#(LOOK WHAT BEAUTIFUL THING ACHILLES CREATED FOR ME)

[shieldretired]

How does it feel?

»  Like it's someone else's.

It isn't.

––––––––––––

Canon-divergent portrayal of STEVE ROGERS, the retired Captain America, MCU & Headcanon Based.

(Promo credit: @dereiserne)

[justawritterwithideas]

Who's your daddy? | s.r

summary: After a long day's work, the BAU returns to the head office where they find a stroller with a small baby sleeping and a child very determined to surprise his father… But who's his father?

warnings: too much fluff, spencer!dad, my best attempt at Spencer dad because it's 24/7 on my mind. I REALLY ENJOYED WRITING IT, AAAAAAAAAAA. This story is not spencer x reader, i wanted to try something different so i created a character. I hope you guys like it.

words: 4,241.

a/n: I decided to surprise myself and try the family/family found challenge from one of my favorite writers in the whole universe, @imagining-in-the-margins. I used, I think, one of my favorite concepts which is "secret family/spouse/child" for this little au.

i want to remind you that English is not my first language, so if there are mistakes I hope you will forgive me :( I hope you like it, plus I really enjoyed being able to try something new and outside of what I usually focus my writing on. THANK YOU, TQM.

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Catching criminals is a good way to kill time.

The BAU team knew this perfectly well, that's why they were dedicated to it. Every day was a new experience trying to find and capture the worst of the worst of humanity. Even though sometimes they just wished those freaks would take a day off.

The last case had sent them all the way to Silicon Valley, successfully catching the unsub and making it safely back to the FBI offices.

What they didn't expect was to find their technical analyst and friend, Penelope, gazing in amazement at the inside of a stroller.

"What is that, Penny?" asked Emily, walking up to the blonde figure who was totally engrossed by what she was seeing in that baby carriage. The group approached silently, after seeing the woman's signal for them to come as quietly as possible, and saw inside it.

A small baby was sleeping comfortably inside. They estimated that he was about eight months old; they could see a few strands of thin brown hair that were tousled falling down his forehead, his little nose was puckered and his little hand clenched the tail of a fluffy lion. His outfit was as cute as possible: his body was adorned by a white long-sleeved T-shirt with an iguana on it and a leaf-green overalls, but much of his body was covered by a gray blanket.

"Isn't that the cutest thing you've ever seen?" Penn looked up, feeling her heart stir. "I went out to greet you and found this beautiful creature. He was sleeping and alone, so I decided to keep him company until someone came to claim to be the father of this beautiful peach." J.J couldn't fall for the charms of that baby, after becoming a mother her Achilles heel was children.

"Was he alone, Penelope, are you sure there was no one with him?" Luke couldn't help but wonder how it was possible that they had left a baby, alone, in the middle of a hallway in a federal building. "Positive, I've been there for about ten minutes and I haven't seen anyone approach him."

The team brought their full attention to the mysterious stroller, looking for some sign of what would be the perpetrators. Hanging there was a gray-colored bag with a small giraffe keychain; inside it was the necessities for any kind of emergency that might happen. Diapers, change of clothes, some food, powdered milk, a bottle, everything necessary for a baby.

"We should check the cameras to see who brought him here" Matt suggested, feeling his nose being invaded by the smell of baby cologne, a very mild and almost hypnotic one.

"It's a blind spot, Matt." Tara replied, noticing how the little guy rolled over and let out an adorable yawn, falling back asleep. "He's too cute." Penelope's eyes seemed to shoot hearts.

"We should move him out of the hallway, it's drafty and he might catch a cold." J.J brought her hands up to the carriage and began to push it, being followed by the rest of the people back to their cubicles.

Despite the movement, the little boy, who was now nicknamed "peach" thanks to Garcia, remained in that deep sleep.

"I wish I had that deep sleep" Emily smiled, looking at peach's features.

He looked like someone.

Who was it?

"I want to go back to those times where my only problem was sleeping and eating" Rossi commented, causing his colleagues to laugh.

"I don't understand how a baby could have gotten up there without anyone seeing him. It's a building full of federal agents, there's no way no one saw anything." Matt nodded at Luke's words. "Let's jump to conclusions, how did a sleeping baby get here? There's no way he pushed his own car to get here." J.J peeled his gaze from the car, feeling a light bulb in his head turn on.

"In the bag there were juice boxes, it is unlikely that they are for him. It is recommended that at twelve months they can only have juice, so they may be from the parent or he has a brother or sister accompanying him" Rossi smiled, nodding at the words the young woman was saying. It was quite logical coming from the mother bear.

"If that were so, where is this responsabl-"

"Excuse me," A high pitched voice interrupted Luke's sentence "I believe you have my brother."

The group turned to see where the voice was coming from. A small figure was standing behind them, he looked quite calm and was running his hands down his brown pants.

The small glasses were drooping down the bridge of his nose, his hair was disheveled just like his little brother's and his hands were arranging the sleeves of his blue hoodie.

"I-is he your brother?" Emily stood at the height of the youngest, who was nodding before he approached the baby carriage and took to watching the little one, inwardly thankful that he remained in his deep sleep.

"I just went to the bathroom and when I came back he was gone." The little boy drew an elongated smile, taking in the faces of everyone around the stroller. " You're federal agents, so I didn't panic too much when I didn't see him."

The boy settled on the floor, taking off the backpack he was carrying and pulled out of it a book, which had in golden letters the title of "The Little Prince." Apparently, it was in French.

"How do you know we're federal agents?" Luke seemed just as surprised as the others, who didn't understand how the youngest could remain calm after taking his brother away, and besides, he knew they were federal agents.

"It says so on your badge, sir" The small hand pointed in the direction of the badge hanging from his pants, causing everyone to turn their gaze to it. "Besides, my mom told me."

"And where is your mom?" Rossi was the one who took the word, smiling at the confidence the young man possessed.

"That's a good question, sir. I'd like to know where she is, too." He shrugged, trying to remember what the woman had told him before leaving him in the hallway of the BAU office. "I know she told me, but at the moment I can't remember. It was too noisy when she said it."

The rest were silent. The little boy was handling a rather formal vocabulary, one that is very strange for his age, plus he looked quite interested in reading his book than paying attention to the rest of the stares.

"Excuse me, sweetheart… But how old are you?" Penelope smiled friendly towards the young man, who took his eyes off his interesting book.

"Five and a half, but many say from the way I talk I'm older."

Luke opened his mouth, surprised at the young age he possessed and that, moreover, he was in charge of his brother.

"What about your brother, how old is he?"

"He's eight months and two weeks old, he's still not close enough to say he's nine months old, so I'd rather be exact."

Emily was increasingly sure that he looked like an exact copy of someone she knows, but she couldn't associate it.

"Even so," Continued the young boy "there's something you guys haven't asked me" the book took a step back, closing it and setting it down on his lap.

"What's that, kiddo?" Tara asked.

"My name or my brother's" The group looked at each other. He was right, they had been so preoccupied with finding out about the person in charge of them or their age that they had overlooked asking his name.

"You're right, that was rude of us, what's your name?" Matt fixed his gaze on the young figure, who was giving them a smile where one of his front teeth was missing.

"I'm Alex, well… Actually my name is Alexander, but my mom and dad call me Alex, except when they're mad." A small giggle escaped Jennifer's mouth. "And my brother's name is Oliver, but we call him Oli."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Alex." Matt's hand extended in the direction of the little boy, who shook it with a smile. "What about you guys, what are your names?"

The group smiled, introducing themselves to each other so that the young boy could remember each name without a problem. After this, the little boy began to repeat the names, making sure he could remember each one well and be able to get each name right.

"Okay, Alex. Now that we know each other, I want to ask you a question" J.J addressed the little one, who gave him his full attention.

"Shoot, Miss J.J" His answer caused everyone to laugh, letting the little guy's charisma win them over.

"What are you doing here? I don't think you decided to come here at nine o'clock at night with your brother and mother just to see the place."

"Well, we actually came to see my dad." Admitted the little boy, adjusting his glasses.

"Your dad? And where is he?" Penelope searched with her gaze, as if she were on her computer looking up the information on her servers.

"It's a surprise! Dad doesn't know we're here, it's the first time we've come to see him at work. I wanted to surprise him so I asked Mom if she could bring me here, and since I've been good, she agreed." Proudly, Alex reached into his backpack for a neatly folded piece of paper. He opened it and held it out to J.J., who was surprised at the grades on that slip of paper.

"Wow, I see only A's here" The printout passed from hand to hand, noting that every course had been passed with the highest grade.

"Yep, even sports! Mr. Adams, my teacher, said I'd been the fastest in the class. Even though I prefer literature, I got along better with letters than balls."

Emily was sure she was a clear copy of the youngest on her team, Spencer Reid.

Wait, where was Spencer?

"Where is Spencer?" Emily turned her gaze to her buddies, who were handing the paper back to Alex so he could put it in his backpack.

"He said he was going to do some stuff on the fourth floor, then he'd be on his way here." Tara replied, turning her attention back to the little boy. "By the way, what's your dad's name? Maybe we can help you look for him, we're the best profiling group in the whole FBI, so we can find him fast."

"His name is Dad!"

"And what's your mom's name?"

"Mom?"

The group went blank. It was clear that a five-year-old wouldn't know what his father or mother's name was. Despite being quite intelligent, to him his parents were called "Mom and Dad."

But it seemed they had managed to summon something, for after mentioning the progenitor of both, little Oliver interrupted their conversation with a whimper announcing that his bedtime was over, plus his beloved mother figure was missing.

"Oh no…"

Alex moved in the direction of the backpack, opening it to look for his brother's pacifier.

The longer they lingered, the louder and louder the little boy's crying got. J.J tried to cuddle him, trying to soothe him while Emily rocked the stroller back and forth and Tara hummed a lullaby.

Luke and Matt were trying to distract him, waving their hands in front of him and making funny faces. Rossi was trying to help Penelope and little Alex with the search for the pacifier, who would occasionally bring his hands to his ears to stop the sound of his brother for a couple of seconds.

But silence came in surprise, causing everyone to stop their actions. Their gazes turned to the baby, who was giving a giggly laugh and wiggling his feet, babbling something. It looked like Oliver was feeling something.

"What's going on here?" a female voice interrupted them, again directing their gaze back.

A tall woman, who was wearing a simple beige sweater and black pants plus black converses, was approaching the stroller. The group of people moved away from her, who was leaving a plastic bag with a box in it on one of the desks and holding the baby in her hands.

She made sure to settle him on her shoulder, stroking his back slowly. Alex smiled, moving closer to the young woman and hugged her side, letting his glasses lift a little from being so tight against her.

"Mommy! Where were you, I thought you'd left me alone forever! Well… Not alone, I was with Oli but you know what I mean." The woman let out a giggle, bringing her free hand to the younger one's disheveled hair and stroked it, feeling the younger one squeeze tighter and tighter.

"Alex, love, I told you I was going to the store to buy Daddy's donuts, don't you remember?" She pushed little Oliver away so she could kiss his forehead and settle him back into the stroller. Her hands, now free, went to Oli's side and took a small pacifier, bringing it up to the baby's mouth, which he immediately accepted to begin sucking on.

"Oh… That's what you told me."

Thewhole group let out a laugh, noticing the little one's rosy cheeks. The woman, now recognized as "mommy", turned to look at the group who had taken it upon themselves to care for her two children.

"Gee, sorry for ignoring you guys." The girl giggled, giving them the same look Alex had given them a few minutes ago, fixing on each one. "Thanks for watching them, I know Alex is responsible, but I'm glad to know there were older ones around."

"You don't have to, Alex was a sweetheart. We were nosy and took his little brother, it was our mistake." Emily admitted.

"That's right, Mommy! I went to the bathroom and they had taken Oli" The young woman simply laughed, kissing the younger boy's forehead before speaking again.

"It's okay, kiddo. They did the right thing, they did the reasonable thing."

"We tried to find out who his parents were, but he told us their names were mom and dad" Alex nodded, looking at his progenitor who seemed quite amused by the whole situation.

Alex took her mother's hand, motioning her to come closer to tell her something. The female complied, listening intently to what her young son was saying before she let out a giggle and nodded, returning to her position.

"Well, actually called me mommy. But before I was called mommy I had another name, pumpkin. My name is Amanda, but at home they call me mommy or baba." Alex opened his eyes, surprised that his mother had another name besides "mommy."

"It's a pleasure, Amanda. I see all your names start with a vowel." Rossi was the first to speak, reaching out to shake Amanda's hand. "Your husband's too?"

"No, he's the exception." The femme admitted, beginning to wave to the round of people standing there.

For a couple of minutes, the group began a pleasant conversation where they talked about the time she was missing. They had jumped to the wildest conclusions, but they knew that at some point they would meet the mother of those two angels.

"Oh, I bought a lot of donuts now that I remember, do you like them? They're my husband's favorite." The woman walked over to the bag, from which she pulled out the box and smiled.

The group appreciated the gesture, beginning to receive and distribute the pastry among those present.

A chocolate-covered doughnut with sprinkles on top was received by each person.

Wait… Her husband's favorite?

Emily looked at the two little ones, then her gaze went to the young woman, then to the doughnut and her eyes went back to the little ones.

Emily could feel her head smoking from the way she worked.

No, it wasn't possible.

Spencer would have told her if it was.

"Excuse me, Amanda…" The mentioned one looked up, fixing her gaze on Emily as little Alex took small bites of his donut and shared it with his mother. "What-what did you say your husband's name was?"

"Oh! I didn't say it, actually." She admitted, taking a bite of the donut she was sharing with Alex. "His name is Spe-"

The answer interrupted by the shout Alex gave, turning away from his mother to run down the hallway for the new presence.

"Daddy! Daddy!"

Spencer peered down the elevator, noticing how the small little man ran into his arms and pounced on him.

"Alex! What are you doing here, little one?" He carried the little guy, leaving a resounding kiss on his cheek and looked him in the face. His cheeks were covered with chocolate and his glasses were drooping gracefully down his nose. "Are you alone, who brought you?"

"Mom did!" The youngest was smiling happily, playing with his progenitor's hair. "Dad, did you know Mom has another name besides Mom, her name is Amanda!"

"Yes, buddy. I knew mommy's name was Amanda, but I affectionately call her Mandi."

"I thought you called her Mommy, not Mandi."

Spencer carried his little boy over to the cubicles, finding his work group/friends staring at him with stupefaction on their faces. He was sure their faces were perfect for being part of a surreal painting.

"Spence, surprise." Amanda approached the man, leaving a kiss on his lips and received her husband's kiss back.

"What are you two doing here?" Spencer looked at his family with some surprise.

"Three, daddy. Oli's here too" The little hand pointed toward the stroller, where the movement of the youngest of the Reid family could be heard.

Spencer walked over to the baby carriage, leaving the eldest of the Reid brothers on the floor and peeked out so he could see his little boy, his newest devotion.

"Hi Oli, are you awake yet? Daddy's here." Oliver watched his father with his big hazel eyes, moving his hands so he could reach one of his father's curls. "Hey, buddy. How big are you." The man took the little guy in his hands, drawing him into his body so he could carry him, smiling at the feel of his son's movement stopping as he began to pet him.

The whole group was silent, unable to believe that the youngest of their team had such a well-kept secret.

A wife and two children! How was it possible that even Emily hadn't known about this?

"Spencer…w-what is this? When did you intend to tell us? About your wife, about your children, about-about this!" Emily waved her hands around trying to take in the situation, feeling the pieces of the puzzle coming together on their own.

"I thought Hotch was going to tell you before he left." Spencer looked at the group of people, stopping his gaze on his wife who lifts her shoulders, trying to tell him "don't even look at me, I didn't say anything."

"Clearly he didn't say it" Jennifer looked at her best friend, trying to look as relaxed as possible, but it was impossible, I guess no one was trying to "act cool" at that moment.

"Well, I guess it's time to introduce you to my family." Amanda smiled, leaning against one of the desks as she watched Alex approach her. "This is Amanda, Amanda Reid, my wife" The young woman waved her hand, crossing her arms again with a smile on her mouth. She loved that he said my wife. "This is Alexander Reid and Oliver Reid, Alex and Oli of affection." Little Alex smiled, again waving to everyone with his hand and took what was left of the donut his mother offered him.

"How long have you been married?" Next to speak was Rossi, who felt Hotch had betrayed him by keeping that secret so long.

"Well, married… we've been married for five years. Dating we've been dating for seven…" Amanda turned to look at her husband.

"Seven years, five months and thirteen days." Spencer nodded, looking down at the baby who had just fallen asleep in his arms.

"So…" Matt looked over at Alexander, who looked amused eating the sprinkles on top of the donut.

"Yeah, Alex was a surprise. We knew we wanted to be parents, but we wanted to live together first, and well… The first night of living together caused Alex's arrival." Amanda laughed with her cheeks flushed, noticing how Spencer's cheeks were also filled with that crimson red. "Oli arrived after a couple of tries. We didn't want Alex to be alone and have to read all the books to himself."

"Now he reads Oli to sleep, like the good big brother he is" Spencer smiled, placing little Oliver in the most comfortable place to sleep.

After that confession, the pair settled in at the desk where the woman was sitting.

"I have so many questions I can't process, I really don't understand. So…how come we didn't see this in your apartment when you went to jail? We'd be completely blind if we hadn't noticed." Penelope had gotten to a good point, causing the friends to nod and the pair looked at each other before they could respond.

"It's because you guys went to Spence's old apartment." Amanda replied. "When we had Alex, we outgrew the apartment. We tried to look at an apartment in the same building, but they were all the same, so we pooled our paychecks and managed to rent a slightly larger apartment down the street from there. After Oliver came along we had to move to a bigger place." Spencer nodded, wiping the corner of his son's lip, which was full of chocolate. "But when Spence needs to focus, he goes to his old apartment to work. Diana was living there for a season and then she came to our house." The young woman pushed her hair back, feeling her husband's warm hand wrap around her hip.

The group was attentive to what they were saying, nodding at every word and concentrating on the story they had for them. Like little children, they formed around the young couple to follow their narrative.

"When Mexico and jail happened, it was really an ordeal. Hotch called us to get into the program with him and Jack, we had to go into hiding because we were Spencer's immediate family. Before Diana could hide she was kidnapped and, well, you know the rest of the story." Amanda's hand went to her son's hair, playing with the unruly locks of the scalp. They were exactly the same as his father's.

"But we would have known, I would have figured it out! H-how did you…?" Penelope was utterly convinced she would have found that information.

"It wasn't in the system." Spencer admitted. "I begged Hotch not to release it, it's manually, on paper. But online it's not, it was more likely to endanger my family." The young couple looked at each other and gave each other a smile. Sighing, Spencer continued. "Something like Foyet and Hotch would have happened, it was too dangerous. I wasn't willing to lose them and place them in danger."

Finally, the group of people began to understand, nodding at what he was saying and relaxing after that news.

"Spence had intended to tell them, but after Cat Adams, Scratch, Mexico, jail, Diana… I don't know when the time was right, to be honest with you." A collective chuckle filled the room echoing at that moment.

"Wow Spencer, you sure had this secret well hidden." Luke smiled, patting the younger man on the back, who was grinning broadly after breaking free of that secret that had him gnawing inside.

"Well, it's never too late to throw a welcome home party for the new family." Rossi smiled, moving closer to Amanda so he could hug her.

Mandi smiled receiving greetings from everyone, feeling like she was home.

"Good, then I'll start buying presents from now on. For both Oliver and Alex." Penelope smiled, receiving a wide smile from Alexander, who was the most excited to receive gifts. "I've missed so many birthdays and Christmases already."

"So…" Alex stole glances at everyone, who looked quite intrigued by his words. "Can I tell you aunties and uncles?"

That was the straw that broke the excitement level in the entire group, causing everyone to nod and smile broadly, feeling their chest heaving with joy.

"Did you see, Alex? Now you have lots of aunts and uncles to share, plus cousins." Spencer fell into step with his son, who was hugging him by the neck with a smile.

"That's right daddy, lots and lots!" The little boy turned to look at them all before stretching his arms out to hang around Luke's neck, who was greeting him with a smile that went so far as to make his cheeks ache.

The entire group stayed talking for a couple more minutes before deciding to head home to relax after a full day full of excitement.

Before she could get on the elevator, Emily smiled in the direction of the group of people.

"I think we know who his daddy is." Tara's whisper caused Emily to laugh and step onto the elevator, letting the doors close and signal the end of the work day.

The day had closed on a high note, not only for the capture of a criminal, but also for the discovery of a new family.

And Spencer couldn't be happier to finally reunite their families.

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If you like it, don't forget to like and repost it.

kissesssss, bai. 💕

[deadbaguette]

I don't want to be repetitive but I love how you make the characters so tender and loving,,, so here's a weird request, do you have any scars hc? I mean, do (insert character) hide them? Or let their lover kiss and caress them? Oh, which characters I mean you say? Your pick, have fun!

It’s not repetitive at all 🥹 I love LOVE LOVE it when people describe my art as tender and loving because that’s absolutely my favourite thing to draw. But omggg scar headcannons … you just spoke to a specific part of my brain bcs I love thinking about scars, beauty marks, etc. I don’t have the time to make a fully fleshed out scar map, BUT alongside a small doodle for the character I have a definitive scar map for (Diomedes) I can share all the scars I hc and how they’re treated :D AUUGSGDH thank you for giving me the excuse to do this I always have so answering your asks <3

Scar hcs:

Firstly I think the only character I have a set in stone scar hc for is Diomedes! I draw him more often than I would like to admit, so the ones on his face are: one across his left eyebrow, one by his lip/mouth, one across the nose, one on the right cheek, one on the shoulder, one on the foot. He is the most scarred character I draw, and this is largely due to the fact that I hc him (it’s probably also to an extent canon) as reckless in battle. He’s not a pristine clean warrior, he’s all too familiar with blood and war. He carries the reckless scars he gained in Thebes with the other Epogoni throughout his adulthood, and for so long they served as a reminder of where he came from. Death and violence that’s haunted him throughout his entire life, and these scars are symbols of that. So, what’s a few more to gain in Troy? It’s not like it’ll make him look any less battle scarred if he gains a few more. He hasn’t had a good reason to care about his life until now, scars not only remind him of that but also make him feel like he can’t change it. But… I like to imagine the people that care for him (whether this be Odysseus, Sthenelus, or in an AU Penelope) treat them with such delicacy and care that it almost creates an entire other association for them. Sthenelus gently tending to a wound that will surely scar, so that when it does heal it no longer carries the association of a mistake in battle but instead a tender moment shared between them and them only. Odysseus and Penelope kissing the scars on Diomedes’ face is their favourite pasttime, because if he won’t love them (he feels indifferent to them), they absolutely will. A tender kiss to the cheek, a gentle kiss to just above his eye, a quick peck against the side of his mouth, a loving press against his nose that they would have to tiptoe to reach. Diomedes never felt any love, hatred, or feelings in general towards his scars. He never made any more to hide them, he wore what was convenient. If his new scars weren’t covered by the clothes he would wear, so be it. But in a way he’s grown to love them, or at least the memories and feelings they hold.

Will be more hcs below the cut!

Achilles is very unscarred. Like the only scar on his body by the time he was dead was the one on his heel. Patroclus is also relatively unscarred, but he has a few. There is one on his hand that Achilles loves to kiss, but like in a very specific way. I hc Patroclus to almost always the one to initiate the physical contact, and he tends to cradle Achilles’ face with his hand (literally one of my fav form of physical touch) and Achilles always leans into it and kisses the scar on his hand. Patroclus never really liked his scars, so he tends to cover them up. But I think I believe Achilles loved wholeheartedly every part of Patroclus and movements he’s spent with him and vice versa. Every scar he’s gained will have a story to tell, so even if Patroclus doesn’t show it to others, there is a story that Achilles will hear. It would be something as dramatic as gaining it in battle or something as small as “you got this when you fell from a tree? I love it.” They’re as much friends as they are lovers, and they actively choose to continue to be in each other’s lives. If this means sitting together recounting the tales of how Patroclus nicked himself carving wood a few years ago and scarred, so be it.

Hector… I need to talk about this one!!! So normal and sane about him. He’s undoubtedly scarred, what with him fighting at the front but he’s no Achilles. Hector hides his scars but not because he’s ashamed of them, it’s quite the contrary because he in a strange way enjoys looking at them, but rather that he knows it causes his family worry. Hector loves his family so much, and he sees the worry and sadness in their eyes when he comes back with new scars to Andromache. How she’ll stare at them like it’s another piece of him lost, and it won’t be long until he is wholly gone too. He hides them so she can focus on the him that’s there now, and comforts her saying that he will come back to her. When Kassandra looks at the new scars on his chest and she can’t help but sigh. She told him to be more careful, but truly in the end they’re both fighting a fruitless fight against the fates. Kassandra knows this, and she keeps count of how many her brother has until he gains his last lethal one. He’s hiding them so as to not cause his sister distress. She knows he will never believe her if she tells him what will happen to him, but she cannot help but mourn for the living man.

Agamemnon has quite a few scars. He’s the lord of men, the shepard of the people, and wealthy beyond what he needs. The scars don’t mean much to him, and if anything they’re even more a testament to his power. He’s no Achilles who can come out of battle unscarred, but perhaps that’s the difference in what makes him the leader of the Achaeans. The scars he bears are a symbol of his humanity and but don’t take away from his power and image. He SURVIVED these scars. But deep down? I do think it’s a little more complicated than this. I don’t think I’ve discussed Agamemnon that much, but I do find his character really interesting. His family name is uhh tarnished to say the least, but throughout all of it he’s had his brother with him. Agamemnon cares a lot about Menelaus, he goes to war for him, he sacrifices his daughter for him, and they endure 10 years of war together. Agamemnon maybe doesn’t care about his own, but he remembers every scar Menelaus has. Like that one scene in book 3 yk where he just starts doing all the dramatics of MENELAUS I WILL AVENGE YOU MY DEAR BROTHER and Menelaus is just sitting there… ever so slightly wounded… being like brother it’s fine and Agamemnon still goes like MACHAON DROP EVERYTHING AND TEND TO HIS WOUND IMMEDIATELY I WILL SLAUGHTER THESE DISHONOURABLE TROJANS FOR DARING TO LOOK IN YOUR DIRECTION MENELAUS. It’s just kinda silly and sweet how much he cares about his little brother. Ever scrape Menelaus got growing up I imagine it was Agamemnon tending to it, and remembers them all to prevent him getting hurt further. As an older brother, he made it his sworn duty to make sure Menelaus grew up strong and out of harms way.

[boringbones]

What type of player are you?

I’m almost never one hundred percent satisfied with my game. When I am satisfied, I start looking for a flaw to "fix." For this reason, and others, I end up not fully enjoying the gameplay. It’s my Achilles' heel. The two images above are an achievement I reached.

Let me explain: In the first image, my game is running at over 100 FPS without any filters (maybe just an SSAO to better harmonize the scene elements and add a bit more depth), while in the second image, my game is running at around 55 FPS but with a ton of filters. Both are in small maps.

I’m always weighing what’s better or worse, constantly balancing things out. On the one hand, I’m proud that I managed to make the game look incredibly beautiful with a single lighting mod that makes it seem like it's full of filters but without the heavy processing load of those filters.

On the other hand, the filters in the second image are applied to my previous lighting mod, which was a bit more "balanced," so to speak. In other words, the elements between the filters and the lighting work more "harmoniously" together.

But when we’re trying to create this ecosystem, we need to think broadly. In other words, if I apply my new lighting mod to the second image, the result will be completely different (which doesn’t necessarily mean better), because I’m designing the neighborhood based on what I see with the filters. If I remove them, it turns into a strange mix.

Meanwhile, the first image was created with this restriction in mind, and it was necessary to harmonize all the elements (meaning recoloring plants and buildings based on what the game was showing me). If a player uses this neighborhood with any lighting mod other than mine... the result will be disappointing.

What I’m trying to say is this: Often, as creators, we strive to present the best and most complete version of our work to the world, and that work depends on a combination of factors to represent the vision we have. These factors involve the colorimetry of the environments (i.e., the colors and textures we apply to buildings), the colorimetry of the plants, terrain, and streets. This means we apply modifications to all these elements based on our vision, and if the player is using any other mod or set of filters, they may never see the same thing. In some cases, this can be good, but in most cases, the result just feels “off.” For example, in the gif below, the filters I’m using are the same, but the lighting mods are different. Both are my mods.

While the first leans toward a softer tone, the second ends up highlighting a green tint (almost like the Matrix). I like both, but I have a preference for the less greenish tone since all the elements in the scene seem to blend better with the environment that was built.

However, see what happens when I show the same neighborhood without the filters. In other words, it wasn't designed to be viewed without them. The colors and textures (even with two different lighting mods) no longer convey the same visual quality with which it was originally envisioned.

Pleasantville carries the quality of having been designed with only the lighting mod in mind, without any filters.

And the result looks charming! I know I’m emphasizing a rather curious point, but what I mean is that building neighborhoods is complicated when we consider all the necessary elements to create harmony within the scenes. When we creators recommend that you use a specific set of mods or filters, it’s not out of vanity, but so that you can see the world we’ve created through the correct lens. Otherwise, what was meant to be a greenish world might look too rocky, and what was supposed to have a nostalgic tone might end up looking like a strange mix of elements.

In the end, the question I ask is: What type of player are you? A player who cares about these little details, or a player who thinks these concerns are irrelevant and do not interfere with their gameplay?

To sum it all up: To achieve the ideal visual, each mod or adjustment needs to be considered as part of a broader ecosystem. It’s not just about adding or removing filters, but about how all the elements (lighting, colors, and mods) interact and harmonize within the scene. By customizing the game to reach this level of quality, we may end up making the experience unsatisfying for those not using the same adjustments. This quest for perfection can be a solitary journey, though it is a fun and laborious one.

[dootznbootz]

I went on tiktok to just watch some silly Odysseus videos but then I mostly saw people going like "Yeah, maybe Odysseus cried on Calypso' island every day but honestly he had that coming after what he did Achilles and Patroclous/Circe!!!" and "Everything that happens in Odyssey is deserved cuz he took Patrochilles to war!!!" and "I feel so bad for Circe and Calypso and Penelope, they deserved better!!!"

For fucks sake I beg you, read anything different from Millers bs and like educate yourself- And please stop goddamn saying that rape victim. deserved it.

Circe probably didn't give a flying fuck, Calypso is a rapist and abuser and Penelope deserved everything she wanted and SHE WANTED ODYSSEUS

I think I've had enough internet for today, imma go wash my eyes with bleach. Anyways sorry for ranting here, i hope you don't mind it lmao

It's alright. I absolutely understand the vents about the whole thing. :'D No one deserves to be a victim of such a thing no matter WHAT they've done. I hope your eyes are okay after the bleach

Like Odysseus does so many fucked up things but Calypso and Circe? He is the victim. Period. It's very clear that Odysseus is in extreme distress on Ogygia. And Circe wasn't some sort of FwB situation. There's fear and numbness in the language he uses when talking about it. There's so much victim blaming and it SUCKS.

Even then, Odysseus' journey was kind of about "temptation" or just straight up "Die or get out of my sea." From Poseidon. "I don't want you in my waters so I'm gonna try and give you things that will keep you on land or just kill you."

Immortal goddesses wanting you would be many people's dream come true but not for Odysseus. And I think that's the point. His determination, how he clawed his way back into the arms he never wanted to leave in the first place, is incredible. Many people would've given up and just started a new life but he never would because no life he could ever create would compare to the life he had before. Even if it's different, it's what he's always wanted.

He literally tells Calypso "I'm not stopping until I'm home. I don't care if I suffer more until I do. I'm going home."

“Mighty goddess, do not be angry with me over this. I myself know very well Penelope, although intelligent, is not your match                                          to look at, not in stature or in beauty. But she’s a human being and you’re a god. You’ll never die or age. But still I wish, every moment to get back to my home,                                                       to see the day of my return. And so, even if out there on the wine-dark sea some god breaks me apart, I will go on— the heart here in my chest is quite prepared to bear affliction. I’ve already had so many troubles, and I’ve worked so hard                                  through waves and warfare. Let what’s yet to come be added in with those.”

(Book 5, Johnston)

Circe's a goddess and what happened is nothing like Dionysus and Ariadne and Apollo and Hyacinthus for example. Circe never gave Odysseus a crown of stars and he would never go out of his way to kill 120 people for bothering her. They did not love each other and he can't refuse as she's a goddess.

If you interpret them sleeping together the entire year,(It's only explicitly said that they had sex once so that's what I go with personally.) that doesn't mean he was happy with it! Even then, the whole situation is not what a healthy FwB should look like! I'm asexual and even I know that no one in a FwB situation should have to BEG in any way that basically says "Please let me go or kill me" with supplication!!! The fact that he leaves so quickly he forgets one of his men? The fact that during Elpenor's funeral, he doesn't greet Circe himself? He was avoiding her. Wouldn't he want to get "one last night together" during Book 12 if they were fwb? 🙄

It's bonkers to me that people hate him for being a "cheater" when A.) having multiple lovers wasn't uncommon in Ancient Greece, and B.) the two people he is explicitly said to have "cheated" with, weren't his choice. He wasn't actively searching for pretty women either!!!

As mentioned, while it was common for men to have many lovers, Odysseus never had any listed unlike some of the other men. (not bashing any of them. I'm just making a point in comparison.) He also has no other children besides Telemachus in Homer's works. There's no evidence of him having other lovers other than speculation. (funny enough, I once read somewhere that the reason why Odysseus is so mean is because he doesn't "bond" enough with the other soldiers. 😂)

Does that mean he didn't have other lovers? Technically, Nope! It's just never explicitly stated either way. He has slaves but none were ever said to be concubines or that he sleeps with them. He has deep bonds with his fellow soldiers but that doesn't mean he sleeps with them. That doesn't mean people can't write or talk about him doing so even though it's not mentioned! Just like it also means that someone can write him not doing so as there's nothing that says it either way in Homer's Works! :D

It's fucked up when people say "He didn't try to leave Calypso enough" or something of the like. It just tells you how A.) they didn't read the Odyssey or have piss on the poor reading comprehension or B.) ...you should probably stay away from that person...

With Circe though??? I can understand the confusion but digging deeper and looking at the text, he wasn't having a good time. Or at the very least was walking on Eggshells the whole time. I hate bringing up that essay over and over again but like...I literally wrote everything there.

I also don't like how people take Circe's morally gray-ness away from her. Let her do something fucked up to be fucked up!!! Let her traumatize Odysseus!

Idk, I kind of hate that I'm "known" for this but I relate to this idiot asshole a lot and it means a lot to me that his story, despite what happens to him, has a happy ending :'D

[patrochillesvibes]

Some of your Patrochilles headcannons? 😋

Since you weren't specific, I'll give you a range:

1. Sorry Supergiant Games, but Achilles is not a Thor knockoff. Besides the lack of modern nutrition and healthcare, his descriptions (e.g. swift-footed) invoke imagery of a gymnast. Grace and agility are the domains of gymnasts. Female gymnasts are typically about 5'. Male gymnasts are about 5'3".

Now say you want to counter me and argue that his epithets are about running. Fine. Even better. Runners are fucking short!! With the exception of some sprinters for the very short races (e.g. Bolt), runners aren't big. Think about the physics. Height creates drag which reduces speed.

I think you need to unlearn Western beauty standards and toxic masculinity.

So here are my hcs for height (left Iliad, right modern AUs):

Patroclus' height is debatable. Given that he was a great wrestler, I made him big.

2. A bit more on physical characteristics:

Achilles - Achilles has really nice curls (3A or 2C) that are golden blonde. He keeps his hair long down to his shoulder blades or mid-back. He has green eyes. His body is toned and sleek like a runner. Not a lot of bulk to him. He can’t grow a beard for shit. Or chest hair (his body hair is very light blonde and fine). Yes, he does shave his chest. And Pyrrha will shave her legs. He has golden skin. In Iliad/TSoA/Hades Game the skin tone is borderline unnatural looking.

Patroclus - Patroclus has wavy/curly (2B or 2C) that are very dark brown or black. He keeps his hair short. He has brown eyes. He has facial hair like Dev Patel in The Green Night (I like his hair for Pat too!) and a tasteful amount of chest hair. He is muscular. This is close to what he looks like (though a bit more muscular than the model and with a little more chest hair tool). In my head while I was reading the books, I pictured him with olive skin. But I am a very big fan of Black Patroclus!! Overall, he is very average looking.

3. I'm taking a page out of @darlingsart book and saying Achilles has a bellybutton piercing. It's very blingy, very VMAs Britney Spears.

4. Achilles is professionally skilled at blowjobs. I'm talking expert-master level. As I mentioned many times before, Patroclus is hung. 9 inches and thick like a coke can. Sinking something with such girth down your throat takes practice.

5. Achilles is bigender. He is both a man and a woman. He is not geNdeRfLUid. He identifies as both genders. Sometimes he's a guy, and he likes to be called Achilles. Sometimes she's a girl, and she likes to be called Pyrrha.

At times gender can definitely be a source of stress for Achilles. He loves having a boy pussy and a girl cock, but sometimes he wants a girl pussy too. And boobs. He’s greedy and it can be frustrating that he can’t have it all at the same time.

Patroclus doesn’t really understand Achilles’ ‘gender thing.’ He sees Pyrrha as more of a roleplay persona than an actual gender/person. So you could say he’s a bit transphobic. (I'm also a huge huge huge fan of trans Pyrrha)

6. Achilles could best be described as a feral housewife. “He doesn’t cook, doesn’t clean...” type except undomesticated. Anger issues and the inability to keep his mouth shut means he’s incompatible with the modern workforce. He’s also incredibly spoiled.

I agree with some authors that he could be a singer/musician, dancer, gym instructor, dance instructor, model, and professional athlete. But your typical 9-5 does not work for him.

Patroclus would make a great doctor (my preferred profession for him), veterinarian, or EMT. I can also see him as a lawyer or firefighter.

7. Patroclus is a Soft Dom/Daddy. Achilles is a brat (sub). Achilles typically bottoms but only because he’s a needy cockslut. They are exclusively monogamous. Achilles is Patroclusexual and Patroclus is into feet (bisexual).

8. Achilles can’t sleep without Patroclus. If Patroclus ever has to go on an overnight work trip and he can’t bring Achilles, he has to stay on the phone with Achilles until he falls asleep. Achilles is usually a hyperventilating sobbing mess.

9. On the rare occasions that Patroclus had to shave his beard, Achilles was left sobbing. Inconsolable. It was like the end of the world for him.

10. I have a lot of thoughts on cooking. Iliad/TSoA/Hades Game Achilles can do basic cooking (especially soups and stews) and grilling. This was learned on Pelion. He cannot bake. Like at all. Yeast won’t rise. Sugar and salt will be mixed up. Baking powder and baking soda will be mixed up. It’s a disaster.

Modern AU Achilles can’t cook or bake AT ALL. He has no patience for it, so food is either burnt, overcooked, or undercooked. For the longest time, he thought the smoke detector going off was a food timer to let him know when the food was done. All his friends and family know this and will do anything to get out of eating his food. Except Patroclus. Pat will eat anything with a smile on his face. Of course, no one has the heart to tell him his cooking is terrible. Not that he would believe them because Patroclus already told him he enjoys his cooking and Patroclus’ opinion is the only one that matters. This is why you shouldn’t lie, Patroclus. You made your bed and now you need to lie in it.

You can find more of my thoughts under the my hcs tag.

Also, to anyone reading this ask... I got this ask maybe 2-3 days ago. Either yesterday or the day before I got 3 asks that have gotten lost in my inbox. If you sent me asks in that time period, please resend.

[vostok3-ka]

Hi Aisha, hope you're having a nice start to your week! For the writer truth or dare ask game: 🦴🔪🌵(could be a character playlist or not)❄️(could also be something you wanna write yourself!) 🍄, and 🏜️. I'd add more because all of these are great but this is already one too many lol so feel free to pick and choose which ones you wanna answer, ofc<3

Hi Max!!! Thank you! It's Eid tomorrow so that's a pretty sick way to start the week ;) Thank you so much for the ask!!!

🦴- Boy howdy is there a piece of media that inspires my writing haha. I have quite a few that it's hard to put name to them all. Whenever I read a book or watch a movie/show I always feel like I take something away from them in order to incorporate into my own writing, but if I were to choose a few specific pieces of media that really inspire my writing, it would be Hannibal, what with the beautiful imagery and the way it is almost poetic in its brutality. I think the writers of the show did a really good job, and I just absolutely adore it. True Detective (season one) is also a piece of media that REALLY influences my writing. I adore the gothic vibes, and I love the way they make the characters human, realistic, with lots of flaws, instead of making them into heroes, and I am just in love with the very synesthetic feeling it gives, I myself am synesthetic and I think it really resonated with me in a way, and gave me a lot of inspiration as in how to describe scenes and emotions. Catch-22, both the book, film, and tv show, have all inspired my idea of Bucky in the war, and I have a few songs including Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths, О как хотела мама by Shortparis, Две недели by Aigel, and O, Children by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, that heavily inspire a lot of my Russian-era Bucky Barnes writing, as well as, for some funny reason, the TV show Бригада. I just feel like the show really shows both the human and terrible, gritty side to organized crime that I am CERTAIN Bucky was involved in, in some way, shape or form. Another film/book that has, heavily and directly, inspired my both my fanfiction writing and original writing is the 2008 film, "Morphine" and the inspiration behind it, the novella by Bulgakov, Morphine. My fic Noch' Ulista Fonar' Apteka was very non-subtly inspired by Morphine, so much! AAAND- I better stop here before I write a whole essay about how media has influenced my writing, because I could literally go on forever and ever!!!! ;)

🔪- I think the weirdest thing that I have had to research for a writing project was for my fic Noch' Ulitsa Fonar' Apteka. I had to, somehow, figure out how to write drug addiction from a first hand perspective, and, of course, I myself have not, and never will take any form of recreational drugs, so I had to scout through many pages of google before finding this legendary gem of a website that has been a lifesaver for me. The website looks like it was made in 2008 and I honestly was a little worried about clicking on it, but it turned out fine haha. It has a bunch of really detailed first hand experiences with all sorts of drugs you could imagine, including withdrawal, good trips, bad trips, and coming down. I think I spent a few hours just reading and absorbing everything to try to write Bucky's experience, and honestly, I came away from the research with an even stronger desire to never try drugs, as most of the reports highlighted how the spiral began. But yeah! That might be the weirdest thing I have researched, unless of course, if you count the time I had to research equine veterinary care in 1980s Russia lmao.

🌵- Gilded Soul This is my favourite playlist I've created, and it's so gentle and sweet and I listen to the songs on it so often. I adore it so much! All the songs have memories and feelings attached to them and ugh- my favourite. Hope you enjoy too ;)

❄️- Oh my God I know exactly what this fic is. I really, REALLY want a fic dealing with the aftermath of Hydra and Department X/The Red Room's brainwashing on Bucky in TFAWS era, but in a way where it doesn't become the point of the fic, and is just like a part of him in subtle, slightly noticeable, and not overwhelming way. I want to see him struggle and yet stay strong, stay independent. I want to see him have realistic feelings towards things like therapy and such, considering the time period he is from, and the fact that he's probably been abused in such settings before. I want to see him make bad, unhealthy decisions while still remaining himself. I want to see him smoke his anger away, I want his staring problem to be addressed subtly as a leftover from when he was trained to look straight ahead while in parade rest, I really want to see him have headaches, mild psychosis, and all the realistic after-effects of electro-shock therapy, and yet, I really do not want to see it in a way that makes him dependent, or child-like. I want to see him get up, grit his jaw and move on. It isn't the healthiest way for somebody to cope, but it's the way I am guessing Bucky would cope. I want a fic that has an overarching plot where these issues are a subplot, as not to make it ALL about his recovery, instead being interesting and realistic in the world that he would be living in. I feel like I have said realistic so many times, and that is the core of it all. I want it to be as realistic and true to comic/film character as possible. I might not make much sense but yeah! That's what I really want to read, and I don't know who would be the best writer to write it!

🍄- OOOH I like this one! A headcanon I have is that Bucky and Natasha dance a lot. They are both trained dancers, and they love it, and they just put on gentle, nostalgic Russian music and dance so prettily together when they are alone!

🏜️- Oh for sure the types of comments that point out what affected them personally. I really want to connect to people through my writing and whenever somebody comments that a certain bit made them feel in a specific way I just absolutely melt in joy and delight!!!

Thank you so much for the many questions again, this was SO much fun to answer. Hope you have the loveliest of days!!!

[leynaeithnea]

watched some more animatics from your playlist btw and you're not escaping my brainrot sorryy

I liked the Scylla one , it had this bloody terrifying vibe to it that I really enjoyed and also I liked that the central part of Scylla's body, the one that resembles a human being kinda, was not done so that she just looked like a normal beautiful woman but she actually looked a little weird , like a creature ( at some point she even tilts her head like animals do and it's so cute kaksksksk )

The animatic that made me really lose my mind was the one for mutiny though, it was so good!!! The characters are so expressive ?? Their faces convey so much emotion?? Damn???

It immediately starts super great with eury panting so hard it looks like he's on the cusp of having a panic attack while he looks around at all the blood and the wreckage Kakdksksksj YES

He's so mad and then he gets out his sword to fight and does that thing where he drags his sword on the floor that is so extremely kaksksksjs YES YES

Then there's this shot right before they start fighting where you see both Ody and Eury and you realize how physically bigger eury is and it makes so much sense bc in this duo Ody is the mind and Eury rhe muscle! His right hand man! And yet Ody is not scared , he is actually sure he can take him ( hubrys again? A little ) and he does! The fight is so good bc ( again , I might be overanalyzing here ) you see how eury puts all his strength in every attack, like he puts his sword over his head and then hw swings it down towards Ody , he's all raw power and anger. Meanwhile Ody is all strategy, he's smaller but also quicker , and used his advantage to slash his opponent in few but calculated places, he slashes his back so that handling the sword will hurt and gets his eye so that eury can't really see that well

Also don't know if this is something intentional or if I'm making it up but while they are in the sun god's island eury's eye is bandaged ,and I'm thinking maybe it simbolizes that he can't really see straight anymore ? so blinded by the hunger and all the pain that he can't see just what he is about to cause? The danger he is about to face ?

And I also like how Ody is tied for this scene and how he bargains with Eury but is also trying to break free so that he can stop him creating even more tension during the scene bc you really want him to get free and intervene but he's too late

Mmmh yeah I think I'm done for now aksksks please add your thoughts if you want bc I'd really like to know what you think :)) <3

watched some more animatics from your playlist btw and you're not escaping my brainrot sorryy

I do not wish to escape it, rather dive into it head first :)

( at some point she even tilts her head like animals do and it's so cute kaksksksk)

ITS SO CREEPY RIGHT, great animatic

like he's on the cusp of having a panic attack while he looks around at all the blood and the wreckage Kakdksksksj YES

THE ANGST; YES ITS SO GOOOD

Then there's this shot right before they start fighting where you see both Ody and Eury and you realize how physically bigger eury is and it makes so much sense bc in this duo Ody is the mind and Eury rhe muscle! His right hand man! And yet Ody is not scared , he is actually sure he can take him ( hubrys again? A little ) and he does! The fight is so good bc ( again , I might be overanalyzing here ) you see how eury puts all his strength in every attack, like he puts his sword over his head and then hw swings it down towards Ody , he's all raw power and anger. Meanwhile Ody is all strategy, he's smaller but also quicker , and used his advantage to slash his opponent in few but calculated places, he slashes his back so that handling the sword will hurt and gets his eye so that eury can't really see that well

YOURE SO RIGHT OMG, also i think like, ody in Homer IS one of the best fighters only second to Achilles or smth like that iirc, so he 1000% CAN Take on Eury, im gonna yap about that in my mutiny post when my hands stop dying bc i have a LOT to say about Mutiny

Also don't know if this is something intentional or if I'm making it up but while they are in the sun god's island eury's eye is bandaged ,and I'm thinking maybe it simbolizes that he can't really see straight anymore ? so blinded by the hunger and all the pain that he can't see just what he is about to cause? The danger he is about to face ?

Woaaa thats fascinating it could be???? he got injured in the fight but the double meaning i can def see that in that...fascianting

And I also like how Ody is tied for this scene and how he bargains with Eury but is also trying to break free so that he can stop him creating even more tension during the scene bc you really want him to get free and intervene but he's too late

THATS CANON (stage directions during the livestream) ITS SO GOOD I LOVE IT ITS SO COOL HES TOO LATE ITS seigsegisegseugshe Ill have to go through the animatics later on to add my thoughts, maye Ill start a ask spam series on your blog one Im done with my thunder saga yapping :3 to keep this up a little longer

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

I had this dream where Achilles was just a teen living at the beach and the father was a scientist who invented a machine that helped you change forms.

It was not an accident when Achilles went inside the machine and started changing shapes. That machine had been built by a loving father with the purpose of releasing the beauty that threatened to burst his kid's body. And oh, how Achilles flew across that bruising sky among rainbow sparks chasing the trail the shapeshifting body created. There were wings and hooves, hair longer than the Earth, smiles wider than a mountain ranges. Achilles changed and changed, the body burned and burned. The features of that face were the ones of a lover, a child, the lady you passed down the street, the soldier weeping on the battlefield, the bird reaching its nest, the waves riding the wind, every surfer Achilles was friends with, every classmate, every teacher. Achilles was and was, 'til she landed in laughter and hit the arms of her father and used her boyish hands to clean the tears in her cheeks.

Do you think joy has a gender?

Achilles room had an aquarium on one wall. He liked to surf in the afternoon. If he climbed the aquarium and fell in it, the other side would be his father's lab. All the windows faced the sun and the sea. His father entered the machine a few minutes each day 'cause he wanted to look like a celebrity. They'd sit, his father showing Achilles men from magazines. I want his nose, he'd say. The father never faltered in his speech, no matter the form of his kid that day. Do you feel an adult yet, Achilles? Today are you just a little girl?

I dreamed Achilles got scared suddenly. The body returned to its caged form so fast, he reduced in weight and hidden under one of the lab tablets, Achilles cried.

Have your body ever ached with the strength required to keep all of you inside?

Have you ever felt the need to change who you are for the satisfaction of others.

Life can pressure you into your body or out of your body. I think both things are bad enough.

Some people want to gain muscle or lose weight or get bigger boobs or a straighter nose so they can correctly breathe or get a penis or change the color of their hair or get pointy ears or correct their vision or—

We are always ourselves. I am Achilles, because I don't know how to drive just like a kid, but I have my own bank account like an adult. I cry watching anime, I'm writing a thesis on linguistics. I dyed my hair, I removed my wisdom teeth, I am not my body, my body is me.

I woke up thinking "hey, the father started having fun, but soon the expectations of others and the standards strange to him pushed him on a path of self-destruction" and "although the machine is not the answer to Achilles' problems, it's the magical vehicle that gives the kid the strength to face the world and search for what he needs. Similar to a magical kiss that breaks a spell, there's real love in fairytales, so why there's wouldn't be real hope for us and our bodies?"

It's the closest I've ever been to explaining why I am agender. Where the concept should be, there is a void I don't know how to dive in. I am more than my body, my body is mine, I like my body, but it is not all there is. How do I feel?

I'm Achilles. I'm not sure there is a name for what I am or a term that can describe me (it's my first time living, you know). For now, I just want to fly in this sky and burn.

[kimium]

For the latest ask game: F, K, P, U!

(From this ask meme HERE)

Thanks for the ask, Shreedle!!! Always love your asks!

F. What's the longest you've ever been in a fandom?

That depends on what we mean by "been in a fandom". If we simply mean enjoying/watching a series then my two longest fandoms are Sailor Moon/Pokemon. If we mean creating content for it then my longest fandom is SDR2 (since 2016).

K. What character has your favourite development arc/the best development arc?

I think Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket has my favourite character development of all time. Picture this: it's early 2000s shoujo anime/manga. Your main heroine is supposed to be sweet, innocent, and kind. She's supposed to be caring, giving, and compassionate. When she meets her brooding love interest it's supposed to be her love, warmth, and giving of herself that wins him over.

Tohru Honda takes these tropes and turns them on their head. Now, originally the audience is met with the heroine I just described. However, as Fruits Basket goes along it cracks open the tropes by lacing them with one of the underlying themes of the series: Change is scary but we have to embrace it. Wishing for eternity will only lead to rot and decay of something good.

Watching the cracks form in Tohru as the series reveals her politeness is a defense mechanism as well as a feeble childish desire to keep her father alive. Watching Tohru slowly accept that selfishness isn't always inherently bad in regards to Kyo sent a shiver down my spine the first time I read the series.

I also love Tohru Honda because of Akito Soma, who is a character foil to her is Top Tier.

P. Invent a random AU for any fandom.

I think the best AUs are when everything is the same except for one minor thing, either for humour or drama. Anyways, here are a few that came to mind:

-KHR: Everything is the same except Shouichi uses a different flame (not Sun).

-Dr. Stone where everything is the same except Xeno/Stanley were dating Byakuya before the Petrification Event. Senku knows this but says nothing.

-FE Fates where the Trio don't make it to Nohr or Hoshido and are stuck in Valla (where time works differently).

(Also, this is an AU that I've already created with my friend M34GS, but I'm in love with our Twisted Wonderland "Sort of Saw Franchise AU". Same with our Bar AU.)

U. Three favourite characters from three different fandoms and why they're your favourites.

Okay. Well, I already talked explicitly about Tohru Honda who is one of my most favourite characters ever. I'll pick others but know she's on my top favourite character list.

First Character: Gojo Satoru (JJK)

Yeah, shut up. I know. This is a basic choice but let me explain. Before I knew his backstory, Gojo was a favourite because I am a Huge Sucker for Over Powered characters. Especially those with eye powers or who are confident because of their abilities.

However, what truly cemented Gojo as a favourite is his backstory with Geto. I love character foils but they're also Achilles and Patroclus coded. My heart aches when I think about how they're the embodiment of a romantic tragedy. Fandom jokes that they made their "KFC break up" everyone's problem but it's true. They're so entangled and in love with one another that they'll literally burn the world down together. And in a shonen manga no less! Truly, I've never seen two male characters so explicitly hinted to have been together in my entire lifetime of watching shonen series.

(Side note: Gojo's line "Love is the greatest curse of them all" from JJK 0 lives rent free in my brain. How can I hear that line with my own two ears and not go feral over it?)

Second Character: Vil (Twisted Wonderland)

Last year when I first got into the game if someone told me I would end up loving Vil, I would have laughed at them. I would have never expected it since normally Vil's character archetype (obsessed with looks/beauty) isn't my type. Usually because I think of characters with a mix closer to Asmo (Obey Me) and Cater (also from Twisted Wonderland).

Vil took all my expectations and threw them away. To start, Vil is a hard working, dedicated perfectionist. Vil doesn't accept anything less than his best effort because he has clear goals in mind he wishes to accomplish. Also, Vil doesn't consistently berate people for not understanding subject areas he's an expert in. One character trope I hate are smug characters who think everyone is "an idiot" because others don't know what they're talking about. Vil doesn't do that and instead will guide others (even forcibly) through the steps.

However, what drew me closer into loving Vil is how he is an excellent commentary on society's immense pressure on famous people. Can you even imagine from day one knowing every little thing you do can be picked apart or held against you? Society already demands we live up to impossible standards and that goes double for famous people. Watching Vil feel like he has to constantly be "Vil the super model/actor" and not "Vil as a person" is what drew me into his character.

Third Character: Sakura (Cardcaptor Sakura/Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles)

There is just something about Sakura as a character, regardless of iteration, that draws me to her. I think it's her strength of character and the refusal to give up on herself/others. I also admire how CLAMP writes Sakura as a character with convictions. Her goals remain and never waiver even in the face of any challenge. Finally, there is something fun about seeing the differences/similarities presented in Sakura a child in CCS to Sakura a young adult in Tsubasa.

[narwhalandchill]

the narwhal and/or childe >:)

where do i even start. my beloved. dearest. just an innocent lovely piece of the vast cosmos. a beautiful creature thats done nothing wrong ever in its life. is it such a crime to be hungry??? to be starving???? looking for a snack perhaps?? are french people really that important in the grand scheme of things?????? 🤔

anyway. like just the fact that this is genuinely the most stunning design this game has ever made for a non-human creature in terms of both visuals and audio (HAVE YOU HEARD IT TALK!??!?!?!?!?!??!! the whale calls the sonar clicks that one borderline growl-like sound at the very beginning of the boss fight its just??? oh my goddddddd). the narwhal is just genuinely breathtaking on that front alone. the boss fight design kinda sucks bc its just swimming away from u all the time i admit that its kinda just wenut but cunty but. i do adore just. watching it move its so ethereal 😭😭

and then theres the small tidbits of lore we have for it and its connection to childe when like. i have an Incredibly specific achilles heel for this kind of eldritch being (utterly alien but nonetheless not malicious in its true intent; simply comprehending the world at a completely different scale than the small creatures that fall on its path) and ESPECIALLY any sort of destined link and bond between such creatures and a mortal and like. this trope has been a thing for YEARS for me. and then its fucking happening for the character thats been the most rent free for me in all the time ive played genshin????? oh yeah its so fucking over im in love with the narwhal. like its creating a world!??!?!?! its creating an entire world inside its stomach!???? to create a world it could protect from the cold unfeeling universe for good???? after its entire existence has been defined by a lonely voyage through the cosmos witnessing the rise and inevitable fall of world after world??? and all it could do is weep ceaselessly for each and every one????? HELLO???????? im going to start a cult

also ngl just the sheer fact that its. well. a whale. is also just an emotional 1hko bc like that is Very much an animal where it inherently adds this weight of their sheer size and age and intelligence that makes this little human Feel things. so like. yea the narwhal has a fuckload of things going for it and thats why it just instakilled me and now its just. my beloved. if ajax is my parasocial comp het boyfriend the narhwal is my non gender specified all devouring eldritch wife yes that makes perfect sense dont question this. thank youuuuu. yes watching them beat the shit out of each other in the cutscene (and knowing it went on for 45+ days before that) was very conflicting because of that. why are you fighting we should kiss 😭 im super normal as you can see.

it does rly depress me that in the AQ the narwhals general significance was ultimately just sidelined and turned into an afterthought both in terms of what it is as an independent thinking and feeling individual as well as just. the way hoyo rly didnt expand on ajax' connection to it much at all other than introducing the barebones concept. but its STILL the good fucking food to me. its Never been just a pet to me even if to 99% of the fandom skirks words will just be forever at face value but. whatever. i will love it even more to make up for thsi injustice🥰

[swearphil]

Happy nice ask day to you in return! What’s your favorite book of the year so far? And/or what’s currently on your tbr list? 👀

thank you for sending this, friend! I looked at my list of books I've read this year and I've got four books that have been my favorites so far!

in the order I read them this year:

Loveless by Alice Oseman: I've been meaning to read more books with aroace characters, and I related so much to Georgia! it was really good for me to read

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin: this book! this book! it was on my radar because both John and Hank Green recommended it. I wasn't completely sure if I would like it because all I knew about the plot was that the main characters created a video game and video games aren't always my thing. but oh my god I enjoyed this book so much! at its heart, it's a book about creativity, ingenuity, friendship, pain, and love as you follow Sam and Sadie through their years of friendship. I love how the story is told - mostly in chronological order with some flashbacks to understand Sam and Sadie as kids and some brief looks into the future that frame some of what's happening in the present. and there's one part in particular where I cried so hard. I was bawling and there's a part of me that still refuses to believe what happened happens. it's told beautifully though, so I appreciate Zevin for that beauty in devastation.

Under the Whispering Door by TJ Klune: this book had been on my tbr ever since I'd read The House in the Cerulean Sea. I think I held off for awhile because the book involves death, and I wasn't ready to read about death. but I finally read the book and I loved it! Wallace, Hugo, Nelson, Mei, and Apollo mean so much to me!

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller: another book that had been on my tbr for awhile. I know how this story ends, so I knew from the beginning it would end in tragedy, but I was really excited to read Miller's take on Achilles and Patroclus's relationship. it's achingly beautiful, and the more I read, the more I wanted the ending to be different, but of course it wasn't. yes, I cried.

and here are books I've checked out from the library that I might return without reading because I'm busy with my new job but I'll check them all out again later:

Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall

Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr

The Moving Finger by Agatha Christie

[hornyforpoetry]

Reading journal // "Oriental Tales" // Marguerite Yourcenar

Genre: myths and legends, fairy tales

Year of publication: 1938

Read between 07/07/2023 - 09/07/2023 (European calendar)

Review: "Oriental Tales" is a collection of short stories inspired by oriental fairy tales. Yourcenar explores the beauty of the storytelling tradition of various Balkan countries and the Far East. Greece, Serbia, China, Japan, India, all are explored in turn in the form of rewritten legends.

  What attracted me in the first place is the way the author adapts the language according to the story. Each prose preserves the mode of expression and the regional atmosphere from which the inspiration was taken. The delicacy of Japanese and Chinese storytelling alternates with Greek and Serbian mythology and nostalgia. At the same time, they all retain a special lyricism, specific to Yourcenar.

I'm a big fan of Far Eastern stories, so my favorites were "How Wang-Fô Was Saved" and "The Last Love of Prince Genji". The first one I interpreted as an allegory of the death of an artist. Wang-Fo is an artist who sees the world with a different eye and manages to find beauty in every thing in the world. The perspective is not shared by those around him, however, and he is accused by the Emperor of deceiving him and creating a false image of the world. As Wang-Fo finishes his last painting before his hands are cut off and his eyes burned, the room he is in floods and he is taken away in a boat by his former disciple. The image of his disappearance from the world of the living overlaps with the image of the newly finished painting.

  "The Last Love of Prince Genji" is inspired by "Genji Monogatari", an 11th century Japanese novel about the love affairs of Prince Genji, a native Don Juan. The author of the original novel skips over Genji's last years after the death of his wife. But they are reimagined by Yourcenar in a delicate story about the ephemerality of all things.

Although they did not particularly appeal to me, the Greek and Serbian stories have their own special charm. In "Marko's Smile" for example, I discovered a quote that haunts me even now: "The Iliad” lacks the smile of Achilles." In "Our Lady-of-the-Swallows", Yourcenar brings an interesting view of the creation of the world, suggesting that when God created the angels, he forgot to give them all wings. The wingless angels came to earth and turned into Olympian gods and nymphs. In "The Man Who Loved the Nereids", a man looks at a mute beggar as he tells his interlocutor about how that man met the Nereids, who stole his voice. At the end, he expresses his jealousy towards the beggar because he had the chance to see the most beautiful women in the world with his own eyes.

  Telling stories is a talent in itself. However, Marguerite Yourcenar managed to give them a modern, current look, while preserving their purity. This mythical world meets contemporary everyday life and creates the illusion of continuous time. Our so gray world suddenly becomes a land full of magic.

Rating: 8/10

Summer Reading Challenge

[katerinaaqu]

Alright...alright ALRIGHT! oh my freaking goodness! So much to unravel here and it so pains me to have only 140-ish notes! This amount of work to synthesize this is worth at least 13.000 I swear! Either way there is a lot to unpack so let's see!

For starters I love the mixture between anatolian and greek features here. We know the location of Troy but we also see the Trojans speak the same language and worship the same gods as the Greeks in the Iliad which is very interesting. Not only does it create a closeness with each other (and we know it is not your typical story "them vs us" thing but a more complicated matter than that) but could also potentially wink to the first taking of Troy by Heracles like one or two generations prior. The conquests of heroes in greek mythology were about the spreading of hellenic culture and conquers or colonies created by the greeks in the lands they conquered or moved into. Heracles conquered Troy once which signifies the entrance of hellenic culture in Troy.

Particularly I love the beards that they have looking like a mixture of Assyrian and western. Hecuba looks amazing next to her husband and Priam looks fantastic too! I also feel for poor Kassandra here who is staring to the upcoming doom and cannot stop it (that was an interesting choice of hair that you gave her hehehe) and Polyxena too! She looks so young!

I think Paris and Helenus are some of my favorites of this! So great harmony to their colors! Paris also looks like a little brat here! Hahahahahaha! But he is pretty alright! Hahahahaha! And my oh my Deiphobos looks scary! No wonder that poor Helenus got offended when he didn't get Helen as his wife! XD The regal looks of Andromache and Laodice also look so great!

Now Troilus is intersting! Hahaha he almost looks like an albino! But I can see you try to bring out his godly father's nature here with the pale blonde hair and all. Oh my poor Sinon! Hahahahahaha! He definitely got the wrong end of the stick here! Hahahaha! And what a creative look for Pandarus! The shaved or balding heads are not used very often to art like this so this was really creative (as well as with Deiphobos)!

From the allies Eurypylus looks so ominus and Sarpedon looks so much like Zeus! So great way to show family resemblance! As well as Aeneas again the choice of hair color is to connect him with Aphrodite? Interesting colorism! I think though my favorites are Memnon and Penthesilea! I love how you make the ethnicities righthere and Memnon looks GLORIOUS! Powerful and strong king of Ethiopia, the guy that literally named the epic poem Aithiopis! And Penthesilea! Man that violent laughing look exactly as she was supposed to be described in poems like Posthomerica! Making other terrified of her and yet we also see how beautiful she is (the face that even post-mortem made Achilles fall over the hills in love with her)! I love her tattoos inspired by scythian tribes again! So accurate given how often Amazon warriors were linked to the area of Scythia!

Now for Helen I can see why you are proud of her! She looks fantastic this way! Interesting choice of hair color given how most sources speak of her and many people connect her hair with blonde color instead of red (see Dares the Phrygian elleged accounts) but I love this straubery color stands up as well as her eyes The roses suit her perfectly in the background and I like how you try to bring some of the age she ellegedly has here (I estimate around her final 30s)

Good you didn't include poor Astyanax here! People would bawl their eyes out! TT-TT

Trojan War - the Trojans

The sister piece to my chart on the Achaeans. Out of the two, this is my favourite. I spent so many hours on Helen and I'm so proud of how she turned out.

[pathoscleaved]

@valour-bound sent:

Trace their scars

↳  SOFT GESTURES

ALBERT'S ON HIS STOMACH, ANXIETY FLARING WITHIN HIS CHEST. Red sheets pool around his hips, and the ugly cross hatches of healed lash marks are in full view. He didn't remember if they'd ever talked about that marring of his back. But now, he shows it, an offering of reciprocated trust, looking away only because of shame that he couldn't make himself more beautiful for Chris. Albert is telling him with this act of vulnerability that he will never betray him, not when he shows the coarse flesh of his back, the spot he feels the weakest. His Achilles heel.

"Touch," he says, voice wavering.

Those marks were the reminder that in the orphanage, he had been a bad child. Nowhere near perfect. And no matter the veneer that others saw, he would always be so ugly and scarred, be a split canvas with those crosshatches across his back, shoulders, and near his pelvis.

He isn't used to being so vulnerable - this vulnerability, of course, is something only Chris can bring out in him. The gentle ghosting of his fingers across one of the scars on his shoulder causes Wesker to shiver, and the tenderness of the slow touches. . . Albert feels like a wounded animal being cradled. A shuddering breath is exhaled against the pillow.

Heat rushes down, and the virologist hides his face in his arms and would inch away if not for Chris's steady hand on his hip. In fact, Wesker is pulled closer, and all he can do is shake a little.

Redfield's palm presses to the small of his back, and he moans softly, the warmth a welcome feeling against his epidermis. He finally peeks at the other's expression, and what he sees there isn't disgust. Concern, maybe? Something more pensive?

The typically composed man speaks softly, emotion making his tone thick, "I was raised in the Spencer Foundation Home for Adolescents. That orphanage in Raccoon City. This was the result of the caregivers there. If we did things wrong, or weren't fast enough, they'd make us do physical labor. If we showed kindness or empathy, they lashed us. I showed a lot. Too much. A majority of those marks were punished three or four times - that's why they look so terrible. I showed too much empathy one day that they . . . "

Wesk reveals his palm, the cut that had had hot oil poured on it. Another ugly mark.

"They did this. It was the only time I screamed. Later, I found out that I had been sold to the Foundation by my birth parents. I became an orphan for their greed. And when Spencer revealed things, that I had been raised to be a tool for another's vision, that my own sense of self was cored from me and replaced with his ideals - I lost my mind. I couldn't handle that my life was so manipulated. I wanted to kill everyone because the cruelty of that man. . . I thought only cruelty existed everywhere. I realized during my Uroboros Research that I didn't have a chance. My entire life was an orchestration of another."

A soft puff of air. "I am not telling you this or having you feel my scars for pity. Don't insult me with pity. You want me to reveal all facets, yes? Be completely honest with you. This is me at my most honest. I am ugly, Chris. Revolting. I killed Spencer that night by ripping his heart out because he called me Little Alby. Resorting me to what the orphanage called me. All of my life has been to his and Umbrella's design. So when Uroboros chose me as its worthy host and resurrected me, I knew I had to make my own design."

His mind races to Spot. "I got this one for trying to feed a dog that had been abused to death," he whispers, "I didn't know it had died. Then I attacked the attendant. Spot was my friend. I created Cerberuses so Spot would always be able to live forever and be able to defend himself. So another dog wouldn't have to deal with that cruelty."

Wesker hums, and he feels the hand move to bury itself in his blond locks.

"I am not a good man. I never will be. From birth, I had my empathy and kindness stripped from me. I was conditioned. My hands are stained with blood, and will always be dripping it. But I will attempt to be good. That is what I can give to you. This is who I am. What I am. But it’s - I am yours."

[spilledquinoa]

@esmerelda-and-alouette had to do some heavy convincing for me to post this but it's vaguely based off of Frankenstein and I wrote it maybe three years ago?? anywho, I hope anyone reading this enjoys!!

I had wished more than anything for my labours to be fruitless but alas, I would be forced to reap what I had sown, nay even face the consequences of my heaven-forsaken crimes against humanity. Though, even as I speak, I am so painfully aware that I would, instead, face all of the good, beautiful, and angelic things of the earth and walk backwards into hell. Afterall, I had come here, into this wretched place, hoping against all hopes, to free myself from my worries and pains, but of course, I had been foolish to dream of such pleasurable ease, as it now felt as if I had been stabbed in mine own back, even my Achilles Heel had been run through with that horrid arrow that had ended lives. I had been pained with fools’ love, as it were. I had more than longed for it to be authentic, for he to love as much of me as I, he. My heart had been broken more than enough times. But the moment I told him of my deeds, he fled, only rage left of what brilliance there had once been. When we first met, he struggled, resisted, was so aloofly beautiful. Then the monster came and seemingly killed all his joy. I had gotten married to him, a feeble attempt at bringing back the fire in his eye that had died out so long ago. It had just made everything all the more rocky between us but now he was listless, lifeless, he no longer struggled but instead grew cold, stiff, and unresponsive. Yet in this moment, he looked me dead in the eye, at first I thought he cried tears of pity but I then realized instead, what they really were; tears of loathing and hate. He had screamed that he would have rather been dead than married to me any longer. My heart shattered as he turned and ran from me. There is nothing I could’ve done, I reason with myself. This was a lie. I had nothing to do with his death. This too was a lie. I got up after him to try and reason with him but as I turned the corner, I saw the monster in all of his horrible glory putting him out of his so-called misery. I was angry at him for what he would be putting me through, but angrier yet at the monster, at how gently he cradled my love’s corpse in his arms, how he promised in whispers to put him to rest. I despised this creature, the very one I created. And yet, I did nothing but run from it, watch helplessly as he murdered, and run from all the consequences It is now that I realize, the monster had been created in mine own reflection. I am my most despised, murderous monster. I had killed my love’s joy, then him. I no longer feel remorse after this epiphany.