#(and saying that *here* is controversial apparently i swear)

[helpful-hardware]

sometimes i remember this site has a reputation for a reason. so many people just end up running with shit that is so incongruent with reality it just makes me baffled like

how do you even exist. why the fuck did you come to That specific conclusion about yourself like ?????

[aerynwrites]

Hi! Just wanted to say that I admired your work, and you have pushed me to write again. I hope you have a good day. (Sorry,

a little awkward here)

If you don't mind, I have a request. I always wonder how Gale, Halsin, or whoever you would like to write would react to a Tav that her/their love language is physical touch and/or gift giving (like little crafts and stuff.) Thanks!

ooo i love this idea!! Did it in HC format so I could do both Halsin and Gale (+ Dammon bc I love him lol). I hope you enjoy my friend!

Having an S/O whose love language is Physical Touch and Gift Giving

Gale

I definitely take Gale as someone who loves physical touch but doesn’t like PDA.

So he reserves all his touches for when you all are alone or away from prying eyes.

But he does love it.

He loves when you cuddle up to him when he reads, putting his arm around you and pulling you close as he reads to you.

he also loves holding your hand, intertwining your fingers together.

And he loves kisses.

Kisses to your lips, your cheeks, your nose, etc…

He especially loves leaving kisses to your neck/shoulders when you are lying in bed or just before you wake up.

No when it comes to gift giving, I don’t feel like Gale is particularly familiar with relieving gifts from romantic partners - at least not the small but still meaningful ones.

He keeps anything and everything you give him, always telling you what he likes about it and stuff.

If it’s something he can wear/use you bet your ass he is using it or wearing it all the time.

Halsin

Halsin, as we all know, is not a shy man.

He loves to touch you and doesn’t give a fuck who sees lmao.

He will hold your hand or tug you closer to his side, even kiss you whenever and wherever. He does not care, he just loves having you close and feeling your skin against his own. Even in a non sexual way.

I also know this man loves to cuddle okay??

Like I feel like he runs warm, so at night he probably doesn’t sleep with a shirt on and just has you tucked against his chest.

And he obviously, loves to kiss you just like Gale lmao.

He’s always sneakin’ a lil’ kiss.

When it comes to gift-giving, he loves the little things you bring him.

Whether it be some honey you found at the market or small little malformed wooden figures you tried your best to whittle.

He keeps and cherishes them all, something you don’t find out until you find his little stash in his pack.

If you ask him about it, he just smiles that wonderful smile and tells you he likes to have a piece of you close to him at all times.

Dammon

Okay, possible controversial idea but uh…

I feel like Dammon is a bit touch starved.

Not because he doesn’t like touch or anything but with his home being thrust into he hells and most of his time spent in the forge I just don’t see him spending time much with others.

So when it becomes apparent that your love language is physical touch, he’s a tiny bit lost at first.

But he reciprocates after a while, and soon he finds out he loves that shit too.

He loves to hold your hand, even presses a kiss to your knuckles everyonce and a while, especially if you’re both just lounging around.

I definitely peg him as one of those guys that does the whole “hand on your lower back when he passes behind you” thing and if that doesn’t make you weak in the knees idk what will.

also his tail?? I’m sorry but that man projects his emotions with his tail i swear.

You find it wrapped loosely around your leg a lot when you’re cuddled up in bed, holding you close just like his arms do.

Now, when it comes to gift giving - I think he is more used to being the one to give rather than receive.

so when you first give him a gift he is really surprised and can really only mutter a stuttered flustered thank you.

I feel like your first gift to him might be a new scarf, so even if he didn’t verbalize it well you know he loves it when he wears in nonstop for weeks after you gave it to him.

anything else you give him, small hand made trinkets and baubles, etc… you’ll soon see proudly displayed scattered around his forge.

[doberbutts]

Hey! don't know if anyone mentioned this I know it's been a few months but if you want to see how imane khelif is tme while still being the direct target of a transvestigation- How has the results of that played out? JK Rowling is facing concequences for her transmisogyny for the first time in her 7 years being an open terf. The difference that can be seen is when you transvestigate a trans woman you will find the damning evidence and thus you can ostracize the trans woman without concequence, As JK Rowling has specifically done multiple times. and when you transvestigate a cis woman and attempt to ruin her life- The transvestigation will fail and the cis woman will have legal recourse to demand concequences for the harassment. does that make sense?

Oh I made a followup post about it which I guess you didn't see.

But yes, Khelif was able not only to continue to compete, but also to bring charges against those who were her loudest detractors. Whether anything comes of that, we will see, but it was apparently scary enough for many to either retract their claims or to issue an apology. I also said that while I understand Khelif's legal situation likely will not allow her to do so, I wished she had words of solidarity and support for trans women who do not have this option.

However, not included in my post and not included in your point here is that this does not always work out this way.

Another cis woman by the name of Castor Semenya faced similar accusations, was forced to undergo invasive medical testing and have her results available for the public to see, and was promptly disqualified due to refusing to undergo mandatory hormonal "treatment" for her newly discovered intersex condition she swears she did not know she had.

Khelif was not subjected to this. Khelif swears that she is perisex and states no one has made her undergo any amount of testing nor has she agreed to do so. It may very well be that she also has an intersex condition she is unaware of, but the point is that one cis woman was able to sidestep this process and one was not. Semenya has not been able to make legal headway in her discrimination case.

There are a lot of factors here. Different ruling bodies, different sports, different years. Khelif is North African and Semenya is South African. Semenya is several shades darker than Khelif. Legally speaking, it is illegal for Khelif to exist as a queer woman in her own country, but significantly less so in Semenya's. And it does not help that Khelif's detractors were emboldened by the end result of Semenya's controversy.

In my original post on the subject, I even said that one could say that Khelif does have some level of privilege because she is specifically able to lean on the fact that she is not a trans woman in order to escape the worse of it, IF it works, because it doesn't always. I also mentioned that there were people supporting her who specifically did so because she is not a trans woman. My questioning was more along the lines of- how can we call this exempt when there was absolutely transmisogyny happening to her right at that very moment?

Having privilege is not the point of the conversation, because I do not disagree overall on that front. Saying someone is exempt from their own experiences or deciding for them that something is going to go a certain way, when we have seen that it is not always so clearcut, was more what I was asking about.

[thollandneedy]

hiii can you make something inspired by the video of tom protecting zendaya from the paparazzi

Worthy- Peter Parker

A/n: Peter being protective, ugh (give it to meeeeee). Btw, thank you for the request babe 🥰

Warnings: Mentions of death, swearing, mentions of vomit, anxiety attack symptoms and aggressive approach

Don’t forget to share, like, comment and leave your ideas here

Bellah’s Masterlist 🪻

It was no surprise to anyone that Peter Parker was dating Tony Stark's daughter, but it was the first time they had appeared publicly at an event together. After some catastrophes caused by the Avengers after their last mission in Berlin, in order to redeem the act of motivating violence towards young people, Stark decided to hold an event to fund social support groups.

Y/n was used to having the eyes of the media, mainly because of her beauty, but Peter hated the media. As well as distorting many of Spider-Man's actions, calling him irresponsible and selfish, there would always be people who would point out the slightest of his mistakes in order to get 'likes'. The girl, on the other hand, had several controversies involving her name, but she never let that get to her. Her father had taught her to always ignore people who spoke badly and pointed out mistakes, because if they were strong enough, they would talk in person rather than hide behind a screen in a dark room with a deplorable life.

“Aren't you nervous?” Peter asks, finishing lacing up his black shoes.

“No. I just didn't want anyone coming up to me asking me about my sexuality again because I said in an interview that I'd kiss Madison Beer.” Y/n says, looking at herself in the mirror as she finishes fixing the pair of earrings on her ear.

“What if they ask me something? What do I say?” The brunette gets up from the cream recliner at the end of the king-size bed in his girlfriend's room, heading towards her.

“Just be yourself, love.” The girl turns to her boyfriend, who places his warm hands on her waist, pulling her close in one smooth movement. The girl opens an affectionate smile, allowing her pink lips to meet Peter's. “And don't get involved in any controversy. It's not enough that people suspect you of being Spider-Man. My father will kill you if anything happens, especially during the party.”

“You look beautiful, you know that?” The older man commented, looking at the girl from head to toe with a sideways smile. The dress was tailored, with long sleeves that were almost transparent and her body shaped by the wine velvet until it dragged on the floor with a small neckline, but one that emphasized her breasts.

“I know it.” Y/n laughs, making Peter roll his eyes and walk away.

Two knocks on the white door are heard, drawing the attention of the young couple who head towards where the sound was coming from, then open the door. The image of Pepper in a black dress comes into view, apparently impatient with how long they were taking in the room. The blonde put both hands on her waist, saying:

“Really? 10 minutes to put on an earring and get your bag, Y/n?”

“We're ready.” Peter defends. “Come on, sweetheart.” The dark-haired man in the black suit and gray tie holds out his hand to the younger woman.

“But my bag.” Y/n turns her body to the side, looking out of the corner of her eye for her bag, which had mysteriously disappeared.

“This one?” Peter holds out his other hand with the handle of the white bag positioned on the tip of his index finger, drawing a surprised smile from the girl.

“Come on, you two.” Pepper warns, stepping into the middle of the couple and closing the door behind them.

(…)

“How many minutes until we arrive?” Y/n asks the driver, at the same time as his eyes are focused on his cell phone camera so that his gloss doesn't get smudged in the photos that will be taken later.

“Less than 5” he replies, looking at her through the rearview mirror.

“Do you want me to go out holding your hand or do we go out one at a time?” The brunette asks, swinging his legs as a way of relieving the anxiety trapped in his chest.

“Relax, Pete. Let me go out alone first. I know some of my followers will want to take pictures with me since I told them I'd be at the event.” Y/n says, closing the transparent gloss and putting it in her handbag. “I don't want the same thing to happen that happened in January.”

“You turned down photos because you had a viral infection and put your organs out in the back of the car in that KFC bowl” Peter reminds her, placing one of his free hands on the girl's back.

“And they still called me an unsympathetic diva,” Y/n mentions, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes to catalyze the feeling of discontent after remembering the hate the media threw at her.

“We're here, Miss Stark,” the driver warns, opening the automatic door and showing the group of fans and paparazzi who were waiting for the couple at the entrance to the event.

Peter got out of the vehicle, being called by several people and blinded by the flashes of the paparazzi who insisted on putting their cameras in his face. The men with their caps back and big cameras asked

“Are you really Spider-Man?”

“Does Stark approve of your relationship even though you're poor?”

“Is it true that Stark Enterprises is related to the death of your parents?”

Peter clenches his jaw, takes a deep breath to himself, and walks past the men with his face closed as he hears these questions. Y/n, on the other hand, got out of the car with a smile on her face like a princess. The girl put her hair back and got out of the car without the protection of the security guards who were at the door of the event. The group of followers who were waiting at the railing to take a picture with the youngest girl held out their cell phones so that she could take a picture with them. Y/n waved to the fans who were a little further back, allowing them to be noticed too. The girl took the cell phones, snapped the photos and thanked them with a smile, and this was the key to the paparazzi taking advantage of the situation to punch her with questions and photos that were too close.

“Are you dating Peter Parker out of pity?” One of the men asks.

“I'm not,” she replies, as she takes pictures with the people clinging to the low railing.

Peter stands in the doorway, watching from afar how his girlfriend will react. Thanks to his powers, he could hear Y/n's heart and sense when she was threatening to have an anxiety attack. Her mouth might lie with a smile, but her eyes would never lie about her being. The brunette turned on his heel as soon as he heard the first question, turning back the way he had come.

“Do you regret realizing that what happened in Berlin wasn't deliberate? The damage was done by your father's group. People died.” Another says.

The group of photographers was getting too close.

“I have no regrets. That's why my father is promoting the event. To help those who are hurt.” She replies, finishing taking the last photo.

As soon as she lowers her head so that she can go to meet Peter, she is cornered. Several white lights take over her vision, and she finds herself dazed by so much movement. Her frightened eyes searched for Peter, but she couldn't find him. Everything around her was getting too hot from the sweaty bodies that were increasingly trying to get in touch with the girl in the red dress.

“Your father killed innocent people.”

“We already knew she'd be just like her selfish father. She's just a good girl in disguise.”

“Did you cheat on your boyfriend with actor Drew Starkey at your best friend's party in Los Angeles last month?”

“She looks like she'd do that.”

Peter stepped into the middle of the paparazzi, pushing them hard with the sides of his body, throwing his cameras to the ground every time he saw one of them being placed in his girlfriend's face. The older man seemed to have fire in his eyes, even capable of burning someone with his fury. The girl's heart was racing, and then a strong hand found her, pulling her close and taking away the whirlwind of questions and comments spewed at her. Her chest was heaving, feeling her lungs regain air, and pressing her hands against her chest. Peter hugged her close, running his hands down her back and directing her towards the door of the event decorated with gold, white and red balloons

“She always does that. Leaves when she can't answer something we ask. Classic spoiled bitch.” One of the men picks up his camera from the floor, wiping the lens on his gray blouse.

At one moment, Y/n was standing next to Peter, and the other she was being abandoned again at the door of the large party building. With strong, hurried steps, Peter spins his body around to throw a powerful punch at the man who made the comment, causing him to fall against the other gossip channels who were on duty at the scene to capture any slip-ups. The photographer grumbled, putting his hand to his lip and realizing that blood was coming out. With a startled look on his face, he glares at the brunette

“Call my girlfriend a bitch one more time, and I'll make you swallow your fucking tongue.” He says through his teeth, stepping out of the crowd again and into the building with hurried steps.

Y/n had her hands over her mouth, stunned by what Peter had just done. Her heels tapped against the lobby floor as her boyfriend patted her shoulder, trying to comfort her from what she had just been through. Parker was followed by two security guards, who, only after seeing the situation, decided to protect Y/n.

“You irresponsible bastards. Stark will find out about this.” Peter says loudly to the two men in black, who were now following them to the elevator.

“My father!” Y/n says in astonishment. “Peter, my father's going to find out about the punch you threw at the guy outside! Fuck, we're fucked. He's going to kill you. Shit.”

“Don't worry, darling. Anything to protect you is worthy.” The brunette pressed the elevator's ‘up’ button, hugging his girlfriend tighter against his chest.

[pearblossomrain]

personal summary of what might be the most unserious gp i have ever seen aka sao paulo 2024:

(almost needed a whole separate post just for qualis and side note, this sounds a bit like commentary bc i was actually making commentary when watching for my friend)

tldr for qualis; more red flags than an all boys' school, some controversial safety car periods, hamilton out q1, red bulls+sainz out q2, crazy top 5 of norris, russell, tsunoda, ocon and lawson in That Exact Order.

• before the race even STARTED, sainz was starting from the pit lane, albon didn't start the race due to damage from quali, verstappen had a 5 place grid penalty. when you think things are already crazy enough, lance stroll spins out on the formation lap which calls for a second formation lap, and then a third formation lap and aborted start due to lots of confusion (multiple drivers were noted 💀)

(will cut here to save space T-T)

• lights out and away we go....and so does the lead apparently bc russell almost immediately grabbed first from norris?? and he held onto that lead like my grandma holds a grudge; for what seemed like aeons. 😭

• verstappen, hamilton, colapinto and gasly were leaping up the ranks like nobody's business, literally blinked and i missed multiple overtakes from them.

• speaking of verstappen, he goes all the way up from p17 to p6 in like less than 15 laps and there was a super nerve wracking train of tsunoda, ocon, leclerc and verstappen that honestly stressed the hell out of me to watch for all those consecutive laps (i left to get an ice cream and when i came back, even the gaps between had barely changed at all)

• ferrari suddenly decides to pit leclerc incredibly early which i still cannot tell if it was a good idea or not because it started raining heavily and soon everyone except a few of the leading pack went into the pit after a virtual safety car period bc hulkenberg spun out (more on him later trust me), which puts us with a seemingly temporary top 3 of OCON, VERSTAPPEN AND GASLY??? in that order too! 🤡

• first red flag because colapinto collided really heavily into the barriers (man i feel bad for him, this is as close to a home race as it gets for him) and i swear nobody is having a worse day than the williams garage.....my genuine thoughts and prayers to that blue unserious team

• AN ACTUAL BLACK FLAG?!!??? to hulkenberg because apparently when he spun out he had marshals push his car back on track which isn't allowed (but i have to say, unless he made the marshals do it when they didn't want to, it's also a bit on them)....williams racing might have a competitor for most depressed garage after this 😭

• penalties!! so many penalties!! bearman picked up a couple of penalties for collisions and so did piastri which they keep until the end and i'm quite sure there were a couple more but i really could NOT keep up oops. (edit: one more thing! i do feel a little bad for piastri bc he had to sort of give a bit of way for norris at the end when they were stacked tgt only for them to not move up positions at all and with the 10s penalty idk how this will end up being.)

• this red flag period was so unbelievably long (i think all in all it was about 30 min?) that i had time to watch them all go into the pits and get out of their cars, then leave and do some laundry, grab a snack and a drink. 😭 and when i returned, 16 drivers had just requested a restart which in turn led the fia to call for a rolling start

• they finally went back to racing, and so many things happened relatively quickly; norris went wide and russell went past norris to p4, bearman got into the barriers but returns to bring up the rear (NOOO MY SON) and sainz crashed rather badly into the barriers and that was ANOTHER safety car period good god! (they said this is his second time in the barriers which, absolutely Foul, but unfortunately not wrong 😭)

• verstappen (who was honestly having a great day so far from p17 to p2) TOOK A PRETTY BIG LEAD which. oh my god we hadn't seen this in like 100 days or something 😭 and norris goes down to p7?? not sure what happened there tbh i was not looking closely oops again.

• there was a crazy back-and-forth battle going in the midfield bc both vcarbs are in front of perez who, in the commentators' words, "are both fighting for his seat" 💀 and hamilton was also chasing perez (and eventually got the last point) so there was just a lot of scrabbling for points i guess?

• also somewhere in there, i didn't keep track because of so many things happening, alonso spun out and ended up at the back of the pack (i also feel bad for him bc he mentioned back pain and bouncing at the end so sorry grandpa) and yet he did not finish dead last? afterwards he was dead set on finishing the race "for the mechanics", in his own words, which i see as an absolute class act in my opinion. hate him or love him, this makes me have huge respect for him.

• ALPINE. alpine oh my god i (and them. and EVERYONE HONESTLY???) can't believe they held onto a double podium all the way to the end wow i think nobody is happier than that garage and team rn like whole house GLADDD 😭 (p.s. my friend, not sure if she'd like to be tagged, said that the french flag and dutch flag at the podium ceremony were "like y-axis and x-axis" which had me losing it)

• honestly the only thing i am rather sad about is tsunoda finishing p8 after starting p3 but if we are being honest, parts of this race were due to circumstances and perhaps a little bit of additional luck but at least he is in the points and goodbye unlucky streak!! plus it's double vcarb points!

[side notes because this is as long as an entire speech; i did the maths and norris would have to be p1 and verstappen p8 in every single grand prix (not counting the sprint) to win by 1 point and if the maths works out that they're both tied in points, verstappen would still win because he has more grand prix wins even if norris wins all remaining 3 gps]

in conclusion, for a race i predicted would finish at 1:30am my time (it started at 11:30pm here) and hopefully i would get more 5 hours of sleep before work, i will be left with just over 3 hours of sleep now and yet i have ZERO REGRETS BECAUSE HOLY FCK THAT WAS A ROLLERCOASTER. absolutely nothing can top this race for me for the entire season and maybe even last season!!

definitely probably missed quite a few things but this is what i can remember off the top of my head or what was most memorable to me and it is 3am here so pls cut me some slack 🙏

[infiniteetcetera]

Potentially controversial statement here but I swear this is not an attack just a genuine question: why do people assume Lucien will genuinely want/be heartbroken by Elain???

A point I see so often attacking Elain/defending Elucien is that Lucien has “been through too much to be heartbroken again” and “deserves happiness” and “SJM loves his character and wouldn’t just take his mate away” but like…why do we equate mates with happiness and Lucien with liking Elain at all??

Obviously, Lucien is far more willing to try out the bond than Elain is. We know he’s attracted to her physically (but let’s be fr she’s obviously attracted to him too, our fox boy is hot) but beyond that there’s like…nothing to it?? They don’t talk, he doesn’t know her particularly well, the time they spend together is awkward, and Elains initial impression on a lot of people is being simple/boring (I am NOT saying Elain actually is these things, just that’s the vibe she gives off to people as other characters have noted).

I think Lucien is definitely curious about Elain, he grew up believing a mating bond was this big powerful perfect thing and thought he lost his mate ages ago. Elain doesn’t make sense as a mate to him, which seems to make him all the more curious about her. I think there’s also a lot of guilt tied up between them too, we know Lucien feels bad about what he did to Feyre and how he was involved with what happened to the sisters. We also know Lucien is a well bred polite courtier of a man. All these things together make it seem perfectly reasonable why Lucien still tries to speak to Elain, buy her gifts, acts how one would expect a male to act with his mate, is put off by her cold shoulder, etc but I genuinely don’t believe he has real feelings for her beyond the bond (yetttt) because…literally how could he???

Again this really isn’t me hating on Elain, she’s lovely but a pretty private/complex character as well and Lucien doesn’t know her. I’ve seen so many posts lately about how “Lucien would be so crushed to know what happened on Solstice” or “Elain has to grovel for liking Azriel because it’s wrong” or even just the insinuation (which silly goofy characters like Rhys make themselves) that Lucien is ready to blood duel and start throwing hands for Elain and again I just REALLY DONT SEE IT. I think he’s curious about the bond and willing to see the whole mess through but Lucien really has no reason to want Elain any more than she wants him. I know apparently the bonds “effect the males more” or whatever but if Cassian’s ridiculous “I’ll let Rhys threaten my mate any day” self has taught us anything it’s that it’s reallyyyyyy not that simple.

I don’t know I just feel like there’s this weird babying of Lucien’s character I’ve seen a lot in the fandom recently that completely misunderstands him. Like our boy was spitting 10/10 rizz in the first book and gets called hot by 90% of the characters, he is not some underdog here. Elain is not above him and he really doesn’t need her. The love triangle is really more a fandom thing than some actual competition between the characters. Even if Azriel wasn’t involved Elain would still act the same way toward Lucien and I honestly think if he really wanted her/ if they had a connection prior to being told they are mates he’d be handling the situation differently. For now, I think people are assuming he’s a lot more invested than he actually is.

Obviously this is a romance series and there will be drama involving the Elain/Lucien/Azriel love triangle in the next book because that’s been what’s laid out, but if Elain just turned around and said “sorry respectfully I want someone else let’s break this bond” I really don’t think Lucien would be “heartbroken” or “crushed” over it. Again, there’s this whole weird “mating bonds drive males crazy” thing up in the air but I’ve failed to see any real examples in the ACOTAR universe that show me these bonds are a good thing so I’ll believe it when I see it🤧

IDK, overall I know this series is about the sisters but I love Lucien’s character so much and really want to see more of him (and believe there’s a lot to unravel there) and people threatening to not read the rest of the series if next book is Elriel because “Lucien’s been through enough” just seems silly to me because I think his happy ending has nothing to do with Elain. It might involve Elain, yes, but Lucien also has a father, a mother, and a brother out there who are all decent people that would love him which he hasn’t gotten to explore yet. I’m also convinced this man could pull any male or female in Prythian if he wanted so I don’t think just because she’s framed as his big love interest now Elain is his only option.

I know a lot of people feel strongly about their side of the love triangle but I just really want to see all these characters happy and think a lot of people are overthinking it😭 I think SJM has equal probability of making Elucien a great 10/10 ship and ruining their potential and making them Nessian 2.0 so I’m much more concerned with these characters being written well and getting a real happy ending than who that ending is with. I also think ACOTAR has been very limited in scope thus far and Lucien is one of the few characters with the possibly to break out of that mold and get us out of the night court for a bit (yes this is me once again asking for a Lucien TOD book😔✨) . He could still 100% wind up with Elain, but I really just don’t imagine the love triangle/build up to that being as dramatic as people think. Lucien and Az are both decent respectful males and as long as neither oversteps I really just see it coming down to what Elain wants and whatever her choice is I think both characters will respect it and be able to move on perfectly fine.

[femmmie]

THE ISLAND

Chapter 3: Spork

Note: this is quite a standalone chapter 😁 so you could only read this one. Or read the entire fic on AO3.

Amanda and Trevor are on a mission to be the first to report a story about an eccentric artist.

Chapter word count: 2.137

Rating: general or teen (alcohol)

Amanda was in a hurry.

The only one who could keep up with her was Trevor. He was her bandana wearing photographer and just as tall as her.

“This could be a big scoop,” she said while walking determinately to her car.

“Isn’t that Giarratana lady the artist who made that huge controversial 9/11 memorial in LA and did a whole performance art thing with it, but she got the year wrong somehow?”

“Yes! She’s crazy. But she’s apparently a genius and we need to get there fast before anyone else is tipped off!”

“Where are we going?”

“Silver Lake dog park.”

“Alright, let’s go!” Trevor threw his gear in the trunk and sat down in the passenger’s seat of the 1995 Portaro, one of the last of its kind.

“I wish new cars were this low-tech,” Trevor mused while playing with the manual window crank.

Amanda sped along the 110.

“I know! I wish they were too! I mean, we’d boil alive without AC, I had to let that be built in. But for the rest, I prefer this old timer over any malfunctioning crap they make these days.”

“Yeah, like at least this one works. Mine doesn’t do shit. Oh well. At least I still have my cars in GTA.”

“In what?”

“Never mind.”

Amanda glanced sideways at Trevor with a smirk on her face.

“I’m just playing with you, I know GTA. I used to watch my sister play, she was a nightmare oh my god. She kept jumping out of a helicopter close to the water, just to see if she could do it without dying, only to die again and again. It was SOMETHING I tell ya. So yeah, I know my games, I am down with the youth and everything.”

Trevor lost it.

“Amanda, there isn’t anyone who is less down with the youth that I know of, than you. And I say this lovingly!”

“HEY! That’s just because you don’t tell me anything!”

They joked back and forth.

“And that’s because I know you won’t understand!”

“TRY ME!”

“Alright, alright, sheesh!” Trevor fondly looked at his colleague. Amanda was so full of enthusiasm, giving it her all every day. They might work at a silly outlet, but she always pursued stories that had a social or environmental impact. And her sharp questioning made the articles so much better. It made Trevor want to follow her anywhere. To the end of the world if need be. Of course, the end of the world wasn’t far off anyway.

“I swear Amanda, we HAVE to play GTA together sometime.”

“Okay! We will!”

“It’s pretty much a Millennial game anyway.”

“Oh shit, I have to take a left here…”

Amanda drove them all the way to a parking lot which faced the entrance of the park. A couple of ancient proud pine trees encircled it.

“Okay, grab your stuff! I think I see something going on already.”

As Amanda and Trevor walked into the park, there was a small group of people standing huddled together. They approached in tall strides.

“Hi! We’re from People.com. Wow, you all look so nice, what an iconic shirt you have! But yeah, we are looking for Angela Giarratana. Do you know where she is?” Amanda asked the group.

“Hii, welcome! Awesome that you’ve come! But she’s already on the lake,” said the guy with the iconic shirt. He had curly, bleached hair, ripped jeans and retro Vans.

“Shit! Trevor, come on, we gotta go!”

“Yes ma’am!”

They reached the lake in no time. It was a nice park, a bit provincial and uninspired maybe, but the lake provided the trees, shrubs and plants with enough water to hold on and create an oasis in the middle of the city.

“ANGELA??”

They spotted a flounder in the middle of the lake, apparently with Angela on it. She was busy doing something, Amanda and Trevor couldn’t make out what.

“HI! YOU CAN USE THAT BOAT OVER THERE!”

Angela gestured to a bowrider a couple of yards away. They scuttled towards it.

“You can leave your stuff, Trev, nobody is gonna steal it and you won’t need it on the lake.”

“I guess...”

Trevor looked unsure. But he put his gear down, took his camera and held Amanda’s hand, helping her step onto the boat.

“Thanks. Oooh this is so wobbly…”

Trevor climbed in too and tried to start the motor. It was dead.

Amanda panicked. “Shit shit SHIT! What if the whole thing’s already up and we’re still here!”

“I saw some oars lying around on the shore. Shall I get them?”

Amanda blinked. “Yes. Yes, of course, that’s genius. Trevor, what would I do without you?” She spontaneously kissed him on the cheek.

Smiling abashedly, Trevor rowed them towards Angela’s boat.

“Hi! You guys are right on time!”

A woman with a wild bob-cut, big eyes and an even bigger smile stood up and bowed over to shake their hands above the water.

“I’m Amanda and this is Trevor,” Amanda matched Angela’s smile. “Thank you so much for letting People.com know of this amazing new project you’re revealing today.”

“Oh! Any time! You know, I just want people to hear my message. And you have a lot of readers. So, see this?” Angela gestured to some kind of contraption next to her on the flounder. “This thingy- this motor, will inflate my doggy. I just checked everything. We’re ready to go.”

“Okay alright! Wait! Trevor, do you have a good shot?”

“Maybe we should back up a little?”

“Probably a good idea!” Angela confirmed. “It’s a big girl!”

“I love big girls,” Trevor joked.

Amanda widened her eyes in fake-shock.

Trevor paddled them a bit backwards. When they were in position, Amanda got out her phone.

“I’m also going to live-stream it to our website!”

“Great idea!” Angela shouted from her boat. She started the motor. Trevor had his camera ready.

Angela was shouting even louder now. She had to, because the motor was roaring with an angry fervor. A small crowd had gathered on the shore of the lake.

“OKAY! HERE WE GO! WELCOME EVERYONE! THIS IS ABOUT LIFE! ABOUT FRIENDSHIP! ABOUT LOVE AND LOYALTY! IF WE FIND LOVE, THAT’S GREAT AND RARE! MOST PEOPLE, HOWEVER, NEVER FIND IT! BUT JUST LOOK AROUND AND PET YOUR NEAREST DOG! YOU’LL SEE THEY ARE THE FULL PACKAGE! THEY TEACH US ABOUT HUMANITY EVERY DAY….”

Something stirred in the lake. Slowly, a shape emerged from the water.

“WE ALL KNOW THAT PETS HAVE IT HARD THESE DAYS AND DOGS CAN ONLY GO OUTSIDE IN THE NIGHT AND THE MORNING. SO, TO HONOR MAN’S GREATEST COMPANION, I PRESENT TO YOU: SPORK!”

The shape turned into a giant dog. It wasn’t exactly realistic, but it certainly was an artistic impression of a dog.

“This is incredible,” Amanda said, looking at the hovering canine. She got a bit teary-eyed. She filmed for a couple more moments and then ended the stream.

“Why is it called Spork?” Trevor asked.

“MY DOG IS CALLED SPORK, I NAMED THIS AFTER HIM.”

“Awww,” Amanda wiped her tears, but more were flowing down. “That’s so precious.”

“COULD YOU GIVE ME A LIFT BACK?”

“Yes, sure, hop in!”

Amanda helped Angela into their boat and Trevor got them back to shore safely. The crowd applauded.

“How long will Spork stay here?” Amanda asked Angela when they stood firmly back on land.

“I hope for at least a year. I got a license for that period.” Angela’s voice was a little raspy from all the shouting.

“You kept everything secret for a long time. Why?”

“Well, you know, there’s always people who try and tell our stories for us. I want to do it with my voice, when I think the time is right.”

“I loved your speech. There’s hardly anything more human than to love a pet, isn’t there?”

“Yeah… Angela looked over Amanda’s shoulder. Amanda turned around.

“There he is!”

The guy Amanda talked to earlier came, carrying a small doggy.

“Oh my god, he’s so cute!” Amanda exclaimed. “Can we take a picture of you and Spork, and big Spork?”

“Of course!” Angela posed and Trevor took a couple of shots.

“You can stay here with us if you want, we’re going to have a picnic.”

Amanda and Trevor looked at each other.

“Yeah, sure, why not!” Trevor answered.

They all sat down on the grass, looking at mega-Spork floating in the warm but gentle evening breeze.

“Angela, have you checked that she’s secured, in case of extreme weather?”

“Of course, we’ve taken all appropriate safety measures and gotten the license from the city.”

“I had to ask, I’ll add it to the piece,” Amanda was already typing on her phone.

“You write your articles with your thumbs?” Angela asked, tilting her head and frowning, bemused.

“Honestly, it’s what works fastest for me,” Amanda answered without looking up. “There, I’m finished. Trevor, did you upload the pictures?”

“Of course.”

“Okay… and here we go! Published! Haha, we did it again!”

Amanda and Trevor high-fived.

Angela looked at them excitedly. “That’s amazing!” She said. “You’re so fast, oh my god!”

“The business of getting scoops is cut-throat,” Amanda explained.

“I bet!”

“And I can always add to it, if new stuff comes up. Speaking of…”

A woman in a pink pantsuit and a guy holding her umbrella walked up to the group of people.

“Very good, very impressive,” she said. Her long hair waived in the gentle breeze.

Angela quickly got up and shook the woman’s hand. “Thank you, mayor Catanese!”

Trevor took more pictures.

“I think this piece of art will inspire the people around Silver Lake to treat their pets and each other kindly and help each other out in these trying times.”

“I hope it will.”

The mayor posed for a couple more pictures, shook some hands and then left.

Angela sat down again.

“Politicians always want to be part of other people’s hard work, don’t they,” Trevor joked.

“I mean of course they do, that’s their job basically,” Angela answered. “But it does give me even more publicity.”

“You’re right, I’ve added the mayoral visit to the story just now.” Amanda winked. Angela blushed.

“And according to the statistics, this really bumped up the numbers,” Trevor added.

“You guys. You’re a great duo,” Angela said.

“We do work great together! Did you know we were wannabe actors at first?”

“Isn’t everyone in LA?”

“True. But yeah, I worked with the Groundlings, that was fun. And after I got this job, I randomly met Trevor at a restaurant, and we started talking. He also wanted to be an actor. But he became a chef instead.”

“Yeah, and that was nice for a while, but I just really love cameras and editing… Amanda really came through for me and landed me this photographer spot!”

Amanda smiled and rubbed Trevor’s arm fondly.

“He’s the best!”

Angela was beaming. “Wow, that’s so awesome! Did you know I also perform at our improv theater downtown?”

As it was getting a little cooler, the energy in the park got more and more excited.

“You do? Well, we’d love to come watch your show sometime!”

“You should join me! We could do a little something together maybe?”

“Yeah!”

“Hello again!” The guy with the curls sat down next to them and handed them a bottle of wine. “Let’s celebrate, right?”

“Yes! Today was a good day.” Angela leaned back and took a deep breath.

“This is Chanse by the way, he’s also an artist AND an improv actor.”

“Nice to meet you, Chanse!”

“Nice to meet you too, oh my god! Do you cuties want some cheese or nuts or something?”

“It’s like you read my mind!” Amanda exclaimed.

“I got you,” Chanse winked.

They had a great time at the picnic, and it was getting darker.

More people came into the park, finally daring to get out of their air-conditioned homes. They largely seemed to love the brand-new piece of art gracing their neighborhood.

“Wow, no way!” Amanda noticed that giant Spork had glow in the dark lines on it, spelling the word ‘friendship’.

Trevor took some extra pictures.

“Today was a good day indeed,” Amanda sighed as she laid her head on Trevor’s shoulder. She was drunk.

“Come on, I’ll drive you home,” he said softly. He helped Amanda up. She heavily leaned on him.

“Thank you two again for coming and for writing the article and taking pictures!” Angela also stood up. Amanda launched a big hug on Angela.

“Anytime, love!”

“Alright, alright, time to go.” Trevor ushered Amanda back to the car. It was her turn to sit in the passenger seat.

“I don’t want to go home yet…” Amanda mumbled. A moment later she was fast asleep.

[tenebriskukris]

Oshi No Ko Chapter 155 - My Thoughts/Analysis

I never thought that this series would disappoint me more than it did with Chapter 152 but apparently the manga is just shoveling us utter dogshit on our plates now and expects the readers to think it’s the best thing since sliced bread. Let’s just get on with it. Spoilers for Oshi No Ko Chapter 155 below.

And so we open this chapter with Ruby’s POV. Finally we get to see her thoughts on this whole mess. And with double black star eyes too? Considering we see her have white star eyes a few chapters ago I’m Assuming that there isn’t much of a timeskip between the movie being shown to select people and this interview but the manga’s use of timeskips without a clear timeline being placed is just yuck. 

This entire issue wouldn’t be relevant in the first place if the manga didn’t sidestep showing the readers key reveals when they happened chronologically in the first place. Or already have a tendency to have these conversations and key reveals offscreen of all things. 

I’m going to do what I can for Ai. Like jump off a building? I wouldn’t be surprised if that man does something like that after he’s had this worldview shattered into dust. Or does something hasty like go on a murder spree. The worst kind of person to deal with is one that has nothing left to lose—they’re unpredictable. 

Aqua letting him go here is just a huge fucking mistake. He pulled the strings to kill Ai, after all. What’s to say that these events wouldn’t lead him to kill anyone else. Ruby, himself, Literally Anyone Else. It’s plausible that he could lash out at people and cause a whole mess. If someone from the movie dies while it’s being pushed out then it’s going to cause more than enough controversy to get the movie pulled from theaters. Who would want to screen the movie if one of the actors died because of it??? It would be a nightmare of legal issues. 

Your revenge is over now. Interesting. So Aqua’s given up on revenge? Or does he have something more planned? Another case of the series telling us these things without actually showing the progression of events happening to these characters and expecting the readers to just be okay with these logical leaps happening. It’s a trick that’s only useful if a writer doesn’t overuse it, but the way this series is using it as a crutch is just disgraceful. 

Incredible. No decompression. No conversation between the twins about what they just experienced. Just a timeskip back to Miyako. If they don’t talk about what just happened in this chapter I swear to all the gods and deities above—

Well that was a cute interaction between Miyako, Aqua and Ruby. It is also a cheap way to tug at the reader’s heartstrings. This entire scene would hit harder if we actually managed to see Miyako in this pseudo-maternal role more but as it stands now it is nothing more than a toothless attempt to insert her into this arc as a pseudo-mother to the twins. This “newfound” understanding of Aqua’s character for her is also similarly one which has little substance behind it were it not a callback to the earlier chapters of the series. It’s a sad scene, don’t get me wrong, but it’s all style and little substance when one considers that Miyako’s paternal role has been rather lacking throughout the series.

And now we’re back with Ichigo. Wonder if we’ll ever see his interview come up—because that’s still up in the air, apparently. Same with the other interviews, but at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if they were all done offscreen like so many other important bits of the narrative.

Ruby made a choice. And telling Aqua that she’d encountered her father was just done offscreen again. Incredible. Absolutely incredible. Of course. Just offscreen the conversation that Ruby talks to Aqua about forgiving Hikaru—surely something like that isn’t relevant to Ruby’s character arc in the slightest. 

Not the mention that with Ruby’s black star eyes blazing in the start of the chapter—did she really forgive Hikaru or that just Aqua assuming she did? Oh! We don’t know because their entire conversation about Hikaru was offscreened in the first place. At least we know that Ruby knew who Hikaru was this whole time—which was a fact that was very obvious in the first place. 

With Ichigo not wanting to kill Hikaru anymore that’s more or less everyone’s revenge scheme more or less wrapped up. I highly doubt we’ll be getting any more insight on how they made these decisions in the past because it seems like this series is dispensing in quality and good narrative structure in exchange for rushing towards the ending as quickly as possible. I’ll be more than happy to eat my words later down the line if the series is going to give these characters and this story the time it needs to shine but I won’t hold my breath.

Finally we get an Akane appearance. I was starting to think she was killed offscreen. Would not surprise me in the slightest at this point. She got a new haircut!!! Very cute.

If Hikaru is the one behind everything, then some things don’t make sense. Of fucking course! Aqua and Akane both independently figure out that Hikaru and Niino were responsible for Yura—and a bunch more people’s—death! And this realization was also done offscreen again!

And then there’s another thing. I recall somewhere during the Mainstay arc that Aqua said that he knew Goro Amamiya but with Akane reading the script she would easily be able to tell that that was false because Goro died before Aqua was even born. For someone as observant and smart as Akane was she surely would be able to put two and two together and call Aqua out for his bullshit but noooooooooo. We’re just going to pretend that never happened, then. 

What a complete and utter travesty. So the narrative is now pointing at Niino as the final antagonist of the series. A side character who a good chunk of people didn’t even know existed and was first seen in some side material  until she showed up close to the end of the arc. After Hikaru was unceremoniously thrown out of that role without the sufficient narrative payoff after all the buildup. 

I think I have to make an amendment to what I said before on one of my previous chapter reviews. The quality of writing that we’re seeing here isn’t of a college level writing student. That would be giving the writers the credit that they don’t deserve. No, I’ve seen high school level students draft me a more coherent narrative than whatever the fuck was going on in these last few chapters. Amazing.

The editors of this manga must surely be hungover drunk in their seats or held at gunpoint if garbage like this is allowed to get published. Then again, any reader swallowing this slop uncritically deserves media that crashes and burns when it gets to the finish line. The main writer of the series already has a tendency to screw up the final arcs of his manga series so I’m flabbergasted that no one took a step back and bapped these chapters on the head because of how low quality they were. But I digress. 

Ruby changing her black star eyes directly into white star eyes in this chapter is just—why. Every time we see one of the twins change from black to white to black star eyes and back again it was because of some event that touched their life. Now it’s just—they do it whenever, I guess. Whenever the plot demands it with little to no repercussions.

Having Niino as the final antagonist is also incredibly yucky. This isn't a hashtag GirlBoss moment with her being responsible for Ai’s death. Her being the final obstacle for this series to overcome is some horrible social commentary and reeks of misogyny. The final antagonist of the series isn’t a product of the horrible system—some high ranking industry official who was also scarred by the industry and is now in a higher place to also exploit people in the same industry—ala Hikaru. No, the final antagonist is someone who was on the same level as Ai—even lower, really—who had a hand in her death and wants to keep people from reaching the same level as her.

That’s not even getting to the fact that having her as what is essentially the final boss of the series has to be one of the stupidest writing decisions I’ve ever seen in media—about as idiotic as having Kaguya from Naruto appear at the end of that mess of a series. If you told an Oshi No Ko fan when they started the series that the final antagonist of the series would be this random side character that was first shown in a short story they would laugh because of how stupid that twist would be—and yet it fucking happened!

On a slightly more serious note, Nino as the main antagonist fails so supremely for a variety of decisions. The first is buildup. The narrative has been pointing towards Hikaru for the majority of the series and now we’re pivoting to what is essentially a side character taking his place with little to no buildup. The stuff we got from the movie arc is so minor compared to how the narrative was building up towards Hikaru throughout the entirety of the series that pushing her to the main villain role is just cheap at this point.

The second is character. Or rather, her lack thereof. Nino is more of a plot device than a character from what we’ve seen of her already. Her motivation is to keep people from surpassing Ai and—what? That’s basically it. She’s a one note character without anything interesting going on behind those eyeballs with absolutely nothing else to say. At least Hikaru had some backstory and motivation shown—even if it was done in a completely haphazard way.

Let’s examine that point further, shall we? Both in the side story and from what we see in the small bits of her in the manga paint the picture of a woman who was incensed that Ai was more popular than her and now she wants to keep anyone else from rising higher than Ai ever did as we see with her words to Ruby. It’s obvious that she’s going to make some move on Ruby during Kana’s graduation concert or around that time so that’ll be her 

And then there’s her absolute dogshit motivation. Nino had a hand in killing Ai because Ai was more popular than her? I’m sorry, that is a literal skill issue. At the end of the day, the idol industry is still an industry. Those who have more potential or skill than another will obviously be more favored and reach higher. It’s not a slice of the dark side of the idol industry, it’s simple fucking causality. 

It’s the equivalent of an average student in high school that helps a group of students murder the smartest student in school and the only reason she helps them is that the smartest student is better than her academically so she has to die. That’s basically the gist of Nino’s reasons for wanting Ai’s death. It’s petty. It’s entitled. It's downright idiotic. I would even say it was character assassination were it not for the fact that she barely had any character in the first place. 

The third point is what Nino represents as the final antagonist of the series. I spoke before about how having her as the final boss is an incredibly tone-deaf narrative decision for a series that delves into the darkest parts of the industry. The narrative before these couple of chapters was pointing at Hikaru being the main and final antagonist of the series. This high up industry official who was also taken advantage of by the worst of the industry lashed out at Ai after she broke up with him and whose children find revenge on him by telling him that Ai loved him all along. It doesn’t absolve Hikaru’s sins and his hand in killing Ai but sidesteps the issue in favor of casting blame towards his circumstances caused by the industry. The concept sings, fits with the darker side of the industry the manga has been trying to grasp, and tries to wrap up everything in a neat little bow.

Nino has none of that backing. Ai’s last attempts at reconciliation with Nino were unceremoniously denied by her in her short story and she does not grow as a character because of it. She is not built up as a character who was sufficiently ruined by the industry the way Hikaru was or has the justification for her misdeeds. No, the true and final antagonist of the series is a woman who was jealous of Ai for upstaging her and because of that she helped orchestrate her death. This concept does not sing. It does not say anything substantial about the industry so far and does cohere in a way that justifies her being the final obstacle of the series. It’s a bad piece of social commentary and undercuts so much of what the series has been leaning towards for over a hundred and fifty chapters. The real villain of the series isn’t the industry itself, it’s the ones around you who are jealous of your success! Utter dogshit writing.

I can almost hear the complaints now. Niino showed up in the short story! She has tons of character depth there! Here’s a hard truth to swallow: It doesn’t matter. If you have to look at what is essentially supplemental media that not every reader will have read to get the gist of a character as important as the final antagonist of the series then you’ve failed in setting said character up to take the reins of the title of final antagonist. It’s like if you were watching a movie in a theater and this one character shows up during the last ten minutes as the real antagonist with little to no foreshadowing and she has an entire backstory and character that was shown in some supplemental material online that a good 90 percent of people haven’t even seen. That would lead to a box office bomb if I’ve ever seen one. You’d get thrown out of a Hollywood scriptwriter’s room for even proposing something like that! 

In any case, I’m very glad that the reactions of people online are finally turning on the writers for serving the readers this shitshow. With how people were talking about how the last two chapters were so good of all things I was quite surprised that there were still people around swallowing this shitshow on a plate uncritically because it’s more than obvious to my eyes that the manga is already spiraling downwards in terms of quality during these last few chapters.

It’s a shame, really. I wouldn’t still be doing these chapter reviews if I wasn’t invested in the series in the first place. Before the movie arc’s horrible pacing issues and the massive number of timeskips with these recent chapters I still held out hope that the series would give us a satisfying conclusion. Now I wouldn’t even be surprised if the next chapter just timeskipped us again to the graduation concert without dwelling on Nino as a final boss.

[vro0m]

vro0m's rewatch - 173/332

2016 Monaco GP

(Buckle up there’s a lot of gifs in this one)

Well now that Spain made me lose my mind it's only fair for the follow-up to be the dullest race on the calendar. Oh wait actually maybe not? 

It's wet. They're talking of changeable conditions. Also weirdly, it's Ricciardo on pole. Huh. I can only hope this race surprises me. Interestingly, Max crashed in Q1 so he's starting for the pitlane while Daniel is starting from pole. I'm gonna be interested in that dynamic. 

The Mercs have fuel pressure issues if I understand right? Of course we're gonna have a segment on them after what happened in the last race. We see images from Monaco 2014, the controversial quali mistake from Nico. "We're not friends." Lewis leaning on his shoulder and Nico getting away from him. The Belgium 2014 crash. Merc's 2014 title win. Lewis' 2014 title win. China 2015, when Nico thought Lewis backed him into Seb during the race. Monaco 2015, when the team lost Lewis' the race. Merc's 2015 title win. Lewis' 2015 title win. The cap throw. And of course their last crash. 

Johnny interviews Lewis on the truck. He claims Lewis has been grumpy in the past few days. Lewis is surprised, or he feigns to be. He asks how he's been grumpy. Johnny says there's been people saying he doesn't look happy. Johnny hypothesises that it might be frustration because he wanted to be on the front row and it didn't work out. "Okay," Lewis says, half amused. Johnny says that's him still being grumpy with him. Which is insane. Lewis interrupts him. He says he's in a great mood, he's in Monaco, where he lives, and he gets to drive. As he waves to the crowd he points to children from the starlight foundation for hospitalised children. He says to Johnny not to listen to all the noise, "that's the problem with people, they just listen to what other people say." Johnny says in 2008 Lewis won from starting 3rd on the grid, where he's starting that day. Lewis says he got lucky that one time but he'll do what he can and get points.

The journalists are talking team orders now. Apparently Lewis hinted that they might have to rely on that if Nico and himself came together again. Brundle says of course if it turns out the Ferraris or the RedBulls become a threat for the title the team is gonna have to make decisions. 

On the truck Seb says he thinks they have a good car but we also hear him say it got worse and swearing during quali so. Yeah. Not too sure about that. 

Mmh and there's a problem with Max's car. They are hammering something on or off the car. Not good. 

I'm gonna skip Brundle's grid walk because it's never as annoying as in Monaco. 

The grid : Ricciardo, Nico, Lewis, Seb, Hulkenberg, Sainz, Perez, Kvyat, Alonso and Valtteri. 

And it's a safety car start!

It's just that wet. They're all on full wets then of course. Kvyat says his Toro Rosso is stuck on constant speed. He drops down the field even under safety car. He's back in the pits and a lap down. But he goes again. But then he says it still doesn't work. Over radio, Magnussen claims it's time they go racing, the track is ready. Lewis is also calling it. Okay! Safety car in at the end of lap 7. Kvyat is not allowed to unlap himself though which is stupid. 

Here we go! Ricciardo gets away and Lewis is close to Nico. Magnussen pits for inters! Crazy! Meanwhile Lewis almost put it in the wall in the hairpin AND A CAR HAS CRASHED?! Wait, is it on the other side of the wall…? I'm confused. It's Palmer. VSC. What happened? He's out and OK btw. The car is already hooked to the crane and lifted up, the two front wheels hanging pathetically under the car like a warm ball sack. Ohhh okay. Weird. So on the restart we see him coming down the hill with the two wheels already broken. He's just sliding down like it's on skis until it gets into the run off area and bumps against the barriers. Yeah he hit other barriers earlier. A lot of the midfield cars are getting on the inters. 

On lap 10, they go again, AGAIN. And still Ricciardo is ahead while Lewis is sticking to Nico's back. He's looking to overtake for sure. But well. It's Monaco. Jenson sets the fastest lap on inters! Yellow flags… It's Grosjean and Raikkonen into the barriers with minimal to no damage it seems. Ah nevermind Raikkonen just lost his front wing, it's stuck under his car. He's trying to get back to the pit anyway but at the exit of the tunnel it seems impossible and he retires in a run-off area. On the replay we see Raikkonen crashed by himself, then as he went again Massa ran into his back and as he went off into the barriers, Grosjean found himself stuck behind him. Seb pits for inters. More and more of them on inters. What is Merc doing. OH AND WE DIDN'T SEE IT HAPPEN BUT LEWIS IS AHEAD! He has 13 seconds to make up for to catch Daniel though. Oh ho it seems to have been team orders… I mean he immediately put 4 seconds between him and Nico so it's clearly the right call but it’s icky. Seb got ahead of Massa by cutting the chicane unintentionally so he gives the place back. Shortly after Hulkenberg almost collides with his rear in the hairpin. Lewis sets the fastest lap of the race. Still 13 seconds to Ricciardo but Nico lost 2 more seconds on him. 

On lap 20, Lewis is 12.7 seconds behind, then it's Nico, Sainz getting close to him, Perez not far behind, a big gap to Massa, followed by Seb, Hulkenberg, Alonso and Gutierrez still further down. The Merc mechanics are ready with inter tyres. But Lewis doesn't come in, so it'll be Nico. Yep. Out in P5. Massa pits as well. And that's two cars into the barriers! Kvyat and Magnussen, who almost backed away into another car. And Verstappen sets the fastest lap on inters now. Lewis needs to pit. Him and Daniel are the last ones on wets… And Ricciardo pits! And Lewis hasn't pitted?! WHY?! It's stupid af. Now Ricciardo is gaining so fast on him, setting fastest lap after fastest lap, while Ted reports the track is "bone dry". Daniel is less than 0.2 behind him… They think he's trying to go straight to the slicks. 

It's lap 30. Lewis, Daniel +0.7, Nico 26 seconds further down, Perez, Seb, Hulkenberg, Sainz, Alonso, Gutierrez, and Max, who started from the pitlane, is in the points. And Ericsson is the first one to get on the slicks. Perez follows. Then Jenson, Magnussen… Lewis is struggling. HE PITS. Ultrasofts! Do they think he can go to the end on these?! It's 46 laps!!! Everyone is pitting. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. NO FUCKING WAY. Ricciardo came in for the slicks but they weren't ready! The tyres weren't out! What a mistake! He's sitting there… It's a 13.6 stop! Unbelievable! Just as he gets in the pit exit, Lewis flies by at full speed! They are wheel to wheel after the chicane but Lewis gets away fast and he keeps the lead! Is he finally, FINALLY, gonna win his second Monaco GP?! Well there's still half a race to go, and Daniel isn't giving up! He's catching on Lewis! He attacks out of the tunnel, but Lewis defends. It's close, damn. I'm gonna be so stressed out. And he's caught in backmarkers… Seb sets the fastest lap. OH AND MAX IS IN THE BARRIERS! Virtual safety car. Meanwhile Nico is in P6. He's been held up during his pitstop to avoid an unsafe release and he lost a place to Seb. They go again and Daniel tries a move before the tunnel but almost loses it. Then he tries in the tunnel. Lewis cut the chicane! They're wheel to wheel! But again, it's Monaco. On his on-board we see him waving his hands furiously. It's true Lewis defended aggressively. Especially given he'd just made a mistake. Radio : "wtf was that?" Daniel asks. 

Lap 40. Lewis, Daniel +1.380. Perez, Seb, Alonso, Rosberg, Hulkenberg, Sainz, Jenson, Gutierrez. The incident between Lewis and Daniel is under investigation. Ricciardo is losing time slightly. Interestingly, the commentators point out, Perez and Seb are on the softs, not the ultrasofts like Lewis, not the supersofts like Ricciardo. It's pretty clear they can go to the end on these when we're unsure about the ultrasofts. Lewis sets the fastest lap. Ricciardo is gaining again. He's under a second away again. But Lewis responds. No further action for their previous scuffle. Lewis sets the fastest lap again. But Daniel responds! But behind them drivers are picking up the pace as well… Specifically Perez in P3 is faster than them both at this point. 

It's lap 50. Perez sets the fastest lap. Lewis, Ricciardo +0.8, Perez +8.9, Seb +2.3, then Alonso is 30 seconds down, followed by Nico, Hulkenberg, Sainz, Jenson and Massa. And the two Saubers, that we just heard fighting over the radio about team orders, collided! They go again. VSC. One of them pits. VSC ending. Ricciardo is so close… Nasr's Sauber is back in the pits. Ricciardo attacks out of the tunnel again! But Lewis defends again! A few corners later, Daniel locks up. He loses time a bit. We breathe. Lewis sets the fastest lap. Nasr is out of the race. There's a train behind Alonso btw. Nico is still stuck half a second behind Alonso and must be getting as frustrated as Ricciardo. Ericsson, the second Sauber, also retires. Seb sets the fastest lap. 20 laps to go. Even when it's somewhat interesting this race is too long. Daniel picks up the pace but locks up again. 

Lap 60. Lewis, Ricciardo +0.9, Perez +9.1, Seb +2.7, Alonso, Nico, Hulkenberg, Sainz, Jenson, Massa. Ohhh on a replay we see Nico overtook Alonso but then cut the chicane so he gave the place back. There may or may not be rain right at the end of the race… Seb sets the fastest lap again. Ohhh he made a mistake… He lost 2 seconds to Perez because of a lock up. 10 laps to go. Ted says he asked the pirelli guy if Lewis can go to the end on these tyres and the man answered idk I didn't expect them to make it this far so. Yeah. Reassuring. VSC : something has flown on the track apparently from one of the balconies above. It's over really quickly.

Lap 70. Daniel is 2 seconds behind and Perez and Vettel lost out with the VSC, they've fallen back a bit. Alonso, Nico, Hulkenberg, Sainz, Jenson, Massa. Of course it hasn't changed. Alonso reports some raindrops on his visor. Lewis is starting to lap the top 10! He's not under pressure from Daniel either. He's really gonna win Monaco again. 5 laps to go. Holding my breath. He's gonna be so happy about this. Seb is just one second away from the podium… That would be nice… Come on baby. 4 laps to go. Seb is 0.7 seconds away. 3 laps to go. Seb lost a bit of time. 2 laps to go. It's starting to rain, Sainz says. It's too late for it to make a difference, surely. Final lap! 

It's the end of the race! 

LEWIS WINS IN MONACO! And that's his first win in 2016 as well, damn. Somehow Hulkenberg ultimately finished ahead of Nico. He takes his time around the track, Lewis. Crowd pleaser. 

He is so happy he's basically crowd surfing his crew. He receives congratulations from Justin Bieber and it's extremely cringe. He sets down his stuff, puts the cap on and then hugs his crew AGAIN. Goes back to chat with Bieber. Shakes Perez’ hand. Daniel is unhappy. Understandably. Face closed, shaking his head. Lewis gets his trophy. Throws it HIGH!

When Daniel gets his trophy Lewis also shakes his hand, tells him a word or two. Anthem time.

They pose for the photo. 

Lewis gives the champagne to Bieber to taste then generously drowns the mechanics. Ricciardo is not taking part. Checo is hugging his guys. Lewis crouches on his step instead of coming down to talk to Brundle.

He thanks everyone and says he's at a loss for words, he prayed for a time like this and it came.

The stint length was crazy and it was close. He congratulated Daniel for how well he drove all weekend, he calls him one of the best drivers he raced against. He says he's looking forward to many more battles. He knows he's unhappy because it's always disappointing to start one pole and finish second but he should be proud of how well he drove. 

While Ricciardo's interview starts, Perez and Lewis clinks bottles behind his head. The "tink" of the glass is heard loud and clear. 

When they get back to Lewis, Brundle reminds him of the gap in the championship : 26 points. "Game on," he says. Lewis chuckles with a hollow voice.

He says he hasn't even thought about that yet. He says he forgot to congratulate Sergio, who did an amazing job to come up from where he was. He says of course they're still in the battle, there's a long long way to go. "Just when you feel it couldn't get any worse it gets better." You can't ever give up. 

Apparently Horner refuses to give an interview. Toto is beaming though. He still says he's sorry about the RBR boys mishap because you never want this to happen to anybody. I mean. Sure Toto. He says they had issues with brake temperatures on both cars that caused problems every restart but Nico suffered more from it than Lewis. He also confirms Nico letting Lewis ahead was a team order. Simon says the gap is 24, not 26. He's confident for Montréal, but the others are catching up to them for sure. 

Nico says the decision to let Lewis ahead was pretty straight forward. He doesn't make a big deal out of it. It was clear he was off the pace while Lewis still had a chance to win. From the team's point of view it's simple. 

Lewis is asked how this win ranks in his career. He chuckles. It feels like the best race ever but he's had a lot of races and can't remember all of them.

He says this one he feels in his heart he earned. It didn't feel like a stroke of luck, he did the most. He chuckles again. He used every skill he had to stay ahead of Daniel, OH RIGHT. IT'S HIS 44TH WIN. IN MONACO. Ohhh symbols, symbols. He says it feels like a long time he hasn't won. About the call to stay out when everybody was putting for inters he says the mixed conditions are generally his favourite, although he wasn't the fastest in these conditions today, Daniel was, because they had more downforce this weekend. He says he decided to stay out. (Earlier Toto said the pit wall had a whole conversation about it and it was a team decision, Lewis being part of the team.) He says he was told to box and he said no because if he did he'd have to do it again 10-15 laps later given how fast the track was drying.

He says when he came out though it was like driving on ice. He's eager to get back to them and have a drink and enjoy.

The journalist says he said earlier in the weekend the ultrasofts weren't soft enough for him but now they're probably good enough? He says he's glad… He breathes out with this look of wonder he has when he's excited.

He says he had a long way to go on these tyres. The crazy thing is you don't know how long these tyres can go but there's a number of things you can do in the car to try to make them last longer. Daniel was picking up the pace and he was trying to speed up and slow down and "just tryna keep them sweet" but you never know when they'll drop off the cliff. It felt like it went on forever. He says it's a short lap here but 47 laps is a lot. Oh my god. He crosses his hands on his heart, raises his shoulders. "I'm grateful to got them…" He shakes his fist slightly, he's a child. "So happy!" 

And then it's time for the final interview while Lewis is trying to walk through the paddock. For some reason he pushes Johnny away, "Hey get out of here man!" Johnny laughs.

"Good seeing you smile buddy," he says.

I guess Lewis was a bit grumpy after that pre race interview after all. Lewis says he doesn't know how the race looked but it felt incredible. "one of the hardest races." The rain is so tricky and Monaco is horrible in the rain. Johnny says he was under a lot of pressure fighting Ricciardo, the conditions, he must feel so relieved to finally win. He says unfortunately he doesn't feel relieved at all. He says he went out there and took what he needed to get. He doesn't feel lucky or… "No no no but it's been a long time," Johnny says. Lewis is still talking "... Or 'Thank God' , I don't feel like that. Of course it's been a long time but today – thank you man," he interrupts himself to answer a guy congratulating him on the way. "I just feel incredibly proud of the job we did, of the decision I made to stay out, not crashing, you know, with all the opportunities out there I could've for sure crashed but I just feel very proud." Eventually, prompted by Simon this time, he agrees it's been a long time. He says it's one of the hardest races to win. He's again interrupted by someone congratulating him on the way. "Merci," he says. "One of the hardest races to win," he continues. "I mean why is it so damn hard." They chuckle. "But I love it." – "You like hard," Johnny says. Which uh. 🥴 Anyway. They're doing this interview while walking up narrow metallic stairs, it's awful. He says he'll be celebrating with friends that night. He says they'll definitely party, the music is already going.

He looks at the camera. "Blessings to everyone, thanks so much for the support."

A few minutes later we see Merc taking the team photo. As Ted repeats, Nico really offered Lewis this win in a sense. And that's such an interesting thing to point out in their dynamic. 

[anawkwardlady]

I'm Ciel Phantomhive, head of the Funtom Compagny, Ask Me Anything.

"Hi Ciel ! I'm a big fan of your products, did your recent controversies impact the production or sells of your plushies and candies ?"

Thank you for your loyalty. Strangely, getting arrested by the police didn't affect my sells at all that much. Some concerned parents tried to boycott my brand but it didn't work (Boycotts usually end up in more money for the brand you're trying to boycott). I do hope now that I am in the clear (I am not a murderer)(And I only committed tax fraud as a 10yo because no one explained to me how taxes were working)(And yes I have a twin but it's a family issue being handled privately), I can regain the trust of the families who were offended.

"Sir Phantomhive, is the conspiracy that children souls are stuck in your talking Bitter Rabbits true ?"

... 👁

"And the fact that some people complained about how they were saying swear words to children such as 'Fuck' ?"

Children have to learn it somewhere I guess.

(They're saying 'hug', idiots.)

"Are you really 13 ?"

I'm obviously a really young looking 45 year old. This is what happens when you use the Funtom Skincare Collection.

"Are you going to post more recipe videos with your butler ? They're so cute !"

My name was trending on twitter for days because I apparently don't know how to crack an egg, so as said butler would say, for now I'm pouting.

"And anything new makeup wise ?"

You should @ my cousin she might drop a few hints...

"Heres a picture of my really long dog cuddling a Bitter Rabbit. Nothing more to add"

Nice long dog. Your Bitter Rabbit seems lonely though, it might be time to get it a sibling. Rabbits can die of loneliness did you know ?

[e8luhs]

6 8 12 17 18 id pick more but i feel bad

6.) speaking of tv adaptations, why would yours get cancelled? (other than capitalism)

gay people and too much swearing are really the only things i can think of

8.) what inspired your world building, if anything?

answered this one here :)

12.) okay be honest. pick a favorite oc from this ocverse.

rips off my shirt to reveal another shirt that says "LEA LUCAS DID NOTHING WRONG"!!!!!!!!!! her aesthetic and complexes have bewitched me heart and soul by accident. to be fair though all of my friends (including you beck hi beck) love lea due to her #girl swag and deranged behavior so whatever

17.) describe the "required reading" to understand your vision. be as pretentious as possible.

also answered this one here

18.) what aspect of the story would get you #canceled on twitter?

on call with cecil right now and i was like "i dont even know. i cant even imagine this." and cecil was like "people cancel you because lea is TOO controversial." I GUESS MAYBE ""BAD LGBT REPRESENTATION""??????? i have no idea.

23.) describe how everyones character gets butchered once in the public eye?

IF ANYONE MISINTERPRETS MY GUYS IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF. but i know exactly how everyone is going to be fanonized so my worst fears are like mavis: i honestly really dont know for mavis.... catriona: everyone is going to act like shes a one-dimensional mom friend i fear. GUYS SHE DOES NOT HAVE HER SHIT TOGETHER. GUYS SHE IS JUST AS COMPLICATED AND IS STRUGGLING AS MUCH AS EVERYONE ELSE!!!!!!! GUYS SHES JUST A GIRL AND THE WHOLE POINT OF THE CHARACTER IS THAT EVERYONE WANTS TO BE THERE FOR HER AND THAT ITS OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP Sorry im passionate about this one apparently. silas: reduced to like funnyman side character because he is like filled with whimsy and boundless optimism BUT HE STILL FACES THE FUCKING HORRORS BRO.... so scared for people to forget that just because you are optimistic doesnt mean you are immature or like stupid or etc kirabo: AAAUUUUUGHHHH super softified pastel flower crown fail just because theyre a quiet and anxious person -__- like dude kirabo is like 21 years old and having an existential crisis and fighting for their life against the horrors can you get that SHIT out of here. PLEASE lea: waiting with my chin in my hands for LEA DISCOURSE QUARANTINE THREAD #18: BACK IN THE SADDLE. either people are going to use her as a depthless vehicle for gamer jokes or whatever OR shes going to get the vriska treatment so hard where people either hate her entirely and think shes the worst (which at that point is like congratulations you fell for the facade she puts up) or love her (the correct one) trinity: edgy treatment but honestly i think thats what they would have wanted. like draw them with 100 knives. so true. vladimir: he is a TERRIBLE person. he also has like depth and complexities and historically people cannot for the life of them understand that these two things CAN in fact coexist. you connect the dots from there

[barabansetbabets]

23 book I want to read in 2023

I've seen a few people do these lists, so here's mine

La Reine Margot – Alexandre Dumas

This one is a little cheating, since it’s on my TBR, but it’s not really a classic that really attracts me, especially with my last experience with a Dumas. (Sorry, when I was 12 I found D’Artagnan so dumb I couldn’t even finish the book, which just didn’t happen at that age)

The Queen’s Thief – Megan Whalen Turner

I heard so much about this serie from Booklr and it’s on Arhive.org, so I’m really excited for this one !

How the One-Armed Sister Sweeps Her House – Cherie Jones

Trying to read books from all over the world, and this title make it very intriguing. Though the summary leads me to think it will be a very though read.

Handicap à vendre – Thibault Petit

A book about disabled’s rights in french worplaces (and the utter shit it is), mostly about Intellectual Disabled I think.

Aya de Yopougon - Marguerite Aboue & Clément Oubrerie

This is a mildly famous Comic Serie in France, and I’ve never read it so I want to finally bridge that gap.

Middlegame - Seanan McGuire

Once again a pretty popular book on booklr, and as I liked Every heart a Doorway I’m very excited for this one !

The Bomb – Alcante, Bollée & Denis Rodier

French Comic about the making of the Atomic Bomb. One again a though read, but it got praised a lot in France.

Les Indes Fourbes - Alain Ayroles & Juanjo Guarnido

Another french comic that got praised a lot. Seems interesting, but since it’s a comedy about the American Conquest, i’m a little wary about representation…. Guess I’ll read and see.

The witcher, Season of Storm – Andrzej Sapkowski

My Witcher period is a little behind me, but it’s the only book i have left to read so it’s worth the shot.

If on a winter’s night a traveler – Italo Calvino

This one get praised a lot for its narration and writing. I wiish I could read it in italian, but french will hae to do.

Quest for Fire - J.H. Rosny Aîné

Fantasy in prehistoric times ? Sign me up. (It’s very old so there’s little chance I will love it, but eh. Sometimes an okay read is all you can ask for.)

Texaco – Patrick Chamoiseau

I liked another novel by the same author, and this one won a big french award back in 1994.

Tè Mawon – Michael Roch

I’ve been meaning to read a Michael Roch’s books for years – and I SWEAR that this year is THE year I finally do ! (Once I get a job)

Iron Widow - Xiran Jay Zhao

This has been recced by everyone and their sisters (my sister at least) so I’ll try to finally read it!

Assassin’s apprentice - Robin Hobb

Never read anything by Robin Hobb. I’m a fake fantasy fan.

The City we became - N.K. Jemisin

Another book loved by a lot of people. I absolutely loved How Long 'til Black Future Month so this is a book i’m sure to love.

In mother’s land - Élisabeth Vonarburg

Once again it’s a book I’ve been meaning to read for years. It’s a SF book, where mens are scarce. and basically describing the new society. Exactly my genre of book!

Postcolonial Love Poem – Natalie Diaz

I want to try to read poetry, and this one seems good.

A doll’s house – Henrik Ibsen

It’s a norwegian play from the 19th century. It was apparently very feminist for its time, so much that it stirred a controversy way beyond the world of theatre so I’m curious to read it.

Therese and Isabelle – Violette Leduc

A lesbian autofiction. Need I say more.

Harrow the Ninth – Tamsyn Muir

I don’t care about my wallet state. I WANT to read this book and the next so much

La Horde du Contrevent – Alain Damasio

A french SF classic. I borrowed this book from my sister about two years ago, so it’s time I read it. Fun fact, this book pages are numbered down instead of up, which probably the most french thing I’ve ever seen. so edgy.

Toward the Terra - Keiko Takemiya

A SF manga drawn by a shojo artist. Looks beautiful and I hope it will be interesting to read!

Here's to hoping I will not be stuck in a reading slump for six months like last year

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 10th May

Something in the water with this week's songs. Not least because the title for both songs sound like pulp action thrillers, or vintage spy films. Will they live up to the expectations this has created in my head? Only one way to find out...

Mack the Knife - Louis Armstrong (peaked at Number 8)

Well, if you've been attentive, you know already that I really like this song. It's got a sort of dark comedy to it, a fun jazziness, a catchy but simple melody and links to a play I actually kind of know. What isn't there to love?

Louis Armstrong, on the other hand, is a prospect that I'm not wholly sold on. I don't dislike him, by any means, but I've yet to find a Louis Armstrong song that I properly love. Something in the gravelly voice doesn't quite work for me - though if there's any song that could turn me round on that, it's probably this one.

I love the little Dig man, there goes Mack the Knife spoken intro at the start, and to be fair, the muted trumpet that starts the whole thing off is also very cool, especially with the jazzy piano scatting underneath. It's a classy vintage start to a song, just laid-back enough to put you at ease.

Then Louis comes in, and actually, his voice does work for the song really well. I always think of Macheath as quite a smooth, debonair character, but Louis brings in a slightly rougher, more "knife you in a back alley" energy that makes Macheath into a slightly different type of criminal archetype. It's very menacing.

The instrumentation thoughout is spot-on, from the tinkling piano that comes in and out, to the clarinet that periodically rears its head. None of them are particularly obtrusive, but they keep the song moving along nicely, and stop it feeling like it's getting repetitive.

And then a brief spoken Take it away, Satch launches us via a fabulous key change into an instrumental ending. I like it, it's like all this pent up, nervous energy just got released. After a song about a murder skulking round, the instruments just let rip, and it's a great way to end.

I also should give Louis some credit here, as apparently he's the reason this is charting, with the other contemporary versions - like Dick Hyman's, a few weeks back - being copies. It was Louis that went to see an off-Broadway performance of the Threepenny Opera, and insisted on doing a version of Mack the Knife. Louis is also apparently the source of the little lyrical nod to Lotte Lenya, Kurt Weill's wife, and an actress in many of Brecht's plays. Which is a little nerdy nod that I've always appreciated. So yeah, respect, Louis.

Man With the Golden Arm - Billy Mays (9)

I went into this certain that this was going to be a James Bond song, but it turns out that that's the Man With the Golden Gun. Instead, the Man With the Golden Arm is from a 1955 film by the same name, scored by none other than Elmer Bernstein.

Everything about this film screams cool, from the poster - done in a very mid-century collage style with this weird arm - to the star-studded cast - Frank Sinatra and Kim Novak, anyone? - to the controversy it caused on release, as a film about drug addiction, which was still apparently a taboo topic to show so frankly on screen in 1956?

Honestly, I'd normally look more at the summary for a film like this, but even the brief look I took convinces me that I maybe ought to actually watch this film, so I don't want to spoil myself. Sorry!

Anyway, all that to say, it looks like a cool film, and trumpeter and bandleader Billy May's version of the main theme doesn't in any way disappoint. It's got this iconic "duh-duh-duh-duh-DUH" opening that I swear I've heard before, and the whole rest of it is just a little shy of 3 minutes' worth of big band awesomeness, with this insistently pounding horn line, escalating amounts of trumpet, and a driving drum beat to get your pulse racing - except for when it gets replaced by a cowbell. And it makes the cowbell work!

The whole song has swagger, style and swing. It's not a James Bond song, but somehow, if you'd told me it was, I don't think I'd even be surprised. It's got the right attitude and the right brand of jazzy confidence. I want it to play as I enter a room, you know?

Oh, man, both those songs were awesome. I don't think I've described so many things as "cool" in one single entry before, and I don't even regret it. I was prepared to crown Mack the Knife, because, let me repeat, I really love Mack the Knife. And then Billy May, completely out of left field, ladies and gentlemen!

Favourite song of the bunch: Man With the Golden Arm

[dzpenumbra]

6/4/23

I made it through the day. Another kinda tough one, but not as tough as the past two... so that's good.

I woke up after very upsetting dreams, but I don't remember them. Haven't dream journaled in a long time, so the reflex isn't there. Didn't get much sleep because of that, probably about 5 hours.

I got on social media in bed. I really need to stop doing that. I swear to god, like... every single conversation on Reddit is an argument. Half (and that's being super fucking generous) of Instagram is ads or paid placement. I'm not really here to complain about that, I just... it sets a bad vibe for the day. Honestly, more Reddit than Instagram. But today, I actually joined a conversation on Reddit. I was in a default sub, which is always a dumb idea... and it was a video of a cat attacking their owners at night, in the r/funny subreddit. And... I used to have that problem too. And 90% of the comments said shut the cat out of the room. A concerning number were advocating physically beating the cat to "correct" it. And then there was me and like two other people buried in there, sharing the apparently "controversial" first-hand experience that... this is textbook... Okay, it's really hard to put into words gently, so I'm going to say it the way I did in the comment. They need to play with their cat more, the cat is trying to play. I don't want to say neglect, because... people are very poorly educated, especially with cats, and for some reason think that cats are like... living stuffed animals or something? That they don't need social stimulation? And... yeah... it's obviously a delicate topic when you're dealing with these kinds of things, people get violently offended. But yeah, coming to the realization that I had been neglecting my cat... and making time to play with her before bed... it was a routine for us around when I started this journal, and quite a bit before. And she was like... 14, there's a huge stigma of like... "old cats don't play". Making that time for her completely solved that issue.

And I even got some person on a throwaway account say some stupid shit like "what the fuck are you talking about..." all that. I mean, all I said was that cats are crepuscular, they are most active at dawn and dusk, the video was showing very telltale tail movements that are like... textbook "I want to play". I explained the whole "cycle of cat life" which is play(hunt) -> feed -> find a safe place, maybe piss and shit -> sleep. And as long as those are accessible and being met, and your cat is healthy, you got yourself a happy cat. It is a very natural cycle for a pure carnivore. But, apparently, I might as well be speaking fucking Cantonese to people who want to come in and say "I don't know all that mumbo jumbo, what are you talking about? (as though they actually want the answer to that question) I've already made up my mind! The best solution here is to shut your door and neglect your neglected cat even further. And when they scratch at the door, contain them further. Why waste my precious time trying to get to know an adopted member of my family when I could be putting that time into being fucking 'right' on the internet."

It just makes me really sad. For the animals that don't have a say in it. For the unnecessary suffering. For the avoidable conflict and pain.

I guess that's a big Buddhist thing that I've always struggled with. The innate nature of life being Suffering. And Suffering comes from Attachment and Desire. And Nirvana - "heaven" is a close analog... kinda... - is a state of being in which one is not compelled/driven by Fear or Desire. And... I struggle with that. I always have.

I mean, I get it. If I didn't love my cat, I never would have suffered her death the way I have. If I didn't desire to save these animals that I have never met, I wouldn't suffer from the powerlessness of not being able to do anything. And, on the flip side, if I didn't fear being mugged in the woods by the recently evicted homeless masses, I would be more than willing to go for a walk. If I didn't fear wasting a gallery owner's time, and embarrassing myself, I would submit my work.

The problem I have with it is... you can't have one without the other. If you want to get rid of Fear, you have to get rid of Desire. And Desire is... ambition, it's setting goals, it's building projects.

I don't know. I just... I struggle with just... seeing the darkness of the world. It disturbs me. And it happened in such... sudden and dramatic ways for me. I remember it very clearly, it was Fall 2018. And really what it took was me getting my bell rung by several big ethical betrayals... and my naivete started cracking. And I started to see... all the dark things I just pushed to the side and turned a blind eye to my whole life. All the monsters lurking in the dark corners. And it fucking spooked me. But I also, at the same time... started seeing all the magic in the mundane, in the everyday things that I also used to look at very shallowly.

I don't think I've ever written about this, I really want to share it because it was a pivotal moment in my life and... I was horrified to share it with others for years because of how hard it was for me to actually process. Then I'll move on to tarot after.

This was when I was getting back into smoking weed for the first time in 10+ years. I started getting really into Darren Brown videos. If you don't know who he is, he's an illusionist and mentalist from over the pond. He did this one experiment where he got a statue for a small rural town and installed it in the town square and started a folktale from scratch. I don't recall details, forgive me, I'm gonna paraphrase what I remember. As far as I remember, he made up a backstory about it granting luck to people who... do something with it, like rub its head or something, I don't know. But he spread the rumor very subtly, with no one in on it, so that the town would spread the tale themselves, so that the folklore would spread on its own. And... over time... people were routinely using it. And it was actually granting people luck. Like... there were a lot of weird coincidences that started happening. And it made me start to think... can we actually... manufacture... luck? Meh, that's not the right word. Um... manifest? Create? Can we, through a placebo effect, actually create good fortune for others? Would it be possible for ourselves? Or do you truly have to fully believe in the placebo for it to work?

It was honestly art. That experiment, that piece - deeply inspiring to me. At such a level that it made me completely question the entirety of existence. It put me in a complete "oh fuck, am I going to die" panic-state. Like a... "you just absorbed arcane eldritch knowledge and Cthulhu is pissed" kinda moment. I'm sure being high really helped with that... And when I called my counseling center and asked for an emergency session with my counselor to try and process this extremely scary moment for me the next day, they brought me in to see someone I had never met before who was an intern... and I was the first person she had seen... and she recommended I go to a two-week outpatient program at a mental health facility. And my timid, anxious, "do your work", abuse victim ass actually went. I told my current therapist this and he had his head in his hands the whole time, like "oh god no, oh no you do not do that..." <shrugs>

Not a very happy ending. I know. To be fair though, I learned some very life changing things from the workshops I went to in that program. I mean that wholeheartedly. I learned how not normal my family is. I learned about trauma and abuse. I learned about polyvagal theory and different forms of CBT. I even learned some new forms of yogic practices there. But man, I really wish I learned that shit somewhere else... XD

Back to the moment of... waking up... What that experiment... project... I don't even know what to call it. What it did for me was help me unlock something that I had pretty tightly locked under cynicism and cold, sterile, scientific skepticism. Which... though done under the guise of "science", is very unscientific in its execution... "It" being... the idea that a placebo effect is... somehow not relevant. For example... if I come across this lucky dog statue and my friend tells me the lore that it makes you more lucky and I pet it... and my friend goads me into buying a lottery ticket and I win... It would be blatantly unscientific to say that the dog did not affect the outcome. The simple factor that the belief in luck exists - even if it's not 100% genuine faith, even if it's skeptical - is enough to get someone to try. And if they try, they are eligible for success. If they go "that dog is horseshit", they never try, they guarantee loss. So... if simply having a symbol of good fortune present equates to more confidence, which leads to more "risk-taking", which leads to more fortune... Then can you really say the dog statue does not generate more fortune? I mean, it's a direct chain of events.

It's really hard for me to communicate this concept the way that I currently understand it now. I've tried many times before and people just sorta stare at me like I'm trying to sell them a paperclip or something, I don't know. But what it really unlocked in me was the realization of the incredible power of belief, and hope, and faith. That they have a very direct impact on your experience of life. Through our willingness to participate with life more fully. And... this is something I could really use more of in my life. I could really really really use more... faith. More hope. More confidence. Because I could really use a turn in fortune. And... I think the idea that I could actually create the means to do that, to generate faith and confidence, and subsequently fortune... it was really life changing. It really made me feel like I actually had some agency in my life. It started to make all of the spiritual texts I had feverishly studied as curiosities throughout my life start to... make more sense. And I started exploring again to start piecing things together, with the newfound perspective that symbolism and metaphor are incredibly important, not something to be scoffed at as "just a metaphor".

Back then, I used to be a cynical atheist who kinda really didn't give meaning in the Universe that much thought. I was much more concerned with Me and Now, than anything greater than it. My ex used to compare me to Dr. House, if that gives you an idea. I was witty, I was funny, I was charming in my own way... but I was miserable, and in pain all the time, and crass. Reconnecting with the idea, even just the suggestion that magic... like magic-magic... is actually... real? Just... not the way people think? And in ways that people overlook and diminish every single day. It was revolutionary.

Like this, check this shit out. I got a package today, that Amazon order from a few days ago. I got a set of succulent pots as part of it, I don't like ordering shit from China... mostly because of how much fucking pollution goes into shipping stuff like that across the damn planet, how much waste goes into it... but I caved on this one. And they're cool, I don't wanna shit on it too much. I went and tended to my succulents that I got last winter. These things grew really nicely, and I live in a cold area. They're fucking desert plants. So I'm honestly shocked they did so well sitting right in the windowsill. I pulled two of them and I'm going to try to propagate them. And how you do that... is you just pluck the leaves, you leave them out for a few days for the attached part to callous over and for them to dry out a tad... then you give them a bit of moisture and maybe some substrate to chill in and before you know it... roots and an entire new clone starts growing from where the leaf was attached. Even crazier than that? Moss can do this... with literally any single cell it has. Translating this to human terms, that would be like... someone stole a hair off your head and gave it some water and in 6 months they had a fucking full clone of you. Tell me that shit isn't magic. Tell me that isn't something that would be in a Brothers Grimm fable or some shit.

And people will argue that! People will go... "no, akshually <pushes glasses up> it's not incredible, it's actually very normal and very mundane and I've seen cooler." And you know what? How can I get mad at people for doing that? I used to be one of them!

I think it's a really big part of who I am, and it was a big missing piece in my creative life that I desperately needed to find. And once I did, I started to get inspiration, and direction, and purpose. I needed to share with others how fucking amazing these things are! Just like I shared about the succulents and the moss, which was today's learning adventure. I live for that shit.

Okay, story time over. I hope I did that story justice and I hope I made sense but it's getting fuckin l a t e... So, I'm gonna try to do tarot quickly because I've been on a roll with it.

Past - V: The Wise One, inverted (Spiritual guidance.  Doctrine and tradition.  Connecting with a spiritual group or mentor.) Present - The Hermit, inverted (Soul-searching, introspection.  Moving slow, calm and grounded.  Being still in the midst of a storm.) Future - Queen of Wands (Warm, dedicated, confident, optimistic. Focusing inward to harness creative energy.)

Well this is interesting... two new cards... with this deck, at least.

The beginning of this thread is The Wise One, otherwise called The Hierophant, inverted. And... this has taken form in my life... very literally a few times. In the summer of 2019, about 6 months after that whole waking up and starting to see the magic in the mundane thing, I actually started to commit to seeking out a spiritual community. And I just kept running into snags, really bad fortune. I started to tell a story here and edited it out, I just need to get to bed. So... needless to say, there were several moments like this and I eventually gave up trying to find a spiritual mentor, in fact... I really really could use one still... but now, after so much bad luck... I'm pretty scared to seek one out.

That image, The Wise One in disorder, is connected to The Hermit, also inverted. And... I am a literal hermit. So... it fits, obviously. The inversion? I would say... when the qualities of being a hermit are not... functioning correctly? When it becomes... avoidance? When it's not so much slow grounded movement as it is... freezing or being stuck.

And this is connected to... the Queen of Wands. The nurturing warden of the fire of creativity. I don't even really have anything more to say about the card... XD I was very pleased to see her, it's a very wonderful image and spirit that I would love to embody some day.

So... I'm kinda reading this temporally. Like... this whole... rejection and interruption preventing me from reaching people who could help me cultivate my spirit, my soul. Which... obviously, with my career and my soul, is also directly tied to my art... Those emotional wounds and phobias are causing my hermit phase to... not be what it could be. The Hermit phase is a transformative one, like emerging from a cocoon. And... my fears of being hurt or rejected by mentors... again... for the millionth time... are keeping me stuck. And... if I manage to free myself from that? On the other side is a life that I would very much love. Being wise and confident and warm, and being able to channel creativity more freely, with more ease and comfort.

I like that message. And... I don't think I mentioned this, but I kinda ended my therapy the other day by saying... "I really need a mentor, one in the art field, to just sit down with me and get to know me and help me find a place where I will shine." You know, like literally any of my teachers were supposed to do. And this fully affirms that. I really do think that would be the smartest thing for me. Even smarter than just showing up at an open studio or taking a class or something.

The next step with that? Where to start looking? And what to even look for?... I'll get on that after sleep because it got ridiculously late. Bye!

[autumn-foxfire]

Oops, that wasn’t my ask was it? *scrolls down* double oops, IT WAS :0 now I only said that cause from my impression of things, from the beginning people were only interested in the Todoroki's and interest in Endeavor sky-rocketed because of Hawks, it took awhile for his redemption to garner interest, but EndHawks? 100% sold. Because that's rough and tough Endy having funny interactions with his co-worker, it's a new look on him. That's what I personally meant by "Convinced Hawks won 4th in 2018 cuz of Endy simps" that it was less Hawks himself, and more what Hawks could do for Endeavor, and it's just a jokish conspiracy anyway, that technically could be true too. It IS something that happens with fans of other anime. People have their favorite, and then there's the "favorite's friend." Anyways Foxy, I think anon is a hurt Endy stan, not sure why, but I never thought I'd have to avoid all Endy stans as I do Dabi and Twice stans too, apparently if they're wild enough to get Caleb chased off Twitter over a swear word, then whatever this is too apparently??? There's nothing weird about what you said either, fans can and DO vote for characters they find hot?? Fan service goes a long way??? I wasn't trying to be "whiny" in my asks, just genuinely, well and truly baffled because I thought cool character moments helped ranks in the poll, like Ochako's speech and Iida's hand-holding carried them all this way. Until I realized people might've thought Endeavor, who Hori's been mostly drawing as I described before, was a cool character moment for him. I really don't care if the students rank higher than Hawks, the rankings haven't been an issue, I know he's controversial, and the kids have always been well-loved that's normal, they always rank-high regardless of screentime, (aka none of them ever really show up lol) it's just Endeavor was too yet being 4th makes him 1st essentially as TodoBakuDeku aren't budging, and that's what was shocking. And idk what you mean by bringing up Shindo, nobody here said anything on him??? All I know is that fandom wanted Shinsou or Dabi to take his place. "antipathy" "truth" WHAT are you on about?? Who are you even talking to for saying "no Hawks stan has a valid reason for their intense dislike of Kaminari" I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT. TUMBLR HAS BEEN DEAD FOR CONVERSATIONS FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS. What truth??? That Shindo stans troll-voted for him for funsies? Hey good for them, that's wild dedication. You make it sound as if Hawks stans were complaining about that guy sneaking in 10th place and "can't acknowledge the truth of Shindo being a good character" which LMAO. And why would Foxy buy French volumes, she doesn't speak french? Actually I finally see what the issue here is now, anon is mistaking you for a butt-hurt Dabi stan and telling you to go buy a volume where your favorite arsonist gets the ranking you want for him. Man, watch your words k? We weren't sounding as extreme as you anywhere, "potshots?" "poor reading comprehension?" "grow up?" you see any insults? + THEY ARE PICTURES, + alright if there's a ranking for characters in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I guess I better go stop families and literal adults out with their friends discussing them and tell them to grow up and leave it alone, huh? This such a bad thing to talk about? God. "assumptions about the japanese" you mean a factual thing for all fans of anime. What's really making assumptions about them would be the countless posts I see that try to drag in their cultural concepts in villain meta instead of something basic like uuuh "fan-service wins you votes." Dang, I had no idea simping was apparently being rude to an entire ethnicity, not like Hori himself doesn't also simp for the ladies he draws and that sketch of sweaty post-exercise tank top Endy japanese twitter keeps redrawing and posting on my dash right????

The fact that anon came back before I could respond to this ask just shows us that they were, indeed, a salty Endeavor stan (sadly you have a bad batch of favs for every character T-T).

I don't even know why they overreacted to a vent that, outside of this blog, doesn't reach anyone (I doubt even my followers take the time to read every ask I answer XD).

I'm not even sure they knew what they were writing when they sent that ask (and then the next one) because a lot of it is very hard to make out. Or they aren't fluent English speaking and struggled to translate their thoughts into English (which could be a possibility too).

You know what's funny about the simping comment though was that it was used in their next ask to say that's why we like Hawks. I wonder if they noticed that they just defeated their own argument XD

Anyway, it was a wild ride, that's for sure.

[thankyouforthefunny]

As I said in the post, it’s completely fine if you dislike Kamala and don’t want to vote for her. Your criticisms of her policy are valid and not what I was denouncing in the post. The part that annoys me is the misunderstandings spread by the same leftists who pride themselves on being smarter than everybody else

My stance is that people shouldn’t be touting themselves as well-informed and intelligent political experts without remembering a second of what they learned (or should have learned) about checks and balances from age 12 in school. Very much that tweet that said “we did learn this is school but you were drawing a picture of an eye”

Apparently it’s controversial for me to say I don’t like misinformation being spread even if it’s for the benefit of the same “correct” side I’m on. I swear people on here see the words “Kamala Harris” and “Israel” and just black out and lose access to the part of the brain that allows for reading comprehension. The amygdala is one son of a bitch, huh?

Funny how the leftists who brag about reading theory and have enourmous superiority complex are constantly demonstrating them don’t have any functional knowledge about civics in the US

You don’t have to like Kamala Harris, but by saying “if she really cared about Palestine she would’ve started an arms embargo or demanded a ceasefire by now” you’re blatantly advertising how completely uneducated and uninformed you are. You’re at the same level as the dumb redneck conservatives you love to complain about.

If you’re under the impression the vice president has control of the military, can pass legislation, can sign things into law, can bypass the Presidents’ actions etc etc, you sincerely need to go back to Schoolhouse Rock instead of spending your time embarrassing yourself online for moral superiority points.

Additionally, it would be nice for everyone to stop using the genocide of Palestinians as a gotcha buzzword to shut down any type of conversation about the realities of the choices for president. Stop leveraging other people’s suffering and deaths to feel good about your political stances.