#that a chunk of these people got real stuff theyre dealing with

[helpful-hardware]

sometimes i remember this site has a reputation for a reason. so many people just end up running with shit that is so incongruent with reality it just makes me baffled like

how do you even exist. why the fuck did you come to That specific conclusion about yourself like ?????

[rosewinelonging]

.

so theres something i wanted to talk about. <- HOLY SHIT that sounds like the beginning of a youtube drama apology video LOL its actually not serious at all i just wanted talk abt my writing. an umm this is kinda gonna be personal in a way usually wouldnt put on a porn blog but! who cares lol this is my blog an i can do w/e i want

but first i wanted to say like. how genuinely shocked i am abt the amount of attention i recieved. when i started this blog it was just on a whim. i sat down one day and wrote 70+ posts in my drafts before i unprivated and started posting them. i never expected to get more than 10 followers tops but now, if u combine my followers here an on twitter i have over 70 an ill probably hit a hundred in the next couple months. its not a huge number but for me it honestly is. an then i started the server an got to talking with people an i was like wow! people actually really enjoy in content

i deal with a lot of, not shame but just embarrassment around writing super indulgent stuff because its like shit im really bearing my soul out here lol and also as my followers uve probably noticed a common trend of me taking ideas an expanding on them past just the porn aspect by adding plot or headcannons or trying to realistically come up with ideas of why characters would act in certain ways. so i guess im jus gonna explain why i do that

so first things first: i. actually im not that interested in sex. i mean i like masturbating and i like girls and i wouldnt turn it down its just in general im happy with myself an writing. ive honestly questioned if i was asexual for a long time but i dont like to be bogged down by labels so it just is what it is. my sexual fantasys that actually involve myself are usually me jus cuddling an kissing a girl thats literally about it LOL

so because of that i dont really like porn? or just straight up porn? i mean i DO i watch it on the daily an i love lookin at porn art but honestly i can never get off to it. the only thing that really does it for me tho is listening to [real] girls moaning thats hot as hell i would love to get a bitch beneath me jus to hear her sound like that

but for stuff like reading porn fics, unless its REALLY good i dont bother. most jus feel repetitive an boring. not shitting on other ppls writing thats usually completely fine its jus if its straight sex im not interested. bc im not really in it for the sex! im in it for i dont know how to explain it, the more psychological reasons? i enjoy reading about characters an thinking about why they would things and how putting them in different scenarios would make them change. im less interested in them as a character but rather what they represent.

when i say 'playing dolls' im completely serious.

so i get worried a lot that ppl wont like when i treat it like that because theyre usually so far removed from the actual homestuck elements that i try to avoid those aspects entirely which is cutting out a good chunk of content i make or want to make.

ah hmmm i feel like im gonna get misunderstood. SUDDEN SHIFT OF TOPIC! i am autistic obv which probably plays into why i view things so analytically. im not an emotional person at all despite how my typing style may be. i have a generally detached view of the world which definitely translates to my writing. but another thing i havent talked abt is im severely dyslexic. like bad bad. and it makes writing extraordinarily difficult because it heavily effects the way i think and how i put words together in a negative way. its like everything is completely disconnected and i have to figure out a way to put it together in a way that makes sense hence my sometimes over-convulted word choice, blunt writing and a distinct lack of pretty sentences, and the god awful amount of commas and run on sentences

it leads to me struggling really hard with getting the right words. i dont get writers block but i do get a sentence that looks wrong and leaves me sitting confused for 30 minutes to months at a time.

SO what im trying to say is im very. unconfident in my ability to words things in a way thats clear and well strung together ESPECIALLY in rants like this. i dont know what to do about that but im just putting it out there.

anyway. wow ive noticed this is getting so long lol yea i literally never shut up i have too many thoughts at all times BUT with all that being said i think its far enough down that most ppl stop reading but i wanted to talk abt a few of my longfics that ive honestly been too embarrassed to talk abt now that i have an active audience who actually enjoys my content bc 1. its not what most ppl come here for an 2. it makes me feel pretentious when i talk about it LOL

but if youve scrolled long enough through my blog youve probably seen me mentioned psychostriders au a few times. honestly I HATE IT!! I HATE THE AU AND THE ORIGINAL PREMISE IT SUCKS SOOOOO BAD. but also i love the general concept of murderers an kidnapping an torture etc etc. ive developed a few of my own versions of this au [sorry i cant stress this enough, the whole hitman thing is so fucking stupid. it sucks. severely.] one of which im actively writing and the others i have plans to do so one day.

THE REASON! i havent talked abt it is cause idk guys rnt my brand an ive kept it strider / john throughout all the fics. like i love john. hes my little lad, gender? beyond comprehension to others and himself. he/him lesbian vibes tbh but anyway the fics. arent about the characters. like you couldnt switch out the names with other characters and ive kept 'base' traits but honestly i dont know or really care how close it is to canon. all i DO care about is that its realistic in the situation and regarding the personalilites ive settled on.

but as ive said before these fics arent about the characters as characters but also it is but also the main part about them are the themes. the themes and the meanings and the psychological aspect behind their actions and the utter despair john goes through. im not writing these bc 'oh! this would b hot' cause i could go that whenever. i have a million other stories like that. im writing it because i have an abstract concept i want to look into and im simply using these characters to play the part and explore it

so i guess i just get worried abt talking abt that bc! its hugely self-indulgant and its not rlly abt the porn part. honestly the main fic [which is Scarlet Begonias] has few sex scenes scattered about, nothing in the first half. and god! i love this fic i love writing it and im still in the first drafting phase [i have everything written out in bullet points but i need to actually write it out. tho its only the ending chapters. after that ill get into my second draft.] and im so excited to one day have it written out. and its gonna be GOOD. im going to pour my heart and soul into it im going to rewrite it a hundred times until im satisfied and when im done im going to publish a second version with added authors commentary picking it apart.

it means a whole lot to me because its the culmination of everything i love to write about. but. idk i guess im jus worried abt being that personal now that i have an actual audience bc im a porn writer lol <- THATS NOT TO SAY i dont want to be seen as a porn writer or im annoyed by it bc its literally true but its like. thats my business and then the psychostrider stuff is my pleasure. i dont know if that metaphor makes sense LOL

but i just havent built my audience around this so i truly dont know how u guys would respond. i kind of want to jus never talk about it then one day drop the 50k beast out of nowhere but i have an issue that is 'talks too much' so idk idk

so um i the reason i wanted to talk abt this was i was clearing my drafts and one of the earliest drafts since the beginning of this blog has been me talkin abt the 3 psychostriders fics <- sick in the head fr

heres the post, its slightly dated but w/e:

scarlet begonias:

religion and what it means to be a sinner. concepts of morality and temptation

the motor works in an empty room:

motherhood and the idea of legacy. concepts of inability and paranoia

winter never comes:

self-identity and defiance of systems. concepts of deception and corruption

actually im gonna expand. so scarlet begonias is at its core a story about religious sin and the idea of repenting. what defines a sinner? who gets to punish them if god isnt doing it? is fate avoidable?

winter never comes is about what it means to have humanity. at what point is someone considered to have lost this? this is emphasized by johns fight to keep himself. emphasis on patterns and compliance vs rebellion

the motor works in an empty room is a story about cruelty. its about wanting to make a lasting impact, the relevancy of life, something that is unachievable by most and despised by those who get it.

other details:

motor john is virgin mary while winters john is mary magdelene

winter is a sci-fi dystopian

motors is the most brutal w direct violence / rape an unlike the others wont be done as a multi chapter fic but as a series of interconnected oneshots

these all have playlists an im so fuckin pumped to finish writing them JUST so i can show them LOL i fucking love making playlists and my music taste is actually banger

ok! thats it honestly i always feel a lot better when i write this stuff out. gonna post this an then never acknowledges its existance so if u read this far um good job i guess an have a nice day <33

[smutav]

So i posted the pictures I had for my xray and comic in this post here and I said id wait a year but I’ve decided I need to lay this project to rest and move on to what comes next. Its under the cut because its mad king heavy

the old man part was fully scripted out so I’m going to throw the script in here first then it’ll be just notes for the general plotline

(M) Old Man   = O1 / (J) Old Man   = O2 / Xray          = X / Vav           = V

we come in on Xray and Vav coming onto the scene but we start lookin at the old men

O2: "Uh Oh, the calvaries here" O1: "issit the popo? tell them they cant make me go back... to that horrible home... fulla old people..." O2: "No.. its those spandex kids again" O1: "Oh, the blue one confused me... so blue jus like those dirty cops" O2: "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE" [O2 throws something that lands nowhere near xray and vav] V : "Look you have to stop causing a ruckus!" O1: "ah ah ah prettyboy we got da bomb" O2: "Thats right if you get in our way it'll be a real stinker!" O1: "Uh Ohhhh"

X : "you have got to be kidding me" O1: "I'm too old for kidding, im old-ding over here" V : "What are you doing with a bomb!?" O2: "We've got demands!" O1: "Oh yeah lots of demands!" O2: "We want.... Pudding!" O1: "Oh yeah and none of that rice shit in there" O2: "get that rice out of our pudding no chunks!" O1: "itsa chokin hazard, I almost died when they had that at the home" O2: "thats why we left they was tryna kill us" O1: "But you only show up to stop two guys havin fun" O2: "Ya punks!" [Vav has snuck over to the obviously hidden 'stink bomb' and gags when he sees whats under the cover]

O2: "Ey!" [he smacks Vav with a cane] "gettaway from there" O1: "These two have no manners" O2: "they jus go touchin stuff that doesnt belong to them!" O1: "Well two can play at that game" [he moves towards Xray pointing at his glasses] "I want those" X : "How about I give you this instead" [he shoots a lazer at the old guy but it bounces off his walker] O1: "uh oh you shouldn't have done that" X : "oh yeah what if i do it again" [it really has the same result smart guy]

[Vav at the same time is dealing with.. a really slow old guy. and he dodges a punch an the old guy just keeps goin down and hits the ground] O2: "Ah! I'm hit thats it for me! [he tries to get up but just knocks himself over again] it's over for me I'm deadd. You killed me ya bastard" V : "I really didn--" O2: "this blood is on your handssss ohhh im goinnnn" [Vav backs off while the old man keeps slowly 'dying' to help out with Xray who's wrestling for his glasses from O1]

X : "Youre smudging up my glasses!" O1: "oh i'll do more than that" [he moves to take a lick at them] X : "no you dont!" [He punches the old man square in the jaw] O1: [catches himself on the walker] "you want a boxing match, i used ta have the belt ya know" [he lands a punch on xray who doesnt even flinch]

V : [Vav comes up from behind and pulls the old man away] O1: "No he's got me!" [he flails a bit but ineffectively to get out] "this is just like the 40s you cant stop all this" V : "We're sending you both back to the old folks home just stay there this time!" O1: "You'll never keep us caged! We'll always be ba-- Oh no is this a heart attack? Ma is that you in the light I'm-- I'm comin... comin to kick your dead ass" [and he's dead]

[Xray and Vav dump the old guys on an elderly bus they're used to dealing with these guys 'dying' and approach the stink bomb which is the stink jug but theres wires and stuff attached to supposedly detonate it] X: "Well I guess we'll have to deal with this" [he kicks the 'stink bomb' and Vav goes green] V: "I guess it'd be best to get it to Hilda she'll know how to get rid of it" X: "right lets go" [he starts walking leaving Vav to carry the barrel, poor vav]

I hope the notes after this make sense plot wise a lot of it was going to be explored deeper as we get drawing XDD ((also you get all my note writing jokes that i make to myself))

V = xray and vav / K = mad king / R  = rimmy tim / M = mogar

(V) - I need,, some basic everyday hero biz to start the story with - tIME TO THROW THE OLD MEN IN THERE (K) - He decides to try out his powers a lil test run ((around Hilda's lab)) - Xray and Vav crash the party ofc - He gets by them EASY slow mo can't do much against teleporting - He didn't have much of a goal for it but, now he knows he has the upper hand on Xray and Vav - He leaves victorious (V) - He gets the business end of a run in with ender ryan - What was that?? he can teleport?? - Well we have to figure something out! (R) - Rimmy Tim runs into Mad King - Which is wild! thought he was dead! - but he does have some weird ass shit going on (K) - Wow running into Rimmy Tim isnt that neat? - He pays no mind to the Battle Buddy (R) - Rimmy Tim is crashing at Jake's place ((to be relevant)) - He also meets Xray and Vav but nobody knows what his full deal is ((and theyre distracted from having they ass kicked))

(V) - Vav is the plan guy - They get intel that he has a weird power source - it gave him the powers so if they can figure it out maybe they can take them away! - We'll need to be stealthy boys... - MOGAR! - ask mogar for help, he distract while they sneak in and nab the gem (M) - The plan involves Mogar fighting Mad King up front - Mogar runs into Rimmy Tim and is suspicious of him (K) - Ofc he knew Xray and Vav would make a plan - Mogar comes to fight him aw they just decided to send a fwiend - Mad King is busy beating Mogar and doesn't notice that they got the gem ((Uh Oh! Plothole!)) (M) - They dont see him at the meeting place (K) - He Notices when he decides to experiment with it and tries out a lesser power source - Resulting in Zombie Mogar

(V) - They HAVE to find Mogar - poking around the outside for a sign of him they find his sword in the dumpster - thats,,, not good - its really heavy but if vav straps it to his back he can handle it - they wind up splitting up for any sign of Mogar (K) - Well if you're going to be rude about it - [teleports in the streets] - Have it your way do what you want - [and he leaves Mogar there] - when he teleports back Rimmy Tim is there and he quips ab how convenient tping is (R) - MK has him get rid of the new power source obviously a failure (V) - It gets dark but vav hears a noise in the alley - He finds Mogar! But he's eating something - Mogar growls and starts running at him - *british screaming* - As he BOOKS IT around a corner Xray runs into him and Vav just grabs his arm - NO TIME TO EXPLAIN - so what the plans just fucking run - oh wait thats Jake's van - *climbs in* wEHAVE TO GO HIT THE GAS - bro its a red light - iTS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT THERES NO TRAFFIC JUST - Mogar jumps on the vAAAAAAAA - Thats enough to convince Jake she slams on the gas - " you guys are paying for any tickets i get"

((for context, Jake is my oc she has an ask blog that I was planning to use to be like in between she and rimmy tim are hanging out and you might find out things from interacting w her. But for character knowledge she’s an appliance installer that works with The Monarchy’s Servants. Which that is the company that installs the stuff that comes out of Monarch Labs. there was also a whole bit where she and rimmy tim would be hanging out and he’d be joking like oh do you ever go in like “ah m’lord!! is this installation to your liking thank you m’lord!!” and she’d goof back if he ever had a house for her to install shit in she’d do it just for him.

and for how Jake and Rimmy tim met it was at 3am dennys a few years ago and they been buds ever since))

(R) - Jake's checking on her van later and Rimmy Tim comes out to give a hand - and he asks what happened and she's shaking a lil - she just leaves it as hero biz as usual she thinks (V) - bloody hell we have to help mogar! - yeah what did Mad King do to him! - they gotta bait and catch him (R) - Jake gets a call from xray and vav asking for help getting mogar to a lab - Rimmy Tim tags along and gets to see Mogar (M) - Xray and Vav catch mogar and have him leashed in the lab - But?? Is he dangerous?? Can he contaminate others??

(R) - This is wrong - RYAN is wrong - Rimmy Tim,, Has to do something - discussion doesnt work, Ryan's just a wall discussion wise - theres no talking him out of anything he's too absorbed (V) - Mogar has good moments - reference the rotten flesh test w vav (K) - Rimmy Tim is getting increasingly worried ab him - Rimmy Tim mentions Mogar - Well it wasn't on PURPOSE - but yeah i did that - No, I don't particularly know how to reverse it (R) - Rimmy Tim tries talking hey what if we just did this partner like - Nothing can beat the battle buddies then this can all be done right? - Mad King brushes him off and tells him to stay out of his business - Ryan gets caught in the rain - He claws Rimmy's face oh no! his money maker! - Rimmy Tim decides enough is enough and leaves to help Xray and Vav fix this,,, fix him,,, (V) - They hear Mad King in the rain - hhhhh i dont want to deal with more monsterrrrssss - Rimmy Tim joins the team! - he explains his history with Mad King - and how he's worried - wORRIED LOOK WHAT HE'S DONE TO MOGAR - He digs out the lesser power source that was used on Mogar - THIS made THAT *points at Mogar* (K) - Mad King is bandaged and goes to sleep off the pain and *emotions* (gross) of the evening - as he drifts off instead of dreaming he finds himself seeing through Jeremy's damaged eye - He just sees xray and vav but he cant hear a word - needless to say he feel betrayed

(Finale leadup)

- they need a plan to catch MK - Xray and Vav decide to drill RT ab possible weaknesses - he doesnt have much to contribute though they havent worked together in years and he didnt have all this magic junk going on. - and all RT's seen of the magic junk is teleporting - Well have you seen his hideout? can you explain like layout or whats going on there - oh fuck yeah i guess that is intel lemme sketch it out

- Hilda is playing around with whats the difference between the gem they stole from MK and the one that RT says changed Mogar - Mayhaps after some experimentation gone wrong she figures they cant use the thing against him but need a device that'll remove that specific energy - so you know a SUCKING machine - While she's working so closely with this she starts having enderhilda dreams but like when she's awake shes like yeah thats neat but you aint caught my interest you dumb gem

- Wait RT if you and MK used to be in cahoots do you have any powers that can beat him? - I got guns we were guns for hire you know battle buddies - wot MK doesnt use guns he plays mind games - well yeah NOW he does he uh-- didnt have it all together after our last mission

(flashback)

- Battle buddies are cleaning up after a mission - they're both pretty angry like we wound up being the bad guys AGAIN how does this keep happening - RT agrees he's not a fan of dirty cash - MK comes to the conclusion if i controlled these sheeple nobody would be calling my shots and makin me do the wrong thing - come on ryan ya cant control people thats wrong - whats a little more blood on my hands if it means making things better on the whole - and MK winds up leaving the battle buddies :C

(Finale)

- Hilda comes in like hey i got your guys's sucking machine go suck off mad king or whatever - and vavs like Alright! lets make a plan lads! - then we go to MK - he can see them coming, he's gotten practice watching through RT's eyes - he gets the machine from them as theyre barely through the door - "well I was curious what this would do but what does it matter anyways" - and he's got like some full ender shadow clones to help with the fight and they all pair off ((not like an army literally just enough to pair off MK dont need an army to beat these guys)) - the real MK personally faces off RT though :) - RT "why do i get the real ryan why couldnt you face off with like vav or something" - MK "im curious if you could shoot me 'buddy'" - RT "well I doubt i'll do something but i do owe you one ;)" and he do shoot him but yeah the bullets are stopped and do nothing - MK "I do hope you brought something else if youre turning against the MAD KING you have best be prepared" - RT "what can i say" [drops gun] "I stick to my guns" [throw punch]

- but yeah after the fighting and witty dialogue clears it looks like MK do have the upper hand - RT was left bleeding out ((stabbed through with pointy fingers oooo MK got his blood literally on his hands)) - While MK is monologuing RT sneaks into the bathroom which MK pauses mid monologue when he sees a flash of RT's bloody hand reaching for the showerhead - cant believe that fuck - and RT comes out and hoses him down ((yes it reaches that far LOOK its got a long hose)) - then MK's on the ground fucking sizzling - vav's like oh right! and jumps up to get the sucking machine and they use it on MK

(epilogue)

- Jake drops RT off where they got MK locked up and shes like "do what u gotta do man" and RT's like "thanks for understanding bud" - and he gets in MK shifts to look at him - RT starts to apologize for ruining his plan but gets interrupted as MK says "you were right" - which is a SHOCKING thing to hear from that guy - and mad king is like "thank you" - and we end on "anytime buddy."

so that was my plot I havent been kidding when I said it was a long comic plan. Its been heartbreaking to have this whole thing ripped from me but I can’t tell a story about friendship w a manipulator. 

I’m not sure how long it’ll be until I actually get another thing started but I hope its soon because I was very excited to share a good long story with the xray and vav fandom and I thought this plot wouldve been like a good season worth of content

I had some draws tagged under “#its all connected” and they were all me working on this idea before I actually decided to write it out and try for a whole comic after being inspired by some close friends and the good at being bad animation collab

[deltaengineering]

Winter Anime 2019 Part 4: That’s all, folks.

Over already? This is a pretty thin season with not a lot of shows, so it’s not that surprising that there’s not many good ones either. Still, a weak showing. Oh well, let’s get it over with. There were a few decent ones in the last batch.

Circlet Princess

What: Dimwitted schoolgirl is good at some vaguely defined virtual fighting sport, changes school based on it, finds out relevant club has been abolished. Forecast says: 5 member plot incoming.

❌ I think it’s already clear this show isn’t very ambitious, and not very well written either. A game adaptation at its laziest.

❌❌ Man, this girl is STUPID. What the hell.

❌ The rest of the cast are less stupid (which isn’t hard), but that just means they’re so forgettable they might as well not exist.

❌❌ It looks cheap, and by that I mean really really cheap. The character design is ISO standard anime and it’s mostly on model, but that’s as good as it gets. The animation just sucks. That’s a death sentence for an action/sports show with terrible characters.

Bermuda Triangle - Colorful Pastrale

What: Japanese Spongebob, as in cute mermaids. Doing things optional.

❌ To make this quick, this is almost exactly Pastel Memories, only every problem is just a little less extreme. It has fewer characters, it’s looking slightly better, there’s a tiny bit more going on, the setting is mildly more interesting. That still means it is:

❌❌ 1. A boring mess in which a handful of samey girls do nothing of much interest in a location that should be unique, but isn’t.

❌❌ 2. Conspicuously cheap. It even has the same sightline problems.

❌❌ 3. Featuring a character model sheet that is “off” even under the best circumstances. This time due to the very offputting decision to give everyone blobby triangular irises.

❌❌ Unlike Pastel Memories (which was an ad for a mobile game) this is an anime original, so it really has no excuse being this lame.

♎ I find it amusing that Pastel Palettes are providing the OP for an anime, and it’s not the one currently airing that they’re actually characters in.

Endro~!

What: Kiraralike comedy thing in a generic JRPG setting.

♎ Namori character designs, so it’s like Spyce in that it just seems like the Yuru Yuri cast cosplaying a genre. But hey, Namori character designs do look good.

❌ I’m not as done with generic JRPG settings as with generic isekai settings, but it’s still a real problem since the former is now a subset of the latter. Mildly making fun of it does not improve things much either.

✅ The tone is cutesy and pleasant. I find this much preferable to something like Mahoujin Guru Guru, which is pretty much the same thing but with abrasive, high-intensity slapstick instead.

✅ It’s backing that up with generally high-quality, agreeable pastel looks.

❌ Not being annoying is a start, but beyond that this seems very middle of the road and predictable. I don’t get much out of the genre “parody” and simply being cute is still not an unique selling point in anime.

Grimms Notes The Animation

What: Did someone say JRPG? This is a mobile one, vaguely based on fairy tales as the title implies.

✅ This universe runs on the idea that every NPC’s fate is controlled by a preset story they’re aware of. You could make a good story about that if you took it seriously. It even does that somewhat, but only to the degree that you’d expect from a throwaway sidequest in a moderately well-written JRPG.

❌ And the reason for that is that it has to make room for being a JRPG, of course. Read: It’s irritatingly mechanics- and combat-focused. Stuff like the characters changing form when in fights just seems overly complicated and adds nothing.

❌ Said combat looks competent, but not good enough to make up for detracting from what could have been an interesting setting. Merc Storia did this aspect far better (by usually not doing it at all).

❌ So it ends up being better than expected, but then that only amounts to a disappointment.

Kaguya-sama wa Kokurasetai / Kaguya-sama: Love Is War

What: Kaguya and Miyuki are in the student council of a prestigious school and HATE HATE HATE each other. Specifically, they hate the part where the other one won’t just finally admit their love.

✅ The joke here is that it’s operating on full intensity at all times, over the most simple matters. It’s pretty much Kaiji, only about dating - complete with hammy narrator. This is another one of those shows where I can’t say with certainty that it’s solid, but I had a blast during the first episode.

✅ Regarding Quintuplets, I made it clear that I love me some sparks in my romantic comedies. It doesn’t get much more explosive than this.

✅ The characters are comparable to Quints too: Smart scheming upstart vs. rich scheming ojou, with a simpleminded girl in the middle that ends up winning more often than not simply by not overdoing it.

✅ The visuals are just as over the top as the proceedings depicted. Occasionally a filter massacre, but mostly cool.

♎ The long-term viability of this show depend entirely on whether they can consistently come up with scenarios that work, which isn’t a given. Also, this is so intense it might become tiresome - I already felt some fatigue towards the end of the first episode. We’ll see, I guess.

Kakegurui ××

What: Some weirdos think they can crash the party at Hyakkaou with an intent to scare the daylights out of Yumeko and Midari, of all people. Let’s just say they were not as prepared as they thought.

✅ As you might have guessed by me watching the sequel, I liked Kakegurui. It has its problems, but if you’re down for some crazypants madness, this show delivers.

✅ This is one of the better episodes of it too, because it gets right into it and the game they play is dead simple. Kakegurui was never about smart moves or strong characters, so not having anything detract from our girls deriving the entirely wrong sort of pleasure from danger is a plus.

♎ Sadly, the OP is a step down (though still great) and the ED is simply an inferior, overcomplicated version of the magnificent original one. They seem to know this too, because they play the OP cut of Deal with the Devil in its entirety for a montage. The rest of the production is on par with the original though, so it’s fiiiine. Oh well.

❌ It got Netflix’d again and the subs situation is dire. Since this is one I actually like, I might have to wait for the official release.

Kouya no Kotobuki Hikoutai / The Magnificent Kotobuki

What: Piston-engined fighter plane pornography.

✅ This delivers where Girly Air Force failed: Close to zero exposition, the majority of the episode is just planes dogfighting with barely any talking either. And that part is executed really well. I think the plane startup sequence alone is as long as the total of Girly’s airtime.

✅ Guess what, it’s Tsutomu Mizushima, previously known for unbridled panzer (und girls) pornography, and boy can you tell. However, this cuts out a lot of GuP’s bullshit: A plane doesn’t have the cast of K-ON in it, it’s not over-the-top zany, and whatever this universe is, it can’t be as insipid as GuP’s. The classy milwank exists you guys, we found it.

✅✅ The music really helps here, sky pirates vs zeppelins just wouldn’t work without some classic swashbuckling orchestra background. Fat sound mixing on the dakka too. It’s great.

♎ Can’t really say much about the narrative because we kinda skipped that in this episode aside from the obvious, but Mizushima’s Shirobako collaborator Michiko Yokote is writing it, and that’s a good sign.

❌ Now we’re getting to the elephant in the room though: There’s no way the planes wouldn’t be CG in 2019, but the characters are CG too, and their animation is mediocre. Also, they did the KADO thing where they 2D-animated the side characters that aren’t important enough to model. This has the funny side effect that you can tell who’s going to die real soon by them looking better. It’s far from great, but probably a worthy tradeoff if the mechanical side is this extensive and also delivers.

✅ This is definitely not for everyone, since you have to have more than a casual appreciation for those magnificent girls in their flying machines. I do, though.

revisions

What: A chunk of Shibuya gets teleported to the dystopian future, local doomsday prepper gets handed a large robot because he’s special.

❌ A Goro Taniguchi joint being a poorly conceived scifi mess? Say it ain’t so! I especially dig the tryhard English jargon (mecha: “String Puppet”, monsters faction: “Revisions”, particular monster, I think?: “Civilian”, tacticool operetah: “Balancer”).

❌ Works very hard to characterize the main character, to the detriment of everyone else. A for effort, but you made an unlikeable asshole though.

❌ This is another full CG show, with the quality of the animation being curiously variable. Sometimes it’s well above average and sometimes it’s painful. There doesn’t seem to be much method to it.

✅ Tries to establish stakes by being mondo edgy and graphically murderizing some poor bystanders. It’s adorable.

❌ If you’re really jonesing for some mecha, you can watch all of this on Netflix right now. It’s not like you have any alte- wait, Egao no Daika has mecha too. Well there you go then. That’s a better show.

[fairycosmos]

i had four of my closest friends all in the first three months of 2017 completely drop me w no explanation. i spent the most of my last semester alone, always eating by myself and only really going to class and crying. it got better in summer but ive been back at school for a few days and i can already feel the sadness again esp bc everyone has people theyre excited to see again and its reminding me that i dont. anyway seeing u give advice is v comforting knowing that people are still v nice :)

:(((( what the fuck, i’m so so sorry??? that’s terrible,,,, you deserve so much more than friends that will just drop you like that for no fucking reason. i’m actually pissed off on your behalf. i’m really truly sorry you had to deal with that, holy fuck. being alone isn’t easy, and it can be painful at times, but it’s also something that we have to learn how to deal with. the only person you truly have is yourself, so there’s nothing wrong with just spending time on your own, you know? that being said, i understand that it must’ve been super painful to lose four friends that quickly and school can become a really shitty place when you have nobody. look, i don’t believe in fate or anything but when it comes to friendships/relationships, i believe that things happen the way they’re supposed to happen most of the time. if those people don’t appreciate you for all of the wonderful things that you are, then fuck them dude. you don’t need them, and there are so many people out there that will treat you with all of the love and respect that you deserve. 

try to remember that school is like a bubble. it’s almost like a fucking alternate reality, or something. the kids can be shitty and they can get in your head, they can twist your perception of life and everything into something negative even when it’s not. don’t let them change your opinion of you. don’t let what they think of you matter more than what you think of you. because seriously, once you leave you’re going to meet so many new and interesting people, golden people that will show you what true friendship is. in five years you’ll look back and it’ll all feel like some distant dream, it won’t even feel vaguely real. it’s a very very small chunk of your life, you know? like,,,,, you’re going to be okay even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. you really are.

this year might not turn out to be as bad as you think it’s going to be, you know? i understand that it’s hard to make new friends in school because everybody already has their group of people, but keep an open mind and try to be chill and friendly towards people (unless they give you a reason not to be). maybe join a group, whether it’s in school or out of school. like if you have any hobbies or interests, see if there’s anything in your town like a class or something and join up. having common ground with people is one of the best ways to make friends. and yeah, maybe that’s the last thing you want to do right now bc you’re so down, but isolating yourself even further isn’t going to achieve anything. you deserve so much more than that. you really do and i hope you know that what’s happened isn’t a reflection of you, it’s a reflection of those so called ‘friends’ you had. it says more about them than it says about you.

i hope you feel better soon and please just keep taking it one day at a time!! you’ve totally got this, i know you have. if you think it’d help, it might also be a good idea to talk to a counselor at school about what’s going on? ik you’re probably rolling your eyes n stuff but it’s actually not bad and they can truly help. just give it a try if things get really bad and see what it’s like. there’s so many options and so many avenues that offer help and support, i just hope you know that. even if you feel alone, you’re not. you’re just going through a difficult time right now. but it’s temporary. it’s going to pass, even if that’s hard to believe right now. also thank u sm i’m glad i was able to lift ur spirits a little, there are good people everywhere, don’t let four assholes change the way you see everything. they’re definitely not important enough to do that. please message me btw if you need someone to talk to or if you need a friend ! i mean it,,, i’d love to chat and i can really relate to what you’re dealing with and it’d be cool to be friends :)

[magalamantle]

HEY HERES some longass fucking shit!!!! about my settings for ocs for a p5 continuation/sequel/etc!!!!!!!!! just kind of. expanding on stuff i guess lol!!! the first one is the longest and the one im most interested in expanding on ideas for ocs on but anyway :Y

IDEA ONE:

'palaces': garden, zoo, restaurant, temple, courthouse, funhouse, bunker, garden, graveyard, safari, library, museum(not art gallery)

an emphasis not so much based on heists or stealing or treasure. instead the intention is to destroy the heart of it to reveal what the place "actually is". the whole intention becomes revelling in the large-scale destruction of different chunks of the bases, before eventually defeating the person at the heart of it.

not knowing the exact individual whose construct it is, has to infiltrate and work way into the place in order to follow clues - more like a detective than anything else.

characters access nav not through going to a specific location but via "dreams" - peeks into the human unconsciousness, cant really control when they go into or come out of constructs, are just kind of dropped in whichever location is selected in a list on the app before they sleep. therefore, players are lead into dungeons without fully knowing what theyre doing - theyre kind of placed into more of a mystery detective thing, trying to figure out why theyve been placed in each area, kind of what they have to do in order to escape cause like otherwise theyre placed in the area literally every night and cant do much about it lol. basically as long as theyre contributing (according to some unspoken rules) theyre fine in terms of sleep, but if they refuse to cooperate theyre basically sleepless, which really really impacts some of them until they end up basically having to act.

each area basically introduces a new playable character via waking a construct version of them in someone elses palace. like literally waking them up.  

it takes like the first full dungeon for them to register that it isnt just a weird same dream that theyre having and that like. the real person whose cognitive world they broke is affected, and in the wake of the whole "shadow thieves of hearts" thing its kind of terrifying because theyre like "oh god we destroyed that place what if weve killed someone" but it seems to have a different effect on individuals than previous, but its still. really weird.

eventually they kind of register that the worlds and people presented are getting bigger and scarier for them to have to deal with, and that its kind of like. training them??? especially since the targets theyre being given are getting more grey morally, and more just given to them because the task is just more difficult rather than more important.

anyway on their journey thats eventually mementos that they end up in when theres really no big mission for them to do, and they like explore it n shit. it feels totally different from the other worlds, cause its kind of this... weird mishmash? and as the plot continues theyre basically. kind of. its more or less revealed that this mementos isnt the general consciousness as the general consciousness of a select group of individuals - the people who basically set them up in this situation. individuals who used the research on the cognizant world to basically force the protagonists to do their dirty work - starting them with easy missions against people that they would agree with fighting against, and slowly working more into individuals that they wanted to get rid of, tying up loose ends, etc. basically training up a little army to get rid of people for them. this group thats controlling them isnt sending them into their mementos though, that would be a Higher Power

the uh. the group in this has a mascot thats a cute little cartoony puppy!!! that claims that theyre a wolf and cant remember how they got there etc etc. anyway basically it was made as a weird rude parody of morgana, and theyre pretty much a sleeper agent that kind of. gains consciousness as the team applies traits to it pretty much??? either way puppy is pretty much just the shadow council things way of calling the protagonists their dogs lol. something to sic on people they dont like.

IDEA TWO:

the palaces are all... literally different kinds of palaces: from different ages and aesthetics, but all definitely castles and mansions. includes roman palace, victorian mansion, funhouse/theme park castle, gothic mansion, classic medieval castle, etc

more of a kidnapping thing. have to find the master of the house/king/baron/etc and extracate them from the construct - whether a rescue or kidnapping depends on the particular target. this one features a pair of antagonists who only want to use the palaces' treasures for monetary gain - or at least it seems so at the start?? but its actually for a person theyre working for with the intention of studying the cognizant world in order to access the public conscience for what is essentially mass demoralization leading to global shutdown

this one in particular probably features the protags from p5 in a weird way, like. theyre all kind of younger adults in the city, doing stuff, and the new protags kind of interact with them and subtly try to figure stuff out about this whole world and everything about it from them.

IDEA THREE

more of an emphasis on the internet and incredible popularity therein - palaces are all based on internet sensations, big personalities who are secretly doing unsavory things. accessed through whatever website/social media whatever that they use the most.

PALACES in this world are based on VIDEO GAME TYPES. rpg, fps, puzzle games, etc etc etc. still in the kind of stealth, heist format of the actual. u kno. persona 5. but the aesthetics and enemy styles, dungeon setups, etc, npcs/cognitive humans etc are all based on the respective video game type. IMPORTANT: theres a rogue person wandering into peoples cognitive worlds who considers it all genuinely a game, has fun "competing" with the players team to get to the "end boss" first. unfortunately his aim is always outright to kill the boss lol. playable characters' outfits in the palaces change to fit the video game, but follow a general theme for each character.

the way that palaces are accessed more or less through the internet opens up possibilities about the new protags meeting through exclusively the palaces, not knowing each other in real life, etc.

every world contains a specific npc that sort of guides them around n stuff. its literally just akechi. like thats just him. still young. hes just there, in a shitty prince outfit or equivalent, and my excuse is that 1. he die in a really weird way in a really weird place and 2. as an incredibly public figure that was so prevalent in the publics eyes their perception of him kind of kept him floatin around in the sea of human etc etc etc. it might not be FULLY him but hes definitely. there. thats definitely just him standing there, telling them about game stuff. weird af.

[remastered-feedback]

Well I know I said I wouldn’t be online at all today but curiosity got the better of me so here I am. For that matter, here you are, too.

Lets recap:

Lewd stuff is still allowed in the sense that accounts that are posting it are allowed to continue existing. So, someone like me who keeps their blog pretty much SFW and has a sideblog for nothing but recording and keeping track of NSFW stuff they like but doesn’t actually post any original lewd content, especially on their main blog, is “fine.”

While lewd stuff is allowed, the people making it essentially are not. Flagged blogs no longer show up in searches - they haven’t for a while - no longer have an icon, are no longer viewable on their own page, viewable via links, essentially it’s impossible to get any new followers or views if your blog is NSFW. So, while you are not explicitly banned, you are for all intents and purposes marooned with a now-useless account, as it is now borderline impossible to interact with followers or have anyone view your page.

These observations are from running a SFW blog with a NSFW sideblog. I don’t know what happens if you have a NSFW main blog, they might censor and shadowban all of your blogs. I don’t know. That’s pure speculation on my part.

This is probably so tumblr can get rid of content they don’t want to have, without damaging their userbase statistics by actually deleting anyone. Dead, inactive accounts are still accounts that make you look popular to advertisers after all. If you have a million accounts but 500,000 are inactive, you can still say you have a seven-figure userbase as long as you don’t say anything about activity.

This is probably part of why they don’t actually want to deal with the pornbots either, because lets be honest, they probably make up a very hefty chunk of their total user numbers, and nobody wants to explain to the Big Boss Upstairs why they just lost 20% of their users.

Looking at the folks on my dashboard who’ve been shadowbanned, the margin for it is extremely thin. There are a lot of people who’ve posted maybe a dozen NSFW posts all year, and otherwise have been pretty much SFW barring foul language, who have been hit. Basically, unless you’re squeaky clean, you’re fucked.

For the furry community there’s a really weird gray area, because “nudity found in art, specifically sculptures and illustrations” is fine according to them, but “photorealistic imagery or photography – images, videos, or GIFs – with real humans that include exposed genitals or female-presenting nipples or depict sex acts” is not allowed. I’m pretty sure nobody would argue that furry smut is photorealistic, and it certainly falls more in “illustrations” than “photography”, but they never make any mention of sex acts depicted in illustrations. Looking at some of the artists I follow who’ve been shadowbanned - and knowing how the morons at Yahoo and Verizon operate - I think it’s safe to assume that they’re going to err on the side of puritanism.

They outright admit their tagging tools suck and are getting a lot of false positives. They claim it’s going to improve. Given their track record, I doubt that. You should probably doubt that too.

[f3v3rw0lf]

1/3/2017

I was looking back through my old blog and I don't recognize that person. it sort of feels like he died, like he slowed and then stopped, and no one noticed. I'm just tired and sick of everything, except for when I feel so good I can't even remember how it feels to be down, just that I have been and that i need to stay away from bridges. I don't want to kill myself, except in a roundabout way where I really, really do. this all sounds dramatic but it doesn't feel that dire in the physical world; I have a lot of good times. I have a lot to do, places to go, people to pretend to be, times when I can shine and everyone has their hands on me and even when things are bad theyre still good, because I'm in them, and I'm alive. I tried to nap today, but then I woke up too soon and ate like shit and now I just feel bad. I want to go out and skate but its freezing, and I'm forcing myself to rest. I want to have energy to go out and do everything, but again, I feel so damn inhuman. I'm not real, I'm just, something that absorbs and wastes and does nothing. I cant fix this feeling except to sleep it off and do better later, but I cant fall asleep.

I feel bad because I feel bad, but its not as dire as everyone else. i cant tell anyone. i don't want anyone to know how weak i am, how i cant deal with what is basically little bullshit. i know everyone says that, no one thinks their shit is that bad, but honestly. I'm just not consistently bad in physical ways (i self harm every few months, i eat irregularly, never enough to actually impact the way others see me. none of it stays long enough to become obvious, none of its dire, none of its real, you get me?)

anyway

ever since i stopped going on tumblr i got my name changed (unfinished business: they misspelled my middle name and i still have to notifiy every official who owns a chunk of my soul) started T (stress source: i haven't been hit with the bill/insurance is a mess and I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop) had two jobs (made my savings goal) met a wonderful amount of good and creative humans, sold my first short story (holy FUCK guys) and probably a fuckton of stuff i cant remember now. its been busy. ive been living, its been good, it just doesn't feel sustainable?

I miss the attention i used to get from tumblr, and I'm disappointed that no one noticed or cared that i stopped getting online, that i stopped posting. i don't have the energy or the will to go back on that blog. if it weren't for the people i know here (lights mainly tbh. some dream pack kids I'm #crushin on) id just delete. i don't really want to remember that kid who had that blog, who was so fucking stupid and so wasteful, i don't want to stare at the screen for hours and hours waiting for someone to interact with me. i don't want to be constantly reminded of how bad i am at interacting, of how stupid and rude and condescending i sound.

i need to work on being better at that, at giving more, at reaching out more. i want to so much, i just want to be around and to talk easily with all these fucking awesome, creative people. i want to be able to find the words to tell them how wonderful i think they are, how inspiring. i want to be able to tell them how their work and the people they are touch my heart and how just, how fucking cool i find the things they do. i want to be able to tell them without making it about me, without making it weird or putting pressure on them. i want them to know i really really fucking mean it. ill work on it.