#(and I think deep down- chris is my fave)

[madebysimblr]

Because you couldn't really see their ~full lewks~ in the posts, here are all the ladies outfits for the met ball 🤪 I actually don't know who my favorite is, I like them all so much for different reasons. This was very fun to do tho I gotta say. :D

[multifandomfangirl93]

Oh Mi Amor- Eddie Diaz and Evan Buckley

Authors note: It’s been a while, but I’ve been working on this one. Been on a bit of a 911 kick, so he’s my two faves.

Summary: You come down with the stomach flu, bad. Eddie and Evan take care of you in the middle of the night.

WARNINGS ⚠️: descriptions of vomiting, lots of fluff

>>>>>

You had went to bed not feeling well. You still wanted to sleep in your spot, in between your boys, and they weren’t going to deny you that simple request. Buck always sleeps furthest away from the door, you tucked between him and Eddie, so Eddie can sleep on the side closest to the door. It was an unspoken trend that you all started when you moved in with the boys, mostly so that Eddie could get to Chris if need be.

Tonight, Eddie is very thankful that Chris is in Texas with his parents when you cough in your sleep, causing Eddie to snap up and grab the bucket as you sit up and almost immediately heave. Eddie’s heart thudded in his chest, hating this as much as he did when Chris did this when he was 8. Evan jerks awake at your first heave, having been in a deep sleep after you all came home from a 24 hour shift 5 hours prior.

“Oh, mi amor.” Eddie sighs, rubbing your back as you push your hair away from your face and clutch your chest with the other hand. Eddie has the bucket steady in your lap, but that was not even something you were worried about at the moment.

“Geez sweetheart.” Evan whispers, leaning back against the headboard as he slits his legs around your frame to steady you as you sway. He then leans up and takes the hair from your hand, lightly kissing your exposed shoulder blade. “We gotcha.” He murmurs, still half asleep.

You hardly complain of feeling bad, so when you commented on how bad your head and stomach hurt, the boys knew you all were in for a long night. The stomach bug had been going around, and you tended to be on more ambo calls than them, so they figured you were going down. Luckily, Eddie, thinking like a dad, had thought to bring a bucket to bed when you laid down with Buck not long after you all arrived home.

“That’s it hun. Just get it all out.” Eddie praised as you coughed and shook your head, spitting stringy spit into the bucket. “We have you. Just let it out.” He whispered, knowing you hated being sick.

You shook your head, wanting to be done and go back to sleep. You barely understood what was going on when you first heaved, but now that you were a bit more awake, you were starting to panic. You let your free hand clutch the covers, until Buck grabbed it and held you closer in his grasp. You were on the verge of hyperventilating as you choked and gagged over the bucket.

“Shhhhh.” Buck hushed you, squeezing your hand. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” He soothed, voice low with sleep. When you moaned, clearly uncomfortable, Evan about broke. He hates seeing you like this. “I know. I know baby. It’s alright.” Evan whispered, kissing your back.

“You about done?” Eddie asked, lightly holding onto the back of your neck. He didn’t like the way you were flagging, barely holding your head up. “Hmm? Let me see your eyes mi amor.” Eddie whispered, giving your neck a gentle squeeze.

You barely lifted your head as Buck reached around, wiping your mouth with a tissue he snagged from the box by the bed. You barely made eye contact with Eddie, eyes fluttering and bottle lip trembling. You were so tired and felt so sick still.

“Oh baby.” Eddie whispered, cupping your cheek. “I’m sorry your so sick.” Eddie soothed, rubbing your tears away with the pad of his thumb. He cupped your cheek, feeling the heat radiate from your skin.

“I-I… M tired.” You whispered, reaching up to rub at your eyes. “M sorry.” You said, cringing at the sight of the bucket Eddie was still holding.

“Hey. None of that baby girl.” Eddie lightly chastised. “You can’t help it. Do you think your done?” Eddie asked, searching your face and eyes.

You slowly nodded, lightly rubbing your stomach. “For now.” You whispered, leaning back into Evan. You just wanted to go back to sleep.

“Wanna go wash your mouth out?” Buck whispered in your ear, kissing behind it after he finished asking the question. He had no problem with you going right back to sleep, but he also knew the taste of vomit wouldn’t help you in any way. He just wanted to get you as comfortable as he possibly could.

“Mmmm. I-I can’t.” You whispered, clutching your head as you shoved yourself back, further into Buck’s chest. “Dizzy.”

Eddie nodded as he made eye contact with Evan. “Okay sweet girl. I’ll get you a water and mouth wash on my way back. Just sit tight.” Eddie soothed, leaning down to kiss your forehead, which burned beneath his lips.

Evan reclined further back, holding you close to his chest. “Anything else hurt?” Evan asked, trying to figure out if this was the flu or just the stomach flu. You tended to react badly to shots, so you didn’t get your flu shot this year.

You slowly shook your head. “Just h-head and my st-stomach.” You whispered, sniffling as more tears streamed down your face. “M cold Ev.” You whined, bunching up in Evan’s lap.

Buck shushed you, reaching around to pull the top sheet over the both of you. “I know sweetie. Your pretty hot right now.” He said, kissing your forehead like he was double checking.

“M always h-hot.” You said, a slight smile curling your lips.

Eddie walked in the room when you made that comment, wet wash cloths, empty bowl, water, and mouth wash in hand. “Huh. Someone’s spending too much time with Buck.” He huffed out, a wide grin covering his face as he leaned over you, gently wiping your face with one wash cloth before having you rinse and spit. “This bowl is for rinsing and spitting. I gotta clean the bucket out. We can also use it to rewet the rags as needed.” Eddie informed, placing the clean rag on your forehead before putting everything else on the night stand. “Give me a few minutes to clean the bucket and wash my hands. I’ll come back in just a second. Try to get some rest you two.” Eddie instructed, flipping the lights off, but flipping the hall light on as he walked back toward the bathroom.

“Alright baby. Ready to sleep?” Buck whispered, craning his neck to look down at you.

You slightly nodded, but stayed where you were. “Umm. I-I’m scared.” You admitted in a small whisper.

Evan hummed, not liking that his angel felt unsafe in her own bed and in his arms. “What’s the matter, hmm?” Evan whispered softly, no hint of anything but concern in his voice.

“I’ve never d-done that b-before. I-I could’ve choked!” You said, breathing picking up at the thought.

Evan shook his head. “Hey now. None of that baby.” Evan soothed, running a hand up and down your back as the other locked your head in place on his chest. “Eddie heard you. He was up before you were up. He’s got you. WEVE got you.” He said, kissing the top of your head as he looked around the room, willing his brain to give him a solution.

You caught sight of you and Buck in the mirror by the door. You were propped up in Evan’s arms as Evan reclined back into the pillows. You both looked comfortable enough and there was still room for Eddie.

“C-can you k-keep holding me like this?” You shuddered out, shaking slightly as a chill run up your spine

Buck smiled, liking your solution. “Of course I can. Will it make you feel safer?” Evan inquired, just wanting to do anything in his power to make you more comfortable. When you lightly nodded, he smiled. “Well, I’m comfortable if you are. If you want to snuggle Eddie at any point, you just tell us. I’ll keep you as long as you’ll have me though.” Buck reassured, kissing the crown of your head once again.

Buck was a physical touch person. You all were, but Buck loved it the most. He would hold onto either of his partners whenever he could. He showers you both in kisses, but he knows you enjoy being held when you felt sick. If peppering you with kisses and holding you would make you feel better, Buck would stay up and do it all night long.

You were twisting and turning, wanting to stay in Buck’s arms, but your stomach kept twisting in on itself. Buck was shushing you as he began to wonder if he needed to call Eddie for that bucket. You, however, jumped out of his arms before he could decide.

“Woah!” Buck heard Eddie yell as you almost collided with him in the hallway. Eddie was quick to step aside as Buck followed suit, slamming into the bathroom doorway as he skidded in after you. Eddie winced when he heard the toilet lid bang against the tank, your knees slam onto the floor, and the unmistakable sound of a gag. He sighed, shaken at his core. You NEVER threw up, so he knew you had this bad.

Meanwhile, you had your head over the bowl, both arms cradling your stomach, as you heaved harshly. You could feel Buck’s hands on you almost immediately, rubbing your back as a hand came up to hold your forehead.

“Alright now. I gotcha.” Evan whispered, straining to keep your head up as a productive heave had got flying forward. “Eddie!” Buck called, worried when you basically stopped breathing for a moment. All logic was out of Evan’s mind at the sight of you suffering. He needed Eddie to make this right.

Eddie squeezed Buck’s shoulder as he crammed himself into the space on the ground next to the tub in case you collapsed that way. “M here. I’m right here.” Eddie cooed, hand gently squeezing Buck’s arm in reassurance, hoping Evan understood that he was talking to both of you. “Y/n. You gotta breathe. Breathe baby.” Eddie said, thumping your back a few times until you wheezed in a breath and coughed harshly. “That’s my girl.” Eddie whispered, pulling his knees up to allow you access to lean into his calves. His feet awkwardly fanned to the side to keep from pressing into your legs, which was uncomfortable for him, but he could sense you flagging and he could tell you weren’t done.

Evan sighed when you wailed, attempting to curl in on yourself, but only leaning your head more into Buck’s hand. “Shhh baby. Sh Sh Sh. It’s alright.” Evan whispered, wishing he could take this pain away from you. “Your almost done. Doing so good darlin. So good.” He encouraged, tears falling down his face.

Eddie ached for both of you. He’s just as much of a fixer as Buck, but he knew this had to run its course. He also knew he needed to try to take some of the feelings out of it right now. He needed to tend to you. Eddie leaned over and wiped the tears from Buck’s face, shushing both of you. He could see how drained Evan was, but he knew that you would freak out if either of them left you. Plus, Buck would not sleep with you this sick.

Finally, you stopped, huffing as you tried to catch your breath. Unwittingly, you flagged sideways, landing right on Eddie’s calves. Buck quickly grabbed you and helped Eddie lower you down into Eddie’s chest when the man spread his legs to wrap you in his embrace. Once again, Buck wiped your mouth before flushing the latest round away.

Looking down, Eddie’s face fell in concern. Your eyes were shut, breathing labored, as he felt your pulse hammer under the fingers he pressed against your burning neck. “Mi amor?” Eddie whispered, the slight strain in his voice causing Buck to twist around from washing his hands.

“Eddie?” Buck asked, quickly drying his hands as he collapsed back on the floor with you and Eddie.

Eddie quickly looked at Buck before he rubbed your sternum. You jolted back, swatting at his hand as you groaned. Both boys sighed at your reaction. You were absolutely exhausted.

Eddie cradled you tighter to his chest before he asked Buck to help pull you both up. Both boys hoped you would sleep the remainder of the night, but Buck grabbed the bucket that Eddie dropped in the middle of the hall on their way back to bed. Buck helped Eddie get adjusted in bed, with you still cradled in his arms.

“I’ll hold her for a while and monitor her. You try to get some sleep Buck. You look beat.” Eddie whispered, hand running through Evan’s hair as the man scooted closer to you and Eddie.

“You sure?” Evan asked, peering up at Eddie with big eyes, obviously scared after what you just went through.

Eddie smiled before kissing his finger tips and placing it on Buck’s temple. “I’m sure. Go to sleep Ev.” Eddie whispered, not wanting to wake you or disturb you now that you were asleep. Eddie carded his fingers through Buck’s curls until Buck fell asleep. Eddie closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of your breathing and your pulse under his hands as he relaxed. He wasn’t much for praying anymore, but he figured it couldn’t hurt to say one for you.

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[barbwritesstuff]

with regards to why chris is so unexpectedly popular, I've actually spent a lot of time thinking about their appeal to me specifically because they're not at all the kind of love interest I usually go for in interactive fiction, as both a character with a preexisting relationship with the MC and a "normal person" who doesn't have a personal stake in the main plot.

It mainly comes down to two things: the built in drama and catharsis of the scenario - in act one, the sense of being SO WRONGED and MISUNDERSTOOD, if only they knew what the MC has been going through, they would be so so sorry, etc. To me, it's a strong hook for their romance. Later, they are in a special position as the only LI to have known and loved the MC before they became a vampire, that they fall in love with them again is like. crazy. it drives me crazy. I'm the thing that puppets your dead lover's corpse - can you love me? if I travelled so far from you for so long that i lost myself, my very soul, would you know me? My circumstances have changed, I've had to compromise my ethics, I am dangerous to know, will you permit me to parent your our child? I am not what I was, take me as I am. god. I'm unwell.

number two is the main thing, and it's your wonderful ability to write characters who are both deeply, humanly flawed while remaining sympathetic and, crucially, interesting (Roe is my fave example of this in Blood Moon). IMO a common trap for love interests that have a history with the MC is for them to either be angels or the worst people on earth, in order to justify either the breakup or a desire to get back together. they also tend to lack development in comparison to the rest of the cast. But Chris is so immediately reasonable and intelligent, even though they are not at their best in the wake of the breakup and seen through the MC's biased and hurt POV. this impression only increases as you get to know them, and every conversation and encounter with them is revealing. Their strong boundaries, their love for their child and ability as a parent, the fact that their new partner kinda sucks tbh. they way they hold the mc accountable despite what you might call an imperfect understanding of the situation, lol. The full picture of them is so worthy of respect and affection and honesty.

Anyways. apologies for the love letter <3.

Never apologise for this. I love this. I am obsessed with this. I'm begging for more of this. I love it when people dive deep into my stories and characters. Chris was never meant to be a 'fully fledged' RO, but comments like this might just change that.

[clarabowmp3]

or maybe joe knows deep down that his gravy train has officially come to an end so he's trying to gin up extra press. He was doing all the storm and stress... woe is me pre ttpd only to be relegated to a footnote because he was that boring. Taylor ain't sweating that man and let me get my Will Smith voice on, he should keep travis kelce and t swifts name out his freaking mouth. He's a loser for this as far as I'm concerned and these comments cemented why I will never like him. How about he take a hike huh. Travis and Taylor are out living their lives. Yall don't like - look elsewhere. There are other musicians to stan but Tay is very much her millennial self and Travis matches her freak. Pretentious douches like Joe can mauld in misery. Like boy bye. Leave Tay alone, stop talking about her joe alwyn, booooo

Ah yes, press-hungry joe alwyn who never leveraged his position as taylor swift’s boyfriend to catapult himself into higher levels of fame, who waited over a year for the heat to die down before he made a fairly neutral statement about the break up (mostly directed at the rabid fans too)

tell me how he acted all woe is me pre ttpd? By staying silent ie not doing anything to twist the narrative in his favour, unlike what taylor did with you’re losing me? It’s almost as though a rational person would sympathise with him by default…

personally I disagree that a boyfriend of 6 years was just a footnote in taylor’s life. so long London only scrapes the surface of the complicated feelings she had about him, and it shows how difficult the break up was for her. I think what a lot of people forget is how he was there for her when no one else was in 2016, so you’re just flat out wrong abt him being boring idk what to tell you

since your brought up the will smith incident, let’s do a little comparison! Chris rock made a joke at a highly publicised event. Joe alwyn was having a conversation in a semi-private setting which was not intended to reach the ears of the public. He was in his right to say what he did so I don’t know what inference you’re drawing from his comments or the reason why you never liked him.

And I think you could stand to follow your own advice. Don’t like what someone said about one of your faves? Look elsewhere! You can’t control what people think or want to talk about lmao it’s not even unethical or immoral. as you said, as long as taylor and Travis love each other and find happiness in one another, what does it matter what anyone has to say about them? He is leaving taylor alone like??? Idk how to explain it more than this

Idk if he is a pretentious douche and I see no substantial reason to believe he is so idk what you’re taking about. Also please touch grass. Why are you ripping a guy to shreds over a singular comment he made not to the public, all to defend a grown woman who’s in her own happy relationship?

[absolutelybifurious]

she wouldn't even be in that house if Eddie hadn't pursued a fucked up emotional affair with her, brought her to his house so she knew where he lived, then played along with her fucked up roleplay that absolutely would have led to sex if his actual son hadn't come home (which he should have expected since the kid lives there) so yes actually it is his fucking fault. the whole thing is no one's fault but his.

but y'all probably don't even think it's actually cheating

wow. hello. you appear to be having a very bad day. so let me walk through this with you, first off - it's important you understand that this is fictional. i will never be mad at eddie diaz bc he's not a real person. chris is not a real person. and yes, he is my fave so i will totally justify all kinds of things he does. because he's not real. so all this energy you're putting out here should probably come down several hundred notches.

second off, its totally cheating, and you know what? because this is fiction and i love some high drama, i'm gonna really blow your mind. i love a cheating storyline when its not on an endgame ship, and well. marisol certainly is not. so. 100% percent cheating, and i kinda wish they'd fucked to be honest. i'm here for the mess.

i don't agree it's no one's fault but his, because he did try to end things. and this lady literally changed her whole aesthetic to come roleplay with him. he's got all this grief and trauma and he was already so confused - as if kim's strange choices weren't gonna make that worse. he had a lapse in judgement and did some shitty things and then tried to shut it down. so when she turned back up and did all that, i'm sure he totally forgot marisol and chris were coming back soonish bc the insanity of the situation.

still partly his fault. but i personally do not think it makes him a bad father, just a very damaged lil guy who is doing his best and finally dropped off the deep end.

but just to reiterate, because you do seem to be taking this very personally - it's not real. the writers actually wrote all of that. no sane woman would do what kim did in that situation. it's pure silliness. but people like you hate eddie for reasons i can't begin to comprehend, and i'm sorry you're experiencing so much rage over some fictional drama.

but no, it was not all his fault. it became largely kims when she walked back in and ambushed him. but calm down, buddy. hang in there.

[spaceorphan18]

About the podcast - they had a few weeks where they called the plots A, B and C. That made sense. Except when it was the Home edition the Kurt story was plot C behind Will and April.

Then they dropped an organized structure. Now I can’t understand why they talk about some plots as much as they do. In NBk, was the boys/Tina/Beiste plot really more important than the first Klaine meeting? Or was it just cos Jenna was in it?

Ok I want to hear about my faves but it’s like they were playing down some plots?

As I said with the previous ask - I don't think they were playing down plots. I think both Kevin and Jenna focus on things they were a part of or are emotionally connected to.

You can tell how close, especially Kevin, was to Naya - as Santana related material really hits deep with them. I can also tell they have a fondness for Finn in a way a lot of the fandom didn't - and this stems a lot from them being good friends with Cory.

To flip it a little - let's talk about Darren watching NBK a few years ago for the tenth anniversary of his appearance. He talks very fondly of his time - gives BTS stories, talks kindly about Chris, and gives us insight about what filming was like. And... he pretty much skipped things that weren't related to him. Yes - I realize the context was a little different - because he wasn't doing a recap podcast. But my point is - he ultimately talks about /his/ experiences.

I do believe it's the same kind of thing with Kevin and Jenna. They aren't putting much effort into things that aren't related to them. As I said in the other ask - they aren't interested in the deep dives like The Office Ladies or looking at the whole picture like Pod Meets World. And that's fine - it's their podcast.

Hopefully something will strike their fancy enough to spend a little more time on things I like, but I'm not holding my breath. They seem to be entertained by wildly different things than what interests me.

*shrugs* it is what it is I suppose.

[ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense]

American Dad eps for review. This isn’t all my faves, but I didn’t wanna give you too much 😅

Delorean Storyan

Merlot Down Dirty Shame

Cops and Roger

The One Who Got Away

Fart-break Hotel

Joint Custody

Stanny Tendergrass

Independent Movie

Alright, I’m finally sitting down with this list!

I think you’ve got some fantastic picks for favorites here, Fart-Break Hotel and Stanny Tendergrass are personal favorites of mine as well.

-Delorean Story-An is an episode I tend to get mixed up with Toy Whore-y because it’s got such a similar set up but it’s a great pick if you’re looking for a Stan and Steve character piece of which there are relatively fewer than other characters. I specifically love the twist at the end that Steve had been laboring under the idea that at least they shared a love of Back to The Future to make him and Stan bonded only for Stan to reveal that he’s never even seen the movie and has his own reasons for wanting the Delorean so badly. It’s a good joke but it’s also a great way of reminding the audience that these two both want similar things, they just have so much of a personality gap that it’s hard for them to see it in each other, which is the running theme.

Also Roger and Francine dogging on Hayley for being boring and Hayley pranking them with one of two Chris Angel appearances in the show will never not be funny.

-Merlot Down Dirty Shame is a great Roger centric episode. I think it’s interesting the depth of character Seth brings to this cast despite the shallow demeanor of the series itself. Roger is self centered, horny, and impulsive but his genuine love for the family and his fear of losing their love is a topic that they keep consistent and this is one of the strongest contenders for an episode of that ilk. The lengths Roger will go to just to keep Stan from getting angry at him over such a small thing are hilarious and deeply in character. Plus this episode has some killer dialogue.

“I’m just gonna give you some time to cool off”

“IM GONNA RIP YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF”

“Okay so you need more time.”

-Cops and Roger is the funniest Roger alone episode Roger going off the rails as his persona of a guy who failed to become a cop and now takes it out on his family entirely because of Steven and his friends stupid prank is gets progressively more absurd to the point that you just find yourself invested in this family that you’ll never see again and have never seen before. Kelly Clarkson’s “What Doesn’t Kill You” playing as he now widowed wife walks out of the restaurant with her kids is one of those great testaments to how well the team uses licensed music.

-The One That Got Away is one of those easy great American Dad episodes. A deep dive into Rogers personas being so much more than costumes to him, and how becoming all of these people can lead to some crazy consequences. I would say while something like “Roger Needs Dick” explores the emotional side of the personas all being facets of Roger, this one handles the mental presence of it phenomenally. I feel like I’m watching a thriller. There’s some obvious Fight Club inspiration going on and doing a Fight Club story but flipping the premise of Tyler Durden on his head was a stroke of genius on the staffs part. This is one that’s kinda hard to discuss because…like…it’s just a phenomenal episode You’d be hard pressed to find a fan that doesn’t agree.

-Fart-Break Hotel explores Francine as a character and I’ll be honest I’m very soft on Francine centric episodes. I think she’s an absolute riot any time she appears being a perfect balance of being a out of pocket as Roger while also feeling the most normal. She’s the duality of womanhood and an episode exploring how that balance has been thrown off by her lot in life is bound to be great.

-Joint Custody is one of the few early episodes I actually really enjoy. There’s some genuinely funny stoner jokes (the entire gas station scene is in my top 10 funniest scenes for this show) and it’s one of the first episodes that seems to get Jeff really nailed down in a lot of important ways. Considering Jeff is my favorite character, that’s pretty important to me.

Also, another episode with some killer fucking one liner deliveries

“He hasn’t spoken to his dad in years and his mom ran away before he was born.”

“How…how could she do that?”

-Stanny Tendergrass sees Stan get his ass kicked by Hulk Hogan this episode is perfect

-Independent Movie is a rare really good Snot episode! I think Snot episodes tend to lack because they so often have to focus on Steve and him getting into it over something which is obviously the case here. But here there’s so much going on between Snot very genuinely dealing with his father’s death to the manic pixie dream girl to the rare form earnest ending. Fun fact, this one is Curtis Armstrong personal favorite of the series and you can really tell why. It feels like Snot gets treated like more than Steve’s friend in this episode and Steve’s selfishness doesn’t feel overblown by the plot like it often does in similar episodes.

All in all some great picks, I can tell you’re a fan of the character deep dive episodes which I have the upmost respect for!

[hella1975]

Same playlist anon, I can’t wait until more of tams rolls out and you can explain them all in order and everything, I love hearing your explanations for taob songs. If there’s any in tams that can be explained so far or any in taob that you haven’t gotten to yet 👀�� let’s hear em if you want. Also! The depollute me playlist has essentially become my spring playlist, I listened to it last April and again now and I know I found your taob playlist in spring 2021 and I think this one around the same time, whenever you had made it. It’s just light spring vibes idk, it was completely accidental so far but I love it

ACH I JUST LOVE HEARING THAT PEOPLE LIKE MY PLAYLISTS AND ACTIVELY LISTEN TO THEM IT'S ONE OF MY FAVE COMPLIMENTS TO RECEIVE I GIGGLE AND BLUSH EVERY TIME <3333 i will gladly go through the tams playlist as best i can. here we go!

first part of this is going to be songs that got added for Vibes, aka they're just there because i think they feel very tamscore but you dont need to analyse the lyrics for any deep meaning and/or foreshadowing (bc i absolutely do put songs on playlists purely for foreshadowing in the hopes someone will see it and be unnerved hehe). there's some here where the lyrics ARE relevant, but it's either very surface level or doesn't really need much comment on it, so typically a lot of these carry themes of caretaking and sacrifice etc:

mary on a cross by ghost

everybody wants to rule the world by tears for fears (this is very atla coded anyway)

something in the orange by zach bryan

mind over matter by young the giant

soldier, poet, king by the oh hellos

no one won the war by matt maltese (!! heavy on this one)

come over by the crawlers

cleopatra by the lumineers

somewhere only we know by lily allen

meet me in the woods by lord huron

the view between villages by noah kahan

house of the rising sun by the animals (fun fact the most recent chapter was named 'bc rising sun has connotations of new beginnings etc etc' but mainly it's bc ive associated this song so strongly with tams that it wound up sneaking in)

tous les memes by stromae

mad world by tears for fears (why is tams zuko so tears for fears coded)

americano by lady gaga (for the more badass moments. they are feral)

9 to 5 by dolly parton. i am very funny

abraham's daughter by arcade fire (THE VIBES???)

california dreamin by the mamas and papas

the borders by sam fender

american pie by don mclean (this is quickly becoming THEE tams song in my head)

which leaves us with the below songs that are all on there for a specific Reason whether it be some lyrical analysis or some connection i have to the songs. if you're curious about any, please send an ask with the individual song bc id love to talk about it :) but in the interest of keeping this response at a reasonable length im gonna cut it off here lol:

rivers and roads by the head and the heart

waiting room by phoebe bridgers

evelyn evelyn by evelyn evelyn

down the river by the crane wives

scott street by phoebe bridgers

fine china by lana del rey

come by adrianne lenker

house song by searows

eleanor by cake bake betty

brother by cake bake betty

fourth of july by sufjan stevens

leader of the landslide by the lumineers

wicked game by chris isaak

the moon will sing by the crane wives

evergreen by ricky mitch and the coal miners

blood orange morning light by andrew montana

a better son/daughter by rilo kiley (!!)

bust by lomelda

the gold by phoebe bridgers (!!)

safe and sound by taylor swift

white blank page by mumford and sons

sick in the head by the lumineers

the cave by mumford and sons

dust bowl dance by mumford and sons

my tears ricochet by taylor swift

no surprises by radiohead (!!!!!!)

because dreaming costs money, my dear by mitski

slipping through my fingers by abba

ozymandias by sammy copley

[findroleplay]

Hi, 22/F here. 18+ please! 💞🔫🔪

Looking to flesh out some ideas about the COD boys and really deep dive some writing/ooc rambling. :) Also some Resident Evil stuff perhaps - see further down.

I really wanna write against Ghost, Konig or perhaps even a Soap (with lean to the first two). I have two OCs (one male, one female) who I would love to write against them, although I will write the canon boys if you’re okay with sub/bottom/switch versions of them, with your chara taking a dom lean or being equally a switch. Looking for primarily smut, with angst, romance, maybe a dash of fluff if it’s well written because I’m not here for *pure ~~porn~~*. If you’re interested and wanna hear more about my OCs then feel free to DM me, or if you have a similar military man OC you wanna write against my guys feel free to show me who you have.

I do also have a softspot for Leon (think RE4) - I’ll write m or f sub/bottoms against him, or I can write as him against a top/dom Chris. I’m not big into survival horror writing so usually this is canon divergent aus but that’s not something I mind at all.

I’m really open to darker plots/kinks also but these don’t have to be included: dub-con/cnc, stockholmy situations/hostage negotiations/group traitor vibes, weapon!play, breeding, full bdsm lifestyle or barracks bunny vibes and more. I’m happy to let yall know my limits in dms and go from there.

I’d love something longterm (no worries if not though!) and I do wanna make more friends as this is a newer fandom for me - talking and musing ooc is my fave. React or DM if interested. 💞

-

[tressasinterlude]

𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓 #𝟑: Female Public Figures Dating Men with Questionable Views That Contradict Their Image & Alleged Politics

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗖𝗟𝗔𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗥: These rant blog posts are really just reflective of my thoughts at the time that I make them and are posted here because I need an outlet to release all of this shit I have going on my busy ass mind. That’s it and that’s all. Now let’s get into it..

This rant was greatly inspired by none other than Ms. Robyn Rihanna “Tell Your Faves To Pull Up [in regards to social injustices directly affecting black people]” Fenty and her openly colorist boyfriend, A$AP Rocky. Aside from the fact that Rihanna tends to slip under the radar and is never held accountable for her problematic ways due to her conventional beauty (i.e. Her heavy usage of anti-Asian slurs, particularly targeted towards Chris Brown’s ex gf, Karrueche), it’s very alarming that a woman who has an entire makeup brand with a campaign based around the inclusivity of ALL black women is publicly flaunting a beau who once said that DSBW do not look good with red lipstick.

And yes, I’m very much aware that Rakim said this tasteless comment over 8 years ago but from the looks of it, not much has really changed with him. Don’t @ me about it neither because I don’t care.

Also peep how he compares a hypothetical darkskinned woman to a man (Wesley Snipes) while trying to explain how his antiblackness isn’t wrong because he said something about white women as well. Gaslighting at its finest. Don’t you just love it! 😀

Furthermore, you would think that somebody of Rihanna’s level of stature would know not to associate themselves with someone as messy as A$AP Rocky but... Stupid is what stupid does, I guess! I can’t even begin to place the blame on him anymore because he’s revealed his true colors and we all have made the deliberate choice to either accept it or don’t and have discontinued all support for him. Unfortunately, misogynoir is never the dealbreaker for most people and the hatred for [dark-skinned] black women is so engrained in society that it’s frowned upon when we publicly speak out against it. Very ass backwards if you ask me but that’s society for you. Now, enough about that. Let’s focus back on Ms. Vita La Coco.

As a woman who claims to be a girl’s girl and is always presenting herself to be someone who is the epitome of a pro-black feminist bad ass, it just makes her alleged activism come off so disingenuous when she’s also laying down with the same man that actively attacks the demographic she’s supposed to be standing in solidarity with. It’s “Black Lives Matter” on the IG posts but your vagina is getting moist for a man who openly stated he doesn’t relate to what goes on in Ferguson because he lives in Soho & Beverly Hills. Ferguson being the exact place where a 17-year-old black boy’s lifeless corpse laid on the hot concrete for FOUR hours after he was murdered by a police officer. He couldn’t 'relate' to the fate of so many black men, women, and children who are murdered or seriously injured from state-sanctioned violence because they’re poor and he is not or so he thought.

But then again, what can I really expect from a woman who identified as being “biracial” until as recent as roughly 6 years ago? What can I really expect from a woman who called Rachel Dolezal a ‘hero’ for cosplaying as a black woman? I’d be lying if I said my expectations for her were high in this regard because sis has always shown us she was lacking in this department. And just for the record, this is not a personal attack on Rihanna at all for the die-hard Navy stans in the back. I admire her latest fashions and bop my head to her music just like the next person but she’s getting the side-eye from me on this one.

Trust and believe me though, she’s not the only woman who I can call out for being a hypocrite. Of course not! This stone can be cast at a few others. So without further ado, why don’t we bring Ms. Kehlani Parrish to the front of the congregation? Prior to Kehlani’s recent declaration of identifying as a lesbian, her last public relationship with a man was with YG. Yes, the same YG who felt it was necessary to say him & Nipsey had ‘pretty light-skinned’ daughters to raise in the middle of his deceased friend’s memorial. By the way, Nipsey’s daughter is not even light (or at least not in my book anyways.) She’s a very deep caramel tone just like her father which makes what he said even more moronic. Yes, the same YG who thought it was clever idea to use slavery as an aesthetic for a music video to a diss track about 6ix9ine. And yes, also the same YG who has derogatory lyrics targeted at bisexual women. Just to end up sweating the red carpets with one. I swear the jokes just continue to write themselves.

This raises the question once more; How high of a pedestal can I really put a multiracial woman who has a song titled ‘N*ggas’ and when received backlash for the song in question, she used the ultimate ‘I’m mixed’ copout while not having a visibly black parent in sight?

It’s also kind of suspicious to me that many were not privy to Kehlani’s secret romance with Victoria Monét (pictured bottom right) until Victoria did an interview with Gay Times revealing she fell in love with a girl but they subsequently broke up because Victoria had a boyfriend and that girl was pregnant in a polyamorous relationship. Fans began to speculate because both Victoria & Kehlani previously candidly spoke about their sexual orientations, Kehlani had just had Adeya and they both were seemingly close. Their short-lived fling would later be confirmed when Victoria released the song ‘Touch Me’ on her last project and Kehlani hopped on the remix. Meanwhile, Kehlani’s relationship with Shaina (pictured bottom left) was very overt and all over her Instagram feed from my recollection. And as you can see, Shaina looks absolutely nothing like Victoria. They look like the complete opposite of eachother in every aspect which is kind of alarming(?) to say the least because why is it that the women she proudly claims as her partners tend to have a very racially ambiguous look such as herself but her ‘sneaky links’ on the other hand are undoubtedly black women? Again, it could just be me jumping conclusions. You know, I’m kinda good for that however something tells me I’m not. Y’all be the judge of the material though.

Last but not least, I’d like to touch on Ms. Raven Tracy very briefly. I was very weary about even including in this segment and if I should just put her in a entirely separate blog post with other women who openly date abusers despite their checkered past (alongside Nicki Minaj & her r*pist murderer of a husband, India Love & Sheck Wes etc.) being this particular blog post was based around the theme of lightskinned/mixed women dating men with extremely problematic views about DSBW. Raven obviously isn’t lightskinned or mixed however I refused to ignore how contradictory her [former] relationship with an alleged (I used this word very loosely and mainly for legality purposes.) serial r*pist while promoting a brand that is all about feminism & body positivity. This also traces back to A$AP Rocky by default being that Ian Connor is his very close friend and he came to Connor’s defense when several women came forward detailing accounts of Connor allegedly s*xually assaulting them. (I wish I could place the actual video of what A$AP Rocky said verbatim but Tumblr only allows one video per blog post. 🙄)

Back in June of this year, Ian & Raven had a back & forth on Twitter after Ian tweeted about Raven “fucking everybody” behind his back. I can only assume that he was alluding to Tori Brixx posting a video of her ex, Rich the Kid & Raven kissing on her story. Disgusted is not even the word to describe my feeling when she admitted she stuck by Ian despite of his many allegations of s*xual abuse because she loved him and her being a empath causes her to want to help everybody. Imagine aiding and abetting a predator and even paying for his bail & legal fees just to turn around and expect sympathy because this same individual cheated on you and exploited you all over Twitter for the public to see. The same man that you would get back with not even a WEEK after the fact & turn off your IG comments because it isn’t our “business” after making it our business...

That being said, I just genuinely want to know: Why do these women completely go against what they stand for in regards to these men? Maybe it was never genuine from jump street and if that’s the case, why jump on the bandwagon of performative activism? Is it because it’s profitable right now? Is it because disrespecting black women is not an immediate death sentence to your careers and more often than not actually helps you advance even further? I guess that’s the billion dollar question that’ll never truly be answered. I just want the world to stop using black women as their stepping stool to get to where they need to go and then discarding of us when we’re no longer beneficial. Support us all the way or don’t support us at all. We deal with enough disrespect as is so we’d appreciate if y’all would stop straddling the fence and partake in your misogynoir out loud if that’s what you choose to do. We have no use for fake allyship and quite frankly, it’s doing more harm for us than good. Please and thank you!

Sincerely,

- 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚂 𝙴𝙳𝙶𝙰𝚁 𝙰𝙻𝙻𝙴𝙽 𝙷𝙾𝙴. 💋

[lovelystarlings]

Neighbours Aren’t So Bad | Chris Evans x Reader

in which your new neighbour moves in with a charming smirk and a love for watching through windows

warnings - voyeurism, smut, masturbations, mutual masturbation

The house next to yours has always been empty, ever since you had moved in after college. You had suspected it was the fact that your bedroom window opposed the houses, that wasn’t really looked for in houses. Until recently, when moving vans had started to pile up outside.

Stood on your porch, robe tied round your waist and mug of coffee in your hands, you observed carefully as a car pulled into the drive next door. You’d sipped the hot beverage slowly, your eyes fluttering over the new neighbour as he stepped out of the car.

God you needed to get laid.

“Howdy neighbour!” you spoke mockingly, waving your hand in salute as you set your coffee down on the small table beside your front door and shuffled closer to the strangely attractive man.

“Howdy,” his deep voice replied, sunglasses sat on the top of his head.

“I’m Y/N,” you spoke with a smile, your hand coming up to shake his.

“I’m Chris,” he shook yours with just as much as enthusiasm. “I just moved in next door, obviously.” His eyes raked over, you sending small shocks of arousal through your body.

“Well, lovely to meet you Chris.” You giggled flirtatiously as he brought your hand to his lips and kissed it slowly. His bright eyes coming up to meet yours.

Feeling a gust of wind, you wrapped your arms around yourself tightly and remembered that you were only wearing a thin robe and a top that had belonged to an ex of yours.

“As much as I would love to carry this conversation on,” you shivered. “I am freezing my tits off and by the looks of it you should probably go unpack.” He tutted and faves fleeting look to the pile of boxes that were sat by his front door.

“In that case, I’ll see you later.”

And with that you walked back into your house, your coffee cold on the table but you hand burning with Chris’ touch.

Your bedroom was perhaps your favourite room in your house, purely due to the fact that your bed was next to your window, meaning that the light from the moon flooded through your window and over your bed as your slept; sleep came easy.

But not tonight.

Music played softly through your record player as you twirled around your room, your hair draped over your shoulders as you admired yourself in the mirror. You weren’t egotistical in anyway, but recently had bought a new lingerie set, and boy was it beautiful.

It was a baby blue, with white lace around the edges and then cotton straps. Quite nearly the comfiest underwear you had ever owned.

Dancing over to your open window, you blushed heavily at the sight of a shirtless Chris sat on his bed, that just so happened to also be positioned next to his window. As your eyes drifted further and further down to the grey sweatpants he was wearing, you felt a wetness pool at the crotch of your new panties.

He was packing heavily.

As the song switched to one of your favourites, you sat down in your bed gently and searched around in your drawer for your favourite toy, not noticing Chris looking at you though your own window.

You had never really had your blinds closed in your room, no one had ever lived in the house opposite before, and the light you got at night was quite refreshing. And tonight you hadn’t thought of closing them either.

Laying down on top of your covers and plumping up the pillows behind you, you pulled your panties down slowly, fingers reaching down to run your clit slowly. Your mind immediately thinking of the shirtless man only a few meters away.

Turning your head slightly to look out the window you whimpered at the sight of Chris now laid in his bed, his hand in his pants and his head thrown back.

“Fuck,” you whimpered lightly, your cunt pulsating as you felt that familiar rush of pleasure, head falling back and pressing hard against your pillow.

Chris was going insane.

For days he had been watching you now, even before he had begun to move into that damned house that in reality he hated with a passion, but it was closer to you then he had ever been before. The distance between your windows was short enough that he could see almost everything you were doing. Including the exact moment you had laid down on that bed.

He watched through the window as you dropped your robe and admired yourself in the mirror, your hands coming to rest on your hips. He felt his sweatpants become tighter around his crotch as thoughts of you filled his mind; you on your knees as you choked on his cock, your perfect tits bouncing and him bucking his hips roughly into yours as you rode him, your pretty little moans as he fucked you into oblivion. He sat down on his bed and pulled his throbbing cock out, spitting onto his hands and pumping slowly, watching you out of the corner of his eye, your hands now sliding into your pants. He knew you knew what you were doing to him, and he wasn't intending on stopping you.

"Shit," he groaned, his hand moving at a rapid pace up and down his thick cock, pre cum dripping down his shaft and eyes flickering over to your open window. Shit. Your window was open. Had it been open the whole time? He stroked harder at the thought of being able to hear you, and shuffled closer to his view point.

Chris gasped at the loud moan you let out, your head throwing back to hit your pillow and your back arching as you gently pushed the dildo into your seeping hole, his own hands shaking as he climbed further and further to his own climax.

You hadn’t closed your window. You hadn’t closed your window and your new neighbour could probably hear your moans and it turned you on even more.

Lifting your hips up slightly you sped up your hand movements and moved your hand that wasn't preoccupied up to your nipples, pulling and twisting at them harshly, imagining they were his hands. God what you would give for him to climb through your window right now. To fuck you till you couldn’t walk.

“O-oh fuck!” You yelled as a burst of pleasure ran through you, your hands shaking and your vision blurred at the intensity of your orgasm.

“Fuck!” Chris grunted as he came at the beautiful sight of your undoing. Turning to properly face the window, he smirked at the sight of you in your underwear and hair messily framing your face, staring right back at him with a smirk of your own. Both of you thinking the same thing.

Neighbours aren’t so bad after all.

[grigori77]

2020 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 3)

10.  WOLFWALKERS – eleven years ago, Irish director Tomm Moore exploded onto the animated cinema scene with The Secret of Kells, a spellbinding feature debut which captivated audiences the world over and even garnered an Oscar nomination.  Admittedly I didn’t actually even know about it until I discovered his work through his astonishing follow-up, Song of the Sea (another Academy Award nominee), in 2015, so when I finally caught it I was already a fan of Moore’s work.  It’s been a similarly long wait for his third feature, but he’s genuinely pulled off a hat-trick, delivering a third flawless film in a row which OF COURSE means that his latest feature is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, my top animated feature of 2020.  I could even be tempted to say it’s his best work to date … this is an ASTONISHING film, a work of such breath-taking, spell-binding beauty that I spent its entire hour and three-quarters glued to the screen, simple mesmerised by the wonder and majesty of this latest iteration of the characteristically stylised “Cartoon Saloon” look.  It’s also liberally steeped in Moore’s trademark Celtic vibe and atmosphere, once again delving deep into his homeland’s rich and evocative cultural history and mythology while also bringing us something far more original and personal – this time the titular supernatural beings are magical near-human beings whose own subconscious can assume the form of very real wolves.  Set in a particularly dark time in Irish history – namely 1650, when Oliver Cromwell was Lord Protector – the story follows Robyn (Honor Kneafsey, probably best known for the Christmas Prince films), the impetuous and spirited young daughter of English hunter Bill Goodfellowe (Sean Bean), brought in by the Protectorate to rid the city of Kilkenny of the wolves plaguing the area.  One day fate intervenes and Robyn meets Mebh Og MacTire (The Girl at the End of the Garden‘s Eve Whittaker), a wild girl living in the woods, whose accidental bite gives her strange dreams in which she becomes a wolf – turns out Mebh is a wolfwalker, and now so is Robyn … every aspect of this film is an utter triumph for Moore and co, who have crafted a work of living, breathing cinematic art that’s easily the equal to (if not even better than) the best that Disney, Dreamworks or any of the other animation studios could create.  Then there’s the excellent voice cast – Bean brings fatherly warmth and compassion to the role that belies his character’s intimidating size, while Kneafsey and Whittaker make for a sweet and sassy pair as they bond in spite of powerful cultural differences, and the masterful Simon McBurney (Harry Potter, Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy) brings cool, understated menace to the role of Cromwell himself.  This is a film with plenty of emotional heft to go with its marvels, and once again displays the welcome dark side which added particular spice to Moore’s previous films, but ultimately this is still a gentle and heartfelt work of wonder that makes for equally suitable viewing for children as for those who are still kids at heart – ultimately, then, this is another triumph for one of the most singularly original filmmakers working in animation today, and if Wolfwalkers doesn’t make it third time lucky come Oscars-time then there’s no justice in the world …

9.  WONDER WOMAN 1984 – probably the biggest change for 2020 compared to pretty much all of the past decade is how different the fortunes of superhero cinema turned out to be.  A year earlier the Marvel Cinematic Universe had dominated all, but the DC Extended Universe still got a good hit in with big surprise hit Shazam!  Fast-forward to now and things are VERY different – DC suddenly came out in the lead, but only because Marvel’s intended heavy-hitters (two MCU movies, the first Venom sequel and potential hot-shit new franchise starter Morbius: the Living Vampire) found themselves continuously pushed back thanks to (back then) unforeseen circumstances which continue to shit all over our theatre-going slate for the immediate future.  In the end DC’s only SERIOUS competition turned out to be NETFLIX … never mind, at least we got ONE big established superhero blockbuster into the cinemas before the end of the year that the whole family could enjoy, and who better to headline it than DC’s “newest” big screen megastar, Diana Prince? Back in 2017 Monster’s Ball director Patty Jenkins’ monumental DCEU standalone spectacularly realigned the trajectory of a cinematic franchise that was visibly flagging, redesigning the template for the series’ future which has since led to some (mostly) consistently impressive subsequent offerings.  Needless to say it was a damn tough act to follow, but Jenkins and co-writers Geoff Johns (Arrow and The Flash) and David Callaham (The Expendables, Zombieland: Double Tap, future MCU entry Shang-Chi & the Legend of the Ten Rings) have risen to the challenge in fine style, delivering something which pretty much equals that spectacular franchise debut … as has Gal Gadot, who’s now OFFICIALLY made the role her own thanks to yet another showstopping and definitive performance as the unstoppable Amazonian goddess living amongst us.  She’s older and wiser than in the first film, but still hasn’t lost that forthright honesty and wonderfully pure heart we’ve come to love ever since her introduction in Zack Snyder’s troublesome but ultimately underrated Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice (yes, that’s right, I said it!), and Gadot’s clear, overwhelming commitment to the role continues to pay off magnificently as she once again proves that Diana is THE VERY BEST superhero in the DCEU cinematic pantheon.  Although it takes place several decades after its predecessor, WW84 is, obviously, still very much a period piece, Jenkins and co this time perfectly capturing the sheer opulent and over-the-top tastelessness of the 1980s in all its big-haired, bad-suited, oversized shoulder-padded glory while telling a story that encapsulates the greedy excessiveness of the Reagan era, perfectly embodied in the film’s nominal villain, Max Lord (The Mandalorian himself, Pedro Pascal), a wishy-washy wannabe oil tycoon conman who chances upon a supercharged wish-rock and unleashes a devastating supernatural “monkey’s paw” upon the world. To say any more would give away a whole raft of spectacular twists and turns that deserve to be enjoyed good and cold, although they did spoil one major surprise in the trailer when they teased the return of Diana’s first love, Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) … needless to say this is another big blockbuster bursting with big characters, big action and BIG IDEAS, just what we’ve come to expect after Wonder Woman’s first triumphant big screen adventure.  Interestingly, the film starts out feeling like it’s going to be a bubbly, light, frothy affair – after a particularly stunning all-action opening flashback to Diana’s childhood on Themyscira, the film proper kicks off with a bright and breezy atmosphere that feels a bit like the kind of Saturday morning cartoon action the consistently impressive set-pieces take such unfettered joy in parodying, but as the stakes are raised the tone grows darker and more emotionally potent, the storm clouds gathering for a spectacularly epic climax that, for once, doesn’t feel too overblown or weighed down by its visual effects, while the intelligent script has unfathomable hidden depths to it, making us think far more than these kinds of blockbusters usually do.  It’s really great to see Chris Pine return since he was one of the best things about the first movie, and his lovably childlike wide-eyed wonder at this brave new world perfectly echoes Diana’s own last time round; Kristen Wiig, meanwhile, is pretty phenomenal throughout as Dr Barbara Minerva, the initially geeky and timid nerd who discovers an impressive inner strength but ultimately turns into a superpowered apex predator as she becomes one of Wonder Woman’s most infamous foes, the Cheetah; Pascal, of course, is clearly having the time of his life hamming it up to the hilt as Lord, playing gloriously against his effortlessly cool, charismatic action hero image to deliver a compellingly troubling examination of the monstrous corrupting influence of absolute power.  Once again, though, the film truly belongs to Gadot – she looks amazing, acts her socks off magnificently, and totally rules the movie.  After this, a second sequel is a no-brainer, because Wonder Woman remains the one DC superhero who’s truly capable of bearing the weight of this particular cinematic franchise on her powerful shoulders – needless to say, it’s already been greenlit, and with both Jenkins and Gadot onboard, I’m happy to sign up for more too …

8.  LOVE & MONSTERS – with the cinemas continuing their frustrating habit of opening for a little while and then closing while the pandemic ebbed and flowed in the months after the summer season, it was starting to look like there might not have been ANY big budget blockbusters to enjoy before year’s end as heavyweights like Black Widow, No Time To Die and Dune pulled back to potentially more certain release slots into 2021 (with only WW84 remaining stubbornly in place for Christmas).  Then Paramount decided to throw us a bone, opting to release this post-apocalyptic horror comedy on-demand in October instead, thus giving me the perfect little present to tie me over during the darkening days of autumn. The end result was a stone-cold gem that came out of nowhere to completely blow critics away, a spectacular sleeper hit that ultimately proved one of the year’s biggest and most brilliant surprises.  Director Michael Matthews may only have had South African indie thriller Five Fingers for Marseilles under his belt prior to this, but he proves he’s definitely a solid talent to watch in the future, crafting a fun and effective thrill-ride that, like all the best horror comedies, is consistently as funny as it is scary, sharing much of the same DNA as this particular mash-up genre’s classics like Tremors and Zombieland and standing up impressively well to such comparisons.  The story, penned by rising star Brian Duffield (who has TWO other entries on this list, Underwater and Spontaneous) and Matthew Robinson (The Invention of Lying, Dora & the Lost City of Gold), is also pretty ingenious and surprisingly original – a meteorite strike has unleashed weird mutagenic pathogens that warp various creepy crawly critters into gigantic monstrosities that have slaughter most of the world’s human population, leaving only a beleaguered, dwindling few to eke out a precarious living in underground colonies. Living in one such makeshift community is Joel Dawson (The Maze Runner’s Dylan O’Brien), a smart and likeable geek who really isn’t very adventurous, is extremely awkward and uncoordinated, and has a problem with freezing if threatened … which makes it all the more inexplicable when he decides, entirely against the advice of everyone he knows, to venture onto the surface so he can make the incredibly dangerous week-long trek to the neighbouring colony where his girlfriend Aimee (Iron Fist’s Jessica Henwick) has ended up.  Joel is, without a doubt, the best role that O’Brien has EVER had, a total dork who’s completely unsuited to this kind of adventure and, in the real world, sure to be eaten alive in the first five minutes, but he’s also such a fantastically believable, fallible everyman that every one of us desperate, pathetic omega-males and females can instantly put ourselves in his place, making it elementarily easy to root for him.  He’s also hilariously funny, his winningly self-deprecating sass and pitch perfect talent for physical comedy making it all the more rewarding watching each gloriously anarchic life-and-death encounter mould him into the year’s most unlikely action hero.  Henwick, meanwhile, once again impresses in a well-written role where she’s able to make a big impression despite her decidedly short screen time, as do the legendary Michael Rooker and brilliant newcomer Ariana Greenblatt as Clyde and Minnow, the adorably jaded, seen-it-all-before pair of “professional survivors” Joel meets en-route, who teach him to survive on the surface.  The action is fast, frenetic and potently visceral, the impressively realistic digital creature effects bringing a motley crew of bloodthirsty beasties to suitably blood-curdling life for the film’s consistently terrifying set-pieces, while the world-building is intricately thought-out and skilfully executed.  Altogether, this was an absolute joy from start to finish, and a film I enthusiastically endorsed to everyone I knew was looking for something fun to enjoy during the frustrating lockdown nights-in.  One of the cinematic year’s best kept secrets then, and a compelling sign of things to come for its up-and-coming director.

7.  PARASITE – I’ve been a fan of master Korean filmmaker Bong Joon-ho ever since I stumbled across his deeply weird but also thoroughly brilliant breakthrough feature The Host, and it’s a love that’s deepened since thanks to truly magnificent sci-fi actioner Snowpiercer, so I was looking forward to his latest feature as much as any movie geek, but even I wasn’t prepared for just what a runaway juggernaut of a hit this one turned out to be, from the insane box office to all that award-season glory (especially that undeniable clean-sweep at the Oscars). I’ll just come out and say it, this film deserves it all.  It’s EASILY Bong’s best film to date (which is really saying something), a masterful social satire and jet black comedy that raises some genuinely intriguing questions before delivering deeply troubling answers.  Straddling the ever-widening gulf between a disaffected idle rich upper class and impoverished, struggling lower class in modern-day Seoul, it tells the story of the Kim family – father Ki-taek (Bong’s good luck charm, Song Kang-ho), mother Chung-sook (Jang Hye-jin), son Ki-woo (Train to Busan’s Choi Woo-shik) and daughter Ki-jung (The Silenced’s Park So-dam) – a poor family living in a run-down basement apartment who live hand-to-mouth in minimum wage jobs and can barely rub two pennies together, until they’re presented with an intriguing opportunity.  Through happy chance, Ki-woon is hired as an English tutor for Park Da-hye (Jung Ji-so), the daughter of a wealthy family, which offers him the chance to recommend Ki-jung as an art tutor to the Parks’ troubled young son, Da-song (Jung Hyeon-jun). Soon the rest of the Kims are getting in on the act, the kids contriving opportunities for their father to replace Mr Park’s chauffeur and their mother to oust the family’s long-serving housekeeper, Gook Moon-gwang (Lee Jung-eun), and before long their situation has improved dramatically.  But as they two families become more deeply entwined, cracks begin to show in their supposed blissful harmony as the natural prejudices of their respective classes start to take hold, and as events spiral out of control a terrible confrontation looms on the horizon.  This is social commentary at its most scathing, Bong drawing on personal experiences from his youth to inform the razor-sharp script (co-written by his production assistant Han Jin-won), while he weaves a palpable atmosphere of knife-edged tension throughout to add spice to the perfectly observed dark humour of the situation, all the while throwing intriguing twists and turns at us before suddenly dropping such a massive jaw-dropper of a gear-change that the film completely turns on its head to stunning effect.  The cast are all thoroughly astounding, Song once again dominating the film with a turn at once sloppy and dishevelled but also poignant and heartfelt, while there are particularly noteworthy turns from Lee Sun-kyun as the Parks’ self-absorbed patriarch Dong-ik and Choi Yeo-jeong (The Concubine) as his flighty, easily-led wife Choi Yeon-gyo, as well as a fantastically weird appearance in the latter half from Park Myung-hoon.  This is heady stuff, dangerously seductive even as it becomes increasingly uncomfortable viewing, so that even as the screws tighten and everything goes to hell it’s simply impossible to look away.  Bong Joon-ho really has surpassed himself this time, delivering an existential mind-scrambler that lingers long after the credits have rolled and might even have you questioning your place in society once you’ve thought about it some. It deserves every single award and every ounce of praise it’s been lavished with, and looks set to go down as one of the true cinematic greats of this new decade.  Trust me, if this was a purely critical best-of list it’d be RIGHT AT THE TOP …

6.  THE OLD GUARD – Netflix’ undisputable TOP OFFERING of the summer came damn close to bagging the whole season, and I can’t help thinking that even if some of the stiffer competition had still been present it may well have still finished this high. Gina Prince-Blythewood (Love & Basketball, the Secret Life of Bees) directs comics legend Greg Rucka’s adaptation of his own popular series with uncanny skill and laser-focused visual flair considering there’s nothing on her previous CV to suggest she’d be THIS good at mounting a stomping great ultraviolent action thriller, ushering in a thoroughly engrossing tale of four ancient, invulnerable immortal warriors – Andy AKA Andromache of Scythia (Charlize Theron), Booker AKA Sebastian de Livre (Matthias Schoenaerts), Joe AKA Yusuf Al-Kaysani (Wolf’s Marwan Kenzari) and Nicky AKA Niccolo di Ginova (Trust’s Luca Marinelli) – who’ve been around forever, hiring out their services as mercenaries for righteous causes while jealously guarding their identities for fear of horrific experimentation and exploitation should their true natures ever be discovered.  Their anonymity is threatened, however, when they’re uncovered by former CIA operative James Copley (Chiwetel Ejiofor), who’s working for the decidedly dodgy pharmaceutical conglomerate run by sociopathic billionaire Steven Merrick (Harry Melling, formerly Dudley in the Harry Potter movies), who want to capture these immortals so they can patent whatever it is that makes them keep on ticking … just as a fifth immortal, US Marine Nile Freeman (If Beale Street Could Talk’s KiKi Layne), awakens after being “killed” on deployment in Afghanistan.  The supporting players are excellent, particularly Ejiofor, smart and driven but ultimately principled and deeply conflicted about what he’s doing, even if he does have the best of intentions, and Melling, the kind of loathsome, reptilian scumbag you just love to hate, but the film REALLY DOES belong to the Old Guard themselves – Schoenaerts is a master brooder, spot-on casting as the group’s relative newcomer, only immortal since the Napoleonic Wars but clearly one seriously old soul who’s already VERY tired of the lifestyle, while Joe and Nicky (who met on opposing sides of the Crusades) are simply ADORABLE, an unapologetically matter-of-fact gay couple who are sweet, sassy and incredibly kind, the absolute emotional heart of the film; it’s the ladies, however, that are most memorable here.  Layne is exceptional, investing Nile with a steely intensity that puts her in good stead as her new existence threatens to overwhelm her and MORE THAN qualified to bust heads alongside her elders … but it’s ancient Greek warrior Andy who steals the film, Theron building on the astounding work she did in Atomic Blonde to prove, once and for all, that there’s no woman on Earth who looks better kicking arse than her (as Booker puts it, “that woman has forgotten more ways to kill than entire armies will ever learn”); in her hands, Andy truly is a goddess of death, tough as tungsten alloy and unflappable even in the face of hell itself, but underneath it all she hides a heart as big as any of her friends’.  They’re an impossibly lovable bunch and you feel you could follow them on another TEN adventures like this one, which is just as well, because Prince-Blythewood and Rucka certainly put them through their paces here – the drama is high (but frequently laced with a gentle, knowing sense of humour, particularly whenever Joe and Nicky are onscreen), as are the stakes, and the frequent action sequences are top-notch, executed with rare skill and bone-crunching zest, but also ALWAYS in service to the story.  Altogether this is an astounding film, a genuine victory for its makers and, it seems, for Netflix themselves – it’s become one of the platform’s biggest hits to date, earning well-deserved critical acclaim and great respect and genuine geek love from the fanbase at large.  After this, a sequel is not only inevitable, it’s ESSENTIAL …

5.  MANK – it’s always nice when David Fincher, one of my TOP FIVE ALL TIME FAVOURITE DIRECTORS, drops a new movie, because it can be GUARANTEED to place good and high in my rundown for that year.  The man is a frickin’ GENIUS, a true master of the craft, genuinely one of the auteur’s auteurs.  I’ve NEVER seen him deliver a bad film – even a misfiring Fincher (see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button or Alien 3) is still capable of creating GREAT CINEMA.  How? Why?  It’s because he genuinely LOVES the art form, it’s been his obsession all his life, and he’s spent every day of it becoming the best possible filmmaker he can be.  Who better to tell the story of the creation of one of the ULTIMATE cinematic masterpieces, then?  Benjamin Ross’ acclaimed biopic RKO 281 covered similar ground, presenting a compelling look into the making Citizen Kane, the timeless masterpiece of Hollywood’s ULTIMATE auteur, Orson Welles, but Fincher’s film is more interested in the original inspiration for the story, how it was written and, most importantly, the man who wrote it – Herman J. Mankiewicz, known to his friends as Mank. One of my favourite actors of all time, Gary Oldman, delivers yet another of his career best performances in the lead role, once a man of vision and incredible storytelling skill whose talents have largely been squandered through professional difficulties and personal vices, a burned out one-time great fallen on hard times whom Welles picks up out of the trash, dusts off and offers a chance to create something truly great again.  The only catch?  The subject of their film (albeit dressed up in the guise of fictional newspaper magnate Charles Foster Kane) is to be real-life publisher, politico and tycoon William Randolph Hurst (Charles Dance), once Mank’s friend and patron before they had a very public and messy falling out which partly led to his current circumstances.  As he toils away in seclusion on what is destined to become his true masterwork, flashbacks reveal to us the fascinating, moving and ultimately tragic tale of his rise and fall from grace in the movie business, set against the backdrop of one of the most tumultuous periods in American history.  Shooting a script that his own journalist and screenwriter father, Jack, crafted and then failed to bring to the screen himself before his death in 2003, Fincher has been working for almost a quarter century to make this film, and all that passion and drive is writ large on the screen – this is a glorious film ABOUT film, the art of it, the creation of it, and all the dirty little secrets of what the industry itself has always really been like, especially in that most glamorous and illusory of times.  The fact that Fincher shot in black and white and intentionally made it look like it was made in the early 1940s (the “golden age of the Silver Screen”, if you will) may seem like a gimmick, but instead it’s a very shrewd choice that expertly captures the gloss and moodiness of the age, almost looking like a contemporary companion piece to Kane itself, and it’s the perfect way to frame all the sharp-witted observation, subtly subversive character development and murky behind-the-scenes machinations that tell the story.  Oldman is in every way the star here, holding the screen with all the consummate skill and flair we’ve come to expect from him, but there’s no denying the uniformly excellent supporting cast are equal to the task here – Dance is at his regal, charismatic best as Hearst, while Amanda Seyfried is icily classy on the surface but mischievous and lovably grounded underneath as Hearst’s mistress, Marion Davies, who formed the basis for Kane’s most controversial character, Arliss Howard (Full Metal Jacket, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Moneyball) brings nuance and complexity to the role of MGM founder Louis B. Mayer, Tom Pelphrey (Banshee, Ozark) is understated but compelling as Mank’s younger screenwriter brother Joseph, and Lily Collins and Tuppence Middleton exude class and long-suffering stubbornness as the two main women in Mank’s life (his secretary and platonic muse, Rita Alexander, and his wife, Sara), while The Musketeers’ Tom Burke’s periodic but potent appearances as Orson Welles help to drive the story in the “present”.  Another Netflix release which I was (thankfully) able to catch on the big screen during one of the brief lulls between British lockdowns, this was a decidedly meta cinematic experience that perfectly encapsulated not only what is truly required for the creation of a screen epic, but also the latest pinnacle in the career of one of the greatest filmmakers working in the business today, powerful, stirring, intriguing and surprising in equal measure. Certainly it’s one of the most important films ABOUT so far film this century, but is it as good as Citizen Kane?  Boy, that’s a tough one …

4.  ENOLA HOLMES – ultimately, my top film for the autumn/winter movie season was also the film which finally topped my Netflix Original features list, as well as beating all other streaming offerings for the entire year (which is saying something, as you should know by now).  Had things been different, this would have been one of Warner Bros’ BIGGEST releases for the year in the cinema, of that I have no doubt, a surprise sleeper hit which would have taken the world by storm – as it is it’s STILL become a sensation, albeit in a much more mid-pandemic, lockdown home-viewing kind of way.  Before you start crying oh God no, not another Sherlock Holmes adaptation, this is a very different beast from either the Guy Ritchie take or the modernized BBC show, instead side-lining the great literary sleuth in favour of a delicious new AU version, based on The Case of the Missing Marquess, the first novel in the Enola Holmes Mysteries literary series from American YA author Nancy Springer.  Positing that Sherlock Holmes (Henry Cavill) and his elder brother Mycroft (Sam Claflin) had an equally ingenious and precocious baby sister, the film introduces us to Enola (Stranger Things’ Millie Bobby Brown), who’s been raised at home by their strong-willed mother Eudoria (Helena Bonham Carter) to be just as intelligent, well-read and intellectually skilled as her far more advantageously masculine elder siblings.  Then, on the morning of her sixteenth birthday, Enola awakens to find her mother has vanished, putting her in a pretty pickle since this leaves her a ward of Mycroft, a self-absorbed social peacock who finds her to be wilfully free-spirited and completely ill equipped to face the world, concluding that the only solution is sending her to boarding school where she’ll learn to become a proper lady.  Needless to say she’s horrified by the prospect, deciding to run away and search for her mother instead … this is about as perfect a family adventure film as you could wish for, following a vital, capable and compelling teen detective-in-the-making as she embarks on her very first investigation, as well as winding up tangled in a second to boot involving a young runaway noble, Viscount Tewkesbury, the Marquess of Basilwether (Medici’s Louis Partridge), and the film is a breezy, swift-paced and rewardingly entertaining romp that feels like a welcome breath of fresh air for a literary property which, beloved as it may be, has been adapted to death over the years.  Enola Holmes a brilliant young hero who’s perfectly crafted to carry the franchise forward in fresh new directions, and Brown brings her to life with effervescent charm, boisterous energy and mischievous irreverence that are entirely irresistible; Cavill and Claflin, meanwhile, are perfectly cast as the two very different brothers – this Sherlock is much less louche and world-weary than most previous versions, still razor sharp and intellectually restless but with a comfortable ease and a youthful spring in his step that perfectly suits the actor, while Mycroft is as superior and arrogant as ever, a preening arse we derive huge enjoyment watching Enola consistently get the best of; Bonham Carter doesn’t get a lot of screen-time but as we’d expect she does a lot with what she has to make the practical, eccentric and unapologetically modern Eudoria thoroughly memorable, while Partridge is carefree and likeable as the naïve but irresistible Tewkesbury, and there are strong supporting turns from Frances de la Tour as his stately grandmother, the Dowager, Susie Wokoma (Crazyhead, Truth Seekers) as Emily, a feisty suffragette who runs a jujitsu studio, Burn Gorman as dastardly thug-for-hire Linthorn, and Four Lions’ Adeel Akhtar as a particularly scuzzy Inspector Lestrade.  Seasoned TV director Harry Bradbeer (Fleabag, Killing Eve) makes his feature debut with an impressive splash, unfolding the action at a brisk pace while keeping the narrative firmly focused on an intricate mystery plot that throws in plenty of ingenious twists and turns before a suitably atmospheric climax and pleasing denouement which nonetheless artfully sets up more to come in the future, while screenwriter Jack Thorne (His Dark Materials, The Scouting Book for Boys, Wonder) delivers strong character work and liberally peppers the dialogue with a veritable cavalcade of witty zingers.  Boisterous, compelling, amusing, affecting and exciting in equal measure, this is a spirited and appealing slice of cinematic escapism that flatters its viewers and never talks down to them, a perfect little period adventure for a cosy Sunday afternoon.  Obviously there’s plenty of potential for more, and with further books to adapt there’s more than enough material for a pile of sequels – Neflix would be barmy indeed to turn their nose up at this opportunity …

3.  1917 – it’s a rare thing for a film to leave me truly shell-shocked by its sheer awesomeness, for me to walk out of a cinema in a genuine daze, unable to talk or even really think about much of anything for a few hours because I’m simply marvelling at what I’ve just witnessed.  Needless to say, when I do find a film like that (Fight Club, Inception, Mad Max: Fury Road) it usually earns a place very close to my heart indeed.  The latest tour-de-force from Sam Mendes is one of those films – an epic World War I thriller that plays out ENTIRELY in one shot, which doesn’t simply feel like a glorified gimmick or stunt but instead is a genuine MASTERPIECE of film, a mesmerising journey of emotion and imagination in a shockingly real environment that’s impossible to tear your eyes away from.  Sure, Mendes has impressed us before – his first film, American Beauty, is a GREAT movie, one of the most impressive feature debuts of the 2000s, while Skyfall is, in my opinion, quite simply THE BEST BOND FILM EVER MADE – but this is in a whole other league.  It’s an astounding achievement, made all the more impressive when you realise that there’s very little trickery at play here, no clever digital magic (just some augmentation here and there), it’s all real locations and sets, filmed in long, elaborately choreographed takes blended together with clever edits to make it as seamless as possible – it’s not the first film to try to do this (remember Birdman? Bushwick?), but I’ve never seen it done better, or with greater skill. But it’s not just a clever cinematic exercise, there’s a genuine story here, told with guts and urgency, and populated by real flesh and blood characters – the heart of the film is True History of the Kelly Gang’s George MacKay and Dean Chapman (probably best known as Tommen Baratheon in Game of Thrones) as Lance Corporals Will Schofield and Tom Blake, the two young tommies sent out across enemy territory on a desperate mission to stop a British regiment from rushing headlong into a German trap (Tom himself has a personal stake in this because his brother is an officer in the attack).  They’re a likeable pair, very human and relatable throughout, brave and true but never so overtly heroic that they stretch credibility, so when tragedy strikes along the way it’s particularly devastating; both deliver exceptional performances that effortlessly carry us through the film, and they’re given sterling support from a selection of top-drawer British talent, from Sherlock stars Andrew Scott and Benedict Cumberbatch to Mark Strong and Colin Firth, each delivering magnificently in small but potent cameos.  That said, the cinematography and art department are the BIGGEST stars here, masterful veteran DOP Roger Deakins (The Shawshank Redemption, Blade Runner 2049 and pretty much the Coen Brothers’ entire back catalogue among MANY others) making every frame sing with beauty, horror, tension or tragedy as the need arises, and the environments are SO REAL it feels less like production design than that someone simply sent the cast and crew back in time to film in the real Northern France circa 1917 – from a nightmarish trek across No Man’s Land to a desperate chase through a ruined French village lit only by dancing flare-light in the darkness before dawn, every scene is utterly immersive and simply STUNNING.  I don’t think it’s possible for Mendes to make a film better than this, but I sure hope he gives it a go all the same.  Either way, this was the most incredible, exhausting, truly AWESOME experience I had at the cinema all year – it’s a film that DESERVES to be seen on the big screen, and I feel truly sorry for those who missed the chance …

2.  BIRDS OF PREY & THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN – the only reason 1917 isn’t at number two is because Warner Bros.’ cinematic DC Extended Universe project FINALLY got round to bringing my favourite DC Comics title to the big screen.  It was been the biggest pleasure of my cinematic year getting to see my top DC superheroines brought to life on the big screen, and it was done in high style, in my opinion THE BEST of the DCEU films to date (yup, I loved it EVEN MORE than the Wonder Woman movies).  It was also great seeing Harley Quinn return after her show-stealing turn in David Ayer’s clunky but ultimately still hugely enjoyable Suicide Squad, better still that they got her SPOT ON this time – this is the Harley I’ve always loved in the comics, unpredictable, irreverent and entirely without regard for what anyone else thinks of her, as well as one talented psychiatrist.  Margot Robbie once more excels in the role she was basically BORN to play, clearly relishing the chance to finally do Harley TRUE justice, and she’s a total riot from start to finish, infectiously lovable no matter what crazy, sometimes downright REPRIHENSIBLE antics she gets up to.  Needless to say she’s the nominal star here, her latest ill-advised adventure driving the story – finally done with the Joker and itching to make her emancipation official, Harley publicly announces their breakup by blowing up Ace Chemicals (their love spot, basically), inadvertently painting a target on her back in the process since she’s no longer under the assumed protection of Gotham’s feared Clown Prince of Crime – but that doesn’t mean she eclipses the other main players the movie’s REALLY supposed to be about.  Each member of the Birds of Prey is beautifully written and brought to vivid, arse-kicking life by what had to be 2020’s most exciting cast – Helena Bertinelli, the Huntress, is the perfect character for Mary Elizabeth Winstead to finally pay off on that action hero potential she showed in Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World, but this is a MUCH more enjoyable role outside of the fight choreography because while Helena may be a world-class dark avenger, socially she’s a total dork, which just makes her thoroughly adorable; Rosie Perez is similarly perfect casting as Renee Montoya, the uncompromising pint-sized Gotham PD detective who kicks against the corrupt system no matter what kind of trouble it gets her into, and just gets angrier all the time, paradoxically making us like her even more; and then there’s the film’s major controversy, at least as far as the fans are concerned, namely one Cassandra Cain.  Sure, this take is VERY different from the comics’ version (a nearly mute master assassin who went on to become the second woman to wear the mask of Batgirl before assuming her own crime-fighting mantle as Black Bat and now Orphan), but personally I like to think this is simply Cass at THE VERY START of her origin story, leaving plenty of time for her to discover her warrior origins when the DCEU finally gets around to introducing her mum, Lady Shiva (personally I want Michelle Yeoh to play her, but that’s just me) – anyways, here she’s a skilled child pickpocket whose latest theft inadvertently sets off the larger central plot, and newcomer Ella Jay Basco brings a fantastic pre-teen irreverence and spiky charm to the role, beautifully playing against Robbie’s mercurial energy.  My favourite here BY FAR, however, is Dinah Lance, aka the Black Canary (not only my favourite Bird of Prey but my very favourite DC superheroine PERIOD), the choice of up-and-comer Jurnee Smollet-Bell (Friday Night Lights, Underground) proving to be the film’s most inspired casting – a club singer with the metahuman ability to emit piercing supersonic screams, she’s also a ferocious martial artist (in the comics she’s one of the very best fighters IN THE WORLD), as well as a wonderfully pure soul you just can’t help loving, and it made me SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY that they got my Canary EXACTLY RIGHT.  Altogether they’re a fantastic bunch of badass ladies, basically my perfect superhero team, and the way they’re all brought together (along with Harley, of course) is beautifully thought out and perfectly executed … they’ve also got one hell of a threat to overcome, namely Gotham crime boss Roman Sionis, the Black Mask, one of the Joker’s chief rivals – Ewan McGregor brings his A-game in a frustratingly rare villainous turn (my number one bad guy for the movie year), a monstrously narcissistic, woman-hating control freak with a penchant for peeling off the faces of those who displease him, sharing some exquisitely creepy chemistry with Chris Messina (The Mindy Project) as Sionis’ nihilistic lieutenant Victor Zsasz.  This is about as good as superhero cinema gets, a perfect example of the sheer brilliance you get when you switch up the formula to create something new, an ultra-violent, unapologetically R-rated middle finger to the classic tropes, a fantastic black comedy thrill ride that’s got to be the most full-on feminist blockbuster ever made – it’s helmed by a woman (Dead Pigs director Cathy Yan), written by a woman (Bumblebee’s Christina Hodson), produced by more women and ABOUT a bunch of badass women magnificently triumphing over toxic masculinity in all its forms.  It’s also simply BRILLIANT – the cast are all clearly having a blast, the action sequences are first rate (the spectacular GCPD evidence room fight in which Harley gets to REALLY cut loose is the undisputable highlight), it has a gleefully anarchic sense of humour and is simply BURSTING with phenomenal homages, references and in-jokes for the fans (Bruce the hyena! Stuffed beaver! Roller derby!).  It’s also got a killer soundtrack, populated almost exclusively by numbers from female artists.  Altogether, then, this is the VERY BEST the DCEU has to offer to date, and VERY NEARLY my absolute FAVOURITE film of 2020.  Give it all the love you can, it sure as hell deserves it.

1.  TENET – granted, the streaming platforms (particularly Netflix and Amazon) certainly saved our cinematic summer, but I’m still IMMEASURABLY glad that my ultimate top-spot winner FOR THE WHOLE YEAR was one I got to experience on THE BIG SCREEN. You gotta hand it to Christopher Nolan, he sure hung in there, stubbornly determined that his latest cinematic masterpiece WOULD be released in cinemas in the summer (albeit ultimately landing JUST inside the line in the final week of August and ultimately taking the bite at the box office because of the still shaky atmosphere), and it was worth all the fuss because, for me, this was THE PERFECT MOVIE for me to get return to cinemas with.  I mean, okay, in the end it WASN’T the FIRST new movie I saw after the first reopening, that honour went to Unhinged, but THIS was my first real Saturday night-out big screen EXPERIENCE since March.  Needless to say, Nolan didn’t disappoint this time any more than he has on any of his consistently spectacular previous releases, delivering another twisted, mind-boggling headfuck of a full-blooded experiential sensory overload that comes perilously close to toppling his long-standing auteur-peak, Inception (itself second only by fractions to The Dark Knight as far as I’m concerned). To say much at all about the plot would give away major spoilers – personally I’d recommend just going in as cold as possible, indeed you really should just stop reading this right now and just GO SEE IT.  Still with us?  Okay … the VERY abridged version is that it’s about a secret war being waged between the present and the future by people capable of “inverting” time in substances, objects, people, whatever, into which the Protagonist (BlacKkKlansman’s John David Washington), an unnamed CIA agent, has been dispatched in order to prevent a potential coming apocalypse. Washington is once again on top form, crafting a robust and compelling morally complex heroic lead who’s just as comfortable negotiating the minefields of black market intrigue as he is breaking into places or dispatching heavies, Kenneth Branagh delivers one of his most interesting and memorable performances in years as brutal Russian oligarch Andrei Sator, a genuinely nasty piece of work who was ALMOST the year’s very best screen villain, Elizabeth Debicki (The Night Manager, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Widows) brings strength, poise and wounded integrity to the role of Sator’s estranged wife, Kat, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson gets to use his own accent for once as tough-as-nails British Intelligence officer Ives, while there are brief but consistently notable supporting turns and cameos from Martin Donovan, Yesterday’s Himesh Patel, Dirk Gently’s Fiona Dourif and, of course, Nolan’s good luck charm, Michael Caine.  The cast’s biggest surprise, however, is Robert Pattinson, truly a revelation in what has to be, HANDS DOWN, his best role to date, Neil, the Protagonist’s mysterious handler – he’s by turns cheeky, slick, duplicitous and thoroughly badass, delivering an enjoyably multi-layered, chameleonic performance which proves what I’ve long maintained, that the former Twilight star is actually a fucking amazing actor, and on the basis of this, even if that amazing new teaser trailer wasn’t making the rounds, I think the debate about whether or not he’s the right choice for the new Batman is now academic.  As we’ve come to expect from Nolan, this is a TRUE tour-de-force experience, a visual triumph and an endlessly engrossing head-scratcher, Nolan’s screenplay bringing in seriously big ideas and throwing us some major narrative knots and loopholes, constantly wrong-footing the viewer while also setting up truly revelatory payoffs from seemingly low-key, unimportant beginnings – this is a film you need to be awake and attentive for or you could miss something pretty vital. The action sequences are, as ever, second to none, some of the year’s very best set-pieces coming thick and fast and executed with some of the most accomplished skill in the business, while Nolan-regular cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema (Interstellar and Dunkirk, as well as the heady likes of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, SPECTRE and Ad Astra) once again shows he’s one of the best camera-wizards in the business today by delivering some absolutely mesmerising visuals.  Notably, Nolan’s other regular collaborator, composer Hans Zimmer, is absent here (although he had good reason, since he was working on his dream project at the time, the fast-approaching screen adaptation of Dune), but Ludwig Göransson (best known for his collaborations with Ryan Coogler Fruitvale Station, Creed and Black Panther, as well as career-best work on The Mandalorian) is a fine replacement, crafting an intriguingly internalised, post-modern musical landscape that thrums and pulses in time with the story and emotions of the characters rather than the action itself. Interestingly it’s on the subject of sound that some of the film’s rare detractions have been levelled, and I can see some of the points – the soundtrack mix is an all-encompassing thing, and there are times when the dialogue can be overwhelmed, but in Nolan’s defence this film is a heady, immersive experience, something you really need to concentrate on, so these potential flaws are easily forgiven.  As a work of filmmaking art, this is another flawless wonder from one of the true masters of the craft working in cinema today, but it’s art with palpable substance, a rewarding whole that proved truly unbeatable in 2020 …

[thepavementsings-archive]

Drop your NBA/F1 comparisons bestie :)

Okay here is my staring 5 instead because NoDunks did a driver comparison to players which was already pretty good. Under the Cut as always :)

PG: Lewis the veteran point guard because he sets the pace, he has the experience and the intuitiveness and the cerebral sense to know what’s going on on the floor at all times. Also point guards are my favourite position so.

SG: thats why Charles is the shooting guard. He’s a combo guard, probably naturally plays the 1, but you slide him down for the GOAT (think FVV). Charles would break some ankles, pull up from 3 deep, splash it it and then bat his eyelashes for a 4 point play if a defender gets even remotely close to him. He would be the James Harden they’re gonna let him take some possessions at the top of the key at the PG and he’s gonna fuck you up with a smirk on his face.would play like trae young and I would hate him for it but he would be right for that.

SF: Pierre is the small forward because OG Anunoby is a SF and they’re both my sexy little faves also the vibe is correct he just is a SF I will take no further questions thanks and goodbye

(This is when I stop caring as much sorry)

PF: This is Daniel because if he was a basketball player he would be a taller lanky version of himself. Idk but that man is gonna have to play some free safety on defence. He’s a stretch 4. Well integrated, versatile. You feel me?

C: This is hard because none of them are large men and picking someone like Este cause he’s tall is boring when in reality he would be the “Chris Boucher barely a 4 gangly man please don’t put him at the 5 his chest will cave in like he Kevon Looney” type. So we’re going to go from left field a bit here and say Carlos. Sturdy. Can handle banging bodies in the low post (sorry). Will take suggestions for this one!!!

[stxvercgersslut]

Always Here

Prompts: “Please don’t go”

A/n: I just had to make this with these promps 😂 @stargazingfangirl18 @navybrat817 this was my fave to write! Also I have nails on that may prevent me from actually writing the correct words sometimes so I apologise 😂

Description: y/n got horribly sick the night before Chris had to go for a huge life changing interview forcing the actor to chose what’s more important to him.

A/n; in this specific oneshot the reader is 3 years old so still a toddler ☺️ I also switch from she/her to you/your quite often. Divider just marks where point of view changes 💞

Temporary tag list: @et-lesailes @jtargaryen18

Warnings: mentions of vomit and over all tones of fluff

Chris Evans x Daughter! Reader

“Yeah yeah, John I’ll be there in around 30 minutes. I’m just about to leave the house now. Just have to drop y/n off at Scott’s for the day and then I’ll be on my way.” The 39 year old actor spoke through his phone whilst juggling not only eating his breakfast but also having to make his little 3 year old, y/n’s, breakfast too all the while having a conversation with his manager about his latest interview. Of course making sure that he was concentrating on cutting Y/n’s toast in to perfect triangles, if they were anything less then perfect of course she would just point blank refuse to eat it, just barely listening to Jake at this point. Even if he didn’t understand her peculiar routine, Chris would never say no to her. He couldn’t help it, she was just too damn adorable.

From the moment that Y/n had been placed in his arms exactly 3 years ago, the actor had vowed to always protect her from demons that lerk around them until the day that he too his last breath. Which he of course prayed wouldn’t be too soon since he longed to watch his precious angel grow up into the strong confident women he was positive she was going to turn into. “Okay well make sure you get here quickly. You’re already fifteen minuets late Chris. I don’t know how much longer I can stall them.” The sigh of frustration coming from the other end of the phone line was pretty damn obvious as John thought about the next words he could say. It was almost extremely audible to hear the cogs turning in his head. But Chris couldn’t have been more pissed from his managers choice of words if he tried. However, he attempted to keep his cool. If not for his sake then for his 3 year olds sake. She really didn’t need to hear him get angry. Especially not on the phone. “Okay okay! I’m sorry, y/n’s been awake all night with a cough.” And with that Chris finally wrapped up his conversation, hanging up the phone and leaving the kitchen, Y/n’s perfectly neat triangle toast in hand.

By the time chris had walked back into his toddlers room he found that she was unfortunately still passed out in her miniature toddler sized bed. Snuggled firmly into the blankets looking like a beautiful angel from where he was standing. How could he wake her up from such a deep slumber when she’d only just managed to fall asleep nearly an hour ago? Exactly! He just couldn’t. She looked so peaceful laying there with the blankets draped across her, almost as if she had no care in the world. Her y/h/c locks smushed across her face hiding the otherwise noticeable flush of red on her cheeks from the fever that she had been running. Any other day Chris would have cancelled to stay with her, but today he couldn’t. Not when his career needed the extra little boost.

But then again what mattered more to him? His career? Or the physical well-being of his 3 year old daughter? Now that was a question that hardly needed an answer! Especially when it was clear as day that Chris would choose his little girl in a heartbeat if he could. No matter what! But this situation was different. Unfortunately he couldn’t just say no to his manager without a good reason for cancelling, although Y/n being incredibly sick was definitely a good enough reason right?

❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅

With a great big sigh the actor finally placed your toast on the side before gently pulling the blankets from over you, exposing your tiny little figure to the welcomes cool air. “Sweetheart? Y/n? Can you wake up for me please?” Your father soothes as he attempted to coax you into waking up, but he should have known better. If he wanted you to wake up quickly then he should have thought of a better way of doing so then just shaking you. But with you being so weak from barely getting any sleep? He wasn’t exactly sure you would wake up. “Come on baby...can you wake up for daddy?” This time Chris managed to pick you up, rocking you from side to side like he had when you were barely hours old but this time being a little firmer with his rocking in his arms to make damn sure that you did wake up. And soon enough you finally did.

Slowly but surely your eyes opened, taking in your surroundings once again as your eyes adjusted to the agonisingly bright room, working hard to bring yourself back to reality. “Morning bubba” he cooed, seconds away from offering you toast before you once again began to cough harshly. Pulling a cringe like expression into his face. “Awe baby, I hate leaving when you’re like this, but I really don’t have a choice....will you be okay with uncle Scott for a few hours?” Chris questioned whilst still rocking you ever so gently, his right hand beginning to rub and pat your back In hopes that it would somehow help you stop coughing. Or at least just help you settle. At this point Chris seriously was considering just cancelling the interview with Jimmy Fallon so that he could stay with you. Once you’d finally stopped with your god damn awful coughing fit that your body had subjected you to, you were finally able to speak. “Daddy no leave! Daddy stay! Please don’t go”You spoke hoarsely whilst snuggling closer into Chris’s chest making his heart begin to tear due to how sick you were. Now it really was difficult to pluck up the courage to leave you. “Daddy can’t stay baby, I have to go to work. But you’re going to have a lot of fun with uncle Scott okay? He’s going to take care of you whilst I’m not there” The Male spoke as he kissed the top of your sweaty forehead, grimacing at home warm toy actually were. Which of course seemed to make Chris slightly more curious as to if you were fit enough to even sit in the back seat of his car where he wouldn’t be able to see you.

Thankfully Chris’s trail if thought had been paused when the sound of his ring tone echoed around the room, finally hitting his ears and startling you in the process. Quickly fishing out his phone only to find that this was in fact Scott calling, making his eye light up. Now was his chance to help you as much as physically possible. “Hey Scott, what’s up?” Chris spoke as he finally answered the phone, sitting down on your bed with you still in his arms as he attempted to get you to at least eat one piece or toast. Which at the moment you seemed to just completely refuse. Making Chris even more concerned, meaning that he really wasn’t paying much attention to his brother. In fact, he had completely missed everything that Scott had said, humming in agreement even though he had no idea what he was even agreeing too. For all he knew he was agreeing to sky diving.

❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅

Did Chris really think he was born yesterday? Apparently so. Come on Chris it really didn’t take a genius to realise that his own brother wasn’t paying attention. So instead of babbling on about whatever he has been trying to speak to his brother about, because at this point even he had forgotten, he did the decent thing and made sure to check on his older brother. “Ch—“ the younger sibling questioned before being stoppe by the stomach churning unpleasant sound of his usually bubbly niece coughing harshly through the phone. The sound in itself was enough to shatter Scott’s heart to pieces. He loved that little girl with a passion, always asking about her whenever he talked to Chris, so to hear that she was so ill seemed to spark worry in the younger Evans sibling. “Chris? Don’t go to that interview and don’t even think about even putting her in your car!” The Male demanded as he grimaced at the sound of his niece coughing a lot more violently now, until the sound of her throwing up and Chris’s loud sigh could be heard from the other end of the phone. Oh that poor girl. She really was having the worst time right now.

❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅

The line went dead for a solid 3 minutes as Chris hurried to the bathroom, never stopping the slow motion of his hand rubbing small circles on your back in hopes that, if you needed to throw up again, the small gesture would help to prevent you from having to force the vomit out of your throat. “Okay baby okay....that’s not gonna come out of your hair on its own...I’m gonna need to bath you” the actor explained to you whilst helping you stand next to the toilet, directing your head into the bowl as you threw up again. Of course, forgetting Scott was even on the phone until the sound of his brother deliberately shouting int the phone for a response seemed to startle him. Quickly picking up the phone before they started their conversations (italics is Scott normal is Chris.

“Chris?! What the hell just happened?”

“Y/n threw up all over herself and me. I need to go call John and let him know I’m gonna be later then expected.”

“Don’t you dare! Send me Johns number and I’ll call him, you’re not going to leave the house! Instead you’re going to stay with your daughter and make sure she’s okay! Y/n comes first always”

“Funny thing is you’re not actually the boss of me”

“No I’m not but that doesn’t mean I won’t beat your ass if you don’t stay with your three year old daughter!”

“Scott this interview could be career changing!”

“And if you don’t stay with y/n it’ll be life changing!”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. If you leave Y/n then something could happen whilst you’re being interviewed. Do you really want to risk that chance?”

“No not really”

“The stay with Y/n and send me johns number.”

Chris’s groan wasn’t barely above a whisper as he pressed his phone against his shoulder, keeping his ear firmly against it to prevent any unwanted accidents whilst he filled the bathtub with warm water. Of course grimacing every time you threw up into the toilet. Oh how he wanted to take this dreadful bug from you. But he just couldn’t. “Okay okay fine!” And with that Chris ended the conversation with his brother, swiftly hanging up the phone and forwarding his managers number to Scott before switching his phone off. There was no need to keep his phone on now since you were all that mattered to him right now. Besides, if he did answer his phone or even keep it turned on then he’d 100% end up arguing with his manager about ‘not taking his job seriously’. That just couldn’t happen right now.

Soon enough Chris halted the flow of warm and cold water, quickly dipping his elbow into the mix to make sure it wouldn’t scold you before he finally turned to you once it was deemed child friendly. “Alright pumpkin, lets get you all cleaned up and into some new pjs. Hopefully your fever will go down after your bath.” The Male soothes as he waited for you to finally finish throwing up before picking you up to bath you. Oh he was most certainly in for a tough day.

[et-lesailes]

Ooh Rhee can you please write a Chris x wife!reader smutty piece where they celebrate his birthday with his fave things and also includes him unwrapping his best present aka his wife in brand sexy lacy lingerie and big ribbon bow for him to unwrap and he definitely rips her panties that they break

( for reference, this is the lingerie reader will wear ! )

You smile happily as you watch your husband take a giant bite of the cake you custom ordered from his absolute favorite bakery in Boston, the twinkle in his blue eyes and grin across his lips practically contagious. "Is it good? You're always switching up your favorite flavor, I hope I got the right one." You speak fondly before taking a bite yourself, standing by his side at the table and he scoffs as he extends his arm to wrap around your waist. "It's fucking perfect. Thanks so much, baby. And these presents you got me?" He looks at the unopened gift bags and boxes lying on the table- spread across is a customized Pats jersey, a rather fancy bottle opener for his beer in the shape of the Boston skyline, a deep red hoodie from his favorite workout store because you're always stealing his, and, finally, as a little gag gift- a pair of socks with Dodger's face printed all over them. "This stuff is amazing. I can't believe you got me all this. Thank you." He marvels, shaking his head to himself.

"You don't think this is all, do you?" you ask innocently, taking another bite before setting your plate down on the table. He blinks before laughing, gazing up at you suspiciously. "What? Babe, come on, I don't deserve all this! You're really spoiling me over here, huh? What else do you have for me?"

You smirk and slip out of his hold, simply lifting a finger indicating him to wait before turning around and heading for the bedroom. The lingerie's waiting in your side of the closet, hidden in the back- you're excited as you put it on, tying everything up into a perfect bow before looking at yourself in the mirror. He's going to love unwrapping this. You slide on a pair of black heels, his favorite on you, before walking back out, casually leaning against the doorway to the bedroom as you gaze at him further off. "Your next present's ready to be opened..."

He looks up from his cake and his jaw immediately drops as he stares you up and down, the hunger already visible in those crystal eyes. "Holy fuck. You... You look... fuck." You giggle, casually turning around to give him a view of your ass. "Oh, how I love when you get inarticulate..."

He immediately stands up and comes over, grabbing your waist from behind and jerking you to his body. Leaning down, his warm breath on your skin making you shiver, he mutters huskily into your ear, "Trust me, baby doll, you're going to be the inarticulate one by the time I'm done with you."

With that, he pulls you into the bedroom, smacking your ass demandingly as he grunts, "Turn around." You obey more than happily, turning to face him again as you gaze up at him innocently. "Yes, sir." He runs his fingers over the silky material of the lingerie, his chest already heaving from excitement. He slowly plays with the bow, shaking his head to himself. "Look at you. My favorite birthday present."

"Then unwrap me already," you playfully demand, and he smirks in amusement, leaning in to kiss you roughly.

"I hope you weren't intending on saving this wrapping paper for next year."

You blink, about to ask him what he means until he suddenly yanks on the bow strings so hard, he not only "unwraps" you but rips the entire damn thing. Your mouth is hanging open in shock looking down at the tattered red material upon your body, your torso and parts of your breast now revealed, your panties practically hanging by a thread. "Christopher Robe-" you start to gasp out, but he simply smirks and pulls you in by the back of your neck for another kiss, running his hand down between your legs already teasing your entrance with his thick fingers. "What? I'm the birthday boy, aren't I?" he murmurs between heated kisses, rubbing you hard. You can barely kiss him back because all you're doing is moaning, your body weight completely relying on his hold at this point.

He walks you back towards the bed, pushing you onto your back. His finger slides inside you as he gazes down at your face, loving to watch every pleasured expression and hear every lewd moan. His other hand moves to push aside any material still atop your breasts, then leaning in to latch his mouth onto the right one as he sucks roughly, expertly fingering you as he lets out muffled groans of satisfaction. He plays with your left one, groping, squeezing, massaging, fingers cheekily pinching your sensitive nipple while his lips purse around the other one- he always knows how to put your senses into overdrive.

He's not done with you when you cum all over his fingers, of course not. You know how much he loves your butt, and so you want to give him a good view when he fucks you; he's practically drooling watching you get on your hands and knees for him.

His hands are gripping your waist, blues staring down at your ass as he snaps his hips forward, thrusting into you. Rough, just the way he likes it. Your body's rocked forward, your moans loud and sultry, your hair being pulled by one hand making your head tilt back while his other hand smacks at your ass repeatedly, liking the way it jiggles with every thrust. He forces your back down until your cheek is pressed against the mattress, your butt now higher up in the air. His groans are loud and husky as he increases his pace, staring down at you with lust and amazement. "Shit, baby. You could buy me the whole damn world, but you're always going to be the best present for me, you know that?" he growls somewhat strained, smirking weakly. "So wet and tight for me, I love fucking your sweet little pussy so much..."

You're at a loss for words, your breaths and moans shaky, your whimpers becoming loud and high pitched. "Oh, God...! Chris...!" is the best you can do, your fingers curling into the bedsheets underneath you, your cheeks glowing pink. "Chris, I'm going to cum...!" He groans just from hearing you, watching as you press yourself back against him, hand raising to slap your ass hard. "Go ahead, baby, shit, I'm close too!"

You find your release with a gasp, your head finally resting with your forehead down against the mattress, your messy hair everywhere. He cums inside you, his groan loud and open, one hand running through his soft brown hair as he catches his breath. He lies down beside you as you readjust yourself on your back, his strong arms immediately pulling your naked body close, a chuckle escaping his lips seeing some parts of red silk still draped over your body haphazardly.

"Well, I'd say I put my present to pretty good use."

[theyanderespecialist]

Outlast Gang Bang 1 (One Shot) Various X OC Sissy Mark

(marks pov)

I cover my ears the sirens blaring as the lights flash.. patients ran around as I try to find someone I knew. The priest most likely, Dr. tragger. maybe Christ. He must be scared. Then the twins, then..then Frank and then Eddie.

I walk through the halls calling their names, desperate to find them as I continue to call out for them, going into room after room as I see the priest as I ran over. "father, father your okay!"

"Mark, Mark come with me. It's dangerous."

"No I have to find the others, my patients and Dr. Tragger. I cannot and will not leave them to suffer." I say. "Do you know where they are? I need to make sure they are all okay."

(Ooofff poor mark has no idea what is about to happen XD)

"come, they are in the chapel." He said as he lead me to it, and he was telling the truth they were all there, however he shut the door suddenly

"What are you doing?" I ask confused as he locked the chapel doors.

He didn't speak as tragger suddenly walked up and grabbed me. His one hand on my waist...the other one on my legs.

"He's just ensuring you can't run anymore buddy." He said, a smirk on his face

"Run? Why would I run? I am just helping patients." I say confused.

However his hands suddenly trailed up. "You've been running away from us since the start buddy, you think I didn't notice that you'd ask to change shifts?"

"That was so I could sleep in." I say. "Why does it matter?"

I suddenly jerk as his hand went down my shrubs pants

"Wh-What are you doing!?!" I demand to know scared as he jerks my cock making it stir.

I felt odd, I was scared as I tried to back away but Father Martin held me steady.

(Man he's not beating around the bush ..but he is beating marks Meat)

(XD)

I groaned and felt him jerk me off to full hardness. I still tried to get away but their grips only tightened more when I did that. I groaned and then he moved his hand down and slip a finger over my clit. I groaned and shudder.

"So your file was right you have a cunt to~" He says grinning.

My eyes widen. "Please--" I was cut off when he pushed a finger between my lips, not deep but still was uncomfortable.

I whine softly and tried to pull away

He didn't enter any further as he pulled away, but his hands suddenly move to my chest.

"I wonder, are you more feminine or masculine under here?" He said.

"G-Guys.." I moan out.

"Tragger stop hogging her." I hear Chris say and I look at him shocked

He... wasn't going to try and save me?

"I'm not just.. examining her~" he said as he pulled my scrub shirt off as I went red in the face.

For a girl I was small.. but I'm not a girl, I'm a boy, and yes, I grew some breast tissue. Maybe a small B cup..

"Nice cut little breasts~" He says and leans down taking off the wrapping I had on them.

The wrapping fell to the ground as I blushed darkly only to cry out as he pinched the nipple. I cried out as my chest was always sensitive.

"don't you think her chest is nice...Eddie~?" Trager asked as I tried to get out of their grips as Eddie walked up.

"A bit small, but nice and perky~" He says and licks my other nipple. "They will get bigger when she is filled with my seed~"

I shudder at that knowing this was wrong and yet..

"Well don't worry Eddie buddy, her toys were an a when she came last year, and I've got some special medications of course." Tragger asaod as Eddie smirked.

"T-They aren't small.." I mutter, why that was the point that annoyed me, I don't know. A b cup isn't that small..

"They are adorable though just like my darling~" he says smiling at me it made me feel warm

However I tried to cut that thought out of my head as his hands grazed against the nipple causing me to let out a surprised jerk

"And oh so sensitive~" He purrs twisting it gently.

I let out another jerky spasm as he pulled down my pants, completely ignoring my cock as he rubbed my lips, his lips biting on my nipples. "Perhaps one day we can experiment with some nipple rings for you~" he said as I feel Mattson let go of me. I could run..but I didn't..as Christ came up behind me, I feel his large hands suddenly grasp my ass. They weren't fucking me...they were just teasing me both with their grasps and their words.

(Because you're a slut that gets off being talked dirty to and told your a whore, and that's what they are gonna do, Gott loosen you ;))

(XD Mark is a sissy slut XD)

Chris gripped my ass with one hand and my chest with the other massaging both. I couldn't help it the loan I tried to desperately to hold back came out, I've never felt more powerless..or this good. He smirked and started to kiss down my neck and bit my shoulder. I cried out and with Eddie fingering came hard from both my cock and woman hood.

He pulled away slow looking at his hands. "I'm not one for men." He said. "But I am one for making you cum~" he said as suddenly the others walked over.

"Alright alright two to start to not overwhelm him." Trager said. They weren't serious..

"We need our turn first." One twin said. Tom the one with the hair says.

"Yes we do." Tim adds

"the others don't know him as well as we do."

"Yes." Tim agree. "We known him the most and longest

They suddenly move forward as I they smirked at me. Tom bent me on my hands and knees and Tim kisses me my first kiss. I feel him grip the side of my face. The kiss was hot, passionate, and messy as he looked at me as I panted, drool still connecting our mouths.

"Mm... think I know.how to make this better." He said as he grabbed my bag as I was confused, his brother just smirking as he walked over.. with my makeup bag, roughly grabbing my face as he took out my lipsticks he seemed to be stuck between the hot pink and bright red.

They went with the bright red and he had me put it on as well as my mascare and eyeliner. After that was done I see Tim had removed his pants and tom stuck his tongue in my ass.

I let out a shocked cry as my legs try to kick him away. "g-get off!"

Tim looked at me and smirked. "Why don't you put on a show for us~? And them? If you do, we'll go as easy on you as you need." (Don't trust him) he whispered in my ear.

"L-Like what?" I moaned. back as he placed a finger on my bottom lip.

"Oh..a sultry, sexy professional who is a total sissy slut but poorly hides it." He whispered as I looked confused but I already had agreed when I humored the idea.

"O-ok--oh! N-No stop! T-That's the wr-oo~" A genuine moan slipped out as I gather my nerves once more."th-the wrong hole! T-This is unacceptable behavior towards your h-head nurse!" I snap. And part of it was how I truly felt but something in me..felt excited.

"We do what we want with sissy sluts like you~" Tim says and rubs his cock against my lips I could tell he was going to take it slow. "Now lick my cock like a lollipop head nurse~"

I almost did.. bit I stop myself.

"T-There's no way I'd lick that.. that thing." I said and I wasn't lying. "I wouldn't ever want to lick that dirty, disgusting ..huge.. thick ..cock.."

"Then we will just have to punish you~" Tom says and bites my ass and I yelp.

Tim starts to jerk off his cock occasionally smacking it against my cheeks and I moaned as he did and soon he came thick ropes of cum on my face and smearing it into my cheeks.

I let out a moan as he suddenly pushed it against my face once more.

"Come on you sissy, look at it. This is what a real man's cock is like. get a good look,because your cock will never be like this." He said smearing it against my cheek as my body suddenly shuddered, my cock and womanhood feeling weird..

"T-That's s-so cruel to say to your superior.." I said trying to not let my voice change.

(Oof mark being a superior. The only thing he's superior at is being a masochist who can cum while only sucking a cock)

(AMEN XD)

"You better star licking it or my brother here will fuck you senseless without any lube~" He orders and that made me shudder more.

"F-Fine you disgusting man~!" I say.

I look at the cock as I give a kiss to the head before licking up the shaft as I let out a moan when he brother would roll his tongue inside of mebefore he suddenly retracted as I ha e a confused look.

"Look at you, being a good slut." "You call yourself our superior, you're supposed to watch us and make sure we are safe, and here you are, taking orders from us. It's rather pathetic isn't it Tim? No wonder she dresses like a girl, she's not a man at all" he states as I kept licking the shaft as I actually shudder at the insult.

It was turning me on so damn much and I could feel my cock ache. "Her big cock is a lie to what she really is a sissy slut begging to be teased." Tom says.

I moaned as I was closer than ever.

However I tried to keep in the role but it was so hard..

"I think she's actually getting off to it and she hasn't even put your cock in her mouth."

I glared at him. "That is enough Ti-"

He cuts me off shoving his cock in my mouth. I let out a choked gag as he gripped my hair.

"sissy sex toys don't speak." He said.

"I think underneath all this is a whore who can't wait to be fucked up the ass, in nice frilly outfits, we'll even set some new rules what do you think Tom?"

"Oh I know she was born an anal slut. I agree though Tim. No standing to pee being one of them, with supervised bathroom trips just to make sure." He said as my fave burned red as I let out a whine. To have no control of how I went to the bathroom..to be told that they'd be making sure, taking any masculinity I had from me..it somehow aroused me as I only realized I was bucking my hips forward

"I think he finally wants something in her slutty ass~" Tim says.

"I agree~" Tom says with a smirk. "Ready for my cock you nasty slut~"

I look back at Tom as I couldn't help but pull from Tim's cock, giving a lick to it before answering.

"G-Give it to.me~.dont hold back~" I moan

He smirked and thrust in hard I cried out and Tim thrusts in my mouth again. They were now spit roasting me. I let out a loud moan into their crotch. Spit hung out the corners of my mouth as he would thrust in when Tim would thrust out, never lea I g me empty.

"Look at her, she's a total natural~"

"what about her sweet little bussy."

"Mmmphh,", I try to tell them no but it just came as a moan

"Nice a tight~ fits like a damn glove two sizes to small~" he moans. "Can't wait to fill it up~"

I felt so full..and it was just two fingers inside of me. I let out a loud moan pulling away from his cock as I rub my cheek against the dripping, slimey member, moaning at the feeling of being less than.

I almost could take it I needed to cum so bad~! It was all I wanted right now~

"Hm? What's this?" He asked a smirk on his face as I moan.

"I-I-I love your cock." I said as I kissed it as he smirked.

"do you think a sissy like you deserves to have such a nice cock ramming into her nasty slutty mouth?" He asked his tone making me shudder and clench around Tom.

"No but please! Give it to me! So me how much of a cock sleeve I am~!" I beg

He looked at me for a moment as he kissed me again. And although it seemed rough..it was so gentle. . Like he was making sure I didn't actually think that low of my self. He slowly pulled away only to lay his heavy, hot, twitching cock on my forehead.

"Well get to making yourself worthy." He said as I knew what he was implying he wanted me to do. "And don't forget to worship them, letting everyone hear how much you love them."

(Gag)

(Gags)

I started to lick his balls and mentally gaged I did not even kick my own balls. Why would I want to suck his but that is exactly what I did taking both into my mouth. I suck on him, feeling Tim's hand push against my clit as I moaned as I kiss and lick him before pulling up to the base, kissing, licking, biting at the shaft, smearing my lipstick.

He groaned and Then pulled back cumming on my face and I feel Tom cum on my ass I was drench in cum. "Who is next?" Tim asks and I fall to the floor they could not be serious.