#(also posting about this bc while I wanna do things— I don’t feel like being on my laptop to write— and head is lowkey empty anyways—)
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so freaking stuck on mirrorverse it’s not even funny. someone anyone save me arghhh
#random#venty tag essay#literally though I think I’m stuck bc nobody’s said anything in the discord thread where I’m writing it (except for me) in like a week#maybe two#and that is always both worrisome/stressful/anxiety inducing/scary#and causes me to get stuck on it#anyways I don’t know why I’m posting this but I haven’t written a word on mirrorverse in two days and that makes me feel unhappy#“want to write this specific thing but don’t have anything to say and don’t know what to write” is the worst mood#just wanna feel like my stories matter to someone who isn’t me and mirrorverse means the most to me#while also being the one thing nobody else ever seems to care about#(actually most of my aus nobody ever seems to care about but mirrorverse is the one that hurts most to think that bc the others are shorter#(or rather. the others are completed and I only talk about them when they’re complete/at a stopping pt. mirrorverse isn’t so it feels worse#cause nobody cares when I do talk abt it)#murderbot mirrorverse
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Love posting my Spotify receipts for the month bc you can always tell when I’ve had smth big to write for one of my classes bc the one Jash song (Dream (Outro from Calamity)) will make the receipt. I did not end up a Jashinator but I do like having a song I can rely on to make me write things.
#rian’s slay compilation#the first time I heard the song I was in a mood all da time so I really identified it w what splitting felt like#idk it doesn’t hit as much now bc I’ve undergone a different sort of mental illness lately (more tired than actively harmful to myself)#^it’s the way it picks up in intensity. that’s what it feels like when you try to communicate how smth feels but they don’t listen and then#go have fun at a concert and you feel so nauseous that you have to leave a shared group chat while you sob your eyes out for several hours.#y’know? anyway June/July was fun. I need four hours of build daily to keep me occupied (tired). it does actually do me wonders.#I’m so big and strong now. idk how big you are my lovely mutuals but I could lift the smaller ones I reckon.#right now I could pick up (not for long) anyone around or under 150 pounds. also preferably not super taller than me but I think it’d work.#it’s a start! I should start lifting. makes me feel big and strong. I wanna pick my friends up.#^sorry to derail this in the tags but I typed that up and was like ‘that’s such a King statement’. it’s bc someone liked a post where I#talked about feeling all overgrown and how King being half a foot shorter than me but still picking me up like a brides made me feel Not#Overgrown#I don’t worry about feeling overgrown so much anymore but I do kinda miss the bride lifting. it was nice every once in a while#it’s small things like that.#side note I think I could pick King up now bc they’re roughly my weight and as we established I can lift ppl about my weight very briefly#it’s the build. it makes me big and strong. it’s all the wood holding and platform throwing
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Random HH related thoughts again, but— I kinda think if I did ever do a verse for that, with Micchan as a sinner… then I’d probably like to have that be another verse which grants him animal traits—
Most likely sticking mainly to a feline, or maybe vulpine, theme/nature— but… part of me would also kinda like to include some snake traits into the mix too?? If mainly thanks to that being another big motif for him—
I just have zero idea how I’d make any of that make sense background story wise lmao, because my brain doesn’t wanna let me think about details related to that lol
#{|ooc post|}#like— considering the fact that sinner’s forms are usually related in some way to how they were in life/how they passed—#that means I’d have to brainstorm said details lol— and brain is just very ‘’nope’’ about that lmao#(also posting about this bc while I wanna do things— I don’t feel like being on my laptop to write— and head is lowkey empty anyways—)#(so~… here we are XP)
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needy!drunk!gojo satoru x gn reader-based off this post
synopsis: gojo is a lightweight, vowed to sobriety to keep whatever bit of shame he has left to his name. but he really can't help but take a few shots when he sees you doing the same.
warnings: sub gojo, gn dom reader, both reader and gojo are drunk, gojo's a lightweight, handjob, semi-public sex, he cries-like a lot, he also had nipple piercings bc i couldn't help myself, reader's kinda a hoe, feelings, think that's it
The warm press of hands against your hips is what makes you gasp. The soft touch of lips traced over your throat is what makes your head spin.
What a delightful feeling.
What a human desire.
“Touch me.”
The room spins around you, the warm feeling of being held making you sigh, leaning into it. The scent of him, the greedy claiming of his presence in your mind. So selfish. Of him not to think of the effect that this has on you. To not care about the war going on in your mind.
“Touch me, please?” A whine this time. A meek sound, spilling from his lips, making your body light up in return.
“Satoru,” He practically purrs at his name on your lips. Pathetic. How easily riled up he is. How easily you’re able to make his knees feel weak. How much he loves the sound of your lips forming his name.
“Mmmm, say it again.”His nose sweeps delicately over your neck, working over a heavy sigh as he tries not to get drunk on the smell of your shampoo. Or more drunk than he already is, that is.
“Your name?” You mutter slowly.
“Yeah….” His words have been gradually slurring over the span of the night, with the amount of shots he’s taken, with the amount of drinks he’s had. With the inches of space between you closing until there’s nothing between you but the thin layer of clothing that does nothing to hide the bulge he shamelessly presses against you.
Even so, you know that he's always been far beyond measures of shame, but this is a whole new level, the way he continues to press his body impossibly closer to yours, his broad chest against your shoulders, his hips canting against you.
You’ve always hated how he’s been taller than you, his incessant teasing when he throws you over his shoulder as you yell and pound on his back. He takes advantage of it all too often.
You don’t mind now.
“Why, Satoru?” Maybe you’re cruel for the teasing, for liking your friend’s reactions all too much. Shivering, nearly violently, throbbing against your lower back.
He whines, “Sounds so…-so much better when you say it. Makes me wanna just…”
His breath is heavy with the scent of alcohol and you’re still not entirely sure how Shoko and Suguru managed to get him to break his vow of sobriety. Not when you’d seen him turning them down for the first bit of the night.
The next time you saw him he was getting dragged along by you, gulping down whatever liquids you shoved into his hands.
With his feverish hands tracing up your body and his sinful hips pressing against yours. Muttering about how he wanted you and needed you, whispering about things he'd never have said in the harsh reality of day, but was that not the beauty of getting intoxicated beyond belief?
“Hmm? Just what?”
He simpers, “Wan’ you to touch me, play with me, like I’m just a toy for you~” He grinds slowly and you wish you could kiss him. Kiss him until he’s breathless and red and can’t remember his own name. Dazed and dizzy and muttering gibberish while loosely gripping onto you.
You don’t think if you’d even have to kiss him to do that right now, but the taste of his perfectly pink lips would just be an added pleasure to this delectable mix.
But you shouldn’t. And you won’t.
Not because he’s your friend and this will surely be crossing some unspoken line.
Or because it’ll throw off the axis of your entire friend group. You'd never let that stop you before. And you wouldn’t let something like that stop you now. Not when you've clumsily pressed your lips to Shoko’s, high out of your mind and hidden under the blanket of dark nights. Or when you let your hands wander along the lengths of Suguru’s skin, promising to make him feel things he’d never felt before.
Not because Satoru Gojo is one of your best friends.
But because Satoru Gojo is currently drunk and so are you. And despite the fact that you’re practically drowning in the warmth of alcohol and all that is Satoru Gojo, you want whatever you do with him to mean something-be something. Not just a clumsy night of drunken mistakes and hazy flashes, not something you’ll forget in the morning and agree to never speak of again.
He’s too…important for you to treat him like that. And you’re too selfish to let anything you do to him to mean anything but the fact that he would be yours. But he’s not yours. And you’re not his. And all this thinking is only making a steady ache build behind your temples.
You sigh, twisting around in his arms. Blue eyes blinking back at you, slowly searching over yours and fuck, his lips are so kissable. Pink and plump, trapped between his too white teeth.
“Let’s get you back to Shoko and Suguru, they’ll take you home and make sure you don’t kill yourself.” You’re not entirely sure where they went or why they’ve left the two of you behind, all alone where they'd know neither of you were in the right mind to make good choices.
“No,” He shakes his head, white hair tossing, ruffled and mussed from a night of clinging to you like this. Far too close for comfort though you still couldn’t bring yourself to pry him off. “No, n-no, don’t wan’you to leave…”
You begin to tug him off either way. He’s not sane enough to make decisions for himself and you don’t think you are either. “C’mon baby, let’s go find your friends.”
He shudders and grips your hand, refusing to move an inch. Tears pool in his eyes and your jaw hardens.
You sigh. You didn’t know why you thought this was a fight you’d win either way. It was a losing game trying to argue with Satoru. His lips wobble and you can feel your resolve withering away by the second. Tearing down every single defence you put up around, being ripped away by him and his stupid tears as if they were paper.
“Don’t leave.” He whispers and he looks pathetic but you know you’ll give in to him if he asks you to. “Don’t leave me…please.”
You cup his cheek and he purrs, melting into the touch as if he were a cat, pushing into you for more attention. Basking in your attention as you sweep his tears away with your thumb, letting him close his eyes and pull you into the soft cushioning of a booth.
You feel heady or maybe it’s the alcohol talking. More tears roll down his cheeks, tracking along the slopes of his flushed face. Crystalline and sacred and you realize with a twist in the pit of your stomach that it’s arousing.
The sight of him. His sweat-soaked skin and his eyes big and glassy. And the fragile mask he’s worked so hard to keep up deteriorating beneath your very eyes, each tear breaking and cracking apart the image of the powerful man he claims to be.
A crumpled facade of a God into a something more, something divine and corrupt, something vulnerable and weak and so very human in your arms, falling apart by a mere touch.
Maybe you’re more fucked up than you realized. Maybe you’re just horny. Maybe because it’s him. And he’s Satoru Gojo and everything about him is perfect. Powerful. Transcendent. A God against humans, finally falling apart like this, before you, ready to fall to his knees. Perhaps he was always meant to.
“Don’t wanna be alone…don’t wanna…ngh~”
His hips thrust up, a whiny gasp working past his lips. He pants as if he’s run a marathon and you want to do such delectably sinful things to him and you’re sure you could do them all and more and he’d only beg and plead for more.
Perhaps…
“Kiss me.”
Your heart thuds in your chest, you wonder if he can hear with how loud it is. “Satoru,”
He whines and grinds and you moan. And it’s a losing battle.
“Shut up,” he insists, hand cupping the back of your head, running his fingers through your hair, almost obsessively. “Shut up and just kiss me.”
“You know we can’t. You-“
“I, am perfectly fine.” His words are a pant, a plea, whispered with a kind of reverence of a worshipper to a god. “Just kiss me, fuck me. Use me,” white eyelashes flutter, blue looking all the bluer rimmed with red and filled with tears. “Use me until you’re bored of me, until there’s nothing left-i don’t care.” He breathes, desperate and pleading and looking like he’s ready to get down on his damn knees on the dirty sticky floor. “Just-please.”
A losing fucking battle.
Maybe it always was. Trying to keep your hands off him, now, you realized it was like setting a treat on a dogs nose and telling them to wait. A crazy amount self control with the eventual prize just in sight.
All you can think as you cup his cheeks, flushed and wet from tears, warm against your hands is how fucking pretty he is. How you want him more than you think you’ve ever wanted anything. “Fuck, Satoru,” you mutter and he moans deep and appreciatively and then you’re pulling him in to slide your lips against his.
And now all you can think about is how much of a dumbass you are for not doing this sooner.
He tastes like alcohol and cigarettes-when he had one you don’t know but you do know that it’s the most intoxicating mix you’ve ever encountered. You feel like you’re floating, high off his taste and his moans; like he’s a drug and you’re the addict, injecting him straight into the vein.
It's far from elegant and he’s not perfect at it in the way you’d expect from a man as beautiful as him-godhood hasn’t blessed him in every aspect. But he’s desperate and he's eager to take everything you give, mewling against your lips.
He’s so needy and it's crazy the way it sends you into a sort of reverie. His hands gripping your hips hard, like he’s afraid you’ll slip away if he lets go, like he’s hoping you’re real and not a apparition of drunken hysteria. He pulls you closer, as if you could get close enough that no one could find where you ended and he started, that you might be able to meld into one.
You’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel the same sentiment. If you didn’t try your hardest to do the exact same; nails pressing into his skin, making him whine as you tilted his head back and slipped your tongue into his mouth, exploring, feeling, taking, using.
Just like he told you to do.
He vibrates against you, nearly shaking with choked noises. He mutters soundless words, each and every one swallowed by you as soon as they’re spoken. Pleas and prayers, worships and praises.
You’d show him what real ascension felt like.
You probably should be embarrassed, or at the very least shameful to be putting on such a show in front of what you know are watching eyes. But you know that Gojo is far past shame at this point and you're too enamoured by the beauty that is Satoru Gojo clinging to you like he’s about to break.
To be honest, you can't find it in yourself to give a shit about any of them. About anything but him, focusing your attention on devouring him whole as he shatters, ready to catch every piece as they fall into your waiting hands. No matter if the shards rip apart your skin and leave you a bloody mangled mess.
You break away first, fighting a smile at his whine as you pull away from him, panting.
He looks unravelled, messy. His usual flirty facade lost to pleasure. His watery eyes and heartbroken whines gone as well. Overwhelmed by swollen lips and gasps to make up for lost air. A blush like he’s just realized where he is, burying his face into your neck to hide from the probing eyes. To whisper, "You're too good at that, you know?.”
You bark a laugh and he nuzzles into your skin.
And then you’re redirecting him to your lips again.
In a flurry of hands and lips, messy steps and you’re clumsily stumbling into the bathroom. Quickly, Satoru is shoved against the door, fingers fumbling for the lock.
Your lips find his neck, fluttering a barrage of open-mouthed kisses over the heated skin, dragging your tongue along his thrumming heartbeat.
He whines and he begs, muttering nonsense that makes it to your ears but not to your head as you hum against him. Slender fingers knit through your hair, holding you close to him, pleading for you to never leave him.
“Touch me, touch me, touch me.” He repeats, slurred and slow, his eyes drooped shut, his voice husky with want, with lust and everything he’s been just barely repressing all this time.
But you've only ever been a slave to his desires.
So you respond in tenfold, nipping and sucking, leaving evidence that you've been here, staking a claim that doesn't exist and maybe never will but for tonight maybe you can play pretend.
Because he keens when your teeth sink into his skin and his back arches, pressing evidence of his wanton yearnings against you like you might devour him whole.
Like he wants you to.
He quieter when he whispers something that could change everything. “Love me?”
Your heart pounds in your chest but you’d never turn him down.
Fingers deftly undo the buttons on his tight-fitting button up, revealing porcelain-like skin underneath. His nipples are hard and pink and fucking pierced.
He gasps when you touch them, pinching them between your thumb and forefinger.
And you've never been particularly mean but you can make an exception for the God in front of you, leaving him to tortuous touches all while he throbs and thrusts into nothing but the fabric of his too-tight pants, whining from the stimulation that's all too little.
He's been begging for this all night. Whispering dirty words like a little tease, like a shameless slut.
He got you all riled up and for that you think that he should take his own share of teasing.
For retribution, for your own piece of mind and the pleasure it is to watch him squirm against the wall, eyes squeezed shut and tearstained and begging in small breathless whimpers barely over a whisper.
But you've never been able to resist him long, not then, not now and not ever.
Your hand finally reaches for his waistband, his body shivering with the feeling of your fingers dipping onto hot, untouched skin.
But he stops you.
His hand, large and pale landing over your own in a quick moment of lucidity.
His voice emerged, a whisper of uncertainty and longing. "Y-You'll take care of me?"
You met his vulnerability with a promise because you could never leave him with any less. "Yes," your words a whispered caress, a undying oath in itself, a vow that you'd take beyond this in whatever may happen.
Your lips brush over his ear, his eyes squeezing shut as your hand wraps around him, dragging a ruinous moan from deep in his throat.
"I promise, I will."
And your hand is wrapping around him, hot and wet and hard, all for you. Just for you. And his head is turned off, just sensations and feeling and you.
Just you.
"F-fuck, yes, please," so broken, fragile almost as ironic as it is. "Yes, pl-please, feels so go-good."
He doesn't last long and you don't know if it's from all the teasing you've administered or from how long he's been worked up for.
But you rather like the thought of him being sensitive enough that your voice and a few strokes is enough to bring him to the edge.
To have him pulsing in your hand while his arms wrap around your shoulders, blunt nails scraping into you skin as his hips thrust with reckless abandon.
His body quivering with pleasure as your hand forms a loose hole for him to fuck into, your thumb playing with the sensitive head of his dick.
"Please, please I need it, need it so bad," And he has no right sounding this good, looking this good while fucking into your hand like a goddamn dog. "Need it more than anything."
He always has been one for dramatics.
His head falls back against the wall, throat bobbing with the moan deep in his throat, fuck how the marks of your teeth stand out on the pale skin of his neck. Your lips permanent on his body for now, forever maybe if he'll let you keep replacing them.
"Fuck, Satoru," You free hand threads through his head, pushing his lips to meet yours, messy and slopping as he arches against you, hips thrusting erratically to match your pace. Keening when you nip at him, teeth tugging at his bottom lip, nails scratching at his scalp sending tingles down every part of his body.
He breaks away with a gasp and a cry when and only when he absolutely has to, eyes shining and chest heaving with breaths to fill his burning lungs.
And he's crying. And he's beautiful.
More beautiful than anyone or anything you've ever seen in your life.
"Shit, I'm close, m' so fuckin' close-!"
You’re half out of your mind and you couldn’t feel more sane. Like this was meant to happen-like he was meant to be yours.
"Don' stop, please don't stop," he gasps, like you'd ever think about it, like you'd could even if you wanted to.
“Satoru,” And he shakes.
“Satoru,” And he sobs.
“Satoru,” And he breaks, head falling back as if in prayer, a finger pushing his chin up, clashing against a higher power he didn't think possible.
“My one and only Satoru.” Soft and sweet and just for him and only him. And he’s gone.
Ropes of cum spurt out, rope after rope, covering your hand and the floor. Covering his thighs and his stomach in a mess.
Everything feels fuzzy and his cheeks are pink. A stupid grin crossing his face as he melts, boneless in your arms. "I love you." He mutters, distantly, foggily.
Perhaps somewhere beneath the haze he thinks that maybe you've said the same back. But he isn't quite sure anymore. He needs to be sure.
Slowly, he's lowered onto the floor into a sitting position. The tile is cold against his bare skin but it's okay because you're still caressing him, holding his face in your hand, thumb wiping at his tears.
"You love me right?"
You leave for moment and a whines at the loss of you pressed against him. Even if it's only for a few seconds he feels lonely and empty without your touch.
But then you're back and you're wiping him down with a wet towel, cleaning off his skin so gently, as if he's made of glass of porcelain, like he something to be cherished and taken care of.
"Hey pretty boy, you good?" He recognizes your voice even throughout the cloud in his mind. He nods and you smile and he's melting all over again.
"Do you love me?"
You roll your eyes and for an awful second he thinks that maybe you're going to say no. But then you're pushing the hair off his forehead and kissing him so fucking gently he thinks he'll cry.
"I do love you Satoru."
And his heart is bursting-he swears it is, it's beating so fast and so hard he's absolutely sure that you can hear it and that the quiet laughs escaping your pretty lips is because you can tell how dumbly in love with you he is.
But that doesn't matter.
Because right now he's normal person and you're a normal person and nothing else will matter but the fact that he's your's now.
"I love you too, y'know?" He mumbles.
You kiss him again, and again, and again. On his forehead and his temples, his cheeks and the tip of his nose and each of his eyelids. You kiss everywhere on his face until his lips are pouted out and he lets out a little whine of frustration.
And then you kiss his lips. Barely a peck, too fast and short for his taste but he doesn't have time to complain as you pull him off the floor.
“C’mon pretty boy, let me bring you home.”
“Mmm,” He doesn’t move, boneless against you. “Will you fuck me again?”
You laugh, soft. “Like I’d be able to resist you.”
#dom reader#sub jujutsu kaisen#dom!reader#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#sub gojo#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo smut#gojo x reader#sub anime#sub gojo smut#sub gojo x reader#sub gojo satoru#sub!gojo#sub!jjk#sub character#sub jjk
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holiday (3tan special) | myg
title: holiday pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) series: masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted | broken (pt. 1) | broken (pt. 2) | lollipop rating/genre: pg (18+) ; fluff ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au, holiday au summary: from what you can gather, holiday gift exchanges are supposed to be pretty straightforward. but this one quickly escalates. because no one can follow directions. note: this is all thanks to the person that suggested a 3tan crew secret santa! they don’t do actual secret santa, but they do host a gift exchange. so enjoy this speedily but still tenderly written holiday special! i wanted to get it posted asap so that we could all have it during the holiday season. hope it helps lifting spirits in any way<3 warnings: yoongi looks like sin, but reader does too🤭, kissing, no one follows directions, but especially jimin, hella kissing, no fr jimin is chaos incarnate, sibling holiday woes, tense situations, tender moments, gift exchanges, dialogue heavy i’m so sorry, also not too edited i'm sorry again sdfkljdskl. reader is adorable y'all i wanna cry, 3tan crew being wholesome af drop date: december 27th, 2024, 8:37pm est word count: 8.1k bc i love y’all???
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“Wait… I’m in this, too?”
Your brother winces while checking his phone, probably also seeing the texts that Jimin sent to a freshly created group chat. “Tae and Chim roped us in this time. But it’s cool if you don’t wanna.”
As you both don work attire in your foyer, you shake your head, one hand firm on your bag strap, “I don’t even know how they work.”
“I think we random draw names. Then just give a gift to whoever we get.”
Seeing the names and numbers in here, you’re already running through a lot of possibilities. Maybe too many possibilities. But you don’t wanna make things more complicated or awkward, so you quickly concede, “I mean.. I’m down if you are.”
“I guess it’s cool.”
Head lowered, you notice that your brother’s shoes are the ones you gave him for his birthday a couple years ago. Because those days are the only ones you both celebrate every passing run of three hundred and sixty-five. “At least we’re doing something this year.”
He chuckles to his feet. “Two years in a row.”
Your sad laugh tumbles and rolls next to his. “Wild.”
“Hey.” When he pauses, it’s to wait for you to look up. “If you ever wanna talk about it, we can.”
There are a lot of times in which you dismiss your brother. Because it’s just what siblings do.
This time is not one of them.
“Same,” you offer, the weight of the world dragging your smile down.
He gives you a hug, and you feel the luxury press of his suit as you lean in with scrunched brows.
Two years in a row.
Maybe things do suck less with time.
When you both head out the door to your cars, you wonder if your brother knows how much you appreciate him and his friends for including you in things. Even if you don’t show it as much as you need to.
Guess this time of year is a good place to start.
Work drags in the wake of oncoming holiday.
But you’re learning to appreciate the decorations around the office, including the little cards that coworkers have given you at your desk—despite your many protests that they didn’t have to.
When you look up, you start to notice other things. Like the way people smile just a little more. Or the way peppermint and cider waft around the building, smelling of sweet instead of spice.
You wonder if Jungkook has decorated the studio, too. Or if he recruited everyone else to help with decorations, which means that Yoongi and the guys had to fuss with lights and whatever else people spend money on.
Laughing to your many stacks of papers and documents, you start daydreaming of what it would be like to decorate the house.
Would you and your brother do it someday? You do admit that it’s kinda nice to look around the neighborhood. And when you went into the mountains last year, you concede that the surrounding town decor was pretty inviting.
Maybe your house would be a little brighter on the inside too if you both just…
You get a notification on your phone. When the screen brightens, you see that it’s for the app that shuffles you all for the gift exchange.
You have no fucking clue what you’re doing.
But here goes.
Opening and hoping you get someone that’s easy to please, you stare at your device and blink a few very hard times.
And after every time, you still get a name that has your heart quickening faster than reindeer working overtime. It’s reindeer, right? You think that’s cor—
“You okay?”
Snapping your head up, you notice that one of your coworkers stopped mid-stride to check on you. Staring at his candy cane tie, you try not to be distracted as you slightly cringe,
“What do I get a guy for the holidays?”
“Friend or lover?”
Well, that was not what you expected to hear!
When your jaw unhinges, you’re quick to snap it back into place. “Umm.”
“Oh, this is juicy,” he perks up, quickly settling into a nearby chair and resting a strong chin in his hand. “Tell me more, I got time.”
Laughing, you shake your head while pretending to type on your computer. “Nothing to tell.”
“That means you got a whole lot.” His eyes are way too shiny right now! “But alright, I’m gonna assume both. In which case, I suggest something nice.”
“Something nice?”
“You know, like. Nice nice.”
“It’s for a gift exchange, though,” you slump, hands stopping on the keys. Looking at his whole holiday ensemble, you divulge, “The money limit’s definitely not enough for nice nice.”
“Then fuck the limit?”
Your answer is more of a sound than a word.
But he does get you to consider, even if just for a little bit. “Maybe…”
“Fuck the limit,” he advises again. “He’s gonna dig that. Especially since everyone will see it.”
Your face falls from the snowy sky. “Everyone?”
“Uhh, yeah? You said gift exchange, right? Everyone sees what everyone gets.”
“Oh. Right,” you pretend to agree to your computer. Because no, you actually didn’t know that. “Guess it’s been awhile.”
“Well, that’s what makes it fun! Good luck.”
While you would normally agree, you have a whole hoard of conflicting feelings. Because while seeing Yoongi’s name on your screen is enough to get you giddy as hell, you know there’s a couple people that may not share the same sentiments. Especially if you gift him something nice nice.
In front of everybody.
However…
As your striped and jingling coworker strides away with a hum, you drum your fingers on your minimally decorated desk.
Maybe there is a way you can finess this.
After a few weeks, the day has come for not just one exchange, but two—your friends also decided to have your own. Because it’s the easiest format, you convinced them with logic, seeing their shock at you being the one to suggest the exchange in the first place.
When they asked if you were sure, you assured them that it was okay. And the way they all brightened told you that you made a sound decision. Even if they still seemed hesitant, you know it’s because…
You’ve never done this.
So as you observe everyone in your bare living room, you start to see how their presence alone illuminates the space, with gifts in shine and glitter painting the area in holiday colors.
This is nice.
“So… Uhh.” You clear your throat, watching everyone look at you at the head of your coffee table. “How do we do this?”
They all laugh before Taehyung explains, “So one of us goes first and says who we got before giving the gift—you can sit, you know.”
In the midst of more teasing, you settle onto the floor while exclaiming, “I’m nervous, okay! This is really new to me.”
“You have a gift to give, right?”
“Yeah?”
“Then you’re already doing great,” Reia assures, and you’re even more excited to give yours away. Because you drew her name.
But before you can say that, Taehyung continues, “So after someone gets their gift, they announce who they picked, and so on.”
“Pretty straightforward,” you observe. “I wanna go first!”
Dom cackles, “You just wanna get it out of the way.”
“And?” you question, grinning when you shoot up and grab your very amateurishly wrapped bag. “Okay, okay, I got…”
“This is adorable,” Yuri cuts in, and everyone’s agreement makes you suddenly shy.
“No! Don’t make fun.”
“We aren’t!” Taehyung reaches out to rub your leg. “Promise. Who’d you get?”
“I got… Reia!” You exclaim, raising your bag a bit as she yells with everyone. The sudden raise of noise gets you a little shocked, but hyped nonetheless. And maybe a bit nervous that your gift won’t live up to the excitement. “Sorry about the wrapping job.”
“What are you talking about, this is so good,” Reia soothes, smiling wide as she delicately takes out the folded paper. “Wow, the wrapping is nice?”
Dom chimes in as she leans in, “Yeah, this is too good. Did you watch videos?”
“Uh huh.”
Everyone laughs again as you keep your nose held high. Because sucky or not, you were not gonna half-ass your first ever gift exchange. With seasoned people, at that. No way.
When Reia opens the gift you carefully picked while perusing through a local music store, you watch with the anticipation of a small child, eyes wide and waiting. Hoping that the best outcome is the real outcome.
And when she quietly yells behind her hand, everyone cheers while asking what she got. When she turns the package around, they cheer even more, because it’s a guitar pick set in her favorite colors. And one that you knew was so, very much her.
She stands up immediately and opens her arms for a hug, and you blink before getting lovingly crushed.
“Thank you,” she whispers in your ear. “This is more than great.”
“Of course, babe,” you murmur back, feeling her jean jacket under your palms and a beating in your chest. “Thank you, too.”
The rest of the exchange goes off without a hitch, with you cheering with everyone and understanding the cues more and more. Everyone’s gifts are wonderful, and Yuri’s the last to go out of the five of you.
And she got your name.
You figured giving the gift would be the hardest part.
But somehow, this part is a lot harder.
Braving it anyway—because there’s ironically no time like the present—you carefully unwrap the thin package and stare at what’s inside.
It’s a photocard. But the picture is of the five of you, one that Taehyung took with his long ass arms while the four of you huddled behind him with drinks in hand. Around its edges are stickers, hearts and stars and cute little animals.
And it’s the most precious thing you’ve ever seen.
You don’t even realize you’re crying until Yuri rushes over to ask if you don’t like it.
“This is the best thing ever,” you choke out, and she smiles before laughing and tearing up, too. “I love us.”
“We’re the best, duh.”
“Got that right,” Dom adds to the air while Reia and Taehyung start cleaning up the wrapping scraps. “You like your first gift exchange?”
“I should’ve joined y’all sooner.”
“Joined us?” Taehyung looks up from the ground. “What do you mean?”
“Oh. I figured you guys do this every year.”
Tae looks at Yuri, who then looks at you again before very seriously admitting, “We’ve never done this, either. Not with each other.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” She taps the back of your now most precious, most coveted photocard ever. “We didn’t even think about it since you wouldn’t be there.”
Smiling at your prized possession, you vow,
“I’ll be here now.”
Regarding all of them, you start to decorate your place in your mind. Seeing where all the lights go. Where all the little trinkets hang, or whatever. You don’t quite know how this goes just yet, but you do know there’s trees involved. So that’s gonna be figured out in a year’s time.
“I’m not missing this again.”
With bellies full of laughter and a little bit of cider, you and your friends head over to Jimin’s cul-de-sac.
Dom took the wheel this time, so you get to stare out the passenger side window, eyes reflecting golds and colors as you take in the surrounding lights.
Were they always this pretty? You don’t remember being so taken by electricity and staggering electric bills, especially the houses that go all out and cover every nook of their yard in lights.
But it’s a spectacle on every corner and street, and Jimin’s little half circle of houses keeps the holiday illumination alive.
“Uhh, I think we can park down there,” you point, noticing there’s some space a little bit beyond the street. It’s alarmingly next to where Yoongi had to park once, and you cherish that memory with stars in your eyes.
“Everyone have their gifts?”
“Tae, if anyone lost theirs on the way here, we have other issues.”
It’s a quick walk to Jimin’s, and the music around the house gets louder as you approach his entrance. There are people already set up in his open garage playing what you assume are card games, and everyone greets your group as you pop in to say hi.
“Hey!” Namjoon calls. “Y’all are late! Everyone’s inside.”
“We had our own party first,” you call out, struggling with your gift bags and food tray. “Can someone—”
Before you finish your ask, you smell nice cologne and feel a big presence at your side.
When you look to see who’s assisting, you slow in your motions before uttering a small,
“Thank you.”
Jungkook slightly smiles as he grabs your last bag. “Your perfume’s nice,” he compliments behind tousled bangs. Which makes you blink because that comment is more than hard to come by from him.
So you can only grin. “Just got it,” you explain as you follow your friends inside the house. “It’s a dupe, can you believe it?”
“Damn! It’s a good one.”
“I know,” you agree, very proud of your find. Taking the gift bags from his hands, you tilt your head. “Can you bring the tray to the kitchen?”
“On it.”
When you make your way to your friends at the front area, they all eye you with concern. But you wave it off and shrug off your coat to hang on the loan coat hanger—earning teasing and whistles.
“Shut up,” you groan, laughing with everyone before straightening the reason for the noises. It’s a dress you’ve been eyeing specifically for holiday parties. Because as soon as you started to shop for your gift exchanges, that quickly spiraled into shopping for outfits to wear to them. Did your coworker spook you into looking good because it was a public event? Maybe. Absolutely.
So you shopped around before finding a dress that even you knew you looked good in. And the past couple weeks were the longest stretches ever because of your anticipation to wear it again.
As you and your newest fit walk into the kitchen, you start to greet everyone, giving them hugs and smiling bright at their compliments. Because you feel good. You feel nice. Maybe you’re just drinking the holiday cheer and letting it consume you but you don’t care because it’s fun this time. This isn’t like any other year, and it’s wonderful.
But then.
Even the most wonderful moments have to come to a halt.
And yours crash when you see Yoongi.
Leaned back on one of the kitchen counters, his body appears relaxed in another damn black button-up, telltale silver chain hanging from a neck you wanna devour in front of the whole house.
He was already annoying last year. But this time, his hair’s longer, and made up with just the right amount of disarray and a little bit even tucked behind his ear.
Fuck, this is so much worse!
If he wasn’t so attractive and magnetizing, you’d have way less than ninety-nine problems. It would be a lot closer to zero.
But you make your way over to him anyway, because of course you would. Of course he knew you would, too.
“Hi,” you greet him, hands tingling with the desire to cup his beautiful chin and yank him in for a kiss.
But he greets you back while giving you a hug, not without giving you a very obvious once-over.
“Beautiful,” he whispers in your ear before pulling away, which can only make you babble out,
“What?”
He grins wide. “You look nice.”
Oh. Oh, he really did say that. Why are you surprised? Why are you always surprised? But you have to stay poised so you stick with a neutral,
“So do you.”
“Thanks,” he says with a sly curve, still leaning back on the counter with a drink in hand. “Say something else.”
“Goodbye forever,” is what you go with, back heating with his staccato laughs following your speedy retreat.
No, no, no. He cannot notice how excited you are to give him his gift. Your bubbling excitement needs to be projected elsewhere. Because you know you picked perfect. It’s something you know he’d appreciate.
But he cannot have his ego inflated anymore or else the house would float to the sky.
But fucking hell, he looks damn good and he knows it.
After an hour or so of socializing and keeping to your little friend circle, Jimin gets everyone together in the big living room to do the exchange.
“Okay! One, two… Okay, we’re all here, so. Who’s gonna start?”
When someone calls his name, the man grins and shakes his head. “Nah, I’m host.”
“So shouldn’t you be the one to start?”
“My house, my rules!” Jimin argues with zest, pointing to the guy that dared to challenge him, “So you go first.”
And that man just so happens to secretly be yours.
Shouts erupt around the living room, and you can mostly hear Hoseok and Seokjin since they’re closest,
“Go, Yoong!”
“Ah, Yoongi’s first for a change.”
Secretly and not so secretly, you’re hoping and wishing that he pulled your name. But the odds of that would be pretty slim if you pulled him, even though it was an even chance across the board.
But as he gets up from the arm of Jimin’s couch holding a small gift bag, you determine that maybe it’s best if he didn’t pull your name. Because you already had trouble opening Yuri’s gift. How the hell would you control yourself opening his?
“K, uhh. I got…”
Wait, he’s looking towards you from across the room.
Shit. Is it happening?
You?
“Taehyung.”
A pang of disappointment and relief shoots through your veins, even when you shout with everyone while watching Tae smile from his place right next to you.
Yoongi walks right up to your seats, which are really some extra fold-out chairs by Jimin’s decorated tree. And he smells so good. Why do you have to be close to him again?
But this moment is about Taehyung, so you watch as he opens the gift. When there’s a small box inside the bag, he opens that to reveal a nice, slim… wallet?
Wait, is that leather?
Your mouth drops as everyone’s up and raising questions already, and you can clearly hear Jungkook and your brother protest the highest,
“Wait, huh?”
“We set a limit for a reason!”
Yoongi’s hands stay in his pockets when he refutes, “It was on sale.”
“Nah, he’s lying!”
Taehyung doesn’t know what to say, so when he looks at you, it takes all your strength to encourage him neutrally,
“It’s so you! Deserved.”
Yoongi looks at you before asking your friend, “Is it okay?”
“It’s perfect,” Taehyung says, full of gratefulness. “I’m just shocked.”
Jimin and Shiv chuckle from one of the couches,
“Oh? He’s never shocked.”
“This is new.”
Yoongi smiles as Tae gets up to hug him, and you’re immediately okay not being the one receiving anything right now.
Because you don’t need anything from him.
All you want is his happiness.
Once the initial gift is given, everyone goes down the line. And you’re feeling a little lighter after knowing who Yoongi got. Also, you feel less and less awkward about your gift, since the chaos of Yoongi’s was only the beginning.
Because when Taehyung gifts your brother a chain, everyone’s up and yelling again while your sibling is shocked to hell.
On one end of the living room, Namjoon shakes his grinning head while Jungkook throws his back,
“Alright, there needs to be a penalty for the most expensive gift.”
“We obviously didn’t give a shit about the limit.”
Everyone’s laughter fills the house, even drowning out the faint holiday music floating from the surround speakers.
Immediately clipping on his necklace, your brother shouts, “Am I the only one that stuck to what we agreed on?”
“Sucks for who got yours then.”
Everyone starts laughing or reprimanding Yoongi for saying that—you with a cackle included.
But then your brother busts out a fucking watch for Shiv and everyone goes bananas.
At this point, Taehyung’s fully laughing behind his fingers on his forehead, and Jimin collapses on a gawking Yoongi when Shiv quite literally jumps up.
“What the hell? Dude, I can’t take this.”
“Yes, you can! And you will.”
Fingers are pointing in every direction while people are calling each other liars, and your brother laughs on like a gremlin.
But it’s all so adorable that your heart is squeezing. Shiv’s damn near tearing up. “I’ve been eyeing this one for forever.”
“I know! You wouldn’t stop running your damn mouth about that thing.” Your older sibling claps him on the shoulder. “You can shut up now,” he says with a grin, and Shiv gives him a big hug.
“Thanks, man.”
“Don’t sweat it.”
Shiv’s turn. And everyone is waiting for what he decided to gift.
Turns out he keeps the shenanigans going by gifting Jungkook a luxury tie set.
The blond’s jaw drops as he stares hard at the package. Looking up quick, he has to ask for sure, “A set, dude?”
“It was on sale!”
“Again?”
“Are we all gonna say the same lie?”
Everyone can’t hide their amusement, with creased eyes and fake annoyance in every seat. Jungkook can’t believe his luck, since he’s been telling himself to get dress clothes forever but hasn’t gotten around to it.
“You gotta dress like a man now, kid,” Shiv tells him with a bright smile. “There’s a lot coming now that you’re making it.”
A light bulb softly glows when you realize that Yoongi might need to do the same. Trying not to look obvious, you peek in his direction.
As he stares at the floor, you already know he’s mulling over the same thoughts.
But it’s Jungkook’s turn now, and you still haven’t gotten a gift yet.
So you’re waiting with all the air in your lungs.
As the blond teases his pick, the studio boys are quick to handle him as Yoongi only huffs.
“I got… I got… I got, I got, I got, I got—”
“Kook, just say it.”
“Always like this.”
“Jimin!”
Your heart beats again as the host pops up from his couch, everyone cheering as Kook meets him in the center. Around you, speculation from your friends mixed with a little laughter spikes,
“He probably stuck to the limit.”
“Definitely.”
“Jimin’s gonna be the only one left with—”
Cackles and screams rip as Jimin kicks his head back in laughter, because in his hands is a sleek white box that everyone recognizes.
This man got Jimin designer shades.
Your cheeks hurt as you react with everyone, giddy and bubbly with how absolutely ridiculous this whole night has gone. Everyone accusing each other of cheating, while all the while every single gift has been over the top.
You really don’t feel bad about revealing your gift anymore. Quite honestly, you almost feel more bad about it not being enough.
No. It’s enough.
Yours is the best and you stick to that.
Jimin takes the sunglasses out of the box and protective pouch, slipping them on and modeling immediately.
Oh’s and ah’s echo before his friends inflate his ego,
“Damn, you sure you aren’t a model?”
“You’re one step away.”
“He really is.”
He looks great and he knows it. And he carefully puts them back in their packaging before giving Jungkook a hug. They exchange conversation, and you can feel the latter’s smile as he laughs before sitting down.
Suddenly, you have the strongest intuition that you’re next. On Jimin’s turn. He’s getting out a very nice bag from behind a couch and your brain is firing off.
“Okay! The best gift is going to…”
You were right. He calls your name.
Smiling, you shakily stand as Jimin approaches, a twinkling look in those features glowing in incandescent lights.
Eyes on you. Many eyes.
A little overwhelmed, you thank him before sitting down. Because it’s much easier to do this while on a solid, structured surface.
“Hope you like it.”
“I’m sure I will.”
Best gift? What could Jimin possibly mean by—
Your scream shoots out as you clamp the bag shut because no fucking way you saw what you just saw in there.
Jimin’s laughing his ass off but it’s not funny.
“Jimin, what the fuck!” Now you know how Shiv felt and he is absolutely valid for his reaction. “I can’t accept this.”
People are concerned around you, and you quickly think they may have the wrong idea.
“What did he get?”
“What’s in there?”
Quelling some thoughts, you explain, “It’s a box.”
“Okay?”
You just gotta say it. They’re all gonna know as soon as you take it out anyway. So you breathe out,
“…It’s Dior.”
It’s the loudest it’s been all night, even though your friends are completely speechless. All the guys are up in arms and Jia’s scream for penalty can be heard through the chaos,
“What!”
“Where’s my Dior?”
“What the fuck?”
“Jimin…”
“Okay, that is way over limit! That’s cheating!”
“Penalty!”
Jimin’s sneaky smile as he turns around doesn’t help, “You know I get everything for less.”
“So?”
“Still, what the hell, man!”
You know Jimin works there. You do. But this is still making your limbs jelly and you can’t even speak.
There’s no way Dior is passed around at every gift exchange.
“You deserve it. For dealing with him.” He looks at your brother, but the look in his eyes is too sparkly to be completely truthful. Does he mean Yoongi? Or is he being serious?
Of course, your sibling throws out a droning, “Wow.”
After lots of shaky unboxing, you reveal a stunning bracelet, your friends bending down around you to gawk at how brilliant it is. Dancing in your fingers, this piece shimmers and gleams, and every single person is quiet.
Guilt. You feel guilt.
And you can’t even look at the reason why.
“Whatever you’re feeling, don’t. It’s okay.”
You’re tearing up because it’s way too nice. Which proves worse because you also feel bad for crying for the sole fact that Yoongi’s watching. You don’t want him to get the wrong idea.
You get up to hug him. “I… This is really nice, Jimin. Thank you.”
“Stop by the store sometime,” he offers with a smile. “Maybe I can slip more in your purse.”
“Easy,” your brother eyes him.
“So are we all getting fancy gifts or what?”
“Nope! Ran out of my discount, sorry.”
“Wow.”
When you finally glance around, everyone’s either a mix of shock and awe, visibly confused, or just jealous and wondering what the hell just happened.
Meanwhile.
Yoongi straight up looks like he’s holding his tongue.
And you suddenly feel really bad.
Hopefully giving him his gift will make up for what just happened. Even though you’re going after the hardest hitter of the damn night, this one’s special.
But who are you kidding? People are definitely gonna talk in private about Jimin’s little gift.
So now you have to try and mend this while acting like Yoongi’s just your brother’s friend. Cool. Awesome.
“So...”
Just try your goddamned best.
“Yoongi is mine.”
…Wait.
Your secret looks your way immediately while everyone snaps their heads to him.
What the fuck did you say?
Wait wait wait wait what did you fucking say?
Flapping your arms, you reach for words while everyone starts teasing, “Oh, god. I mean—I have Yoongi—I mean, wow. Hold on.”
Fucking fuck fuck, he’s grinning.
Thank the lord above for someone cheekily asking,
“First time at a gift exchange?”
You look away from the laughs while trying to compose your grin of embarrassment. Get it the fuck together, this is peak time to get it right.
“God. Okay.” You look down at your bag. All of its carefully folded and primped paper, the delicate folding inside. “For the gift exchange,” you clarify with a forced firm tone, “I got Yoongi.”
You feel Dom try her damned best to hide her laugh. And you know for damn sure Jimin and Taehyung are thoroughly amused right now.
All the oh’s sounding off in the living room are already enough to set your ears smoking. Your brother’s voice can be heard, but you know that’s for a specific reason.
Everything had to be carefully calculated, after all.
You walk up to him, and you cannot—absolutely cannot—look too long at the way he’s looking up at you. Him sitting in any capacity is enough to drive you up a wall, but now? When he looks so freshly fitted and prepping to tease you about all this later? You can barely think straight.
“I don’t think I can beat Jimin’s gift,” you sigh to his curious eyes. “But it’s a little too late to change.”
His smile turns so soft. He shouldn’t be the one comforting you right now when you probably broke a little of his heart. “It’s all good.”
Keep going.
Cleaning your clogged throat, you brave the crowd and breathe before starting again, “Anyway. This is kinda from both of us, but I picked it because I have better taste.”
“Hey, what the hell?”
Ignoring your brother’s protest, you watch as Yoongi softly opens the gift before pulling out a basketball jersey.
Of his favorite player.
“Holy shit.”
Shouts start erupting behind your back as you laugh, your sneaky gift joining the rest of them.
“Hello? That’s way too much!”
“That’s over the limit for sure.”
You wave your hands frantically among their teasing arguments, and your brother chimes in on your side. “I didn’t know what to get!”
“So you got a real jersey?”
“Relax, y’all. It’s from both of us.”
“Wait, which one’s Lillard again?”
“Damian,” Yoongi softly says in awe. “How’d you know?”
You can only blink, smiling faltering by the slightest amount.
Fuck, he’s gonna be cheeky right now? Knowing you know and exactly how you know? Cuddled up with him in his bed as he shows you highlight reels and tells you the guy’s whole story and that he happens to be a rapper, too?
Looking back towards your brother, you explain, “Well... He gave me a list. And I just picked off vibes.”
Yoongi’s eyes sparkle so much when he grins. “Good choice,” he compliments with creased eyes. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome!” You say back with a little too high of a pitch. “But tell him he still owes you a gift. This doesn’t count for him.”
“Uhh, it sure as fuck does!”
Yoongi breaks eye contact to shout behind you, “Didn’t you already tell me you got me something?”
“Yeah, it was that!”
“What a lie,” Yoongi says through a smile.
“Yeah, I did,” your brother surrenders. “The shoes are in my bag. Okay, next!”
Hilariously, two pairs of people end up getting each other. Yuri’s older sister Jia got Seokjin, who also drew her name—to the slight angst of your brother, you imagine.
And Hoseok ends up getting Namjoon. Which turns out being twice as funny because they both got each other the same pair of earphones. You can’t breathe with how hard you cackle with everyone, and your heart skips when you catch a glimpse of Yoongi’s eyes across the room.
By the end of the exchange, everyone’s bellies and cheeks sting from laughter, and every eye in sight has twinkles embedded inside.
Throughout the night, everyone starts branching off into different groups. You and your friends talk in the kitchen, and both in and out of the house, there’s groups of games and conversations.
The holiday decorations everywhere shine bright. Enveloped in the music, you keep looking at the lights, feeling happy but a little bittersweet.
You really wanna set the record straight with Yoongi. You had no damn clue that Jimin was gonna give something like that, much less in front of everyone.
The fact that you haven’t been in the same room for a bit makes it worse. What could he be thinking right now? You can’t tell because he’s nowhere in sight.
Screw it. You’re gonna at least text him. There’s no way you can survive the night if you’re gonna plague your own head without checking in with him.
Fishing out your phone, you sidestep away for a second to type something quick.
You [10:38pm]: i know it’s not dior.. but hope you like your gift :’))
Yoongi [10:38pm]: You know I do. It’s perfect, doll.
Well. He texted back super quick.
Maybe he’s really okay? Maybe he and Jimin already talked it through?
Then again.. Yoongi didn’t look happy at all during the big reveal. To the point where he was actively showing emotions you rarely get to see.
But if he says he likes his gift, that’s a good sign.
You [10:42pm]: i can’t believe jimin did that
Yoongi [10:42pm]: That was bold.
You [10:42pm]: seriously!!!
Hmm. So he didn’t know. That’s even more surprising than him knowing, now that you think about it.
You’re called over to get another round of food, and you turn down the initial invite but stay around as they get more to eat.
When you see a tray that smells way too good, you do break and get a piece anyways.
“Yeah, those are amazing,” Yuri chirps. “Shiv made those.”
“Really?” Dom grabs a couple pieces. “Lemme try these then.”
“You’re gonna want more.”
As you find a place outside to eat, you stand next to the heater while conversing with Taehyung. It’s adorable how you can tell how excited he is about his gift, turning it in his hand before pocketing the leather again.
“It’s so nice,” you compliment.
“He knows how to pick, I guess,” Tae smiles, looking at you and making you shy. Because hello? There’s no way he’s gonna be bringing that up tonight.
When you silently mouth for him to shut up, he grins like a madman. Glancing down at your hands, he suddenly asks, “Are you gonna put that down?”
“No,” you say with a tiny pang of guilt. “Afraid not.”
“Mm.”
Your phone buzzes again, and you’re thankful for the interruption.
Yoongi [11:09pm]: Guess I have to do better😔
Instantly, you take that gratefulness back.
You [11:09pm]: NO!! you don’t have to worry about me at all
Yoongi [11:10pm]: I can’t lose to you
You [11:10pm]: trust me, i just…
You think about sending the other text or not. But you do anyway.
Taehyung sees the look in your faraway face, but doesn’t comment as you peer down again.
You [11:11pm]: i just wanna see you happy
That’s all you want. If he’s happy, you’re happy. So it sucks to have part of the night come as quite the shock.
Interestingly enough, though.. Someone else in the house should also be pretty upset about your gift, and you haven’t seen Jimin cornered by him yet.
Unless your brother is just deciding to be courteous and beat his ass after everyone leaves.
Yoongi [11:13pm]: Then come over here
You’re not gonna argue with that.
So when your friends finish their plates, you suggest you all head into the garage. It’s already rowdy before you open the door, so the sounds get booming loud when you all enter.
Looks like everyone is blowing their money on other things tonight, too. The gifts were the nice part of the party; now everyone is fiending to take everyone’s cash.
“Damn, Yoongi’s clearing me out.”
“Told you not to go all in.”
“He did.”
As the cold weather rolls in, you watch as the games go on, with heaters humming with energy and your brother’s friends radiating competition.
No wonder Yoongi wanted you in here.
He’s on a damn roll.
As everyone groans after another win, Namjoon and your brother are in tatters,
“Yoong, what the fuck!”
“You hiding cards in those sleeves?”
“I told you!” Yoongi boasts, “Don’t get too cocky.”
“Says him.”
“Cocky, my ass.”
When you laugh, you earn a tiny glimpse of his eyes. But as his vision falls to your hands, you’re quick to look away, out into the night to look at all the lights instead.
Shit.
After some time passes, you find yourself alone on a balcony. Yet again. Cold wind blows through your coat, chilling you but making you feel alive. Too alive in this moment. Too aware.
The holidays aren’t so bad this time around. But you do need to set this one thing straight before things go a little sideways with Yoongi.
If he’s upset, you don’t want him to be. Even if he doesn’t say it, you want him to know you’re considering his feelings. There’s some things you just can’t control.
So you wait for Jimin, telling him earlier to meet you up here for the best chance at privacy.
When you hear the door opening, you see him come through, hair lifting in the breeze and his lips in a slight curve.
Get right to it. “Jimin, I—”
“Isn’t it so nice tonight?”
Stopping, you settle into a smile, watching him walk up to stand next to you before you both look into the night. The neighborhood glows beneath your feet, and everyone in the backyard mingles while puffs of air leave their lips.
“It really is,” you say with a smile, clutching the gift bag in cold fingers. Because you haven’t let go of it ever since it was given to you—it’s way too expensive. You’ve been guarding it all night.
Which is why you need to hand it back to the one who gave it to you. “We haven’t done something like this before, so.. It’s a nice change of pace.”
Jimin turns before realizing something. “Oh. I meant the weather.”
Embarrassed, you let out a laugh while his eyes crease. “Ah. That, too.”
“Got deep real fast.”
“Jimin!”
Both of you puff out laughter as you look down, just in time to see someone gazing right up at you. Someone that makes your heart squeeze on sight.
Oh, shit. Is he gonna get the wrong idea again?
You need to do this quick. Yoongi can’t be let down more than once tonight.
Sighing, you start to hold up the bag again. “Thank you—”
“He’s lucky you came around when you did.”
“Huh?”
Jimin leans on the railing before eyeing you with a smile. “You don’t even know, do you.”
“I don’t…” When you look below, Yoongi’s not looking anymore. And you panic. “Jimin, thank you. But I seriously can’t take this.”
Why does he look so calm? Why does he keep acting like this isn’t a big deal? “You can.”
“No, really. I—”
“I may have gone too far this time.”
Your eyes still as you breathe out a confused, “...What?”
Jimin’s face is dusted with peach in the cold, and you get a good view of his jawline as he peers down below with a regretful curve. “I kinda tricked him,” he admits. “Into picking your gift for the exchange.”
The shock you feel prevents you from even blinking. How the hell can this get even more overwhelming? “What do you mean?”
“I wasn’t lying when I said I got some good discounts.” Jimin turns around to lean against the railing. “So I thought it would be fun to rope him into getting you something.”
When he laughs to the chilly night sky, you don’t join him—the shock is preventing you from doing anything.
“Didn’t think he’d pick a whole bracelet, though. Made for one hell of a gift exchange pick.” He looks at you at a tilt. “You like it, right?”
Even if Yoongi was the one to pick out the jewelry, Jimin still had to purchase the damn thing. And even with his discount, it’s still expensive as hell. It has to be. You haven’t let go of the bag once because you don’t want to lose it. “But you still had to pay,” you blurt out. “I’ll find a way to pay you back if you aren’t gonna take it.”
“I didn’t pay for it, either.”
Your heart stops.
Full on halts.
When he turns his head, he looks toward the sky in thought. “Well, I did secretly pay the exchange limit. But..” He straightens before staring back at your absolute silence, dropping the biggest surprise of the whole night,
“Yoongi paid the difference.”
The sudden sob that leaves your throat startles him immediately, and he rushes forward to put hands on your shoulders. “Hey, hey, you okay?”
“Yeah, I just—”
The sound of a door slides open, and you turn to see your favorite, favorite, favorite person walking through. You must look like a wreck but you don’t care, don’t care, don’t care.
“I’ll leave you both to it then,” Jimin says to your watery eyes before squeezing, heading out to give you both the quiet space you need.
But Yoongi clutches his arm as he walks by, and you hold your breath as he stares him in the eye, voice burning with a steady glow,
“Don’t pull that shit again.”
“I know,” Jimin agrees without pause. “I owe you one.”
“No one comes up here then.” Yoongi releases him slow. “Until I come back down.”
The host of the night shares a quick hand clutch before assuring, “You got it.”
Bag clutched tight in your hands, you watch in wonder as Yoongi approaches you with a quiet determination. His presence alone makes your heart beat warm and soft, but you cannot stop the tears from flowing down your cheeks.
All you can ask as he gets close is a wondrous, “Why..?”
“He’s a very persuasive salesman.” When you wipe your eyes, he helps with a little look of tenderness. Though there’s still some frustration evident in his features. “But I didn’t know it would be for tonight.”
“Oh, shit,” you sigh. “Why did he do that?”
“I’m not sure.” Yoongi holds your chin, rubbing your frosty cheek with a handworking thumb. “Taehyung didn’t know he’d do it, either.”
“Tae knew, too?”
“Yeah. He thought I had it, not Chim.” He sighs to the side, hair lifting slightly in the breeze. “I almost stood up when you screamed.”
Your heart shrugs off some chill. “Really?”
Yoongi nods before looking up with scrunched brows. “It took all of me to keep my ass down. Honestly, I’m still pissed the fuck off.”
You believe that. One hundred percent, you believe that. Because you’ve never seen him talk to Jimin like that before tonight.
Reaching to cradle one of his cheeks, you feel how cold he is before whispering to soothe, “Tell me how you wanted it to go.”
When Yoongi looks at you, your lips curve into a small smile. Peppered with a bit of your tears and willingness to make him feel better.
He softly grips your hand on his face before turning to kiss your fingers. Voice low, he reveals, “I was gonna take you straight to dinner. After you got off work one day.” Another set of kisses makes your fingers both hot and cold. “Then I would’ve faked needing something from the studio. And you would’ve gotten it there.”
“Oh…” You blink as your vision blurs. “That’s…”
“Among other things.”
At his suggestive look, you playfully pat his jacket. But your heart starts leaking from your eyes.
Because you just want it all to be out already. Just everything. Everything, everything, everything, you’re so tired of keeping it under wraps.
“What’s wrong, doll.”
“Nothing,” you sob. “I’m just… I didn’t know, and… This is a lot.”
You’re overflowing with emotions. From all the experiences you’ve had tonight to this very moment, everything has been wonderful and magical and there’s nothing quite like this feeling. But you’re also so embarrassed because he definitely brought out much bigger guns than you did.
Sniffling into his jacket, you whisper, “Thank you… You got me something timeless. This is so much cooler than my gift.”
“No! Yours is great, are you kidding me?”
“It’s a jersey… That’s much less cool.”
“Mm... You also called me yours.” When you freeze completely, Yoongi's shoulders bob with his pride. “Gotta say, that was the highlight of the night."
“Oh, shut up!" When you groan into his clothes, you feel him laughing through his chest. And it's one of your favorite feelings in the world.
Shoulders slumped, you heavily yearn,
“I want it all out now. Everything.” You squeeze him closer. Closer, closer, closer. “I want everyone to know it was from you.”
Yoongi doesn’t say anything, though you do feel his heart beat a little faster. When he finally answers, you close your eyes. “I know I said this last time, but.. Next year. For sure.”
“Can we decorate, too?”
Yoongi looks into your starry eyes. “You wanna?” When your nod is quick, he laughs. “Guess I don’t have a real choice then, huh?”
“Nu uh.” You squeal as he hauls you into a full kiss, squeezing you in his arms and more tears out of your eyes. “Wait!”
When he tilts his head, you grin at his adorable quirk. “Let’s do it anyway.”
“Huh?”
Holding up the bag, you cheekily suggest, “Everything you said. Let’s do it.” Biting your lip and feeling the chill on your ears, you finish, “There’s a new place I wanna try with you anyways.”
Yoongi just stares, smile unsure but huffing amusement from his nose. “You sure?”
“Duh! And I’ll act even more surprised, just for you.”
Your giggling is purely born from excitement. Because you can’t wait to take him somewhere you know he’ll enjoy, too. And you get to see the studio? It’s gonna be a fantastic—
You’re brought into a tight hug before your thoughts finish. The bag between you crumples a tad, but you’re more focused on the way your head is moved for a soul-tying kiss.
Warmth and gold and sparkles burst from your chest as you’re completely taken by Yoongi’s lips, and you start to feel your house inside change. It’s festive. It’s decorated. It’s made just for you and him.
You've never been one for this season. But getting to spend it with Yoongi two years in a row? It's becoming one of your favorite times of the year.
“I just…” he murmurs to your features before gripping you close. “Thanks, babe.”
“Thank you,” you whisper into his handsome features. “Once you give it to me for real, I’m gonna wear it everywhere.”
“Please do. Get my money’s worth.”
When you both laugh, your affection leaves in puffs of white. And you give him a more tender kiss than the first.
You feel so at home it hurts. But it hurts because your heart is so full you can’t fit it all. All the love for everyone that fills that hole in your life that you and your brother have had for years.
You’re gonna tell him one day. And it’s gonna rip you apart.
But you hope everything will be okay. This time next year, all of you will be okay. More than okay.
When you lean in close, you whisper something you’ve never really said to anyone. But you’re gonna try to start, even if you aren’t quite familiar with it yet. It’s a good year to start, start, start.
“Happy holidays, Yoongi.”
His lips spread slow before giving one more kiss to your chilly nose. And every anxious feeling floats away in the frosty breeze.
“Happy holidays, doll.”
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fin. :)
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so... how did it go! | join the server! | join the taglist!
a/n: happy holidays, merry christmas, happy new year to everyone that celebrates! just wanted to get this one out for the ones needing a little bit of cheer around this time. we learn quite a bit about some of the crew's backstories and where they work now, huh. is this a pocket universe, too? who really knows! but it all flew out of my fingers as soon as we got the suggestion, so thank you again to that anon message! a/n 2: thank you to everyone that's stuck with me and 3tan this year. it's been a rough one, but i also wanted to post this one to let you all know i'm still here. 3tan will forever stay with me, and i have not ever forgotten it. not one day goes by where i don't think about it, or y'all, or them. trust me. also, stay on the lookout for some physical copy interest checks! we are getting closer and closer to 3tan copies being A Real Thing! ++ feedback box: ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like! ⇥ here! ++ more links: ⇥ masterlist ⇥ three tangerines masterlist
#hehehehe surprise and happy holidays!#bts fic#bts fanfic#yoongi fic#3tanholiday#yoongi fluff#yoongi x reader#yoongi x you#ryenwrites#*ryenfictalk#*latest#bts imagines#bts reactions
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unbreaking
life has dealt Wonwoo with a very uncanny set of cards, enough to make every waking hour an uncertainty. there is one thing however, he can always count on to remain unbreaking. well, maybe two.
wc: ~1.5k | contains: Spiderman!jeon wonwoo x reader, fluff, a crime is committed but its not in detail, perpetrator has a gun but doesn't use it
[a/n]: noW I KNOW I already posted my secret Santa fic HOWEVER this one is extra extra special bc its for my one and only camothy 🫶 she's been working vv hard when ive had to take a step back from @camandemstudios duties bc of life and I have concluded that she deserves a litol treat!!! @highvern I remember you talking about spidey wonu at some point so here it is, I hope u enjoy MUAH
also, bigbigbgigbig ty to @the-boy-meets-evil for beta-ing this for meeee <333
masterlist
The nerves were eating him inside out. He should be used to this, high pressure situations with more than just his life on the line, but Wonwoo can’t stop the waves of nausea that won’t seem to leave.
His I’m outside message stays in the text box, his thumb hovering over the send button. Swallowing, he lets his thumb rest on the screen and tries not to throw it into your neighbors bushes.
Dinner with your parents meant that Wonwoo had to reign himself in, keep to his best behaviour, do everything to be anything but himself. As your text bubbles bounce on his screen, he feels his heart come up to his throat.
[You]: clearance to ring the doorbell!!!
Deep, sharp breath, before he lets out slowly. He hopes his jeans aren’t too informal, his jacket too formal. He realises in that moment that he’s probably gonna have to hang it up, his t-shirt displaying the inevitable cuts and bruises on his arms. He curses under his breath, but it’s too late to change now, the only other pair of clothes in his trunk being his suit. Not an option.
So he rings the doorbell of your family’s home, and makes a futile attempt to clear his head. He imagines taking armfuls of the junk in his mind, dumping it into the recycling bin. He turns around, but the pile’s only doubled.
A click and the door’s opened, your face poking through the opening, a small smile on your face. Wonwoo feels himself relax at the sight, face morphing into a smile of his own.
“Hey,” he grins.
“Hi,” you whisper, unmistakable glint in your eye. “Come in.”
So he does, eyes up to catch anyone in the hall. He’s seen it before, but his stomach lurches when he sees your little sister in the hallway wearing a red t-shirt with a spider on it. Merchandise he’s never gotten a cut for because that would be compromising his identity, but he’d gotten used to it. His nerves are making him jumpy today, which isn’t always a good thing with what he is.
The last thing he wants is for your mother’s chandelier to end up covered in cobwebs not from actual spiders.
“Hey!” Wonwoo waves at your sister, who’s done nothing but stare at him since he walked in.
“Your jacket—” you start.
“Will stay on,” he interrupts, meeting your expecting eyes in a plea. “Please.”
You don’t ask questions. You never seem to.
He’s sure to say his hellos to your mother and father as politely as he can muster, but also trying to not sound blank as a sheet.
He eats what’s on his plate, compliments your dad on the potatoes, your mom on the salad. He remembers to be open for seconds, remembering how you told him your parents are happiest when they can feed their guests.
Your mother rounds up on your sister, “Do you wanna talk to Wonwoo while I get dessert ready?”
She’s been half fed by your mother who seems to be in the middle of teaching her how to feed herself.
The way she stares is unnerving, like she can see right through him. “Do you like Spiderman?”
Your father groans in a whisper, “Gear up, son.”
“Yeah! I like him, he’s cool.”
“I like him too,” she says, face blank. “I probably like him better than you though.”
“Probably.”
She looks down at her shirt, “My sister got this for me for my birthday.”
Wonwoo looks at you, eyebrows raised. “How come I don’t get one?”
“Because I like him better. Duh!”
Wonwoo makes a face like he understands, setting his cutlery down to raise his hands, “Of course! I forgot.”
“You’re bad at remembering. You were three minutes late to dinner. Probably because you forgot that too!”
He hears both you and your father exclaim at her in a chide, but Wonwoo only laughs. He should remember to sign something for you to give to your sister.
You look up to him across the table, a little exasperated but beautiful. His eyes soften, very slowly lifting his sock clad foot to rub against your ankle in reassurance. That's all he can do here.
After dessert, once Wonwoo is done complimenting you sister on the wonderful and janky icing job, your mother proposes coffee in the living room. It’s there that your sister tunes into the news channel.
“Have you ever seen a kid beg to put on the news? It’s the only place she can catch Spiderman.” He remembers you telling him that, remembers feeling endeared.
It was slow background noise for most of the coffee and conversation, and Wonwoo’s nearly done when the unmistakable BREAKING NEWS flashes across the screen like a signal. His guard is down, so he’s too quick to whip his head around to divert his attention.
It’s a hostage situation, a one man job by the looks of it. Easy work for Wonwoo, but the gun in the crazed man’s shaking hands looks too unsteady to be left the way it is.
The look you give him is enough.
Wonwoo’s proud to say he’s gotten his suiting up time down to a matter of seconds, abandoning his car in front of your building as he struggles in the backseat to pull his suit on, before letting the familiar force of his webs take him off into the night.
His first order of business was getting the wretched gun out of the perpetrator’s hands, watching him wave it about where Wonwoo — Spiderman — was perched on a streetlight.
He’s done and dusted in the next few minutes, gun caught in his web and hostage right into Spiderman’s loving arms. It was all quite routine at that point, but he notes the cameras more vividly than usual, wonders if your family is still in the living room, watching him, not knowing it was their daughter’s boyfriend they’d just served coffee and delights underneath the rouge mask.
Wonwoo catches you a few streets over, despite his never ending attempts to chide you whenever you do. It was dangerous enough to be associated with him, but following him to the very circumference of the scene never failed to heighten his nerves.
He decides to play with you a little, walking with you from the top of the building, matching your pace as you don your favourite coat and walking shoes. No hat, because you know he best recognises people from an aerial view. Not you though, he’d recognise you from anywhere.
So there he goes, swinging to a street light, before roping himself well enough to secure his descent. You always expect him to drop in on you from above, but hanging upside down in your face was a first.
You see the mask first, the large teardrop eyes before the red that surrounds them. Jumping back, you yelp loud enough to constitute your hand slapping against your mouth.
“God, be normal for once!” you chortle.
Wonwoo is amused. “I’m hanging upside down in a bodysuit, hardly anything normal about me.”
You can only sigh, shoulders sagging as you look at him in the streetlight. “Can you quit handling people with long range weapons? You know how quickly that can get ugly.”
“Can you stop following me to said places?”
You make a sour face, “You know my answer.”
“I do. Stubborn till the end.”
“Does the blood not rush to your head like that?” you ask, looking around absentmindedly, like you were trying to find passersby this late at night.
“No one’s here,” he whispers to you.
Moving in closer, you continue speaking. “My sister’s smitten with you.”
“Spiderman will be sure to bump into her sometime.” He grins under the mask, glad he’s able to gain that all important approval.
“Can Jeon Wonwoo bump into me sometime? I miss you, you know.”
“I miss you more, baby.” The but hangs in the air, but he doesn’t take it in his mouth.
Instead, he feels a pressure against his mask, right where his lips are. You kiss him through the material, and Wonwoo has to consciously grip onto his webs.
The unmistakable warmth of your fingers finds the end of his mask, pulling at it slowly, revealing the skin of his neck, the beginning of his chin, up to the pink of his lips.
You kiss him again, there where he hangs from a streetlight, there where he knows he’ll always be able to find you. The feeling of his suit, the feeling of your lips on his; they meld in ways he won’t ever understand.
Spiderman confuses Wonwoo, an enigma that feels both a boon and a curse. But Wonwoo loves you, in all that he is, and that remains the one thing he can always count on, like his webs in all ways, to be firm and unbreaking.
#thediamondlifenetwork#em.writes#svthub#wonwoo fluff#wonwoo angst#wonwoo fic#wonwoo x reader#wonwoo scenarios#wonwoo imagines#wonu fluff#wonu x reader#wonu scenarios#wonwoo#wonu#seventeen#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#seventeen scenarios#seventeen imagines#svt#svt angst#svt fluff#svt scenarios#svt imagines#svt x reader
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HE’S NOT MY BOYFRIEND — y.o
⛤ yuuta okkostu x fem! reader
How else would yuuta react if you denied your relationship in front of everyone? You obviously weren’t gonna be let off easy.
cw. smut. (kinda) exes to lovers-ish. thigh riding. semi-public sex. library sex. dry humping. oral (f. receiving). groping. marking. pet names (princess). face grabbing. slight manhandling. +18!
wc: 1.1k
a/n: yall i got a full time job and I’m doing school and i really want to post my fics more bc i love sharing my writing and hopefully this doesn’t sound rushed lol.
“He’s not my boyfriend!”
You practically had to shout it out loud for it to be known. How many times did you have to say it to get through Maki’s skull as she was constantly teasing you about how you and Yuuta used to act like two middle schoolers in love, laughing about it in front of everyone.
You wanted to craddle yourself into a ball hearing it all made you remember the soft moments you had together and then made you cringe about it in every being of your body.
You held hands and tried to catch the perfect moment to kiss but was too anxious to, spent everyday together before he left, he promised to send a call, text or at least email and now he’s back, decides to act all cool, his attitude changes only slightly like he’s all that now, he had fixed his hair to side and his demeanor turns cold. Everything about him and his current presence ticked you off. He didn’t have to stay. You wished he’d go back.
Did you really wish that? Or did you need him to trap you in the darkest aisle of a library where he caught you. Whispering in your ear to take all those awful words you said back while he’s pinning you against the tall shelf, his pelvis is rocking against yours, his lips ambushing your neck. He’s just kissing you and touching you all over, making sure you don’t escape him either. He’s squeezing your tits a bit too hard, leaving too many hickeys.
“Can we just take a moment—“
“Why should we?” his hot breath hitting the shell of your ear, traveling down your jawline. His hand squishing the sides of your cheeks to turn your head to the side to gain access to your neck. You could feel his wet muscle and his warm lips glide over your skin, his hand on the back of your ass, squeezing it and also pulling you more into him.
The slight change in yuuta was quite scary, he wasn’t as soft as he used to be. He’s leaving marks and his hips are moving recklessly. He knows it will be so much better if he could take your clothes off and be bare already to fuck you like he is your boyfriend, you’re all his.
He guides his leg between your legs under your skirt, his thigh grazing your covered cunt and his hands situated on your hips to rock you against his thigh.
“Didn’t you think it hurt my feelings when you said that in front of everyone?”
You couldn’t look him in the eyes knowing his eyes bore into you, he was looking for an apologetic look from you but you were too distracted by looking down watching as he was driving your hips to desperately drag on his thigh. He was pressing his leg harder into you making you finally let out out moan. The shame you felt when you realized you were in a public place making such noise.
“I was just telling the truth..hah…” your tone with half of regret and moans by yuuta forcing your hips to grind on him, your clit throbbing from the harsh friction and you’re already leaving a damp on his leg.
The way your words were set in annoyance and anger like you truly disregard the fact that you and yuuta never had a thing going on and this frustrates yuuta when he replays how you yelled that he wasn’t your boyfriend.
“I am your boyfriend, i just wanna make sure you don’t forget that princess” He pulls down your bottoms and he’s on his knees with his hands on the sides of your thighs like he’s kneeling to an angel which you were to him and you never thought so with all the built of negativity you had towards him.
“Alright i get it—“
He doesn’t think you do, he wants you to understand that you were his and he was yours. Why would he stop here? He’s already pulling down your underwear and your anxiety strikes at you when he gives your pussy a gentle kiss and you gave out a yelp, you kept your eye down the aisle to see if people would pass by. Your hand is slightly hovering over your mouth, so you’re still emitting small moans.
“C-come on yuuta—quit it already..ah!” You would rather move somewhere with more privacy though yuuta doesn’t care a place, he was too busy making out with your cunt now, his tongue flicked and sucked on your clit.
And it was not enough for him he had to prop your legs on his shoulders that your back pressed against the shelf of books more and you gasp by the sudden feeling of being weightless with your feet off the ground and yuuta buries his lips, his tongue to eat you out.
You cursed under your breath not knowing where to put your hands, you wanted to support yourself to not fall though yuuta would never let that happen and yet also drown in bliss with your hands gripping his black locks. the anxiousness and the pleasure clouding your mind at the same time.
Your trying your best to keep it down and your constant repeated pleas. Yuuta was lapping his tongue from the outside of your walls to your clit and something ignited deep in the pits of your stomach that just made you push your hips further into his face. It doesn’t seem like he was gonna stop anytime, he was so focused his eyes were shut thinking about how good you taste and how he had never got the chance before. he can tell that your twitching to cum soon and your sobs getting a little louder.
“Gonna cum! Gonna cum! Gonna cum!” You squealed, your legs wrapped around the back of his neck and your heels digged into his back, your spine arching off of the shelf and your eyelids flutter.
“Cum on my mouth princess, I’m all yours…” the way his voice melted your heart all over again, causing butterflies to fly in your tummy, made your orgasm come faster but also made you feel shamed and entirely hate it for feeling this way.
The moan of his name being let out so indecently that people might hear or probably did. Feeling the waves of you cumming flow through your body and his mouth hasn’t yet disconnected from you.
Yuuta looks up at you like this was just the beginning. You’re forced to wrap your arms around his neck when his hands comes under behind your knees, you still had no chance of keeping your feet on the floor. He’s already planning to fuck you with the zip of his pants and his cock freeing out, make you cry out a million times repeatedly that your his and he’s yours.
Now you’re gonna have to take everything you said back.
#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk yuta#jjk yuuta#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#yuuta okkotsu smut#yuuta smut#yuta okkotsu smut#yuta x y/n#yuta okkotsu x reader#yuta x reader#yuta smut#yuuta x reader#yuta okkotsu
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how about dark!logan and ex-girlfriend human reader. They broke up bcs she thought he was cheating on her, but turns out it was just misunderstanding and now dark!logan gets jealous that she already moved on from her
note: this story was an emotional roller coaster, but that’s how we like it. we love a bit of chaos and overreaction.
in this story, Logan is pretty emotional whether that’s him being sad at first or turning into a wild animal once he gets y/n back. of course, his jealousy is mentioned when he FUCKS y/n. he HATED how close she was to a man while he was being ignored.
follow our Instagram @ darnell.la so we can start posting random videos, photos, edits, and memes of the people we write about!
———
“We’re done, Logan, and that’s that,” Y/n said before she walked away from the man. “Y/n! — Hey!” The man stalked after her, confused about where this attitude came from.
“You’re not going to just break up with me, and walk away without an explanation!” The man said as he sped in front of her to stop her in her tracks.
“You get no explanation, just like I didn’t. I’ve been confused, hurt, upset, and left for months! You can deal with it for the rest of your life,”
That was the last time y/n had talked to Logan. The young woman packed her stuff at night so she wouldn’t cause a scene, and left.
Y/n feels off about being here again. It’s been a year, and she hasn’t quite talked to anyone since then. Of course, Charles would speak to her through her thoughts, but at times, she shut him out.
Hank, Storm, and Jean try to invite her to parties or get-togethers, thinking she’d maybe come one day, but she never does. She was in a whole new state in those times.
Scott on the other hand messaged her every day he could. Apart from her thoughts he only wanted to get close to her, to get at Logan from past jealousy, but in actuality, he genuinely liked her company.
The man texted her every day, even called and somehow, she’d answer him. Scott felt special that out of everyone, she’d answer him.
Logan was the only one in the group that had no contact with y/n. She had blocked the man anytime a new number or social media account popped up. He was desperate, and she hated it. She hated him.
“Charles said you were coming. Didn’t believe it until now,” Scott said as he walked out of the mansion, instantly picking y/n up into a hug. “Did you get stronger?” Y/n laughed after the man placed her down. “You can say that,”
“Y/n!?” Storm shouted before her, Hank and Jean ran over to her, giving her a group hug. For a second, she felt bad for leaving them all behind, but after Logan, she had to go somewhere. She couldn’t stay around anymore.
“How long are you staying?” Hank asked as he grabbed her bags, as well as Scott's. “Maybe a night or two,” she replied making them all sigh. “Seriously!? You can’t leave us like that. Not again,” Jean spoke.
Y/n didn’t hate Jean, but when she looked at the woman, she felt pain. It wasn’t her fault that Logan couldn’t put aside his feelings.
“Maybe I’ll stay long,” Y/n said before walking into the mansion. Storm and Jean drifted off to finish whatever they were doing while Hank and Scott took her to her room. Her old room that she hadn’t really slept in since she used to be with Logan all the time.
“Logan will be here. He went out to get wood,” Hank said before he left. “You okay with being back? You never really told us why you did,” Scott spoke after y/n sat down on her bed.
“Oh, just some personal things going on. That’s it,” she said. “Heard you haven’t talked to Logan. Was he the reason why you left?” He asked as he sat next to the young lady. He knew it was, but didn’t know why.
“I don’t really feel like talking about it or him. I kinda don’t even wanna see him,” y/n said, making Scott chuckle. “I feel you on that, but Logan’s crushed. I hate the man, but I also hate to see a teammate distracted,”
Scott got up and walked towards her room door, ready to get back to what he was doing. “Think about it, because my motorcycle just pulled up,” Scott said before leaving.
Y/n sighed, knowing Logan was going to make his way straight up here. She didn’t know how he’d react. She didn’t know how she’d react. What will she possibly do or say?
Y/n said in silence for only a couple of minutes before her door opened. He had pushed it open, not believing she was here until he saw her.
“Y/n,” he said before rushing over to her. The man dropped to his knees and hugged the girl tightly. His face hurried into her stomach as tears streamed down his face. She was really here.
“Logan,” y/n softly pushed at his shoulders, but he wouldn’t let go. He didn’t want to. It’s been a year, and he’s traveled to so many places, hoping to find her, but she was never there.
“Lo,” she spoke again, and this time, he pulled away. His hands rose to her face and cupped both of her cheeks. “I-It’s been so long,” the man looked into her eyes, making her feel like shit.
The man who couldn’t give her any attention gave it to her a year later. How dare he make her feel like this?
“Yeah — It has,” she softly pulled his hands away from his wrist. The man’s face changed from, I’m so happy you’re finally here, too, what’s going on? She’s never been this way towards him until that night. The last night he saw her.
“I’m kinda tired, so, yeah,” she spoke, wanting him away from her and out of her sight. “D-Don’t go to sleep without me, lemme get a shower in then I’ll-“ he stood up and walked towards the door, but the woman cut him off. “No,” she said with a stern voice.
“I like being alone,” she added. The man looked back at her, confused about why his girlfriend was acting this way. “Baby, what’s up with you? I-I thought that maybe since you came back, fixed whatever was going on with you,” Logan said in a soft voice.
“Whatever what going on with me!? God, Logan — Please, the fuck out,” y/n rolled her eyes. “Y/n, I didn’t mean it like-“ he tried explaining himself. “I said get the fuck out!” She yelled at the man.
Logan’s body jumped slightly, shocked at the way she was being. He didn’t know what was wrong, and she refused to tell him. It’s been a year, and she still hasn’t told him.
Logan opened his mouth, but the girl turned around and tucked herself under her covers. She was done seeing him for tonight. For the rest of the time she planned to stay here.
“Been a while since you’ve partied with us. Kinda missed that,” Scott said after he took a shot with y/n. “Yeah — I kind of missed it too,” she admitted with a smile. “Wanna dance?” The man asked in a friendly way, and she accepted.
The two went on the dance floor, dancing wide by wide for a while until he grabbed her hips. They both laughed with each other, having the most fun she’s had in a year.
“God, I’ve missed you, y/n. Texting and calling ain’t enough, you know? Maybe you should come visit me or I’ll come visit you,” he suggested. “I’ll think about it,” she smiled.
As Scott and y/n hugged it out on the floor, Logan couldn’t help but stop it. The man pushed off of the tree he was leaning back on in the distance and sped over to the two.
The man was close, about to ruin whatever the fuck they had going on, but y/n pulled away and said something to the man before she left.
Logan stopped in his tracks and watched her walk off to the side of the party. She got on her phone and began texting.
“Might stay with family for another night. I’ll be back to work soon,”
“So — How’s your night going?” Logan asked, making y/n turn around as she placed her phone in her pocket. Looking at the man in front of him felt different. When she first got here, the man looked warm out.
He had grown the beard but didn’t take care of it, his face looked dirty like he hadn’t washed it, his eyes were baggy, and she swore his body looked less fit, but not too much. Only she’d notice it…
“Can you not just fuck off? For once, Logan! Fuck!” Y/n shouted at the man who came up to her with two cups. He noticed she’d been drinking for the past few days, and even though he hated it when she did, he still brought one of the lighter drinks to maybe get close to her.
“But why? You won’t talk to me. You won’t even look at me. I-I don’t understand, y/n,” Logan’s voice cracked as he walked after y/n through the woods. “I’m goin’ to bed. Gotta leave early tomorrow,” the woman had instantly changed her mind about staying.
“W-What!?” Logan basically screamed. She hadn’t even been here for a week. She hadn’t spoken to him unless she yelled at him. She was going to leave him. Again.
“Y/n, stop it!” The man shouted as he threw the two cups to the ground and ran in front of her to stop her in her tracks. Last time, that didn’t stop her from leaving, but he’ll make sure it does this time.
“Logan — Get the fuck out of my way,” she said as she moved to the side, but before she could go any further, he grabbed her arm tightly. The man slowly grew angry, but still had all that sad emotion running through his heart.
“N-No — I-I’m not gonna let you talk to Storm, talk to Jean, talk to Hank a-and dance on Scott and leave without talking to me!” The man’s eyes teared up again.
“Well, I don’t wanna talk to you, so,” y/n went to pull away, but he tightened his grip. She was human, and he knew that grip would hurt, but he couldn’t let her go again. Not without an explanation, and even if she gave a damn good one, he wasn’t letting her out of his sight again.
“Logan, ow!” She shouted at the man, now slapping his arm. “Stop it — Stop it, y/n!” He yelled in her face, letting a deep growl escape his mouth.
“Y-You’re not leaving! — I-I’m not letting you go again, so, like— So what if you hate me now? So what i-if you don’t wanna date me anymore? Y-You don’t have to leave though,”
“Logan-“ y/n tried saying. “No! You’re not gonna fuckin’ talk to Scott, and not me!” The man finally let her arm go with a push. The look on his face made sure she knew he was angry, but all she could do was roll her eyes.
“You’re a dick, you know? All you care about is me talking to Scott, but nothing else. What about what you did, huh? What about what you did!” Y/n grew angry. “You won’t tell me what I did!” Logan shouted.
“Because you should already know! Why do I have to tell my boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend that giving another woman more attention than me, is a problem!? Why!? That’s not my place to if you’re a real man, and clearly — You’re not!”
Y/n nudged Logan’s shoulder as she walked by, but instantly got grabbed and pushed against a tree. The man held her upper arm, not letting her go anywhere.
“What the fuck are you talking about, babe? Ian never gives no other woman my attention. Not one! I-I’ve only thought about you for the past year!”
“Oh, is that true? Then why before I finally dumped your ass, Hank blabbered to me that you and Jean, your ex-kissing toy, by the way, were going on a secret mission?” Y/n finally asked.
“Oh, oh- And tell me why he also said that you choose to go on mission with her, instead of me. Tell me that! Tell me why you can’t tell me that you’re going on missions with your ex!” Y/n yelled in the man’s face with no tears in her eyes. Just full of anger.
“Baby, I — Baby, Hank wasn’t supposed to tell you-“ Logan went to say, but y/n cut him off with a wild scream as she shook her whole body. She was furious and wanted him out of her face.
“Of course, he wasn’t, you dumb bitch! Because you’re a cheating son of a bitch! A fuckin’ dumb, damn good-looking, manipulative cheater!”
“Baby, no, no- That’s not what I am. You never even asked me what was going on, you just-“ he got cut off again. “I left! I fucking left because I have no business being with a manwhore who can’t keep his dick in his beer-printed dollar tree boxers!”
Logan softly pulled y/n off of the tree and slamming her back to shut her up. “God, y/n, what the fuck — You-You can’t even let me get a sentence out without disrespecting or interrupting me,” he said. “I thought you loved those boxers,”
Y/n chuckled to herself as a tear finally slipped from her eye. “I did — That was before you decided to throw that all away,” the way she looked at him with no type of love in her eyes, broke his heart. And she had her story all wrong.
“If I wasn’t enough, why couldn’t you just tell me? Let me go and let me live my life instead of thinking someone actually loved me. Y-You say you’re not like any human I’ve dated, but you’re are. You’re like them all,”
“Hey!” Logan’s hands gripped around y/n’s neck, upset at her words. “Don’t fuckin’ disrespect me like that — Especially since you got your story all flipped and fucked up,” the man still had cracks in his voice. He was left for a year, all because of caring for y/n.
“I wasn’t fucking cheating on you. Those secret missions were days I’d leave with Jean and Storm which I bet he forgot to mention because he didn’t know you’d react like that — to go find me and you a new home to live in,”
“For months I’ve been trying to find a nice house away from people because I know how much you like being alone. I just needed woman’s help because I suck when it comes to that shit,”
Y/n’s heart rate began to slow down, and her eyes softened at his side of the story. She couldn’t think about what she’d done and caused, but she knew it was bad when her head felt light.
“As for the picking Jean to go on missions? That was shitty of me, but my excuse is that I didn’t want my girlfriend fighting fights she didn’t have to,”
“What the fuck so I look like having you come fight mutants when you’re not a mutant? Jean is one of the strongest mutants, so I chose her. Storm has to teach the kids, Hank never leaves the lab, and god knows Ian pickin’ Scott,”
“And y/n — You’re a teacher too, so why the fuck would I pull you away from what you love doing just to fight and risk your life? I rather thee others do that, then you, Bub,”
Y/n hasn’t heard that nickname in a year. Bub. She missed and, and he knew how much he missed it when she instantly began crying.
“Hey, hey,” Logan lifted the girl back to her feet after her legs gave out on her. “I’m sorry!” She cried out, fully knowing the situation, and understanding how shitty she is for leaving without asking.
“I-I thought I was helping myself, but I wasn’t! I-I hurt you and the others a-and I’m just a bad person!” She sobbed into his chest.
“Baby, no. Don’t think that way about yourself. I understand how you thought about what you did, baby. Don’t push yourself down for that,” the man pulled her head back and rubbed her tears away.
“Just make it up by staying. All that pain I felt of you ignoring me and being away from my arms are all gone away, you know why? Because you’re here right now. In front of my face looking as beautiful as you were last year,”
“I’m just so sorry, Logan,” Y/n looked down, but the man quickly lifted her chin back up. “Nah uh — we’re not feeling like this anymore. I have a lot to make up for,” the man rubbed the girl's bottom lip, happy that she was finally with him again.
“Gonna look back into those homes, and get ‘em ready for us, baby,” Logan used his free hand to trace down her body until he gripped her waist. “And then you’ll never be able to leave me again. Gonna be just us. No one else,”
Logan's lips finally touched hers, making his heart rate rise. It’s been so long, and his lips are finally back on his girl. His future.
Y/n lazily kissed back, tears still running down her cheek. The girl pulled back a few times to catch her breath, but Logan would instantly reattach their lips. He needed to taste her forever.
“C’mon, stop movin, baby,” Logan hungrily sucked on her lips, even slipping his tongue in her mouth to feel her inner cheeks. “Please, baby,” the man spoke, but y/n couldn’t grow that instant energy. She was still human.
“Baby,” Logan pulled back and looked down at his girlfriend. “Don’t fuckin’ make me wait any longer. I need you, so please fuckin’ stay still,” he demanded before leaning to go back in, but she stopped him by placing her hands on his chest.
“Give me a second, babe — Please,” she looked up at the man, but he couldn’t. “You didn’t give Scott a second,” the man said in a stern voice. “What!? — Baby, I’ve never kissed him,” she assured.
“Well, you were close. Too close, and you know how I feel about him,” Logan’s hands gripped both sides of y/n’s waist, digging his nails into the pretty little dress she wore for the night.
“You were mad at me and went straight to Scott. You fuckin’ knew that would piss me off,” y/n pushed at her taken-back boyfriend, trying to get his grip to loosen, but it never did.
“Yeah, I’ve been sad, baby. So fuckin’ sad, but the only thing I could think about was showing you who the fuck you talked to that night,” the man thought back to the day she left him.
“I heard them talk about being in touch with you — Every day y/n? Really? Textin’ that son of a bitch every day, but can’t shoot me a lil like on my message!?” Logan finally pulled his hands off of y/n’s waist, taking her dress with him.
“Logan!” The girl shouted in shock as she held the breeze on her. “Got me so fuckin’ angry, Bub. I can’t control it. Can’t get out of my head the days you’ve been away from me. The days you text him, and not me,” Logan had sniffed y/n’s neck.
“At least I don’t smell a new man on you. You know what I would’ve done if I did, baby?” The man asked, lips pressed against the girl's neck. “The same shit I’m about to do to you for humping Scott,”
Logan quickly unbuckled his belt and pulled his thick blue jeans down. Y/n opened her mouth to calm the man down, but she didn’t want to. She deserved this. He needed to get his anger out.
Y/n went to jump, but before she did, the man pulled her up himself, quickly pulling her down on his cock until every inch of him was covered.
“L-Lo!” The girl moaned loudly as her feet curled. “Augh, yes!Still fuckin’ tight,” Logan pressed y/n further into the tree as he bucked his hips upward, making sure to bruise her cervix.
The growls he let out on her ear and on her neck, made her heart raise. It was hot, but she was slightly afraid. He was going to break up, but there was nothing she could do about it. She deserved this.
“Don’t ever fuckin’ leave me again. Pretty little sluts like you are in men’s minds all the time. You need me around. Need me to keep you safe and away from them. Even Scott! — If I ever fuckin’ catch you guys eye fuckin’ again — I’ll fuck you in front of him. Make sure he knows how good this pussy’s molded for my cock,”
Logan’s sad emotions were no longer here. The man was full of anger. His girl left him over some stupid-ass miss understanding and then she almost left again after having a sweet ole dance with Scott. Oh — he wasn’t letting this go soon. Not at all.
“I bet when you spoke to him before you left, you told him to come meet you in your room. Such a fuckin’ slut. I knew you had something for that four eyed freak,” Logan’s hips snapped up against y/n’s thighs. She could barely breathe.
“I-I did no such thing,” y/n struggled to get out. “Sure you didn’t. You know you’re a pretty little thing, right? You know you can get whoever you want, and I know you wanted him. I just know it,” Logan’s mind went crazy. The jealousy showed in the man, and he didn’t care.
Logan was nothing like y/n. She left when she thought he cheated, but Logan could never. He’d hold her closer. Lock her up somewhere so she can’t do it again, then kill the guy she cheated on him with. She belonged to him, and him only.
One of Logan’s hands reached up and gripped her neck as he looked into her eyes. His eyes were dark and hers were soft and could barely stay open.
“Ima take you back to your room, and if he knocks and comes in, the sight he’ll see will be buried into his mind just like my cock in that pretty little hole you haven’t let me fuck yet,”
That threat made y/n’s cunt clench. In the back of her mind, she had wished Scott would come to her room for something so Logan could fuck her ass. She was so wet, and that leaked down the crack of her ass, making her feel like she could take him so easily.
“P-Please,” the girl begged, making the man that was fucking her into the tree, chuckle. “Slut likes being fucked in the ass? Bet it’s a virgin ass, and you’re just a dirty little whore,” Logan guessed right.
“So fuckin’ dirty — Came back to ignore me, and now I’m balls deep in your pussy — My pussy — My fuckin’ pussy, baby,” Logan twitched in the grips walls, making her close. She hasn’t felt his seed in months. She needed it.
“S-Such a dirty w-whore, Logan,” y/n admitted in a low and whiny voice. All the crying and hate she had towards the man had faded away. She loved him and never stopped. She just needed a reminder that she could never leave him. Even if she tried, like she did.
“That’s it, baby — My dirty little whore — Fuck,” Logan used a hand to grab the side of her face and pull her into a rough and sloppy kiss. She’s always tasted so damn good.
Both of them moaned in each other's mouths, sweating, breathing heavily, and feeling their climax near. They needed to cum. They needed to few each other cum.
Before they knew it, the woods filled with their moans and groans. The wet sloppy sound of Logan’s cock slipping in and out of her heat could be heard as well.
Anyone who walked by in the distance definitely heard the two, but who cared at this point? All that would do is make Logan feel better because at least then they’d go off and tell people that she really does belong to him.
“Oh, fuck, baby,” the man growled, lips all over hers as he breathed into her mouth. “So fuckin’ full of me, Bub. All filled up and up to date,” the man chuckled with a smile. He missed it. He missed her.
“T-Thank you, baby,” Y/n said low, feeling her vision slowly slip away, but she knew she would be taken care of. She was with Logan again, and he would do anything to make sure she knew she was safe and set for life.
#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett xmen#logan howlett x reader#logan howlet smut#logan howlett smut#dark!logan howlett#dom!logan howlett#james howlett x you#james howlett x reader#james howlett smut#james howlett#dark!james howlett#dom!james howlett#wolverine x female reader#wolverin smut#wolverine x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut#wolverine xmen#wolverine x men#wolverine#dark!wolverine#dom!wolverine#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman x you#hugh jackman smut#hugh jackman#x men smut#x men x reader
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AGGHH I deleted the original post I’m so saddd.
Anyways I wanted to talk abt this pic idk if it’s canon or just a non canon drawing but lets assume that it is significant for this analysis.
In this pic Till is wearing his R2 outfit, his mic headset and his mouth his open like he’s singing. This makes me think that he’s onstage in Round 2 singing his Unknown (Till the End) song. HOWEVER. While he’s singing this song the background is red with shooting star, meteors, debris whatever it is.
Doesn’t it remind you of something? My thoughts are that while Till was outwardly singing about his love for Mizi he was actually thinking about Ivan.
The thing abt Alien Stage is that everyone’s an unreliable narrator. In Round 1 everything seems like a sci-fi idol show until the ending where Sua dies. Then in Round 3 we are led to believe that Till never glanced at Ivan when that is in fact a lie and Till DID look at Ivan. Methinks Round 2 is also told by an unreliable narrator, only the thing that’s unreliable is Till himself. In Round 1 we are fed false info abt the type of world they live in. In Round 3 we are fed false info abt Till’s attitude towards Ivan. So in Round 2 I think we are being fed false info abt Till’s feelings.
Here’s something that always struck me as off. Here Till has just finished his “confession” but he doesn’t even acknowledge Mizi off stage. Usually after you confess to someone, you check for their reaction right? Onstage Till looked at Mizi after he smashed the guitar. But here when he is physically closer to her he doesn’t even attempt to look at her. Compared to Ivan who kept looking at Till even when he was being shot, and kept his eyes on him even as he died, turning to look at Mizi shouldn’t be too difficult.
Some of the lyrics of the song were also weird too (I’ll be using the Eng translations so some things maybe lost in translation)
First the line “I wanna know all about you” this line was weird bc how do you not know everything abt Mizi already? Mizi lived a very sheltered life, so she never had to build any walls to protect herself. If you wanted to know all abt Mizi you just had to look at her. She doesn’t hide anything at all, everything abt her can be found on the surface. It would’ve made more sense to say “I want you to know all about me” considering that Mizi isn’t aware of Till’s feelings.
Second is the line “How dare you think this time’s enough” this line is so… aggressive. Like I can’t imagine Till actually saying this to Mizi at all. Till is usually super shy and freezes up around Mizi. Could he actually say something so confrontational to her. I can’t imagine that all.
But I can imagine him saying that to Ivan.
“I want to know all about you” bc I spent so much time with you and I still don’t understand you and “How dare you think the time’s enough” when you don’t understand my feelings. You just assumed what I felt you don’t actually know how I feel about you.
(Till is actually the character I understand the least. This is just my imagination lol)
Another thing that makes me think Till was crying is this scene. (How does he look so pretty when in distress. Till I can’t you’re too endearing wth)
Here it looks like he’s sweating a lot but it also looks like there’s a tear slipping from his left eye. He even does a little sniffle which makes me think he was sobbing.
My theory is that Till was trying to tell himself a narrative in order to cope with his traumatic life. And the narrative he tells himself is that the only person he loves is Mizi and that the only person who can save him is Mizi. So while he’s onstage he sings abt his feelings for Mizi, but while he’s singing he accidentally also sings abt his feelings for Ivan.
Don’t you think it’s weird that Ivan doesn’t show up in the R2 flashbacks. Considering how often they were together growing up you’d think he’d at least me off to the side somewhere. I mean Sua was in the flashback but Ivan wasn’t? I think Till was intentionally suppressing his thoughts abt Ivan in order to make a point that he only loves Mizi. However bc the song can also apply to Ivan he inadvertently sings abt his love for Ivan and starts crying. That’s bc his love for Mizi is just a performance for the world and for himself.
In his personal narrative it is better to be the guy that loves the kind and gentle Mizi than the boy who is hopelessly entangled with the enigmatic Ivan. It hurts less that way. Till can look at Mizi at a distance bc she is like a bright light in his bleak world. But Till can’t look at Ivan because he is too bright, he fills up an entire sky with light and it haunts Till to this day. I remember reading somewhere that Till can’t escape from the red sky. The red sky could represent Till’s feelings for Ivan.
It’s where we see Till at his happiest.
It’s where we see Till the closest with another person.
As well as where he’s the most conflicted/scared.
Basically the picture of Till crying shows how he actually feels abt the meteor shower scene and how bc of his feelings for Ivan it haunts him even when he’s trying to sing abt someone else. He loves Ivan but he also can’t bare to be with Ivan. Maybe he realizes the self-destructive nature of their love. Maybe he knew it was dangerous for them to be in love in this world. Or maybe he was just to afraid of the pain and wanted to protect his heart in any way he could.
I don’t think we’ll ever get an answer. But I think that Till idolizing Mizi is just a fantasy he uses to cope with his awful life. And that bc his relationship with Ivan was uncanny and different from the love he received from his mom Io, he tries to reject even the thought of Ivan. Bc if he thinks abt Ivan too much he’ll unravel bc love is obsessive and all consuming. And Till def would have been consumed by his love for Ivan. It would have just been consumed by the aliens for entertainment. Their love is doomed no matter what he does. Might as well pretend it never existed maybe then it would hurt less.
It didn’t ;-;
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animation for THE NEON VOIDD BABYYYY
this post is for @sugarpasteltmnt
‼️‼️MEGA YAPPING AHEAD PLEASE BEWARE‼️‼️
this might end up being really long and rambly and sappy but maybe not who knows.( it was) (and also featuring numerous spelling errors i am way too tired to fix and i am not re reading what i just wrote) SO. yknow how when chap idek..25(?) came out and i was all like “yeah so i made this animation for TNV and ill drop it when the fic ends” in your ask box? so. I FINISHED IT RAHHH. technically it has been finished since i sent that ask but ohhh my goodness did it need polishing. i haven’t animated in 4 years before that and omg it felt so good getting back into it but IDFK SOMETHING IS STILL NOT UP TO MY STANDARDS. i feel like i could have done so much more with it and i deffo wanted to but as soon as i told myself “oh yeah this is basically done” art block literally sucker punched me in the gut out of NOWHERE. I COULD NOT PICK UP MY I PAD. I COULD NOT DRAW. I WOULD STARE AT THE WIP ANIMATION AND BE UPSET BC I DDINT WANNA WORK ON IT AHH. that goes with saying. i kept having this thought in the back of my head “you need to finish it. you have a wip sitting. finish it. go do it. what are you doing are you STARTING ANOTHER PROJECT??? anddd yeah i got super distracted with other stuff and other projects and then i started spending my free time rewatching 2012 turtles and omg this summer has been a mess. i have all the free time in the world and i choose to be the least productive as possible with it even though i have a job that lets me literally sit on my phone and do whatever i want if no one is there. (i’ve brought my switch to work numerous times ☠️) what i was trying to get at is the fact that TNV has inspired a lot of the old me to come back and i lowk missed her. i really missed the point in all those words up there but im here now so whatever. BUT. TNV made me make a tumblr account, i got back in to animation AND digital art in general, got back into longfics that are ongoing, AND it also helped kickstart ideas for writing. i’ve got so many stories now!! you are such an inspirational person pastels i just- every time i read a new chapter of yours it made me wanna go get up and do something. i wanted to create something. because at the end of each chapter, i would think- “woah. a person out there just wrote this. they just sat down one day and committed. i wanna do that” so i did that. just huge thank you and shoutout to you pastel. like damn. idk no words from me here. just a bunch of platonic hugs and kisses and thankyouthankyouthsnkuou for this lovely heart wrenching but also sweet story. i love this fandom (tmnt) so SO much and i think it’s so awesome how interactive you are with your own personal NV fans. crazy how we’re all here because of a bunch of turtles.
STUFF ABOUT THE ANIMATION:
okay i really like to talk and if you let me, i will run my mouth. this is the internet so im gonna do just that. so more words for you to read 😁. AHEM. so like i stated before in the genuinely scary mess of words up there, i haven’t touched animation in a while, like, 4 years a while. yes i’ve done digital art here and there along the years, i haven’t been doing it nearly as much as i need to to use some programs to their full potential. layers are still confusing, and don’t even get me started on multiply and all that jazz. shading never comes out right on digital for me, i gotta work that one out. so, for this animation, i decided to go with a very rough style. nothing needed to be perfect, i just wanted to live my little life of trying to experiment with a bunch of different things all at once in one short animatic. I wanted to do that little ball bounce thing all animation artists start with (i kinda included that with the key). i also wanted to have a go at lip sync (no hate it was my first time) and also timing the animation with the music. i wanted to see how smoothly i could move a figure in and out of and out of the screen as well, which honestly, i think that part might be my favorite. i think i did a good job, and thats what matters. the animation itself lost a bunch of quality on importing it- no clue how it happened but now the ending is grainy af. ignore that pls lol- but it was sitting in my flipaclip for god, i dont even know, 3 months now? i kept going back and forth on if i wanted to share it or not, so im throwing it to the wolves and i guess whatrver happrns happens and im good with that. yay. im actually rrwlly tired now sooo *leaves this absolute pile of words with a video attached at your feet and stumbles away quickly*
also i’ve genuinely never posted anything so i’m learning how to use tumblr too ☠️
#rottmnt leo#rottmnt fanfiction#the neon void#neon void#rottmnt#animation#literally sos what are tags#is this like ao3 or something brother what do i do#PLEASR HELP#rise leo#fanimation#little goober guy#digital art#??? idk
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Them With An Autistic S/o
Ot7 x Reader
Summary: How the members would handle/react to their S/o being on the spectrum.
Warnings: Mentions of sensory issues, feeling over/under stimulated, depression, meltdowns, stimming.
A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! This is a list I’ve actually wanted to write for a while, but I’d been slightly nervous/unsure about it. But as someone who’s also on the spectrum, I know how much comfort similar posts from other blogs have brought me! I also tried to keep this one a bit lighter, since someone asked for a separate list about meltdowns/shutdowns, but if there’s any specific reactions/hcs like this that you guys want, let me know! (Please note that these are based off my own knowledge/experience, so I’m sorry if they don’t fit for everyone)
Masterlist
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Jin:
I feel like he’d be slightly confused and worried at first because he’s not sure what to do/how to help you, but once you explain a bit more, he gets a lot more comfortable, and really is such a good caregiver when he needs to be.
Catches onto your different stims pretty quickly and what each one means.
Like, y’all have whole conversations solely through funny little hums and stim noises.
Really good at reading and matching your mood/energy. You wanna talk about the Mayans nonstop for two hours? Cool! You want to just sit silently and do nothing? Also cool!
He’s really good at normalizing your symptoms and making them seem like nbd(because to him, they aren’t) Food sensitivities? He’s got them too! You hate loud noises and crowds? Same Honey, let’s get the fuck outta here! He knows they’re not quite the same thing, of course, but if it makes you feel more comfortable and safe being your true, unmasked self with him, then that’s all that matters to him.
Really good at calming you down when you feel overwhelmed or on the verge of meltdown.
Does his absolute best to bring your mood up whenever you’re struggling or feeling really down, pulling out his best dad jokes(even if they don’t make sense to you), bringing your favorite snacks, etc.
Yoongi:
I think he would handle it really well. Does his research after you tell him, and asks you about it casually during dates/hangouts.
So fucking respectful of your boundries. If you prefer to have your own space, he’s totally fine letting you do your own thing. If you need more closeness and cuddles, he’s all over that too, letting you sit right next to him while he works.
Not only lets you rant about your special interests, but makes the effort to take interest in them and asks questions. Randomly buys you little things related to them.
He’s so calming and soothing when you’re feeling stressed or overstimulated, understanding whenever you randomly need rest or quiet time(stress nap buddies)
Keeps things like extra sunglasses and headphones in his bag for you, just in case you forget yours.
Would have a lot of fun if you have audio stims, letting you listen to his new songs because your reactions and enthusiasm are so cute to him. Makes you panning audios as gifts.
Always there to look out for you whenever executive dysfunction decides to kick your ass. Washes the dishes, doing the laundry, restocking your safe foods, etc. He would also be really good at body doubling.
Hobi:
I honestly think he would be really good with an S/O on the spectrum. Like, he literally designed Mang, who is soo ND coded like omg😭, so I think he would be able to understand you really well.
(if you haven’t seen the videos of him talking about Mang’s personality and character traits during the re-design process last year, pls go watch them, I almost cried)
Loves buying you new fidgets and stim toys whenever he finds new ones to try(he even has a collection of chewlery that he wears bc he thinks they’re neat).
Is really good reading you and distracting you when you start to get overstimulated or anxious, sometimes noticing before you do.
Lowkey protective over you in spaces and situations he knows are stressful for you, positioning himself next to you whenever he spots things he knows bother you.
You know how Yoongi described him as a vitamin? That’s how it is for you now too.💛
He’s so stimmy himself, so he would find a lot of your stims really relatable and endearing. Like, if you start happy stimming, he can’t help but join right in, bouncing or squealing with you. It makes him so happy that you feel comfortable enough with him to share those parts of yourself with him.
Namjoon:
Instantly super supportive when you told him, making an effort to research on his own, as well as listening to your personal experiences to understand as much as possible.
Happily sits and lets you info-dump about your special interests. He honestly loves seeing you so passionate and animated about whatever you’re talking about and loves getting a glimpse into how your mind works(it was probably during one of these moments that he realized he was in love with you)
Surprisingly good pebbler, he’s always finding cool rocks or shells for your collections.
Doesn’t mind speaking for you on days when you’re nonverbal.
The sweetest when you’re feeling overstimulated. He closes all the curtains to make it dark and cozy and sits with you, talking as softly as needed or not talking at all, tapping your hand gently now and then to let you know he’s still there.
Soo protective over you, almost to a fault at times. Like, you might have to scold him once or twice about babying you, but he really doesn’t mean to, he just wants to make sure you’re safe and happy.
The world feels a lot less scary tho with him next you. You know if you need anything, he’s got your back.
Jimin:
The softest boi🥺 He was honestly a little scared when you first told him, because he didn’t want to do anything wrong and was worried he wouldn’t be ‘good’ at looking after you, but he quickly relaxed and grew more confident as he learned more from you.
The best comforter when you’re feeling overwhelmed or depressed, full of quiet reassurances and long hugs(if you’re okay with those). He’ll gladly cuddle with you under your weighted blanket for however long you need to feel better.
Literally set up a little “nest” for you at his place with a like beanbag chair and your favorite types of blankets/pillows, so you have your own place to just ‘be’ and recoup when you need it.
Carries fidget toys and sensory aids like sunglasses and headphones with him at all times, just in case you need them.
Really good at communicating with you on days when you’re nonverbal, whether through texts or little notes(which he always adds little doodles on to make your smile😊)
Makes sure you never feel guilty or like a burden to him for letting him in on those tougher days. If anything, they make him love you even more because of the trust you have in him.
It really makes him feel so proud and happy inside that you find so much comfort in his presence and that he gets to take care of you.💜
Taehyung:
Another that I think would be particularly good with a neurodivergent S/O. Like, everyone jokes about how he’s weird, so I think he’d love that you’re both your kind of own unique kinds of ‘weird’.
Happily rewatches your favorite comfort shows/films with you, and speaks in fluent film quotes with you.
Loves when you fidget and stim with his hands or fingers.
If you like pressure stims, he’s a dream come true. Like, the man’s a living weighted blanket, so when you basically give him a doctor's note for cuddles? He’s never gonna let you go.
As relaxed as he might come across sometimes tho, he’s super observant of your stims and triggers and takes it so seriously whenever you start feeling overwhelmed or stressed.
It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, if you need a break, he’s getting you to a quiet place where you can sit and just recalibrate.
Rivals Jin and Yoongi for top spot in the acts of service department on your bad days, making sure you eat properly, doing any household chores that need done. He even learned how to wash your weighted blanket so you don’t have to.
Jungkook:
Was definitely a little lost and overwhelmed when you first explained everything to him, but he really takes it in stride and tries to learn as much as possible to help make things easier for you where he can.
The King of comfort squeezes. Like you’ve seen his arms, he gives the best hugs, I just know it(especially on those “the weighted blanket isn't enough, I need a hydraulic press” days)
Loves learning about your special interests. Like, It’s no longer just your special interest, it’s our special interest. He’s even studying and finding things for it on his own to surprise you with.
Honestly plays with some of your fidget toys more than you do, lol! You might even end up giving him a few of his favorites😊
Gets super happy and smiley whenever you get echolalia of his songs.
Another member of the protective squad, ain’t no bad stimuli getting to his baby if he can help it!
The gentlest with you when you're overstimulated or having a tough day. Anything you need, he’ll do without question. All he cares about is making sure that you feel safe and comfortable🥺
Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz
#bts headcanons#bts reaction#bts reactions#bts requests#bts scenarios#bts x y/n#bts x reader#seokjin headcanons#seokjin x reader#yoongi headcanons#yoongi x reader#hoseok headcanons#hoseok x reader#namjoon headcanons#namjoon x reader#jimin headcanons#jimin x reader#taehyung headcanons#taehyung x reader#jungkook headcanons#jungkook x reader#7ndipity#bts fluff
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Wht Songs Would Play in Your Rom-Com? Pt2
A/N: Hey Loves!! I'm posting pt2, surprisingly I actually posted on the day I scheduled myself to post so that's great!! I hope you enjoy pt2 and it is as good as pt1. And PLEASE leave some feedback it is very helpful!!
pt1
Parings: Pomefiore, Idia Shorud, Diasomnia x reader(seperate/romantic)
Love Grows(Where My Rosemary Goes) by Edison Lighthouse
If you read the lyrics or have listened to the song this is obviously the song that plays as he slowly falls for you. This also most likely opposites attract kind of trope. Js imagine how cute it would be to see Vil fall hard for someone who is almost nothing like him and as much as some of the things you do he may prefer to stay far away from, still he’ll think it's cute because it’s you.
Sincerely Yours by Zenglen
If you have seen some of my prior content you might recognize this song as the inspiration for on of my post. Now part of this may be my haitian culture influencing my opinion but cmon, you can’t see Rook and his love dancing in the living room, yk like that first time moving in kinda of dance when you two are just super sickly in love.(that or Until I Found You by Stephen Sanchez)
Late Night Talking by Harry Styles
I might be reaching but just think about the possibility of you guys having your “thing” be just staying up late talking to each other despite how sleepy you are. And maybe you two work out your conflict by one of you coming over at night to talk out your problem together js like all the other times you guys have random conversations to the point its js a normal thin gyou teo do.
Video Game Lover by Narraws Music
Now this feels a bit{a lot} on the nose BUT your telling me you don’t wanna see Idia’s rom-com becoming good friends with you through a common game you two play but rarely talk to each other irl, not even knowing who the person is behind the screen. You guys just vent to each other through the chat an you guys are just binding til you say something ridiculously familiar and so he recognizes you from that and he’s too nervous to approach you irl, how the issue is solved is all up to you my loves.
Can’t Help Falling In Love by Elivs Presely
This is obviously a human-fae love between you two. Are you kidding me, that title is “Cant help falling in love” hinting at the complexity of your relationship as a human lifespan is considerably shorter than a fae’s so he’ll have to live a large chunk of his life without you. Not to mention that Malleus is bound to be king of Briar Valley which the faeries of Briar Valley may not be too overjoyed at the fact their king is with a human.
But you two just cant help but fall for each other and this song plays as you two are out dancing together in the dark, relishing the relationship that you two might not be able to have for long.
Viva La Vida by Coldplay
Despite this not being a love song it is pretty similar to Lilia’s story and so just imagine this playing during like your first truly swoon worthy kiss. But not only during the kiss, the instrumental can lightly play in the background in either the learning of his backstory OR during that first moment you meet. Maybe even when he first falls in love with you.
Bam Bam by Camilla Cabello and Ed Sheeran
Fell first(you) and fell harder(Silver). You fell first obviously bc he’s constantly asleep so it’d make more sense for you to fall first. And when you fall for him you begin to do things to help him out, some are smaller things like adjusting his head so his neck doesn’t hurt or bigger things like putting a pillow beneath his head(wheter thats one of your body parts or an actually pillow is up to you). Those little things add up and he notices and slowly you creep into his thoughts and dreams and now one of the only things he sees in his sleep is you. Convinced that its one of those tropes where you say you love him while you think he’s asleep and you think he doesn’t hear and he doesnt like you back, but he just hasn’t been able to find a way to tell you as their are many plot thrown in issues that get in his way.
That’s How You Know by Amy Adams
I’m very well aware this is another Disney song BUT, think about Sebek with a stereotypical Disney Princess who just belts into song whenever, and she’s not really singing to him but giving other guys advice on how to treat their loves and he just ends up finding himself admiring the fact your giving these random guys advice all the while not realizing that the seeds of his love for you were being sewed.
A/N: Well I finally got pt2 out!! Lmk your thought and opinions not only on this post(+the last one) but some other things that are similar(other ideas for post). Ik i haven’t responded to anything in my inbox in a while but i promise I’ll do my best to get to them I js have many other things on my plate as well
Pomefiore Masterlist
Ignihyde Masterlist
Diasomnia Masterlist
TWST Masterlist
Grand Masterlist
#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#fluff#vil schoenheit x reader#rook hunt x reader#epel felmier x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader#lilia vanrouge x reader#silver x reader#sebek zigvolt x reader
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This is my first actual post on Tumblr ever so pls bear with me. Also, English is not my first language so pls excuse any mistakes I make :)
So, this whole thing here started just as a joke bc I was curious if anyone else was feeling constantly tired all day no matter how long I sleep. But it all somehow escalated a bit and I may have started hyperfixating on it so well, now it actually became a little survey.
I also wanted to mention that I only asked the artist in my little Tumblr bubble, which is mostly tmnt content, so my results are mostly referring to tmnt artists.
In total, I asked 143 people if they could remember the last time they woke up and just felt actually rested for more than half of the day.
I probably could have been more specific with my question but again, I did not actually planned to let it become so big. Personally, for me being rested means, having a clear head, no headache or foggy mind without consuming any caffeine.
So out of 143 people, 100 answered me and I tried my best to sort all of the answers after the criteria “good-sleep-schedule” and “bad-sleep-schedule” and also noted when exactly they last felt actually rested into either the last days, weeks, months, years or “???” when they couldn’t remember or didn’t mention anything specific.
And let’s just say… it does not really look good. Out of 100 people, only 18 have an actual good sleep schedule. Out of these 18 people, 13 felt really rested in the last days, 2 in the last weeks, only one person in the last months and 2 in the last years.
Out of the 82 of people who have a bad sleep schedule, 10% lastly felt rested in the last days, 11% in the last weeks, 11% in the last months, 30% in the last years, and 38% couldn’t remember or didn’t specify it.
While reading all your answers I came to realize being sleep deprived is not just bc any of them thought “Oh it would be really neat to stay up till 4 am!” or smth like that.
A lot of the artists who answered me mentioned that they have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep due to stuff like insomnia, chronic pain, other issues, or children (yeah, ok, there was just one who had a child but still).
While analyzing I mostly referred the situations to my own experience with going to sleep or rather not going to sleep...
I usually don’t have problems falling asleep but trouble actually putting my stuff away and going to bed bc I don’t want to end the day or just don’t want to go to sleep (don’t ask why, I have no idea why I am like this). While having these “episodes” I often doodle smth, binge reading some fanfics, or watch whatever I can find on the internet until I’m just falling asleep or can convince myself that it is 3 am and I really should go to bed now.
So, my personal theory about why sleep deprivation is so common among Tumblr artists is not bc they do art all night. My theory is that a lot of people who have trouble falling asleep due to insomnia, pain, or other issues are filling the time until they hopefully fall asleep with their art, doodles, writings, or whatever their creative minds can bring up, to help the time pass.
In total that would mean that not all artists are sleep deprived but more that a lot of people who have trouble falling asleep do a lot of art or creative stuff in general.
Something I could also imagine is, that if they start doing art while waiting for sleep, they start to concentrate a lot on creating more and start procrastinating sleep even if they actually get tired bc they wanna do art and fuck up their non-existing sleep schedule even more but that could also just be me projecting here.
I know that is probably no kind of big revelation but for me it was kind of surprising to see how many people here are as sleep deprived as me and due to what reasons.
I’m not going to preach to any of you to get that problem solved or smth, I have no right to tell you what to do and would be a major hypocrite so instead I really which everyone to get some kind of good sleep schedule one day and the joy of waking up and feeling completely rested at least thrice per week.
I absolutely love all your art and thank you a thousand times for helping me with this spontaneous survey!
I would love to hear your opinions on my theory and conclusion so pls don’t be shy and feel free to point out any mistakes I may have made or tell me your own theories :D
Also, if my question is still sitting in your inbox, feel free to answer! I’m gonna keep ma big ass excel table so I can edit all the results anytime. And maybe, one day, I'm gonna continue this survey and go into more detail but for now I need to leave it like this.
Ok, that's all I got
BYE!
Thanks to all participants
@abbeyofcyn @angelpuns @beannary @bulbabutt @camilieroart @cementgeek @cheesyescapade @cokowiii @easterartist @frosteaart @gemini-forest @happyfoxx-art @heckitall @hellishgayliath @holy-sweetsour-milk @icepopcider @idiot-mushroom @iscreamkitty @kovalitics @laseralligator @lieutenantbiscute @matchstique @mightyanxiety @miiukkaa @mr-doodles @pezhead @probably-not-a-rutabaga @pumpkster @sad-leon @sassatello @sewercrocodileart @sheep-turtles-and-pizza @signanothername @spectra-bear @stephuart @tangledinink @tapakah0 @tasenwiththerobots @tblsomedoodles @thegunnsara @triona-tribblescore @turrondeluxe @valen-timez @vangh17a @wraenata @zinovi768 @debb987 @dianagj-art @goatedgreen @indieyuugure
#Average Tumblr artists sleep deprivation#Sleep survey#Survey#If I had put at least half the effort I put into this survey into learning I wouldn't need to do a retake of my finals#Hyperfixiation is kicking HARD#that escalated quickly
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okay so I was reading your post answering abt ethan being tied up and blindfolded and HOLY. SHIT. 👀
but honestly I wanna see more of dom ethan. don’t get me wrong I love sub ethan but I feel like a guy like him would absolutely DESTROY (im being dramatic LMAO) you. like this boy is strong asf and he would definitely use that to his advantage!!!
in person he would be sweet, chill and shy. probably stuttering around you and blushing H.E.A.V.I.L.Y. but once he got you alone…
he’d pin you down to the bed and whisper things into your ear, knowing the power he has over you.
i also feel like ethan COULD be into kink. idk it’s just a feeling I have abt him…
ONE MORE THING
his arms. HIS ARMS. HIS ARMS ARE SO STRONG FOR WHAT? A dork like him has arms like that?!?!?!? man. i ain’t never wanted a guy so badly in my life…😭
I’m so embarrassed. 😭😭😭
literally don't be embarrassed because you and i are in the same boat LMAOO and there's just smth so interesting about exploring the potentials of both sides of his personality. bc the way he yanked anika up off the floor and onto her feet with one arm? oh my god????? he's so strong????
in public and in non-sexual situations, he's all about forehead kisses and linking pinkies and flushes pink and laughs when you compliment him bc he doesn't quite know how to react yet. but i am also frothing at the MOUTH at the thought of him flipping the script in private LIKE???? HELLO????
it may have taken him a while, but he'd already be aware of how your brain just kinda melts whenever he shows off his physique in any way, such as lifting heavy objects from your hands to carry them instead, carrying you whenever you're too tired to move or your feet hurt too badly to walk, or even when he idly rubs his hand over his opposite bicep when he's lost in thought or stretches his arms above his head.
mentions of smut under cut ; minors dni
so when he finds out that it extends to the bedroom, he doesn't shy away from utilizing it every now and then. his physical prowess makes an appearance whenever you're burnt out or completely drained but still needing a release, the muscles in his shoulders and back flexing as he pins your body down or keeps your thighs pried apart so you can't escape the pleasure he gives you. all you have to do is let yourself go and give yourself over to him, and he'll make sure all you can do is lay there and take it.
but aside from that, tbh he would also do it just because he can. you honestly don't stand a chance against him in a competition of strength, but he thinks it's cute if you still try to squirm or push back against his grip to try to overpower him. he's heavy, pressing you right where he wants you, and you can't do anything about it. the little power trip emboldens him, and whether you've freely relinquished control or are still attempting to resist, he's talking. he rambles right in your ear, commenting on how well you're taking him and how pretty you look under him and how you want it so badly, he couldn't pull out even if he wanted to.
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I loved your answer to the Sukuita anon! I’d also like to ask for some elaboration if that’s okay: when you said that Sukuna in the manga says he finds Yuji boring but is borderline obsessed with him, can I ask how you got to that interpretation/conclusion? I myself am a MASSIVE sukuita shipper and yet sometimes I struggle w the ship because it feels like Sukunas hate for Yuji is so,,, rigid? To me it’s not just hate sometimes it borders on disdain/apathy which is a lot less forgiving than a passionate feeling like hate I think? And it narrows down the plausibility of a relationship between them (which makes me sad bc I ship these two BAAAADDDDDD 😭😭). So I just wanna know how you reconciled that aspect of their relationship.
When I ship something I don’t wanna feel like the characters would have to be OOC to be together (I’m not one of those people who can soften a char’s edges in my imagination to make it fit the ship), which Sukuita often feels like. Straight up giving me ship-imposter syndrome 😭 💀 making me ask myself am I being delulu? Do these two chars even have chemistry fr?
I think I’ve just never seen a character like Sukuna call another char BORING this much before. Like damn Sukuna can’t even say he hates Yuji 😭 he gotta call him boring 😭😭 and that makes me wanna kms 😭 😭 I don’t wanna ship a fraud ship so please help me see what you see.
I’ve never shipped something so hard while simultaneously being so confused and conflicted over shipping it.
*pats pats* I can understand that dilemma. Hate is a very passionate emotion, while indifference/apathy is defined by lack of passion. How's that quote go—the opposite of love isn't hate but indifference? I'd also find it harder to get into a ship where one party outright doesn't care about the other, while mutual or even one-sided hate are prime shipping grounds.
But in this case, without any real insight into your head, I'd wager a guess that you're experiencing this disconnect because you have critically picked up on the undercurrents of Sukuna and Yuuji's relationship but are consciously too caught up in what Sukuna says.
He be lyin' though. To himself, most of all. There's a reason I specified he must be in denial in that post you saw.
Sukuna very badly wants Yuuji to be boring. He wants Yuuji to not matter—for his ideals to be foolish, for his will to wither. Most importantly, Sukuna wants to be completely unaffected by Yuuji. He tries to emphasize this so many times in so many ways: he never calls Yuuji by name (except once at the beginning and then at the very end), he belittles and mocks Yuuji at every opportunity, and he says in a variety of ways that Yuuji's boring and inconsequential.
But look at his actions, the way he behaves. From the beginning, whenever he takes over Yuuji, Sukuna tries to do things that will not only bring him joy but also shatter Yuuji, and the degree of his targeted malice only increases as the story progresses. The devastation at Shibuya is a natural consequence of Sukuna's fight with Jogo and then Mahoraga, but that final moment where he takes care to lead Yuuji to the very edge of the crater, taunting him while making sure Yuuji will witness the full scale of the devastation the instant he opens his eyes? That's so intensely personal.
And it only gets worse after Sukuna switches to Megumi's body; there are glaring contradictions between what he tells Yuuji and how he acts/reacts. Honestly, even his interior monologue contradicts what he says half the time. Both in the last few chapters of "Cursed Womb: Under Heaven" and "The Decisive Battle in the Uninhabited, Demon-Infested Shinjuku," there's a running thread of Sukuna verbally dismissing Yuuji while actively being shocked, offended, confused, and even cornered by his actions. And whenever the battle narrows to just the two of them, you have Sukuna continuously needling Yuuji to get a rise out of him, while Yuuji's fixated on just tearing into him and saving Megumi—until Yuuji's domain expansion, that is.
The crux of it is there in Chapter 248, explicitly realized by Sukuna himself. Sharing a body with Yuuji, their souls coexisting in excruciating proximity, forced Sukuna to understand and be aware of Yuuji in a way that's deeply uncomfortable to Sukuna, both because of his character and because of how diametrically opposed Yuuji's values and ideals are to Sukuna's nature. Even the very act of understanding Yuuji discomfits Sukuna. Naturally, he resolves to shatter those ideals and Yuuji himself.
Yuuji's DE and its aftermath also illustrate this. You have Sukuna outright saying he feels "absolutely nothing" about the humanity Yuuji showcased only to become incandescently angry the instant he perceives Yuuji as pitying him. There's nothing apathetic about the way he resolves to tear apart everyone Yuuji loves before killing him; he even admits out loud that he's surprised by the intensity of his hatred.
Fundamentally, Yuuji changed him, and Sukuna fucking hated it the entire time—the premonition, the process, the result. He's so insistent on Yuuji meaning nothing because to accept otherwise challenges the very foundation Sukuna built his existence on. To him, Yuuji is an existential threat, and we see it realized in the afterlife scene, where Sukuna admits to wanting to try a kinder path in life. That's one hell of an admittance coming from him, but it's also an admittance he could only have made in death, in loss.
In the end, he died cradled by Yuuji, verbally rejecting him using Yuuji's own words while simultaneously acknowledging Yuuji by using his proper name. And ain't that sukuita in a nutshell?
Even outside of the shipping goggles, they're a central narrative-driving force in the final arc and for good reason.
I do think the development of this relationship could have benefited from (a) the Shinjuku Showdown arc having a tighter focus, instead of being so drawn out and haphazard, and (b) Yuuji's DE and the parts around it being expanded to cover a Heian era flashback as well as more insights into Yuuji's understanding of Sukuna. I read or skimmed like twenty chapters just to put this post together because while I trust my memory, I wanted concrete references, and it really showed how scattered the emotional core of the Sukuna gauntlet is.
#i love my anons#anon#sukuita#jjk#jjk meta#jjk spoilers#i have no idea how coherent this is but I spent like an hour typing it out#all while half rereading the manga#welp
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warninggg this is a long one ,,,
(Okay so I started writing this uhhh vent before more posts on the n//fts appeared later so plz keep that in mind hah)
So I haven’t been too active on here for the past month – a bit personal start, but I’ve moved to a different country whooo!!!! (its terrifying) (my brains been involved in fandom stuff as usual but physically I wasn’t lmao).
But I wanted to talk ab the n//ft (censoring bc idk ab bots here) thing bc while some people on here provided some great context and threads, most of the talk has happened on twitter. So like. Since it was first confirmed what the raffle thing was I was veryyyy disappointed, especially bc K has made fun of this very thing on stage previously. And like yea, the nature of what hes doing is different than the n//ft crypt0 scams, since the cost of the paywalled content is set and not fluid and the raffle thing was free to enter, and I know there have been threads about the website not being the worst on twitter (link) (edit: now here on tumblr too). But still man. Both of these could’ve been done on either an independent website or through stuff like youtube members or patreon. Or hell, even just on the merch store? Like buy a promo code that buys you access to the material?
Also like I get that this was probably a contract that would be rly hard if not impossible to terminate. STILL though, I wish we just got an even short thing like “hi sorry I wasn’t aware this is gonna be a one time thing we’re not doing it again”. I don’t mind extra content being paywalled personally, I know some people do, but I just really wish it wasn’t don’t with that technology. And yes, I also now know it’s a safer way to handle shit like that but I just cant see this excuse being used for commercial use? Like maybe I can see why I could be made to use it for like idk an important document, but a raffle ticket? Nah
I also, ugh. Felt weird about mikke in the team since the winter. This whole thing seems to be – at least to a large extent – either done or influenced by him, judging by even the fact that the europass thingy webpage has oy photomikke marked (no im not buying it but i did look around curiosity was stronger). Also the previous thing that had made me go hmmm about käärijä as a brand was the bnb, which now seems to be ran entirely by mikke and his wife. Like stick to your photos man? That being said tho, Jere IS an adult and he IS the face of this brand. If he doesn’t think hes qualified to make business decisions all by himself (which I get, this shit is hard), nothing is stopping him really from getting a professional to help him with those things. And if there IS something stopping him then hey man I think you should go to the press with that lol. From any interviews ive seen or read, you can feel he feels this responsibility to keep his friends and family that initially helped him afloat. But I wish he understood that not letting people who in the end are not professional about business and PR and having them stick to their own thing does not have to mean cutting them off.
But now I just wanna share a thought that to some might seem like me defending him – which, in case you didn’t get I am very much not lmao. The thing is, im really glad the fandom is able to call him out on a shitty thing – like a bad baaad business decision. You can like somebody’s art, hell you can even like the public person they are, while not agreeing with everything what they do. What annoys me though, is that apart of the kä fandom, he is also often talked about (usually negatively) in the wider esc fandom. Over the past week I’ve seen multiple threads on twitter from people that rarely ever mention him about this. That would’ve been like, not that much of a deal (though sometimes it really got… engagement bait-y) but the amount of bodyshaming and shaming of his fans that comes up with every valid criticism is making me wanna pull my hair out.
Especially cause he’s neither the first finnish esc-related artist to do that (Robin and Cyan Kicks are mentioned on the kollekt website) nor is he the first esc artist of his influence to do it either. Last year Loreen and Alessandra have released n//fts last year, and Loreen did a very similar raffle a couple months ago. Now I wanna be very clear: I don’t want this to be like. Cancelling these people, that would be so hypocritical of me. I also don’t want this to be like a fandom war like oh youre mad he did xyz?? Well THIS and THIS person did THAT!!1! I’m just merely annoyed that these people doing essentially the same thing went with no echo at all, but now I’ve seen us (the fandom) be literally called the r slur and the most vile things being said about jere and, for some reason, his appearance???
Idk man. I really try to make it clear im not trying to excuse his decisions and I think being angry and/or disappointed at him is absolutely understandable. Im just angry that every single time he fucks up, every single time he makes a mistake, my timeline is filled with a wave of people rejoicing in it. I know he’s a controversial figure, he’s been one since day one, but I just wish he’s gotten the same amount of shit his peers do for the same actions? And this happens every time, and each time im like “well ig I can see why hes so bad when it comes to criticism”. Because imagine doing a thing that your peers have done with no/minimal criticism and then the moment you try it out you get people calling your fans slurs and commenting how stupid you are. Like ngl id also think any criticism was hate lmao.
Again I wanna be very VERY clear im very critical ab what he chose to do. I wish he took some responsibility – and hope he maybe does, at some point in the future. This year has been a whole lot of bad business decisions for the käärijä brand in my eyes, and I hope he can actually see where its gone wrong and do something about it, both for his and our sake. I am also happy to see fellow fans who are able to call out their fave. But man I am TIRED of him just getting all the shit (from people who very visibly fans are not)?? And now I have the proof that it is comparably more than other people and not just my bias towards him because wdym there’s been at least 4 esc artists, 2 of which more famous than him, and 2 umk artists doing exactly the same thing with almost no echo??
TLDR (thishasover1kwordsfuckshit); I wish he did better, simply. I kinda cling to some hope that maybe hey finally this time he will see that criticism can be constructive. I think this is still a level of fucking up that you can like, come back from. Pity it’s connected to the eurotour since kinda souring my excitement ab my first concert in a new country a bit :(
#käärijä#idk this is like lowkey a vent and a summary of everything i said to my friend recently#i promise ill post some photos of yarn boy seeing belgium and the netherlands soon cause yea ofc hes with me rn#to lighten the mood#the last few points were building up in me for like over a year but this was truly a confirmation tho i wish it wasnt in such circumstances#also you can disagree with literally every single point that im making but id ask to just be respectful we're in this together after all
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