#(also if you really like feel free to message me and i’d be happy to share a full audio bootleg of the dc show if ur curious!)

[hereliesbeetlejuice]

ok ive seen this mentioned a few times before, but whats dc beetlejuice?

i can never find anything on it, is it like a demo or smth?

-🪲🕸️

hey there!! boy did you come to the right place!!

before beetlejuice came to broadway, its first public staging happened during its out of town tryouts in Washington DC back in 2018! that’s the first time i saw the show and it remains my FAVORITE version (SO much was changed in the transition between DC and Broadway) and since it’s so different, we tend to refer to the original version of the show as DC Beetlejuice!

i have some content on my blog under the tag “dc beetlejuice” if you care to peruse, and i am always soooo happy to yap about it if you have any questions!

[moonlightwritingf1]

Pillow Talk | LN4

★ summary ━━━━━━━ Lando and Y/N cuddle in bed after a long, tiring day.

★ pairing ━━━━━━━ Lando Norris x she!reader

★ word count ━━━━━━━ 2.8k

Based on this request.

It’s nearly midnight, and rain streaks down the floor-to-ceiling windows of Y/N’s bedroom, blurring the glittering skyline beyond. The soft patter of raindrops against the glass fills the silence between them, a rhythmic lullaby to the storm brewing outside. The air still carries the lingering warmth of their shared shower—steam still lingering in the air, the scent of her shampoo and his body wash mixing in a quiet intimacy.

Y/n lay curled up under a plush white duvet, her head nestled in the crook of Lando’s shoulder. He lay on his back, one arm wrapped around her while his free hand brushed gentle strokes along her arm. They had finished dinner at her favorite Thai restaurant earlier that night, laughing over shared dishes before heading back to her place to shower and wind down. Now, surrounded by the cozy comfort of her bed, time felt slower—each moment more precious.

It had been five months since they officially became a couple, though they had known each other for way longer. The initial weeks of their relationship had been a mixture of bashful smiles and playful teasing; Y/n constantly reminded herself that she had been wary of Lando, yet somehow, in those five short months, he had shown her just how tender and genuine he could be.

“Hey,” he whispered softly, dipping his head to catch her gaze. “You okay?”

“Mm-hmm,” she murmured, letting her cheek rest against his warm chest. “Just tired. Work was brutal today, and I’ve been running on caffeine fumes. Having you here…makes it better.”

Lando’s lips curved into a slow, affectionate grin. He pressed a light kiss to her forehead, inhaling the faint floral scent of her shampoo. “I’m happy to be here,” he murmured, his voice low. “You have no idea how much I look forward to these nights.”

She smiled against his skin. “I think I have an idea, considering the amount of texts you send me when I’m stuck in meetings,” she teased, recalling the playful onslaught of messages and voice notes he’d sent throughout her workday.

“You love it,” Lando teased right back, turning slightly so that he faced her more fully. His hand continued to run gentle circles on her shoulder. “Besides, I can’t help it when I miss you. Monaco’s nice, but I’d pick London and you any day.”

She smiled at his words, cheeks warming at the sincerity she heard in his voice. There was a contented silence for a while as she listened to his heartbeat. 

“You’ve gotten comfortable in my space,” Y/n noted, half-closing her eyes. “Remember how you practically sprinted in here the first time, looking around like you were on a secret mission?”

Lando chuckled, recalling the memory. He had been so eager to see where she spent her days, to be a part of her world beyond the dinners and the group hangouts. “What can I say? I like to know every inch of your life.” He squeezed her gently, the tone in his voice growing softer. “I’m just glad you finally let me in.”

Her hand drifted up to trace the outline of his jaw. Though they teased each other, there was an undercurrent of emotion swirling between them—something tender and powerful that she found simultaneously comforting and electrifying. “I’m glad I did, too,” she admitted. “You’ve been…worth it.”

His eyes sparked with warmth. He tilted his head and gently brushed his nose against hers. It was a fleeting, almost childlike gesture, but it sent a surprising jolt of warmth through her. She could feel the beginning strains of tension—the lovely kind that made her want to pull him closer.

“How’re you feeling now?” he asked, letting his fingers dip to her waist. A playful glint appeared in his eyes as he noticed the way her breath caught.

“Tired,” she repeated, then paused. “But also…really happy.”

He smirked. “So, if you had to choose one…which is it right now? Sleepy or happy? Or maybe something else?” The slight growl in his voice suggested the possibility of “something else.”

She bit her lip, trying to keep from letting out a giggle. “Stop that,” she murmured, a small laugh escaping anyway.

“Stop what?” he asked, tilting his head in feigned innocence. His hand skimmed her waist again in a playful manner, and she felt her heart flutter.

“You’re being a tease,” she said, half laughing and half scolding, but her tone was gentle—she was far from annoyed. It was a familiar dance, one that she’d grown more comfortable with over the months.

“Me?” Lando said in mock offense. “Never.”

She rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t hide her grin. She allowed herself to scoot closer, pressing into his warmth as the rain continued its steady patter on the glass.

“You smell really nice,” he commented in a low voice, taking a moment to nuzzle into her hair. “That shampoo—it’s jasmine, right?”

“Jasmine and a bit of vanilla,” she confirmed, letting her eyes flutter shut for just a moment.

Lando’s free hand found hers, their fingers interlacing beneath the duvet. “You want me to put a movie on?” he asked. “We can do that, or we can just…talk.”

She lifted her head slightly, resting her chin on his chest as she peered up at him. “I wouldn’t mind just talking.”

He smiled. “Tell me about your day. The real version, not the polite one.”

She exhaled, letting out a small laugh. “It was…stressful. The project my team is working on is behind schedule, and my boss wasn’t exactly thrilled. We had to do a lot of damage control. On top of that, I had to skip lunch to attend a meeting that should have been an email.”

“Sounds rough,” he sympathized. His thumb drew soothing patterns across her knuckles. “Did you eat enough for dinner at least?”

She nodded. “I did, thank you for making sure I got extra spring rolls,” she teased.

Lando grinned. “I’ll always make sure you eat plenty of spring rolls. I care about you,” he said, only half-joking. “I want to take care of you, you know.”

She felt her heart flutter at his earnestness. Looking up, she saw the gentle concern etched onto his face, and warmth spread through her chest. “You already do,” she whispered, moving her hand to gently cup his cheek. She felt the light stubble there, and a tingle raced through her. “More than anyone ever has.”

His expression softened, and he dipped his head to press his lips against hers in a tender kiss. It wasn’t rushed or insistent; it was warm and certain. She let herself melt into it for a moment, forgetting the world outside her door.

When they parted, Lando brushed a lock of hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. “So, tomorrow,” he began, shifting under the covers so he could face her more easily, “we can stay in and order breakfast, or we can go out for a walk by the river. It’s supposed to be nicer in the morning, I think. The forecast said the rain should stop overnight.”

Her eyes flickered to the window where the raindrops continued. “A walk might be nice. But I’ll warn you, I’m probably sleeping in.”

“Good,” he answered quickly. “You need the rest.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And you’ll be wide awake, what, making me coffee?”

His grin deepened. “Actually, I might just stay in bed and watch you sleep for a bit. But, sure, I can make coffee too. I’m multi-talented, you know—F1 driver, coffee expert, professional girlfriend-spoiler.”

She giggled softly, lightly swatting his shoulder. “Don’t be creepy,” she teased, though the image of him being there, simply adoring her when she woke, sent a wave of comfort and contentment through her. “But okay, deal. You can watch me sleep, then we’ll have coffee. Then maybe we walk along the river.”

“Sounds perfect.” He placed a soft kiss on her temple. “Anything else you want? Whatever you want to do, I’m all yours tomorrow.”

She studied his face for a moment, taking in his bright eyes that always seemed to hold an easy smile. Five months ago, she never would have pictured being this cozy with him—this intimately connected. Now, she couldn’t imagine not having him around.

“Right now,” she said, her voice quiet, “I just want you to hold me.”

Lando’s gaze flicked down to her lips, then back up to her eyes, and he nodded. “Come here.” He guided her head back down to his shoulder, wrapping his arms around her so she was secure against him. They sank deeper into the pillows, the duvet a soft cloud around their bodies.

For a while, they simply breathed together. The occasional gust of wind rattled against the window, but it only made the room feel more intimate. He nuzzled his nose into her hair, inhaling the jasmine-vanilla scent once more. She could feel his heart beating against her cheek, strong and steady.

Eventually, she spoke again, her voice muffled by his shirt. “I’m so relaxed, I might fall asleep on you.”

“Then I’ll be the most comfortable pillow you’ve ever had,” he teased, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Mmm,” she mumbled, contentment evident in her tone. She ran her fingertips lightly over his chest, feeling the fabric of his t-shirt move under her hand. “I like how you feel. You’re so warm.”

“Is that so?” he teased in a husky whisper, his hand drifting to the curve of her waist. There was a gentle pressure that sent a shiver through her, a teasing reminder of how good it felt whenever he touched her. The sexual tension that always lingered between them rose to the surface, making her breath hitch.

She caught his gaze, and for a moment, words seemed unnecessary. A current of unspoken desire passed between them. He leaned down and kissed her slowly, more deeply this time, but still with that careful tenderness that made her stomach flutter.

Her lips parted, savoring the warmth and reassurance he poured into that moment. Then he pulled back, ever-so-slightly. “Don’t want to tire you out even more,” he teased, breathless.

She let out a soft laugh, her cheeks warming. “We have all night,” she reminded him softly, and there was a gentle challenge in her eyes—a playfulness that mirrored his own.

“So we do,” he agreed, pulling her impossibly closer. He brushed his lips against her neck, leaving a trail of light kisses before letting his forehead rest against her shoulder. “No rush for anything, right?”

“Right,” she whispered, a smile tugging at her lips. “We have all the time in the world.”

Another quiet lull settled over them, comfortable and intimate. She splayed a hand across his chest, feeling his heartbeat, and closed her eyes.

“Thank you,” she murmured after a while, her voice soft with sincerity.

“For what?”

“For making me feel safe,” she said, looking up at him. “You know I don’t always let people in easily. But you—” She paused, a slight smile lighting her face. “You never gave up on me. Even when I was making it complicated, you were there. You’re always here.”

“Of course,” he said, tightening his hold around her. “I’m not going anywhere.”

She leaned in and pressed her lips to his collarbone in a feather-light kiss. “I don’t want you to.”

He let out a happy sigh, brushing his lips across her forehead once more. “Good,” he murmured, “because I’m exactly where I want to be.”

They continued to hold each other, exchanging soft kisses and whispers in the dim light. The rest of the world seemed far away—a distant hum outside her skyscraper apartment. Beneath the covers, they shared slow caresses and hushed laughs, the gentle friction of their bodies creating a warmth more comforting than any blanket could provide.

“You’re mine,” he murmured, his voice low and rough, as though the words had been pulled from somewhere deep inside him. His lips found her forehead, pressing a kiss that lingered, and the sensation sent a wave of warmth cascading through her body. She tilted her face upward, meeting his gaze, and the intensity in his eyes made her breath catch. His thumb brushed her cheek, tracing the curve of her jaw before his lips captured hers in a kiss that was slow and reverent, as if he were memorizing the feel of her with every touch.

Her fingers tangled in the fabric of his shirt, holding him close as she kissed him back, savoring the way his lips moved against hers—soft, yet insistent. There was a sweetness to it, a simplicity that made her heart ache in the best way. When he pulled back slightly, his breath warm against her skin, she could feel the curve of his smile against her lips.

“What is it?” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

His eyes searched hers, the corners crinkling with affection. “You,” he said simply, as though the word itself held the weight of everything he couldn’t quite articulate. “You feel like home.”

Her chest tightened, and she buried her face in the crook of his neck, inhaling the familiar scent of him—clean, with a faint trace of his cologne, mixed with the warmth of his skin. His arms tightened around her, pulling her even closer, and she felt utterly safe, utterly cherished. There was no room for doubt or insecurity in his embrace; here, in his arms, she was everything she’d always wanted to be—loved, valued, seen.

He kissed her again, this time on the temple, his lips lingering as if he were savoring the moment. His hand slid down her arm, fingers interlocking with hers, their palms pressed together. The intimacy of it—barely a movement, yet so deliberate—sent a shiver through her. She squeezed his hand, and he chuckled softly.

“What?” she asked, smiling against his chest.

“You’re so soft,” he said, his voice warm. “Every time I touch you, I can’t believe how lucky I am.”

Her cheeks flushed, the praise warming her from the inside out. She tilted her head to look at him, her gaze tracing the curve of his jaw, the faint stubble that shadowed his skin. He looked at her as though she were the only thing that mattered, his eyes soft with adoration.

“You make me feel...” she started, then hesitated, searching for the right words. “Like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.”

His smile deepened, and he pressed his forehead to hers, his breath mingling with hers in the space between them. “You are,” he said simply. “Right here, with me—you’re exactly where you belong.”

She closed her eyes, savoring the words, the way they wrapped around her like a soft blanket. His lips brushed hers again, this time with a subtle urgency, as if he couldn’t quite get enough of her. She kissed him back, her hands sliding up to tangle in his hair, her body arching slightly toward his. Every touch, every breath, every heartbeat felt magnified, as though they were connected on a level that went beyond the physical.

When they finally pulled apart, both of them slightly breathless, she rested her head back on his chest, her fingers splayed across his heart. His hand continued to stroke her arm, his touch light and soothing. The room was quiet except for the sound of their breathing, steady and synchronized.

She felt it then—a sense of peace so profound it almost brought tears to her eyes. In his arms, she wasn’t just Y/N, the girl who worked long hours. She was his. And that was enough—more than enough. She closed her eyes, letting the warmth of his embrace and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat lull her into a state of perfect content.

“I love you,” he whispered, the words soft but certain, breaking the silence.

Her eyes fluttered open, and she looked up at him, her heart swelling in her chest. “I love you, too,” she said, her voice steady, each word filled with the depth of her emotion.

He kissed her once more, a slow, lingering kiss that spoke of promises and forever. And as they lay there together, wrapped in each other’s warmth, the rest of the world faded away, leaving only this—only them. And it was perfect.

Eventually, as the rain started to taper off and the rhythmic pattern grew faint, Y/n felt her eyelids grow heavy. Her long day was catching up to her, but she felt content in a way she rarely experienced.

Noticing her struggle to stay awake, Lando gently shifted to guide her head back down to his chest. “Sleep,” he whispered, pressing his lips to her temple. “I’ll be here.”

She managed a small nod, allowing the steady thrum of his heartbeat to lull her into drowsiness. “Stay,” she repeated, her voice barely above a whisper, but he caught it.

He smiled in the darkness. “Always,” he whispered back, stroking her hair until she drifted off.

[dreamykira]

One Way or Another Pt. 2I IN-HO x reader

˗ˏˋSUMMARY ´ˎ˗

╰┈➤When the rebellion fails, you’re captured and taken to a secluded room, only to come face-to-face with the last person you ever expected— Young-il, the man you once trusted, now wearing the mask of the enemy. As the truth unravels, so do your emotions. Anger, betrayal, and something far more painful linger between you as he insists he did it all to protect you. But can you really believe him when blood stains his hands? When the man you knew as Young-il was never real to begin with?

˗ˏˋWARNINGS ´ˎ˗

╰┈➤ Betrayal, reader is tied up, mentions of killing. English is not my first language☺️ If I missed any, then please let me know!

˗ˏˋAUTHOR'S NOTE ´ˎ˗

╰┈➤ im back🤩 i had a rough day at school today so if this is not good then im sorry. ALSOOOOO i opened my inbox so feel free to send me messages. i'll answer all of them!!! also you can send me ideas of what you think should be in the next part!!!

word count: 1679

The fight was over. The rebellion had failed.

The echoes of gunfire had long faded, replaced by the low hum of the facility’s power systems and the steady footsteps of guards patrolling the corridors. The scent of blood still clung to the air—metallic, nauseating—but the bodies were gone. Order had been restored.

And you…

You sat in a dimly lit room, wrists bound behind your back, the cold metal chair biting into your skin. Your breathing was uneven, each inhale sharp, each exhale unsteady. The walls were bare, sterile, giving you nothing to focus on except the weight of your own thoughts.

Then, the door opened.

A tall figure stepped inside, draped in black from head to toe. The cold glow from the hallway cast his form into stark relief, but it was the mask that sent a shudder through you—sharp, expressionless, empty. 

Your breath hitched, your body recoiling before you could stop yourself. A strangled sob tore from your throat as the weight of everything crashed down on you. You flinched violently, your vision blurring with tears.

“No—” The word barely left your lips before he moved.

“Calm down.” His voice was low, firm. Familiar.

Your trembling stilled, confusion warring with fear. The man lifted his hands, fingers curling under the edges of the mask. A quiet exhale left him before he pulled it off.

Dark eyes met yours.

Your stomach twisted.

Young-il—no. Not Young-il. You were sure that it was a fake name he had come up with on the spot.

He crouched in front of you, lowering himself to your level, watching you carefully. “It’s just me,” he said, voice low. “You don’t need to be afraid.”

But you were.

You were terrified.

Your lips trembled as you shook your head. “No,” you whispered, the word barely leaving your throat. “No, no, no—”

He reached out, his hand ghosting toward your knee. You jerked back instinctively, your bound wrists straining against the chair. He stilled, his fingers hovering inches away before he slowly withdrew.

Something flashed in his expression—something that almost looked like pain. But you didn’t trust your own eyes anymore.

“You’re shaking,” he murmured.

You glared at him, tears burning in your eyes. “What did you expect?” you choked out. “That I’d be happy to see you?”

A muscle in his jaw tightened. “I expected you to understand.”

You laughed—a broken, bitter sound. “Understand?” The word was venom on your tongue. “You betrayed us.”

His gaze didn’t waver. “I saved you. I promised I’d come back, and I’m a man of my words.”

You jerked against your restraints. “A man of your words?” Your voice shook, not with fear, but with anger. “You betrayed us! You killed them.” 

He tilted his head, as if weighing your words. “No,” he said after a pause. “I did what I had to. They were going to die either way.”

A sharp pain shot through your chest, raw and unbearable. “You don’t get to decide that.”

His eyes darkened, but his voice remained steady. “Yes, I do.”

Your breathing turned shallow. “So, what, you played along? Pretended to fight with us while you were really on the other side this whole time?”

“That’s not important right now,” he murmured under his breath, “I’ll explain everything once you’ve calmed down.”

A cold shiver ran down your spine. The detachment in his voice—like the lives lost meant nothing—made your stomach twist.

“What matters right now is that you don’t have to play this game anymore,” he continued. “You’re free from it.”

“Free?” you repeated bitterly. “I’m tied to a chair.”

“That’s temporary.” He leaned in, his voice softening. “I had to make sure you wouldn’t do anything reckless.”

Your glare didn’t waver. “Reckless?” you spat. “You mean fighting for my life? For theirs?”

A flicker of something crossed his face—guilt, regret, something almost human. But it was gone just as fast, replaced by that unreadable calm.

“I mean running straight to your death,” he corrected.

Your chest tightened. “At least that would have been my choice.”

He sighed, running a hand through his dark hair. “You still don’t understand.”

You swallowed hard, forcing back another wave of tears. “Then make me understand.”

His eyes softened—just slightly. “You were never supposed to make it this far,” he admitted. “Even if the rebellion had been successful, the remaining guards wouldn’t have let you walk away. They would have killed you.”

Your head shook automatically. “That’s not true.”

“It is.” His voice was quiet but firm, and the certainty in it made your skin crawl. “I’ve seen it happen before.”

Your throat tightened. “Seen what?”

“The way rebellious players are dealt with.” There was no hesitation in his words. “At the end of the day, the guards follow my orders.”

A cold feeling settled in your stomach. 

“So you knew,” you whispered. “From the very beginning you knew that the plan was pointless. We would’ve died either way.”

He held your gaze, expression unreadable.

And then, after a long pause, he gave you the smallest nod.

You felt like crying. The burning sensation behind your eyes was painful, and you were ready to let the tears fall. 

But before you could break down completely, you had to ask him something.

Your breath came in sharp, shallow gasps. “Was any of it real? Was Young-il real?”

His jaw clenched and then, it softened into something you only got to see when the two of you were away from prying eyes. “You were real.”

You let out a broken laugh. “That’s not an answer.”

He exhaled, slow and controlled. “I didn’t lie about how I felt.”

Your pulse stuttered. “And how do you feel?”

He stared at you, long and hard, as if debating whether to say it. Then, quietly, he confessed, “I couldn’t let you die.”

Your chest ached. You wanted to believe him.

But how could you?

“You let everyone else die.”

His expression didn’t change, but something in his eyes dimmed. “I had to.”

You shook your head, your voice raw. “No, you chose to.”

A heavy silence settled between you.

Then, he reached forward again, slower this time, giving you a chance to pull away. You didn’t. His fingers grazed your cheek, wiping away a stray tear.

“I never wanted you to be afraid of me,” he murmured.

Your throat tightened. “Then why did you become someone I had to fear?”

His hand stilled, his expression unreadable. “Because I had no other choice.”

Another wave of silence settled between you two. 

His fingers lingered against your skin for a moment longer before he pulled away, exhaling through his nose. Then, after a pause, he spoke.

"I'm going to untie you," he said, his voice measured. "But only if you promise not to do anything reckless."

A bitter scoff left your lips. "Oh, sure. I’ll be on my best behavior." You batted your lashes mockingly. "Wouldn’t want to upset the great Front Man, would I?"

He shot you a look, unimpressed but not entirely surprised. "I mean it."

You held his gaze, your wrists still aching from the restraints, but you weren’t about to make this easy for him. “Fine,” you muttered. “I promise.”

For a second, he hesitated, searching your face for any sign of deception. Whatever he found there must have satisfied him, because without another word, he reached behind you. The sharp pressure around your wrists loosened, and after a few moments, the restraints fell away.

As you rubbed at your sore wrists, trying to soothe the aching skin, In-ho’s gaze flickered downward. His expression darkened for a moment before he reached out, taking your wrist gently into his hands. You tensed at the contact, but he didn’t tighten his grip—he just held you there, his thumb brushing over the raw skin in a slow, almost absentminded motion.

“They tied it too tight,” he muttered, more to himself than to you. Then, his voice dropped lower, edged with irritation. “I told them to be gentle with you.”

You blinked, caught off guard by his sudden shift in tone.

He exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “Fucking dickheads never listen.”

A breathy, disbelieving laugh escaped you before you could stop it. “Did you just—”

His fingers traced over the marks again, and then, much softer this time, he murmured, “I’m sorry.”

For the ropes. For betraying your team. For everything.

He didn’t say it outright, but you felt the weight of it anyway.

Before you could say anything, before you could even decide what to do with your newfound mobility, In-ho did something that caught you completely off guard.

He pulled you into his arms.

You stiffened, your mind screaming at you to shove him away, to resist, but your body betrayed you. The warmth of his embrace was jarring, familiar and foreign all at once. His hand came up to the back of your head, fingers threading through your hair, holding you close.

"You don’t have to be afraid anymore," he murmured against your temple.

Your throat tightened. “You keep saying that,” you whispered, “but I don’t think you understand what you’ve done to me.”

His grip on you didn’t falter, and he didn’t say anything for a while. Instead, he let the silence stretch, his breath slow and steady against your skin.

After what felt like an eternity, you spoke again, your voice barely above a whisper. “Young-il… was that ever your real name?”

He stilled.

You pulled back just enough to look at him, your eyes searching his face. He hesitated, the carefully constructed mask he wore slipping, just for a moment. Then, finally, he answered.

"In-ho."

The name settled between you like a weight, heavier than you expected.

You swallowed hard, staring at the man you thought you knew—at the man who had lied, betrayed, and yet somehow still looked at you like you were the only real thing left in his world.

"In-ho," you repeated, testing the name on your tongue.

And for the first time since he walked into the room, he looked almost vulnerable.

tag list: @androgynous-lady @avsarchivez

[roc-haze]

Best Part | Will Lenney

In which Will and Y/N are friends, but should be more.

Part two

——

New messages on WhatsApp

Ugly Stepsisters

George: @Y/N I’d finish up early if I were you… Will’s shouting the next round

Y/N: Aren’t you guys filming? He’s probably getting his shout in while it’s tax deductible 🤭

Becky: The cameras have been off for a while. He must be feeling charitable

George: Funny that. He was about to throw a tantrum before I told him wifey was tagging along 🧐

Becky: I thought wifey was working late tonight

George: Yeah she can’t say no to a free drink though

Y/N: Tell Will to get my pint ready. ETA 10 mins 🫡

There were perks to having a full time job. Financial stability, career development, a valid reason to say no to going on your mate’s podcasts. However, there were also disadvantages - one being having to sit in an office all day while said mates drink their way through London.

Y/N had been working with a corporate insurance company for a few years now, having moved to London for a secondment that developed into a full time role. She had been introduced to the wider UK YouTuber group through George, who was a prospective client when The Useless Hotline began to take on employees. They had clicked instantly, and she had found herself spending most of her free time with Clarkey and Becky. While the two friends brought a sense of adventure and excitement to her life, Y/N was a breath of fresh air - a reminder that there’s more to life than an upload schedule.

“Y/N!” Arthur Hill had spotted her as soon as she walked through the door, pulling her into a tight embrace. “I’m so happy you’re here, Will thought you may’ve been working late”.

“I was planning on it, but I heard Will was shouting. I had to see it for myself.” She grinned as Arthur laughed, directing her to the table occupied by the group.

Y/N was met with a loud cheer, each of her friends taking turns to greet her.

“I was starting to think you’d never return from war,” Becky wrapped her arms around her friend. “I’ve been waiting for you to help me drink these fellas under the table.”

The two girls shared a giggle before being enveloped in a hug by their tall, brunette male counterpart.

“This is my second favourite kind of threesome” George sighed.

“I’m assuming the first involves Chris and Hill.” Y/N laughed lightheartedly.

“You know me so well.” George had grinned in response.

Y/N could feel a pair of eyes on her, cheeks heating up as she looked up to see Will making strides across the pub, glass of red in hand.

“We better let mummy go now Becky, can’t have daddy getting jealous.” George smirked at Y/N, both himself and Becky stifling a laugh as Y/N jabbed him in the side.

Her two friends disappeared behind her as Will approached, knowing looks on their faces.

“Hi gorgeous,” Will wrapped his free arm around her, placing a kiss on her cheek. “I know we typically do pints but they finally restocked your favourite red.”

Y/N resisted the urge to coo at the grown man in front of her.

“Come tell me about your day.” He grabbed her hand, leading her through the crowd of friends.

Y/N had spent plenty of time with the extended group - even once had a bit of a secret summer romance with Lux.

They were sat in the car in his driveway when he had ended things.

“I think Will knows we’re seeing each other, Y/N. I can’t bear to see that look on his face anymore.”

“What look?” she had asked.

“The you’re-my-mate-and-dating-the-woman-I-like look.” Cal had sighed, the frustration spreading over his face.

“I don’t care what anyone thinks, Cal. Pretty sure he’s dating people too.”

“If you really didn’t care, our friends would know we’re dating,” he said, head resting against the window. “I would love for this to work out, but I just don’t see it happening.”

Cal had conceded, no longer wanting to fight for her attention. There was just something about Will.

Unlike George and Becky, it had taken some time for his friendship with Y/N to blossom. It had taken many Thursday trivia nights at their local, but they eventually became inseparable. The two had slowly pulled away from big nights out, preferring to spend their Saturday evenings watching films and playing board games. Having escaped a hangover, they would often stretch their hangouts into Sunday morning for a quiet coffee run and visit to the local market. But lately, tension had begun to build - and it seemed like everyone had noticed. Except for Y/N.

Though she would never really admit it, Y/N had felt the shift in their dynamic. She was hyper aware of the way Will kept his hand on her back as they walked through the crowded markets. She would try desperately to suppress the dull ache in her chest when he would suggest heading home after a film night. It’s too late to drive home, Will. She’d be scarily still when he’d sleepily throw his arm across her torso, terrified to wake him as he lie next to her. Okay Y/N, I’ll stay.

Will had noticed the tension. He was just waiting around for Y/N to catch up. She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. She stopped women on the street to compliment a smile, a hairdo, or the coat they were wearing. On the occasions she hung out with his production team, she had made a point to take an interest in their life outside of work. She would text Mikey various tiktoks, look through Ieuan’s film and help him choose the right stills. She was the missing piece of the puzzle… yet had no clue.

Y/N slid into the booth next to Will, the other half occupied by Chip and Sabina.

“I’ve been hanging out for a wine night,” Sabina reached across the table, gently squeezing her friend’s hand. “We’ve got so much shit to talk. I’ve been keeping notes for you.”

“Sab, give me a time and I’m there!” Y/N had opened her calendar, rattling off free days to the brunette across the table. Before long, the couple were off to the bar, leaving Y/N and Will sitting by themselves.

They settled into routine. She shared her day - her boss had copied her in on a million different emails, she spent the whole day in meetings and plastering on a smile - while Will listened attentively. That sounds shite. You should eat, you’ll feel better.

“I think my social battery is starting to go.” The thought of staying out late made her grimace.

“Let’s go home. Get a shitty takeaway and watch an even shittier film.” Will was stood, extending his hand for her to grab. They walk through the pub, embracing their friends goodbye and promising a late night over the weekend.

“She’s just tired, mate. Thought it’s time to head home.” Will stood talking to George, sympathetic smile spread across his features.

“And she needs you to tuck her in? Good friend you are, Lenney.” George smirked, watching a red flush make its way up to Will’s ears.

———

15 minutes later, they were stood outside her apartment fumbling with the keys.

She had entrusted Will to organise dinner, throwing herself onto the couch with no plans to leave it anytime soon. Will sat on her right, allowing her to rest her head against his shoulder.

“You know Y/N, this is my favourite part of these group events.” He looked down at her, tucking a stray stand of hair behind her ear.

She met his gaze. “I love catching up with everyone, but I feel like I wait around the whole day to come home to you.”

“You make it sound romantic.” She laughed, but with no real humour behind it. Just trying to cut the growing tension in the room.

“It could be. If you want that.” Will’s eyes searched her face for any sort of requited feeling.

She swallowed hard, adjusting her position on the couch to face him.

Her phone fell into Will’s lap as she gently brushed her hand over the top of his. “I do. Want that, I mean.”

Will moved to intertwine their hands, a loud chime coming from Y/N’s phone. He looked down, seeing a familiar name adorn the screen.

Cal: Can we talk? I miss you.

—-

A/N: Thanks for reading guys!

You can find the series masterlist using the above link 🥰

[ginnyruin]

Altered State by ginnyruin announcement:

TL;DR: I’m rewriting my fic and will be posting two chapters a week until we reach the new update, Chapter 55. I’m excited to share the changes, including new characterizations and scenes, and new artwork by Nurchie.

long message:

Hi everyone,

I’ve been working on a rewrite on and off since I took a break last year. There were times when I wasn’t sure I’d continue — burnout can be tough— but revisiting the old chapters slowly drew me back in. What started as fixing a few things I wasn’t happy with eventually turned into a full rewrite. 

I initially intended to release Chapter 55 without sharing the rewrite first, especially since I know some readers have been waiting for a continuation of the story. I really didn’t want to disappoint. However, I realized that wouldn’t do the story justice.

I thought it might be best to release two chapters a week until we reach the new content with Chapter 55.

Subscribers on Ao3 won’t be getting any emails about these updates.

Just one email when the fic is first taken out of the collection because Ao3 does that automatically, and another when Chapter 55 goes live. I’ll be updating the date of the fic whenever a new chapter of the rewrite is posted, so it may appear in the tags for anyone who’s looking for it.

I might post update news here... but I really don't want to annoy people.

I won’t be deleting the original chapter webpages (since I deeply treasure your comments), but for now, they’ll serve as temporary pages even if it's empty. I know the word count and chapter count might look odd, but I hope you all understand.

I’ve deleted and rewritten entire chapters, reworked characterizations (Abraxas Malfoy for one, is so much more the original Death Eater you expect him to be). The atmosphere has become a little darker, everyone is slightly more miserable, but there will be some more humor too. While the essence of the story and most of the narrative progression remains the same, it feels like a deeper, more complete version now.

I’m also incredibly excited to share that Nurchie has repainted some of the older artwork, adding new details that reflect how her art and the story have evolved together. She’s also painted some jaw-droppingly gorgeous, brand-new pieces for the rewrite scenes, which I can’t wait for you to see. I’ve been eagerly following her progress with each new piece, and her work never fails to inspire me. She’s also my beta reader and has been such a huge source of encouragement and joy, and I couldn’t be more grateful.

Nurchie and I are both doing this purely for the joy of it in our free time. It’s a passion project for us, and we’re genuinely excited to share it with you. We’re not active on social media and aren’t making any money from this. It’s just something we love to create. 

Thanks so much for your ongoing support—whether you choose to revisit the rewrite or wait until it’s all finished, or not read the rewrite at all, I truly appreciate every bit of engagement. Your comments and thoughts here and on Ao3 have motivated me more than you know, and I’m excited to share this updated version with you.

[traumasurvivors]

I know that the holiday season can be really depressing and lonely.

I have some extra stamps from when I used to sell my postcards and would love to send Christmas cards to people that could use them 🩷. There are a couple international stamps, some USD ones and some CAD ones!

If you don’t celebrate Christmas but another holiday, I’m happy to write something different in them but the cards I already own have Christmas decorations on them fyi. One of them does say “happy holidays” instead but it has a puppy with a Santa hat on it. (Please let me know if Christmas is okay though because I found some cute Christmas stickers when I was going through my Christmas stuff.)

Obviously I’d need an address which might be uncomfortable so please only request one if you’re comfortable with me sending you a physical card in the mail. I also don’t expect you to send any cards back! I’m including my return address so I can get them returned if the address is wrong and they bounce back.

You can message me @aprilthebiqueen if you’d like one! You don’t have to, but if you’d like a more personalized message inside, feel free to share a little with me about you.

Our postal service is currently on strike but I’ll start sending them as soon as I can.

[eliotbaum]

This is gonna be a weird message and I hope it doesn't put you on the spot (you don't have to answer it at all)! You probably don't remember this (especially since im on anon) but years ago you commissioned me (a small, unknown artist) to draw your characters from Heart of Gold and it made me incredibly happy. But to this day I feel bad thinking back to what I delivered. I gave it my all but it just wasn't a good commission and I just wanted to get it off my chest that I'm really sorry about it! You were one of my fav artists even back then and I still wish I had had the skill to do your work justice. (You were nothing but nice about it though and this really isn't meant as a guilt trip! It's just been on my mind for so long 😅)

Oh!! I have never received a commission I wasn’t over the moon with so I couldn’t recollect which comm you’re talking about! But aaaah please don’t be so hard on yourself anon artist 😭 and no need to apologize! I am sad to hear that after all this time you’re still bothered by what you delivered, but I also completely understand. I’ve delivered commissions/work that I later on was dissatisfied with. But how we perceive what we do and what the commissioner/client in the end receives and views through their pink-tinted blorbo loving glasses is often worlds apart. Maybe there is always some trepidation when it comes to another artist commissioning you, but I don’t look for mistakes when I receive art. I’m just happy to see my guys and gals in another style 😌

What matters is that you gave everything you could at the time and that already means a lot to me. If you’re ever up for it and want to give it another shot, feel free to write me privately and I can see if there’s something I’d like commissioned again 👀

[persephoneprice]

gratitude for the new year

(inspired by @the-sun-and-the-sea)

over this past year, i have had so much fun on here with all of you. i appreciate everyone on here- the mutuals, the lurkers, the og trilogy fans that for some reason put up with the nonsense! all of you have made this year so much easier for someone who was struggling elsewhere in life <3

i hope we can all continue to be silly, fun, creative, and a little a lot unhinged into the next year. this fandom is such a lovely and supportive little corner. i’ve been inspired to do things i never thought i’d do- writing fanfiction, doing a fic exchange, unhinged cannibalism thoughts- the usual.

(under the cut for the gratitude things!)

- i want to start out by saying how much i appreciate anyone who sent me and ask over this past year! especially you my lovely anon friends! it’s been so much fun and in my…far too many years on tumblr i’ve never been able to interact with so many people! i cannot overstate how nice it is so have so many people will to engage about our silly little guys.

- i also want to say how much i appreciate the corso creatures discord as a whole! when we made it, i’m not going to lie, i really thought that would fizzle out quickly. so i’m so happy to see it thriving and everyone having fun on there together. thank you again, @coryo for helping make a place where can all truly be together and be ourselves!

now onto some people who have made this year so wonderful for me:

@the-sun-and-the-sea - i remember messaging you for the first time and honestly being so intimidated! you seemed like such a cool and popular blog + so many amazing fics and seemed wayyyy too cool to be talking to the weird tbosas girl. i couldn’t have been more wrong! you’re the sweetest, most genuine, and supportive person i’ve had the privilege of being friends with this year.

@felixravinstills - you have inspired me so much over the past year! before i started this blog i was so embarrassed by my interests and i felt so silly and stupid. then i met you, who was so talented and creative and insane about you little guy! and it made me feel more okay with being open about my little guys and to be a little weird about it! please forever stay the person you are <3

@fairyhagmother - my appalachian friend (in my head. you are one of us.) i was so, so excited when someone on here was so educated on appalachia and wanted to talk about it! i never would have thought at the time that in just a few months we could be talking about…coriolanus snow’s grandma’am and toxic yuri. i still think about that festus/pippa/liv ballet post you did btw. love u my friend.

@ylvisruinedmylife - hannah i couldn’t possibly fit how much i appreciate you into a post! i love bouncing off insane ideas with you and torturing hils together. i’m always amazed by how intelligent and creative and talented you are…and you’re still so friendly and supportive! your support, especially with my jessup nonsense, means the world. thank you for not killing you know who in you know what. i hope treemina never frees you.

@moreespressoformydepresso - fun fact: i also was lowkey intimidated by you for a while! imagine my surprise when you wanted to befriend me and dm and tell me about all of your fun aus! now, i couldn’t imagine my fandom experience without you. thank you for being so friendly and supportive and down to yap with me <3 you’ll never escape me 😤

@spiralling-thoughts - i love how you keep the tribute fandom alive and give so much life to all the minor tributes! you’re one of the first friends i had on here, and i really appreciate you sticking with my over this year! please always feel free to tell me all of your ideas, i love hearing them!

@majorsoapfan - AH you’re so sweet and talented! i love yapping with you in the dms and coming up with silly ideas! not to mention the absolute masterpieces of works you create!

@sparklebear11 - you fr are the maude ivory to my barb azure! you’re so silly and fun, please never change that about you. i hope the covey haunts you forever so you’ll stick around with us!

@keeperofsecretsunderthehill - i wish i had the creativity that you do! you’re always coming with such different, yet equally interesting, ideas! cranedove ceo always <3

@xtabithanala - not only did you create one of my favorite fics and help me love liv even more- you’re also so kind and supportive to me?? an angel! i hope we can talk more over this next year and get to know each other better!

i’m so looking forward to getting to know all of you guys better over this next year! @thatthingilovewith (can’t wait for more bobbin), @tumblingghosts (i miss yapping with you!, @meekmedea (always such a lovely presence but i’d love to talk to you more!), @little-de-vil (please keep yapping about the d2 lore in my dms forever), @ilovepersephoneprice (pippa friend!!!! we have so much more yapping to do!), @vampirehizzies (my mizzen sized mutual that i am so proud of!), @solar-halos (love u girlie let’s yap more), @mr-nauseam (you’re a great friend and your kindness and patience is amazing!), @ritalinrae (let’s yap more!), @threestargirls (i’m so looking forward to yapping with you in the new year!), @mollywog (we don’t often interact but i love when we do- i still think about that playground thing you said!), @jinglebellpeppre (how have we not yapped together about miz?), @julietasgf (talented artist queen) <3

if i forgot some please feel free to yell at me and i’ll tell you how much i appreciate you and why

(honorary mention to bel who i miss dearly)

have a lovely new year everyone <3

[starieq]

“Lovin her seems tiring..” part 1

Taggies/ warnings; Pro!HeroKats, cheating, fingering, creampie, blowjob, ridding, cumming, squirting, swearing, mention of sex toys, dirty talk, titty fuck, drinking, drunk messaging, dry humping.

a/n: i had a little to much fun with the Taggies/warnings, lmao!: hello! Tysm for all the damn love! I honestly feel really happy I decided to make an account cuz I’d just go on tumblr and read bkg fics. Some of my favorites have liked Stuffie animals and some followed me, which oml🥹 but i’am really just on here to make people’s day and make some new friends:D enjoy my first 18+ fic and tell me what anime characters or characters I should write abt! Love ya! 🤭🫶🏼

part 2!

You’ve been working with Katsuki Bakugo, aka, the more professional word, “Dynamight” for a few months now. As his pretty little assistant, you have to deal with his bull shitting, make meetings for him, make meeting PLANS with other pro heros, schedule trips for him and his little bitch of a girlfriend, Kira. God you fucking hate her. You don’t really wanna admit that you have a big crush on Dynamight, but only your diary knows that information. But, you get why he chose her. She has the perfect long black silk hair that hangs out with her ass, glossy lips, pretty dark green eyes, slim hourglass figure, and perfect pale skin. But, you also don’t know why the fuck he chose her, because all she does on her free time is spend Bakugos money on stuff she wants. You’re also pretty positive she spent some of his money on a fucking boob job. 

You come home to your cute apartment to your cat Loki, stretching on your leg begging to be carried and snuggle up with his favorite human in the world. If you’re feeling in the mood, you’d pick him up and put him on the little bed by the window where he spends most of his time sleeping, when  you two get up, sleeping when you’re getting ready for work, and sleeping when you’re at work. 

Anyways, you’re in the mood to just sit in your bed, legs spread wide, with your box of toys next to you. head propped up on some pillows while your vibration toy is on your puffy sensitive clit thinking of Bakugo pushing his redish pink angry head through your sensitive folds while you’re moaning his name. 

“F-fuck..! C-cant.. f-fucking take i-it! Bak- mh~ Bakugo!” You moan. The white bed sheets turning a light shade of grey. 

You take a look down in between your legs to see what just happened. You’ve never squirted before? Usually your clit would just throb. You swipe off hair from your forehead when you hear your phone ringing. 

You scramble out of the bed to get to your phone which was across the room. 

:caller ID; Dynamight🧡💥:

“Shit!” You whisper yell as you tried to swipe answer.

“Hello? y/n speaking,” you say trying to sound professional and calm since you just fucking squirted.

“Fuckin know who you are.” Bakugo grumbles.

“Sorr-“ Bakugo cuts you off.

“Need ya to schedule a hotel for me and you. Got a fuckin mission in Tokyo and ya need to come with.” He says with an annoyed voice.

“I-“ you get cut off again, but with a girls voice.

“Katsuki! I need more laced bras! Ugh, you’re so cheap! Gimme your card now! And who the fuck are you on call with? Trynna cheat on me while I’m in the same fucking room as you right now?!??” 

You’re guessing that’s Kira. God she’s annoying. She’s obviously a fucking gold digger out for his fame and money. You’d be so much better to him unlike his bratty girlfriend.

“I’m on the fuckin phone with my damn assistant brat! I don’t give two fucks if ya need laced ass bras! Leave me the fuck alone woman!” Bakugo yells. 

“Make the fuckin reservations tonight.” The last sentence he said before hanging up. 

[arctrooper69]

As Iron Sharpens Iron

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17

Beta-read by @dragonrider9905

Chapter 10:

Previous // Next

Warnings: Miscommunication, angst.

A/N: Sorry this one is so short! I promise the action and excitement will be back next chapter! 😁

--------------------------------------------------

“Wait!” Hunter called out, standing up to follow you down the ramp, “I can explain!”

He rushed to the door, determined to follow you down the ramp, but he paused, feeling Echo’s hand on his shoulder.

“I’d give her a bit,” he advised. Hunter sighed and sat back down.

“Well that went well.” Tech clapped a hand to Hunter’s shoulder, then pushed his goggles further up on his face as he turned back to the cockpit to finish up the project he’d been working on.

“Wait, I’m confused,” Wrecker got off his bunk, “Hunter and Tara?”

Hunter sighed. “No! It’s not like that! I mean…”

Echo put his hand on Omega’s shoulder, attempting to direct her back to her room.

“Then what is it like, Hunter?” Omega asked, pushing Echo’s hand from her.

Hunter felt his chest tighten as he saw the hurt on her face. “It’s nothing, Omega. Go to your room.”

Omega crossed her arms, making no move to obey the command. “No! It’s not nothing! She obviously likes you and…” she paused to take a breath, looking down, “...and I thought you liked her too!”

“I do like her Omega… it’s just complicated. You’ll understand when you’re older.”

Omega frowned at him. “I’m old enough.” she said defiantly. “You taught me that communication with your squad is important.”

Hunter didn’t respond, he knew she was right.

Omega sighed in frustration. “This is why we talk to each other, Hunter! You should’ve told her!”

“I know, Omega. I messed up. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not all your fault, you know.” she said softer, putting a hand on his knee.

“She’s right,” Echo chimed in, “We all need to do better at communicating with each other.”

“Yeah…” agreed Wrecker, and turned back to Hunter.

“Really? Tara? Huh… gotta say I didn't expect that.”

Hunter glared. “I told you it wasn't like that. I was putting away some supplies and she came onto me, okay? She had a few too many drinks after the mission on Dantooine. She came onto me, started feeling me up and kissing me. Caught me by surprise and I pushed her away, told her I wasn't interested.”

Wrecker whistled “Damn, you're a popular man these days.” He chuckled, “I totally woulda let Tara kiss me.”

Echo elbowed him, “Not helping, Wrecker…”

“Oh. Sorry, Hunter.”

“It’s fine, Wreck.”

Echo gave Hunter a sympathetic look before retreating to the cockpit as well to help with repairs. The last mission had been hard on the Marauder as well as the mood of the team.

--------------------------------------------------

@zoeykallus @ttzamara @nahoney22 @merkitty49 @viva-la-whump @agenteliix @dumpsters-little-matchbook @nekotaetae @ladykatakuri @loverofclones @heyitsaloy @padawancat97 @jambolska-grozdova @flyingkangaroo @melymigo @the-rain-on-kamino @jiabae @my-own-oracle @dragonrider9905 @queenofspades6 @ordinarylokix @jupitersaturnapollo @queencousland101 @vampire-rogue @southernbaguette @staycalmandhugaclone @dalu-grantkylo @dangraccoon @aconstructofamind @sev-on-kamino @sol-the-otter @pb-jellybeans @atomickidsoul @caitnotfound @ghostlyembassy @skellymom @freesia-writes @trixie2023 @jedipoodoo @reader6898 @all-mights-babygirl @arcsimper5 @red-robin-yum08 @wintersnnowie @whore-of-many-hot-men @theeyesofasoldier @griffedeloup @starswhores @totallyunidentified @waytooldforthis78

If you want to be on my taglist, feel free to send me a message! Also, asks are open! Reblogging is very much encouraged and it makes me do a happy dance every time any of my writing gets reblogged 😂❤️

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 74

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe: Military School

Words: 5K

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Friday, March 25th; 9:15 a.m. - Camp Wiegman

I arrive in the common room where a large number of students have gathered. The head teachers and some instructors, including Lucy, have been called to a big meeting. The students are saying it’s about yesterday’s scandal, as several of them, myself included, suffered from indigestion. I’ll ask Lucy if that’s true. They were smart about it; they scheduled it for 9 a.m. to make sure we couldn’t leave before noon. So, we have an hour of free time. I spot Alexia sitting on the couch, chatting with a guy I don’t know. I’m glad she’s here too. We didn’t know which class would be freed due to the meeting. I walk over to them with my friends. I wanted to use this break to catch up on the form we had to fill out for the trip. The others assured me I didn’t miss much. They were bored to death, especially Leah, who was left alone because of me. The good thing is they’re going to give me their notes to help me fill out the questionnaire. I want to show my teacher I’m capable of working. Especially since he’s developed a kind of disdain for me recently. He didn’t even check on me yesterday or say I didn’t need to turn in my work. Well, according to Alessia, the questions were simple, and she thinks I wouldn’t have had any trouble answering them if I’d gone on the trip.

"Hey," I greet Ale.

"Oh, you’re here too!" she exclaims, hugging me. "How are you feeling?"

"Still the same as this morning," I joke.

Alexia was really worried when she found out I was one of the affected students. Fortunately, I was just sick yesterday. This morning feels like yesterday never happened. Of course, I skipped the hot chocolate today. It’ll take me some time before I can drink it again, but for now, I’m sticking to orange juice.

"Can you lend me your notes, Alessia?" I ask my friend, who’s now sitting on my other side.

"Oh, forget about school for a bit! You’re with us for once!" Ale scolds me.

"Alright, alright," I laugh. "You sound just like Lucy."

"She scolds you too?" Leah teases from the couch across from us.

"Yeah," I groan, stretching. "She dragged me out all weekend to make me stop. According to her, I always find something to obsess over when I’m stressed."

"She’s not wrong. Speaking of stress, have you heard back from the galleries?"

"It’s better not to talk about frustrating things right now..." Alessia comments on my behalf.

I cross my arms, feeling a bit down. I’ve gotten a few rejections this week, which I shared with Alessia. She also loves art and is happy that I’m pursuing it. She doesn’t have the same courage as me, though, since she plans to stick with administration to secure her future. I have to admit I’m starting to feel anxious about the feedback. Maybe I’ll have to do the same as her. There’s no way I’m staying home doing nothing, though.

"Don’t worry. I heard Mapi’s coming this weekend. That’s cool; she’ll be able to cheer you up."

I raise an eyebrow.

"What do you mean, Mapi’s coming?"

"Uh... You didn’t know? I called Jenni after class. Lucy told her this morning that she’s coming."

"Lucy?!"

This news catches me off guard. How is it that she knew before me that my best friend is coming? And even if that’s the case, why didn’t she just tell me? Alexia feels bad about my reaction.

"Maybe it was supposed to be a surprise...? Crap. I probably shouldn’t have told you! Lucy’s going to kill me! Can you pretend you don’t know?"

I smile despite myself and shake my head. Maybe she’s right. I hope so, honestly.

"What are you offering for my silence?" I tease, amused.

She playfully hits my arm, and our friends laugh. It’s so easy to tease her. I laugh too, but I’m glad she’s getting along better with my girlfriend. Suddenly, I start thinking about Mapi. It’s not surprising I wasn’t informed by her; I’ve been out of the loop, buried in my studies. Maybe she did message me, and I missed it. That would be more worrying. I already feel bad just thinking about it.

"So, what are we doing? Besides catching up on boring school stuff, of course."

"Hey. Calm down, will you?"

"Nope. By the way, Alba’s meeting Jenni next weekend. She’ll probably stop by the gym."

"Really? Where is she anyway?" I ask, glancing around.

"Probably with her girlfriend somewhere. I haven’t seen her since we got let out."

I chuckle, imagining exactly where they must be. Normally, we’re not allowed to have «intimate relationship », but with the supervision lightened, now’s probably the perfect time.

"I see. So, she’s stuck in for the weekend?"

"Yeah. Misa’s staying with her. That’s why we’re doing it next weekend. She’s excited to meet her..."

"I bet. How did Jenni take it?"

"She doesn’t know yet. Don’t say anything, though. I’m planning to break it to her gently this weekend..."

I laugh heartily. I’d pay to see her face when she tells her. I think she’s going to be totally shocked. Alexia explained to me that her only fear is that her sister won’t accept her, which would strain their relationship. I understand that. The opinion of someone close to you carries a lot of weight. I’ve been a victim of that between Lucy and Mapi myself.

"And why are you introducing them at their gym? Is there no other place?"

"What’s ‘their gym'?" Leah asks.

"Oh, uh... You don’t know."

"You’re not allowed to talk about it, are you?" she teases.

We glance at each other, and I shrug. I’m not sure, actually. Lucy hasn’t mentioned anything, but I don’t think she wants the students to know it’s her last year.

"Sorry, Leah," I simply say.

She shrugs indifferently. She doesn’t seem upset, so it’s fine.

"Anyway, so?"

"Well, I figured it’d be a neutral place. Plus, she’ll see that she has ambitious plans and that she’s not irresponsible."

"Hmm, hmm," I tease.

"What? You don’t think it’s a good idea?"

"I just wonder if you’re not trying to convince yourself..." I giggle.

"A little..." she admits. "Plus, I figured you guys would be there just in case..."

"Oh no, I’m stopping you right there. Lucy’s already told me she doesn’t want to be there when it happens."

"Oh no," she pouts. "Don’t tell me that."

"I swear. I didn’t even have to ask. She brought it up herself, and I don’t think it’s negotiable. She keeps saying she doesn’t want to see any of my friends from here before the end of the year. I’m sorry..."

"What if I organize a party?" Leah suggests. "It would kill two birds with one stone since I’d like to see her outside of here."

I grimace a little. She doesn’t realize I’m going to get scolded again if I keep pushing.

"That could be fun, being all together," Alessia agrees.

"You guys are unbelievable. You really can’t wait a month and a half?"

"Tell that to Alba," Alexia retorts. "She’s the one trying so hard to bring the events closer."

I sigh, running a hand through my hair.

"When would this party be?" I give in.

"In three weeks," Leah tells me. "My parents will be going away for the weekend with some friends. We figured it’d be the perfect time to throw another party. Plus, it’s right before the holidays."

Alessia nods beside her, confirming what Leah just said.

"OK…" I mutter. "I’ll see what I can do, but I can’t promise anything. Lucy can be really stubborn when she wants to be."

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! You’re the best!" Ale replies excitedly.

She kisses my cheek several times before letting me go. Meanwhile, I keep glancing at every door that opens, hoping Lucy will walk through. We don’t know how long the meeting will last, but I’m optimistic. I smile when I see it’s not my girlfriend, but Ingrid. I interrupt Ale and Leah’s conversation, where my roommate is asking if it’s okay for her girlfriend to come, since she’s now planning to delay the meeting between her and her sister until then.

"I’ll be right back," I say as I stand up.

Alexia watches me, confused, until she spots Ingrid.

"Oh no. Please don’t tell her you know about Mapi. I’ll get in trouble again!" 

I laugh and wave her off. Whether she likes it or not, I’m definitely going to question Ingrid, who’s probably the first to know what’s going on. I approach her, and she spots me right away, greeting me with a smile.

"What brings you here, Ona?"

"Hey, how are you?"

"Good, and you?"

"Good too. Is Lucy still in the meeting?"

"Yep. You probably won’t see her all morning. She’s got a meeting with Wiegman right after."

A lightbulb goes off in my head. Damn! I completely forgot about that! She had told me earlier in the week that she scheduled a meeting with her to resign. Ingrid laughs, clearly noticing that I just remembered.

"I’m such an idiot."

"If you say so," she teases.

I bite my lip. I wish I could’ve said something to encourage her, but now it’s too late.

"Don’t stress about it. She won’t hold it against you. She knows you’ve got a lot on your mind. And you weren’t feeling well yesterday either."

I nod. It doesn’t erase the guilt I feel, though. I’ll try to make up for it this weekend. In the meantime, I remember why I’m here in the first place.

"I heard Mapi is coming."

"Did Alexia spill the beans?"

"Was it supposed to be a surprise?"

"Oh no. Mapi’s tried texting you several times this week, but none of the messages got through. She thinks your phone’s off. Lucy wanted to tell you yesterday, but you weren’t feeling well."

I groan, realizing what’s happened. I feel really bad now. My phone must be off since I haven’t used it since Monday.

"At least you found out she’s coming before we go pick her up, so it’s not too bad."

I scowl as she clearly makes fun of me. Well, I deserve it. At least she doesn’t beat around the bush when telling me things.

"So, we’re going together to pick her up?"

"Yep. Lucy suggested we all have lunch together after we pick her up."

I nod, grateful she’s taken the initiative without needing my input. Damn, I really need to make up for all of this this weekend.

"OK… Thanks."

"No problem."

I can tell she finds this situation amusing. With an embarrassed smile, I turn back to my friends. Hopefully, once I apologize to everyone, I won’t feel as foolish. 

Friday, March 25; 12:15 PM - Camp Wiegman.

I was waiting for Lucy outside the school, like we usually do. I had already seen Ingrid’s car pass by, so I figured Lucy would be next, and sure enough, her car pulls into the parking lot. She parks in the open spot right in front of me. I have so many things to tell her, I don’t even know where to start. I put my suitcase in the trunk and join her in the front seat.

"Hey."

"Hi."

I lose my smile when I see the serious look on her face.

"Is something wrong?"

"Get in. It’s windy."

I do as she says, closing the door behind me. The bad weather has passed, and we’ve got sunshine, but a cool breeze has followed it.

"What’s going on?" I ask, seeing her stare straight ahead.

I don’t like seeing her like this. Luckily, she’s not one to beat around the bush with me.

"Wiegman knows."

My heart skips a beat at this unexpected news. Then it starts racing, and I can’t calm it down. No, this can’t be happening. Not now, not when my exams are in a month. Not after all the effort I’ve put in. Tears well up in my eyes. I blink to get rid of them, but it’s no use.

"Is it…? H-how? This is crazy!"

"Hey, hey," she says, noticing my state. "Calm down. It’s not as bad as you think."

She takes my hands and kisses them, one by one. Her calmness manages to soothe me, even though I still don’t know how things aren’t as bad as she says.

"How did she find out?"

"Your management professor… He saw me kiss you yesterday while you were still asleep. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I was planning to this weekend."

"He… That jerk!" I fume. "Did you talk to him?"

"No, I didn’t get the chance. What caught me off guard was that he reported us to Wiegman before I could even do that."

"And Wiegman!? Did she believe him? Just like that? Without letting us explain ourselves?"

"Calm down, baby. No. She asked for my side of the story… I didn’t want to lie, especially when I had my resignation letter in my hand."

I must look shocked. She didn’t do that, did she?

"Stop panicking. Neither of us is getting expelled," she tells me.

"Wait—we’re not…?"

A small smile appears on her face. I remember her first expression. She must have been just as angry as I am. Now she looks like she’s teasing me. How can she? Our principal knows! Shouldn’t we be packing up and getting out of here? That’s what happened to Jenni!

"Given the circumstances, no, I’m not."

"Are you going to explain?"

She chuckles softly, still holding my hands in hers. I don’t find this funny. She dropped this bombshell on me and is now laughing about it. It’s hard to understand.

"We had a long discussion. I spent nearly two hours in her office. When she brought it up, I didn’t know what to do, but I decided to be honest, and it looks like that paid off."

"We’re really not getting expelled?"

"No. I think the fact that you’re your mother’s daughter helped a lot."

I relax, and for the first time in my life, I’m grateful to be her daughter.

"I confirmed our relationship, but I also explained all the good I’ve brought to you. I told her about how hard you’re working to pass your exam, your progress, and your future plans.

- And what did she say?

- She was hesitant at first, until I showed her the pile of exercises you gave me to correct. She realized that our relationship is serious and that it’s helping you.

- Of course! And that’s it?

- Sort of. I told her that if she has to expel someone, she should only expel me, and I handed her my resignation letter. I didn’t want her to ruin your future over this.

- But I thought...

- I’m not expelled, Ona. Let me finish.

- Sorry, I said, blushing.

She’s talking a lot without getting to the point, but I can tell my impatience is amusing her.

- She initially thought I was giving her my resignation because of this, but I told her about my plans to open a gym. Thanks to our evening classes and Ingrid’s testimony, she recognized my professionalism and honesty. She didn’t want to destroy your efforts or our future, so… she’s cutting us some slack. I’ll remain your supervisor until the end.

- So… Wiegman knows, and we’re not expelled…?

I mutter the words, struggling to comprehend them. It feels so surreal.

- It’s not without consequences. She’s going to talk to your professor to make him drop the idea. As for us, we need to stay discreet. If anyone else sees us together and reports it, she won’t be able to protect us, and both our futures will be at risk. Do you understand?

I nod, feeling completely lost. Wow. I never saw this coming. It’s insane.

- Then why did you look so serious earlier? You scared me!

- Sorry. I don’t know. Shocked and angry, I guess. I’m having a hard time processing it too. I always imagined I’d be leaving the day she found out.

- Well, that’s not happening. Isn’t this good news?

- Oh, definitely.

- I suppose I should forget the question I was going to ask you...

- What question? she asks curiously.

- Leah invited us to a party she’s throwing with everyone. Alexia wants us to come because she’s planning to introduce Jenni to Alba.

I quickly explain while playing with her fingers. I knew it would be complicated, but it’s even more so now.

- You know we’ve had this conversation before, Lucy begins, tilting my chin up.

- I know. It’s the others who pressured me...

- I know it’s complicated for you, but we need to stay discreet a little longer. After that, I promise we can shout our love for each other to anyone.

- And go out with my friends?

She rolls her eyes with a small smile. At first, I could tell this situation suited her. I mean, it must be strange for her too, hanging out with people who were once her students.

- Yes, sweetheart. We can go out with your friends. I’d do anything for you.

I kiss her tenderly at this admission. She’s a sweetheart.

- We need to go. Ingrid’s probably waiting for us, she murmurs between kisses.

I pull away and buckle up at the mention.

- Yeah, I heard Mapi’s coming this morning...

- That’s right. Ingrid told me how upset you were about it, she chuckles, placing a hand on my thigh as she starts the car. I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you yesterday, but I completely forgot because of your condition.

- It’s my fault too. I’ve been so out of it...

- Don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re allowed to work hard during the week, she unexpectedly defends me. Mapi will understand.

- Hmm...

- If it helps, I gave her updates on your behalf.

- Really? I asked, surprised.

- Well, yes. She worries when you don’t reply, so she comes to me.

- Thanks.

- You don’t have to thank me for that. She’s your best friend.

- Yes, but it’s not like you’re her biggest fan, I chuckled.

She rolls her eyes in amusement.

- True, she mutters. But you’d be surprised what we could do together for you.

I smile at the thought. I think she’s right. Even if they don’t exactly get along, they’d tolerate each other for my sake. We finally arrive at Ingrid’s place to pick her up. I offered to let her sit up front, but she insisted I stay there. Next stop: the airport. Our chat with Lucy made us late, so by the time we get there, Mapi is already waiting with her suitcase. She greets us one by one, finishing, of course, with Ingrid, whom she can’t stop kissing.

- Couldn’t resist coming, huh? I teased.

- Nope, not really. I’m taking the opportunity to bring some things over and see you both, since I heard you won’t be around for the next holidays.

- That’s true, I admit with a shy smile. Sorry about that.

Lucy pulls me into a hug when she notices how I feel. It’s a fair complaint. I didn’t handle these holidays, but I do know Lucy booked our tickets—and Jenni and Alexia’s—this week.

- It’s okay, I’m just teasing. Your girlfriend defended you enough for me to forgive you, she says, giving me a little hug.

I really need to thank Lucy for that. Usually, Mapi holds grudges much longer. Finally, we head to the restaurant. We’re all starving. Our girlfriends take us to a place I haven’t been before. Mapi seems in good spirits, chatting non-stop about her plans to move here after the school year. Her doubts are far behind her now. She hasn’t heard from her parents in a long time either. She confided that she thinks it’s time to cut ties with them for good. I can only support her in that. I’ve met them once, but they were never really around due to their work. When they did talk to their daughter, it was mostly to criticize her or try to convince her to change her mind about taking over the family business. In that kind of situation, there’s no point in staying in contact. I really admire Mapi’s courage. Even though my mom and I were estranged for a long time, I don’t know if I’d have the guts to do the same. I’m very tied to family, especially because of the promises I made to my dad. Plus, if Mapi were in my situation, I doubt her parents would have offered the help my mom gave me last year. I can blame my mom for a lot of things, but not that, and it’s why I decided to reconnect with her.

- I ran into Abby this week while grocery shopping, Mapi tells me.

- Really? I say, not looking up from the menu.

I’m thinking of getting a burger. I saw one go by, and it looked delicious. Our drinks arrive within minutes. The service seems fast, which is good because I’m starving.

- She told me about the wedding... Is that why you reacted so strongly the last time she visited?

- Not really. There were a lot of things that set me off.

- I’m not going to force you to talk about it, but I think Abby believes you don’t want to come. You should give her a call if you plan on going. That’s all she’s waiting for.

- Do you know the date? She didn’t have time to tell us, Lucy asks.

- Uh, I don’t remember exactly. I think it’s in June.

So soon? I must have shown my surprise because she gives me a sympathetic smile.

- Well, I guess you should call her today, huh? Lucy advises, rubbing my thigh to comfort me.

In just two months, my mom will marry another man. I’m struggling to process it. Everything must have been planned behind my back for months. Lucy kisses my temple, and the conversation moves on. I have trouble following. It’s like my mom was waiting for me to finish school so I could attend the wedding. It warms my heart, in a way. She’s hoping I’ll be there, despite everything that’s happened between us.

We’ll talk more about it when we get home, if you want, Lucy whispers in my ear. »

I nod and snuggle up to her on the bench we're sharing. I'm not sure if it will be necessary, but it always feels good to confide in her. Meanwhile, Mapi keeps talking about how hard she's been working lately. Looks like I'm not the only one pushing myself for this final stretch. The only difference is that she manages to juggle her two lives without anyone saying anything to her. I think I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed, too. It's not easy to catch up on everything I've missed. But I’m going to hang in there. I'm almost there.

Friday, March 25th; 10:15 PM - Ona and Lucy’s Apartment  

We’ve just come home for the first time today. I’m glad to be back in our place. The atmosphere immediately puts me at ease. We spent the day with the girls, in town, then at the gym later in the afternoon where Jenni, Alexia, and Beth were still working, preparing to receive the first pieces of furniture in two weeks. Then, it’ll finally be vacation time. I sigh as I settle next to my girlfriend on the couch.

- “Relieved to be home?”  

- “Oh yes!” I reply. “It’s good to relax too.”  

- “Definitely.”  

I sigh contentedly as my head falls onto her lap. Lucy immediately starts running her fingers through my hair. I close my eyes to enjoy the moment to the fullest.  

- “Do you want to call your mom?”  

- “Oh no,” I groan. “Not tonight. I’ll do it tomorrow, when I can take my time.”

I lay on my side, placing my hand on her thigh. It’s a pretty comfortable position. Lucy is sitting with her feet stretched out on the other side of the couch, facing the TV. She flips through the channels before settling on some random series I’m not really paying attention to.

- “Are you feeling good about going to your mom’s wedding?”  

I nod, lifting my head to look at Lucy. She’s watching me intently. She’s always so worried about me, and it’s adorable.

- “She wants us there, so we’ll be there.”  

- “Alright…”  

- “Shouldn't we be thinking about our next vacation instead?” I ask.  

- “If you want. I didn’t tell you, but… I booked a ticket to land in Lisbon.”  

- “What? How come?”  

- “Well, since we’re already going to Portugal, I thought we might as well visit the city where you grew up and where your dad is buried.”  

- “That’s amazing! Thank you so much.”  

- “It’s no big deal,” she smiles.  

- “How long will we stay? I guess you’ve already planned everything?”  

She laughs and nods.

- “We’ll arrive in Porto around the same time as Jenni and Alexia, for about a week.”  

- “You’re so sweet, always thinking of me.”  

- “I know,” she jokes. “Do you have any family we could stay with?”  

- “Of course. My grandfather.”  

- “Oh, right. The one you like so much, right?”  

- “Yes! I can’t wait for you to meet him! I’ll let him know as soon as I can. He’s going to be so happy.”  

I sit up and straddle her to show my gratitude with a big hug.

- “Thank you, really. I love you so much.”  

- “I love you too, my love.”

We kiss tenderly before I rest my head on her shoulder.

- “Are you sure your parents are going to like me?”  

She laughs, running her hand through my hair, sending shivers down my spine. It’s a fear that haunts me. I’m afraid they won’t accept me, and that Lucy might leave me because of it. When I lift my head again, she looks at me with adoration, her eyes filled with all the love she has for me.

- “I promise they will.”  

- “You seem really sure of that…”  

- “Stop worrying about it. They’re going to love you. They’re actually really excited to meet you.”  

- “Really…? You’ve already told them about me?”  

- “Of course. I’ve had plenty of chances to call them from school and talk about you. They know you exist and that we’re coming in a few weeks. They also know you were my student at school, why you were there, but most importantly, they know how much I love you.”  

- “Y-you told them everything!? Oh my God!”  

I try to pull away, but Lucy holds me back with a small laugh. There’s nothing funny about this! How could she tell her parents that I was a former junkie who ran away with my ex to ruin my life?

- “Calm down. I did it to save you from a bunch of awkward questions. I wanted to tell them myself so they’d know what to expect. Mostly, I wanted them to understand how much you mean to me and that they’d better not traumatize you. Well, at least not my dad. He’s a saint compared to my mom.”  

- “Fantastic,” I say sarcastically.  

Lucy smiles and presses her lips to mine.

- “I promise you don’t have to worry. And how about we head to bed now, huh? We’ve got a busy day ahead of us tomorrow, again.”  

- “OK…” I murmur. “Speaking of tomorrow, I made a few sketches for the walls of the rooms you guys want me to decorate.”  

- “Oh, really? I won’t ask when you found time to do that.”  

- “In my room,” I reply. “Who do you think I am? I’ve become responsible!”

I squeal as she lifts me up, turning off the TV in the process. The way she carries me to our bedroom brings back so many memories.

- “Of course, my love. We’ll take a look at them in the morning. Right now, it’s time for bed.”  

I smile, snuggling back against her shoulder. I’m not going to argue with that.

[dangermousie]

Confession time - I find Miles Wei’s character more interesting that Li Xian’s.

It’s honestly The Double again for me - a female centric narrative about a driven woman with a terrible weak ex and a powerful new dude - and I find myself much more interested in the bad dude than the good one.

OK, before people come for my head, this doesn’t mean I find Peony husband a better person than the Envoy or that I ship him with FL (no thank you!), I just find him more interesting as a character for the same reason that I found Shen Yurong more interesting in The Double (tho in The Double, it was exacerbated by the fact that SYR and Princess Wanning actors gave the best performances in the drama - the mains were great but those two were another level. Here I don’t think Husband is giving a better performance than Envoy.)

You never truly know how Husband would act and which way he’d jump. He’s not the noble main character bound by the narrative restrictions (and censorship restrictions) within a certain path. And that is what makes him interesting to me - the complexity but also the uncertainty. I mean both actual MLs of The Double and Peony have a bit of an edge - Duke Su is dramatic and ruthless and starts out using FL and Envoy is dramatic, standoffish from FL and seemingly corrupt. But it’s a cdrama in this era, not a decade plus ago, we all know every minute they are actually good guys - no, Envoy is not actually corrupt and Duke Su is not actually murder happy - the former is saving the bribes for the people of treasury or w/e, Duke Su only kills death penalty people and both are super super duper loyal to the crown and of course would save the FL if she really needed it.

That makes them great husband material but it removes a lot of the tension I find interesting. No, a character does not need to be dark and/or unhinged for me to find them interesting - I loved 17 in LYF and am loving XXC in The Blossoming Love and those two are utter Boy Scouts - but it is hard to do in such a way they grab me.

Meanwhile secondaries are out there running free of confines of the moral messages which gives them an edge.

In the olden days, you could have MLs which were like this (I am thinking of Glamorous Imperial Concubine - the deliciousness of it was that Kevin Yan started ready willing and able to harm FL for his goals, not to mention all the “proper” historicals - think of Three Kingdoms or Advisors’ Alliance - those were not romantic heroes in traditional sense or a more recent example of Goodbye My Princess or Siege in Fog - except their inability to let FL go it was anything goes for those MLs) but for obvious reasons, this doesn’t happen much any more - the closest we’ve come recently is Kunning and Blossom and I adored both - there a lot of tension was that even after we realized MLs would die for FL, you often had no idea how they’d jump for other reasons and it gave us tension.

(Interesting side note is something like Eternal Brotherhood where even until the last episode, in terms of romance, I could not tell how Xiu would react to Ning - he was a very good person but the tension in the narrative came from his immense damage - every scene between them crackled with whether his feelings would win or his issues - it was constantly his issues but in every scene I kept going…but what if? That’s good acting and writing! But then there was the other tension because what Xiu was dedicated to was brotherhood and his platonic ideal of what a just society should be - which put him on a collision course with the wishes of his heart, and his friends and even the ruler - it gave uncertainty also. That’s a hard balancing act.)

Anyway this is a ramble so I will finish this failed attempt at an essay by saying - if cdrama rules allowed mains more edge and uncertainty, I’d probably be (even) more interested but as is, much as I love the mains, I often end up more drawn to secondaries in terms of interest.

[pinkeoni]

I have another take on the monologue. Walk with me.

And I’m not saying that my interpretation is the correct one, but rather, I’d like to look at it from another angle and consider another possibility.

With the script coming out and the monologue recieving all of this renewed attention, I’m starting to think that maybe El did believe Mike’s monologue.

And this isn’t just me looking at the script as proof. And while yes, the script did say that she believed it, you can’t take what’s on the page as cold hard proof versus what is on the screen, BUT I do think that what we do see on screen supports this idea.

Oh, I still think that Mike was lying out of his ass, and many have already elaborated on that idea so I don’t really want to rehash it here. We as the audience know that Mike is lying because we get a much clearer view of everything, but El does not get that view. We heard Mike say in the van that meeting her was just dumb luck, El did not.

While we also know that Mike’s reasoning for not saying “I love you” comes from his internal struggles, El’s belief as to why Mike couldn’t say comes from her own inner turmoil. She believed that Mike couldn’t say it because she saw herself as a monster. She has no idea about Mike’s personal struggles and doesn’t really consider it a possibility just because she is too in her head. I elaborate more in this post about El’s dichotomous thinking and how it drives her in this season.

It might be different if, say, El questioned Mike if there was someone else, that would definitely send a different message. But this isn’t El believing that Mike is love with someone else. This is El believing that she is unlovable.

But if she did believe him, shouldn’t she have looked happy? Wouldn’t she be closer with him and not giving him the cold shoulder? Wouldn’t they have a conversation after to reconcile their feelings?

And I agree. This is not the face of someone who is happy to finally hear “I love you” from her boyfriend.

But it’s not because she didn’t believe him. It’s because she realized it’s not what she wants to hear because she is not in love with him.

I talked about it more in this post where I discuss some Elmike and Stobin parallels. Here’s the main point I want to draw attention to:

I don’t think El is intentionally lieing about her feelings. I think she felt this hole ever since Hopper left, and believed that Mike’s love was supposed to fix everything. That Mike’s love is what she wants to hear. And then she finally hears it, and realizes it’s not what she wants. So maybe the face she is making during the monologue isn’t out of dissapointment, maybe it’s out of realization and guilt.

This would be a perfect parallel to the end of season 3, which I talk about here—

—and I pretty much agree with everything I said before.

And think about it, if El did believe what Mike was saying, that would make this line—

—so much worse than it already was.

Maybe El believed Mike in that moment, and maybe it did give her enough strength to break free of Vecna’s grasp, but the important thing is that she fails.

And what does El’s dichotomous thinking tell us about how she’s thinking afterward? If she’s not a superhero, then she must be a monster. She got her powers back, her boyfriend loves her, and yet she’s still a monster. Everything that she believed would solve her problems, didn’t. So what can she now?

I think when El side eyes Mike in the cabin it can be read through this lens of guilt as well. How can she bring herself to tell the guy that fell madly in love with her at first sight, that she doesn’t feel the same way? Especially when this guy sees her as a superhero, the thing that El wants her to be? Would breaking up mean losing the superhero title along with the girlfriend title?

I guess I like this interpretation because it shifts the focus to both Mike and El’s internal conflicts, rather than placing their relationship faults on the other person. Mike isn’t a nerd who is hopelessly in love with someone who is disinterested because she is way cooler than him, and El isn’t hopelessly in love with a gay guy who can’t love her back (even though he is a gay guy imo). They are both not in love with each other, and it has nothing to do with the other person.

And what great irony would that be if they were in the exact same position. They both believed that what they wanted from the other person was their love, and it wasn’t until they got it when that cold hard truth would hit them across the face. Now they are in this awkward position where they believe the other person is in love with them, and they both care too much to actually break the truth to the other person. It’s perfect.

[bellsluck]

☆ about me ☆

hii, i’m bells!

thought it was about time i made an introduction.

i’m 21, a capricorn sun, leo moon, cancer rising (astrology freak), my ethnicity is a little complicated but i’ll put it as half british and half portuguese. i can speak english and portuguese fluently and have a half-decent grasp of spanish. i’ve lived in the uk for most of my life. sexuality: no labels.

i’d say i’m new to tumblr as this is the first time in my life i’m actually using it regularly, i think I’ve got the hang of it now. i feel so at home on here and i love having new mutuals hehe. feel free to message about literally anything (save me from the “singles in your area looking for-” dms, i beg).

☆ interests ☆

i love writing and reading, fanfic, music and film, generally just immersing myself in other worlds tbh. kisses to pinterest, ao3 and wattpad. tumblr now too i guess.

seemingly never ending harry potter obsession. marauders era, hogwarts legacy era, etc. slytherin girly. i was part of hptok at its peak in like 2020/2021, my page was basically dedicated to it. it was so much fun.

also star wars, specifically the hayden christensen trilogy, but i love the ogs too and i thinkmy favourite spin-offs are the mandalorian and obi-wan kenobi. if i ever get married it will be at lake como, idc how many times it's been done. i was at one of the filming locations last summer (theed palace) and almost crying like a little biatch.

i like video games too (mostly play on switch), but i’m very picky when it comes to finding ones i actually like, then I will rack up hours on it like there's no tomorrow… we love hyperfixation over here. love love love stardew valley, animal crossing and games along those lines but atm i’ve been doing my rounds on the resident evil games (re2 og, re4 remake, re6, down bad for leon kennedy) and also hogwarts legacy, i’ve finished most of it, i just have to complete my field guide now (desperately want to replay for the sebastian quests, also the new mod stuff is so cool!).

music wise, i listen to lots of different stuff, constantly go through phases, but for my all timers, aka can quote their discography from start to finish, i’d probably say lana del rey, radiohead, the weeknd and nirvana. recently it’s been lots of david bowie, queen, beabadoobee, portishead, fleetwood mac, the beatles… i could go on.

always open to recommendations for songs, playlists, films, series, games, books, fanfics, or anything, i love it all.

☆ onto the topic of shifting... ☆

i am happy to announce i am free from the shackles of “shift-tok”. if yk, yk. 

i’ll take this as a chance to ask nicely for any antis to please, please, not interact from here on out. thank you.

so, i initially found out about shifting on hptok 2020 (huge surprise ik) and so obviously i wanted to go to hogwarts. like??

needless to say i got caught up in all the tiktok misinformation, blatant lies, complicated asf methods, self explanatory. sorry younger-me. i could explain more but all in all i was too impatient and clueless, didn't really know what i was doing at all, eventually got bored, busy with school, and assumed everyone was lying (a few were, it seems).

 i completely forgot about it all after that until i came across a shifting post on reddit a few weeks ago. my tiktok fyp started filling with shifting/manifestation videos too right after. i was coincidentally in between a rewatch of the harry potter films at this point too. you know where this is going. i started seeing tiktoks from smaller creators just answering people’s questions about shifting, and it was all so different from all the stuff i’d heard years ago, spoken about in a completely different way, which just made so much sense to me and was so intriguing. i decided to delve into it all once again. it was those same creators who also would mention tumblr, and i, who had just joined tumblr for writing related stuff not long ago, decided to start searching up things related to shifting.

 i eventually came across some great accounts and information, stories of experiences, motivation, help. i started reading “journeys out of the body” by robert monroe too, so interesting, btw, and have since began my own shifting/exploring consciousness journey (i try to be careful what words i use for things, for lots of reasons, and i understand everyone might use different terms, reminder that i haven’t been on here for that long). it’s been amazing so far. 

(i may have straight up searched shifting realities on google the other day. curiosity got the best of me. it was bad. don’t do it.)

to not mislead anyone, no, i haven’t actually had a full experience in my specific “dr” yet. however it’s only been a small amount of time and i’ve already had lots of different types of sensations and experiences that i’ve never had before and it’s all so beautiful and interesting to me. i definitely view things a lot differently than i did before. i have shiftblr to thank for it.

i adore finding new shifter blogs and reading everything on them, so if i’m giving stalker behaviour it just means i’m loving your stuff or you're all over my feed. 

idk what i’m even going to post about yet, if or when i do. maybe i’ll write a bit into my “journey” so far, any experiences or how and what i do to get into certain states, about my dr, or stuff i’m just nerdy about in general. 

fyi just because i write does not mean i will always use any grammatical skills at all when writing for blog. sorry ;)

if you ever have any questions i’ll love you forever i will answer as best as i can.

this wasn’t all that exciting but i just wanted a little intro because i’m always blank on my socials. 

 thanks for reading !!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆

[samglyph]

Hi there! I love your artwork and your page. I see that you do commissions and have reblogged other artists who also do them. I’ve always wanted to commission an artist but I just.. have a LOT of social anxiety. I’m irrationally worried that by messaging an artist for work I’ll bother them or do something wrong. So my question for you: do you have any advice for people who’re getting commissions for the first time? Does or don’t in your opinion? I’d appreciate your input :)

Totally understandable, I appreciate you asking me! I know for my anxiety, sometimes it helps to have a script. Here’s some examples of fake/semi real commission messages that are super solid. I’ll specify key points at the end.

[importantly, this message would be sent through the proper channel, which in this case would be my ko-fi but for some might be a linked google form or simply an email. If you can’t figure out where to send your message for someone advertising open comms, just ask. They will be happy you’re interested]

Hi! I was interested in getting a commission from you of my dnd character Y. This would be an original design. Y is a [physical description]. He is [ story context with a focus on personality]. I’ve included some moodboards and a little stick figure comp doodle, but feel free to play around with the pose. Also, I’m sorry, my background idea is Z, but I wasn’t sure if that fell under simple or complex background. I selected simple, but I’m happy to redo the order or pay the additional cost separately.

-

Hi Artist. I’d like to commission you for an image of my oc in this funny pose. I’ve attached both the oc and the funny pose below. Thank you.

-

Hiiiii artist! I love your work! I was hoping you could draw this character from x media. I was recently looking at your [specific poster design] and would love if you could replicate that stylization! I was thinking [specific pose idea]. I think I’ve seen you talk about X before, but just in case, here is the character I’m talking about! Thanks again!

[and finally, not an example of an order, but a message you might find yourself sending]

“Hi! I have a question about your commissions! In your guidelines, it says you’re ok with A, but uncomfortable with C. Is B ok? No worries if not, thanks!”

These are all good! Key takeaways:

- Be nice. Be polite. I know this is the internet, but you are asking a stranger to do business with you. Being friendly is totally acceptable (see the third example) or being blunt (see second) but just remember that they are viewing you as a client asking for a service. If you’re rude to me you get no hotdog. But don’t worry. Asking questions, making mistakes, no one is gonna get you. Frankly, if you’re worried about coming across wrong, saying “this is my first time commissioning someone and I’m a bit nervous about it lol” is totally acceptable.

- always include reference. If a character doesn’t have existing reference, (i personally really like designing characters in comms so reference often doesn’t exist) send moodboards! They don’t need to be nice fancy aesthetic moodboards! Slap some similar characters and ideas for fashion, setting, etc. on there. Give the artist a good place to start from.

- clear communication! If you’re unsure about something, ask! Please! Ask questions! Even before handing us money to draw you something, asking questions shows your interest, and artists will usually be very quick to answer any queries. The first person is kind of an amalgamation of a couple orders I’ve gotten and it’s practically perfect, the only thing they maybe could’ve done is dm’ed me their question about backgrounds beforehand. But even then, it’s not a problem at all, since they’ve clearly communicated, and offered a solution that respects the artist immediately.

- you do not need to have everything figured out. I often provide multiple pose, design, and comp sketches depending on the order, so it’s totally fine to not know EXACTLY what you want, but still be ready to provide basic guidelines and answer questions if your artist asks for clarification on anything.

I’m not really focusing on “don’ts” because frankly, if you’re asking specifically how to commission someone correctly, that probably means that you’re already not going to disrespect the artists time and skill, but just for fun I’ll add a few: don’t ask for discounts, or ask if an artist can do something free if it’s clearly stated that their commissions are paid. Don’t rush someone (you’re a person on the internet not Epic Games) HOWEVER do communicate clearly if you have a deadline before ordering to see if they can accommodate you, and even if you don’t, ask about their timeline if they don’t provide one. Don’t complain about their timeline. Follow up, politely, if that timeline isn’t followed. It might seem nerve wracking, but again, most artists are going to want to communicate clearly with you if they’re experiencing any delays.

Final note: while I think a lot of artists will probably feel similarly to me, these are things that I focus on, so they��re not necessarily universal. Just remember, artists advertising commissions want you to commission them! You will never be bothering someone because you bought a service from them, or you asked a question about HOW to support them. They want you to do that. Also a lot of artists are also anxious awkward kinda weird human beings. You’ll be fine.

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Spring Cleaning Update:

Hey there, everyone! First and foremost, Happy Wednesday - I hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourselves the best way that you can.

Secondly, I figured that now o’clock seems like a good time to share some updates since it’s been a while and some things are changing.

Writing Things:

I’m going to be slowly but surely migrating to AO3 as my main fic posting place. A long ago version of me once thought that I’d keep up with posting to both places but I quickly learned that I’m a one trick pony (one site poster) and at the time, tumblr became the numero uno. But with all this talk of it not being around anymore, I’m jumping back over to the archive.

New chapters of ongoing wips will still be posted here until the wheels fall off. (until tumblr dies or the fic is finished) I’m going to start cross posting with shorter pieces/one shots, but the goal is to get it all on AO3. But until further notice, you’ll be able to find new chapters to ongoing series here as well as eventually there.

New stories will only be posted to AO3. I’ve already started this with The Contractor. I’ll still make announcement posts here when new chapters are up, again, until the wheels fall off, but new stuff will only be posted to AO3.

I’ll still be here in the meantime! My inbox is still always open, and so are my DMs. I’ll still be here to chat and gush about fictional characters and do tag games and support other writers and other members of the community and all that jazz!

But in case of fire, I’m also on discord. Same name over there, same dashes between the words. I’m not always the quickest to respond, but feel free to come say hi!

The March Fic Madness Mega Masterlist is live! Come and get your fic recs, folks! And if you’re still compiling your rec list, no worries! Send me a message or tag me whenever it’s complete and I’ll add you!

Bonus update: Currently working on Survivor Blues and The Contractor, so expect some Joel soon!

Putting the rest under the cut because it’s personal stuff and that’s probably not why you’re here.

Personal Things:

Mental health? Not good. Not going to mince words, I’ve been struggling a lot more than I ever really have before, for a longer period than I ever really have before. (I know that I’m in no way the only one going through this, especially right now with the world in the fucking toilet, and I’m so sorry to anyone else in this boat. It sucks so damn bad.) It’s been so long since I’ve actually felt like myself at this point that I’m worried that I’d walk right past her on the street. Being ground into the dirt for a prolonged time is just making it very hard to stand back up recently. I’m very lucky to have a great support system, so that does help a ton, though most days I still feel like my brain is in the dark and my lungs are shrink wrapped too tightly.

Physical health? Ha! Because of the aforementioned issues, I definitely physically feel like garbage most of the time, too. I haven’t slept a solid 6 hours in months at this point and I look it. I’ve also lost weight that I didn’t want/couldn’t really afford to lose, and I look it. Headaches and racing heartbeats have become a new normal that I absolutely hate. The very second that I have access to healthcare (unfortunately I’m uninsured at the moment) I will be seeking medical help for both the mental and the physical issues, but until then I’m doing what I can to keep on trucking.

Okay two bad things are enough, how about a good one? I’m starting to focus a little more of my attention and energy (when I can) on some original fiction! I’m challenging myself to submit pieces to writing contests as well as literary magazines, and I’m planning to partake in nanowrimo this November. My first deadline for a flash fiction (1k words or under) contest is in a few days, and it’s a spooky themed event!

Okay! I think we’re all good and caught up, now. (Bad and caught up, too.) If you have made it this far, please know that I’m sending you a hug through the internets. 🫂 💚