#(also possible i just wouldn't care. i seem to have to care Quite A Lot for fanfic to leave an impact. but still!)
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hot take time don't shoot me. ppl in fandom absolutely love to say "depiction is not endorsement", which is, like, fine, but then... every tagging system i've ever seen makes it damn near impossible to differentiate between depictions that are framed like endorsements and depictions that aren't?
there are a lot of topics that i'm in theory not opposed to reading about but i'm probably never gonna read in a fandom context because there is literally no practical way to filter out things that by genre convention rely on the reader rooting *for* the bad stuff and not against it. why does anti-shipping have to mean discourse and not "i really want to get these characters the hell away from each other". why are "healing from this fucked up situation", "in this fucked up situation but it being fucked up is the point" and "in this fucked up situation but the writer is going to pretend it's wonderful and #wholesome" all the exact same tag...
#idk maybe fandoms with high levels of canon fuckedupness work out fandom-specific stuff#but i am not aware of any basic tag or differentiation mechanism to just generally cover#idk#rooting against the main subject of the story#like for example. i found cr*ms*n peak interesting psychologically and effective as a tragedy#but incest being full on romanticised squicks me out#characters can do it a bit but. idk there's a *line* on the writer's part i don't like crossing#i might be interested to see more inside those characters' heads. but i just Know that tag wld be a minefield. so i've never bothered#(also possible i just wouldn't care. i seem to have to care Quite A Lot for fanfic to leave an impact. but still!)
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Genshin Angst Headcanons - Why the two of you broke up
Note: Had an unexpected free day! I haven't written in a while, please excuse the mistakes, if any.
Disclaimer at the end of the post
Warning: Some are pretty predictable. Each of them have their own issues, lore wise, so some are lore heavy. You might not agree with some of them, but its how I see it, so to each their own. Let me know what you think! Some are quite angsty. Some scenes it's you breaking up with him and some are vice versa. Didn't feel like writing Razor, Venti and Xingqiu.
Characters: Aether, Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Baizhu, Bennett, Chongyun, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Kaveh, Kazuha, Lyney, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Thoma, Tighnari, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader
Personal Favourites in this work: Lyney, Itto, Kazuha
Aether
Sister issues. Enough said.
He realized he didn't have enough time to spare romancing with someone.
Somewhere along the way he felt guilt that he was enjoying his time with you while his sister went through some sort of villain origin story that seemingly turned her bad.
Top off all the adventuring, searching, solving problems for other people that he did...Where did that leave you, exactly?
"...I'm sorry, Y/N... I just... I don't think this is the right time for me to be together with you,"
Albedo
Contrary to popular belief it wouldn't be his lack of time or extreme focus on his alchemical experiments that would break the two of you up. He knows how to manage his time.
It was the RESULTS of experiments and his research that would put him away from you.
The possibility that HE or his world, was way too dangerous for you.
How many "Albedos" did Rhinedottir really create? Was there more than three? Perhaps four, five? And what happens when you come face to face with another Albedo?
"I'm afraid...There are far too many dangers surrounding myself... There are answers that I can't find...and perhaps that's the reason why my answer is to part ways with you,"
Alhaitham
Too much of a nonchalant attitude.
He expressed some kind of interest in you...but it's like... once in a blue moon. 95% of the time you're not sure if he's really into you. It almost seems like he's more into that book he reads all the time.
Simply just not good at expressing himself. Like, at all. Hides behind a "whatever works" and "I don't care about what other people think of me" attitude, unfortunately that seems to include you.
Is so straightforward that sometimes it hurts, but he's really just telling the truth through logical analysis.
will act like the breakup didn't hurt nor affect him at all. In turn it hurts you instead.
"I see. So you've had enough of me... And you only spoke up now? Pointing it out earlier could've diverted us from this path...If that's how you feel already I suggest that we stop seeing each other,"
"That's it? You're not even going to try and work it out with me?"
"What's there to work out? You've made yourself clear. You're not satisfied with the way I treat you, and I'm afraid I'm not going to change the way I act just for your pleasure... It'd be more meaningful for you to find someone who fits your criterias,"
Ayato
entering a relationship with a noble was not as easy as one thought.
It's not just about being together forever and feeling lucky because Ayato is rich and your whole life is set, it's also the not fitting in, the etiquette, the whispers from townfolk that you were too ordinary for him, the work that you needed to do if you were to become his wife.
All that was not really a big problem for you, but Ayato seemed not to know of your struggles, he was extremely busy, and when he wasn't, he seemed to think that everything was well and fine, since you were getting all your basic needs met and even more.
"...So I'm sorry, Ayato. This is just... All too much for me. I'm sorry,"
"...I understand. Forgive me, it seems that I've overlooked a lot of things...Perhaps it is as you say, that it'd be better for us to grow apart rather than grow together,"
Baizhu
because he is a ticking time bomb, no matter which way he looked it's not going to end well for both of you.
He either dies early or lives forever. In both scenarios he anticipates that the two of you are just going to be in a world of hurt.
Besides, he didn't mean to get so attached to someone in the first place, he knew his quest for immortality was long and arduous. You didn't deserve to walk that difficult road too.
While breaking up, will conceal the fact that he's only thinking of you and will possibly hurt you in the process.
"I'm sorry, but it's for the best. I ask that you continue going forward without me, there's no space for you in my... ideal future,"
Bennett
We all know it...it's his bad luck. However, it wasn't YOU who had a problem with it, it was HIM.
You understood that his bad luck was just some extended part of him, plus it's not like it was always bad, there were a lot of good times too. Plenty!
But the guilt ate him up whenever the two of you were stuck in a seemingly impossible scenario and predicament, brought on by his luck. He just had enough of it one day.
"I...I can't keep doing this to you every day! It's not fair..."
will be on the brink of tears before he even starts.
"Maybe it's better if you find someone else to adventure with, Y/N, sorry...!"
runs away before you can even get a word in.
Chongyun
Thinks he's not good enough in every aspect. It's really, seriously not about you. He thinks he's lacking in everything. Strength, maturity, experience, confidence.
So badly wants to stay with you but feels like he's not good enough and thinks that you're better off with someone else.
"D-Don't misunderstand... It's not because I don't like you anymore... I just...Please find someone else!"
Cyno
his bad jokes and TCG addiction. just kidding, you're not that shallow.
A lot of people are intimidated by him being the General Mahamatra because he gives importance to justice. While you, who had seen a bit more of him than other people had, it seemed more of an obsession to uphold the Akademiya's law and integrity.
This was not a big problem to you, you liked how he was serious at work.
Until one day when you were accused of plagiarising one of your papers and Cyno was the one sent to give you a first offense warning. The Akademiya knew of your relationship, that's probably why they sent him, to make it harder on the two of you.
Cyno didn't listen to your explanations on how it was an honest mistake, he still gave you the warning that you "deserved"
From then on it had just been different between the two of you, so it was really a mutual breakup. Or so you thought.
"...After that, I just realized that maybe this isn't the right time for us... We're both working for the Akademiya, we both take our jobs seriously...Unfortunately that seems to just be getting in the way of us...I think it's best if we stop seeing each other,"
"...I see." he pauses for a minute, as if tossing your words in his mind. "I...agree. Parting ways would certainly make work easier for both of us...it's the professional thing to do,"
Dainsleif
Has not moved on from his past.
Sure, everyone has their own baggage to carry, their own history to live through...but Dainsleif has heavier things than that. He seemed to wake up every day thinking of Khaenri'ah and the days long past. Was it regret? Nostalgia? Loneliness? You didn't know. You just knew that he wasn't really completely THERE with you in the present. Part of him still lived in the past.
When you explained that you felt like the two of you were not moving forward together and that it seemed like he wanted to go back to the past instead, he got offended.
"...My past is something that I carry forever, you'd claimed that you understood that," he starts.
"I do! But carrying it with you and letting it drag you backwards are two different things!"
He falters for a moment, only to leave you with his last words before turning away from you forever: "You will never understand, the weight that I carry,"
Diluc
is too guarded. You'd been friends for a long, long, long, long time before he decided he could let you in enough and be more intimate with you.
Even then everything was going at a snail's pace, though you were extremely patient with him.
The biggest problem with Diluc was that the two of you would progress one day, take a step forward, and then the next day it was like the two of you took two steps back.
Example: The two of you went out for a simple stargazing excursion late one night, it was nice and he had been incredibly affectionate. The next day he had trouble even meeting your gaze, and disappeared to do his work. It was also a little awkward during dinnertime. This scenario had happened more than once.
Hint: the closer he got to you the more afraid he became, thinking that he would one day lose you too.
"I...I can't. I love you but I...I've waited far too long. I'm sorry. I'm tired of this endless chase for you!"
He couldn't even say a thing. He'd wanted to ask you to stay, to wait for him a little longer, but he already knew how incredibly selfish that would have been. Instead, he grimaced, and looked away from your gaze, trying to find something worthwhile to say. There was only silence for a few moments.
"Goodbye Diluc," that's when you turned away.
Gorou
worships Kokomi too much and your insecurities just kept circling around in your head.
You know its his job. You know he isn't like that but the problem was YOU and not him.
Simply said you let your insecurity eat up the relationship between the two of you.
You couldn't bring yourself to say that you were jealous of the way he admired Kokomi so you broke up with him with another reason in tow.
Unfortunately, you're not a very good liar face to face so you did a butthole move and actually broke up with him through a letter. You just couldn't face him and tell him why.
All you mentioned in the letter was that you needed time to think and be away from him, and told him not to worry because it was your problem, not his.
Poor Gorou reread that letter over and over, trying to understand what went wrong.
Heizou
is just a natural flirt. You're not sure if he's doing it on purpose or not and you're not sure if he's even aware he's like that.
Anyway you'd seen him getting overly friendly (just another word for flirting) with a few other people a couple of times. You didn't let it get to you the first, fourth or even eighth time but you realized that he KNOWS that you're watching him do that.
So you confront him about it, but he claims that it's just his way of gathering information from others. People like to hear good things and some people are more susceptible to flirtatious comments so he resorts to that for his investigation sometimes.
You didn't really completely buy it and even if you did, it's not like this was healthy for your relationship. You just couldn't make yourself comfortable with it.
*You just chalked it up to the two of you being incompatible.
"I'm just not comfortable with that...I don't think I have to say sorry for how I feel but...I'm sorry anyway because I know you're just doing your job... It's probably best if we part ways here..."
"Is there any way to change your mind?" he genuinely asks.
You only give a lopsided smile. "You're a detective, I think you already know the answer to that,"
Yet he didn't stop you from walking away.
Itto
Kept breaking promises because he was too airheaded or too occupied doing something "stupid" with the kids or with his gang.
Pretty soon it just felt like you were an afterthought while everyone else in his life took precedent.
Got a ramen date? Oops, sorry! Got caught up looking for a strong onikabuto in the forest!
Needed his help to move some things? Gah, he was vandalising the bulletin boards, so he's running a bit late!
What's more you didn't actually mind that carefree, airheaded side of him...but it really got to you when he couldn't even seem to make you a priority. Not once.
He only realized that when he came running, late again, and stood face to face with a crying you.
"Hey sorry Y/N, I was just--...Why are you crying?!" is completely dumbfounded and clueless, mostly because when he came late, you had always shrugged it off with a smile on your face, or so he thought. This time you had a completely different reaction.
"I hate you...*hic* I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"
Shocked beyond belief. It wasn't like you to just blow up like that, but he couldn't do anything except watch you turn and run away from him after that exclamation.
Kaeya
Sometimes you're not sure if he takes you seriously.
Recently, he's not where he says he is, you don't know why he doesn't just tell you where he is.
He said he'd be working late, but then you find out he's at Angel's Share.
He said he'll be at Angel's Share, but then you catch word from Jean that he's out on a late mission.
He said he's escorting a caravan to Mondstadt but he's actually on assignment in Liyue.
It came to the point where you altogether just stopped looking for him cause half of the time you couldn't find him. It's like he's avoiding you or something, which, actually, seems just about right since he's been so busy with "work"
It reached a breaking point when, for a week, you were unable to bring him the lunch you prepared...because he was not where he said he was going to be. It was starting to get annoying.
"I don't understand why you're lying to me! Why do you have to tell me you'll be at Angel's Share this afternoon when you're not? Do you realize you make me walk all the way there only to come all the way back with nothing achieved?"
"I'm sorry snowflake, that wasn't my intention," though he still chuckles despite knowing full well that you were about to turn away.
"You know what, let me know when you're ready to stop making jokes. Until then, don't bother contacting me,"
He just didn't expect you to actually walk away from him.
Kaveh
Entertains everyone and anyone. Naturally kind at heart, will stop for anyone in trouble...even that flirtatious man/woman who is clearly just pining for his attention.
No he doesn't quite realize this.
The same person had asked for his help at least 4 times now and all 4 times he had been happy to offer a helping hand.
The last straw was when he was invited into the stranger's house, they had apparently needed someone to help them move and re-arrange furniture and he did, working till almost dinner time.
You'd caught him right by the person's door, because Kaveh was actually honest and told you he'd be helping them today, but the person was clearly eyeing Kaveh rather flirtatiously.
"Come again next time," you heard the person say rather happily. Kaveh only replies with "If I have nothing else to do, I suppose,"
"Kaveh, they're coming onto you and you keep letting it happen!"
"I'm not certain what you're talking about...They just needed some help around their house, nothing suspicious happened at all. Even if there was, I won't let anything happen between me and a stranger!"
"Then STOP helping them!"
"There isn't anything wrong with lending a hand...It was a quick move of things, that's all,"
"How would YOU feel if I just went into someone's house and kept helping them "move" things?"
"...I would think that's nice of you,"
You actually threw your hands up. "Oh, forget it! You know what, for someone who LOVES helping others, you're not doing such a great job of helping ME," then walked away and never came back. "Good riddance,"
Kazuha
He's a wandering samurai. You knew what you were getting into but you didn't expect dating him to be so hard.
He was gone for weeks on end, and you were not getting on that boat with him. In essence the two of you were just not ready to follow each other to the end's of the Earth, and that was fair. The two of you were young.
Kazuha kind of saw it coming, whenever he visited you, you seemed less spirited and he had an inkling as to why. The time apart was just too much for you.
It was a rather clean break actually. A real mutual breakup that the two of you agreed on.
"...You could say it's just not the right time for us," you even managed to laugh under your breath and he did the same, though it was barely audible.
"...Mm. There are matters that you need to attend to here...and there are things that I need to do out there," he slowly stood up from his sitting position next to you and still gazed at you rather lovingly. "...Perhaps, in another world, you and I are bound together,"
You gazed back forlornly, "...Just not in this one, it looks like,"
Lyney
because he will always choose his siblings over you. Always.
Though that's not a bad thing because you also think that family is important...somewhere along the way you realized that family is the ONLY thing he had and saw.
Example: Lynette and you had gotten ill at the same time one winter morning. Perhaps it was the cold that was passing around Fontaine. Lyney had been so worried about Lynette, that he seemed to have forgotten about you for the next few days. In fact, Lyney didn't even realize that you caught the cold too. You had only heard from Freminet, who you happened to cross paths with, that Lynette was also ill.
You thought that incident was the end of it, but really it seemed that whenever Lyney wanted to hang out with you, Lynette had to be there too. You tried to understand...after all there's still that mystery of disappearing women in Fontaine.
The breakup was induced when Lyney completely forgot about your birthday, because Freminet's was around the same time as yours. You helped Lyney prepare everything for Freminet, and said nothing about your own.
You realized that there was nothing wrong with choosing family over everything else...but the problem here was that Lyney didn't even have space for you in the first place.
So you left without saying anything. You figured he'd get over it quick. You had even gone so far as to move away from the main city of Fontaine and out into another island, because what would you say if he found you? That you were jealous of his siblings? You weren't going to ruin a family like that and it wasn't right to make him choose...so you just left without a word.
Neuvillette
Had a whole brainrot for this man:
Part 1
Part 2
Scaramouche
surprisingly it's not his anger issues.
It's the way he wouldn't acknowledge your relationship. You wonder how you even got into one with him.
There's no public show of affection, but even behind closed doors it rarely happened.
You knew that he was going to be like that, and so you didn't mind it all that much.
It was getting a bit much though when, out in public, he would walk further in front of you and refused to walk next to you. When he pretended like he didn't even know you. When he didn't stop to help you even when another man had shown interest in you, bordering on uncomfortable.
The more time passed the more you simply felt unloved...but for some reason you still blamed yourself.
"...I...don't know. Maybe you find me undesirable, or just...unappealing. Maybe you're embarrassed of me or...or..." maybe you just didn't care in the first place, you thought to yourself.
There was a long silence. Of you turning your gaze away, of him still piercing into yours. And then...
"Tsk...don't waste my time...Leave if you want to leave, door's open,"
Tartaglia
This one is simple. It's his obsession for fighting plus his complete disregard for himself. It's a constant heart attack for you. At some point the anxiety is just too much for you to handle.
Imagine living every day just wondering if he's safe at the same time knowing that he just loves to look for trouble.
The foul legacy that you know of, he uses it with disregard as well, despite knowing that it wasn't good for him.
And there are even days where you know he was heavily wounded but didn't go to you, in an attempt to shield you from worry.
It's a constant battle trying to stay sane and unworried, until one day it all just becomes too much.
"...Nothing I say will change anything, Tartaglia. This is who you are...This is who you need to be..." you whisper while bandaging his knuckles. He lets out a short hum.
It was silent all up until you finished with his hand, you squeeze it gently. "...I love you but...I can't keep doing this to myself, I'm tired...more so than I have ever been before,"
He lets your hand slip away from his knuckles, and that was the last he saw of you.
Thoma
This one is also simple. He was always taking care of others and running errands for others that he sometimes just couldn't catch a break.
Just a classic case of not enough time for you since he had a job to do for the Kamisato Clan.
He knows it, and feels awful about it. So he's the one who makes the move.
"It hurts that I can't give you what you deserve, Y/N. This isn't it... You deserve more than this but I can't give you that and I'm sorry. Please look for the love that you deserve,"
Tighnari
Remembers everything. Can be critical of things you've done, specially if he thinks there's a better way to do it.
Simply said you just feel stupid in front of him sometimes.
He doesn't mean to, but he sometimes forgets to appreciate or give praise to the things that you do well and even if he does, it tends to be short lived compared to his constructive criticisms.
Pretty soon you felt like he only looks at the bad things you do, and never the good. Though he was really only trying to teach and guide you as an equal.
He in fact feels that you are one of the few people who can keep up educational conversations with him.
The problem is he kind of forgets that you're his lover, and that you would enjoy his praise and affection from time to time.
"Do you... Do you ever have anything nice to say other than 'good work' or 'great observation'?" the words were out of your mouth before you could hold yourself back. Sometimes it was tiring to feel like you weren't good enough.
There's a flash of surprise that crosses Tighnari's expression for a split second, before he recovers. "...Had I not been praising your work enough lately? My apologies... It has a lot of merits, I just thought that you wanted my opinion on how to make it better,"
You opened your mouth to say something, but closed it again right after to ponder on his words. Somehow even that had managed to make you feel embarrassed. It was here you knew that the problem also lied within yourself.
"...Sorry, Tighnari...I think I'll need some time alone,"
He obliges quickly and asks. "That's reasonable. When would you like me to come back?"
"...Let me rephrase that... I need some time away. From us."
Xiao
Unfortunately there's a lot of things wrong here... his lack of affection. His aloof personality. His dedication to his yaksha duties. Despite that he does actually try to be gentlemanly or respectful of you.
The worst of it is that he didn't know how to be in a relationship, in other words he just wasn't ready for one, or perhaps he would never be ready for one.
He didn't understand that humans craved companionship and sometimes touch. He didn't understand that meant having to favour you over others, sometimes even putting you first over his yaksha duties.
Worst of it all was when he shut himself off from you, sometimes for days on end, when his karmic debt was too high. He only really did it to protect you, but never realized how isolated that made you feel.
When you confronted him about it, he felt attacked. Hiding away was the only way he knew how to cope...why couldn't you understand that?
"Let me help you, Xiao,"
"I don't need your help!" his tone would make you wince and just like that he disappears into a billow of smoke.
You never returned to Wangshu Inn after that. If he couldn't let you in, there was no use trying to knock on his heart. Xiao being Xiao, never sought you ought again either.
Zhongli
He had experienced so many things and you had listened to many a tales from him.
This is what caused you to realize that you hadn't even experienced life at all, and yet here you were willing to tie yourself down to him.
It just didn't feel like it added up. Here he was with all this knowledge of the world and here you were who had never even stepped outside of Liyue. By no means were you stupid, but you felt that you could be better not only for him, but for yourself if you learned more.
There was just such a huge gap in life experiences, and though you never expected to get to his level (he was a God who had lived for a long time, you would never catch up to him) you at least wanted to see what was out there with your own eyes instead of through his stories.
He understood that wholeheartedly, and had no qualms in letting you go.
"You will always have a place with me, Y/N. No amount of lifetimes will change that,"
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Disclaimer: Relationships will always have some sort of problem along the way, maybe big, maybe small but I just want to reiterate that breaking up is not always the solution. Communicating is very important. So to those of you who like taking fanfiction too seriously, let it be known that this is just a work of fiction. I don't actually suggest breaking up with someone as soon as there is the slight indication of a problem (Just saw someone commenting on a similar themed post for Haikyuu that this wouldn't happen in the real world if both parties were mature... I mean, sure, but, idk, you must be fun in parties... it's called fiction for a reason...)
#genshin angst#genshin breakup#genshin headcanons#lyney x reader#genshin impact angst#lyney angst#neuvillette angst#neuvillette x reader#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham angst#cyno angst#cyno x reader#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche angst#diluc angst#tartaglia angst#itto angst
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Is marriage in your destiny?
Pile 1
hmmmmmm my first reaction was "look at that!" yes!!! IT'S ON YOUR WAY, and closer than you think, I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up meeting and getting into a serious relationship or even marriage with your spouse this year, you're very close to having this relationship and when you met you were together the whole time but I feel that one of you needs to stay away for life reasons, like work or other obligations, so one waits and the other goes out, but you're always together energetically I think, I think one of you is an older and well-established person who needs to take care of things, especially at this stage when you're getting married. It's definitely, I drew another card, and your spouse is a very stable person and therefore needs to sort things out before starting a family. But in some cases you may also have to make a lot of changes in your life.
Pile 2
Yes, it is on your path, you will get married, but it will take a while! I would say 1 to 2 years. There are many obstacles in both your life and in the life of the person you will marry. You need to do a lot of things before meeting each other, you need to climb a very steep mountain, but I find it very interesting because it is as if you were already together. So in some cases, you already know each other or are VERY connected energetically and spiritually. It is as if your spirits recognize each other but your physical body does not yet. And together in the spiritual world, you are seeing the best way to move faster in this connection, but it seems that one of you is delaying or you do not reach a consensus. Wow, I was doing this reading and I felt a pain in my right shoulder! The person you are getting married to is, for the most part, a man or someone with a strong masculine energy, they can also be non-binary, they are a lucky and blessed person in life with a lot of baggage, and they possibly live far away or you need to travel long distances to see each other, maybe this is also an impediment to the relationship not having happened yet, like you not having gotten married yet.
Pile 3
Look, for some it's a no for now, and for others it's quite complicated. You're a person who's suffered a lot so far in your life. The universe wants to spare you from some things, because even if a relationship is between two people who love each other and reciprocate, it's still exhausting, because of their differences, third parties meddling in the relationship, adversities and cultural, social, financial differences, anyway. I usually say that there are several worlds within one, and all of this is exhausting, so the universe wants to spare you from this for now, but in the future you'll find someone just like you who will make you very happy and it will be a very prosperous relationship. For some, it's a person very different from you but similar at the same time, as if they had the same essence, but even so, it seems like sacrifices will be made.
#tarot reading#divination#pick a card#tarot deck#pick a pile reading#pick a card reading#pick a pile#free tarot#witchy things#tarot cards#pick a picture#pick a photo#love reading#tarot reading future spouse#future spouse reading#future#celebrity readings#tarot readings#tarotcommunity#tarot#oracle cards#oracle
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Don't Belong pt 1
Masterlist Natasha Masterlist
Word Count: 8392
Relationship: Mother WandaNat x Daugher Reader
Summary: Y/n is the adopted daughter of Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff. However, when science enables her mother's to have twin boys who are biogloically both of their's, her relationship slowly changes. At 17 she's ready to move out and move on, is it too late for her moms to fix things?
Y/n's POV:
When I was 6, my life was saved by none other than the Black Widow. She came in like the hero she is and saved me from the hell that was Hydra. Whilst helping me to acclimatise to normal life, we grew close, and she was a mother figure I never had. I was so shocked when she told me that she wanted to adopt me.
It was everything that I could ever ask for. She was an amazing mom. Caring, loving and always there for me. She had this soft side that not many people got to see. To the world, and a lot of the team, she had this tough, steely exterior. But I never saw that. Not from the moment she found me. I always felt safe and loved around her.
A couple of years later, Wanda joined the team and soon enough, Mama fell in love. I never saw mama so happy. They had the perfect relationship and Wanda took me on without a second thought. When I was 9, she adopted me, and I had two loving parents.
We had quite a domestic life. Tony built us a separate suite at the compound so we could still be close by for when they were needed for missions. I loved having parents that were heroes. I was so proud of them. I ended up spending quite a bit of time with Pepper when they were on missions together, but when they came home, they always had a couple of days off to spend time with me to make up for being away. It was great.
Watching them make a difference in the world, was the reason I joined the SHIELD Young Initiative Programme. I wanted to be just like my moms. Steve became a huge support to me, and alongside him and mama, I was acing all my practicals and exams.
But before that, when I was 11, our family grew. With the help of Bruce and Tony, Mom got pregnant with twins, both biologically hers and mamas. Billy and Tommy made our family complete.
As soon as Mom got pregnant, Mama told Fury that she wouldn't be going on missions once mom got into her third trimester and that after the birth they both would be taking maternity leave. She also told him that they would only ever be sent on a mission together if it was to save the world. Otherwise, under no circumstances were they to go together. They wanted to be around for the twins as much as possible and didn't want them left on their own if they had to go on missions together.
For the first couple of years, everything was perfect. But when they became toddlers, they were a bit of a handful. It meant that mom's focus went to them and slowly I became less of a priority for them.
I found it hard as I was coming into my teenage years, and I felt like I needed my moms more than ever. But I understood at the start. I was old enough that I could look after myself and the twins needed more. But it got harder when every time I tried to talk to one of them, I was brushed off, or told to speak to them later. But later never came.
Once I hit 13, I was their personal babysitter whenever they needed it. Mama told me how they were trying to make sure that her and mom still had quality time together, so had a date night or day each week. Seems they forgot about quality time with their daughter. It got to the point I was expected to drop everything to be there for my brothers. Picking them up at school, taking them to soccer. It didn't matter what I had planned, I was expected to do my job for the family. I did it without complaining, because I thought if I could prove that I was a good sister, maybe they would start to acknowledge me more.
To try and prove myself worthy, I worked even harder for SHIELD. However, now I lost mama as my training partner. She was too busy with work or the twins to help me train. It hurt when she told me that but, thankfully, Steve stepped up more than he had. He became like a father to me. I could confide in him when my moms didn't have time. Though there were still things that I couldn't talk to him about.
Now I'm 17, working towards graduating the youth programme and into SHEILD as an official agent. We have our final exams coming up and I'm doing everything I can to be ready for them. The top two initiates will get fast tracked through the system and be able to go on missions sooner.
I want nothing more than getting that chance. I need to start making a name for myself and to stop being under my mothers' shadow. Once I wanted to be just like them, to make them proud. But now I know that's not possible. They have their perfect biological family. I was just the stray they took pity on.
"You know, you could take it easy today. You're more than capable of passing these exams even on a bad day. You'll be finishing top of the class and joining us for missions in no time." Steve tells me as he holds the punch bag for me. "I just want to be on top of my game." I tell him, hitting the bag as precisely as I could.
"Have you told your moms about the date for your final practical. I'm sure they'll want to be around when you get home." He asks, making me falter with my hits. "I did, but I don't think they were listening. Although they seemed to acknowledge it, Billy was showing them his Lego at the time." I share with him.
Steve knows what's been happening with my moms and the only reason he hasn't done anything is because I made him promise not to. All I need to do is graduate and then I can get moved into the SHIELD facility and start a new life without being a burden on my family.
"You know, you should talk to them. I know you've tried, but really sit them down and tell them how you're feeling." He tries once again. "It's been years now. If they really cared for me, they would notice that they barely see me anymore. I don't even remember the last time they said I love you." I respond, my hits getting harder.
"Ok, I'm calling this. You'll hurt yourself and then you won't even be able to complete your exams." Steve tells me, stepping between me and the bag. I sigh but know he's right. "Just try for me ok. Maybe after your exams. They'll be so proud of you." He pleads. "Ok, fine." I agree. "Now go shower kiddo. You stink!" He teases me before dodging a punch I try to land on his arm.
I smile as I head up to my room. As I walk into our apartment, I see the happy family sat together watching TV. "Hi moms." I call out when I enter. They don't even turn around, so I call out again, only to get the same response. I decide to go and join them but as soon as I sit down, I'm scolded by mom. "Y/n do you have to come in here like that. Go and shower will you." She tells me off. I look to mama who doesn't even glance in my direction. "Sorry, I was training for my final exam." I explain but once again, nothing. I let out a small humourless chuckle to myself as I leave the living room. Every day, I feel more and more like I don't belong here anymore.
__________
I did it! I actually passed! Not only did I pass, I topped the class. I think I even saw Fury smile. I'm so happy, nothing can burst my bubble right now. As a class, we all decide that we're going to celebrate tonight. We've been a tight group and it'll be nice to actually spend time together without having to study or practice.
I practically run back to the compound, smiling ear to ear. "Someone's happy." Steve calls out to me as I rush through the kitchen. "Someone might be your partner one day!" I call out as I keep on towards my destination of finding my parents. "Can't wait kiddo. Well done! Knew you could do it!" Steve shouts after me.
"Y/n, don't run!" Mama scolds me as I find them in the living room. "Sorry, but I have to tell you something that I know you'll want to hear." I apologise with a smile on my face. "Not now Y/n. We're about to head out. The boys just need dinner and don't let them stay up late." She tells me. That's when I notice that she's dressed up in her best jacket.
"I can't look after the twins tonight. Our class are going to celebrate." I explain, hoping she might ask why we're celebrating. But that would be wishful thinking. "Time with your friends can wait Y/n." She tells me without even looking up at me, too focused on her phone. "Can't one of the others watch them. Just for tonight. I've never asked before. But just this once. Please." I practically beg, but to no use. "Stop being selfish and just watch the boys." She snaps, making a lump form in my throat.
"Fine." I mumble, leaving the room and head out of our apartment. "Where are you going?" She calls after me. "To see Steve. Don't worry, I'll be back to watch your precious boys." I talk back whilst leaving, hearing her call after me.
I make my way to find Steve. I know he'll be excited with my results. I wipe at my eyes for the few traitorous tears that fell. "So, I hear someone will be an Avenger in no time." Tony says as I walk into the kitchen. "I think I'll stick with SHIELD." I respond. I have no desire to be a full time Avenger. I'll be around to see my moms live their perfect life without me.
"I'm proud of you kiddo." Steve smiles at me, pulling me into a hug. "Thanks, old man. I couldn't have done it without you." I tell him truthfully, squeezing him tighter. "Your mom's must be proud. Especially Nat. Now's the time for celebrating." Pepper says. "Oh, I'm babysitting the boys tonight." I respond, trying to hide my disappointment. I notice that all others share a look.
They have all noticed how my relationship has changed with my moms, but thankfully, never brought it up. "We could watch them. Let you go out with your class. I know how much you've been looking forward to it." Pepper offers kindly. "Thanks, but mama said it had to be me." I reply. "Sorry kiddo." Steve says, wrapping his arms around me. "It's ok. I better go back before I get into trouble. I just wanted to tell you all about the results." I tell them.
"Of course Y/n. We're so proud of you. I can't wait to work with you." Tony pats me on the shoulder, whilst the others all give me a hug. "We'll do something together tomorrow." Steve promises and I nod. "I'd like that." I reply, taking a deep breath before heading back home.
When I get back to the apartment, both mom and mama are waiting to go. "Good, you're back. We'll be home late." Mom tells me, turning to leave. "And we'll talk about your attitude in the morning." Mama adds on with a stern look before turning to leave. "I love you." I call out after them. No response. My head drops. I really have just become the live in nanny.
_________
The next day, I didn't have to face my moms in the morning. They had taken the boys to the park and out for breakfast. I didn't even get an invite. But thankfully, Steve is taking me for dinner tonight to celebrate the passing of my exams and my imminent graduation.
He's taken me to my favourite Italian restaurant. It's nice to have this time. Steve really has been the only parent I've had recently. I'm so grateful for him. "So your moms don't know?" Steve asks as I tell him that I've been told I can move into SHIELD accommodation in a few days. "I've tried, but as usual, I barely have a conversation with them anymore. They probably wouldn't even notice that I've gone." I admit the painful truth. "Do you think they even still love me?" I ask the question that has been haunting me for a long time now.
Steve looks at me with a sympathetic look. He reaches out and takes my hand. "Oh Y/n. I'm sure they do. They just got lost in the boys and have forgot, that even though you're a teenager, you still need them." He tries to defend them. "If you say so." I mumble, not believing him.
"Well, I have something that might cheer you up." Steve says, changing the subject. "Oh yeah, and what might that be Captain?" I ask with a smirk, making him roll his eyes. "I spoke with Fury, and he already has a mission for you. It's nothing too big, a simple in and out to get some data." Steve explains, making a smile grow on my face. "Really? Me on a mission already?" I question and he nods. "Fury would have had you on them earlier. You've been the best recruit the programme has seen. But he had to follow protocol. There is one downside though." He shares. "Oh God, don't tell me it's with my mother?" I ask making him laugh. "No, just this old man." He responds. "Really? I'm going with you?" I ask excitedly. "Yeah, you don't need me. But I wanted to see you in action on your first mission. I really am proud of you kiddo. I'm glad that I've had a front row seat to seeing you become the woman you have." He expresses honestly, taking me off guard.
The rest of dinner is lovely, and I have a really nice time. It's nice to actually have someone care about your achievements. However, that happiness soon disappears when I enter the apartment to two angry moms. "Where do you think you've been? You've not been answering your phone." Mama yells at me. I reach into my pocket and see that my phone is dead.
"Sorry, my cell died." I tell her, but that doesn't help. "So, are you going to share where you were without telling us? It's 10pm Y/n!" Mom now joins in. "I was having dinner with Steve." I share. "Until this late. Why would you be going out for dinner on a school night? Why didn't he ask us first?" Mama questions me.
"We went out to celebrate when I missed going with my class. And it's not a school night. The programme has finished now." I tell them, trying to keep my cool. "Is this about that party you couldn't go to last night?" Mom asks. "No, actually, it was having someone to celebrate with that I finished top of my class and am now officially a SHIELD agent!" I snap back, taking them both by surprise.
"You've had your final exams already?" Mom asks, stepping closer but I pull away. "Yeah, I have told you on a number of occasions. But apparently you don't listen to me anymore." I admit, feeling tears building. "You finished top?" Mama says proudly, but I just scoff. Her pride is too late. "Like you even care." I growl. "Don't talk to your mother like that." Mom tells me off.
"Like what? You haven't given me the time of day in years. Why do you suddenly care that I was out late. Was I not around to be your personal babysitter? Or were you just annoyed I wasn't there for the one time you noticed I wasn't around." I call them both out taking them by surprise.
"Y/n it was one night." Mom tries to deny more calmly. "No, it wasn't. It's always the twins this, the twins that. I have to make allowances for them in my life and stop what I'm doing to be there to babysit them. When was the last time that you spent any time with me? When did you last tell me you love me or even acknowledge me?" I shout, tears falling down my cheeks, as my parents stand staring at me in shock.
"I have worked my ass off with SHIELD so I can get in and earn my spot with them. Where I can have my own place and start a life for myself. Because I clearly haven't been a part of this family for a long time." I share how I've been feeling. I notice that both their eyes tear up. "Oh Y/n, sweetheart, that's not the case. Of course you belong." Mama tries to argue, moving closer with a shaky hand out in front of her. I don't reach out. In fact, I move away. "Well neither of your actions have shown it in the last few years." I point out, making mom cry harder. "Look it's fine. I get it. I'm not your biological child. Billy and Tommy are. I'll always be grateful for you saving me from Hydra, but you've got your family now. Don't worry, I'll be gone in a couple of days." I say sadly before heading to my room, my moms frozen in shock in their spot.
I slam the door shut behind me, locking it and falling onto my bed. I bury my head into the pillow and sob. All the emotions I've been bottling up come out. My whole body wracks with each sob as I realise, it's official. I really have lost my family now.
Nat's POV:
I feel the tears slowly falling down my cheeks as I realise that my daughter stood before me as a broken girl who thinks her moms don't love her anymore. By the time I come to my senses, Y/n is already gone, and I'm left facing my wife who is sobbing. "Have we really been putting the boys first so much she thinks that we don't want her anymore?" I say at a whisper, my voice getting caught in my throat.
"It's my fault. Things changed when I came into the picture, and we started trying for our own babies. We didn't even consider how that must have made her feel. We didn't even reassure her that we would still love her just as much, regardless of if the boys were ours biologically or not." Wanda responds.
I quickly move forward and wrap my arms around her. "It's not your fault my love. We both wanted that. Our lives are significantly better with you in them Wanda. But you're right. We should have tried harder to make sure we involved Y/n and showed her will still love her." I comfort her.
I can't believe that I've let Y/n get to this point. The day I found her in that cell, she changed my life for the better. She not only made me a mother, but she made me more human. She made me see there was more than being an Avenger. She is the reason that I who I am today. Yet I've neglected her. I got so focused on the twins that I didn't even notice how little I have seen Y/n.
"We should go and talk to her." I suggest whilst Wanda still clings to me. "She was angry. We should give her some space. Let's take her for breakfast in the morning. I'll ask Pepper to watch the boys and we can start to make this right." She counters. "But..." I start, not wanting to leave this longer than we have to. "This is our daughter we're talking about. She has your temper." Wanda tearily chuckles. "Hey!" I poorly defend. She's right though. She might not be biologically mine, but she is my mini me.
That night I don't sleep. All I can think of is every time that I blew Y/n off and decided to spend time with the twins instead. When did we stop doing things as a family? I try and think of the last time I trained with her or helped her prepare for her exams. God, how did I not even know she was taking them this week?! "Your thoughts are loud Detka." Wanda mumbles sleepily as she turns over to look at me. When she sees the distress on my face, she gives me a sympathetic smile. "She has worked so hard, and we didn't even know she was completing her final exams. She told us yet neither of us remembered or even heard her apparently. We are awful moms!" I sigh.
Wanda moves and pulls me into her embrace. "I know. I feel awful too. I'm so proud of her though. She finished top. She's just like you." She shares. "She's moving out." I realise whilst Wanda just looks at me confused. "What do you mean?" She questions. "She said she would be gone in a few days. She must have been assigned a room at SHIELD. Our little girl was ready to leave the nest and we didn't even know." I respond, another wave of sadness washing over me.
"We'll talk to her and make her see that she is still very much wanted here. If she still wants to move out that's fine, but she has to know that we love her and always have. We can't change the past but we sure as hell can make sure we change the future and how see feels." She says determined.
Neither of us really sleep. I think we regret not talking to her last night. But our tiredness soon takes over and we get some much need kip. It definitely won't do any of us favours when we talk to Y/n in the morning. She won't make it easy on us and I don't want to snap because I'm too tired.
When we eventually get up, we check on the boys and I go to ask Pepper if she would mind watching the boys. "Is Y/n not available?" Pepper asks with a humourless chuckle. "What? No, we're going to take her to breakfast." I respond, surprised at the bite to her tone. She hums in surprise. "I'll take the boys. Make sure you treat that girl. She definitely deserves it." She tells me firmly. I nod and thank her before going to get the boys.
"Everything ok?" Wanda asks me when I take Billy from her. "Whilst we've been failing to notice Y/n, I think everyone else has noticed our behaviour. It's very frosty down there." I tell her and she nods sadly. I guess we can't expect anything less.
It makes me wonder what could have happened if we didn't have everyone else around. They have clearly been supportive to her and been there when Wanda and I should have. What if she didn't have that support, would she have even still been with us?
Shaking off the thought, Wanda and I take the boys to the compound living room, where we receive a number of glares from the team that were there. Thankfully, nothing is said, but my guilt keeps on growing.
With the boys sorted, I take Wanda's hand and we head to Y/n's room. I take a deep breath and knock on the door. We wait anxiously but get no response. I try again, calling out to her this time. "Y/n, honey. Can we come in?" I ask, but once again, we're met by silence.
I look to Wanda who's got a concerned look on her face. "Sweetheart, we're going to come in now." Wanda speaks up and pushes down on the door handle. I'm surprised when it opens but that is soon replaced by shock when I see her room practically empty. There are a couple of boxes with her stuff in, but most of her clothes have gone.
I let go of Wanda's hand and quickly move into the ensuite to see if she's in there, but I'm met by more empty cabinets. Panic builds within me to know that she's gone. "Where is she?" Wanda asks as stands by the chest of draws, picking up photos that had been turned upside. She lets out a muffled sob when she sees they're our family photos. What have we done to our daughter.
"She's probably asked Fury if she could move sooner. Considering how much he loves her, I'm sure he would have done anything to get her in as soon as possible." I respond, letting out a sigh. "But she's only 17. She's still a kid." Wanda argues. "I know babe. But when she signed up, it was part of the contract that I signed as her parent. Besides, she turns 18 next week and we'd have no say anyway." I admit.
"Shit, is it already her birthday? We've done nothing to prepare for that. In fact, I'm sure we both forgot." Wanda exhales, running her hands through her hair, whilst I made sure all the photos were back upright. Though, I notice our last family photo was back when Y/n was just 15. We've got hundreds of photos with the twins, but it's been over two years since we've had a complete family photo.
Wanting to know that Y/n is ok, I grab my phone out and hit Fury's number. It rings out and I let out a sigh before trying Maria. "Romanoff." She greets me. "Hill, I was wondering if you could tell me if Y/n has moved into her room yet and if so where she's been placed. Wanda and I want to surprise her." I try my luck.
"I'm sorry, Y/n has asked that we don't disclose her room location at the moment. She has been allowed early move in, so will be in a position to share once the other agents are moving." Hill responds. "Please, Maria, I'm asking you as a friend. We really need to see Y/n." I plead, hoping she'll have sympathy on me. "And I'm telling you as a friend that how you treated your own daughter is unacceptable. Do you know why she was the best cadet to come through?" She calls me out. "No." I respond in a whisper. "Initially it was because she was trying to be just like her hero mothers. But she got even better when she was fighting to make her own name for herself to start her life over. I watched her personality change to become guarded and her walls built high. That's what you did to her Nat." She scolds me through the phone.
"I know Maria. We have fucked up more than we thought possible and we're trying to make this right. We can't do that if we can't even speak with her." I counter. "This isn't something you can just fix with a talk and a hug. This is years of you slowly neglecting her. Pushing yourself onto her is not going to help with that." Maria warns me. I know she's right. We'll end up pushing Y/n away if we're not careful. But I also know that I can't wait to fix this. I want my baby girl to know how much I love her. Despite my inability to show her these last few years.
Wanda and I spend the day trying to get any information on where Y/n might be. We get a lot of cold shoulders, and our questions often go answered. I even spend time hanging around the Shield accommodation to see if I can catch a glimpse of her. My lucks not in and I return home deflated.
When I walk through the door, a smile forms on my face as I see Wanda giving the boys dinner. "Any luck?" She asks. I just shake my head. "We'll find her." She says confidently. "When was the last time we had dinner with Y/n?" I ask, looking to Wanda who's looking at me sympathetically. "Detka, you are punishing yourself by think that." She scolds me lightly. "It's true though. She asked when we last said I love you to her. I've been trying to think, and I don't remember. How can a mother not remember when they last said I love you to their child. Have we really subconsciously disregarded her because she isn't biologically ours?" I share my thoughts, tears falling freely down my face.
Wanda quickly moves from the table, leaving the boys to carry on talking about the latest Nintendo game they're playing. She wraps her arms around me and pulls me in close. "We let ourselves get lost in the boys. They were a handful and we were blessed with a daughter who was selfless and caring. Subconsciously, we took advantage of that. But that changes now ok." She responds as I nod in the crock of her neck. We really need to fix this.
__________
It's been a few days and we've still had no luck in seeing Y/n. Wanda and I decided to go to Shield to talk to Fury today, whilst the boys were in school. I head straight to his office, knocking twice before heading in, not caring if he's busy. "Romanoff, Maximoff. What can I do for you?" He asks, moving his gaze from the laptop in front of him.
"It's been long enough now Fury. The other agents have started moving in and Y/n is still only 17, so tell us where she is staying." I demand, my tone harsh. "I can give you her room allocation, but she's not there." Fury responds, just angering me more. "Then where the hell is she?!" I shout, only calming down when I feel Wanda squeeze my hand. "She's on a mission. She'll back tomorrow." He responds nonchalantly.
"A mission? She's 17 Fury! How is she already going on a mission?!" Wanda responds before I even manage to direct my own anger into words. "She is almost 18 and finished top of her class. You knew that was a possibility when you signed her up Romanoff. She has the potential to be the best agent we've seen. She is ready." Fury retorts, but I'm still not happy. "She's just a kid, she could get hurt." I growl, worry taking over me.
"Natasha, she is far from the kid you think she is. If you still trained with her, you'd see that she can almost beat Steve in hand to hand combat and her weapons skill matches your own, if not better in some instances." He points out and I realise how little I actually know my daughter right now. "Look, I'll keep you posted when she's back." Fury concedes after a moment silence.
"Thank you. Is she on her own?" I ask but he shakes his head. "Steve went to be on comms." He replies and that puts my mind at ease a little. He loves her like his own, he'll do everything that he can to protect her. "Ok. Thank you." I say, taking Wanda's hand a heading home.
"We've missed so much Nat. Y/n used to tell us everything about her training and classes. We've created an environment where she doesn't feel like she can share with us anymore. She was probably so excited to get a chance on her first mission. But instead of us being with her and making sure she's prepared, we didn't even know she had gone." Wanda agonises.
"I'm worried that we may not be able to fix this. If her walls have gone up, they'll be near impossible to knock them down." I sigh. "You had walls once. What helped you to let them down?" Wanda asks. "Y/n." I respond, my gaze dropping to my hands. "Then we find away to be the same for her." Wanda tries to comfort me. But how can the people that caused her this pain, be the ones to pull her through.
The next morning is quiet whilst we get the boys ready for school. They asked this morning where Y/n was and that they missed her. It broke my heart. Because of our actions, not only is Y/n feeling alone, isolated, and not part of this family, but her brother might lose the chance of having their sister in their lives.
When we get home, we end up just sat waiting for any news that Y/n is on her way home so we can greet her. I want to be able to hear all about how her first mission went and actually be apart of something so special to her. I may not have shown it, but I've always been proud of her. She is talented and I loved training with her. I had always planned to join her again once the twins were old enough. But I didn't and it seems that I have missed out on so much.
Whilst I'm preparing lunch, I hear Friday's alarm go off and my ears tune in. "Emergency medical team to the landing bay. Emergency medical team to the landing bay." I don't even think before I'm dropping the knife onto the countertop. I go to call for Wanda, but she rushes in from the bedroom. "Something's wrong with Jess. I can feel it." She says worriedly. "Let's go." I say, taking her hand and rushing through the compound to get to the landing bay.
Cho is waiting, along with a nursing staff. "Is it Y/n?" I ask as we come to a halt next to her. It feels like an age before she responds. A small nod of the head breaks my heart. "H-how bad?" Wanda asks, a tremble to her voice. "Steve confirmed a gunshot wound. She's lost a lot of blood." She responds. I run my hand through my hair, my stomach in knots.
It feels like the world around me has become muffled. I don't hear the orders that Cho is giving her team. Had I been able to, maybe I would have known more about her condition. My chest feels tight at the thought of her being hurt and the chance that she might not make it.
It's not until a pair of hands cup my face, that I zone back into the environment around me. "Breathe for me baby." Wanda's shaking voice tries to calm me. But the complete fear in her own eyes doesn't do much to help. We're facing losing our daughter and she doubts the depths of our love for her.
I do my best to bring myself out of this panic attack. I can't be a broken version of myself. My wife and family need me more than ever. If I can't pull through now, I'm not worthy to be a mother. "That's it detka. Deep breathes." Wanda guides me. I take one more deep breath and stand straighter. This isn't about me.
I can see a frown on Wanda's face form as she sees me put up my own walls. I know that she hates when I do this, but it's the only way I know how to get through what's about to happen without completely breaking down.
It's not long until the QuinJet comes into sight and slowly starts to descend on to the landing pad. I feel like I'm holding my breath as we wait for the ramp to lower, and we can see how bad this is. My heart is thumping against my chest as it begins to lower, and I see Steve's face first.
Cho and her team move forward, a bed waiting, whilst Wanda and I hold back. I want to be by her side straight away, but I also know that we'll just be a hinderance to her care if we insist on being with her.
When we get a full view of Steve, I hear Wanda let out a sob beside me. He's holding our unconscious daughter in his arms. His own suit is covered in blood and my eyes instantly land on the blooded dressing on her stomach. "I tried to staunch the bleeding as best I could. But it just kept coming." Steve explains. I've never seen him so shaken up before.
He places Y/n on the hospital bed and moves out the way, before staring at his bloodied hands. Cho doesn't wait before rushing Y/n off to the medical bay, the three of us closely following behind.
"Is she going to be ok?" I ask as they start to get to work. But before she has a chance to respond, the machines start to go crazy and they move even faster to help my daughter. "I can't answer that right now Agent Romanoff. I need to focus on Y/n, but I promise I'll keep you updated." Cho says, her polite way of telling us to leave. I'm reluctant, knowing that in this moment, Y/n is on the verge of life or death. But with a subtle tug of my hand from Wanda, I follow to watch through the window outside.
My gaze doesn't leave my daughter as I watch over as the team work to save her life. I don't notice that another person has joined us until I hear a bang from behind me. My head shoots around where I see Steve pinning Fury to the wall. "You told us it was empty! That all she needed was to get to the drive and out again." Steve growls at Fury who's holding his hand up in surrender. "I know." He responds, but Steve isn't happy when he slams him against the wall again.
"Then why the hell is she led in that hospital fighting for her life. There was a whole guard waiting for her!" Steve yells. This information makes the anger inside me grow. "You sent her into an ambush?!" I join in now, furious that he has put my daughter in danger.
"I didn't know! I'm as surprised as you are." Fury tries to explain, but Steve isn't letting up. "Talk!" Steve spits. "I had an agent scout the base for two weeks! Every report was how there was no activity. I would never have sent her had I know there was any more risk. It was supposed to be an easy mission for her first." Fury explains.
I can see the honesty in his eyes, and I know Steve does too. Fury has been like family to Y/n and I do trust he would never willingly put her in unnecessary danger. "So, either Hydra suddenly decided to man the base or..." Steve starts. "The agent tipped them off." I finish off as Fury nods. "I've detained the agent, and he broke within minutes. It was a perfect opportunity for them to fight you without back up." Fury shares as Steve lets him go. "Except I wasn't meant to go in. So, they were faced with Y/n." Steve concludes.
"I'm sorry Nat. I really am. I never would put Y/n in danger like that. I wanted her to have a successful first mission. One that would build her confidence." Fury apologises with a sincerity that he rarely shows. "I want to see him." I state firmly, to which Fury sighs. "Me too. It's because of him that our daughter is fighting for her life." Wanda steps beside me, her eyes glowing red. "Not now, not while you're both angry and worried." Fury refuses. "He could be the reason my daughter dies!" I shout at him, but he doesn't budge. "And he'll also be the reason I have to arrest you for killing him. If it's not you it'll be Wanda. I'm not letting either of you do that." Fury once again declines.
In a huff, I drop to the seat in the waiting room, my head falling into my hands. He's right. I will kill him if I get my hands on him. "Be here for Y/n. She needs you now more than ever. Leave the rest to me. I can promise that he will not get away with it." Fury orders, the formality coming back into his tone. We all reluctantly agree, and he leaves content that, for now, a homicide will not be occurring.
"What happened?" I ask Steve when the silence becomes almost unbearable. He takes the seat next to me and his gaze falls to his blooded hands. "It was meant to be a simple mission to test her hacking. I was in the QuinJet for support, and she was to go in, get to the mainframe computer and download as much data as possible." He starts and I nod along. "It was going fine, and she was doing everything by the book, clearing each room one by one. Part of me was sure she would be just like you and be impatient to get what she needed." He shares, with a small smile, making me chuckle. "Thankfully, she's a far better agent than I am." I respond, feeling Wanda's hand interlink with mine.
"It was as she got to the second floor, she said something felt off. It was warmer and it didn't smell as damp and musty. She said there were signs that this floor had been used recently. Knowing the risk that could entail, I told her to pull back and we'd get a team to help us clear the base. It wasn't something we should be doing on our own." He continues to explain, my anger towards the double agent increasing by the minute. But I also feel pride at how she was able to establish that something was wrong.
"She did as I ordered, but she was ambushed on her way out. I was already on my way in to meet her when I heard gunshots start. By the time I reached her, all the agents were down around her, but an alarm was blaring, and I knew others would be on their way. I grabbed at Y/n's arm, but she didn't move. As I moved in front of her, it was then I saw where her gaze was fixed. She's been hit. I got her out of there as quickly as I could and set the QuinJet to fly on autopilot. I tried everything that I could to stop the bleeding, but there was just so much. I-I...." Steve starts to crumble as he aggressively rubs at the blood on his hands.
I reach out and place my hands over his, stopping his actions. "I know you would have done everything you could Steve. We don't blame you. I'm so grateful that you were there to help our daughter." I try to reassure him. "I'm going to clean up. I can't sit here with...this on my hands any longer." Steve says, standing up holding his hands out in front of him.
Silence falls again when it's just Wanda and me. I want to look through the window again, but I don't think I can see them working on her. If she dies, I can't watch that. She looked so small as Steve laid her on the bed. "I had always hoped I'd be with her on her first mission." I speak up, guilt building once again. "Hmm" Wanda responds, turning to look at me. "When we used to train together, I always knew she would be one of the best the agency we would see. I couldn't wait to work along side her. My pride was overwhelming." I share as Wanda smiles softly at me.
"What happened? Why did I let myself lose sight of her. I have no excuse for treating her how I did. When I adopted her, I promised that she would always be loved and safe. Look at her now. I wouldn't blame her if she never forgives me." I lament, tears stinging my eyes. "It wasn't just you babe. We both have done wrong by Y/n and it's not forgivable. But we can work to earn her trust back and be the mothers that she deserves." She tries to comfort me.
"What if she doesn't make it and we don't have a chance to make things right? Or she does make it through, but she wants nothing to do with us?" I question in a panic. "I think she always hoped you'd eventually pull your heads out your asses." Steves voice takes us both by surprise as he rejoins us in a pair of sweats and a hoody. "What do you mean?" I ask, confused.
"Fury loves that kid. If she had asked to move out sooner, he would have allowed her too. I think part of her didn't want to go just in case you started being the loving and caring mothers you once were. Ultimately, she was still a kid and desperate to still have you in her life." He clarifies. "But she had already gone. We blew our last shot." Wanda speaks up. "Maybe you're right. But if anyone is worth fighting for. It's her." Steve points out and I couldn't agree more. I know that I'll do anything in my power to make things right and hopefully prove to my daughter that I love her more than I can express.
After hours of waiting, too scared to even glance through the window, Cho comes out of the medical room with a solemn look, and it feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room. I feel my breathing pick up once again, the thought of not being able to fix everything with Y/n becomes suffocating. It's not until Wanda grasps my hand that I find myself zoning back in.
"H-how is s-she?" I find myself asking in a quiet, unsure voice. Cho sighs and takes the seat opposite us, her hands interlocked. "Y/n suffered a gunshot wound to her abdomen. The bullet went straight through her liver. We were required to remove part of her liver, to ensure we saved her life. This was harder with the amount of blood that she lost. However, we were able to stabilise her before repairing the damage done to her liver." She explains.
"So, she's going to be, ok?" Wanda asks to clarify. "It's going to be touch and go. She's extremely weak right now and the next couple of days are going to be critical to her recovery. If she can pull through these next few days, I believe she'll make a full recovery. Though it'll take a lot of rehab to adjust to the changes to her body." Cho confirms.
I let out a small sob, knowing that she can pull through this. I have to believe that she will make it through these next few days, and we can be there to support her through her recovery. "Will she be able to return to full field duties?" Steve asks, clearly agitating Wanda. "Really Steve. That's what you're concerned about right now?" She snaps.
He turns to look at us and I know exactly why he's asking. "The SHIELD programme is everything to Y/n. To lose it after only just achieving it, that will crush her." Steve defends. "I think she would rather be alive right now." Wanda snaps back. "You just don't want to face that the honest truth is that without this programme, Y/n will feel like she has nothing, and I hate to say it, but she won't be too happy about being alive." Steve shares, an angry, yet sad look on his face.
Wanda goes to argue back, a look of hurt washing over her face. But I hold my hand up to stop her. "He's right my love." I interrupt her, making her snap her head to me. "SHIELD was the only family she thought that she had after she believed that she didn't belong in this family anymore. It will break her if she can't carry on what she worked so hard to achieve." I admit sadly.
I lock eyes with Wanda, and I see her heartbreak even further, if that's possible. "It'll take time and a lot of hard work, but I believe that Y/n would be able to return to full duties within SHIELD." Cho chips in, reminding us all that she was still in the room. "But first, she needs to get through the next few days." She reiterates, making all of us nod.
"Can we see her?" I ask, desperate to be with her and to hold her hand. "Of course. I'll be in my office, but the nursing staff will monitor her hourly." She smiles at us and leaves us to it. I take Wanda's hand and lead her towards the door and slowly push the door open. I let out a gasp when I see my little girl led in bed. She has a tube down her throat and wires attached to so many machines.
I've seen many people in this situation. But when it's your own daughter, there aren't words to describe the pain you feel. How helpless you are to make them better. All you can do is sit and watch as you wait for fate to take its course. Praying that you get your daughter back.
I instantly move to take a seat next to her bed, taking her hand in mine and holding it tightly. I notice the bruising to her knuckles, showing she fought. It brings a small smile of pride to my face.
Wanda goes to the opposite side of the bed and gently places her hand on Y/n's head. "I'm so sorry moya Lyubov." She whispers, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead. "We promise we're going to make things right. We are so sorry that you ever felt like you didn't belong in this family. You'll never doubt this again!" I make promise to her now, one that I will repeat when she wakes up. Because she will wake up.
Part 2
#marvel fanfiction#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff x y/n#avengers fanfiction#marvel#avengers#wanda maximoff x y/n#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff fanfiction#wanda maximoff#wandanat#wandanat x reader
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I NEED YOU EXCITED, I DON'T WANNA FIGHT IT | Y. OKKOTSU
✵ tags ; established relationship, friends to lovers, afab +fem!reader, forward!reader, back and forth power dynamics, dry-humping, hickies / marking, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, riding. fingering, dirty talk, 18+
✵ wc ; 7.3k (good lord)
✵ a/n ; written with my beloved @princess-okkotsu in mind!! i hope i did your boy justice </3 and thank u for everything literally wouldn't have passed chem w/o you
so not used to have such little warnings on a fic. lol. title is from fire and desire by drake.
✵ synopsis ; yuta wants to do right by you which is why he's so determined to take your relationship slowly. well, he tries too, anyway.
Yuta Okkotsu is a believer of doing things the right way.
He repeats this to himself like a mantra as he hangs out alone in your bedroom. He closes his eyes, elbows resting on the little table, face buried in his palms. Maybe it’s closer to a form of manifestation - like if he says it with enough hooplah it will mean something more than a jumble of words and syllables.
He must clarify that he is trying to do the right thing right now. He is trying so very hard to do the right thing because Yuta Okkotsu wants to remain righteous where possible.
It’s part of his job as a sorcerer, now well into his 20’s and more conscious of the world around him. He’s strong enough to put his money where his mouth is and experienced enough to know that trying to maintain some ethical code is part of staying alive in this business.
And it’s not that Yuta considers himself particularly upright. His friends and colleagues often tell him that he’s a bit unhinged and hard to get a read on. His morals might not always align with greater society, but he never does something that goes against his own beliefs. A lot of which can be summarized quite easily ; anything to defend his comrades.
It really is so important for Yuta to try and be civil in these aspects. Lest he fall into something truly dark. Even he knows what he’s capable of, at least a little.
That’s why he’s left with no choice than burying all of his thoughts of you and using every ounce of energy he has to suppress it as deep as it can go
You know, with all the love that’s influenced his life and all of the years he’s spent learning to be less timid - none of it seems to matter when it comes down to you and him. The logistics of a relationship and the idea of one are two very different things. When it comes to your relationship, he’s been keen in adhering to his strict timeline of milestones. First date, first hand-holding, first deep kiss. It’s a matter of honoring you - because before being boyfriend and girlfriend, you were Yuta’s comrade and companion. Before your relationship status, you're his cherished and valued person.
So because he’s chivalrous. Because he’s romantic. Because he cares about you.
And also because the sheer magnitude of his desires for you perpetually leaves him in a state of distress and disarray. It’s all of the above, all at the same time. And sometimes it leaves him a little overwhelmed.
He barely manages in his daily life but this? This is torturous.
Being in your bedroom unprompted is destroying every ounce of self-restraint he’s built through these last three months. He’s made it through your relentless bullying without giving into his Earthly desires.
It’s just too ideal in a way, being in here. Everything feels like you. There’s pictures of your friends and family around the room. Everything has your scent. Your clothes are littered on the floor and hung over the back of your desk-chair. It’s so you and Yuta loves you and he’s not going to survive being in here despite it all.
It’s embarrassing. Yuta is not the timid teenager he once was. But for all the ways he’s good at standing his ground, his demeanor is all but worthless when it comes down to you.
You’re a few years his senior and you’ve always been a slippery character. He’s enriched by your curiosity of the world. You’re a researcher and archivist of cursed information, coming out of the Kyoto branch. You have plenty of accolades and always manage to teach him something new and come out of difficult things on top.
Mostly, Yuta recognizes all of the good in your heart. He really thinks very highly of you.
There was an obvious passion for your work that Yuta was endeared by in the initial stages of your relationship. Plus you were easy to talk to. You’ve been a good friend to Yuta for years now, ever since you called on him to do some research on him and Rika. And, as the years passed you became closer until one night it hit him that his feelings of admiration were a little closer to something like love.
And with big, wet tears in his eyes (and a fair bit of liquor in his system) he blubbered about his feelings for you. He isn’t sure what reaction he was expecting at the time. You were happy which was great, but there was also something so lax about it all. Yuta remembers it so vividly. The way you waltzed up to him, tucked some hair behind his ears and kissed him gingerly with all the confidence in the world. Like it mattered but it didn’t. Like nothing could be more obvious than your feelings for each other.
“I’m pretty crazy about you too, Okkotsu-san.”
After asking if that meant you were dating like the bumbling, lovesick fool he is - you officially began going out as a couple. And at first, it was smooth sailing. It wasn’t too different from your usual hangouts.
Eventually though, you had pointed out that it doesn’t really feel like you were dating. Suggested that maybe sleeping together would help break the ice a little. That was what started this moral dilemma.
Being honest, it wasn’t like Yuta hadn’t considered it. What thoughts he cooked up while alone in the sanctity of his bedroom is between him and the heavens only. It was just the way you suggested it. You saying it made it all feel so real. And Yuta wasn’t sure how to deal with that. He wants to cherish you so much that he felt like he couldn’t consider your offer too lightly.
And he told you as much, hand in yours and red-faced to which you only blew some hair out of his eyes and laughed. A simple okay, a nod, and a kiss.
Of course, if everything had been smooth sailing this would be a different thing altogether. While Yuta had declined sleeping with you too soon, you had absolutely no plans to make his life easy. He’s not sure how much of it is on purpose. Knowing you, probably a lot. You’re a smart girl, after all.
So all of your bending over and tongue kissing before going home and selfies that just border on boudoir are probably very purposeful. But he’s endured it all. He should cherish you more. He’s been determined to not give in.
The fact he’s all but ready to blow his load over just being in your room makes him feel pathetic. And maybe he is, a little. But only for you.
Yuta likes to think of himself as a collected individual. Really. He knows being this worked up over something as innocuous as his girlfriends room is ridiculous. He knows he’s being ridiculous.
But he really, really wants to uphold his beliefs here. So he’s stiff, sitting with his hands clasped and holding it together just barely.
He practically jumps out of his skin when you return to your room with a tray of refreshments.
“Woah, Yuta. You okay?”
He turns around to look at you. A mistake, apparently. His eyes land on the sight of your bare legs before he forces himself to meet your eyes. You’re so pretty to him. Always so beautiful without any effort.
“Huh? Yeah. Sorry, just got lost in thought.”
You put the tray down on the table in front of him before sitting on the edge of your bed - facing him. The distance between you is minimal. You reach out to pet the top of his head with the palm of your hand, scratching his jaw tenderly. Yuta feels loved by the touch.
“You sure? Looks like you saw a ghost.”
Your genuine worry makes his spine feel like it’ll melt. He puts his hands over yours, rubbing his cheek against your palm.
“Promise I’m okay. Just—it's nothing serious.”
“Mm. Even if it’s nothing serious, I wanna know what stuff you’re worried about, ‘kay? So tell me if you want.”
He feels unsteady but so happy.
“Thank you, my love.”
“Yeah, of course. You wanna keep sitting on the floor or…?”
The minute you ask him, he feels the hair stand up on his neck.
“The bed…?”
You give him a look of confusion before you break out into a knowing grin.
“Oh, I forgot. I mean to remain chaste, my liege. Just wanna cuddle a bit.”
“Are you making fun of me?” He asks, not masking the pout in his voice.
You tilt your head to one side, leaning back on your palms.
“A little,” You say mischievously, shrugging “I’m used to your lifestyle of celibacy.”
He frowns at you. “It’s not like that, I just want to—“
“I just want to cherish you because I love you and want you for more than sex yadda yadda yadda. I know. And I respect your wishes even if I think it’s silly.” You say, taking the words right out of his mouth. His frown deepens.
“It’s not silly to me.” He says, almost petulantly. At this, you grab his face in your hands which catches him off-guard. You knock your forehead against his, bent over to do it.
“I know that too, you dummy. The point is that I’m not trying to get in your pants right now.”
He can’t help but smile, pulling away to kiss at your wrist. You giggle.
“Well, what do you want?”
“To be wrapped up in each other like otters.”
“So romantic.”
“Right? So get up here.”
He gives in sooner rather than later. You scoot till your back is along the wall next to your bed and Yuta wastes no more time in joining you. Your bed is crazy comfortable. Just laying it in makes him want to fall asleep almost immediately. He gets cozy before directing his gaze to you in front of him. He feels like he’s gonna throw up and the only thing that’ll come out is his heart. You give him a look of amusement.
“Enjoying the view?” You tease. He laughs, leaning forward to tuck his face into your neck.
“Yeah. Smells like you,”
“So cute.”
“Don’t know how to feel about being called cute.” He says honestly. He peers up at you and you’re giggling and he can feel his heart rate sky-rocket. You twirl a piece of his hair around your index finger.
“You’re cute and cool and handsome. Better?”
“Yeah. Yes.”
“Mm,” You respond. He looks at you as your expression drifts off somewhere. He can’t take his eyes away from your face “Sorry you had to stay over.”
“It’s fine. It’d be a shame if you didn’t get anything to look over while we were there. If you make any breakthroughs, it’d be good for Gojo-sensei.”
“You still call him that even though you graduated so many years ago?”
He flushes slightly.
“Force of habit. My point stands.”
“Mhm. Thanks for being so supportive. I didn’t think it was that late, y’know? I would’ve tried to hurry if I knew,” You say thoughtfully “But I like having you over.”
He gives you a once over as he pulls away, eyes flitting to your lips. You give him a small grin.
“Kiss me.”
He looks at you apologetically.
“That’s not fair. We can’t kiss? Making out doesn’t count as intimate relations, Yuta.”
“Okay, but it can lead to them.”
“If it’s that serious, I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“Wait, no.”
“Then kiss me.”
He sighs.
“Just kissing, okay?”
“Okay, you monk.”
He laughs at the comment before pressing his lips to yours tenderly. You have no such intent of leaving it that way - your hand on immediately on the nape of his neck. The softness of your tongue makes Yuta feel like there’s fizz in his head - like the water inside of him is seltzer. He thought you would at least try to give him some mercy.
He probably shouldn’t expect that from his favorite girl. He pulls away, out of breath. A little line of saliva breaks off between you. Your grin is eye-catching, like glass in the sun. Yuta wouldn’t mind burning in the magnitude of your light.
“Just kissing,” He emphasizes, trying to be firm. You hum, hand on his cheek. You rub your thumb on his lip tenderly, looking at him square in the eyes. He’s stronger than this, he swears.
“We are just kissing though?”
“Baby.” He frowns. A laugh bubbles up from your stomach and he’s so entranced by it he nearly forgets what he’s trying to convince you of.
“Since when is making out too naughty? Teenagers do stuff like that, Yuta. We’re grown-ups.”
“That’s the whole problem.” He says back in faux exasperation. You look like you’re going to kiss him again, but you lean into his ear instead. Your breath is warm and ticklish against his skin.
“Yuta,” You murmur with such clear intent he feels himself break down under the weight “Can’t we have sex, hm?”
Blood rushes down to his dick so fast he’s embarrassed. He stares at you as you pull away, a look in your eyes that makes him want to collapse. Of course he does. He wants to have so much sex with you so often it’s starting to drive him up a wall. Is there anyone in the world other than him masochistic enough to turn down the offer? He’s doubtful to say the least.
“I want to,” He admits. You beam and nod. Your hand slides down to squeeze his waist. He swallows thickly.
“Yeah? Then why can’t we?”
“I just..don’t want to rush things,” He replies with as much conviction as he possibly can. The sincerity must reach you because you soften a little “We’ve known each other for a long time. And it was already hard to get here. I just want to make sure it’s right.”
“You’re so thoughtful,” You murmur to him, running over his hip bone with your thumb “And that makes you really sexy, you know?”
“What if it gets all messed up?”
“Our relationship is stronger than that, yeah. It can withstand a handjob.”
He groans at your vulgarity before laughing.
“I’m being serious!”
“I know and that’s so sweet of you. But I really, really don’t think it’ll be that bad if we have sex. We might fuck like rabbits for a few days but that’s not really the end of the world.”
He feels heat creep up his next as you nuzzle your nose against his, whispering softly.
“And doesn’t that sound nice? Cooped up in this little room, fucking each others brains out. Just you and me.”
He feels his dick steel against his will. He looks at you seriously, a fire in his expression.
“You’re being unfair.”
“Who, me? Never. I’m just telling you what I think.”
He groans in complaint. Is this the right thing to do? He doesn’t think so. But it’s not like he doesn’t want to. He really, really wants to have sex and there’s never been such a perfect opportunity. You’re a little too good at turning him on and he’s a little too pent up to think about it more clearly. It feels like the only thing he can think about, a side-effect of this whole conundrum. There is a right way to go about this and he can’t say for certain yours isn’t the one.
Plus the vivid picture you’ve painted of the two of you fucking in a room for hours is making his whole body burn up with lust. Fuck, the things he could do to you in all that time without it ever being enough.
Yuta didn’t know he was aching for you so badly until he was this close to having you.
“Baby,” He can feel how deep his voice is getting. It’s taking all of his strength to keep it in.
“How do you want me? Tell me. You’ve been thinking about me right?”
“Always,” He confesses, staring at you without any restraint “Always thinking of you.”
“Doing what?”
Oh. This is…
Oh.
“I’ve never seen you naked.”
“Then you daydream about seeing me naked? How tame.”
“It’s more than that, it’s—I want to make you feel good. You’re so good to me. And I wanna…”
You stare at him. You’re so cheeky.
“You wanna?”
“Want you to feel good. But because of me. All because of me.”
A wave of heat passes through him. He looks at you and you look...different. You look turned on, fingers carding through his hair. Right now all Yuta can think about is how much he wants. A word with so much weight behind it he can hardly keep up. God doesn’t Yuta want you more than he’s ever wanted anything.
The room feels like it’s hotter than it was a few seconds last. A thick tension spreads over everything like jam. Yuta is too dazed to do anything. He can only watch as you sit up. You guide him to lay on his back and climb on top of him with ease. Your thighs feel warm and soft as you straddled him, taking his hands to put them on your waist.
He slides them up underneath your shirt lightly, enough to feel the warmth of your skin on his calloused fingers. Your eyes lock as you lean forward the slightest bit, caging Yuta in with your hand next to his head.
“So possessive,” You tease, seeing right through him like you usually do. He really is. He thought he was a little better at hiding it “Already all yours, Yuta.”
That makes his dick twitch. You must feel it because you laugh at him about it and his hands grip even tighter. He’s gonna lose his mind, being swept up by you so easily. He’s gotten so used to forfeiting restraint. Always goes in head first because that’s how cowards have to learn to fight. But he’s forgotten how to hold back. How to suppress.
Right now, he feels like an animal. He feels like a restless hound dog, straining against the spiked collar he’s tried to keep himself in place. What does that make you, he wonders?
In an attempt at transparency, he looks at you and says “I want you so much.”
And your reply is about all the permission he needs.
“Then take me,”
Yuta heeds your words and takes. It’s easy to flip you both over from where you are. He mumbles an apology as you yelp in surprise - and he hopes you’ll forgive him for his impatience. He’s been picturing this for months now. He knows what he wants, and that’s you on your back with him on top of you - making you feel so fucking good you can’t stand it. He slots his legs between yours, hovering over you as your bodies press into each other.
You wrap your arms around Yutas neck with ease and he leans in to kiss you passionately. Despite where you are, it’s clear you're helping set the pace. Yuta is eager to follow. It starts off slow enough but when you pull away once, you're opening your mouth enough to let him in deeper. You stick your tongue out and Yuta follows suit. Everything is so hot he feels like it’ll burn, and you taste like mint toothpaste. He likes swapping spit with you like this, the messy way the drool runs down his chin and yours like you can’t get enough for each other.
He has no idea how long you stay like that. Just kissing is a dangerous game. The nip of your mouth and the press of your incisors in his lower lip leave him shuddering. His hard cock is pressed against your abdomen, and he can’t help himself but hump into the soft plush of your tummy. Even through the stiff material of his jeans he can feel you.
He quivers and whimpers into your mouth but you swallow the noise with delight. Your fingers find themself at the nape of his hand reaching up, tugging at the root. You pull away to give him a chance to breathe. He sounds pathetic, he knows it, but fuck he can’t hold it in anymore. Your voice is cool and collected yet rich and heady. It feels like a salve to his raw nerves, calming to him. He closes his eyes and humps into you and everything feels like it’ll disappear. Yuta just wants to give into his base needs. He wants to be all yours as much as he wants you to be all his and everything is so tangled up in his mind.
“That feel good, Yuta?”
“Y-yeah. Yes. Oh, yes.”
You giggle at him a little and Yuta looks up at you. Look at the swell of your lips and the flush and sheen on your skin. Too much, too much, too much.
But not enough at the same time, he rubs his cock against you again, harder.
“So pent up,” You comment smoothly and Yuta groans in agreement “Why don’t I help you a little?”
Unsure of what you mean, he stares at you hazily. You push him off, making him stand to his knees and he watches you as your hands come to the ends of your shirt. You pull it off over your head and toss it somewhere. You have nothing on underneath. His mouth dries out almost completely. Bare skin of your shoulders and the curve of your neck and your chest so open. Your nipples are hard against the cool air, standing to attention.
Your b0dy is so much sexier than he could’ve conjured up in his head. The real thing doesn’t even compare, and the way you move as you take off the rest is so fucking mesmerizing. Yuta watches you take off your pants next - you put your legs up to slide them off.
There’s not a single part of you that Yuta doesn’t want to claim for himself. He traces the outline of your legs, the bend of your knee and the arch of your foot. He should worship you, after all - he was right for trying to restrain it before. If he had this in the beginning, he’s afraid of what kind of person he might become. He’s scared of it even now.
Yuta is of course the type of man to get sick on his own devotion. He’s always been like that. That’s what the rings on his hands always mean. He wants to make himself sick on you.
Nothing could be more intense than just watching you undress, he doesn't think. You toss your shorts somewhere, but leave your panties on. Yuta still has his clothes on. The only barrier between you now is a thin layer of cotton. There’s a damp spot on it. He can’t stop his hand from reaching out, pressing into it with his thumb as gently as he can. You gasp. His eyes go wide.
“It’s okay,” You assure, a smile on your face “Just wasn’t expecting it.”
He hums, dumbstruck, and smooths his thumb over the seam. There’s something salacious about the boundary itself. The material that’s keeping him from just taking you.
“C-can you leave them on..? For a bit?” He asks. You blink twice. Even if you’re confused, there’s not any judgment. Yuta really does love you.
“Uh-huh. If you want me too,”
You give him the floor this time, Yuta thinks. He takes his shirt off too. He doesn’t take his jeans off completely, though. Only unzips them, pushing them down past his boxers to give him some breathing room. And with that he’s back on top of you. He presses a gentle kiss to your lips but moves down towards your jaw. The little fluttery sigh that leaves you makes everything close in around him. Like it’s only you two in the entire world. He leaves them down your neck, down your collarbone and sternum. Warm open mouth kisses trying all over every inch of you.
His hands shake as he reaches out for your chest. You chuckle and reach for him. Guide them to squeeze your tits firm, a cheeky look in your eye. He tries to take more confidence in it now. Gropes the fat between his fingers, palms over your nipples in appreciation. He’s entranced by it, pushing them together and teasing the hardened buds with the pads of his fingers.
“So pretty,” He mumbles, mostly to himself “You’re so pretty,”
“You’re pretty too, Yuta.”
He can feel a blush crawl up his skin. He ducks his head down to take your nipples into his mouth. You let out a soft moan of pleasure that encourages him to suck harder on one and use his fingers to tease you where his mouth can’t reach. Your sighs are shaky and you're gently losing your composure.
He wants to shatter you completely.
He grabs your thighs and encourages you to wrap your legs around his waist. And you do with his guidance, a well of desire about to burst within him. He adjusts until his cock is snug against your clothed cunt. A broken oh, leaves your lips and Yuta humps into you, shifting until he hits the sweet spot. Your voice sounds again, pitchy and melodic like a wind chime and that’s when Yuta knows he has it.
He has you right where he wants you now. Bodies pressed into each other and so involved, so together. Yuta can feel you everywhere. He’s always been in sync with you but every notch is turned to ten. The shallow rise and fall of your stomach, the slightest tenseness in your spine that melt away when he gives you a little attention. He has you in his grasp but he wants to hold onto you tighter. He feels like he’s been struck by lightning, the way his nerves are revved up.
He focuses on where your lower bodies meet, tongue poked between his lips and furrow in his brow. Drives his clothed, hard cock against your cunt, catching the crown into your clit until you’re shaking underneath him. There’s something so primal about it that Yuta can’t take it. He can���t think clearly anymore, lost in the feeling of dull pleasure. If it feels so good like this, being inside you might be too much. You’re both naked mostly except for where you both need each other. So close in proximity that Yuta can hear each of your short pants. Erratic and almost thoughtlessly driven by one single thing, pleasing you. Feeling each other, all wrapped up together. There’s something romantic about the mutual desperation.
Drawing out those moans as he sucks at your tits, making you feel how hard he is. How pent up and needy and fucking horny he is all for you.
Just humping your soft, sweet little cunt through your panties makes Yuta want to risk everything he’s got. The push and pull of too much and not enough at the same time. It’s so fucking euphoric. Your fabric keeps wetter and wetter, and Yuta doesn’t know if it’s you or him - his pre-cum dribbling through his boxers. Mixing together so that there’s less friction than there should be, material all soaked through and tacky.
He can feel your pussy pulse and tremble. Your spine goes stiff and Yuta pulls away to look at you. You’re beautiful. You’re on edge, in complete bliss and so fucking beautiful.
“Oh, oh, Yuta - shit, like that. G-gonna, gonna,”
He doesn’t know what overtakes him, but he babbles on pulling away.
“Cum for me, please—fuck, baby, p-please, need it,”
You cum the first time just like that. For Yuta, humping each other like two lovesick teenagers. All for him you get all broken. He can’t help but burn the image of you underneath in his head forever. He needs to see it all again.
“Oh, that felt so fucking good,” The praise feels like it’s being injected into his bloodstream“You make me feel sho good,”
The slight slur in your words and praise all together makes him too happy. He kisses you, sloppy and lovedrunk, tongues touching and teeth chattering.
“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted,” Yuta says with as much conviction as any one man could have. You laugh so loud it makes him smile. “I don’t wish well for anyone you dated before me.” And you laugh again even louder.
“You sound polite even when you’re threatening people.” You say with nothing but affection. Yuta wants more. He wants you. Even with this quiet lull, he’s thinking about how he can get you to cum again.
He nudges his nose to your cheek, kissing the corner of your mouth before he talks.
“I want you to do it again,” He states, slow and steady, trying to feel out your willingness “And then I want to fuck you,”
“Wanna fuck me after you make me a mess?” You say, much more bluntly than he has. You’re not wrong “Are you a sadist after all, Yuta?”
“You look good when you’re messy. ‘s not my fault.” He replies, a little bite to his words. This delights you to the point he's proud. He does his best not to look uncool and this one time he’s succeeded.
“Make a mess of me, Yuta,” You encourage, probably because you know he needs it. And he does “I want it.”
“Yeah,” Comes his reply, as he pulls himself off of you “Me too,”
The pace slows down now. The room smells of sex and Yuta can still feel the blood rushing in his ears but nothing so frantic. He lays you back, your legs undoing from behind him and resting. Yuta kisses your sternum first, a wave of emotion running through him. He puts his hands on your sides, sliding them down to meet your hips and squeezing tight.
He kisses his down your body like it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. He can feel you curl in above him - not completely. But you seem a little astonished, and he'd be lying if he said it didn’t make him feel like he accomplished something. He works his way lower slowly, rubbing small circles into your skin as often as he can. Caressing you and committing your body to memory. He wants you to feel him as much as he’s feeling you, to feel his touch. The tension in the air is strengthened by his silence.
If he were saying anything it’d be something like this. Like can you feel it? how much i love you? or i want all of you. Things he can’t often muster up the strength to say. He’s good with his words but not good enough to communicate all of it so bluntly. Yuta is brave in areas other than love. Sometimes your adoration makes all the words clog in his throat. This is better for him, the physicality brings him peace of mind.
He likes how you feel. Your skin is much softer when he compares it to his, feels so different and more plush and comfortable. Yuta likes taking you in his hands and kneading the skin gently enough to relax you. Lower and lower, a trail of wet marks until he’s close to your clothed cunt. He stares at the sticky material, kissing it feather light before redirecting his attention to your thighs.
He starts again, at the bend of your knee - and works his way inward. He’s rougher now, taking time to mark up your inner thigh with precision. Yuta can’t help himself, placing kisses in the last places his teeth bit you. He does it again and again, up along one thigh and then moving to the other until you’re covered in them.
You’re trembling with anticipation. A sense of contentment washes over Yuta as his breath fans over your cunt, so completely soaked the fabrics a different color. His tongue runs over the material, a shameless moan of pleasure leaving his mouth. You arch your back, hands reaching to take root in his hair. The sensation of tension on his scalp makes his cock twitch. It’s salty and a little bitter, the mix of his pre-cum and yours altogether. Yuta goes to do it again anyway. The mess of it gets him excited, unconsciously rubbing into the sheets underneath him.
“O-oh, Yuta.”
He shivers, hands planing over the tops of your thighs as he brings him down close to him.
“Yeah, yeah baby. Just me and you,”
A soft laugh leaves your mouth. Yuta can feel how worked up you are. You’re quiet and tense. Some part of him wants to leave you like that waiting, but the other part of him wants to give you everything you’ve ever asked for. He gives into the latter, because that’s what he wants more. Rolls the fabric off of your legs with a deep sigh, a pleased hum. He loves the way you smell, the scent of sex and arousal mixed with the fancy soaps you keep in your bathroom. Your pussy is as pretty as you are, a sheen of arousal all along your slit. Your clit peeks through, swelled from need. Yuta kisses it without thinking.
He starts slow. Lays his tongue flat against the seam of your cunt before dragging it up. The taste of you covers his mouth, tangy and slightly sweet - Yuta can’t get enough of you. He moans in appreciation, repeating the gesture as he pulls your pussy close. His nose bumps into your sex. He peers up at you with his lashes. You’re so pretty it makes him want to please. He repeats this over and over - licking at your clit with enthusiasm. Your clit is hard and needy, throbbing against the soft, smooth muscle of his tongue as he gains a sort of rhythm. He gauges your reaction when he tries something new, adding pressure until you’re squirming underneath him. When you start growing noisier, Yuta knows he’s hit the right pace.
And he stays like that, your pussy soaking his mouth and chin. He adjusts himself slightly, rubbing his fingers between your folds. You let out a soft oh above him, making him want to laugh. He keeps at it, his fingers sliding far enough to tease your entrance. Your hole is twitching without him having done much at all, his middle finger teasing and prodding.
“Don’t t-tease so much,” You pant.
Yuta nearly blows his load listening to you talk like that. He didn’t think you could be so cute. He listens though, pushing his middle finger into you with ease. It doesn’t take too much effort. Your insides are so incredibly wet for him. Your walls are so soft and inviting, syrupy to the touch. Yuta loves feeling them. He gives you time to adjust to the new sensation, fucking in and out slow enough that the tension melts. He gets knuckle deep with his middle finger and when it doesn’t seem like you’re tense anymore - he goes and adds another.
He does both in tandem - and there’s a period where it’s all a bunch of sensation for you. Eventually it stops being just a feeling, turns into pleasure. He curls his fingers up against you hard, rubbing the soft and spongy area and he can feel you practically lurch forward. Your spine arches, mouth dropped open in a soft ‘o’. Another feeling of pride spreads through his chest, his whole body. He wants you to let go again just like this. While he fingers your weepy cunt and with your clit in his mouth - he wants to see how far he can push. How wet you can get before he ever gets inside.
Yuta isn’t one for competition or ego. He’s always been easy-going. But something about you being underneath him like this, moaning for him like this - makes him feel like he should put in a little more effort to prove himself. He wants to make you feel so good, wants to see your composure break down steadily. He wants you praise him for it, to fuck each other like animals in the thereafter of your second orgasm. He pushes towards that goal steadfastly, and soon enough your body catches up with him.
Yuta can practically feel your stomach tighten. You let out a noise, a string of mismatched syllables like a warning. Yuta only hums in encouragement, keeping his pace exactly the same. Feeling it is incredible. His fingers can feel the way your walls tighten up so hard and the tremors of the aftermath.
Your back curves in a C as you cum, hard for him and he can feel it. He can feel you cum. He can see you, see the pleasure crash into you like a tidal wave. A second. Yuta made you cum twice in a row and he’s already itching to do it a third.
You practically pry him off as you ride the wave of your high. You sigh deeply, and Yuta licks his fingers. He waits for your adoration, pleased to receive as you pull him up for a kiss.
“You’re so fucking good, Yuta,” You say and Yuta feels his resolve crumble. He needs to fuck you immediately “So, so good to me baby.”
He whimpers into your mouth. “I need you.”
You laugh breathlessly, your hand reaching between your bodies to squeeze his cock. Yuta shudders and you giggle to yourself.
“Yeah. Bet you’re feeling pent up, Yuta. How about I treat you this time? That okay?”
“Treat me?”
“By riding you,” You say, smiling at him. He gets chills from the offer “You want that?”
“Oh. Oh, fuck - please. Please?”
You smile at him.
“Lay on your back, sweet boy.”
Sweet boy. He swallows thickly but does as you say. Lays back and watches you climb over him a second time tonight - this time with a much more obvious intent. He can’t stop thinking about how gorgeous he finds you - no matter how many times he sees you, it’s not easy to get used to.
You sit up on his lap, naked and beautiful, your hangs tugging down his boxers just enough to free his cock. He hisses at the sensation of air, then moans because your hand squeezed around the shaft. Yuta watches, bewitched, by how you spit into the palm of your hands and let it drip down onto his cock. You stroke until he’s covered in it, saliva making a mess of him. When he’s all wet, you scoot forward just slightly. A hand ends up on his chest as you pull your hips up.
Guiding the tip to your hole, you sink down on Yuta finally. He can only recognize loosely that there’s no condoms to be seen but he doesn’t find it in himself to care. There’s a slight sensation of tension that quickly gives away to nothing but slick, white-hot pleasure. You feel amazing. It’s not like anything he’s ever felt in his entire life and each time you drop down another inch - he’s biting his cheek trying not to cum immediately. That’d be such a waste, even if you’ve promised to fuck like rabbits - Yuta wants to make this last long.
You lower yourself steadily until all of him is inside. Your expression is slightly pinched, and your whole body trembles before you finally seem comfortable. You lean forward, your hand next to Yuta’s head as you look at him.
“Cum when you feel like you need to, ‘kay?”
Yuta just swallows.
Before he gets a chance to adjust to the feeling, you pick your hips and slam them back down on his cock without breaking a sweat. Yuta nearly screams, his hands immediately shooting to your hips to try and slow you down. You give him a wry grin, He almost wants to plead for your mercy.
“Want me to go slower?”
“Please be nice.”
You giggle but heed his request. Repeating the motion but slower as promised, you rock yourself steadily onto Yuta’s cock. The pace is controlled and smooth, a rhythmic pass of your hips over and over. Your insides feel like they’ll melt him completely, make him liquid from the inside out. You’re picturesque riding him, tits bouncing and leaned forward enough that Yuta can see the concentration on your face. He watches you find your own pleasure in it too - somewhere half-way between grinding and bouncing that makes you look so good. He feels so incredible like this.
He moves his hands so they’re grabbing your ass and only moves with you slightly. Not enough to change the pace, but to meet you. The room is filled with the sound of skin hitting skin - a tacky smack as your bounces hard enough to hit Yutas thighs. Something about is so vulgar, but something about is so sensual. He can feel every nerve in his body standing on edge. Your hand moves gently between your bodies to tease your clit as you ride and Yuta can’t help but be impressed by your stamina. He feels so spoiled. Feels so mind-numbingly good he wants to go brain dead while you drain for everything he’s got.
Your expression is blissed out as you hit your stride, absolutely debauched. He can feel you again, another rush of arousal. He’s getting better at telling when you’re close. Your pussy is so sloppy all for him, because of him. So messy that it’s dripping down his cock onto his balls, all over the sheets underneath you. He can feel you clench in anticipation - the sudden spasming in the build up.
“Gonna cum again and I want you cum right after me, yeah baby? Can you do that?”
Yuta groans.
“Pleasepleaseplease.” Is all he can make out. You laugh, breathy. Your pace is still the same as you rub your clit. The third time you cum is less intense. It’s a shorter wave, a softer sort of orgasm that seems to ease you more than it does anything else. Even still, you clench around his cock hard - getting so much wetter than you were a minute ago.
It’s in the tremors that Yuta finally feels in touch with himself again. He loses himself completely. Finally giving into the sensation that’s been drowning him, He feels it in his entire lower body. Every atom of him finally catching up to the high of the release. It’s so intense when he opens his mouth nothing comes out. His eyes shoot open then go back closed. The coil in his stomach loosens more slowly at first than all at once, like a car crash. When Yuta finally cums he sees nothing but white stars in his vision. He can’t scream, can’t speak - so he holds onto you tight and finishes to the sound of your gentle coaxing. Your voice is shot hoarse as you coo to him.
“That’s it baby, cum for me. That’s it, there you go.” Echoes around in his head. Cum spurts out of him, thick and hot in your walls and he doesn’t even try to pull out as he goes completely limp underneath you.
When he opens his eyes back up again, you're both just as ragged as each other. Yuta can’t stop himself from laughing. He hugs you tight to his chest as you lay on top of him - naked bodies and tangled limbs.
“I love you,” Yuta says blearily. You laugh.
“I love you too, Yuta.”
__
After you and Yuta manage the energy to shower, you find yourselves back in bed. It’s late when you’re finally ready to sleep, being in the same positions you were before. Only this time with new sheets.
Yuta lets you into his arms, wrapping them around you as you nuzzle into his chest.
“So. Was it worth breaking your rules?”
Yuta can’t help but break out into laughter at your question. He nods his head, a flush on his expression.
“Yeah. Yeah it was.”
#yuta x reader#yuta okkotsu x reader#jjk x reader#jjk smut#yuta okkotsu smut#writing tag#i was NOT going to post this until i woke up later#but due to unforseen and horrendous circumstances i am alive#i wrote this for miss aleks i am literally so grateful for u kdsjknkjsd thank u sm#i hope it is okay!! its been a while since ive written him
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I— 'Don't bite your lip, I want to do that' with Jamil possibly? 🥺 I swear that would straight up kill me (in a good way)
I hope you have a good day!
oooh... this one is interesting
summary: "Don't bite your lip, I want to do that" type of post: short fic characters: jamil additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is not specified to be yuu, BRIEF mention of blood, a little kissing, fluffy, not proofread aaand maybe a little ooc
You are the personification of bad habits.
At first, Jamil avoided you; he thought he had done enough babysitting, and the last thing he needed was to worry himself over your love of biting your nails.
...And then, of course, he caved.
He couldn't just avoid you forever, and if he was going to be your friend anyway, he might as well have tried.
So, Jamil has learned a lot about you in these past few months.
For one, when you're nervous, no amount of verbal reminders will prevent you from fidgeting.
And, for another, you responded shockingly well to physical touch.
It became a habit of his. Away from prying eyes, he'd hold your hands to prevent you from picking your cuticles and tuck your hair behind your ears so you wouldn't chew on it.
He fussed over you in ways not even he understood, but that didn't matter.
He liked the feeling that came with being the leader between the two of you.
There was just one thing he couldn't seem to fix.
"Stop that," Jamil says, running his thumb over your lower lip. He sighs, seeing the blood beading from where you'd bitten.
He takes up a handkerchief, dabbing at your lip.
"There are better ways to deal with your anxiety than taking it out on yourself," he mutters. He would know.
"Sorry,"
"It's not worth apologizing over," Jamil says. "Don't let your thoughts get the best of you. They're supposed to serve you, not..."
He pauses, withdrawing the handkerchief.
"I just wish you'd stop doing that,"
"I can't help it," you say.
He knows that already, he thinks. That's why he's trying to help.
He frowns. Being so worried over someone he has no obligation to worry over is a new feeling, but not an unwelcome one.
It's just... difficult.
"You're too thoughtful for your own good, sometimes," but it's not like he's complaining. It's a welcome break from the thoughtlessness he deals with elsewhere.
Jamil knows it's your first instinct to bite and pick and peel; he's also confident he'll find a way to train you out of it.
Maybe...
No. What a stupid thought. Holding hands is one thing, occupying your lips to dissuade you is another.
"What are you thinking about?" you ask.
Ugh. "Nothing. A solution,"
"I want to hear it," you seem quite adamant. He sighs.
"I thought that if occupying your hands has worked for in the past, that the same might be true of your lips... but that's clearly not as easy,"
You're quiet. Probably thinking, and then overthinking.
"Well... why not? Why not kiss me, I mean?"
Jamil almost drops the handkerchief. Maybe you weren't overthinking this time, after all.
"...Because this is not some silly movie where I say something like... "don't bite your lip, I want to do that", or something equally embarrassing,"
You seem to hold back a giggle, much to his chagrin. "Maybe you should. Maybe it would work,"
"...You're not serious,"
You nod. Sevens, you are turning out to be a handful today. Much more so than usual.
Still...
He sighs. "Fine, but only because you insist,"
A long silence follows. Jamil studies your expression, almost looking for a hint of deceit, but... it's just you.
Genuinely caring about others is such a headache.
He hesitates, and then leans in, pressing a short but sweet kiss to your mouth. It tastes like blood. Not that he minds.
Keeping a cool facade after that is harder than he expected, and it takes him a minute to pull himself together.
At least you look happy with yourself.
Despite his internal embarrassment, he can't help but smile at the thought.
"Distracting enough?"
You're quiet, lost in thought... and then you nod. "I would say so. I guess your theory was right all along,"
Jamil feels a little swell of pride, both at the praise and at the soft look on your face.
"Hm. They often are,"
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Spoilers for Book of Bill
Thoughts on Bill talking about Ford
I was not prepared for canon Billford in the year 2024 and yet here we are.
But seriously, I'm kinda surprised how much Bill actually liked and valued Ford? Obviously it's in a horrible, toxic, never come within the same continent as them kind of way but it's just, I always kind of figured their relationship (while obviously adoring from Ford's end due to Journal 3) was mainly just Bill humoring Ford long enough until he no longer needs him. Like, 'yeah, sure, of course you're special, I definitely believe in you' sort of nonsense.
But in Bill's book it's implied multiple times he had as close to a crush on Ford as he's probably capable of. I mean, the whole 'love cage' section is literally verbatim what he did to Ford (and just wait until they're mentally broken enough to confess their true feelings! Fear and love are basically the same thing!) And in the valentine's section he talks about leaving mice, which again, he did for Ford's birthday, and then when he wasn't happy about that, got him drunk enough to have a good time (implied kinda forcibly? since Ford declined beforehand). Then there's the fact he literally calls Fiddleford a third wheel (also coincidentally after we just learn Fiddleford spent hours on handmade gifts for Ford and forgot to get his wife anything).
And when Ford finally does catch on and things go bad? Bill tries first to talk with Ford through the zombies (to manipulate him, of course, but also Admit it, you'd miss me. I have missed you, and Bill actually smiles.) And then leaves little sticky notes asking nicely to talk. When he finally gets mad enough to escalate, he still does so in a very not-violent-for-Bill-way. Sure, killing Ford wouldn't help him but we know how messed up Bill can get. And yet what does he do? He leaves Ford's body to almost freeze, only to have a warm fire and a love song playing when he wakes up. He causes mild public disturbances and gives him an obnoxious tattoo. When he finally, finally snaps is when we start to see more of the Bill we got in the show when he tortures Ford a bit. But even that is mild?
Like, Bill rearranged a man's face for fun and takes joy in destroying the Nightmare Realm. But after threating Ford he leaves him unharmed. Very mentally scarred, yes, but safe and intact. He even gives him three days to get his life together. And then treats it like a messy breakup when Ford finally breaks free. Hell, it seems like he was more upset about losing Ford than losing the portal.
All this is to say that I think from Bill's point of view he was being genuinely kind to Ford. He gave him gifts, complimented him, and tried to work things out peacefully when Ford started pulling away (again, his very messed up version of peaceful, but the point still stands).
So when they do finally meet again? Bill still offers Ford a spot next to him. Again, I originally thought this was more playing into Ford's ego while taking a cheap shot at him (i.e. you'll fit in great with the freaks!), but by now it's obvious he wants Ford. He's petty and cruel and horribly abusive about it, but in his own twisted way he likes Ford. A lot. Enough to show mercy (or at least not be as violent as he could be) and to try and give him multiple chances to come back, no apology needed!
And the worst part is Bill knows this. Bill's trying to make this relationship work. He feels connected to Ford in a way he quite possibly hasn't felt with anyone else. And he knows its doomed to fail. In his mind he has to destroy everything he touches and everything he cares about. Any other connections he has are either superficial or dead to him (usually literally). This relationship will end the same way, it's just in Bill's nature. To him, that's all his relationships are capable of being.
All this just makes me sad and adds so much depth and I'm obsessed. There's just something about self-destructive and truly cruel characters having moments where they wish they weren't that way. Where they'll come the closest they ever can to apologizing for how they are.
(Also Bill literally wanted Ford to get a tattoo saying 'If lost return to Bill' like we cannot just ignore that oh my god)
#gravity falls#book of bill#book of bill spoilers#billford#like yeah it's a horribly toxic relationship that should not exist but I think Bill was actually trying the best he could#and that just hurts :(
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SKZ Mate Chapter 13
Warnings: Angsty Minho, minor violence
Y/N felt a pain in her chest as she baked a load of snacks for Minho. Her omega didn't like what they were doing to Minho on his birthday. He seemed to value being close to people and took it personally when the smallest things were not recognised. She wanted to make it all better but Changbin promised he will be alright, eventhough Y/N disagreed. It wasn't fair, Minho must have felt annoyed to not go out on his birthday if it was a tradition. Y/N wouldn't have minded staying home if she couldn't go out. Y/N felt awful which was why she wanted to do something nice for him while they were out distracting him. She even spent the morning tidying his nest up, making sure it was as neat as possible for him. She even added some candles that she thought would enhance his scent. Once everything was baked she put it into tupperware boxes and left it on his side with a handwritten note for him, hoping he would appreciate it. When she walked back down into the kitchen to finish helping Felix she saw Hyunjin leaning against the alcove. His hair was pinned back into a lose ponytail, some of it falling out. He looked shattered, but somehow still looked incredibly attractive.
"Are you feeling better?" Y/N whispered, trying not to make eye contact with him as she walked passed him to Felix.
"Wouldn't you like to know." His tone laced with irony a meaning she didn't understand.
"Ah Alpha Hyunjin, your back. Did you shower?" Felix stated in excitement as he saw the alpha had returned. "Are you hungry, I made lots of food. I can make more."
"I am alright Lixie. Do not worry, I'm going out with Chan soon anyway." Hyunjin said softly as he ruffled the younger betas hair.
Y/N watched their interaction and found it quite sweet but also different. She hadn't seen Hyunjin as gentle before. Felix she had seen as gentle as if he was an omega. Felix was very docile and kind. He was always willing to please and if he got it wrong he felt immense guilt. She had never met such a sensitive beta before. It was quite cute, he reminded her of Yeosang. He was a very caring omega and always put others first. Felix noticed her staring at him and gave her a big grin, beckoning her over.
"What are you thinking about?" Felix asked as he brushed her hair behind her ear with his little finger.
"Your hair is getting longer." Y/N stated.
"Do you not like it?" Felix asked nervously.
"No. No. I really like it a lot, it's kind of sexy." Y/N blurted out, making Felix grin. His heart was being so hard in his chest in excitement.
"You're so cute Y/N-ssi." Felix stated as he pulled her into a hug, kissing all over her face, making the omega more embarrassed. "I'll keep it as long as you want. Come on let's finish this." Y/N and Felix continued to decorate the kitchen table with food, while Jisung and Jeongin where pulling some games out. It was all going great up until Minho had arrived with Seungmin and Jeongin.
"What's happened?" Y/N asked as she saw the angry look on Minho's face and an awkward Jeongin and Seungmin.
"Just stay out of my way." Minho growled as he pushed past Seungmin when Y/N grabbed hold of him with him excitement.
"Come on Minho-ah. I've got to show you something you'll-"
"I'm not in the mood omega. You better not have been in my room!" Minho shouted, snatching his arm away from her. Y/N's jaw tightened and she tried to focus on the wall in front of her so she didn't cry, but it was too late.
Felix ran towards Y/N and pulled her into his chest letting her cry. His beta instincts kicked in when he saw her disappointed face. Felix felt guilty, it was his idea to tidy Minho's room and put something's in there for him.
"Come on omega, Lix. We need to grab some candles." Hyunjin stated as he grabbed his car keys as the two wolves stared at him. "Let's go before Chan changes his mind." Felix nodded and walked to the cupboard to grab Y/N's coat only to realize she didn't have one so he grabbed Seungmins for her and gave it to her. It was a little bit too big for her but it will do.
"Let's go. Minho will be fine, he's probably feeling guilty." Hyunjin stated as he tried to hurry them up to the car. Y/N awkwardly followed, taking Felix's warm hand to the car and sitting in the back with him.
"Do not worry about Minho Hyung. He will feel guilty." Felix promised. What she didn't know was that Felix was right. The minute Minho had walked into his room and saw the note left on his side his heart shattered. He felt immense guilt as he read the note over and over again. He felt awful as he thought back to her excited face. Minho sat there in the middle of the floor and cried, knowing he had ruined it.
When they reached the shopping mall Felix took his hand in hers, holding it tightly as they followed Hyunjin to the shop.
"I'm going to go down there to get some art supplies, you stay with Felix." Hyunjin stated as Felix grabbed her hand tightly taking her to find candles.
"Ah ha. Here we go!" Felix stated as he grabbed the two and the six. Y/N realised she didn't know how old any of them where.
"Felix, how old are you?" Y/N asked.
"I'm 24. Wait, how old are you? When is your birthday. Have we missed it?" Felix asked nervously.
"No no. My birthday is February the 18th. I'm 23." Y/N answered
"Your birthday is near Jeongins. His is the 8th of February." Felix answered as he took her hand to the baking section. "I need some more tins as the other ones are not so good."
"Shall I take these to Hyunjin? He's only down there?" Y/N asked.
"Be quick." Felix stated as he looked through the tins and baking trays. Y/N nodded, pulling on Seungmins coat as she headed towards Hyunjin. Y/N pulled at the zip up to her neck, hiding her chin as she started to feel uncomfortable. There was a scent of old leather and spices around and she didn't trust it. She didn't want to panic incase it was another wolf but something in the back of her mind stated it wasn't and she was right to think that. As soon as she turned the corner she walked straight into her old alpha. Shit. Wooyoung! Y/N freezed as she stared up at him, almost holding her breath, as she slowly backed away, but he already grabbed, taking zero chances. Wooyoung wrapped his arms tightly around her and pulled her out of the shop.
"Where did you run off too, omega? Ay?" Wooyoung's voice burned deep into Y/N's soul, rebranding her all over again.
"Do you know how worried Hongjoong has been? He will forgive you omega. He will forgive you for hitting him over the head. He knows it wasn't your fault. He knows it's Jongho's fault." Wooyoung cooed but his tone held a lie. Y/N started to panic as he pushed her out of the shopping mall.
"Look who it is omega. It's San." Wooyoung whispered, causing Y/N to dig her heals straight into the ground. San isn't always as kind when he was angry.
"Please. Please. Please." Y/N begged as she tried to pull him off of her. Her hands pushed and slapped Wooyoung but he didn't budge. Y/N even tried to bite him as she knew her fangs could do a lot of damage but she couldn't reach him. San watched in amusement as she thrashed in Wooyoung's arm.
"Come now omega. You've played long enough." San stated as he walked towards her, grabbing her chin roughly, forcing her to meet his amber eyes. As soon as she did he slapped her straight across the face. Y/N's hand slowly reached towards her nose as she felt the blood start to drip.
"Wooyoung!" Hyunjin growled, his eyes a deep shade of red as he met them, an angry Felix behind him. Y/N had never seen this side of Felix before. He looked lethal. His jaw locked and his hands clenched ready to fight if he needed too.
"Hyunjin" Wooyoung turned around, laughing at the alpha as he held Y/N tight in his grasp. "How unfortunate we meet again."
"Let. Her. Go." Hyunjin growled, his eyes burning into Wooyoung's.
"How about no. She isn't yours." Wooyoung taunted, throwing his head back with a laugh when Felix pounced straight onto San knocking him to the ground. Felix was relentless as he punched San. Wooyoung narrowed his eyes as he realised he underestimated Felix. Hyunjin could tell he was panicking as he slowly started to back away with Y/N still in his grasp. Hyunjin crouched slightly waiting for Wooyoung to relax his hold so he could pull Y/N back. He wanted to grab her without hurting her too much but knew there might be some damage.
"Little wolf." Hyunjin called, giving her a soft look before he grabbed her the bottom of her coat trying to drag her foreword when Wooyoung had pulled her back by the neck, causing Y/N to help. Hyunjin pushed forward and hit the side of Wooyoung's face causing the alpha to throw the omega to the side. As soon as Y/N hit the concrete floor she took a quick glance to see Felix pushing San's head to the side when she heard a snap. Felix had killed San.
#stray kids#stray kids x reader#stray kids smut#skz#skz x reader#skz smut#abanb#bang chan#bang chan x reader#bang chan smut#lee know#lee know x reader#lee know smut#changbin#changbin x reader#changbin smut#hyunjin#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin smut#han jisung#han jisung x reader#han jisung smut#lee felix#lee felix x reader#lee felix smut#seungmin#seungmin x reader#seungmin smut#jeongin#jeongin x reader
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Are people mad that Luke Newton has a girlfriend? Or is it something more? A deep dive. Part 1 of 3.
I want to start out by saying, I have been following the Bridgerton train since the season one release on Christmas day. It was a show that I knew nothing about and I became enamoured.
I have followed along with the show and the actors since the release. I find looking at human behaviour fascinating, as I work in a very customer service based industry. It is so interesting to me to see how the actors have conducted themselves, especially Luke Newton.
This post will be about why I think people are truly upset by his behaviour.
(some of which I agree with and some I don't)
Luke Newton has been quite the monogamous dater. He dated his fellow co-star from The Lodge, Sophie Simnett. They were both very young at the time, it seemed like a sweet relationship, but young love normally never lasts.
Then he got into a relationship with Jade Davies. She is very active in the Theatre world and it seemed like this was a very good pairing. I think they complimented each other well. You could tell they loved each other. Ultimately they broke up at the beginning of 2023, because they 'grew apart', or so the tabloids have stated.
I do know that Jade did receive some hate (which is fairly common in the industry that Luke is in). I personally don't think that it was as bad as people made it out to be. A lot of people loved seeing Luke in love and proud of his girlfriend. They supported them as a couple. They supported it because there really wasn't anything to not support.
After the breakup is where Luke Newton went off the rails (in my opinion). He decided to become the typical fuck boy and didn't keep it secret. But he was just getting out of a long term relationship, it's not an abnormal things to do.
This is where he made his first mistake - he made his dating life public and it definitely looked questionable. (and yes he made it public by following certain people and posting about all of his vacations). He had a 'type' going into this time in his life (young dancers). But ultimately fans were forgiving because he just got out of a long term relationship. He was hurting and it's okay to spiral a little at a time like that. Fans supported him because they wanted him to have a 'hot boy summer'.
At some point he meets his confirmed/unconfirmed girlfriend Antonia. She seems to get a long with his close friends and people took notice of them spending time together. But I think fans thought he was still spiralling, so he wouldn't actually get into a relationship, he was only having fun.
Then the New Years kiss video was released. Fans did not like this. But ultimately I don't think that was what caused the biggest issue, I think his second mistake was befriending her on Instagram. This is what sealed them as an unconfirmed relationship. Had they decided to not make this decision, I think people could/would have left them/her be. It could have been summed up with 'it was just a New Years' kiss.
I think it's possible that Luke had the intention to make this relationship public. I think that could have been his goal that day. But because of the press tour coming up, he was told not to (maybe). I also think that made Luke spiral even more, he was upset that he couldn't show off his girlfriend (and when you like or love someone you do want to do that) and decided to take some of his issues out on his career and fans (by liking everyone of her photos, letting her post photos with his clothing, letting her post photos with his arms and legs). (I want to add that he should have the right to do that, but in the world of celebrities, they have to do things like this with care or it will backfire).
His third mistake was mentioning that he was the most like his character on Bridgerton (he has said this multiple times) and his cast-mates also say the same thing. Hear me out on this one -
It can be easy to separate the art from the artist. That is simple enough for people to do (I have seen it happen on many occasions). But there were multiple times that he would say he is the most like his character (saying this made the task of separating difficult) - and lets be real Colin was made for the female gaze. He is charming, attractive, loving and isn't superficial. He fell in love with the 'outcast', the one that isn't the 'typical' beauty. Fans held onto this, because Colin as a character made them feel seen. They couldn't separate Luke from Colin because he kept saying he was like Colin.
When they look at Antonia they don't see the outcast, they don't see the girl that looks like them, they don't see a 'regular' woman. She is the opposite of who Colin would end up with, so that would mean that Luke wouldn't go for her. Antonia looks like the girl who made fun of you in high school, the girl who on the outside looks like she hasn't had a trouble in her life, a girl who's social media is all about vacationing and looks staged, she doesn't seem real.
(I want to note that I have no idea who she is as a person, she could be the nicest person).
So now that Luke has made a bunch of people mad they will go on a deep dive. The first thing that people will look into is the age. And she is quite young. Too young in fact. I am on the side that someone his age shouldn't be dating someone who's brain isn't fully developed (this is a scientific fact), ESPECIALLY since there is also a power dynamic. (It's okay if you do not feel the same way).
Luke's fourth mistake was letting his friends post things about himself on social media. Yes, I know that you can't control everybody in your life. But they are his BEST FRIENDS, Luke could have asked them to not post anything about himself. That would have been the smart more.
Luke's fifth mistake was not having Nicola and the Bridgerton Instagram posts with notifications on. He should have liked every single god damn post that they posted. This would have appeased the fans, the fans love that shit. But instead he would like every single one of Antonia's photos and forget about his job. This decision further bothered fans because he stated that he was moving his social media to be work related. I will be honest - his social media is kinda a mess. His social media presence is definitely a mistake he has made.
He goes on the Bridgerton press tour with Nicola (who is amazing at her job), and all of the imperfections of his life are even more exaggerated, because Nicola is fucking great. Even though Luke and Nicola are a pair when it comes to Bridgerton, people will still compare them.
When looking at this whole situation I think that Luke is continuing to spiral. I think that he can be a bit stubborn and he is doubling down. He has to know the mistakes he has made. He has to realize that he could have dated Antonia and not made it a whole situation/scene. If a celebrity doesn't want you to know something about their personal lives, you won't know.
Final thoughts - I think that Luke didn't think about how some of his actions would/could have been perceived, I think he was ill prepared in some of his actions, I think that he is still learning to be in the spotlight, I think he is somewhat immature, I think that he is being destructive to his career.
I'm convinced Luke wanted to come forward with his relationship months ago. I believe he was told not to and he didn't like that answer. He has shown some spite because of it. There are also other mistakes that I didn't get into, if you want a part 2 let me know? haha
Have I lost some respect for Luke during the past year? Yes.
Do I realize that it must be hard to be in the spotlight? Yes.
Do I think that if Luke continues on this destructive path he will regret it? Yes.
Should we also give him a bit of grace? Yes.
Do I think he is talented? Yes.
Do I think this will ultimately effect him? No.
If you have gotten this far, congratulations and thank you for reading! It's been a fascinating deep dive!
#luke newton#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton netflix#colin bridgerton#relationship issues#nicola coughlan
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People have been discussing what Shirakura said in the "Toei's Secret-Spilling Special!" that came out yesterday on TTFC but I've seen a lot of confusion based on partial translations so I recruited my usual co-conspirators michaelele and Flame to translate the full thing. The text of the interview follows. The video will probably be up on my wordpress at some point today.
Please introduce yourself.
Shirakura: My name is [Shin'ichiro] Shirakura. I'm a poor old man who TTFC has abducted and forced to talk to you all. Glad to be here.
We have a load of questions for you. Are you prepared?
Shirakura: I heard we received hundreds of questions, which I'm really grateful for, because that means Toei's secrets are as dark and alluring as the ocean depths. Keeping their secrets is usually my trade, but today I get to do the opposite. I'm a bit nervous and hope this doesn't upset anyone.
What does the Character Strategy Department do?
Shirakura: Character-based IP have been at the center of Toei's business for over 50 years at this point, so it seemed like high time to make it more official. The Character Strategy Department creates business strategies for our various character-based IP, or plans for them at least.
Looking back to 2024, what do you think of the hype surrounding Royal Sentai King-Ohger's final act?
Shirakura: I'm truly grateful to all the King-Ohger fans, because it wouldn't be possible without them. TTFC was already working with Producer [Takahito] Omori on cutting together the final three episodes into a special edition for release on TTFC. So the plan was always there, and, in fact, I considered giving that cut a straight-up theatrical release. It did get a limited theatrical showing in the end, albeit as a one-day-only deal for members. We would like to do something similar again at some point, but it's really all because of our fans.
What are your thoughts on its successor, Cranked-Up Sentai Boonboomger?
Shirakura: When I first heard the title, "Cranked-Up Sentai Boonboomger," I thought it was weird, but... it kind of rolls off the tongue nicely. Despite its strangeness, it has a certain aura. Then, upon closer inspection, I knew only Producer [Yoshito] Kuji could have come up with it.
Whenever you'd ask Kuji to describe what the show's about, he'll be like... [stone-faced] "It's a cranked-up show." He'd say it just like that, cold as ice. He's really passionate, but he keeps it under the surface, so on the surface he's this mild-mannered, gentle kind of guy. So then I heard the red ranger go, "THAT'S CRANKED UP!" and I shouted "That's where that came from!"
I don't know if "secure" is quite the right word, but I think it's a show that's made with a lot of care.
So the production schedules have seen a shift?
Shirakura: Boonboomger is still following King-Ohger's production cycle, but the series after it will have a two-month head start. The idea of that is… Well, earlier I joked about the Character Strategy Department, but the point isn't just to expand our business dealings with regards to character-based IP such as the Super Sentai and Kamen Rider franchises, but to actively improve the shows in every way possible. Looking at it from the business end of things, Kamen Rider Gavv is actually the first show made in this adjusted production cycle.
The first reason for this is to reduce overseas piracy. The problem with our shows being pirated… The people who pirate our programs are huge fans who love the shows, there's no doubt about that, but in a way, they're also fanatics. What I mean by that is... When these people form their opinions on the shows before the official release has a chance to come out, they're in a position to color the opinions of the fans who watch the official releases. So, for instance, when the official release comes out, the streaming platforms will be flooded with comments like, "If the toys were like so-and-so instead I would buy them," "If they did this then the show would be good."
The head start from pirating lets fanatics drown out all other conversation about a show, even though fanatics judge things differently. So one of our goals was to reduce that.
Another reason was just to revamp our working environment. For years, it's been a mad rush to get each episode to air, giving ourselves barely any time. Obviously, it's very demanding, and it's very easy to go over budget in that situation. But this recent shift in our production schedule should give our budget management, as well as working conditions for cast and crew, a big refresh, so to speak.
We've decided to set this new schedule with Gavv and stick to it over the following years, with all our upcoming projects planned around this. We've been running these franchises for 50 years, but this is totally new for us—Even though I feel like we should have made the change years ago.
What are your thoughts on Kamen Rider Gotchard?
Shirakura: Well, Producer [Yousuke] Minato was under me when we worked on [Avataro Sentai] Donbrothers, so this was his first time being Chief Producer. Obviously, it's got a bit of a school setting, as well as a very young cast, so I think it's a show that's got a youthful energy to it.
The title of the show, Gotchard, was something Minato really pushed for. There were a lot of objections to it. When it came to deciding the all-important title, though, he wasn't forceful about it, but he made it clear he felt really strongly about "Gotchard". [laughs] He said that, along with Decade and Ex-Aid, it can be a sub-series of shows that end in ド (-do). So he pushed the objections aside… In a way, I see that as a sign of how reliable he could be.
How has the shift in the production schedule affected Kamen Rider Gavv?
Shirakura: One of the reasons for Gavv's production shift is China's censorship system. That's where the piracy problem is biggest, and it takes quite a while to pass the censorship process, so we thought we'd give ourselves a three-month lead. We weren't able to pass censorship by September, but finally, as of October 13th, the show has been simulcast day-and-date in Japan and China. This means, for the first time, the official release could make it out before the pirated versions, which I'm really glad we managed to do.
But beating piracy is really just one part of it. As the producer, [Naomi] Takebe tells me, it's had a great overall effect. One major example is the cast. The rushed schedule we had before meant episodes had an extremely fast turnaround. By giving ourselves more lead time, filming Gavv before anyone else knew about it, it gave everyone several months to focus solely on Gavv. Of course, when it aired, all the comments would come, and the interviews and press tours… A sudden influx of noise, for lack of a better term. But, until then, that's three extra months the cast has to focus on their work, their characters. That's the best thing about it.
It also helps with the promotional materials. Take the videos we make to announce the show: We had a lot more material to work with this time, and the CGI was even finalized in time for those trailers. The same goes for the previews at the end of each episode. Even Takebe wondered why didn't do this ages ago. "Why have we been rushing ourselves like this? Why were we so stuck in our ways?" It's really a dark side of Toei no one can understand.
This is the big one. Talk to us about the winter movie.
Shirakura: This year, we're releasing the Fuuto PI movie, and in the new year, there's the Gotchard V-Cinext. As for the so-called "winter movies" we've done each year since 2009, there won't be one. Nor next year, most likely. We're reorganizing the structure, which is getting into Character Strategy again.
So, there's the summer movies, winter movies, and we used to have spring movies as well. Now we have V-Cinexts, which are usually epilogues at the end of a show's run, or movies we make for anniversaries. But there's also stuff like Fuuto PI, or Shin Kamen Rider, which are in their own categories. There's a need to put a structure to all of that. This question is about Kamen Rider, but we're applying this mindset elsewhere, too, of course.
When we talk about Rider movies, though, including V-Cinexts, the question is, what's the demographic? Who are we targeting? Who'll enjoy this? These are questions we've struggled with 'till last year. We need to be more clear about our audience and make things for different demographics to enjoy. We're just starting to do that now, and there's still a lot I can't say, but we have multiple projects in the works right now which we'll start announcing in 2025. Please look forward to those.
Can you give us any specifics?
Shirakura: To be more specific… Well, I can't be that specific, but we'll have something based on the series on TV, a so-called "anniversary" project based on a prior TV series, and something that isn't based on any show at all. So those three projects are all being worked on.
This is because we realized that only the people who follow the TV shows understand our movies. So we're reflecting on that. The core fans will obviously show up for our spring, summer, and winter movies, but with the number of Riders increasing, some people, even us, will forget about certain Riders, and their forms, etc… That's not a big problem for the super dedicated fans, but the average viewer will be completely lost. Lately, it's been feeling more like we've been alienating part of the audience.
That's why, and this is just my way of putting it… We should make things that old people like me can enjoy, too. I honestly think it's important that someone who's not watching the show could catch the trailer and think, "Wow! That movie looks interesting!"
The things that triggered this line of thought are probably [Kamen Rider] Black Sun and Shin Kamen Rider. We've had some experience now — and I'm not saying we'll make stuff like those again — but we're making movies that anyone can enjoy, movies that can stand on their own. We've got a few of those lined up, so I hope everyone can look forward to them.
Tell us about Super Sentai's future as we come into its 50th anniversary.
Shirakura: Next year, 2025, will be the first Super Sentai series' 50th anniversary year.
Super Sentai up 'till now— Let's use [Kikai Sentai] Zenkaiger and its "#45 Bang!" as an example— We've celebrated anniversaries based on the number of series, but I'd like to start celebrating based on the actual years. The reason being… Also, [Pirate Sentai] Gokaiger was heavily pushed for being the 35th series, which begs the question, "why all the emphasis on the numbers that end in 5, like 35 and 45?" It's because we wanted to match with Kamen Rider.
I forget whose idea it was, probably Suzuki Takeyuki, I think, but we've been doing these "double anniversaries". We say it's to celebrate both Rider and Sentai, but we just don't want Rider taking all the spotlight. So that's what we've been doing, but I think it's best if we stopped coupling Rider and Sentai together so much. Rider and Sentai should each have their own space. That's why we're revamping the way we count these.
[laughs] Besides, if we're honest, we're not even sure how many Sentai there are anymore. It's all LuPat's fault, really, [referring to Thief Sentai Lupinranger VS Police Sentai Patranger] because now the amount of years, the amount of shows, and the amount of Sentai all no longer match each other!
It's not really a total reset or anything, but we're ignoring the number of series and number of teams and just celebrating the actual anniversaries from now on. Though, I guess it works out, because considering LuPat, next up is the 50th Sentai and the 50th anniversary year, and this isn't a chance we'll ever get again.
What can you tell us about the Super Sentai series airing in 2025?
Shirakura: In 2025, after Boonboomger finishes its run, it'll be followed by a new show starring a new Sentai.
A while ago, I was outside Toei when I ran into this guy Ricardo, from Brazil. I was like, "I haven't seen you in six years!", and he told me "Shirakura! I heard about the new Sentai!"
Oh? Looks like someone's here...
(The second part of this interview will release on TTFC on December 29th)
#tokusatsu#super sentai#kamen rider#kamen rider gavv#bakuage sentai boonboomger#boonboomger#gozyuger#king-ohger#ohsama sentai king-ohger#gotchard#kamen rider gotchard#toei#production interview#zenkaiger#gokaiger#lupinranger vs patranger#whatever else he mentioned in this lmao
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Hey absolutely love your stuff (obviously since I keep requesting lol) anyways could I request Adam who somehow survived after getting beaten up by Lucifer and stabbed who even knows how many times by Niffty gets found by the reader who while an overlord isn't that powerful is super rich (I also picture them being like a mix of Alastor and Vox where like Alastor still holds a lot of more old timey views but also tries to adapt with the changing views like Vox) and decides to take him back to his mansion to try and help him survive (wants to make a few bucks later using him) after a bit the two share an oh fuck moment when they realized they have caught feelings. I hope you have a wonderful day/night!
Overlord reader?? Uh fuck yeah!! I fucking love this ask so much xoxo/p
Bird of Hell's Paradise
Chains on my lips just add flames to the fire
pairing: Adam x male!reader
warnings: language & sexual tension
note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers
The battlefield was a mess through and through and while the devil and his daughter had built up the hotel again, a new, more inviting looking building was now located on the lonely hill in the pride ring, you still felt Adam's presence. The residents of the hazbin hotel must've already forgotten about him and therefore didn't notice you at all, too caught up in their doing.
The first man was badly injured and while you normally wouldn't care for such things, especially because it was an exorcist angel, this case was special. Because not only was the brunette laying in front of your feet the first man god had ever created, no, he was also the leader of said exorcists. You could only imagine how many sinners and Hellborn people would pay a good amount of money to harm him, even if it was just the slightest injury possible. So you bowed down and scooped the passed out man in your arms. If these sinners and even Lucifer didn't care for him, you would put him to good use. For your own benefit that was, but no one had to know about that yet. So you carried the first man across the entire pride ring of hell until you reached your home. The brunette man in your arms was still unconscious and given the blood he had lost and the hits he had taken that was pretty normal.
Once inside your mansion, you headed to the hospital wing, walking through the building with slow, heavy steps that echoed through the empty hallways. The hospital wing was close to the entrance, a decision you had made after stumbling through the doors with a fatal wound that had been exposing your guts. It was quicker to reach in an emergency and while those rarely occurred, you didn't like the risk. You put the first man down onto one of the beds, your claw sliced smoothly through the fabric of his once holy robe to get it out of the way. You needed to take care of the stab wounds the nifty little demon girl had caused. The stabs were deep but nothing you couldn't fix. You gave Adam one last glance before you stepped over to the medicine cabinet and for a quick moment you asked yourself why Lilith and Eve had left Adam, he wasn't bad looking at all, quite the opposite. And Lucifer had mentioned that Adam had ‘kinda let himself go’ which meant back when the two women were married to him, he must have looked even better. You quickly shook your head, what in the devil's name were you even thinking?
With wound cleaning supplies and a healing potion you stepped back to Adam's bed, the first human ever seemed to be slowly waking up. He braced his palms against the mattress, tried to lift himself up but you were quick to push him back down, the more he moved while his wounds were still ripped open the more blood he lost. And while Adam would be able to recover either way, the more blood stayed inside of his body, the better. At least that's what you thought. “Stay,” you hummed as you cleaned the blood from his skin. It was unusual to clean off golden blood instead of the red mess you were so used to. But you didn't mind, didn't care even.
Adam flinched away from your touch, tried to lift himself up yet again. Your hand took a hold of his throat and held him down by it, “I said stay, stupid angel.” Adam's eyes seemed to clear up a little, the fog that had covered his golden eyes, had made them seem yellow, lifted and the brunette stared at you, clearly not knowing what to feel. You saw anger in his eyes, rage and hatred but at the same time there was fear. Fear and pain.
Once the blood was no longer staining his perfect skin, you took the potion you had grabbed, popped the cork and held the smooth, cold glass against his bottom lip, “Open up,” you demanded, yet your voice stayed gentle. Adam hesitated and you really couldn't blame him. “It will cause your wounds to heal,” you explained to the former leader of the exorcists and he seemed to consider his opinions for a moment. Then he actually parted his lips and let you spill the disgusting liquid onto his tongue. His face scrunched up at the bitter taste and he kept the liquid in his mouth. “Swallow it, Adam.” Adam looked up at you, once again seemingly considering alternatives he had. Given the fact that he did as you told him, there hadn't been many.
Adam checked his chest as the wounds that had caused enough pain to make him pass out healed quickly. The only hint left that they ever even existed were golden scars that seemed to be permanent from now on, but the first man couldn't complain, could he? He was still alive and on top of that there was no more pain. The first man frowned at you, mistrust was lingering heavy in his eyes as golden orbs followed your every move. Yet he remained silent, not a single word was falling from his lips.
Your hand that had been holding him down by his throat let go of him and Adam was sitting up right in his bed in an instant. His hands traced over the new found scars, you watched him in silence. There was something about him, about his vibe that was different. It wasn't the fact that he was an angel, no, even though that made his vibe different too, but it was something soft, something afraid to break. You cleared your throat loudly and Adam's eyes were on you within a heartbeat, while mistrust still lingered heavy in them, curiosity was close behind and you couldn't help but catch yourself that you were curious about him too.
-
Adam always bragged about being the first man, like that was his biggest accomplishment and if you looked at it from a different viewpoint it wasn't even his accomplishment but God’s, Adam didn't create himself after all. Yet it was the only thing worth mentioning whenever he didn't want to do something, “I’m the fucking man, not your fucking housewife, I'm not gonna fucking clean that.” You sighed as you took a step towards Adam and he flinched, trying to back up but his back hit the kitchen counter sooner than expected. Your hands grabbed a hold of his waist and you effortlessly lifted him up to sit on said counter, Adam was taken aback by that.
It had been a couple of weeks since you had found and saved him and the mistrust that had been filling his eyes from the first second on had never truly left them. He would always leash out on you only to back down as soon as you reacted in some way that seemed too unpredictable for him. “When will you learn to think before you speak?” Your voice held a certain amount of softness, it always did when you were speaking to Adam. The guy wasn't a threat to you, not in his current situation. And you were trying to use that to your advantage. Because he was scared, basically a deer in the headlights, why not put that fear to use? You nudged his knees apart to stand between his legs, still taller than him you hovered over the first man with a mix between a sly grin and a soft smile. “When you start to suck my fucking dick,” you chuckled as his choice of words, very aware that he simply wanted you to fuck off and leave him be, you acted oblivious to that. One hand was placed on the counter to steady yourself, right next to his thigh, the other grabbed his chin to tilt his head upwards, forcing the brunette to look you in the eyes.
“Right now? Right here?” your voice sounded so delicious, Adam wanted to eat it up, in fact, he wanted to devour you entirely, feast on every piece you had to offer and only stop once he swallowed it all. In Christ's holy name, what was he thinking? Your lips were so close to his, so so close, all he would need to do was - he leaned into your touch, why he wasn't sure, it was as if his body was following a call sent to him by nature itself. And then his lips met yours and a low groan spilled from his throat as his hands grabbed your shoulder firmly, he was afraid you'd pull back, that you'd leave him like Lilith and Eve had and he didn't even know why. Why was he afraid of losing you, a sinner, a man he barely knew? He couldn't wrap his mind around it. And yet he kissed you like his life was depending on it.
The hand that had been braced against the counter was now on his thigh, squeezing the soft flesh playfully and drawing a delicious sound from Adam's lips. Oh you could drown in the noises the first man made, the little huffs and puffs, his groans that he tried to keep as quiet as possible, the whimpers he would later deny. Adam was the most beautiful creature that had ever set a foot into hell and you mentally punched yourself in the face for wanting to use him to make money. There was no way you'd use such a divine, holy and glorious man for that, no. Adam was yours, your little secret and you'd keep it, keep him.
When you two partened a sting of saliva connected your lips and both of your eyes were hazy, he looked blissed out and it was then that you decided you wanted to see him like that more often - as often as possible. You were to lean in yet again, wanting more, needing more. But your phone rang. “Pick it up, bet it's something fucking important, they don't fucking call overlords for shits and giggles, do they?” You knew Adam was right and you hated it. You pushed your body away from the first man's and you saw how he wanted to reach out, wanted to keep you close but didn't say a thing about it. You grabbed your phone off the dining table and answered the call, “The fuck do you want, Vox?” It was the first time Adam had heard you speaking so vulgarly, you usually seemed to be collected, considering your words wisely, but that? In the name of God, that was truly something else. And it was ridiculously hot. “No I fucking can't, ask someone else,” and with that you hung up, tossed your phone carelessly back onto the table and found your place between his legs yet again. “Where were we?” you hummed through hooded eyes. And it was only then that the two of you seemed to realize what exactly you had just done, what you were about to do again.
Both of your eyes widened and the next thing you felt were Adam's hands on your body, not just your shoulder this time but also your waist, your chest, your thighs, your back. It seemed as if he was claiming you with his hands and the worst part of it? You truly didn't mind, you even enjoyed his touch on you, leaned into it and closed your eyes to fully focus on his hands roaming over your body.
Fuck, you had fallen deep for this man, way deeper than you ever thought you'd fall. But Adam had followed you, had fallen with you.
“You were about to suck me off,” Adam mumbled, his voice already sounded fucked out and you hadn't even started yet.
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Artistic Expression as a Form of Love: aka Some Meta About Interview with the Vampire
hey guess who spent all of today putting off a really boring work task
So I'm just suddenly just having a lot of feelings about how love is tied to creation in Interview with the Vampire.
Specifically, each character's artistic impulses and what they say about their relationships, and how they use their creative output as a sort of love language.
From the very first episode, we see hints of this. Miss Lilly asks about Lestat's music box, which plays a song he wrote for Nicholas once upon a time, evidence of his love for someone who's been dead for over a century.
He later writes his own song for Louis, 'Come to Me', and Claudia makes the connection explicit while deliberately poking at him -- he wrote a song for each of his true loves, but does one signal love more strongly than the other?
She's being facetious to prod at him, but the show seems to genuinely make the point that we can track each characters' relationships through the art we see them create.
After all, we see it with Claudia herself later -- even before there's any discussion of becoming companions, we can feel Madeleine's compatibility with Claudia in the way she makes dresses for her.
Madeleine dresses Claudia as the grown woman she wants to be seen as, as she really is, even before she fully understands the circumstances of Claudia's age. It's telling that in Madeleine's dying vision, the one that convinces Louis of her love for Claudia, that Claudia is wearing a dress that Madeleine made for her.
By contrast, we see how Claudia is incompatible with the coven in the role that they have quite literally written for her. If Madeleine shows her love by treating Claudia as an adult, the coven shows their lack of caring by creating artwork where Claudia is forced into playing a part that diminishes her.
In turn, we can see Claudia's enthusiasm for the coven tied into her willingness to perform -- she starts off trying to smile her way through the situation, before quickly growing tired of the performance (and, relatedly, the coven itself).
But then again, how does the coven show its real loyalties? Well, with a painting.
We don't know who painted Lestat (Armand, possibly?), but having artwork of him in a place of prominence is pretty telling. But then again, the theater's creation is itself a reflection of art as a signifier of love & bonding -- Lestat suggests a theater to a lonely Armand as a way to regain a family/coven structure, after the last one fell apart.
Which makes particular sense for Armand, the character who most explicitly equates artistic expression with love and understanding. We see him underline it in his own telling of his backstory -- "No one has painted me in over 400 years." He associates painting with being seen and cared for by his maker --
-- and yet we, the audience, can plainly see what a warped, toxic relationship it was from the painting itself : a whitewashed version of Armand's face that doesn't truly look like him.
Hell, we even see Armand's betrayal of Louis in the form of creative expression -- to quote Daniel, "He directed the play!"
His treason isn't just that he sold Louis & Claudia out, it's that he participated in a creation that would condemn them. Artistic expression shows us love and loyalty in this world, yes, but it can also be used as a tool of abuse or betrayal.
Which brings us to Louis, he who has the eye for art but maybe not the skill for it, who never said 'I love you' to Lestat and wouldn't call Armand his companion, who ultimately gives up on creation in favor of becoming a collector.
It's especially interesting that his abandonment of photography is also explicitly tied to the end of his visions of Dreamstat. Even the one photo he takes that garners praise is one he tries taking of Armand & Dreamstat at the same time -- as if the closest he can get to expressing love through creation is something that blurs the lines between both men he has complicated feelings for. (Note that the scene where he develops the photo is directly after the "Show me the only way you know how to love" sequence of Louis bashing some guy's head into a wall.)
Hell, if we want to take it even further, we can even see some of this pretense in the inclusion of the Fred Stein photos (assuming Armand actually did sneak them in). On one level, we can see it as Armand trying to build up Louis' happiness, but on the other, it's him trying to build up the image of their romance.
After all, if artistic creation is a sign of love -- especially to Armand! -- what does it mean if Louis is openly disparaging his own abilities to make anything at all?
Taking it further, what does it say that he and Armand have a collection of photos of various boys over the years and expensive artwork hanging on every wall, but Louis doesn't seem to have taken any pictures of Armand in almost eighty years?
And hey, speaking of fascinating boys: what does it mean when Louis hasn't made anything creative of Armand since the 1940s, but he has no problem writing a book for ten hours with some guy he picked up at the bar?
Hell, writing a book where Louis spends ten hours talking about his life and hasn't even gotten up to the part with Armand yet? The supposed love of his life doesn't even garner a mention, to the point where Daniel didn't even know he existed when he arrives fifty years later.
And what does it mean when that book you never wrote is a giant hanging thread in your life, enough to create a connection strong enough that you remember that guy fifty years later and go back to that writing it? Even over the objections of the love of your life?
Especially when find out that Daniel's entire writing career is sparked in part by inspirational words given to him by Louis -- a sign of their bond withstanding the test of time, enough to make them friends after a fifty year absence.
That said, if we're working with the idea of artistic expression as proof of connection -- especially when it comes to Armand -- then it also makes perfect sense why Armand would insert himself into the interview once he's been revealed.
Then it's no longer about Louis & Daniel, or Louis & Lestat, it's about Louis & Armand and artistic proof of their connection! They're both now creating a story, a book that will include their entire romance! It's the first time that Armand has had the possibility of being an artistic subject in decades, so no wonder he's quick to latch onto it.
Even then, though: I think it's interesting that when Armand is talking to Daniel alone, the first story he thinks to tell him about is his relationship with Lestat. Make of that what you will.
(Also, I've said this before, but I am very curious what Armand's feelings towards Daniel will be after having an entire book written in which he plays a starring role.)
I think that this is all very rich with subtext and possible further progression, especially since we are about to enter a season where a new book is being written by Daniel and there's going to be an entire tour's worth of music being performed, all of it ripe with potential for further relationship nuance.
And while I don't want to wander too far into book spoiler territory, I think this might even neatly factor into a potential Season 4 -- especially since book fans will know that a specific musical performance is the catalyst for a lot of what happens in The Queen of the Damned.
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#loustat#claudeleine#lesmand#armandaniel#devil's minion#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#claudia de lioncourt#claudia de pointe du lac#madeleine eparvier#daniel molloy#i wrote this when i was supposed to be filling in a spreadsheet
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Whenever I see antis saying that Zuko was rude or selfish to confront Katara about her anger towards him, I always have to roll my eyes at the attempt to make a big deal out of a conflict that was already solved in canon, and there's a lot to be said about how Zuko is actually the only one to care enough about Katara's emotional state to recognize that she needs help, and that's something the show literally spells out by having the others just sit there confused (even though they were there when Katara told them about how she felt about Zuko and his betrayal in Ba Sing Se, so it's odd that none of them seem to understand what's going on when it's quite obvious to the viewers.)
But another aspect of this is that Katara's behavior is explicitly a cry for help. A lot of her angry and dramatic reactions towards Zuko are extremely over-the-top, not to characterize Katara as unreasonable, but to show that Katara's bitterness towards Zuko is masking the hurt she felt towards him. In "The Western Air Temple," she spells this out to the gaang, telling them that she felt like he was really confused and hurt, and that she felt sorry for him, but then states that he was just pretending to be a real human being. Of course, Katara does not really believe that Zuko is not a real person with feelings, and her confrontation with him later in the episode reveals that her anger at him actually stems from knowing that he's actually all too human. Because she knows now that he's capable of making mistakes, even when his intentions are good.
The fact that Katara chooses to confront Zuko alone at the end of this episode also makes Zuko confronting her at the beginning of "The Southern Raiders" a circular part of their arc. What's that about yin and yang always circling each other?
But what's more, is that Katara continues to have these exaggerated reactions to Zuko, often going out of her way to needle him. This is not the behavior of someone who wants nothing to do with another person. It could be behavior indicative that Katara wants to hurt Zuko because he hurt her, but then you have situations like her asking to hear his tea joke, which she wouldn't do if all she wanted was for him to stay away from Aang.
Then, when Zuko saves Katara from falling rocks at the beginning of "The Southern Raiders," her reaction is immediate and accusatory at him landing on top of her. It's a very obviously romantically coded scene, and a large part of the humor is derived from Katara acting like Zuko is doing it on purpose, which of course he is not. There's no way Katara would really think that, right? So why does she accuse him of it?
I would argue that she did it for the same reason she confronted him alone in "The Western Air Temple," the same reason she makes exaggerated statements about his lack of humanity, the same reason she is constantly needling him.
Katara wants Zuko's attention. She wants him to know how she feels, all the anger, hurt, and betrayal, and thus, all the things she did feel under Ba Sing Se, when she thought it was possible that he was someone she had connected with. And she wants to know if he feels the same way, and is angry if he doesn't, or angry if he does, because that makes the betrayal even worse.
So when Katara makes another needling comment towards Zuko before stalking off, while everyone but Zuko continues to sit and puzzle over what could possibly be wrong, I'm pretty sure that some part of Katara wanted Zuko to follow her, to ask her what was wrong, to care.
The fact that she forgives him at the end of the episode is confirmation of this. Zuko is not admonished by the narrative or told that he should mind his own business, or forced to learn a lesson about how it was selfish of him to ask for forgiveness. The focus is on Zuko trying to figure out what Katara needs, recognizing that she needs something from him, and even being able to admit that he doesn't specifically know how to give it to her but letting her figure it out for herself.
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omgomg okay mtl of ateez to like having a virgin s/o vs an experienced one :3
Ohhhh that's an inch resting question 👀
prefers a virgin s/o
Hongjoong
Seonghwa
Yunho
San
Jongho
Wooyoung
Mingi
Yeosang
prefers an experienced s/o
I'm a firm believer of both Hongjoong and Seonghwa with a corruption kink tbh, so I believe they prefer a virgin s/o! But I think it presents very differently in the two. Hongjoong's inner devil will be activated all the time, he'll have sooo much fun teasing and flustering you and testing out your limits. Is going to introduce you to everything he's ever dreamed of in a sexual context - he'll be careful that you're comfortable at all times though!!! But he certainly will get off on your innocence alone, and might even push the teasing towards humiliation if it turns out you're into that. Meanwhile Seonghwa is going to be much softer and might actually seem a bit innocent as well? But don't be fooled, the way you react to all these sensations he's making you feel for the first time really just makes him want to ruin you. Could spend entire days just getting you off in all possible ways he can think of, just because he can't get enough of your embarrassed whines and the expressions you make
My gut feeling tells me Yunho would like being with an inexperienced s/o just a little more than with an experienced one. Don't get me wrong, he's fine with either, but knowing that someone trusts him enough to have all their firsts with him just makes him feel so needed and appreciated. And he'll be so soft and caring as he guides you through those experiences, especially if it really is the very first time you're doing something. But I also think that after a while, and after you've figured out how to best communicate during intimate moments, he will get the irresistible urge to tease you a bit too. Watches you closely as he gets you off slowly, praising you and calling you dirty for enjoying yourself so much, and he relishes in the flustered reactions he draws out of you
As for San, Jongho and Wooyoung, I think for the most part the three of them don't care. Though I do think if they had to choose, San would prefer someone inexperienced, and Wooyoung would prefer someone experienced. All three of them would take really good care of someone who doesn't have much experience, if any, and make sure to ease their partner into every new thing they're trying out together. They're comfortable taking the lead and will be very careful that you feel good at all times. However, they'd also have a lot of fun with an experienced partner, and I think Wooyoung especially would be down bad for someone who might even have more experience than him
Lastly, Mingi and Yeosang strike me as the types to be more comfortable with an experienced partner, simply because that will make them feel safest. I think they both need a lot of reassurance at the start of the relationship especially. I also think once Mingi has reached that level of comfort, there's gonna be a lot of surprises waiting for his partner (his kinky and more dominant sides jumping out 👀), so it's a plus when he's with someone who can handle and navigate all of that more easily than an untouched virgin would! Yeosang wouldn't turn out quite as freaky lol, but still likes it when he has someone who can take the lead more easily than he can. Though for both of them what matters the most is mutual trust, and in the end if the person they're with happens to be completely innocent, then y'all are still gonna find a way to make this work!
#aaaaaa this was fun to think about!!!#ateez smut#ateez imagines#ateez x reader#ateez x gn reader#ateez mtl#ateez hard hours#ateez hard thoughts#hongjoong smut#seonghwa smut#yunho smut#yeosang smut#san smut#mingi smut#wooyoung smut#jongho smut#smut#mtl
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What would you do if you knew you couldn't fall??
Did you mean "fail?" Unless you meant literally falling, I will answer as if you wrote "fail." You can correct me if that is the wrong interpretation, and I could answer the question again.
Assign first-class experts to solve the world's problems... so I wouldn't have to do it all—assuming the technicality is that I start the projects, then they probably would not fail. Would that loophole work? (Realistically, if it didn't work, I don't think I'd actually be altruistic enough to do all that...) Would I have to see the projects through to completion? That's quite a lot of work. But doing this would likely mean I will probably have a clean conscience for the rest of my life, ideally, because, I know I should if I had the power to do so.
In relation to #1, even if this is non-necessary, also assign people to figure out if there's life on other planets. I just want to know. Don't need to contact whatever is out there—I don't want anything to go wrong. I'd just want to possibly spy on them for a little while. The problem is: spying is unethical, so I'd have to convince myself that I'm either doing it for cautionary reasons or as a longitudinal, naturalistic "study." This could be a pandora's jar, so I might take it off the list.
Cure stupidity and herd mentality. (Curing all physical ailments is built into no. 1 already.) Or better yet, get someone else to do it. (At the same time, we could argue that these qualities are part of being human or flawed, and that we shouldn't tamper with our human-ness. In which case, just no. Also, we would lose part of our former connection to literature, pre-cure. For instance, we would no longer comprehend the meaning of the trope: "love causes poor judgment." So, would it be worth it? Even if the world were terraformed and otherwise reshaped in more metaphorical ways to be "perfect," I think we would still manage to invent new problems because it's what we've always done as a species. Thus, there needs to be a reasonable stopping point. And, I'm not sure what that point is, meaning several other items on this list might have to be struck out.)
Have the world's politicians be... better somehow? Ensure they are sane and moral, that they trust science, are scientifically-literate... I feel, perhaps, like we might get better results if we chose science-fiction writers, particularly those who've managed to predict our present and know how to do social commentary. They seem to be aware of and actually care about the state of humanity. (I'm not really well-informed enough to make any decisions, but I know well enough that the world needs people of varied knowledge and skillsets to continue on. So, I'm not completely, intentionally trying to valorize only what I'm interested in. I'm just biased like any other human being is.)
Delegate everything I don't like doing to competent people (like cooking), and reap the benefits of the exact outcomes I'd want every time. If they were successful, I'd never have a problem with dust and no one would ever move my stacks of books and paper, which often collect dust.
Turn myself immortal and gain eternal youth. (This should probably be item no. 1 on the list, actually, to account for how long the first few tasks could potentially take.) Then use those means on others who would want it done. If it's someone I don't like, I could still let them become immortal, and would just tell them after this favor not to cross paths with me again. I would also try to convince anyone I want to keep around to stay.
No. 6 would attract too much publicity. I'd need a way to continue being relatively anonymous, except for what I would selectively want to be recognized for. (If I couldn't fail at it, I'd love to become the next "Shakespeare" or some kind of literary giant... and maybe then have the world forget about me... and be rediscovered and reinterpreted by future generations who use my original and/or revolutionary works as required reading in their syllabi. That'd be striking and cool. I'm not sure how I would stop suffering from belatedness though.)
Find a way to never sleep, never eat, never exercise, and not experience cognitive decline. I would only do the ones I like doing.
Find a way to resurrect people from the dead. (I already know this has too much margin for catastrophe, so there would have to be restrictions on what can and cannot be done. At the same time, I am also aware this would violate nature, so it might have to be removed from the list. Who am I to decree the rules?)
I haven't addressed religion yet. I'd have to find some way to alleviate my guilt, but that's more of a temporary fix and not a real solution. I'd have to find some way to remain a mostly good or at least harmless person, assuming I'm mostly one now. If there's no reason for anyone, any force, or anything to object to my existence, I would hope I would be allowed to continue on with my plans.
If there were some way to affirm what I think my personal beliefs are, that would be great. At the same time, that defeats the point of faith, and so, I'm not sure what to do about this dilemma.
Learn everything I want to learn now that I have infinite time to learn it (and infinite time to procrastinate).
Consume all the media I want to consume and also never miss new installments or works of art because I wouldn't be outlived by creators.
Become some kind of successful writer. I mentioned this before, but to specify: maybe a novelist or maybe an academic critic—why not both?! Sky's the limit!
Eventually, if I could never fail, I might wonder about whether anything could ever be a challenge or worth doing anymore. (Doubt that will happen since I have a fear of failure anyway—and being cured of it would be a wonderful reality to live in!)
And so, I could want to die eventually. (Again, highly doubt that will happen.)
In case: It's not my top priority, but: study philosophy, so I don't become corrupt, apathetic, or suicidal since I know things can happen to the human psyche after too long.
If no. 1 didn't happen, and humans were faced with climate change as well as other problems, then I would want to die before the planet were barren and ruined, so I wouldn't have to live under dystopian conditions.
Some of the above might not happen because I may procrastinate too much. That would suggest that the revised item no. 1 should be: conquer procrastination once and for all, and only then proceed in a rough order.
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Is your request still open? If yes... May i've a request for Male ( dominant ) reader with Eli Jang , Like the tall male reader and also the one who always helps Eli Jang even though the male reader is not very close to him However, Male readers are people who care behind their rude, relaxed attitude and also really like to be frank.And also the male reader who often takes turns looking after Hyena with Eli Jang, when they are out for a walk with Hyena,The male reader will unconsciously put his arm around Eli Jang's shoulder or waist as a form of protection because when they are walking in a park after going to the supermarket To buy hyena diapers because Eli Jang was carrying hyena with him at that time.Then when Hyena first learned to walk and the little baby girl walked towards the male reader instead of towards Eli Jang and called the male reader "APPA" ( Father ) Then the male reader teaches Hyena Jang to call Eli Jang Daddy as a form of joke while smiling broadly and laughing very hard with Hyena Jang who also laughs.
✨✨✨ Your blog is my favorite blog on the list🧁
Appa!
Male Reader
Requested by: @animeboyfriend01
Request Rules.
Masterlist
Awww, thank you so muchhh!! And Hyena is Yenna, since that is her name in the WEBTOON.
Eli was lucky to have [Name] to have as his boyfriend.
[Name] was quite rude, lazy and was always seen relaxing or sleeping. But people found it hot, with the constant smirk on his face as he teased the girls and boys around him which cause them to reduce nothing but a blushing mess.
He was quite like the rest of the Vocal and Dance Department, quite cocky and talk the talk but he could walk the walk.
He didn't know how he managed to have [Name] as his boyfriend but it just happened one day, even if the male seemed rude, and lazy. He was really caring, he protected Eli a lot before they eventually got to know each other.
From the other's boy subtle? Threats, but especially from Vin Jin. But not only to him but to other people too, especially from Vin Jin's bullying.
He was caring even if people didn't think he was, Eli was happy to have [Name] be his boyfriend.
They got together but only saw each other during school grounds, [Name] was always curious on why Eli would disappear after school and he always refused to hang out or go out on a date after school, even if Eli didn't saw. He knew how hurt [Name] was on he constantly denied invitations out for dates.
He didn't mean to, but he had Yenna to take care of. How could he leave his daughter unattended.
But Eli knew it must've hurt [Name]. He wanted to tell [Name] but he was scared that [Name] would be disgusted, break up with him and tell the whole school. Though he constantly reminded himself that [Name] wouldn't do that.
But, [Name] eventually found out when Eli and Yenna were out grocery shopping. Eli wanted to cover up that he was just babysitting but [Name] wasn't stupid, he could see the resemblance with Yenna and Eli.
Eli was relieved when [Name] was accepting, he understands Eli and didn't mind.
So it eventually turned to [Name] babysitting Yenna after school whenever Eli goes out for work which the male really appreciate it a lot, sometimes he would come home and see Yenna and [Name] cuddle up on the couch asleep as the TV was playing.
Drools on their chin, Eli took a ton of pictures and would look at it with happiness.
And now, it was any ordinary day. Just the three of them, out shopping. [Name] arms wrapped around Eli's waist who was holding Yenna in his arms.
[Name] was carrying the bags of grocery and the other bag, full of Yenna's stuff. Milk, toys, clothes and diapers.
They attracted a lot of attention, especilaly Eli. I mean, who couldn't blame them. The man was attracted as hell, and Eli is the most attractive boy in the entire school, possibly beating Daniel in terms of look.
[Name] was jealous of course, seeing the infatuated look on the people's face once they see Eli. He would glare at them but it would do the exact opposite of course, having a handsome guy glare at you? hooweee, might as well thank the gods.
They were now in the park, Eli and Yenna were exploring the park while [Name] was lounging around the bench with the bag of groceries.
"[Name]!" He looked up from his phone and saw Yenna walking slowly to him with a happy and excited Eli behind her. "She's walking!" Eli smiled at him as [Name] broke a wide smile, seeing Eli's bright smile and Yenna walking on her own.
"Oh my!" "She's finally walking [Name]!" [Name] took a video as Yenna walked towards him, she stood near [Name] and held onto his leg and smiled up at him. Eli was smiling so happily that it brought the sun to shame.
"Appa!" Yenna said looking at [Name], they both froze hearing Yenna say Appa, they both looked at each other. "D-Did..." "She call you..." "Appa?" They both continued each other's words before [Name] pulled Yenna in his arms and hugged her tightly but not too tight. "Oh my god!! She just called me Appa! Did you hear that Eli?! She called me Appa!" [Name] said smooching his cheek with Yenna who was smiling and laughing happily at what was going on.
Eli smiled happily, Yenna had already called him dad and to think Yenna would call his boyfriend Appa. It was really heartwarming, they were a family. And he can't wait for the both of them to get married eventually in the future.
"Now, call Eli daddy." [Name] said to Yenna who was giggling, Eli blushed a little at the word as he softly smacked [Name] back. "[Name]!" Eli said as [Name] looked at him with a smirk.
"What?" He teased. "C'mon, Yenna." [Name] said as Eli smacked him once more as Yenna just laughed and clapped her hands together.
"Oww! What? Do you want it to be only you calling me dad-" Eli smacked [Name] hardly on the head who laughed as well as Yenna. "[Name]!!!"
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