#(QUITE A FEW OF THEM WOULD PROBABLY BE INCORPORATED INTO THIS TOO SOMEHOW)

[asterafroditis]

hello hello !! i was wondering if you could write the dormleaders with a sally williams reader? platonic of course. thank you (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

𐔌 . ⋮ lost yet found .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

☓┆Platonic Housewardens x Sally Williams gn! reader

𓏵 1328 words

ᝰ.ᐟ headcanons, no pronouns used, fluff overall, slight angst in Idia's part

this ask reawakened some very deep creepypasta memories (´Ａ｀。) feel free to like, reblog, or comment!

ᝰ.ᐟ masterlist

At first, Riddle doesn’t quite know how to handle you. You’re a ghost, which isn’t unusual in Twisted Wonderland, but you act like a child—and one with a tragic past at that. He doesn’t exactly dislike children, but he struggles with how to interact with you.

He’s strict but not unkind. If you float through walls to avoid following school rules, he will call you out on it.

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”

Despite his firm nature, he does have a soft spot for you, especially when you show him kindness. He notices how you latch onto people who make you feel safe and, in his own way, tries to be one of them.

If anyone disrespects you, he won’t hesitate to put them in their place.

“Regardless of their form, they are still a student of Night Raven College, and they will be treated as such.”

If you ever express sadness over your past, he gets uncharacteristically quiet. He understands strict upbringings and loneliness, though his circumstances were vastly different. He won’t pry, but if you ever need someone to confide in, he will listen.

─────────────────────────

Annoying ghost kid. That’s Leona's first impression of you. You’re small, floaty, and far too energetic for his liking. He thinks you’re like a stray cat that decided to hang around just to bother him.

He’s not the best with children (referring to Cheka, maybe you'll get along with him better), but you grow on him. Unlike others, you aren’t afraid of him, and somehow that’s both irritating and oddly refreshing.

If you ever get too talkative while he’s trying to nap, he’ll literally phase through you like it’s nothing.

“Tch. You’re not even solid, so why are you still loud?”

Despite his lazy demeanor, if anyone tries to mess with you—especially taking advantage of your past—Leona will step in without hesitation. He doesn’t tolerate bullies.

If you ever seem lost in thought or sad, he won’t ask about it, but he’ll wordlessly let you linger nearby. Sometimes, you’ll just sit in comfortable silence, and that’s enough.

─────────────────────────

At first, Azul is cautious around you. A ghostly child with a tragic past? He assumes there’s more to you than meets the eye. Are you like a vengeful spirit? Do you have some hidden power? He watches you carefully.

Once he realizes that, despite your past, you’re not particularly malicious, he relaxes—well, as much as Azul can relax. He treats you with the same respect he would any potential business partner.

“You may be incorporeal, but even ghosts have needs, don’t they? Let’s talk business.”

He absolutely tries to figure out if you’d have any use for a contract. (Jade subtly reminds him that ghosts probably don’t need wealth.)

If you ever express deep sadness, Azul awkwardly tries to comfort you, though his words are more businesslike than emotional.

“It’s only natural to have regrets, but that doesn’t mean you have to be bound by them.” It’s his way of trying to help.

You catch onto his insecurities quickly, and instead of using them against him, you simply understand. It unnerves him at first, but he slowly grows to appreciate your company.

─────────────────────────

Oh, Kalim just loves you immediately. He has such a big heart, and the moment he learns about your past, he wants to make you as happy as possible.

He doesn’t treat you like a tragic figure; he treats you like a friend.

“You’re here now, and that means we should have fun, right?”

He invites you to everything—feasts, parties, even just casual walks.

He’s one of the few who doesn’t get unnerved when you phase through walls or suddenly appear beside him. If anything, he thinks it’s amazing.

“Whoa! Can you teach me how to do that?”

If he ever notices you getting sad, he immediately tries to cheer you up. Sometimes, his excitement is overwhelming, but you know it comes from a place of genuine care.

“You deserve to have happy memories, too! So let’s make some!”

─────────────────────────

At first, Vil is skeptical of you. He doesn’t fear ghosts, but he’s aware of how they can carry baggage—both literally and metaphorically. He doesn’t like unpredictability.

However, once he realizes you aren’t malicious or seeking revenge, he treats you with measured kindness.

“Tragedy may shape you, but it doesn’t have to define you. Remember that.”

He makes sure you take care of yourself, even if you are a ghost.

“Even spirits should maintain their appearance. No excuses.”

He’ll fuss over you if he notices you looking particularly down.

He admires your resilience. He won’t coddle you, but he will encourage you to stand tall. He believes in facing the past with dignity, and if you ever feel overwhelmed, he’ll remind you that you are more than what happened to you.

If anyone disrespects you, Vil is absolutely ruthless.

“Pathetic. To belittle someone for their past instead of focusing on their present? How unworthy.”

─────────────────────────

Unlike most people, Idia doesn’t react with fear when he first meets you. Instead, he just stares at you for a long moment before muttering,

“Huh. That’s… different.”

He’s not unfamiliar with spirits, considering STYX’s work with phantoms, but you’re not like the blot-ridden wraiths he’s studied. You’re lucid, aware, and… childlike. It throws him off.

He doesn’t treat you like something scary or even supernatural—if anything, he treats you with casual acceptance, like, “Yeah, makes sense. Of course we have a ghost kid in NRC. Why wouldn’t we?”

The way you hover near people, looking for connection, reminds him a little too much of Ortho—the real one, the one he lost. He never brings it up, but sometimes, when you talk about wanting to be remembered, his fingers tighten over his tablet just slightly.

He won’t say it outright, but he understands you better than most. The feeling of being caught between the past and the present? Of being something that shouldn’t exist but still does? Yeah. He gets that.

He lets you hang around his room, sometimes showing you games or tech he’s working on.

“If you’re gonna haunt someone, might as well be the guy with the best setup.”

It’s his weird way of saying he doesn’t mind your presence.

If you ever get lost in your grief, he won’t push you to talk, but he’ll keep the lights on, the monitors running, and the door unlocked. He knows what it’s like to have a past that won’t let go, and while he can’t change yours, he can at least make sure you don’t have to sit in the dark alone.

─────────────────────────

You being a ghost? Malleus doesn’t find that strange at all. You appearing out of nowhere? Again, completely normal for him. In fact, he finds your presence rather refreshing.

Malleus sees you as something of a kindred spirit. Both of you are isolated in your own ways, and despite your past, you continue to exist. He respects that.

He enjoys your company, especially on quiet nights.

“You do not fear me, and I do not fear you. That is rare in itself.”

If you ever open up about your past, he listens with the patience of someone who has lived far too long. He does not pity you, nor does he try to fix you. Instead, he simply acknowledges your pain and reminds you that you are not alone.

If anyone dares to hurt you, they are done. No questions, no second chances.

“To harm one who has already suffered is the mark of a coward.”

[cogneartive]

my baskerville docs ^_^ ive seen alot of other people make their own lady baskerville and i wanted to try and have my own take on her yay. somehow i have settled on calling her liz, but i change my mind quite often so we'll see

more notes and further rambles below (LONG)

unfortunately i seem to be under a curse where i may only give out information through vague references and riddles + also thoughts jumping from one to another. have fun 👍take out a notebook it gets quite long. ive put down some section titles

naming ideas

for her name: i like how its has some phonetic similarities to iris. and i dont believe at all that yujin didnt know her; in japanese, 'l' and 'r' sounds are not distinguished in the same was as english thus: "liz, risu, airisu, iris... (ayame... ayame.) airisu... risu. liz."

but also her fanon - as in the common elements people have in their designs of lady b - designs look just like alot of the fanon designs for minecraft youtuber ldshadowlady. im having a lot of fun thinking about putting them in the life series.... boogieman curse.... the dogs.

this influences me quite a bit i think. primarily, how i characterise klint and liz is influenced by alot of gothic texts (and castlevania...........) as well as other people's interpretations of her. however they are are also lizzie and joel. and you are required to know this

talking about shapes (character design stuffs)

im kinda also working out klint and barok in context of my headcanons/takes. i think, with the design philosophy im carrying rn, i would draw them a little differently to emphasise the certain themes in my head lol. i gotta figure out some kinda shape motif for lady b tbh i dont really have too clear of an idea yet. at first, i thought a heart would be nice (connection with iris - i think a few other people have done so as well) but then The Spiral

ive been thinking of labyrinths quite often lately (house of leaves.) i like the symbolism of her spiraling down into some kind of madness / depravity as is the van zieks way. klint's sword points down to show the same thing. kid barok's hair goes upward. he look up to them. cute. this whole family is literally cursed

writing and truth

ive said this in some earlier posts somewheres but basically my main ideas for her are that

she and klint are trying not to become the sins of their parents. they succeed. but also fail.

barok is motivated by his sense of justice in the pursuit of truth. klint is the sense of justice. thus liz is the pursuit of truth

and ive landed on her being quite into writing. nothing ever published i think, but many volumes of poetry, short fiction and maybe even novels, with her favourite red ink pen. the same color ink that she used to write love letters with.

these works were probably things that she only shows to people close to her. and id think the subject matter would be something close to jane austen's work (critical of the landed gentry; she also published anonymously under the name 'a lady' -> i thought there was something in there about how lady b remains nameless and only a lady)

i think her writing would be a way to channel her frustration, anger, misery, and other such unladylike thoughts. perhaps, in childhood, she would have liked being a newswriter - until she finds out how sensationalized they are (and how would she feel when the news would start calling barok the reaper?)

i havent found a good way to incorporate this into her design yet. i was thinking something about the cape - hiding secret pockets and a notebook and pen? something about gender roles can play in there as well - but it looked too much like stronghart's silhouette imo. replacing barok's father figure while dressing like his mother would be crazy... and there is the swirls. im not too completely against that idea yet. think i gotta keep experimenting

resemblances

but anyways, i really do like the idea that she and klint look like they could be barok's parents. i think its fucked up (good). the gothic is all about how ur repressing somethings and it keeps coming out, and i kind of like themes of finding out the parent that you idolised isnt actually as good as you once thought they were.

you know about klint. and liz hates lying. but she is also just as great as a liar. she despises the social structures of upper class england, but she is just as wiling to maintain a facade, and has so much hatred that she hides. despite hating to hear it, she's really nosey - does she LIKE hearing about all those reprehensible things she claims to abhor? why else would they all appear in those stories she writes? and why else are all her protagonists such unreliable liars?

i think barok would grow up trying to model all the good that liz and klint try to project. hed probably thinks they would hate him after all that. maybe its comforting to know they also fell too. perhaps they would forgive him too.

i think thats all that i wanted to say. you will be hearing from me again, however. yay

[caldera1000-7]

Upcoming looong post about analyzing Akutagawa's character song (even though it was made around over 7 years ago I will incorporate things into the arcs after then by a bit but not entirely since his mindset back then was different too but its interesting either way.) Here I will just send a few images that seem to fit with the song.

Somehow Kensho Ono (Akutagawa's Japanese Voice Actor) managed to make the song sound dark, but also strangely...peaceful? But also throughout the song somehow powerful aswell, I think it fits Akutagawa's willpower and how he finds something to drive him forward no matter what, despite his illness, despite his "weakness", he always will push through for a goal, to give meaning to his life, or even to die in peace knowing he's received the words he worked and suffered years just to hear from someone who betrayed/escaped the very organisation he brought Akutagawa to, while possibly seeing himself back then in the PM in Akutagawa and still leaving him there without a word and without even fulfilling the promise of helping him to have a meaningful life or even giving him the words he hoped to hear. Now it makes sense and all later on or after that how Dazai keeps him at an arms length while Dazai is at the ADA and using both Akutagawa and Atsushi in his plans and to make them develop off of each other and some people had the view Akutagawa would just kill himself after Dazai gave him recognition saying its the reason Akutagawa lives but I don't think so.... More like if he were to die he'd die in peace, and probably latch onto something else to work toward as he tries to understand life and the people in it. In the song he mentions a longing as strong as a reason to live it doesn't show or say that Dazais recognition/praise IS his reason to live but its a desire so strong of his that has just been fueled with Dazai calling Atsushi better than him that it might aswell be.

People tend to forget Akutagawa quite hated (Probably still does or dislikes him for things) and wanted to first kill everyone close to him for being a traitor then kill Dazai with physical force if you remember what was all said in this scene thats often overlooked for Akutagawa snapping at Dazai calling his new boy better than him and causing Akutagawa to actually fixate on Atsushi or being better than him and getting strong enough to get what Atsushi gets from Dazai with minimal effort which Akutagawa spend his whole life working for.

And how Akutagawa even after Dazai once said he's gotten "stronger" still couldn't "move forward" until he kills Atsushi. This weak boy who was seemingly just granted everything, a different outcome of the same harmed boy in a way. And a flipped mirror image of Akutagawa. Which is why Akutagawa understanding Atsushi and others really would shape his view on the world, and theres a post I look forward to making in the future talking about how Akutagawas views on Atsushi would also impact his own views on himself. If he still considered himself weak and after learning to value the life of the weak he learned have no place in the world or right to breathe (he was threatened to be sent back to the slums whenever he didn't do things the way they were supposed to be done.)

I'll never get over Atsushi's assumptions as well as many other characters' assumptions of him... But it is true he kills whomever is in front of him if they're in his way. I guess its part of him discovering true strength isn't through his ability but has to be through his heart aswell.

Anyways those are a few images and some things I felt like saying before finishing and posting the very long Analysis. I have many ideas and things to talk about with Akutagawa even after that....

[letstalkalatte]

woe is she (?) | josh beaman x f!reader

Summary: josh is determined to make his meet cute happen for real, even if it takes him having to guide you towards it. he's a nice guy, he promises. he'd never do the same to you, won't you give him a chance?

Content tags + warnings: SMUT (18+) nice guy!josh, dude's horny, some stalkerish tendences, obvious pervbrain, language, p in v and implied breeding kink left up to interpretation.

Note: For me, 7.1k words is hefty, lol. I did something a little different, as this starts from third person and transitions to second person pov a couple of times, btw. It's just cuz it seemed to work out in my mind if I wrote some of it through Josh's perspective. I thought I was being clever with the title, double meaning because reader's about to get wrapped up with this toxic guy, while he's got himself asking who she is and where's she been his whole life. So yeah, not sure how it got so long, but while I know most of the audience hates josh, I hate him too, but in a different (affectionate) way. Maybe one day I'll incorporate movie!canon, but for now have this. Since I posted two fics today, that means I'll disappear for at least a week now right??

If he had blinked, he would have missed her entirely it almost seemed like. He's never seen this girl around. Not that he could be found often at arcades, and not that it was a foreign thing for women to be found there either.

Then again, she caught his attention. Was she just waiting for a guy to approach her? Usually, a girl could be found with her arm wrapped around someone else, like they were on some date. Then again, as he briefly scanned the area, it didn't seem like anyone else had taken note of her. Almost like she was in her own little bubble. The urge to make his way past it seemed to grow as he watched her play at one of the arcade tables, again by herself. There hadn't seem to be any indication she was there with anyone else.

Just then, she brushed past someone on her way to another section of the arcade, and she smiled apologetically, mouthing the word "Sorry," in the drumming noise of all the clinks, and other loud noises that drowned her voice out.

Josh noticed it, and it gave him the idea that maybe he could bump into her somehow, if he could at least discreetly make his way over.

The way her hair fell down the sides of her face loosely, even with the majority of her hair up, as she seemed to be really into what she was playing. Some fighting game, he reasoned, one that he actually did like playing himself. He was just a few games away from her, but he hadn't quite figured out how to try to join.

What kind of excuse could he possibly come up with? Should he use some one-liner? That'd probably be a bad idea. The stranger to a budding romance pipeline was not something he felt confident to initiate. He already had his run in with online dating apps, those never seemed to go anywhere. Infact, he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up when amongst the countless chats, one of them successfully turned into a first date. Never went past that though.

For the course of about an hour passed, and Josh hadn't seemed any more confident as he was too busy arguing with himself internally. Yet, he still found himself stealing glances at her, and he could have sworn just once she met his eyes for a split second, but it could have easily been the claw machine games he was lingering around.

After some time, she made her way out of the arcade, and within moments the car started and she was gone. He exited as well, as he kicked at the ground, muttering some curse to himself since he couldn't come up with an in to a conversation. And he likely wasn't going to see this girl again.

It was a few weeks later, and Josh had felt particularly exasperated from a particular shift that nearly had him walking out in the middle of it. He leaned back into the headrest in the driver's seat as he shut his eyes, breathing deeply as he attempted to ground himself. Sighing, he glanced at the digital clock in the middle of the car-- it was a few minutes shy of 6PM. His fingers methodically tapped onto the steering wheel as he considered going straight home or not.

He finally decided to hit the arcade that was near his workplace, maybe he'd blow off some steam and zone out simultaneously. After paying at the counter for entry, he looked around aimlessly as he settled on playing a racing game by himself.

It was looking a little sparse tonight, which could be that typical Wednesday spell. He didn't pay it much mind, even though the place boomed with noise and sounds, it was almost oddly comforting; maybe for the time he could drown out the inexplicable loneliness he felt.

And, despite the somewhat stimulating actions of driving an indestructible car through a fictional city, leaving an aftermath he didn't have to take responsibility for got tiring after a few minutes.

He wandered for a bit as he walked through the other rooms of the arcade, not seeming particularly set on any single game. Though, he'd listlessly play around with some of the cabinets, walking right back to the center of the arcade again. That's when he spotted a familiar figure, and he felt himself swallow, taking in her form as she sat at one of the tables by herself.

When had she walked in? And how long had she been there? It was almost like she was a phantom, perhaps just making an appearance just to spite him, only to throw him off kilter. How could someone that didn't know he existed cause such a stir? He hadn't even had a conversation or proper introduction with her.

You were sitting by yourself, looking at your phone with somewhat disinterest, the pink neon lights shining across your face, as you were none the wiser to being watched by anyone.

Josh noticed that you looked a bit more dressed up this time-- it was unmistakably you, that mystery girl who caught his eye last time.

Yet, as the minutes passed, you were typing away on the phone now, your legs crossed over each other as you seemed a bit frustrated, your eyebrows furrowed so hard till they were nearly meeting.

Josh cautioned that he would situate himself closer to you, making his way to play one of the games that was closest to you. He tried his damndest to put on as stoic of a face as possible, so as not to elicit any suspicion. He wasn't even trying to play at this point; the incessant game over noises seeming to catch your attention.

You glanced up from your phone, seeing a guy a mere few feet away from you, as you noted his collared shirt and his black work slacks. Just as quick as you looked over, you were again absorbed in your phone.

Thoroughly annoyed, you closed your messages app and stuffed your phone right back into the pocket of your jacket. You gave way to a sigh and hopped off the bar height chair, as you walked off in the opposite direction from where Josh stood.

He noticed this right away, as his eyes wavered over to the sound of the chair as his hands froze from both the joystick and buttons he was pretending to be involved with.

Josh paced himself before following suit-- it's not like you could blend in since it was relatively deserted save for a few others scattered around the area. You were next found playing one of those rhythm games, the ones where you'd tap and use a separate control for directional outputs, an upbeat and electronic song played. Sounded Japanese? Josh noted as he'd gotten closer, playing at one of the cabinets that was situated directly behind you.

After a few songs, you backed up and turned around, and you nearly bumped right into someone. Your eyes widened as you looked up at the guy, and you mumbled a sorry, to which he seemed to not be bothered by at all.

"Yeah, no worries--" he started. But the moment was so brief, he didn't have any chance of making a conversation. Not with how you walked right back to that same vacant table.

As you sat there, it was just painfully obvious you must have been waiting on someone, especially with the way your eyes seemed to be stuck on your phone.

After some time, it was plain as day how you seemed to be moping. But you made your way over to the quarter exchange machine, trying to stuff a five dollar bill in for the umpteenth time, having lost count at this point. You sighed and retreated to your wallet, turning around as you heard someone clear their throat.

"Sorry, didn't mean to hold up the line." you half smiled, glancing towards the same guy from earlier.

"Let me," he said, handing you another five in exchange, one that looked in better condition than yours.

"Thanks." you said carefully, handing him the bill that had given you enough trouble.

"No problem." he replied, his lips slipping into a small smile.

The coins spilled out into the little tray, as you cupped them into your hand. "Just wanted to see if I could at least win something over there." you nudged your head into the direction of the claw machines.

"You mind if I watch?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow as he walked with you.

"Sure, as long as you promise not to laugh. Five tries are usually never enough to win something." you replied, the dry tone not escaping his notice.

He hummed and leaned by on one of the other machines as he watched you. Your eyes were calculated as you carefully managed the knob, trying to zone in on a plush toy that seemed like an easier catch. Your first try was unsuccessful, though you didn't give up. You quickly threw in your next four quarters, as you tried the same pile again as you were intent that you'd win something if you were stubborn enough.

Unfortunately, you bit back your lower lip fully, feeling so frustrated as you then looked back at him. He looked back and started towards the wallet in his pocket. "I've got another five…" he offered.

Wordlessly, you gave him a smile, as you thankfully took the bill from him. So again, you came back for five more rounds. Hoping you'd get something this time. And you did after a couple of tries! It was a small plush puppy keychain, and you nearly squealed, though you wanted to conceal your excitement.

"Here, I wouldn't want to waste anymore of your money." you laughed, handing him the rest of the quarters. "At least, I got this. Wasn't a total waste tonight, I guess."

He didn't think before asking, it just seemed to come out, "Why would tonight be a waste?"

"It's…not even important." Your eyebrows raised together as you shrugged your shoulders.

"Is there anything I can do?" he suggested, his smile seeming to catch your attention.

You cleared your throat. "Well, I dunno. I'm kinda feeling nachos, actually." you admitted.

"Oh, I mean… yeah, sure. I can get some for us, if you want."

"Not from here, who buys nachos at an arcade?" you laughed.

He stopped in his tracks from fetching his wallet as he mimicked the absurdity of his suggestion, laughing as well. "From where then?"

"There's a truck in the next parking lot over, if you're feeling adventurous. It's not bad, better than here, at least."

"Sure," he laughed. "Lead the way."

You both were now leaning against the driver's side of your car, holding the foam container as you ate a few chips, passing it to him as you both shared the plate.

"So, probably a stupid question… but do you come here often?" he asked, trying to subtly nudge you towards confiding why you were here tonight. Just for the sake of getting to the bottom of why you seemed distraught. He wanted to know if his suspicions were anywhere close.

"Not really. But it's preferable over a bar, I guess." you shrugged. "A lot less weirdos approach you here. Everyone's kind of doing their own thing, which is kinda nice."

"Well, you wouldn't classify me as a weirdo, right?" he laughed, looking over to read your expression. Classic validation tactic, whether he'd acknowledge it himself or not, that's definitely what he was doing by putting you on the spot.

"Ehhhh." you started, swaying your hand which gave an indefinite answer.

"Okay that's uncalled for." he rolled his eyes. "So come on, just tell me: what happened tonight? You look upset."

"Well, if you're so curious, I was…" your voice came out in a drawl, pacing yourself, "…stood up. We were supposed to meet a couple of hours ago. He never came, and instead gave me some lame-ass excuse." you sighed, looking back at Josh, signaling him to pass the nachos back to you.

"Sounds like a total asshole." he said, a mouth full of chips as he didn't wait to reply.

"Y'know, it's funny how people try to hide what they are, but they always end up revealing themselves at some point." you remarked, as you carefully took a chip, though it was covered in cheese, leaving you to lick your fingers after.

Josh seemed kind of quiet, as he must have been in thought or was trying to formulate some kind of sympathetic response.

The way the crickets chirped, as a soft breeze blew, and with a few cars driving down the street, it just felt like an abnormal amount of pause before you next spoke. Just realizing how you were basically just chilling outside with some stranger at this point. How pathetic did that make you seem?

You looked back at him, "Anyway, I should probably get going…I guess. Thanks for keeping me company." You paused, looking at the container in his hand, "And for the nachos."

Josh smiled, swallowing the lump in his throat, as he realized you were all too eager to take your leave. Was it the fact that you were probably embarrassed? "Maybe, I shouldn't ask… but can I give you my number?"

"Sure, but I'm not promising anything." You sighed, but you seemed flattered regardless. He was pretty cute, you had noticed, which unfortunately for you-- your eyes and heart haven't always been the best judge.

He uncrumpled a receipt he shoved into his pocket from earlier today, and you lent him a pen from your purse. Maybe, he seemed desperate, but regardless you didn't say no. That must mean something, he reasoned.

"Hmm, cute." you said, looking over at the piece of paper. "Thanks for the autograph." You slipped the receipt into your purse. He noticed you didn't enter his number into your phone, as much as he would've liked to see some kind of promise from the interaction. He wanted to have some hope, but he figured he should dismiss it, despite the action kind of discouraging him.

Then again, that old adage echoed in his mind that, you miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take.

That night, he waited for your text, but it never came. Infact, you didn't even text him the next day. What kind of psychological warfare seemed to be among most people in the dating pool? Was it something about him in particular that just drove others away? He couldn't seem to figure out the method, or secret like everyone else seemed to have.

Josh was just killing time, really. As he sipped his soda, walking aimlessly inside of the mall. That's when he stopped dead in his tracks, his vision zeroing in through the windows of a particular shop.

There she was, her face held this calmness, as she laid the shirt over herself, folding it back to its original shape. He looked at the wire she had trailing down to her hip, and how it was connected to the earpiece she was wearing. She was on the clock-- she worked here?

He tossed his drink in the trash receptacle close by, and casually, he walked into the store. Still in the middle of mentally arguing with himself, he hadn't decided if he wanted to just approach her or just let her notice him first.

Suddenly, he was struck with a sense of deja vu. He was doing this shtick again. It wasn't his fault she kept finding herself around him, like it was for a reason. Finally, he decided on the latter, as he wandered closeby. To pretend like he was shopping, he gently slid the hangers across the bar as he snuck a few looks at her again. He noted the mess on the display table she was sorting through. Tedious.

He noticed the eyeshadow that complemented her; the way her lashes seem to gently dust her skin as they fluttered, looking from one piece of clothing to the other. She resumed the long-winded task like it was the most normal thing in the world. His eyes drifted to her hands, imagining how they might feel around his own.

Snapped from his thoughts, he turned toward the direction of a voice that had asked him something; what it was he hadn't even heard.

"Sir, is there anything I can help you find? Are you finding everything okay?" she asked.

He looked at the employee, almost bewildered, since he just remembered he hadn't actually entered the store to purchase anything. "Yeah, everything's good, thanks." he grimaced, almost looking disappointed at having been interrupted.

"Well, let us know if there's anything you need. We've got a buy two, get one half off on our summer apparel. And it's mix and match." she continued the usual scripted greeting.

"Oh okay, thanks, good to know." he said, forcing as polite of a smile as he could.

She walked off into another direction, likely to check in on another customer.

You were almost finished with getting the display table back to presentable. For some reason you felt a sudden gnawing to look up and as your eyes fell straight across, you noticed that guy from the arcade a few nights ago… what's his… Josh?

He was just carding through a rack of men's shirts, and it took you a moment before you decided that you'd just greet him at least. As awkward as that may turn out, so you decided to walk over.

"Hey, what brings you in here?" you smiled, acknowledging his presence. That might be a good sign, but he still never got a text or call from you yet.

He quirked his mouth to the side, as he looked up and met your eyes, speaking your name like a question. Acting as if he had no idea he just walked into your workplace. "Yeah, I'unno, was kind of thinking of getting something for the summer."

"Well, I'd offer the whole spiel, but you probably already saw the signs all over the store." you shrugged.

"Yeah, hard to miss, honestly." he laughed, just nodding awkwardly as he kept his eyes trained on yours.

It kind of seemed intense in a way-- with your first meeting seeming to echo in your mind, remembering that there was some kind of flirting, but the timing was insanely awful. It was the last thing you'd want, to seem like someone who pathetically waited on someone who was clearly not interested. Talk about first impressions…

You scratched at your arm, as you just kind of simpered at the prolonged pause, and somewhat nervous glances. You suddenly cleared your throat.

"You're not, like, stalking me are you?" you laughed. You kind of knew it was a preposterous thing to even consider, but maybe not entirely.

His face fell just slightly, as his lips faltered into what you could only presume was a frown, or something like it. "What? Can't a guy shop in the city he lives in?"

"Come on, Josh, I was just kidding." you mused.

Josh's shoulders felt a bit less tense now, loosening up as he realized you were just being sarcastic. And that you actually remembered his name. "Yeah, o'course. I knew that."

"Look," you slowly started. "I'm about to head to lunch. Did you want to join me maybe?"

"Are you asking a customer out?" he asked, pointing to himself with a feigned look of shock. "Kind of sounds like you might be disregarding your store's policy."

You could only stare him down, not entirely sure if you were digging the teasing or not. As you bit the bottom corner of your lip, thinking just how you were about to fire back. "Very funny."

You held onto the mic button on the cord, your eyes still set on him as you shook your head. "Hey, Maria, I'm taking my half hour."

Josh had this almost smug smile inching up his face, as he waited for you to finish your exchange.

"I mean, if you want to just be a customer, I'm obligated to offer you our credit card, you know." you sighed. You walked away and he followed, as you then removed the earpiece, tucking the device back behind a nearby counter.

"That's okay too, if it means I get to talk to you longer." he quickly shot back. "But if I signed up for one, what kind of perks do I get?"

"Alright, well starting now, you've got like, 29 minutes and some change." you laughed, ignoring his other comment.

You both walked out in the direction of the food court, and you quickly agreed to just order a couple of smoothies.

"I'm not super hungry today." you offered casually. "So. How's your day been?"

"Nothing exciting. Just a couple of errands earlier. But I doubt you'd want to hear about that."

"That's fine, boring's good too." you said. You took a seat by one of the small tables, as he sat on the other end.

Josh decided he would change the subject, and as much as he wanted to bring up the fact that you two weren't talking over the phone yet, he reluctantly practiced some self-restraint. Amazingly.

"So, uh. How long have you been working there?" he asked, looking over towards the direction of the clothing store.

"Like, a couple of months now. It's just for some extra cash, I'm working another part time job right now." you admitted, sounding a bit unexcited about the topic. You swirled your smoothie with the straw before you took a first sip.

"Hm, I get that." he replied. His hands were on his thighs, as he ran them back and forth for a moment. You hadn't caught onto that yet, but he knew it was one of his nervous tells, as he wasn't always the best at conversation.

"Yeah, so. You're probably wondering why I haven't texted you." you said suddenly.

"Yeah, it's almost like… you might have a particular sequence of numbers, that you could use… to get ahold of me." he said, almost sounding kind of dry, but you chocked it up to him being playful.

"Josh. Come on." you kind of glared, as you narrowed your eyes at him. "Look, I… don't really like what you saw last time. And, if I'm being honest… I'm kind of shit about these things."

"About what exactly?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"I'm pretty private, and I don't usually move outside of my comfort zone socially very often." you were gesturing with your hand, as you talked. It was just something you did naturally, you didn't always realize you were doing it. "And like, on the insistence of one of my friends, I thought 'hey, maybe it's not such a bad idea.'"

He listened intently, as you waited for you to continue before he'd speak again.

"So, I am not used to… finalizing plans mutually, only to get a text about how he had a family emergency. And then, that same friend who set us up, sent me a vid he posted on his insta story or whatever. That he was out with some other girl." you admitted sourly.

"Well, that's… terrible." he said, looking upset about it as well.

"I mean. He could have just been upfront with me. It would have been less hurtful, but it sounds like I was some backup plan. Seemed like a nice enough guy, too."

"Look, that was super shitty of him… obviously. But I mean, you can't just expect that every guy's going to do the same thing. I'm not him."

"I," you started, as the beginning sigh of disbelief left you, "Well yeah, sure. I just. I don't really know you yet. You seem nice, seriously."

"Look, I promise you, if you give me a chance. I'm not going to do that to you." he looked as if he was nearly pleading.

His was leaning closer over the table as his smile was left hanging like a suggestion; like he was desperate to convince you of something, anything. As long as you'd think he's worth it, because he definitely felt he could be.

You looked at him, though you were lost in thought. You didn't exactly like the idea of feeling like there was no right way of answering him. Were you longing for some kind of connection? What would you gain or lose from this? You hadn't had a relationship that had lasted past a year or so, at least not in a while.

"Look, Josh. I can't promise anything, and I don't want to mislead you." you sighed.

"Okay." he seemed to be digesting your response. "We can at least talk, right? Then we can get to know each other." He lifted his hands infront of himself, as he wanted to seem as chill and disarming about this as much as possible. "That's all I ask."

But the truth of the matter was that, this interaction was uncommon for him. He had a terrible bout of barely holding a girl's interest, so as fleeting as it could have been, he just wanted to grasp at any semblance of positive attention.

You seemed to be considering it, despite the very obvious pressure to remain as polite as you could. Something about Josh gnawed at you, like he wasn't entirely sincere. But you also kind of had the feeling that maybe, it would be nice for a change… to not date someone everyone knew, or the disasters that resulted from the few chances you took by dating a coworker.

"Alright, just. We'll take it slow, and see how things go then?" you smiled, sipping from your smoothie.

You noticed his response was agreeable, as he gave way to a grin. "Okay, cool. Did you want me to give you my number again? Y'know, just in case you lost it."

"That's not necessary. I still have it…but," you paused, then gently reaching over the table. "Can I see your hand?"

He wordlessly let you take his hand, as you retrieved the pen that was clipped onto your blouse's pocket. You wrote out your phone number beneath his wrist, and he did his best not to reveal how ticklish the action was for him.

"Here… we're even now. Unlike certain people, I won't hold it against you, if you decide not to text." you laughed, noting how you were guilty of not rushing yourself. You clicked the pen, as it retracted back, setting it back in your pocket.

Well, you figured he would text you. Yet, it didn't happen that night. So you took the next day, and decided you'd add him into your contacts. As you paced for a bit, you decided to work on breakfast-- just some scrambled eggs and toast. You stood at the counter as you chewed, looking down at your phone. You figured now would probably be a good time as any to text him.

You slowly began typing out a good morning text, as you backspaced a few times, clearing out what you thought sounded kind of either: too long, stupid, or desperate. You then settled on something simple, immediately turning your phone face down.

"Alright. Let's see." you said aloud to yourself. You were planning out the rest of your day, checking your calendar and noting the four hour shift you had today.

Once Josh received your text, he had already added you into his contacts, as he smiled at the notification. He let it sit for a few minutes before he opened it to reply.

Infact, you both texted back and forth. Just making conversation. And after you came home from your shift, you noticed he asked if he could call you. You ended up accepting, spending a couple of hours into your evening just talking.

A week or so had passed, and you were sitting at home after your shift was canceled because one of your jobs had to cut hours. So you scrolled through your contacts, swiping open your messages with Josh.

He was in the middle of his shift at work, when he noticed you asking him if he was busy that night. He didn't have to tell you, but he immediately found the nearest manager to tell them some excuse as to why he had to go home early.

Josh rushed home, nearly cutting off a few people in the process, as he didn't seem to have concern for anything else. He was intent on showing up on time, or early if it would mean anything to you. And this time, instead of the flop that resulted with the last guy, you decided not to meet up somewhere, and you requested that he meet you outside of your apartment complex. You weren't about to get stood up this time.

You had dressed up similarly as to how you looked the night you both first officially met. This time, it was specifically for him. He almost felt like he was dreaming as he watched you walking out to the parking lot. He was leaning against the passenger side, as his gaze didn't seem so shy the way it lingered on certain parts of you. You noted that as you drew closer, and smiled as he opened the car door for you, gently shutting it as you got comfortable.

"Sorry, it was on such short notice." you started, pulling the seatbelt to latch it into place.

"No problem, if anything, I didn't think we were ever going to get this far." he placed his hands on the steering wheel, looking over at you with this unbelievably ecstatic energy.

"Okay, so." you pat your lap impatiently. "Are we getting those wings or what?"

It was the same night, but you both seemed keen on not letting it just end just yet. So here you were, both sitting on your couch after your date-outing, whatever it was, as you certainly felt the proximity even moreso now. The way you were suddenly feeling a bit shy. The energy had shifted, and you weren't entirely sure when it happened. But when was the last time you had a guy over anyway?

The light was a bit dim, as it poured out from the kitchen. He looked down at the way your hands were glued to yourself, resting on your lap. His eyes slowly found its way back up to your face, just taking in how adorable you were.

You found yourself touching your hair, your lips slipping into a nervous smile as you were feeling very self-conscious at the moment. "So, Josh… um, you're definitely staring."

"Mm," he hummed, as he began to scoot himself closer. "Do you not like that?"

Your eyelids lowered, and it was apparent by the way your breathing was a lot more visible, as his eyes were not bashful in watching the way your breasts seem to rise and fall underneath your blouse. "It's not entirely unwelcome." you huffed a small laugh, meeting his eyes once more.

"Good." He definitely seemed pretty satisfied, noting the way his smirk was definitely kind of sexy.

You leaned forward, closing the distance as you met his lips, feeling the scruff of his facial hair tickle you. You could feel yourself fighting the urge to giggle. Josh was entirely welcoming your initiation, as his eyes fell closed, pressing his lips firmly over yours, as he was both persuasive, yet impatient to get you to part your lips for him. You felt it, but you didn't entirely mind. Infact, you're whole being, from your mind...to your fingertips, were anxious to continue.

You were a bit startled, feeling his hands reaching to grasp at your body, they then held on for purchase once he found your hips. You gasped into the kiss, as you figured you would match his action, complying and making it easier for him to guide you as you climbed onto his lap carefully. At first, you were trying to maneuver in a way that wouldn't have you brushing past certain parts of him, but it was apparent it wasn't possible-- though you probably didn't entirely mind either.

You broke the kiss momentarily, waiting for him to open his eyes to look back into yours. "I've been waiting to do that…" he breathed, searching your eyes for any kind of doubt or uncertainty.

"Yeah? Since when?" you giggled, gently pressing your fist into his chest playfully.

"Since I first saw you." he admitted immediately.

"What? Yeah right." you simpered.

"Any guy who's passed up on you is crazy." he said, leaning up to capture your lips with his own again, silencing you before you could spout anymore nonsense.

You could feel the effect you were having on him, as you were still straddling him. And it definitely made you feel feverish all over, as it dawned on you that this was actually happening. Just to test the waters, you gently, but intentionally motioned your lower half against his jeans, and felt him shudder as he gripped onto your hips.

"Okay… you know, what you're doing, right?" he said, voice strained and his jaw tensed as you didn't miss the way his nostrils flared.

You looked down at his face, feeling a bit braver, as you rocked against him again. "What are you talking about?" you teased, the way you left your mouth open, held his mind captive with racy thoughts; ones he wasn't quite ready to blurt out, but if you weren't careful he'd likely be setting them in motion soon.

"Oh, you think you're funny, huh…" his voice lowered, as it seemed a lot huskier and laced with sheer lust.

You didn't miss how it reached your ears, as you shivered, grinding yourself against him persistently. He quirked an eyebrow, as he took the opportunity to leave kisses across the plane of your neck, gently suckling here and there, hoping he might leave some kind of souvenir for later. You loved how he felt on your skin, the stubble was just enough that made you even more aware of him. And he likely caught onto that quickly, especially with the way you didn't pull away as he continued, gently nipping at your skin, especially with how your giggles were just driving him even more mad.

"Oh, you have no fucking idea…how much I want you," he breathed, slipping his hands past the hem of your blouse, sliding up to your covered breasts.

"Josh…" your laugh was certainly a lot more breathless, but the way it tickled his ears, caused him to first grope at your breasts gently, noting how soft they were.

You then dipped down, giving him a peck, then carefully nipping his bottom lip into your mouth, slowly pulling your face back from him. After, you then guided his hands back out so that he could settle them on your waist. You then unbuttoned your top slowly, as you watched yourself, feeling the intensity of his stare.

He certainly was not complaining, as he helped you slip the sleeves off of your arm, appreciating the view as he resumed palming at your breasts. The way your body curved over him, as you certainly looked gorgeous, mimicking the very action of fucking yourself ontop of him as you continued creating the friction for the two of you. He could only imagine how it was going to feel once he was inside, and it was painful enough for him as he was still confined to his jeans.

He began to press his thumbs into your breasts, scratching right where your nipples were beneath it, but this only kept him busy for a few moments more, as he brought the straps down your arms, yanking you free from the cups of your bra. You could feel the goosebumps invade your arms very suddenly, as you reached behind your back to unclip it so you could discard it.

"Are we doing this here?" you asked, as your hands hovered down to the zipper of his pants, slowly sliding it down. He seemed thankful that things were heading in a favorable direction.

"We're doing this regardless, wherever you want it." he groaned, as he reached between you two to slide his pants down past his thighs.

You retracted, standing up briefly, only so that you could pull his jeans the rest of the way down for him. He stared up at you as he noticed you didn't join him back on the couch. With a smile you walked over to the closed door which lead to your room, and he quickly followed.

Once you were both inside, you began to shimmy out of your jeans, as he threw his own shirt off, leaving you both in just your underwear now. He was quickly back on you, pressing you against him, his full height causing you to swallow.

It only took a few breaths, and you were ontop of the bed, back nestled into the sheets as he claimed the spot above you, distracting you with a kiss, promises of what he was about to do to you, his tongue melding against yours, as he groaned, slipping his underwear off. "You're driving me crazy…"

You felt him bring your panties down midway, as you briefly took pause from kissing him, feeling his impatience through his touch. Once he had them off of you completely, he slid his hand between the slick heat of your thighs.

"What happened to taking it slow?" you briefly huffed the suggestion, mostly as a joke, but it partially agitated him since the implication meant you might be stopping him.

"I think we've waited long enough, just look at you…" he pressed his open mouth over your neck, just inhaling the way he could smell the sweat that clung to your skin, the essence of your arousal just as apparent as his own, as he twitched pathetically against you. "You are so fucking wet, pretty sure I'd slip right in…"

Your eyes fluttered closed, as you could feel him murmuring nonsense into your neck, his hard length rubbing against you as he continued petting you, and for emphasis, you felt the sudden intrusion of two his fingers inside of you, as your mouth opened silently at first.

"You want it, don't you? Admit you want to fuck me just as much as I want you." he whispered, the filthy words coming out of his mouth like it was second nature. Was he always like this?

"Yes, Josh, fuck… I want it, I want you." you breathed, laughing at how obscene this had become. You weren't used to being talked to like this, it was partially bizarre, but maybe you were hornier than you realized.

"What's so funny?" he remarked, as he started to finger you a bit rougher, and he noticed the hitch in your voice, reverberating against his lips as he was kissing one of your breasts.

"It's not funny… just… surprised, I guess." you swallowed, hoping you hadn't irked him. It wasn't like you were laughing at him, it was just a habit. You were definitely not immune to giggling if it was enjoyable sex.

"Good, because I'm tired of waiting." he bit down on your breast, as you gasped not expecting the sudden… kind of threat. He continued his ministrations, sliding his fingers from your heat, focusing on your clit for a few languid moments, as he smirked.

"Mm," you hummed, as you reached up to play with the curls of his hair. "Then stop being all talk, and do something." you teased him.

And apparently that was the final push he needed, as he positioned himself, raising one of your legs to widen the space he could settle. He admired you for a final few moments, as the head of his length kissed at your entrance, as he carefully slid inside of you. Which took a lot of practiced restraint, but he took a few moments before you engulfed him to the hilt.

You dipped your head into the pillow, giving yourself fully to him. "Ha… is that it?" your voice drawled out, a tone he was certain meant you were completely his to handle however he wanted.

"What do you mean?" he groaned, as he pulled himself back, only to slam right back inside of you. That first sound of your intimate parts becoming more acquainted, and the obscenity only made you more daring as you were reveling in riling him up.

"N-nothing." you said, shaking your head, your hair becoming a bit messier as it moved a bit against the pillow.

"Well, fuck…" he moaned, "you're… so wet, just for me."

To be summed up in a short sentence, he was simply down bad and consumed by the pussy. At least, that was what echoed in your mind, as you couldn't help but notice how vocal he was. And you nearly burst out laughing, but you tempered yourself to not ruin the moment and upset him with your badly timed humor. Well, that and it kind of felt nice, too.

It didn't much longer until he was thrusting at a pace that practically rendered him completely speechless, if it was indication by the way he was reduced to blubbering curses solely. You slipped between the space you had, using your fingers to chase your own pleasure, which would also serve to help him finish off shortly after.

Just as you felt him reach his orgasm, you sped up your own movement, focusing solely on the movement of your fingers over your clit desperately, as you continued moaning even as he was nearly tapped out. If it was any indication by the way the grip on your legs loosened. But after a few moments of satisfying yourself, you allowed him to slip off of you on his side.

"Hm… so…" you finally spoke, as he laid there, eyes shut.

"Yeah?" he smirked, turning over as he played with your hair, noting the way your skin glistened.

"You better send me a good morning text first next time." you quickly said, pinching the skin of his arm.

"Ow, yeah of course…" he swatted at your hand, pecking your cheek. "Wait, can't I stay till the morning?"

You rolled your eyes, "I guess… I'm too tired to argue. Just don't think this means we're a thing…"

"Mm, yeah sure." he knew you were probably trying to save face. But he would allow that for now, especially with how tonight ended.

You snuggled up against his chest, playing with the bit of hair he had there. "Next time, you don't have to finish inside of me… feels messy." you laughed.

He cradled your head, playing with your hair, not responding as he simply smirked to himself. Yeah, nice try, not when your body was exclusively meant to take him.

"I'm serious." you mumbled, speaking up louder this time.

"You said you're too tired to argue." he mocked you, laughing. God, he was such a headache. What did you get yourself into?

[imaginespazzi]

Nivi, bestie, I can’t believe this is it! The final part, and hence the final review (and potentially the longest? 😅):

The flashback scene is so incredibly perfect. I can’t really describe how much I loved this scene – probably one of my favourites of the entire fic. Just thinking of how far they’ve come since then, with their first kiss not happening until 5 years later, then finally being together in the same place at the same time almost a decade later.

You talk about being a nostalgic writer and this scene just fully encompassed the feeling of nostalgia, you know?

Their WNBA game against each other was also so good, and it just really boosted my craving of a Paige-Azzi rivalry in the W irl for at least a few years. With the way everybody’s tuning into all the W relationship drama right now, I just know that Pazzi on court rivalry mixed with all their off-court sweetness would hit like crack for everyone haha.

Even though I know we already saw it in the snippet, seeing Paige bring up the bloody UCLA decision again and using it against Azzi took me back and still got me a little mad lol, but I know it was necessary to show the growth and I did love seeing that play out. Plus, you had to add in a little bit of angst, and I’m always appreciative of that.

Side note: Cam being in charge of recruiting – ofc she would be, who else? The sweetest soul, indeed. This actually also made me think of what if Azzi gets drafted to GSV, then after Cam’s rookie contract ends with the Sparks, the Currys also lure her over to GSV. And then the year after that, Paige goes over and joins them?! Let me cook (and be delulu) here, bestie. Ofc, I still would love to see our big 3 that never quite was (Li, P, Az) but I wouldn’t be opposed to a P, Az, Cam Big 3 either.

The 2am phone call took me back to that phone call, but a much happier version this time ofc. The “come home” – yeah, there were definitely tears by this point.

And then the airport reunion 🥹 “Do you want me to drop you woman?” – was that a callback to an earlier flashback scene (I could totally be making things up here but that was the first thing that came to mind haha)? Also, I see you let P really be her 6ft self here 😂. Nah I believe her.

Then ending it the way you did, with their first WNBA championship, it doesn’t get more perfect than that. And when you talked about Azzi having been there for the state championship, then the college natty, and then finally the league championship. Man, I so hope that’s what reality has in store for them too. Like just how special it would be having been there for each other’s high school achievements to hopefully winning the natty together next season, then hopefully winning a WNBA championship together at some point. It’s the way that if you described their story to a random stranger, it really would sound like a piece of fiction, fairytale and daydreams, but like it’s not, it’s real, they’re real. Insane.

And tying it all back to that first scene. You’re like the master of that. Like I said, it was the perfect ending.

Well this is usually the part where I would put my thoughts for what’s next but I guess there is no next huh (big sad):

Nah for real, cannot thank you enough for letting me, well all of us, live out this Roman Empire.

Who would have thought one comment from 5 months ago would have led to all this?! The one good thing that came out of that horror UCLA game 🤭

Also, if somehow Paige does end up at the Sparks and Azzi at GSV, I will never not think about UCLA fic Paige and Azzi ya know, they’ll be my roman empire forever now. It would be incredibly poetic though if they do both end up at Minnesota someday. Then I’ll know you were just writing the script for them all along 😌

Oh and I see you incorporating “in between shades of blue” at the end there 👀 I’m sorry we never used the actual title when referring to the fic 😭 You ate with that though.

Favourite lines:

“It’s peaceful out here,” she says quietly, sounding shy even to her own ears and she can’t help but wonder when the hell that happened, “you wanna stay a little longer?” “Yeah okay let’s stay longer,”

She swears she feels her before she sees her.

“This. The same exact thing you did. For someday.”

Alternate lyrics:

I don’t have one this time. I was hoping you’d use This Love tbh and had the biggest smile when I saw the lyric. I think I recall you mentioning one time how much UCLA Azzi was This Love-coded and I’d always thought it was the perfect song for this fic so, no notes.

Instead, as I was listening to This Love, I was kinda replaying the fic in my mind, and these were the scenes that came to mind so I guess you could say they’re my favourites (with the ones in bold being the most special to me):

When Azzi first shows up at Paige’s Airbnb in LA

Paige seeing the pictures of them on Azzi’s wall

Their first kiss outside the bar

Paige circling the Fudd house a billion times while Drew’s dying in the passenger seat

The phone call after Azzi’s date with Zoe

The night at the Cayman Islands

Azzi returning P’s stuff

All of Paige’s unanswered messages

Paige seeing Azzi at the natty game and Azzi celebrating with her and the team

Draft night

The date

Dancing in the snow

Their kiss after Azzi wins the natty

Stargazing

The phone call where Azzi finally chooses Minny

The ending

You did it, bestie! I don’t know if you have a holiday planned during your summer break, but I hope you do (get those 3,562 pictures taken! 😂), you definitely deserve it after gifting us with this masterpiece!

I don’t know what’s next but trust I’ll always be tuned it to whatever you write, whenever that may be again. Got a fan in me forever 💗

See you around, Nivi!

Much love always,

-🙋‍♀️

WE DID IT BABEEEEE <3 Before I start replying to what you said, I just wanted to THANK YOU BESTIE because this fic wouldn't exist without you. You've shaped so much of the story and your chapter reviews were my biggest source of motivation.

I'm really glad that sense of nostalgia came through because I definitely felt it while writing it. And I couldn't help but think just how far they've come since that scene and just the beginning of the fic tbh

Fun fact, the WNBA scene was initially a part of Here's to Eternity but I didn't like something about how it fit with that fic so I had it saved to add into this one. And I've been so tuned into the Nai-Lyss drama, that I just had to include Pazzi-esque version of that tension.

LMAO I knew you'd be mad at Paige lol. Listen in this fic, she's the kinda person who needs to take a step backwards so she can take five forwards. But yeah, I really wanted to bring things full circle with her being supportive this time, so I hope that came through!

PAIGE AZZI CAM BIG THREE WOULD SAVE LIVES (well after everyone dies of happiness first lol) but I'm a big Cam Brink fan and she felt like the perfect cameo to add here

The way you just get my writing >>> Cause I was fully gonna add in a throwaway line about the other 2 am phone call but then I was like nah I'mma do the show not tell thing and hopefully people will see it anyway (idk if anyone else did but as long as you did I'm happy)

I really hope that even if this an AU, real life mirrors it a little bit and they're about to get a championship at every stage of their career and live it out with each other. And you're so right, they're straight out of a novel by God Himself.

As we've established now I think, I do love a good full circle moment.

Why did you saying "I guess there is no next" make me so emotional like damn

That UCLA game might have given us emotional trauma but at least we made lemonade out of the lemons and all of that right?

AHAHAH yeah I wanted to do an ode to the title at the end even if nobody really refers to this fic by it's title because I did have some reasoning behind that being the title and them finding forever in between shades of blue

This Love is honestly the overarching theme for this whole fic so it felt fitting to the end it with that as the main theme song and I'm glad you approve!

3,562 picture is insane and unlike Paige, I literally will not let anyone take that make photos of me

Please keep coming back here bestie because I'mma miss you so much if you don't. Love you babes <3

[gender-roles-can-suck-my-dick]

And i mean yes, he has that "staring without blinking" autistic charm but that's not too important

Alright, lore time: political history from the ner world gets t) a point where the closest thing to a princess of a relatively small territory figures out the puddles (by stealing a certain chrysanthemum child's life work and getting "rid" od him → he's in a vegetative state. Which is funny because they're plents. Please laugh.

She sent several scouts (one of them was younger Gin, before his "death") to the human world, some came back and some didn't. Finally, she went on an exploration to the human world without dying first, and her brother helped preserve the body (in a vegetative state as well) and she wasn't quite-so-prepared for the effects that switching sides like in algebra would have on her. Picture this: that's not your world, you have 5o substain your existence in some way, shouldn't you?

Well, that way is cannibalism 👍at first it is hintedcat with the blue iris lady, then with gin (neri figured out with the plant lady that she has to eat them, and got gin some chrysanthemums before he dissintegrated) but you'll start to deform if you consume stuff that's not of the same origin as you- for humans it should be easier, because humans are of the same genus (although there are very few humans in the ner world, obviously), but for ner? They have to consume the same plant as their origin. If they don't, they fade. If they eat a different plant, they become... Creatures

Like in myths, picture dangerous w*ndigos and kelpies and gnomes that bite your eyes off. Nahuales. Depends on the original strength of the ner and the things they consume, and that's how i will try to incorporate multiple mytholoies and folklore from all parts of the world. As many cultures as possible, although that's research i still need to do :)

The princess (she doesn't have a name yet) is a rare ass plant and she didn't know that she was rare when she got to the human world (she had a shifty understanding of everything, with her scouts. They informed her that she shouldn't, under any circumstance, eat plants that weren't her own, but she didn't know that not every single type of flower could be found in Convenient Little Spots in the human world. She hurried a bit, ahe wanted to know all of the human world first-hand, and didn't wait foe her sacrifices scouts to collect enough information for a safe mission. She waited barely 5 years. (Gin was 12 when he was first sent as a scout, equivalent to like 24 here but still a child mentally and biologically for a ner). Timeline will be fixed later, i need some plot to fix the plotholes. Ages will be adjusted, probably)

Well, neither she nor the people who went with her cpuld find a specimen of her mother plant, and ‼️‼️she couldn't come bqck empty-handed, she hhad a bet to win against her brother‼️and she was dying. And, she reasoned, if she couldn't eat the other plants, what other option was there but to eat a human? (Try to picture a creepy flesh plant. That's what she started turning into). She tried to hide it from what was left of the crew, but. Yeah (i still need to think of the effects and in-universe plausible explanation for the transformation) and when she was getting pretty used to eating humans (whole humans) and a human child (human children could usually see ner, while most adults couldn't, made them harder to eat because, somehow, if they can't see you it's like you can't touch them. Interesting) from a city nearby her camp who she had talked to before came (willingly, mind you, she must have made friends with someone from your team) and offered her a flower of hers ("it looks like you, ms. Fairy"). Well. You bit her hand off, alongside the flower.

But the flower, combined with the fact that the child tried to run and that you were already weak and getting weaker, something happened and you felt your face glue to the child's arm. It was terrifying, it was horrifying, being the parasite qnd AAAAAAAA yeah you got incorporated like those fish that bite into the female fish to become portable testicles. And the child, well. They don't remember anything of it, luckily, but they were kept there and alive by your team for about a human month, they tried to save you but it was futile (you tried to eat the human and the human- in a way- ate you). When they saw the child start to wake up, with no trace of you lying there, an eye inside their brain, they gave it back to its parents (you remember the Ye Olde Days stories of "my child got taken by changelings and now it's a weird kid (autism hadn't been invented yet)"? That's kind of what happened to Neri, from their parents and siblings' point of view.

So hurray! He grew up with a bit of the magic-soul-subconscious-eye of a magic plant princess on their brain! The princess' brother was still trying to get her back so he kept sending scouts (some stayed, like the blue iris lady. What was the guy going to do, go himself to get them back? Nah, they were living happily as creatures of the forests and jungles and meadows. Alone, most of them, but happily). Some of the scouts sent to the area where Neri lived as a kid sensed something, and when he wandered too far they started chasing him (most of them just wanted answers, but Neri's fight or flight instinct kept the trauma response to seeing plant people approach. Some of them did hurt him, but the other kids at school did too, so there wasn't any proof to show to their parents or siblings that it happened).

Talking abour siblings, Neri (at 17) was an older brother to a 10yo and a 9yo, (they're thought of after two of my siblings (i have one 13yo brother and 2 10yo sisters) :) and that's what i always say about projecting too much onto Neri, i need to cut that off and make him a real character)

So he finishes highschool and gets sent to the city where the main sroty happens (before they cross the puddle), to work a bit before starting college and whatnot. And stuff happens, as you might know

I am SO IVESTED IN THIS STORY VAL I AM ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT

[engie-ivy]

(@wolfstarmicrofic No Angst, just a (maybe funny) Fluffy Wolfstar Get-Together! That I somehow managed to incorporate an olive into😂)

7th: Olive

Sirius can't go out with Dearborn because Mary is having a party. Remus just has to inform Mary about this.

You Should Tell Him

“So I asked my mother, ‘which one is it?’ I asked, ‘do you want to punish me, or do you want me to stay away from the annual family dinner?’ I told her she was being quite contradictory, and it’s either one or the other.”

“Sirius, you didn’t!” Remus laughs, and takes a sip from the cappuccino he got on his and Sirius’ daily coffee run before their last class of the day.

“I sure did!” Sirius exclaims. “So what do you thing she did? Well, she-”

“Hi there. I was hoping to run into you.”

Sirius stops walking as Caradoc Dearborn approaches them. Caradoc Dearborn, who’s looking like he’s on his way to the gym, though Caradoc Dearborn always looks like he’s on his way to the gym. He looks like the kind of guy works out every day, Remus thinks sourly.

“Oh, hey Dear.” Sirius gives Dearborn a small wave. “You know that on a day packed with classes, you’ll most likely find me where the coffee is!”

Dearborn laughs. “That I do, B.”

“B?” Remus only realises he said it out loud when Dearborn turns to look at him.

“Yeah, I figured if Sirius calls me by an abbreviated version of my last name, I should do the same for him, and there’s just something so unsexy about Bla, don’t you think?” Dearborn turns back to Sirius with a sly smile. “And anything unsexy is definitely not fitting for Sirius.”

“As opposed to the immense sex appeal of the letter B,” Remus mutters, but he’s not sure if Dearborn even hears.

“So, B,” Dearborn says. “I wanted to ask you out for a drink tonight.”

“Oh!” Sirius looks surprised, though Remus can’t understand how he didn’t know Dearborn is into him. Sirius briefly glances at Remus, who does his very best to look uninterested as he takes another sip from his drink. Sirius looks back at Dearborn. “Uhm, yeah, I suppose I-”

Remus has no idea what on earth possessed him, but before he can think better of it, he says “Mary is having a party tonight.”

Sirius blinks at him in confusion. “A party at Mary’s? Tonight?”

“Yeah,” Remus says, surprised himself at how convincing he sounds. “Did you forgot to put it in your calendar again?”

Sirius frowns and scratches his head. “I guess I must’ve.

“In any case,” Remus says. “You can’t make tonight, Mary is expecting you.”

Sirius gives Dearborn an apologetic smile. “You heard it. I’m sorry, Dear. Another time, okay?”

“Sure,” Dearborn mutters, throwing Remus an annoyed look.

Remus just smiles innocently at him, feeling very pleased with himself, until he remembers he now has to convince Mary to throw a very last-minute party.

Crackling music is playing from Mary’s laptop in the corner. On the kitchen table are a few old bottles of beer found at the back of the fridge, a couple of half-empty bottles of wine, half a loaf of bread to tear off a piece and dip in a jar of mayonnaise, and a jar of olives with some tooth picks.

Besides Remus and Sirius, Mary and her roommates Lily and Marlene are there, though none of them seems entirely pleased with that themselves. Peter, who luckily let himself get dragged out of the house to a party he knew nothing about without asking too many questions, and James, who’s always excited to go to Lily’s and is probably the only one who doesn’t seem disappointed as he’s happily dipping his bread in mayonnaise, are there. Amelia and Edgar are there, though they don’t seem to know why themselves, and the Prewett twins are there, as they always seem to manifest themselves out of thin air whenever someone mentions the word ‘party’.

“Mary!” Remus hisses. “This party is terrible!”

Mary gives him a deadly glare. “Gee, I wonder why,” she says through gritted teeth. “One would almost think I had to throw it together in an hour!” She turns on her heels and stalks off to yell at Peter for using his fingers instead of a tooth pick to pick an olive out of the jar.

A very groggy-looking Lily walks up to Remus. She’s wearing pyjama bottoms and has got her hair up in a messy bun. “I asked Mary what possessed her to keep us away from our beds for this,” she says, placing her hands on her hips. “And she told me to take it up with you. So, Remus, what the hell?!”

“Caradoc Dearborn wanted to take Sirius out tonight,” Remus says sourly.

Lily blinks at him in confusion, then understanding dawns on her face and she pinches the bridge of her nose. “Remus John Lupin,” she says slowly. “Are you telling me that the reason we’re all missing out on our vital sleep is because you don’t want Caradoc Dearborn to get into Sirius Black’s pants?”

“What else could I have done?”

“What else could you have done?” Lily asks. “What else could you have done?! You could’ve just told him you don’t want him to go out with Dearborn because you’re absolutely mad about him yourself, like you should’ve done bloody months ago!”

Remus goes pale, and Lily sighs deeply. “He’s standing right behind me, isn’t he?” She turns around to indeed find Sirius standing there, wide-eyed, frozen in place, his hand tightly gripping his beer bottle. Lily shakes her head. “You know, maybe tomorrow I’ll feel guilty about this, but right now, I’m just too damned tired to even care,” she says, before walking away.

Remus wishes the ground would swallow him up whole.

After a very awkward moment, Sirius scrapes his throat to undoubtedly have a very awkward conversation. “She does have a point, you know. It would’ve been better to tell me rather than making poor Mary go into the books as the person who threw the worst party in the history of college.”

“Yes, thank you,” Remus replies. “In hindsight, I can indeed see I made some unfortunate decisions.”

“Would’ve been more effective too.” Sirius is looking down at his beer bottle, playing with a loose corner of it’s label. “I mean, if I had known you’re interested in me like that, I wouldn’t have told Caradoc ‘some other time’.”

“What...” Remus scrapes his throat as his mouth has suddenly gone completely dry. “What would you have told him?”

Sirius looks up at Remus. “I hope I would’ve told him I’m not interested in having drinks with him ever as I’m already dating this amazing guy whom, for the record, I’m also absolutely mad about.”

“Yeah, that... that’s...” Remus swallows. “You should tell him that.” He takes a step forward closer to Sirius. “Next time you see him, you should tell him that.”

Sirius smiles and arches an eyebrow. “Should I?”

Remus leans in so that his next words are almost whispered against Sirius’ lips. “Yes, you should.”

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Day 52: Tattoos

When he left the Wizarding World, Harry hadn't thought too much about what would happen to Draco Malfoy after he testified for him at his trial.

If pressed, he probably would have assumed that Malfoy would have continued in his father's footsteps. He would have imagined well tailored suits and robes, long blonde hair, the same aristocratic nose tipped in the air.

So, perhaps his jaw all but hitting the floor when he saw the other man for the first time in five years was understandable.

And it wasn't the fact that he was walking into the muggle bar that Harry worked at that shocked him, it was the fact that Malfoy had trimmed his hair short on the sides and left the top long; it was that he'd dyed it hot pink.

It was the fact that his left arm had a muggle tattoo covering the dark mark that had once been there with beautiful, bright flowers; new life coming out of death. It was the dragon tattoo peaking out of the collar of his shirt, that Harry guessed, was shaped around his namesake constellation.

It was the loose, black v-neck, muggle t-shirt tucked into skinny jeans that were cuffed just above his ankles. And the three earrings in the cartilage at the top of his right ear.

It was that he looked nothing like the stiff, tidy, pretentious twat that Harry would have envisioned him growing into and it made Harry wonder what else he was wrong about.

Malfoy caught sight of him a few second later and literally froze in place.

"What can I get you?" Harry asked, giving him a little smile.

"Sorry," Malfoy said, cocking his head uncertainly, "You look like someone I used to know."

(Read more below the cut)

And that was fair, too, Harry supposed. He didn't look anything like the scrawny, desperate teen he'd been the last time Malfoy saw him, either. Harry had grown a good six inches since then, his shoulders had filled out, he'd grown his hair long because the curls were less messy that way, he'd grown a beard that he kept short and tidy, and he had a few tattoos of his own. "You look like someone I used to know, too," he replied, "But you can't possibly be the same person that I thought I knew and I'm sure that I'm not quite what you thought either." He tilted his head at Malfoy, "What can I get you?" he repeated.

"What would you recommend?" Malfoy asked as he slid into a bar stool with a touch more caution than Harry liked.

"Do you like sweet drinks?" he asked, "I have this cotton candy drink that we make with cranberry juice and raspberry vodka," then he added, "And cotton candy, obviously."

"That would definitely be something I've never tried before," Malfoy replied with a little smile.

"Done." While Harry was making the drink he said, "So what brings you so far from home?"

Malfoy cocked his head, "I left home ages ago," he said. "Disowned, as a matter of fact."

Harry frowned as he reached under the bar to fetch the cotton candy, "What? Why?"

Harry saw him lift one shoulder casually before having to stick his head into the cupboard below to reach the bag of cotton candy in the back, "Apparently, Malfoys are allowed to make all sorts of mistakes and commit all sorts of atrocities, but being gay was just one step too far for them."

Harry bashed the back of his head against the bar in his haste to stand up, "Wait, you're-?" he started before registering just how badly that had hurt, "Ouch, fuck," he said, rubbing the back of his skull.

"Here," Malfoy murmured, holding out his hand, "Let me."

Harry leaned over and Malfoy gently cupped the back of his head and murmured something under his breath. A moment later a warm, tingly feeling suffused Harry's head and all of the pain disappeared.

"Wow," Harry said, rubbing the back of his skull again and feeling for any tender spots, "That was amazing."

Malfoy shrugged and Harry went back to working on the drink. "I was training to be a healer," he confessed softly so no one would overhear, "But then I had one too many people refuse to let me help them because of-" he broke off and shook his head, "Well you know."

"I'm sorry that happened to you," Harry said with a frown as he slid the drink across the bar. He was about to say more when Ben, one of his regulars, came up to the bar for a refill, "Hold that thought," he said, making his way over to get him another bourbon.

"This," Malfoy said, pointing to the drink Harry had made him when he returned a few minutes later, "Is actually quite tasty, Potter."

He laughed, "No need for the tone of surprise, this has been my job for nearly five years now. And you can call me, Harry," he added.

The corner of Draco's mouth tilted up, "Oh I can, can I?"

Harry nodded, "And I think I'll be calling you Draco."

"Bold of you," he said but he was smiling so Harry didn't take him too seriously.

"Gryffindor," he replied, pointing to himself with a wink. "So tell me about yourself, Draco," he said.

And to his surprise and utter delight, Draco did. He sat at the bar, sipping that martini before switching over to lemonade, all evening, telling Harry about his life and asking questions about Harry in turn.

One things led to another and by the time Harry was getting ready to leave, Harry was really not ready for the night to end.

"Can I walk you home?" Draco asked, apparently he wasn't ready for it to end either.

Harry smiled at him and nodded toward his house, they set off down the street talking about nothing. He only lived a few blocks away and they found themselves standing at the bottom of Harry's steps all too soon.

"Will you punch me if I kiss you?" Draco asked him.

Harry shook his head with a smile he couldn't quite hide, and leaned forward to meet Draco halfway. The moment their lips met, Harry's veins felt like they'd been set on fire. He reached out and clasped the fabric of Draco's t-shirt in his hands and pulled him forward, crashing their bodies together.

"Come inside," Harry begged against Draco's lips.

Draco pulled back, brow furrowed slightly, "You want this? With me?"

"Godric, yes," he groaned. "Please."

The other man gave him a breathless little smile and Harry dragged him up the stairs and straight to the bedroom.

Afterward, Harry got up to order them some pizza and when he returned, Draco was laid on his back on the bed, his pink hair fanned out across the pillow, Harry couldn't help but think that his body looked more gorgeous than any work of art he'd ever seen. And Harry sat up beside him admire him better, "I thought this one was your constellation," he murmured triumphantly, stroking his fingers over the dragon that curled over his collarbone and up his neck.

"Well spotted," Draco said, a smile in his voice.

He brushed his fingers over the snitch on Draco's chest, "I've got one of these, too," he murmured, leaning a bit so Draco can see the snitch he has on his own hip.

"Yes, I noticed," Draco replied, giving him a little smirk, "What does it say under it?"

"I open at the close," Harry said.

Draco hummed, "You'll have to tell me the story sometime."

"I'd like that," Harry told him, surprised to find that it was true since he'd never wanted to talk to anyone about the war. He trailed his fingers over the flower that had been tattooed over Draco's heart. "For your mum?" he asked.

He gave him a sad smile and nodded, "The black narcissus."

"These are for my parents," he told him, pointing to the antlers adorned with lilies along his collarbones.

"What are these ones?" he asked, trailing his fingers over the Marauder's map style footprints on his bicep and shoulder.

"These," he said, twisting to show Draco that they wrapped around his shoulder and onto his back, "are names of the people who have held me up, some of them still living, and others who live on in me." He grinned at him, "I'll show you the map they're modeled after the next time I have it out."

"Do you have any others?"

"Yeah," Harry said, collapsing onto his back so he could show Draco his ankle, "Deathly Hallows on my ankle."

Draco's fingers brushed lightly over his skin and Harry's spine tingled pleasantly.

"Do you have others?" he echoed

He nodded and rolled over onto his stomach and Harry had to hold back a gasp, "Beautiful," he whispered, trailing his fingers lightly over the wings covering Draco's shoulder blades.

"They're to remind me that I am free. I made my choice to fly instead of staying shackled."

"They're beautiful," Harry repeated.

Draco reached back and pointed to his neck and Harry's eyes followed to a compass. "To remind me that I choose the direction of my life from here on out."

"I love that," Harry replied, flopping back down on the bed next to Draco. "I'm planning my next one."

"Oh?" Draco asked, turning his head to the side and resting it on his forearms so he could look at Harry.

Harry nodded, "A constellation as well, Sirius, and wolfsbane incorporated somehow."

"Are all of yours for people, then?"

"Yeah," he replied, about to say more when the doorbell rang. "That'll be the pizza. Do you want to eat in here or in the kitchen?" he asked as he stood up and started looking for a pair of pants to put on to answer the door

"I should go-"

"Draco," he said, leaning in and stealing another kiss, "Stay. Please."

"For how long?" Draco asked.

The doorbell rang again and Harry stumbled into his boxers, "For as long as you want. Stay forever if you like."

And he was surprised to find that he was only half joking.

--------------

Please go look at this GORGEOUS art by @pato-roldnart. I'm completely in awe of how talented they are. It's just like I imagined it and I am totally in love!

--------------

Day 51: Parents | Day 53: First Anniversary

[finelinevogue]

HI I JUST WANTED TO SAY I FOUND UR BLOG LAST NIGHT AND IM ALREADY ADDICTED TO UR WORKS. YOURE SO TALENTED !! could u do a blurb where the reader is harry’s gf and watching him perform on stage and he invites her up on stage to dance ?

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! LOVE YOU ALREADY!!! this one is for you <33 ;

Harry was an absolute beast up on stage.

Night one of Vegas was a complete success so far and you never wanted it to end. From the moment that you woke up in your Vegas hotel room to the moment when he popped up out of the centre stage to start singing Golden, there wasn’t a moment where you didn’t feel an intimate and enormous amount of pride for him. He looked just so happy and that’s all you could ever wish for.

You were stood next to Jeff and Glenne, watching as Harry performed his beautiful heart out on stage. A lot of the fans around you had spotted you and were calling your name to grab your attention and get photos of you, but you were too shy to respond to any of them. So you kept on watching Harry perform.

The funky and even more upbeat version of Canyon Moon started playing and you knew what was coming next. Harry had prompted you that he might incorporate you somehow into this next segment and you were excited at the time, now you were just completely nervous. Shaky hands, goosebumps, the lot.

“Now I know you all loved the dancing for this next one,” The fans started screaming and shouting, because they instantly knew he was on about Treat People With Kindness, “but unfortunately my dance partner Phoebe is not here tonight.” He kept pausing to let the fans scream, prolonging your nerves, “however,” he walked from the main stage down to the B-stage, “there is someone here tonight who knows the dance and how to dance with me specifically.” He smiled, fiddling with his earpiece.

Your heart stopped. You think?

“Oh my fuck.” You muttered, as Jeff nudged your shoulder playfully and people around you started screaming your name even louder.

Then the light shone on you and you were blinded, only to see what was directly behind you and to the sides. You had to squint or cover your eyes if you wanted to see Harry. You shoved your hands inside your blazer pockets, fidgeting with your fingers inside out of nerves. Harry could instantly tell how you felt.

“Now she’s slightly nervous, so please be kind to her. Y/N, my love?” He asked sweetly, making it hard to say no to him. You squinted to see he was wearing a plea full smile and you wanted to wipe it right off his cheeky face. God he was irresistible. “Come on. Please?” He begged.

“Go on!” Glenne pushed you forwards slightly, making you shuffle sing in your cream-white boots that matched Harry’s.

“What am I doing?” You asked yourself, as people began to chant your name and egg you forwards. Seriously, what were you doing?

You started to walk forwards and through the barriers where Harry would run off the stage later. You said hello to a couple of fans on the way, giving them a quick smile and wave. Harry stood at the end of the platform, holding out a hand for you. One of the security guards gave you a leg up and Harry pulled you the rest of the way, embracing you in a tight hug when he got ahold of you.

“Y’okay?” He asked into your ear, even with all the noise throughout the arena you could still hear him as clear as a new day.

“Probably.” You spoke unsure, knowing you were in the direct spotlight now. Harry chuckled and pressed a kiss to your cheek, making the fans go absolutely wild. You both laughed and walked hand in hand back to the main stage.

“Give it up for my beautiful Y/N!” Harry shouted into his mic and you had to bite your lip from grinning like an idiot. He made you feel so safe and loved and you’d have to especially thank him for that later. The fans screamed for you, many of them shouting that they loved you as you walked past them. You blew kisses to a few of them threw your mask and they pretended to catch them.

Harry dropped your hand to go and set up his electrics for TPWK, grabbing a couple of pride flags as he did so. Harry handed you one and he took the other. It was so warm up here and you understood why Harry was so sweaty and hot now, not that you were complaining at all about how he looked because fuck did he look like a God below. You placed the flag between your pink trousered legs that matched your suit jacket, only to start pulling off your jacket, teasingly slow just for Harry, and throwing it off to the side so you were now just in your cream-white bralette and pink trousers. You were excited that you matched Harry.

The fans screamed so loud when it took your jacket off and pointed their cameras towards Harry, either to film his reaction, which was him just shaking his head and looking away from you otherwise he wouldn’t be able to control himself, or to encourage him to whip off his jacket too.

“Off, off, off!” The crowd shouted, you hoped to Harry because you having your tits out fully would probably get you arrested unlike you - double fucking standards just because you were a woman…

“Oh shut up! You can already see everything!” Harry laughed into the microphone, making you and everyone else laugh too. You wrapped the pride flag around you, tying it up so it wouldn’t fall off. Harry just held onto his instead.

The song began and you stood their, kind of awkwardly, waiting for Harry to let you know what you were allowed to do and where to go. Harry came over to you, strutting like he was on a cat walk, and twirled you around with the arm holding the flag. You laughed at how messy and uncoordinated you both were, having never performed this before now. When you were up here with him though, everything else sort of disappeared as if it were just you and him. It allowed you to become more comfortable in yourself and before long you were dancing around like a maniac.

You spiralled the stage, waving to fans and dancing how they were dancing too. You blew kisses and gave air hugs to people, complimenting the fans that you could see with their epic outfits. Harry was always on the same side of the stage as you, wanting to be as near to you as possible in case something went wrong, because then it did.

When the bridge part of the song came, Harry put down his microphone and started doing the dance that he choreographed in the TPWK music video. You quite happily danced along with him, pretending it was just you and him again dancing at home with one another instead of on a stage in an arena in front of thousands. It was going well until you accidentally tripped over a cable, falling over and landing on your bum. Harry was really worried at first, the song still playing in the background, but as soon as he saw you laughing he joined in and pulled you back up to him.

“Y’alright?” He shouted and you nodded, still laughing through the embarrassment and the shock. No doubt that would be trending on twitter tonight. You were just trying to give your best performance though, that’s all.

You and Harry danced through the rest of the song together, twirling around in each others arms and dancing as if nobody else was watching you but each other. It was so fun and you couldn’t believe that you’d actually been nervous at one point. You finished the song the same way the music video ended, Harry leaning over your arms and you holding him to make sure he didn’t fall. It was such a good finish and the atmosphere felt electric. It was charged with so much positivity, you swore you could never not be happy ever again.

Harry stood back up, giving you a kiss to your lips without second thought that everyone could see. You didn’t mind though because he tasted so good and felt even better. He made you so happy and you could just feel him giving off the same energy as you. You laughed as he let you go and took your hand for a bow.

“Y/N, everyone!” Harry shouted through his microphone and everyone cheered for you. You bowed once more to the other side of the stage, before collecting your jacket and running back off stage so Harry could continue the show without you.

He didn’t let you go without telling you he loved you so much, though.

[middleearthpixie]

TRSB 2022 REVEALS!!

Here is a little taste of my TRSB fic, done for this amazing moodboard done by @joyfullynervouscreator!!

Title: Showstopper Rating: G Character(s)/Pairing(s): Bard/ofc Aislinn Dale, Elrond, Gandalf, Radagast, Saruman, Thranduil, Legolas Warnings/Triggers: N/A Summary: Only three remain. Aislinn Dale, Thranduíl Greenleaf, and Bard Bowman are the last bakers standing in the Great Middle Earth Bakeoff, with three challenges left and the title of Middle Earth’s Best Baker on the line.

All three have proven themselves worthy and skilled, but in the time they’ve spent together, both in the tent and out, they’ve become friends as well. And for two, something even larger may loom on the horizon, something that might be just as wonderful as the crystal plate proclaiming them the winner of the Great Middle Earth Bake-Off…

Check out the rest of the story, and the complete artwork on AO3

***

The absolute worst thing about being in the tent was just how damn hot it was in there. Aislinn Dale exhaled harder than she meant to and sent her too-long bangs straight up for a brief moment. 

Still, she had to admit, she’d rather be sweating her ass off in the tent than be at home watching others sweat their asses off on the Great Middle Earth Bake-Off on television. Even so, she picked up her recipe card to fan herself—for all the good it did—and looked around at the now-mostly empty tent. 

What had begun as a field of twelve bakers had been whittled down to three. And Aislinn kept pinching herself, trying to convince herself she was actually one of the finalists. Over the last few weeks, she’d watched as her fellow competitors fell when their bakes betrayed them by being either over-or-underdone, or by not quite reaching the taste standards the judges had come to expect. The most bizarre dismissal had to be Nori, who’d been voted off the previous week when he’d been caught trying to steal his Kitchen-Aid mixer and several whisks. When pressed, he confessed he’d been swiping things almost since the first day and had amassed quite the collection of mixing bowls and spatulas. It was only because he promised to return every single item, and actually did so, that no charges were pressed against him. All in all, it made for a very interesting week.

But somehow, she’d managed to hold on week after week, despite one spectacular fail when the mousse in her chocolate tarts Showstopper for Desserts Week refused to set. When Elrond cut into one to sample, the filling simply bled from its shell to ooze all over the serving plate, and she would have gone home that week, except Dori had a meltdown no one could have possibly seen coming, that began with Tauriel taking his ice cream from the freezer for what was supposed to be a moment, only to forget to return it to said freezer. When Dori when to incorporate it into his dessert, and found it more soup than ice cream, he dumped the whole confection into the garbage, leaving the judges with nothing to judge. That was the only thing that saved Aislinn that week and although she felt terrible for Dori, who was way ahead of the pack and probably a shoe-in for a finalist spot, if not the overall winner, she was also thankful for Tauriel’s screwup. 

So now it was her, Bard Bowman, and Thranduíl Greenleaf in the finals. 

Thranduíl was still in the tent, his pale gold hair pulling free from its normally sleek ponytail.  Those wispy strands floating about his face were the only indication that he felt the heat. Where she and Bard spent as much time fanning themselves as they did double and triple checking their recipes, Thranduíl went about putting together one amazing bake after another. He had an eye for design and an innate gift for bringing together flavors that had the judges—Gandalf and Elrond—questioning his choices at first, but marveling over them with the first bites. Nothing seemed to rattle him, where as she spent a great deal of time muttering and swearing under her breath. 

“Do you plan to just sleep here tonight?”

Aislinn looked up as Bard strolled back into the tent. He was the surprise, the dark horse in the field. To look at him, Aislinn would think he could barely boil water, as he just didn’t seem the sort to spend much time in the kitchen. It didn't take her long for her to realize how stupid her assumption had been, as he’d proven himself to be a fairly good baker. He preferred simpler bakes, but with unusual tweaks to them, and had won Star Baker three weeks in a row as a result. 

“Are you talking to me?” She tugged the elastic holding her ponytail sort of in place off and as her hair spilled down over her shoulders, she eased the elastic over her hand, wincing as it snapped against her wrist. 

He nodded. “I am, yes. Are you?”

“Not if I can help it. Cakes tomorrow? I have to go home and practice until I can’t stand the sight of such things.”

Thranduíl peered at her over his shoulder. “What is there to practice? We don’t know what the recipe will be, how do you practice?”

“I look over every cake recipe I can find and hope I can remember the little details.”

“Well, Thrandy and I were going over to Ike’s and unwind a little.” He shook his longish dark hair from his eyes. Like Thranduíl, he wore it pulled back when they were baking, but now it fell about his face in shiny, almost-black waves. “Care to join us?”

She hesitated. Tomorrow’s challenge was the technical one, where they would be given a skeleton of a recipe and had to figure out how to bake the good in question. She wasn’t kidding when she’d said she planned on reading cookbooks to practice. But if she was completely honest with herself, a beer sounded far more preferable than cookbooks, so she nodded. “I’d love to, yes.”

“Great.” Bard’s dark eyes gleamed as he smiled. “Get your stuff and I’ll meet the two of you—” he looked over at Thranduíl—“out front.”

She looked over at him as well, and as always, Thranduíl was serene, a slight smile playing at his lips as he said, “I’ll make certain to hurry her along then.”

“Hurry me along?” She shook her head. “I’m ready to go and you’re still cleaning up.”

His smile grew wider, and he winked as he reached behind him to tug the elastic from his hair. It spilled down over his shoulders, a waterfall of gold so pale, it looked almost white. “I’m done. So, shall we?”

Aislinn slipped off her apron to drape it over her station and moved to the rear of the tent, where they kept their personal belongings. She lifted her black backpack to one shoulder, tucked that same, annoying loose lock of hair behind her ear and said, “We shall.”

The three of them made their way from the tent, with Bard bidding good evening to the judges and the hosts—the more-than-slightly disheveled Radagast and the elegantly disapproving Saruman—before they crested the hill’s gentle slope. In the distance, the soft gold lights of the Carriage Inn, upon whose grounds the competition was being held, were like oversized fireflies leading their way toward civilization. It was a balmy June night, with just a hint of humidity in the air, and as twilight streaked across the sky, the light morphed from gold to coral to almost purple. 

As the tent receded into the distance, the tension lifted from Aislinn’s shoulders. She knew the men in the tent had gone out and socialized a few times, but this was the first time she’d been asked to join them. 

They passed the inn and the world seemed to change. The bake tent was set far enough in on the inn’s grounds that it was quiet and peaceful there, but as they reached the sidewalk, the city reclaimed them, with the sounds of traffic both foot and motor, the dazzling lights of the shops and restaurants along the way. 

Ike’s was across the street, and they dashed across, only getting honked at once, and Bard tugged open one of the doors and held it, saying, “After you.”

She ducked her head as she stepped into the softly lit old-style pub. The evening crowd was already there, hanging about the bar and the front of the taproom, and a hostess offered up a pert smile. “Three?”

Thranduíl nodded. ‘Please.”

“Of course. Is the dining room all right?”

“The dining room is fine,” Bard chimed over Thranduíl’s shoulder, as if he was afraid the taller man—Thranduíl towered over both her and Bard—would object.

“I was going to say that,” Thranduíl replied, his voice as it always was—even and smooth and low. “You know I don’t like sitting at the bar if I can help it.”

Bard grinned. “Just being careful. Never know when you might decide to surprise us, Thrandy.”

“Are you ever not going to call me that?”

Aislinn looked from him to Bard, who just stared up at Thranduíl. Then, his expression one of utter seriousness, Bard shook his head. “No. You are forever Thrandy from now on.”

A laugh rose in her throat and she mashed her lips together to hold at bay when she saw the pained look on Thranduíl’s elegantly angular face. He closed his eyes briefly, drew in a long, slow breath, and exhaled slowly before replying, “Wonderful. I should have known.”

“You absolutely should have,” Bard winked, then nudged her with a gentle elbow. “Right, Ash?”

Ash? Nobody called her Ash. Until now, anyway. But before she could answer, the hostess, who had been just watching the banter between the two men, lifted three leather bound folios from the slot behind her. “If you’ll follow me, then. I’ll show you to your table.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Thranduíl said, leading the way as they followed the hostess into the somewhat quieter dining room, where she seated them in a far corner. The dining room was not even half-full, and as she slid into her chair, Aislinn said, “You sure you guys don’t want to sit in the bar? Yankees game is on. Judge is on fire this season. Talks are he might break Roger Maris’ record.”

Both men made faces simultaneously and Thranduíl shook his head. “Thank you, but no. Baseball puts me to sleep.”

“Same.” Bard sank into the chair across from her. “You actually like that sport?”

“Yeah. It’s great to have on in the background. You can look away for half an hour and not miss a thing.” 

“Katie will be your server,” the hostess broke in as she pressed menus into their hands, “and she’ll be by in a moment to take your drink orders.”

“Thank you.” Thranduíl said, flipping open the heavy-leather bound folio. “I don’t know why I even bother with this. I get the same thing every time. It’s almost boring.”

“So, what do you boys recommend?” Aislinn asked. Her menu opened with a creak and she stared down, her eyes almost bugging at sheer number of different wines, liquors, and beers offered. 

“Stick with the simple pub stuff,” Bard assured her, flipping to the next page. “The burgers are good, the fries a little greasy, but they’re worth it.”

“Hi, guys. I’m Katie and I’ll be taking care of you tonight.” A tiny brunette came up to them, all white teeth and wide eyes. “Can I start you off with something to drink?”

Aislinn set her menu down. “I’ll have a Shock Top, please.”

“Certainly. Would you like a glass or just the bottle?”

“Just the bottle is fine.”

That got her looks from both men and Bard offered up a slow smile. “I’ll have the same, bottle only, please.”

“I’ll leave the beer to you two,” Thranduíl said, tapping his bottom lip with a long forefinger, “And I think I’ll have a Grey Goose martini.”

“Two Shock Tops and a martini.” Katie tapped her notepad. “Are you ready to order now, or do you still need a few minutes.���

“A few minutes, please,” Bard said, looking up at her.

Her eyes seemed brighten and it was tough to blame her. Both Bard and Thranduíl were both strikingly handsome, a yin and yang of dark and light and Katie wasn’t the only woman who smiled at either of them. Aislinn bit back a smile of her own at the approving looks each one got from what seemed like every woman in the bar. 

Katie bounced off and when she returned a few minutes later with their drinks, Aislinn sat back in her chair, lifted her bottle, and smiled. “Here’s to surviving to the final.”

Bard and Thranduíl leaned in to clink glass and bottle against hers and with a grin, Thranduíl said, “Who was surprised that Nori only tried to steal the mixer?”

“Oh, you heard Radagast, he took a bunch of other things,” Aislinn told him, lowering her bottle. “Three weeks ago, Thorin said he was pretty sure he saw Nori pocket a couple of thermometers and a blowtorch. Just stuck the torch down his pants and walked off like it was nothing. But since Thorin had already been voted off, he didn't think anyone would believe him, that it was sour grapes, yada yada. And really, why would anyone stick a blowtorch down their pants?”

“Too steal it, apparently.” Bard took a long swallow of his beer. “Wonder what else he took?”

“I heard when he returned everything, he had bowls, measuring cups—Pyrex and dry—measuring spoons, the blowtorch, and he seemed overly fond of spatulas. I think Saruman said he returns nearly dozen of them.”

“Damn,” Aislinn stared at him in disbelief, “Never mind the mixer, why all those spatulas?”

“Got me.” Thranduíl shrugged. “Although, if I had to guess, I’d say because they’d be the easiest to steal. Slip them into your waistband and go on your merry way.”

Bard chuckled. “I’d be afraid of them slipping all the way down and coming out the bottom of my pants legs. I wouldn’t want to have to explain.”

“Didn’t seem to stop him. But, it’s almost too bad he didn't nick the mixer. If he’d gotten that, he’d be legend.” Aislinn lifted the bottle to her lips for a sip. The beer was cold and light, with just a hint of orange to it. “I’m impressed by the blowtorch, myself.”

“Well, he did say crème brûlée was his specialty,” Thranduíl said, lifting the olives from his martini. He popped one into his mouth, chewed for a moment, then swallowed before saying, “What do you think we’re going to have to make tomorrow for the technical?”

Bard shook his head. “I haven’t the slightest idea. Cake is the best I can guess.”

That earned him a long look from Thranduíl. “Well, no shit, Bard. It is Final Week. Biscuits first. Bread for technical and now cake.” He glanced over at Aislinn. “Pardon my language.”

“Have you heard me when things aren’t going my way?” She took another swallow and set the bottle down. “You must. You’re only right in front of me.”

“You swear?” Bard asked, looking from her to Thranduíl and back. “Is she serious? I can’t see it.”

Thranduíl offered up a grin and slowly nodded. “Yeah, she does. Like a sailor when properly riled. The other week, when her mousse didn’t set… I’m telling you, I didn't know you could string together that many swear words.”

Aislinn shrugged as Bard threw his head back and laughed. “I was mad about that,” she said with a shrug. “I must’ve made that mousse a half dozen times in practice and had no trouble. But when it counts? The whole thing goes to hell on me. I was pissed. The only reason I didn’t get voted off was because Tauriel melted Dori’s ice cream.”

“Really?” Thranduíl asked dryly, one manicured brow arched. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“Oh, you’re one to talk,” she told him. “Don’t think I didn't hear you today when your fruit began to scorch while you were reducing it.”

Thranduíl rolled his green eyes. “That was totally different.”

“It was totally the same and you know it.”

He grinned then and nodded slowly. “Okay, you win. It was the same. And I didn't think you heard me. I didn’t think anyone had.”

Bard chuckled. “I didn’t, if it matters at all. I did, however, hear you.” He gestured to Aislinn with his bottle. “And you were colorful.”

“I was mad.”

“I gathered.”

Katie came back then and they ordered a bunch of appetizers in place of actual meals and by the time the food was gone, Aislinn was pretty sure she’d never laughed so hard. After several martinis, Thranduíl broke out impressions of Saruman and Radagast, and then moved on to Elrond and Gandalf that had her and Bard almost crying with laughter. 

It was nearly midnight by the time they decided to call it a night. The humidity had crept up and clouds now blotted out any stars, and Aislinn turned to the others. “Okay, I need to get home and get some sleep. I should’ve known better than to come out with you.”

“Why?” Thranduíl asked, looking from Bard to her. 

“Because I’m going to be beat tomorrow and now I don’t have time to go and memorize my cookbooks. And the technicals are hard enough as it is. Being half asleep and kind of hungover won’t do me any favors.”

Bard gave her a playful nudge. “You’ll be fine. Come on, I’ll split a cab with you. Don’t you live over by Branson Park?”

“How did you know?”

“I overheard you and Nori talking about the best ways to get home that first night.” Bard grinned. “And I’ll bet you he walked off with half a dozen ramekins that same day.”

“Couldn’t find a way to carry the whole dozen, could he?” Thranduíl asked dryly. “He must have an entire new kitchen by now.”

Bard held up a hand to signal for a cab, saying, “He’s probably got two of everything by now. At least, until he returned all that he took,” as he flagged down a cab, then added, “So, what say you, Ash?”

“Ash?”

“Yeah. Ash.” He smiled as a yellow cab drew to a halt at the curb and he pulled open the rear door. “It suits you. Come on. You don’t want to have to rely on Thrandy here to get you home safely, do you?”

“Why not?” Thranduíl asked, staring down at Bard as if he’d been gravely insulted. “She’s as safe with me as she is with you.”

“Okay, enough, both of you.” She looked from one to the other, then rolled her eyes and slid into the cab’s backseat with a light, “’Night, Thrandy. See you tomorrow,” and to the cabbie, added, “One-twenty Duane Street, please.”

Bard lowered himself into the seat alongside her as Thranduíl said, “Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you both tomorrow,” and closed the door behind Bard.

As the cab pulled away from the curb, Aislinn looked over at him. “I really misjudged him, you know.”

“Thrandy?” He waited for her to nod, then nodded himself. “Yeah. A lot of people do. He comes across like a spoiled rich kid, and being as quiet as he is doesn’t help. It just makes people think he’s a dick.”

“You knew him before coming here?”

“Yeah.” Bard grinned. “We were roommates in college.”

“No shit?”

“No shit.”

“That must’ve been a fun dorm room.”

“It was… interesting…” 

He turned toward the window as the storefronts slid by, and tapped the glass idly. “So, what do you do when you’re not trying to win this competition?”

“Me? I’m a nurse, actually.”

He looked over at her, eyes wide. “Really?” 

“You sound surprised.”

“I am. I’d think you wouldn’t have much free time for baking.”

“It keeps me sane, is what it does.” She shrugged. “What about you?”

“I’m a commercial fisherman.”

“Get out, really?”

He nodded. “Really. My family’s been in the industry since the beginning of time, it seems. My boat is being captained by my second while I’m here and I’m trying real hard to not obsess over it.”

“And how’s that going?”

“It’s really not, but I’m trying.”

She laughed at the note of worry that crept into his voice. “Well, we’re almost done. Two more challenges and then you can go back to your boat.”

“My family will be disappointed. They seem to like having me around more.”

This was the first he’d mentioned a family, and Aislinn felt a pang of disappointment. “They must miss you when you’re out on the water.”

“Yeah. It’s a little easier now, since they’re older, but still…” He sighed and looked over at her. “I missed a good chunk of their lives when they were little ones. My wife—” 

She waited for him to go on, remained quiet until he cleared his throat and continued, “It was easier when she was still here. For them, I mean. I don’t think they missed me much then.” He looked over at her, a hint of sadness in his eyes. “But now, it’s just them and me, and they won’t ever say anything, but I’ve a feeling they’d be just as happy if I retired and stayed home baking all day.”

“What happened to your wife?”

“Cancer. Ovarian.” He shook his head slowly. “Four years ago.”

“I’m so sorry. That sucks.”

“You know, I never know what to say when someone says they’re sorry, and I don’t mean that in a dickish way. I really don’t know what to say to it.”

“You don’t have to say anything. It’s totally okay if you don’t.”

“Maybe,” he shrugged, “but that doesn’t seem right, either. But, yeah. She fought it for almost a year, but, you know how it ends. She died and I’m raising three kids and I have no idea what I’m even doing, even now.” A soft laugh bubbled to his lips. “But, they’re patient and I muddled through and I think we’re doing okay now.”

“How old?”

“Bain’s my oldest. He’s almost twenty now. A junior at NYU. And there are my girls Sigrid, who’s eighteen and finishing up high school in June, and Tilda, who’s fourteen and a freshman. What about you? Married? Kids?”

“No. And no. It’s just me and the fish in my apartment.” She shook her head. “Work leaves me with neither the time nor the energy to date, and that’s fine. Seems to me there’s nothing but weirdos out there. I hear enough dating horror stories at work to make me kind of glad it’s me and the fish.”

“Don’t let Thrandy know you’re single,” Bard cautioned as the cab drew to a halt outside a brownstone apartment building. “He’s got a crush on you, you know.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said, her cheeks growing warm at his compliment. “But, married men really don’t interest me.”

“I’m just kidding you, Ash. He’s a happily married man with a mortgage, a son in college, and a dog. He’s not looking to cheat on his wife. Although, you’re cute, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he was tempted, you know.”

Unexpected heat swept into her cheeks. “Shut up. He would not.”

Bard winked as the cab pulled up to the curb. He got out to let her out and when she stepped up onto the sidewalk, he winked again. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Ash.”

“See you tomorrow.” She smiled and threw a wave as she shifted her backpack higher on her shoulder and made her way toward her apartment building. At the door, she turned to see the cab hadn’t moved and Bard watching her from the back seat. She waved once more, and as she stepped into the vestibule, the cab finally pulled away. 

[bts-weverse-trans]

201126 Weverse Magazine ‘BE’ Comeback Interview - Jin

Jin: “It feels like my memories of ARMY were all a dream” BTS BE comeback interview 2020.11.26

Jin is calm and quiet throughout the whole interview. But while his words start out sounding like those in an everyday conversation, they soon begin to tell the story of a protagonist in the intricate drama that is BTS.

You worked on the lyrics for “Stay.” Jin: The song opens with the words, “Was it a dream?” and I came up with the theme. We used to see our fans and it was great, but now that’s something we can’t do anymore. I thought it all felt like a dream. I wanted to say, “We used to be so happy together, but now I feel like your very existence was a dream.” I came up with the intro and then talked about it with RM. He really helped me a lot.

I’m guessing you came up with the lyrics because of COVID-19. Jin: It was around two to three months ago that I wrote the lyrics for the song, when it seemed like COVID-19 wasn’t getting any better. I want to put on another concert, and, like I said, it feels like my memories of ARMY were all a dream: Ah, they always used to be there with us, and then they disappeared like a memory—was all that a dream? Will we ever meet again? Those kinds of thoughts.

It sounds like you had a hard time getting used to this new situation. Jin: Yes. That used to be a part of our life for years, so it felt like a part of my life disappeared. When we had a busy schedule to deal with, sometimes I thought maybe it would be fun to have no job, but when that work was no longer there, no matter what I did, even if I poured myself into it, it all became meaningless very quickly. I felt insecure when I had nothing to do, since I’m so used to being busy, and feeling insecure made me think more about the things I like, and what I should do to make myself happier, besides work.

Would you say that’s been incorporated into your work on BE? Just from looking at the album photos, we can see each of you expressing your own thoughts through your room designs. Jin: Mine was the jewel room. They asked me what kind of concept I wanted for my room. I thought about what I wanted to do, and I wanted to go with gems. I was imagining myself lying down with gems all around me, but V, who was the visual director, thought I was joking at first. (laughs) “You were supposed to decorate the room, what do you mean gems?” But still, that’s the image I had in mind, so we went with that concept, except it wasn’t full of gems like I imagined. But I really stand out in the picture, so I’m satisfied with the result.

Why did you choose gems? Jin: Well … I have a sort of free, do-whatever-I-want personality, and at the time, I was really intrigued by gems, so that’s what I chose. This year, with the pandemic, I had more time to think about what I want and the things I want to do, and to try some new things, like playing piano, playing games, not playing games, meeting different people. But still, I can’t tell what I really like. I don’t think I ever thought much about myself, other than the work part. The best answer I found was doing whatever I’m interested in at the moment; is being the truest to myself. I’m more of a feeler than a thinker. Some might say I should have a plan for my future, but I don’t have any. (laughs) I thought that I really just do as I please.

So what does it mean to do as you please? Jin: Like I said, I’m someone who literally lives only in the present, so I tend to forget about the past, and I don’t stress over the future. I know I won’t forget important moments or times I spent with other people, but I’ve forgotten all the bad things that happened in the past and the hard times I had, and I’m really satisfied with my life now and happy to be working hard. How can anyone feel happy over and over again from something that happened in the past, no matter how good it was? You can be happier finding 10,000 won on the ground now than earning 100 times that in the past. I think I’m living true to my feelings by living in the now rather than thinking about the future or the past.

Even though you say you do whatever you’d like, aren’t there things you still need to be careful about, being a part of BTS? Jin: There are things that should be followed as a rule, such as not crossing on a red light, for example. Because if you do, there might be an accident. So those things, I set aside as things I shouldn’t do, so I never really thought of wanting to do them.

That sounds more like self-discipline. (laughs) Jin: It’s the same as not crossing at a red light if you don’t want to get hurt. I can keep myself happy living in the present as long as I’m not doing anything I shouldn’t be doing. Some might feel a bit frustrated, but they might also be the kind of people who cross at a red light. (laughs)

The song “Dis-ease” captures each of the BTS members’ thoughts on work. Is it especially difficult for you, in particular, to separate work from your personal life? Your life is influenced by your work. Jin: To me, work makes a lot of things happen in my life. Naturally there are times I feel stressed because of work, but the work I do makes me happy and has led to some spectacular experiences. Sometimes it’s interesting, other times it might be exhausting. I think I feel an entire spectrum of emotions thanks to my work. I lead my life the way I do because of my work, so to speak.

Just as you did, the other members also expressed on BE their feelings of what they’ve been through. Other than “Stay,” what other songs did you relate to? Jin: I didn’t really think about which songs I relate to, but I can tell you which song I like the most: “Blue & Grey,” by V. I liked that song from the very first time I listened to it, so I listened to the demo over and over again.

What was the demo version like? Jin: When V first made it and gave it to me, it didn’t have the rap part yet. There were no lines for the rap but it sounded really unique. Only the instrumental was there for that part and it felt like it was time for thinking by myself. Of course, I like the full version with the rap, too, but still, I liked how there was space that made you think. It’s been a long time since I got that feeling from listening to one of the demos. The first one was “Spring Day,” and the second was “Blue & Grey.”

It sounds like you found the song right when you needed some time to think. Jin: Yes. Before our debut, I had a clear goal: to debut. I chased after that one goal. After we debuted, I was chasing after a number one hit, and after we got number one I was chasing after major awards. And after that there were a lot of other awards, like from Billboard, and performances to put on, but it wasn’t a goal in the sense that it was my goal to debut. I’m just happy to be working. Every moment is wonderful and has become like my whole life. That wasn’t how I felt when I was a trainee because I had a serious goal then. But now, my goal is to live without overthinking anything. Maybe it’s not really a goal but a kind of defense mechanism.

A defense mechanism? Jin: As you get thinking, you might somehow undermine yourself. So, as long as I don’t think too hard, I can work hard right now. Maybe that’s why I called it a defense mechanism: If I stop and think about it, I might have too many ways to put myself down.

But if you imagine someone else were to have accomplished the same things you have, wouldn’t they think they deserve to feel proud? Jin: That’s true, but I’m also one of seven members of BTS. Thinking about what I’ve done as an individual feels like a burden to me. Up until we finished working on Map of the Soul: 7, I wasn’t burdened but felt, “Okay, we all did a good job. I’m happy with this.” But after getting “Dynamite” to the top of the Billboard Top 100 and starting down this new road, I started to wonder if I deserve any of this.

But you experienced a lot of big things before. What made you think that way this time? Jin: I was waiting for the chart position to come out all day, and then right before bed, Namjoon sent a message to our group chat. That’s when I realized we were number one! I was really happy, but something felt different. Maybe it was because we couldn’t see our fans. After “Dynamite,” we got even more love from even more people, and even when I was walking down the street, people would say things like, “I’m a big fan of yours,” or, “Thank you for introducing Korea to the world.” Then I started to think, “Do I deserve all this congratulations and love? That’s not me—I’m not that kind of person.” I got over it a bit, but even until a few days ago, the pressure was so intense that I couldn’t get any work done.

How did you move away from all that pressure? Jin: I just moved on. Like with COVID-19, we all have to wait and stay put until everything gets better. And actually, after “Dynamite” made number one, we got really busy, so I was able to think less about other things and basically avoid them that way, all those questions about life. I think that’s how I endured.

If you had had the fans there with you, maybe you would have felt less pressure or worry. Maybe it makes what you’re doing now seem incomplete compared to the past. Jin: We did so much and we worked so hard, but the result doesn’t hit you the same way, does it? The—excitement, maybe?—isn’t quite there. There’s a big difference between performing for people and performing for the camera. The performance itself is hard, too, of course. I have to keep at it for months once we start. But when we perform for people, I feel alive.

Had you been able to perform “Dynamite” on stage for your fans, you probably would have felt more love and more confident taking first place. Jin: I want to look and do my best in front of the fans no matter what. It’s a lot more fun when our fans are there, right in front of us. I’m not thinking about anything else in another sense, when they’re there with us.  For people who don’t perform like we do, when they have fun, they don’t think about much else, and just focus on what they’re doing. I think we’re the same way when our fans are around. I don’t have to think about anything else, because my fans are all right in front of me. I just have fun and forget about everything else.

Hopefully you’ll feel like everything is back to normal once you can see your fans again. Jin: At first I thought I’ll probably cry tears of joy. But would I? I don’t really think so. At first I really thought I would, but now I think it might feel like going back home. It depends on who you ask, but I don’t think most people would cry just because they came back to their hometown after being away. I think that’s how I’ll feel: like I’m back where I should be.

Talking to you, it seems like the sense of being loved by your fans must be important to you, emotionally. Jin: You’re right. Getting love from the fans was my source of happiness—what can I compare this to? Like a kid who’s always showered with love by their parents, but then the parents are suddenly gone on a business trip for like, ten months. It’s kind of like that. I was always trying to make our fans smile, make them feel good, by acting cute, but now my parents have been away on their business trip for, ten months, and I’m trying to be cute over a video call. That’s what it feels like. So please, wrap up your business trip as soon as possible, and hurry up and come home so I can show you how cute I am again! And, to COVID-19: Please get lost. (laughs)

Trans © Weverse

[minecraftmobtournament]

I started actually playing right after the aquatic update, though I liked it for I think a year or two before that? It was honestly a bit funny because I loved the Evolution SMP, and the gimmick of it was that they moved through versions of minecraft bit by bit, starting in beta 1.something, so I might have been more familiar with the early version of it right when or w but before I started, aha,,

It wasn't like I was clueless because I did watch Captain Sparklez's original let's play before I ever heard of Grian, but that also was recorded a some few years earlier, and I was VERY confused about why enchanting didn't take up all 30 levels and needed lapis for a while.

...And I also had a major obsession with minecraft as a whole, so before I ever even got it, I planned out exactly what steps to take—exactly how much wood to get, exactly how much cobble to mine, exactly how much food to acquire, exactly how much time it would take to kill each animal with different tools, exactly how much everything basically—multiple times to recheck my work and in multiple variations depending on what biome I ended up in to account for differences in mobs (I read and reread the minecraft wiki section for biomes, and everything else too if we're honest...extensively, to say the least. I had a fair bit of it memorized)

I still somehow was more used to the overall graphics of beta though, since of course all my knowledge about regular minecraft came from the wiki and captain sparklez who I hadn't watched in a while and/or started incorporated mods (this at one point led to me being very sad when I found out you couldn't tame bats with pumpkin pie)? A lot of my rambling probably contradicts itself, but this, to be fair, was a while ago and my memory contradicts each other :')

That's quite a story! It's so fun how there can be all sorts of approaches to playing the game. There's so many details to obsess over and it's really cool how people can use them to be faster, more efficient or just know more about minecraft's possibilities! ✨

Also i think it's kinda funny how people are shocked playing minecraft when they're only used to older versions, different editions or modded minecraft ahjgsk so sorry about the bats tho 🦇

[dollofdeath]

art summaries for this year >w<

template by @/Taxkha

(I / II / III is a comm i haven't posted anywhere / IV / V / VI / VII/ VIII / IX / X / XI / XII)

template by @/sabattons

more stuff under the read more, because there's quite a few stuff i actually liked this year!

january

this was a comm for kiz, but i think it came out pretty bomb. any hypsters who are into projmoon/projmoon fans into hypmic pspspsps --

actually i think this was my first ever piece this year, so it's interesting to see how much i've improved in over the past couple of months!

also i did some comms between feb and may to help raise some money for my relatives in the philippines, but i don't think i should post the ones i really like since the project isn't complete yet. but i think they came out bomb too, trust me -- (the volo art in my art summary is one of these comms lol)

april

i just wanted to post these two together since they're a set LOL thank u arb for giving me flowers that aren't roses to associate with hifugen....

also here are the unblurred versions of this set lol

may

this is just one of my fave hifugen headcanons KJFSDJKJKF

gentaro about hifumi: 🙄😒😑 gentaro about hifumi, when hifumi's fangirls are around: *draping himself over hifumi* excuse me ladies, do you have any business with My man?

KJFSJKDFSJKJH

august

i think i went rly hard in august. august was really a turning point for me this year too i think, so maybe my art reflected that haha, but anyhow. i really love these

everyone and their mom has done a religious jakurai art, but i wanted to do one too... the detail i rly like is the blood on his hands. because i like to headcanon that jakurai has vitiligo on his hands. i like how i incorporated that hc in this without making it too busy lol

THIS ONE. HELL YEAH. this is a redraw of an older art i made for thanatos' anniversary, and i thought the first one was cool but i was like "i think i have the skills to make this even better now" and I DID!!! idk, i'm glad i could capture the horror vibes more poignantly

september

this one is?? i don't think i made her a full reference sheet, i realized lol but i started streaming for friends because i have a bunch of game recs and no attention span to play them WKJGJKD so i decided streaming them so i could be held accountable for them would be the best way to do it LMFAO

anyways this is my pngtuber. they have no name, but she's a shopkeeper of a mysterious antique store. originally that doll on the bookshelf was gonna my pngtuber and i came up with a bunch of lore for her, but then i realized i had another oc design i really dig and was also simpler, so i revamped that for streaming FJKSDJKF but i would like to put that doll to use somehow or another. anyways if u can pinpoint all the references on the shopkeeper and their bookshelf and even her store's very existence, i love u --

catch me on twitch on sundays and mondays for mhyk and ace attorney respectively --

october

as much as possible, i try to do a vanistar anniversary art because noël is my baby boy... i'm so happy with how this year's came out!! ofc there's areas that could use work, but i like the colors and lighting c:

I'VE BEEN MEANING TO DO AN IBERIA AU FOR JAKUDO FOR SO LONG... probably as long as the koibito AU for hifugen, but i just haven't been able to put it into words... i'm glad i could at least do a bit of this year, and i hope one day i can manage the whole concept!! also this idea's been in my head for so long that arb managed to reveal demon designs for both jakurai and doppo, sparing me the effort of designing them myself FSJKJKKJH

this one is also a set, so i wanted to post them together hehe again this is based off a horror rpg concept me and gianna came up together back in high school that will probably never see the light of day lol this probably doesn't surprise anyone who knows us, but these characters are based on us FKJSKJH

wah... i think my artist wrapped really covers what i have to say! quantity-wise, i'm not too happy with how much i made... it can't really be helped considering how busy and tiresome it's been this year, and i really wish i could say i can do more next year, but it's likely i'll be posting less and less in the future TwT but as much as possible, i'd still like to share my work! i think this might be my time to start focusing on original stuff, but i still wanna do fandom related stuff because there's still a lot of ideas and concepts i wanna see realized!! also i just love my fandom blorbos a lot lol, so i'll find ways to do things for them >w<

quality-wise though, i think i'm pretty pleased! last year i got csp, so i was still figuring it out, but now i think i got a better hang of it! and that means my art looks more confident i think haha. of course, there's still a lot of room for improvement, but it's nice that i can look at my stuff and go "yeah i like this!" i'm excited to see where my artistic journey goes from here!!

but yeah, maybe it wasn't a plentiful year for me re: art, but i made some pretty nice stuff despite that! thank you all for the support, and here's to next year!!

[aktiophis]

On The Moon

Okay so I’ve talked a bit about the planetary hours before, and I’m pretty sure I mentioned the Moon, but I sort of want to talk a bit more about the sort of considerations you would give to the Moon in magic. I’m going to try and keep it as much as I can to considerations you can make without knowing how to draw up and read an astrological chart.

So the planetary hours are really one of the simplest ways to time magic. They’re very accessible and for that reason very widely used. That being said, the day and hour of Mars in itself is not going to be as powerful as say, Mars in Aries culminating at the midheaven with the moon waxing to full trine it or whatever. But without going into an in depth look at an astrological chart there are some considerations you can make to add something more to how you time spells or talismans.

The Moon is very important in traditional forms of astrology and astrological magic. It is the closest heavenly sphere, and the influences of the other planets and stars filter down onto the Earth through the Moon. In horary astrology, the Moon is also often treated as an additional significator for the querent. It’s a big deal. Even in folk magic traditions as seen in the Book of Gold (or maybe the long lost friend, or both, I don’t recall), the sign and phase of the moon play a big role in the timing of magic. Even Farmer’s Almanac’s make use of the Moon. So, if you’re to consider only one extra thing, it should be the Moon.

The Moon also happens to be the fastest moving planet, so in terms of accessibility you aren’t going to have to wait 2.5 years for it to change sign like you might with Saturn. Unless something is really time sensitive, you can push a ritual back a day so the Moon changes sign.

I’m going to start with the easiest things to identify and incorporate, and then work the way up to the more borderline chart interpretation stuff.

Phase

The Moon’s phase is just, so easy to work into things. You can really just go out and check what it’s looking like if you absolutely have no other way of ascertaining it by google somehow. Anyone who has picked up a mass market paperback on modern witchcraft/whatever will have read a copy-paste section on how waxing is for increase and waning for decrease. And honestly yeah, that’s about the gist. Most books on Western Magic will prefer a waxing Moon, simply because quite a lot of magic seeks to increase a thing. But you can work to decrease say debt, or illness, or whatever. So just by making your Jupiter talisman in a waxing Moon, that’s a step up.

One thing I will say is at least be aware of when the moon is combust (pretty much the day before and after a new moon, where the moon isn’t visible). In general, for astrological magic, no see planet=no good. There are certainly things this can be good for, and I’ve seen folk magic that specifically calls for this time period, but in terms of a planetary talisman or something of that kind, combustion is generally something to avoid unless there are other circumstances in play, like the planet is in a sign it rules, or Cazimi (which is a very close conjunction with the sun), which is conversely very good, unlike literally every other point of a solar conjunction. 

Sign

You can also consider what sign the Moon is in when selecting a time. Continuing with a Jupiter Talisman, the Moon being in Pisces or Sagittarius works well, because those signs are ruled by Jupiter. That sounds a bit wishy washy, but it’s based on the concept of reception. If the Moon is in a planet’s Sign, that planet is receiving the moon as a guest when the Moon is in said Sign. This in turn gives us a link between the planet and the Moon, which is, to reinforce what I’ve said, the body responsible for focusing the planetary force onto the Earth and something traditional astrologer’s seem to spend a lot of time fussing about. Jupiter receives the Moon by exaltation in Cancer, which could be another one for that example, especially since the moon rules Cancer as well.

Aspect

The Moon being in an appropriate sign is great, but more often what you find books looking for is the Moon aspecting the planet, specifically by a trine or sextile. That would require a chart to be drawn up, and I’m sort of trying to keep this to things that don’t require the ability to draw up a chart or read a wheel chart. So, no degree based aspects. But, if you know where the planet is, so say Jupiter is in Aquarius as of writing, you might pick a day when you know the moon is waxing in Taurus, which is a sign based sextile from Aquarius (a sextile is 60 degrees, so 2 signs. Trine is 120 degrees, which is the same as moving 4 signs. A square then is move three signs and an opposition 6, for completeness). Extra brownie points because the moon exalts in Taurus. A degree based aspect is obviously preferable, but ignoring that, just googling what sign a planet is in and finding a day when the moon is in a sign either 2 or 4 signs onwards or previous is as good as you’ll get.

Beyond this point, I’m mainly mentioning things for completeness, because If the moon is a bit slow but Jupiter is really strong and everything else is good, just do it anyway. Plus these are starting to enter territory where you should really have drawn up a chart and they’re extra considerations to help find the best date for something big.

Lunar Mansion

There are 28 Lunar mansions for the just under 28 days of the Moon’s sidereal period. Christopher Warnock has a good book covering them, but they’re another consideration you can use, and there are a whole class of talismans specifically using the Lunar Mansions for different goals. Naturally if you’re making a Lunar mansion Talisman this will be much higher up the list. I think Lunarium has a widget that shows the current Lunar Mansion.

Speed

So this one I don’t know how you would evaluate  without at least an ephemeris, but there’s probably a calculator somewhere that can tell you what speed the Moon is going at. The idea behind this one is easy enough too: Moon go more fast, magic go more fast. The speed of the planet’s generally is quite important to some astrologers, and William Lilly seems to consider a fast planet a bit more dignified and a slow one a bit more debilitated. 

Void of Course

Lunarium also has a little widget for this, but you should just make the damned chart and get over it at this point. There are a few different definitions of Void of Course which I’ve seen and I’m sure there are people with personal views on what does and doesn’t count, but personally I would consider the moon void of course if it is not currently applying to an aspect with a planet or Lunar Node. There are some that say “if it does not apply within the next 30 degrees” or “before the end of the sign” and a few others, but honestly just pick one and work with it and see what happens. To be honest I think the importance of VoC is overstated, but the idea is if the Moon isn’t applying to an aspect, it’ll be harder to achieve what you want to because there isn’t anywhere for the Moon to work on because it isn’t forming a new connection.

Anyway to tie it all together, without doing too much legwork you can decide you want to do a Jupiter talisman, and it just so happens that on a Thursday the moon is waxing in Pisces and you happen to know that Jupiter is in cancer (it isn’t but just pretend it is). Without having to read a natal chart, you have an election in the correct day and hour, with the Moon increasing it’s light, and the planet you’re working with is strongly placed, (mutually) receiving the moon, and making a good aspect with the Moon. That is quite a step up, and frankly beyond that you’ll want to start learning how to read a chart because this still doesn’t address like, Saturn and Mars. Like honestly by the time you’re addressing void of course you should really know how to read a chart.

[ghoulia-yelps]

Ranking all the Monster High Abbey Bominable dolls!

i was feeling bored so thought i'd rank them all !! (everything past #1 under the cut!)

1. Wave 2 

I feel like this is quite obvious, seeing as this is her basic doll, but still. I REALLY wish i had this one, i think they needed to incorporate more white into the clothes of her dolls, makes her look much more icy.

2. Ghouls Rule

I really like this line in general, lots of detailed designs, but this doll SPECIFICALLY is just so pretty imo. The snowflakes on her dress!!! I actually plan on buying her eventually on ebay.

3. Music Festival

While this one is much much more basic than the last 2, i just find her very nice. Probably one of the few colorful Abbey dolls i like.

4. I Love Fashion 

This one is so simple, but i think it really works somehow? The dress is super cute and so are her boots. And the additional outfits are really nice, I like the shirt and pants a lot.

5. Picture Day 

I actually own this doll!! so in that way i'm probably quite biased. Nevertheless, she's really well made. I was able to buy her off ebay in the box, but this was years ago, and i took her out of it.... I was so stupid back then. 

6. Dead Tired 

I love all of the dead tired line, honestly, its one of my favorites. Theyre very simple dolls... and yet they're just so cute!! They're little slippers are one of my favorite details. The tiny little ice cream too oh my god.

7. Dot Dead Gorgeous 

This one actually comes in a 3-pack set with draculaura and ghoulia, and honestly all three are very nice. Abbey in particular though looks so good! Again, i really like it when they'd put more light colors on her dolls. 

8. 13 Wishes 

Honestly, if her dress was white, she would be way higher. So well made though!! I love the curly hair and gold accents.

9.  Art Class 

While this doll is very simple, i find that it actually manages to really work. I enjoy that pink is an accent color rather than a main one, and that theres something fluffy on her outfit! (one of my favorite details about her dolls)

10. Classroom 

And this is where things start getting a bit less nice. While i think this doll is pretty, she's just missing something, not quite as complex in design as she has the potential to be. On the plus side, however, her hair is really cute!

11. Skull Shores 

I don't have much commentary for this one, other than theres a bit too much purple. She could do with another hat, but the base-doll is beautiful (as always).

12. Scaris: City of Frights 

Although she’s quite low on the list, I actually really like this doll. While Scaris isn’t exactly the most complicated line out there, I find that she makes quite a nice basic doll.

13. Skultimate Roller Maze 

Honestly, nothing against this doll... she's honestly quite nice, but, overall... very in-cohesive color wise. I mean, green...? Roller Skates cool as hell though.

14. Geek Shriek 

All I really have to say about this doll is that I basically like none of this line. the glasses are just a bit cheesy imo, and i wish the outfits were more than these simple dresses. 

15. Coffin Bean 

Cute face and hair, but so boring otherwise. Hasn’t she had these same style of shoes like 2 times already? I’m pretty sure the only cute coffin bean dolls were clawdeen and draculaura. 

16. Sweet Screams

Ugh.... I feel bad for putting such a complex doll so low on this list, but god everything about her is just too much. She’s got that same ugly over saturated color palette as the reboot dolls, despite being made in 2014. maybe i’ll change my mind, but right now all i have to say is that black, deep purple, and bright teal is not a very nice color combo when overdone.

17. Party Ghouls

As with most fans of Monster High, I’m not a huge fan of the reboot. Thankfully though, all of the reboot Abbey dolls are fully articulated! While I don’t really like this particular doll, i must give credit for giving her actual fuzzy material on that dress.

18. Welcome to Monster High

This design is not my taste. Cheesy outfit and cheap plastic fur + those huge eyes don’t make for something all that desirable.

19. 2017 Collector Doll

And finally, we reach the end. This whole outfit + accessories are so garish i don’t even know where to begin. Those eyebrows... That hair... The bright pink shoes out of nowhere. Too much to unpack, why did they do this to her </3

Well, that’s it! I doubt anyone actually read this, but it was very fun to put together, if you’re reading this right now, i hope you enjoyed reading, and i’d love to discuss if others have different opinions!! :)

[groggythoughts]

The Opensource OS Buffet

This post is a summary of my journey to find a replacement OS to Windows on my new computer.

Technically the computer is just contemporary 2022 by any account, it's not bleeding edge nor antiquated. It's no speed demon nor slouch I think: -> Intel N6000 + UHD Graphics -> 8GB RAM + 256GB SSD -> 1080p OLED touch screen -> WiFi + BT -> Front + rear cameras Nothing that any modern OS couldn't handle.. right?

I do have a little list of what to look for in the OS that is going to run this computer: -> light on RAM, CPU, SSD -> sprightly touch friendly UI -> easy-ish configuration -> supports the hardware i.e. CPU, GPU, WiFi, BT, etc. -> pi-hole + unbound to make the internet pleasant-er -> runs Google Chrome & Brave browsers Not terribly demanding by any measure.. right??

So off to DistroWatch.com to check out what's on offer in the world of Opensource OS!

>>> Long story short, I spent weeks experimenting ... >>>

Never have I thought that I would cycle through so many OS to find so few that works with my hardware.

I've cycled through MX Linux / Debian / Manjaro / Slax / Slitaz / PopOS / EndeavourOS / FreeBSD / NomadBSD with no success.

For a time I felt that Manjaro was going to be the OS to be. It supported most of the hardware sans the cameras, ran all of the apps I need .. but pi-hole + unbound somehow always didn't end well. pi-hole would work and unbound too, albeit not in tandem, I just couldn't get them to play together, that's probably my fault for not knowing to configure each that well. It was also rather heavy on RAM at almost 4GB which probably is GNOME's fault. Yes I used GNOME, only because it has better touch screen support than the other Window Mangers and Desktop Environments.

Manjaro GNOME has its quirks, sometimes, something glitches and the UI craps out on me, but generally it works well, is sprightly, but it sips quite a bit of battery juice when in Sleep mode., and Hibernating is almost akin to rebooting which doesn't bode well for just picking up the computer to do a quick search or read or watch something.

The Debians and BSDs were wrote off shortly after their first boot. The problem was they couldn't detect the OLED display. I couldn't control brightness, set resolution or adjust color at all, which Manjaro somewhat managing with exception color adjustment.

Alas poor Slitaz .. honestly, I was hoping that it would be the one that works, but it didn't even manage to boot. I was quite dismayed.

So that is why I almost resigned to using Manjaro seeing that it was the only Linux that actually-mostly-worked on this computer, but .. there was one more OS I wanted to try on this computer, it came on my radar only because it can now run Linux apps, so just maybe, it could fare slightly better than Manjaro..

-> ChromeOS Flex

Back in the day, I'm already aware about Neverware and what they were doing to bring ChromeOS to the average Intel / AMD x86 / x86-64 computers. When they were bought over by Google, their product, CloudReady, became ChromeOS Flex. Now that it is Google-fied, tehre is a whole lot of convenience in keeping my browsing preferences in sync across different computers.

With Google incorporating Linux containers in ChromeOS Flex, this was one avenue I was keen to explore to satisfy my desire for OS-wide ad blocking & DNS identity privacy.

And I am pleased to have finally managed to tinker my way to a working installation of pi-hole with unbound in ChromeOS Flex. It's a little klunky, having to start the Linux VM on every boot for pi-hole+unbund to work, but it works.. for now.