in, craving your kiss so badly that it almost hur-

“...Mr. Kruger?”

Until you finished your sentence and Eren’s world completely shattered.

Mr. Kruger.

Right.

That’s who he was to you right now. He wasn’t Eren, he was Mr. Kruger.

“She’ll do it.” “Oh good, your dog can do more than just fetch.”

“She's distracting you, Eren.” “No, she's not.”

“Then kill her.”

Eren’s palms grew damp with nervous sweat. His stomach turned. His heartbeat rang in his ears, this time for a different reason entirely.

Mr. Kruger Mr. Kruger Mr. Kruger

That’s who he was to you.

Mr. Kruger

Eren pulled away from you, trying not to watch your heartbroken expression as he pushed out of bed. “H-Have a good night,” he stuttered before he left the room.

He didn’t turn back to look at you. He couldn’t.

He was worried that if he did, all he’d see would be-

Fire and screaming. The roar of his titan. The zipping of lines. And a body- your body -lifeless against the battered streets.

Eren didn’t want to look back because if he did, he’d remember who he was to you.

Mr. Kruger

The man who had manipulated you into loving him.

*Libero* 854

“Good morning Mr. Kruger!” Three days into his undercover mission and it had quickly become one of his least favourite sounds.

Eren groaned as he sat up.

Headache. Pills. Wate-

“I snuck you an extra apple,” you told him with a wide smile, holding up the crisp red fruit just for him. He wanted to deny it and tell you he didn’t need your pity, but his rumbling stomach betrayed him and he reached for the apple anyway.

You laughed. “Don’t tell anyone or they’ll accuse me of picking favourites.”

Juice dribbled down his chin as he bit into the apple.

He looked over at you as he chewed.

It was a good apple.

Crisp. Fresh. Sweet.

It was a good apple.

And the way your eyes light up- with so much hope and joy, like a dog waiting to be praised- it was-

It was pathetic.

Pathetic how eager you were to please.

…he could use that…

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