#(and the same one that’s been getting nowhere for a year 😬)

[mirror-blue-shite]

like, I know writing fic can get bad, but I didn’t know it could get ‘3000 word prologue that is entirely exposition’ bad

[sleepyyywriter]

Time, Time, Time, See What's Become of Me

A/N: You know how I said “whatever you do, don’t think of an Arthur that gets to gray?” 😬 I thought about it. …and I feel some type of way about it. Sorry. Also, in my head, all of the ideas I get are kinda a follow up of that first fix it fic I wrote? Or they take place in the same universe since he’s… around and all in this one. I don’t think it necessarily means you have to read it? At the time of me writing this A/N you don’t have to at least. Still, here is the link in case you want to read.

I kinda got lost towards the end, sorry 😅  

Also! Thank you for all of the comments and reblogs on the last piece. They mean the world to me! As I stated, this is a side-blog so I can’t really reply but I saw every comment and every like and reblog. Thanks! 💜

Word Count: 3k

Genre: Fix-it, Smut

Y/N had noticed it first, how could she not? Even these many years later, she still feared that everything had been a dream and Arthur had not been set free. That she had been unable to help and the beautiful, happy life they had shared so far was all in her head. So every day, Y/N hugged him tight, kissed him, loved him and burned every inch of him into her memory in case she one day woke up and he was nowhere to be found.

Thankfully, he was as real as the way her heart sung for him. He was always there with a smile and kisses and a touch as fervent and loving as hers. And now, she had been lucky enough to witness the way his laugh lines set permanent residence on the sides of his mouth and around his eyes, creating little paths for her to trace with her lips and fingertips. God, the sight of them never failed to make her fall a little more in love with him. An even newer development were the streaks of gray peppering his hair and Y/N could’ve never predicted the feeling the sight of them would stir within her. 

Her fingers were constantly in his hair, twisting, twirling, caressing, and pulling if the occasion called for it. She did not understand how she could love him so much and how she could store all that love in her heart. She’d sooner invest in a new heart than ever stop loving Arthur, of that she was sure.

She did not think Arthur was as enamored with his changing hair if the frowns and tightened lips at his reflection were anything to go by.

He was currently standing in front of the bathroom mirror after his shower, a hairbrush in his hand as he combed this way and that, trying to cover up the sides of his hair where the grays were most visible. 

Y/N took a moment to let her eyes drink in the sight in front of her; how the towel (which she threw in the dryer for a few minutes before Arthur’s shower was over so it would be warm) hung dangerously low on his hips, how stray drops of water caressed their way down his back, and how his arms flexed every time he fussed with his hair.

A huff from Arthur broke her from her reverie and she made her way to him, her arms automatically wrapping around him from behind and her lips tracing a path on his spine. A smile formed on her face as he leaned back into her, his body soft and relaxed under her touch.

Y/N took a hold of the brush in his hand and set it down on the counter before turning him to face her with a gentle hold on his hips. “Talk to me?”

Arthur sighed as he stared past her shoulder and a dusting of rosy pink spread on the apples of his cheeks. Y/N cocked her head to the side, surprised by his reaction. She took his hands into hers and rubbed soothing circles on the back of them as she waited for him to speak. Arthur was good at expressing emotions and thoughts, so long as he didn’t have to speak. He preferred writing his thoughts down and sharing them with her that way or speaking through his actions. He could speak, of course, but she had learned to give him time to organize his thoughts. He would speak when he was ready, and she would be willing to listen whenever that was.

“I’m old.” He paused then and she knew she would have to help by prompting and guiding the conversation if she wanted it to happen. Which it clearly did if the scene she walked into was anything to go by.

“You’re older, yes. We both are. Just yesterday I got up from the couch and my knees made a crackling noise I had never heard before,” she confessed, hoping humor would alleviate his discomfort. It did.

Arthur snorted and rolled his eyes at her, his lips placing soft pecks to her eyelids seconds later. “You look fine though. You look great!” he amended, as if afraid to offend her. “But me… You can tell I’m getting older.”

At this, his fingers combed through his fluffy locks, the gray in his curls more prominent now that his hair had begun to air dry.

“Arthur, you don’t like your graying hair?” Y/N questioned, surprise and disbelief evident in her voice as she stared into his eyes, watching as the surprise in her voice reflected in them.

“You do?”

Y/N gasped and immediately began apologizing. Her hands cupped his cheeks, and she couldn’t help but alternate between mumbled apologies and kisses to his soft and weathered face. “Baby, I thought you knew. I am the worst; I am so sorry!”

Arthur stopped her then with his hands on her face, shaking his head vehemently before pressing his lips to hers. As was the norm, Y/N turned into putty under his ministrations and had she not understood how important it was that she reassure Arthur, she might have allowed herself to get carried away.

Instead, she pulled away with one last brush of her lips to his before taking his hand and turning him back around to face the mirror. “Wanna know what I see?”

Arthur nodded, his eyes on her through the mirror and she caught the exact moment his lips quirked up into a small smile when she grabbed a stray curl and placed a kiss to it.

“I see an intelligent, sweet, handsome, beautiful, courageous, and strong man living his best life despite all the obstacles he has faced. I see a man who got the opportunity to grow older and experience life; the good, the bad, and the worst, and still managed to smile and bring smiles to those around him. I see a man grateful for this second shot at life that was finally afforded to him, and I see him making the best of it every day. I see the love of my life growing old with me and lighting up my life, day after day. I see him making me a better person just by being by my side.”

She smiled when he turned in her arms and hid his face in the crook of her neck. Still, she continued, “We can go to the drugstore and buy some hair-dye for those bad boys if that is what you choose. But you must know I don’t dislike them, and I don’t see you as anything less because of them. As a matter of fact, I like them a little too much and I’m appalled you haven’t noticed.”

He perked up at this and pulled back to look at her, his brows quirking up in question while his arms tightened around her.

Y/N laughed, loud and bright as she brushed his hair back from his eyes and leaned into his ear, her lips brushing against the curve of it, “darling, you and your beautiful grays are sexy and you’re driving me fucking insane.”

She pulled away from him with a wink and sashayed away from the bathroom and into the bedroom, knowing she wouldn’t make it far.

Y/N heard the click of the bathroom light and seconds later, Arthur’s hands were on the swell of her hips, turning her to face him as he walked her back on to the bed. His lips found hers, soft and hot and needy. In turn, her fingers tangled in his hair, tugging in the way that had him pressing against her with a grunt.

Y/N laughed against him, moaning when he nipped her bottom lip in retaliation. Arthur tugged at the sash on her robe, pushing it down her shoulders and letting it fall to the ground, his lips moving to trace her jawline. His fingers hooked on the sides of her panties, his nails ghosting over her skin and Y/N helped by kicking them off.

She pawed at the towel around him, allowing herself a satisfied hum as it fell before Arthur stopped moving and lightly pushed her on to the bed, joining her seconds alter. His arms were on either side of her face as he looked down on her, his curls a halo around his head and a smile on his face as he looked into her eyes.

As he nestled in the space between her legs, she could feel him; hot and firm against her thigh and she shuddered in response. Arthur smirked, one of his hands brushing up from her hip up to the side of her breast and Y/N could do nothing more than press up into him, her thighs tightening against him in search of friction.

In the years she had been gifted with Arthur, she had had the pleasure of watching him grow in every aspect of his life. She���d watched him become happier, his laughs and smile constant and bright. She had seen him become more relaxed, no longer looking over his shoulder waiting on the other shoe to drop and for his life to fall apart before his very eyes. She watched him become more confident, aware of his charm and allure and she felt victimized in the most delicious way.

Arthur knew of the effect he had on others, yet he paid it no mind. When it came to the effect he had on her, though? He would tease her in the most discreet and innocent ways that a part of her wondered if she was making it up in her head. But then he would raise a brow at her, a smirk on his lips and she had no choice but to take it out on him when they got home. She was never quite sure when the game began nor if either of them ever won but she knew both of them enjoyed it thoroughly.

His fingers caressed down her stomach until they nestled inside of her, warm and calloused and perfect. “Is this how much you like it?” he murmured, a smile on his lips as he inched his way further inside, meeting no resistance with how worked up she was.

If Y/N possessed control of anything, she might’ve rolled her eyes or even responded with a witty remark. As it was, the hot tendrils of desire licked at her body and she could do little else than whimper, her hips rolling as she tried to get him deeper within her.

Arthur clicked his tongue in mock sympathy, cooing as his thumb joined the mix and gently circled her clit. He swirled and he prodded, pride in his eyes as she writhed and whined. Through the haze, Y/N gazed up at him, pleading and begging for him to give her what he knew she needed.

He smiled and nodded, placing a kiss on her forehead as he gently withdrew his fingers. Y/N pushed herself up, creating enough space for Arthur to kneel on the bed and press his upper body into hers. His teeth, uneven and endearingly his, grazed her collarbone, marking her and then soothing with his tongue.

Her thighs found their way around his hips on muscle memory alone. Y/N’s right hand wrapped around his shoulder and her remaining hand entwined with his. When they were as connected as they could possibly get, Arthur thrust into her in one fluid motion, their twin moans reverberating in the room.

Y/N could’ve sobbed at the feeling. Even these many years later, having Arthur become one with her was always a magical experience. He was rigid and warm and real and Y/N felt complete.

Then he moved. As his hips pulled back and he unsheathed himself, Y/N cried out for him, her fingers digging into his skin as he pressed his hips into her again. Arthur brushed his lips against her cheek, his breath tickling her neck as his hips snapped into her. Again, and again. Hard, relentless, and unhinged. His soft moans and grunts sounded in her ear; her teeth grazed his shoulder.

There was no need for words as he pushed his chest off from hers nor as he pinned her wrists on either side of her head. Words were still not needed as he stretched her walls repeatedly when his hips snapped into hers, the sound of skin on skin, her moans and his throaty grunts mixing in the darkened room.

Still, even though no words were needed as sweat dripped down the side of his face or as their eyes met and glimmered under the moonlight, Y/N still spoke. “I love you, Arthur. I loved you then, I love you now and I’ll love you forever.”

He stilled then, his eyes like two lonesome stars in the midnight sky, and he smiled at her. For her part, Y/N took advantage of his distraction and flipped him over. She perched over him and teased herself by grinding her body on his firm abdomen. He hummed a laugh, then stilled just as fast when she took him inside once more.

It was now her turn to gaze down on him, humming contently when his hands settled on her hips again, mirth and adoration in his darkened eyes as he guided her every move.

Y/N’s fingers found their way to her core, her touch lazy and barely there as she teased the sensitive bundle of nerves within her. Her eyes squeezed shut as she teetered closer to the edge.

Beneath her, Arthur cursed, and he planted his feet on the bed. He met Y/N’s every thrust and he made it his goal to make her come undone.

Y/N’s hands splayed on his chest, her focus now on grinding into him. Arthur traced the curve of her lower back, his touch like hot coals as her body undulated over his. Her every breath was short and labored now and that familiar tightening in her stomach was making itself known.

Arthur cupped her breasts, his thumbs caressing the pebbled skin there as his eyes drank her in. He thought she looked the most beautiful like this; with parted lips, flushed cheeks and eyes struggling to stay on his.

After a particular set of rapid thrusts into her, Y/N tightened around him, coming undone with a shout of his name and her nails dragging down his chest.

Arthur followed two lazy thrusts later, his fingers tangling in her hair, and he pressed their lips together, her name on his lips.

With no strength left in her, Y/N face-planted into his chest. She whispered confessions of love against his skin, which Arthur thought sounded adorable with how muffled and slurred they were. With a gentle hold on the nape of her neck, he moved her so her cheek was resting on his chest. Arthur moved stray pieces of her hair from her face, and she hummed contently as the ceiling fan above them cooled off her sweaty skin.

Soon enough she was shivering, and she would have dozed off to sleep had Arthur not gently coaxed her into cleaning up, reassuring her she would regret it in the morning if she didn’t. Oh, how she loved him.

-------------------------------------------

Y/N had opened a can of worms she was not ready to deal with and now she was reaping what she had sowed. Granted, this was a wonderful problem to have. In the months since that conversation, Arthur had fully embraced this new facet of life. His hair was predominantly gray now and he had allowed for his matching facial hair to grow. The new look was detrimental to her mental health.

She was currently perched on the couch. Having heard the front door, her body angled towards the door and her arms rested on the back of the couch, supporting her chin. Her eyes widened at the sight of him, sunglasses over his eyes, pep in his step and a smug grin as he combed his fingers through his hair.

Arthur took his glasses off and bent down to brush his lips against, a soft greeting on his lips. She was almost convinced she was imagining his teasing until his teeth sunk down on her flesh, his tongue soothing right after.

As if heeding a silent call, she straightened up so she was kneeling on the couch and fully facing him. Her arms locked around his neck and his hands slid under her shirt, pressing her close with slight pressure on her lower back.

As was the norm, her fingers tangled on the curls resting on the nape of his neck and he huffed a laugh against her lips, not breaking contact yet. Their lips danced with each other, soft and sensual and full of love and her heart flooded with emotion. This was living. With Arthur in her arms, his lips against her, showing her visions of the love, passion, and desire he felt for her, the same she felt for him.

Arthur pulled away first, his lips peppering a path from her cheek up to that spot under her ear that could make her sing. He could make her do anything and she would not ever question it, if she were honest with herself.

“Arthur, you’re killing me. I love you, but fuck! You’re killing me,” she moaned, her fingers tugging on his hair when he laughed.

“Would never,” he denied, pulling back to gaze at her with those glimmering pools of moss he called eyes. His lashes framed his eyes so beautifully that she almost missed what he said next. “You promised me forever, my love.”

And, when he looked at her like that, weathered skin stretched with a soft smile and eyes crinkling in delight, how could she give him anything less than a lifetime?

[liaa--qb]

This might sound overly dramatic, but I'm so sad and disappointed right now because of all those horrible leaks. I know they still might be false, but honestly I believe that save for some details, they are mostly true. There are few things that sadden me the most :

1. Helaemond not being canon. I know that this ship has been controversial, especially among TG, but it really had a lot of potential and was one of my favourite (still is). And I don't care what antis say, there were a lot of hints and undertones in s1 about helaemond, more than for Alicole and look, Alicole apparently becomes canon in the worst possible way. Which brings me to the second point -

2) Alicole being canon. Don't get me wrong. I like this pairing, but it would be much better and more in character if they never acted on their feelings. Not to mention that two sex scenes in ep 1 (if the leak is true) will seem too much and out of nowhere. And to include it in B&C scene with helaena walking in on them having sex right after Jaehaerys is brutally murdered is an atrocious writing decision. F*ck you Condal and whoever is responsible for this.

3) B&C made into a joke. According to the leaks, Helaena won't be given a choice, there will be some upsetting details about getting naked the children and so on..and to have her walk in on her mom having sex with a member of a kingsguard.. Again, f*ck you Condal.

4) Aemond and the brothel madame. Why would he go to the same woman who SAed him when he was 13? And he obviously felt uncomfortable around her in ep 9. And to make him cry while naked in fetal position...I also read on reddit that they will include a mommy kink with breast sucking and whatnot... but this seems way too much and is probably someone's shitty headcanon. At least I hope it is, because if true I'll vomit.

And this is only the first episode. Idk, if this turns out to be true, I'll probably stop watching and it sucks since I really like this universe and was excited about s2. Two years of waiting and for what.. Not only the shortened season but also all this garbage. We'll see in few days, I guess, but I'm not hopeful. Anyway, thanks for reading my rant. I would love to hear your opinion on this.

Ya the way heard about leaks is sooo😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭☠️ wtf they have done 😬☠️☠️

IT'S MY ANSWER FOR ALL QUES LIKE THIS FILLED IN MY INBOX CZ I GOT SAME QUES FOUR TIMES in different ways😅, so I am answering for them all but it's but long

See it's a kind suggestion from me very sweetly that it's better if you are not expecting something high from makers n watching it without any expectations because if we are hating just because they did some ships wrong then acc to that alot of changes were already done since s1, like Rhaenicent , Larys alot of things but we never had problems.

Listen I am kinda sad also but you know what..... be happy because you know Ewan and Phia are shipping helaemond🥰. They acknowledging it , loving it and adding some own elements to this ship is really amazing of them moreover just for a fan service.

Like "do it for helaemond" 😭 they are so adorable. See I knew very well that it's not gonna happen, I had a very less surity and that's how exactly it turned out.

But you know what not a single ship is going to have any good romantic future 😂 either all of them even Daemyra main centre couple is not being done well by the makers. What can you expect for others ?

because I knew helaemond had lit ceslu potential but it has to be done correctly and Ik hotd makers would ruin it or make it bad even if it was shown canon look at Alicole now. So being non canon yet addressed by makers and actors who specially said they would act on it for fan service is a kind of little serve.

To me it's like I won ( but at what cost 😭😅) but also winning well wasn't there on cards ever. Every ship is going to be destroyed by makers. see what they did with Helaegon(ik it wasn't any good already) but like I am crying on leaks ( I thought atleast this s2 helaegon would be done but better for Aegon's sake but no😭)

All ships barely are going to have small amount of time without any romantic bullshit, just in one or two scene then seperating apart n dying 😂☠️ as I said earlier so to me Ewan phia trying their own things for helaemond in background in genuinely a small cake😂. ( Atleast we have some scenes with them, idk if there would be😑😬 not expecting much)

One thing I really hate that you know they gave Juan and Cesare arcs to Aegon n Aemond making their pair up way intresting to watch. I really wish that Helaena was given the same authority or bit of freedom of exploring herself like Alicent. Sorry if someone as strictly religious like Alicent can do it then it was way easy for Heleana. And whole Borgias recreate would have been so interesting to watch.

I wish I could see Helaena scolding, shouting at Aemond for starting all this shit n hating Aegon for being a useless father after b&c. There should be a sense of of cheating or fraud when she sees her mother who claims to be a religious person but doing everything against it while she had to suffer her whole life with bad marriage.

Not seeing her any active is what which annoys me so much.

they gave her dreamer arc for Nothing just being ignored by her important family members.Phia should be awarded for her acting n carrying heleana despite of their dirty writing.

The thing is Helaemond would have been a shock and surprise more fitting for audience, making Helaena active with this part instead of doing Alicent dirty an don't even ask how I am feeling about Helaena catching Alicent and Cole . It was sooo😭🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️😑

And most ironically funny thing is that same thing happened with Borgias, Cesare and lucrezia were not canon initially and never meant for canon, both actors said we will just play into into it but when I rumours started later runners had no choice to make it canon for later season 😂

So never loose hope or stop loving or hyping any of your ship or helaemond I would say because Ryan can pull any stunt any time. The way he is going I don't think he gives much f about book canon, he is doing anything he wants😂😂

So who knows... if he ever liked Helaemond he can pull it anytime 😂(I m not kidding) bcz Alicole fucking specially between b&c since s1 is so ooc I could not even describe. I am not even hardcore FNB fan but they quite messed up Alicole angst and guilt arc which could have been so beautiful. It's so inconsistent with their parts from S1 like what ?🤦🏻‍♀️

And I hate that blood & cheese should have been how Helaena is suffering instead I am afraid whole light will be thrown on Criston/Alicent fucking reveal.

no couple is gonna have any beautiful story so it's kind of better if they are just playing with helaemond behind back.

Atleast there is so much for Helaemond content and on other hand my other ship Rhaemond is literally carried by lil warriors Leo and Eva 😭 on their shoulder with that one scene for all seasons. I never gonna see them interact again😿.

And yes I also hate how Aemond is sent to back his abuser. Like they could have used any other female if they have to show his milf attraction or some kind of guilt kink something but not his groomer. It sucks he is finding comfort in her arms. Like these show runners forgot how all these characters were exactly in season1 bc such changes r so😭

Overall I would say don't leave the show just in terms for ships to be endgame as not a single ship is going to have any happy ending or any romantic drive in HOTD main focus will be on Rhaenyra, Alicent getting depressed and Daemon will be haunted 😭 but still it's your choice in the end😅 I am no one to say anything.

Now I am mainly watching for Aegon & Aemond n how other new entries like Alys, Alyn, Cregan or Addam are gonna introduced ( well who knows if Daeron is also gets his Cameo in the end )

if I am being honest just like the way I started this show after reading book without having any great expectations. It works better that way and may be for Ewanphia Crumbs for few secs if they don't cut their scenes of which I have very much doubt.

( while how I wanna see Ewan phia/Phiwan crumbs on screens in delulu mind😭😭 :

Like this is how I wanted Helaena to jump n beat the shit out of Aemond after b&c n that's how it should be bc that's his brother not any stranger, she had full right to , but there... it's complete opposite :

[austinslounge]

So... The time as come. We can spill some tea, right? I'm talking about the Zendaya-Jacob-Kaia stuff. I don't know much, I only read rumors 'cause I really love Z. I remember I was shocking when in the first place I saw the Zendaya and Jacob pap pics, especially because she always has been private and I never liked him. And than, out of nowhere, he started dating Kaia, without any official announcement about the break up with Z. I don't know if rumors started with those pap pics, but I remember that someone said he cheated on Z on her birthday??? And correct me if I'm wrong, but he hadn't cheated on Joey King too? A cheater is a cheater and adding the rumors about the Lili-Cole-Kaia thing (I didn't know about this one, I recently find out) it seems a pattern. Am I miss something?

Oooo -- this is an interesting topic.

I'll spill!

I'm a fan of Zendaya, so I was following her relationship with Elordi back then, so I can only spill what I personally observed, and also what other fans in the fandom kind of felt during that time.

**DISCLAIMER -- This is just based on observation and what I've heard/seen circulating in the fandoms. Sip or Spit.

Click below 👇 to read more, if you dare lol:

Jacob & Joey

Yes, lots of Joey King fans feel that he cheated on Joey because Joey kind of alluded to it by some of her likes around the time of their split. She was liking a lot of cheating posts. 👀

Supposedly, word on the street is that Jacob had cheated on his Aussie gf with Joey. 😬

Jacob & Zendaya & Kaia

Jacob and Zendaya started dating after she and Tom broke up in 2019. Tom was spotted with some blonde chick in London, and then not too long after that, Zendaya started dating her Euphoria co-star Elordi. I think they got spotted in Greece sometime around August of 2019.

What's interesting is that Jacob met Kaia Gerber at some point the very next month in September of that same year at some fashion show/event.

It's funny, because around that time, Kaia and Tommy Dorfman (I think he's trans now?) used to hang out a lot together, and now, you almost never see her with him/her. Not sure what happened. Anyway, so Jacob used to be seen at the same events that Kaia was at, and he was always hanging out with her and her friends. Other fans of Zendaya and I all thought that was pretty sus. 👀

Link

At one party, Jacob was even seen flirting with Kaia on video, all while he's dating Zendaya and had just been papped in NYC kissing her in Feb 2020 (so they were definitely official).

In all honesty, those papped pics with the Elordi/Zendaya kiss all looked pretty staged to me, but we're not going to get into that lol. 👀/

Around early September, Zendaya fans noticed Jacob (who had now come back to the states from Australia during covid) hanging out with Kaia Gerber again, and it was at this point we knew for a fact that he and Zendaya had split up. We weren't even shocked to see Kaia and Jacob together tbh because we all saw signs that he was always hanging around her even while he and Zendaya were dating.

By March 2020, as we all know, the global pandemic hit, and Jacob flew off to Australia, and we all know what happened after that. 👀

Next thing we know, Jacob flew to LA in September, and guess who he's spotted with???

You guessed it! KAIA GERBER.

This article above from E! came out when they got spotted out, and they were still trying to pretend that they were just friends, but we fans knew what was up. 😒

Jacob didn't cheat on Zendaya on her birthday, it's just that those pictures of Kaia and Jacob came out on Zendaya's birthday (or around her birthday), so that's why some fans assumed that he cheated on her birthday.

Most fans and I feel that Jacob and Zendaya actually split up months before it was common knowledge, and before he even stepped foot back on US soil. We all know he was keeping in touch with Kaia all throughout their relationship though.

There's no way you're jumping right to another woman when you first step foot back in LA unless you've been chatting her up for a while before you even get back into the country.

That's another reason why I don't trust Kaia. Too many weird sus things follow her around. Then I also remember the whole weird Cole Sprouse/Lili breakup and how she was around that whole thing too. 🥴 The girl is sus.

Another thing that's weird ---- Kaia and Elordi were spotted the last time together at some Halloween party back in 2021.

The next thing you know, she and Elordi have split up, and she's immediately spotted with and dating Austin Butler in early December 2021.

I'm sorry, but if you're moving on that fast from your boyfriend of a year and immediately already out with some other guy almost less than a month later, you can't tell me that there wasn't some type of overlap, or you got hooked up by somebody.

I personally kind of wonder if Kaia had her eye on Austin for a while (maybe ever since the Lily Rose fling) 👀, and dropped Elordi for a chance with Austin. Jacob himself also moved on pretty quickly as well, and they both had articles come out on the same day with their new respective significant others. (Again, weird!) I just find it strange that we still to this day don't know how Austin and Kaia even met each other (maybe mutual friends?), but I suspect Kaia and Co. pulled some strings because they don't even fly in the same circles like that lol. Not to mention the stark age difference between the two of them. 🥴 She was only 20 guys. At least she and Elordi were in the same circles and were attending the same events together before they dated. There is photo evidence. So their pairing made more sense. With Austin, it's like, there was nothing, and then BAM! All of a sudden they're pictured together lol. 😅

So anyway -- that's all the tea I have for today. Thanks for stopping by for Tea Time at Austin's Lounge lol. 🤭

[alyjojo]

Yearly Tarot Reading 2025 🎏 - Capricorn Sun/Rising

Meditation: The Queen of Hearts ♥️ rose up out of the ground and declared “off with their heads!” The little trees surrounding her were covered in white roses, with a large red heart on the top of each one. All of the red hearts were cut from the trees on her command.

General: The Devil

Work: The Wheel of Fortune

Love: Temperance

Well…😬 okay. It’s not going to be easy, The Devil is a continuous battle for all of us, but especially Capricorn. Saturn is discipline and long-term effort, a very practical and fatherlike energy. Where The Devil comes into that is when the vision becomes narrow-minded or tunnel vision with not great intentions…greed, revenge, control especially and that’s what I’m seeing the most here. Control and anger issues are something you’re going to battle in yourself all year long - or at least that’s the general energy. Being tested, poked, triggered - Anger is your Oracle card, and repressed anger could work against you in several cases. Your attitude matters, and it’s showing up as extremely rigid and prideful at its worst. This is shadow work 💯

I’m getting something not being how you want it to be, maybe you have a narrow and well defined vision of what you’re expecting vs. what’s actually happening, or you’ve been doing something a specific way and you’re forced into doing things another way. It’s seriously triggering every anger response you’ve got, at times, some of which may touch on deep insecurities or ingrained habits or behaviors you haven’t consciously addressed.

There’s a potentially damaging control factor in everything you’ve got going on here - that’s what you’re forced to deal with. Triggered, on purpose, by Spirit - through whatever is going on around you. The Devil is spinning its wheels, on a Ferris wheel 🎡, doing the same things with the same results; to a level of toxic. Or obsession, control, materialism, feeling trapped, possibly an addiction for someone. Or a habit/behavior that’s existed for so long that it may as well be an addiction - and the feeling of being unable to escape it, or refusing to. There will be times where you feel out of control, life is out of control, and that could be your instinctive goal; to regain or maintain control, but the lesson shown is patience and rising above this. Inner demons.

This seems to concern…change. Growth. You want things to stay how they are, were, or towards something but *specifically* as you have them defined - and that’s not what’s happening. You’re being transitioned into some new beginning, some major changes that could be significantly different (over time) than it was before, what you’re used to, and you’re extremely resistant to that. Or others are, switch it however. I’m seeing someone managing an office and introducing new methods or training, everyone is resistant to whatever it is - that would fit with this Devil energy as well. Others could block your progress, especially at work, and maybe it’s been that way for a long time. Wheel of Fortune is very positive, lucky even, but it’s change, and it feels forced for most.

With work specifically, there’s been no progress due to inverted Leo, the more negative qualities or shadow of Leo, being that it came out reversed. Arrogance, ego, selfishness, stubbornness, acting like you’re better than the thing asked of you or others being this way towards you, something is “beneath” you or others to get with the program - and it’s being forced now. For some it’s your own attitude, or the people you’re dealing with at work, coworkers or corporate idk. Could definitely be a war over money, you could feel like you’re worth or owed more than you’re getting, and you’re being warned that whatever stance you’re taking with this could get you…well, nowhere. Not where you’re seeking to go anyway, there’s a need for caution. Some of you just need to leave this place, they’re not gonna change and it’s been long enough. Procrastination is shown as The Devil for those that have put up with a job that makes no effort to improve its conditions, pay, environment for someone - I’m seeing a really hot/cold room with no a/c or heat. Some of you will be leaving a job behind because you’ve had enough - but you’re pissed about it. Spirit doesn’t want you to be pissed about it - but open for the new.

Love is a similar vibe…maybe not because of love though, not for everyone. If you’re on and off with someone or you’re waiting on an ex, this is showing love is with someone new not old. If you’re in a well established connection with no issues, then this is showing the need to be patient with your communication and temperament generally…the Caps I’m getting in this reading have a hot head, could be rooted in this job issue - a lack of stability makes an earth sign lose their mind. Cap wants to climb the mountain and succeed, wasting their time with no return on the investment is irritating af. And karmic? Wheel of Fortune can show destiny…this could just be a stepping stone. One to get to the other, a leg up or something. A necessary struggle, or that’s what you’ve heard for years already. Aaand we’re back on work again 😆 I’m hearing “that applies” to your energy - everything is rooted in work issues and the Devil energy that’s coming from that, for most. You hate it but don’t change it out of fear, The Devil, you’ve got bills and something “reliable” (is it?) established - what if this is the best it gets? That’s the wrong attitude 🙏 One of you could have insanely high standards on a job search, like you’re only going for CEO positions or something and that’s not happening, it’s coming in like a side note, not for everyone.

Back to love. Whether it’s a new love or a new start in a current relationship…I keep hearing the name Ann, you’re meant to be Ascending over old issues in any case. Keeping calm, being reconciliatory and patient towards the process or the connection, taking things one day at a time. You’re overcoming issues within yourself, and others could need to be patient as well, it’s important to communicate when you’re feeling off or stressed, pissed off, whatever - so others know when to step up and let you go be moody, relax, decompress, whatever you need. Speaketh your needs dear. Singles are impatient af, when are they coming? When? WHEN? It doesn’t say. The Devil would show obsession and a need for patience and release of whatever is in your head - I assume whoever they are isn’t that. You’re obsessed with finding a cowboy and your soulmate is a surfer, you’re not gonna find (or appreciate) them in this triggered, controlling, obsessed kind of energy. When you’re at peace in yourself, you’ve battled your demons and moved on, then you’ll find them.

The advice is showing to head towards the new. New job, new partner, new hobbies, new something - what life do you want for yourself? Visualize what you want, speak it out loud. If you were free of this Devil, or any restrictions in your life at all, what would you do? Why can’t you do that now? Spirit wants you to stop Procrastinating on taking action where things clearly aren’t improving, stop with any power trips or ego games, addictions, habits, things that keep you stuck - where it’s on your end. You can’t control others but control yourself, your temper, expectations on some level, but also do your part in making this better rather than refusing, with your arms folded, like you’re entitled to that or something. There’s been no movement so far to overcome this Devil, it’s stagnant and stalled - attitude 💯

But if you focus on the new, what you want, and work towards freeing yourself of these behaviors or things, the anger, resentment, endless cycle of no progress, no change, you’ll feel free and better able to actually bring these things into your reality. Meditation could be important for you with Temperance here. Some of you may have been enablers of Devil behavior on some level, with others, that stops now (or needs to or will). Same for if others have been enabling your own addictions, habits, or bad behaviors, where that applies. It’s a year of shadow work and transitioning from that - to what’s healthier, better, less pressure and stress, release and letting go. Don’t allow yourself to be sidetracked, but don’t see an end goal so specifically that you resist any other change either. Spirit doesn’t tend to work in an A to B way, there are lessons involved, and they tend to know what you need…more than what you want, or before you get it. Again, cowboy and surfer is what I’m seeing. If you’re looking for a CEO job or a cowboy only, you’re going to be disappointed because Spirit is over here sighing like���you’re in your own way. You’d break your surfer’s heart right now, and you’d hate this CEO job actually, your true path is to be a bus 🚌 driver for the child you have later on with the surfer that changes your life, and you’ll love it, you know? All of that is what I’m given here, idk if it’s literal or not, maybe. The goal is to open your mind to other things that maybe aren’t “your” things. Or your way.

That’s why Spirit is showing a need to Visualize, loosely. How do you want to feel? What does happy look like to you? More money? More time? More love? What kind of love? Save the details, that’s for Spirit, it’s more like they’re waiting for you to Ascend over your current situation, process, habits, struggles, learn, and heal (or overcome addiction - that’s big) - and while you’re doing that, the changes that will be occurring within and around you (simultaneously) will ultimately be moving you towards where you want to go. Eventually, but you have work to do on yourself first. You can only control yourself, you’re encouraged to, and “let go and let God”, with your efforts to change. Or when you’re forced into change, know it’s for the best. If you don’t try to flow with the process, and make necessary changes, you’re just in your own way & wasting your own time. There’s a lot of coasting going on, or will be, either because of you & issues you have (I keep seeing addiction) or because of others and you’re losing your shit. Breathe 🧘‍♂️ You’ve got a whole year to process, visualize, change, and “get with the program,” I’m hearing. Your own, the one you don’t even know you want, it all takes time. Time could be why you’re angry.

The new is on the horizon, and it doesn’t seem like anything that’s going to crash through your wall one day. Slow moving, patience, daily effort; over time you’ll be in another headspace where you’ll see how a new path is more beneficial to you than this current one, whatever keeps you stuck, even if it’s you. Or it just happens and you don’t even realize it till it’s here, you just kept moving and it showed up naturally. Spirit wants you to get there too but “it’s a process.” Shadow work is very difficult, The Devil is no joke. One day at a time leads to progress if you’re consistently tackling your/any demons. One day at a time leads to same shit different day if you don’t ❤️ Procrastination shows both applying.

Zodiac Signs: Heavy Sagittarius, Cancer, Capricorn, Gemini & inverted Leo

Numbers: 54, 71, 28, 7, and 2.

10’s, things needing to end. No Aces & that’s what’s needed: inspiration, vision, clarity, “cutting off heads” if it’s Swords like your meditation, and then moving towards the 2. Cooperation, partnership, a decision, a plan, actually taking shape and moving forward. Natural progression. Handle what needs handling to move to the next stage, it’s simple in theory…but it’s The Devil, the most intense challenges. There’s no rush or time limits I can see, plenty of time, it’s up to you/Spirit/circumstances to decide when/how you release yourself from this. New things in all forms will bring you closer to the energy, mind set, inspiration or motivation that will bring you what you want. A change in you is what’s important, then all the other stuff will fall into place it looks like.

[nixthelapin]

Humble suggestion: while I love the Guardian Marinette stuff in s4, I think a cool different route for s4 would’ve been to basically jumpstart s5 early by having Hawkmoth never lose the Miracle Box at the end of s3.

Now, Miracle Queen was obviously the fandom’s least favorite episode (that is now in debate with s5 finished, but I digress). But I think ending it on a low note like s4 did would’ve been so cool, and also help with some of the show’s plot armor.

The specific plot armor I’m referring to: Marinette has all but 2 Miraculouses as her disposal, and yet they make no progress against Shadowmoth. It’s literally 17 v 2. They almost won against him with just 5 (s2 finale) and only didn’t because they were caught off guard by Mayura. Hawkmoth upgrading to Shadowmoth does nothing to really make him stronger other than making it easier to make senti beings, which they have already faced before.

The proposal: Miracle Queen happens mostly like canon, they use the existing Miraculous users to fight Ladybug & Chat Noir, but Hawkmoth and Mayura keep the rest, maybe even hide the Miraculouses (and let’s say they take them out of the box to use the box as a decoy so when Fu changes ownership, they won’t be trapped inside). Ladybug and Chat get the Miraculouses from the active users back, so not all of them are lost. So, to keep track:

Hero Team: ladybug, black cat, fox, turtle, bee, snake, dragon, horse, monkey (9)

Villain Team: (everything else) butterfly, peacock, rabbit, tiger, ox, mouse, pig, rooster, goat, dog (10)

So it’s almost an even match! (In terms of numbers at least… those power sets are arguable 😬)

But! It has the same Ladybug-guilt issues as s5 (her feeling at fault for losing them) because she accidentally led Hawkmoth to Fu, and I think it helps solve the issue of how many individual new Miraculous episodes they had to stuff into s4 before she lost them at the end (Penalteam was really doing overtime lol).

I do think this version would lose the Alliance rings, but it would be good ground for setting up some kind of villain team instead. Probably not with all of them at once- while that would be smart to overwhelm the heroes, Gabe doesn’t have that many allies 😂. Natalie is half dead and that just leaves the psycho 14 year old (Lila).

The heroes could also win back the Rabbit like they did in s5 with the time chase (with some tweaking because the dynamics of the two would be different from that point). Because that thing is WAY too powerful to let the villains keep yet not let them win with it (not this time, plot armor!) At least with the heroes they have the excuse of “don’t mess with the time continuum,” which hawky clearly wouldn’t care about.

Thoughts?? This was just a tangent thought that popped up out of nowhere, so there are probably some holes, but I think it’s a fun idea! Any other suggestions or add-ons? Or do you think I’m totally off my rocker? I’d love to hear anything!

[for-king-and-cordonia]

My thoughts so far on HS2 LI routes

Andy/Loy: uhhh yeah..... These 2 are by far the worst obviously. Absolutely terrible to kill them off and then let Vicky just forget about them? No. It's why it took me so long to try the other routes in HS2, I couldn't get over how Alisa killed off Andy in my first playthrough.

Dino: I think most of his route makes sense. His character is the most consistent with HS1, although he appears weaker at times. But this can be forgiven because of the whole situation. At the start he's obviously super conflicted, he tries to take care of Vicky and his relationship has a nice build-up. The family time, while awkward obviously with Fencio, makes sense. The suicide scene makes sense with how he reacts to Vicky stabbing herself. The wedding is obviously something he's been working towards in his head for ages and it fits their relationship.

Lucifer: honestly..... I hate to say this but HS2 made me hate Luci? To me he was second-best in HS1, so to now suddenly hate him is a big step. He lays it on too thick in the beginning with Plague, but he does come around eventually. The family time is weird but still not completely bizarre. The time in hell was super weird. This is where his character as I understood it was completely assassinated. The suicide scene is fine. The wedding came out of nowhere to be honest, and it felt super forced how lovey-dovey he was suddenly being.

Malbonte: I think the beginning was very rough. But at some point he suddenly goes from 0 to 60, and it's left me with whiplash. Vicky makes ZERO SENSE in his route. Like why has she never figured out that after wanting to kill one god, he'll obviously also want to kill the other?? After 10 years sleeping together and waking up together? Like wtffff. The family time can go die in a fire, it was that terrible and weird. I hate Rebecca on Malbonte's route even more than I already do! The suicide scene makes ZERO sense, again.... Why the fuck is Malbonte suddenly powerless? It was like the suicide scene had to happen so everyone was forced into it whether they fit or not. How did he think it was going to work out to have all of them die and.... Not defeat Shephamalum? I mean who would be left to do it? So bizarre. I don't even want to acknowledge the build-up to the wedding, like wtf?? Suddenly Malbonte is some lovey-dovey doting husband and partner? Whattttt? I just don't even think they're the same character anymore! The wedding however made up for it, that was pretty good.

Astaroth: was he one of the added LIs? Holy retcon.... Still it was an enjoyable route and with proper fleshed out scenes it could have been amazing. Wasted on this book tbh. The family time was pretty sweet with Christopher there but Rebecca is insufferable... The suicide scene was nice and angsty. The wedding was lovely, and I loved that the wedding speech was given by Christopher and we didn't have to listen to that witch again.

Hunger: actually such a wholesome route... If Malbonte hadn't improved so drastically, I would be tempted to choose him as my favourite. The family time was absolutely horrendous like wtf, but at least it made some sense... The suicide scene made some sense too, since Hunger was apparently not aware of what was going to happen. The wedding was weird AF but loved Hunger's reaction to everything.

War: sorry I despise his cardboard character and his sprite is super ugly to me so.... Won't be playing his route. 😬

Mimi: I actually despise what HS2 did with her. What happened to my sassy strong snarky Mimi?? 😢

[cfr749]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by the wonderfully kind and lovely @coraclavia. If you haven't checked out her work, go do it right now!!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 19

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 354,235

3. What fandoms do you write for? The Rookie!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Beneath Your Beautiful... queue Isn't it ironic by Alanis Morissette 😬

Want You to Stay

However Do You Want Me

One Time Thing

Lucy's Little Secret

5. Do you respond to comments?

I absolutely try to, but sometimes I get behind. Tbh I usually want to respond the minute I see one come in, but don't want to scare anyone lmao. But I read every single one, often multiple times. And you might just get a response from me two years later 😂

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh man... I think this has to be We Built Sandcastles, because I have yet to give it an ending and it hurts me too. I'm so sorry. 😭

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm gonna go with However Do You Want Me... what's happier than banging on an airplane to save the world?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really... thankfully, 99.9% of the interaction I've had on my fics has been positive and that's a testament to how wonderfully supportive this fandom is of its creators 😭

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yup... the horny kind? Lol... queue Lovin on Me by Jack Harlow. I am pretty vanilla, and I do usually focus a lot on the emotional aspects over the physical. I also generally prefer writing the foreplay over the actual tactics of banging, but I try.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Lol... well... one time when I was 13 I may have written an AU where Justin Timberlake and Nick Carter were normal boys attending the same high school 😂...

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Thankfully, I don't think so!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

I don't think so, but any time someone does comment on one of my fics in another language, I am just honored and blown away that they found it entertaining enough to work through the language barrier.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Want You to Stay with the amazing @poppypickle. I will always be so thankful that the Chenford fandom brought us together, and so grateful for that creative experience. Truly one of the coolest things I've ever done. ❤️

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I think Chenford still holds this crown.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

We Built Sandcastles, but I actually haven't written anything I've truly given up on. I still think about this universe and write down bits and pieces here and there. I'm also still working on Beneath Your Beautiful!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Weird reality TV AUs? Sexual tension? Feelings?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably too much exposition / time in the character's heads spelling out their motivations vs. letting readers come to their own conclusions.

I'm not always consciously aware of it in my own writing, but sometimes I suspect I'm a little sappier than what I'd normally I prefer to read.

Also I'm slow and sometimes leave my readers hanging for extremely long periods of time (I'm so sorry).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends on the context, but, for me, I'd have a hard time without a native speaker to consult with. No strong feelings against it though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

BSB + NSYNC

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I'm going to go with one I haven't mentioned yet, which is Cruel Summer because that fic was utterly batshit, came out of literally nowhere, and was so much fun to write!

--

Thanks for the tag, Cora!

I am tagging @poppypickle @queseraone @goodgirlssayiloveyoutoo @rememberthismomentx @thisnightissparkling089 @makeitastrength and @summerongrand (apologies if y'all have already done this and I missed it)!

[youremyheaven]

What you said about punarvasu men is literally my dad💀

He’s a punarvasu moon (I thought he was an ardra moon bc he lacks self discipline with alcohol/spending/food but I think Jupiter suits him more), with revati venus sun and mercury conjunction all within one degree.

As for his ascendant, it can only be from purvaphalguni to anuradha. My main theories are actually those two naks themselves or just leo/scorpio rashi in general because I think he might have pp mars 1H or Jyestha ketu 1H. Also I think he might be UP asc.

He also is very similar in many ways to my brother, who is dhanishta moon, hasta sun, magha asc (my brother is an actual menace but based off his placements I doubt I need to elaborate much further as to why). Anyway lmk what you think👀

But yeah here are some things about my punarvasu dad:

-He does have himbo vibes sometimes and is quite confident in his femininity. For example, growing up he would wear pink sometimes and do sweet things for me, like give me food at school that he’d bought if he just happened to be in the area

-However do not be fooled guys, he is huge misogynist😬 he regularly makes degrading comments towards women who act a certain way (calling them “bimbos”/”barbie”), and whenever someone is driving badly on the road he automatically assumes they’re a woman.

-Literally so rude and disrespectful to everyone except his mother (passed for unknown reasons years ago) and this 90 yr old woman he knows😭 I imagine he’s not rude to his customers at work but that man always has something bad to say! He talks shit about people constantly.

-Has anyone else noticed that punarvasu moons have weird relationships with their mothers? They’re either obsessed or they hate them

- He’s a huge megalomaniac and needs to be in control of us at all times. He needs to have everything a certain way and gets very angry at you if you deviate from it. He often spoils my brother (who is still a child) with the intention of getting him to like him more than my mother. This includes buying him expensive gifts, and when my mother scolds my brother over his bad behaviour, he goes crying to my dad who proceeds to coddle him and act like she’s the bad guy.

My dad has encouraged my brother when he’s been physically abusive or degrading to my mother several times😬

He once told my brother at the airport “I don’t care if you don’t listen to your mother or any of your teachers at school, but you must listen to me. I’m the boss. Ok?” It sounded way more controlling irl but I’m just paraphrasing.

- He’s very into tarot, thelemism and astral projection and gets very preachy about it lol

- He is very disrespectful towards my mothers family (my mother is from an Eastern European 2nd world country) and degrades them for being stupid/unmarried/etc. He has this longstanding beef with my maternal grandma (UBP moon, mula sun, certified girlboss) for being eratic and controlling esp towards my mother growing up (he literally acts the exact same way)

- He is very erratic and gets angry very easily. He’s broken a several things in our house just from his temper tantrums

- Talking about erratic, he is so mean when he’s pissed off you. My brother got in trouble at school when he was ~10 yo once and my dad had a rant at him about how he’s going nowhere in life, he’s going to be a bum, he’s clumsy, etc. He once told me I was tearing the family apart bc I annoyed my brother at the dinner table💀 but we can’t criticise him for this bc it’s “his business”. It’s all just a huge power trip.

-After getting angry at you, he’ll do the whole I’m sorry🥺 act. GIRL GET OUT😂

-Very irresponsible, acts impulsively and expects everyone else to just work around his schedule

- He either has weaponised incompetence or has this one household chore that only he does bc he’s “better” at it than anyone else

Sorry about the trauma dump 🤪 but yeah Jupiter men slander!!! They’re always on this moral high horse until its them

im gonna make a separate post about Jupiter men (lots of slander included, sorry not sorry)

im sorry to hear about your brother's placements 💀🤐

BBG Revati Sun, Punarvasu Moon & either Purvaphalguni or Anuradha Rising??? 😭😭😭HOW DO U AND UR MOM COPEEEE

I'm sorry to hear about your experiences and highkey worried about your brother 😬

Mercurial men are sex addicts and often vvv misogynistic. We've already established how manipulative they can be so I won't repeat that but I wouldn't touch a Mercurial man (unless he was a Jyeshta billionaire 🤪🤭lmfao jk) Jupiter men have always been so unattractive to me, I hate their energy 🤮🤢🤮 even with all the sweet natured kind whatever behaviour, I'm always sus about them. My friend's abusive ex was a Punarvasu Moon and oh lordy lord??? she told him she needed a break from him and he went to her house with their horoscopes matched (kundli Milan tingz for my desis yk what's up) ???? and he asked her strict conservative parents who would never allow her to date, for her hand in marriage??? like that was some power move bc he knew going that route meant robbing her of any choice in the matter. Also fellas, if a girl dumps you NEVER go to her family to propose marriage to her wtf. This guy would often threaten to kill her if she left him as well btw 😬😬

Fortunately for my friend, her parents were like 🤨we need to consult with our family astrologer and their astro guy said that they were a terrible match for each other and that if they got married there is a high chance she would die???? (no shit sherlock) they turned him away but he was still persistent af so they performed some poojas/rituals to get rid of him 😶‍🌫️😌✨💀 and he's been gone since lolziez

Venusian men can be sexually predatory but they usually have low self esteem and based on what you said about his misogyny and thinking of himself as above others (also a result of Jupiter influence) I feel like he's more Saturnian? 🧐 (Anuradha over Purvaphalguni Rising that is)

There is another Vishaka Moon man ik who has very effeminate mannerisms. He's not "in touch with his feminine side" or whatever, he's just a regular Indian man (derogatory) but his body language and mannerisms be giving twink vibes (he's 6'1 atleast with a bulky build and the contrast between the two is amazing to watch) I'm not queershaming or being homophobic 😭😭😭 but many Indian men can be vvv feminine ish and it lowkey creeps me out 😐 sorry but they'll simultaneously hate women, not be woke or liberal in the slightest and act like every straight asshole but with a fruity ✨twist 💀

[ridiculously-over-obsessed]

hurt/comfort prompts #2 pls! (i was hoping you'd reblog the list 😄)

Djskldjdf hurt/comfort is my wheelhouse I couldn't resist that list when I saw it 😂 also please consider this my formal apology for what's about to transpire 😬🩵

Hurt/Comfort Prompts

(although I would totally understand if no-one wanted to ask for another prompt ever again after this 😭)

(2) "You can hold my hand, if it makes you feel safer."

Beca ran a hand through the hair as she stepped through the Emergency Room doors, looking around her as she tried to find the person who had frantically called her.

"Becs?"

"Chloe...." Beca breathed, stepping through the crowd of people towards her pale and trembling friend, a frown pulling at her eyebrows, "You're hurt."

"I'm fine." Chloe shook her head, tears in her eyes as she swallowed thickly, one arm in a sling and a dressing taped to her forehead, "It's just a couple of scrapes and bruises, it's nothing."

"Yeah, you're right, they just give slings away for fun." Beca snorted, "What happened?"

"I was driving her to the airport..." Chloe's voice was suddenly very quiet, looking down at the floor as Beca gently encouraged her to sit down again, "Like I always do, it's the same route we always take, I wasn't speeding or running stop signs or-"

"Hey." Beca felt her stomach knot seeing Chloe so visibly distressed, wanting to soothe her, "Chloe, no-one thinks this was your fault."

"He just came out of nowhere." Chloe shook her head bitterly, tears streaming down her cheeks, "He plowed right into us Beca, one minute we were talking, and the next everything was upside down and she wasn't moving or talking or anything..."

"I'm sorry Chloe..." Beca sighed, "That must have been really scary for you."

"It was." Chloe sniffled, "I... I'm really glad you came Becs, I didn't want to sit here alone."

"Of course." Beca shrugged, "Look, Posen and I might not be best of friends, but she's still family. I wanted to be here. The other Bellas are coming too, they're just finishing up their classes."

"She loves you in her own weird way, you know that right?" Chloe looked up from her lap, "She's just... closed off Beca. You get that right?"

"Yeah." Beca nodded, "I do Chlo. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'll be fine." Chloe shrugged, "I'm just scared Beca. I don't think I've ever been this scared in my whole life. I'm a really safe driver, I pride myself on it, today's the first time I've ever felt unsafe..."

Beca sighed softly again, her stomach in knots. Chloe had been beside herself, almost incomprehensably hysterical when she had picked up the phone an hour ago, and no wonder. Aubrey had come down to visit the Bellas in Georgia for the weekend as she often did, freshly graduated but finding she still missed spending time with her sisters. Chloe didn't have any classes the morning she was due to fly back home, so she had offered her a ride to the airport, a chance for the two of them to spend a little one-on-one time together before Aubrey went home.

So when Beca got a call from Chloe that they'd been in an accident not twenty minutes after they'd set off, her heart had dropped like a lead weight. She could hear the sound of sirens in the background, Chloe sobbing into the phone, Beca able to make out words like 'unconcious' and 'blood in her ear'. She and Aubrey had their differences last year, but by the time the ICCA Finals had rolled around they had buried the hatchets, closer than Beca had ever thought she'd be to her type-A pain in the ass captain.

Beca had made quick work of alerting the group chat to what had happened, distressed text messages following her own, with promises that they would all join Beca and Chloe as soon as they could. She had spent the whole way there trying to wrap her head around events, trying not to think of the worst case scenarios, not just for Aubrey but for Chloe too. She had spoken to her, had been responsive and alert even if she'd been upset, Chloe was okay. She had to be okay.

"It's going to be okay." Beca mumbled, moving a little closer to Chloe, "This is Aubrey Posen we're talking about, she's a stubborn ass, no way she's letting a little car accident keep her down."

Chloe managed a small giggle, pursing her lips as her uninjured hand tugged at the hem of her t-shirt absentmindedly, "I'm really scared Becs. What if she's not? They took her in for brain surgery..."

"You can hold my hand, if it makes you feel safer." Beca gave her a small smile as Chloe looked up from the floor, "Or less scared or whatever... just don't tell anyone I offered, I have a reputation to maintain."

"Thanks Beca." Chloe reached and took Beca's hand, squeezing it tightly as she closed the gap between them, resting her head on her shoulder to boot, "I'm really glad you came."

"Of course." Beca could feel her cheeks turning red as she felt Chloe's breath on her neck, swallowing hard against the lump of unspoken feelings in her throat.

"Have you called her folks?"

"Yeah, they're getting the next flight out from North Carolina." Chloe nodded, "I didn't tell them much, just that we'd been in an accident and Aubrey was on her way up to surgery. I didn't want to freak them out before they got here."

"That's a good call Chlo." Beca nodded, savouring the smell of Chloe's shampoo as she turned her head a little to rest atop hers.

She would never admit it out loud, but Beca had been stone cold terrified on her way here that something awful had happened to Chloe that she had played down over the phone. The idea that Chloe could be hurt or dying when she wasn't there to try and fix it made Beca feel more lost and scared than she'd ever been in her life. Whether it was just a schoolgirl crush or something more, Beca could no longer deny that the feelings she had for Chloe went beyond "she's my best friend", not after she'd had to pull her car over to throw up at the side of the road because the fear had turned her stomach.

"I'm staying right here until someone comes to tell us what's going on." Beca gave Chloe's hand a squeeze, "You don't have to be scared on your own. That's what family's for Chloe."

"I know." Chloe nodded a little, "Thank you."

Beca didn't say anything, simply holding Chloe's hand in hers and watching the hustle and bustle of the ER waiting around them. It wasn't long before she felt Chloe grow heavier against her shoulder, breathing deep and even as she still held her hand tightly. No wonder she'd fallen asleep, after everything that she had been through today Beca would probably have fallen asleep too. She hoped it was a testament to how safe Chloe felt with her here.

It was three hours of sitting in uncomfortable chairs, of Chloe snoring softly on her shoulder and the Bellas arriving in droves to sit with them, before someone finally came to give them an update.

"Aubrey Posen?"

"That's us." Beca gently stirred Chloe from her nap on her shoulder, "How is she?"

"You're family?" The doctor frowned a little as he looked around at the women staring expectantly at him.

"Yes." Beca's tone grew sharper and irritated as Chloe bit her lip, rubbing at her eye with her uninjured hand, sensing the panic that was already starting to radiate off her.

"We're her family. She'd say as much herself."

"Okay." The doctor nodded, "She's out of surgery now, and on her way to the ICU. We managed to stop the bleeding on her brain, and repair the lacerations to her spleen and liver too. We're still worried about her kidneys, and we won't know about lasting brain injures until she wakes up, but she's out of the woods for now."

"What are her odds on being completely fine?" Beca pushed, feeling Chloe's hand slide back into hers and grip it tightly.

"As of right now, about sixty percent." The doctor was calm as the Bellas seemed to crumple at the news, "I know that seems really low, but it's the best that we can hope for right now."

"Right..." Beca rubbed at her forehead with her free hand, "Can we see her?"

"Not right now." The doctor shook his head, "I'm sorry, but once she's been moved to the ICU we can think about visitors. I'll let you know when that is."

"Thanks." Beca mumbled, running her thumb over Chloe's knuckles as she felt her start to shake against her again, "We'll be right here."

The doctor left the Bellas to sit with the news, Chloe whimpering softly as she clung to Beca's hand.

"She has to be okay Beca..." She whispered, Beca able to feel her tears against her neck, "She has to be okay."

"I know." Beca mumbled, sighing heavily as she looked around at the Bellas, knowing they all shared the same sentiment, "She will."

-----

Aubrey pursed her dry lips, brows furrowing as the world swam sluggishly into view. She felt heavy and slow, like she was wading through treacle as she tried to lift her hand to rub at her sore head.

"Hey... you're awake."

Aubrey managed to turn her head towards the familiar voice, finding a grinning Beca sat next to her, feeling her hand take hers.

"How are you feeling Bree?"

"Ow." Aubrey rasped, Beca's grin growing, "Water?"

"Uh, hang on, let me grab some ice chips, that's what the nurse said you could have." Beca quickly got to her feet, leaving the room for a second and returning a few seconds later with a cup full of ice chips.

She silently helped a few slide past Aubrey's cracked lips, fighting the malestrom of emotions inside at seeing her former acapella captain's eyes open again.

"Better?" She asked as Aubrey sank back into her pillows, looking utterly exhausted.

"Mhm." Aubrey mumbled, eyelids flutterung shut for a moment, "Thanks."

"No problem." Beca settled back in the chair next to her bed again, the same place she'd been sat for almost a week now, "It's good to see you awake Posen, you scared the crap out of us for a minute there."

"What happened?" Aubrey's eyes opened slowly again, Beca scooting her chair a little closer.

"What do you remember?"

"We set off for the airport..." Aubrey huffed out a sigh, "Chloe was telling me about your setlist for the ICCAs and then... nothing."

"You were in a car wreck." Beca took her hand again, "It was pretty bad Bree, like brain surgery bad. You've been in a coma for almost a week."

"Chloe." Aubrey's hooded eyelids flew open as realisation hit her, "Is she okay?"

"Um..." Beca swallowed thickly, eyes flicking down to her feet again, "Not really. We thought she was, that it was a couple of cuts and bruises and a dislocated shoulder but... there was a bleed that they missed, it didn't show up on any of the scans they did."

"What... what happened?"

Beca looked up, stomach in knots as she saw the tears in Aubrey's eyes. She'd never seen Aubrey cry, never seen her look so scared and so lost, and she hated it. She was the strongest person Beca knew, if Aubrey fell apart she didn't know how she'd keep herself together.

"They rushed her in to operate and repair the damage but um... she... she didn't make it off the table."

Beca felt sick again as she relived the moment that the surgeon had somberly stepped out of the operating room, how her legs had gone out from underneath her, how she had let out a scream so painful and tortured it felt like she had ripped herself open. It felt like she had, like losing Chloe had robbed her of part of herself too. She didn't remember much of the immediate aftermath, just snatches of sobbing and numbness, of Stacie cradling her in her arms as she cried herself sick, of the Bellas grief as raw as her own.

Beca hadn't left the hospital since that day, telling herself and the Bellas it was because she had to be there to tell Aubrey what had happened when she woke up, but it wasn't the whole truth. She couldn't go back to the house, couldn't walk past Chloe's bedroom knowing she wasn't in there and she wouldn't ever be again. Aubrey's parents would have told her about Chloe, would have arguably been far better at comforting her than Beca would, but she didn't want that. It had to be Beca that told her.

"No..."

Aubrey's expression crumpled as her hand tightened around Beca's, tears starting to run down her cheeks.

"Beca it's a mistake."

"It's not." Beca felt her own tears burning at the corner of her eyes again, "I wish it was Bree, I'm so sorry."

Aubrey opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to find her words but none came. Instead, she started to sob harder, Beca getting up from her seat and onto Aubrey's hospital bed, careful of the wires and tubes as she embraced her. Beca hated hugging people, hated people being in her personal space, but she knew that if Chloe were here she would never forgive her for not comforting Aubrey like this. Beca wasn't a hugger, but Chloe was, and right now Aubrey needed Chloe and not her.

"I'm sorry." Bexa whispered into her hair, voice thick as her own tears starting to take over, "I wish it was me instead, I'd give anything to switch places with her."

"She- she l-loved you." Aubrey sobbed against Beca's chest, "It's n-not fair, she was supposed to t-tell you, y_you were supposed to- supposed to-"

"She did tell me." Beca's words stuck in her throat as she tried to soothe Aubrey, "It... it was the last conversation we had."

-----

"What's taking them so long?" Chloe grumbled, head resting on Beca's shoulder as they stood in front of the vending machines.

"I don't know." Beca sighed, looking at the contents of the machine in front of her, "You'll be able to see her soon Chloe, they'll be making sure she's okay to have visitors."

Chloe simply sighed, her good hand still holding Beca's. She hadn't relinquished her hold of her hand since Beca had offered it to her for more than a few seconds, Beca surpisingly not saying a word about it. Maybe she needed the comfort as much as Chloe did.

"We were talking about you."

"What?" Beca's attentin was torn from the selection of snacks in front of her, "Why, what did I do this time?"

Chloe giggled as she shook her head, lifting it from Beca's shoulder as she grinned at her.

"Why do you think it was bad?"

"I dunno." Beca shrugged, "It's Aubrey, she's nit picky, I always assume I did something wrong."

"You're so dramatic Beca." Chloe rolled her eyes, "You didn't do anything wrong, not this time anyway."

"Okay..." A smirk started to pull at Beca's lips, "So why were you talking about me then weirdo?"

"Because I love you." Chloe's grin dropped to a smile, squeezing Beca's hand as she lent into her, "Because I've loved you from the moment we met and Aubrey was trying to convince me to tell you rather than keeping it bottled up."

"Oh." Beca had gone bright red, brain short curcuiting as she tried find any words that were better than 'oh'.

"And it's okay if you don't feel the same." Chloe shrugged a little, "Because I still want to be your friend Beca, even if you don't feel the same. But life is way too short to... to not..."

Chloe had started to sway slightly, a frown starting to pull at her expression as the coliur drained from her face.

"Chlo?" Beca frowned, letting go of Chloe's hand so she could Chloe's face in her hands, finding her brilliant blue eyes to be hazy and unfocused.

"I don't feel good..." Chloe mumbled, starting to crumple in Beca's arms.

"Chloe?!" Beca caught her, lowering them both to the ground, "Hey! Someone help!"

Beca's attention turned back to Chloe as she shook her gently, trying to keep her awake as she heard people scrambling around her to find some help.

"You're okay." Beca shook her head, lips pursed, "Chloe wake up, you're going to be fine, c'mon. You don't get to say something like that and then die in my arms, that's dramatic even by your standards."

"I..." Chloe was trying to find her words as her eyes searched Beca's, "I..."

"It's okay." Beca shook her head, brushing her her from her eyes, "Chloe it's okay, I love you too. I love you, please don't die on me."

"Beca..." A small smile tugged at Chloe's lips as she grew heavier in her arms, Beca frantically looking around them for someone that was coming to help, "I k-knew it. I knew Aubrey was right... I... love... you..."

-----

"This one's for you Chlo." Beca mumbled, hand rising up to briefly clasp the necklace she wore.

It was almost six months since Chloe had died. Six long, achingly empy months that Beca had endured while trying to navigate this new normal. Aubrey had needed extensive physical therapy to learn to do basic things again, teaching herself to eat and walk and put her own clothes on from scratch. Beca and the Bellas had been there every frustratingly small step of the way, putting up with Aubrey's mood swings and her short temper no matter how often she snapped at them.

The Beales had arrived in Georgia not long after Aubrey had woken up, and things had progressed quickly from there. Far too quickly for Beca as she watched them pack up Chloe's room, removing every trace of her from the Bella House, wanting all the pieces of theor daughters life to grieve over. That was what she had thought anyway until Chloe's mom had quietly entered her room with a large box in hand, setting it next to Beca on the bed and then holding her as Beca had sobbed into her chest.

Chloe had told them all about Beca, about everyrhing she felt for her best friend, and neither of her parents had any desire to take Chloe away from her. So a box with some of Chloe's jumpers, her CDs, her journals and some other sentimental items were Beca's to keep, as was a part of Chloe herself.

She had been cremated, and Beca was given a necklace that had a portion of Chloe's ashes stored safely within an intricate heart design. Beca hadn't taken it off since she had been given it at the funeral, somwhow having a part of Chloe like this had lifted some of the crushing weight from her chest.

Chloe was still with her, still with their family as they all returned to the rountine of college, and eventually of the ICCAs. Beca hadn't wanted to at first, hadn't wanted to perform without Chloe by her side, couldn't face the prospect of having to fill the hole in their choreography or their vocals that had been left.

But when Aubrey had insisted that Beca continued with their plans for this years competition, had all but bullied Beca out of her bed and into a rehearsal, Beca realised she didn't gave to. Not this year anyway. The gap in formation would remain, the missing layer from their vocals wouldn't be restored, and that was okay. It was their way of honouring Chloe, of grieving a loss too big for words. There was no filling Chloe's spot, and that was okay, because no-one could ever fill that gap for them. They would always be a family member down, and pretending otherwise would do none of them any good.

So now, in front of the judges, their fellow acapella singers, and fans, the Barden Bellas would perform in the ICCA finals for Chloe. They would bring home the trophy for the woman who had always believed in them, even when they didn't believe in themselves.

As they sang and danced, performing their hearts out, Beca felt as though Chloe was watching, that if there was some kind of heaven she was sitting on a cloud somewhere and cheering them on with an enthuasism that far outpaced the packed crowd in the theatre. She looked up in the seconds before her solo, half convinced that she could see the beaming grin of the woman she loved shining back at her before she stepped forward.

This one was for Chloe.

"One by one, only the good die young... they're only flyin' too close to the sun, and life goes on... without you..."

Beca had made it through qualifiers and regionals and the quarter and semi finals without shedding a tear, too numb with loss to register the emotions behind her choice for this set as the fast paced number mellowed and sombered. But in the bright lights of the Lincoln Centre, knowing this was her last time performing this set, performing for Chloe so openly, she felt them welling in her eyes with such a force that she was amazed she could still sing.

"Another tricky situation, I get to drowin' in the blues, and I find myself thinkin', well, what would you do?"

"Ooh..."

As the Bellas harmonised around her, Beca let her head drop for a moment, trying to pull herself together to finish. She had to finish, this was for Chloe, she had to keep going.

"Yes, it was such an operation...

"Ooh."

"Forever paying every due.. "

Beca looked gratefully to Sracie who had picked up her solo, breaking formation to stand with Beca and shore her up. She gently wiped a tear from Beca's cheek, her own falling as freely as Beca nodded that she was okay to continue.

"Hell, you made a sensation! You found a way through..."

Beca poured everything she had into her next lines, head high as she belted the lines not to her audience but up high into the air, up to Chloe who she knew was watching them.

"Touch my tears... with your lips... touch my world... with your fingertips... and we can have forever... and we can love forever... forever is our today!"

Beca didn't care if she permanently damaged her vocal chords as she continued to belt out her lines, suddenly so raw and emotional after months of trying to put all her feelings to one side so she could get out of bed. The whole world fell away, Beca left on stage alone as Chloe stood in front of her, tears in her eyes as she reached for Beca, Beca's hand streched out for the hand she knew she wouldn't be able to grasp, desperate to touch Chloe, to hold her hand, to be with her just one more time.

"Who wants to live forever? Who wants to live forever? Forever... is our today..."

The Bellas had joined Beca again, their choreography tossed aside as they moved into a tight line either side of their openly grieving sister, Stacie and Amy practically holding her up as Beca's shaking body managed to produce the final line of their set.

"Who waits forever anyway?"

The lights went down, plunging the stage in darkness, the audience erupted in applause and cheers, but Beca didn't notice any of it, sobbing hard as her legs finally gave out underneath her. It was Stacie that lifted her from the ground, carrying her backstage as Beca fell apart, every ounce of emotion that she had poured into their set tearing her soul to pieces.

"I w-want Chloe." Beca choked out as Stacie held her tighter still, now sequestered backstage with the Bellas around her, "I w-want her b-back!"

"I know." Stacie whispered into her hair, "I know Becs. She'd be so proud of you, that was incredible."

"I want Chloe." Beca whimpered, "I want Chloe."

There was nothing any of them could say, and they knew it, her family instead choosing to move around until all of them had huddled together in a tight embrace, Beca cocooned in the centre of them, raw and bereft as they came together to comfort the one person who had not once fallen apart on them until now.

"I'm here Becs."

Beca knew Chloe wasn't really there, that she wasn't really stood their with them, but in that moment she didn't care, screwing her eyes tighter shut so that she could cling to this illusion a little longer.

"I love you Beca."

Beca could've sworn she felt fingers gently slotting with her own, felt a head pressed against her temple.

"It' okay Beca. You can hold my hand, if it makes you feel safer."

[clatterbane]

Currently trying to get into a new project that's frankly pretty terrifying!

I've been listening to more audiobooks and creepypasta recordings in the background lately. And I really wouldn't mind trying to do some reading and maybe contribute to someone else's enjoyment myself!

But, that would involve actually listening to the output and doing some editing. And my brain is still tied into some interesting knots around that exact thing!

I know exactly what the issue is, and it has frankly held me back on too many things that I was otherwise interested in doing over the years. I may also be one of the surface hyperverbal AuDHD types, but man spoken communication is hard enough already without extra shit piled on. 😬

I am also at least a couple of grown-ass adults in a trench coat by now. It has been many years since anyone felt entitled to harass me over whatever speech impediment/disability accent/whatever the fuck else they're perceiving that I may still be showing. My "peers" cut that shit out before I even hit college, when a transfer into a less toxic environment fixed that issue along with the rest of the outright bullying garbage.

It has been even more years (like, 40+) since I had to deal with that abusive speech therapist who wanted to "fix" my regional accent even more than what I was actually referred over. Which directly involved making me repeat things into a tape recorder and listen to the playback, while jumping down my throat over "not even trying to do better". Meanwhile, I'm not even sure what is supposed to be wrong, much less how to go about changing it. Thankfully that shit didn't last more than maybe a couple of months before my mother figured out something was off and put a stop to it. The experience still instilled a very specific aversion to listening to recordings of my own stupid voice.

Yep, I still do sound like I'm from West Virginia, BTW. (Because I kinda am, if with more time spent just over the state line.) And really fucking hated the frequent comments that got around London.

(One benefit of moving to Sweden, honestly. There isn't the same class-entangled weird cultural baggage around English accents (where Americans in general face some garbage before you even get to more stigmatized dialects), ESL speakers largely don't seem to gaf anyway--and frankly most Swedes keep enough reserve going that they're unlikely to say much even if they did find my accent particularly strange. The only person who's even commented after I opened my mouth was someone who spent like 25 years in Texas, curious where I was from (nowhere in Texas). The huge tradeoff: crippling self-consciousness around trying out my broken Swedish on people. I'm not falling into the too-frequent "expat" failure mode of using more English still because it mostly works and is easier, I'm just neurotic as hell. At least I probably do come across as more awkward than arrogant.)

That would seem like more than enough time to make moves toward untangling some of this nest of mental hangups. Nobody is likely to act like that at me these days. And if they do, fuck 'em. I don't have any compelling reason(s) to care these days.

I am still not looking forward to the sound of my own voice, even enough to work out recording levels. But should be fairly low pressure in another way as these things go, sitting in my own house reading into a microphone at my leisure.

[kmp78]

« And call SOMEONE, ANYONE, to come and join you and not think about the fact that you are all alone while everyone else has moved on. Even if it is someone who for the rest of the year is merely an afterthought for you... »

Don't exaggerate, it looks like the trailer for a drama movie.. 😂

JL has a mother if he doesn't want to be alone and he was with her last year 💯. He also has friends. He can be with people he likes if that was the case. And not a girl he's been ignoring for months. No one would do that especially during a holiday season like Christmas or New Year.

A mother?

So he would either have to travel to her digs in Bumfuckville in the middle of nowhere (not an option!) or shack up in one of his own extremely unhomely homes, and in both cases be reminded that in fact he really has NO ONE. 😬

OR!

He could summon his equally pathetic and partnerless billionaire boys and some scraggly bikini bimbos who gleefully ditch their own families for a chance to get wined and dined for free in the tropics. 😎

Or of course there would also be his brother and his extremely eager "wifey" buuuut since they can't stand to breathe the same air except when they're forced to on stage... 🤷🏼‍♀️

[fizzyphan]

helllooo

by now u must've already had ur audition so how did it go!! did u get the part of adelaide? are u excited 👀 i loveee the name adelaide it's so pretty. ooh and i shall check out guys and dolls when i have some free time soon. and how was the christmas party, did u have good food and some games?

hehe thank u 💗 i'm not gonna lie getting second prize at a game i've never played before has definitely given me an ego boost im gonna walk around claiming i'm a pro at bowling 😬

ooh which songs were ur top three last year and on the same note which ones were ur top three this year? i surprisingly liked my wrapped this year because it was more or less what i expected but i am aware that this year spotify messed up pretty bad. i feel like being a 1d girlie never goes away it's just something that hits u out of nowhere. and oh my god noah kahan!! actually seed was the one who introduced me to him and i have been insane about him ever since. i know it's a hard question but which noah song is ur favourite?

ooh that sounds amazing! i'm so glad u enjoyed txt's concerts. i have a friend who's a kpop fan and they were telling me about how hard it is to get tickets for kpop artists in uk/eu/usa because they sell out very quickly. as for my concert stories, so no one really comes to my home country and so when i went to the uk i literally went to as many shows as i could afford to 🫣 but my favourite concert was actually 5sos, niall coming second to them. i actually bought an extremely last minute ticket for 5sos and i got it for ridiculously cheap but god they're so much fun live! but i think love on tour 23 will always be a fond memory for me, it was like a pocket in time and i'll always miss it!

my week has been good so far, got a major part of my work done, got a box of chocolates from a sweet colleague. what about u, how was ur week? have u done all of ur christmas shopping or do u still need to run some last minute errands?

- s

heyy!! my audition ended a bit ago but unfortunately i didn't actually get to sing or dance because we didnt have enough people sign up to start auditions for that specific show, we've moved them to the beginning of rehearsals in January, so kinda bummed but at least i got to watch amazing auditions for other shows at my theatre today before the party!

we did have good pizza and sang a song from Les Miserables at our party, we also did a gift exchange and i got a hot coco + coffee + mug set!

i relate with the bowling ego! i won a game of mini golf awhile back and felt like a pro golfer loll

last year my top three songs were all 5sos, 1 was voodoo doll, 2 was lost in reality, and 3 was heart break girl! this year my top three were Cocaine Jesus by Rainbow kitten surprise, Its called: freefall by Rainbow kitten surprise and Stick season by noah kahan! although, Northern Attitude is probably my favorite Noah kahan song!

yes txt was so amazing! it is difficult to get tickets tho lol! most people stay up with the page refreshing to get first pick!

ugh 5sos sounds so fun!! my sister went to a one direction concert when she was younger with 5sos as the opener! and niall wow that sounds amazing!!!

my week has been pretty good! ive gotten all my sisters presents and some of my brothers, still working on the rest though, although i did get one of my theatre friends a couple gifts today so im excited to send them to her! me and my mom and sister will finish our Christmas shopping in the next couple days! I actually love christmas shopping, especially getting a coffee or something beforehand to shop with hehe

hope youre doing well!! im so happy to have you to talk to! ❣️

[austinslounge]

It’s the same vibe as his break up with Vanessa. After dating 8 years, she spends the last Christmas in Scotland without him?

A few weeks later the break up was announced.

Same thing here. After two years of going to Cabo with Kaia for the holidays, this year he’s nowhere to be found. Only difference is there has been major break up speculation for Austin and Kaia all year. I don’t think there was for Vanessa and him.

I would expect an official announcement in the coming weeks. Austin and Kaia are odd. But not that odd. Kaia is screaming thirsty single girl energy.

I think it’s okay to full assume they’ve broken up months ago.

It’s the same vibe as his break up with Vanessa. After dating 8 years, she spends the last Christmas in Scotland without him?

Wasn't Vanessa filming "The Princess Switch" in Scotland in Dec 2019? And wasn't Austin already in Australia around Dec for Elvis prep? 🤔

I wouldn't have thought it strange since both were pretty busy and working at the time.

But Austin not being in Cabo with Kaia when he's completely free and done with work and isn't even prepping for anything? Yea, that's sus.

Same thing here. After two years of going to Cabo with Kaia for the holidays, this year he’s nowhere to be found. Only difference is there has been major break up speculation for Austin and Kaia all year. I don’t think there was for Vanessa and him.

Yea, the Austin and Vanessa breakup seemed to happen out of nowhere. There weren't any rumors of trouble in paradise with them before they broke up. It seemed sudden. 😬 But obviously, they must have been having issues, even if they still loved each other.

And yea, Austin not being spotted in Cabo so far is definitely an eyebrow raise, especially since we all know what his pattern has been over the years with any of his girlfriends.

I would expect an official announcement in the coming weeks. Austin and Kaia are odd. But not that odd. Kaia is screaming thirsty single girl energy.

I totally agree girl lol.

Kaia is messy, but if she's been this messy while still actually being still with Austin, then idk what to say.

I'm still on the fence about a formal breakup announcement. We may get one, we may not. 👀

[camuslittlesister]

Idols, idols and more idols - thoughts on Ryo (Scandal in the Spotlight)

So, this week’s freebie in L365 was Ryo’s route, which brings me to a close of the S1 except I keep mixing up two of the idols and I’m not sure if I read both, or one of them twice and just forgot the route because I’m not the biggest fan of the title. I mostly pick them all up to see Kyohei bickering with Iori. My first one was Nagito, which is probably the worst possible choice for me since I don’t like the friendly flirty types that much (notable exception being SLBP Hideyoshi, but they’re nowhere near the same thing even in Toshiee’s route. I sort of vaguely tolerate that side of Kurosawa because anyone in Her Love in the Force means Ayumu screentime and I think that’s it). Then I read the two I keep mixing up, and that should say enough about how memorable they were 🙈, then Iori (twice 👀 yes, I still claim I dislike the guy, why you ask?) and Kyohei.

I’m one scene in and already ready to slap the MC. I guess the LI being the songwriter she is replacing meant they turned up the volume on the huge insecurity she keeps displaying in all routes. I am aware the situation she is in is new, and that her inability to write the song is the main driver of the romance, but she is in this situation because she has a dream she is trying to protect, and the way she acts when they ask things of her is something I can’t square with the drive to pursue her ambition at all costs. It’s not like Voltage hasn’t written titles with ambitious MCs around the years this title first came out, or that insecure MCs are always bad (it works for Kings of Paradise, it would have worked in After School Affairs if they went in that direction since a lot of those routes are around how she isn’t as good a teacher as the LI is...).

I just feel that this title would have benefitted from a MC like in ASA or Irresistible Mistakes, even HLITF and a bunch of others who faced challenges head on and just went to do their research and upskilled either by themselves or with the guy (whichever suited the story). I understand the need to diversify the MCs, but plenty of titles suit a more insecure woman than this one. Or, at the very least, make her insecure without being annoyingly clueless like that. It’s a hill I’m willing to die on.

I feel kinda bad for Ryo in his first appearance and can’t bring myself to blame him, so I think it’ll be interesting to see where this goes. I’m also enjoying the nicest Iori has ever been in anyone’s route. If this was the personality he had in his route he’d be husbando material. Too bad 😪 anyway, after the first meeting with Ryo she seems to find the drive I was talking about and the multiple choice options reflect that, so I’m satisfied even though it feels like they swapped MC half way through the chapter...also Ryo is would date in real life material so far, and I’m loving the sudden inspiration for the theme of the song 😏

{Sort of unrelated but “All the carbs give me a big boost of energy” HOW? A holiday in Italy for me is one long food coma and sleepiness that requires a minimum of one espresso every hour not to yawn all the time 😬 2D boys have a biology of their own, I swear...looking at you and your sugar addiction, Onii-san}

{I very much ship these two but also hi Iori here’s a marriage license and here’s a pen, I need you to sign this real quick 👀 no, seriously, who’s this version of Iori? Did they get him out of the Mad Hatter’s hat? This is all I can think about as I read this story...}

In the end, I feel like they once again resolved the drama too quickly after a whole route of sweet nothings happening, but pacing aside it was a good story. I can buy the romance since she likely had a crush on him as Makoto anyway, so the fact Iori is there all the time but not really a rival is believable enough. I really liked how she fell in love through his art as well, it was such a nice touch as a huge music fan myself (even if it’s not that common to see real feelings translated into song, or maybe because of it. It makes Ryo really precious). I think he’s my favourite LI in the title, maybe tied with Kyohei. I might one day buy his S2 onwards (and atm I only own S2 and beyond for HLITF so it’s a huge endorsement).

[person-personified]

I posted 2,409 times in 2022

35 posts created (1%)

2,374 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hattalove

@ttimbradford

@extasiswings

@911bts

I tagged 1,766 of my posts in 2022

Only 27% of my posts had no tags

#911 fox - 708 posts

#evan buckley - 223 posts

#eddie diaz - 216 posts

#buddie - 159 posts

#in the tags - 110 posts

#words - 86 posts

#!!! - 83 posts

#911 bts - 77 posts

#911 meta - 69 posts

#art - 69 posts

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#i gotta think...❤️‍🔥is like. beautiful and aesthetic. but a bit uncommon?i love 💖 especially with some✨✨ but i use 💕 most often.

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

reeba !!! taylor !!! midnights!!! omg did you have any idea ?!?!?!? it's always out of nowhere i swear aksdfjjj :') <33

hi!! hello!!

no I fucking did not like. she was doing interviews like no I don't have another album in me just yet, I'm so tired, I thought new album would take a few years??

like obviously it's been nearly 2 years since evermore but there's the rerecordings. and also I think I've been spoilt by the folklore/evermore release schedule because I feel...empty that we don't have the tracklist or like we're not getting the whole album + mv immediately after the announcement 😅

it looks so good though! I first saw her red carpet look waking up mid sleep to check something and I thought oh so rep? and then I woke up and my friend was screaming about the new album

the aesthetic looks so gooooood. I might invest in a good eyeshadow palette so I can make her blue eyeshadow look my personality for a bit✨

also hello? louis and taylor having their albums out within a month of each other? louaylor rights!!

4 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

#4

reeba!!! happy new year, my dear ✨🎉!! im so glad to have had so many silly and serious and everything-in-between conversations with you this past year 😊💫💖 i hope the new year brings a million happy moments, exciting opportunities, and pockets of peace for you 💌🥰

essie <333 happy slightly belated new year🎉🎆 I'm so glad YOU reached out after seeing my random tag rambles😭🥺🥺 because I don't think. I would have. and then I wouldn't have an insanely talented friend who's also? so good at getting the weird intangible thoughts and feelings that I am usually too insecure to talk about to most people. we're matching brain waves on a facet of ourselves and I am very very grateful to have known you this past year<3

thank you for all the wishes omg, same for you!! a million happy moments and a sense of fulfilment, progress and contentment with life. and the strength to step out of our comfort zones and reach for happiness💗💖

also I put in fireworks but I detest those irl, considering I cover my ears when balloons pop. so I hope your ears survived intact 😬

4 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

#3

(also, no need to answer, just want to say i see about the flooding and i'm thinking about you <3 that must feel really scary and sad, i hope you and your loved ones are doing okay, sending love <3 <3 <3)

thank you, my area is safe but the country as a whole. all the provinces are effected, so many lives and livelihoods destroyed...it's really bad out there. and videos and constant updates are..emotionally taxing but if you put it in the back of your mind, you just get busy with your life and you forget those people who will need months until they can even begin to start rebuilding there lives.

and of course crops were effected so prices of some stuff are already high and they'll only get higher. and we already have shitty price hikes due to a recent change in government after some political turmoil. but thank God for private non-profits who actually help the people instead of looting donations

sorry this is. a lot. I just wish there was more I could do besides donating. hopefully volunteer activities will crop up after the initial situation has been stabilized so I can do something that isn't limited by my finances

5 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

#2

reeba !!! are you back from the land of the shadowbanned??! also, what track are you claiming off midnights 👀🌙💫

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii essie🥰🥰

I am back from the land of the shadowbanned alright, so back in fact that when I saw half your ask in my notifications saying are you back from the land of... I didn't have the slightest inkling what this could be about and like a perfectly normal person, I wondered, why does essie think I'm in the land of the dead? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

as for claiming tracks, not to be (more) dramatic, I don't what's going on, idk who I AM? because like I cannot decide a track to claim. like this has never happened in any of the album releases I've been through so far. but like. lavender haze, maroon or midnight rain. like I think I want something s o f t. and side A sounds softer but I feel like the titles are going to be very misleading regarding the vibe? I am CERTAIN that whatever song I claim will not be my favorite. only two more sleeps till we know🕛⏳

How are you faring with this claiming business that I'm pathetically failing at😂

6 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

hey hi how are you ☺️✨ (i typed this and my brain went ‘how’s life, tell me how’s your family’ even though i haven’t listed to that song in FOREVER aksjjj but i’m off to rectify that now <3)

hi essie!! ☀️✨✨

to be very honest, I'm just... tired 😅 I'm trying to juggle some uni stuff with a part-time job and utterly failing at time management. like I COULD give up the me time but at what cost? losing my soul? so I'm just sacrificing sleep etc 🥳🥳

oof not back to decemberrrrr. i don't think I've heard it since 9th grade except once with red tv but I remember it all too well🤪

I think that's what the kids these are calling 'core memories'

how are you?? how's life and your family (feline family)

7 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →