#(also obviously if you have a different interpretation of them that's chill i'm just joking around here)
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iamprometheus · 2 years ago
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I think the most important thing about Bitemark is that it HAS to be about two horrible people making each other at least ten times worse. The moment you woobify either of them you lose
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langernameohnebedeutung · 1 year ago
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Hey, I wanted to say I really love your takes on Borderlands, particularly with Nisha and her relationship with Jack. I wanted to get your thoughts on that particular line in the DLC where Jack said it's always me doing all the work and she goes I've said that before. I've noticed some fans tend to take that joke seriously and I thought of it as a light-hearted joke between those two. What are your thoughts?
hmm...I feel like there are several layers to this? Or at least, from what we know and don't know about their relationship, there are different possible interpretations of it.
(Like, I wrote one Nisha/Jack fic where this definitely was the case ...but in fairness that was also right after Jack got the vault-symbol punched in his face so-)
I think one very simple layer of this is that Nisha just very consistently likes to poke fun at Jack. We see a lot of that in Borderlands 2. Which is really an aspect of her personality - she likes to make jabs at other people. So yeah, obviously if he says something like that and she has a good comeback, she's not going to let that slide.
And on a deeper level of that: I think it's important to keep in mind that Jack and Nisha are both very dangerous people with extreme trust issues. Who somehow try to make a relationship work. And on the one hand, it makes sense that these two would get on like a house on fire. But on the other hand, it's kind of an undertaking that relies on a LOT of mutual understanding and trust. For that relationship to work, these two people, who are in the eyes of everyone else (except maybe Wilhelm who doesn't care) a duo of sadistic hypocrites, need to find a way to integrate each other into their very self-centred worldview. Their entire modus operandi is to apply rules to others that they don't apply to themselves - or to one another. And I think their banter is (on a subconscious level) one way of confirming "hey, things are good, we're having fun, I'm happy in this relationship, I still care about you" without ever being forced to be deep about this.
This is something that we also get a lot with Nisha: When Nisha says mean stuff about people, there is often a wide difference in quality. It makes a huge difference whether you are her friend that she wants to poke fun at, some idiot NPC that she considers below her notice, someone she just happens to dislike for her own reasons (like Moxxi in the beginning of TPS) or someone she has a sincere vendetta against (like Lilith and Moxxi at the end of TPS). What really sets all of these apart is the tone and the way in which she says those rude things. And whether she makes threats. That's why Nisha engaging in friendly banter with Jack is a pretty important aspect of their communication.
Another aspect I think is that Nisha and Jack are very performative people. Like, one of them puts up golden statues, and the other one larps as a western Sheriff. And while I think there are slightly different reasons for this (I think Jack buys more into his image or at least...depends more on it to feel good about his more monstrous side. While Nisha's more chill side seems a lot more authentic and more "two parts of the same coin" rather than "mask"), I also think that their relationship and especially THEIR ability to get along and THEIR ability to take criticism from one another and THEIR ability to understand each other's...pretty impenetrable moral code is something that they can have a lot of fun with. Because now they can project out at the world: "See how perfectly we reasonable we are? We are sure getting along. We don't understand why you all insist on not simply getting with the very evident and not-at-all-murderouly-hypocritical programme."
Now, I think the big question for a lot of people in the fandom is: How much (does it?) reflect on their actual sex life.
And ...without much contex about their actual relationship, I think there are several interpretations are possible:
Nisha literally just says it to be funny. As in, she just thought it was a funny moment to say that line. Like a "yo mama" joke.
The joke is that Nisha said it before in a different context that the Vault Hunters know about. e.g. the fact that Jack rarely accompanies them to their mission.
Or it is indeed a comment on their sex life. The thing is, I feel like the insinuation has always been that their sex life is pretty damn good. I think there is even a confirmation of that from Anthony Burch himself but I cannot be bothered to look for it - really, my reasoning is that Nisha is presented as a very sexual person and these two are often presented as very much on the same wavelength sexually. Quite frankly, I don't think Nisha would stay if she was genuinely unhappy with their sex life. A possible interpretation I do see is that they are both Nisha very canonically, Jack frequently implied, switches. So I think if we were to take the comment at face value and assume that a) she really "said that before and b) it was about sex - I would interpret it as "she has been playing the dominant part a lot lately"
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mightnotfeelrealbutitsok · 2 months ago
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This is so funny I'm p sure I've seen that post on my dash before. (I checked the reblogs, I didn't reblog it so don't bother)
Okay I'm just going to go through one by one:
I love endgame. It's not esp my vibe but it 100% deserves it's spot on rep
Idk if its the writing style, but something about the 1989 vault is a bit different
Yes folklore is probably a bit less catchy, but I think it's the vibe. Also it can be catchy, the "ooh godDAaaaAMN" from Ivy is in a constant loop in my head at all times
I personally do love me!, but I know a lot of swifties don't, so I'm apathetic about this one
Idk. I don't like thank you Aimee, but that's just the song and not because of the theme
Midnights is my fav album, and I haven't been around enough to notice that ig
3am: absolutely not some of my fav songs are on there; anthology: potentially
Yes!!! So high school is like the opposite of romantic to me. Touch me while your bros play gta???
:))) I mean sure some of the deeper theories edge on the side of batshit (affectionate) but who cares! I love watching all the different theories and connections and at the end of the day it probably isn't true but it doesn't matter. Taylor obviously doesn't care and the people rabidly defending her NEED to chill.
Has since been proven wrong, but idk if I would've agreed anyway, I think she was just waiting for the right time.
Overall you have pretty based opinions. I'm very passive when it comes to opinions about songs, I think they're all good in their own ways. I think the most "controversial opinion" I have would be my affection towards gaylors. Some of the milder theories I do believe, but I'm not super attached to it and I love just floating around seeing everyones interpretations. This has gotten me into trouble with some of the uh... rabid swifties. I'm sure you know the type. So at some points it feels like my 'controversial opinions' are that we should be nice to each other.
In that line of thinking then, what's your favourite Taylor "conspiracy theory"? Doesn't have to be one that you believe, just one that you think is really interesting/funny. For example my favourite would have to be that she wrote that marauders fanfic.
Seasons Greasons,
Your Swiftie Secret Santa :))
Ok, just to clarify about the Midnights 3am and Anthology opinion, I was more thinking that having the separate album versions and having so many songs in total was an issue, but not that the songs on the additional versions were the weaker ones (I agree some of them are my favourite songs). so she could've had shorter albums but cut different songs. Also btw what are your favourite songs on Midnights??
Well my favourite conspiracy theory is just the general gaylor theory; tbh I don't really know any others (what's the marauders fic???). There is some evidence for gaylor that I can't really wrap my head around having any other meaning, but then there's also statements she's made and my logical mind says I have to take her word for it that she's not part of the LGBT community? Some of the evidence I get hung up on: the bi wig in YNTCD (why would she specifically wear bi colours??? if showing just general solidarity????) and other bi coloured outfits in conjunction with that; Wonderland and 'left a note on the door with a joke we'd made' (way too specific, but also apparently the dates don't line up?) for Dianna Agron; 'boys and boys and girls and girls' and that one interview where she fumbled her explanation of the lyric; when she sung Riptide to show what it would be like 'if a girl sang it' and from a girl's perspective (proceeds to use she/her pronouns); kind of the entirety of ME! and behind the scenes where she said 'gay pride... everything that makes me me!'; old myspace posts she wrote about girls and the whole Emily the fiddle player thing (and the song Breathe). I guess my biggest motivator for wanting to believe in gaylor is that I get a bi vibe from Taylor, it would make sense to me, and it would make me happy.
I guess a specific conspiracy I find interesting is that Lover era was supposed to be Taylor's coming out.
But some gaylors on here, their ideas are actually unfathomable, but I just try to scroll past those posts and I'm not gonna abuse people about it because there are still worse things to be doing online.
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rubykgrant · 3 years ago
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for the ask prompt: York?
i really love your art, stories, and interpretations on the characters!
hope you have a good day! <3
First impression
I saw the Freelancer flash-backs before Out of Mind, so my first impression of him was a little different than some people; I at first thought he was kind of the "office slacker" kinda dude, like he's really chill but not especially close to anybody... and I wasn't entirely wrong about him being chill, but obviously there is MORE to him than that~
Impression now
A lot of his aloof attitude is intentional to either put people at ease or make them underestimate him; now that I've seen a small glimpse of him VERY early in the Freelancer program (thanks to Wash time traveling), I feel like York used to kind of set aside his real feelings. When he put his armor on, he was Mr Serious! After a while though... this attitude clearly wasn't working. For one thing, EVERYBODY was super stressed-out, and it started to carry over to when they were supposed to relax. So, York would try to make them laugh, remind them of what fun was, but not in a totally irresponsible way. He was just really calm and funny, and it worked! Not only did his companions feel more hopeful because of him, when he started joking around with guards or other enemies, they assumed he was no threat... which meant he had an advantage. York was just an effortlessly charming dude, and the only thing that got in his way was when he tried to hard to no-nonsense
Favorite moment
All the bits with him on the mission to get the Sarcophagus; he was very York-tastic through it all
Idea for a story
I had an AU idea once for a Freelancer/AI/Sim Trooper swap; in which the AI were Freelancers (with Greek Alphabet code-names; Alpha is still the original AI, but he's had his memories taken away and given a false identity as a Freelancer), the original Sim Troopers are now AI Fragments (because they're still supposed to be Alpha's friends that represent ways to help him), and the PFL agents are now Sim Troopers in Blood Gulch. York and North were the dudes on Red Team who just stand around talking all day. York also picks locks so he can hide in closets or storage rooms to take naps and get out of work
Unpopular opinion
I'm not sure how "unpopular" it is? I think York would have bonded fairly well with the other AI as well, and while he perhaps wouldn't have become the Meta (that feels like a specific Maine and Sigma situation), he also would have listened to Sigma and tried to help him (again, the situation would have been different... would it have been better? or worse? hmm!!!)
Favorite relationship
My MOST favorite is him with Delta; they were so close and genuinely cared about each other so deeply... and Delta wanted to stay with him, even when York was dying. That's just EVERYTHING. Obviously him and Carolina is wonderful, and his friendship with North and Wash is good too... but remember what I said about him having a serious side, while also joking around with people? I wish we could have seen more between him, Maine, and Wyoming. I feel like they actually worked really well together (they were even a team against Tex), and had a unique sort of bond. Still, nothing tops York and Delta. I got the vibe that, they didn't always understand each other BUT they understood that it was alright, they could talk about pretty much anything, and they just made each other feel comfortable and safe
Favorite headcanon
I can't think of too many that aren't canon in some way... my own personal HC is that he was genderfluid, York just never got to really talk about it much
Thanks for asking~
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piraticoctopus · 3 years ago
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The ADHD has been in full effect this week, and I typed over 2000 words of incomplete and barely coherent Hollow Knight thoughts because I needed to see them written out, so this is my attempt to curate what I wrote. Obviously these are my personal interpretations, so here’s my hot and (possibly) Problematic™️ takes about the Pale Beings. Heavy spoilers ahead (no shit).
Alright, main points summarized:
If we judge morality from a human perspective, the Pale King (PK) gets too much shit while the White Lady (WL) doesn't get enough
WL has no parenting genes because she's a plant. I'm not convinced she feels any attachment to her children other than "yeah I made that"
The simple fact that these characters are not humans, and understanding the nature of what they actually are, makes most arguments against their actions dependent on whether or not the vessels have emotions. In other words, they’re only bad because we as an audience ascribe human-like feelings to the vessels (which is a fascinating topic to dive into on its own, but that would constitute its own entire post, so for now I will just say that I think they can/do have feelings, at the very least to some extent. I think they probably start out more or less “empty” and can develop things from there through exposure and influence).
PK may have caused problems for everyone not by being a bad dad, but by not being bad enough
I just really really love how many ways there are to interpret things with the way the lore is presented. You can go with “PK’s a piece of shit, utter fucking horrible person, never actually cared about his favorite kid and saw them as an object, accidentally made them think he was their dad and gave them feelings, locked them away for eternity with no remorse, and when his kingdom started to fall apart instead of going down with the ship he noped off to the dream realm with his whole palace and hid behind personal guards and walls and walls of buzz saws like the cowardly little bitch he is.” You can beat his corpse off the throne and immediately sit your ass down instead to assert dominance.
And if you don’t dig for more, I feel like that’s where the story leads you. This is all well and good. It’s kinda what I was leaning toward initially, and it makes for some absolutely top-tier jokes and content which I have thoroughly enjoyed.
But this room. This room right here haunts me. It’s obviously a nursery, in the area just before you reach the throne room. (Also note that's a major key version of the shade music.) I think the wiki calls it the White Lady’s room. Which idk, it very well could be, but that feels off to me.
First, I don’t think she’d even fit in the room. And second and more significantly, she very much talks about the Vessels as objects and appears completely detached from the protagonist as she talks to them, even emotionally detached from the Pure Vessel themself, whom she presumably had a part in raising. I mean, her chill attitude toward it all is why I wasn’t 100% convinced I was reading it right (that she really was their mom) when I first spoke with her (that, and because a lot of this game’s dialogue I’ve had to read through more than once to fully comprehend, because the language is funny and my brain is dumb). Because surely if she was speaking to one of her few surviving children she’d have a different reaction, right? Is it a mental defense to distance herself so she doesn’t get attached? Or does she really feel nothing for them?
She mentions feeling “some affection” toward Hornet, which is interesting, as it suggests they actually interacted at some points, and also makes it more jarring that she never says anything similar about her own children. The Pure Vessel is a broken, “tarnished” object that needs to be replaced, and she has no issue with another one of her children replacing it. Compare this to how she speaks about the Pale King (“my beloved Wyrm”), who she does indeed seem to care about.
But really, the Vessels aren’t her “children”. They’re just her “spawn”, as she calls them. But perhaps it isn’t fair to consider that a fault on her part, because she’s a plant creature. And I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of any plants that exhibit parental care of any kind, unless you get extremely generous with how you define it. She likes making babies, not caring for them. And if you’re a species that makes thousands of babies, it makes sense not to be attached to them all, since statistically, most are gonna die before they get very far. And I can’t see PK convincing her to go through with the Vessel project if she was distraught by merely the thought of it (and she says “there is some shame I feel for my part in the deed”. Some? Some???). I guess what I’m getting at is that there’s no evidence she formed a bond with the Pure Vessel, and that there’s also no particular reason to assume she would have or should have.
The vessels clearly don’t require any parental care to survive, since the protagonist is still going, and by my interpretation the White Lady certainly wouldn’t give any to them, which is interesting, because the Pale King is the one people generally seem to throw the most shit at in regards to being a terrible parent. Which, sure, by human standards? Jesus Christ, the guy’s a trainwreck.
But when you consider the nursery, plus the idea that the White Lady talks about the Pure Vessel not as her child but as an object, which to me drives home her complete lack of maternal anything, the implications are just...
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PK had 10,000 kids, was only allowed to keep one, wasn't supposed to treat it like his child but clearly at the very least he wanted to, the kid got attached to him and he was still supposed to be distant so he wouldn't ruin the whole plan and make all that sacrifice for nothing. Puts him in a weird dilemma of having to intentionally be a bad dad to be a good ruler. Probably at some point there were doubts about whether the kid was actually "pure" or "hollow" but he saw no choice but to go along with it anyway, and then the time comes and they contain the Radiance and get sealed in a vault. It would already suck to put your (supposedly only remaining (legitimate)) kid in a box never to see them again, but to do so and then the infection starts up again, confirming the concerns that yes, it was “impure”, it did have feelings because it saw you as a parent, and there's absolutely nothing to be done about it now that they’re locked away by themself? Man, I'd crawl off and erase myself from the physical realm, burying all my shame and regret behind merciless platforming challenges only a very specific type of person would ever be able to access, and hide my deepest, most painful secrets in its darkest reaches before resigning myself to die there, too. He locked himself away knowing that everything he tried to do was ultimately useless, him caring may have been what caused the plan to fall apart, and in the end, he’s a failure as both a ruler and a father.
I can just picture PK trying to figure out a way to deal with the Radiance using Void and realizing that void can mold itself to whatever shell it’s put in. But the void creatures he’s made aren’t strong enough for that. It’s gotta have more physical integrity, be something with an actual body. But also, void kills living creatures from too much exposure, and whatever creature it is can’t have its own pre-existing thoughts or will, and he couldn’t just ask his own subjects to volunteer themselves for something that experimental, especially if they’re the ones he’s trying to protect. And just the potential horror of that gradual realization of what does start out with no thoughts or will and has a shell that can be hollowed out and inhabited by void and could be trained to be strong enough to contain the Radiance, something they can get as many as they need to get one that works. 
Imagine him having to pitch that to the tree wife. Like “Okay, hear me out, I don’t like this idea but I don’t know what else to do anymore. We’ve gotta put our unborn children in the Abyss to be consumed by the Void so they’ll hatch as empty Vessels and hopefully one of them will be strong enough to make it to the top, and we can use that one to stop the Radiance.” And she’s just like “Alright, then let’s get to it.”
FUCK, dude.
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utilitycaster · 5 years ago
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This is not an obscure or ridiculous question, but I do have a question I didn't know who to ask. I'm kinda new to playing DnD. What exactly is the difference between a paladin and a cleric, mainly in terms of the relationship to their god? The phb wasn't too helpful for me. I admit I chose cleric because they get more spells, but is that the only difference? One fights via magic the other mainly with weapons (but can enhance them with divine magic)? Thank you and have a great weekend!
Good question! I’m going to editorialize a little but the lore here will all be pretty standard; the editorializing is more about my personal thoughts on mechanics, rules as written, etc. Also this is going to be long but I’ve split it up so you can stop reading when you’re like “ok I get it shut up”
Relationship to a god
(note: in some interpretations, clerics can be devoted to a pantheon, and paladins can be devoted to more of a concept. I don’t super love the idea of a cleric to a pantheon, but I do think some interpretations of paladins devoted to a concept, particularly oath of the ancients, can work. That said I’m focusing on clerics or paladins of a specific deity).
Clerics: there’s some leeway but as a rule they are the chosen ones of a god. In general this is played as mutual; a god chooses one of their faithful and grants unto them magic powers.
Rules as written they need to be no more than one step away from their deity’s alignment; since alignment in my opinion works more as a general suggestion than a hard-and-fast rule you don’t need to be super strict but in terms of flavor you should focus on being at least kind of similar? Like, if you’re the cleric of a deity of chaos, you should probably be a little chaotic yourself; if you’re the cleric of a good deity you should not be evil.
A cleric can damage their relationship with their god, but there’s a bit more wiggle room than with paladins.
Paladins: paladins have been granted powers by a god, but specifically in their devotion to an oath to said deity (or concept). That oath is their defining feature, more so than the god.
In past versions, paladins were always lawful in their alignment. This has been relaxed in 5e, and I agree with that, but they should be absolutely adherent to their oath. They can be chaotic in every other way but they need to stand by this promise. If they break that oath, they lose their powers. That’s how paladins work. (obviously this shouldn’t be done lightly, but a serious misstep, like deliberately killing an innocent when you’re a good-aligned paladin, should be dealt with as as betrayal of your oath).
Mechanics (spells and stats)
Clerics: Mechanically they are full spellcasters, like bards, druids, wizards, and sorcerers (warlocks are their own thing).
Flavor-wise/also mechanically, they are wisdom-based prepared spellcasters [people here more for spicy takes than discussion of mechanics, please skip to the bottom]. What this means:
Wisdom: based on that stat and the skills based on them, clerics will be decent at reading people and situations, working with animals, they’ll be perceptive, and they’ll either be intuitively good at healing or have some training in it.
Prepared spellcasters: this means clerics can choose their spells every time they take a long rest. Clerics are the most powerful healers in the game, and have a lot of utility. They have, in my opinion, the most versatile spell list in the game (wizards have far more spells, but clerics can do a little of everything).
In battle: clerics can serve multiple purposes because of how versatile they are. Typically they do serve as the main healer, but they can also do a lot of damage, and they can also do a lot of support for their allies/grant disadvantages (either literal disadvantage, or other drawbacks) to their enemies. Clerics are also a decently hardy spellcaster; they can often wear medium or heavy armor, they can use shields, and they get a d8 for hit points.
Paladins: Mechanically they are hybrid battler/spellcasters and are usually grouped with the battlers. They have comparatively few spells, they don’t have cantrips (so when they’re out of spells, they’re out for the day), and they are more reliant on their prowess with weapons - especially melee (5 ft range) weapons.
Stats: they are charisma and strength based, as written. They can wear heavy armor and their powers come from strength of will. They are good at persuasion, intimidating people, lying, performing, and feats of strength.
Prepared spellcasters: They can also choose their spells each day; however, they have far fewer spell slots than clerics, they don’t have nearly as high spell slots (top out at level 5, instead of level 9) and they have a much more limited spell list. And as you said, a good deal of their spells are based on augmenting their weapon damage (smites). Paladins also have both healing spells and a feature called lay on hands, where they can grant some healing/restoration from a limited pool.
In battle: the classic paladin build, at least, has a high armor class (medium or heavy armor), fights primarily in melee, and are much hardier than a cleric - they are harder to hit, as a rule, and have more hit points (they get a d10). They’re also somewhat versatile, but more skewed towards doing damage, soaking up damage, and minor healing. As mentioned their spells that do damage are mostly spells that augment weapon damage (vs. clerics, where the spell does the damage on its own). They have a few support spells for their allies, but they’re much more limited than clerics and are expected to spend most of their time damaging rather than casting spells.
My thoughts on Clerics and Paladins/how they’re often played
Clerics: you can play around with the non-wisdom stat for clerics but by dint of that stat they’re often kind of the mom friend? They don’t need to be, but that’s often how they are - they’re often the group confidant, especially if they have at least decent charisma. I love me a gruff, low charisma-with-heart-of-gold cleric too, but even then they often end up being the comforting one in their own weird way.
Thanks to the high wisdom clerics are often hardest to charm or control, and in general make a good voice of reason - even chaotic and ridiculous ones.
Because of your giant flexible spell list you can play around a lot - you can focus on damage, on healing, on buffs/debuffs. If you want to be a good player, in my opinion, look at the rest of the party. If you’re the only healer you can take damage spells but be prepared to spend a lot of time healing. Don’t let your friends die because you wanted to look cool. Also, speaking as someone who actively likes to play healers and utility casters...if you’re not prepared to heal you shouldn’t play cleric (we joke about Merle from TAZ and Jester in Critical Role but both actually do a whole lot of healing).
Paladins: I actually really love the more old-school interpretation, not so much the lawful aspect (as mentioned, I care more about devotion to an oath than to an alignment) but the slightly more black and white morality aspect. Which is weird, because I love campaigns with a lot of moral grayness, but maybe that’s why - I like that there are characters who do say “well, no, there is in fact good and there is in fact evil.” They’re a little less understanding at times, but a lot more intense.
Paladins as a rule are played as having less chill than clerics, and being a lot more action-oriented. Clerics might sit around and ponder; paladins are about enacting their oath in the real world.
Editorializing and Spicy Takes
With a few exceptions (letting a warlock use intelligence as a main stat which WOTC has condoned, and letting a paladin be dex-based instead of strength-based if there’s a really good in-story reason) I strongly dislike the idea of taking an existing class and saying ‘actually the casting stat is whatever I want it to be’. The fundamental concept of a wizard, for example, is that they have gained their magic through study and investigation. Basing them on charisma is not how they work, throws off all the lore, seriously unbalances certain subclasses, and makes your backstory worse. You can make a charismatic wizard! You can even make a wizard who is more charismatic than they are intelligent, if you want! You can make a wizard with intimidation or charm or other charisma-based skills as a major part of their story and character, and Caleb Widogast is a fantastic example. But in my opinion, the mechanics aren’t just a way of arbitrating or adding rules - they are part of the game, of the lore and of the flavor, and the experience is much richer for respecting that.
Also intelligence is often the least interesting mental stat to dump and you can fight me on that in the Denny’s parking lot of your choosing.
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queerlymasculine · 4 years ago
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Thank you so much for the kind words. They made me cry a little lol. What you said about owning self care not just to yourself but to your owner really stuck with me because sometimes I only do things because of my imaginary owner. I mean, sometimes I tell myself I need to drink water or brush my teeth, I need to take care of myself because my cg isn't here yet to do it. And I tell myself they be so so proud of me of keeping myself well for them for so long.
So yeah, you have dni for ageplayer (I'm an agere, not an age player but I don't want to make you uncomfortable) so I just came here to thank you, won't bother you any longer.
Thanks again for the kind words and best of luck to you.
you're fine, friend - the dni is for NSFW age play (I don't know all the terms tbh, my ignorance is making me cringe rn) because that's like, what's up trauma for me. non sexual ageplay doesn't get my PTSD going, so you're totally fine 💝 you're free to follow - I should edit the pinned post to be more specific
what I meant by owing self care to myself and my owner was more along the lines of, I think it would be irresponsible of me to not know how to take care of myself. let me explain that because that feels like "just take care of yourself 4Head." but how you interpreted what I said also deserves to be addressed so I'll get to that too :) I have been on a streak of struggling to express ideas today lol
to me, self-awareness is a critical aspect of self-care and thus a critical component of responsible play. people talk about knowing your limits and communicating them to your partner. this is similar. it's an act of self care to set a boundary or to express a need. it's an act of self care to articulate what you need or want for aftercare. but you can't really do any of those things without knowing what you need and want and also what you don't want. being able to express these wants and needs and boundaries in a self-affirming way - stating "this is my need" vs "is it okay if I need this?" - and in a way that's constructive for your partner so they know how to meet that need -- I think this is necessary to play safely. obviously no one's perfect and we all can improve and learn, but it's important to have those skills for yourself. but to me, I think I owe it to my owner to be able to give hir the information ze needs to take care of me.
tumblr doms are trash. but human beings who want to dom in a compassionate, ethical, and responsible way understand that submission is not a joke. submitting to someone or choosing to accept their care is no small thing. it takes enormous trust. and a dominant who is worth even a second of your time understands that and takes it seriously. a good dominant (I know what you're looking for is a little different, but you know what I mean) wants to take care of the person who is in their care. it's important to be able to give them what they need to do in order to keep you safe and ideally make you feel happy and secure and to give you what you need and want. it helps keep you safe and it keeps them safe by giving them confidence that, even if something unexpected happens, they can keep you safe. and I'm not just talking about physical limits or physical needs, although those are important too. emotional limits are, in some ways, even more important.
but omg doing self care things for someone, either a specific person you know or someone more abstract, is sometimes the best workaround for things you don't want to do or don't feel super motivated to do.
based on personal experience, when you find a caregiver who's worth your time, they WILL be so proud of you and it WILL feel even better than you can imagine right now.
waiting until you meet someone who's worth you time, ESPECIALLY in a kink context, is the absolute best decision you can make, especially when what you're looking for has to do with very basic needs like feeling safe. it takes an unimaginable amount of trust to let down your guard enough to feel safe. I'm speaking from experience. it's a risk, and it's a side of you that not many people get to see or even know about. I don't know how to exactly phrase what a big deal it is to entrust yourself to someone else's care.
I've digressed harder than anyone else has ever digressed in their life. clearly my ADHD meds are out of my system lol. anyway. like I said, you are more than welcome to chill on my blog if you want, but no pressure either way, of course. and I'm always here to lend an ear or offer advice 💝 take care of yourself, friend!!
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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years ago
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i'm here for your Jare and Lana Thoughts
hmm i’m not good at like, coming up with concrete ideas/hcs, or at recalling anything, but yeah they should get to be friends
i mean we don’t know that alana has Any friends, and really even pre-act 2, evan is not an amazing friend to jared, and even if things were better re: that relationship, it’s not really ideal to for jared to have one single friend anyways.......and, again, evan’s not exactly the perfect friend and like, even though i think anyone taking any real note of the material realizes that jared and evan’s relationship being not very close or great at this juncture is a two-way street, it’s easily arguable that evan’s a worse friend to jared in canon than jared is to him. so like, if jared’s gonna have One Friend lol tbh it would be great if he and alana could become friends and like, have someone to hang out with and just have a chill time being Not Alone for once and not having to feel like they have to be maintaining this perfect performance at all times or be dropped
really like it’s a great concept to just imagine them getting to spend time together doing totally unremarkable average Hanging Out stuff.......do homework together sometimes instead of alone in their respective bedrooms, spend time together on the weekend and play video games / watch a movie, just do some chill shit that gives them the chance to have conversations and share interests and personal info and just like, get used to feeling more relaxed in this person’s presence and like this is a real friendship......maybe they spend time together in canon doing tcp stuff ever but we were never shown it, and that’s a bit of a transition from being mostly strangers (distant acquaintances) to being Sort Of friends / at least being more familiar with each other......and maybe they can become closer After the tcp heyday, like, presumably in the timeskip-and-beyond part of things.....like, yeah there's the issue of everything that happened re: tcp and how jared knows more about the inside story while maybe alana just suspects, and natch i don't think jared would be willing to share that Inside Story if only because we all know that he and evan are mutually protecting each other forever, but also i don't think that like, thoroughly discussing the tcp stuff is absolutely crucial to jared and alana getting to be friends. for one thing, they probably can't have gotten That close during tcp, since by act 2 jared is apparently not super involved, and for another thing i think by the finale times both alana and jared might Both just be wanting to pretty much like, move on from all the tcp stuff.
also like, really i don't remember if jared's Extracurriculars like model u.n. was from pre-bway content and/or if it was from "cherrypicking anything worthwhile from the novel" content lol, but also stuff like being a camp counselor can't be completely effortless, and as someone who isn't too close to his parents and for whomst, at least at one point, theoretically, his car insurance being paid was tied to him doing stuff his mom wants him to do e.g. Be Nice To Evan, i get the idea that maybe jared does some academic / extracurricular stuff at least partially with the motivation of staying in the good graces of his parents and other adults / being Approved of via those routes of like, performing well at various Set Tasks like "get good grades" "be in model u.n." "be nice to evan, theoretically, according to jared himself" and etc........anyways this is a really roundabout way to get to "alana might be engaged in like, structured / approved Tasks as a means to being supported, not in the exact same way as jared is but with enough of a parallel that he Understands it".....like, i think yeah we can deduce that alana is kind of Studious or at least cares about her academic performance, but people like, forget that she's Not just doing everything for her college applications, and that most of what the focus is on is alana doing Extracurricular stuff that's more involved with / focused on Local Community than just like, school......she's talking about what she did over the summer, which is sure inherently Not stuff for school, and tcp is only partly about the school, and isn't Academic.......alana probably sees Community Involvement as a means to support / connection / positive attention, which is a bit different from jared who like, yeah might be kinda on that wavelength in Disappear thru Ywbf, but also it might be mostly "oh i can be in this group with evan and alana"......jared mostly seems to regard Attention From Anyone Else as something potentially negative, even though of course he doesn't want to Not get any attention, so on the one hand he's trying to get ahead of that Potential Negative Attention by trying to establish his own Role as [i'm the jokes boy] and be able to Deflect attention away from himself, or at least from whatever aspects of himself he doesn't want to have anyone focus on / question, and he seems to have an even more Defensive approach re: adults (i.e. "literally nothing i tell my parents is true") and it's easy to imagine that he sees it as like, as long as he Does This Checklist of Tasks He's Supposed To Do, e.g. "get decent grades" / "do some extracurriculars (i'm just remembering model u.n. was from Prior Versions Of The Show b/c it was related to that perjury thing and being the ambassador of luxembourg)" / etc and Adults Will Leave Him Alone Entirely Maybe........alana of course doesn't really wanna be left alone, but also she's more focused on her Peers than adults as well, ppl mischaracterizing her as like, only caring about grades & Rules & generally being a killjoy.........but natch if she Is trying to get good grades and Is involving herself in a lot of projects academic or extracurricular or unaffiliated with school at all, and there's gonna be more Work involved in that, and probably hanging out with her will involve doing work Parallel to each other, or at least, alana doing work while you do whatever.......and i think jared would Get that and wouldn't be like, "why are you boring" lol......out here down to bond with evan over basically a writing project......having Computer Skills which he presumably honed / hones on his own time.........this is a mess but im basically getting to "jared wouldn't think alana is boring or anything and would understand pursuing Something through the routes of Projects and Commitments and Approved Activities" look i'm phrasing everything terribly but if i don't just get shit down i'll never answer this ask
meanwhile i think alana would think jared is funny, which is nice b/c despite jared trying to be Humorous evan doesn't act very interested or like he's like "jared you're hilarious and i love that about you" lmao like. obviously people interpret jared's Attitude as like omg so uncaring he has no feelings he also has no problems b/c he Takes Nothing Seriously (which obviously. Humor / demeanor doesn't necessarily reflect taking whatever "seriously" or not.) and maybe evan's misinterpreting it too, but even if he Knows better re: how jared really feels about things, he's not exactly trying to engage with him about it any other way, so.......anyways alana thought connor's terrible joke from probably a while back is funny so. she'd probably Genuinely be like "haha good one jared" and jared would get to be like :o :o :o whoa i made a joke and someone reacted......natch jared's also just trying to like, Provoke evan into paying attention to him sometimes with his Humour / being able to comment on Real Shit without giving away his Real Feelings but like, probably not the ideal form of communication, and jared's out here @ connor like "it was a joke" so he'd probably be fine if any other students like, reacted to his jokes as jokes.........and alana could. also she might Joke sometimes in return lol
there Is that bit of an issue where yeah alana having a tendency to just Take The Lead on things where jared has a tendency to just like, back off if he isn't expressly given space in the first place or if he's pushed back, and this isn't Ideal obviously but like, he and alana don't have to interact via Working On Projects Together alone, especially not tcp, and it'd be an inherently different dynamic if they were interacting solely due to being Friends / wanting to hang out for no especial reason vs interacting to work on something together........and i don't think alana would Want a friendship to be the same as "someone she works on a project with" like, as far as we know in canon, alana only has Acquaintances and jared ends up losing his one friend, so i think if alana and jared become closer later on / start this new Actual Friendship between themselves, alana wouldn't want it to feel the same as like, being involved in tcp together (and neither would jared), and i also don't think jared would necessarily want it to feel like his friendship with evan, which natch wasn't going great, particularly not in those final months l o l .......even though both of them being Friendless would probably make them somewhat eager to make One Friend, they both got burned by their attempts to Get Closer To People (or A Person in jared's case lol) ("everyone needed it for something" like okayyy if you say so, guess we Are just forgetting about alana and jared's existence), and they might not exactly be raring to go about [Obtaining Friendship] the same way again. and since they both had a pretty Transactional approach to getting positive attention (i.e. jared helping evan out and doing shit for him, alana doing the same and presumably doing the bulk of the tcp work when evan ingeniously held jared at arm's length instead of having him more involved but then kind of peaced out of the project himself) it'd probably be nice for alana to have someone who seems to like being around her without it being due to any of the work she does / has done, whereas jared probably doesn't wanna be The Guy Who Helps Out and is only talked to for that purpose..............and them both having a friend who they Didn't make / keep via their respective wtaw-type approaches to things is probably gonna be encouraging re: the fact that yknow, they don't have to put on that certain Performance of what they think people might want from them / people might find Acceptable from them........and of course if they spend more time together they'll get more used to the other / learn about them, and probably ~Learn About Themselves~ since they're finally getting to like, Not be putting on a performance for someone / feeling like they have to play some specific role to be liked or whatever
and like, alana isn't just all Boring and incapable of having fun or comprehending what that is........i like soph's hc that she loves karaoke, jared could tag along and be the audience lol and it's just like, hey we can just have fun together doing shit for fun and not like, feeling like you're having to prove your worth to the other person all the time, just having some confidence that the other person likes you for who you are and they can relax and actually enjoy it
naturally i like the idea that alana and jared become friends (or better friends) in college........the rest of senior year has to be Not A Great Time and just generally more fraught than usual for them, and they could stand to have the summer before college to kinda take a breath (but also maybe feel worried about college) but then yknow once college starts they're In college and it's different from hs (and better), and it being a Different environment with Different people and a Different structure can also help them just like, get more comfortable with themselves and maybe (hopefully) feel more capable of pursuing stuff they really wanna do and just overall be having a better time than, say, in senior year of high school.....would sure be convenient if they went to the same one of course. lol. hang out all the time on campus / between classes, go to Social Occasions together, be in the same dorm / just keep hanging out at each other's, etc
also just like, on its own, i always like the idea of jared also being able to Make Friends / have decent, positive, accepting Social Interactions via joining a club / being involved in some extracurricular type shit, where he Can be comfortable like "oh i'm here to Do Some Tasks so i get to be part of this group of people just by signing up, not by everyone else deciding they want me around" and then yknow, be spending time with this group of people that way, end up hanging out at various points kind of branching off of whatever Tasks are being done, and sort of gradually realize that people Don't Dislike him and can then catch on that maybe he has some potential friends here.........it's fun to think of him doing like, tech work for theatre, and also in the midst of all these theatre people he can like, fully realize Oh I'm Gay (and maybe get to fully process what went down there re: evan and his own Heartbreak there, like the fact that it Was heartbreak).......and to add the idea of Alana Being Friends with him during college, maybe a) she can hang out over in the theatre area sometimes while he's doing whatever and work on her own stuff but also get to interact with everyone else who might be around and b) if he gets any comp tickets she can get one and c) idk she can maybe also be Directly involved in helping out sometimes......
and also anyways getting all the way to This Point in the answer before mentioning that like, of course both jared and alana are gay and maybe haven't figured this out entirely by the events of Canon but sure could during college and could be each other's Supportive Friend, naturally if one of them figures it out first the other one is like wow great i'm such an Ally of that, boy it feels really great to Know i have a gay friend actually, b/c i'm Such An Ally......and then figuring it out for themself as well lmao like aha. hope they don't think i'm copying them lol...........also the one Jared And Alana "Dating" idea i permit is that maybe back in the day when neither of them were Aware of their own gayness they like, vibed with each other and were like "hmm is this Having A Crush?" and "dated" awkwardly for like a month or two or something (or less lol)......naturally they could've had this sort of experience with Anyone but like, the sort of underlying thing that the Affinity they mistook for "i wanna date this person" was them rly having the potential to be good friends and have a significant relationship that way. but then them having this real awkward "dating" experience probably would delay that for at least a little bit lmao like avoiding each other b/c even if it sure was just like, a not-that-dramatic mutual breakup, it's still uncomfortable and it's like "why didn't this work out at all"............but yeah the important part is they're gay and they're friends and if they are also good friends while they're figuring out the Being Gay stuff for themselves then that's just nice for them.....have this person be supportive and glad for you........
also and yknow there's the idea of "what if jared and evan start to make up in College Times and possibly kleinsen happens" and obviously being back in touch with evan would be both fraught for jared and alana even if they're in this place where it's easier to extend him some grace here, but they'd sure understand each other's misgivings and trepidation here even if they don't really lay out each and every Detail of like "yeah here's why and how i was hurt back in the day in tcp times".......and yknow, for jared it wouldn't have to be like "wow after i lost evan i've had No Friends and having him back in my life would mean i'm not completely alone anymore," which might help him take his time in contemplating / reflecting upon the situation lol. and who knows, alana might be down to accept an apology as well at least or something. but regardless of that concept Yeah jared and alana getting to be friends in college would be cool for both of them.
these are all broad sweeping concepts lmao instead of like any fun details or specific events / scenarios lol but yeah here are some Thoughts.......a real tl;dr is that it'd be nice if like, overall, both jared and alana felt like they had some more space in college to figure themselves out and feel less pressure to fit some precise role that will win them approval, and they find some Connection through each other and get to share that like, Figuring Themselves Out territory while being friends and getting some emotional support from each other, and they are gay
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