#(at least Leia had someone who loves her as much as Breha and Bail. out there. still alive. looking for her. loving her.)

[kalevalakryze]

Yhe'na Det Och'sa

Chapter 2: Det Bahko

Characters: Shin Hati, Ahsoka Tano, Professor Huyang, Bail Organa, Leia Organa, Breha Organa, L0-LA59 | Lola, Kaeden Larte Relationships: Ahsoka Tano & Shin Hati, Ahsoka Tano & Bail Organa, Bail Organa & Leia Organa, Shin Hati & Leia Organa, Mentioned Ahsoka Tano/Kaeden Larte, Bail Organa/Breha Organa Word Count: 6,110 AO3 Link: Here! Chapter One

As always, special thanks to the people who keep this AU alive, we wouldn't be here without them and their big brains, mwah: @somewillwin , @cmbdragon98 , @mandalorianfleshenjoyer

The route to Alderaan would be long, several days at least to get past all of the jumps that Fulcrum would need to make to ensure safe, Imperial-Free travel. 

It wasn’t long before the excitement of hyper-space travel wore off and the small child they’d brought on had started to nod, however, forehead pressing into the safety straps around their shoulders as silvery eyes began to droop. 

“Alright, tazi unt, let’s get you to bed,” Ahsoka called quietly as she finally rose from her seat. Both Shin and Huyang blinked up at her. 

“Lady Tano, it will be mid-day when we reach Alderaan,” Huyang warned, turning his head to watch as Ahsoka started to undo the buckles securing Shin in place. 

“And that’s a long way away, right now,” Shin scorched off the seat as soon as she was free, rubbing at their eyes with the heel of her hand and leaning into the hand that Ahsoka set on her shoulder. “Come on,” 

The crew quarters were small; Ahsoka had never had any reason to need more than one bunk, her training area, and Huyang’s area. “It’s not much,” She started, suddenly sheepish as Shin looked around the room. “But it’s home,” 

Shin’s lips seemed to twitch at this as Ahsoka leaned against the doorframe of the almost broom closet-esque space. “I have to go make a call, but Huyang and I will be right outside, okay?” 

Her hand ruffled through choppy, uneven hair as Shin nodded, smiling warmly at the way they leaned into her touch. Fingers brushing against their forehead, Ahsoka took pause at the warmth. Though… it had been some time since she’d touched a human not out of the need for survival, she couldn’t remember how warm they were supposed to run. “Get comfy, I’ll pop back in and check on you soon?” 

Ahsoka only left once she saw Shin shuffle towards the small bunk, the door sliding shut behind her as she stepped into the main cabin of the shuttle, rising the table from the floor and getting her comms set up to talk to Bail. 

It didn’t take long for the holo projection of Bail to spring to life in the middle of the room, though a laugh was barely concealed by the Rebel at the sight of him. Hanging off his arm was his and Breha’s daughter, Leia, giggling as she clung to her father’s arm with a little droid hovering by his shoulder, chirping the young princess on. “Good morning Bail, and Leia,” she greeted, folding her hands nearly behind her back as she regarded father and daughter. 

“Yes yes, hello Ahsoka!” The smile on his face was tired, though his eyes crinkled in the corners with only the love a father could have for their child as he swung the girl into both of his arms and getting a pout from her. “Say hello, Leia,”

Pouting at being pulled from her human pull-up bar, Leia was quick to perk up again upon seeing Ahsoka. “Aunt ‘soka! Are you coming to visit?!” She squirmed in Bail’s hold until he let her down, crowding the holo-projector with a view of her face close up. 

Laughing freely now, Ahsoka nodded; there was always a relief when it came to communicating with Bail and his family, a small moment of herself long forgotten that was allowed to resurface; too much like spending time with Anakin and Padmé. “I am, in fact. And I’m bringing a friend, that I need to talk to your father about, think you can do me a top secret favor?” Leia was still in the dark about the rebellion, for her safety, but she’d never know Ahsoka as a Jedi, or even as someone who knew her birth parents, and that was for the better, to keep her away from the force and do what she could to crowd the child’s latent abilities. 

“I need you to find this part for me, there’s this droid I’m workin’ on-“ 

“I’m on it! Is it the one you were working on last time?” 

“It was, thank you for remembering,” 

Leia shot off without another word, letting Bail back into view as he shook his head. “The energy that girl has in her,”

“So much like her father,”

Bail’s smile faltered. “Ana-“ 

“No, Bail, like you.” 

The senator took pause as a small smile pulled at his lips, head craning to look at the door Leia had previously retreated through. “What can I help you with, Fulcrum?” 

“I found a kid,” The Alderaniaan’s eyebrow rose sharply, though before he could question, Ahsoka raised her hand to continue. “On Ibaar, she… didn’t have anyone,” The Rebel’s arms crossed over her chest, facial markings twisting as she looked away for a brief moment to recome herself.

“And she’s like you,”

“Yeah, is Kaeden still on Alderaan?” 

“Yes, I’ll postpone her deployment, I suppose you’ll need her to check her out?” 

“Yeah, she’s young, underweight, and I’m certain she’s been living off of trash for too long to be well, much less get any of the vaccines that would help her in space,” 

As if on cue, a soft, wheezing cough rang through her montrals, turning Ahsoka’s head in worry. “We’ll be there by mid-day, could you see if she would be ready?”

“It will be done,”

“Thank you, Senator Organa,” 

Instead of correcting her once more, Bail simply shook his head and smiled before the blue hologram flickered away. 

Spinning on her heel, Ahsoka turned back to the small bunk room, eyes scanning the bunk… that was still neatly made. Panicked, her eyes flitted about the room, to the top bunk she’d used as storage, and finally, to the floor. 

“Shin?” She called quietly, watching as the young human shrunk down under their cloak. “Tazi unt?” She called again, watching her press their feverish forehead into the cool steel of the bunk’s base, searching for relief from the heat while curling closer to find liberation from the cold. “Did you fall off the bed?” 

When no response came, the Togruta turned to the expert. “Huyang!” Ahsoka hissed through the open doorway, frowning at the quiet sound of discomfort from her small human at the sound. “Humans shouldn’t run this warm, right?” She questioned, making room for the droid to join her. 

“Not typically, no. You will need to help her cool off,” Mechanics clinked and whirred as his head moved to study the shivering child. “She will not like it.” He warned with a shudder, no doubt reminiscent of his own rare occasions when a sick initiate would undoubtedly find him before their Master. 

Frowning, Ahsoka reached over to gather Shin up in her arms, which did well for waking her up, at least, “Good morning, suun ghe.” She greeted, taking mind to keep her voice low as their head drooped into her shoulder. “How do you feel?” 

“Cold,” They rasped out, tucking closer to safety Ahsoka walked them to the ‘fresher, perching the small human on the edge of the sink as she moved for the drawer with a cool pack in it, as well as some face wipes to clear off the rapidly drying sweat on their brow. 

Huyang followed the two force-sensitive sentients, helping Ahsoka go through the different items in the med-kit as she returned to her youngling. “This is going to be cold, I’m sorry,” The cold pack was activated and chilled in quick order, wrapping a small hand towel around it, Ahsoka pressed it into their head and frowned as they tried to pull away. 

There was a time, once, when she remembered the clones doing the same for her; She’d been older than Shin, then, had known how to use the force to burn off her sickness, and yet, when Fives and Jesse had found her overheating, the five-oh-first hadn’t missed a beat in helping her out, even if Togrutan Biology was something none of them could understand. 

She remembered a call for Kix, that led to a call with Coric, which included Master Obi-Wan, and while she hadn’t been conscious enough to remember what was said, she recalled enough of how they helped her center enough until she could burn it off. “Huyang, could you start a pot of water to boil for tea? One of the golden packets, and could you grab one of the ice pops from Coruscant too, please?”

Turning from his task in finding a human-safe relief aid, Huyang stared up at her, then back at the fevering child leaning back against the mirror to avoid the cold. “Of course, Lady Tano,” Which… honestly, was the easiest the old droid had ever taken instruction from her, when it wasn’t something to do with the old Jedi Order. “Ad’ika-”

“What do those mean?” Their attention was focused more on the strange names she’d been addressed as, over the sickness burning in her system and the torture of the cold-pack on their head. 

“How about this,” Ahsoka pulled the back away, relief clear as day when Shin leaned back in, even going so far as to reach out and brush her fingertips against Ahsoka’s bicep, almost asking her to stay, even as the woman held herself directly in front of the human as the droid clanked out of the room. “I’ll tell you what each one means if you let me help you get cleaned up and cooled down?” She held up the pack again and watched as their eyes flickered to it like it was an enemy. “I promise it won’t be too bad, I won’t hurt you, Shin, never.” 

Tentatively, the child nodded their head, watching in trepidation as Ahsoka retrieved a face wipe from the small package and began wiping sweat away from clammy skin. The wipes were cool, but not nearly enough to keep their temperature down. 

“Tazi unt, it’s Togruti, my people speak it on Shili and some of the other planets we’ve migrated to, but it’s generally safe to use as most humans have not bothered to learn it - it means little one.” Ahsoka explained to a half-attentive human, wondering herself if they would, like her, ever remember any of the words leaving her mouth, or if they would fade away to the back of her memory. 

“Suun ghe means sunshine,” Their nose crinkled at that, and Ahsoka half chuckled as she ran the cool wipe over the bridge of their nose. “You have a problem with that, young one?” 

“Never liked the sun, much,” They admitted with a boneless shrug, finally leaning into the relief that the cool cloth offered as their temperature changed. 

“Mm. Perhaps Daaark grut.” They perked at the words, even if they couldn’t understand them. “It means moon hunter… it feels… fitting,” 

“Mhmm,” Came a tired agreement as Ahsoka finished wiping off her face and neck. 

“Come on, do you want me to carry you again?” 

Shin paused, now that they were partially through the brain fog and being given a choice… she wasn’t sure what to pick. No one had ever carried her before, much less touched her like Ahsoka had, or as often… The nod of their head was eager, one that Ahsoka hadn’t missed as she stepped in to gather Shin up in her arms, letting their legs wrap around her waist as their head pillowed against her lek. “Hold onto that ice pack for me, please?” One bony hand clutched the pack to their chest while the other hesitantly reached out to touch Ahsoka’s other lek; they were soft and leathery, not entirely unpleasant. 

Waiting for them in the main cabin, Huyang was sitting with a holonovel open in front of him, a book specifically on human sicknesses. In a cup at his side, a bright purple ice-pop sat, faintly glowing in its container as the time worked its magic in softening the treat. 

Shin was set carefully on the edge of the bench, where they proceeded to scoot in until their shoulder was jumping against the cool metal of Huyang’s arm. “Have you ever had one of these before?” Ahsoka questioned, nudging the cup closer to the child who shook their head. “It’s gonna be really cold, and really sweet, but it’ll help your fever go down some. Just grab it by that stick and lick it,”

“Some also bite it,” Huyang interjected, only half listening as his eyes scanned his old records. 

“Huyang, we are not raising a monster.” The smile on her face said she didn’t truly care how Shin ate the cold treat, so the child decided to try both.

The first lick was freezing, and the ice-pop was dropped back into the cup as their hand covered their mouth. “That’s cold!” They shouted, voice hoarse as she backed away from the table, almost hiding behind Huyang’s arm from the offending treat. 

Stifling her laughter behind her hand, Ahsoka shook her head. “Give it a moment,” She promised, watching as the human started to recognize the taste of sugary sweetness, something that called to all kids, even if they’d been so deeply deprived of it for so long. 

 It took a minute before they slowly poked back from the droid’s arm, eyeing Ahsoka warily as they picked it back up. A gentle finger was brought to their forehead, testing the heat that still simmered under pale skin. She wasn’t as hot as when Ahsoka woke her up before, but she definitely still needed more than they could offer. “Sorry,” She apologized quietly for interrupting, watching warmly as the child licked and ate the ice-pop experimentally. 

“We will need to pick up supplies from Senator Organa for a human. We’ve managed to store safe medicines for Rodians, Nautolans, Brylls, Gungans, Umbarans, Twi’leks, and Togrutas, yet we have nothing safe for humans, especially ones as small as the youngling.” Huyang informed as he went down his list. 

“Can you add it to the list of supplies for our redeployment?” Ahsoka was standing, stepping back to the bathroom to grab the face wipes again as Huyang listed off all of the items on the list, taking care to list off new items for their addition. 

When she came back, Shin was a mess of sticky purple sugar and sweetness. “Look here,” She called, taking a wipe to clean off the stickiness before it could get too bad. “Feeling any better?” 

“Mhmm, thank you.” They were drooping again, slowly dozing as Ahsoka helped clean them up again, small frame leaning into the sturdy metal of Huyang as he continued reading as if a feverish human wasn’t using him as a pillar of support. 

“Come on, let’s get you back to bed, for real this time,” This time, Shin scooted readily to the edge of the bench, reaching out before Ahsoka was even turned around to pick them back up. “Did you fall off the bunk earlier?” She questioned as she gathered them back up, finding a comfortable spot on her hip for the small human 

“I’ve never..” They trailed off as the hydraulics on the door hissed open, staring warily at the enclosed space on the bunk. Every now and then, the straw from the very few farmers on Ibaar was thrown out, and she’d been able to stuff enough in her poncho on the way past the refuse bins on her way back to what counted as home in the maintenance tunnels; it was the softest thing she’d ever been able to sleep on. 

“Well, the bunk is a lot more comfortable than the floor,” Ahsoka sat on the edge of the cot, keeping Shin in her lap as she leaned to dig under the pillows. The little tooka toy was hand-stitched, a long project led by Rex and Cody when she’d first become Anakin’s Padawan, and the utmost horror from her men when they’d learned Jedi didn’t really have possessions. “This is scratcher. My Ori’vode - big brothers, gave him to me when I was just a little older than you are now. He helped me through some really tough times during the war, kept me safe when it felt like there was no one else who could.” The fabric was still soft as when it had been made, though the child took pause.

With the touch of fabric came the sound of ghosts in the back of her mind, barking laughter calling for ‘snips’, warm hugs against cold plastoid, hundreds of identical faces that they knew were different, and the weight of the paid beneath it all. 

When their vision cleared, Ahsoka was looking at them in wonder. “We’ll work on it, when you’re feeling better.” She promised, already seeing the questions forming on the tip of their tongue. “For now, you need some rest before we land.” 

Getting Shin to lay back on the bunk with her was more difficult than it should have been, as they tried to adjust to the thin strip of padding beneath them. Ahsoka let them stay closer to the door, knowing Huyang would be up if something happened that she miraculously could not hear, not wanting to crowd them, but not wanting to be too far away, since their hand still had yet to leave her lekku. 

Eventually, the shuffling stilled, too tired to continue fighting for comfort, the small child managed a position they could sleep in, dangerously close to the edge of the bed, with Scratcher tucked awkwardly into their stomach as sickness goaded them back to sleep at last.

When Ahsoka woke, it wasn’t to the ship rumbling in an attack, Imperial forces boarding, or even her comms going off, it was to lazy alarm bells, muffled by the grogginess of sleep and the safety in the force. There was a warm body curled up against her chest, small fingers wrapped loosely around her lek, breathing slow and heavy against her neck.

Predatory instincts began to awaken as consciousness ebbed to the forefront of her mind, eyes blinking open quickly and narrowing at the small form pressed into her. Carefully, Ahsoka’s arms shifted from where they were stuffed under the pillows, one arm wrapping carefully around Shin as her other arm moved to gently pry their hand from her lek, soreness accompanying the sensitive organ. 

The small human groaned thickly at the movement as Ahsoka attempted to extricate herself from them. By the time Ahsoka managed to clear herself entirely, the mattress was going cold, leaving Shin attempting to curl into the arm still wrapped around her for warmth. 

The hydraulics on the door hissed open quietly, filling the dim room with light and the sounds of Huyang clattering at a counter. “ ‘soka?” Their voice was deep and groggy, congestion clogging their chest and throat in a way that had them sniffling painfully. “Not feeling much better, tazi unt?” She tried to keep her voice comfortably low as the girl shook her head. “Alright, come on, let's head to the ‘fresher and get cleaned up, yeah? Should make it to Alderaan soon,” 

Cleaning up a sick kid was not as easy as the cheesy holomovies made it seem when Shin kept running from anything their small, overheating body deemed too cold, which was… everything, unfortunately. Really, she had no clue how the old créche masters would deal with entire groups of younglings who could act in such a manner. 

At least the accidental exercise chasing them around the ‘fresher was enough to tucker the kid out by the time Huyang pulled the T-6 into the shipyard. Anxiety buzzed in the air from the child who had never set foot on another planet. When Ahsoka offered a hand as the ramp descended, clammy hands were quick to secure around her own, and their small frame tucked easily into her side, using the many folds of her poncho to gain coverage from the bright late morning sunlight that flooded in.

Waiting for them on the platform stood Bail, Breha, and C3PO. “Where’s trouble?” Ahsoka questioned as she guided Shin from the ship, Huyang following just a beat behind them. 

“You know Leia,” Bail shook his head as Jedi and Apprentice came to the bottom of the ramp. “So this is your new addition,” The corners of his eyes crinkled warmly as he caught the scruffy brunette peering over his shoulder. “Ahsoka says you weren’t feeling well,” He was slow in lowering himself to one knee, closer to Shin’s level, as Breha’s hand moved to rest on his shoulder. “I’m Bail, this is my wife, Breha… We can help you,” 

When his hand extended towards them, Shin ducked closer into Ahsoka. Instead of reacting in offense, he allowed his hand to drop. “Ahsoka has a friend inside who can help more than we can, but she’s been ignoring her comms,” His eyes flickered to the Togruta, whose boot scuffed the alloyed metal of the landing pad sheepishly. “Think she may need your help to go see her,”

Peeking out at Bail, then up at Ahsoka’s diffident expression, Shin nodded her head quickly. “Who is she?” 

Behind her, Ahsoka could hear Threepio and Huayng talking ‘shop’, which… would have been preferable to coming face to face with Kaeden for the first time since Raada. “She’s a doctor, a good one at that,” He promised, rising back to his feet with a quiet grunt. 

Taking Ahsoka’s hand once more, Shin tentatively took the first step. “Hold on tight, she’s a runner,” Breha commented with a sly smirk, earning an exasperated sound from Fulcrum.

“One time,” The Togruta grumbled, allowing Shin to lead her by the hand into the buildings that touched the sky. 

The floors were not crowded in layers of dirt and grime, the lights were clear, and everyone they passed was kind to their group, even when Ahsoka pulled her hood low over her head, concealing her face from the several different security patrols they’d slipped past. 

“Hey! There’s my favorite-” The stranger's voice was warm and chirpy, though they trailed off kind of awkwardly before they could slip up and say something that would get them killed. “Transport captain!” “Smooth, Kaeden,” Ahsoka had brightened under their gaze, even if there was a feeling of nervous energy stirring in the air the closer their group came to the room she was peeking out of. Intimidation kept Shin back, pressed nervously into Ahsoka’s side, using the familiar fabric of her poncho to hide from stunning eyes as the woman scanned their group. “Shin,” Ahsoka called not unkindly as she tried to peel her personal attachment away; with all the eyes on her, the human only pressed herself closer into the one pillar of safety she’d ever had in this world, even as Ahsoka continued to actively make her part. “One moment-” It was a bit awkward, and mildly cramped, as Ahsoka dropped to a knee and pulled the poncho around both of their heads, montrals sticking comically from the top of the fabric. “Hey, are you okay?” The hand that wasn’t being used to keep the poncho up reached out, allowing two tiny hands to wrap around hers, feeling rough fingers smoothing across her knuckles, and the rapid beating of their heart that seemed loud enough to shake their tiny fort.

“ *’scared,”* They admitted woefully, tips of their fingers pressing into the indents in Ahsoka’s hands. 

“I bet,” Ahsoka shifted to take some of the pressure from the hard floor off her knees. “But that woman out there, Kaeden? If there’s one person in the medical field I trust, it’s her;” Sure, Kaeden was still very new in her practice, and no where near on Coric or Kix’s levels, but she was a friend. And those were about as rare as a Jedi, these days. 

“And I’ll be here every step of the way, we’ll do it scared, together,” Shin ducked into her chest, appreciative of the support, and the strength that Ahsoka was giving them in such a wildly drastic environment to what they knew. “They’re waiting for us-” Someone out side of their fort coughed at that, allowing Ahsoka to exaggeratedly roll her eyes. “Shouldn’t keep them waiting-” Shin’s shoulders squared and chin raised, meeting the group of new faces head on- Ahsoka’s heart warmed at the display of strength; When Kaeden had stepped aside to allow Master and Apprentice into the room, it was Shin who’d taken Ahsoka’s hand and led her in. “Kriff, you’d think this was *my* appointment,” “Not off the table, Tano. You’re not looking so hot either-” Kaeden teased, bidding farewell to the senator as the door slid shut behind them. “Ouch, alright-” Ahsoka helped get Shin up onto the table as Kaeden moved around her. “Jedi, huh; You been taking care of her?” The woman questioned Shin playfully, only receiving a shy twitch of their lips and the bowing of her head. “Well, on behalf of everyone who cares about her, thank you. Someone needed to.” Ahsoka groaned dramatically as she slid into a seat beside the bench. 

“Larte, isn’t Bail paying you?”

“Just catching up, Tano; Jeesh!” 

A small wooden stick was tossed halfheartedly at Kaeden’s leg in response, warm laughter erupting that helped ease the tension that had been steadily rising in the room.

The appointment went about as well as Ahsoka had expected, Shin had a low-grade case of Mynock fever, was underweight, and was underdeveloped compared to others her age. Kaeden had given them everything they needed to combat this; Shin received the vaccinations they would need to continue traveling through space, taking each shot like a trooper, even if their nails did leave crescent-shaped indents in the tops of Ahsoka’s hands from squeezing so hard. 

Kaeden had even been kind enough to give Ahsoka instructions on how to take care of human hair, Shin had seemed to be learning just as much as Ahsoka was, but hey, it got her kid cleaned up properly.  They also discussed the varying diets they’d need to work on and even some idea on where to start in teaching Shin more than the ways of the Jedi. “And hey, don’t forget; you ever get over your Jedi hangups-”

Ahsoka laughed as she led Shin from the room. “I know, you’ll be my first call, promise,” Or… one of them, but definitely up there. 

“Are you feeling better?” The woman asked as Shin quietly tucked back into her side, reaching down to cover the small hand that was rubbing against the multicolored bandaids taped onto their bicep. 

“She was nice,” Shin remarked instead. As they walked, Ahsoka was able to observe the way they started to slowly acclimate, until she was walking almost a foot away from Ahsoka, knuckles dragging listlessly against walls and railing, one hand still wrapped loosely in Ahsoka’s own. “And she smelled nice… And she was really pretty. Does she love you? Do you love her?”  

Blanching, Ahsoka forced her eyes straight ahead, cheeks darkening considerably under curious eyes. “She’s dear to me, yes,” 

“You love her.” 

There was a conviction in Shin’s voice that made even Ahsoka come to terms with it. Reaching across the small gap with her hand not held in their own, the Togruta ruffled her hand through freshly cleaned hair. “Your hair is a mess, you know?” 

“Your hair doesn’t exist,” It seemed being properly cleaned, fed, and given medicine had somehow given the kid some snark, which took an unfortunate amount of control to not laugh at. 

“Yeah yeah,” Pulling Shin from the railing, a gentle tug sent the small human back into her arms. There wasn’t much light left in the galaxy, but kriff, if the kid beaming up at her was an indication at something better, she’d fight for it tooth and nail. “Hey, I think Bail mentioned Leia having some extra clothes that’ll fit, and she’s got a pretty cool droid too, wanna go check it out?” “Who’s Leia? You mentioned her earlier,” Shin swung their connected hands as they walked, peering through big glass windows every chance she got to take in the dazzling visage of the city beyond. 

“She’s Bail and Breha’s daughter, careful, I hear she’s a bit of a troublemaker-” She was interrupted by the chirping of a droid as they passed a window.

“Lola!” A small voice shouted, and a girl came running from an adjoining hall to shove her hands out of the window to the droid to perch in. “Father doesn’t like it when you spy on people,” She scolded sheepishly, though she gave herself away with the smile she beamed up at Ahsoka. 

“He doesn’t, it makes him very upset you know,” Ahsoka chided, pulling the young girl into a side hug. Leia was older than Shin by a few years, almost towering over the scrawny kid at her side as she looked to the newcomer expectantly. “Who’re you?”

Nervous eyes skittered between Ahsoka and Leia; The Togruta had to give Shin a gentle nudge to get them to introduce herself. “Shin,” They were timid; Ahsoka wasn’t sure if they’d ever had a name to introduce themselves to anyone before, or if there had been other kids on Ibaar, before her arrival. 

Leia seemed to understand, at least, looking the lanky girl up and down before turning to Ahsoka. “Mother said she may fit in some of my old stuff, can I take them with us?” Lola chirped from her shoulder, metal feet tapping excitedtly against the Princess’s shoulder as they eagerly waited.

“Does that sound okay to you, Shin?”

“... You’ll come back?” They weren’t looking at her or Leia. Alderaan was pretty, sure; but she didn’t know it like she did the streets of Ibaar, and she didn’t feel the same connection with the people they’d met here like they had with Ahsoka and Huyang.

“Hey,” Ahsoka was crouching to her level again, finger gently tapping against their chin to get their attention. “I will always come back,” It was a promise she should have made to Anakin, to fill the painful silence when she’d walked away… She wouldn’t make that mistake ever again. 

Shin had still seemed uncertain about the truth to these words; They’d been burned before, and the pretty medic had listed  lot of work that they would need to put into her to catch her up… If Ahsoka decided they weren’t worth it; 

It was Leia who’d pulled them from the spiral as Ahsoka blanched; How someone so small could dig into the vastness of the darkside so fast, so easy in a half second spiral, it had left her reeling. “Ahsoka always comes back, no matter what,” The older girl promised, squeezing the brunette’s shoulder before moving her head in the direction of an adjoining hall as Ahsoka regained her bearings. “Come on, if she tries to go anywhere without you, Lola will zap her!” 

The girls disappeared before Ahsoka had even gotten to her feet. “Do you know binary?” “No?” “...Do you want to?” 

The clothes Leia had passed off to her were itchy, silky, flowing sleeves that made her skin crawl and dangling pieces that clanked, reverberating through her ears in a way that put her on edge. “Mother doesn’t like when I do this, much;” Leia started explaining as Shin’s nose scrunched up at their reflection. “Stand still-” 

Fabric ripped under small hands, until Shin’s arms were free of the unpleasant texture. With the sleeves gone, Leia began adjusting the grey fabric so it sat better on them. “I’ve been trying to learn sewing from the handmaidens, and I think I know exactly what’s going to make this better, but we gotta be quiet, got it?” 

Leia looked at them with an intensity burning in her eyes that had Shin nodding her understanding before the words had even registered. “Okay,” They agreed, allowing the older girl to take her hand and drag her from the large ‘bedroom’ that had alone been bigger than even Drell’s cantina on Ibaar. 

Leia led her through a small series of hallways attached to the room, muttering about handmaiden’s passages and how there were some she swears hadn’t been touched since the Clone Wars, whatever that was. “Shh!” Leia was pushing Shin back uncomfortably into another hall as two sets of feet approached, coming from a nearby door. 

“We’re going to have to build the network more,” She could hear Ahsoka’s voice pour from the open door that Bail’s handmaidens had departed from. “I can’t… I won’t take her into this fight like this, you of all people should understand,”

“Fulcrum,” Bail’s voice was calm, but even Shin could pick up on the desperation in his voice. “If you’re insistent on taking the child with you, you’ll have to tell her eventually; Makers forbid something happen-”

There was a quiet groan from the material of the chair Ahsoka had been sitting in as she presumably dropping back. Shin could feel the heavy sigh in her bones. “I’ll keep her ready, but I am not deploying her into an active warzone, she isn’t even eight standard years, she’s too young for this life. Way too young.”

“Weren’t you?” 

“That’s different. I didn’t have a choice, but now, I do,”

“That should be her call to make,” 

Leia was tugging on Shin’s shoulder as they pressed closer to the cracked opening of their hiding place. What were they arguing about? Was it her? What fight? Fight the Empire? That couldn’t be done… Fight for the Empire? She’d heard of them taking kids… But Ahsoka was fighting to keep her promise, even with one of her friends? “We should go, Father gets upset when I eavesdrop,” 

Moving quietly from their step off the path, Shin followed Leia in deep thought, new boots scuffing pristine carpets and linoleum as they moved through different rooms. “This is where the Tailor keeps all the cool stuff,” Leia spoke up once they crossed into a rather empty workshop. “We really make this yours now.” The devious smile on the girl’s face only lightened Shin’s spirits as she peered across the thousands of different materials all over the room. “Let’s get started.” 

When the super-secret meeting was finished, Shin and Leia had met Bail and Ahsoka at the border of the woods. Lola was weaving through the trees, flashing multicolored lights as the girls chased her, trying to catch the droid, calling out different colors each time their fingers brushed a leg or a chipped white underbelly. “Lola! Slow down!” Shin called as she vaulted over a log, pumping their arms as the older girl used longer legs to cover the distance she’d lost. 

“Don’t do it! It’s a trap!” Leia shouted, laughter bubbling past her lips as she reached to tug on the navy fabric on Shin’s shoulder, forcing the younger girl to fall behind. Shin laughed as she recovered, allowing the droid to circle them back to the mouth of the forest. 

“Father!” Leia called as their running feet slowed. Bail and Ahsoka stood at the mouth of the trail, Ahsoka’s warm smile peeking from under her hood as Bail dropped to one knee, allowing his daughter to pounce into his arms. 

“Did you two have fun?” He questioned, reaching to pluck stray leaves and wild twigs from the girl’s braids. 

“So much! You guys are gonna come back soon, right?” 

Ahsoka spared a glance at Shin, catching the almost hopeful look on their face as the girl plucked at the smooth fabric hanging past a leather belt cinched around their middle. “I think we’ll definitely have to set a date, absolutely,” 

“Yes!” Both girls shouted at once, laughter filling the small wooded area once more as Leia jumped from Bail’s arms to wrap around Shin. 

The younger girl had faltered at the contact, though she’d sunk into it after a moment with encouragement from Lola, who’d promptly perched herself on Leia’s head. “I can’t wait!” Leia exclaimed when she’d pulled back, allowing Lola to hop over to her head with her own laugh. When they reboarded the ship, Huyang had seemed much more relaxed, mentioning something about an oil bath and Alderaanian mechanics. The handmaidens had already loaded the small container of clothes that Shin and Leia had performed their secret alterations to, leaving it sitting in a neat stack. In a smaller, messier box, she could see a wild array of pieces and a handwritten note from Leia, scrawled on a small piece of flimsi in the messiest writing she had no hope of reading. 

A large hand ruffled through the choppy mess of brown hair. “Well, Shin… This is where the fun begins,”

[antianakin]

While there is obviously a similarity to the actions (if we take the sequels as canon), there's an ENTIRELY different motivation behind the two. Or, well, there is an obvious reasonable motivation behind Obi-Wan's choice that really doesn't exist for Luke's choice to my knowledge.

It's been pretty clearly stated by people like Lucas and Mark Hamill that Luke was demonstrably NOT READY to find out about Anakin and Vader being the same person. Luke was not ready for the truth, and Obi-Wan KNOWS THAT, which is why he holds onto that information for when he believes Luke is ready to hear it without going off the handle as a result. Luke literally commits what could be considered almost a suicide when he DOES find out, and while he's in the least ideal possible situation to hear it in, it still goes to show just how unready Luke was for that revelation.

Obi-Wan clearly has some familiarity with Luke, has had enough interactions with him for Luke to connect the name and recognize Obi-Wan on sight in ANH. Obi-Wan also clearly is fully aware of what Owen and Beru have told Luke ABOUT Anakin and that it's total lies. It doesn't seem out of the realm of possibility that Obi-Wan is FULLY aware of how much Luke already idolizes Anakin, something Obi-Wan has had next to no control over as someone who respects that Owen and Beru are Luke's official guardians and he is not. He could've like... forced Luke to find out really early against Owen and Beru's desires, I guess, but that's pretty wildly out of character for Obi-Wan and I don't see what Obi-Wan would gain from it. So by the time he DOES manage an opportunity to speak to Luke about it, Luke is 19 and has had YEARS of seeing Anakin in a particular way, which means dropping the bombshell of Anakin's true identity on Luke is going to hit HARD. It does not seem unreasonable to me for Obi-Wan to keep that in consideration, especially given, ya know, what ANAKIN did when pushed emotionally, and hold back on something he knows could set Luke off in a very bad direction until he was a LOT more sure that Luke would take it WELL.

None of this would be true for Luke and Ben Solo. I'm going to go out and say here that I think the way Luke is written in the sequels is really bad and out of character to begin with, I really dislike it, and so I just generally ignore it anyway and don't consider it a part of my PERSONAL canon. But for the sake of discussion, I'll try to do a basic comparison that will be predominantly based on my memories of the sequel films (I have consumed exactly no other sequels media and only know it through other people's posts).

Ben Solo would NOT have grown up idolizing Anakin Skywalker as the heroic father he never got to know. Ben Solo HAD a heroic father in Han, he also has a heroic mother in Leia. He knows BOTH of his parents and there's VERY little within the films that I recall to indicate that either parent did not love Ben or treated him badly at all. So he has no reason to hyperfixate on Anakin Skywalker the way that Luke would've done growing up with his aunt and uncle. Anakin's not even actually Ben's grandfather since Leia does not consider Anakin her father in any way but genetic. I find it incredibly unlikely that Ben would not have heard about Bail and Breha Organa as his ACTUAL grandparents. So while I'm sure Ben was fully aware that Anakin Skywalker was Luke and Leia's biological father, I'm also sure that Leia would've made it extra clear to her son that SHE did not consider Anakin her father, and so she would not consider Anakin to be Ben's grandfather.

Which means if Luke is choosing to discuss Anakin Skywalker with Ben Solo solely as someone good and heroic and perfect, that's... really ridiculous and entirely unnecessary. Choosing to disregard the truth about Anakin doesn't do Ben any good, especially since he'd have probably been a lot younger when Luke was choosing to tell those stories than Luke was when Obi-Wan first tells him anything. If Ben has an attachment to his genetic grandfather or a hyperfixation on Anakin Skywalker as a good heroic person, that's entirely Luke's own fault because he CREATED that separation.

Which is completely the opposite from the situation with Obi-Wan and Luke.

I will say that I think this is a really STUPID characterization of Luke, and not something I think Luke as he is portrayed in the original trilogy would have ever actually chosen to do. Luke in ROTJ never DENIES that Anakin and Vader are the same person, he does the exact opposite and that's... kind-of the whole point. Luke can recognize that Vader's done horrific monstrous things and still believe he COULD do better, can still HOPE for Vader to do better. This is not Luke just... pretending Anakin and Vader are different people or pretending Anakin never did anything wrong in his life. And I don't see the benefit in teaching about Anakin in that way to future students. It makes more sense to me that Luke would use Anakin as a cautionary tale, that he can extol that Anakin ultimately did make the right decision (kinda) but that Anakin made a lot of BAD decisions before that and that mindfulness and discipline and acceptance are what will keep them from going down a similar path. But that if they do make a mistake and hurt someone, they can always choose to do better next time.

I don't hate Luke. I hate SEQUELS Luke because SEQUELS Luke has nothing in common with the original Luke aside from the actor playing him, quite honestly.

I like thinking about all of the people in the galaxy who will only ever remember Anakin as the piece of shit nightmare monster he chose to be.

I love remembering that most people in the galaxy will only ever think of him as a villain, a tyrant, an oppressor, a murderer, and never as a hero.

Like regardless of whether he was redeemed at the end of the series or not, his legacy is hatred. The galaxy will never remember him as a good person, it will always ALWAYS remember him as the person who helped destroy democracy, genocide the Jedi, and enforce the Empire’s tyranny for 30 years.

It brings me warm fuzzies to remember that.

[this-acuteneurosis]

hello i'd just like to say i absolutely LOVE dlb and all the works in it. i binged the first two works and caught up with duty bound within two days. speaking of duty bound, i love it sm so far and i was just wondering perhaps are we going to see leia break anytime soon? snap maybe? I just think she deserves to go at least a bit feral, y'know as a little treat.

I mean, my short answer is...spoilers. Sorry.

But I'm willing to talk about this a bit conceptually because I've had a lot of comments both on AO3 and here that basically come back to this question.

I'll lead with a short note: I am a big fan of a well placed feral moment. A perfect snap of temper, a breaking point at the top of a long build. Very cathartic.

That being said, one of the things I've very deliberately avoided in this story is Leia being prone to violent outbursts, except in very specific circumstances. Even when she's emotionally compromised.

I'll casually and loosely cite OT canon for this. When captured by Vader, watching Alderaan's destruction, arguing with Han when they are escaping Hoth, captured on Bespin, most of her confrontations with Jabba, when Luke leaves on Endor. None of these situations provoke a violently out of control Leia. Emotional yes. Loud, certainly. Angry? Oh quite visibly.

And I'm definitely a fan of "Leia has a temper/emotionality similar to her father."

But I think it's important, even and especially, when suggesting her temper is like Anakin's, to point out the differences in how they handle that. Anakin/Vader made Bad Choices. He was 1000% sabotaged by Palpatine, who is an excellent manipulator, and even with all of the other good influences in Anakin's life, he ended up controlling, impulsive, and unapologetically aggressive.

I think it's a Big Deal that his daughter, who could so easily be so much like him, had excellent role models that not only taught her how to manage her feelings in theory, but in practice. In spite of how much danger it put her in, they taught her to fight for others, to lie for just causes, to kill when necessary, and to question authority. Which is hilarious because they were also raising her to be a monarch.

What Palpatine implied Anakin had the right to do, Bail and Breha taught Leia she had the responsibility to do conscientiously, compassionately, and with her eyes wide open to the consequences.

And Damn if what happened to Alderaan wasn't a clear and unequivocal illustration of the consequences. (It is quite possible that Tarkin's actions to compel Leia killed more people in one moment than Vader did in his entire life.)

I'm not going to come down hard and say you will never see DLB Leia lose it and punch someone, or shoot them, or possibly Force chuck them into a wall or over a cliff. (I have so little control over these characters, guys, you have no idea.) She has it in her. And I regularly try and illustrate how her thoughts and inclinations can be very violent.

But I don't believe Anakin being Like That was inevitable. Any more than I believe Luke being kind was a genetic quality, or Padmé's passion for justice was something she was just born with. These are things that were fostered in these characters by the people they knew and the circumstances they found themselves in. And I believe that Leia, at her core, is a person with deep feelings on right and wrong and an enormous potential for quick, decisive, and yes even aggressive and violent action.

But she is Leia Naberrie-Skywalker Organa. There was no way her parents let her into the Imperial Senate without teaching her how to politely and even sweetly eviscerate a man with just words until he wished he were dead just so he could escape.

(Joke's on him, Leia can definitely see ghosts.)

[phoenixyfriend]

Re; Ahsoka and Quinlan being the same age, now I'm picturing Ahsoka, Quinlan, and Rex eventually ending up in a weird sorta thruple where Quinlan comes in and out of the relationship but the door is kinda always open for him? And Rex spends a lot of mornings eyeing the tangle of orange and brown skin on the other side of the bed like he has no idea how he ended up here but he's (mostly) okay with that tbh

Context: Commander Buir in chronological order

YES okay so this is wild to me that people are invested in this but like half the time-travel fics with Ahsoka in the same age-group as Quinlan have me wondering if I should ship them. Let me just. Ho shit.

So, okay, I've explored a lot of possible dynamics but there's something really engaging about how Quinlan, trained as a Shadow before the Sith came back, could react to a War Padawan. Ahsoka isn't really infiltration material yet, she's very much a frontline fighter, but she's got a lot more experience with a kind of consistent dark atmosphere that most Jedi don't. They get exposed to plenty of dark stuff, sure, but not the kind of all-encompassing "this is my life for the last two years" thing that is usually reserved for the long-term field agents like Shadows and Watchmen.

The War Padawans, for all that they were supposed to be just normal Jedi Padawans, were living in the kind of consistently negative environment that's normally experienced by those Knighted Sentinels.

So Ahsoka, while still generally pretty young in these AUs, is a very odd kind of person to be around, because she's spunky and vivacious and snippy and affectionate and snarky and knows how to break every bone in your body from harrowing experience as the only thing standing between death and thousands of brothers.

And Quinlan, I imagine, really likes that about her. She gets it, and she's still an energetic and loving and trying to do her best to be a good person despite everything. He gravitates towards her and she... well, she's not blind. She can tell he's interested. And she's not upset about that.

ANYWAY, ONTO REX

So, Rex is... technically twelve. He hasn't exactly got a whole lot of experience with romance. He is also, up until the point of time-travel, legal property of the Senate and the Jedi Order, which means that Ahsoka, or at least her community, owns him. He was indoctrinated to serve her and that community. She also outranks him, for all that she usually lets him take the lead in the field due to experience. He's older than her physically and maturity-wise, but she's also had a grow-up-faster-than-you-should adolescence, and she has superpowers.

What I'm saying is, the power dynamic is fucked up.

(Unironically I spent hours last night realizing that it balances out a lot more than C*dywan does, which I'm censoring because by god do I not want discourse on this post. I like both ships, and don't want to argue about what's the most problematic. It's Star Wars. The only unproblematic ships are Bail/Breha and Owen/Beru.)

Here's the thing, though, because the main thing people seem to argue here is the age/maturity difference as a problem area:

The age difference in actual time is four years, which is smaller than the two main ships of the franchise (Han/Leia and Padme/Anakin, to be clear). The age difference in maturity is ??? We'll say that the clones started aging normally after they hit twenty, so the age difference in maturity is six years... which is still normal for SW ships.

(This is why I don't have any issues with the ship in a post-O66 context, once they've had a few years to move past the traumas and whatnot. The age stuff all evens out with time, they're a good team, and neither was grooming the other. It's not objectively any more problematic than most SW ships at that point, and I'm okay with that. They deserve to be happy if they want.)

But they get yanked away from all that structure of who owns what, who reports where, who has which rank, who's legally a person in the eyes of the Republic when they end up on Dagobah. Once they've registered when they are, the only remaining complications are:

He grew up in a cultlike environment and was indoctrinated to serve her (but has been replacing that indoctrination with genuine respect and affection for her as a person because they've worked together for two years).

She has superpowers (contextually not a big problem: we see several Force-Sensitive/Non-Sensitive ships that don't consider those powers a complicating element)

He's several years younger than her (canonically less of an issue than it could be: Cut got married and has kids) and has next to no experience with what a normal romance looks like except for hanging out on the edges of whatever the fuck his General has going on with the Senator

She's several years less mature than he is (...something of an issue)

So a lot of this is mostly okay. She feels weird about the fact that she's got more knowledge of romance and all that it entails. He feels weird about the fact that, despite her being older, he looks at her and sees someone that's still a little young, not quite a shiny. Except she is older than him, and he's seen her behead four people in a single move, and they've saved each other's lives more times than either of them can count anymore. He respects her, and the fact that she's babyfaced doesn't change the fact that, in terms of who they are as people and warriors, they're on a level playing field.

She still looks at him and mourns his lost childhood, and he still looks at her and takes a moment to see past the too-big eyes and adolescent proportions.

But they really, really care about each other, and maybe part of them is starting to recognize that there's a bit of a crush before they time-travel, but neither one wants to make a move. There's a lot of baggage on both sides, a lot of "but they're a child" and "but they're (literally vs functionally) below me in the chain of command, I can't take advantage of that" and all that fun stuff. It's the kind of situation where two people circle each other for ages without making a move, because actually making that move is terrifying on account of not knowing whether the other party knows they can say no, on top of the usual "what if it ruins our friendship?" thing.

What happens on Dagobah, though... is very tropey. They're sort of stranded until Ahsoka can fix the ship, and that takes time. The area is also very heavy with the Force, dense and heady with the energy it carries, and it's... actually really not great for Ahsoka. She keeps feeling like she's back on Mortis, and has nightmares from the trigger there, but also keeps hallucinating because she wasn't ready for the thickness of the energy (like Yoda) or still new enough to the Force that she couldn't feel how dense it all was (like Luke). She can't work on the engines as constantly as she'd like to get them out of there, and while Rex is a competent mechanic, he's not as skilled with it as the girl who jumped headfirst into lessons with Anakin.

Rex spends a lot of time holding Ahsoka and wiping her brow with a wet cloth while she's feverish and out of it. Yes we're going full Florence Nightingale romance here, let me have my fun.

They get the communications relay working earlier than the engine, find out the year is wrong, panic a bit. All is well. (It's not, but they're holding it together for now.)

Ahsoka keeps working on the engine when she's lucid. Rex keeps hunting up game and edible plants for them while she does. They cuddle at night, because it's not cold but it is empty of the people they care about, and they kind of want that reassurance of someone they trust and love at their back.

(Morai visits.)

(Daughter shows up in the nightmares, tells Ahsoka that age will not come for her beloved until the time is natural for it. The phrasing is dumb but she does manage to convey that the accelerated aging is no longer an issue, if it even was after they hit adulthood. Ahsoka is relieved.)

And, you know, emotions happen. She takes his hand while they're leaning up against each other. He kisses her forehead while she's having a bad spell. They cook together and tell jokes to keep sane and spar. They hug each other through nightmares and panic attacks. There is much blushing. There is much cuddling.

Once, they kiss.

They break apart, flushing and stammering and being very awkward about the whole thing, and make excuses to leave and panic about the fact that they!! Kissed!!!!!

A couple hours later they find each other again, and have a long and complicated discussion about why they like each other (war makes bedfellows, there's trust and affection and all that fun stuff) and why they're hesitant (age stuff, maturity stuff, prior indoctrination), and make the decision to take it slow. They cuddle, and kiss, and blush a lot because both of them are basically just dumb teens having their first real relationship.

They eventually leave the planet, make it to Coruscant, etc. It takes a bit for anyone except Obi-Wan to realize that something's changed between them. Most people didn't know them before, and Anakin's observation skills are currently at a very low ebb. But they sit together and hold hands, and flirt when they spar, and once or twice people find them kissing (both standard and Keldabe) in a corner while holding hands and then just smiling at each other like loons.

They end up rooming together because nobody has the heart to separate them after hearing about all the war stuff. Like yes attachment's bad, but these two do seem to understand loss of loved ones and recognize that they could lose each other at any time and death is natural and they won't lose their entire shit about it, and if even General Kenobi is anxious as hell about being separated from the people he fought side-by-side with for two years, then maybe it's just... really normal for those two to want each other's company, and everyone can just turn a blind eye to the romance happening.

They share a bed, but they only ever sleep in it. Like, there's some goodnight kisses and cuddles, but everything is very G-rated until they've had time to settle into being true equals instead of just the "well, I guess the power dynamics balance out? Maybe?" of before.

And just... yeah. Rex does not believe that he's in this good of a position whenever he has the time to think about it. He's got a girlfriend! A really pretty, smart, strong, skilled one! Who thinks he's a cool dude! How the fuck did a clone like him manage that? He wasn't even legally a person a year ago, how did he end up in bed with one of the most amazing people he's ever met? He spends multiple nights just staring at her while he tries to fall asleep, asking himself how he got here and just like... marveling at her. She's worth marveling at. He's in love and she's amazing and he has no idea how to handle it at all.

...yeah no I have a lot of feelings now.

[wanderinginksplot]

Just for Kix

Previous | Next | Masterlist 

Leia 

(WARNING for major character death)

It wouldn't be long now.

Kix had warned the general that her time was growing short, and that had been months ago. General Leia Organa had taken the news of her impending death rather well, all things considered. She had accepted it with the grace of her mother, despite the well-known joke that she had inherited her father's temper.

Leia hadn't been able to get out of bed that morning. It had only taken Kix a few hours to notice her absence, though she hadn't called him. Despite his grimness at the day ahead, Kix hadn't been able to suppress a smile. It was such a Skywalker trait to ignore their health, even until death.

The scanner let out a smooth beep - a world of difference from the scanners he had grown used to during the war. The universe had benefited greatly from the half-century of tech advancements that had occurred while Kix slept. Still, he didn't need to check the small readout to know what was happening. He had seen death too many times in too many forms to be fooled by a slow fade.

"Your major systems are beginning to shut down," he told Leia, resting a comforting hand over hers. Her skin was cool to the touch, but her fingers were steadfast rather than shaking. She had known. "It won't be more than a few more hours."

She smiled at him, her brown eyes warm and steady - so much like Padmé's that it hurt. "Thank you, Kix."

It sounded like a dismissal, but Kix didn't budge. "I'll be here with you until it happens."

Leia huffed out a small chuckle. "Kix, you have better things to do than sit with an old woman and wait for her to die."

Kix squinted up at the sky. It was mid-morning and the sky was bright and clear. Leia had been moved to the shade of a shallow cave - protected from the sun and wind, but still able to see and feel the world around her. It was a lovely spot to spend time. "I can't think of a single one, General. With respect, I'll stay."

"Respect," she snorted, shaking her head. "Well, if you're intent on staying, I'm going to put you to work."

He quirked a brow in silent response and she grinned broadly. The expression was such a mirror of General Skywalker's mischievous smile that Kix's heart lurched for a moment. She seemed to be thinking along a similar wavelength, because she ordered, "Tell me about my parents."

"Your parents?" he repeated stupidly. "Breha and Bail or the General and the Senator?"

"Both," Leia said, settling against the pillows protecting her back from the chilled stone wall of the cave. "Though I'm surprised you know anything at all about the Organas."

"Well, Bail in particular liked to have clone troopers escort him on diplomatic missions," Kix told her. "He thought it struck the right tone between showing up with obvious protection and showing up with no protection at all. Most of his escorts were from the Coruscant Guard, but we always shared our stories."

It was some hours later when Kix finally finished with, "...and Bail Organa, the great senator from Alderaan, had to run out of there at full speed, his ornate senatorial robes carried in his arms like a child and blaster fire hitting the ground behind every step! He always swore it was the last time he would bother going to Rattatak."

Leia laughed uproariously, wiping tears from her cheeks. "He never told me that version of the story! He just said that senators weren't welcome on Rattatak and that I shouldn't go… but if I did, I should make sure to wear comfortable shoes. I always wondered what he meant by that."

"One mystery solved," Kix told her with a smile.

"And just in time," she agreed. "I would hate to have missed that story. Now, what about my birth parents? I understand you worked with my father, but I wouldn't have expected you to know my mother. She was said to be beautiful and kind, passionate about political causes but not overly involved."

Kix snorted so hard that his throat stung. "Not overly involved? Did Senator Organa tell you that?"

"He did," Leia said, a wry grin playing around her mouth. "I take it that was a fairytale, an attempt to make me behave?"

"Maybe he knew a different side of Padmé than I did, but I've never known a politician to get in so many shootouts, present company excluded."

"Shootouts?" she asked, incredulous.

"Oh, yeah," Kix affirmed with a deep nod for emphasis. "I can't count how many times we were sent in to save your mother after she had gone in to try to make peace with some Seppie-leaning world and things had gone wrong. It didn't help that your father was in love with her by that point. He would have deployed the entire GAR if it meant keeping her safe, and he wasn't especially careful who knew about it…"

As he spoke, a small part of Kix's brain was working on the medical side of things. He tracked exactly how much color Leia's face was losing, watched as she leaned more and more of her weight against the pillows, and noted exactly when she stopped asking questions. Eventually, she stopped even replying to him.

Kix kept talking. Every bit of experience he had told him that hearing was the last sense to fade, and he would not let his general's daughter die in silence, wondering if everyone had abandoned her. He paused only once in his storytelling, and it was to administer a small dose of pain meds when Leia's breathing grew labored.

As the sun dropped low in the sky, Kix told story after story to the unresponsive woman in the bed in her cave. He talked about senators and generals, padawans and Jedi masters, of a war that had ended, but only in the least expected of ways, and of an army of identical men who spent their days finding ways to be different.

When her chest had stopped rising and falling, Kix stood to pull the bed's sheet up and over her slack face.

"Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum," he said in harsh Mando'a, the words still echoing with the pain of a thousand losses. "I'm still alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal. Leia Organa, Breha Organa, Bail Organa, Padmé Amidala, Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Rex, Jesse, Fives, Echo, Tup, Appo, Dogma, Hardcase…"

The list continued until Kix felt lighter, purged somehow of the weight of death. Remembering the little he had been told about ghosts in the Force, he glanced around the clearing. It was hazy in the dusky twilight, but he could see that no one else was nearby.

"If you're here, General Skywalker... take care of her. Your daughter found a way to be extraordinary in a world that tries to stomp out every bit of that it can find."

For a moment, Kix felt the shadow of a hand's weight on his shoulder, the sensation of company, of brotherhood - and it was gone. He was alone in the shallow cave once more. He squared his shoulders, gathering his thoughts and willpower for the days ahead.

There was work to be done.

---

A/N - This is probably the most angst-driven thing I will ever write. Two months ago, I had a family member pass away. This chapter was written as a way of processing the feelings of sitting by someone's bedside as they shut down. I definitely cried while I wrote this one. Sorry for the information overload! I have one more chapter planned for this series (though I always reserve the right to add more, haha) and I promise that it's far more cheerful than this one. You made it through the worst!

[threadsketchier]

So I saw the prequels prior to the Originals and it always bothered me how Luke got dumped on a death planet of Tatooine considering the state of that environment and shot that when down in the previous films while Leia got a life of privilege. I was hoping Bail would argue against splitting the twins. I obviously knew why it had to go that route because it had to align and follow up with the Originals. I guess it came off that Luke wasn’t really wanted...?

I already wrote a ficlet somewhat addressing this misconception.

Also, frankly, I’m getting kind of tired of rehashing the same issue - why do people keep assuming that the Larses don’t matter and don’t have a right to be in Luke’s life just because they live on Space Australia?  Why do their feelings not count just because they’re low-to-middle-class moisture farmers who don’t live in a palace on Space Switzerland-Utopia?  Why the fuck do people assume that Luke wasn’t wanted just because the Organas have a personal preference that was obviously previously established before shit hit the fans and they wanted a daughter and Bail, as a senator and Viceroy - essentially co-leader of his planet - is a fucking rational guy who understands the necessity of making hard decisions dictated by logic over emotions?

The twins weren’t just “split up because that’s how the movies have to go,” it does make internal sense within the narrative that it was safer to hide them in vastly separate locations to prevent both of them from being discovered at the same time and thus lost together, or for their latent Force bond to make them a psychic target if they grew up together and established it, acting like a beacon for Vader and Palpatine and any minions of theirs.  It sucks, it’s painful, it has awkward consequences for them later on when Leia’s a bit too loose with her lips, but that’s why these movies have a tragic backstory.  It has to suck real hard before it gets better.

Does it seem crazy that Leia wound up raised in such a screamingly obvious position as daughter of a then-Imperial Senator and princess of a highly prominent Core world being trained to follow in her biological mother’s footsteps and become a senator herself, thus occupying a very exposed role in the Empire, right under the Emperor’s and Vader’s noses?  Yeah.  But also remember that the Superman/Clark Kent illusion can actually work in real life.  Assumption is a powerful thing.  Your average Joe Citizen would assume that someone as otherworldly as Superman, an alien with the ability to fly, strength to bench-press skyscrapers and jumbo jets, heat vision, and other amazing things, would never stoop to living as a normal, humble, inconvenienced human being.  It’s not merely the hiding behind a pair of glasses and hunching over a little with a nerdy tone and habits - it’s the entire idea that a Clark Kent could even exist in the same person of Superman.  They don’t understand that he was raised as a human and actually desires this life, and doesn’t feel the need to lock himself away permanently in his dope Fortress of Solitude and never interact with the very people he wants to save and protect.

Vader was lied to by Palpatine about the nature of Padmé’s death, but there was no disputing that she actually died.  In his crushing despair, Vader accepted with heaps of self-flagellation that his child was dead.  He didn’t even know he had two children.  In his mind, whenever he saw Leia - surely they were in each other’s circles at least at a distance before Rogue One and ANH - even if she reminded him of Padmé six ways from Sunday, he would not assume she was his daughter, because as far as he was concerned his child was dead.  The OT establishes that latent Force-sensitivity also does not automatically make two related Force-sensitives consciously aware of each other until they mutually know one another as being related and Force-sensitive, so not even torturing Leia revealed this to him.

But I’m going off on a tangent.  Let’s break this down:

Tatooine is nothing but a source of anguish for Anakin and his personal loathing for the place made it ideal as a hiding place.  And no, I’m not just haha joking about sand.  He was a slave there and buried his mother there after slaughtering an entire village of natives he knew in his heart that he shouldn’t have.  It holds nothing but misery and failure for him.

Yes, Tatooine is abso-fucking-lutely a galactic cesspit.  It’s ruled by the most vile mob boss in the galaxy, is rife with nasty wildlife that’s out to kill you, and is haunted by the troubles brought about by strife between colonizers and the native population.  It is indisputably a dangerous place.  But it wasn’t Tatooine that killed the Larses.  It was the Empire.  Just because they look like Soft Folks™ doesn’t mean they were - Owen and Beru knew how to take care of themselves, and they certainly knew how to take care of a child in this environment.  They survived to middle age just fine, and would’ve kept going if it wasn’t for those fucking stormtroopers.  Just because they didn’t live a life of luxury also doesn’t mean they were dirt poor either.  When we meet Luke in ANH, he’s a healthy young lad who still has the privilege to fuck off with his buddies around his farm duties.  Life may be tough but it’s not squalor and deprivation for him.

But honestly, even if they WERE dirt poor, they’re still Luke’s family, and they very obviously loved him.  I almost feel like I shouldn’t have to restate it, but I will: Owen and Beru loved Shmi, and upon hearing that Anakin died and left behind a baby son, why wouldn’t they be moved and compelled to take Luke in, and why wouldn’t they deserve to have the chance to raise him in their memory?  Even though they’d be sad that Luke was orphaned, they might even see this as a blessing to be able to raise Shmi’s grandson and Anakin’s son.

As much as he bitched about chores as a teenager, Luke learned damn valuable skills growing up on a Tatooine moisture farm that, coupled with the Force, saved everybody’s asses at the Battle of Yavin, and went on to make him an ideal squadron leader.  Wealth and privilege are not always the best foundation, or at least certainly not the automatic one, for a person to learn good character either.

The Organas are human too.  Faced with a difficult choice, they decided to take this poignant opportunity to fulfill a dream they’d been deferring for some time.  Sometimes parents wish for a specific child, and that’s their prerogative (except IRL they don’t actually get to pick, they get whatever kid they gestate).  If they’d taken Luke and let Obi-Wan take Leia, we’d be having the same argument about Leia growing up on Tatooine.  There was no inequality in this decision.  Bail and Breha wanted a daughter, there was a daughter present among the twins, so they chose her.  This does not mean they valued Luke any less.  Since the twins couldn’t be raised together for their own safety, it might as well have come down to a coin toss.  Bail isn’t evil for exercising a shred of his personal emotions and desires in a situation where he otherwise knew he’d have to restrain himself.  Also, he’d be smart enough to respect the fact that both children had actual family elsewhere in the galaxy and wouldn’t think any less of the Larses just because they live on Tatooine.  The only way his decision would be careless or heinous was if he knew Luke was being taken to people who were abusive or so destitute they couldn’t even care for themselves, much less a third person, and he did nothing about it - but we know this is not that situation.

How do you feel about non-wealthy people living in harsh places here on Earth raising their children?  Would you expect all the rich people in the world to go take those children away from them and adopt them just so they could grow up “privileged” instead?  Think about how that sounds for a moment or two.

Honestly, if Bail had tried to argue about taking both twins because he felt taking Luke to his legal family on Tatooine was “cruel” or “neglectful” because of the planet’s “risky environment and poverty,” I’d hope either Obi-Wan or Yoda would have enough sense to smack him upside the head for being so thoughtless as to insult these people for being seemingly beneath him.

There is more to life than money and power/prestige, and Leia’s upbringing wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.  She was no pampered, air-headed royal spending her days sitting idle being hand-fed space grapes while her “poor” brother ate sand cookies.  She had to undergo intensive academic, political, and physical training from young childhood in order to prepare her to become a covert Rebel agent while she was still a teenager, as if being a child senator wasn’t already stressful and demanding enough.  Sure, she never lacked for anything, but that is an incredible amount of responsibility to saddle on someone who wasn’t even an adult yet (like her bio mother).  Luke was blessed with far more freedom and peace in his childhood than his sister.  And him living on Tatooine with his father’s surname wasn’t nearly as dangerous as Leia existing within the heart of the Empire while actively engaging in Rebel activities that could have cost her her life, even without getting into the whole “daughter of Anakin Skywalker” business.

Also, just because we joke about Tatooine being Space Australia doesn’t mean every single day of Luke’s childhood was THAT eventful.  It was more likely 80% dull farm life and 20% mayhem, and that 20% would be mostly Luke’s fault for being a crazy nut like his parents and getting himself into trouble he could have avoided in most cases.  In other words, growing up there might not have been nearly as “deadly” as we make it out to be.

[ofalderaan]

Ferus had been in space when Alderaan was attacked. Terrified by reports that Leia's ship had been destroyed, Bail Organa had sent him to investigate. Ferus had long refused to join Organa's Rebel Alliance - however much he may have wanted to fight the Empire, his place was in the shadows. His role was protector, not warrior. But this wasn't about the Alliance, this was about helping Leia, and it was a request Organa knew Ferus would never refuse.   It was a request that had saved him. Shortly after Ferus lifted off, Alderaan had been destroyed. That same day, reports had surfaced that the princess was safe and sound. Knowing that Leia was safe had offered Ferus his only consolation in the time of unthinkable tragedy.

Rebel Force: Hostage Alex Wheeler

[slx99]

Do you have any headcanons from your Hostage universe that you haven’t written yet? I feel like I can’t get enough of it!

Why dear, Anon, YES. I have so much head canons. While I am in the end part of my thesis writing I don’t have time for much so have here some head canons from Luke Organa’s teenage years that I posted a while ago (I did update, add and change some of what I wrote back then.) in response the Luke Organa headcanons from Treenahasthal (which I asked her about, full disclosure, I DO badger all my favorited writers with my Luke Organa obsession). When the madness is over, my thesis is done and the current madness of this world is a tadbit easier to manage, I will follow it up with more headcanons on Luke time in Imperial custody.

·       Bail and Breha never spoiled Luke, but neither were they harsh or demanding. They tried their best a raising Luke as normal as possible. But still Luke was raised with the huge expectation hanging over his head to follow in his parents’ footsteps, first filling his role as crown prince, taking over more and more responsibility as he grew older and eventually become King of Alderaan. Bail and Breha tried to prepare Luke best they could, they would have drummed into him, but also shown him by example, what their roles meant to them: a position to serve and help those who cant help themselves.

·       Duty, responsibility, hard work, all that comes with the ‘job’ Luke is ‘born’ into. His schedule from early age would have started to fill up with royal duties, starting with accompanying his parents and eventually taking over his own appointments and duties.

·       When Luke was younger he had a nanny he adored, she died when Luke was five. It was Luke’s first memory of someone he loved dying.

·       Despite wanting to, Luke never visited a regular school. He had tutors and instructors. After begging Bail for ages, Luke was finally allowed to attend some music classes with kids his age but overall he had little contact to kids his age except for handpicked occasions and individuals.

·       The other occasion he’s meeting kids his age is when he’s playing nuna ball, which Luke loves and is fairly good at.

·       As Alderaan’s crown prince, Luke is expected to wear white at pretty much all times, nuna ball and sports in general being one of the few exceptions. So Luke is stuck wearing white or at least very light colored pastel tones until he eventually becomes king. White/ light here symbolizes innocence and pacifism in the most literal way. Basically Alderaan’s own little peace dove. Luke doesn’t like the rule at all, but he wouldn’t dream of breaking with the tradition, knowing how much it means to his family and all of Alderaan. Luke would much rather wear some no-nonsense clothes, that would allow him full movement, outdoor activities and the occasional dive under a grimy, oily speeder to fix it.

·       Luke would has a pretty polished ‘core wolrd’ accent and he would be well articulate in general. He tries to imitate Bail and Breha’s way of speaking and that works fairly well unless he is upset which is when it shows that he is still quite young.

·       Luke is impulsive, he wants action instead of talking, but he’s learned to keep it to himself. He acts very mature but if triggered his facade will show cracks fast.

·       Same as Luke is conscientious and mindful of Alderaan’s traditions and his ‘job’ he’d much much rather not be a prince at all. He endlessly dreams of piloting and adventures. Politics don’t come natural to him. Luke never questions his duty in front of others, but Bail and Breha are well aware of Luke’s feelings and they are both concerned about it.

·       Luke has ‘too much of his father in him’. Bail and Breha tried to curb his reckless tendencies by keeping him at arm’s length from piloting and any form of fighting and Jedi teachings. (I know they didn’t do that to Leia, but I think they’d not do that with Luke).

·       This is why Luke only has second hand knowledge of piloting and he learned to shoot a blaster from the captain of the royal guard in secret after he begged him for months to train him. Mostly because of his lack of practise, Luke is an atrocious shot.

·       Luke hates royal protocol, even the pretty relaxed one of Alderaan and despite how little his parents care about it when they are alone.

·       Luke 100% hates having an entourage accompanying him anywhere he goes outside the palace compounds. He is accompanied by one pace guard and his tutor when he goes on his solo appointments, like visiting an orphanage and the reopening of Castanta’s refurbished old library.

·       Bail never takes Luke to Coruscant. With every year Luke gets older, Bail becomes more aware of this uncanny likeness between Luke and Anakin. So he tries his very best to keep Luke far away from the emperor and Vader.

·       The fact that Luke is adopted is a closely guarded secret which becomes harder to hide as Luke grows older and how little he resembles Bail and Breha.

·       Luke learned of it late. Bail knows it was wrong to hide this from Luke but he shied away from telling Luke in fears of it sparking in Luke the need to find out about and then take after his parents. When Luke is in his early teenage years he is finally told that he’s adopted and it leaves him struggling finding his place in his family again no matter how much Bail and Breha insist that for all and any purposes he’s been their son from the day they brought him over the step of their door.

·       All Luke is told about his biological parents are their first names and that he is a war orphan. Anything else would be too dangerous since Luke has all he needs to research his parents.

·       From the day he was ‘born’ to Breha, Luke has been under very close scrutiny of the media. From adorable ‘first holo of the new crown prince’ to adulthood, the holo cameras follw him around and he HATES it. Not just because it takes away his freedom and privacy but because there has been a fair deal of horrible yellow press about him.

·       Over the years there have been speculations that Luke is the product of genetic tampering, that he’s adopted altogether and (most horribly to Luke) that he’s the product of an extramarital relationship Breha had. Especially the last one never fails to rile Luke up and he has once picked a physical fight with a kid that taunted him with it. His lack of resemblance to his parents is his softest spot and it only becomes worse when he finally knows the (half) truth.

·       Whenever challenged, he’s trying to hide his insecurities behind a thick layer of arrogance.

[shadowmaat]

Sorry, had a hard time paring this down: 8, 9, 11, 33, 40, 42, 56, 57 for the Q&A

Favourite Star Wars book?

To be honest, I haven’t read many of the books. Or at least not recently enough to remember them. ;) Would probably have to go with Wrath of Darth Maul. It’s a really grim but fascinating look into what made Maul into the person he is. And it makes a lie of the Jedi idea that people choose to Fall to the Dark.

Favourite Star Wars Comic?

I’ve actually read more comics than I realized at first. Probably gonna go with the early Poe Dameron comics, though. Good character, good worldbuilding, and right up until the bit where he went from being a supporter of droid rights to “killing” a droid and replacing it with another’s personality for his own convenience, I was really happy with it. And there ARE some good snippets after that point, but I’ve only seen them via tumblr because I stopped reading the comic after that.

Top 5 favourite female Jedi?

Does Issa count? ;) Let’s see, in no particular order: Jocasta Nu, Vokara Che, Rey, Yaddle, Katooni (only an Initiate, but still badass).

What species is your type?

For sheer aesthetic appreciation? I adore the nautolans. All those ahwey on their heads and their big eyes and bigger grins? Love ‘em. For more romantic I’m more of a cuddler than a lover and I dunno that I have a type. Anyone who gives good hugs. ;)

What colour would your lightsaber(s) be?

If we’re going by favorite color, it’d be purple, but if we’re sticking to more “realistic” shades probably blue. Though I wouldn’t mind orange, either (which isn’t a normal color, but shhh, two colors is so damn boring).

Would you customise your armour?

Abso-damn-lutely. For starters, I’m smol, so some customization would be necessary just to make sure everything fit right. But decoration? Hells, yes! Not gonna let all that blank canvas go to waste! Might be paint, might be stickers, might be a combination of things. Though if it’s art I’d need someone to do it for me cuz my skills are limited to words.

Top 5 favourite Legends character?

I know almost nothing of Legends characters beyond a vague sense of recognition from books I read 20+ years ago and the ones who show up in Star Wars Pokemon, so... Mara Jade (she IS classic, I’ve definitely read books she was in, and she also had a few cameos in a fic I love), Darth Millennial (just for the name alone, LOL), Bastila Shan (very useful on my Jedi team), Revan, Winter Celchu.

Who is your Star Wars role model?

They’re all such trash fires in their own ways. LOL! I think Bail Organa was pretty damn good, though. And Leia will always be our Princess and our General. Can’t leave out Breha, either, though we don’t get much in canon about her. Steff’s stuff with her is a good fill-in for what canon never gave us. :)

[gffa]

Guess who’s crying because STAR WARS is full of feelings again? ALL OF US, THAT’S WHO. This is another collection designed to have at least a little something for almost everyone, whether you’re here for a ship or a certain era of the Saga or the greater SW tapestry, whether you want to cry about Anakin Skywalker or want to keep crying about the Rebels, whether you’re here for Leia Organa feelings or just want to roll around in a time travel that will hopefully eventually fix everything, there should hopefully be at least one fic that appeals! Star Wars fandom is so good at providing things to read (so much so that I still have at least a dozen novel-length fics on my reader that I haven’t even been able to start yet!) and so many of them are so, so worth your time to read. Bless all the authors making it even better to be a fan of this ridiculous series about space wizards and aliens and smugglers and good kids doing their best against an evil regime that wants to crush everyone! STAR WARS FIC RECS: TIME TRAVEL RECS: ✦ Drifting Starlight by Pandora151, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & qui-gon & cast, time travel, 60.3k    Just before the fateful Battle of Naboo, Qui-Gon Jinn is brought to the future, to the Clone Wars. He doesn’t know why or how, but he knows one thing for sure: He never, in a million years, expected the galaxy to end up like this. ✦ The Dark Path Lit by Sun and Stars by A_Delicate_Fury, obi-wan & luke & leia & han & cast, time travel, 33.8k wip    After a disaster on the cosmic scale that Obi-Wan is still trying to wrap his mind around, he finds himself back in the early days of the Clone Wars, Commander Cody loyally at his side, Anakin at his back, and Sidious plotting against the Jedi at every turn. ✦ Death, Yet The Force (so rise and shine) by EclipseMidnight (EternalEclipse), obi-wan & mace & tahl & cin drallig & qui-gon & depa & cast, time travel, 14.9k    In which the most eclectic group of time travelers wake up in 949 ARR (51 BBY) and attempt to unravel what the Force wants them to do and begin to take the necessary steps to ensure the survival of the Jedi in the future ✦ In Time by Ripki, obi-wan & anakin, time travel, 23.6k wip    When a mysterious holocron sends [Obi-Wan and Anakin] through time, they don’t only have to confront their past and future – but the present as well. ✦ Worldwalker by rainglazed, ezra & kanan & cast, time travel, 25.5k wip    Time travel AU where Ezra Bridger meets Caleb Dume the day after Order 66. ✦ twin suns by tripletmoons, obi-wan & cast, time travel, 1.5k    Obi-Wan Kenobi is six years old when he meets Ben. It goes like this: he falls asleep in the Temple and wakes up in the sand. PREQUELS RECS: ✦ So, How Was My Funeral? by Ibelin, obi-wan & anakin & yoda & mace, 5k    ��Obi-Wan, I need you to know two things. First, I love you so much.” Anakin looked his master in the eye, demanding full acknowledgment. “And second, I am going to kill you.” ✦ Though Lovers Be Lost by panharmonium, obi-wan & cast, 4.5k    When they tell stories about his life, will they speak of loss or love? You cannot have one without the other, after all. ✦ Catechin by ambiguously, mace & depa, 2.1k    Three times Mace Windu and Depa Billaba took tea together. ✦ untitled by swhurtcomfort, obi-wan & anakin, 1.7k    Anonymous asked: Hey, can I request an Obi-Wan with a bad fever getting taken care of by Anakin who is too stubborn to admit hes also sick? ✦ Old Sins Cast Long Shadows by zarabithia, ahsoka & obi-wan & anakin & padme (& building background obi-wan/padme), 12.8k wip    In this universe, when Palpatine asks if Anakin is going to kill him, Anakin does. While Anakin ultimately wins, it costs him his life. In this universe, the twins are raised by Ahsoka, Padmé, and Obi-Wan. ✦ We Will Abide by naberiie, plo & shaak, 10.3k    Light. Dark. Balance. Beneath the Jedi Temple, far below the chaos of Coruscant’s Galactic City, ancient halls and corridors sleep in silent darkness. Padawans Shaak Ti and Plo Koon are determined to explore them. ✦ memories like ashes at our feet by ambiguously, anakin & ahsoka, 4.2k    Darth Vader was gravely injured in the explosion of the Sith Temple. Now Anakin Skywalker has no memory of what he’s doing here with Ahsoka. ✦ valley of the shadow by darlingargents, obi-wan & luminara (& barriss), 1.6k    In which Luminara finds out. ✦ Queen of Peace by Sassaphrass, obi-wan & padme & cast (background anakin/padme), 20.2k    Padmé Amidala lives. Democracy is dead, The Jedi are Dead, and her beloved husband Anakin Skywalker is dead. But, Padmé is still alive. Her children are still alive. And maybe, just maybe, there is still hope. So, she’ll just have to keep going, and pray that someday all these terrible sacrifices will have been worth it. ✦ The Mathematics of Repair by panharmonium, obi-wan & anakin, 4.6k    For raw teachers and rough-edged students building in the rubble: tiny steps are enough, provided they carry you in the right direction. Immediately post TPM, in short snippets. ✦ Scavenged Parts of Broken Hearts by crowleyshouseplant, mace & paxi, 3.1k    Paxi Sylo meets Mace Windu a second time. ✦ On the Third Day by victoria_p (musesfool), anakin & bail & breha & leia, 3.4k    Vader’s patience has run out. ✦ Nothing by Pandora151, obi-wan & anakin & dooku, ~1k    A single split-second decision changes everything. ✦ A Ghost’s Embrace by AceQueenKing, shmi & padme & leia, 1.4k    Shmi Skywalker watches over her granddaughter, but she isn’t alone. ✦ Space Twins by glorious_clio, obi-wan & luke & leia & bail, 1.1k    Obi-Wan is tasked with bringing Luke to Tatooine. For his part, Bail brings Leia home to Breha. ✦ Eternal Darkness by Darth_Vodka, jedi & cast (& jocasta), 5k    When the newly anointed Darth Vader leads the 501st Legion to the Jedi Temple to execute Order 66, a last ditch effort to preserve the Jedi Order has unintended consequences. ✦ these little things called pyrrhic victories by RestlessWanderings, obi-wan & anakin, 3.6k    Or, the one where Obi-Wan follows Yoda’s orders and kills Anakin, which changes some things but leaves others the same. ✦ Tag by Imadra Blue, obi-wan & yoda, ~1k    A three-year-old Obi-Wan follows Master Yoda around the Temple. ✦ See No Evil by GirlwithCurls98, ahsoka & anakin & yoda & cast, 9.7k wip    When Ahsoka suffers a head injury, she loses something she thought would always be there. With the help of her friends, she learns how to adapt to her new reality, and how she can use it to her advantage, all while searching for a cure. ✦ A First Time for Everything by Ossian, obi-wan & anakin, 1.1k    Post-TPM, Obi-Wan and Anakin find a connection ✦ Time to Go by JediShampoo, obi-wan/padme & cast, 4.9k    Obi-Wan is leaving Alderaan and taking Luke with him. He and Padme must say their goodbyes. Stuff happens. ✦ An Interlude (The Passing of Some Days) by victoria_p (musesfool), obi-wan & leia & bail/breha, 1k    Bail makes some calls. ✦ buy a dog by panharmonium, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon, 2.4k    You ask of my companions. Hills, sir, and the sundown, and a dog as large as myself that my father bought me. They are better than human beings, because they know but do not tell. -Dickinson OBI-WAN/ANAKIN RECS: ✦ Titles, Traditions, and Other Forms of Attachment by MarchofBirds, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, 25.5k    Or: How Anakin’s relationship to the term “Master” changes throughout different stages of his life. ✦ Both Deserve Happiness by zarabithia, obi-wan/anakin, 1.3k    The Republic falls, but Anakin doesn’t. Together, Obi-Wan and Anakin lead the hunt to find Palpatine. Eventually, they have to face the fact that their relationship has changed. ✦ Tumblr Prompt Drabbles by Adelphrexia, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 1.5k wip (sort of)    A collection of Obikin drabble requests originally posted on my Tumblr. Mostly smut, any warnings will be posted on the chapter they apply to. ✦ Lucky me by orphan_account, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, hooker au, 1.9k    Anakin might never have been found by the Jedi, Obi-Wan and he still are lucky enough to meet each other. ✦ Cuddle by Captain Starseeker, obi-wan/anakin, 1k    When having a rough, over worked day, it’s nice to just sit down and cuddle with your loved one. ObiAni fluff ✦ Yes, Master by Little Green Voice, obi-wan/anakin, 12.1k    It wasn’t only the words. It was the way they were said. And, if he was completely honest, it was also a little the words. Not so much about the ‘yes’ though, as it was about the “Master”. ✦ Pursuit by Icse, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, modern au, 16.3k wip    Ben Kenobi wasn’t interested in taking on a working student, […] still, he can recognize talent when he sees it and agrees to take on Anakin as his working student. He certainly didn’t plan on falling for him. ✦ Tagalongs by zarabithia, obi-wan/anakin & luke & leia, modern au, 3.4k    Leia has cookies to sell, and her father is along for the ride. Had he known that someone as handsome as Obi-Wan Kenobi was going to purchase some, Anakin might have taken more than five minutes to get dressed. ✦ Naughty Padawans by salixbabylon, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, spanking, 1.4k    Obi-Wan, completely fed up with his padawan, tries something definitely *not* in the Master’s Handbook. ✦ Secret Fire by ambiguously, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, 2.7k    Masters, especially human masters, would sometimes take their young students aside and offer them this experience. It was perfectly normal. ORIGINAL TRILOGY RECS: ✦ As Old As Rhyme by ambiguously, padme & luke, ~1k    Every night, someone sits next to Luke on his bed and sings a lullabye in a low voice in a language he doesn’t know. ✦ The Belonging You Seek by WiliQueen, luke & leia & ahsoka & cast, 30.9k wip    A chance discovery gives Luke and Leia a glimpse into who Anakin was, and leads them to more than they ever expected. More questions, more answers… and more family. ✦ Hear Me by crowleyshouseplant, anakin & leia & luke & cast, 3.2k    Leia struggles to reconcile Luke’s experience with his father and hers with Darth Vader. ✦ Spar by glorious_clio, liea & luke & wedge & han, 3.2k    Luke is desperate to learn the ways of the Force. Leia can’t really help him there, but she knows how to wield a blade. REBELS RECS: ✦ Is It Gremlins? by ncfan, sabine & kallus, 8.3k    This was not how Sabine expected to spend her afternoon. ✦ pas de deux by glorious_clio, kanan/hera, 1.9k    After spending all day in the cockpit, and with one more chore to complete, Hera Syndulla feels the urge to move. But even a simple moment can come with a hangup or two. Luckily, she has a supportive partner. ✦ Celestial Navigation by ambiguously, zeb/kallus, 1.7k    Kallus doesn’t understand why Zeb’s not sad. ✦ Bank of Coals by Eclectic_Goddess, kanan/hera & ezra, 1.4k    “You should get some rest.” “I’m fine.” “That would be more convincing if you could keep your eyes open when you said it.” ✦ The Joy of Nescience by ambiguously, kanan & depa & ahsoka/rex, 2.1k    Three times Kanan Jarrus did not want to know. ✦ Symbios by bam_cassiopeia, ahsoka & sabine & aphra, 4.1k    Sabine and Ahsoka go on a quest for a boy and his purrgils. ✦ An Unexpected Encounter by codenametargeter, kanan/hera & hondo & katooni, 2k    It’d been enough of a surprise when Ahsoka Tano had turned out to be alive. Kanan definitely wasn’t expecting to find another member of the Jedi Order so soon and definitely not amongst Hondo Ohnaka’s pirate gang. SOLO RECS: ✦ Feelings Are a Luxury and This is War by igrockspock, han/qi'ra, 1.3k    Feelings are a luxury Qi'Ra can’t afford. ✦ tell me, get my shit together by paperclipbitch, han/lando & chewbacca & cast, solo spoilers, 5.3k    “I thought we were actively avoiding each other after the Trandosha Shitshow,” Han says. “We’re actively avoiding each other after the Iridonia Shitshow,” Lando corrects him, “the Trandosha Shitshow is That Which We Do Not Speak Of.” ✦ Falcon Heart by crowleyshouseplant, lando & l3, solo spoilers, 3k    Lando is reunited with an old friend. SEQUELS RECS: ✦ Relax and Fly Casual by igrockspock, han & ben & cast, 4.1k    A father-son smuggling trip is not the kind of quality time Ben had in mind. ✦ each offering of tenderness by victoria_p (musesfool), rey & leia & finn & poe & chewbacca & rose & r2-d2, 3.1k    “I can fix it,” Rey insists. “I can fix anything.” ✦ Waste Management by shadydave, leia & rey & finn & poe & rose, 10.4k    “Uh, hi,” says Finn. “We’re here to rescue you?” FULL DETAILS + RECS HERE!

[graciecatfamilyband]

I saw somewhere that today is fanfic author appreciation day! I am unsure if this is accurate or not, but assuming that it is, I would like to take a moment to say: I appreciate you, my beloved fanfic author friend!!

My Dearest Tachiisms,

It was in fact fanfic author appreciation day when you sent this (August 21)! I deeply appreciate this gesture of appreciation from you, my RP friend. :) 

I am going to use this opportunity to say that that day- usually a day of great joy for me, as someone who has loved many works for fanfiction since I began reading it two years ago- was a bit of a hard day for me. My relationship with the fan fiction community (at least within the community I currently write in) has changed considerably in the last year and, on top of that, I have not written nearly as much as I have wanted to (or, to be honest, read as much as I wanted to either). 

The good things that I did get to reflect on for Fanfic Appreciation Day:

Getting to beta the work of @mary-twig. We are going slowly in terms of putting the finishing touches on the remaining chapters, but she has a very sweet and spicy Han/Leia story in progress right now, and I’m very excited for audiences to get to experience some upcoming dialogue and sexual tension. It’s been an honor to get to be there with a young writer as she develops her style and learns how she wants to story-tell, and I’m so impressed how she manages to navigate the differences between English and her native language. (Check out her FF.net page here.)

Betaing the final installment of @organanation‘s Wild West AU. I was so impressed at her continued growth in writing period, her ability to create imagery in a world she created, her ability to effectively write action scenes that did the job more than well but weren’t excessively long (i.e. they kept my attention, and made me laugh and cheer, and I sometimes struggle with paying attention to those!), and her continued mastery of romance and sexual tension. I owe her some reviews, but the final, short chapter of the story is probably my absolute favorite part and a must-read for any Han/Leia fan. The flirty, saucy, playful romance of it, so Han/Leia, and yet such a happy ending. Having the privilege to do all the nitpicking on the story while she does the heavy lifting has been a joy. (FF.net page here.)

Continuing to admire the sheer productivity of @lajulie24, her ability to do so much in such a short space, and to integrate themes that speak to me with excellent characterization and great plot. (And now she does mood boards? Amazing!) Just a very impressive writer on many spectrums. (AO3 page here.)

@jediofgrace​ For her writing, and for nerding out with me about what makes stories work and what speaks to readers, and for writing with a sense of humor and detail. She is an equally great writer and reader. (FF.net page here.)

@jainadurron​ who shared some interesting, honest, in-depth, and thoughtful discussions about writing, story-telling, characterization, etc. with me. I deeply appreciated them. (I especially recommend  her NJO fic The Road to Recovery and her AU An Alderaanian Love Story.)

@swimmergirl71​ who took the plunge from reader into writer this year, with great results. So many “readers” have worlds within them that they carry inside for fear of looking foolish or being incapable if they put them to paper, and it’s so thrilling when they actually share them with us. Thanks for doing so swimmergirl, and I hope you will feel free to share more in the future. (FF.net page here). 

@smugglerofsass’s unique point of view, commitment to exploring the depths of Han’s inner world, and ability to take any given piece music and turn it into Han/Leia scenes. I hope she will keep posting snippets of whatever she wants to work on or is in her head at a given moment, as well as keep working on some of those MCs she taunts us with. (Her FF.net page is here, but really, she puts so much on Tumblr only!) 

@otterandterrier‘s Scoundress Saturday, which provides such a great opportunity for people to try their hand at writing in a low-pressure and accepting space! This is a true treasure of the Han/Leia community. Fanfiction is, to me, about “everyone can do it”, and Scoundress Saturday, to me, makes people really feel like that is so. (Although all types of content and its creators are welcome! But I particularly enjoy how well it attracts fic writers.) It’s also just great to have an organized place where one can see Han/Leia fanfic weekly. Thanks to Dessi for all the work she puts into making it happen for everyone. 

@otterandterrier​ herself (check out her writing blog @otterandterrierwrites​ ), who has remained committed to her foc writing while finishing major RL writing tasks. I wouldn’t know where to start on reccing her last year’s worth of work because it’s so varied and so good, but I’ve particularly enjoyed seeing Han and Leia getting to know each other in the bedroom, Leia attempting to meditate, and that time Han asked Leia to marry him. (AO3 here.)

@yoyomarules an incredibly talented writer whose mastery of dialogue and sense of humor make her a must read! I am so woefully behind on her work, but I am so grateful I discovered her this year. Again, too hard to recommend a specific work, because it’s all so good! (AO3 page here.) 

@inelegantprose whose dedication to exploring the themes which most interest her in varied, never-ending, and never ever boring ways, and with such skill, is a breath of fresh air (or, because of the heaviness of some of the writing, a gust of storm wind! but either way- bracing, making an impact, different from one’s usual experience, etc.). The Lynnie ‘verse and what comes next particularly  stand out to me, but I have such admiration for her as a writer. I also appreciate her willingness to talk openly about the themes she thinks about and how they become part of her writing, her enthusiasm about connecting with other writers, and her extreme dedication to her readers even with many personal real life challenges. (FF.net page here.) 

@madame-alexandra, one of the first fanfic writers whose kept me returning again and again to an MC and finally forced me to share my thoughts in the form of a review because I was too obsessed. (And who therefore made me into the kind of reader who reviews!) I also admire the way she takes care of herself and her ability to write by setting her own boundaries and limits with what she’s able to do and engage with. I loved the fic she gifted me with this year, and am just overwhelmed (in a good way) by the varied content she produces so consistently. (FF.net page here.)

@onwardintolight whose dedication to working quietly on The Opening behind-the-scenes until enough is finished and it is consistent enough that she’s ready to start posting it again is something I appreciate regularly without her knowing it. :) It is hard to be a fanfic writer who does not post very much, especially when writing a whole multichpater that people can’t see recent progress on. I admire @onwardintolight, adore The Opening, can’t wait for more, and appreciate her lyricism and attention to psychological detail. And admittedly, she is an amazing cosplayer! (FF.net page here.)

@ashlynncoy‘s Misfire ‘Verse is a stand-out for sure, especially for . those of us who love Bail and Breha Organa and imagining them interacting with Han. However, I also hold a special place in my heart for writers and stories who can allow or give Han or Leia previous romances, especially in a way that deepens or strengthens their relationship with each other, and she stands out to me as someone consistently able to do this (and who does it repeatedly despite attracting a lot of ugliness for it). (FF.net page here.) 

@followfire who does not think of themselves as a writer (although they are a great reader!) but who nevertheless gave us this. I know you have fic ideas, and I hope you will write more, if it will bring you joy to do so!

@not-a-committee I’ve never stopped thinking about this. 

@corellianangel’s consistent creativity is also full of delights. Still thinking about General Distraction tbh. (AO3 here, but she’s another one with many Tumblr-specific gems!) 

 @winterbythesea this continues to haunt me, in a good way.

@amilynh Her forays into writing, enjoyment of engaging in the psychological depths of Leia, and constant support as a beta and thinker of character and plots and things, as well as her Rebel fanfics, are impressive and I am grateful for them.  (AO3 page here.)

@chancecraz​ You’ve heard of her, and rightfully. There’s nothing I could add. Her writing is really something- the character work, the prose, the detail, the imagery- I recommend it!!!! (AO3 here.)

@alderaanallday You silent gremlin, I see you. :) You may write only under extreme duress, but my writing would not be the same without your beta work. I can’t emphasize enough how many times commenters have said “oh, I loved this detail!” and I have had to tell them, “Oh, @alderaanallday came up with that one!” I hope they believe me. ILY. 

@aloemilk, who is not part of the Han/Leia or Star Wars fandom (Luke Skywalker who?), but who is a great Romione writer and, and generally all around great person. Great companion as we walk this fanfic road. (AO3 here)

@fanfictionwriter101​ I’ve been really enjoying this (also non SW/non HL) individual and their commitment to that fanfic life. Enjoyed that they’ve started to offer some writing challenges too!

You all inspire in me in one way or another and help me tap into my own creativity. I admire each of your efforts and successes. I am privileged to be part of some of your creative processes. Thank you for being fanfic writers and for sharing your fantastical inner worlds with us! 

If you read any of these writers (and you should!) please, absolutely, positively thank them for writing by leaving them a comment or sending them a message to let them know you enjoyed their work! It’s the best way to feed a writer. :) 

[notbecauseofvictories]

How does Bail Organa deal with being dad to an angry baby quarter-eldritch-abomination?

“Well,” Breha began, and then stopped. She was sitting very straight and regal in her chair, the way she only did when her mind was a hundred parsecs away and moving at lightspeed.

Bail had always been amused by that, how his wife looked more attentive and composed when not paying attention to what was going on around her. But she’d told him all about her parade of different tutors, etiquette and comportment and a hundred things a merchant’s son had no need of knowing. He supposed a lifetime of preparing to be Queen of Alderaan gave one all hells of muscle memory.

“Yes,” Bail sighed. He crossed the room to the sideboard, where someone had very considerately refilled the decanter. “Drink?”

“Yes,” Breha said absently. “Something with a great deal of alcohol in it, I think.”

Bail snorted. She was clearly not as distracted as he assumed.

Evening had fallen over the Capital, painting everything in blue shadows. This early in the year, everything was snow and ice, even the broad main streets. A convenient enough excuse, when the Datu’s son—tripped and…slid accidentally into a wall, bloodying his nose, ears, mouth. And when the Princesa of Aldera, Leia Organa, bared her teeth at the Datu’s son’s and snarled, You are a cruel and heartless boy—

Well. The cold had been convenient for that too. You know these long winter months, Bail had said, forcing warmth into his voice, because the Datu was looking to him in confusion and thinly-veiled horror, clutching at his son even as blood streamed down the boy’s face. Everyone goes a little stir-crazy.

Bail sat down across from Breha, setting down her glass of cognac. She reached for it, but he couldn’t be sure whether she knew it—her eyes were faraway, and her spine was very straight. Bail was used to this, being the third or fourth thing on her mind; he didn’t mind being patient, waiting for her to circle back to them, their daughter.

“When you—” Breha fell silent, running her finger lightly along the rim of the glass. Bail sipped his liquor, composing a list of necessary munitions for the Rebellion in his head, waiting for her to continue. 

“When you told me that it was safer not to openly discuss our daughter’s origins, I assumed that was because Padmé had somehow made an enemy of the Emperor. A miscalculation that perhaps also led to her death. But that is not the only reason, is it?”

Bail sighed, setting his glass down. “No.”

“The Jedi, the handsome one I met at the—”

“Yes.”

“Ah,” Breha said. Her eyes were still far off, unfocused. “I see. And the edict that was issued, calling for the death of all affiliated with the Jedi Order?”

“Yes. It also remains in effect for any…future Jedi that might arise.”

Bail straightened up when Breha’s gaze flickered, and met his. He smiled bitterly, tipping his glass to her as thought calling a toast. “You see my conundrum,” he said, not bothering to keep the irony from his voice.

“You said Obi-Wan escaped the destruction of the temple,” Breha said slowly. “He could—instruct her, teach her to contain it. At least enough so we don’t have further incidents like today’s.”

“We would be putting ourselves and all of Alderaan at risk. The Emperor’s enforcer, Darth Vader, is said to have a special hatred for him—I think they fought on another in the wars.”

Breha nodded, and Bail watched as she lifted the glass to her mouth, swallowed. She was a lovely creature, his wife, with a fearsome sort of mind; he liked to  watch her as it ticked over unerringly as any other piece of machinery. 

“Do you have a way to contact him more discreetly?” she finally asked. 

“Not—at the moment, but I know where he is. I’m sure I can come up with something. Why do you ask?”

Breha smiled triumphantly. There was a glint in her eye. “If you and I are going to raise a Jedi, husband, we’re going to need some guidance on the subject.”

.

“Oh, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Obi-Wan said, gazing in thinly-veiled horror at Bail. Bail had no idea why Obi-Wan had chosen Tatooine—other than the fact that it was possibly the furthest from the center of the galaxy you could get without going off the edge of a regulation star map. Bail supposed it was beautiful, in a sere, barren sort of way, though he personally didn’t enjoy the implicit promise of death that seemed to linger like a miasma over the sand. Bail had slept badly the night before, listening to some unknown thing screaming in the dark. 

Then again, if Kenobi truly was trying to stay off the Empire’s radar and away from Darth Vader’s wrath, no one would ever think to look here.

Bail squinted into late-afternoon sunlight. Officially, he was travelling through the Outer Rim as part of an outreach initiative by the Senate. Unofficially, he knew that most of his fellow senators believed he was visiting a mistress—more than one of them had congratulated him on slipping the grip of his formidable royal wife. (When Bail told Breha this, she’d mostly been flattered by the implication that if Bail wanted a mistress, he’d have to stash them all the way in the Outer Rim to avoid her.)

Actually, Bail was sitting beside Obi-Wan Kenobi outside a wattled hut, watching the sun set over the mesas and graciously pretending to drink the awful tea Obi-Wan had made for him. 

“Why not?”

Obi-Wan blinked. “The art of being a Jedi is complex and ancient—there are arcane secrets—it’s just not advisable,” he spluttered.

Bail huffed. “That is hardly a convincing argument.”

“Neither you nor Breha are Force-sensitive; you won’t even be able to tell if she’s doing it correctly. This is like a fish blithely announcing he plans to teach a starbird how to fly!”

“Well, give me the introductory level. Or whichever level involves teaching young Jedi not to assault people with the Force.”

Obi-Wan froze, his hand spasming around his own mug of tea. “Leia hurt someone?” he breathed, his face going shadowed and haunted. Bail frowned.

“Another boy; she was angry, and she choked him, bloodied his nose. The incident was embarrassing and—suspicious, if we’re trying to keep her existence a secret, but minor. We’re just worried, you needn’t look like someone has died.”

Obi-Wan shut his eyes as though pained, and a shudder ran through his whole body until he was almost doubled-over. “Obi-Wan?” Bail asked. “Are you—”

“You have a datapad?” Obi-Wan mumbled. Bail blinked.

“Yes.”

“Take notes.” Obi-Wan didn’t wait, and Bail scrambled to dig through his pack and grab the datapad and stylus before he got too far. “The first lesson any Jedi must learn—”

.

The first five lessons were a nightmare. 

“That was my great-grandmother’s favorite dining table,” Breha said mournfully as she and Bail watched the charred hunks of wood carried from the room. “It was a gift from one of the Queens of Naboo, in honor of the jubilee celebration of her reign.”

“We can ask Queen Raina for another one,” Bail offered. The guards bowed, and shut the doors behind them, such that it was just Bail and Breha alone in the study.

He could hear Leia’s sobbing from the next room. They hadn’t meant to scare her, or yell as much as they had, but it had been terrifying, a little girl with fire all around her and a look of unnatural peace on her face. Bail sighed. “This isn’t working.”

“Oh, I don’t know. Our daughter managed to somehow summon lightning from her hands, that seems like some sort of progress.”

Bail snorted. “In the wrong direction, I think. She’s supposed to learn restraint, not….I’m afraid she’s sliding further away, she’s losing control. Obi-Wan told me that many of the Sith were Jedi, once.”

“We cannot keep running to him,” Breha said with a sigh, leaning against the doorframe in a rare show of weariness. Bail realized with a start that there were lines, bracketing around her mouth, that had not been there only a few years before. “The Security Council has begun discussing a military installation on Alderaan, I will need to use every weapon in my arsenal to keep those—stormtroopers,” she ground out icily, “from our world. If there is even a hint—”

“What about Jedha?” Bail said, and Breha blinked. Then her expression transformed into something thoughtful, considering.

“I thought the temple there was destroyed.”

“It was. But the worshipers still come. And the Jedi Order was only one of the sects that revered the Force, at this point we may be safer to look outside the Core for aid.”

“Someone discreet,” Breha said, finally.

“Of course.”

“Someone—patient. And not afraid. I will not allow our daughter to grow up with her teacher fearing what she can do.”

“Of course not.”

Bail crossed the room to her, and with an indulgent smile, Breha allowed herself to be crowded against the wall, fitted herself into his arms; her hands finding the small of his back with familiar ease. Bail had been away too long; her hair smelled different, something floral that made his nose itch. “Do you ever wish I had brought you a simpler daughter?” he murmured, and he could feel her laugh.

“There are no easy children,” Breha murmured. “I would rather simply love ours. Now bring her someone who will teach her how not to burn the galaxy down around her.”

Privately, Bail doubted there existed anyone who would make Leia Organa less incendiary—but at least they could make it less literal.

.

(“Everyone says of all the Guardians of the Whills, you are the most learned, and faithful. You remember the old ways,” Bail said.

“I sympathize with your plight,” Chirrut Îmwe said, setting his own teacup down. Malbus, standing in the doorway and casting a long shadow, grunted; a smile flickered across Chirrut’s mouth in response. “But as long as there are pilgrims to the Holy City, we must stay, and defend her.”

Bail exhaled, and thought of shining Aldera, in the mountains, where the air was thin and cold and bright. Where his daughter could make the air burn, and his wife ruled the world. “I understand,” he said. “Thank you for your time.”)

.

Later—much later, when neither Jedha or Alderaan could be defended any more, and Obi-Wan was nothing more than another nexus of brightness in the Force—Leia was watching her brother.

“I remember this,” she said suddenly.

“What?” Luke asked, cracking open an eye. “Do you mean remember, or—remember, like our mother?”

“We have to come up with a better term for that,” Leia sighed. “And no, I actually remember this,” she added. “One of my tutors, Mistress Draight. We used to do breathing exercises and control exercises, and…I always just thought it was mindfulness. I had a lot of tutors,” she said with a shrug.

“You had Jedi lessons?” Luke asked, opening his eyes fully and uncurling from his cross-legged meditation pose.

“I didn’t think they were Jedi lessons. No one ever said the word ‘Jedi’ and we never moved anything with the Force, or discussed lightsabers. It was just supposed to be calming. A way of establishing control.”

“Huh,” Luke said. “Did it help?”

“I—think so? My mother used to joke about the time I set my great great-grandmother’s table on fire, but I always assumed it was because my sleeve caught on the candle,“ she mused.

Luke laughed, hooking his hand in the loose fabric of her dress and pulling her forward until his legs were tangled hers. “Okay,” he said, touching his forehead to hers. “Show me what you got.”

Leia grinned.

[jomiddlemarch]

One should never be cured of one’s passion

“You call out her name in your sleep, you know,” Leia said into the rented darkness of the rented room. It was an apartment on Coruscant and they both hated it, except it was their first home together and there was a sketch of a branch of ladulum hanging over the empty hearth in place of the one an Alderaanian courtier would have placed there if there were Alderaanian courtiers left or ladulum. The bed was wide enough for them both, wider than his bed on the Falcon, but not overly large. They found their way to each other every night, even when Leia faced the open window and he lay with his head pillowed on his own forearm.

 “What?”

 “Qi’ra. You call out her name,” Leia said. She didn’t sound angry or even jealous, though the former would have been understandable and the latter flattering. She sounded tired, a little curious, and sad and if she hadn’t been talking about his ex-lover, Han would have rolled over right away and taken her into his arms, nuzzled his way through her loose, silky hair to the nape of her neck.

 “M’sorry,” he mumbled. What else could he say to his wife?

 “Don’t be. That’s not why I mentioned it—I thought, you miss her, you might want to talk about her while you’re awake,” she said. He’d tried to get her to talk about Alderaan, about Bail and Breha, and at least she hadn’t snapped at him, just shaken her head.

 “Was a long time ago,” he said.

 “That doesn’t matter. When you love someone that much, the time doesn’t make a difference,” she said. Now he did reach for her but tentatively, a hand stroked down her bare forearm, catching on the scrap of silk she called a night-shift, the silk of her thigh.

 “I don’t miss her,” he replied, deciding to tell the truth.

 “You love her,” Leia said, with that slightly eerie tone he associated with her accessing the Force. He frankly thought she had greater powers in that department than Luke, who strained and worked at his midichlorian mumbo-jumbo while Leia simply knew things, moved, arranged events, situations, found her way into his dreams. The nightmares—of Corellia, of the carbonite, she evened out so they weren’t torments, something he could never do for her.

 “I loved her. Past tense,” he said.

 “No, still. I can hear it, the way you say her name. Like you can’t believe she’ll never come back, like you’ll always be hoping,” Leia said.

 “I don’t. I’m not hoping for anyone but you, sweetheart,” he said. He had no idea how to let down whatever barriers kept one person from another but she never had much trouble breaching them.

 “You know I’ll always come back. That I’ll never leave. That makes the difference,” Leia said. She was sleepy, he could hear it, not in any slurring but in the faint shift in her accent to the Alderaanian dialect she’d learned as a child, the softening of the consonants, the liquidity of the vowels. Lando had spoken in it to her once and Han had not missed the way her eyes had filled with tears, had hardened like jewels.

 “I do. I don’t want her, Qi’ra. Only you,” he said.

 “It’s all right. I know, you don’t have to convince me. Just yourself,” she said, turning over suddenly and kissing him, a soft, open, dirty kiss he could never have imagined the Princess would give him. She arched up against him and for an instant, she was Qi’ra, her full breasts pressed against his bare chest, her dark unbound hair everywhere the way darkness was everywhere on Corellia. Just an instant, because he heard her voice within his mind then, murmuring Leia, only me, a communion no one else had ever been capable of and everything between them was bright and exquisite and charged, and Qi’ra was lost, gone, beyond hope, beyond the hope of hope. There was only Leia, only the Coruscant night and the shimmer of the Force instead of moonlight, the ghostly glassy scent of ladulum drifting through the open window.

[serceleste]

Well, considering you think Poe and Ben are interchangeable aside from skin color, I think it’s safe to say who doesn’t actually care about Poe here. You only care about Poe and his ‘heritage’ when it suits your agenda of fandom policing and harassment.

The idea that I am only writing about Poe as a substitute for Ben is so laughable I can’t even. If I wanted to write about Ben, I would just write about Ben – and I do! My works list is filled with Ben and Kylo fics! I have at least half a dozen WIPs in my file featuring him! I literally do not give a FUCK what fandom thinks I should care about or thinks I should write; I have always and will continue to write what interests me, regardless of what anyone says. Writing is a hobby and as such I put my effort into characters and ships I love, and I try to treat them all with care and respect. I’m not sure what “consequences” you think I am afraid of; I’ve had negative comments, I’ve had trolls like you harassing me and making ludicrous accusations, and I’m still gonna continue to write what I want. Considering how many months you’ve spent trolling me without getting me to stop should probably have clued you in on that. I will ship things harder out of spite, and thus produce more content. So… congrats? I’m working on something right now, I hope you fucking hate it.

Poe’s heritage is that he was raised on a colonized moon by a pilot and a soldier. He lived on a ranch with a Force tree in the yard and his mother taught him to fly in her A-wing. That is all the canon info we have. Believe me, I have read every bit of tie-in material that exists about Poe, because I love him as a character. He is played by an actor of Latino heritage, that much is true, and his parents, as drawn in comics canon, are correspondingly darker-skinned, but culture as we understand it does not exist in Star Wars. Star Wars is not Earth. Our countries do not exist there. Our cultures do not exist there. The Star Wars universe has had intergalactic space travel for tens of thousands of years, with all the intermarriage and mingling of races that that would create. Attempting to equate that with Earth is frankly ludicrous. Star Wars is not even Star Trek, where there was a more clear-cut difference between planets and races and cultures.

Can a writer draw from Oscar Isaac’s immigrant background and use that to tell a meaningful and enriching story about Poe? Absolutely. If you can, and that interests you, go for it. But it’s not actually canon, so if a person doesn’t write Poe that way they aren’t doing anything wrong, and when done incorrectly it is only stereotypical and borderline offensive. Making Poe constantly eat tamales to make sure we all know he isn’t white isn’t actually a great story-telling technique.

Racism as we know it does not exist in Star Wars. Again, all that co-mingling and space travel. Even the Empire didn’t care what your skin color was – they only cared if you were human or alien. Representation is absolutely important and we as viewers want to see people of all kinds in Star Wars, but the actual characters do not care what you look like and making it an issue is creating a problem that does not exist in the universe as written. Skin color to them is utterly unremarkable, in a way that we as a society are still a long, long way from achieving. We should aspire to be more like the people of Star Wars, rather than try to bring them down to our level.

Fandom is meant to be fun, and if people want to draw from their own cultures in writing a character like Poe, that is absolutely fine. Please do! Latinx kids never got to see someone who looked like them in Star Wars before characters like Bail and Poe. That’s an amazing thing. I hope Poe is important to people because I think he’s a wonderful character. However, drawing attention to his race entirely for the sake of drawing attention to his race isn’t actually progress; it’s a step back. Oscar Isaac is Latino; Poe Dameron is not. ‘Latin America’ does not exist in the Star Wars universe. In Star Wars it matters only that he is human. We don’t even know what planet he is from, or what planet(s) his parents were from. (The only thing we do know, really, is that Shara Bey is not from Alderaan – her canonical first meeting with Leia in Shattered Empire would have gone differently if she were.) He grew up on Yavin 4 – which, yes, was filmed in Guatemala, and because of that Oscar Isaac thought it would be cool if that’s where Poe was from, and it is a cool character detail that I 100% enjoy – but he wasn’t born there, and Yavin 4 has no definitive culture because it was colonized after the fall of the Empire. Families from all over the galaxy came to settle there and begin new lives, bringing with them their own cultures, making it a mish-mash of everything, which is a lovely thought. Poe would have grown up surrounded by all sorts of lifeforms, which doubtless helped shape the compassionate, accepting person he is.

I am also sort of amused that somehow this became an accusation of white-washing Poe when the only thing I disputed was the canonicity of Alderaan as ‘Latinx-coded’. Which continues to be FANON, NOT CANON. Many houses of Alderaan besides House Organa were composed of other races, white and black. But, you know, if you want to ignore that, the current canon is far from giving you the answer you want. Queen Breha – the actual queen, btw, Bail is her consort by marriage, but fandom largely ignores her utterly in favor of Bail – was played by an actress who is not, in fact, Latina; she is of Spanish, Filipino, German, and Australian descent, but that is never mentioned. Captain Antilles of Alderaan was played by multiple white actors. EU character Evaan Verlaine as drawn is particularly blonde and white-appearing. Claudia Gray, who has written three official tie-in novels, uses Tom Mison (white) as her face-claim for the Alderaanian character she created, Nash Windrider. As mentioned before, the amount of intergalactic travel for such an immense length of time, in addition to the fact that Alderaan was often a haven for refugees, makes the idea of a mono-racial planet ludicrous, which current canon agrees with. I am frankly uncomfortable with the way fandom seems to want to segregate all characters played by Latinx actors to one planet, as well as the incredibly generic ‘Latin America’ way it’s often done, as though those countries don’t all have distinct cultures of their own.

I am never going to tell anyone they can’t use their own cultures in their fannish creation. If Latinx fans want to play with the idea of Alderaan as a Latinx planet, please go for it. Fandom should make you happy. As much as I love seeing non-white faces in Star Wars, it will mean an immeasurable degree more to them. When I first saw the ‘space Latinx’ trope, I thought it was kind of awesome, honestly. I have only become disillusioned with the way I have personally witnessed it portrayed, and the corresponding drama attached to it. But no one is obligated to please other people with their creations, and everyone has the ability to scroll past what doesn’t interest them. I am only objecting to the conflation of fanon to canon, and the original suggestion I disagreed with, which was that Alderaan was destroyed because it was Latinx-coded, which is just blatantly false. (As is the accusation that Cassian was killed off because his actor is Latino, in a movie where the entire point was that everyone died. EVERYONE. And Shara Bey? I love her, but ‘dead parents’ is a hugely trope-y and common convention for hero characters. Honestly Poe is a rare commodity in that he had a loving, normal, happy childhood, with one parent still living.)

Anon troll, I know you don’t actually care about anything I have to say and I know you can’t be reasoned with or listen to logic. I know that you are simply latching onto the newest thing you can think of to attempt to scare me off, and that you have never actually read a word of what I’ve written, which is obvious from all of your attacks. I just don’t like stupidity or meanness, hence this post. I hate drama! I really do! I’m in fandom to have fun. I’m not aiming to offend anyone and I fully believe in a ‘don’t like don’t read’ policy, in all its applicable uses – no one has the right in fandom to tell someone they can’t write what they want or ship what they want, despite what you seem to think. But I’m not going to be intimidated by a random anonymous online troll.

And above all, as my friend put it, IT’S SPACE AND IT’S FAKE. If you put a portion of the effort you put into harassing strangers on the internet about fictional characters into crusading for actual real world problems, something might change. Lord knows there are enough terrible things going on to choose from.

Now, kindly fuck off. Did you know that Tumblr lets you block anons? Because I do. And you’re blocked.

[radioactivepeasant]

Glimpses II

Another moment in the “Imperial Problem Child” series

2. Mourning Dove

The night was warm in the foothills. A gentle breeze brought the whispers of the trees and the soft chatter of night birds washing over the balcony, A soft puff of air stirred a strand of hair free from Leia’s face and left the candle on the bench before her guttering. She shifted on her knees and reached out, shielding the flame with her hand. 

It was a small white candle, barely a nub now. She’d found it among effects her father -- the only man she could ever think of as her father -- had left behind at Yavin 4 in his haste to warn Alderaan that there would be no peace. It was an Alderaanian wax, a simple, unadorned thing meant for religious or cultural ceremonies with its fellows: white for joy and weddings, black for sorrow and funerals, red for shame or atonement, blue for births and families. All the more precious for the hands it had passed through. Now it was used to mourn the planet that had made it.

Leia knew this would likely be the last use of it she had, and that broke her heart. She pressed her lips firmly together, not even trusting herself to recite the funerary poem she had spoken the last three years she had done this. She was conflicted on this night, more than she could remember being in a very long time.

In the manor house behind her, key members of the Rebellion were still meeting with Vader and his crew. The very idea made her skin crawl. It all but screamed “trap”. And yet there was no blasterfire, no screaming, no heavy sense of death. Her people were making a deal with the devil, but so far it was paying off.

There was, admittedly, a small corner of her soul that wanted answers -- or perhaps, more accurately, demanded satisfaction for the wounds it bore. But Leia would not ask. She refused to. Whether Darth Vader knew the truth of her parentage or not had no bearing on their temporary truce, she told herself, and certainly had no bearing on the way she conducted herself. Had her parents known? When Bail had brought her home and laid her in Breha’s arms, had they known they were promising to cherish and adore the offspring of a monster? Leia knew in her heart that even if they had known, it would have made no difference to them. She was their daughter and they had loved her.

But if they had known, did that mean they had known about Luke as well? This was the source of most of her inner conflict. Leia could not bear the thought of her parents consciously choosing to take her and leave her brother behind, separating a pair of twins. She preferred to think that the situation must have been like that of Luke’s aunt and uncle, handed a baby with little explanation or room for negotiation. But she couldn’t help grieving for a childhood lost, even as she grieved for Alderaan this night.

The breeze grew stronger, as if in answer to her turbulent emotions. The tiny candle flickered, then went out. “No!”  Leia cupped her hands around the wick, hoping to preserve even the faintest glow, but it was too late. To light it again would be to use it up utterly, beyond all salvage.

A pang of loss tore at her, a distant, dulled echo of the sorrows she had come to mourn. She resolved that she would not cry, not for sadness and not for frustration, as there were enemies present. But her eyes misted over as she leaned forward to press her forehead against the cool stone of the bench, one hand still curled around the candle. But the flame was out and she would not continue without it.

Then, in a further affront to her private ceremony, the harsh wheezes of a respirator began to echo out over the stone and into the trees. Despite her instincts screaming don’t turn your back, don’t ever turn your back on him, Leia kept still, pretending to ignore him. Surprisingly, he broke the silence first.

“You have been gone for some considerable time, your highness.”

“Don’t pretend that you care.” Leia did not bother to raise her head. A sense of warning like an electric shock ran up her spine, and then heavy fabric brushed against her arm. Leia made an ungainly lurch to the side, snatching her bit of candle as Vader bent over the bench.

“Don’t touch that!” she hissed, holding the stub protectively to her chest, ignoring the warm wax dripping over her hands.

Vader simply looked at her for a moment, then took something from beneath his cloak and placed it on the bench. He halfway raised one hand, as if about to say something, then let it fall again. 

“The woman who once lived in this house was a close friend of Luke’s m-- of your mother,” he remarked, seemingly apropos of nothing. Evidently he was having as much trouble adjusting to the truth as she was. “Before she lived on Raxus, the woman was a senator for Onderon. She came into contact with the... Organas...more than once.”

He turned and began to walk away. Leia shifted out of her wary crouch and pulled herself up onto the bench to see what had been left behind. A stragnled gasp escaped her as she scooped the items up.

Two candles, one white, one black, made from Alderaanian wax. A wedding candle and a mourning candle. Both had been used at least once.

“If you use the veranda in the gardens,” said Vader, standing at the doorway with his back to her, “The wind will be broken by the hedges. You can still set the candles to face the southern mountains there.” Then, before Leia could wonder why he knew anything about old Alderaanian customs, he had gone back inside.

After a moment’s debate, Leia scooped up her candles -- tucking the tiny, precious remainder of her original candle into her belt -- and relocated to the gardens. As reported, the veranda did indeed provide a shielded place while still facing open foothills -- not quite the mountains, which she would have faced while mourning back on Alderaan, but close enough. 

As Leia set the black candle up, resolving to keep the white candle for her own wedding, her fingers brushed some residue already on the stone railing. Confused, she drew her hand back and examined her fingertips. Someone had already lit candles here, and recently. The wax was red.

Leia turned and looked back up at the house, then down at the candles in her hand, and wondered what it all meant.

[renegade-skywalker]

Do you think that Leia has a lot of self-hatred since she is the daughter of Darth Freaking Vader, the most feared man of the galaxy? Do you picture Leia blaming and cursing Anakin for everything that went wrong in her life? Do you think Leia hates herself for sharing similar traits with Anakin? Does she scream at his force ghost everytime he shows up? And if Leia could go back in time, do you picture her killing her father for the good of the galaxy and to have Padme, Bail, Breha and Han back

Bless you, anon, bless you… but also curse you for making me feel all of the feels. This is such a loaded question so I’ll try to go point by point. 

As for the first, I think Bloodline covers this topic fairly well. For those of you who have not read the book (first of all, please do, but second of all) *SPOILER ALERT*: a political rival finds something of Bail Organa’s meant for Leia which essentially reveals her true parentage, that the secret of Leia’s biological father was kept secret because he is none other than Darth Vader. As we know, when Luke tells Leia that she’s his sister on Endor, she can also assume that Vader is also her father, since Luke has just revealed that as well. She does not seem to elicit much of a reaction on that front, but instead evokes more of her mother. Like Padmé convincing Anakin from plummeting over the edge and into complete darkness on Mustafar, Leia pleads with Luke to just run away. This is not so much a cowardly act as much as Leia suddenly fearing for Luke, someone she’s come to love and care for even before she learned they were related, let alone the fact they were twins. It’s funny, in retrospect, that Luke asks her if she remembers her mother in this moment, but I know Lucas hadn’t thought that far ahead at that point…

We could say that Vader is responsible for taking away everything that Leia has ever held dear, but this is not exactly accurate. For freezing Han in carbonite and sending him to Jabba, yes. For torturing her on the Death Star, double yes. But for the destruction of Alderaan, the death of her people, her mother, her father? The one who raised her? Not quite. That was Tarkin, and while Vader stood by and watched, I feel that he was not entirely responsible for that loss, but he was still complicit. He was present, he was at her back when it happened, reminding her that there was no escape, that there was nothing left for her now, that she should just give up the rebels and abandon the rebellion all together. When it’s revealed that Vader was her father on a galaxy-wide scale, what Leia feels most, I think, is closer to shame than anger, or at least something like shame. Leia is self-aware enough to know that she’s a difficult person, that’s she’s one tough cookie, but also that she’s quite an angry person and not someone to be reckoned with. Even the cool thing she’s known for, even if it’s straight up murder, is the slaying of Jabba the Hutt. Despite the situation she was in and the slavery, the act was not a diplomatic one. She’s a politician. No matter how justified any of her actions are or were, she has to deal with the possibility that any political contemporary (especially an opponent, in this case) can spin her actions in such a way to suit their needs and their narrative. With the fact that Vader is her father being public knowledge, Leia feels like she is somehow responsible for everything he’s done. Luke doesn’t ever have to worry about that. He’s not exactly in a position to be judged. He can forgive his father and choose to believe there was good in him, but Leia only sees the bad. She’s only ever seen and experienced the negative, both while Vader was alive as well as nearly twenty years later.

Now, this is where I’d really like to point out that Leia is a lot like her father, but when I say that, I mean both of her fathers. Leia is as much Anakin’s daughter as she is Bail’s, and I think it’s important to make that distinction. I feel like where she’s quick to anger like Anakin, she uses it for good. She pours her heart and soul into the rebellion, and her aggression comes out there. In the Princess Leia comic, she’s widely dubbed as a “ice princess” because she doesn’t seem to care for the loss of Alderaan. This is where she’s different from Anakin, and dramatically so. Leia is able to channel her anger and aggression into something more productive, and in this case it’s the rebellion. Whereas it may have been overly obvious that Anakin was upset over something (re: after the slaying of the Tusken Raiders in Attack of the Clones) Leia masks her sadness with a fierce tenacity almost to the point of appearing unbothered. This isn’t exactly healthy, either, but it is far less destructive. Where Anakin felt trapped in the Jedi Order and taken for granted, Leia has an outlet, and like Bail, she chooses to do good when things are unfair or seem impossible. This is a sense of nobility Anakin lost, and while I don’t think Leia would be at all privy to this, she may at least differentiate herself from Vader by what she knows. She can find comfort and solace in her plight to do good, something she inherits from Bail as well as her birth mother, Padmé (which, again, I don’t think she’s even aware of).

OKAY. Now that being said, I don’t think Leia doesn’t feel any of the things you mentioned above. I think she is angry, and I think she does still hate Vader despite what Luke claims. Vader, good? She doesn’t see it, she doesn’t feel it, but it may be because the connection she does have with her father is through their temperaments. WherePadmé and Luke are more like water, Anakin and Leia are both like fire, and they are difficult to tame. Even if they were to somehow meet in person, with Anakin as himself and not Vader, I feel like they would only butt heads but only because they are so alike. I think Leia fears that these shared traits make her dangerous, and that she is only one step away from following the same path as her biological father… which is why I think any of the above would be negated the moment she realizes that this is exactly what is happening to her son. She understands the confusion, the fear, the sense of loss and being lost. She gets it, but it’s because she knows that she’s too much like Vader that she sends Ben away. (I feel like if Yoda had known Leia, he would have retracted his statement about Luke: “Much anger in him, like his father.” ) But I also think that it’s because of the fact that Luke forgave Vader that she sends Ben to train with him, and not just because Luke is trained in the ways of the Force. Whatever bitterness and anger she felt is altered when it’s her own son that’s endangered by the traits that made Anakin more like Vader, and it’s in thinking of her son that I think Leia is perhaps more open-minded in terms of Anakin’s inherent goodness. Once this is put in perspective, I think Leia evokes a lot of Padmé, but more so out of hope for the best rather than feeling it in her heart. She’s open to the idea of her horrible father being redeemed because she does not want to lose her son to same darkness.

As time passes, though, I think Leia may blame more of herself. As much like Anakin as she is, she’s still Ben’s mother and Han is his father, hence her plea for Han to bring Ben home in The Force Awakens. I was really hoping for an interesting interaction between Leia and Kylo, especially through the lens that they are both like Vader, but I now realize that if that doesn’t happen in The Last Jedi it likely never will, and I wouldn’t trust another character (other than maybe Luke) to talk about how Leia and Anakin were/are similar.

As if anyone wasn’t already aware, I clearly have all the Anakin/Leia feels and honestly I had a fic in the works since, like, idk January about Leia and Anakin/Bail and I may finally finish it because if this ask has answered anything, it’s that I like Star Wars way too fucking much.