#(and thankyou very much to anyone who chips in!!)

[felassan]

hey fel! i had a question about getting the da games through steam—i know you still have to use the ea app to actually launch the games because ea sucks like that, but do you know if streaming the game to another computer through steam will still work? i have a dinky old laptop that i'd like to be able to play the games on, but it certainly can't run them by itself, so i was hoping to use steam to stream them like i do bg3!

hello! ◕‿◕ I'm sorry, I don't know, but I will post this up in case anyone who reads it happens to know and can help out. ^^

[kakusu-shipping]

Crush List

I use to have a crush list on my first pinned post but I ended up deleting it to save space and sense then have been pretty indecisive about bringing it back just because I didn't feel it was useful information and the concept was too broad and more and more excuses of the like.

Then my OCD got stuck in list mode so here we are anyway.

Long post under the cut, thankyou for your attention

Canon Crushes

Crushes that are canon to my Self-Insert's story (either I have a crush on them or they have a crush on me), some of which are also on the F/O list, but they're still in the crush phase to me <3

Katsuki Bakugo - My Hero Academia

Reedus Jonah - Fairy Tail

Usopp - One Piece

Makoto Katai - Komi Can't Communicate

Souichi Nishimura (Ironman) - Baka and Test

Junta Hayami - Romantic Killer

Kotaro Sato - Kotaro lives Alone

Franky Franklin - Spy X Family

Shiro Ashiya (Aciel) - The Devil is a Part-Timer

Shizuka Domeki - XXXHolic

Chieko - Princess Jellyfish

Masato Hanzawa - Sasaki and Miyano/Hirano and Kagiura

Baron Humbert von Gikkington - The Cat Returns

Arrietty Clock - The Secret World of Arrietty

Pearl - Steven Universe

Princess Celestia - My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic

The Beast - Over the Garden Wall

Ash's Sirfetch'd - Pokemon Anime

Guzma - Pokemon Masters

Doctor Mario - Super Mario

Metal Mario - Super Mario

Wardell - Animal Crossing

Spyke - Splatoon

CQ Cumber - Splatoon

Balan - Balan Wonderworld

Rayfa Padma Khura'in - Ace Attorney

Chara - Undertale

Flowey - Undertale

Gaster - Deltarune

Phineas Filch - Ace Attorney

Maugaloa Malosi - Overwatch

Luca Blight - Suikoden 2

Madeline - The Watchers (Novel)

Just can't be bother to make an S/I

For various reasons including; Already have too many S/Is for this media, There's a ship I like that already has the dynamic my S/I would have with them (including friend's self-ships), Haven't had a good S/I concept yet, etc.

Pantherlily - Fairy Tail

Taurus - Fairy Tail

Mayaya - Princess Jellyfish

Hilling - Ranking of Kings

Marco Pagot - Porco Rosso

Palo Barrrows - The Titan's Bride

Noppo - Drifting Home

Randall - Monsters University

Jasper - Steven Universe

Rose Quarts/Pink Diamond - Steven Universe

Padparadscha - Steven Universe

The Titan - The Owl House

Grime - Amphibia

Maddie Flour - Amphibia

King Andrias - Amphibia

Hugo Oak - Kipo and the age of the Wonderbeasts

Jamack - Kipo and the age of the Wonderbeasts

Black Hat -Villainous

Bobert - The Amazing World of Gumball

The Nomad - Nomad of Nowhere

Brock - Pokemon Anime

Cilan - Pokemon Anime

Ren - Pokemon Anime

Ingo and Emmet - Pokemon BW

Nanu - Pokemon SuMo

Mega Swampert - Pokemon

Regirock - Pokemon

Regice - Pokemon

Mega Lopunny - Pokemon

Dusknoir - Pokemon

Giritina - Pokemon

Blacephalon - Pokemon

Magnazone - Monster Mind

Bowser - Super Mario

Dimentio - Super Paper Mario

Grilby - Undertale

Damon Gant - Ace Attorney

Bobby Fulbright - Ace Attorney

Kisegawa - Ace Attorney

Junko Enoshima - Danganronpa

Chihiro Fujisaki - Danganronpa

The Ultimate Imposter - Danganronpa

Gundham Tanaka - Danganronpa

Winston - Overwatch

Mako Rutledge (Roadhog) - Overwatch

Akande Ogundimu (Doomfist) - Overwatch

Jean-Baptiste Augustin - Overwatch

Richmond - Suikoden 2

Don't know enough

Either a non-major character I got a little too attached to or Their source material is too small to inspire me or I literally haven't directly interacted with the media they are from

Lapointe - Fairy Tail

Sanji Vinsmoke - One Piece

Usopp - One Piece

Bartholomew Kuma - One Piece

Bepo - One Piece

Shiro Ashiya (Aciel) - The Devil is a Part-Timer

Kitsune - XXXHolic

Dream Seller - XXXHolic

Hiigari - I Realized I Am the Younger Brother of the Protagonist in a BL Game

Otori-San - I Like Otori-san!

Tomoki Inohara - Melt at Night

Satou Jun - Mimasaka-kun to Mayoeru Kobuta

Sayo Minoru - I need to suck blood tonight/Yabun ni Kyuuketsu Shitsurei Shimasu

Yuzuru Tachibana - Drifting Home

Metauro - Villainous

Caine - The Amazing Digital Circus

Data - Star Trek

Harvey Hornswoggle - Drawtectives

Animatronic - Drawtectives

Callagan - Pokemon the Power of Us

Pumpkinmon - Digimon

Noblepumpkinmon - Digimon

Tubba Blubba - Paper Mario

Ganon - Legend of Zelda

Agent 7 (Eight) - Splatoon OC

Nelly (Agent 8) - Friend Devin's Splatoon OC

Meta Knight- Kirby

Galacta Knight - Kirby

Morpho Knight - Kirby

Magalor - Kirby

Rouge - Sonic

Roche - Dokapon Kingdom

Gaster - Undertale

Light Field (Snake) - The Nonary Games

Shamura - Cult of the Lamb

Ralph - Detroit; Become Human

Jerry - Detroit; Become Human

Bloodhound - Apex

[carmenized-onions]

this chapter . babe you have outdone yourself once again.

firstly, carmen baby - wtf actually wtf pls stop I NEED YOU TO STOP YOU ARE RUINING IT

secondly, richie defending chip from creepy exec you loveeeee to see it these are my besties

also love how you worked the richie carmen argument into this fic because it needed to happen so badly but obviously it couldn’t because of how chip was introduced (i’ve also decided im calling her chip its my fav of the nicknames)

carmen proving everyone’s point that he can’t let good things happen to him LOL (not lol actually very very bad)

her and sydney are my favourites, this plaster motif is so flipping cute

carmys people princess insult was kind of good BUT I NEED TO KNOW WHAT INSULT CHIP WAS HOLDING BACK - i feel like this will help me understand what she was like with mikey, like their roasting personalities.

pls don’t call me chippy - WHAT, i need an explanation of this name, denny’s pls come soon

thankyou for resolving between chip and richie!!!!! i said i needed it and you sure as hell gave it to me. i think richie x syd x chip is squad i love them

also who doesn’t love richie and uncle jimmy beef teehee teehee

sorry this is the most chaotic response ever but i had to get it all out

I have. So much to say, babe. Let me plug in my laptop hold on. let me fucking

lock in.

First of all, thank you so much. I was honestly worried this last chapter was a mess and terrible. Could anyone tell I thought that. I thought that so much. IMPASTA SYNDROME!!!

I loved writing Richie this whole chapter. I think it was just nice to write the way he'd act if he had someone to protect at The Bear. Like, those Girl Dad instincts don't just leave you, when you're at work. he STAYS LOCKED IN!!! And also writing a softer landing for him out of that fucking freezer fight, that was yknow, that was a little treat for me. cats can have a little slami.

I had to look up what the fuck plaster meant. BRITIS HPEOPLE CALL BANDAIDS PLASTERS??!?!?!?1 dramatic. Love it. It might just be the ADHD/Autism diagnosis in me but there's something about the ruffly texture a bandaid on the finger has, that I couldn't stop describing, every time Syd and Chip came in contact.

the holding back is the thing i wanted to talk about

So. There was no specific insult in mind, when it came to him saying 'you're excused', but essentially, I'd been plotting out this fight scene since I literally came up with the series. Like we always planned the roadtrip to lead to here, there was just a lot of different ways it could've gone--

It's actually why I did that Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn poll, a few weeks back, if y'all remember. I think the result we got was Freeze? I went with a blend of Freeze and Fawn with a flight escape plan, I feel. Like, sorrysorrysorry here's everything i can do to help also brain is utterly numb and now i will make haste.

But if Fight had gotten the majority? And also just the way I was plotting it in my head, initially?

Tony would've straight up swung on him i'm so fr

There were a lot of routes, there was screaming match, there was swinging on him (it would've been an immediate response to the Mikey line), there was actually a completely different scene that would've taken fucking FOREVER but essentially, she would've gone full numb Job Mode and went to serve the Exec, and it would've gotten fucking weird so fast It was gonna be very like Meeting The Wizard behind the curtain type vibe but the Wizard is a fucking bitch and he also thinks you're hot

But the thing is, as I wrote more chapters and got a better idea of Tony's character, it just wouldn't be in her character to do anything that could embarrass Carmen, so she just opted to leave. Oof.

But if we're just going roasting personalities, the immediate comebacks i can think without getting creative

Who died and put you in charge? ...oh yeah!!!

IF I'M FUCKIN' PRINCESS DIANA ARE YOU KING CHARLES YOU BALDING BITCH!!!! And what's fun about this is that he uses her rosemary water, so that's a layer

The real 'liferuiners' though? All Mikey related. 100% all Mikey Related. She would've busted out the board game 'Who Knows Your Brother on a Genuine Personal Level' and he would've fucking lost. And that would've been..... shattering

There was also a world where Carmen actually brought up the fuckin' photos, and essentially would've implied she was..... A believe the chicago term is a 'runner'? And THAT would've really had some fuckin' motor mouths running. Very much so 'Am I supposed to apologize for being likable???' AOHGH

It'd essentially be exactly what Carmen did. Picking on exact pain points, in the other. So Carmen's insecurities about his relationship w/ Mikey, and the almost competitive nature he gains around Tony being 'less sharp'. I guess to summarize, Tony's fighting/roasting style, if it's not to fawn, is to match energy

I love doing callbacks-- I feel almost certain Dennys is never gonna happen. But I also don't know what I'm doing, past chapter 15. So. I guess in theory anything is possible. I think we'll probably wrap up not long after that, though. Maybe a Dennys epilogue? Who's to say.

THE RICHIE CHIP SYD SQUAD IS FUN FOR ME. I enjoy having two characters that objectively alone together wouldn't get along but once they have the glue there, they're pretty good.

Anyways, thank you thank you thank you I LOVED HEARING YOUR THOUGHTS IF YOU HAVE THOUGHTS ON MY THOUGHTS YOU CAN ALWAYS ATTACK

[sweetkingdomstarlight-blog]

they were roommates

Warnings - non consensual sex, anal sex, somnophilia, forced drug use

Pairings - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words - over 2k

A/N - READ THE WARNINGS - I can’t stress this enough. Also if you are under 18 just shoo, bugger off. I wrote this from a prompt on @darkficsyouneveraskedfor​ stalker writing challenge, the prompt was your roommate isn’t who you thought they were. I’m still super new to writing and this is new territory for me, as always a huge massive thankyou to my beautiful wife @buckyownsmylife​ she helped me a lot and continues to hype me up.

It’s been six weeks since your friend got a new job upstate and moved out,. You’ve had an advert out for a new roommate but so far everyone who’s applied has either been rude or hasn’t shown up. You’re running low on your savings and would probably accept Satan himself if he could pay his fair share. That’s when your latest applicant knocked on your door.

James was polite and charming, he offered to pay a month up front to secure the room and could move in as soon as possible. You felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders when he moved in later that week, it was a bit odd that he had no friends to help him but he didn’t seem to have a lot of stuff and had himself sorted while you worked in your home office.

The first night he offered to buy pizza and beers so you could get to know each other better, it turns out you two had a lot of things in common and he was easy to get along with. You must have had a few too many beers because your head felt fuzzy, deciding it was time to go to bed. You said goodnight to James and stood up but felt so dizzy you had to immediately sit back down. James was so sweet though, looking after you, he actually picked you up and put you to bed so you didn't have to walk the short distance to your room.

Waking up the next morning you realised you were wearing a t-shirt you didn’t recognise but you didn’t remember getting changed, your mouth felt strangely dry so you got up for a drink. That’s when the soreness hit you, in between your legs, rushing to the bathroom you were confused that you weren’t getting your period and nothing seemed to be different. You assumed you were getting sick and went for hot tea to soothe yourself.

Sitting at the kitchen counter drinking and nibbling on some dry toast, James walks in looking like he’s just been for a run. He grabs a bottle of water and walks over to you giggling “you can’t possibly be hungover you only had three drinks last night” you look up at him smirking and sarcastically respond, “yeah, well, maybe I’m just a lightweight”.

As you get up to clear away your mess he clears his throat making you turn. “Should we have a system for when we have people over in the future?” You look at him confused. “I’m sorry what do you mean? Do you want to bring someone over tonight?”

He chuckles at you, “Well no, not tonight but if you want your friend from last night to come back I can make sure you have some privacy,” he offers you, smirking at the confused look on your face.

“I’m sorry, I don't understand, I went to sleep last night. I didn’t have anyone over.” Taking a step closer, he leans on the counter separating you both. “Then who did I hear you with last night and who did I kick out this morning?” You stare at him open mouthed and scurry off to your room to check your phone for some clues, you feel your chest tighten when you see that you matched with someone last night and invited him over. How could you not remember? You were absolutely mortified, what is James going to think of you now?

Sitting in your home office talking to idiot customers on the phone all day, you try to take your mind off what happened last night. How can you have invited someone over, had sex and apparently stolen his t-shirt without even knowing? You vow there and then you aren’t drinking ever again. However, the end of the week rolls by and it's been the absolute worst, your boss is a dick, your customers are all idiots and to top it off your best friend hasn’t responded to your calls all week and you don’t know why.

You have a quick shower and decide to spend the night binge watching whatever you can find on Netflix when James sits next to you handing you a gin and tonic. “Thanks but I’m not drinking for a little while.” You go to put the drink down but he pushes it up to your mouth

“Don’t be silly, you’ve had a hard week. One drink won’t hurt” smiling at him you take a sip and he’s right, you instantly relax and get cosy on the sofa, ordering chinese and laughing at the show you both decide on. Waking up in the middle of the night with a dry mouth again, you find yourself laying on your bed but this time you have your own clothes on which is a relief. Standing up, you feel a bit weird round the back like you’ve been stretched out with one of your plugs but that’s not possible, they’re hidden in your box under the bed.

You drink a big glass of water and sit on the kitchen counter, a little uncomfortably, but quietly and relax. Something has been off the last week and you can’t put your finger on it, it's always weird when you get a new roommate and you’ve put it down to that but you just sense something isn’t quite right. You lean your head back on the wall behind you and get a surprise when James walks round the corner. “Hey doll, you feeling ok? You looked a bit sickly earlier and went to bed. I didn’t want to wake you up.”

You nod at how sweet he was and drink some more water before hopping down. “I’m fine just going to sleep it off.” He takes your glass for you, offering to wash it and says goodnight, watching you walk away very closely and licking his lips as his eyes roam over your body.

It’s been a few weeks now since James moved in, he’s got to be the best roommate you’ve ever had. He pays his bills on time, keeps the place spotless and he’s such a good cook, always making food and drinks for you. It's lucky that he’s so kind because none of your friends seem to be in touch anymore, you message them and even try calling them but no one ever replies.

You sit watching your usual Friday night film with drinks and Chinese takeout, talking to James about both your weeks, tonight though he sits closer than usual and his face seems to light up when you talk to him. He’s possibly the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen in real life, you’ve never looked at him that way before because not only is he your roommate but he’s so far out of your league it's laughable. You tell one of your stupid jokes and he laughs with his whole body, his arm goes around the back of the sofa and he pulls you in close, hugging into him, you relax biting your lip when he kisses the top of your head.

That was the beginning of it for you both. You had daily movie nights, he cooked for you every day, listened when you got upset that your friends seemed to have dropped you and even encouraged you to start running with him. Everything felt perfect, you still occasionally woke up sore with a dry mouth but James told you it was just your body getting used to all the exercise you were now doing. Both of you had really found each other, loners who just needed someone to listen.

You went down to collect your mail one day and stood talking to your elderly neighbour when she told you how familiar James looked, she couldn’t work out where she knew him from but she praised you on finding such a nice young man who apparently had carried her groceries up the stairs for her when the elevator was broken. Smiling at her you told her to have a good morning and went back to your apartment looking at the thick brown envelope addressed to you, you never really got anything in the post except the occasional leaflet. James had made you a coffee and you smiled at him taking the package in your room to open while you got ready to have a shower.

In the shower you decided tonight would be the night with James, you shaved yourself from head to toe and used your best lotions. Winking at him as you walked to your room, he had a weird look on his face and couldn’t seem to look at you. In your room the envelope had been moved, it looked like it was open too. Bending down to pick it up you hear James behind you but before you can turn around you feel a pain in your neck and everything goes dark.

You wake up with a blinding headache and go to move but your body feels too heavy. “Ssshh sweetheart, don’t move, I had to tie you up for your own safety.” You look at him confused, trying to pull on your wrists but you can’t move.

“James, what’s happening?” Sitting next to you he slips some ice chips in your mouth to ease your dry throat and takes a deep breath.

“You can blame your friend, we were so happy and she had to try and take you away from me.” A tear runs down your cheek, you’ve never heard him talk like this and it’s terrifying. “I told your little friends to leave you alone or I’d take care of them all but they just didn’t listen.” He throws the envelope down and slowly shows you the newspaper clippings and articles they had sent you, apparently he was on the run and considered dangerous, something to do with what happened with the helicarriers that crashed a few months ago.

“I’m not the Winter Soldier anymore,” he says with a smirk, wiping your tears away and tutting. “Don’t be scared of me, I’m doing this for you, for us!” Pulling on the restraints on your feet and arms again he shouts, “Enough!” You stop immediately, scared of what he‘ll do if you don’t. “You were so nice to me on the phone when I first got free, you helped me hire that car that brought me to New York. I hacked into your company's database and found you. Your roommate was easy to convince with a little bit of money and I hired all those people to come and see you so when I finally got my chance you’d want me as much as I’ve wanted you”

“Why didn’t you just ask me out like a normal person?” You managed to stutter out, trying not to sound too pathetic.

“You never leave the house, you stay home all day working then sit watching TV all night, I saw you through the webcam. You really should be more careful.” He smirks before running his fingers over your naked body. Feeling how smooth and soft your skin is he smiles. “Did you do all this for me? Sweetheart, I’ve already had all of you, you don’t have to do anything special for me. I love you just the way you are”.

The realisation hits you and you sob loudly. “Have you been touching me while I sleep?” He tilts his head to the side and looks at you with so much admiration.

“You’re so smart, I’ve been preparing you to be mine. I didn’t know how long it's been since you’ve been with a real man, not those silly little toys under your bed and I wanted our first time to be special. I even set up that fake dating account so you would think you had a guy over on that first night.” He strokes your cheek and you have to bite your tongue to stop yourself from crying.

“James I’m cold, can you untie me and we can talk properly, please.” He studies your face for a brief moment before leaning forward and chuckling in your ear.

“You can’t think I’m that stupid baby, oh and you can call me Bucky now. If you’re going to be mine forever we need to get better acquainted.” He drops his sweatpants and straddles your hips. “We’re going to have so much fun”.

[pxrxcxa]

Can I request #7 and #62 from the ask game ? Please 🥺

Thankyou for the request Anon! 🖤

Choose your question

#7 - Post a snippet from a wip.

His stretched out shirt shifted as he leant over the counter, drawing my eyes from his snarky smile down to the hidden tattoo over his chest.

I gulped as he tapped his heavy skull ring besides my arm, purposely cutting through my concentration until I sighed. I snatched my hands away from him as his proximity sent a zap a heat in the bare space between us, glaring at him as I folded them over my chest.

“Do you mind? Some of us are actually trying to work.” I snapped, fiddling with the numbers on the keyboard as I tried to keep my eyes glued to the screen.

“No not at all.” He shrugged, his eyes burning as they flickered between mine, Eddie ducked his head to try and catch my attention.

“So can I have it?” He laughed as I scowled, giving him what he wanted as I flicked the monitor off and spun to face him with my full frustration.

“What?” I practically growled, hating the way amusement flared in his face, like my anger wasn’t intimidating at all.

“Your number.” He smirked, with all the confidence in the world.

“You think I’d give my number to a high schooler?” I scoffed, brows shooting up into my hair in absolute disbelief. I tried to ignore the swirl of mixed emotions in the pit of my stomach, fighting against the strongest one that demanded to be heard.

For fucks sake.

My face hardened at him like he was to blame for my will power that chipped away with each of his sarcastic words and knowing smirks.

Technically he was the one in the wrong here, Eddie could play the innocent senior all he wanted while he came onto his boss, but he knew what he was doing.

But if I gave into his relentless flirting and suggestive comments, I’d be with one with my ass on the line.

And somehow that made it all the worse, the wrongness of it all, it filled me with shame with how much it made me want this more, to catch him off guard and show him who he was really messing with.

Eddie was playing a dangerous game of fire by toying with my ability to hold back from what I wanted, it was dicey at best, and down right non existent on my bad days.

I cleared my throat as the doorbell rang, a group of frightened freshman heading to the new releases section. Eddie tore his eyes away from mine as he glanced over his shoulder at them.

“Highschooler.” I spat through my teeth, reminding him.

“Loose definition.” He shrugged as his face screwed up in a grin, like it wasn’t his fault he’d been held back a couple of years in a row.

“And that wasn’t a no.” He cheeky smile left me speechless as his eyes glinted, letting his rough hands brush mine as he made his way over to the new customers.

Damn him

And yet I still couldn’t help the slow smile that tugged at the corner of my lips.

#62 - (I hope you don’t mind what fic I chose) In Off Limits, is there a deleted scene/idea you wish you could have included?  Why did it get cut?

I actually had two alternate endings to the last part of the little sister series, the one that was neck and neck with being posted, had their bedroom scene at Eddie’s trailer instead of readers house, and I had written a scene where Trevor reacted really badly and got into a huge screaming match with reader, which led to her running out and chasing after Eddie.

But that didn’t feel right because I don’t feel like anyone’s sibling should have a say in who they date & I hated the fight scene, BUT, I do wish that I’d written their sex scene at Eddie’s trailer instead in the final piece I’d posted, but I cut it because the whole story didn’t flow very well with it.

Thankyou for the ask lovely! I hope you enjoyed the sneak peak & small insight into my thoughts! 🖤

[httpsohnpouts]

𝓼𝓽𝓾𝓬𝓴 𝓲𝓷 𝓪 𝓭𝓪𝔂𝓭𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶.

⊱ pairing: eric x fem. reader

⊱ warnings: i’m pretty sure i wrote ‘ass’ a couple times

⊱ word count: 2.8k

⊱ a/n: i try my best to make my work gender neutral but for my collab pieces where i have a lot to write, i tend to forget to write from all perspectives and therefore found it easier to make them from fem. reader perspectives, i apologise if this upsets some of my readers <3

my first collab piece! @atbzkingdom thankyou for the opportunity! i planned for this piece to be longer and better, please don’t hesitate to give me feedback as i’m still a little unsure on some parts. i’ll possibly edit and rewrite some parts in the future! thankyou and i hope you like it!

⊱ taglist: @heartyyjeno @atbzkingdom @chaoticdeobi

inserting the cassette into its player, the nostalgic melody slowly echoed around the room; you were entranced into a flood of beautiful and precious memories playing on repeat in your mind.

you were seated, cross-legged, on your roommates bed. she had invited you over upon your arrival at campus, to which you gladly took her invite, considering you wouldn’t really have a lot of time to spend with her with classes starting so soon. she was currently parading around in several different dresses, some tight, some loose, some just outright hideous. she claimed she was in a rush - her boyfriend, sangyeon, on his way to pick her up for the party they were attending that night. she ushered you to go with them but you opted out, wanting to get settled in before rushing off to a party.

pulling on the tiny bobbles on your socks, there was a knock at the door, and the next minute you were met with two guys. one in which you assumed to be sangyeon, considering your roommate sprung herself into him upon seeing his face. and the other - someone you didn’t know. that was, until he was introduced to you, as eric sohn.

your second encounter with eric, was - funnily enough - at a party. you were in your last years at college when your friends wanted to let off some steam and somehow had managed to get you to tag along with them. you couldn’t handle your alcohol very well so let’s just say you were pretty befuddled.

“woah, watch where you’re going there, princess” someone chimed.

you were wobbling slightly and accidentally backed up into someone, sending their drink down the front of their shirt.

the next thing you knew, you were being swept up by your legs, your face in vision sight with the person's back, “hey! put me down.” you screeched between each punch of your fist. whoever it was, was really enjoying themselves, chuckling at your childish behaviour.

you were finally put on your feet, coming face to face with the ever-so-rude person who happened to escort you out of the building before a fight occurred. for some odd reason you just felt feisty tonight, probably since you haven’t let yourself loosen up since the start of classes and all of your wild and chaotic energy was protruding through all at once.

“i’m guessing you’re y/n, right?” he looked oddly familiar, as did his voice, but through your blurry and clouded vision, you couldn’t really make out who it was. he must’ve sensed your hesitance, tugging at your wrist before giving you a small high five, “i’m eric.”

ever since that night, he would take you out somewhere. and for someone who hadn’t explored much or had never even gone out of their comfort zone, it meant you had a lot to see and a lot to learn.

your favourite hangout had got to be the night where he drove the two of you to an outdoor cinema, seated on a plaid blanket that laid flat against the grass, your jacket shared between the two of you, your thighs pressing against one another whilst the pillows you brought propped your heads up comfortably to watch the movie playing. every so often, you could smell eric’s perfume as it blew with the wind, intoxicating you almost. without him realising, his hand would unconsciously fall and lay on your thigh, you ignored it however, knowing he didn’t mean it and is something you shouldn’t really be making such a big deal out of.

you were occupied in the screen played before you, giving eric the chance to etch your features into his brain. he had liked you for a while, even before you first saw him in your roommates dorm, sangyeon brought him along, knowing you’d be there and thus giving eric the chance for you to finally meet him. your hair was tied back, checking the weather before leaving knowing it would be windy and figured you’d pull it back to avoid the nuisance of doing it later on, except your baby hairs escaped it’s capture in the bobble and floated around with the direction of the wind. the screen’s light shone and bounced across your face, illuminating it in a way that made you look like you were an angel visiting earth but without the wings and plus, he knew you were real. he couldn’t help himself but to occasionally stare at your hands and wonder what it would feel like fitted between his, wondering how smooth they were. oh, how much he wished he could just squish your hands together right there and then. so he settled for leaving it purposely nearer to you, hoping you’d feel the same as him, yet a little braver by slipping your fingers together. you didn’t, but he figured it was wishful thinking anyways.

or there was another time, where he snook you out of your dorm past midnight just so you could both watch the sun rise. his safe place, he’d never brought anyone there before and he told you just that, causing butterflies to flutter crazily from inside of your tummy. just like how you smiling and letting out a little giggle at one of his lame jokes, he told the boys the same one and earned an eruption of laughter but it just didn’t create the same feeling compared to when you did it.

no. your favourite moment had got to be the moment you realised you loved him. you had been working yourself to the bone upon exams nearing and eric knew this, trying his best to relax you and to take your mind off of everything causing you distress. engulfing you into his warm embrace when the tears began rolling down your face. promising to stay the night with you in his arms to keep you safe and comforted and just so you weren’t alone. it’s also the moment you shared your first kiss.

what followed consisted of a few things. you celebrated your three months together before leaving education to finally turn into your own independent people with individual plans and paths they want to take. in other words: growing up. becoming an adult. and hence, you split. it was hard, at first. eric became your rock, as did you, become his. you never left each other’s sides and maybe that was why it was so hard for the long distance to work. you were both affectionate, both two loving and caring soles that just needed that physical touch, facetime can only go so far.

the door chimed, indicating someone had come through the door, “hi, welcome to moonlight’s diner what can i get for you?” you cringed at your superficial tone of voice as you casted a smile to the new customers, one of which left to find the pair a table. what a cute couple.

the woman was pretty, the way the sun shone through the open glass windows as she peered behind you at the menus, “hi, can i get two hot chocolates and chocolate chip muffins please?” she gleamed, fiddling with the cash notes she held in her hands as she looked at you expectedly.

“of course,” imputing the order into the cash register, excusing yourself as you went to prepare her order as she left to accompany her friend.

you were quite used to the machines at the diner, considering you had worked there long enough to learn everything like the back of your hand, so it only took you a couple of minutes before making your way to the table, placing each saucer and plate in front of the two, concentrating too much to notice the eyes watching your every moment.

“here’s your order and the bill, enjoy.” pushing the tray between the fold of your arm as you slid them the bill, only just having the chance to spot the man sat opposite the woman you served at the counter.

“oh hey y/n.” eric spoke, flashing his pearly whites as he began to stir his hot chocolate, “i haven’t seen you in… years. it’s nice to see you again.” the girl now staring at you instead, curious as to how eric knew you.

turning on your heel, wanting to get out of the situation as quickly as you could, you were just about to leave but god had other plans for you, “hey, i’m hanna, eric’s girlfriend. nice to me you.. y/n.”

you didn’t see eric for weeks after the encounter with his girlfriend. nothing much happened after that, your manager had called for you from the back room to tell you it was the end of your shift and how you could go home. not even sparing eric or his girlfriend a second glance or word, you gripped the tray tighter and scurried out the door, not caring to even say much as a goodbye or see you tomorrow.

“so that’s y/n, huh? is that why you brought me here?” eric had been watching you leave, you looked different from the last time he saw you. god, he couldn’t imagine you being any prettier but there you were; proving him wrong. proving to him that he never actually stopped loving you. all those nights he would stay awake silently hoping you would surprise him at his dorm and you never leave his side again, “was a surprise for the both of us it seems.”

he met hanna through a mutual friend from his baseball team. they weren’t really that close, only a few civil greetings shared between the two but when he stopped eric in his tracks on the way out of the changing room, pleading him to go on a date with his love-struck friend, there wasn’t much to lose. he was lonely and she reminded him of himself; bubbly, energetic, and hence, they started dating, seeing one another more often. something he wasn’t able to do with you. he told hanna all about you. the girl he was once head over heels with, quite frankly, she knows everything about you. as do his group of friends.

except, the difference is, they met hanna and hardly know anything of her. but you, someone they have yet to meet, hell, they know everything from how you can’t eat dairy due to your intolerance to how when you were a child, you got bit by a donkey and still have the scar on your wrist. it wasn’t pleasant, comparing the both of you. you both have different traits, different personalities, different styles, you were polar opposites. and maybe that’s why things weren’t working well between eric and hanna and why he still loves you. you match him like a missing puzzle piece. hanna knew it too, but she was too blind sighted by the four letter word called love, that she didn’t want to lose eric. maybe it was out of nerves or worries, not knowing what the future had planned for her: would she ever get married? have kids? would she even meet another boy if she broke up with eric? she was being selfish really, but she couldn’t help it… especially when she saw the sparkle in his eye and the fond, lingering smile on his face by just the slight glimpse of your shadow.

it seemed like someone in the clouds above were playing some kind of god, putting scattered pieces together. almost like a person putting a broken jigsaw puzzle back together, nothing happening too fast, but also too noticeable for it to be just a coincidence.

life was hard, to say the least. some days better than others, some appearing as though it’ll never end and whilst some, you wished would stay around forever. but that’s how it goes, time still ticks on and moves through the waves of reality and if you just happen to stumble and trip, there’s the risk of never being fully able to catch up. time. something that is very limited, something people take for granted, that some people have too little of and others struggling to stay just one foot in front of; the fear of falling behind being all too real.

“penny for your thoughts?”

he spoke, breaking the tranquility that filled the empty playground.

“how funny, sohn.”

“so tell me,” he softly murmured, turning on his side to look directly at your side profile, “what brings you here? this is where we always went during school on our breaks.”

you nod, “i know. it brings peace, you know? i like it here.”

to which the male simply nodded.

“and you? shouldn’t i be asking you the same thing?”

“me and hanna broke up. came here to clear my head.”

“oh.”

abruptly, eric stood up, his hand outstretched towards you as he dragged you to your feet, “c’mon, we’re going to get ice cream from that place around the corner.”

and with that glimmering smile, you couldn’t refuse.

“and that, is how sunwoo managed to get stuck inside of our dorms dustbin.”

“so, you’re telling me, at half three in the morning, sunwoo climbed into a tiny ass desk bin as he wanted to prove to you that he could get from one side to the other in thirty seconds or less?” letting out a cackle, your head thrown back as your hand covered the ice cream in your mouth.

sighing, “i miss how things used to be.” putting your spoon into the ice cream tub, resting your chin in your palms as you stared at the scenery occurring outside of the parlour, “i feel the same.” eric replied, huffing a little whilst his lips protruded into a pout as he copied your form, looking at you.

“want to restart?”

“restart?”

“yeah- why not? i’m not saying forget about what’s happened, just, i miss you.”

popping the spoon back into your mouth, a small smile forming on your face, “me too.”

eric was true to his word, every chance your schedules allowed, were you spending time with one another. like nothing had ever changed, and that you were still in school.

but there you were, sprawled across eric’s bed in his small - one man - apartment. both of you laid beside one another on your backs whilst observing the coloured star projector he had pointing to his ceiling.

“hey y/n?” eric whispered, closer to your ear than you expected, the tip of his nose rubbing against the shell of your ear slightly.

copying him, your noses now skimming each other but neither of you daring to move, “yeah?” you whispered back. unknown as to why you were whispering, possibly not wanting to burst the bubble the two of you were entranced in.

“do you miss us?”

smiling slightly before it dropped, recalling all the memories from your younger years, when you lost the love of your life, your best friend, the person who was always there in your time of need. just like you were to him, “i never stopped.”

never did your feelings for eric disappear, some might say you were meant to be together; soulmates your friends and family would say.

in which, probably explains why you were here to begin with, the same place, the same position, the same old

ceiling with the star projector. except, this time you were saying goodbye.

goodbye to eric’s one-man apartment, your life together with your identical rings located on your ring fingers as tiny hands held each of your empty hands. leaving heartbreak in the past, and focusing on loving one another for eternity whilst bringing up your two children that came after three years of marriage.

maybe it was always meant to be this way. maybe you’re meant to go through hard times to be stronger for the person you were always meant to be.

the puzzle was complete, and your happy family decorated the pieces. memories were memories for a reason. what was important was to live in the present, to stop daydreaming of the past, things that could’ve been better, regrets, mistakes- all made and done, but accepting you for you. and being complacent with that.

maybe you’d be stuck inside a daydream for the rest of your life, especially during the tough times. or just maybe, life itself is your daydream.

a knock on the door was what brought you out of your trance, and there you were - seated, cross-legged, on your roommates bed when her suited up boyfriend waltzed in with a familiar man trailing behind him.

eric sohn, the infamous, and handsome, baseball player on campus. the same boy of whom you’ve harboured a crush on for as long as you could remember and-

oh my god?! is he walking up to you?! okay y/n, stay calm!

“hi. i’m eric sohn.”

and that’s where the cassette stops.

[antihero-writings]

Hey world

I don’t usually make posts like this, especially not here, and if it wasn’t 3:00 in the morning I certainly wouldn’t be posting it, but.

I’m feeling a bit down tonight

I had yucky night last night, barely slept at all, then a pretty yucky day today.

I watch youtubers at night to calm down a bit before settling in to go to sleep. Tonight, because I wanted to sleep more than last night, I just wanted to watch a quick video, and go to bed.

However the video I watched ended up sending me into a mental tailspin, because these people I like and look up to were being very negative towards FanFiction. It’s not necessarily something unexpected or that I haven’t heard before, and maybe it was just a joke, but it just hit different today. After feeling crappy all day I just wanted something nice before bed and getting this instead just made me feel really awful.

I love my fics even if no one else does, and I still write for fandoms no one cares about or comments on because I want to write for them. I know the stereotypes about FanFiction in general aren’t true...but it still chips away at me when people treat FanFiction like it’s not real writing, or any of the other terrible things they say. It ignites that little voice in my head saying what I’m doing is worthless.

Lately I’ve been feeling no one really looks at or cares about this blog anymore. I hope that’s not true, that that’s just those negative voices. (And I do know my friends care, and hey, my castlevania stuff got some notes, so that was a huge help these past few days, and the biggest of thank yous to all my friends who stick with me, and to anyone who interacted with those fics or messaged me recently, as well as in the past).

At the same time, I’ve got a number of followers...and still have gotten zero notes on multiple things I posted fairly recently (in addition to in the past). Obviously certain fandoms will get more notes than others, just due to general fandom activity levels, I know that. I know my worth isn’t determined by the amount of notes I get...but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to have a hundred followers and see my own reblogs staring back at me from the notes.

I have to actively fight off that voice telling me I’m worthless every time I post something and it seems like no one cares...and it just gets harder and harder to fight that voice, tell it it’s wrong, when it happens so often.

So...If you are someone who genuinely likes my work...could you please consider saying so today? Be it in the replies, in an ask, commenting on an old fic...whatever. Any way. Even it’s literally just “hey I like your work.” Even the shortest comment is still a comment. 5 words can make the biggest difference in my life. I’m not over exaggerating when I say your comments make my week. There are certain comments I still remember the exact wording of many months later. And tonight ...I’d really like to know people still do care, read and like my work.

If there’s something I’m doing wrong, that’s offputting, that’s keeping people from interacting with my work, or just something I could be doing better, would you please please let me know that as well? I’ve been wondering that for a good while too.(In all likelihood I’ll see your comments on this post in the morning and will be more open to constructive criticism.)

And if you are someone who did/does comment on my fics and/or reblogs them, or someone who replied to me with something nice when I messaged you...even if you’ve only done it once, even if you comment was small...THANK. YOU. Thankyou ThankyouThankyou. Thank you. thank you. THANK YOU. You seriously have no idea how much that means to me. How you shoot a little bit of life back into me, when you do that. How you give me weapons to fight that voice.

I want to be a professional author some day, and writing FanFiction is one step along that road. But a large reason I thought posting FanFiction would be a good step is to start to create a community around my writing early so that when I do write books there’s already some readers...but it doesn’t seem like that happening much at all. There’s always been a voice in my head saying that being a writer is too hard that I’ll never make it. That I’m throwing my life away. But lately that voice has been screaming at me, and I am just so sick of the fight and tonight it’s just...too much.

So if you have any encouragement at all, no matter how small, please I’m begging you to say something. To help me maybe have a better day tomorrow.

I apologize if I’m wasting your time and mine, or if this itself is super offputting. I might even delete this post later. I just...needed to vent tonight.

[halzore]

Weird asks: 21, 50, and 76? 💚

EEEEE my first ask in a while! I always feel like it's christmas time when i get an ask and i love it very much <3 <3

To the questions!!!!!

21, Obsession from Childhood?

AAAAA. Um, bout to expose myself here. But definitely star wars. HOLD UP, because 7 year old me was already writing absolutely terrible fanfic (even though i didn't know thats what it was) I also recently discovered a whole bunch of star wars craft I did around age 7 too. so yeh.

Also doctor who though. LIKE OBSESSED, like knew every little thing and all the names of all the actors who had ever played a companion. Yeah. it got to the point where me and some friends literally wrote a draft Doctor Who episode for a competition. For a bunch of 10 year olds, i am not going to lie, the episode slapped. But Yes. lots of fun.

50, what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

This tiktok , moreover, my sisters reaction to it.

76, Whats my favourite potato food?

WHILST, i can get behind potato in al forms. My favourite has to be hot chips (like fries?? but thicker, like potato is actually present) But chippies from this particular servo (gas station? fuel station? servo.) that i grew up near (and ended up working at) But seriously. I have eaten a lot of chips in my life, and i tell you. the perfect amount of potato, perfect amount of crunch. sprikled with chicken salt and ITS ACTUALLY HEAVEN ON EARTH :):):):):):):):

Thankyou for these lovely asks. (if anyone wants to send me more click here)

[siriuslyshewrote]

1914 - Part One / ?

A/N - So I thought I’d make a little character list before I start writing because there are large families involved, and it may get confusing!

It’s still written in second person (you) but the reader has a name, and a backstory. The reader is French - and has a French name. This will make a bit more sense with the plot hopefully!

Warnings - Swearing, John being a dick at the end of the chapter, mentions of death.

————————————————————

Inés Derouin (you) - (b. 1896) - Ness

Leonard Derouin - (b. 1898) - Leo

Clement Derouin - (b. 1906) - Monty

Gisèle Derouin - (b. 1910) -

Edgard Derouin - (b. 1912) Eddie

————————————————————

storyline based off this prompt

You sat in the dim light of the kitchen, a cigarette dangling from your lips, a crease pulling your forehead together. Your hands shook a little as they gripped the letter in front of you. The worry you’d been hiding for months started to build up, like a monster taunting you.

You glanced towards the jar on the windowsill - an idea your mother had created. When she or your father were paid, and they’d paid all the bills, they’d put the left over cash in there. It was for little things - like new shoes or toys for the younger siblings, or books for you. You had tried your best to keep that going now your mother was no longer here, and your Papa was sick, but your wage couldn’t even stretch over the bills. The jar was most pitifully empty. Not one penny lay in the bottom , and you ran a hand through your tangled hair, pulling out the remaining pins that were still tangled in from your shift late last night.

The door, the front one, banged open all of a sudden, and you jumped, a small shriek elicited from your mouth, until you saw the gaggle of people who crowded down the hall - your younger siblings, and two others. You couldn’t stop a smile coming on your face as you saw John, his little brother Finn hanging off his back, holding a paper plane you’d made him a few days ago. Gisèle, as per usual, was looking up at your best friend with adoration in her eyes. Sometimes, you wondered if you looked like that when you stared at him.

You pushed the letter under a few books. You would figure it out later.

“Nessy!” Your youngest sibling - Eddie, was gripping on tightly to Leo’s shirt, almost like a Koala, as Leo stuffed something into his pocket, a bit of material, or clothing. You paid no mind to it. Leo kept secrets - it was just what he was like.

“Hey, baby!” You almost crooned, took over from your brother, holding Eddie, wiping off some food of some kind from his chubby cheeks.

Your siblings cleared off remarkably fast - Gisèle sneaking off with one of your nurses aprons, most probably to play dress up, Monty to read a comic John had most probably bought him, and Leo mumbling something about going to see your dad.

“Thanks for looking after them today, Johnny.” You grinned at your friend, kissing his cheek in a way of greeting. His face was warm, despite the chilly spring weather outside. You felt you face warm too, at your action, though not in the same way as his, you were sure.

“Was mostly Pol, to be fair.” He replied, smiling, flopping into one of your worn kitchen chairs, expertly avoiding the wobbly one.

“I’m not so sure about that. It’s you they love, more than any of us. Mr God like Shelby.” You joked, laughing. Truly, you loved that your siblings adored the Shelby’s. you knew that if anything should ever happen to you, they would step in and help, and that meant a lot. Especially considering the cloud of death that seemed to follow your family.

“You still coming tomorrow, then?” He questioned, pulling the newspaper on the table towards him, scanning the front page, as he kicked off his shoes. The scene was almost like a little family,you three in the tiny kitchen , and you smiled a little, before pushing the thought out of your brain.

“‘Course, nine isn’t it?” You questioned, pulling plates out of the cupboards.

Tomorrow was , of course , John’s eighteenth birthday, and whilst he didn’t seem that bothered about it exactly, he , and the rest of his family, never turned down an opportunity to spend exorbitant amounts of money on alcohol, and get completely piss drunk. You couldn’t deny that you were looking forward to it, quite a lot.

He nodded yes, in confirmation, but you could see his mind was focused on the paper in front of him.

“Got my present yet, then?” He grinned, cheekily, looking up at you.

“Present? Why would I get you a present?” You deadpanned, before smiling teasingly.

He put on his best wounded face - all wide eyes and pouty lips- before you both sniggered.

You had gotten him a present, obviously, had every year since you were both nine, when you moved to England from France. It was one of the only times you got to show your appreciation for him - he wasn’t particularly a boy who liked to be thanked. Not really. Not by you. As he’d told you a thousand time’s by now, you were kin to him. Practically a sister. He didn’t care about looking out for you.

You tried to pretend that those statements didn’t make your heart ache, just a little. Practically a sister.

He went quiet again, his grin disappearing a little, returning to the front page - something to do with France and Germany that you didn’t quite understand. Did anyone , at this point?

“There’s going to be a war, isn’t there?” You said quietly, as to not let anyone hear - aside from Eddie, who didn’t understand anyway, dishing up food onto the plates.

He paused for a moment.

“Probably.”

“But we’ll be fine right? It doesn’t have anything to do with us?”

Why you expected him to know the answers, you didn’t know. But it was your default. When worried, ask John. Well, it was with most things. The letter practically burning a hole in your table was quite a different matter.

Another pause.

“Nah. We’ll be fine.” Except, he didn’t sound so sure. And neither were you.

——————————————————————————

Several hours later, you smoothed down your skirt - wearing your best ‘I’m very responsible and I promise to give you the rent soon’ kind of dress - after you knocked smartly on your landlords door.

It wasn’t that different to yours - all peeling white paint and chipped paint - though this flat was the ground floor, and yours was several flights of stairs up.

The door swung open not many moments later, quickly. You supposed Geoff Wilson - your landlord - didn’t have much to do anymore. According to your neighbour, Gloria, who was lovely, even though she was a right gossip, Geoff had divorced his wife a few months back, and seemed to have a permanent chip on his shoulder after that. He wasn’t too much older than you - perhaps around twenty three - and you had to admit you felt sorry for him. He had last his father last year, and since then, had taken over as landlord. You supposed he was slightly less of a prat than his dad, who would threaten eviction if the rent was two seconds late.

“Hi, Mr Wilson.” You tried to smile warmly, but your cheeks felt stiff. The letter - one about the rent - was cluctched in your slightly shaking hands.

“Ah, Miss ...”

You were never quite sure if he didn’t know your name, or simply couldn’t pronounce it.

“Inés. Inés Derouin.” You supplied. “Flat 23?”

“Ah yes. The late rent ones-“

“I’m so dreadfully sorry about that.” You hated kissing peoples arses. “But I was just wondering if I could have a few more days? By Friday, I can have the rent-“

“That would mean I would have to wait over a week-“

“I know, and I’m sorry, it’s just with my Papa-“

“Miss Derouin, I’m sorry about your family situation, but that doesn’t change the fact that I need my money.” He didn’t sound all that sorry.

“Look, is there anything I can do? I just need a few more days.” Your voice was desperate and you hated it.

He sighed, paused for a few moments, then an almost smile came into his face.

“There is something, actually.”

Oh god, you hoped he didn’t think you were offering those type of favours-

“Come to a dinner party with me.”

“A dinner party?” It was such a strange request.

“Yes. As I’m sure you’ve heard from the incessant gossiping around this building, I’ve divorced from my wife, and she will be attending, with her new... boyfriend, and I really wish to not make a fool of myself by going alone.” His voice was almost bored.

“Okay. When?”

“Tomorrow. I’ll pick you up around 8:30 ish?”

Your face dropped.

“Is there not anything else?” You asked weakly. John’s smiling face flickered in your brain - you couldn’t miss his birthday.

You knew there wasn’t.

His eyebrow raised. “If you cant come-“

If you can’t come, you’ll get evicted.

“It’s fine. I’ll sort it out.” You smiled, but it fell from your face almost immediately as you turned round after a soft goodbye.

You exhaled, running your hand through your hair. And you couldn’t even go see him tomorrow - you were working. Guilt poooled in your stomach. You’d just fake some type of bug. He’d understand.

Of course he would. But it didn’t make you feel any less miserable about it.

——————————————————————————

The night wasn’t as bad as you had thought it would be, you mused, as you and Geoff neared the apartment building, his jacket draped over your shoulders. He wasn’t as much of an arse as you had previously thought - and you had almost had fun , dancing , and drinking cocktails (which, you had thought with a pang, weren’t nearly as good as Ines at the Garrison), and being flared at by his ex-wife all night. If looks could kill, Geoff had joked, you’d be a pile of ash by now.

But you still couldn’t get rid of the guilt that festered in you all evening, one that kept making your hands tremble, and eyes well with tears that you blinked away. How could you have done anything differently, though? You couldn’t prioritise John over your family, as much as it pained you.

Geoff lit a cigarette next to you, inhaling on the smoke.

“Thankyou for tonight, Ness.” He called you by your nickname - one you had told him to call you, but it didn’t sound right coming from his lips.

“No problem. I enjoyed it.” You smiled at each other, small smiles , that indicated that this wouldn’t happen again , but it was good while it lasted.

It was only when you were almost at the entrance of the building, when you saw him. Standing, leaning against the wall, cigar smoke exuding from his lips, his hair tousled slight. Lipstick on his collar. That made your smile drop even more than when you first saw him - you had been well and truly caught out in your lie. You swallowed slightly, slowing to a stop.

Geoff froze for a second, then uttered a mumbled goodbye, walking fast into the building. Of course, he was just as afraid of the Blinder’s as anyone else in Small Heath. He’d scurried off so quick, he’d left his jacket, still wrapped around your shoulders.

“John-“ You began quietly, walking closer towards him, eyes wide.

“How’s your cough, Ness?” He said coldly - referring to the call you had made to him several hours ago, telling him you were too sick to come to his party.

“John, just let me explain-“ You said quietly - teaching for his hand, which he snatched away.

“Explain what? You know, I was worried about you. I missed half of my fucking party, coming to see if you were alright, for your dad to answer the door, and tell me you’d gone out-“

“It isn’t what it looks like-“

“Really? Cause to me it looks like you just valued some prick of a man over me. Thought we were supposed to be mates.”

That voice, that damn voice. Emotionless, which hit you the most. You’d never heard him like this.

“You know we are.”

“Are we? Because you know what, Inés, I’ve never put anything before you. Whenever you have needed me, I’ve been here. When your dad was sick, when your mum was fucking dying-“

“Stop. That isn’t fair.” Tears began to well in your eyes, and you willed them away. It didn’t work.

He looked like he was going to stop. Just for a moment.

“What’s your excuse then?” His face was pulled into a pained, sarcastic grin.

“What do you mean?”

“What’s your grand story of why you weren’t there?”

“I’m ... I’m behind in rent. I needed an extension-“

His face screwed up, and you swore he got paler.

“So, what’re you saying? You’re a whore now?” He snorted, but his tone was disgusted, and more tears dropped down your face.

“No!”

“Do you want me to pay for this conversation, or do you only charge for different things?” He spat.

“You know what, John Shelby? I was sorry, I really was.” You snapped, jaw tensed. “But you can take your fucking anger somewhere else. I don’t want it.”

And with that, you slammed the door behind you, and stormed up the stairs, sniffling.

[scrumptiousalpacadeer]

A Note on the ‘F’ Word - (Forgiveness is Willy Wonka)

I’ve come to think that forgiveness is a bit like the scene in the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory film where Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory is opened to the public after years of secrecy. In this classic scene, the crowds are gathered at the entrance of this most magical of places - a place that grandparents told their grandchildren of at bedtime in hushed tones; a place of flowing nectar-chocolate and sweets that burns like heaven in our hero Charlie’s imagination; a place they had never truly dared to believe in but dreamed of many times; a place run apparently run by some weirdo eccentric that the cynical masses had given up on long ago. 

That is until five Golden Tickets are sent out into the world...Willy Wonka is opening his factory again.

In the scene, Gene Wilder approaches the eager crowd, leaning and limping heavily with his cane along a red carpet; a look of grim severity on his face. The whole falls silent; all that is heard are the regular steps of Wonka and the taps of his cane. What the hell? This is not what anyone is expecting; this God-like man of mystery and invention  a miserable invalid? The opening of the Chocolate Factory is meant to be an epic event; the whole world is watching.. 

Wilder suddenly stops walking right next to his baffled fans and the world stops, holds its breath; locked in Wonka’s charismatic spell. Then something very weird happens; he begins to topple forward away from his cane - as if he’s had a stroke, or has suddenly died or fainted.... the crowd gasp, utterly horrified. Its the end of everything and it was meant to be the beginning. 

And then....well, Willy Wonka does a perfect forward roll and springs up beaming from ear to ear: it was all a façade of ill-health; a silly joke. The crowd goes wild with relief and joy and the factory’s golden gates open for the day, signalling a new era. 

 The other day I had a phone call out of the blue from an old friend; a friend I hadn’t seen or heard from for eight years. Rahul; my party hard philosopher; he who introduced me to the basics of meditation in my student digs 1996, whom I’d shared hundreds of fags with and laughed and danced hard with at house/techno nights ‘down the Student Union in my final year at London University, 1997. Rahul who I’d watched Sideways with and had half a lager with when I was seven months pregnant. Rahul who often got so insanely drunk and gobby at a party that no-one knew what to do with him. Rahul, wild man of peace; loose canon. Rahul who years became a Maths teacher as I became an English teacher. 

I very nearly didn’t answer the phone because I didn’t recognise the number, but I was in a care-free mood, listening to Radio 3 in the kitchen (how times have changed since 1997), so I picked up. 

One of the first words I said to him was ‘sorry’. ‘Sorry, Rahul!’ - It was weird because I’d been thinking of getting in touch with him for a while to ask his forgiveness. I hoped for an opportunity to say sorry to him for being such a crap friend; for taking him for granted; for being a selfish shit-bag; for not answering his calls, for the years of silence; for draining his resources then abandoning him when I found new pastures. I needed to say thankyou to him for being there for me at times in need; times I’d been hollow in spirit and he’d stepped in, but I hadn’t grasped it at the time. 

“What do you mean? You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, “ he said. “this is how it works with you. Years go by.” That's the thing with forgiveness; it hurts. It pained me that he forgave me without a second’s thought when I knew full well I hadn’t played fair. One time, in our mid-twenties, Rahul had bought me a ticket to go and join him in Atlanta America where he was working in I.T. His generosity was always off the scale.

Since our last meeting Rahul had lost half of his family and was now an orphan. His younger sister had died from a ‘cancer thing’ he told me; his mother crossed the threshold in April this year after contracting Covid in hospital. Her death was a relief, he said. “She was so happy to get the virus; all she wanted was to join her two children.” Apparently there had been a cot death. Rahul was the only one left alive now. He was talking to me from his flat in Hounslow, looking out over the town. 

I had to steady myself on the windowsill as he told me how his world had imploded. I felt the disappearance of his world in my stomach; and a sudden revelation of the nature of our connection. I hadn’t realised it before, but Rahul and I were conjoined by our exiled status. He, more visibly - a boy of high Indian descent inhabiting a West London life of hedonism, doing the drugs and the booze but also somehow accepting an arranged marriage foretold in his stars - a marriage that ended in disaster...Me; a girl from a house of shame and smutty lies and buried criminality, trying to climb the ladder and be so gleaming white and impressive... We both knew how hard it was to play the game in this world; feeling all the time we could only exist outside it.  Perhaps that's why, back in the 1990s, filled with the possibilities of our lives - born out of joint as we were - , we could feel the beat so keenly and dance so crazily together. Rahul and I knew the art of getting wasted and causing trouble.

I enforced the point that I’d been a real bitch and I told him how and why and that he deserved better. I told him of my stark memory of his mother singing sweetly to my baby daughter in Summer 2012, distracting her, so that we could sit and chat in his garden.  I told him I lived in the country now; that so much had changed. “Are you comforted?” he asked. “Are you still Chrissy Woo?” It was always his nick-name for me - a nick-name I didn’t mind. “I don’t think I am,”  I said. “I couldn’t go on like that.” 

Did he know that my father had died...that I was an orphan too? Rahul and my father had met many times so I didn’t inform him of my father’s subtly racist jibe after he’d come over for fish and chips one time. I didn’t tell Rahul about my revelation that my father was, on one level, arguably, as far as I was concerned, often, a ball-less sack of shit (that’s a W.O.P.E. Whole Other Post Entirely - very much related to the ‘F’ word) Out mutual disappointment of our hopeless fathers was the subject of a much longer conversation.  

I think the thing that’s so frickin’ scary about forgiveness as I am just as the very beginnings of understanding it, is the sheer unknowability of the space that comes after it. For my part, all the resentments, angers, prejudices, judgements, pulsing hatreds at times, these were very loyal friends that I woke up with each day without even having the faintest idea I was doing so. Sure, they were ugly and they caused merry hell enough, but, well, at least I knew where I was. At least I was livin, and sometimes that's really hard to do. They were the furniture I manoeuvred around; the reliable chairs I sat in for comfort when I was never good enough; when I just couldn’t keep my head above water. What happens if I let that all go? What will I hold onto? If I know longer want to stab my father with a screw-driver in the manner I meant to stab the lawn today as a form of irrigation for my new grass seed (see previous post and the WOPE I referred to earlier is coming soon) what the fuck happens then? I will have absolutely no idea who I am. Everything has the potential to start looking like Wonka’s Oompa Loompa Land with giant toadstools and chocolate rivers and that’s just too much happiness for anyone, surely, to stomach. I will know that I don’t know anything, and I’ve spent my whole life pretending to know everything. Surely the space will swallow me up, won’t it? How on earth do you start something entirely new? 

There’s that terrifying moment of suspension before something new comes in - like Willy Wonka topping over his cane. There’s those seconds when, learning a new guitar chord, our fingers hover in space over the fret; the new contortions our fingers must make to strike a new sound feels so awkward; so wrong; the muscles tearing into a new shape.. There’s that burning second that we leap out in the dark, blind, towards the possibility of a new tune, we take a mad punt and see where our clumsy fingers land, risk making a new sound... Chances are first few times around we’re gonna fuck it up. It’s agony. Forgiveness feels to me, when it comes in, like a hard grounding grief, a thunderstorm of reluctantly received understanding that wipes out the old and invites me to the chocolate factory. And some days it leaves me entirely and I feel like I’m back in the dumb days again. 

But, and I’m riffing here, I think the answer partly has to do with a belief in change and a steady embracing of transformation; or at least a basic faint belief that it might just be possible. Cynics and miseries say ‘people don’t change,’ ‘things don’t change’, but this is of course undiluted horse-shit. People  transform utterly on a daily basis, all the time...One of the tricks, I’ve learnt, is to spend as large a proportion of time as possible with people who also believe in change and progress - a bit like stocking up on sunlight for those dark hours that must be spent with angel eaters - ( translation: rampant materialists/misery guts who refuse to believe in magic of any sort).

But oh the rewards; oh the sheer mad silly fun of Wonka’s gates opening and guzzling on that chocolate.. The ecstasy of hearing a G major chord sung from your own fair hand. 

I hope to meet up with Rahul this Summer - to see him in the flesh. No doubt it will be somewhat awkward; he’s forgiven me - in fact; he doesn’t see what the problem is. I’m a different person; I’ve had some chunks taken out and they’ve been filled in with wholly different colours. He’s a different person too; I made him promise me on the phone that he would look after himself - so he’ll be made of different colours too. How will we talk to each other? What words will we use? How will we navigate such unknown waters? How do you build something new with someone who looks the same, but is wholly other?..

I have no idea. I think we might just have to chuffing well make it up as we go along; trying to forgive ourselves for all the mistakes we make along the way. 

                                                    *    *   *   *   *

As a random and seemingly unrelated end-note - I went out for a walk down the lane to catch some air mid-blog. What with it being a Saturday night and me being a party fiend, I thought I would ‘pick up some litter’ for fun. I picked up a can of cider and a paper plate. Two cars zoomed past. It struck me that had the drivers of these vehicles happened to take a passing interest in the woman in a camel coat walking alone along the side of the road with an unsteady gate (wellington boots rub my right heel real bad!) and an empty can of cider in her hand they would surely been able to draw only one conclusion: PISS-HEAD!.. OLD SOAK! lonely Saturday night Sussex forty something alcoholic staggering along the lanes with empty cans of cider for company... 

Ah the deception of appearance...

And so, dear reader; Happy Saturday and judgeth not a lady who walketh with a can of cider down a country lane. She might just be a blogger on a break.

I hope you enter the chocolate factory of your choosing some time soon or are already there sampling the delights....

Love from Christine x

[daisymondays]

Hi Gracie! 13 (three favourite characters to write) and 10 (a theme that keeps coming up in your writing) for the ask please! I love reading about your wonderful writing! 💕

Eeee thankyou so much my lovely

3. Three Favourite Characters to Write

Number one is hands down Bucky Barnes by a landslide, and i thought originally this would be the AU version of him only, but I’m currently writing him in canon and having a great time with it. I’m not sure I’d be able to write pure Post-Winter Solider Bucky, but the Infinity War Bucky who is more settled is really great to write. I think he’s one of my favourites to write as I think he’s so interesting, he’s got so many layers as a character as we’ve seen so many sides to him. There’s his pre-War persona where he appears confident, charming, well-liked and easy going, but I also think there’s a lot of insecurity humming underneath the surface but he hides it well. Also, of course since Bucky Barnes is a big queer, I think that adds a lot of layers to his canon self and the way he’d deal with it. Then there’s War Bucky who is starting to unearth some very ugly aspects of his personality, and realise just how far he’s willing to cross the line when he thinks it’s the necessary thing to do -- and to protect Steve. I love brutal Bucky who does the dirty work. And who is utterly terrified of this part of him, and if he can still be a good person while all this is going on. Then there’s Winter Solider Bucky and Post Winter Solider Bucky and how he can reconcile all this and understand who he was then and is now. Up until now I haven’t had the biggest chance to explore all this but i am loving that about this multi-verse fic i’m writing. And while i do love all this about writing that Bucky, gotta say the reason he’s my fave is for his AU personality which is fun, bright, charming and so deeply caring, but again these insecurities hover under the surface and the secrecy he can carry around and the emotional weight he’ll bare if it eases his friends burden. Also one thing I really want to explore is I really think Bucky has some ugly sides to his personality, the charmingness that he can exploit, a carelessness at times, and the fact he’s very bright and brutal means that when he makes a killing blow, either verbally or with a weapon, it makes a mark. Anyway huge rambling about Bucky aside, i love writing him!! he’s swell

Writing anyone in their early 20s in modern day is a blast for me, i love being able to play up that banter and slang and just emotional confusion at life (self insert much)

Also a huge fan of writing Draco, again I find him interesting with the reconliling his past with who he wants to be now. Though of course very different, seeing as Draco got himself into his mess a lot more than Bucky did, though they both do deal with guilt and having people blame them for situations that were beyond their control in the end. Draco again, is to me, very clever and prideful, and i think very interesting to explore. I have a lot of fun with mixing my own sense of humour onto his sharpness, and not smoothing out his edges but moulding them into someone who has experienced a lot of growth in life. and is now worth knowing and liking, but still has to deal with their past constantly. The way he hides his emotions is also fun to explore, and back when i was first stressing about writing Draco @carpemermaidtales said to me that to write Draco all i’ve got to remember is that whatever he’s thinking, he’ll say the opposite and i think thats very true, and makes for a very fun character voice and a lot of exploration to be had

Steve and Harry I can’t actually say are up there, I enjoy writing Harry, and I loved writing Steve in KAFO but I’m not totally comfortable with them. I relate to them both a lot, and they’re two of my fave fictional characters but their voices are very precise and nuanced -- like wow i could go on and on and on about the nuances of Steve, and his pride and moral compass and intelligence, and just everything, but i think its all such a fine line that it is deffo harder to write. Also both of them have such a subtle and precise sass that i often feel i may not do them justice, and find it easier to stick to the more blatant humour I can give someone like Bucky for example

So actually, my third favourite character to write is one of my original ones!! who i am utterly in love with, like this little fucker popped into my head fully formed in a way no original character ever has for me, and I love him. He’s a detective in an urban fantasy verse and is just such a little shit, and i need to start writing it again as i love him. A lot. And could squeal about him all day ahaha

XXX

Noah groans, dropping down into his seat and summoning the first folder to him with a flick of his fingers.

“I got you coffee,” Carol says, not looking up.

“You’re the best person in this place.” Noah means it. He’s not sure what he’d do without Carol most days. She’s the person he trusts to have his back, and more than that they’ve become good friends in the years they’ve worked their ways up the ranks together. He balances the folder on his lap and leans forward to pick up his usual mug, red with a sleeping dog on. There’s a chip in the handle and it ruins Noah’s morning if anyone else picks it up.

“How’s your arse?” Carol asks.

“Delightfully perky. I think those squats are paying off.”

Carol rolls her eyes and Noah grins back. “I meant after being reamed by Morgan.”

“Kinky.”

She laughs. “I’ll take it it’s sore then.”

Noah doesn’t want to discuss the dressing down he’s received from the Special Agent already. He’s not even been here half an hour. He’ll bemoan his situation later with a pint in his hand.

He takes a sip of his coffee before saying, “The coffee’s cold.”

“Really sore then.”

The problem is Carol knows him too well, she see’s right through his — admittedly pathetic — attempts at deflection.

“And badly made,” he adds. “I’m going to need some actual caffeine during lunch.”

“You can say you want Hot Shots, I don’t judge you anymore.”

“You never stop judging me.”

Carol taps her pen and smiles. “True.”

He’s an idiot aka i love him and need to get back to writing this !!!

10. Answered (badly) Here

FanFic Asks

[dunewizard]

1, 16, 21, 24 :)

ooh! yes yes yes yay!Thankyou friend I love u thankuur the best

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

I love you so - The WaltersYell it Out - The DerevolutionsLook Alive - YabadumHands Down - The Greeting Committee. Youth - Glass AnimalsButtercup - Jack StauberI encourage anyone to listen to these songs!! I love them very much and remind me of friends!!

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favourite band?

I always come back to Spoon as my favourite band, but I also love Yabadum very very much

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Ryan Gosling esp in Drive it feels like such a common answer as hes such a handsome man but I mean cmon idk lmao

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

Unplayed Steam Games, Ive still got about 100+ that I havent touched. I’d just pick em up in sales or get them for free or as gifts, one day I’ll get around to it.Though I used to collect Dragon statues. I loved the things, I remember being like 14 years old and having a room with about 40+ statues from Cheap as Chips. I think my mum threw em out eventually tho :(

[weofthe100a]

“it’s okay.. it’s okay, styxx.” / u know who 😈

Not a meme lilly just likes to hurt me and my poor son who’s been hurt enough thankyou

It wasn’t okay. This was the opposite of okay. He couldn’t remember how he’d gotten here; the last thing he remembered was being held down, something on his tongue, water poured and a hand clamped over his his mouth until he swallowed. Then... a constant struggle. 

Until her voice started to pull him back from the city he’d never wanted to be in. He’d had moments of clarity, moments where he fought the chip’s influence, where he was able to come back to reality even if he couldn’t fully control himself. Things seemed to make so much sense with ALIE by his side. She spoke so eloquently, everything she said was logical, rational, it made so much sense. 

But did it? Attacking Ryan, that made sense? Because she was challenging ALIE? No, not because of that, the woman said; because she was challenging Styxx. People didn’t challenge Styxx, not for long anyway. So it had made sense in the moment, sense enough to grab her, throw her to the ground. 

But the gun changed things. His eyes had darted to the gun, ALIE encouraging him to take it, use it, finish it... but he couldn’t. His eyes fell away from the gun without moving so much as an inch toward it. 

She didn’t hesitate though, and in a moment it was in her hands, pointed at him. He didn’t fear being shot, didn’t fear pain or blood, he’d been in pain and bleeding for most of his life. His strides didn’t falter as he stalked toward him, threat in every hard line of his body. 

Then the muzzle was against her forehead, and something in him snapped. ALIE knew the moment the connection broke, the very second she lost control over him, and with panic in his eyes he dove for the gun, wrapped long fingers around it, keeping his finger on the trigger, keeping her finger from being able to pull it if that was her intention. ALIE was agitated, not yelling, but forceful. Insistent. Demanding. She was losing him and struggling to regain control over his mind. 

But his mind had snapped the second the gun faced her head. He’d seen people shot, had shot people. He knew what they looked like. Knew what could happen if she pulled that trigger. He couldn’t let that happen. Not now. Not ever. ALIE or no ALIE, even as she calmly raged behind him, telling him to pull the trigger, trying to pull him back to her. 

“it’s okay.. it’s okay, styxx.”

Her soft voice, gentle and forgiving, was the final straw and he pulled the gun away from her, ignoring ALIE as surely as he’d learned to ignore the insults growing up, and threw it across the floor. It would be smarter to keep it near, ALIE would be sending reinforcements, but more important was for her to know he wasn’t going to suddenly turn and use it on her. He needed it far away for her to trust that he was back. The second the cool metal left his skin he pulled her to him, wrapped his arms around her and held her to him, knowing he was probably in for a beating for almost killing her and willing to take whatever she wanted to mete out to him so long as he got to hold her for a second. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, feeling a foreign burning behind his closed eyelids as he clutched her to him, his face buried in her hair. “I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I- I’d never, I’m so sorry.” 

If either of them should have had a gun to their head, it should have been him. He was worse than he’d ever thought. Worse than anyone had warned him he was going to be. 

[redmxnn]

Lewis Redman Imagine- VIP

Request/Summary:  Hi can I have an imagine where you and Lewis have a 1-2 year old daughter and you take her to upload and everyone in the VIP room is obsessing over her? Thanks 💗 I love your writing xx 

Hi can I have an imagine where your daughter walks for the first time at upload and everyone is there to see it, thanks! Sorry if this doesn't make sense. English isn't my first language :)

A/N: I combined these two requests because i felt like they went good together, hope thats okay x 

“Thankyou” You spoke to the security guard who was helping you with directions. You had made your way to Upload event after receiving a phone call from your lovely boyfriend Lewis who had forgotten his lunch and didn’t have enough time to go and get any. You obliged and entered the building with a small bag of lunch and snacks as well as your soon-to-be two year old daughter, Madeline.

You searched the hallway the man had directed you down for any indication of where the VIP room was. “Y/N” a sweet voice called out causing you to turn around and face them. “Hey” You smiled at Freya who had called your name. “Hey little Maddy” Freya cooed at your daughter who rested on your hip. “I didn’t know you were coming today sweetpea” She continued playing with your daughters small hands. “Daddy forgot his lunch so we had to bring him some, didn’t we” You explained talking to your daughter and Freya. “Silly daddy” Freya continued talking to Maddy who was happily amused.

“He’s in here” Freya directed you to the VIP room thankfully. A few familiar and unfamiliar faces turned to you as you entered the room with Freya. Lewis made his way over smiling ear to ear. He immediately took Maddy into his arms who perked up at her father. “Thank you” Lewis spoke as he kissed your cheek. “It’s okay” You replied handing him the small bag.

“Hey Y/n,” A few of your friends made their way over to you. “I didn’t think you were coming today?” Gee asked. “Neither did I” You replied slightly chuckling. Your friends engaged you in a friendly conversation about how their day had been and all the drama at the event so far. Your eyes drifted off to where Lewis was still holding Madeline.

He carefully played with her earning small laughs and joyful screams out of her. From bouncing her on his hip, tickling her belly and carefully ‘throwing’ her in the air. Lewis spotted you watching the interaction and smiled over to you. He waved Maddy’s hand in your direction getting her to notice you as well. You smiled and waved back to them.

Maddy fidgeted in Lewis’ grip wanting to get down. He placed her on the ground holding her hands to keep her from toppling over. You had pretty much left the conversation happening around you, as you were only focused on your beautiful daughter.

You smiled as she looked over to you. She slowing but carefully began to take her first small steps towards you. Your expression quickly changed as you looked up to Lewis in shock. His face matching yours. You looked back towards Maddy, once again smiling. You bent down and opened your arms guiding her to walk towards you. You and Lewis happily called out as she entered your arms, managing to walk across the room.

Once again everyone in the room eye’s turned to you confused at the noise. “She took her first steps” Lewis called out to anyone who was listening. All of your friends cheered out, celebrating the joy. You placed Maddy on your hip, as you couldn’t stop smiling.

“Honestly she makes my ovaries hurt,” Gee giggled as she came over to the small group. “Careful now, don’t let Josh (Chip) hear” Freya joked back at her. “She’s too cute” Josh spoke as he made his way over to you and Lewis. “She’s the cutest baby I’ve ever seen” Vik gushed. “How many babies have you seen?” Josh joked towards Vik at his statement.

Simon came over and placed a sticker on Maddy’s t-shirt that read VIP. You looked to Simon confused at his action before he began to speak. “VIP, She’s a very important person” Simon explained. Lewis and you began to kindly laugh at his gesture.

“She’s the most important person,” Lewis stated. “Hey what about me?” You joked as Lewis’ arm snaked behind your back. “You are both VIPs” Lewis spoke, causing you both to chuckle at his reply.

[robbinsarizonas]

Recovery

An anon sent me a message that said ‘Omg please use your amazing writing skills to create a long fluffy fic about what happens when Owen takes Amelia home. Them eating together and him helping her into bed and fixing her bandage pleaseeee.’ first thing, thankyou so much anon, this made me smile a lot <3 I don’t think I have a amazing fic writing skills, but thankyou xD I hope you like it :)

They pulled up into the familiar driveway and it took a few seconds before either of them actually decided to move and get out of the car. Darkness surrounded them, even more so since the area around the house was pretty enclosed with trees. Amelia slowly stepped out of the car, planting her feet on the ground below and looking at her new surroundings. Even though she had been here in the time she had been away, she had never stayed for longer than a few minutes, or any longer than she had to. Now it was different. Now she was here to stay.

“Are you coming? It’s getting cold...” Owen said with a smile, waiting a few paces away from the door for his wife to follow. “Do you need any help...? uh, I can...” Owen thought out loud, hurrying over to where Amelia was still standing, she hadn’t even moved an inch.

“Owen, it’s okay.” She said, walking towards him and gesturing for him to move along when she caught up. “Now who’s holding us up.” She said with a small grin.

Owen unlocked the door and turned on the light, the light switch being literally on the very first wall you came across when entering the house. The lights sprung on all around the living room and Owen headed over to the couch, putting down Amelia’s bag which he had insisted on carrying before they had even left the hospital parking lot. Amelia didn’t move, she stood absolutely still in doorway, looking like she had just arrived on an alien planet, and she didn’t quite know how to proceed.

“Do you want to-you should sit down.” Owen said, moving the bag onto the floor so there was space for Amelia to sit on the couch and put her legs up if she wanted to.

Amelia didn’t say anything, but walked over to the couch and sat down. She sat right at the closest edge and lifted up her legs so she was sideways on, squishing herself back into the pillows and accidentally letting a yawn slip out. She was still so tired, yet practically all she had done in the hospital was sleep.

“Food.” Owen said, walking over to the entrance of the kitchen and stopping before going in. “What do you feel like?” He asked.

The fridge and all of their storage cupboards were absolutely filled up with everything Amelia liked to eat. He had spent so much money and bought so much more food than they probably ever needed, but none of that even mattered. Amelia was what mattered.

“What do we have?” Amelia asked. “You didn’t actually buy an entire grocery store and try to stuff it in our kitchen did you?” She hadn’t actually seen the state of the kitchen, so she really had no idea, but from how Owen was behaving, she had a feeling that maybe he had gone a little overboard.

Owen laughed, even recovering from brain surgery she still had that sense of humor. “Let me see.” He said, disappearing into the kitchen and coming out a few moments later with his arms full of choices.

“On your snack side, we have, potato chips, various flavours.” He said, trying to put everything down without actually dropping it. “M&Ms, Oreos, Cheetos - the hot kind, Pop tarts...” He said, pointing to various snack foods which were now laid out on their floor. “I’ve got..” He got up again, heading back into the kitchen and coming back with more choices. “Doughnuts, waffles, pancake mix...” He listed, putting the packages down with the others. “And we’ve got bacon, plenty of eggs, turkey, burgers and microwave fries in the fridge.” He stopped this time, taking a breath because that had been a lot.

“So you did buy a grocery store then.” Amelia joked, even though she was entirely grateful. “Scrambled egg?” She suggested. She wasn’t feeling anything huge, but if she started small she could always have more later, it wasn’t like they were in danger of running out.

“Scrambled egg coming right up.” Owen said, getting up and heading into the kitchen.

The scrambled egg didn’t take very long, Owen emerged out of the kitchen with a tray containing the plate with the egg, a knife, a fork and a spoon.

“Dinner is served.” He said, walking over to the couch before noticing Amelia was fast asleep.

He put the tray down on the floor next to her, and left the room so he didn’t disturb her. She could eat later, the food wasn’t going anywhere. He sat down on the edge of the big double bed he had only just started sleeping in again, because the couch was not exactly the best replacement bed in terms of comfort and getting a good night’s sleep. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The past couple of days had been crazy. He had barely allowed himself to feel anything, because he wasn’t sure how he would react if he did. Even though Amelia’s time in hospital had been pretty quick as far as recovery times went, and she had so far experienced no complications, his stress level had remained mountain level high.

“She’s okay.” He told himself, saying the words out loud, but so quietly no one else would have been able to hear. “She’s okay.” He repeated. “She’s home.”

About an hour later Owen began to hear movement coming from somewhere outside the bedroom. Since their house was pretty small, you could hear everything from everywhere, almost all the time. Getting up in the night for a bathroom run required tip-toe precision. He put down his book on the bedside table and got off of the bed, pulling the bedroom door open and walking towards the living room.

“Amelia?” He said before he had actually got there. There was question in his voice, but it wasn’t like it was going to be anyone else, they were the only two in the house.

He entered the living room to find the couch absolutely empty, and no Amelia in sight. Her tray was still on the floor, completely untouched, and one of the extra cushions for the couch had been moved onto a chair just opposite.

“Amelia?” He called, walking into the kitchen.

No Amelia in the kitchen.

“Amelia?” He called again, getting worried now. This was the third time, and no response.

A few seconds later Amelia appeared coming down the hallway.

“Bathroom.” Amelia said, going back over to the couch and sitting herself back down again, picking up her tray from the floor. “This looks great.” She said with a sleepy smile.

“Hopefully it tastes great too.” Owen said, calming himself down. “Do you need anything else?” He asked, sure the answer was going to be no, but he had to be sure.

“I’m fine, Owen.” Amelia said, picking up her fork and beginning to pick at her egg. “I’m okay.” She said, looking Owen right in the eyes, noticing he didn’t seem very convinced.

“Okay.” Owen nodded, putting his hands in his pockets and looking around. He wasn’t sure what to do next, he had spent so much of his energy on making sure the house was great for Amelia, and making sure she was okay, now things were calming down he felt a bit out of sorts.

“You can come sit down.” Amelia suggested. “It’s not like I’m contagious or anything.” She added, taking another mouthful of her egg.

Owen walked over to the couch and sat down, taking his hands out of his pockets and pushing himself up against the couch cushions. He had spent so much time alone in this house over the past few months, he had started to doubt he would ever be able to share it with the woman he loved again. He looked over at Amelia eating her eggs, and he couldn’t believe she had actually come home when he had asked her too, just like that.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Owen said, walking into their bathroom and stopping Amelia from what she was trying, and failing, to do by herself. “Let me.” He said, bending down so his legs where crouched and he was level with Amelia, who was sitting on the closed lid of the toilet and looking into a small round mirror on the counter above.

She let him without a fight, and he took hold of the bandage that was wrapped around Amelia’s head and slowly started to take it off.

“You don’t have to do everything for yourself.” He said, unwrapping as carefully as he could, noticing Amelia flinching and her fists becoming clenched. “2 more seconds.” He said, taking the bandage completely off and putting it down next to him before inspecting Amelia’s incision site. “It’s healing nicely.” He said, picking up the roll of bandage and starting to unroll a new piece.

“Good.” Amelia said, holding her hair back so it didn’t fall into the wrong place.

“There...” Owen started, wrapping a new piece of bandage around Amelia’s head as gently as he possibly could.

Amelia swallowed, putting a new one on was currently worse than taking the old one off, and that hadn’t been great for her. She clenched her fists tighter and closed her eyes. It was only going to take a second, and then it was going to be okay again. It was only going to take a second.

“We...” Owen continued, almost finished at this point. “Go.” He finished, letting go and standing up. The crouching had given him horrible leg cramps, he made a mental note never to do that again, even if it seemed like a good idea.

Amelia breathed out. It was done. It was over. It was okay now.

“Ready for bed?” Owen asked, because he certainly was, he hadn’t had a full night sleep in days.

“I think so.” Amelia agreed, standing up slowly and waiting for Owen to open the bathroom door, following him out once he had done so.

“I can take the couch.” Amelia said once they were back in the living room. She didn’t want to move too fast, just in case things got messed up again. They seemed to be moving forward, but Owen had been ready to leave her before finding out about the tumor, and she really didn’t blame him. Something like that, it takes a while to come back from.

“That’s not happening.” Owen point blank disagreed. There was no way he was going to let his recovering wife sleep on the couch, that was just not happening.

“It’s fine.” She said, not making eye contact when she glanced up at Owen.

“There’s enough room for both of us in that bed.” He said. He didn’t want things to stay broken between them. He really did want things to get better. This he figured, was the first step.

“Okay.” Amelia backed down. She was fine with sleeping in the bed, as long as he was. She still wasn’t sure she was okay with this whole ‘him taking care of her’ thing, but she was getting there, slowly.

When they reached the bedroom Owen opened the door and stood like some kind of usher, showing Amelia to her room at a fancy hotel, causing her to erupt into laughter.

“Thankyou.” She half curtsied, a smile spread right across her face as she walked over to the bed.

Owen pulled back the bed sheets and gently supported Amelia’s back as she got into bed, before going around to the other side and getting in himself.

“Light on, light off?” He asked, grabbing a remote they kept by the side of the bed to control the bedroom lights.

“Light off.” Amelia answered, making herself comfortable.

“Light off.” Owen repeated as he pressed the button to turn off the lights. “Goodnight.” He said quietly.

“Goodnight.” She said back, closing her eyes and trying to drift off again.

[wildlyhardphilosopher-blog]

Dog Training 32256 | Take A Look At This Now

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Dog Training 32256 | Take A Look At This Now

Primary and Secondary Select one of the following: Tamara asks…This question is about: Filter by Categories Ph: (02) 9797 7922 more Pellets Supplements Aggressive toward people Thankyou George! Can’t wait to give you positive updates! See more Saunders, Blanche (1969). Training You to Train Your Dog, New York: Howell Book House. ISBN 0-87605-457-2 Murray Bridge Veterinary Clinic From here, the pups will move in with their puppy raising families for a year of serious guide dog training. And while it’ll be hard for these guys to say goodbye to their little friends, they know they’ll go on to make a huge difference to the lives of others! Dog pickup and delivery service, dog boarding in Sydney with A LA CARTE menu, dog sales with world wide delivery. Wikimedia Commons Broken Hill Cost: $120 plus GST for 3 one-hour sessions Don’t get caught out Replacement White Cards Dog walking training and certification class for dog walkers. School for dog trainers. Dog business consulting for dog trainers, dog walkers, dog daycares, pet sitters, and dog boarding facilities. ‘A Perfect Spot’ Dog Training Search this site Dogs Victoria Post: P.O. Box 71 Tamar Street, Ballina NSW 2478 Follow us on Twitter Free Seminars & Workshops Handlers will practice and be coached on strategies to manage their reactive dogs. Facebook © 2018 canine scholar tomorrow We provide owners with a range of quality products, along with expert advice each Sunday morning. Dog Boarding School Dog Training Classes Group classes held in Ringwood, Thursday Evenings and Sunday Mornings. From Puppies to Advanced. First Lesson Free. … reviews Meet Dally and find out more Search in title Behavioural Consultations Jump up ^ Schilder, Matthijs B.H.; Joanne A.M. van der Borg (2004). “Training dogs with help of the shock collar: short and long term behavioral effects”. Applied Animal Behaviour Science. 85 (3): 319–334. doi:10.1016/j.applanim.2003.10.004. Apprentice Resources See more Chicken Show all Kadina Veterinary Clinic 07 Sep 2017 9:38:27am Puppy Training Programs Anyone wishing to do a private consult will need to complete a client profile and a detailed history of their dog before their first private to help the instructor have as much previous history on the dog as possible. This will be emailed to you by our training team once you have made payment. Giving Managing Biosecurity in Victoria TV specials Discover the many ways we work to improve animal welfare. Certificate III In Engineering – Light Fabrication – Sheet Metal 07 Sep 2017 9:45:40am URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3Dg6eB8IeX_cs General: Make a difference in an animal’s life today! Cost: $110.00 Punishment is operationally defined as an event that lowers the probability of the behavior that it follows. It is not “punishment” in the common sense of the word,[40] and does not mean physical or psychological harm and most certainly does not mean abuse. Punishment simply involves the presentation of an undesired consequence (positive punishment) when the wrong behavior is performed, such as a snap of the leash, or the removal of a desired consequence (negative punishment) when the wrong behavior is performed, such as the trainer eating the cheese that would have been the reward.[41] A behavior that has previously been developed may cease if reinforcement stops; this is called extinction. A dog that paws its owner for attention will eventually stop if it no longer receives attention.[42] 4,359 people like this Jockey Webdesign For Job Opportunities at the Guard Dog Training Centre Sydney, please go to our Job Opportunities page for all the information. Positions Vacant Related changes Go down to his level and say, “Come,” while gently pulling on the leash. Class Schedule I wish they could come to my school and do my class Creating canine scholars since 2002 Natasha Thiele VIP Value Packages – Huge discount of up to 20% for purchasing multiple courses Burch, Mary R.; and Jon S. Bailey (1999). How Dogs Learn, New York: Howell Book House ISBN 0-87605-371-1 Fisheries in Victoria Recalls with distraction Long Leads Adelaide Pet Dog Training History[edit] © 2018 All Rights Reserved Bark Busters Home Dog Training We really appreciate the extra trouble you both go to so that we can be part of the class. I am really enjoying it and Miss B seems to have settled into it really well. Your expertise, patience and unfailing good humour are an unbeatable combination!

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fbq('track', 'ViewContent', content_ids: 'dogtraining.dknol', ); Uncategorized Is your pup ready to play? Space is limited to 6 puppies per playgroup, so Register today! Kapunda & Districts Kennel & Obedience Dog Club To qualify for inclusion on the Force-Free Trainers List, trainers must hold one or more formal qualifications in positive, force-free dog training methods. The full list of qualifications can be found HERE. Dog walking Knox Obedience Dog Club Incorporated (KODC) is a volunteer organization, run by members, for members.  If you would like to get involved, please let us know. Accessibility help Are you planning a holiday? Why not take advantage of boarding your dog with us and at the same time we can train your dog, groom your dog, micro chip your dog! Online Store 2 School 2.2 War years Felix Keep your puppy or dog on their leash at all times, unless instructed otherwise by your trainer the science of how your dog learns Discussion Questions Monday to Friday – 7:30am to 5:00pm (AEST) The best start in life puppy training Shelters Email us: customerservice@cttg.sa.gov.au Dog desexing Pups between the ages of 9–12 weeks who were permitted to observe their narcotics-detecting mothers at work generally proved more capable at learning the same skills at six months of age than control puppies the same age who were not previously allowed to watch their mothers working.[54] A 2001 study recorded the behaviour of dogs in detour tests, in which a favorite toy or food was placed behind a V-shaped fence. The demonstration of the detour by humans significantly improved the dogs’ performance in the trials. The experiments showed that dogs are able to rely on information provided by human action when confronted with a new task. Significantly, they did not copy the exact path of the human demonstrator, but adopted the detour behavior shown by humans to reach their goal.[55] A 1977 experiment by Adler and Adler found that puppies who watched other puppies learn to pull a food cart into their cages by an attached ribbon proved considerably faster at the task when later given the opportunity themselves. At 38 days of age, the demonstrator puppies took an average of 697 seconds to succeed, while the observers succeeded in an average of 9 seconds.[56] Palmerston, Northern Territory Take me to: Copyright © 2018 Delta Institute Good Leadership and Communication A powerful philosophical approach. Reactive Rover Training Class Earn up to triple PETstock Dollars on grooming and training. First Name Puppies sense our confidence levels and will take control if they perceive us as weak. When this happens, bad behaviors, such as excessive barking, chewing, leash-pulling, or anxiety, will develop. 01 Sep 2017 2:31:16pm Decimal Numbers More samples on youtube.com Obedience Training – Bitesuit Training Attack and Man Stopper Training Pet type(s):  Behavioural problem? Contact us At 2-3 months of age, a puppy does not have reliable control of their bladder. You can begin housebreaking them from the moment you bring them home but practising patience will make this transition easier. Use positive reinforcement when your puppy shows successful signs of housebreaking and consistently return them to the appropriate place when they make a mistake. Establishing the right patterns means your puppy will be housebroken as soon as they master the control of their bladder. Book Now Training classes are suitable for dogs and puppies from 12 weeks of age. Puppies under 12weeks of age can attend Puppy Preschool at Hills Veterinary Centre where Sharon runs the course. Our dog training classes are held outdoors which gives your dog an excellent opportunity to learn in a distracting environment and practice in a real life setting. Dog classes provide great socialising experiences for your dog or puppy. Lost + Found Have you lost your pet? The AWL Lost + Found is here to help! Read more How to prevent problem behaviours Freedom No Pull Balance Harness from $42.00 – available in nine colours. Flexible training for Apprentices & Employers Jump up ^ Burch, Mary R; Duane Pickel (1990). “A toast to Most: Konrad Most, a 1910 pioneer in animal training”. Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis. 23 (2): 263–4. doi:10.1901/jaba.1990.23-263. PMC 1286234 . PMID 16795731. DUCE Site Specific Induction Why Group Classes? Phone: 0437 921 289 (Emergency) Cost: $35 plus GST per 40 min promenade Links Hunter Region (Rutherford) Customer service seems to be a dying breed but not for you guys at Blue Dog. Thanks again. – Sharon Yallop Blog Student 2016 Discussion Forum Animal First Aid Freedom No Pull Balance Harness from $42.00 – available in nine colours. Class Three Cost: $200 plus GST for a customised 90-minute consult. Subsequent 60-minute sessions are $100 plus GST By the time you reach Level 4, your dog should be pretty well trained. But there’s always room for improvement! This class works on off leash skills – staying close, recall away from dogs, being settled while other dogs are playing very close and more.  Your dog will be able to learn more advanced tricks and solve tougher brain games. You might be aiming to compete or just love spending time with your dog – the end result is a great team built on mutual respect and great times together. Cost: $150 Reward Based Training Monday – Friday Explore subtleties and complexities. Puppy School (Part 1) Adopting from a shelter To check availability of Urban Loose Lead Walking in Carindale (only available in Carindale) click here.  To enrol… read more Facebook Training methods[edit] How to prevent your puppy from doing damage or getting into mischief Featured By utilising all methods of technology available today, individuals around the country will have the opportunity to train directly with Steve and Vicki Austin, world renowned dog trainer. Email: * Don’t Be A Square Handlers will practice and be coached on strategies to manage their reactive dogs. · 6 April 2018 We want to reward you for taking great care of your buddy! Small Dogs Live Large! We value your feedback Beginners Class Lifestyle guidance Veterinary Services Teach him to come when called. Come Jasper! Good boy! Teaching him to come is the command to be mastered first and foremost. And since he’ll be coming to you, your alpha status will be reinforced. Get on his level and tell him to come using his name. When he does, make a big deal using positive reinforcement. Then try it when he’s busy with something interesting. You’ll really see the benefits of perfecting this command early as he gets older. Dog Behavior School | Top Tips Here Dog Behavior School | Effective Solutions Dog Behavior School | Unique Solutions Legal | Sitemap