#(abridged)

[cabbage20122]

Taming of the Shrew is so funny, like there's a story inside of another story, half of the characters in both are disguised as someone else, and the only character who actually gets everything he wants in the end does it by being as annoying as he possibly can.

Hortensio: I can't marry Bianca until someone marries her older sister, but I wouldn't wish that girl on any- hey Petruccio you said you wanted to marry rich, right?

Petruccio: Your daughter is definitely in love with me, she's just pretending to hate me in front of other people because she's shy. Can we get married?

Baptista: How sweet! Absolutely

Katherine, standing right next to him: the audacity-

Katherine: sister bonding~ tell me who you have a crush on!

Bianca, crying: please untie me

Lucentio: I'm not actually a tutor, I switched places with my servant to woo you in secret

Bianca: Good start, but you call this wooing? You can do better

There's some old guy named Gremio who also wants to marry Bianca but he doesn't really do much

The wedding is not shown, but apparently Petruccio shows up hours late dressed in the most ridiculous articles of clothing he could find (and all of them are clashing) and riding a horse riddled with every disease under the sun (intestinal worms, tumors, a stuffy nose, etc.) punched the priest, and threw wine in his face because his beard was so thin it looked hungry.

On the way to his house, Katherine's horse falls in the mud and somehow lands on top of Katherine

Grumio, shivering: hey I've been sent to make sure the house is ready. Also can you light a fire?

Curtis: are they coming to the house now?

Grumio: yes, now about that fire

Curtis: is she as rude as they say?

Grumio: please I'm so cold

Curtis: i want gossip

Katherine, sleep-deprived and starving: can I have some food?

Grumio: sure would you like some beef and mustard?

Katherine: yes, that sounds great!

Grumio: ah, but the mustard might make your stomach hurt

Katherine: that's OK, I'll just have beef

Grumio: well, I can't just give you beef without mustard. . .

Katherine: just give me something I don't care

Grumio: would you like just mustard

Katherine, hangry: would you like to die

Petruccio: this dress is horrible, I didn't order this!

Tailor: your servant gave me instructions on how to make it, I just followed those

Grumio: ok but I didn't instruct you to make it ugly

Lucentio, conning a foreigner into pretending to be his dad so he and Bianca's dad can discuss the marriage between Bianca and the servant pretending to be Lucentio: I'm such a genius this plan can't possibly go wrong

Lucentio's actual dad: I think I'll go visit my son

Petruccio: it's 7 am, so if we leave now, we'll get to your father's house at lunchtime

Katherine: it's 2 pm, we won't get there til supper

Petruccio: do you have to disagree with everything i say? Maybe we won't go

Katherine: wait no I want lunch-

Lucentio: hi dad, meet my new wife!

Vincentio: . . .

Lucentio: Ok I'm sorry I got you arrested for impersonating yourself but in my defense-

Petruccio: wow, the moon is so bright

Katherine: it's the middle of the day, that's the sun

Petruccio: again with the arguing? Let's go back

Hortensio: are you kidding me we walked all this way

Katherine: WOW, LOOK AT THE MOON

When they finally get to the house for dinner, Katherine and Petruccio win a bet against the other couples and brag about how they're better than everyone there.

And the whole thing is just an elaborate prank on some random drunk guy WHO IS NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN AFTER ACT 1

[wronghands1]

[shadyvoxtruth]

How ShadyVox Threatened Myself & Others For Years

My name is Martin Billany but I am also known as LittleKuriboh in the YouTube sphere/Yu-Gi-Oh fandom.

I am posting this here for posterity in case all of my other posts elsewhere about it are removed. Also because there has never been a single unified place to find all of this information presented in sequence.

Patrick, also known by his pseudonyms of ShadyVox or Scratch21's Matt Robinson or Blake Swift, spent the better part of 2019-2023 both threatening me and manipulating a group of real victims.

A brief history - for those who don't know, Patrick/ShadyVox and myself were heavily involved in the "abridged series" world in the late 2000s/mid 2010s. I myself started the whole abridged parody nonsense with Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged, and Patrick would follow suit by doing a Yu-Gi-Oh GX Abridged. We met through content creation and formed a friendship through it. Not best friends or anything, but friendly enough.

Patrick would later leave the abridged series stuff behind and start over making music, working in original animation for popular internet channels, etc. Stuff he was genuinely very good at. It was a strong choice to move away from parody content, as it likely would have held him back at some point.

At a certain point in 2018, I received a communication from him that requested I remove certain YouTube comments on my videos that featured him. These comments were demanding to know why Patrick was following various right wing channels and were calling him alt-right, etc.

I agreed to remove the comments because I considered him a friend and automatically assumed there was some big misunderstanding. As it turned out, he was subscribed to a few channels that caused me to confront him.

I was emotional and upset, admittedly. Things politically were at a fever pitch and I had been swept up by it. I have included screencaps of our conversation.

Later I would apologize to him for my outburst and try to make amends. You're probably wondering why I would include this since it doesn't seem to involve Patrick threatening me, and it seems if anything to suggest I got upset at him.

That is because I truly believe this is the moment Patrick decided he was going to find some way to come after me. I believe that Patrick had spent a lot of time creating a mask for himself, and had worn it very well, and the moment someone saw through it for even a moment he decided I had to be dealt with somehow.

At this point - mid 2018 - Patrick and I were not close. We hadn't worked on anything together in half a decade. We really only kept in touch in a cursory fashion. So I imagine this interaction stuck in Patrick's craw something awful.

I was, however, closer with the person Patrick had worked in conjunction with on his abridged series, X. These days X is my best friend. Back then, I don't know how close we were. But definitely closer than either of us were with Patrick.

One day in 2019, entirely out of the blue, Patrick messages me privately to inform me that X once slept with a girl who was 17 when he was in his early 20s.

My own spouse was sexually assaulted before I met them, and as a result I have a no tolerance policy on anything that even could resemble assault. So I immediately ended my friendship with X.

And as I was doing so, Patrick told me repeatedly that I was overreacting.

As you can see, by Patrick/Shady's own words, this was a long time ago. Just under a decade or so, by my count.

And most importantly, Patrick had been aware of this for the whole decade or so and chose this very moment to tell me that this happened.

I want you to keep that in mind, especially the fact that when I said I was ending my friendship with X, Patrick's actual response was "it was a long time ago, he's gotten better."

It was painful to end my friendship with X, but I did. I told him that if he could provide satisfactory proof that what Patrick had said didn't represent the facts of the situation, I could be his friend again. Until then, I cut off all communication from X.

A week or so later I received specific evidence that pointed to a situation wherein Patrick was intentionally misrepresenting what happened, or the alleged victim's story. The alleged victim VERY specifically disagreed with Patrick.

You'll note that I'm not including screen caps of these conversations - that is because the alleged victim, and other involved parties, DO NOT WANT to be part of any of this and have needed actual therapy because of Patrick's behavior in the past. Not just here.

Anyway.

I returned to Patrick/Shady and told him there had been a misunderstanding. I wanted to clear the air and give him a chance to say something along the lines of "oh okay, obviously I had my facts wrong." I mean, as you yourself have just read - he said himself that this was a long time ago. Maybe he got some wires crossed.

This is how Patrick actually responded:

The screenshots were taken on different dates, hence why his twitter icon looks different suddenly.

But yes. His response to me explaining that the alleged victim disagreed with his stance, was to insist that the alleged victim must be lying and that I should be absolutely infuriated.

After he'd tried to tell me that there was no point in being upset about this information that he had sat on for the better part of a decade.

Patrick continued to scream at me via dm, repeatedly requesting that I give him my phone number so we could talk about this. I assume this is because he didn't want any kind of text evidence of what he was going to say to me, or what he was doing.

He would later, mid-conversation, tell me that he was deleting all of his dms to me. Not sure why. It doesn't remove them from my side of the conversation, so I still have access to all of them. I have not shared the entire private message thread yet, because it's sensitive and involves people beyond just myself. But if the dms ever do need to be made public entirely, I have them.

I ended up blocking Patrick during this very conversation because he had begun screaming at me, behaving extremely unhinged and in a frightening manner. I honestly think he had hoped that I would initially try to defend my friend from his accusation, in which case he was going to fly off the handle then. But because I had genuinely believed him and removed my friend from my life, only to then learn Patrick's story didn't hold water, he had no choice but to lash out now. When it didn't make any sense to suddenly be irate about a thing he had told me about, and had literally just said "it was a long time ago."

Within 24 hours, Patrick had sent me a threatening email saying he was going to expose me for everything I was doing. I have attached the highlights of the email, parts that don't involve other people's names.

Some of the references in this email - specifically about how I've associated with others and ignored people calling me out for it - are related to a podcast I was on, alongside Patrick. Until recently I had indeed tried to move on with my life after a number of the people involved had revealed themselves to be toxic. I had made efforts to separate myself from those people. It had been years since I'd really had any direct connection to any of them.

I do indeed regret not speaking out about it sooner.

Having said this, Patrick himself was equally as guilty for not speaking out - and had in fact spent a significantly larger amount of time talking to/working with the people in question.

As such, I believe a lot of this is some form of bizarre projection on his part.

I ignored the email because I was a) worried that he had suddenly snapped, and b) I didn't think any of the content warranted a response.

A day later, I received this email from Patrick where his tone has changed entirely:

As you can see, this is more in line with the reality of the situation. He is apologizing profusely and insisting I didn't actually do anything wrong, and that he was the one in the wrong.

You'll also note that he signs this particular email "Patrick." That is because it is his real name, and I believe he was possibly appealing to my humanity and the part of me that might still have seen a friendship worth salvaging. Otherwise I could not tell you why he signed his real name - he typically hates using it.

I still did not reply because at this point I was confused and scared and wanted him to leave me alone. And to that point, he had specifically stated at the end of his email that he was the problem and he would not "involve himself in my life any longer."

The police were contacted and they told him to stop. I had hoped that my part in all of this was over.

Later that very month, Patrick announced on his ShadyVox twitter account that a new GX Abridged was coming out for April Fools.

When it is posted on April 1st - less than a month after he had sent his email saying he would remove himself from my life, and not long after the police have visited him - the video contains many references to our conversations, and specifically the fact that the police got involved.

Yes, after being told by the police to stop - and after writing an email that insisted he knew he was the real problem and would be getting help - he decides to make a mockery of the situation publicly, in a manner that nobody else will understand. Except the people it is targeting.

The tweets about this video are the only thing remaining on Patrick's twitter account, as he had purged it some time ago.

(An aside - I do recall someone attempting to call Patrick out for being toxic previously on twitter, and his response was to spam them with the words "PROVE IT. PROVE IT. PROVE IT." until they gave up. I would include screenshots of this, but like I said - he purged his entire twitter except for this specific GX Abridged video he'd thrown together in a week to respond to the fact that the authorities had intervened to get him to stop)

One other important element of this video - which is where, I believe, this whole thing veers into genuinely disturbing territory - is that it is interspersed with garbled footage intended to look like some sort of creepypasta/vhs effect. At the end of the GX Abridged video, it is clear that Patrick is using this video to allude to some upcoming song tracks he is producing.

Songs that are tailored to threaten me in cryptic, indirect ways that very few people pick up on.

But I'll get to those later.

During 2019, Patrick reaches out to actual victims of the toxic individuals from the podcast I used to be on more than half a decade before any of the stuff chronologized in this post. He tells them lies, and demonizes me to the point that it convinces them that I am still both defending/supporting the toxic individuals, and actively mocking their victims in private.

I am aware of this because Patrick tweets about it - before deleting the tweets entirely. He even attempts to throw popular abridging group TeamFourStar under the bus, which I assume was merely out of spite because they had absolutely nothing to do with any of this.

I wish I had screengrabbed the tweets when they were still up, but there is still remaining evidence that they did exist.

Here is someone posting on Reddit about it - he only references one tweet, but this was around the time Patrick was posting and then immediately deleting what he'd said. I honestly can only assume - but I think he was fishing for people to latch on to what he was saying and contact him privately.

Not to mention the fact that the police had specifically told him to stop, so that was likely in the back of his mind also.

Here is someone replying to a since suspended twitter account that was discussing what Patrick was saying about TeamFourStar. Obviously I have no clear way to prove it, but please know that I have no reason to make that much up and point to a random ass tweet.

I imagine Patrick (not the suspended person in the above screencap) realized the best way to not seem directly to blame or involved at all was to remove any and all posts he'd made. Admittedly it would have worked if I didn't have the dms and these emails.

Speaking of emails, I received a third one in late 2019 - as you can see, Patrick's promise of leaving me alone forever didn't even last a year.

You'll note that he's speaking as though the second email never even happened. He's also just plain lying through his teeth for a significant part of it, but I think it's most important to note that this email requires you to assume the second email never got written.

He has gone from pages and pages of "of course it wasn't your fault, I'm the problem, you're good, I'm bad" to "I told you..."

Also, I think the words "You tried to damage me" should be highlighted here as it reinforces my theory that all of this was about me insulting him for all the right wing channels he'd subscribed to. Which, to me, was barely even a thought in my mind at this point.

So I choose to ignore this email also. Because y'know, why would I even humor responding to the guy at this point? I decide that I will only speak on any of this if it becomes public conversation. Until then, anything that happens would be because of Patrick's actions.

I do let my friends know about all of this - including TeamFourStar, who through this entire thing have been blameless and didn't even do anything to Patrick to begin with. And every time Patrick does something, I make sure people in my circle are aware and to be cautious.

Meanwhile Patrick alludes to all of this indirectly in the songs he posts to his YouTube channel. Yes, a situation that involves actual victims and one alleged victim that Patrick hadn't spoken to in years. He chose to make reference to all of this in videos where he raps, amongst other things.

There are a number of songs that feature references to this, it's mainly these two that I want to focus on

Birdy Boy is a song that is explicitly referencing Patrick's issues with me, without actually going into any details about what the issue is.

It is so clearly about me that people pick up on it - and rather than confront the issue or have a dialogue, Patrick decides to pin the comment about it to the top of the comments page.

Of course, if Patrick made any attempt to directly describe the issue or explain himself, it would likely result in the police becoming involved once again.

So he sticks to singing about the whole thing.

This next song is the most upsetting one.

Patrick/Shady writes a song called "Joker" about a psychotic individual murdering someone who "used to be funny." This is, specifically, the song that he teases at the end of the GX Abridged Episode 21 video he posted earlier in 2019 for april fools.

He has teased it multiple times on his twitter, and elsewhere, with the words "Coming Soon." The very same words he used to title his third threatening email.

Here is the email, placed next to some lyrics from the song Joker.

He is seemingly very specifically trying to threaten me without anyone noticing, in plain sight. I was unable to watch the video in full until after all of this stuff came out into the public. It was only through reading people's responses and the lyrics that I realized what he was doing.

Again, at this point I am doing and saying nothing publicly. Just watching this behavior and waiting.

Meanwhile in 2021, a videogame based on the web series TOME gets fully funded and Christopher Niosi - the creator of TOME - reaches out to the voice cast to see if they'll return. I myself was the voice of Nylocke, one of the main characters, and Patrick was the voice of THE main character.

As such, I told Christopher no and explained my reasons.

And here is Christopher's response.

Please pay careful attention to the fact that Christopher Niosi flat out says he already knew Patrick was doing this stuff - it isn't just me imagining it.

As a result of this interaction, I do not reprise my role as Nylocke and Christopher Niosi chooses to just recast every single character. Please note that he could have just recast Patrick, but did not. As a result, I feel responsible for all of the original cast losing out on work. It hurts to think about. But at least I feel like I did the right thing.

One member of the TOME production staff takes it upon themselves to reach out to Patrick personally. They discover that he is planning to write more songs/raps that target me. They ask him nicely to stop. He insists that he has to do this. Y'know, make vague allusions to extremely sensitive topics that he lied about in the form of song. Has to do it.

The member of production staff tells Patrick he should seek professional help.

Patrick ignores them.

Patrick continues to engage in behavior that, while not openly hostile or even specifically targeting anyone, is very clearly intended as mockery at best and a threat at worst until 2023 when all of this comes to a head.

In August of 2023, the real victims that Patrick has manipulated make a callout post aimed at myself and TeamFourStar. It specifically cites Patrick's testimony and the songs he has posted. They have been misled, but their anger is understandable.

Within a week, it becomes apparent to all sides that this is Patrick's fault. The person who posted the callout takes it down and apologizes to everyone. Not just me. They apologize to TeamFourStar, and to X.

And only then do I speak publicly about what Patrick has been doing.

I share all of the screencaps I've posted here, and give context. It's all a little muddled as at the time, my cat was dying of terminal cancer and so all of my posts are somewhat scatterbrained and aren't in chronological order. But it's still remarkably clear to everyone that Patrick has manipulated this whole thing, starting in 2019.

And that's only the stuff I feel comfortable sharing.

Since the callout post first dropped in 2023 and I began pointing people's attention toward Patrick, Patrick himself has been entirely silent. He has dropped off the internet with nary a word in defense. Not a single person directly associated with what happened has attempted to dispute my description of events.

This isn't my word versus his. It is my word versus silence.

I have it on good authority that Patrick is alive and well. I am grateful for that much. My attempts have not been to hurt him, but to defend myself. My efforts have not been to hunt him down and crucify him, but to make people aware of what transpired - and what could have easily been undone by Patrick/Shady just choosing to stop.

Instead a number of victims, and people who never did a thing, experienced a considerable amount of trauma as a result of his thoughtless and spiteful actions.

Patrick is a remarkably talented individual, and it makes me sad I have to be the one to show people who he is. I genuinely think all of this could have been avoided. It's so meaningless. It's just pain on top of pain.

And Patrick stood in the center of it all, not just pulling people's strings but practically uprooting them and then acting like he didn't do a thing.

I'm not expecting an apology, and I'm not asking for his cancelation, whatever shape that would take. But I do think it's important that people know this happened, that he chose this.

He did this for almost no reason to a person he considered a friend, who worked on videos with him.

It just seems like the responsible thing, to make sure people are somewhat aware that he could do this to them if they aren't cautious and careful and super aware.

I'm sorry to anyone disappointed and hurt by all of this information.

Believe me, I understand.

[kenconffetti]

💗💅💅

[majin--vegeta]

Throwing it back to the exceptional YGO: Bonds Beyond Time Abridged Movie!

[cringe101]

What Weiss Sees

I normally don't make nor really a fan of Jaune thirst posts, but this just fit so well and I had to make it.

Audio: KNBA (Kuroko no Basket Abridged)

[violitkittin]

The Somewhat Crazed Circus | Road Trip (The Amazing Digital Circus)

[tomatomagica]

it's my partner @charleymarlowe 's birthday!!!!!!!!

i made a cheesecake in their favorite teal color this year ☺🎂

the best present you can give them right now is to watch their Zelda abridged series @wellabridgemeprincess 🥺👉👈 part 1 / part 2

[onestevetogo]

Lord of the Abridged

Frodo - I live with my weird uncle

Sam - I want to pick Rosie’s cotton

Bilbo - I hate my home and everyone in it

Gandalf - Fireworks

Hobbits - We love you Bilbo

Bilbo - I’m out

Gandalf - Bilbo give up your ring

Bilbo - I want my ring

Gandalf - Please

Bilbo - Okay

Frodo - I no longer live with my weird uncle

Gandalf - Omg Bilbo’s ring is evil

Frodo - Take the ring

Gandalf - Nose goes

Frodo - Dang

Gandalf - Bilbo’s ring is evil

Saruman - Let’s make a pact with the devil

Gandalf - Wtf no

Saruman - PAIN!

Frodo - I have the ring

Nazgul - Stabby stabby

Frodo - *Getting stabbed noises*

Aragorn - Oh shit

Sam - Oh shit

Merry - Oh shit

Pippin - Nice crispy bacon

Arwen - Gimme the hobbit

Aragorn - Okay

Nazgul - Gimme the hobbit

Arwen - Water horses

Nazgul - What?

Water horses - Hello

Nazgul - *Drowning noises*

Gandalf - The ring will be safe in Rivendell

Frodo - The ring will be safe in Rivendell

Elrond - The ring cannot stay in Rivendell

Boromir - Gimme the ring

Elrond - The ring must be destroyed

Boromir - Gimme the ring.

Legolas - Aragorn is the true king

Aragorn - Sit your pointy ears down

Boromir - Gimme the ring!

Frodo - I will take the ring

Elrond - I will give this small child thing the ring

Council - …

Gimli - I’m racist

Gandalf - We’re going mountain climbing

Gimli - Let’s take the tunnels

Gandalf - No. I will not elaborate.

Birds - Birds

Gandalf - We’re going extreme mountain climbing

Saruman - PAIN!

Frodo - Hey let’s take the tunnels

Gandalf - Good idea

Gimli - Wtf

Gandalf - Let us in

Secret Door - No

Frodo - We’re totally friends

Secret Door - Oh cool

Gimli - Omg my friends are dead

Squid monster - Ara ara

Frodo - Oh shit

Sam - Oh shit

Aragorn - Oh shit

Pippin - Nice crispy bacon

Gimli - My family is dead

Pippin - Lol bucket

Orcs - We heard a bucket

Aragorn - Oh shit

Legolas - Oh shit

Troll - Stabby stabby

Frodo - *Getting stabbed noises*

Sam - Oh shit

Merry - Oh shit

Pippin - I lost my bucket

Frodo - Just kidding

Gimli - Mithril

Gandalf - Mithrilled

Orcs - Die

Balrog - Die

Gandalf - YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

Balrog - Let’s go spelunking

Gandalf - I’ve fallen and I can’t get up

Frodo - Oh shit

Aragorn - Oh shit

Sam - Oh shit

Pippin - Lol

Galadriel - I am somehow more frightening than the literal devil in this movie

Boromir - *freaking out*

Aragorn - *freaking out*

Legolas - *freaking out*

Frodo - I completely trust this person

Galadriel - I almost became the main villain in this movie but it’s cool.

Boromir - Gimme the ring

Frodo - No

Boromir - Gimme the ring

Frodo - No

Boromir - Please gimme the ring

Frodo - No

Boromir - I’ll take the ring

Frodo - I’m out

Orcs - Sup

Boromir - gimme the-

Orcs - Arrow

Boromir - I am defeated

Merry - Oh shit

Pippin - *imitates a backpack*

Frodo - I’m out

Sam - I will literally drown rather than leave you

Frodo - oeugh Sam!

Legolas - They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard!

Gimli - I give up

Aragorn - giving up is for losers

Gimli - I’m not a loser

Fellowship -…

Gimli - But I am still racist

Credits

[bobauthorman]

Team RWBY is preparing to investigate the White Fang and Torchwick

Ruby: Blake, if you don't mind me asking, what are we in for? Blake: You ever watch Power Rangers? Ruby: No. Blake: Ninja Turtles? Ruby: No. Blake: Sailor Moon? Ruby: No. Blake: Beetleborgs? Ruby: No. Blake: VR Troopers? Ruby: No. Blake: Samurai Syber-Squad? Ruby: No. Blake: ...Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills?  Ruby: Oh yeah! Blake: Goddamn it!

[maramooox]

HEY GUYS! The first episode to our DANDADAN abridged is out, please please show us some support so we can keep making these! :D subs and views help!!!

[wronghands1]

[devi-nova]

sword art online abridged honestly has better writing than any currently airing tv show anywhere i will die on this fucking hill, watch it right now, do it instantly, the newest episode stabbed me 87 times in the stomach, why do episodes take a year to make please god this cliffhanger is insane

[ominus-potato]

It would not be a Hellsing AU without a reference to Hellsing Abridged!

Many way here’s AU Pomni saying the most iconic abridged line.

[skill7spark04]

The Halo Bible Abridged:

Here's the entire halo bible abridged: "the precursors invent all life in the universe because "we bored lol" and thus life evolves and exists. from these lifeforms sprout the forerunners, who are big simps over the precursors, wanting to also become god. Then, while nothing interesting happens in the universe, humanity evolves into existence, expanding faster than their big forerunner brother. They are more chill and kind and less childish and fanboying than the forerunners. This will be important later. Eventually, the precursors want to retire from being gods, so they all hold a vote on whether humanity or forerunners get the mantle of responsibility (literally godhood). humanity wins unanimously, cause no one likes a kiss-ass, and the forerunners throw a tantrum about it, eventually murdering the Precursors. (meanwhile humanity: "OOH! SPACE DOG!") humanity eventually asks where god went and the forerunners said they left to get milk, and left them in charge of the godhood. humanity was distraught by this news, knowing what getting the milk means. Meanwhile the primordial, the last precursor, malds and seethes for so long that they catch fire and burn to death, creating what would be come to know as cocaine. Humans discover this strange substance and their dog IMMEDIATELY sniffed it.

 because it made their dogs virtually immortal, they proceed to administer this to all the space dogs. Then, a week later, all the dogs get sick at the same time, and turn into gross zombies that then start the walking dead in space. humanity successfully ALMOST contains the flood, but then they shoot an infected forerunner ship. This causes the Didact to blow a fuse and mald so hard he has no hairs left. The forerunners, being petty children, proceed to nuke humanity back to the stone age. literally. Then the Didact proceeds to turn most of them into e-boys, until his wife stops him with the master ball, and then locks him in the pc with her shiny gyarados and green mewtwo. The forerunners, completely lost without their general, get their shit rocked by space zombies, who also convinces their robots that murder is ok using a brand new tactic never seen before: GASLIGHTING! The forerunners start losing so bad, they decide if they can't live, no one can. so they put all living creatures in giant freezers, (including the flood, stupidly,) and set the microwave to defrost in 30 billion years, before creating giant rings to divorce the galaxy from life. this starves all the space zombies, (except the ones in their emergency meat locker) and save the galaxy. eventually, life thaws out and humanity evolves for the 3rd time ever, and then the events of the books and the games and terminals happen. that is the halo bible, abridged by yours truly."

[nullbutler]

new parody just dropped!!! As in, an all original take on the belovedly confusing Black Butler Actors OVA: what ACTUALLY happened behind the set >:)

Thank you everyone who helped me voice act!!! @weeb-cheese @fayt30l0v3 @indigoipsum @trancyhive and @sneebnationalism!!