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fourraccoonsinacoat · 1 year ago

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Head Full of Ghosts: Chapter 2

Pairing: Astarion x Dark Urge

Summary: Takes place during the events of Baldur's Gate 3 and explores the romance between Astarion and the Dark Urge, as well as the friendships and relationships she has with her companions. Plus, everyone gives shit to Gale about his cooking. Tags: Slow Burn, Angst, Pining, Humor, Violence, Friends to Lovers, Developing Friendships, Developing Romance, Spoilers for the Dark Urge and BG3 in general, Dark Urge as Original Female Character Rating: Mature (Will eventually be Explicit, just not there yet.) Current Chapter Count: 3/? Read on AO3 (Will post chapters to Tumblr, as well.) Current Word Count: 13,050

Author Notes: I don't just post random Astarion and BG3 nonsense to this blog, I also have an ongoing fanfic! It's currently up to three chapters, and the fourth is in progress. You can read everything that has been written so far on AO3. If it's your cup of tea, I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 2: Getting By

For all of his excitement over the revelation he was now able to survive in sunlight, Astarion would always be a nocturnal animal. 200 years of prowling moonlight-kissed streets and shadow-laden alleyways had ingratiated him to the night, and such longstanding habits were hard to break.

He’d never admit it out loud, and possibly had not even fully admitted it to himself, but he preferred the darkness of the night to the stark light of day. Daylight was a source of exposure. There was no room for secrets in the presence of radiant light, a person’s sins and perversions would be laid bare should they open them up to scrutiny during the day.

But, at night, the world was far more honest with itself. The night was indulgent and protective. Those who would chastise someone for their deviant tastes during the day often slunk off to participate in their own debauchery after dark. The night didn’t care. A person could be as hypocritical, underhanded and insidious as they pleased under the cloak of night. She wouldn’t reveal any secrets, the night was gracious in that way.

And, for that, Astarion was grateful. He would be happy to leave his sins to fester in darkness. There were so many nights he wished to forget. Countless lies whispered under the comforts of shadows, infinite promises broken, and the number of lives he destroyed beneath the cover of dark was untold.

He was a wretched thing, undeserving of the warm comforts of the sun. Wretched things were to be regulated to the night, unfit for the bright revealing light of day. His crimes were too numerous, his sins too horrific.

If he were being honest with himself, he’d admit he didn’t feel deserving of the abilities granted by the illithid tadpole. The day was no place for monsters. And that’s what he was, a monster who had committed countless monstrous deeds over the past 200 years.

So why had Eli’s little outburst bothered him so much? It wasn’t as if she’d said anything he didn’t deserve to hear. He’d been the victim of so many of Cazador’s tantrums. And those made Eli’s little hissy fit from earlier today look boringly tame. He’d endured screaming, yelling, beatings, flayings and so much worse. His mind flinched away from the darker memories, the ones that caused the familiar nausea to stir in his stomach. The nights Cazador had brought company to enjoy the services of his spawns…

He’d remind his guests the stakes and silver were off limits, but any other tools they wanted to use for their private time with the spawns were fair game.

Astarion grimaced and shook his head, as if he could shake off the unwanted images swirling in his mind. Focus. That was behind him. He would never have to grovel for that heathen ever again. He would never be used again. The days of him being passed around like a carcass for Cazador’s vultures to pick at and have their way with were over.

He was the user now. He was the manipulator. He had to be to survive.

And it had all been going well, until today. Until he went just a bit too far and destroyed all his careful planning. All of his work to get Eli to trust him, to get into her circle of protection, to make her believe they were friends with the possibility for something more…he’d fucked it all up. Because of course he did. Because, apparently at some point during his miserable existence, he’d done something to piss off whatever cosmic entity controlled the universe, and now that entity got their rocks off by constantly giving him the proverbial middle finger.

Astarion frowned darkly as he picked through the forested underbrush. The woodland was grim in the bleak night, the moon only a sliver of white light in the dark sky. What weak illumination it did provide was consumed by the forest canopy before it ever made it to the ground. This provided exceptional cover for him to hunt, and for a while his hunger was enough to focus his mind on seeking blood. The forest smelled earthy and old, and Astarion was still adjusting to the cacophony of scents and sounds that were so different from the ones in the city.

Scents of pine and moss instead of perfume and liquor. The trill of a songbird instead of the drawl of a drunken mark. It was…foreign, but nice. Far less chaotic and busy, though sometimes he didn’t mind the chaos of the city. It helped keep him distracted. And distraction was a luxury he wished he had tonight.

But, no…no, the forest tonight was just beautifully serene and enchanting and he hated all of it!

He needed to keep himself out of his head, but with nothing to keep his attention, Astarion kept sinking inward, replaying the events of today and mentally cursing himself for his stupidity. He was disgusted with himself for how he’d responded today. He’d risked everything, his freedom, his protection, his only hope of figuring out what the hell was going on with these tadpoles in their brains…he’d risked all of it because he’d been upset.

Gods below, how pathetic could he get?

How was he supposed to walk back telling Eli he’d celebrate her turning into a mind flayer? The thought of it made him shiver…all those tentacles. Bleh. Ceremorphosis sounded decidedly unpleasant, and there weren’t many people he’d honestly wish it on. There were a few, of course…but none of them were back at camp.

He wouldn’t actually be happy to see Eli turn. In truth, he’d probably be a bit devastated. She was the only one who seemed to be making any progress towards figuring out what these tadpoles could do for them. All the others had balked at the idea of exploring what other abilities their new little hitchhikers could gift them with – well, Gale hadn’t actually been disagreeable about it, but Astarion wasn’t wholly convinced of Gale’s mental soundness, so he didn’t count.

Lae’zel had looked as if she may actually try to set him on fire, sunlight be damned. Eli had to calm her down with reassurances that they were going to look for a creche, as well as a promise that Lae’zel could have the killing blow on the first goblin they crossed paths with that day.

Eli was also the one who’d convinced the rest of their mentally unstable cohort to give him a chance after his…condition came to light. Out of all the bizarre and unnatural things that had occurred over the past few weeks, that was still one of the most unexpected events to have taken place.

Astarion had fully expected Eli to drive a stake into him the night she woke up to him looming over her. He’d had every intention of biting her and drinking of her blood while she slept…perhaps even draining her, his hunger had been so painful that night. He hadn’t been thinking clearly, but even if he had the thought of asking her permission had never occurred to him. It sounded so farfetched as to be laughable. No sane person with control over all their mental faculties would ever agree to let a vampire drink from them. In the 200 years he’d had this condition, the revelation that he was a vampire only ever wrought fear in his victims.

None of them were willing after that…and their screams as he relinquished them to Cazador still haunted the recesses of his dreams and nightmares.

But she’d agreed. She’d let him. She’d put herself in an incredibly dangerous situation that held no benefit for her, and she’d done it for him. He couldn’t wrap his head around it, and he kept expecting her to bring it up as a bargaining chip, or to try and use it as a way to exact some sort of control over him. But she hadn’t, at least not yet. Which was why he’d been planning to proposition her soon with an offer of sex as a way to return the favor. He had no intention of staying in debt to her, and this was an opportunity to keep his plan in motion. If he could bed her, keep her happy and keep her attached to him, then he’d have a far better chance of surviving this insane misadventure.

Problem was, Astarion wasn’t the only person looking to cozy up with their fearless leader. Wyll drooled over Eli so much he was surprised the man didn’t walk around with a bib. There would be others, too. Eli was…

He frowned, trying to parse through the complicated stirring of thoughts that always seemed to crowd into his mind whenever she was the subject of his musings. She was interesting. Beautiful by any definition, her half-drow lineage gifting her with long silvery hair and skin soft and smooth as any he’d touched.

Astarion’s mind wandered, tongue sliding over the back of his teeth as he reminisced over the warmth of her skin against his mouth. The way she’d trembled beneath him when his fangs pierced her neck, her breath quickening against his ear. Gods, she was delicious. The taste of her was something that would be burned onto his memory for centuries, he was sure of it. Astarion wanted so much more than what he’d been given, but he’d agreed to let her be the one to extend the next offer. And after everything, he at least owed her that meager respect.

Except now, she likely never would make that offer. Hells, the next time he saw her he half expected Eli to throw him out of camp.

Astarion suddenly realized he’d been standing out in the forest, lost in his thoughts, for quite some time. He groaned, rubbing at his temple. He may just have to call it for the night, every animal for a mile would have tuned into his presence by now.

Hunt botched by his own hand, Astarion began trudging back towards camp. He was hungry, irritated and now he needed to figure out how to remedy his relationship with their wild-eyed I-will-Eldritch-Blast-you-into-oblivion leader.

Maybe she’d just forget what he’d said to her. Memory loss was kind of her thing, anyway.

“Astarion!”

The pale elf nearly jumped from the sheer amount of…excitement with which his name was called. He couldn’t recall a time when anyone had ever yelled his name with that much enthusiasm - sexual trysts aside, of course.

Astarion stood in the gloom near the edge of the stream that separated their grouping of tents from a nearby aged ruin. He had nearly made it back to camp, feet trudging over a path he had begun to know well due to his nightly prowling. His mind mused over how, only a few short weeks ago, he would not have been capable of crossing the running stream in front of him now. And then she’d called out to him, her voice echoing out from what sounded like a spot inside the battered and fallen down stone structure that had long ago been some grand building with grand purposes.

The voice was buoyant and earnest, and a twist of anxiety tightened in his chest. He recognized that voice as Eli’s, and Eli should be decidedly not excited to see him considering how their last chat went. The only excuse he could conceive of her having was that she wanted something from him. And if that was the case…then maybe the fallout from earlier wasn’t as grim as he’d thought.

He craned his neck to try and catch sight of her. The ruin wasn’t so much a building anymore as it was an ornament upon the landscape. Its walls had long since crumbled and the top of the structure now opened up to the yawning sky, roof rotted away. What little light the slivered moon reflected was hazy and weak, but his darkvision compensated as his keen eyes focused. She was standing near what appeared to be a bench towards the back of the decrepit structure, one hand raised in an over-enthused and slightly erratic wave while in her other hand she held…a bottle?

Astarion’s mouth crooked up in a sly smirk. Was their fearsome and bold leader - the woman whom he’d watched charm tieflings, decapitate harpies and reason with a grown-ass owlbear – getting drunk by herself in the middle of the night?

During his walk back to camp, Astarion had mulled over all the ways he could approach mending the tensions between them. In his mind, all of them had involved a very sober and annoyed Eli and there was a 50/50 chance that the discussion would end with her polymorphing him into a duck.

Zero of these scenarios, however, had involved her drunk, barefoot and knocking about in some rundown ruin like a restless poltergeist.

A practiced and easy smile snapped into place on his face, almost unconsciously, as Astarion made his way to Eli with all the swagger of a fox who’d found a little lost field mouse.

“Hello, my dear,” he cooed silkily, crimson eyes landing upon what appeared to be a rather handsomely embroidered red cloak that Eli had wrapped around her shoulders. He eyed the garment curiously and could not recall having seen it before, and the night was not particularly chilly.

“Now where did this lovely accoutrement come from?” Astarion asked, reaching out and rubbing the hem between his fingers.

It was extremely well made and he could sense the low and staticky undercurrent that tended to vibrate in the air around items infused with magic. This was not some cheap cape, and she certainly hadn’t purchased it from that halfwit merchant in Emerald Grove. The cloak was likely worth more than any of the junk that druid peddled to tourists.

Eli grinned, tipping the neck of the bottle she was holding towards him as he caught the faint scent of currant and cherry. “Would you believe me if I said my demon butler showed up this evening and gave it to me?” she asked cheerily, bringing the bottle to her lips for another swig.

Astarion blinked peculiarly at her, searching her face and waiting a short beat for a punchline that never came. Eli simply watched him with a quirky smile, listing slightly to the left as the alcohol continued to run its course.

“Mmhmm,” he hummed, plucking the bottle from her hand and inspecting its nearly emptied contents. “How many of these have you had this evening?”

Eli squeaked in protest as the wine was usurped from her, hastily reaching to grab it back. “Not enough to begin hallucinating, unfortunately. I didn’t even know I had a butler,” she said as Astarion raised the bottle up and out of her reach, a wily smirk on his lips. “Give it back,” she asserted, like a child who just had a toy snatched from them.

Astarion chuckled and kept the wine just out of her reach as she leaned in to him in another attempt to grab the bottle.

“No.” He met her eyes, brow furrowed in a teasing challenge and expression coyly enticing.

It was so simple to slip back into his charming and roguish persona, like a well-worn coat that fit perfectly every time he put it on. All the little rips in the fabric from past misadventures had been patched as he learned from mistakes and reenforced the farce. He had spent decades learning, testing, crafting and perfecting in order to be whatever his target wanted in that moment. And he was very, very good.

Eli sighed, putting on a show of being frustrated as she leaned back and crossed her arms. “Okay, Withers,” her lips took on a small, self-satisfied quirk as she spoke and the tiniest spark of fondness fired off somewhere deep and distant in Astarion’s brain.

“Thou hast indulged sufficiently at present,” he said in his best impersonation of their grim and ambiguous undead camp counselor. Then, with an effortless smile he added, “Darling.”

Eli short-circuited.

She broke out into unabashed laughter, doubling over as her hands went to her knees for support. Astarion felt a pang of gratification stir in his chest, strangely pleased at having been the source of her laughter.

Taking a step back, Eli sat on the nearby bench, leaning her head up against the stone wall behind it and whiping tears from her eyes.

“Whew,” she breathed out, still grinning. “I haven’t laughed like that since…” her voice trailed off as the smile slowly fell from her face, eyes fixating on the sky above with a troubled and dour sheen to them.

The realization crept up on him slowly that she was trying to recall her life from before the nautiloid and failing. That feeling of gratification now gone, Astarion chewed at his bottom lip for a moment. It was difficult for him to imagine being in the situation she was. His every waking moment was haunted by the memories of the past 200 years. He felt as if his eyes were constantly darting to the shadows whenever he entered a room, expecting to see Cazador or one of his lackeys lurking. A part of him envied her for the memories she no longer possessed, and with that the freedom she had to define her future. But another part of him wondered at the loss and the pain of not knowing one’s own self. Of having no internal sense of true north or identity. The thought of it caused an uncomfortable and tense sensation in his stomach, and suddenly the weight of the bottle in his hand felt a bit more significant.

Clearing his throat, he moved to sit beside Eli on the bench and tipped the wine bottle towards her in offering. Her eyes glanced from his face to the bottle, her expression softening as she took the wine from him.

“You know,” he said, staring at a spot on the ground in front of him with a somber and dark look. “I’d let the mind flayers put ten tadpoles in my brain if it meant ridding myself of some of the memories in my head.” His voice was quiet and held a sense of hesitancy, as if the words might flee from his lips at any moment.

“But, for all of it to be taken…” Astarion paused, collecting his thoughts, before he gave a light huff as a small smile pulled at his mouth. “Well, all things considered, getting drunk all by your lonesome in the middle of the night seems a perfectly acceptable way to cope.”

He glanced back to Eli, who was now staring at him with her head still propped up against the stone wall, light violet eyes flashing like purple fluorite in the underdark. Something was swirling in her thoughtful gaze as she considered him, and Astarion felt both curiosity and anxiety colliding inside his chest as he wondered what her eyes might be searching for.

Astarion had always known his value in the eyes of others was based on the superficial. His worth was measured in the pleasure he brought to partners, in how he made them feel while pressing sweetly whispered lies into their lips. He knew what people saw when they looked at him, always keenly aware of the wayward gazes of strangers as they lingered on his body, their fingers twitching to caress pale smooth skin.

Eli’s eyes, however, were not roaming his body and instead had settled into a calm stare he was finding it somewhat difficult to look away from. It was unnerving, in a sense, and for a moment an irrational fear rose up inside him that she would see past all his frivolity and find him lacking. See the truth behind the façade, that he was just a used up wretch looking to anchor himself to whatever barricade he could put between him and what he knew was coming for him. And then she’d cast him off, because who the hell would want to deal with that?

He didn’t allow the mask to fall, though, and held her gaze with his best come hither stare, tilting his chin down so he peered up at her through soft grey lashes.

“Like what you see, darling?” he asked, voice edged with a suggestive and gravely tone.

He needed to stay in Eli’s good graces, he needed the protection this ragtag group provided. And he’d charm the pants off of her, literally, in order to keep himself safe.

Eli, however, was apparently not on the same line of thought as he was. She blinked back at him, eyes widening and mouth forming into a small ‘O’ as if she were just remembering something. And then she was moving, popping up from the bench and darting past him, walking towards their camp as she tossed some clipped instructions over her shoulder.

“Stay here! I’ll be right back.”

Astarion stared at the empty spot on the bench where Eli had been only a moment ago, confusion and surprise knitting his eyebrows together. That…was new.

When it came to seduction, Astarion held no doubts in regards to his abilities. He was good, and as he perfected his craft it become more and more of a rarity for a mark to turn him down. In fact, in all of his centuries of manipulating targets and entrancing partners, he could not think of a single time when someone had literally fled from his presence while he was in the midst of laying his trap.

“What in the nine hells?” he muttered under his breath, before turning to call after her. “Where are you going?” His voice was a bit more shrill than he’d meant it to be, and he cleared his throat, working to collect himself and gain back some iota of control over the situation.

Eli was halfway across the fallen tree, which served as a makeshift bridge across the stream, when she turned around and threw up her arms, waving him off. “Shush! You want to wake up the whole camp?” she hissed.

And then she was moving off and out of sight, leaving Astarion to wonder how the fuck everything had gone so sideways. He was rather miffed, if he were being honest. No one just got up and walked off in the face of his adoring attention. And what in the hells did she think she was doing, telling him to just sit and wait for her to come back. Astarion didn’t wait for anyone. He wasn’t some bright-eyed eager prey to be toyed with.

Curiosity, however, was getting the better of him. So he sat, sullenly, brooding over how he should just get up and leave. Maybe she’d lied and that hadn’t been her first bottle of wine…it would certainly explain her absurd behavior.

Astarion was still sulking over how offended he was when Eli returned and sat back down next to him on the bench, a new and unopened bottle of something held out towards him. He chuckled, mood lightening as realization dawned on him. Was she trying to get him drunk?

“Aren’t you a sweetheart,” he crooned silkily. “But, I think the camp can only handle one drunken gremlin at a time.”

Eli just rolled her eyes and pushed the bottle into his hands. “You don’t have to drink it right now. I…um…” her jaw tightened for a moment, a look of consideration on her face.

Astarion frowned at her, confused, and then looked to the bottle which she had practically forced upon him. An icy and uncertain pang of surprise settled in his gut as he read the label. Barrel-Aged Callidyrran…a favorite of his. But…how had she…

“You mentioned your preference for it when we were in that apothecary cellar, while you were going off about the amount of ‘unconscionable swill’ being kept down there.” Astarion could hear Eli’s explanation, but he was having difficulty comprehending it.

Why had she remembered such an offhanded and silly comment from him? And why had she then acted on it? What was she hoping to achieve? He just continued to stare at the bottle, brows furrowing in confusion and slight frustration. He could feel her eyes on him, expectant and hopeful, but couldn’t bring himself to look up.

“So,” Eli continued. “When we got back to the Grove, I paid Mattis a few coin to find some bottles. I have no clue how he did it, that kid’s potential is highly underutilized at present, but he had two of them the next day. So, I added them to our camp supplies thinking it could be a nice surprise, but…” her voice trailed off and Astarion finally looked to her, expression guarded and hesitant.

He noticed the flush of her cheeks and could hear the quickening of her heart. He was suddenly very aware of the blood rushing just below her skin, his tongue rubbing at the back of his teeth as he recalled the phantom taste of her. If there was something she wanted from him, she didn’t need to try and bribe him with favors and trinkets. She already possessed something he dearly wanted, though he would never be so bold about blatantly saying so.

Eli held his gaze for a moment before glancing sideways and running a hand through her long silvery hair, pushing it back from her face. “Well, I noticed that you don’t seem to get into the camp supplies, which make sense because the whole vampire thing.” She shrugged to herself and then looked back to him, eyes focused with an edge of determination.

“So, I wanted to give this to you and also say that I’m really sorry for what I said to you earlier today. It wasn’t fair or right of me to go off on you like that,” Eli said, concluding her explanation and allowing a long moment of silence to pass between them.

Astarion’s mind was spinning. For one thing, it had never even occurred to him that the collection of supplies which they hoarded at camp could be used by anyone. He had simply assumed those supplies were managed by someone that was not him, and that he was not allowed access. A habit carried over from living under Cazador’s rules for so long. He had so few worldly possessions, and anything he did possess was either expressly given to him or acquired through more clandestine means. The thought that he could just take whatever he wanted from their shared stash was almost intimidating, and completely foreign.

What was even more foreign, though, was the act of being given a gift. The concept that someone had remembered something he’d said, and then cared about it enough to actually act upon that information.

His mouth had gone dry and an uncomfortable sensation was prickling between his shoulder blades. No, people didn’t just give him things without having expectations. There was always a cost, always a burden to be met. People weren’t kind just for the hell of it, and they certainly weren’t kind to him. Nor did they apologize out of the goodness of their heart.

No. Eli was playing at something and Astarion wanted to know what it was.

“What do you want?” It came out a bit more accusatory than he’d meant it, but he wasn’t going to balk.

Eli was under no obligation to apologize for what she’d said to him. If she were to cut him out of the group tomorrow, Astarion doubted anyone would miss him. Plus, with him gone the group’s odds of survival may rise given the fact that without him there was no threat of running afoul of any hunters who Cazador may have sent after him. He, on the other hand, very much needed to stay in Eli’s good graces. She had the upper hand here, so why was she acting as if she didn’t?

Eli, looking a bit taken aback by his blunt question, considered her next words for a moment before answering. “I guess…I want to make sure we’re still friends?” she asked, watching him carefully.

Astarion was not a man who often found himself without words. But in that moment, he was struck dumb. Friends? What a childish and idiotic concern. Surely, that wasn’t all there was to it?

He watched her quietly for a moment, waiting for the other shoe to drop. For her to end the charade and come clean. But she stayed quiet and simply looked back at him with a tired earnestness that wormed its way into his stomach and twisted it up in knots he wasn’t unsure how to undo. It was slowly dawning on him that, if Eli actually meant what she was saying, this would be the first gift someone had given him in over 200 years.

His eyes slid back to the bottle in his hands and his chest tightened, expression softening as something almost sad flitted across his face. His thumb traced over the deep green glass while his mind whirred and sputtered around what Eli had said. He honestly couldn’t think of the last person he’d considered a friend, and there was a small part of him that desperately wanted to reach out and cling to this offering of friendship like a man drowning.

He didn’t understand any of this. Didn’t understand why she cared. Why she’d remember his pointless offhand comments. Why she’d try to mend the rift between them when she had nothing to gain from doing so.

Why the tightness in his chest was suddenly making it hard to breathe.

He found he had to clear his throat before he was able to speak, and when he did his voice was reticent and soft, unable to mask the skepticism clawing at his thoughts.

“Of course, my dear,” was all he managed as he looked back up to her, the normally effortless and velvety tone of his words cracking ever so slightly.

His response seemed acceptable to Eli, because the relief that broke out on her face was noticeable. She smiled at him, and he could see the fatigue in the way her shoulders sagged and her eyes wavered while she held his gaze.

“I guess I owe you a thank you for this,” Astarion said, indicating the wine which he still held.

Eli stood, stretching her arms above her head as she replied. “You don’t owe me anything. But, it’s appreciated,” she said warmly as she began walking in the direction of camp. “I’m going to try to get some sleep. If that creepy butler of mine comes back, kindly tell him to fuck off.”

Astarion watched her leave and felt a small fond smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He quickly dismissed it and stood, feeling his own weariness beginning to take hold. As he made his way towards his tent, he kept a firm grip on the bottle of Barrel-Aged Callidyrran, carrying it as if it were something delicate and precious.

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threegodkings · 2 years ago

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alhaitham/cyno [2.5k]

quick lil warm up for the other fics i gotta finish this weekend (ok this spiralled out of control a little but it's fine it's cruisy LMAO) --- as a general rule, things i write for tumblr on any of my blogs stay here and don't get transferred elsewhere but this is long enough that i will Possibly put it on ao3 later... possibly

edit: ao3 link

The Liyue night sky isn’t the overwhelming expanse found in the desert, where the stars are so distinct that they’ve been used for navigation for as long as stories have been told, but the moonlight plays over Cyno’s skin all the same, so Alhaitham will take it.

He watches as Cyno looks over the land. The General Mahamatra is always a pleasure to watch in action, moving with lethal grace and pulling his punches with precision every time.

Once, a week or two after Dehya returned from Fontaine with a samurai who had recited poetry that made Lumine smile and handed her a bag of gifts for mutual friends that was roughly the size of Paimon, the three of them had ended up in the desert. Lumine had offered to join them, but Cyno had sent her on her way with gentle hands and a request to stop by Gandharva Ville to let Collei know he might be a little late for their TCG training session, but he wouldn’t miss it.

He had said it with such steady conviction that Alhaitham felt it, bone-deep. But he hadn’t been able to look away from Cyno’s hands.

That particular trip had ended in Dehya cussing out a group of Eremite-breakaways while she used the hilt of her claymore to knock one out before flinging it to the side to sock someone else in the stomach, Alhaitham translating the runic carvings as fast as he could while flicking dendro shards towards the stray attack that got past Cyno, and Cyno whirling his staff around with such deft precision that Alhaitham wished he could turn around and study him instead.

Everyone survived the ordeal, of course; Dehya said she doesn’t believe in punishing thickheadedness with death, or else the two of them would have ended up at the other end of her weapon that first fateful day in Aaru Village, and Alhaitham had done his part in unlocking the key to spit all of them from the tomb.

And Cyno, well --

It doesn’t need clarification, Alhaitham thinks. The oath of the General Mahamatra is writ in stone and hasn’t changed since its genesis, but Alhaitham doubts anyone has held to it as intently as Cyno. It’s not a slight against his predecessors; it’s just that Cyno’s dedication to justice and his oath is second to none.

The Akademiya looks at the General Mahamatra and sees a punisher, but in truth, he’s always been a protector.

None shall come to harm under his watch.

So -- the General Mahamatra is always a privilege to observe, with his unparalleled tenacity and exacting movements.

But here, tonight, beneath the full force of the Liyue night sky, Alhaitham does not observe the General Mahamatra, but Cyno.

With a swallow, Alhaitham takes a step forward.

“Finally,” Cyno says. Alhaitham raises an eyebrow, but does not speak. It’s not really a surprise. It’s a rare beast indeed that manages to get the drop on the General Mahamatra (or Cyno, or the Wolf of Spantamad, or the Judicator of Secrets, or any of the thousands of things he’s been called over the years, as if to name a thing is to define it), and Alhaitham is nothing so unique. He is but a feeble scholar, after all.

“Your thoughts are so loud,” Cyno adds. Alhaitham looks down at him as he steps closer, closer, all the way until they stand side-by-side. There is a space between them that Alhaitham only knows how to define as the absence of touch; he’s so aware of Cyno’s presence, his skin prickling with Cyno’s errant warmth, that if he could not see the small distance between them, he wouldn’t believe it there at all.

“They only seem loud relative to the dearth found in others,” Alhaitham retorts. There’s a smile glimmering at the edges of Cyno’s lips before he rearranges it into a frown. Alhaitham maps the path of it in his brain.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Cyno says, and it feels like something else. Alhaitham doesn’t think about that, doesn’t think about anything at all except for the way Cyno’s hands look right now, resting on the railing of Wangshu Inn’s balcony, moonlight spilling over each ridge and groove.

“You weren’t surprised to see me,” Alhaitham points out, and Cyno shrugs.

“That’s not the same thing,” he says.

After a moment, Alhaitham nods, a slow thing. Like honey, or the way Lumine smiles when her eyes are sad, or Cyno’s breathing when it’s late at night and there’s nothing in the world except all the stars to guide them.

“What brings you to Liyue?” Alhaitham asks. He looks at Cyno, drinks him in unabashedly. It’s a recently-discovered benefit to interrogation: a free pass to look directly. Recently-discovered isn’t quite correct. Recently-valued, maybe. It’s not a new thing, after all; it’s just that Alhaitham has never cared about it before.

(Cyno’s gaze is always unflinching. Sometimes Alhaitham thinks about the way Cyno always looks at him, no matter the circumstances. Cyno does not hide behind excuses. Nor does Alhaitham, usually, but there are some honesties easier to swallow when clothed in rationale.

This feeling really is a vexing thing, Alhaitham thinks, to compel him to explain his behaviour, even just to himself. The lack of explanation provided for anything he does unless demanded has always been one of his most charming qualities, in his opinion.

(Okay, so Dehya had laughed in his face when he said as much to her in Lambad’s Tavern once, but he’s decided to ignore it. Peer review is an important part of scholarship, but unfortunately for him, he can count his options (read: people he respects) on one hand, and given that one is a god and another makes his chest ache unintentionally, he ends up with Dehya laughing at him a lot.))

“The pursuit of treasure,” Cyno says, tone completely serious, which --

Alhaitham blinks. What a completely unexp—

Oh. Scratch that. He does know what this is, courtesy of Dehya dragging him and Lumine out to drinks after the Traveller’s return from Mondstadt. Cyno had joined them later, having been in Gandharva Ville with Collei and Tighnari, but he’d been a popular topic of conversation prior to his arrival.

(Alhaitham is not above soaking up all information he can, and certainly not about subjects of interest—if Cyno was such a thing back when all he learned of him was through distant observation and the sages’ record of him, he is something all the more important now. Still, for the record, it wasn’t him who pressed for further details—that was all Dehya. Of course, Paimon was all too happy to oblige, immediately launching into an indignant recounting of a joke about ground nuts. Alhaitham was entirely innocent in the matter, thank you very much.)

He recalibrates. “Makes sense,” he says casually, nodding slowly. Cyno’s eyes flick up, scanning his face, and Alhaitham continues, “Just as I would expect from such a renowned adventurer.”

There’s a smile glimmering on Cyno’s lips, and that makes this whole thing worth it.

“And you?” Cyno the Adventurer asks, looking at Alhaitham like -- like he’s a memory in the process of being made, maybe. Something worth tracking the motion of, worth learning by heart. It makes Alhaitham’s cheeks heat up, just a little. “Are you an adventurer too, to have heard of others?”

“Me?” Alhaitham asks, tilting his head. “Oh, no, nothing so exciting. I am just a feeble scholar.”

Cyno’s expression does something complicated, goes somewhere between wry and -- something just shy of disappointment. It makes Alhaitham’s bones ache.

“I see,” Cyno says.

It’s not born out of rationality, what Alhaitham does next. One might even be forgiven for thinking it uncharacteristic, although they would be incorrect. That’s not their fault, though; Alhaitham suspects that most people in Teyvat would come to the same conclusion.

Increasingly, however, he thinks some of the citizens of Sumeru—mostly those who float around the Akademiya, like a handful of the matra and maybe two or three of the scholars who regularly haunt the (Acting) Grand Sage’s office with their endless paperwork, but also the various people who burrowed their way into his life (despite his best efforts) through camaraderie and a successful coup against the autocratic geniocracy that tried to make a new god—have started to notice these shifts in his behaviour. It’s not that he eschews rationality, exactly; it’s just --

Alhaitham looks at Cyno’s hands again. Recurring theme.

There’s something about Cyno that recalibrates Alhaitham’s worldview. That sounds more dramatic than it is, he thinks. It’s not like he’s changing, or that logic falls wayside; it’s just that if Cyno is in the room, Alhaitham is always aware of it, in a way that feels so much more present than his normal (already stellar) observational skills. It’s not just information he registers to sort and sift through. He wants to know. If Cyno is there, Alhaitham wants to know.

If Cyno is there, Alhaitham wants.

That’s the only reason he can think to provide for why he reaches out and captures Cyno’s hand, sweeping his thumb gently over the back of it. One, two, three.

Cyno sucks in a breath, but he doesn’t pull back, just trains that endless gaze on Alhaitham.

“Yes,” Alhaitham says. “I’ve been contemplating two areas of study in particular for my newest paper.”

“Oh?” Cyno asks. He sounds -- in all honesty, he sounds almost exactly the same as ever, but Alhaitham knows him well enough now to detect the glint of amusement in his voice, the way it wars with a touch of wariness. He thinks there’s affection too, or fondness, at the least, but he’s sent back enough documents for review to overzealous scholars to acknowledge that he’s not an objective enough observer to make draw such a conclusion.

Still, he hopes.

“Mm,” Alhaitham hums. “The usage of the Liyue nightscape for both guiding and illuminative purposes,” he says, eyes dropping back to Cyno’s hands. Years ago, Alhaitham read a book suggesting that the triangulation of stars in Liyue does not obey the same rules of equations as the night sky in Sumeru. The implications of such an argument were fascinating and thorny, the exact sort of thing he likes to muse upon, but right now, in this moment, Alhaitham finds his attention much more occupied with the way the moonlight plays over Cyno’s knuckles, spilling over each ridge and faded scar.

“That’s one,” Cyno says. His eyebrow is arched, but not as dramatically as Dehya’s would be, not like an accusation. It’s something softer. Alhaitham has the stray thought that playacting aside, he could quite easily spend his time studying the rhythms of Cyno, all his minute motions and barest tendencies. It’s perhaps the only similarity Alhaitham can find between himself and the former sages, although their motivations differ drastically.

“So it is,” Alhaitham says. He looks up from Cyno’s hands, lips tugging into something crooked. “Hands, then.”

“Hands,” Cyno repeats, and Alhaitham nods. The look Cyno gives him in response is incredulous. “Well,” Cyno says slowly, like that ajilenakh nut syrup Dunyarzad likes to drizzle on her breakfast, “as it would happen, I possess hands.”

He says it with such a straight face that Alhaitham almost snorts. Coughing lightly into his hand to disguise it, Alhaitham says, “So you do.” A moment later, he adds, “Ones currently illuminated by said nightscape.”

Cyno’s lips turn up at the edges, in that rare kind of smile that used to catch Alhaitham off guard. These days, he chases it.

“That’s two out of three,” Cyno says.

Alhaitham dips his head in agreement. “I’ve heard that a handful of the most experienced adventurers know how to navigate through the stars,” he says, looking directly at Cyno.

He’s looking back.

“Perhaps a renowned adventurer such as yourself…”

Cyno lets out a light huff of laughter. If Alhaitham wasn’t so attuned to his presence, he’d have missed it.

“And if I could?” Cyno asks, too casually.

Alhaitham tilts his head. He commits the sight to memory: Cyno, looking out over Bishui Plain, the night breeze rustling his hair, and moonlight spilling over his skin. He flicks his gaze away from Liyue’s landscape, back to Alhaitham’s face, and leaves it there. There’s a slight smile at his lips. Alhaitham’s heart aches, the way it does when you read something revelatory for the first time, and are immediately aware of the fact that it will never be new again. It’s not a bad thing; it’s just a pressing ache in your chest, the type that was always rare for Alhaitham, dotted only a few times throughout the timeline of his life.

These days, though, it is a recurring theme. Like being around Cyno, sometimes, is too big to hold.

“If you could…” Alhaitham says, drawing it out. He huffs a breath, a little wry. “I may be a mere scholar, but when my interest is piqued, I am quite resourceful, if I do say so myself.” A beat, then, “Once I start something, I always see it through.”

Sometimes that means exploring it to its limits, and then discovering it is not as intriguing as initially thought. In those cases, Alhaitham has no qualms about dropping it and moving on. That’s still seeing it through, in his opinion; he’s taken it to the extent to which it has value to him, and once that has been exhausted, he leaves it be.

There is not a single bone in his body that thinks Cyno will ever be that to him, not even for a moment.

Cyno’s breath hitches. He looks over Alhaitham intently, like he’s decoding all the things he did not say from the knot of his arms, the line of his wrist, the curve of his cheek. Who knows? Maybe he is. If anyone could, it would be him.

“You’re in luck, scholar,” Cyno says finally. He flashes a smile -- small and quick, but so warm and unexpected that Alhaitham’s neck feels hot. “I know how to follow the stars.” He turns his head back towards Bishui Plain, but Alhaitham can still see a glimpse of his profile. There’s something warm and easy in the set of his lips, almost teasing. “Does that pique your interest?”

Yes, Alhaitham wants to say, you always do.

In the back of his head, Dehya scoffs. You academic types have the worst foreplay, she grumbles. Can’t you just be in love like a normal person? ‘I am quite resourceful’ -- Kusanali save us, just ask him to dinner next time, I’m fucking begging.

Ignoring his unfortunately canny projection of her, Alhaitham dips his head again, resting his hand on the railing. They do not touch, but his fingers are close enough to Cyno’s that he can feel the warmth emanating.

“Yes,” he says simply. He exhales, a little teasing. “I do believe I will be seeing this through.”

In the back of his head, Dehya is groaning, banging her head against his skull, but Alhaitham can’t bring himself to care, not with how Cyno looks right now: eyes shining, smile glimmering at his lips, with the full force of the Liyue night sky shining behind him.

#haino #cytham #cyno #alhaitham #i started counting kazuha and lumine's mutual friends through various events and gave up after seven lmao #the pacing in this is probably as wild as most things i end up writing quickly for tumblr (or twt for that matter) tend to be #but i might put it on ao3 later Maybe i will figure it out later #i wrote this on tumblr so putting it in my wordcounter app made me like 😵‍💫#this was actually just a warm up to get me in the zone for this OTHER hainotham fic i'm writing lmao but... it spiralled...#it is 6am tho so i will decide abt putting it on ao3 later lol #mine

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sweetsunshinedarling · 10 months ago

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Posted with no tags because I honestly just want to post my thoughts into the void, plus don’t want to upset the crowd that put blog peter on a pedestal as they’re entitled to their opinions and everyone has different thoughts on the same thing. Mostly just ill today and getting my thoughts down somewhere.

Ok, so I very occasionally see people state that they believe the Tumblr blog was false advertisement and/or Blog Peter is too different to game Peter. Everyone has their own impression and opinions but I just don’t see it or get it? I think it down to 4 major things.

1) People read and took in what they wanted to from the blog. Ignoring the implications of any darker posts.

2) Peter lacks agency in the blog. There is no player character to interact with for him to actually do anything and therefore you can assume he wouldn’t do anything to bad.

3) There were a lot of lighter, fluffier questions because that's what people wanted to ask. Game Peter is also sweet, but he’s on a time limit and has agency so you don’t get as much as the blog. While blog Peter went from 2019 till 2021, had no agency and got mostly sweet questions.

4) the games time to tell a story is limited the blog went from 2019 till 2021 and had all the time in the word to focus on more mundane things. While the game has to, you know, tell a story, keep you hooked etc.

There's more to it then just the above but I think these are the 4 key points. I’ll go into each in more detail but for transparency my introduction to the game was seeing day 1 played, reading the website, reading through the blog in full, looking through the deviant art stuff, THEN playing the game.

I surprisingly didn’t get day 2 or 3 spoiled until I played them. I can’t usually stand dating sims when they are just dating sims. I cringe and dialogue etc BUT I really like dating sims with some kind of twist, so like horror or comedy. I mostly stick to more traditional video games and not really VN.

So, I looked into this because it seemed interesting but also to try and figure out if I would like it. I went into it wondering how much it would be horror and how much it would be a dating sim. I personally had no expectations of it falling either way. Even after reading through the Tumblr. Basically, I figured it could go full horror with the fake dating sim opening or just a spice of horror but mostly dating sim and anywhere else on that spectrum.

1) Ignoring the bad. Lots of these are from 2019.

Again important that this version of Peter is UNABLE to do anything physical. The ask blog just had him stuck in a white void. There is no player character to act as avatar for the player. He is behind the screen ONLY able to use words. He is also unlikely to say anything to scare away his audience and yet he is still threatening to do exactly what he would go on to do in the game. Posts like this are scattered throughout the blog.

I will show more examples. But yeah, I do wonder how people think he would manage to tie you to the bed but in like a soft none hurty way. Like blog Peter threatens to take away my agency, but he's super vague about it and therefore not as cruel as game Peter :)

He’s also skipping out the middle man here, he isn’t talking with Y/N and he isn’t talking to any other NPC that would just resurrect when the game loops around again. He is talking to YOU.

And some more examples! These are from 2019 when the blog started. Just Peter threatening murder, doing “Anything” to keep you and also disregarding your feelings in a threatening manner!

And again important note THIS PETER HAS NO AGENCY. He isn’t able to take any action against you. There is no vessel for the player. He is behind a screen and still threatening to do stuff.

The horror element of the blog came from leaving that up to your interpretation of what he could do. A basic rule of horror is to sometime leave stuff up to the imagination of the viewer! We have a tendency of (for survival) imagining the worst possible outcome. However, if you had solely focused on the cuter posts you MAY also simply over look these posts or give him the benefit of the doubt that he surely wouldn’t do anything to bad. But like come on these were absolutely advertisements for the horror element of the game.

Plus, you know, the whole manipulation thing. If he can’t do anything to keep your attention then he’ll be all bubbly and sweet to keep you there and these asks are likely a glimpse into a less controlled version of him slipping through.

2) Peter lacking agency.

I have already touched on this in the above but its exactly what it says on the tin. Blog Peter had to rely more on manipulation then anything physical because he had no avatar of the player and therefore no (almost) physical access to them.

Side note: I feel like I should also point out that I personally don’t see Peter as someone that would point blank commit r*pe or do more damage then he thinks he has to.

It is however important to point out that he is aware that Y/N is an avatar for the player. He is aware that none of them are real in the same sense that we are and therefore he is able to manipulate himself into thinking his actions aren’t THAT bad or at the very least excusable to get what he wants.

What does it matter if he kills TK, they’ll be back when the game loops. Knocking Y/N out is just a game mechanics to get from one place without issue to another. He’s would do ANYTHING (refer to image 3 above) to keep YOUR attention. That's were the horror element comes from. How corrupted can he get, how much of this is our fault? I mean we are the one playing the game over and over. Putting him through this over and over to the point that its corrupted him. Etc. Etc. Like really all of this is for another post, but thought it best to mention.

3) Fluffier questions. They were answering what people asked and a lot of questions were the typical, “What's your favourite colour Peter!” kinda thing. The game doesn’t have the time to focus on any of this. It also would be horrible story telling if it just randomly had a 20 minute section of just this stuff. So peters sweeter moments are far narrowed down. Examples of questions for the blog below that you just could fit the same quantity you got in the blog on the game.

Also, if you just so happened to focus on these questions and focus less or point blank ignored the implications of darker questions then I can understand if you thought he was practically harmless, but it isn’t as if it wasn’t advertised. You just ignored it.

And in some cases they still tried to use darker wording to allude to shit

Or just point blank suggest he watches you masturbate etc through the computer. But you know, I guess overstepping these boundaries is fine?

Like the nice posts aren’t wrong. Peter would 100% do all this nice shit for you. In game Peter even does nice stuff and would likely will do more if given the opportunity.

Like this is 100% canon. This is what Peter truly wants. HES JUST WILLING AT THIS POINT TO DO ANYTHING TO GET IT.

ANYTHING. Also, People commit violence against him isn’t often brought up? Peter is just manipulating a game mechanic when he does shit, everyone but him will reset, but he remembers everything that's happened to him.

Like ???

4)The games time to tell a story is limited the blog went from 2019 till 2021 and had all the time in the word to focus on more mundane things. While the game has to, you know, tell a story, keep you hooked etc.

Again this is kind of on the tin. Not much I can add to this. The game has multiple routes. To try and make it make sense they have to be careful about what they put into the game and the more they put in the more complex it is and the more they open themselves to plot holes etc.

You do get examples of Peter being sweet but they also have to crack on with the story and actually get to the horror, the game to me was ALWAYS advertised as a horror dating sim. I don’t think there was false advertisement at any point. At least not on purpose. There were always plenty of warnings. Its not like DDLC which had a health warning followed by 3-4 hours of a dating sim and then a horror game. The signs were there form early in the blog in 2019! A lot of these post are from 2019! And the website etc always showed it to be a horror dating sim. Even the character designs lean towards horror over dating sim.

Some minor points as well are the idea that if you followed the blog and didn’t go through it, there is a good chance you could have missed some of the darker posts and saw more of the wholesome posts as they were posted. Unintentional from the creators, but you would have ended up with a different impression and once you have a set thought on the guy you tend to down play or ignore anything that contradicts the idea of him being a good boy and focus on stuff that proves that point of view.

I also don’t think Peter is capable of really extreme shit that you see in games that are JUST horror. He is very corrupted and WILL do fucked up shit, but usually it’s if he’s pushed (abuse route or running out of options) and again, he’s working in a universe were none of them are real, his actions don’t have any lasting impact and Y/N isn’t actually their but just a device for the player to be attached to. He knows all this. The guy has likely gone through the game already like a zillion times at this point with no sign that it’s going to stop and he is programed to be obsessively in love with you by a creator that fucking loves to destroy him. And YOU are putting him through this again and again. Maybe even torturing him a bit each time. He has like groundhog day morals at this point, because none of it’s gonna stick anyway and he has to have you. All stuff that makes it a horror game in different ways.

So, I personally don’t get the false advertisement argument like at all? Also, hopefully goes without saying, either way I do not condone anything Peter does in either the blog or game that is morally wrong, but I think part of the horror comes from how much you the player and Peter’s moral compass can be corrupted based on circumstances. Like what he and you the player are capable of doing while talking yourself around to thinking its ok or that it’s somehow deserved.

Just thoughts on something I didn’t ever get when I saw it. Posted without tags on a blog with zero followers because this blog is just to shoot my thoughts into the void to be honest. If this is found, I am also not trying to shit on anyone’s opinions, these are just my thoughts and I am not saying my views are anymore right than anyone elses! It just always confused me that people make excuses/ play up blog Peter to be a completely different character than the game version? But maybe it’s because I came into the game from a background of playing video games in general, with a good helping of horror.

#adding tags so I can find #ybg peter #ybg #thoughts

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steppingstonesuniverseguide · 1 year ago

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One More Step Out of the Pit: Chapter 5/26

Summary: It had been Tommy and Tubbo for practically forever. They clawed their way out of hell together. They discovered their superpowers together. They started working for the Superhero Guild together before even coming of age. Tommy probably owed Tubbo his life ten times over. So, when the three supervillains he'd been assigned to bring in managed to take Tubbo hostage, well, there was really only one thing to do.

He knew, of course, he was signing himself up for torture and death by offering that trade, but that was okay.

It'd have to be okay.

AO3 Link (See AO3 for Warnings.)

(This story is finished and has been posted on AO3 for a while, but I'm posting it on Tumblr so it's somewhere else too (considering the day AO3 was down a bit ago). The author notes will all be kept as well. If you are following the blog and don't want to see these posts, block the tag #backlog.)

This was fucking shit, Tommy thought. He’d just wanted to buy break and milk, but instead he’d ended up having to spend his money on the shitty first aid equipment the little store had. The nasty lady had slipped him some extra bandages and disinfectant. Tommy didn’t know if she’d bought them with her own money or stolen for him, but he didn’t ask. He’d have plausible deniability if anyone asked. She’d also bought him a bus ticket, so he didn’t have to walk all the way back to the apartment. She hadn’t even complained about him doing wound care on the floor of the shop, had helped him out even, though she obviously didn’t know what she was doing with medical stuff. She’d been a bit pale by the end. Tommy forgot that some people were simply lucky enough not to know how to stitch up wounds on themselves. Still, she’d done her best. Maybe he should stop calling her nasty lady in his head.

Now he was at his apartment building, slowly pulling himself up the stairs. He was able to use his powers a bit to help, but he couldn’t get enough momentum to fly up the stairs without hurting himself, so mostly had to take the slow way. He felt like he was fucking dying, though the stab wound hadn’t gotten anything too bad, and he probably wasn’t going to actually die as long as Tubbo could get him antibiotics.

For now, he’d cleaned the wound with saline, and he knew they had three leftover pills in the bathroom cabinet from the last time they’d needed antibiotics. (You were supposed to take them all, but they always tried to leave one just in case.) That’s the first thing he went for when he made it to the apartment, downing two of them and saving the third for later.

Then came the task of carefully removing the ruined sweatshirt (he’d already cut it and the t-shirt underneath to get it out of the way). He frowned at it, hoping Tubbo wasn’t too sad it’d gotten ruined before using a washcloth to clean himself up around the bandages the best he could.

Then he all but collapsed in bed. He glanced at his phone and saw that his shift was set to start in under two hours. He couldn’t afford to not go in for the day, but he also didn’t think he’d be able to walk to headquarters, let alone work. He’d have to call in. Maybe they’d be willing to put him on half pay for desk duty until moving didn’t feel like being stabbed again. It wouldn’t be the best financially, but he and Tubbo had survived worse.

He needed to call into HQ. God… he really did not want to have to tell Dream about this. He was contemplating just simply not doing that and going to sleep. He could blame it on the blood loss.

Yeah, that wouldn’t go over well. Just as he was about to give in and dial the number, there was a soft beep.

Tommy froze and looked at his wrist. It was something they’d gotten down in The Pit before escaping out of the barrier. Most people on the surface wouldn’t recognize it and they’d hidden it under weaved together yarn in the shape of bracelets just in case (‘Friendship bracelets!’ Tubbo had enthused. ‘Clingy bastard,’ Tommy had replied with an eyeroll.) It was a simple spell that appeared as a red mark on both of their wrists. If either of them were in danger, they just had to squeeze their fists in a certain pattern and it would beep and glow on the other one’s wrist.

Which was what it was doing now.

He was out of the bed the next moment. His wound protested, but Tommy shoved aside the pain. There were more important things going on. Tubbo was on his superhero shift and he’d just pressed their panic button.

He was on a superhero shift and he’d just pressed their panic button!

Tommy could barely breathe as he grabbed his superhero costume and pulled the red fabric over his head. He felt the motion pull at his stitches and tried to go a bit slower, but ultimately it didn’t matter right now. He pulled on the matching pants and slapped on his mask before bolting out of the apartment. He didn’t bother to take the steps, hopping over the railing and hitting the ground probably a little too hard even while using his powers.

He didn’t even remember 90% of the trip by the time he busted into the Superhero Guild’s headquarters. “Where is he?!” he asked the first person he saw. They just looked confused, so he impatiently shoved past them. “Where’s Tubbo? What happened? Where is he?” he asked everyone he saw as he shoved though the office, even though most of them probably didn’t even know Tubbo by name.

The only thing that stopped Tommy’s rampage of panic was Dream suddenly standing in front of him. “Tommy,” he said, his tone saying many things that Tommy was very much not listening to right now.

“Where is he?” Tommy asked. “Where is Tubbo. Tell me right now!”

“Calm down, Tommy,” Dream said, his voice even.

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Tommy yelled. “Where is he? Tell me!”

“Tommy,” Dream’s voice held a warning even someone not familiar with his temper could recognize. “Stop this right now.”

“No! I-”

He was interrupted by a sharp stinging slap across his cheek. There was a moment of stunned silence in the office. Tommy imagined everyone was probably looking really uncomfortable right about now, but Tommy could not see it because he could only see red.

“Now,” Dream said calmly. “If you’re done with your tantrum…”

And then Tommy did something absolutely, stupendously stupid. He reared back and punched Dream square in the jaw.

He had just one shining moment of pleasure brought on by the absolutely stunned expression that crossed Dream’s face. Then the man’s expression darkened.

Fingers gripped his shoulder painfully tight, and he stumbled as Dream just about yanked it out of its socket. To Tommy’s surprise, he wasn’t being dragged back into the man’s office for a private dressing down, but instead Dream was taking him in the opposite direction.

Tommy slowly started to lose his grip on the gall that had reared its head moments before. “Uh Dream,” he hedged, “where are we going?”

Dream’s second hand moved to the back of Tommy’s neck. “Shut up,” he said, as the tight grip pushed his head forward a bit.

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

He was manhandled across the hall to the temporary prisoner holding cells, complete with power neutralizing crystals and a guard. Dream opened one of the cells and shoved Tommy roughly into it. Tommy’s knees stung as they hit the hard concrete floor. He turned to blink up at Dream as the door was shut and locked behind him.

“Now,” Dream said with a disapproving frown from the other side of the bars. “You’re going to stay in there until you cool off. Then, maybe we can have an adult conversation. Or at least, maybe, an elementary aged one.”

He turned to leave then and Tommy panicked. “Wait!” he said, and Dream turned halfway back, his expression icy. “Wait, please,” Tommy begged. “Just at least tell me what happened to Tubbo. Please. I’ll be quiet then. Promise.”

Dream seemed to mull it over for a few long moments. “I don’t know how you even know something happened,” he said. “Tubbo was captured by the SBI.”

Tommy felt himself freeze in panic. “N-no,” he said shaking his head. Tubbo was… Tubbo was soft. No matter how much he’d struggled when he was older, he’d been born into a family with some amount of power. A shitty family in the end, but a family nevertheless. He’d been shielded during his formative years from the worst of the worst and no matter what lessons life threw at him or Tommy tried to teach him, some part of him was still far too innocent. It was something in the end Tommy loved about him. He was a warm little life-giving fire to curl up next to on the days the world was the coldest.

Tommy knew plenty about the SBI. He’d been given folders about what exactly they were capable of when he’d been assigned to go after them. They left a trail of blood and destruction in their wake and didn’t care who they hurt. Philza was a traitor with no remorse, the Blade was known for how efficiently he could slaughter whoever he wished, and Whippoorwill had described in morbid detail exactly what he wanted to do to Tommy on multiple occasions. Tubbo could not be with them. Especially not when Tommy had been the one to fail to bring them in so many times. Tommy was supposed to protect him.

“No, he can’t,” Tommy protested because he didn’t know what else to do. “We have to do something.”

Dream shook his head. “There’s nothing to do,” he said. “They’ll bargain with us for something they want or will manage to get something out of him.” Tommy’s mind spun with ways they might try to ‘get something out of’ Tubbo. “It isn’t ideal, but it’s not worth the manpower to fight them on it.”

“How can you say that!” Tommy asked.

“I believe you promised to be quiet if I told you what happened,” Dream reminded calmly.

“Fuck you!” Tommy returned. “Fuck you, you green Teletubby fuck!”

Dream sighed in exasperation and turned to the guard on duty watching them with wide eyes. “Don’t feed him without my say-so,” he said and then turned to go.

“Get your bitch ass back here!” Tommy shrieked, but Dream did not even acknowledge him. “Fuck you! Fuck you!” He did not stop raging even long after Dream had left. The guard got annoyed enough that he finally left to go sit in the back office, probably with headphones on.

Tommy eventually couldn’t scream anymore, his throat starting to ache. All of him ached down to the bone. He curled up into a miserable ball of pain, tucking his face into his knees and absolutely not starting to cry. He didn’t cry. He just had the hiccups and also the allergy count was probably high and, and Gold Rush liked onions. He was probably cutting onions to eat raw for lunch like a maniac and the smell was coming through the walls.

Tommy had lost track of how long he’d been sitting there with this horrible case of the hiccups before he heard a door open. He didn’t look, assuming it was the guard figuring out he wasn’t screaming anymore. Yet, his head popped up instantly when a quiet voice said, “Hey.”

Tommy blinked at the figure in front of him, immediately recognizing him though he didn’t know him that well. His name, well his superhero name was Ender. He was Dream’s only other mentee that had come to work at the Superhero Guild only a couple of months ago. Dream kept the two of them deliberately on separate schedules for some reason. Ender always worked from 1am-11am, so their paths never crossed, but Tubbo said he was nice. They’d worked together a couple of times.

Now, the boy was kneeling to be level with Tommy. He had a finger over the mouth of his mask, cautioning Tommy to be quiet.

“What are you doing here?” Tommy asked in a whisper.

Ender glanced back at the guard station and then pulled something out of his pocket.

Tommy looked at it, breath hitching. “Why?” he asked.

“Tubbo’s my friend too,” Ender replied. Tommy was startled he knew Tubbo’s real name but shoved the thought away as the boy reached up and stuck the key in the cell lock. He stayed crouched so he was less viewable from the guard’s window.

“He’ll be upset,” Tommy pointed out when the cell door swung open with an uncomfortably loud creak. They both knew who the ominous ‘he’ was.

Ender shrugged, but Tommy could see the tension lining his frame. “Yeah.”

Tommy swallowed.

“Here,” Ender said, handing him a phone. “I stole it off his desk. I checked. It has Philza’s contact information.”

Tommy took the phone and cradled it to his chest. “Thanks,” he breathed.

“You should run,” Ender said. “Before the guard comes out. Before anyone sees you. I’d teleport you out, but he has a tracker on my powers and would be able to tell where you went.”

Tommy nodded, sticking the phone in his pocket, and then doing what he did best: escaping.

#backlog

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sofiamoreno · 1 year ago

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¡Bienvenido! Make yourself at home.

♡ 18+ only (Succession & AIB are definitely not minor friendly TBH) ♡ BE KIND, I’m just doing this for fun with those that wanna interact with this OC cause I’m a troll. ♡ Please be patient with me when it comes to replies/responding. Nudge me if it’s been more than a week! Tumblr activity notifications do be slipping. ♡ Duplicate canon-character friendly blog! I’ll love on you just as much💕 ♡ Multi-ship friendly blog ♡ This is a sideblog of @kuinaoflight so follows are from that blog and asks are anonymous with Sofía’s tag.

FULL NAME: Sofia Moreno

FORMER OCCUPATION: Heiress to the Moreno Empire (a multibillion dollar conglomerate)

FACECLAIM: Ana De Armas

AGE: 31 years old

DATE OF BIRTH: February 24, 1992

ZODIAC: Monkey; Pisces (western)

SEXUALITY: Pansexual

ETHNICITY: Cuban & Spanish

LANGUAGES: Spanish, English, Japanese, English, French, Chinese, Korean

PERSONALITY: Kind, charismatic, gregarious, formal (unless she knows you), impulsive, headstrong, melancholy.

SKILLS: Krav Maga, marksmanship, multilingual.

AIB SPECIALTY: Hearts (possibly Diamonds in the future depending on character development)

AIB BEACH ALLIANCE: Militants (by circumstance)

Mun also plays:

@kuinaoflight (main blog)

@queenof-clubs (sideblog)

@heiyaitsakane (sideblog)

@heartsmajestymira (main blog)

BIOGRAPHY

Born in America, Sofia was raised to inherit the Moreno empire. Although she was the only child of her father who was C.E.O., he welcomed the competition to the rest of her family. Little did they all know with the inheritance would come connections to one of the world’s most underground arms-dealing operations.

The Moreno family has close ties to the Roy family enterprise.

Inheriting the family fortune was not something she wanted. Sofia cursed her life and upbringing, wishing she had been born into a different family full of love like in those Hallmark movies.

Still, she pushed herself to succeed, desiring nothing more than earning her father’s approval only to reject it right back in his face. That day is yet to come.

Growing up, Sofia traveled the world, accompanying her father and mother often on business trips, the majority of them being Tokyo, Japan.

AIB UNIVERSE

She was heading to a meeting to once again prove her abilities and how cold hearted she could be negotiating the absorption of another company when the meteor hit.

Sofia found the Borderlands a blessing in disguise. She’d wanted freedom and to live her life how she wanted without the scrutiny of her family’s eye. While she doesn’t agree to the LIFE OR DEATH penalties, but the adrenaline rush is something she’s never experienced in all her life. If given the choice she’s not sure if she wouldn’t become a citizen.

A Hearts specialist, it’s hard not letting her own become corrupted in such a place. But only time will tell if she’s truly her father’s daughter and she becomes a Diamonds specialist instead that can think clinically and logically in any situation no matter the sacrifice when it comes to her survival.

She was recruited by the Militants when they witnessed her use one of their weapons during a Spades game and her expert marksmanship. She doesn’t believe in their cause but at least she has protection.

Despite how her family wanted to raise her to be cutthroat and cold-hearted, Sofia has a heart of gold. Just as heavy, and makes her very soft.

She learned self-defense and how to shoot weapons should she be kidnapped just for fun and to not be taken advantage of. She's truly more than meets the eye.

#alice in borderland roleplay #aib roleplay #aib oc rp #alice in borderland oc rp #aib oc roleplay #alice in borderland oc roleplay #aib rp #alice in borderland rp

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matrotas-muse-hub · 1 year ago

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For muns with multiple muses, past and present, on any blog.

Rules: Fill out the form according to which muse suits each title best. (The same muse can have multiple titles.) Repost and tag. Feel free to add more!

Favourite Muse: Almost definitely Arkyn

Most Character Development: You’d think it’d be Arkyn as the OC I’ve roleplayed for what, 5 or so years off and on? But I honestly think it may be Yrsa

Trash Muse: Shirka. He is a trashy narcissistic idiot and I love him.

The Meme-Lord: Zephyr, at least in modern AU.

Most Likely to Start a War: Obviously Elias. He’s a literal revolutionary.

Worst Personality: Probably early-on Shirka, when his narcissism is at its peak. He gets better as time goes on and the god in his necklace keeps lecturing him.

Best Personality: Probably Arix. He’s a very wholesome boy.

Best Singer: I’ve got a bard named William, but he’s not on tumblr, so instead I’ll say Zephyr. He likes to do karaoke cause he has an insane range (modern AU).

Most Attractive Muse: Shirka I mean, it’s subjective. My hottest OC is probably a dryad named Illyin, but much like the aforementioned William, she’s not on tumblr. Of the muses on my blog atm, I’d say I feel Yrsa is most attractive, at least to me.

Biggest Heart: Arix. Man had a traumatic upbringing, forgot it all, and was smothered in love. He’s got such a big heart my sweet draconic boy.

Falls in Love Quickest: Ooooh that’s a hard one. I’d say Shirka because he’s the flirtiest, but that doesn’t mean he’d fall quickly. Instead, it might be Yrsa. She’s also the type to never tell them, even lie to their face when confronted.

Most Likely to Drop Their Phone in the Toilet: Easily Shirka. He’s so dumb.

Ice Ruler: Morph, probably. Which is funny, considering I have Freja as an ice elemental user and Arkyn. But if anyone’s got that cold personality when it comes to personal relationships, Morph is a lot like that.

The Edgelord: Julian, oh lord. To be fair, it’s hard not to write a character with his past as edgy.

Most Tragic Backstory: Aggh, I torture so many OCs though! Probably Julian. He’s literally unable to die, piloting his own dead body around like a combat puppet. That or Arkyn, Arkyn reallllllly has it rough.

Best Case of Puberty: Hmm... I’d say... Jericho, prior to dying and getting isekai’d into Aldrick’s body. He went from background character commoner to looking like a sorcerer king.

Most Awkward: Julian. He’s not really had much of a chance to socialize ever since he died and became a revenant.

Busy Bee: Arix. He can’t sit still, always has to be doing something.

Most Clueless: Freja. To be fair, she’s missing lots of her memory.

Most Likely to Forget Their Wallet at Home: Yrsa. At her stage in life, money has little meaning, and she often forgets she even has a coin purse.

Best Dressed: Elias on most days, Zephyr when he has to attend any formal events in his modern AU (after all, modern Zephyr is heir to a fashion mogul)

Biggest Flirt: SHIRKA

Most Dramatic: Shirka

Least Likely to Show Up Late: Elias

One With Weirdest Habit: Haven’t thought this through much, maybe Jericho as he’s literally from another world and his behaviors don’t always add up perfectly. If we’re counting retired muses, Saphernion has some strange habits as she’s essentially a banshee and has a... complicated past where she’d pick up strange habits just to survive.

Most Likely to Be Caught at the Gym: Unsure what they mean by ‘caught?’ If it’s caught staring at someone, definitely Shirka. If it’s being spotted there when you wouldn’t expect to see them there, Zephyr. Gotta stay in shape, even as a gamer (once again, modern AU).

Tagged by: @cherrychitters

Tagging: @korvyna, @misstantabismuses (if you haven’t been tagged already), anyone who feels so inclined :)

#dash meme #out of legends

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mayhaps-a-blog · 2 years ago

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I posted 2,168 times in 2022

That's 62 more posts than 2021!

150 posts created (7%)

2,018 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ele-millennial-weirdo

@handbaskethell

@dreams-in-a-sandbox

@irn-bru

@lilac-vode

I tagged 2,164 of my posts in 2022

#star wars - 1,695 posts

#art! - 1,535 posts

#oooo - 1,143 posts

#thrawn - 696 posts

#chiss - 343 posts

#nice - 315 posts

#very nice - 287 posts

#ascendancy - 269 posts

#haaa - 262 posts

#awww - 230 posts

Longest Tag: 83 characters

#he's one of those geniuses who routinely just forgets other people aren't like that

My Top Posts in 2022:

One of the things that struck me the most about Richard Madoc’s character is how strongly he built up the ‘feminist’ narrative around himself; he describes himself as a feminist writer, he writes strong female characters, he goes out of his way to demand equal representation of women and minorities in the movie deal... and yet. And yet.

He’s trying so hard to assuage his guilt at what he has done and continues to do that he builds this other narrative in his mind, where he can be the hero: our success, he calls it, what we’ve done, as if Calliope has shared in this somehow, as if he’s done anything but torment her. He’ll do anything for the nebulous concept of ‘women’ but not the one thing that would help the woman in his life, right here, right now.

He’ll do anything but mildly inconvenience himself. And isn’t that telling?

371 notes - Posted August 19, 2022

I am loving rereading Dracula one email at a time, I loved that book in high school and it’s fun to get back to it!

Personally, I don’t think tumblr is giving poor Jonathan enough credit. He clocked on that things were REALLY weird pretty quickly, but by the time it was clear that things were dangerous – in the carriage surrounded by wolves – he was kind of out of options.

He can’t exactly flee the carriage (there’s wolves! Behaving very strangely and unusually aggressively!) and once he’s in the castle, he still can’t leave without that carriage (under Dracula’s control) and by day 2 he’s realized he’s locked in.

He clearly knows at this point that he’s in the first 10 minutes of a horror film (which usually goes poorly for the solicitor) and the only way out is through. So, he does the only thing he can in this bizarre situation – plays along, does his job, takes extensive notes, and tries to figure out what’s going on and how to get out – the rosary helps, somehow, so that’s something.

I give Jonathan some slack for the first few days - honestly, if I was traveling alone in a foreign country where I didn’t speak the language and a woman I just met who was heavily religious grabbed my hands and begged me not to leave due to what seemed to be superstition, I would probably also insist on keeping my schedule. Maybe even a bit faster.

Admittedly I probably wouldn’t be traveling alone to a remote location to meet a mysterious man I’d never spoken to, but I’m not a solicitor.

375 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

OK so I finally got around to reading Gideon the Ninth and like. I get it. I get it.

Imagine you’re Harrowhawk “my existence is a war crime” Nonagesimus and your parents killed 200 infants so that you would live. Was it worth it? You don’t know, so you break into the tomb you’re meant to be guarding, because you have to know. Was it worth it? Except your parents think this is heresy deserving death, so they all hang themselves, and you’re there holding your rope and getting ready to join them but 200 souls are clawing at your heart asking you was it worth it? Was it? Was it?

And there’s this one girl, this one person who somehow survived, who you couldn’t kill, who your parents couldn’t kill, who somehow refused to die for you, and you love her for it, love her for being the one soul that you aren’t carrying on your shoulders (was it worth it?), and you hate her, because she should hate you, hate you for what you are and what you’ve done and your torment her because yes, you are awful and terrible and a blight upon the world (was it worth it?), and she hates you because you’re a bully and a bitch and she thinks she killed your parents so of course you hate her too.

And you can’t let her go, because who will hate you without her? And she can’t let you go, because who will hate her without you?

But there’s this chance, a chance to become something better, greater, perhaps a fraction of what you were meant to be and maybe then it’ll be worth it (could it ever be worth it?) so you drag her along because who else would you bring? And finally you’ve done it, you’ve told her your secret, and she told you yours, and maybe you don’t have to hate each other after all.

And then what does she go and do?

She goes and fucking dies for you.

Now you’ve got 200 infant souls and that of Gideon Nav hanging off your shoulders, and there’s nothing you can do, no way to fix this, you can’t even fucking die, so fuck it, was it worth it?

Was it?

WAS IT??

760 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

I still think Mon Mothma could and should solve all her problems by framing Perrin for embezzlement.

811 notes - Posted November 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I have seen much speculation on the high quality of Dream of the Endless as a romantic partner, and I have seen many refute such speculations, mainly citing Nada as proof that Dream is a terrible, capricious lover doomed to failure.

Personally, I think it would fall somewhere in the middle. Dream is, by most accounts, a passionate and considerate lover.

Consider Calliope’s words from the comics: “He was the most gallant of lovers... He delighted in sharing his knowledge. He had a castle filled with treasures, and took such pleasure in showing them, giving them to me. He was so gentle, and his skin felt like white silk against my skin... when we made love, it was like a flame: I felt utterly engulfed, utterly loved. Treasured.”

Or words from another former lover: “...we began a conversation, which stretched over many weeks. And, at the end, he invited me to remain in the Dreaming, as a guest... He began, rather nervously, to court me. And I began, also rather nervously, to be courted. And we were both, initially, extremely happy. He loved me. I do not doubt that.”

In summary, as a lover, Dream is, in essence, a dream :)

And like a dream, it fades.

His first and foremost priority is, and always has been, his duty. Once he’s settled into a relationship, once the shine has worn off, he goes back to work, and his lover is left for when he feels like stopping by.

Both mentioned relationships end this way. A slow drifting away...

And once the drift begins, well. Nada was an extreme example, but reject him, insult him, even if it’s just a loss of temper, and a lover will find themselves shown the door and banned from returning. His anger, his hurt, is cold and sharp and cutting, like the nightmares he rules, and he holds grudges for millennia.

Dating Dream would be a dream, but the breakup is a nightmare.

Enjoy!

1,211 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #long post #got a nice mix of fandoms in there #still mostly thrawn though #excellent

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straykidsblurbs · 10 months ago

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Haiiiiiiii it’s been a while…

Long time no see! I haven’t been on tumblr in seemingly eons. Wow. Life has changed a lot since then, probably for all of us. You angels that followed my blog, for one blurb or all, I hope you know how much you mean to me. You all were genuinely my angels and you still are. I wouldn’t be standing if I didn’t have this outlet and support during that time. Y’all made me happy and gave me purpose, a single “<3” made my world burst with vibrant energy. You angels made me value my writing skills, something I’ve always loved. Even still, this far in the future I can’t fully express my gratitude to the proper degree of my intent. Though most, or possibly all, of these accounts could be inactive, maybe you’ll randomly find a password like I did and log back in too.

THANK YOU ALL, MY SHINING ANGELS<3

Looking back, I feel really bad for a lot of the personal rants posted on this page. I will not delete them as it feels offensive to that wounded version of myself to do so. I put a lot of care and emotion into those words. I was in the worst time in my life and writing these silly, sweet and sexy little stories about the people we all love so much really helped me coast over the toughest terrain, mostly unscathed and at ease. I abandoned this blog and all of tumblr after I was released from the hospital for my third and final time. I survived, well obviously. Anyway, I’ll spare you the details.

I can’t seem to find the proper words to convey my emotions. It made me happy to be of service to you. Even if it just made your heart beat a little faster or if you loved my work or you just happened the scroll by one day, I felt purposeful. I made you angels happy by simply sharing a common interest and using my coping mechanism to aid your late night online ventures. The thought that even a single person, let alone 1000 people saw my work and said “that’s worth keeping tabs on”. Well, it gave me strength during the most trying period I’ve faced. Thank you. Thank. You. I’m serious and overwhelmed with old feelings from this era of my life, this blog as a whole. So let me say it again and I hope you understand my emotional intent. Thank. You. You have no clue what you’ve done for me. I have deep, deep love for each of you. You. I can only beg the skies to grace you in the ways you have graced me.

Please be well and if you’re struggling, try to let even the smallest of kind words or appreciation sink in. It saved my life. You’re worth effort, admiration and each and every star in the night sky. You deserve to pick a star to keep, to hold as your own without lifting a single one of your beautiful fingers. For a giant band of people to say “as you wish.” No questions asked. For them to travel to that star’s most powerful burning point in time, and pluck the star with their bare hands from the void like it’s a juicy fruit from a blossoming tree in the infinite unknown. Don’t sell yourself short. I love you all, my sweet darling angels. I have appropriately named my little collection of lovely beings. Stay safe. <3

- -

- (A/N) (First off I miss authors notes) I’m am almost 3 years clean from self harm and happily married to the most amazing, thoughtful and handsome man. An army man yum! Don’t get me started on him! (He puts these little stories I created to genuine shame, iykyk.)

0 notes

queen--kenobi · 2 years ago

Note

Hi Lady Kenobi, this is Anon 🐸 ( irony of anon trying to differentiate myself from other anons ) I hope one day u be able to differentiate me from other anons just from my writing style !

Dam, It take so much shaky courage to type & send an anon msg (sweats)

🍍🍊🍇🌶️

🌶️ -the place I’m sitting at typing to you has this phase ichi-go-ichi-e

I would still ship you with Tymon L. Why? Because why not choose someone who actually beat silently Aemond or any guys first to everything ( practically actually the final one saving the female protagonist, being the first not second person to wish her happy birthday & meal & gift ) He plans everything practical logistics u need in life ( coffee lunch invites u to family lunch ) & also get rid of all your adversaries that stands in your way ever ! Although he is hurting so much inside ( the letters ) the only thing he lets u see outwardly is his grin when he is finally reunited with u. True there is a possibility of him disappointing u but there is also that possibly of him of throwing himself in the face of danger ; u having a chance to experience such a silent selfless act of love to protect u. He would be good for you my lady. Sorry for still speaking up for the underdog but I guess I’m a type of tymon lannister myself, a rare breed of a curveball. I know u hold the pen to his fate on paper. It’s a god like power u have. I don’t want him to die in the next episode nor tragedy to befall him in this fanfic of yours I plead ! ( audience plea ) If there’s a fan request would u also consider creating a totally original new female OC that matches his badassness, smartness, craziness & devotion. I know a love triangle is always a good read but a love quadrant is also a novel idea too! And maybe Elayna would realise how she has always taken him for granted all her life.

I love how your tumblr friends would tease u with brat & their comments make me lol many times. Such wit “love” & community spirit

On Starlight Kau’ra, Leena “It doesn’t go away, some parts of her doesn’t want it to. That’s fine. She can learn to live with it” this line stays with me forever. I wanna know … as time passes as all things does, how is she doing … ? The reason I ask is so I can apply this answer for myself

And also thanks for your selfie. You wouldn’t need to on tumblr. You look great btw. Like the phantom that never needs to be unmasked, It’s your writing and voice that touches the soul.

I guess the difficulties I face in life is still there, which I guess don’t we all do, that’s why we are all on tumblr. But your blog has helped me such that in the need to fulfilling the mundane tasks of everyday to survive, like the netflix I watch on tv, there is also an anticipation to a new episode /chapter here - yours truly anon 🐸

Anon. I really appreciate that you've taken the time to not just read my writing but also talk about it. That always makes a writer's day. I love the questions you have about Kau'ra and Leena

But. I'm not trying to be mean, and I do genuinely appreciate you sending in something for an ask game. That always makes my day.

All that being said. It makes me very uncomfortable that you ship me with Tymon. I'm fairly open about Tymon being absolutely awful and how he's only going to get worse. He is going to hurt Elayna physically and do so often. He basically tortures her at a point in the fic

I don't want to make you scared to send nice messages to people with this. But I do owe it to you, and myself, to say when something makes me uncomfortable and crosses a line. And this does that. Again, I'm not trying to be mean, I'm being honest with you

I hope you understand

#persephone speaks

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antiloreolympus · 3 years ago

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7 Anti LO Asks

1. Do you know what really gets my blood boiling about this comic? Persephone and Demeter's relationship.

In the myths, Demeter and Persephone loved each other more than anything. Their reunion is so important - it marked the coming of spring and growth. A whole cult was dedicated to this for crying out loud. Yes, the myths were far from perfect, but the Persephone and Demeter myth showed the strength of a loving mother-daughter relationship with Demeter searching endlessly to find her child that was ripped away and had her innocence forcibly taken.

Now, RS is not the only author to make Demeter this over-bearing mother type in order to put more positivity onto the Hades-Persephone relationship. However, RS takes this trend to a whole new level - to the point where I would even consider it misogyny.

How is it, she takes this beautiful mother-daughter relationship and makes it out to be an abusive and controlling one, and then takes the Hades-Persephone relationship from a forceful one to a loving, perfect relationship with no problems? How is it ok to ruin one relationship to elevate another?

I understand that many versions of the myth try to downplay Hades' actions, and even make it so Persephone actually falls in love with him and there is no rape. But it doesn't change that this relationship was problematic, and meant to represent the loss of innocence.

Then fans have the gall to claim this comic is feminist and then claim on top of that that Demeter and Persephone's relationship was the same in the myth? These fans clearly don't know the myths, and neither does RS.

Making Hades a good person is fine. Changing it up a bit to make Persephone's loss of innocence something else is also fine. But ruining Demeter and Persephone's relationship? Especially when Persephone has to spend half the year with her? So horrible.

2. im sorry, but rachel cant introduce KRONOS coming back and then dropping it for several episodes to focus on a stake-less trail and persephone not knowing what lingerie to seduce hades in. like thats too much of an earth shaking development and huge stake plot point to just ignore for months to focus instead on something as minor as hxp's relationship, which only points out a huge flaw: why is hxp's relationship so minor in this? isnt the whole point supposed to be about them?

3. I think LO completely dropped the ball over Hades’ characterization.

From the first ep I thought ok, this is good, we have some bones to see he’s not that lucky in love and is just tired and lonely, and while ignoring the creepy actions towards Persephone, I thought ok, Artemis hates him, Hestia hates, even Ares hates him, maybe once Persephone finally sees the underworld and probably gets to know him it’ll be a clever twist and they’ll be proven wrong. The underworld will turn out to be fair and just, the citizens will love Hades, he’ll be revealed to be a good leader and king and not like his brothers, it’ll be like everyone saying Hades of myth isn’t actually that bad, and it’ll help reinforce why this sweet and bubbly Persephone wants him, she sees the real him, not the mean rumors and assumptions, this is perfect.

And then it just didn’t happen. The exact opposite happened, actually.

We’re shown the LO underworld is cruel and unjust, where the poor dead are forced into slavery and Hades created a harsh class divide with him and him only on top, the citizens hate him, the underworld gods don’t trust him and openly seem ok if he’s taken out of power, he’s not a good leader and king and doesn’t even want the job yet keeps it for his own ego and grip of power m, and on top of it all he is just like his brothers, if not worse. He loves to get violent over any little slight against him, he hoards wealth and resources to enrich himself while his citizens starve and struggle to survive, he’s corrupt, he controls all the media and laws to bend to his will, sleeps with his brothers wife for centuries behind his back while claiming to be holier than thou, he has sex with his secretaries who are made dependent on him for any way to survive, and now he lusts after his barely legal intern who is also now dependent on him for her way to survive, and that’s only what I remember off the top of my head.

LO perfectly set up to prove Hades isn’t the devil or the false pop culture assumption that he’s evil and to show some actual facts from myth, and yet Rachel only ended up reinforcing exactly that and even making him even worse with her made up ideas, all while thinking having Persephone ignore or excuse it somehow makes it not bad or even a good thing. It’s honestly kind of impressive just how bad of writing that actually is.

4. Chapter 172 is not that interesting. It’s setup had me excited to see Hephaestus and Hera and learning more about echo, but it’s cut so short. Because again the story can’t leave HXP out for 2 seconds.

I can also see why Zeus is gonna go insane.

5. i agree w/ other anon. LO should have pulled a PJO or a BoZ and just made up OCs and have them interact with the gods than whatever Rachel thinks shes doing, which is lying she's being accurate and faithful while completely changing all of it, removing what is needed, and adding what isnt so that it lines up with no actual myth besides like, various 50 shades fanfic she read in 2015 and some popular tumblr text posts.

6 . the animation studio behind blood of zeus literally can only draw one face for the men and one face for the women and they were still able to make the gods all look distinct and hot while LO can't even bother to use more than 6 colors and can only have the women look as tiny as possible with the biggest boobs while the men are all just lego men.

7. ////FP SPOILERS////

Okay so like I stopped reading LO way back before season 1 ended, and a majority of my knowledge of the series comes from what I read here on your blog which is enough for me lol and I decided to read the latest 5 chapters just to see what's up (on zahard. I refuse to give the actual series any views)

And I just. Could not take the whole scene with Daphne running from Apollo seriously? The anatomy and art inconsistency was so distracting that i genuinely could not find it serious. Even when Thanatos discovers her hibernated body I couldn't take it seriously because of how she looked?

And when Hades had that call (??? Was it a call? Or his inner dialogue? I couldn't really tell ngl) with Zeus and said he's causing Persephone unnecessary distress, and that she didn't pose any threat. B!tch??? She killed a ton of mortals??? She has no control over her powers???? She's literally a fugitive for the aforementioned things??? She apparently woke Kronos up? (Idk if anyone knows about that, again my knowledge only spans to whatever I read here) Hello????

And I have a lot to say about the chapters starting the trial but I'll only mention one thing; Hades saying "I don't think blindly supporting my little brother would be doing him any favours (as a ruler)" had me cackling. This is coming from a guy blindly supporting a girl he's literally only known for a few weeks, who's like what, only recently turned 20? Sit tf down Hades you're not cool, you creepy ass overgrown smurf.

Overall I still hate this series lmao. Regarding art though I feel like I wouldn't be so miffed about the anatomy much if the character designs were consistent and the story was compelling. They literally change hairstyles and body types frame by frame, and it's distracting.

The timeline from what I read here is laughable. 4 years in publication with almost 200 chapters and you're telling me only like a month has passed canonically. That's wild and such poor writing.

And as someone who literally will sympathise with any lead character pretty quickly, the story makes me hate them. It makes me want to root against them. I also hate the fact this trash is somehow top ranked on webtoons when so many other stories are far better then it.

Anyway, many thanks to this blog for existing and allowing me to dump so much text here to vent out my hate for this series lmao. You the mvp fam, hope you're having a good day 🥂🥂🥂

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

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ultramaga · 2 years ago

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“ Even if we agreed that the world was getting more complex, it wouldn’t disprove Doctorow’s point. “ Yes, it would, it would directly contradict his argument. And the world is not only more complex and complicated, but measurably so, as in the information content increases with time, as he would know as he wrote about such things. So it’s like an archaeologist claiming fossils never existed, after writing many papers on fossils. Is he lying or insane? Or just so lost in the doublethink he is both? https://about.bnef.com/blog/global-storage-market-double-six-times-2030/

The Earth was very simple, and the overall trend is increasing complexity. There are even branches of information theory that deal with the trend. Mathematics accepts that it is a mundane statement to say that life is getting more complex.

There’s no sense in which things are static or getting simpler. All you have to do is look at the sky as the satellites soar past, and realise that it wouldn’t take much for this whole system to cascade into disaster.

Because it is all getting more and more and more complicated.

And complex systems are intrinsically unpredictable, and tend towards disaster states. https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn16604-satellite-collision-more-powerful-than-chinas-asat-test/

https://fractalfoundation.org/resources/what-is-chaos-theory/ So Cory’s not just wrong, he is on the level of a physicist proclaiming that fire is cold. That Leftists are claiming this statement to pwn the Conservatives just shows how morally and intellectually bankrupt they are. “ but, like, a horse is much more complicated, internally and to use, than a car! “ I had to jump back at this one because it puzzled me. Why on earth would anyone say that? Then it occurred to me that a lot of tumblr posters have probably no idea what a horse is, beyond what they see on the screen.

Mostly, animals drive themselves. You can override that, but something like a horse doesn’t really need you to be conscious to get around. There are many instances of people who slept while their horses took them home, and it’s pretty trivial to master the basics of riding.

We know this. How do you not know this? I guess living in cities all the time has alienated people from nature so much that they think some advanced training is required? I knew people who would ride their horses to my place on the street, which was perfectly legal. They didn’t need a license - they were around 15-16.

I used to ride my cousins on country roads. We just pulled to the side when cars came. We were allowed to do that because horses are incredibly easy to ride compared to a car.

Which is why States have all sorts of rules for cars. Compare that to the requirements for riding a horse on the road: https://roadsafety.transport.nsw.gov.au/stayingsafe/drivers/animalsoncountryroads/horses-in-traffic.html I promise you that if you fall asleep whilst driving, if you survive, you will just wish it was a horse instead. “ One day, during an afternoon ride, with myself as guide I fell asleep about halfway up. Because I was sleeping the horse just continued along the trail like he was trained to do and even jumped up onto the small rock ledge that was the highlight of the trail. It was the screams of the unaware tourists that woke me up finally as I obviously hadn’t been awake to tell them to be ready for it. “ https://www.quora.com/Has-anyone-ever-fallen-asleep-while-riding-a-horse-like-they-do-in-the-movies?share=1

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mm2305 · 3 years ago

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Hello, love! I hope you are well :) Here are the week's questions for the newlyweds!

Note: Once again, this week’s round focuses on photos! Dialogue is entirely optional, though for some of these, it’d be fun to know the story behind the pictures ;) Tumblr mobile only allows 10 picture uploads (there are 10 questions), so collages are highly encouraged! Otherwise, the non-beta version of Tumblr desktop will allow more than ten.

Have fun!

For MC

Favorite childhood photo of Ethan

What’s your phone wallpaper image?

Contact name and photo for Ethan

Top three photo results when you Google Ethan

First picture of or with him that you uploaded to social media

For Ethan

Favorite childhood photo of your spouse

What’s your phone wallpaper image?

Contact name and photo for your spouse

Top three photo results when you Google your spouse

First picture you ever took of or with your spouse

*Credit to the anon who sent me the first three questions!

Pairing : Dr Ethan Ramsey x f!MC ( Dr Olivia Valentine)

Format : edits/pictures + dialogue

A/N : Hello Bree! This has become my favorite thing to do each week and making stuff for Valensey! Please forgive any inconsistencies, mistakes, etc because I had to do everything from scratch (my phone is android). Hope you all like these (I got more than a little carried away)!

{PS : I apologize for the manip in advance, it is very unrealistic, but I spent way too much time trying to figure out lighting, contrast, etc so it's in here 😂}

Find the rest of the questions and answers here

For Olivia

Favorite childhood photo of Ethan

E : No you won't show that one.

O : Which one do you mean, honey? The one you're making out with the teddy bear?

E : I wasn't making out with it I was --

*Bree & Olivia together * : -- practicing CPR.

O : keep telling yourself that babe. Anyway here are some

O : wasn't he the cutest baby ever?!

E : I admit these are very cute pictures

O : trust your wife darling

What’s your phone wallpaper image?

O : Here it is

O : my husband is hot AF

E : *blushes*

Contact name and photo for Ethan

O : I love him in those sweaters. Just look at him

Top three photo results when you Google Ethan

O : the one on the left is from some paparazzo on the street. I recently found it and I admit it is one of my faves. The top right is from the ceremony in which he was given the Adeyemi Prize and the bottom one, is from a convention in Seattle.

First picture of or with him that you uploaded to social media

O : a selfie from when we decided to be together at the end of my second year

For Ethan

Favorite childhood photo of your spouse

E : the left one is from her birthday party when she was 4. The right one is from when she was 2. Her love for food and pasta was evident since her early years *chuckles*

O : I'm going to kill Lily. It was her wasn't it?

E : as if I'm going to answer that.

O : whatever. This just proves that I have superior taste in everything. Food included

What’s your phone wallpaper image?

E : my two favorite beings in the world. Plus Olivia smiling.

O : awww Ethan

Contact name and photo for your spouse

E : this was from the re-opening of Edenbrook. She looked exquisite in that dress.

O *smirking* : not that it survived another night after that

E : I'm not going to apologize

O : wouldn't want you to, love

Top three photo results when you Google your spouse

O : Wait. You can seach about me in Google? Wow.

E : Of course, darling. There's a Wikipedia page for you too. So, the left one is from a dinner party with some potential investors for the hospital. The top right is from the interview with that excuse of a human, the senator, and the bottom one is from the convention in Los Angeles, a couple of years ago, a few days after she became head of the DT.

O : Woah. That's wild

First picture you ever took of or with your spouse

E : This remains to this day one of my favorite pictures. After the attack, Olivia came to stay with me for a few days,even though we weren't together yet. I couldn't yet leave her out of my sight. She had started seeing a psychologist, because she was, naturally, traumatized after everything that happened. The worst was the nightmares she had. One day, it was an off day for me, I woke up quite late from an uninterrupted sleep. Which was unusual because of her - and sometimes my- nightmares. She was dressed, wearing her favorite signature red lipstick and was just looking at me with that look in her eyes. It was the first restful night she had after 2 weeks.

O *taking his hand* : You know I wouldn't have made it without you, Ethan, right?

E *squeezing her hand, smiling lovingly* : I didn't do anything Liv...

O *now stroking his cheek*: you were there for me. That's all I needed, baby.

E : *kissing her hand* : I'll always be, my love.

(thank you once more for the questions Bree ❤️)

Taglist (please let me know if you want to be added or removed for these) @romewritingshop @codykosuckmytoe @sophxwithers @actuallybored @potionsprefect @aleynareads @ethansramsey @rookie-ramsey @crystalwillow @gryffindordaughterofathena @kiara-36 @mrsethanfreakingramsey @writer-ish @panda9584 @genevievemd @jamespotterthefirst @queencarb @shanzay44 @nikki-2406 @starryeyedrookie @coffeeheartaddict @schnitzelbutterfingers @mysticaurathings @starrystarrytrouble @lsvdw-blog @izzyourresidentlawyer @silma-words @stygianflood @headoverheelsforramsey @maurine07 @natureblooms24

#newlyweds game with your host bree #open heart #ethan ramsey #choices open heart #ethan ramsey x mc #choices stories you play #choices #Mil edits #Valensey #ethan x olivia #ethan jonah ramsey #ethan x mc

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katierosefun · 3 years ago

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i originally had a september wrap-up post queued but then tumblr fucking ate it, which made me very angry because i didn’t want to re-type the whole thing, but i’m procrastinating, so here i am, re-typing the whole thing of all the things i watched/consumed over the month of september, even if it’s a little late: (it’s fine, i didn’t watch a whole ton of stuff except...a lot of kdramas lmao. oh, and visions.)

k-dramas:

beyond evil

okay, so i think this has been on my rec list for literally forever now, but...besties, i’m on my fifth watch of this goddamn show in the span of maybe two months, so if that doesn’t tell you how much this show has been a comfort/eating my brain lately, idk what will.

i literally never shut up about this show, but if you’ve somehow been missing from my blog for a little bit, a quick summary: lee dong sik (played by the ever-wonderful shin ha kyun) was accused of murder + kidnapping a few young women, including his own twin sister 20 years ago. he’s lived a pretty quiet life on his own, and now 20 years later, his whole world is turned upside down again when hotshot new inspector han joo won (played by the talented yeo jin goo) comes into this little town. when the murders start up again, these two are thrown into a hellishly complex mystery. will throw you in for a hellish loop. i think my thoughts best summarize this show as come for the murder mystery, stay for whatever the hell joo won and dong sik have.

okay, but all joking aside about how much i love joo won and dong sik (because...i truly do love them), this show was incredibly healing. once again: this show has quickly become a comfort show, basically to the point where i just watch it whenever i feel down (which happens to be a lot these days). idk man. humans aren’t meant to carry burdens on their own and all that stuff. sometimes u just need to remind yourself that.

the crowned clown

so, after watching beyond evil the fourth time, i realized that maybe i wanted to watch some of the actors’ other works. that was how i found myself watching the crowned clown, which...is an excellent kdrama now available on netflix (also on viki for free, just as beyond evil is). honestly, it’s been a hot second since i’ve watched historical dramas (saeguks), so i was a little unsure what to expect, but this show. bro. this show reminded me just how much i love historical dramas, because the court politics? the costumes? the music? the acting? fantastic.

basically, this show is about the young clown (ie. performer) ha seon (played by yeo jin goo) who now has to replace the king, who might be like...two seconds away from snapping (if he hasn’t already). the reason they’re able to do this is because they look exactly identical despite not being related.

this story is honestly wonderful. i loved it, and it’s an interesting way to look at the story behind the actual king (because. apparently this king was a real person, and i think his story has inspired quite a few other korean movies/shows). i thought yeo jin goo was brilliant in this show, and it’s really no surprise he became the youngest person ever nominated for a baeksang award because of this series. i was truly blown away by just how versatile he proved to be of an actor, and his dynamics with the other characters (the queen, the secretary being my fave, as well as the old eunuch jo), i just...bro. i’ll admit i wasn’t the biggest fan of the romance (don’t get me wrong! it was sweet!), but i think that might have been because this was so court politics heavy, and i adored it for that. if you’ve never watched a historical drama but want to and just don’t know where to start, i highly recommend this.

d.p.

bro....this show was dark. i watched it all in 2 days (pretty easy to do, considering it’s 6 episodes and maybe 40-50 minutes long per episode), and i needed to lie down. this is just one of those shows that i feel is...very important to watch, even if the content matter isn’t very bright.

basically, dp is about two deserter pursuit officers: ahn jun ho (played by jung hae in) and han ho yul (played by koo kyo hwan). deserter pursuit officers are basically people who chase after people who deserted their military post--and for those who don’t know, being in the military is mandatory for men in south korea. this is the result of the armistice between the north and the south--basically, since north korea never agreed to an actual peace treaty, south korea is constantly under threat of war, which is why men need to serve at least a few years. (this is why a lot of actors + kpop band members often take breaks from their careers--to fulfill their military service time. because yup, even celebrities aren’t exempt from service!)

anyways, this show really doesn’t pull back their punches. major trigger warnings for things like intense harrassment, suicide, domestic violence...it really does capture just how dark life can be, and also how toxic the military can be for men. because of that, i felt this show was incredibly well-crafted, incredibly nuanced, and in the end, i just felt sad. that said though, there was a hopeful ending, and i’m glad that this show was renewed for a second season, as i think this show is just...really important.

squid game

okay, so i don’t want to be that person, but your girl was watching squid game right after it came out, so i was here before the hype train--but okay, okay, i digress. (i am glad that this show is getting hype. i feel it’s very important that people watch this show.)

if you haven’t noticed how squid game’s climbed to #1 on netflix worldwide (i think, anyways), well, then...buddy. squid game is about a bunch of people who have the chance to earn lots of money by playing what seems like innocent children’s games. (spoilers: they are far from innocent.)

this show scarred me, to be honest. i needed to watch something lighthearted after this, just because it was so intense. lots of trigger warnings for blood and gore, as well as just. losing faith in humanity. but also, like dp, i felt this show was necessary. it was incredibly well-constructed in that it showed just what desperate people will do in order to survive, as well as exactly what a terrible capitalistic society will do to the working class. it’s depressing and sad, but also incredibly chilling because like. you can’t help but watch the characters and think, but would i do the same thing? i just want to pay off my own debt and take care of my family. wouldn’t i do the same thing?

i won’t say more of this show for fear of spoilers, but. let me just say. that i really am glad this show exists. i hope people actually notice what the fuck it’s saying about our current system too, because hm, maybe i just want to suck the fun out of things, but there’s something very disturbing about how people are already cute-ifying this show (ie. “this is what i would wear to the squid games! :D” and “look at these squid-game inspired cookies! :D”, as if this show didn’t just deliver a heart-crushing message about capitalism + how the wealthy fuck over anyone who isn’t the 1% BUT ANYWAYS)

star wars: visions

lately i’ve been feeling weird about star wars for lots of different reasons which i don’t particularly feel like addressing today, but. visions really reminded me why i fell in love with star wars in the first place. i think for starters, well. it’s no surprise when i say that i felt an intense amount of joy of seeing east asian cultures so beautifully incorporated and respected in this show (no surprise seeing that this show was literally crafted by japanese anime studios), but like. it really was. a beautiful thing. i cried at least once per episode, either because i was so in awe of the animation and the themes or because i was just in awe that this thing exists.

i think my favorite episode had to be the village bride--there was something so incredibly powerful about seeing someone who looked a bit like me say i am a jedi. what an iconic line. what an iconic story about a sad traumatized gal deciding to step up and fight, actually. peak star wars.

but besides all that...i really did feel like...this show captured the beauty and essence of what makes star wars actually good. the themes of good versus evil, a lot of stuff between siblings (bro....the twins and lop and ocho FUCKED ME UP), choosing to have brighter and better days ahead (the village bride, the ninth jedi, the duel, tatooine rhapsody)...like, i really loved how each episode really took everything that was good about star wars and just turned it into something even more beautiful. this series will stay with me for a long time, i think--and i am very grateful for the people involved in this project for reminding me why i fell in love with this universe in the first place. :”)

#caroline recs #a few days late but here it is!

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