#(although that is also true lol and i will never not be salty)

[nattikay]

so I've been rewatching Trollhunters on the treadmill over the past few weeks.

y'know. I can acknowledge when a story choice I dislike is still good writing. Neteyam's death? Absolutely hated it, broke my heart, 1000% wish it never happened. BUT, I can acknowledge that it worked for the story and characters, and was written well.

That said. Retconning trollJim? yeah sorry i still think that was a genuinely bad writing decision

[hellsslibrary]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚NSFW Alphabet with Leona Kingscholar˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

DNI : minors.

!!Warnings : sub!bottom!Leona, male reader, breeding kink, tail play(?), oral, bratty behavior, toys, cockwarming, marking, very vague reference to somnophilia.

Ruggie <————«« Leona »»————> Floyd.

Savanaclaw. Leona Kingscholar.

A = Aftercare (What are they like after sex?)

He falls asleep. Did you expect another? He sleeps most of his day, it is obvious that he will fall asleep after sex, because he is especially tired than usual. Although, if he is especially kind today, he will still make sure you are satisfied. And if you're not, he might even let you fuck him while he sleeps.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Your thighs. Again, what did you expect? He can sleep on them, he can sit on them, he can squeeze them like an anti-stress, he can leave hickeys and bites on them, and between them is your most delicious part. Obviously he loves it.

In himself... This is his body, yes. Especially his muscles and maybe scars. He likes to show off with them, obviously because he doesn't show them often.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

He has very thick cum, I don't know why, I just have a feeling that he cums a little more than average and yes ... Heck, it's also a little more salty than usual.

He doesn't care where you end up. Because in almost all situations you will have to wash it, so washing your and his sperm is your problem only. But he still prefers when you cum inside him. He likes this feeling of fullness and warmth (literally) inside him.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Well... He gets excited when he sees you angry. He is the most ordinary brat, although he is a pillow princess / pillow prince, but still. Leona loves this expression of anger or passive aggression in your voice, and especially in your eyes if you are not too emotional. It turns him on extremely, especially if you are angry with him. Although once he realizes that you are mad at him and he realizes that he will be punished later and he will probably have to do something on his own... He wants to sleep and pretend it didn't happen, it was a dream, lol.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

I think he's one of the few non-virgins. True, I doubt that he had too hectic sex life. Just a few short flings. But he fully understands what he does and how he does it... Although it seems to me that he was never at the bottom, because it hurt his pride too much earlier, and I guess it would be difficult to persuade him to become a bottom, but he equally quickly agreed as long as you weren't noisy and he liked it, but probably more due to the fact that almost always it means less work.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

Fuck, it's cowgirl/reverse cowgirl! As much as he doesn't want to lift his lazy ass once again, he will still (probably) never refuse if you want him to ride you. He loves that feeling of control he has over you in these positions and it's very satisfying for him in every way.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

I don't know for sure, but I think he's generally not very talkative during sex. Although if he talked more, he would lean towards the more humorous side due to his love of teasing and pissing you off.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He doesn't really care about his hair there, but since he's a prince (there's a pubic hair etiquette, no kidding), he shaves it off from time to time when it grows to a certain length and starts prickling his skin. The color of the carpet is exactly the same as on the drapes, although they are much more curly on the carpet.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He's surprisingly romantic. Although he will never admit it and will not openly show it. But he loves to hug you, his tail wraps around some part of your body unconsciously, he loves light kisses and all that.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He does it often, like really often. True, he probably does this out of boredom and before going to bed (which is exactly a dream, not a nap). He just puts his hand in his underpants, pulling out his cock, quickly masturbates and falls asleep satisfied (having cleaned before that of course ... Well, more precisely, after wiping his hand and cock, yes).

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Well... Breeding kink? You can't stop me from saying this every fucking time. I just want to fertilize them. Ahem, ahem, what are we talking about? He just wants your cum in him as he sighs sweetly as you keep filling him up over and over again. Cockwarming. He probably sleeps with your cock inside him from time to time, so it's not surprising. Um, I would say markings? Like... He's very possessive. So after having sex with him, you will be walking around with hickeys / bites, possibly bruises and scratches from his hands all over your body.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

He doesn't care. You can take him anywhere you want, and he'll make you take him anywhere he wants (although he won't insist if you're uncomfortable, of course). But the comfortable bed is his favorite place, it's obvious.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

He is surprisingly very easily aroused. Any careless touch or phrase from you can cause a sudden excitement in him (but not a boner yet). So if you push it a little further and keep pushing it, it will definitely pull you into some closet.

N = NO (Something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

First, of course, never, I repeat never, do not somehow indicate his royal origin. I don't think I need to explain why. And secondly, do not pay much attention to someone else, especially to some particular dragon fae, besides him, he is extremely jealous.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Definitely receive. He loves to lie on his back while you suck him off/eat him out. So he will just put his hand on your head and whisper praises and some nice words to you.

I believe he is also quite willing to please you if you wish, although he will certainly grumble before doing so, but will do so without argument. And he's extremely good at blowjob, I guess I should mention that, so I guess you can consider those rare moments as a reward.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Something slow but rough. Deep, sharp, but rare thrusts, yes. He loves that rare pace where you slowly come out and then abruptly insert your entire length, poking into his prostate, which is why he is always grabbing for something.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Yes, he's all for it. He sees no reason why not. Although obviously loves regular sex more. But you often have quickies since he's a very busy person actually, apparently sleeping somewhere in the Botanical Garden right now.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Well... Yes, he is quite yes. While he'll probably act proud if you suggest something too perverted for his taste, he's easily broken by saying something like "Afraid?"

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He has too much stamina, like really huge. 15-22 rounds? Kind of, yes. He has an impossibly high libido, and his stamina makes it even more unbearable, although pleasant, of course.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He has a couple of dildos, but nothing more than that. He just sometimes uses them to make it easier or vice versa to complicate his task to finish. Although he will use anything if you offer it to him, whether on himself or on you.

U = Unfair (How much do they like to tease)

He hates when you tease him, he's so damn impatient and he'll get so annoying even though it hasn't even been five minutes if you do. But at the same time, he loves to tease you by riding you more slowly or faster, depending on the situation, moving his fingers/toys around some parts of your body and so on.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Like 1/10, he's the quietest in all of Twisted Wonderland, I guess. Kind of true, just low sighs and maybe lowing, but nothing too loud. It takes a hell of a lot of work to make him seriously moan, imp.

W = Wild Card (Get a random head canon for the character of your choice)

He loves when you pull his tail. Gently, of course. But he loves it when you fuck him and tug on his tail as he wags in pleasure quickly and impulsively, coiling around your arm and wrist.

X = X-Ray (Let's see what's going on in those pants, picture or words)

He has a great body! Muscular, polished, but at the same time slender! A few scars here and there too. His cock... 7 inches somewhere/17,7 cm. His cock is circumcised and he is slightly tilted forward.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Incredibly strong and high libido. He wants you every nanosecond and your cock in him. He wants you always, everywhere, regardless of circumstances, time, people and nothing at all.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fell asleep afterwards)

Very easy. He falls asleep almost immediately. You can turn away for a couple of seconds and then hear him snort and softly snore when you find that he is sleeping again and you have to wash him again lol.

[zarkishere]

I remembered so uh have Ruben rant

TW// Gore, sadism

One of my favorite things when making an OC is thinking 'what do they eat?'. I don't know why, I just find it really entertaining! For example, Colin (my SM OC) is a vegan (which is funny to me, since he's around cannibals all the time), Winger eats mostly meat (small mice and whatnot, since he's a bird of prey), and Ruben...well, he's particular for an interesting reason!

You see, Ruben has ageusia...what's that? well, it means that he can't taste things. No sweet, sour, salty, bitter or whatever else. (which means his sense of smell is also fucked up)

He was born that way--no one else in his family has that, he didn't get an infection or anything, he was just born that way. Because of this, his preference in food comes from the texture of the meal, rather than the taste since he...yknow...can't taste things.

The thing is that in his whole life, Ruben NEVER found out that people Actually Taste Things. He thought when people said 'this food tastes good' they meant the texture, and that it was just some odd language thing where when you're talking about food you don't say texture, you say taste! (he's a little stupid, bear with him)

BECAUSE he relies on the feeling rather than taste or smell, he really likes trying new foods! No 'taste' in the way in case of putrid food, just pure texture. After he saw his mom get killed and ended up alone, even in the short while he was in solitude, it took a toll on him. Ruben is a social creature, so...being alone is the worst kind of torture for him.

At first, hunting was a bit disgusting, and he wasn't particularly good at it at first, so it was even worse. It made him feel guilty. Poor beast, innocent of any blame, getting killed and cooked (poorly) for a sinners' survival. But he slowly started finding it more and more interesting, biting and scratching as if he was a monster himself when the prey dared to fight back. Putting his hands in their guts, feeling the dying warmth of the carcass...not in a sexual way, please don't be weird.

Of course, this moved on to humans too. The feel of the knife at a mans throat, the sound of the blood starting to bubble at their throat, the panic in their eyes... Ruben REALLY enjoys killing with knives. It feels more personal.

His honor is pretty neutral, I suppose. He's not a good person, not a horrible one (although you might think so because of what I just said LOL), BUT, in the main AU his honor is mid-high....why? because of Javier. They talked about morals, helping people, friends and family, revolution! and it really helped Ruben become a better person. He's a follower, tell him something, and he'll stick with it. With Javier, Ruben turns his sadness into creativity; embroidery, sewing, baking, hunting. He's loyal, kind, still a bit sadistic, but he follows Charles and Javier, and they say that's wrong, so he keeps himself in line.

But...in alternate AU's where he doesn't start dating Javier... Ruben sticks with the Callander brothers. And in those AU's he turns out MUCH WORSE. With the callanders that sadness becomes rage. rage at everyone, at the government for taking what he loved, at the people around him for not understanding him, at himself for becoming this THING... He becomes a true sadist (not that he wasn't before, it's just that he lets himself indulge in it). His appearance is different too, much more scarred and a lot angrier.

He kills for fun, hunts people down for sport, just to see how long they can run. He becomes an issue for the van der Linde gang, and after the Callanders die, he just...leaves...

It's not that they don't talk about all that stuff, it's just that for Mac and Davey (who have been alone most of their life, always fighting for survival) life is just dog vs dog. It doesn't matter who you're killing, it's not personal, it's just to survive...and Ruben only hears the 'it doesn't matter who you're killing' part LOL

wahh wahh I'm not proofreading sorry I've been trying to write this since like 10am (it's now 1.30pm) but I kept getting distracted waa waa

[awesamforehead]

Tag at least six people (can be more than six if you want), and say at least one nice thing about or to each of them. Can be mutuals, can be people you follow, can be people you don’t know but just happen to exist in the same circle(s) with. All you gotta do is tag them and say something nice about/to them :)

Thank you @mahikamihan (the nicest and sweetest person here) for the tag! Ignore that its been a few days shhhh I was actually thinking of doing this on my priv but then this showed up so perfect opportunity :D Its a big one so everyone will be under a read more so Im not clogging the dash

@gogtopia Jules, you were the first person I followed when I was revamping my blog last year, the first person that came to mind on who I knew was safe post October. Although this was long ago, I really enjoyed the discussions we had about lore and such on discord that was a fun time. And now you're on the path of getting my into The Yard more too lol

@i-anonymous-crow Crow crow crow crow. You were the first (literally the first) people to follow me and it was all because I was crying over the Las Nevadas gift for ckarlnapity. And since then we've cried some more together. And now we're here, thank you for giving me a chance

@foolishfreckles Moss my beloved. Actually one of the chillest people I know and a really great clipper. Another person who has been here since pretty much the beginning (like when I had 20 followers) and one of my biggest supporters. If you arent already following Moss what are you doing. I also love the Foolish screenies you try to get every stream

@traidyy LUCKY!!!!!!! :D SWEETEST PERSON AND GREAT ARTIST THEIR ART IS SO CUTE. also a karl fan so thats 1000 more attractive points. But actually one of my favorite people here, wuv u Lucky <3 the dog to my cat

@sapybara INY!! Somehow you are the most rational but also the most chaos inducing person here and I love you for that. Whenever dash is all fucky and im beginning to spiral, your post are usually the ones who help pull me back up. Also your sapybara pfp is the cutest thing ever.

@vadergf REY REY! The would be drolo of my heart and the realest person when it comes to the green man. Your anons are hilarious and your art is so cute, no matter what you might say. Also thank you for supporting me like with the dteam hourly account i really appreciate it

@simplepotatofarmer Loyal! :D this is a thank you for always wanting and trying to make the fandom a better place. So many people give you the worst shit and yet you try to give second chances and show kindness. Thats something very rare to find nowadays. I love your aus like the rabbit and black dog au, and your chicken posts are some of my favorite things (all hail dream (chicken) )

@toxicsapolo Hi Salty! The og sapolo, the one who paved the way. Even though I have no idea what you and Adora are talking about with the F1 fandom, Ive admired how passionate you are when it comes to your interests. Sapnap, fashion, cooking, your boyfriend.

@tinynap JO!!! Your liveblogs never fail to make me laugh, even if half of them give you a tummy ache. I also want to say im proud of you trying your best at college, even at your roughest nights. You're gonna do great, kid

@dralbum NIICCCKKK!!! Ok not only is your art gorgeous and gives the softest feeling, you are also one of the funniest motherfuckers here. I enjoy our time on privtwt where we ask to eat each others food lmao

@faehrys ARIA MY ARIA!!! Not only an awesome editor, but also an awesome person. I appreciated how you tried to keep a positive space during the rough time, but also knowing when to stand your ground. And as always, karl enjoyer so extra cool points :>

@negativepeanuthoarder PEANUT!!! A true squirrel in which they stick around and make a home in your heart. You are always the loudest supporter in my writing and I really appreciate that, especially on the harder days

@knffuckraw ACE!!! Another funny person here and also representing the inner haikyuu fans (along with Iny). You have the greatest comebacks for anons and the funniest tags. love you ace <3

@dreamnotnapss First, a thank you for your services they’re greatly appreciated and you be missed by many. Second, a thank you for supporting everyone you could within our circle and even beyond. We’ll remember you fondly

@selvish HI TENDER!! we interact much more on twitter lol but youre one of my favorite people, big karl enjoyer and created some of my favorite fics like Y&OY, Rules, Favorite Place, and when we’re older 💜

@secretkoalasandwich EMMI MY BELOVED. ok tbh when we first started following each other I was so nervous cause you had a Wil pfp but now youre one of my favorite people lol. My brethren of punzblr, always ready to simp with me. Also an amazing artist with the most amazing blending skills youve ever seen youre telling me this is a painting??? anyways 10/10 spectacular amazing wow

@canonicallykayfabe EACHTRA!! Some of the most beautiful art here, both in a more cartoony style and one that holds slight realism. The color choices are fantastic as well. Along with that, you have some really thought provoking posts that I really appreciate like the banter discussion post awhile ago.

@sapnapstummy BLAZE THE KINDEST PERSON HERE 100%. legit i dont think ive ever seen you post a neg post about anything thats impressive. also i want to say i love how youll go back to either dreamtummy or sapnaptummy, so iconic and so true.

@dnapsnfsapnap PIGEON!! We’re semi newish mutuals but I’ll always welcome new sapnap fans into my life. On par with Salty, Jo, and Blaze, you fit right in with the sapolo ideology and i think thats amazing. You can always get the cutest screenies of Sapnap and I love your frog posts as well ^-^

@snfbabydrop Ive said this multiple times but thank you for your work on dreamnotnapss. The safe haven for multishippers in our corner. Aside from that, you are one of the nicest people Ive met here, never let your sunshine get blocked out

Also shoutout to my awesome mutuals who I dont talk to often but still love 💜

[aurelim]

Louis/Eloise

The Royal

❝I have to. It's my duty to serve the people of Oceanic.❞ ❝Listen to me. Ignore what everyone else will say. You are perfect the way you are. You are my everything, love.❞

Age: A month younger than MC

Race: Human

Gender: Male or female, depending on player choice

Pronouns: He/him or she/her, depending on player choice

Physical appearance: The Royal has slightly tanned skin due to intensive time spent in the sun, although their parents try their best to maintain the natural fair-pale shade. They have a heart shaped face framed by wavy red hair, either tamed or tied up in a bun with two small strands on the side. Soft brown eyes that can go cold at a poor choice of words and freckles dotting their cheeks. 5'7" no matter the gender.

Trope(s): Forbidden love, impossible love, royalty, [REDACTED]

As the heir to the throne of Oceanic, the Royal has a heavy weight on their shoulders that they cannot shake off—the expectations of the people and their parents often reminds them of their duty to deliver responsible decision for the betterment of the kingdom. For most of the week, they are cooped up within the castle walls, fulfilling their tasks as the one next in line. However, during a small portion of the day where their schedule is empty, the Royal will always go to visit their private shore by themself. A tradition they have upheld since they were young.

In public appearances, the Royal comes off as an understanding, charming, mature young adult—exactly what everyone expects from the heir. All warm smiles and dimples. But behind closed doors, the fake smiles drop and shoulders slacken. The fire in their eyes never goes out but they allow themself to be exhausted. Just once.

Their idea of relaxing is by standing in front of the waves, shoes off, and enjoying the smell of salty air and water. A servant usually has to come and fetch them, as they do not keep track of the time. And recently, they have been going more often due to undisclosed reasons... as well as sneaking off to town to do gods-know-what.

There have been rumors circulating around them, particularly involving [REDACTED]. Are they true? Are they not? You will have to wait until it is announced.

Chance encounters are life-changing. You don't think you would have ever noticed the Royal had it not been for Cordelia and K. And more importantly, you do not think you would have ever met them on the streets without your...unique circumstances. Little had you realized then the potential to gain a powerful ally, as well as a lifelong friend.

Fun Facts About the Royal:

There is so much lore I want to write down about them, but they would all be major spoilers for the game! So for now, take this condensed, somewhat short intro post for now. But expect to see some huge updates to this as further chapters are released!

Also would you call them "Lou"? Been thinking about an easier nickname besides "The Royal" and it's pretty cute! Though they are accustomed to everyone calling them by their first name

Their original design was going to be heavily inspired by Prince Eric from the Little Mermaid. However, it was changed to an appearance similar to Ariel. Maybe your headcanon is that he's Ariel's son or grandson? That's what mine is lol

Has a very refined taste for red wine. Likes it especially from their own kingdom but imported tastes are good too

Loves drawing. And because they live right by the sea they have a lot of sunset sketches and swirls of water in their notebook

Has a diary where they write down about their day; if you romance them you'll probably find long romantic tirades about you

Actually likes wearing crowns if it is light and only in the castle

Sheltered kid growing up—while their parents may have exposed them to monarchy politics early in their life they remained relatively naive and unaware of certain...things

Things that will remain unmentionable

Knows some secret passageways within the kingdom due to safety reasons, but they may show it to you if you are lucky enough!

Stuffed animals creep them out and they are all over the walls of the castle thanks to their father's love for hunting

No, not stuffed animals. Like actual taxidermy

Deathly allergic to gossipy people and mice—physically wilts at the mention of either one

Would buy you anything you want just to please you. This will especially show during the crushing stage, but it will be a habit that never dies down *if* you get married

Can resist puppy eyes with a huge question mark. But usually not because they are a major people pleaser. It comes with their job

[bioerin]

I posted 4,589 times in 2022

60 posts created (1%)

4,529 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@empiria-caterima

@chiqita

@oddishblossom

@str-ngeloop

@inthetags

I tagged 2,004 of my posts in 2022

#yeah - 57 posts

#eurovision - 26 posts

#yes - 20 posts

#cool - 19 posts

#supernatural - 19 posts

#self reblog - 18 posts

#me - 12 posts

#tag game - 12 posts

#ask game - 11 posts

#the phantom of the opera - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i once told a customer a magnet was 90€ and they just looked at me for a while and i did not get it until they asked 'that expensive' until

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Tagged by @frost0wl to tag 9 books I plan to read this year.

I have to admit I don't plan to read them all this year 😬 just plan to read them... sometime...

See the full post

9 notes - Posted January 19, 2022

#4

Trick or treat 👻

Look at Nietzsche asking for pets

(Send me "trick or treat" 👻)

10 notes - Posted October 31, 2022

#3

Tagged by @oddishblossom thank you!! loved your songs!

4 Songs I’ve Had On Repeat Lately:

Pas de Deux by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky

REPRISE by The Lumineers

Migraine by Twenty One Pilots

Es atnācu uguntiņu - Latvian folk song (the song and dance festival version has been playing in my head a lot)

Tagging: @lalalalan @psychicbanana24 @drearywhispers @coldjellyfishsoul @bumblebee-bea and anyone else who wants to

12 notes - Posted February 22, 2022

#2

hey hyehyeyehye!!!!! i'll be going to finland in 3 days i'm super mega exited i'll be visiting mostly the south and the lake area and whie i'll be sure to enjoy the view i wanted to know if you have food recomandation? you are my closest mutual to there so you must have heard of some traditional dishes, i already have my eyes on karjalanpiirakka c:

hiiiiiiii

omg that's so nice!!!! good luck in finland!!!!!!! have been there only once when i was kid and i don't remember much, but only good vibes

the best thing i've eaten that is originally from finland: juustoleipä. i might be saying this just because i'm a cheese enthusiast, but it's a squeaky cheese that honestly does not have a lot of spice, but it's nice in texture and overall feeling.

also idk how familiar you are with rye bread but i also recommend that! i honestly have no idea if it reaches south europe and if you already eat it regularly

you could also try the scandinavian salty liquorice but i personally think that food was invented by the devil and only demons can enjoy eating it lol

as for karjalanpiirakka i have no idea, never tried any! hope it tastes good!

anyway, enjoy your time in finland and i hope you will be able to escape the death heat of summer i imagine italy being!!! (although it will still be hot probably idk)

20 notes - Posted August 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Tag People You Wanna Get to Know Better

Tagged by @oddishblossom thank you!! Really liked yours!!!

Relationship Status: single

Song Stuck in My Head: Mamma Mia by ABBA it's because I read a post recently about the movie mamma mia and the song just... emerged

Last Thing You Googled: the try guys (bc i saw a post how they've... fell apart. they did.)

Time: 20:55 at the moment

Dream Trip: I would like to go everywhere starting with Alaska. I just feel like no one would be there and I could just be.

Last Thing You Read: your love is sunlight by doodlebutt. a wangxian au fix-it fic which was just so nice to read

Last Book You Enjoyed Reading: Golden Stage. Huh I really have not read any books since 2020 yikes. Anyway Golden Stage my wonderful enemies to lovers book loved it with my whole heart.

Last Book You Hated Reading: The Girl With Nine Wigs. Got that book as a gift ages ago, and it is probably very bad of me to say I didn't enjoy reading about a girl with cancer based on true events. But I won't lie, I did not like reading it all. The main character tried to be relatable with the reader but I never connected with her, so I guess that was the problem.

Favorite Craft to Do in Your Free Time: does assembling ikea furniture count? I've recently moved and everything in my room is from ikea now. And I even got a little toolbox kit from ikea!! Look at me go! I just have to learn how to make holes in the wall and then I'll be unstoppable.

If that doesn't count I would say creating little trinkets now and then? I don't really have time to do anything, but I like to do stuff like gluing glitter to an old key and putting it up on a wall, or tying something to a string and creating a cat toy, things like that.

Most Niche Dislike: I don't like cut flowers. Of course, if I ever get any, I'm polite and thank people, but overall I just don't like taking a cut flower and putting it in a vase to die.

Opinion on Circuses: The only time I went to circus was the only time I saw my biological father in person. I was eight and it was very, very weird and thus circuses has always been tied to that event in my life and I feel very weird about them. This event is most probably tied with me not liking cut flowers, because before that I had no opinion about them, but then my father came to see me and gave me flowers and I was very, very uncomfortable.

Do You Have Any Sense of Direction: Not really, I am really bad at it. However, after taking a few wrong turns I would find my way anyway. But I know people who are worse than me and cannot even follow google maps, so I'm not that horribly bad.

Woosh this was an interesting tag game that took me places I did not expect to go!

Tagging (no pressure): @empiria-caterima @coldjellyfishsoul @frost0wl @ante--meridiem

21 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ayamturd]

yourself│awesamdude

summary: love is precious, love is pure; how insecure thoughts and concerns trouble a scared lover, and how to convince one they are deserving of said love

warnings: descriptive insecure + self-deprecating thoughts, slight angst to fluff

pairing: in-game c!awesamdude

a/n: couldn’t stop thinking of this concept, i wouldn’t physically sleep till i wrote it all out lol

pls know you are loved, that you matter and are important. even if it doesn’t feel like, i’ll say now that i do, i love you. i don’t need to know you to know you deserve love, you deserve to know you are amazing for being yourself and for simply trying your best by existing for what it is <3

wc: (2.1k) - m.list

“Why do you love me?”

It was late. Very late. 

The sky was pitch black and the forest held nothing but a ringing silence to screen, the brief sounds of woodland creatures along with lurking monsters occasionally breaking through. While the night was alive by the stir of the wind, the world above was obscured beneath the depths of the newly discovered mineshaft.

You were tired, your body aching and sore from the continuous grind along side your lover for the past few hours now. Unbeknownst to you, the early morn had been replaced with the midnight sky, the twists of the cave’s darkness becoming so lost to your sensitive eyes. 

While you were resting on a large boulder, Sam’s stamina was relentless as he worked to mine into the next cave tunnel. He was beautiful, to say the least. 

The ever so flicker of nearby torches illuminated only the best of his features, his usual mask hanging low around his neck due to the cramped and tight spaces underground. His brows were furrowed, the gentle concentration that pulled onto his face strangely handsome to observe. 

His hair, the dark yet notable green shade, was seemingly drenched with sweat. In spite of how dreadful the thought could come across, it only did him wonders when weighing his locks down to frame his face. It curled around his eyes, the sage emerald-color contrasting his light skin tone while emphasizing the dark glisten of his squinted eyes. 

Through his intent and determined grunts with every swing of his blade against the course stone, his stance was firm and strong, each strike crumbling beneath him from pure strength and integrity. 

Moments like these were random, but reoccurring. Moments where you could stop to stare at him for hours on end, appreciate him for what he was and all that he did, yet question on why he was still here.

Why someone so talented and earnest in his work could even consider you as someone special, someone worth his attention and love to be with. 

You spoke before you could stop to process your words and what possible answer he could imagine. Your curiosity got the better of you, and your insecurity blinded your perception. It didn’t seem like he heard you initially, and as you began to take it as a sign to forget the question entirely, his diligent swings stopped and his heavy panting filled the air. 

He carelessly rested the large tool on top of his shoulders, twisting only his head in your direction while wiping the salty sting of raining sweat from his eyes. 

“Huh?”

“Why do you love me?” you asked again. 

Pushing yourself up, you glanced down while fiddling with your pickaxe, the old wrap around its handle fraying ever so lightly despite its lack of consistent use. You’d need to replace it soon. 

“I just- it’s hard sometimes, you know? To think why you’ve stayed with me for so long or why you even want to stay with me altogether.”

You suddenly lost all courage, and couldn’t dare look him straight in the eye from your admittance. There was an unfounded trust your relationship, no doubt, but trust can only go far when comparing yourself to others. This was a question of worth, of importance when believing one has nothing special to give to someone who deserves the world. 

“Love…”

Shaking your head, you turned away from him to face the arching gem wall, driving your pickaxe into the thick, shimmering stone with a slam before wrapping your arms around yourself. You bit the inner side of your check, loose and anxious thoughts raging wild to come through in the vulnerable space.

Your hands shook in unpredictable expectations, fingers twitching against your pounding chest.

“I know you’re going to dismiss it as some kind of nonsense, ‘insecurity’ thing and honestly, you wouldn’t be wrong. But I can’t help it when you’re you and I’m me.”

The pause that followed was unbearable. Steady breathes pervaded the tense air, and after what felt to be an entirety in harsh, prolonged silence, you heard the shuffles of his feet when cautiously approaching you from behind.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His tone was serious, yet his voice soft. Like he was cornering a scared and injured animal, he seemed mindful of his volume for your own concern. Another quality to consider: he was too kind than for what you rightfully earned.

There was so much to say, yet so little at the same time. You were at a loss for words on how to explain something so broad and conceptually troubling to see through. How does one explain how little they matter? How meaningless they are in the grand scheme of things to someone that only tries to see the best of them.

Someone that would refuse a truth for the sake of your troubled mentality.

“Well- you know…”

He stood directly behind you now, his radiating warmth encompassing your entire being, leaving you to shudder from the sharp contrast in the freezing underground. Hands hovering your rigid shoulders, he contemplated touching you but decided against it. He dropped his arms to his side with a sigh. 

“No, I don’t. What possible reasoning could you have for me not to love you?”

His pleading whisper was left unanswered, your body frozen to the guilt that consumed you from worrying him over your own problematic assumptions. As if he could read you, he began a different approach to break through to you. 

“Why do you love me?”

His unexpected question immediately caused you to go in defense. Spinning around, you glared up at him with resistant eyes, the response to trade your unsure gaze with ones that screamed in flipped concern for his own good. 

“Don’t do that.”

Sam’s own eyes remained just as hard, the unnatural line from his neutral expression pulling further to create an evident frown. He was just as serious as you.

“I’m serious here. What reasoning do you have to love me? A screw up, that does nothing but hurt others no matter how much I try in opposition to protect.”

Admittedly shaking your head, you unconsciously reached to grab the front of his chest plate, the enchanted armor glowing beneath your bare hands as you forcefully pushed him in disagreement. 

You knew what he was referencing to, and how hard the events became for him. No matter if Tommy would never forgive him, he had yet to forgive himself in any reasonable sense. 

“You know that’s not true. Mistakes are mistakes that can’t always be avoided or your fault.”

Tilting his head, Sam’s nose scrunched aggressively to your argument with a scowl.

“Can’t it?” 

While your face dropped from his jarring snap, he only sighed before bowing his head away, rubbing the back of his head with a tired exhale and dropped shoulders. It was his turn to struggle with his own words as you stared intensely for his explanation. 

His voice were soft again, and wavered slightly in the near beginning. 

“I’m not perfect, far from it actually. No matter how many times you try and reassure me of the fact, I’ll never truly believe anything there is good to say about me. I only see the worst of myself,” he murmured. Although a majority of his speech could have easily been missed from his airy quiet, your ears were strained and focused solely on him. 

As you tried to step closer to comfort him in some way or another, he finished his final thought then, causing you to freeze once more. 

“And when that negatively becomes too much, I look to you as my light.”

Sam sheepishly faced you, his bashful grin completely deviating from the conversation at hand.  An unexpected heat rushed to your face, causing you fall apart by the mere power behind his words. 

He gave an airy chuckle, closing his eyes with a gentle smile and opening to reveal such fragility in all he had to tell, eyes watering from the sight of you. 

“You give me more hope than I think I could ever deserve. From your shining smile to the smallest forms of affection, you give me a love irreplaceable by others and unconceivable to consider.” 

Biting your lip, your eyes also began to tear from the overly tender conceptions. He knew better than to let your thoughts run wild and interrupt him, so he continued before you could open your mouth in protest.

“I love you, for everything you’ve sacrificed and lost. You are my strength that pulls me through, inspires me to continue even on the hardest of days. You teach me to forgive myself and work through my hardships for a greater objective at play.” 

Steadily nearing your emotional state, Sam carefully pulled your hands into his own and caressed your knuckles with his callous thumbs. He squeezed them tightly once, before reaching a singular hand against your cheek, catching the fallen tears that escaped your adoring eyes.

“Even if you unintentionally did, you became that objective to pull me through it all.”

A sob escaped you, and Sam was quick to pull you into his chest. He kissed the top of your head earnestly while resuming to whisper his declaration against your hair.  

“I love you and all that you do. Everything that I said now, everything that I know how to express, it does nothing to how much you truly impact by merely existing as yourself.”

“Sam-” you had tried to interject, stop him from tearing you to complete bits as an over sentimental puddle, but he chose to speak over you instead. 

“I don’t love you simply because you’ve given so much to me, that you’ve went through notions with my sake as priority. I don’t care for any of that in all honesty. I love you, because you do all that you do as yourself.”

Shudder breathes caused you to shake beneath his firm hold, his only response to pull you inhumanely closer if possible. 

“It doesn’t matter why or what pushes you to do what you do, it’s the fact that you exist as yourself, that that beautiful heart of yours goes beyond any and all expectations anyone can conceive of you and never fails to the most of any situation to come.”

“You amaze me, y/n,” he hummed. Pulling you back, he raised a single finger below your chin to lift your face to his. He leaned a near breathes away, with an indescribable admiration that caused more tears to spill. 

“Why do I love you?” he re-asked.

His own tears coursed down his dirt stained skin, and you habitually moved to cup both of his cheeks. 

“Because you’re able to love me, and not even know the adverse effects you cause to those around you.”

Bringing your forehead to his, he kissed your scrunched nose as he released a small whimper, for he had nothing left to express through words. 

“If ever you question yourself again, ask yourself how are you able to love someone like me, and know that that same confounding thought shakes my very core and beats my love-stricken heart for you.”

Bonus:

Pathetic giggles bounced around the gem filled enclosure, the high of work finally wearing you both down into a helpless mess of two exhausted, yet stubborn lovers. 

You leaned heavily into Sam’s hold, his own stance faltering from the unexpected weight you gave in as he groaned from the fast movement. 

“I don’t know about you, but I’m about ready for some rest, wouldn’t you say?” 

Giving out incomprehensible whines smothered into the crook of his arm, you raised a lazy hand to give a subtle thumbs up. Sam laughed loudly, and took your silent gesture as an answer. 

“You ready to climb back to the surface then?”

Mellow wails spoke for themselves, and he shook his head in joking disbelief to how drained you easily became. 

With you still in his arms, he maneuvered around you to grab both of your pickaxes and gathered resources, them too heavy to physically carry for his next course of action. He pulled out his Enderchest and swiftly packed everything away. 

Once everything else was settled, he worked on the actual situation in hand; literally, it being you basically asleep on your feet against his balanced arms. 

“Here,” he spoke. Lifting from your waist, he placed you on top of an overgrown gem stone and steadied your footing before quickly turning. He gripped your thighs, and even in your tired state, you instinctively jumped onto his back. 

He sighed when adjusting you, before making the trek back up the stair incline.

“To think I choose to love you.” 

You yawned loudly, and to his surprise, comprehended his words enough to respond.

“Mmmm, that sounds like a ‘you’ problem.” Head propped between his neck, he glanced down at you with a smirk. 

“Maybe, but a problem I welcome nonetheless.”

[rahleeyah]

So I have SO MUCH second hand embarrassment and anxiety over people commenting to the new show runner. Like walrus was one thing bc he was so ugh, but cmon people! 🫠

Like for one, it’s crazy what people say to him on his Instagram. People have no shame. Leave the man alone, especially when the comments are negative in nature.

Secondly, I wish the comments would just stop, mostly the negative ones as mentioned, bc just like m, he will pull away from the fandom OR start responding in a negative way. Also, could the fandom cause some negative consequences? 🤷🏻‍♀️

People are also veryyyy flip floppy. (I.e. the news about kelli today) Unless you are a diehard rollisi, there is no room to complain. No one should be taking this out on the new show runner when he doesn’t make those decisions? Esp when everyone was all over him until recently and praising him.

We all wanted eo, and if rumors are true and this is the way to get that, im personally ok with it? The way I’m looking at it is there have been SO MANY arrivals and departures over the years of cast members and characters and this would just be the latest one. Although Amanda has been there for 12 years, that is usually the exception and not the rule.

Wasn’t it canon that the average to be in svu was like 2-4 years bc of the nature of the job? It makes sense for her to want to see her girls grow up and have a more steady work/life balance and get out of svu (major speculation on my part here). Bring in some new blood, characters, diversity, story lines, etc.

Although disclaimer: I am indifferent to the Amanda Rollins character. I do not love her nor dislike her. I would for sure feel different if it was someone I had more of an attachment to, admittedly 😂

I know you stay out of the drama, but I just needed to vent. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk lol.

Congrats to you anon for being the one to break the kelli news to me, literally got this message and had to be like "hang on babe lemme check twitter real quick" so thank you for that. lemme try to hit this in order.

yeah first up i'm not gonna tell anyone else what to do but engaging with the showrunner directly is never gonna be something i wanna do. i firmly believe that fandom and creators are happiest when we stay in our respective corners but. again. that's just me and what i prefer and what i would do. i don't check david's insta so i don't see what people post there, except for what gets reposted other places.

i wouldn't worry about the fandom causing negative consequences. like. these people have a job to do. they get some negative comments, they get lots of positive ones, they go to work, they do their job. fandom sometimes overestimates its own impact; no amount of comments on insta is gonna change the plan for tptb. if that was the case they'd have thrown out eo bc of the people on fb. for good or bad, they're gonna do what they're gonna do.

i agree no one should take this out on mr david as it obviously wasn't his call, and the responses of his that i have seen have been graceful. i understand that people are upset - were we not all devastated when chris left the show? - but like, that upset needs to be directed at the people who are responsible.

i don't see any connection between kelli leaving and eo. i have a hard time imagining they were sitting around going "we can't do eo unless we get rid of a cast member." that just doesn't make sense. yes losing a long time cast member frees up some $$ but they are bringing in new people and i promise they are gonna find ways to spend what's left of that money that aren't solely eo. the math isn't mathing. and the only people i've seen make that particular connection aren't making the most reasoned arguments in general.

they try to say early on that most people only last two years in svu which is laughable now considering how long most of the cast has been there. i do think they need some fresh blood - still salty about losing kat, tbh - if only bc these characters have been there for so long and new perspectives are necessary from time to time. 1.0 didn't shake up the cast too much after s2 but they had new adas all the time and that kind of helped keep things fresh,

i'm not sure what i want rollins's reasons for leaving to be. i don't really see her wanting to leave svu, tbh, i think it would have made more sense for carisi to go work with a different branch and amanda stay on in svu to avoid the conflict of interest but obvi that's not what they're doing. i'm wondering how much of carisi we're going to continue to see after kelli's exit and if they will use carisi to keep amanda alive and fresh for us even when she's not there.

idk anon it's a lot

[versadies]

I hope I request this right lol, but can I request blood is thicker- with Childe, but more of a platonic character then a sibling? Maybe the reader is in training to become a harbinger and is having a hard time. Their about to lose their chance to continue their training, so Childe swoops in with his brotherly instincts to try and help them get better at fighting and stuff? I hope I requested that right! 😅

penpal: eyo that’s some good request 😳 and yes you did the request right dw— hope you like this!

warning/s: spoilers on archon quest ar35

note: just a heads up that i don’t know how the fatui works when becoming a harbinger so whatever info i wrote in this hc isn’t canon on what the fatui does!

-> it has been a month ever since childe went away to liyue, and he had just came back home (rather salty from the incident that happened with la signora and zhongli). childe would be lying if he said he doesn’t see you reaching your goal in becoming a harbinger. he really thought you were almost to your goal while he was away but much to his surprise, you didn’t.

-> to be quite frank, he does believe that you’ll become a harbinger because of your determination and abilities— along with your intense dedication in serving the tsaritsa.

-> although he lowkey wants to see your true potential by fighting you, you refused. whenever childe persistently tries to fight you, you usually respond with “maybe when i became a harbinger, then i’ll consider the offer.”

-> back to present, he finds out that your missions and training started to become way harsher due to unknown reasons (perhaps it’s due to a senior in charge of your training and missions who’s jealous of the relationship you and childe have even though it’s just platonic)

-> he also noticed how your fighting is more... sloppy along with how you always looked so tired.

-> when he confronted you about it, that’s when you started to have a breakdown about how you’re this close to give up on your goal and how you’re unsure if you can keep up with the amount of missions and tasks your senior gives.

-> it was the first time you cried or express yourself to the fellow harbinger, he noticed. it lowkey breaks his heart to see his friend crying— especially if the friend of his is like family now.

-> after your breakdown, childe’s brotherly instincts came in. “let me help you,” he’d say with a determined look on his face. “i’ll train you and give you tips on becoming a harbinger.”

-> childe’s sudden volunteer in helping you surprised you a lot (despite him always asking for a fight but you thought it was a joke) — and you obviously tried to tell him that he didn’t have to. however, with childe’s persistence and isn’t planning on backing down from helping you, who are you to say no?

-> you did not regret saying yes. childe is a great teacher much to your surprise.

-> the harbinger would teach you a lot of things— his best was when it comes to fighting close combat. if you have the same vision as childe, he’d also teach you a thing or two on using your vision to advantage.

-> he tries not to go overboard with his fighting unless you wished for it.

-> as for your senior, let’s just say your senior starts to become nice the day after your breakdown. it was honestly scary seeing her not giving you so much missions and tasks and as if everything went back to normal. you had your suspicions that childe has something to do with it but you never questioned it.

-> when months had pass by, you started to be better and improved a lot! when the tsaritsa suddenly asked for your presence and discussed you with becoming a harbinger, you were ecstatic. childe was immediately surprised when you walk up to him later that day and gave him a bone-crushing hug.

-> ngl he’d honestly go “🥺” when you did hug him, the warmth you share reminds him of the warm welcome his family would give whenever he arrives home from abroad.

-> when the day comes that you’re now an official harbinger, childe will look forward to fight you properly.

[mojjisxng]

The Only Mistake

sunghoon x gn reader

requested

genre- angst, fluff

word count- 1.1k+

warnings- like one curse word lol

a/n- i finally got this done, because i actually had some time. i hope you enjoy <3333

sunghoon was leaving for i-land, and he just wanted you to be the best you can be, with out him holding you back, so he let you go. would this decision destroy everything that you had together, forever?

“i’m breaking up with you,” sunghoon deadpanned.

“e-excuse me? w-what? WHY?” you stuttered, as you started to feel the world close in around you.

“i’m breaking up with you! because i just don’t want to be with you anymore, sorry!” he replied flippantly, beginning to turn away. you tried to yell his name, doing anything to grab his attention so that he would turn back around- but he didn’t. sunghoon left you there, under your favourite cherry blossom tree in the park, where he had once confessed to you. reality hit and you began to sob uncontrollably because the boy you loved so much ripped out your heart with zero explanation; you felt broken.

in reality, sunghoon never wanted to break up with you, but he felt it was the only thing he could do. you see, he was about to go to i-land, to have a chance at debuting in a boy group. he thought you would get sick of waiting for him, so he rationalised that he should let you go and you could move on, even if it broke his heart. sunghoon just wanted you to be happy, and he believed that you wouldn’t be happy waiting months for him and then barely seeing each other after that.

you deserved better than him.

so he fought the urge to run back to you, tears streaming down his face, yet he had a slight hope that you would be following behind him. as he slowly craned his neck to look behind him, sunghoon saw that you had already started trudging away. he felt like orpheus probably did in all of those myths he read in school, loosing the one he loves due to his own stupid mistake.

it was now three months later, and there wasn’t a second that went by when sunghoon didn’t miss you. he just wished he could escape and tell you the truth, and scream from the rooftop how much he cares about you. although he loved you with every cell in his body, he was also terrified that you had actually moved on, he wouldn’t have blamed you if you did. but he knew that he had to see you at the end of this laborious show, as the guilt and pain built up and up. sluggishly, the days ticked over towards the final, and sunghoon despised every minute of it.

meanwhile, you were sat in your dark room, watching the final episode of i-land. yes, you had been pulled into the cyclone that is i-land, even though your boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend was competing there. you had tried to move on, but your aching heart would not allow it, so you continued to pine for the one person who seemingly never wanted to see your face again. anger built up inside of you every time he appeared on screen, looking so care free yet focused on the performance he was practising for. how could he look like that even though he broke your heart? however, you still rooted for him, almost crying when you thought he wouldn’t get chosen to debut. when sunghoon was eventually announced as rank six, you jumped up onto your bed, like a little kid that’s excited for christmas, chanting “go sunghoon! go sunghoon! g-go go sunghoon!” you realised what you were doing and sank back down into your sheets, embarrassed by how much you still loved him no matter how much you tried to hate him. after you had calmed down, you drifted to sleep happily, knowing that now sunghoon was free, you could give a piece of your mind soon, a very big piece of your mind…

it seems that sunghoon got there first, because one saturday morning when your were lounging about watching tv, a knock at the front door, snatched you out of your blissful reverie. “who the fuck is this now?” you scoff to yourself, as you lazily shuffle towards the freshly painted door. the shock is evident in your face, as you come face to face with a very sheepish sunghoon, who was twiddling his fingers like he always does whenever he’s anxious. you never thought he’d be the first one to initiate the long awaited conversation. you didn’t even let him begin talking, as you stepped aside and aggressively ushered the boy into your house. as the two of you sat down onto the comfy sofa, sunghoon blurted out a flurry of explanations and apologies.

“please please believe me, i never wanted to break up with you. i only wanted you to be happy, and i didn’t think you would be, waiting for me to get out of i-land. i assumed that you would begin to get bored and resent me for leaving to i-land. i still love you so so much, more than words can describe! i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m really sorry!”

“why would i have got bored of you sunghoon? is that what you think of me, that i’d just find someone else as soon as you left?” you raged.

“no no, i’m just insecure i guess, and i thought you deserved better than me, even if it broke my heart.”

“well you’ve clearly broken both of our hearts haven’t you? even though you hurt me so badly and i literally spent weeks crying over you, i still supported you on the show. it’s humiliating to say, but i voted for you every day. it’s pathetic how much i love you,” you let out a bitter laugh, even when salty tears started streaming down your rosy cheeks, “all i want is for it to go back to the way it was. fuck you park sunghoon, you selfish bastard.”

“please forgive me,” he sobbed, as he clutched onto you, “you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and i’m not willing to let you go again. i’ve achieved my dreams as an idol, but i’ve lost one of the people that means the most to me. i love you y/n, i really do!”

you felt your resolve cracking down the middle, so in a sudden, you tackled him in a huge hug, smashing your lips to his. the pair of you spent a while like that, releasing all of the tension the both of you had held in your bones for so long now. you spent the day attached to each other, mostly napping on the couch, exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster you had been on for months. you loved each other so much, which was all that mattered to you now. and sunghoon promised that he would tell you about his true feelings, rather than bottling them up and it ending in disaster once more. as you traced sunghoon’s sharp features, you sweetly remarked: “you were absolutely flawless on i-land hoon, you know that right?”

“of course i know...because the only mistake i have ever made was giving you up.”

[silver-wield]

Omg, finding Cloud and Tifa are labelled doki doki must been wild when it first happened lol I feel bad for messing it but not really, thank for your answer! And thanks for your efforts! Honestly If someone think their ship has to be canon for them to enjoy it it’s sad, nothing wrong on moral stander from enjoying a non canon couple if thats someones jam, so them announcing war and believing Cloti has to be not canon (it is canon) for AC to be valid is setting the bar for how premature they are, totally never adulated.

We had a good laugh about it just from knowing how triggered the dumdums would be. They tried to deny it, then claim it for themselves and when that didn't work they decided we did it because we're salty and it doesn't even count compared to the ulti, even though both "doki doki" wouldn't even be known about because one is asset file names and the other is a notation on a scene where Cloud is visibly stoic af and the player has no clue how he feels. But ofc they decided theirs is "true" and ours is fake cause they're insane.

It's dumb they act like ffvii is like persona, which has no canon couple, and yet people in that fandom also argue about canon. I ship Joker with Queen but I wouldn't go around saying it's canon because there isn't one. I enjoy the scenes they have together and don't care about the other couple scenes. It's the same with Code Geass, although I'm slightly more on the side of CC being Lelouch's canon waifu since she's the only one who knows and loves all sides of him and he knows everything about her and loves her too. That's not to say the other girls don't get their chance at him, and the series isn't even close to the romance genre, but I'm not insane and still wouldn't go into the fandom screaming I'm right and everyone else is wrong when it's not set up that way.

Ffvii is set up to have a monogamous relationship between Cloud and Tifa. They have history and relationship development that goes from a point before we even engage with them and carries on after we have any interaction with them.

They're still together in Case of Denzel, which is the furthest point of the compilation. Did the player have any say in any of that? No, we didn't. The devs have shown they're together as a family. Cloud is the father, Tifa's the mother, Marlene and Denzel are their kids.

People need to get it through their empty heads that what Cloud does with his life is not up to the player. If they can't handle that they should go find a fandom for something where their weird ass control issues work in their favour.

[bakubitch-minusultra]

Not Alone: Chapter One

-> an apocalyptic series with bnha characters but without quirks because im the writer and i can do whatever the fuck i want :3 anywho i hope you enjoy :)) The main love interest will be reader and bakugo i think edit: it is not going to be just bakugo it will be a love triangle k byebye for the second time oh also this is fem reader k bye lol

-> Word Count: 1.9k (I lowkey popped off)

-> Warnings: None rly just mentions of guns and blood

-> Tag list: @5sosfckss @laudthingcat

Chapter One

People would tell you that the world was made for two, but as Y/n sat in the silence of the old cellar two felt like a long lost dream. It was like wind rolling around you gently, trying to persuade you to move in all directions. It’s an ice cream cone on a boardwalk with the sun above and the salty ocean below. It’s a perfect place no one tries to remember.

Any mind left functioning in the world has evolved to be built for pain. Maybe once upon a time there had been a time and place where love and compassion was something for people to look forward to in life.

This wasn't that world anymore.

To Y/n, that type of world never existed anyways. The world had always been a selfish dark place where love is fleeting and the people are brutal. Once upon a time, true love accidentally affected those who were fortunate. But like every other beautiful thing, they polluted and corrupted it, and like everything else, it got sick.

Y/n’s seen it all. And in the end when it’s taken away the people who protested or cried the loudest, were the one who had taken it for granted the most.

Y/n looked around the cellar, in three days she barely moved. It’s her rule and because of it she can leave easier with the feeling of safety. She always ended a shopping trip with a quiet few nights in a cellar or basement.

Y/n wasn’t born to do this, she had to learn to move around quietly, how to sit still. She knew what she had to do to survive. She had lain amongst the dead, she had run through the dark woods, having to feel her eyesite clear like a wild animal and embrace the darkness.

She crept out into the beam of dust lingering in the stale air, sparkling from the sunlight that found its way down two stories into a dark cellar. The beam of light almost made her smile as she admired the light's determination. Y/n shook her head to bring her thoughts back to the harsh reality as she took her first step towards the stairs.

The explosions never seemed to destroy this home in any way. The stairs were in one piece, which had become a bit of a novelty to her. The old farmhouse was too far from any major centers or roads to have even known of the problems, at least in the beginning. The blood stain smears on the white siding outside proved that sickness has touched every single inch of this world.

The hard wood creaked under the weight of her first step. She held her breath and hoped that the creak went unheard. She slowly took another step up as she let out a shaky breath. On the third step she hesitated, listening for any sort of alarming sounds. Her heart was beating like it was trying to free itself from her constricted chest. She waited a second longer, it was another rule of hers. Never leave when you feel safe, always wait three more seconds.

She put her feet on the far sides of the stairs, where the rusty nails attached the boards to the frame. Shallow breaths make sounds in this new world, in the borderlands anyway. There was no electricity, no cars, no phones, no buzz. The world now sits quiet, as if it was sighing and taking a long inhale after what seemed like forever with mankind and the noise pollution. Y/n was at peace when she was at home, but here in the open world she was one of them. One of what was left of humanity. What scrambles to survive, most of the time seperate from everyone else.

Y/n looked through the cellar door and tried to keep her anxious heartbeat low and her breath quiet. She knew that her body needed to make some noises, but others she could control.

The house was simple. Farmhouses were always the best houses according to Y/n. They always sat a long way off the road, not that roads mattered anymore. They always have canning and pickling that would outlast any human. They always have safety supplies and extras of everything. Farmers lived the longest, just as Y/n’s father said they would.

Two trips a year was rarely enough, but Y/n knew that if she traveled any more than that she would be caught.

She walked through the small kitchen and was amazed at how pristine it still was. Everything was still in its place, just as it was the first time she came to the farmhouse, although now layers of dust had found their way into the home, along with the bits of weeds that grew in through the cracks. With no busy grandmother to buzz around cleaning and dusting the mess, everything shows the house’s years of abandonment. Vines grew up the sides of the house, like all houses. As always, she stood against the doorframe and put her hand at the top of her head as her measurement. She turned and looked at how much higher it is than the mark she foolishly put there last time she came.

She looked away from the mark and pushed away the memories of the happy little girl she used to be. She walked low to the ground toward the backdoor. She couldn’t help but laugh inside at how ridiculous it was that she still felt safer going through the backdoor, even though there was no front or back. There were only doors. They didn’t go anywhere anymore. There was no direction.

Nothing goes anywhere.

Y/n positioned the heavy pack on her back carefully. It contained jars full of heart and soul and survival. To Y/n each jar was like a gentle kiss from the old lady who canned and pickled from her own farm of fresh vegetables. She assumed there are no preservatives, no added colorings, no added salt. There weren’t any labels to contradict anything. For all she knew there was MSG in everything. Y/n found herself smiling at the letters MSG, they meant something to humanity once. That was before.

She fought back memories of nice old ladies and the world before. She had been to many worlds in her life, and being nineteen felt more life sixty most days. She took a deep breath and creaked the door open, as if the wind had opened it. She closed it and opened it again. It felt like the wind coming off the brown dirt field was playing with the door.

Her sharp eyes focused on the dirt yard. Nothing moved, everything was standing still. She knew that she should’ve been waiting for the night to travel, but she had stayed too long this time. She needed to get back. Things only lived so long alone, she knew this well. Her garden had died many times before.

The old barn door swung in the soft breeze, making it creak slightly as the long tan grass swayed and small pebbles scuttled along. Everything moved in sync with the wind. Y/n learned how to spot that.

Y/n pulled the door and cringed, she knew this was always the worst part of the walk home. She hated leaving this house.

She felt her eyes squint shot, as the intense light of the sun nearly blinded her. Her pack felt like tons of bricks on her back, but she took her first steps, desperate for the walk to be over with already. She tried not to jostle her bag too much because she didn’t want to break any jars. She learned the hard way that pickle juice is hard to get out and that backpacks were even harder to find.

Walking across the dirt and gravel driveway to the field was the worst. Y/n looked around, walking with her shotgun in her hand. She usually practiced often with her rifle and silencer at home. But on the road she always brought her shotgun. She saw it as her lucky gun. The thick cold metal made her feel strong, even though she knew what strength was.

To her, strength was not pulling the trigger. At this point in life she has yet to prove her strength to her own self. She always took the cowards path. Just like her dad told her to.

Her boots crunched along the path. She walked softly but some noises were unavoidable. She knew the noise would last until she reached the huge wheat field. Then she would be a whisper in the wind. She entered the field without looking back, when she reached the field she knew the rule.

Her legs groaned under the first steps, but after the first quarter mile she started to warm up and she enjoyed running. Her back was the issue, what with the pack being so much heavier than she had ever trained with. She gripped the shoulder straps tight until her arms couldn’t stand it for another second. Even then, she kept pushing until she reached the forest.

She ran deep intothe woods, always on the same side. Never the same path but always the same destination. The branches whipped past her. The edge of the forest was always the thickest. As the forest clears I see him. He’s smiling like always. He’s calm. He doesn’t run and jump. He waits to confirm that she hadn’t brought anything with her. He’s seen them before. He knew how bad it could be. Together both of them had seen the people get swarmed and taken, usually women.

“Hades.” Y/n whispered out of breath.

Instead of the warm greeting they both want, she quickly turned around and held her shotgun up. She walked backwards as Hades sauntered over to watch the forest. They sat behind a tree and waited and after a few minutes she put the pack down gently and climbed one of the huge trees. The thick branches were very rough against her hands. She sat on a branch and looked through her binoculars from the high viewpoint.

She could see the entire field of brown hay from where she was sitting. Y/n let herself have a weak moment and let herself imagine living in the farmhouse one day and harvesting hay. She felt her eyes strain as she tried to find even a single strand of grass moving in a way that would mean she was followed. She looked at the farmhouse sitting still and alone and hoped it would stay that way until her next trip.

She looked past the farmhouse and watched everything move just as it should. After coming to the conclusion that no one had followed her, she climbed down the tree, eager to lay in her own bed.

When her feet touched the dry ground, she looked at Hades, whose yellow eyes confirmed her thoughts. They were alone. She dropped to her knees and greetedhim as he bounded towards her. The large tundra wolf licked her face and raised his massive paws up to hug her. She would hug him so often when he was baby and one day he hugged back.

He nuzzled at her softly and nipped at her arms. She rubbed his huge soft ears and stood up. She patted him gently on his head.

“Ready?” She asked.

She picked up the heavy pack and adjusted to having it on her back again. The walk home would take an entire day if she could manage to keep a solid pace. Hades started the walk home by heading past the old broken oak tree. Their meeting place.

--

I worked really hard on this and so i hope people enjoy this although ik this chapter is a lil boring but i promise next chapter will be better k goodbye have a good day love u

[mannatea]

*1) did you read the end of AoT, or hear about it? Has your opinion about aot changed during those years? now that it's all over I can definitely say that I'm disappointed and deeply hurt (especially with the death of my babies sasha and hange) although for some reasons different from yours. I understand if you don't want to talk about aot anymore, but the thing is,

Hi, hello, thanks for sending this almost out of nowhere. I really appreciate it! (Like, genuinely. That isn't sarcasm.)

I do recall that post I wrote about characterization, because I believe I also had a request to do one for Hange (which I think I did? I feel like there was a hideous artwork I did to go with it and I remember that way more than the post). I can't believe how long ago that was LOL!

I'll hit on a couple of points, or try to. I'm super flattered that you'd come to me for characterization help/advice... FeelsGoodMan. I mean, I'm kind of a washed up ol' fanfic writer now (blows the dust off of my works) but the one thing I've always tried to do is write right by the characters. They are the reason people are clicking on your story, after all; you'd best write them right.

(I fully acknowledge that I was not always successful in this endeavor. Of all the levihan works I put out into the world, the picky picky new me would probably chuck about half of them in the landfill for being OOC.)

I did not catch up fully on the series, though I do still follow a couple of people who read to the end so I have a kind-of moderate understanding of what happened (props to them, by the way; you are stronger and braver than me).

I think I've made peace with the series going a direction I had not anticipated and did not like. At least...to an extent. I'm sure with the right people I could spew endless rants into the air, but the reality is this: sometimes things evolve and change in a way that you, the audience, either:

1. Are not happy with.

2. Do Not Like.

3. Are disgusted/revolted/angered/saddened by.

These are three separate points because honestly, I think if the degree of unhappiness with a direction your favorite series takes is low, or even at the Definitely Don't Like That point, you're not likely to drop the thing, especially not cold turkey.

However, if that direction makes you feel a strong negative emotion, and makes you feel it for long enough—because the shift has a lasting impact for whatever reason—you may find it's in your best interest to, uh...part ways.

And when I say this, I don't just mean This Series! The same issue is taking place in my current fandom as well, to the point where I even made a post talking about it—about how hard it is to feel those sorts of disappointments, rage, fear... I know it sounds silly but when you write fanfiction, draw art, engage in a fandom by making friends or interacting with fanworks...you emotionally invest yourself in it. That makes it hard to let go, but sometimes you do have to ask yourself: should I, though?

That full post is for another day or maybe never (idk, if anyone wants to read that hit me up), but I let go of SnK. It started out interesting but before the timeskip they'd already lost me. It ended up becoming a series that was not meant for me. I've accepted it! And when I've kind of low-key paid attention to what was going on in the series (because even though I dropped it, I still wanted to know how it ended; I mean sure I'm nosy af, but I didn't invest myself into the series for four years only to lose interest in knowing how it ended) it just further solidified my understanding and belief that I did the right thing in dropping it.

Anyway, unfortunately I cannot offer you any "updated" advice for either character, because I'm just so separated from the series it's like...I've lost touch with them (if that makes sense). The one thing I think is probably true though, is that Hange and Levi are the types of characters whose core essences would not be significantly altered by temporary or short-term circumstances. And when I say short-term, I mean relative to how long they've already lived. Yes, Hange undoubtedly gets more "serious" and depressed as time goes on, but it's not as if she's lost what makes her her. Circumstances force her to put on that brave face and take charge where necessary, to put more energy toward serious discussions and making difficult decisions, but the curiosity, the desire to protect humanity: that would never go away. After all, Hange's curiosity, her drive to Do Good in the World: all of that came along way before the newest set of circumstances. So it's still there—she's still Hange. It's just...this looming disastrous new issue is in play and it requires a lot of energy that she used to devote to other things (and can no longer afford to).

I have no earthly idea if any of that will help you, but the most important thing about characterization is to try and put yourself into the shoes of the characters you're writing. Try to fully immerse yourself. Don't make the mistake of thinking, "What would Hange do?" and then really writing what YOU would do in that same circumstance. Pull from canon where you can to get a better grasp on characterization, ask a friend you trust (not a Yes Man kind of friend—someone who isn't afraid to tell you that your idea is OOC), write down character traits that you've seen to help you recall them more easily.

One last advice: no one is perfect at character writing. We all make mistakes or bite off more than we can chew with a character. Heck, the creator himself made sure we knew what a genius Erwin was and then had him form the most hare-brained dumbass plan ever (the suicide run YES I AM STILL SALTY I LOST MY BOY MARLOWE!!!). The key is always going to be to think twice. At least with fanfic you have the option of being able to take as much time as you want because you don't have deadlines to meet, so you can iron out issues like that (provided you can catch them, but you can also find yourself a lovely beta-reader to assist in those matters). Heck, if you try to write something and you realize you're out of your league, you can simply Not Post It, saving yourself a lot of pain and suffering. (Even I do this more often than I want to admit!)

Best of luck out there, and if you think of anything else feel free to send me another message. I hope this was at least one percent useful lmao.

[thattimdrakeguy]

I think the “I’ll kill you panel!” is from the time YJ was being mentally tortured on Apokolips (?) by Granny Goodness (?). And Tim sees his teammates get killed one by one, begging him to save them (98 YJ was pretty dark at times). So I just thought it was natural for him to say that. Like he did lose his patience, mostly with Kon and Bart, but I do find that people exaggerate his responses a bit. More often than not, he’s the one who looks for less violent ways of resolving things. 1/

Like he doesn’t rise to the challenge when someone mocks him/almost attacks him (ex the football players, Slobo). He’s a teenager, in charge of other teenagers, and responsible for their safety. I think the writers never explored that potential enough, because there are moments where they make it seem (probs for the DramaTM) like he’s the law-adhering one (pre Robin Tim literally broke into Dick’s apartment lol) or that he’d rather put the mission before his teammates. 2/

YJ has a lot of Looney Tunes style humor, so the others would also be rough with each other. There’s a panel where Cissie gets mad and strangles Bart. (Also I felt Bart was the brunt of the joke more often than not) At some points in the series, each character had understandable tempers/fits or lashed out when the circumstances were tough, unfair or traumatic (read: puberty + being a superhero is tiring and traumatizing => emotions running high). 3/3

Definitely, like that’s the actual case of what it is. I think Tim said “I’LL KILL YOU. I’LL KILL YOU” directly to Conner, but context to that was, Tim is a fourteen to fifteen year old boy trying to sneak into a government lab (?) and Conner’s clone Match (who was the impersonating Conner and they had no idea) comes barging in ruining the whole thing purely because he has it out for Tim.

Like in context it’s clearly just a kid saying hyperbolic stuff cause he’s a kid--Ya know like how kids do.

Ever seen a kid super stressed? They say all sorts of things. I think most people do nowadays. I’ve told my friends I’ll kill them a lot during video games, but it’s not like it’s actual intent. I’m just super mad at them.

Anyone that thinks that was Tim showing a murderous side to his personality is just stretching stuff really bad, cause they really don’t like Tim or they’re super defensive over their own fav, which happens pretty freaking often on stuff like Twitter. Cause modern Twitter really is just classic Tumblr and it’s got so much second hand embarrassment going on. There is no peace in fandom lol. Exaggeration only. Not like Tumblr is flawless, I’m just here cause I prefer the format of the site. Fandoms are nightmaric when you struggle to read people and have social anxiety.

It’s a somewhat common occurrence to see someone purposely trying to make Tim come off as different from who he is by just taking random panels to make him seem like a really sour prick. And it’s nearly always just because their fav has had antagonistic moments against Tim, and they hate when ever someone talks about the less pleasant moments their fav has done even if it’s not in nearly of harsh of a context as they think it is.

Like they’ll excuse Damian trying to murder Tim cause he was raised by a cult, but treat Tim like he’s the biggest prick in the family because Tim doesn’t trust Damian or like him because the longest Tim has ever hanged out with Damian gave him a near-death experience that would traumatize anyone.

Is this to say Damian deserves to be treated like trash for following the protocol of a cult he was raised in? No, cause he obviously got better.

But people acting like Tim is the true villain because he has a natural reaction to an easily traumatizing event just feels ridiculous and forced. And I get lots of villains have tried to kill Tim, but Tim actually nearly did die by bleeding out. Which would obviously cause a particularly strong reaction.

They’re both in a spot where personally, I can’t really blame either of them, cause it’s both really understandable. Ignoring one whole side to it, is not the best way of looking at it. I don’t care which side you’re on. Seeing pissy fights over simple things are stupid no matter what.

Whenever I see someone talk about the moment in the first arc where Tim doesn’t show up to his date with Ariana they typically ignore the fact he was trying to stop a really important crime and later got cemented underground in a bank truck. They instead focus on how he kissed Steph so it sounds bad. Even then when you read it you can tell the context to why he kissed Steph is totally different than what they act like.

Or if he genuinely does do something shitty, they act like he’s just an evil prick--instead of just immature like how it’s supposed to be taken--cause he’s a kid. They just either take stuff out of context or exaggerate it so much that they come off as weirdly irrational over a piece of fiction.

A lot of shallow, obnoxious stan stuff that’s pretty typical nowadays no matter how much it bugs anyone, even those that aren’t heavy in fandoms.

Although, some of it probably came with the progressively more fucked way they wrote Tim in fairness. People trying to read original Tim through the lens of modern Tim always seem to have a hell of a time cause they’re trying to apply something to what isn’t there.

What can you really do?

They think Tim broke into Bruce’s house and blackmailed him while he was grieving to be Robin. It doesn’t get any more obvious they’re just really salty than that.

[cafedanslanuit]

RFA + V + Saeran with a s/o that goes to protests

As I mentioned before, I’m from Perú. We’ve had several marches in the past few years because we’ve reached levels of corruption that are just nauseating. I’ve attended most of them and have been tear-gassed, chased by policemen riding horses and pushed around in return. One of the things that made me really sad was that two of my boyfriends were opposed to me going to the streets and claiming justice for my country.

So, did I write these headcanons just because I was salty all my ex-boyfriends hated when I attended protests about important matters in my country? Yes

Was that one of the reasons I broke up with them? Maybe

Should you stop going to protests or marches just because your s/o doesn’t like it? ABSOLUTELY NOT

Anyway, have these perfect boys/girl being supportive.

a/n: These headcanons are not set on a particular movement, but are rather about protests about unjust systems in general.

Yoosung

Is he scared? Yes

Is he still going no matter what? YOU BET HE IS

You may think he’s just going with you because he’s your boyfriend but he does care about the injustice you’re both protesting about 

Also, I’ll never stop saying this: Yoosung is brave. He may be scared sometimes but true courage is doing what you have to do despite of that fear

So he’ll hold your hand through it, even help you make some signs.

He’ll help other people if they get hurt during the protest

Just an angel

Zen

Zen wasn’t so keen on the idea at first, not gonna lie.

But after he took some time to educate himself and realized it was a bigger issue, you bet he’s on it

He’ll use his platform on social media to educate his fans, and even do one or two videos about the matter. In case donations are needed, he’ll also share links where they can donate and will donate some money of his own.

He’ll be a little scared about attending protests (mainly because he’s worried about his face getting hurt --it’s not about his narcissism anymore but he’s still an actor) but there’s nothing that will stop him from protecting his princess

Zen will be right by your side the whole time, using his height to check your surrounding in case you need to find a safe space

Jaehee

Sadly, it’s not like she had a choice to attend or not. Most of the protests occur during working hours and she couldn’t find the time.

But she will be really supportive of it! She doesn’t use social media that much but will try and share information to her contacts about it. 

She will also spread the word at work hehe

In case donations are needed, she would make a donation as well, making use of her savings since working at.

You think that was it? HA! drumrolls pleaaaase~

You are seriously misled if you don’t think Jaehee got in touch with other idols club presidents and joined forces to protest their own way by, for example, crashing the police app, reserving Trump rally tickets and not going, and more.

She’ll use any power she has to help out. Once you get home from the protests, please give her a call so she can make sure you’re okay, though.

Jumin

Depending on the motive of the protests, he will go through the list of businesses he’s previously partnered with and give them a call, giving them a timelapse to issue a statement supporting the cause. If it’s a corruption case, he will end the partnership, that’s all.

You may think Jumin wouldn’t be caught dead in a protest

But you’d be wrong

He may have brought his bodyguards to keep an eye on both you and him, but he’s there. There’s no way in hell he’d let you go on your own.

You managed to get him to wear a hoodie and more comfortable clothes instead of his classic three-piece suit. He wasn’t keen on the idea but understood they would be better in case of an emergency.

If donations are needed, he’ll make a massive donation in C&R’s name. And a slighter smaller one in your name.

If he’s not familiar with the issue in hand, he will ask to be educated. This man reads a lot and if you don’t have the time or energy to explain, he will find resources on his own and read. He will interview people. By the end of the day, he could give lectures about the subject (but he won’t---- that would be against the whole thing on being educated lol).

Saeyoung

You need a website going down? You got it, babe.

It doesn’t matter if it’s the police, a bad company or even a government page. If you wanted to make a statement, he would make sure the page went down.

If he’s still working as an agent, he will have to wear a face mask and a hoddie to avoid being recognized at a protest, but you bet he would be there. If he’s loaded with work and can’t possibly make it, he will keep an eye of you through CCTV. Although, all recordings of people protesting will magically disappear afterwards oooops.

His main focus would be the informatics part, though. So feed him as many ideas as you can, he will try his best to be your partner in crime and take down whatever entity is being unjust.

He may not be the tallest of the bulkier but he does have secret agent training so in case you are chased by the police he will be your best chance on escaping them successfully.

V / Jihyun

Jihyun is calm and loving but he’s also brave when it comes to protecting someone he loves.

So, he will be there with you during protests, holding your hand with you both chant against the injustice the protest is about.

He will help you raise funds if they are needed! He will sell several of his photos and have all money sent where it’s needed the most

Jihyun is a sensible guy, he will understand the reason why everyone is so angry and hungry for justice. So when you feel drained and just sad about everything that’s going through, he’ll sit you down on his lap and hug you, reassuring you the work you’re doing is important and that things are changing because of it, so you should feel proud.

Saeran

Saeran will also help with any hacking or coding you may need.

He’s a little more sensitive about injustice because he’s felt similarly since he was young. So, even if he’s still a little iffy about hacking again, he will use all his abilities for the greater good.

Will watch YouTube videos or read books to educate himself. There’s so much of the world he’s missed he may not understand some social issues at first, but after he’s read, he’s ready to put on his sneakers and take the streets.

You both end up setting a small station on the side of the road to help people who were injured in the protests. You also give out water to whoever needs to.

It’s been a while since you’ve seen him with a mask on, but his now red hair and kind eyes make you remember how far he’s come and how he’s willing to help anyone who needs it.

.❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。 .❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。 .❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。 .❀。• *₊°。

a/n: Right now in Perú, there are clinics charging you S/.165 ($ 47.69) for medicine that usually costs S/.1 ($ 0.28). I’m not saying we should go out and protest right now because our healthcare system has officially collapsed, but please, don’t forget this. Don’t forget the clinic names. Don’t forget we’re living the consequences of decades of corruption our parents lived through in silence because the other choice was being called terrorists and going to jail without a proper trial. We’ll get through this. But we must not forget.

[cabeswaterdrowned]

the main alina het ships

Malina: in the books they are okay. I do think when I was younger I was overly hard on the dynamic in some ways since the story is all in Alina’s perspective and you don’t get Mal’s, and because it’s a type of ship I’d been set up to dislike (when I was younger I really did not like childhood friends to lovers because I always thought of them as like, a guy being entitled to a girl’s feelings when she clearly only wants to be friends because that’s what I saw in examples of this like Gail and Katniss or Simon and Clary, obviously now I like that trope more and love friends to lovers stories because they should never be that lol) when I reread the trilogy over the summer I definitely noticed that Mal DOES care for and prioritize Alina in a lot of ways in books 2&3 (and even book 1 we just don’t see it) compared to how I remembered the dynamic. And there are scenes with them that genuinely endear me. However I still find most of their book content to be rather boring, I despise that he cheats on her with Zoya and is forgiven pretty readily (I understand that in times of like life or death everyone in the book is prioritizing other things over this, but I’m still salty on Alina’s behalf). I also don’t agree with the take that Mal has actually always been supportive of Alina’s powers and was never afraid of them because that just isn’t true, he does have moments of resenting her for her power in S&S. His jealousy over her seeing visions of the Darkling is.. on the one hand more understandable than I gave him credit for because like, Alina why would you not tell someone about that earlier? But he handles it horribly. But it’s like three bad moments as opposed to 50 which is how I remembered it, and I do think he grows in book 3 and becomes someone who is a good/acceptable partner for Alina if not a very interesting one. The part where he tells her she’s his flag and his nation? is really great. I’m fine with them ending up together, I just have some issues with Alina’s arc and the direction it seems to be going in vs the direction it ends up going in which I’ve talked about before. So ultimately meh. In the show Jessie and Archie’s chemistry as well as being out of Alina’s head give it a huge lift, and I also just think there’s better romantic material given to them in terms of banter, being shown as a team that works really well together, angst and longing on both sides etc. so I solidly like/ ship them in the show!

Darklina: When I first read these books (I was like 12 for the record) I enjoyed it, as a dynamic that was interesting although obviously I did not see The Darkling as a good match for her at least after reading book 1 I don’t fully remember if I guessed him being evil or not I think I might have first suspected that but been lulled into a false sense of security before the big reveal lmao. I still wouldn’t say I was crazy about it then but I solidly shipped it and also the edits and fan arts for that fandom back when I joined tumblr a very long time ago on a different blog were super beautiful so I think I enjoyed them more as a fanon thing than a canon one, but then I started to get annoyed by the woobification of the Darkling etc. in that fandom and it killed my enjoyment  quite a bit. on this reread I found their interactions in books 1&2 to be a lot more boring (romantically, I think it’s a well constructed story in terms of showing a male abuser who is also charismatic and charming and how that unfolds) than I rememebered tbh and book 2 has scenes that are disturbing in that The Darkling kisses Alina without her consent a couple of times when he’s a vision although it’s very clearly portrayed as bad, I just didn’t fully realize how bad until rereading. In book 3 I do find their dynamic to be compelling from Alina’s side and for her character, I’m obsessed with the scenes where there’s a role reversal with the tether bond and she can get to him, “I am an apt pupil” absolutely slaps I love that scene. And I love the last scene with her killing him and crying it is good to me, but I also don’t want anything more from the relationship than those few scenes or think it’s like, a hugely interesting dynamic (really the answer is that since getting into Buffyverse and Spuffy my bar has been raised for twisted dark m/f ships and I don’t get obsessed with lower quality ones as often or easily lol). And also the fandom continues to ruin what enjoyment of them I do have so I’m pretty apathetic to it currently, and that goes for the show even more so far. Also as per the show I feel the way I did while reading book 1 for the most part, again Ben and Jessie have chemistry so there are moments I like/that work for me while watching but ultimately I’m not too into it. It is what it is at this point story wise.

Nikolina: See this used to be my preferred ship for Alina when I was younger I really liked it and it seemed like the best of both worlds especially because I mostly shipped Alina with the Ravkan throne and this was a good way to accomplish that, otherwise I thought it was a cute dynamic with potential. On my reread I really disliked it actually and it’s my least favorite pairing for her (romantically, as a friendship I still really like it and I love both characters). There’s a scene I’d completely forgotten about where Nikolai kisses Alina in front of other people as like, a political move but he does it without her consent, and unlike with The Darkling where this was clearly framed as a wrong action the tone of the writing is sort of … neutral on Nikolai doing it? Alina is annoyed with him for a little but that’s about it. I also just found them to be really incompatible, and their incompatibility is very much the point we aren’t supposed to see them as good matches for each other. I love the last scene in R&R with the Lantsov emerald and am looking forward to when Nikolai casting is announced and I know someone will make a champagne problems fanvid but that’s the whole of my investment. Also I obviously really love Zoya and Nikolai together and you know me I can multiship but in comparison it’s really obvious how badly Alina and Nikolai would fit together. And a lot of my growing antipathy has to do with how even though that fandom is small I despise the way they talk about Zoyalai but especially just Zoya in general and treat her. That ‘Zoya is as bad as the Darkling!’ essay someone wrote 💀🔪.

If I was like ranking these

Show! Malina > R&R! Darklina > Book! Malina >> Books 1&2 Darklina = Show Darklina > Nikolina

Thanks for the ask! (Send me a ship and I’ll give you my brutally honest opinion)