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#(and yes i'm backing this up as i go...by which i mean i need to update my backup its more than a month back but i AM doing backups)
mandarinmoons · 2 days
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hi! i have an idea ive been thinking about for a while. spencer and the team (plus reader) are at a bar and reader goes off to get a drink/dance/talk to someone and either a girl or a group of girls come up to spencer and start flirting with him. the first thing she/they ask ofc is "do you have a girlfriend?" and spencer (not realizing they are flirting) is like yes!!! her name is _____ and she is amazing and i love her so much.... and he goes on like a 20 minute rant about reader. reader finally finds him talking to these girls/girl and has to recuse them/her from his ranting about herself and explain what they actually meant.
sorry that was a lot but i wanted to make sure understood what i was envisioning. thank you so much!!!
“Spence, please!”
Spencer kept pulling you closer as he tried to nuzzle his way into your neck and leave a few kisses behind your ear. He wasn’t one for PDA, but after a few shots he was puddy in your hands and everyone had to witness what a mess you made of him in this state.
“I just wanna be close to you,” you could feel him pout as his lips were pressed against your neck, his thumbs rubbing over your waist.
“Looks like you’re not getting out of here anytime soon, huh pretty girl?”
Derek chuckled as he took pleasure seeing his younger brother of a coworker finally have a girlfriend, especially with how clingy he was being at the moment. It was as if Spencer would follow you if you were to leave for only a minute, which he had done approximately half an hour ago when you excused yourself to go to the bathroom and somehow he still had enough brainpower to talk about how hand-dryers could actually spread more germs and not remove them. He’d even taken it upon himself to take some paper towels and dry your hands for you, making sure to even dry the spaces between your fingers.
You had had only one drink and you were not going home unless you had a second one. Spencer had already downed three in that time, and looking at the state that he was in, it was obvious that he wasn’t going to get served any more tonight.
“Spence, I'm going to get a quick drink, okay? Stay here.”
Prying his hands off of you, you quickly slipped out of Spencer’s grasp before he managed to put his hands on your waist again.
A few minutes later, Penelope pulls Derek to the dance floor while Emily comes across an old friend and excuses herself to have a word with her, leaving Spencer all by himself at the booth, his tongue sticking out from the side of his mouth while fidgeting with his fingers. He was too deep in thought that he didn’t notice a group of girls come over and sit next to him, their intentions clearly not innocent.
“Hi! You’re here all alone?”
“Oh, I’m not! I’m here with my girlfriend and team mates!”
“I don’t see any girlfriend around.”
“She went to get a drink. Oh, she loves an aperol spritz, she’s got great taste, in general not just in drinks.”
The girls watched in amazement as Spencer kept talking about every small thing he could come up with about you, from your favorite color and the psychological meaning behind it to your Myers Briggs personality type and how you’re both compatible.
As the endless line at the bar finally came to an end and you managed to get your drink, walking back to the team’s spot you noticed the unfamiliar girls surrounding Spencer and your stomach churned in nerves. The closer you got however you noticed their bored and confused faces and that’s all you needed to know that Spencer had most probably pulled his book smarts out on them and left them speechless.
“Oh and this one time- Y/N, you’re back!”
Spencer pulled you in for a hug, nearly knocking the drink out of your hands. Managing to put it down on the table, you rested your hand on his back as you turned your attention to the strangers, them clearly on the edges of their seats and ready to bolt at any moment.
“We’re gonna go, nice to meet you both.”
Your eyes followed them as they quickly got up and made their way to the other side of the bar, even from a distance you could see the red hue on their cheeks, embarrassment written all over their faces.
“Spence, what did they want?”
“They came over and asked if I had a girlfriend.”
“That’s it?”
Spencer nodded as he nuzzled into your stomach, “And I talked about how great you are and how I’m going to marry you one day.”
Laughter erupted from your mouth as you heard the answer, also because of Spencer’s fingers practically digging into your sides that it was tickling you.
“Sweetie, I don’t think that’s what they meant by that.”
“What do you mean?”
“Usually when someone asks “Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?”, it’s their way of asking “Are you single?”
Spencer blinked his eyes, your words not yet registering in his head.
“They were flirting with you.”
“Oh… really?”
Nodding along, the conversation was put on halt as everyone made their way back to the table.
“You guys had to leave him alone, huh?”
“Why? What happened?”
“Some girls came up to Spencer and tried to hit on him.”
“Oh, pretty boy’s got game now, huh?”
The team chuckled, but Spencer kept burrowing his head more into your embrace. It was clear that no matter how many girls tried their luck with him it would inevitably fail, as you were his home that he would come back to every time.
You can find my masterlist here!
Let me know your thoughts in the comments and like & reblog to support <3
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thewertsearch · 1 day
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I'm sure he wants Slick to kill her - but Scratch has this all planned out, right down to the second, and it's not quite time for this.
Slick is supposed to kill her, but he can't do it until all the dominoes have been set up.
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Now that's a goddamn resurrection.
It's arguably flashier than John's original ascension, which makes me wonder if he's going to be more powerful after coming back a second time.
AG: Still not alive yet? Man. AG: You 8etter hurry up! She pro8a8ly doesn't have much time left. AG: Trust me, what she's going through on Derse right now isn't much fun. […] AG: You have to wake her up! 8reathe some life into her. Do the windy thing, with your lips!!!!!!!!
I think this is our first successful resurrection kiss since Hivebent.
...I mean, I certainly hope it's successful, and I don't see why it wouldn't be. Rose is probably fine, now - but she no longer has a backup body to deliver the Tumor. I guess you're up, Dave.
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That's awfully intimate for a murder attempt, Slick.
I guess Kismesissitude can bloom, even on a battlefield. Especially on a battlefield, come to think of it.
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AG: Gotta kiss her. AG: Don't worry, I still can't see you, so there is no reason to 8e 8ashful or anything. AG: And since we are a couple of professionals here who are focused on winning, we 8oth know it doesn't have any meaning. AG: It's not l8ke I would 8e jealous even if I could see. AG: Why wo8ld I 8e? AG: Or may8e that didn't even cr8ss your mind…….. haha. AG: M8n, why am I ev8n t8lking a8out th8s.
I'm actually not sure if John's reading these messages as Vriska's sending them, or if he's seeing them all after her death. Probably the latter, just for the sake of maximum tragedy.
Either way, I think it's very telling that John's not even trying to respond. His dad's dead, he just died, the whole world is ending, and he's finally lost the ability to be casual about it. Look at his face!
Yes, he'll read his messages, just in case they're important. Yes, he'll do what needs to be done to save Rose's life. But he's not in the mood to shoot the shit with Vriska - even though, unbeknownst to him, it's the last chance he'll ever get.
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miloformula123fan · 3 days
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Hey! Could you do fic about Fernando Alonso x baker!reader from prompt? Tag me later! Thanks
of course darling. im so sorry it took me this long to get it out for you <3
Please keep requesting - y'all have awesome ideas we agree on a lot of stuff :) - my guidelines are here, and if you want some prompts, they are here.
also feel free to come in and start chatting to me in my asks, would love to get to know y'all better
and if you want to be added to my taglist lmk :)
and my masterlist is here <3
fernando alonso x baker!reader
“Hola, welcome to pan y amor, what can i get for you?”
“Your number?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Oh are you taken, my apologies. ”
“...no I’m not taken, just wasn’t expecting you to be so bold. How about you buy something and if you like it you can have my number and take me on a date?”
“I am not usually this bold, I apologise. Okay then, what would you recommend, mi sol?”
“Well, I mean, I have to recommend our natillas de leche, unless your allergic to something in them, then I’d try and think of something else.”
“Not allergic, though if my trainer heard how many of these I was eating.”
“Trainer huh?” as Y/N passed over the natillas. “so , you’re an athlete?”
“F1 driver, Fernando Alonso” he held over his hand to shake, after paying “i’m from here, so I like to come in and spend time with the locals”
“Oh, well I’m not the biggest f1 fan, but I’m sure happy to help the locals, maybe you could introduce me to F1.”
---
“Darling, I’m trying to make some brownies before the bakery opens, you cannot come in here and distract me.”
“Can I make something to help?”
“Do you swear that you will follow my instructions to a T?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Okay, you can make some caramel slices. You need to grab almond meal, vanilla protein powder, rice malt syrup, coconut oil, peanut butter, and dark chocolate, did you understand that?”
“Yes chef!”
“Okay good. It needs to go in the fridge, and then you can work on the strawberry lemon scones and then when i'm working on the tiramisu you can work on the orange loaf.”
“You’re telling me that when i rock up before my girlfriend officially starts work to hang out with her, all that happens if I have to do unpaid work.”
“Well i can’t pay you a f1 driver wage, because i can’t afford it and also you are not an f1 driver equivalent baker. I don’t even know if it’s worth giving you these ingredients for fear that I cannot sell what you make.”
---
“Okay, welcome back to pan y amor, as you know we in Cogollo, are massive f1 fans, so we have made some pumpkin cream cheese muffins to celebrate Fernando’s 33rd win. We had a little birdy tell us that this was his favourite flavour, so here’s how we make it, as always the full recipe will be on our blog y si quieres ver esta receta en español, ve a nuestro perfil, donde repasamos exactamente la misma receta, pero en español, para que todos nuestros fans de habla hispana también puedan seguirla. We’ve started this recipe by preheating the oven to 175 degrees celsius, which is 350 degrees fahrenheit for our American fans. 
And as my boyfriend gets in the way, the pumpkin cream cheese muffins are gonna be made slower. He loves this flavour so he’d better get out of my way so I can make the muffins, si, comprendo?”
“Comprendo, capitan!”
Bien, bienvenido de nuevo a pan y amor, como ya sabéis, en Cogollo somos grandes fans de la F1, así que hemos preparado unas magdalenas de calabaza y queso crema para celebrar la victoria número 33 de Fernando. Un pajarito nos dijo que este era su sabor favorito, así que así es como lo preparamos, como siempre la receta completa estará en nuestro blog and if you want to see this recipe in english, go to our profile, where we run through the exact same recipe, but in english, so all our english speaking fans can also follow. Comenzamos esta receta precalentando el horno a 175 grados centígrados.’
'Okay call me delusional, but was that Fernando in this tiktok?'
'Why is fernando voicing a random bakery’s tiktoks?'
'this bakery is in his home town, so maybe he knows them'
'WHY IS THE BAKERY OWNER SO PRETTY'
---
i am going to apologise now because I doubt this made sense :)
taglist: @leosxrealm, @pear-1206, @tallrock35, @wolf-knights, @janeholt3
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daydaydayrk420 · 1 day
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I don't need a sugar daddy
Logan Howlett (Wolverine) x male reader
⚠️Car sex, drunk y/n, dom bottom Logan, sub top y/n⚠️
🚨 Minors and girls do not interact 🚨
______________________________________________________________
Y/N. One of the richest men in this economy.
People call him Lucky. So rich at 25. Well, he has his grandfather to thank for that. But is he happy? No. Not really. Sure he can buy everything he wants. But does he have what a person really needs most?
"Don't let go, Jack..." The TV plays quietly as y/n is cooking in his kitchen. The wifi dropped out so he's stuck with cable. Lucky for him only romance movies seem to playing. What a way to rub it in. It's like TV knows he's single and lonely.
Y/n's a businessman. Meaning he goes to a lot of meetings. He also often goes to red carpets and whatnot, which means he frequently uses a limo.
Every time the same limo. Same driver.
Recently though. His favorite limo driver seemed to get worse in health and his car had bullet holes.
"Logan it's been two weeks and you still haven't fixed your car." Y/n said as he walked towards the limo. Logan just huffs and finishes his cigar. "If you need money you can just ask ya know." Y/n added. Logan opens his door. "I don't want a sugar daddy." He grumbled. The younger man just laughs. "That's not what I was suggesting. But I'm not opposed to it." He winks at the older man and sits in the car.
Logan's glad the younger man is already in the car so he can't see the faint blush appearing on his cheeks.
Another week goes by.
"Logan seriously what happened to your car? Just get it fixed and put the bill on my name." Y/n said as he handed Logan a check. Logan rolls his eyes and closes the back door of the limo. "I told you y/n. I don't want a sugar daddy." "You may not want one but you definitely need one." Y/n said and put the check in Logan's breast pocket.
"Take extra if you need. Fuck take enough to buy that boat of yours you keep checking on. Just don't lie to me. I know you need the money more than I do." Y/n said with a strict tone that made Logan's knees weak. Thankfully he's leaning on his limo so it's not visible.
Later that night Logan is picking Y/n up from the party he drove him to earlier. The younger man is obviously drunk. And seems to be in a good mood.
"Jeez. You look happy." Logan scoffs and helps the wobbly man into the car. Y/n giggles and runs his hand over the older man's chest. "But you don't. Maybe I should help?" He giggled. Logan rolls his eyes and sits him in the limo. He walks around the car. He stops by the drivers door and takes a moment to calm him mind.
It's not the first time he has seen y/n drunk. But every time the younger man seems to get more horny.
Once he mentally prepared himself he got in the car and turned it on. He looks into the review mirror briefly before he starts driving.
"Looogann" Y/n sang. The older man chuckles. It's starting. "loooogannn" the younger man laughs and walks towards the front of the limo. "Why aren't you responding Logan?" He giggles as he pokes his head through the small window separating them. Logan looks at him briefly and shakes his head. "Get back into your seat Damien." The younger man huffs but does as he's told anyway.
He goes back to the back of the car and flops down. He huffs and looks out of the window. "Play some music please."
The older man nods and turns on the radio. Y/n keeps staring out the window. Even when the car is on a red light.
Logan looks through the review mirror and watches how the younger man is doing. He doesn't want to clean up vomit from the carpet of his limo. He paused once he saw the bulge in Y/n's pants. Yes, whenever y/n is drunk and Logan is picking him up, he gets flirty, but he's never gotten a boner. And yes, he did have some people flash him here and there, but he doesn't mind.
But the fact that it's y/n that's building through his pants is... Exciting him. So when the light turns red he starts driving again. But he turns a different way.
"Hey slow down handsome, you missed our turn." Y/n said. "There was an accident on that road we gotta go around." Logan lied. The younger man shrugs and sits back. He's known Logan long enough to trust him. He knows he's lying of course. But he also knows that Logan lies when there's something for him.
Maybe he's noticed the boner in his pants. Y/n thinks to himself as he looks at the said boner. He gets an idea. The younger man looks up and keeps his eyes on Logan. He slowly starts to palm himself through his pants. He doesn't bother with hiding his moans. It's what he wants.
He wants Logan to hear him. To see him. Watch him.
So he reaches his hand into his underwear. That gets him to moan loudly and throw his head back. He's been so pent up all night that his body responds to everything. That moan catches the older man's attention. Logan looks into the mirror and practically freezes. Thankfully, they're on a red light, so there's nothing to worry about.
Y/n is sitting with his pants undone, legs spread as far as possible, head back, mouth open, and his hand steadily stroking.
A car honking from behind them snaps Logan out of his thoughts and focuses on the road again.
Y/n smirks. He pulls himself out of his pants and strokes faster. "Oh, Logan." He moans louder than before on purpose. He watches through the small mirror for any sign of the older man's reaction.
He can't see anything. But Logan is biting his lip until it bleeds and heals, and repeats. His pants are also getting tighter. Y/n lets out a huff and throws his head back. He keeps moving his hand in ways that make his mind spin.
Logan keeps glancing into the review mirror to watch the younger man practically melt into the leather seat. The longer he watches the tighter his pants get. He huffs and shifts in his seat. Logan tries his best to focus on the road but the moans from the back of the car keep distracting him.
The fact that the younger man keeps moaning the older man's name doesn't help.
"Ah fuck Logan!" Y/n cries out as his body shakes with orgasm. Logan's had enough. He makes a sharp turn towards an old parking lot which causes Y/n to fall to his side onto the seats.
"What was that about?" The younger man asks once the car is parked. But Logan doesn't respond because he's already out of the car, walking towards the back.
The younger man just watches in confusion. But the moment the door opens and there stands the older man with a very clear boner makes y/n's eyes widen.
Logan climbs in and shuts the door. He starts to undress. "Get on the floor." He ordered. The younger man visibly shivered and laid down. The older man scoffed and kicked off his pants. "So willing. How pathetic." He nutters. Y/n shiveres.
"Is this what you want? Hm? An old man to be your sugar baby? An old man that will use you for money and sex?" Y/n only moans in response.
"Well, technically, I'd be the one using you for sex -" "I don't care." The older man huffed at the sudden correction. The smaller man immediately closed his mouth and nodded.
Logan finally removes his boxers. Y/n's eyes widen at the big size that the older man has the burden to carry around. It's a shame that it's completely useless. Logan straddles the younger man and wastes no time to sink down onto the smaller dick. Y/n, in his drunken state, doesn't think about prep. All he can think about is tight, tight, tight. "Oh fuck" he throws his head back and lets his jaw drop into a silent scream.
Logan groans and rats his hands on y/n's chest for leverage. He starts to bounce. The car bounces and their moans are heard through the whole parking lot.
"Fuck, look at you. So wrecked by an old man riding you. Are you that desperate for me? All these months? Is this what you wanted?" Logan practically growled when the smaller man's nails dug into the flesh of his thighs. He sped up his bouncing. The car started creaking against the weight of Logan's constant movement.
Y/n whimpered as his hips started to go sore. Logan doesn't look it but he's heavy. Y/n doesn't know that the older man, who's riding him like a cowboy chased by a sheriff, is a mutant. So he has no explanation about his weight. But he's not complaining. He loves that he'll feel him tomorrow and maybe the whole week.
"You look so blissful. You haven't even cummed yet." The older man groans and shifts to different angles until he finds the right spot. Y/n only gives a sheepish and tired smile. Logan scoffs and leans back. Resting his hands by the smaller man's legs. He moans loudly once he finally hits that spot he was searching for.
He bounces harder. His cock slaps against his belly. Y/n watches the way it bounces. Logan is definitely the one with the big prize here but the fact that he's still the one who has his ass stuffed with a dick is so arousing for the smaller man.
"Logan, I'm close," y/n whines and arches his back. Logan groans and throws his head back. "Fuck y/n."
The younger man sits up and runs his hands over the older man's bare and arched body. He kisses every spot he can and marks it. But because of his drunken state, he doesn't notice how they heal almost instantly. The older man shivers. "Cum with me." He groans and uses one hand to grip onto y/n's shirt. Y/n whines and nods with desperation.
Logan lets out a couple of low grunts before he cums all over y/n's shirt and his belly. Y/n follows shortly after and spills into the other man. He holds his hips bruising tight to keep him in place. Their bodies shake from the intense orgasm. Y/n peppers the older man's chest as he pulls him to lie down. Logan hummed. Suddenly, a cold breeze flew through the car from the front window that had been left slightly open.
Logan shivers, considering he's the only one fully undressed. He doesn't know where his clothes are because he threw them around and is too lazy to search. Y/n notices the shiver and sits up. He removes his jacket and covers Logan with it. The older man smiles at the gesture. "Always a gentleman huh?"
The smaller man smiled as he laid back and pulled Logan close for warmth and urge to cuddle. One the older man got snuggled into the jacket he runs his fingers through the younger man's hair. They lay like that, with their eyes closed and soft smiles on their faces, for a while.
"I guess I could get used to having a sugar daddy." Logan hummed. Y/n snorts and buries his face in the chest of salt and pepper hair. Logan in return buried his face in the smaller man's hair and held him close. He threw one leg over his hip to be as close as possible.
"I think we should be more than a sugar relationship." Y/n murmures. "But I will still give you money when you need it." The older man chuckles at that.
"Alright rich Maggie. You won me over." "Finally." Logan laughs at the smaller man's instant reply. The younger man smiles and leans in for a kiss. The kiss is soft. Logan isn't used to soft kisses but fuck did it melt his heart.
"I should go and close the window. You'll freeze to death." Y/n sits up but he's pulled right back. "You're not leaving."
The younger man laughs and kisses the older man's shoulder a couple of times. "Logan the night is gonna be cold plus it'll be raining."
"....Fine." Logan lets go of the smaller man who heads towards the front. He closes the window and locks the door. He puts the heater on so they can get at least a little warmer before going to sleep.
Logan pulls him right back the moment the smaller man sits down. Y/n chuckles and lifts Logan's thing over his hip again so they can be in their previous position. "Didn't think you were this cuddly."
"People never do. They always say that a mutant like me is not a good man, a cuddler at that." Logan said before thinking. His secret is out. Y/n now knows he's a mutant.
"A what?!"
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Hiii!!! Love thy works!
If it's alright with you, may I please request Regina George x Reader?
Scenario: Every day, the reader comes to school with all sorts of bruises and injuries. Like, every single day. That's when, Regina finds out that the reader is part of an underground fight club to pay for their sickly mother's treatment because the reader is very poor.
Always Hurt
|| Regina George x nonbinary!reader
|| Warnings; swearing, little agnsty, reader's mother is sick, injured reader, short fic
|| Summary; reader was always hurt when they came to school. Always. Regina finally has enough and decides to ask them about it.
Requests open!
Started; September 19th
Finished; September 19th
~~~
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Regina was sick of seeing you with some new injury every day. Every time she laid eyes on you there would be some new bandage wrap added to your body. Today was her final straw when she saw the stitch just above your eye.
She walked right over to your locker, crowds splitting so she could get through. Regina cleared her throat to get your attention as her arms folded across her chest," What the actual fuck?"
You immediately froze. A million different scenarios ran through your head as you looked at your girlfriend, seeing the intense gaze she had on you. No, not on you. Well yes on you but focused on something just above your eyes. Then you remembered your stitches. Great...
"Regina-"
"I need names, Y/N." Her tone was just as demanding as that look in her eyes. You swallowed.
"Names..?"
"Who's been doing this to you?" She gestured to all of you. Which made you sigh.
"Technically, me." You stated as you pulled out your text book, then paused when you saw the startled look on your girlfriend's face and realized how that must have sounded," No, no. God. That came out wrong. I mean. I signed up for a fight clu-"
The words weren't even out of your mouth when Regina spoke," I'm sorry, what? FIGHT CLUB? ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY-"
This time you cut her off, cupping your hand to her mouth as you dragged her to the closest bathroom. She bit your hand which made you flinch and let go, shaking your hand slightly.
"Ow."
"Deserved." Regina scoffed," I can't believe how absolutely moronic you are. Joining a fight club? I can't express this enough, what the HELL?"
You grimaced as she raised her voice and tried arguing your side, but she just cut you off again.
"You better have a damn good reason, Y/N because I swear-"
"It's for my mom!" You kind of just blurted it out. Trying to let yourself be heard over Regina's rant.
Regina paused as she heard you and studied your expression, you looked like you were on the verge of tears. Which made her reel in just a little. She could tell you weren't lying to her.
"It's for my mom..." You repeated, your voice almost a whispered murmur now," she hasn't been doing great and this was the only job I could get that would actually pay what I need for her recovery and I-"
"Your mom's sick?" Regina asked, you nodded.
"She has been for a while."
Regina sighed and flicked your forehead, you swatted her hand away," You're still moronic. You could have come to me. I spend probably what you need on shoes alone." She rolled her eyes, arms back across her chest," my parents wouldn't notice if it was missing."
"You'd do that..?" You just stared at her. Trying your best not to cry.
"Well it's either that or watch you get your stupid ass beat. What do you think I'm picking, dumbass?"
You laughed a little, despite it all. Then pulled Regina into a tight hug, one that she was about to pull away from until she heard your sobs. She grumbled and gave your back a pat. Not being the best at comforting.
"Three, two..." She then started counting once the hug went on a little too long for her public comfort, you quickly let go. Understanding her boundary.
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it." She started walking out of the bathroom, with you following. She looked back at you," Seriously. Don't."
"Scared people will think you're soft?" You gave her a playful nudge.
"You're fucking stupid." She muttered.
"I love you too." You gave her forehead a kiss and she pushed you away from her, which made you laugh.
She really tries to act like she doesn't care.
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stellocchia · 3 hours
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Killer being incredibly touch-starved is something I've been thinking about for a while. We know very little about monster biology, let alone Killer's who's something in between, so I'm gonna base this on the effect of touch deprivation in the real world (which, yes, is a very real and highly studied thing. And no, the people using it as an excuse for why they're 'owed sex' are still full of shit, because to the human brain the kind of touch, as long as it's positive and well received, doesn't make a difference).
Killer, for his whole time with both Chara and Nightmare, is deprived of any positive touch. Nightmare stabbing him and forcefully manipulating his soul certainly doesn't count as positive, and most Chara did was cut him up for fun (and out of curiosity).
There is a chance for him to receive some affection in an expanded Nightmare's gang situation, as I refuse to believe that people stuck in such awful conditions together would not develop a certain degree of closeness. Still, they live under Nightmare, so they probably cannot afford to indulge in any form of comfort too much. And I don't doubt that, in such a tense situation, fights would also break out often. Meaning he'd most likely get more gaster blasters to the face than pats on the back.
With that out of the way, here are some of the symptoms Killer may experience:
Overwhelming loneliness
Strong cravings for affection
Feelings of depression
Anxiety
Heightened levels of Stress
Difficulty sleeping
Attachment avoidance patterns
He'd also most likely do things to emulate the feeling of touch like cuddling his cats a lot, laying under whatever heavy thing he can find, and taking hot showers/baths. After all, this is Killer we're talking about. These are a lot of feelings and uncomfortable sensations that are entirely out of his control, he's definitely gonna try and reign them in.
I do think that, of course, this would affect every Stage differently. And they'd probably go about dealing with it differently.
Stage 1 would have a conflicted relationship with touch. On one hand, it's hard for him to keep from showing the discomfort he's feeling due to the touch deprivation. On the other, he also always struggles with feelings of guilt regarding the fact that, in his mind, he put himself in this situation. He probably wouldn't think he deserves to feel better. And definitely wouldn't outright ask for a hug or to hold hands unless he was desperate.
He'd probably try to deal with it quietly. Probably running the shower as hot as it can get and hoping it gets rid of the itch in his bones. He has probably begged both Chara and Nightmare for affection before, though I doubt that ended well. I think Chara just pushed him away in Disgust, Nightmare probably made him regret asking.
I feel like later on with Color he's probably gonna need constant reassurances and frequent gentle reminders that he can ask for a hug whenever. And, if that feels like too much, he can sit close to Color, shoulder to shoulder. They can hold hands, and, when that feels like too much, they can interlock pinkies. There are ways for them to navigate around this. And I think Color would be happy to help from the get-go with him.
Meanwhile, with Stage 2 I've always felt like they probably dislike touch (something something they don't allow themselves to show any degree of vulnerability and never let go of control. Both things that would happen if they indulge in any amount of physical affection). To be clear, this does not mean that they're immune to the consequences of touch deprivation, it just means that dealing with them will be even harder for them.
During their time with Chara and Nightmare they'd probably use a lot of the good old "gaslighting themselves into thinking that everything is okay" method. Similarly to how they did with convincing themselves that they actually enjoy being hurt on the regular, eventually, they'd probably start believing it. Also, they'd be highly reliant on their cats if they have any around. Cuddling them does soothe a lot of the symptoms for quite a while, and those little balls of fur at least are not gonna backstab them.
Even once they're with Color, I still feel like Stage 2 would rather cuddle with animals than with other monsters or humans. They'd just be far more free to do so without the threat of Nightmare killing those little critters hanging over their head. Also! A lot of types of dance and stuff like theater can help stave off the touch starvation in a way that may feel more comfortable to them. In a lot of those situations, there's a ton of touch involved, but as they'd be able to remain professional about it, it would probably feel less like giving up control and showing weakness than the alternative of being physically affectionate with Color.
Stage 3 is an interesting one. I feel like it would be the most open to admitting (at least to itself) that they have an issue. However, to solve said issue would mean putting the body in danger and that's not something it's willing to do.
Still, it would try to mitigate the discomfort as much as it can. Trying to find soft things to wrap the body up tightly with. Trying to find small places where it can feel somewhat compressed. It would never try to ask either Nightmare or Chara for help. Ever. It hates them with a burning passion and, besides, it's fully aware that, whatever is wrong with them, is most likely the fault of those two.
It probably also would regard Color with distrust at first, but, eventually, as it comes to trust him, it probably would be more than happy to get some cuddles in with him. I do think its favorite thing would be to sleep all curled up around one another in whatever safe den it has built. And, of course, as it builds trust with more people, those people are gonna be let in too. Though that's gonna take time, because for Stage 3 to trust anyone, Stage 2 and Stage 1 have to trust them first.
Stage 4 my boy... it's suffering. Not only can it not remember any instances of kindness, however rare, the other 3 may have received, but it is also the one that would struggle the most receiving any kind of genuine help even after running away with Color. And, before that, it basically just gets treated like a dog. Though, no matter how much he'd want it, the treat for a job well done is never a hug or a pat on the head for it. Usually, it's just it being allowed some basic necessities like water, food, maybe even sleep if things went particularly well.
And it wouldn't try to soothe any of its needs by itself. Just like it doesn't eat, drink, or sleep if it's not explicitly allowed. If Nightmare or Chara wanted it to get a hot shower or some cuddles from its feline friends, they would have said it. Since they didn't clearly it's against the will of the Players, as they're the Players' mouthpieces. The same would go for Color not saying anything.
And, here's the thing, Color would struggle to show kindness to Stage 4 at first. Both because it starts off as hostile as it doesn't initially recognize him as an owner and because there is something fundamentally unsettling about a being so divorced from humanity and monsterkind wearing the face of his friend. Stage 4's biggest downfall is the fact that it is so other that even the kindest souls would struggle to not dehumanize it. It was created to be a tool and it doesn't recognize itself as anything more than that, so others often fall into the trap of doing the same.
Anyway, Stage 4 would straight-up weep the first time it gets a hug. And, seeing that, Color would undoubtedly feel like shit for ever thinking that Stage 4 wasn't just as lonely, hurt, and deserving of kindness as the other Stages.
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writingwithciara · 2 days
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still safe with me -matt sturniolo-
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summary: all matt wants to do is protect his girlfriend, even if it means fighting someone twice his size.
word count: 1.7k
pairing: matt sturniolo x reader
notes: wasn’t planning on writing a part 2 but @sarosfilms came up with an idea of how i could continue it. hope it’s good 😊 w: blood, david, language
y/n had been staying with the triplets for 3 months and every moment spent under their roof was like heaven to her. all 3 of them treated her well and did anything she asked. not much had changed.
she was still sleeping in matt's room, but he was staying in their with her. it started after the first month. after the first night, and the kisses, they were both scared to take their new relationship further so they agreed to stay friends.
but it was killing matt to stay away. all he wanted to do was hold her and keep her safe.
so, when the first month was over, matt walked into his room as y/n was getting to bed. he spilled everything out to her and she admitted she felt the same. they just wanted to hide it from the fans.
and they failed tremendously.
fans were onto them right off the bat. it didn't help that they were looking at each other way more than normal and chris kept cutting himself off more in their videos, almost revealing the secret.
so when more than a few fans commented on the looks they'd give each other, they decided to go public with their relationship.
which was good, at first.
it was good until david saw the hard launch of the relationship. he had known y/n was close to chris but she always told david not to worry about him. turns out, he believed he was supposed to be worried about matt the whole time instead.
david was friends with people who knew the triplets and nobody said a bad thing about any of them. but he hated matt and needed to know where he could find the guy. so he contacted one of their mutual friends. not knowing what was going on, the friend gave david the address.
"oh. this is going to be fun." david smirked and got in his car. he was a man on a mission.
at the triplets house, chris and nick were waiting for y/n and matt to get back from getting groceries since they were the responsible ones.
matt parked in their driveway and looked at y/n. "next time, we're bringing those idiots and they can go in to do all the shopping." he looked over the list chris gave them before they left. "some of these items are ridiculous."
"i know. but those were chris' additions to the list." y/n got out and opened the trunk. "also, do you really want to wait for chris to be responsible enough to shop for himself?"
"fair point." matt walked around and grabbed a few bags from the trunk. y/n grabbed the remaining 2 bags, that weighed next to nothing, and gave matt a look. "what?"
"these bags are so heavy, matthew."
"ever the dramatic one." he chuckled and looked at his girlfriend. "you got it?"
"yes matt. i'm just gonna grab my phone from the front seat and i'll meet you inside in a few minutes."
"okay." he kissed her head and carried the bulk of the groceries into the house.
y/n walked to the passenger door and set the bags on the ground. she opened the door and grabbed her phone. when she shut the door and turned around, she dropped the bags at her feet. "d-david? what are you.....how did you find me?"
"very carefully. and believe me. you were not easy to find."
back inside the house, nick was helping matt put everything away when chris came upstairs.
"you guys rock. you got everything i asked for."
"yeah. and it was a ridiculous endeavor. next time, i'll take you and you can shop yourself." matt smiled and tossed chris the weird snacks he requested.
"where's y/n? i want to get her to try these gummies."
"she wasn't too far behind me. should be in already." matt was starting to think the worst. "i'm gonna go check on her." he walked to the front door and opened it.
david had y/n trapped against the car and he looked like he was yelling at her. or at the very least, raising his voice when he shouldn't have.
"hey, get away from her!" matt shouted from the porch and raced over to the car. david backed away from y/n and faced matt with a smug look on his face.
"well, look at this. you always did need saving. but this kid doesn't even look like he could win any fight at all."
"that's where you're wrong, buddy." matt stepped closer. he was dead set on going toe-to-toe with david, who was twice his size. y/n knew what david was capable of so she grabbed matt's arm, causing him to look at her.
"matt, please don't." she pleaded but matt looked back at david. "he's gonna destroy you."
"so? rather him do it to me than to you again." matt slowly moved her behind him and stepped as close to david as he could. he had to look up to make eye contact but that didn't bother him. he just wanted to protect y/n.
"is that really what she told you? is there anything that bitch is honest about?"
"excuse me?" matt grew angrier the longer david stood there. "if you don't get off my property in two seconds, i'm gonna-"
"you're gonna what? kick my ass? yeah i'd love to see you try."
"my pleasure." matt rushed forward and his right fist collided with david's cheek. it left a mark but david barely even staggered. his eyes widened in anger as he threw matt to the ground and landed punch after punch to his body.
"matt!"
"did you hear that?" chris asked nick as he shut the fridge. "should we go see what's going on?"
"obviously." nick was already halfway out the door when chris finished asking the question. he stopped on the porch. "chris, call the cops. quick!"
"why? what's going on?" chris peaked over his shoulder and saw david. "oh shit." he quickly called the cops and told the operator what was going on before following nick out to where y/n stood.
nick was trying to break up the fight while y/n was just frozen in her spot. chris pulled her into a hug and made sure she couldn't see what was going on.
even though matt had somehow flipped david onto the ground, it was clear he was getting weak. the longer he hit david, the worse it was getting for him. there was no true winner to the fight.
the only thing that got them apart was when the cops pulled into the driveway.
for y/n, everything was a blur of red and blue. chris had her turned away from the chaos and she was focusing on the reflection of the lights in his eyes.
as the cops hauled david away after getting everyone's statements, nick helped matt inside carefully. chris looked at y/n and rubbed her arms.
"are you okay? he didn't hurt you, did he?"
"no. i'm fine." y/n looked at chris and sighed. she looked around the front yard and began to panic. "what happened? where's matt?"
"he's inside. would you like me to take you to him?" chris didn't wait for a response. he already knew what she would want. he escorted her inside and to matt's bathroom.
when they saw each other, matt gently pushed nick aside and pulled y/n as close as he possibly could.
"i am so sorry for leaving you out there."
"matt, don't apologize. i'm fine." she leaned back to examine his face. "you look like shit. no offense."
"you're good." matt smiled and looked at y/n. "i would do it all again if it guaranteed your safety."
"i love you." y/n rubbed matt's cheek gently and kissed him. it was the first time either of them had used the 'l' word with each other and even though the night was chaotic, the moment felt right. y/n pulled away first and looked deep into matt's eyes. "i'm sorry. i just really wanted to get that out there."
"don't apologize. i love you too." matt smiled widely.
chris and nick watched as their brother finally realized he really did love the girl standing in front of him. the longer he smiled at her, the more pain he felt.
"we should get you cleaned up." y/n grabbed his hand and led him to the bathroom. "there's so much blood."
"i know. but some of it is david's & i do not regret it one bit."
"i know, matt. and i appreciate you protecting me. but he could've killed you, you know?"
"i'm completely aware of what could've happened but, again, i do not regret it. when it comes to you, i'm always going to protect you, even if you can defend yourself. you're my girl and all i want to do is keep you safe."
"i am safe." y/n paused her sentence and reached for the bandages. she then slowly began to wrap his hand. as she did so, she looked into his eyes. "with you."
"you're always safe with me." matt watched intently as y/n wrapped his knuckles up gently.
"i know." she held his hand and smiled. "i can't believe it's only been two months but it's felt like a lifetime."
"when you're with the right person, the smallest amount of time can feel incredibly longer."
"i love you matt. i really do." she sighed. "and i don't think i've ever meant those words more than i do right now."
"i feel the same way, y/n. and i think i've loved you in another lifetime as well."
"wow. and to think i almost ended up with chris." y/n smiled.
"wait, what?!" chris had heard her and was running to the bathroom to join matt in exclamation. the two boys stared at each other for a second before y/n just giggled.
"man, you guys are so easy to trick." she smiled and kissed matt again. something she would absolutely never get tired of doing.
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tayaalovsx · 2 days
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♡|KATSUKI BAKUGOU HEADCANONS|☆
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I feel like he wouldn't give a pet name for his gf, more like call her his idiot or dumbass, as more time passes he grew to call her his idiot or dumbass, not just the nickname~
Cuddles with him would be something that need to be in the Antarctic, beacuse of his quirk his body heats up a lot more and I feel like even if he sweats a bit it would be a whole nuclear bomb~
If his gf likes the way his mask pushes back his hair he would wear it especially for her this way, if she makes just a small comment he would wear it everyday~
He fills up the gasps in his mask with an eye liner and no one can make me believe otherwise, and so which makes him something like a pro in the make up, so he would do some eye liner for his gf~
Compliments aren't his thing, I just feel like he's not so good at giving them and gets flustrated at receiving them~
He likes his gf natural, no make up, no hairstyle no anything. he feels like if he shows his soft side to his gf she needs to show him her bare face in return. his logic is build diffrent
Can sing, a decent singer. But for the love of God he won't and I mean WON'T ever sing in front of the others. I feel like he prefers death then going in front of a bunch of extras and singing. But for his gf he would (only in front of her, or and Jirou/Kirishima, they are the less noisy about it)
Softie for his girl. Not the biggest and the warmest man on this planet but he's more calm around his significant other. He doesn't curse as much, and is quiter. But will throw sarcastic comments at her
I feel like his type would be brunettes, simply beacuse he needs a change in the exterior. Green eyed girls or brown eyed are also his type, beacuse they are a good mix to his red eyes.
If his girl loves some kind of outfit on men, he would wear it, on.every.possible.date! He wants his gf to like him, he probably cares only for her opinion
If she wishes he will calm down the nicknames for his classmates, he wouldn't stop calling them extras for nothing in the world tho
He likes his girl bratty, it brings him joy to see someone standing up to him with good statement but also if she were to be a little bit childish it would be a bonus as well.
a girl dad, maybe he would be a boy dad but I feel like it would just be a mini version of him, quite literally and he wouldn't like that very much. but as a girl dad he would adore and spoil the little kid, yes he would treat both genders equally, but he prefers to be a girl dad
his hair is natural, and so if it rains he would complain non stop, and I just feel like his gf would be one of the girls who straightenes their hair and it would just be a humorous situation to watch them bicker with the rain.
he hates skinny jeans, I mean I hope I'm not the only one. he always wears baggy clothes, intight would only be a shirt or a tank top. he likes to flex infront of his gf so yes, black tank tops are something he wears often when training.
His ideal type of date, is just being around his girl, doesn't mean where or when he needs her close to him, since she's the only one who can stand up his attitude and no make a deal out of it.
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killallxys · 3 days
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I feel saying men are inherently biologically horrible is kind of a cop out. They are not nor do they want to change. There is no biological push because they've got big enough brains to handle to not do it. Somehow certain men are able to hide their nature or be weaker and more timid yet hold those values. It's not biological it's simply put socialization. That's not to say we should start pulling out the red carpet and start "oh but he's a victim too". Bullshit. He's no victim. I can understand women who are traditional pushing this but no it's not the same.
Men actively search and destroy other men. They love heiarchies.
Women who do this are just infected by it. Same for ego, fetish, and etc.
Men are not victims to their nature. Saying that affirms the whole well he's a man how do you expect for him to react when you're dressed up like that.
In fact that makes them worse. They actively know and are not slaved chained to their instincts. Testerone usage is just for mating and fighting. That is it so when a male is out of place in nature and beats a female, it is because that male is a failure in those areas.
Males yes have this surge of hormones but are somehow chained yet not chained enough to be able to get creative with it.
Either way even if it was biological, you can always condition them. I'm not saying therapy I mean literal conditioning. If a wolf can become a chihuahua then a man can become decent.
the patriarchy is and by men.
The patriarchy isn't somehow natural aspect. It is engineered otherwise there wouldn't have been a gap in history of women living in matriarchy.
Anyways I feel when males are stated to be inherently horrible, it just washes out everything. If men are to be like this then why should we have any other attitude other than indifference? He's a man it's in his nature. No it's not he's been raised in a misogynistic society and loves it, doesn't even know he loves it. He is no victim nonetheless.
Men are not helpless testerone rage monsters. No they are willful ones.
Men are not inherently bad
However no man...no naturally made man is good
Theyre all disgusting not a single one has done something in recognition of the female sex as human...no...bare minimum.
Somehow they are able to feel bad about banging a pot or pan on accident yet not for women
No man in the past was good
No man right now is good
"OH well if you say that why not date one now"
No man exists right now with bare minimum capabilities and beyond.
No man exists in this world our world like this.
No man.
I would enjoy a relationship with a adult human male in our world but unfortunately not one capable exists.
4B global \(^^)/ I hope for extinction unless something changes at the last minute. By that I mean men stop with everything.
However not all men will change...men right now none will change. If one does, why should we clap.
Also many will need to be lost in genocide which is good. Men will not stay sat they will eventually start fighting back with full force and so will be killed. Too many alive. Bombs away
Letter bomb+
Anti war because of men
But not for women
It was not women who started ww2, committed genocides and wars in south Sudan, or cut off women's breasts.
It was men
I agree. These smeglets say "biology" and play victim. Although I understand that women who say it don't want to deal with men anymore. And even if it was biology, subjugating women is wrong and they should be killed. Just how it is natural for virus to infect and kill but we didn't put hands on chin and said "it's life" but killed the virus.
Its kinda stupid to waste energy chaging them. They enjoy the power dynamic. They won't care bout us.
We aren't on 4B because we need to teach those men a lesson. We are on it because men are a lost cause. They dont want to change (even when they can) and actively hurt women.
The best thing possibel as of now is stop birthing males. Either a daughter or an abortion. Also men are going extinct soon. Or if you wanna speed it up, let's start killing moid's. Because the end goal of feminism is to liberate women and make oppression a thing of the past, does t matter if that means men must die.
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oldblackhat · 3 days
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Y’all this petition going around - I've seen it twice now - the one that includes: “As Neil Gaiman has offered to step back, there is no reason for the production of the TV series to stop” (full text below)
Oh my God y’all please Do Not sign that!
I know we are all having different reactions and I respect that — but y’all I'm concerned that this petition in particular is actually kinda doing his PR team’s work for them!
If you decide you want to sign a petition about saving GO season3 then please consider signing one that requests he be fired (i.e. http://bit.ly/firegaiman) and/or includes stipulations about what “step back” actually means in practice (because we still don’t know).
We still don't know what “discussions about possible production changes” and “offered to step back”/“take a back seat” actually means in terms of degree of removal and on-the-ground changes. Will he be on set at all (possibly getting access to interact with young female staff)? How (if at all) will he be referenced in official promotions and interviews for the show?
Is there a possible world where Amazon accepts Neils offer but Amazon/Neils definition of “step back” is Wholey Insufficient and nothing near as comprehensive as we’re all hoping? Unfortunately, I think yes! Yes there is.
Until we know for sure what “step back” actually means (so we can know if it’s enough) I think we need to not wave the victory banner just yet and keep pushing for his removal (so if you’re going to sign a petition—please choose a different one)
I think it’s fine to hope that it means he’ll be cut out as thoroughly as we all hope—but I think it’s honestly kinda dangerous to assume this to be true (without sufficient evidence) to the point of signing a petition that says since he’s “offered to step back, there is no reason for the production….to stop”.
It’s dangerous in that you are setting yourself up for more pain in the future if you convince yourself this “step back” is going to be to a sufficient degree — and we later learn that it is not.
And it’s dangerous because y’all I do think this petition in particular is one his PR team would support getting as many signatures as possible.
Y’all I think his lawyers and PR team want people focusing on renewing the show instead of focusing on the allegations. They want us to take his “offer to step back”, be satisfied with it, and actively shift attention away from how bad he is towards unpausing production.
It’s in the phrasing. Honestly nothing in this petition makes it clear to me whether the writer is or isn’t a rape apologist. I’m not saying they are but I can’t tell and I think that’s a pretty major red flag. It’s how he only gets mentioned one time: “as Neil Gaiman has offered to step back, there is no reason for the production….to stop” and there’s no mention of why he’s “offering to step back” (the five women who’ve come forward)
And of course since he’s “not admitting to any wrongdoing” he gets to play the white knight offering to gallantly step back so the show can go on (sickening). And again the only reference to him in this petition is that he’s “offered to step back” — what a nice gentle phrasing that doesn’t disallow a white knight interpretation!
Now i want to be clear — I am Not saying helping his PR is the intent of anyone who has already signed this petition or reblogged it — I’m assuming best intentions here (which would be not realizing that signing/reblogging this is arguably helping his PR team)
But y’all again if you decide you want to sign a petition about saving GO season3 please sign and share one like this http://bit.ly/firegaiman that explicitly stipulates to fire him and includes: “We feel very strongly that we cannot financially support Good Omens with Mr. Gaiman still in a position of power within it and are calling for his immediate dismissal.” Because again yall we don’t know if the “step back” currently being discussed behind closed doors will be enough so we should still be pushing for his removal.
Or make a new petition that stipulates he not be on set, or anywhere near young female staff, and also not be discussed positively in any promotional material, etc.
And if pushing for him to be truly sufficiently uninvolved does help lead to this show being cancelled — then that might mean his being sufficiently uninvolved just wasn’t about to be on the table for whatever reason — and if that’s the case then it’s probably for the best the show doesn’t continue :/
(i know i hope not i honestly do hope he can be removed sufficiently & the show can go on but we can’t know yet whether he is going to be sufficiently removed)
Here’s a screenshot of the full text of the petition I don’t think you should sign:
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Please please please if you decide you want to sign a petition about saving GO season3 please sign and share one like this instead:
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dangerous-advantage · 11 months
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(Image description below 'read more' line.)
[Image ID: A four-by-four alignment chart on a white background with text descriptions to the left and to the top of the squares.
The top left description reads, "seems like they'd be good at parenting." The top right description reads, "seems like they'd be bad at parenting."
Then, from the top down, to the left of the squares, the other set of descriptions reads: "excellent child rearing instincts," and "never trust them with a child in your life."
Each of the four squares contains an image of a different character. At the top left is an image of Lan Wangji of the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. He sits between the descriptors "seems like they'd be good at parenting," and "excellent child rearing instincts."
In the top right square sits an image of Wei Wuxian, also of the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. He sits between the junction of "seems like they'd be bad at parenting" and "excellent child rearing instincts."
In the bottom left square is an image of Xie Lian from the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua. He occupies the square with the captions, "seems like they'd be good at parenting" and "never trust them with a child in your life."
Finally, in the bottom left square, sits an image of Hua Cheng from the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua. He occupies the junction between "seems like they'd be bad at parenting" and "never trust them with a child in your life". /End ID]
#look ok#i see all the cute little fics with xl and hc talking about becoming parents and etc etc#and that's cute! that's adorable!! let them be happy!!!#but. you have to admit ok. hualian need to work through their own problems#like c'mon. xl picks up like AT LEAST three kids in the book and then proceeds to forget about one on his shelf for a while#just kinda. stands judgmentally with his hands on his hips about guzi and qi rong (it's really funny though don't get me wrong)#and after finally re-capturing lang ying he's like 'i'm gonna guardian you!' and then a whole bunch of shit happens and uh well#ly turns out to be the ghost of some kid xl traumatized 800 years ago come back for vengeance (L)#which means xl traumatized him multiple times lmao#we aren't even touching qi rong and lang qianqiu which YES i know the latter wasn't xl's fault and i am fully aware that the situation with#qi rong is and was complicated. BUT. come ON man can these poor kids never catch a break? the one kid he DIDN'T accidentally traumatize#turned out to be obsessively in love with him so like maybe this is for the best?#anyway i also just don't think they'd be... genuinely interested in a commitment like that? like hc would go along with anything xl wants#but he doesn't seem the type to be interested in kids (he's mostly just interested in xl)#xl isn't off the hook either ok#people bring up hc's treatment of e'ming but xl isn't exactly a saint to ruoye. i dont blame the guy he's got a lot on his mind#but he's also very.... absent#plus with the responsibilities of their respective positions all their extra time is like. spent on eachother jk?#this isn't to say xl doesn't *like* kids or anything i just don't think he would want to be a full-time parent lmao#also they DEFINITELY have their own issues with themselves as kids and i'm afraid that might translate into like. parenting#meme#tgcf#mxtx meme#tgcf meme#xie lian#hua cheng#lan wangji#wei wuxian#wei ying#lan zhan
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eggmeralda · 1 year
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overcome with the sudden urge to listen to songs my friend likes...what does that mean
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I was trying to define how I'm feeling rn and I came up with 'horrible, but in a good way'
#i mean yes horrible nasty#but not like yesterday or other days sometimes#(God be thanked that I forgot at the time that there actually is a knife in my room in a box bc if I'd remembered I'd wager anything#that I would not in fact have come out of that unscathed. I have buried the knife further in the box#so that in case such a crisis comes again I cannot easily get at it and hopefully I'll get some sense or tell somebody in the meantime.)#anyway rn it's the sort of horrible which is wearing and nasty but definitely still this-too-shall-pass#i can survive it without danger to life or limb in the least it's not as bad#and i know definitely that this is connected with having friend and her family staying over since wednesday#thankfully they're going home tomorrow at least#yes i am a horrible friend#yes this is making it worse#but i just - yes i love her and i love them. but i need space. i need alone time. i am at the end of my tether.#and yes apparently anxiety and uptightness and general wound up ness can get to the point it did yesterday#i only clawed up my face a bit and nothing lasting#only a few nail marks remain on my hands so im fine#but i won't deny that the evening of yesterday was honestly terrifying#if i'm like this emotionally still in terms of fragility by the time i go back to uni i don't think i'll cope with uni#at least without resorting to something desperate of some kind#i'm hoping getting a job soon if i can will pull me out of this slump#i need to do something about pursuing an adhd diagnosis or at least going to an educational psych like my doctor suggested#i cannot deal with it without at least one or the other of those#i mean i also need a referral from doctor to scoliosis review surgeon so if i can get an appointment with the specific doctor to get that#maybe i'll be able to get a referral to another adhd or educational person as well at the same time. i hope so#i don't know. sorry for having a breakdown all over tumblr#if im having a serious breakdown all over tumblr at any point that's probably my way of keeping me somewhere safe tbh#im sorry y'all have to be dumped with this but idk#and im sorry i can't promise to trigger tag or anything eithr bc i know if im in a state of crisis or my definition of crisis i will forget#guhh anyway idk why i dumped this all over the place sorry#to my followers who followed me bc of shenanigans: sorry#to everybody: sorry
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spiinsparks · 2 years
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        ||. not to be that guy who talks endlessly about a previous game but honestly  forces timeline sonic is just so angry all the time i can’t handle it
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aerithisms · 6 months
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played through the gongaga reactor in ff7 rebirth. live gnome reaction:
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zoanzon · 7 months
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Extremely fucking terrified at how I've apparently managed to back up a bit over a million and a half words of personal writing in a year? Like, I went through my diary and confirmed I first started deep-dive archiving my old stuff (and cross-archiving anything written after that point) last March.
And I still have more to go???
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