#(and it was considered lost media but my friend randomly found it however it’s still not translated)

[no1ryomafan]

I love how I have at least 4 wip fics in my docs for getter rn-two are finished but need revisions, the other two aren’t finished-and even though I posted in this tag this month moving forward I should at least focus on finishing most of them especially since one of them was supposed to be a Halloween fic and is a au idea I want to unleash even if it’s not gonna get shit for awhile/if ever but yknow what my fucking brain wants me to write? Ryoma in jail. Even though I don’t have a finalized fucking concept so I don’t know what my BRAIN WANTS.

[j0hnj4ej3n]

fate brought you home to me

soulmate!jaemin x fem!reader (part 1!!)

click here for part 2 !!

word count: 4.8k

warnings: slight angst 

note: i just had this idea randomly one day, i’m sorry if its not good but yes i still hope you enjoy reading it !!

Everyone has someone who is made for them in this world - soulmates. Some soulmates do find each other, they fall in love and live happily ever after. However, some people aren’t so lucky. Some soulmates end up falling out, some don’t ever find their other half and some merely don’t believe in soulmates. 

Every child receives their soulmate notebook as a way to communicate with their other half. It starts out as a plain, white, covered notebook, until one of the pair writes in it. That’s when unique designs start to appear on the cover. Whatever is written in one notebook will appear in the other and vice versa. That way, soulmates might get to find each other one day. At least, that’s what’s supposed to happen. 

Jaemin just turned five when he received his notebook. When his parents explained what it was used for, young Jaemin was excited to find out who his soulmate and new friend would be. As an only child, Jaemin found himself feeling rather lonely at times. He only had a few friends at childcare and was alone most of the time. 

That night before he went to bed, Jaemin took out his colourful markers and decided to write a message for his soulmate. In his best efforts to make his words neat and pretty, he wrote, “Hello soulmate! My name is Na Jaemin but you can call me NANA! I am 5 years old now, I hope we can be friends!” He finished off by drawing pink hearts and flowers around his message with a cute little bunny on the bottom right of the page. He looked at his finished product and smiled proudly before closing the notebook. He gasped as he witnessed the previously white cover turning baby pink and a pretty drawing of a fountain appeared on the center of the cover. With that, Jaemin placed his notebook carefully in his drawer beside his bed before tucking into bed and made a silent promise to himself and his soulmate that he was going to protect this notebook with his life. 

You were six when your mother presented you with a baby pink notebook that had a pretty white fountain on the front cover. “This is your soulmate notebook and by the looks of it, they already wrote in it,” she said as she handed it to you. You looked at her in confusion, “What’s a soulmate?” you asked as you flipped open the notebook, and you noticed how the first few pages were filled up. Your mum slowly explained to you the concept of what a soulmate is and when she left you alone in the living room as she went to prepare dinner, you read what a particular boy named Na Jaemin wrote in the few first pages of your notebook. 

“Hello soulmate! I do not know your name yet so I can only call you soulmate for now. How old are you? What colour do you like? I hope you will write back to me soon! Have a sweet dream tonight! - NANA” 

“Hello soulmate, it has been a few months. My mum says that maybe you do not have your notebook yet, that is why you have not written back. I hope you get it soon, so that we can be friends! Goodnight soulmate! - NANA”

“Hi soulmate, it has been a year since I wrote to you. It is my birthday again, I am 6 years old now. Sorry I did not write to you for so long, I sometimes forget about the notebook. For my birthday, I wished that you would write back to me. I hope it will come true soon. Goodnight. - NANA” 

“Hi, have you gotten your notebook yet? Today is my birthday again, I am 7 now. I have a best friend now, his name is Jeno. But other than him, I still do not have many friends so I am feeling quite lonely. I wished for you to write back to me again this year. But I think it won’t happen so soon. - Jaemin” 

You realised how with each page, his pages got less colourful and were no longer decorated with drawings. You understood how it feels to be lonely as you too didn’t have any siblings. You felt a little sad because he said he felt lonely and so you wrote him back right after you finished reading his messages. You took out your colour pencils and scribbled away. 

“Hello Jaemin! I am y/n and I am 6 years old this year. I only got my notebook today, I am sorry that I did not write back. I want to be friends too! I like the colour pink, what about you? Happy birthday Jaemin, I will be your friend now so the two of us will not be lonely anymore. Talk to you soon! - Y/N” 

That night, Jaemin flipped open his notebook, expecting no replies from his soulmate again. He was getting used to being disappointed with the lack of replies but still, he checked it every night out of habit. That’s when he flipped to the new page and realised that there was another message written in blue colour pencil and a drawing of a stick boy and stick girl holding hands. He stared at the page, frozen with both shock and a wave of happiness. “M-mum! She wrote back, SHE FINALLY WROTE BACK!” Jaemin shouted as he ran out of his room to the living room to show his mum the newly filled page. 

He held it with both hands, proudly showing it to his mum as he jumped up and down. They read the message together and right before bed, Jaemin wrote back to you excitedly. That night, he went to sleep with the biggest smile on his face. 

Since then, you two wrote back and forth to each other and got to know each other more and more. You learned that Jaemin liked pink too, his favourite animals were bunnies and samoyeds (he said he couldn’t decide) and that he liked strawberry but doesn’t like strawberry flavoured food. 

He learned about how much you liked baking with your mum and how you liked bunnies too but have a fear of dogs. He also learned that you sadly don’t live in Seoul like he does. That however, didn’t stop him from inviting you to his 10th birthday party. If anything, you would consider Jaemin your best friend, you’ve been writing to him for 3 years now and other than your mum, he knows you best. 

It was obvious how you couldn’t attend his party but you still wished him a happy birthday that day. “Happy Birthday NANA!! I’m sorry I couldn’t be at your party but I hope you have the best day today. I truly hope we get to meet one day, maybe when we’re older, then we can celebrate our birthdays together. Fun fact! I’m moving to a new apartment soon, I’m quite excited to move. Sadly, it isn’t any closer to Seoul. If I get to go to Seoul one day, we should meet up. Anyways, I have to go, Happy Birthday again NANA! <3 - Y/N”

He wrote back telling you he had a blast and that he understood that you couldn’t make it. He went on to tell you how much fun he had at his party and how you two should definitely meet one day. That day when he blew out the candles, he wished that he could meet you soon. 

A few months later, in November, you finally moved to your new apartment. You didn’t get to write to Jaemin for two nights because you had your notebook kept in one of the moving boxes but you promised him you would write to him again once you unpacked. After unpacking everything however, you couldn’t find your notebook anywhere. You panicked and even asked your mum to help you search for it. “I’m sorry honey, maybe you left it at the old place. Or it got lost somewhere. We’ve searched everywhere,” she told you as tears brimmed in your eyes. That night, you cried in your mother’s arms, extremely devastated over how you might never get to talk to your soulmate again. 

Weeks after your last message, Jaemin still checked every night to see if you��ve written back. Months and years have slowly gone by with no sign of you writing back. He still continued writing, telling you bits and pieces of his life. He got his first phone when he turned 12, the first thing he did was to try to find you on social media. Anything to try to contact you again, after all you were his soulmate and your sudden disappearance left a void in his heart. However, with less hope and a lack of any response from you, he slowly stopped searching online and his messages also got evidently lesser. Yet, every birthday from then on, he continued to wish for you to write back again.  

It’s been years since you last saw that pretty baby pink notebook you loved so much. You’re eighteen now and have finally (and thankfully) graduated with good grades. You’ve always dreamt of moving to Seoul to attend university there and after much consideration, your mum gave you the green light. 

You’re leaving for Seoul in 3 days and you were going to live with your aunt throughout your stay there. It was 1 in the afternoon and you and your mum were rushing about trying to pack whatever you need for at least the first semester of school. You were putting your coats and sweaters into one of the cardboard boxes since it's still pretty cold in Seoul and you wouldn’t want to catch a cold and miss any lectures. 

“Here, I found some notebooks in a box in the storage room, I totally forgot the box was there. Maybe there’s some of them that you can still use so you don’t have to spend too much on stationery,” your mum then plotted a stack of notebooks on the space beside you as she continued to run around trying to make sure you have everything you need. 

After sealing the box filled with your coats and sweaters, you turned your attention to the stack of notebooks next to you. That’s when an oddly familiar baby pink one caught your eye among the stack. You quickly took the two other notebooks off the stack and was face to face with the pretty baby pink cover and the fountain planted right in the middle. You let out a chuckle in disbelief, repeatedly saying “Oh my God” as you picked the notebook up and scrambled to your feet. 

“Mummy! It’s here, it was here all along,” you ran to your mother who was in your room, packing more of your things into a box. The two of you shared your excitement as you sat on your bed and started reading your past messages you shared with Jaemin. You came across the last message you wrote to Jaemin, the one before you moved and ‘lost’ the book. Suddenly, you felt a little anxious to flip to the next page, you started feeling that same guilt you felt when you first lost your book. You always wondered how Jaemin took your sudden ‘disappearance’, he must have been so sad or maybe he got angry at you. So you closed the book before you could find out and decided that you would wait till you’re done packing before you continue reading. 

Throughout the next 2 days, you finished up the last of your packing, with everything you needed placed at the back of your mum’s car, you were ready to go to Seoul. Tonight would be your last night at home and that baby pink book that stayed untouched on your bedside table was calling out to you. So after washing up and before going to bed you finally picked it up. 

You remember how much you wanted to get a phone so that maybe, just maybe you could find Jaemin somewhere on SNS. But when your mum finally got you a phone, it seemed hopeless trying to find him on social media platforms. The number of people named Jaemin and for all you know, he might not have put his name as his username. Soon, you gave up trying to find him, believing that if the two of you were truly soulmates, fate will bring you two back together again. 

Yet here you are, fate finally giving you the chance to reconnect with the boy who would cloud your thoughts late at night every now and then and you’re too nervous to even flip beyond your last message. 

“Stop being such a wuss y/n, what are you so afraid of?” you scolded yourself, really though, what are you so afraid of? Jaemin would never get mad at you, he was always so sweet and understanding. You lost your notebook, it’s not like you didn’t want to reply to him on purpose right? He would understand, he’s your soulmate after all, he wouldn’t blame you, right? 

You took a deep breath before finally turning the page. 

“HI Y/N!! It’s been about a week, have you moved to your new place? It must be really pretty, just like you! I don’t know why you haven’t been writing back but my mum says you’re probably still busy with unpacking. I miss you y/n, write me back once you see this! - NANA <3”

“Hi y/n, how have you been? It’s been months, are you okay? Did something happen? I really hope you’re okay, I just really miss you. The new school year started and I’m really enjoying going to school with Jeno. We joined the basketball club but Jeno is a lot better than I am haha, I’ll still try my best though. We also made a new friend, his name is Donghyuck! You must be enjoying school too, I hope you have many many friends so you won’t be lonely. Just hoping that you’ll write back to me soon, I miss talking to you y/n. Have a goodnight, sweet dreams~ - NANA <3”

“Happy Birthday y/n! I hope you had a good day, you’re 10 now! I wrote again to wish you but saw that you still haven’t written back. I’m asking for a mobile phone so that I might find you maybe online, I’ll give you my number then. Have a good birthday y/n, I hope you’ll always be happy and healthy! Please write back to me soon, you didn’t forget me did you? - NANA <3”

“Hi y/n, I just turned 11 today, Jeno, Donghyuck and I went out to eat and played at the arcade. I had a really good day, it would have been better if you wrote back to me though :( What happened? Where did you suddenly disappear to? I still don’t have a phone yet, my mum bought me new basketball shoes instead and they're really cool too! Wishing you would write back to me soon, goodnight y/n. - NANA :)”

“Hey, it’s my birthday again, I’m 12 now. Sorry I forgot to wish you a happy birthday this year. I’ve always been busy with basketball after school, we’re graduating and going to middle school soon. Jeno, Hyuck and I are planning to go to the same school, the one closest to our homes. I’m thinking of stopping basketball and joining volleyball though, what do you think? Should I go for it? I don’t know why I still write here, you haven’t replied in forever but I got a phone for my birthday this year! 0XX-XXXX-XXXX here’s my number, if you ever see this you can text me or something. Have a goodnight y/n. - NANA”

“So, I did change to joining the Volleyball club, this feels more me, can’t really explain why. I still can’t seem to find you online anywhere. I’m 13 now, school is pretty fun I guess. There was this new transfered student from China today, his name is Renjun and he stays really near Hyuck, now there’s 4 of us. Anyways, I hope you’re doing fine, maybe you actually lost the notebook. How am I ever going to reach you then? Jeno and Hyuck have already met their soulmates, we haven’t really asked Renjun about this yet. Hoping I’ll get to meet you one day. Goodnight. - Jaemin”

“Hey, it’s been a long while since I wrote to you. My family moved so I live nearer to where my future school is but that’s a little far away from my friends. It’s fine though, we all still go to the same highschool so I still see them regularly. I was putting away all my stuff while unpacking and decided to write to you again. You must have started high school too, since I’m already graduating soon. I got a scholarship from my dream university because of volleyball, that’s pretty cool right? Anyways, I see you haven’t replied. Still, I hope you’re living well. - Jaemin” 

“I turn 20 in a few days. For the last time in the past 10 years, I’ll be wishing for you to write to me.” 

There was a pang in your heart as you read the last message Jaemin wrote to you. His 20th birthday had already passed and he hadn’t written to you since then. Has he really given up waiting for you? You wouldn’t blame him though, he’s been waiting for years. But he still is your soulmate and the thought of him not being a part of your life anymore hurts, even if you’ve never met him before. Soulmates are still connected to each other some way, somehow, but would it be too late for you to write back now? 

Then you remember that he left his phone number for you. Even though it was from years back, it was worth a shot… right? You quickly unplugged your phone from the charger and saved his contact into your phone. Now you’re just staring at his contact on your phone, tempted to press the call button, curious to know if the owner of the number was still Jaemin. 

Seeing that it was already almost 1am,  you decided that you should go to bed soon since you’re moving to Seoul in a few hours. So you stopped yourself from calling the number and decided that texting him would be the more logical way right now. With nervous hands, you started typing. 

“Is this Jaemin? I’m y/n… your soulmate, do you remember me? Sorry I’m only reaching out to you now, when I moved years back, I really couldn’t find my notebook so I couldn’t write to you. I’m so so so sorry, I hope you’re not mad. I’m sorry you waited for so long-” you realised you were rambling and you sound so… weird and definitely uncool. So you backspaced everything and settled for a simpler text. 

1:15am - hi, is this jaemin? -

You continued charging your phone after that and quickly went to bed, letting your mind be filled with the thoughts of your soulmate until you were too tired and fell asleep. 

It was a Saturday morning and Jaemin woke up to his alarm promptly at 6:30am, like every other weekend morning. He remembered listening to music after bathing and drying his hair, the training from that evening causing his eyelids to feel heavy. Now, he was sitting on his bed, his hair messy as he rubbed his tired eyes awake. On the bed beside his own, Jeno stirred in his sleep, “Get up, let’s go for a ride before it gets too sunny,” Jaemin said as he pulled Jeno’s comforter off him before walking to the toilet to freshen up and change into appropriate attire for their weekly morning cycle. 

After Jaemin’s family moved closer to the university to make it easier for him to commute to and from school, he ended up moving into the school’s dormitory with Jeno. It was more convenient for the two student athletes too, since training was so tough at times, it was just easier to walk 10 minutes back to the dorm instead of taking the bus 20 mins home. But it was comforting to know that home and family are nearby. 

After changing, he exited the bathroom as Jeno entered sleepily while mumbling a tired “good morning”. Jaemin greeted him back before heading to the kitchen to heat up the sandwich they got from the school cafeteria yesterday for breakfast for the two of them. After they finished breakfast, they took their helmets, put on their shoes and were ready to go downstairs to get their bicycles from the parking area. 

They were about to enter the lift when Jaemin suddenly noticed the lack of weight in his pockets, “Ah, Jeno, hold on a sec. I forgot my phone,” he said as he walked back towards their dorm. “Some things just never change… Jaemin, hurry UP.” Jeno grumbled and eventually shouted from inside the lift, frustrated despite being used to Jaemin’s forgetfulness. 

“Alright, alright, I’m back don’t need to shout my dear Jeno,” Jaemin said as he walked into the lift, eyes frowning slightly at the message notification on his phone screen. “Hey, do you recognise this number? I got a text from it but it’s not someone from my contacts,” he asked Jeno as they were walking towards their bicycles. Jeno took a look at the number and shook his head, “Nope, but whoever that is seems to already know you.” 

It wouldn’t hurt to reply anyways, so he did quickly before putting his phone away and unlocking his bicycle from it’s parked spot. 

You were moving the last of your things to your aunt’s house with both your aunt and your cousin, Jisung’s help. You had a pretty tearful goodbye with your mum this morning when your aunt and cousin came to pick you up but she had things to settle at work so she couldn’t help you move. It’ll be another 3 months till your mum has free time to come to Seoul to see you so you couldn’t help but feel sad and slightly scared to live away from the woman you have seen everyday of your life. 

“There’s the last one, man… Why do you have so many boxes anyway?” Jisung complained as he placed the box on your new bedroom floor with a thud. It was a pretty room, a little bigger than yours back home. They were kind enough to have bought a new study table and cardboard just for you and you were grateful overall that they would offer you a place to stay, although your aunt claims that it’s nothing you can’t help but feel bad because she had to prepare so much just for you to move in with her. 

“I’m staying here for a few years Jisung, not a sleepover, am I supposed to just bring 5 pieces of clothes? But thanks for helping me move little guy,” you replied to his question as you tiptoed to ruffle his hair. “Me? Little? I can barely hear you from up here shortie,” he said as he swatted your hand away for messing up his hair. You punched his arm for calling you ‘shortie’ as he laughed at your offended expression. 

You spent the day unpacking and barely touched your phone. Truthfully, you were busy from unpacking but a part of you avoided checking your phone because you were nervous to see if Jaemin replied - or if it was Jaemin at all. You finally finished unpacking with the help of Jisung and his height, you placed the baby pink notebook carefully on your study table, beside your laptop. 

You took a quick bath and finally sat on your bed letting your muscles relax after the long day. You remembered how your mum told you to call her before you went to sleep so you took your phone from its spot on your study table and was going to call your mum when you saw that Jaemin replied to you. You literally froze upon seeing his name on your screen and your heart was on the verge of exploding after reading his reply. 

6:50am - hey yea it’s jaemin here, who’s this? -

You wanted to cry, out of happiness? Or maybe it was from how nervous you were to reply to him. What if he actually is mad at you? Or maybe he didn’t want to talk to you anymore? But you wouldn’t know until you try right? 

8:13pm - hey, it’s y/n here. - 

8:15pm - after i moved, i really couldn’t find the notebook so i couldn’t write back to you. i found it while i was packing for Seoul a few days ago, i’m so sorry for making you wait so long and you’re probably mad at me but i’m really so so sorry :( anyways, i hope you're doing well jaemin -

Upon clicking send, you threw your phone on the bed, afraid of his response; if he even decides to reply to you. So you sat there two feet away from your phone, like an absolute idiot, staring at your black screen. Two minutes went past and he hasn’t replied, you wondered if he has even read it yet. Five more minutes later, you started to get impatient as you frowned at your still black screen. You sighed and decided to head downstairs to use the house phone to call your mum instead, since that was what you intended to do before you got distracted. 

Jaemin was doing some research for his assignment while eating his favourite brand of cup noodles. He was reading some article as he picked up the cup of noodles, slurping away when his phone lit up with a ‘ding!’. While chewing, he picked his phone up and unlocked it to read the text. 

When he read the messages on his screen, he gasped, forgetting how much food he had in his mouth and ended up choking. He coughed repeatedly and quickly grabbed the coffee on the table to drink in order for him to calm down. “Are you okay? What happened?” Jeno asked, looking up from his phone after hearing Jaemin cough. He got up from his bed to pat Jaemin on the back, trying to make sure his friend doesn’t choke to death. 

After Jaemin stopped coughing, he turned to Jeno and shoved his phone into his hands. Jeno’s eyes widened as he read the message over again before looking at Jaemin who was staring back at him. This unspoken excitement evident in the air, “W-what are you waiting for? Reply her,” Jeno shoved the phone back into Jaemin’s hand, Jaemin’s assignment long forgotten. 

“I don’t know what to say, I haven’t talked to her in like… forever” Jaemin said as his leg bounced up and down, he never imagined this day would come. Every birthday wish, every 11:11 spent on you and you finally returned to his life. Finally. But now, his mind’s a blank and he doesn’t know where to begin. 

“Maybe start by telling her you’re not mad? She seems to feel really bad,” Jeno said and Jaemin nodded, unable to really speak after being so emotionally overwhelmed. You’re his soulmate, he couldn’t even find it in him to be mad at you. He’s just glad fate has finally brought you back to him. 

After talking to your mum on the phone and eating ice cream with Jisung in the living room you go back upstairs to your room. You finally pick up your phone to see if Jaemin replied, you took a deep breath as you unlocked your phone to see that your message app has a small number 2 at the top right hand corner. You clicked on it and Jaemin’s message appeared on your screen. 

8:31pm - no no, i’m not mad at you. but wow it’s been so long, i’m doing great and i hope you are too. - 

8:33pm - are you already in Seoul? do you maybe want to meet up? to just catch up and stuff :) -

You felt relief wash over you when you saw that he wasn’t mad. You’re glad, you wouldn’t have known what to do if he was actually mad at you. Even after waiting for so long, he didn’t hold it against you. Being able to reconnect with him after so long brings you a sort of warmth you can’t quite describe. 

8:45pm - i just got here today and yes, i would love to finally meet you -

[studentville-struggles]

A Double Life

Chapter 3

A self-indulgent Daniel Ricciardo fic.

Summary: Returning to old passions results in the start of chaos and living a double life. We say we hate chaos, but the thrill is unlike anything else.

Words: 1,575 (short im sorry - its a filler really)

Masterlist / Part 1/ Part 2

The reception to your hot lap was incredible. The reception to season one of your show was even wilder. You couldn’t quite believe that people actually wanted to watch you live your life. It was a weird life, you’d give them that, but you wanted to drive, and you also didn’t want to let your supervisors down, so this life was the one you would live. You were lucky enough, and you knew there was a lot of luck (and money) involved, to have the most supportive driving teams, drivers’ academy and university. If even one of them decided it wasn’t worth it, or that it was too much hassle, all of your dreams would come crashing down around you.  

People pleasing was very much the name of the game.  

Your following on social media also increased significantly – which you expected considering there’s more TV coverage for F2 than F3, but this seemed more than normal for an F2 driver. People wanting immediate update on what was going on in your life, wanting to follow on from what was seen on the show.  

In an attempt to keep driving life from your uni life, you had been posting more and more on your ‘drivers instagram’ which you had started when you got the opportunity to go testing. What had started as a space for you to spam your ‘omg im back in a racing suit yay’ posts, soon became full of official team and racing pictures and slowly but surely has become your main professional ‘driver Rachel’ instagram. It also meant that you neglected your old account and so many of your friends didn’t technically follow you anymore. Not helpful in them knowing what you were up to.

You had rarely tweeted (you didn’t know what to tweet about and honestly it felt weird) but you had gained tens of thousands of followers almost overnight. Your friends thought it was hilarious. Lewis was right there to help you freak out about and learn to ignore the negativity such a platform brings in. A surprising amount of people had an issue with you coming back to racing and not having been driving for your entire life.

Life at home was as busy as normal, you were in the routine of 5am starts and 16hour days but you honestly couldn’t wait for the race weekends – the small respite that it allowed. For most drivers, race weekends meant early mornings and an intense schedule. For you it was relief. You considered the 7am wakeup calls a glorious lie-in, and if you were truly honest, you were almost bored in the evenings with nothing to do. Although you had taken to writing papers and collating notes in the emptier evenings.  

You were growing into a real adult you thought. You might only be 22 but you could hold your own in a corporate setting. You’d done enough presentations to your research group, as well as at the occasional conference to deal with hard, complicated and irrelevant questions. A skill Lewis often claimed he wished he’d learned earlier in his career. The two of you were different than other drivers. He was the first black driver in formula one and you had hopes of being the first female driver in formula one for years. My god and if you could score points, you’d be the first women to do so in over 40 years. If you even made it into formula one.  

You’d been approached by a couple of people about testing or going for ‘a chat’. Not all of them followed up with you, and you had a feeling it would be purely miraculous if you even got to test an F1 car. Maybe if you could jump up to third in the standings, you’d be within a shot. After all there had been three rookie drivers only a year ago.  

You were currently sat in fourth place in the F2 standings. Frustrating with how close you had been to improving that score even further in a few races, but still incredibly strong for a rookie year. The rookie luck seemed to be following you everywhere, not that you minded. Some people claimed it was purely ‘beginners' luck’ and that you would crash and burn soon enough, others had a far more favourable explanation. You were lucky enough to have people supporting your racing and a fair few of them, who had seen your show, were adamant that your dedication to a strict and somewhat extreme lifestyle, was the reason for your success. You read these uplifting comments, shunning the trolls, saying that you committed to both a stressful academic course and a stressful motorsport career, you arguably worked harder than half the drivers on the grid. You agreed that you worked hard and were perpetually stressed about your to do list, but you could never say you worked harder than other drivers. You merely worked at different times, weirder times.  

As the season progressed you reaped the rewards of your hard work, with the odd experience bringing you back to reality. A few race wins combined with a DNF brought you into 3rd place as the season end drew near.

You were feeling great, fighting fit and looking to finish the season on a high. Abu Dhabi was new tracks for you so you wanted to make your penultimate race in Sochi count as much as possible, not wanting the unfamiliarity of Abu Dhabi to throw you off. You’d sat with the team management and your engineers, done the math and you knew what you needed to do to maintain your third place standings. You calculated whether a second place finish was possible, which although unlikely, it was doable with some outstanding results.

By now your camera crew were your biggest cheerleaders trackside, beside your parents of course, perhaps a side effect of the amount of time spent together. Upon discovering a second place finish was technically possible, had lost the majority of their decorum and were hyping you up no end about it. Secretly you loved it, though it also added to the pressure you felt.

People often thought you were exaggerating how close you were to your team, but you honestly loved them all. You spent every day with them, from walking into university with them, to travelling to test days and Grand Prix's with them.  

The off-weeks before the end of season, had been planned with an abundance of lab time and note taking, allowing for the final weeks of the season to be nearly fully focused on racing. Well as close as was possible for you to allow full focus on racing. As you were far too aware of now, plans are rarely stuck to, and you found yourself on a mid week road trip from university to Woking. You’d had a series of calls and were subsequently invited down for discussion surrounding a drivers spot with McLaren. Apparently Carlos’ contract was up and he had accepted an external offer.

Excitement would never be the right word, but it was as close as you could convey.

Lando Norris was everything you expected him to be and more. McLaren had the whole teammate situation under control and the ‘perks’ of working for them were more than your entire life had been previously working towards. Your manager okayed the contract and your formula 2 team were stoked to see you progress once more. Your presence in motorsport was sudden and it was making waves.

---

The announcement of your confirmed contract with McLaren for the next season came as you were busy getting dolled up for the end of season gala. All the drivers, from both F1 and F2, would get together at the end of the season to go all out, have fun and hopefully repair a few friendships the competitiveness may have ruined within the season. It was also one of the first opportunities to get black out drunk for a while. So there was that too.

With both the F1 and F2 seasons ending at the same time, it was handy for you to say goodbye to your team mate for the year, as well as the rest of the drivers you’d been competing against. It wasn’t that you wouldn’t see them again, you just wouldn’t be seeing them so constantly next year. The gala also gave you the opportunity to spend some time with your new team mate, Lando Norris, and suss out some of the other drivers.  

Lewis had obviously been teasing you about seeing Ricciardo again, having successfully avoided him since your hot lap. Though he did randomly follow you on instagram a couple weeks back. Weird. You weren’t sure what to make of him now. He had always come across well in the media, perfectly charming and unfairly attractive; a fact you didn’t dare say out loud. However, when you had met him that day, he’d seemed almost arrogant and well, you didn’t stay to find out what else.  

You felt a little guilty. He had made assumptions about you based on his experiences at races, and you had in turn made assumptions about him. Should you have tried to get to know him better? He did compliment your drive in the end. Perhaps the gala was an opportunity to set things straight; he can see you as a driver and you can see what he is really like.  

[blastoisemonster]

Kodomo No Omocha’s Sticker Album Highlights (Merlin, 2001, Italian)

Let's keep talking about retro japanese cartoons, shall we? I've done some posts lately in which I reviewed Game Boy games based on comics or animations from Japan, with the intention of covering series that I either used to watch as a kid or recall being popular during the GB and GBC eras. A lot of these games have never been released outside Japan, so it's also an occasion to gather up some imports and see what Italy has missed on. There's actually a particular cartoon I wanted to talk about since the start of this research, but unfortunately it seems it has never recieved any videogame adaptation. But hey, this is my blog, and I can talk about whatever I want! >:C Also I suddenly remembered my Fandom tag has been created purposely for non-gaming objects. >.> So, let's look at some stickers while I tell you the tale of Rossana.

Rossana can be best described as the soap opera that spawned a second wave of nipponic hysteria among every single italian person under 20 during the very last period of the 90s. It's like The Bold And The Beautiful looked at Pokèmon and said "yeah, I want something like that.". Its popularity hit even harder my personal view of the world as the plot starts with the protagonists attending the last year of elementary school... which is exactly what me and my friends were doing, multiplying the relatable factor tenfold. This cartoon took everyone by their necks since its first episode: it was broadcasted on what was, at the time, the best and most popular italian channel for children entertainment, and heavily advertised before starting, so we knew exactly when to tune in to catch it. The day after the first episode, school looked like a different place. Everyone in class was chanting the opening at the top of their lungs; boys were acting like the male protagonists, all girls mimicked the main role Rossana, the more artisticly inclined ones started doodling the characters anywhere possible, including textbooks and homework. Teachers were in tears. I had watched the first episode and found it amusing enough to keep me entertained, so for some period I fully partecipated in the general enjoyment of the cartoon. Then, I started missing episodes (when you missed something on TV during the 90s... it was gone!) and upon returning to it, I found the plot had become much more complex and centered on sentimental intrigues, of which I never gave a toss about, so I jumped off the hype train while others still followed it until the end.

As it is usual for these productions, Rossana was another anime based on a manga series; the original work is titled "Kodomo No Omocha" (which literally means "Children's Plaything"... yeah, I too find it a tad creepy), drawn by mangaka Miho Obana and serialized by Ribon from 1994 to 1998. It tells the story of Rossana Kurata, a child actress (an idol in the original story) trying to balance her career with a normal kid's life by going to school and having normal friends: however, her class is anything but normal and she finds herself often fighting against the biggest bully of the school group, Hayama (translated as Heric in italian). As the story progresses, though, Sana understands Heric's complex and at times completely inappropriate attitude is a result of a troubled childhood, having lost his mother at birth and being bullied by his older sister and completely ignored by his father. Willing to help him out, Sana befriends him and starts to develop even deeper feelings, also sharing her own troubled past: she had been actually abandoned as a newborn and adopted by Misako, a famous writer. New characters are introduced along the way, among which the child actor Charles, Sana's schoolmate but also colleague which the girl will work alongside during a trip to the States, and Funny, an extremely extroverted kid that will at first become close friends with Sana, but that will, at some point, steal Heric's heart, leaving Sana to deal with heartbreak and jealousy. Despite the story being drawn in an energetic shojo style and the episodes showing many hysterical/demential jokes along the way, Kodomo No Omocha is a dramatic story centered on overcoming past secrets, venomous feelings, and describing the difficult shift from childhood to adolescence.

The original 10 manga volumes got adapted for animation in 102 episodes, which broadcasted on TV Tokyo from 1996 to 1998. In Italy, the anime got imported first with the direct title "Rossana": it was aired in its entirety during all of the year 2000, and yes, all the 102 episodes got translated! Unfortunately, the channel wanted to make Rossana completely targetable to little kids, which meant that many plot elements had to undergo heavy censorship. The result was a comedy/demential series that at times showed a sentimental route, and for the rest felt very cut, like it was hiding something. This was no Chou Gals!-styled localizaion effort: scenes were edited or completely deleted, names and terms translated losing all context, graphics and objects concerning japanese culture got zoomed out, some episodes even aired randomly without following the original order, and finally the ending got cut, leaving it as an open cliffhanger. Kodomo No Omocha is, originally, marketed towards an adolescent audience, but kids are a much more profitable target, so a lot of the original plot points went away: Sana no longer thinks of Rei (her adult manager, called Robby in italian) as his boyfriend; it's never mentioned that her actual mother abandoned her in a park after giving birth at only 14 years old; and many instances in which some kids (Heric, but also Komori in later eps) practice self-harm or have suicidal thoughts are cut in their entirety. And yet, despite this general mangling, the story managed to become popular anyway, gaining three reruns, some video distribution on VHS and DVD (both cut, for unknown reasons, after the 20th episode), and an opening with lyrics that will never leave the minds of an entire generation. The manga got translated only after 2002, getting marketed instead for its actual audience and going for a literal translation of its original title: "Il giocattolo dei bambini - Rossana" got published by Dynit in its entirety, however I'm not sure wether it underwent the same censorship measures of the cartoon or it was left to a more faithful state.

The hype about Rossana was interestingly lacking of any substantial, original merchandise imported from their origin country; instead, every gadget we had about the anime was produced by italian companies and it consisted in the usual cheapish stuff sold in order to cash a quick buck on popular media. We had school supplies such as bags, pencil cases and diaries, decorated stationary, and the never-missing sticker album. This last merchandise, aptly featured in this post, is what I remember most since everyone was trading doubles at school; the blindingly hot pink package has also burned a permanent image in my mind. Published by Merlin in 2001, Rossana's abundantly pink album could contain 204 stickers; be them glossy, holographic, single or combined, it adds up as quite a large selection considering that all images shown were nothing more than screenshots of the cartoon, with album pages filling up a description of episodes shown, or giving a little more insight on the general plot. At least my previously reviewed Pokèmon album showed interesting action poses by Sugimori and doubled up as a Pokèdex, but I do recognize the latter can count on a much more substantial franchise. What Rossana's album excels in, though, is its value; remember when I said a completed Pokèmon album was only worth a few bucks? Well, a completed Rossana album goes instead for nothing less than a hundred euros on secondhand markets. Even the single stickers, if sold in lots, can become a pretty penny, and still sealed booster packs can range from 30 to 70 euros depending on how many you're selling. I can already picture italian readers going through their cupboards to see if they still have this relic intact! As for me, I was too focused on Pokèmon during that period to care about filling up another sticker album, so I had completely skipped that. And no, I'm not gonna spend 100+ euros on an album just to make a Fandom post: what you're seeing here are all images collectors have shown to the net.

It's interesting to notice that Merlin tried to cash in on the anime's popularity even beyond the sticker album itself, by advertising even among the album pages an upcoming periodical (monthly I suppose?) magazine almost all centered on the cartoon, but trying to double up as a typical girls' magazine with pictures of boybands, various articles, and the always present and equally emberassing mail section. For some reason I have very vivid flashbacks of me going through the pages of the first volume: probably some friend brought it at school, they had it lying about at their house, or I may have bought it along with other girls then left it to them. This mag was nothing particular and doomed to be shortlived: you can't keep a single anime series relevant forever, and it was apparent that arguments tried to always pull Rossana into context when in reality it had nothing to do with the articles. It seemingly disappeared after its second issue, and got buried under the sheer abundance of more relevant girly mags, among which the legendary Cioè.

All in all, Rossana’s shout of livelyhood was probably short, but loud enough to have shook the heart and soul of many of us, especially in this country. It’s apparent that companies wanted to keep the profit margin as high as possible by not importing any substantial japanese gadget about Sana and opting instead for printed publications or cheapy stationery; however, apart from dolls, plushes and general toys, even Japan didn’t seem too keen on releasing actually peculiar stuff dedicated to the franchise. The most technological gimmick I found is a toy audio recorder, of which I can only find a few images online and not even one single listing so I can get and review it. Maybe I’m just sour no one ever thought about doing a Game Boy adaptation, because I’m sure it would’ve been a major hit among girls here. Oh well, can’t change the past... but surely you can remember it. :)

[linphd]

dabi x sibling!reader | la vie en rose

dabi x reader

neutral gender, else sister or brother

Touya Todoroki being your favorite sibling and you reminding those times together, wondering if he’ll ever come back.

warning : bit of angst

this one shot follows the theory that Dabi is Touya Todoroki.

in this, you are Shoto's twin, sister or brother idc, whether you look like him or not, and you have both quirks just like him, except that you've been using your fire along with your ice.

          Your twin brother and you had a special link, since your were twins. However, your favorite brother was still Touya. Indeed, even when you and Shoto were forced to train with your dad instead of playing with your siblings, you spent all of your free time with Touya. He couldn't tell neither why he liked you that much, but you were his favorite sibling as well.

           Throughout time, as Shoto was seeking for attention from your mother, you were seeking attention from Touya. Fuyumi and Natsuo liked both Shoto and you as well, but they couldn't deny that you seemed to prefer their brother and Shoto preferred to stay with his mom.

           You actually thought that your mom couldn't give hugs and kisses to the both of you, and you weren't mad at her -since she was still giving motherly love to you sometimes- because you had all of that with Touya.

         Once your dad was training you and he had walked away to go to the restroom. You were panting, and Shoto was with your mom. Endeavour liked to train one of his twin at a time. Touya sneaked in the room. ''Hey, you wanna watch a movie with me ? You choose !'' You started to smile, but then you heard the restroom door opening. ''But dad...'' Touya picked you up and started to run, giggling. ''We won't tell !''

          To this day, you still didn't know what happened to Touya when your dad found out, but you knew that nothing had happened to you. Whatever, going back to the movie. You chose a random movie you had never watched before, and you loved the background music : La vie en rose. You kept humming it since then, at the point that the whole house was humming it randomly.

             Once, you dad had been very harsh to you, since your quirk had shown up. Even worse, he had sent your mom to the hospital after she had burnt Shoto's face. You had kept hugging him and kissing his cheek, under the bandage he had on his eye.

             But when the first night without your mom in the house happened, you weren't able to sleep. You spent your time crying. Fuyumi did try to cheer you up, along with Shoto -since you twins were sleeping in the same bedroom at this time- but nothing could help. Even though you weren't as close to your mom as Shoto was, she was still your mommy.

             After ending up in tears as well, Fuyumi woke Touya up. ''We need your help to calm (Y/N) down. They can't sleep, they have been crying for hours, and I've been crying since like 1 hour trying to cheer them up. Natsuo didn't even try...'' Touya sighed, ruffling his sister's hair.

           He made his way to your room. ''Shoto, you can sleep in my bed if you want. It's calm there, I'll sleep with (Y/N).'' Shoto nodded and made his way to Touya's room. Meanwhile, your older brother laid on your bed, hugging you. He whispered some sweet words in your ear, rubbing your back and your hair. After some time you had calmed down a bit, he kissed your forehead and started to hum La vie en rose.

           ''Why didn't I think about it...'' Fuyumi commented. Touya looked up to see that she had been watching the both of you for some time. ''It wouldn't have worked this much. I've watched it with them, it counts more.'' Harsh, but true. At some point, you also started to hum it with a quiet voice, making Touya giggle. You fell asleep in his arms.

           ''Stop daydreaming, Fuyumi said dinner was ready.'' You heard Shoto tell you. He was quite used to you lost in your mind, even if he never asked what you were thinking about. Endeavor was on patrol, and you actually enjoyed those times with your siblings. But, without Touya. He was a taboo word. All your siblings know you must've been more hurt when he never came back than when your mom was sent to the hospital.

            You could see your mom, you knew where she was. But no sign of Touya since that heated argument with your dad. You couldn't even say bye. It had been like 3 years from now. You hoped he wasn't dead and that he was still thinking about you. Still lost in your mind, you hadn't noticed that your older siblings had went back to the living room, living you and Shoto alone, since he was washing the dishes.

            ''Shoto ? Can we talk about Touya ?'' You knew if you needed to talk about the taboo word with someone, it had to be with Shoto. After all, you had this strong link twins have.

        ''Okay. But if I start to get mad about it, I'll stop. Agree ?'' You nodded, and started to help him with the dishes. ''I have a theory. He could've texted us and stuff, right ? -He's not dead, (Y/N). -That is... not my theory.'' Shoto raised an eyebrow. ''What if he turned a villain ? I mean, he hated dad he wants to avenge himself so he became what dad despises ! And he doesn't text us and stuff because we could know his position and he doesn't want to put us in trouble neither ?'' 

            Shoto rolled his eyes. ''Cute theory, but Touya isn't dumb enough to do that.'' You just groaned. ''I'm sure even if he didn't become a villain he doesn't want to text us or to be related to us so we won't get in trouble. Maybe he got kidnapped by villains.’’ You said. But he wasn’t convinced. ‘’After all this time, he would've been home. Even your first theory was more possible than this one. I just think he walked away and moved out of Japan, and if he can't text us it's because he doesn't have money.''

            Maybe, but Shoto missed a point. ''Social medias are free, he would've talked to us at least !'' Seeing your twin brother washing the dishes without looking at you, with an unbothered expression, you didn't continue. You just kept washing the dishes as well, silent.

            Some days later, you were in your room -Touya's former room. Of course you were the one who had moved to his room when he decided to never come back. It was pretty late and the lights of your room were still on, so you decided to wear your pyjamas instead of staying half naked, in case people could see you from outside. You were using earphones, as you didn't want to wake up the whole house.

          However, you felt like you were hearing something over the music you were listening, so you stopped your music and withdrew your earphones. And you were right ; some seconds later, you heard someone from outside.

           You wanted to brush it off until you heard the person humming. Humming La vie en rose. You ran to your window, hoping it was Touya. But you just saw the back of a tall man, with a huge cloak and black hair. Well, it's a famous song, everybody knows it. You just switched off the light and went back to bed.

        It was now your birthday. You had visited your mom with Shoto earlier that day, and she had remembered ! Since she couldn't move from her hospital room, she had asked Fuyumi to buy the presents she wanted to offer you. She wished you a happy birthday and she had baked a tiny cake with the help of a nurse she considered as a friend, and Shoto, you and your mom ate it in her room.

           You were in the 1-B class, since Shoto and you had asked not to be in the same class, but your classmates and his had organized a little something for you when you walked out the hospital. They had some presents for you, and they had organized a little party at Momo's house for you two.

            You stayed there until it was starting to get dark, since you both wanted to celebrate it with your siblings as well. As usual, Fuyumi and Natsuo had prepared some balloons everywhere around the house, and you both had presents on your beds. They had managed to make Endeavor wear a birthday hat, which made you laugh while Shoto just snorted a bit.

         The whole evening was great, and even your dad wasn't a pain in the ass. He was less and less a pain in the ass though, now that Shoto agreed to finally use his power. You ate cake once more, kind of forcing yourself since you guys had 3 celebrations already, but Fuyumi had put a lot of effort into the cake, and you didn't want to hurt her.

          Everyone was watching TV, but you stopped watching when you received a notification on your phone. Your heart stopped beating when you read ''Touya 😎🤙🏻''. Someone should've hacked his phone or something. But you opened the text anyway.

from Touya 😎🤙🏻 at 9:14pm

Happy Birthday ! I know you're 16 now !

+ congrats on your provisional license ❤️

from Touya 😎🤙🏻 at 9:15pm

La-Vie-en-Rose.mp3

from Touya 😎🤙🏻 at 9:15pm

don't tell and don't answer ily

          Unconsciously, you had started to cry. It was him, not someone who had hacked his phone. You did as he said and didn't answer, even though you had many many questions to ask him, and wanted to thank him.

            ''What's wrong ?'' Shoto asked. That's when you understood he hadn't received it. Touya had only texted you. You just giggled, wiping your tears away. ''Sorry, I'm just tired, I guess I need some sleep.'' Natsuo giggled as well. ''You had a pretty exhausting day, yeah. Goodnight !'' They all waved at you and you waved as well, going to your room.

          You read the texts all over and over again, crying even more since now you were alone and nobody could see you. Maybe he was the guy with the black hair, he could've changed his look so nobody would recognize him, after all. But you couldn't ask him. If he told you not to answer, he had reasons. You just kept listening to the song he had sent to you, singing along with it, a huge smile on your face, until you fell asleep.

          the sequel is here !!

kind of angst bc there isn't a bad ending

fun fact if you guys are crying : I actually got this idea for no reason while I was shaving in the bathroom???? anyway love for dabi

[wrestlingisfake]

Double or Nothing preview

Kenny Omega vs. Chris Jericho - The winner of this match will face the winner of the Casino Battle Royale at a later date to determine the first AEW world champion.  Interestingly, Jericho is scheduled to challenge for the IWGP heavyweight championship on June 9, and this match may indirectly affect that one.

This is a rematch from Wrestle Kingdom 12, where Jericho began his sudden shift from “I’ll never wrestle anywhere besides WWE” to “I can be the Brock Lesnar of New Japan.”  Neither man has had a match since Wrestle Kingdom 13 earlier this year, where Omega lost the IWGP heavyweight title in the main event, and Jericho lost the IWGP intercontinental title in the semi-main. 

Jericho’s character outside of WWE has been a leathery weirdo brawler, whose services are highly valued by promoters even though he’s totally uncontrollable.  He’s randomly ambushed several top names in New Japan, and he seems to be gunning for Cody Rhodes down the line, but his recurring nemesis is Omega.  The general idea is that Omega entered the “greatest of all time” conversation with his six-star performances in 2017, and that puts a target on him for legends like Jericho that want to make a statement.  Omega defeated Jericho at Wrestle Kingdom 12, then Jericho shockingly attacked him at All In, then Omega’s team defeated Jericho’s team during Jericho’s wrestling cruise, and then Jericho attacked Omega again at AEW’s February 7 media event.

This is basically the biggest match AEW can present at this point.  It’s a rematch from the Tokyo Dome, featuring the biggest current star who’s never been to WWE and the biggest ex-WWE star they could sign.  In some ways it’s a coup they could put this together in a US show, but in other ways I’m disappointed that AEW couldn’t come up with something hotter.  18 months after his first NJPW vignette, the challenge for AEW is to prove Jericho still has mileage as a 48-year-old resident legend, and not just as an occasional special attraction.  Luckily, Jericho is keenly aware of this stuff and pretty good at finding ways to keep himself over, so hopefully this match will set up a good direction for him.

I tend to think Omega should win here, but Jericho is coming in with a pretty shitty win-loss record, considering he’s been set up as the top heel in the company.  A win for Jericho would add momentum to the angle that he thinks he’s singlehandedly put AEW on the map, and set up more matches down the line.  Then again, Omega is the actual ace of the promotion, and needs to be protected as such.  So I’m expecting a creative finish, but I don’t know which guy will win.

Nick Jackson & Matt Jackson vs. Penta El 0M & Rey Fenix - The Young Bucks (Nick and Matt) are defending the AAA tag team championship.  This feud started with the Lucha Bros. showing up at an AEW press conference, taking exception to the Bucks calling themselves the greatest tag team.  This led to the Bucks flying all over the place to ambush the Lucha Bros. at various indie shows.  Finally, when the Lucha Bros. won the AAA tag title at Rey de Reyes, the Bucks suddenly showed up for an impromptu title match and won the belts.

It’s worth noting that a rematch for the title has already been booked for AAA’s Verano de Escándalo on June 16.  So the outcome of this match won’t have much impact on which team ends up with the belts in the long run.  With that in mind, the logical outcome is for the Bucks to win to establish them as the benchmark for the strong tag team division they’ve been promising.  Penta and Fenix aren’t enhancement talent by any means, though, so I could see them scoring a win on the Bucks’ turf.  But until the Lucha Bros. put a ring on it and sign with AEW, it would be risky to put them over.  I’m leaning towards the Bucks retaining.

Cody Rhodes vs. Dustin Rhodes - Dustin, 50, is the son of wrestling legend Dusty Rhodes and his first wife, Sandra; Cody, 33, is Dusty’s son by his second wife, Michelle.  This is virtually a direct follow-up to their match at WWE Fast Lane 2015 (as Stardust and Goldust), which had been the closest they’d come to their dream of doing the match at a Wrestlemania.  A year later, Cody left WWE to begin a meteoric rise in the non-WWE scene, leading to his leadership role in AEW.  Once it became clear Dustin was leaving WWE, it was obvious he would end up here.

Dustin delivered a strong video package about needing to prove he’s still got it, and wanting to settle old scores with Cody.  Cody cut an intense promo likening Dustin and his era with Old Yeller, suggesting he has to put Dustin down because he loves him.  You can debate the wisdom of indulging in this storyline at a pivotal point in AEW’s beginnings, but you cannot argue that both men as fully committed to proving it can work.  Hopefully that results in some killer storytelling and a good match.  I have to think Cody wins here, and the brothers hug and Dustin ends up with a backstage job or something.

PAC vs. Hangman Page - ...already happened, so I guess you can watch that here.  The match on this card had to be cancelled.  The angle is that Page was so hype to fight Pac that he went to an indie show in England to do the match a week early.  Pac intentionally got disqualified and then pillmanized Page’s knee; he claimed he only wanted the Double or Nothing match to injure Page, but since he’d already succeeded with that he wouldn’t be coming to this show.  I suspect this match was intended to determine a participant in the match to crown the first AEW world champion, since Page has been talking about wanting that spot for months. 

As of this writing, AEW hasn’t announced what Page will be doing on this show, or even if he’s kayfabe recovered enough from the knee attack to have a match  This could be trouble, because it leaves fans to imagine all sorts of crazy surprise opponents that the company may not be able to deliver.  Already people have been actively speculating about CM Punk (the Dave Chappelle of wrestling), Jon Moxley (formerly WWE’s Dean Ambrose), and Joey Ryan (who had a farcical feud with Page last year).  How AEW handles this mess will leave a lasting first impression with fans, particularly fans like me who’ve seen all the stupid things WWE would do in this situation.

Britt Baker vs. Nyla Rose vs. Kylie Rae - This is a three-way match, so the first woman to score a fall over either opponent will be declared the winner.  Baker is probably best known as the wrestling dentist from the four-way match at All In last year.  Rose made headlines as the first trans woman signed to a major wrestling company, and I’ve just learned she starred in a Canadian sitcom a few years ago, playing a computer programmer, which is an interesting contrast from her “Native Beast” wrestling persona.  Rae is relatively less known, but she’s a smiley happy character in the vein of Bayley, and she’s from Chicago so I know who I’m rooting for.

Unfortunately I think the big story in this match is whether the live audience will accept Nyla, or if a bunch of jerks try to start transphobic chants or something.  I think the hardcore AEW audience is cool about it, but there’s just no way to know until she goes through the curtain.

Of these three, Baker seems to be the one they’re pushing as the face of the division, which may make her the favorite.  But the fact it’s a three-way with nothing tangible at stake makes this one hard to call.

Christopher Daniels & Scorpio Sky & Frankie Kazarian vs. CIMA & T-Hawk & El Lindaman - Daniels’s team is SoCal Uncensored, which has become something of an underground sensation via their sing-along catchphrases and Being the Elite skits.  Cima’s team represents a faction called Strong Hearts, consisting of the wrestlers who joined him in leaving Dragon Gate to found Oriental Wrestling Entertainment in Shanghai. 

OWE is one of several attempts to expand the wrestling industry into the lucrative Chinese market--AEW is clearly partnering with them to cultivate Chinese talent and a Chinese audience.  Note, however, that Cima, T-Hawk, and Lindaman are Japanese, not Chinese; the Chinese wrestlers they’ve been training will presumably appear in the future.  This match seems to be less about China than about getting OWE over with the AEW audience, and acknowledging the influence Cima has had in the careers of wrestlers like Daniels and the Young Bucks.

If you weren’t paying attention to ROH last year, you might be surprised how hot SCU has become with the kind of fans that’ll be at this show.  When I went to All In I was prepared for the sea of Bullet Club shirts and constant Elite chants, but the response to anything SCU did was far more intense.  They really should win here, although there may be a plan to use them to establish the Strong Hearts as a force to be reckoned with.  It’ll really depend on how often Cima and the OWE guys are planning on flying out to do these shows.

Aja Kong & Yuka Sakazaki & Emi Sakura vs. Hikaru Shida & Riho & Ryo Mizunami - Kong is legendary monster heel, whose career goes back over 30 years.  As for the others, I don’t have much info on them.  My impression is that this match is designed to help introduce joshi (Japanese women’s wrestling) to the west, which would suggest the younger participants in this match (Sakazaki, Shida, Riho, and Mizunami) will be groomed for long-term roles in the company.  From what I’ve heard, Kenny Omega wants AEW to spotlight Japanese women as a unique attraction, similar to how WCW used cruiserweights and luchadors back in the day.  It’s a clever move, since the other US promotions have male Japanese stars, but joshi is still rather obscure in the west.  On Being the Elite they’ve played up Kenny Omega’s history with Riho, so I guess I have to pick her team to win.

Chuck Taylor & Trent Beretta vs. Jack Evans & Angelico - Chuck and Trent are the Best Friends, who were on the verge of breaking up when we last saw them in New Japan.  Evans is one of the original big names from the super-indy days in the early 2000s.  Angelico has been teaming with Evans in AAA, Lucha Underground, PWG, and elsewhere.  The Young Bucks have talked a big game about making the tag team division more important in AEW than in other promotions, but matches like this one will determine if they’re really serious about any tag teams but themselves.  I can’t decide which team should win, but I’ve got a soft spot for the Best Friends so I’m rooting for ‘em.

Casino Battle Royale - This is a 21-person gauntlet battle royal match, scheduled for the pre-show, where the winner will qualify to for a future match to determine the first AEW world champion.  Typically this kind of match starts with two participants in the ring, and each additional participant enters every 90 seconds or so.  The twist here is that five participants will start, and every three minutes another five enter the match.  The final entrant, being “lucky 21,” gets to enter alone, meaning only one person will have that “freshest person in the match” advantage.

The rules for elimination have not been specified, so I assume it’ll be the standard rules for most battle royales.  After entering the match, a participant will be eliminated if they exit the ring over the top rope and both of their feet touch the floor.  Participants can avoid elimination by stalling their entry into the ring, or by exiting the ring under the top rope, or by going over the top and keeping one foot off the floor until they can re-enter.  Eliminations can occur at any point in the match, before and after the last participant has entered.  The last person left in the match after everyone else has been eliminated is declared the winner.

Confirmed entrants for the match include:

Ace Romero (the big fat dude from MLW)

Billy Gunn (he’s an ass man, womp womp)

Brandon Cutler (the Young Bucks’ old buddy from PWG)

Brian Pillman, Jr. (the son of the “loose cannon��� from WCW/WWF)

Dustin Thomas (a guy with no legs who impressed everyone at Joey Janela’s Spring Break recently)

Glacier (the Mortal Kombat guy from WCW...yes, that Glacier)

Isiah Kassidy (one half of the tag team Private Party)

Jimmy Havoc (an edgelord from the British indie scene)

Joey Janela (sleazy guy from GCW that does the Spring Break shows)

Jungle Boy (Luke Perry’s son doing a Tarzan gimmick) 

Luchasaurus (a guy who seems to be neither a luchador nor a dinosaur)

Marq Quen (the other half of Private Party)

Michael Nakazawa (Kenny Omega’s old buddy from DDT)

MJF (obnoxious preppie douchebag from MLW)

Shawn Spears (WWE’s Tye Dillinger/Cody’s old buddy from OVW)

Sonny Kiss (formerly XO Lishus in Lucha Underground)

Sunny Daze (scary weird guy that makes Bray Wyatt look like Mr. Rogers...okay, I’ll admit that’s not a very helpful comparison right now, but you get the drift)

???

???

???

???

That leaves four spots remaining as of this writing.  Knowing AEW, those spots could go to some of the guys who are signed but not booked (like Darby Allin or Peter Avalon) or to total unknowns, or to giant surprise stars.  It is entirely possible some women could be added to the match.

Obviously that “lucky 21” spot is perfectly suited for a big surprise entrant to shockingly debut, run wild, and win the whole thing.  However, since this match is for the pre-show, I don’t see them blowing their wad on a really big surprise.  On the other hand, the winner of this match has to be a credible contender for their world championship, so they can’t just give it to Joey Ryan or whoever.  This is where you really start wondering if Jon Moxley is available.

Sammy Guevera vs. Kip Sabian - The opening match, to air on the pre-show.  Guevera is a former AAA crusierweight champion.  Sabian has held the IPW:UK championship, and based on the limited data I can find for that title, he may well still be the champion.  Considering how much of this card consists of wrestlers I literally never heard of until they were booked for this show, it says something that these two are so obscure they’re in the opener.  But that’s to be expected when starting a promotion from scratch.  Hopefully they both give us a reason to care who they are.

[tekka-dan]

Also while venting to my therapist about my toxic friendship that ended in January, I recounted events as early as 2007 regarding the way she was acting towards me and my therapist made the comment “sweetheart, not a soul on earth would’ve stayed friends with someone that long and still have been so kind..” and she looked very saddened by the admittance that for over a decade I was friends (I honestly considered her a close aquatintence..) with a girl who was toxic and shady from the beginning and I still saw the best in her.

The reason she was brought up in therapy was because I told my therapist I wanted to apologize to her.

Here’s the run down (summarized):

- November 2018 I got back in touch with the friend who disappeared on me for several months

- She tells me she is now married to a woman (the last time we spoke she was begging me for money that I wouldn’t send her and lying about a domestic relationship with a man she was involved with that turned into her dating his sister when she got him put in jail for false accusations...that she forced his own sister to play her side on during court)

- I was weary of her...but I’m genuine, I accept her back into my life..I assume we will be distant as always (I kept my distance from her because I didn’t want to be dragged into any of her mess..)

- I (mistakenly) inform her about my relationship with a very good man (I used to tag him on here..yeah, I miss that)

- December 2018....the problems embark

- First week of December was spent dealing with her issues regarding her wife..she disclosed very insensitive information to me regarding someone she was married to and I felt like it was disrespectful of her...but I am a genuine person so I heard her out..let her speak. Those problems stayed between us. Her and her wife went back to being “fine”...

- Second week of December 2018 a friend of mine was having a crisis. I went to his house for comfort (his mother passed away suddenly and I met her that summer so to me it felt like a loss also) the guy I was dating knew about me going to see my friend...he was weird about it.

- Third week of December 2018...I am not officially dating the guy I was dating (wasn’t official because I wanted to slow down..it was still rushed anyway) within two days of dating he was going through my messages on my phone without my knowledge or permission. I felt like that was crossing a line...I thought we trusted each other. I was hurt.

- Fourth week of December 2018...angry, I went to my friend in person to vent. She comforted me along with her wife. I felt better...I felt home. They made me tea and something to eat. I said a lot of things in anger about the guy that day but in the end I still went home to him and we made up. Things were good.

- January 2019...the shitstorm hits the fan. Invited friend out with boyfriend in hometown to work out. Her wife didn’t come..she felt neglected but my boyfriend at the time made sure to make her feel included however he also focused on me most...which I found alluring. Didn’t notice that my friend was high key jealous...it showed later that night.

- January 2019 still the first week and same day as previous line. Friend decides to bring up old friend from high school in an odd way. She asks me “Have you spoken to her recently?” I reply honestly with “No, but I have never really been close to her. She’s cool.” Mistake 1...of many with my reply. She went back to old friend and told her “Dani says you and her haven’t talked recently so you’re a liar.” She tells me this, hoping it would anger me..it doesn’t. I simply say “No hard feelings. I see her on Facebook and she looks well. I hope all is well.” My friend doesn’t like my docile response...this will turn bitter the next hour.

- Same day, I am now driving in place of my tired and exhausted boyfriend back to their city, two hours from the hometown. Friend decides to randomly say “(friends name who she mentioned earlier) Looks fucking stupid. She’s a girl looking like a man. Haha remember when you were into that shit?” This angers me. My boyfriend in the backseat heard this comment..but he and I discussed it prior to dating..she says this like it was supposed to make him question me..neither he nor I react. So she keeps talking. “Don’t you think that’s fucking weird? You’re a GIRL! With GIRL parts! You’re not a fucking man.” While she’s talking I remember back years prior where she would say something aimed to make me react..but this time, I knew better. I also remember in present day she’s dating a woman who looks like a man herself, when meeting her wife I let her wife speak first so I knew the pronouns she preferred and she goes by “she”. Either way I remember wanting to say “That’s insensitive (friends name). You’re married to someone like that. Have some class.” But instead I say nothing, because in my head this wasn’t worth an argument and I knew all she wanted to be was right...so I said nothing. This would be the biggest regret I’d ever make.

- January 2019...second week. I get a call from my boyfriend in tears the day before his 21st birthday. He tells me that my friend invited him over to their house (mind you all, I don’t live there or near them...this doesn’t mean I don’t trust them despite my friends history of insecurity...I was secure in myself and man to not think she would ever pull such a foul move...) and they told him everything I said the night I was angry. Remember that being from December.....I remember not saying anything for a moment because I was shocked she crossed me but I also was not going to lie. He accepts my admittance and we are fine. My friend however....isn’t happy that we made up. She doesn’t stop there.

- The final thread that broke us. January 25th 2019...it all ends. She couldn’t let go that for once I was happy with someone and rather than seeing me happy and looking at her miserable last minute marriage to a woman she obviously didn’t know well enough to be angry about trivial things...her jealousy got the best of her. She ruined my relationship with my boyfriend and she attempted to ruin my relationship to the friend she brought up. The friend however knows me better than her and rather than letting her talk shit about me, she came directly to me saying “Everything I’m hearing from (friends name) is rather disturbing and doesn’t sound like you at all. Can I please ask what’s going on for her to be sending me messages trash talking you like she and I are friends or even on that level? I’m not comfortable with this. If I caused anything I’m very sorry but this truly bothers me what she’s saying about you *she attached the screen shots*”

- February 2019....I had not responded to the screen shot message in two weeks. Not because Of shock but because I wanted to see their characters play out. I’m genuine...I have nothing bad to say about the friend who ruined my relationship to a distant friend who hasn’t spoken to me in years...it just simply wasn’t my character to go back and forth like this..so I didn’t.

- Valentine’s Day 2019...my ex has moved on. He’s dating a girl he was seeing two days after splitting from me. I wished him the best. I am genuine...so when I said I hope he’s happy, I meant it. The friend who ruined us followed his social media until he re-made his accounts. I remember telling myself that all good things end but I couldn’t bring myself to understand..what I did wrong for them to even end.

So I’m sitting with my therapist in 2019 now 10 months later, telling her all this (plus the stuff from 2007 that’s just too many receipts to type out here) and she knows all of this and the words that I finish with were “I want to apologize to her.”

My therapist was shocked. After hearing all that, she was genuinely shocked. However my mind has been made up for months that I wanted to apologize to my friend. But let me finish...

I want to apologize to my friend for trusting her. For allowing myself to think that because she could trust me and come to me with genuine confusion and pain..that I thought I could do the same. To apologize for allowing the pain of years prior to never tell her how she hurt me or why simply because I made the excuse “that’s who she is..I accept it about her. I won’t hold it against her” to be the reason I kept allowing her shitty behavior and attitude to poison my life. To apologize for thinking she ever really meant she was changing when she said she was. For being her cheerleader while she was stealing my happiness, trust and care to then poison the water we drank. I wanted to apologize to her for being true and pure while she was fake and toxic.

In the end she left me with a message that I kept screen shot and as my lock screen, to remind me exactly why our friendship ended. Because even in the end I still felt so bad...so bad for her because I knew she was hurting and lost..I genuinely wanted to know she was alright. I wanted the best for her but she was jealous of me the whole time.

I’m bittersweet about our friendship having ended. It still hurts and even though now I accept it, it was very hard to me to realize I don’t need to apologize to her. I expected one from her though, for all these years, and even when she never thought to say sorry to me..she still crossed my mind even after what she did to me.

But I am finally free..I can finally wash my hands of this and I can say I’m finally clean of this and her.

[entergamingxp]

Crucible Hands-On Preview — Amazon Enters the Hero Shooter Warzone

May 19, 2020 9:00 AM EST

Crucible, Relentless Studios’ first title, releases tomorrow and I got a hands-on look at the game a bit early.

A new competitor joins free-to-play competitive shooter landscape this week with Relentless Studio’s Crucible. Last week, I got the chance to try out the game with members of the development team and other members of the media. Walking away from the event, I was left with cautious optimism for the new hero-shooter, but with a feeling that Crucible is going to have a steep climb ahead of it to make it.

Crucible is the latest F2P hero shooter where teams composed of unique “Hunters,” each with special abilities and weapons, compete against one another in three different game types at launch. Relentless opted out of the “holy trinity” character roles that many games have, so don’t expect to see characters broken up into damage dealers, healers, and tanks. However, hunters will have skills that make them more conducive to those sorts of playstyles.

Each hunter has unique abilities and attacks that make each feel impressively different from the others. Before each match, players will pick from a handful of different possible skills that can be unlocked as they level up, lending to different builds that people can try for. Your character and skill tree are locked in before the game begins and before you know of who you will be facing off against since you aren’t able to swap characters during matches. This can make it tough to plan for the best build for your team, unless you are playing with friends.

During the demo, I became especially fond of the melee-focused Drakoul, who could yank foes him with a hook and bash them with his massive ax, while using the boosters on his back to dash away when things got too hairy. It was a new playstyle to have featured in a third-person shooter, though I admit, there were some foes I had especially tricky times dealing with.

Crucible’s gameplay feels very much like a melding of a MOBA and the reliance of having players increase their level to unlock new abilities by farming random mobs on the map while also combining a hero shooter’s more fast-paced gameplay. Wild inhabitants and fauna, native to the planet Crucible, are found around the arena lending themselves as natural sources of Essence, Crucible’s form of experience points. Hunting these monsters down reminded me of a lot of jungling in the MOBAs of my past. Accumulating Essence is an integral part of the game, as making sure your hunter is adequately leveled up, with as many of their skills unlocked as you can, will be a big part of whether or not you will live through a battle.

Players will be able to do battle in three modes at launch. Before you ready up for a match, you will pick you a hunter and how your skill tree will develop. Once the matches begin, you will be presented with a map of Crucible, where you choose the point you will be dropping at. Some modes have you selecting your drop point, and others you have a drop-leader that will pick a spot for your entire team.

  The first mode is Heart of the Hive that pits two teams of four in a struggle to capture the hearts of giant hives that spawn throughout the map. The first to capture three hearts then wins. Some of my favorite moments from the event were the tense battles between the teams over the hearts, feeling far more like a tense match during a MOBA than in any of the other hero shooters. Each death of a teammate or enemy would put that team down a hunter for nearly 30 seconds, meaning you had to plan out when to use your skills to use them to maximum effect.

The second mode is Harvester Command, where two teams of eight fight over control of five harvester points that are on the map, which slowly tick up each team’s counter. Whoever fills the bar first, with kills and holding harvesters, will win the match. It’s a fairly straightforward affair, and the one I think I had the least fun with. The map was just a bit too big, and the respawn times were a bit too long for this style of gameplay mode. I felt like more of my time was spent trying to get somewhere or find people to fight, than I did actually in combat. It wasn’t bad, and I still had a good time with it, it just didn’t do as much for me.

The last is called Alpha Hunters and this mode has the most unique gameplay mechanic of Crucible that I don’t recall seeing anywhere else. This mode is a small scale battle royal, pitting eight teams of two against one another. When a player is killed, they are out; there are no respawns and no way to call back in your partner. Relentless came up with a genius idea to help out the leftover teammates after their partner dies. When a player who has lost their partner finds another player in a similar situation, they can request a temporary alliance with them, creating a brand new team of two. When there are only three players left, any of these alliances are dissolved, and it becomes a free-for-all. These alliances can also be broken at any time or denied altogether. This new approach brings an all-new take that I would love to see expanded on going forward—perhaps including it in a future free-for-all game type where you could partner with anyone if you so chose. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, after all.

Speaking with Relentless, it became clear that one of the central focuses they had while developing Crucible was to create a competitive title that would make for a pleasant viewing experience on Twitch. A particular example of this that the developers drew attention to was how projectiles are handled. Each bullet and projectile has been given an appearance to make it appear visible during gameplay, letting viewers and players get a better idea of where they are being fired at.

The pacing of the game modes themselves, from how the gameplay flows to the number of characters each mode includes, has been designed around this Twitch-viewer experience mentality. Crucible always weighs this balance between fun for the player and fun for the audience. With such a focus, I asked the team if Crucible would be launching within Twitch integration. They explained that they have some fresh ideas for these but that they would be coming after launch. Nothing is yet set in stone, but some of the ideas they had on this front include allowing the audience to help choose the events that would happen around the map. Events are randomly assigned from a pool, traditionally.

When it comes to monetization, Crucible will include the seasonal battle pass model that has become popular in recent years. The paid version of the battle pass will cost you about $9.50 per season and can be bought using credits, Crucible’s currency, with a free version being offered as well. The free version will net you considerably fewer rewards but for no cost to you. Alongside the pass, players can spend their credits on specific cosmetic items, no loot boxes in sight, with the only stipulation being that the store’s stock will change with different things being featured each day. Relentless has also promised that all new hunters and game modes will be free for all players, no buy-in necessary.

Crucible is releasing missing a few features that I believe will hamper it, especially in the competitive scene, making it almost feel more like an early access release than a full release. The most significant omission is the lack of a Ranked or Casual mode for its game types. In-game voice chat or spectate modes are also missing in this retail release, so players will have to rely on outside programs to communicate vocally with their teammates. For a game with such a competitive and viewer-focused design mentality, the fact that these borderline mandatory features of the genre are to be MIA at launch is puzzling, particularly when you consider just how crowded the field has become.

There were other odds-and-ends that I encountered during my play session that will hopefully be addressed in future updates. One oddity was had to do with the practice mode. While this does give players different areas to test out the various Hunters, if you want to try out a different character, you will need to exit out of the practice mode entirely, change your character, and start up the practice again. A more obtrusive issue was how it appears Crucible currently handles a player’s disconnect when a match is found. A few times during the demo, after players encountered problems with matchmaking, it would kick all players currently matched back to the main menu, having to re-queue up for a match. I hope that this issue will be fixed sooner rather than later, as I could see this becoming a problem and used as an implement by trolls.

Crucible has its work cut out for it if it hopes to excite the competitive Twitch community. The game does have a lot going for it that will help it in this fight, being a fun experience that offers an exciting mix of elements from the MOBA and hero-shooter genres. Since it is a free to play title, it’s an easy sell to your friends to give a try, so long as they have a PC. Encounters in matches are fast-paced and can offer moments of tense excitement and rewards mastery of a hunters skills and playstyles, which will encourage diving into the various hunters. When it comes to the Hunters, the different feel of each means there is a good chance that you will find one that will fit your style.

That being said, Crucible finds itself hamstrung somewhat out of the gate. Without the label of “Early Access” attached, the lacking of ranked matchmaking will be a huge red mark on a title that wants to get into the competitive landscape. It will be challenging to build a competitive community when there isn’t yet a competitive ladder to entice people to refine their tactics or master characters. In terms of content, Crucible is on the leaner side of offerings, launching with only three game modes and ten hunters, another area that could have been made less of an issue had this been an Early Access release instead of the official launch. In comparison, competitors in beta are offering the same number of characters, and Blizzard’s monolithic hero-shooter launched with more than double the choices of characters and more game modes. We know that more modes and hunters are being worked on, so hopefully, these additional offerings will arrive soon after launch.

  My time hunting down enemies and capturing Hive Hearts was memorable, and I look forward to jumping in tomorrow for more matches. I miss my boy, Drakoul, and I’m looking forward to getting better with him while trying out other hunters too.

Crucible launches tomorrow, May 20, 2020, exclusively on PC. You can try it out yourself over on Steam.

May 19, 2020 9:00 AM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/05/crucible-hands-on-preview-amazon-enters-the-hero-shooter-warzone/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=crucible-hands-on-preview-amazon-enters-the-hero-shooter-warzone

[doodlewash]

As I write this, I marvel at all of the things that simply fell into place, beginning with losing my job as an urban developer almost three years ago in Brazil, just three months after my husband also lost his. Yes, unfortunately, my birth country has been facing a political and economic crisis and still has around 12 million unemployed.

My name is Mila Renault, and I am a joyful Brazilian ex-pat now living in New Zealand. We moved to a sprawled green city of not even 200,000 people in the middle of the Pacific ocean after living for 38 years in a metropolis of 21.5 million inhabitants in an almost continental country.

Circumstances were pushing us! Adventures and risk takers, me and my husband, were also concerned with the quality of life we were giving to our children in Sao Paulo. We decided to achieve our old dream of living abroad.

After a solo first trip, he got a job! While waiting for the Visa we only had a month for clearing down and renting our apartment, preparing all documents and saying goodbye to our dog, closest friends and parents. During, the process of giving away, packing or either choosing what to bring, I also had to decide what to do with my art supplies and folders of old drawings and paintings that had been hidden in my wardrobes. Along with that, in my deepest memories, I also found my childhood dream of being an artist.

I grew up in a family of amateur artists. I learned to love watercolour as I saw my grand auntie and grand uncle painting, there were the framed pieces on the wall and my first watercolours sets, books, and heritage. One of my great grandfathers who was a surveyor trained in France and even participated in those recognition expeditions throughout the Amazonian rain forest that had painters do the accurate visual records as at that time they didn’t have photographs. I, fortunately, got this piece as a heritage.

From 8 to 12 years old, I had art studio classes with an artist and teacher and, though I used to work with mixed media, my passion was already watercolour. I won the first art prize in a Children’s Contest with a painting about global warming.  After that, at 13, I was looking for the stronger backbones for my skills and by good chance, my parents offered me to attend two years on Classical Drawing in a Lyceum of Arts and Crafts and finally, one year on watercolour.

After entering University, I kept painting and even teaching watercolour. I thought I would always keep practicing. However, slowly, I had to give up to become an architect and urban designer, a wife and mother.

We arrived in New Zealand in April 2017 with a few suitcases, empty minds, and the desire to live a different lifestyle with more work/life balance. But, in the very beginning, I was still missing my old routine. Everything seemed so different, landscape, habits and even a brief talk was different. And, of course, English and Latin cultural influence set two completely different moods.

Eventually, I had already settled the house, the kids were at school and I said goodbye to my mother who came to help us. I had the choice to either continue mourning my old life at home or get out to explore the new. It was early May, my first autumn in an orange and yellow landscape! Changing the environment and having free time while the kids were at school was the perfect pretext for me to start over.

Nonetheless, the mindset was the main point. I had already given up everything and fortunately, I also got rid of the fear of failure! With a little box of coloured pencils and watercolour, a backpack, and my bike, I started to sketch and paint around town. That, was not an easy process.

Although I had those classical drawing backbones such as perspective, tones, colour and composition packed in some untouched drawer of my brain, my hands were rusty and my eyes untrained. With fierce determination and passion, I put myself in a routine of painting almost every day for two years now. In January 2018, I was at my first art fair and in April my first paintings were accepted in the Art Posts Gallery in Hamilton.

Supplies

I consider it essential to invest in professional grade watercolours. I have made the transition from Winsor & Newton Cotman student grade paints to M. Graham professional watercolours the end of 2017. My initial pallet was Prussian Blue, Ultramarine Blue, Indian Yellow, Quinacridone rose, Transparent Iron Oxide, Sepia and I have added something new that was having a dark neutral (Paynes Grey) and my first green, that now is essential which is the Azo Green. Lately, I have added Cobalt Teal that I use a lot for my seascapes.

I am going to do a workshop with Mr. Alvaro Castagnet in March so I have been making some experiments with his set of colours from Daniel Smith.

I can’t live without my round Silver Brush black velvet set and a stripper I also use some goat hake Japanese for my clear water washes and lately I have added Cat tongue that is a bit stiffer (so I use it for lifting details) and a large Casaneo flat brush both (for architectural washes) from Da Vinci.

My favourite paper is Artistico Fabriano cotton paper, 300gsm and cold press. For sketches and training purposes, I use either Canson Montval (cotton) Watercolour paper or Winsor & Newton sketchbook (cotton). Recently, I have bought a cheaper option of cotton paper that comes from China called Baohong paper that I’ve noticed to be very good, especially for plein air paintings because the wetness stays longer on the paper.

I often carry my supplies everywhere as you never know when you will capture a good story to feel and paint.

My Process

I force myself to draw daily, using exercises to exercise the right side of the brain. For instance, blind sketching or 30 or 60’’ observation drawings of passing people or even drawing what is showing on the TV very quickly and randomly. For drawing, I use common ballpen, 8B Jumbo pencil, or ink pen (UniPen) with coloured pencils using spare paper or either a Kraft sketchbook from Hahnemühle especially when I use the coloured pencils. I love to draw in my sketchbook or on loose cartridge paper too!

My watercolours have been improving during 2017 and 2018 throughout practice, challenges and workshops. First and foremost, I would say the 30×30 Direct Watercolor Challenge 2018 promoted by Marc Taro Holmes was an amazing and life changing experience and my confidence has rocketed.

Secondly, I have done an online workshop with Angela Fehr who is an amazing teacher and artistic coach. With her Watercolour Mastery Online Course, I gained the confidence to rework previous watercolours that I was afraid to try in new approaches and in different sizes.

Achievements

I am very glad that my painting Mana (2018, shown at the beginning of this post) has been selected to be in Fabriano In Watercolour in April 2019 with other outstanding artists from the Brazilian delegation. The painting is named after the Maori word Mana that, for me, means the power of my reconnection to my ancestral pathway with art and my own connection to nature.

Goals for 2019

I am working on some studies from my last trip to Sao Paulo and also some small and larger ones (56×38) inspired in my new home in New Zealand. This year, I want to improve my composition and atmosphere in larger paintings especially urban scenes that are more difficult and rich in details.

Nevertheless, certainly, I still have many brush miles to paint to establish my own style and I know I have to walk slowly and steadily to progress further. Fortunately, I have a stunning backyard to paint and still the memories of my joyful birthplace fresh in my memories.

I got lost and found myself again!

I invite you to travel to my discoveries.

Mila Renault Instagram Facebook Vida Collection

GUEST ARTIST: "Lost & Found" by Mila Renault - #doodlewash #WorldWatercolorGroup #watercolor #watercolour As I write this, I marvel at all of the things that simply fell into place, beginning with losing my job as an urban developer almost three years ago in Brazil, just three months after my husband also lost his.

[thetruthseekerway]

Sarah Price: Reasons for My Reversion to Islam

New Post has been published on http://www.truth-seeker.info/guided-atheists/sarah-price-reasons-for-my-reversion-to-islam/

Sarah Price: Reasons for My Reversion to Islam

By Sarah Price

Islamic. Jihadist. ISIS. Terrorist. Women banned from driving in Saudi Arabia. Burqa. 9/11…unfortunately, the term ‘Muslim’ or ‘Islam’ isn’t always associated with the most positive attributes. In fact, the term ‘Islam’ can inflict some pretty negative connotations in this day and age. For a term that means ‘peaceful submission to God’, it is a religion that is often seen in the media for all the wrong reasons. So, why would a young woman from country Australia who is educated, independent and well-traveled decide to convert to a religion that is widely considered ‘backwards’?

Well, it’s for a multitude of reasons. Although people usually assume it’s for a man. Why else would a woman do that, right? WRONG. Not in my case anyway. It’s pretty dazzling how some people assume these things though. Even asking for halal food at my local university cafe received a snarky comment from the waitress asking if I ‘converted for my boyfriend’. I get confused looks at my fair skin and light eyes, some Australians ask what country I’m from, only to be shocked to hear I am myself an Australian. Australian AND Muslim? The combination is unthinkable to some.

Despite some pretty harsh and rude comments about my change in faith, I’ve also had some amazing people come up to me and ask me why. This ladies and gentleman is the question that I am happy to answer. You don’t have to agree with it – my word, you don’t even have to accept it – but this is my story and reasons which led me over the course of two years to where I am now. Converting to Islam has been no easy task. I’ve been called names, been scrutinized, rejected and fired from jobs, lost friends and had a really difficult time with my family accepting the changes in my life. But with prayer, investigation, lots of reading and researching and talking to people from different faiths and backgrounds has all contributed to my peaceful way of life now.

Yes, I am Muslim. I am also Australian, I’m a journalist, and I am also a traveler. Being a Muslim doesn’t change the elements that makeup who I am as a person. Although you can never truly express what comes from your own heart in your own personal journey, my reversion to Islam was due to three main factors. This is my story and mine alone.

Malaysia

Traveling to Malaysia was definitely the foundation for my conversion to Islam. After deciding on a whim to go on student exchange to Malaysia, I never imagined what a crazy adventure I had set myself up for. Malaysia is my second home. It holds a very special place in my heart and I grew immensely as a person there. I experienced some of the best and worst moments of my life; and the whole experience was filled with color, adventure, and opportunity.

From sleeping in a dirty ferry port for eight hours, getting lost in a rainforest on Tioman Island (and trying to make it back before dark), riding on motorbikes in Penang and scuba-diving in Perhentian Islands, these were just the beginning of my adventure there. I was getting out of my comfort zone in Malaysia and exposed to things I had never seen as a small town Australian girl from Gippsland. Nothing went to plan nor was expected in Malaysia.

Before Malaysia, I knew nothing about Islam. I had never met a Muslim (to my knowledge) and I always thought of Muslims as wearing heavy black garments somewhere in the Middle East, far, far away from ‘civilization’. Yes, I also thought Muslim women were oppressed. That they couldn’t go anywhere without their husbands, that they couldn’t have careers, and had to wear black all the time. Not that I really thought about it much, I was always in my own bubble of society to ponder too much about it. So, my somewhat fabricated image of Islam was shattered when I came to Malaysia. Suddenly, I found myself becoming curious of the pretty South-East Asian Muslim girls with their colorful hijabs and clothes. I met many Muslim friends – who became life-long friends- who went to university, who had jobs, who wore veils and also many who didn’t, and they all seemed quite content and loved their religion.

Being a journalism student, I’ve always been an open-minded person and have a lust for the unknown. Islam quickly became a mysterious religion I wanted to learn more about. That’s when I decided to do one of my investigative articles about Muslim women’s rights. THIS was the beginning of everything. My eyes and mind were completed opened and bursting with knowledge about Islam and the fact that WOMEN HAVE MANY RIGHTS IN ISLAM! In fact, Muslim women were legally given rights (that’s including divorce, land rights, monetary rights, the right to choose who to marry, etc.) in the Qur’an and Hadiths hundreds of years before Western women were legally given the same rights. There’s even a whole chapter about Women in the Qur’an. Men are taught to lower their gaze, and to treat women and their wives with utmost respect because this is favored in God’s eyes. THIS, of course, does not mean Muslims are sinless. People need to differentiate between culture, politics and religion. We humans are not perfect, in fact far from it. Even I learned this in Malaysia – instead of judging a whole religion on a few people’s actions, look into the religion and what it teaches. When I first stepped into a mosque, I felt an immediate sense of calm and peace. I even interviewed an imam. The strong yet humble cry of the call to prayer invoked feelings in me I had never felt before. When I first bowed my head toward the Ka’ba, I felt home in my heart. I didn’t convert to Islam in Malaysia – I was to over a year later – but it introduced me in a beautiful way to Islam and to the Oneness of God.

As each day passed in Malaysia, and with each experience I lived, it dawned on me that I was starting to outgrow the sheltered life I was living back home in my country town, and the various stereotypes placed on society from culture to culture. Malaysia was having an effect on me far greater than the boundaries of Monash University, cool clubs and intriguing food; it was the people itself and the lessons I was learning. I realized that every little moment in Malaysia would be some of my best. I was definitely not the same girl that left Melbourne airport for this unexpected journey I grew immensely, while paradoxically also finding myself and what I’m truly capable of. I was a girl who was insecure and always feeling confined and trapped in the community I was living in – Malaysia, in a way, set me free. While we can’t be sure of much in this world, I know without a shadow of a doubt that going to Malaysia randomly was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Malaysia didn’t turn out as I imagined or planned, and that in itself made it so wonderful. It taught me to believe in my own capabilities and in myself more than ever, and that comes with taking a deep breath and stepping into the world on your own for the very first time.

Malaysia gave me adventure. It kick started my career in journalism. It allowed me to meet wonderful, terrible yet interesting people. But most importantly…Malaysia gave me Islam. I truly believe I was meant to go there.

Christianity

I was a very strong Christian before converting to Islam. It’s an extremely focal point of my faith journey and without it I would not be a Muslim.

My love for Jesus (peace be upon him) actually led me to Islam. Christianity is actually the closest religion to Islam, not only theoretically but also historically. There are many misconceptions about what Islam teaches about Christianity. To begin, the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) wrote a letter regarding how Muslims should treat Christians. To summarize it, we are to treat Christians with respect, and even if a Muslim man is married to a Christian woman, she cannot be stopped from praying in her place of worship. In Surat Al-Mai’dah (The Table Spread), 5:82, this is what it says – ‘and you will find the nearest of them in affection to the believers who say, “We are the Christians”. That is because among them are priests and monks and because they are not arrogant’. Amen. Christians and Jews are commonly referred to as ‘People of the Book’ in Islam, because we all have the same Abrahamic roots. Jesus’ (pbuh) name is actually mentioned more times in the Qur’an than the Prophet Muhammad’s (pbuh). Muslims still believe in the virgin birth and place importance on Mary (may Allah be pleased with her). Jesus (pbuh) is an important figure and you cannot be a Muslim without believing in the life and work of Jesus (pbuh). I could write a huge post about this, which I will discuss further in future blog posts. Jesus (pbuh) prostrated and humbled himself before God. He only performed miracles under God’s permission. He was an incredible prophet who taught love and compassion to the children of Israel. The only difference between Christians and Muslims is that we take Jesus (pbuh) to be a prophet and not to be worshipped alongside God. Islam teaches the Oneness of God, and to worship Allah (swt) alone and we believe that Jesus (pbuh) taught this himself. The term ‘Allah’, by the way, is the Arabic word for ‘God’ and is not just an Islamic term. Arab Christians also call God ‘Allah’.

I love most aspects of Christianity. I love how it teaches compassion, mercy, love and all the good things that we human beings should aspire to be. I loved all my Christian friends, I think they are wonderful people and I will always pray for them. I think it is wonderful that many churches are so active in the community and want to do good things in society and help others. However, after returning from Malaysia I felt like something was missing. I researched key aspects and foundations of Christianity, right down to the trinity and where the concept came from. I researched what Paul taught, what various historical leaders implemented after the death of Christ and I read my Bible inside out. I researched on what has been taken out of the Bible, what has been put in and the various contradictions and solid truths of the Bible. There are similarities between the Qur’an and the Bible. For me, the Qur’an answered many questions I had about my Christian faith for a long time. I could find no fault, no contradictions in the Qur’an. I listened to debates between world-renowned Biblical and Qur’anic scholars, and felt that the Qur’an made more sense.

However, even when I found Islam to be the truth for me, it was very hard for me to actually leave Christianity. Religion has always been the most important thing in my life, and I wanted to make sure I was converting to Islam with all my heart and for all the right reasons. Converting to Islam meant I had certain obligations – praying at least five times a day, giving more to charity, wearing more modest clothing (a choice that I gradually implemented in my life) and give up drinking (drinking is forbidden in Islam). This is a mammoth change; as much as I didn’t want to leave the safe haven of the church, I also knew I had to follow my heart to what I believe whole-heartedly is the complete truth. I didn’t see converting to Islam as so drastically different to Christianity however I saw it more as an update of my faith, for many reasons.

I wasn’t born into Christianity. I was not baptized as a child because my parents wanted me to make my own decisions about what I wanted to believe in. I will always be grateful to them for that. My Grandmother taught me about the Bible and I still cherish all the talks we have about the Bible and Christianity. However I could never really find a church I liked – I found them all very different from each other and I didn’t like how much emphasis is placed on the differences between each church even though they claim to follow Jesus (pbuh). I went to Catholic churches, Lutheran, Seventh Day Adventists, Jehovah’s Witness, Baptist, Pentecostal, and the list goes on. However, I was against really going to a particular church because I just wanted to follow and love God. I was actually baptized at the beginning of my trip in Malaysia, on the coastal waters of Penang under a starry night sky. However, I was baptized just as a Christian. No church involved, which I liked. Although I quickly became interested in Islam, changing religion from Christianity to Islam was the hardest decision I have ever made, but it was the right one for me.

Christianity taught me to love God. It taught me humility, it taught me to love others, and it taught me a lot about Jesus (pbuh). I would not be who I am if I wasn’t once a Christian.

Journalism

My sheer drive to be a journalist has taken me to places I never imagined and allowed me to meet amazing people. I’ve interviewed famous people such as One Republic, Bastille, Marina Mahathir, Kristian Chong, Yannick Bovy, Sisters in Islam, Virginia Haussegger, Senator Michaelia Cash, VJ’s Hanli Hoefer and Alan Wong and the list goes on. I’ve been to incredible events and interned at really great places. I am very fortunate to have experienced so much at such a young age while still completing my undergraduate degree in journalism. However, the best part of being a journalist is being able to make some change in the world. To give people a voice, to learn about human beings and the world around me. This is so humbling and motivates me every day. Being a journalist led me to learn about Islam. Yes, I am still a journalist and still as motivated (if not more) as a Muslim woman. Incorporating my faith and career is not a difficult task, and in fact Islam helps me to appreciate people and the world around me in many different ways.

Interviewing UN Person of the Year, passionate leader of SIS (Sisters in Islam), writer and strong advocate for women’s rights Marina Mahathir definitely shaped my view of Muslim women’s rights and of Islam itself. I still remember how sweaty my palms were. A million thoughts were rushing through my head. ‘Am I good enough?’ ‘Am I really cut out for journalism?’ This was my first interview with someone quite famous. As soon as I met Marina, her quiet yet assertive nature impressed me and I immediately felt a sense of ease with her. I knew the interview was an important one, a life-changing one. She answered so many questions I had been asking myself since arriving in Malaysia. The Qur’an does not teach inequality. It does not permit men to beat their wives. Her knowledge was exuberating, and I felt as if I had a newfound understanding of something much bigger and deeper than I ever thought possible. “We are all one people on this Earth,” said Marina as we finished the interview. I smiled at her in appreciation, and looking back now I know that was the most important lesson I had learned thus far. Despite various factors that apparently make us so different – such as national borders, countries, politics, culture, tribes, heritage, skin color, race and religion – we all bleed the same and breathe the same air. I think we should all try to remember this daily.

Whenever I have travelled – from tropical Malaysia, to the wilderness of Africa, to the prestige of London and the historical greatness of Ireland – I find a story where ever I go. Of course, in my great country Australia too. All you have to do is listen, and you find soon enough that everybody has a story. Incredible ones. The human race both disappoints and truly inspires me, and I hope to convey that in my writing. People say journalists are bad people – but I have only met great journalists, editors and reporters who I have learned a great deal from and motivated me to become better. Because in the journalistic field, you never really stop learning. There’s always room for improvement, and journalists have an important role in society to inform the public of the world around them. The most vital thing I’ve learnt in Islam which I incorporate into journalism is no matter what evil and good I see in people, it’s important not to judge too harshly (that would be bias for one, we need to be as objective as possible in our reporting) because EVERYONE is capable of anything. ‘The greatest jihad (struggle) is to battle your own soul; to fight the very evil within yourself,’ Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). We can always look at others and improve certain things about ourselves. There’s so much worldly wisdom in this one quote, and it truly inspires and humbles me.

But let me not disillusion you – becoming a Muslim and incorporating it into my way of life has not been easy in the slightest. It’s hard, and you learn more every day. People judge you, even Muslims judge you. I’m not going to just put some holy light around it…being a Muslim has tested my patience more than ever before, more than I ever imagined. But they say the right path is not always the easiest one – and despite how hard it is at times, it also brings an incredible sense of peace in my heart and into my life. I wouldn’t have it any other way. It is part of me now, but not all of me. It makes me happy, it makes me cry, and it makes me question a lot of things about society and about the Dunya (this life).

All I can say is that I find rest with Allah (swt), and no matter what I go through, I know I am never alone every time I make Salat to my Creator. Truly, ‘verily with every hardship comes ease’ (Al-Inshirah 94:6).

———-

Sarah Price is a 23-year-old Master of Journalism student at Monash University in Australia. She converted to Islam in 2014, after a trip to Malaysia inspired her to learn more.

[lindyhunt]

How to Get Sponsored on Instagram (Even if You Currently Have 0 Followers)

It's no surprise you want to become a paid Instagram influencer -- heck, the average price for a sponsored Instagram post is $300, and if you become more successful, like yogi Rachel Brathen, you could be making $25,000 per post.

But the idea of getting your posts sponsored might seem laughable to you. You're not posting pictures skydiving in Australia -- you're posting pictures of your brunch. However, you could be more marketable than you think.

Instagram has become an insanely popular channel for brands to promote their products. In fact, Influencer Central found consumers consider Instagram to be the sixth most effective at influencing their purchasing decisions.

Instagram's popularity might make you feel the platform is already too crowded for you to stand out. But here's the thing -- brands are quickly realizing the power of normal people to promote their products. Micro-influencers, or people with a small number of followers compared to the big players, see the most engagement out of their audience.

Think of it this way -- I'm going to trust my best friend's advice over Kim Kardashian's when I'm purchasing a product. I trust my best friend, we share similar interests, and I know she's genuine with her advice (no offense, Kim … ).

It's the same concept for micro-influencers -- with the right strategy, your audience will begin to see you as one of their real friends. The more they trust your advice when seeking out purchasing decisions, the more likely you are to get sponsored.

Here, we're going to show you everything you need to do to get sponsored on Instagram, even if you currently have zero followers.

How to get paid on Instagram

Define your brand

Know your audience

Post consistently

Use hashtags and geotags

Tag brands in your posts

Include contact information in your bio

Pitch paid sponsorships

Know your worth

1. Define Your Brand

You'll see the best engagement if you're able to define your niche. Do you want to post food and health related content, or focus on fashion? Whatever the case, it's important to establish your brand.

Besides the type of content you post, branding has a lot to do with your overall aesthetic. How do you want to style your posts? What's your messaging? To further solidify your brand, you might want to consider creating a cohesive feed theme (use these feeds for inspiration).

Specificity is key. A good influencer's posts are distinguishable and unique -- when a user is flipping through her feed, she'll be able to pause and recognize every time she sees a post from that influencer. As she continues to see similar content, she'll grow to trust that brand as an expert in the field. If the influencer suddenly and randomly changed course, the user might not understand or trust the content anymore.

Additionally, you might want to connect your Instagram brand with an online presence. Creating a website with similar aesthetic and messaging is a good way to do this -- the more you unify your social media accounts, the easier it will be for brands to distinguish how you can help them.

2. Know Your Audience

Knowing your audience is critical for convincing a brand to work with you. It's mutually beneficial for you, as well -- if you understand your audience, you're able to correctly identify which brands will see the most success from using you as their sponsor.

Start by gathering the basics -- what is the gender, age, and geographical location of your core demographic? Which of your posts do they like the best? What times of day do they respond best to content, and what can you infer from this?

The demographic information you gather will help you pitch partnerships with brands. Brands want to know who they can reach if they work with you. Explaining "You'll be reaching thirty-something, working women, primarily from New York, who often use Instagram first thing in the morning and prefer fitness content" is certainly more powerful than saying, "You'll be reaching women."

3. Post Consistently

CoSchedule gathered research from 14 studies to identity how often you should post on social media sites. For Instagram, they found you should post a minimum of once a day, but can post upwards of three times a day.

CoSchedule also found 8:00 AM to 9:00 AM, and 2:00 AM, are the best times to post.

To grow your following, it's critical you post at least once a day. Instagram's algorithm favors new and fresh content, and you don't want your audience to unfollow you or forget about you from lack of consistency.

However, you'll need to figure out what works best for you and your audience. Perhaps your audience feels bombarded when you post three times a day, or maybe they prefer it. Maybe your audience engages most with your posts at noon. It will take some trial and error, as well as Instagram metrics tools, to figure this out.

4. Use Hashtags and Geotags

Hashtags make your content more discoverable, so they're necessary for growing your following. You can use up to 30 hashtags per post, but TrackMaven found nine to be the optimal number for boosting engagement.

You'll want to use hashtags as relevant to your content as possible. You'll also need to check to make sure the hashtags you use aren't broken or banned (take a look at this list of banned hashtags if you're unsure).

It's critical you choose hashtags that aren't too broad. #Healthyliving, for instance, has over 20,000,000 posts, while #healthylivingtips only has 13,000. The less competition, the easier it will be for your content to get discovered.

When you peruse a hashtag's page, you can also get a deeper sense of what types of content your post will be up against. #Healthylivingtips might typically feature posts with food recipes, while your post is about cycling -- this could defer you from using that hashtag.

Geotags are equally important, but for a different reason. Geotags can help people find you if they're interested in a certain location. This helps you gain more followers, and it also helps you appeal to brands that are interested in reaching a certain demographic. For instance, maybe a boutique sees you often post fashion tips from the California area, and they're looking to appeal to people in that region -- it's a win, win.

5. Tag Brands in Your Posts

Okay, now you're officially ready to begin reaching out to brands. You've defined your brand and audience and have created some quality, authentic posts. Now, you should have a pretty good idea what types of businesses would benefit from a partnership with you.

It's important to start small. If you're interested in skincare, don't go straight for Estee Lauder -- instead, try tagging small skincare start-ups you've seen across Instagram already.

Let's take a look at an example -- @Tzibirita, a travel influencer, posted this image of herself wearing a Paul Hewitt watch. The image is high-quality and fits with her brand, and she tags @paul_hewitt in her description. Even if you're not paid by Paul Hewitt, you can still post the same type of content and tag their brand in the post. Ideally, it will at least put you on their radar.

Begin with small brands and tag them in your descriptions. Engage with your audience by responding to comments like "Where can I get one?" or "How much?" and the brand will soon see you've proven yourself a suitable sales partner.

6. Include Contact Information In Your Bio

Consider your bio a chance to signal to brands your interest in becoming an influencer. Include an email or website so they can reach you, and include a press kit if possible.

For instance, @tzibirita doesn't waste her bio space. She includes her email and website, and even adds a title -- "content creator". Brands will have no doubt she's open to doing business with them.

Furthermore, you should use a website or blog as your chance to expand on your brand and demonstrate your versatility. Consider adding a Press Page to your website, so brands can take a look at your services. Once you begin sponsoring brands, you can add them to this page so brands can see you have influencer experience.

7. Pitch Paid Sponsorships

There's nothing wrong with reaching out to brands and offering your services. With the right pitch, you might be able to land some gigs without waiting for brands to find you.

Look for brands that clearly invest time and money into their Instagram presence. You might start by researching what similar influencers in your industry already sponsor. Remember, it's okay to start small. Working with smaller brands will allow you to build a portfolio.

Once you've curated a list of brands that might want to partner with you, send them an email. In your pitch, clearly and briefly outline who you are, what you do, and any achievements you have in the field that make you an expert. Then, explain why you're a good fit for the brand, and include data such as follower count and average engagement rate.

Alternatively, you might consider sending a brand a DM straight from Instagram. It's certainly more relevant to the job you're vying for, but it might get lost if a brand get hundreds of DMs a day.

8. Know Your Worth

Make sure you know how much you're going to charge when brands reach out to you. The industry standard is $10 for 1,000 followers, but it could also vary depending on how many likes you get per post. Additionally, as you grow, you'll be able to charge more.

While you'll want to have a minimum set, you can negotiate to encourage brands to pay more. Perhaps for $300, you'll throw in five Instagram Story posts, and a link in your bio to their website for 24 hours. You can use other Instagram features to sweeten the deal.

Using #ad and #spon

In the past couple years, brands have come under fire for hiring influencers but not making it clear to the audience that these influencers were getting paid.

Department store Lord & Taylor, for instance, settled charges with the FTC in 2016 after paying 50 influencers to wear a dress in their posts without hashtagging #sponsorship or #ad.

Influencers are supposed to hashtag #ad or #sponsored in posts they're being paid for, but these tags make some brands uncomfortable because it makes the post appear inauthentic.

In 2017, Instagram released a paid partnership feature to combat this issue -- if you tag a brand in a post and the brand confirms the relationship, the ad will be marked at the top with a "paid partnership" label. This also helps the brand gather data regarding how well the campaign is performing.

It's critical your followers know if you're getting paid to promote a product. Ethics aside, it could destroy your account's credibility if you're caught, and lose everything you've worked hard to build -- namely, an authentic, trusting community.

If you truly don't want to post #ad or #spon, there are some ways around it -- for instance, Airbnb created the hashtag #Airbnb_partner, to signal a paid partnership without using the word "ad".

When in doubt, adhere to Instagram's policies. You can read Instagram's branded content policies in full here.

Ultimately, getting sponsored on Instagram isn't easy -- it takes time, effort, and perseverance. But if you work hard to differentiate yourself in the industry, and connect on a personal level with your followers, it can be extraordinarily rewarding.

[booksbroadwaybbc]

Digital Detox via /r/selfimprovement

Digital Detox

We wake up, we look at our phone. We shower, we look at our phone. We get dressed, we check the time on our phone. Then we look at our phone. When we think of a staple, we typically think of foods that constitute a dominant portion of our meals. By that measure, your cellphone and social media are staples. Technology plays a huge role in our lives; it is highly beneficial and necessary. However, we need to unplug ourselves every so often. Just as your electronics are constantly running, so is your mind. Sometime we just need to detach those two things and snap back into reality.

Social media is awesome. We wouldn’t be where we are today without it – but is it controlling you, or are you controlling it?

Taking a breather from social media is a great idea and something everyone should think of doing, sooner rather than later.

Taking a Social Media Breather: Why it’s crucial to log off social media once in a while

The comfort zone.

How many of you struggle with stepping out of your comfort zone?

I know I do. I tend to stay where the view is nice, but the altitude is not so high. See, I’m afraid of heights, yet I love being in the mountains. I used to live in this little box where I often decided to step out and be me, but somehow society always made me feel like I just belonged in the box. I felt cast away and frowned upon for being different.  We’re all different.

I had realized that society did not shape the “me” that I am today. I now understand that I'm supposed to do that myself. The struggles I faced to be who I am  started a long time ago, and yet I just recently realized who I am. I want you to know that it’s okay to not know who you are just yet.  As a human, I am allowed to make mistakes, to hurt, to question. When you’re 15 and lost, you tend to do that often. Then the search for yourself begins. My struggle with social media started as soon as I went from being a young innocent kid to a rebellious high school teenager. See, we were all introduced to Facebook as kids – at least, I was. Well, I started with MySpace, copying and pasting codes to pimp out my profile, pretty much to the point where I learned most of the code by heart and coping was no longer necessary. 

I spent most of my school nights trying to ‘fit in’. Trying to make friends online, or finding whatever was trending to share. I was already struggling to fit in at school because I was the new girl, the new girl with broken English. I was also extremely odd. My parents thought I was rebellious, but I was probably the sweetest girl in school. I had very few friends to begin with. I could never vent and share my personal experiences with friends, because I had so few friends. I felt lonely. Facebook was my friend. To fill the this void, I began to write random posts online. Not too long, short, but to the point. These posts had a lot to do with my emotional state. Most of the time, I wanted everyone to know what I was doing; that way, they would be interested in me. The first person to ever tell me my writing wasn’t any good — aside from the mean comments — was someone very, very close to me. This cut pretty deep, because this person meant a lot to me. I was able to speak my mind and it helped to fill that void that I was so desperate to fill. I stopped writing, because the idea of doing something that actively turned off someone so close to me broke me. I was broken anyway. I had a horrible relationship with my parents at home; in fact, it was so bad that I used to get into physical fights with my dad. This was all because I lied to them about my high school boyfriend. As a result of my rebellious tendencies, I was never allowed to do anything with the few friends I had. I never had the chance to experience most of the things that children my age did. Sleepovers, going to the movies with friends, birthday parties. I was never allowed to do any of those. My parents didn’t even let me sleep over at my cousin’s place!

I was stuck in ‘screen relationships’, sending out about 100 snaps/messages a day. Posting on my story at least 300 seconds a day – the original DJ Khaled! I was reading nonsense tweets and retweeting, hoping they would fill the void of loneliness. I felt nothing, I was empty. I spent about 6 hours of my day sleeping, 7 hours at school/work and 10 hours plugged in, on the screen. Homework was not necessary; filling the void of loneliness was. I was addicted. Even at school, I needed to always be posting, messaging, snapping something. 

About two years ago, I started to notice that I wasn’t taking selfies anymore. It’s not because I thought they were silly. It was because I did not love myself enough. I was no longer in love with my face and body. Was I ever in love with myself? My self-esteem was low – so low that I was afraid of people staring at me. Aside from realizing I had low self-esteem, I had also come to the realization that I was not proud of my accomplishments. Why did I not love myself physically and mentally? I was numb to the things around me, so I began to question reality. There were times where I just sat alone in a room, wondering why I was still around. What was the point of all this? What was my purpose here? This is where it all started for me. This is when I knew I had to do something to fix this plague of low self-esteem. I sat down and created a list, a list about myself. On one side, I listed the things I was proud of; on the other side, the things that I was not so proud of. To fix all of these problems, I had to get rid of all the crazy distractions in my life. I had to be honest with myself and find the core issue that was causing all the things that didn’t make me proud of myself. The use of social media and frequent partying topped the list.  This is how I started my 6-month social media cleanse.

If you're thinking about doing the cleanse, feel free to take any of my ideas and try them yourself. See what works for you.

Delete every social media app. (You don’t need to deactivate your accounts) I started small. I’ve heard of so many scenarios where people delete their actual accounts and end up regretting it and logging in before the account is fully deactivated. These platforms hold our digital lives on them, so removing ourselves completely from them can be hard. Starting small and doing it on your own gives you a sort of reassurance that your account will not go anywhere. 

Here are a couple examples of the apps I considered distracting: 

Snapchat

Instagram

Facebook 

Twitter

Pinterest 

In the first couple of days of my detox, I would listen to music as I went about my day. I slowly started to realize that I was getting a lot more done. I was left with a lot of free time! However, I caught myself roaming through the music apps. Literally, just randomly browsing music.  Since I had no other distractions, I was on the search for good music. This was not helping me put my phone down. Explore new ways to take in content

In my free time, I still wanted to consume new content. You should never stop learning. I logged into a couple of other apps that had nothing to do with keeping up with others on the internet. By being open to new platforms. Here are the two apps I used frequently: 1. Medium - This app is full of great minds. Medium is considered a blog host. It is a platform where bloggers post their work. It’s easy to maneuver, and you have a mixture of amateur and professional publications. The app itself is an example of social journalism. Although it’s super-distracting at times, the app does a great job at restricting how many post you can read in a month. Unfortunately, if you really enjoy the app, there is a monthly membership you will have to sign up for.

2. Podcasts - I made a decision to replace music and listen to daily podcasts instead. Hands down, the best decision of my life. Music is good, but podcasts stimulate your mind. By subscribing to many users on the iTunes podcast platform, I opened myself up to not only new possibilities, but new ideas. 

I began subscribing to different users based on my interests. I was distracted. The distractions were not bad though; they kept me grounded, satisfied my thirst for knowledge, and helped me focus on what was important. 

A few days into this process, I started to notice a difference in how I approached my depression and social anxiety. What I gained from my Social Media Detox 1. Less Anxiety and More Happiness Study after study has shown that people who check email frequently or use social media excessively experience greater levels of anxiety. Information overload! My own tendencies for anxiety are probably higher than average. By day 2, I noticed that my anxiety had gone down significantly. I felt calmer, happier, and because I wasn’t seeing things that everyone else was posting, I was comparing less and creating more. 2. Presence I wasn’t documenting every moment – I was actually living each one, and fully engaged in it. My meals with friends and my school days were much more enjoyable because I was present and fully engaged in both. I learned to be intrinsically motivated, to do anything and everything for myself, posting on social media only to motivate myself. Some people are extrinsically motivated; they post for others. They post for the likes to lift their self-esteem.  3. Increased Focus Large creative projects, like schoolwork or writing a blog post, require intense focus. By giving up social media, I found that my level of focus increased. I was able to maintain a deep focus for longer periods of time. It turns out that quitting social media for a few days at a time is a great way to build your deep work muscle and experience flow on a more consistent basis. Deleting social media was the best decision I have ever made. It’s allowed me to get closer to my family, more disciplined in my studies, eat mindfully and healthier, work out more, and has given me plenty of free time to read as many books as I’d like. Life is great!

Like anything in life, moderation is key. But when you’re taking your last breath on this earth, will you be thankful for all the Snapchats you’ve sent and regret the missed chances of actual relationship-building, or will you remember all the moments of joy you shared with family and friends?  You don't have to give up social media completely. Your FOMO shouldn't make you anxious, either. Every month, I choose to download at least one social media app at a time and introduce it slowly into my life.

I hope my tips can help you! Give them a try, and let me know how it goes. 

Submitted June 13, 2018 at 03:00AM by findurapiotr via reddit https://ift.tt/2JIhzR0

[thefashionraptor-blog]

10 Things I Hate about Gucci

10. “But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you; Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.” – Kate, 10 Things I Hate About You

From: http://giphy.com/gifs/movie-10-things-i-hate-about-you-julia-stiles-lBbfElBkTtxzW/download

Let it be known that despite the title of this post, I actually don’t hate Gucci. In fact, among all the luxury ‘you’ll have to sell 2 kidneys and half your liver to afford anything’ high-end brands, Gucci happens to be my favorite.

From http://img.mytheresa.com/1088/1088/66/jpeg/catalog/product/60/P00192776.jpg

It’s hard to pinpoint why exactly, but I guess it’s mostly due to the pictured above blouse. Back before I became “fashionably aware”, I randomly came across that blouse and promptly fell in love with it. It’s a small puzzle piece contributor to this whole endeavor and partially inspired me to invest more money, time, thought, and energy into my own appearance.

And as you can see by the iconic tag at the Peter Pan collar, this is a Gucci blouse …

… Which means that while it has earned my affection for the company, it also ensures that I will never ever be able to afford it.

Fate is cruel.

From https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/43/d0/25/43d025a5d55ec29bfe6743abe714661a.jpg

“O Gucci, Gucci, wherefore art thou Gucci? Deny thy fabric and refuse thy name tag. Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love and I’ll no longer be comparatively poor.”

9. Gucci is Italian, wonderfully, terribly Italian.

According to the Fashion Model Directory website, Gucci was started by a man named Guccio Gucci. Residing in Florence, Italy in the 1890’s, his family began with a small business in saddles and leather goods.

When Gucci decided to travel in 1898, he found himself in the Crown Jewels of Europe, London and Paris, and from them established a taste of “cosmopolitan culture, sophistication, and aesthetics”.

In 1921, Gucci opened his first boutique and developed a reputation for being very high quality and only hiring the most skilled of craftsmen.

Guccio’s own personal designs including the bamboo handle purse and the loafer shoe with a gilded snaffle gained the company notoriety and great success.

From http://www.fashionmodeldirectory.com/designers/guccio-gucci/

Though Gucci passed away in 1953, his sons carried on the Gucci name and expanded, opening stores in London, Paris, and New York.

Despite great amounts of handbag flinging family drama and a bankruptcy scare, Gucci remains one of the most prestigious, world renown luxury companies today.

You know I’m a sucker for a company with a great, interesting, Italian history.

8. Gucci exists in a weird land where utility fashion and artistic fashion cross over so you have very normal clothes mixed in with the bizarre

Browsing through the Gucci website and pretending you have significant amounts of money for a short while, you’ll run into looks like the following:

Despite the fact these models look like you’ve just grossly insulted each of their mothers and their pet cats for good measure, these outfits look relatively normal despite their multi-thousand dollar price tags. I feel most people would have no qualms about wearing this stuff out on an average, go about your typical business kind of day.

But then, you also have these (and to be fair, most of these are from the runway):

Maybe I’m just too closed minded – my poor little peasant brain can’t fathom such fabulous artistry. However, these outfits adopt such fantastical extravagance that I cannot imagine seeing them in an average out and about setting.

I always try to be fair when I say I don’t like the look of something. Here, a lot of these outfits have details and patterns that are just too “loud” and overdone for my taste. In some specific cases, I’m just reminded of absurd things which prevent me from considering the outfits seriously. The second picture down has the distinct feel of “over 90 and still kickin’ it at the bingo tables” (I blame the hair wrap, the oversized glasses, and the suddenly toned down, slightly frumpy blazer) and the one following looks like a Thing from Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat because of the color scheme.

I suppose that people wanting to drop this much money want to make a memorable, definitive, artistic statement. However, to a layman like me, the appeal of these specific ensembles is pretty much lost.

Honorable Mention:

Honestly, I really kind of like this dress. I would totally wear it if I were rich and were invited to a big celebrity only event like the Oscars or something. Primarily because it’s so delightfully colorful and 80’s looking and I’d feel like I should be battling Sailor Moon in it and trying to take over the world:

From http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/sailormoon/images/a/a4/Sm046_20.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20141206020040

7. You had to drag Tom Hiddleston into this, didn’t you?

6. Gucci lured me into spending $720 on a sweater

Yes, for all my moaning about being poor, I somehow scraped enough couch treasure together and skipped enough meals to become a first time (and probably one time) Gucci customer.

Now, before you yell at me, yes, I know this is technically a man’s sweater. It just so happens that I like the red bee pattern and Gucci doesn’t sell women’s sweaters with that pattern.

What’s up with that, Gucci? Get on it!

Besides the pattern, I was hooked on the idea that the exorbitant price reflected the sweater’s quality and thus, the money put forth would be worth it. I imagined myself $720 poorer, but with a super high quality, keep me warm in the coldest of climates and feel like an angel embracing me while whispering “all is well in the world and I love you” Gucci sweater.

5. Receiving a package from Gucci is like receiving a letter from your foreign, royal grandmother who is writing to let you know that you’re next in line for the crown and it’d be nice if you wore this hand knit sweater for the coronation.

4. Due to reading various horror stories about Gucci’s very particular customer service, trying on this sweater was the second scariest experience of my life. My life flashed before my eyes as my head went through the collar …

I did a lot of debating and self-reflection before buying this sweater – going out on self-realizing spiritual journies to search my soul of its most desperate desires … And of course browsing reviews on the internet.

Coming across ConsumerAffairs.com, I found a plethora of complaints about Gucci’s customer service ranging from rudeness to complicated warranties to extremely picky return policies. To say the least, I wasn’t exactly comforted by what I read.

Vowing to be extraordinarily careful, I went ahead and put my order in. When the sweater came, fear of a return being unaccepted made handling the sweater feel like transporting a sensitive explosive. I was scared that one foreign hair or one slightly shifted thread would leave me stuck.

It was a very stressful period in my life.

3. The sweater was see through in the front and felt very, very delicate.

Behold! The $720 sweater. I can only think of one other thing I’ve worn that was slightly more expensive and that was a bridesmaid’s gown for my best friend’s wedding.

Honestly, I didn’t hate it. It felt pretty comfortable and looking at these pictures, I like how it looks on me.

However, though you can’t really tell in these pictures, the sweater was slightly see through. It was see through enough that if you were talking to me, you could tell my color preferences when it comes to certain undergarments.

Now, that’s nothing an undershirt won’t solve, but I was surprised with how fragile the material felt. Though it was merino wool and that stuff is great for keeping you warm, it felt like one too strong pull could turn the thing to shreds.

Overall, I liked the sweater and I would’ve kept it …

If it hadn’t been $720.

For me, despite all I knew about Gucci, this did not feel like a $720 sweater that I could let myself keep. It felt overpriced and if I had kept it, I would’ve been slightly disgusted with myself for putting out so much money for something with which I wasn’t absolutely in love and something that didn’t feel worth the price tag.

2. Wrapping the sweater back up felt like handling a national document and they make you pay for return shipping.

Continuously paranoid about getting on Gucci’s bad side, I wanted to make sure the sweater went back in as nice a packaging as what I received.

That wasn’t easy.

I had a friend help me fold the sweater back up and slip it back into the tissue paper. Said friend rightfully compared the experience to trying to transport the Declaration of Indepence, shooting down all hopes of us starring in National Treasure 3 along side Nicholas Cage.

Also, they make you pay for return shipping which isn’t unheard of with clothing companies, but it’s stil kind of a bummer.

1. It’s all in your head.

Out of curiosity, I did some research into why Gucci charges so much for its merchandise.

Some of it is obvious. Gucci uses high-quality imported materials, much of the embroidery is done by hand, and the workmanship that goes into each item is top of the line.

However, there’s another side to it, a psychological side.

Gucci wants to make its merchandise hard to afford.

You’d think that’d be counterproductive for a company. By keeping prices within a certain wealth bracket, the customer pool becomes limited to the generally wealthy and the few people who can afford one or two items after a whole lot of saving up.

Why would a company want to limit the availability and accessibility of its merchandise?

Symbolism.

Because Gucci keeps itself within a high wealth bracket, its merchandise becomes synonymous with the rich and the elite. The Gucci logo becomes an immediate symbol of higher status and higher wealth.

It’s Gucci’s way of maintaining its high quality, high status reputation. It only wants to be seen on the people who can afford it and carry on that association between itself and the upper class.

When you hear the name ‘Gucci’, you immediately associate it with luxury, with celebrity, with fame, with importance, with the sparkly things dreams are made of, etc.

This is why a lot of songs about self-importance will name drop companies like ‘Gucci’. It’s because the name alone can get the point across: I have the money and the class and the importance to wear [insert high end luxury brand here].

Despite everything, I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Gucci. It’s my ‘one day when I’m stinkin’ rich’ go to daydream company.

And hey, maybe when I’m wealthy enough so that $720 is proportionally equivalent to $120, maybe I’ll buy back that sweater [yes, by the way, Gucci was kind enough to take their sweater back and send me a refund without incident].

For now, I’m happy to admire them from down here with all the other peasants.

Stay lovely, stay Gucci!

– The Fashion Raptor

[tpohappiness-blog]

Start this Weekend | 10 Ways to Become More Self-Sufficient

New Post has been published on http://thepursuitofhappiness.me/10-ways-to-become-more-self-sufficient/

Start this Weekend | 10 Ways to Become More Self-Sufficient

Did Human Planet get you thinking about how to become just a little bit more self-sufficient in your current circumstance?  We’ve compiled a list of 10 ways that can help jump-start you on the journey to self-sufficiency.

Vegetable Gardening

Creating your own vegetable garden can be quite fulfilling, especially when you eat your first salad with fresh and tasty ingredients from your very own garden. A nice side-effect is the savings in the produce department at the grocery store.  Assuming of course you don’t kill your crop of spinach, like I did the first year I tried to grow spinach… and broccoli – but we won’t be getting into that.

Reading resource:

Herb Gardening

Tired of that same ole’ flavor of oatmeal and eggs in the morning?  Check out these recipes with herbs from your very own plants!  In my experience, Herbs are generally easy to grow and require much less maintenance than growing vegetables.  I have Oregano and Rosemary that I’ve neglected for a couple years now and they are still producing more than enough flavor for my family.

  Planting Fruit or Nut Trees

While not as immediately fruitful (#haha) as vegetable or herb gardens, this is a great way to not only supplement your grocery bill but have some of the freshest produce for years to come. My three lemon trees produce more than enough lemons (I have well over 100 lemons each season) for this freshly squeezed lemonade recipe:

Yummy Lemonade

3/4 cup Brown Sugar

3/4 cup Granulated Sugar

2 cups squeezed lemon juice (about 9-11 large lemons depending on your squeezing skills)

5 cups cold water

Plant a Medicinal Herb Garden

I have Aloe Vera planted randomly around the yard or in pots and use it for burns (especially Sunburns).  I remember as a child my grandfather walking me around his farm pointing out various plants and describing their medicinal uses – unfortunately I don’t remember most of the details but thankfully knowledge like that is lost because of books like Magic and Medicine of Plants.  I purchased this book when looking to further my very limited understanding of how this whole get-better-from-plants-thing works.  It seems like everything good originally comes from plants! Who would have thought…

Reading resource:

Reducing Electrical Consumption

We found out that not using our dryer saves us approximately $600 / year on our electrical bill, all things considered. Sources: Sticker on my dryer + A/C Manual + Electric Bill + A little bit of math.  Instead we use this drying rack to accomplish the same goal and as a side effect our clothes are seemingly lasting longer.  What savings! Yes, and furthermore you are now reliant on one less electrical appliance.  Welcome to freedom from the dryer and a suddenly more spacious laundry room.

  Start a composting bin

Food waste. It happens, even as much as we try to avoid it.  Since we don’t have any farm animals where we are currently living (thanks HOA from hell) we can’t just give our food scraps to the Geese and Ducks we’ll have on our Rural Property.  We didn’t want to just throw the remaining nutritional value away in the trash can and send it out to the curb to be hauled off to a dump, so we started composting to supplement our garden’s nutritional content.  There are many options to choose from but we ended up with this composting container that we use in the kitchen.  When full we tote it out to are composting area housed by 1 X Geobin Compost Bin.  It has worked well for us so far.  New to composting and don’t know where to start?  Try this book for quick reference.

Reading resource:

  Raise a few Farm Animals, Anyone?

Chicken, Lamb, Duck, Geese, Rabbit.  Since our hands are currently tied due to HOA bylaws, we don’t have any of these.  I did however recently purchase this book from Amazon to being my study of how to properly prepare the animals.  A friend of mine, who lives about an hour or so outside of town (and is not bound by the #evil HOA) has a dozen or so chickens that produce more than enough eggs to share, and a little bit of meat when the time comes.  Since he free ranges his birds there is no feed cost so he comes out ahead. Anyways, we’ll be utilizing the methods learned for the birds over the course of the summer.  I’ll let you know how it goes – yikes!

Reading resource:

Bake your own bread

We just got our very own bread-maker and I am so excited to try it out this weekend.  Hopefully, there will be no more trips to the grocery store to buy their fresh-frozen (I still don’t know why this is a thing) bread.  Definitely looking forward to flavoring with our very own herbs too!  If anyone has any killer bread recipes you think we should try let us know in the comments!

  Harvest and replant your own seeds

Tomatoes are one of the easiest to do this with, assuming you’ve planted an Heirloom variety in your Vegetable Garden.  Or you could be like me and plant the seed from an Avocado you bought from the grocery store outside of your son’s bedroom window and hope it fruits Soon™.  We are on year two and while the growth is tremendous (10 feet tall now) we don’t yet have any fruit.  Maybe this year will be the year?

  Harvest and heat via Firewood (maybe even cook with it too)

We don’t do this currently as our place doesn’t have a fireplace or a wood stove or any open flame source BUT we are incorporating both a fireplace and a wood stove into our Homestead Design.  We’ll publish the designs Soon™, ya know.. once we’ve figured them out.

I've started my journey to self-sufficiency and living more #sustainable Click To Tweet

Closing

So there you have it, not even close to a comprehensive list but 10 solid things that can be implemented to aid your journey to self-sufficiency.  What do you plan on implementing first?

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