#(also while this is like. serious post and all—

[kyri45]

✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 29/10✨

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

@xyuki-iris ha chiesto: I LOVE YOU'RE ART ALSO GOOD FOOD But I have a what if What if Redson found Mk having a panic attack over something serious about him being Trans.

Ouch poor baby Red Son would totally support MK and try to calm him down

@ashmeertheimp ha chiesto: First of all your story is glorious and congrats on getting lmk at the very top. Second does Mk want to work on his relationship with Nuwa. I think Nuwa did truly love Mk but she also loved everyone else on earth equally. Mk has forgiven Mac who actually made an effort to hurt Mk (past mistakes) while Nuwa was opposed but still didn't stop Mk from not fixing the pillar of heaven.

I always felt like after S5 his relationship with Nuwa is similar to the one Steven had with Rose after S5 of SU. So it's- complicated

@audioandart ha chiesto: mayhaps a silly question, but towards the very start of the mk shadow peach stuff when mk first shadows into the wall. He says "why is everything *more* flat". Is this implying he already sees the world as 2d the way we do or am I perhaps missing something? 😅 (I love your work! Have a good day 🫰)

ahah yeah I was!!

@fake-anjel ha chiesto: Your comic makes me stay awake at night thinking of the next cap, making theories and making imaginary scenarios and imaginary gacha reactions to them for some reason. I was wondering... If Wukong and Macaque have a child (hypothetically, and by the biological way) wich one would be the oven for the bun? You have a fan from Brazil<3

Well, I would say Wukong, but here comes the question: a Stone Monkey, born from a stone, would be able to reproduce themself? There are no other like the four celestial primates and MK, so I would assume that they weren't able to- reproduce normally. Also if they would does it mean the womb is a stone as well???

@sollythesalt ha chiesto: Just asking if Wukong is trans do his female organs also count as part of his un-glamored form or does he stay with his male ones when he drops his glamour? Also what does his glamour include in your au just out of curiosity?

No under the glamour and shapeshift he still has female organs

@dandy-doodles ha chiesto: I'm VICIOUSLY consuming your comic rn - It actually came across my feed from a reblog. Never watched the show before. Loved the comic so much I binged the entire series and now I'm sat with the task of reading JTTW. This hyperfixation is your fault I love you for it. @ivoronical ha chiesto: Hi! I don’t know how tumblrs asks work because I’ve never used them before, but just wanted to say that your art is ✨fabulous✨ and you’re shadowpeach bio parents au has convinced me to rewatch the show entirely. It’s also made Macaque one of my favorite characters and because of that I am halfway through making a cosplay of him completely from scratch and I’m very excited to finish it:) Anyways I’ve rambled enough. Have a nice day!!! @starzz-twi ha chiesto: Can I just say how much I adore your art! It inspires so much that I might try drawing lmk again 🫶🫶🫶🫶 @artemismoorea03 ha chiesto: I hope you know that your Bio Parents AU fills every waking moment. I swear I only get on Tumblr anymore to see if you've posted something. I eat up any art you post regardless of what fandom it is and I just have to tell you that your art tastes like a blue raspberry icee (the best kind). I hope you're having a fantastic day ♡

AWWW TYSM TO ALL OF YOU!!!!

@sakuralotus03 ha chiesto: What will family gatherings be like now that MK has 4 parents? Like his birthday or end-of-year celebrations. I want to see more of the dynamics of the 4 parents interacting and talking about their one and only child.🐷🤓☀️🌙

oH CHAOTIC INDEED

Anonimo ha chiesto: How does it feel to be one of those artists that like 70% of the fandom knows about

wait is that a random number or???

Anonimo ha chiesto: Will we maybe see Macaque interact with Bai He or Mei?? (I'm starved of DarkHorse/EnderDragon/NightFlare Duo and Raspberry/Black Cat Duo) But I am interested if you might make them interact! :D Anyways, I love how your art got better by each comic, you can see the improvement from the slight sharpness of the shapes in the first comics and the now softer lines.

mmmmm I will maybe I'll do some small scenes

Anonimo ha chiesto: Past Wukong working out: I'ma get so strong. Ain't no one beating me Present Wukong working out: I'ma be so good at hugging my son and husband.

AWWWWWW WHAT A GOOD BABA!

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hello! I wanted to ask if we'll see just how sensitive Macaque's hearing is in your Au in a future comic maybe? Like... a thunderstorm happens or something when he's around FFM watching Mk and Wukong train or something that affects his hearing badly? But either way, love your art and style! :)

mmmm don't know if I have a scene planned for that...

Anonimo ha chiesto: Does Wukong and Macaque know about the other 2 Celstial Primates, Red-Hoarse Baboon and Lomg-Armed Gibbon, in your Bio Shadowpeach parents au?

I think so? In JTTW he knew so I would assume the same?

Anonimo ha chiesto: Will Macaque use his future vision at any time again in this comic? We now know in this Au he hasn't used it in years. But maybe will he use it again soon? I bet he won't but I still wanted to ask :)

not unless he is forced to

Anonimo ha chiesto: I’ve been listening to a song from a Pokémon movie: Always Safe by Cynthia, and I think of the Shadowpeach bioparents Au everytime

AWW that's beautiful the lyrics omg!!!

@notjustonefandom1 ha chiesto: So, I've been thinking about MK's staff. After he got it do you think he develops a habit of clasping his hands together, especiallywhen stressed or threatened? With the fluidity and energy he moves with, I think it would take a while for him yo find a chance to Summon the staff, especially if he isn't fast at it yet, so he just starts keeping his hands pressed together in preparation.

ooooohhh that's a cool idea!

Anonimo ha chiesto: Where does the Macaque has white fur head canon come from? I'm new to this fandom and I'm still learning things and I see it everywhere

I honestly have no idea but I guess either because Japanese Macaque are white furred or bc he died.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Ok so this may be a sensitive topic and definitely doesn't need to be answered so TW Did mk ever go through a depression thing after trying to die to save the universe in the last season in your au? A in like what if Wukong and Mac find out he used to SH?

hish. I'm not probably the right person to answer this. Probably he did had depression tendencies but didn't recognize them until someone pointed them out.

Anonimo ha chiesto: This ask os Going to be a little weird But Can I See Macaque Pining Wukong on the wall?In a Flirty way?(pretty Please?) I love Your Art so much!👑❤️‍🔥💎

Ouh.. *cleans forehead from sweat* is getting hot in here... maybe?

@autism-autobot ha chiesto: Wukong: OH BUDDHA, HE CALLED ME BABA!!!!! (SCREAMS WITH JOY) What DBK heard over the phone with his brother: OH andhdbrjjsm (feral monkey screeching)

Poor DBK gotta deal with the gossip now

@alastair-1205 ha chiesto: OMG THE MOST RECENT PART IM CRYING But I also love how Mac's first instinct is just grabbing Wukong and being like: "get out of hearing range before we freak out, get out of hearing range before we freak out, get out of-" you know? It's very funny but also builds on past comics since they woke MK up last time smth like this happened and I'm just !!!!!

GOTTA MAKE THE BABY SLEEP

@eerieqloss ha chiesto: OSISJJWJSJSJWWN OKAY WAIT SO IS MK GONNA START CALLING THEM MAMA AND BABA INSTEAD OF THEIR NAMES CONTINUALLY OR WAS IT JUST THAT ONE TIME

It wont be a one time!

Anonimo ha chiesto: I hope you are resting as you should Always remember to take your time, rest first, then work, ofc as far as possible 😅. I have a fun question (if you have the time ofc 👉🏻👈🏻): will we see Feral MK again? But you know, like another kind of "demonic learning" that maybe wukong or Mac will teach him to control or see that it's not bad as it looks

For now i want my baby to either be happy or traumatized not angry.

Anonimo ha chiesto: I feel like i remember you asking about happier shadowpeach songs for your playlist, but I can't find the post anymore. But if you're still looking, Livingston's new song Glow reminds me of them and also made me think about the eclipse scenes in the comic.

Several of Livingston's other songs also give me shadowpeach vibes, but I think about them so much that I might just be seeing them everywhere at this point.

Oooh true a lot of his song fits really well!!

Anonimo ha chiesto: This is the only instance where having a kid really did bring a couple together.

TRUE LMAO

Anonimo ha chiesto: Soo...Wukong and Mac in the DBK Palace I have a question in my mind!!!! Actually I hope you to see it and draw it.. if you don't wanna it's okay! What if DBK & PIF flirt with each other or smt like this u know in front of shadowpeach?! They will probably look to each other and then blushing hard

HAHAHHA poor souls they would totally think of wanting to kiss each other but can't because they are emotionally constipated.

[dollishsz]

BATBOYS GENERAL HCS DURING DATING ── .✦

a/n: my posts are barely getting engagement so it would be nice to reblog + like + cmmt tysm! Also

I’m so tired because I don’t know what I want to do with myself when like writing because I don’t have much ideas yk, (I do have a lottt of ideas just don’t want to like spam and idk how to like execute it correctly so ya) but I’m so grateful I’m back!

(Tags: batboys general hcs + fem!reader)

DICK GRAYSON ── .✦

Compliments: Dick will compliment you constantly, but they’re the slightly extra kind. “You look like you just walked off the cover of a magazine… Or like you’re about to rob a bank with your style, and I’m here for it.”

Date Nights: Dick is a hopeless romantic mixed a romantic flirty person. He'll plan elaborate date nights that are almost too perfect. You're having a candlelit dinner on a rooftop... until a mosquito swoops by, and you both spend 20 minutes trying to catch it.

Awkwardly Adorable: Dick tries so hard to be smooth, but when it’s just the two of you, he ends up tripping over his words, saying things like ���I love you… like… in a non-creepy way… I mean, I know that sounds creepy but—“, “you know dick, you could’ve just told me you loved me no need for all that extra yapping.”

Sharing Food: He can’t resist sharing his food with you but will dramatically defend his fries. “No, you can't have any. This is the last one. You’ll be fine. It’s called 'the sacrifice of love.'”

JASON TODD ── .✦

Grumpy But Cute: Jason might be brooding and grumpy on the outside, but once he gets comfortable with you, he’s a sucker for giving you the best hugs. They’re just not as soft as you expect, because, well, he’s Red Hood and that’s not very 'soft' in his book.

Love Language: He definitely has a love language of throwing sarcastic remarks at you to show affection. “I’m just saying, you look so good, I might actually let you live longer than five minutes without me.”

Meme Sharing: Jason will share the funniest memes with you, and he will laugh harder than anyone else when you send him a reaction meme. You two could spend hours going through meme after meme while ignoring his patrol responsibilities.

Late Night Conversations: He’s always the first to text at 3 am just to say, “I’m not okay. Also, I think I might’ve made pasta in the Batcave, but it’s 80% burnt and half of the 20% is missing on the ground in other words, it’s fully burnt. You in?”

TIM DRAKE ── .✦

Puns & Dad Jokes: Tim is the king of puns. You might be mid-sentence talking about something serious, and he’ll sneak in, “Well, that’s egg-sactly what I was thinking.”

Organizing Everything: Tim will have a notebook just for your relationship. He organizes things like "future plans," "annoying habits to change," and “how we can both pretend to be normal in public.”

Overthinking: Tim might send you long, thoughtful texts about nothing and everything, then panic and delete them. Later, you get a short text that says, “Hey, I like you. It’s cool. Let’s go save Gotham.”

Netflix & Research: On date nights, Tim is all about watching a documentary on some obscure topic. You wanted to watch a rom-com? Nope. Tim says, “Let’s learn about the history of ancient pizza ovens.”

DAMIAN WAYNE ── .✦

Fiercely Protective: Damian will go full boss mode in a relationship. If someone even looks at you wrong, he’s ready to challenge them to a duel. You’ve never seen someone challenge a guy at the coffee shop to a sword fight over a latte until you met him.

Literally Shakespeare: He has this bizarre habit of reciting random Shakespeare quotes when trying to express his feelings. “My love for you is like a tempest, crashing and relentless. Also, I think you forgot to add sugar in my coffee.”

Jealousy: He’ll get jealous of even the smallest things. That random guy who offered to help you with your grocery bags? Damian’s glaring at them from across the parking lot, preparing his “You’re not worthy” speech.

Tenderness: Don’t be fooled by his brooding exterior. Damian will get you flowers (in his own way) — like a very dramatic single red rose that he purchased with the least amount of emotion possible, but you know he spent an hour picking the perfect one.

BRUCE WAYNE ── .✦

Grumpy But Loyal: Bruce is that partner who takes a long time to warm up to things, but once he’s in, he’s in 100%. He’ll still be grumpy, though. If you show up in a bat-themed shirt, you’ll get a raised eyebrow and a grunt that could probably level an entire building.

Affectionate In His Own Way: Bruce will bring you your favorite coffee without asking because he’s been paying attention to your usual order for the past six months. But if you say anything about it, he’ll act like he’s annoyed. “I’m Batman. I don’t do things for people.”

Overprotective: He’ll put the Batcomputer between the two of you if he’s feeling protective, even if it’s completely unnecessary. Someone bumps into you? Bruce is already three steps ahead, tracking their life history and figuring out their deepest secrets, just in case.

Romantic, But Quiet About It: Bruce can’t show his love through words, but the way he gives you his jacket when it’s cold speaks volumes. Of course, he acts like it was an accident. “I didn’t want you to catch a cold, that’s all. I’m not a softy, don’t read into it.”

GENERAL TRAITS FOUND IN THEM ── .✦

Matching Outfits: They’ll all pretend like they’re too cool for matching outfits, but one day they’ll catch themselves accidentally twinning with you, and neither of you can ever act normal again.

In Public: They’ll all act like they don’t care if you hold their hand in public, but if anyone tries to grab your hand instead, they’ll give them a glare that could freeze a person in place.

Batman’s Turtleneck: Every Batboy secretly loves when Bruce wears his iconic black turtleneck and glasses. They all think Bruce looks like a mysterious intellectual, and they might just start commenting on it to mess with him. Bruce is too focused on Gotham to care.

[rafeskai]

Starstruck | Drew Starkey

Chapter One

Summary: In the bustling crowd of a premiere event for Outer Banks, you find yourself caught up in a chaotic moment, lost in the sea of fans. Desperate for a way out, you stumble into an alley where fate leads you to an unexpected—and painful—encounter with Drew Starkey. What starts as a simple misstep soon spirals into something far more complicated, and your life takes an unexpected turn.

Pairings: Drew Starkey x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Author's Note: This will be another short fic!!

The city of Los Angeles had always seemed like a dream—one that was just out of reach, filled with palm trees, bright lights, and endless possibilities. You’d seen it in the movies, heard the stories, and scrolled through enough Instagram posts to feel like you knew the place by heart. But none of that had prepared you for the reality of it all—the hum of the traffic, the overwhelming buzz of constant movement, and the sheer size of everything.

It was your first trip to LA, and you had planned to move there. To experience a new beginning, a contrast from your life back in a small town in South Carolina. Your cousin, Ava had begged you to move in with her. She moved out here a few months ago to follow her dreams, chasing her career in fashion and the hustle of the city. And as much as you’d heard about her exciting life, you couldn’t help but feel a little bit nervous. She was always the one to take the leap, to dive headfirst into new opportunities while you watched from the sidelines.

You stood at the gate of LAX, your suitcase rolling behind you, looking around at the sea of strangers and travelers. It felt like the city itself had swallowed you up already, even though you were still waiting for Ava to come pick you up. The air smelled like a mix of saltwater, car exhaust, and faint hints of perfume. Everything seemed bigger, louder, and brighter than anything you were used to.

Ava had promised to take you to some cool places—maybe even a celebrity sighting or two, if you were lucky. She’d been raving about how “amazing” LA was, how everyone was so “laid-back” but also so “serious about making things happen.” You weren’t sure what that meant exactly, but you were excited to see what her new life was all about.

Finally, your phone buzzed with a text. It was Ava.

Ava: “I’m here, babe! I’ll be by in a sec. Get ready for an adventure!”

You smiled to yourself, tucking your phone back in your pocket. Your cousin always had a way of making everything sound like it was going to be epic.

As you stepped outside the airport, you saw Ava leaning against her car, a mischievous grin on her face and sunglasses perched atop her head. She waved you over enthusiastically, her curly hair bouncing as she jumped up and down.

“There you are!” she said, pulling you into a hug. “Welcome to LA, sweetheart!”

You hugged her back, letting out a small laugh at her over-the-top enthusiasm. Despite the chaos around you, her energy was contagious. It was exactly what you needed to start your adventure in this strange, exciting city. And maybe, just maybe, you’d find yourself falling for LA the way everyone else did.

Ava tossed your suitcase into the trunk and hopped into the driver’s seat, motioning for you to get in. “Alright,” she said, turning the key in the ignition. “Let’s show you what this place is really about.”

As you slid into the passenger seat and buckled up, the city sprawled out in front of you. The buildings, the people, the cars—everything was moving so fast. You couldn’t help but feel like you were on the brink of something big. This trip was going to be more than just a visit; it was going to be an experience that might change everything.

Ava shot you a grin as she pulled onto the highway. “Ready for your first adventure in LA?”

You took a deep breath, a nervous excitement bubbling up inside of you. “I think so.”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The ride to Ava’s apartment was a whirlwind of sights and sounds. Palm trees lined the streets, swaying lazily in the breeze, their silhouettes framed against the setting sun. The cars zipped by, each one seemingly flashier than the last, and the billboards advertised everything from the latest blockbuster films to obscure yoga studios. Ava, ever the LA native-in-the-making, narrated the trip like a tour guide, pointing out landmarks and offering unsolicited advice.

“That’s Runyon Canyon,” she said, gesturing to a hill dotted with hikers. “Great for photos, but only go early in the morning. Otherwise, it’s hotter than hell.”

You nodded, your eyes wide as you took everything in. “Noted.”

“Oh, and you’ll definitely need to get used to traffic. Like, it’s not if you’ll sit in it—it’s how many hours of your life you’ll lose to it.”

The apartment complex Ava lived in was nestled in a lively neighborhood just outside of downtown. It wasn’t the most glamorous building, but it had charm, with colorful murals painted along the walls and a small courtyard with string lights hanging from the trees. As you stepped inside, dragging your suitcase behind you, Ava gave you a grand tour of her one-bedroom unit, which she’d converted into a makeshift two-bedroom by sectioning off the living room with a curtain.

“Sorry it’s not huge,” she said, flopping onto her bed as you set your suitcase down near the futon that would serve as your new sleeping spot. “But the location is killer, and it’s LA—no one actually hangs out in their apartment. We’ll be too busy living it up.”

You laughed, appreciating her enthusiasm even if you weren’t entirely sure you’d adjust to this new pace. The space itself was cozy, with mismatched furniture, a tiny kitchen, and windows that let in just enough light to make it feel inviting. Ava’s personality was everywhere—her collection of vintage magazines, her mood board filled with fabric swatches and fashion sketches, and an eclectic mix of candles and trinkets scattered on every surface.

That night, you spent hours unpacking while Ava filled you in on her plans for your first week. From trendy coffee shops to a thrift store crawl, she had your itinerary packed. But what caught your attention most was her excitement over the Outer Banks premiere.

“You have to come with me tonight,” she said, flopping onto your futon dramatically. “It’s going to be amazing. Red carpet, celebrities, the works.”

You hesitated, folding a sweater and setting it aside. “I don’t know, Ava. I just got here. Don’t you think I need a little time to settle in?”

She shook her head emphatically. “Nope. The best way to settle in is to jump in headfirst. Trust me, babe. You’ll love it. Plus, who knows? Maybe you’ll meet someone famous.”

You raised an eyebrow at her, but her grin was infectious. Despite your nerves, you couldn’t help but feel a little intrigued. The idea of attending a real Hollywood event was daunting, but also undeniably exciting. This was LA, after all—the city of endless possibilities.

“Okay,” you said finally, earning a squeal of delight from Ava. “But you owe me coffee for a week if this goes horribly wrong.”

“Deal,” she said, leaping to her feet. “Now, let’s find you something fabulous to wear.”

As Ava rummaged through her closet, tossing dresses and accessories your way, you couldn’t help but smile. Moving to LA was already proving to be as overwhelming as you’d feared, but with Ava by your side, you were starting to believe that maybe you could handle it.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

You’d never been one for crowds, but when Ava forced convinced you to go the Outer Banks premiere in LA, you couldn’t turn it down. You weren’t a huge fan of the show, but you’d heard enough buzz to know it was a big deal. Plus, Ava had a knack for dragging you into her wild adventures, and when she’d said "Hollywood glamour," you couldn't help but get caught up in the excitement.

The red carpet was everything you imagined and more. Flashbulbs from cameras stung your eyes as celebrities in perfectly tailored suits and dresses posed for photos. You tried to focus on the stars walking by, but it felt like the entire city was crammed into this one street, and the noise—oh, the noise—was almost too much to bear. Ava had already spotted a few friends and pulled you along, her chatter almost drowned out by the sound of hundreds of voices and music blaring from speakers.

"I need to get a selfie with Drew Starkey!" Ava shouted over the noise, practically bouncing on her feet.

You blinked. Drew Starkey? The guy who played Rafe Cameron on Outer Banks?

"Wait, wait, wait," you protested, pulling back on her arm. "I’m not ready for that—"

But she was already off, threading her way through the crowd, her phone in hand, her eyes focused on the star she was aiming for. You sighed and tried to follow, but the crowd was thickening, and before you knew it, you were separated from Ava.

You glanced around, feeling your pulse quicken as the realization hit—you were lost. People were pushing past you, and the overwhelming mass of bodies made it hard to even catch your breath. Frantically, you glanced around for some way to escape the chaos, a backdoor, a quiet corner—anything.

That’s when you spotted a narrow alleyway just off the red carpet, tucked behind a line of sleek black cars. It was quiet. It was a chance to breathe.

You weaved through the crowd, trying to stay unnoticed, hoping to find an escape route or at least somewhere to collect yourself. But as you stepped into the alley, you felt a bit of relief—until a loud bang echoed from behind you.

Before you could react, the door to a building swung open, and you stumbled backward as the metal edge caught you square in the face.

The world tilted sideways.

Everything went black for a moment, and you stumbled backward into the wall of the alley, your hands instinctively reaching up to touch your face, feeling a sharp pain shoot across your forehead. What the hell just happened?

A voice—gruff and slightly panicked—came from the direction of the door. “Oh, God, I’m so sorry!”

You groaned, blinking your eyes open, your vision swimming. Standing in front of you, looking at you with wide, apologetic eyes, was none other than Drew Starkey himself.

You didn’t recognize him at first. Your head was swimming, and your pulse was racing. But then his face registered, and you froze. Drew Starkey?

“I didn’t see you there,” he said, reaching out as if to help you, but then pulling back as though unsure. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry. I—I didn’t mean to… hit you. I’m really sorry.”

You couldn’t find words right away. Your vision swam, and you felt lightheaded, your hand instinctively rising to your forehead to feel the throbbing pain.

“Do you need help? I can get someone…” His voice trailed off, a soft edge of concern in it now. “Please say you’re okay.”

Somehow, you found your voice, though it came out more like a pained whisper. “I think... I think I’m okay. Just... I need a second.”

His eyes were full of worry, but he took a step back, glancing around as if searching for someone to help. The alley was dimly lit, and you weren’t sure if anyone had even noticed the accident with how chaotic the premiere still was just beyond the alley.

“Look, um, I don’t know how to make this better. But can I help you?” Drew asked, his voice quieter now, as if he wasn’t sure how to approach you.

You stared at him, trying to focus. This was Drew Starkey. The actor you’d just been thinking about. And you’d gotten hit in the face by a door he opened. You blinked again, still struggling with the fog in your head.

“I’m really not sure you can fix this,” you managed to say, but there was a hint of humor in your voice. The ridiculousness of the situation, how absurd it felt, wasn’t lost on you. Here you were, standing in a back alley with Drew Starkey, and you were definitely not looking your best.

Drew chuckled, though there was still concern in his eyes. “Okay, fair enough,” he said, running a hand through his hair, making it even messier than usual. “But seriously, let me at least get you a drink or something. I feel awful.”

You hesitated, blinking away the dizziness. There was no denying you felt a little bit starstruck, standing face-to-face with him. But there was something else in his eyes now—something soft and genuine. He wasn’t acting like the celebrity you’d imagined, with all the flashy confidence. Instead, he seemed... human. Worried. And kind.

"Alright," you said slowly, trying to steady yourself.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

 You hadn’t realized how badly you were shaking until Drew gently guided you toward a nearby door. It looked like a back entrance to the venue, a simple wooden door with a security keypad next to it. He motioned for you to go first, his hand on the small of your back as though to steady you, and you couldn’t help but feel your heart rate spike for reasons entirely unrelated to the pain in your head.

“Okay, okay,” Drew said, pushing open the door with a soft creak. “We’re going inside where it’s a little quieter. We can sit for a second while you get your bearings. Deal?”

You nodded, your brain still struggling to catch up. This was really happening—you were with Drew Starkey right now. The man Ava has been obsessing over. But now, here he was, acting more like a guy who’d accidentally banged someone’s face with a door than some famous heartthrob.

Once inside, you realized it wasn’t some ritzy celebrity lounge or hidden VIP area, but rather a backstage hallway with a few chairs scattered around and crew members rushing by, deep in conversation or adjusting equipment. The lights were dim here too, but it was at least a bit more peaceful compared to the madness outside.

Drew led you to one of the chairs by the wall and sat down across from you, though not too far. He was careful not to invade your personal space, which you appreciated. He looked genuinely concerned, his brow furrowed as he examined your face.

“Does it hurt? I mean, does it feel like it’s swelling or anything? I’m no doctor, but...” He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

You winced, touching the side of your forehead again. It was definitely sore, a dull ache, but nothing that felt too serious. Yet.

“No, I think it’s just a bump. It’ll be fine,” you said, hoping you weren’t downplaying it too much. “It’s not the first time I’ve walked into a door, you know?”

Drew raised an eyebrow. “Really? That’s a new one for me. Usually, people walk into doors because they’re distracted or something, but... this feels a little more like a... targeted door.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, the sound shaky at first but more genuine as it left your mouth. “Well, if I’d known the door was going to open right into my face, I would've steered clear.”

He chuckled along with you, but his eyes still carried a hint of concern.

“Look, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt. I was just trying to get out of there before the paparazzi went wild. It’s been a long night.”

You could tell he was being sincere. There was no hint of ego in his voice, nothing that would make you feel like he was brushing it off because he was a celebrity—which, honestly, you might have expected in a situation like this. But Drew didn’t seem like the type.

“I’m just glad you’re not one of those celebrities who tries to act too cool to care,” you said, then realized how that might sound. “I mean, not that I thought you would be, but you know... it’s nice not to be treated like a random fan.”

He looked at you, tilting his head slightly, his expression softening. “I get it. I mean, I don’t think we’re all that different, you know? I’m just a guy with a weird job.”

“A weird job?” You raised an eyebrow, surprised by his humble tone.

“Yeah,” he said, shrugging. “I mean, I get paid to pretend to be someone I’m not for a living. How weird is that?”

You smiled. “Well, you’re pretty good at it. Everyone seems to love Rafe Cameron.”

Drew laughed, but it sounded a little forced. “Thanks, I guess. I don’t know if ‘love’ is the right word though, considering the character I play...”

You nodded in understanding. It was clear he wasn’t as fond of Rafe as most fans were. “True, true,” you said. “I mean, Rafe’s not exactly the most... well, likeable guy. But he’s interesting. He’s got layers, you know? I feel like he’s the kind of character you love to hate.”

Drew’s lips twitched into a faint smile. “Yeah. It’s definitely a challenge. But I’ll take it. It’s more fun playing a character who’s got that edge.”

The conversation lingered in an unexpected place of comfort, with the two of you talking like you had known each other far longer than just a few minutes. As you talked, you started to feel the fogginess in your head subside a little, your thoughts a bit clearer. You shifted in your chair, feeling a bit more steady.

"So, uh," Drew spoke up again, breaking the comfortable silence. "I feel like we should properly introduce ourselves now. I’m Drew, obviously." He grinned, though there was a hint of awkwardness in his eyes.

You smiled, feeling a little silly that you hadn’t introduced yourself earlier, but you were still kind of in shock. “I’m Y/N.”

“Well, Y/N, I’m really sorry again for hitting you in the face,” he said, still a little sheepish. "Maybe I can make it up to you somehow? Like, take you out for a drink or... I don’t know... find a way to help?"

It took you a moment to register the question, your mind racing. Was he asking you out? Or just trying to be nice?

Before you could overthink it, Drew added quickly, “Not in a weird way! Just... you know... trying to make it right.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “I get it. I mean, a drink sounds nice—just... no more doors, okay?”

Drew's grin widened, clearly relieved by your response. “Deal. No more doors. And I’ll make sure to keep it to something a little more... calm.”

© 2024 rafeskai | All rights reserved. This fanfiction is a work of fiction inspired by characters from Outer Banks, and no part of it may be reproduced or distributed without permission.

[drdemonprince]

I keep seeing the posts about male socialization and idk it makes me feel weird because I identify as transfem and I *do* believe I had male socialization. I find it easier to identify with and understand male groups and to feel involved in the while I feel less at ease understanding how women feel and think even though my personal view of myself leans more towards a feminine identity. All these posts make me doubt that I am truly "transfem" and that even if I am, that I am fundamentally transfem in a different way than most other transfems I run into. Is there any sources or writing out there that either provides a counter-perspective or at the very least points to nuance on this subject from a transfem lens? I wish I didn't feel so alone with these feelings.

Your feelings and experience do not make you any less legitimate as a transfeminine person. A lot of trans women rightfully and understandably need to counteract the notion that they're oppressive privileged males or whatever by asserting, as clearly as they can, the many ways in which their socialization was a female socialization, with all the double-standards, demanded emotional labor, sexual predation, etc that entails -- but the very need to assert these things is due to the culture's twisted misconceptions about what gender even is and how it operates.

It's not as though a young person only gets the socialization of the binary gender to which they were assigned -- they get mandatory cishet socialization, and they see what is expected of the "other" gender, and that impacts them, and the standards for that other gender also influence how they are interpreted and seen.

And so I do think, to a certain extent, that when trans people assert that we actually didn't get socialized as our assigned gender at birth, we got socialized as the correct gender, actually, we are unfortunately ceding ground to the transphobes on a couple of key points. One, we're conceeding that there is a singular binary socialization that the two genders each get, which are separate from one another and always exhibit specific features, and two, that a person's socialization as a young person is a key determinant of their gendered experience, privilege, and identity forever, no matter what happens after they are young.

And you know, both those things are totally wrong. There is no one female socialization. I've written about this before, but I wasn't raised to be feminine. I was raised the way working-class girls are raised, which is to be no-nonsense, unfrivolous, serious, sporty, and capable -- a wife and mother, but the kind that never wears a skirt or cries in front of people. And there is no singular "male" socialization either -- I cite a few trans femme people in this piece who experienced themselves as having some male privilege before they transitioned, and some more typically "male" experiences, while also quoting a number of trans women whose lives went the exact opposite way. I assert in the piece that their experiences are theirs to name, and that there's a number of different ways we might each understand and categorize them personally -- especially when we take into account how much gendered socialization is dependent upon class, race, immigration status, diasporic status, and much more.

My view is that however you think your live played out, and whoever you find community alongside, you're right. I'm about to answer a similar ask about this from a trans masc perspective, but I'm a guy who has a ton of women friends and always have. I grew up mostly with girls as my closest buddies and we did things like playing pretend and having slumber parties and doing makeovers. I could chalk this up as a "female socialization" experience I guess if I wanted to. But I also grew up with a lot of gay boys, and I am a gay man, and guess what -- a lot of us grow up with predominately female friends. I don't think I have some essential feminine quality because my friends kept insisting on putting eyeshadow on me when I was ten. The fact I was bad at sports and couldn't be the tough, no-nonsense person that my culture expected me to be was gonna affect me whether I was a boy or a girl. And my upbringing was significantly different from that of one of my very best, oldest friends, whose family owned a successful business and were able to buy her a car and a horse and shit.

You're not betraying anything or lessening your own transfemininity by resonating with some typically "male" experiences or for having close male connections. Lots of queer women do! Just like I have plenty in common with lots of women! We don't say that cis women aren't women because they grew up tomboys, or had a ton of brothers, and the same is true of you. Even if you don't think of your younger self as "a tomboy" or even as a girl. You don't have to ascribe to the narrative that you were always one gender and always moved through the world with that identity. To demand that all trans people do so is respectability politics -- we cannot and should not require that all people be trans in the same ways. I have written before that transition to me feels at once both pre-ordained AND a choice that I made. You can say that you lived as a boy for some years or were a boy if that feels right to you, or that you had certain privileges while also suffering from dysphoria and disconnection; it's your life and you know it best and what serves you.

I wish I had narratives from trans women writers to direct you to, but for the most part the trans women who I've heard express feelings like yours have been in the support and discussion groups I've been in, and in private conversation -- I think because the socialization experiences of trans femmes are so unfairly politicized. I hope if any trans femme people see this have anything to share or any words to say that they will!

[fairiesthrum]

ummmmmm excuse me, my dearest fae, you can’t just say this and then not expand???

bounty hunter satoru?? do you think he has a dirty little space ship that desperately needs maintenance and he constantly brings back aliens from trips just so he can play around with them, exploring their bodies till they’re trembling and whining…………………………………

🎀 — humblest apologies for not explaining myself further alba 😓 (incoming yap session)

imagine in a galaxy far, far away, there’s a place where aliens and humans co-exist. now, about most of the population of aliens appear pretty humanoid, just very colorful skin and hair (pink, purple, green, blue, etc.)

the setting is very much like that of guardians of the galaxy, and gojo satoru is the most notorious bounty hunter there is. i imagine him (i’ll try to post a drawing soon) with a lot of cyber tech. his whole outfit would be black and he uses two guns, one with blue led lights and the other red (trying to get y’all to envision.) he’d also have his signature blindfold but instead, it comes in the form of cyber tech mask glasses that can dematerialize by pressing a button on the side (kinda like peter quill’s.)

he rarely ever misses when he shoots and he always catches the perps (nah, i’d win space edition.) and satoru is very serious abt his job (ik shocking but he’s gotta make that bag somehow and being a bounty hunter pays really well.) he’s very confident to say that nothing is able to distract or deter him from getting it done. but unfortunately for him, he has only one weakness. and that was alien girl puthayy 😛

see, the problem was, aliens and humans can not reproduce with one another. it wasn’t impossible, it was just against the rules. and by that definition, it also meant that it was illegal to have sex with one another. but let’s be fr, it’s going to happen whether it’s outlawed or not.

the first time satoru’s fucked an alien woman, it was at a strip club. as a man, he was curious to what it’d feel like to fuck one. and unfortunately for him, it was the best he’s ever had. it was his guilty pleasure, the one thing no-one could know about or else, it’d risk his job. but it was just too good. and where he used to jerk his cock off to human girls on his ship, now he does it thinking about alien girls. it always has him coming fast, and sometimes, just the thought can have him busting a nut in his pants, completely untouched.

he’s never had mind-blowing sex like that before in his life. the man is already a sex fanatic and craves it all the time (it helps him blow off steam), but he can’t cum when fucking regular human women anymore ;( it’s cause aliens were far more sensitive than humans, their senses advanced with the ability to feel more. and there was no feeling on earth (pun intended) like rutting into a warm cunt that was eager to suck him in, strangling his cock cuz some alien chick was horny out of her mind, pussy practically drooling all over him.

it’d have to be a secret though. and luckily for satoru, no one suspects someone like him, who’s job was to hunt down rogue aliens, to love sloppy extraterrestrial pussy.

satoru’s ship is made from the same advanced tech as his suit. it gets dirty from his constant partying and hook-ups. so, when he needs to get it checked cuz some huge beefy alien dude breaks his console during one of his ragers, he doesn’t bring it to the usual repair shop everyone goes to for their space ships. oh no no, he goes to one run by the other species.

there were a lot of hot ladies working there (because sexism doesn’t exist amongst aliens like at least they doing sumn right unlike us 😒) so, a lot of the times, his ship doesn’t end up fixed at the end.

he… likes to stay and watch them with dark, hooded eyes as they prance around his ship, eager to do their job. every once in a while, he’ll put a hand on their hip, letting it linger just long enough before pulling away when he comes over to “check on the progress.” the touch isn’t uninvited, he knows from the sultry gazes and flirty touches that are given in turn that they’re very much into him too.

it’s not long before he has them bent over the console, thrusting into the warm gooeyness of their sticky hole as they mewl and whine for more of his fat cock while he pinches their sensitive nipples ‘till they squirm.

they’re loud, and he loves it. it feeds his ego to know how hungry they are for him, for his cock. aliens were known for multiplying by the dozen, he assumes it has something to do with that. satoru’s thought about it before, breeding an alien. it was just a fantasy though, a fantasy that has him spilling his cum inside them on the spot, their needy whimpers begging him to.

that was his routine, catching criminals and fucking alien girl pussy on the side. and when his next mission entails finding some lady who stole some priceless piece of tech that could’ve sold for a lot, he was on board to find you right away (and that had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you were smoking hot.)

it was easy for him to track you, he was the best at this job after all. you try to flee but he manhandles you against the wall, trapping you with your wrists pinned behind you, his chest up against your back. his warm breath hits your neck, panting from chasing you down. satoru’s eyes are dilated, but you’re unable to see with your cheek pressed against the cool metal in front of you.

this wasn’t what you had expected, you were caught so easily! it was a bad idea from the start, but it was either take a leap of faith and end up rich or be broke forever.

the pleas instantly leave your lips, begging to be let go. you didn’t want to go to prison. you were young and had so much to live for! (the two cents in your back pocket 😓) satoru listened, his cerulean eyes twinkling with amusement and poorly concealed arousal as you went on, swearing how you’d never do it again, that he could take back what you stole and forget it ever happened. he contemplated for a moment, choosing his cards carefully, before he’s leaning in next to your ear to whisper, “no can do, sweetheart.”

you shiver, and the atmosphere seems to change around you suddenly at the shift in his tone. a feeling you were all too familiar with stirs in your stomach, your body simply a slave to pleasure (curse your biology!) and the way he had spoken to you just then had you wet in a matter of seconds.

you try to compromise, “i’ll do anything!” it flies out of your mouth before you can even think. and he smirks, like he had been waiting for that the entire time.

“anything?”

and that’s how you end up getting railed by the human man who was sent to capture you.

“‘s so fucking good— fuck!”, he’s slurring by your ear, like he was getting drunk off of pounding into you. the thrusts were desperate, as if he could never get enough of your insides. satoru could stay like this forever, watching his cock slide in and out, stretching you open with his girth. he clings onto you like he never wants to let go, your wrists free and resting on the metal in front of you, the warm puffs of your breath condensing on the cold alloy. strong pale arms covered in high-tech were wrapped tightly around your waist while his hips thrust into you with a hungered fervor.

the tip of his mushroom head hits that spot inside you that has you seeing stars and absolutely gushing around him. he gives you a low groan of approval when you clench, “jus’ like that pretty, jus’ like that—”

then he lets you go after blowing a load inside you, leaving you with shaky legs and a throbbing for more. and you totally don’t start thieving more often just so he can come find you and do it all over again.

anyways, that is all i have for space bounty hunter gojo lol ₓₓ

[killuakiru]

hiiii!! omg ive been SCOURING for a hxh blog for a while bro there’s barely any that’s active 😭😭 could i request dating hcs for the main four? ty!! :3

YES I ABSOLUTELY CAN !! I've been waiting for a main 4 request !! I CAN FINALLY POST intrams r coming to a close so praise the lord 🙌 I promise I am working yall

⊹₊⋆ Lovey-Dovey!ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

⊹₊⋆ Gn!Reader x K.Zoldyck, G.Freecss, L.Paradinight, K.Kurtaᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

༉‧₊˚. Start !༉‧₊˚.

༉‧₊˚. Killua Zoldyck !ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

• Let's start with some pre-dating head canons !

• Honestly, seeing Killua's personality, he'd be really low-key about it and casual for some reason..

• You literally wouldn't think he likes you to that extent, but your label as his "best friend" Says numbers to him.

• Killua definitely confessed during his vulnerable moments, having a solemn and sad expression as he spoke. "The way you treat me compares to no other, but.. With my background, can I really be with someone so pure?"

• His words left you perplexed. What did his words mean at this current situation? "What are you saying..?" You mumbled with a raised eyebrow.

• "I'm saying I like you." Killua mumbles, a tint of irritation and vulnerability in his tone as he sighs.

• Post-dating head canons !

• The whole week you've been dating, everything was low-key. You were both casual with hints of romantic teasing gestures from him.

• Killua isn't the clingy or touchy type, but he'd always snake an arm around your shoulder and let you lean your body against his if he wants to feel your presence.

• Additionally, if he's feeling protective or in a scenario where you guys are in an unknown territory, he'll hold your hand and guide you.

• Killua isn't also the one to say direct praise, since he's known for not saying a simple gratitude to his friends, so he just gives you a small smile or nod of acknowledgement.

• The ways he shows his affection– is simply with the small actions he does. Whether it's the smallest. Placing a hand on your back and rubbing it, making you link your arm in his, and other stuff.

• Also, Killua absolutely LOVES admiring your expression or your appearance in general. His favorite thing to constantly look at? Your eyes. He probably thinks it's super cliche, but; he's simply a sucker for em. He loves seeing your true feelings and the bright shine of your eyes, it makes him fall for you again and again.

• His favorite activities he loves doing with you is probably just to spend quality time. Walking around the forest, sitting around a bond fire with your group, and more. That's his ideal.

• While Killua isn't verbal about his affection, you can easily tell that this boy is deeply in love with you and your whole being.

⊹₊⋆ Gon Freecss !ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

• Gon is and would probably be the clingy type AT THE RIGHT TIME.

• He vocalizes his feelings a lot! Even an idiot would know that you're his beloved!

• "yn!! How're you doing?! Hope you're doing great!! I love you a bunch!" That's almost your wakeup call at this point.

• Pre-dating scenarios !!

• With how sweetly he treats other people in general, you assume that in a scenario where Gon is in a relationship he won't be that serious.

• But ohhh boy were you proved wrong when he confessed.

• "Did you know? I really like you. You're an amazing person.. You're super nice and everything, so uh.." He sheepishly confessed, rubbing his nape with a soft smile on his face.

• He seemed so genuine with his words, and we all know that Gon is honestly such a bad liar.

• Post Dating head canons !!

• my GOD does this boy give random trinkets.

• Oh he saw a flower while Killua and he was walking? Boom, flower crown. Oh he found a twig that formed into a heart shape? Boom it's in your possessions now.

• In contrast to everyone, Gon's super adventurous; his favorite activities he'd do with you is to travel around the world, a more realistic idea is travel to a place where you both haven't gone to yet.

• Gon isn't all that clingy as well, again– Gon is pretty clingy at the right time.

• The said "right time" is where he sees you after such a long time. Pulling you into a long and warm hug with hushed words of assurance from your tongue, Gon feels absolutely loved.

• He loves your whole being so much, he'll absolutely cherish every moment with you.

• His favorite thing about you isss I would say.. Your emotions, probably. Your emotions are his kinda! Seeing you down, he's also down. Seeing you happy brings a bright smile to his face, and he'll relish every happy moment with you.

• Gon will always and never forget to say a reminder that he'll forever love you to his heart's content. He'll never fail to voice his feelings, why would he? He knows you love him as well, and the affection he has for you is immeasurable.

༉‧₊˚. Kurapika Kurta !ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

• Ouu this guy.. He irritates me to no end.

• He is SO quiet with his feelings and he's so naturally distant, naturally you'd also distance yourself from him.

• Why would you even try?! Clearly, he's "uninterested" And wants to keep things casual. Of course, this pains you because you really want to take things higher.

• Months passed, he started growing busy with his job as a Bounty Hunter. You thought you could use this as an opportunity to move on!

• But y'know what they say. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

• Both sides missed each other dearly, with no one to chat with and share their inner feelings, yn soon grows lonely.

• With no one to listen to and have no company of the one he trusts the most, Kurapika grew regretful.

• When they both met again, Kurapika didn't hesitate to cup your hands ever so gently with a look of subtle desperation in his eyes.

• "yn.." He softly calls, his voice was like a thousand melodies that sang only for your ears to hear. His expression was so very vulnerable, it made you love him more.

• "I'm so sorry." He apologizes, removing his hands from yours and gently pulling you into a hug, placing a firm yet soft hand on your scalp and having an arm wrapped around your shoulder.

• Everything escalated from there, and in a hypothetical situation, you became a Bounty Hunter too! ( if you had no plans for the other Hunter titles )

• His favorite activities to do with you is to lounge around, read a book with your fingers intertwined and have you leaning on him for support.

• With you, Kurapika believes he can achieve the life he wants. After gathering the scarlet eyes of his clan.

• Kurapika's loyalty lies with you and no one else, rest assured. He can forever guarantee your safety if you're with him.

• Similarly to Killua, Kurapika isn't vocal about his affection. But he would whisper a soft "I love you." And a "I'm sorry I can't be there for you."

• Kurapika is known to be really distant, so you have to be patient with him. And he loves you so dearly. Imagine loving someone so hard to love? Kurapika believes he was truly blessed to have a significant other like you.

• His favorite thing about you is your voice, no doubt. He can listen to your emotions even when he has his eyes closed.

• Kurapika isn't one to trust easily, so seeing him close his eyes to listen to you?? It's an achievement. He's basically lowering his guard and trusting you with his life in a literal sense!

• Additionally, he loves watching you do your hobbies. The way your lips form into a smile filled with purity, the complete opposite of what he does. The way your laugh sounds like an elegant butterfly garden– it was a weird way to explain it. But in other words; ethereal.

• You'll forever, and I mean EVER be the love of his life, the light of his life, his everything. He'll sacrifice a lot for you, and that's a given.

⊹₊⋆ Leorio Paradinight !ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

• Ah, yes. This man.

• Low-key? Not in his vocabulary. He likes you? Oh it's painfully obvious– well I mean it's not like he's trying to hide it, really..

• It's amazing how you two clicked! Leorio with his very odd-feminist tendencies is... Eh.

• But hey! You two worked it up in the end, and he's madly in love with you. That's great, really!

• Leorio LOVES to flaunt you off. "Look at them! My gorgeous soul mate!" He exclaims with heart eyes, leaving you baffled at his volume and growing embarrassed at the amount of looks you're getting.

• Yeah! He always says an exaggerated "I love you!" In many instances, Leorio will alwayssss give you a lil smooch somewhere on the face.

• Honestly, Leorio isn't ashamed at all. Why would he? He'll freely show his affection to the one he views his soul mate– someone who is destined to be bound to each other.

• Despite Leorio's reputation, he's quite a gentleman. He's willing to sacrifice a lot of his time for you, and mind you– time is crucial for medic students.

• He respects your boundaries more than anyone else's. If he accidentally crosses the line with one of them, he'll give a genuine apology and makes it clear that those weren't his intentions at all.

• Leorio's favorite activity to do with you varies– he lovesss taking you out on small lil dates, like library dates to just sit in silence and bask in each other's presence, or an extraordinary one where he'll take you to a club and have fun.

• He ends up passing out drunk leaving you to take care of him and listen to his endless complaints the next morning– but he repays you by being extra nicer the next day.

• His favorite thing about you would be– well, your torso. NOT IN THAT WAY.

• It's simply his favorite because he can easily snake his arms around you despite your size.

• He's.. Well, clingy. He loves lovesss having his hands around you. He refuses to keep his hands to himself if you're around.

• But all in all, Leorio's a great person. He's willing to drop everything he has to heal you if you're in pain or try to find something for you. He's that committed, I promise.

༉‧₊˚. End !༉‧₊˚.

Thank you for reading ! This strictly belongs to me / killuakiru and I do not give permission for you to repost on other platforms, thank you !

[iz-star]

About Zayne's nightmares...

The most unrealistic thing about Zayne is that he's a functional working adult that seemingly has put his life together at 27 not because he's young or a prodigy but because he's said to have nightmares since he was 12?? Like... I feel like this theme might be a bit overlooked but just think about it deeply, having constant nightmares fucks your mind like really REALLY bad, I can genuinely say this by experience and also as someone who has had trouble to have a healthy sleeping schedule since I was at highschool (like, for example, right now, I should be sleeping instead of writing this...).

There was a time I would have nightmares almost everytime I went to sleep during a really hard time in my life. Of course, the topic about those nightmares was almost always the same, not like the nightmares repeated themselves but they always revolved about the same things that I was actually working in therapy at the moment. Back then I was jobless and medicated most part of the time, I was pretty dysfunctional.

I suppose that's why when I listened to "Fragmented Dreams" for the first time it was the time I said "Yeah, this is my man". I love how he's always nagging MC about sleeping early because I know by experience that not sleeping properly can mess up with your mind pretty bad, and probably he knows it too. It truly is a showcase of love how he worries about her sleep like that and it also showcases how strong minded he is for enduring too much stress and remind kind constantly.

I love how healthy he is. I like to think that he's overcome all the stressful stuff he's gone thru bc of his discipline and healthy life style, but realistically it would take him some more to deal with all of that.

Yes, all of the guys have been through some very rough stuff and they all need therapy, but my point with Zayne comes with the fact that not having a good sleeping schedule and on top of that having constant nightmares can mess up with your perception of reality and induce you a bad depression or other mental health issues. Everytime I remember Zayne's main story branch when they're trapped in Zayne's dream and MC leaves him alone and he starts listening to Willian, Georgie and his Mom so he has to remind himself "It's not real, it's not real" I deeply feel that and I just want to hug him so bad :(

I think I'd like to see a card where they explore the consecuences of their past in their psyche more deeply. I can't help remembering this post which was one of the first posts you unlock with Zayne:

It was there when I just knew that even if he looked quiet, he had a lot to say but didn't know how to express.

Another thing I'd like to highlight about this is that actually I love the emotional maturity that Zayne displays about dealing with such issues like nightmares, traumatic experiences and literally being exposed to see people dying 24/7 while being someone that feels a lot yet says little. He's dealt with this the best way he can, no wonder why he came to be quite serious and inexpressive or sarcastic. Not allowing himself to express other emotions than seriousness or sarcasm was like keeping himself in check so he wouldn't spill everything he feels and considering how stressing is his job already, it just makes sense, but that didn't mean Zayne didn't feel because he feels too much and too deeply and worries sick about ppl and especially about MC.

Of course, bottling up his emotions wasn't the best way to deal with them but he never used any unhealthy coping mechanism neither, like alcohol, for example (My teetotaler King ❤️) etc. Yeah, his workaholism isn't exactly healthy but not something toxic to his mind and relationships, and I've always had a feeling that he's a big foodie and addicted to sweets to give himself that boost of serotonine he needs so bad.

That's why he compares MC with sweets, being her his favorite dessert, bc she's brought all that serotonine to his life naturally and has helped him let go little by little. When he opened to her about losing Dulcie, I had a feeling that Zayne always wanted someone to listen to him but he didn't know how to ask for it and ppl around him was too afraid to even dare to suggest it. I think even in one of his anecdotes, it is said that sometimes Dr Noah wanted to tell him something but at the end ended up saying nothing.

The fact that Zayne bottled up his emotions didn't mean that he wouldn't willingly share them, he wanted to but wasn't used to it. With MC, he's slowy started to let it go and enjoy life more, allowing himself to be sad in front of her, to express his fears (about losing her) or to express his childish tantrums and indulge in his softest side. That's why also she's not only his favorite dessert but also his best painkiller ❤️

And just to finish, I've always thought this quote by Kafka fits him so well:

"Remember, you should sleep more than other people, for I sleep less than most. And I can’t think of a better place to store my unused share of universal sleep than in your beloved eyes."

[ecargmura]

Dandadan Episode 9 Review - Aliens And Nessie

TW: Nudity

I think ‘unhinged’ is the best word to describe Dandadan, especially with this episode. It’s a very wacky episode that involves a lot of Okarun butt shots, a cluster of enemies, and a lot of yellow and green filters (The green filter hurts my eyes). It’s crazy how we went from heartwrenching backstories to chaotic alien fights in a span of two episodes.

It was cool seeing what Aira can do now that she can transform using Acrobatic Silky’s powers. She’s flexible and agile. I love how she moves in battle and that she also uses her hair as a weapon in addition to her added flexibility. However, I do think that her biggest weakness is the fact that she lacks fighting experience. Okarun and Momo are able to fight easily as they’ve got so much experience, but this is Aira’s first fight against a paranormal creature, so she does get clobbered often. However, her debut fight is against multiple enemies rather than a singular one like before.

The fight with the enemies is very crazy. The Serpoians felt as if they got stronger. However, since they have a weakness in that they cannot fight when using their powers, that’s where their new hire, Mantis Shrimp (Is that his name?) comes in. I do like that the fights are a mix between serious and comedic without being too out of place and off-putting. The Mantis Shrimp alien is silly, but his punches are brutal. It was interesting that he also had a more grotesque form underneath, like the Serpoians. Though, can someone help me answer this question I have? During the part where Nessie arrived, did the Serpoian and Mantis Shrimp alien fuse with Nessie? If so, then Nessie was heavily underutilized as a villain as it got no character other than being a creature that fires green laser beams.

Now that the group is a trio, their dynamics became a lot more livelier and funnier. Momo and Aira have an antagonistic, vitriolic relationship with each other with the two getting on each other’s nerves. While Momo and Okarun bicker, they have a solid trust towards each other. I love how these two communicate in that Okarun wants to talk to Momo about the misunderstanding with Aira. These two trust each other to the point that Momo can use Okarun as some sort of jet ski. Okarun isn’t that tall, yet he can still have two girls around the same height on him.

I honestly love the animation for this fight, especially towards the end where the aliens fuse with Nessie. The way the camera angle rotates and spins was really good. I also liked the animation at the final bit where the gang return to the real world but naked. The way they ran is reminiscent of the floppy animated style from the first episode, which amps up the comedic aspect of it. Aira running like a Titan in Attack on Titan was hilarious (also hilarious given that her VA Ayane Sakura and Okarun’s VA Natsuki Hanae were in that show as Gaby and Falco)

Speaking of which, I remember that there was an outrage regarding the final scene because one Anituber posted a picture of the scene in the manga when the anime first aired with the intent of being anticipated for how people, fans and anime-only viewers, would few the scene, but it went viral for negative reasons, which led to the anituber getting doxxed. I didn’t think too much of that panel at the time since I’m already used to crude shounen humor, but doxxing someone over manga panels is never an okay thing to do. When I looked at this scene in the anime, I just thought “very shounen humor” and that was it. I think the outrage was mainly due to how sensitive people are towards media these days. All I can say on the matter is that I hope that humanity can change back into the days where people could differentiate fiction from reality.

Since there are twelve episodes, this means that there are three more episodes left. I wonder what’s left for the rest of the story. I think the red-haired boy has yet to show up, so I assume the last few episodes will revolve around him? I’m also curious about the event so fate next episode as a cow gets abducted by a UFO. What are your thoughts on the episode as a whole?

[hsfavoriteworlds]

Hi! Please allow me to hijack ur post real quick because I'm one of the people who posted this and i wanted to elaborate on my pov

I am a gmmtv girlie and I almost religiously (HA!) tune in to all their shows. I wouldn't condemn them or drag them for shits and giggles. I'm just a bit apprehensive with this particular show bec of the subject matter. And it's not that I doubt backaof's ability to handle it (this man gave us two of my fav shows ever: bb and atots-- he did disappoint me with LT and unfortunately in a way that ruined my experience forever with it but i digress). However, all i fear is that gmmtv sometimes avoid going "too serious" in their shows and backtrack on their original message. They have this tendency to lean into comedy to break up heavy moments, and while that can work, it also sometimes causes a bit of tonal dissonance when it's overdone, especially (I'm assuming here) in a show like ticket to heaven. On top of that, they’ve struggled lately to really stick the landing on some shows. It doesn’t ruin the entire story for me, but it does affect my overall enjoyment, even if I still hold the show close to my heart afterward. But with a show like ticket to heaven, it can go really bad real quick.

That said, I'm not out here hating on ALL their shows or claiming they can't be trusted because they lean towards fluff or aren't always "serious" or angsty. 😭 I am a proud fluff lover (I would defend We Are with my life). It goes without saying that fluff doesn’t mean they can’t handle serious topics, and it's definitely not a reason to underestimate gmmtv and what they've done for the bl genre overall.

But again, it’s not all black and white. Loving gmmtv/backaof doesn’t mean I have to withhold all criticism just because they’ve made so many of my favorite shows. I’ll still wait, watch, and form my own judgement (albeit I'm not very hard to please to begin with lmao). And i am still so excited for ticket to heaven and a lot of their other upcoming shows

‘can we trust gmmtv with ticket to heaven’ idk can we stop acting like gmmtv has never made anything worth watching

[killualoverr]

hello lovely!!!!! i made a request a little bit ago but i saw your post saying they all disappeared so i’ll ask again!! (if that’s okay of course!) i was wondering if you could maybe do killua with reader who is super smart (like eidetic memory super high IQ genius) but who is somehow still situationally and socially dumb?? sorry if this doesn’t make sense 😭 (something i was thinking of is reader getting caught up in a telephone wire while trying to talk to gon or something like that) have a good day!!!

₊ ☆ ‧₊˚ → killua x reader hcs!

cw: none

a/n: hihi dear anon!! this request is so me 😭 thank you for requesting again, i hope this is to your liking :3!!

- oh god

- i feel like he’s more.. like weirded out instead of mad because he’s seen what you’re capable of

- specially if you’re physically strong too

- like how can you take down an army of FULL GROWN MEN that are TWICE YOUR SIZE without breaking a sweat and the next thing he knows you’re trying to pull a push door

- so when you trip and fall, or miss yet another social cue, or can’t grasp a situation immediately..

- he’s js like “are you serious right now” and stares at you with a deadpan expression before helping you up or explaining

- after a while of being friends, he kinda just got used to the fact that even though you’re basically a genius you’re going to manage to trip on every obstacle in your way

- the longer you guys are friends the less second hand embarrassment exists to him because everyone around him is also used to it 😭😭

- you’re constantly being called idiot/stupid by him

[homagetohers]

Video Games

pairings: Josh Washington x F!Reader, Chris Hartley x Ashley Brown (Until Dawn) type: fluff, too deep into the friendship, mutual pining, subtle flirting summary: Josh and Chris have gaming nights as the only 'geeks' in the group. Chris and Ashley got together and she found out of this 'secret'. Since they knew nobody else would be interested they didn't invite anyone and they knew nobody would care for it regardless. Ashley tells you about it and you join Chris's party and surprising them both. AU: sister's never disappeared, all of them are university students now too. vibes intended: cherry flavored - The Neighbourhood (I personally listen to Odetari when playing competitive games such as Overwatch which will be reference to the video game they'll be playing.) for the best experience: unfortunately we lost interactivefics, but there's another chrome extension called word replacer II; I recommend using it to have this be read in the way it was intended. I will have this on my masterlist at some point, but for now this'll be a disclaimer on every post I make. I hear when people say it breaks the immersion when using y/n and such, but I use the extension above and it gets me more excited to read. hopefully, with this, people can enjoy this piece of work and other y/n works. (i can also make a you / y/n-less version, but i just prefer seeing my name for DR purposes) word count: 2944 part 1 | part 2 | part 3

Chris booted up his computer to get into his and Josh's untimely tradition of playing video games until dawn. Their current fixation stands tall to be a five versus five shooter with each character having unique abilities and are divided into three ranks. Each team has one tank, two damage dealers, and two supports. Chris is a serious tank main while his main damage dealer teammate would be Josh. Josh may sometimes switch it up by taking up the other roles, but it was clear which one was his favorite.

Chris's phone buzzed; the screen lit up to reveal a new-found message from his gaming buddy, Josh. The chat log reads:

Josh: still up for the matches? Chris: yeah im just turning the game on Josh: ok cool i thought maybe bc ash was with u you'd forget Chris: nah bro we had a plan ill stick to it Josh: that tight bod bro, bro we're gonna lose u to it Chris: i dont have a raging libido like u josh Josh: u wound me

As soon as the game loaded up, an invite from Josh immediately popped up on the top part of the screen. He accepted and as soon as the voice chat system on the game connected he could hear screaming on the other side: "YEEEEEEAAAH!" Their names pop up on the left side corner of the screen with a speaker graphic to symbolize them speaking.

Chris's expression turned quizzical, "Josh?" the username 'c0destopher' perked up on the screen while the username 'washingmachine' never left.

Josh, still excited for having his winding down time, kept going. "We're finally doing this since we've been buried under exams. They're OVER! Let's get this party started!"

Josh chose the role queue option which allows players to pick their ranks ahead of time which ensures better play experience as everyone enters the match knowing what they want is given. Chris, without taking much time confirmed only tank. Josh decided on all roles, and since Chris was only tank, he only had the chance to be a damage dealer or support.

Chris's door swings open. Ashley, who was too engrossed in her phone, began to speak. "Hey Chris, I'm going out to the store to get something I'd need for the-" She looks up to realize the dark atmosphere with his computer screaming RGB lights that lit the room in an unnatural way. "You playing with Josh?"

His heart sank from her sudden entrance, but regained his composure. "Yeah Ash, he could still hear us if you wanna say hi." Ashley took him up on his offer and took the headphones off of Chris. She held one ear pad up to her ear to not ruin her hair, but still be able to hear Josh.

Ashley smiled as he greeted her. "What's up Josh?" Chris couldn't actually hear what Josh was telling her, the muffled sounds were whisked away by his thoughts overwhelming him. It'd only been a while back he confessed to Ashley and she excitedly accepted to be his girlfriend. It still feels surreal to him. She tucked her hair behind the free ear and began speaking once more.

"That's good, I'm well. You do this often?" Her eyes looked up unintentionally, as to focus on the conversation. She slightly nods her head from time to time.

She tilted her head and hummed before speaking. "Well, I just wanted to see if Chris wanted anything from the store." Chris's eyes were locked onto her facial features, the way she moved, and her cute mannerisms when she's talking to somebody on the phone.

She keeps nodding out of nowhere and he could hear Josh stopping to allow her to speak. "Oh! I'm getting some stuff I need for my hair, and also some snacks. I forgot some things I needed."

Josh's muffled voice perked up and Chris could hear him going on about the match about to begin. Ashley responds immediately. "The game's starting? I'll get you back to Chris." She places the headphones back on for him, trying her best not to hurt him. The character selection screen opens, but Chris looks back at Ashley as she leaves the room.

Before she closes the door after herself, she peered into the room once more. "I’ll get you some snacks, anything else?" He nods sweetly to her and she smiles and closes the door.

She got her coat from the hanger and wore it. With her purse on her shoulder, Ashley left the apartment and locked the door behind her. She placed her key in her purse, and took out her phone from her pocket. She messaged y/n asking to call her.

A few moments later, her phone rang to see a call premeditated by her own message asking for it. “You won’t believe what I just saw!” Ashley giddly spoke to the phone. She pressed the button to the elevator to signal it to open on her floor.

Her friend responded on the other side. “What happened?”

“I just saw Chris and Josh playing the game you like! This is your moment! Surprise them and join them!”

y/n audibly gasped. “What?! They used to bully me about it all the time!”

y/n continued on, this time mocking Josh’s words to her when talking about the game she liked. “Call Of Duty is the better of the competitive games and not that hero rainbow bullshit!” Her voice went sarcastically deeper and had a few ‘blah blah blah’s splattered around it.

Ashley left the elevator to walk outside. The wind gushing through her as she left the complex. “I know! That’s why I got so shocked, I thought you’d love to know that they got into it so you could tease back. Especially, Josh. I didn’t show that I cared too much so they wouldn’t suspect a thing!”

She took some time to think it through before responding. “I don’t think I should even if I want to show them for teasing me and then playing it. If I wasn’t invited then it’d look bad on me to join their group.”

“Oh come on, y/n. We both know they wouldn’t mind you playing, they didn’t invite you because it’d look badly on them for teasing you about the same game they got themselves into. I even got Chris’s username memorized for you.”

y/n relented and gave in to Ashley’s plan. “Alright why not. I’m down to cause a little bit of chaos.”

“I’ll send you everything right now.” Ashley closed the phone and looked ahead of her to cross the street. She arrived at the grocery store and went inside to escape the cold. Once inside, she opened her phone once more. Ashley spilled out everything she remembered, hoping it’d suffice.

Ashley: c0destopher#5576 y/n: thats actually so geeky Ashley: i know its so stupid y/n: birds of a feather, your username on goodreads reminds me of the one he has on the game Ashley: dont compare me to that when im doing u a favor to get closer to josh y/n: aye aye captain y/n: i friend requested him Ashley: im sure he accepts everyone y/n: and that u are right ab bc he accepted me right away Ashley: ok ill go focus on doing what i have to do update me whenever ill read when i can y/n: okay thanks ash i will let u know how it goes, stay safe

She booted up the game as she friend requested him on the mobile app. Unsurprisingly on Chris's account, it shows a new button: 'join group' and y/n had a long and hard moment of clarity set in that she's going to have to face Josh if she entered. Her face felt warmer, not that they were anything special, but he was special. She regretted relenting to Ashley's plans due to the trouble she went through getting the information to her.

She took a deep breath and entered their group. The bottom left corner displays a party chat message: unforgettable has joined the group.

Josh, not realizing the message, spoke up. "Yeah I think out of the group, y/n stands out the most, you know? The only person that has playful banter back towards me within the group from the girls. Jess and Em both would do the same, but they're too into their boyfriends so they act like they're untouchable. Sam likes to ensure I wouldn't get hurt which is sweet, but it ruins the fun. Like you could tell she's holding back for my sake."

She, who obviously entered a conversation which shouldn't be privy to her, shoved a palm onto her mic to mute it which showed her name with the speaker graphic. She didn't waste time in messaging Ashley.

y/n: I dun goofed. Ashley: what?

Chris realized first that a message showed up in their party chat that isn't accounted for and the voice chat had a third person suddenly. "Wait who is that?" She could see him using his charge attack to stun his enemy into a wall to kill them. When a friend joins a party in an ongoing game, the leftover friend spectates the match. The chat still open on her phone, y/n stayed quiet to just see the chaos begin to brew and to text Ash.

y/n: I seriously fucked up. Ashley: you gotta explain EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!

Josh took a look and was at a loss. "I dunno. Did you invite them?" Josh was playing a character with double shotguns, and his character needed to creep near enemies to deal serious damage. Typical shotguns.

y/n: he didn't realize i heard him neither of them did?????? Ashley: STOP BEING CRYPTIC WHATS GOING ON??????

"No, did you?" Chris, even if nobody could see, shook his head due to habit. His character slashed his hammer at the enemy tank, dealing some okay output, but the reason for this is to create space for his team to do the damage. She realized this quite quickly.

y/n: WELL i listened to u and joined them and i joined them as josh was talking about the girls and he spoke about me saying i was the only one that stood out to him between all the girls since i give and take in his banter with us. Ashley: OMG? THEN WHAT?

Josh answered his question and was about to say something else, "no," but Chris remembered something.

y/n: heres where i fucked up, yk my mic has an external mute button where placing a palm on it would mute? Ashley: yeah so?

He spoke up. "Oh! They added me a few minutes back and I accepted." Score, he remembered her, but didn't realize who she was. She thought to herself. Josh was getting ready to use his 'ultimate' ability since he charged it to the max. y/n got more focused into the conversation with Ashley that her fingers were going to reach the speed of light.

y/n: well i kinda sorta fucked up by being so nervous after i heard what i heard that i literally kind of slapped the top part where the palm was supposed to go and they heard it and realized i was there Ashley: GIRL WHAT SO THEY DIDNT REALZE YOU HEARD THEM OHMYGDOS???? y/n: YUP IMAGINE WHAT THE HELL? Ashley: SO CHRIS KNOWS THIS ENTIRE TIME THAT JOSH THINKS YOIURE SPECIAL NAND NEVER TOLD ME? THE AUDAXITY OF THAT MAN y/n: WHAT LOL?

Josh chuckled a bit. "Why do you accept randos?" He hid on the roof of a high building on the map, then jumped down and used his ability which sent bullets in a good radius in a circular motion, killing three members of the enemy team. He was shot in the head by the enemy sniper after, and thought for a second as he respawned in game. "Kick them out?"

y/n: HES TELLING CHRIS TO KICK ME OUT Ashley: NONONONO ITS GETTING GOOD

Chris didn't skip a beat. "Sure alright."

y/n: YOUR BOYFRIENDS A BASTARD HE SAID SURE TO KICKING ME?? Ashley: SAY SOMETHING OF COURSE THEY DON'T KNOW ITS YOU y/n: OK GTG BGYE

Ashley was right. y/n had to speak up now or forever hold her peace. "WAITWAITWAIT! It's just me." She peeped as if she was a criminal, but all she did was join her friends.

Josh perked up, things were getting interesting. "y/n?"

"The one and only." Her voice getting a little more confident over time.

Chris was absolutely on edge. "How'd you get my username? What? We hid this from you for months!"

"I know! Ash told me about you guys playing. How about Call of Duty being the best game on the market for these types of games?"

Chris got defensive, he didn't belittle her for her choice of games. "Hey, I didn't say that." If anything, Chris sees himself as the most understanding in that aspect. All games could be fun if done right and with the right people.

Josh, sounding sarcastically defeated, sounded like he was raising his hands to surrender himself to y/n's beck and call. "I didn't think the game would be this addictive!"

"I'm officially inviting myself to join you." She continued, she liked how she got Josh back for belittling her.

They could hear the smile come up his face. "Our group is yours, y/n." Josh said.

Chris knew exactly what he was doing. "You couldn't have come at a better time, y/n, we were just talking about romance." He was hoping Josh would take the reins to say something witty.

She raised an eyebrow and smirked against the screen. "Romance, huh? Tell me about it, Josh. We're all friends, right?"

Josh quickly regained his composure after Chris kind of just outed him. "Chris is overdramatizing it. We were just talking about the group and our opinions on everyone."

"Yeah, right." Chris rolled his eyes.

Josh also rolled his eyes at him, he knew he was going to get him for this later. She spoke up which redirected them both back to the conversation. "Oh? What're his opinions Chris?"

Chris spoke up. "I can't share on behalf of somebody else, dear lady."

"Josh?" y/n called out into the cyber void that is their online voice chat. Their game has finally ended now, they queued up for another match where y/n also chose all roles like Josh.

The queue waiting time has begun, and Josh sighed; unsure if he should reveal the truth, but he did anyway. He didn't understand why he wanted to be honest with her even if he could've easily lied. "I was just saying how Emily and Jessica create barriers with the guys after getting boyfriends, it's not the same as before."

y/n nodded. "Mhm... And Ash and Sam?" She heard this story before, but to avoid suspicion, she decided to ask and follow what Chris might've set up.

Josh continued, the conversation being tame enough for him to ride the wave without falling off the board or having to admit something that was specifically between him and Chris. "Sam is a pacifist, we all know that, and Ash could be talked about by Chris for days."

"And..." She trailed off at first, but his words gave her confidence. He already admitted to her unintentionally and that's all she needed.

y/n thought she was being smart about it to get him to confess. "Me?" She would never admit that she heard him though, never, ever.

Josh chuckled and began to tease her. "Couldn't get to you until you rudely interrupted our conversation." Chris chuckled at the banter, knowing that was a complete lie. Josh didn't react to sound as honest as possible.

y/n bought it to keep face. "Uh huh, nice one, Mr. Washington. What a coincidence."

Josh returned. "Yup."

"A quinky-dink." y/n continued.

Josh replied, once more. "Mhm." Chris kept holding in a laugh at the awkward yet funny atmosphere that surrounded them, even if it meant he was the third wheel. y/n sent Josh a friend request ingame, which he promptly accepted.

A match started which changed the topic.

Josh directed his attention to his new friend's banner which would show her selection when she chose. "I never asked you who you played."

She sat deciding what support character she should choose. "Me?"

Josh took a second to try to understand her thought process when asking that. "I mean I play with Chris, I know who he plays."

She realizes her stupidity at this moment in time, but played it off cool. "Right...! I play everything including tank, but it seems like Chris takes the cake for that. I play whatever the team needs."

"Nice. Yeah, Chris likes playing tank." Josh slightly smiles at her comment. "Seems like you'll support our team, what shall you pick, madam?"

"I like playing based on the team when I'm support. I'll see what everyone else picks to best help the team with my choice of character."

Chris always keeps his number one choice unless the other team counters him. Where they'd play a character that makes his own completely useless. "I already know what I'm choosing."

"I'll play this guy this time." Josh decides to try the soldier.

"I see, if you play that then..." She chooses the damage boosting support and their teammate picks a main healer to focus on keeping everybody's health satiated.

Josh smugly replied to her action. "I think I see where this is going..."

y/n rolled her eyes behind the screen. "Not that I have any faith in you, but your ultimate that 100% doesn't miss, would need this to change the tides."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say."

hi everyone! i hope u enjoyed what you've read. i do wanna continue it, but im a bit busy and got too excited to keep it in the drafts, i want it to eventually end with one of them realizing their likeness towards one another. i usually do write longer chapters, 5k-10k, but i have a midterm tomorrow and i couldn't stop myself from writing something. comments, likes, and everything else is appreciated for ur friendly neighborhood budding writer. took about 2 hours to write this.

[hispanthicc]

Sex As A Guy Who Got Fat On Purpose

I like sex. I enjoy sex a lot. I haven't always "gotten off" during sex but that wasn't really a priority for me because I just liked the act of doing it. I think mostly I enjoyed getting my partner off. I used to have a lot of sex, or at least a lot in comparison to now, but since i've gained weight I haven't had much sex or any at all really.

I didn't realize how much this lack of sex was affecting me. I think having sex and being able to find people to have sex with me made me feel attractive. So the lack of it has made me feel unattractive, at least to locals. Online people seem to still find me attractive. I know that just because I haven't had it doesn't mean that I am unattractive. I know there are also a lot of factors that play into it. Anyways I went from having it regularly to not having it at all.

Gaining is hard for me so for the first few years of me trying to get fat on purpose I was basically just skinny, toned, and had a slightly rounded tummy which would completely disappear if I flexed. I could pass as skinny for a while. Then COVID hit and my physical activity levels became non existent. I very quickly went from being stuck at 130 lbs all the way to 220 lbs at my highest during 2020-2021. I also had a serious surgery which meant I couldn't do anything for about a year. So I got pretty chunky for a bit. then I lost like 40 lbs after going through a break up. which btw was not a sexual relationship, and I think that also affected me a lot in a negative way. Especially because of some of the things he said in the end which made me feel really unattractive.

I'm not really the type of guy that chases anyone or initiates anything and this has nothing to do with my weight because i've never pursued anyone that isn't already pursuing me. I am really shy and the very few times i've tried, i've been rejected. So I don't. This usually just leads to me talking to a bunch of guys that i'm not attracted to which definitely doesn't lead to sex.

I used to be really open sexually. i've found thing i've written and posted from years ago that I would probably be too shy or too embarrassed to say now. But being with my ex he kinda made me feel a lot of shame for the things that I liked sexually or was attracted to. Since then I find it hard to connect with people sexually.

I think i'm also afraid that if I am too open sexually it'll attract the wrong kinds of people, which is something I unfortunately have experience with.

Most of the guys that are attracted to me are usually not locals and unfortunately means that a lot of the communication is all talk. They usually want me to send nudes or they want to send me nudes and sometimes looking is nice but I am not always in the mood to take pics for someone especially when they're probably just gonna disappear when they cum. Online sexual communication doesn't really do it for me. I want it in real life, the online barrier is frustrating and it honestly feels no different than jerking off to porn, which is fine but the real thing is so much better. There seems to be a lack of a real personal connection with it and it feels like i'm like mentally turned off by it. I never ask for nudes because I don't want anyone asking me for nudes. I genuinely hate when I’m talking to someone and they're so nice at first and then they say "Can I see more of you" because then it feels like they didn't mean any of the compliments they were just trying to soften me up to get nudes out of me. I usually only send stuff like that to friends.

It also seems like guys are more focused on what they want instead of what I want and many of them say things like "I want to do this to you" and never "would you like it if I did this to you" which maybe isn't that big of a deal but it comes across as less caring,

I don't know how I appear to others but I would say currently I look pretty chubby all over and I don't think I would be mistaken for skinny even when I suck in. Sometimes I shock myself when I see my reflection or see a pic someone else took. My body is bigger all over and it's still very new to me to actually be a fat guy. I like the way I look and I like the way being fat feels. I feel sexually aroused by it and I keep trying to make myself bigger and bigger but I know that isn't a common thing for people to be into IRL. So it's kinda like "do I lose weight so that I can be physically appealing enough to have sex irl" or do I just keep gaining cuz it makes me happier in general even if it is killing my sex life. I also think about how a lot of people in the gainer community are Asexual-ish or their sexuality is so tied to the fat that if I did lose weight i'd probably lose the affection of those people too. So many times I see "so-and-so lost weight and now I’m not attracted to them anymore" which is extremely hurtful even if it doesn't apply to me at the moment.

I wish I wasn't so shy but I’m not sure that it would matter. I feel like everyone has an idea of what they want in a partner (sexually or romantically) and I’m not sure that I fit, no pun intended, what people want where I live, and I hate knowing that eventually i'll probably have to move just to find someone.

I also know that my tragic dating life and non existent sex life are my fault. I'm not an easy person to get close to or be with but I’m trying to learn how let people in and be the best I can be for someone whenever I do actually connect.

[rolandkaros]

some thoughts on doping

people (fans, players, etc.) who complain about special treatment for top players need to deep the fact that the qualms they have with the way that jannik and iga's cases were treated are barely related to the actual cases at hand and more to do with the fact that they believe others have been hard done by harsher treatment. which is an important complaint to verbalize, but directing that frustration at the players you believe are getting "special treatment" is part of what allows that unfairness to continue, because nobody is calling out the root of the problem which comes directly from the organizations in charge of actually managing these cases.

inevitably world #1s will have the money, resources, team, etc. to find the source of the positive test, to justify themselves, to prove their innocence, etc. and while i completely understand the frustration that not everyone has those resources i also don't believe there's any reason for somebody to not use such resources if they have them at their disposal.

so yes, i think it's fair to push for more player support within the realm of doping, but acting as though jannik or iga have done something wrong for utilizing the tools they had is kind of comical to me.

and there's the other side of the coin, wherein these people truly believe these associations are actively covering for guilty players. which brings me to another important point that a complete disbelief in the integrity of the system does absolutely nothing unless it is acted upon. which is to say, if you truly believe that jannik and iga were guilty of doping and the "special treatment" you mention is implying that the atp or wta or itia or wada covered for them, that is a very serious accusation which undermines the integrity of the sport of tennis as a whole. that may sound melodramatic, but i truly think that if you believe these associations are corrupt when it comes to doping (as proposals of "special treatment" in the case of guilt would suggest), i believe you are obligated to advocate against it in a much more substantial way than posting about it on social media. it would be concerning to me if people truly had zero trust for the integrity of organizations like wada and the itia, but continued to consume the sport without raising a question...until a player they don't like gets a positive test.

in all honestly, i don't like how either of the cases were handled. i have problems with both. but i also know that in both cases, they were cleared with no significant fault or negligence as the final verdict (i know wada stepped in with jannik but that's still up in the air so for now i'm disregarding that). i have no reason (or desire) to believe either of them intentionally doped. i do think the main reason they were able to "wrap-up" their cases as quickly and efficiently as they did was due in part to their statuses as top level players. but i don't believe that the verdict was subjectively dependent on it. and i can disagree with how the cases were handled, AND i can say that i think all players deserve better treatment in these processes, AND i can still maintain that i trust the verdict of both cases.

shifting focus slightly, i do think there's a reality where organizations like the atp and wta are self-serving. and it sounds really harsh and unsympathetic, but it also makes sense. the atp and wta have responsibilities as associations to promote tennis, to protect it not only as a sport but also as a brand. the atp spent the entire first half of this year basically promoting jannik as the second coming of christ: obviously they're going to shit their pants when they find out about a positive doping test. it's in their best interest to do everything they can to preserve their own image, to only release such information if they had been completely sure of his guilt. and likewise, it was in their best interest to keep that information quiet even once his innocence was ruled. i'll say myself: it didn't feel right to me that it was kept quiet as long as it was. i do think that, once a case has been handled, it should still be released as public information. but i understand why the atp didn't want to release the information, and i understand why they might not care as much if it was someone ranked outside the top 100 or someone who's never won a tour-level tournament. like i said, it sounds harsh and unsympathetic, but that's business. i don't think it's just but i do think it makes sense.

iga getting a split ban is another example of this. granted, i don't know exactly who decides how punishments are implemented, so it's possible that the wta had no involvement this, but i don't think it was coincidental that the split ban allowed her to play at the finals and bjkc. it makes sense for the wta as a brand and an organization to advocate for her to be able to play those events. [VERY IMPORTANT EDIT: not going to delete what i already said for the sake of transparency, but i've been told that this actually was completely coincidental. a player can return to tour after a provisional suspension as soon as they submit an appeal. so iga was suspended, submitted the appeal, returned to play the finals & bjkc, and then was given a one month ban. the provisional suspension also counted towards the ban.] equally, it makes sense for them to release a statement supporting her, even though they are meant to be unbiased.

so it's not fair. it's not just. but it's not a problem with the integrity of the players, it's a problem with whole procedure. but i think too many people are quick to jump at players like iga and jannik, who yes, got off pretty easy, over something which ultimately has very little to do with them. they showcase the symptoms of underlying problems, but they are not the cause of those problems themselves. and people who rush to blame them need to either evaluate the true source and target of that anger, or they need to have a very real conversation about their trust in organizations such as wada and the itia which truly are meant to be just and fair, without awarding that same trust to organizations like the atp and wta whose concerns are far less objective.

[satsuha]

since sbd asked about your top 5 aa lines now may i ask for a nahyuta version. top 5 lines of him that you like/remember the most

somewhat unsurprisingly most of my favourite lines are from 6-5 so i just put them in chronological order

sorry but i think about this exchange all the time . nahyuta you have too much faith in the judge

THIS.... this line made my jaw drop when i saw it like i can forgive the game constantly showing you the flashback of dhurke saving nahyuta and apollo from the river if it was just for this moment... dhurke and nahyuta is such a subdued relationship that we don't get to see a lot of but this one line really makes me go augh.....

first of all i just really like this sprite and it looks nice seeing it up front () but ough from the perspective of this moment nahyuta has lost his father and possibly his mother as well... given how drastic the stakes were (the moment when ga'ran's guards are pointing guns at them) i think it's a nice moment that shows how apollo was able to deal the final blow to overthrow ga'ran while nahyuta couldn't... even if he was already determined to rejoin the rebellion before this part i think his self-sacrificial nature just kicked in again and he couldn't bear to see apollo leave him first...

look. look the dhurke-nahyuta-apollo relationship makes me crazy and i feel like it all culminated in this moment... i don't agree with the idea that dhurke always cared about apollo more i just think that apollo took after dhurke more than nahyuta did but nahyuta who resembles his mother more was always going to be the matching counterpart... they're both his sons anyway and i just think it's nice that they're able to work together on this o<-< with aa6 being a sequel it's obvious that nahyuta and the whole khura'in storyline was built around apollo but it's still just nice... that he has a role here that only he can fill. i've said it before but i really like this ending for apollo. also same with the line above but seeing nahyuta finally be able to be so forthright with his feelings is so. orz

yeah i removed one line in the middle but this part is also just so funny to me specifically the last line where he uses that (holding tattooed hand all angst-y) sprite LIKE IS IT REALLY THAT SERIOUS YUTY... (it is) but like i said in a previous post i think it's kinda genius that the english localization went with this nickname considering rayfa's nicknames for phoenix and apollo are straight from the japanese while nahyuta's comes from the word for brother... it actually flows better in english it's quite satisfying

[five-and-dimes]

Rating: Mature Status: Incomplete Chapters: 2/8 Words: 5,932/???? Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Additional Tags: Post-Inception, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Inception Fusion, Crossover, Lucid Dreaming, Dreamsharing, pasiv, Trans Ariadne (Inception), Heist, Forging (Inception), Missions Gone Wrong, Hob Gadling accidentally help frees Dream of the Endless, BAMF Hob Gadling, dream suicide of background character, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

It was supposed to be a simple job. All they had to do was enter Alexander Burgess’s dreams and convince him to go away with his lover Paul and leave behind Fawney Rig for good. Simpler than Inception. Safer than Extraction.

Yet when Hob Gadling and Arthur Freeman get inside the head of their mark, they realize that not everything is as it seems. Alexander Burgess is hiding a much darker secret, one that is deeply hidden within the basement not just at Fawney Rig, but also inside of Alex’s mind. And Paul refuses to tell them what it is.

Or: What happens when Dream is set free after a hundred years and he discovers that humans have created the technology to infiltrate dreams?

(A collaboration fic between myself and the amazing @seiya-starsniper for the @sandman-connect4 challenge!)

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“The mark’s name,” Arthur says, tossing the file on the table in front of Hob, “is Alexander Burgess.”

Hob raises an eyebrow at the case file, then turns his gaze back to Arthur. Arthur stares back down at Hob expectantly, his perfectly slicked back dark brown hair glinting in the sunlight of the Mexican sun. He’s blocking Hob’s sunlight and doesn’t even care. Bastard.

It’s tense between them for just a moment longer before Hob sighs, sitting up from his comfortable position on the cabana lounge chair and reaching over to pick up the folder. It’s a thick file, which means there’s a lot of dirt on the man, and a lot of people Hob may need to impersonate. Hob vaguely remembers the name Burgess from the early 1900s. Likely the man Hob had known was Alexander’s father, or grandfather even. The centuries tended to blend together after a while.

“You couldn’t have waited until after my vacation?” Hob asks as he takes another sip of his pina colada, trying to put off having to open the file for a little bit longer. He’s trying to sound annoyed, but in reality he’d been feeling restless lately. Hob had never been the type of man to just sit around aimlessly for long.  

“Can’t wait,” Arthur responds, with a small wry smile. He sees right through Hob’s bluff, damn him. “The client’s in a hurry and paying our team triple our fee to get started right away.”

Hob whistles, his interest thoroughly piqued, then finally opens up the folder.

Alexander Burgess is old. Older than Hob expected him to be really. It suddenly makes sense why the client was in a hurry. Whatever decision they needed the old man to make needed to be done quickly.

“You sure this man’s not gonna die on us mid-mission?” Hob asks dubiously. He and Arthur had only been in a dying man’s dreamscape once, and the man had died while they were on their case. Hob really didn’t care to repeat the experience. 

“He won’t,” Arthur responds. “He’s ancient, but healthy.” Hob holds back a laugh, but can’t help the snort that comes out instead. Compared to Hob, Alexander Burgess was a baby. Hob was the one who was ancient, and they both knew it. 

“His lover, Paul, will be helping us with setting up the whole thing too,” Arthur continues, his tone still serious but his eyes betray their amusement. “He’ll monitor the mark’s vitals day to day and clear him for each session before we take him under.”

“So the client’s his lover, then?” Hob asks, as he thumbs through the file, reading up on Alexander Burgess’s life history. It wouldn’t be too hard to imitate most of the people on the list Arthur provided, and it certainly helped that he’d have direct access to Paul, the most important part Hob would have to play, to study.

Arthur hums in agreement, then sighs. “Apparently he’s been trying to get Alex to move out of his father’s manor for the better part of their marriage,” Arthur says. “They’re old men now, and Paul is desperate not to die in that manor.  He says it’s haunted by demons or something, I don’t know. Seems like a superstitious kind of guy.”

“Well based on this, he has a right to be. Looks like old Roddy Burgess was a famous occultist back in the day,” Hob says, memories flowing back to him in bits and pieces. He’d definitely been to one of Burgess’s parties back in the day, come to think of it.

Arthur chuckles. “For all the good that studying in black magic did him,” he replies. “Didn’t save him from tripping and falling down the stairs of his own basement that’s for sure.”

“Are we sure he just fell?” Hob asks, feeling dubious. “Or maybe—Alex’s dirty little secret is that he pushed his daddy down the stairs, and that’s why he doesn’t want to leave.”

“Well that’s what we’re gonna find out,” Arthur replies with a grin. “And then we’re going to make sure he gets the fuck out of dodge and rides off into the sunset with his husband.”

Hob hums. “Fine. When do we start?”

“Tomorrow.”

(Continue on AO3)

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.